The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #205 - Joey Diaz, Danny B. and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: August 18, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined Danny B to talk about gambling and the start of football season. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Music:  Public Enemy Fight The Power Tony Bennett - I Wanna Be Around The Cisco Kid - War Recorded on 08/11/2014.

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com. That's Huluplus.com slash Joey, and buy Dollar Shaveclub.com. Get high-quality raises to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now, go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church. Or just go to joey-d-d-Diaz.net and click on the $1.com.

Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by Onit.com. Go there to get AlphaBrain, New Mood, Shroom Tech Immune, Shrame Tech Sport, any of those optimization tools, and get 10% off when you mention Code Word Church. And this show is also sponsored by Hit E-Sigs.com. The proof is in the ESIG. Use code word Joey's Church and get 20% off of your order. Let's kick this motherfucker off on a Monday. August 18th. What?

Kick this motherfucker. fucking Lee. Ferguson, stand up, you black cock suckers. I love you. What? Hit it. Monday morning. Your second chance at life, you fucking cock suckers.

Quit smoking today. Quit drinking. Do jumping jacks. Quit fucking... Everything. Crack hose up the muffler. This is your second chance today. Monday.

Wash those feet. Brush your teeth. Wash your ass. You want friends. Huh. What? We've got to fight the power. That bee.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Wiggle for me. I'm police. Oh shit. Wiggle from my joey, cock suck. What? What?

What? What? What? What? You bad motherfucker you. You made it to the church. What's up, Lisa? I had.

Fucking long five fucking days. I miss you, cock suckers. I know. It feels like longer than since Wednesday. Yeah, we've got to figure some shit out here and shit. It's a beautiful day to be alive. It's a second chance to make. Make it happen.

Salute the flag. Grab your nuts. Whatever the fuck you got to do the reminder. You're in a fucking American. We don't take shit to nobody, motherfucker. What's up, baby? Nothing. That shit in Ferguson is scary.

It's fucking scary. I talked to Joey Falado who called into the... Because he's from St. Louis, right? He's in St. Louis, and he was breaking it down for me, how Ferguson is next to where it's going down, where he lives, and he broke down the three counties to me, the North End and what happened. Well, let me ask you something. Go ahead, my brother.

Because I understand that we need police and that this one bad cop did something. And now the whole thing, it seems like they're all going to shit. But I never really understood, is it something, is it because I'm so white that they never really mess with me? Like when you're walking down the street and then you see a cop, are you worried they're going to mess with you? Because it- You never know what could happen. You never know what could fucking happen. In this situation, you know, it's like three-refer.

wrongs, don't make it right. You know, the cop shoots the kid, then they release the video of him shaking down the fucking owner, and then there's looting, and there's all this stuff, okay? One mistake now led into three others that we shouldn't be doing.

Right. You know, uh, listen, man, I've been a situation where a cop has said to somebody that, there's been an accident. There's been an accident, or there's an event, and you're walking by, and the cop tells you to move to the other thing, And you're like, what are you saying?

Hold on. You know, you're in your thought, and you don't know what they're saying. And sometimes a cop will get into your face. I'm sure that's happened to that ever happened to you. Like, you're not walking on the right thing. Hey, you, didn't I fucking tell you to cross the street? And you're like, really? Is that fucking necessary?

You know, is that fucking necessary? And now you get into a fucking altercation with a cop, and you're always going to lose. Oh, gee. Either they're going to give you a ticket or why you're talking to me that way or turn around, let me frisk you. It always becomes that. We have taken the.

We have taken them the, I don't know how to say the word, not tenderness. We have taken the human interaction away from the police officer. Yeah. Because now when they're trained, they're shooting dogs. Oh, Jesus. You know, a dog is 10 feet away. Put your dog away. Listen, if that dog ain't got a fucking gunner, he's not charging me, I understand putting

your hand on the holster. You know, I understand everything. I understand that it's very tough to be a cop. When I get out of the car, I don't know what I'm going to walk into. I don't know if you have a gun. I don't know what. But instead of this officer saying, my gun went off, I discharged it too early or whatever, you know, it gets covered up.

Right away, the cops come and they go, fuck him. He was just a black kid. You know, he's probably a hood anyway. That's the mentality. I'm telling you, that's a mentality, okay? He's just a fucking number. He's not a human no more. You know, we have taken the human interaction out of being a police officer.

They're trained now a certain way where they're not supposed to listen to us and we're all perps and we're all wrong. Well, did you hear about that stopping frisk thing they had in New York for a while? Yeah. This kid recorded the audio of it and it was terrible. Terrible. But it's and it's like, because you know that you have to have cops and I'm sure, I don't even know for the majority, but I'm hoping that the majority of cops are good people. And part of me, if a cop tells me to do anything, I'm just doing it.

Because whenever I see these videos, people put up of like people outside bars, of people like yelling at cops and like resisting cops. I'm like, why would you, like, why would you do that? Like, and part of me is like, well, maybe you should stand up for your rights and stuff. But the other part of me is like, they have guns. And they're the cops. Why are you yelling at me when I'm just walking out of the club? Why are you yelling at me or why am I?

Oh, my brain doesn't even go there. Let's say you're saying off it. Let's say he's just pushing you. And you're like, get off me. I didn't do nothing. Right away, that's resisting. The rest. They can hit you.

I mean, and then it's 10 cops. Look what happened in Staten Island. I'm no political activist. I'm none of these guys, but this guy is a big black guy. Oh, fuck. They got to die. When they choked them out. Really?

For selling fucking cigarettes? For selling untaxed cigarettes? That's what Staten Island was built on. That's what Sammy the Bull Gravano did for 30 fucking years, you fucking morons. And you got a black guy that's six-foot fucking nine. And the guy's saying, I can't breathe. And the little guy, Johnny Jiu-Jitsu, who's a purple belt just holding on to this fucking guy. This cannot continue.

Because what's going to happen is there's some crazy motherfuckers out there that we'll get a gun and we'll start shooting cops in the fucking head It's happened before and then we sit here and we got a fucking salute as they drive by Listen, we don't know what happened we weren't there number one number two and number three We don't know what type of day that officer is having Okay, you don't understand maybe his kid just got caught playing hooky and the wife is breaking his balls And now I show up and this black guy doesn't want to fight he's just saying hey man you know me What the fuck are you bothering me for? You know, we'll turn around.

The handcuffs don't fit. And also when I jump out, you never know. You never fucking know what type of day a person is having. Okay. And that's what happens a lot of times in these situations. But what happens after them, you know, what does looting? That's the thing. And have to do with a cop.

What is, you know, I don't understand the release. Maybe I didn't grow up in those type of areas. But I did dumb shit like that when I was a kid. I did all that type of shit when something happened. you join up with a bunch of people and you're out there yelling and screaming by the time you get home you're like, what was I yelling and screaming for?

And that's the, I think, I don't know Ferguson, but let's, so I was talking to Paul about it and she was like, during Ronnie King, her mom and her dad looted. Not because they were upset about black people, but they were poor and people were looting and they needed food. So I don't know, is Ferguson lower income?

I guess it used to be a good neighborhood. Okay. I don't know. Joey broke it down from yesterday. It's just so scary that that could happen here. And it's going to happen because now they're going to let the cop go. The cop's going to get acquitted. Always, yeah.

And this is going to happen. There was a march yesterday in downtown L.A. about two cops killing a kid that was mentally challenged. Oh, my God. And then there was another one where two cops, again, got into it with a guy and they beat him up or something in front of his kids. They shot him in front of his fucking kids. So the humanitarian aspect, not the humanitarian, the humane aspect.

You know, when I was growing up, guys, I got in a lot of trouble. And I had police contact a lot. But I don't know what it was in those early years in the late 80s and the early 90s where there were still cops that were human beings. They'd separate you. What happened? Step back, lower your voice, breathe. Okay, what happened?

And you had a chance for them to explain yourself without getting turned around or thrown on the floor or a fucking tank coming down the street. since when the police officers have tanks. Are the neighborhoods that bad? I didn't know that these fucking people had anti-fucking missiles. Oh, fuck yeah. You know, on the street, the shooting. And they were firing, like, tear gas and rubber bullets.

Do you think part of it is, like, budget cuts, and they're just, like, they're overworking them, and they don't hire the best people anymore. And, like, that's part of the reason why I get so upset during tax season. It's like, why am I paying these high taxes, and then you're not, stop paying. I don't know if the politic, I don't know who you should be paying, but pay the cops more.

and like you should have good cops like maybe they're hiring people who they wouldn't have hired before no they're still hiring the same people they still go through the same hiring process it's the way we're getting trained it's the way it's the mindset that they're getting let out into the street at it's the 10 years on the police force

it's the being blind to not appreciate what the job is about anymore you know when you get out of a car you see three black guys there's a call over the radio you're pulling your gun. That motherfucker turns around, but, you don't know. You haven't, like I said, you don't know what type of day you're having. And once a weapon gets pulled out, it's always bad.

Fuck. Yeah. You know, so, you know, what are you talking about it? I don't have all the facts. I'm not going to tell you I'm fucking Diane Sawyer. And I got 20 people fucking working and looking at all the facts. But I know the top fact. I know with black and white.

I know how that works. And I understand contact with police. I've had thousands of fucking contact with police. So it's just. just a bad situation that could settle down or might get worse. And it seems like every time these situations flare in this country, they're getting worse and worse because it's a fucking powder keg. Yeah.

Okay, it flared up in Florida last summer with the Trayvon Martin. You know, it swelled in New York a couple of years ago. It's starting to swell. It's like a body. Your body. All of a saying you get a headache. Your foot hurts. Eventually, this is going to get fucking bad.

Eventually something's going to go. Well, this is worse than Trayvon Martin. because at least the guy who killed Trayvon Martin was just an idiot neighborhood watch guy this guy's a cop. So it's... My prayers go to the family and anybody... My prayers go to Ferguson

that, you know, they got some fucking sleep last night and they didn't go out during the curfew. I was close to Ferguson all fucking weekend. I was two hours from Ferret. I was 159 miles in St. Louis. I was in Padua, Kentucky. I got to tell you, man, I was fucking blown away. Why?

What happened? It was just a different type of place. It was a lot different than what I anticipated. I did a comedy show at the Exeterra Cafe. You know, the kid helped me out, George Machine. Just like a coffee shop, right? It was just a coffee shop. It set 50 people.

I went in there, and I just talked, and I really had a fucking great time. You don't understand comedy. A lot of people don't understand this. There's two different types of comedy. There's the open-mic comedy and people doing shows. Then there's the paid comedy. And sometimes you get sick and tired of just doing paid comedy.

you love just going in and nobody gives you any money and you're just going with no Oh there were no tickets? No No no okay There was a tip jar And I told them at the end

To give it to the young comics Because they drove And I want them to feel like To make 10, 20 bucks To know that this is working You know Okay So there was a tip jar out

And I said nobody I don't want no money You know Give it to these young guys I put the show together And so they know That they're on the right track That's always great

When you're a comic and somebody gives you 40 bucks or 50 bucks. It's a great fucking feeling, you know, to know that you're on the right track. So that's why I did it. And I had a great time. You know, Lee and I were talking about the baby, how hard it is to travel with a child.

I mean, it almost pushed us to a fucking divorce Saturday morning. Jesus. That's how hard we got into an argument because we hadn't slept in two nights. You know, a child has a certain, what do you call that, a schedule. And once you remove them from that schedule and a new surrounding, fucking affects us. I was not going to affect the 19-month.

old child, you know. Yeah. It's amazing that this baby, Mercy talks and runs and jumps and puddles, and she's hell on wheels, but she's still a fucking baby. She's not even in that mid-level. She's a baby.

She's still, her words are starting to come together. It's a beautiful thing to see. Like, she'll try to have a conversation with me, and I'll get four or five words. This weekend, the word was come. It was come. Everything was come. Okay.

She'd turn around, you've got to follow. Come, come. So now when I was calling, I'm like, come. And she would come to me, you know, so it's getting easier. But she's a baby. It's still hard. She's a baby. She fucking flipped down on the flight on the way there.

You know, at the airport, it's this big area where all these people. She wants to run, but she can't. And you can't say, listen, this is an airport. We've got to come down here, but we'll run later. She doesn't understand. Yeah, you can't reason with them. And the second flight was this puddle fucking jumper, and she's sweating, and she doesn't understand. And she's looking at me for the answers, and I ain't got them.

I don't want to be on this fucking plane either. You know, I don't want to be on this fucking plan either, but I explained to my wife, so, you know, temper is boiled there, but I'm happy just to be home. You know, man, I have five weeks at home. I'm having knee surgery next Tuesday, and this was what these weeks were for. You know, I'm not going to Sacramento with Joe next week, because these weeks were already anticipated for his knee surgery and the rest and the rehab. I really want this knee to be done with so I could really get this weight off me, I could really focus on my, you know, and I'm really working hard. Lately, I've been going to Higgan, Machado's Jiu-Jitsu school. I've already gone like three weeks in a row.

You know, I signed up for the BJJ, the log. Okay. I forget what it's called right now. Rafi talked about it. Rafi talked about it. And ever since I joined up that thing, it's helped me a lot more with Jiu-Jitsu. And I'll tell you why, because it's the Weight Watch's concept. It's being responsible for everything.

When you have a website that you have to go to every day and report to and tell it what you ate. Yeah, yeah, do the same thing. And your calories and all that shit. It really makes you a little bit more. You know, I was going to BJJ once or twice a week. Now I've been going three times a week ever since I joined that. Wow.

Because you put it in and it tells you if you're going to improve or not. And how much you improve by going that third day and that you also write your techniques down. You know, like what you learned. So a lot of times I was learning something coming home and just forgetting it. Now I come home and it forces me to write in the log, you know. If anybody's on there, if anybody's going to BJJ, You're trying to lose weight or anything like that. That always helps when you log stuff in of what you've done.

So, like, today I have to go to BJJ at 11, but I got to tell you something. I got a full fucking day. I got auditions today. I got to put a tape on audition on tape. I got to put something down for Comedy Central. I got a meeting with these two dudes tonight. My day goes to 7 o'clock. Wow.

But I got to tell you something, man. And you brought it up to me. I'm very lucky for my cats. Oh, yeah, that was awesome. My cats, any animal, it's not just my. my cats. I was just leaving the house now and I saw Biggie outside and the other blonde cat. And I walked up to Biggie's. I put my stuff in the car and I was letting it warm up. And I lowered the windows and I saw Biggie. He's a cat from the neighborhood.

And I walked out and he walked over and just dropped and let me pet him this morning. Biggie's a big blonde cat. He's in one of the bad flavor's world. Yeah, it was down the block from me. Biggie's a bad motherfucker. Biggie was like the neighborhood pimp, but then they cut his balls off and now he's just this mellow dude. And just this morning, I was walking down the stairs And I was thinking about my wife and the baby And you think about the troubles of the world

Whatever the fuck I was thinking about Just, and as I was walking the street to pet Biggie Just me petting Biggie this morning Just me playing with Biggie for five minutes Because when you scratch Biggie's back He goes, he loses his mouth But nothing comes out It's like he's lip syncing like a jab on his movie

Just that little rub his back for five minutes Yeah Gave me so much satisfaction Oh yeah And you mentioned it yesterday when you called back that, you know, I had Lee watch the cats at night.

I have the lady come in the daytime, feed them, clean the litter boxes. And I know my cats. I know they're very social. Uh-huh. So I have you stop in. You like them. They like you, you know.

Yeah. You stop in, you feed them. You sit there for 10 minutes and you, you know, tell them whatever, that you love them or whatever the fuck you tell them. And, you know, you even said it that you got something out of it. It's really good.

And I walked in, like they all, they were looking at me. And I took a couple of people. pictures because they were just so cute. But then you told me to go feed them and then I got on the phone because I didn't, like, there's different places for the bowls and I'm sure I didn't even get it right. But then you're like, put a wet can and even before, as soon as I went into the kitchen,

like they all came out of the woodwork and like they were gray meows nonstop. Not stop. Which I didn't, I didn't expect it. And then Jimmy was going crazy too. And it was cool to watch because they must have been hungry two nights ago because as soon as I put the food down, they all went in there. And then I was, like, sitting on the couch by myself in your living room watching ESPN. I'm like, what am I doing here?

But then they all came out and started, like, washing themselves. And C.C. came over, and Harry and Dimmie always come over. And it's just, it's a... I wish I had more time. And for cats, I probably could do it. But I always enjoy just playing with the cat. I have to do with that most. Like, anytime you're having a fucked up day or whatever, you walk home and...

Whatever, whether you have a dog or a cat, you go over, you pet your dog, you feed them, and then you're going to go do something, and for some reason that you feel so bad, you drop the one knee, and you just look at them and hug them and play with him and grab his ear and maybe get a ball and throw for your dog. Those three minutes, you know, they say when you have an animal, you live longer. People who have dogs and cats live a little longer, you know, and I can guarantee it's those moments. Like yesterday I got home and I tell you, I was fucking tired. I was tired physically.

I was tired mentally, you know, the night before. I hadn't slept Friday night. So I get there Thursday. We go to dinner. You know, we go back to the room. I'm watching TV. I think it's going to be a regular night. You know me.

I go to bed at 11.30 next to you know at 4 a.m. I'm walking around. I mean, I got up. I could not sleep. I could not. The baby was next to me on the bed. You know, she woke up. I played with her.

I went and got breakfast and the day started. Friday night, I went to do that coffee shop, and I didn't eat a Cheba Chew. I had a Cheapy, for the whole weekend. Okay. And I said, I'm not going to eat it Friday, man. I should have eaten it Friday night. Because I got back to the room, and it was a fucking nightmare.

And by 4 in the morning, we were just fighting. And she left at 7 because the child just wouldn't sleep there, you know. She went to her brother's house, and the baby slept there. And then when she got back, we put the baby down again. But, so I went to bed at Saturday. night like at 8 o'clock. I had to catch a 6 a.m. flight in Paduca, which the airport is hilarious.

Fucking the best airport. That in Santa Fe, New Mexico. This didn't even have a food. Santa Fe had a restaurant. This didn't even have a restaurant. This just had four machines. You're like, where to get for you? Like an egg sandwich machine.

Oh, no. A coffee machine. A candy machine and a soda machine. That's all this place had. Excuse me. It didn't have nobody serving hot food. Nothing. I was prepared.

I had like a banana and something else. And by the time I got home, that Chicago, the L.A. flight was easy. I saw Ron Futch on the plane. I talked to him at the airport in Chicago. I met him. I shook his hand as I was eating a Friday sandwich in Chicago. I was fucking starving. And I got home, and I tell you, when I walked in the house,

I had to do a couple, I had to clean the little box and sweep up a little bit. I opened the door to get some air in there, lit some candles. I fucking, just to give them my... threw all the clothes and the tan, you know, I do my regular ship, hook up the sleep battening machine, and I had this list. I had to go to the Routes. I had to go to the bank. I had to go to the weed store.

I had to make another move at this place. I had to stop and see if the medication was in from my fucking knee. And I'll tell you what, when I got back last night, I really wanted to take you to dinner. I'll take lead to dinner after I do the emails. I couldn't leave the house. Oh, I knew that. Because you asked me what you're doing for dinner. I'm like, I'm going to have it in a little bit.

And you really, I knew you were tired. I was tired, but I just felt bad for them. I didn't want to leave them another night. Right. So I basically got on my hands and knees, like at 4.30 with them. And I brushed all of them, which was a fucking amazing to brush those cats with the metal thing. And then with the brush to get the hair off. Do they, like, line up at all?

Oh, my God. They fucking love it. And they scratch at each other to move. You're done. Don't come back. Fuck you. He already brushed you. I got so worried.

And I wasn't even high. but I got worried because you have baby things set up in your house and I'm not that experience with cats so Cici got behind the one at the TV place and I was like I don't know if she can get back out from there so like I may I like kept calling her like I wanted her to just be out of there before I left but then she jumped and I'm like oh that's not for the cat that's for that's so mercy doesn't get behind there

and the cats are fine but I was I was I was my worst nightmare was like that I was going to leave Saturday night and you would get back Sunday afternoon and Marcee and Sisi would be behind there like meowing and peed somewhere she wasn't supposed to behind the TV and but she was fine. No, Mersh, uh, they always go

back there. Okay, I didn't know that. You know, they got to break my ball some fucking part of the other day and they go back there and they love it, you know. When the kid's not there, they don't really piss back there or anything or shed back. I thought she was going to get trapped. No, but it's just really

nice to have them. It's really nice to have animals and just to take time yesterday, as stressed out as I was, I sat them all down, like I said. I pat him and Demi bit me while I'm brushing them. They get so emotional when you brush them. Like the girls put their claws in you as you brush them. And they bite your hand and Demi bites you a little bit. He'll bite your wrist a little bit as you're brushing his ears. It's pretty interesting shit.

But it's, I don't know. It's just a great fucking. Where's the music at? Where's I want to be around? It's Monday, cock suckers. Get your shit together. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Get up. Grab your ball, sniff your fingers. Thank the Lord for giving you another fucking day, cock sucker.

The church, bitch. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. This candy's kicking in. Oh, fuck. Give you something. If you never give you a little. Missilegazy candy. No.

That's 6,000 milligrams of purecate, Cizikin juice, and Arabian ballhead. I'm pretty melancho too. I'm a little too. Yeah. Who will swear to be true? Are you fucking kidding me or what? I thought of you last night because there's this app that you can get like discount tickets on. And I was just looking through to board, I couldn't fall asleep.

And Wutan Clan with Talib Kali is going to the forum in Englewood. And I was like, oh, that'd be cool to go see And then I just thought of you, like, why are you going to go jump up and down With all the black people I'm like... Don't kill you, Don't get the forum With Khalid Mahook

and the fucking rest of the people. The forum, it's beautiful. They said they redid it inside. You know, I went to see Janet Jackson there. Really? And like 98, they said they redid it and stuff. Let me ask, what is going on with the Ice Challenge? I don't understand what ALS is.

I don't understand nothing. Well, ALS is... And last night, my buddy called me. He goes, dog, they're fucking used to... You're getting challenged. I was going to challenge you, but it's, it's Lou Gehrig's disease, which is terrible. I saw the thing they did on SportsCenter, but like it just shuts you down. Like your brain's still good, but you can't move and you can't talk.

And your body just disintegrates. And this guy who got it when he was like 27, a baseball player who was great, and he started raising awareness for it. And it's just, people are doing it now just to do the ice. and I only did it for the ice. I don't have money right now to be donating to people, but the point is you're supposed to raise awareness for the disease because what he said is apparently it hasn't changed since Lugarig got it.

Like there's been no improvements. It's just when you get it, it's just like two years and you're dead. So they said like the ALS Foundation's donations donations have gone up like 400% from this time last year, which is great. Some people get annoyed because it's just people. people on Facebook now and it's just a it's like a celebrity status symbol now to be to be doing it. I do. I think I think it's good that people are getting awareness and it's good to bring people

together and it's always it's a funny way to do it because people, it's cold in the ice. But I do see what some people are saying, like, why don't you just donate the money? Don't put a video on Facebook and I understand that part of it. But I got challenged so I did it. And I was going to nominate you, but I was like, there's no way you're going to stand on your front lawn. In a bathing suit and poor ice water on your head. You never know. You don't know. If it's for a good cause and maybe I'd rather check 50 bucks or 100.

You never know. Yeah. It's all about it. It's scary. I mean, my grandmother didn't have ALS, but she had Alzheimer's, which is basically the same. And that's genetics. And now I'm worried about my mom. And Seth Rogen had that thing a few months ago where he went in front of someone in Congress

and was talking about it. And it's just, that's really, like, that's one of the ones where, like, this. kid was healthy. Like, I'm trying to get healthier now, and there's just some stuff, no matter how healthy you get, like, you have a bad role of the genetic cards or something. But we have a call coming in.

What's up, Denny B? Oh, you tell me, brother, man. How's everything? Good, good, no. Last night I'm sitting there, minding my own fucking business, going through the channels, and I'm watching Carolina play somebody last night, and I'm sitting there going. It's amazing that it's fucking football season again. And usually I just watch it for a minute.

I watched a quarter. In fact, I call Lee, and I go, Lee, I'm sitting here watching football. He goes, I can't. I go, yeah, I'm scratching a fucking itch. You know, you get sick and tired and not having football on. And listen, man, I always started as a football fan. But as life gets real, you've got to cut the fantasy shit out. So I cut away from football.

I can't sit there anymore, Danny, and watch three games like we used to 30 years ago on a Sunday. I wish I could. I wish I could see. Well, you know what? Because you got responsibility now. Back in the day, we had none. And I get it. For me, it comes natural because it's part of what I do, but for the average guy,

you know, unless they're betting the game, those guys can't help themselves. But, yeah, I get it. It's tough to sit down as you get older watching a football or a baseball game in its entirety. I'm a peaker. I peep, man. Like, I don't even like to see the shit, coax. I got money on a game. I peek at it.

I come back 10 minutes later. I peek because I'll tell you why. I had the Colts the other night 26 to nothing All the Giants With 10 minutes left in the game They lost 27 to 26 Do they really?

That's why you don't Yeah, it fucking killed me, man I was looking at the score I didn't watch the game I got right 26 fucking nothing 10 minutes left in the game I wake up the next day

I saw the final score I almost puked my breakfast up That's why these games Fuck you up Man But yeah it is good to have football here but reality, yeah, it's tough to watch a full football game. Let me ask you something.

I was talking to Lee last night, and Lee, like, I go, Lee, you're not watching, because I don't watch preseason night. And I go, you know, it's amazing that people are betting right now already. He goes, how much? And I broke it down. I go, Lee, you know, most people right now, like North Bergen people who people grew up with, like last night, they bet a five-time, a $25,000, maybe a five-time parlay, 50 bucks to watch the game.

And to them, that's what they're doing. It's a reason to watch the game. You don't have everybody gambling But you got a few Well listen I'll tell you what I'll tell you what There's some sick bastards out there I got a client that rock and rolls

You don't care I'm talking about that 500 on the game But he can't do it So he's betting three grand the game on preseason game Oh my God You know so Yeah yeah you know You have to have a couple

Action is action baby But how Action is action So when when gamblers When good gamblers are breaking down games I'm like they're looking at who's playing But with preseason and they're bringing in people

who aren't even going to make the team. Like that, I... Well, yeah, good point. Here's the thing with preseason. A lot of people say, you're crazy playing. Certain teams have a different itinerary. You know, they're checking out defensive backs.

They know who's doing what. Look for a team with depth, like quarterbacks, fighting for each other, you know, fighting for the number one spot. Look what Pete Carroll did in, Seattle game. He had Russell Wilson in

with, like, two minutes left in the first half. He almost got hurt. So he's playing to win. He ain't fucking around. So preseason for the average guy, you're back the fuck off. But guys that have the edge, you know, you follow the money.

That's simple. For me, I just follow the sharp guys, and, you know, they make money more times than they lose. That's simple. But, yeah, back off the preseason because it is a crapshoot. You know, it's amazing how I look at the Twitter timelines

from time to time. I see you hustling. I see the Philly Godfather hustling. But I see a couple new people on the horizon that are getting retweeted by people that are on the computer. It's amazing how much life changes, but it's really amazing how the trends change, Danny. You know, 20 years ago, you'd have to call people all fucking day. Now they're on the computer. They're on the fucking computer figuring it out.

And you could sell your product on the computer without even talking to the person. Well, the problem is you can do that, but a lot of guys didn't qualify to sell a product. So anybody with a website and the Twitter account's making money, you know, because, you know, most guys are okay at it, but push comes to shove. This is the same easy. When you're betting your own money, and how many of those guys are actually betting their own money? That's the thing. Are they really betting or are they selling picks because, you know, they got nothing to lose, you know? So, you know, they come a dime a dozen these days, I'm scratching my head, you know, I'm scratching my head.

You know, every time I turn around, there's a – but there's some legitimate guys out there. I get them on a podcast, a couple of real short players out there, but they're far and few between, brother. What else did I want to say here? I hear you were in Kentucky or Tennessee not too long ago. I was in Kentucky this last weekend, man. How did that go for you? Kentucky's a, listen, man, I practice what I preach.

I'm not going to come on this fucking podcast and tell you motherfuckers that I love Smallville, USA. I love visiting Smallville, USA. I do it more than most of the people I know. I love that small mentality. I love going to see people in their most primitive effect, you know. Anybody can go to Chicago. Anybody could go to New York. Go do comedy and Paducah, you know, at a coffee shop, you know,

with 60 people who drove from Louisville, Kentucky to see you. Four hours. People who drove from Cincinnati. It was a great feeling, man. And I like being in the heartlands of places. You know, anybody could go to North Bergen, you know, Go to the middle of New Jersey, go to the middle of New Jersey,

where there's fucking mountain lions and shit, and you have a conversation with them. I remember when the shore was different. Remember when the shore was just, you know, I always felt bad for the shore people because for four months a year, they got tormented. They got tormented by assholes like me

and fucking Darren Rago and fucking, you know, for four months. And I remember when Frankie Edgar first came on the scene in the U.S. scene, he started beating people. One of the first bets I haven't made in the UFC with my wife was UFC 100 was Frankie Edgar when he beat Sean Shirk and nobody could believe it. And I remember telling Joe Rogan on the way back, I go, I grew up down there. Those kids were forced to be tough. Those little shore motherfuckers, those little dirty dogs, as I used to call them, those dudes would fight you to the death down there.

Yeah, they were tough. You know, we had some good times down there. You're right. We tormented that town. Bermar, Seaside, we picked a new city every year. Manusk, well, no, you evolved. You started that, you first started at seaside, Lavalette. You said.

And then you went to Belmar, and then you went to Manisquan, and then you went to those other schoers. What was that place in Belmar that we used to, that the roof is on fireplace that. Remember that song, the roof? What the fuck was that? There was one place, Montego Bay, where we were eating Quayloor like a motherfucker. Montego Bay.

Dude, I remember many times waking up in the parking lot at, like 10 in the morning, the owner kicked me like, hey, Dan, we're getting ready to open the club. You mind moving over? Yeah, no, no. I'd be like, what? I have rocks in my face from the little stones. We had some good times, though. A lot of, a lot of laughs. 10 people piling up in a one bedroom, you know, just bodies everywhere.

People make it. They charge you. They would charge you a lot of money for those houses in the summer. The landlords would jack the prices up, so you couldn't afford them. So you had to go like eight people to a house. But it's amazing when I see pictures now on the shore. Like I have people send me pictures of what the beach looks like on the week. And first of all, they haven't really recovered from the hurricane last year.

Sandy, yeah. Have not recovered. A lot of those shores are still closed, construction. You know, they got hit. You know, like when the hail comes down in Colorado. Next thing you know, every construction company is in Colorado. Not only that, you have all the fake contractors that come, take your deposit, and then they'll tell you, yeah, get your deposit.

was 10% up front, we'll be here in a month because we're fucking busy as shit. And they never do the work. Well, that also happened in New Jersey because New Jersey being the capital of fucking scams, they got scammed the hardest. So a lot of these people went back to do construction. And those places ain't fucking done yet. So the shore this year was... Go ahead.

Go ahead. I'm sorry. The shore this year was very tough. There I go again. Fuck. There I go. We're so fucking rude, too, where we're from. The shore.

That week was very... tough, so I don't even though I lost my train, I thought that. What were you saying about your mom? I did it to you. I fucked you. I fucked you. Take a bite of the brownie. It'll come to you. No, my mother lives in Keynesburg, you know, and that's a short town, and they're still fucked up. Half of the block is

what do you call condemned. They got it roped up. They haven't recovered, and what are we, two years later or more, so that place is fucked up. I haven't really hit the Jersey shore a couple of years back. The Seaside, the book, the rooms, of a book, we found one place, we saw a ghost, and we left. I got a picture of it. I'm going to send

it to you. Legitimately, Jamie was taking a picture of me and the kids slumming it. We called slumming it, because we're always in these five-star hotels. We couldn't find out and got a hole in a wall. So we're laying in his broken down Victorian building, and I said, Jamie, take a picture of this. I've never done this in a long time. And then we were talking about packing up and leaving and then she goes you might really want to pack up now look and we found a ghost in the picture i put it all over facebook i got to get it out there if anybody out there any of you fans out there don't tell me that's a ghost i'm telling you cocoa it was a fucking ghost i got to send you to pitch you he'll trip out on it so that's the last time i went to new jersey uh new jersey

beaches besides atlantic city last time i was new jersey beach was probably nine years ago and I didn't even go to the beach. I was with Jimmy Burkle. Jimmy Burkle. I was in Jimmy Burkle. And we went to Atlantic City to eat crab legs. And while I was in Atlantic City, I got a gig in Connecticut. So Jimmy Berkel and me got in the car and he drove me all the way to Connecticut.

But as far as swimming down the shore, oh my God, it's got to be 98, 97. I used to go to Seaside Park with the DeLorenzo's or Chris. And on the corner, he had a hot dog stand. Oh, my God, Danny. They had spicy chili. The guy had the fucking, the Sabret chili, but he spiced it up, and I would get like six. I would get six hot dogs a city.

I was averaging fucking 20 hot dogs a day, three days down the show. It was amazing. You know what? You mentioned Di Lorenzo, that he had that place, a little unit next to Montego Bay. Remember that apartment complex? Right by Montego Bay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's where I used to sleep in the parking lot, you know. was no room. You know, if you got in early, you got a bed or a spot on the floor, but half the time I would grab a blanket, fucking sleep right in the park, a lot of Montego Bay. You know, and, uh, oh, those were good times. And that's funny, too. I also remember that week, Miss Tager, of course, Romano. She was like one of the boys. She'd fucking blast, blow all night long act like nothing happened on, arm wrestling. She went tubing in the fucking Atlantic, and she forgot to shave her, you know, a little, Chucci. I just remember looking

out it was like the funniest thing. She just floated around all fucked up with a hairy pussy sticking out. But, uh, yeah, we had some good times back then Coco. How's your brother? How's Gary? Huh? What do you hear from Gary? Oh, oh, what I heard from Gary? I just got, no, bad and bad

stuff. Okay, let me do-do-do-do-do-do. Let me patent up the Gary's story here. Um, I got a link sent to me about a week ago from my cousin, Mikey. I guess the kid that he, he, uh, robbed the banquet, flipped, and confessed on other things. He was on a spree there, you know, a three-week spree. All in North Bergen, right?

He's fucking a three-mile mile radius. He took down first, the guy, they got him for the one bank, car jack and bop-lop of it. The young kid fessed up today. I had robbed a bank earlier in a week, like four days earlier. They had done a couple of McDonald's and Burger Kings, and there was a restaurant down there, the chateau. You remember the Chateau, Coco?

It's still there. I think that's the name of it. They followed some Broad Home, Gump Point, took like six lodge from her purse. So they connect, and he's done, bro. He's not going to see the streets again, you know, and not. So that's the latest. Haven't spoke to him. You know, I think he's in Newark, somewhere around Newark Prison.

I'm not sure he hasn't roared into nobody. but yeah, we just got the latest charges. So, yeah, you know, so he did a few banks and God only knows what else he did. And one of the getaway drivers died. That's right. I forgot. It wouldn't tell on this story,

but they had a getaway driver that died. I don't think it was related to the bank robbery. So Gary's fucking, I don't know. It's sad, bro. It's said it's killing my mom. You know, she's not doing too well herself. But, yeah, he ain't going to come home any times. soon, pal. What's the deal for the season? What do you got for these guys if they sign up now,

whether it's for the month, whether it's for the year, what do you got going on this year? What's the package? Let's see, what do we got today? For the church guys, I always take care of something special, but for the common guy out there, we got the 150 for the month, but if you sign up for one month, you get another month free, breaks down to like less than $5 to play. And then if you do it for the year, it's like 50 cents of the play. We give out like 30 to 40,000 plays a month. You break down the math, it breaks down to dollars or pennies. I'm not really, you know,

really right now, we're getting ready to get the football season off. As you know, my bread and butt is still radio. We just did, me and Big Lou just did a what do they call, documentary on sports betting with the National Geographic Channel. They were out by

you guys in California for drag racing. You know, how people bet on the car races on the street. Then they were down in Georgia doing dog cockfighting. So they came up this way to do me and Lou for a sports betting. So that better should have

sometime in January. We're just getting ready to get my season going, Coco. You know, next week next Thursday, starts it up to 28th. But tonight you have a big game with Cleveland and Walt. They're anticipating a big audience

tonight for this. Johnny football. You know, he's not starting, but tonight's a big game. They expect a good audience to watch the Monday night game. What's, you know what happened to Monday night football? When I was growing up, Monday night was everything.

You didn't even make plans on Monday night. If you did an event on Monday night, you were fucked because why would you do something? People are going to keep asking, hey, is the game on? You just get irritated. Now Monday night football is nothing. It's like fucking nobody even acknowledges it. There's no more happy hours.

There's nobody fucking stabbing people. You know, he used to be fun. They got it going on here. They do kind of, they don't know about West, but here they still got there Monday night. specials, wing nights, they celebrate, but you're right, the luster's gone. It's not what it was. Nothing is. Nothing is. Everything's televised. There's games seven days a week.

You know, but when we're in the 80s, we had that buildup. We had that Monday night buildup. They didn't even have the Sunday night. No getting on. Every once in a while, they would have an ESPN special Sunday night evening Atlanta Falcons or something, but no, it was straight up. Lee, what's going on? You want to ask Danny a question? You over there? You stoned it on that candy? I'm a little stone, but I have a bunch of questions.

We'll hit him. What the fuck? Sure, fired away, Lee. Well, Joey, I don't remember why we were talking about it. You guys are fucking stoned all the time. Yeah, well, fucking stoned all the time. That's why you forget shit. That's true. But he was saying how if we went to Atlantic City, you can't leave the strip.

And I really like gambling. I'm just not, I haven't put enough time into it to be good at it. And I was watching this documentary on this blackjack player who beat, like, the Atlantic Atlantic City Casinos for like $15 million. Come on, spit it out. It's okay.

He beat him for like 15 million, but they were saying that Atlantic City's really dying right now. So like... It's deadly. And you were saying you were just there. So like, why is it, like, why is it dying? Well, you know what?

A couple of things. I was at the Reveld, which is, I think, just went out of business or about it. And it's the most beautiful casino. It's the most expensive casino. in the United States, at $2 billion. It's gorgeous. It's gone bankrupt twice now in less than two years.

There's no reason to go there. You have casinos here in Bethlehem, the sands. They're all over Philly and the Poconos and Yonkers. So there's no reason you can bet online now in New Jersey. There's no reason to go to Atlantic City. Yeah, it's beachfront, but it's land-handlers. It's lost its luster. Sports betting could help.

help the road to recovery, but it's not the solution. You know, it's not the whole solution, but it definitely can help spice up some interest. Things that just changed. You know what? Again, when they were the one game in town, yeah, everybody went to Atlantic City, but you don't have to know more late. You know what? They come up with this rebel.

It's gorgeous. It's an oasis in Atlantic City, but it wasn't people-friendly. They didn't have it. They designed it beautiful, but not for gambling. They kind of made it like a resort. And people down there, they're broke. They don't have money to spend like that. And it just wasn't carefully thought out the layout of the place,

but a beautiful... They tried to put a silk hat on a pig. That's what happened. They tried to put a silk cat on a fucking pig. You know, first off, let's get... You're absolutely right. Me and Lee just went... Lee and I just went down to Harris in San Diego,

to Casino. We went down there. Lee, how good was the... the lobster bisque. Great. Everything was great. It's a beautiful fucking place.

So me and Leah coming back with Stone to the Gills on a cookie and we're talking about how a gambler, a degenerate gambler,

doesn't need to go to Las Vegas anymore. All he has to do is drive to San Diego now or Pachanga Casino or the bicycle club

which rock all day right in my neighborhood here. Right off the 7thena so Gabe Brig Laces started comedy at the bicycle casino. You go to Commerce Casino, the same thing.

Okay, they're all fucking Thai and Asian people. But who gives a fuck? They got cash. That all cuts out from Vegas. Vegas is going after the 21-year-old that drives their every Friday and does ecstasy and jumps up and down. Vegas isn't doing bad.

They're not doing well. Okay, so now in Vegas you've got these 21 and 23-year-olds that go to do drugs, and you got families. that in between is missing. That in between is staying home. That in between is saying, hey, you know what? I don't need to spend $600 on a fucking plane ticket and another four in a hotel room to gamble.

I can pocket that. I could buy an eight ball and save $700. Well said. And again, here, I mean, I got the sands. Hopefully you'll get a chance to play there. It's beautiful. I mean, it's probably one of the nicest casinos I've seen. the rooms are reasonable

but the problem there now is they're bushing in all the gooks out of New York just that you know the Asians are coming in they're giving them like $50 worth to play they got a guy

they did a little film on him he makes two trips a day he gets these $50 vouchers sells them for 40 bucks so he makes $80 bucks a day just going back and forth hanging out you walk around the sand it's like nine of the living bed

nothing but Asians just walk walking around waiting for the bus to take them back. They take bats in the bathrooms. They steal your little free plays, your cards, you know, your fucking card you're leaving the machine. It's really bizarre. So, yeah, both Atlantic City and Las Vegas,

it'll never be what was. There's too many places popping up, but, you know, with a little help from legislature, if they legalize sports betting in Atlantic City, because it is beachfront, you know. It is, that's one advantage they have that Vegas doesn't. It's beachfront. The beach is a pretty nice.

I heard the beach is nice. I heard the beach is clean. I have a friend that's very picky, and he says that he found the solution. He goes to Atlantic City, because nobody goes on that beach in the summer. He goes, they're all down the shore jumping up and down. He goes, you go to Atlantic City,

he goes, you get a room, you go on the beach, it's like stealing. He doesn't even gamble. No. He goes down there, he gets a steak, and he comes back on Sunday. He loves it, him and his wife fucking love it. Nobody knows.

They don't gamble. But nobody remembers Dee. Nobody remembers Dee. When we were growing up, if you went to 30th Street in Bergenlein Avenue, by the cab stand, you paid $9.99, they gave you a voucher. They gave you $10 in quarters, and they gave you $20 in coupons to eat. And they put you on a bus to Atlantic City. The catch was, you couldn't leave early if you lost. So if you took the 7 a.m. bus, you had to take, you had to wait for the 3 o'clock bus.

You couldn't go back on the 11 o'clock bus. That's how they got you to spend money because they know you're going to lose. They're going to give. It was free. Atlantic City basically bussed you for free because it costs you tend to get in, but you got $10 and quarters when you got down there. Okay. Well, that's what they're doing with the Asians, but they're disciplined.

They're fucking smooth. You know, they're discipline. They can walk around. They graze. I'm telling you, you'll see them. You're like, what the fuck is this? They're all over the place. So how far is it from New York to Bethlehem by bus?

Oh shit. Without traffic, hour 15 from the Port Authority. That's fucking amazing. No, so I'm telling you, they're making money. It's like they were all over the local news here, like how the Asians are just taking the free. And they're making a profit. They're giving them $50 in vouchers.

They're selling them for 40 to the guys, you know, so the guys saving 10 bucks. You do it a couple of times a day. travel five days a week, the guy's making 400 bucks. They find you know, again, they pack their little lunches once in a while. It's fucking amazing.

But they also got in Connecticut. They got all these places around New York now that you don't need, you know, and I love Las Vegas. I got nothing against Las Vegas. But again, a degenerate gambler in this economy, bitches, you know, it's tough out there for a pimp.

I don't need to go to Vegas to play cards the blackjack convention. When I could go to Bethlehem, get conned. I'm an hour from my house. If I pick up a chick and I want to stab her. What happened? Hey, listen, I was up in Long Island, man. You know, they're comical up in Long Island.

You've done comedy up there a few times. But I have a little offers up. We moved from Comac to Bayshore. My boy lives in Port Jeff, Port Jefferson. So they got all of these fucking Italians coming in playing Hawaiian cards. It was fuck. I wish I was filming a Coco. It was the most hysterical thing.

I've seen. These guys were having parts of $30,000, $40,000. I was tripping out. I went to bed at 12 o'clock. I woke up for work. They were still out of it at 9 o'clock. They stayed in the place to like 12 or 1 o'clock. But just the atmosphere was funny. You ever watch some of those Long Island guys, Coco? When they're playing, cursing and making fun of each other. So, yeah, it was kind of comical, but you don't have to go nowhere. You don't have to go far or you can bet online right now, you know, especially in the Jersey, Nevada.

You can bet legally online. And there's 90% of us out there are betting illegally online. Isn't there a casino in New York City and, like, Queens? Yonkers. Yonkers. Yeah, it's a good one. You got the racetrack there, you know, so it's a nice setting. It was one of the first casinos that offered full service.

They started off with slot machines only late. And then they instituted blackjack roulette and poker. But Yonkers, I believe, was the first. Allegedly, Mammoth Park is going to offer sports betting, and they're going to ignore the federal ban. So let's see what happens here in the next couple of weeks. Let's see if the feds, it's kind of like the pot thing, you know. It's illegal federally, but in the states, it varies.

So same with Mammoth Park. They're just saying, fuck it. We're going to stick our chest out and see what happens. I wonder if the fed will come in and confiscate the machines or whatever. I don't know. So that should happen in two weeks, they're saying. My mother's number one addiction was the ponies, and that was her last hope was Yonkers, because that was the nighttime.

They were late night. Like when she called me at midnight, I knew she was coming back from fucking Yonkers. Yonkers is the last planet unknown. The last stop. That fucking track looked like death at night. I used to be scared. She was telling me she was going to Yonkers. Because it was every degenerate gambling in the tri-state area.

This is their last hope to wake up with money in that pocket. And they redid the track. I hope they fucking redid that thing. Oh, it's nice. They did some urban authorization there because that shit was a fucking jungle up there. That was this. And you know what, man, you have to... That's the other thing now.

These casinos look great. They look great for the eye. And they get a steak in there. You get a good cheap steak in there for these fucking people, and they feel like they had a fucking The Palms Hotel. And they're ready to go. I don't blame them. I don't blame it.

Atlantic City, I'll tell you, I've been to Atlantic City. I can put it on my hand. And it's been like an okay experience all five times. I don't even tell you something. The food's not good no more. Remember they used to feed you for free? Even in Vegas, the food was next to nothing. Vegas still offers a lot of great food, but you're paying for it.

In the 80s, we ate like kings. It's expensive. We got Bethlehem, I mean, without traffic, it's literally eight minutes for my house. The Bethlehemma, the fans. They got emeralds and air. The food's okay, but it's fucking expensive. You know, you figure you can't eat cheap in these places no more. You know, so, you know, gambling's huge, man.

It's everywhere. I just don't, you know, I just don't see why they don't let us bet on the sports because everybody wants to do it. Everybody's doing it. You know, people are getting in trouble because they have to. I think here's my opinion. If you regulate it, make people post money that they can afford to lose rather than betting with bookies on credit and stuff like that.

I think it's just good. It's just smart. But let's see what happens. And football again, officially next Thursday, college football starts up. Some teams to look for. Let me throw out a little advice. You can look at some of these future bets. Okay, let me get to my...

Are you okay over there? You fucked up? You're fucked up? I'm listening. It's not a bad candy. You're ready? Yeah, you're ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm ready. I said, now, these odds have been changing. A lot of guys are going to be playing the favorites, like Seattle and Patriots in Denver. You know, you got Seattle 9 to 2 and Denver, like 7 to 1. Patriots, I'm looking at some value here, you know, long shots to an extent, but good teams, like the Saints. If you put some money on the Saints, you can get them at 20 to 1. They have a good chance of work. winning the Super Bowl this year. So I'm like in the Saints at 20 to 1. And in AFC, the Colts

bring a lot of value at 25 to 1. So if you put a little bit of money on these teams, maybe 10 bucks, 20 bucks, and then you see that they're not cutting it towards the end of the year, you can always hedge your bet. But some good value on the Saints, Colts, and in college football, a lot of people are high on Oklahoma Sooners this year. You know, they started off at 15 to 1. Now they're at 10 to 1, so they're high on them. Of course, your Florida State Bama, all burn the flavor favorites, but Georgia, some people like Georgia at 13 to 1 in Oregon.

My personal bet is South Carolina. I think South Carolina and Sparia, long shot at 23 to 1, but there's definitely some good value out there, Lee. Anybody have any thoughts? Well, it's not, anybody? It's not NFL, but before, LeBron James went to the Cavaliers, like, how many people are going to make millions if they win?

Because weren't they, like, 60 to 1 before LeBron James came? Now they're, like, the favorites. So, like, that always, I always feel stupid. Because when, like, when they first came out, like, the Cavaliers were, like, 60 to 1 odds, and now they're, like, 5 to 1. So if they win, some people are going to make millions. Well, yeah, I mean, if you got in early before the move, yeah, that was fucking great. But, you know, you got to foresee the few.

there, but I don't, honestly, I was surprised that he went back there, but, you know, good for him, you know. They hated him a few years ago. Now they love him again. That's the world, you know, what, what have you done for me lately? You know, but again, anything can happen. I just take this year, and this, I've been doing this now. This is my 21st season, like doing radio and television with this shit, and it's every year it's something different, you know, always something happens. Somebody gets hurt, fucks up the team. So I always tell everybody, and I'm honest with everybody, but just put some money aside that you can afford to lose,

have some fun with this, expect, you know, expect some ups and downs. But, you know, you can't make money at this, but the key here, Lee, you have to have money. You have to have money to go with this, like anything else. They tell people all the time. And I'm very sincere about this, Goki, you know the way it is. You got $100,000 put into a money market account. or or any investment what you're looking at two percent seven percent maybe if you're lucky

so so on a low end the money market account two two percent of a hundred large that's two thousand dollars you pay taxes on it at least enough of fucking happy meal how much money did the government or the banks make off of your hundred grand god only know so for the guys that have money that have discipline it ain't for everybody i'm telling you why with that type of money you can't get hurt unless you get stupid and bet 10,000 a game. If you're moving 1,000, 2,000, 3,000 a game with that type of money behind you, you're guaranteed to make money as long as you stay disciplined.

When I'm following guys that like the Philly Guard's father and the whole group, one thing about me now, I'm more connected than I've ever been Coco, because now I'm tracking some real sharp players. All those guys, you've had them on your show, the guys that were betting the big money behind Donagie's games. You know, and they're very sharp. You know, people think you have to hit 80%, 70% to make money. You don't. Listen, and I throw this out to everybody, too.

It's common sense. People will look, and when they're going, can I hit 70%. I can lie to you and say, yeah, but no, listen, if you can hit 58%, you had a great year. You had a great year, and I'll just throw out some numbers, and I'm going to round them off on radio here. Say 60%, it's easy to follow, right? Lee, this goes to you, Blake.

Okay. You have, you play 500 games in a year, okay? And if you're in a position to say, or whatever you can afford, you bet a thousand dollars a game, that's it. People try to get 5,000, 10,000, and they get greedy. But if you bet consistently and you hit 60%, that's 300 wins and 200 losses. A thousand dollars, you made $300,000. You lost $2,000 with the juice. You still made $80,000.

just betting a thousand dollars a game, but it's not for everybody. Only 2% of the people have the moxie to do that, and they don't chase. You know, Coco, we know about the chase. And I've seen this. I've made millions at this shit. Honestly, and I've lost millions, too. But this is not for everybody. It's not for the squeamish.

It's not for the compulsive guy, the guy that has addictive personalities. This shit will swallow you up. I talk to guys that paid service after service, and they always come. back for more. I'd be talking to him. I'm like, so what went, whoa? The guy started off good for me. He won his first seven out of eight games. Then he told me about a big game

about a couple of players that got food poisoning and fighting with the girlfriend, and one did cocaine last night, so this game's a lot. And I say, and you bet it all? Yeah, I did. Well, whose fucking fault is that, you idiot? You fucking bet everything you made

on one game, so. I've heard it all. This is fucking no different than any other addiction. Worse, actually, because you can wipe out everything that you've made in the whole life in a matter of three hours. Drug addicts, alcoholics, they take time before they kill themselves.

Gamblers are fucking worse than any addict out there. Take that to the bank. Where do these people find you, Danny B? Ooh, in Allentown, 2-66, South 33rd Street. I have two missing out. You can go to Danny Winsfor-you.com, call Danny winsfor-you.com.

check it out. You know, it's pretty simple. I got some podcast up there and a radio show, and I got Big Glue. Before you cut me off, I got Big Lou, Issa. You've never met him, Coco, I don't think.

Have you met Big Blue? No, no, but Joey and you have told me stories about Big Blue. And you know how Big Blue got a whole of me? Because he heard me on this podcast, well, his friend, it's November. I just got done doing one of the church shows. We're talking about how we used to take down the drug dealers with Big Blue. Lou. So I see

his name show up on my caller ID. Well, turns out his buddy's a fan in the Jersey. He hears his name dropping Big Lou. He says, hey, Lou. Some guys have been talking about you robbing drug dealers and stuff. And so it turned out that he called me and we started

reuniting. And he's a boxing promoter. You know, he's out there on Showbox, showtime. He's got a bunch of boxes out there. So, yeah, we've reunited, and he's got some good resources, too. He's Good with the boxing. Very good with boxing,

MMA, and soccer. So, yeah, you'll see a little bio of big glue up there, and it's not much my website called. I keep it simple, bro. I keep it very simple. I will see you in New York, September 26 and 7th. Get ready to eat some fucking edibles, and your eyeballs are going to get ready to go out.

Oh, no, no, no, I won't do it no more. Last time I was paralyzed, it was fucking, I told you. My fucking eyes, I went into a coma. My eyes were bleeding. People from the church were kind of trying to talk to me, and I might get the fuck away from me. I can't see nothing right now.

I love you, Danny B. Wins. I love you, too. Daily, man. I'll hold you in around, my brother. Thanks for having me. Go get them. Everybody out there, man. Thanks for tuning in.

Cokes, thanks for having me. Danny B. wins. Don't fuck around. I love you, cuck, sucker. I love you too, brother. See you soon, pal. Bye-bye. Stay black.

See, so if you're going to start your gambling this year, just get a little coach, a little help. I'm not saying to go overboard if you, but if you want to try it, I offer this to you, so you just, you know, The hypothesis is an educated fucking guess. That's all sports betting is sometimes, an educated guess.

You know what I'm saying? Lee, how cute and stone to you right now? You just say, man. It's okay. I'm stone, but it's mild. Mild. It's a nice high. It's a very nice. Let me give some shoutouts.

We've got to talk about some shit here. My main man, Mike Trez. This is a special shoutout. Sherman Jones for hooking us up with heat. Hit E-Siggs. Luke Denton. I love you, Coxucker. Jesse Fontaine.

Greg Fuentes, Abel, Bernal, and Moses Vasquez. I love your cocksuckers, some shoutouts. You know, I love when we have the late-night guests, you know, I love them. It's a different avidavitability for you people.

I really love that you guys. I get to, Lee and I get to fucking bring different people in here. But they also, people, Daniel, let me up and go, Joe, you haven't given us your take, or Lee's take, on what's been going on. And I really wanted to get this out there today

because my buddy, Dean, Prey that I grew up with who listens to the podcast, call me last week, and we had a good discussion about this, and we'll settle it. Facebook, social media, has been covered with Robin Williams, you know, and the debt to Robin Williams, and it's very sad when anybody dies in any way for them. You know, this is a little sadder because it hits closer home for comedians and people who like movies and entertainment, you know, and the general consensus are that comedians of dark people and they

have this and that, you know, listen, I could sit here and like everybody else, everybody became a fucking authority last week, you know, I could sit here and tell you one thing. I've gone through a lot of little things and I have gotten down on myself and gotten depressed about my situation, but I've done something about it.

I don't know anything about depression. I don't know how it starts. It could be hereditary. You know, I don't know if it's in your genes. I don't know. know, I, whatever it is, my heart pours to you. It's just a different facet of our mind playing tricks. It's a brain fart, you know, we have anxieties, we have fears, you know.

But I will tell you that sometimes when I've had fears, I've been depressed because I haven't overcome them. You know, and that's why I tweeted that stupid thing, that fear is a cousin of depression, you know, so I don't, I didn't want anybody to be mad at me. I know for a fact that starts to trigger in your mind. I really want to Dave Attell a call today. I spoke to him yesterday briefly, and I really wanted to explain the comic mind and the different forms of comedian's minds.

I don't know the mind. I know my mind, and I know my mind works. And I don't get depressed. I do have dark thoughts. And they race in my mind, and they hit so hard that it shatters me for three minutes, and then I have to put it in a wastebasket. There's a waste basket next to me on my left, and I put the shitty thoughts in there.

And I've had to do this. And yes, when I went to the psychotherapist at that time for my anxiety, we discussed the dark thoughts that I have. And I don't want to take medication because I don't want to feed it. When you have a dark thought, you overcome it yourself, at least in my mind, that's what I do. I know I'll get emails from people saying you should go on this pill, you should go on that pill, and that's what I don't want to do. You know, that's what I want to work this shit out myself. And that's what I've always done. You know, this week I was telling Lee that I had a problem with my wife this weekend, whatever, because of my temper with the baby, you know.

I fly for a living, and I fly in the back of the plane, I flown in the front of the plane, and from the ages of one to five, it's very hard to travel with a child, you know. And I get to see the other side of it. I get to see, you know, traveling used to be, flying used to be a great experience, Lee. you ever flew as a child. I had a child, but it still, it was already kind of, I remember we used to have, they would give you silverware, like actual metal for the meals, but that ended quickly. Like, by the time I was a little kid, it was already terrible. But it was always supposed to be a good experience for you.

You're supposed to be excited. And even as an adult, you're supposed to be excited when you fly. When I fly now, it's just a part of doing business. But I don't like it either. And every day you read how there's terrorism and this and that, you know, you can't outdo life. but you could high your percentages by doing certain things or not doing certain things, you know? And I was just very scared that Mercy was going to fly.

You know, that's it. And because of that fear of mercy, it bled over into all my other aspects of life and it made me angry all week and it really did affect me and we worked it out or whatnot. But it's amazing that I was getting dark thoughts. That's why I didn't want Mercy to fly.

You know, I actually saw the terrorists on the plane smacking my child, you know. I see those things in my mind. And that's what happens with me. You know, I don't get thoughts, dark thoughts. You know, my heart goes out to him, how he ended up dying, and I don't know what he was going through. You know, I hope that God has mercy in his hand.

You know, when he touches him, I don't know what happened. But I will know that it was just very sad. Oh, I have people very close to me in my life who, who went through it and it's uh... it's great that you can go through it and not have to take the bills but i know people i know multiple people who've taken it and changed their lives and it's uh i had like three or four people within like two years of me graduating that could committed suicides and it's just uh...

i i i don't want to say depressed because when when people kill themselves from depression like i was just having a bad week or or something but i've had bad thoughts when I've been down, but I've never seriously considered that at all. And it's just, I can't imagine what you must be going through. Fear twists people up. It twists me up.

It twisted me up to the point where I was asking my wife about missing money. Like I thought I was missing money from my checking account. I did you take it? That's how deep the fear took me this weekend. That's what it did to my thoughts. It made me delusional. Oh, wow. So I get it.

I get it, guys. And I've always had those little things when something scares the shit on me. It's like I get crazy. I lose my equilibrium. So the mind works in a fucking weird way, man. The mind works in a weird way. We touched on it the other night,

but there was too many people in the room so I really couldn't pour my heart into it. I'm not the type of person that's going to write something on Facebook, man. I just don't like that shit. You know, I have to write everything on Facebook to let people to see it. My Facebook is to get you people up in the morning to crack a stupid joke and to move on with my life.

I really don't want to start writing sentences in my life experiences of Robin Williams. I just don't like that shit. I know what happened and I don't have to tell nobody. But in the podcast, you have to address it because people are listening. They're going, what the fuck? You know, I know he was a comedian. You don't feel anything. Yeah, I feel something.

I feel scared. I feel scared for myself. You know, for a couple days, it did affect me, you know. Was I great friends with Robin Mums? No, we seen him that one time. Yeah. Down in town, I saw him one night at the improv. I said, hello.

And I saw him a couple times at the store, and I said, hello. I didn't really know him. I didn't really have a conversation with him, you know? Did he intimidate me? No, I just didn't really talk to him. I just didn't. But after what I saw on Twitter and read on Twitter, you know, everybody's a fucking authority. You know, I'm not an authority of anything.

I'm an authority of what I live through. Right. And I don't live through depression. I just live with shitty fuck. And they scared me and they scared me at night. And there's times I have to take my breathing mask off at night and catch my wits and wipe my tears off my eyes or something. But that's what it does to me. I ain't going to kill myself.

So I love you guys and thank you for the concerns and the emails. I answered 90-something emails yesterday. Wow. And a lot of them were talking about that, people with depression, people with, you know, mental anguish, anxiety. You know, it's overwhelming, you know. I had an anxiety-driven, I had an anxiety-driven addiction where if the coat wasn't in my body at a certain time, the anxiety was so overwhelmingly that I'm happy I wouldn't talk to people in that time.

You wouldn't understand me. If I came to you and grabbed you by the shoulders, I would say, Lee, I just need $60. And the more you would say, Joey, I don't have, Lee, I need $60, fucking, okay? And you would see it in my face and finally go, okay, man, calm down. You know, that's the same thing. that's the same thing. It made me crazy. So I'm crazy.

I get it. But I just didn't like how people made a scene. Right. We go back to our fucking rooms and cry and we're monsters inside. And that's not the fact. I go to dinner all the time with comics afterward and they're fucking fine. You know, and that's part of it. Right.

That's part of it. To do this, to do this career, people, think about it. You've got to be fucking crazy. You've got to be fucking crazy. But then again, to be a doctor, you have to be crazy. To do what Paula does, you have to be fucking crazy. You know, when somebody tells you they're going to law school, you look at them and go, uh-huh.

Do you know you're getting yourself into it? When somebody tells you that pre-med, you know, what makes a fucking motherfucker look at his family and go, hey, mom, I know I got a degree in fucking political science. But guess what? I'm going to choose the life of a fucking comedian. I'm going to go broke for four fucking years and live like a peasant and crack you.

jokes and make people laugh. And somewhere in my mind I'm going to believe that I'm going to become fucking famous doing this shit or I'm going to become successful doing this shit. Because there's one thing doing comedy and there's another thing making a living off a fucking comedy. These are the things you talk yourself into. So now you look at the list of comedians. How many comedians are? What's the population of the United States?

I don't know. What do we got? 10,000 comedians if we're fucking lucky. Those are all crazy fucking people. How many people do you think are around that do what you do and travel to, like, the good comedy clubs every week? A lot, you know, like 300 comedians to travel. You know, you've got to figure there's 500 comedy clubs,

another fucking 3, 400 venues, or weekends. There's a lot of comics working. There's a lot of ships. There's a lot of things going on for comedians, you know? And just to get into that, just to get into that career, there's got to be something wrong with you. And for some people, they need attention, and for some people, it's an outlet, and for some people, it's therapy. You know, it's your own personal fucking Jesus.

It's your own personal Jesus for what you wanted to be. For me, for me, it was my last escape. I did not know I would be here 20 years later. I never anticipated being in California. For me, I would have been happy just staying locally. We discussed this the other day on the podcast Wednesday night with the musicians. We discussed how I thought I could just get a job and do comedy as an outlet.

I never thought I would do anything greater than that or anything more than that. But because of comedy, this is where I ended up, and I took it, I accepted it. I opened up my heart and I fucking accepted it. So that's the mold of fucking story. You got to be crazy to do this. Okay?

I don't know why people made, you know, I understand we lost their great talent last week. But it's amazing how all these fucking people came out of the woodwork with their own things about the human mind. And they have no fucking idea. All of a sudden, we didn't know he was crazy. Look at early Robin Williams. Fucking early, early, a catch-a-rising star.

Those performances. He was fucking nuts. Yeah. You know, I bumped into him in 1985. This is a true story. I bumped into him in Snowmass Village at the mall there. We used to be a store. He used to be Commander Video.

And he would come in there. And one day he came in, and I saw him. And as soon as he walked in, guys, I smelled him. I don't know. He smelled like B.O. That's when he was doing blow. And he wouldn't sign Moscow on the Hudson for me. I asked him because he signed Moscow on the Hudson.

He said no, and he ran out of there. And it shocked me, you know. But I could tell then there was something, you know, something. I'm going to mix him, something. So let's kill this subject right now. I mean, my heart just goes out to him. I just think it's like kind of how we were talking about how people are negative about the Ice Bucket Challenge that some people are like,

oh, well, why do we care that this comedian killed himself and there's people who do it every day? I think hopefully what will happen is that just because everyone loves Robin Williams, is that hopefully someone who was getting close to that will get help. But yeah, you're right. I mean,

it's not every comedian. It helps one fucking person. Yeah. If it helps one fucking person, then it was great that it was brought to light. A lot of people sit at home and don't know what's happening to them. A lot of people, whether it's sleep

bat in there, whether it's depression creeping up on them, they don't know what's happening to them, they just think they're having a bad day and they're going to come out of this fog in a week. They really don't. People don't know what they're walking into every fucking morning guy. So my heart goes out to you if you have depression or you feel something, you know, fuck the money. Go get out, you know, whatever, call somebody, talk to people, you know. That's the number one thing. I had a friend that had the beginnings of it and I would talk to him. And even me, as crazy as I was, I never tiptoed around it, but I never was really full-tilt Joey Diaz.

Because full-tilt Joey Diaz will work with you three or four times, and then after that he'll grab you by the shirt and tell you not what's wrong with you, but all the good things that are going on in your life. And this is why you have to overcome this, because you do have all these good things. That depression just tells you all the bad things in your life. I'm going to come in and grab you by the fucking neck

and tell you you're a bad motherfucker, and that you have one bad thing. So take care of it, because if you don't take care of it, it'll bleed into all your other good things. Like the Coke addiction I had. It's no different. All these things, you don't think they affect you, but they bleed into every single avenue of your life.

When you're a carpenter, if you look up and hit your fucking nail with the thing, it affects you. It affects you with every single way. It also affects you when you go out. You know, what do we know what these cops are going through? Did you ever think of that? So before I judge anybody on this situation, whether it's Ferguson, I always think about what were they going through the minute before this happened.

That cop from Ferguson, that he just come from a domestic violence dispute where the guy had a knife, that he just see somebody. You understand, bro? There's so many variables. You know, when they did that colonoscopy and they put me out, they said to me, they made somebody come and drive. Could I drive home? Fuck, yeah, I could drive home.

but they made somebody come and dry because they said you might make bad judgments. The day I kidnapped Vela, who called here the other day while we were doing a podcast, I had done one of those things. I could have fought it in court and said that, hey, I was put out, I couldn't make a choice.

Listen, let's face it. I fucking kidnapped that kid and took those drugs. I knew exactly what I was doing. Yeah. The point being is that... I don't even know what the fucking point being is. The point being is that it's Monday, August 18th. All right?

And it starts all over again today. So what? You drank over the weekend. It starts today. So what? You smoked the cigarette over the weekend. I ate today. So what? You ate 15 taco bells. It all starts all over today. That's the beautiful thing about fucking Monday mornings. Let me give a fucking shout out to my sponsors here. As usual, one of my favorites. In fact, I was thinking about how I'm going to take two shroom texts today to go to Jiu-Jitsu. Onit.com. Onit just sent me some strong bone. Right after my surgery, I will be on Onet's strong bone all over again. I got two things.

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How do you like to watch Huluplus.com? They got niche programming. They got Criterion Collection. They got animation. They got kids. They got original. You can watch Huluplus.com anywhere, anytime. And it's only $7.99 a month.

They got current episodes that you can watch the shows on your schedule. You can watch shows on everything. Any streaming device that you have. Smart TV, Roku, Apple TV, computer. And today only, today only, two weeks for free, $8.99 a month, all right? $7.99. Whatever. That's how I roll.

$7.99 a month, two weeks free. Who gives you that? Who gives you that type of excitement? When you go to your fucking haircut, does he cut your hair to do for two weeks? And then charges you? No. But that's what we're doing today.

If you get Hulu Plus off the fucking TV, it's $7.99 a month. Here at the church, we give you. two weeks for free. Two weeks for free. I don't give a fuck if you watch everything and tell Hulu Plus to suck your dick. You're going to be going to go fuck this isn't that bad. What do they got to do, Lee? They press Joey or just go to Joey D.S. 9 and click on the bag. That's it. Give me your credit card. Two weeks for free, $7.99 a month.

Another one of my fucking all-time favorites. Dollar Shave Club. What the fuck do you need a razor for with a flashlight and a hood and a thinking cap and a finger up your ass? All you need are two blades to cut you that is sharp. Precisely they fucking shave you. One pulls the hair. the other one cuts it.

Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with Joy Bananas? Why are you going to go stand online with the rest of these mutts at some pharmacy looking around and pay $20 for a razor? No more. No more. Right? Let me get a water. I've got cotton mouth from that candy. Thank you, Lee. That's why I only took two waters today.

I'm over here dehydrated. That's why you go to fucking Dollar Shave Club right now. First of all, what do I do with Huluplus? Huluplus.com slash Joey, and Dollar Shave Club is dollarshaveclub.com. You get raises for $1, $6, or $9.000. $9 a month. Right. Sent right to your fucking door. Not only that, they got pre-shaved, they got the fucking cocoa butter, they got the fucking one-white charlies. They're not fucking around down at Dollar Shave Club. So do yourself a favor. Go to Dollar Shave Club, get the razors delivered right to your fucking door. Boom, you open them up. You get an email and they tell you when they're gonna fucking deliver them. One dollar, you get four fucking blades sent to your month. For $6, you get four double blades. And for $9, you get the double blades with the

fucking arrow strip. Your face is nice and smooth. Not only that, you can shave your pussy, you can shave your asshole, you can shave your fucking cat's asshole. I don't give a fuck. It's a tremendous razor. Go to dollar shave club.com and press. Church. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H. In the fucking box and get your dollar shave club today. Also, I like to welcome my main motherfuckers. Hit e-sigs.com. The proof is in the fucking sig. You understand me? 12,000 fucking puffs 1200 puffs for fucking cigar

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who's better than you? Who's fucking better than you, League? Cucketuck? Nobody. Nobody. That's right. That's right. So anyway, what's up, Lee? Nothing. I'm stone. What's going on? Something happened this week. That really, this, uh, yesterday, I was sitting there. I was feeding the cats and I was just thinking, I was watching the UFC. You know, and they added a Josh Kotzeck to the show and he was pretty funny. He took his tooth out. I watch all that stuff. You know, I'm an idiot. And it's, it's funny that I, I, I, in a way, I was like, uh, where's chale? You know, because jail used to do that with those guys and he's gone and something over the week I went I

watched a metamorphorist last week when he got submitted and I read shit about jail you know what I realized something about jail I was like I don't like this fucking guy anymore like I just have no use for him at him anymore there was a time when I liked them I and then I started feeling bad for chale and then I started realizing that the reason why I didn't like jail how old is chale son and I know the reason why I was mad at chale sonning is because of of a fucking, you know, listen, man, I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. My voice irritates me. He's 37.

There's a lot of things that irritate me about me. The addiction, when I used to get high, I'd look at myself in the mirror, and I poke my face. That's why I had these scars. The thing I hated about, the quality I hated the most about myself, that I didn't even know I was doing. And I see it all the time. And a couple weeks when I came in here one morning, I was having a conversation with Lee. And Lee said some to me, and I didn't get mad at Lid. Lee for what he wasn't doing.

I got mad at Lee for saying it how he did, and I went off on Lee, and Lee was mad at me for a few days. And then we talked, and it's so weird when people don't claim responsibility, Lee. It destroys me because you're not living to your fullest.

If you remove that thing from your life, oh my God, your life gets so much better. If people had to ask me one thing that helped me the most was that I went up in front of that judge and he told me I didn't claim responsibility and while I sat in that cell yeah I had a good time and don't do it and I laughed but I thought about that line the whole time

and not claim responsibility and it was so me I remember going in front of I remember bumping into the district attorney at the supermarket and Boulder and I was talking to me and he looked at me and he was Joey we have an investigator we checked you've been chucking and jive in all your fucking life and making people laugh through everything and they forget oh it's just Joey you gotta pay your dues. You gotta do this, man. You gotta come fucking clean. And I would sit there and go,

you're not supposed to come clean, you know? You're supposed to, no, no, no. Especially when people trying to help you, you know. And that was the thing that bothered me the most about jail that he wasn't up to par with his mouth. You know, when he fought a Henderson, when he fought John Jones, it was always his mouth that got him the fucking fight,

but then when he get there, he got the same result over and over, which is the same thing the DA told me when he said, I was chucking and jiving. That's what I was doing. I was chucking and jiving through my life. And then when I didn't, instead of just going, you know what, I mean, after the second time they caught him, he's still talking about that his kids,

he wanted to get his wife pregnant, and that's why he did him. And I sat there heartbroken because you'll never grow as a human being. And I know Chale. I know that he came clean last week. But you know what? And his heart, he never came clean. And that was the biggest thing that I overcame in my life.

Forget the fucking, forget the fucking Coke and the fucking being a piece of shit criminal and the shalplifting and the fucking lying and everything I was doing when I was in a young age. Everything changed because I looked at my perspective of claiming responsibility. And you guys, you sit there going, fuck, we're turning this shit off.

Joey's going on that rant about claiming responsibility because everybody wants to move forward. But for me, that was the, biggest fucking hurdle and once I overcame it the world opened up forget about cleaning up on the drugs forget it because even if I would have cleaned up on the drugs leave I would still not come clean with myself about the things I'm doing you know and well it's easy it's like even I'm sure you have points right now like maybe what happened over the weekend where you were like oh I

should have just told my wife earlier or I don't know in what way but sometimes even when I try to it's easy sometimes to blame other people and if feels good because then you're not blaming yourself but then when like when you look back you're like oh I should have just done that and oh my god it's such a it's such a you know what it's such a fucking I don't like people

saying something to me I would hate I hate when somebody says really do me that favor pick up that piece of paper you know you ought to pick it up for five fucking days you know you had to go pick up that suit and the dry cleaners we all know we got to do shit and it's like it destroyed and then when you

tell me the reason why you didn't do it I do the same. You know, I do the same in my mind. But then I go, you know what? Fuck everything. Now I got to get my car in traffic and pay my dues for not going. You know, that's how I beat. You know, and it's just so many different fucking things.

You know, the gym for me. Like right now I'm talking to you, but 10 minutes ago, when Danny, I was thinking about how I'm going to work out today. I have so many different things. Do I have time to zip into Wilshire, do the workout and zip back? I really don't today. So that means I've got to run home, do paperwork, right a little bit, and then go to the park and work out.

That's important to me. But it's amazing how when I would go on the road, I would never work out and give myself excuses. I'd have a fucked up gym. You can still put sneakers on and walk. Yeah. You can still put sneakers on and walk. Well, I'm too, I don't have money for a gym.

You can still put sneakers on and walk. Like, there's always an answer. There's always a fucking answer, you know? And that's it. I hope that Chale overcomes this. I overcame it at 26. And I think I fucked around with it for about another year. and then I got it and I moved on.

And I got to tell you, it really helped me. And some people might say, oh, well, Joey, sometimes in your actions, you're kind of negative because you have to know yourself. You have to know yourself and what limitations you have and what. Now, I want to try something that I'm not going to fucking like. I try everything, I practice everything I preach here. You know, I practice fucking getting up early.

I practice fucking doing something every day. All we need in this life is to be 1% better every fucking day. every day when I wake up, I'm like, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to be a little better than what I was yesterday. I'm going to say fuck one last time. I'm going to say fuck one less time. I'm going to say shit one less time. I'm going to, you know, it's just so many fucking things.

And we'll leave with that. We'll be back Wednesday fucking night, you savages. 8 o'clock. We got a great guest coming in. Don't worry about nothing. You know, we always take care of you. What's with the questions? What's with the questions, cock sucker?

So, Jay, I love you. Robin Williams, my heart goes out to you. I hope you motherfuckers had a great podcast. I know I had a great time. It was fun. You know, you have no shows coming out? I got do guts.

I got Joey Diaz.net. Go on there. Look at the dates. I got coming up. Go get yourself a ghee patch. I'm finishing up with these mugs and these ghee patches and this shirt. And I'm moving on.

I'm moving on. I'm getting a hoodie sweatshirt for the winter. We're going to get you some new fucking cool shit. So go there now. Oh, if anyone works with leather, I'm trying to do something with leather. So if you tweet me,

then I appreciate it. And that's it, cocksucker. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. I want to give a shout out to Onit, Huluplus.com, Dollar Shade Club, and HiddySigs.com. All right. As far as you, cock suckers are concerned,

have a great day, have a great week, and stay black. Now that the show's over, don't forget the sign of your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus let you binge on thousands of it shows. Anytime, anywhere, or on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to Joey Diaz.net and click on the Hulu Plus banner.

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