The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #270 - Curtis Salcido, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 2, 2015

Curtis Salcido, body builder, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. 
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Recorded live on 04/01/2015.
 Music:
 Sober - Tool Gimme Back My Bullets - Lynyrd Skynyrd

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Use Cobra Joey to get two free rentals. Jesus Christ, Almighty. Let's start this fucking thing already. It's Wednesday night. April 1st, fucking momos playing tricks like an asshole and shit. Let's do this. The church of what's happened now? Cocksuckers.

What? Kick this motherfucker Lee. Kick that meal. Copsucker. Oh, shit. Lee Syatt's in the house. My main man, Curtis, Salcedo's in the house. Oh, shit.

You got some weeds, you got some food, and you got the church, cock suckers. Oh, yeah. There you go. A little something to get you started. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. What the fuck, Lee? What the fuck, do?

You're playing games with me, and shit. 22 minutes to get the fucking computer warmed up. It took the normal three minutes. We've been here since 7.30. We've been around, fucking bowing at the flag. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. I'm sorry. How are you guys doing out there today?

Welcome to the church, April 1st. Some guy tweeted me, what's the best trick you played on April 1st? I showed your mom my dick. That's the fucking trick. Get it together, cocksuckers. We're adults here. Really, you never egg the house or trick somebody? You do that on Devil's night tonight before Thanksgiving.

You egg somebody's house. To egg somebody's house in April, you're wasting good eggs. You know what's up, cock sucking? Nothing. How was your day? It was all right. I had to go to the DMV, which sucked. But yeah, it's what you got to do. I'm doing good. And you went to Santa Monica? Oh, yeah.

Fuck, yeah. You didn't go locally. You make an appointment. You had to make it. If you don't, you spend eight hours there. When I got there, this dude was next to me. He had G130, and they were at G80. And I was like, oh, shit. So I was like, thank God I made an appointment. That's when you abandoned shit. You said, fuck this. I'll come back here on Thursday. Curtis South Sato.

What's up, Prey, and I'm going to do. How are you? My brother. Welcome to the mic. You have the same problem I got. We talking to the fucking hemisphere. And the people get pissed off at me. How are you, my friend? Good, Joey. What's happening? Not there much. Thank you for having me on.

It's an honor to bring you on. A lot of you people sit there. Who the fuck is Curtis Salsato? We haven't seen him. I know you how long? Five years now. Yeah. But at the Bray Improv, we used to come to the Wednesday shows. That's right. You used to sit there and watch. And I always knew you were like learning something.

Like, you were like, something. You were going to be a public speaker. You were watching them. We used to talk on MySpace. Right on MySpace. We used to talk. And I watched, we became friends on Facebook. And I watched you.

You were this big guy. And all of a sudden you're entering bodybuilding competitions and shit. And I'm blown the fuck away. So when I saw you took fifth, I want you to come on and tell these fuckers your story. But let's torture Lee a little bit. No one's going to bother him. Look at, show your arms just so I can see on camera. Oh, my God.

God. He's a fucking savage. That's amazing. I don't even care if that sounds weird for me saying. Look at that. How old are you not, Chris? I'm 32. So, when did the transformation hit you? Like, what were you doing that you said, you know what?

I weighed 360 fucking pounds. It's got to end. What? Did you always want to be a bodybuilder? No, I didn't want to be a bodybuilder. I didn't want to be one at all, actually. I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger and, you know, Sylvester Stallone. and wanting to

you know kind of emulate them be like them be big and strong but never really do bodybuilding you know but uh it was only probably about three years ago where I just I reached 360 pounds

I was going through a lot of stress at the time you know I was going through a bad breakup and I was kind of depressed and uh... What were you eating? I was eating fucking pizza every day and in and out, and I was drinking. I was actually drinking a lot.

And, you know, when you drink alcohol almost every day, you know, that's going to add some pounds too, because that just converts in the straight sugar. That's what everyone says. Everyone says when you stop drinking, lose weight, but I never drank, so I had no idea. So you fucked. Yeah.

Pretty much. Like me, we're both fuck, we don't drink. Yeah, I don't really drink anymore, but, I mean, at the time I was drinking a lot. I was partying a lot of del taco, Late night Del Taco runs. Oh, Del Taco is good. You know, but, yeah, I've always, I've been big my whole life, and I've always been teased,

and I've always been called Fat Boy. That sucks. You know, just people saying I have titties and just talking shit, and, you know, just the usual bullying, stuff like that. But I would say that the past, probably the past 12 years, I've kind of, a lot, I would go in spurts. I would lose weight. I'd get in shape and I would, I'd lose me about 20, 30 pounds, just doing a crash diet. And then I'd gain some confidence. And then I'd kind of slack a little bit, go back to my old habits. And then I'd get big again. But it was during those times, those brief periods of getting in shape and crash dieting where, you know,

I felt my best and I had a lot of confidence. So I saw these glimpses of how I could look and how I could feel. And just like I said, I got to a pretty low point in my life where I going through a bad relationship, bad breakup, and was, you know, drinking a lot, eating a lot. And then, you know, a lot of people, even as adults, not just kids, even adults, you know, they treat you differently, you know, when you're when you're fat or when you're bigger and heavier. It's kind of like a different form of discrimination in a way. Kind of like how someone would discriminate against a person of color or different religion. People like to point out your differences, make fun of you.

So I just got sick of it. And I saw, like I said, I saw glimpses of how good I could look in the past. And I wanted to make a serious run for it. And I knew that 400 pounds was right around the corner. And I didn't want to wait to get to be that big. So I just decided to do whatever it takes to just lose the weight. And, I mean, I tried it all. I tried every single diet in the book.

Did you ever try one of those pills? I did liposine once for like a week. It felt like it felt like the speed. I bought that off TV and I hit it in my sock drawer when I was in high school. It's fucked up. I did everything. I did NutriSystem. Yeah.

I did like Weight Watchers. I did what's the drink one? Slim Fast. I probably tried that at some point. Slim fast. It sucks. Let me ask you something. You said something interesting. Do you really feel that people discriminate? Yeah, absolutely. In what way? In the workplace?

I would say workplace. Just being out in public, people, they just look at you and talk to you differently. Especially, you know, being out at, say, like a club or, you know, somewhere out with your friends, you know, girls especially are not really going to give you the time of day, unless you have a really, you know, great personality or, you know, you have money, you have a lot of other things going on. But, you know, if you're just an overweight guy, women aren't going to necessarily flock to you. Guys are going to think that they're better than you just because, you know, they're skinnier than you or they have a better body than you.

It's kind of like a one-upsmanship. Like, you know, I'm better than you because I'm in better shape than you are, you know, that kind of thing. So I would experience that a lot. I don't know what it is, maybe because, you know, I'm a friendly guy and, you know, I just, people just think they could say certain things and I'll be okay with it. You know, it's like these subtle, these subtle comments, you know. people find a way to call you fat or make fun of you in very subtle ways. So I just got tired of it.

And I was like, you know what, I'm better than this. I'm not that fat guy that you think I am. So I'm going to prove you wrong, kind of. And it first started with trying to prove people wrong and not wanting to be treated that way. And then it took on many different other reasons and motivations and stuff like that. But at first it was just kind of like, you know, I refuse to be treated that way. I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to change the way I look.

And, you know, I'll show you type of thing. I always thought that people looked at me weird in airports, you know, when I got on a plane. Listen, if I'm sitting there and I'm high on a plane and I see a fat guy walking on a plane, I'm like, good luck. Just because I know what it is to be a fucking fat dude. Right. When I see a fat dude on Southwest, and he's got like a C number, that dude is going to ruin somebody's day.

He's going to get in the fucking middle seat at the end of the end. You're ready to break out your fucking hoagy. And you can feel it, or I could feel it when I was walking down the aisle. Yeah, no, you can feel it. You know, you're a big guy. And I could honestly tell you, I never felt discriminated against, but I felt, no, I felt weird sometimes around certain people just because of my own insecurities.

but I think that we do have a lot of fat people around you know and I was never I didn't start getting fat till later on I didn't get fat till you know every day I hear a buddy of mine growing up you know when I was lifting weights I'd always goof on them and he'd go wait to your 40 wait to your metabolism slows down I go you my metabolism ain't slowing down bitch you know one day you wake up and you're 260 and you're like ah

And then one day you wake up in your 300, and one day you wake up in your... You know, I did wake up at 4.18. I woke up one day. I remember going in for the longest yard and stepping on the scale of the doctor's office and being like 4'10 and going, what the fuck? I'm lying to you. The first time I went to the doctor for the physical, the scale only went up to 350. It was one of those circular ones.

And I remember him going, ah, you've got to be around 380. And then when I got to New Mexico was when the guy had the fucking cattle scale. And that was like 4-10 or something. I was like, when the fuck did this happen? And how did this happen? It happened so quick. It happened quickly.

And I remember coming back from the lonely shirt from New Mexico. And in New Mexico, I worked out a little bit, nothing. It wasn't really a workout. It was what a workout was in my mind, which was a lot better than most people. I would go and then do every body, It's not like the guy that goes in there and just do those curls and gets on the phone. I don't even bring my phone into the gym ever.

Jitsu, nothing. I don't believe I go in there. It's my hour. It's a good idea. I haven't been going to the Y the first time, and they paying for the Y and then signing up for the trainer program to give you two training sessions for free. And the guy going to get on the, not the elliptical, but the treadmill. And he put the thing on three. and I can only do two minutes

and I got to get off and he goes, listen, you got to quit smoking and you just got to walk around for now. Don't even come back here until you walk around for that. But that was possibly my turning point. Like that was when I was like, wow, I can only walk. I used to ride a bike across

George Washington Bridge and back and run and I can only do fucking three minutes. So when I met you and all those Braia nights, you were around 360 and then you disappeared. And that's when you said. Yeah, I just kind of became a recluse in a way where I had to get out of that life and just wasn't really going out or seeing a lot of my friends. And I had to be selfish and I had to work out.

I had to eat right. And you could still go out and hang out with friends, family, stuff like that. But it's one of those things where I didn't want to be influenced by other people. and be peer-pressured into, ah, come on, let's go get a pizza, you know, or let's go out. There's always an excuse. You know what I mean?

And you start compromising, and you're always going to do it. You know, you just got to kind of do your own thing. And, you know, your real friends and people that care about you will understand that. You know, they'll be in your life whether. And the rest will go away, son. And the rest will go away. Fuck them anyway. Yeah.

Now, what was your first diet? What was your first workout when you were at 360? First diet was I did paleo and I was doing, I signed up for jujitsu and boxing. And I was doing the paleo, which is basically all I was eating was steak and veggies. And I guess it wasn't really true paleo because I know they eat some other shit like nuts and whatever. But it was just steak, it was just meats and veggies. and I guess you can call it no carb or keto or something like that, but it was no carb.

I was doing jujitsu and I was just getting worked in jujitsu and boxing. I was just getting my ass kicked. I had no energy. I was losing the weight, but I was also very weak. You know, I didn't have the carbs to fuel my workouts. I was kind of just doing it wrong. I wasn't keeping track of what I was eating, how many calories, how many grams of protein, how many grams of carbs and fats and so on.

So I was just kind of going into it blindly, and I knew that that wasn't working, and it only lasted a couple of months. I lost maybe about 15, 20 pounds, you know. But then after that, I tried intermittent fasting because you could eat a little bit more, but you can only eat through a certain window. So, for example, if you have a six-hour eating window, you can eat, all your meals during that time, and you could be a little bit looser with your diet. You know, you can add some rice and some breads and, you know, all the taboo kind of carbs, you know.

But, yeah, I would just eat through this particular window, and I would do my workouts before that, though. I would do it in a fasted state, and you're supposed to burn more body fat that way. And it's a good way to get ripped, but I don't know, I think it kind of strips, strips you of whatever muscle you may have. Also, your energy level is going to be pretty low. Your insulin level is going to be pretty low. Your blood sugar is going to be low. So, you know, it doesn't work for everyone. It worked for me. It worked great. I actually use that for the majority of my weight loss until I got to about 230 pounds. So. And what's intermittent fasting? Break it down from it? Intermittent fasting is fasting. Fasting.

It's basically something along the lines of fasting for about 16 hours of the day. And usually people have an eight-hour eating window, but some people do six hours. Some people do four. And the idea is when you're not eating, I guess your growth hormone levels are naturally going to be higher. And you're going to be burning more fat. Your insulin levels are going to be low. Insulin is a fat-storing hormone. so your insulin level is going to be low.

So you're going to be kind of in that fat burning state longer. And so especially if you work out too. I mean, when you work out on an empty stomach, you're basically mobilizing all the fat to be used as energy. So you're going to be burning fat. And then once you eat after your workout, especially when you weight train, all the nutrients, all the carbs,

supposed to go directly to glycogen replenishment, go to your muscle stores, stuff like that. So it's basically burning fat on an empty stomach and then eating to refuel basically your depleted glycogen stores. Because somebody was telling me to get up in the morning, put sneakers on, and walk for an hour with nothing in your stomach. That's a good idea. It's fucking phenomenal for you.

You come back after an hour, you eat like a savage or you eat your minimal breakfast, but you got an hour. What is that hour walking with nothing in your stomach do for you? A lot of people, there's different schools of thought. I mean, that's something a little more old school that people do where they do cardio on empty stomach first thing in the morning. And it works great for a lot of people, but it's supposed to just burn off the stored energy that you have, which is your body fat, during that hour. Because you have nothing in your system. You have nothing, no nutrient circulating in your bloodstream.

You're not burning off breakfast or anything like that. You're just burning off your stored body fat. And that's okay if you're doing cardio. And that's okay if you're doing maybe 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour is kind of pushing it. But if you're going to wait train, you want to have a good, intense workout, you want to preserve lean muscle mass. Probably not going to want to do that on empty stomach. But cardio, I mean, a lot of professional bodybuilders, a lot of people do that to burn fat. and they swear by it and supposed to be really good for you.

Some people will maybe just have like a banana or a protein shake or something like that. You know, it really depends. At the end of the day, a lot of people think it's calories in versus calories out. So if your calories are, if you're burning more than you're taking in, it doesn't really matter when you do your cardio. That's what John thinks. you know that's my bodybuilding or our bodybuilding coach that's what that's kind of his school of thought is if you're burning more than you're taking in you're going to lose the weight

and so cardio he prefers you do it after you do weight training but uh you can basically do it any time and opposite so if you train in the mornings lifting weights you should do cardio in the evening opposite your usual training time is what he said Jess, but... Yeah, I mean, you could do that or right after your workout, which after your weight training workout, you're already kind of depleted your glycogen stores, so what's left is body fat basically to work off of. So they say that's a great time to do cardio as well, which is when I do my cardio.

I can't just wake up first thing in the morning and do that. I just, I'm really hungry when I wake up. I just can't function without anything in my stomach. So now you're 230 pounds Yeah When I was 230 pounds After intermittent fasting

And after Losing all the body fat I was Hold on one second I want to take you To go down from one 130 pounds I want to take it

It took about Ten months That's it That's fast Really fast And I kind of regret doing that Because I do have Some loose skin

In my stomach area And other areas stretch marks, stuff like that. Who knows if I would have had that anyway, but I know it definitely increased the chance or increased the likelihoodness that I was going to get the loose skin. Have you thought about getting the surgery, the hair for the loose skin?

Yes. In fact, I really want to do that very soon. It's scary, though. Like, I see, like, I watch, they have this show on TLC called My 600-pound Life, and Paul and I watch it. And, like, it's intense. They're ripping skin off of you. And, like, some people get really sick from it.

So, like, I was, I still have about 80 pounds left until I'm done losing weight. And I'm going to have a lot of loose skin, but I don't know if I'm going to go to have surgery to get rid of it. It seems like a lot of risk. Can you get rid of that loose skin? Oh, no. Yeah. Well, it is genetic. There's a lot of genetic factors to that.

Some people, they don't have loose skin when they lose a bunch of weight, even if they lose it really fast. But, I mean, most people do. And they say that you can kind of just, uh, weight, kind of give it some time. You know, you lose the weight, kind of maintained for like a few years, and it will eventually tighten up, but, you know, sometimes people never lose it. And for me, I'm pursuing bodybuilding, and for this first show, it didn't show much, but you could still see it.

And I know I probably got deemed a couple of points for the loose skin, so it's just something that I would definitely like to take care of. It's just, you know, I have a good physique, but then sometimes like when I bend over to pick something up, the loose skin kind of goes over my belt or, you know, it's just, it doesn't look right. It doesn't go with, it doesn't match everything. So that's a big reason why I just want to get rid of it. I have a weird question for you. Paul and I talk about it a lot. Like, when you're just doing your daily activities, do you feel any different than when you were three, six?

I felt the same as I do now when I was 315. I don't feel like I look that different. I don't notice it until I look at pictures. So when you're still walking around, are you still walk around like that 360? I'd still walk around like I'm 360 pounds. Yeah, I have that mentality. I don't know if it ever goes away or what if it gets better,

but I still feel very self-conscious. You know, it's still kind of tough for me to take my shirt off, as silly as it may sound. I just did a bodybuilding contest, but I'm very self-conscious and I have that mentality and I kind of feel like when other people are looking at me, kind of like they're judging me or maybe they still see the fat me or whatever. Yeah, it's weird. I was just talking to my girlfriend about that the other day and yeah, she's lost a lot of weight as well

and she still feels like that big girl. And yeah, I don't know if that's something I'll ever go away. it's a good reminder you know yeah it's a like if I ever looked like you looked I'd fucking wear a speedo all day oh my god

that's like my job I would I would I've never had like muscle like that's so cool but it's crazy I'm looking at you like you did it but you're still do you think maybe it's because we were fat as kids and like a little self-esteem

like Joey you had like really high self-esteem as a kid you were like a normal kid so maybe when you're maybe fucks you up when you're doing it as a kid. High self-esteem. I never had high self-esteem. Really? No, I just, I was really skinny, and I wanted to have muscles. You know, I was that guy that didn't kick sand in my face. I just wanted to be a little thicker. I used to take the, you know those slide doors that your parents have for closets? They have sliding doors. They wouldn't let me buy a bench, so I would take the sliding doors off and get two chairs

and get fucking those sand weights. And I'd, do bench presses and I have to hide them, take them off the bar, hide them, put the fucking thing back up. I loved everything about weight lifting. I enjoy it as a kid. You know, it was as an adult that they say, you know, you should stop lifting, you're going to hurt yourself, whatever, and then I stopped over the years. I just didn't have time for it. But for me now, it's become a ritual. You know, I put the iPod on, I smoke a few fucking hits, and I go to that YMCA at 10 people leaving as I'm getting in there. I get that bar. You know, I do, you know,

so it's just a, but you're at 2.30. And now you're like, I'm looking for something else. What am I looking for in my life? Maybe I should start throwing some weights and be fucking guerrilla monsoon. Yeah, I would always look at

fitness videos on YouTube and then, of course, in the related videos would be some bodybuilding videos. And the moment where I knew that wanted to be a bodybuilder was when I saw Jake Cutler who is a former Mr. Olympia, four-time Mr. Olympia

get on stage in 2009 after losing the title to Dexter Jackson, came back at his all-time best and just completely, completely just shocked everyone. Hands

down, just murdered everyone in that show. And, I mean, the guy put on size. I mean, the guy's already huge guy came in great condition and was just like the ultimate i told myself you know i want to i want to look like that and uh i want to be like that i want to go on stage and i just want to just rock the house like that and uh it's just something that uh that i didn't always want to do but i just saw the power and the the energy that uh was related with that and yeah i just I had to do it at that point.

I just, I had to at least try. And I didn't really pick a bodybuilding show at that point, but I started lifting. I started doing more bodybuilding-oriented exercises. I didn't hire John until this past August. So before then, it was just kind of like, you know, trial and error and just lifting and trying to watch what I eat. I started tracking things on my fitness pal, and I set certain macro goals, like certain amount of protein, certain amount of fat, certain amount of carbs. And it's funny, but after I got down to 230, I thought, okay, well, I'm going to eat chicken, brown rice, and broccoli, and I'm going to work out, right? And I ended up gaining 30 pounds of fat just by eating those foods.

and I did that in two months. So I actually went up to about 260 and just, you know, eating quote unquote clean. How much chicken and rice were you eating? I was eating probably about seven or eight meals a day. Oh my God. Damn. Yeah.

You know, and I always heard, well, you got to eat every few, you know, two, three hours. I have about eight ounces of chicken. I have about a half a cup of brown rice and some broccoli, you know. That must fuck you up when, like, you gain 60 pounds eating healthy. Right. Like, when you eat 60 pounds at McDonald's, you're like, okay, like, you thought you were eating healthy. Like, fuck, I gained 60 pounds. What made you gain the 60 pounds?

What was that fucking food? It was, I just started, like, looking up a bodybuilder or bodybuilding diets, and a lot of these guys would eat chicken, brown rice, and broccoli. So I thought, okay, I'm going to do that. And I didn't know that, you know, your body can only take in a certain amount of calories before, you know, before, you know, you start getting fat. I mean, just to maintain, you need a certain amount. You've got to do that with trial and error. Were you eating fried chicken?

No, I wasn't. I wish I was. That would have been worth it. That's what I would do. I'd be like, all right, it's still chicken. Well, like a body-built breakfast, like a cup of yogurt, some fucking peanuts, you know, some skin almond milk or something like that. And then for lunch, you have the chicken and a little cup of brown rice and the broccoli.

and then for dinner you probably have the same. How many fucking chicken breasts were you eating a day? I was eating at least six. I was eating at least six chicken breasts, eight ounces a day. And I actually do that now, but my metabolism is so much faster, and I have so much more muscle mass to actually feed that. I'm actually doing the right thing now. But then I didn't really have the muscle or the metabolism or anything like that.

So I was just, I thought, okay, well, if I eat healthy, if I eat chicken, brown rice and broccoli, I'm going to, I'm just going to stay healthy. I'm going to gain muscle, but I didn't think I was going to gain weight that fast, and I didn't think it was going to be just mostly fat. So it took some, you know, trial in there. That's when I knew I was like, okay, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing in terms of bodybuilding. So I had to seek out a coach. And, you know, that's where I was. I learned that it's called I-I-F-Y-M if it fits your macros is basically my coach's style of eating or having his clients eat.

And that's, you have a certain amount of protein, certain amount of fat, certain amount of carbs that you eat each day. And for the most part, you know, you want you to eat whole food, stuff like that. But, I mean, you can add in, you know, play a Pop-Tart in the morning or, you know, maybe some ice cream. As long as it fits, it fits. You know, it doesn't have to be boring, bland, chicken, brown rice, broccoli, stuff like that. So I basically learned that by eating healthy, quote unquote, healthy, you can still get fat. And then by eating all these, you know, bad foods, you can actually get ripped.

I mean, I got down to about 6% body fat. And I was eating Captain Crunch and candy corn up until the day of the show, you know. Do you know what percentage body fat you were when you were 360? No, 360. But do you have a 6%? When I was 410, I was 4.10, you know what I'm saying? There's no percentage. You're a fat thought.

Yeah, you're a fat thought. I mean, there's no two ways about it. Now, what's a macro? A macro is a macro nutrient. It's basically the, there's three macro nutrients, protein, carbs, fats is what your body needs. to, I guess, fuel itself. I mean, technically your body doesn't need carbohydrates,

but you definitely need proteins and fats in order to properly function. So each person is different. Each person has different metabolism, different needs. So in terms of building muscle or maintaining muscle, you need a certain amount of protein per day. You do need a certain amount of fat for proper hormone function. And then carbs, I mean, some people go no carbs,

but some people actually do better with higher fats, higher protein, and zero carb than they do with higher carb, moderate protein, moderate fat. So it really depends on, you know, your body type and, you know, what works for you. But those are the three things that basically fuel you. And carbs, for the most part, are your energy source. Protein is like building blocks for muscle and other things. and like I said, fats are just kind of hormone function and just other functions as well.

But, you know, carbs, we all love carbs, right? Now, what's the between white rice and brown rice? Like, I've been eating wild rice and brown rice combined. It's not fucking bad. It's not bad. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, and the brown rice ain't fucking bad. You know, they need some beans.

The brown rice, couple fucking black beans, let it settle a little bit. It ain't fucking bad. I got to talk my wife until that. What between white rice, like pasta and whole grain pasta? It's basically, I guess, just a fiber, more fiber. More fiber. So it's a cleaner carb.

Yeah, it's quote-unquote cleaner. There's usually more vitamins and more fiber and stuff like that with the brown rice and the whole grains and stuff like that. But, I mean, to be honest, it's not like your body can, it's not like your body has this mechanism where it says, okay, well, this is a clean carb. and this is a dirty carb. Now, there are certain insulin responses. If you eat simple sugars, you're going to spike your insulin. You're going to get a bunch of energy all at once, and then you're going to crash. And so people usually don't go that route.

That's why they like the whole grains. It's more of like a steady type of energy. You're not going to just get all hyped up and then crash. What about salami? Salami dutu a motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? I love salami, man. but unfortunately there's a very high fat content. I haven't had salami in the house in months,

and American cheese and ham, and it fucking kills me at night, you understand? I fucking love it. My wife bought it over the holiday salami, and we kept in the house for like a week. I'd take like two slices a night with a crack. I hold you over, you know what I'm saying? It just tunes you up.

I don't need much at night. Like when I was 20, I'd go out and smoke dope. I need a cheese motherfucker burger deluxe. Cheese burger with cheese fries. with mozzarella on those motherfuckers and some chicken gravy, some disco fries. I hate cheese burgers without cheese. No, cheeseburger. I'm sorry.

Cogsucker, right? Maybe double cheese. But now, at night, when I get stoned, I don't need to eat much. Really? But can you eat an apple? I mean, I like eating two apples at night, but they're like a lot of carbohydrates. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of myths, too,

with eating, and that's one of those late night. You know, don't eat anything before bedtime or close to bedtime or else. you know, it's just going to magically turn in the fat, but it's completely false. I mean, like I said, it depends on your macro count for the day. So if you've already had a lot of carbs throughout the day and you have a couple apples at night, it could put you over the top. It's probably not going to lose weight for the day.

But if you haven't had your total carb allowance, then, yeah, a couple apples or whatever you want. I mean, within reason at night you can have. It's not just going to sit there and turn in the fat and like a lot of people think. Now, how do you spike your metabolism? You keep talking about after you were 230, you went up to 260. Were you working on spiking you? How do you spike your metabolism by eating? Some people say you drink water when you get up to get the engine going

and you go out and do cardio just to straighten this fucking met out. Yeah, a lot of people, the way they increase their metabolism, and what I do is, or what I was doing, was first thing in the morning, you know, you can have a little something to eat or on an empty stomach, you do some cardio, whether it be 30 minutes or an hour. That's going to get your metabolism going right off the bat. Then after that, you're going to want to. What if you eat Captain Crunch? Just a little fucking bowl, just so you don't pass out on the elliptical. You're down and you do 45 minutes.

Does that work, too? That's what I do. Yeah, I do that. I can't see X. I get dizzy. If I get in the fucking car and I don't eat, that's like 30 minutes I get dizzy. I got to pull over and puke.

I got to go home and sleep the rest of the fucking day. I can't imagine jumping up and down with weights and shit on an empty stomach. I don't even want to take the fucking chance. It's amazing the things you do, like I would wake up. Like, you know, they say now, you got to eat breakfast. I would do coke. I would wake up. I didn't want fucking breakfast.

I wouldn't eat nothing until like 5 o'clock. No wonder you get to be a fat fuck. Because, but now you get up and you're supposed to kick your metabolism. metabolism open and eat something right away. You know, I used to drink soda for fucking breakfast. That's like death. That's like instant death because a can of Coke like a red can, fuck diet. That's what pussy's in the morning.

If you're going to bang out in the, listen, you want to live like a doctor, you open up a can of Coke and a Marlboro Red and open that motherfucker without brushing your teeth, then come talk to me right there. Those guys live till whatever. But I would have like a can of Coke, and I heard that's the worst thing I'm going to be. in the world because it just makes your body crave sugar the rest of the day when you open up with a fucking Coke and a butter roll. Well, it's about 40 to 50 grams of sugar depending on the size. And, you know, it's going to give you that crazy energy rush. And then it's going to drop your blood sugar, which you're going to crave some more sweets

to kind of get your energy back up. I mean, it's just like a natural process where your body's going to crave that energy, that quick energy because it took a dive so far. fast. So, yeah, that pretty much explains it. But yeah, I mean, you do want to have a lot of carbs when you wake up in the morning. That's when you're really carb sensitive because you've been fasting during your sleep. And so it really depends on your schedule. If you work out first thing in the morning or if you're just going to head off to work or you're just going to, you know, lounge around, it really depends. But you should have the majority of your carbs first thing in the morning

before you work out and after you work out. Now, John wants 33% of your carbs before the workout or before you leave the house? I think he wants 30% or around 30% before and after your workout. And then at other times, it's really up to you. But my personal belief is breakfast, pre-workout, and post-workouts when you really need your carbs. You're not going to eat it at night when you're just kind of hanging out. you're not going to need any kind of energy at that moment. You know, I mean, you can have different forms of carbs,

but you're going to need more like fast digesting and the bulk of your carbs, pre-workout, post-workout, first thing in the morning. Do you still enjoy food? It just seems like it's so, like, scientific to you. Like, I can't imagine just eating chicken and rice and broccoli for 80 straight meals. I mean... I do. I enjoy it very much.

In fact, leading up into my contest, I had a couple. couple of, uh, a couple of binges where I got a little, uh, got a little scared because I just kept eating, uh, like candy and stuff like that. And I just, the button just wouldn't turn off. And I just kind of eat for an hour or two. But my metabolism was so fast at the time. It just, it really didn't do anything. I didn't, it may have halted my progress for the day or two, but it didn't really cause any kind of crazy weight gain. But yeah, I mean, I, I struggle. I still struggle. with food and cravings and stuff like that. Not so much right now, but pre-contest, yeah,

that's when your metabolism is just revving. And, you're craving everything in the book, you know? I had a, you know, I was thinking about doing the surgery. They called you, that got approved. So I got to call the doctor back with a date, and then he's going to call me, and I'm going to talk to him, we get on the scale, whatever. I don't really want to do that.

fucking thing, you know. But I went to a couple meetings, and I did learn a few things from the meetings. And, you know, there's something about us, especially us guys, you know, not this fucking skinny fuck over this, and that. This guy could eat fucking in and out right now and lose weight.

Yeah, he really could, yeah. You know, I love you, but there's just people who could eat whatever the fuck they want, and there's something. You know, my thing didn't get, I didn't get you know, heavier until I'm at my 30s. Let's get something straight that Lee has a problem with. I had a problem with. And I know Curtis has a problem with or had. It's the mind of a fatty.

Listen, Curtis, I'm going to look you in the face and tell you, there's some chick calls me right now, right now. And it says, I'm going to suck your dick with a fucking peanut in your hole and take the allergies away from the next fucking child. That's a good call. Right? Or I'm going to make you the best two lobsters you've ever had. I'm going to make your chicken cutlet, parmesan. Like, you like it. I got dessert here for you. You know, bro. most American young guys would go, they wouldn't even think of the food. I'm the type of guy that would think if I had a joint in the fucking car.

Like if I got a joint in the car, I'm going to eat. I get a blow job anytime. But a chef to make that form, that's the mind of that. When I wake up in the morning, I, yeah, I have my day in my mind. But I'm also playing on my menu as I'm pissing in the fucking shower.

As the shampoo's in my head and I'm pissing in that hole, I'm thinking about the egg I'm going to have for breakfast. Planning the menu is the best. And the potato. We plan the menu. We all do.

We fantasize. This fucking guy, he was going for him and his girlfriend, 30 days, 90 days on the diet. They lost 80 pounds together. And they, you know, I tortured them. But in my mind,

I know the mind of a fatty. They went to, what, some barbecue wings. They went to pizza rev and something else. All in the row, like disgusting motherfuckers.

Okay, let me set it up from a less high person. So we lost like 70, 80 pounds each. We started in June. It was for Valentine's Day. And we used to love to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. We used to love getting a... What was it? Oh, BJs?

In and out. And BJ is the fucking cookie. The cooking. So that was all the stuff that we missed. So after losing 80 pounds, that's what we did for Valentine's Day. But, oh my God. Especially when I'm high. That sent me, I probably would have lost 40 more pounds if it wasn't for this stuff.

Because I'll go home from nights like this and I'll have two, three dinners. It's just crazy. At the end of the day, us three have the mind of a fatty. Always. And that's the first switch before the diet kicks in. That was the main thing. And then some people, you fight the mind of the fatty. Some people just go, like me, listen, I've had a million chicken colors.

I've had them by people that can't even speak the language, the shitty ones. You know, how many more chicken colors do I need? How many more my drug a choice? Besides getting my dick sucked and cocaine, my third drug of choice, is New York superfudge chunk. You just take the whole thing and let it melt a little bit. While you roll the joint, you leave it on the stove. Like your wife cooked dinner, but you just put it on the stove when it's still warm,

you roll that fucking number, you heat that motherfucker up, you have like bullets over Broadway or something on HBO because that's the mind of the fatty the fatty will throw the movie in to trick you to eat something while I have to eat something lethal weapons on how the fuck am I not gonna eat printers on you know what I'm saying fucking that

the original longest yard is on what the fuck you mean you ate that pizza for fuck I thought you that was leftovers that's the mind of a fatty and that's what we have to switch first once that switch is gone and thought I had to work on it. I lived in Jersey where, you know, at two in the morning, guys,

I could look you in the face and go, we'd go to the Greek diner and have a cheeseburger deluxe and an open steak sandwich, the best you've ever had. Or we're eight minutes from New York City. We'd go to China time. That's a fuck. That's why I left New York City. People always go, do you leave because of a warrants?

I left because of availability of two things that would kill me. Drugs and food. They would kill me. If I could go to you to New York, you want a Cuban saying? Victor's Cafe is open to 5. Last time I was in Victor's Cafe, Roberto Durand walked in with lines of coke in his nose.

His nose was fucking pale white, like somebody had just put paper in his nose with a suit on, with blood on it, going to get food at 5 in the morning after like a 3-day fucking binge. That's me. If I come to your house at 5, this is the mind of a fatty.

This is the mind of a fatty. If I knock on your door at 3 in the morning, and I go, Curtis, open the fucking door. me, Joe, eat three in the morning. Get the fuck out of you. Curtis, I brought tacos from King Taco, the chichirong with potato. You would actually fucking open the door

and Tommy I'm a cunt, but you're lucky you brought the tacos over. Come on in, you bring rolling papers too. I got no rolling paper. That's the mind of a fatty. That's what we have. That's the worst disease we have. Yes.

You know, when I talk to you, when I wake up in the morning, I know my menu, your wife has come up to you and go, I'm going to Rouse. What do you want from Rouse? What the fuck do I know? It's two years. I know what I want today.

Tomorrow, I don't know. When I wake up tomorrow, I smoke that joint. That's when that flavor is going to come in my mouth. Ooh, some fucking meatloaf with mozzarella in there with some fucking mashed potatoes and some cream. Oh, nice. That's the mine. Oh, yeah, some cream corn, though.

Yeah. Not just regular corn? That's for amateurs. Put the cream in there. We're fatty's your fuck. That's what we're talking about. Anybody can eat cream corn. You can join the Marine to go to prison and get regular corn.

I'm talking about cream corn. That's what fat people do. Isn't that just in camps on the? Shelf? Who gives a fuck? You put butter and salt on that motherfucker and it's you know magic. You dope up cream corn with some fucking pepper and some butter. And you give me shit for hummus. Huh? You give me shit for liking hummus.

Listen, please. Don't get me started, but I'm having a nice time to carry the seat. Yeah, you're right. I mean, uh, yeah, my goal each and every day is just to not gain weight. And I'm just trying to maintain at the moment, but it's so easy for me to gain weight. I mean, I just, uh, I look at food you know and I put weight on and it's good if I'm trying to put muscle on but it doesn't always just go to your muscle you know and it's one of those things where I like I said the goal right now is to not gain weight each day and to not go ape shit and you know get a pizza like I I want to eat pizza every day you know I want to eat chocolate cake and fucking chocolate milk and you know donuts and all that shit if you can wake up with no guilt what would be here right there. deal menu. Kick it. Breakfast.

Ideal. I'm going to ask you too, Lee. Look at Lee. He's turning pale right now. Hit me. What's your ideal fucking day? The real deal. You don't smoke weed? Occasionally. If somebody has a bone, you'll fucking... How are you feeling over there? I'm fucked up. I didn't

talk to you, cock suck. I'm talking to our guest. I don't get a fuck about you. My goal... Thank you. So you want another piece? You can't walk on one leg. You can't. What's your ideal day, Todd? Hit me. Ideal breakfast would definitely be crispy cream donuts. Jesus Christ.

You know, just the whole box of the original glazed. That's easy, too. Those are light, delicious. Yeah, I mean, I could easily eat the whole fucking box, too. Or, you know, go to a pancake house, get a bunch of fucking chocolate chip pancakes, some crispy bacon, you know, maybe a bowl of chili, maybe like five eggs over easy. you know, hash browns, all that. This is with the crispy donuts?

Yeah, I mean, you know. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it could be at the same time or maybe just wait a little bit and have round two for breakfast. I mean, yeah, that's what I really want for breakfast. Lunch. Lunch? Lunch would be, I would have to say pizza. It would just have to be pizza from Pizza Mania in Woody.

Jesus Christ. I mean, Orgondolas and Lomarado. It's probably the best pizza I've ever got. What do you get, pineapple, and pepperoni? I get pepperoni, sausage, olive, extra sauce. Extra sauce? A couple wings while you're there? Yeah, get some wings, too.

Get some barbecue wings or, you know, maybe the mild ones, you know, with some, maybe some ranch. No blue cheese. Take those cheese chunks out of that motherfucker. What's the snack, afternoon snack? You had lunch, it's 3.30, you smoke a half of bone, you go to your buddy's house. Oh, this is going to kill me tonight, man. Have a snack? I would say this snack. Probably some nachos.

Make some nachos with, I always like velvita cheese. Oh, Jesus. You know, I can't do the regular cheese. There's just something special about the velvita cheese. I was a king in high school of tortilla chips with just like the shredded cheddar or Mexican blend that you put on top. I do like six layers of them. Oh my God. Dinner. Dinner. Probably lasagna or

lasagna or maybe some enchiladas somewhere. But either Mexican or Italian. Now one question fully real quick. This whole bodybuilding world, fat losing world, Mexican menus offer nothing for that world, correct? Amundo? If you're trying to lose weight, Mexicans don't have anything that's fat-free.

Nothing. I've thought white watches, you go to the Mexican check, then it just has a skull and two bones. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, you can always maybe get some carnia soda or, you know, some chicken, and maybe some beans and rice, not the refried beans, but maybe just some, even the rice. The rice, the Mexican rice is a killer.

They put butter, it's eight, I think it's eight points for a half a cup for Weight Watch. Lee, your ideal fuck. day breakfast, hit it. All right. The truth. I agree with the chocolate-tip pancakes and bacon. Or I love fast food. Like, that's going to be a lot of mine.

If you could get, like, an egg sandwich, but I like McDonald's hash browns. Like, they're crispy. I don't like the potatoes growled up their hash browns. Those aren't hash browns. I like to take the hash brown and put it in the sandwich. That's my breakfast. Juice.

Soda. I love Diet Coke with breakfast. But, no. If it's my ideal, orange juice. All right, lunch. While we're young. Yeah, I'll say, go to the counter. A nice burger place.

Get, like, a nice cheeseburger with bacon, egg on top, fries. That's pretty good. Snack, first one of the day. I really like those nach. I used to do those notches all the time. Like I said, like, maybe, like, chocolate chip cookies or cheese-its. Cheez-its for my shit. I don't cheese.

I don't cheese. Chinese food General's chicken With some dumplings and an egg roll And then you've got to have some dessert Late night Peanut M&Ms or just a peanut butter sandwich I love peanut butter like just

Two pieces of wheat bread with a peanut butter on each side And it's just that same oh Ideal food for Uncle Joe Are you ready? Okay breakfast two eggs sunny side up Two three four five pieces of white bread with heavy-duty butter on those motherfuckers. Three, four pieces of bacon and some potatoes fried to the max

with Frank's hot sauce on it. Oh, nice. All right? And some juice and maybe a can or two of Coca-Cola. All right. Fucking lunch, I got to do pork fried rice, heavy-duty, shrimp and lomsa sauce, two egg rolls, couple appetizers, and fucking three or four cans of Coke.

That's life right there. Maybe at the end, a glass of water, just to clean out the digestive tract. The first snack of the day, what the f-salami and American cheese sandwich on white with mustard. What kind of mustard? Yellow, white people mustard. The bland shit. No, you don't even need the spicy mustard.

For dinner, maybe six or seven fried chicken colors, breaded with mashed potatoes, with fucking tons of butter in it, salt and pepper, some cream corn, and some fucking cranberry juice with, some club soda over ice cubes. You understand me going deep. And after you get home at night, my night, this is what I could settle for. This is my ideal day. A nice thin vanilla shake at night right before you hit the crib like a doctor

with some fucking briars ice cream with the black little dotting it. But the truth, my late night the dish, open steak sandwich on white bread, with little butter on the bread, with the gravy from the steak, dripping on the bread,

over motherfucking steak, You understand me? With a cream of turkey soup to open up And a milkshake on the way out That's Uncle Joey's Fucking utopia right there That's my utopia If I could find the bar that would serve

To 2.30s when I get the irk in for a nice steak Anybody could go to sleep with a fucking Hot Cocoa Or a fucking Let me get the tea, the Grey Poupon, listen bitch In this fucking house We're doing a fucking tea

bone. You know, I grew up in a Cuban house, and my mom would come home at three and go, you hungry, and within 30 minutes there'd be a four-course fucking meal, you know. And you eat that shit, and there's only one way to go is to bed. You eat one of those meals at three in the morning. There ain't no fucking exercise or burning glycogen or nothing. You're hitting glycogen after that one pull of the fucking helmet. Because you're a good whacking off after a good meal late night.

Like at four and a one, you close that door, wait until your mom closes her door. You put that little lock on your door and take that playboy on, you beat that dick up for 20 minutes and shit. You get that little diabetic rush and shit. It's all over. Lee, fuck it. You can't walk on one leg. All right, snow now.

Oh, my gosh. You hook up with John. It's August. What's the first competition you're looking at? So the first one I was looking at was the Gold Coast Championship in February. this past February, but John didn't think I'd be ready for that. He likes to take his time. He doesn't like to crash diet people.

He likes to, he's shooting for about one to two pounds of fat loss per week. So he just didn't think I'd be ready. And so I said, okay, how about the San Diego Championships in March? And he said, okay, I think we could probably do that. And, yeah, from there, I mean, I, You know, looking back on it, I don't know how I got into such amazing shape so fast. I mean, I started out at about 19% body fat in August and got down to about 5 to 6 on the day of the show. And, yeah, it was, it was crazy.

What was your training regimen at first? At first, it was. it was a combination of upper and lower basically strength training days and then take a day off maybe do some cardio like some high intensity cardio on that day also do cardio on the upper and lower days and then the other three days that I would lift for the remaining of the week would be more kind of like time under tension so you'd kind of do like slower movements so you would you do slow negatives on the way down and then explosive movements on the way up. So concentric, eccentric, eccentric.

So basically, I guess you can call them like polishing off kind of movements, you know, going for the pump, stuff like that. And it worked great. That program is an awesome program that John came up with, I guess, or maybe, you know, mastered. But yeah, it definitely worked for me. I was doing a program similar to that before I started with him. So it's just the full upper body and the full lower.

That's pretty tough. I mean, you'll be able to him. So the upper on Monday and the lower on Tuesday. And then a day off for cardio and then Thursday again and Friday again and two days off. It would be Thursday would be back and shoulders. Friday would be legs, just not going as heavy. And then Saturday would be chest and arms. So you would hit each body part twice in that week.

But one day you're doing it really heavy. You're really lifting heavy, kind of lower sets, lower reps. And then the second time you do it, you're doing higher sets, higher reps. And, of course, lower weight. But it's, yeah, it works. You know, it's just, I think it's the combination. of the different muscle fibers you have and how lifting heavy you're going to you're going to promote that growth, that muscle growth, and then kind of when you lift lighter but more reps,

it's just more of getting blood in the muscle. And I guess you're still stimulating growth, but it's more of kind of a fat burning movement at that moment. But I don't know, whatever it is, whatever the exact science is, it fucking works. So you did that, you want to. From 260 to what at this point? So I went from 260, basically between August and the day of the show. Well, between August and February, I went down 30 pounds, so I went down to about 230.

But I was getting way too, I was getting way too flat, way too small. So I started eating a little bit more. I mean, I was on maybe about 100 grams of carbs a day, you know, and I was lifting pretty heavy, and I was in cardio eight days a week, or eight times a week. So one of the days would be two cardio sessions and a weightlifting session. So John was really having me, I mean, he was killing me. And I said, I kind of took things into my own hands towards the end, and I just started kind of feeding myself a little bit more.

And I did what a lot of bodybuilders do and they kind of grow into their show. So they'll be ready a few weeks before the show. They'll drop all the fat they need to drop. And then they'll start incorporating like more carbs into the mix and you kind of fill out your muscles and you get a little bit bigger and fuller on the day of the show. And that's what I did. And he doesn't know that. But I had to take things in my own hands because I feel at the end of the day,

you know your body better than anyone else. What you know, combined with his knowledge, mixed, somewhere in the middle, it'll work out for you. Now, you have a posing coach, a diet coach, John has diet and strength conditioning, but you also have a posing coach. You have a posing coach. His name is Stevie Rivera. He works at Elite Fitness Zone in the city of Orange. He's a former Mr. California.

And he's just an amazing. amazing posing coach. I mean, I can't dance. I have no rhythm, anything like that. I came in there stiff as hell, probably about seven weeks out, and he worked with me, and I had a pretty good routine out of it, pretty fluid, and I had some rhythm up there, and, you know, really kind of polished me off in terms of my posing, so I'm thankful for that. I mean, it's just, it's amazing all the different kind of coaches and things that you need for, to do a bodybuilding show. So I had John, which was my nutrition and basically weightlifting coach. I had a posing coach.

I also, I'd get massages, you know, so I'd have this lady that would give me a massage every week. You know, nothing extra, nothing like that. But just I would go tan. What do you get graded on, I guess, when you're bodybuilding? Like, what are you trying to improve? One of the most important things is symmetry. So you kind of want everything to be even. You want both sides of your body to match up.

So you don't want like, you don't want your biceps to be the biggest thing on you. And it doesn't match up with your triceps and your shoulders and your chest. You kind of want everything to be proportion. And then conditioning. When you step on stage, you want to be no more than like 6%, 7% body fat. And then, of course, you want to be big, too. So you want to be big proportion and shape. And then, of course, tan and posing and all that stuff comes into play, too.

But today it's more of a size game, conditioning. The athletes in the sport today, they're kind of lacking in their conditioning. They're just mass monsters. What do you mean when you say conditioning? Because when you hear, when you're watching a football game, you think conditioning or at UFC, and they don't have like the energy to do to fight or to play the game why do you need so much energy like for this i understand why you're working out but during the competition like how can they tell uh what i mean by conditioning is like how condition the muscle i guess looks so yeah just the appearance of it because

bodybuilders in all reality really aren't the greatest athletes i mean for example i went on a run yesterday I could barely, I could barely run. I mean, I was huffing and puffing. And right now, I mean, I'm probably at about 9, 10% body fat at the most. And I could barely run. I mean, my cardio, it's just different forms of cardio. You know, bodybuilders are definitely not performance athletes. You know, it's just, there's just certain ways to get your body fat super low. And bodybuilders know how to do that, but it's, it's, in terms of actual energy and performance and stamina and stuff like that. It's very lacking. Well, the muscles need a lot of oxygen

to keep those motherfuckers alive. Like, what's his name? What was the black guy in the UFC that came out killing motherfuckers? Alexander. Remember a guy from Oklahoma? Black guy like fucking Ken Norton. He came out. But he would gas out by the second

fucking round. A lot of the big guys because it takes a lot of oxygen. It takes a lot to keep those muscles fucking going. So And you look at a guy like Curtis And you're like, oh, he could probably run 10 miles And he's saying he's huffing and puffing In the same way you would probably huff and puffed.

Right. Because even the weight, when I run, I huff and fucking puffed. Because, yeah, the weight. I've done the elliptical almost six days a week probably since June. And if I have to run to catch a train or like a subway, I'm hot. You still? Yeah, nothing.

Well, everything requires different conditions. Right. When you kickbox. But you think you're. running when you're going. Yeah, you think. I remember I used to kickbox at the place, and I was like, oh my God, I'm doing rounds. Like, I'm doing three-minute rounds

and a minute breathing, going back and doing and all of a sudden I went to Jiu-Jitsu, and I thought I was going to fucking die. Yeah. Like, I thought I was going to fucking die. Like, everything, you know, boxers have tremendous cardio. Oh, yeah. But they go on their back and shit, and it's a complete different fucking game.

And you have to keep going to build that endurance up. You have to, you know, so everything. But once you get to that condition, for that one. Like, you could be, I think the best conditioning for me would be if I could, like, roll 10, five-minute fucking rolls, which I would have a heart attack. But I guarantee if I went to play basketball, I would gas out after two or three win-sprints. What sport do you think was the hardest to train for, like the hardest during practice?

For me as a child? Yeah, or anytime. It depends. I had a freshman basketball coach that the first four weeks. weeks of practice, you didn't see a basketball. Oh, yeah, it's a conditioning. He just made you fucking running around like a gorilla, like defense, like with your hands touching the floor,

and he taught you defense and win sprints. You know, you have guys that believe, and, you know, if I was a football, yeah, conditioning's going to win the fucking game. In the fourth quarter, who's going to win the game? The guys aren't breathing, everything. They don't have their hands on their heads that don't have their hands on their waist. Right.

So that's what you go for. To me, what I thought was the hardest. What I saw was wrestling. I saw those kids in my wrestling high school. They ran stairs for two fucking hours. You leave to practice football, they'd be running. You come back, then they're running. Then they'd start wrestling, and the room would be 200 fucking degrees.

I'd quit. I don't need to say I'd run in fucking stairs. I walk up and down these motherfuckers all day with books of my hand. I was never good, but I wrestled for six years. I've been going back and forth. I think football is harder for me. I only played one year. I played freshman year high school.

And those like, before, like, those summer workouts went and, like, it was just those killed. Like, those drills with those pads, I think was worse than wrestling, at least for me. That's tremendous. Yeah, yeah. I would agree with you grappling, like, Jiu-Jitsu was definitely, Jiu-Jitsu and boxing were the toughest sports that I've ever tried to master. Are you still Jiu-Jitsu on? No, I haven't for, I haven't for about maybe a year and a half, but I was training almost every day.

And I loved it. I was just getting nagging, these nagging, like, elbow injuries and shoulders, you know. Some guy will try to do a fucking Americana on you and really crank your arm, you know. And you just, you get fucked up in that sport. And, I mean, it's really fun. And, I mean, you're a bad motherfucker. after you've done it for a few months and you kind of get your wind and you get some skills. I mean, the greatest feeling was choking a guy out for the first time, you know, rolling.

But, I mean, it just kind of eats away at you, at your joints, you know. I mean, I was 30 years old when I first started, so there's a lot of young guys in the class. A lot of young guys. I go twice a week. That's all my body can handle. With the lifting and the kettle, it's fucking tough. It's tough. It's really tough.

I mean, I really enjoy it. Hopefully one of these days I can get back into it, maybe kind of, you know, ease back into it. Boxing was really, I mean, I couldn't spar for more than a minute, you know. I mean, that boxing, you're getting hit, you know, and you're throwing punches, and it's just very taxing, very taxing. So those are definitely the toughest, the toughest sports that I have ever done. And I've played basketball in high school. I'm a black belt in Taekwondo.

I've trained for certain runs and, you know, weightlifting, bodybuilding, stuff like that, and jujitsu and boxing are definitely the toughest. Or, you know, MMA basically would be the toughest sport, I'd say. Now this contest, how much did it mean to this is your first fucking contest? Were you nervous? Yeah, I was nervous. I was very nervous, actually. but I just felt like the closer I got to the contest, the more support that I had.

I had no idea all the people that were kind of following me on Facebook and Instagram. I was really interested. I was like, wow, this guy's looking. Just the story is great. 360, 2.30. You're in a bodybuilding contest. At that point, don't matter, even if you're fucking placed, even if you're coming last. You know, it's just doing what you did.

That was mind-boggling to me. I love all this shit. I love when, you know, we live in a country right now that's fat, but at the other side, we're lazy. You know, how many times you go to the gym and you see a guy that's trying to lose away? He ain't doing nothing. No.

He's dicking around. He's doing a couple of bench presses, and you want to say something, but then you're like, it's on my fucking business. I'm struggling, too. But it's really weird when you learn how to work out. And when you learn what works for your body, and you start shedding the pounds.

And you're like, get that momentum going and it just starts coming off so fast yeah um it's it was an unbelievable transformation because i never thought in a million years i would look the way i looked i mean i was always hopeful and i saw glimpses of potential and i had like i said hopes and dreams and stuff like that and i was confident but i just i really had no idea i mean i always carried a lot of fat like in my chest and my stomach. I never had a six-pack in my life. I never thought I could get one. And I ended up getting one, except for like the lower part. I did have some loose skin, but, you know, what are you going to do about that? And then my chest, I always had, you know, what they would

call man boobs my whole life. And then all of a sudden, the closer I got to the show, it just started kind of shaping up until like a nice, well-rounded chest. I never thought in a million years. I always thought, you know, I'd have to get some surgery or, you know, I had to get like some fucking body sculpting or something like that. And you have a day job? Yeah. And you're also in school trying to get a master's degree. Yeah.

And I'm a full-time student pursuing my master's degree in sports, exercise, psychology. And I have a girlfriend and, you know, family. You know, I live with my dad. And, yeah, I mean, I have a lot going on. There's a lot of shit going on. So it's not the easiest thing to do to prep for a bodybuilding contest when you have to go to work and then you got to go to school. You know, you got to, you have no energy for anything, you know, and then you got to write a report

or you got to deal with some customer at work or, you know, your girlfriend wants to go out, you know, she wants to do things, you know, and it's like your energy is just not there. It's tough. You get spread really thin, really thin, but. People always send me emails. I answer emails on Sundays, and people always ask me, you know, man, when are you going to have a listener come on the fucking show, whatever?

I know you're not a listener, but I knew you years ago, and I got to tell you something, I'm really proud of you, and I wanted to put you on the show because people always bitch, bro. You know, people always bitch about what they can't sacrifice

and they could and what they can't. And look at all this shit you do. This is your first contest, and you pull a fifth overall, and second in your weight class. Yeah. You know, you could do anything. People could fucking do anything.

And it's amazing once you put your mind. Like I said, once we realize we've got the mind of a chubby, let's turn that off, let's switch it a little bit. Instead of waking up and wanting a cheese sandwich, let's not think about the menu. Let's think about fucking getting my dick sucked or smoking a joint. Something different, you know. And then going to the gym is something completely different.

Like walking into a gym when you're fat, I've been doing it for the last 10 years. it's embarrassing for a minute and then you get like this edge of respect. People like, hey man, you know what? You're in here. They don't have to say it to you. Every once in a while you get some dickhead that walks around like he did

three pushups. Who gives a fuck? I'm talking about the, when people see you, they go, hey man, so what? You came in here with a fucking tishina and you got big titties and you know, you smell like fucking ice cream and bacon. You know, because when you're on that treadmill, you could smell the food coming out of your fucking

paws. Ice cream and bacon. That's what fat people eat. They think they're at home eating celery sticks and fucking fucking, you know, nobody sweats out fucking celery sticks and fucking granola. You know, fat people smell out like ice cream and chocolate and fucking peanut

butter and fun shit, you know. You smell a fat dude's neck by like 7 o'clock and see what it smells. You don't smell like dirt or sweat. It smells like fucking the 7-Eleven canning counter. Like when you walk on the fucking counter, minus the fucking dude behind the counter. Hold on one second.

Let me give some shout out to you. Oh, my God. I know you guys got a long ride back. What, cock's sucker? A man's neck. Yeah, you smell a fat. I used to, bro, I remember when I was 400 pounds, like when I was doing blow, after I got clean and I started exercising, I was throwing away shirts one day.

And I found a bunch of fat man's shirts. And you could see, like, you ever see a coffee filter? That's what my armpits were sweating. Like, God knows, there was my McDonald's burgers and ferners. fucking tacos because I used to do comedy for 10 different reasons at night. Like when Rudy Moreno

or Felipe and those guys call me and said, we got a Mexican room for you, I'd go for the 50 fucking bucks, yeah, and I go for the comedy and the art, yeah, that's great too. But I knew on the way, I could get a fucking tremendous rock of Coke in Mexicanaville for $20, and

I always stopped at King Taco. When you're planning gigs around the menu, that's when you know you're a fucking fat fuck. You know, I'm going to Houston in three fucking weeks, four fucking weeks. Only fat people go to Houston. That's what fat people buy clothes.

Fat people in California, like, if you're a fat dude in California, you buy a 2x, you're going to die. Like, they really make a 2x. Go to Texas and get a 2x. You can fit a fucking family under that shirt. Because they don't make you feel guilty. We want you to be a fat fuck. I'm going to Texas in three weeks.

That's why I don't want to bring you, Lee. You'll bust. Oh, well? You snapped in Austin I can't imagine what I didn't snap I went to get one thing They got fucking pizza from New York And in Houston

They got Antichang's Dumpling Palace That's the name of the restaurant That sounds amazing Antichang's dumpling palace Because they're not that bad Calorie wise I don't know if they're bad for your macros

Yes they're fucking bad for everything There's corking cat in that No Do you ever see fat Asian person Because they do kung fu and Tai Chi You don't do either It's Asian it's Japanese It's like that kind of food

Asian food and Mediterranean food. You don't get fat eating that. Lee, why you insult me? They do... Name one fat Chinese person you know. Bolo. All right, enough said.

All right, fucking, what's the dude in the TV show? He was an end to the dragon. He, in the beginning, Bruce Lee chokes him. That's fucking Ben, whatever. His name was he young out with a whole bunch of people. Anyway, why were we bringing personalities into the fucking dealings? I bought a shout out to my main fucking ISIS dude.

Amil Haddad. Amel, I love you, cocksucker. Paul Lynch, I love you. Jamie Stanley, liar, Hernandez, John Robinson, A.B. Rink Khan. Tony Mack, John Wolf G., always there for me. And Lance Armstrong, fucking Jr., whatever. He's not related to the fucking steroid guy. He's like his second cousin or something.

Who gives a fuck? What? What, cocksucker? What are you looking at all beady-eye for? He gave me so much. You motherfuckers. All you Jews get all creepy after Wednesday before you start acting all weird. Steaming.

Looking at me and scheming and shit like that. No, man, what you did was fucking tremendous. What you did was tremendous. I'm sorry, I didn't know your journey because I would have had lead down there. We would have all been shooting it. We would have had a documentary now. This would have gone to Sundance. Thank you, Joanne.

This would have gone to fucking Sundance. I appreciate that. $360 pounds, you know. to 2.30 and take, listen, like I said, just showing up. Like last Sunday I went to, my buddies are all blue belts and they had a blue belt tournament

at my own school. I went over there. And they were like, one guy was pissed because he lost in the second round. I go, you don't see me with a guy, huh? Are you here? That's amazing. These little fucking steps become big steps. You know, hopefully in two years

you'll be in the Grand Prix. Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping I'm really trying my best and I'm really going to see how far I can go with this, you know. And the next step is winning a show. The next step is going to nationals and then maybe becoming pro. You never know. But I'm giving it my all.

I mean, I gave it everything that I had everything. And I spent a long time, a long part of my life, not really trying to do anything, not really shooting for the stars, you know, or not really attempting to do much. You know, I'd go to school, this and that. You know, great, that's fine. But I never really had a passion. I never really had something to work towards and give my all to.

And like I said, it's been a lot of years just fucking around. And now I feel like I'm really alive. I wake up every morning with purpose and a goal, you know. And it's just, it's amazing. And just the amount of people and their support. and like I said I never I never thought I had so many supporters and it's just you know when I when I was kind of I was never going to quit but when I had my moments of weakness and wanting to quit and wanting to give up I just always thought of the people that I was inspiring or the people that really had my back and were supporting me and I didn't want to let anyone down so where I kind of started to kind of peter out That's where everyone's support kind of lifted me up. And, yeah, I couldn't have done it without everyone.

Did you have sponsors for this show or anything? No. This was an amateur show, totally, all the way. Yeah, yeah. Definitely just an amateur show. I had a lot of help from my father. I had a lot of help from my girlfriend. A lot of help from friends, you know.

But, yeah, just an amateur show. And like I said, work full time, go to school. So everything I had, I just, I dumped it all into that. Every ounce of energy that I had, I put it into that. So I got a little, I got a little obsessive, you know, a little obsessive, a little, maybe a little too focused, you know, neglected some things, some relationships and whatnot. But I did what I had to do and that's what it takes.

That's what it takes to be the best. And that's what it takes to pursue your dream is you just got to give it all You got, when you make an omelet, you're going to break a few fucking eggs. And it's really weird that you said that when you go for your goal and you look at what's important and you go, you know what I'm going to do this, usually got a sacrifice. Usually the sacrifice involved. Somebody suffers. You know, I look at myself and I'm like, yeah, I'm 325 fucking pounds or whatever. I remember moving to this town.

I was 240. You know, was I eating fucking healthy? No. I wasn't eating that Burger King. but I always liked good food I spent the extra 10 bucks with a nice piece of fish, whatever but I got so obsessed with comedy

you know I got so obsessed with comedy you know my goal was a year I came out to LA to be here a year Curtis I didn't know this ain't for me I went to prison I was gonna put me on TV these people nice people

they all had fucking nice childhoods they all had lawns you know I come from fucking help And these people are going on. And after a year, you book a commercial and you stay out of it. And I got so involved with comedy, I didn't even see the weight getting put on. And I didn't care. I didn't care.

I just wanted to fucking do comedy. You know what? I walked to the comedy store. But if I walked in those days, that gave me the excuse to eat six fucking subway sandwiches. Not that I ate subway sandwiches. Yes, you did. I'm just saying that. My wife told me the other day, she goes, there was a guy that used to come

around with snow cones. She goes, you used to eat three fucking snow cones in the afternoon. You know how much sugar is in those fucking snow cones? Those fresh ones from the thing, you know. I didn't even think about that. I kept eating like I was 21.

I had a friend when we were kids that would eat a box of cereal and an enthrman's cake every fucking morning for breakfast. I wonder what that motherfucker looks like today. You know, like, and I heard the stories until one day I went over to his house. I'm like, Let me eat breakfast over here.

This guy, his mom would buy like 10 boxes of cereal for him for the fucking week. He would eat them at one shot. There's nothing better than that. Jesus Christ, Lee. Okay. Tell me, if you're a big bowl and a box of cinnamon toast crunch, isn't that big of a box, do it like two or three and that you keep adding milk? I'm a golden graham's type of motherfucker, you know what I'm saying?

Or I didn't like count chocolate and I didn't like the, I like the, there was one that the milk turned chocolate. but it was perfect. You could taste the diabetes. Shoot. You could just taste the diabetes. Coco pebbles or... Coco Puffeus.

Count Blacula. I didn't like fucking... Count Chocular, Blackula. It's an entirely different cereal. No, it's... Blackula's a fucking movie. A black exploitation movie. What's the future?

What do you want to do? Like, what's the next contest? Well, I want to compete in a... contest before the end of the year, get it done before the holidays. Because I told my girlfriend I would not compete during the holidays, you know, to enjoy that family time. And, you know, she's very traditional Mexican and they like to eat. And I love to eat too.

And, you know, I promised her I wouldn't compete during that time. So before that time, get a show, get a show done. graduate, get my master's, and then market myself as a personal trainer, pursue my doctorate. I'm in the process of getting NASM certified to become a personal trainer. So it's only a matter of a few months to actually get my certification. What don't you do? You should be like half Jamaica. What don't you do?

There's 18 fucking things going on, brother. And this is it. This is what, you know, everybody wants a day off in this country. There's no days off. No, never. What day off are you talking about? That's if fucking people, you know,

don't want to give a fuck. They want to walk around with sandals on and eat hummus. Who the fuckers? Which one of my freaks? I don't know, you cuck, sucker. I'll be calling me no more. Let me just do these things. Hey, listen, man, I brought you on here

because you inspired the fuck out of them. me. I had to hit you up and tell you my situation and you hit me up with John and it's been great. I love this little routine I have with John. It's helped me a lot. You know, I feel fucking stronger. Last Thursday in

Jiu-Jitsu was possibly my best day in two years. Oh, very nice. The deadlifts, like I was telling you before, the thing, the deadlifts send my body into a different realm. Those first couple weeks, it was just, the first two weeks I had to pull a league. I had to go home.

have the protein shake and go to sleep. And just shut off. And just go to sleep. It just destroyed my sides, my shoulders, my leg. I wouldn't be sore the next day. Just for that minute. You know, I always stretch out and do it afterward. What's the deal with the protein powder?

Right out? Like, whenever I drink two protein shakes in the day, like, let's say I'm in a rush and I make a protein shake. I don't lose weight that week. I got to only do one after my workout. Is that when you do it after your workout? Yeah. I usually just limit it to just after my workout.

where your body really needs it. I mean, technically you could have one in the morning, but you don't really need a protein shake at any other time of the day. But just when you break down that muscle and you need to repair. And they said to put the kitchen sink in there. Banana for carbs, a little fucking sugar in there to get the sugars back or something. Somebody said, not like fucking a boxley, like a teaspoon.

I think you were winning like a milkshake recipe. I am. This is it. This is. No, we can't put sugar. good. Can you? No, after the workout. Oh. After the workout. Because you're... Yeah, just a little bit. You know, Cuban people put salt in that

fucking coffee. It tastes like dick. But it does something. It does some glycemic fucking thing. I don't know. What do you bother me for? Yeah. After your workout, you're definitely going to want at least, you know, 40 grams of protein and then 40 to 50 grams of, like,

fast digesting carbs. I always, like I said, sometimes I'll have, like, candy corn or, you know, Some Captain Crunch or maybe some ice cream. What about banana and water? Yeah, you could do that too. Shut the fuck up, Coxie. If you could have Captain Crunch.

No, you can't. That's the problem. That's the mind of a chubby. You got to fucking do the banana. People eat bananas look like fucking Hercules here. Yeah, but he eats Captain Crunch. Because he's fucking picking up buildings part time. When you pick up buildings part time, you can eat fucking bananas

and Captain Crunch and get your dicks up. It's when your chubby's like fucking. me that you can't be doing everything you drink water you gain a pound so uh what else do you put in the protein powder for flavor um there's this peanut butter powder it's called uh why would you do that to yourself i might as well spray fucking butter like this gym over here well no it's uh it's pb it's it's called pb2 or it's called just great stuff it's a peanut butter powder it's it's uh it only has maybe about 1.5 grams of fat per 12 grams of a serving and then it has maybe about five grams of carbs, four grams of protein. So it's definitely a lot lower in fat than regular peanut butter

and just adds that peanut butter taste. So you don't have to put a real scoop of peanut butter in there, but it tastes just as good. And so you have like a chocolate protein, some peanut butter powder, and then I always put some egg whites in there and it tastes just like a chocolate peanut butter shake. I just, I'll put just raw egg whites in there. So, I just drink them. Is that what you're just like Joey? Oh yeah, yeah, that's what I want my fucking milk shake.

Two fucking heart attack potentials. I used to make a good, when I was really skinny and I was a young kid and I lift heavy, I used to make a Mac Daddy shake. I put some milk in that motherfucker, a half a thing of ice cream, some just protein. In those days, it was only Ben Wheater protein. and generic protein from fucking Pathmark.

I would throw some protein in there, some wheat germs, six or seven eggs, because they used to follow the barbarian brothers. They used to eat 30 fucking grams of protein per meal. You had to eat five meals, that's 150 grams of protein a day for you to get fucking yoked to death. They said they would eat 36 fucking hard-bowled eggs a day.

I don't ever want to be around those motherfuckers with their asshole must smell like. They just have a brown spot. They just have a brown spot. and they thought I'd say I had to throw a pair underway away. Where on the road? No, I went to the fucking gym with my rotten ass and I went to take a shower and there's a skid mark.

I didn't want my wife to see it so I had a buried under the fucking under a diaper like a fucking... Did you throw it away at your house? No, I went to the neighbor's house and I asked enough if I could do it over there. I threw it away my fucking house, you fuck. Oh, I thought you were showering at the gym. No, no, no. I went to... Your dad must have taken the shit and not wiped it completely

and you had that little hemorrhoid that sits under the Tucker, you're fat, and it skid martin. And I knew something was up because my ass was burning. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. You just picked up a diaper and put it underneath? Sure. Who's going to blame the diaper? Anyway, I'm just trying to tell you something for the weak, cock sucker.

You got to bother me. What else do you? I like strawberries in the shake. I like bananas in the shake. When I have too many, now that he cut me down 150, I don't put banana in the shake no more. I just put the protein, a little bit of fucking sugar, and that's it. And I make it a little small one. so the sugar hits it.

I use two different types of protein on it, which is 16 scoops of protein per gram, and then when I switch up, I switch up to the shit from GNC. It's got the ripped. It's 40 and 2, and it's got 2,000 fucking milligrams of some amino acid to help me burn fat. That shit ain't working.

It ain't working. That sucks. Yeah. So, Jog has you on 150 grams of carbs a day. Carbs for now. It was 185 or something. They put it down on 150. I got 50 of fat and 185 of protein.

And I can't hit the protein. I'm always fucked up with the car. Not too much. And I'm right there with the fucking, unless if I have meat, it throws it all off. Like an 8 ounce patty of meat. I was buying the box ones. I shit blood for two days.

No more box ones. I get the ones from around fresh and easy. You got good ones too, but they're going out of business. They are? Yeah, that's a goddamn. Me and Leah, a lot of times I go to the gym

and shoot across the street to NoHo and get it just a burger with some tomato slices and water. That's it. But not even with a bun. You didn't get a bun. I don't get the fucking bun. I don't like that.

I've never been a band burger. Listen, you get a good fucking burger. You dope that motherfucker up with some salt and pepper, maybe some garlic salt. You burn it nice in the grill. You don't need no fucking bun. That's for amages.

It's really delicious. Especially on the grill. The flavor stays inside. Tremendous. I'm telling you. Nice. Really nice, a little hamburger with some tomato slices, a cottage cheese. I don't like cottage cheese. I'm just throwing it out there. You tried to pass it off to me. Yeah, they always give me cottage cheese. Like, my name is Mervin.

That's some shit. Only Mervin is fucking cottage cheese. Oh, poor Mervin. Whatever. It's always a Mervin that he's cottage cheese and fucking Kohl'slaw with his burger. Man, I'm fucking super proud of you. And you're one of those guys I really wanted to put on. I really wanted to put on somebody from Facebook or Twitter that we've been around each other and you're a fucking inspiration. You inspire me. And thank you for turning me on to John.

Yeah. Like I said, it's working, man. I do two cardioes a week on the Stairmaster, how he does, in 20 seconds and 40. And I got a great system. I go all the way up to 12 and I go backwards to 6 and all the way back up. I fucking like it, man. And I burn a lot of calories. And then one day I love those cattle bells.

So I just do swings and clean and jerks. and it's still like fucking 9,000 calories. You know, I go in the park, I sweat. I can't, I hate working out inside a couple of days. I give me jitza some days I'm going, and I go, right. I live in California. I don't want to be in fucking science.

I go to North Hollywood Park. I take 2.35 pound kettlebells. I go for a farmer's walk. I'll swing one of them, and I'll clean and press them. I'll do some fucking sit-ups with an 8-pound ball. Boom, I'm out of there. I got some sun. I got a couple, I got bit by some red ants in the head.

I was itchy like a motherfucker a couple of weeks. ago. But anyway, brother, you're a real inspiration. Where can people ask you questions? What the fuck is wrong with this guy? What, you don't want to ask him quite? Lee, all the fucking dilemmas you have. That's a great way to say it.

Where can people ask you questions? People are going to fucking want to ask them questions, Lee. He's got a lot of answers to people. Remember Jeremy? He had all the answer. Yeah, he's got all the fucking answers like Jeremy from from ballcancet.com. No, from the float tank.

whatever. Whatever, him too. Everybody got all the answers. I say, it's like, I hit you up. I just hit you up. You impressed me so much. I had to hit you up. I just want to know what the fuck you were doing, man.

Yeah, and I'm glad you did, and thank you for all your support, and thank you for all your compliments. I mean, it really means a lot. And, you know, I miss the days of going to watch you perform at the Braille Improv, you know, me and Omar. Omar, yeah, yeah. We used to have some good fucking shows then on Wednesday.

We used to get some killers. We get Stone, banana bread. Mikey used to bring a green chili burrito. They got to be fucking 2,000. It's delicious. That's green chili fucking burrito. How did you guys become friends? Because there's a lot of people who come to shows,

but there are like four or five different people who started out coming to shows as like fans and then just became friends. That's it, man. He did something that I saw that just, I stuck with it. I wanted to see what he was doing. You know, there's some people who exercise

and they make you feel bad. They go out to make fat people feel bad about it. Like, look at me. Who gives a fuck? But there's some people who just make comments and are subtle, and you did that. You weren't saying, look at me, I'm Johnny Alice. You were just saying, this is where I started.

This is who I were. And after a while, I started just paying attention. You start paying attention to somebody who was making fucking stress. Hey, listen, the beauty of this, whether you're a bodybuilder, whether you want to play the piano, whether you want to be a fucking podcast producer, even if you just want to suck dick.

Whatever the fuck you want to do is you've got to dive into it. And you dove into it. Absolutely. That's it. That's the moral of this fucking story. Everybody's walking around out there. I don't know what my next move is. Find your passion, and you're sitting there going, Joey.

You know, I've been doing everything. I haven't found my passion. Keep playing the ukulele. I don't give a fuck. There's something out there, man, that's going to take you. away from your everyday fucking life. That one hour apiece it's your world when you go in there

with speakers on and you're lifting that heavy way and all of a sudden like you're not looking forward to being there and all of a sudden now you're up to back and you've got one exercise left and your shirt's wet and you took your mind off the fucking shit that's going on in your life or what's not going on in your life

that's what it's all about man that's what your passion's about. Yeah I mean I love it every day. I love a lot of people they drag going on the gym or working out, but I absolutely love it. And you know, if I could get paid just to go to the gym and work out, I would love that. You know,

that's what I would do. That would be my job. Now, you live in the Orange County area? Yeah. Listen, man, if you live in Orange County and you want to just ask questions, I mean, this is the time to sign up with a fucking personal trainer. He's not official yet, but I'm sure he's $10 cheaper than

fucking Tony down the corner. He ain't going to give you no shit and he's really doing it. So, this is the guy I wanted my fucking corn if I lived in fucking in Orange County. I'd go meet at a parks and went to do push-ups. Yeah, I mean, I've pretty much done it all. I mean, I've experienced every diet, every exercise plan. You know, I'm

not out to make money off of anyone. I'm just here to help people. I mean, I needed a lot of help when I was first starting my journey. I had no idea what I was doing and I learned a lot just by trial and error and, you know, making mistakes and just doing

a lot of reading. But mainly just making mistakes. And if I can help someone, kind of give them some advice so they don't have to make as many mistakes as I did, I'm more than happy to give back and really help people out. I mean, I'm not any better than any one of you who has a weight problem. You know, I mean, if I could do it, you most certainly can too, because I never had a leg up in terms of my genetics. I've been fat my whole life.

You know, never had a six-pack ever. And so if you want to get in shape, if you want just some general knowledge about nutrition, working out, I mean, whatever it may be, you can contact me on my Facebook, Curtis Salsito, or you can contact me on my Instagram. It's El Monstro, 83. or you can email me Curtis underscore Salcido at yahoo.com. Last name, S-A-L-C-I-D-O. So you can contact me those three ways.

I'll be more than happy to answer any type of question. If you guys just want to know, if you want to get into bodybuilding or, you know, you have questions on what to do in terms of just overall health and fitness. I mean, I'm here to help, you know, I'm here to help. So, you know, don't hesitate to contact me. And always, you know, people contact me all the time, actually, on Instagram, Facebook, stuff like that.

Or even at the gym. And, you know, I always try to make time for people. You know, I never want to shut anyone out. You know, I will help every single last person if you guys need the help. Thank you, brother, for coming on. And I wish you're fucking nothing but love and luck. You're a fucking unadulterated genius for what you did. And I'm very proud of you. I'm sure a lot of people, you know, want to say, I want to look like that and don't know where to fuck to start.

So here's where to start, cock suckers. Get off the couch, do a jumping jack. Stop sitting there. Your life's passing through you. You're fuck. Let me get some shout-outs to some people. And we're going to move on with our lives. I'll let you start your little fucking Easter weekend.

You can go hunt eggs or whatever the fuck you want to do. Here you go to my main people. What other fuck people do? They hide eggs and they jump up and down behind the bush. and the kid comes back with an egg with candy. And it's funnily, you never did that. I'm sure you're a fucking candy cuck, sucker. Anyway, if you want to be like my man Tarzan over here,

optimum fucking optimization, you understand me? You want to be the fucking king of swing or you want to fucking sit there in the corner and wait for the fucking ugly chick to come get you? That's not going to happen. Go to honor.com right now. Check out their list of supplements and fucking weighted equipment stuff to help you look mean, lean,

and to be the 100% you. It's called Optimant Optimization. That's how we do it here. Go to honor.com. You're like, Joey, what do I start with? Get the alpha brain. Get the new mood. Look at the shroom tech for a little energy.

It's got those fucking mushrooms in them. Not that you're going to trip and see Indians. This is the good shit. This gives you some fucking lung power. Gives you an extra 15 minutes if you want to fuck somebody in the muffler so you don't tap out. Anyway, all jokes aside. Listen, go to honor.

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Go to honor.com, whatever you want. Go to the box and press in. Church. C-H. You know what? You get 10% off. They also have to stay on the program.

If you like what you fucking got, put your credit card, the amenity on the first, you'll be doing fucking whatever you want to do. Belly crawls, whatever the fuck you want to do, all right? Talking about belly crawls.

Listen, you're sitting there at home. You're not doing that. You got a finger up your ass. You got no cable because you're fucking broke. But you know what? You got Roku. Go to Iron Dragon TV, right? now. Tonight's your night. You can start

watching classic martial art films. You understand me? From early Jackie Chan to Jet Lee, the fucking Iron Fist, the legend, the return of the fucking one-armed... They got it! That's my fucking point. You've been sitting there for years saying, you know what? I saw every horror movie. What's

next in my life? Classic... Shut the fuck. Classic martial films coming at you right now. Iron Dragon TV, the lead in 4K technology. Dave Foley, don't fuck around. You want to, like Joey, how do I know? How do you know?

I'm going to take care of you right now. Go to Iron Dragon TV right now and press in. Joey. Oh shit, J-O-E-Y. And get two free movies. Not one. I'm going to give you a deuce. Deuce, cox.

So you get some popcorn, maybe a chocolate sundae. Get a joint, go out to the garage, smoke it with the cat, whatever the fuck you're into. Number two, you're sitting there with those rotten fucking underwear you got on, like the ones I threw out. They were the last of the white ones. You're sitting there going, what's my next move? I can't even bring a broadover

because these underwear look like, fucking death and they smell even fucking worse. Tonight when you take your underwear off, smell the crease by your nutsacks. Just smell it. Not even when they're dirty. Smell it when it's clean and see what you fucking smell. You're not going to have that. You know why? Because you're going to start with a whole new underwear.

Meandis, they don't fuck around. Listen, man, the best underwear out there. I go to Jiu-Jitsu, I got me on the on. I go to the gym, I got me on the on. Why? Because the elastic band holds on to my fat little fucking waist. You understand me like Elvis. And every time I bend dogs. You don't have to see butt crack. Number two, I love them to work out because it pulls the moister away from my nutsack.

My balls are fucking magnificent. You understand me? If I go to a gay bar, I can take them out and somebody will suck them with pride because I got me on these underwear on. That's how I fucking roll. Don't take it from me. Go to me on these. Don't know. Look at the page of what they got.

They got men and women underwear right now. Go to me on these right now and press in. Joey. Boom! And what do they get? 20% off and free shipping in Canada and the United States. States. I'm not bullshin you? You're not bullshin you. You're looking at me going, Jerry, what do I need those underwear for? You want to sling dick? You got to look like 100% from the inside out. Coxuck. It all starts in the inside. I'm 400 pounds. I walk into a bar. I know I can pick up that blonde. I know I can go in and take my dick out. In my mind, I'm not going to pick her up, but in my mind. But it all starts inside. Meandis gives you more confidence. You know, and you take your home and you take your hammer out. It's going to come out of a fresh pair of underwear. They're going to be a unique color like a sad, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, you know, like a camouflage, and your dick's

gonna smell good, it's gonna be fucking, it's not gonna smell like death with chlorine from those white fucking underwear. Go to me on these.com right now and press in Joey. Joey, and get 20% off your order of free shipping in Canada the United States. You're sitting there going, Joey, you know what? You come to me with the same

bullshit every week. What the fuck? 20% off. What am I going to do with that? Well, here it is bitch. Here it is bitch. You want something for free? I'm gonna give you the best free because nothing is fucking free. I mean, let's face, you're gonna pay for shipping. but I'm going to give you a free sample box with NatureBox.com.

Nothing is free. You're going to pay for something on the arm. $2, but who gives it a $30-40 value? I'm going to send you two big bags and three little bags. Sarachi almonds, sarachi walnuts, cocoa almonds, the cattle kernels. I mean, it never ends. Just go on the fucking, go on to naturebox.com right now.

Bless Joey. You're sitting there. It's two in the morning when you live. What else are you going to do? You're going to look at you porn and jerk off. You might as well have five free fucking snacks. sent to your house. And if you like them,

you get them sent to your house every month on the first, like fucking clockwork. Whether you like that, don't let you pick whatever the fuck you want. Why listen to me? I'm just a fat fuck. No, I don't go to N-N-N-A-N-A.

This is what I would eat every fucking night. There's Nature Box. Those little Seshwan pretzels will get your asshole on fire. You understand me? Anyway, don't take it from you. I'm giving it to you for free.

Go to NatureBox.com and press in. Joey. Oh, shit. Boom, that's all you need to do. J-O-E-Y. I'm going to send you five free sample bags directly to your fucking house. Is it free? The box

is free, but you're going to pay for fucking shipping. UPS don't fucking drive around for free. Those big trucks, they cost money, cuck. On it, Iron Dragon TV, me on these, and naturebox dot com. Curtis Salcedo, you're a fucking savage. I'm proud of you. You're a success.

You understand me? Everybody's worried about Selena. Look at you. You're making a comeback. What's up with you, fucko? I'm super high. super high. That's your problem. You make it happen. Everything all right. You're looking good time. I'm trying. All right. Let's close his motherfucker off.

Don't forget. I'm going to be in Ventura at the Hong Kong Garden up there, on Asianville up there, on Friday, fucking night. I have no idea what time the show starts. Just get there about 8, 8.30. I'm driving up from fucking Hollywood here. So get there like 8.8.30, I think there are a couple people on this show.

You just look at it on your website. They'll tell them what time it starts. I don't know what time. I just go to Hong Kong. It's an Asian fucking restaurant and Mentura. It's not like you're going to Chinatown, and there's people flying through the air like Into the Dragon. They've got like maybe three, four fucking Chinese people in Mentura. Hong Kong Garden. Did they all work at Hong Kong?

I have no fucking idea. I've never been there before. Next week I'm in San Diego at the American Comedy Club. Friday and Saturday night, four shows. They're going to sell out. Don't come crying to me. I didn't get fucking tickets. I'm telling you right now, Cocksucker.

Curtis, I love you. Thank you, buddy, for coming up with him, keeping them company. It's a long way to the top of you on a rock and roll. You. What's up, buddy? What's going on with you? I put up a podcast yesterday. I want to go listen to Find You Radio.

All right. With Matt Fletron. All right. And I'm trying to figure out what I want for dinner right now. What's your fantasy fucking? nachos. You got some nachos somewhere. That's another star.

No. Let's see another piece. Look at what we did this. 6,000 milligram star. We already got to the middle. That's how we don't. We don't fuck around here. Anarchy edibles always taking care of us.

Not a fucking. a Twitter joke I ain't for fool No there's 6,000 fucking milligrams Me and Lee This fucking star Was bigger than the one Over Jesus' head

When they stabbed them Look what it's down there It's like a rectangle Smell this Curtis Just smell this What does it smell like? That's the real fucking deal There's got to be

3,000 milligrams Left of T-HC right here We're gonna eat this every fucking session We'll see you guys next week Monday night 7 o'clock I love your motherfuckers Stay black Don't forget Friday night

The Hong Kong Garden up there in Ventura Come on out Santa Barbara Baker's Beakers field Whatever come on down Let's eat some fucking egg rolls I can't eat them I gotta eat shrimp and lobster sauce because I can't eat meat On Good Friday

Make sure you bring your Chinese friends Let's go Lee speed it up cucket We got things that are people to see You're not going to say good night You're not going to give you heads I am doing right now Alright let's go while we're young Okay

Now that the show is over Don't forget to go to naturebox.com And sign up to get your free sample box of great tasting, healthy snacks. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels. Go to naturebox.com

slash Joey. That's a nature box. Wait, hold on. This girl fucking Nella Jays. She got big tits, but she puts a picture of a steak on Twitter. I don't know if you know state. Break out those tities, bitch. Wait, what happened? It don't matter. Just breathe the fucking.

Show her tities. The steak. Okay. I don't know. I'll keep going with you. Also go to me on d's notcom. Joey and get 20% off of your first order of their men's and women's underwear and you're also only going to get free shipping in the United States and Canada. Go to Anandot.com and use

coburg church to get 10% off all their optimization products and go to iron dragontivy.com and use co-board Joey to get two free rentals.