The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #235 - Joey Diaz, Herb Dean, Lee Syatt

Episode Date: December 2, 2014

Herb Dean, UFC referee, trainer, and martial artist, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code words joey or church for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  Jungle Boogie -Kool and The Gang I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Rider's on The Storm - The Doors Recorded on 12/01/2014

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What? Get that shit going. What's going on? Roll that fucking number. Jungle boogie. Jungle boogie. What? What?

Jungle boogie. Oh shit. It's Monday night, December 1st, bitches. What? Get out that bonnet, polish that helmet. 24 days till Christmas. Oh shit. Everybody wants a present, but nobody wants to suck dick.

Confucius. Oh shit. Hit it. Oh shit. Somebody somewhere is jumping up and down right now. up and down right now. You know what I'm saying? Lisa,

what the fuck? Where you've been on a weekend? Well, I've been here. I was with you. What night? Saturday? All right. You better get it together.

We got stuck in traffic. It was a fucking disaster. How was your weekend? Good? It was great. Your wife's getting ready for final so there's no cho cho cho for you no more so you're sitting at home like a fucking mook watching TV wishing you were eating Mexican food. Oh yeah.

Look at you. Oh, this is going to piss you off, but I have to tell you. What happened? So her mom always has made the hot dogs wrapped in bacon. Mm-hmm. Guess what she's making for me this week that I think you might have to call a hospital, you might have a heart attack.

She's going to make it with turkey hot dogs and turkey bacon. That's disgusting. Tallanoian waste of time. You're hanging in it. We might as well go to Felipe's wedding. Herb Dean the motherfucking schizhaus. What's up? Fresh from UFC 90 fucking two, whatever the fuck number. I know. What did you do last weekend?

Okay, let's see. Last weekend. What did I do last weekend? I don't think I had any fights last weekend. This last weekend I passed. Yeah, you know, I did Thanksgiving, and then I just chilled around my house. It was very comfortable. You have the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So me and my kids, we went out to my parents' house, and the whole family was out there,

and, you know, we had a beautiful Thanksgiving. And, you know, I think it was, it was a very successful Thanksgiving because we only started, what, I think maybe three hours late, three hours late, which is awesome. What time was the due date? It was supposed to be at 12. And you started at 3. What time was the first turkey fucking piece of turkey eating? About maybe 3.15.

All right, that's not bad. Did you Saturday around watch football? Yeah, yeah. People came and late. Some people brought the shit late. Potatoes. No, no, it was perfect. It was perfect.

And then let's see. What do we do? Oh, you know, yeah, it was all just love and family hanging out, having fun. No arguments. That's good. Yeah. That's good. You got to have a little friction on it.

Somebody's got to leave pissed off or it ain't Thanksgiving. Yeah. Well, no, my kids were complaining about this or that. What were they pissed off? grown folk arguments. You know, this uncle told him to do that or that one told him this, this, this, and that. He's bossy, blah, blah, blah. That's fucked up going on those big, big, big Thanksgiving.

I forgot how that was. Like, and you set the kid table. I used to dread it because I wasn't a huge fan of these cousins. But this past Thanksgiving, I kind of missed it a little bit. Just like, even though we, even though you don't always get along, like it's just, it's, it feels some, it's like a bit good feeling when a family is together. Even if your mom doesn't like this one sister It just gets crazy

I was supposed to go to my uncles But then he started saying You know he'd rather go to a restaurant So I bought this turkey from Boston Market With all the trimmings And I'm like, I don't want that shit in my fucking car anyway Car's gonna stink like fucking turkey for three weeks I got to drive it to Glendale

It might leak in the car Fuck that So I finally said I'm gonna eat it at home And then go down there for dessert But he said he was gonna get something else So my daughter went to sleep Because with kids, you really, when you have a baby, you can't time.

How old is she? She's 23 months on Saturday or some shit. So you can't time what time they're going to fall asleep and shit. I took her out all morning and walked her. It was like 2 o'clock. She slept till 5. Finally had 4. I couldn't take it no more.

I hit the fucking crib. And I slept until about 6. I got up. I went to Steve Simone's house, which was very nice. That motherfucker could cook. He met a few meatballs, some baked Ziti. I had to taste it to the pumpkin pie. And I got the fuck out of there by 8 o'clock when the baby started nod.

And I went home and I think I watched a movie with my wife. But to me, it was like walking out of the house tonight. Tonight I walked out of the house. And I'm on the top of the stairs. And I looked out and I saw a palm tree. And 18 years later, I can't fucking believe I'm in California. Oh, that's great. Like, you really can't.

But every once in a while I catch myself. You're on sunset. And you're driving on the light and you look at a palm tree and you look at sunset. And you go, holy fucking. fucking shit. I'm on Sunset Boulevard. How the fuck that this happened? See, I grew up here. So I didn't realize how awesome it was until I started traveling. And I start going to these places and like, it's not the cold. Okay, the cold is rough sometimes. But for me, it's a novelty. But what gets me is that all the wildlife knows better. They all leave.

And all the, there's no birds. It's all silence. And there's no green stuff. All the, like, you see these, these hedges, right? But they're not hedges. And the winter is just these twigs in people's yards. And you're like, man, those hedges better be beautiful to justify twigs for most of the year. Then you come back here and pass the other than Pasadena, lots of trees, birds are chirping, I got squirrels partying in the backyard. It's nice. We've got parrots. Yeah, it's crazy. It really is that you walk out and you realize, like, you have to check yourself.

And that's the same way Thanksgiving is. Like, that was a very peaceful Thanksgiving. I remember Thanksgiving, me and a buddy went to call for another friend at his house. we might be 16. And all of a sudden the father was drunk. And we got to talk in the hand, and one thing led to another, and the voices started getting raised.

It was 16. And the father finally took out of a knife and chased us out of there. That was a Thanksgiving, you know, 30 years ago, whatever. So when I have a Thanksgiving like this, that's peaceful. And then there were the Thanksgiving is when you had no money and somebody invited you over there and you had to scrape up five bucks to get like a six-pack of Coke

so you didn't walk in there like a fucking idiot or an apple pie. And when nobody ate the apple pie, you were pissed off. You could use that $9 for something peaceful. And you're thinking about taking it back on the way home. And you're like, fuck it. I just lost $9, but they fed me. I remember those Thanksgiving. It's being broke.

So they all come into perspective, you know, Thanksgiving. It really, I like it because you always think back what the fuck was I doing last year at Thanksgiving. You know, was I eating turkey, was they eating dick? Was I into a bridge with a fucking sign? It was crazy. It was two years ago when Terry was pregnant. and like she was she I don't think she even ate like you and I ate and watched a little bit of football she cooked she cooked and went to bed yeah she was pregnant as fuck she was ready to bust

it cracks me yeah it cracks me up about things it was like the friends whose houses you used to go over just all the different houses you had and then also what makes me think about is the friends who stopped by my house without calling even though it's kind of annoying sometimes those are my real friends because we grew up before they were cell phones so we would just go by each other's house That's how you did. He just went and knocked on the door. I remember that expression, calling for somebody? When I was growing up, that was the thing.

You called for Lee. You called for Herb. Because the mom would answer. Yeah, you always called for somebody. I went over and called to you yesterday. What do you told him? Oh. I never told me.

That's when you went to somebody's house. That was called calling for somebody. Yeah, yeah, going over there. Let's go call for something. Let's go call for fucking Herb ding. There was no pay phone. You just went over that knocking the fucking door 8 o'clock in there. It was herb on.

Get the fuck off I stoop, motherfucker. Okay? You know, there was no, I don't, because of the baby of my wife, I wouldn't want my old friends knocking on the fucking door unexpected. Do you know, just... Luckily for you, they probably don't live here then. No, they don't. I don't have, like, crazy people.

I live in the same town, so they all, you know, I got a few of my friends would just come knocking the door. If they don't, I don't answer, I can, but I find out, the time I finally get to the door, they're like peeking through windows and stuff. Is he in there? Where you went? They won't leave because they know you're in there. They see the car.

I see the car. No, I remember we had Thanksgiving. It's just one of those holidays, and it kicks off a hard time for some people, and you sit on their faces. Some people fucking struggle during the holidays, Jack. You know, I struggled, but I just fucking party. That's it.

A lot of people will tell you, you know what, once Thanksgiving hits, I just want to go to sleep and wake up January 3rd. And I understood. It's time for them to let it go. Because, you know what it is, is when you're going to see all the people who you believe are judging you

about where you believe you're going to be or where you think you should be. That's what I think it is. I see a lot of people who are going to that, so they're going to see their family, and they're going to see so-and-so's doing well, and so-and-so did this, and so-and-so got that for such and such,

and they're talking about this and that, and maybe you're not saying the things you want to say, or would like to be saying. You know one of the best holiday seasons I ever had? I could look at you both in the face and tell you this, when I was locked up. Why? Because I learned a lot.

Well, the best, I still remember calling someone, Christmas Eve on the pay phone and walking out and just looking at the prison, the little army barracks, and going, wow, this wasn't as bad as I thought. I ate. You know, I talked to some guys. We didn't drink. We didn't smoke dope, but you didn't need to. Do they, like, not take it for granted? Like, it's a special day, and people out here kind of get sick of them and they don't really care about it as much?

It was really weird because you had these barracks, and every barrack. had an eating area, like a bench, a microwave, a little refrigerator. You had to keep it clean on your own. Some guys kept it clean. Some guys were just animals. But there was the HIV unit. And those motherfuckers kept shit spotless. So we would hide our stashes over there.

So the one Christmas Eve, we all went over there. And I was in business with this guy in prison that cooked. He was an Italian guy, but he fucking cooked. And he cooked from... tools. Herb Dean, he cooked nachos every night. He charged $2 for nachos, and they were better than the fucking restaurant ones. He got these salted chips from downtown Denver, and then he would make his own cheese. He would stick the iron, you know, the ironing? When you iron, he'd take the thing out of the iron, and that's how he would melt the cheese in the bucket. And then he would cut

green chilies in there and onions and tomatoes, and he would melt the cheese to take eight hours. and he'd be cooking that and people would be knocking on his fucking door all night. Is the chili ready? He'd fucking cook. And every day he'd cook something different. Then there was these Mexican dudes that came in and their wives made these green chili burritos. But he was on probation for something. So he would cut the profits with the Italian dude.

So the Italian dude had nachos at night and green chili burritos. This was every fucking night, this guy. So we ate. It wasn't like what you see. And we didn't eat lobster tails like Goodfellas. But I remember Christmas Eve it was snowing And there was 30 of us on the HIV unit With six HIV guys from heroin

And we were all eating And we had all the fucking food that you'd have at home It was mind-boggling And here's these guys That probably had beefs on the street or whatever Because I wasn't from Denver But I knew that there was shit going on in there And everybody was eating

And there were some guys that were probably doing drugs But for the most part It was at Christmas that I thought it was going to be a bad Christmas, but it was a great Christmas. It wasn't bad. At that time, I wasn't having good Christmases. I haven't had really good Christmases. My mother had just, you know, six, seven years in, my mother had just died.

Christmases didn't even feel like Christmas. Not because they didn't feel like Christmas because I didn't want to feel Christmas, you know, in a way. I didn't want to feel it. But that was the first time in 87, that Christmas that I was like, okay, I fucking get Christmas again. And it was Christmas. Sorry to fucking bring you down with that story, but it's a true story. When I think of prison... Yeah, that's interesting.

I know some people make mistakes. Like, like, you've talked about DUIs and stuff, or just punching somebody and, like, hitting them wrong. But mostly when I think of prison, I think of, like, bad people being there. Is that true, do you think? Or, like, what percentage of them are bad or? There was a lot of people that were bad. There was a lot of people that were there at the end of their sentence.

My dad had done 20 fucking years. Oh. There was a lot of murderers in there. There wasn't no rapist in that place. There wasn't no child molesters. It was violent offenders that were trying to get into a system. Like, I think rifle, there was a couple camps. There was rifle, camp George West, and there was one other one.

Rifle was more for drugs. Like if you were on drugs or you sold drugs, they put you through a rifle at the end, I think. They had a movie theater. They had a swimming pool, so you would be a lifeguard in the town. they really did a lot of things in rifle because you couldn't escape. There's no way fucking who played Blade.

Wesley Snipes could not escape from that jail because rifle to the city's three hours and it's one road. Sorry. So they gave you all the leash in the world. They let you swim. In the winter you got a job at the movie theater

like at the Lowe 16 in town and the summer you got the bodyguard. Lifeguard. Lifeguard. Okay. So it was a drug prison. And then the other one was the one for rapist and child molesters. I was at the one with violence, burglaries,

maybe a little couple. They got guys for drugs, heroin, but long-term guys that had done, you know, there was a guy in there that told me how he killed this guy. But when he was telling me the story and I got to meet him, I saw it. I could see it happening. Why would you mess with this guy? You know what I'm saying?

Like if you saw fucking Spencer Antoine, you knew not to mess with him. He was six for four. He played for Louisiana, whatever, University of Louisiana. He was a linebacker. He had married. He had six kids. He was blue collar. And he went to Denver on vacation for his sister.

And some guy messed with his sister. And he ran down the stairs and fucking, the guy said something with another guy, he went upstairs and got a knife. He said, him for fucking buy you. So I was just, I was literally just thinking that. So let's say I go on a vacation to Minnesota and I kill somebody. Do I go to jail in Minnesota? Even if I'm from Boston.

That's fucked up. Now your family has to go visit you. So his family would come every six months. They'd put away money. He had six girls or five girls and a boy. But I could see how he went down. He went up, took the ear beating, got smacked in the face, went upstairs, got a knife, and came back and stabbed one of the guys.

And killed him. I could see it happening. You could see. Did he get a long time? He got 12 years because he had a really good attorney, you know. There was another guy that I became friends with him, that scout, like just robbed the Denver Broncos. Like way before computers and all that shit, he bought a ticket

and printed the ticket in the same paper. He busted into the paper where they made the ticket to the Broncos, the NFL. Just mastermind at this fucking scam. He was from Cleveland, chubby Italian dude. And he was doing it in chunks, so he would travel all around the country in chunks. So he would go to New England one week, sell 3,000 fake tickets, just selling for 7,495. How can you do that? We're in bed with the New England Patriots.

It's a new program. The NFL is in bed with them. If we sell the ticket to you, you get $10 off from the ticket priced at the cent. People are buying them like hotcakes. And then he would go to Baltimore. Then he would go to Miami or they busted him in Denver, the FBI. He was going to a town, and he told him,

he goes, I'd average $2,000, $1,500,000 tickets to Faith Valley. He made a lot of money. He made a lot of fucking money. And you know how they caught him? He sat in his own seat. Him and his people were not allowed to go to the games because they didn't want to be on camera

on NFL. He was a Cleveland Brown fan, and he went to the Denver Bronco fan. He stayed. and sat in his own ticket. After the description of people, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then everybody came out to trial.

That's the guy. That's the guy. That's how they fucking nailed them. Just tremendous. One little mistake. He said he saved one of the best tickets for himself and went in there. And they did something where they zapped out the tickets. So the people who really had tickets,

the tickets wouldn't be good or something. Something just fucking brilliant in those days. Like I meant. people that to the regular person you would consider him a scumbag but to me I'm open-minded as an artist and I like when people get fishy I looked at this genius like that's a genius to do something like that yeah I mean when you think about I don't I think he's a scumbach he's a I mean he's a he's a scumbag but at the same time it's cool that people are able to think outside the box and people are American ingenuity be and be a self-starter and you know what I mean

Yeah, self-starter. When I was his own hustle. There was a guy in there I always think about. There's a couple dudes. There was one dude that was a top crypt that I think about a lot. I think I loved him. I loved him.

I loved him with all my heart. He's a beautiful, beautiful man. He had 14 cars when I met him. And he had seven women, Doug. And they would all come on different schedules. I don't know how the fuck he did it. and he loved Nutter Butters. So he had all of them bring up Nutter Butters.

And he sent him one of his cronies. He had like 10 motherfuckers around them at all time. And they knock on my thing. Diaz, Cuba, Torre Powell was looking for you. And I'd walk over there and they'd be outside. Like four of them would be outside. Two in the hallway, one in the back. And I'd walk through him like, not nerdy.

Like, what's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? And I'd go back there. What's up? Sit down. Man, I got somebody. And we listened to Bobby Brown, Don't Be Cruel, and he, another but is shit. This is in Denver, huh?

This is in Denver. So he was a Crip from L.A. I don't know what that song is. Oh, my God. The beginning of it just happened. And when the beginning, in the middle, when they would go crazy, the brothers would throw up gang signals, and they'd be dancing in the hallways, and it was just a whole.

And here's the interesting thing, that it was a Crip Army Barry. but they put one black one white biker in there his name was Tramp and Tramp was the head of some biker gang at the time of VP and he you know he hated black guys but to bust his balls they put him in this unit with all these crips that was straight up cripping in there selling shit they would go great here they would drop and they would all be dancing with another buttons you can't in the video yeah and the video They would do moves on the videos, but there's a part towards the middle when he goes nuts, Bobby Brown.

And then they would set up a domino game in the laundry room on Wednesday nights. And they'd be all around the building, Crippin. But there was one black dude that allowed, and his name was Graveyard. Graveyard had the Afro with the bonbons on the side and shit. Graveyard, missing teeth. He'd be playing and slamming dominoes. but there's a part on here that part would come on

no matter what was cracking they'd all start fucking dancing it was I can't forget that shit Doug and I would be right in the middle of that shit howling, loving it saying now where the cameras where's the fucking people

taking pictures this was tremendous this was 16 fucking black dudes with things on what do you call D-Rags and the whole thing and one Cuban dude just sitting in the back

giggling even like a tomah Ollie going, what the fuck is this? Tremendous, man. It's a funny thing about prison stories because, you know, I've never been to prison. And I don't want to be in prison. And nobody wants to be able to.

Anybody starts talking about prison? Even though we don't want to go there, it's not like we're trying to find out about it. Everybody, the whole conversation stops. I'm going to tell us about this. Oh, my God. It's like E.F. Hutton's talking. Well, those shows are...

Anytime lockdown or whatever... Like, there's two or three jail shows, and I'll watch every single one of them. I've seen them all ten times. It's because it's like a totally... No one, like, you can't even imagine what that's like. It's from the moment you're born, you're just like, that's like, that's where bad people go. So it sounds terrifying.

And I slid my way through. I never think about it like that. I think about it. That's a place where, I mean, I don't know, as a person of color, especially in the, you know, in the times we were up. That's where you could end up. So it's not even you being bad. It's just, that's a possibility depending on how your day goes. It's very easy to get caught up.

It's very easy. It's very easy. It's very easy to get to be just a street guy. You could be at the wrong. house and then all of a sudden you sell you know you sell possession of stolen property so many comes from me with three fucking stereos it's a wednesday i know this honda dealership across the street boom you know i get off on a fucking probation now i'm in the car with you you got a joint i go to jail so how would you describe yourself at that point were you in the wrong place at the

wrong time or were you like a bad guy no no i was a bad guy really yeah yeah i was a bad i didn't know are you telling the story what'd you do i kidnapped to do for drugs, for cocaine with another dude, and then he went to turn on me. But it was... So you kidnapped him, and it was holding him hostage for them to bring you dope? No, I... Basically, what it was supposed to be was the dude was going to sell me coke because he was going to leave town. He was going to rob his roommate.

He had gotten busted at the hospital for stealing liquor cocaine after a DUI. This dude was crazy. So he was going to sell me the Coke. Me, I'm thinking to my... myself, I could just rob this guy. So I got this other guy. I usually just work with Jersey guys. My friends I grew up with, I was out of my realm,

and I used this other guy. And that guy tried to rob me. So it was just one of these things where I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, but not really. I knew what I was going through. And at that time, this is what I needed. I knew when I was doing this, that I was going to go to jail in hindsight.

I knew it. I knew that this was going to be a long shot. And it was just a day of horror. And we didn't beat him or nothing like that. Usually, we let him go. It was a burden. It was pretty okay. No, no, it was.

No, you could rob the drug dealer. It'd be like, what's he going to do after he goes, well, this is the gentleman who was trying to abscond with my cocaine. I want, you know what I mean? Usually they don't have any recourse. It was crazy. It was crazy because then the guy that the Coke belonged to went to the police station. That's hilarious.

And he copped to it that. See, that's the thing was making you think it's okay. It was fucking crazy. This whole thing was crazy. But it was that old expression, what a tangle web we weave when we tangled to deceive. So I saw it evolve in front of it. Every day, the last couple weeks, I've been writing just one story about my life. I would love to have seen that when that guy came into the police station.

I was like to report a crime. I'll never forget that his name was Randy Chambers. And, you know, from what I heard years later, he wasn't a bad dude. He was just holding the coke for these guys, moving it from. this guy stays at his house and discovers the coke. This guy that I kidnapped was no fucking angel. You know, I apologize to him. We're tight now.

We talk on the phone from the time to time. But he knows that he was no angel at the time. In fact, fresh off my situation, he got robbed again. He was involved in the same shit again. I bought coke from him four or five years later. I bought coke from him at that time he was on heroin. This kid was bad news for a while. Didn't give me the excuse to rob him.

Well, that's why he understood. He was a drug addict. Yeah, he was like, yeah, I understand. He understood, you know. I could have been you. So, but it's crazy that I was clean off coke for a year. And I moved to Aspen and I was working at the Creswood Hotel as a security guard. And at night, I was a security guard at night.

And breaking into people's houses to steal at the coke? No, I wasn't breaking on nobody's house at this time. Oh, okay. I was on the level. I had a girlfriend. And we were staying at the employee housing. Kreswood until my apartment opened up at the hotel. You had to wait a couple weeks until somebody moved out,

and then you got a free one-bedroom apartment to working there and a ski pass at the time. That's nice. Yeah, it was pretty fucking cool. It was in 1985, and I had been coke for a year, but I was hanging out with people that were doing coke, and one that I did it, like, just before the year. And I was like, fuck, I did 11 months,

and after that, it was off and running. I wasn't crazy. I would just do a little bump from time to time. Then Danny Bianculo came out. and started selling me ounces, and I would go to East Coast and pick them up, like an eighth of a kilo. I'd pick up nine ounces, ten ounces, and bring them back, and I'd sell guns. And I got myself into this realm. But they had blown up this drug dealer.

His name was Steve Grabo. They had blown him up in a car bomb. So his understudies were still around. The people that were moving coke from him were still around. And some of the people I knew were still getting Coke from this Greybo organization. They were white dudes, the people I knew. It was a chick and a guy primarily. And also, and I show, they're selling coke for 1,800 an ounce.

And I'm selling coke for 1,200 an ounce, and I'm giving them way better coke. So the word fucking got out. So one day, this kid calls me and he goes, hey, man, my friends want to talk to you. They want to talk to you about maybe you go on business with them. You don't even need to go back east. Maybe they'll just cut your deal. I was a good fucking drug dealer at the time. I was selling the ounces.

I had one guy that sold grams in Aspen, and had another guy that sold grams in Cologne, in Snowmass Village. My prices was so good that I could pay these guys, like good money. So these guys would sell an ounce a night. Like, they were fucking savages. They would leave my house at 8 o'clock with an ounce of Coke and fucking half grams

and knock back out my door. One, give me another fucking ounce. I would go, guys, I don't have them even prepared. I got it in rock form. So I was killing, motherfucker. And I was selling it old school. I took it street to these money. These guys were selling 100 of gram and cutting it.

I was giving it to them for 80 and rocking it up for them. They were losing their mind. I was like fucking killing motherfuckers. So this guy calls him and then he goes, hey man, they want to talk to you. Maybe you buy the Coke from them. And me and this dude, I go, all right, as long as you go with me. I don't know these fucking people. He goes, no, no, no, I'll pick you up.

We went, we went to old snowmass. When we got the old snowmast, they fucking pulled us over. And they made me go in this other car. And they said, put a fucking. bag over yet and I'm like what? No, they didn't. Yes, they fucking did. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, we're going to search you for weapons.

We'll give you the weapons back on the way out. But we put a bag over here and I'm like, what? And I'm like, all right, put the fucking bag over my head. It was like a five minute drive. And I went in, I took the bag off when I went in, and these motherfuckers that I went to talk to had bags on their head with little fucking holes cut out and shit. And I'm like, what?

What the fuck? How have you never told this story before? Because I just remembered this. I was writing this stupid shit. And this is, I'm an old snow mass. And I'm in this fucking, like, a garage slash barn, like where he carried heavy machinery. And the guy's like, you don't know him?

You might just say my name is Kurt. With a bag on the tank. With a fucking white, like a, not like a KKK bag. Right, right, right. Like a fucking brown bag with little holes like a fucking three idiots. And I'm thinking about this. at first, but I'm like, you know what? These motherfuckers are retarded, but they're

the type of guys that probably, you know, whatever. They got it going on. I'm not because, like, my name is Kurt. Let's just call me Kurt, whatever, and you know, you're fucking shit up. You know, if you want to buy it from us, we'll sell it for $14,000. And I was like, listen, man, I'm not even up to that

level. I'm already been involved with these guys and they go, give us a try. I think I took like six ounces in them or something like that. But they had like a middleman. They just took me They're like, scare me, like to scare me or some shit. But I was like, come on. You guys have been watching too much fucking Miami Vice.

I fucking got back in the car. And I had to put the bag over my head and then drive to my car and they took it off. And then the next couple weeks I got to call to deal with these guys. I had to be a volunteer fireman. This is crazy shit, Doug. And here's the fucked up shit. You've got to be careful what you wish for. Because for years.

I was like, I'm going to be a good drug dealer. I'm going to be a good drug dealer. I'm going to be a good drug dealer. And I was like, fuck, you know, and here I was. That's it. I had reached around a fucking drug dealing with these fucking savages. Like, this was it. These guys carried weapons, and they had bags over their fucking heads.

Like, this is it. I'm on Miami Vice. Welcome to the fucking real world. And I kind of shit my pants. You know, I kind of. Like, I kind of shit. And I used to carry a weapon then. I had a fucking holster.

with two fucking clips. I mean, I was just fueling my fucking fantasy. And this is why I tell people all the time, like when I called Duncan on that YouTube video, because this is how quick you fall into shit. I think that would have messed me up, the bag. Because that's like, I don't know, that's like some, like, yeah, that's crazy. I wouldn't like that at all not being able to see where you're going.

It was. As far as etiquette. It was fucking surreal, guys. But that was it. That was the beginning of my end. So wait, what happened with the firefighter? Yeah, they're joining the fire department. So I had to join the volunteer fire department

because you had to join the snow mask club to get the blow from them. And the only way you afford it to play in the snowmast club is A, you paid the 22,000 of years to join, or B, if you were volunteer firemen, they gave you free admission into the snowmast club. And they put the Coke in your locker and you take the Coke out of the lock.

They did everything to the snowmast club So I became a volunteer fireman You know I did the two weeks of training They make you shut out of fucking fire And a dumpster They do like You know Because up there

Most of the fires were fireplaces Those were 60% of the fires Were like fireplaces You weren't gonna handle Jew lightning or nothing like that Nobody's arson and shit Nobody's burning shit down So that's what I had to learn to do

And I did it for like four weeks Too lightning. That was interesting. Okay, I just figured that went up. That was good. They made me a volunteer fireman, and then I didn't show it, like, two of the things. Like, they call you and shit.

They're like, hurry up, you got to go to a dumpstone. I didn't show up. And they fired me. That was my end of my cocaine career with those guys, because I couldn't, they wouldn't do it any other way. They had security. They were in with the people at that fucking country club. Either they owned it, they were in.

And that's where you had to do all your transactions. You got to put the money in a locker. It's fucking crazy shit, guys. This is, this is, yeah. This is old-school shit. This is what I'm trying to write now, because this is what I think in my mind that this is the shit people want to, like,

what the fuck happened? This is the beginning of my demise. So how far away was that from you, like, doing the bad deal? Two years. Like, that rolled my psyche right into that madness. That blue fucking alcohol. That was like putting gasoline on a fire. You had like a mini drug empire.

I never knew you had people dealing for you. I had two guys. You ready for this? Who it was? Mike, who called in for the podcast with the book about knives? Are you serious? Mike and Carl Hall, who never called in. He got sick that day.

Oh, yeah. And I got mad at him. But all the people that I was around those times I've called into this fucking show. Mike Roebuck. Mike Roebuck was a bar-time of an aspirin. So he'd take the Coke with him. and he'd knock on my door

1 o'clock. He was better than Carl. Him and Carl were about the same. In those days, I wanted 40 for the fucking gram. So they would sell for 80. They made just as what I made. So they were hopping, Jack. They were hopping. Fuck that shit. I had these motherfuckers hopped up.

So it was just, it was weird. And I sold the ounces. So they did the fucking little shit, and I did the ounces so I knew what I was dealing with. And, you know, those half grand. It was 50 people. selling fucking coke in the streets and Aspen in those days. I can imagine that, yeah.

I just had a niche. I knew fuck 50, 40. 40. Get rid of it. Give them a little rock. Show them a rock. Everybody wants to buy coke. They give them powder. Why give them these people powder? Give them a fucking rock and two little lines of powder. They go nuts. They look at it and buy another

one. You get the same shit. Yeah, give me another one. Boom, you just sold an eighth. You just sold the fucking gram where you had nothing. So what? I undercut the guy by $20. I'm still selling it. I'm moving double the amount because I'm undercutting them by $20 fucking dollars. You know,

everybody was buying Coke. It was like snow cones. Like fucking snow cones, Lisa. So what year was this? This is 86. This is 86. How do people find out about... I'm 24 years old.

How old are you? I was at the time. Yeah, 63. And this is 86. So I was 23 years old. Fuck. How do people find out about like a new drug dealer that has like a good price? Like, how does that?

I've never even had to deal with that, but is it just friends? Carl Hall went out. Well, his guy was a bartender. One guy was a bartender. The other guy was a bartender. Carl, I fucking told Carl how to do it. You want to sell Coke? Sure.

If you want to sell Coke, you got to do Coke. You're not going to buy coke from somebody who walks in like a secret agent or an FBI agent. You want to buy Coke from the most fucked up guy at the place. By the time Carl got out of his jaw, would not stop. There's people who could go out and control their jaw. Carl would be fucking jawn. And I told Carl, let's tell you, take 28 grams out. What's 28 times 80? 10 times 8, $1,600, right? I think he was giving me like a thousand at the time or something. Right? Take a gram right off the top, crush it up and give people bumps. Anytime you see a bitch, give her a fucking

bump, because they're going to keep chatting. They're the ones that are going to sell it for you, those dumb little bitches and then you got to bang them and get the fuck out of that bar you got to go and get so they would have three bars car haul would sell 27 grams in three bars

because you give some away to your friend come here do a bump of it you got more on you yeah hold on give me 10 minutes I'm gonna go to the ATM machine whatever the fuck you gotta get them hooked like New Jack City that's crazy wow that sounds like New Jack City that's it's New Jack City

in a microeconomic type of way You know, what's that micro and macroeconomic? This is how you do it. But in that little small little area, you probably pretty easy for you to get. I know guys, that I was buying Coke from 10 years ago, they're still in business in Hollywood.

And they're geniuses. How much money would you make, like a week? For me? Sure. A thousand a week, just from me as a custom. No, no, no. No, I'm going to exaggerate. No, with you as a dealer.

You want to make 5 to 10, 20. If you're home during the week, you know, you just work nights. I know the guy I was getting it from was making like seven or eight. Living in Hollywood, he would make one trip up north, take a bus, come back with school books, USC, rah, rah, rah, rah. Go right back to Hollywood, cut that shit up, and he'd go to work from four in the afternoon to one,

selling coke and ecstasy. That's a lot of money. He changed his number every 60 days. He wouldn't have it in this house. You want a lot to go to his house. He never told you where he lived. He met you. the predetermined location.

You know, he never had it on him. He would always go busy, and within five minutes, some chick would show up, some dude would show up. He'd have different people every night. And then he'd go, you see that can over there? It's right behind that can. You don't even know who dropped it off. He'd already know what you wanted,

so he'd drop it all behind the can. He'd have the chick drop it all behind the can. He's stolen business in Hollywood. I still talk to him once a month. He just invited me to his business. his wife's having a baby. Fucking tremendous. I give those guys credit.

They alluded to law. They alluded. And he got busted years ago. Once you take a bust or two, then you know how they work. Now you won't take a bust. Especially if you work smart. I'm not advocating drug sales here. We're just going on a turbanes here. We're talking about fucking drugs.

We want to talk about the U.S.C. Oh, shit. I preach you for nothing. Tony Bennett, 1963. Oh, shit. I want to be around Pick up the pieces How are you?

I'm feeling good, how are you? Ryan, who takes care of you? 35 million games? Look at you. Who takes care of you like Uncle Joey? Nobody knows that. You got the Tony Bennett? Come on.

He's the smoothest, man. Keep it going. Keep it going. You got to turn her down for this. Every Monday, I play this for my mother, the spirits. I light a candle. I change the glasses of water.

You know what I'm saying? I blow some cigar smoke for a legwax. I get the party started. I'm going to add this to my playbook. Oh, this is a peck music. You play this for a freak. Stop. You give a two blast of Coke.

Those fucking panties fall right off. That little onion opens up. You ready to eat that motherfucker of the debt, Jack. Wow. It was hilarious. Before I came, my daughters were like, okay so dad tell us where the podcast so we can listen to this

now I'm like okay don't worry baby I'm gonna text you when I get there you guys are going to like okay we want to listen we want to watch it dad I'm like I'm so glad I forgot they'd be like dad so we want to watch the podcast there's no video for this one no no maybe not maybe tonight when you get home they'll both be there what's an onion you're like what the fuck

what's an onion daddy what was he talking about we really like to cook What's up, Lisa, I have? Nothing. How many pounds you lose so far? 75. Look at you. You're a regular fucking Joe Atlas.

Give me a crab. Give me a crab. Give me a crab. Look at you. Look at you, you bad motherfucker. 75 pounds. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm almost back down.

I had lost a bunch of weight, juicing, and I got down to somewhere, and I'm almost back down. Are you still with that fucking juicing? No, I know. It's gone. Did you not throw the juice away? Yeah, it's gone. It's gone. What did you do with it? I gave it away to somebody.

Who did it to? I don't know. Why are you lying to me? You're still got, you're a Jew. It's in your closet with dust on it. That thing's going to go on eBay a week before Christmas. But it worked for you. It didn't, no, but it didn't, because I put it all back on plus 15 pounds.

So now I'm in the process of losing again. Are you going to have a juice again? No. No fucking kelp for you. That's it. No pineapple juice. No, that'd be cool. It's just the green juice I made.

I can't even smell any more. He was trying to sell it to me one day. He's like, yeah. He was shaking it up. He's drinking in front of him. I can see his fucking face doing it pale. That shit puts your body into shock, though. Yeah, kill's not that great.

And I kept telling you, you should throw a hamburger in that. Like some hamburg and some apple juice. Never know what happens. It could be like a hamburger smoothie. You could make a fucking million dollars. You don't know until you try it, right? What's going on here, Dean? Tell me something good, brother.

Oh, man. Just living, man. Just looking forward to the holidays, you know? Just Christmas coming up. We're going to be refereing lots of fights, doing what I do, you know. What's this weekend? Oh, this weekend is Robbie Lola. Were you be in Las Vegas?

I will be. I will be there on Saturday. See, yeah, Thursday I'm going to be out doing King of the Cage here in California. Friday I'm going to do the RFA down in Orange County. Saturday, go up, Vegas. That's amazing. And you stay fresh. You go to bed early. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You drop drops in your eyeballs and shit. Yeah, when I got to be like that, yeah, I got to go to bed early. You're the best in the business. Otherwise, it's my responsibility to stay up a little bit late so I can sleep in. Right. That's a man. It's fucking tremendous that you're the best in the business. That's what we have at the table right now.

You've been voted, right? They did vote on it and think that's crazy, you know? Yeah, they vote on that. That's the best official. Hey, I'm so happy that our fans appreciate the job we do, you know? You do a good job. Yeah, yeah. I was watching football Sunday, called Lee Pissed off Monday.

And I was watching those guys when they, Now you could challenge them. Yeah. You could challenge them for a couple of years. And I was like, that would work in MMA, maybe. I was just thinking that, but there's no real point to challenge unless it stopped. And then that's the only thing. Well, that's the hardest thing.

Yeah. That's the hardest thing. And I get it. I fucking get it, especially now. You know, especially fucking now. And, you know, when somebody's out, they don't know they're out until they look at the tape. Well, did you hear about that Ohio State player? No.

That guy? He was a football. player. He had wrestled all through college and into senior year, and he joined the football team, and he had some concussions. And he went missing on Wednesday, and they found him yesterday. He'd gone into a dumpster and killed himself because of, I don't know if it was because of this concussion stuff, but they're checking for that. Yeah, they think that's what they're getting there saying that people get concussions. Like, Junior Sayo happened. That's the NFL. There's other, there's other reasons why people might want to kill themselves, though. That's true, but it's scary to

think about. Like, I mean, Mercy's never going to play football, but, but, you know, I mean, if you had a boy, what do you let them play football? It's kind of weird. I know one thing. I watched the HBO report, which is tremendously interesting. I had Junior San and six other players.

The most memorable one was the young brother. That was his sweetheart. You could tell on his face. He was just a happy young brother. He came down with a fucking gun and shot himself in front of the wife and kids. You know, he had six concussions. He was a defensive back.

But this is my argument. This is the only thing I find. I'm no genius. I'm no specialists. What's been happening the previous 50 years? That's what I'm wondering about. That's what I want to know. Has anybody looked into a report of the players that played with the fucking leather helmets?

Guys, football came out with leather helmets. Am I lying? Am I wrong? Am I wrong here? Does anybody know? Can anybody get involved in this conversation here? You know, they used to be leather helmets. Right.

Were those guys as strong as us? That's the other question. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. That's the other question. That they hit as strong as we. You know, we're a superb human being now with all these minerals and all this shit that were, these new ways of training and new methods of training,

you're really optimizing the individual. There's so many ways to spend something or so many ways to interpret things. You know, it's like, at the end of the day, some of these conversations, I'm like, I don't know. So I just want to ask the question, and you could email me at joeydeers.net in a week or so when you listen to this.

I mean, the hits I saw Jack Lambert put on people. Right. Did he get concussions? Did he kill himself? The hits I saw Earl Campbell put his head down. I know Earl's in rough shape. They just replaced his hips or his knees. There's something going on with Earl.

But, you know, how is his mental state? These players I saw took tremendous fucking hits. Ronnie Locke, who lost the finger. You know, those guys that play defensive backs. That's what I left watching that thing on HBO, thinking of especially defensive backs and linebackers. They're the ones. And when a running back puts his head down.

Hershal Walker, I see him all those. fucking time. You know, how many hits that he fucking take to the fucking head? You know, just at Georgia, that motherfucker got hit in the head with 20 fucking sledgehammers. Those fucking white kids, what division is that in Georgia? That's the real fucking division. Those are big

fucking corn-eaten white motherfuckers that hit hard. They throw weights around and they throw bales of hay. Those bales of hay weigh like 800 fucking pound. So, I just want to know, is Hershal Walker. I want to know. I want to know what the the percentage of those players in the 70s.

On top of it, you know, I mean, guys who can do that are intense people to begin with. So, I mean... Where's Romanoski? That motherfucker clocked 80 people in the head, so I want to know. I want to know what else.

Was there something in their diet? Was it a type of steroid what they were doing? While they were getting hit or for the recovery? What drove these men crazy? Because I know that... Could it be their makeup to begin with? Why are we different?

You know, I am allergic. I goof on people who are allergic to peanuts. I didn't grow up with nobody who were allergic to fucking peanut. Even allergic to ate to fucking peanut. I'm allergic to maple syrup and dogs. I was growing up, I couldn't have a dog around. If I walked in your house, even if you put the dog outside, and then ow, I'd be at the hospital.

Eyes swollen, nose bleeding. Eventually, there are more dogs I play with, the thing went away. Maple syrup today? Listen, I'm a fan. dude that smells a refo. When I wake up in the morning, I can't stand eggs. I can't stand eggs. Eggs are society's punishment on me.

I eat them because that's my option. Yogurt with the peanuts in it and bananas and raspberries. It works in time to time. But I'm hungry 10 minutes fucking later. So eggs at least fill me up, scrambled with ketchup. What about the ones on those ribs right there?

Is that eggs on the red? That's Cuban Weirwok, how are you? Man, I was looking at that. That's called Weirwok, Ohio. That's a big Cuban dinner. What they get is a mound of fucking rice. Then they put a steak on that motherfucker. Then they put two fried eggs on that motherfucker.

What you're supposed to do is cut it with the yolk, and the yolk mixes with the fucking rice. Now, if that doesn't get your dick hard and put protein in, you know these people, I only consume soy protein. Listen, Sergio Leaver, one of the greatest bodybuilders, we know. That's what he ate for breakfast. That's what he'd eat. Where, how are you? It means

exon horseback. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Are you fucking kidding me? That's what the Cubans call it. Exxon fucking horseback. That's to really send you to a different fucking dimension. What's up, Lee? What do you giggle about, cuckers?

So that's my thing. When I watch that, I want to know, what's the middle lineback from the Chicago Bears that you did all those crazy movies? During the 60s, he was fucking headbutton motherfuckers. Come on, guys. He did all the Police Academy movies and all that shit. You know, he was supposed to be the hardest hitter of all time.

You know, where's that guy today? So I know Junicea was a very nice guy. You heard that all the fucking time for years. There was a big player from the fucking... Anybody twit me. Big player from the fucking 60s for the Chicago Bears. What the fuck? Nobody knows here.

Unbelievable. What am I going to do with you guys? What am I going to do it? What show was he on? He was on... He was on police academy and shit. Police Academy. Bubba Smith?

No. What the fuck? No movies. I mean, that movie, any other movies? He did a couple things. But anyway, you know, he was like the hardest hit of the Chicago Bears. Bobbeth Smith keeps popping out. No, no, somebody else.

That's all right. But it really is, you know, crazy that that's what I want to know, the percentage of the other players, where, you know, UFC fighters. Yeah. They're getting stronger and stronger. You know, you walk around for years at 205, 210. Anthony Johnson's a strong dude, you know. Yeah.

I could see something like Anthony Johnson hitting you, God forbid, you know, the wrong way in the fucking head. Boom Boom Mancini killed that fucking Korean kid. Youngcom Kim. Think of a Buku? No, what was the kid's name? He was a Buckel Kim? No, Youngcom Kim.

Don't Come Kim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the greatest fucking fights ever on television. You could have robbed ten banks. at that day. Nobody would have known. Everywhere I walked into, everybody was watching that fight.

Everywhere you, it was on Wild World of Sports. Everywhere you walked into that afternoon, everybody was like, hold on one second. You're like, what the fuck are you watching? It's the best fight ever.

Finally, I watched like the last four rounds. They were beating the fuck out of each other league. No referee, no Nevada commission. They threw everybody out. This is a fight guys. Fuck these two. And that Korean kid wrote on his chair,

a fight to the death or something before he went out there. He fought in it. He died in his dressing room. Yeah, man. 1980. 83. That's going to be really bad if someone dies in the UFC fight.

No, God forbid. I'm just saying that these guys are getting stronger. These guys are getting stronger, and sometimes there's throws, there's judo throws involved. You never fucking know. With football, I mean, it's been okay, but all these concussions, this is amazing. Every fucking week, somebody's got a concussion.

And you've got to watch them. I've had a concussion. It's not a good feeling. No. What does it feel like? It feels like your body. I remember puking a lot? Oh, Dick Buccas.

Dick Buccas. That's him. Dick Buccas was a hard-hitting motherfucker. How is he doing today? Is he suicidal? Has he been a... I mean, these are things you have to look at. So I don't know when they did that HBO thing,

what it's conclusive is something with the water. For me, I thought about it, and it could be a drug. with the hits to the head. Something they're given them. You know, after this guy has received two concussions, maybe they're giving them something that they don't know.

It's experimental, the FDA, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they're saying it's some sort of syndrome that guys are getting after concussions that make them feel this way, right? To make them feel this way. Like CTE or something? Something like that. So that's what I'm curious about.

Are they giving them something? You know, society, athletes are getting so, I've had a couple of concussions. Yeah, athletes are getting sold, a bill of, society's getting sold, a bill of later. You know, there's vitamin people who really believe, I get sponsored by Onit because I've gone to dinners, I've hung out with Aubrey,

and I know what Aubrey does. Aubrey talked to me for years about opening up Onet before he did it. You know, he always talked to me about this combination of stuff when he went to like Columbia, he would go and get Ayahuasca and all that shit in these countries. Yeah, the guy that does On It has a great podcast. He writes a blog. He's very intelligent.

I'm going to go look at it, but what do they have on that? Aubrey, like he just has a lot of different, I don't know. They do all that stuff. I'm not very familiar with it, so I don't want to talk about. But I know that he's into minerals and making, he always took stuff to make you better or give you more energy. Right. So when he came up with Onet and him and Rogan were telling me, about it one night. I saw his passion.

It's the same passion I have for stand-up. The same passion I have for food. So I know that Hon. It's good. That's why when he contacted me, I was like, absolutely. I was kind of proud in the way because he does have a couple good products there that do work. But there's a lot of people that are selling you misinformation.

They're selling you faulty fucking products. They're selling you shit that there's really nothing in it. If you take half those protein shakes in the market, they probably are all sugar and half the protein in those fucking things. And you wonder, because sometimes there's some that, you know, it's always the low sugar, high protein one, and some of them taste so good, and you're like, oh, man, all my dreams have come true. The next, you know, the best

tasting ones are always off the market. After a little while, maybe people find out, you know what, maybe it wasn't true what they said was in there, or maybe there was some other stuff. You don't know what's fucking in there. You don't know what's fucking in there. The only protein shake you know is when you're making it home and you put wheatgrass in that motherfucker and sirehan, and fucking paluca trees and ginger. You ever have a little bit of Seahon Seahon in your fucking protein shake? No, but I like poliquitries. That's like gunpowder.

You put that in your fucking shake. Like, what's his name in that movie about Africa? He was snorting gunpowder and blow. What's that movie? The dude that fucking was selling guns? Guns of war. Oh, I didn't see that movie. Damn.

What's it, Nicholas Cage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of his last... Oh, yeah, yeah. That's one of his really last good movies. That's an interesting movie. At the end, he gets all fucked up, and he goes down to this little village.

and they're drinking, and this dude keeps sending them shots of fucking coke and gunpowder. That's just tremendous. In West Africa, where the fuck they are? And his brother was great. The guy that won the Academy Award this year for whatever, the Dallas Biers Club.

He was a transvestite. He was the brother in that. Fucking tremendous. He played a Coke fiend and shit. You haven't watched that movie. I heard the Dallas Bres Club is good. Dogs of War. It's on every fucking night

on showtime or one of those. It's on every night. Every night, and every night I stop what I'm doing, and I fucking put it on. See, I don't watch a lot of TV. I do the Netflix thing, but I got to catch up to it. I got a lot of movies that got to catch up with it. God of War. You know what, man, I decided today I'm getting rid of DirecTV.

As soon as the football season's over because I paid for the stupid NFL package, I'm just canceling it. I'm paying $150. I'm going to get one of those Amazon sticks that you can play the watch ESPN app on, and that's really all I'll watch, and then I'll buy a DVD for, if I want to. But it's too much money. I sat down and thought about it, and there's nothing on.

It's crazy how little there is for how much we're paying. I found that, you know what? I stopped watching TV, but then I found out when I check in and watch some TV. They're making amazing stuff, man. Some of these TV shows are true. Netflix is making great stuff. Yeah. Television's trying to fucking come back.

And they're losing us. They're losing us little by little. And they know it. The cable networks and HBO's and they go to, HBO is just going to buy what you use, correct? Yeah. Is that the rumor? Well, you can do that.

You can just sign it for HBO Go. But if you have Amazon Prime, you get access to all, like, the HBO Go things, I think, or maybe all the old series. So it's, there's just so much stuff available to you. Listen, I, I, do you watch Game of Thrones? No, I don't have HBO right now. I don't watch it. I don't watch it. I've heard it's great.

I heard it's great, too, but I mean, I don't have TV, but I have, yeah. I have to watch TV. for my little entertainment. That's part of me getting entertained and refueling at night. You know, sometimes I'll scroll by ESPN and it bores me to debt. Some of those reality shows

late night aren't bad. At least they're interesting. The prison ones, there's always something on discovery or something. Does that a fucking earthquake again? No, that was me. Okay. Jesus Christ. That's why he is. You got like a size 19 fucking footer

being tremendous. And then you got like late movies, which I really enjoy. I enjoy a nice even if I saw it, you know what was on last night? What? Mawr-Fucking 8mmeter with Nick Cage and James Gandler Feeney. None of you motherfuck has ever saw that. Yeah, I saw that. Nick Cage

is an investigator and he's investigating a missing girl. Right, yeah, I remember that. And he has to, and Rakein Phoenix is the dude who works at the fucking porn store. Are you kidding me? But last week, you went to see one movie. It was the... What was the... What was the... Anemeet was supposed to be a snuff film.

But you haven't seen 8mm. This is what I'm talking about. 8 millimeter wasn't out at the Burbank. Who gets a fuck what's out or what's not out? You're supposed to call me and say, she wasn't going to see 8 men? Wasn't it a bad movie? All right.

Take the fucking stick out of your ass. All right. It wasn't a bad fucking movie. You're making crepes on a Friday. God's sucker. It wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't. So he has to go investigate.

That's how he gets him. He has to go get him. Cut a deal. with the fucking dude to make a porno movie from. But then does he end up getting drawn in or something? Yeah, he gets fucking tremendously. It's on tonight. Don't forget, cock sucker.

I'm going to forget. I'm going to start watching more TV. You know what I do online? You know what? I just play guitar and sing real bad to my kids. It's about it. Nothing wrong with that. It's about it, yeah.

You got a tough job. So, you know, you got to be focused. But I should watch TV. I feel like I'm out of it. Like half the jokes I don't get because, you know, I don't get the references. You know what I mean? People are like making jokes.

and like I don't get it and then they'll explain to me it was this TV show and this guy did that and everybody else in the room got it and I didn't so you know so I can be you know culturally aware I need to spend some time in front of the television I'm gonna ask you something I remember here because somebody asked me this a while ago out in the club or something they were like in Minnesota last year nice kids came over to me and they say man you had herb dean on if they go to the school, do they get certified in Minneapolis? Okay. Like the school in Pasadale?

I'm sorry to change the subject. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While it came to my mind, I knew I had to ask you something. And I forgot to write it down. That's a good thing to ask. Okay, so how it works is to referee a match, to be an official, you need to have a license. And the way the athletic commissions are work, especially all the ones that go to the ABC, they say, well, you need to have, you need to go to an ABC approved course, an ABC

he recognized course. So yeah, you need to take the course, then you come back with your certificate, and you go, and you start doing shows amateur or pro shows, but to get licensed, you do need a certificate. So it doesn't automatically mean you get licensed there,

but you should not be able to get licensed without passing it. But it doesn't, if they come and get a certificate from you, they go back to Florida, or New York, whatever the fuck they're from, and be a referee.

Yeah. After they come back, they're going to, when they're, they're going to say, look, they're going to go, well, what course did you pass? They go, well, what course did you pass? They go, I took this course. Is it ABC recognized? No, you need to take an ABC recognized course. So there's me, John does one, a couple other guys doing them. Here in California. And then they have them in New York, too. Somebody does them in New York. They have some on the East Coast. Somebody does them like, there's a couple guys on the East Coast who do them. There's a guy out of New Jersey

who does them, a guy out of Massachusetts who do them. Yeah. I don't think anyone in New York because it's not, you know. Sanction. Yeah. Well, the UFC is not sanctioned. But they have other MMA events. Yeah, but they don't have MMA is not supposed to happen in New York. Pro MMA, definitely. And the amateur, I'm not sure really what goes on with that. I've never really done one out there.

Yeah. And this is all because of a fucking union. That's who you're trying to tell me. I think, I just know it's not legal. I know there's something to be involved with the union. There's something with a union or whatever the fun. That's above my pay grade. Like the hotel workers union or something like that?

I think it's the culinary union. Culinary Union. Yeah. It's amazing. That politics is getting involved in the UFC. Fucking tremendous. At least the fucking public is seeing it for what it is now. You guys are at home thinking your fucking congressman's working hard for you.

That Martians aren't going to invade your neighborhood. You better fucking set that alarm and get the shotgun ready, bitch. Because they don't give a fuck! You know what I'm saying? Lysayette. You know what I can go for it right now? A wise potato chip. Not a bag, not three, not four.

Just one. What flavor? The regular one. That's East Coast. potato chips and shit. Wise is the shit. I was always an onion and garlic type of motherfucker myself. But right now I can just go for a plain chip. Just one, one of those big ones with the brown edges and shit.

Come on now. What could you eat right now, Lisa? Tell me the truth. What do you got hidden at the fucking causal of fucking Lee? Oh, God, I have to go grocery shopping. You have to go grocery shopping? I do. You believe what I get a deal with this fucking...

I don't have that. What do you got in the house? You got any peanut butter and nothing? Yeah, I do. Well, nice and peanut butter. You got white bread? Yeah. No, I don't go.

Oh, yeah. Why don't you make those rice cakes and drown the bread? I'm out of rice cakes. Oh, sure. He calls me up, and I'm like three times higher than I am now, and he tells me, you're eating those, like, rice patties. I don't know why you're not like rice cakes so much. Because they're disgusting.

They make you thirsty. Anyway, what the fuck you bother me for? I'm talking about referee school. Keep it up. I'll send you there for the weekend. You'll be in Idaho, ref and fucking. I hate fucking. Jew events and shit, you know what I'm saying?

Lee, boom, boom, where's the fucking envelopes I at? Everybody's blowing me up. They know I'm in the church of what's happening now. Oh, shit. Oh, who knows? I see, yeah, one of my buddies, Disco Dave. Oh, shit. Disco Dave, give him a shout out.

There you go. You love doing what you do, and I could see it in the fights. I could see in the old fights. I can't tell you evolution. I'm not that good. I got terrible fucking eyes. I don't see half this shit you see. But I don't see half the shit they see in the football.

I don't see. I never saw it. I never catch the first time. It's amazing that they catch how much they catch, going so fast. And that's why it's kind of ridiculous when fans get that upset at the referee for making a call. Like when the fan has seen thousands of slow motions and you have to do it in real time. Like you can't look at it again. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes. Some of those calls are so close. You know, and I mean, some of them are like a fraction, right? Like a little fraction of an instinct that were calling. You're like, you know what? You make your call on what you think it was. And if they took a poll with all the knuckleheads that watch television today,

if they took a poll amongst knucklehead International, they would all say it, punch him until he drops or his eyeball fucking falls. Oh, of course. They would say that, and I don't see it that way. I could tell. You tell that one punch when they're wobbly. you know you know he's got one more left so what do you look for when you're gonna stop the fight

like what are you looking for the person to be winning to be doing what is the person who's gonna lose doing like what's the threshold for that well I mean first of all I'm looking for them to be are they doing something that makes sense are they doing you know because I'm not judging on how hard they're getting hit or many times you're getting hit I'm judging on what they're doing back and are they doing it somewhat effectively and doesn't make sense if they got hit and they're waving their arms in the opposite direction of where the fighter is.

Obviously, they're not in a situation to be able to deal with what's happening. So it's time for me to help them out a little bit. That's basically what I base it on. Someone's taking shots. Are they doing something that leads me to believe they're going to be able to get back into this game? Or is things getting much, much worse. Did you referee overreem against Bigfoot? Yes.

Yes. Yes. It was on the other night. And there was one punch where you don't have to be a real thing. referee. You knew Overeign was night night. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just a matter you getting there, whatever, and he could take another two or whatever. When I watched that, that was one. I was sitting there going, only an idiot could tell

he's not out. He's on his feet because he's got strong fucking legs. Right, right, right, right. His mind hasn't told his knees yet to fall. You could see. You could, I don't want to see somebody to take more abuse. They get knocked out. They get knocked out. The first shot, if they argue with you and they tell you, I wasn't knocked out, I was just thinking about Bermuda. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They always got something. No, dog, I was blinking.

I felt them. Listen, you were wrestling with fucking the matchmaker. Right, right, right. That was the fucking matchmaker. That's usually what we'll say. Yeah, you know, let's watch the tape and we'll see about it. Watch the tape and you want to, you know, whatever. But if you see it and you're a real man, you'll understand you will knock the fuck out.

And it happens. And you'll think about it and go, wow, I was. I was in the fourth grade eating a fucking cookie with my favorite teach-teach. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and those are the things. I've been knocked out, so I've had those things happen, you know, where all of a sudden I'm in my living room, but all the people from the gym, because it was in the gym, or in my living room, I'm like, man, these guys never come over my house.

What they're doing here? Pass remote control or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, those are the kind of thoughts you're having. I've had guys say some strange things to me. I'm like guys, you know, tell me if they're going to keep fighting at this place, that they're going to have to get better seats because they can't see the punches coming from when they're way out there and they have bad seats like that. You know what I mean?

So, yeah, a lot of times guys, they're not thinking right for that minute or two, you know? The one that kills me is the fucking blood ones. Because once you're cut and you accept the fact that you're bleeding, you don't really feel it. Yeah. You don't feel it. You don't feel it. If you have a heartbeat, I've seen it and I've experienced it. That once I got, I stepped on a glass on the time of the fight.

I was punching, and my foot just went, and I felt the glass go through the fucking sneaker the bottom of the bottle was cracked just perfect just perfect so as soon as I stepped it was just perfect

like if the whole glass would have been cut the whole bottom like two inches up I wouldn't hurt myself but since this was down here and this was sticking up and sharp in the fuck it went right through my cad

or converse what other fuck I had on and after I accepted the puddle in my blood and I didn't faint I kept pushing people and getting involved and until a cop said to me, hey, you, your fucking foot's drowning. You know, you're bleeding. I'm like, what are you talking?

And that's when I felt how much I was bleeding. Even when you have broken arms and limbs, you don't fucking know, didn't, what's his name, fought a couple rounds with a torn bicep, your adrenaline carries you through. Once that motherfucker, they, that you look back to your dressing room and you sit down for three minutes

and that fucking rig of mortar sends in, that riga mortar sets into your head and the punches you got and your blood, that's when you realize, but at that moment, you don't even feel that fucking cut. And the cuts, really at the end of the day,

the cuts, as far as the bleeding, I mean, someone could bleed a lot before they're in danger of bleeding in death, more than it's going to happen from all of those cuts. So that's not the issue, but we're just wondering about, are they going to get ripped open further?

Is it going to be, they're going to have nerve damage or something like that? Or, you know, those are the things we're worried about. Or like the poor young lady with the ear, we're wondering if a year is going to get ripped off. You know what I mean?

So that's what we're going to stop the fight. That was tremendous. That was tremendous. That's a shot you pay $10 for. I would have paid $12.50 to get like a little earblood on my face. You know what I'm saying? Like a pimple that won't go. Hey, the ladies bring it, man.

And she was mad. She was really upset with me for stopping that fight. She's like, look, I'm here to do this, you know? Yeah, the ladies are no joke. Oh, my God. I would have fainted if I was derived. That's how you stopped the fight for sure. Once the ref passes out, it's all over.

I don't give a fuck. Your ear is hanging off your head, your dummy. Oh, God, Almighty. I've been to a couple fights where the motherfuckers are bleeding, and I got to give them credit. I want to give them like $200 out of my pocket, because I couldn't do it. Joe, what's the Joe, whatever,

when he fought BJ Penn. Oh, Joe Stevenson. Joe Stevenson. I fainted in my little room. Yeah, you know what? That was a pretty bloody match. I fainted in my living room. What happened?

Oh, he hit him in the head and there was blood. And it was a perfect shot. I had gone back to give him instructions. That was what, it was one of the most, like, as far as the precise punches, because I went back to give him instructions. And on his paths, they're working this thing out and then they're holding it low. And he drops down and throws a kind of a strange, unorthodox punch. And I guess it's designed for when someone changes the level and shoots in on you, you're going to catch him right there.

And just as he worked the combination on the pads, it happened just like that. It's like I went in there and watched the pads, then came out to rough the fight, first thing it happens, boom, that punch it lands perfectly, and bad night for Joe. Where did you get them? Yeah, right in the forehead, yeah. When I was a kid, 2020, that's the one that's on Friday nights,

when a wrestler exposed wrestling tricks. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid, one night of that, and that was like the highest rating fucking show ever. It was the 2020 about wrestling. Yeah, it was that the one where Dr. he slapped the guy? That was one of them.

That's when they went after wrestling. That was just an open-hand slap. Oh my God. And the guy went down. He started holding on to his ear. I can't hear. Yeah, he walked up. And he said it was just, he said.

Yeah. I think pro wrestling's fake. Pa. Was that big? Oh my God. Just smacked him right in the face. This guy thought he was one of those cute, you know, Brett Musburger looking like motherfucker.

This guy clapped him in the ear with a cup hand. He sued NBC. He sued somebody. Yeah, yeah. He sued the wrestling. He sued somebody. Well, they did. did all this thing about tricks.

Again, don't fucking listen to me. I just know, don't shoot the messenger. The big thing was you got revved up, and the blood went to your head, and then you took a razor blade, and you cut your head here, and it bled a lot, because it was like,

why would there be blood there at that time? Well, because I think, yeah, when you're revving up, yeah, and facial cuts bleed a lot, right? Something, you would cut right there with a razor blade, and the blood would come out. Every time your heart beat, the blood would go, boop.

And television people would go nuts. If you want... And they cut themselves. Because they don't want those other guys cut them. The ratings would go right up. Ratings go right through the fucking route. It's like putting on a Green Bay game and there's two feet of snow.

Everybody, that's a train wreck. People love that shit. Could you do that to yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go home and do it right now. I'll play with the cats and jump up and down. What the fuck is wrong when you can I do that to myself? No.

But if somebody was giving you 30 grand... Yes. And you're all revved up. You get punched in the head for a living. What's a cut? What's three stitches? Who gives a fuck? You might go to a bar and get hit with a bottle of mekelob,

and there you are getting stitches over some dumb bitch at the bar. And even though pro wrestling is scripted, those dudes go through some stuff. When they train, like I used to train with these pro wrestlers over at the Nochi Dojo and taking those bumps and the things they would do to each of themselves. Like, this guy's going to body slam you on your head, but not only that, I'm going to jump when he picks me up

so he can get me higher before. Oh, man, it's crazy. Last night I was on the Eddie Bravo podcast, talking about if I was a musician. If I... What the fuck, Lee? What the fuck, Lee? See, you got that cuck-sucking phone on there,

texting, whatever the fuck. Get that phone up there, you cuck-sucking. It's getting twits from fucking some 20% off chicken or some sushi in the valley. You're going to fucking puke and blame it on my edible later, cuck-suck-suck-up. I was talking about a musician. Right now, there's a book about everything.

I learned about business I learned from the Grateful Dead. You know, at the end of the week, bro, the Grateful Dead made it happen. They did for 20 years where people aspire to do. They played every night and they sold our concerts. And people had a good time. They smoked dope. They stunk like shit. You know, they camped out.

Right, right, right, right. That's what you want when you're a musician. And they had a whole thing around them. They had a whole community, a whole, like, you know, I don't know, commerce was going on. That's business. Shake down street. Shake down street,

all that shit. It's just brilliant. Lee, it's very fucking brilliant. But I didn't know anything about entertainment. I knew nothing until I did the longest yard and I saw those wrestlers work.

I saw the wrestlers do things that actors, comedians don't do. First, they were very accessible. They know when they do those live events it's all about the pictures and the autographs. into the fucking fight.

So I remember being at restaurants, and Adam Sandler would be there, and people would bug him. When I did the longest yard, the most bug people on the set were Adam Sandler, and not Goldberg, but the other guy. Steve...

Austin? The one I was supposed to be on this podcast. Steve Stone Cold Austin. Stone Cold was at the bottom of end of his career, I guess, night in 2004 and him and Adam Sandler would get tortured everywhere the most. I noticed

this. This is just stupid shit till I look at. Who's getting tortured here? Who's the biggest fucking star in the room? Think about that. Steve Austin's a fucking wrestler and Adam Sandler gets 20 million a fucking a movie Lee. What are you looking at me like? All right? So

this is a guy that was getting bugged just as much as the number one movie star in the world at the time. Whatever the fuck he was. But it was how he reacted to it. Adam had bodyguards. Steve Austin didn't. You know, when we did the longest shot, Kevin Nash would leave on Wednesdays

to do an event somewhere in North Carolina, and he would bring back the tapes, and we would watch them and giggle. But at the end, it was him with the fans. At the end, hugging on fans, he taught me that angle of it. Like, he really, those guys, they commit. That's just the one part of it.

And then what they do to train, Those motherfuckers are in great shape And they get hurt Yeah They get fucking hurt And they work through that shit And they get money right The WWE pays them

I don't know the league So please don't attack me I don't know WVE WWF Yeah I think that's right That's WWE You know All I remember is being a kid

I'm watching Chief J. Strongbow And watching You know Fucking all those crazy motherfuckers The Arab dude and shit And I stop watching I don't know what he is And then now it's like

You know whatever Cole I don't even know who these fucking people are. But I learned a lot about entertainment from the wrestlers. And then you think about it, yeah. That's been on for fucking 50 fucking years.

And then I came from Cuba. There were men wrestling on TV. And then one day you find out it was fake, and you're like, I'll fuck those bitches. So when the dude started showing blood, that always made you think twice about wrestling. Is it fake? Is it fake?

He's bleeding from his fucking head. Come on, Lee, you got to put two and two together. Cocksackle, I'll wake up. I give you these edibles. Confucius enters you. Not so you sit there and stare at me. Like, I owe you $20. Fucking Herbians here.

You know, this is a... I know. He's fucking does the best fights and shit in the world. And you're sitting there and you don't ask them no questions. No, it's fun, though. You know, I think the MMA athletes do that, too. Those guys always sign.

Those guys are so nice. They have to. Yeah, because I think, you know, for so long that everybody, we're just so happy that people appreciate what we do, you know? Listen, I know one thing. When I go to watch the Dallas Cowboys play on Thanksgiving Day against the Eagles. I don't go there thinking

that if I buy the most expensive ticket I'm going to get to shake Jerry Jones' hand. But when I go to the most expensive ticket, the UFC, I know I might get to see Dana White and take a picture of them. Or Chuck Ladell. It's pretty intense, guys. That's one thing I saw that I thought was brilliant from the beginning.

UFC on TV is one thing. And I've got to say I'm pretty spoiled because Joe's my dear friend of these things. taking me to them so now I pick and choose a UFC event is a fucking pretty phenomenal thing to go watch especially in Las Vegas to me that's where I go that's there's there's that you don't get to see at home like the certain like the like the those uh videos they put together like to the different songs or whatever that are like really well done and you only get to see them there you get to see a lot of things and you feel this energy before the fights I've always enjoyed those

fights to the next level. Like, I don't tell Joe what my plans are until after I do him, because I don't want him to panic. We've done acid at those fucking things. Good for you. When Anderson Silver kicked Vito a bell for him, me and Ari were an acid. Are you fucking kidding me? Me and Ari were an acid.

Wow. You have to prepare for this shit. We always take edibles. We always know when to take them. We always pop them at 445, and then we pop another one at 6. Then we pop another one at 7. Once Bruce Buffer says it. Now, that's okay, Bruce Buffer.

Bruce Buffer live, man, the stuff that Bruce does, they don't get to see all the things he does. You don't get to see that. Yeah. The 360s, he jumps all around, just the way people walk in and out. I've seen, you know, after a fight of fights, sometimes he goes in the locker room and two fights later he'll come out

and be walking right there with a lump in his head talking to fucking somebody who was in the audience that he wanted to talk to. So it's a pretty phenomenal event. You know, if you, and you heard me the day or night, I don't go to a event. I just stopped going to them. Like, I won't go to the one in LA, you know.

I won't go to the UFC in LA. Not so much fun. Nah, I like the hotel. I like going right downstairs like a doctor. Then you go right upstairs, take a shit, smoke another joint, and you're back, and you walk around the fucking casino like a doctor. I got to hop around casinos like some fucking immigrant going from one hotel to the other, taking buses and Circus DeSolay.

I don't do that shit. And if I go to an event here, I'm always, thinking about getting out into the 405 of the 5. I'm not watching the event resting. The whole time I'm like, I've got to get the fuck out of you because not I'm going to be in bumping the bumper-and-a-bumper. You know, so that's the other thing. I don't want to be involved in that.

When the fight comes Saturday night, once Robbie Lawler gets in the cage with Little Fidel, after the first round, I get up. Little Fidel. That's a good one. Yeah, after the first round, I get up. Is that only you says that, or am I missing out? Do a lot of people call him that?

No, that's just me. Little Fidel. That's a good one. I got the right. I don't like people with those fucking beards. They make me nervous and shit. So Little Fidel, right, is fighting Lola. He's on the headline.

It's not Guillermo El Nino. That's the Co-Maine event. Right when Lola fights Fidelito, after the first round, I get up already. I get up. I walk up. People say, where are you going? I'll be right back.

Fuck, you'll be right back. I'm out of here. But the time they come out for the second round, I'm already by the fucking top of the stairs. Right, right. By that time, they let you sit out and hang out and mingle, the cops don't bother you no more. Again, if they don't get knocked out, then they walk a little closer to the door. And I go by like a French fry store, and I just sit there.

They're closing up, and I watch the monitor. It goes into the fourth round, I walk 30 more feet. And I'll watch by the escalator, right by the TV. As soon as he knocks him out, or the other guy knocks the other guy out. My man here comes out and says, it's over. for the fucking door. I already know the decision. I'm going to sit there and get trapped.

What if somebody drops a stink bomb or a little fucking bomb or something? I'm trapped down below, fucking sniffing that shit. You give away your game now. Now everybody's going to be up there. No, no. People don't think like that. They want to sit down. Let's watch the ending. Let's watch the credits. Go fuck yourself. Get the fuck out. Get up.

Watch the popcorn. Don't trip. Cuck, sir. What's up, Herb Dean? What the fuck? The Outlaw Josie. Monday, December 1, 24 days till Christmas get your shit together, cocksuckers, you know what I'm saying? Let me give some shout outs here. Lee, you're sitting there like a fucking mummy

of death, cocksucker. Never again can you eat another edible. I wish that was true. I love you. Brandy Lee, you sexy bitch. Brandy Lynn, you sexy motherfucker. Jay Gomez, Chloe and Heath. Chris Parker. Keith Roberts. Sergio Ortega. Talking lay, I'll see you this weekend.

And Casper, 2307. Staying black, bitches. What? And listen, we're getting high. The 16 days, what's it is it? The eight days of fucking Yamaka. Hanukkah. Hanukkah, we're eating an edible a day.

Forget the 30 for 30. We'll be tapped out. But his mom leaves on the 16th. So starting Tuesday, September 16th, we're going to eat an edible and light a candle for the fucking Jews. That's how we wrote. Either you're in or you're out, all right? I can't tell you what you get your edibles.

You got to do that shit on your own. But you people think that what kills me about America is that they think that oh California, Denver, they're legal. We can't get those edibles. You don't need these edibles. Buy a quarter ounce of some fucking Mexican brown weed. Put some butter in a frying

pan. Take all the Sems down and the seeds. Cut that motherfucker up small and start cooking on a low flame and suck that butter out of that thing and let that butter go to the side and get all greenish and shit. And you already have your brownie batter mix and you squeeze that powder in. Then you throw

more weed in that motherfucker another stick of butter and you squeeze that motherfucker and the butter and you keep it all low. You see what I'm saying? You don't burn the fucking butter. Then you drain it into the brownie mix and you stare that brownie mix up again and you taste it from time to time. Who the fuck are you? And again, you fucking burn that weed all the way down, man, with light fucking, a little bit of olive oil. Mix it up nice, nice, nice.

You stare that motherfucker up. You squeeze it down. You keep dumping it in the brownie butter. You stare. And that's it. When that weed looks like death, you throw the weed away, you throw the frying pan in the water, you put some fucking bounce in there, whatever the fuck you put, soak this shit. I don't like people don't soak their shit.

You got to soak your fucking frying pan. And you get your brownie, you put some cooking spray on the tray, and you pull your brownie max in there, and you cook in the oven. It's just as good as we're getting out here. If you don't eat one, don't get you going, eat two. You'll look like leave by the end of your fucking brownie mess. Your Uncle Joey's telling you this. You don't need to eat these edibles.

This is just a lie. people selling you this shit. The best edibles I've made are the ones I've made at home. I can't believe we just gave it a recipe for how to do that. What the fuck? This is pirate fucking radio. This is a podcast. We're dropping knowledge.

Herb Deansy. I can't not give Herb Dean an education. Maybe he wants to make a fucking brownie. Who the fucking might have judged him? You know? I mean, I was listening. Sure. Now if somebody calls Herb Dean and says, you know how to make these brownies?

Joe Deers is talking about. Boom. He's Johnny on the spot, Lee. Yeah, but what about like Cassius Morris? there. He shouldn't know how to do that. Why not? Cassius Morris is slinging dick. He's working for what's his name? He's getting paid. He's 16. He was just on the news.

I know. Did you see the... Cash's Mars, don't fuck around. Cassius' little young kid does a podcast. Okay. For two years now, since he was like 13. Calling people, interviewing people, buying tickets to concerts, fight with security to get back there. Really? These people walking on, I don't know how to do a pot. Fucking Momo with the movie.

What's like... Let's watch fucking Papa, you fucking. and dummy and here's this 12 year old figured it out you unbelievable got affected I'm sorry the holidays get me all fucking hyped up hype love like public enemy anyway I'm sorry brother

what's up what's happening I'm just enjoying you man keep their pussy yeah yeah I'm excited this weekend I'm excited about these fights I like El Nino's fighting the kid from Milwaukee I don't even know who's on the end of the car now that's exciting the kid from Milwaukee

and I'm not yeah that's a good fight now how many fights are you allowed to ref a night if you have the main event. I do a rough between three and four fights. So, between two and four. So, yeah, I'll either have three or four fights. Even if you have the main event, they don't think they're overworking?

Yeah, they don't do it. Like boxing, boxing, if they have the main event, a lot of times that's the only fight they have. They'll be back in a special green room, and then they, you know, they're back there doing their thing. Us, we just rough fights all night. It's better that way. You get warmed up.

You're staying focused on what you're there to do. It's been wild lately watching the UFC. It's been, and it's getting more referee involved, it seems lately. Well, I think people are learning more about what the referees do so they can, everyone's an expert, everyone knows the rules, everyone can make a commentary, yeah. It's, yeah, I think it maybe has been a little more ref involved. Why do you say that? Well, the last couple of fights, the ref has come into the picture, it seems like.

You know, usually there's fights, this guy knocks this guy. There's always a bad decision. There's always a bad decision. But then there's always that fight, that suspect. An early stoppage, a blood thing. So right away, you're involved, Big John's involved. Even Levine is involved, Yamasaki. Somebody's questioned you.

And they go nowhere. That's what kills me about the question is. They go nowhere. It stays. That's it. You just wasted three hours of your time crying about an early stoppage, which you know nothing about. You've never been punched to the head.

I've never punched nobody to the head. You could tell by a certain sound the guy makes. Well, at the end of the day, I mean, we know why we're here. We're here to protect these guys and make sure that they don't receive any unnecessary injuries and try to make sure the event happens as clean and fair as possible. And we're not there to win a popularity contest. Now, it's great that everybody, you know, pays attention to what we do and give us some sort of respect for the things we're doing. It feels really good.

But at the end of the day, when I start counting on that or depending on that, that's when I've lost. Because my job is an official to make decisions that sometimes people aren't going to be happy about, but that I know I can sleep with it at night. And so, you know, after every channel, you know, sometimes I, no matter what, I'm going to look on the Internet and someone's going to have something to say. And before I used to never, I used to never go on the Internet. And so I was always kind of out of loop with our sport because I don't want to get involved. I've seen officials go down that path where they're on the internet

and they're arguing with kids on the underground and stuff. I'm like, don't you know that that's probably a 12-year-old you're arguing with? This dude is like, his mom's telling him to feed the cat. He's like, no, I got him on the line and he's pissed off. We're going at it. So I left the internet alone.

But now, through the social media, I do have my own social media. At first I didn't have one, but there would be guys who would make up their own fake ones of me. The only way I could get them shut down was to make my own. So no, everyone can go right to me. Everyone can just go right to me

what their opinion is. I would love for somebody that hit me. I get back from a fight. I know at the end of the fight, I know with Joe that they would give you one from the box. They always give you a copy of the fight. I know Joe would always get one at night.

Somebody would give them a copy or if you ask for it or something. But I took that up to my room and I, you know, relaxed, took a shower, got room service. I'd always look at it. Just me. would you ever be tempted to look at your tape in the night

or once it's over? No, I watch my fights. I watch fights afterwards, especially if I have some, you know, even if I don't have thoughts about it or even if I thought everything was perfect, there's fights that I've watched from years ago and I look back on, hmm, what was I thinking there?

No, why did I do that like that? You know what I mean? From years ago and, you know, and then some of my fights that happened recently, I always go back and rewatch it again. I mean, we live by that replay as soon as we're done, whether there's no one's complaining or not.

first thing you see us do when we're looking up at the replay because we want to know if we did the best possible job we could have done if there's going to be some other information from a different angle

that we might see you know what I mean so yeah we're always watching tape and always trying to think of better ways to do it like hey well like you know

I can think of a mistake I made Orloski versus a Pado you know I remember you know Arloski Pado is like going after a footlock

and I'm wondering and then Pade up Arlowski's hitting them in the head head and I'm trying to get close because I think he might be putting him out. But in my mind, I'm thinking, man, Arlowski's got incredible base. How is he not getting rolled from this footlock? How's he not getting, how's he keeping his base like that? Well, he was grabbing the fence. I didn't see it because of my position. He's so tall. He's grabbing the fence over me. But that's

an adjustment I've made, you know, and since then, always up against there, I have a new position that I always pick at that time so that I'm able to see everything, you know, and that's what we're there to do. I can tell when I see other events, Like they call me today. You know, I'm going to Vegas in the morning. They call me today. Can you go and come in for this thing at 2.30? That means I won't get to Vegas to 6 or 7 o'clock at night, which sucks because I want to go to the weighing.

The weighing is my chance to look. I smell. I smell. You smell certain things. You see certain things. Not that I'm going to gamble. I'm not one of those assholes, but it's always just good to know to see if it affects the fight. You know?

In your mind, wow. He was all skinny yesterday, looking all green and shit. like he ate one of the Lee's edibles, but now look at him, he's all slim Jim McGoo. Just little things, and you see if they're scared, if they have a lot on their mind, how they're acting, if they're jovial, if they're just relaxed, you know,

I love seeing all that shit. Yeah. I think that sometimes the fight is won and lost there by how they come out and their confidence level. You know, there's ways... No, you're true. We've seen some things, you know, with Anderson, when he put the mask on,

and you get people rattled up and gets them out of their game. I always talk about one of the greatest ones of all time was Roberto Durand before he sport Sugar Ray Leonard. They were in Toronto walking in the street and they were walking at each other. Sugar Ray had his family with him. And Sugar Ray stopped and he goes, honey, this is Roberto, Roberto. And Roberto's like, tell your wife to suck my dick and all this shit and fucking Sugar Ray.

That was it. He took him out of his game. After the fight, I'm going to have a suck my dick real good and swallow my fucking come, you fuck. You know, in front of his kids. That's it. Wow, that happened. That's it.

Yeah, get the Duran book, get the Sugar Ray books. Sugar Ray talks about it in one of the specials on HBO he did years ago. He goes, he said things to me that were fucking, I couldn't even put him in my computer. That's when he lost everything for him. He was like, this guy's a fucking thug. He's a street garbage. No, that was his way of fucking with you, Duran. You know, he just got you.

That's it. You know, when Muhammad Ali fought Joe Frazier was. wasn't he out there pointing a gun on him he had a started pistol and he kept going over in Africa come on down Joe I'm going to shoot you and you know just to get him out of the fucking Joe Frey's like

is this motherfucker or George Foreman was one of him he was in Africa and he was like was this motherfucker really going to shoot me come on down Joe you know whatever the fuck that's people fucking with you that's taking you out of your game you know he's I mean mom and I leave one of the best in the game of doing that shit

Yeah, you hear a lot of the jokes that some of these fighters do to each other, you know? Didn't it just happen? Didn't it just happen? People awake or different things that frustrate them and things like that, yeah. Keep people awake? Well, they'll, like, maybe, like, send their friends, have their friends, find out where the room is at and play pranks and all those kind of things, you know? I think it just happened with Tito Ortiz and Stephen Bomber.

It came out, like, a couple days after their fight. What happened? That Tito Ortiz was sending Stephen Bonner pizzas and girls, so, like, at the middle of the night, he had to go and get, like, a Motel 6 or something. right next door. I heard something about that, but that's not the, that's a pretty old,

old trick like guys would do that a lot. I don't seem like, I think it's probably pretty hard to find out where these guys are at now, but that's what guys used to do. I think one of the weirdest fights this year that was on the other night, I watched Frankie Egg against Club Cubbs

Swanson, I was out of town, and I watched it that night when I came home, I thought it was phenomenal. I didn't get to see it. I forgot how good Frankie Ague was. You forget. how good these guys are. And that night I couldn't sleep.

I went to bed early and I got up at three and the main event was on the UFC channel and it was two fights. It was Chris Wyden Anderson Silver, the first one. And it was on Oliveira against Frank Yeager. I don't even know

what the fuck I'm going with this, right? What the fuck was I watched? God damn, I forgot what the fuck we were talking about. See that? I'm sorry about this. It's a good place. No, I'm thinking about something about the referee. Guys, oh yeah, we talked about the referee. We talked about guys doing things and get guys out of their game.

We talked about, I don't know. Who the fuck knows? See what I'm saying? I look at you and I get all emotional. Sorry. We're here with the fucking. What about you? You were doing any stand-up lately?

When's the next stand-up, you know? I'm home now. This Friday, I'm going to be at the South Point Casino in Vegas, the dirty at 1230. I'm going to swing by there and do some jokes. You know, I'm going to go to Vegas and just swing by. I said just get out of town. I'm home for the month of December. I don't like flying this fucking month.

This month is a... Right, right. You know, all you have to do is go to Vegas this month, or maybe Phoenix. I'm going to go to... I'm going to be around here, and then I'm going to go to Vegas, and then I'm going to go to Vegas twice,

and then I'm going to go to Phoenix. Right, you've got to go to Phoenix. So that's it, but you're home, you know? Every year people sit at home and see people at the airport with blankets on and Chinese people breathing on you, and they're like, look at these assholes. Now you're becoming one of those assholes,

so I don't want to fly. There's no reason for me to fly in that window. It's just a cause. Look at this weekend. It happened last weekend in Chicago. There was drama already? They had a 1.2 mile long security line. What?

So many flights were canceled. Like this reporter measured how long the security line was. One point two fucking miles. You want to fly and see your family. Yeah, I believe it. Midway, I think. I believe it. I believe it.

I believe it. I believe it. A couple weeks got to Portland, the security line was fucking huge. They're getting big. But now it's a man. ain't making you take off your shoes. Yeah, Boston didn't make me.

None belts. No, no, they're not making you... They're telling you to come through with everything. You're jacking on, you're sleeping on, you sleep back, and you... I don't even take the computer out of the back. That's the suckers. Just leave it in there. They're not going to fucking know.

Don't take it out no more. Herb Dean. Fuck those motherfuckers. I never do. Tell them, Herb Dean. But they take it... You know what they always ask me to take it out again. You don't know nothing.

You're deaf. Give him fucking signals. Whatever. Just throw pan signals. They don't... Oh, he's deafly him on a little suicide. They don't fucking know. When is the next referee?

Next referee clinic? Yeah. That's going to be, I do it every year. April. Okay, right. It's my third this year. Single to mile because, uh-huh. Well, yeah, it's May 3rd, but I do it on the single-day mile weekend.

Because I know that Mayweather usually is beating up somebody on that day. So I know there's not going to be a UFC usually. So that's usually I do it. Cinco de Mayo weekend is very interesting. Well, now that's, throwing them into the hat, it looks like Mayweather's going to have to fight, but who gives a fuck? By the time they're fighting, they're going to be 84. Who wants to watch that fucking psychiatric ward fight? I don't need that shit in my life.

And how many days is the clinic? It was two days, but I'm going to expand it to three. Just to do what? What are you at? Well, just because there's so much stuff to cover and, you know, we do long days on those two days. Sometimes we're doing 12-hour days easily. It's a lot of material to comprehend. Yeah, it's a lot of material to cover, so I want to add another day. Do you put a lot of them on tape and they get to see each other?

Oh, yeah. A lot of tape, a lot of tape. I put them on tape. Well, because one of the things that we do is there's, we teach the unified rules and scoring criteria and, you know, referee mechanics and stuff like that and talk about a, you know, we watch my mistakes and things like that. But then also I want to make sure that people understand the sport because sometimes people are like, well, I want to be around this sport. It's a pretty sexy sport, but I don't want to get punched in the face. so maybe I'll be an official. So I want to make sure that they understand the sport,

so I have them teach me technique, and we put it on video, and it's pretty cool. What kind of technique? I haven't teach me, you know, they're there to evaluate. As a judge, you're there to evaluate the effectiveness of the mixed martial arts technique. So I'm going to have them, you know, okay, show me your game, you know, on the cage,

you know, show me some cage control on there. Teach me by the numbers. Teach me at DARFs by the numbers. And so they teach it, and then, you know, I have evaluators there that fill out a form on the technique. Was it, you know, that they show competence and then it's all on on tape so they say well hey I think my technique was stunning you just don't know what you're talking about that's fine we can have

somebody else look at the tape some of the tapes are pretty funny um and then also if you're a referee you have to understand the what people are doing so you can keep them safe you know part of our job is to do a little submission defense for the guy when he taps out when he can't do anything about it or unlock the chokes after the guy taps out if you don't know how the submissions work you can't help the guy defend against them. So at least you want to know that you, do you understand the stuff and the details it takes to do it to someone who's not letting you.

It's not, you just can't say, you know what, this looks like a career move from me. I'm going to go pay for this and get in there. You want the guy to be an established martial arts. Not much established. Right. But at least to have no two years, be a blue belt maybe.

Yeah, to understand the techniques. Have them been taught. Yeah. Maybe hung around a gym for a while, spart with some people, kicked in the mouth. Exactly. You know, how somebody's walking or one of the most controversial fights this year.

The other day I still saw people talking about it was the Cuban kid against Tim Kennedy. And the more I look at it, like the other day they brought it up again on UFC, and that was Big John's fight. Yeah, that was a Big John. That was a Big John fight. And the big thing was that at the end of the day, he had Vaseline, too much Vaseline on his face. Right, right. He was stalling a little bit, but still he was, would you have done anything different?

You know, I'm not here questioning Big John. I'm just saying what we all learned. Yeah, he's a good. But I think what happened is when he, when Big John went to correct it, then, you know, there's a little bit of confusion with the, with the corners and whatnot right there. So it ended up turning into this long who's on first kind of a thing, you know what I mean? So it was just one of those situations that every now and then kind of happens, you know. And then I believe there are some language issues as well, you know.

So I'm not sure I don't want to speak for him on what it was. Well, he's Cuban. Yeah. Cuban people know how to work it. They understand English when it's beneficial to them. I'm not sure if it wasn't him, I think. But yeah, who, but I believe there was. They were one of those corner guys.

Yeah, one of this corner. Cubans have the funniest corners. You know who's got the funniest corner in the business? Who's that? Jorge Madrewa. Yeah? The guy who corners him has to be one of the funniest Cubans I've ever heard because he says things that are fucking hilarious.

How I'm not George Maddavow and I just don't call time out to laugh is beyond me. Like what's he said? Meta-e-e-e-a-e-tas-o. That means bit-slap him. You can't bit-slape somebody in the UFC. You know, metam-a-bata-Hulu, you know, Spanish people and their fighters at heart,

the boxers, their corners are so unorthodox. Because it sounds fucking barbaric in Spanish, the way they say. But I always hear the corner say, metham gaet-a-thos, which means smack them, like, open-handed. You know, you can't smack somebody open fucking handle like that, you know, like in the 50s, like a Clark Gable type smack.

But he has a hilarious fucking corner. I forget this shit. I always tell Jojo, you have to make a point to listen to Madreval's corner. How emotional they get and how they talk to him. Didale. Didale means shoot. But in Spanish, it seems different. It works.

So didale means throw those punches. Didale, you know, let those hands. Hands loose, but they just say, Thiele, that covers all the bases. Theola covers everything in Spanish. It's not like in English. I have to say four different meanings to one thing. But he has a funny fucking corner. What, Lee?

Look at the shape of you, Lee. Fucking mushroom, whatever the shirt on. What are you going to eat tonight? You're sitting there looking at me, looking at me, thinking about a Cuban sandwich, aren't you? You're thinking to yourself as one. It's Mambo open tonight. We went to a Cuban restaurant at the other night. Myself, my wife, the baby, Lee.

We got some nice Cuban fucking piccadillo, some chopped beef With some olives in that motherfucker With some black beans and rice We got the combo platter A couple fried bananas Some empanadas, some croquettas made of ham Come on now Where's this at?

Right in Glendale on Victory Boulevard You eat Cuban food, dog Oh yeah, yeah, yeah You don't fuck around, do you? The Triso was really good The chorizo was on fire I don't fuck around, no one Those Cubans do it right there from Newark

so at least we got something to talk about, you know. Fucking Herb Dean's in the house. I'm so excited. I'm a fan of Herb Dean. I'm a fan of what you do, and I'm a fan of, in our conversations, I'm a fan of what you stand for. I never knew that that's what you stood for.

To keep the fighters safe. And it's, you know, it's a nice feeling. I know you were in there with Anderson Silver. That must have been those are screams you were here for fucking life when you hear that type of shit, you know. It's a tough job that you know. I got a lot of respect for you, man. It's like you say with Anderson.

You know, we see our heroes get in there and put it all on the line, and it's real. It's really happening, right? People are going in there and they're taking risk. You know, they're not playing tidly wings. It's a tough sport, you know. It's a very tough sport. Where can they find you? What webpage can they?

Herbdeen.com. Yep. Herbdeen. That's got the referee schedule. It's got the referee school. If you want to follow me on Twitter, that's Herb Dean MMA. Same with Instagram. And I think my, I think my Facebook is Herb Dean UFC.

You know, and that was funny. That one got started by this kid. He was on there pretending to be me. He was saying horrible things. He was saying like, he was saying like, he was saying things that I didn't mean. He was saying horrible things. He was like, he was like, was quoting like all kinds of gangster rappers. Like those kind of stuff I was saying, sometimes I like it.

You know what I mean? I was like, I don't want to repeat the things he was saying. But people were harassing him so much. Like this is not, but he had like 10,000 followers. He had a lot of people who didn't like me on there too. Then finally he gave it up to me, you know? he gave me the um he called me he said okay i want to turn it and it turned out to be

like i think he was a 19 year old kid from from uh australia 19 an australia kid i see the picture of a little girlfriend a little skinny little neck you know me and i was so mad i was like why did you say all those things he's like well i like rap music and basketball players so i just you know kind of and i like you know i like you and so i just kind of brought all my favorite things together and i figured you know those things that you would say i was like well i don't say those things And he even gave me his address. I was like,

livid, but I wasn't letting him out. He's like, could you send me some stuff, an autograph thing? I go, why, for building this up for you?

So, yeah, give me an address. He gave it to me. You know, I had another guy, the funniest dude was the Twitter guy.

He was smoked the herb dean. Have ever told you about this guy? No, a smoke and herb dean. Okay, this dude, he went by Smoke the Herb Dean. And this dude was so funny.

And when I first found out of it, people were saying, are you saying this stuff on Twitter? And I'm like, no. And this dude portrayed me as if I was always high in ethnocentric, right? So everybody was some sort of niggily or something like that. And that's, I was like, like my comments on the Kimbo Slice versus Big Country, do you remember that fight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Big Country laid on Kimbo, it was like, okay, here's the comic goes, nothing I heard worse than watching a badass cracker lay up on a swole ass brother and give a warded for it.

That was the comment. I was like, and people were, thinking it was me and he would say stuff like that all the time and like when I first saw I was so mad but then all of a sudden I just clicked and I just started laughing I was rolling and my lawyer he was calling go I car and go okay wait before you send the letter let me like send around to a few my friends so we can laugh so like me and savon you know who went to the jail we were yeah me and me and savon we just rolled for about a week just saying all the stuff and like just crazy stuff this dude was said and then they shut him down but I kind of miss him I wish that uh smoked the I wish that he was back.

You smoke to Irvdine. If you're listening, you know, reach out to me, you know what I'm saying? Because you were funny. Oh, my God. How somebody could take

somebody's identity and just say shit is fucking hilarious. I made a Bill Cosby joke and this is Bill Cosby dude on fucking Facebook that was saying some stuff to me that was hilarious.

Like he knew me, but I love all that shit. That's, you know, kids are doing crazy stuff, but that's tremendous where they smoke He smoked the herb dean. No, he was funny, you know.

I'm not trying to give anybody ideas or whatever. I don't know. But damn, yeah, it was funny. Oh, my God. I would love to do that to somebody. Just fucking say shit and get away with murder. I would say some horrible. Like who?

Who would you want to take over? I don't know. Who do I hate, Lee? What do you think? Who would I take over? Like who? I don't know. Give an idea.

What the fuck, Lee? You know my idea. Nature Valley? Nature Valley, who? The ranch company. Oh, yeah. Like to make the... I hate ranch fucking dressing.

Just talking about it, it motivates me, you understand? Just talking about it, like, it's smelling the fucking air, right? That would be really funny if you were to be Nature Valley. Really? Yeah, I guess thinking of all kinds of stuff you could say is Nature Valley. Suck my dick. It's the same jizz that comes out. Yeah, stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, that is brilliant. Keep sucking that fucking ranch dressing. Keep thinking about my nuts smell like. you filthy fucks put that shit on your lettuce you dirty motherfuckers look at me I'm writing advertising for them already I haven't even opened up my fucking Herb Valley page what's the name of the page major valley whatever fuck on it dot com you got two hours to make a move and then you fuck 25% off of vitamins and minerals 18% off of weights and anything else

they have look at the MCT oil like I tell you every I'm sick of fucking telling you motherfuckers alpha brain that's it two words 100% money guarantee They don't want the shit back start with that You go to a Chinese restaurant If you order the fucking Mugu guy pan It's cerebral you got nowhere to go You should deserve to get bit slapped

You deserve to shit blood for three days You always open up small You open up with the pork fried rice The spare ribs and the soup If that shit sucks Where the fuck you're gonna go? You got nowhere to go You understand what I'm coming from? Go to honor dot com. Start with the alpha brain

If the alpha brain ain't for you We shake hands and part friends You get 10% off Try it you get a money back guarantee I guarantee you'll be working on both cylinders. You're walking around half retarded. You're tired. You don't know what's going on.

You're chick sucking somebody else's dick. You don't need the aggravation. Get on point, bitch. Alpha brain through honor. Whether it's the MCT oil, the Shroom Tech, they got something for you to make you better. We're not talking about vitamins and minerals. We're talking about human optimization, bitches.

Go to honor.com and press in. Church. Oh, shit. In the box. What do they get? 10%? Well, they get, there's a sale for two hours. Two hours.

But then 10% off. But let's say you make. missed the sale, you ain't got the fucking rent money, boom, you're back, all right, bitches. Who takes care of you like Uncle Joey? Honored.com, your little New Year's resolution starts onit.com. My fuck around. My peeps over here. Alphabrain, okay.

Alfa brain, keeps you sharp. Just next time you see Joe, Joe goes, send me a couple of boxes of Alphabrain. It'll get up. Iron Dragon TV. The streaming TV channel focused on martial arts. Plain and simple. Some night you're going to drive home. You don't want to watch no fucking half a fag movie.

You don't want to let's none of that shit. You know what? I'm going to move for some classic kung fu. I'm going to move for a little Jackie Chan. You go to Iron Dragon TV.com, and what are you pressing Lee? Joey. Joey, and you get two free fucking movies on the arm. That's how I wrote.

I'm not going to make you go there and pay none. If afterwards, you want to join what to cost? It's fucking pennies. I'm not sure I'll have to check. You have to check, Lee. What the fuck you're doing here? This is Chow Young Fat. The 10 brothers are Chow Lin.

These motherfuckers are throwing heat on here. If you're into classic kung fu, and they got the future kung fu. And this is Nanotech. They sponsor fighters. My man Dave Foley was supposed to go down there on Wednesday. He's going to be on the podcast Wednesday night to break it down for you, bitches. Once you hear him break it down, I guarantee you will be a part of Iron Dragon TV.

They're the fucking future after January 1st, the 4K TV. Who's going to have the technology for you? Iron Dragon TV! Chinese people are still going to fly through the fucking air in your television. Everybody else is going to be sitting there going, what happened to the Chinese people? You know why? Because you got Iron Dragon TV. Roku.

All right, Hitty Sigs. Everybody's going to quit smoking. Everybody's walking around coughing. When you eat pussy, you got a big lump in your throat of hair and fucking hummus and whatever else is in your throat. You get that cigarette smoke. You smell like dick. You don't need this no more.

Go to HittiesSigs.com. Start your resolution right now. You quit smoking. They got 24 milligrams, 16 milligrams, 8 milligrams, and zero. You work yourself backwards. You won't be smoking by the new year. You quit today. Fuck being some Harvey.

I'm going to wait through January. You worry first. Quit now. So you could talk shit at the fucking parties and blow smoking people's faces. You also get the fucking cigar. 1,200 pups. They last longer and they taste better.

I love this fucking cigar. I go to Vegas. I have 15 of them in my pocket with a couple joints. That's eye roll. Go to Hiddy6.com right now. Press what in the box? Joey's church. Oh shit.

And what do they get? 20% off. 20% off. Anything there. Go there right now. different flavors if you want to smoke blackberries whatever cherries menthols whatever you're into different fucking numbers and milligrams go to hit these things.com and get your shit together breathe it's a beautiful day to be alive you know what i'm saying i'm doing i got to break it down for these

bitches and last but not least my fucking people david and peter up there at nailed at life.com you want to smoke the herb you want to have a t-shirt with a pipe with hitler blowing the bong hit go to nelditlif.com they got vapor pens for you 20% off They got t-shirts, they got hats. They'll take care of you. Let's say one of your lasers breaks in your vapor, you call Dave Direct. We'll have it to your house the next day. You won't miss a day smoking vapor.

You know why? That's how we roll, Lysayette. What the fucking think you're dealing with you? Coa and Joey Diaz. That's right. We're 15 days away from Hanukkah, and that's when our little menorah a day edible is going to start. We're going eight days straight.

What you have to say about that, Lisa. It's going to be crazy eight days. What the fuck, Lee. Drop a pair on. Grab your boy. Look up at the sky. Ask yourself, why do I have, why did God or Allah or whatever fucking God you belong to give me these nuts? So I go walk around and go see fucking movies with some fucking girl about people with blow, bow and arrows and shit. Fuck no, you're going to go home and watch 8mmy tonight.

Straighten this guy out. Where are you, Herb Dean? When are you going to go visit Herb Dean and Pasadena with some campbell karate or some shit? You're always welcome. What days you teach up there, Herb? I'm there. I train on Mondays and Wednesdays. Take a Lee up there with you to do some. Teach them how to throw a flying sidekick.

Without the ropes, please. Tomorrow, though, I'm going to go see Eddie Bravo. I haven't taken him down there with you tomorrow. Take the train on it. Don't you take a train downtown to eat French fries? I'm going down to eat French fries with cheese on. French fries? Yeah, the potatoes. Oh, yeah.

Go see Eddie Bravo tomorrow. Your little mushroom shirt, who's better than you, Cocksucker. Herb Dean, what are your New Year's resolutions this year? What do you want to do? You know, I don't have any yet. now it's a good idea to start thinking of something I usually don't make resolutions you know people always go for this non-shit and they crack by the

14th you know what my my um as far as far as the fitness one that's the big one right that's the big one just you know what got was really was really interesting I've noticed I've been to this cycle the last few years November hits when November hits everything changes I started eating better I start working out better and I realize what it is it's the light

when the light changes I don't feel like sitting in the backyard drinking beer barbecuing and all that i'm like on it i just want to eat a salad go to the gym you're healthy dude you look good out there though no well thank you man i try i try to be you know you can't be a fat fuck refereeing it just doesn't look right i couldn't be out there refereeing no matter how even for a while big day big uh john was big you wanted a big time diet years ago when he worked a lot more it's tough being a fat dude just for personal opinion you know i'm a comics at this point it helps me out it fucks me up sometimes from time to time.

I think about it a lot. You know, I think about what I'm eating. I think about what I shouldn't eat. You know, I'm going to work on a movie next week. Those are the fucking kisses of debt. A movie is a kiss of death. With 24 hours, they got raisinets. You know, I told them today no raisinets on this movie.

Last time they had raisin nets everywhere. Those raisinets fucking put 10 pounds on me. I love raisinets. They drive me fucking crazy. You signed the fucking sponsor sheet. We want Raisinets. Because I could sell raisin nets. You understand.

The reason that's a good breakfast lunch you do. Get it together. You're slipping. Write this shit down. Herb Dean, I will see you Friday night at the South Point. Hopefully, you come over.

I wish I would. Nah, it's too late for you. Well, no, no, I would normally be there. I would normally do it. But the thing is,

I think I'm going to be referring to fight Friday here, and I won't be able to get up there to the morning. So you'll come up late. Saturday morning or drive up Friday night. When I'll get there, it'll be like maybe the show might be over. But any other time, I haven't seen for a while.

I'm about due, man. You don't come out that much. I'm about to do. It's tough to go on the road every week, raise a family, be a husband, work out. You know, you have eight hats. But you know, the thing about it is, actually, I chill out on, because I used to see you guys a lot more often. And then, like, I'm like, man, you know, I want to let my boys get some material. You know, I don't want to be seeing them every, like, see the next week afterwards.

You know what I mean? I like when people, I get embarrassed when my friends come. I get embarrassed how they feel about my material and shit. Sometimes I go off. sometimes, you know. Whatever, it would just be good seeing you. I'll see you Saturday night at the hotel. Maybe I'll see you walking around after the fights.

I'm excited. I haven't been to a fight in a while, so I'm very excited about going this week. This is going to be good. I'm a big fan of Gilbert's. I like Gilbert as a human being. You know, I like him. I don't know Robbie Law or Fidel, personally.

I don't know the kids from walking. You know, I don't really know a lot of people. But I'm excited. Lee's going to come. Yeah, Lee hooked up. He's going to drive out on Friday night like a soldier. you know what are you gonna do here Lee nothing no I'm excited

maybe we'll do a little edible run out there two Friday and Saturday in Vegas so after the south point that there's nothing more for December because I do want to come to you soon because you have me rolling man I mean the one used to do about the cat man the cat oh yeah yeah yeah no no I'm around

a New Year's Eve I'm doing it to Ice House right in your neighbor 8 o'clock you know you're always family New Year's Eve 8 o'clock you're out of there by 10 done boom you're on your way home fucking jumping up down you can practice refereeing in your living room. Right, right. You know, fuck it, yeah, I'm right here, the Ice House

New Year's Eve. Leasin will be there with a tuxedo home. We're going to get them in an ice tux. You know, Greg and Lynn send you a robe. I've got to go pick it up to them. Oh, that's nice, thank you. To send you a row, finally. We'll take pictures of you with the fucking robe on, with gel in your hair. You'll be smoking. I love you, cock suckers. Thank you very much for listening. Don't forget,

December 17th. We're at the Laugh Factory, the live podcast, and New Year's Eve at the motherfucking ice house. And that's it. I want to thank our sponsors on it. Iron DragonTV.com Hit eSigs.com and nailed it life. I just had like a brain fuck there.

I thought about the fights for some reason. I'm sorry to my sponsors. You know, I love you, motherfuckers. Thank you very much. Thank you, Erb Dean, for making the trip down. You know, I love you, to all my heart. I'm trying to get you on for a while. And I'm ready for your podcast or your show.

So whenever get me on, I want to do some interview on with you. Okay, hey, thank you for having me. Oh, please. family. I want to get you in studio so we can talk shit. Thank you very much. See you cocksuckers Wednesday night. Same back time. Same bad channel. Just like that.

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