The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #242 - Joel Crandall, Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: December 24, 2014

Joel Crandall, Kinesiologist and Owner Of Physio Care Center in Los Angeles, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. Recorded live on 12/24/2014.Music:Forty Six & 2 - ToolSo This Is Christmas - John Legend

Hello everyone. Merry Christmas. This show is sponsored to you by NatureBox. NatureBox ships great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with healthy and delicious treats like dark cocoa almonds. Support this podcast by ordering a free NatureBox sample box at NatureBox.com at NatureBox.com. That's right, totally free Naturebox snacks are found at Naturebox.com slash Joey. Shows also brought to you by MeUndies.com. Go to MeUndies.com and check out the pictures they have of the men's and women underwear they have and they have shirts and socks and a whole bunch of products.

Right now go to meundees.com slash joey and you're going to get 20% off of your first order. And for a very limited time they're doing free shipping in the United States and Canada. Again, that's meundies.com slash joey. Go to on it.com and use code word church to get 10% off of any of their great supplement products like alpha brain, new mood, shroom tech immune, shroom tech sport. It's code word church to get 10% off. and the show is also brought to you by Iron Dragon TV Iron Dragon TV is a brand new Roku channel

it has all your favorite martial arts films from the Itman series Joey just said they added a new a new movie A Sunny Chiba movie Go to Iron Dragon TV and use co-word Joey and you're going to get two free rentals of all their martial arts movies Oh shit

Oh shit We never open up this church with Tool, but it's Christmas Eve motherfuckers. And we're going deep. Like Lee on a Monday night. Deep, deep, deep. I don't know if I ever taken an end up all nine in the morning. We took a bunch of six in the morning.

I gave Lee an edible this morning for Christmas. 10 milligrams left. 10 milligrams. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get up, wash your pussy. Shine your shoes. You don't want to be out there like a fucking momo walking around. Oh shit.

It's Christmas Eve You want to look good You want to feel good It's all over The church Joel Cranston is with us today Lee Syatt's with us today Hello

Is it the last day of Hanukkah I think last night was You didn't do shit Fuck no You ate three edibles On eight days You should be ashamed of yourself What type of Jew are you, cuckusker?

Yeah but I probably ate about 27 servings of edibles What's happened, buddy? No, that I messed up today. What happened? And I called you and I have a couple of gifts that need cards, like Christmas cards for my girlfriend. So I went to CVS and I picked up two. I went to the cash register.

I was still waking up. I paid for it. As I was walking out, I looked at the receipt. It was 12 bucks. I looked down. One of the cards was $9. And I was just like, what is happening? I thought there were $2.

It doesn't even really matter. But I just picked them two cards. I was like, oh, she looked at. dogs, these two of dogs? I picked up three cards and one nasal spray and a pack of gum was 41 bucks at CVS. I didn't realize it until the walkout.

Wow. You don't realize so many things until you're walking out or are you going, what the fuck did I do that for? How did that happen in my life, you know? It costs more. I, two of my gifts for Paula are under what that card cost. I got a, she's at the gym. I got her a movie and a t-shirt.

The t-shirt was like five bucks. There's a picture of a pug on it in the Santa hat. And I got her in a movie, and it was like $8. So it's less than a freaking Christmas card. What are you going to do? It's Christmas. What do you give a fuck about? You know?

You're going to go over there tonight and play Mexican lot of domino. Loteria? You got a couple edibles in you. I do. That's going to be interesting. You come by the house around 430. We'll do a few bong hits before you go over there. It's Christmas Eve.

Forget about your calories. Oh, yeah. You're going to go over there. She's making tamales. Yeah, you're at a Mexican house. You've got no calories. There's no cold. Yeah, there's no chance.

The fucking thing goes off to meet today. And there's not even desserts. Just sweet tamales. Yeah. So, they just back food. There's no salad there today. There's no lettuce. There's never been salad.

There's no hummus. There's no tabuki. They don't even have pepper on their table. They have two salt shakers. They don't have any. That's fucking hilarious. Joe Cranston. Talk to me, baby.

How are you, my buddy? How are you, my buddy? I've been trying to get you on here. You called in once. when John Evan was on, but it wasn't the phone or something. And I didn't think that the people had gotten the full patois of what you do and who the fuck the doctor was. I have no knee pain today.

Awesome. I have soreness. I'm doing the kettlebells and the bicycle. But that little knee pain I had and the side there, when I went to physical therapy, they told me that that pain is where a lot of muscles meet there or something. Yeah, there's a few. Some might have pulled something like a hamstring or something. I don't know.

I didn't get the new toe ring though, but I'm going to go today. I watched that one and put this one on. Perfect. Wait, you have toe rings? Not a toe ring. Tell them that. It's a silicone toe spacer. Oh, okay.

It just keeps the big toe apart so you can push off of it a little bit better. Okay. Yeah. That's brilliant. How much of your profession is learning? Like, how often does it change? Because you go to medical school for eight years and then you have to do all that training. And then even in podcasting and technology stuff,

changes so quickly. But medicine people have their lives in your hands, so it must be constant. I learn with every client I work on. So it's evolving every day, every client. So what are you, let's get it out. Because I went on the web page

today. You are a I'm an exercise physiologist and a kinesiologist. There you go. Okay. Because I didn't want, last time I called your chiropractor on your face turn ready. And I said, fuck I ain't going to call him no chiropractor no more and shit. And what is, where'd you go to college at?

Oh, it's a SUNY Cortland. It's a big phys ed school in upstate New York, and it's where the men are men and the women are, too. So it's one of those places. And that's what schools are like when you go to a football game, you see the trainers on the sidelines. That's who goes to those schools. The kinesiology. Yeah, it's a big teaching school, too. And kinesiology, when you study kinesiology, what does it cover exactly?

It's basically it's the study of human, movement. So you're watching movement and seeing if there's a dysfunctional movement pattern in it. I got a complete dysfunctional fucking movement. I'm pigeon-toed, one legs longer than the other, got one nut bigger than the other. You know, it's a fucking leg. But, Joey, you have the best feet I've ever worked on. And what determines that? Of the mobility of your feet. Really? Are awesome. Perfect. And people don't have good mobility in their feet? No. Most people do not. I have flat feet. I can't do shit.

See? I hate it. So yeah, it's good. So what type of people come to you for help? Most people that come to me have been to physical therapy. They've been to chiropractice and they're not getting better. So they'll come to me after that as a desperation to see if they can get some help. And probably over 90% of the time I can get it.

So it's fun for me to do that. And just to help people that, you know, It kind of lost hope, and to give them a little bit of hope that they can get better. How do you deal with people's expectations of getting it done quickly? Like, there's a new sign at my gym that annoys me every time I see it. Because this is the first time I've been at a gym, and now it's getting busier with people with the New Year's resolutions and stuff. But there's a big sign at the front that says get super fit, super fast with, like, one of their classes. And I've noticed, like, when I go to the gym, I go around the same time every day.

And I've noticed people who are there all the time, but then I notice people who come once or twice and never come back. Like, how hard is it for you to be like, okay, this is going to take, it's not going to be one visit, and then your back's going to be better? Well, sometimes it is for me. I can, like, I've had people that are going to chiropractor for, like, six months, six weeks, and they're not getting any better in one session. I have them better.

Really? Yeah. Okay. Now, you have to understand it depends on the situation of what the person is coming in for, you know, but typically I can get them better in three or four sessions. Wow. Yeah. It's amazing what we live with.

I had a root canal last week. I went to the doctor four weeks ago when he has. He says, you got to replace that tooth back there. We'll yank it and we'll put a crown. Whatever the fuck they got. I don't even know the wording on this. So he put a substitute in there for a few weeks until the thing got made. December 2nd, I walked back in.

As he's taking the substitute out, he goes, Joey, you need a root canal, the tooth in front of it. Because if I put this on, it's going to... I'm going to have to go back in there later. I can put it on for you. No worries. We're going to be back in eight months, fucking complaining, or this weekend, I don't want you in pain over the holidays.

I said, do the root canal. Do you know that I went home and I feel a lot better? Because the last year, I've been walking around with a little bit of pain. Really? Not subconscious. You know, you chew on this side. And the other day, I tried. Shoot on this side for the first time.

I was like, that's amazing how much better I feel. We don't even know. Finally, I went to see you yesterday. I've had that pain for four weeks. I just kept thinking I was going to go away. I wanted to go see you anyway, say hello, and you work on my whole body and the whole thing. Plus my acupuncture takes a whole month of December off.

Oh, nice. So I didn't get my adrenals clean this month. It's a fucking nightmare. She's not coming back to the sixth. Get it to get it, get it, Dr. Amy. Yeah, Dr. Amy, with the weed and stuff, she always cleans my adrenals and keeps the gallbladder. Because the T-8C gets sticky in your gallbladder. She breaks it down for me, so she's like, I want to keep that valve going.

But we walk around with pain sometimes. After a while, it's amazing what we accept in our daily lives because we have so many other things on our mind that occupy. It's not pain that you're like, oh, like Anderson Silver, when he broke his leg. It's this You know If you had it in your ears It'd be like a slight buzzing But you just live over

And you avoid it You have a life to do And you So when people come in to you And like yesterday I came in Last night I started a little bit of pain I went to the University

I walked around I went to Orange County To the show last night It was fucking crazy Really? Yeah done by George Perez And And you know

When I got home last night I iced them Both of them Just because I had done the kettlebells And I rode the bike And the bike goes up to like resistance of 14 so you're pushing you know so I know I'm so I put two icebags on then I did I put the electrodes on last night this morning I woke up I still have this sore

but that pain this guy nice and I'm like Jesus Christ I can't believe I was living with this shit you know and you just live with it after a while you go fuck it what am I going to do but that's always scary I always read news articles like he had this pain and then he goes to the thing and he has cancer and well it always scares well you know if you have a pain in your fucking heart that you got to go to the doctor and he's like he has to die and I mean like a pain your wrist because you fell down the stairs when you were drunk one night and you just keep taking the leaves You just keep taking the leaves and you know it's not bro. You know how many people do not have insurance in this country From the age of 15 to the age of

Ninety-seven Dirty something I didn't have insurance So I was a Puerto Rican doctor if I could survive without going to emergency rooms and shit you just don't Number two you have the fear factor Some people don't really want to fucking know, Lee. If I have an ear ache for 10 weeks, not in the ear, but above the ear, and I feel tumor there, a guy like me will say, fuck it. Before I met you, like 15 years ago, I'd say, fuck it.

I'll wait for the tumor to come out and I'll die. There's people who don't want to fucking know. And then one day somebody talks to men to going to the doctor, and they had, like, a fat ball on their head. And it was that easy. I had this thing on my neck. And every time my heartbeat, the thing would swell. I didn't tell anybody. I was like, fuck it, I got cancer.

I ain't going to tell him. I'll just snort coke to the ball flies out of my fucking shoulder someday. And I went to a doctor. My wife, at the time was my girlfriend, Marilyn Martinez, who died, talked me into going to the doctor. And it was a fat ball that was benign. A little surgery, and I was gone. Most people don't do that.

I had a fear of needles. And I still went down there because of my cats. I liked my cats so much. I don't want to die in my fucking cats. Fuck the girlfriend. Fuck this comedy shit. And my friends, it's those cats that don't want to leave behind. But there's just so many things that we tolerate after a while,

that we don't even know. And people must come in to you and go, you know what I had this? You tell me a story with the lady with the knee, with the ACL. Yeah. Some fuck. And you sit there and look, it's like the people who, their windshield breaks. And they'll do everything they can, not to get a new fucking windshield. Put the rag on there.

They'll put the rag on there. The fucking duct tape with the little eyes. You're going to have to pay me now. I'll pay me later. Go see this fucking guy. Right, yeah, before it gets worse. I'm sure that happens a lot. Yeah, they wait until it's too late.

Yeah, people come see you at the last resort before. Now on television they sell, which is the worst thing in the world. Because I suffer from sleep happening. And I know that you have to go to the doctor, get a machine, and that's it. But again, not America. America now has a company who, for a thing, you'll stop snoring. So motherfuckers will do that. I would be the first one to do that.

If I had to go to the doctor Or get what? For $1099 I could order a thing and put it on my nose and stuff And all you're doing is worsening the situation What's that thing I've seen a commercial for Where it's like a sleeve you put on your your calf And it stops lower back pain because of like acupressure Have you seen that?

Yeah, yeah, I did see that Scary like that if you have that much pain You shouldn't that shouldn't just be something you like Just smooth over with a sleeve on your leg Yeah well a lot of times what happens is the the foot becomes dysfunctional so the glute doesn't work and then the back has to do a lot of the work for you

so what that does is it puts a pressure point into your calf which will turn your butt back on which will take the way your back paint okay so it is good so not all of it's a scam it's a band-aid oh okay yeah you uh lee asked you an interesting question about constantly learning

I'm sure you mix philosophies I'm sure that you know you have to borrow a little bit from the Chinese little acupuncture how interesting, how great is that, and then you come up with your own style. When I went to see yesterday, you spoke a new work you were developing. Yeah, in the last year or so, I've had a great opportunity at having some great mentors throughout my years. Lois Laney helping me with the breathing stuff,

Dr. Aaron Mattis, who does the active-isolated stretching, and there's Eric Dalton, who's done some of the myoskeletal massage, and I've been very, very fortunate to have them, my life. And but in the last year or so, I'm like, there's something different. There's something else out there. So now I'm looking at more of the structure of the body and getting the symmetrical aspects of the body. Like with you, we found that your chest was rotated in one direction. And once we started rotating it back, you were half asleep on the table. But once that rib moved, you woke up and you're like, what does happen? You know, and you could feel your breathing got better and all that

kind of stuff. So I've been working with that. So I have what I'm calling Voisla, which basically means there you go. So once the body goes back into position, it becomes symmetrical, the body, it becomes alive again. And just recently I was teaching a chiropractor how to work on me with this Vala system. And he touched a spot in my head. And I had an injury when I was like seven or eight years old. I went off a cliff in a wagon. Who doesn't do that? Right? And I hit my head and got knocked out and he touched that spot and a little tear came down my eye. And it was a happy tear because my body had been waiting 40 years for someone to touch it the way it wanted to go. And it was just amazing. It was the first time I actually had the treatment done to myself. So I got to feel what my clients are

feeling. And it's, it was really, really cool. I really enjoy it. And just keep learning. And just keep learning. every time I work on somebody, like I said, I pick up something new, or my brain will be with the client, but it'll also be going, why is this happening? So I'm always pushing myself to find out what's more out there that I can learn. Your breathing exercises help me dramatically, the one where I hold my nose. You know, the tape on the mouth at night with the sleep apnea? Every night I wake up when the tape is ripped off. I bought this special yellow tape. I went to CVS.

I asked them. I'd rip it off. You know why? Because my nose clocks up. And I even put two shots in my nose before I went to bed. As soon as I go horizontal, my nose shoots up. I don't know what it is. Sometimes I'm in jiu-jitsu. I just sprayed the fucking nostrils.

Just fucking sprayed them. Just sprayed them before I went on the mat. I'll get on my side and I got a tap because I can't fucking breathe. Something about... What are you spraying with? first I got this Flones whatever from

and you know what that does Dick then I went in and I said Doc they gave me that fucking floneys but it was the first of the insurance

so I paid $99 for that flonez so I treat that flonais like cocaine I hide it by the medical by the food cabinet and if I'm in the kitchen every once in a while

I feel guilt that just hit it just to make me feel okay because I'm a Cuban Jew I paid $99 for that fucking no spread. Do you understand me? So you're going to use every last drop? Not until I use every last drop.

First off, I'm spreading it out thin. That's got to last me like eight fucking years, and it's just a little bottle. So I hit it real light. Like a little Coke bump. I just hit it real and I just put it back and with my wife. Because why do you keep in there? Because it's $99 fucking dollars, you understand me? If I put it in the bathroom, I hit it every day and I won't

get my money's worth out of it. So when I went to the ear, doctor, this time, I said, Doc, that Flores, you get? and I wipe my ass with that. I'm still at fucking CVS buying three affords a week. So he gave me something strong, and I put that in the cabinet because that came out to late 23.

Again, I approach it with caution. I hit it twice, and that's worked okay, but an hour later, I can't take a chance with it. There's nothing worse for me than when I'm out fucking around with people. Like, if I'm here right now, and I go, and I can't breathe, this podcast is doomed. Because I won't be thinking about what you're saying or your words. I'm thinking about getting anxiety.

I can't fucking breathe, guys. I started getting anxiety. It happened to you a couple of times, right? Oh, my God, in your old office one day with an edible, we were talking. I had a sweater on. It was getting warm. And I couldn't breathe, and it got worse. You took the headphones off?

I had to take the headphones off. This is when I was getting it really bad, and I got hypnotized in that. Because my breathing isn't really my breathing. It's the tail end. of the sleep apnea, the fear of the sleep apnea, so I hold my breath. Well, the fear is a big thing, and you've mentioned a couple of times, you go into survival mode, so now you can't thrive. Like you said, you can't think. You're not thinking about what someone else is saying so you can respond. You're thinking, how can I survive right now?

And that, a lot of people are driving around like that out there, it's scary. It's amazing when you get, when you find realizations about yourself, oh my God, I didn't know my heel hurt. that bad until I went. Oh my God, I didn't know my glasses were that bad. When I had the vertigo, you spoke about your eyesight. And I went. My mom has it. She's had it for years. And

the doctor gives her eye exercises to do. And it's still bad sometimes. It's still bad. Those eye exercises wake up your dizziness a little bit. So I've done them. They wake it up a little bit. You've got to catch yourself. You're like, Jesus fucking Christ. I got to drive to Hollywood on Lower

Canyon. I hope it don't fucking get dizzy on Lowell Canyon. Because I always get kind of dizzy on Lower Canyon. always so the walleye system break it down from uncle Joey so basically it's a whole body system where we create symmetry throughout the skeletal structure through joint balancing movements

and we do this to create stability in the body so you can be stable so you can move better and it just really brings people in the optimal performance we worked on a 17 year old hockey player and worked on prior to the game and after the first period

I got an opportunity to talk to him in between periods. And he's like, I feel different. I'm like, well, what does that mean? He goes, well, I just feel weird. He's 17, so he really doesn't understand his body that well. And I go, what does that mean? He goes, well, I don't know. I just feel different.

I'm like, okay, well, what does that mean? He goes, well, I feel like I'm outside of my body watching myself play hockey, and I know where the puck is going to be before it gets there. I'm like, dude, they call that. the zone. You're in the zone right now. So is it only athletes you work on or do you work on everybody? What do people come to see you for? A lot of times people don't know why they come into me or they come

into me for a specific reason and I end up finding that it's a totally different reason than they actually came in for. But to answer your question, I work on everybody. I work on four-year-olds to 94 years old. As a matter of fact, yesterday I worked on a pit bull. I worked on a dog. Really? Yeah. What was wrong with the dog?

Well, the dog was at the dog park, and he hurt his shoulder and started yelping. And when he'd jump off the couch, he would yelp. So the owner brought the dog in, and I did a little bit of work on him. And next thing I know, the dog was running around playing with my dogs. Getting attacked motherfucker. My little hot dog was taking care of him. That's hysterical. So, when Joey had his knee issue, I saw an article on ESPN.

It was really interesting. That was really interesting what you sent me. It was on Veterans Day, and they were at Veterans Hospital, and they have a tourniquet therapy where they have a medical tourniquet, and they put it on you when you're working out. And they said you're able to work out with less weight, but because you have less blood flow, it helps build muscle faster and help recovery. Is that a new thing, or is that just...

Because I saw it on ESPN, and I just thought it was cool. so I sent it to him because of his knee. I have not seen that. The only thing I can think of with that is when they take the tourniquet off, you get a flush of blood in there, and that will really help really help the recovery. That's the only thing I can think of with that. Oh, okay. Yeah.

What's like Joe and those guys? They take the blood out. You do something and you shoot it back in. It's what Peyton Manning did or one of the Manning. Kobe Bryant did it. Yeah, they're doing it in Germany now. They do in Germany, right? But they do it also. You know, medicine is. just I think a lot of my knee issues I hurt my wrist doing kettlebells you know doing cleans Jesus the thing swung around and must have knocked it off the loop or something yeah

yeah I'm different than a lot of people go you know what I have a wrist injury I'm just going to rest it and I think that's the worst thing sometimes I like giving injuries blood the only way they're going to heal by giving it blood. You know, you have to move it. You have to give it oil. You know, people, oh, I have a bad back. I knock on wood every day. I don't have a bad fucking back.

I feel terrible for those people. And I think after a while it becomes mental. I think after a while, it's, did I tell you guys, I fainted the other day? No. Fucking horrifically. When? Horrifically.

Oh, my God. So one night last week, Lee and I did a podcast or something, and I left here, stoned to the fucking gills. We smoked dope with somebody, we ate edibles. I went back to the thing, and I cut myself with a bick razor. I forgot to bring my Dollar Shave Club fucking razor on the road. And I went to the front desk in Portland. the last week I was on the row and I said,

can you give me a thing? And I cut this in here. I never thought nothing of it. It got infected. It's your fucking mouth, you know? It's a hard heel. It's a hard heel. So then I get really fucking stone to the gills.

I get home. I'm sitting on the couch. I got the ice on my knee. I got super bad on my chest. I'm just relaxing. And I go like this and it was dry. That's what it was. It was dry.

And it must have broke. And I got blood out. of that. So I go, God damn, I went in the bathroom, and as I put the tissue on there, the thing I got peroxide or something, I put peroxide and the scab was loose. I had cracked the scab there, and I just ripped the scab off, and within a minute, blood just shot down my face in front of the mirror. It was too real and too fast for me to slow down. It just shot down my face. And as I'm wiping it off, I'm thinking to myself, I'm fucking going to go down, right? I can feel the beginnings of it, but I'm fighting.

I'm breathing out my nose. I'm breathing. I walk out. I fucking flush the toilet. I'm acting as normal as I can to fuck with this motherfucker, right? But Captain Fainting, he's right behind me. I can feel him going up my neck. So I plop in that chair right in front of the air condition, and it was freezing.

The house was freezing. I put the air on. He just kept putting it down a 60. By the time I got it down in 60, I was in full mode, sweat beads coming down my face. I just put the fucking, and it's amazing, who saves my life all the time. I put the thing down, I kick my shoes off, I laid back, and I just started breathing guys, and it was coming in heavy. I might have, I'm going to go down.

I was seeing the spots, the purple. I had like 400 milligrams of THC in the edible eyes. So what happened was if I wouldn't have been, high, the T-8, I would have been fine. I would have just rolled down my face, but the T-HC took that fucking thought and created this fucking tornado of faint in my mind, and I'm fainting. I'm going down. And I can't call for my wife because the baby's sleeping. So there's no way. Now, all I need to do now, it's coming out of me, Joel, it's coming out of me to sweat. I need to get, I can feel the sweat rolling on your tities. Once you can feel the sweat on your tities, you're going down.

I go to pull off the fucking shirt, and I can't. I can't, guys. I go back, and I got to focus on my breathing, Jerry focus, and you're breathing, joy, focus, and you're breathing, joy, focus. And in the middle of all that, fucking something lands on my chest, and I go, ah! And it's super bad with his claws out. And I go, you motherfucker!

And I'm ready to fucking punch him in the head. And I go, I feel better. Because he took my thought process off it completely. Like his little claws landed. He jumped on me from the other side of the fucking thing. And my cats, Finney, used to take the faint off me. He always knew he'd jump on my lap and start doing this shit with his nails.

But I got to tell you, that process, I'm telling you, that was an 18-minute process. Oh, jeez. He came on me on probably the 14-minute mark. And I just grabbed him after he landed on me, and I wanted just to pull him off and throw him against the wall. And you don't have no idea how much I loved that animal with all my heart. But as I was grabbing him, me thinking about his nails going into my chest and me thinking about being on the yard with him.

And I also'm like, you know, you're a little fuck, right? And he just looked at me and his tail was wagging. And that's when he got in the fireplace. So he was black. So I had like a white t-shirt on. That's what else I was pissed about. But I was fainting and I couldn't get him off me because I was fainting. I didn't tell you about that.

It was fucking horrible. And I got well. when I woke up the next month, my wife said, what did you do last night? I go, why? She goes, the air condition, it's freezing. I barely made it to bed last night, Jackson. I said, what happened? I told her the story. She said, like, oh, no, why do I faint?

Doc, I can't see fucking blood. Oh, my God. You can't blame the blood at that point. You're 400 milligrams. It's like when I threw up, and you blamed the sushi. Oh, my God. The THC just took the thought and just ran away with it. It was terrible.

So for the longest time, I know, that's why, when I first joined Jujitza, I would smoke pot and go to Jiu-Zitsu. And when I was doing those hip escapes, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I could hear it. I had to get up and go outside and take my gie off and just sit outside in the fucking... It was free. You know, you can't believe what it does to your... Anyway.

And you just told me to go to the gym high today. Yeah, because you never do it. It's good for you. It's terrifying. No, it's not terrifying. You're fucking... You just almost passed out. Yeah, as you did to. Listen, dog.

I've been going to the gym hut. Well, that's because I was really out of shape. Nobody's wrecked. Listen, you can go on the standmaster for two fucking hours a day and lift weights. And your first three times in your jitza, you're going to go, holy fuck. Yeah. It's muscles you've never thought of them. Never thought.

It's those little, little things in your hips that you've got to pick yourself up like a snake that you're going, oh, my God, what the fuck? That's abuse. That's abuse. That's totally, you can't get ready for that, or wrestling. karate like if you join karate yeah you'll handle it the first week itself your legs will be sore from kicking things but you'll but jihitsu jesus the first you go twice in one week ooh the first time you're not ready for it just little muscles and knees and stuff but

after a while you feel great about it Jesus does do you ever prescribe marijuana or tell people might help them with their soreness or anything I can't prescribe anyway but no I don't Okay, so what do you, since you're not a, since you're not a doctor, what do you, what do you call it if you're not prescribing things? I can assess and I can suggest. Okay. That's about it. Yeah. Is that a fine line you have to walk because like insurance and stuff like that?

And legal reasons. Yeah. Yeah. And you've been battling this home. You've been banging this outfit. This voila system? Well, I've been into business for 20 years now for massage. and personal training for 25 years.

So it's an overnight success, Joey. It's 25 years in the making. You know, the journey makes you look at your journey as a man or a woman, whether you're a painter or whether you're a house painter or whether you're an electrician. It looks at your journey, and it makes you... Everybody thinks we've created our own thing, like in our own... And we have.

We have, I forgot my trainer thought that. I was looking at a leash shirt to find you, and I was getting insulting. You know. You got to represent for Christmas. No, but I see what you're saying. Like, you incorporate all these different. Like, I went to your studio yesterday, and you have the thing to go upside fucking down.

You got kettlebells in there. You got roller match. You got a table. You got a deflated fucking basketball. You got a thousand little remedies. Like, everybody you go to has these remedies. I enjoy going to you. I feel the difference when I leave.

I like, right now people listen to this going, Joey, what are you talking about with this fucking guy here? I think that the more you put into your body, the better, and the more you learn about your little things. Both times the breathing thing with the heart rate monitor that I have on it, I learned different things and different ways of attacking things. Yes. I love going to acupuncture.

I know you also do acupuncture or you get acupuncture. I do. So you also stick needles in people. No, no, no. I get them stuck in me. And how long have you been going to that? About a year. And why do you go?

The woman I go to is Jocelyn Eberstein. She's in Century City and she's the only acupuncturist that I've ever gone to that actually worked for me. She uses frequencies with the needles. And she's made a huge difference. in my pain levels. And she's been amazing and keeping me going for the year. I'm helping everybody else, and she helps me.

How many times a week do you go? Usually once a week. And did you ever go to a different acupuncture before her? Yeah, I've been to many before her. And this one really is. This one really works. I've been with the same one for eight years.

Yeah. When you find a good one stick with him? But I went to her, and it was weird. the first couple times we battled, and then one day we just came to a, boom, and I found love. The first couple times I went to see her for addiction. I went to see her for addiction. And it's like she would staple my ear,

and I purposely go from her office to buy bloop. Like, just to see, because this staple ain't working. But if I know anything about the philosophy of acupuncture, I know that it's because I kept going. That eventually I think about this, why did I just go stop and that? I kept going. You asked Joel a great question before, which I think applies to chiropractors, acupuncturist, personal training. Why do people keep going?

What was the question you asked them? It's like how do you deal with someone like you, like you said, if you went to acupuncture one time, the staple didn't work and you just never went back. Right. Like it takes a process. There's so many people that go to people one or two times and they don't let the miracle happen. And that's what destroys me.

Like people, I'll mention acupuncture and they'll go, well, I went two times from my back and it didn't really help me. But bah! You know, acupuncture is on anything else. You've got to build up the resistance from acupuncture, I think. For me, this is how I know it works. I'll tell you what I suffered from a lot. a lot, colds.

For the last 10, before I got into acupuncture and the two years before that, I always got a cold four times a year. Acupuncture has built my immune system up. In so many ways, I don't get that sick anymore.

Now I get sick maybe twice a year instead of four times a year. And I smoke pot with people. You smoke bombs, you smoke pipes. That's how you get sick. You know, still, they cut it in half. Why? Because I kept going.

I kept going to every week. My ankles stay skinny. Yes, I hang myself up at night. I put my feet up at night and do twist on the wall because I work on my ankles. I want the blood to go down. So my heart could pump it. Joe taught me about the Chinese heart pump or you just sit on a plane and move your legs up and down. So your legs don't, that blood doesn't claw on planes.

Because the Chinese believe that the calf is the second heart, right? That's correct. We don't fuck around here, people. Well, how do you guys deal with... If you're going to be a fat fuck, at least be a healthy fat fuck. That's all I ever ask of people. And people don't understand, Doc. When people go, what are you talking about, Joe?

If you're going to be a fat fuck, be a healthy fat fuck. Let me give an example. Let's say you went to see Dr. Joe. You went to one jihit-to a week. You walked around the block with your grandmother, and you lifted weights once a week. If you want to, that works for you and you want to inhale an in-and-out burger with no fries and a diet Coke, you're a healthy fat fuck. That's the big difference

But you're taking care of you You're taking your blood pressure medication You're lifting to kills the diabetes You know I'm a healthy fed fuck I know diabetes is someone my feet I'm not a big Are we sweet guys

You don't seem I don't fucking ask you I'm not a sweet tooth guy If I'm gonna have cat What did I get mad at him last week This fucking guy got together With his girlfriend for their anniversary The six month diet

And they got two pizzas One pizza And they got shitty fucking LA pizza Everything fucking listen to me pizza. So whatever. Yeah, great. So I said to him, listen, we got a gift card from our buddies in Seattle.

Let's go throw the steak down at Ruth Chris. Why don't you take the card? I'll give you my end of the card. Take the girl out for a steak. This fucking guy ate the pizza. Me, I don't waste my calories on those shit pizzas. If it's between a fucking pizza and a gift card from Ruth Chris, let's go bang out that motherfucking steak jack.

Can I defend my? No, you don't know to defend yourself. No, no, no, no way to defend yourself. You know why? Because two days later, you ended up at a fucking bar with six broads, and two days later you ended up at a macaroon class at 9 in the morning, stone to the fucking gills. So you lost your fucking leg in this, okay?

Normal nine times out of 10, I would have chosen the steak. But we planned this for like four months. There's a fuck. Plans were changed. Plans were made to be changed sometimes. Even nine times out of ten? Oh, boy. If I'm going to waste my calories on a fucking pizza

And somebody says, Doug, let's go throw a fucking steak. Now, also, when I go to Ruth Chris, I'm not going to get the 22-ounce-monsor because I'm not a fat fuck. I'm going to get the six-sounce fill-lite with the baked potato, a little chopped salad. You know what I'm saying? And then we'll split a cake four ways. Am I lying, Daly? No. At the end, a little espresso.

Am I lying? So all your calories weren't in vain. To eat a fucking whole chocolate cake from Ruth Chris, you're going to shit blood for two fucking years. You're going to walk around, and it's delicious. Don't get me wrong, that double chocolate cake. That one's from Morton's, but yeah. The Morton's one.

It's far right over here in Burbank. Well, granted, we were stoned to our mind. Stone to the gills, and they put us by the bathroom. They treated us like Puerto Ricans, Doc. They even know where I was running with a fucking Jew in there. And we had a great time, some old ladies. Yeah, he was hitting on women. It was right next to the women's bath,

and all women will suck his dick and. And he would go, you're a savage. It's like in Vegas. He told a white lady, she'd like to stay black. And most of him look and I'm like, like, he's crazy. But every week there's one woman who's like, who are coming back. You know, if I'm going to waste my fucking calories, I'm going to get something good. Real good.

Like something top fucking notch and you get half of it. I always tell Lee you could still eat big wings. You just can't. You can't get 16 fucking wings. They got a happy hour of big wings. They give you five wings and a container of blue cheese. And you get the salad with a nice tea. Yeah, but the thing, okay, so I agree with you mostly.

But the reason why I don't do it is, A, because I don't think I can just have five wings. And five wings is probably a thousand calories. No. I think each one is 200 calories? Really? Because they're fried. And butter. I would guess they're around 150 to do.

200. So if I'm going to have a thousand calories, I would rather have more food. Like, I could have He'd rather have two slices of pizza. No, two slices of pizza ain't bad. But that's the thing. That's the thing. That's 600 calories. For 600 calories, I could have

so much more than two slices of pizza. You got a foot long combo. Yeah, that's why I don't do it that much. The pizza thing was, she finished her finals, and I kind of just glopped onto it and got half a pizza out of it. But but it was good.

Macaroon class was fun, too. You missed out. Shut up, bitch. You don't bring me no. I made chocolate macaroons. Where are the macaroons? Who makes chocolate fucking macaroons? If I had known you were coming, I would have, because I can't have my...

Who makes chocolate macaroons? Everybody. It's supposed to be coconut. No, no, that's a different kind. These are French macaroons. French? Oh, Jesus. Fuala.

See? That's it. You lost two stripes this week. Oh, so good. It was so good. little chocolate butter we made our own caramel that was fun

oh Jesus Christ you might as well put the skirt on right now so I'm gonna give you a vacuum for Christmas itself now the Wala system how long does it take to are you telling me I go in there I got the shoulder thing I go in there

I see you one time I'm healed sometimes not all the time okay that's what I want to hear sometimes it takes a few times I want the people understand that it takes a few times you gotta work at it too If Joe gives you exercises to go home, you got to go home and do it. You don't know how many people I talk to, and I go, Doug, when you gave you physical therapy,

did you do the exercises? Fuck, no, I just did one. I did them at home three times a day. I was so fucking paranoid. I was scared that my knee wouldn't go the right way, but that's me. You know, some lady I bumped into said, I got my knee surgery by your guy. I'm going to sue him. I go, what happened?

Did you go to physical therapy? No, I had to go on the set three days later. Well, what the fuck you want? You got to work on things. Exactly. If your shoulder, John Evan, we were working out one thing, he goes, Joe, I got to tell you something, your shoulders are horrific. I don't know how you walk. I don't know how you live.

I couldn't even put the weights on my neck anymore. I grew up doing that. I grew up going under a squat rack and setting up my neck and doing a fucking squat. I can't do it. So now every morning when I wake up, I do this little exercises. I push my shoulders back. I push them forward. I stretch them out just because I don't want to fuck.

I'm not moving them enough. Well, I'm sure you deal with it. If I didn't know Joey, I would bet $10,000. Well, if I didn't know that, if I didn't know Joey went to acupuncture, I would bet my life savings that he would hate acupuncture and that you wouldn't do chiropractor stuff. Like, if you told me, like, oh, I have pain to go to acupuncture, you'd be like, what's wrong with two adibal?

Or just like I'm surprised that you like it so much and that you don't fight it. I look at the history of it. I see how they treat it. I see the result it does for what it's done over the years for their country. I got exposed to it as a child living in New York. I went to the old school Chinatown. You know, everybody is misinformed in this country. If you live in San Francisco, where if you're going on a fucking vacation for all you,

jerkoffs that want to go, I'm going to sell the, they have to, listen, if you want to try acupuncture and you don't have insurance and you want to go on vacation, go to San Francisco. You go to those old Chinatown places, they have donation places. Some Chinese got a burning incense and shit, it'll burn the fucking ash on your back with the cup and the whole fucking deal. And you try these things, but you have to try them. You know, you have to try that. You go to San Francisco, you walk, get up at 8 in the morning to go for a walk,

on that one lawn people doing this Tai Chi shit and you look at it and go look at these fucking old people they're moving the symmetry is fucking perfect and they're not sitting there all hunched up oh my shoulder there's with a fucking scooter you ever see an Asian in a fucking scooters that's white people shit they get fat getting a fucking scooter

you never see a fucking Chinese guy at a fucking casino in a scooter they're moving those little legs are fucking mob they know I'm saying that's in their blood that that's that D.D. Mouth blood They're fucking moving, motherfucker. You know, no, it's true. They live on Okinawa, the fucking whatever.

So they're doing something. They're doing something. Okay. You know, they're doing something that we're not doing. We're depending. Our fucking shit is going to corporations. We're depending. Everything with our system of health care

and taking care of everything has gone to the money angle of it. We're going more through pills. Make these motherfuckers do things. Or instead of having pain and taking a pill, attack the pain, doc. Absolutely. Why would you live like that? I could go to 20 doctors right now. My knee hurts.

I need fucking my shoulders. No. You know what? What's the end result? Now I'm addicted, and I still ain't got no knees and no fucking shoulders. I don't want to be an 80-year-old. I just got blessed with a fucking little girl. I got to chase this little savage.

I got to chase it. Yeah, you're saying she's running around to, like. now? It's a different world. It's a different fucking world. And our feet move. And she just goes. I mean, I saw her outrun the mother. Listen, all these people, all you people, I'm on an M-A trainer. I fucking do this. I wrestle. Listen, I've been watching my wife for a fucking year. Walk up and downstairs with groceries hauling a 22-year live kettle belt. There's no better shape of my wife. My wife will fuck you up. And I'll tell you why, because she'll go to the... the distance, you'll, I'll punch her.

If she comes through, she's fucking you up. She's got cardio of a fucking bear. That's a 25, that's a 32-pound kettlebell now. I see her hauling around the corner with bags and bottles and strollers

and not missing a beat. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. No, it's so true. I started to fill his edible too. It's so true. I'd never seen an athlete like my wife. And the last night Universal City, she lost my wife.

Just zoom, zoom, zoom, back behind the table on the fucking thing, jumped over this thing, fell, got up. You know, she falls and she gets up now. Like, should I cry? No, I'm getting chased. Fucking. Tremendous. It's a different world.

I got to be in shape to be around there now. It's horrible. Is that what you're focusing more on health and? Absolutely. Absolutely. You look at this girl and you want to be there. and you want to be able to carry, you want to be able to go to her games, you want to be able to shoot hoops with it.

I used to shoot 300 jump shots a fucking day. Jerry West, that was nobody better than me in shooting than Jerry West, fucking white dude from West Virginia. I wanted to move and be those guys like Larry Bird. So when I got up in the morning when I was a kid, for three or four, five years, I shot fucking 300 fucking jump shots, 100 from right under the basket just to work out of my form. do you know guys I can't shoot a 10 foot anymore?

Really? My shoulders don't have the flexibility. What happened to your shoulders? We haven't worked on those yet. You didn't tell me all that. Who knows? But the reason Joey came to see me is because he couldn't hold his daughter because the wrist was hurting. That was the original time.

That was the original time. And then we worked on breathing. And then you came to Jitsu. It was a very interesting story I told about you without you even being here. I don't even know what the fuck I called you on the air. I'm a very big customer service-oriented guy. I don't give a fuck what you charge me. I don't give it for what you charge me.

But do me a favor. When I call, return my call, I'm a firm believing that. Something that with all the corporations and all the attorneys, we've lost this. We've lost this gift, this customer service gift that isn't required in a job. It's required of being a human being. It's not required in your job requirements. It's required when you accept this job as a human being. Forget about your, you know, when I'm a comic, listen to me.

When I'm a comedian, I get paid to go and do, you guys pay me to go on stage and you come. Me going outside and smoking dope with you and taking pictures, that's not in my contract. You could just leave. That's not in my fucking contract. I do that because when I'm on stage, I'm watching you guys laugh and your laughter makes me warm in my own.

heart. That's a feeling you can't pay back. So you guys want to come and hang on. So do you understand me there's little things. When you guys tweet me sometimes, when I get 2,000 tweets, I try to tweet as many as I can of you. That's customer service. That's what this is all about. And we've forgotten it there. I told the doctor, I went for his fucking wrist, Joe, and I went in for my wrist, and we ended up talking about breathing. And the next day, he was at the jihitsu place on the floor watching me fucking breathe. And he assessed me the situation and told me, what was going on. We did another visit. We spoke about you gave me exercises. I got

the heart rate mounted on my thing. I still do the up and downs in the mornings. I have it written on my wall right over the same exact note you gave me. The only things I slip on is the hip movement on the bed. I hate fucking being in bed. Once I eat ass

and I fall in wake up. There's a lot of people sit in bed and dwell on their fucking, huh, well, maybe I should have been present. No, get up. Doc Sucker. There's no babies. Get up! You It's the United States. I hated that shit. I had two roommates coming up for years in Boulder

that were young guys, Doc. In the mornings, you know what I mean? I get up, I take a pee, coffee's on. In those days, I didn't drink coffee, and I would still put coffee on because it's like the smell of it. That's what it meant to me in the morning. It's like the smell of coffee.

I didn't drink coffee till 35, 36, but I would still always have a Mr. Coffee. I always found the way to shoplifted of Mr. Coffee, Those days it was 17 bucks, who gives a fuck? And I'd get generic coffee, and I'd just buy coffee. You never know who's only come over? And these two idiots I lived with drank coffee. But both of them, I'd walk past their room.

What's up, bro? What are you doing for it? None. It's six. TikTok. And I'd be doing shit. I'd leave, come back, 8 o'clock. The TV wouldn't be on.

I had one buddy who was sit in bed and just smoke cigarettes. For an hour before any movement. He pissed. He whacked off. None. He'd just sit there. and think about his future. And he always got fired because he was late.

I used to knock on the door. What up? You got to get up, cock suck. I got three cigarettes left. You got to get up. I don't understand that concept of laying there. I don't know what I'm like. Get them.

Anyway, Doc, I get emotional people who lay there. I am looking out too. You got to be a soldier in the fucking mornings, Doc. Don't get me. Turn that shit off. I'm too fucked up. So let's say Joey came in, you didn't know about the shoulders. Like, what, obviously you can't check him out right now,

but what process would you go through to find out what's wrong with him? Well, that's what's cool with the Blala thing. I came up with, like, an assessment program, which takes about three minutes if it's real thorough. So it doesn't take long, and I can find pretty much where things are happening. We didn't do that with Joey yesterday. He just came in for his knee, but we ended up working on a lot of other things.

So I came up with this assessment that really hones in on the body and tells you exactly where the problem is coming from. That's cool. So let's say Joey and I had the same exact shoulder issue. Could you use the same therapy on him and me, or is it different for each person? you could maybe have the same problem but the solution could be different okay that's yeah that's what I was talking about yeah so like how does that happen like how do you how do you change it up for each person like what would you do differently for somebody what's cool is the body knows exactly what it wants and I just ask so with the system that I came up with I actually can vector or just push the tissue in a

certain direction and test you and see if the body wants to move that way so your body may want to move one way to get better and joys may move a totally different direction to get better so i just ask the body what it wants and it gives me the answer how how different are is everybody because like sometimes you'll hear people make excuses about uh about oh that hurts i can't do that or i'm not good at this and when like i don't know maybe i'm just naive but when you think of people you think everybody's the same like you think every every every every workout should work for for everybody like there shouldn't be that much difference between people, but is it just everybody, everybody's body is completely different? Hey, I'm no comedian. I can't stand up and do a comedian, you know, so that's, everybody's different.

And everybody is different. Yeah. There may be some similarities in movement, but there are no patterns. Okay. It really are. So you just never know, because it could be your daily physical life and what you do is different. You just do things different so your body's going to react differently. Okay. You know, I came up in Boulder. And when I was in Boulder,

I go to Noropa Institute a lot and hang out there. My friend Lenny ran the fucking place to eat there. But even before that, I would go to Norop and just take the classes. They had like little workshops and shit. And the friend of mine's girlfriend was big at Naropa.

And we discussed my shoulder pain with her. This is, like my left shoulder hurt. She made me take my right foot off, my right sneaker off. And she was Chinese, and she did some pressure points, and blah, blah, blah. The thing that thinking back to it was,

at that time, I was petrified of a doctor, but I was also, like, any other American, I was a quick-fixed artist. I didn't know. At that time, there was no internet that you didn't really read unless you had an encyclopedia or whatever, and who fucking had an encyclopedia, you know? So I was a quick fix

artist, but I always thought about that, how interesting that was. And then years later, I think I read about it how the foot controls a lot of things in your body and that science, you know? But I would have never known this stuff if I would have tried. But at the same time, now knowing, I did

have, I tore my shit up as a young guy. I just I was infatuated with traps. Okay? You saw that picture of me? The high school picture, sure I sent you. Remember me playing basketball? How bad it was in my shoulders

look? I don't remember. Oh my God. When I was a kid, I had this, I played basketball and I was getting that basketball body where you have no traps. I had that Phil Jackson. You just look like a fucking, I looked like a fucking coat hanger. And it was the most embarrassing

thing in the world. So I went to a guy named Ira Wolf who was a kinesiology guy, trainer. He went ended up going as a trainer to the 84 Olympics. Guy was a big motherfucker. In fact, he's still alive. This guy used to fluctuate and weight and diet and tried different diets since we were in

high school. He was a gym teacher and we were in high school, but he always, he was also in charge of the weightlifting team. And when I moved to Colorado, the guys I lived with were three of his weightlifters. So they always, you know, talked in the way of Ira Wolf. And, you know, Ira Wolf wanted balance, but he always. also believed in core strength. So Ira Wolf, I mean, the craziest thing he would make us doing the 80s was squats off

the bench. So you did bench squats and you had to pick up your legs and shoot up, you know, for football. And that, for some reason, my body took to it and it made me gain weight. And I was like in shock, just eating Cuban food and drinking some shakes, no steroids. I would put on eight and nine pounds. So Ira Wolf had like this fucking shoulder workout. five sets of six with no dumbbells in those days

no dumbbells I just believed in a straight bar five sets of six in front five sets of six in back upright rows and the shrugs and then you took two tens

and you went all the way around and clinked your hands up and that gave you the fucking burns and then at the end you just did a little simple cleans to really fucking destroy your fucking lats. I mean, you got Ronnie Lott

motherfucking lats. Your lats are coming out of your fucking ears, Jack. And that's what I strive for, but when you're dumb and what's the expression? Young, dumb, and full of cum, you forget about it. You don't know. And people come to you and go, dog, be safe with,

listen, unless you're playing professional sports and you're getting paid, lighten up with the weights, you don't know that when you're 20. You're just in 16. You're just in the garage fucking killing yourself. So today I suffer from the damage. I did not. I didn't know that you had to continue to stretch over the years.

I sleep on my shoulders. You know, it's just 300 pounds on your shoulders every fucking night. Every night I just push 300 pounds on your shoulder. What do you think the mobility is going to happen to it? How do you sleep on your shoulders? I don't fucking know, Lee. I got sleep athnia, so when I be on my back, I'd be choking, so I go up on the side. Oh, okay.

Well, what do you think I'd do? I stand on my head on my fucking shoulders and stay. that with my legs up like a yoga dude. I'd just sleep last night. Tremendous. Nice. When I was getting under the car just now, when I was walking to see,

I thought to myself how nice it was that I'd been home because I'd maintain my sleep pattern. It's brutal what I go through throughout the years, guys. And thank God Lee and I came up with the 8 o'clock at night podcast. Because that's 6 o'clock in the morning, two days a week, plus Thursday, plus Friday radio, plus Sunday to come back, was killing me.

It was putting weight on me. It was, I couldn't think straight. You know, I was angry. You know, I didn't even, it was just brutal. It was just too much. And you need your fucking sleep in your rest. Yes, you do.

And I could live on one to seven now, three or four nights a week, and then one night get a good tent to fucking get stoned to the gills with Lee here, go back on Monday night, and sleep from like 11, 15 to 8. If I get one of those a week and the rest of the nights

get six, I'm okay. And I always catch a Puerto Rican nap. You did yesterday? Did I? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm at the table. How long do I go down for it now? A couple. Two, three. You went out. Nice.

Nice. That was the hardest part about working, about working like a traditional job. Setting your alarm for like seven and you don't get home until eight or nine so you stay up for a couple hours. Maybe get six, seven hours. night and then you have to drive that that's probably my favorite thing about not having a full-time

job anymore is not having the the the hour commute each way and having to wake up at 7.30 I'm just being tired all the time. You motherfuckers are the sitting at home are going, Joey, you sleep and what the fuck are you talking about? Listen, bitch, from the age of 15 to seven years ago, I didn't know what sleep was. And from the early 80s, I never slept. I never slept. And in hindsight, I see it in what I felt, how I felt differently, my views in the morning, you know, thinking correctly. I don't know how people who have, like, two minimum wage jobs, like, I did that for one summer, and that's all I could do it for.

And I did the podcast and a full-time job, but this isn't as physically. But, like, people who work at, like, McDonald's and then hardware stores, like, sell two of those kind of jobs. I don't know how they do it. You just do it, Lee. Yeah. You just survive. I go on the road and I meet feature X and I really like them. And I ask them about their careers and they tell me how they go to towns now.

And they don't get hotels, but they get $600 or $100 a show. And I leave there and I feel bad. But then I go, what the fuck do I feel bad about? I did it. You figure out a way. You sleep in your car. You meet people. You sleep on their floor.

You sleep on their basement. You know, you do anything to save 40 bucks a night. I'm sure there's nights you have to cave. But you're learning and you move on and you, and that's it. It's, it's donable. But it's amazing how important sleep is. Like that lady just passed away. Like a month or two ago, a mother, she was sleeping in between like her third job.

And she just died. She was working three jobs trying to support her kids. And it's like, she just went to sleep. That's the New America. That's the new fucking America. That's a single mom, you know, that's a new America. But three jobs, we live in hard times right now. Like I said, we're very fortunate in this area in Southern California.

We really don't see it. It's where you travel east or to the Midwest that you see these towns and go, what the fuck happened to that mall? You know, I just did something in Seamy Valley. I just shot a movie and Seamy Valley. I don't see what that mall looks like. What happened? It was all for lease?

All for lease. You walk through that more on the daytime? It's fucking Lonelyville. It's a GNC, a Starbucks, but they're like six businesses that are empty in between that. So you look at this and you're like, oh my God, this is, how is this going to survive? Yeah.

Has it affected your industry or not really? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, I'm kind of like a luxury item, you know? It's like people look at their health as last, because they've got to feed your family or whatever. So they'll put that on the back burner and they'll just stay with pain for as long as they can't handle it anymore. And so would you like, it sounds bad, but not selling yourself, but let's say, let's say I didn't, I had some money,

but if I didn't feel like it was necessary or important, like how do you convince people that it's not, like it's a good use of their time and money? Well, you could only help people that want help. so if they don't want help then you really can't help them anyway so you just kind of kind of can show them some of the benefits of what you can do to help them and that's one of the reasons I created this quick

assessment is I can show you what issues you may be having and then I'll do like one quick correction so you can see the change and then I'll leave it up to you to decide if you want to continue on or not okay yeah because I can't convince you otherwise

right because like I just I just had to start buying my own insurance. Like I got off my mom's. It's $300 a month. And it's going up by $20 a month next year. And it's just, it would be hard for me to go and see, okay, you're not covered by my insurance. And it's $100 a visit. But like it sounds like for you, Joe, it's like it saved your life.

It's like that sort of work is well worth the time and the money. What's that? Any of the work you're doing, any of the acupuncture, the physical therapy. No, I got to explain something. to everybody at home here. I'm very fortunate because I have insurance. Insurance that I never touched from 97 until 2003.

I never used it. I didn't even know what I had available to me. I got a package once a year with a card. What do I do with this car? That's how fucking ghetto I was. I didn't know what to do with this car. When I hooked up with Terry, Terry kept saying to me,

You know you have great insurance. You get your tea fixed, this shit that you can't sleep. She would go with me to the doctor the first couple times. She would go all the way in with me because she knew I would climb out a window or I would pass out. She knew. She fucking, you know. And she would go at me until I made relationships with my physician first.

And I took a couple of physicals. And that was a nightmare. I would cancel. You know how many times they would shove the finger up their ass through the lung x-ray, do the ear. I was going for blood. I'd run out of there. And they call me and beg me to come back.

And I have to go back on Monday morning at 8 o'clock and they take blood and blood out. But I feel so much better now. In my mind, for years, I walked around 400 pounds, not knowing. The people, the physicians on the longest yard were coming in. They were coming in, and the people liked me so much. I got along so well with the firemen. I got that he would come in and take my blood pressure.

I'm going to go, Joey. I can't let you go on the fucking field unless it goes down to this. I can't let you out of my sight. In fact, in 10 minutes, if I call back and it's here, I got to call an ambulance in. That's how I was walking around in the mornings with my blood pressure. And were you ammed up or it was just because of your weight?

It was weight, diet, smoking cigarettes, cocaine, no sleep. I was doing all the things. That's an early fucking grave. No exercise. smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, diet was horrific. You know, the sleep at me was under control, but I was still doing blow. So the sleep wasn't still there.

Three, four nights a week, I was sleeping two nights, two hours a night. Oh, no. So yeah, three nights you're sleeping 11 hours. You've been sleeping. So you're not really sleeping kind of, you know. So it was bad guys. So I had to work on each issue now, you know. And now, you know, and now, you're not really sleeping kind of, you know.

Yeah, there's nights I don't get enough sleep and whatever the fuck it is. I'm still a fat fuck, but I exercise. I stretch a lot, which I think is very important. It's what makes me feel a lot better than night even when. Like today I won't exercise. I don't do it two days in the row anymore. My knees can't have one. This is something I found out for me.

At this age, at this weight, at this part of my life. But these are things you find out by trying different things. Absolutely. Unless you try different things, it's not going to work. work out for you. My insurance covers either one chiropractor or one acupuncture per month or something like that

with a copay. If I sit at home and I don't use this, these benefits just go to the rot. I just went to the dentist. Not because I wanted a fucking root canal guys. Not because I'm at home with leather rung going, I can't wait from my next fucking root canal. Fuck you.

Because the money is there. And if I don't use it, I fucking lose it. So I go down there and go, hey, fuck it, do what you got to do. Oh, you need this tooth. Do I need this tooth? Listen, I'm a soldier. I don't even need teeth.

I'll bite through that motherfucking apple. Like, you know, you understand me? There's something you go with or without. If you got two teeth on this side, you can put it together. You can put it together. Who the fuck are you kidding? We see people every day homeless in front of the 7-Eleven working it with 6-7 teeth. Two of them got cavities.

They're working it out there, working that fucking jaw. Right or wrong. But whatever, the dentist says, you need this tooth replace, everybody winks at themselves. I'll take care of you. I throw the cleaner in.

Don't worry about nothing. You know, these Armenian dentists are the best ever. If you're not dealing with an Armenian dentist, you don't know what life is. I love you, Doc. You're a good man. You know what the fuck you're talking about. You provide a great service.

But you've got to go into business of Armenian. You've got to get involved in the Lundale, Doc. You're in a good man. wrong side of town. Because they do insurance scams. Those motherfuckers, they'll give you cash back. Forget the fucking copay. We're giving you a 50.

There you go. Bang. Make sure you come back. Here's a calendar. The whole fucking thing. They don't fuck around. I need to check it out. You really knew.

Who do you think? You're right here. You're two miles away from fucking Armeniaville. This dentist I go, he don't fuck around. They don't fuck around. They gave me a... The Rukkine was on the arm. I'm getting my wife's

whatever there because he says you know what we think we made the mistake when we made the assessment we should have seen that out closed and built it so they build insurance I don't have to pay for it not a dime out of my pocket so that makes me even happier. Hell yeah that makes me even happier, you know what I'm saying?

So if it's there if it's available to you guys you got to use it you know what you're sitting there going Joey what the fuck you live out there with those granolas you're eating it's true because people listen to this in the Midwest of Ireland They're fucking bad motherfuckers. But you know what, Ireland?

There's got to be some Chinese guy in your neighborhood that's a fucking cook at a Chinese restaurant, but he's aspiring to be an acupunctrist. Go down there, let him throw a couple needles in your neck. You know what the fuck? What the fuck? You don't know what's going to happen? Just give it a shot.

Columbus did. Right? Columbus went to China stole spaghetti, did acupuncture. That's how he got the energy to go to Cuba and kill the Indians. What are you doing? What are you that?

I have no idea what you know. What did that? fucking Red Bull in those days. He got on a boat. Red Bull duck? Fuck, no. He took a Chinese guy with him.

Come sticking those needles in my feet. I'm taking you to the top. God's suck. Let me give some shout out. Let him throw some needles in your neck. Who gives a fuck? Right, tell him, Doc. A couple needles in your neck.

Any acupuncture's one of the sponsors? Why did these Chinese people fucking sling dick to their 90? Because they stick needles right to their nutsack. Right to the mausole and taff. It's all over. Bam. Mazel Tov?

Yeah. That's the name of Wynard Sachs. You didn't know that? That's what I named him years ago. Mazel and Toh. Which one's Mazel? The right one. He's the heart of this situation.

Toff is a psychic. Dick. Do you have a name for your dick? No, not really. I'm an adult. His name is Dick. I don't even name them. I don't talk to my dick.

I just put him in my hand. You named your balls. Huh? You named your balls. Because they're the heart and soul of the operation. They're the ones that put it together. Think about it. It's your hearts connected to your nuts sack.

You need to make your next thing for your website is going to be a pair underwear. It says Mazel and top. That's it. That's my nutsack. Mazel Tobs. It's 1981. And sweet, sweet Auschwitz dick.

That's it. And Ashwood's dick. That's what you're giving to the night over there to the Mexican. What do you? I told her about it. I mean, after this little reunion with the fucking with Selena and her family. tonight. You're going back to your house?

Are you going to leave her over there? I'm going to leave her over there because I'm going back tomorrow. Jesus Christ. It's Christmas. She doesn't want to wake up on my house. She wants to wake up with her mom. Fuck. She wants to wake up at your house on the big tree. On the tree of life. What over there with those Mexican 8th to her bed? She wants to be over there with you rubbing her feet?

I'll ask her. I don't think she does. Yeah. You're going to wake up and go, come on. Wake up. I got something for you. Because the whole family staying over there tomorrow for Christmas. The brother, the ex-wife, you don't want to be over there with her tomorrow night. Pull her out of it. It's going to be like, 10 Mexicans over there. Yeah. That's my

whole life now. I know it's your whole life, but you don't want to sleep down the floor. Oh, I'm not sleeping there. I'm coming on. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Just say, come on back to my apartment. You know, we'll have a little fucking get together over there. We'll work off these tamales. Right? You're going to be eating some tamales. You're going to have some energy, right?

Hell of yeah. See, Bass. Wild Bill 23. Michael Kern, I love your cocaine tamales, you bad motherfucker. Corey Layton, Kyle Schip. Leon, who loves you more than me? Julio Padilla. What's my boy in Germany?

Leon? No, you're the fucking guy. In Germany, Constantine Rain. Oh. What's his name? Constantine Rain? All right. That's his fucking...

I didn't know he was in Germany, too. I don't know either. I don't know where these people live. I'd see him on Twitter with fucking Nazi... Is Leon from Germany? Leon is a Spanish kid that lives in Germany. Okay. Or somewhere with Constantine Rain or something like that.

Talk to me. Tell me, son. You'd sit in that. like a fucking robot, sit there, say something. I don't know, Constantine. I thought you knew him. I thought you used to run with him over on 155th in Amsterdam. So have you wrapped

your presents yet, Joey? Joe, you got mad me yesterday because you said I was going to wrap my presents. What happened? I told you it was going to wrap my presents, and he told me I lost his stripe. Oh, you've been losing stripes throughout this whole fucking holiday season. What do you do with your presents?

Oh, it's always... Bad. Yeah, you're going to be a bad. And you're taking over there and you slip into your girlfriend and go rap he's there for your family. Why am I over here? Yeah, but what about her stuff? Who gives her fuck? Same thing. She's an adult. She knows she's getting. How old are we now?

There's a tree dying because you want a surprise so you want to be a magician. Just give it to a shake a hand. What a surprise. Just give her what's hers, right? Tell her what to rap for the fucking people and put hers in like a fucking expensive bag like Macy's

and keep it on you. I got it. And then once a comes time, you just drop the bag. And she'll take everything. Oh, my God. And you have a stocking for it, too, right? No. What the fuck? Come on the fucking? Don't you?

Stockings. Who gives the fuck what they do? I'm Jewish. I don't have a stalking? You got to get a stocking with a fucking Yamakan on it, eight stars or something like that. Or a black Jew dick or something like that with a picture hit a lot. Something. And you got to put, that's what Mexican people like that little stocking.

Yeah. Got to do the stocking? I'm telling you. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing? with you. Have I wasted you wrong? Yes, many times. No, when we leave the middle of that right now.

No. You know, you're in Honey. Yes, I am. What are you talking about? No, I gave me 10 milligrams. He was as tough as nails. I wrapped my gift yesterday.

I swear a three-year-old could have done a better time. Oh, my God. I read out of scotch tape. Oh, my God. You never prepared for that shit. You pulled the duct tape. You're like, I don't work. Oh, my fucking God.

Who's prepared? for that. Once a year you gotta put up with that and you can't do it at a store, you feel guilty, but there's always somebody lurking, that'll do it. I'm like, somebody, I'm like, what are you doing right now? You're rapping gifts? Hold on, I got like 18 of them. That's the fucking hardest part about Christmas. Yeah, I'm fucking girls. Mine look terrible.

I used to, at the mall in Boston, they have like, little school groups that will come and you can pay them, like I would bucker to a present to do it. I was somewhere this weekend, and they were charging eight bucks a box. I was like, God, I can't. That's too much. Wow. It's a good scam, but you can do it. I think we should go into business wrapping gifts.

You don't put those reindeer antlers on your car windows? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go out there right now and put Randy antlers. And I'm going to take one of those antlers and show them up, you're fucking. You fucking. I don't know. I mean, how are you supposed to act with him? Am I supposed to run up and down the street, jump? dropping up and down it's Christmas. I don't know what the fuck is. I don't know.

Are you going to dress up for Santa for Mercy? Are you going to do anything? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the suit and the car shoe. I just picked it up from the Chinese guy over there. Yiant it for me. What the fuck out of here? I don't know.

I'm Jewish. I don't know what Christmas is for people. You fucking know. You're surrounded with these fucking Gentiles. They dress up, they put Christmas trees. They put presents under the fucking trees. Yeah. All right?

And then, yeah, yeah. Do you have a tree? Yeah. When you get a real one or is it fake? I don't know what my wife does. Oh, your wife did? I don't ask you no questions. I came home with her.

It was a tree there. I don't ask nothing. Why am I going to fuck up her world and fuck it up by asking the questions? I didn't want her to get a tree early because the cats take it down. She did something. She tied it down with fucking trees

and got the cats out of it. But some way Superbad got in there and got into the chimney sweep. And he's black. He's a baby. He's black. And my wife's fucking soup. Biscuit, she gave him a bath the other night. But he keeps going through the presence, and he shoots up the fucking sweep.

And he's black. Fucking church to what's happening now, people. A little laughter. A little physical fucking help here for you. You got pains? You get a hold of the doctor over here. Joe, I shouldn't call you the doctor. I shouldn't be calling you that shit.

Oh, that's fine. That's fine. You know, when I was in Boulder, also, I took a kinesiology class, but it was more about nutrition and stuff. Okay. And one of the girls in the class was a trainee, I don't know what they call them, on the field for the football. They're like trainers. They just wrap you, you know, wrap your wrist, wrap your ankles.

And I asked her questions. Like, where do you go from here? And she goes, well, if you intern through a intern, you intern, you intern through here, then you go to a college for a few years and then your main thing is to work for a professional or something like that level. Have you considered that? I looked on your web page and there's a young picture

you're doing fucking jumping jacks like Jackal Lane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were a personal trainer also. Yeah, I've been doing that for 25 years. So that's your main patois. The personal training... It used to be. Now I'm more into helping people with pain and injuries.

And I got done that because of pain and injuries of my own that I've had. And I've basically worked on myself to get myself better. So that's kind of how this all came about. How often do people injure themselves breaking out? Because that's, I just do cardio, because I'm too scared to do the weights. But like I, like, do people, he always told me when I first started, he said, don't go on the treadmill.

Because when you're fat, you can't do the treadmill. And now every time I go, if I see a fat guy or a fat person just running and it looks like they're in pain, like I don't do that because I don't, like, I can't really get injured on the elliptical. But does it happen a lot? I think the treadmill is one of the most dangerous pieces of equipment in the gym. Really? Yeah, a lot of people get injured on the treadmill. So, yeah, I stick with the elliptical that you're using, the bike, stuff like that.

That's fine. But, you know, just go on YouTube and you'll see a lot of really interesting workouts on there. Yeah. Where they're getting hurt so bad. Like, a lot of these CrossFit videos and stuff like that. I mean, CrossFit has some great stuff, but they also have some people that are just trying to do this. the craziest stuff that they can't and they're just getting killed out there.

Listen, it's fitness. You're staying in shape. Just move. You're staying in shape. So there's so many different options that you can do to stay in shape. It's picking one that keeps you healthy that you also get to know your body.

You know, a friend of mine said, Joe, I'm turning 50. Last week I went to scratch my back and I threw out my elbow. You know, people don't stretch enough, you know. One thing I was a fat fuck. and I was drugged up, but I always stretched. And I always stretched because of martial arts as a young kid.

So I always stretched. At the end of the day, I always take my, I like taking my pants off of my underwear, I'm all naked, and the whole town just sitting on their carpet balls out and just fucking stretch them when you're naked and doing little yoga moves that you learn throughout the wood. Again, and your body tells you what to do. There's nothing better than being balls-ass naked.

In the hotel room, you move the beds, and you just fucking stretch and you do it. And you fucking do little yoga breathings and you sit your hands. I wish there was a video of that. I'm serious, man. You just fucking breathe and you do little push-ups and you sit on your knees and you stretch out and breathe and lay your hands to stretch your shoulders. There's so many things that I've done over the years. Even when I was a fat fuck, I was too embarrassed to go to a gym.

I would do these in a hotel room. You could always swim with a T-shirt on, whatever the fuck, you know. Because I always believed that the blood kept moving. no matter how big I got if the blood kept moving you know and that's why you know I hate needles

yeah Lee I'm the last person I would go to aga I'm fucking I gotta go for a blood test for arthritis that that prescription's been done there for two fucking months

waiting on me they even call me about three weeks ago I said Diaz bomb poke medical son you know we got a prescription here

you got a blood test coming up I said I'll be there next week that was three fucking weeks but if Dr. Amy calls me I go and let her stick 55 needles in me. Fifty-five?

Whatever. Okay. You know, I have a system when I go to see her. She cups me, and as soon as she starts cupping me, she starts throwing those needles on the other part, then she decups me, then she goes down my spine, and she cleans all that stuff up, and I'm in and out of there. I'm in and out of there. But I wouldn't know about this if I didn't try this.

I met Joel, and I went to see him, and even for my wrist, it felt better. knew from my wrist that I would have had to go see somebody and get x-rays. There's some points, there's some things that you know, and there's some things that you just keep avoiding. People go, well, instead of doing that, my friend, then they'll keep people asking, hey, your wrist ever hurt? No. Like, they'll ask, like, Joel, they'll say, Doc, your wrist ever, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe you should go see somebody. Oh, no, no, no. Some fucking bum in front of 7-11 says, go sirens. What the fuck you're asking me for? because we don't want the truth. And sometimes, you know, with this, I know that if I go, the insurance is going to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end, there's going to be a quarterstone shot.

Yeah. This is all this is going to be. So I got options. So I got that little thing, the machine for $699 on Amazon. You put the electrodes on your wrist at night. I massage it. I could put some ice on that motherfucker. And then I do little exercises to put weight on it.

So if anything ever happens, at least I'm not how it's going to feel a little bit of pain. And I could do five or six of them now. And I just lay off it. That's, I get a little pain. I do the cleans now with the kettlebells. They're not too bad. Can you learn how to, you know, whatever?

I'm not going to work out. I'm not going to work out because my wrist hurts, but my wrist don't hurt to eat fucking those cheese nips. Right. I'm sitting over my fucking refrigerator. Because how come nobody's ever in pain enough not to eat the fucking extra sandwich? I can't move. My back's been in pain for years.

Let me get that foot long. What the fuck? What the fuck? That's how it happens. Gotta have the goal. Oh my God. How am I going to go to Christmas Eve today? Who gives a fuck about Christmas?

That's six hours from now. I just want to know how many tamales they made. Oh. I picked them up last night at 9 o'clock at the grocery store. What? Because they don't drive. So they took the bus there and then I picked them up because they... Oh, okay.

She bought six of those reusable bags. worth a step. And I texted my girlfriend at 11 o'clock. She's like, she's done the second batch. She just goes to town with them all. It's been up all night. Keep this conversation. I've got to go pee real quick. Sorry. It's a Christmas podcast. So you started with physical training? Yeah. I started personal training 25 years ago. Yeah, my brother's into that. And so how did you go get from there? Because you said you were working on yourself.

But how do you make the disgoing from working out to be like, oh, I have a skill on this? Well, I played football in college. Okay. So I had a big injury in playing football. What happened? So I had a neck injury. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

So that kind of spoiled my career. So from that point on, I started working out. And then, like, 20 years later, just all those injuries. We started popping up again. So I'm like, how dangerous is football? It's pretty dangerous. And I keep watching on the NFL, and Joey makes fun of me, but I like ESPN, so I watch ESPN. Okay.

Just when I'm home and doing other stuff, I'll have it on in the background. And like this player last week, because there's been a lot of people who are getting these concussions and are committing suicide. And maybe I don't know if it's because of concussions, or they're not, they haven't, they don't know yet or they're not telling us. but this one player came out, I'm not sure who his name is, and said, a career in the NFL is worth a shorter life. It's like, he was like, listen, I get to play in the NFL, I don't mind dying at 50.

It was a white dude, he was a safety, I think. Yeah, he was on defense. Yeah, yeah, and everybody that plays will agree with him. Yeah, I can't, you know. That's a crazy mind. thing to think about. Like, when there was a thing with one of Joey's friends, Joe Rogan was telling the UFC fighter a week or two ago

that he should consider stop fighting. Yeah. You know, I work with a lot of MMA guys, and I see some of the fights. And you can almost tell when they're walking to the range that they don't have it anymore. Yeah. Either the look in the eye isn't there,

that eye of the tiger kind of thing, but also even when you see them, in the ring and their brain is thinking it but their body is delayed and you can see it it's so evident. So how what was it like when you have to stop playing football like it was it hard? Did you

keep playing longer than you should have or was it just so it's such a bad injury you just couldn't? It was such a bad injury I couldn't play anymore but what was interesting though is is you know they're talking about because I've had a couple major major concussions and

suffered the effects from it. Really? Yeah, so, I mean, I wouldn't remember your name two years ago. You know, but with the breathing stuff, that's really, really helped me with that. And getting me out of that depression, too. And you don't realize you're in that depression or that, I call it a brain fog until you get out of it. You're just kind of surviving. You're just kind of in it. And there definitely is a correlation to the brain injuries that these people are getting and suicides.

There's definite correlation. I mean, that's just crazy. but even just on a playing level, like Wes Welker, he used to be on the Patriots, now he's on the Broncos. He was great, and now there's just this year he's been all. So it's just when you're getting that many hits on the brain, even if your body is still physically fit, you just can't, it doesn't work?

Well, these guys are at such an elite level that if they lose, just say half a step, that's a huge step in the NFL. It's the difference between avoiding a hit and getting hit hard. it's a big difference yeah and it's great I mean I was a huge fan of Junior Sayo and then this kid

this Ohio State kid and it's like LeBron James is saying he wouldn't let his kids play football it's just I didn't play football I played one year of football I played freshman year and I got in like two times

okay so I never I never had a concussion but I I've seen people get concussions and it's just they didn't trade it as scarily as I'm treating it now It seems like it's like a huge issue.

Back when we did, yeah, you're back out on the field. Yeah. But now they are taking their time. But it is interesting. Just take the NFL because you love the NFL, is these guys are getting a head injury and they're back playing within usually two weeks. They just have to pass a test. Sometimes the same game.

Yeah. And then you had to take a major league baseball player who got a concussion. He's out six months. Really? Yeah. So you're like, really, is the brain really recovered in a week or two now? not what is it I don't even I've never had it so what is it like to get a concussion oh boy that's a great question you do see stars or bells or whatever for me

it was a bright light you you walk around like a robot because you're just trying to survive and you don't realize it you're irritable you're angry so it it sounds kind of like what you were going through joy with with when you were going to faint last week. It sounds like a concussion sort of thing. Well, it's kind of a PTSD in a way where you know you're not right. So you think you're prey.

So now I think that you are going to injure me. So I'm going to lash back at you before you injure me. It's kind of that weird thing, the dance that goes on. And it's not pretty. And so how do people recover from concussions?

I don't, is it? Sometimes you just got to let the brain rest and get the swelling out. Because what happens is the brain gets pushed against the skull, and bounces back and hits the skull again. So like a lot of the hits you see, there was actually a big one the other night, where the guy got hit,

but the injury actually happened because his head continues. That's what they were saying. One of the games I was watching, they were saying that people always look at the head-to-head because there was one quarterback who got a helmet-to-helmet hit this past weekend. And they were saying, yeah, that's terrible, but a lot of the concussions people are getting are from getting hit in the chest.

Was that on a podcast? I don't know. I'm not sure. I think it was on ESPN and they were saying just because it causes your head to go back. Yeah. Yeah. A knee to the side of the head is brutal too.

That'll do it. You know, there was actually one, was it last night? No, Monday night. Monday night. The safety for the Broncos. He had his head cranked. And then another guy hit him

And it just so, you know, he's probably got one too. Do you ever get a concussion? Yes, when I was younger. It was what was diagnosed as a concussion at that time. I got into a motorcycle accident with a helmet on, thank God. But it was that. It was the impact of my head hitting the beam. You know, if I didn't have a helmet on, God knows what would have happened.

The helmet really saved it, how I landed. Listen, I don't, when you're doing anything like that, You don't know what the amount of somebody just punched a kid in Washington State or something, knocked them out and killed them. It could be a tap to the head or it could be a fucking bus hitting you. You don't really know. You don't know how your body's going to be lined up, how fast you're moving towards the object that's going to hit you.

There's so many fucking variables, you know. You just get up every morning and put your life in God's hands or whoever the fuck is watching over. You're Buddha. You know, whatever the fuck it is or whatever you believe in. That's all you could do. You don't know. There's people who play football for 55 for a fucking thousand years

and you see them and they're shaking hands and they look great. And they're doing blow. Joe Montana, you know. But then there's people that you haven't seen and you wonder what happens to them. And now, with the power of the documentary, they pop up and they're broke, they're fucking in a wheelchair, they can't walk.

And these are your fucking idol. when you were growing up. So what happened? Did the system fail? Did they fail? Who the fuck knows? Now, more than ever, do I hear about concussions? Yeah.

When I was a kid growing up, I didn't know, whatever football, you got hit in the head you got up, and you went out there and fucking played, and you drank, and you flew. I don't know. What's going on? Is it something in the water? Is it something in our...

I think people are just huge, because basically with your... What you do, that didn't exist back then. I don't think. So I think they're stronger. But then we were talking earlier. This week there was a player who said that a career in the NFL was worth him dying early. Like, I don't think you'd say that about comedy.

I know you wouldn't say that. Like, is there something you would, like, that would do? Like, is that that that level for you? When you find something you love in this life, think of how many people walk around their life miserable, doing fucking McDonald's and sleeping in their fucking car and maybe they made a mistake in their life

and they never recovered from that mistake or didn't know what was available to them. Think about that. So, think about a guy, is this guy white or black? I don't remember. He was a white guy. He's a white guy, okay?

Who the fuck knows? This guy's been playing football once he was five. Who knows if he had three brothers? Who knows if his mother made cookies for the fucking team? who knows what his experience is like. For some of those fucking guys from Iowa or Jersey,

they've been playing. Some of my friends that I grew up, excuse me, have been playing fucking football. So they're in the Biddy football season, you know, peewee football season. They played all through high school. It saved them and made them who they are today. You know, in my town, a couple weeks of the high school coach died. They closed the street through them.

You know, they're who they're fucking are today. So think without football. They'd have nothing. When you go to Denver, what is Denver? Broncos. Think of, you know, what... I perform at the comedy fucking store, three nights a week. I say it to you, like, it's nothing.

I say it to you, like, it's nothing. Like, let's go down to the fucking store. I got a 10.45 at the store. Do you know many fucking people who wish... They had a 1045 at the store tomorrow, tonight, Christmas. I got a 10.40. five tomorrow night. Christmas night.

You guys are looking at me when I, you're Jewish. Well, you're looking at me going, you're looking at me going mazeltoff. You're a bad motherfucker. Squeezing $15 out of a motherfucker on a Christmas night. You're the real deal, Joey.

You might as well get your honorary yarmulka, but a normal person is like, what the fuck are you doing, Joe, with your life? I have the opportunity to perform. to do what I'm doing. Doc, whatever your fucking name is, Jayle, Joel,

you have the opportunity to live in Southern California and help people get fucking healthy. Absolutely. We're blessed. Are you fucking kidding me? This is my, I don't know what my dream was,

but it wasn't this. I thought I was going to be a jail cell right now, fucking selling fucking gambling cards, making tamales and selling them 50 cents and thinking I have a great life. I didn't know. look just by trying something you don't fucking know right

so would I die for comedy I was told where you're sitting Bobby Lee was here the other day it saved my fucking life because it gave me something to get up in the morning and every day I put more stock in the belief of comedy so I less believed in drugs

and I less believed in that lifestyle and then all of a sudden I met a girl and you believe in life you believe you believe in But one day, you don't need all those things to distract you And to make you a weaker person, you know? I don't fucking know. I guess that is a good way to look at it.

Like most people were kind of crapping on them this week. But I guess if you're like, listen, I wouldn't have lived to 20 or 25 without football. So the fact that I got to 50 is great. Fuck, man. Who the fuck knows? But nothing's going to... Listen, God forbid for me to say something like this. If I had a seven-year-old child today,

what I let him play for? football. Oh my God. I'd have them. I played and I'm here with you guys. I talked to Steve Villo once a week. I talked to Lebrano. They all played in that praises and they ran up hills in the fucking summer. They used to call them suicides. They run up the hills. Oh, yeah. With their fucking helmets and holding on to their helmets in 104 degree August, humility in New Jersey. I saw them do it, you know. I remember those days. But there's some kids that died on the field two years ago. in the heat of the fucking summer.

So, I think you bring up a good point, though. I mean, it does teach you life lessons, definitely. I mean, no other sport can teach you what football teaches you. What happens? Let me ask you this, guys. I'm here with two gentlemen. I don't know how many people are watching this, how many people are listening to this.

What happens if I'm fucking playing baseball? And you're playing first base, and you throw a 90-mile hit at me, or whatever. They throw in the little league, you're 76, and I hit it because the faster it goes in, the faster and the harder it goes out, I hit a line driver

It hits the first basement The head and dies Yeah Happens all the time All right What happens with fucking Soccer You know

I go to kick the ball And the kid hits his Beam against the ball They say there's a lot of people Who Because the headers It would get concussions You know

There's so many things But Am I gonna lock my kid In front of a fucking Computer And say you're not allowed To do anything Oh if you get on a skateboard

You might Get off and get a concussion How lot of people are doing that If you ride a bike You might get hit by a fucking car. But what do you do with your child? Do you just protect them in a bubble? That's what a lot of people are doing.

And you let them play computers all day? And then when they grow up, now she fucking call. It's amazing the fucking people you call. And you call them like two or three times, which means fucking call me back. While you're shitting? While you're fucking shitting. I don't give a fuck if you're pissing the shit. Even then. Just call me. It takes three

minutes to fucking shit. I'm not going to hold you on the phone past that. Drum your fucking wife. She calls you and you're doing a podcast, too. What was I talking about? We're on a good subject there. About letting what you let your kids do? Yeah, because I was actually going to do. I mean, but now you can't even, I was about to say, like, with Mercy,

she's not going to be in a contact sports, but now girls are doing UFC and stuff like that. So she could want to do that. I'm going to walk Mercy over to a karate school and show her and say, is this what you want to do? And I'll take her to a jitza school and say, if this is what you want to do? to a fucking knife throwing contest. Experience. And they'll tell you after a month, the same for me. And they'll say, well, what it is for me?

I can't. My mom pushed me to baseball. I play basketball. So pushing ain't going to help you. It's what you like and what works for you and your body style and your system. Did I get hurt playing back? Oh, one time I was shooting a hoop.

I liked Dr. Jay. So, you know, me, I think I'd go out to the field. I'd see Dr. Jay do a move. I'd write it down. I go to the basketball court at night. That's how creepy I was. I go at night and I practice the move. The finger roll.

The whole finger roll under the basket. So one day what the fuck you think happens? I'm on a fast break. I cut over to the left. Boom. I take it down the left hand side. I cut through and I cut through. And right here in front of the basket,

some gorilla chops me. I hit the fucking pole perfect. It's outside. I hit the pole perfect. right here, he's here, which makes the pressure, the impact a lot fast as I could control, it took the arm all the

way around. How my arm didn't fall off is still beyond me. Did I go to the hospital? No. Did I fucking go see it? No, I fucking rubbed dirt on it and cut it on. Some dirt and fucking kept that wing alive, you know. So a thousand things

could have happened to my shoulders over the year, that's all I'm trying to say. What's the website? Give me the web, because I went on it today. It was very interesting. I read some stuff. I can't lie to you. I didn't understand the big words. I got lie to you to tell you, I looked it out.

I'm trying to make it sort of like an understand. Let's do it. It's a hard time. It's you got to do it. It's Physio-C-C-E-H-Y-S-I-O-C-A-R-T-E-R. That's long, I know. No, no, he's laughing because I'm astromed. You know, he just sends me to death in front of a mother-in-law.

When she walks out in the street and she smiles as a weed, she goes, I don't want him. You can't smell the edibles. You got five hours to straighten up. Five hours. With these edibles, I sleep, and the next day I'm still having five hours. It's going off for five minutes. I'm going to teach how to do this.

I'm going to teach you. Take two waters, go to the 24-hour fitness, do your little workout on the bicycle. You got your camera, and you got your... I already have the airfons. Two waters. Two waters are going to do nothing for me. Yes, they will. I'm trying to help you out here. You'll clean you out a little bit. You'll cut that TAC level down and you'll piss it out.

Plus you're going to sweat some out. So this is what I'm saying. Very important you go to the fucking 24-hour fitness and get this overboard. Get that 50 minute on the fucking elliptical and lift it up today and drink two waters. That's so scary. No, you're going to eat tamales. You're going to do the whole fucking thing. You've got to do this.

Take some vitamin C. Don't do it for you. Don't think of yourself or Paul. Think a look. Look at that flag. Take a look at that flag and what it stands for. Yeah? You understand me?

Get it together. You got the flying Jew t-shirt on. It's the holidays. You're the last day of Hanukkah. Get out with that 24-hour fitness. Get on that stair master. I was going to. What do you mean going to?

Get there. You're still going. You're still going. You're still going. He told me that he couldn't go out of the sunshine. He was like, I had to stay into a lifting workout. because I couldn't leave, I couldn't go into the sun. They didn't even jump off the bike once?

Oh, my God. The sun's anarchy. He was chasing me. Oh, my God. Oh, fuckenly. So, physiocarecenter.com. Yeah, PhysiocareCenter.com. And I'm going to be doing a couple of seminars next year.

I got one here in Los Angeles, March 21st and 22nd. Do you have Twitter? Yes, Physiocare. LA. ZioCare, LA. Where's the other seminars? I have one in

April in Columbus, Ohio. And working on the date there, people are about the 18th and 19th. And then in New Jersey on May 2nd and 3rd. Where in New Jersey? Oh, boy. I don't

exactly know. You're slipping. I am. Yeah, I know. These fans are going to fucking New Jersey. We'll do dates around this. I'll be in Columbus. But in January,

Super Bowl weekend, and that's the weekend. You should be there. That's when the fucking weightlifting things. Oh, Arnold, yeah. That's the weekend when you should be there giving our fucking cards. Tell them what's crack a back. Well, I brought cards for you to hand out. Did you? Yeah, yeah. I like it. Lee, what do you think? You have to look at your shoulders.

Maybe rub your feet. Maybe. Right now, I need, can you do anything with marijuana? You got some vitamin C around here. Yeah. Do you need too much? Oh Oh Tremendous Merry Christmas

I say kick up that vitamin C That'll help? Yeah oh yeah Fuck it Lee Go over to like a soldier And shit No

This only be tons of food We should go over to scass And get some Turkish coffee There you need some Turkish coffee Yeah I don't have my heart I don't want my heart To go that bad

You look at paranoid. I get it. Who thinks I'm not that hard? When they're drinking coffee, you understand me? You understand people what I have to deal with? Most people, you get them like a line of Coke and they're like, dog, I'm worried about my heart. I understand it.

This guy's worried about his heart from Turkish coffee. Well, I can't tell you how many times I'm going down that street and I have to turn around because I'm convinced I didn't turn the, the candle off and I didn't lock the door it has to be ten times at midnight stone out of my mind in that back parking lot which is terrifying at like 1130

I have the flashlight to my phone and I turn it on and I have a vulcan so I flip the key open and I run to my car and I lock the door so that I sit down because it's terrifying and there's always some guys standing there and it's oh it's terrible we gotta figure out how they got to

I don't think he doesn't work I think maybe the owner only has a key Fuck, we need something to the front It's scary, right? Damn Joel, you're a fucking savage I'm happy I wanted to see you yesterday Like I said, the pain went away

I have soreness in my knees But they'll be gone It's just, you know That'll be your Christmas gift tomorrow will be gone Yeah, it'll be gone So now that little thing in the middle there was the only thing that was bothering me. And I was just going to wait and go back

and maybe he had the shot to give me for the rubber again to coat the knee and to prevent the arthritis from stress. Who the fuck knows anymore? How do athletes come back? Because it's ACL and MCL. It almost happens every week. And I see, Joey, you've had two of them, and I see that you still sore.

How do these players come back at what seems like full strength? Well, what you typically will find they'll have another injury. Well, yeah, well, like, Derek, Rose had happened two years in a row. Right. Different knees. But why these guys are coming back so quickly now is they're actually injecting stem cells into their

right while the surgery's happening. They just put stem cells in. You should get stem cells. I don't. That's what you ate this morning. Stem cells. Those are some in the other levels I gave you. Yeah, that's why these guys are coming back so quick now. Okay.

Yeah. First off, I want to say something. All right. to a church family. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Me and Lee want to send you guys the best wishes to your family to everybody around you. We love that you're part with us.

You listen to us twice a fucking week. We come on here, we get stoned. We talk about some shit you want to hear. You are our number one sponsors. Thank you for being a part of our fucking lives. Thank you for coming on the show today. You're a savage and you provide a great service. I always feel better when I go see it.

And that's why you're on the show. with us, but we mean that from the bottom of my heart. These are our sponsors. On it, always doing a tremendous job. You want to feel better. On it's got alpha brain. That's how the party starts. I'll tell you, a thousand times.

I'll tell you again, you're going to a Chinese restaurant. You order pork fried rice. If it sucks, you pay the bill and you walk the fuck out of it. You understand me? Because if they fuck up the pork fried rice, you don't want to see what the mougou guy is going to look like. That's what I'm trying to say to here. You don't want to see what the mougougui rice is going to look like.

fucking looks like, okay? From one fucking fat fuck to the other one. Fat man alert! Fat man alert! I'm just dropping on you correctly. Same thing with... On it. Don't fuck around. I get something crazy.

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And it starts there. It's all about being at the top of your fucking game. Whether it's Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech, new mood, you're always been pulling forward. You like the protein powder? And the protein powder is my... The hemp-forced chocolate is fucking tremendous. This is like a you who meets a Carvel chocolate shake. You can't beat that shit.

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I don't know, dude. Out it! Go to honor.com and press in. Church. Oh, and get 10% off of your order. Don't forget to click the button. on the program where they send it to your house at the beginning of the month.

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Two free fucking rentals. Two. Some people give you one, snoop around. Get two. I dare you to fucking look around there and just want to just get two movies. As soon as you go there, you know, I got to watch this. I got to watch that. They got war Chinese stuff.

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Get frigging Chinese food. On me. Go there, get two fucking things of fucking movies of classic kung fu. On the church. That's how we're rolling tomorrow. If you like it, you're going to keep signing back up because these motherfuckers are with iron dragon TV. com are the future. Bring it down from me.

What are you pressing on? Joe and get two free rentals. It's perfect. Two free guy pan and Iron Dragon. Dragon TV. Don't get the Muggle Guy Pan. I didn't say that. No, but the...

You start up with the fried rice. It's good though. Let's say you've been there before. Tomorrow you've got to bust out the Chinese mania late night. You could just eat that turkey. You can't eat one more fucking turkey. You know what I'm saying? How much curd turkey can a fucking man eat?

You're like, yeah, this is great. Fuck that. Call the fucking Chinese guys. Tell them to deliver. Get some nice spare ribs, some nice egg rolls, some white rice, a little fucking Mongolian beef, maybe some shredded seshwans. Oh, shit. Some shredded,

some shredded seshuan fuck. Oh, tremendous. Go to iron dragon TV.com right now. Get two free fucking rentals. See what they're about. They're showing up this fucking January with the 4K TV technology. Nobody else got this shit.

That's how we're droplet on the church. Do me that favor. Right now. Iron Dragon TV right now. Dot com. Get two free movies. What's the cold word? Joey.

And just when you thought you're safe, you're sitting there and your underwear tomorrow for Christmas. you've been sitting there for the last two weeks thinking to yourself, what do I want for Christmas? What do you need? Look around you. Do you need new shoes? No, you know what you need? It all starts from within. Beauty starts from within, but if your balls ain't bright, it don't do nothing. Meundees.com. You know why? Because your underwear's in the fucking future.

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Sure. Let's say you meet a freak. You don't want to take your eye off this fucking dirty freak. You want to go on the back. I think what I'm trying to say to you is go to me and these.com. A selection. You want to get a nice present for yourself. You want to get a nice present for your girlfriend.

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Bitches here at the church of what's happened now. Stop with those underwears. You've had them for seven fucking years. Look at the inside of your underwear. You know what they look like? Death. That's right.

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and that's how you do it. Fuck it. You start small, but you go big. Go to meandis.com and press in. Joey. Oh shit in the box, and what do they get? They get 20% off of their first order and free shipping in the U.S. Like a motherfucker, because that's how we roll.

Merry Christmas. I didn't hear you say thank you. Good. Oh, shit. Here we go. Now I'm going to drop the best of the best. How do we end this? How do I end this by giving you something for free?

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The cocoa almonds, I'm getting a box lately. What? I should be getting a box later. Maybe I'll drop a little bag on you. I got to be there when the mailman gets her. The cocoa almonds are gone. The mailman gets there right now while you're fucking driving home to give them a drive to the bodega. I'll be your fucking almonds.

I've never got a cucket. I've never got cocoa almonds. Because you're fucking getting that to it. You're always busy, you know, jumping up and down playing Mexican bingo. When they first started, he came over and he gave me. He's like, they sent us a box. And I was like, he's like, just so you know, I took the cocoa almonds. You fucking are.

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and how they send it to your house direct every month, you're never going to go back to conventional again. Trust want to talk to you about this shit. I know all about this. I'm a fat fuck. Sometimes you're sitting there, you're looking around, you're hungry, you're sick of peanut butter, you open up your door, and there's a box in front of your door. Well, you're high, it's the best. It's the best. It's the best. Trust me I'm telling you. I wouldn't lie to you.

Go to Naturebox.com. Get this party started. Get the sample pack. What are they pressing the box? Joey? Joey, boom, and get a free sample box, direct the house. I don't want to dime out of your pocket. Always. Thank you for supporting on it. Thank you for supporting iron dragontv.tv.com. and thank you for supporting me on these.com and fucking naturebox. Naturebox.com. And that's it.

Happy holidays to all you, cock suckers. Thank you. Joe, how do they find you, my brother? Physiocarecenter.com, or you can call me 310430514. Don't forget about it. Call him breathing heavy. You should breathe heavy at first. Oh, what are you wearing, Doc?

You love a type of freaky shit. Oh, no, you should open up for that. I hope you'll have a secretary. you're going to need a new one with all the with freaking Nelia Samuel's calling him you have this one friend on

Twitter who writes like terrible awful things but they're hysterical all right dirty is we can send me the Twitter

thank you for an amazing year I hope you have a great holidays with your family and be safe don't drink and drive and all that shit

don't argue you know the fucking deal And we'll see you over the weekend with a podcast and not, but see you Monday morning. On Monday night, I don't fucking know. We don't know. We don't even think about that. What's with the questions? That's right, Cogsettna.

Now that the show's over, don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting, healthy snacks. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with healthy and delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels. Go to naturebox.com slash Joey. That's naturebox.com slash Joey. And there's also a box at joey-d-dies. with all your tour dates, Joey.

Where are the Ice House of New Year's? Yeah, yeah. Ice House, the New Year's. Buffalo, New York and shit. January 22nd. Buffy! Coming home, Papa. Oh shit.

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Oh no, sorry, two free rentals Get together with your slipper. Merry Christmas This is Christmas There you go, cock suckers I love you, stay black What have you done?