The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #231 - Joey Diaz, Rudy Sarzo and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: November 18, 2014

Rudy Sarzo, Musician and Bass Player who has played with Black Sabbath, White Snake, Quiet Riot, DIO and Blue Oyster Cult to name a few, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code words joey or church for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  Jam on It - Newcleus I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Party Train - The Gap Band Recorded on 11/17/2014

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the day the devil was buried at sea. Are you fucking kidding me or what? The church of what's happening now? Come on at you, you filthy animals. Oh shit. Let's go. What's happened? Actually, that's the original version.

The original version. The one that I're playing on is... Faster. It's got Steve Vye in. Yeah, Stevie Vi. You can hear it. Yeah. You always find the fucked up songs league, goddammit.

Oh, that's cool. It's, it's... Yeah, that was a little slower. You like the slow version? I grew up playing this version, yeah. And I really loved the feel of it, because this is like a 70s vibe, which is what I grew up playing, you know, 70s music, you know? So he's got that really classic rock vibe to it. So by the time we re-recorded the song, the record company, one of more modern.

So, you know, it has all these more of an 80s feel to it, but still is an awesome blue song. So what should I search for the newer version? You just call Slipp of the Tong or Steve Vai. Is Steve Ville full for your loving? Because Steve, I play guitar on that one. On the microphone, Mr. Rudy Sarzo, the legendary Rudy Sarzo, Lee Syed. What's happening, you bad motherfuck? I think I have it.

You want me to play this? Yeah, yeah. Just play the differences. We're just fucking around. Holy shit. Oh shit. Now, did you do everything all with, the vocals? Oh, everything, yeah, from scratch.

Lucky, good enough for me. A little shout-out, little love for Stevie Vi. He's going through some hard times right now. Right? He's going through cancer right now. Steve Vi? Somebody's got cancer. I thought it was Stevie Vi. Maybe I'm wrong.

But if he is, I hope not. Yeah, I just want to wish him. Good luck. He's a dear friend, you know. And, you know, he really takes great care of himself. He's a vegetarian and vegan. So, matter of fact, when we were playing together in Weissnake, he turned me on.

I was a vegetarian for five or six years. He turned me on into food combining or not combining foods. You know, in the morning, just having juice and not combining your carbs with your proteins, so your food digest better and stuff like that. So he really takes care of himself, you know, more than anybody I know. So maybe it's not him. I'm happy you're not a vegan no more. Cubans are not vegans, you know what I'm saying?

They try to slow it down a little bit. Like when the Cuban gets a heart attack, he'll switch it to turkey meat. I'll switch the fucking piccadilla to turkey meat. But that's as bad as I get. That's as fuck that shit. What's up, Lisa? How was your weekend, buddy? It was good.

You know what I'm doing a lot now? I've been on a diet for a few months for like six months, and my girlfriend and I are getting sick of it. But I've lived in L.A. for like four years, and I've never really left the valley. Like, other than working down in Santa Monica, I never left. So we took the train down to Japan town Or Little Tokyo in downtown We walked for like 20 minutes

We found this revolving sushi bar Like the place that it goes around on the conveyor belt We walked around there We went to a couple Japanese bakeries and stuff It was a lot of fun Something different You gotta get out of the valley sometimes Because I mean I've lived here for years

And I haven't I've seen like less than 1% of LA So it was fun doing that You get stale I get really stale That's why I like Bong Beachville left right Because I was sitting I was just telling these guys that

I'll sit at home not to lose a fucking parking spot Like if it's between me losing this parking spot Or me come out, I'll stay home Especially like Tuesdays and Thursdays Those motherfuckers double up on my block Once you leave it I don't even know where these cars come from It's like they pop from the ground up to some shit

Right, well I when I didn't have a parking spot in my place I would never ever leave I don't know how you do it sometime I don't know how the fuck I do it But I had a great weekend I went to Portland Oregon How was it? Fucking shows were great man

I got to tell you, I lived in the Pacific Northwest, and it's always had this little cool feeling to it, the Pacific Northwest. Portland has really got it down. You know, Portland reminds me of the old Houston comedy scene, like that people were involved in it. Like the people went to bars and spoke about the guy performing. They didn't know his name. Just go down there and watch them.

Portland has that feel through. They don't need to know what you are or what TV show you're on, or know that bullshit that comes with comedy. We heard you were funny. We're going to come down here and check you out. You know, everybody brought me refa and joints. And some guy brought the Russian kid, brought blueberry cake that was just brown from the T.HC. And I gave it out to the staff on Friday night.

And everybody got ripped. I came to the next day, and the manager's like, you can't be giving their shit out to my workers here. Because the one girl was on the floor sleeping back there. So it was... Did you ever hear from the convenience store worker who you gave the gummy to? You gave the Gumi Sharmano's gummy to, like, this point? Poor lady. Oh, no, no, I haven't gone over there.

I haven't gone over there to the spot. I'll go over there. Tomorrow, I've got to meet somebody there for coffee, so I'll see you then. But it was just a great weekend. I really like Portland, and I want to thank everybody who came out. I want to thank Lisa, who left me a little present for my daughter. She left me a beautiful little, like, princess dress and a cute little shirt. And I want to always thank Greg and Lynn for always.

They dropped off some medables and whatnot, so it was pretty nice. Well, it's really cool. Our guest is Rudy Sarzo, and you guys were talking before about Vegas. It must be really cool when you're like, you guys travel for a living. For a living. But I don't travel. Rudy travel. Rudy got some freaking motherfucking fly a mile back.

But you get to go to like different cities and like get, like, go there a lot and get to know people. Yeah, you know, it depends on the band. Like when I was playing with Blue Wasteur Cult, that was the last band that I was doing a lot of weekends, you know, which actually do make sense in today's climate, musical climate. The fact that if you can play Thursday through Sunday and go home on Monday and, you know, fly back out again on Thursday, you're fine. Because, you know, if you're going to be playing Tuesday to Wednesday, they're going to be shitholes. You know, there's those gigs that you're just doing because you, you know, because if you don't play, you're going to be on the road, staying in hotels. You know, there's going to be a tour bus to pay for.

There's going to be the crew to pay for. So you just want it's like a shark. You've got to keep it moving. so a band is the same thing. So if you take too many days off on the road, you start losing money. So my preferred way of touring unless it's like, you know, a real, you know, high-end type of band,

it's actually just to do weekends. Because, you know, those are the prime gigs. Those are the B market, you know, or B market. And actually the B market is what I consider now playing casinos. Because when you go into a small town, all of a sudden you realize that there's a casino right down the street and it's actually one of the best gigs out there, you know. Do you do the same location for the entire weekend or do you go into an area and go like an hour away each day? No, I've actually done those, the residence, you know.

Okay. I had a gig in Las Vegas about five years ago. It was called Monster Circus. Actually, we were right after Barry Menelow on that Elvis theater, you know, in the, at the Hilton. And I loved it. I loved it because, you know, you just get up there and you're staying at the hotel, you fly in.

Again, it was one of those weekend things. You know, it was like from Thursday until Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I think, yeah, Saturday or Sunday was the, you know, four shows a week. And the residents just go home and, you know, have a normal life. Now, how is touring? I was looking at you and I'm going, Jesus, I'm going to ask Rudy, how is touring chains in 20 years? Fuck it.

I saw Rudy 31 years ago. You saw him play? Yeah, 31 maybe, right, 83. Well, actually, my first tour was in 81, so that's like 33 years ago. 81, I saw it. Whenever they came to April, to the Palladium. Which band? Ozzy.

Oh, Ozzy. Yeah, that's the first time I saw it. You played with Aussie? Yeah. Who have you played with? Because, I mean, because it's so far you said. White Snake. O'S.

White Snake. Oh, my God. Dio and, um, the Blue Ace are called that I just, yeah, just mentioned. And who were you recently? Yeah, the Jeff Tate version

of Queens Wright. Queens, right? Okay. Yeah. It's so funny that. How has it changed in 33 years? Like when you first started with Quiet Riot, let's say. Quiet Riot opened for Ozzie for? Oh, no, Quiet Riot opened for somebody for a while.

That ain't not. Oh, God, we open up for everybody. From Zizi Top to Scorpions to Iron Maiden to Loverboy, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest. Now, when those days, did you have a wife? No, that was 83, so I got married in 84.

So 81, how was touring then? You toured every fucking, because I remember, like, looking at a band schedule. Like, for me, they would do Philadelphia on Wednesday. Newark on Thursday, and then shoot into New York on Friday or Saturday. But I also know that there was no, like, fucking Sunday through. Thursday off. You guys were right back at it. We were always on the road. Always. There was a circuit that you

played the A markets, like where you're talking about the Philadelphia and the New York City and, you know, New York. Yeah, yeah, you know. But then we had the B markets were towns that had hockey arenas. Or B market, you know, like the minor league hockey arenas.

Those were great venues. You know, and so we would do all of those. You know, and it was great because we were really never off. And you really don't want a night off. You know, 33 years ago, having a night off meant that you were going to wind up,

you know, the next day with a huge hangover because there's nothing to do. 33 years ago, you check into a holiday inn. It was a home box office, which really was a box. It was a box with a string on it, with three levels. Yeah, and you have basically HBO

and whatever channels they had, you know, local channels. That was it. That was your entertainment. our Facebook was actually going down to the bar, you know, to meet the fans and the crew and the other band that we were touring with. That was our social networking was going down to the bar. So it meant that you went up the whole night drinking, you know, and that really affects you after a while, you know, being on the road. So, you know, we had all those distractions. We don't have that anymore.

You know, we can actually be very creative because we have all the technology available to us. You know, the same technology that allows our music to be stolen gives us the freedom to create more. Isn't that ironic? It's ironic, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's weird how I used to see those schedules. Like, how is touring chains? I mean, even with me, when I went on the road 15 years ago,

I went on the road with one thing in mind to do jokes and to get hot, to get fucked up. I didn't know when I was coming back. Yeah, I had a plane ticket for Sunday at 3 in the afternoon. but I didn't know if I was going to make that plane or not because I was going deep on Saturday night I was going deep on Friday night it didn't matter to me if I got a movie it didn't matter

and now Jesus Christ I'm to the fucking dime like I'm for the dime like I gotta be on a they're picking me up at 415 Thursday morning I'm in bed at 8 o'clock Wednesday night you know I get off the plane I go whatever at 2 to Philadelphia take a shower I relax

where in the old days I would go right out I would just throw them my clothes in the fucking room and shoot out to do something that had no meaning. No meaning until 6.30 and I go home, take a shower and go to the show, then I wonder why I'd bomb. Why did you bomb? Because you haven't relaxed. Your mind hasn't stopped. You haven't taken a minute for yourself. I'd go out that night, get fucked up, and that's the whole weekend. There was no creativity. There was no, it was just doing the shows. I didn't even look at a notebook. I wouldn't even bring a notebook with me. How could you continue with your career?

bombing. It was about, it was a 50-50 shot. Every night. It was a 50-50 shot and it didn't matter because after the show I was no way to get my dick suck. So the bombing didn't really, I was bombing, this is my mentality then. I was bombing in a place where it didn't matter. I was trying out a new joke. I wasn't, I wouldn't go prepared. It was just a horrible. But then I got better and better. I got better about it and I would bring a notebook and stuff. And some nights I would write, coked up, like I would actually get coked up and write or make believe I was writing. It was, it really was a disaster. And then, but I still made progress.

It was, or in my mind, I thought I made progress. I started headlining. Obviously, they started headlining me. I didn't take it. The addiction was the whole thing. To get away from, at the time, my girlfriend, because I couldn't get high around. Not that that stopped me. But it was just to get away from her to go and get high.

I mean, I used to do two weeks in 10. Texas, from 2003 to 2006 or 2002, the club owner would headline me over the holidays. And I would do two weeks every night, Rudy, every night. I remember just the other day, I just a coat case was on. You know, I show a cold case that was on for a moment. I'm on one of the episodes. I shot that on the Monday after the holidays. You know that two-week break you have?

Yeah. Like, I had to shoot that like January 4th. Oh. And I came back that January 3rd. I wish you guys looked that episode up and see how big I am. I had to be 420. That's when I was walking around at like 410, but after those two weeks, you could see it.

You couldn't even see my eyes from the bloating, from being bloated, from all the eating salt, eating restaurant food, French fries, you know, not taking care of myself. And now it's completely different, Rudy. Now it's completely different. I get a question for you because, you know, I used to play with Sam Kinnison.

You know, we shared the same management. I played on his records. We became friends. I went to a lot of his gigs. And what he used to do was at the end of the show, he would bring out a band. Right. Most of his buddies, you know, kind of like an old star band. We would do a wild thing.

I actually played on that record. And I was on the video. And I remember him going on on stage really messed up. I mean, like, you know, drunk and, you know, coke and. And he would bomb, but people would still show up. It was crazy. You know, maybe it was like to see a train wreck or something? It's like the same thing.

Who's the chick that died two years ago? I don't want to go to rehab. At the end, at the end, you knew the bitch was either going to cancel, be fucked up, sing a son, and give you the finger, and leave. People still pay the 120 to go see it. People love a train wreck. Is it different with bands? Because with comedy, it's only you talking.

So like it's, would it be easier to tell if you were messed up? Oh, please, yes. And then, but I would imagine being fucked up messes with playing music. It must. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can't play and be screwed up. No, no, it's impossible. Especially if you're playing some quality music, you know. I mean, I can tell you because I experienced that.

I mean, there was a show in Kansas City one time. I was playing with Ozzy and Ozzy used to like take B-12 shots. So the promoter could only find a dentist that would come to administer the B-12 shots backstage. You know, so the guy goes over to me on the side right before I was going on stage and say, hey, you want to bump? And remember the old days?

Those little... Biles, yeah. Yeah, little carbureators. It was like, like, what do you call those? It was like a little bullet. Oh, and you turn the thing around and then you turn it around again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go, yeah, what the hell are you?

He's a doctor. You know, it must be someone like, you know, really good, you know, prescription, you know,

cocaine, I guess, you know. So I did it. It was the only time that I've ever did it, you know, with Ozzy,

going on stage. And I'm telling you, I spend half the show, I just, I just wanted to, like, not die. It's terrible.

It's awful. It's so forth. I would, with all these problems I had, I did have one piece of thing that kept me together. March 17th, 1992, I got on stage Coked Up. I never got on stage

Coked Up ever again. Why do you remember the date? Because I bombed that bad. It was two different. I thought that, wait a second, if I do two lines, I'm going to get chatty. And I'm going to go up there and just chit-chat. I'm going to be fucking great. Nobody's figured this out yet. Richard Pryor figured it out saying, Kenison got it, and now I got it.

And I went on stage because the cocaine cuts your heart from your material. It cuts it. That's why you can't be funny. Yeah, you'll get away with some jokes. There's some jerk off. They'll laugh. But you don't sell the joke. The joke isn't being sold.

It's just like reading a book. So you went out and he, whatever. That's what it felt like to me. I could tell if I did too much coke the night before, it would affect my stand-up. Even if I didn't do coke the whole day, it would affect my stand-up. I couldn't control my mind. Was it like a hangover?

Yeah, it was like a hangover, but it was like a mental. Your heart and your mind aren't connecting. Your mouth and your heart and your soul are not connecting. It's very weird to explain. See, in addition to affecting your physically, I mean, your emotions, it affects your body. It's like it affects the blood flow to your ears.

So you start to hear more bass than treble. And if you're on stage and somebody's doing blow, they're just going to start turning around and saying that you're playing way too loud, where you're just playing at the same volume as you always play, right? And if you, there's certain records that if you go back in the 70s and you listen to them and the bottom is gone, it means that they spent, they were, they spent the night mixing those records. And to overcompensate, they lower the base, you know, the bottom end.

of the record. So it sounds like sizzling, like a lot of highs. They were on blow when they were mixing that, you know, and a lot of records were mixing like that back in the 70s because, you know, you had a deadline, you know, you have to like, you spend so much time recording it and the record company says, oh, listen, we're coming back tomorrow to pick up the record, the mix record, and then they'll take it to master it and then, you know, release it. So a lot of these guys were under the gun, you know, and do, because if you're going to do a mix a night, you're going to take you two weeks to do it and sometimes you just didn't have two weeks you would have like maybe one week so you're trying to compensate by just doing staying up long enough to do two mixes a day

like those i just read on youtube about a month ago they had a campaign about volume four the album black sabbath yeah and what the the whole part of it was that the first four black salm Black Sabatoms, I guess, were recorded in one night. Like, the first one, one night, the second one night. I don't know how true it is, whatever they were saying. How does that happen? How do you fucking go into a... I mean, I always want to be a musician.

Easy, easy, easy, easy. Because don't you have to... All right, so let's say, snowblind. All right, Rudy, we're doing snowblind. One, two, three. First of all, we don't even do it together. You lay the base first. Oh, no, no, no.

How do you do it? Not like that. Back in the day, a lot of the bands would go on the road, and they would do all these, you know, they played everywhere. Back in the day, you start your tour like in Stockholm or somewhere in Scandinavia and you do like a Scandinavian tour, which means that you're testing your material to go into studio in a couple of weeks, right? So you do all these tours to get the band tied and get paid for it. That was like pre-production. And then you go into studio. And then you do like

one or two takes of each song and you're done. You're done. And in the days when people used to record in the same room with a really good engineer that knew how to mic everything and yeah that's the way it used to be done no lay your track lay your bass line so like I read

the one Aerosmith book the one from 98 when they talked about how much they hated each other and 75 so Joe Perry would go down and do the guitar like they had a sign of sheet they all lived in the same house but they had a sign

a sheet to go into the recording studio one of the time. They wouldn't get along. So everybody, the drummer went. So did you play the song first? Then everybody left. And then you redid your bass lines and he did his guitar. Was that I was done? Because I'm fucking confused here.

Yeah, listen, all the, like, if you read about the Beatles, you know, the first record they did with George Martin. They actually did that in one day. They did. And it was like, what, 14 songs, 15 songs? Because in America, we would get 10 songs per album. But in the UK release, it was actually the full record, the 15 songs or whatever they happened to record, you know.

And I think that what happened was in America, engineers and producers, they either started getting picky or lazy. Because the guys back in Europe, you know, in England, all this English and English and engineers and producers, they had it down. They knew. I mean, I work with some of those guys. And they don't over, look, it got so bad that you had to spend one day just to get a snare sound back in the 70s. If you were going into a, to make a record, it was a given that the first day was just drums. And you would spend most of the day just getting a stupid snare sound.

Come on. You know, just put, if you know what you're doing, you just put maybe three mics. the best setups I've ever played with, just three mics, one on the kick, one of the snare, one overhead, and that's it. Most of the classic rock records will listen to, that's the way that they were recorded. And then either direct or both, you know, you amp, you put a mic on the bass amp and direct, and then, you know, you get isolation rooms. You know, all the students were designed like that, so you isolate your amplifiers, or in the case of, like, where the stones used to record, you know, they did exile.

Main Street in a house that Keith Richards rented in the south of France. You know, and they took the basement and they just, you know, make baffles to separate the amplifiers. And that's how they did it, you know. And those are classic albums. They have a vibe. They have soul to it. You know, we're talking about the soul and your material when you're delivering it.

That's what's missing when you start separating people. And, you know, one guy, I do a lot of records nowadays in my pajamas at home with my my little dog watching me because they send me the tracks. Are they going to be timeless records? No, no, no. To me, a timeless record, everybody has to be in the same room to record that. Is it like a feeling? Is it like kind of like the room has like a, like when the band's playing together?

Is it like? Right now we're experiencing it. Okay, you and I, we did a podcast. It's way different this one because I'm looking at you, you're looking at me. We're communicating in the same room. You know, it's not like me at home with my telephone, you know, my cell phone talking to you, calling in, okay, yeah, it was good, but it doesn't have that intimacy that we're having now. You know, it's amazing. We were talking about a band, how you have so many different personalities to deal with, and you were saying how lucky I was, because when you do comedy, it's just you in the microphone.

You just got to show up a bar plug it, then fucking ego crazy. For a guy like me, when I was growing up, I read all those magazines. I read circus, and I read about recording sessions. And my dick used to get hard. Like just, you know, the stones going to Jamaica. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Everybody going to Jamaica for two months.

You know, whether we like each other or not, we got a big bag of Rifa. We fucking get a couple black chicks and we start, you know, whatever. To me, that was phenomenal. Exile on Main Street. Now, what happened when Excelled? It wasn't somebody owed money. Didn't somebody owe money?

That's why they were hiding. That's why they were in France. somebody was looked for you. Richards was looking. Somebody was looking for somebody. You know, I mean, there's a documentary about it, and they touch on it lightly because it was basically a documentary,

Excell on Main Street documentary. If you got Netflix, you can watch it on that. It was basically about the making of the record. But, you know, it was, they were tax. Right, tax. It was taxed. Yeah, taxed. Because in England, if you made a certain amount of money,

if you stayed in the country, you had to pay so much taxes. So if you make the money, record somewhere else, you know, you're not going to be hit with all those taxes here. Do you prefer working solo or with a group because I've worked with a few comedians and comedians don't really tour that much together. Some of them do, but not really it's like a single person. I would imagine with a five or six person group. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, comedy is more like boxing. Yeah. It's only like two guys in the ring at the time. You know, it's a man on, you know, one-on-one,

you know, a band is really a team support. But how often does it go bad? Like, how often do people hate each other and fight about money? How many teams? How many? Name it sport. I mean, is there any happy team? No, of course not.

I mean, there's something going on. Because everybody, we were talking about this. That's the crazy factor. You have to be crazy to do what you do, Joey. I mean, it's, you know. No, I've always known it. I spoke to my wife about last night. I was talking, we were talking about something,

and she goes, is that person, Joey D. is crazy? Or the other crazy? And I go, Joey D. is crazy. He's crazy. But he's not like hearing voices and shooting people. I mean, you know, to be crazy doesn't mean to be evil. Right. No, no, no, no. It's just like outside of the box. You know, you're doing, you got dreams and you just go for them.

You know, you're not going to listen to everybody else telling you, oh, no, because you're whatever you are, you're never going to make it and whatever. So you leave town because you want to get away from these. people and you wind up whatever you think the the all the opportunities are to me it was LA you know because the record companies were here and and all the musicians that thought like-minded were here so I joined a band and I slip on the floor and I you know and I did all this crazy shit you know that if I look back now go oh my God

how did I have the balls to do all that and I but I did you know and again if you lose that edge that craziness you're in trouble because you're gonna you're You're not going to move forward. You're not going to progress. It's the craziness that will keep you going forward, getting better, getting crazier. I always thought when I got off drugs that my comedy was going to be done. That was one of the reasons towards the end. I didn't want to get off the blow or nothing.

And then I thought about it. And I was like, wait a second. I was always fucking crazy. I just went to Miami. And I saw people, they were holding Los Santo Mio for 35 years. they held a bunch of my stuff, T-shirts and trophies, and I went down there,

and I started talking to her, and I said, you know, I was going to your house on the 148th Street. And she goes, when I first met you, she goes, she goes, when you called, I started thinking about you,

you know, in our evolution, you know, she was 18, and I was six when I met my godmother's daughter. We all got back together. And I used to go to 148th Street,

and she goes, you were a quiet fucking kid. She goes, you built models. She goes, you had a million fucking models. She goes, you would lock yourself in a room and put on music and build models all fucking day, 10 hours, three, four models in a day. It was brilliant.

You paint them in like this. I don't remember. I really don't remember like a little thing. Really? And she goes, but then you got hit and a hat with that lunchbox. And that was the beginning of the end. She goes, not that the lunchbox made you crazy. You just didn't like it. It brought the real inside of you out. You were scared, you were timid, you didn't know the language. She goes, but once they hit you in the head with that lunchbox that day, everything changed. She goes, you became aggressive, you became, you got stitches, and even in the hospital, I remember you told us that night at dinner at your mother's bar. You said, this will never happen to me again. Nobody will ever hit me in the fucking head with a lunchbox. In fact, I'm going to hunt them down.

tomorrow and they all looked at me like, Colson Antonio, you can't go hunting these kids down in Central Park. And I went to Central Park by myself. And then when I moved to Jersey, I was so insecure about being Cuban

that the first day I went out, there was a fight, and I knew for me to get through to these guys. I had to jump in that fight and stick up for this kid that was getting beat up by himself. As crazy as it was, he was one kid against eight.

That's as crazy. Those are Bruce Lee can't that shit. But in the back of my mind, I knew, I knew for me to get into this neighborhood. I had just come from New York City where there was a couple of Spanish people, there's Puerto Ricans, you know, whatever, in the neighborhood. I was moving to North Bergen, New Jersey in 1960, 1970. There was not too many Spanish people. They were in Union City. They were that way, and they were in West New York. They weren't in North Bergen. So I lived in that house for a year before I went out. Do you know that? A year I lived in that house.

I would always go to my mother's bar in Union City I wouldn't go play with the kids in the neighborhood and my mom would tell me you gotta go you gotta go you gotta go play and one day I left with my white clothes on because I used to dress them my mom used to dress me in white

with the white sneakers with a gold chain and I went around the corner I heard them yelling and screaming and I jumped in and backed that kid and my life is I never looked back I always had to follow that mentality I always had to be fucking nuts but what people that know was

that I wasn't trying to be nuts. I really was fucking nuts. You know, it just came to me natural. And then as I got older, I got the Cuban in me. And I worked very hard to get that Cuban man out of me. The jealousy, the quick reaction, the hand. My hand would come up first. I wouldn't even give a fuck.

I'd come flying through a window. I worked hard to get that out of my system. Like, I really had to work hard to get the Guadisun. What do you call it? The Guanaoosa out of your system. because it was going to take me down. It still takes me down. That's why I avoid a lot of different situations.

We're going to have Steve Byrne on the podcast here in a couple of weeks, and he called me this year and asked me if I wanted to do his show. And I thanked him because I go the last time I saw you, I was very crazy. I went at somebody at the comedy store. And as they were breaking us up, I remember looking, and it was Steve Byrne, and looking at his face going, holy fuck, this guy's nuts.

and my anger wasn't towards Steve Byrne but him seeing me in that situation always made me very embarrassed in front of Steve Byrne I never wanted to see Steve Byrne again If he wouldn't have called me I wouldn't have been his friend anymore Because he saw me It's like the night I stuck up for Maryland

My friend died And somebody kept torturing her when she was alive This fucking producer from L.A. And at the wake he showed up to the wake He had the balls to show for the wait You know me Doug That's my fucking realm I'm from the world that I die

How are you going to bust somebody's balls when they're alive Then walk into his wake Not when I'm alive Not on my fucking clock And I went off And that reputation followed me in L.A. People don't mess him because I went off. I made the guy leave.

I told him I'm going to get off the stage I'm going to go to you, you're returning your wife And I meant it I didn't care In my world where I come from That's I'm fucking nuts But I work very hard For people don't see that

I work very hard. I avoid a lot of contact with people. I already know this. I knew this at 30. I knew when I got out of prison, that was one thing for me to do what I was doing as a comedian, that I had to calm that down. And that's why I avoid it.

I avoid it, number one, number two. When something happens, I attacked that situation right off the bat, so it doesn't eat away at me. Can't eat away at me. Because if I let it eat away, you know, and I see you, then it's going to be bad for you. It's going to be really fucking bad for you.

So I can't let it eat away on me. I really can't. I get fucking hot. So I got to call you at your house and go, hey, dog, this is the situation. And if you hang up with me, then I'm going to go to your house and light it on fire. That's how crazy I am. That's how fucking nuts I am. And it's just, I don't want to hit nobody.

I just don't want nobody going to eat. I don't like, I'm from old school. You don't even, what's my favorite line in the Godfather is they should have, they should have stopped Hitler in Munich. If they were to stop them Munich, we wouldn't have had this fucking problem. And that's why I go crazy. And I've worked very hard to eliminate that from my life, you know, to eliminate that whatever. So that's the craziness I have.

But it's a thin line. It's the same craziness that fuel me to keep doing what I do. Because my thing that fuels me is I'm proving a fucking point to you. I'm proving a point that when we went and told people that we were going to be comedians, they told me I was a felon. They told me I was too old. They told me it was too hard. They told me a thousand reasons why.

But I believed in myself. And I also believe that if they knew about my life and who I was inside, it would help me. And that's, that craziness is what keeps me waking up every morning to prove my point, that anybody could do what the fuck I do. You know, everybody tells you you can't do this. You put limitations on yourself. This one I got in the car. I was going to go to Jiu-Jitsu.

And in the car this morning, I was talking myself out of it, really. Talking myself out of it. But then that Cuban voice that says, I met him see God and all those bad words came, and I fucking shot down the Beverly Hills. So that crazy, you're right. That crazy is, what fuels me, what brought the conversation up was we had lunch one day,

and you had said to me that in the music business, there's a thin line between mental health and the artist. And it's the same thing in comedy. I mean, you're right. What makes somebody get up and say, I'm going to fucking live three or four years in this life of sleeping in floors you know

and everybody's done it if you listen to guns and roses slag you know aerosmith everybody's fucking paid that price but you gotta eat a bug one day you gotta eat a Coke snot that's it

that's all there is that's it yeah but you know what like you I know you and I used to hang out with Sam Kinnison

and a bunch of other Jimmy Schubert who did that Jimmy, Jimmy Schubert and comedians. And all you guys, as crazy as you are, you guys are the nicest people, most generous people I've ever known. Sam was out of his mind generous. I mean, like beyond, I mean, it was like embarrassing, generous, you know, type of a guy.

So it's, again, going back to being crazy, it's not about being evil. None of that at all. It's about not knowing any boundaries. No boundaries. You know, you're limitless to what you really want to achieve in life. You know. You live there the night that Sam and Billy Idol went on it. Oh, God, I was on stage.

What happened? What the fuck happened? Cesar's Palace in Las Vegas is very simple. Sam was, you know, used to do two shows a night. So on the first show, he hadn't gone to sleep for about two or three days. You know, so we were up as sweet. Lenny Bruises. Mother.

Mom was there because she always hung out with Sam and the whole gang. Carla Ball, Lattie Clark, Mitchell Walters. Alan Steffin. Alan Steffin. All those are Jimmy Schuper. All those guys. And so Sam used to bring on stage, Sabrina and Malika, who became, Malika, became his wife, and Sabrina who was his sister-in-law, right? And they would be dressed like showgirls.

You know, Las Vegas showgirls outfits with the affair. because they used to be short girls before they met. So we're on stage playing a wild thing, you know, the song. And Billy Idol is there, you know, and he's on stage doing his Billy Idol thing. And he starts grabbing Malika and Sam, which has, you know, he went nuts, you know. So we get off the stage, go back up to his suite, and he's like throwing shit around. He's just like going insane saying next time on the next set

I'm going to fucking deck up you know on stage one you know all of that so second show comes around and he does his comedy and then we do our song and Billy was gone but his his sidekick was there

so Sam just decked his friend because he couldn't get to Billy and that was and that's what happened Caesar's Palace that must have been fucking... Listen, the reason why I got into comedy was after I read a little Lenny Bruce book. I was wafering.

Like, I was wafering. I didn't know what I was going to do in my life. I was leaning towards comedy, but once I read, ladies and gentlemen, I knew it was for me. And when I was seeing all that, I mean, when I was watching Sam go crazy, and I knew he had the outlaws

and the craziness, and the fucking hotel, and the crashing cars, that was another part that lured me to this crazy. It really is craziness. When you were there, when you were part of this, were you looking around saying to yourself, this is just insane.

This guy's a comic. Yeah, it was. Playing fucking music. It was more insane than any musician I ever been around. Yeah. It was beyond rock and roll. It was comedian crazy. Richard Pryor stuff, you know.

It was level. You know, it was, yeah. And you're talking to a guy who was in the same band with Ozzy. I play with Ozzie, but no, Sam Kinnison was more crazy than Ozzie. I can't even imagine that shit. Yeah. This morning I was driving and they were talking about the Pink Floyd album, the new Pink Floyd album.

Did you hear it yet? I haven't listened to it. But the beauty of it was that two weeks ago that fuck Roger Waters came up and said, I have nothing to do with this album. You know? And you have, in a band, you have these four people and there's always this one little ego that floats around, controls it or he doesn't. To me, these egos destroy the music business with their craziness. One is

Roger Waters. I don't know. You know, I've never met David Gilmore. I don't know how crazy he is or the rest of the guys. I don't know what happened, but I know it. When I think a crazy ego, I think of Roger Waters and I think of Sting, as much as I love Sting and as much as

I love the police, you know? What happened? I mean, do you know? I mean, how the fuck does this happen that your importance because when I was thinking about like Sting for example so you're that important that you're going to break up this band

and take away from us fans for your ego the same thing with Roger Waters and then the fucking guy goes I don't know what David Gilmore says I don't know he goes to release this album and Roger Waters says I have nothing to do with this album that's just an album of instrumental's right

I don't even know if you know about it doesn't fucking matter you know people like that is just I have never heard what the voices in their heads are saying or what they sound like. So it's kind of hard for me to put myself in that position. Because there's going to be some crazy motherfuckers going on in his head telling them shit. Well, I mean, it's kind of what I was talking, asking earlier. Like, if you were in a band, maybe not you, but don't think a comedian, since it always by themselves,

like, if you were suddenly in a band with a group of people, don't you think that ego would have the same thing would happen? I think I'm surprised it doesn't happen more. I don't know. I got a question for you. Do you consider yourself an artist? Me? Yeah. Yes and no.

Because that's a problem with musicians. Most of them who consider what this is art, what I'm doing, and I'm not doing it to place the audience. I'm doing to place my artistic intentions or vision. Do you ever go on stage like that? No. No, never. That's why I don't like the word artist as much as it's used, especially in this town, especially in life.

I'm an artist. So for me, when you say you're an artist, that means you got a trust fund. And your parents send your money every month, and you get to try different shit every month. That's what you're telling me. When somebody says artists, my ears always go up, and I look over at a coffee shop, because that's where I hear that way. Yeah, you just mentioned, yeah, when I think of an artist, I think of Van Gogh. Right. I sold one painting to his brother.

He wanted to his lifetime and cut his ear off. No, I think of if somebody refers to themselves as that, but I get the art, and I get what I'm doing is an art. And because of that, maybe I'm an artist. Because a stand-up is set up punchline, joke-telling, and storytelling. You know, I take that and I mix it around. That's the art. When you learn to play the bass.

But we learn to play instruments, so we can deliver a message. A message. There's a structure just like you have in your storytelling. Right. It's the same thing with a song. There's a structure to it. So there's, yes, so there's definitely an art to being a comedian, you know, because you're

telling a story, you're conveying, you're putting people in a state of hopefully happiness when you tell your jokes. And from the moment, there's a middle. I mean, there's a beginning, a middle, and an end to your act. So there's an artistry to it, just like being a musician. But I don't think you take it as seriously as a lot of these guys. No, no, no, no, no. No, I consider art.

Like, the first instrument I ever played was the bass. I learned the pastore music. You know, I didn't like the bass because it was boring as fuck until I watched you play it. Then I wanted to go sign up again. Do you understand me? Yeah. It's your, that's what I call a little artist. Your interpretation of what I just showed you.

There's a thousand front kicks. There's a thousand front kicks, but the way you throw it, that's your art. Well, it's because I went to a lot of shows in Miami, and I saw, Miami was really a unique place to play back in the 70s, because it was either the beginning of your tour or the end of the tour, because logistically, a lot of the bands that came from England, Europe and England, were come in and bring their equipment through the port, you know, Floridadale, Miami Port.

That's how they brought their gear, so they would either begin the tour there and they were rehearsed at the Sportarium for a week. And, you know, so you either saw the first show, which was really not the best of their tour, or you saw the last show, that traditionally the last show with English bands, they used to pull all these gags on each other.

They would, like, throw whipped cream and get ahead with eggs during the set and stuff like that. So either ways you were going to see a pretty shitty show because it was going to be the first show or the last show of the set. So I saw a lot of boring performances from a lot of guys that were really high because plus in addition to that was the drug capital all of the world at that time in the 70s, you know. So they were like high on blow, Heron or booze or all of them at the same time.

So I said, you know what? I never want to be one of these guys. You know, the guys that just stood up there and just were basically like, you know, mannequins on stage. Right. Blame because they were so high. Not because they were bad, but they were just so high at the time. Yeah. So that's why.

It's fucking crazy. See, for a long time, I thought they started a lot of tours in Philly. For years, I would look at the schedules, and I would see tours starting in Philly, and I thought it was because Philly is such a rough place to play. You want to get it out of the fucking way. That's what I always thought. I didn't know why, because I seen the stones in Philly,

and it was the first night of that door, and I sent ACDC at the Palladium, And there was the second night of their tour And they started in Philly So I'm like, oh, I never even thought Fucking bands played Miami and shit How hard is it to tour? Because I've been lucky enough to go with Joey

For a couple weekends And I'm not even performing But leaving on Thursday morning Coming back Sunday morning I don't know I'm exhausted Like I can't imagine Doing a month on a bus Going to radio

Do you do radio Or do you're just sleeping all day And then doing the show It's like It all depends the quality of people that you're touring with as human beings. If you can really have fun and really respect and vice versa, they respect to you, you could be playing the worst shitholes.

But if you really love the people and really love the music, it doesn't really matter where the conditions are. I've been in some great traveling conditions with some tours and people that I have not, I would just wish and couldn't wait for it to be over just because, you know, to me the most important thing is the quality of the people that you're touring with. really not the accommodations. Oh, you're right.

You're absolutely right. What was the most fun you had on the tour? No drugs. Just fucking guys getting together and jamming and, you know, yeah, you know, it's nothing helps to come close to the significance of the Blizzler of Oz DiRiffman and Madman tour with Randy and Ozzy. Well, actually, both, you know. Yeah, and Tommy.

Yeah, every night on stage was the Super Bowl. every single night, the quality, and of course, you know, we had the tragedy happen to us. I would say second would definitely be either Whitesnake or Deal, because I really love touring with Ronnie. Ronnie was, my God,

it was incredible. Wasn't he really from New Jersey? No, Cortland, New York, upstate New York. Well, you lived in New Jersey or something. Somebody said they stole him once in New Jersey. I'm like, come on. Yeah, I wouldn't doubt it,

because after Rainbow, he came. came back to the U.S. and lived in the Northeast, you know. And then he moved back to L.A. Then started Black Sabbath all of a sudden, you know, after that. It's funny because you talk about the Super Bowl or whatever. But on the other side of that, I still remember buying a cream magazine and reading how Black Sabbath had just broken up.

And it was fucking traumatizing. Like it was just traumatizing. I couldn't even think. Like, yeah, I like Led Zeppelin. Then once the journal from Led Zeppelin died, there was a point where I was just lost. You know, my mother had just died. The music and the reef, it was everything.

And all of a sudden, you know, Black Sabbath broke up. And I'm reading this Cream Magazine in February, freezing my ass off that they broke up. And all of a sudden, John Lennon gets shot. You know, and I go to Bleakabobs in the city, this fucking tremendous record store. and I find this EP by the Blizzard of Oz, and it's four songs maybe, you know.

Eighty-one, yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck? And listen to me, and I'm telling you guys, and I don't know the people I went with, I could call them right now and have them call in. You know, this was everything to us. Well, you probably got the UK pressing. The U.K. first.

I got the four songs first. That was in 1980 because in 81, that's when they actually released. Blizzard. Blizzard in the States. So it was John, and got shot December 8th, December. So it was December or whatever.

When I went to the city, they were doing something at Strawberry Fields, whatever. I didn't go that way. I went into the village. In fact, what did I go see? No, no, I was a different year. I went to the village and I got that EP. I just found it by mistake. It wasn't that I was looking for it.

Oh, I knew about it. And then in Clipside Park, New Jersey is a place called Things from England. They're still... Steve. It's Steve Lang. Steve Lang. They're still... There.

In fact, you've seen it. It's next to Rudy's. Oh, okay. It's fucking Rudy. It's up the block. Well, the guy who won the place, Steve Lang, he passed away a few years ago. Really? It was a really good friend of my brother, Robert and me.

He's still open. It's still open. I think that's where I bought the Aussie tickets. That's where I would buy everything, because he always used to buy a block for himself. Yeah. So he'd tell you, if you're in a bind, come up here, I'll try to hook you up. I know friends. Great guy.

Great guy. This is fucking crazy. But I just said that. Things from England. I bought so many things there. I bought so many like UK releases there. You know, as a child, like anything from UFO. I bought tons of shit, even if there's $20 more than the regular hour.

I tell them to put it away to the side. There was no fucking layaway there. You just looked them in the eye and said, dog, put that away. I'll be here Sunday. If you're not here Sunday, by one, I'll sell it. He'd sell it. Things from fucking England. That's amazing.

How has, or do you think that world still exists? Because now with digital, like, people just go online and buy it. Like, does that even still exist to go to a store and find that CD? I find that people usually download stuff that they will never buy anyways. If you're going to buy something, it's because you're a collector and your heart is into it. So you're going to buy it. I talk to a lot of kids and they say, you know, I just download it because I want to see what is all about. And they're really not into it.

They're kids. They didn't grow up with that music. They're stealing music that they didn't. grow up with it so they don't have any emotional connection with it. To them it's just like, let me check this out. It's like us listen to the radio, you know, and they would not buy it anyways. But even with like, even if they are buying it on iTunes, like, it's not like going to that record store and just, what is this record?

Well, first of all, it's a digital download. It's never going to sound as good as an actual LP is with the right equipment, you know. So, yeah, there's pros and cons about it. I mean, of course, you know, we've gotten used to hearing certain things. Like, I have a couple of phonograph systems at home, you know, LP play. I never. The last time I did it, play a record. I couldn't even remember the last time I played her in actual.

You had albums? Yeah. Yeah. And you've never taken one out and put it out? No. Well, let me tell you the flip side of that. The flip side of it, as a fan, as a real fan, as a fucking. fan of the music, there's nothing like going home, putting the album on, and reading that album.

To me, that was an hour of my day, with tears in my eyes, the whole fucking time. I'd be listening to that album, reading the cover, thank you to the Cheritons. You know, I didn't give a fuck. I knew the recording engineers, I knew the tour managers, because there was nothing like opening up an album and taking the poster out. And there was David Lee Roth on Valham Halen, too, and I ripped it up. that cuck suck. It was chain like that. I didn't like it. But the point is, the point is that there was something

about that. When I download a, you know, a white snake on my iPod, that's it. That's it. The mysticism, the whole thing about the music, to be strictly honest with you, I bought sabotage next to the Wingfong Chinese restaurant used to have a little music store,

North Bergen, New Jersey. I remember that you couldn't wait to get home with this fucking album. And let me tell you, And let me tell you something. You had a better chance of stabbing my mother in the neck than taking this fucking album from me or than looking at this album. Because while it had the paper on it, nobody was going to look at this fucking album.

Let me see it. No, there's nothing to see. No way on it. I think Oulu. You don't got to see nothing here. Come over later after I listen to it. I'm going to look at this album first. You take it home, there was nothing like taking that album out,

putting it on. And if it was a thing that album, you roll the joint in there. People say that today, they still go to old album places. And they open it up and they see seeds and hour. albums and shit because that's what you did. You cleaned your seeds out. The seeds would roll. And then you'd roll your joint, you'd smoke it and you'd read the fucking album. And you listened to the album two or three times. Then you went out and talked shit about the album. There was no internet to fucking go on and say Rudy's album is good or to, oh, it's

tremendous. There was no commercials in the 70s that said, get white, no. It was word a mouth. You went to the basketball court, dog. I got the new fucking rainbow album. Oh shit. Oh shit. gotta borrow you ain't borrowing shit bitch stop being so cheap go buy a fucking album you know that's how it was that's the they've removed that even if i buy your fucking DVD i open it up and it's a sheet of paper they don't even have that anymore no i want to see something read me something give me the lyrics to the song give me something you know i tell people that the whole if you open up in through the outdoor let zeppelin's last album you take the album out the fucking sleeve you get a sponge sponge and you squeeze that sponge

and you go like that and all of some of the pills and everything will pop up to life. They're all different colors. They did things to make you if you open up some... Yeah, there were like four different versions. Four different versions. Yeah, yeah. If you opened up some girls, some girls was brilliant. Yeah. By the stones because you moved the heads.

Yeah. So it was all these advertising for wigs and you moved the faces of the stones. Yeah. Led Zeppelin 3 was a thing you spun around inside the album. Yeah. How much would an album cost? $7.99. 899

This fucking 20 million That's unheard of It was about the fans It was about them Everybody made a little bit of fucking money Everybody made a little bit of money Everybody was fucking happy Well record companies made a lot

He made a lot of money I spent $20 for him and Ozzy Osbourne $25 at the Palladium I paid $1550 For Pink Floyd the Wall in 1980 At Nassau Coliseum Why would I give you $2.50 And go to fucking

the Hollywood Bowl to sit there like a mutton when people would kill themselves when people were fans of the music fans I mean when you're on stage you fucking cried you fucking cried you were like god damn

I'm here that's what it was like I don't see that anymore when I'm not young anymore you know the only place I see that and I'm not a fan of the music but like you know those like boy bands like One Direction

and like how those young girls are with like those kind of bands so is that kind of good I mean, in a way? Nah, you're talking about the Beatles with chicks are jumping up and down and yelling and fainting. I'm talking about guys going to see,

you know, at the end of Almost Famous when she goes off on the fucking kid, she goes off on the guy. She says a beautiful fucking speech about the fans. It was about the fucking fans, man. It was a beautiful thing. When you went to these shows, it was the biggest thing in mind.

Going to see you at the Palladium, was the biggest thing in my world. When I found out you were Cuban, you gave me hope, man. I knew I could do something in my life. I didn't have to stab people or sell nickelbacks in the Indian City, you know. You know, I've been a fan longer than I've been a professional musician. And there will come a day that I will stop being in professional musician because, you know, it would be too freaking old to be doing this.

But I can guarantee you, I'll never stop being a fan. I'm a fan, I can't believe it. I couldn't be a musician if I was not a fan. It would be impossible. How can you be a musician if you're not a fan of what you risk everything in life for? When I go see a band and I listen to songs, I'm watching them. I'm thinking about all the effort that wanted to put. And that's how I felt when I was 15.

When I was 15, I knew the effort that it took to do that because I wasn't doing it. I tried singing in the shower when I failed. never mind I knew the effort I don't know why but not only the effort but look at the sacrifices because you know it's I'm not I'm not making stuff up here I'll give you an example black Sabbath and I'm gonna give you information that came down to me from from Ozzie

you know stuff that it would sit around in the bus talking about you know they were kids they were kids who one day they went to a theater saw a scary movie and figure out hey if we can make music that is scary as what the movie that we saw were onto something. So they went from being called Earth, to being called Black Sabbath. That was like, okay, we're going to be scary.

So they started creating scary music and scary theme. There were still kids out of Birmingham in England. They were trying to find a way how to get out of that, not have to be in the factory. You know how Tony Oyomi lost his finger? This is what Ozzy told me. He was working at a factory with his dad, one of those press machines.

it jumped his finger off, you know, off. And his father took him to the emergency, and the doctor said, listen, you know, I can attach the finger. And the father said, how long would that take to heal? And he said, well, it's going to be a few weeks. And his father said, how about if we just leave it off and say, oh, yeah, he can go back to work immediately. That was the decision, deciding factor of him, not having the full finger and having

to have a whatever, you know, little plastic thing. But then again, it changed the sound of music. he would have never sound the same with the full hand. You know what I mean? It just changed everything. So out of that came this new sound, this Black Sabbath sound. You know, he played a different way. And we started connecting emotionally with it, right?

Meanwhile, these guys were managed, the manager that they had in those days, they never saw any money. They just would put him on the road. Arden. No, this is before Don. Wow. The original guy. before done.

It's just like if, let's say if you were Ozzy and you went to the offense and say, hey, listen, I haven't seen any money, you know, we just got off the road. The guy would open the drawer, pull out some keys and said, yeah, you see the Cadillac? Yeah, it's yours. Now, they weren't aware that they were already paying for that Cadillac anyways, but that was kind of like, okay, well, I got something out of any guy who just leave. Meanwhile, all these guys were making money, money that the musicians never saw. And they just kept them on the road, kept them.

You know, I've worked with some people in the industry that they make you think that you're working for management. No, the band hires the manager. The manager at any time you say, listen, you guys take a hike. You know, there's going to be some contracts and certain things that you're going to owe them, just like in any industry, whether if you're a comedian or an actor, you have a certain management agreement. And, you know, the guy is taking you so far in your career. and then you, you know, you disconnect from that person, but still you owe them, you know, some royalties or whatever.

It's the same thing in music. But in music, they always made you feel like, oh, you guys are nothing with us managers, you know, which was not the case. So they always kept things away from you. They never allowed you to hang out with the record company people. If they, you know, you and the record company people, no, no, no. They had to be there to make sure that they were,

the buffer they were the the filter for you to get to the record company because if they figure if you realize that you really don't need these guys they're done they don't have a job so they always make it look like oh yeah well you know we're gonna keep you guys on the road uh do you need anything like some pot some some some cocaine okay oh i'll send you some on the road and that's how bands you know were treated back then before they got smart nowadays it's very rare that you see that happen to any band. Well, when you are a musician, the ego was built by money.

You know, a sting didn't fucking get up and leave one day. When they were three little dirty kids playing music, everybody was in love. It's when money gets involved that it makes, it breaks up bands. And when you're just a kid, you're just excited to be playing Rudy Sarzo

in front of people in a garage. Who the fuck are you kid? If I gave you $10 in a joint, really? And I gave you a bed. That's a lot better than you were doing at home. So, I mean, I just want to do, when I first started doing comedy, I just want to do comedy. You know when I hate comedy?

Now, when I got to deal with money, I wish I didn't have to deal with money. I would love comedy. That's when this is great. It's when money starts coming in that people, egos, attitudes get shitty, what the fuck, you know. I just watched that documentary again about the Eagles. You know, they went to them one day and said, this is us three, we're making all the money, and you're sitting at home, and you don't get no money. I can't see that either.

I can't see that either. Us five guys, we're banned, but you're not giving me all the money. And I wrote the fucking riff to Hotel California. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I'm a paid salary. So that's one thing that's complicated about the band

that I would have shot everybody in the band. Now I know why, you know, it's tough. That's tough. The money thing is very tough. Yeah, and it's the manager's job or whoever is in charge of being the counselor for the musicians where it could be a lawyer because a lot of bands actually have a lawyer

and rather than to have a management that they have to give them a commission. It's up to these individuals to be the clear heads because clear heads will prevail in a situation like that. Rarely do you see it happen. Rarely the powers that be side with whoever has the most power within the band, whether it's the guy who wrote the songs

or the guy who was the most popular has the biggest fan base or anything like that. Rarely do you see somebody coming in and saying, listen, guys, let's sit down and make this and work this out. Because once, to be honest with you, in a certain situation, I've tried to be that guy and with not much success, but at least I knew that I couldn't go to sleep if I just let it fall apart without me trying to be reasonable and say, listen, what do we work this out? You know, and of course, it did not get worked out.

But nevertheless, yeah, people, it's people like that that really, make a difference because, again, thinking of the fan, as a fan, if I grew up with certain bands and once they start changing the personnel, you know, the band members, it wasn't the same band anymore. I wasn't into the band anymore because it was kind of like, I grew up with lifers and teams like Mickey Mantle was a Yankee his whole life, you know, Bobby Richardson, all these guys, Tony Kubic. It wasn't like they were, you know, they were with Yankees today and then they were with Boston the next year and stuff like that. I truly believe in people who are members of a group for, you know, for their entire career. And this is coming

from a guy who's played with many bands. But it was never my intention to do that. It's just happened. But ideally, yeah, I would have rather be just one band. Of course. I don't have any aspirations of moving forward or, you know, moving on to something else when I first started doing this? No, of course not. I've been married for over 33 years now. 30, 31 years. You know, so I wish I would have had the same

type of music career, you know, for life. Same five guys. Same five guys. Let's say somebody passes on, like it happened with Brian Jones, even though Brian Jones was out of the band, you know, by the time, you know, and then he passed away.

But, you know, things like that. You know, just the same five guys, you know. four guys, whatever. And yeah, that was my intention. I think about a band like Led Zeppelin, who had nine albums. These are guys that were, you know, they had problems, they had drug problems,

the singer lost a kid. There were problems there. How many bands today do you see with nine albums? None, I don't know. How many? How many fucking bands? Bad company had a couple of albums, too. Seven or eight albums.

Yeah, yeah. You don't see bands like that. No. The Beatles had 90 fucking albums. I mean, yeah, Tony Bennett's got 60 albums, but he's by himself. Yeah. Every once in a while he duets with Lady Gaga's, some shit. But besides that, you know, it's, I've always been a fan of bands and music and what comes along.

Like I said, I would love, I would be that guy that just rolls joints on the fucking tour, like when the Stones did something in Jamaica or something, just to see the process. Do you write your own music, Rudy? Yeah, I do. And how is the process from A to the album? I mean, how does that work? It's you by yourself. Well, it's a matter of writing the music

and then convincing everybody else that it should go on the record, which is the toughest part of them all. Yeah, because if you're not the singer, the singer is going to gravitate towards the music that they write. Because it just makes sense. It's like telling a singer, sing this melody, it's like a singer telling me play this bass part. You know what I mean?

So you're getting into their territory. So the second best thing you can do is to actually collaborate with the guys or the singer. Because again, you're going to have vocals and you're going to have melody, vocal melodies and lyrics in the song. So you can actually collaborate with the singer and let him come up with whatever he feels comfortable or the message that they're going to deliver,

then you're on the right track. Is that like the hardest part, do you think? Because I know, I used to be an editor in TV, and I hated, even though you can't really admit it because it's part of being professional, but I hated when I would come up with something, and then a producer would come in and say, oh, I don't like that.

So, like, let's say you were pitching your song and they wanted to change it or they didn't like it. Like, that feeling must be terrible. It's like the worst, I would imagine it's the worst. Yeah, it's one of those things that you have to just, leave your ego out and just understand what's best for the for the big picture no matter how screwed up the big picture might be you know you just go with you know a lot of times you got to go with the flow you know of the end of the

individuals and it's it's tough it's tough it's like you imagine you trying to what you're gonna be doing tomorrow night three other guys and you're gonna talk them into like okay this just You tell this only joke and you do it this way. Can you imagine that? It's a pain in the ass. I was watching the James Brown. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Did you watch it? Mr. Dynamite with Mick Jagger when he talks to Mick Jagger. No, not the movie. The one, the documentary, it's playing now on HBO. No, no, they know that. Oh, yeah. You haven't seen it with Mick Jagger?

No. And they told Mick Jagger that in 1965, Mick Jagger was watching James Brown on the sidelines. They were doing the show together. And I guess the Stones were headlining it. James Brown wanted to kill him because he wanted the headline. He couldn't understand. They're like, it's a TV show.

But they said when James Brown went on the state, went on the stage, that Mick Jaggers in the sidelines traumatized and in shock. Yeah. From why. And they showed. Did you see it? I saw. They had that scene in the movie that just came out and like James Brown was like,

follow that. Welcome to America. He blew them off stage. Oh my God. And that's when Mick Jagger says that's bullshit. He goes, as a matter of. In fact, it was a different audience. They had came in and changed the sound.

The band, it was bullshit. It was a complete different audience. I don't know why they said that. He goes, yes, his performance was they showed it. If you watch the documentary, they showed the Stones, and they showed James Brown. And James Brown just took it to a different fucking level altogether. And they showed Mick Jagger putting it together, but no, he didn't. Well, you have James Brown, who's the real deal,

and then you got a bunch of white kids from England. who were influenced by James Brown and all the blues players and all of that. So you have like second generation. But just like Elvis and all the other white artists could, they could actually relate to the white kids better than, you know, an Afro-American musician could. Even though those African-American musicians were brilliant. Oh, they were the best. Really?

The best. The best. The best. Nothing came close. No. It's the real deal. Listen, David Ruffin, from The Temptations to me, has one of the greatest voices of all time. The problem with him with drugs, too, and he was fucking crazy.

But the temptations, you know, and they were all from Jersey. Like, they were all, like, if you really look into it, all those labels, all those kids were from Jersey. And I heard those songs, and I forget to want this magic moment, that guy's voice. I don't know who's saying that. Or Jay and the Americans, Jay Black. Are you fucking kidding me?

That is just, are they black? Well, the only thin black about him is his last name. Tony Bennett, cock, duck. We do this every Monday. It's my mother's favorite song when they came from Cuba. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart. as I

What's up, Coxsucker? Nothing. Let me give some shout out to you. My man, like I said, Greg and Lynn, thank you very much coming to the show and give me the end both. They're going to mail something for you, Lee. They have something for you.

Oh, thank you. Again, thank you very much for the special gift from my daughter. Nathan, James Turner. I love you, Coxucker. Ahmad Al-Amed, Stay Black. Mitchell Convey, Derek Jewel, Cleo, happy birthday.

You know, we love you here. Mr. Whiskey, you're a bad motherfucker. Amy, XPDJ, I love you, buddy. Brandy Lynn. Hang in there, you dirty bitch. Now, what's the Project Rock? Talk to me about Project Rock. Oh, Project Rock.

Well, now it's being rebranded as something else. But it was just basically a bunch of friends, you know, guys that I know from other bands, like Tim Ripper Owens. You know, he was in Judas Priest when Alford was out of the band. And as a matter of fact, you know, that movie Rockstar was based on his story. You know, he did an interview with some journalist and some magazine,

and somebody took the story of him being just a kid that replaced his superstar, you know, Rob Hoffer from Giuse. And, you know, from a sudden he went from a tribute band to actually being in the real band, and they made a movie out of that story. So, but he's an incredible singer. And then, you know, guys like Teddy ZigZag who play with Guns N'Roses, keyboard player, and James Cotag drummer from Scorpions and Kerry Kelly who played with the House Cooper. And we would just go to Russia, deep, deep, deep into Russia, Siberia, Kanchaca, you know, whatever, you know,

not what's considered San Francisco and L.A., which is St. Petersburg and Moscow. We really went in deep in there. And just bring music to the fans. You know, these are, we're talking about what, it's been 20, 25 years since the fall of the Berlin Wall, you know. And this is a whole different Russia. You know, forget about Putin and all the conflicts going on, you know, politically. Let's talk about the people. People are just fantastic.

And they love America music and they love rock and roll. And one of the things, the reason why they love it is because it was the music that were not allowed to watch. There were no rock performers during the... Cold War or music. You know, it was all clandestine, you know. You have to, like, you know, go in a basement, listen to the music with your headphones and all of that, you know. Yeah, you made sacrifices.

A lot of people went to jail, went to Siberia, because of, you know, embracing American music. And one of the things that I found was really interesting was, and I noticed this because, you know, being from Cuba, I was exposed to Afro-Cuban music. Afro being the keyword. Then when I came to the United States, I started listening to blues. Then I was exposed to African blues, you know, where it comes from.

And I'm going, my goodness, this music, Latin music and blues come from the same place, Africa. You know, and they brought here through, you know, the slaves. I don't know. You know, it's a terrible period, you know, in history, but that's how we're going to be. that's how we got our American music, you know, through that. One of the things you have to take into consideration is that the slaves in the Caribbean were allowed to play their percussion instruments because, you know, they were in Spanish plantations, you know, whereas the plantations in the United States, outside of Louisiana, which was French, they were not allowed to use their percussion instruments. So they, as a way to survive their sacrifice, you know, the hardships of working in the fields, they would sing, you know. And if you listen to Cuban music and the blues, it's all one, four, five progressions, you know, it's the same format, you know.

And I'm looking at it and saying, wow, how rich are the music of the United States is. you know, that came out of this terrible, terrible times in our history, you know, through slavery. And I think about not only that as, but, you know, us as individuals, when we go through bad times, you know, if you look at a diamond, it's because it's being compressed. we get our lives become compressed and the ones that can actually survive that compression we at the end of it we come up like diamonds so if you listen to American music you listen to the blues you listen to jazz all of that

it was a culture a people that were compressed the hard that their lives were so hard that at the end of it, the diamond that came out was actually music. American music. It's the most true form of American music that there is. Jazz, rock and roll, blues, R&B, gospel, you know, the soulful gospel that we know, where singers such as Aretha Franklin came from and so on. and this is something that the rest of the world does not have in common with us.

If you go to Russia, there's no African artists that have that influence in them. You know what I mean? It's not part of their culture. So when they listen to the blues, they're hearing something that, yes, it's about hope and faith. Because that's what's happening in the field when they were working under such conditions. the hope and the faith that someday all of this was going to end, and they were going to lead better lives. That is universal, and you can hear in the music,

and you can hear it even really in the music, in the notes that are being played, all the pentatonic blues scales and riffs and everything that comes through with that music. And when you take that to a country, such as Russia, that had their own period of hope and faith through music to be able to survive their lives, lives, they connect with it in a way that even most of Americans today can not connect with, because right now we're connecting with electronic music, music created by computers.

That's our reference. That's our connection. We are losing soul. We're losing our connection with our heart and our soul, or spirituality even. Because if you listen to blues and jazz, it's very spiritual. music because that's where it came from. Spirituality. So then, again, going back to Russia, one of the things that I learned from traveling there is that all of these dictators, communist dictators they had, they were smart enough not to interfere with their faith. They knew

that they could not fight God. So they let them, they turned like a blind eye to it and They just let them keep their churches and keep their faith. And so when you travel through all these little towns, the most beautiful, ornate buildings well kept is the actual church, the local church. You know, they're very spiritual people, very, it reminds me of Cubans. You know, it's like this very tight-knit culture. People really relate to each other. They help each other out, and they're very communication.

with each other. You blew my mind. Sometimes people blow my mind. You blow my mind with that one. You just brought it up. What is your position on electronic music, like sampling and all that that's going on right now? You know, any form of expression,

it's, I mean, if a human being can come out with, like, you know, making music with farts and it sells and people go for it, I'm not going to judge that. But to me, what really moves me, really touches what makes the hairs in my arm, you know, stand, it's when it touches my soul. And so far, you know, electronic music doesn't do that to me. But then again, you know, you're talking about events. EDM, they're very popular with the type of people who are looking after a certain experience, you know, and most of that happens to be, you know, they're

induced by some kind of chemical. you know, yeah, it is what it is. I'm not making this up, you know, and ecstasy or whatever. So it is an event. It's a social, cultural event. And, you know, to be honest with you, if I would have known 40 years ago

that I could actually get a laptop and go up there and make millions of dollars, the hell with playing the base. It's a good way to look at it. I don't even know what electronic music is. Well, from what I... How bad am I? How bad are my people?

Sorry, I just don't even know what it is. I don't know what it sounds like. I don't know if it sounds the same. I think there's a difference, because I know Russell Peters gets mad about it. There's a difference between some people go and grab old records and get loops and create music with actual old music. But then I think some of these other electronic music people are just like solely with their computer.

They're not going and actually finding the loops. It's kind of like what you were talking about. When you were talking about the engineers and the ones who really know what they're doing, I really like that because I'm a very techy person and I would love to go see an old engineer in the old studio not with the computer but with like the actual analog material who actually knows what he's doing. So like a great DJ who can go and pick up a record and mix it together

and make her sound really awesome. I like that but then again I understand like the dislike of just going on the computer and basically mashing it together. Yeah, you know and this is sort of an art to that. Yeah. Basically because, you know, music, music, it's supposed to move you. It's supposed to affect you, you know, emotionally and put you in a certain state.

And if electronic music can do that to a human being, there you go. The individual has accomplished that. What it's missing to me in electronic, you know, EDM, electronic dance music, it's the message. And I think since there is no message, the individual can create their own message rather than to hear a song and even do there might be certain metaphors. You know, I mean, I know that there's writers that don't realize what their song is about, but there is a message in there that becomes your message. But then when music is delivered that intentionally there is no message whatsoever, then you're forced to create it. yourself. And this, to me, is what EDM does. It's a you fill in the blanks as a human being. How is this music touching you? What are you getting out of it? You know, how's it making you feel?

Which is the most important thing about music, especially if you under ecstasy. Those events are huge. They're like 100,000 people, you know, old, you know. You know, when that stuff came up, I was a little older, long in the tooth. You know, I would go to more, I would go to more concerts now. Last week, Ray Canella, my friend came from Jersey. I had a band in the sixth grade. We had a band. We played the Beatles' help from beginning to end. That's all we did. We lip synced. Then we went loose. We do a Janet Jackson. We'd start off with the album, and then we played live. And he went to see Judas Priest. And I called him next day, How Were They? And he loved him. He loved the new guitarist. He loved the KK. Doug.

Greg Tipton, I think KK's gone. And he said, Halford sounds. great, the whole thing, and I love all that stuff. And it's weird that I would go to that every other night. But it's such a fucking pain in the ass, Rudy. You know, I think when I was a kid, it was easier. When I was younger, I would take the train and you drank some beers.

But I've got to tell you, the importance of that. And I had an experience recently. Back in 1983, Quiet Riot opened up for Judas Priest in England. So I got to watch him every single night, spectacular.

Spectacular. Then you forget. You forget, you know, life goes on, you know. And then recently, the whole band, Judas Priest, did a rock and roll fantasy camp. And Halfer, you know, he had just had some back surgery and stuff like that. He was taking it easy. I'm going to tell you, when these guys, the real deal opened their mouth, and we were just talking about James Brown.

Well, you know, Rob Halfer in the metal world, he is the real world. he is the real deal. When he opened his mouth and he sings, he's like, I don't care who's in a tribute band who's doing this and that. It is only one Rob Half. And there's something about it, everything. Yeah, let me rephrase that.

It's not something. Everything about his singing, his voice, is the real deal. And he does stuff that you have never heard or probably might never hear anybody else do. It's so, he's like nobody else. And what's going to happen is someday, hopefully not soon, but eventually, just like many other voices, like I work with, you know, Ronnie James Deal, another incredible voice, one of a kind, they're no longer with us. Maybe because he's still

alive, but he cannot perform anymore or decides not to perform anymore. So to me, any time that any of these artists, the real deal comes around. You got to go. You got to go. Because it's not only might be the last time, but it's a reminder. You must remind yourself of what the real deal really is all about, what it sounds like, what it looks like. And you have to hear it for yourself, right there in person. I've heard a lot of comedians say they don't like going to see other comedians because they don't want to get influenced and steal a joke.

Or, by mistake, copy a joke or just be influenced. Do you still go see music? I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I must. I must. And it doesn't really seem like it's that big of an issue in music to be influenced by other musicians. It seems like everybody is and it's not as bad as like joke stealing.

You should be influenced by everybody. Absolutely. Everybody has something that's so unique about them. Truly, if you're dealing, especially the real deal guys. Yeah, I mean, you know. guys that might not even be known for like being fast or whatever or heavy. Oh boy, yeah. Maybe it's the groove, the pocket.

You have to have a groove to your plane. You know, otherwise there's this is bullshit. Steve Villo, a dear friend of mine, put children of the grave on my Facebook page the other night from 1974 at the California Jam. I was listening to this morning. This morning. What is the name of it? Children of the grave,

1974, California Jam. First of all, Ozzy Osbourne was Ozzy. It was John Osbourne. Yeah. That's when he was John Osbourne. I was actually watching the video this morning. Because somebody posted it. That's what happened.

Yeah, Stephen Villal posted it. My buddy from Jersey posted it. And I sat there and watched that. And I was fucking blown the fuck away. It's 1974. No high-level technology shit. This is just four fucking guys. How fucking crazy is Giza.

It's like the daytime, too. Yeah, that's when they did concerts. California, Jay. Look at the people, the amount of people. What do you clock at that? How many people are there? It's like a whole, it looks like Woodstock. How about your hundred thousand?

Ontario? Yeah. Ontario, California. And we did the, we did the Us Festival in 83. That was $350,000. So that must have been about $175, $200. Just amazing. And then they have another one of them doing something

on Don Curse's rock concert or Midnight Special. Yeah. Them, a Black Sabbath. And there's two guys with matching shirts just losing their fucking head. It's mine. I love all that stuff. So it's called Black Sabbath Children of the Grave of 1974, California.

Yeah. But then again, you know, when Black Sabbath came around, last year, I went to see them at the Esporatorium. How were they? The real deal again. Actually, I thought they were better than I've ever seen Ozzy and the guys, because I play with Ozzy,

and then about the following year, with Quiet and Right, we opened up for Black Sabbath on their unborn, was that, the, 1983. They had the, like, the little devil born again. Born again, born again. With Ian Gillen on vocals here. Did you go see it?

You went to see them this last time? Yeah. Phenomenal. Everybody said they were phenomenal. Just phenomenal. Everybody said. Phenomenal. Better than, I mean, better than I've ever seen them.

You know, everybody talks about John Gotti and I think the baddest motherfucking guinea ever is Tony I owe me. I say I love him. I love him. Let me read the sponsors and I'll get you the hell out of it. Listen, man, it's always, the problem with you, I don't have 10 hours. I wish I had 10 hours, you know, because I consider you the real deal. You're the fucking... You're too, my friend.

And I was looking at... Me, Amano. Me, Amano and shit. And it's crazy that we have, you know, the Cuban thing between us, because I love it. It makes me... And today I met another... Today I went to Jiu-Jitsu.

Yeah. And I get it, and some kid comes right over, and he goes, Como time, my man, Dudo Feudel. You know, and I go, you have... Because Feebles, that's like a weird Cuban name. I go, you have family in Denner. And he goes, yeah, how'd you know?

I go, I hang out with Danny. He goes, oh, my God, my uncle's got cancer. We started talking. And more and more, he goes, I listen to the podcast, and then he's a fireman. He talked on the way out. He gave me a Dick Van Dyke book. He knows that I learned how to speak English when I came from Cuba watching Dick Van Dyck. That was my shot.

I learned to speak English. And he gave me the book, and he goes, this is for you, for all the excitement. You bring me on the podcast. He goes, one of the things I was coming to see was you do Jiu-Jitsu. He goes, so I brought my suit just hopefully you were here and you came. and I just felt good. We were talking Spanish for a couple minutes. You know, I got the Cuban pulled out of me when my mother died.

And I didn't have it again. I didn't have it again for like five years. And now I'm way deep in it again. I'm way deeper than I am. My uncle called last night. My uncle that did the podcast for us, he's 76. And he goes, I made up my fucking mind. But he said all this in Spanish.

Yasaka-a-u. I'm taking you, your wife, the kid, my daughter, the boys, everybody were going to Cuba. summer. He goes, get your passport notice. So now I got to get my passport in order. At least to go to Cuba. They won't let me go to Canada. But I got to go. We're going to go as a family.

We're going to go as one big fucking. We're taking a Jew with us too. What do you think? You think he'd come back. If he went crazy out with that cloqueto. That's where the Jewish community was in Cuba. Los Polaco, you know, Los Polaco. Yeah. Yeah. They, you know, they arrive in Havana, you know, from

World War II, you know, running away from from Hitler, Poland. There you go, bro. Really? There's some Jews in Cuba? You're kidding? Shit. Wow. If you go to South Beach, there's like

temples everywhere. You know, Cuban Jewish temples. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So you might have to go down there with us, Doug. We're going to Cuba. I'm down.

We're going. First podcast ever from Cuba. First podcast era from Cuba. Have you been Rudy since then? And you don't ever want to... Let's see. I checked this morning. We're still a communist country.

So you won't go even to perform like these people. No. You know, my mom and dad. Never went back. They went back to visit my grandmother and never went back. But, you know, it's, they sacrifice so much to bring my brother and me over here. You know, so they've always expressed their, not us wanting to go back, you know, my brother and me. So I respect their wishes.

How's your brother doing? You're doing good. You and your brother in a band now for the first time? Well, we did. We toured it when, you know, with this Jeff Tate, uh, quills. Queens Wright. And it was fun, a lot of fun. You know, we haven't toured together. Actually, we had never toured together. We played together in Miami a lot and then later on in New Jersey. But we had never been in a national touring band before or international because we actually got to play in Brazil. And so it was definitely a lot of fun. And you're looking in the next tour with Queenswright, Jeff Tate. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's being rebranded as Operation Mind Crime.

So I don't have the timeline of what things are going to be happening in the near future. Do you still sing sound liquidity? Or you're not like to sing that one. Who, Jeff? The new band, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful song. Okay, so we could do it. Okay.

Because I thought they had the same Pink Floyd thing going on. Like Jeff Tate's Queens, right, can't do the old queen. No, no, no. I think they have something to do with Operation Mine Crime that he does, Operation Mine Crime, and Empire. or something and whatever. You just don't give a fuck. You're like me. You just show up.

No, because, you know, it has nothing to do with me. Nothing at all. I always tell lately, he asked me a quag. I don't know, because I don't even get involved. I just know this. I keep it simple. If it had to do with me, yes, I would get involved, but it has nothing to do with me.

You're a fucking great guy, man. I love just having you around. You ate the croquetta. I went to Mambo. He picked them some cheese. Did you like them? The picadillo, excellent. like it too. I like the piccadillo from them. I'm telling

my wife got the shredded beef. I liked it. It was okay, but it wasn't my mother's. My mother really doped up with the olives and shit. But this piccadio is okay. Basita. Basita, the raisins. My mom used to make that Piccadillo dish, which is chop meat, basically.

It's sloppy Joe for Cubans. It's a sloppy Joe, but she boiled the fries. The little potatoes and then fry them with, oh my God, and the meat with olives stop in the couple raisers. with some white rice. Stop and a fucking Matheba.

I almost brought you a Matabba. And Edonbele. That's a Cuban soda. Matabba's a Cuban soda. And iron beer is the other one. Have you had iron beer? I haven't had it, but I've seen it. He's seen it at the house, the guy with the muscle and shit.

He don't bet. Iron beer. You don't bet. Yeah. We were talking about all those Cuban words like Nietzsche. Nietzsche means a black dude, but now you can't say it no more. But Nietzsche has even called himself Nietzsche's, you know, in Cuba. It was wide open.

They called themselves Nietzsche. And you call them like China, like all the Chinese. Chino is Chinese. Whether they're Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Cambodian. They all fall into the one Cuban thing. Chino. It's one of China. I'm pa.

Papa, it's hollabalabal. They're Chinese. Whatever. And if they're Arabs, no matter what, Ara'aiki. Whether they're from Turkey or not from Ara'aweki. That's just the way it is. Let me give a shout out to my main motherfuckers. We're on it.

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It's a cigar. It tastes great. Does it smell, Rudy? No, no. Did you smell it? This is what I'm talking about. This is tremendous. You go to Vegas.

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They come in different flavors, and, but this is the baddest motherfucker they have, the cigar. Is that electric coheba? It's an electric coheba. They get the smoke from Fidel's bad breath, and they put it in here and shit like that. Also, to my main brother.

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West New York, Cubans. West New York. West New York and the motherfucking house. Rudy Sarza, I want you to, I want to figure out how you get your schedule to me so we can put it up there. so we can talk about you.

When the schedules come close to the United States, maybe we can meet in the city. It would be awesome. I think of Cuban food in Minnesota. They got to Cuban food. You get to Miami much? I was just there about a month ago. Tremendous, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, just to see my folks, you know. Tremendous. Yeah, it's great. I went three weeks ago, but I watched the other night in the hotel room and watch Anthony Bourdain layover in Miami. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, Rudy. He went to some tremendous places, but he talked to, The most interesting, he talked to some Cuban fishermen that were Cuban, and after the revolution, they came up here and they continued to do the same thing. So all their buddies, their Cuban buddies, they just fish all day and bring the same fish to the same restaurant. And whatever they have.

Like some days they have bagu, some days they were saying all the fish names in Spanish. I was getting goosebumps. I love all that stuff. You know, last time I went to Miami, I realized something, Rudy, that... And you can't, you can't because of what we do. But if you're Spanish at one point, you've got to live in Miami for a month or two. Just a, it was different. I know some people don't like it.

My mother didn't like it. My mother didn't want to be around a bunch of crying Cuban. She said, but this last time when I went, you pull over on the streets and they're drinking coffee and you go and they ask you if you want a cup, they invite you to a cup for a quarter, whatever it is. And it's just, I like that. I like that thing.

I like that thing. It's not Starbucks. And Starbucks, everybody's on their fucking computers. Look, who's trying to be the smartest one in the fucking room? In Miami, nobody was trying to be the smartest. one in the room. They were just trying to coexist, man. Yeah. And I hadn't been around that in a long time, and I really, really enjoyed it. So that's why. You know, I grew up there and thank God, you know, my mom and dad are still with us.

But it's a, you know, and they're almost 90. You know, there's that last generation, even though I was born in Cuba, you know, but we're talking about the last generation that actually left Cuba with their children and sacrifice everything that they had to give their children a better life, you know, in freedom, you know, because after all, that's what we came here for. You know, everybody had jobs over there. It just doesn't matter of like, you know, things got screwed up when communism came in and took everything away, you know. So all the sacrifices, and it's that generation, you know, and it's, it's a bit sad because they never, like in my parents' case, they thought they was just going to be like, you know, we're going to be here in

Miami for a few months and then go back to Havana, you know, because they left our place, just like we were going up for the weekend. You know, everything stayed because we couldn't give any of our belongings to our relatives because, you know, the Comite de Defense, you know, the Defense Committee, people were like Chivatiad, you know, they were like tell us on us. And we, you know, we basically had to sneak out of our house in order to get to the airport and get dressed in somebody else's place so that our neighbor didn't see us like, hey, what, Because back in the day, you wore a suit when you flew, you know, suit and tie, you know.

And so all of the stuff, and then we get to the United States and it's going through the whole, you know, the whole process of becoming Cuban refugees, even until we, you know, we enter legally passports and visas and sponsor and the whole bit. There's a lot of sacrifices, you know, and I see that last generation not fulfilling their dream of going back to Cuba someday. Because it's just, you know, every day, you know, it's like it ain't going to happen. You know, the only way for them to go back to Cuba would be to basically go back again under another communist country, you know, still a communist country. So it is a bit sad for me to witness that, that their hopes and dreams of that generation are basically. You know, my sister's there. Yeah. I never really met my sister.

Oh, in Cuba? Yeah, yeah. She stayed. She stayed with her grandmother and got married. And the rest is fucking history. So I want to do that. There's a couple things I want to do. I know the situation.

I know it's communist. What am I going to do? Yeah, exactly. You know, I might die tomorrow. I want to show my little daughter. Yeah. What, grandmother, for the grave. There's a sight of me that wants to go.

I want to see. I want to see. You know, the only reason, the only reason why I won't go is because. Because of my parents. That's the only reason. Anything else, I would really don't give a shit. You know, I just want to, I would do it for my,

You know just to go back and see where I went to school where I what I grew up and you know whatever I want to see the same streets my father walked yeah I want to see the house of my mother grew up I want to see the school they went yeah well I see I want to witness that for firsthand I want to go back to walk the streets I walked when I was when I was a child and I left I was almost 11 when I left and I want to walk the same streets if still there or the same school if the building still there because everything is falling apart, you know. All I remember is an ocean, really. That's all I remember.

I close my eyes. I remember holding my mother's hands as a little boy, and that's all I remember. And then being in New Jersey. Wow. That's it. I remember. But if you talk to me about Cuba, I can't lie to you.

I don't remember the streets. I don't remember what I ate. I remember a beach. I remember just looking out into the ocean. That's it. That's all I could remember. So I love you, Rudy, with all my fucking...

I wish you. I'm going to be here. Thank you for having me here. Oh, please. I've been thinking about you for months and somebody hit me up saying, when are you going to have Rudy? And then two or three people kept hitting me up.

I got to get a hold of Rudy. I know you're busy. I'm going to be at Philly Helium this week. And then Lee, we're doing a workshop next Wednesday for a one-man show. We're doing sort of like a testicle testament. It's me and Marjibrani. That's at the Ice House.

We might do a podcast and mix it up a little bit. So that's basically it, guys. I love you guys. Again, support on it. Iron Dragon TV.com, HittySigs.com, and nailed it life. And we'll be back tomorrow and night at 8 o'clock, guys. Stay black.

What do you got, Lee? Do you have a website, Rudy or Twitter? Yeah, Twitter. Rudy Sarser, Twitter, Facebook. Tomorrow's my birthday, so if anybody wants to leave any message. I'll leave a message tomorrow. Happy birthday. I'm not going to ask you how old are.

29? 30 or 32. The second time, plus. I'll be 64. God bless you, Rudy. Yeah. Next year, I get Medicare. You get Medicare and you get 10% off at restaurants. Well, I think I already do that.

Yeah, AAA. Yeah, AAA. Yeah, AAA and the AA RRP. I love you, brother. Thank you very much. Thank you, Lisa. I am doing this to the early. No, it's okay. And if you guys, I just started to do my first blog at leeside.com. If you wouldn't to check it out, I'd appreciate it. Show is brought to you by Onit.com. Go to Onet.com and use code word church to get 10% off of any of their great products, like Strong Bone, Alpha Brain, New Mood, ShroomTuck Immune, Shumtack Sport.

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