The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #267 - Frankie Edgar, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: March 24, 2015

Frankie Edgar, UFC fighter whos next fight is Headlining UFC FIght Night: Edgar Vs. Faber on May 16, 2015, calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by:  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  10th Avenue Freeze Out - Bruce Springsteen I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet The Car With Lyrics - Moving In Stereo Recorded on 03/23/2015

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1,200 guaranteed puffs and we go to hitesigs.com and use code where Joey's church are going to get 20% off of your order. Oh shit. Just when you thought it was safe, baby. Are you fucking kidding me or what? March 23rd, bitches,

the church of what's happening now? Little Bruce Springsteen for you, motherfuckers. Get you in a Jersey type of fucking mood. Are you kidding me? Drop that shit, Lee. Too fucking much, baby. Just when you thought it was safe. Break out the fucking new chops.

We're taking this bitch to town. Oh, shit. Bad motherfucker. The devil was buried at sea, bitches. What's going on, my little brother? Not much, buddy. My little Jewish fucking demon. I'm surprised you were listening to Springsteen.

Usually you don't like him that much. I like this fucking jam. I like that album. I like that... What album's that? It's not darkness on the edge of town. It's the other one. I don't know what the fucking name of it is.

It's off the top of my head. It's got that on it. It's not Thunder Road, but the other fucking one. Who knows? Great to be here. It's Monday. March 23rd. The day the devil was fucking raped in the ass and spit on it and shit

and going into the ocean. All that shit. St. Michael, fuck them up. I'm here with my main man Lee Syatt. The boogey down man. What's happening, baby? How was your weekend? I had a great weekend.

Tell them what you did. Tell them what you did. I finally introduced. Paul to some stars death. See what I'm saying? One little fucking star of death you gave it like a little piece Friday. You talk to me since you hadn't gotten off yet, which happens. Right. Your body doesn't know

what the fuck to do. Then you gave him a little bit then the warmth started. Right. It was awesome. It was... You thought I was kidding you Friday. You thought like... Well, you've been telling me to do it for months. Months. You've been telling me to... Busted out. Dosa. If you make people think about shit, they're never going to do it. It's like anything else in life.

Hey man, you should do this. Yeah, yeah. Let me think about it. I'll think about it. And then they You know, they always come up with, ah, right. Just dose them, and then they got nowhere to go. Then they're going to get mad for 10 minutes. Then they're going to start smiling. And that's it. Then everybody's fucking happy.

I didn't even have to dose her. I just, she was into it, and she even asked what we did two nights in a row. And we just, we watched two things. We watched, dude wears my car, dude wears your car. And then we watched Kings of Comedy with, like, Bernie Mac and all those guys from 2000. And we were just laughing at the stupid. We were laughing hysterically for almost all of dude where's my car because the woman who, Rice Cup or whatever,

the comedian who played Chloe in 24, she recognized her, and I said that she's under deep cover, deep undercover as like one of those old town people. So we would just laugh every time she came on screen. She's deep undercover. It's fucking fun sometimes, you know, especially when you don't do it.

Right. And you get the giggles and you... It was kind of cool. I saw it from kind of your point of view a little bit because she had never done it before. So she stood up at one point. She's like, I don't know if I can walk. I was like, you're already walking?

And she's like, oh, great. And we had some good food. We got Thai food. It was a great weekend. Yeah, man. Nice and light. You didn't fucking kill yourself. No.

We had to go for cocktails and wait on the line and deal with assholes in the clubs. It's a lot better than drinking. Honestly, there's no hangover. It's not that expensive. And it's, you don't feel like, you never feel sick from it. Every once in a while, I took too much, but I would never give her that. much so. No, you know, and sometimes you're eating edible and just go do something simple. Like go on Ventura Boulevard and walk around the restaurant row or something.

We, after this, after this podcast on Friday, we went to Jersey Mikes. Did you? And had a great sub. What did she have? She, we got the same thing. We got turkey on wheat with a little bit of bacon. And that's good, right? I told you.

I did the mayo with the salt and the pepper. It was great. Fucking tremendous. No avocado. No avocado. No avocado. The avocado for me. is a little bit so, like, I like it on burger

sometimes, but subs I'm not hugely into. But then we went next door, they have Rita's, like the shaved ice thing from Philly. Oh, that was so good. What flavor did you? I never been in there. Well, we went on a stupid day. We went on, it was like a free day, which we didn't know, so there's a bigger

line. But we got something that was like half ice, half custard mixed together, so it was like a kind of like a shake, like kind of a thinner shake. It was really good. No shit. Yeah. I always see that. It's really popular. I've never gone in there just because Apparently it's a big Philly thing. That's what Simone was

telling me. And he said that people love it and the line was literally out the door on Friday because like the first day of spring is free ice day or something. And it was great. We had a great time. Fucking great, man. Yeah. How about you? How was your weekend? I fucking did

you know, did spots worked out heavy Saturday, Sunday, went to Jitoo Friday, lifted both days, took the baby swimming Saturday, you know, the same bullshit, did a few spots. I did great over at the improv

with Greg Fitzsimmons' show. That's cool. Then I went over to the main room at the comedy store and ate death. Really? I was Talonari. I'm 50% in the main room. The main room is iffy. You know, for me. It always has. I just take the spot and I go down and I try my best. And it's like a few hundred feet from the original

room, so why do you think it's different? It's a bigger room. It's a way bigger room, a different layout. It feels different. It's pointed towards the west. You know, at the fucking comedy store, the shingdu, whatever they fucking call it. When Chinese people point some. Feng Shui. Fung Shui. It's pointed to the fucking, whatever it is, the East.

I don't even know anymore. But it's, I don't know. There's no excuses. I just always have it in the back of my mind. I went out there very high energy and they would just put me to a halt. Really? It was just a halt. But I don't.

Hey, listen, man, it's a 50-fucking 50 situation. How long does that, like, weigh on your mind when you have a bad set? Once I get to the car. Once I started the con was making a left on to Laurel Canyon, it was all gone from there. I don't give a fuck anymore. It's a game of percentages. It's a game of, you know, you're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days. Even if you have 10 bad days, 10 good days in a row, eventually going to have a bad set, you know, and you can't control it.

You control the, you know, I did okay, but it wasn't what I wanted. Right. Sunday day, I did have a great time, though. I did, again, I went out of my comfort zone. I drove downtown. Oh, wow. Oh, you drove? Yeah, fuck, yeah.

I wasn't going to take. The train was a half a mile where it dropped me off. She got to take a cab. My wife said just, and it was easy. I just drove. I went over there. It was 20 bucks to park. And I went to EBI, and it was fucking phenomenal.

I stayed to the semifinals. I didn't get to watch Gary Tone. I watched Gary Tone and roll twice. Okay. Nate Orchard. I saw, you know, Harvey Mendez lost. I saw some great jujitsu. I didn't know what the fuck

it was too high level for me. Really? A lot of leg locks and shit, which I don't even like feet. Like I'll never, once you become a blue belt, you're allowed to go for leg locks and heel hooks and all that shit. Okay. But I don't even like people's

feet, so I'll never become a blue belt. You'll never touch people's feet? No. I'd rather fucking have my hand cut off than have a man touching my feet and him grabbing my foot and me grabbing his fucking foot. But the start the show was definitely this little girl. I don't know how old she was. Her name was Grace.

Grace Gundrum from 10th Planet, Bethlehem, PA. Yeah, you were telling me about it. It was, I mean, it brought me to tears. It brought me, my emotions, everything. It just, it was amazing to see this little girl, a little Asian girl, was maybe, you know, the other girl had it

maybe like by 15 pounds, a little tall, a little lankier. Okay. And she stuck to what Jiu Jitsu is. Jiu Jitsu is for little people. to fucked up big people, to neutralize them, you know, and she did exactly that. She showed us the beauty of jiu jih Tjitsu all over again, which is if you go to the technique the way it's taught to you and stick to it,

no matter what that guy is doing, he can't stop it. Just the technique, it's so technical Jiu-Jitsu. You know, when you first start, it's hard to comprehend that. You do everything from strength, but the more you go, you see that everything flows, and it's all about being very technical. If you put your knee there and your hand there, and she did it.

And, I mean, she brought the fucking place to a standing ovation. Is it only one match at a time? Yeah, it's one match at a time, two people. It's 10-minute matches. It's submission only, and it's overtime. So you grab somebody's back in a seatbelt and put your hooks in, and they say,

go, and you've got to get out of it. Or I have to try to submit you, and you have to try to get out of it. Okay. So you have to turn it into me. You know, without me submitting, you're going for your neck. Very interesting. The matches the way Eddie's doing it.

You know, Eddie really knows Jiu-Jitsu. You know, people think he's crazy or whatever. When it comes to Jiu-Zitza, he's got a great mind. He has, if I listen to him on Rogan, and he was talking about, he's after watching it yesterday, after seeing Eddie against what's his name in Meta-Morris, I realize that there is a market for it on TV. There's nights I'm going through television shit on ESPN. There's some horrible fucking programming.

Whether it's about hunting and I got nothing again hunters or fucking poker. You know, there is a time slot. There is room on television today for one hour of Jiu-Jitsu a week in a tournament situation. Ten people, $10,000 winner. It's done in an hour. It's 10-minute matches, you know? It's done in fucking two hours. You know, if they can figure out how to do it in two hours on TV every week, it'd be fucking phenomenal.

I know I'd watch. What was so cool about that? Well, they did at the Orpham Theater. They did it downtown. It was just a different shot. Oh, no, I meant with that girl who won. What was so cool about her match? That she came from behind.

It was always like she was always a smaller opponent. But it didn't really settle. I mean, the highlight of the match was in her mom, started yelling. She caught a quiet minute in the room. And she goes, let's go, Grace. wrapped this up. I got no time to fuck around or mess around. Like, the whole room of Gentiles froze by

how she said it, but that's how she basically motivated her daughter. And at the end, she got her, and I think she choked her, and she escaped, and she won. She was the cutest little girl in the world. This is going to change for women. Like, this is going to change.

Like, I think in my, after watching it, I think the reason why I got more emotional is because my daughter, have to take bullshit. I don't have to worry about my daughter getting manhandle. You know, if you have a daughter or, you know, for years, women always wanted to get women's lib, but it didn't bite with me. Now it's biting. Okay. You want women's fucking lib. You got to get in there and get down it fucking dirty. And women are doing it. Ronda

Rousey's doing it. Right. These women are really doing it, which it's, you know, I'm 52. How long am I going to be around for my fucking daughter until she's 18, 19, maybe? You know, Sometimes I get so worked up doing standing, my head will blow up right on fucking stage one day. But until that time, I know that my daughter, I mean, that's it. It's just something empowering. Like, it just empowered me. Like, this little girl just did this, you know.

When are you going to put her in Jadicil? Do you have a plan? I'm not going to put her in. She has to come to me and say, I want to give her a try. Oh, okay. I'm not really going to force her on anything. I'll expose it to it. She'll be exposed to it, you know, at the house, the TV,

or at school, and she'll come to me one day and say, I want to go, watch it, no, take it or watch it. And she'll either like it or she won't. You know, kids, you know, you can't, I don't want a Pistol Pete Maravich, my child, into liking a specific sport. Pistol Pete was a player in the 70s, that was great. But when the biography came out, his father used to torture him, Pistol Pete died from cirrhosis of the liver, I think.

He drank himself to fucking death. He was a great basketball player. But he had one of those fathers. Right. That you've seen him with two fathers, I'm telling him, get out there. You lost, go sleep in the fucking garage, you know, that type of shit. You lost, go shoot free throws till you fucking win those fathers that are living their dream through their child, so they're pushing them. I don't want to do that.

I want her to, you know, she wants to learn Tai Chi. What the fuck am I going to do? Let it be a Tai Chi black belt. Let her hypnotize people. But I think it's good for kids. I'm the least athletic person in the world, but my mom always had me doing something. I was either soccer or baseball. Have to.

No, she's going to do something. Right. That's the least of my worries. Listen, my wife doesn't work so she could take her, and there's an activity every fucking day. There's always something. Today they went to the zoo. They went to take school pictures in the zoo. Tomorrow she just goes to school.

Wednesday she goes to a friend's house, and they all watch the kids, and they jump up and down, they fucking barbecue. Thursday, she goes to school on Friday. She goes to Kitty Corner. There's always an adventure looming. Saturday, she goes swimming. Sunday, she goes to the daycare over at church for two hours, and she loses her fucking mind there.

There's always something. There always has to be something because everybody knows idle hands of the devil's motherfucking workshop. I hope she gets into a martial art. People have opinions about martial arts. I know for a fact, martial arts works. Why? Because it worked on me.

It got my life together two times. So martial arts works. It's a discipline. It's something that you get involved in. It's something that you become a part of. And that's better than becoming anything else. I'd rather have a child than

excuse me a martial art than anything else her involvement in there you know I did taekwendo for seven or eight years I went to I went to red belt and I'm

I don't regret not doing it not finishing to get a black belt but one thing my mom my mom never let me quit anything which I think has helped me a lot like I

if I was going to stop doing a sport I had to have something else or even that Like, I'd have to finish the season. I had a bunch of friends who quit freshman football, the first couple weeks into the practices. I never played football ever, and I joined freshman year. And I played, I only played, like, two snaps the entire season

because, like, they had to put you in once, and it was against the worst team. And I hated. I hated every minute of it. But I remember I finished the season, and it's, especially out here, you see people switching jobs a lot, and that's never been made. I always like, I try to stick things out. You have to. It's funny last week, you and I were having a conversation.

You did your taxes. Yeah. You thought you're going to go back to jail and you owed a little bit more than you were interested in. Right. And you didn't panic. I thought that you were. I thought that you're going to be a little worse than what you were because there's nothing you could do. But then you told me you wanted to drive, Uber.

And I'm like, this fucking guy's crazy. And then when I call you that, and you're like, I'm going to drive. I got to call you. you're back and you were giving some people some rides. And I thought about it that night. And Lee, I've done the same. Whenever I got into a bind, I'm like, oh, shit. Well, before I got into comedy, or even when I got into comedy,

there was times when I said, you know what, this isn't working. I'm going to go get a job. And bam, you book a fucking commercial. Bam, you book a TV show. Right. And people do it all the time. Like, they go for a dream and then, you know, a couple of years into it. They're like, I'm not making money in this.

I'm going to go back to driving a bus. and then, but if they were to put the full effort, I understand, I understand, man. I understand when people do that. I understand the need to have money. I understand the need to want things. I just don't understand the need of people needing to bail on something. So when this happens, I called you two days ago we spoke and I said,

listen, I just think you should put more effort into your field. Right. You know, you're going to go put time. 10 to 20 hours a week into somebody else's fucking career or driving or loading or waitressing,

what other fuck you're going to do? Right. When if you put 10 more harder hours into your job, shit's going to happen. You're going to see it. Shit's going to happen. Right.

And that's what happened. You know, things happen. I mean, uh, I never understood that. And I, and I hope you, and I'm happy you understood

when I said to you what I was saying. No, I understand. I hated. I've only done it a couple times. And there's nothing I, it was so demeaning doing it. And it's not, it's just the way that people, and most of the people were cool, but it was just some of the way people treated me. I was just like, I'm not supposed to be doing this. And it's, it's, of course it's about the money.

Like I need the money to pay taxes and I need the money to live. But I've been working with you for almost four years, I think. And even though my parents are supportive and even though. even though Paul is supportive, they don't really get it. Like my mom will call me and say, oh, who else are you doing a podcast with her? Or she heard about other people who are producing podcasts. You should go talk to them. And for me, I don't know if it's, I put so much work into what we've been doing.

And I'm so invested in it. And yes, I get to come and we hang and we laugh and I get to have edible. so I understand why some people might not understand it. But I actually, this sounds horrible, but I'm going to say it. Before I left to do my taxes, I actually said a little prayer that I would be able to owe a little bit of amount that would let me keep doing this. Because, yeah, I would love to be a millionaire.

It would be great. But it's been so important to me what we're doing. because it's, it has my fingerprints on it. I was at the get, getting my car wash the other day, and I saw these people building a house, and I could never build a house, ever. But it was cool with me. I was a little bit high from a podcast,

and I was just watching them, and I'm like, that must be really cool to, like, start building a house, finish, and get to see what you did. And when we started, we were doing, we were using webcams and I was popping them up with Lysol wipes and we moved from my house to another office. We first started at your house.

I was working 10 hours a day and then going to it. So I think a lot of it is a little bit, maybe I'm too prideful. Maybe I do care too much about it and I want to make it, I want to see this turn into, I don't know, a TV show or someone sponsors us and gives us 100 grand a year each. I don't know what is going to come from it. But I was thinking I was going to do Uber just to make a little bit of money to pay off what I owe. But it's just – and I could have been very happy being an editor, I think.

I could have lived a very normal life and worked 60 hours a week or whatever it would have been. But whenever we have a great podcast or whenever somebody sends me an email now, it feels it's so it it blows my mind and it's just I was petrified of tax I was nervous for a couple weeks and I was going through us trying to get all the deductions I could and trust me now this is my first year only having this so I really sympathize with anyone who's doing their own stuff because they they basically doubled my taxes with a self-employment tax and I understand that it's basically because you're not paying into Social Security, but everyone always pushes the American dream on you. And the fact that they tax you more when you're self-employed is just unbelievable to me. So I was petrified, and I owe enough or a little bit that I can still keep doing this, and I don't have to go back and get an editing job. But I was petrified.

I don't know how I would have called you and said, listen, I can't do this anymore. That would have killed me. because you put so much faith into me four years ago when I Facebook messaged you. And we started with Matt Flavored World videos and I would edit them on the weekends and you'd give me 100 bucks a week when I knew nothing.

I was building furniture at my other job when I was supposed to be an assistant editor. And you put so much faith and you've... I don't want anyone to write to you and be like, oh, why aren't you paying leave? more, you're paying me more than most podcast producers probably get paid.

So it's not, it's not, it's never about the amount of money. It's. About loving what you do. I think, yeah, it's that and then who you're working with. You're, it's funny

brought up Greg Fitzsimmons. You did his podcast a year or so ago and I went with you and he said, what's the hardest part about working with Joey? And, uh, I, I think about it every now and then, You're not an easy person to work for in many ways. You want things faster than sometimes they can be.

You never take a vacation. There's never a week off from the podcast, really. But I've worked so many jobs where bosses are mean or bad people or they don't want anyone else's input. And this is your podcast. I got very lucky and you're well-known and this is your podcast, but you never make me feel like that. You never say it.

Sometimes you'll make fun of some of my ideas, but usually you're very open to it, and it's been, it was killing me. That was, I think, the part that was killing me, that I would have to make that phone call and say, listen, I have to go back to editing and I'll train somebody else, or I don't know what it would have been, but I'm glad that's not going to be the case.

First off, your handprint is on this podcast. A lot of people love the podcast, us being together. That's the whole thing. You know, I'm blown away by taxes, too. And I told you, like, a year ago, what I paid in taxes like from the podcast. Now they have a 10% city tax for businesses, for small businesses. It's like they come out you from all fucking direction,

And I think that there's something here. Listen, for years I was chasing, not the American dream, I was chasing a dream. I was chasing that I was going to do something and bump into money. Right. We all think when we're young, we're going to bump into money. We agree to the salary that we take a job. We go to that job every day. And then six months into, no matter what job we have, no matter what we're paying us,

you always want to go, fuck, I need to make more. That's just the, that's what we're about, you know, and you're working for somebody, they have whatever the fuck they call it, they pay you, and then you want more. Everybody wants more, and then you're like, maybe I'll bump it. It's like when you owe a lot of money in your credit cards, and you're like, I got to do something. This, I'm never seeing myself going to get away from this. Like, I'm never going to get out of this fucking hole, you know? And you're always thinking you're going to bump into that fucking envelope, you know? I never thought that.

I thought that so I was about 31 or 32 and then it got replaced by something called hard work you know Lee we fucking party too much we live in a society of people that they want to do everything and then when things don't go their way they want to cry well that means you can't do everything

and that was mine that was my biggest problem when I was in my 20s I wanted to do everything but you can't you know you pick up two tabs that's 300 bucks you're only getting 15 an hour or 12 an hour 18 an hour, 20 an hour, you're still getting an hour wait. And you go to a restaurant, it's

fucking 150 or whatever, with your friends. You know, when you go to Vegas, it's fucking cost money. When you go to all these places as a young man, it costs money, and I would always try to catch up with people. I was always catching up. I'll put this, next week, I'll pay the rent. You're never going to fucking pay the rent,

because next week something else is going to come up on Friday. You've got the wrong fucking friends, you know? You've got to get friends that stay in at night or whatever the fuck it is. When I got into comedy, it's funny, I always tell people, this June is really going to be 20 years in my comedy career. I really started in July of 91. But it took me four years to really attack stand-up comedy.

Do you know why, Lee? Because in those years, even though I was doing shitty jobs and selling cars, and I had to prepare myself for the journey, this was not going to be an easy journey. And that's what people always misinterpreted. This is going to be an easy journey. At first of all, we live in a place where everybody wants to go on vacation

three weeks a year. And not just fucking a vacation because nobody just wants to take a week off and plant tomatoes. Oh, no. They got to go somewhere exquisite and really fuck themselves up because it fucks your head up after like four days.

Could I live here? Could I do these things? Then you have to go back to fucking reality to pay for that fucking vacation. Right. So I'm not one to take a fucking vacation. I believe that there's work. There's something I could be

doing every day. That's my belief. That's how I was raised. That's what I've seen in 30 years of being in the job market, that people work five days a week and, oh, well, it's going to be a hard fucking life, brother, unless you're making fucking $90,000 an hour. Right.

You know, for me to be at the level of where I want my stand-up to be, where we want the podcast to be, it takes effort, it takes work. I've got to get up in the morning and think of notes and think of things and music. So it takes a lot more work. With this podcast, we generate some money from sponsors. I caught it with you, 50%, you know,

as close as I can without paying the bills and me losing money. And this for me has been also a learning experience. I mean, I don't want to fucking quit doing a podcast. But in my world, you know, I don't know. I just like sacrificing. I've always liked sacrificing. People always tell you, oh, we party, we went here,

and then two weeks later they're telling you how they're behind on their credit card. Well, you also went there for fucking two weeks, guy. You know, so there's so many fucking variables of living. It's just what we want to do. I always believe, and I said to you, I said, listen, there's so much more we could be doing with this podcast. It's not that we've gotten lazy, is that we've gotten busy. You know, we're trying to put the podcast up on Roe Kuh.

now we're trying to, I'm trying to put together respect. I mean, there's so many fucking things that, you know, it's like I was telling you. For years, I was my own agent. I knew what was movies were making. And when a movie got, I attacked that fucking movie. I don't have the time to be my own agent no more. Right. I just don't, you know.

I appreciate you sticking this out. And I know that things are going to change here, you know. I know you have some thoughts in your mind. I mean, you've got your t-shirts, you got your own blog, you got your own, little things going on and they're only going to get better the way this podcast got better. Right. But you've got to stick to it. You can't have two bad weeks and go I don't want to do it no more.

Everybody has two bad weeks. We went through a dry spell with the podcast a year and a half ago with our number, you know. And why? Because I was putting attention to the road. I wasn't putting attention to this. I was having too much fucking road work and not enough of this. This is our bread and butter. I love doing this.

Right. I really enjoy doing fucking this. You know, I love coming in here and talking to you. But I'm happy that you had that belief that you believed in yourself to stay here and come back let me tell you something and I don't know who the fuck you're kidding

and I'm gonna tell you something right now when you were editing you were not a happy person no no no no you were not a happy person I was there were some jobs that I was depressed those jobs suck right that overnight shit is an editor-in-a-sister you know and even John Budd

who's the brown belt over at V-MAC we've had thousands of conversations about you and he's told me a thousand times that job your friend has an assistant editor those jobs suck he's told me a thousand times to tell you to get a higher job like how to do it he was telling me

for you to go to the studio over you I just you have to talk to him yourself I can't I don't know the editing business so I can't I would love for you to get a day job if you get a day job we could still do this at night you know if you want to I'm with you whatever the fuck you want to do you know

but I don't want you to go get a job that you're not going to enjoy either it's the law diminishing returns The problem is with editing is I was about three years into assistant editing. So on a very, on an average scale, I was probably two to three, maybe four years away from editing, being an editor. And the problem is, yes, on paper, if I worked nine to five, we could do this every night at eight and that would be cool. One of the reasons I decided to leave editing was, and you know this from working into it. TV and movies, there's no set schedule. And I understand why the producers think that their thing is the most important thing in

the world because it's their name and they're the EPs and I understand that. But if I wanted to get an editing job right now or an assistant editing job, which I'd be doing, it'd probably be from 10 to 7 and then there'd be natural. I'd have to be there until 8.30 or 9. and there's no job in editing that I could do really and still do this the way we're doing it and well the dry spell we went through about a year and a half ago I was still working nights or another job

and I can see I see myself doing better since then so if like I tell everyone who asks if it got to the point where I'd be homeless yeah I would get an editing job I'm not going to be stupid about it but I'm okay not having the nicest apartment or not giving up some things, hoping that this will work out and working hard. Now, what does Paula want you to do for a job? What does she expect from you as a job?

I mean, obviously, you guys are getting more serious. You guys want to get married. She's been very cool. She would never want me to be unemployed, not making any money. And I think if I were to propose, she would want something a little bit more stable. But she understands what I'm doing, and she's been pretty cool about it. I think when we first started dating, I was making more money because I was still doing TV. So she's seen like a decline, but I haven't been able to do as many things as before, which is fine.

I think it's mostly my parents who and they're always very supportive they always ask about it and they're very supportive of it but they want they saw how much money I was making before and they don't want me to have to, I don't think they want me to worry about money

and they know that editing is even though it's not super secure because you go from show to show there's a guaranteed paycheck and they take taxes out and it's more of a regular life. So I see where they're coming from. So what does, for you to propose to Paula, what would Paula say to you? You have to go back and get a day job now or edit a job.

I don't know if she'd say that. So what would you do? You'd go back and work 10 to fucking seven, so then when would she see you? Right. And that's what I do tell her sometimes when, like, if, like, we had a podcast on Friday, and I couldn't see until later. If I was working a regular job, I wouldn't have, because sometimes we go away on a Thursday night, Like if you're gone, sometimes we'll go away to like San Diego or something.

So that wouldn't be possible. I don't think she would say I'd have to go get another job. I think if in two or three years when that will probably be what's happening, because I'm not going to do it until after she graduates, I think she might ask me about it, which I understand. I mean, you have a high college degree. What are the things that can you do? What are the things would you like to do?

What are you interested in doing? This. I love this. And I always liked editing, and I was pretty good at it, and I was lucky enough to work on some pretty good shows. But you're right. When I said I would have been happy, that's not exactly true. I think maybe it's just...

I mean, you're going to work 10 to 7, and you're not going to make much more money than when I'm paying at 10 to 7. And you've got to drive to fucking Santa Monica, and you got to stay up all life and look like the fucking Wolfman. Right. I mean, you weren't making extremely more.

Not at all. Not at any fucking ballpark. And you were working 10 to fucking seven. Right. You were putting together blocks and fucking houses and whatever the fuck they told you the sweeping shit.

Right. So in a way, it wasn't really assistant editing. It was more like you do everything. Well, that was, when I first started, towards the end, right, but the last couple jobs, I was, my last job,

I was the lead assistant editor. I was in charge of a couple other shit in editors. And, yeah, I was, I think after taxes, I was making $900 a week, something, something like that. So that's a comfortable life, but I was not happy. Like, they would call me in at nights over the weekends because the producer, the producer decided that I had to be there. So when you say I have a college degree and what else could I do or do I want to do, With that degree, with that degree, what else you consider doing?

The degree I have is in digital post-production, so all I can do is editing. I could probably get an insurance job or another kind of office job. Is that you an insurance? Yeah, I don't know, like a regular office job, and I could. What kind of job would you want to do? I don't want to do any other job. I mean, I've gotten to meet you, and I got to meet all the cool people we have, and not having to sit in traffic for three hours a day.

big plus and that's when i meant when i said that money isn't the number one concern i would love more money and that is a concern with me being able to pay my bills but i've who's had a happier year and a half than i have i've gotten to do such cool things i got i got to go to austin with you and some guy sent me an email last week and uh i didn't get to read the whole thing And what he said was is that I'm wasting my time doing this, and then I'm on your coattails, and I should be making my own name. And that was right before I was doing my taxes, so it kind of bummed me out. But I thought about it last night, and part of it's true.

Part of it is, obviously, if I was doing this podcast with your clone, but who didn't have your name, obviously the numbers wouldn't be there. But you start. But you got to start somewhere. It's like what you're a podcast. You know, I went on Rogan's podcast. I want another people's podcast. Their numbers are huge.

And I went on the podcast, and you work, and you work, and you work, and you work. Now, for a year and a half, you've done other podcasts. Right. And the big difference is with those podcasts and me is these guys don't work. Right. Their job is over once they walk in here. They walk in here 15 fucking minutes late. They don't prepare anything.

They have nothing to talk about when they do come in here. They have a shitty fucking guest. You know, I work at this, and that's what people avoid. When people don't want to do work, they go, okay, that's it. I'm going to do something else or something like this. And that's, we've seen it. I pointed it out there. I've said, watch this fucking move this person is going to do.

You've seen it all. Right. You've seen it. You've seen it from behind. They fucking freak. Work is a foreign word for fucking 60% of the people out of it. Right. Once they've got to do work, the brakes go on, and they change.

whether it's a script, a book, a movie, fucking anything. And you've seen it. I've showed it to you. How many intros that I make you? For people with podcasts, how many have worked out? Because this is work. It's work at any level. If you take your podcast right now, first of all, first off, you have never been on my coat tail.

We have built this together. That's what these morons don't understand. From doing $100 fucking videos, when I would give you the camera on Mondays and you give it back to me on Tuesday, We had nothing. So if we did this in four years, what you could do in two on your own, the office is available to you here. Nobody's in here throughout the day.

You've got editing equipment in here. You've got computers. You've got a fucking screen now. That's what I was saying to you. This is when you go, okay, what the fuck do I want to do? For a couple more yards next a week, I've got to be in a fucking car and take orders and work nights by myself when you're going to do. no air conditioning.

They fucking leave you in the fucking garage at night. That one night you have fucking take a cab back and go back. Oh, yeah. Here you go from point A to point B, which is two miles. Right. We eat fucking edibles. The worst thing that happens is you go home and eat 22 fucking rice cases. But you're making your own mark and you're starting somewhere.

You know, this all started for me. We're doing what? Opening for Joe Rogan on the road. Okay. But at the same time, what was that? I was building my own little niche. Every time you guys that listened to the podcast, send me a picture of me in basketball. That was 1998.

You sent me a thing of the Sopranos, Mad TV. That was 2003. Spider-Man 2, the longest yard. That was 2004 and fucking 5. When the podcast world come along. So no matter what I was doing with Joe Rogan, I was always doing my own thing. So people never confused me with Joe Rogan. That was very big to me that Joe had been so kind and had such a huge heart to take me on the row with me

and pay me. And then he would take me an Ari with him and pay us and take us for stakes and, you know, first class plane tickets. You know, Joe doesn't fuck around. That's how I started. You don't think I was on his coat tails? You bet your ass I was. But I really wasn't because I was doing something for myself. on my own, which is the most important

fucking thing in this life. I don't give a fuck if you're fucking what is 60% of the kids you grew up there? They went to work for their fucking fathers. That's not being on somebody's coat tail. Who the fuck are you kidding? Why are you working for your father? Where are you living?

You're living at the house. You ain't paying rent and mom is still cooking for you. You're on that coat tail. What happens after four years that you work for your father? You actually learn the fucking trade. And then what happens? Then you put your own spin on it, your own artistic fucking way on it.

There's things we do with this podcast, and I'm sure you don't fucking like Lee. And I love that you don't fucking like it because that's how much better your podcast is when you start doing a podcast. It is already. You're doing a lot better than these other fucking boboes you had in here with you for fucking eight weeks. And you're not a fucking comedian. You're not even a fucking comedian. I did a fucking podcast with a woman that was a 20-year comic, and she couldn't get the work ethic of what this podcast is. So I've told you a thousand times in four years, you're going to have the knowledge.

to take over this town. It's what you do with it. I love what's his name, Barry. I didn't like what he said to you that night because he tried to do it in a whatever way. And half of these fucking idiots listening at home believe that. That you didn't have a career as a manager.

Well, guess what? You're going to have more of a career as a manager than he is because you're a manager that's dialed in on 2015. Half these fucking people I talked to in the day that walk around parading like their big agents and managers don't have the main ingredient, brother. They don't have the get-go.

So always remember that You're on nobody's coat tail Unless you're not doing something If you were home fanning your pussy Yes, master And you're running over here But that's not the case Is that the case with you and I?

No No We set a time, we goof I call you I tell you what my dilemmas are You solve them for me How many problems you solve for me You ever think about that?

How many problems you solve for me? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here I'll call you and say This is slipping You go maybe Maybe you should do it Boom and that's it You make little adjustment

So now you got to take these adjustments and put them into your art and what the fuck you're doing And that's what people never understand You always start on somebody's coat tail as as as horrible as that sounds Yeah, you don't think I get it fuck you Joe Dias Joe I don't give a fuck Because in my heart I know I did something on the side I wrote my own jokes While I was working with Joe Rogan and I'll fucking get Joe Rogan on the phone right now How many fucking times have you people said Joey you were supposed to be with Joe? No I'm doing my own fucking thing because I want Joe to give me that respect I

I always wanted Joe to call me and sometimes me to go, hey Joe, no, I can't do that. We can't, come on, Joey. No, because I always wanted Joe to know that I was doing my own work. I'm doing my own work, brother. I know what you're doing, and I'm with you. You know, I got your back. But I got to take care of this. And he would get off the phone and he'd be mad for a week.

But then in a week he'd call me and go, dog, I'm really proud of you. You got that movie. You got that sitcom or you got that. Because you and I both know, I got no help. I complain to you all the fucking time. My agents, you know, during another. the fucking planet. If I don't do it, nobody fucking does it. Right. So

a lot of these people miscon's true what we're doing here. They think that I'm here throwing bottles at you and shit. When we're on the road and you say to me, bro, you want to water. What do I always say? I'll get it myself. You're my equal. I never wanted you to think that you had to fucking get anything or that's not the way it is.

The only thing you do for me that I like that you do is when you go on and get the guests. I don't want to walk down those stairs. My knee fucking hurts. But besides that, that's it. You'll never be on my coattails. You contribute to this, you help this, you enhance this. Now you have to figure out how to do this for yourself, how to take this and take what you've learned together

and add your own spend and develop your podcast or take another young comic and go, hey man, I might have an idea for you, but I got a condition. If you fucking quit before six months, I'll sue you for $10,000. And you make them sign that contract, and they have to be at a certain time and they have to have the same discipline you and I have had. Because I've told you a thousand times.

At 26, I would have canceled eight times already at 6 in the morning. I would have been fucking coked up. So don't ever feel that. Just take what you have and the knowledge you have and go forward. You'd never be on my coattails. You'll never be on nobody's coattail. That's why I always tell young comics, when you work with something on the road,

I want you to make your own move. So every once in a while when you call him, you say, home, hey, I'm busy this week. I can't fucking do it. Where's Tony better? You like that? Huh, gosh, second. I love it. I wonder how much I had of that big star. Me too. I'm fucked up, too.

I want to be around to pick up the pieces. Watch for the call. I am. I am. Somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart.

You highly? Yeah. Want another hit of this? Oh, sure. Oh, wait, we got it. Frankie. Yeah, hello. What's up, my brother?

Joey, what's going on? How are you, buddy? I'm good, I'm good. How was Manila? It was hot. It's hot. It was kind of like the hotel was nice, casino-like, and then the rest was like a strong dog millionaire, you know?

Yeah, how is the food? You know, tell it's good. It's all American eye. And I stepped that step to the stuff I'm going to eat, you know? How is, uh, how's New Jersey doing right now? Is it still fucking cold? It's fucking cold, man. It won't go away.

I won't go away, but actually, I think it's supposed to warm up next week a little bit. My buddy called me today, he goes, Joey, it's still 29 degrees, man. Yeah, dude. I'm real. Unreal. So what's happening, my brother? I wanted to get Sean for a long time, you know, and just talk about whatever. You know, you're one of my all-time favorites

And I haven't seen you since the Cubs Swanson fight And I gotta tell you, brother, Un-Fucking believable. Unbelievable, Frankie Edgar. You get better every time you step in that fucking octagon, man. Every time. Yeah, you know, that's what I try to do. Between every fight, just make sure I could beat myself the next time.

And Cubs Swanson is no walk in the park, man. I mean, you just, I remember calling Joe that night and going, Joe, What I want for Christmas is Frankie Egga against the Irishman, and I tweeted it, and fucking people got pissed off at me and shit. But you know how we do it Frankie Edgar? We go straight at that motherfucking lion. That's right.

You know that. You know that. I mean, we'll get there. We're going to get it done. No, no. And now you got your Riah Faber next month? Yeah, yeah, May 16th. Oh, shit.

Back in Manila, you know, he's a great guy. He's a great fighter. I mean, this is a great fight for you. I read somewhere that for you, this is like a championship fight. I mean, all of them are. All of them are. What are you doing different for this one? Yeah, the same stuff, man.

You know, I mean, I've been fighting the top guys for a long time, and I go in there, I'm expected to fight the best your rider is, you know, that's all. And most of all I worry about myself. I see a quote up and what the other guy does, and my team maybe a little bit to get through the same. But now we're just worried about what we do, when we go about our business. No, it's,

like I said, I've been watching your fights lately. I watched the other night, Jose Aldo was on, the main event. Yeah, yeah, I heard that. Yeah, I heard that. That's Twitter about that one. And I tell you, you know, I talk a lot of shit, Frankie, and the truth of the matter is

there's only one fight ever placed money on, and that's you. My man. Me and my wife went in there for the 100th show when you fought the kid that retired. We bet you, and I don't bet anybody. because I loved the sport. I didn't want to ruin it like football for me.

Every time I watch football now, it's just, I don't watch it no more because I can't bet it. So I want that to happen to me with the UFC because I really loved the whatever of it. And I know that I got to tell you something. A couple months ago, Connor was fighting Dennis Siever and I was watching UFC tonight. And I could see that you were just as uncomfortable.

I mean, if you could or you would have jumped through that fucking screen and for them yourself. I just know the Jersey body language. You know, you just have that jersey body language. You know, it's tough to watch, you know. That's the way it goes, you know, and it's a business sport, and I'm learning that, you know. No, it's like me. It's a business.

It's not about the funniest guy. This is a business. It's about who they pay to see and who they... But I'm looking forward to this Uriah Faber fight. I'm looking forward to whatever happens in July with those two fucking knuckleheads, and then you get the winner of that, you know? I mean, that's the bottom fucking line. Obviously, I got to take care of business with your rider,

but my goal is to hold that bell again. So I'm in the way. And you're still trading at, in rent Hanzos? Or are you trained by you? Look, look. I'm in Jersey. I go up there once in a while. You know, it's just tough, tough ride, man.

But, you know, I'm a record over me down in Jersey. Now, from your place, and Tom's River, is it? Is that where you're living there? Yeah, Tom's River, yeah. To Henry. That's where he's at. Henry, New Jersey. I don't even know what the fuck Henry, New Jersey is.

No, no, no. He's in, uh, Coros in, uh, he's in Robinsville, New Jersey. It's like kind of about Trent area. And how far is that right? It's like a 40-minute ride, 40-minute ride. I've never even heard where that town is at. Yeah, it looks like, it's on the way, it's on the way to trend.

Now, let me ask you this. This kid that I watched yesterday at the Eddie Bravo tournament, Gary Tonin, you know this guy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he changed with us. Okay. He was in one kind of day. No, because he's a star man.

Oh, my God. You know, Frankie, I know a little bit of Jiu-Jitsu. I go twice a week. You know, I got other things going on. I go down to Higand. You know, and I'm a white belt. I like, you know, Camoras and neck chokes and shit like that game jokes.

I know nothing. I was telling me, let me tell you something. I never want to become a blue belt because I don't want people fucking with my feet and I don't want to touch nobody else's fucking feet. It was like a leg lock seminar yesterday. I didn't know what was going on, so it was very high level for me to see what was going on, but there was some great matches anyway, but Gary's a fucking pimp.

He is, man. He's not scared to compete against anybody, you know. That's always hot in there with anybody, man. He's impressive to wax. A couple weeks ago, some people were training with him in the city somewhere, and one of the guys wrote, I'm with Gary. I just got a five guys burger, and I fucking went off. You're in fucking New York,

you got a five guys fucking burger. You can eat one of those scabby burgers anyway. But down the show, I'm going to sausage and pepper or some shit. That's right. That's right. I just... This kid Gary, man, he's a stud, man. You know, I'm wondering if he talks about me, he possibly getting to M&A.

So, see what happens. Yeah, that was tremendous yesterday. You got any questions for my man, Frankie here? Yeah, hey, Frankie. My name is Leah to produce the show. I don't know if you saw it or not. but this weekend there was a crazy call in Brazil where the ref called a stoppage and the guy wasn't even close to tapping.

I don't know. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But, like, UFC is, like, the only major sport where the ref and, like, the rules are in another organization. Like, the NFL pleases itself. So it's kind of weird as a fan of other sports to hear Dana White. like arguing for no contest why do you think the

UFC doesn't have its own rules and its own refs and I don't understand what would be stopping them from that yeah I mean you know the reason I think they don't have their own rules is people don't want to think like the UFC is fixing fights and UFC is telling the judge you're the referee to do this and do that

that's what I think you know it like to keep it like that as a third party but I mean half these commissions and judges and referees and they need something because I mean you bad day calls weekly you know have you ever had a fight that ended with a call like that because it must it must just kill the fighter who loses and it must mess up the guy who wins too

he must think maybe he didn't really win yeah I've never been the situation like that but that's unfortunate man you know a lot of people on you know you put a lot into this and you know I think that guy would rather been knocked out than that happened to him I can't I can't even imagine. Joey told, I think it was about Frankie, right? About fighting in bars in New Jersey? Was that him, Joey? No, no. We were talking about the toughness

of the Jersey Shore. The same story I told you about that time of Mr. Breakfast. Mr. Breakfast. When my buddy fought the guy, and I always say that, you know, the Jersey Shore gets fucking shit on by these

fucking, like guys like my friends that would go down the show on the weekends and park where the fuck they want to. and have barbecues and double park and make noise. And then your family comes over and knocks on the door that the fucking people rented to us. And then I say something to your parents. And then you got to, you know, there was always drama. I remember going down and I'm a fucking, I never create drama like that in front of somebody's house.

But I used to always go, somebody fucking lives next door to these people. And they got to put up with all this shit, people having parties. And then I got into, I saw the fist fights. And I'm like, you know what, it just makes sense that these guys down the shore, have to be fucking tough because they put up with so much fucking shit. And then as I got old, you know, we play football against

Brick Township and you play football against these short teams. And these fucking guys, you got to hit them to fucking knock them down. And I knew this for years and then you come along. And then you come along. And I'm trying to explain to people. Listen, man, watch this guy because I know these little

fucking guys. They're a little small and they're deceiving and they bounce around but they'll fuck you up. They'll fuck you up Like what you do You just fuck people up They're getting trans with your little bob And your little weave

Which is at the top of its fucking game I was at home trying to punch you And I couldn't fucking punch it That's how much You were bobbing and weaving Against what's his name But it's it's The Jersey Shore has always meant something

Like even wrestlers They always have great wrestlers Down there You know It's cold down there All fucking winter They gotta stay in The basketball teams have always been great

And it's like They have this heart that people just, you know, when you fought a, what's the fucking guy's name out of Vegas, that was a team couture that time, I told people, you got to hit Frankie with a fucking sink, and then pray you don't get up, and then pray you don't

get up because it's like a toughness that the shore puts in you, you know? Yeah, no, I definitely getting some scraps over on the seaside over the bridge, man, kind of the nature of growing up down here, you know? You got the guys from up north coming, trying to step on your

It's fucking crazy And they do it every week And after a while I know it's got to be I saw a fist fight Remember the body The water slide in Seaside Heights Yeah

Oh yeah That you used to put your Like you went with your t-shirt off But if you paid an extra 10 bucks They give you like a body suit And you did like 30 miles an hour Even faster I saw a

Yeah Yeah he's a rainbow Rainbow Rapids It's not there no more It can't be No no They got something different now But yeah

Rainbow Rapids I saw a fist fight there, Frankie, that the kid got hit with a bottle, and he still kept coming. It was like walking fucking dead. I've seen some shit down the jersey. I think for violence, San Francisco's number one in the Jersey Shore. One time, what's the one up from Lavalette, where it's nice people and stuff? Orteley, Orteley, or Lavalette.

It's next to C-Cast. Yeah, Lavalette, Lavalette, very next to each other. I saw a fist fight down there that must have took in, it was like 25 minutes. You know, I'm Batman. You see a fight. It takes two fucking seconds. Pan, pan, pan, pan. These guys kept coming at each other.

After the shirts were ripped and they stopped and drank water, they kept fucking fighting again, you know. They had rounds. They had rounds. This is a street fight. But they're relentless. And that's, you know, hey, listen, man, that style. That's what I think people love about you.

That's why you're a fan fucking favorite. And that's why I wanted you to just call in. So I could tell you that, man. I love you to death, Frankie. I appreciate it, man. I appreciate the love. You know, I've got to represent Jersey, man. I know you're in the nice weather now, but, you know, you can't forget Jersey.

Oh, listen, man, I miss Jersey. Jersey is who I am, Frank Yeager. When you talk and look at me, man, I got nothing but Jersey. I am a white. I can tell. Oh, my God. When I came from, you know, and people, the Italians love me because they're all about mama. So when my mama died, they fucking took me in.

You know, they just took it in. And you got the Irish, the Italian, a couple of Germans, a couple Jews. You put that all together. There's always one black kid. We always had one black kid. You got the token black guy. You had the token black guy. And they all mix up.

Hey, when are you coming back out here, do UFC tonight? I don't know. Probably after my flight. You know, I'm going to stay at it until May 16th. And I'll definitely be out there, do UFC tonight, something like that. When you come out, man, I like you to see it. And maybe you come on and talk to us. I know it's laid over there in Jersey.

I don't want to take much of time. Yeah, that'd be great, man. Yeah, I just wanted for you to call and let you know I love you. We're cheering for you here at the church. We got you. And that's it, man. You're one of us. I appreciate it, man.

You guys are the best, man. You're funny and shit, man. So it's a pleasure being on the show. Hey, you too, and I'll watch you. I'll see you somewhere. I'll be in the Vegas Memorial Day weekend. Hopefully you'll be out there fucking around. Yeah, it won't be bad.

A little celebration. All right, man. I love you, Frankie. Thank you very much for taking the time. All right, man. I'll see you May 16th. Knock him dead, brother. Got it.

What's up, Lisa, yeah? How much, buddy? How are you feeling? You're still a little high? I'm very high. Let me give some shoutouts and shit. My main man, Quinn from Ottawa. Alex Henriquez.

Happy birthday. Lewis Robertson, Benito Lugo, Jamil Haddad, Mike Wilson, Sean Barrett, Philip Craig, and Chung Kennedy. I love you, motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? Did you see the video of Bruce Lee Kesarrizzar? doing a bare-knuckle fight in like a park.

No, I didn't see that. Oh, my God. Let me pull it up. Is he still in the UFC? It said he was. I didn't say another fight, but this was a few years before the UFC. Let me pull it up. It's hysterical.

I want to thank some of the people that, most of the people that watched the Ari Shafia show and Comedy Central the United. I got a bunch of great remarks from your people and great feedback. You know, this is not happening show. I don't know what the numbers were or whatever, but I got to tell you something, man.

It was fucking great getting that story off my chest. I hate watching myself. I've always been, don't worry about it, Lee. Don't worry about it. I've always been a big against watching myself. I fucking hate it, Lee. I hate, you know, Lee always stays on me in DiAgostino, but you don't tape your sets.

Joey, you should have tape what you sit. I fucking hate listening to myself. I hate that whole thing. So I'm at the Comedy Store Thursday. I'm at somewhere first, and then I go to the Comedy Store and do the set. I think you went to Laugh Factory? I think I was at the Laugh Factory. Yes, I was at the Laugh Factory, and I go up to the Comedy Store, I do my set,

and I get in my car and I go home, and as I fucking walk in the door, my wife was taping Comedy Central at 930, and she went to bed. So Comedy Central had been left on. So basically, I walk in, go in the bathroom, take a pee. I always got to pee when I walk in. I wash my hands. I go get some coffee. When I walk out, Ari's bringing me up.

So I watched it. And I forgot what I had said, as I usually fucking do. You know, Zerida was this lady who just was a dear friend of my mother's man. And she, her and my mother were just super tightly. They would talk for fucking hours. You know, you know, when you're 30, you know, when I was a kid, there was only one phone in the house. Right. You know, so there was times I want to, or sometimes I would, and I, I'm lying to you guys, I had a phone in my room, but my own phone number, but there was times I wanted to make another call.

There was the call waiting. So I would go in the kitchen and my mom would be on the phone. I'm like, fuck, because me and Whitey were trying to put a bed in. So I would have to call my bookie from the other thing and then tell Whitey on the phone the line is six and a half, whatever the fuck it is. That's hysterical. Yeah, we were kids, you know, we didn't fucking know. So she would always be on the phone with the right. I used to get pissed off.

Mom, get off the fucking phone. How long can you talk to somebody for? It was always that attitude, you know. This lady fucking came through, man. She just was my mother's dear friend, and they used to laugh at night. And the last six months of my mom's life, it was really sad.

She was really sad about losing my stepfather and the bar and all this shit. She was worried about her future and how she's going to make a living. And Zeraita made it all better. Like Zerai'rida would just come to the hospital, come to the house, and just make it all better.

My mom had a surgery about a month and a half before she died on her stomach. Something was bothering her, like Felicia Crohn's or whatever that is. Okay. So something was bothering her, so she got surgery. So Zeraita was there. Zerada was just always around, you know, and it was funny. She had an apartment in Spanish Harlem, but she lived in Long Island. She had that much money.

Zerite had made millions from what I heard. I heard she was sending a bunch of money to Cube every month, and she was sending money in a bank. You know, she had a drug operation over a bodega on 113th Street, and she had security on the street. She had security in the fucking hallway. So right, it was a badass bitch. You know, she had the drug down.

She had the drug trade down. She had, I think she had another apartment in the area. So what she would do is she'd get there like a tent, and she'd prep the drugs for the day, And then sell drugs to like four. Then she'd get so fucked up. She'd take a nap for two or three hours. And then she'd come back and work from seven to like two in the morning, selling

Coke and little bags of heroin. You know, and I would go over that as a kid, and I'd make believe I didn't know what she was doing, but I knew what the fuck she was doing. Fuck. I think the greatest thing about the story, and I watched it on TV and then I watch it on YouTube. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you really worked this out. Did you? I know you planned it, but you never did it on stage.

No, I can't do it on stage. You the fuck would tolerate that. I think a lot of people, when they were watching it, me included, that moment when you get sort of caught up. Yes. It was a... If I was going to make an advertisement about that show to get that show picked up, like that moment is I'm assuming what Ari wants.

because there's no one I know who could watch that and not get choked up but then right after you do the line about Zerata giving your mom Coke in the casket and the entire room explodes because like the camera you can see yourself about to cry and like the whole audience is just silent

the reason I could tell was a good story the bartenders were watching if you look in the back of the video the bartenders at the strip club were leaning on the bar just watching. And it was great. It was amazing to see. I was in the moment. I had to be in the moment because I never told that story publicly.

Never mind. I never told my wife this. This is something I lived with for 20 fucking years that I didn't do right by this woman. I had not done right by her after everything she did for me. You have no idea how many nights, like I said, I would just make up a fucking story. like at 11 o'clock at night I'd be with you fucked up

with no money and I call her up you got a phone bro let me call on New York no my mother's gonna know don't worry about it let me call on New York I would call up

she'd be there and she'd go what are you doing nothing man listen I just got a call I gotta go to the University of Michigan tomorrow

look at the school there was no fucking university in Michigan there was no school she would go what do you need three 400

can you get over here right now I'm gonna be here for another I'll be there in fucking 20 minutes I get over there I'd get $300, $400,400 for me. I said, listen, let me get a gram of Coke so I could sell my friend in the car.

There was no fucking friend in the car. It was my, for me. She'd give me the cram and go keep the $100. And I'd fucking snort the Coke. You have no idea. You have no idea how bad I feel about this. And towards the end, it was horrible. I was just a kid.

I didn't know. I was just a kid. What do you think? Because you've told stories where you beat other drug dealers and you don't feel, you've said you don't feel bad about it because of drug dealers. What do you think it is about her or that? I didn't beat her for money. I beat her because she loved me.

She really loved me. You have no idea. She loved me, but she loved my mother. She didn't call me Coco, and she didn't call me Joey. She called me Cosita. That means little thing. The only other thing that was little in her life was her chihuahua, and that was Cosita. Cosita means like this little thing, like, well, not go cossita, this little thing.

So that's what she used to call me. I mean, she used to babysit me. When I came from Cuba, she used to, my mom used to go, I used to leave you with her, and it was horrible because she would get tanked and let you do whatever you wanted to do. She would let you. Like if you wanted a piece of chicken, she'd go buy your 20 pieces of chicken. If you want a candy, she took and bought you candy. It just wasn't healthy, so I couldn't leave her with you anymore.

She loved me, man. She loved me. She watched me grow in front of her eyes. She watched me become a man. Then she helped me become a man, you know. But then it's like anything else, the drugs. You know, somebody wrote me today, and I told him what addiction is. Addiction means fucking your friends and your loved ones.

You know, mentally, physically, spiritually, that's what you do. You weigh on your friends. Every time you see me, Lee, as much as you love me, you know, I'm going to hit you up for 50 bucks or a ride or, you know, and you like doing Coke too, but eventually you're like Joey, that's it. You know, I don't mind taking a ride with you and fucking around with you doing a bump with you. But that's fucking it. And as I was watching me tell the story, because it sucked me into.

You know, it sucked me and just I was very proud. I was very proud that I kept her alive. I kept her rider alive in my heart. Every time I make a move, I always think, Jesus Christ, you know, I wish she was alive to see me doing this. To see me not doing coke and not being deceivious and not being a bad person.

I wish she would have gotten to see me. And I know that she's somewhere watching me with my mother right now. She passed. I got the news when I went to Miami. My godmother is friends. with her niece. But she didn't really know what had happened. She just thought I disappeared the same way she disappeared.

She lived three years after that. I just had no contact with her, you know. And I can't lie to you. When I went over it, when I went back to New York in 91, I went over into the city and I walked around and I asked questions. Even six years later, I still, it bothered me not making it right with her. That's what it was. I feel by telling the story and letting everybody know what I'd do.

didn't how I acted. I made it right. She was a funny lady, man. She was a ballsy fucking lady, man. Her and my mother were two women that I have the utmost respect for because of the valor, the balls they showed. You know, they really did. She was a woman selling drugs in the 70s in Harlem with no husband.

She didn't want a husband. She didn't want a man around there. She didn't want nobody around her. She had nothing. It was just her and that fucking chihuahua and a gun in her purse. She had like two or three guns. on it all time. She always had three fucking pieces on her at all time. She always had one in her underwear,

one in her purse, and one in her bra. Like a 22, like a little one. A tits were huge, so she put it right over here. Sometimes the barrel, not the barrel, but the thing that the handle stuck out. So she would put it right over here, so she would pull it out you when you went to buy drugs. She was just, it was a

different time. It was a, you know, and she loved me, Lee. She really fucking loved me, which is something that, uh, is rare when like a friend of your parents really loves you. They weren't sisters. They had no blood between them. They were dear friends.

And it taught me how to be a friend. It taught me what you need to be a friend. You know, people always, I don't have a know, you know, the show Friends Ruined America. And I would have gone into that more that night on stage, but I only have 15 minutes because when I wrote it out, that was part of the write-up. The show Friends ruined America

because it lets everybody think that they have to go out with eight people. Life is too complicated. to have a fucking friends and to appease all of them and to be nice to all of them and to get along. That's why I said, you know, when you have a grammar school friend, you have two or three fucking friends, you can take over everything. Because whatever you need, I can call you, Lee, go hey, Lee, I got this problem.

It's not money, it's whatever. I'm getting a job as an editor, and I'm going to do another podcast, but I can't, you know what I'm saying? That's what friends do. They take care of each other's mental, you know, dilemmas. Right. They ease the mental dilemmas. When you call me with the tax thing, I talk to you,

I busted your balls about going to jail, you know? A little bit. For like three days, you called me, all right, I got a new deal for you. You'll only do seven years, but then you go to a halfway house. Yeah, no, no. But that's what friends do.

People misinterpret. They want to have all these friends and have these parties and have all these people. I'm like, why would you want to do that? I don't want fucking 80 friends. I just need three motherfuckers to make it work, and they did. And the fact that she came every weekend.

Lee. I can't do shit every fucking Sunday. I would meet her at one. I would have to get a ride to Otto's Bar and Grill on 30th and New York Avenue. I'd walk in, she'd have, it would be her, another lady, two other ladies, and two guys,

and she'd take a cab from New York with everybody. And the bar would be hopping. People would go there to meet her, like my mom's friend, and she'd be buying drinks, giving up bumps. There was a hot dog place in front of it, and a sat bread hot dog stand. we'd be out there eating hot dogs. Then we'd call a cab, or she'd keep the cab from New York and get him in.

Come up, get out of the car, come and sign and drink with us. The fucking cab driver would be at the bar drinking. Then we'd take a ride down to the cemetery, hang out, do our thing. That was a half hour. She'd give me cash. She'd talk to me about my week, what I was going to do, whatever, and then she'd leave me there because I lived right around the corner from Wehawken Cemetery. And then she'd go right back to Long Island.

Or sometimes she'd go back to Harlem, close out the night, and then go back to Long Island. She did that every weekend. For somebody who was no blood to her, that's loyalty. That's friendship. That's something that's unheard of today. You know, I saw, and I talked about Maryland, and I spoke about the Jeff Valdez fucking thing. I fucking almost killed him. And I finally got that guy spit in his fucking face two years later.

I wanted to talk to you about that. That was my favorite part of your story because you could have ended it at the Z thing that you weren't able to be there for her. That could have been the end of your story. But you took it and you brought it back around the other way, which I haven't seen. Storytelling comedy is really big right now.

And I don't see a lot of people doing that. So I, for that part, like, people have been tweeting me because apparently I laugh at a certain point when no one else does. My favorite part of any performance you ever have is the thing that I don't think anyone else notices or only a couple people notice or stuff that makes you laugh on stage because everyone else is hearing the jokes for the first time. So, but you doing that extra bit about Marilyn was so cool. Like you, you thought about this story. You must have thought about the story for a long time. Well, I thought about the friendship story, and let's be honest here. Let's be fucking totally honest here.

I like the matter, the whatever story. And then I heard for a few months, I've been hearing through friends that a couple people said that they were, they couldn't work with me because of what I had done at the comedy store that night, to Jeff. A lot of people said, you know what, don't work with them because the whole town knows about it. and then I got to do business with. And Hollywood is a place, this area here. I don't know what's society. I don't know what's going out out there. I know this place here, we live in a place where you can't tell somebody they're doing something wrong.

These Hollywood people, these directors and these writers and whatever, you can't say to them, hey, man, don't talk to me that way. You know, you work the fucked up bosses and send them money. They talk to you a certain way. You're like, do me a favor. Don't talk to me that way. most people would go home mad and then come back to the next day and say, Lee, I'm very sorry for talking to you that way.

You're absolutely right. You don't deserve that. Here in Hollywood, people get pissed off for you if you call them out. Jeff had been running people a muck for years. He had been a scumbag to people for years. Primarily his own people, his own Mexican-Latin friends, he was being a scumbact. He had his favorites, but to everybody else he was a fucking shithead to. And I had noticed it.

He was a shithead to me He did something to me that hurt me Fucking tragically But it made me a better stand-up What do you do? He wanted me to showcase for something He made me showcase for a festival Like four or five times clean

And then he told me I didn't get the festival And then he added a dirty show To really rub salt in my fucking wounds I had just got to Hollywood I wasn't prepared for that I still live life How men live life When I tell you I'm gonna do something

I do it I got here these aren't meant. These are all a bunch of fucking nomads that have no soul so they don't get, they're not accountable for their words, not accountable for their actions. They always blame it on somebody, oh, it wasn't me, it was the producer. It was you, you motherfucker.

It was you, you cock sucker. So when he did that to me, after that, I got numb towards him. I didn't really, because I knew I wanted to always smack him. Marilyn kept fucking around with him and kept getting burnt by him. Maryland kept fucking around with him and Marilyn needed the money. So Marilyn would dick around with him

for dollars and cents. I wouldn't. I just said, I'm going to avoid that fucking guy. But I'm never going to forget what he did. Tonight, Maryland, the weekend Maryland died. It's the truth. I hadn't been, I had snore the Coke. When I got the news that Maryland died, I hadn't been clean for four days. By the time they did the wake, I was clean a week. I was clean seven days by the time I went down there.

I was furious. When I seen him down there, I went off. I threatened him from the stage. You know, I told him, hey, get the fuck out of here. I'm going to fucking stab you. and then I left, and I was furious. I never thought about it that way. When I found out that people were mad at me

for sticking up for a friend of mine, whether it was awake or whatever the fuck it was, it hurt my feelings because I wanted them to know the story, where it came from. That's why that story wouldn't have been a whole story if I wouldn't have told the wake story. Right. If I would have just went up there

and told the story about Maryland, it wouldn't have sold. It had to compare. I had to compare it to what made me like me beating the Coke for a week was huge but me sticking up for fucking Maryland that night was even bigger in my world

you know why because it taught me that over the years the addiction had hit my manhood and it did don't get me wrong I was still an asshole and I still stuck up for myself but it was a personal stick up for myself I wouldn't stick up for myself against the industry.

And when I did that, it set me fucking freely. It made me a better fucking man. I'm going to look at a drive home going, holy shit. I haven't been this person in 30 fucking years. What happened to this person? What happened to this person that fought what he believed for that? Lee, have you called me when I was a kid and said, you got a problem with eight motherfuckers.

I said, get in the car. We're going to go down there and deal with eight motherfuckers. even though I knew I was going to lose I still won because we went there and stuck up for ourselves and sometimes bro there can be eight people on the corner they see you stick

when eight guys are standing on a corner or six guys or five guys and two guys pull up in the car and one guy's been abused and the other guy shows up these five guys are thinking what's this fucking guy thinking but he's stepping up to us by himself he's got something we don't know about so sometimes doing that levels

off the playing field in people's minds he's got something he may have a fucking gun. For a long time when I was in L.A., I stuck up for myself as a human, but I didn't stick up for myself as a comedian. And after that night with Jeff, I stuck up for Maryland and myself,

and I got in that car on the drive home, no matter how bad I wanted to... I'm in my crying on the drive home because I hadn't had those feelings. Those feelings that come out. Oh my God. Now it's Coco again. This is Cocoa Diaz. This is not Joey Diaz no more. Some ha-ha-ha-ha guys. You guys

for years saw Joey Diaz. Now the people you see is Coco Diaz. This is how I was raised. These are my thoughts. This is what my beliefs were at a young age. So by me sticking up for him, bro, and meant the world to me. Let's say it's true that some people won't work with you because of what you did. Does any part of you regret it?

Not at all. I don't give a fuck because that eliminates the mental man. I don't have to do business with them. We don't have the same beliefs. They look at the sign. And they could say, hey, man, it wasn't classy. There was a write-up two days later. LA Times that I still have at the house.

Hidden somewhere. Terry's got it in the book. About what you said? About everything that happened at this wait. There was a writer there from the LA Times that covered the wake. And he put Jeff's name in and Jeff tried to fight the LA Times. They told him to fuck off that they were going to check the allegations. And they checked them and they said, yeah, the kid's right. Fuck off.

And he got super pissed. That's what really, I hit him where it fucking hurt. Like I really got them. They came out in the news and everything. It came out in the LA Times, man. Front fucking page. me on a stage pointing at a fucking wake.

Oh yeah, they got a picture? Oh yeah, they got a picture of it. Oh, I'm going to have to look for it now. That's crazy. Oh, you should bring it in. So that's what it was. It was more about me becoming me. But after I did it,

then I remember my Zerai, at the wake, choking. Yeah. Mr. whatever's name was, he was a good dude, bro. That dude that ran the funeral ball in Jersey, I buttle whatever's name was, he was a good Cuban dude.

And Zirai to fucking choked him because they put the wrong dress on her. That's what got me choked up once I started saying that story because I haven't thought about it. It was a thought, not a reality coming out of your mind. Put the wrong dress on my mother. You should have seen this woman.

That's what set you off, really? That's not what set you off, really? Well, no, no, no. But I'm saying that's what made you get emotional? Yeah, just saying it that night, saying that whole reliving it. Like, I was there. I was at that wake again. I still remember going outside

and coming back in. day night maybe 1230 I still remember that Lee and smell in the formaldehyde like that scent never got out of my nose and just sitting in the back and walking in while Zeraita was petting her I'll never

forget that memory that that memory is etched I still remember Zerai had the brown dress on it was just the most time she was kneeling down and she was just touching her hair and she was touching her cheek and she was just telling her that you know, and I said it wrong in the thing,

when she was saying that her world wouldn't be the same. Like, my world was going to be completely different. I'm never going to get to talk to you again in the daytime. We're never going to giggle about this or giggle about the Mets or talk about this guy's fucking ugly cock. You know, when she was saying all these things to her, and I was remembering my mom laughing. And I just broke that.

And then she just said, I'm going to take care of your son. And I came over and we all hugged. You know, I hugged the Zerriding. kissed her and she was crying and I was crying but I could see how much it hurt her that night and then I went away for a corner and I did my thing and maybe an hour later I was sitting there by myself way just by myself had to be maybe two in the morning they were going to bury her I was going to go home about six take a shower and put a suit on and come back and about an hour later I don't know where the fuck's the rider was I just lost it I just lost it I fucking lost it I

I couldn't believe she was gone. That night was, you know, you go through all the motions all week, and you think you're going to do okay. Right there, I lost it. And that was it, I never lost it. And the next day when they threw dirt on her, I lost her a little bit. The next day is a rider, went to the city when they buried my mom. She went to the city after we went and we all ate somebody.

And then she went to the city. She got half of stuff. She trusted her drug business, which, some minions, and she came and stayed with me until Thanksgiving. So I would be okay. Thanksgiving was when I moved with the Benders, Thanksgiving Day, and then she went back to New York to resume. So for three weeks, she stayed with me after the wake, after the funeral.

Just me and her. She would cook for me. She'd make me breakfast. She'd wash my clothes. She'd make sure I had money every day. That's what she did. So lived in my mother's house with me. You have no idea.

You've never said that before. No, no, no. this is something that people would never understand. This is why when you think you have a good friend or you think you're a good friend, you have to re-qualify. You really do. You have no fucking idea.

She stayed with me. I still remember the last night I took acid. Well, the last night she was staying with me, I took acid, and I came home and the blob was on. Okay. And I was giggling by myself, and she came out of the room. She's like, what are you doing? And she goes, are you okay?

Are you on something? And I was like, no. And then I remember walking over, and getting this girl and walking him back to my house. And we were swapping, like, pulled the pants off and she had her period. A fucking pad popped up.

And I, on the way back, Zerrida came on the room. She's like, what happened? That was quick. You know, Zerrida was a fucking trip, man. But a lot of people don't know this. She stayed with me until Thanksgiving. And then I went, moved in with the benders, and that was that? That's so, that's crazy. Like, I've never heard of your story, essentially.

Like, maybe in my time now, if somebody, like, you just go with a family member, like, the next, like, I'm shocked you didn't go with your stepdad. Like, it's just going from friend's house to friends' house. I had two loose of the life, Lee. I had an open door at my house. I came when I went. I went when I wanted to, you know, I had a phone, I had an air condition, had cable TV in my room. My mom had spoiled me. I was an only child.

How the fuck was I only going to live in Union City? make new friends, transfer high schools to live on the fourth floor with no fucking elevator with Juan, with mice in the apartment, because Juan was a cheap fuck and he left food out at night and shit like that. I couldn't do it. I couldn't fucking do it. If I went and lived with Carmine, Carmine Major would be in the house by 9 o'clock. You had to have

fucking A's on your report card. He would check your eyes when you came home at night. He'd breathalized you. You know, at that age, I was too fucking loose. It was too late. I wasn't going to gonna, ah, I gotta be home with nine. Are you fucking kidding? I wouldn't go out to the nine. But

in hindsight, I don't know, I did the right thing. I moved with the Benders. I did what I want. They threw me out a year and a half later. That was it. That's my story. You never thought about moving in Miss Ryder? She looked at fucking Long Island, Lee. That's even farther. Oh, okay, so your friends were very important.

Yeah, my friend. I was just starting to, you know, I just was starting to get my shit off. I But, you know, to take me all the way to Long Island, two hours away, that would be monstrous, you know. What was I had to live in our drug apartment in Manhattan by myself and go to school in the city? I couldn't do that either. The Bender's offered a nice place. They had no rules.

I could come and go as I went. If I needed $20, Mr. Bender gave me $20. If I needed a ride, John would give me a ride or the boys would give me a ride somewhere. I was okay, man. I had a great support. I had Steve a Villa. Ontario. I had great people around me.

So, you know, things worked out how they did. I had Zeraita. I didn't want to move somewhere. It was going to be hard. You know, any bravo always says, Joey Diaz likes easy shit. That's why I don't want to attend planet downtown. It's 45 minutes out of my fucking day each way.

You know, it's too much. I like simplicity. I don't like driving. You know, I would have gone to St. Anthony's in Jersey City, but that means I would have to fucking take a bus. Two buses now. Fuck you. That's too much to get my day started, you know?

So that's what really happened. Let's read some sponsors. Get the fuck out of here. What do you think? Okay. Unless you got another question? No, I don't have another question. You want to eat some other pieces?

No, I don't want any other piece of it. Did you want to talk about what happened when he and Steve last night? Or do you want me to just... What happened when you were in Steve last night? Yeah. You licked his asshole. I should have. But he was very nice and he invited me over it.

Like who's having, oh, again, no, we're talking about friends. Lee's always been the same problem I have. You know, Lee thinks that the world hates, like I did at that age, you know. Cocaine was for gaming balls. It took me balls and alcohol, you know, which you don't do. So you'd rather stay home alone than go out and feel, that's the same feeling I have. That's why I don't go to bars. That's why I don't do anything, Lee.

But it's not that I'd rather. I've always wanted to. there's always a guy and you're kind of like it where it gets along with everybody and can go over and talk to anybody I love doing like the live podcast when there's going to be a bunch of people there but when Steve told me that there were going to be like

four people there who were already friends and that he invited me to go just by myself that's petrifying I would love to do that I would love to have a bunch of friends I saw all the time but I was thinking of any excuse not to go any excuse. Sounds familiar anybody

any excuse not to I'm just same fucking way. I sit at home sometimes. No, I don't want to go. They're not going to like me. Why am I going to drive down there? I'm going to bomb. My biggest fear is to, especially in that sort of situation, is to be extremely out of place. Like, with

people who are already friends, I don't, because I've always been that guy who's quiet and doesn't talk much, but I don't want to ever be out of place or being true. Like, somebody about, oh, why do you invite that? Like, that's my worst nightmare. And the thing

most people probably wouldn't think that. And I'm just putting it on myself. How was the state? Oh, it was great. You called me up and you're like, you know, they invited me over. I don't know. And I go, what are you going to go back home like a fucking mom? I go, go home, pick up some stars, and bring them over and be a good neighbor, like Allstate.

And you went over, you broke out of your fucking rusty cage. Yeah. And you had a great time with kids your age. You know, with kids your age that you could talk about and you had shit. And that's what we, listen, I get a bunch of emails from people that say to me, You know, the podcast helps. I'm depressed. I do the same.

Then I sit at home and go, and I got no friends. You got a ton of friends. You just don't want to get in the car and go nowhere. You feel insecure. You feel they're not going to like you. Yeah, that's it. You feel like there's going to be hot chicks there, and you're going to feel like, you don't belong.

I do that every fucking day. That's every fucking day in my world. I was thinking about that with Paula. I don't think I ever once went up to a girl at a bar and, like, asked for her number. I don't think I ever did that. Because I just, one-on-one, and I think a lot of people go through it. I don't know if I'm socially anxious or have that social anxiety.

I don't know what it's called. But any sort of thing like that, it terrifies me. Like, it's, I would, I would rather go do a live podcast or do this podcast. It was crazy because I got recognized dead fries last night. This cool dude who has. was a cashier helping me. He recognized me from the podcast, which it feels, it's great. I thought I was going to be an editor. Now you have it in. Now you have something to talk about. Right. I get what you're saying.

Not even that, though. But just, he had just invited me and I met this cool dude I have an in with. And he recognized me. That's like the highest thing. And yet I'm still too, I was petrified to go over to my friend's house and have a stake. I was like, I was thinking it was going to be terrible. And it was great. But that was just... You know, our insecurities kill us, Lee. I'm worse than you are.

Lee, I'm worse than you are. You know, I get invited... I used to get invited to all these movie things and shit. I would go open go. People are going to look at me. They're going to think that. Why is he here? He looks like a criminal.

You know, look, I can see kidnapping written all over his face. So I just say, fuck it. I'm not going to fucking go out. And then people call you the next day. What were you? A bunch of people waiting for you. You get kind of upset with yourself.

Yeah. I do this all the time. That's my M.O. Lee, so don't feel bad. That's why what did I say? I go, get your fucking go over there, go. Go. They're inviting you. They wouldn't invite you.

They didn't want you over there. Yeah, that's true. It was Dave Taylor and Ari and Steve Simone and Rick Engram. They're fucking kids, man, just like you. You know, like I said, Leah, it's time for you to fucking go out there and spread your wings. Fuck out of it. Fuck out of me. They ain't going to do that for you.

You're in a car fucking five hours a week. Yeah. They ain't paying you for that. They ain't paying for your fucking gas. You know, trust me. You got to get what you got, work from strength, get your podcast up, you know, get different fucking guests, interview news weather people, interview the minister of Nata Rahoo, the guy from Israel.

Let's get some Israelis in this motherfucker with machine guns. That would cool. Let's get an Israeli weapon salesman. Let's get some people that your age group wants to listen to. That's what we do. We're just here talking. We're just having a conversation that's true. full honest and you know you've never ever ever have i ever in all this four years of room working

together have i ever thought you're on my coattails i've always thought that you were learning and what you're learning from me i'm learning from you the same way i learn from these fucking people you know i went to work did two hard workouts this last weekend i went to jihitoo friday today i took the day off and i felt guilty all day you know why i feel guilty because i want to lose weight i want to work with these people who watch the show you want to lose away just focus on this podcast how we can make this one better and your own better and you're never on my coattails buddy you just and that's don't ever feel that way when people offering you a handout or help i always felt insecure about that this guy thinks no you know it's only going to make me a better comic if gabriel

calls me and says i want you to do it it's only going to make me a better comment i don't give a fuck who i'm opening for that i never let that ego fuck you i'm a comic I'm supposed to get on fucking stage. That's what I'm supposed to do. If Joe wants to put me up, I can call Joe right now tomorrow, and I'll do every fucking tour date with him if I wanted to hesitate.

He'd pay me great, and I'd have a great time, and we giggle, and we learn. You know what I'm saying? I just don't want him to be that guy. So do what you do, Lee. Make me fucking very proud to fucking have this island of work with you cuck-sucking. Let's reach the sponsors.

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