The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #230 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT.....   It's Monday, February 13, 2023…   This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com   Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH    This episode is also brought to you by BlueChew, Manscaped & Better Help…    BLUECHEW Visit https://bluechew.com and use code JOEY to try it free! Just pay $5 shipping   MANSCAPED Visit http://www.manscaped.com and use code JOEY for 20% off + free shipping on your first order.   BETTER HELP Support the show and get 10% off your first month of online therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/DIAZ    Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media:   https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world   And don't forget.....   The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON:   https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz   #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #displate #manscaped #bluechew #CBDLion #HeartAndSoil #DraftKings #BetterHelp #stamps #RocketMoney   The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media:   https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast   Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....   https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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Let's get this party started, Jack. It's Monday morning. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday. The 13th of fucking February. It's Valentine's week. So go out today, make sure you buy Mama Roses, whatever the fuck you do. Chocolate, whatever they go for.

And just take it to some nice place. It's also my birthday week. Happy birthday. Fucking Sunday. I'll turn 60, so the celebration is starting today. That's how I'm doing. I'm not doing dick all week. I did a bunch of shit last week

Grove all over the fucking world This week I'm just relaxing I'm turning 60 in style You understand me If I can make it till 60 I'm good I might not be around next Monday But I just got to push the envelope To fucking Sunday cock suckers

I gotta push it Jack But anyways it was a great weekend Thank God the soup bowl's over With the fucking rhetoric and the bullshit You know on Saturdays they're like hey Tomorrow's the Super Bowl That's great I know this shit You haven't stopped

talking about it for the last fucking two weeks. What are you thinking? In some part of my mind I fucking forgot. But it was a great game. I'm happy you enjoyed it. You got a fucking nice time with your family and friends. I did a couple things. I went by Florentines.

I stopped by the Osteria. I went all by my buddies around the corner. It is what it is, the 57th Super Bowl. Anyway, this week some shit happened that we're going to talk about. Again, we're going right back to music in life because this is the shit that makes my fucking dick hard. Let's start the fucking podcast off this week with the Grammys last week. The talk of the town was Madonna.

Everybody saw that picture of her, and it's fucking sad, you know. Listen, guys, there's a bar around here. There's a couple bars around here on Thursday nights that are hopping. One of them is the Osteria, which I love the food, and cousins, which I love the food. And Osteria, I go to at night because I can sit at the bar and I go with Vic and we bullshit. Cousins, I usually go on the daytime. I get my salmon with the fucking spinach and I'm good to go to lunch special. At night, those two restaurants become something else.

And it's great. It's fucking awesome. The first time I witnessed it was at Osteria. And on like Thursday nights, it's like over 50 night. And a bunch of women go down there and they get dolled up. They bust out the leopard pants, the whole fucking deal, and they go down there. Listen, man, they're not, none of them are fucking, you know, going to fucking break beauty records. But they're beautiful in their own little fucking way, man.

You know, I'm a 60-year-old guy. So when I look at a 52-year-old, I'm like, fuck, she looks fucking good. But even when I was 20, I still remember looking at women and going, wow, she looks really fucking good. But I'm going to be completely honest The first time I went to Osteriana Thursday Like I think I won my buddies And I saw all these women there I'm like

Look at these women on the fucking hunt And what do they think And I was doing what everybody else does You know But I didn't look at the big fucking picture I didn't look at that Yeah, they're fucking 55 God bless them

They're still shaving their pussies They're still fucking doing manicures And they're going out to tear some fucking guy up That's what it's all about At the end of the fucking week Is your freedom That's what we all talk about about all the time, you know, who the fucking

am I to look at her and go, you know what, look at it, she's a little out of place, whatever. There's guys that are the fucking 10 years older than me with false teeth on steroids that go to those places and they're trying to pick up 20 year old chicks. Is it for me? Not really, but it works for them. Again, God fucking bless them. Last week, one of my friends, Athena asked me, she goes, do you ever go out at night,

like the bars and stuff like that? I go, listen, when I was 22 and I'd be at a bar, with my fucking friends. And I had girls there that we grew up with, we went to high school with. But when I'd be, we weren't dating them or nothing. They were just there with us,

trying to have a good time. But when I was there with them and a 28 year old guy would come in, I'd go look at fucking grandpa hitting on young girls. You follow me? So who the fucking mind to be this age? Even the last 20 years,

I'd stop going out. Remember the last six years from 40 on, 38, 9 on? I was doing coke. I don't want to be in no fucking bar. with a bunch of people I can't fucking hear and shit. So I did coke at home or I did coke in my car. I didn't mingled.

Do you guys think I was out mingling at fucking clubs in L.A.? You've never heard that about me. And once I got off the drugs, forget about it. Fucking forget about it. I have no reason to be out talking to fucking young people or trying to be Johnny Gumbah. Hey, how are you doing buying a drink? That's never been who the fuck I am.

So even not, like I told her. She's like, I understand that. It's the truth. I could not. Listen, man, when I used to do comedy all the time, you guys came to shows. You never saw me at the local bar. I love you guys to death,

but I'm not going to a bar to hang out. But Christa loves to do it, and I give them credit for being able to do it. I can't do it, guys. I just, it's over. So it's really hard for me. Like, I'm ashamed. You know, people give me shit all the time,

or you don't smoke on the podcast no more. Why? Because one day I looked at one of those videos and go, Hey, look at all the fucking white hair you got. You should be ashamed of yourself, Joey, on fucking YouTube smoking dope, acting like a 20 fucking 4 year old. And when you look at that, can you imagine if I would still be here smoking pot every fucking day in front of you guys? You like, Joey, we get it. You smoke dope.

Great for you. You ever go on Instagram now? There's people that have been smoking dope for 20 years and they're still smoking dope on Instagram. And after a while, you're like, good for you. I mean, you're still with this fucking thing. You haven't come up with a new fucking idea in 20 years. You're still thinking because you smoke in camera, people are going to like you more. It's fun while you're doing it.

But one day you take a look. You know, people come up with me all the time. Why are you not on TikTok? Look at my fucking face. Do I belong on fucking TikTok? There's little kids that put me on TikTok. And I love you for it. I'm not suing them trying to get that money.

I don't give a fuck. I'm not going to go. on TikTok for a specific reason. After a while, you're going to go, Joey, you know what I'm saying? You overstepped your fucking boundaries. Why do you think I'm so embarrassed sometimes about doing stand-up today with the same stupid material and the same mentality? Because it doesn't look good when you're 55 and you're going up there talking about

eating girls assholes. So I got to go up there and talk about sandals or whatever fuck it is that I do with my life at this fucking age. So when you see something like Madonna, dog, I told you motherfuckers that this pandemic did a lot of damage to people. And you're starting to see the residual damage now and you're going to hear it in the next two fucking things I've got to talk to you about. For years Madonna's been going off. But this latest thing, she's 64 years old. I feel for her.

Listen, I love it if she wants to dance around, whatever. but putting your pussy on an NFT at 63 or whatever the fuck she did. I don't want to see your pussy when you were 28 Madonna. It looked like a bomb hit it already. Can you imagine a 63? I mean, and I have nothing against Madonna. Dog, I've been a fan of Madonna since 1980 fucking three, Jack. First time I heard physical attraction in a bar or something like that,

I went off. And then I moved to Boulder and I went to some record stop one day and as much as I was into heavy metal and Aerosmith and Black Sabbath, I bought that fucking Madonna first album. I don't give a fuck what you motherfucker's thinking of me. That album is fucking tremendous. Lucky star fucking, uh,

the best song on the album is burning up, which nobody ever listened to. That's the best fucking Madonna talking about Cox and shit. And like a virgin? Come on, dog. I won a fucking karaoke contest in 1985 at a bar in San Francisco because I went up there and did it like a virgin.

cock suckers, okay? And I won first prize. They gave me 50 bucks and fucking, uh, 50 bucks and a fucking movie or some shit. Like Madonna album. No, I didn't do the cones. That was Vogue. And guess what, motherfuckers? Guess what, bitches? In 1991,

when I was an open micah, I went up on stage with the cones. I will make that fucking admission to you. I've never, I think I told Lee on a podcast on the old one. I went up there with those Madonna cones and I bombed. You know, and I even put Vogue on and did the fucking thing with the cones on.

Dog, when you're in open mic, you go into dark places, you know what I'm saying? To get a fucking laugh. I didn't know. I like Madonna. I fucking love into the groove. I was there for fucking desperately seeking Susan. When I left in July of 85, Madonna owned New York City.

It was Madonna and Michael Jackson. Every fucking 15-year-old girl looked like fucking Madonna. Okay? I love Madonna. So for me to be taught, I'm not out of place here. I'm just telling you, motherfuckers, that we can't be rough on her. We cannot be rough on poor Madonna. I'll tell you why, because she's fucking lost it.

And nothing was more evident than that. Listen, guys, there's nothing to me. And forgive me for these fucking comments. There's nothing more offensive to me than an old person trying to act young. Listen, you have to stay young mentally to keep pushing. That's why I go to Jiu-Jitsu, because I stick around a younger mentality, and I learn from them and what's going on in the world.

But for me, to parade myself around with a pair of fucking jeans and Jordan sneakers and walk into a place with the sneakers untied and with a shirt, after a while you'll go, Joey. It's time for you to leave. I never want to be asked to leave. guys, that's embarrassing. I have a choice, and I made a choice growing up that I don't ever want

somebody to tell me when it's time to go. Ever. That's the hardest thing in the world when I have to go. Mike, time to go. What the fuck? Come up. Take a fucking hike. You know, I don't want people to tell me that. I don't want people to say that to me. Why do they do a podcast once a week?

Guys, for a long time, I was fucking struggling with this podcast. I really was. lost. I told Mike, I was thinking of fucking cancel it last year, like ending it in December because I wasn't getting through to you guys anymore. I wasn't going anywhere. I had to revamp my thinking, take the podcast to one day a week for motivation. This is what I fucking got. Can you imagine if I came on here every fucking fucking day to bust your people's walls about the same shit after a while? I'm telling you guys. That's why I did what I did when I left

California. I restructured everything. It's not because I didn't want to fucking do it or whatever. because I started looking at myself and going, Joey, you're getting caught up and shit. That you could have got caught up when you were 40. At this age now with a child and whatever, I don't want my daughter to open a fucking Facebook, oh, whatever, and I'm smoking a fucking joint there. I smoke pot all fucking day.

I don't need to do it on a fucking video to let you guys think I'm something I'm nut. For months, I've been thinking of buying a fucking car. Like something that I saved up money to buy a fucking nice car for myself. I got this Subaru. I can't justify the buy, guys. I can't justify the buy.

Whatever the fuck I buy, I want a Mustang. I don't even think I'll fit in a fucking Mustang. I think it's too low to the fucking ground, you know? I just don't want to be one of those people that's imposing. I told my wife all the time. I can be the neighbor across the streets like, you're a horrible celebrity.

I'm like, first off, I'm not a fucking celebrity. But she wants me to be out at night and, like, fucking, guys, I hate that. that shit. You know, it's like I'm going to do with a Mustang. What am I going to do with a fucking BMW? What am I going to do?

Who am I supposed to be? What am I going to do? Pull up at the restaurant and throw my keys at the valet like something I'm not with an eyeside shirt on? That's, guys, it doesn't work for me. That's why just living in that environment used to fucking drive me crazy. It drove me crazy. But Madonna just, I mean, the sad thing about it,

I don't know if a lot of people read this, daughter refused to walk the red carpet with her. Why? Because I'm walking down with the guy from mask. She looks like the guy from fucking mask with a Harry Potter suit on. Why? What the fuck? And listen, I'm, listen,

when me and my wife kiss, sometimes me and my wife kiss, my daughter fucking tackles us. She's like, stop it. When me and my wife dance sometimes, my daughter will turn around and run. Stop it. In public? Oh, she don't fucking like that. Don't

fucking do that in public because she's embarrassed. Could you, you know, could you imagine fucking showing up with, like, plastic surgery? I've never understood it, guys. A wig. I've never understood it. You're trying to fool me with steroids thinking, yeah, I can't do it no more. I see right through it. You lose me.

You know, I can see a football player that's getting 30 million a year for tackling fucking guerrillas shooting himself up with steroids, but I can't. see a fucking actor shooting himself up with steroids and we buy into it. We buy into it. And then you see a guy like John Wick that's got no muscles and he's beating up 20,000 people and shooting people in the head from an arm bar position. Do you follow me for people? When I see somebody with a wig on, I go, you know, I don't know.

He's trying to fucking bullshit me. He's trying to fucking bullshit me. When I see somebody, when you see somebody at plastic surgery, it looks so fucking bad now. And in LA, you look at it and you're like, hmm, you got to be part of that cult. It's like a little cult. Have you noticed that all of them do plastic surgery? All of them look like shit. All of them know they're going to look like shit.

And they fucking do it. And then they come back on TV with one eye bigger than the other. Two big eyes. I mean, we know what you're doing. Stop it. We'd rather you show up with what the fuck you look like. Just show up. And that's what you are.

But, you know, Madonna, I love it at that, but don't just give her a break. She's trying to readjust. When she did that fucking podcast three weeks ago, she did a podcast with Amy Schumer and a bunch of Hollywood comedians. And she asked Amy Schumer in a video to show her how she licks her husband's asshole. You're 64 years old Madonna. There's a, you have so much fucking money from copyrights and music and fucking whatever. You have so much fucking money. Just go away into the fucking, you know, go away for a while.

But it's like they want to linger. I don't, guys, like I said, I feel insecure now with this ugly fucking face and gray hair going up on stage and doing stupid fucking jokes. I really fucking do. I can't imagine that. can't imagine if I was still holding on you know I see kids from my high school still they graduated 50 fucking years ago with a state champion

jacket on you know that's what they're holding on to can you imagine if I came on here every fucking day and talked about the longest yard that was shot in 2004 or walked around with my fucking longest yard jacket on I put I did a fucking shirt thing

for draft kings I don't know if we ever had it right the resent it but they like we'll do another one whatever some other time but Can you imagine if all, you ever see the movie something about Polly? Then a long, no, no, no. Along came Polly. Have you seen that movie?

That's a great movie. It's entertaining. And in that movie, the junkie, the dude who died from heroin, the baseball coach and moneyball and all that, he plays like one of the actors in the play that they're doing. Great actor, but it's a funny story about a guy that did one thing in Hollywood and wore it like a badge for 20 years. And he would walk into a room 30 years later.

when people didn't remember it. And he would go like, oh, you know, like throw a scarf and they're like, what's up with this guy? He did Jesus Christ Superstar. And he wanted to play Jesus and somebody else. What's the guy's name? The actor's name. He played the manager Moneyball.

He played the fucking writer in the movie about music. He played the writer that kept calling that kid in that fucking movie that he follows the band on a bus. He died a heroin in New York City a couple years ago. Fucking great actor. but that dude that's the character he plays in there he did a movie 80 years ago

and he's still walking around like didn't you see that movie dog that was 20 fucking years ago I don't know what the fuck you're talking about you gotta fix your clock so it's the same it's the same principle guys

and this is why I had a great fucking run I had a great time doing it you know yeah but Joey Burns did comedy till he was 80 yeah I know 99 fucking I would love

to do a a red fox album you know I would love to do like a not a red fox album but I might fucking Roger Waters I would love to do a like a dirty album like Red Fox did wash your ass

like that album by Red Fox is a great album wash your ass but if you listen to it you're like he's a 66 seven year old guy doing that fucking material in a bar like in a jazz bar things have changed things have changed you know you could but still if you know

the reasons if you study your comics the only reason why fucking red fox was doing it because he he had tax problems he had tax problems so you could feel it's a great album you could feel the material's been a little fucking uh it was pushed it was sort of like uh my second out my third album fucking, we can't eat pushy with asthma, whatever the fuck it was. It was too forced, you know. But I don't want to do that, guys. That's not what I want to do is be on Instagram, jumping up and down, trying to get you the shows. I just didn't want to do it anymore.

It just, it didn't look good. It got old for me and for you fucking people. And I just wanted to come up with something completely fucking different in my arsenal. When I took comedy off, when I first moved here, it wasn't that I didn't want to do comedy guys. is I stopped to get my thinking different. I wanted to get away from the sexual talk. I wanted to get away from all that shit to talk about my new life.

All that shit got old for me really quick. That's why I took the window off. But guess what happened? When I got back on stage, I couldn't get away from that material because that's the material people want to hear. They don't really want to hear my daughter's shit. I mean, it's cute, it's funny,

but it's not me. getting down and dirty. Hey guys, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life gets you feeling overwhelmed, working where the therapist can make you prepared to take on life. Listen, man, you know me. I tell you how it is.

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I want to come out with a new. You ever see, there's a couple of comments. mix now that I see that took some time off, particularly one. And he or she came back, you know, maybe six or seven months ago. And I see their tweets. And nothing has changed. Nothing has changed.

They're still talking about the same shit they were talking about three years ago, only in a different version. I got sick and tired of rewriting material and rewriting my thoughts. It started, I needed to come up with new thoughts, new material, new shit. So that's why I am. That's why a couple weeks ago when I was talking about, when I was talking to Bobby Kelly and my agent, and I told my agent that Bobby Kelly is the next big fucking thing.

And he goes, yeah, Jooby, you're selling tickets. I got, no, he said something. He goes, people want to see you too. I go, yeah, but I don't have nothing to say. Robert Kelly's got something to say. When I feel like I got something to say, I'll be out there again. I'm not doing late shows. I'm not getting on planes.

But that's what I need to. I needed my mind to change over from what my mind. mind drugs, Coke, you know, all those jokes were great. They were great. They were great.

But for me to revamp them and take them out now, I'm not doing you any justice or me any justice. So please understand where I'm coming from. Next thing I want to talk about, which is a fucking... This has bothered me for a long time.

And guys, listen, when I say blue cheese with wings or go fuck your mother, it's a joke to you guys, but it's a way of life to me. you know when I got out of this area I saw a lot of things

that bothered me for years with food whatever what I thought was good what I thought was bad and what the fuck was I talking about that's why I don't like that's why I don't like doing buckets yeah like when I say that shit guys

I stick to it when I tell people I'm not getting on a plane because I don't want to get abused I'm not just saying that I don't want people to think I'm just saying that. And then someday you guys are saying, but Joey,

you went to this place. Listen, I might have to go to Austin in April or March or whatever. I still don't want to fucking fly. I don't like getting fucking abused. You know, that's a decision that I fucking make.

Again, I don't even know where I'm getting with this. But I'm very old-fashioned. That's why I used to get on Lee about, you're from Boston, Lee. You have to eat and let people know what you're about. You wouldn't eat that shit in Boston.

And that's why when I left New Jersey, there's a lot of shit I won't eat. And trust me, guys, a lot of years are looking at me going, Joey, you look like you eat a lot of things. Yeah. But there's a lot of things I won't fucking eat or do. I'm the type of guy. When I don't want to fucking do something,

I just won't fucking do it. This is how hard. And there's certain things like music. Music, I take like a fucking Bible. Movies, I take like a fucking Bible. Stand up. take like a fucking Bible. But there's a humanity around it.

When I first started getting into music, I told you guys, I'm into anything. Anything you play at me, there's some shit that I listen to, like, cheap trick. Do you want to go to heaven tonight? It's okay, but I'm not going to put it on every fucking day. And one of those bands that

really took me to a different level was Pink Floyd. You know, I'm a fan of Skinner, I'm a fan of fucking yes. I'm a fan of a lot of the fucking people who led the foundation for where we are today. Like Zeppelin? Yeah, I was listening to Zeppelin.

I'm like, this is fucking crazy. Whatever, I don't know what song I was listening to. And I'm like, this is crazy. These people never went on a TV show to promote themselves. They never did so many things that other people would do. They did it their way. They just did it their way. And they did it.

Like when I see Harry Styles or the dress on, I'm like Bill Bond, Bonham is spinning in his fucking grave. These guys were out fucking sucking, doing heroin, drinking to eight hours, fucking eight in the morning, putting fucking sharks of chicks' pussies in fucking Seattle.

Led Zeppelin was living like fucking, they were like Genghis Khan when they were out there. And then you look at 40 years later, you see Harry Stiles with a fucking dress on singing some song at the fucking garden. You're like, what the fuck has happened to music? What the fuck has happened? to fucking music.

You know, as a kid, I listened to, I think the first, listen, let's be honest, the first time I listened to Dark Side of the Moon. I'd like to tell you, I listen to Pipers at the Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd. That's their first time. And if you put it on, you're going to see why that guy fucking left. It's horrible. It's noises and bells and whistles. You think Yoko Honews in the fucking neighborhood, all that.

All that type of noise and shit. Trust me, you get those first couple of pinkish. Floyd albums. Guys, not for me. I could lie to you and, oh, well, they're so instrumental like Lou Reed. Go fuck yourself. It sucks like Lou Reed.

I can't stand none of that fucking music. So, after, I don't know, I got Dark Side of the Moon and then I think I got fucking, Wish You Were Here, Avillo. The Avillows, when I was in the eighth grade Turned me on, freshman year,

they were big on Pink Floyd. And I liked them. I liked them on my own. but I fucking once I got introduced to animals done lights out animals wish you were here dark side of the fucking moon the wall lights out I mean they put out like four or five albums I love umma guma lights out album but if you listen to all those albums yeah they're lyrically great but that fucking guitar of david Gilmore is mind-boggling

I just saw something two days ago that I'd never seen before I forget what album it's off of mind-boggling what david Gilmore was doing You know, people always say, well, rate your number one guitarist. I don't have one. I don't have one. I wish I did. For me, I look at David Gilmore, Eric Clapton. I see Jimmy Page.

I like so many of the old times, but I like a lot of these new fucking geesees too. I like a lot of people. But everybody, to me, serves a different fucking purpose. When I think about Gilmore, it's a bluesy out of the Eric Clapton school. It's just something that I've never heard before. And I fell in love with this fucking band. and I went to see him in 1980 or yeah 1980 and I fell in love with them after that I couldn't have enough of fucking Pink Floyd how many acid trips did I fucking take to Pink Floyd thousands okay I saw thousands of fucking devils and horns and blood listening to all these fucking albums late night with the earphones on just taking double barrel sunshine and fucking going to town Jack I took two hits of double barrel sunshine when I went to see the wall I like all that shit I really respect all that shit I have a a friend that's straighter than death that I grew up with.

Guy that does not like drugs. He doesn't like me talking about drugs. But I'll tell you what, motherfucker, this guy likes Pink Floyd. We could talk about Pink Floyd for hours. It shocks me that he's so straight and he likes Pink Floyd. Anyway, I was, I think what's ruined it for me in a lot of ways are ruined there for a lot of people seeing behind the curtain, you know, with everything. Musically, movies.

But musically, I never saw behind the curtain until the internet came. I would just read little blurbs. of magazines here and then i started seeing that the internet became like a lot of shit was going on youtube dog i could stay there was like two years i would stay on youtube to eight in the fucking morning just and i wish i was i was just watching music just looking at music music i grew up with music i listened to i just it reintroduced me to what the drug culture did to me you know i lost out on pink floyd i left pink floyd i left pink floyd at the door at the wall the final cut whatever I don't know by that time I was snort and coke banging people robbing people I didn't have no time to listen to oh this is great I didn't have that time no more life was in front of me so the next time I reconnected with Pink Floyd was probably in 2000 and then I started reading these articles and things that I did not know about you know here I was a struggling fucking comic and you're going up on stage and I'm

learning from different comics. And I'll never forget I worked with a headliner one time when I was featuring in Dallas. Great headline. A guy I looked up to when I got into the business. And the more I got to meet him in person, I fucking hated his guts. And today I just don't even pay attention to him. But I opened for him at one point. I went back there and I go, hey, man, there's a bunch of people out there to see you.

And he said to me, fuck those assholes. I'm not going out there. And I remember being this feature act Like a guy that wanted to learn and do better and going Oh my God, how fucking disgusting is this guy They pay his fucking bills I mean at that time it wasn't really a camera society There was probably like dirty people waiting to take a picture

Okay And he flat out was like fuck those assholes And I was like wow And it was just food for thought So after that years went by and I was like, if I ever get the chance to talk to people after a show, this is not even pictureville then. It was just talking to people.

I go, that's how you connect. These are the 30 people that are going to go out and tell 30 people. And the next time you come to town, you're going to have, you follow me, and that's how you build an audience, guys. And on top of that, they talk to you. They tell you what they saw, things that you don't pick up. My biggest critics are people that I've met online or whatever, and they criticized me in a professional manner.

Nobody likes to be criticized like, fuck, you, do you. You know, listen, I watch your set here, and I thought you cursed too much, whatever. Whatever. Years later, I was so blown away by this comedian. I was fucking blown away by it. It stopped making me like him because who the fuck thinks this way? So, and I'm a criminal, and I'm a drug addict, and this is 20 years ago.

So I was really deep into it at that point. And I still thought about like this fucking guy is a mutt for doing this. And maybe two years after I read this, I read this story about that I did not know about, that the reason why Roger Waters wrote the wall, the reason why he created the wall was one day in conversation. He goes, I really like what I do. But I wish I could build a wall around this while we're playing.

So we don't have to see the audience or ever deal with them. I don't want to deal with these people. And again, I was like, oh, my God. You know, I went to see the wall. I went to see all this shit. And then I was like, oh, Roger Waters. And then I started reading more and more about him. I saw different articles.

You know, I just like Pink Floyd. There was somebody I followed on Twitter, a David Gilmore fan. And I reached out to him a couple of times. Can David, can you come on the podcast? And he's like, this ain't David. Stupid. This is one of his fans.

And we run this. And we're looking for donations and stuff. And he had some stuff on Twitter that he had posted. And it was just, I'm such a, listen, I liked everybody in Pink Floyd. Nick Mason, I liked them all. They each served a fucking purpose. So now I'm finding out that this fucking guy is just like doing everything he can to, like, distance himself. They had to assume something happened.

They had to fucking take him to court. They took each other to fucking court. And at the same time, I'm learning about Sting and all these other great bands. I got taken down by one fucking moron that his ego blew the fuck up so big. You know, it's just so big. The other day I saw something with Stuart Copeland, and I was so fucking happy. He's fucking doing great that guy. He's still, you know, I think he, I just saw a movie recently where he did the soundtrack for some shit.

So, you know, I kept reading about it. And I got jaded towards fucking David, uh, towards whatever his name is Roger Waters. He was just, he was just saying, just stupid shit, you know,

just stupid fucking shit. And then, uh, I don't know. I had the opportunity to go see him. At the time, I was making a little money and it was me, Ari, and another kid.

And Ari called me and I'm like, yeah, I want to go see Roger Waters. It was one of those things like I wasn't thinking. They caught me at an off time, and I was like, absolutely. I'll go see Roger Waters, how much of the tickets? And they were like, well, they're like 300, $2.80, $2.25. And I'm like, for some reason, after I committed to it, a couple days later, I'm like,

I really don't want to go see this guy. This guy's a fucking dickhead. I don't want to go see this guy. First of all, it ain't Pink Floyd without fucking David Gilmore. In my world, it ain't Pink Floyd without David Gilmore. Listen, and I give me. breaks to people. Like, it wasn't Black Sabbath without Ozzy,

but when fucking Dio came in there, heaven and hell was a great fucking album. So I had to shut my fucking mouth. But this fucking guy just, I don't know. I take that shit so fucking seriously. Like, I took their work so seriously. The way I did Nirvana's,

the way I did fucking Led Zeppelin, the way I did early Ozzy. I look at that work and I go, that's fucking great work. And that's four. fucking guys, okay, regardless of what you say. Yeah, Randy Roach took it to the next level, but Ozzy was the statesman in that fucking band.

They were young kids. Him and Rudy were young kids. So when all this shit started going on about, you know, him trash and Gilmore and Gilmore kept it together for years, man. Gilmore didn't say dick. I think the one guy died from Pink Floyd over the years. I think there's three original members left. And what fucking got me a little off and you guys are going to.

And when Ari called me to do that, I even got acid. And for some reason, I didn't want to cancel on Ari. So what I said to him was, I'm going, but I'm only taking $200 cash with me. If I can't find a ticket for $200, I'm not going in there. And on the acid, we took the train down there. We went down there and, dog, we couldn't find a ticket for less than $200. And I was just fine with it. We ended up going to a place named Philippe's, and we got the French dish.

We were eating while we were tripping It was fucking tremendous Then we went back to my house and watched some movie And that was the end of it And I was like, thank God I didn't go against my word and go see this fucking guy And then maybe a year ago One of my friends, the guy I told you about

Call me up and he goes, hey man He's at the garden, do you want to go? And at first I was bored You know, I was like, I'll do anything at this point You know, I'll go see any fucking body Again, I was like, I'll go see anybody but I'm not going to see that motherfucker. I just, it's not for me.

I'm not going to go see him in there and talk shit. And then I was following him on Instagram and I was watching like his rehearsals and his show. For somebody to act this way, there's one thing, I could deal with anything, guys. I could deal with you being a junkie. I could deal with you robbing my weed. I could deal with a lot of things.

I tell you what I can't deal with. Before and now that I left L.A., even more than ever, I can't deal with ego. I don't like ego. I do not. There is nothing you could do to justify your treatment of people or you talking to people that way or your snobby fucking attitude. Unless you're fucking Jesus or you fucking, I don't know. I don't know who the fuck you think you are.

So anytime I see ego, I'm done. I'm done. And I see it right away. Something about the words, something about the way you got out of your car. I'm done. I don't need this shit. and it's an ego that motherfucker not for nothing

you had David Gilmore on the other side of you that's a combination where I come from that's a pair that's like that's like Jimmy Page and fucking Robert Plant that's like Mick and Keith they do everything together all those lyrics they look at the guitars you know for you to say this shit

at this point listening to the work that David Gilmore did how fucking day you done about a year ago maybe nine months ago, he was in Austin, and he went on the Rogan podcast, and listen, those guys, except for Tony Hinchcliff,

aren't fucking Pink Floyders. They're not fucking people. I saw the wall on Double Barrel Sunshine. There was no way I was going to see any Pink Floyd concert without fucking hallucingenics in my fucking system to the last degree. Why disrespect the brand?

Do you know what I'm saying? You're going to go see Pink Floyd. You're going to take a one-hitter? Go fuck you. Stay at home. Go and get the full effect of that motherfucker. You got to take mushrooms, take some sillies, chocolate. I don't give a fuck what you got to take.

I'm a fucking the real deal, guys. I went there and sat outside and talked to people. You know, tailgating for the wall was a fucking tremendous. People were saying, oh, they need Jews in the theater tonight. Put them up against the war. It was fucking crazy out there. People were dripping on acid. It was fucking insane.

Dead down there, you know, and I call her, He calls me next morning. He spent the night with him, and he was great, and the whole thing. And it was great, and I saw some of the podcast, and I enjoyed it. I didn't see the whole podcast. But the guy's still what the fuck he is. You know what I'm saying? The guy's still what he is.

So last Monday, I don't know if you guys saw it, his David Gilmore's wife, who was a lyricist who actually wrote music for fucking Pink Floyd. She knows these motherfuckers. I guess David Gilmore did an interview in Germany, and he just went off on the United States and Israel and how the United States is responsible for... Roger Waters, I'm sorry. Thank you for the correction.

And David Gilmore's wife saw it and fucking tore him up. Called him a misogynistic, egomaniac, fucking tax avoiding, fucking just everything she could call him. And then David Gilmore retweeted it and wrote, fucking, he's 100% correct. So now there's a fucking war going on over there at Pink Floydville. But the thing that really hit me in the head and Mike and I discussed it as we're setting up today, this motherfucker went and re-recorded one of the greatest albums of all time.

Not some Mickey Mouse Taylor Swift album, not some Mickey Mouse Harry Styles album. I mean an album that's life-changing. Do you understand me? Dark Side of the Moon was the number one album for fucking years. For years, it probably lost the crown two years ago, to Drake or something like this. Who the fuck knows? But they had the crown for years.

It's like, for you motherfuckers that don't know, stairway to heaven was the number one requested song for 30 fucking years straight. Now they're like, we can't play it no more. We're done. We can't. But for 30 fucking years, Dark Side of the Moon carried the exact same fucking cloud.

Now this fucking scumbag went and re-did Dark Side of the Moon with fucking no Gilmore, no Mason, the other guy's dead, who I don't fucking know. Right, yeah, right. Rick Wright. He fucking, uh, or Rick Wright's a guitarist from the Comedy Store. Anyway, he was a comic, great guy, Rick Wright. He used to go on there late night at the Comedy Store and play Mike fucking whatever

would wrap on. over his guitar. It was tremendous. But now he's going to tape over Dark Side of the fucking moon. This guy never stops. This is like, you know, and listen, like I was telling Mike,

maybe I'd come to Mike and go, Mike. We were in the band together. There was a couple things I didn't like about Dark Side of Moon since it's the 50th anniversary. Let's redo it. The whole brand. Take it out on the fucking road.

Let's do it. That I wouldn't be madder. but you think you're better than David Gilmore, motherfucker? That's not fucking bueno in my fucking world. So guess what? Fuck Roger Waters. I don't give a fuck about that motherfucker. Fuck that punk-ass bitch, because how can you do that?

How can you even... So all those motherfuckers that went to those concerts to see them on tour last year, you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself supporting that shit. giving that guy another reason to tap myself on the back and go home to tell himself in the mirror how fucking great he is. That's what you do when you go support that motherfucker Nazi cocksucker. Anti-taxpaying motherfucker.

How do you like that one? That's a big accusation, you fucking anti-tax cocksucker. But hey, what are you going to do? That's another week in our fucking beautiful fucking lives, guys. And now you know why I do the things. that I do and half the shit that I don't want to fucking do. You know, Madonna is going to be Madonna

and Roger Waters is going to be fucking Roger Waters. Both of them have their own fucking faults, but I think Roger Waters is just, he needs to be shot hung, put under the fucking jail. And poor Madonna, she just needs somebody to talk to her

and say, it's over. It's over, go on. She's putting a tour out now, this year. She's 64 years old. it's going to be a ton of lip syncing, a ton of fucking, you know. Is she? I would love it. I will fucking love it.

She needs somebody strong in front of her, so she doesn't have to do that much time at 64. She's not going to dance like she used to. You know, she could try. I mean, fucking Mick Jagger does a great fucking job with it, but yeah, McJaggar works it, though. You don't see Mick out making TikTok videos, do you? You know why? Because Mick Jagger is somewhere getting his dick suck. You don't see Mick Jag on TikTok.

You don't see none of those guys like that. What's that? TikTok. Whatever the fuck it's called. The Chinese app. You know, guys, just see the world for what the fuck it is. I do. They can't pull the wool over my eyes anymore.

I just see it and go, what the fuck of these idiots doing? But anyway, that's another fun-filled fucking Monday motivation podcast from myself. That's why I cut it to once a week. And in the future, when I get this fucking. coconut going up again and I don't feel like I'm wasting your time. I'll do 10 fucking podcast a week. When I have something to say, these last two or three weeks, I've had something to say. I'm making a slow comeback into who the fuck I was.

I'm excited about the book. Today, I think Chaz's podcast is coming. I did Chaz's and I did Sillamina's podcast last week. I don't know how to pronounce it. That's all coming out this week, trying to promote the book. And that's it, guys. I'm just excited about fucking turning 60 this week. I never ever thought this.

day would come. Honestly, I never ever thought about this day because I had more important things to think about. But I'm happy that we made it. We did something with our lives, man. I'm fucking ready to die. I'm like Biggie Smalls now. I'm ready to die. If you think I want to be walking around with a fucking bag, shit and pissing, you got another thing coming. But that's not, I'm just worried about, I'm just looking forward to this week, guys. And that's it and that's that. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Stay black. And I'm lurking, motherfuckers.

I'm in the neighborhood. I'll keep you guys posted. And I'll see you guys next Monday or next Tuesday. I don't know if we're going to put it out on my birthday, but maybe we will. I'll see you motherfuckers next Monday. Tip Top McGoo. Stay black. Uncle Joey loves you.

And have a great week. All right. I want to thank you guys for supporting the podcast today. Leave Madonna alone. It's all going to work out. The join is brought to you by Blue Chew. Blue Chew is the online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra Sealis, but insurable tablets at a fracture of the cost.

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