The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #218 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

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This podcast is brought to you by Onit. Go to Onit.com and look at the great selection of supplements. If you find something you like, press in code Joey and get 10% off delivered right to your house. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, December 5th. It's a whole new month with a whole new set of fucking rules. Get ready, Savage is this Saturday. UFC 282 is here.

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Minimine age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details and listen, we got a Monday night football game. So you get the party started tonight. Let's get this party started right now though. The joint is here on a Monday morning. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday. The fifth of fucking December was a great weekend.

War ready in goddamn fucking December. We're in it to win it, Jack. You know, like I was watching, oh, son's anarchy when the fucking guy goes, I don't want to go to war. And he goes, son, we're already in it. You know what I'm saying? Like, we're already in it. It's getting cold.

and it's December. That's it. It was a great fucking weekend. Hung out with the girls. No comedy. I didn't do dick. Worked out. Went to a Gracie seminar on Saturday.

I got my blue belt at the fucking promotion finally. I got it the right way. I did the fucking steps. I did the classes. I don't really think I'm a blue belt. But I went up there with an open mind. To be honest with you guys, I'm like, I'm not getting no fucking blue belt today,

and I was fine with that. I'm just listening. For me, in my world, I'm an old man. I'm not trying to go to the no-gee worlds or the worlds or nothing. I'm just trying to get in shape, meet new people, you know, fuck around a little bit,

get hurt, get choked out. That's it. But I'm really happy, you know, I tell you guys all the time that, listen, you might not be good at something. Stand up. For me, what do you think I fucking got up on the stage and people were giving me,

fucking props. No, it's a journey and it's sticking with it that is so beneficial. Like anybody could fucking quit anything. Anybody sticking with it is what people usually don't do, you know? And again, you know, I learned from my mistakes and I try to, the mistakes I really made, I always try to correct them. When I first joined Jiu-Jitsu, I was getting information from everywhere and it was very confusing for me. My schedule was fucked up. There was weeks I could train. I couldn't train. And I didn't think I gave myself a fair chance.

I really loved Alberto Crane school where I got my blue belt. I loved subconscious. But I was always missing something. After I tore my hamstring, I was like, that's it. I'm not going to be able to do shit anymore. In fact, I gave a bunch of my geese away. I saved like two geese. And when I got here, I got bored one day, and I was just Googling shit.

I saw it. There was a Gray C school. And I went up there, and I really liked what they did. I liked the program. It wasn't a California-type program. It was a slower, more fundamental program. And I went, and man, I'll tell you, I struggle every fucking class. But I show up.

And I'm a little older. I understand that. I have to give myself a breather. Like, you have to, when you start, you just so they tell you to check your ego at the door, which you should be doing in all aspects of all your life. But at my age, I really got to go in there and check my ego at the door. There's not much I can do. But just showing up, man, doing the warm-ups, trying the best you can, laughing with people.

It makes a world of a difference. And if it gets me a little healthy, listen, at my age right now, all you keep hearing, even fucking Thor. Look at fucking Thor. Thor is like a guy that eats fucking carrots and lips weights and drinks fucking carrot juice and shit. And he's taking six months off because he's got some gene or something, but he's got dementia. You know how much that scares me? You know what I live with right now? I live with my friends telling me about their parents.

And how hard it is to fucking... I have a friend right now that he's the sweetest guy in the world. I've known this guy for fucking 40 years. I mean, just a gentleman. And his mother is in hospice. You know, she doesn't even know who she is half the time. The father, you know, it's fucking rough. So dementia scares the fuck out of me.

Like, we did cocaine. We smoked refa for four. 40 fucking years. I got hit in the head a couple times. I'm a little concerned. So that's why when you get older, I like to do things that involve your mind, involve steps.

When you do jiu-jitsu, I grab you. Let's say it's a fucking arm bar from the clothes guard. I got to pull your arm, put my leg on your fucking hip, you know, fucking throw this leg over, take your balance off, and then push your face away so my leg could get over. Those are steps.

It's 60. So you have to memorize those steps and that's that will help me with dementia when you hit the bag You do combos right I'm not Muhammad Ali but you do little combos you break the sweat all those little You know jab on uppercut left hook fucking right cross all that shit and reputation and repetition reputation It must it must fucking help you a fuck out you know so this is why I'm into this stuff. People always said yeah but you do that. Guys, I'm harmless. I can't do anything.

My flying through the head days have come to a fucking end. But just showing up. I can't say this enough to people. Just showing up. And guess what? Some days you're going to have shitty days. You might have two shitty days. You've got a shitty day at the gym. You go to the gym and you're not feeling it and the weights.

But then you go in there some other days and you're fucking throwing things around like fucking Thor. You're throwing weights around. and people and, you know. So you have bad days and good days, but the most important thing is not to give up. You know, those guys are jihitsu, what they always say to me, man.

And it means the world. The other day when I got the blue belt, when I walked up to Hollis, and I was like, Hollis, I'm not ready for this. And he goes, yes, you are. He goes, I know the first time you got your blue belt, you think you weren't ready. This time you're ready.

You're putting in the work and just keep showing up. They have a multitude of classes you go. You go to classes and not roll. You go to classes and drill. You go to classes and get killed. So I'm happy I go in there. It's more of a therapy for me, honest to God. The first time I went to Jiu-Jitsu was the day of the Many Saints in the Work premiere.

And I was petrified. I had a horrible fear of fucking COVID. Horrible. Now I walk into a COVID cave. I don't give a fuck. I walk into it doesn't matter. But guys, at first, it really jarred me the fear. And I still remember him calling me, me walking upstairs to a room and fucking going,

like it was just me and him in the class. We're doing a private, Sean, who also got his brown belt yesterday. I fucking, this is my little brother. This is my son. I love this little Irishman. He's the one that made me go back in there. And I never forget walking out of it at first day. I'll never forget him being in my close garden breathing on me and me going,

if I'm not dying by this. You know, I didn't even want people breathing on me, my back, so I wouldn't leave the fucking house. Just the fact that I went there and did it. When I got up off that mat, I did a horrible job that day. I couldn't even fucking breathe. But when I walked down those stairs, I was like, this is what I needed to eliminate that fear.

And I got in the car and went right into the Beacon Theater, and I walked down. There was 2,000 fucking people there. And I'm like, here we go. We're going to die again now. But I fucking didn't get COVID. The point is that that, that, Jiu-Jit-2 eliminated my fear.

And then three months later, I ended up getting COVID in here. We fucking are. But I'm really happy that I fucking walked in there. And, you know, a lot of these guys always said to me, Joey, we wish we could get our fathers to come in here. Like every four classes, a guy who go, man, I was talking to my wife and I told you, come in here. And she's like, he's a real fucking dude.

You know, because in L.A., guys like me would take private classes and I don't want nobody else in the gym. And me, why join Jiu-Jitsu if you're not going to be involved with people? That's what part of it is. It's human touch. It's grabbing. It's pushing. And at the end, you shake hands.

I mean, you laugh, your fucking ass off. And it's like my daughter. I watch my daughter. My daughter does basketball. She's got a little circle of friends. I don't know how many times I'll tell my daughter, we're going to kickboxing today. We're going to Fat Joe's.

And she's like, I don't know, Dad. As soon as I walk in the door with her, she's giggling with these fucking. kids because you have a whole new set of friends over there and now we're going to start doing more things at night and dinners and shit like that but it's just a way of life and if you're a little lost or confused or yeah whatever the fuck you're going through it might be the answer this is a kid that I had on my Patreon Kurt McPeak I love this. Kurt's a bad motherfucker Kurt joined Kurt went up there Kurt told me you think I should go and I go Kurt

Kurt's a little shy guy very personable he goes up there, he just got his second stripe. He fucking goes to double classes. Kurt walks with Lee on the Patreon. He's just a sweetheart of a kid, and that's a feather in my cap. For me, when I see Kurt up there,

Kurt will hit me on Patreon. I went to two classes. I'm sore as fuck. I can't walk. My eyes are sore. You know, but they'll always thank me. Thank you. Thank you for giving me a device to come up here. It's fucking great. The guys are great. So I'm very happy

And like I said to you You're lonely You're fucking out of shape I mean whatever Listen just join Don't tell me that Well I need to get in shit Just join

You'll get in shape as you go And the people will take care of you more Than what the fuck you think Guys people take care of you in Jiujitsu Oh my God There's certain guys The older belts They'll come over and go

Don't do this man Don't do this do this Don't let this fucking animal Get on top of you You know, so trust me, it's a different fucking world. I never thought I would love this world. I mean, I'm an old man. I got nothing going for me, but I can go.

And there's a guy that's 69 that kicks my ass every time I go. There's another guy that's 65, Charlie, I'm going to go see him. He's at Gracie and Long Branch. And all these schools are connected. So you could train at Gracie Middletown, Gracie O'Bridge. I can get in the car tomorrow and go to Long Branch, or I can get in the car tomorrow night and go to Gracie, fucking that's what my daytime teacher is.

I love that. Hargrove, Garland or something like that. Garwood, Gracie Garwood. So you can train at all these different schools. And guys, it's like next Sunday. I got to go to a fucking school at Long Branch is doing their grand opening. You know, so this is what, you know, you go, you talk to people, you eat some fucking Brazilian food, you get an assaybo, you eat the granola and the fruit, and you call it a

fucking night. What else has been going on this week? I've been getting a lot of fucking hits lately. Some people goof on me and I some people call me, you know, whatever. Cocaine Bear is coming the fuck out and it's all over the place. So people

hit me up. Listen, here it is plan and simple. If you don't believe me, even Mike will stick up for me. I was the first person to talk about that cocaine bad thing. And I'll tell you the fucking story to it before you get all confused and shit. I lived in Snowmass Village in 84

And When I went to Aspen in 84 My whole mind Like When I went to Colorado I was a fiend already Not an addictive fiend I was just a

Like a little fucking young Coke fiend I was 19 And Scarface hadn't come out yet We didn't even know the basics of cocaine Some people knew it Some people didn't I had grown up with it

It was in my mother's bar I saw it in my house. You know, I just kept my mouth shut about it. But when I went to Aspen, the first thing that happened was I got to, the guy who talked me into going to Aspen was Jimmy Berkel, God bless his soul. But the guy who convinced me was my cousin Tweety. Tweety is a bad motherfucker. He's about 68 now. Lives in Miami.

Tweedy, I just bumped into him one day after I spoke to Jimmy Berk. I'm going, I'm thinking I'm moving to Hasper. He goes, I got a house in Aspen. I go, what? What are you talking about? He goes, I got a house in Aspen. If you come up, come visit me, Maroon Bells, all this shit. And I'm like, what do you?

How does a guy from West New York get a house in fucking Aspen? And he goes, all the people I worked with, I didn't know who we worked with. I, you know, whatever. So he gave me a number. And whatever, I fucking got that Snowmass Village. I lived in Besant first. When I lived in Besant, I did it. a little coke. I have to go to Carbondale to cop it, you know, like just a half gram every other

week, shit like that. When I moved to Snowmast, there was a lot more cocaine around. Now, it's 1983, guys. By this point, when I left Northburg in in 83, in April of 83, cocaine was around. You know, people were doing it. People had it. You could go into the city and get it. When I went to Aspen, when I went to Snowmast Village, Colorado, whatever, when I got there, you know, When I got to Snowman's Village, like I said, I was snorting Coke and stuff, but I saw that the Coke world was a little thicker up there. And for people who don't know this and you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you, and you could Google it. When I got to Colorado in 1983, I never forget one of the first times I went to Aspen and bought cocaine. And somebody said to me, bro, you're at the right place if you like Coke.

And I'm like, I love cocaine. They're like, you're at the right place because Aspen is the cocaine. capital, the United States. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's Miami. They're like, no, it's not. Because Aspen, Gunnison, all those places are the

where they store it to go to Minneapolis, Idaho, it's mid-country. Denver is mid-country pretty much. And it's a port. You could take it to California, you know, Arizona, New Mexico. So that, you know, that was the thinking back

then, I guess. But I mean, I I was in a bar called Patty Bugatti's one time, and some guy was telling me that. You're at the right place, man. You're at the capital of cocaine, Aspen, Colorado, the mother of Pearl. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And I started buying coke and aspirin, and that shit was to a different fucking level.

That shit was glass. You know, the Coke that they were getting up and a hat, there was $100, sometimes $110. They were not fucking around. And tight counts, I mean, you got a tight fucking But cocaine was everywhere. You know, I didn't know any players. I loved to tell you, I knew Pablo.

I didn't know anybody, right? I knew nothing. But I would hear different things. You know, I became a burglar in Colorado in Snowmass Village. So I would hear different things. I always played the guy that didn't do Coke. If I bought Coke from a dealer, it was from my roommate that worked the VPN. He didn't want nobody to know he did Coke.

So he didn't want to buy it. So everybody always knew I was a reefer head and a fucking weightlifter. They had nothing to do with cocaine. They knew I didn't drink. They knew I just smoked pot. So when Coke started missing up in Snowmass Village, nobody looked at me because they were going, he don't do coke.

He's a fucking pot head. But these guys were all part of a network, okay, that I, there was a guy named, I don't know, I don't remember what his name was, sweetheart of a guy, and there was a girl named Keels. That was a piece of ass, beautiful. They got rich right before my eyes in 83. I got there in April.

I moved to Snowmass in June. And by fucking the time I left in January, these guys were driving fucking new cars. It was insane how fast cocaine was moving. But especially up there. The Coke I was getting in Aspen was way better than anything I was getting here at the time. And we're close to Union City. Union City is a Cuban fucking,

Hub, Mario Litos, all that shit. When they came in to the picture, cocaine was everywhere here. But when I went to Aspen, the cocaine was a lot better. When I got back from Aspen to New York, in February of 84, cocaine was fucking everywhere here. But let's get back to the cocaine bear. So my cousin told me he lived in Maroon Bells.

If you Google Maroon Bells, it's fucking beautiful. It's like a mountain. It's fucking gorgeous up there. And he told me that he lived next to Jack Nichols. And I remember taking a bus up there one day and going, I'm just going to knock on his door because I kept calling him and leave a message, call him and leave him messages. And I finally walked up there one day.

It was like a fucking two-mile hike going upward and fucking altitude. It's 90 degrees. And I went to his house, rang the door, but nobody answered. And next doors where Jack Nicholson lived and there was a fence there and shit. But when I walked down from there, I remembered that, God damn, I saw a lot of Mercedes and Porsches and, you know, You know, this is like a snow community. At that time, you saw Subaru's and, like, trucks and shit,

but there was all this, you know, these Porsches and shit. I just started hearing little rumblings and stuff like that. And on December, like, 12th, the anniversary is coming. This dude got maybe a little later, in 83. This dude, Stephen Graybop, got arrested. And it was huge. It was all over the news. Everybody had known about this guy, but those people, I mentioned, Keels and her buddy from Mankato, Minnesota, kind of went underground when this guy got nailed.

Because I remember I was looking for Coke, and people were like, dog, things are bad. The kingpin just got fucking nailed. And the numbers were just, they were unbelievable. He was making $6 million every six weeks. he was bringing in tons from he was a Jewish kid from Miami that moved to Aspen he became a skier not a professional he just skied he never even saw the cocaine

he just called it around like where it was going his cocaine from Miami went straight to Minneapolis and the other half went to Hawaii he was supplying Hawaii with coke right from that fucking spot in Aspen and nobody nobody was fucking with this guy I mean it was just like he would put money in different as the after he got arrested all the stories came out that the guy was

making so much money that he would go to somebody like mike that had a restaurant and go mike i love your food here do you mind if i get a safe and put it in the freezer and pay your lease every month and who would who wouldn't turn my lease is 8 000 you sure you want yeah i'll pay it every month just let me put a safe in your freezer and then he would run tabs at those restaurants so he would come in and go mike his fifty thousand dollars tell me when you need more And you're like, $50,000. You could eat in here for fucking ever. Like, you could eat in here until fucking San Giro Day.

So he was just giving it away. He was putting it in restaurants and businesses to hide it because he was making so much fucking money. When he got arrested, this motherfucker had $900,000 in a garbage can outside with leaves on top of it. He had like $1.6 million cash in his house. And when they took them back to Denver, the DEA and Denver said, no, no, no, no, no, go back there. There's more money. We got him on a wire.

And how they nailed this motherfucker was through his garbage. They would pick up his garbage and look at his measurements and all that shit. They didn't find no cocaine. They didn't find a scale, nothing. They couldn't tie him to cocaine. You're like, Joey, how does this tie into a fucking bear? It's coming, cuck, cuck, suckers. So now I saw the fucking, like I'm hearing all these,

numbers. And then in the middle of that, a heroin kingpin died in Aspen. He was a kingpin in Chicago. This is all like within a week or two. And one day people are like, don't go on 82. That's the main road from Aspen to Glenwood Springs. They go, don't go on there because there's a fucking funeral. Some guys in the funeral getting seen through from Aspen to old snowmast. I swear to God, guys, I did not see this. They had the guy, it was a black dude that was filthy fucking rich. They had them up in the car with a hundred dollar bills in his hands in the fucking casket and shit. This is crazy. So I'm saying what the fuck goes on up in fucking Aspen?

And then to top it off, an old snowmass, right at the same time, some guy, there was a huge story in the paper. The feds tap some guy. Now wait a, you're like Joey. This is Aspen. There's a small place. A DEA bust, a drugged, a heroin kingpin from Chicago. And now this story, the fucking feds will watch. this guy, this Coke dealer, an old snowmast, and they wired, you know, like they went to the

fucking fuse box or whatever the fuck it is, and they wired him. The only problem was the feds fucked up with the wiring. So every time people would turn their TV on, he was coming on the TV. Guys, you can't write this shit. You cannot write this shit. He would come on the TV. So his own neighbors were calling them up going, Mike, I could see you taking a shower. Mike, you. You can't You're over there eating breakfast. Mike, you're eating dinner. So he turned around and sued the feds for like millions of dollars because they were programming what was going on in his house

to all the other homes in the fucking area. This is crazy shit. And in the middle of all this, one day there's an article in the paper in the Aspen Times. And it was like in the third page, I thought I was fucking hallucinate. All right. I thought I was fucking hallucinate. There's this huge story about that they found these bears. Or they found one, let me not get this,

I don't want people coming back on me going, Joe, it was one bear. Okay, they found a bear dead next to a duffel bag next to cocaine. This was an Aspen or a couple miles away from Aspen. Guys, the story for cocaine bear happened in Atlanta, Georgia, in the mountains of Georgia, I think. Yeah, it's nothing to do with my stuff. story. But I still remember reading that and then

weeks later they had found three or four more bears. And with that now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If life came with a user manual things would be easy for everybody

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Fucking tremendous, okay? And I'll tell you why in a second. Anyway, dead as disco is fucking these bears. And they had a big write-up about them. You know, I never fucking saw any of these bears. I never hung out with these bears. I didn't know the people who, you know, were drug. You know, I love to tell you.

I knew the guys. I was in the bottom with flashlights, you know, with fucking flags. to dump the coke it wasn't me at all but that's guys when i tell people like i did a podcast to join about two years ago and i talked about the people that were around me in aspen guys it was fucking weird and then i left i was homeless i became an addict the whole thing and i went back there i ended up going back there like in uh october of 85 and guys when i went back to Colorado. That was just a cocaine factory. When I went back to fucking Snowmass Village in October of 85, I wasn't doing coke. I didn't snap till I stayed in Aspen two months before I broke.

I made it to a year. I think I got high New Year's Eve, 85, and then I started getting high mildly. But through the ranks, guys, there was some wild shit going on up there. shit that I think about now and I'm like what the fuck you know I was just a plan I didn't have any money I worked on a video store you know I shovel some snow I made ends meet I did little hustles

I helped people up with a pound of weed stupid shit like that but I was going day to day pretty much so I wasn't even buying that type of coke but I was hearing this shit that was in the and then after June when I was there June at 86 I said fuck it my friend Danny who I

I owe him a call. I haven't spoken to this guy in months. He called me and he says, I got some great Coke. I want you to try. And he came out from Jersey and I tried it. It was fantastic. And it was $1,000 cheaper than what they were asking for in Aspen. So I knew, even if I cut the price by 500, I was still making money hand over fist.

I would be an idiot not to get involved in it. But once I got involved with that cocaine batch and I started running in those numbers and selling guns, guys, I was here. hearing some wild shit. The thing that I still cannot ever get out of my mind, like I think all my stupid stories and all the crazy shit I did.

You know, I was going back east like every other Wednesday, every Wednesday, and picking up a quarter of a kilo, and I was bringing back guns. And I would do this from fucking, maybe September, and I did it until maybe December.

Maybe August. August, yeah, a little like that because it was a summer. I started early and I made some good money. When I started making money and I started selling some coke, people started coming out of the fucking woodwork at me. And that's when I started keeping the guns. And yeah, some of it was the paranoia from the cocaine.

I get that. But man, people started coming at me from all directions to take, for me to stop getting the Coke from New York and for me to buy the Coke from them. Now here I am just to find. I was a fucking ounce dealer. You know, I love, again, I love to tell you. I had bitches and helicopters,

and I was just an ounce dealer. And I, if I cut it with like seven grams, it gave me 35, I sold 30 grams, I made some money, and I fucking, snorted five fucking grams of coke. I wasn't doing nothing out of this world. But the people that were approaching me were starting to get me,

guys, and you know, I'm not a scary cat. I was like, these fucking people are not, you know, every time I'd meet with, somebody who wanted to sell me coke, I would notice a gun. And I'd go, what the fuck? You know, and North Bergen and shit for years, you know, I hung out with savages, but nobody really had a fucking gun on them. You know, every time I go to hug these guys or to shake their hand,

there was always a gun or a knife, these guys were ready for fucking war. But the time that blew me away was that dude, Keels his friend, came up to him, and then he goes, hey, man, there's more to this story. when I came back to L.A., to Colorado in 85, you know, I was a dormant. I was security in a hotel and I was a bellman, you know, like a bellman, I was security. And I had to make runs to the airport at night.

So Dan Grabo got arrested in 83, December of 83 in that cocaine thing. When I got back to Aspen, I didn't, you know, what do you think I was thinking about Graybow? What happened to him? I didn't know the guy. But when I got back, I heard that he was going to go on trial. It was all over the papers, that there was no cocaine involved, that he was a kingpin, but he was going to go on trial for money laundering. That's all they pinched him on, was the money laundering.

Okay. You know, they're talking about Graybo. Again, it's not like I'm hanging out in Aspen jumping up and down. I'm a poor fucking house dealer in Snowman's village. I wasn't going to those clubs up there. I knew about the Paragon and shit like that, but that wasn't my cup of tea. And one fucking December,

like right around the fucking holidays one night, you heard a bunch of ambulances. And cops were coming. You know, you could hear him on 82. And the next day, it was in the paper. They fucking put a car bomb in Grable's fucking car and blew him the fuck up 24 days before his trial in Denver. You could be.

read this. This is common knowledge. Dan Grabo, G-R-A-B-O-W. Dan Grabo was at the Aspen Club lifting weights like he did four or five nights a week. The Aspen Club is like, they charge you 20 bucks just to walk in another hundred for a towel, one of those fucking places.

Every night when he left to work out, then he would get dressed and go out at night, but he would work out late and he would give the valet $20 to start his car up. 20 bucks to start car up that night the valet wasn't there so he went out to start his fucking car he had a regular jeep they put a pipe bomb under his fucking seat and bab boom the pipe bomb went right in his ass but it was

it was like the the de nero movie fucking uh casino the jeep the year he had the jeep had an extra metal plate underneath it so it didn't really blow him up it blew him up he lit on fire and he really bled out he was alive after the car bomb he made it to the hospital and he died at the hospital that didn't affect me I didn't know the guy but what I didn't know it it affected all the cocaine dealers around the area so now everybody moved up a notch everybody was moving up a notch everybody was scrambling to get coke I guess Kelly and this guy were getting coke from this guy so after he died like the smoke cleared and that it was

that summer when I started dealing Coke. So, again, I didn't go to his wake. I wasn't involved one of those people. What had happened was I called Kelly one day, and she was like, listen, man, I know you're paying a thousand dollars. I think at that time I was paying, I don't know, $9,800 for 13 ounces or something like that.

And she goes, I'll tell you what, if I can make you the same deal, would you stop going to New York and buying our Coke? and now I'm like in demand like I'm like oh shit I'm living Miami Vice you know what I'm saying people are calling me like I'm like alright

I can live with this shit and I fucking take the meeting guys again I've been in some scary situations weapons the guys call me and they go you know go to a fucking

pay phone and call her so I went to the snow mask center there And I called them and they, we'll call you back. It was like real fucking hush, hush, like, you know. And they will call you back in like five minutes. No names on the phone, all that bullshit. And I'm like, okay. And they're like, listen, we'd like to meet with you.

Give us an address and we'll pick you up. I'm like, okay. And they fucking met me like a day later or some shit. And I got in the car. And the guys were cool. How are you doing nice to meet you? Yeah, blah, blah. I had a gun on me.

You know, I didn't know. I'm not. So right away, guys, I had a gun on me. That's never fucking good. You know, that just shows you the people I was running with. And we drove to Woody Creek somewhere, and then they go, listen, can you do us a favor? And put a fucking blindfold on.

And I'm like, are you fucking guys crazy? I put the blindfold on against my best wishes. I get to the fucking place. They search me. They take my gun. They're very nice. walk this way, follow us. And when I get in, they go,

we got to ask you another favor. Do you mind putting a bag over your head? And I'm like, what the fuck? You know, I already got the things on my eyes. I can't see nothing. They're like, this guy, these guys that talk to you, want to be very secretive.

And I'm like, oh, here we go. Back to fucking everybody's Miami Vice, weighing the Coke and putting it in a thing and shaking it, give them the money. I don't like none of that shit. So they were like, Joey, you know, we've heard great things about you. We know you're loyal, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You got bought all this shit. And they're like, we want you to do business with us. You know, fucking. And then they just started spilling their fucking guts, you know, talking about they get a shipment every two weeks. And it comes right to them. I wouldn't have to go anywhere. And then they go, if you're interested,

we'll let you fucking know what to do, the guys that drove you here. I said, I'm interested. How much can you pick up every two weeks? I told them. And they go, okay, we're in business. We'll give you a call. we're ready. Go home now.

Thank you for coming. I go, okay. And I'm like, what the fuck? I take the bandage off. They put blindfolds back on me. And now we drive like 10 minutes and they go take it off. And the guys are like, listen, when you hear this story, this is when you got to say to yourself. Because I told this story on the church and shit, you got to ask yourself what the fuck was going on.

On the way home, these motherfuckers say to me, listen, we don't give you the Coke hand to hand. Never. You'll never see us again. What you need to do is join the Snow Mask Club, which was cousins with the Aspen Club where they blew up Greybow. I smell conspiracy. Do you smell conspiracy here? So the Aspen Club, Snow Mask Club. You're going to go to the Snow Mask Club and join.

And when you go there on certain days, we'll tell you what day to go there, you give the front countergirl money, and you go. work out like you you do all the time but on the way out to cocoa be in your locker this is like fucking mind boggling like this is like I'm like am I living a fucking movie am I living an episode of Miami Vice so I tried to fucking go down there and they're like oh how long do you want to join for and I'm like you know eternity I'm like I'm confused I don't

know nothing and right and they're like with the best package is to sign up for the first year. And I'm like, oh, great, give me the paperwork. I'll sign up. And Doug, they were like, do you want the executive package or something? I don't even know what to say. And they're like, it's like $1,500 a year to join. And they need like $800.

And I'm like, what? Like, it was, I don't even know for $1,500. It was a number that was, no, because you went down there. It was a gym, but you could play golf, and you could steam bath, and you could smoke cigars with guys, and you could fucking, you know, You could just do all this stupid shit. Like, it's a whole day. I was going to go down there, live from weights,

maybe fucking swim a little bit and get the fuck out of there, pick up my Coke. But when they told me that, like, they're like, no, you got to go to the gym, give the girl the money, and then go to your locker, work out, and pick it. You cannot fucking just get the Coke and leave.

You got to go through the whole rigmarole, the whole fucking thing. So they're like, okay, so I went down to the joint. I couldn't afford to join. I didn't want to fucking join this gym. and they're like, okay, if you don't want to join the gym, you have to become a volunteer. So I became a volunteer fireman.

That's the reason I became a volunteer fireman was to get the free subscription so I could go in there and buy my fucking cocaine. Listen, guys, I lasted as a volunteer fireman for maybe a month and a half for two fucking months. I was never a volunteer fireman. I took the training, and I showed up to like two fires, and I'm like, come on.

I'm going to sit around with eight fat guys putting out a dumpster fire. Give me a break. I'm going to get my dick sucked. I'm snorting coke. Don't fucking bother me with these dumps the fires at three in the morning. So I fucking, you know, once it all ended, I got my car November of 86 and I left. I don't know what happened to the Aspen Club.

I don't know whatever happened to these people. I don't know if they lived or died. It makes no difference to me. But it's just to show you, I tell you these things, just to show you the fucking, And I was just involved with like little guys. I can't even imagine what the fuck was going up there. But it was everywhere. When I tell you, it was every,

and I think everybody was in on it. Because there was a fucking thing that if the cops, the feds, when they came to town, they stood at the red roof in. There was no fucking Uber. What was that shit now? Where you rent the house with your buddies and nobody knows you there, whatever the fuck that's called.

You know, Airbnb, there wasn't none of that. So guys, that was the main thing. They'd say, when the feds come to town, they stay at the red roof in and you're not allowed to sell coke or anything. They were all tied in. This was the biggest conspiracy. And I didn't even touch, I'm just telling you guys, like the different sizes of this shit, the Aspen Club was fucking in bed with the Snowmass Club.

And probably the same owners, I don't know, go on their website. They're still open. Both those clubs are still alive and kicking. Fucking the Aspen Club, Barbie Benton, used to be there. She's a playboy chick from the 80s. I don't forget I used to date a girl. She came home when she took a shower with Barbie Benton. He took a shower with Barbie Benton.

She goes, you know, after fucking working out, there's a general area. I go, how did her bush look? She goes, beautiful. I'm like, holy fuck. Fuck, man. So, yeah, I don't know much about the cocaine bear. I don't know what's going on with it. I didn't write the fucking thing.

I'm just telling you that when I lived in Snowman's Village, There was a bear that died from cocaine. No, if you could look it up on the Aspen Times. I think the Aspen Times only goes back 30 fucking years. So maybe you could fly, I don't know, because I tried to get an article from December 24th, 1983. 1983. I tried to get an article from there years ago.

My buddy wrote for them when he was a young guy, like before he became a writer. he had an apprenticeship over there so I asked him Mike Robuck if he'd get me the article and he called and he goes they don't go back that far I would love to get my hands on the cocaine article

the night when I robbed them all on Christmas Eve and Walt gets burger on Christmas Eve that's why I want it. I wanted that article yeah I wanted that article for the book or whatever the fuck's going on the book's going great

all hands on deck I got to change a few names all that shit which I fucking knew, you know. And the last thing I want to talk about on a beautiful Monday morning or something I was going through last week, you have realizations in your life, you know?

When I did Beauty and the Beast with Felicia, you know, for years, when you listen to different podcasts, comics, a lot of comics will go, you know what, Joey Diaz always checks it, you know. Whether it's a text or a call, I was raised on checking it, you know, and following up, you know.

I try to do in a friendship, but most people don't do. That's what you need to do. And that's what you need to do in all your adventures, you know. When my parents died, my friends taught me the greatest gift that you could teach somebody, which is the gift of friendship. There's no bigger gift than friendship. You know, your family, you're stuck with them. You know, you can't pick your fucking family.

When you look at your mother and she's 100 pounds overweight, and she's got that wart coming out of her face with the hair growing out of it, and you're like, how the fuck is this will be? the beast my mother. You can't, you know what I'm saying? Like you can't, you can't, you can't, you know. But when I learned the value of a friend, you know, when I, when my parents died and what those people did for me, I really learned the value of a friend, so I respected friendship.

I really did. I respected it more than most guys, you know, and I made a lot of mistakes growing up. But when I realized I was alone in this world, I realized that friends are all you got. You know, once your mom. and your dad leaves and your brother gets married to a lesbian chick and your sister gets married to an organ grinder in Seattle and you live in fucking New Jersey, you're not going to see them, you know? So once your parents are gone, you realize that you're alone in this fucking world.

And that's a horrible feeling. You only feel it for like two minutes and you're all, I'm alone, you know, I'm alone in this world. I got no biblical cord, whatever the fuck they talk about. So you look at your friends a lot different, you know, you look at your friends, you know, you look at your brother, your brother's great. He's your brother. He's your blood, but they got their own life. And they all got a fucking nasty fat wife with a mow on their face. And you go to yourself, why do he marry that fucking chick with the mother? But it doesn't matter. You just lose. So what you really have in your life are your friends. When I left North Bergen in 1985,

I had a handful of fucking friends, friends that I could breathe for and friends that would breathe to me. They had done it already. I learned a tremendous gift. friendship growing up and I respected friendship as much as I could. I'll never forget when I did that Beauty and the Beast with Felicia, we had gotten into a conversation about people in LA and friends and how you have to treat people. It seems like you do really well with that. I go, because I don't have a family. So I have to focus.

Now you have acquaintances, you have friends, and then you have that little inner circle, which is your family, without being your family. You know, you tell your kids, they're your uncle. You know, whatever. They're your fucking family. They're how you breed for. So my biggest accomplishment as a man was keeping in touch with the people who did me right as I was growing up.

That was my main focus all those years when I was in L.A., and that's what kept me grounded. The reason why I don't drive a Beamer and I don't say amazing and I don't tell you that everything is wonderful is because I stayed grounded. I kept on the phone with my friends, and by listening to what they were talking about, it made everything all right. In my world, me living in Los Angeles was like having a bad job. You're doing it until you get to your goal,

and then you don't have to deal with these fucking people no more. I didn't know I was involved with these type of people. I just picked my friends over them, and I kept in touch with them, and whenever I came home, we always try to do a dinner or go out, and I was telling Mike, I took pride in that.

And when I would come home, there'd be like six of us at dinner. And I'd always go, hey, man, because they'd say, yeah, I haven't seen you. And I go, I live in California. Did you just say that you haven't seen him since the last time I came here? And we did dinner like, yeah, but they live like fucking 10 miles apart. And I'm like, how does this happen? I would give a fucking finger in L.A. to be able to see you guys once a week, you know?

I would give a fucking finger. I'm stuck with all these fucking fake people around me. So, you know, every year I come here and it'd be the same thing. And I go, someday I'm going to move back. And I'm going to change all this shit. You motherfuckers are going to see each other every weekend. We're going to smoke pot. We're going to do this.

Well, I moved back. And COVID was here at first, you know. And when you call people, they were concerned about their parents. You know, it was the beginning of COVID when I moved here. So it didn't loosen up until after. I was here maybe six months, and then I got the knee surgery. I was stuck in the house for three or four months. And at that time, I was talking to my friends and stuff like that.

And after the knee surgery healed and, you know, things slowed down a little bit. I started doing dinners with, you know, James and my other buddies from North Bergen. We started doing little fucking dinners and stuff like that. But they were always few and far, like they were always a month away. Like it was a month, and then we wouldn't talk for another month, and then we'd do it again. And then I hooked up with my eight-grade friends, and that's been fantastic. Louis Hernandez, Dave, Whitey, that's been fucking great. But everybody's got, you know, Whitey's mom passed.

Everybody's got their issues. So we get along, we try to get together as much as possible, guys, but it's not, it's just not fucking feasible. You know, and I was the, how wrong was I? Because I was the first guy that was saying, when I come back, I'm going to do all this shit. When I come back, I don't have two hours. I don't have an hour to drive up somewhere, sit for an hour and a half, and then come back. I wish I had that. Like the other day I was going to go up to North Bergen just to go to Rudy's and eat.

I don't have that anymore. I don't go up to North Bergen like I used to. But my point is that since I've been back here, I've lost a lot of contact with my friends. There was a couple of friends that listened. 40 years passed, and we changed a ton in 40 years. and I came back and we just realized that we weren't the same people. And that's okay. I could live with that.

When I moved here, the people I thought I was going to see all the time, completely different than what happened. The friends that I still have from North Bergen today are friends that we built our relationship after I moved here. And it wasn't about me being in a movie. It wasn't about me being stand-up. It was that I knew them early on and they wanted to come back in my life. and I wanted to be in their life.

So last week, I just had a rough week friendship-wise. You know, like just coming to the conclusion that what that was was, that was a long fucking time ago. That was 40 fucking years ago, Joey. What do you expect? Do you expect these for us just to jump back in the saddle? Yeah, it might happen once or twice a year, and you have to cherish it.

But it was just disappointing to me. It just took a lot of wind out of my sales that it was a realization. that you try really hard to keep your friends over the years and shit like that, but life takes over, and that's okay. That's okay. It's not like we had an argument or we disagreed on something. We talk, we share our sentiments and we move on and we try to put dates together, but guys, it just, you know, with families and kids and holloways and holidays and jobs

and shit like that, it just doesn't work out. So I just had to come to terms that I was a little down. for a few days about it. But then I went to the fucking festival. I got my little fucking blue belt. And here we are on a Monday morning. Ready to sling dick. We got what?

We got 20 fucking shoplifting days left. That's it. Christmas is right around the fucking corner. So that's what's going on right now. I've been having a great time. Thank you for all you guys that are helping me out with Stoner Club. They're doing fucking great. Thank you.

They got great fucking refa. I just got a delivery from them the other day. Dog, they gave me some, I don't know what the fuck it was, something in a bag on the top, over the top. Holy shit, it was over the fucking top. I'm trying to get them some laughing gas. People are really fucking digging the laughing gas, so I'm happy.

But remember, Stoner's Club, they have, just go to the website. Just go to the website. I don't remember all the specials they got, but I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you. just pressing Uncle Joey 10 and I'm going to give you 10% off for fucking life

Mike that was a great video last week the way you took it off the shirt great fucking job and that's what's going on we gotta wait a whole fucking month to do a show the 28th and we're working on the book we're healthy

and we're slinging dick guys listen try to be a good friend but always know that after a while there's nothing you can do we fucking change we really do change and we change our perspectives and what we walk

and what we listen to. That's life, guys. We keep fucking evolving. I love you, motherfuckers, with all my heart. Have a great week. And now for a word from our motherfucking sponsor, Jack. All right, you bad motherfuckers, thank you for taking my ear beating today.

I had a good time. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, if life came with a user manual, it would be a lot easy for everybody, but it doesn't. So when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck navigating the career change you're moving kids listen it makes you feel uncertain i get you therapists are trained to help you learn productive coping skills which makes therapy the closest thing you'll get to a user manual listen i was stuck when i moved here

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We got Monday night football tonight. So download the Draft King Sportsbook app, enter Code Joey, and let's get this party started. I want to thank Draft Kings. I want to thank BetterHelp.com, but most importantly, I want to thank you guys. I'll see you Wednesday, Thursday morning, tip-top, motherfucking McGoo. Love you.