The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #206 - Joey Diaz, Rich Franklin, Matt Fulchiron and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: August 21, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by UFC star Rich Franklin and Hilarious comedian Matt Fulchiron live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey before September 1 for 20% off. Recorded live on 08/20/2014. Music: TLC - Creep Led Zeppelin - No Quarter

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The church of what's happened now just when you thought it was safe. Fuck it. You're three weeks in a Santa Anakey, bitch. The hell with it. We're here full house tonight. Oh shit. Put away the frozen pizza. Tell Mama to spray that antifungle on your nutsack.

It's going down today. Fuck it, Lee. What's the story? What's up, dog? Where you been, baby? I've been with you. You got a shirt on and shit matching y'all. eyeballs, look at you. I'm fired tonight.

A few minutes away. I got my weed license finally. I heard. Yeah, it's a really, it was the best doctor experience in my life. I found it on Yelp. I went. They had a Stallone movie playing in the waiting room and took five minutes and... What's the lone movie? I don't remember.

They're like aliens. There was a weird one. Oh, God, I haven't seen it. I saw the first one, but I didn't see anything after that. The expendables went down hard. I thought they were going to win the box office. They had everybody in the goddamn movie. I mean, it's a white's in the movie. Fun action movie, if you want to see that. But after, like the third one,

fuck us, they help and watch Predator. Pretheader's just as good. You know what I'm saying? They kill a fucking people. Nobody sees. What happened yesterday? Went over to eat, right? Yeah, we went and got a very nice steak.

Thank you very much. He watched my cats when I was gone. Listen, I hate vacations. I hate leaving the house. I don't care if my wife leaves, the bait, I don't give a fuck. I hate leaving for three days. I keep thinking there's going to be an earthquake,

and something's going to happen to my cats. Right. I get really paranoid. I'm like, damn, something's going to happen. I'm going to feel guilty of the rest of my life, my fucking animals. I left him, so I always get Lee to go at the nighttime, and then the babysitter goes in the morning. And I just, you know, it's a peace of mind for me,

knowing that Lee goes over there, because just Lee sits with them and pets them and fucking picks him up. And he just got his weed card so he can chill real long now. He hasn't got weed yet. I still haven't bought it. He has to go to the store still. I'm going to send him to my store up the corner there with the hot chicks with bikinis on. Did you have to give him a reason?

Did you come up with their? It actually, that's a real reason. I just, I worked nights for two years, and I just, I have the worst time going to sleep. The two nights before I got the card, I was taking, like, NyQuil, because I ran out of sleeping pills. I was like, fuck. It just doesn't feel good. So, yeah. What happens to you at night?

You just keep thinking. Sometimes it's thinking, but if it's thinking, I'll, like, leave SportsCenter on and just pass out. You got that fucking Jewish mind. It's nonstop. It's thinking about sandals and pennies and fucking trust. If you have problems with golf, but if you have problems with sports. girls. You should spend a night with Joey Diaz.

That has to be your best. That's your next book after your first book. Lee's very shy. And so am I. I was always very shy. When you see a freak, you know when she's a freak. We all have that freak thing.

Freak darling. You see a chick and we're like, that chick is heavy fucking duty. But I would never have guessed her. So let's just describe the chick. Lee didn't fucking know. First off, they gave us the shittiest house.

The shittiest table. They gave us the table by the bathrooms. Right. At that, where we go? Morton's. Mortons. Was it Morton's? Yeah.

We went to Morton's. They gave us the table by the bathroom, and these women kept walking and out, and they were all pretty good-looking, but they were all like cougarish. Right. They were all like hot. At least 60s, right?

No, 50s, like 48. But there was just one cougar that had big titties, and just on her face, it's like a neon sign that said, I want cock. And I was talking to Lee, and we didn't know, and I must have said a lot.

I go, look at this one here. All she needs is a couple of Conyacs. And she's ready to fucking go. And she heard it. It was better because on the way in, you said it. And on the way out, you said it again, louder. And then she looked at me, and she kept walking. And then, like, two minutes ago she came back, and she goes,

I don't know if you're married or not, but this is my card. And I'm like, holy fuck, she heard it. She didn't even ask for it. No, you could always see when they were free. Well, in a way, you did. Well, what comp, you know, as a comedian, you have to, I always look at chicks. And I'm like, that chick's no fucking good. I was at Calico Casino with Tom's a girl.

and some girl took a picture with her brother and her tits were out and all the and just her body movement and I said to how dirty of a freak are you and her and her brother left and ten minutes later this girl came back and she's like how did you know I'm like you gotta be an idiot

not to know you're a nasty fucking savage no but there's girls who dress like provocatively she wasn't provoking this one wasn't like a big pink dress like big it's the ones it's not the provocative ones fuck those dirty animals it's the ones that are hiding the fucking weapons of mass destruction.

You know what I'm saying? That's the one. Oh, my God. It was amazing. She came over. I don't know if you're married. You had her laughing. And she stayed for like five minutes, just like laughing at everything you said. And I was going to call until I'm married, but thank you. You know, you're very nice. We were talking about my friend, how I could spot a freak. Because I would have asked her.

Yeah. And she would have said, yeah, they'll tell you the truth. Sure. Real animals will tell you. Fake animals will say, oh, no, you know, whatever. But we got methotrons in there. Yeah, yeah, what's up, dude? What's up?

And the Man of Steel, Mr. Rich Franklin from Columbus, Ohio. What's happening, baby? What's going on there, man? I don't fucking know, Rich Franklin. How'd I start? Every two weeks, I bump into a fighter. You know that? What's his name?

Lives in Studio City. Who? The big black guy, Chuck Congo. How do fuck does Chuck Congo walk around Studio City and not get shot? Big black dude, lives in Studio, fucking City. I didn't know that. That's because he has a French accent. Yeah, that's what they love all this.

you're safe. It's amazing what a fucking neighborhood of suckers we live in for a foreign accent. Like people are fucking looking for work every day in this town. If you're white, you'll never get a job. If you have an English accent, Australian walking to any agency. You're set. And you're set. Don't make you answer the fucking phones.

But I was thinking about something. How come me, I swear to God, that's the main thing. For somebody to answer the phones with an accent. But they never have like an African motherfucker answering the phone. You ever call like an agency? It's like, oh, you know, like, I do an African, whatever. It's always an Australian, English, or French.

Where I go to Jiu-Jitsu, there's a dark-skinned French dude with white hair. Every time I look at him, I just see 20 chicks sucking his dick. That's all I see. Like, he talks to me, and all I see is him, like, by a pool and, like, chicks waiting online, like begging to suck his dick. He's got everything that they like in Hollywood. They have the French accent.

You know, they're... He's a yoga teacher. That's it. Yoga teacher. a little tattoo an accent it's all over couple college philosophy class yeah a couple college philosophy and you hang out of the coffee shop

quote a book or two you'll have a clamydia fucking year card like one of those yearly chlamydia cards what you think met full time you're I think you absolutely right dude I think an accent will take you very far it really is amazing especially if it's out of place well Americans are very

suckers for an accent you know I was at Justin Fortune's place the other and he's Australian and you have a conversation with him and you have a conversation with most Australians most likely that dude that plays X-Man Wolverine. Yeah. They over-fucking do the accent for chicks. Chicks love that shit. Jim Short,

a funny comedian from Australia. His accent isn't that Australian anymore. He's been here forever since he was a teenager. When he gets on stage? No, well, when he gets on stage, that shit it's turned to fuck up, you know? Everyone loves it. Does it work the same for us if we go overseas, though? I don't

know that it does. No, they hate this. They hate this. No, where the fuck we go I know that I mean trust me I've been around the world enough to know that but there's got to be a couple pockets of countries

somewhere where they're like oh I love your accent work on your Canadian accent you know maybe but it works the same for girls too like a hot girl gets even hotter

she has like a cool accent like an English accent yeah I forget there's it like even Penelope Cruz like a Spanish accent something like that's great and a blow

she had a nice sense yeah she was calling me a fucking fagget but that always if a woman calls you a fucking faggy You're like, fuck you dirty bitch. But if a woman calls you a fucking foggot, it's like, okay.

Yeah, it's elegant. Elegant all of a sudden. Fuck, I'm a forgot. Who cares? I went to London and I saw this big, big black dude looked like Biggie Smalls, and I got an elevator with him, and he just bust out the English accent.

Like, what floor are you going to? And I'm like, I almost started laughing. That's how ignorant I am. I almost started laughing at this big, tough-looking motherfucker with an English accent. It's like a joke. It's amazing when you see somebody And you think you know of what they're going to sound like.

I always tell people, you really want to see the real deal. Next time you're in New York City, go to 77th and Broadway, go to a Cuban restaurant called La Calida. It's a Chinese Cuban restaurant. You've never seen that before in your lap. What do they sound like? Me talking Spanish. Real fact.

Oh, yeah, let's a roo frittito special with Papa Madula. Dao Eto in a caféitou, and you're sitting there going, what the fuck is that Chinese guy talking? And he's yelling and Cuban, yelling, yelling, yelling. It was Cuba had the biggest Chinatown for a long time. To like 1968, Cuba had the biggest China. In fact, Fidel, don't fuck with them. But some of those Cubans came over

and opened up Chinese restaurants, especially the East Coast. Yeah. And when I was grown up, it was like, on Banachina, the Chinese bell. Fucking tremendous. You get rice and beans, a spare rib. What are you going to get that? Negro.

Where are you going to get that? You know what I'm saying? In Silver Lake, they got the place that it's all Mexican dudes, and it's a sushi restaurant. They wear the fucking sushi outfits. They're Mexican, though. It's amazing. There's no respect. Go to a Benihana.

The host is Chinese. Everybody else is fucking Mexican. I went to a... Listen, bro. I was in Paducah, Kentucky last weekend. Oh, you get close to my hometown. Okay. We ain't fucking around, right?

And I went to Halahans. Japanese steakhouse. My wife goes, look, this is a Japanese steakhouse. How bad could it be? There was Buffalo Wild Wings and it was all just concept. That's Japanese. There's a Japanese Buffalo Wild Wings. No, but this is all just like concept

restaurants in this area. This is no shit about Paducah. We walk in. We're walking, but my feet are sticky. Oh, no. Like, they're having mopped. I'm like, oh. I said, fuck it, how bad can it be?

I grew up in New York City. I've eaten at these places before. We sit down. every waitress is pregnant every waitress was fucking pregnant that two dudes one dude was really Mexican and the other dude was something else

with two earrings and shit right that's Japanese in Kentucky now not one Japanese person was in his restaurant but I saw something Jerry Roach, a dear friend of ours has a joke about doing comedy in Texas Arcana and there was a magician in front of him

and there were cowboys and the magician started doing magic and the cowboys were like, stop it. That's the work of Satan. You know, stop it, stop it, stop. You know, and it's a pretty funny thing. I saw it. Yeah. There was a guy with a cowboy hat.

And the Mexican, you know, they take the egg and they throw up in the end of flight, and it gets in their hat. And the guy was like, do that again. And I looked at my wife. I'm looking Jerry Roach's joke playing out right in front of us. It was fucking crazy. But I noticed that there was no Japanese people, But the people from...

You're in Kentucky. You didn't expect to see Japanese. At least one fucking... Half a Japanese. How about a half of Japanese? In New York, those Indians that own the casino, they don't fucking have feathers. At least a Chinese guy or something.

They look like me, the guys have casino. But they'll argue that they have one 16th Indian. Right. So that's how they open up the fucking casino. There's no fucking guys that look like, you know, the guy from outlaw Josie Wells, 10 bears. Ain't nobody looking like 10 bears and that shit.

It's amazing. There's not a Japanese person. person left on a Benny Island. Right. But what about Kentucky? Is there any Asians in Kentucky at all? There's got to be, right? A couple of, you know, 10, 8?

It just depends. I mean, it depends on where if you're in a place like Paduca, no. But if you go to like Lexington or, you know, if you're like. Louisville. Or Louisville or just south of Cincinnati in the river there. Right. Pockets of Asians. Now you're from Cincinnati? Yeah, Cincinnati.

Wow, what a fucking lucky man you are. Why is that? The big motherfucking red machine. That's as good as it gets. You were too young and shit. No, I was a lot. You were too young and shit. I don't this country don't remember the big fucking red machine.

I was young, but I do remember it barely. The excitement of the city? But then all we had after that was our 91 Reds. They swept the A's and that's it. And then we had the Bengals every year. And every year, it's like, this is going to be our year this year. It's, uh, if, you know, they made a movie a couple years ago. And with Brad Pitt and the other kid, Jonah Hill, called Moneyball.

Yeah, yeah. It was about these fucking computers. If you did your homework. Moneyball was the 73 Cincinnati Reds. They had no home run hitters. They had Eric Foster, I think. Everybody was hitting singles and stealing bases, though, until you lost your mind.

If you watch classic baseball, when you see Cincinnati Reds playing, stop it, and watch two innings, and watch what Cincinnati did. Sparky Anderson used to tell him, listen, guys, I don't care if we win or lose. Our job is to fucking make the pitcher break. Like, we're going to break him.

Like, he's going to walk off the mound and go, I'm done. I never want to play baseball again. This is fucking absurd. Like 9 and 10 pitch of bats. You know, like everybody steals. Everybody fakes the steal. They bunting.

It was so unorthodox baseball. And you had, you know, you had like... Well, there wasn't a DH back then, was there? Well, they're the National League. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's true. So it was like fucking... Like, they just had this lineup that was money. Like, I think bench was...

He always batted forth. And Pete Rose was like fit to... Tony Perez was like first and Joe Morgan What year I'll get it out? Seventy-three. It was a monstrous lineup. I mean, they ruled an eye in hand

for like five years. Like just fucking beat bitches up. But for me, if I think of any sporting event that took me, it had to be Marquette against North Carolina and the finals in 1978

when they played knockout. That was a great basketball game because the guy was quitting. And it's got to be my favorite events were fucking Cincinnati when they played the Boston Red Sox.

That whole series, that's, if you fucking put a gun to my head or not, that's my favorite World Series of all time. That was just... Are you allowed to say that?

What? Being from New York, are you allowed to say that? I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. You know, I'm Cuban. Baseball is in our fucking soul.

So in my house, my mom was a Red Sox fan. Right. And I was a Cincinnati a Red fan. But I liked the Red Sox, too. How is she a Red Sox fan? She was a Met,

fan and a fucking red Sox fan. I don't fucking know. I'm not going to sit there and argue with it. I didn't give a fuck. She was a Red So I knew if Cincinnati lost to the Reds, I would not stop getting tortured. Like everything would be Boston Red Sox soup today. You know, born in a Red Sox shirt,

she'd just torment me the whole fucking winter. So I got on my hands and knees. I'm like, Jesus, if you ever came through for me, you've got to come fucking through now. This is it, because I've never got a goddamn end of this shit. You're praying? I had to pray. You're praying to Jesus?

It's everybody. The fucking Buddha. All three of them. The Santeria priest. I fucking pray to everybody because I couldn't. But that's my all-time faith. That's what baseball should be. Everybody wanted home runs and stuff like that.

And it wasn't that. It was what Sparky Anderson was doing those of you. You know, Goldberg. Whenever I see Goldberg, that's all we talk about. When Sparky Annison died, it was hysterical because I was in a plane with Rogan. I go, Rogan, did you give your condolences to Goldberg over Sparky Anderson? He's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

Who sparked against? I go, get the phone, and text him. He goes, he's not going to text me back. Watch, text him back right away. That's what Cincinnati Boy will do. Cincinnati Boy. He texted me, that's fucking amazing. I go, though, you don't understand.

To some people, that was my life watching that. And then I caught it five years ago in a hotel room. I just happened to catch a classic baseball. And I was fucking breathing heavy because I couldn't imagine being that pitcher. So the guy gets a single. That guy that gets a single. or he's going to steal. Whether he makes it or not, it doesn't matter.

They're just doing this to ruffle the pitcher. Yeah, it has. It won't give me the order they were in, but catching was Johnny Bench. First base was Tony Perez. Yeah. Second base was Joe Morgan. Yeah.

The shortstop was Concepcion. Yeah. The third baseman was fucking... Menke. No, fuck. Pete Rose. Pete Rose was playing left, according to... They always had them mixed up.

Yeah, no. But the computer's wrong. He played like four or five positions. Pete Rose played four, five positions. Really? Yes. You have no fucking idea. What this was?

Turn that computer off. Turn that fuck. This was craziness. Have you seen pizza documentary 4192? No. Oh, it's amazing. Oh, then it's done. I'll watch it this weekend.

And he's funny. I get goosebumps talking about that shit. What do you think about him not being in the Hall of Fame? Like, I mean, we know he's in the Hall of Fame, right? He's in the Hall of Fame. He's the fucking guy at the door at the Hall of Fame. But, you know, before I get off that, you know, when Betts got hurt, Plummer used to fucking back him and Bench would play

first base and Tony Perez would shift this was a crazy team this was a crazy fucking team this was anybody can do anything and you had to you got a pitch you got a pitch dog get out there what I'd be to get out there that was fucking baseball to me

that was it Manky I forgot all about fucking Manky I swear to God that's the first time I heard that name I don't fucking get fuck him that was real baseball So after that guy, once Morgan got on, he was going to steal. Now you got one on and a guy out for second. That's it.

That's it. Now comes the meat of the fucking rotation. You had like Concepcion bench and like Perez or something. And that's it. And then Rose was lurking. So now forget it. By the time Rose went up, you're already two, nothing. And you had one out and a guy on second still playing.

Come on, I'm going to steal from you. And by this guy would turn and he balked. then the guy would move one and then there you go and next thing you know they go up the rotation went up two times this picture when he goes in he you're fucking mesmerized you can't take that shit didn't Johnny Bench get his on TV show like a Saturday morning show

Lee anybody can you look that up I feel like he did I think he was after he went to San Diego though I think the San Diego mascot was involved that's a bird right I don't follow sports for shit well you better get it together yeah well that's why I got Lee look that shit called the baseball bunch from 92 to 85 Boom.

All right. He's got Google. He's good. He's good. He didn't have to follow sports if you ever doing this. Turns out at duty. So when did you retire? Technically, I haven't...

Never said that. Yeah, I haven't... I have one fight left on my contract. Okay. But I'm working for One FC over in Asia. It's another fight organization. Good fight organization. And I still have a fight left with UFC.

If I fight, I contracted by the UFC to fight with UFC. But otherwise, I'm working as an executive with one FC for now. So we'll see. see what happens in the upcoming future. It's good to have you here, man. It's good to be like fucking had that call. We're talking Cincinnati Reds. I didn't even know that was going to happen.

Couldn't plan that shit. That's what the podcast is. That's what we do here, though. The same, you know, like I said, that was my. So I always had a soft spot. I had an uncle who drove me down in Cincinnati, got me a windbreaker jacket with Rose on it, and number 14, and that was it.

I didn't take that motherfucker off. So do you happen to be a Bengals fan, too? No. No. No. I've been against the Bengals. They played the Niners. No, no.

You sound like... It's all randomly picked in the Diaz house. You know, all the teams. So who's your football team then? At that time, when I was growing up, I like the Steelers. Wow. I like the Jack Lambert. I know, I know it's anti-Sincinnati.

But they're American. I'm Cuban. When I came here, that's all I wanted to be was an American. So, yeah, the Minnesota Vikings were all. But fuck them. I think I think Cowboys. Fuck, Frank. Well, here's the problem.

Here's the problem. All right. You're talking about when I was 10 in comparison to when I got older. Okay. When I was 10, I fucking, I just loved the Pittsburgh Steelers. And then he woke up. And then I woke up. And once I saw the Dallas Cowboys, I worked their motherfucking manager.

He's a bandwagon fan. No, no, no. I like the top. I like these teams. You like Tom Land. No, no, no, no. 70s I like the Steelers. In the 90s, I was more.

In the 80s, I was a 49ers fan. I always liked Pittsburgh because, I always like Pittsburgh because they always had the lowest payroll. I like them because of that. It's a blue collar football team. When I was a kid, I went to air. Indoor, no, offense, defense football camp. And it was Jack Ham and Jack Lambert's football camp. And to me, I was fucking blown away.

When I saw Jack Lambert hit, the shit he used to do was just amazing. And I always liked everything. The thing I liked about Cincinnati was it was always a fucking snowstorm. Oh, that's what I'm talking about, baby. Oh, that's football. Okay, that's fucking football. That shit with the sun out and the blue and the flight and the airplanes going over and people saluting the flag.

Fuck you. Get out there. Get some fucking mud and some ice cock suckers. Listen, I still remember when the Niners played against Cincinnati that year, like when Joe Montana and all that. Oh, yeah. They were playing when Kenny Anderson was the quarterback. That was Boomer Seison.

No. In the 83? Oh, I thought you were talking the Super Bowl game. No, no. I'm talking about the early. That's when I started discovering the Cincinnati Bengals, with Collingsworth and that whole team. Ken Anderson, I think, was the quarterback or whatever.

Doug, every time you watch Cincinnati, there was a snowstorm, or they were blowing fucking steam out of their mouths, or people were shaking. It was like Wisconsin, like the Green Bay Packers. Yeah, it was always like that. You know, and it was so weird how when I, at that time, that's who CBS was putting on. I was putting on Cleveland or Cincinnati, and, you know, and you switch to the NFC game, which was the Niners.

Everybody always, you know, after like mid-season, they always just try to show you the teams that they're pushing, you know, to get ratings and shit. It's amazing. But no, no, it wasn't that I was a bandwagon guy. I just never liked the fucking Giants. I like Lawrence Taylor As a football player How he dragged people How he tortured people

But I didn't like the Giants as a whole You know I liked the And then I just stopped liking sports altogether I was telling him I watched football this last week It was on And he goes, I can't believe you're watching

I go just need to scratch an itch Six months you need 10 minutes Of a football game And you're all right I'm good now for the fucking Whether it's preseason or not So what? You're not in sports at all anymore Am I into sports at all? I can't named teams and coaches.

Right. But I, you know, I enjoy watching a game. You're like me. It's like you're busy and you don't have, you don't have, like there was a time in my life where I sit down and watch like ESPN, like watch the game recaps, NFL network. You watch the fast forward games. You're watching draft. You know, all that stuff, man, the combines.

Like I'm especially with football because I grew up playing football my whole life. And I'm like, I was on it all the time, like watching that stuff. And then you finally get to a point like where you just, you don't have that time. You don't have that time to keep up. It's like, it's like, it. really is like sports is like a soap opera for a man sure it's really you know especially now like in social media like who's saying what on social media who's getting traded what team what's going like you know the big hype this year was like lebron going back to cleveland you know and like

people care about that as much as they care about actually watching them play yeah and so you you get caught up in all the minutia of all this stuff you're like like especially with baseball season like i've never been a big baseball fan because if you turn your tv off for four days your your team just went from first to last in their division and you're like how the hell did that happen? It goes for like 10 months. It goes from February to October. It's way too long. But it's kind of the cool thing about fighting because I was thinking

about it like a week or so ago that I love all the Boston teams because I'm from there but it's kind of weird that it's just based on where you're from. It would almost be more fun to do what Joey didn't pick a player or so we liked. But with fighting, it's kind of like NASCAR where you could have families against each other. And it's

kind of interesting. Well, you know, I'll tell you what changed like when the sports went a free agency. I remember being a kid. I grew up, I grew up as a Skins fan as a kid. My dad, same thing. My dad bought me a, like, at a garage sale. I got a little Redskins windbreaker, you know.

And so I had this thing growing up. And prior to that, like, you know, I watched the Redskins all up until probably like the late 80s, early 90s when they, I think they won their last, their Super Bowl in 91. But prior to that, the NFL had gone to free agency. And so one season, you're watching your team. And it's the same players on the same team year after year after year. Reagan's. Yeah.

Zisman. Exactly. You know, they had the whole posse and then, you know, their set of linemen and all that stuff. What was the name of those guys? The hogs. The hogs. The hogs.

And the hogs. The hogs. And the hog gets. Fucking tremendous. But then all of a sudden, like, next season, like, six key players are on different teams. And you're like, what the, and I'm a kid from Cincinnati following. You follow, like, players. You follow stories, you know?

So, yeah. So, were you watching live when Thaisman got his leg courage? I was, actually. I was. By his guy, Lawrence. Yeah. Oh, right, right, right. I think I stopped.

I watched. sports till maybe a year after high. And this is what really happened. A year after high school, the year that John Riggins beat up the killer bees. Remember that? He just fucked them up. John Riggins is badass. John Riggins is badass.

I had a roommate at Fernie Bossa Sudo that we grew up together. He played. He was a big time football player. But he couldn't go to college because he was just blind. He played an offensive guard. He was just blind. And I had moved back to Jersey and he goes, you want to live in me in my basement? We fixed it up. And

He came from Monday, and he's like, hey, man, you guys are always talking about this gambling shit. How do you gamble? And I explained to him, and one of our friends' dad was a bookie. I could just call Pelican's father, you know, and he'll hook you up. And the first time he bet he bet he'd bet he'd bet a hundred-time parley, and he fucking won. Oh, wow. A hundred-time parley. I forget what he won.

Did he develop a problem? Because if you have beginner's luck like that on shit. He got beginners' luck. We went out to this restaurant, we got lobster fra Diablo, and he just, one on the fucking tear. And he made like he was up 60 fucking grand. Like it was his job now. Like it was his job. Oh, I got a new job.

Yeah. And he's up 60 grand. He's like, this is, it's that easy. Every week. Yeah. We are 21, maybe. And this guy's up 40 grand. And he's got it under his fucking bed. Right.

Okay. And then he's got a jar thing. Like this was way before the water things. He had like a Rossi, Martini and Rossi. Remember the big things of wine? He had to fill the $100 bills. I mean, this guy was killing him, and he worked at his dad's restaurant, H&B diner and Edgewater,

right where they shot Copeland. Right there. If you see where that bar is, you look, that's H&B diner. And he was up like 40 grand. We would go out every night, get cocktails. He was on fire.

He had two bookies strung out. I would ask him, what are you need? It was amazing. And then it just started. It was just a slow decline. Like, once January of 80s, 3 came, it was over. Did he keep betting?

He kept betting. And then Super Bowl weekend came, and it was the Redskins against the killer bees from Miami. Right. And he bet everything on fucking Miami. The whole wine box. And he sat on everybody's bets. And I never forget, he just lost everything. And he had to go to the bookie and make a payment deal. Yeah. And the guy knew his father. We'd come into the diner.

So he had to get a job from six to two in the morning pumping gas. Nice. And then from six in the morning to whatever at his father's diner. Imagine if he didn't live in Jersey. He couldn't even get that job. Shit. I thought this was going to end up being one of the stories where he disappeared and nobody knows where he is now.

No, no, you see, he's not... Well, I'll tell you what, he never really recovered, guys. How much did he lose? That was the peak of his life? He ended up losing like 40 grand. Oh. And you're making 300 a fucking week. Yeah. Yeah. You're paying 200 a week. You know, and Vig and whatever the fuck he was paying. Like, he I took him a whole summer of working 75 hours a week,

and he paid the people off, and that was it. And then I know he doesn't watch sports anymore, but after that, it was like life happens. You know? You have to go to school, and you start watching one quarter of a game. I remember in this country when Monday night football meant something. Sure.

You didn't get, I remember fucking going, you know what, Lee? I ain't going on Saturday night, because I want $40 to go to Monday. That was it. Yeah. And this country, 20 years ago, Monday night, was your big fucking night. You know, you went out on Monday night,

you sat at a bar, you got wings or a burger, you talk shit, you know, it was great. That went away. I don't understand how the fuck that went away. Well, there was no competition either. Two other channels was the competition back then. Right? It's still, hey.

It's on ESPN now. And they got rid of the classic Monday night song too, you know. What was it? I don't remember. You were ready for some football? Yeah. Something like that. Well, now they have Sunday night.

This is how much the country changed. Well, when I was growing up, Sunday night, you watch fucking Lawrence Welk, and then you watch whatever the fucking do with the animals. Right, Mammal. No, no fucking M animal. The guy on NBC, what was his name, Lorne Whatever, Wild Kingdom. That's what America did. Now they said, fuck Wild Kingdom.

Kids don't need to know about Mountain Lions. It's because we got Discovery Channel. No, no. It's a family night, but now they're going to be here. put football on and I get it I get it's all for Vegas you know I always say this Thursday night is the last supper whether it's college football or right or football that's how they get you then then they give you a Friday night off and then Saturday they nail one hand Saturday late show they nail the other one then you bet Hawaii to come

back they nail your head then Sunday you got the morning they nail one foot they nail the other foot they stick a cross in your heart yeah Monday night football's the fucking thorn that's all it's a same thing. It's all, it's the same thing. When you're betting Hawaii late night on a Saturday night, you've got a fucking gambling problem, okay? You got to wait until four in the morning

and get the fucking score in Hawaii. Oh my God, I remember that shit. So that's what happened with me. Once I didn't gamble or once I didn't have those people around me that I would cheer for them. Then I said, well, I can't watch a fucking game anymore. That's it.

And that's why I don't like. I swear to God, I love the UFC. but I don't like it on Fox Sports when they put the line under it I don't like that What does that mean the line under it was that? They put the betting line up That's it

That's the end of the sport Now it becomes something else I enjoy it as a sport I talk a lot of shit But I've only probably bet two bets on the UFC If you didn't bet Frank Yeager Against Sean Shirt You fucked up

Right there you fucked up Listen He was on the climb You fucked up right there I've never bet on an MMA fight I'm because I take one You're American. Yeah, you're Pete Rose Jr.

Yeah, exactly. I'm from Cincinnati. All the fame, baby, Hall of Fame. You got to think about that shit. Yeah, exactly. Is it kind of weird doing something that people are betting on? Well, I'll tell you, it is. Just to back up.

I used to teach high school math if you didn't know that. And I always tell people like, I'm a guy in this world who at one point in time would put my signature on a piece of paper. The kid did not want to take home. It was called Progress Report. Right. And then you fast.

Fast forward and several years later, I'm the guy who a kid would be standing in line for several hours for to get my signature. This is really, really weird juxtaposition in life. I can remember the first time that I actually went to Vegas. And, I mean, I've seen, like, you know, see my face on billboards and I've been to, like, Tops, the trading card company and had trading cards and my face on, like, blackjack tables and poker chips. And the first time I walked in and saw, like, betting lines on me.

And fortunately, I was the favorite the first time. I don't think I could have handled looking up and being like, wow, I'm the plus 570. Really? So, but yeah, it's weird just to see that transition, but at some point in time, you get used to the fact that it's just part of the game. I just, it's like they took the virginity away from me.

For a guy like me, and I like, you know what, I get it, but, you know, it's like I'm always a guest of Joe's. I'm a guest to Dan. When I see Dana, I always say, thank you very much for the tickets to the fight. I always behave myself because I have to be better than, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's how I think in my head. When I take you somewhere, you've got to be better than him. You got to, you know, it's like I used to work for my in-laws 30 years ago.

And they always said, you were the hardest worker I had because I took pride in that. Because I didn't want them to say, he don't work hard. He's just a brother-in-law. So my mentality is, so when I started going to UFC, I was fucking around, but I would never bet. I tell people I bet to fuck around the videos, but I always felt guilty if I bet. So for me, the first time I saw the lines at a UFC, fight, I just flipped. I just

fucking flip because it becomes something else in my mind. It's not just two guys for the enjoyment. Now people are going to bail out on a Saturday night fight. Do you follow me? So now, instead of us just watching it because Rich Franklin's fighting somebody, now I'm watching Rich Franklin

because I'm bailing out on Rich Franklin. I'm going to bet Rich Franklin to get me back college football. I lost college football all day. On Saturday, I probably lost Friday night NBA basketball. So, Back to this shit. This is very interesting here.

Get in here, too. I'm in. I'm in. You know, I love you to death. I love you back. When did you go to college at? You see. University of Cincinnati.

No shit. So you're all the way to the end. Oh, yeah. My friend went to you. I, I didn't live on campus. I commuted there and drove in every day, drove home every day, and got my undergrad and my graduate there. And math.

You're that good at math? No, I got my undergrad and math. And I think I could have got my graduate. I'm a fairly intelligent fellow. However, something happens to people between the time they get their bachelor's in mathematics and their masters in mathematics, they start doing things like tucking their jeans inside their socks and leaving one half of their shirt out, you know, like stuff like that, like snot on the handkerchief visible for the classes.

Getting a little Einstein-ish, a little kooky. You know, the guy who's like figuring out like, you know, theory of relativity but can't tie his shoes or find his way home or remember his address. Boulder, Colorado. Yeah. So I kind of, it's like, it's kind of like, you know, when you've gone out drinking and you know when to like cut off. Yeah, what's that like?

No, I'm just kidding. You know what actually? Honestly, I've never drank. Oh, okay. I've never drank. I've never drank my whole life. Right. And so I was like the best friend you could have had in college.

Sure. You're a ride home. Exactly. Exactly. Now, when you were teaching math, were you active in any, were you wrestling or you were just going to a gym after? Yeah, no, I, so I got, The first UFC was the year I graduated from high school.

It was that year my senior high school. And so I was, after, legitimately, it was like the rudy of my high school football team. I didn't even start. I graduated, weighed 150 pounds, soaking wet, and wasn't very fast, wasn't very strong, didn't have the God-given talent. Hit a growth spurt my freshman year of college. By the time I was like midway through my sophomore year, I came back, and I looked like the guy who ate Rich Franklin rather than Rich Franklin.

And people walk up to me like, whoa, what happened to you? But I got involved in martial arts my senior year of high school. And then I was just one of those guys. Like, I went to college. I trained. And once, if I take on a hobby, like, I'm either all in or I don't bother with it. And so, I mean, I literally, I went to campus, took my classes, got my butt off of campus. And I was training six hours a day, every day.

My senior year, one of my friends had dared me to take a fight, a local amateur fight. I did. I did well. Led to another. Led to another. Started teaching. Started, had a professional fight. my first pro fight I made 200 bucks I was like whoa I can make money doing this like chiching and just led to

another fight led to another fight and I was fighting the whole time I was teaching and by my fourth year of teaching I thought I wonder if I can actually quit doing you know do this full time I picked up a guy who was kind of managing me at the time managing my quote unquote career and I talked to him about it consult to him he said you know what I think you do a really good job at this so you know give us some thought and we took some we took some strategically planned fights that year to kind of position me into the UFC noticing who I was and you got to remember man back then like I'm fighting in like 19 you know 1998 was my first fight I'm I'm showing up at places where there weren't a weight classes like there be a you know I would walk in at like 205 pounds fighting

somebody it was 260 like this these things happened right and it was just it was a different sport back then where you just brought your own gloves you know like you're like here I'll fighting these gloves and they're like okay check he's got his own gloves and it's like did anybody check those for actual padding you know it was that kind of stuff all the time and uh the ufc was immediately televised right it wasn't something it was like invented for television right or no no no it was when did it start you said it started 93 93 was the first one and actually really like the ufc if you look at the history of the ufc like the gracy family who is i mean these these guys are smart the ufc was designed basically to showcase that martial art as

what it was and they were selecting people in various martial arts to basically show they took a guy like coys who is very unassuming and said we're going to take a guy we're not we're not even going to take our like I mean it would imagine like because you look back in the day and you look at the early UFC fighters you look like a guy like Ken Shamrock and you expect him to be the toughest guy I mean that guy he looked apart and he was legit like he was a legit mMA guy for all those early athletes at the time you know but they didn't want somebody to look like that out of the Brazilian jiu jizu camps they want to something. somebody that where people are like what this guy like this guy's beating guys like Dan

seven like right you know the beast he's submitting the beast like really and so they did a good job with that but you know the UFC went through that period where they were you know they were banned in 48 states and this is the time yeah this is the time well they had no rules right well they I mean it started with like three rules you know I remember no gouging eyes no biting no fish hooking I saw a fight with something I was just stomping on this guy's balls yeah yeah no fish hoating right Yeah, that was the fight when the guy ripped his ponytail? Dude, oh my God.

Every time I think of that, I laugh. No, he, he, I can't remember the fight. I'm long, oh, man, it's on tip of my tongue, too. It's not Eric Paulson. Who was the blonde hair guy? And he had his hand, like, woven right into, this guy had a ponytail. And it was like, you know, he fought the next time he fought, he had a nice little trim crew cut.

You know, he's like, yeah, I'm done with that. So it was illegal back there. This handle. Yeah. But, yeah, they moved towards sanctioning, but, you know, like, I quit my teaching job in 02. And the UFC, the first ultimate fighter was 05. Yeah, 05. No.

Oh, yeah, 05. So it was like, it wasn't until 05 where the popularity of this sport started taking off. And at that time, like, I'm walking away from a solid job. You know, a good degree job, a career, and telling my dad, like, hey, by the way, I'm going to quit my job to go fight for a living. And my dad just was not a happy camper at the time. Right. You know, so, but yeah, it was definitely a different sport back then. But it started a hobby.

I had no clue that I would do this professionally. These kids that you were teaching those years, you should keep in touch with them? Some of them. Yeah, I got a few that hit me up on email here and there. You know, I got about a half a dozen that stay in constant contact with me, maybe another half a dozen that would just sporadically kind of hit me up here and there. Not to take you off thing, but today I finally got a hold of my eighth grade teacher. Oh, no.

Did you apologize? No, he was one of my main. dudes. Wait, Barone or? No, I took him to meet my seventh grade. I was real tight with my teacher. I was real tight with my teacher. Oh, okay. Real tight. Because I would figure, I would go one or two ways. Like, you'd be in my class, I would either love you to death or I'd be like, man. No, once we... This guy makes my job. No, no. I would bust your balls in the beginning. Once you took me outside and said,

I'm here to help you. Yeah. I'll get you from the C and A. We're done. We're done. We're good. That's it. Now nobody could fuck with him. And that was my thing with these teachers. Mr. T, once he told me you could do whatever you want but this needs to be done done Barone I Well you told you him at the beginning I fucking threw away his car keys

Last day of school With all his fucking keys I threw him in a garbage pail He never found him He had to go home get his wife Didn't talk to me But the first day of school I was anticipating he's going to fucking kill me

He never mentioned it again When I found out he was in the Hall of Fame for basketball It was all over Yeah Like it was all over After I'm like, what are you in the Hall of Fame for? Free throws.

Are you fucking kidding me? That was it. And then this guy, I like this guy because he was the mayor of Weehawken. Wehawken is a town in New Jersey when you come out of the bridge right there, tunnel. And my father died in that town. We were in Union City, and he died in that hospital of a heart attack. But he was the mayor of Wehawken before they developed that to look into New York City. So he was the first guy that started taking.

racketeering and all that shit. They arrested him in the classroom. Because he's also a teacher. He was also an eighth grade teacher. Wow. But he was solid. Like he was the mayor of Wehorpe. But North Bergen is so corrupt that they were like,

we'll play ball with you. You know, but once you come on down there and teach. And he went to know, why would a mayor of a town be an eighth-grade fucking teacher? Well, there's like the 73 regs you're talking about. Like, yeah, yeah, you're getting on out there and pitch for us. He also short stuff. I never before my life.

Just go on there. Give it a try. It sounds that hard. It's a ball. It's like throwing. Just throw the fucking ball. Can you believe that Bench used to play first base? Nobody remembers that.

And the guy that would relieve Betch was just a couple pussy hairs as good as Bench, Bill Plummer. Bill Plummer. Bill Plummer would rock with the best of him. Doesn't his son play for somebody? His son's a quarterback. Jake Plummer. Yeah. He's a son for a while.

I think so. Something to do with that. But that's amazing that. I wonder what those kids look at you as Like when they're at a bar now And all of a sudden they're watching UFC Well you gotta remember I was fighting when I was teaching I just wasn't in the UFC

But I was fighting in these smaller shows So you would go to class of a black guy All the time No teeth and shit Yeah that right there Kids love that shit I got all my teeth Kids love that shit

If I had a teach that came with a black guy Fuck yeah I come in on a Monday Just kick the can over when I got a black eye Be like I had a bad weekend Well especially in Because a lot of math teachers aren't that inspiring. They're not that cool.

The cool teachers are like the history teachers usually, like some of the English. Yeah. But if I had a cool math teacher. Dude, listen, man. Once you can threaten the kids, it makes it easier. You know how hard it is to make math cool? Like, for real. Oh, I hated geometry.

Algebra was quick. I just never understood shapes. I was fucking terrible. You know what? At least shapes you can see, man. Like algebra, like, to me, it makes sense. But to a kid, like, because I've been, so I always thought I was a good teacher. because I had kids in my classroom who would just sit there and they're looking at you like,

like you're speaking Chinese, right? And at that level, I'm like, I don't understand how this algebra can confuse you this much. But I've been there before. I've been there just at a 500-level math course when I was taking, when I was in college, when I was getting smoked by all these graduate, you know, these people that already, they were taking as a graduate course, and I'm the worst one in the class because I'm still an undergrad. And they have like a year or two more math than me. And so I know what it's like to be that guy in a class,

and that's what made me a great teacher, I think. But yeah, it's no matter how cool you are as an individual, you still got to come in and be like, hey, guess what? Today, guys, we're going to learn how to find the fociva hyperbola. No, I swear, it's fun. Trust me. Just trust me. Let's get into this.

You know, math is how you look at it, though, guys. Matt is how you look at it. Not for nothing, Rich. I hope I don't offend nobody. When I was poked up all those years, when I'd get coked up, that's what I would do, math. A beautiful mind. D.S. Just gets a whole walls.

Coked up to the gills. Coked up to the gazills. You'd wake up the next day and be pages of math everywhere. Guys, we can pay the gas bill. I figured it out. Governments and set payrolls and budgets. He's got a cure for cancer in a notebook somewhere. But let me tell you something about math.

And I tell, it's like the other day, my in-laws made a fucking statement. And they're like, maybe the baby's having a hard time speaking because Joey's teaching her Spanish. You know, and I believe this shit. I've been taking Jiu-Jitsu for 15 months, and it's finally starting to click. Yeah. Okay? I'm the type of guy.

I ain't fucking Johnny Genius. So my algebra? I took algebra my freshman year. Remember, you could be a moron, and they would give you college prep courses your freshman and sophomore year. No, I was good at Matt. So they gave me algebra one.

I remember the teacher he was gay as fuck. And the only reason why I went was Lisa Tritches in that class. Her pussy must have weighed 50 fucking pounds. And she used to wear clogs. I would just go in there just to see what her monkeys look like. Glenn Conti, stinky. She would walk in the class and we'd just look at you. I just see the size of fucking pussy.

And that's why we went. I didn't do too good in the first two quarters. And I would fuck with the teacher. And one day he pulled me aside. He's like, I might be a faggot, but I'll bitch lapped you to death. And I was like, done. We're solid. And I asked him, can he...

Quit looking at that pussy. He started paying attention. Yeah. And he asked me if I come in one day and work with him. I worked with him. And after that, he opted to be my algebra teacher for three years. Once you get math, you got it. It's just getting it.

And for some people, it takes some people longer than others. And once you see it, same thing happened to me. I've learned the biggest lessons about life through math, because math makes you analytical. When I went to college, I was an econ major, right? And I didn't know, I couldn't get it, guys. I couldn't get it. And I was a C-U-O-P dude, a minority dude,

so I went to the department. I go, look, dog, I can't get this. And they said, no problem. You get two hours of tutoring. We're going to hook you up with an Arab guy. And right there, I was like, I'm quitting them. Because I didn't know nothing about Arabs or Persians. I know nothing.

I'm a fucking Cuban kid from Jersey. And the guy's name was Mohammed Zabib. And that dude worked in me three or four hours the same. Did he threaten you like the other guy? Dog, let me tell you something. After a week, me and him became, it was the biggest lesson ever. I ate some of the fucking Habib food. I didn't eat the hummus.

I never succumbed to hummus. Once you eat hummus, you're done. Have you ever tried hummus ever? Yes, it's disgusting. Okay. Really? Cubans invented hummus. Garbanzo beans.

You don't like hummus. We ate hummus. That's natural. I don't like it, though. He don't like ranch. He don't like ranch dressing. That's like being Asian and not liking rice or something. No, I don't like hummus.

It's disgusting. Wow. What did he call? Like, Arabian spackle? Spackle. It's Arabian spackle. You see those houses in the kingdom and all those movies that made a fucking hummus. When you see those little shacks they got out there.

Instead of a gingerbread house, it's a hummus house. So this teacher, everyone knew he was gay? And this is back in the day? Yeah, you know, he had sick glasses. He felt comfortable saying, hey, I'm a faggat. No, he didn't tell me. Oh, he didn't say that. He told me afterward by myself.

Okay. I must have goofed on him or something. He goes, hey, man, I might be a faggot, but I'll light you up. I was like, okay. And he said, you know, if you need help with this, come to me. Like, a man, don't be a fucking faggot. So I went to him, and he helped me. And then once I caught on to man, he was done.

I was getting bees and shit. He was, like, blown away. Like, what happened? And I'd be an idiot in the get-go. But once I get going, you're finished. You know what I'm saying? They're finished, though. I'm not good in the first round.

I'm slow out of the gates too, man. If I can last to the one minute left in the second round and get my composure and remember what muscle memory you taught me, you're a finisher, you're finisher. I'll fuck you up, I'll get you. I'll get you. If the win lasts long and shit, then I'm good, you know. But it's people always, I hate when people like get turned off by math.

Math is fucking easy, man. If you get in that motherfucker. I know what you're talking about being the worst in the class because in algebra, they tried to move me from regular to like the advanced stuff and I lasted like two days and then I had to go down. But in geometry, even in the regular class,

I was the one kid in back. I don't understand one word they're talking about. And it feels terrible. Like science was like that for me too. I wasn't really good at science. What about, what about chemistry, dude? That's when shit gets fucking nutty.

I said that. That was true. Can you handle chemistry equations? I can now. Oh my God. Funny story. So when I resigned from teaching, I resigned in O2, and then I was still working in at-risk program for like, I worked in an at-risk program up until about, I don't know,

about a week before I won my title. I was teaching two nights a week. And so these kids, they were sitting in this classroom on computers, and they do all their curriculum on computers, but the teachers are there as to be like, you know, to help them, like, you know, tutor them and help them with tests and all that kind of stuff. And they do their homework on the computer, their tests on the computer. And so I was the only math certified teacher in the entire building. So all students would wait until my days of the week to ask math questions and science questions.

And chemistry obviously is one of the high school courses they've got to take. So they come in and they're like, I'm working on this. So these two items form an ionic bond. With this item, it's a covalent bond. I'm like, I'm like, oh, my God. I'm going to have to go back to my electron configuration. So I had to go back in and relearn. I had to relearn like a high school chemistry just to be able to tutor these kids.

But fortunately when you have a math background, like it translates. to sciences across the board fairly well. Right. But of, you know, except for biology. Yeah. So,

biology was terrible. That's just a lot of words. That's as far as I know. What subject did you like? I was a history, English, and then when I got to high school and they started having video classes,

that's all I cared about. You're good at that? I could get, you're good at watching TV? No, well, like I like, make it,

but like, I was the type of guy. If I didn't like it, I could do enough work to get like a C plus B minus, and then I was happy. And just if I, if I,

interested in the class, but like cool history classes, cool English classes I would actually work at, but I was lucky enough that I could do the basic minimum and get like a B-minus, and I was like that. I didn't like geography early on, because I didn't know why, I didn't really give a fuck about where everything was, yeah. I didn't give a fuck. I gave a fuck when New Jersey was. I could care.

Then all of a sudden you're stranded in Kentucky and nowhere to eat steak. Yeah. You're like, yeah, I wish hell of time. This is where Paducah is that Mr. Smith was talking. about my sophomore year. It was very darn no Asians here. It's amazing, like, how you look back now at your grammar school

and your high school and you're like I wish. I always like school. I always enjoyed going to class. It's social. Absolutely. It's social. You go and you, you know, and some teachers, if they let you, you broke their balls, and some teachers told you from the jump, don't break my balls.

You know, and I'm going to, the grammar school I went to his little rough and tumble. And I saw, there was one teacher he's dead. now Earl Kingwell, and he was a high school basketball ref, and he would push kids around, and I saw him get beat up by a parent. I saw a gym teacher. I saw a gym teacher get lit up by Carmine Balzano, and they banged his head against the wall 15 times. For what?

For hitting his son. Oh, wow. I saw some good shit. I agree. So my era was that era when we could get hit, and then they quit swatting kids. Like, as, I don't know, maybe like my junior or senior year? A teacher can not do anything.

Oh, not now. You can scare a kid. I would feel really bad for a teacher today. The thing with a teacher is that he has to cut this shit. It's like going to prison. You walk in the first fucking spitball. You've got to stop what you're doing. Here it is.

I will take one of your motherfuckers to throw you out the fucking window. When I was growing up, that's how they did it. Now you can't do that. You got no leverage. Listen, you walk into class with the blind. black eye. Whether you could do it or not, they're going to believe you will. No, that speaks. That's the best thing in the world. Or a stab wound. Like a knife still in your neck? Or like you got shot the week before or something like that.

Yeah, listen, I got I got stabbed on my way to school today, but I'm going to remove this and we're still going to do algebra because that's how bad ass I am. Remember, I still got this knife on me. Yeah. When I went to high school, we had, there was more respect to the teachers. The grammar school where I went to, it was a working class white mentality. Yeah. Like, there was only like maybe 10 Spanish kids in that school. They were all Irish, Italian, a few Jews, some Germans.

So, you know, the teacher was more than your parent during the week. That's eight hours a fucking day. Absolutely. And that's what these kids don't understand. You know, I got to get along with them. But it was after we tried to push their buttons. We tried to, especially in grammar school. I had Levito, who I just spoke to him.

He had a week. But on Fridays, he would let me sing my eyes adored you. Frankie Valley of the four seasons. So we were straight. You know what I'm saying? Plus, he was a member of the Ecology Club and he'd take us to these fucking things. Kingwall had a problem with,

I had a problem when I went to Catholic school. That sucked dick. That sucked dick. Those nuns are fucking brutal. Fuck those bitches. But no, everything else was great, man. It's amazing that you went from teaching. I went to how these kids feel today.

That's what I... Yeah. The email you and shit and said, I've been back in the school a couple times. Like, CNBC did a special on me once, and we went back to school, and somebody else did a special on me, and we went back to the school, and it was pretty cool. Like, you run into some kids, like, the first time I went there, I ran to some kids who were still there, that were, like, freshmen when I was teaching, and now they're, like, about to graduate.

And then it's cool, like, even after the fact you're going to school now, and obviously they're, like, rumors and legendary rumors of, you know, fights I got into with students and stuff like that. It's pretty awesome. They asked you about that, or are you clearing some? shit up or you're just letting the myth live. I let it right. Somebody asked me how I went from, I was on a show one time going to interview and somebody said, so how did you go from teaching to mixed martial arts? I'm like, well, I said, I had this student in my class who was very disrespectful. We got into this altercation

and it was pretty bad. I ended up going to court and they basically mandated an anger management course which led to some martial arts training and so it led to a career in MMA. And I'm like telling this story like straight face and they're looking at me like, and the interviewer was like I don't have anything to segue here. You just see the look on his face. That's inspiring. Well, the UFC must have loved it because a lot of the criticism was like barbarians and like too, too intense. But like to have a guy who has a master's degree and was a high school math teacher that must have been huge.

Came in handy because, you know, I was on like the Donny Doyle show once and I did the Bill Riley show with Dana one time. And we did that. Like I did a lot of stuff with the UFC. with like the associated press and all that and talking because you can talk intelligently about the sport and about the safety measures that they take and all those kinds of things and so that's actually a little bit of because of working with one FC in Asia we're kind of running into the same problem so I end up doing a lot of similar types of interviews over there talking about how safe the sport is and what measures we go through for training for the referees and the doctors and pre-medical all that kind of stuff and so you know we there was

a lot of time put into into legitimizing this sport in public opinion, so to speak. Is there any fatalities at all in that sport? I think there have been a couple. Like, there was, I know there was one in Russia for sure, but any of the

fatality, I think there may have been two documented cases that dealt with fights, but that's kind of low for a full contact sport, right? It is. But here's the thing, like, you'll find like that a lot of these, a lot of serious injuries and stuff like that, They happen in organizations that don't have the rigorous, like, pre-medical testing or just the testing that you had to go through.

Because, like, you're getting ready to get into a fight. I can sign up for a fight, and perhaps I have, like, I'm like this close to having an aneurysm in my brain. And then suddenly I'm half a round in, and I get hit three or four times, and that puts me over the top. You know, so people can sit and say, well, MMA is dangerous. Well, if this guy would have done the proper medical testing to begin with, then you never would have had this problem. You know, this is a lot of football players dying recently, like a lot of high school football players. players. Yeah.

Like, they're dying on the field because it's just so hot. That's crazy. You would think more would happen in fighting. I wasn't a UFC fan when it first came out. I turned it on one day and said, are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking crazy? I was like, I'm not watching this fucking. And I also, when I came from Cuba, I joined up in martial arts.

I loved it. And when I went to Jersey, I was in this shankarrookor. I loved all that shit. I used to go to tournaments. I was a martial art nerd. You know, I had all the weapons and the stars. Me too, man. I've been to like every flea market

East Coast of West Coast Oh that fucking shit man Ninja stars from all of them This when I'm bored I'll just go to the martial arts Hall of Fame down here on Burbank They got everything Everything was invented

Three blocks from here Like that martial art store You know that three blocks from here It's the older It's Gene Labells Oh really Gene LaBelle's in there every fucking day You go in there

And they still got Bruce Lee pictures That was it They used to walk those fucking streets You make that right on Burbank You make the left on Burbank Boulevard Does everything there's jujitsu there's shodokan karate who teaches

fucking shodakhan karate well I started off in shornru which is almost the same thing go shenruh shodakhan these are all the things that you know now taekwondo but I remember there was no jujitsu when I

know you gotta go to the Bronx like some there was a Brazilian dude in the Bronx that took this shit take people down always judo Cubans love judo so it was always a Cuban a judo place in my neighborhood

down by 7 Street, some Cuban guy that was in Russia. But it's amazing that I didn't like it at first. And it wasn't until I watched, and I was going like, you know, when you're going through Spike, and I watched Rich Franklin. No, no, no.

I watched French, Rich Franklin like a week later, though. I was very impressed. And I remember that you remind me with a dear friend of mine. My first UFC fight that I caught off the cuff was Anderson's first fight. All Lieben. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah.

What is this? No, you have seen. I called Joe the next day. I watched that shit last night. What the fuck? I didn't say, so. I told you, I've been telling you for three fucking years to put it on. I told you, I've been asking you for years if you want to come watch it.

I wouldn't go watch it. Oh, you want to talk about us the Reds. We got new shit. I remember him taking me to a fight one time, and I just left. But he gave tickets to his loanmour guy, and he kept asking me. They said they didn't see him. I'm like, I went. They kept asking me about movies and shit.

I didn't want to be bothered. I just couldn't go. I couldn't sit there. I didn't know what it was all about. It was Chuck, it was, not, O'Dell was fighting. The other guy, Captain America. Randy. Was fighting somebody.

I don't even know. And I was like, I'm not sitting through this shit. Where was the fight? MGM Grand or something like that. V-Tor? No, no, I don't. Because that was, because when Randy fought V-Tor, I think he fought V-Tor at the MGM,

and he also fought Tito at the M-G-M-G-M-M-M. Vitor is the one when his eye got scratched and it ended in like 19 seconds or something because his yeah the doctor the doctor wouldn't let him continue he lost his belt and because of it yeah

and after that I watched maybe like ultimate fighter and then I got into it I really started watching and like wow and I became a fan but it took me a long time

like it really did like people kept asking don't you go to the fight And I'm like, I wouldn't fucking go to those things, man. I'm telling you, that's crazy. I saw a Tank Abbott. And that's what pissed me off. You mean you saw him in the cage?

Yeah, and I was like, I'll never watch that. There's no need for that. There's no need for the rest of it. What is that? For those on the outside, what is... Tank Abbott is just a guy with a beer. It looks like somebody was a biker. Yeah.

I didn't want to see that. I wanted to see like a martial art guy. Right. He was like the great American lazy hope. He was like the Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Basically. There you go. Oh, they have a Kimbo slice versus tank out, but that has to be terrible.

But it's really funny how it grew on me. Kimbo won that, actually. And then I went to a fight in Miami. We were shooting a man show in Miami, and Joe was like, come over and watch the fight. And it was the guy who was really tough that wouldn't get knocked out. The little, fuck. Someone who kept my little Hawaiian guy or something that just wouldn't get knocked out. Not BJ.

And there was no, and there was nobody there. Miami. At this UFC shack was there by himself. Like there was nobody there. Maybe I fought

because that was my first fight. In Miami. UFC 42 at the American Airlines Arena where to heat play? 2005,

maybe. Three. Something like that. Yeah. That could be 2003 The Man Show. Yeah. Could be.

We're rogan those guys. That was it. Tendence was real sparse. There was a free concert. There was a concert

that was like at the time that was like five real popular 90s bands, you know, like 7 Mary 3. Third-eye blind and all that? Yeah, and they're like doing a free concert right next to the, right next to the

stadium there or the arena or whatever. And yeah, our attendance was maybe like right around 8,000, like half capacity. And what was the first thing, what was your first whatever the fuck they call it? You know, they have a fancy name for it. Did you study

Mutai at first? You were a high school wrestler. No, I started. So I started in my traditional karate. I was doing Okinawa Shornu karate. I got a second degree black belt on that. But about, I'll tell you what happened, man, about three years in my training, my instructor, his son had come home from the Marine Corps. And about the same time, you know, I saw the first couple UFCs. And I thought, like, I was just doing this, like, because I wasn't a big kid, you know, I'm like, if I ever get in a fight, man, I better learn how to handle myself a little bit.

So there was a jihitsu school down the street. And after I saw the first two UFCs, I'm like, you know what, I better start learning how to fight on the ground. Then one day my instructor's son come home from the Marine Corps, and he had been doing Muay Thai. And so, you know, I'm, you want to spar? I'm like, yeah, sure, let's spar, you know. And so I'm out there, and I'm doing this whole, you know, karate stance, like cat stance, you know. And all of a sudden, he just drops a shin kick on my thigh. Boom.

Never felt anything like that before. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, folded. We continue spar. And I look at him and I was like, man, you got to show me how to do these kicks, man. Like, I've never seen it. And so then he started explaining what Muay was and, you know, I started doing that and everything. It just really just started branching out and evolving from there. You guys brought up throwing stars.

Does anybody teach that shit at all? Is that just in the movies and shit? No, you just watch movies and you're fine. Listen, I watched American Ninja One, Two, Three, and Four. Right. And so I'm pretty sure that's like a Ph.D. A Ninja Throwing Stars. Right, absolutely.

What about The Last Dragon? You guys ever seen that one? Absolutely. I saw that in a black movie theater. There you go. In Harlem. Like, I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was, I'm going to walk out of this.

This was awesome, man. It was a great man. It was a great movie, phenomenal, phenomenal. They should redo that movie, man. No, no. Yeah, they should. In fact, my first night ever at the comedy store. I walked in, I saw Eddie Griffin, Don Barris,

but the guy in the audience was Typoch. Typoch was there with Eddie Griffin. The dude, Van Lee was in that movie. She was terrible. The show gun of Harlem. Show enough. Show enough. Who's a badest mopholes old down around this town?

I mean, that was. It's just, and it's a great spoof. Fucking Shogun. I saw it in a black movie. That was my black movie to the days. Yeah, you go a lot. Come on, 84. Which one?

Shogun of Harlem. 84, 85. No, it was Last Dragon. Last Dragon. I'm sorry, Shogun of Harlem. 85. I told you. From 84 to 85, I worked in New York City,

but I didn't go to work until 5. Yeah. So I'm an early rise. So I would go into the city at 12, get a nickel bag on 181st. Beautiful. Ro, it smoked, and go to the Cuban place. and there's a movie theater.

You're the last dragon. Come on, though. There's a movie theater right there on 181st Street. It was like three movies for fucking 50 cents. Black people yelling and screaming. The best movie I ever saw in there

was Rambo. When he comes out of the weeds, when he comes out of the mud, when it's eye off there. Black people went fucking bananas. Till this day, I was so happy. I was there.

I would, yeah, yeah. My man just did not do that. My man. just did not do that. My man just did not do that. You know, that was before, like, people throwing N-words around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was still great. It was a beautiful life. And I remember I was sitting in the back. I was stoned for the week. And I walk in and ramble puts him around the guy, and he stabs him, and he opens his eyes in the mud. They went, I never saw nothing like that. And, you know, it's amazing that I've talked about this before.

Black people, the ghetto they are, they're like one white person. And it's the goofiest guy. like Marilyn Martinez had a ghetto husband from Compton. Uh-huh. Ghetto with dreds and shit. Like, fuck that white motherfucker. Except.

Adam Sandler was his god. When I did it at the longest yard, his wife called. And she's like, listen, David wants to be an extra in the movie. I'm like, Marilyn, what are you talking about? It's a fucking football. What's wrong with Dave? She's like, Joey, I don't know if you know this. He loves Adam Sandler.

I go, put him on. I go, Dave, what up, what up, dog? You like Adam Sandler? that's my motherfucker dog fuck Eddie Murphy they love they love him they love him they love him baby talk I brought him on this set as my probation officer I made him shake

a comb his hair I go take the dreads out and I'll bring you on the set and I brought him on the set as my probation office and introduced him to Bert Reynolds and Bert Reynolds and him talk for four fucking hours till this day well he's dead now he would always tell me you're my motherfucker for doing that dog so every time

I see like a real hard looking gangster he's at home laughing I'm not like Happy Gilmore. He likes the Beatles. They got some fucking freaky thing. They can't help. They can't help it. Like, I met a black dude that was ghetto

and he was telling me about the spashing pumpkins one time. Really? And I'm sitting there going, oh, my God. I was just into NWA in your car. Yeah. And you're talking about the smashing pumpkins rock. So, bro, different strokes. The next time you see a ghetto black guy, go up to me.

You like three's company? You like three's company? Tell me your secret. Man, that's my motherfucking show. I can't take it. Charo Bonnetta is my bitch. Way before that dude from Atlanta started dressing up like a woman.

What's the story, Rich Franklin? Look at you. You all right today? I'm good, man. I'm happy you fucking came out. I'm having a good time. No, this is what... Listen, this is... This is a conversation.

This is what people want to hear. This is just a conversation. There's no drama. There's no... So in 1984, when you took that punch to the story, who wants to hear that fucking framing? It's just did you or did you not see the last draft? That's all there is to it.

That's a real martial arts. Now, you're still training? I am. Jitsu, too? Oh, yeah. Where do you go around here? You know what? I haven't found a good, like a bounce to a couple places.

I went to Georgia Oliver's place and Hollywood B.J. There liked it. Went there a couple times. Been to Higgen Machadoza's place. That's why I go. Yeah. Like, yeah. Love Hegan.

Good dude. Yeah, I like it a lot. You know, I've been to a couple other places. I've been to Justin's place, fortunes, boxing. Really? Yeah. I like that up there. It's just, you know, man, the part of the problem is with Hollywood here is it, or L.A.

When you are in this area, if you want to go get a boxing workout in, it's your whole day. By the time you drive there, find parking, you know, screw around with all this stuff, get your workout in, and then drive back. Like, you're going to get caught in traffic both ways or whatever. It's just, it's a pain, man. So it's like, you know, I'm out here doing other things too. And rather than training six days a week twice a day, it's like, I'm going to do that. I might as well just stay at the gym all day long.

So, yeah, but I'll spend some, you know, I spend a lot of time just general fitness stuff too. I like going down to the little workout area, Santa Monica by the pier where the bars and stuff are. Have you guys ever been down there? I don't think so, no. Oh, my God. Dude, they have like these. Yeah, it's Muscle Beach on Venice, right? Oh, Venice Beach?

No, it's not Venice, not Muscle Beach, but it's right by the pier. They have, like, a military-style climbing rope. They have this, like, metal apparatus and stuff that you climb up and they have, like, rings, like gymnast rings. And you guys go down there on a weekend, and you will see. some wicked stuff. You lived on that? I live on, I have an apartment in the Westwood Century City area.

It's funny because I've been, I started Jitza up here, but I went to a Higin seminar and he had me. Yeah. And he kept calling me, going to come by and I'm like, fuck, Beverly Hills.

I don't want to fucking drive from the Valley of Beverly Hills. It's a drive, man. He fucking kept calling me. Yeah. Where are you? I wait. I wait for my best friend,

Joey Diaz. I wait. Ha-ha. Where are you? and the fucking day I walked in I walked in at 10 to 11 he goes look at your phone I was just calling you

that's and I had to go and you know what I'm hooked he's good dude too man he cracks me up he's a big dude he teaches me big guy moves no breathing no flying duty yeah

you know he just has he's not don't flying arm bars or anything no he's taught me some shit that he cuts the drama yeah like everybody else you know listen and I realize

I go when you go to when you go to Cabrini he's 145 pounds Cabrini's going to teach you. Cabrini's stuff. Who I love, I love Cabrini. He's a bad motherfuckerger. But then, you know, if you go to Regan, he's going to teach you those moves. And he kept bugging me.

I have exercises for you, my friend. So Tuesday, I have knee surgery, just meniscus. They're going to fuck up the arthritis. But I'll be back in three weeks. I'll be over it. Meniscus isn't bad. No, no, it's great. But I love him.

Justin is one of, I feel. one of the best guys in Hollywood. Yeah, he's a solid dude, man. Like, to me, like, as a friend, like, I go there, I call him once a week, I go there once a week. Like, I was there the other day at 6.30 in the morning. Yeah. 6.30. I don't work out.

I just go sit with him, talk with him. I play with the fucking dogs if they're there. I've known Justin for six or seven years, and I think I've seen him throw people out of that gym. It's a beautiful thing. What does he do? He fucking goes off, dog. Yeah?

Well, then get the fuck out. And I like that approach of people, because in this town, nobody says things to you because it feels that it might come back to hurt them lately. You won't do you shoot your movie there or whatever. Some people in this town speak their mind. That's why. Have you met McAfoli?

No. That's the dude. The old dude that's always there. The 6'4-6 guy that looks like a fucking... He's 60 years old. Black guy? White guy. That guy's shadow boxes, dirty minutes every day.

I'll call him once a week, too. Next time he goes, if you watch Friday night fights, when Mike Tyson's old trainer What's his name? The guy he went after his trainer died. He hosts, he does like commentate for Friday Night Fights on ESPN. Cool dude, real.

Got great stories about Saturday. Yeah, remember I quit watching boxing because I started doing him in a man. I know, but you still got a while. You got to go back to the fundamentals. Absolutely. I have a great boxing coach. Do you now?

Yeah, a guy out of Cincinnati. Really good. Okay. You know, it's amazing how when people look at techniques and different techniques like when GSP started utilizing the jab, you know, something as simple as the jab. All of a sudden everybody wanted to go train with Kenny Roach all of a sudden, but it's not Freddy Roach, I'm sorry, it's not Freddy, it's been there

for years. The Jab has been there for years, like the side kick, it's been there for years. And the psychic is a tremendous fucking weapon. You could do a thousand things with it, you know? But it's like when Machita came in, people couldn't believe how the karate thing, I saw it right from the, I saw it. I'm like, that's a point for it. fighter. I got that motherfuckerer because they used to drive me crazy when I was a kid.

Oh yeah. They come in, boom, or they fake, go back, come in, they trick you. Avoid damage. Yeah, they avoid the whole thing. But it's amazing how you just said that when you went into the Muay Thai, you kicked that fucking cat leg. Yeah, kick that cat leg. You had no weight on it. It's still fucking, oh my God. You guys have been kicked in the thigh? No, I did Taekwondo for a little bit and I wrestled in high school, but I was always... Kick him in the thigh, though. No, I'm all said. You good? You sure? Oh, no. I'm way too hard for that. I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, trust it.

I haven't. If you could give me the thighs, man. Yeah, yeah. It's bad, it's bad, and you'd be walking funny for a day or two. Oh, my God. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you now? 39. You still got two fights in front of you.

You can still go to more. I feel, I feel good enough that I could probably do more than that. Of course, I say that now when I'm not in the middle of fight camp, put me six weeks in the middle of fight camp, and I'm like, oh, oh, my God. And so explain fight camp to me. Like before every fight, well, see, here's a, you got, there are two times of fighters, man. Yeah. The fighters that fight, and then when they're done fighting, they just walk out of the gym. Right.

They don't show back up for another couple months. And those are usually the guys that are 40 pounds over their fight weight out of season. Right. You see somebody like, whoa, that guy fights at 205. They're like De Niro. Yeah. They're like, it's up and down. So you got those guys, and you got guys like me who never quit working.

Right. I'm always training and keeping myself. It's really the way to do it. Yeah, absolutely. It's a lifestyle of me, man. I'm super healthy with the way I eat. I'm very holistic with my nutrition. You know, I keep, like, I keep myself in line with God spiritually and all that kind of stuff.

Like, it really is truly a lifestyle, man. And, you know, I'm never partied too hard. You know, I work hard and I play hard, but my play is a different kind of play. I'm an adrenaline junkie, for sure, by nature. But I just, I don't let myself stray too far off of that path. And, but what you end up doing is you end up really. really clamping things down. And it depends.

Like for me, since I don't never let myself fall out of shape, I'm usually about an eight or nine week camp. There are guys that because they're so far out of shape, they spend like three weeks getting into shape. So it's like you're prepping for your prep. Right. But then you spend eight weeks like basically preparing

for a specific opponent. You know, typically like say you call it an eight week camp, like the first two weeks that camp might be just general, you know, like your coach is looking at the game. For me, my coaches look at the game plan. have kind of a broad sense, like, we're going to work some wrestling one day and some this and this. We're going to integrate these days. And then after you get past that two-week period, then everything starts, like, getting very specific.

Right. We're not just working wrestling. We're working these specific wrestling drills, and you start honing in on things. And, you know, it just depends on the phase that you're in with camp and all that stuff. But, you know, I mean, for eight weeks, you basically, like, you wake up and that guy's the first person on your mind. You're eating meals. That guy's the person on your mind. You're training.

That guy is the guy you're thinking about the whole time. You go to bed. You're thinking about him as you're falling asleep. dreaming about him, not in a weird way. Sure. You know, not in some tight valley, two-dough shorts. In a God's spiritual way. Yeah, exactly.

You know, I believe that you would stay in shape year round. I mean, that'd be the easiest way. And then you'd prepare for each opponent as he came. I mean, here's my philosophy from what I've seen. I mean, you're 39. I still think you got two good fights, and you know, you're still in great shape and stuff. But it's so weird how, there's a big difference between 38.

and 40. Let me tell you, man. It's fucking amazing. You know, I really started telling the difference. I could tell the difference, like, the year I turned 35. That was about the time that, and I can go in the gym. Like, I go in the gym and I'll train like I'm 20. I'll outwork 20-year-old kids all day long, you know.

And it's great being seasoned, you know, when you have that experience, you know, because then you just, like, you just, you know, you know the game. Like, you make up with, you know, with what you lack in conditioning because you're out of shape or youth or whatever you want to call it for knowledge. And I can train like I'm 20 though. I mean, I go in and you see me training like, God, man, that guy's a machine. But like, you know, when I was 20 years old,

I would train for two hours and then I would go help my buddy move a couch. And then I would come back to the gym and train for another two out. Now, man, I'm like, I train for two hours. And when I push the way that I push, I go home, man, I'm sleeping for an hour. And just because if I don't, it's like plugging my cell phone back in, you know, you got to recharge that battery. And if I don't do that, I'm shot for the next workout. Like, I'm sunk.

I went to Higgins stand and I had to take a nap afterwards. Absolutely, man. I got home, I made a protein shake, and I went on the computer. I just wasn't feeling good. Yeah. You get that point where something wasn't right. Like, my ears were ringing. That was a little fucked up today.

I forget I'm 51. I should have done those last three things and shit. And I was like, fuck it. I just got out, took my T-shirt. I had already showered and everything. I was like, I had taken a nap for an hour. And I was exactly. I slept an hour.

right back up like it's tough man what is what is your sleep schedule joey because you're up early as shit i i got sick so i started respecting my sleep schedule because that's the last thing you look at you know it's it's one of the most important it's the most important it's the fucking old it just keeps everything fresh your mind and you know i could go four hours and rock and roll right we do this at eight and a more we were doing this at six for two for a year and a half yeah well We do this at 6. If you do this at 6 in the morning, your chance to get me on the guest. No.

You know, the people think, like, when you're an athlete, like, they've seen Rocky. I actually talked about this. And sometimes when I do, like, motivational talks and stuff, you know, Rocky breaking. Like waking up before the sun comes up, you know, cracking three eggs, drinking him out of glass, walks outside. You can see his breath in the air. I'm like, man, I don't do that. Like, sleep is paramount to me. Right.

I don't set an alarm. I almost never wake up to an alarm. Oh, okay. Never. you just get what you need and that's that yeah makes sense i typically i mean i have like a window that i go to bed but here's a problem like um last like the last couple nights and i'm i'm getting ready go overseas so i'm trying to kind of uh adjust my sleep schedule a little bit but i'm that guy that um i mean if i go to bed at nine o'clock at night i'll wake up in the morning at like five and i'm like

man it's too early to get out of bed so i won't get up right but if i go to bed at three in the morning i'll i'll still wake up at like my set time is like about seven 30 or eight so no matter what time I go to bed, I won't get out of bed until about 7.30 in the morning. Right. So, you know, I'm typically like, I'm usually in bed, like around midnight every night. That's where the math comes in. Figure out when to go to bed. Listen, trust me.

And I, yeah, exactly. I, listen, I sleep, I pay attention to my, like, my circadian rhythms and, you know, sleeping 90-minute increments and all this kind of stuff. And, yeah, I don't go so far as, like, lining my bed to the north. Right. Which, you know, I'm not set against or anything like that. Every little bit helps or whatever. But, you know, some people that make sure their bed is facing north-south, so they're lined up with the magnetic poles and some crazy, crazy stuff out there.

I always wonder, do you, like, do fire sleep the night before the fight? Like, I get excited for, like, an early morning flight and I don't sleep. Yeah. Like, how do you sleep in a week before that? Well, I'll tell you, that's, that really it doesn't, like, that excitement doesn't really hit me until I arrive. Like, when I land in Vegas and I'm checking in, that's when, that's when things get real. then you know i'm here to fight why don't you put that car down for incidentals baby shit starts getting crazy but uh but no it's like the most important night of sleep for me

is uh not the night before the fight but the night before the night before the fight so the way ends yeah because i mean listen you ever go to bed you have a really bad night of sleep you wake up the next day you're fine and then all of a sudden you you can go to bed that night get a good night of sleep you wake up the next day and you're dragging ass and like what the heck happened to me is because you're like your body can run off adrenaline just fine but you know it's gonna dump eventually and so it's like the night before the fight it's that's not the I mean it's important but the most important is the night before that that's what keeps me performing at optimum levels I just you know when I was 25 and shit I didn't believe in sleep really three four five hours you don't know I didn't know

yeah the fuck do I know you know and then I have this thing I like to get up just to see what the hell is going on yeah you got to get up You gotta get up in peace, see what the fuck's going on. Sometimes I stay up, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I pray that I go back to sleep. Last night I went to bed at 11.30, 12. And at two, my eyes were wide fucking head. I'm playing with the fucking cat. And I'm like, no.

I gotta get some sleep because I'll stay up until 5. I dig that shit. Yeah, me too. I dig that shit. That's why if I'm home, Monday night, there's no comedy on Monday night, really. You know, fuck it. I'll take a 10 o'clock nap time. 9.30, I'll take a 9 o'clock. I'll eat a pot cookie. I'll go to bed at 5 o'clock. If I wake up at 5,

I got a good 8. My wife wakes up at 7. I got two hours of fucking writing, listen to music. I can read the newspaper. You know, I could read, I could write a few jokes. You start your day off on the right fucking foot, you know? You pick out theme songs for the day, too. I pick out three songs a day to get me started while I'm washing my monkey and getting prepared. The other day I woke up and I was thinking of going to Cabrini is at 7 a.m. Ziu-Jitsu at 7 a.m. That just doesn't fucking translate for me.

But it's nice to do it one time. One time. One time, just to say that you went there at 7 a.m. I used to... Yeah, the problem is you show up at a place like Krobynors or Higgins at 7 in the morning, you know? Then they're calling you every day. Like, hey, brother, you show up at 7 a.m. class tomorrow. And you're like, no, that was a one-time thing.

They call you every day. You know, when it comes to that shit, I like doing it and getting out of the way. Yeah, no, but I don't even show up at 7-A-in-class because I almost set that press. And it's like, Oh, this is a guy likes to train at 7 a.m. But they have a 7, you know who also has a 7 a.m. class up here?

And I drove past it one time. There were 16 motherfuckers row. And I pulled over and counted, you know what I mean? I'm a bigot-major. Alberto Crane. Oh, really? Right down the corner. That's what Kenny Floreen goes.

Yeah. So fucking Alberto Crane's got a 7 a.m. Class go over there. It's a bunch of people who work 10 hours who go to fucking jujitsu first. You got to look at those guys and go, what the fuck are you thinking? The reason why don't go,

Let me tell you I don't go to 7 a.m.? Because a lot of people going there without taking showers. You have that coffee breath. They hit you rolling with something. They hit you with that bad breath in the morning. I will lose my mind. That's their secret to victory. I used to go to 10 a.m. kickboxing classes.

And there'd be some stinky motherfuckers in there from the night before. And I get pissed off. I can't tolerate that shit. I go to, I take a shower before I go to Jijitsu, even if I fucking took a shower already. Just to make sure, yeah, man. I respect other people.

You got to, you know, I want to, smell like Irish spring while you're choking me. You know what I'm saying? I want you to, if you smell the Irish spring on my neck while you're choking me, you may have mercy on my fucking soul. You know what I'm saying? What was the last time you for, Rich? 2012.

How's the feel? I'll tell you, it's... Honestly, man, like, I feel better now than I felt in the last 10 years of my life. You broke your hand the last fight? No, not the last fight. I broke my arm the fight before that, though. Ladell? Yeah, he kicked me.

I remember you broke your hand. Man, who was the last fight? Kong. I got knocked out. Kung Lee? Yeah. I don't remember the shit. Yeah, me neither.

No, I don't want to remember. Seriously, what is that like? Do you remember leading up to that? Well, I get knocked out? Yeah. Yeah. Every fight's different, but, you know, I mean, I've had fights where I've won, and I've got a couple, a fight before, Kung, I fought, um, Band-Lay, Silva.

And Van der Leight dropped me in the second round. And, you know, like, legitimately, I don't remember, like, the right, remainder that round, the third round, or the fourth round. Right. And that had happened to me in a fight before. And I'm sitting in the corner between fourth and fifth round. I'm just sitting there like in my coaches, they start, they're talking. And when you, the best way I can describe is when you get dropped and your coaches are talking, like when it first happens, you hear this like whistle, like, like a hum in your head.

Yeah. But then when you like sit down in the corner, like the best way, it's like want, want, want, like the adults from the peanuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I just remember sitting there between the fourth and fifth round and all of a sudden like things started coming to. and I was like, all right, guys, I'm back. Nice. You know, like, it's one of those deals. But then I went home and I watched myself fighting,

and I'm like, man, I fight better when I'm on autopilot. Right. You're not thinking. It's crazy. Yeah, you're not thinking. You're just reflex. It's crazy, man. That is awesome.

Yeah, it makes you feel bad, though. You're like, well, damn. Maybe anything to get clocked in the head to get it going. But, but now, you know, like, most of the time when you get dropped like that, like it's, I remember being in the fight. I remember being in that fight and really getting into my rhythm and just, doing my thing. I landed a couple punches

and then he threw a kick to my midsection and I remember kind of like trying to you know, parry the kick and it caught me a little bit and I was like irritated like irritated with myself like really you just let that happen to me and then kind of was like setting in and then the next thing I know I'm in my locker room I'm like what the hell man?

Right. Yeah one of those deals and so yeah it's like but you know then you got to go back and watch everything to see what happened which stinks because you're like Oh, timber. Do you ever take a fight on really, like, someone, something changed at really short notice? Like, they just signed that Bellator guy.

Mm-hmm. And they switched to fight. Like, they just took a guy out, like, a month before. And, like, how, like, because we were talking about the fight camps. Like, how crazy is that, like, the two weeks before I have a new opponent? You know what? You didn't, like, think about boxing. Like, you didn't see that crap growing up in boxing.

You see boxing matches that don't happen over a half a pound. Like, oh, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to fight him at 144. I'll fight him at 143 and a half. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not cutting to 143 and a half. It's like, these guys, in MMA, man, I'm like, I'll fight with 205, I'll fight 105, I'll fight 185, I'll fight, I'll fight to catch weight. Where do you guys want me? It's so crazy, but it really is difficult, man, last minute to have, like, your fight change, because you're so opponent-specific that you've, you know, it's like you're developed habit.

Like, you've really honed in on this habit. Like, I'm going to defend the shot this way. I'm going to throw a punch this way. I'm going to set up with this fake or whatever. Your complete game plan changes. Like, it's terrible. So actually, I was training for Kung, and I was on the other side of the world, I was training in Singapore.

And I was training specifically with guys who were stylistically like him. And then Vitor got hurt, and that's how I ended up fighting Bandalay. But that's which, and I was, like, going to fight in the States, and suddenly it was like, oh, well, you're not fighting in the States. We need you to fight in Brazil. And it's two weeks earlier instead of, you know, it was like all this stuff. we need you to fight two works earlier in a different in a different country you're on the other side of the world i had like get my butt back home get my time zones realigned and it was it was crazy man like that

that stuff happens i can't imagine dude i's uh it's uh i no matter even when i was 10 and i love sports i love sports to a degree you know and then m mma came along or the ufc came along because for a long time i wouldn't even want strike force because it felt like i was cheating on the ufrey you know and I was such a fan of the UFC and my ties were the UFC that I wouldn't even watch it. And it's so weird how I've always, once I started watching the UFC I became a better comedian.

Really? Yeah. Because I started, I watched them and I started comparing comedy to mixed martial arts. I've heard it compared to a boxing match recently. In the sense of like my writing was jujitsu fighting on my back

and my performance was striking. and I had breathing involved in pauses when you rant. You know, with Jiu-Jitsu, sometimes you play possum, then I got to go for your leg and try you up, you know, so there was all these things. And then I would watch, I got to say it, I would watch like Joe Daddy Stevenson, who I was a fan of from The Ultimate Fighter.

I like Joe, man. I love Joe. Went to Japan with Joe. He went over to Okinawa in Japan with me to visit the trips one year. You know, Joe's a good guy. I think he's teaching somebody. He's got a school or something now.

Great guy, but he didn't evolve. Every fight he didn't evolve. And it's like Showtime, when I'm strolling to tonight, when I get home tonight, I'm not going to be able to go to sleep after I watch, after I do comedy. So I'll go home and go, and somebody that I just know as an acquaintance is on Showtime doing a 30-minute thing.

I'm cheering for him. Right. But when I see him do a joke, he did at the Laugh factory six months ago, I turned it off. I'm fucking done! I'm fucking done! You know, it was like watching Tito at the end.

I'm a fan of Tito. How many more times you're going to go for that fucking takedown? You're a mile away. I'm a fat 40-year-old, and you're a fucking mile away! Why do you keep going for that fucking takedown? It ain't working for you. It didn't work the last three fights. That's, so I would say, if that joke don't work, get the fuck rid of it.

Right. It didn't work the last fucking weekend. Instead of me beating it for, you know, how many times you're going to throw that fucking spinning, which I can't stand? That spinning back fist? Yeah. Why? Why are you wasting your fucking time? Why? You're killing me.

Stick to the fucking jab, all right? Everybody wants to fly through the fucking air. It would drive me crazy. After Showtime did the... You saw the kick off the cage, right? That I didn't mind. Yeah, that was beautiful. But after he did that, everybody was like, oh, I got to do that too.

Yeah. Well, it's the same thing that happened with... What's his name with the jab? Then people saw the effectiveness of the jab. Anderson threw the front kick at Vidor. Everybody's throwing a fucking front kick now. Something that you and I... That was our main weapon.

We were growing up. That little snap kick was beautiful. Oh, yeah. All of a sudden, we forgot about it. All of a sudden everybody forgot about it. You know, and when I first lost them, I was 418 pounds. And when I first lost the weight,

I had heard about these two brothers in Denver that were fucking nuts, these black dudes. And then somebody told me one time that they had opened up a school here now. And they taught not, uh, they didn't teach, uh, Kajako Kempo, they taught the other ones. So I started going down there.

And I was there for two. years. I love the place. It's just that they ran the school on Black Time. If the class supposed to start at 10, it starts at 10 to 11. Yeah, I got a 1 o'clock audition, you know. I'm here to do 10 to 11 15. I got a 1 o'clock audition. You'd walk in that 10 to 11, and everybody's sitting there like, hey, what's going to? And I'm like, no, what the fuck? But I loved it. But the point being that they used to always talk to me about traditional martial arts, how they watched, they would sit there and watch UFC's.

and nobody was doing traditional martial arts. I mean, this was way before Machita started, and they would keep selling it, how they wanted to train somebody to go on and pick motherfuckers apart with different, and all of a sudden, it was like he was talking into the universe. Yeah.

They did the front kick, the jab, there was something else that they were doing that I saw him one time. They goes, did you see that guy? He used that push kick. That's old school martial, and now everybody's doing little fucking things. But once somebody does it,

everybody else jumps on board, it works. Yeah. You know, what you do in movie tie, you don't do. That's a good thing, though, because that's like the exact opposite we're talking about with, like, Tito and stuff. You know, you have to evolve with the sport. You have to. You have, and that's what, and it made me get better with comedy.

Like, oh, I got to work on my storytelling now. So now when I would get on stage, I would use my comedy as combinations. Instead of going on three, you know, one, two, and a kick, I would go, I'm going to do, I'm going to come out as a machine gun, then I'm going to take a breather, do two rants, and then I'm going to fucking close with the story to slow them down. So I started learning, you know. So it was amazing how I compared it.

Yeah, when did this start? When did this kick in? What year? A year after watching. When do you think that was? Maybe 2006. 2007. I was now, I was like, fuck it.

And, you know, when somebody would fight, I'd cheer for them. Right. I'd go to watchmen and go, come on, Austin. They'd do the same move that did the last two fights. And I would sit there and my blood would fight. You're about to step into the ring Oh, we're ready to go off and go, Stop doing that fucking thing, man

Stop it, stop, stop, stop, you're irritating me Well, you get really mad at the big guy, what's his name? Who? The white guy with the, he's like a heavy guy, and he's the jiu-jitsu, he's a heavyweight. What's his name? Inzaga? No. Roy Nelson?

Yeah, Roy Nelson. You always get mad at Roy Nelson. Do I? Yeah, you're always like, he always goes for the right hand, and you don't know, he's a black belt jujitsu. Oh, that's why I get pissed down. fucking take him doing. Dude, that's like, what's it? They're $2.80.

That's it. They're done. If you're a Brazilian black belt and you're 280 pounds, you're tapping motherfuckers, not even attacking an arm. Because I can lay on Rich Franklin right now and he'll push me around after two minutes. That's going to be the toughest two minutes of his life.

And I only got one white strike. I'm 3-10. Once I get on my tippy toes, Rich Franklin knows he don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck how many TRTs or milkshakes. You ain't get me off, though. So, if fuck,

He gets on you and puts that shoulder on you against your chin and you're on the floor. He could sit there for fucking three minutes. How long is around? Five. Are you fucking kidding me? If he got you pulled you down and just put his shoulder into you, you ain't getting enough. $265. Let's pretend, right?

Heavy where there's $2.65. Let's pretend he doesn't go to Stake his shake the night before. Let's pretend he doesn't go home, listen to Leonard Skinner, and go to Stake his shake right there on the strip. He's going to be tipping the scale at 273, 274. A black belt and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu who knows how to use his leverage. And he can move. He can move. He can move. He can move. He's got cardio.

So if I was him, I come out of the gate like a fucking man-possessed. I take him, I bite somebody, and I fucking take him down, just lay on him and fucking crush him for three men. Look over at Joe Sylvan wave. You're like, yeah, fucker. He'd be down there turning purple. And then it's all over. You're mesmerized.

Even when you get up, I don't care how tough you are. Last week somebody laid on me, and they fucked my rib. With my own elbow. With my own fucking elbow. And this guy was 180, but he's a fucking brown belt. He knows how...

Come on. That's a thing. I mean, I walk around about 205, 2.10. And I can make myself feel like I'm like 275. Please. My buddy John Evan from Cabrini, he's 170, with a rock in his pocket. When he gets you in that side,

control one day my eye pop up like this the thing popped like this and I couldn't stop blinking I had a tap from blinking because he fucked up my jaw you understand me that's amazing that's why I get mad at Roy Nelson but I love you Roy I'm fucking you know

what do you think though you know you don't we gotta get Oregon to put you in one of these fights too you've inspired me to I can't fucking do it I can't I just know I just want to see the way you're talking about all this I want to see it maybe I want to see it He sounds so beautiful.

No, I want to see you fight. I would fucking go crazy if I was in somebody's corner because I can't take that shit. Especially if I really like you, I don't want to see you get punched in the head. I'm going to go crazy. I'm going to yell and scream. I'm going to fucking say shit to you.

I'm just going to keep fucking getting you here. You've got to go in there and fucking kill this motherfucker. You're only just making people want to watch the show more. I'm telling you, though. I bring your mom. That's the best trainer. Nobody knows. Nobody figured out in the UFC.

Nobody brought their mom in that motherfucker. To do what? To do what? To the fight. Just come to the fight. I can't do it. Listen to mom. Because your mom is the best trainer.

Your mom could make you do shit. Nobody else can make you think. Sonny, you're on your back. Turn over, bite him. And all of a sudden, you got like that Rocky Powell when he heard his retarded wife. What was the name, Adrian?

Remember when he heard Adrian when the hat fell off? Fucking, that dude was a mo-mo, but he heard her hat fall off. That's what made him snap. Remember somebody took a hat and he went fucking nuts? Same thing. If your mom's in the corner, you think about that.

How bad would you feel? You don't know. Nobody wants to get beat up in front. on their mom no you weren't getting your ass kick in front you're gonna get this they just shit you but she wasn't in your corner no the first fight my mom ever went to was uh was my Anderson silver fight my title lost Columbus no that one was in Vegas at the Mandalay Bay Columbus was the rematch no Cincinnati Cincinnati yeah and that was for the where they do the which was her second fight by the way oh but yeah she

that was her first fight and I just came out and you know I got my I got I think I got my nose broken it went one direction And then it got rebroken and went the other direction. Did she lose her mind or what? Yeah, she was, you know. Yeah, no, I know. I can't see how she wouldn't. Yeah, so she's...

But yeah, that was her first fight. I was like, hey, we don't have to do this. Here's your introduction to M.A. Hope you enjoyed the matches. That's got to be... That's like going to see us in bombing. Oh, fuck. It's like inviting your family.

I don't do that at all. Fucking no way. Because it could happen on any given Sunday. That's the kiss of death. Yeah, I'm not trusting me. The last fight I went to... I don't know where it was. It wasn't Baltimore.

And somebody was fighting the undercard, Orlando. Somebody was fighting the undercard. And their whole family came. They made those T-shirts. And this motherfucker got rocked. Yeah. Like 30 seconds in. Like just...

Prior to the fight, the cameras were all over the family. The T-shirts and after the fight, they're like, no, we'll just show it over. And the brother-in-law took the show up. I'm not with that guy. I'm not with that fucking. I'm divorcing this bitch. I'm fucking out of this family. Let me give some shout-outs here.

This is a fun fucking podcast. Hell yeah. I guess some shoutouts. How come Adrian wasn't retarded in Rocky 2 or Rocky 3? She's only retarded in the first. They took it to the clinic. They got to the clinic. They got a house.

You talk to somebody. Yeah, but if you go from Rocky 3 to Rocky 4, even Rocky himself wasn't. He was good. They were all smart after that. They beat the Sensen door. They got a little money. Everybody was happy. You know, they were Republicans.

Let me drop it here. Mike Kavanaugh, I love you, Copsucker. Anthony Porello, thank you for listening. D.C. Smitty. Michael El Niño. Robert Woolridge and Jennifer LeBlanc. I like that fucking name. LeBlunk.

It sounds like an expense pen. Yeah, what are you going to do? You know what they got to do. And that's it. It was a fun-filled fucking thing. I can't believe this shit. We got a full house tonight. This is a nice conversation podcast.

Yeah, man. Tons of fun. And we're in Braya? Yeah, we are in September. We're working in Braya. Yeah. Lee's going to be there, right? Sure.

Well, you know it all the way down in Brayor? Comic. They got comedy. This? You're doing the podcast? No, we just do stand-up. Oh, gosh. We do the podcast. I thought you're moving the podcast of Bray.

No, we do the podcast live at the Ice House once a month. Gotcha. In fact, Herb Dean called me today to be on his show, and he's done the podcast a couple of times. I've had Herb at the live podcast. Yeah. Heard's a good dude, man. Herb's a really fucking good dude, man.

I was talking to him when Dan are playing about Kempo karate and he gave me his number. He's like, call me during the week. I'll take it to a Kempo player. I'm like, that's amazing. It's the sweetest guy in the, world. That's the thing about the EFC that you meet a lot of nice guys. And I was fans of all you guys. Like I just

I know the work that goes into it. I can't even fucking imagine. I can't imagine doing two hours of rolling, going home, having a kale shake. Because after two hours of rolling, you've got to kill. Listen, my shake today had spinach in it too. Just spinach, yeah. Fuck the shake. After two hours

of rolling, you need a steak. A good steak with a baked potato or a salad and that. Not these guys. They think that kale shake, my dough shake talks to you about peanuts and then you head to some other fucking place to box. Have you met Mike? Oh yeah, yeah. Awesome guy.

Mike's great. Mike's fucking great, man. But his recipes are fucked up. I like the chia seeds. I like the tuna with the avocado on it, but that other shit drives me crazy. I can't. I'm not a veggie guy. Yeah.

But he's a meat eater. Yeah, his spaghetti is really good. His spaghetti's fucking delicious. Have he tried his ice cream that he makes? No. Oh, man. So Mike and I did a bunch of, a bunch of military bases together. We were doing some for Air Force Reserve doing some talking about nutrition and just stuff like that, you know, health and fitness.

There have been a lot of people that were failing PT tests. So Mike and I would go around talking a lot of bases together and he would give his recipe that he makes for ice cream. And he actually put spinach in his ice cream. And he's like, like legit. He said, man, it's good, it's good stuff. I believe him, man. You know, it's got some like dates in it and stuff like that and he blends it up. Right.

But yeah. some ice cream with some it's no dairy it's dairy free but it's really cool recipe Mike knows what he's doing Mike is very good it's amazing the whole you know I grew up on boxing

a couple weeks ago Dan Cornere and John Jones went out of the press junket and people were fucking you know I grew up on boxing and that shit happened all the time when I was growing up those boxes you know Aguayo against Duran

those motherfuckers threw some chairs and shit like that you know it's been done before. I don't know why people, but it's amazing the whole different level the mentality. When you boxed, you had two guys, you had the main guy, you ate, you did all this stuff. Now, the technology,

it's like on it, it's optimization. Like now, you know, when you watch a martial artist or when you watch a UFC fighter, every time they do one of those whatever, you know, preview to the fight, they're doing this out, like they're going in freezers now and getting frozen

for three minutes. With the technology, you know, it's true. They go in there. You know, man, I did the cryo chamber. And honestly, I just, you guys see these, the ice bucket challenges? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I actually, everybody's dumping a bucket. I sat down in a bucket ice and put out a picture and said, here's my ice bucket challenge.

And, but, you know, like, honestly, man, sitting in an ice tub was, to me, way worse, meaning better than the cryo, the little, the cryotubes. So, I don't know. I've done the cryotube a few times. And what does that do for? reduces inflammation. Gotcha. Helps with like acid build up in the muscles and just recovery. Gotcha.

Yeah. A lot of people do it. I guess it shuts the blood away from the core. Eddie Bradwell does it twice a week. I did. I was doing it three times a week for 15 minutes. Dude. And you were sitting this ice tub and like if somebody would come by and just hit the water,

like the water moves. and it's like you're already sitting in cold water so it's like how much worse can it be but I'm telling you man like once that water has motion in it so my coach would just sit there and just like just stir his hands oh no oh man 15 minutes of that stuff it's brutal and I do it three times a week after my three hardest workouts made a big difference though big difference so what's the new title you have with this company uh I'm a VP for them man I'm like I'm a big deal I know I have you got some hats hell yeah I'll send you whatever man Now, you guys are going to fight the States or just overseas?

I think eventually their expansion plan will come to the States. They've talked about it and all that kind of stuff, but eventually they'll plan on being here. But there's some time off of that for now. They're doing their first show in Dubai. I mean, it's tricky for them because they're not just in one country. Before the end of this year, they're doing show in – there'll be Dubai, the Philippines, in Manila, in Singapore, and Beijing.

where else are we I think we have one more show before the end of the year that I'm missing but yeah I mean so they're like they're not in one country so every you're going to a new country every time it gets really really difficult concept but it's a big leap to come all the way to the states too

you know but I'll tell you what no they put on some some awesome shows man we just we just did a show in Taipei 10 ballots on it all 10 bouts were all finishes some you know nice nice quick knockouts some good entertaining long you know drawn out

fight of the night type fights and it was good stuff, but they use a global rule set, just like Pride did. Not exactly like Pride because you can't storm to the head on the ground, but you can knee and kick to the head on the ground. Oh my God. And I've seen some people get lit up, man. Sure. It's pretty crazy.

And it's not an octagon. It's a ring. It's a circle. A circle. Yeah. Okay. It's great that you're doing great things, man. Yeah. It's amazing that last week I read somebody retired. Who retired last week? Cresinski, what's his name?

Oh, yeah. Because he's memory and stuff like that. And I sit here across me, and you're great. I mean, you say, you talk about that, like all these fights and stuff. Like, physically, I feel good enough. But I think about my career and I've been knocked out a couple times, you know. But even in fights that I've won up, I've been caught before. And there are flashes of rounds that just have escaped me.

And so, you know, there's part of me that's kind of like, hey, you know, you, I've, I've been hit in the head and up, you know? Like, but you're always like, ah, one more, you know, you wake up and I'm like, man, I feel I just, you're hungry. Yeah. The whole Rocky Balboa movie, when he's like, I think I got one more in a gas tank, you know, like you have that feeling all the time. So it's difficult because, and I always tell people, you know, I'm at an age, I'm at an age

where most men my age, they do stupid stuff. Like, go get tattoos and date women half their age and stuff like that and buy a sports car that they can't afford. And, but at this age, you're at an age where you have to accept. like you can't do the job that you love doing you know people like my grandfather like they work until their 70s or whatever and at the same factory forever until somebody finally says look you're you're too old to do the job that you've been doing and they have to accept that at 70 but in my line of work I have to accept that in your late 30s basically it's hard yeah it is hard because you still

you saw that desire sometimes yeah so yeah that's amazing hey listen at least you're still in the game You know, you're still around it. One thing I've noticed, like when Christian, that's his name, Christian, said that last week, I remember thinking about it, and I've got to be honest with you, you know, and I don't know who specifically. There's times I've gone to UFC fights, and I've met fighters five years ago, and I could see something different. Oh, absolutely. Maybe a little slur, maybe a little something, you know, and I'm sure you've seen it because you were around the game more. It'll be interesting to see how this.

all develops, you know, 20 years from now. The difference is, the difference between this and the NFL, because the NFL is having a lot of problems with all these concussions and stuff like that, the difference between this and the NFL is that, you know, like when a fighter fights, they're on their own, you know. You're talking about this at the top of the show about hiring nutritionists, and, like, I mean, I have a strength coach, you know, strength conditioning coach, and who also helps me with my nutrition and, and a boxing coach, and a kickboxing coach, and a wrestling coach, and a jihitsu coach, and a manager, and, you know, I mean, I mean, you. You have all these people.

And so I go and I do my own thing between fights. So it's not like there's this standard thing. Like you play for the Cincinnati Bengals or you play for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Like you're pretty much within the system of the medical field. It's going to be consistent everywhere you go. Is there a union for fighters? I don't think that. They're a dick.

It's like comics. Again, it's like me in a comic. It's like a comic. There's no insurance. There's no, there's nothing. You're on your own. And you don't realize that, too, you're on your own. Most people don't.

You know, when they're spending money and jumping up and down and people sucking your dick. You don't think about going broke. You know, it's after the dust settles that somebody comes to you when they says, hey, you ever had a fight in fucking five years? And you're spending like, you know. So it's got to be hard in a lot of different areas. But remember when you used to just fight? Dude.

It's funny. Well, I'll tell you what that's... The nice thing. thing about not fighting right now is like I'll go into the gym and I just go into the gym to train for the enjoyment of just making myself better, not constantly being focused on this is my next opponent because I, you know, what I learned like midway through my career, even as the world the world, like, you know, I want to be the best in the world, I want to be the best in the world, I want to be the best in the world, but you really, what you really need to focus on is being better

than your next opponent and that's it. Like you don't have to worry about being the best in the world like you you come in with a specific game plan for a specific guy and you your sole purpose should be I need to be better than this guy I need to be whoever it is I need to be better than him you don't have to worry about being better than anybody but the next guy you're going to fight so now that um now that I'm just you know I train I train for fun I train for the enjoyment of getting better and not having to focus on the fight game I can remember being that way when I was younger and then all of a sudden showing up at a fight where they stick a camera in your face and like I need you on this queue right here you're going to stand here for we got 15 seconds we're going to walk forward i don't need you to walk

too fast watch this court i don't want you tripping over that in five four and you know and they're doing all these hand signs like speed up slow down and you're like you're like i just what the heck just happened that's funny because all you want to do is fight yeah you got all this shit going on and so now and then and i went through the transition of all that when the ufc was a smaller show and the day and uh and so suddenly it's like you go from that to well i need you you to conduct this interview and then I need you to wake up at four in the morning on a week when I'm cutting weight and because these people were in a different country and you know radio yeah morning radio yeah doing morning radio tours you know to promote morning radio

when you do a movie you have to same way they put you on these fucking call you got to wake up at five of the morning talk to Spanish radio stations and you got to tell them the same story and whatever oh yeah it's a fucking night man yeah yeah I'm happy it all worked out for you rich you One of the pioneers, you know, I mean, no matter what anybody says and she, you guys want to the pioneers of the sport to what it is now, so on. You still look good, you're healthy. God bless you. I'll tell you what, man, God has blessed me. Yeah, truly, yeah.

And worst case now, you can always teach fucking math again. Fuck that shit. Not happening. Biches. Did anyone not do their homework? Rich Frank was making a comeback. What's his name? Teaching high school fucking D.C.

What's his name? Who's the boss? Marion Barion. Tony Danz. You've got a job teaching in high school. Not because things are bad, because sometimes you want to go back to what you love. Sometimes you're in age, you're like, what the fuck I never played the piano. It's over.

I'm going down the fucking guitars at tomorrow, and I'm hanging out with Chicago. I'm that guy every day, man. I've got more hobbies than I've got time. Oh, please. I like the Jamaican. But with hobbies, yeah. All right, let me fucking do these sponsors here. Lee, you have a good time tonight?

Yeah, that was crazy. Are we going out to the store? We're going out. Are you going home? I don't know. I'll probably go home. How many diet points do you have left on? Not how many?

I've been following Lee on Twitter, man. What are you getting in shape? What are you eating in time? I had that Asian place over by Burbank, the Asian box. The Cuban Asian place? No, it's right by the movie theater. It's like this little Asian Chipotle sort of thing. But they were good, and I saved half of that because I knew I was going to get high.

So I knew you always do this to me. So I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck a nut.

Oh my God. He gave, we had some of these before the steak dinner, and he ordered the most delicious chocolate cake. And, like, it was, it lasted like three minutes in front of us because it was like two hours in the edible. And it was just, it was crazy. We were both on diets. We said, fuck it. It's all over. I'm getting knee surgery next week.

I'm going to get the chocolate. It's amazing how you justify bad. Yeah. You know. We just said. Like, I'm getting knee surgery. Oh, you know what? It's Saturday anyway.

I just, you know, I messed up yesterday. I might as well just finish out the weekend. I'll start fresh again on Monday. My wife one other time. So I knew I was gonna take him for a steak. So I went to North Hollywood Park. I got 2.35 pound kettlebells, and I went in that motherfucker went nuts.

Fucked the knee. I started doing farmer walks and kettlebell swings and cleans. I got back to that call. I was thinking about with that steak, and I sat there for an hour. I sat there for an hour. I went home and made a protein shake, 300 calories with no carbs.

I went home and sat there with that chocolate fucking shake in my stomach. And when he came over to get me, it was all over. I attacked the stick. I got a chop set. And I got the fucking little potato. That's it. It was easy. But the cake was too big.

I couldn't finish it. No, we didn't finish it. We couldn't finish it. It was too much. O'Lee, you had something? I had it a little bit. You got it. But I can't do.

How many calories you burned today? Tell Rich Franklin on the treadmill. He walked from here to fucking the offices of your company. Just 800. 800. Like four miles. It's not bad.

And I'm trying, like, I've never been in shape. So it's when you were saying like, no, no, no. When you were saying how you were saying how you how you go to sleep after a workout, like you take an hour nap. When I started working out for the first time of my life, like a little over two months ago when he was on a podcast, I worked out for like 20 minutes and I slept for like 17 hours.

It was the craziest thing that it's ever happened. But now, like it's two months in and I'm getting better at it. You're back. You're like a savage. No, but when you were saying, oh, I sleep for an hour, I went home and this is, I don't think I think this is what you need to do when you can't sleep at night. Oh, God.

Workout? Yeah, 24. No one, I actually have a question because Joey has been on me and I'm trying to go earlier in the day to get like my metabolism started and everything. But the reason why I kind of don't like earlier in the day is I feel like I don't have enough energy. Yeah. So is it that's why. Is it okay to work out later? Yeah, it is.

Listen, there are two things that speed up your metabolism, oddly enough. There are only two ways to speed up your metabolism. That's either working out or putting food in your system. Because he don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. That was the worst. You need to eat right out of the gate.

I tell him to get up and drink water Yeah Dolce says Drink a glass of water But even still Water won't burn things Like not I mean it's better than nothing

But you still Like you're Oh no I've been He won't do nothing Yeah To 2 o'clock He won't eat I'll ask him

Oh that's what he tells me I haven't eaten I've been better now But he's better Since I've been on a diet So you got to get up in the morning Yeah Your metabolism's flatlined

And then your body goes in storage mode And as soon as you eat something It's like I can't burn this We were talking about that last night If we're eating healthy, we'll have one meal and gain seven pounds. It's unbelievable how it just cut.

You saw how much food I eat in a day? You'd be like, what? You don't eat at them? No. No, I mean, I eat so much food. I had my cousin one time, he was doing a biggest losers contest at work. And he calls me up and he's like, hey man, can you help me with this thing? I'm like, dude, look, if I take time to your nutrition, like, don't waste my time.

He's like, I'll do everything you tell me to. So I set up his nutritional plan and I said, and I give it to him on a spreadsheet. said, all right, here's a deal. I said, I said, you're going to get about, you're going to look at this and you're like, it seems like a decent amount of food. I said, and you're going to start eating tomorrow. You're about halfway through your day and think, should I be eating this much food? And then you're about three quarters away through your day and you're not going to be hungry anymore and you're not going to be able to eat all the food and you're going to want to call me and say, Rich, you sure I should be eating this much food? At which point I'm going to say,

yeah, eat everything on the list. And events unfolded exactly like that. But in like, in eight weeks, he lost 48 pounds, 48 and a half pounds or something. And he, and he, was eating like i mean he's competing against guys that are just like starving themselves and stuff and he's showing up with like more pha's like you know he's eating like rubbing it in too like he's like gosh man i'm so full i can't i can't finish all this quinoa in here you know like i really would like to give you some but you know you're you're over there starving yourself and but he ended up winning the contest you know nice that's i mean that's how nutrition is man if you're if you're eating good food you know it's that you know you're not eating things that are like uh you

you know like chips and cookies and stuff like that i put i tweeted out one time I said, try to, like, if you're a type of person that sits down and eats like, because I'm, dude, I don't have a stopping mechanism. That's my problem. So I'm either, I'm either 100 miles an hour or zero. There is no in between for somebody like me. And so, like, you know, I'm the kind of guy where if you're like, hey, man, just try this cookie.

I'm like, no, because there's a whole plate there and I'll eat every damn one of them. So I'm that guy, like, when I open a pack of Oreos, it's at least a row, if not the entire pack. But I wouldn't, like, ever finish, like, midway through a row. Like, how are you going to leave a row half un-eaten? You know, who eats half? rookie shit. Exactly.

So if you're going to do something, do it right. But, but yeah. So that's my thing. But I just don't touch that stuff. But I always, I tweeted out one time I said, if you, like, if you're that kind of person, like try to match the grams of sugar that you just ate in your Oreos with apples. Because, like, to eat a row of Oreos is easy for me. Like, I can dust off a row of Oreos and then I'll be sitting there like, I don't,

I don't know if I want to start the second row because I got to get through that second row, too, you know? And then so it's like, if you eat a whole row of Oreos, it's like the equivalent of, like, like six or seven apples, you know, try to do that. And then you get like two apples in, not it. And you're like, man, I can't eat anymore. I'm going to get sick. Eating apples is hard.

But it's just crazy. My point is that when you're eating nutrient-dense food like that, and you can match gram for gram, but you can't do it because it's just, you know, because it's healthy. Right. Get together, coffee, that's all you need to worry. Eat your breakfast, Lee. Well, eat your breakfast.

Then he got breakfast. He started eating breakfast, but he started eating microwave. breakfast. The shit you can put in a fucking microwave. I had to talk them into doing egg whites with spinach. Not once. You just don't eat one of those fucking things once, okay? You were eating them for like three weeks,

and I go, you can't microwave your fucking breakfast. That's what I'm saying. You've got to get the fucking the salads and the whole thing. Even I'm lazy and I'll make one egg. I'll fry one egg. Every day, I have the same thing. What? I have egg whites, which actually aren't as bad as I thought they were going to be.

They're fucking disgusting. Dude, they're bland. You put away. whatever on it? Well, yeah, no, yeah. So. A couple of cookies. I mean, in theory, you could put chocolate sauce on egg whites.

Yeah. It sounds disgusting, but, I mean, there's no taste to them. And I know this isn't the right way, like, the perfect way to do it. But just since this is the first time I'm trying to diet, I'm just doing straight calorie counting. I know there's better ways and you don't have to count some, but it's just, it's easy for me to focus on. So it's just, it's, but it's, I forgot what I was talking about. He's high on drugs. He's high on drugs.

Calorie counting is not a necessity to live by, but it's a good way to give yourself a marker. I'll tell people like, you know, measure out how many grams of carbohydrates you're eating for this meal. And then section off your sweet potato and see what that is. Like if you actually looked at how many calories you need in a day and you say, okay, well, I only need, you know, I only need 45 grams of carbs. And then you see what that is like in a potato or a sweet potato. And you're like, oh, wow, I only need to eat this much of it, not this much of it. Yeah. It makes you aware of that stuff.

you know what I'm saying. You live, you'll learn. No, yeah. All right. For total optimization, go to honor.com. They got what you need. They got the alpha brain.

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They got everything you need. All right. So go over there. If you join up for the Stay Onet program where they mail it to you directly every month, you get 20% off your first order. Number two, naturesbox.com just sent me a fucking box.

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And get 50% off your first daughter. deliver it to your house, to your man cave. I don't give a fuck, they'll deliver it there. I don't care if you live in Alaska and an igloo. They'll deliver it there right to your house. Nailed it Life, listen, you want a vapor pen that last? What happens if you get hit by a fucking tornado?

Everything's gone. You got a vapor pen. You can get up. Go to NaildelitalLife.com and get your vapor pen now. They got T-shirts on there. I love these guys. Dave's a great guy.

His brother's great. Go over there. What do you get? What are you get? So you get it for 40 fucking bucks. Who's better than you? 40 fucking bucks. You get a nice vapor pen.

It doubles as a flashlight. And I like to welcome the best. I got a pair on these right now. I also want to jujitsu today. I'm a fat fuck. And they staple to your waist. Me on these.com. They got a billboard on Beverly, tremendous.

A hot blonde chick with a thong. You can see a pubic hair sticking out of the side. It's just worth getting the fucking underwears for that. If you order before September 1st, you get 20% off your first. percent off 20 percent off what's the code lee joey so go to meyundees dot com slash joey go to the box and press what lee joey joey joey slash joey what is it make up your mind it's good meanddi's dot com back slash joey don't want to buy underwear they got nice fucking nice they feel good men's and women's and women's they're sending us t-shirts and hooties if you go to jiu-jitsu and you always get fucked up

underwear like you wear the regular underways your nut always falls out of the underwear not with me undies that shit stays in there nice you don't get no moisture in there It's tremendous. Your ball smell tremendous after Jiu-Jitsu. A lot of people can't say that, Rich, friend. You know, the Jiu-Jitsu, your fucking nuts. Your nuts smells like Riga Machado's neck. You don't say?

You don't eat that shit. If you wear me on these, your nuts smell nice and fresh. And that's it. I don't know what to fucking tell you. I'll be back here Monday at 6 a.m. But I'm having surgery Tuesday morning. So I'll be back here next Wednesday at 8 o'clock, slinging dick, and giving out fucking bandages.

You understand me? Because that's how he wrote. I want to thank my main man, Matt Fultron, for stopping by. I love you with all my heart. I love you too. Thank you for having me. Always got something going on. He's going to be in Vegas this week. Friday with Daniel Tosh.

Go see him. Fuck up Daniel Tosh. He's a fucking savage. And we're going to be together at the Bray Improv. What's the date? It don't matter. September 19, somewhere around that. That's around there.

Just improvise. Rich Franklin, what can I say to you? My main man from Cincinnati. I got fucking family in Cincinnati. You know how warm that makes my heart feel? How warm? Warm. Motherfucker warm.

Like, Michael ate breakfast is warm? War. Warmer than 98.6. Somebody told me that Pete Rose was Cuban one time. I almost fucking died. I don't think so. He's from Saturday Park. I know.

I know. Somebody told me, dog, don't tell nobody. Pete Rose is cute. I fucking fell in love. I was like, that's my dog. You know what I tell the saddest thing?

He was at the Glendale Galleria three years ago, giving out autographs or like signing shit and everybody else's box was packed. Nobody was talking to Pete Rose and Red Band took a picture. Pete Rose just sitting there

watching the fucking reading the center of need a form. It's fucking hysterical. He still goes to the track. Yeah, I love Uncle Pete. You gotta love that, right? Put Pete the fucking Hall of Fame, cocksuckers.

I love you. Have a great weekend. Rich Franklin. Thank you very much. Thanks for having you, man. I love you to death, Matt Fulton. We'll be together. Yeah.

And my main man, the flying Jew, he's got something to tell you. Drop it on them, Lee. Oh, okay. Go ahead. Look at the shape of you. Look at the shape. They got you in Israel now. They just shoot you.

Yeah. Oh, God. Okay. All right, here we go. We got shit to do. Oh, Jesus. Lee, come on. Christ.

Don't wait. Lee, you got closed this out for us, man. Come on, Lee. Now that the show's over, remember to go to naturebox.com. Poor Lee. You can do it, man. Come on, Lee, you can do this.

You can do this. Let's go. They're at the end of the podcast. Come on, Lee. Read the fucking thing. Look at this shape. Lee's got the giggles. Oh, shit.

All right, guys. Have a great weekend. Stay black. God loves you. All right, guys. I'm back. Sorry about that. Now that the show's over,

remember to go naturebox.com. and order great tasting healthy snacks at 50% off. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats, like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries, support this podcast and get 50% off. Your first order, go to naturebox.com, promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com promo code Joey. The show is also sponsored by Onit.com.

Go there for Alphabrand, New Moot, Commun, Shroom Tech, Sport, and anything like that, use code word church to get 10% off. And before September 1st, go to meetundies.com slash Joey and get 20% off of your underwear order, men's and women's, and go to nilatlife.com, get 20% off of a paper pen. When you mentioned joe, it's good for oil and wax smoker.