The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #294 - David From Los Gummies Hermanos

Episode Date: June 24, 2015

David, Owner and one of the minds behind Los Gummies Hermanos, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron. Blue Apron sends gourmet recipes and all the fresh ingredients you need to make them right to your door. Use code word Joey and get your first two meals free! Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   
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   Music:
 Kettle Whistle - Janes AddictionSabotage - Beastie Boys

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and they're also going to offer you free shipping in the United States and Canada. Take your time late. Don't worry about nothing. It's playing. It should be playing. What the fuck is going on here? It's the church of what's happened.

Now, bitches. Wednesday. What is it? The 24th or the 25th? Fourth. Fourth? 24th of the month. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive, people.

It's going to be July pretty soon. Have you thought about that shit? Yeah, I have. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Lee Syatt. My man. Peter and David.

Well, David's walking around like a good, sir. You're David. I get confused. You know, I smoke these blow-toed things. Crank that motherfucker Lee. That's Allison Chains. Oh, Allison Chains. That's, uh...

Chains Addiction. Chains Addiction. Oh, shit. That, uh, that, uh, that, uh, that, um, that much. Blow torch got me all fucked up. Oh, fuck. Turn out of Lee. Oh, shit.

Kick it, Lee. Oh, shit, Lee. Wiggle that, motherfucker. The church, bitches. Pacific. East time. You're early tonight? Who's better than you?

Who's better than you? East Coast. Fucking quarter of the nine. We're popping into your fucking atmosphere and shit. Uncle Joey here. Lee Syatt, my main man, fucking David, Peter. Which one? We'll just call you both.

David and Peter. The Apostle brothers over here. What's happening? Wednesday night, special edition, church. Fucking beautiful day to be alive. Hot and fuck today. I don't know what we put on this fucking green frog t-shirt. Nah, MMA junkie gave me this in Vegas.

I never put it on. I thought there was going to be a little cool. You have the AC on at your house? Oh, like a motherfucker. The AC blasting today. It's been hot as fuck. Yeah, but it's great, man. You know what I've been thinking about?

And it's kind of girly? I would love to get a convertible at some point. Like, I don't know if, I don't want the Mustang one. But, like, I live in California. cool to have a convertible. I don't know. You should also get a fucking helmet because there might be an earthquake and you might get hit with a fucking building. Did you ever think about that?

I'd die anyways at that point. Get it together, all right? You don't want a convertible? No, you don't want people to know you're fucking in the car. You want to drive invisible. That's your goal in life. That's fucking, that's the upbringing I had. Even if you got $10 million, you fucking drive, you keep your mouth shut, you keep the music down, you're like an animal, and you just drive.

If you're on the five, you blast the fucking music, you know what I'm saying? But you're going to drive with a convertible With your friends waving like you're a politician I don't want to wave it anybody Get the fuck out You ever see how goofy they act on sunset You can always tell when they're tourists

They blast and they don't know the wind Your hairs have, get the fuck Put the fucking thing down right I don't have hair Not you but girls The hairs everywhere And they're driving on sunset And they're making them believe

Like they're having a good time Knock it off All right Just get the fucking car with the hood on it And put the AC on Everything would be good How was the drive? Hot

Can you imagine what That fucking convertible, you'd sizzle. You'd sizzle in California. That's a myth. You got to put on SPF number fucking minus four. Even when you run that fast? I thought like if you were running that fast. Oh, fuck yeah, man.

I remember going through, dog, I remember driving with Josh Wolf through fucking Lake Havasu with the sunroof open on the Saturn. And we had Vizene in the middle of the fucking thing. And just the sun hitting the Vizene when we got there. We got to put Vizene eyes. He put it in his eyes. first, his eyeball sizzled

for like 10 fucking minutes. I've done that. Okay, you know. Listen, man, that shit that's in the movies. They do it nice and everybody's hair gets frozen and you're like, I can't wait to go to the car. I did it one time. I got to California somebody like a year in. I got

in somebody's car that was a convert, it was a jack-off anyway, like we're going to a meeting or something. I was never so embarrassed. Really? Yeah, I was never so embarrassed. I've never been in a convertible. Oh, I was never so embarrassed. I don't like none of that shit When I go to a restaurant

I want to sit in the back I don't want to sit in the front I eat Alfresca Who the fuck eats Alfresca With germs and dog hair And allergies and your fucking food You know what I'm saying? The worst one of that

Have you seen eat on Magnolia That one It's like right on that worst part of Magnolia Yeah yeah One time I'm gonna It's eat It's a good They have pretty good food

But they have outside dining Like literally in the alleyway Because they have no seating And so at one time I did it's like why am I sitting In the alleyway like an animal You want on Magnolia That little shit

strip of fucking Momoville there. That's the death over there. Death, death! They got a place called pie. Okay? Now, who the fuck don't eat pie? Who the fuck in America don't want a fucking piece of pie? All right? They've been there for two years since Mercy was a baby, baby, baby, baby. We went

to that eat for fucking lunch. First of all, we went to that eat, and I don't know what the fuck happened. It just blew. We went down with her breakfast. And then we walked over to get a piece of pie for my wife. She was pregnant. It was 20 fucking minutes. So I said,

How can you wait? They made it for you right there? No, no, no, no, no. They take the order. She gives the ticket to a chick who takes it to another chick, who takes it to another chick, who then leaves it there for five minutes. Then a chick takes it to another chick. You know, it's...

It's fucking drama, dog. I don't want no fucking drama. Besides that, how was Jitsu last night? You're digging it? Oh, my God. Zach asked me that. And I'm not having fun yet. Like, it's not...

I have fun talking with everybody. You were right about that. Like, a lot of the guys are really cool. But Zach asked me, I'm like, I'm not having fun, but I'm still going to come back because I got beat up last night. Just, I don't know. It was just hard for me last night. That geek gets fucking heavy.

In the year, you're going to sit there, and guys are going to walk in like you, and you're going to go, wow. The only thing that's different than me and that guy is I've been coming for a year. And your mind's going to blow. You're fucking going to be blown up. Yeah. Just keep going. I've always said this to be.

I was looking for something else. I'm not the type of guy that's going to join the Knights of Columbus and go down there once a month and pay dudes, dang out with a bunch of dudes and eat pretzels and talk about your wives and your mother-in-law. That's never been attractive to me. I'm not going to fucking join the Dart League. I don't want to do nothing that has alcohol involved.

Do you know what I'm saying? I don't hate alcohol. I don't hate alcoholics. It just drives me crazy. When I'm a circle of people, I've got to tolerate drunk fucking shit. How they act when they're trying. you don't like you don't like it.

And it's funny when you see four guys on TV talking and they're drinking and they're eating popcorn and they're watching like a sports game, America has adopted that lingo. Sometimes you go to a home and there's four guys doing the same thing. It's so cliche. I always hated that shit.

It always drove me fucking crazy. So I knew I wasn't going to join. Listen, once I joined the Boy Scouts and I didn't like it, I knew I wasn't involved for a team thing. But I always like going to martial arts. There was something about martial arts that the kids were cool.

They got punched in the face, so everybody knew where they stood. That's basically what it is. Joe says it best about people that go to Jiu-Jitsu. Why they're so nice because they know at any time you could kill them. I could choke you out or you could choke me out, you know? I think that's the part I still haven't gotten over yet. Like the dude who's been wrong with me throughout the four classes is a lot smaller than me.

And like every time I grab them, I'm like, I don't, I'm not used to, like, hurting somebody. No, no. And it's like, they're like, pull your arms here. I'm like, I'm going to hurt. Like, not even that I'm strong. It's just like, he's like 1.30. Right.

So I'm like, oh, my God. You're doing him a favor. He's learning from you. He's going to be really good in six months because he's going to learn how to move your weight, how to put his hand under your neck and lift up an inch and then slide and go back to his guard. Well, since people, I've never, I haven't even asked Zach this yet, really. But I have short arms and short legs. so all the chokes are really fucking hard for me.

It's hard for me to get all that deep up and then keep my body where it's supposed to be. Like yesterday, we were doing this throw from the back where you had to like grab them around the waist and then twist and then... Pick them up and throw them over your leg. Right. And I couldn't get my elbow to where it needed to be.

I had to be like down by his ankles to get it there. So if anyone has any good moves for someone with short arms... Well, Hika Machado has a great point. He always says, Don't make Jiu Jitsu work for you. You make Jiu Jitsu. Well, something. You know, and it's true.

Out of all the moves, you're going to learn a bunch of moves that you're not going to be able to do, but you're going to learn a lot of moves that you're going to be able to do that are for your body type. The same way I might not be able to do those. The same with my man here might not be able to do those.

So there's different moves you adapt to and you pick up along the way and you get really good at it. Even if there's three moves, all you need is one fucking move. What does Rhonda Rousey win with every time? time. Arm bar. Okay then. Why do you

think she does that? Because she could pop it from anywhere. That's jiu-jitsu. Once I go for that arm, it's night-night Irene. It's all over with this shot. I'm not going to stop until I get that fucking arm because I've gotten it like that so many times. It's being very tenacious. At what point do you start actually like putting the practice

into motion? Because we actually rolled for the first time last night two times and this one that blew my mind. The guy was wrong with did the move we were doing in class. Like he got my back and then he like twisted me and then put, like, did a backwards hip escape and then got me up with the thing.

And I was like, we just practiced that. And, like, I was, I had no idea what to do, so I was just trying not to get tapped, I guess. But, like, at what point do you start being like, oh, I should go for that? The more you go. The more you go. Listen, I've been going for two years.

I just started doing it about three months ago. That's how bad I am. So the more you go, and the more you roll around with dudes and the more you get adapted to it. Once you start going for it, it's like anything else. Once you start winning and gambling, you go back to it. Once you start, I'm not even saying winning.

A guy like you and me, once we see little improvements, we go back because now we know we could do it. You know what I'm saying? It's like when you... You got to get rid of the jitters first. Yeah, when you started making these products, right? You failed a couple times. Yeah.

You weren't fucking Johnny Bananas right off the fucking gate. Yeah. Sometimes, oh shit, this is what we needed to do. Fuck! You learn as you go along. You learn as you go along. And you progress. And then, you know, it's, but you have to stick with things.

And there's nothing more. But things that work. Right. Well, the more you do it, you'll find out what works and what doesn't. And you cut the fat out of the process. And there you fucking go. You know, I mean, we've done that with podcasting. We go along and see what works.

You know, you put out a podcast on a Friday, it don't work. Right. People don't download it. You know, it's just very rough. You don't put it out on Friday then, yeah. You have to social media. You can't, you know, there's just so many, this, listen, and jujitsu, what I like about jujitsu is that once you get it, you realize it's steps. It's the same steps every time.

But there's so many fucking steps. Like the elbow has to be here. That, that, oh, it's fucking hard. That, dan, dan, dan, dan. It steps. It's a rhythm. Ba, pa, pa, pa, pa. And then you realize that everything you do in your life is kind of a fucking rhythm.

You know, when you walk, when you're on fire, when I'm doing comedy and I'm on fire, if you really listen to what I'm saying, You're not laughing at the words. It's that rhythm. It's we're in a rhythm. You're throwing and I'm going right back and it's working. It's working. I know how to do it now. I'm timing your laugh and you're timing my last word.

Comedy is a fucking, they think that, you know, it's really fucking weird, but it's because I've done it so long. Well, you must have it happen where, like, I don't know how to describe it, but like in the anatomy of a joke or whatever, if you skip one part of it or you skip one, one laugh, you do or whatever you do, it doesn't work. So it's like in jiu-ditsu, if I don't close my knees when I throw them down,

they're not going to fall, or whatever it is. Like, if you forget something, it must, like, it could, like, one little piece could derail your whole thing. I've said since I started doing jiu-jitsu, my comedy has improved. I've said this over. And over and over again, I've said this.

Look, good. What's up with you, Tarzan? Talk to me. I'm high as fuck. I'm high as fuck. I'm high as fuck. Me too. Cool. Yeah, if I'm high as fuck, then he's high as fuck.

I had an audition today, guys. It was the weirdest audition I've had in 15 fucking years. When I moved here, I used to get weird auditions. I go to see this guy at 5.30. And you walk in the guy would say, put your hands on the table. What? Put your hands on the table. And you put your hands on the table and they take pictures of your hand, they go, thank you for coming down and you leave.

Yes. Put my mic on a little louder. I'm not hearing it. You know, I would go in for a table. I would go in for auditions like that. Oh, Joey, they want to see you. All right, send the sides to Lee's house. There's no sides.

What do you mean? There's no fucking sides. Yeah, they want you to make up a character and go in there with the fucking character. And then it started getting around that people were doing at the right shows. Like you come in with a character. They don't hire you. Then they keep the fucking character. Little things.

I'm all right. We got a call coming in. Oh, shit. What's up? What's the one on? Who's this? Sweetie. Gordon, you're going to so, too, Rio.

Yeah, you were calling me, but I had my phone inside the house and I was outside. All right, what's happening, brother? That's weird that you called just now. Huh? I'm sitting here with your nephew. We were just starting the podcast and shit. Yeah, yeah, what's up? I told him you want to move to California and be the CEO.

What's the CEO? He said that he doesn't hire felons. No ex-felons. No ex-felons. So I can't be hired either. Pardon you. We're going to have to give him some work, though. He wants to get out of Jersey.

He wants to come out to the warm weather. He's getting old now and shit. Yeah, I've got to help him get on his feet like the subprong. That's right. We've got to get him on his feet. You've got to give him an envelope and get him on his feet and shit. Look at him. What's going on, Papa?

Nah, he's everything good. What can I say? Everything's good. Jesus Christ, when I talked to your nephew last night, I was sitting there, and I looked up, and I'm like, fuck, how long do I know, Tweedy? How fucking long? I mean, I met you when I was like 10.

And I'm 52. I don't even want to ask you how old you are, because if I met you when I was 10, and you're still around, Jesus Christ. But you're one of the last ones, Tweedy? I'm 61. So I met you, I was 10, and you were 19. How old were you when you got married?

21. He got married? Right 10. 19. 19. All right. That's when I fucking went to your wedding and everything. Holy shit. That was a long time ago. You were the guy? A long fucking time ago.

And then you married her. You stayed with her for a while. But I don't know what the fuck happened. And that was I separated. And then two years later, we went back again. They didn't work. So we both went on ways. Okay. And I didn't see you for a couple years. And then you popped into my life in the spring of 1983. And I started going down to visit you. You give me $20.

You talk to me and shit. And I started talking to you about Colorado. And I said, I'm thinking of moving to a place called Aspen. What do you know about it? And you were like... Asper, I lived there. I lived there, bitch. Yeah.

I even know the name of the street, Maroon Creek Road. Maroon Creek Road. And the name of the business was Far East Treasures. There was one fucking carpet in the window. That's it. I, uh, we lived, uh, the next house over, Jack Nicholson. The actor, he had a house next door to us. I was a long, I remember I used to walk up there and walk around.

I was trying to look for you. I would leave you messages on that number. Yeah. That was a long, fucking time. That was great over there. That was nice. I was beautiful. I was living like white people up there.

Why do they call you Tweety? Why do they call you Tweety? My big head. I'm Tweety, Twitter. I was always nice, but I was always doing bad things, like Tweety, and getting away with it. So after I went to Colorado, I didn't talk to you for a while,

and I came back from Colorado and I went looking for you. And what had happened? Well, I caught that case in the Bahamas in 87. I was gone until 89 over there. In the fucking Bahamas. Who gets arrested in the fucking Bahamas for drugs? Well, we got arrested.

How is the jail in the Bahamas? It's like the Pirates days. Old cells, no bed, no running water, and shit and piss in buckets. That's fucked up. They dump the buckets twice a day. Do they speak English? I think they do, right? Yeah.

French. French and English, right? French and English in the Bahamas, correct? Uh-huh. French and English. Jesus. I was locked down all day long. No letters home, nothing like that.

Nothing like an American person. You know, I always found the way of sneaking them out. They will come visit me once a month. I had some friends there in the Bahamas. They were always leaving me food there. So, you know, I mean, it was bad, but it wasn't that bad. I always had what I needed. And when did you get out of there?

Two years I did over there. So 89? In August of 89, I think it was. August of 89. of 89, I was still in the halfway house. And I didn't go back to New Jersey until 91. Now, when I went back to New Jersey in 91, I went looking for you, and I hooked up with Juan.

Where were you in 91? Miami. And you were free? Yeah, it was free. For how long? Well, I got out of 89, 90, 91, and I caught this case in 92. And that's the one with the television and all that stuff. Yeah.

That's how I connected with your nephew. Fucking tremendous, Tweety. And you know what? I never stopped thinking of you. I always thought he. I would go to West New York. I was living in Colorado, and I went back. I hadn't talked to Juan for six years.

And I went back to New Jersey. I walked up to 57th Street like a man. He had a little bodega in the middle there. Did you get to see it? In the middle, he bought like an ice cream stop, an ice cream shop, and I went in there, and he talked to me. He was really nice. He bought me lunch.

I thought he was going to kill me. but no, it was really cool, and then I asked him about you, and he said, you had been locked up, didn't I see you on TV with the plane, throwing it out of the fucking plane? I knew nothing. I was living in fucking, you know, I was living up there wearing sneakers and sandals like your nephew, make him believe.

My name was Joseph. And now you're out, man, 20 fucking years later. Yeah. And I reconnect with you through your nephews, because I told the story on the Joe Rogan podcast, over a joint. And they came to see me at flappers and told me who they were

that they were Tweedys cousins and nephews from West New York and here we all are together in one room and now they're fucking up in San Francisco with a beautiful company. They brought me some edibles. I'm fucked up. They got the t-shirts,

they got the pipes, they got the fucking, you know, it's amazing how life works itself over. I was really fortunate to get you on the phone last night for you to call a lot. for you to call up and just talk to us and stuff and talk to me. You know, I love you to death, man. We used to play the Congress together at my mother's bar.

At my mother's bar and we used to play up in your apartment. Yeah. Like on 55th Street, you had a place, 56th Street there, and on Hudson Avenue there. You had an apartment. That was a long time ago, Tweety. Yeah. Many moons ago.

Many moons ago. Many moons ago. And we're still walking around. Did you ever think you'd live to be 61 or 60? Nope. Me neither. I didn't think I was going to make it to fucking 37. Did you know that at least I am?

I never thought I would live to 37. Then that 37, I'm like, fuck it, I'm not going to make 50. And here we are. So you want to talk to your fucking nephew here and say hello? What's going on? Yeah, I'll say hi every quick. He's right there. He's right there.

Yeah, what's up? Who's that? David Peter. No, this is David. What's up? How's the baby? He's good. He's home.

Ah. Yeah, he's with his mom, his granny, his little sister. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, everything's going good over there then, huh? Yeah, yeah. We came down. I had a little business out here and see Joey.

Probably either going up tonight or tomorrow morning. Always in the move. Always in the hustle. You know how it is. Yeah. All right, we'll tweet I might be, I'm not going to say when But I got a trip plan

For Colorado Asper He's going back to ask us I'm going somewhere else I don't know how I'm in the mouth from there What's what the question? When I go there, I'm going to shoot over there real quick To spend a day or two over there

Yeah It's real pretty up by San Francisco I'm like an hour or two. From San Francisco? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to plan this maybe next month. Oh. How does it feel to be out, Tweeting?

Feels something great. Yeah. What is it, what does it like to be? I got that letter in the mail saying that was over. I saw him when he came out. He was super happy. When, fucking 18 years, I'd be fucking happy, too. Like, what was it like for you, Joey?

When you're like, how were you when you're, got out? 27. I was a kid. Yeah, so what is it like at like 61? That's not, no, he's been out. He's been out for like five or six years. Oh, okay. How long have you been out for? Five years? Five years. So he's been out on parole, working. You know, he's kept his nose clean, just hustling, you know,

and now he's off parole after all these years. Congratulations, man. No, congratulations. Man, I mean, listen from, if any, we don't have enough time to describe what the 80s were like on that fucking Hudson Avenue. It's a book. It's three parts of a movie. It's amazing what happened

in those five streets. How many drugs were sold in that street? She's got to know two things. Eighty's and Qas. Drugs and killings. And killings. And it was just horrific. It was horrific. And I grew up there, Tweedy. You saw me there on those streets working at when my stepdad had

the butcher shop with Nico around the corner. I used to deliver flowers in the fucking summertime over there in Hudson. I used to shoe pool up the corner, and not at Brindy, but the other fucking bar. I forget the fucking names of those places, but...

A refugio, a regreiro. That's right, a refugio. Oh, my fucking God. Refugio, that was the name of the fucking bar on the corner. Are you kidding me or what? And right next to the bar, across the street was that Cuban place that had the fucking little Cuban food,

like croquetas and sandwiches there on the corner. I fucking grew up there in the summers, guy. I would work a few hours, then shoot down to Union City to my mom's bar, and then go to dinner there and hang out there. Food's cheap, too. Real cheap. Cheap to live in those days over there.

Expensive as fuck out. I didn't even smoke pot. I didn't do shit in those days. I played basketball in those courts. Behind Memorial High School. I ate Cuban food for lunch. Then I fucking walked to Union City to my mom's bar, and I ate dinner down there, and I'd see Tweety and those guys drinking and hanging out, and I'd hang out with these guys, and I'd go home at 9 o'clock.

You know how he did the tweets? We used to play down there in 63rd in Boulevard East, right where the sewage plan is, and then every once in a while that shit would hit you. Oh, in the summer, a pesta meadda. All that shit, all that area down by the river day, all that shit changed. All houses now.

I remember he should tell Hick or all his bad. I said, one day this is going to be prime real estate. He says, nah, they never do that. They never do that. They cleaned that shit up so quick. I made money off for that. They started with Edgewater. It looks beautiful down there.

It looks fucking beautiful. It's a complete different city down there. It's like a city under the fucking city. Uh-huh. Thudy, I love you. We're going to let you go. I'm going to have you call in when you could call in and we could talk about the whole thing here.

Uh-huh. Is Peter there there? No, he's outside with the dog. Oh, he's loving one time. I tell him I said what's up and to call me one day. Yeah. I love you, Tweety. And I'm going to let you know when.

I plan because we're planning because I got a friend over there doing something and he wants me to go check it out, you know? All right. So I want to see what day I could, you know, make that trip over there. Yeah. And right over there, I'll drive right over there to you. Yeah, you have my number. Call me.

Text me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep in touch, all right? Yeah. All right, love you. Love you, dude. Love you, Papa. All right, Joey, love you, Papa.

Yeah. Be good. Bye-bye. Were you shaking the floor with your foot? Yeah, that was me. Okay, I was having a panic attack. No, no, no. Those dabs are strong, dude.

Let me tell you something. He's a good dude, Tweety. I grew up with that motherfucker at a time when it was a different fucking. And I remember going up to him one day. It was like, the weirdest thing. And I'm like, I'm like, dog, I'm thinking of getting the fuck out of here. He's like, where are you going to go? I go, ask him in Colorado.

He goes, I got a house there. Me and some guys. He goes, you can't stay there, but you come visitors. So at least now I had security. Like if something goes bad, I didn't see him, but maybe one time. I went to the fucking business. And then he got busted. It was amazing.

They were bringing up that much powder up there. So what was this story? I don't remember. I might be too high right now. His story was that I talked about him, that he was a guy that was pictures one time. When I went back in 91, I guess. I thought it was earlier when that went down,

like in the mid-80s when that went down, but it's different. I know for a short time. stint. Most of my life he was gone. He was gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew him, like I said, I was really young and he hung out at my mom's ball. I knew him. He was a knock-around guy and he did

this and that, but I didn't know he was involved at that level. Do you know what I'm saying? I didn't know who was at fucking planes and cargoes and shit like that and people. If you're hungry and know, if you keep on climbing and climbing and climbing. Yeah, that was, you know, that was when I saw him was 83.

And I would see Spanish people. in Aspen and I would scratch my head you know Spanish people don't even ski and they'd be walking around like you know not even with skis on I knew they were up there in those days when you saw people who moved coke in those days they check into three hotel rooms you know the two couples and the grandma with the kids the grandma had the coke in her room okay and she didn't leave the room she ordered room service that bed didn't even go to the pool and when you went to meet them they got another room

on the third or fourth floor because all their rooms were separate they weren't connected it's the weirdest thing and they were checking at all different times I would buy coke in those days and the guy would say I knew people in those days

would go just go to this hotel these guys are in from Miami they got whatever you want over there and you go to the one room and they talk to you and they take the money there and then the guy would fucking pick up a phone and call another room

and then some guy would bring it to another room it to another room and then they give you your fucking coke. All day long. All day long. When you're selling like a good amount of any sort of drug, how much money? Are you just making, like, boatloads of money? It's just like paying

for four hotel rooms. Okay, you're not, listen. Even at lower levels, you can make money. I know a guy right now that I've known him since 99, that's per se. Okay. It's 2015. I got to say he probably makes $120,000

a year. Jesus. And he's as low level as they come. And he's probably keeping it real safe. And he keeps it real simple and safe. Real simple and safe. My allergy's acting up today, people. I'm sorry, it's just been dry here and they eat.

You buy something for 10, you sell it for 15. But you sell that a thousand times in a day. Yeah. You know, so you bring in a certain amount. Like, let's say 87, when I got caught up with it, I would pay 9,000 for 11 ounces. So do the math. what's fucking 9,000

divided by 11, right? Right, was that what I said? Yeah. 11 ounces? Oh, go ahead, do the fucking matthew, I'm too high to figure this shit out. Okay, let's see, 9,000 divided by 11. 11 ounces.

It was about $800. $818. Okay, so I would sell those ounces after I cut them for $1,800. So on each ounce, that way, and it was very simple. I had two or three people that I would dump. that on and I would make whatever the math is. So you made a thousand dollars profit. So you made 11

grand. Plus he was cutting it so he was increasing his total weight. So I was increasing my total weight and I was taking some out for myself. So how much would you sell out of the 11? I would sell. I would throw two on nine and sell it for whatever. Make 10, $11,000. And I would take one and do

one and sell the other one in grams and fucking eight balls and shit like that to people I know. and I cut that a little bit What are you cutting it with? Inocetal, baby. Do you ever watch The Wire? Yeah, but years ago. That's a great show.

I just started watching it. Yeah, you should watch that. That's a great show. You know, when I started, it was Inocator. I knew people cut it with baby laxatose, but not really, because you always told it was in there. As soon as I did your Coke, and I had to go to the bathroom, I knew.

But that shit always makes you go to the bathroom. Cocaine is, that's what they say. Cubans do it because it's good for the, digestions. When I was a kid, I'd be at a party, and Cubans would take it out and do a couple of dinner. You want to bump for the digestion? What are you talking about? With coffee. You know what that makes you do? Run to the fucking

bathroom. There's no digestion. I would think about Coke, and I'd have to take a shit. Like if the guy would call me and say, where are you at, Joey? I'm in the office. All right, I'm on Lancashem and from Mainland Street. Two minutes away. Come downstairs at a hundred bucks.

On the way down the stairs, the shit would be coming out of my I'd smell, I'd pop that first shit fart that's right in your asshole. That's a good one. Ooh, it's thick. And then you have to, like, move your legs. Like, I'm shaking him now. And then you have to walk down slowly.

And by the time you get outside, he puts it in your hand. He's talking to you. He's talking to you. But my addiction was so bad at the end that after you put that Coke in my hand, it was like Charlie Brown, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. I'd just sit there until you wear yourself out, and I'd run up those fucking stairs.

and I'd fucking go in that bathroom in the back there and I'd make believe I was taking a shit and I'd take a dollar bill out and I'd crush the rock right there until one pile and I'd stick the fucking dollar bill or the 10 in that bundle and I'd do the whole fucking gram at one shot that's how crazy I was at the end

Were you taking the shit that you needed to take though? Oh yeah no no and sometimes you take a shit and there ain't nothing in there your body produces it so if you eat a cookie you process it like in eight minutes it was horrible It was a horrible way to fucking live man.

It's crazy. And Chris was there what it was going through it on the Sopranos. I'm really happy that it's fucked up that my thing was food and I gained all that weight, but thank God I was never doing anything like hard. But you're not a food out of it.

You like to eat. You like to eat. It's not in the same level. It's people define addiction to different things. You know what? I'm not addicted to food. I like to fucking eat.

If I was addicted to food, I eat fucking the same shit over and over again. wouldn't you think? I don't know how it works. No, how does it work? I don't fucking know. Some people are over-eaters. Yeah, I think it's over-eating.

Yeah, you smoke a ton of those bonhits and eat one of these edible. You're going to fucking overeat naturally. It's not like I'll sit there. We've had discussions about this shit about binge eating at night and whatever. After I left Jersey, I lost that desire to eat at night because I knew I would never get a meal like I would get a Collins diner or a diner. I like fucking a cheeseburger deluxe dog with thick, stick fucking fries. steak fries and I want bucket. That's what I want when I go eat. If I can't have that,

why am I wasting my time on the second team? I saw those pictures. You tweeted of Chan's. I had to tweet them because we were having the conversation with Nicholas the tourer that night. Yeah, but those were, oh my God. And my favorite part was a little mustard on the side because that's key. That's key for the egg roll out of motherfucker. I was just telling one of my homies the other day about disco fries.

Yeah, they have them right at the fucking big wangs too. LA is close. Up north, sorry. The pizza is very bad up there. One out of very 30 pizza joints is like decent. Down here, at least you could find different things to eat, different Asian foods, different. It sucks up north. I'm a foodie.

Well, you're an hour away from civilization. I mean, I'm an hour away from San Francisco. I'll drive an hour and a half to Berkeley to eat something. But it's like... But Berkeley's a college town. It's a bunch of kids from food. Really? You like it? Yeah.

You're like Mexican, tacos. and I have sour cream and all that shit. I'm done with Mexican. Fuck Mexican. There's like nine tacharias per block out here. Like, I can't do that. I can't do that. I go to the Thai.

Thai is really good. Tye is really good. Especially near a college, an Asian college, like in Berkeley. Yeah, Thai is real good. Joe doesn't like Ty. You know what I like? I'm old school. I grew up with the Chinese.

You know what I'm saying? You got to go with somebody like me that. I don't have to go with nobody. I won't even walk into that fucking place. Because the first person... Didn't you make someone change a meeting? Yeah. I made somebody change a meeting, do it.

Oh, your heart like that on Pat Thai? I'll go on a pat-tie at a fly. I eat pat-tie shrimp. And I eat pat-tie chicken. Right, but I'm going to sit next to a guy that's going to put coconut milk in his soup and I'm going to have a heart attack. You understand me? I'm going to sit across a motherfucker that's eating something with curry in it.

I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm going to sit across from somebody who's barefoot when I can see his big fucking toe all black from walking around all day

and not washing his asshole that's why I can't eat at a fucking type place all right you want the

fucking truth because I don't want some guy eating curry next to me and barfing and fucking that goat

milk and shit I don't need that coconut milk in my soup I'm from a civilized civilization you understand I don't eat

no fucking like I'm a savage coconut milk in my fucking soup with clams and shit what the fuck

what what Lee what your cock sucker. I'm fucked up. I'm good. I'm tip top magoo. It was a beautiful thing to be alive. Those dabs are fucked up.

Those dabs are interesting. That's why I'm coughing. They sneak up on you. They're fucking. No, they sneak up on your throat. Now I'm coughing like, I got a pubic hair or something.

But we were rushing, you know, normally you pace them out, but we're like, well, the dog was making me nervous. I thought he was going to fucking get a flashback and bite this in the ass from the STSA days. No, that's a cute dog. Yeah, he's a cute dog.

Yeah, he's awesome. This is a fucking big business. I'm watching this edible business. love them. You know, I hope to be off the weed pretty soon. I'm going to do the morning joint with an edible. Seriously. I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I'm I don't care. I like it. I love it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. You know what I did for a week? I stopped eating edibles and I noticed I was getting higher from the weed. When did he stop eating edibles? A couple weeks ago. You didn't know there's nothing. Because that Wednesday I only ate at one star, which is nothing to me. Oh, okay. I was like, I eat a star. It's like,

give me a break. It's like eating the fucking jellyfish. One of those red fucking jelly stars, whatever the fuck. Swedish fish? Yeah, Swedish fish. Same thing. But I stopped and I was getting higher when I smoked. But, you know what, I like going to Jiu-Jitsu, and I like that. My lungs are expanding, and I'm lasting eight minutes now instead of one minute.

So, you know what? I'm 50, I've been smoking for 30 fucking years. I'm going to give it to breathe it. So I'm going to get to the point where I could just eat an edible, you know, a little half-edible in the morning. I could control it. By 12 o'clock, I just can't do Jiu-Jitsu. need an edible. I'm scared.

Really? You don't do that at all? No, I did that before. Yeah, but your heart starts going to... Yeah, your heart starts beating. And once you're on the bottom, you don't know how to get out, you're going to have a panic attack. Sometimes you get hot when you're high too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I learned my lesson the fucking hard way, you know what I'm saying? So, you're still making the gummies, correct?

Oh, yeah, yeah, this is just a new product. No more peanut brittle. Right now, it's a white chocolate-based products and gummies. And one of the flavors you got these in? We have cookies and cream. We have a strawberry milkshake, banana dream, espresso, and a rice pudding, horchata bar. Now let me ask you this horchata bar.

250 milligrams still? Yeah, 250 of oil. Hash oil. Yeah, it's not of THC. It's of oil. That's why you feel like you're fucking floating. Yeah, we... I love it.

I love this. It's got a punch. You could see the differences. You can tell the differences in some of the edibles. We've been small, you know, and that's the other thing. I'm... With the edibles, it's like anything else. You build a resistance.

to him. You know, he gives us a bag of stars of 125, we eat him for 10 days straight. I don't want to fucking see a star, not even at night. You know what I'm saying? I don't even want to fucking see a star at night, floating, shooting, whatever fuck they are. Fuck stars. I like switching them up. I like switching

them up. My brother can only have half of one of these, and he's like, if he has a whole one, he's, like, wasted and he's done. I can eat four of these. I had two of them. My buddy has eaten six and seven of these. Oh, he's a fucking savage. Yeah, but he's the only one that I've ever seen that I could do that. He's crazy. He's ridiculous.

Yeah, he's probably got to fucking imbalance. Other people have, other edible companies have been like, dude, I can't get him out either. Have they figured out what it is that makes it different for every person? Because there's always that one person who comes to a show and was like, I had two stars and nothing happened.

And I'm like, that's... The kid we met with the nice guy. A bunch of people have said it to me. And it's just like, I wonder, what it is? Is it like, something in someone's body just doesn't react to THC? see? I don't know. I've not really looked that up. That's a good question. That's something good to look up. Metabolism probably has something to do with it, like with edibles. If your body processes food quicker,

it's going to process an edible quicker in and out of your bloodstream. So. I don't know how it works. I wish I had the answers. I thought it was a bigger person. I had a friend that said if you eat it with cheese, you get higher. I've had a thousand things. If you eat any kind of weed with mangoes, you eat, you're, You're high-blank. Mango helps you your digestion. It helps break down food. That's why they sold mango pills for years, 300.

I would eat the whole bottle of those things. In fact, the mango things were strong in the 80s. So I would go buy an anousetal to cut Coke, and it's like two mangoes for $10. And I buy two of those mango enzymes, and I eat the whole fucking thing. I ate a whole bottle of Fred Flintstone fucking vitamins. When I was a kid, I shid blood for like three fucking days.

Those were good. I had Flint Pinstone. In the first grade. I ate a whole fucking bottle of Fred Flintstone. I got all fucked up on Fred Flintstone pills in the first place. Well, they're really sugary. Yeah, I got all fucked up on it, you know. It's, it's, it's, first couple times I did coke, I didn't get eye.

1980 cocaine. First, first, first, first six months I did cocaine. I didn't get eye. So why do you keep doing it? Because I saw everybody else losing their mind. And I thought, what the fuck is going on with me? Something ain't right. And I, and one man I figured out, drinking.

I would drink with it And all of a sudden It'd take me to a different planet If I didn't drink with it I was so high strung in those days That it wasn't doing nothing It was the same thing It wasn't catching on to me

It was the weirdest And once I started drinking two beers And then doing a blast It was over What's up, Lee? I wouldn't recommend anyone do that No, no, I don't want nobody to do cocaine That's the fucking point here

You understand me I don't know if they do fucking bloods Why don't we talk about this It's funny I got a lot of My email system has been fucked up on the computer. On one computer, I get the old email,

then the new computer. On the computer at home, I get the new emails. When that computer, I take it on the road, I get the old emails. This is the weirdest thing I've ever been talking about. So I answer them accordingly. And I got to tell you something,

the last three weeks, it's been a lot of drug fucking issues. A couple people's dogs have died. Yesterday, my friend, a kid, listens to the show. His dog got paralyzed. They had to put him down. My heart goes out to the first.

family. I forget what the fuck his name is. But don't matter. My heart goes out to his family. The fucking dog died. But it's been very rough that... It has been. I got a... A lot of people who hit me up with drug thing, so I don't know what the fuck's going on with me. The dog got into the drugs? No, no, no.

The dog just got paralyzed. He was 80 years old. Who the fuck knows? But it's so weird. I actually just got hit up by my old camp counselor. He listens to this show. Like, I haven't seen him in over 10, 15 years. And he sent me this email last night that he... He moved to London for a girl, and then they broke up, and then he got cancer, and then he was in prison, and it just, and now he's, he has his own company in Portland, Maine, like, weed t-shirts and growing weed.

But it's just amazing how, like, quickly, like, bad things kind of, like, stuff like happens to a lot of people, and I feel really bad. Like, where life takes you. Just one bad thing after another. Like, you never seem to, like, I've been pretty lucky. I mean, I've had some ups and downs, but something always picks you up, but that must suck. You know, you're very young. You're a nice kid. You really keep to yourself, you know, the more you keep to yourself, the less you're getting trouble.

Does that make sense? Yeah. I figured out at 1920 that if I went out five nights a week, I was going to get in trouble one of the nights. So I cut it down to three. I'm serious. This is how retarded I was. With me, it was always an hour. odds game. That's why I became an econ major.

I love numbers. I love seeing what happened at this time last year and seeing what's going on. At this time this year, I love all that shit. I've always loved don't I always call you and ask you how the numbers are you selling? Holiday and everything. I love all that shit. You know, I want to know what the fuck. Because listen, the numbers

don't lie. Everything else could lie. There's a reason for everything. Everything has a reason. So, what are we talking about? When bad stuff happens? Numbers. You know, if you go out after 6 o'clock of night, something bad's going to happen. You know, if you hang out with fucking moron, something bad is going to happen. In my case, I was that moron.

You know, I didn't know that going in. I thought I was being slick. I was going to rob somebody from cocaine. But that wasn't the first time I did that type of shit. I had been doing that, playing that card for years, not in that capacity with a gun. I was robbing drug dealers. You know where I was from? You know, from where I grew up and then where I went to, I would see holes in their game.

To pick a niche. Drug dealers, it. outside of where I grew up, left holes in your game. When you're a career creep like me in those days at 19, that I'm looking for a kilo of coat, I'm going to get it from you. I'm going to watch it until I get it. So you can't leave no holes.

What's a hole, the guy that goes out to the clubs? The guy that, you know, there's just little holes. Little things that guys do. Like a raptor. That a guy like me sees and attacks that fucking hole. That's all it is. So how long, like, could you be like, Like looking at somebody for like six months just to see what they do?

Or like, how long would it take? What's the prize, you know? Let's pretend, all right. I'm going to tell you a story. I'm not going to say no names. It happened in Colorado. Okay. I watched this guy for about three months.

Jesus. I was involved in a circle of people. And something about this guy I didn't like. And he had arguments with friends of mine. And he was like the dealer that was getting the five kilos. I don't know him all. Huh? Yeah, he just didn't move jazz with me.

And I could tell he didn't like me, and because he didn't like me, I didn't like him. But he was a certain person. Like, I know in life you don't like certain people, because if not life, wouldn't be the same. He was the type of guy that I had encountered every two or three years. He just didn't like me. I just didn't like him. But the people around me dug me to death. So the guy owned, his sly was a restaurant, a co-cut restaurant.

All right, and that was his first hole with me. This was up in snowmast. But I knew he was getting the powder, and he was giving it to three or four people. And I was tight with three or the four people he was given it to. I was tight with his whole circle. So I didn't know. I inadvertently got a job shoveling snow,

and I would shovel in front of his house. But I would never shovel in front of his house. I'd make the other guy shovel in front of his house. I'd shovel four buildings down, but I'd watch his door, and I got his fucking programming down. And most of the days, he went skiing. Once you go skiing, I got you. For at least an hour. I got you.

That gives me, even because it would take me 15 minutes. All the apartment buildings were the same. I knew each room. I knew each nook and cranny. You know, if I would go out at night and I'd see him at a bar and he didn't see me, I'd shoot down to his house. and see if his roommate was home. And then my buddy made the keys

for all the apartments. So it took me three months. In the three months, I was picking off other people. You follow me? I was saving this guy for a fucking rainy day. And I was going to hit him just for personal reasons.

And you know what? I knew. This is how crazy I was at 19. I knew that even if he knew I'd hit him, there wasn't shit he was going to do to me. There wasn't shit he was going to do to me. I knew he was going to come up to me and put the finger out.

on me, but there wasn't shit he was going to do to me. I just, that's how crazy I was. After my mother died three years, four years in, let's see how fucking crazy you are. And at the time I wasn't messing around with weapons, but I had one. I was just a Yahoo.

I was like, that black guy that comes at you with a gun twisted and shit. I had no idea about shooting nothing. But I knew I didn't like this guy. So because I didn't like him, this had become personal. So the first time I hit him couple times.

I hit this motherfucker a couple times. That was my signature. Just wasn't enough. Once wasn't enough. Now, do you ever like... But the other thing I was doing, since it was a small community, I wasn't hitting them for everything.

I was leaving... Oh, dog. You're choosing them? Oh, I'm a... Dog! I'm a professional torturer. So I would come to your house, and instead of clipping 50 of these bars,

I'd clip 20 of them. Now it costs controversy with you, your brother, your grandmother, somebody took these 20 fucking bars. Who comes in and just steals 20, you know? And I would listen to the street. I would listen to the bars to see what people were saying. There was a lot of times I would rob a guy. He had too much pride to go out and say somebody robbed. When you rob a drug dealer and they think they're cool, but they ain't shit, they're just a college kid, that they're dead, lent them $5,000 because they were going to start a skateboard company, but they get into the powder business.

Those were the pigeons I was looking for in those days. Those were the pigeons I was looking for in those days You follow me? So I would clip those guys Now I wouldn't clean you out I wouldn't clean you out unless I didn't like you Okay so the first time I hit that fucking jerk off Was Labor Day weekend

His guard was down When you sell coke You gotta have somebody at your house at all times If I see that you got drunk and got high You were going down Your game had to be super tight in my fucking world because if you were out getting coked up or whatever and me and my buddies in those days got a hold to you

I mean when I lived in Colorado like I hung out with guys in Jersey that were kind of crazy but when I moved to Colorado I picked up like two or three friends in snowmast that were fucking crazy one of them being this dude from Ohio that was out of his mind he grew up in Fayetteville North Carolina and he grew up the son of a fucking Marine

like that's where they trained down there and shit so he was crazy Diaz I'll kill him I'll kill a motherfucker. You know me, Dias. I almost kill my stepdad when I was fucking 18. I seen him smacking my mom. I mean, this dude was crazy.

So I had him in Colorado. I had some crazy guys in Jersey. But I was out of my mind because of the pain in my heart and the anger I had at the world. Not because I was a tough guy. That was what I put on you. I wanted to put on you what I was feeling inside. So when I didn't like you and I knew you didn't like me,

so the first time I hit this dude was Labor Day weekend. I found out he was hiding shit in his business. Not in the safe either because he was paranoid that the cops would come. He'd have cash in that. And I heard this at a party from two girls that were talking amongst themselves. I was sitting there. I just heard the jackpot. You know what I got Jew ears.

I got those Auschwitz ears. I'll hear shit gone down fucking two miles down if they're getting the matches ready. I fucking know. That's the new shirt. What's that, Auschwitz ears? Shit, yeah. Or a hat. And I'm listening to her say that he usually puts it.

That's it. That's it. That was it. So I went there lay a day. I went in there to get a sandwich and they said that, oh, he's in Glenwood Springs doing something. But bam. These fucking people couldn't deal with my savourness.

So the first thing, he used to have a back door in the back where people went outside. And they took a razor blade. I buffed the sides in and I put it in a hole where the door locks. That was number one. Okay, that was tick number one. I did that about 3.30. They opened until 5. And then at 5 to 5, I went in there,

may believe something was lost. And there was still a bunch of people in there, so she didn't see me, and I left the bag door open. She had closed it and I just twisted it and walked out. So the back door was open, plus I had to double on it. So either the door locked didn't come in all the way, and I could jimmy it, that they had no security.

These people were fucking, they trusted everything. It was like nice white people. Oh yeah. You know, if the door's open, lock, and not in my fucking world, your door's open, I'm taking something. And I went up there like 10 o'clock at night. People who have bars,

but I could hear the people partying that the bar's perfect. I went to the bars and let people see me. Hey, what's up? Let me get a Coke with fucking lemon in it. What are you drinking? Rum and Coke. They don't fucking know nothing.

They think I'm partying. Right between the things would start, I'd shoot over there, boom, kick the door down. I went in the back, office he had fucking eight ounces of blow I went in the fucking thing where he had the thing he had another $1,800

cash and I took him for like another two. I remember I went home I couldn't fucking sleep guys I just kept doing little bumps in the back of the room I couldn't even tell my roommate I had four ounces whatever the fuck I had. How exciting was that? Oh my God at 19 you know and I knew

and I was rich and at the time I didn't spend much you know I was robbing coke so the the dude I worked with The dude I lived with was from North Bergen. He was in charge of condos. He worked for a company in VPM. So he was in charge of condos.

So I would know who was in the condos, who wasn't, who was out of town, I would ask him. And he would tell me the stash shit at certain condos because they were doing work on them or they weren't doing work on them. Do you understand me? So I took the next morning, I got up, and I told him, what kind? I go, no, I found this jewelry and a piece of hash I want to hide. I hid the fucking ounces. I hit the fucking cash.

And I took like a $1,000 cash, and I took a bus down to Glenwood Springs. No, I didn't do that the next day. I'm lying to you. I forgot all about that. I waited late until Wednesday. I went to Glenwood Springs, and I bought a stereo without the radio.

I didn't want the radio. So would I buy an amp? I bought an amp with a double cassette deck and a pair of speakers and some earphones. That's what I spent my money on. I kept a thousand, but I bought the stereo from my room. I never forget that. and I bought Madonna's first CD.

Did you see him after that? I saw him after that. And it was reported to the community that he had gotten robbed for cash. It was somebody that kicked in the door. They didn't say nothing about the cocaine. Of course not. I'm going to go on the police report. Now, do you ever...

So I made, like, slight inquiries about it, like, to people that were cool with me. Like, what happened to that asshole? And they would say, fuck. Because a lot of people didn't like things. guy. He was born like with a, what they call that, a golden spoon in his mouth. That was the rumor about him. So he always had that air of, you know, I'm a fucking better than you. And then cocaine came along, and now he acted like he was a drug dealer. But you and I knew he was a

fucking jack-off. He just knew people who trusted him. They knew he had that business. So they would give him, you know, 200,000 on consignment. He would just give it to five guys in Snowmass Village. And then the second time, I popped him in this condo. At a Christmas party. I waited three months until his fucking thing got down again. Always while people are partying, having a good time.

And what I was doing to him at first was he lived with a dude that was a chef, a personal chef. So the personal chef dude was tight with me. So he'd be telling me the schedule without him knowing.

You know, the guy would tell me the schedule without him knowing of the drug dealer on his schedule. So I knew when the guy was going to be home or he wasn't going to be home.

And for about a month, I was just taking two, three grams out of his bag. I had the key to his door guys. I had the whole thing. I wait for him to go skiing and I go in. I take 200 for lunch and a couple of fucking grams

of two I would take him for. And then right before I found that I was leaving, I took him for fucking like six more ounces and then he raised his hand. And then by that time, I had banged out so many drug dealers in Aspen and Snowmast that the word was out that somebody, they couldn't figure out who the

fuck it was. They were hunting him down. They had no idea. the fuck I was playing them because I wouldn't snort blow in front of them so they knew I didn't snort blow I would get my roommate to buy coke for me or somebody else to buy coke and I'd make up it was for Lee

a guy at work you follow me so they didn't know I didn't snort blow so why would I be robbing blow if I didn't snort blow fucking crazy life I had back then I think of everything that was fucking crazy and then they nailed me

they nailed me once they nail me bust into the jewelry store they put everything on me and everybody figured out. But by the time they put it all together, I left town. And I came back two years later and it was forgotten. They had gotten so drunk for those two years, they had forgotten.

I was there again. I don't see that. That fucks up my throat. You understand me? I feel you don't. Do you ever, like, notice now, like, if someone's creeping around your neighborhood, are you more aware of that? Yeah, because I know the footage. I know how you walk.

I know the desperation in your walk. I know your eyes. You know, I know how you I shouldn't see you go up and down the block twice Right there, bam, a car I know all the fucking movements Because I was doing those movements You know

Have you ever pulled anyone inside? I'm like, hey man Don't do that around here No, I'll just stand different I'll let them know that I know Without saying nothing How do you stand? You sit down and you sit out there with a chair

And you smoke a joint outside or something Very nonchalant They don't, they know, but you know when somebody's watching you. When I would be in a neighborhood creeping or an apartment building or in a house, as soon as I saw somebody, the deal was off. But I always had an excuse to be there. You understand me? You always have an excuse to be there.

Why are you in this hallway? Fucking table. There's two doors down. Oh, okay. Oh, no, no, because somebody's been robbing the apartment. Really? That's fucking crazy, man. Have a good night.

You have to have a reason to be back there. You just can't say, I'm looking for my friend's apartment. Dead. Dead. You know, you have to have, why are you in this neighborhood? Why are you on this block? Why are you behind this house? You know, with binoculars on and a fucking tub of Vaseline, you know.

I'm looking for fucking birds at night. That's why, cock sucker. It's just really weird. That was a really weird life. And I've been writing about it the last fucking two years. And I was writing that whole thing. I couldn't believe how crazy. creepy I was as a human being, you know?

Imagine if you'd gone, like, gone caught and then gone out now, like, Tweedy. Like, if you were just getting out now, like, what do you think you'd be doing? You'd have to get a job, first of all. Well, listen, man, my biggest fear of all time was that I wasn't going to end up doing anything. And you ever see, you were going to a fucking subway sandwich. And there's a guy that a subway sandwich with a tattoo on his hand from 1965, and he's got long hair. and he's still holding on to that shit. But now he's 53.

And he's got an old lady, but this is what he could earn now. Because for 10 years, he fucked off. I never wanted to be one of those guys. That was my biggest fear at 25. That is why when I go to the comedy store, I go down there, I do a set and I leave. Because I didn't want to be that old guy

that was still holding on. You know, you both. You've been to places. You walk, and I'm not putting anybody down. I'm talking about a man or a woman who's let their life go through, who let their life pass before their eyes. They didn't think. They thought for years, woo! Let it's getting. There's a party. And it just, dog, 20 years goes by. That hot chick ain't that hot no more. Now she's a sperm bucket. Her ass, her tits are droopy. She's still good looking from a distance, but you can see she's got a thousand fucking years of pain in her fucking from sleeping with men or whatever the fuck they're doing.

And you see the guys at my age with a missing fucking toot and with a tattoo that says, you know, cheap trick or whatever the fuck they were into. And now you're a subway sandwich, bro, as an assistant fucking manager. That's reality. You've seen those guys, Lee.

You've seen them fucking too. And you don't say nothing. You don't judge, but you know what their past is by looking at them. Somewhere along the line, they fell asleep for 10 fucking years. They went to a concert. They followed the dead. They joined the cult.

They made a fucking crucial, fucking mistake here. They did something. You know, life goes by fucking fast. You know, people have been telling me lately, you've been angry lately. Sure you get angry. Because I'm fighting up a fucking ladder now. I pissed away, 30 years doing fucking blow. 27 years doing blow.

I'm very happy to be where I am and I did something with my life. But guess what? I could have done much more. I threw away 20 years of my life, snorting that fucking powder. and you know what? It went by like this, brother. It went by like that. And that's what happens to those guys

when you walk into a subway. You know they don't own the fucking subway. Okay? It's not when you walk into a liquor store and a guy's broken, but he's broken because he's been at that same fucking liquor store since 1962, you know,

and he's owned it. I ain't mad at the fucking guy. You know, he knows his business and shit. By the way, when I met the dude from the Star Anarchy last week. Yeah. I went somewhere and I got caught and I had to go down Riverside.

And as I was pulling in to meet those kids with all the anarchy edibles, as the chubby chick from the fucking bar, from the, from the liquor store came out, the nice white chick. That's married to the black dude. She's a dynamite lady. Remember we gave her an edible one day? Yeah. And you kept saying, how can you give her that?

We gave her all those gumies. We gave her those gummies. We did. And we just gave her 250. We don't know what her head is like. We didn't give a fuck. She's so cool with us. Every time we go, we talk to her.

She always asked me if I'm going to play the lottery. You ain't going to play the lottery? It's $18 million, Papa. So I put one day, I said, you get in her. She's like, fuck, yeah. I gave her those goomies in my eyes. I said it like a month later. She's like, that was terrific.

So I saw her last week, and she was going into her husband's truck, the black dude, the nice black dude. Okay. And I go, Hong Kong. And they both looked at me, and I'm going, and she's like, and she walked in her, and she goes, what's our baby? and I go, here you go. And she's like, oh, shit, I know what I'm doing the rest of the day.

So if you stop in and ask her what happened with the fucking edibles to Uncle Joey gave. Okay. You love doing that. You love, like, just giving it to, like, waitresses. You give it to that stewardess one time. And the funny thing, you don't even get to see what happens. You just imagine what happened? They can, like, laugh at it.

Let them go home and think about what happened. Who the fuck could they give me that? Most of the time, I got pulled over last night. I tell you guys, I got pulled over at a fucking cops. I lankerish him by Bank of America I dropped the Agostina off and I had to put gas in my car because I was on E.

And I said, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to the Bank of America, get some cash and put it on E and get a cup of coffee. I went in my wallet, I had a $5 bill. I go, you know what? I thought I had more money. So I went in the little center compartment in the car and there was nothing

and then I'm in the thing between the armrest and then there was a $5 bill and a single. Like, all right, I go to 7-Eleven, I go to Bank of America, and then I'll go get gas. And as I went to Bank of America, I see a dude walking down the street with no t-shirt on,

bleeding from his back, with shorts on, dirty, homeless, you know, I don't know what he was. And something, it was 10 o'clock, it was 11.30 a fucking night. And I went to the Bank of America, and I said, you know, I'm not even going to take the money, and I'm going to catch him.

I thought I would catch him, but you know where you slide out? He was going to walk, and I had those two t-shirts in the car, and the band guy sent me. I had two t-shirts in the car, and I had the six bucks. And as I pulled out of the bank, I couldn't find him. We fucking disappeared. And all of some, I looked, and he's sleeping by a little crevice. By the Bank of America, they had those little benches.

Yeah. Now I know for a fact, if I give him the fin, nobody's going to let him into his business. You know what I'm saying? Like, you need a t-shirt. to go into a business. Yeah. So I said, I'll give him a T-Shia, I'll give him a $5.30. A fucking night.

So I pull, I make a left, which was legal. Everything was legal. And I go, yo, come here. I got something for you. And he runs over. He cleans himself off. He looks like a fucking P-O-W. He's like, what's up, man?

He goes, you're not going to shoot me, are you? I go, no, I'm not going to fucking shoot you here. Here's a T-shirt. And I put the five dollars. I didn't say there was five dollars. I go, here's the T-shirt. He goes, thanks, man. Now I get up the Sun Valley.

like, this is really cool of you, man. And he looked at me, he goes, why did you do it? And I go, I just did it, man. I don't know. Don't ask fucking questions. He goes, thank you very much. I got a guy at the Sun Valley. He walks away and he looks at me, he goes, hey, can I give me some advice?

Why? He goes, don't believe a word tip of gore says. And he just walked away. Tip of Gore. What are he fucking talking about at 1130 at night? And as he went to walk away, a cop, went to make it right, and almost said him. And the cops said, beep, boop.

And he puts the fucking lights on. I'm like, oh, here we go. And the guy gets out. And then they leave the car in the middle of the street. So I'm stuck. And he goes, you turn the ignition on. What's going on here? Is this a drug deal?

Yeah, I'm buying fucking drugs from a heart-bold dirt over here. You know, what's he selling me? Crack, rolled in fucking dog shit. Look at his fingers. I won't even want to fucking, you know. I go, no, man, I was pointing. I had no shirt on. I wanted to give him a couple bucks.

I come over here and take a deposit out. And he, whatever. I had no fucking shirt on, and I figured five dollars in his shirt, at least he could go in some place and get a fucking soda. And he was very valiant of you. Like, he was the fucking scumbag. I just was trying to, you know what the fuck?

What did you do? And he goes, oh, no, so you're okay? Were you drinking? No, do I look like I'm drinking? No, I'm drinking. I went to fucking do a podcast. What the fuck at that one? At the comedy store.

He goes, all right, go ahead, leave. They didn't even ask me for my license. I could have been a mass murderer. I could have been wanted in 18th stage. You see what I'm saying? Laziness. Customer service and laziness. Have you had an edible before?

No, I didn't do nothing last night. I told you I didn't do dick last night. I just smoked a hash joint, a joint with hash net that they gave me at the weed store. It wasn't bad, but it's not that other shit. There's a brand that people give you. It's a $15 joint. It's got like bazooka milk in it, hash, keef, lightning, strike. It got dabs in it.

This shit. Me and Lee smoked it. At the store? At the store that night. We drove up the thing, and we were like, this was fucked up. It came in a tube. Yeah, someone gave it to you at the store that way. And I went into a weed store next night.

I go, do you guys have this? And we're not allowed to sell that. That's death. They're like, that got glass in it and fucking tapanga juice and all this shit. I'm like, good. That's what we need. Somebody gave me another one. So I smoked it with fucking the kid from Tennessee, my neighbor last night.

And we went down to the comedy store. That's fun. The blonde-haired kid. Yeah, you got to do something. You excited for Boston this weekend? Fuck, I'm excited to Boston. My man, Los Gumi's Ramos, got connections in fucking Boston. They got connections everywhere.

That's going to be fun. Let me talk to you about something. So he gets an email one day that you're switching from those Gumi's Hermanos to fucking lailed it life. I go to those Gummys and my nothing comes up. Naileda life still comes up. So what are you doing to me here? No, they're both Los Gumbysermanos.com brings you to a Naileda life contact form.

That's the only thing. Nailed Life is still there. So tell me what you're doing with the vapor pen. You don't want to sell the vapor pens no more? No, we're still doing the vapor pens. Okay, but you're focusing on the edible now. Yeah. Give me one more those.

What's the other flavors you got in that? You should try the rice pudding one. Let me try the rice pudding. How many calories in these things? Fucking 300. They smell like 300. Oh, yeah, we did do the math on this. This is a brand-new product, like super brand-new.

We brought them down for you. I think we figured them out to be less than 100 calories. Per square or the whole thing? Per square, yeah. Wow, that's not bad. I had 700 calories left. I guess I'm down to four. My wife made tilapia anyway,

with a little yellow potatoes, so it's not too bad. I got a couple of carbohydrates. What's up, are you one other piece? No. How much did you eat so far? I have the edible,

and then I smoked this. That's it. No, it's time for another piece. I had a hundred twenty-five milligrams. You've got to try the Yocatah. How are you going to sell it to mama? 25 milligrams. Which one's that one?

There you go. Oh. Oh. Oh. You're going to give this to Grandma. Give this to your mother. Okay. No, no, eat that. That's yours. You have to eat it. Not you.

For the Mexican people in your life, that's deliciously. Or chata. Like cinnamon. What happens? That's what it is, right? I can't eat that. What do you can't eat that? I'm hot. I'm stuck right now. What do you got to do with that? Survive?

Survive. You're going to go home. You're going to watch the black and the new orange. And you're going to knock yourself out. It's deliciously. It is. I'm just really high. That's okay. Eat another piece.

That's good for you. The fucking guy. We're trying to expand down here, down in the L.A. market. We're trying to get into a bunch of clubs. So where are you now? Right now, we're in Northern California. That's it.

We're in a couple of spots in Oakland. But mostly patient-to-patient, we deal with people that just buy a bunch off of me. And it's a nice fucking thing because they're great. Let me get some more chattahed juice there. That's delicious. what the thing about edibles is? There's a lot of mouths to feed. You just put down like six of them right there. And you named like another six edibles that you had in the last week. And you like them all. And they're all delicious. There's a lot of mouths to feed.

And these work. Jeez. Yeah. Some of them don't work. Some of them don't work. Some of them don't work. Right. Remember the things the guy dropped off? Which ones? We got a lot of edibles here. Some guy dropped off from stuff. They were terrible. we eat like I gave it to Lee that's how I know like the dolly rancher ones there were big lollipops and I go Lee eat this when Lee don't get high

candy's rough you can't over medicate candy because you got that in your mouth for like 15 20 minutes and you're sucking on that horrible tasting candy yeah no you need it needs to be like two three bites max it's got to be right down for it to be a strong candy my favorites are the gummies

I love your los scumis gums and it's like they're just like they're just like the perfect amount. And you can even just, like, if someone's new, they could just bite the head off and be perfect. When I first bought my license,

which had to be maybe 2005, 2006. Like a pot license, you mean? Yeah. That edible game was completely different. They were huge, Lee. Yeah. Lee, huge.

You had to eat a fucking chocolate cake to get 100 milligrams. Jesus. And there was no standard for strength. There was no standard. It was horrible. strength. And Ralphie Mae,

I love him with all my heart. He would buy s'mores that were 200 milligrams. Like that was like the highest dose than like 150, 125. There was no cheap but choose. There was nothing. It was like you had to buy big things.

Like cinnamon muffins. We used to go to the place next to Dukes. On Sunset Boulevard, you go to the Duke's restaurant next to the whiskey or go-go? Yeah, I've seen it. That was the first weed store I ever walked into. They had the vending machines. Those black dudes didn't give a fuck whether you had a license.

nut. They had great shit in there. They really did. That was a great fucking medical man. I finally, I had to go get my life. They let me in there twice like Joe. You got to go with your license. I knew them because there were bodyguards to somebody like Eddie Griffin or

and I knew him from coming into the comedy store and they did security for this weed store. And they were like, dog, how you doing? Great to see. You want to come in and check out the operation? They were selling eights in those days for $85 fucking dollars. Is that a lot or a little? That's a lot of dollar.

That's a lot of dollars. That's places doing that nowadays. Yeah, I'm Ventura Boulevard. I'm Ventura Boulevard in Hollywood. And Sunset, you still got places selling your weed for $85, $90. How much is it supposed to be? Down the corner? $35.

Oh, fuck Bill. I get an eighth down the corner of some fucking killer weed for $45 fucking dollars. They're tremendous. Yeah, why pay devil? I was spending $100 a day in Hollywood, and I spend $20 a day in the Valley. If that. If that. Because I'll buy one of those eights for fucking $35, 40 bucks, and I'll smoke those days.

And I have high tolerance. So the wheat's delicious. The Ferrari, the fucking Hollywood, OG. That shit's fucking delicious. His tolerance has gone up, though. But this is different. See, right now his eyes would be bumming out of his head. He's spinning.

He's not doing that. This is the oil. I'm out of the edge right now. What I could see is that your eyeball, your skin, is red. But your eyeballs aren't popping out of your head. You don't look all Chinese doubt and shit. Yes, I do look at those eyes. No, no, you look healthy. You look good, cuck,

but as your tolerance goes up, you enjoy it more. You used to panic. You don't panic as much. I didn't panic before, but... He was panicking. He was just a lot of... He'd go into it panicking, so he would still panic. He would continue the panic. Yeah, all this is going to happen to me, I'm going to get raped. The girl, this is not, you know, and then now

he just says, fuck it. No, he just says, fuck it. What do I give a fuck? Yeah, we just say, fuck it's what I give a fuck. And that's what it is. people I still know bump into people. Last time I had a pot cookie, I had a bad trip. What are you talking about? What trip did you fucking take?

It was a bad trip. What fucking trip? What trip did you take? What acid did you do? You didn't take no bad trip. You know what happened? You fucking went over your head and you didn't prepare yourself or you went into a scan and the thought process.

You know, that's why I don't like the edibles with Jiu-Jitsu. Because once my heart triggers and you start going, it becomes something else. It's not just Lee and Joey out of air. It's, I'm having a fucking heart attack. It feels like having asthma. Yeah, your mind plays tricks on you. And that happens when you're sober, so when you're fucking high, I can only imagine.

It happens sometimes when you're, or happens to you when you're sober? Fuck you. In Jiu-Jitsu so far, sometimes I'm like, oh, and you think you're like, oh, shit, this is terrible. The heat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can't even imagine being high. What do these go for? These go in the club for like $15, $20.

$1, $1, $1,20,000. $215.15 milligram, they taste delicious under 100 calorie. Sugar? Yeah. You have a sugar in them, okay. You can't give it to diabetics, people. Yeah, we're working on, like, gluten-free, and we're working on different things.

Different things. That's the thing. Listen, man, I know a diabetic dude that him and his wife would buy a loaf of the banana bread every week, and they would eat the banana bread and do yoga. They would have a yoga lady come to the house, and they would do yoga.

Then when she'd leave, they probably fucked that little yoga pussy. Who knew what the fuck they did? You know, they were older couple that had no kids. He was telling me, I met him at the weed store. He was going in and buy a fucking loaf once a week. So edibles, that's what I'm saying to you. Edibles are a different world. Yeah.

You know, Joe Rogan, if you email Joe Rogan, he'll tell you what happens when they hit the liver and the kidney. I don't know nothing. I know you eat this and 25 minutes later you're thinking of cheeseburgers and shit subconsciously. That's all I fucking know. I don't know what happens, how the system breaks down in your body. I really don't. I'm an ignorant fuck when it comes to that. I prefer as like a novice weed smoker.

Like I feel like the high is better. You don't smoke that much weed, though. If I see you more, seven out of ten times I see you, we eat an edible. Hell yeah. I know. Like tonight we smoke, but it's very rare. We never smoke together.

No, we smoke like a joint almost every podcast. The first time, the first two years, we did over at your apartment. No, even, well, not every time here, but... No, we don't smoke every time here, I don't. We smoke every three times. Okay. One of the three times I come, I bring weed for us. I'll say, leave, smoke this.

What do you think of this? But I feel like smoking only affects my head and, like, the edibles, I'm like, my entire body's fucked, though. Yeah, but it affects your stomach. You like me, when you go home, you can't stop fucking eating those rice. You're still eating those rice cakes? Hell yeah. But, uh...

When was the last time you ate a rice cake? I've been out of them. I know exactly when it was last Monday. And I ate an entire... Dude, I ate an entire pack of caramel more rice cakes after the podcast. That's 600 calories. You say I'll live with.

So what are you trying to do? brother. I mean, you've been doing this now for three, four years, so you're succeeding, you're making a living. You and your brother are chirping away, which I love. I've been helping you as much as I can, you know, with the web page and the vapor pants. You've got great products.

We're just expanding. You've got to go nationwide. Fuck it. We have, we had five, six really good distributors and now we're just going to become our own distributor and we're going to go up and down the state, California. And that's it.

Yeah. Now, what about these other leagues? Is it state, is it, these other states, is it legal to have these? In other states, they have their own separate laws, but going from one state to the next is not legal. So we don't ship. A lot of people email me all the time about shipping. We definitely do not. So can you sell these in Colorado? If I lived in Colorado and I made it in Colorado and I had license.

Because they have their own regulations out there within their own state, then yeah, I could sell it. If I had my own club and I made my own edibles in house, they have their own separate set of rights. rules out there. How hard is it for someone just getting into the business to navigate all the regulations and what forms you need and certifications? Just because it's so new, I'm sure if you go to the office four times, you're going to get four different answers. There's actually people that have set up a really good business of setting people up in

their pop business. usually lawyers and they'll cross every T, dot every eye. Good for them. Yeah, pretty good. I don't know anything off the top of my head right now, but there's definitely people out there that'll set you up in the pop business, and they'll tell you every single law in that area. I'll fight for you if they have to in, like, city council meetings and whatever is.

Well, the people that I've met that have started edible companies, when you talk to them, sometimes on the show or whatever, they always say they had a knack for making edibles. They just had a knack for making Edibles that for years people told them Man, you really know what the fuck you're doing. So one day they lost their job or whatever the fuck happened

and they started making this particular edible. Have you been good at this? I mean, the fucking gummies are great. I don't know who taught you how to make them. I don't want to fucking know. You know, but it's... It's just R&D, and I come from a line of spam. My mom cooks like a motherfucker.

She cooks really good. I don't know what I'm going to boil or everything. Anything that you can possibly think. And I have that in me. I love to spice things. I have to try things as I'm going. I cook for my family almost every night. So it's natural that edible company would be me and Pete's future.

Be honest. Is it Tweety's recipe? No. That's our own recipe. We found similar recipes. And we merged like four or five different recipes. And even that recipe, we've changed it over time. And people like, hey, they're a little tacky.

Hey, they were a little dry. They're a little this. Like, you know, like, all in the first, like, few batches, we got people around us that told us what they were and what they weren't. And we fixed them. They weren't always this strong. And now they are so that they could hit people. They need to uppercut people. You know, there's a thing called a jiu-too lifestyle where people eat asa-eat bowls and, you know, they get fucking whatever the fuck they do.

There's definitely a lifestyle to this. And you guys are definitely the leaders in it. Ari's a close second. this is Ari's lifestyle Ari, he loves all this shit Like when I talk to him You know It's funny what people think you want to do

And what you want to do Like if you ever ask yourself What can I really want to do right now Fuck the podcast Fuck Joe Diaz What do I really want to do You know what I want to do I want to fucking move to Mexico

And make beads And sell them on the side of the road Need tamales all day For I'm 800 pounds Would that make you happy I mean Lee Hell yeah I thought about

You know like you think about that later. When I was a kid, I wanted to be Charles Brunson. I wanted to have a little apartment and not have a girlfriend and not have no relationships and not, you know, I knew that if I would get my, I wouldn't need to talk to people. I mean, I had this whole thing about living on an island. I couldn't even imagine

living like that right now. What would make you comfortable? I mean, what do you guys want to fucking do here? If you could do what the fuck you want to do, Lee, what would you be doing right now? This. I can honestly say this. You really like this. I love this. I love you too. And then the only other thing, and I talked about it on my podcast,

today is what I'm trying to do in Toronto. I really think it'd be cool. Because I've always wanted to go on like business trips. Like my dad wanted to go on business trips. I don't know why it just seems like it's cool. And I feel like young comedians could really start podcasts now and then grow a following. Like imagine if you had fans, like those fans were talking about in Houston, if they were listening to the podcast back then.

and if I could go around and help young comedians start podcasts Well, I think if you have a feature act, let's say Right And he's a sharp kid And he's living in Montreal, Minnesota, San Francisco He's getting a little work

You know, he still can't make it professionally He doesn't need to You know, he's got a good day job In the daytime Why not? Why wouldn't you be involved in the podcast? You know, and every listener counts. Every week you get a new listener

And you flourish after four or five years when you're ready to go on the road, these people have been listening to you. You've been in communication with them. You've been email them back and forth. You have relationships with these people. In three years that we've been doing this podcast, I have relationships with a lot of listeners.

From Dante Gazzini, you know, there's a lot. Dante's a good guy. He's a good guy. There's a lot of people, you know, John Cutler, you know, his wife. I mean, you know, Leon, Constantine Rain. Jordan Lee called me today to get me of diet. Jordan Lee was at the comedy store last night. looking like fucking James Dean

before he went off the cliff. You started, you know, Edgar, you start these relationships to people you don't hang out with them, but you're friends online and you support them, they support you, you put a pick, whatever the fuck it is, you know,

it's become something else. So sure, I think a comic, a young comic would benefit from talking to you, you know, the same way. You have a set of things that will work for a podcast, they're all going to learn by trial and error.

Right. If they really put their hearts in, This is what they want to do. This is just another aspect of being a comedian. Right. You know, this is like a writing. This is going to make their career, but I see what it does for me, a guy who does the sound. And I talk, but I'm not a comedian.

I don't have an outlet that I'm trying to bring people to. So, yeah, I can only imagine if I did and I've been doing it for two and a half years, what I could be doing. And it's just, I don't know. I just talked to Johnny Roque, and he's just so cool and so nice. and it's everyone's so nice to me through you like everyone like there's a couple of jerks but like you see all these people

and not that they're struggling but like you can like I've heard to talk about it and you can see when someone's poor or something like why wouldn't you want to help someone if like this like just talking could really help their career? You know what you, Simone, Johnny Roque,

DiAgostino, Rizzo, you know what you guys all have in common and there's probably other names I could throw in there, maybe two guys that aren't doing comedy, maybe they're promoters, you're all looking for your way. So even though you may not all be comics,

you're all in the same part of your life where you're looking for something. You're at the same threshold or whatever the fuck it's called of where you're there. You're just about to snap onto what you want to do, adjust the wheels, and get stronger the longer you do it after that.

Some people take three years, but some people takes 10 years. You're at that point right now. you've got a couple products to work with. You're not small time no more. You're just not making gummies or monos. And you could still whip out the peanut brittle if you wanted to and if you had mass production, you know,

and you can still whip up other products. Right now, this is the time to get into this business. And if you've noticed, also, when I first got my license, there was nothing like this, Lee. Chocolate bars, to get high, how big with it? You had to eat two fucking Nestle bars, Lee. That's fucked up. To get 80, 160 milligrams.

And there was no 160 milligrams. and those things in those days. You didn't know what the fuck was in there. It wasn't no 80 even. You didn't get as fucked up as we're getting now. And I can't imagine where their business is going to go in two or three years, where you're eating a throat lozenges and it's got 8,000 fucking milligrams in it. I used to have Listerine strips that were, that they used to get you fucked up.

What happened to those? It's a good question. Yeah, they were not good business. They were all over Hollywood. They were down here, though. Yeah, they were big time. That's what Rogan used to have. Those things would light you up.

I think I came in right after that. Those things would light you up. They would light you up. They had one of those. It stuck together. Oh, my God. It was 15 times for the whole pack. Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all stuck together. I had that shit on a plane. I thought I was going to die. I was one of the worst trips of my life. Get the fuck out of here. I fucking took one from Chicago to Burbank with Martineau. This is when we all worked riddles.

It was Philadelphia. Felipe, Martine, me, Chivago. We all went, Ranchobob, whatever his name is, Salibum. And that morning I get up at 6 in the fucking morning. I look at my wallet to give the lady the ID at the Southwest County. In those days, there used to be a tremendous flight from Oar, not from Midway. Yeah, Midway to Burbank. Oh, it was tremendous.

It got you going to attend the morning in Burbank from Chicago. You could stop it. It was early, though. And when I went to give her the license, the strip, you know, I came in a little seal of meal-type deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I looked at it, and I thought it was one. And as I was putting in my thing, I saw it broke, and it was two of them, and I'm like, fuck. It's seven in the morning.

I eat a sandwich at the terminal. Holy, I had my shirt off. That's the first time I took my shirt off on Southwest. In those days, they had the seats that faced each other in the middle, two or three of those, where you had to sit and looking at somebody? And I was in the middle seat with these old Christian women and dog. I started sweating profusiously. I had to take that fucking shirt off.

The sweat was coming off my tits. What did you weigh back then? What did I weigh? 390. I think that's why they stopped selling me because everybody that I know that's had one has a story like that. Like, damn, I almost died. I had them all at once. But that was the beginning of shock.

Like, they put me into shock. Like, that was the roughest hour and a half. It was cool for like two hours. and then the last hour and a half was fucking hell. People weren't ready for that. No, it was hash right on there. No, they weren't ready for it. People were using hash and Keith.

People weren't wearing... There was another one too. There was a gum... Now and later. Cushmart when they were on Ivar. I remember Cushmart. Cushmart, before they... Cushmart went on to becoming this two-floor thing in Hollywood that did...

He bought the building downstairs and they were doing recommendations. It was one-stop shopping. I remember when that. It was small. It was. I remember when they were on the one street in Hollywood, and they was in an office building, and they got thrown out. Because the office, people couldn't take it no more.

They had dentists in there. You could smell weed, the fucking dentist office. It's hysterical. Right on where the sandwiches, where you get the sandwiches over there. But before that, they were on Gawa. You ever go between Hollywood Boulevard and Sunset? There's no shacks on the side? I used to work on Sunset and Gallo here.

They had shacks. They were in a shack, and I'll never forget going in, And then they had those now and plenties. What are they called? Now and ladders? They were a little skinnier. And when you looked at the baggie, you could see the haze on the juice coming out of them. And one night I went home and popped two of those.

Oh, Lee. That was horrible. I puked. I tripped that night. I saw stars. I kept seeing purple. I couldn't breathe. I had a crawl.

I drank fucking iced tea. I drank water. It was a bad trip. It's a bad trip. I had trim. No. I fucking took too much. At that time, my body, we were eating brownies, you know, like we were eating little brownies. You didn't really know

how many milligrams were in. We weren't really fucking bitching heavy in those days. Did you just say it's a good one? Oh, yeah, when you get too high and, like, I've been to clubs where the ladies, like, do not eat the whole, I'm like, nonsense. Yeah, all that shit.

When a fucking girl tells me don't eat it because I'm going to get, I ain't a third dinner, you also weigh 90 fucking pounds. I'm a fucking 300 pound gorilla. And I've been doing it. You're 22. And give me another one too. Yeah, give me another one. As soon as somebody tells you,

don't eat. Did you bring your car? Don't drive. Because you're a fucking pussy. That's why. That's what the fun part about is fucking driving. Yeah. The lights get all fuzzy. Oh, my God. But when you've been doing it like in hardcore, it's like, like, my state of mine is different.

I'll tell you something. The lights get fuzzy from me. It's scary at night. Oh, my God. If I'm high and tired, yeah. It's a different. I tell you what my eyes get fuzzy on stage. You have no idea, guys. You can't see it all. You see, but you can't look up.

As soon as you look at the lights, they start going like this. They start switching around, like somebody's playing with your head. Like, you got knocked out. That's what happens on stage. When you mix the adrenaline with the T-8C, that's why I go crazy, guys. I don't go crazy because I go crazy because I got 500 milligrams of me. This is the second show. It's fighting testosterone.

and God knows what else in my body. I get on stage, I could see the front rows. I just can't look at the lights. As soon as I look at the lights, that's how I know I'm high. Yeah. That's how I know. Sometimes I'll eat two stars and go, this ain't going to fuck me up tonight. And that's just sweating and shit.

Oh, my God, and I'll get on stage and bam, the lights start switching on you. Because it's a different game on stage. It's like, you know what I'm saying? It's the same as Jiu-Jitsu. But I've handled it for so long, but I'm good. Jiu-Jitsu. There's no way I can handle it. That's real. That's a guy on top of you.

Excuse me, trying to fucking joke you to death. That's fucked up, yeah. But I go on stage and see the lights move around. That's scary. And that's how I know. I'm fucked up. And I just ride that. Once I see the lights, guys, I just ride it after that because that's it. All systems are go, cuck sucker.

No, this is a good product. I'm fucked up. I'm fucked up. But I'm fucked up in a different way. I'm not Googly fucked up. I'm fucked up in a nice way. We use hybrid. We don't use something

too indica, two sotiva, somewhere right in the middle, so you can still function, but still get fucked up. Fucked up. That's all we, listen, that's the result,

okay? I don't give a fuck how you get there. I just want to get fucked up. I want this, I want people to try this and go, you know what, man, maybe I could get off my pill addiction. That's what I think this is for.

I've given these two people that take morphine in really dangerous amounts, and I'm like, here, try a few of these and see if it works. I don't know if it's going to work. I've never been in that much pain where I take morphine, but they switch.

And they feel better now. My buddy's grandma is, like, she takes, he shows me the empty bottle. She's like, look, that's what she had last week. It's like, holy shit. And he buys, like, 10, 15 of them a week for me. I think Leo sleep like a fucking king tonight, Lee. There's no thinking about it. I'll be asleep.

I'm telling you. I want to sleep like a baby tonight. When you told me you were coming down today, I got so fucking happy. because I'm going to sleep like a baby. I got to get up at 2 in the morning. I wonder if Lee's stomach like cringes a little when he knows where I'm coming down here

because he knows where he's getting better. I've been, I mean, people give me shit. I get high a lot now. You know, I would call him at 9 in the morning and start my little torment. You'd get high at 9 in the morning. 9 in the morning. No, no, no.

I would call him at 7.30 and start already as an infant that we're going to go deep. You better call your mother and get the will red. You know, I go into him. Call Paul, give her a hug. leave with a wallet. Give her a hug. Give her your wallet.

Like left he did. And Donnie Brasco made up the wall. Call the hospital, see if they take your insurance. Every hour and a half. And then, like, at like four, it would be like four, five, six. And, uh, yeah. I mean, I get too high. By the time he'd get here, he'd look at it.

And as he was eating at, there were a couple nights I could see in his face that he was looking at the job ads that day. I knew there was a couple days that he was, like, looking at in line. Like, I don't know where my life is going. and I'm 26. I could be an assistant manager by the time I'm 30 at the fucking donut place. But he stuck it out and now, you know, listen, man,

you got to have a good time sometimes. When I first got out here in 06, I started working for a cannabis club. That's the funnest shit you're ever going to undoing your entire life. We used to open up at 8 in the morning. 7.30, we used to be through the door and the 8 in the morning we used to open the doors. You better believe every single morning

there was a secret society of 9 of us. fucking getting stoned 9, 10, 15 blunts we're all passing in a row guy shit before we go to work like 7.30 in the morning, 7.15 in the morning Yeah, but the one do you have to get for breakfast? You have to go and get like 24 eggs. But that's part

of your deal. See, when you do... Listen, you have a system. People have a system. I know people who get up in the morning and drive 25 minutes, have like coffee in the morning or protein shake and drive to work. Some people can't eat eat in the morning when they get on. Me neither. I got to have coffee and relax and get high a little bit.

Coffee and stuff. You get a little fucking tutu-turuts, and then you go to a diner with your boys before you go into the factory, and you fucking eat two eggs. In those diners, it's $4.50, and you get the whole thing. Two eggs, two pieces of toast,

two pieces of sausage, two pancakes, you know, for $4.50 and a cup of coffee. You can't lose at those places in Jersey and Pennsylvania or shit like that. And you get high, and it's great. I've always, I never could think about it. When I was young, I'm like, who the fuck gets high in the morning until I did it?

Love it. Until I did it. And I was like, oh, this is a different fucking league. If you don't need to be sober, being high all day, like, just enjoy your day. I started getting high in my sophomore year. Before that, I was getting high at lunchtime. I would get high, like, after school before. And then once I started before seven and getting high and going to the gym,

that's when you just break all the fucking boundaries. Like, once you start getting... Did I tell you today, the fucking bar slipped out of my hand, guys. I was sweating up a fucking storm. at the gym and I didn't put the things and I was doing close grip bench presses with 135 fucking pounds and guys the fucking my right bar slipped and I caught it in the air. I wouldn't be here talking to you guys right now because the bar would have hit the floor the weight would have fell down and this would have just caged right on me.

It was scary and I knew it. I fucking knew it. I didn't put my thumb. I was doing them so close that I didn't put my thumb under the bar. My wrist was hurting so I had a little. do them this way, so I would just bring them up and push very slowly on the last set. I picked it up, and as I

went down, the fucking bar slipped. It went right off my palm this morning. Tremendous. I caught it. The trainer came in. What happened? I said, none. She goes, make sure you put fucking collars on that thing. Joey, you're going to kill yourself. Yeah, I didn't go to Jitza today. I had that stupid audition so it cut into my day.

So I told... Were they looked at your hands? Huh? Were they looking at? No. This was to go down there and talk to the fucking guy. I'm telling you what? I was happy as Warner Brothers. Because if it was over that fucking hill, I would have had a heart attack. It was horribly. I left there fucking pissed.

And I go, you know what? I'm not going to get pissed. I had an audition. My agent's trying. I go, let me go home and put my shorts on. I walked to the Y. And I fucking did them upper. I did not do the elliptical.

I just did the fucking weights, but I did them heavy. And then I went outside and did like 2,000 fucking sit-ups with an 8-pound ball because it's all I know how to do for sit-ups. I just go back and kick my legs. and I was drenched today. I walked home dog. I had to drink two things and a fucking ice tea.

I got to make ice tea again. I lost every fucking fluid. I only lost like one pound. It's amazing. You sweat gallons and you'll lose one fucking pound. Motherfuckers. Motherfuckers. What's up, brother?

You ready for the weekend? He goes out that edible is taking the straw to hold on him. Good though. You want me to taste? I can tell. He's handling it. What do you got this weekend, my brother? I got two consultations this week.

All right. And then I don't. I don't know. I don't know what Paul and I are doing this weekend. What are you doing this weekend? What are you doing this weekend, my brother? I'm probably spending you with the family. How old is your son now? He's just turned one, 27th last year.

Oh, yeah, all the time. I watch him every single day. He's walking. He's crawling. Yeah, he's running is what he's doing. A little fucker. You lock up the edibles around? Oh, yeah, they're not even made. I took them out of the office now.

I took everything out of the couple weeks where I had a friend of mine come by. Separate houses, like not even like. And take everything. Yeah, I was. started getting scared by mistake. I let two chunks of hash on my night table. Yeah, and they grab it. They grab it. They grab it. They grab it.

I said, that's it. I took everything out. I'm nothing in the house. Well, it takes us that first time and then you're like, fuck. Yeah, they eat anything. They take the kids on. That fear is inside of you. Oh, fuck you. Because I know I would eat shit. I would eat anything. I'd eat cat shit when I was a fucking kid. So I'm scared. So I said, no, that's it.

No more weed in the house. No more gummies. No more nothing in the fucking house. It all stays outside. I'm dutely. Even though, you know, deep down, that if they're like any dose they have, then I'm going to die. They're just going to have a ride, you know? There's no lethal dose.

My little mercy eats one of those stars. She ain't going to handle that stuff. She's fucking crazy. She's fucking crazy. She's fucking crazy, dog. I'm convinced she's out of her fucking money. She's my daughter. She's definitely my daughter.

I mean, it's just crazy. But this, I told you, I'm going to have to pay for my sins. I'm paying for my... She swims, guys. It's all from running. How old though? She's a month away from being two and a half. and she's going from me to the mother

and you sit there and look at I look at the mother. Last week I was throwing up in the air five feet and she was landing and coming out going, more time. More time, daddy, more time. So it becomes a fucking blast. But sign them up for swimming. You got a bunch of swimming programs. I want to sign him up for anything he wants.

Everything. No restrictions. Everything. I don't give a fuck the piano, the violin, fucking face painting. Do it. Do it at least one time. You're not going to know what happens.

until you do it, bro. You know? You're not going to... Listen, you're not going to fucking know. I didn't know there are face painting classes. Yeah. I'm happy you're going down there. And I told you, it's a different

conversation, Lee. That is what I say to you about the gym. You start going to the gym with your girl. You turn the gym into something. You bring a movie thing. The gym is to clean out that fucking head to just think. If you go to the gym properly,

every time on the gym on the way home, you call me and go, I just thought it something. But you don't use the gym. gym like that. You put that TV on and you watch a movie so you're into the fucking movie so you don't see the thing. I'd rather you put a towel on that, bring a joint with you. And right

before you walk into 24-hour fitness, this is what you do. You go, and you go, turn the joint off. It'll last you a month and a half and your life will fucking change. And don't bring the phone in there with you? Because you don't have a kid. What do you give a fuck? Who's going to call you? Me, to annoy you, and the broad to text you. So you're on the tech

that you're going to fall off the fucking machine. Oh, no text on the machine. So you leave the fucking thing at and you go in there and watch what happens, your whole life will change after a month. Give me 30 fucking days, and I'll clear up your head. That's what you go to that. That's what martial arts is about. You go there to talk to different people

just so you don't have to hear about fucking podcast and comedians and my joke and my CD and a book and law school and fucking Mike Scholar Shamp. And if not, we're going to go with my cousin to see Lana Del Rey and ta-da-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. You know what that happens after to you?

for a while, your head blows up. So when you start going to other people and you see how the other half lives, it makes you appreciate that fucking half. The martial art, what I say to you in the beginning? I don't know what you're going to do with this, but I hope this opens your eyes to something else on Tuesday nights.

Whether you like this or not, you know, on Tuesdays from now on a 6thirty, I'm going to join the Strength and Conditioning class from scratch, beginners. And you go and you hope these fucking morons aren't in the movie industry. You pray to God, they're not fucking actors. You pray to God, they're just normal people. So when you get there, it's not that same boring-ass conversation.

That's why I go to those things. That's why I go. It's these kids, and they talk to me about their tournaments and how they're training, and they broke up with their girlfriend. Whatever the fuck. And I enjoy it. It's in contrast to the same shit you and I talk about. No, hence, no, pardon me.

I understand what you're saying? You know what I'm saying? You're with your brother all fucking day. What are you talking about all the day? We're eating the fucking Yankees and the fucking Yankees and the, fucking dog. You know, Gibbons are complaining about shit. Yeah, you know, and that's why I do that. It's called peace of mind

for one hour. For one hour you go in, if you can't do the hip escapes, you go, Zach, I can't do the fifth one. And you go to the side. And then when you're ready to go jump in, but while you're sitting there, you're going to think of something. You're going to go, wow, I didn't, oh my God, I could. You know what? I'm going to fucking

get in there. And even if they tap you, you're going to go, you know what, I'm going to go in there to breathe. Just, and every week I go in there, you go, this week, I'm the last 10th more seconds. And now it becomes a personal challenge. Now you got something vested in it. Yeah, this dude was really nice last night when we were rolling. Forget his

name, but he asked if I knew anything and I said no, and he showed me how to flip you over, like if you're on top, I think if you're on top, and I can flip you over. A sweep. Yeah, he taught you sweep. Oh, is that what it's called? Yeah, those people say, and here you are sweating on them, huffing and puffing.

They're like, all right, grab this collar. grow into my arm, pull that. You see what happens? All right, now choke, and you're like, okay. And they're like, no, no, choke hard. And you're like, I'm choking. They're like, no, fucking choke me. And you're like, and you're like, wow, this guy just let me fucking choking to teach me the technique.

That's like me come up to you and say, Lee, you didn't punch me, right? Punch me again in the fucking jaw. Who does that? And any other kick-bought or karate? No. In Jiu-Jitsu, it's a fucking wild brotherhood. I have not figured it out, but I tell you what, I don't need to. I just know I love it.

when you're on time the guy's sweating and you grab him and he could fucking kill you that's the discipline that's what the whole thing is about it's not about fucking killing people and choke you have a fuck about that

my pants keep falling down when I have it like do you have like a suit another belt like should I get it like a really long belt like always fall down just tighten the fucking I do let me give some shoutouts

I gotta give my brother out of here the guy must have walked the fucking Sun Valley already with that dog in back huh it's 100 degrees out there that poor. No, I'm sure he's in his truck. He found somewhere to go. Let me give some shout-outs here to my girl, Joyce Matheson, Evil Monkey, Cassius Morris, still making it happen, Michael Salgado, Jamez, Robinson, Ricardo Juarez, Joey Biamonti, Sandman, and my main man, Peter, motherfucking Garcia.

So where do people go? Let's clear this up. To get the strawberry milkshake bar, the cookies and cream, the brown dream bar, the espresso bar, and the Olgata bar, if they live in California. If you're in California, you're impatient, you can go to Los Gommies-Germanos.com. Or I'm on Instagram at Los Gommos. I'm on Twitter at Los Gommies. Right now, I'm doing patient to patient, but we're looking to expand to clubs in Southern California. Keep refrigerate. Look at the warnings.

Keep away from children and pets. Oh, Shidley. This is the rice pudding or cot. See, you don't know what you missed. And fine cheese. That's not going to be our official label. That's just for you. No, I love this.

label with the fucking ex. It's like those St. Bernard's. Remember those dogs that were coming to the mountains and fucking a barrel on their head? With a barrel on their head and fucking one of these on their neck. Fuck, yeah, ladies and gentlemen. It's a beautiful night here. Wednesday night, June 20, fucking whatever.

And that's it, brother. So where can they go? Is there a number they could call? So right now, no peanut brittle, just those gummies and just the white chocolate bars. Yeah, our products are gummies and the five. white chocolate-based products right there. Anything else would have to be a super special order.

We would have to have done a lot of business with you and to make something special for you. And if somebody wants to buy 20 of them and they live in Oakland, they'll contact you. Yeah, Oakland's really easy. That's right by me. I'm always in Oakland. It's a beautiful thing, Lee.

It seems nice and easy. Nobody got their feelings hurt, and we're back here, fucking Monday. Sounds fun. I go to San Diego on Tuesday with the fucking family. We've got to get higher again, though. What? We gotta get higher again.

Oh, tonight? Right now, right. Oh, no, I gotta get out of here. I'm fucking tanked over. I'm sober. We can't be smoking. You're not sober. Let me give some shout out to some people here.

Number one, on it.com. I used the fucking Shroom Tech to a sport, and I went there, and I did better than I've ever done. My shirt was wet, my lungs felt great. My face didn't get really red when I was doing Bent Over Rose. Shroom Tech makes it happen, man. You know, it works for. for me. I don't know if it'll work for you, but you won't know until you give it a try. Do me a favor. Also, they specialize in the alpha brain. The neutropics, complete earthgrown neutropics with

alpha-GPC and AC-11. Do I know what AC-11 is? No, I just know that you remember shit and your thinking is a little bit sharp and whatnot. Go to honor.com right now and press in. Church, I'm going to give you 10% off your first order and they have the stay on the program. Listen, they got a ton of fucking shit. You know, I got a box of stuff and I gave us into my your two buddies, they love the T-plus. They love the hemp chocolate is what I fucking drink every day. I fucking love it. 16 grams of protein, a scoop

gives you 32, your body can only assimilate 30 anyway. Why are you eating fucking 90 grams in those milkshakes? You know what I'm saying? Go to hemp chocolate right now. Go to Onond.com and press in. Cheers. Boom! And take a look at that great products. Whether it's the shroom tech sport, immune, whether it's the fucking alpha

brain, whether it's the motherfucking new mood, whether it's the T-plus. I mean, the Cocoa's the coconut fat for your tea and your chocolate. Trust them to Tonya. Go to honor.com. Number two, the best underwear in the market. Fucking hands down, all right?

Hands down. I use them to work out. Lee said his nut sack pops out of his underwear, so you understand what I'm talking about with me on these. Listen, not only are they fucking great to wear, only do they keep you dry, not only do they fit fucking great and you feel great when you're wearing them,

you have no problem. You'll wear underwear, guys, and there's always a prom. You always got to reach for your nut and pull that out and pull that out and pull that out That shit don't fucking happen with meandis.com. I'm telling you they're the best fucking underwear on the market right now. But who the fuck am I?

Like Joey, who the fuck are you? You're a fat buck. You probably stress those motherfuckers out. That's right. And they still work for me, and they still keep my nuts sack dry, and they still have no pimples on my ass because I got no fucking moisture. Whenever I wear those fucking underwear,

I get little white heads. I got to keep popping them and shit in the middle of the night. They go, pop, pop, pop, pop, with the sleep acne machine on. That shit don't happen with Mianties because they keep the odor out. They keep the sweat out. They keep me cool and they keep my nuts where they fucking belong. But don't fucking hear it from me.

Go to me on these.com right now and look at the great selection of women and men's fucking underwear that they have different colors, styles. They got great sweatpants. They got long ones. They got short ones. They got great like rash cards. They're a thin t-shirt. But hey, go to me on these.com and press in.

Joey. And what do they get? 20% off their first order? And free shipping in Canada and motherfucker in the United States. You're like, Joey. Are you fucking pulling my leg? No, 20%. Most Jews give you 10.

The people I run with give you fucking 20 and free fucking shipping. So go to me on these.com and press in. Joey. Boom! And get 20% off, all right? Number two, you're like Joey. Fourth of July is coming. You and another fucking Nick the tour on this other fucking Jew fuck.

You're talking about food? What do you got for me? You know what I got for you? Come here. Bring your ear close. Nature box, cocksucker. That's what I got for you. You know what it is?

Free. F-R-E-E. When was the last time you got something for free? Nobody gives you nothing for free. All I'm telling you is go to naturebox.com right now and look at the great fucking selection of shit they got. Nutrition, healthy, they have resealables so you can bring them in and only eat three of them

instead of the whole box like a fucking fat animal that you are when you got fucking, when you're high, you're fat fuck. Because I was one of those people. In fact, I'm still am one of those people that I got control. So you'd have a resear. You'd have to eat everything right there. Because fat people always think everything's going to go bad, even though it's not going to go bad.

So we eat the whole box. And we justify it to make better with fucking Nature Box. They have a seal. I never re-sealed it. It never lasted. That's because you got problems. The garlic plantains, the South Pacific plantains, the chocolate nom-noms. Listen, they throw in heat over there at Naturebox.

But don't take it from me. You know what? It's for free. You're going to pay for shipping and handling, maybe two bucks. Stop complaining. Go to Naturebox.com and press in. Go to NatureBox.com. slash Joey.

Boom. And there you have it. A free fucking sample box. Two big bags and three little bags. Who gives you that type of love? Uncle Joey. You got me on these, you got on it, and how about a big round of applause,

whatever the fuck you want to give him? For my main man over and nailed his life. Look at him. He's looking at me like Johnny Zambo. He's so high. He's trying to make a smoke more shit here. Thank you, brother, for coming on. Thank you for sponsoring us this whole time

and being a great sponsor and taking care of us and always bringing chocolates down here. It's always a pleasure. You should have brought Lee at Goomies. He lives for those fucking things. He eats the whole thing. Remember, when Lee first started,

he'd only eat the head. He's moved up. He's done, he's, he's fucking raised amongst the ranks. You can all aspire to this. Look at the shape of this fucking moutage. I love you guys. This week I'm in Boston.

Thursday night, I'm at the Comedy Store. For this is what I'm not, this is not happening. I'm hosting for my man Ari Shafir while he's on assignment in Israel. He's going to Jerusalem to see if Jesus really died. And beside that, I love you, motherfucker. See you Monday.

Stay black and we'll be here. Have a great weekend. And Boston, get ready of fucking rock cock suckers. This show is brought to you by naturebox.com. Don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting, healthy snacks. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels. Go to naturebox.com slash joey. That's naturebox.com slash joey.

And also go to meetundies.com slash joey and check out the picks of the men's and women's underwear they have, shirts, socks, socks. shorts and sweatpants. When you go to me on these.com slash joe, you're going to get 20% off of your first order and free shipping in the United States and Canada. And lastly, go to onit.com and use co-worded church to get 10% off of all the great optimization products.