The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #290 - Billy Corben

Episode Date: June 11, 2015

Billy Corben, director of the new documentary "Dawg Fight," calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt.This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   ��NatureBox. Visit Naturebox.com/joey for a free trial box.   Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off.   Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals.   Recorded live on 06/11/2015.
   Music:
 Mean Streets - Van HalenToday Was A Good Day - Ice Cube  

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And when you go to iron dragon TV.com, you use co-word Joey to get two free rentals. What the fuck are you doing with your life? Motherfucker. It's lunchtime here in Los Angeles. It's a cloudy day. We might as well get together and do a church episode for you.

Billy Corbyn's calling in. Call him in. Talk a little bit about dog fighting. So fuck it. Little mean treats for you, cock suckers. Oh shit Hey what man Eddie Van Hanel was on fire

In this fucking out Oh shit Lee Syatt in the house Jews are around The star of David is above it And it's a beautiful day to be alive Motherfuckus What's the story dog

There's no story How are you doing? I'm doing great I'm feeling better You know when Mean Streets When Mean Streets came out I wasn't a big Van Halen fan Van Halen, the first album had come out, and I went to see him blow sabotage to the fucking stage.

And then Van Halen 2 came out, and it was a Men's Amort's album. Okay. And then I don't remember what happened after Van Halen 2, what album came out after that. Maybe women and children first. And that one I didn't think much of. And then this one came out, and I fucking said, wow. And I was just getting into Sydney Year in high school,

one of the first videos on MTV. Right. Was one of the songs from this album. This is Love. great fucking video. That was my Van Halen story for the day, all right? I was thinking about that the other day, though, how music nowadays, it seems like they're writing it for what they feel will sell.

I forget there was a song like by this, like Megan Trainor. I forget what it was about, but as I was listening to it, all I could think of is someone sat down and wrote a song that they thought would be profitable or popular. And it doesn't seem like any of the music that we start the show with is, like that. No, I know. And it doesn't seem like, it seems like that kind of translates to everything, but especially for you comedy.

It seems like there's a lot of comedy out there who, especially even movies where you like, someone thought about this one like, this is going to be popular. Concocted this. Yeah. It's more concocted. Well, sometimes an agent will call you and say, hey, man, you have any scripts about, you know, ghost, you know, hanging out with Martians. That's going to be the popular thing next year.

You know, and everybody will buy one of those. scripts try to develop it out of the six or seven networks four of them will put something, vampire diaries. It always happens. A vampire. Then it fizzles away. Then two of them go away and two of them will last. That's just, you know, they buy hooks, whatever the fuck it is.

It's like, what's a skinny girl that sings about everybody she fucks? Oh, Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. I don't give a fuck about that music. I have serious in the car. I listen to fucking Ozzy's Bone Yard before I put that shit on. Right. You know, so I don't even know what's really going on the music, in the world of music thing.

It's very sad. I feel weird sometimes, but every time I listen to new music, it feels like I've heard it before. Yeah. So that's my opinion on it. That's why I don't listen to it. I don't mind it's to Ozzy's Boneyard, and I listen to Jimmy Forentine show and Norton's show. And, you know, if I'm in the car, that's what I put up. I listen to hip-hop all-out hip-hip-hop station, those crazy.

You've never put that on when I've been in the car. You always talk about it. I've never heard it. They're the craziest black people in the fucking world. Sometimes it's really good. Sometimes it's, you know, you're like, yeah, what the fuck is this? My wife doesn't like when I put on the car. Mercy definitely don't like it.

She doesn't like rap? It's not rap. They talk a lot, too. It's all access. They talk. They do an interview. They play music. They fucking curse.

I listen to classic disco, studio 54 at nights and times. Yeah, you listen to everything. I don't give a fuck. What's, if it's not, if it's not, I listen to, uh, I listen to, uh, Lithium. I like lithium a lot. Lithium is my music. That's, you know, Allison Chains, Nirvana, that's that generation. You know, the sound of winter, those fucking people, Bush, you know, type of shit like that. And then there's also classic rock I listen to. Yeah, to me it doesn't bother me as much like you feel like you've heard it before.

Because at this point, it's possible, I mean, it's possible, but it's a lot harder to, like, not have anyone influence. you, but it's just, like, even when I'm listening to, like, morning radio, and it's just hearing the songs that they play and then hearing the stuff that they have to talk about, it's just, I can get into new stuff, but it just has to feel like someone actually wrote it with, like, for them, but mine, it's weird. It's, it's, it's, I don't like when, uh, everything sounds like Green Day sometimes to me. I hate that shit. I like Green Day.

Leave Green Day to fuck along. You know, everything sounds like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Everything has like this, I don't fucking dig it. So I don't judge it. It's not that I'm judging it. It's not for me. Maybe if I buy the whole album, I might fucking like it, you know?

Let me talk to you guys about yesterday. Yesterday was on a weirdest podcast we ever had in our life. First of all, let me tell you what's going on in life, and it happens sometimes. And I don't like, it's the law diminishing returns. I schedule myself really well, guys, because I know that I get tired. I got a lot on my plate.

I don't have a lot on my plate, like a TV show or shit like that. I just have a lot of movement on my plate, especially as we don't have no family to help us with the fucking baby. You know, I have to help around the house. I have to be there certain times. You know, I'm trying to write a book,

which I'm banging my head off of. You know, I'm trying to write material. We're trying to tape a special here in August. You know, my agency, they moved. So I had to go with a different agent to a better agent, which I'm not mad about, but it just was a lot of stress because if I told somebody no, I would get them mad.

So whoever I said no to, whether I stayed or went, somebody was going to be angry, you know? There was just a lot of little things going on, you know. I had to cancel a podcast Tuesday morning that we had to cancel three times already, me and the guy, because I had two auditions. And I spoke to him at four and said,

we're on for tomorrow, brother, this is going to be fucking great, 10 a.m. Not 15 minutes later. not 15 fucking minutes later. And I've had two days like that this week where the whole slate has changed, you know, because of an audition or a meeting, you know, this new agency, they're aggressive to get me on boards now they're making little things happen, you know. So it's just yesterday we got together. It was just one of those dud days that we couldn't get the energy up in the room.

Martin Wheeler is a very interesting guy. But it's just sorry about the bottle guy. Sorry, sorry. It just felt that it just sometimes I see people drink. And when they put the bottle down, they'll put it down like a half a fag. And I would go, why is he drinking like that? That's why, because they're decent people. Not that they're half of fags, they're decent.

They drink the right way. Not like a fucking gorilla like me. I like push the water and it goes into your fucking throat. Like, and then whatever. So what's going on, Lee? I see you all panicking and shit over like Captain Kirk. Eustream almost died, but it's bad. Stop taking your, take your finger off the board.

You're going to fucking things up. Every time you leave your finger on the board all fucked up. So it was just one of those dud fucking podcast. I love Mr. Wheeler. We're just going to redo it again today. Not with Mr. Wheeler. We're going to get in many another time in a different type of podcast situation.

And that's why. We just didn't want to leave you with that one. I didn't want somebody referring somebody to us, and then the guy listens to the podcast, and that's that one. They'll call you back and go, what the fuck was that? Even though you have good and bad podcast,

we just figured. Billy Corbin wanted to come in this week, so we're going to have him call in and talk a little bit about dogfight. which I saw and seemed very interesting. Let's see what the fuck my man, Billy Corbyn has to say. But I basically left here yesterday. I went home, I wrote a little bit,

and I tell you, I could have gone to bed at 6. And I held it out. Like, we had dinner at the house, and I played with the baby, and we held out, and I think I put the sleep back in your mask down at 8.48. 848, I couldn't take it all along. Jesus. And I slept straight to one, I think. I opened my eyes at one, closed them again.

got up at 3 at the dot, got up, made a cup of coffee. I was thinking of going to 5 a.m. Jiu-Jitsu. The 5am Jiu-Jitsu? Yeah, I took a fucking aspirin and everything from my heart. I go, maybe I go to 5 a.m. Jiu-Jitsu. Where do they do? V-Back. No way.

Yes, they do. 5 a.m. Who teaches it? Kyle. He gets off of work. He's like a graphic designer. Oh. So he works night.

So he said, fuck it, I'm second time not training. I'll just put together a 5 in the morning class. And guess what? He gets five people. people, six people in there every morning. Some people have that energy early in the morning and they want to get the fuck out of the house and some people have that. They got to be at work by seven. They got showers over there. And there's a lot of people over here who work nights. I used to work nights for two years. I could see that. That's pretty, but it's a with yesterday, it's kind of weird how, like when you left and we were kind of like on the fence about doing it again, a lot. From the first job that I had, you kind of learned. people teach you just how to get how like how just enough is good enough or whatever like when i used to work at the movie theater we used to sweep the popcorn under the row in front so like you

the night cleaners would get it and it's just uh as i was like thinking about it in here because i was trying to put it up i was like i think he's right like it's just you have to have some sort of standard for yourself and it's i think a lot people deal with that at work they they learn shortcuts and people teach them the people training them have shortcuts the worst part is the society today is customer service. Customer service in this country has gone down 50%. Are we getting dumber? Are we not getting paid enough? Or do we not have integrity in our jobs and who the fuck we are? All of it. Okay? It's a little bit of everything. Because sometimes you go, what the fuck I'm getting 12? My cousin's getting 18. I'm not going to work hard. I'm not going to do this.

I'm not going to do that. But that's when your personal comes in. And once your personal comes in, you say to yourself, what do I expect of myself? You know, that, that was it. Even when I sold Coke, I sold the best Coke I get my hands on. When I bring the edibles I bring in here, I bring the best edibles that I feel are out there. You know those little fucking things we eat? They're 20 bucks apiece. They get you odd. But it's 20 fucking bucks.

The stars? No, the fucking things. Oh, the taffies. Oh, wow. They're a great edible. But I would never push them because they're $20 for that little fucking edible. Right. Okay.

Stars are three stars for $10. bucks. I don't get mad at you for that. That's three people getting high. But who the fuck are you? It's a great edible, but it doesn't work for us all the way around. I would never stand behind it because I want the people who listen to the church to get the best fucking value for their dollar. I don't want them coming to me going, Joey, it's a great cookie, but it's $35. Who the fuck are you kidding? Yeah, anybody can do that. Right. Anybody can do that. It's like when you see a pregnant woman in the celebrities and you see him eight weeks later. And people like, look at the diet she went on.

And then you see women at home going, why can't that happen to me? Well, because she had $2 an hour train. Somebody came in and rubbed her with fucking cow udder cream to take the fucking stretch marks off and put her in baking soda. And, you know, it's amazing what money does. Right. I don't come from that cut. That's why I drive a fucking Subaru.

I want the best for my dollar. I'm an American. I want the best for my fucking dollar. Yeah, I could drive a BMW and fucking make a lease it and drive around and make believe I'm a fucking producer and do 35 in the left-hand lane like a fucking momo like half these people in this town. I don't want to do that.

I drive what works for me. It's $2.20 a month. Whether I have a job or not, I could steal $229 fucking dollars. You understand? I could get a dollar a month and still make my car payment. So that's what my thought process is.

When it comes to the work, you know, when I'm fucking around at the comedy store and I have an idea and I want to go down there, it may bomb. Hey, it may bomb. you know, this is what this is on a Tuesday night. But when you pay $20 to come see him on a Friday and Saturday, I give you the best I have

because I don't want somebody else saying I saw him, hey, you're going to have bad sets. But I want you to know in your heart I gave you the best I had. Yesterday, this is a podcast. We could put it up and not give a fuck. You know what? I don't want to do this to these people. Right.

I want to give them something every day to take home and go, you know what, the podcast sucked, but he made a great point with that. There was no points made. yesterday. We had nowhere to go. I was flat. You were flat. He was flat. So fuck it. Let's just bounce it. And let's give these people why they listen to us. That's how you do things in this life.

And I don't think you trying something new on stage isn't giving your best. Because I think what I think some comics might do is going on stage and doing the same thing. And that's just, they know it's going to be okay and there'll be an okay set. But

if you try something new, you're trying to make yourself better. You know, ever since I started the podcast with you, or with Felicia, we were doing this, you know what, man? It created something different than me. It was times I went up on stage, and I could tell you, I didn't give a fuck. They weren't there to see me. They were there to see Rogan.

I could see how that attitude comes out. I could see it in many ways how things like that happen. But that's another flip side to that. I want them to like me. I want to be likable with them and have a relationship, so, you know, they'll come and see me again and blah, blah. blah and blah blah blue and everybody's fucking happy. So I just want to do the podcast over just to give them something.

I just thought that wasn't us yesterday. And it was, it happened. I proved it to myself when I went home and fucking fell asleep for, you know, 12 hours. Because I got up at three. I got some coffee. I watched an episode of Sopranos. That's hysterical. I watched a little bit of Sons of Anarchy.

And I watched a little bit of news, and I wrote. And it's funny, people always tell you, I love writing when I get up. I love writing my bull. Like, I even wrote some bullshit. Like, I tell people to do, like, the Warriors Way, whatever idea they had. But the interesting thing I did this, I got a fucking, when you're sitting there at 4 in the morning, and there's no noise. And I even went outside and hit the bolt. Oh, my God, I got this Hollywood OG.

Holy, this thing will fuck you up. When I leave here, I was running late, so I didn't really want to go over there and stop. And, you know, when I leave here, I got like 520s in my pocket. I'm going over there. I'm getting the whole fucking $100 to them. That's how good that weed is. Wow. I got fucked up this morning, fucked up a couple minutes ago.

But when I smoked it yesterday, I was high for at least, I don't know how long. And I couldn't stop fucking eating nacho chips either. Those little dried chips the baby has. Oh, okay. I must eat fucking 20 of those things. Oh, yeah. No, I've been getting better at that, though. When you leave out of here?

Oh, yeah, not going crazy. It was really crazy last night. Like, I was, uh, Gordon Warnock is helping me with the book. He's an agent, a really good guy, you know, and him going back and forth. He's been telling me to give him a chapter. You know, give him a chapter about, uh, my first day in North Bergen, which, not my first day living there,

but my first day when I met Carmine and Anthony and all. that. Right. But he also wanted me to give him an intro, you know. I couldn't figure out what the intro was. I couldn't figure out if it was, uh, it was, uh, my wife telling me that she was pregnant and how I reacted to it, you know, that day. Like, it just, uh, it messed with me for a couple hours and then, and then her and I got into it one day at the habit over the pregnancy. Like, I was like, I don't know what to do. You know, I'm fucking 40, I'm gonna be 50 and, and, and, and then her and I got into it one day at the habit over the pregnancy. Like, I was like, I don't know what to do. You know, I'm fucking 40. I'm gonna be 50. And, and, and. And And I've been thinking about what to write for the intro. You know, the whole time I was like, well, I'll write this and I'll write that. Maybe I'll write when I was in the jail cell and what I was thinking about. And then something dawned on me. I was looking at, we got a school picture from Mercy. Have you seen it?

No. A school picture. See, it looks like a fucking bruiser. She didn't like the photographer. So she was crying. When she don't like the photographer, she gets pissed off. If she don't like who's taking the picture, she'll fucking. So I don't know what happened.

I didn't go. I was out of town. My wife told me she didn't like the lady. The lady was like 800 pounds, and she was scare of mercy, and Mercy was fucking yelling at her and shit. You know, she finally took the picture. If you see the picture, she was like a fucking bruiser. She looks like, you know, she's pissed and she's big.

She's scowling her? Yeah, she's scowling, and she's big, and the whole thing, and I'm looking at her, and I'm thinking to myself, you know, the last thing I would want right now in this world is to leave this little girl, like, to die. Like, I couldn't even imagine. Like, I just could not imagine. You know.

And for this, this is last night when I'm sitting there writing what I tell you, motherfuckers, that has worked for me in the morning, just to get up in the morning and go, it's Thursday, June 11th. It's a beautiful day that I always started with it. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Today I have this, this, this, and this on the table. And all of a sudden, your mind just goes. Your mind just opens up.

It's amazing. Your mind just dumps this. And in the middle of all of this writing, I came up with this thing. When I left here, yes, I had a message on my phone. for my friends in Miami, the people I knew on 148th Street. Okay. And she wanted to call me and ask me about a date if I was going to be in Florida on that date.

And I said, no. And we got back and forth to talking about something. And she said, I remember a story one time when you went to Riverside Drive and you went to play baseball. And she goes, do you remember? I didn't not remember at all. She goes, you put the cup outside your pants. You wouldn't put the cup under your underwear.

You didn't like it touching your dick. So you put the baseball cup here. And she goes, hey, a thousand kids called you a retardant, and you didn't give a fuck. To you, that was what you were doing. You were putting the drop cup outside. How old were you? I go, how old was I?

She goes, you had to be maybe five. That's hysterical. Five and a half with jeans on. She goes, you put the cup out. You had your little baseball shirt with your helmet, with your hat and your glove and shit, you know? And you just didn't like the idea of putting it in the pants? Nah.

And something happened that. She goes, I went down there with your mom. and the guy I was seen at the time, Felipe, who she ended up marrying. She told me, she goes, do you remember? And I go, no, I don't. And she goes, you said something really weird, I never forget. When the game ended, you guys had to shake hands. It was like a little league game or something, like some pee-wee types, tee ball or some shit.

You had to shake hands. Right, yeah. And she goes, when you were shaking hands, she just turned your back, and you walked away, and I went up to you. Your mom was like 10 feet ahead of you, and you were running up to your mom. And she goes, I went up to you, and you looked at me, and something about don't you want to stay or something. And you said, what I want to stay for?

I got no father to watch me play this fucking game anyway. She goes, do you remember that? And I go, not at all. She goes, I was just thinking about that. She goes, do you think of your father still? And I go, yeah. She goes, you know, in those years it was still fresh in your mind. And you could not get over it.

She goes, I remember that there was situations at night that you would wake up yelling. She goes, this went on. Do you remember it all? And I go, no. And she goes, you know, I think that sometimes when we talk, you always think that your life got fucked up when your mom died.

I think she goes, it was when you, and it was. And I daughter that conversation yesterday, and I must have gone home yesterday and just processed it in my sleep or something. And I think when Mercy, when my wife came to me that day, and I got into it with her at it because we got into it like maybe a month or two later when they're eating lunch.

you know my wife talks she's a Gentile so she just talks about whatever the fuck she talks about you know Gentiles just talk you know I level it with all my heart but she starts talking and I don't know I reacted to it in a bad way and she got upset and it was I was scared I was scared I always thought about I've forgotten over the years I think my mom's pain made me forget about my dad's pain but that's what started that's what had me going I always really wanted a dad That's why I'm so close at Carmine today. And Mr. T. and Carlos Ginterer, I'm really close at those guys. And that's why I think I work out.

Like my back hurts, not my lower back. Thank God. We had to do wrestling things, so my neck hurts a little bit. Oh, no. Because we were learning how to grab somebody's back and get out of a choke. Okay. When they have, you know, how to grab their arm and push your body away. So my neck got a little tweet.

But it was very interesting that I, I, wrote that out last night. That's what I wrote out while I was watching the Sopranos, how instead that would be the intro, how I was, which I really am. That's my biggest fear. I love to see Mercy grow. You know, I would love to watch Mercy grow up. I would love to see

Mercy at least be 18. You know, which would clock me at 68. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. It's a biggest fear. And I never had fears before. I never really, you die, you know what I'm saying? You die when you die. There's nothing you can fucking do about it. You think as you're fucking floating away in a casket, you got control.

You got no control. When morning you wake up, you go to put your fucking sneakers on and you fucking punch the ticket. You know what I'm saying? That's what happens, man. That's just the way life is or whatever God decision works for you, you know. How often do you think about death? Never until I had mercy. Never.

It's a thought I'd never like thinking about. I don't like thinking about people's debt. When the thought crosses my mind, I try to get it out of it and I throw them my mental ways. basket. I try really hard to avoid all those types of thoughts just because I don't like them just from being a kid and having all those people dying. So when somebody comes to me

and says, ah, such and such is sick. I, you know, it's like when they told me my best friend, Jimmy Berger was sick a couple years ago and they said he had six months left. I didn't process it for four days. Then by the fifth day I broke down and cried and cried and I couldn't

believe that this guy was dying. But we're all going to fucking die. Right. And in my mind, I decided, listen, he's going to die. We're all going to die. And it's, you know, it takes this moment for us to be nice to people. Like, that's what really pissed me up about Jimmy Berkel dying. It changed me because I was like, Jimmy Berkel may have six months to live.

Let me be nicer to him. Why? Why? I don't know how many days that guy fucking Rouse has to live. Right. Why am I nice to him? I don't know how much, you know, when I go to fucking get coffee. I don't know how long that fucking black dude with the dreads has to live.

The nicest guy in the world, you know. I don't know. We don't know. That's why you have to be nice. You know, you have your moments, but you try to be fucking nice, you know. No, it's messed up when, like, a thought gets stuck in your head now. I've had a thought stuck in my head for months that maybe it's because I'm getting older now, and I just, I'm, look, when you're a kid, you get, you're old. What old are you?

What old are you? 26. Well, I know that, but, like, when I'm a kid, when you're, when you're, when you're, You're a kid, you're, like, really self-involved, I think. Self-involve than what? And just yourself. Right, yeah, you really are. Just like, you're the only thing in your own world.

And I don't know why, but for the last few months, I'm obsessed with how, like, we're all, like, everything we go and do is about us. But then you look at somebody else and I have a whole new life that you have no idea about. And I'll finish the way of a call coming. Billy Corbyn in the house, Miami. his favorite son. Hello, my friend,

how are? Bien, and you, my social, email. Ah, yeah, thank you.

What's going on? What is the state of Miami today? Drop it on me. It's hot. It is hot. Yeah, it's June.

Yeah, it's fucking humid, muggy. The alligators don't even come out. Yeah, it's a little scary today, too,

because it's getting to that intense heat where, like, Transformers, are exploding, not like the Michael Day kind, but like the electricity kind. And then the police just shot a homeless who was holding a stick this morning in a park in Overtown, you know, Overtown.

Yes. And I don't know, it's like it's feeling a little bit like do the right thing. Remember the end of the Spike Lee movie, you know, in the summer? Right. So you think they're going to go off a little bit? I don't know. We don't really riot here anymore. It's too hot, I think.

But people just don't get, like, engaged politically or civically. Fortunately, we don't riot. But I just mean, like, we used to riot all the time, you know, in this town. But it just doesn't happen like that anymore. If I tell you something, Billy Corbyn, I think we're going to have a national riot soon. I think that the country is beginning to – it's like a powder keg, they call it. This is a little too much lately. this fucking guy in Texas with the chick, the little kid,

what's going on here in L.A., what's going on in Miami. Either the media is blowing this cop thing up to get us up in arms, or something just isn't right lately. Well, I think something's a little off. There's no question about that. But I just disagree that there's going to be that kind of national explosion of violence. I just don't think that Americans do that. here you know we don't really take up arms against the system like that you know

we're pretty we're pretty you look at the malaise there's like a level it's like ah we all have enough we all have just enough that the government lets us have that we're cool with it you know just just don't don't abuse everybody or kill everybody and of course we're kind of a historically traditionally racist country too like we just are that's just the reality of our history you know I'm looking at this I remember being in a Chinese restaurant and a date going to do comedy and watching the Rodney King, all that stuff, you know, and that all went down here. You know, that all went down in the LA. All the riots.

Living, all the riots and stuff. And something happened this last week with that, the homeless guy. Did you pay attention to that? Yeah. Out here that got shot. He said they took the gun from six cops. He took one of the guns. There's six cops there.

It happened downtown. Did you watch that? No, I didn't see that. Zeal, whatever case. Then they said that he was, you know, justified shooting. And then shit got ugly. And they had to redo it. And now they're looking at two cops for it.

But if you see this, you could tell. They fucking shot this guy. He's a little fucking homeless guy. You know, he was a young 26-year-old, 25-year-old, 27-year-old. Oh, no. And that one made me think about that day I was watching that Rodney King thing. Like, that one made me think. It's been a little bad here, Billy Corbyn.

It's been weird here also. Yeah, I was living in Los Angeles during the Rodney King trial, and I, you know, the riots broke out, obviously, when the officers were acquitted, and we all had, you were all on lockdown, there was that curfew. I was living in Westwood, and we had an apartment that was kind of like on a hill, so we were on, like, the basement level, like, under the street. And finally, we climbed out. I remember the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.

series finale of the Cosby show, of all things, aired on that Thursday night. And Bill Cosby came on on the NBC affiliate in L.A. and, like, had this pre-show kind of, like, announcement, you know, this call for, like, calm and peace and justice. And then we watched the Cosby show finale and came up overground, and, you know, all the stores were, you know, had their plate glass windows broken. And it was, like, shit on the, you know, packages of, like, shit that have been looted on the ground and it's interesting that you say it kind of feels like like that again i get that sense here too but but not in the in the uprising kind of way i get it in terms of political environment and and the and the toxic relationship between the police and the community but i'm not

feeling it from in miami anyway on that activism level that you're talking about listen you know me i'm not i'm not a big activist but i'm seeing just fucking I live in L.A. And every two days in the morning news, it's something different. It's something fucking different, man. I don't think, I think that's kind of what we're talking. It's like not activism. It's not like they're trying to even make a change.

It's almost just like brawls a little bit. Just people are going, people are getting fed up with things, and they're going crazy. But the cops are going crazy. It's not the people. Well, people are going crazy too. How the fuck did that happen in Texas with that dude, stepping on the girl and putting a gun out?

You know what's going on all over. country. You know these people have fucking cameras in their phones. Yeah. Why are you acting a fucking mutt? Why are you acting like this? You know that they're watching cops. Let me let me tell you the unfortunate

legacy of the Rodney King's situation is that the lesson should have been, we are now seeing, or starting to see in that era, the ubiquity of cameras. You know, we didn't have them in our phones yet, obviously. We were, you know, 10 years away from that. But, but, but,

There are cameras everywhere, whether they're surveillance, whether, you know, people just have handy cams, you know, like we did in those days. And the lesson should have been everybody's got to behave themselves. And by the way, that's police, civilian, you know, everybody, you'll be on your best behavior. The eye in the sky is watching us all. And when they got to quit it, at Ronnie King, the lesson went out or the message went out to police officers that you are actually free to behave. Look at the guy in Staten Island, for Christ's sake. that was choked to death on camera and was not a charge by a grand jury, and where basically the defense was,

you're going to believe me or you're lying eyes. I mean, it's incredible. We live in very strange times. What's going on in your world? What's been happening, Billy C? Well, it's funny. It's kind of, you know, we always talk about these issues every time I come on, and we finally made a movie, you know, documentary in dogfight that we just released.

that kind of in its own way addresses, you know, these kind of racial issues, the income disparity, and I think everything that seems to be coming to a head in America now, and the way, you know, some of the inner city and underprivileged communities in Miami has dealt with it, is a sort of Thunderdome approach to economic recovery. And so I've been just completely consumed with the of dogfight. My favorite was the four black women that gave you the color commentary. after every fight. That was as interesting as fuck.

No pun intended with the color commentary, I hope. No, no, not at all. Fucking hilarious. You know, I had saw that guy before with Kimbo Slice years ago on TV. So as soon as I saw him, I was like, who the fuck is that? I saw him, you know, I've seen him before, saw him before. I've seen him before.

And it blew my mind that fucking thing. And the way you shot it, it just looks so, amazing. The shots, the punches to the fucking head, the dude knocked out. Oh, my fucking God. What do these guys walk with? How much money do they make for those things? Fifty bucks? Yeah, not enough, man. Not enough to take that kind of abuse. And more importantly, you know, they're running the risk of not only, you know, the injuries that they'll sustain from the other fighter, But if they kill the other guy in one of these illegal, unsanctioned backyard bare-knuckle brawl events, they're going to prison.

And the promoter, you know, Dada 5,000 is like the Don King of the backyard, who used to roll with Team Kimbo until he decided to do these kind of illegal block party, you know, fighting events and putting together his own cards. He could go to prison, too, just for promoting these illegal fights. And the purses for the fighters all are contingent upon how much cash they can. collected the gate. So they get, you know, $20 a head or $50 for what they call the IP, which are those plastic folding chairs around this make-shift 12 by 12 ring in Dada's mother's backyard. So they, I saw fighters win as much as $400 for a fight or, or

he would, Dada also would give like 50 bucks to the loser in a fight like that, or as little as $200 in a fight and $20 or $25 for the loser. And then these guys, they're basically go to the ER after they get their money and get patched up. Crazy. It shows how, I mean, it shows how bad things are getting. I mean, people are willing to do that to make a little. But it also made me, like, I thought when I was watching it, I think Joe would really like, like, some guys just going around when there's a parade saying there's going to be a fight,

and he sets up his backyard, and it's just, he's just doing it. It's American ingenuity. It's what I always talk about. Now, let me ask you this. guys that are fighting. Are they fighting? They make a money, they make, their living is fighting, or this is just what they do to take that money and go buy crack or whatever the fuck they're doing. I'm just asking. I don't know. I don't know what the motivation is. You know, I stole to make money to fucking snort Coke. You know, I didn't stay, and I didn't, I didn't have to steal Billy Corbyn, but it was the easiest path of resistance. You understand me? So for these guys, these hoods, what do they do? I mean, they didn't look like druggy. is nothing? I think it's a fair question. A lot of the guys are ex-cons.

A lot of them, you know, have been in and out of jail and at a prison. They don't have a lot of, or they feel like they don't have a lot of legit opportunity. And for better or worse, true or not, they believe that this is their greatest opportunity, not only the little money to help feed their families, but themselves, but at an opportunity to get discovered because that's what Kimbo. Kimbo is the godfather of the game. he's the one who established this, for lack of a better term, business model, where you videotape yourself fighting in these backyard fights,

you upload the footage and hope to get discovered by professional MMA trainers or promoters. And it happens. I mean, you know, it's a bit of a hollow victory, but we saw in the year and a half we were shooting, we saw like three or four guys go pro right from the backyard. And, of course, there was two guys that didn't even live that long. You always have an eye for, you know, in your doctor, I mean, cocaine cowboys, the one about the college rape, the fights and all this shit.

You're such a nice guy. You're such a sweet, you're like the Stephen King of documentaries, you know that? This was the darkest one for sure. This one, because I used to go to Miami a lot as a kid, and I used to drive not to that particular neighborhood, but neighborhoods like that. You know, when we used to go to Flagler or whatever the fuck my aunt was taking us, my guy. And I would look around and go, what the fuck do these people have? And now on the other side of that, listen, man, from the age of 14, and I'm not lying to you, from the age of 14 to the age of let's pretend on the short side, 17. I saw one of those every week, not one of those backyard brawes, but one of those styles of fight that were tremendous.

This country has forgotten about those things. That's where it all starts. We don't see fist fights no more in your neighborhood growing up. No, I... You said you saw one on Highland the other day. I wasn't there, but yeah, some guy filmed it. But I saw that shit growing up in neighborhood, you know, in my neighbor, when you left school at three,

somebody said, tonight behind the high school, Kenny Eadler's fighting this fucking guy. And you went and you got some beers, you got a couple fucking joints, and you sat on at 8 o'clock, and you saw two white guys beat the fuck out of each other. And then they stopped when somebody's nose got broken or somebody's tooth fell out.

And everybody got up and hugged, and we all walked away. Well, I think you hit the nail on the head earlier when you talked about sort of what people are willing to do and that this is a, you know, this is just another hustle. And I think that in a way, all of our documentaries have kind of been like these twisted tape on the American dream. You know, people who just, you know, we all wake up in the morning and figure out how are we going to get ours, how are we going to support ourselves or our families. And some people obviously had different opportunities than others or some people are willing to do, you know, they're willing to skirt the law. they're willing to get into a 12 by 12 ring and participate in what some people have said is tantamount to human cockfighting or dog fighting. And the truth is it, you know, none of us get to choose who our parents are.

You know, we're born and we've got to play the handwork dealt. And some people make good decisions. Some people make bad ones, you know, but we just all like, I always say I'm a white dude in America. I was born on second base, man, at least on first, you know. But some people aren't even born in the park, let alone the dugout. You know, they never get a chance at that in this country, you know? And people watch this footage in this movie, and they say, Bill, this doesn't even look like America looks like the third world. And I said, it is the third world.

It's Miami-Dade County. You know, we are the third world. You're a beautiful fucking man, Billy, for even going down. I'm watching them and I'm going, what is Billy thinking standing around with his little camera right now with two of his buddies and a sound guy? And there's 80 black guys that will fucking slice his neck at any minute they could just take them out. there and beat him up and bury you under the fucking ring. You know, Billy, what gave the idea to do this? What was the first thing that inspired you to do dogfight?

Well, we have an alt-weekly down here called the Miami New Times who had covered it. We all knew about Kimbo. Like you said, you saw Kimbo, you know, online and on TV way back when. But what we didn't know is that somebody had kind of, you know, the Dada 5,000, this guy, Daffir Harris had kind of taken up the mantle and started to organize these backyard balls. And as soon as we heard about him and his family, we wanted to tell that story. And I got to tell you, I was, with the exception of maybe one occasion where a fight outside

the ring broke out, I was never scared in West Brought. We always felt it was always very warm and welcoming, and it was like a block party, the whole theme. We had the best food ever, the best barbecue, the best fried catfish, the best seafood rice. I mean, everything was like, all the neighbors came out and turned into like a cottage industry for the block, you know, for the community. And I, I don't know, I just, I think also because we did cocaine cowboys and we did the U for ESPN 30 for 30 and broke. So a lot of folks like, well, like, respected us in our work and we're excited that we were just there telling the story

of a neighborhood that I think is mostly ignored and neglected by the media and even by the representatives and leaders and politicians. First of all, that neighborhood is my type of neighborhood. If you want me to lie to you, this neighborhood where I live in and people walk by exercising and they're all fucking white, I had to put a sign in front of my house the other day. I got a camera. If I see your dog shit in my yard, I'm going to

shoot you and the fucking dog and shove the shit back up your ass. Somebody took it down after three hours. But that's my point. They walk around, they got every opportunity to have class, but then they have no fucking class. They hide behind their color and their BMW and think they have

class. But, you know, it's like when I see I live two blocks away from the train station, okay? I see a BMW on my block or like a nice Mustang on my block. So this guy paid $500 a month for the car, but he don't want to go for an extra 10 for the parking spot. I scratch his fucking car. That's it. He'll never come to mind-fucking neighbor again.

I hate those motherfuckers. You know, they got no class. They got no fucking, you're going to buy a BMW in parking front of my fucking house and walk three blocks to save $10. Go fuck your mother, you fucking miserable fuck. That neighborhood, when I walk into that neighborhood where you tape that fight at, guess what, bitch, I know where the fuck I stand. You know, those people, that's what this country used to be about block parties. We've forgotten.

That's just a block party with a fist fight. That's all that is. That's a block party with a fist fight. The neighbors get involved. There's rice. There's food. There was kids there. They're throwing a fucking frisbee.

The sun's out. That's a fucking neighborhood. And I have to say at the time, unfortunately it's not true anymore, but at the time, you also saw, I think, some really exceptional community policing. You know, you saw the police dealing with people, you know, on a realistic level, you know, on the ground that, you know, not the way that lawmakers in Washington, D.C. or in Tallahassee here in Florida, you know, our capital think that people, you know, that criminals and lawbreakers should be dealt with. the reality of understanding the culture of a community and the police realized. You know, in a neighborhood, racked with crime, with drug dealing, with violence, they would suddenly be out on a Saturday afternoon, and it was quiet on the streets. People weren't out. People weren't selling drugs on the corner.

People weren't shooting each other or robbing stores. Where were they? They were in the backyard watching a fight. And yeah, maybe they were smoking weed and doing some gambling and some betting. But the only violence occurring in the neighborhood during those hours was between two consenting adults in that 12 by 12 ring and the police said, listen, you know, for as much as we can, you know, we'll have, we had plausible deniability. We don't know what's going on in this private backyard with the chanling fence and the blue tarp up.

If someone obviously calls 911, they'll do their job and they'll come out and do their thing. But why would they shut it down? Why would they, were they going to do want to tear gas over the fence and then like push everybody out of the backyard onto the street? That's just going to escalate a situation that doesn't need it. So for a while, the police handled that neighborhood with, I think, exemplary community policing. And again, unfortunately, the fights aren't going on anymore. And you have police basically arresting every black kid who's got out, you know, a nickel bag, you know, for no reason at all and completely destroying their lives and putting them into the system.

We have a real problem here. You know, in America, I mean, what, you know, black people are, what, 13, 18 percent of the population and white and black people use marijuana at exactly the same rate. and yet it's you're three times more likely to be arrested for a minor pot crime or pot possession if you're black in America. In Miami-Dade County, you're six times more likely to be arrested for marijuana if you're black in this county, which is crazy. It's crazy. Back to something you said before that. Right now, three-quarters, well, this is Joe Rogan's show, three-quarters of the people

because they're a smart, intelligent kind, whatever the fuck they're thinking this week. But an intelligent, somebody from, and I hate to say, there's something like from Kansas or somebody from a decent state that's listening to you, but that's exemplary of police work, would sit there and go, what's he talking about? They're breaking the law at all levels. But that's what the problem is. You can't arrest everybody.

And there's a story behind the crime. When I was a kid, I got in trouble every fucking 10 days, Billy. But when the cops got there, they listened to the story. You know, if you walk into a house, right, if you, if I get a 911 call, all right, for domestic violence, and I show up at Lee's, and I see his little Spanish girlfriend on the floor with a black eye, I got to take Lee in, you know? But if I get to your house and Lee's got a stab wound and she's got a missing tooth and there's drugs everywhere and this is the eighth call in three years, I'm just wasting my time. I'm really wasting. This is what they do. This is what they do.

They drug up. They fuck. Then they stab each other. This is what they do. This is their interpretation of love. This is not domestic violence. This is love in their fucking world. I'm going to break them up.

She's going to do more drugs. He's going to OD and then they're both going to die for no fucking reason. I go home. Listen, I clean them up. I make sure that there's no knives around. Got no guns. No. All right.

I'm leaving. I'm going to go home. Keep fucking. Keep eating that. Drink that violence. And there's couples like that. But in most white America's world, they're breaking the law. See, in my world, there's a black and white as a cop.

A cop's got to show up and analyze the situation. Half the people that get arrested shouldn't get fucking arrested in this country. Half of them. Half of them. Listen, hear them out. Anything here, it's two people having a misunderstanding. Let's fucking write them up. Let's give them a warning.

Let them get the fuck out of it. Right. And, Billy, how much do you think in that area? like they police themselves. Because like Joey said, you probably walked in there with $100,000 worth of equipment, but if someone stole from you, that would make them look bad.

And you're trying to highlight the area. So I would bet you probably had less of an issue in a quote-unquote bad neighborhood. Going in, we didn't know what to expect. So we took certain insurance measures, you know, in terms of the safety of the crew, our equipment. What could do in the event of a police raid?

What was to do in the event that Scott rang out? We didn't know. But after the first event, it seemed perfectly cool and calm. And I really credit Dada with that. He was an anchor. He was a force for good. And not only in the backyard, but in that community. And people just didn't want to fuck up and act a fool with Dada around, you know.

You didn't want to – I call him the mayor of West Burine. Nobody wanted to deal with that kind of pressure, is that I would say. And so we just felt safe. And like you said, the fighters are there doing this to get noticed, to get discovered, to make a name to hopefully create more opportunities for themselves. Again, for better or worse, I'm not kind of condoning these life decisions, but the decisions that we're making these fights were happening whether we were there or not. And so I think they were just appreciative that, like, as they called us, quote-unquote,

the cocaine cowboys guys, you know, came into their community and we're noticing these young men and what they were and literally they're fighting trying to fight their way out through a better life for themselves and their families it was a good film you did good man you know those type

of documentaries is bringing something to the forefront and a good documentary should rub your stomach a little way and like there was part of that thing and I was like what the fuck's Billy doing but then all the pieces came together you know like I'm like what the fuck and I like that about You have a great eye, Billy.

You're very good at what the fuck you do, man. I don't know what I'm doing, but you do. I just get you. I'm flying off of your lead, cock sucker. What's next in the racquetool world? Next up, we've got some really great doc projects that unfortunately I can talk about yet, but we are working on the script for the dramatic pilot

and adaptation of cocaine cowboys our documentary from 06. So we're finally moving ahead on that, and it's looking real good. We hope to be shooting that no later than next year. You know, I'm a Cuban drug dealer on the series, so don't forget about me. Y'all espionio, meto wallace,

what you need to say this. Really? I'm going to hire you to go back to Cuba with me so I could say hello to my sister. For everybody who's listening, I applied for my passport on Friday with an attorney. No way. And hopefully we get it.

I'm taking my wife and the baby to fucking Cuba to meet my sister and the rest of those motherfuckers. I'm also going to exhume my dad's body. When I'm there, I'm going to try to resume it, so I got a half a mill. Well, I should have gotten a half a mill in 66 from Prudential, the Rock Insurance, but my dad's death certificate was never signed. So it'll be 50 years of interest of half a million dollars. What do you think, Billy? Can I sign you a year?

piece and you come to the Cuba with me and we'll fucking dig up me seeing my sister and the whole fucking deal will uncover the truth about my mother about her stabbing the guy when she was 16 and killing them and they probably still got a warrant offer I'm in for 10%

fuck you 10% cuck sucker that's amazing I've been wanting to go since I've been wanting to go my whole life but certainly since they opened it up earlier this year I think that's outstanding that you're going I hope that all works out. I'd love to go with you. I really do. But I can't wait to see my sister. I can't wait to see

the look on the face. I got cousins and fucking uncles. You know, my uncle, my cousins are the national Cuban band. They're the touring band. Emmy Alfonso and Eki Alfonso, ex-Alfonso. That's what they do. It's the other side of my family. That's the Valdezis. That's my mom's side of the family. But my dad's side of Diaz is they're in common way. So I'm really thinking, of shooting this, going back and seeing it from my eyes. And I don't know how I'm going to do it. I like to do it rough, you know, Billy, like on a boat. Like a 12-man boat, we all go back there with the cameras

and see the rafts floating, the unmanned rafts floating at like the 50-mile. They say it like the 50-mile point. You say like deflated pieces of rubber and milk containers and wood from fucking rafts and boats that didn't make it. Oh, no. Yeah, it's fucking really eerie, they say. Have you interviewed one of those people, Billy, who did the raft trip?

I haven't interviewed them on camera, but obviously you're in Miami long enough. You meet people who came here by any means necessary. And what have they said to you? Have you spoken to them at all in detail? And when they tell you the story of that journey, those 90 miles, Jesus, fucking Christ. There's a cab driver in Vegas. Oh, yeah.

You're stories of people who did make it who were on board with dead people. you know, with people who didn't make it. And, I mean, there's just horrible stories and tragic stories about what people were willing to do to get to this country. All the more reason we should make this country the best we can make it because, you know, these people believe in this place and they're willing to risk their lives and the lives of their families to get here, which is a pretty powerful statement about America.

It really is, my brother. No, Billy, I really like dogfight, and I really wanted to talk to you. When you were in town, I didn't get to see you last time. I know you did Rogans. I know you're busy as fuck when you come in, but hopefully I'll be down there before the end of the year, and I give you a little hug, cuck, sucker.

How's the girlfriend doing? Well, you'll certainly be in Miami when the Cuban government deport you. They ain't fucking deporting me, guy, all right? I'm walking into that island. I'm telling them all to suck my dick. I'm personal friends with friends with friends, okay? You know people? You think they'll fucking deport me when I get?

get there? Well, I will say that if they do filate you, Castro's mouth would be much like a vagina, I would think, with teeth, though. No, they're not going to... Because of that beard, you know? He's too old. They're not going to fucking do nothing to me, man. That's it. We put them off

the terrorist list. Cubans aren't terrorists no more, so I think it's time to get my fucking passport. I'm not going to Canada. I'm not going to let me into Canada. If I get the passport, I want to go to England. I want to go to maybe Hong Kong and eat some twice cook pork and that's it

go to Cuba. What do you think? Maybe go to Israel and go down to the wall and leave a note. The promise land. The promise land. So you got some shit going on, Billy. I'm happy you had time to call in today, brother. No, it was a great fucking film, Billy. You did it again. You know, I thought

we broke. You busted the fucking bank, but no, you came back strong. You're like Led Zeppelin in the 70s. Every album keeps getting better and better, you know what I'm saying? Thank you. Thank you for inviting I love to call in any time I can. You know that.

I miss you. And you, uh, you tweeted something two days ago. Jesus Christ. Is this shit? That's the fucking TV show, Billy. 24 hours in Miami, like, and it's like CSI Miami or something, but you just, those stories that you fucking print up every day, that's a TV show.

This shit cannot be happening. And it seems like it only happens in Florida. Like, Florida has this fucking. Martian population and they infect everybody else with a touch or something these people act weird than fucking weird what was the one from two days ago

Billy two days ago you had something that had to fucking take my glasses off on the computer I can't remember what the fuck it is now oh shit I don't even remember I post I posted so many I mean there's the there was the woman who called 911 because her pot dealer

took her money didn't give her the weed no had um what do we have we had i love when you put that police pictures up like that book and photos there was 10 women who were arrested at a strip club because they gave like illegal lap dances to undercover cops which is ridiculous illegal lap dances yeah there's like they can't have contact there's like there's very specific ordinances governing lap dances. So the police, with all their resources, did an undercover lap dance sting at a strip club

and arrested 10 girls. Now, every city in Florida has different strip club rules, correct? Everything, yeah, every individual municipality in the whole state. Like what I could do in Fort Lauderdale, I might not be able to do in Miami. Oh, dude, what you can do in Miami, you can't do in Miami. Beach right over the bridge. So what do you mean? What can you do in Miami that you can't do in Miami Beach? Oh, great question. So in Miami Beach, they have a law. This goes back, you know, almost

100 years to the beginning of Miami Beach, which just turned 100 this year. In Miami Beach, you can have a topless bar that serves full liquor, but if you go full nude, you can't serve liquor. That's everywhere, though. That's a ridiculous. No, it's not everywhere. In Miami, you could full nude, full liquor bar. Really? Absolutely. Oh, I didn't know that.

I know, like, out here if they're nude, in Colorado, if they're nude, you can't drink, it's got to be B-Y-O-B. Oh, yeah, L.A., you've got, like, the pasties or whatever. Right. With what are my fucking ten?

I want to see a chick of pasties on a pussy. I go there. I want to see that fucking clit. Was it the iguana clogging the toilet? Did that freak you out? I just were looking at his Twitter. There was a lady finding an iguana in her toilet. Yeah, I can't deal with that.

That scares the shit out of me. You know, and... That's one of my worst fears. In New York, possums were coming up. No. And rats. And the fire department would come over and put a net, like a steel net in between the toilet seat and the toilet.

And they lift up the toilet seat and they would shoot it. Right through the fucking thing or stab it with a fucking knife. Tremendous. Tremendous. Billy Corby, I love you, Cucca. Good luck, and I'll see you in a few months. We'll call you. again and we'll talk some politics Miami

When are you running for mayor? He hung up already that fuck. Yeah. Let me give some shoutouts and we'll get the fuck out of here. See, folks, it turned into something. This is the way a podcast should be. A little conversation of me and Lee, a little chit-chat

with a good fucking guest. And we're out of here. Abadu? Babadu. The king of autism. How you doing, Cocksucker? Brandon Cruz, what's happening? A.K.A. Johnny Arch. I love you. Burbank 108. 818. You got help.

cock sucker. You've been away, I don't see. I got other people parking now on the block. Andrus Ortiz. You got a new church member there. Congratulations on your son or daughter. I saw the picture on Twitter. Very beautiful. God bless you. T. Bone, get it together. Charlie Powerhouse, you bad motherfucker. And Jesus Shadowsworth. You know Uncle Joey's here for you. What's up with you, Coxucker? What do you got playing for the weekend? I don't know what we got a plan this weekend. Oh, Paula got a scholarship. So she's going on Saturday night. She's bringing her mom. She only can bring one person. She's going to bring her mom. So I have Saturday night to myself, but we're going to go

to get dinner on Sunday. Beautiful. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Saturday, he comes to the store with your uncle Joey. Perfect. Got 10.45. You come out. You jump up and down. But it was really, uh, it really fucked with me last night that I realized, yeah, my father was big in my life. You know, I feel bad for my father. I really fucking do. Why do you feel bad for your father? My real father.

was a really good guy, man. You know, and all the conversations I had about him, there was just something about him. He was very generous, you know. We didn't pay from my mother's wake because the funeral director, he had helped out when he first came from Cuba. He brought him Christmas presents for his sons

and his daughters. My father was a decent guy. And he just fucking died, a weird debt. And my mother, my uncle, who had... I hate it. It's everybody. My uncle and me even stopped talking. We haven't spoken since Christmas Eve.

He says that he even said that my dad was a good guy. He goes, I don't know what he's doing. Your mom. Even he said. He said, I couldn't see the correlation. He was a big, good-looking Cuban-white dude, and he had personnel, he dressed nice and shit, and he worked hard.

And, you know, he had his faults. You know, he did some drugs, and that's what he died from. But I couldn't imagine being him. Like, I was looking at that picture. your mercy last night. I was thinking to myself, my last three minutes on this earth,

what would I think about? You know, while I'm laying on a bed or on a floor hit by a bullet or I'm having a heart attack, what are you thinking about, you know? And I know that from my conversations with people,

my dad was thinking about me, we were that tight, I changed his life. My mom said he was out of his mind until you came along when he was always with you. You know, I have no memories of what he looked like or anything,

but I do remember driving in a car with him, like him in a steering wheel, me being a steering wheel. I remember that in Cuba. In a Cadillac, yeah, I remember all that shit. I saw the pictures of his Cadillacs in Cuba, and it's just weird, and I've always

felt that he's watched over me really tight. Like, I've always really believed that in my heart and in my soul. A lot of times I'm indecisive and I'll get a thought to my mind or something, and I've always really believed that, you know, at times. You talk about what you think might have happened if your mom had survived.

How do you think your life would have been different if he had survived? Well, he was a businessman. You know, he was making a lot of money. And he was opening up Cuban restaurants and sandwich places. I don't know. But I know I wouldn't have walked around with this thing on my back. You know, I wouldn't have walked around. You know, I talk about being allergic to peanuts.

How you have a jacket on your back. When a parent dies in an early age, you don't have a jack in your back, like being a snitch or being a fag or having one foot or something. but you have this thing inside of you that you're missing something as a child, you know. I forgot that conversation with Mercitita, her name, but I do know that it didn't give me as much pleasure in doing shit as a child because everybody else had a dad

and I didn't. And don't get me wrong, I had a lot of love. I had my godfather would take me to the movies on Sundays and had friends of my moms and my mom's, you know, couples that treated me like, just like I was. was a son, but there was always something missing, you know. And just when I was starting to figure, you know, my mom remarried, and I guess I put stock into one as a dad, and I neglected, not, yeah, maybe neglected thinking about my dad. He was gone. But then as I got older, I started thinking

about him and what he wanted from me, what I heard from my mom. And I think him and my mom wanted me wanted me to be the, they just wanted me to be happy and to do something in my life, which I did. You know, I didn't do what they wanted. They wanted me to go to the service and be a fucking attorney and shit, but I ended up doing something with my life, which is big for me in my world. Hell yeah. You know, I can't believe, I can't believe it. I can't believe I end up doing something in my life.

Don't get me right. At all. At all. 20 years ago, I was still saying to myself, I can't believe I didn't do anything with my life. Well, now I got to not keep. patient, you know, and I did something with my life and I feel okay about it, you know. That's going to be crazy going back

to Cuba. Are you, are you even thinking about it at all yet? Are you just, it's too overwhelming? I've been telling a friend of mine Ivan Salivari, he was a UFC fighter, and Ivan's been trying to get me to take care of my paperwork in Seattle so I go back. But I spoke to Ivan last week. It's just

too much work. It's too much work for the bang. So why don't we just eliminate the Seattle Warren and just go for the fucking passport? They turn us down for the past then we have a fucking problem. But I finally got an attorney. I got a company on Wilshire that you pay them and they do all the legwork for you and everything.

Oh, cool. So I finally made the fucking jump. You know, I was very indecisive for a while. Canada, I don't know what's going to happen. I got to put some... That's my next move. Let's just get the fucking passport and let's see where we need to attack, you know?

Right. But I'm really happy that I fell asleep last night and I got up and I had that brain for it because now I kind of have an intro from my book, you know? What is the point of the intro? What do you want to get out of it? I want to let people know where I was when I, you know, where my mind was. Like, I would read, like, I did Nick Swanson's movie.

You know, the one that got. The porn one, right? Yeah, the one, the porn one, and Don Johnson was in it. And about a month after that, his wife had a baby or his girlfriend had a baby. And I sat there one day and, like, how selfish is this? to have a child at 54 or 55, you know, as a man. But then you, it happened to me, you know, and when it happened, it's something that it was an accident.

Like, it wasn't me and Terry weren't planning on having a child. So it wasn't like I was being selfish from the jump. But then I started thinking about my doubts, you know, and that's what the book is about, the intro is about the doubts I had and how I ended up being me, you know. I didn't have a dad, but I still made it. I still did something with my life, you know. I didn't have a mom, but I still persevered.

You know, I really wanted to get Darren Card on, and we can't keep, because Darren Carter's an orphan. He was raised in Sacramento in an orphanage. Oh, wow. And he's a great guy. He turned out great. And I really want to have him on to talk about his experiences in the orphanage and how the doubts he had grown up, whether the same doubts I had grown up. You know, I had, and then after 15, I had more doubts.

After my mother died, you have these doubts about society and who you are and why this happened to you. How can you know it when you're that young? That's the question you asked yourself. And that was where the anger comes from for a long time. That's why I wanted to shoot somebody. That's why my head was in limbo, because you can't figure out where this comes from. You're raised. You're raised Jewish.

You go to temple. I don't know what the fuck they'd tell you in temple. Jesus was a millionaire. He bought land. I don't know what the fuck they'd tell you, you know? It's pretty much the gist of it. But in church, they tell you that there's a God, and he created you, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And this is me at this age. This is where I turned to first for the answers. Because I didn't have the answers. So who do you turn to? You turn to your God, who created everybody or who they fucking told you made everything. And guess what? He got no answers.

He don't take collect calls. He's got no fucking. He don't take collect calls, God. So there you are sitting there, thinking to yourself, what the fuck, you know, how do you figure it yourself? So you get pissed off at God first. So you get pissed off at whoever your God is, you know, they took away the most important thing in your life. Who do you get pissed at?

When somebody runs over your grandmother as she's coming out of rouse, that's one thing. You could go to jail and send him hate mail. But when your mom dies and natural causes, you can't figure it out, you know, and why this happens to you. I have a friend of his dad died three years ago. He calls me once a week. In fact, let me tell you an interesting story. I got an email from Gary the other day. A friend of mine, Gary Harmon, I grew up with.

Gary was whose family I stayed with when I was in the Lamb in 82 in Sarasota when I went to see Road Warrior every day. Right. He fucking just called me out of the blue. That's crazy. And we hadn't spoken in about two or three years, and he still lives in Sarasota. He hasn't seen Mr. T. You know, I asked him, you're bump into tea yet. He goes, no, I haven't.

But the beauty of it is that we, he said to me, I really got to tell you. something, man, my dad passed. He went through a hard time. And he passed about a year and a half ago. Excuse me. And he says that not one day he doesn't think about me. Because he says as a grown adult, he has this pain. He's 52, like me. He says he has this pain of missing his father and how he didn't do the right thing in front of his father for a long time. And he goes that he thinks about me, how hard it must have been for me. So he called me. He lost my number also. He went online and emailed me on the webpage and said that he wanted to know how I did it those years and how hard was it for me. And I don't think it was hard because I was like you.

I was focused on, you know, when my mom first died, I was focused on what did you say before? I was selfish. It's just, you're a kid. You're a kid, yeah, yeah. You're focused on getting your dick sucked and playing basketball and smoking pot and let's get it. So that was the conversation. And I really have thought about that with Gary. I'm very fortunate because I still talk to those friends and they give me like a slight reminder from time to time that what happened.

And I like thinking about it for like a minute, but then I take my mind out of that right away because I don't want to lurk there. That's why the book has been hard for me at times because there's times I go there. The main important thing for me when writing this book would be the period of what happened after my mom died. To me, I still want to tap in to what my mindset was, those seven or eight years before I went to prison. I would really love to present it to you people to show you what the fuck I was thinking about and where I came back from. Like, I know people come to me after shows and they go, Joey, you know what, man, I did this and this and this.

I'm really having a hard time. I don't even know where to start, you know. Right. I don't know where I started either. I just know I had a desire not to be at that place. Is it part of the issue you're having, though, is that you always, you say that a lot that when you're having thoughts you don't like, you stop yourself from thinking about it. Do you think maybe you have to let yourself go?

over there, kind of like, sort of for it? Sure, sure. You have to. You have to, you know. And it hurts sometimes, you know, but you have to go to that area and sit down. And sometimes I'll put a song on from that time to really take me there. That sets it off, really? Yeah, sometimes something from that time will set it off for me. The other day I was in the car, it's in the Ozzy's Bone Yard. And I heard Sabbath bloody Sabbath.

And that takes me back to that time. It sparks that little anger I had. At that time, it wasn't the pain. as much as the anger. It wasn't the confusion as much as the anger. You know, after somebody dies, you have this big hunk of confusion. It's just fucking, it's a

bad dream that doesn't shut off. And there's a part in your mind when you're like, I'm going to shut this motherfucker off. Right. Get up, go brush my teeth, have breakfasts, and move on with my life. This dream is getting out of fucking control right now. But it's not a fucking dream.

It's your life. It's so surreal that it feels like a fucking dream that you're living through it. It's so surreal. real when you're walking the steps and, you know, making funeral arrangements and talking to your friends about her life and what your next move is. And this has to be with everybody. This is why when somebody passes and they post on Facebook or something, I always write something now. I always, because I wish somebody would have wrote something to me in those days. There was no

manual. There was no YouTube. Especially at 15. At 15. There was no nothing. There was nobody I could turn to. I only knew one person, Regina Gordon, who her mother died, and she was my age. and I could see that she was a wild card. So I knew that or eventually I'd become a wild card. I was always wild, but this was going to fucking just make me even crazier. Were you wild before your dad passed away? Well, I was three, so.

Because it's just, we were speaking with Steve about how, like, you don't know what's going to affect kids. And it just, if you were that close with your dad, like, do you ever think maybe like that? Oh, yeah. But your anger comes from. Oh, sure. Yeah. It must. and issues of abandonment, you know, like I get pissed off sometimes, like at certain things with Terry.

Like when Terry goes home, I get a little, my feelings get hurt sometimes. That might be issues. Sometimes when I leave my feelings, you know, but at least I'm big enough. I've known this for years, you know. Sure, my mom said that for years. Every time the door would open, I would stop what I was doing and look at the door, whether it was at the bar or at the house. That fucking killed me when I was open.

older. Yeah. You know, because I would read the, it always, he always interested me. The people that I grew up around were always dear friends with him. Like the, the really people who kind of took care of me growing up were really good friends of them. They weren't the best people. They weren't the best quality of people.

But they had something that I have today and they passed on their heart, you know. You know, I was talking to Randall, the guy I'm writing the script with about a character to name Tati. Tati was a 24-7 bad guy that had grown up with Manolo. He had grown up with my dad. He was just a, you know, he was a murderer. He took drugs and people and shot him and had no remorse. And he was fucking nuts. But he loved me in a way. He had no sons. So in his eyes, he was my son. You know, when I was in the sixth grade, he gave me coke one time in a capsule when he went to get me a haircut. He used to take me to the city to get haircuts. Yeah.

When I was, like, in the sixth and seventh grade. And he told me once it goes, I saw that skinny girl by the house the day. You eaten her pussy yet? And I didn't know what to say. I'm like, no. How old were you? I'm like 11 or 12. And he gave me, like, this fucking capsule filled with cocaine.

And he's like, next time she comes over, eat her pussy with this cocaine. I'm like, how crazy is this? I had that little capsule from the back of my drawer. I hadn't buying like a notebook so it wouldn't roll out when you open the drawer. Oh, wow. And one day my mom came in like, I phone the one. She's like, Tati just fucking told me that he can. I gave you a little bit of a coat for fucking, put on a girl's pussy, and you took it?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Give me that right now, and I'm like, I don't have it. What you do? I threw it away. I had it. I never fucking, I think, I remember. I think I gave you back. That's hysterical.

But Tati was, you know, Rodolfo Castrione, the guy in Miami that raised me. Rodolfo was a great guy. He was type of Manolo, but Rodolfo brought it. Rodolfo went to fucking jail for murder. He brought it, bro. These are friends of my father's that my mother honored after my dad died, you know, Like she couldn't not call them back. They wanted to have contact with me.

They wanted to give me money. They wanted to be there for me. You know, so these people he left in my life, I learned a lot from, you know. It was this guy, Pepe Goho. Goho means that you have a limp. You know, Pepe was a friend of my dad's in Cuba, and he came back, and he used to date this woman at my mom's bar, and he ended up knocking her up, and they had a kid together.

And Pepe and I were tight growing up. Pepe and me, I was there when Aunt Garron hit the home run, 715 broke. Oh, no way. I was like a little boy at his house. I still remember him having a daughter. If I'm 52, the daughter's got to be 49, maybe 48 to 47. I was a few years older than her. Okay.

You know, and I remember being at the house with him. He taught me how to shoot a gun when I was a kid. He taught me how to play baseball. Pepe was a big healthy guy. And one day, him and my mom got into an argument over me. I gave Pepe a hard time and Pepe pushed me. And I went home and told my mom, my mom called Pepe and went off on him.

And I knew Pepe's mom, I knew the wife, the daughter, you know, my mom was friends of him. And after my mom died, one day I was walking down Bender Street and the horn blew and it was Pepe. And he goes, how you doing? You thought I forgot about you. I'm here to give you some money. He must give him like two grand.

And he gave me the money. his number in Miami and then I lost contact with him. But he had good friends, man, that cared about me, you know. They were just from a different cut. They were, uh, there were no fucking reverends or preachers, you know? No, but that doesn't, I mean, that's, uh, it's kind of what you're talking about with Billy, how, like, people, like, white people, like, really, like, don't understand. Not even just white, but just people like that.

People like my parents. But I was leaving here, I think it was yesterday. And it's, it's not the worst street, but it's like, you know, it's like, you. not like the, it's like a lower middle class street. But these little kids were out in the, in, like, in front of their house, and I don't have a lawn, it's just all cement, but the mom was like spraying, like, a hose at them, and it's having the best time. And it just, it just, it really, I don't know if it's because I was really stoned or what, but it really stuck with me how.

Simplicity. Yeah. Simplicity. You know, that neighborhood and dogfight is a neighbor that has no opportunity really. Like I said, I'm surprised the cops were even there. Usually the neighbor, those cops don't go in there. But when you saw the cops stand there, they knew exactly what was going on, what everybody stood. And that's why I like about those neighbors.

You know where you stand. And my neighbor, it's a great neighbor, but people don't pick up dog's shit. So ain't that fucking great neighbor because somebody in the get able to got a terrible fucking character. It's all over the place. So these people have a nice dog, have nice houses, and they just don't pick up their shit. You know why I don't

get a dog Lee? Why? Because I'd be there. If I had a bendo with a plastic glove, pick a shit up and talk to somebody as I'm throwing that away with that warm shit in my hand. And not because shit goes right through the fucking baggie. I don't care. In my world, you don't touch shit, okay? Yeah.

I don't even like wiping my ass and getting a little frickin' shit on my finger. I stop what I'm doing, and I steam bath my fucking finger, okay? That's how, I don't like shit. So that's why I don't get a dog. You people want to know, that's why. I ain't picking a fucking dog shit, okay? There's no way my bendoanol with a baggie of that hot, steamy shit,

I will puke my fucking breakfast up right there. So let's avoid this right now. The cat litter boxes, they're in fucking cat litter. And it ends up looking like a health bar, like one of those fucking granola bars. And I looked the other way, and they shit in the middle of the night. It's not they shit fresh and it's steamy

with those peanuts on top, and I got to pick it up and it's still stinking. It's not. Me picking up fresh shit with a baggie is not happening in my fucking lifetime. You understand me? I'll come back in an hour when it's nice and cool and it's hardened.

those little hard, those little stick, those little shits that freeze up, I'll pick those up and throw them at you. I don't give a fuck, I've done that before. When shit's when it's warm? When shit's hard, I'll pick that shit up and put it under your door handle. So when you open up the door handle, you get shit on your fingers. I've done that a thousand times the motherfuckers on my block that think they're fucking cute. But as far as, you know, they're why? What do they do?

You know, they take like they park and they take like four feet in front of them and four behind them, really? You know, take two spots. Here you go. Here's a piece of cat shit for your freshman cat little factory. And you see him out in the car. And that one, once you break a piece of shit, listen, shit stinks. But you don't know what stink is that you break that motherfucker and have. That's when those inner gases come out of there and shit.

Forget about it. Do you sit there and wait for them? No, I may believe through the window. I'll set them up. You know what? Once I put cat shit in that door handle, they will never park on that fucking block again. Because they got to drive home with that shitty hand. Are you fucking kidding me?

like you with that little Jew finger, that little Pontchus pilot finger you had the idea. Are you kidding me? You got to drive home with that shitty hand smelling a cat shit or they got to go into Denny's. But guess what? That cat shit's going to smell the whole fucking way home. So I'll remember who the fucking Uncle Joey is for the rest of their life. Let's give a shout out to some sponsor. Wreck this motherfucker up.

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fucking their snacks are delicious, nutritious. You know, you can eat them. They have a resellable, so you don't have to be a fucking animal. When I open up a bag of chub, lays chips, it's a big bag. You know, I don't walk on one leg. We're going to eat three chips and put it away for later. Fuck that shit. You eat the whole fucking thing, and there goes you fucking diet for the day.

There goes your waistline. There goes your fucking trans fats and all that shit. You don't worry about that stuff with NatureBox.com. You open up the fucking pretzels, the cunk-prout pretzels. You don't like them? fucking seal them up. You only had three of them. You seal them up. That's why I like they're nutritious. Nutritionalist approved.

They're fucking delicious. And you know what? They're healthy, all right? Zero trans fats. And they're going to work for you. And the best thing about all, they're free bitches. Okay? Nobody slings dick like that for free. If they didn't think they'd have a good product. They're going to sing you three big bags. Two big bags and three little bags.

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I like to thank all my guests this week. autism, Billy Corbyn, my main man, fucking Steve Simone. Don't forget, next week I'm in Salt Lake City, and the week after that, Laugh, Boston. Lee, what's up with you, Cockley? I put out a Flying Jew Radio with Paula yesterday talking about law school. Okay. So I'd appreciate if they go check that out.

And what kind of scholarship she got? She got, um, it's like, it's just a whole, there's a whole bunch of group of them. She doesn't know which one she got yet, but it's, uh, it's going to be a little bit of money, so she's excited. They only picked, like, eight people from each school. Uh, it's between, 7,515 grand, so they'll find out.

With a minimum of 7,500. Yeah. That's sushi dan. I know. Trust me. I'm the fucking on. Trust me. I'm ready. I'm ready to retire. You bet, motherfucker. Have a great weekend. Thank you very much for watching, listen, or whatever the fuck you do with the church. Now that the show is over, don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free

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No flexing Didn't even look in a nigger's direction As I ran the intersection Went to show dog's house They was watching you on TV wraps What's the haps on the craps Roll them in a circle of niggas And watch me break them with the 7. 7-Eleven

7-Eleven 7 even backed up the cash floor And I'm yelling Domino Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central nigger's house pe. I've been trying to fuck sister 12 gray. It's ironic. I had the rule. She had the chronic. The Lakers beat the sense.

She didn't hesitate. She hit the three. Everything had worked out. It's often then chunked out. Today was like one of those five dreams didn't even see a berry flashing those high. Throwing up halfway home and my pages. Today I didn't even have to use my AK. I gotta say it was a good