The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #210 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Thursday, November 3rd… This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Stamps.com & CBD Lion… STAMPS.COM Visit https://www.stamps.com & use code JOEY to get a free trial. CBD Lion Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #displate #manscaped #bluechew #CBDLion #stamps The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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joint or church, and get 20% off your first daughter. Now without further ado, I got little Lee in studio. Let's get this party started. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's a beautiful Wednesday here. On Uncle Joey's joint, my main man is in studio today.

We got a show tonight, so fuck it. You know how we do it? Just getting ready last night. We got a little tuned up. Lee ate 40 milligrams. 40. Lyer. You thought he ate like fucking 200.

was 40 milligrams. Yeah, okay, yeah. And I'm eight feet tall and I have a six pack. Oh my God. He was fucked up and so was I. He got off on one little mushroom thing. One little, yeah, yeah, okay. One little one.

No, there was multiple. It was one mushroom. A lot of substances. And it was fucking edibles, 40 milligrams. That's it. 40 milligrams. You don't have anything in the house that's 40 milligrams. Sure.

I was not, I did a good job. I got 25 and 50s, so they add up to fucking 40 milligrams. Even that's 75. No, 25 and 25 is 50. The worst case scenario you could ate was 25 fucking milligrams last night. Worst case, yeah. 40, 40, I'm sorry. I'm getting all confused.

I might be having a stroke. 40 fucking milligrams he ate last night. I had to wake him up 10 times during the fucking thief. I was getting into that movie last night. Yeah, that was a good move. I've never seen it. It was crazy. The coolest class I ever took

was a 1970s film class and I could just tell by the intro to the movie that it was from like you said it was like 80 so it was like right on that edge. Yeah they made that in 79 it came out in 80 but that intro was just so cool it was just it was long he didn't say anything

it was nothing to fucking say yeah it was a cool I wish I could have finished it but it was one of Michael man's earlier movies and he was fucking good that Michael man like you know everybody's good in the beginning when you, then they branch out. But Michael Mann was fucking good.

He did that other movie, Mind Hunter or something that we covered. And Dief, the first time I saw Dief, I thought I was going to jump out of fucking window. Because it answered all my, like, anything I had in my mind, that mindset he had about nothing means nothing and fucking, you know, you expect these things to happen and then nothing happens. Just all those things sucked me to fuck in. And I mean, that's why I became a thief because of that movie.

I loved it so much. We should get, we should, that's why you became a thief? I swear to God, that movie drove me insane. I got into alarms and electronics and how to tap into alarms. That's all I wanted to learn. And then when I went to Snowmass Village, I bumped into an electrician. And he was teaching me how to fucking do the alarms. But every time I did a real live on, whatever, I would get caught.

the fucking alarm would go off or something like that. So I just learned to break the window and run in and take everything before the cops could get there because I wasn't going to alarm systems. I can't imagine you messing with alarms. You seem much more like kick, grab, run. That seems much more of your style. I was an electrician and one of the reasons why I became a residential wireman and thinking back is because I'll get a quick class in wiring and alarm systems and shit. But it never fucking, it never fucking panned out, you know. and never really pan down.

Well, thank God. No, I wish I did. Like my, my thieving career never really took off the way. I thought I was going. I remember rob this fucking Coke dealer's house one time.

And I actually took the, like me and my two buddies took the suction cup and we were going to cut the glass like with the suction cup. That's a real thing? I thought that was just in movies. That's a real thing you can get?

Yeah, you could do it if you specialize, trained in it. You have to get the suction. You have to get the suction cup and then go around. And then the suction cup pulls out the glass. We were there for like two hours trying to cut the glass.

We just punched the fucking glass of one and a half to an hour. I'm going to sit out here and fucking scrape a glass. That's exposure. You know, we had to rob this guy in the daytime because he worked. I don't know what his schedule was. It didn't matter. We used to have to rob him while he went to shop ride or something. Jesus.

But, yeah, that movie fucking put me over. When I was my senior summer in high school, HBO wasn't like it was today. Okay. Yeah. HBO was HBO. That's it. There was no HBO Latino, no HBO family, no HBO exclusive. None of this shit.

You know, it was just HBO. And HBO didn't have, in 1980, they didn't have 3,000 movies to pick from, and they didn't have 2,000 series. So they just played a whole bunch of the same shit. Every night, they pretty much played the same movies only in different orders. Okay. But there was a short time period in my life from, like October of 81

to like January of 82 that the thief the raging bull and Hollywood Knights was on every night in that order sometimes it would be raging bull Hollywood Knights or the thief or sometimes it would be

so you'd catch it every night at some point every night so I would come home and get my brother Mike we'd walk down a pathmark shoplift the shit out of that place with four bucks in preparation for the thief you're like we gotta oh we get prepared for the thief We've got to steal something to watch the...

Tomato soup and protein shakes with fucking eggs. We germ, fucking eggs. We used to put everything on a protein shake and drink it. Oh, I didn't steal it, but I love to go... I love going to the store before, like, I have a really good movie I want to watch. You get a little snackies and shit. Oh, yeah, you just walk around. Yeah, it looks good.

I love when I used to fucking be younger. I would get, like, spreads of Chinese food. Like, I would just get pork fried rice, two entrees, And then every appetizer, a fucking dumpling, a fucking egg roll, Spare ribs. Spare ribs, steak on a stick. And I just sit there and watch three or four movies in a day. Yeah.

Like when fucking in Snowmass Village, when the season ends, there's nothing to do, April 15th. That's it. It's over. Everybody goes home. Right. And the whole city is melting. That whole fucking mountain of snow.

has to fucking melt so there's nobody around. So I used to just work a video store like at night from 5 to 7 going there to bring back movies for people to rent movies it was my busiest time but I swear to God

I used to get up at 8, walk the dog, fucking eat breakfast and wait for the Chinese restaurant to open. Yeah. And it was shitty Chinese food and I just sit there and watch three, four movies

eating a pack of egg roll, smoke a joint, then you hit the ribs, smoke a joint, a shit, egg fried rot, pork fried rice. Even shitty Chinese food is pretty good Chinese food. No, but you're burping during the movie. Who cares?

You're by yourself. You got a shit. A piece of Mugul guy pans in your rib. I don't want to go through that either. Oh, yeah, you're going to have some. It's going to be smelly, but it's going to be fun. Last night you said something to my wife at dinner. They were talking about Popeye's chicken or something.

Oh, yeah. And I wanted to tell you, the last time I went to Popeye's chicken was the one on our corner. Right. We had the one on Laurel Canyon, right? Yeah. You never went there? It was two blocks from my house. Of course I went there.

You walked there backwards. Oh, my God. I know you did. They, when that... Or Lee was surrounded. He had, he had fucking Pop-I's chicken. A Jack-in-the-box? Pop-Eyes.

A jack-in-the-box? You know what? And I did it. Subway. Someone taught me the fattest move ever. There's a Popeye. If you know, it's Laurel Canyon and Magnolia, there's a Popeyes and across the street, is a weiner-snitchel slash frosty-free. Now, the wiener snitchell, even as fat as I was, is disgusting.

is disgusting. Disgusting. Frosty freeze, on the other hand, is fantastic. But it's literally across a four-lane street, so you'd go out of the drive-through of Popeyes, and if you timed it just right, you'd go immediately. You wouldn't even take a turn. You would just go straight into the frosty-freeze.

You'd get a milkshaker and ice cream, and I lived, like, it was the fact that I drove there was crazy. It took more time to drive than it would have taken a walk, but there was no way I was going to. a walk and I would do oh that double yeah no I'm not going in you can't even go away that's how disgusting weiner's it's just a stand it really is

but it really is oh but yeah the last time you went you were saying about what was the other place you said that was there was jack in the box there was Taco Bell down the street by by your block jack in the box was up Laurel down right by that Starbucks okay yeah yeah oh yeah that that

that was not a good there was you were positioned around oh that was fat heaven And then there was yum yums right down the street. Dude, I went to, I did the math. I think I spent, in my 10 years in LA, I think I spent 100 grand on fast food, probably. Eating, eating not just fast food, but the majority of a fast food,

I could tell you every McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's, within the valley. From Sepulveda to Lancasham, I know most of them. Wow. Because I know which ones are open late, because that one on Burbank and Lancasham. up, Burbank in Lancasham,

Lankersham and the, right by the church, Riverside, Riverside, and Lancasham. That one's open late, but sometimes you'd catch a line there. So I'd go to other ones. The one on victory's not bad. That's the book. That's the book, the fat man guide to eating.

Oh, but it wasn't even like, like the thing that you said that, and I hate that it's right, but it's like, if you're going to eat, save it for something good. Like, towards the end of me being fat, I'd go to McDonald's and even,

I liked it, but half the time the fries are cold. It's not even good. Like, going back to L. I was just in L.A. for a week, and I think I had Mexican food nine times in six days. And that, that was worth it. I gained, like, seven pounds in the week, and I didn't care at all. Because I just ate. That's what you go to L.A. for, not for.

Like, I even had a plan to go to Jack in the Box in my trip back. I had a plan because, like, I can't get that out here. I didn't even, I went to. What would you go into Jack in the Box and take of... Dude, when we were doing the podcast, and this is how bad it was, my menu didn't really change, but we were doing the podcast at 6 in the morning for a while,

and I would go to Jack in the Box after, because you'd give me edibles, and I wouldn't have to work till nighttime, so that was my dinner, because I'd come straight from work. You'd get, you'd get, and see, the problem with Jack in the Box is... So my normal fast food, either the one big burger with two chicken things or one chicken thing with two like dollar menu burgers the problem with jack in the box is their burgers and their chicken sandwiches aren't

when you get a jack when you're going to jack in the box you're going for those tacos those disgusting tacos the big one no well yeah yeah like it's two for 99 cents it's that's definitely horse or something i'd get the the burgers but the burgers my like my fat place was wendy's Wendy's was, and thank God it wasn't that close. But the Wendy's was where I'd get, go ham. I'd get, towards the end, I would get a large fry and a small fry. Now, how long did you eat fast food for? From you being a kid or?

Not really. My mom occasionally, very occasionally. I didn't start really getting fat until I got my car because then I could, like, go to lunch off school. And then I went to college in Boston, so I was fat, but like I had. kept it under control because I could eat. When I first moved to L.A. And I was working nights is just when I fucking went. It was my entire trash can was just bags and cups.

Because I'd go to fast food every day. I don't know, Lee. I just was never really like a big fan. Listen, we all have fucking shit that we wrestle with. I mean, last night we came home stone. We didn't eat, but I ate fucking 10 of my daughter's Halloween candies. You know, will I eat Halloween candies again tonight? Not at all.

It's so weird how my logic is. Like, I'll eat it one time and that's it. I'll go to the gym for four days before I slip up again. Yeah. I can't. People talk about it being getting easier. It's still, like, we got my favorite thing in this area. I think you call it shrimp beats.

It's like fried shrimp with like red sauce on it. And that's all it is. But the shrimp is great and the red sauce is great. So we got that. that but it had they put a nice piece of fresh bread with just sauce poured on top and the the fact that i didn't eat it like i we like we bet down here you could have i would have bet all against myself because i i can't it's hard for me not to eat stuff like if i see stuff like that or if like i don't know like with you with mercy or terry if they don't finish something do you finish it no

oh i can't i can't it's i will destroy it it's crazy how i was never really a Listen, we all eat some type of junk. Nobody's fucking perfect, okay? Everybody eats some type of junk food. You pick up a cookie here, and especially when you have kids. Yeah. You know, and I learned that the hard way this summer, because this summer, I was doing a lot more with the kids. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to Jiu-Jitsu.

I can get away with eating this. No, you can't. No, you can't. And I was buying like Italian Isis. Yeah. Italian Isis are 100 calories. Genos, the no-sugar ones, the 100 calories, best. That's great until you look at the label.

And you're like, ah, it really is a hundred calories for a spoon. Yeah, there's eight servings in some of this much. They don't fucking tell you. That should be illegal. I think that should be illegal. They're just trying to fuck with fat people. I was eating two Italian ices at night. Gina, you know, until one day I looked at the box,

and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? You know, it's not ice cream. You, you know, like I said, we all can't be fucking virgins. You know, if somebody maintains it because they're fighting or something, that's great. Right. But this is life. You're going to have, you know. Everyone has something that they do it.

Remember, I used to always say that to you. Okay, I'm going to eat rice patties and tuna. Okay, you're going to lose 200 pounds eating that. But how are you going to sustain that? So that means you're going to have to eat that the rest of your life or how are we going to do this? How are we going to fucking do this? So what does this mean when you stop eating the rice cakes and tuna?

What are we going to eat? And by that time you're going to bust and you're going to maintain. for a while, and then you're going to want to eat a cheeseburger. I mean, we're all fucking sinners when it comes to that shit. Fast food, I don't know, Lee. I just, listen, I think that the country,

I think that the way it goes is when kids go to college, because they're pinching for money, they fucking eat shittier stuff. But it's against everything, you know, it's like smoking cigarettes. You see somebody smoking a cigarette today? You're like, how the fuck are you smoking a cigarette?

You know, what the fuck? after all the propaganda that's out there and all the bullshit, you're still smoking the cigarette, no matter what. I think it was laziness for me with the fast food, because I was just tired. I was working, and it would be like 12 hours between driving there and driving back, and I just didn't, it was just late.

It wasn't good, like, I do like it, but yeah, it's just saving time, but it also, it gets addicting. It's fucking crazy what it does. Like, our, your friends just did Sober October. I do sober October, other than weed, I guess, but drinking-wise, I could do the sober year, and I wouldn't even notice. It just has not even the least, if we're going out and I have a drink rate, I enjoy it, but it's not, you could tell me that alcohol disappeared and it wouldn't do shit to me. And there's people who love it. And it's just, I got unlucky that mine is food, I guess.

I got the same luck, Lee, because I don't like that. fucking alcohol. I can't even imagine having a drink. Like if it's between a drink and a spare rib from a Chinese record. I'm not even, you know, it fits a fucking cocktail or a fucking Italian spare rib from the feast. I'm not, I'm not, there's

no question there. You know, so that's always very easy for me. But I was, I also have the bad luck that I love food, man. I love, listen, I love Riefer and I love food. And I'm not going to sit here because while I'm talking to you, I'm thinking about my batches with fast food.

My back, emboldened is no fucking fast food. I mean, I like, Abo's pizza or something like that, but I didn't eat that shit at all. You know, and then I think when I got to, when I first started selling cars, there was a jack in the box up the corner. And again, you're working 12, 13 hour days. You're not going to go home and make a fucking bowl of chicken soup. So you go to jack in the box. And I never ate the burgers.

I used to eat the seafood salad. Ooh, that's the seafood. And you never got sick? I would just get nervous. At that point, my body couldn't get sick. I was smoking coke. I was working out. I was living in high altitudes.

I was athletic. So my body, I was eating a seat, but this is the clink. I was eating a lettuce, tomato salad. Right. And they sprinkle like artificial crab meat. Right. They take like lizard and spray painted. So you think it's crab.

They spray paint it white and put like Indian red on the side, you know. So we fucking eat. Like I went somewhere, my wife brought home a lobster bisque a couple weeks ago. She goes, try it. It was horrible. And to add insult to injury, they put artificial crab meat in it. Hello? This is fucking lobster bisque.

Why is there crab meat in this motherfucker? And not even real crab. At least put some jersey. I dine crab. So they could lose an eye or say I ate some. This is nothing. There was just artificial crab meat. But I was also drinking, and I got no reason to lie.

I was also drinking the biggest fucking ice tea they sold. Oh, yeah. This thing was a bucket. And I still remember pulling over, you know, when they give you the driving, pulling over in the Subaru and pouring out like two inches in the top because I'd put easy. I just bought a fucking sugar. I used to just go to fucking the supermarket. Was it unsweetened iced tea?

Or was there already sweetened? It had unsweetened. It had to be, I don't know, 32 ounces. The big one, you know, after a while, it gets old to open up sugar packages. Yeah, fuck that. I would just sit there. No, I'm not ready. I would put so much, like, with a box of sugar.

Yeah. I would just pour it in, and it would be like two inches of sugar on the bottom, and I'd just stare it up. That's how I drank my iced tea. And you drink it, you get the sugar crystals. You're like, oh, fuck, that's good. Yeah, that's. So, one day I got on a scale, and I was 18 pounds heavy. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm like, 215. I'm like, why am I 215? I eat a salad every. day. Duh, you buy a box of domino fucking sugar every three days. That's crazy.

I was buying a box, like the little, you know, not the big thing with that leaks, the box with the metal and pour it into the house. I would keep it in the glove compartment. Who does that? I know people bring hot sauce, you know, and you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But I had my own sugar for those things.

So, and right before I got sentenced, right before I committed the crime, I was eating fucking seafood salads every day. But that's a crazy place to gain weight. You just mentioned jail. I hear people sometimes gain a lot of weight in jail because they go to the store or whatever and get all those cakes. What you have is, but then again, this is food for thought too. For all you guys that want to buy protein powders and think protein powders are fucking going to get you big.

Look at those guys in prison. When I was in prison, I was in the best shape of my life because my snacks were sardines. Okay. I refuse to, you know, you can go home and you went to the store for 20 minutes. Right. They sell commissary. Okay. You know, which is every bad thing in the world for you.

And they sell fucking, you know, beef jerky, popcorn, Oscar Maya fucking salami. None of that shit's good for you. When I got, when I was in the system going to my destination, sure, I fucking ate whatever they gave you. Plus, you eat starch. that's all you're eating is pasta rice the meat ain't that real good by the time you get to your destination

you already know and you talk to there's people who don't give a fuck what they eat and then there's a couple black dudes that are in shape and they're like don't eat that eat that get your protein from that source it's fucking wild but I was locked up with guys that were yoked some of them did get steroids

sent in there but there was like 10 of them that were yoked from being in there for four years doing push-ups, pull-ups, squats, running. That's what they did. Jesus. And they had veins all over their fucking bodies, and they drank water.

And, you know, I drank Kool-Aid when I was in jail. That's, you know, there's no soda. Right. But I'm not going to drink water. It's bad enough you're in jail. Now I got to drink fucking water. You know what I'm saying? Room temperature tap water too,

coming out of the toilet slash sink? Fuck you. I want my fucking Kool-Aid. So it's kind of weird. It's a, there's people who do take care of themselves in there. You know, listen, when we ate the nachos, we used government cheese. And we melted in a bucket with a fucking iron. Like, you know, the irons?

Yeah. The rod out, yeah. And that's how they melt that cheese. That cheese can't be any good for you. No, you're getting cancer from that cheese, for sure. That's what your choices are. So I made a choice to eat fucking, what flavor were they? Lemon flavor, sardines or some shit.

It was the yellow can. We used to just sit there at night with fucking crackers. Your piss smells weird. Your piss smells like fucking, I would piss. It took me like six months to get out of jail when I got out of prison for my piss to change smells. Oh, no. Because there's got to be something in that fucking sardine. There's got to be a lot of bad shit in there, too.

Yeah. Do you ever, like, grab a can just for old time's sake. Do you ever miss sardines and crackers? I'm going to be as honest with you motherfuckers as I can. I remember sitting in the joint and asking him and saying, wow. I'm going to eat sardines the rest of my fucking life. I'm going to be as honest with you motherfuckers I can't. I haven't seen a sardine since they let me out of that fucking once I'm like those born

again Christians in jail. Once they get out, they throw the book up in the air. They're like, fuck that. Fuck that. I love sardines to the minute I stepped foot out of that fucking thing. I'm not even eating Caesar salad anymore. No. But the funny thing is that I went somewhere to a fucking high level.

restaurant a couple months ago I don't know what restaurant was they had sardines on the menu had an Italian fucking heavy duty you know I used to eat smelts right like in a can with oil right well I that's what you eat when you're in jail right I don't know what they probably had

sardines that were a little higher class yeah the restaurant I would hope it wasn't canned sardines you can see that missing they got fucking mail pattern baldness already they're little fish they got no hair you know they're fucking They're fucking nuts, those sardines. And then, you know, so yes, I was my, when I was selling cars, I was making money,

but I didn't even use my kitchen. I was 25 and single. I'm not going to use my kitchen, so I get it. You're not going to use your kitchen. I'm not going to go home and make chicken catch a story after a 12 hour of a fucking day. Some people do. Some people do. Listen, man, anybody, there's the big thing.

It's so weird that people haven't put this together. when you see these Hollywood celebrities and they're like, I worked out today and I ran at the gym and I did all this shit. They have nothing else to do all day. Right. When women feel insecure because they see Jennifer Lopez and they're like, why can't I look that way?

I'll tell you why. Because you work in a fucking office and you're sitting there. And Mildred, she brings cookies every fucking day, you know? Yeah. And it's also, you're not getting millions of, like, I would like to think if I had a Marvel movie on the line, I could put down the cheeseburger for a couple months.

But you never, I mean, it's also just at a certain point, like what you were saying earlier, you crack. Like even if people always tell you to meal prep, I tried every meal delivery service, everyone that you cook yourself, that you just put it in the microwave. And they all sucked. Some of them, yeah, most of them suck. Some of them are okay.

But I don't know what I want to eat for dinner tonight, two weeks ago. No. So I would let most of them. I threw away thousands of dollars because I didn't know what I, like, I'm just not the person. And I could,

but like I couldn't have chicken breast, rice and broccoli every day for every meal. It's, I wish I, I wish I could, but I'll just, I'll lose, I'll go crazy.

That's when I'll go crazy and I'll just end up in a drive-through. Like I'll just, I'll kind of, like I'll snap a little bit. And just end up. I mean, listen, man, there's a thousand ways to get healthy.

and they don't all require meal prep. We just get lazy. We have busy lifestyles, and we don't know. Listen, I know 20 heavyweight people that don't even know where to start to lose weight. They don't know. They really don't.

And I mean, listen, you do. Okay. Push yourself away from the fucking table and stop eating the briars ice cream, okay, at night. That's the simple way. But for some people, that seems out of reach. And I was one of those people. Yeah, me too.

The Weight Watchers and go, this is going to work. I thought I was lying to myself. Dude, you told me you were on me to go to Weight Watchers for years. I went to the last Weight Watchers meeting in L.A. before the pandemic. I went and like the next day everything closed and I was so fucking happy because I wouldn't have to go to Weight Watchers. I got to find the Weight Watchers meeting around here because I like those meetings. And I could see them being very helpful.

I think when I was that big, the problem was like it was like the only thing giving me happiness. I'm like, so wait, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna not eat it and then, like, for what? Like, at, because when you were saying people don't know what to do, people can make, like, you can make a mistake, like the Italian ice, like, oh, this is two servings. I think everyone knows what to do. You just, I don't want to have salad. Like, we, like last night at that place, there were 40 things I would have had rather have had than the Greek salad that I had. Now, granted, I had fried shrimp before and we had, we got, so, my. messed up, I had croissant French toast for dessert, but when I ordered, when I ordered originally,

I made a good choice. But it's just, you don't want to, in the moment, you're just like, fuck it, I want a steak, I want a burger, I don't. And it's like sort of like working, like when you go from college to a job, you're like, wait, this is every day. Like, it's, like, the first week of a diet, you're pretty good, usually. You get motivated, you lose a little weight. And then three months in, you're like, you hit a plateau, and you're having,

cauliflower rice again, you're like, fuck it. I'm gonna gain it back anyways. Let's just fucking enjoy it. And then you do that for a little bit, and then suddenly the pants you bought don't fit anymore and you're depressed. There's a happy medium in life.

Yeah. And you can eat healthy for 10 days, and then one day have a fucking Carvel shake. And you can't beat yourself up over it because you're doing the work. It's not like I sit here every night, like typical America, how they want you to do, and just eat a bag of chips every night.

If it was up to us, we eat a bag of chips every night. That's how we were raised. That's how we were raised. That's how, you know, it's my time, a pint of ice cream, whatever the fuck it is. But we're never raised to eat an apple. You know, these are little things. I told my wife, I go, I was having a hard time

just picking up a piece of fruit at daytime. I just have a hard time. I'll do it for three days in a row. Then I won't do it for a week. It's just, let's just, cut the fruit up in the mornings. Don't cut it an hour before. Let's chop it up in the morning before we eat breakfast,

and I incorporate a bowl of fruit. I've always loved fruit for breakfast. When I go to a fucking place and they give you two eggs and bacon, and they give you that little cup of petro-fried fruit, I eat that petrified fruit first, especially if it's got like blueberries or raspberries in it, but to get back to the other thing, and it is economic.

You know, it's not, listen, go buy a steak today. Go get a steak today. You're going to be in shock. You're really going to be in shock. Whether you go to Manalipandina or whether you go to Char Steakhouse, you're going to be in shock by the sticker.

You're going to, stakes are high, and so am I. It's in New York today. You know what I'm saying? Joey's grocery store. So, stakes are high. Stakes are high. Yeah, everything. Eggs are high.

So what does a family do? They have to resort to, the Boston Market dinner deal. Which ain't bad. I've been there. For years, I ate Boston Market Turkey for Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Okay? Because for a guy like me as a single guy with a girlfriend, I'm not going to make a fucking turkey. Okay, that. And Boston Market Turkey is, Turkey's turkey. Turkey's fucking turkey, okay?

No calories, high in protein. It puts you to sleep, you know. But for me, I don't know if Boston Market is even considered fast food. I don't know. I know the chicken is horrible. They started using cancer chickens from fucking Bolivia or something. That's where I'd go when I was

tricking, when I was trying to trick myself thinking I was eating healthier. I'll go to Boston Market, but then the, yeah, the problem isn't the chicken or the turkey. It's the mashed potatoes and the the yams with the marshmallows on top. That cream spinach.

Absolutely. But it's, there's ways to do it. There's ways to do it. But it's very tough. Even, to be honest, even fast food is expensive now. So like what? Holy shit. Yeah. A couple weeks ago, I got up on a Saturday morning.

I got up a little early. My wife was sleeping. I said, let me be a good husband and go over to McDonald's and just get three egg McMuffins. Yeah. That's it. Three egg McMuffins ain't going to kill you. The points are low.

No, it's a real egg. They crack it. Yeah, it's like 12 points on there or something. points. Not that bad. You don't eat the potato pancake. Oh, I do. And I drink a little bit of the orange juice. Four ounces. Nah, you know, you're trying to. You're trying. That's not the point of the story.

Point of the story was I got three breakfasts and two cinnamon rolls. One for Mercy. Have you had the cinnamon rolls from McDonald? Yes. They're the best fucking cinnamon rolls you've ever had in your life. They don't skimp on that white cream. Yeah. You ever got a cinnamon roll? They always skimp on the white cream.

You ever make them at home? Pillsbury always gives you that package that don't have enough cream for all of them. You're like, motherfucker. They give you just enough and shit like this. I would become like a mathematician. Like I would scoop just the same amount. And then I would drag it on the pan. I would take it like it was a chip with dip and I would scoop the cup.

But that one of McDonald's aren't bad. You get them when they're hot. I'm telling you. If everybody went down to drain. Like if you go to any place in Jersey, any supermarket you walk in, has that little tray with the cinnamon rolls or they got the other ones pineapple when you walk in those bag they all have

and they're not bad but they're great McDonald's fucking whatever anyway how much was it 37 dollars fuck you 37 fucking nuts for three egg sandwiches and two yeah no I told my show my wife the receipt I was like dog it's gonna be a cold winter gentlemen ladies and gentlemen

yeah I'm not sitting here just dropping stupid shit I'm telling you that don't take much. That restaurant we went to last night, I got bad news for you. That motherfucker is packed seven days a week. Yeah, good stuff. There's always going to be people there. And last night, there wasn't a lot of people.

I mean, there was people there. They were peat, but it wasn't slammed. That fucking gay guy sang happy birthday. Five, happy birthdays last night. Oh, I hated that fucking. We were dying. I even told the guy, you like the official birthday singer. Because gay people love birthdays.

I don't know what is about gay men. They had a lot of the feet. They wear like the white socks and they float up and down and shit. This guy was so happy every time because he came out of the back. Like, oh, you ever see the bird cage? Yeah, oh, I love that movie. Robin Williams. What's the other dude that the Spanish made?

Oh, oh, oh, please. That's a great movie. You do not like my Span. You do not like my Benazuelanus, my heat. It's like, what's his name, Is Kiara? Is that him? Yeah, Hank Azaria. Hank his area.

But that's what he would do. He would always, when they were singing happy birthday, he's like, happy birthday. With the gay voice, fucking tremendous. That's a great movie, Doug. Yeah. Birdcage is fucking Gene Hackman. To see Gene Hackman in the French connection,

chasing fucking black people and getting hit by cars. And then to see him and fucking... Well, he's crazy to dad. They don't want to tell him. The bird cage. Oh, my God. I love all that shit. But just to keep this conversation on track,

to talk about what I lived with Josh Wolfe, guys, 97 to 99. Now, after I snorted all the Taco Bell money, after I snorted the Taco Bell money, the shells, the fucking sour cream, after I snorted everything, I went into a deep fucking period. We all were from the end of 9th,

the beginning of 99 to, like the end of 98 to 99 was rough. That one summer, I'll never forget, 98 going into 99 was a rough summer. That's when I used to rob cigarettes from the gas station in the morning or put cigarettes on the arm. I would steal a pack and put a pack on credit. It's by one, get one free.

He just didn't know. And then I would go to Josh Wolves, and hopefully he had a turkey burger. I would wake up Ralphie Mae, and hopefully he could give me five bucks, and I would walk to Wendy's and get for five bucks in those days

I get the Junior Cheeseburger I get the bowl of chili because I needed the most bang for my fucking buck I got $5 here man I get the bowl of chili and the Junior Cheeseburger and I'd fucking get like a large ice tea

and I'd just lurk around the salad bar like they always had the salad ball When it was yellow I remember I remember Yellow Wendy's was a great place And guys when I was eating that shit Do you think I was thinking about my health? Do you think I was thinking about the carbohydrate value in this shit?

I was just looking to survive. Yeah. I'm doing comedy. When I was on the road early on, I was eating Subway sandwiches. At least I wasn't eating the turkey and all that shit. I was getting veggie and cheese, you know. But I know what it's like to have a veggie and cheese for lunch and have a veggie and cheese for dinner in your car.

That's part of doing comedy. This is it. You wanted it. You got it. Okay? you wanted it, you got it. Like ACBC said, it's a long way to the top

if you want to rock and roll. And this is fucking part of it. And so that was the thing I went on. And then I went to Florida when my apartment got towed and things changed after that. And I never stepped fucking foot in Wendy's ever again. I don't blame me.

And then over the years, it's always been, I'm like any other body, man. I'm an American. And every once in a while, I want a fucking quarter pounder. Oh, yeah. Every once in a while, I want a quarter pounder.

And Red Band, that motherfucker told me that quarter pounders are the only hamburger that McDonald's sells that is really meat. Deal. You have to look this up. Everything else is like meat byproducts and fucking donkey tail.

Yeah, they sell for a dollar four. Yeah. Like, I can't like... But those... I'll eat the fuck out of some nuggets. I'll, but yeah, those quarter pounders aren't bad. McNuggets are nasty? Yeah.

Yeah, it's chicken hot dogs that are fried. But yeah, quarter pounders. Listen, when you eat McDonald's, it's like eating White Castle. You bite into it, you close your eyes and you say enjoy. When I go to White Castle, I don't eat 15 burgers. I eat three because that's what my conscience can live with. Right. Three double burgers with steam cheese, the fries, and the fucking Pepsi with the soda,

and I eat it and I don't look back. Because I know I'm not going to eat it again tomorrow. This is just a situation that happened to, I got, you know, when we moved here, we went to White Castle two times in three months. Asked me if I've been there again. No, I asked my daughter, you want to go to White Castle? I'm going to fucking look at you. I'm okay.

But, you know, these are the things you do in economic, yeah, when you're in economic dire situations, you know, when I look at, and I'm not here to judge or say anything wrong with that. But when I go into a store that has a family dinner, I kind of like that place. If you know anything about me and my beef with the American family. So any place that I see has like a family bargain, like, you know, Sundays. Yeah, like, like, NONAs, you feed the kids free on Sunday. Oh, perfect. I'll go there every Sunday. It's my, you know what I'm saying?

You don't think of going to Nona's, but for them to do that, I support Nona's from time to time because they do that. I'm big on that. If I go to an, like Osteria in Marlborough, it costs you $8 to walk in the door that. Okay? It's going to cost you $8. You're going to get the best food you're going to have. It's going to be fresh. The lettuce is fresh.

Everything's fresh. But you're going to spend $8 to walk in there. Is that the place where they come around with the Parmesan cheese to put it on for you? It's already grated and just some guy with a spoon. Yeah, it's tremendous. It costs you $8 to fucking. But on the Monday night, when you do a $16.95 burger, which if you go to the best burger in Jersey and the stage, it's 24.

for that burger. And it's fucking mind-boggling. It's a fucking sexual experience. Okay? When you bite into the cheeseburger at the stage, it's a sexual experience. It's better than eating pussy the first time. You just sit there and stare out into the sky.

What's so good about it? What do they do? I have no idea. I don't know what it's... Dog, I've been in there with gorillas that want a steak, and they'll still get a cheeseburger. The last time I went, we got six steaks,

and we got two cheeseburg. burgers chopped up with the four pieces. Yeah, just cut it. Each person can a little bite. We told them, the manager came over. It's like, you guys look a little confused. What's going on? We're like, man, we're in a steakhouse.

And all of us are like, we're in a steakhouse. We really want to get a steak on a lobster town. But God damn, that fucking burgers. It's the number one burger in New York City. Wow. And it's in Jersey, and they took it off the list after it won four years in the row. Like, we can't. How can the best Jersey in New York being fucking Jersey?

That's crazy. But yeah, those, you called me when I was in LA. I was at probably one of my top happy hours that I know of. Sushi Dan from like three to five, I would, I love happy hours. I don't, when you go in and the rolls are usually 12, but there are six or something. I went in there and had like an $80 lunch, but it was because I fucking had, I just didn't stop. I, oh, a happy hour, especially at a sushi place where you sit at the sushi bar. And this guy starts giving you ones you didn't order.

Oh, I love a happy hour. Because that's when you can really get your money's worth. That's when you're like, fuck it. I'm going to. You know, when I used to go to San Jose with you. Right. I loved original Joe. Oh, yeah.

Like, we fucking ran to original Joe. That place was great. You could get a side of ravioli. I've never even had that before. Oh, my God. But, but before I hit all those restaurants, I always went to McCormick and Schmitz. I support McCormick and Schmitz to the end because when we were starving comics, Those motherfuckers had a $2 menu, and they never turned me away.

I will never forget that. If I see a McCormick and Schmitz, if I go to anywhere, Toledo, Kentucky, wherever I go, when they go, go down there, there's a bunch of restaurants you're like, you'll see a California, you know, what's the California? Pizza Kitchen, yeah. California Pizza Kitchen. No, but what's the other one? The cheesecake factory, you know.

Okay, yeah. Like, when you go to Columbus, Ohio, and you stay at the hotel, just walk. You're going to hit all of them. every chain you want you know whatever from the steakhouse to fucking the little ones but if I see a McCormick and Schmitz

they all go out the window I go support them first because when me Josh Wolf Brody we were broke fucking comics and I'm talking about guys you know when you're like looking at a bag of chips going

I hope this thing has protein in it when you're at the comedy club and you're like I hope they make a mistake with the kitchen that type of hunger And we would go to McCormick and Schmitz, and they had a $2 fucking menu. And I would, if you had $50, think of the damage, you could do on that $2 menu.

The $2 menu was from 4 to 7 and from 10 to close. And he'd be there at what, $101? We'd get there right after the show. We'd get there at 1115, maybe, and stay till 2. It was $2 for a bottle of Coke. Okay. You know those really good 16-ounce ones? Yeah.

We would get those. It was $2 for an order of French fries. Nice. $2 for a fucking. quarter pound cheeseburger. They had like shrimp cocktail for two bucks with Katrina's shrimp. You don't care at that point?

No, no, I don't care. But my loyalty always goes to them because of what they did for me with that happy hour. Many nights I ate like a champion. And you don't put it together. Like people are like, well, I'd rather go to McDonald's. They're offering a $2 menu.

Dick what? I just told you. You get a quarter of fries and a huge fucking and burger for four fucking bucks. Two more for the soda. That's six. Give her a $4 tip. So next time you go in there,

she'll throw you an order of fries for free. Right. Because you threw a $2 trip. Most people who go to the $2.00 menu are deadbeats. They don't tip. They'll leave chains like pennies and a dime and shit. You know, when you give that, you know, the $2.00 menu, you give a $4 out of your last 10.

And she's probably going, God damn, good for you. Come in and I'll throw your soda. And that's what happened. They would throw us coax all the time, you know? Yeah, that's, and would you get excited? Like, you knew you had a show then. You're like, oh, we'll go to McCormick and Schmick on the way back.

I fucking, that's the first thing I thought. It's like when we used to go to Hollywood. What was our thing on Saturday nights? We always went and got a piece of pizza with Eric. We did comedy, but then we did our comedy. Let's go get a slice of pizza. And we'd giggle and then go home. It was a simple fucking night.

We'd go, and I did the drive the last time, but we'd only stop if there was a parking spot. I would get pissed when there was no parking spot. Because, like, there wasn't always a parking spot there, but when we'd stop, oh, and it was just, when you're going, like, like you were saying earlier, about getting something to go home, like, after a spot to go and grab that slice, and we'd get two, eat one there, bring one home. You have that one waiting. God. There's nothing like setting up the night with food. When you're a fat fuck, these are things you do.

And listen, some people may go to McDonald's to get prepared. I'm not mad at you. Some people might go to Taco Bell. That's part of it. That's crazy that we also had Taco Bell on my block in L.A. And that fucking Taco Bell at night, dog, it would wrap around the corner cars. Even fucking drive a Magnolia. Oh, it was open all night.

Yeah, this was open all night. And that's the only thing. It opened all night in L.A. And that's what always, you know, when you go, how many, how all these people are eating this shit? And you're like, people are still smoking cigarettes after all the warnings. Yeah. You know, so people are going to do what the fuck they want. Last thing I want to talk to you about real quick.

Not big. Just, I just want to see what your thoughts on or what. Okay. No offense either. No, for anybody who watches it, please. Give us a fucking break. How do you feel being Jewish with all this shit going on in the last fucking three weeks, two weeks? So I'll preface this by saying I avoid the news.

So I know what he said vaguely. the problem is like I'll hear you I've seen like the clips and then I was talking to someone who's like really into that world and he was saying well he said it a different way it's it's definitely tough it's tough like the death con thing I don't know what you mean by that but that doesn't seem good and then the the part that's like scary is like not even so much that he says it but then I forget where it was I think it was somewhere at like a sporting event someone had a projector that was projecting like Kanye was right about the Jews. Someone in like L.A. or somewhere had like a sign up on the overpass that Kanye was right about the Jews. It's just people are so angry that like you don't know what people are going to do. It's I get being frustrated and I get all that because I don't know what's going on in Kanye's life. But yeah, it's all the shit going around it.

It can get scary because you don't know. what's going to set someone off. If you say someone, if you, if you say someone knows, finds out your Jewish and they go crazy. It's, uh, it's just a weird time. But I, I, to be honest, I avoid it. And it is as much as like, it's crazy what he said. And it's crazy that, like, how quickly his entire world just came crashing down. Just like, Adidas is gone.

He's getting escorted out of Puma or wherever it was. you and he I saw on something that he's on an interview he said like I didn't break any laws and he didn't he didn't break any laws but in this day and age you can't

you just can't say shit like that we had a podcast we did a podcast with Mike last week and I spoke about that I didn't know the impact that a person can have with their voice yeah I never did you know and I've been warned

before as a child would be careful what you say and shit but I never looked at it like that. I thought Kanye's remarks, well, like any other idiot's remarks in life, they're going to be dismissed. I, not being a Jewish person, but liking having a lot of Jewish friends,

some I consider family, somebody considered friends. I looked at it and I was like, you know, because the first thing you read is Jamie Lee Curtis, who isn't Jewish, broke into tears because the father was Jewish. Then again, people forget Halloween's around the corner and she's trying to sell tickets for a fucking movie.

Yeah. October's her fucking month, you know, so she's got to come up with something. So when I saw that right away, I go, here come the phonies. Right. Yeah, there's a lot of that. I saw that. You know, he was around for a week and the comments were out there. And then I saw that, uh, CIA had let him go.

And I called one of my agents when I go, you let my boy go, you know, like a joke. And he goes, Joey, we had to. Yeah, they have no choice. He goes, we had to. Not because, listen, at first, he, he said, he was, he. He was off the meds. You know, there's a thousand excuses I could make for you. And in time, they'll blow over.

People understand mental health as, you know, the kid from Comedy Central that's quitting. Trevor Noah, yeah. Trevor Noah said the same thing. I said, and I didn't copy it from him. I saw he said it days later. I got no beef with mental health. Right. It's not just him.

If you look at wide along the spectrum, You're going to see a lot of people that are slowly losing their mind little by little. Entertainers, Antonio Brown walked off a field through his shirt. I'm 59 years old.

I've been watching football for years. Nobody's ever quit in the middle of a game throwing his shirt up in the fucking air and done it. And I got a thousand fucking theories. Yeah. I'm not conspiracy theories, but I got a thousand legit theories

that I've, you know, I watch a lot of 60 minutes. I watch a lot of, I read a lot of stuff. that little break in life that we had it affected people, gave us too much time to think. For some people,

for some people they didn't think enough. For some people, they got all this time to think. And once the world opened up, they went out there like a fucking racehorse and they didn't deal with the shit that they had brought upon with the pandemic. There's a thousand excuses I can make.

But the only excuse I can't make for Kanye or anybody else, because now they're attacking the guy from the nets. Tyree, yeah. I don't have no idea what he said. I did not see the, he supported something, he put up a tweet of a movie that made anti-Semitic remarks. Oh, Jesus.

You know, I saw the fucking sign on the stadium. Kanye was read about the Jews. And that's what got me fucked up. What I heard about the people had any signs and that they passed out flyers in Beverly Hills. You know, those are old Jewish people. They don't fucking know. Right.

You know, they don't know what's going on. So, yes, they contacted CA or whatever. I don't know. and they got rid of them. But now what I was really blown away by, and I told Mike and everybody else last week, was how the response he got, he got a negative response to the comments,

but then he dug up these old fucking Jew haters, you know, and fucking Nazis. Yeah. And that's when I saw the problem. And that's when I understood why people were mad at Joe. I wasn't mad at Joe for what. he was saying. It got nothing to do with me.

But I understand the power of a voice. Now I understand why they're so, by Gentiles are so mad at Trump for setting he incited the riot on the six. Maybe he made a remark. People took it the wrong way. Look at when he's told people to drink bleach, motherfuckers drank bleach.

Yeah, that's the problem. You and I, us three, the golden triangle, between the three of us, there's no fucking Phi Beta Kappa's here. We didn't drink the fucking bleach. But he drank the bleach. So that goes to tell you where people's head is at. We're so lost as human beings. I don't know what Kanye did with it.

Kanye is the king of attention. Oh, yeah, of course. Those guys are the king of making algorithms and whatever the fuck they want to call, you know. I don't know if he did this as a joke to blow. He's not blowing anything up. Yeah. It's not like two weeks from now.

He's like, did you know what? Kanye had it. Now I'm coming out. And you're like, no wonder he must. made those remarks. He's like, ah, he's just trying to settle it out. Right, but we're talking about him. And I don't know if you saw this.

Someone came across my Instagram. It was an interview with Elvis. And someone was asking him about would he sign up for the war? Because he had previously served. And he was like, hey, man, I'm an artist. I don't really want to talk about that. I don't have an opinion. And they said, oh, do you have an opinion on other artists saying this?

He's like, no, I don't have an opinion on that either. So it's, I'm not saying celebrities can't. say their opinion, but people have always hated Jews. From the beginning of time, people have hated Jews. That's never going to change, unfortunately. People are going to hate everybody. But if you're going to have those thoughts, just keep it to yourself. Like, I think that's the scariest part.

Is it just when someone like that says it, people around the world feel like they can say it too. And it just, it leads to bad shit. You know what I, when we started, when we're doing the church, I was on the road a lot. And I'd make fucking crazy remarks on the podcast about African-Americans, I'd make Hindus, I'd make jokes about fucking Puerto Ricans, and I'd make joke about all these other ethnic groups. And then I'd go do a show in that town, and who would I want to take a picture of me? A guy from that ethnic group or an African-American kid.

I went to New Orleans, I thought they were going to kill me. because to add insult to injury, I was bombing, and I did that stupid joke about when I got fired, I fucking calling the guy of moon cricket and all this shit. And I was like, I'm going to get killed at the end of this show. And at the end of the show, the people who were talking to me the most were African-Americans and African-American chicks.

And whenever I go into a town, like when I would say the hummus jokes and all that shit, Arabs would come to my show and bring me hummus, and we laugh about it. So my words, even though I was, saying shit to the untrained eye, they'd look and go, that guy's making racist remarks. The people that I was making the racist remarks about, and not in a bad way, but it was a joke. Like, you know, you smell like 10 dead Puerto Ricans.

Even Puerto Ricans laugh at that. They would come to the show and go, we heard that joke. And I would go, holy fuck, I didn't get beat up. I didn't get punched in the face by that big Arab. I didn't get punched in the face by that Indian family. Right. They liked the joke. They even come and mention it to me.

Well, you were just saying it. You were just said, we don't know what Kanye's intention was. and the people who would come to your shows know that you don't hate them. They know your intent was, I'm not anything, but I think you would say most anything if you thought it would make people laugh.

If you thought, if it didn't, if it wasn't like horrible and you thought it would make like an audience laugh, you'd probably say it. The thing is, is where none of these people know who Kanye is, none of these people who knew Kyrie Irving is or what he really thinks and they hear it and they're just they're just taking it for what he

actually said you would say shit that yeah like my favorite thing was going to TSA or to eat with you late at night and there'd be a woman there and you would say stuff that would send people to jail no not that but you would like hit on them like very openly and but like not and but they could even tell like you weren't actually hitting on them but you were complimenting them but just in ways my favorite one was that TSA because you would have me go with you to like the first class line and I was always fucking nervous but there would be these African-American women working at

LAX at 4 in the morning but they were already happy to be there they were already full of energy and you'd walk you walked up to one and I think it's a line you've used before but you would say I'm going to tear the Beyonce poster off the wall and they would fucking lose it they would love oh my God I would if I thought of saying that to anyone

I thought I'd get smacked and you'd walk up and he would like be like tremendous and you just walk away you wouldn't even wait for them to respond oh my god just say crazy shit at the bottom of american airlines that's exactly what i'm talking about terminal four she was a hot sister guys she had to be about 50 she's probably 511 280 with blonde streaks in the hair just a sister looking fucking beautiful in the morning and other people are looking oh she's just a big woman i'm telling you this chick was beautiful And we became friends.

And every time, when you have to show in my car, I just go, look at you sexy motherfucker. And she'd go, oh, my God. And I just spoke right past her. But I would do that to every. I didn't care because I'm not hitting on you. I'm just letting you know. Who doesn't want to know at 4 in the morning

if they're a sexy motherfucker? When you tell a woman at 4 in the morning, when you bump into her 4.30 in the morning, she's feeling she's not even thinking about looking good. She's just thinking about getting to the job and having a kid's fucking lunch packed. And she's there waiting online and people like, hi, do you know if my fine's delayed?

Hi, do you know why I get my luggage? And also I come up to you looking smoother than a motherfucker today, aren't you? And that's exactly what I'll say to him. You're looking smoother than a motherfucker today. And while they're signing my thing and looking at my idea like, and the sisters are the best because you can get away with that. You're looking good today. If I had an extra 20 minutes, I'd take on a date.

They go off the boat. They go off. The best was the time we were at the steakhouse. Oh, God. There was a lady who had to be fucking 70. Walk past us dialed up. She looked like a fucking antique. But in her mind, she looked good.

In her mind, she was out dressed to impress. And she came by the table and I'm like, you look and fucking, remember I said something to her? Oh, yeah. I'm going to pull the wig off or something. Yep. And she fucking came back and gave me her number. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We were sitting right by the bathroom, right? Right by the bathroom. Oh, God. You should call me once in a while. She was like 75. This is five years ago, four years ago, over the holidays. Yeah. That was crazy.

Dog, just trying to make that day. That's it. You just say, when that Me Too thing came out three years ago, I was depressed. And I go, you know what? I'm not going to stop being me over it. There's no way. There's no way. I got these moms on my block.

The lady who shot me in the face five times last week. with the needle. She walked past my house every day. I got her to pay her and the Asian lady, Jen up the corner. Right. My mom's on this block. Okay. I tell them more. I got the hottest. All of them. I tell them all. You guys, I got the hottest moms on my fucking block.

That's right. They're like, Joey, you're so silly. I don't know how you do it, but he's... And there's the leader up there, so I call her at a house direct. And I go, I just seen Dr. Aliona and I seen Jen. I got the hottest moms on the blocks, then she'll call him. And go, Joey just said that about it. They'll go, oh my God, he said it to me too. He's so sweet. I didn't even do my hair this morning, you know, shit like that. They walk around here. Yeah, they love it. Robin from

up the corner. They all walk here. And I tell Robin every day, Robin, and she'll look up, looking good, and she'll just walk away, shaking the head like this motherfucker. He knows my husband. He knows I'm goofing on them. I love all that shit. Yeah. And they love it. And you may, and that's, but like, you said me too. Like, you don't touch them. You don't make them on calm. No. Like, you literally say it and walk away. Sometimes and like they they'll just they just it makes them it's I don't know if it's a compliment or what it is It's a fucking compliment. It's letting somebody know that look that listen man there's nothing a woman wants more For a man to say that you look very nice today. I like your shoes. I like your hair

If you do that with your mom you're a fucking winner you know if you do that with your girlfriend or your wife Because they don't expect it anymore right your wife doesn't expect you to go I like that blouse so if you say it Once in a while I like that blah. I like your hair. It makes their day. And that's what we're in the business of doing. Absolutely. Just making somebody's day with a simple hello.

Anything. What's going on? You fat fuck. Anything that nobody else says to them. I think I went for a milkshake the other day. No. And he put T.HC in it. Oh, you did?

Okay. Yes. If you used the THC, he's got some T8C, you want me to put it in? I go put it all in there. Well, you got an ice cream in that comes by the house. That's heaven. Oh, yeah. That's heaven.

To Softie until Friday. Tomorrow's, this Friday's his last day. I'll be here. Until the wind. Comes about three fucking 35. My daughter will walk in at three and go, Mr. Softie's coming today. I go, how do you know?

He told me last week. Yesterday, I'm like, I don't think he's coming because it was cloudy. I don't think he's coming. Fuck it. Sure enough, he fucking showed up. I'm like, mercy, she was already outside. I love it. She was already outside.

It was just disturbing. and I wanted to see I'm not Jewish. I don't really hang out with a lot of Jewish people here. You're basically my only Jewish friend. We talk on the phone, but I wanted to check with you to see if you had spoken. I don't know if you go to temple still. My family's upset.

There are a lot of people who are very upset, and I get it, especially, like, my parents' generation, because, like, their parents were, like, in the Holocaust, or, like, their grandparents, maybe. And I understand being upset. I apologize just because I Living with my parents the past couple years It just show has shown me

Like how much because they late they always watch the news So I've just made a concerted effort to be like I just can't I watch a little bit of the local news I read what I'm interested in but I see the Kanye stuff and I don't even watch it I don't want to see someone I think now they're just making stuff up Because he won't shut the fuck up every day I just stop I just I'm really uh

It's so funny the last six months or so I've really been trying to tape them down my time Every Sunday I get like a little message that says this week You spent, you know, how many hours? I can't even look at that. I'm trying to get, no, I got it down under seven. A whole week?

Yeah, I got sick and tired of being on there for 10 hours. You know, I can't imagine what I was on there When we lived in LA And I finally a couple months ago, I was like, I kept seeing that thing coming up screen time I'm like, you know what? This isn't healthy. Because eight hours, you're losing a day on the computer.

Yeah. That's a work day you're doing on the computer. And what are you doing? Looking at people on Twitter, you know, and there's times, listen. The other side of that is there's times I put YouTube on. Just when I'm doing shit. Right. And Facebook and Twitter will be open.

And people think I'm on them. I'm not on there at all. It's so funny, I'll go on Facebook and I get no messages. And once I leave the thing open with YouTube playing, I come back and I got eight messages. I guess it tells you when somebody's... Yeah. Yeah, I don't even know where the fuck to start that.

So it's kind of weird when that happens. But no, I just wanted to see where it was at. Like I said, people are going to say shit all the time. But I think right now we're just in a mental health type of fucking play. I'm seeing it. I felt it for a little while. I felt my actions. And then I got a little fucking, you know, I started journaling again just to get my feet back under me.

Listen, I'm still crazy But I'm not saying Jew jokes On fucking CNN You know what I'm saying? I'm not Right I'm not I'm not saying shit about Jews

Or any other Group on CNN But it's not just I noticed it with Erza Miller Was crazy for a while That he must have Yeah He must have drank some fucking tranny juice

On a full moon You know Uh Is he good now? Is he good now? Yeah Because they had to sit him down And talk to him

And go Enough is enough You can't drink Trenny juice on a mid on a full moon. You know, that's what happened. You can't, you could drink the tranny juice, not on a full moon. Oh, Jesus.

Getting fucked up. Yeah. No, no, no. It's out there. And we're seeing, look at, bro, to this day, nobody has mentioned. Antonio Brown is stealing watches and throwing t-shirts. And, I mean, with him, it could be the CTE. But he was around Donda for a while, too.

He was hanging around with that fucking dude, too. I love that he's posting pictures of Giselle, though. I think that's hysterical. I mean, he's losing his mind. Yeah, he's losing his mind. And listen, there's a lot of people. You know, I think Kyrie Irvin's been retarded for years. You know, I really do think he's retarded for fucking years.

This just put, I don't even, you know, I love him as a basketball player. Yeah. If you bet him to score 28 points a night, he'll cover. He always covers with a bet, but that motherfucker dog, I, listen, man, it's just a different world. And this is the only place where we find a little. little bit of fucking peace doing a podcast once in a while. I hope I don't come out of here and say fucking crazy shit about different ethnic groups. But even if you do, everyone knows what it means.

And you can tell when people say it with hate in their heart. Oh, always, always. And I don't have, guys, it's... The only thing you hate is ranch, that's all. Ranch, Rens, dressing. That's it. And motherfuckers who ask too many questions. The world's in a rough fucking place right now.

But you know what? We're headed to the city tonight, Cocksuckers. I love you. Thank you for watching the joint today. I want to thank Lee and Mike for being here. And I'll see you, Coxuckers. Next Monday tip, top, Magoo. I don't know about the rest of the week because I'm shooting a movie.

So congratulations. Now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right, you Coxuckers. Thank you very much for watching the podcast today or listening. Whatever you chose, I want to thank you. Lee and Mike for being here. And I want to thank you guys for always being savages. But I want to thank Stamps.com.

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