The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #260 - Doc Willis, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: February 25, 2015

Doc Willis, Comedian, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. 
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Recorded live on 02/24/2015.
 Music:
 Brother's Gonna Work It Out - Public Enemy The Song Remains The Same - Led Zeppelin

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slash Joey, you're going to get 20% off of your first order, and right now they're giving you free shipping in the United States and Canada. Go to onit.com and use code word church to get 10% off of all their optimization products like alpha brain, new mood, trumtech immune, trum tech sport, and go to iron dragon TV.com. Iron Dragon TV is a brand new Roku channel,

has all of your favorite martial arts movies. They have 4K technology, coming. You're going to be able to stream it on your Android tablets. Go to Iron Dragon TV.com. Use code Joe and get two free rentals. Oh shit. Oh shit. Special edition. Tuesday at three. Oh! What? The church always happened now, motherfuckers. Tuesday, February 24th. Pump that motherfucker up, please. Don't lower that. What? Papa got a

Get down Like what's said before Oh shit Oh shit Here you go motherfuckers Like they've never heard before What Lee Wiggle funk with George baby

Come on, let's go And stop taking Come on Come on Come on Oh shit What you think of that Motherfuckers

I think you're fired up today Churchill was happening. Now I got my main man Lee in studio, my main man Doc. What's your last name, Doc? Willis. It is Doc Willis. I was like, who the fuck?

I thought there was like a baseball player, some shit. What's up, Dee? Not much, man. Good to have you here. You know, I've been a fan of yours for a long fucking time. Man, I'm more of a fan of you. Love you like a motherfucker. What's up with you, Cuck Sucker?

Not how much. I had a kind of easy day. Okay. You got an easy day. Everything. Get up and fucking eight, then you sit there for ten. And then I call you two. I'm here.

What the fuck are you doing? Get up. Out. I worked on a blog. They put out a blog yesterday. You did? You put it out already? Yeah.

That's why I love you, bro. A blog. Oh, a blog. Really don't fuck around. I'm trying to do some writing. Try. You're letting the beard, grow? You're going to Florida this week and you have the bikini ready?

Oh, God. No. My dad goes nowhere near a pool. How about SPF number 10? He got a pound of locks. A pound of locks for you guys. He just, he called me to it. He's like, I think I got too much locks.

I got a pound. It's a pound for three days. And it's going to last until Sunday? Well, yeah, we're going to be there. You got bagels today? Yeah. What's the wrong with him? You get those daily fresh.

That's why he sends you and you bring them back fresh. That's what I'm telling them. Yeah, tell him, forget it. Throw those bagels out. By the time I get there, you're going to eat fresh fucking bagels. Unless you get them in a power tech

and ralps or something like that, they're terrible, those fucking things. I don't know where he got them. Yeah, you got to get nice. You like bagels? Yeah. I kill them. You kill those.

The fuckers. What's your favorite? You know what? They got this, like, pizza flavor kind. Where? I get them at this coffee shop. It's got, like, cheese and, like, a pizza sauce on it. Man, shit.

Shit. Tell me shit. They got that place by the Fairfax. That makes a nice bagel there. Fairfax and what? Fairfax and Sunset. On that side, next to the supermarket. They do turkey.

Oh, Bristol Farms? Next to Bristol Farms. We have a bagel place. Right next to Bristol Farms. I ain't ever paid no attention. Not bad. I went in Bristol Farms for the first time. Yeah, they don't fuck around in there.

You're going there with 100. They'll take it. Yeah, yeah. It's like... Bristol Farms don't fuck around, Jack. They find out when you go in there have something that reads your wallet and says how much is in your ATM car, and they'll take it. They'll raise the fucking fish prices. They'll do everything. Every time I go in there, I drop 50 bucks

for fucking lunch. They got great lunch. Oh, they do? They got... Yeah, they got good food. Oh, shit. I know. I just went in there and bought a cake. And they get cakes is fucking... Yeah, they don't fuck around. No, no, they don't fuck around. They don't fuck around at Bristol Farms. Damn, man. That shit is dynamic.

We haven't talked about your birthday cake, Joey. Oh, the fucking ice cream cake. Oh, my God. A Carvel cake. We got a little one, the little, little, little one. And me, Lee, my wife, and the baby ate some fucking delicious Carvel, bro. I don't even know what that is. Oh, shit.

Ice cream cake. They got on my rouse little ones. They got, like, chocolate. This one was mocha. No, it wasn't mocha. Like, I don't like mocha. And I was too high to tell you. But I don't like mocha.

It was like double chocolate. It had, like, the little chocolate balls on the outside. Oh, those little chocolate chips. Off the chain. I had a little piece. I still got in the refrigerator. There's something left? Still in the effort, but it's fucking got freezer burn.

My wife didn't close the back end, so it tastes like a fucking shrimp or something like that. I hate that shit. Yeah, when somebody puts something in the fridge that don't cover, then it's not the whole fridge that smells like Cubans. My mother would do that shit. You go to eat flan. It smells like steak and onions. You're like, what the fuck, man?

You got to cover this shit. But Cubans don't give a fuck. They'll just put the whole turkey in there with no cover. And everything tastes like fucking turkey in the fucking house. That shit drives me crazy. You hear the Red Sox sound? Another Cuban kid? Yeah.

LV2. But it's hysterical. It was a $31 million. But the sidekick was it was a $31 million tax. You know what that tax goes to? Who? Fidel, like a motherfucker. You think so?

I know so. Who's the tax for? I have no. Who's the $31 million tax voter? I don't know. So it was $31 million to sign him. Then there was a $31 million tax. I think whatever the signing bonus was going to be the tax.

It's a tax. So who do you think that tax goes to? They want to. at the embargo to be lifted, that's Fidel's paper. All right. So next time you talk about Jews, you better fucking check into Fidel's heritage. Because that motherfucker don't stop, man. Carlos Ladegh, the big drug dealer that worked with the meddling cartel of those years, went up in front of Congress.

Once he was in jail, and he ratted out Fidel. He said, we were giving him $800,000 a ship. Wow. Fidel didn't care. What was on that ship? I don't know. I don't care if you're going to make $20 billion. I want $800,000 a ship.

Think about that. they were sending out 10 ships a week. I'm surprised so Fidel, he's got too much paper. He's like Mitch and sure. When you get that type of money, you don't die. Old Jews don't die. They keep doing fucking plastic surgery

and putting them in caves and shit. They don't die until that last dollar is spent because they ain't leaving shit that they're fucking relatives. Those fucking Jews are fucking... I love them. I love Jewish people. They're so cut through it.

I love them. But I was telling you guys today that I have an agent. I have a theater. theatrical agent have a voice and they're all in the same building. Nice people. It's all the same agency. The theatrical's a little weak and whatever's a little weak. But things are bad all over in L.A.

Things are not what they used to be for auditions. People are freaking out. It's horrible. So I talked to this old agent I had years ago. He called me out of the blue with that conversation. He says his agency was number 55, ranking and all this. I said, you know what, man, I'll come down there and talk to you. That's all I said. Let me come down and talk to you. Just so happened. Last Tuesday, I had a meeting.

So I had to cancel his. And then Thursday I had an audition. I got a callback for an animated game. One of those fucking Call of Duty games. Right. So the meeting was Thursday at 2. My callback was Thursday at 2. When I get signs like that, that's something.

Something. When something doesn't want me to go somewhere, that's a sign. Right. No matter how good it sounds, you know? You're superstitious like that too? Yeah, very superstitious. Very superstitious, you know. If you're supposed to go somewhere on the Wednesday, you don't know, when it rains,

then the next day something else happens you're not supposed to go down there don't even go down there so that Thursday I called him like a man he's an agent so I can't lie to him I go hey man I got a call back to producers I got to meet with the producers for Pembroke Frank they were cast and director in the Valley

they put me in maybe six movies seven movies and 10 years great fucking people real loose you can tell they get high everybody they're higher these young kids they talk about dope they got music playing in there you know so I called him like a man I go

Hey, man, I got a producer session. I can't meet with you. He goes, well, if you want to, you could still fire your age. And I go, why would I want to do that? I have to pay two commissions. I'm paying two commissions. I got a two-year-old, bro.

I'm paying two commissions. I go, let me figure this out, and I'll call you back. But he called me during my birthday last Thursday. You were over? My wife, we were having a good time. He called me at 615, which I'm not big on.

Don't call me a 615 unless it's an envelope. Don't be calling me the chit-chat. It's dinner. You know what I'm saying? I would never call somebody at 6 o'clock, just in case, you know. So I talk to him Thursday. I go, all right, we'll talk tomorrow. The next day, I don't call them.

You know, I get busy. This motherfucker calls me again at 6 o'clock. Now I'm at the church with the baby and the wife, and they're showing movies, and they give free tacos and shit. Just something for kids. It was like 80 kids running around. So I'm not going to be here for three weeks. I figured I'd go.

6.15, this motherfucker calls me again. And he starts his routine. I go, I stop my goal, number two. I told you yesterday. I'm not paying two commissions. and number one, I'm dear friends with one of the agents. Let me talk to him. And once this is all done, once I shoot it, I'll sign with you.

But right now, it's a fucking nightmare if I do this. This is what happened to me last year. I left my agent and I had to shoot Marin and now the both agents wanted money. I ain't giving you shit. Trust me. I won't give it to you. We'll rip this contract up right now.

If I get it, I ain't giving you a fucking dime. I work too hard. So I tell them at the end, I go, listen, let me fix this shit. Let me shoot with the project. And then I'll fucking sign them. you. I got a call from my agent today saying, hey man, who'd you sign with?

They're already on your IMDB and they took me off show fax. They mean that you can't even submit. I looked at this. I just called the agency and I go, tell them to call me back. And I called to sell them and I go, you know, are you a fucking asshole? Or are you taking fucking lessons? I call you like a man.

Right. I talk to you like a fucking man and tell you the truth. What's going on? And you go behind my back and take my agency off my fucking law without my permission? I can call SAG. You get in trouble for that shit. I ain't a crime stopper. I go, you're a fucking asshole.

Now we're done. Don't ever call me back again. You know, take it. You have an hour to get this off fucking, whatever, an hour. And then I see that the guy that was helping me in New York, he disappeared too. He took him off. That's the way this guy is. I mean, that's how people are in L.A.

Like bitches. Like fucking bitches. How old is he? 50, 40. It doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck if he's fucking 10. Nobody. When I was younger, I used to get excited about something.

I'd be too over-anxious, and that always kills things. Like, you can't seem too needy or so I didn't know if he was young. I talked to him as a man. There's no young. When you talk to somebody as a man and go explain the situation to him, he still does it. He did it because he's a devious motherfucker. Yeah, he's like a little bitch. See, how I met this guy was he used to be partners with my old manager.

Guess what happened? My old manager and his wife broke up. This guy started dating it. They've been together for years. So right there, you've got to suspect somebody. Right there, that's just, that's my ex-man. Just for not checking him. So right there, when he told me that, I'm with her now.

She's just to say hello. I was like, in my world, that's not cool. That's not cool. You know what I'm saying? That's just not cool. But as we were talking, that's L.A. You get these people that were raised out here, they don't even know they hang out with gentrified Gentiles.

So they have no, you know, it's like we found out now what I was saying, on stage, the joke is true. When I wrote it, it was true. I didn't know if you wanted to bring it up. These Gentiles, you know, there's a big thing with the peanut allergy. Yeah. And once I discovered this, my

head almost blew up, because this is unheard of. This is unheard of in any other culture. In any other culture, when you have an allergy to something, you feed it. You know, and fucking grease, if you're allergic to bees, they'll get a bunch of bees and sticking you with them and shit until your bee allergy goes away. But when I was a kid, I figured this out.

When I was a kid, I just liked maple syrup. And I couldn't have it, so I started eating, and eventually the maple syrup. Your body, the allergy. Same thing with dogs. I got bit by dogs eight times because I was allergic to them, so I get creepy around them. I'm like, don't touch them, don't touch them. And they bite me. So once I figured out, you talk to them and you hang out with them, the allergies go away.

This lady was telling me, no, once you have a peanut allergy, he has it forever. I go, no, he don't. If he's about 50, you'll have a forever. But if you take a kid that's five with a peanut allergy and you give him a little peanut, you blend that motherfucker every day. You don't give him a whole peanut and kill the motherfucker. You just give him a little bit. they let them itch for a little while,

eventually you'll build your fucking resistance to it. And where'd they do the study, and fucking Israel with the Jews, because it's a culture. See, there's a problem that happened in this country. Right now, all these yuppies, they're gentrified Americans. Right.

They're like third generation, fourth generation. Whatever they had, loyalty to their culture is completely gone. They're just white bread, wonderbread motherfuckers walking around, lying to people with no character, with their fake fucking glasses. And, you know,

the Jones, they drink Starbucks every day. They pay eight bucks for coffee. That's gentrified Gentiles. They want to be a part of in their dick. They got nothing inside, just those little fake glasses. And their tattoo, they roll up their sleeves, so you make sure and see that tattoo. They ain't got nothing. That means they got nothing inside.

That's why they're putting the fucking tattoos on. So, you know, these motherfuckers are telling me, no, no, no, you're going to die. My kid ain't going to fucking die. The culture has changed. Like, my mother used to check under my eyelids. Did you know that when I was a kid? Every morning when I wake up, she'd go, come here. She'd check under my eyelids to see the blood under there.

If there wasn't enough blood under there, she'd make me a fucking rare steak. This is when I was five, okay? We grew up on a thing called emosive of cod, not cod liver oil, emosive of cod. It's like taking a fish and putting in the blender with the bones and the eyes and the tail and drinking that shit again. Now, and when I was a kid, it came white. It was white. They have that CVS.

But now, because kids are pussies, they have them strawberry flavored and cherry flavored. They ain't no flavor. That flavor is death. It's like strong fucking sperm. They give it to you in a spoon when you're a kid. Cuban minds, give it to you in a spoon. You never get the flu. I was never sick as a kid.

Wow, that's cool. I was never sick until I got, I never had flus or cough. Right, right, right. I was a sickly kid till about eight, and then it all changed because my mom said, fuck these American doctors. I'm going to take care you my way.

Lee and I were talking about this, that coaches, you know, different coaches have different remedies. Mexicans have you. you get your nose busted, they'll put a penny on your forehead to make your nose stop bleed. Does it work? Who gives a fuck?

It may don't, but they believe that. Some coaches just have different fucking remedy. Paula's mom makes voodoo drinks. It has, like, different spices. She says it tastes like wood, to be honest. And what does it do for you? I don't know. Paula had it when she had a surgery

that they were worried could have been cancer, but it wasn't. And then her mom took it for something in her stomach. So I think it's just like, they have different things for, like, just any, like, general fixes. But I'm actually worried about that. My mom has been really on, like, a germ cake lately.

Like, she always has the sanitizer, and she won't touch certain things. And she, like, she got nerd. She was, like, in the elevator, she presses the buttons with her elbows. She's, like, doesn't want to get germs. And I'm like, I... Your mom has been... Your mom has been slipping for years. You know this.

I love you, but you're slipping. No, but there's a lot of people who do that. No, they don't. Because they're not Jews. You know why Jews don't? give a fuck? Because what's the filthiest thing you could touch?

A dick? A dollar bill. Any Jew that's worried about germs, he's a fucking puke. All right? Because any Jew knows, if there's a $20 bill with shit on it,

a Jew will pick that motherfucker up, blow that shit in the air and put that in his pocket. He ain't worried about hepatitis. Like germs. That's a fucking 20 with shit on it. I'll pass that CBS to the Puerto Rico.

I'll never know. Fuck damn. I don't know. Your mom's like, as I just said, She's too gentrified away from culture. You know, she's not touching doors and shit. I don't touch your door at 7-11, but they give you a dollar with fucking a bowl on it.

I'm taking that motherfucker-dollar. You understand me? So tell you mom to get the Jew back in her. She needs to put the hat out. I'm a $20. Am I fucking lying to you? Am I lying to you? I'd probably pick it up.

Sure you would. Me too. I don't give a fuck. When I was a kid, there was a net, one day I had changed in my thing, and I went in the toilet and there was shit floating. And I put my hand in this shit as a kid, like under the shit. It was touching my, it was my own shit.

It's not like it's a stranger. That's disgusting. I took the change. I don't give a fucking. Then you washed your hands when I lived. Nobody fucking dies. Doc, what's up, you bad motherfucker? Doc, how long I know you now?

Sure. Probably, roughly, I started doing open mic in and out of the comedy store in the early 2000, like 2001. And then I'll come back here and there, here and there. So I've been knowing you since you was hosting open mics back then. Two, two, two, two, thousand. Yeah, yeah, so it's been about 13, 14 years. 15 years, yeah.

Yeah, so you were a little kid when I met, you right? Yeah, not a little kid. I was about 26. I'm a little kid. You can't be no 31 now. I'm 41. 41, yeah, you were a little kid when I met. You were a lees age when I met.

Yeah, yeah. Amazing. You had to start doing your thing. Now, we're comedy store guys, but I disappeared for seven years. Right. I had different reasons. I knew that, uh, I knew I was there when it all went down.

Right, but I knew my reason, I had been going away from there a little earlier. I knew that to open up other doors, you had to close that door. I had been at the store too long. Yeah. It felt like, and it felt like it was going a different direction. And the direction was the kid's name was Tommy. Right. And I was friends with Joe, and I go down there, and Joe would put me and Ari before him.

Right. And he always had a problem with that. He didn't like that. He wouldn't say nothing to Joe. He'd say it to me. and then when Joe went on tour with whatever a comedy with Eddie Murphy's brother and John Ephron Joe Rogan? Yeah, went on tour in 2000, something five

with those guys and that's when he was gone Tommy would say things to me and I would say, Tom, what you're saying this shit to me for? The whole time, he's falling in love with that pew caparulo. Right, right. And he's milking caparulo and he's telling him Caparulo he's funny in Carlos Mucin and Joe Rogan he's feeling all these people.

And I like John at the time. Me and John got along. It was when John sided with him. Right. And then I had a couple problems down. They had problems with Tommy, but I also had a problem with Dean. Do you remember I almost smacked Dean? Yeah, I went that outside.

And that's one, a week later was when I joined Kung Fu with the brothers on Vermont. Because that's when I realized I was so much out of shape. Right. That was why I said to you, Steve Byrne gave me that look that night. And Steve saw the crazy. I mean, Steve never really talked to me after that because I was going to fucking go. after Dean. When they were shooting that thing

with the store one night. The mining the store thing? Mine in the store. It was one night TBS came in to see Pauley. So Pauley made sure that me and Rogan, a bunch of us, wouldn't go up. So Rogan got into an argument

with Pauley and Dean in the hallway. And I was sitting outside. And I turned my back because the things they were saying to Joe, I thought Joe was going to knock them out. And I honestly turned my back for the lie detector test that I did not see nothing.

The manager. Yeah, not Dean Delray, the company. No, no, Dean Gilbert. So, Dean and I got into words and I pushed them and people got in between us. I just didn't like him either. I just didn't fucking like him. Why or who? I don't know why.

I was on the co. I had my problems, you know, and I just felt it. I just felt that he wasn't a cool dude, time. And I knew it doesn't take a genius in my life to know when I'm going to have problems with somebody. Yeah. So after the thing went down with Carlos and those pussy-ass comics turned on Joe, I had no reason to go down there because I'm the type of guy.

If you can't have a voice, if they scared you with a spot, then I don't want to be your friend. I don't give you a comic. And that's my problem with comics that their loyalty is not for us. If it's between your friendship and a spot of the club, they'll go with the spot of the club. That's wrong like either, man. That whole ordeal was my thing at the store. See, I didn't know what Tommy.

I knew he was racist. Now, imagine this. You was able to just walk out and leave. Now, I could have walked out and leave. But my thing was, was like, I was an employee there, so I was exposed to way more than what you were. And so my thing was, like, why run? You know what I'm saying?

I'm like, if these guys are going to be bitches, then I'm going to be the only one that's going to be causing hell around here. Because I was like, Tommy ain't going, he's not going to get away with this shit. What I'm here, you know, and I'm like, So I went full force whatever or whatever I had to get towards.

Now, not to interrupt, were you there at night when I went off in the main room with Jeff Fonda? I know, yeah, I know. I was there for the, I thought it was for the Maryland-Marlin Martinez thing. Yeah, I was there. That's not that went off. Yeah, to pull me off stage. And I was going on. But I was working outside when you went off.

And so I didn't see what happened. All I know is that they came to me and told me what happened. And I was like, what a joke? And then from there, I know that there, you either left or they banjo or whatever, some shit. I had left, that was about three months. I wasn't really going there anymore. I hadn't made any decisions yet.

I just kept telling Tommy and everybody that was on the road. I just wouldn't go down there. Because at that time, Caparulo started getting an attitude. Like, he was a tough guy. He didn't know he'd be flying through a fucking window if it came down to it. He just got crazy down there,

so I knew before it got crazy, I'm going to get the fuck out of here. There's no reason to hang out here no more. Right. And then I heard the allegations of racism. I heard that he told a couple of black comics get the fuck out of here. I heard that he called a woman a nigger to her face.

Yeah, two of them. Yeah, they got him too. I don't know what the deal was. I just heard this through the years. And I'm like, and I had, you know, Tom Petty, as they called him, was fucking racist. Yeah, he was, man, he was horrible.

I could tell when somebody they don't like spicks and niggers and chinks. I could tell it. They don't take a fucking genius. They just have a certain aura to them. I only met him a couple times, and he was weird to me just because I was very lucky

Steve and Tony would put my name down to but he talked me like maybe he thought I was an agent or something but as a fan of podcasts I've heard nothing but bad things about him like so why do you think he lasted for as long as he did because the brothers was fighting over the club

you had Paulie and Peter fighting over the club and Peter had no idea what was going on because Peter lives in Oregon and Paulie was there so they were fighting because one felt one was that Peter felt like Paulie was too selfish and he didn't know how to run a club. And then he was only trying to do it for his own benefit.

And then Pauli felt like, Peter, well, you're not here. You don't know what's going on. So it was just like a whole lot in between and financial stuff like that. So while they were fighting and going to court, because it was on the news. Right. So while they was going through that, there was nobody there to do anything for him because he was the door guy. And he wound up like, like, he wind up being. like an errand boy for her because you know how all of us employees used to have to run water over

there sometimes take her to their house so he started doing that consistently then he started being around her more then he started taking her to the doctor and doing all those other stuff and then duncan trussle went yeah he quit so then mincy at the same time she was dilapidating mentally you know struggling with the parkinson dementia you know what i'm saying so like the more she was breaking down what she would do is she would make the list give it to to tommy and then she would come in and check and make sure that those people were going up and as time went on she taught him but she started breaking down quick and once she got pulled once the brothers kind of like pulled her out of equation because she couldn't she couldn't be

there anymore they just left him in power because that was all they knew so there was it was like he was just in the position where nobody else was there you know nobody so he got that position and then all hell broke loose because he started implementing his dumb-ass rules and then he started putting like his own personal feelings towards the racist shit and all that and it and it And it killed the life of the club. For everybody else who was getting spots and getting on to them, it was like, no, it was great when he took over.

I was like, you know, every time they say that, I go, hey man, well, name the people who made the club hot. And if you name all the motherfuckers that he named, them all the people that Missy Pass and them all the motherfuckers that was working the doors. So what they tell you? She knew what the fuck she was doing. Everything has an up and down to it, you know what I'm saying?

So people didn't realize that she was on the down curve. She was on the down part on her way back up. So as soon as that happened, Sebastian, got hot Cabrillo got hot Steve Burns started coming around they got Ian Edwards they started getting all these guys coming in and at that time that's right after Joe left because Joe Joe left and then so all these guys just started rising and people were like praising him and I'm like come on man you can't you can only give him a certain part of the praise and that was in this very minute part of it but but to the put it to the other guys who were getting spots oh he did this he did

that now look what happened Adam takes over less than five months he's doing twice as better than this dude. You see what I'm saying? So that automatically lets you know where he was mental. The thing that bugged me and I think bugs a lot of people at any job is when a boss takes themselves too seriously and gives

himself more power. That's what he was doing. He lost his mind. He became Bud Freeman overnight. He was telling comics what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to dress. And it's like, who the fuck are you? And I'm hearing this. I'm living my life but I'm having these things going

this just isn't right that you should be doing it. When I went down to, he broke down to me the school of mincing how he formulated Tony Hinchcliffe. Well, yeah, well, here's the thing, what he was doing. Because he was taking knuckleheads like T and just, because they were young. You know what I'm saying? So he was just taking

his own little school group of guys and saying, okay, let me try to cultivate these little dudes right here. That's the word he used. And being, yeah, and he would push all the older guys out the door because he had this dumb-ass philosophy. He would say comedies for 30 and under. Because basically what he was saying was, as long as people was young enough for him to manipulate mentally, he could do that. You know what I'm saying? So that was his whole thing.

And so he was trying to push these guys and make these guys into stars. You can't make people into stars. They either got to or they don't. You know what I'm saying? You got to be about the game. He wasn't true to the game. If you ain't true to the game, you ain't going to be shit. You only going to be what the fuck you are. So that's why he lost everything. You know, he had the world in his hands. He had the number one club in California, in my opinion. You know what I'm saying? and he took that and manipulated it all for his own power trip. And the thing is, he didn't realize he was so insignificant in this world as far as the world of comedy.

He didn't realize that. That's something that even the owners know that. You know what I'm saying? The owners know that, yeah, they got some part of it. But this real game, when we become as an individual, especially if you become a star or famous, in my opinion, you do more than what an owner has ever done. because it takes, it's a level,

there's a level to this game that an owner would never be able to experience as a stand-up comedian. You know what I'm saying? And so I look at the game and I look at people like Tommy and I just, I just brush him to the side, man. I used to get into arguments with him all the time

because he used to try to tell me how to do my stuff. He told me, he tried twice. I told him, shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. Like, you don't know what you, what are you talking about? He would mimic Missy shit. I've been around and know what Missy.

say. You know what I'm saying? So he was saying, your beast is coming. I'm like, nigga, you ain't Missy. Stop saying that. Say your own words. It's just like, you said, hear the people who are like, well, tell me, man. It was bad. Well, you told me a story, Joey, about your roommate who was the talent coordinator. Right.

And so isn't it, isn't it part of a comic's fault? Because you told, you said like your roommate, they kiss up to him because of who he is. We had this conversation at the, and Joe's podcast about the tape, sending the tape. Right. And it happens.

You ever go to a Burger King, a White Castle? Yeah. And you're just, anything. I'm just using, I'm using fast food. And you're sitting there, mine, in your business, and some boss comes in and just goes off. I had all those bosses. And you're looking at the employee going.

And even the employee's like, something goes to their head. They get this. They become something other than what they're supposed to pay. They become too cool or sunglasses or they come in an hour late Or they're in authority on everything now And you just don't have that in comedy Right

It affected me the most in comedy Because again, we're busting our motherfucking ass And you're telling me my fucking business You're in a club in Kansas I got nothing against Kansas I'm just saying you're in a fucking little club in Kansas That nobody performs at just local guys And guys from the Midwest

And you're telling me my fucking business about LA shut the fuck up. And that was my beef. And then they get too big, like Mark Babitz and the guy from Tempe. They get too big in their mind. Oh, people really like me. You know, people think this.

I'm an expert in comedy. You know, the guy in Tempe wanted to be the guy here at the improv. The guy from Houston wanted to be the guy here at the improv. And it's like that guy I told him. I was thinking about that story today, the drummer from the Crickets, buddy Holly band,

who how he would do it to young. The abuse that goes on with young comedians and a comedian that is trying to find his voice, it's disheartening. And that's why I don't give a fuck about these known comics. When I see these young guys, they're the ones that I give a hug to and let them know. Dog, you're doing the right thing.

Fuck this bitch. Throw a glass at that motherfucker. Fuck him. Fuck him. Make your marker and enforce it like they told you in Scarface. Because once you let motherfuckers know, you ain't fucking with them, they won't hire you.

And that's good because I'm going to knock you out anywhere We're going to get into an argument, or I'm going to quit, or something's going to happen. Or there's a flip side to this, guys. You guys are hearing me going, Joey, why are you being so rough? I'll tell you what. Because if you're not rough on them, you're going to be rough on yourself. You're going to take this abuse from these people. And you're going to become something else.

It's going to make you drink. When it comes to your art, I don't know about your fucking job. Your job is something different. Your job, you're working for them. They're going to go off. That's what you're working for them. No, but there's a difference. Every boss I ever had that acted like Tommy, or it seemed like Tommy acted like, had no life outside of that place.

No, absolutely. So like what you're talking about, when someone goes into their job and they're making $12 an hour as a manager, and you're making nine as a regular employee, and they're yelling at you, and you should be here 15 minutes early and just yelling at you for nothing. That person always, like, is who doesn't have any friends. He goes home and no one talks to him. The guy from, I don't really trip too much on. if a boss yell at me, this depends.

If I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do, and I can yell that. That's fine. I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to do. But like a guy that just constantly just on 10 all the time, it's just like, hold on man, you know, you, you're being disrespectful.

And the hardest part is like, I come from a rough city, you know, and I grew up with a gang. You know what I'm saying? So as a teenager, I was around killers and, and we've been a part of, I've been a part of something

that most people, on experience. So when you have the mentality like I have, it's hard to take. The digest. Yeah, to digest when somebody's not right. If they're not real, you know what I'm saying? Like, if I hate people who, they're only a certain way with certain people and then they flip when the next person come.

And I'm like, what is this? I love my favorite. You can talk about it. I go to the store sometimes at Joey. Right. And a lot of people have been very cool to me. Yeah. But some people don't even make eye contact.

They'll say hi to everyone in the circle, who they know, and just turn their back to me. Right. So you said you worked at the store. Like, would you experience that? Would you experience comics being nice to everybody and then yelling at you to get their car? I've had it happen and I've checked people. I'm one of them dudes that have a problem with that. You know what I'm saying?

So like, especially don't fucking shake my hand and then tomorrow don't shake my hand. You know what I'm saying? Now, the flip side of that is this. there are some people who in my stomach I can't stand and I'm not going to lie to you like sometimes I just can't force myself to say hi sometimes I'm like man fuck this dude today but there's a difference between

disliking somebody but still respecting them and doing your job or dealing with them and then just awful there are some bosses who treat people terribly yeah yeah but that's just yeah that's just everywhere you know if anything anywhere I mean it was people in my own game that that I wasn't cool with.

You know, but that's just, that's, everywhere you go, there's somebody in some way, shape, or form, no matter where you are that's like that. You go to a church, I guarantee you, one of them church members, you just ain't going to get along with it. Right. You're just going to get along with everybody. Yeah, you just said. That's what life is about. Yeah, y'all, whether it's

connect, whatever it is, you know, but because of, because of what you're trying to accomplish, you just do it for the sake of that. But other than that, man, when Hollywood is filled with fake people. Filled. So, so, so, it's not. And you have to check that. That's where my mistake has been. That I've always

checked Hollywood people and the word got out. Right. And people don't like to be checked. Anywhere else in the country, I pull you a sign, oh man, before you were a little rough on Lee. Right. You were a little rough on me, though, you know. Oh man, I'm sorry. I had a bad day. My wife left me. Cool, dog. Let me tell Lee.

Right. You know, the next time he says Lee, he'll pull Lee to the side and buy him a drink. Here, don't look at you, like, you disrespect him. Like, you blew up their fucking world. Right. I've been on sets. I was on set where a fucking director yelled I mean I turned around and said hey bitch before I became a comic or an actor I'm a fucking man and that's where it ends and I'm treat you like a man fuck this director shit with your little tattoos and

your glasses and your hats everybody knows you're a fucking director you know so when I come on the set if I can tell you the director I don't want to do business with you yeah I want to see the guy is dressed like a fucking bump as a director not because got the hat with the feather and his sleeves are rolled up and oh that's the director who gets a fuck fuck him Yeah, I'm kind of like when, because I yell a lot at the comedy store, you know, at a lot of people. And it's, it's primarily because I get too hot too fast. You know, I get, I go from zist to zist.

And then a lot of it is because of the fake people. And the people who, they don't really have a love for not just the game of comedy, but just for people in general. Just for people in general. Yeah. So they, so they, so they. they only they live in these self-centered worlds where they only exist but then they come in yours and you're like no no no homie like like if you pay attention the world you're coming in is mine and the world you're living is is yours and minds and minds is yours it's all the same world so so like how do you how do you disrespect me

like by treat me like shit because you know this person and you you you connected with that person and you man And people so funny style it that I just, I had a hard time with it, Joe. I still have a hard time with it. And at the comedy store, I have to work on that because, you know, people catch me. They're like, man, don't be yelling at me, man. And I'll just be like, sorry, man.

It's just sometimes I get so mad at them because it's like they don't give a fuck, man. Like, they'll just, the guys will just be sitting on the door and the whole hallway be filled with people talking in the hallway, and comics is on the stage. And I'm like, dog, like, what's your job? Like, I shouldn't have to tell you to clear this out, don't. Like, you know what I'm saying?

But it's like nobody cares. I don't yell at them because I'm trying to be a boss. I'm trying to yell at them to get them to understand that. We all spin this together. This comedy game, it goes from the owner all the way down to the gender. Everybody's gets the same love. There's no, you don't show. this person, this kind of love, and do half an ass job over here because you feel like this,

you do your shit all the way through. And that's why I'd be trying to get them at the club. Like, this is a team thing. So if the waitresses need the dudes out the hallway, then you move the dudes. You don't sit there and be at the back talking to everybody and just letting it all chaos go all over here. And the girls got these heavy cherries back hurting, carrying them all back and forth. Like, where's your care at, homie? That's what I get mad about.

I'd be like, come, man. Common sense. Yeah. Common sense is always fucking. and drove me crazy on people. You get the airports. You got nine bags of people in front of you. You stop at the door.

Oh, it's a beautiful airport. Get the fuck out of the way. What beautiful airport. Move. There's people behind you. Move. They stop right there. They put their bags down.

It's just, this society is the worst. I feel that anything I've been. People online in the world, they call them douchebags, and people have money, or they act weird. Like, when we go to that coffee shop over on Riverside and Kofax, where I tell you to stop by. There's people who just,

pull up, block other people's cars, and get out and get coffee. And I go nuts. You told me something in the deal. You judge people on the little things. Yeah. And there's nothing to me that infuriates me more, especially in a city where parking is rough than people who

just, you can tell so much by how they park. If they're in two spots with their nice new car and it's packed, it's dinner time in a restaurant, and they just didn't care that someone else isn't going to be able to park there, heck, like it kills me. You have something with parking in front of your house?

In my neighborhood. In fact, I saw it last. I saw the Mercedes. That was brand new. First of all, if you buy a Mercedes and you take the train to work, pay for fucking the parking by the train. This fool parks by my house. So I know the motherfuckers around the corner from me evil. And one day, this guy bought the car brand new, and he took three parking spots.

And two days later, I went out there, and he was yelling the guy with the Mercedes. Somebody scratched my hood in the side of the door. That's the type of neighbor you live in, motherfucker. So next time you'll park correctly Today I went by His car was parked correctly It was parked on the corner He left the space for three people

But he had to fucking take that brand new car back And get the door buffed out in the hood That he'll park correctly from now on That shouldn't even have to happen That should not have to happen But that's society today And I applaud the guy that scratch his fucking car Applaud it and do that

And your neighbor you see a guy that ain't doing the right thing Scratch his fucking car And when he comes out Hey man Hey and wave at them What happened? These fucking kids in this neighborhood With the shopping carts

They walked by You said something real interesting before The lawsuit at the store Tommy from A to Z What the fuck happened? From my understanding Paulie I'm talking about the Tommy one

When you had to go to Beverly Hills Oh the law The racist thing Oh So I give an approach by the lawyer And he's like The lawyer of one of the lawyers of the club.

So he's like, Doc, we want to talk to you. Come down to the downtown Beverly Hills and we need to talk. And then I was like, he's like, you know what this is about? And I told him, yeah, at first because I kind of figured it about Tommy.

And then when he walked away, I was like, wait a minute, not because I know Paulie and his brother was going to court about this club. So I was like, I hope it ain't got to do with that because I don't know shit about this. You know what I'm saying?

That's between him and Peter. You know what I'm saying? That's family shit. So I went down there and then once I got down there there they was like man doc we've been knowing I've been knowing you for about six to eight years now why why you never even told us about this with Tommy

and then I said well I said well as racist as this dude then I said I said I figured y'all to find out sooner later I said but I've been telling everybody else who I need to tell and then he said and I said now you found out now how do you know because I didn't come back I didn't come and snitch on him you know what I'm saying because I mean

and then he's like well I don't know Peter called me and he told me don't talk to nobody but you first and that you was the dude to talk to and he said so what's the deal he's like what's going on and I said well I said what you didn't heard he said well I've heard some things but do you have anything you saw or seen him do

I said no there's nothing he's that he's said directly to me everything's been done indirectly and I said but it's through all the people that he's associated with and affiliated with all the other comics with deception of those who was getting spots and didn't want to reveal it to me but even those who was revealed who getting spots

was revealing it to me like Rick Ingram, you had some real dudes that were just like, look, man, this is how this dude is. This is what this dude been saying. And that's how I started finding out. And then the story started coming from the waitresses to everybody. I was like, what the fuck? All the white waitresses are just tons of people, that story after story. So he asked me, you say, man, what would?

Name something that happened. So, like you was talking more early with the calling the black girls, it was two of them. Was she a comedian? No, this is what happened. I came in on the Saturday. Employee come tell me what happened. He's like, hey, man, this happened Friday last night. I go, what? Because I wasn't there that Friday night.

And then the comedians came later, and then they verified the story, and they said the same thing. And I'm like, wow, so this is what happened. Two girls came to the show. They was from the hood. You know, at that time, Tommy Whitened the show so much that nobody really couldn't enjoy the shows except white America or people that was more involved in white culture. You know what I'm saying? So they watched the show, they start getting bored with the show.

So they start heckling. So which is, you know, any club policy that you heckle, you got to leave. Simple. So as they was leaving out, some of the comics were standing right there on the OR start. You know how everybody leaned up against the pictures and they all talk back and forth right there. So some of them were standing there. And then, you know, at that time it was still kind of popping on the patio. Instead, the girls were making so much noise, I guess some people kind of leaned in and looked like, what's going on?

And the girls was coming out. Like it was cussing at everybody like, fuck y'all. we're not coming back here. Y'all can keep this corny ass comedy play, blah, blah, blah, and all this. And as they got down the stairs and they got ready to go out the door, they said, Tommy leaned out the booth and yelled at the girls, that's why you fucking niggers don't belong out here. You need to stay where the fuck you belong.

So instead of the girls realizing that they had a lawsuit, because they could just took the witnesses everybody's numbers and said, hey, y'all saw what happened, and then did a lawsuit, they just ran back up the stairs, cussed them out, and then left. So, like, I told them that story. and I told them about one of the waitresses came to me. Another story about one of the waitresses. I was talking to her. And then she was like, you won't believe what Tommy did?

And I go, what? And then she goes, well, I went up there. You know how like the waitresses when they won't change? They run up to that big window in the OR. But if the cashier is up talking to a customer or the comics right there at the little window, sometimes they'll just run around there and interrupt if it's a comic they talk to. But if not, they'll just stand behind a customer and wait. But in this particular case, she didn't.

She just grabbed a rope and just, like, waited on the side. So Tommy couldn't see her over here waiting. So a white customer come in. He walked up to her, walk up to him, and he says, hey, I'm going to be on vacation for this week. And I came here Tuesday to come check out the show. And he said, your show was really good on Tuesday. And he said, is it just going to be as good as your show that you had on Tuesday? And then Tommy was like, yeah, all our shows are good.

What are you talking about? He was like, yeah, he was like, are you going to have some of those same comics too? Because I was over in that big room. Those guys was really funny. And she said, without missing the beat, he looked at the customer and said, what? You went to the fucking nigger show. Our show is funnier than the fucking nigger show. She said the customer back and was like, what the fuck?

And he got awkward. And she said, he looked at her and she said, she was standing there like, oh, my God. Like, what the fuck? And then I asked her, I was like, was he an old dude? She was like, yeah, he was like in his mid-40. And I was like, what, he looked like a bum. And some shit was like, no, she's like, he could have been a diplomat or something. And he's just like, he don't even know who the fuck this guy was.

He just threw that shit out there. And I go, holy shit. And then I was like, all right, man. And so like we got into it was because one of the comments came back and told me they was like, man, doc, man, I was talking to Tommy. And he started getting really upset. I said, man, calm down. I was like, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what he said.

And he was like, man, what Tommy said? He hated you and Missy hates you. And the only reason that she keeps you here is because you show up for your and how he don't like niggers and niggers shouldn't interracial date and he said that, uh, yeah, man,

just so then just, just, yeah, man, it's just like, so then, so then he's upset because his, his aunt is married to a black man.

So, so he's flipping out, and I'm like, calm down. I was like, it's cool. I'm gonna handle this shit. So, like,

after that, I just started telling everybody, but I gave everybody else or more straight to the point story. I didn't give him that. I basically said that Tommy was saying this is what Tommy said

Doc's a nigger he don't like fucking niggers and niggas shit and inter-a-a-a-dress because that's what it sounds like to me you know what I'm saying? Like you know, he didn't put my name with nigger but he no goddamn well

he might as well have put my name in there how are you going to say that and then follow it with the rest so I was telling everybody I don't know how he'd not to his face I heard that this is what I heard that Paul Mouni kept calling

the store for spots and he wasn't getting spots. When was the last time you saw, on Mooney, seven years ago. Right. Six years ago. Right. You were after a year after me.

Right. I heard he was calling up there. No, no, he came like a little bit more after, like, I think I've seen him. Five years, you haven't seen him? Five years. All right. He kept calling for spots or something. They were going to call him back.

You know how somebody gets the call and they go, Tommy, it's Paul Mooney. He wants to know what's going on. That's when Tommy said, tell him we don't do late night nigger shows, or something like that. Holy shit. That's what I had heard. I was going to ask if you thought it might just be he's like hanging around comedians and trying to make jokes, but now he sounds like he's...

This is real. Listen, I like everybody. I give everybody a benefit of the doubt, and he was always very nice to me as a phone guy. Once he got power, he spoke to me out of place a couple times. Right. And it all hit the thing the day he called me. because he thought I was going to put a bug in Joe's ear,

and he was telling me how Carlos keeps going in there and bumping people on Caparulo's funny, and Carlos, and I said, not for nothing. Here's the rule. No matter, even if fucking Benny Hahn is on stage, throwing knives in the end, he's killing, if somebody comes in and they have a show on network, they bump.

Right. They bump. They finish and they bump. That's how it is. He kept arguing with me, go, no, it's not the way they. I said, Tom, I don't know to argue with you. I don't want to fucking argue with you. you about it. And what he was trying

to tell him, he didn't like Carlos, but he didn't know how to get rid of Carlos. He didn't know how to get rid of Carlos. At that point, I don't think him and Joe were tight anymore. Joe had seen his true colors, so Joe wasn't taking his calls no more. Who? Rogan.

What I'm talking about taking who? Tommy. Tommy's. Oh, no, you know what they got him to be, right? Where? What the thing was with Joe and Tommy was, the Joe told me when I talked to him, he said that when him and Carlos got into it, Right. He called in and Tommy told him he was banned.

And so his beef was, he said, he had already called Missy and talked to her one-on-one on the phone. And she just told him, hey, okay, it's fine. Just stay away from college. Y'all stay away from each other. But then he called in and calling his spots. And Tommy's like, nah, you're banned for two weeks. And then so he got mad like, bitch, I talk to Missy. I ain't supposed to be banned.

Why the fuck am I answering to you? So that was his whole thing was like, I shouldn't be answering to this motherfucker. like like it was it was ridiculous and in which he was right how the fuck how the fuck was was Tommy the one to to relay that message to him you know what I'm saying like it that wasn't supposed to be because I guess it was it was handed down from Peter to to Dean and then Dean to Tommy and Tommy he has Tommy's the one that told so his thing was was like if if they had that fucking idiot running it he's like fuck it he he he wasn't gonna come back up there no more and that was the deal because I was trying to like

I wanted them back to come back up there because, you know, the comedy kind of took a turn to where, like, I felt it was only once, like, like this one style of comic. It was going a certain way. And it didn't, it didn't have its,

you know what I'm saying, that spice to it. You know, because it was you. Back in the day it was you, Sergio Love, everybody. All these different, it was so different.

You know what I'm saying? Joe Rogan, Eddie Griffin was still popping in doing a lot of time. He got rid of Eddie, too. He got rid of Yeah, he got him ban, you know, I don't know if he got him banned per se. Eddie, I mean, Eddie's no fucking angel.

But here's the thing, though, Tommy never had the power to ban. That's what people were wrong. You know what I'm saying? Like, the only way he could ban was through permission of Dean or Peter. Now, what did Dean leave? Dean left in 2011, September. Because he wanted to, uh, he wanted to go work in Hawaii with his boy, with some, some company that they started. but then he moved up north and he started doing something up north.

So then he's been up there ever since, you know. So he just, I just feel like Dane kind of was like, everybody was fighting at that time. And Dean kind of was like, man, I'm going to run, to get my right my hands of this shit. You know what I'm saying? So Dean thing. It wasn't comedy anymore.

It became something else. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was like this, it had this bad cloud, like this negative energy, man. It was horrible, man. Like, the brothers was fighting. You know what I'm saying? and then you had Tommy being the way he was so there was no real structure of power

the comics was getting into it there was this he say she say Tommy was gossiping and spreading rumors and lying it was so fucking chaotic like there was no real structure and that's why I was trying to get people to understand like like like bitches who don't who don't

who don't have that kind of discipline they fall in line with somebody like him because they that's all they know is bullshit so like a lot of the people that were full of bullshit kind of rode the way with him. But then the flip side of the two of it is like, like you say, take a caparillo on them. They were about doing their comedy.

You know what I'm saying? So them becoming who they were was mainly because this is the thing that Tommy is feeding these young guys. You know what I'm saying? He had a disrespect for the guys like you guys. You know, like perfect example. This was maybe about a year or so ago. Chris Rock came in, right?

No, you heard the name I just said. Chris Rock asked, asked, first of all, out of respectful, can I do 40 minutes? Tommy say, well, it's 9.30. It's too early. You can wait an hour and go up later after Rick Engel. Or you can do 20 minutes, but you have to wait until Whitney Cummings, until Whitney Cummings go up because these people here for her. So Whitney flipped.

Whitney goes, no, no, no. She goes, no, no, no, Chris, you're supposed to go first. Like you're supposed to go up when you're supposed to go up. She goes, no. And Chris is like, no, I can wait. She goes, no, no, no. You go up. And she said, not only do you go up, you do as much time as you want.

She said, it doesn't matter. You're supposed to like that. So I was like, damn, Whitney real. So then I walk out later on after Chris get up, he leave. Because Chris wound up going up and he wound up doing like 35, 40 anyway. So like, I talked to Rick Ingram. And Rick Ingram was sitting right there. and he said Whitney came and sat down right next to him while Chris was on stage.

And so he said that Whitney turned to him and was like, Tommy better not turn on this goddamn light on Chris. So then Rick said he looked at her and he was like, shit, are you kidding me? He said, not only going to turn on the light, he's going to turn it on in 15 minutes. And he said like right after that, 16 minutes, boom, light comes on. Whitney grabs him like, what the fuck is he doing? Like what is he doing? And I'm like, yeah, he had a disrespect for the game to the utmost. And that type of behavior was taught to these other guys.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know Tony Y'all boy, but Tony, he's on it. Tony's, that motherfucker is on some other shit. You know what I'm saying? Right, no, no. I love Tony. I love Tony. Tony Hick is a dear friend of mine.

I love him to do that. But I know that he was blowing smoke up Tony's ass. Right, right. I do know that. And I had heard that. But he was blowing smoke up everybody's ass? Right, right, right. Because was he not claiming Gerard Carmichle, though, after the racist shit came out?

Right, right. He started claiming Gerard. He started saying that Gerard, he developed Gerard. But it was him that developed Gerard. See, I wasn't there, but I'm telling you what he was telling people. Go talk to them and go ask any of them dudes. When they came to open mic, I was doing the list. Them dudes was getting up because of me.

Not only that, when they were coming in, Eleanor was hosting a lot back then. Eleanor was putting Gerrador. Tommy wouldn't even, he wouldn't even show him no law. You know what I'm saying? Tommy tried to get out of the racist stuff by saying, what are you guys talking about? First, I'm the one that developed Gerard.

I don't just develop. See, that's what. It's not real. I was there. I'm there. Oh, I know. I know. Right after that, Gerard got passed.

Go find out what month Gerard got passed. And I'll tell you right now what month we, I went. It was either the, right, at the end of July or the beginning of August when I went in for the investigation of 2010. So anything after that, if you get asked any of them and who got passed and you see the time that they got past they're higher, then you know. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, I was told about one of the comics. He was like, man. and die. He's like, he pulled me to the side. He's like, man, does anybody, anybody ever come

say thank you to you anything? And I was like, nah, say for what? He said, because they need to, man. He's like, all these dudes is up in here because of you. And he's like, that, they should at least say it something. And only one comic did. He went on Twitter and he said something, but I didn't acknowledge it because it was like, you know, that's not why I did it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I took the bullet and because of that, I lost, man, you're talking about agents, producers. Tommy kept me from everything, everything. Wouldn't give me no spots in La Jolla, nothing. Out of the eight years that I was, nine years that I was there at the store before he got fired,

10 years that I was there at the store, before he got fired. No, no, this would be my 10th year coming up. Or the 11th of it is. Yeah, this would be my 10th year coming up. The nine years I was there, I only had a guy sent down in La Jolla three times. You know what I'm saying? Like, he hated me. But it was cool to me because my thing was like, you can't stop me if I'm going to be good.

You know what I'm saying? and so like it just was so ugly at the club because he had these young guys and he was pushing these young guys and pushing so he was ignoring like all of us he told felicia michael she was too old yeah because he said comedies for 35 and under yeah he told him he heard her he killed her with that statement yeah yeah so that's why i was like you know it became like crazy and then you know you had people like like like all these young guys uh they were getting help like from matt edgar to Tony was hooking up with Jeff Raw, and everybody was getting this help, but it's like, they ain't done shit.

You know what I'm saying? Like, they were getting the treatment like they were doing shit. With Missy, it wasn't like that. It was like, I'm going to help you grow, but it wasn't no putting these people on a pedestal and trying to get them to rock, you know what I'm saying?

So it was like, like, these young kids got these eagles around there. So like, I was constantly like checking people. Because me, man, I don't give a fuck. Who you? Who you with? Where I'm from, you, if you, you could be with the bloods or the crips, you could be with whoever, MMA, niggas, whoever you got, where I'm from,

we don't, we don't, we don't, that don't matter to us, you know what I'm saying? You can get slapped just like the next guy. And if you put my hands on, if you put your hands on me, and if I hit rock bottom in my heart and I feel that way, I'm coming. Then there ain't nothing to do to stop that. So to me, I didn't have, there was no filter. I mean, it should have been at some point, sometimes I got a little bit out of hand,

but my thing was, was like, you can't, you can hide behind whoever you want in Hollywood, but you ain't never safe. And you, y'all need to, y'all need to understand

that it's real out here and that any moment you can get it. Any moment. You know what I'm saying? That's anywhere. You know what I'm saying? Listen, you're preaching to the choir. You knew that I had my proms up there.

I did great up, you know, I went back in August. Right. It's the best thing I've ever done. Leo tell you, It's the best thing I've ever done for my comedy. I needed a joke.

I needed to run with people. I see the change. Right. I feel the love now. But I also know I've also been the guy that you've grown up in my house when my mother, adults would come over. Sometimes adults would want to talk to my mother and my stepdad about something. I was supposed to. One thing I always took pride in that nobody ever had asked me to leave the room.

Right. You know what I'm saying? And that's why I left the store. And I would always get reports of the store because at the end of the week, I'm a Marine. The store are the Marines. The Laugh Factory, yeah, whatever. They're the fucking Peace Corps. The improv, that's the motherfucking Boy Scouts.

The Comedy Store are the Marines. Joey, how can you say this? Richard Pryor. I just saw a picture on the website of Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, and Sam Kenneson, and talking. Okay, those are Marines in my world of comedy. So when Mitzie passed me, I became a fucking Marine. comedy and I lived it that was who I am in my heart and because of that Mitsy Shaw has told how many motherfuckers to go fuck themselves in the career that

that motherfucker told the motherfucker to go fuck himself he jumped off the building the email he said yeah she was like nah she didn't fuck around if she didn't feel it she didn't give a fuck what Hollywood said that's where I come in that's the same school of thought I got past because of Eddie Griffin a lot of people I got past I was ready for the store from the day I got on stage people kept saying to me has Mitzie Shaw seen me you yet. You're her. That's it. I walked in three. She gave me 10. I got off. Start calling for spots tomorrow. I got here January 29th. I was a regular February 15th. Not even a month it took me to become a regular day. And she always gave me six, seven spots a week. And now I go back

to the store. And you see me, bro. I don't even go into the bar area. Sometimes I go with Lee and I get him his favorite Diet Coke with, what is it? Makers and Coke. Makers and Coke. But besides, I don't I don't even go back to, I don't mingle, I don't go there and hang out. I do my spot, you know why? Because I'm 52. Right. Comedy is for 35 year olds. If you follow me in my heart, I've always known this.

But I go down there, drop some fucking love, and I get the fuck out of there, like a bullet in the fucking night. Because I know I don't belong that no more. And I know when I was young and I go, and I'd see old guys there, go, what the fuck of these creepy motherfuckers doing here at night? Waiting for a handout and shit. He gives me, if I call in for six spots, he gives me two. And you know what?

one? I'm very satisfied. I am so satisfied, Doc. Because Mitchie gave me, what am I going to do? Call back and say, Adam. You didn't give me six spots? Are he fucking crazy? I'm an old man. All I need is two. I don't need six fucking spots there all week. I know where I am when I'm there.

I show the utmost respect. That's my motherfucking house. That's my motherfucking comedy house. I don't give a fuck about any comedy club in the country. That's my house. Everybody's always known that. So now that I'm back there, I see the day. difference, but I heard it was horrible.

He was putting people against people. He was putting comics against comics. He thought he was doing what Mitzie was doing. Like, if Mitzie finds out that Dr. Me had an argument, she'll make Doc follow me for a month. Yeah. That's what Mitz will do. She'll make me hand the mic to him for a month.

Make me learn again. But, you know, he was doing it stupidly, like a fucking redneck that he was, a dumb fucking redneck that he was. Because that's all he was. At the end of the fucking week, that's why I couldn't listen to him anymore. He was trying to tell me my business.

I've been on Greyhound buses. I've done comedy in Buffalo, Iowa. I've done comedy in all these rooms where they look at me in the Bible Belt, where I'm hated. You know, I'm hated in the Bible Belt, they just throw holy water at me and shit. And you're going to come tell me my job. That's not going to happen. Come talk to me about my job, and we'll find an even ground. Right.

But I would never go to a plum and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you put some Teflon on that motherfucker? And use copper. That's not my mom. game. That's something somebody told me at the farmer's market and I'm repeating like a fucking jerk off. No, I would never tell some, I would talk to them about

that game and learn some and offer a suggestion they go, no, okay, I always thought that would work. You know what I'm saying? Doc, I think I know Joey's answer, but who were worse people to be around? Comedians? No, no. Comedians or like people who were in gangs and criminals? Like,

which would you rather spend your time with? I would rather, it depends. It depends. I would rather be around comics. You know why you want to be around gangs of criminals. Well, like, not... We're talking about from a loyalty standard, from waking up in the morning. Knowing that if you called me at 3 in the morning,

I pick you up in the fucking car. Right. I know where I stand when I'm... When it comes to the gangs, though, that's a friendship that... That friendship would kind of fuck you up as a person. Because you have people that are willing to die for you. And people that...

I've had people do stuff to people, and I didn't even tell them to do it. They just heard something happen to me, and then they took it upon themselves and went and did it. You know what I'm saying? And I get the phone call, and I'm like, man, you shouldn't have done that, man. You know, I didn't tell you to do it. Fuck it, dog. You're my dog.

That's exactly what they told me. That's the school of thought I'm from. That's how I grew up. You basically had a gang, but not like not a gang. And that's why I have a hard time with society after I left New Jersey. Because I was raised different. I was raised in a society where if I got up and went somewhere and some motherfucker sat there,

Oh, that's my dog's chair, dog. Get up, and that's his lady. Don't say two words. I'll bash your fucking skull with this bottle. They had your back. So when you've had that treatment before, and then you don't have it, and then you start running with people that you know.

I told the $30,000 after store, when not I did some blow down there with some cats. Right. I bought 520s off a chewy. 620s for 100 he'd give you. And the people that were supposed to come get it never came. So it's 1 in the morning. I got six fucking packages.

So somebody asked me, man, I'm tired. Can I get a bump? I gave him a bump. And I go, hey, take the rest of the package. A week later, he goes to a meeting. One of my boys in the meeting, they go, who do you want for this role? They say, Joey Diaz, that dude said, that Coke Feen?

I just gave you a package of Coke. So that sell out? Still, to this day, 10 years later, nothing bothers me more than the Joe Rogan thing. Nothing. That's why I stayed out of the store, just to show him that I had them. Nothing bothered me more that Friday night when I heard that they were all going to pick at the store.

And then Mitzy called him and said, whoever pickets gets no more spots, and that one guy showed up. After that, I had no business at the store. It took me seven years to get over that feeling. It took me seven years to... I was hurt. I was hurt for him.

But then after a while, I had to go take care of what I had to take care of. Those guys, a lot of those people are gone today. Some of them are still around. 60% of them are still around. But now I know what the store is about. Right. and I appreciate that you're there.

You know, I appreciate the little things. I was telling Ari on his podcast, Arsafir, and I was telling him, I said, what kept me there at the store was two things. One was I had to, because if I didn't, things wouldn't have got done the way they needed to be done. And then the second thing was, it was like,

I said, man, there's nothing. That's why I always worked a lot. I said, people don't get it. I'm the first dude that greet y'all. I'm the first dude to see your face at the club. I'm the first dude. And I said, for me, that exchange, that emotional exchange is priceless. To see when you first popped in Uncle Joe, man, shit.

Man, I'm telling me, boy, when you came back, I said, man, I'm telling you, I was already to cry. That's how happy I was. I was really to when I saw you. This is my nigga right here. This dude is real peeps. He's always been, you've reached out to me more than I've ever reached out to you. That's how real you are. You would always be like, Doc, you ain't called me.

your motherfucker card. I'm just like, like, Joe, I'll be fucking up. I'm sorry, dog. You young guys were my life because I know that you young guys are going to take care of me if I take care of you.

Yeah, yeah, man. Nobody remembers nothing more. Like Stevens, Allison, Stevens, he doesn't go to the store. They threw him out of there too. But he was a producer on Arles. He came to the store one night. He hired me.

I called him for Christmas. I call him for all the Jew holidays. You know what? Alan Stevens, because he gave me that job. He gave me one of the biggest breaks in my life. Do they go anywhere? No. But I learned to do two lines opposite James Cooper.

That's what he gave me. I can't forget that. Right. So when I talk to one of these young guys and I talk to that, that's what helps my game. That helps my game. I take a guy that's been doing comedy six years and I grab him by the arm and I go that bit you did bapada-papa da-papa-a-pa. He's going to go home.

His head's going to explain. Right, right. You know, and I try to do that. I try to give the young guys love because say what you want. I got a lot of love. And a lot of people who hated me that didn't like that I was dirty or I tried to follow him, either a pussy joke. But there was motherfuckers that were,

hey, come here, dude. I really dig what you're doing. I like the heart. And I judge people on heart. That's one of my weaknesses. I don't judge people on your car or your money or anything else. I judge motherfuckers on a hard jack.

That's the cold, hard truth. Now, back to Detroit, not to throw you off the store. Okay. Before you came out here, you were still gangbanging? No, no, no, no. I stopped dangling when I was like about 17. My mom's, she made me move with, like, I got locked up in juvenile, and I, you know, I failed school, so I was like, fucking, the streets is all I knew.

And when she found out that I was still selling drugs, she made me move with my art. And then she told me that I could make it, and that if I just try, she would do whatever she can. to help me succeed. And then she started crying. You know what I'm saying? And my mom's don't cry.

So when she started crying as a teenage boy, and that's your mama, I'm my only son. I was just like, I didn't really want to do it because I didn't believe in myself, but her love was enough for me to go, all right, I'll try. And she was right, man.

I wound up graduating that next year, went to school, that summer went to summer school, and that next year it took like a one to seven, one to eight, took a bunch of classes. Boom, graduated on time. It was crazy.

It was rough, but she was right. So, like, because of that, I just stayed out of the mix. And then when I graduated from school, I was still slang in dodo. She didn't know. You know what I said? Because the guys that, when she sent me to go to school, I was going to elementary and part of my middle school with these guys. And my mom took me from over there because I was acting up over there

to bring me over there with her. But then I got caught up with the drug getting guys over there. So when she sent me back over here, these guys, now a lot of them with kingpins and slang it, you know what I'm saying? So like, okay, I just started having guys selling dope for me. But I never forget it, man. She called me after I graduated from school, and it was after my father passed away.

High school. Yeah, when I graduated from high school. So you went back to high school after you quit? Yeah, because my mom was like, that was the, I mean, I went immediately. Like, it was that summer. She made me move with my aunt. Then I went to school right, right. to school, like it was immediately,

like everything was quick. And I went like the moment she made me move with her, I started right in summer school, right into regular, then regular semester came. Then I went to school and I graduate. Then when I graduated, about two months later,

my father killed himself, right? And then, like I, my mom's called me like two weeks after, after, like a week after his funeral. And she said, I know this is a hard time in your life. And she said, but all I'm going to do is just, I'm going to tell you where I am with you.

She said, you're 17 now. You're about to be 18. And she said, now you made it through school. I told you you can do it and you can do anything you want to do. She said, so I can't tell you what to do anymore because you're a grown man and that's how I'm going to leave it. She said, but I am going to tell you this. She said, a man does either two things. He either works honestly and takes care of himself or he goes to school.

or he goes to school gets out and works honestly and takes care of himself. She said, but either way, a real man works honestly. So I want you to think about that. She said, if you want to go back to college, that's what I want you to do.

If you're not back to college, you want to start college, I'll help you. Just try. Just let me know what you want to do. And I hung up the phone, and it made sense. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I don't know, it just was like, so I thought, and I said, you know what? Next day, I thought about it some more, and I caught all the young cats and all the dudes that owe me dope and money. I called them up. I go, hey, y'all. You know, keep the dope.

Keep the money. That's like, no, man, what is you doing, man? No, man, I'm going to pay you back. And I'm not. I don't even pay me back. And I said, man, if you can, try to get out yourself. I said, I'm done. And I said, use that money for whatever, man.

I don't know. I said, but I would say if I was you, I would just drop it, man. I'm trying to make my life better. So I went to college. And then I stayed on the right path. I got kicked out of college because for shooting, you know

shooting at some dudes on campus but anyway, it's just like I still with me Eastern Michigan University. No shit. Yeah, man, that's a big deal, man. I was like, my bill was half a million. It was gross.

Yeah, man, I had no 10% it was awful. Man, I'm telling you, man. Like I still and that's why I love, this is the third, you know what, there's a third thing about the comedy store. This is the greatest thing about

working at the comedy store too is doing that whole process I had to like mentally like wipe myself clean mentally because I went through like a depression and all this other stuff so when I came out here and I discovered I really wanted to try to do comedy

and I started working at the store because Dean wound up making me work at the store like I didn't even want to work there but he kind of set it up and then like he set me up twice to work there and he didn't pay me and I was like man no I said you I said you aren't going to be having me work here and then you're not going to pay you

me he was like that's what we're trying to do we're trying to get you to work here for the longest welcome to the club and I'm like okay cool you know I wasn't like cool I was a little sad at first and I had to call my mom's like I didn't want to work there and she's like nah you she's like just try you know you never know and shit ever since I've been there but you and edwards is like one of my main friends because it's so funny I'll get mad or I'll say something and then he'll be like doc that's street shit you can't handle it like that that's not He'd be like, you're talking. Yeah, he said, you talk in the street shit.

He said, don't. He said, that's not the way that you got to. And so he helps me, and it's a lot of other people, they help me. And it's not like I'm like this. Like Billy, the kid and those shit like that. But it's just like, like I say, Hollywood is filled a lot of fake people. And it's got some real people sprinkled in there. You know what I'm saying?

It ain't full of all bad people. No, it's not. Right. And so by me being there, it helped me to a point, especially the story and like you said you know you come through Lee and it's dealing with those attitudes and those personalities and then dealing with Tommy and then I had let Tommy affect me to where I was like extra mean to these guys Tony and them and they didn't know no better they these young dudes they younger than me but I was so mad at the racism and all this stuff and then these

young guys with these attitudes that I started being a little bit too ugly you know what I mean so like I feel like the store that was one, that was a chapter of my life that had to be written. You know what I'm saying? Like, I had to. I had to learn that, that, that, to, that my way ain't always the right way. And, and you got to learn how to love people. And sometimes you got to love people, even when they ain't good. Because it's the only way, that's the only way you're going to make things better. If you got two people that just constantly warn, but, you know, what do you have? And what do you have if you're just loving the same person as loving? You know what I'm

saying so i've been trying to learn how to just not not try to learn but just loving people despite you know what i'm saying because even tommy i pour Tommy to the side joe one-on-one and if i'm lying go ask him you know what I'm saying I put him in the main room and I told him I said listen I see all this I said for these past few years you're going around and you've been telling everybody how much you hate and I said you know that's pretty fucked up I said because you can go ask any comment all this shit you didn't done and all this shit you didn't say it about me, I ain't ever told one of them I hate you.

And you can go right now, go ask any comments. Any comics that know that, yeah, I talk shit about him all the time because he was wrong. You know what I'm saying? They didn't want to hear it because I was spitting the truth at him.

But that was fine with me. I would take the bullet. You know what I said? And then when I said that to him, he just put his head down and I just walked out. But I had to tell him. Because my thing was,

it was like, it was times, even after that, when he was hungry, I gave him cookies and some of my food, man, like, hey, dog, hey, no, you hungry, eat. You know, we all got to eat, you know what I'm saying? Like, eat.

Like, okay, you got your shit, you got your issues, but if you're hungry, I'm gonna feed you, you know what I'm saying? I ain't got time to be sitting up here casting you down, and what good, what a good am I? You know what I mean? So, like, I try to be the best I could be, and, you know, I slip, and I have issues that I still work on, but, you know, fuck it.

Let me ask you a question. What's that? Has the store been a journey for you? Man, tremendous. A tremendous journey. I'm going to tell you something right now in front of Lee and you. When I die, I want you guys to fucking go smoke a joint. I mean, the store, I can't tell you what the store has been for me.

When people say to me, well, you turned your life around. No, the store turned my life around. Rogan once said that when this is all all. set and dumb we're gonna find out that the store was like a beam of light from like Mars or something where the store is like if that was a shoe store or a restaurant it would have had the same effect on you the store I'm complete my set at the store is completely different than my set anywhere else in the country do you know why because I have more confidence at the comedy store in the

original room than any other room in the country that is my room I've done from 97 to 2005 at hundreds of sets in all different situations when they were drinking, they weren't drinking, and you find out about yourself when you're on that stage. That is where my guts came out

because that is where I realized following Paul Mooney and dying that if I sit here at 9 o'clock, by 1130, if the people are still here since 9 o'clock, they've already heard every joke. They've heard every genre, every topical joke, every, what's topical this week? I don't know. The Oscars.

The Oscars. If the six jokes, comics would have been on four of them, would have talked about the Oscars. Right, right. So when you go up at midnight, I figured this out one day. I'm like, coked out delusioned mind. They don't want to hear nothing. And I would go up there following one, there'd be eight people. If you think they're going to wait for the P-Joke or for the setup, they're not going to wait for it.

So you just got to go out there and improvise. That's why he plays the piano on music. go on stage because he knew I could just fucking run with it. But while I was doing all that stupid improvising and dancing and taking my balls out and fucking around, I found out Joey

Diaz's voice. I found out who the fuck I was. Yeah, that was called to my baby and I go, if it wasn't for the company store, I wouldn't have this baby. I met Terry at the fucking store. She was a waitress at the store, my wife.

Are you fucking crazy? This baby? This baby. This baby is from the comedy store. So the comedy store has been in my life right now for 18 fucking years. I'm 52. Right. So that's a third of my life.

It seems kind of like a high school. I was thinking about it earlier when you talk about the laugh factor and the improv. It's typical work there. But like you guys, it's like high school or summer camp. It's like you guys have friends and stories from previous years. I still talk to the first talent coordinator at the comedy store, man by the name of Scott Day.

Right. That was brought in there by Louis. Anderson's buddy from Minneapolis and he loved comedy he was the only talent coordinator that would sit there with you till two and watch the shows you'd fucking be scared to go up in front of Mitzie

but you'd be scared more scared to go up in front of him but he would help you he would talk to you he would laugh he would hang out with managers at night you know and then he was replaced by Danny Kelly Danny Kelly was the one that it went right to his head that's the motherfucker

that they would call up and say hi we'll come to see doc tonight from uh we're from paramount we'd like to come see doc is there a 930 spot yes there is right and he would put himself up at 930 so they would see him then they'd follow him to see you mitsie found not fired him princess quarry came along right she was good princess quarry was fun and after princess corey it was duncan right then duncan quit because of the reality show right and then tommy came along and i knew by the time tommy was in there a year in He would call me and just tell me about all his ego and all his conquest, not in love, but all his conquests at the store.

I think that this guy's going to be the next big thing and all this. And I would just sit there and go, you've been here for two years. Who are you to even say this kind of statements? You know? He was being dishonest with himself. Yeah, no, he was. So I'm really happy that he, they called me when he left. I'm really happy that I'm there twice a week if I can just to see the young guys and go up

And I just lose my mind. I get right back in the car and I fucking leave. I've been blessed, man. It's just been great to have you guys back because I felt like, like, the other guys, they're not even near ready, you know. And they don't have, they don't have that facade, that power that you all have yet, meaning like they're only, they have a glimpse of,

of what you guys have already become. So, like, I feel like when you guys got taken away, way, they didn't have nothing else to feed off of. So these guys kind of molded into these things that they never got a really chance to become handbangers. And because of that, it weakened the store. So, like, you found Adam Hapton's, like, scramble and gather y'all. Like, we needed Joe Doodias back.

We need to Joe Rogan's back. We need the Al Madrigals because that was needed. You needed that power there so that people, can look up and go, oh, this is what comedy is. Okay. Because he had so many young guys up there and they were so, yeah, it was the same material, same type of stuff and there was really no real

power in what they do. Like, like, that's the thing, like, with Missy's Club that I learned. Like, the reason we feel the way about the club is just because man, she really loved us. Because she loved

the game of comedy. She loved comedy. She was, married to a comedian. She had raised a son that became a star comedian. She was the truth. Like, when it comes to comedy, that woman was the truth. I don't know about the other arms, but with her, employees all day, every day. And when I, I remember when I first came, she was like, fire him. He's horrible. They was like, well, you know, I'm going to get rid of you. She do that all the time. I'm just like, shoot. And then she went from that to Tommy even told me. She said, he said that. She said, once in the last time she saw me, she said, I see why he's here. He's very true.

that's when he ain't know nothing. He was like, I don't know what that means, Doug. Maybe that means, maybe you should start, you know, doing more truthful stuff. I said, I've been doing it. I know exactly what she's talking about, so I'll keep doing what I'm doing. And, like, unfortunately for me, that's when she tapered off, and I never really, she never really got to see me again because Tommy wouldn't,

he hated me. He would never put me up when she would come around, you know what I'm saying? So I was, the only time I could see mom is when, when Pauly would, when she would come up there with, with Alfred, her driver, her caretaker, or Pauley would take me over there to their house to go do something with him and then he'll be like,

go say how to mom or whatever, you know. But that love, though, that she established in that place, that's something that that you can't duplicate. The realness in that, like she had, the kind of love she had is the same type of love that we have as comedians

to do comedy. And that's raw. That's rare. And because she loved it that much, She had every level, dude. Employees on the doors, non-paid regulars, who wasn't good enough yet to be moved into as a paid regular. So she had three levels, and you can see the level.

It was like, what? Most clubs just got their star bankers. But in her club, you could see any given night you can go and see these different levels of comics. And she cultivated them and they became these awesome, like, like, it's so, it was such a great process. That's it, man. you can't touch it you you that that discipline that that ability to sit there and watch comic after comic go up in the belly room see what the comic doing come back down put them in the showcase see how they doing moving back to the non-paid regulars put them up okay you you're good enough you think

you're that good you go behind joe ds tell him trippily you got to follow joy dyes tonight or or you got to go behind this guy you got she had that mental she knew that game and then at the same time she would slam you but then at the same time she would show love okay Let me show him that I'm cool, that it's okay. And that was the beauty of her, the art form of what she did to me. Like, people got what they're going to say about her. She had her flaws, but everybody got flaws. You know what I'm saying?

But when it comes to this shit, shit, man. Hands down to me, that love is there forever. And I will always have a love for her. I feel it when I go down there. Come on, man. Listen, man, I had nothing. You know, I'm a criminal. And I became a comic.

Right. I had good people around me, but listen, at the end of the day, I don't know none about the longest yard, and the narrow movies or TV shows or Maren. I know one thing that she looked at me and made me a regular. And that, to me, that means everything in the world. There was no tape. I was there.

She came. I went in there twice, showcased for her, kicked ass, and she made me a regular. And you can't take that from me anytime ever. That beats everything. That beats evening at the improv. That beats HBO because she's passed more fucking great comics than HBO has had specials.

Right. So let me give some shoutouts and we'll continue with this. All right. I put my fucking glasses on. Big J. Hill, I love you, Cocksucker. Benny the Baker down Australia, stay black. Tommy Teranova. Who's better than you?

Thank you very much for the gift card. My wife took it. Rock Maastrangelo. You know, I love you. Justin Evans. The Stoic Network, Alberto Jimenez, and Dead Squad M. UFC. You bad motherfuckers. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Lee, another star or what? I already ate four these fucking things. I'm about to see how Diablo red. Do it. Does it got you floating? Oh, God. Look at your eyes, red as well. How old when you started, Gangbanger?

I would say about 13, 14. But you were exposed to it since you were nine. Yeah, like I was, well, the thing was was my mom made me move. My mom moved over there, like, when I was in elementary. Yeah. This is where in Detroit. This is where in Detroit. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. You're in Detroit, Detroit, Detroit. Yeah, this is Detroit. This is, that's downtown. Yeah, yeah. But I lived on the southwest side, not the southwest side of Detroit for a while. Then I was on the east side of Detroit. So, like, I don't know.

You're familiar with streets over there in the D? Well, you know if you've seen the movie Eight Mile, right? That's the last street I left off of. Basically, where Eight Mile is, where people don't know, eight miles separates the whites from the blacks. When you cross over eight mile and you go further out, it gets wider and wider and wider. I was going to ask you that as a joke.

I was going to ask you if you lived on eight mile. Back in when I was, like now, there's more black people who live on the suburban cities on the other side of eight mile now. Oak Park, Southfield, Warren. There are a few sprinkled off. and worn and stuff like that but when you were back in that day when i was coming up like we used to have to go to the dollar show store uh dollar show over in the white neighborhood you know what i'm

saying so it's on the other side of eight mile or nine mile so like uh me and my boy we went i was probably about 10 years old we're going no we about 11 we go into the dollar store i mean we're going to the dollar show because we skip school you know that's how we do it so we go and we come back and we're close to eight mile and these guys they drive up onto the curb on the sidewalk and starts chasing us in the car these white guys and they start throwing bottles at us and they're like you know on the other side of eight mile you niggers and this and that and like I grew like I was kind of poor as a kid so like I was scared and I was upset about that but then I also was kind of like upset because they wasted all them bottles you know what I'm saying like they could just rolled up to me

gave me them bag of bottles and said, you nigger, and then pulled it off. And I was like, fuck you, I'm going to go get some penny candy you know, I'm saying with these bottles. But it was just like, I was like mad as a kid and I ain't understand that. And at that time, as a 10 or 11 year, you don't even really know what the word nigga was.

So I didn't even know. I just remember them yelling it, kept yelling it as they was chasing us in the car. You know what I'm saying? So that's how bad it was. But now it's changed a little bit on the outskirts, but the more out you go, the more white it gets. It gets real.

It's like, you rarely. Was it Crips and Bloods there? Was it Crips and Bloods? No, Crips and Bloods. They tried to start for a minute, but then, you know, because Detroit's, the streets, you ever watch Gangland with the Best Friends? Well, have you ever watched that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a show on Spike. No, National Geographic. It was on history channel. On History. Yeah. So you could actually watch it on YouTube if you type in, or watching on Netflix, look up the Best Friends episode. The Best Friends was when you see them,

that's the core of what most guys are in the United. trick. Except the only difference is with the best friends, they were just all hit me. So it's eight dudes. They started off. I heard about them. Yeah, they was voted like, from what I heard. I didn't have to see it, but I heard they were voted the number one, the most notorious out of all the

the mafia, out of everybody, the Mexican everybody. Because they had this thing, man. Like, when I was in the game, they were, my gang pulled me, one of the guys in my gang, rest of the piece. But he said, listen, if you ever hear these guys,

over in this area. He said, they're not over here just to be messing around. They're over here to kill one of us. So I'm almost, you know, if you ever see, you hear, say you kill these guys. And I was like, wow, really? And they were like, yeah, man,

they said, these dudes is, and then I'm like, 13 years old. You know what I'm saying? They're telling me, I'm like, but these guys had a reputation because they just murdered in cold blood. Like, they thing was, they had this thing called Rock You to Sleep.

And what it was was they would follow you around for two, three years after they got into it. with you and they would let you live your life so you can get married have a kid or whatever then they'll call a hit they'll go okay now it's time and then boom just like who does that who follows somebody around for two three years and then takes them out i can see joey doing it right like like it was counter it was it was it was it was it was it was it's different like like the gangs in detroit now they like this little bitch shit but back then it was just getting money so like we ran this area, right?

At least most of the guys in my game. Some guys was like bitches trying to be part of the gang because they just, bitches need help. I got into the gang because I just needed some money. And I needed some money, and crack was the way for me. So I never really wanted to be part of the game, but what happened was other gangs start running up on me because they would see me with them.

Now, the flip side to it is my great grandmother stayed across the bridge on the other side, and I would have to go over there, So I kind of grew up with the gangs over there too. So I had kind of a piece with them, but all of them was worn against each other. So it was like, they were like, we cool, man, long as, you know, we know you with them and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, but really, I just was a drug, though. You know what I said?

So you sold crack. That sold crack. Now, did you ever process it? Did you go into a kitchen and cook it up? Yeah. In the microwave. That's how you do it in a microwave? Yeah, because I wasn't moving weight then at that point.

I ain't have a key. So, like, you know, you get like a, a. A ball of powder or a half an ounce of powder. Could you do the whole A ball at one time? Yeah. I would always do like a gram of the time. That's why you wouldn't lose no temps. Right.

That's why you're doing it like that. No, from my own head. Oh, for your own. So I would take good blow or shit that I would take like Coke that tasted bad. Like they made a mistake with it. Oh, yeah. In the late 80s. No, in the late 80s, the tough thing wasn't getting Coke out of Columbia.

It was getting the cleaner in. Right, right. They ran out of. They were stepping on it all the way to from there, all the way up north of north. No, no, they ran out of ether alcohol. Yeah. So they started using like bleachers and shit, so you do the Coke. Yeah.

And it tasted weird. So what they figured out was take those mistakes. But it would, when you put in the microwave, it would burn the impurities with the baking soda. And then when you're smoking, it still tastes like Coke. You don't taste the ammonia or the catpice. Right. They had all these flavors that were horrific. I got stuck with, like, I don't know, a lot of cat piss.

Fuck. And I would cut it, and it was still cat pissy, but it was tremendous. It was stronger than debt. It was just fucking, it gave you a headache after fucking three or four lines. You couldn't tolerate it no more. I'll tell you, at four in the morning, anybody snorted. Our blow up was benzoporoxy. So how do you do with benzoporoxy?

Put it in with you. The same thing, same process. You put it in with the, you mix it with the width. the cocaine and they come kind of paste seed. Then when you add a little bit of bacon soda to it, to give it to dry it up a little bit. And then once you, once you're having it in the water and you heat it up, it starts,

you know, it turns into that gel. And then you take it out, then you run a little bit of cold tap water in there. You know, you shift it a little bit. And then that's how you collect all your tents. Yeah, they're hard enough. You know what I'm saying? So that's basically it.

So that helped you blow your dope up. So, like, a lot of guys was doing that. But I never, I never fuck with no cut. All my shit was always pure. because my thing was, it's like, if it's good, they're going to come back. Exactly. Why are you cutting it for?

I'm the same way. I'd even knock $5. It got to a point. 45, so I get constant. I got to a point, Joe, where they were having so much bad shit that I had to buy their dope off of them. A lot of them I had to buy their dope off of them

because they would take that bad shit. And I was like, nah, if I got some bad shit from the guy who was front of me, I automatically let them know. Hey, nah, this is some bad shit. And he would go back to whoever the dealer was, pull out his heat and like, you're going to either give me my money back

or you're going to be, you goast. You know what I'm saying? So like, we, because of that, man, my corner was cracking. Man, we had a couple little spots here and there, but it was cracking, man. All of us on the corner, it was like, I'm going to say 10 or 15 dudes on just this one corner.

You know what I'm saying? We would take turns with the cars. That's how many heads and fiends. It just was insane. The money just was crazy. First and the 15th. Come on, man. You couldn't wait.

Like, man, I made sure you re-up on the first and the first. Man, make sure you ready. Because those were your money-making days. Like that whole week, everybody's coming. Spending. Then, like, what I used to do, too, was I used to hit, like, I would tell things this. I would get like, look, you come back for every 10 customers. I'll throw you one or two.

They're like, really? Like, yeah. So you bring me a new customer. I'll throw you, I throw you two. And they go, get out of here. So when they was coming from,

where we're bringing people, and it just was growing. So like, like, you would think I would lose, but actually what I was doing, all I would do was just take a dime and break it in half and then give them one.

So really, he just got a dime. You know what I'm saying? But he didn't care. You just got something to smoke. You know what I'm saying? Free is free. And people remember that shit. When you're on the street

and you help somebody out with a fucking eye or all. They love, that shit. I never was part of a crew that sold drugs in the street. I sold drugs to people I knew. In 85, I would go to Harlem and watch this Cuban crew sell weed on the street, like Cuban refugees, those dark-skinned motherfuckers that came from Mario Harbor.

And they were like you. They had 15 to 20 dealers on the street from the top of the hill all the way down. They took turns. You got... 25 nickel bags and you had to give the guy $100. That's what the street dealers were getting. So for every 25 nickel bags you sold,

you kept $25. These guys had no way to work. They'd be out there all day slinging nickel bags a fucking reef a leak. Can you imagine? And the cops are going to arrest you every 30 days. You get away with it for 28, 29 days. And you know how to read the street

to have different spots. Well, do they mess with you? Because I told the story the other day. My girlfriend lived in Inglewood. And on the corner, they had turned over to 99-cent store shopping cart. And there were always like six or seven guys just right there. Yeah. And Paul said the cops never came.

They used to help her mom with the groceries. Because after a while, it's kind of like, now, you have to remember, too. Like, people, all the cops ain't good. Right. So a lot of them is kind of with you. You know what I'm saying? And some of them is taking a dope and money. from you. So look, if I'm on a corner, right, first, you've got a stash spot. That's number one.

So if I'm just standing on the corner, what's the most they can do? They can just either give me a ticket for loitering or tell me to get off the corner. So I don't have to be posted on the corner. I can go sit in front of somebody's driveway and sit on their, on their curb and just wait for the people. So what are they going to tell me to get off the curb? You can't tell me to move, you know what I'm saying? So like, there's no way really to, and if you really think about it. The amount of people that are selling drugs, this is a problem with the communities. There's so many people selling drugs, they outnumber

the cops. They can't be everywhere all at once. You know what I'm saying? They just patrol and they just wait to hopefully they see something. You know what I'm saying? So they're doing their job, but people don't think they're not there. They're there, but they just and now you include the bad cops who's also helping. That makes

it even weaker. So like the community is just filled with helplessness because the power or the authority ain't there. So people say that, but I do know for a fact, just me being a street cat and being out there. Like, there are a lot of cops that's trying out there. They do. But the other guys make it harder for them.

Paul, she lived in the same building for her entire life. And she said the cops just gave up. Like before, like, I wanted her to move up here and they finally did it. I'm like right before and right after. It's right next to Englewood High School. There were two drive-by shootings and one drive-by and one guy just came up to a dude sitting in a car and shot him in there. head. And like the, they were out there yelling at the cops. Right. Because it's, they don't, they don't go by there. There's a dude in Inglewood,

a really, like a, like a 500-pound black dude who rides a motorcycle in a fake cop uniform. Right. Just to see, I don't know what he's trying to do, but they don't have, apparently, according to her, they don't do anything down there. Or maybe they're working on the wrong. They do stuff, but it's just. They run raids on particular areas, vice-coms. They do it, but they don't have the resources to get you off the street. I had a friend that was a Crip. He told me the story one time. He was here in L.A.

And in 1980s, I met him in 87, 88, I'm sorry. And he was telling me in the crack epidemic, this kid had nine cars. This young, handsome black kid I was friends with. I can't find them on Facebook. I found the son. And the son really didn't want to talk to me because I'm a white dude, I guess.

fucking, he said he was making at the end of the day after paying his dealers and everybody on the street. From 85 to 87, he was making $3,000 per dealer on the street. He would take himself $3,000 per dealer. $3,000. So if he had Doc on the street, at the end of the day, he cleared $3,000 per head.

Yeah. And he had 12, $12, $15. He had three on this street. So what the Crips did, was, listen, instead of fighting for the fucking corner, put three your players on one's corner, put three on the other corner. Let's just go to work.

And everybody's happy. We don't have to fight. We take turns. Who's next? You're next, Lee. And that's what they did. But he said he had, you know, ten guys out there at one time.

That's $3,000 a day. He had eight cars. He had like six different women that came to visit them in that prison. And they all bring them food, but they bring them another. butters. He had him on checkdown and bring him nutter butters.

So on Sunday nights, me and that motherfucker ate nutter butters like a motherfucker. I loved him with all my heart guys. I loved this gentleman with all my heart. I thought, like, I was badass. Like, oh, I sold a couple ounces. He was like, listen, let me show you what I got.

And I could tell when other guys would come in, as young as he was, and the older guys would show him respect. Oh, you're oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Come here. We know the same people. And I know for a fact, because I used to take visitations with him.

He also did a job that we got weekly visitations. See, everybody gets Saturday and Sunday visitation. I took a stock clerk job because I get Monday and Tuesday visitation. So now instead of being in a room with a coffee table, to try to feel my wife's tits and finger, I could do it wide open. I just tell her, bring a dress with no panties on and sit on top of me, and I'll bang you right there while we're fucking eating pizza.

Right, right. So he had him. All week. And he had it. He told me, I have him on check. They're only not to see me once a month, but I get two visits per week. Sometimes he'd get two on one day. And they bring him food.

Oh, my God, he's the first person that ever turned me on the church's chicken. The spicy, God damn. I mean, it was just, you know. So I get it. I get that. When I was in San Francisco in 85, those Cubans also had something going on the street. And their English was terrible, and I would help him. And there was one Cuban that went until this day

I know if he would say Marijuana for Sali Because I go, what's Sali? Sali, you know, sale. He didn't know what the fuck Sali was So he'd say sales or shit. It was a real trip talking to you today, Doc. I thought this was going to be about something else And we ended up talking about something else

I wanted to get Yon for a while And I kept forgetting I'd go down there I wanted some flavor on the show And I know you bring it Because we are from the same cut only from a different, you respect character and you want people to treat your respect because you treat people with all the respect and love in the world.

So when somebody steps outside that boundary, it hurts your internal, like it hurts you. It hurts you inside. I want to cry. I want to cry with what happened today. I know that guy 15 fucking years. How can you do something like that? You're fucking up my world.

You're supposed to call yourself, my friend. Right. So I get the anger. You know, you get the angers. With some people, you don't get it. With you, I get it because, I get upset every fucking day. Because they do shit that's, where's your character?

Where's your heart at? You're really going to do something like this? I just have a lot to learn myself. So I try not to just keep myself and check as much as possible. And when other people check me, it's embarrassing. And it hurts. But I know that they're coming from a true place. And if it's the truth, then I need to hear it.

And I have to say. I'm in. I'm in. Just don't yell at the crossroom in front of 20 people. Pull me to the side. And go, hey, man, you've been slipping. This is what's going on. Either get it together or give it up.

And you go home and you go, fuck that motherfucker. But then after a few days, you go, you know what? He's right. And maybe that talk is the best talk of your fucking life sometimes. I see it. I see it all the fucking time. Yeah, I just, you know. I just.

You said, Doug, you said earlier, like at some point at the comedy store, that you realized you were messing up and you needed to change your ways. Yeah. Yeah, because... But I think what happens to people like Tommy is they don't ever realize that. Like, I was thinking about it last night. Every six months or so, I find myself

not working as hard, or I could be doing a little bit different. Like, every six months, I get a little bit stagnant. I get comfortable with what I'm doing. And I feel like people like Tommy, they never realized it or they don't choose to change it. Well, you know what the problem is, is like, this is my philosophy.

Like, age one, through like 17, you basically... An idiot. People are living for you. They're taking care of you. Most, everybody has to, they have to be taken care of by somebody because they're kids. So you're, during that time, you're learning what life is as a child and as a teenager. Then after that, when you become 18, 19, 20, you start learning to be an adult and start learning to think more on your own.

And then you start coming to who you are once after like, you. age 27, 28. By the time you're like 29, 30, you know who you are. So the problem is, is after that point, it's hard to learn and change back into anything because now you're this person. It's like a computer with a virus. You know what I'm saying? If a computer got a virus for too long, that's why you have to catch it right away. But if it got into for too long, it'll be stuck like that and you have to get a whole new computer. And unfortunately for people like Tommy, he's stuck in the virus. And for him to make a change, it'll it's going to take a long time to reprogram yourself.

So that's why, like I said, when I got to the store, that's what the store had been doing for me. And just other things too. But I've been going through a whole, like, re-changing. And I've gotten better. My mom said I've gotten better. She's like, you're a whole lot better than what you used to be. And I'm thankful for it, man, you know.

But, like, people like Tommy, he'd probably be like that for the rest of his life because it's just hard to make that change. He can, what he can do, though, is he can say, I want to do this and work on it, but it just takes so much time. It just doesn't happen overnight.

You know what I'm saying? It's just, so. Let me ask you something. You know, I don't park over that, that two hour. Oh, sure. We're almost out of here. I got to ask you something and we'll let you go. Where's Sergio Love?

He didn't come back up there back and forth. And, you know, since the thing happened with Tommy, he's been the last time I talked to him, I got his number if you want it. Where is he? He lives over, if he's still over there, he's off of LaBrea and, uh, uh, at the, at those expensive apartments over there, uh, the Palazios or whatever. You know, I'm talking about.

No, he's LeBria and. He's just a good dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll hit him up. Send them my love. Send him out of my love. I really always loved him. Yeah, he's been doing this, first he was doing this race car thing that he was working with, with these guys, some kind of race car thing.

And then the last time I talked to him. he was doing some show or some TV thing up in Vegas that he was working with. And then that's the last time I seen him. You know, man, he wanted to go hard and Tommy. I had to stop him a couple of times.

Yeah, he's no joke. Let me read these sponsors real quick. I'm going to get you out of here. A big shout out to my motherfuckers that on it. I love you guys with all my heart. I took Shroom Tech the last two days. Just a great product if you want to work out. And you want that little extra fucking push.

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I love you to, Doug Willis. You know what I'm saying? Thank you very much for coming and just talking a different little perspective. We could have talked about gang shit. They know they all seen colors. They all saw fucking talking about the college. Yeah, what the fuck. And you, I'm sorry. What are you doing this weekend?

I'm going to Fort Laud. Where are you leaving? I know you're not taking the last thing? Yeah. Because you're a half of a fucking. You're not a car. No, no. He's the fucking executive producer. He's the assistant to the assistant, to the assistant, to the assistant. To the assistant, director of the show.

I got a promotion, I guess. That's right. You got one less assistant. When are you leaving Thursday? You're taking an edible with you? They're eating on the plane? Nothing. You don't want a full star of death.

The lot of the people. No, those flights are scary. Anarchy edibles for fucking killing me the last. They got a little crispy bar, a chocolate crispy bar. delicious, nutritious, and you got... You called me like 30 times yesterday. Every 30 minutes he calls him,

what he's doing? I love you, Lisa. I love you, brother. Where are you going to be, buddy? I'm going to be at motherfucking crackers. Indianapolis. Get your fucking sweater on, put new socks on, and watch that snatch. Uncle Joey's coming to Indianapolis.

Next week I'm going to Cleveland hilarities. Again, put on the sweater. Then the week after that, me, Lee, a bunch of us are going up to Sacramento. I am? I don't know. You have. Okay.

So there's a dude coming in Indianapolis, who I made a bet with for the Super Bowl. So he has to wear a Patriot shirt to your show now. I'll give him a hug and take a picture for you. I love you guys. Thank you very much, but have a great weekend. Do you have a Twitter doc? How can they find you? Yeah, Doc Willis.

Doc Willis. I forgot, man. You can find me on Facebook at Doc Willis, right? No, I can't even, I can't fuck with that, man. And you're at the comedy store? Yep, I'm at the comedy store. And if they want to find me, they can find me at Willis underscore doc. Awesome.

I'm at the Comedy Store tonight, 1115, Cucks. Look at you. You're like an organ player over there. You're like rigs. I tell you, they're going to be on the phone. All right. Go to, now that the show's over, don't forget to go to NatureBogs. Don't stare at me like that.

Go to NatureBox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting, healthy snacks. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels. Go to naturebox.com slash Joey. That's naturebox.com slash Joey. Go to meandies.com slash Joey and check out the men's and women's underwear they have. When you go to meandies.com slash joey, you're going to get 20% off of your first order and you get free shipping in the U.S. and Canada. That always makes me laugh. Go to ony.com and use corporate church to get 10% off of your order of.

all their optimization products and go to iron dragon tv.com and use cover joe to get two free rentals of all their martial arts movies