The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #205 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Monday, October 17th… This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by DraftKings, CBD Lion & Heart & Soil… DRAFTKINGS Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using code JOEY. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms.   HEART & SOIL Go to https://heartandsoil.co/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=linkinbio&utm_campaign=Diaz & use code JOEY10 for 10% off your first order.    CBD Lion Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order!   Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #DraftKings #CBDLion #HeartAndSoil   The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast   Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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We ain't got time to play games What's happening you beautiful motherfuckers It's Monday to 17th of October We're moving right along Christmas shit is out at the stores You know People threatening blizzards and whatnot But it's a beautiful fucking week

It's mid fucking month And we're ready to go One two three Interesting week last week Kanye went off the fucking wagon Whatever the fuck medication They had that cock sucker on He abandoned ship on that motherfucker guys

He's talking stuff about Jews They're concerned The Jewish League ripped out Fucking the bank threw them out When the bank throws you out We got a fucking problem Especially when you got a 165 million Gazillion dollars in that bitch

You understand me They told him you got to go for your fucking comments. And it's funny because, guys, listen, Kanye West is a brilliant artist, you know, and whatever he does, Donda and all that shit. And he's got a great story with the broken jaw and everything. But, you know, man, you could tell about 10 years ago, I think he did a show in like Oakland, where he went off on the audience.

And right there, you knew there was a problem. Listen, guys, when somebody has a fucking great time, Like just a great talent. It's an aptitude for creativity. Somewhere along the line, they're going to lack stuff. Somewhere, whether it's social grace, whether it's social cues, it just makes sense. I'll give you 10 fucking people that are brilliant geniuses, but they can't put it all together. Sting is a brilliant fucking genius.

Have you ever seen them get interviewed? you want to hate yourself in the fucking head. He shows up with a ukulele and wants to come on, Sting. Just because your little buddies at the vineyard told you that was great, don't take it to fucking heart. His genius, though, was so fucking brilliant. Listen to those fucking early police albums. Some of that shit, you listen to it and you're like,

this is sharp shit. I saw the police like in 83, 84. And it was amazing. I was a fan of their music, but it was one of those. bands where I liked a lot of the people. I liked Stuart Copeland.

I think the bass player is a bad motherfucker. I love Sting, but something about Sting just used to bother me. And then one day he showed his true colors and he fucking broke up to one of the girls, it's a great band.

You know, number two, Roger Waters. Let's talk about that fucking guy. He's pulling a Kanye episode right now, Roger Waters. They're doing the same thing. Go to Roger Waters' show. Look at the albums he's put out.

There's no arguing with nobody that that dude is a fucking genius. That dude is a fucking genius. But you need a tamer. It's like if I get five guys from the Rucker League, one of the best basketball courts in the country in New York, said, I don't know if it's still there. And I put him in the NBA. They're going to go 50-50.

They're wild, they're slam dunking, they're stealing, they're popping, but they're not playing fundamental basketball. So I got to put a dude in there, a white dude, a 5'10 white dude to slow it down a little bit, and let's think this shit out. No disrespect to nobody watching. But fucking, you know, not to take away, Roger Waters says some crazy shit, and he attacks crazy people in Israel and the whole fucking deal. You know, you go watch the show. You know, when you walk in, it's like fuck Bing Floyd and all this stuff. Fuck Dave Gilmore. You know, but listen, the genius is undeniable.

It's un-fucking-deniable. You know, you guys see your geniuses that you like. The fucking dude from Apple. Gates, whatever the fuck his name is. Bill Gates, whatever the fuck he is. Apple, you know me, I'm not co-corporate America. But Bill Gates, he's got fucking $82 billion. You could see, he looks like a half of fucking retard from time to time.

Him and his wife sit there like, ha, ha, you know, that's what happens when you get, you're such a genius that you go fucking mad guys. And that's what's going on with Kanye West. And I'm not making excuses from, I never, guys, you never hear me talking about Kanye. But this is from what I see. I see this as he started this shit years ago. Then he go to Wyoming and Dave Chappelle had to go talk him off the cliff from Wyoming and all this shit. His genius is unparalleled.

The people around them have not, when you have somebody like that, it's very, you know, everybody always goes, well, why don't he have people around them? It's said, listen, that type of genius, that type of attitude, that type of bravado, nobody's going to tell you to tame it down. And when you look at that stuff, you look at it and go. Maybe he's saying that shit to just get attention. That's the other side of a complete fucking genius. Madonna used to be a genius. Now, I don't know what she's doing. You know, the other day, she came out, her pussy.

You're 60 years old. You look like a small fucking Japanese lady now. I don't know what kind of, I don't know where she got her plastic surgery. A fucking Yoko Ono surgery clinic. I don't know who the fuck did the surgery on her. But I'm not taking nothing from her. When Madonna was cooking with gas, she was cooking with gas. Madonna pulled one of the great, listen,

there's two people who have pulled the great fucking wool over your eyes. Maybe three. Number one, Britney Spears. I love it a debt. That bitch could shake, but she can't say. But millions of people go to her shows. Madonna, Madonna's voice went on the second fucking album. You know, I love, the dog, and I love Madonna, everybody.

I love all that shit. There's some fucking Madonna shit that you love. Listen to now and you go, God damn. Madonna in the 90s was on fire. Deeper and deeper and deeper. Those jams were on fucking fire with the black guy popping the balloon in the video. Fucking tremendous. I love that.

I love all that shit. But that genius also becomes their handicap in a way. You know, they're just so fucking smart. Like, those dudes can't do an edible. An edible wouldn't do anything to Roger Waters. I'll give fucking Kanye West 2,000 milligrams of eight. BX capsules, and that motherfucker will stand there. They don't do nothing to those people.

I've seen it. I've seen it. So, you know, if you're Jewish, I'm sorry for his comments. I'm sorry, I'm even giving this guy light. You know how much I love the Jews, but give him a fucking break. And then he's gone through the Kardashians. Didn't they fucking make one guy turn into a woman?

Something is fucked up there. The retarded white kid, he went off the deep. The husband to the chubby chick Fucking was puking with foam in his mouth The basketball player You know There's some about that too Some about that fucking devil house

Because that's got to be the devil's house That's where the devil goes to fucking Summer vacation is the Kardashians house Something these people They keep giving them money And they keep wrecking these poor fucking guys That dude Kissick, whatever his fucking name is

That used to be married to the cute sister because there's the chubby one, Kim, and then there's the older one that's dating the tattoo now. They're always swapping spit. Her ex-husband, he fucking went off the deep end. This guy is jumping up and down on a yacht with a scarf on. He got really fucking retarded, but that's enough about fucking Kanye West and whatever.

I just see it for what it is. I wouldn't pay. If Kanye West attack Cubans or anybody else, I wouldn't. I take it with a fucking grain of salt. I woke up to something that he was doing a podcast, talking about that the dude died from Fetano, and the cops weren't stepping on his neck.

George Floyd. He's going off this morning about that's what I woke up to. Like I did what I did. We had breakfast. I came down. I took a shower. I opened the computer. And there was a video right there front and center of Kanye.

And I'm like, oh no, he did. Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, yes, he did. He said that this dude died of fentanyl, that he watched a documentary about George Floyd. I don't even know a documentary existed. I'm going to have to go on Amazon Prime until I see what's cooking.

You know what I'm saying? And now it was kind of disturbing, but again, I looked at and go, ah, that's just cognate. You know what I'm saying? Like, just, I don't know what he's going to do. I don't know what this week's going to be interesting. Monday morning is going to be.

be interesting. I have not checked to see what's going on with him today, but it's mental health, guys. The pandemic didn't hurt. That living in California with people telling you you're fucking great. It just, it either breaks you or it changes you so badly that I spoke to a friend of mine in California. Well-known actor. It hasn't worked really in about six years. Still drives a Ranger, gave a podcast a shot. And the other day, he called me to ask what was going on,

you know, have I been on any auditions? And he's my age, you know, he's 60, 61. And he was asking me, you know,

what I thought, what's going on? I told him, you know, I didn't want to tell him, but I met with De Niro or when I, the auditions I had.

I told him I had a few auditions. I didn't want him to feel bad, you know? You know, that little fucking dream. He's got a grandchild. He's got a son. You know, he's got so much opportunity,

especially like with podcasting. He's a big-time sports guy. He called the other day with going back and forth, and while I'm talking to him, he's telling me about, you know, and I don't interfere guys. I'd love to, but I can't. I give it a couple days.

I think about how I should attack it, and then I'm going to call him back this week. You know, this guy has been getting beat up for the last seven years. I mean, and he's a sweetheart of a guy. Never says boo. You know, I just watched one of his movies the other day. You know, the movie business changed. He was a TV guy.

He was a big-time TV guy, and that was 20 years ago the show ended. So he popped a few movies here and there. I met him on, like, a simple pilot, and then we clicked, and we became friends, and now we've been friends for 20 years. You know, he never came on. the podcast, nothing like that. You know, his kids are grown up. He's in L.A.

still fighting that life, which I admire the fuck out of anybody. He just got money put away, you know. He gets a pension from SAG. So the other day he called, and I could tell he's down, you know. He's like, nothing's flying my way. The auditions. He's not good with home auditions. You know, people, everything has changed, guys.

And when I got out of the phone with him, him like I felt bad but at the same time I could help this dude how can I help him like how can I help this dude so for the last three days I've been thinking about how I'm going to call this dude and tell him listen man get rid of the range rover get rid of your wife's Mercedes or whatever the fuck they drive you know you got a gorgeous house it's paid for you have equity in the home what the fuck are you doing even Marky warburg left California Marky Warburg resettled in Vegas, and he's one of the biggest fucking stars on the map. California just doesn't work for you.

He's got kids. It's time for him to get that money. You could still live your dream, but get the fuck out of there. Take that weight off your shoulders. Just the game you're playing to keep up appearances. Takes work. That wears on you. And unlike me, I don't give you.

will fuck about the Joneses. I don't give a fuck what they think. I got to switch it with a stain on it. I don't give a fuck. He's one of those guys that goes to premieres and, you know, he still works that angle. And it's like, I'm the type of guy if I'm not in that movie, I'm not showing up to that fucking premiere. What am I going to go do?

Hi, it came to support. No, you didn't. You came to get a free fucking meal. Stop with the support. Everybody always supports. You came to see what you could get out of this. So with him, he's trying to, you know, PR himself back. We discussed a podcast 20 times.

Every time his wife wanted him to do it this way. You know, well, I spoke to my wife. Your wife is a fucking, she makes sweaters for a living. What the fuck? No, well, she was. Okay. So now he's in a rock and a hard place, you know. No money's coming in.

You know, no money's coming in. He broke into his retirement two years ago. He collected his sack pension. And, you know, there's only one answer. And it's like, listen. sell the fucking house. Get rid of those cars. Light them on fire.

Light the Range Rover on fire. Light the fucking Mercedes on fire. And go get yourself a $300,000 house in Tennessee. You could still put your auditions on tape. Your dream is still alive. But for you to be out there still banging out with these guys with white hair, it's getting old. It's time for you to take that money and go have a great time with your wife.

I love my daughter. I fucking love my daughter. But if my daughter was 18 in college, me and my wife would be fucking outy every weekend. I swear to God, she would get a job at Costco or some shit. I'd get something going on. I'd sell some weed,

whatever the fuck I had to do. And on the weekends, I'd just go to Red Bank and hold hands. That's what old people do. You know what I'm saying? That's what you do with your wife. You do simple fucking things. You stay active so you don't have to be

in the fucking doctor's office. I have, what happened to me was, bro, I got a new, my whole, you know, like they have vaginal rejuvenations and all that shit. I got a fucking soul rejuvenation. When I moved here, I looked around, I saw what I was doing, I saw what everybody else was doing, and it just wasn't working for me. I forgot, I never forgot that who I was and where I was in this situation. So now I see that it works for me, and I see that it's worked for other people, people who have

gotten out. I just said, you know what, we're still going to be comedians. You're not going to stop being a comic. You're not going to stop being an actor. You can write in a fucking closet in Moscow. Think about it. But if you're out, I'm trying to save this guy $100,000 a year. And stress.

It's not worth it. It's not, you know, it's just not worth it. And I'm not saying you're over. What I'm saying is that you can move to Tennessee, Michigan, Texas, wherever the fuck you want. and you could still work your magic. You could do a podcast, you could do Instagram video, whatever the fuck you want. It's not necessary to be in that rap race,

get stuck in traffic. Listen, across the country since we've had this pandemic, nobody's seeing you for auditions. I went to an audition last week, a live one, and I had to take a COVID test. But here's the funny thing. When I was waiting to go upstairs, I was talking to the other actors in the room,

and I brought to their attention that, hey, guys, we have a man. men in an in-person audition in three years. And they all looked at me and they were like, I know. We didn't know how to act. It was completely different. Like what I did last week, fuck, I hadn't done it in three goddamn years. Even to take an audition to that death where you have sides.

And it was way before that where I went to an audition. The Sopranos, I got on a tape because that's the business that it's become. But anyway, I'm going to congratulate Chris Comozy for getting this fucking knockout win. He got like a knockout. He's one of the guests, the guy that used to send the fit soda. Great product. He got a fucking knockout and bare knuckles. And I want to talk to you guys about something that I caught a lot of heat over.

And I'm happy the door opened again because I made a statement and I got fucking hate mail. But I didn't give a fuck because I stood behind my statements. Okay. When you was shooting a movie? You're shooting a movie with, there's 20 actors and there's 40 key grips, you know, people who work on the set. When you shoot a TV show, there's even more, okay? If Mike and I were talking about residuals before, and I showed my residuals on SAG, how they get printed every Sunday, and it tells you the date of when they're going to get sent out, and you expect to check like three days after that.

but it also tells you the amount that you're getting and what you're getting it for. And I was telling Mike that if you look at my checklist, there's a check for four cents that's coming tomorrow. There's a check for 364. There was like seven checks coming, not one check over $30 all the way. And trust me, guys, there was one check for $30.

And the rest of them were like, you know, $3, shit like that. then there's one check for 150. How weird is this business? I get, you know, from like 1997, 1998, 2003, like Mad TV's not playing, but somebody's putting it into a DVD case and selling it. So they'll send me 18 cents. And I'll get a check for 18 cents.

Now, 20 years ago, I would take those 18 cents when I was snorting Coke and I go, I'm doing back, you know, I'm ripping this up because I didn't have a bank account. I would cast my check out of check cash place slash liquor store so right uh i fucking uh you know you don't you get these little checks and stuff but these these productions i did with 15 years ago so somebody's playing them china australia every once in a while you get a red check you get a red envelope you sag it's not on that

sheet that comes in and it's a red envelope and that means it's international so you get the check You get the check from England, whatever. And you open those like, oh shit, here's the fucking King Mary, and it's like $9. You know, so. But one of the checks for 159 is from a show called How I Met Your Mother, that they hired me. I was wrong for it. They hired me because I blew up the audition. And then when I got there, I wasn't right.

So they pretty much used me as an extra. That show sends me a check every 90 day. for $159. Since the beginning. And I don't know how long, when I shot that, I have no idea. It's got to be over 10 years ago.

Yeah, got to be, that thing spits out dough. I got this fucking two men in the baby. What's that show? You know, with Charlie Sheen and the other guy. Two and a half men. I'll never forget getting the call for two and a half men.

There's a listen. Two and a half men wants to hire you for the Christmas special. you got to sing and all this shit. And I'm like, I don't know about singing. They go, well, this is what they're going to pay. And I was like, dog, I'll spray some mystery in my fucking eyeballs right now to get this fucking singing code. So if you watch this episode, it's not Charlie Sheen, it's.

Ashton Coochard? Yeah, Ashton Coucher's episode. And I have to, I'm with the two Italians, three, the two other Italians up the corner. One of them got a bat and we got a sing, whatever. It was brutal. It was brutal. days to shoot. Yeah, yeah, it's play, play it all the time. That

fucking episode has given me so much fucking cash over the year. And I'm not talking about 40,000 a check. Like, guys, like 300 every time they send a check. So they send a check four times a year. That's $1,200. That's gasoline money. That's gasoline money.

You know, you're not going to get, I've told you guys in this business, you're not going to get rich off one thing, but if you got 20 things going on and you add all those things up, you're still not going to get rich, but it's not bad. If, you know, when you add 200, 600, 450, you know, at the end of the month, you're like, that's not a bad fucking living.

I didn't make $2 million. But, hey, you know, I'm shopping. I'm eating fucking clams. Everything is good. But my point being that I shot, if you go on my MDB, I did 63 credits. 63 TV, you know, and movies. And that doesn't count the short film. and all this shit.

And you have sets, guys. And you, after the first day, everybody's nice, second day everybody's nice, third day, everybody starts showing their colors. And after four days, people start telling stories about this guy. Did you ever work with Mike? Yeah, I worked with Mike, sweetheart of a guy. Did you ever work with this guy?

Did you hear the story when I work with this guy? Holy shit. At lunchtime, he went and shot heroin, and he came back and they couldn't shoot production. You hear that? And you're like, wow, that's crazy. I'm talking about some crazy fucking Cuban dude. There was a show called Kingpin.

And at lunchtime, he went and shot heroin. They never showed back up. They fired him off the show. But you keep hearing these little things, you know. You hear things about Tom Cruise, never negative. You know, I've just heard little, though, he works like a dog and all that stuff. You hear little things about Cameron Diaz. When you work for Cameron Diaz on Friday, you rap, and she takes everybody to a location.

in Miami Beach, Washington, D.C. You know, there's some cool motherfuckers out there. Adam Sandler, I've never heard a bad story about it. That was around that motherfucker for a year. And that dude was solid. He got more solid every day. But you just, you know, and you have to think, what are people saying about me?

You know, oh, he came on a set one time and threatened the fucking director. He came on a set and stole all the roller skates from basketball. You know, there's a thousand little things like that. I never got into a few. fist fight or nothing like that. I never got fucking blasted on a set or nothing like that.

If not, I wouldn't be working. But there were situations that were low end. And people probably just said, you know what, he was having a bad... I remember one time I had an argument one of my best friends on the set because he put me in a room with no windows. And I sat there fucking reading,

reading a stupid book, and the claustrophobia got to me, and I went on the set and I had fucking anxiety. But anyway, it don't matter. I've always been a gentleman. I've always showed up time I did have a beef with the producer from the longest yard and he made me go to the doctor

to tell me that I had to stop snort and coke and all this shit yeah tremendous so that you have those stories but listen the longest yard stories even though they were crazy peter seagull hired me for grudge match and he referred me for a different job so it couldn't have been that crazy so that's my point I've never had a big issue on a set like that but when you get And such, you talk about different actors. Now, I did a movie called Analyze Dat with De Niro and Anthony Lumpaglia. There was some cool motherfuckers on that set. And one of my all-time favorite heroes, the guy who wrote stripes and all that shit.

I forget what his name is. And that's the first time I heard something negative about Murray. Bill Murray, yeah. A couple months ago, he did something, and I came on. and I told you how I felt about Bill Murray and people were fucking pissed. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

People were making fucked up comments on YouTube and all this shit and somebody said to me, you say something about Bill Mary fucking people. Listen man, I spoke, I didn't speak from a personal experience, but I spoke from 20 different people.

Not two, not three, not four. I can tell you 20 sets out was on. Somebody said to me, dog, I worked with Bill Marion. Somebody was telling me a story about St. Vincent,

the one he did with the chubby chick and shit. The chubby chick didn't like him. I mean, it was just, it just, I just kept hearing this. I never even knew about the Lucy Lou. I never knew about the Seth Green. I never knew that he fucking threw

Seth Green in a garbage can. I never even knew. Yeah, that came out last week. I never knew that he hated the staff for Saturday Night Live. that he hated Adam Sandler He fucking hated Chris Farley He was just fucking a prick

And they were like saying that Yeah they were saying You know what He's very nice to his fans But he's a douchebag The people on the set I was never talking out of line I was never talking out of line

Let's get something straight One of my top 10 movies Is motherfucking Caddy Shack One of my other movies is fucking Strike I like them as much as you guys But somewhere along the line guys When I got into comedy, I just started hearing shit.

The same way, the reason I don't like Cosby, I started hearing shit about Cosby when I got into comedy. I just started hearing little things. When I saw him, in 1995, there was the Colorado Comedy Festival, and Cosby performed in Colorado Springs. And I went down there as a fanboy, comedian, open micer to see what all the fuss was about, because I did like one of the specials.

And I'll never forget this. I walked in on, you know, first of all, I don't even know who I was with. I couldn't even tell you. But there was like a green room, and then there was like a big receptionary. It was a comedy thing, and somebody gave me their pass. I wasn't even, nobody knew what the fuck I was. Nobody talked to me. I was just, yeah, he's a comic.

Leave him alone. He's fucking stiff. He did some time, whatever. And I went to this thing, and I never forget, I got maybe 15 feet. from Cosby and he was complaining. He was complaining about somebody's sex joke.

Somebody in New York like Cosby was part of something he had to come out and as he was walking he heard somebody say something that wasn't you know, it was just off color and he complained about him

and then he went into a whole diatribe with the producer of the play and everybody else about dirty comedy and he started bad mouth and that Murphy right there. Like this is why I don't perform. This is why I turned down Harlem Night.

Just a bunch of stupid shit he was saying. And I was like, God damn it. I wanted to like him. Because he did a joke on one of his specials that I thought was brilliant about Buckbop. You know, and I didn't know anything about comedy. I watched Bill Cosby. You know, I used to watch Fat Albert as a kid.

I liked Bill Cosby for about a week. And then I bumped into a man by the name of Richard Pry and Cosby could suck my dick. And then, like, I always heard he had this beef with Eddie Murphy. Like, he took Eddie Murphy aside and you got to wear a clean. Eddie Murphy told him to suck his dick. But I just heard shitty things about him. I'd love to tell you that I heard that he fucking roofied somebody

and took him back to him trailer and fucking game pudding. Whatever. I'd love to tell you that. I'd love to tell you that, but I never heard that. I never really heard that. I didn't hear about that to you people started hearing about it. I just heard about his, and I still remember in 87 when he fucking made the chick Lenny Kravitz's wife. He made, what's her name?

Lisa Bonnet. He fired her because she had a sex scene, an angel heart. Nobody remembered that. Nobody remembered. That's how much of a fucking hypocrite that motherfucker was. And I just heard different things about his attitude, and I never really wanted to work with him. But Bill Murray was the same, guys. I'm not here making shit up.

I'm here fucking listening to what people say to me. And then somebody says on the internet and we talk about it on here. Hollywood's a big fucking place, but it's a small place, guys. And, you know, everybody has a story. Everybody saw something. I could tell you, oh, half of these things

that people say, people saw. But they didn't want to lose their job. jobs. They didn't want to, you know, Gina Davis came out against Bill Murray last week. Now they're posting a video online about Bill Murray on some talk show with Gina Davis and he's doing creepy stuff.

Today he was getting attacked on fucking Twitter or yesterday. Sunday I was watching something on Yahoo, the sport lines, and he was getting fucking slammed on fucking, I don't know what he did now. Listen, and he most of the people saying what I say to

Over the years, they treat these people like, you know, they do nothing wrong. And when you're young and you're stupid, you listen to these fucking guys. I had great experiences with James Colburn. Fucking, I had great experiences with fucking Adam Sandler, Chris Rock. I had a great. Tracy Morgan was great to work with.

You know, you hear all these crazy people. But I tell you, I had the hardest fucking, sets I had were people that you motherfuckers like. Like that America thinks this, you know, one guy's guy, I did like four movies with this one cat. This guy had a huge TV show

in the 80s and 90s and 90s. He was huge, this guy. He was America's fucking sweetheart. But then he, Twitter came and this motherfucker opened up his mouth about his political views and shit. And people throw so much hate at this dude. I did a movie with him.

and the first movie I did with him was he was very cool but I also noticed that he played four football games on the training squad for an NFL fucking team and they cut him. He played four fucking NFL games for a trading squad the four dudes that practice outside without a fucking helmet and shit they just practice outside.

But if you talk to this guy when he talks to you, he'll talk to you like he's an NFL analyst. He thinks he's fucking Michael Irvin. I mean it's disgusting. But that's what, Hollywood allows you. You don't have to do something for a long time and be the master of it. They'll take the thing you did the smallest amount and they'll blow it up like you were

fucking some. And in his mind, I mean, he would come every Sunday we were shooting and give his picks. The guy fucking couldn't pick a winner. The guy didn't know anything. But they blew it up like that. Now he's being hated for political shit. And he's a nice guy and he did some great things. But he was always one of those guys on the set and shit.

And one day I remember he got it a little kinky with me. and I got Kinky back with him because that's what happens to those people. He had that little edge of white privilege to him and shit, especially on the set. He pushed, I pushed back, and he fucking lost it. He lost it, guys. And it was very interesting to see

because there was no smile on my face. I said what I said back to him, and I didn't care if I lost the job. I thought the movies didn't pay much. The movies were paying me $100 a day. I got a little back end of the money and cash after I shot the movie, but I wasn't getting rich of these things, and nobody was watching these movies.

I was just doing them to practice my acting. It was great to practice your acting and look at the script and attack it from a different situation. Dog, after the second movie, we basically never talked again. And then after like the third movie, he stopped putting themselves in the movies, and he started producing. It was guys, it was so fucking weird.

And I remember that somebody said to me, hey man, you know him well. Why don't you reach out to him and get him on the podcast? I'm like, not in a million years. I don't want to put that guy's bullshit because if their lips are moving, they're fucking lying. Those guys, they just tell you what you want to hear. And when you meet them, you meet him for 10 seconds. And you're like, oh, my God, he was so nice. Hang out for another day.

Hang out for another day with these fucking egos. Hang out for, yeah, they're a bunch of fucking egos. man. And do you see what's going on now? Like, I mean, and Bill Murray's people didn't even answer back for fucking, for comment nothing. It's like, listen, you can be a douchebag, and that shit's going to come back and bite you in the fucking ass.

People are sick and tired of dealing with those type of people. And, you know, it's like when a girl does a TV show, makes money, does a movie, and then 10 years from now, she puts out a book on how she got molested and how they treated on the thing. Why weren't you complaining while it was happening? Huh? Oh, because they were paying you, and you didn't want to lose your job.

So you let somebody talk to you that way. It's too late for love, lady. You can't come at me now and say, oh, this guy, you know, he paid you all. You were getting $40,000 an episode. There's people in this country that don't make $40,000 a fucking year. And I understand. But why don't you open your mouth then?

You would have still kept your fucking job. you would look like a fucking hero. It makes me believe that you were having a good fucking time doing it, playing a game, sexually, a little sexual fucking stress on the set. I've been on sets, guys,

and I've seen the little light sex, what's that shit when they, anxiety, they call it something. Like, not innuendos, but very like, uh,

it's like, it's like a little bit more than flirting, but a little less than enough to smack you in the face. Like they'll say different things. I just say it. That's why nobody ever fucked with me on those sets. Because I just said it. I didn't fuck around with like, well, maybe you could, you know,

like the cute actors, well, maybe you could, you know, do this and the fucking costume ladies. Then two weeks later, oh, he tried to sexually harass you. Yeah, why? Because you sucked his dick. And then he didn't give you his number. You know, guys, it's fucking ridiculous. But anyway, it's motherfucking.

Monday Copsuckers. We got Monday night. Mother fucking football tonight and Draft Kings is there. You got motherfucking Denver against L.A. tonight. Who's better than you? Nobody. I don't even know what the fuck just happened. I'm feeling a little better today.

I was sick for the last two weeks. I had to go to doctor, antibiotics, the whole fucking deal. But finally I started feeling a little better. I've been having bad fucking headaches, you know. COVID was three, four fucking days. This flu, today makes it two weeks. Two weeks, so they still got green shit coming out of my nose. I'm still spitting colors.

I got a fucking headache all goddamn day. So just take care of yourself, guys. I don't know if you got a flu shot or not. I'm not going to tell you to get no fuck. The flu shot. I haven't taken, I've never taken a fucking flu shot. How's that for you? Natural, natural immunity.

Orange juice and a little reefer. You're good to go. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, hopefully this week we will fucking figure out what the fuck is going on. Tremendous weekend yesterday. Listen, man, I don't, I like every type of sport. I don't give a fuck. And it's not even about gambling or putting a bet in.

For some reason, this year I'm getting into baseball. My daughter's into it. I got into it. And I watched, I didn't watch it. There's no way I would sit through 18 fucking innings. I'm not going to lie to you. I bet Houston. I had the money line because it's a playoffs.

Everybody wins by one. I think I came home, shower, and I watched two innings of it, and it was tied up. 18 innings. I ended up winning $27. That means after five hours, I was making like two bucks a fucking hour yesterday.

So if you bet Houston yesterday, that was a long fucking day to win fucking 30 bucks. But I also had Cleveland in the playoffs. And then last night I was sitting with my, Dorden were watching the Dodger game The Dodgers were up It was like the sixth inning I'm like oh

I see the fucking San Diego Pajie's coming back I put 10 bucks on the odds Of them coming back And I saw it paid $78 But we were watching A honeymoon Saturday night

And she fell asleep Watching a Mumbo episode I let her sleep And I watched a little bit of the fucking When he gets evicted episode And then I said mercy Let's go upstairs fucking So I forgot the game was even on.

I woke up Sunday morning. I go to look at the football lines. I'm like, oh shit. I won that $78 for the $10. They came back. I thought I was going to watch two winnings of the fucking game, but it changed. This week I had to fucking do something, guys, that I didn't want to talk about it, but let's talk about it.

I had to do something that I hate doing. I fucking hate doing this shit. When I get mad at somebody, it takes me two days to recover. I don't get mad like normal people. I get, I got hot blood, guys. My blood boils quickly. And, you know, when I get hot and I have to, if I get hot at you and I don't say nothing to you,

I work it out in my head, then I'm okay. But if I get really hot and I have to say something to you, it fucking irks me. It just irks me for two days. My blood pressure stays up. I can't really sleep. So I'm going to tell you guys what happened. You tell me what you think.

I took this as a personal attack. Maybe you guys thinking, Joe, you overreacted. I enjoy the town I live in. I enjoyed a lot. And I've been here for two years, and I've kept my mouth shut. I haven't said a fucking word. My daughter plays softball, as you guys know.

Listen, I don't, again, I don't coach. I don't wear a jersey. I don't know nothing about baseball, especially with girls. So I get my chair and I sit on, I take a few edibles, I smoke some dope before I get there, and you don't hear dick on Uncle Joey. That's just how I wrote. I don't want to say nothing, okay? Every once in a while I'll talk to one of the moms, the dads, the dads talk to me, the whole thing.

The girls are six and fucking oh. They had a great fucking season. So this is travel ball. When you play travel ball, you dedicate, they're your number one team. And they ask you, please don't, the rules, the number one rule is it's 100% commitment. If you play another team, that's on your decision, you still got to show up for those fucking games. Again, I don't know nothing. I get high, I sit there, I get some vitamin D, and I talk to parents and I giggle.

It's a lot better than being in a fucking hotel room on a Saturday. So we were up six, it was six, oh, it was this Saturday that we had the show in the city hall, October 8th, maybe it was it, October 8th. And Lee was here, so Lee and I went to her first, she had a double at her, they started at three. When we get there, there's eight girls. Now, I don't, I didn't count them. I just heard the wives say, there's eight girls, were one short, who's short, It was a girl on team.

That's a great player. Sweetheart of a girl. And they said, I think she's sick. Okay. I didn't think about it. You know, people getting sick. I'm sick. COVID, you know, you accept this shit.

We went home. I had to do the show. I didn't stay there. And now something that happened at the game, some racism shit. You know, and again, it's fucking disgusting that it's in with kids. You know, these aren't kids like I was in Harlem saying, shit. These are kids of nice fucking suburbia down here.

So a couple days later, we find out that the girl who was supposed to be sick didn't show because her dad one of the coaches on our team put her in a different in a club game like a club

thing that you belong to a baseball club? I don't really know. I don't know the particulars. And again I don't get involved. I just hear the mom saying this is not good. This guy's not a regular dad. He's a coach on the team.

And, you know, so I hear about it. I get to the field on Monday or Tuesday for practice, and I see that the guy's not there. His wife, again, who's a sweetheart with the daughter, are there. And I'm thinking to myself, that's weird. I just heard that the guy fucking took his daughter out, and now the guy's not here.

It goes back to what I always say. Guilty conscience is no motherfucking accuser. Okay. As a matter of fact, she was sick on Saturday, but now it's Tuesday. She's the first one there jumping up and down. Again, I like the kid. The kid's a great player, sweetheart of a girl, nice family. He's always been like a little fucking, you know, bots.

So that's the word on the street, that he fucking took it to a different club and that she missed a playoff game, you know, these are the girls that she's been with for two fucking years. They went to a party. So we couldn't figure it out. So Friday night, we had to practice. And, you know, I got a couple of mushrooms in me. It's motherfucking Friday.

I got a couple of edibles in me. I had a great day Friday. I was feeling a little better. I was getting out of the house. You know, I had struggled Friday. So I go down to the To the practice I tell my wife I'll be there about 10 minutes

Go ahead I had the chair in my car And I drive for the practice Now I get out of the fucking car And whenever I do mushrooms The gels from Philly The gummies fucking tremendous From sillies

I My breath Something happens to my breathing It affects my breathing When I go on a long walk For some reason I don't know why. So I get out of the car and I got to walk the field.

So I walk the fucking field. And as I make the turn, who do I see? Now, the word on the street was the daughter couldn't play, which I could care less if she plays or not. But she couldn't play because she didn't play enough games. She missed a couple games or a couple of innings. Who's on the field? The daughter and the dad is there.

They're warming up. So I'm walking with my chair. And I'm walking. I see the moms. I'm like, hey ladies, what's happening? The girls are warm it up. And the dad's dancing. He's got a stupid look on his fucking face.

You know what? It must have bothered me that much because I went up to him and I go, listen, Cocksucker. I got to have a word with you. And, you know, I never really spoke to this guy. I just came out with a cocksucker out of them. And he goes, well, I'll put it in my schedule. And I fucking hung my chair down.

I go, hey, man, what happened last fucking Saturday? How come your daughter wasn't here? I heard she was playing another game. He's like, oh, she was sick. And my son had a game and standing out. I'm like, bro, that's not what I fucking heard. Once he said she was sick, he just lied to me. He just lied to me.

You know, one of the coaches from our team was talking to one of his friends who coaches at that club by mistake. This is why you got to be careful. Who the fuck you tell your shit? It's like me bumping into Mike after I haven't seen. him in a year and it's like hey mike where you been oh i'm coaching this club down in freehold really i think one of my girls plays with you boom and the guy goes yeah in fact she played saturday so this guy is a fucking sweetheart of a guy this coach that got this news he didn't want to really

throw him under the bus i guess he told my wife my wife got it back to me and i just you know guys listen i am so sick and fucking tired of everybody looking at their child and seeing fucking listen, I want great things from my daughter, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lie for her. And that doesn't mean I'm going to do kinky shit, which at the end of the day ain't going to do

nothing for that child. You know, I sit at all those baseball games over the years, the last two years, and every fucking parent from the other team, our team, you know, and I got that, they eventually moved away, but they always, it's always

about how, you know, what we spoke to a coach in fucking Cuba. He's going to come up on the weekend on a bicycle and coach my day. It's always like, listen, my daughter never played softball before. I took her on that field for the first time. What did you think I expected? You think I expected Pete fucking Rose?

She never played softball before. She never swung a bat before. It's just lucky. She's got a little athletic blood in her, and she took to it. And she's not a great player, my daughter. She's a lot better defensively than offensively. But you don't see me.

calling Joe Rogan and going, hey, can you get me a meeting with the Texas Rangers? I want to bring mercy down there to pitch and put pressure on this poor kid. Right now, my daughter's playing the fucking drums. She plays rec ball. She plays softball, and she goes to M.M.A.

And she's in fourth grade with their killing her with homework. They're killing her with shit. She's pretty good, but they're still killing her with shit. It's fourth grade. LA wasn't teaching the shit. California wasn't teaching the shit. We're busy here. We're busy. I'm saying?

Like, we, she got a bunch of shit going on. So what are you on there to do? All those activities that I noted, the drum, she plays the drum in the band, what do you think? I called John Bonham from the grave and had him come over here and teach my daughter lessons because I'm Uncle Joey. Is that what you think I did now? When she goes to MMA, what do you think I take her to fucking Henzzo and say, do something with my daughter?

She's nine. She's nine. What are you going to do with my daughter? I treat her, do what the fuck you're doing right now for her. for fun. When I, there's days I go to Mercy, I'm taking you to fucking MMA. And she'll go, I don't know. I'm not feeling, Mercy, you got to go to MMA.

Okay, Dad. When we get to MMA, she walks in the door, she's giggling within four minutes. Giggling with her girls. And the guy with the big ears, there's a cute kid. He's fucking huge with big ears. They giggle, they throw kicks at each other. I tell her mercy. You see?

Aren't you happy you came? Yeah. When I take it to the softball field and somebody says, I go, shh, you hear that? That's kids laughing. That's kids laughing. What do you want? Do you want to put pressure on her now?

Let's take it to a fishing clinic. This is what you got to do, 20 push-ups a day. Guess what? By the time she's 13, she's going to hate that shit anyway. And she's going to hate me. I've never looked at mercy as a fucking living vicariously. You know what? I had my own life.

I made my own mistakes. And I made my own adjustments. and I came through, thank God. I have my own life. I'm not sitting here going, there's a guy, oh my God, oh my God, Mike, I've been dying to tell you this. There's a guy that I used to, I knew his wife.

His wife was a comedy promoter. Fucking great lady. She just couldn't get it together. Red band was tight with her. I was tight with her. We tried to help him, but she was just one of those people that, you know, she was too soft as a comedy booker.

But then I found out there was a reason. She had the goofiest husband ever. The goofiest husband ever. And then I found out through somebody that this guy, his mother invented like the tire. Like his grandfather, this guy had like $20 million in the bank. He's a trust fund guy.

He's got a stadium in his backyard. He's got a fucking empathy. in his backyard. They live up north, you know. She was doing good with comedy. She was trying to put the pieces together. Then one day she got pregnant. Beautiful girl.

I loved her. I forget what her name is. I've been gone from that scene. I haven't seen him probably six or seven years, but I started seeing pictures of her. And they had a boy, fucking beautiful little boy, blonde curls, the whole thing.

But brother, they already got them with fake tattoos. You know, heavy metal t-shirts, snakes, pants, like Jimmy Page. They got them playing the drums. They got, and the kid's talented as fuck. You could see that, you know, he's, but it's like, just a little too creepy. Like, they already have them with makeup on and at the rainbow, you know, and it's just a little too much. You could see that he's living his rock star wannabe life through him,

but the guy had so much money. He never had a chance to play the ukulele like Sting. You know what I'm saying? He just fucking did what he did. And I look at those things like that. Like, I appreciate you loving your child and you fucking turning them on to the drums. You know, there's a drum in my living room right now,

a snare drum. She's up there like one of those boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. One of those people in the fucking declaration of 1776 that playing like that snare drum, that's the band she's in. She's not a Led Zeppelin band. But I think I showed her one drumming thing.

We checked out strumming, but it's not like I had John Bonham. This is what you have to look like, Moby Dick. No, I just showed her like some guy doing bass. Then they teach her, it's twice a week. She goes, you know, I'm not here to break her back. I read the book Pistol Pete Marevich. I'm a big fan of Pistol Pete. I was a big fan of everything Pistol Pete did.

But I wasn't a fan of how he was raised. his father was, I read like three books on Pistol Pete and I appreciated the dad's bravado and the push but the dad was a nasty alcoholic. He would beat him. He would make him sleep outside. He would make him sleep in a tent in the winter if he didn't score a certain amount of points.

That's not for me, guys. That's never been for me. If you try that shit on me, I would run away too. You know, and I have a living thing that that happened to. My brother, Georgia's a sweetheart. I love George with all my heart. His daughter was one of the best fucking softball players in Hudson County. One of the best softball players in the state.

But guess what? She did great in high school, but she was pushed so much. It was such a push that one day she just said, enough, I don't want to play this no more. Now she's trying to get back into coaching and stuff. We told her she'd come down and pitch with mercy, whatever. She's a great kid, but I just want to let my... My daughter do what the fuck she wants to do.

When she's 13, if she takes the, I don't want to play the drums, no more dad. I think I'm going to just want to play softball and fucking MMA. You know, now you narrow it down and you put more effort into those activities. You know, but I'm not going to fucking press her to do anything. Right now, she's just a little fucking girl. And let's get that even better. She's just a little kid. And guess what?

That's something. never was. I never had the fun she's having now without breaking the window without, you know, shooting a BB out of fucking bird, without throwing singles out the window. I didn't have the fun she has now. So it's very interesting to see.

So it's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive. It's Monday cock suckers. I want to thank you guys for supporting on a beautiful Monday morning. Get your goals and let's do this shit. Bill Murray's a puke and we got a great week. Give Kanye a break. You know he's

half a bots. They're probably giving them fucking, whatever. The same vitamins they gave fucking, you know, the Olympic, they got a, he became a woman. Yeah, so give Kanye a break. Even if you're Jewish, come on. People been talking shit about us Jews for years. Who gives a fuck?

You know what I'm saying? Stay black. Uncle Joey loves you. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right, you bad motherfuckers. I want to thank you for sticking it out with your uncle Joey. You guys know I've been eating healthy for the last couple of years, or at least I try. That's why I've been taking beef organ and supplements from heart and salt.

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Read the third-party lab results, and let's get this party started before the holidays so you could start the new year feeling Tip Top Magoo. Speaking of Tip-Top Magoo, UFC 280s here, Olivares against that fucking lunatic. They're going to battle it out to the debt. and UFC Draft Kings is partnering up for the UFC to make you some fucking Guitars. Right now, new customers off the boat, $5 on UFC 280 and get 200 and free bets when your fighter wins.

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the draft king sports book app use promo code joey and throw down a fin to get your 200 and free bets. That's code Joey. Saturday night, Draft King's Sportsbook. Minimine age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Now download the Draft King's fantasy app or the sportsbook app and go win some motherfucking money. I want to thank Draft Kings. I want to thank heart and soil.co and I want to thank CBDLion.com. I want to thank all you motherfuckers for always having me. We'll be back Thursday morning. I got a nice guest for you. She's going to talk about vaginal shit. So I'll see you, cock suckers.

Wednesday morning, tip top, Magoo. Stay black.