The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #299 - Joey Fillato and Big Al

Episode Date: July 14, 2015

Joey Fillato, Friend of Joey and Big Al, Former Criminal who was working at the same time as Joey F and Joey Diaz call into the podcast to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50 Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. They are also produce some of the best edibles on the market, Los Gummies Hermanos Recorded live on 07/13/15 Music:  For The Love OF Money - The O'Jays Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet I'm Losing You - John Lennon

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And right now, when you use Cobra Joey's Church, you're going to get five hit E-sigs for $50. It's Monday, cock suckers. It's Monday, cocksuckers, July 13th. A beautiful day to be alive. If you're Jewish, this is the anthem. If you're not, this is the anthem. Church of what's happening now, you bad motherfuckers.

What do you think you're dealing with? It's America, motherfucker. Wake up, watch that monkey. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? What's happening, baby boy? I had a great weekend. I bet you did. You were in San Francisco walking around.

I did. I have to thank you for that, by the way. Italian tours. It was a lot of fun. It was a, and we don't talk about it that much, but you've been really great to me over the past couple years. You're a great man. Well, I've been thinking, because we're hitting 300 on Wednesday, and I told you that we were thinking about going to San Francisco for our anniversary. But hotel rooms are just insane up there.

And you were very, and you didn't tell me. but you gave me some extra money so I could go for my anniversary. So thank we really had a great time. We were a family here. Sometimes I felt guilty, but I'm not taking you to Boston. The plane tickets were so expensive. Oh, they're crazy. So I gave you the same amount for the plane ticket.

You know, sometimes you want to do something for somebody. Something nice. And you know what? You know, like I'm not a fucking, I'm a retard, but I'm not a moron, okay? And I know sometimes if I'm going to buy you something for $200, I'm going to go, you know what? What's Lee going to need more? Does he want $200 for some stupid fucking New England shirt?

Or does he want $200 to go get this nice fucking dinner with his wife that he could both enjoy? You follow me? That's the type of guy I am. So sometimes when I see it, like, I don't get people a lot of shit. But sometimes I see something, and I go, that fits that person's needs. I'm going to get it for them. And I look at the price tick and go, what does this person really need for me? Does he need this stupid fucking football shirt or hat that I was going to get you one time for $300?

Or do I give him the $250 and let him go? enjoy it. You follow me? That's the type of motherfucker I am. And it's nice to get a hat from time to time. I'm not saying nothing. Oh, no, it's great, but it's also like part of me for a second was like, ooh, I have all these bills. I can pay some bills, but then I was like, she

really wants to go and I want to go. We had a great time. Listen, you put work in. I'm not a big 10-day fucking vacation guy on a cruise. But I tell you what, a change of scenery does the show great sometimes. And I'm not to, Lee, I'm talking about Honey, we got no money, but I have enough to take you to San Diego,

to Costa Mesa, to get a sandwich and just to walk on the boardwalk. You know how many people like that? You know what people yearn to do something like that? Yeah. Sometimes it's the simplest things, Lee. I've always been into the simplest things, you know. And sometimes you have such a better time. Some of the best times I've had was when I was broke,

and making the best out of $18. Yeah. You know, making the best out of $18. with somebody. We didn't really do a lot of crazy things up there. We stayed in a nice hotel, but other than that, we went and did one of those tandem bikes, not the ones that are like two-seat, like back and back, but it's like you sit side by side. That was fun.

We walked around like the hippie hill. Have you been in the Golden Gate Park? Fuck yeah. I worked across the street from Golden Gate Park. Really? In 1985. What were you doing? Bartending.

Oh, wow. I had a bar called Rockin-Robbins across the McDonald's on the corner. Did you see that McDonald's? No. I went to Hate Ashbury. We went to Hayd Ashbury and there's that Ben & Jerry's. I went to that record store, right in, like a block down, and I got two Richard Prior albums.

And I took a star before I went. It was a lot of fun. It was just like, when am I going to be up there? San Francisco is a very neat city that everybody should see. It was my first, it was the first big city I saw when I got out of New York, and I immediately fell in love. Only one thing I got to tell you. I wanted you to stay at it.

nice hotel because that's a bad place to stay at a bad hotel. I'm not putting the city down or anything. The tenderline, all that shit down there, that shit's real. Yeah, we walked by it. Ladies and gentlemen, that shit's real. And as a young man, I was up there at the age of 20, and I saw more blood in a summer than I saw my whole fucking life in New York City. Really?

Right by the old original Joe's, I saw a guy getting stabbed once, and the brown, the blood was fucking black. like he was clinging to fucking life I saw another guy get stabbed I saw a fist fight with sticks one time when I was walking because I used to take the bus back from Hayd Ashbury

to the whatever the fuck I just told you The tenderloin And I'd have to walk two or three blocks I saw shit at night That was just I saw a pimp Beating the fuck I caught the tail end of the chick

On the floor by the bus station And the tenderloin So that was all And fuck and plus I saw the guy that was a Bougarone, hit the gay guys, and smacked their wig off. I saw a lot of crazy shit, so I'm happy that you stayed a nice hotel and you had no problem. It was, you know.

It was great. I mean, they used to have that show about the hookers. Didn't they have a documentary years ago on HBO about hookers? Yeah, they had a bunch of them. I love those shows. In San Francisco, yeah, yeah, it's crazy up there. The Chinese mob is up there. Really?

Yeah, that's all Chinese run. Do you, I don't know if it's, like, I'm the smallest person. Like, I'm not a tough guy at all. but I've always been, maybe I'm stupid. I don't really get scared in cities. Like, I make, I make good choices. I don't, I don't really go. I've never walked through Harlem.

You're not going to go by crack in the neighborhood at 3 in the morning. But, like, if I was walking, like, our hotel is right next to the tenderloin. And we saw some people who were like, eh, we probably wouldn't want to hang out with them. But if I was just walking, minding my business, like, they're not going to mess. I don't, I've never felt, like, scared that they would mess with me. If I don't, if I'm not being nosy, if I'm not, like, trying to, like, mess with them. If I just walk by, I don't think anyone's going to mess with you. I tell you, it's all in your body language sometimes.

Your body language really tells a lot of you. It tells the energy that you're giving off. Sometimes if you walk, some people walk and they antagonize people because they're flexing their arms or they're lost. You know, sometimes, you know, it's just body language is so much. I used to go into deep neighborhoods late at night, and I'd be scared shitless, but I knew if I contained my body and I kept eye contact to a limit and I walked like I had done it a thousand times.

before. Yeah. Nobody would fuck with me, you know. Atlanta was great, too. I had a great time. Was it really? Yeah, it's a nice little fucking club, man. It's very quaint.

The people were very nice. A nice little family. A nice couple came and gave me a candle from the Chattanooga candle company. A coconut motherfucking cream pie. Smells delicious. You haven't been to Atlanta since I've known you. I don't think, well, other than Rogan Special.

Right, the Tabernacle. They have the skull bones, which is 73 seats. So if I had 200 people there on Thursday, I'd have to do three shows on a fucking Thursday night. Is it an earthquake or someone below is doing something? I don't know. I think somebody below is banging fucking something. So the improv was like a year old.

It's a great little club. Nice little to have sushi on the menu. Really? The only knock I had was that they put me at a hotel where all there was was a palm and room service. And the California fucking cheesecake factory across the street. So every time I go to California, The only cheesecake fact is a 45 minute wait, even to sit at the fucking bar.

Yeah. So I either had a room service or the palms, which, you know, it's not fucking bad, but it's not what I usually want to fucking spend for lunch and dinner. Right, it gets expensive. Yeah, it gets fucking expensive. So weird, you tweeted a picture of original Joe's, and it's funny how I said to you, you go and you got to talk or into it. It's so funny how every time we go to San Jose, you've been with me. How many times do we eat at original Joe's? Basically every meal.

We went, we went for breakfast once. It wasn't even breakfast, but we woke. up and you're like it opens at 10.30 or whatever it opened and we were there as they opened the door. I think it's two steak, eggs with toast and they put the steak on the toast or the butter. I don't think we even got eggs. I think we got spaghetti. We got spaghetti. But it's, uh,

when we talk about food on the show or restaurants, I want people to know this so they know what I'm talking about. You know, man, if you go to that Lugar place, Peter Lugar in New York, that's a great steak. There's a bunch of places you go for a great steak. And I'll tell you what, on the way out, it's going to cost you $55.

I don't know about you guys. I can't pay $55 for a steak. That's how once in a fucking lifetime thing for me. We go, we get the mashed potatoes and, you know, we go to the lunch special at Ruth Chris and get the mutt thing, the fucking 8-ounce steak or something. When I talk about great stuff, and I know

people who listen to the podcast don't have the money to go to these fucking restaurants. No. But Original Joe's is one of those places that I could get a steak in there for $21. And it's fucking delicious with the onions and the mushrooms and the side of pasta. You know, it's, I love that.

place. To me, I don't like going to a place where I don't belong. Like, there's places where I don't belong, man. Right. They got 19 fucking forks. I just need one motherfucking fork. You know what I'm saying? I don't need 19 fucking for my salad and for the et tufei and shit. I'm not eating bread no more. Really? No, I stopped. You cut out all bread?

Good for you. That's hard. I got the wheat pasta, and the wheat pasta. I don't know the difference between that and the pasta, except the fucking carbs are the same. So what's the fucking difference? But I guess the... I think it's a lie. I thought that when I first started looking You think something like whole wheat is going to be better for you And then it's not I feel like I feel like they just eating the pasta isn't good for you Because it's the gluten and you get puffy and whatnot

But I was looking at that last night I had pasta whole wheat pasta cup And I'm still fucking dying here Carb wise Well this week and proved it to me Is that it's all about working out Because we stopped and got We already stopped this place called Casa de Fruta

With a whole bunch of candy We got McDonald's ones and I lost weight in San Francisco But you walked. But you walked everywhere. So that's all it is. I feel like that. I mean, you have to keep your diet under control.

But if I can lose weight, eating candy and McDonald's, and you just walk it up and down hills, that's all really. Because you work out a lot. You work out almost every day, it seems like. Well, I try to do something every day. Yeah.

You know, a little something every day. Tomorrow I walk, Mercy, and I'm going to take my wife to breakfast, and we're going to go doing Doug with movies or hi, whatever the fuck it is. Then I'll come back and I'll try the deadlift or something. I'll go to Jiu-Jitsu Wednesday. By Thursday I'll take a day off, maybe Friday, do upper and lift.

Okay. I always try to do something. This weekend I did some great stuff. I got on the bicycle for 20 minutes, then I jumped on the electrical for 30, and then I jumped in the pool for 20. And I got to tell you, I was fucking sore Sunday. When I flew Sunday from Atlanta, I couldn't even fucking move. Do you know I slept three hours on the flight?

Oh, good for you. You know that? That my sleeping ever since I went to, to Jiu-Jitsu and learn to breathe on my back and not panic. I'm sleeping now, brother. So it's not like you're losing weight and it's just lessing the sleep apnea. I think that too. I think that my, but I'm also not having that fear.

I had a big time fear of being on my back. Anybody who has sleep apnea and the numbers are high, you develop a fear because you wake up choking and there's nothing worse than waking up. So I understand waking up choking is scary, but like how does that translate to in Jiu-Ditza when you're awake. Okay, because after you go through that and after you get it treated, okay. You still have the lingering effects of the going on your back.

Okay. And every once in a while when you go for air, let's say you go to move and you put your shoulder on the hose or something, and the air locks up and you miss air, you go into that panic state. Oh, fuck. And that's what was happening to me. I went to see the psychotherapist and you get, but it was nothing about that.

It was just getting on my back and overcoming the fear. Remember when Higin was here, he told the story about getting on the guy and the guy said, get off me, I'm panicking. He goes, no, breathe, stop what you're doing and think about this and get me off you. If you don't panic and you capture your breathing again and your mind clears

because breathing really keeps your mind very clear. No matter what's happening to you, if you keep breathing in and out your nose and at least you know where you are, you know, it clears your mind. It makes you block or run or see an opening or he left his leg opening or he dropped this.

There's knife on the floor. I could stabbing the calf. You know, breathing. Just keep breathing. You know, even in jih Tzu, when you go through like a big thing, like he goes for you, you go for him, you stop. Now you stop. You're breathing.

You're collecting your thoughts. You're looking at him. Now you're looking at his right arm, but you know you're going for the left arm. Right. You know, so there's just little things. Breathing controls all that. Breathing is everything. Breathing controls the lifting.

When you lift weights, if you do certain exercises a certain way, if your breathing is aligned with your body, you're an unstoppable force. I was never taught to breathe till five years ago. What do you mean by that? I was doing everything and holding my breath. Okay, got it.

Okay, so the weights come on me instead of breathing. So as they go down, you exhale, and as you go up, you either inhale, exhale. I don't know which ones. I'm just saying once I'm on there, so boom, boom, and you know, so.

It's all with your breath. Your breath controls a lot of movements. Right, yeah. When people are boxing and they throw a punch, they throw those little things out, you know, whatever the fuck they don't. And then they retract through their nose, then they spit out through their mouth.

But in every aspect, breathing, it's like when I go swimming, I have to change my breathing. Because as I'm going, if I'm pushing, I'm sucking in. Okay. As I'm putting my head up, I'm sucking in oxygen. Once my head goes down again, I'm blowing it out in the water. So when you see somebody swimming, when they turn their head, they're breathing.

Right, yeah. And as they go back and they're exhaling, breathing. And then they get into a beat. So for every two things they do with their arms, they might pop their head up to the side. But they don't pop it to flex their muscles. It's all part of this motion. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

So it's all part of a motion. When you see a really good swimmer, when you see guys like you and me sweet, we go for air. When you see a really good swimmer breathe, it goes through the motion, through his arms. He just pops it right there. That motion?

he's inhaling. And as he hits into the water, you see bubbles coming out. All of a sudden, I'm fucking SpongeBob Squarepants. Is that what happened to you at the store, do you think? You hold your breath for too long?

No, I just walked up the stairs and wasn't thinking and just had negative thoughts in my mind and they escalated into something else with the reef. You know, when I go for a blood test, if I don't feel that needle, everything's cool. It's once I feel the needle,

it sends a message to my brain and my brain decides, I said do something with that message. Either I control it or I let it grow out. If I breathe normally and listen to the music and dance while I'm getting the blood taken out, everything's fucking primo. But if I tense up from that thing, once I tense up my breath, now I'm catching my breath. And now I'm thinking, oh, my God, I'm going to faint.

Oh, my God, I'm going to faint. And I'm going to fucking faint because you're telling yourself you're going to fucking paint. Right. That happens to me. I have an issue when I get high around Paula because she doesn't do it that often now anymore. She doesn't want to do it normal. She just can't because she has the DA. Like she can do it maybe sometimes, but almost never.

But if I see her, I start to giggle sometimes. I was wondering, do you ever get giggling on weed? Do you ever sit at home? All the time. Monday, when we ate the 500 milligrams, I kept going home and thinking about calling you, telling you, is you ever given that Dave T-shirt guy? Nope. We're going to put the fucking pressure on him on Wednesday.

Oh, that was so terrible because I was high out of my mind, and I don't like confrontation, and he was getting all these calls and people. pizza sent to him and I was like he's going to call the police. We're going to go to jail for harassment. He can't do dick. He can't do dick. I'm going to have to test him. Joey.

You forget about us, cocksucker? Don't make me start the fucking regime at 8-0-1 again tomorrow because that's what we'll do. We fucked his world up. He was getting pizzas. He got everything. Fuck him, dog. He was a scumback to us. He was just a jerk.

He wasn't even polite. He was. He was just playing out fucking rude. You tried to be nice. I tried to be nice. And what do you want me to do? What the fuck I want you to do? Make good on this shirt.

Boy, can't do that. Then what are you talking about? Then why do business with you? Right. Then we're going to fuck up your Yelp. So when all these fucking Uber drivers call you to get a T-shirt, they know you're a fucking sack of shit, we should just call them right now on the fucking podcast

and tell them what we fucking think. You want to do it? Fuck yet. Tell this cock sucker what's cracking and shit. We'll send a fucking cow. I feel like going down there with the cops. That's what we should do. Now, leave them alone because I want to talk about drug rips today.

We got my main man, Joey Falado, You know, when I told that story that day on how I would set up a drug rip, I got so many fucking emails. Really? Oh, my God. It was like people's mind were blown. Like, they had never heard. They'd never watched the TV show before. Nothing like that.

It's crazy how, for you, it's totally normal. But for people like me and I think a lot of the listeners, it's just like, at most, the most we ever did is buy weed from some kid at the high school. And I never even did that. And you're talking about casing places. And I'm just like, whoa. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, when you write the stories out,

that's when I really realized how fucking crazy I was and how crazy the situation was. You know, when Ari was telling me to get stories ready, I wrote a story about rob a drug dealer before I went to Colorado the first time. And just writing it on paper

almost gave me a nervous breakdown. What was it about? It was just a guy that my person, Mother knew, and they would come up from Miami in those days and get hotels in Union City, and you get two or three hotel rooms, and that's how you sell the Coke. And, you know, you go to the room, and then they take the money, then they go to, they call somebody, and you would call from room to room to room. Oh, okay.

So you had to put somebody with binoculars to watch and see what room they came out of. Jesus. And then you had to put cars there, and any time they moved out of that room, that's when you wanted to attack. Because when you have Coke in a hotel, you can't let maids in the room. Right. So you always have to have somebody in there switching shifts, you know? Would you ever have been like an informant, like a maid? And you'd be like, tell me when this so-and-so-and-so-and-one?

I fucking wish I had that. I never had that. You never had that? No. Like an inside maid. And they have them. I know for a fact that some maids will say, hey. But then again, the maids get in trouble.

If somebody gets robbed. Like in Boulder, a guy had a fucking truck filled with weed one time. And I guess he took eight of the pounds and put him. under his bed and the maid found him. Called the cops on the guy. That was really popular in Boulder. When I went to jail in Boulder County, like when they were holding me, 10%, 20%

of the people were in there were because of the hotel mistakes. Jesus. Just people going to a hotel, the cops come to the hotel at night and do a background check on all the guests. Really? Some weird shit. I've heard some weird as shit. Why not? Yeah. Fuck it. You know, and they've done

stupid shit. They've done stupid shit like that. You know, I've heard maids come back and smell weed. I think I don't smoke in my fucking hotel rooms. I don't give a fuck. I'm not smoking in my fucking hotel room. I don't care people do it all the time. It's like robbing a car. Once they come in, you're guilty. I smell the pot in your room.

That gives them the right to shit. It saves my room. What if I'm in Atlanta? There's no fucking legal weed there. Right, yeah. Any of these things, there's no legal weed. I smoke a joint. I go for a fucking walk, man. And nobody gets their feelings hurt, you know? But you never know. You give them, you know, I heard of people with 20 pounds of

coke in their trunk, smoking their joint in that car. Jesus. You get pulled over, they smell the weed. I'm going to open up your fucking trunk. You know, all these little things that cops look for, anybody looks for. These are just basic minor league mistakes. Do you have more common sense, or did you make these

mistakes? I watch people to make those mistakes. You force people to make those mistakes. You force them into something they won't do. Okay. I watched that movie focus on the plane. I watched two movies on the plane on the way to Atlanta. The first one was that Sean Penn going to Beirut or something

horrid. Him and the guy that won the Oscar for the one who's married to the chick, I don't fucking know from that movie with... I'm not sure. The Spanish dude. Antonio Benderz? No, the other dude that came after him that was in.

He's married to Penelope Cruz. I'll look it up. That fucking dude. Real good-looking dude. So Sean Penn does a movie with him. That movie was a fucking sleeping pill. But then there was a movie called Focus or something. with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and some hot little blonde chick.

Okay. And the movie's all about scamming people. About... Javier Bardam. How to scam people. And the main scam is this Chinese guy. That's a professional gambler. And they scam him at the Super Bowl

because him and her are betting numbers on the jersey. You know who scores first? What's he going to do next? And they pull the scam. Okay. Where the guy goes, I want to bet with you guys. They gamble loud enough to suck the guy in. And they just keep betting, bet and bet, and bet,

and they get it up to like $4 million, and Will Smith is going to lose, and the chick doesn't want him to lose because it's money they scam from all these. It's when a big event happens in a town. Right. How a team of people come into that town, the pickpocket, you know, that's why I hate those big events.

It's a sucker's paradise. That's when maids give information. That's when maids are like, fuck you. Joey D. is in this fucking other guy. guy in his room. I could smell the fucking coke in there. You know, I'm not stupid. I see the alcohol. I see the fucking residue on

the fucking glass tables. So this is what happens. When there's a Super Bowl, Indy 500, a big event comes to your town. Not only does your town get infested with hookers, but your town gets infested with small-time

crooks like I was. Really? There's like traveling crooks? Traveling crooks. No way. And all they do is run games. They fucking pick pocket you. And these people were very high tech. They would pick pocket you, you know, use the cards, take the cash, and then buy products with those cards and put them on eBay.

That's brilliant. That is fucking brilliant. That's why you get great deals on eBay. Oh, that's smart as fuck. That's fucking smart as fuck. People got a brand new computer for 300. Remember why I told you? I called to you house and say, what do you want?

I want a $500 computer. I'm a back-backed. an hour I want $250 cash. I'm not sure. I can't prove it. But I think there's someone in a post office around here with a card scanner because twice from Bank of America

I've got a credit card. And before I even activated it, I get a call. Are you spending $500 at Macy's this much here? And it's just, it's... This area here... This area here, you're crazy to put your card in anything.

In anything. Yeah, Jesus. Whether it's... This is Russianville. This is Russianville. This is up. here, you go to Glendare, your card's going to get stolen. You go to Las Vegas, your card's going to get stolen.

You know, there's people, you know, they put, like, that guy in that movie, in that fucking thing, they showed him taking a whole ATM machine out of the wall. That was fake. No way. I worked in retail for, like, five or six years, including restaurants and stores, and I never really saw any of that. So those waitresses, when they come to you and they say, you want to drink, yeah, let me run a tab, there's a guy sitting there with one of those machines, and she's,

She goes up to him with the card. He takes the card, swipes him. When she walks back, he puts your card on the table. So they already got your fucking numbers. That's when the weights is erring on it. Hell yeah.

But they got everything on camera, see in Las Vegas. So once you call that in, if a bunch of them appear, they're going to look through the fucking film. And those people who are looking for gambling people, they see those type of scams too. So it's tough to be a fucking criminal today.

It's got to be. Oh, please, because everybody's got a camera. Look at what happens in whatever with that pot store. They had visible cameras. The pot store that they broke into and the cops were eating the brownies. Oh, yeah. Where the fucking cop department's still saying that those guys weren't eating brownies. But they're on tape, eating brownies.

And there's more tapes. That's what they don't know. There's more tapes in the back when they were robbing their fucking pockets. The people had cameras on the saves, cameras on the floor saved. They had cameras everywhere. There's even more cameras. So, yeah, listen, if I had fucking money in my house, $200,000 and a half a kilo in my house, I'd have cameras that you'd see, and I'd have cameras that you wouldn't see.

That'd be the smart thing. Yeah, you have to. Let them take down the cameras and giggle. We got this, and you still got two more fucking cameras. Point to that your loot, point to that your door. Microphone. You can have everything, though. If you could have the money, you can have everything now.

You can't have your house while you're out of the house? Can you not? Doesn't red band? Red band has something that... They sell it for like 100 bucks now, like a web nanny camera. Even now they have, like, actual security cameras that you can do it. but it's uh yeah it's crazy do you do you think now if you like if you were to be born when i was born let's say and how many cameras and computers they have now do you think you still would have been

a criminal or do you think something else would have happened no because everything you do they got you on a fucking tape i mean you live in a fucking tape right whether i'm at the airport whether i get out of a cab you know when you go to the airport and you park your car you don't think you're being watched i don't think you park your car why wouldn't you i don't think i think i just don't think about it. I know. Yeah. If you're the NSA, if you're who's ever watching airports, I'm taking a bomb out of my fucking trunk and put it in my luggage or whatever the fuck I'm going to do. I'm watching that parking lot. Yeah. I'm watching a mile outside the parking lot. As soon as I make that right onto Century Boulevard, I got a camera right there from the NSA.

They have cameras everywhere, though. There can be a fucking truck. I just want to scratch my balls, and my balls were hanging out because I ripped my pants all the way down the middle. Today was I don't have a wardrobe day today. As I was leaving, I went to pour the iced tea, and Mercy put the lid on it and didn't tighten it. So I went all over my shirt, and then I got in the car, and my something got hooked on the door hinge,

and I ripped my pants right across the middle, but you know me, I didn't give a fuck. I went to the bank, I took out 50 bucks, I went to the weed store, whipped my dick out, nobody caught. No underwear? No underwear. Why?

It's 88 degrees. Does Mercy laugh when you make mistakes like that, when you spill juice in yourself? She didn't see it. She was in the other room, and nobody saw it. just me like an asshole. I used to love, I used to, I had a problem when I was young.

If I was uncomfortable with something, like if something made me feel awkward, I would laugh. So if someone fell, I would laugh. So I didn't know if Marysville. That's why I laugh at you when you're fucking all stone drooling like a mobile over here. Someone to have Joyful Auto call up. I haven't had him in a while. It's nice when we have people call up to break up the monotony.

Wednesday is our 300 fucking episode. That's crazy. 300 fucking episodes of a podcast. Who the hell does this crazy? Rogan's got 600, doesn't he? Yeah, at least. 669 or some shit like that. Yeah, that's what you were, yeah.

Six fucking hundred episodes. I thought about afterwards. 600 fucking episodes. What is Adam Carolla up to? He must be up to like thousands. Thousands. Mark Maren, thousands. Yeah.

It's amazing. Someone said something. I think it was Leon and Twitter said, like the original churches were great but chaotic. And like, I haven't even listened to them. but they must have been. Remember when we used to do football picks, and they were all always wrong?

Every pick we ever had was the loser. We just gave up on it. Well, when I started a podcast, I wanted to have people on that I had grown up with just to show the state of mind that I grew up in so people knew where the fuck I was coming from. Right. I thought it would simplify matters.

I thought people would listen and go, this isn't for me, or this is for me. And we had some wild times on the podcast. We had some wild times in the fucking apartment. But if you listen to the podcast, you can see how much you've grown. We've grown as people, we've grown as human beings. Even the people that come up to me now and go,

I've been there since Beauty and the Beast. Wow. You wouldn't still be here if you didn't hear something. So I appreciate that you're still fucking listening after 300 goddamn episodes. I mean, who else talks about drug rips? And I want to talk about this shit, you know? That day when we were talking about it,

my heart was beating. Really? Oh, just thinking about what it's like to get up in the morning. I have no money in the bank. A bank account was the farthest thing from my mind. If I didn't have it in my pocket in those days, I didn't have it, Lee. I would say to myself, when we're going to open up on the bank account? I'm going to be in there two days later, taking the money out.

There was no savings in my life back then. You lived by hustling, you know, and that's what you wanted. You wanted to bump into somebody that said, come here. I'm selling some Coke now. The cocaine business in the early 80s, mid-80s, it's like the podcasting business now. Nobody really knows. Nobody knows what's going to happen. Every day this fucking changes.

Now you got Periscope. So when people that sold coke didn't just start selling coke. They sold weed before the cocaine. Okay. And they figured, why am I selling two pounds of weed? And I could sell an ounce of coke and make the same fucking dope ring me. You follow me? Instead of selling this much, I'm going to sell this much.

So they had an idea. But also, nobody breaks into your house for a pound of weed. People will break into your house for an ounce of coke. People will set you up in weird ways for four ounces of coke. You know, the way the cops send you. You know, for a cop to, somebody's called? Not yet. For a cop to really get you, they have to make multiple buys of two ounces or more.

Okay. All right, two ounces is a standard. They're not going to bust you, the first two ounces. Well, isn't that a lot? Because didn't you usually buy it by gram? So if it's two ounces, that seems like a lot to buy for someone. But how the cop sets you up. Okay.

Is they buy a gram, a gram, a gram, an eight ball. Two ounces. Oh. Okay. They come to you and they say the Coke you have is tremendous. Now I want to buy two ounces. Once they go for that $56 grand, that's how they fucking get you to roll. Oh, okay.

You know, anybody could do a fucking year for a gram of blow. You know, it's distribution. You were distributing. Look at this fucking guy. You got a DUI. What do he do a week later? He went into a rehab. That's what you do when you get a week.

He took a week too long. So when you get busted for selling the gram of Coke, and it's your first offense, you could beat this with a good background, and if you do some work. What do I mean by beat it? You could do 60 days in the rehab and three years probation. They're going to test you, but you're not going to go to jail. Right.

That's beating. That's okay. You know, if you sold, cops aren't going to get you for a grant because a year. You could do it standing on your head. They're going to scare you and say, you should roll. You don't fucking roll for a grant. They're going to get you to roll for two ounces. That's when you do six or seven years.

Have you listened to the podcast cereal? No. I won't spoil it for anyone. but it's about a guy who was convicted of murder and they're saying might not have done it. And one of the things that is talked about in the case is that the main witness was coached, might have been coached by the police

or threatened like, we'll charge you with this unless you say what we want. Did you ever have any dealings like that? Like where they were like... No, but if somebody, if a cop wants to make a conviction, bad enough, they'll do dumb shit. Yeah.

You know what happened with Hurricane Carter, the boxer? And there's been thousands of arrests where they're wrong arrests, you know. But if a cop really wants it... Well, they're being pressured. That could be it, too. I believe a lot of shit, and I don't believe a lot of shit because I've done time. Right.

And you've never been somebody who's done time that's guilty. Nobody's guilty. Right. They all got set up. It was their uncle's fault. Nobody ever is guilty, okay? But the cops will fucking, you know, they could darken something up, man. They have all the power.

They have all the fucking power to darken something up. If it really didn't happen, eventually you'll beat it. You know, all these guys are getting out of jail now. 20 years later, 25 years later. I mean, you can't get your life back. What you could do is sue them for $20 million, get three, and get your dicks up for the 10 years you do have left in this world. You know, if you do 25 fucking years.

I can't imagine being in prison wrongly. But I could see it because whether it's smoke, there's fire. Right. You know, listen, Lee, if you're... walk, if you're here with me today for two hours, and a little shoot somebody at Subway Sandwich on fucking Laurel Canyon, and 10 people say it's you

when I say you're here with me, okay? Right. What do you think is going to happen? Probably 10 against one, right? I mean, and now they're going to break my credibility. Yeah. I mean, unless you're on microphone and people are watching you on you stream and you have a thousand people. Well, that's the issue. The trial was from 99 before they had any of that shit. Now,

hopefully it's going to happen a lot less. But that is crazy how that happens. I talked to Paul about that because she wants to be a DA, and she was kind of freaking out about it. Like how it's a lot of pressure to maybe put someone in who's not guilty. Well, listen, after a few years you see things for what they are. You know, you have a radar, and we're all compassionate at first. You're all very compassionate.

But once you've been a cop for five, six years, once you've been a DA for five, six years, and you see the horrible things that life really has to offer that most individuals in this life do not see you here and they probably get cynical yeah we hear shit now because it's on the internet we hear about that lady light her baby on thawing the microwave oven you know I mean because it's on the internet and news is national now

20 years ago you didn't hear all those things so cops dealt with it on a fucking local level right you know it wears on a cop to see that type of so once you get jaded or what's a word you use I figure. Cynical. Cynical. You think to yourself

that everybody's guilty. Right. Everybody, and you do this not just with that. We do this with when we're editors. We figure that every fucking company is robbing us.

Right. When we're comedians, we're always on the look for, you know, you're always doing all these things with watching your back. Right. Whereas a cop, I mean, anybody who comes in, there's always a good cop back cop, and there's always one cup that sucks you in,

and the other cop saying you're a liar, and you got to protect yourself. I mean, right now, God forbid tonight, something happens, and something happens that somebody dies that's close to me. Right. And I was over there. They're going to fucking call me in, and they're going to fucking rent me,

and say, you were there, listen to what happened. You got into an argument over a podcast, and you hit them in the head with a fucking thing of alpha brain. You know, they paint the picture, and now you've got to fight yourself out. And if you say the wrong thing, you're putting a fucking cell, my friend. So if you're putting a fucking cell

Here you are wrongly accused Or whatever the fuck you got I mean I could see it I've been very fortunate I've been scared half my life because of that Right Of being wrongly accused for something You could be driving

We could be leaving the podcast tonight At 6 o'clock at night Making a U-turner A cop of poloos over and say Get out of the car We just saw you at a bank heist Over on 66 in Communipal Avenue And there you are

Right There the fuck you are It's certainly We got a call Oh That's terrifying though What's up, my brother? What's up, Coco?

What's going on, my man? How you doing? Long time. Long time. He's going to be in Vegas with us. In September, my main man, Joey fucking F. What's up, baby? How's the family?

Oh, yeah. Is that Lee Syatt? It's been a long time since you spoke to the flying. The flying Jew always goes to Vegas. He's a staple. It's like going to Vegas in the 50s and not seeing Dean Martin there. You know what? And you don't know what?

He's up to. I can't meet the mine and fly you. He's up to 500 milligrams on edibles. He's shut motherfuckers down. Up to it doesn't really count if you puke in the kitchen. He fucking puked the tortellini because it's wholesale tortellini. I can't wait to meet you, Lee. I can't wait to meet you too, Joey.

What's going on, brother? Hey, Coke, you know what I got to call up? I got to call up on a landline because I really can't hear you too good. I'm going to call you right back on a landline. Take your time, but hurry out. All right. All right. Bye-bye.

No, being wrongly accused has always scared this shit out of me. You could be leaving somewhere at 2 in the morning, and somebody sees you, a blue shirt, you catch a beating, they take you to fucking, and half these people are, look at that guy in, whatever, that they was wrongly accused, he was driving home, they beat the fuck out of them, and he got like $3 million from the fucking city of Los Angeles.

Jesus. The reason the city of Los Angeles is broke is because they pay out all those lawsuits. Go ahead. What's up, Joey? Not much, baby. For all those listeners out there, Joey, bag a donut is back.

Oh shit. Jumping Joe Falado. Oh, shit. Joey, about six weeks ago, about six weeks ago, we were here. And I was talking to somebody, and we started getting into the story about drug rips, how in the 80s, nobody really knew what was going on, and people were pot dealers. And then we came along, and it was like, you know, I had only done two of them where we played cops and that type of shit. Everything else I did was some guy who fucking. beat us on three quarters of a gram.

We got pissed. We broke in his house and robbed him for an ounce and a half. Which to us in those days was a million fucking dollars. Sure, sure, definitely. You know? Yep. Well, you know, in my career, I did a lot of that shit.

I did something with a couple of guys that you probably know. His name is Big Lou. Okay, he's going to call in later. Oh, my God. He was the man with that, Cokes. I mean, all we did is we had this guy

in New York City we had this black guy that it was like a Patterson cop and he would go around and he just fucking sit on like 179 street and Amsterdam and just look for people

you know what I mean and all of a sudden we get a phone call it would be me Big Lou and Danny those are the ones that would do it you know

and we did it for a while we had teams man we had teams and Big Lou comes in right ask more about Fosco there was this you know on 178

and St. Nicholas. Right when you come off the bridge, you make that right turn. Before the bridge? Right there. After the bridge. After the bridge. Right there.

It's a 34th precinct. And we took this guy one time, man. We got in a van. We drew him in a van. We locked him up. We handcuffed him and we drove him around for like two hours, trying to beat the shit out of him. Beating him up, trying to get keys to his house.

He wouldn't give us the keys finally. He gave us the keys to his house. We'd go into his house. He got nothing there. So Big Lou tells him, listen. And I don't know if you ever met Big Lou. Big Lou is 6 foot 6, 300 pounds. He's very, very scary.

Big Lou told him, say, listen, man, you know we're not the cops. So it's either you, money, or your body. What he said, the guy all of a sudden made a phone call. We were standing coaxed right out on 178, right out in front of the police station. He makes a phone call to this guy. Now it's me, Lou, and this guy, Falsco. I got a 9-millimeter in my bag, in my pocket. And Lou's got a badge on with a shirt over it and a hat.

So now he thinks first he thought we were cops. So all of a sudden this guy pulled up and all of a sudden he starts saying something in Spanish, something in Spanish. All of a sudden, Fosco gets in the car, the other guy gets out of the car. He goes, hold on one second. I'll be right back. Now we got this guy holding him for ransom. So we're talking all of a sudden 20 minutes later he comes back with a bag, a brown bag, with 10,000 in cash and a kilo.

And he gives it to us. a sudden we let the guy go, we jump in one of those gypsy cabs, and boom, we go right over to the, right over to his house in Palisade Park. That was a great score of us, man. Oh, my God, there's so many of them I could tell you about. How old? How old were you, Joey? Was this like high school? Was this like high school or later? Well, this is a little bit later, Lee. This is probably about when I was 20, 21 years old. You know, that that was my, that was our job. That was our job. You know, I mean, and we would just live by score by score. You know, I mean, We had one time we were, we had no money, and all of a sudden, Danny was like,

well, I can do somebody out in California. He's got a lot of weed. We're like, okay, let's do it. So all of a sudden we start planning this caper, and we go to Luce House and we're figuring out things. And Lose Father, Lose Father was a career criminal, too. He's like, you guys are fucking crazy? How are you going to get the hardware on the plane? The hardware, meaning the guns and stuff like that.

So we're like, we don't know. So all of a sudden, we go out to California, and we're going to meet. Can I say his name, Jamo? I can say he already said it's over. You know, we meet him. All of a sudden, we meet him one day. Danny goes to meet him. We come back the next day.

We go to a, like a gun store, and we get pellet guns, Coco. We get pellet guns. All of a sudden now we go get $2,000 in cash, and we put it all in singles, and we put $100 bills on the outside. So it looks like we've got a lot of money. Danny calls up Jamo. He meets us at a hotel.

Now, Danny is setting up. came out. So all of a sudden he comes into the hotel. I'm standing in the closet and you have no other vents in the closet you can see out the door and Lou is on the balcony. All of a sudden he comes walking through the door. I jump out with my pellet gun, but I have it up in the

egg because I don't want him to see the front of it because he's now, the hole was small. All of a sudden I said, freeze. You're under arrest. All of a sudden, Lou came off the balcony, grabbed him, through Danny and the other guy on the floor. And I'm like, oh my God, there it is, Lou. I opened up the bay. It was 62. pound of weed in one big giant

like two bags he had. We grabbed them, we handcuffed them to the sink, we threw the keys there, and we left them both there, we just bolted out of there. Some of the shit we did with Lou is fucking crazy, man. Crazy with that big guy. Oh my God. I remember handcuffing a guy

and I was never so scared in my life, Joyce. By the time I handcuffed Bella, I was pretty good. By the time I handcuffed the guy I went to jail for kidnapping, I wasn't scared. But before that, I had handcuffed two guys, and I was shitting my fucking pants off. Oh, man, I mean, it's what we did.

It's all we did for, like, maybe five years straight. We would just, you know, live score to score. So all of a sudden, you know, it would run out. All of a sudden, boom, we'd wait for a phone call for this guy, Al, and all of a sudden, every couple of months, we would go over there and take down the drug dealers. You know, I know a couple of guys had a, like, you remember he went to jail. his name is Dave, forgot his last name.

Yeah. He went to jail for killing somebody. They kidnapped him. They stuck staples in his head. They killed him and Anthony Kuceli. You know, they all had, everybody had their own teams and stuff,

but thank God I never got caught. And, you know, Lou, Lou, did a lot of them. Lou had a really big one one time, man. He could tell you someone that was unbelievable. That's how I met him, though,

you know, doing that kind of stuff. You know? He was a professional boxer, too, Lou. Wait can you tell you some of little stories? You know, you graduate in 85. I graduated in 82 and I was always a year old. When my mother died in 80, my mother had, my mother was in that world. They were coming to the house.

The first time I did blow with lubs, I stole it from 10 kilos that were in my basement. I didn't even know what they were worth. And I would just take Coke and give it to my friends. I didn't know what the fuck it was. But after my mom died, I kept in contact with those people. and these people were serious fucking Cubans and they would come up from Miami call me and say they're in town

they want to see me for me to give them money and then they'd introduce me to their friend in Union City and I'd nine out of ten I robbed that guy and in those days I was climbing roofs

I was doing the sickest shit I mean it was natural for me Joey I became up I remember I remember Rego used to tell me all the shit you were doing oh my God he was the only guy I was honest with

I mean I was a piece of shit But if you, Joey, in those days, if you fucked with me in North Bergen, and there was a lot of people in those days that thought they were cute. And I was down, and they'd fucking like, you know, I could give you five names of people I thought they were cute with me, and at the end of the day I fucking clipped them. And they knew I did it, and they couldn't do a fucking thing about it. And it was so funny.

And then I realized I could clip people all around. And I was catching people sleeping. Oh, yeah. I caught so many. We did. We did awesome with it for years. I didn't work for years. That's all we did.

You know, because in New York City, Jersey, it's so easy. You go right across the bridge, and then we had this black guy when you ask Lou about Al. He was black, and he was a Patterson cop. So it was actually so great. He used to stand right on the corner, and he could stand with these, you know, those moulignans and all the Dominicans and stuff like that over there, you know, and he wouldn't even know he was there. All of a sudden a couple of days later we get a phone call.

All right, a ton. Meet me over here at 1160th. St. Nicholas, all right, here we go. We're going to work, you know? It was crazy at that time, though. And then one time we almost got the FBI fucking called us,

and Louis got caught with the FBI and all of a sudden this and that, oh, my God, it was a big fucking ordeal. I had to go in front of the FBI, 100 Consentery Street. Jack Campanella, his name was, oh, my God, I never forget that. Fuck, man. From 80 to 90, I must have robbed

200 drug dealers. It was Joey. There's so many that just did little fuck-ups. Like, when I went to Colorado, I took my New Jersey technology mind. I was a New Jersey criminal in North Bergen where people see you coming a mile away. You understand? I grew up in a society. They don't see you in Colorado.

They don't see you in Colorado. In New Jersey, they see their setup. They're like, why has this kid been coming over here, Tulumarch? They know. He used to buy grams. Now he's buying A-Balls. where is he getting the money from? People have ears.

So I went from fucking New Jersey where they saw you coming with Colorado, where they didn't even suspect it. And I was shutting their fucking lights out. I was shoveling snow robbing. You know what I was doing, Joey? I knew drug dealers had coconut house. Let's say I go in and they have four ounces.

I take two-way balls. And I kept them on a string. And then I kept them on a string. And then what I would do is when I get ready to rob them, I wait until they get a big ship. and then I'd fucking take them down. But for a month, I'd take them for an eight ball a day. Like nothing.

They'd be skiing. Who the fuck skis? Yeah. But this is what I tell people. I was talking about Pyruscope this morning with this fucking Comic-Con. You know, we got fucking ISIS cutting people's heads off. And you're in San Diego dressed up like Batman, like a jerk off. You know what I'm saying?

Like a fucking jerk off that you are at these fucking momos. Ah, Star Trek, look at me. Like a fucking... But meanwhile, those are the people I'd pray on, those fucking jerk-offs. Because they're too busy. Listen, drug dealers don't do. You know what drug dealers do? They sell drugs.

They don't watch TV. Drug dealers. They're the best people to rob. They can't go to the cops. They can't go to the cops. They can't go to the cops. When a drug dealer would tell me he was going to Disneyland or going skiing. And I'd ask him, how many times do you ski?

I ski every week on Wednesdays. Wingo. This motherfucker is going down eventually. On Wednesday, yeah. And they tell you. I go skiing on Wednesday if you party out, really? Even as a criminal, you didn't take vacations? Criminals don't.

You never take a case? Listen, if I went on a vacation, I robbed people. Listen, San Francisco, I caused so much havoc in a hotel in San Francisco, because I used to steal it. I used to rob the maids' keys. The maids in those days would leave the keys in the door, and they'd clean. So I'd watch him, and I'd take the fucking key. And it was over after that.

I had two or three days. There was a bookmaker I robbed in San Francisco in the hotel. He couldn't figure out who was robbing. He'd come to me and come to me and come to me and. somebody keeps fucking robbing me. He was one of those dollar guys that sold those tickets. He had three of miles. I take every fucking single plus all this slips from him and fuck his world up.

He'd be sitting there in the lobby going, somebody fucking robbed me again in the building that fucking spick made. And it was me the whole time. I beat the fucking barretia. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I could see a drug dealer a mile away. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's how it was over by us. You know, everybody had their own teams, and we were doing it from. like maybe 88 to 92. Easy every fucking week. Doing it. Danny knows a lot, too. It was me, Danny and Louis. That was the team.

And then we had this guy out. You guys got so good you started robbing each other. You motherfucker started robbing each other. You made Rousseau and Kurt go down to Florida. These guys started robbing each other. One of the greatest quotes I ever heard in my life was July or something of 99. I took Darren to breakfast. In the middle of his food, I looked at him.

You still get into fights. He goes, there's nobody left to fight. I've got to fight. I've got to fight. I've got to fight. I got to fight. That's how I got with these guys. They had nobody left to rob.

So they started robbing each other. So it was these two cliques in North Bergen. First, they started together, Rousseau, and this Danny Biancula. They were the fucking hottest drug team since fucking Abbotting Costello. They were buying trucks. You think I'm kidding you. They were moving. They were like, what they called?

Crocking and Tubbs. Oh, my God. Every time I went back to bring them guns, they had fucking trucks and ski jets, what are those things you ski with? Jet skis. Jet skis. And the fucking guy had all the toys.

All the toys. And the motorcycles, these guys were making big money. Then one time I heard they're broken up. Tommy tried to rob the other guy. Then they went out war for each other. Then they even got, they couldn't get caught.

One went to Miami. Who'd they robbed? They robbed Kurt. Kurt in Miami, right? They robbed Kurt in Miami. Who the fuck? They went all the way down there to get robbed. Two sets of my time.

Look at Danny. Danny, we robbed his cousin, Jamo. It was fucking like 60-something pounds of weed we had to take. And then we, then it was funny, we got it, and then also we had to drive it all the way down to Los Angeles,

because we were someplace in Diamond Bar, California. Also, we had to drive up to Los Angeles. Then we had to ship it back in the mail, and we shipped it to someplace in Patterson. Oh, my God, it was, but Jamo was calling Danny for months, for months, because he knew he set him up. He knew he set him up.

And that was it, but he had to rob. We were so, I don't know. We had a rob his cousin. That's what we had to do. Oh, man, but it was at that time. Thank God I'm on the lamb, though, now. Now I'm hiding out.

No, thank God. Nobody knows where I am. Listen, man, every month, I get a nervous breakdown. I do a podcast with Lee. I got to tell you, Joey. I do a podcast with Lee, and I eat an edible. And for some reason, I go home, and I smoke some pot, and I make some coffee, and my fucking mind starts to race at 1130.

Oh, yeah. I can't lie to you. Joey, sometimes I get tears in my eyes. And I say, I can't believe I survive that situation or going to West New York. I went to West New York one night. Wait, until we tell. Wait, I see Lee. The situation, Lee, that we lived in, man, it's like you guys live and did any well compared to what he lived. It sounds like North Bergen was on an Indian burial ground or something.

I remember one night. Dave Black, Black's sister was fucking a Colombian drug dealer, the hot one. She was just giving them pussy for Coke. And Dave knew it. It's like my sister's just basically giving them pussy for Coke. She's hot and she knows it. She just goes over that, gives him pussy. He throws like an ounce of blow once a week.

And we went over there and robbed him while he was fucking the sister. That's how cold weather we were. With guns and the whole thing. And the sister was on all four is sucking his death. I mean, it was horrible. We're robbing a guy. And she's sucking his death. I mean, you can't write this shit.

Do you least save some for her? No. You cannot write this shit. No way. And he got caught. She was lining out the window, so the drug dealer had them by the hair. Thank God, whoever the fuck was driving, kept the car running. I mean, it was just, this is shit that I sit there sometimes.

That's a way of life over by us, you know, that was it. I mean, you go right into Manhattan. I mean, go to Washington, go to Washington, rob somebody and just get out of there. We do it on a Friday night. All of a sudden, boom, you need some money. You go make a score, come back, and we went to quintessence. The one I did in 93 was with your cousin. God bless his soul.

Didn't you guys rob the gas station with the water guns? We robbed the gas station with the water. guns, we never had to pull them. And then we robbed, we robbed all the stereos from C's, the car stereos, every fucking blob punk they had. Did you put the one in the... For their...

Senior Prom, you robbed the Alpine. You put in the Rousseau's car before that. I've never figured that you came out of the fucking, what was it, I did, I dig two guys down there or Kmart. You had the Alpine in the box with the speakers and everything. You took out of your league. That's how you started today. We need cash. How are we going to make some cash?

Let's get some car stereo, brand new the box and we walk in a store like a team and each of us to get one. So that's three, $200 stereo, we're going to get $300. That's an A-Bow. That's $250 and $10 apiece. How did you get the... And back in 1982, it was a lot of money. That was a dollar.

An A-ball was $250 on $1.305 in Amsterdam. Our goal was to go over the every day for an A-Baw. So you had to come up with $250. $250, quickly. Some days I get a call from somebody going, dog. You got a toolkit for sale, I heard. Can you get me the one that C is? How did you turn the stereos into money?

It's a car stereo, Lee. I come to your house and I go, Lee, not for nothing. I sat in your Volkswagen the other day, and the stereo sounded like shit. I got a blout punk for sale. It's 300 new. Give me 150 cash. And you'd say, fuck, yeah, for 300?

All those speakers, we used to get the speakers. That's how you got your day started. So now that 250 for the A-ball, that was an investment. You took that $250, you threw a gram on that. Now you sold three of those, and you got $300. plus you got a half gram for me and Joey and we ran with from there and then there was some guy who wanted an A ball

so now we take an A ball, take a gram and a half out throw a gram and a half of cutting that motherfucker and give that to him. We just made a gram and a half of pure. Now we got a gram and a half of pure we're going to throw another half on and get 200 out of so you know what? In a day we each ended up with 150 cash and we got to snort an eight ball.

That was your goal. That was our mentality. And Rigo loved that. Rago loved that. Rago loved doing that shit. I loved it. He loved it. I remember one time. me and him robbed this fucking dude that was a cunt,

and he thought he was cute, and we went to his house, and he had checks. And in those days, our boy Dick Wilms was at the fucking bank. And I used to steal the checks and bring them right to the guill. Bam! They could have Jesus Christ on a crutch on those motherfuckers. He cashed him, right? And my boy would fucking cash.

Fuck you, the car lot, the bank. I remember when the dude from Joe Marys used to write checks, the loan shark, and we take him to the fucking bank on 70th Street. While the checks getting cashed, you know. Next door at Gilberto is getting a Cuban sandwich and a potato de ma'amay. Are you fucking getting me or what, dog? Your whole day surrounded around making money for food, but the payoff was drugs and we keep investing the money. So every time you went, every time you went to the city, you went with somebody else's money, Lee.

How much, how much were the drugs worth that you snorted throughout the day? Because, like, 150 to go to jail that many times doesn't seem worth it. What do you mean? We're not going to jail. It wasn't going to jail. It was just the excitement of drop, robbing the 150 in the 8 ball. But you got a big of score. I remember talking to your cousin one night. I had gone to buy drugs downtown in Northburg.

Some guy set up, he was a cowboy right next to my cat, you know that block we were just talking about when Mike Debbie lived in the rails. Some white kids. I remember Kathy Moran. Some white kids started selling Coke. And I remember that I went down there on a Tuesday with somebody and bought the Coke. And on the way out, I said, that's interesting, that window. I could climb in that fucking window.

And as I was talking to the guy, he was telling me that he had a day job. He gets home at five. This is the best Coke. He was getting it from Cubans. This is 1981, Joey. Yeah, yeah. What a mistake that was telling him had a day job. And I was in the bar with your cousin on Thursday night.

Just talking to Darren. He had the icebox. And just out of curiosity. Yeah, he had the ice box. You remember that ice box? I said, Darren, do me a favor. Pick me up at nine. We're going to rob this.

I was lying to him. Guys, I swear to my mother. I was lying to him. I had nowhere to rob. I was just getting him to pick me up because we were going to rob somebody. And I'll never forget I was sleeping on Ronnie's floor. In those days, I used to sleep on Ronnie's floor. They were my adopted family, and he knocked on the glass.

Go, go, get up. Let's go make some money. And I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, washed my face, to a quick shower, ran outside. And this guy's stated. That's how we lived, Lee. It was a Friday morning. Listen, all week was bullshit. Monday through Thursday was bullshit.

I could always borrow a 20 from Lee and a 20 from Joey. I could always put it together. But Friday, it was D-Day. Everybody wants their money, plus you got to have your money. You want to get your dick suck. You want to do blow. You want to eat quailudes. You got to pay the fucking pipe.

Everybody was doing this shit. So what did I do? I tell you, cousin, let's go down to this guy. We went down by giving that terrace where I grew up, I parked, and I basically walked. Like, I, it's like, I'm not, I forgot, like, I get goosebumps. And I walk, my God, just thinking about that shit, right? I rang his doorbell.

I rang his doorbell. Like, I may believe, like, I didn't know that he was working. Nobody answered. I went around. I opened that window, like I told you guys, it was wide open. It was the window into it. Because in those days, you had a door that went to your doorway, that your door was open. I climbed to the window, and he left his door open.

A fucking drug dealer. And I ran. I opened up, da, blah, blah, there was nothing, nothing. I went in the room where he got, we walked out, and sure enough, there's a bag of blow in there that had been cut, and one that had been uncut, I took it, and on the way out I saw, you know those German flasks? Yeah, for beer?

For beer? The big flasks. Yeah, oh, yeah, the big giant flask, those steins. You know, at those days, I was a thief, guys. I was a thief, so a thief knows where people hide shit. And for some reason, all he had was blow at the house. I went in his drawers. All he had was blow.

And as I'm walking out, something made me catch that German thing with the thing that you pop and it goes back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's a Stein. It's called a Stein, I think. I went over to it. I took that thing out,

and there was $800 bills. Right now everybody's at home going, Joe, $800. You're a fucking petty thief. Yes, I was. But $800 in 1982 was $2,400. That was huge. I remember giving your fucking cousin $400.

He was crying. Like in those days, she doesn't have no money. He was a lot. 400 to Midtown back then. They're huge. Darren's mother had gotten divorced. Darren didn't have a dad. You know, Darren lived with John and his mother.

They didn't have any money. Yep, yep. For Darren to have $10, it was a lot. I gave him $400 and I gave him half of that bag of blow. We fucking went out. But that was how it was. It was all a hunch, Lee. Like by 12 o'clock, our day was done.

We had blow. We had everything set for the weekend. And it got from that that now we wanted more. Everybody wanted the kilo guy. Everybody wanted to break into somebody's house. And five four kilos. Everybody wanted the big score. Fucking jewelry.

You know, I got a couple of them with Louis, but Louis got a couple of big ones without me. He got a couple of 10 kilo ones one time. Louis, let him tell a story about the... Ask him about the story about him and Al will follow in a guy, and all of a sudden the guy made a wrong turn and went up onto the bridge. All of a sudden they were behind him. The guy got nervous. He jumped out of the car, left it running on the bridge.

Louis jumped in the car and went bang. went into New Jersey, he went back in the trunk there was 10 kilos in the trunk, 10 kilos. Ask him about it. Well, the same story, Apple, me and your cousin, when the guy pulled over on the west side of that way. He jumped out and fucking, he was so nervous because they were in, this guy, Al, used to have like a, a pal, like a square in power, look like a cop car with a light on it. And all of a sudden, he were following him.

The guy made a wrong turn. Went up on the bridge, put it in Park and jumped over the fucking railing and jumped. It went out to the, like, the Henry Hutton Parkway, and took off. and Louis got into the car, jumped in, went right into Palisade Park, got ten keys. I was sick. I wasn't there that day. I was sick.

The one time I got the big score in 93. That's where the guy pulled over. He didn't pull over on the bridge. He pulled over on Henry Hudson Pyeway going downtown. Sure, sure, yeah. He was going downtown. Yep. We stopped them.

No, he stopped himself like by 135, and we noticed that, and we went and made a U-turned, and he was out of the fucking car already. He was out of the car. Those days, they were trained just to run. You know, I didn't go with him that, I don't know why I didn't go with him that day. I had something to do all of a sudden.

They told me about it. I was fucking, I was sick missing a score like that back then. That was a lot of money. You remember Tommy had that one Spanish kid in New York in New York that he got rid of all the stuff. What's his name, Alex? I think his name was, his name was Alex. And I was like, oh, my God, they were selling them for like maybe $15,000, the key back then real quick. Real quick.

It was amazing how everybody was going to get wrong. robbed at one point. Like everybody I did business with, I knew I was going to rob them. Hello? At one point in a game. Yeah, I can hear. Did you ever get robbed Joey? That's a drug dealer? Yes. Me? I did. I did. I got robbed one time. What happened? Did you got robbed?

No, but they clipped me for seven grams. Nothing nothing significant. Nothing like that. And I wrote it off to, you know me, dog. You know, a thief knows that things are going to go down. If you keep doing it, they're going to go against you. You know. Listen, man, I robbed a lot of blow.

I should be shot and hung for all the blow I robbed and snorted. If I would have been smart, I would have fucking sold it. I didn't sell a lick of it. That's what we did. We were trying to sell it and do it at the time back then. You know what I mean? So we had like four or five guys that were on a team, and we got some small ones, big ones, once in a while,

but nothing that was life-changing. We always thought, you know, 100 keys, 100 pounds of weed or something. Never got that. But it was fun at the time while it lasted He's gonna call in I didn't go to jail No, every fucking time I talk to you man I get sentimental

I think about your cousin I think about And even Loubs Loobs we used to get college kids Oh my God We'd sell them Coke And then rob the Coke back Oh my God

That's a complete different fucking episode I love you Joey He's gonna call in Louie Lee I'm gonna call back But I'm gonna see you in Vegas baby All right I'm definitely gonna call back Coke Thank you so much

I love you guys 500 edibles of 500 milligrams of piece that night. Me, you, Lee, and your wife. And we're going to go kill a fucking strawberry shortcake at the sports book. I love it. I love it. Science. Love you guys.

Love you, brother. All right, buddy. Thank you. Bye-bye. It makes me shit my pants just thinking about the shit I used to do. I don't fuck around when I tell people that sometimes I feel so weird sitting in a room with Lee. Because I don't know if Lee really knew. Like, if you could look at a film of my life from 8.

80 to 85. If anybody would even listen to me, it was such a fucking horrible education. I'm happy I did it. It made me the man I am today. Lee, this is some scary shit. And then I went to prison, and then I still dabbled till 94 and robin,

and I would only take calculated risks. I always knew, you know, getting locked up makes you a better criminal because you learn different things. And I did, but I knew that if I would have kept on, bro, and Boulder, they were going to nail me again. It was just a matter of time. So I'm very fortunate.

Do you forget the urge now? To never. To go rob somebody? Never, leave. Never leave. Because it seemed like you were getting like we're super like, like you missed it. Not missed it, but like you got the eternal and the top. Sometimes when you talk to give people a good story, you've got to go there.

Yeah. And when I go there, my heart beats and I get chills and I feel shitty about myself. But I like talking about it because it doesn't make me feel shitty about myself. Once I talk about it, once I talk about it. That's when I feel really bad about myself, the things I did like that. But listen, man, like I said, it wasn't like I was going up to guys like you. These people dabbled in drugs. I dabbled in drugs.

Everybody knows the fucking cost when you're dabbling your fucking drugs, man. Everybody knows. And if you don't know, how is your fucking schooling? You know, how was your fucking schooling? So what happened when they got you? No, it wasn't like that. I got robbed out of a hotel room one time like that. Nothing, no, no, no, no.

Oh, okay. No. Nothing that exciting? No, you just learn. You learn the steps, Lee. You know, you learn what to look for, what not to look for. I know who's coming with bad intentions. I know who doesn't have cash, you know.

You just learn. You just learn these little fucking things, Lee. That's a fucked up. But, you know, I did my time. I paid my dues. I think after I got out of prison, I think I did maybe three or four drug rips after that I never fucked around with it again man

And I'm very happy I didn't you know I was telling these guys I think it's time to carry a weapon Things are getting bad You know there's a lot of You know last week in San Francisco Was the shooting Did they still have flowers out on the pier

Or anything? Did you go down there? Yeah I didn't see any But do you mean like you want to carry up Like a pistol at all times Do you think that's what I want to do I do not want to carry a pistol but if, you know, random acts, the chick got shot in Hollywood, the chick got shot in San Francisco last week.

You know, this could be one of us, this could be a podcast listener, this could be anybody, man. I get scared, Lee, without the fucking edibles. I get fucking petrified. It does seem to be happening a lot. Yeah, and for us to be walking around with none, leaving a piece, you're at a park with your daughter, somebody does something. I don't want to shoot nobody, Lee,

but protecting yourself and shooting somebody is two different, world's man knowing you have the ability to protect yourself knowing you know i'm not confident in my fucking i'm no fighter i can't fly through the air i'm not fucking johnny hick what's his name john wick you know i'm not going to throw people through the fucking air but you know you sometimes i get scared man it's just a natural reaction yeah but i have a wife and a daughter now just to play like devil's advocate wouldn't you also be then scared like if a lot of people had guns around your wife and daughter? Like, that's the only thing that scares me

is if everyone's going to start having fucking guns. Lee? I don't want to take anyone's guns away. You tell me the truth. As a man, you're an educated guy with what you're reading the papers and what you hear. You don't want some type of protection in your car or in your apartment.

You're there with Paul or somebody breaks in, they want to do something. You're telling me I got the money, you put two fucking holes in them. I mean, what if, what if, Lee? Some of the things could happen. I don't, I have. advocate guns. I've told you for 20 years that they're the worst luck for me.

That's what I was going to say. Like, we were talking about it earlier. I don't know if, I've always heard that guns detract guns. And yeah, it does get fucking scary. And more so, I think probably when you have kids, because I was thinking, like, how can you send your kid to a public school now and not be a little bit worried? But I try to keep low-key, and I guess I don't, I don't really think I want to gun. man, God has a plan. At least that's what they fucking tell. Buddha, the Jew God, Hindu. They all have a plan, and we all have an expiration day.

Yeah. You know, we all have an... And the horrible things happen in this life. You know, and that's why I get bad thoughts just like everybody else, man. And you pray and you fall asleep or whatever the fuck it is. I do get more protective, like if I'm with Paula. Sure you do. Like that...

You love her. Yeah, so like... You love her. I can see... Before mercy, would you have thought about wanting a gun with just you and I mentioned it to Terry a few times. We live in an area that we're just three blocks away from life, brother. We're a couple blocks away from life.

And sometimes bad life goes into good life. And there's nothing you could fucking do. There's nothing you could do. But you know what, man, if you got robbed and you didn't have protection, and you got robbed and you did have protection, how would you feel? How would you feel? I mean, Lee, I don't want you just, I'm not going to give you a gun and you take it home and put it under your pillow. I mean, that once a week you go with Diagostino and go to the range and shoot.

and get comfortable with the gun and you get pretty good at it and you clean it every three days so it doesn't jam up on you and you're not a bad guy you've never had a bad intention in your heart but what if Lee what if we're at the comedy store one night

you ever think of that we're at the comedy store and a shootout ensues and I'm there with you and I got to cover you and I got no fucking gun what would you do what would you feel like that you didn't have you know just a little situation I'm not saying I'm going to go buy a gun tomorrow morning when he's say that What I'm saying is that, I don't know, I get these thoughts from time to time,

just like every fucking American does. Just like every fucking American does. Every person. You know, at one time something happens and it hits close to home. If you wake up tomorrow morning at 8 in the morning and somebody got robbed on Laurel Canyon and Ventura, how would you feel that they were going to eat at 9.15 at night? That could be you and Paul. Yeah, they totally could.

Okay. No. And Red Band got robbed. I know. In Burbank, California, the home of Disney. Where Disney pays for undercover cops and helicopters and fucking cameras on every block. A black wizard came. A black wizard came.

And robbed him. Now, I'm not saying you pull the gun on, you play Charles Bronson and Death Wish. Yeah. But I'm saying that, at least that fear, you know what it feels like to get robbed? Do you have any idea? When something goes down two blocks from you and you're seeing a gunfight, what your heart happens to your heart? No.

And how fear takes over. It's a horrible fucking feeling. But I know if I got a fucking gun in my strap. And that motherfucker comes 10 feet close to me on my daughter. I know I'm going to fucking unload that thing. And I'm going to catch with one bullet. I'm going to tell my daughter and wife to fucking run in Spanish. So the guy don't hear me.

You follow me? I mean, listen, I'm just talking nonsense with you. I lived in Israel for six months. And their solution to it is there's a lot more, like, the military everywhere. And I know people are getting upset like this too much police everywhere and stuff like that. So I don't think they would go over here. But would that be like another solution? Where were the cops when that girl got shot in Hollywood?

What girl? Where were the girl? They just got shot last week. Oh, yeah. A comedian's girlfriend. Where were the cops when that guy shot that girl? They're getting a bunch of steam right now in San Francisco. Right.

We got to go ahead. Lou. What shot? Oh, my God. We just got off the phone with Joey Falado. Jesus fucking Christ. How you doing, Lou? I'm doing our life, buddy. What about you?

Good. Do we ever cross pass? Excuse me? Did we ever cross pass? Do I remember you from... No, I don't think so, Joe. I left New Jersey in July of 85. This last week was my 30th anniversary. And by that time, you guys... 85 hours in the camp.

Okay. Yeah, so I didn't... You were more friends with Darren and Joey and fucking... I was more friends with Joey, with Joey. Joey and I, and I brought Danny, because Danny owed a bookmaker money, and the guy sent me over there to talk to him. I said, if you guys, you guys are nice guys.

You want me to, look, why don't you come with me on a few things, and you'll be able to make the money, get this guy's money, and get back on your feet? And they said, all right, let's go. And the rest is fucking history. Yeah, it's, you know, we were so crazy at that age, with the blow and the fucking this and the that, that.

Oh my God. It was fucking insane. It was like we had a license to do it. I mean, it was crazy. We didn't care. We used to call it Spender Tuesday. For some reason,

I had a, my father introduced me to this DEA agent. And this guy was actually giving us the scores. He was bringing us scores and we were doing them in there. And it always happened

on a Tuesday for some reason. He would call me Monday night and say, get your boys, meet me over here. And we'd go. You give us search wants, he hook us up with bulletproof vets that said DEA on the front, hats. We told us to wear jeans and a T-shirt and white sneakers.

We looked like the DEA. I used to walk in there and I spoke a little Spanish, so I was able to, you know, get over. The people were flipping out. They couldn't believe it. I said, al-a-ho, you don't get it about my video. You'll get me, huh? They were flipping out. Where did you grow up at?

Patterson and Wayne Jesus Christ Patterson and Wayne I went out with a girl for North Bergen that's how I met Joey Oh my God You know you think back of

I was telling the podcast And Lee How there's nights You know I smoke pot And I sit there And I think about The times you could have got shot And how lucky

You know how lucky you really fucking are That a bulletin go all I got shot I got shot Oh my God I was over there with the DE agent and he said to me, come on, we're going to get this guy. I go, this guy knows us. I was seven times we got him.

He knows me. As soon as he keeps me, he knows when I got off. I'm going to get shot with this guy. He goes, no, listen to me. I found the stash. I know where the guy is. Everything's good. We got this.

So I'm in the truck sleeping in the band. It's 5.30 at the morning. He picked me up at a halfway house. I was still in the halfway house. I'm sitting there in the van. and I'm sleeping and he goes he's gone and around the corner comes the guy we used to phone gold finger because he had rings on every finger as your making kid with rings on every finger and he had a Mr. T starter kid around his neck so here comes gold finger on the

corner he looks in the man he sees me and he goes oh my god he turns around walks back around the corner now I had one eye open so I look at him and I'm saying to myself Did he recognize me? No. Too far away. He didn't see me. Harry comes back around the corner with two guys on each side of them. They all got their hands and their shirts, and they start firing.

They pull out guns and start firing at the band. I put the fan in drive, pushed the thing in drive, ended at them, jumped out, and I was one behind the band. I went to get to a tree, and my knee gave out. I got shot. I didn't even realize. I was behind the tree. I looked down at my knee. He said, oh my God, I've been hit.

My knee was blood, but the knee down was all blood. So I said, what the hell am I going to do now? So I hear him, click, click, click. He ran out of memo. So I come out from behind the street with a gun. I go, get out of the ground. Oh, he's a DEA. He goes, you ain't no fucking cop.

And he got up and ran away. He goes, you better get out of here. And I said, oh, my God. That one I got to lift out of here. I started lifting away, lifting away. I hop over a fence. and behind this building I see Harlem River Drive. So I started hopping my way down to Harlem River Drive.

I fall down a few times because this hurts. And I keep rubbing my leg, and I keep rubbing my hair, get my hair out of my eyes, because I'm loving my leg. I'm rubbing the hair. I got blood all over my face. I don't realize it because I'm alone. And the guy, the DEA agent, my father told me was a killer. It's got the killer copper.

He'll be there for you for everything. He jumped in a van and drove away. He left me there. So I'm coming down the hill. I get to the Harlem River Drive. I hop over the fence and I hear the cops come. I hear the Simon's coming. I go, uh-oh.

I got to get rid of this gun and badge. I throw it in the East River. I'm sitting down on a guardrail. And two minutes later, there was like six cops there. And they get up, get over here. I go, maybe you're not looking real good. I've been shot. I got shot in the leg.

I can't get over there. They kick me up, throw me in a squad car. and they take me to Harlem Hospital two blocks away. And I'm in the Harlem Hospital and they're like, oh my God, you guys shot. They must have thought you were a cop. I go, I don't know what happened. I was over here to rehab a building.

I'm working for one of my father's friends who's buying buildings. We rehab them. And when we're done, he sells them, whatever, rents him. I go, I was sitting in the van. The guy started firing at the band. He goes, oh, they thought you were a cop. make the long story short. The cops

they brought me to a room they stuck antibiotics in my leg and then they patched me up they gave me a sedative and sent me to my room. They sent me to a room and I climbed off the bed.

The cops were there. I made hope I was falling asleep. They were trying to question me. I fell asleep. I made believe I was falling asleep. They left. I crawled out of the out of the bed,

got in a wheelchair, rolled down the hallway. There was like 15 old ladies in line for the phone. I said, ladies, sleep. I'm a police officer. I just got shot. I got to call my house. Let my wife know.

Oh, no problem. They let me run on the phone. I got on the phone. I called Joey. I said, Joey, I'm in room 616. Get the band. Get Danny. Come get me.

I went back to the room, jumped into bed. He'll close my eyes. When I opened my eyes, there's Joey's dead. And I was all. Okay, let's get out of here. That was it.

Lou, that was like the hotbed. I had spent my summers. I'm a Cuban. I used to spend my summers on 148th and Broadway. My stepfather shot a dude with Santa Ria guys and shit. But I became friends with the Sedeno family. And they had nine Puerto Rican kids, and they had nine kids. And the one that was my age, you know, I had kept in touch with them

through the years from the time we were 6 to 18, but I saw him once. I went over there, the cop. And, you know, that was the, for people who don't know, in the 80s and the 90s from, I think it started like on, I don't even know, Lou, 1008th Street, and all the way up on every fucking street. Somebody sold drugs.

Right or wrong, 127, 135, 143. Wow, 132, 130. It's ridiculous. How many spots there were. I used to love to mom and pop bodegas there I used to go there every week and eat the food

I love the Cuban Dominican Puerto Rican food I mean that's me I go to I still go to Union City I go to Los Phamas in Union City

That's a good fucking place My wife and I go there All the time I'm in Miami a lot You know For the bikes Because you know

I promote now But Are you friends with Vinnie Curto I know Finney Curto very well Finney's out here with me He's a He's fucking nuts.

I talk to him once a month. You know to tell me, I know. Oh, I love him like a brother. In fact, I'm going to try to get him back on the podcast, but it's so much drama. He got to get a ride here. He forgets the address. He forgets my name.

Ask him. Ask him what he did. Hey, listen, Sopold, don't say I said it, but ask him what he did when they matched him up with Marvin Hagler. He took off of Florida. They sold out the Boston Garden. All the white guys up there. They sold out the Boston Garden

They had They sold out the guard And they said, oh my God, we're going to make a ton of money Curto took off He said, I'm not fighting this guy He took off And they had to give everybody back their money Curto was in Miami with Angelo Dundee

And Chris Dundee And he was fighting down here With the same manager I had My manager's name was Murray Gaby And Curto had the same manager How crazy is the boxing business? Well, you know, boxing itself, I mean, not everybody's a Mayweather,

not everybody's going to make that kind of money. But it's a good stepping stone. If you're a good athlete and you know how to use your hands and you have good way and you're good to your body, you can make a money, you can make money to make a life for yourself. But if you go in it for a career, and you're going to stay there forever, and you're going to box until you're 50 or 40 or 50.

You know, you're going to start talking the guy, Oh, how are you? So Bell's going to ring you to duck because the guy's going to start swinging action. But it's a great sport. I mean, look at MMA. Look at MFA. I mean, Joe Broker's a great guy.

But MMA in the UFC, those guys don't make a quarter. A quarter of what boxers make. they don't make a quarter of it. And who wants to get in there and get kicked, get punched in the head, get elbowed in the face in the back of the head, feed in the chest in the stomach. I mean, all that stuff for the little more than money they get. I mean, I just don't understand it.

I mean, if you can use your hands, stand up and box, you're making three, four, five times the money. Why would you get that money? Don't get me wrong. I like M.M.A. I watch it. It's a lot of fun. I mean, you know, and they call boxing barbaric. I'm like, you're kidding me, right?

We wear 10-ounce gloves. They wear 10-12-ounce gloves heavyweights, and they wear, or 10-ounce heavyweights, I'm thinking about the averages. But 10-ounce gloves in the pros, and they wear four-ounce gloves. Let me hit somebody with a four-ounce club, Coco, and I'm 62 years old, I'll kill them.

They will never be, they will never get up. If I hit somebody with a left hook with a four-ounce glove on. It's over. I just got done sparring just now with my client. You know, Nacopholi is out here, too, right? You know a guy named Nacopholi? Yeah, Foley, yes. A boxing guy from Boston, good guy.

He's about your age, Vietnam. Yes. He's out here. He's at Justin Fortunes, Jim. He's at Justin Fortunes, a guy that trains Pachia. He was the old strength and conditioning, and now he came back after a Revis or silver, whatever the guy's name was, quit

or got into the beef with Pachiao's trainer. Oh. Did you see the fight in Mexico that just happened? In the Philippines with like the Mexican politician who had like a really What happened with that?

This dude who apparently had like chest implants too paid this like chubby intern dude to like throw a fight. He got like barely tapped and the guy went down. It was pretty hysterical. They said they just, and even the

announcers aren't, we're saying like, oh, this guy was just done for a favor for somebody he does business with. It was crazy. What about the Thurman fight? Did you see the Thurman fight? No. Me neither. I don't watch a lot of boxing anymore. He got hit with a body shot and he almost crumbled, but she

is glimished on his face. He was really hurting bad. He went down. He went down to one knee. He got up. He got up. The referee didn't even count, because he got right back up and they started fighting again and knocked his opponent down 30 seconds later. I said you do when you're in pain. Yep. It's time to go.

Let's give it this guy now. I got to go. It's funny. I've been hearing about you for a long time. And, you know, Danny's, you know, I grew up with those guys. And it was, I think, back of those days when we were, like, just talking to Joey before, you know, you get these fucking goosebumps. I got anxiety that those people didn't come looking at.

That those people didn't even come looking for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not, he's not sleeping. Listen, we did so many jobs. One night we went to a place called Puego, Fuego, and right off of Broadway, Broadway over there in the city. It was at Dominican in the nightclub, Suego Fuego. But right the same morning, that morning we robbed these Dominicans.

We got them for like 10 keys and about $80,000 in cash. So we got rid of stuff, and we, you know, over it. They got their money. We're all going out and bought suits. We go out and buy suits and the shoes. It was a Tuesday. It was all buying all clothes. We meet.

We go out with the Fuego Fuego. We're in Fuego in the Bronx, there, or not the Bronx, upper Manhattan before the bridge. And we're dancing. I'm dancing with this Dominican girl, and all of a sudden, Joey, go to your right. I look to the right. If he goes, those are the guys we got this morning.

They're all sitting at a table. I go, oh, my God. There they are. I go, waitress. over and send the bottle of Dompretingham to those guys and tell them it's from me. Point to me. So she said, okay, she takes a bottle of the unpringham who's over there, puts it on table, and points it at me, they go, oh, my God, that cop, they ran out of the place.

So he goes, you are crazy. I go, look, they'll never let them not think we're cops when we leave. You make them think we're cops, we're giving them a break. We're, you know, we're not going to arrest them. taking their stuff when I arrest them, and they'll feed that. We're cool. I played a cop two times.

I could never play a cop. I was telling Joey, I handcuffed twice or three times. I handcuffed people. It's horrible. The first time I had a handcuff a guy, I almost shit my pants. I know I farted.

I know I fought it for sure as I was bending over putting the handcuffs on. That's a horrible thing to do. They're shaking. You got your knee on their leg. They're shaking. Oh, it's fucking terrible. when I got caught for the kidnap

and they're laying down on the ground we used to walk in I used to handcuff everybody because I you know I mean I saw Scarface and looking to get killed but everybody down and you know and I love Joey and I love Danny and but they were the little hyper at the time and I told them look guys

I don't want I had to give them a gun but I was scared of death to get it to him you know Joey's best but he's a great kid but he'll shoot somebody in a second Joe you got to relax Joe Joe you got to you act.

Well, that was the biggest fear. You don't need a murder beat. That was the biggest fear I had. Whenever I had a weapon in my hand, Jesus fucking Christ. You know, and I went away for kidnapping, and even that day, I remember having a weapon in my hand and just dying inside because I knew that something, this gun goes off. We were just talking about me buying a gun now, you know, because the fucking, Lou, the world's going to shit.

Oh, no, you got to have a gun. You got to have a gun. to keep your family safe. You've got to have something. Oh, my God. And the best weapon is a shotgun, Coco. Buy a 12-gauge. Keep it in the house.

I just want to make it clear. I'm not pro or anti-gun control. I don't care what people have. I'm just saying, you were asking me if I wanted a gun. That's all. I don't care what other people are. No, no, no. We were discussing having a gun now.

I always, at one age, Lou, I think after I got out of the kidnapping, I got rid of all the guns. I didn't want any more. I knew that they had brought me. Just having the gun on me would make my body language different. And people that carry can tell when somebody else is carrying. It's a weird and a jewell.

I'm not allowed to own a gun, so I'm not worried about it. Me neither. I'm not allowed to own a gun either. I could just have a bazooker with fucking night goggles and shit. Would you have to like petition them? Yeah, I'd have to go back to court.

But it was over, my felony was over 10 years ago. So I'm okay. I can get them a sponge. Oh, then you can get them. You can get, you can get, what they call expunged. Sure, you get them expung and I got a weapon. But who wants a weapon on paper? You want to have 92 of them that are fucking dirty,

so you can blast them and fucking, I don't know who shot them. Somebody up the corner must have the shot. I don't know, hit him. What was that? Lou, I got to let you go, but I want you to call them again when we have more time, brother. I definitely will, I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. We're watching for you Friday night on Showtime. Tell them what time. I'll be there. I'll be there around, I think it's around the fight story. at 7. TV's probably going around 9.30. Okay, we'll be watching for you and cheering for you, my brother. Thank you, pal. Have a good day.

You do. See, if you people just tuned in, this was the criminal version of the church of what's happening now. We talk about robbing people and fucking handcuffing people and having a good time and getting weapons and shit. We don't usually talk about this today. It was just today. I got a couple emails two weeks ago and last week about it, and it just seemed fucking scary to me that people want to hear about this nonsense. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Let me get some shoutouts. Oh, shit, it's one then. Thank you, Lee. To pick up the pieces. I've gone to you in a couple times. Fun. Well, yeah, because you're a pin. Some, somebody twice as smart as I.

What the fuck, Lee? What's up, buddy? What the fuck? Let's, uh, look. John Wolf G. You know, I love you. Brandy Lynn, looking better and better. I'm going to see you in a few weeks. Davin Christensen. Ali fucking Ali Baz down in Australia, I haven't heard from him. You got me worried. My man Dante Gazzini always writing me.

This guy writes more letters than the Declaration of Independence. DJ Dorchester, Johnny Arch, and Jason Monterey. I love you, Cocksuckers. What's up with you, Lee? So you should have gone to original Joe's. You fucked up. I apologize. Every time you go into San Jose, San Francisco,

you got to go catch one meal of the original Joe. I got a really, really great burrito. Oh, that's fucking fantastic. I forget the name of the place. But it was a scary neighborhood. But it was delicious. What type of burrito was? The carneasada.

You loved that carnia salad, huh? And she got like a, a cassidia suezer or something like they put like the meat and stuff inside the cassidia. She's fucking Christ it went 2,000 miles to eat Mexican free You should be shot in fucking hungry

You didn't go to original Joe's You had bubble gum like Ari like that Do's and Butts Who's in my thoughts today He got his eyes fixed today So I gotta call him a little awry If you are ever up there Mercy would love that place

What is it candy? I think I want to give a fucking candy And get a start No they have they have berries And all that shit What kind of berries? Everything. Like real fruit batteries or fucking confectionary?

Real, no, amazing, delicious, fresh. Fruit. Yeah, and they got peacocks walking around, and they got train rides. So, it's a whole... Oh, I thought you went there to get candy, you said. I did, that's what I got. What you get?

What you get? That's so good, but they're so bad for you. So you went to San Francisco to get yogurt? No, I got that on the way there. You see what I deal with people? I also got almonds. He didn't go to original Jones. He got almonds.

He went on an Italian tour. Listen, who goes on a fucking Italian tour? after all we talk about, the last thing I want you to make believe is to walk around like a dunce, like a tour of holding hands. Like, do you take pictures too? Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. What am I going to do with you? We walked all the way up Lombard.

That was hard. Did you walk all the way? That's why you lost it. Even the stairs. Did you really? Yeah. No anxiety attacks? No.

That's fine. Good for you. Paula didn't like going down the hill, though. That was funny. She got kind of nervous. So what's you going to do? Stay up there and fucking Yololee. No, we walked you to walk down.

Fucking walk down. This is what I need to talk about, right? What am I going to do with you? A fucking Italian tour as a gift. Paula. Why would she do? What did she do? What did you do?

Do they give you any food? Yeah. What kind of food? We went and we got chocolate truffles. All right. From this really cool place, like X-O-X, something. And you're going to different restaurants? Yeah.

Because I saw houses. What the fuck was that picture of? Oh, that's the full house houses. I watch it as a kid. It was cool to see it. Are you fucking putting me on right now? That was a full house house that you put the picture of right there. Yeah, it's cool.

You say I got to deal with people. And then you people get mad. You say you pick on Lee. I'm trying to help this motherfucker out. I didn't do anything. I saw it. I was like a cool picture. Dang.

You wanted a fucking Italian tour. It took a picture of a fucking house. Oh, and then we did the bikes. Those were fun, but scary. What bikes? Did you have your helmet on? No, they didn't give you helmets. And they were putting you on roads with, like, cars on them.

It was in Golden Gate Bridge Park I'm so next time you go away I'm gonna fucking have somebody mug you just the principal Just if you see them on the bike Just knock him and hurr off the fucking bike It's over Let them fucking sue him

And collect the settlement We'll take care of them We'll patch them up An Italian tour What else did they feed you? Yeah What kind of food did you? Pizza from this place

All right It's really apparently really good It's across the street from Original Joe's All right Um, we got, and then we got pasta from this other place. All right. And, uh, and then we got canoles.

They were good. Look at you. You had a good time. That's all that, man. How many years you've been with it now? Two. Look at you. When I first met you, you had fucking Staminke, you're living with you, you wouldn't eat her ass when she was sleeping.

Now you've been with this beautiful Mexican girl for two years. You're going to get married. When are you going to propose this Christmas, like a half a fact? No. When? I, um, I kind of, um, I kind of want to, want to live with someone before I propose. So you're going to live with her in sin?

I think, yeah. I think it's important to see if we match living together. Well, what do you think when she comes over is she shit in the bathroom? Yeah. And what's it smell like? Fine. Can you live with it? Yeah.

But it's different, man. It's not different. That's it. When they come over, they shit, you see how they live? Do they do the dishes? Do they leave them there? Do they leave shit out? You got to clean up after?

It's all those things that matter. Do you have to fucking tell her Andalay here? You know, this is your fucking nature to clean. Get it together here. I got to bring a lady in for $40 a week to clean for your fucking ass. Get up, clean this fucking house. The vacuum, everything's waiting for you. That would not go well with her.

Well, that's the problem then. That's the end. Well, how are you going to live with it? That's not going to go well with it. Because does she want to do the person coming in? No. There's no person coming in when a woman lives in the house. Oh, shit.

That's just a natural thing. What woman's going to, after you take a shit and you leave that shit thing, what woman's going to leave that in? That's your home. No woman that lives in a home. Listen, a man could be a filthy pig. A woman ain't got time to be a dirty fucking animal. What woman cannot see that?

What woman, if you did something that was there for two days, you're going to wait for some lady to come in? That's what you're trying to tell me. What's, like what? Well, a lady comes in what? Once a week. No, my. She's come once in, like, every month and a half.

Right. So what does this girl do for the other? a month and a half. Just let the laundry pile up and everything piled up. Oh, no, we do laundry. You got to clean. You got an underlay. Mop and get the fucking vacuum and you got to do the room and the fucking shower curtains. And, you know, there's much that you could do. But if you don't tell them to do it, they're never going to do it.

Then what are you going to do? You're going to live around a clean lady. Men could be fucking filthy pigs. Women cannot be fucking pigs. A woman has to pick up that piece of paper if she sees it, even if she didn't fucking do it. You know what I'm saying? Or she could tell you to do it. Yeah.

But that's the number one thing that they fucking clean a little. Everybody's got to chip in. But if you're going to eat burritos and leave the dish on the table, and I got to pick it up for you, I don't want you around. Right or wrong? Yeah. I don't want nobody around that don't handle their shit. If you're a woman and I go out to fucking,

I was talking to somebody a day that was going to a divorce. And he said that what bothered him the most is when he got home there wasn't dinner made. Because how can you live like that? Your man's out. Your man's doing shit. I don't give a fuck, you know? Well, I've started to think about that, man. just like it's like how

how can I like expect like if Paula wanted it to that'd be great but like I don't know how to ask someone like to expect like yeah if we're living together you're going to cook I don't know it's kind of weird that's what women do what it can't go to eat out every fucking night you got listen let me tell you a little story

I'm going to tell you a very important story that irks me every day because I miss this kid more than you'd ever know when I first got it used to be friends with this fucking Stamin'a kick Gavin. But Gavin had a half a more more friend named Keith. And I like Keith. Keith came down here to be a comic.

He used to hum when he think he'd humm. So he used to call him the Hummer. And he was insecure and he had his insecurities. So I'm insecure, so I know what it feels like to be insecure. And I took a liking to him. I loved him. He was a freak. But he was the

nicest guy in the world. And people always took advantage of this fucking guy. In fact, he let girls stay at his house that he was in love with, like they were in a bind, and then the girls would move in guys in front of him. It was horrible. The guy was a stepping stone, and I never raised my hand. I never said anything to him. I used to talk to Gavin about him, and go, you got to talk to him,

because I didn't grow up with him. You did. You did. You have to talk to him, you know. And we go out to lunch, man, three times a week. This kid worked part-time, and part-time. Probably made $120 grand a year as a TV installer. Fucking smart as a whip, man.

Smart as a fucking whip. And he had some dirty whores living with him, man, that he would fuck in the ass and take pictures and shit, but they would move a boyfriend in for like a month until they got their life together. It was fucking horrible. And we talked to him, we'd get him high, and he'd come to the comedy store and hang out with me.

I really liked him. I tried to be extra nice to him. Like, if I borrowed money from him, I'd pay him back when I told him. He used to lend me money for Coke. I tell him the truth, this is for Coke, and he'd tell him he didn't want to do it, but he'd still give it to me.

And I made sure I always paid him on time, because everybody else wouldn't pay him at all. I went out of my way to not do what everybody else did to this guy. And I know that everybody beat on him as a floor mat, so I never really said nothing to him about his personal life. Even though I bothered the fuck out of me, you know me. When he comes to me to get sent on a blind date, He gets sent on a blind date with a doctor.

He's making $120,000, $130,000 a year. He lives good. He's got every movie on DVD. It's got big screen. You go to his house dog. Jesus Christ, it's like better than a movie theater. Or I would go over and see heat, the shooting scene. Okay.

We'd smoke dope on his balcony and just watch the heat, the shooting scene. Between me and you, I love this guy. If I got to say, the top 10 people I met in my life, I loved him. And I wanted everything good for him. And he hooked up with him. put on a blind date, and she was a big time doctor. And she made $2 million a year. And me and him were tight.

He was chubby. So him and I used to go eat, and I knew what we used to eat. And I know what he'd eat with this guy. And I know me and him got along the way we did because we both yucked a lot of foods. Like, we would not even think of eating a lot of foods. Right. You know, we would not eat. His big thing was almonds.

He doesn't like almonds? No, he loved almonds. Oh, okay. I love almonds. Amends is grafied. No cancer. You know, and I love this motherfucker.

I love this dude, you know. But he meets this girl, and now he's telling me how he's going to eat, like, Korean tongue, and all this shit. And I'm looking at this guy, and I'm looking at him, Lee, and I can see that he's breaking more and more in front of me with this woman. But I'm not saying nothing. I fucking hate this chick. I don't fucking like her all to the point where he proposes to her. He's going to marry it. I'm like, I'm not even going to a fucking wedding.

I booked myself out that week purposely. Because I loved him, and I didn't think he was ready for a wedding, and I didn't think that I just knew this wasn't going nowhere. I just knew that this was bad. Well, this motherfucker married him, and she got pregnant right away. And guess what she told? She goes, after I have the kid, I don't give a fuck about your job. I'm not getting up with this kid at night.

You're getting up with this fucking kid. And I got to get to work. You know why? Because I make $2 million a year. I don't give a fuck about your job. Now, even if she didn't have a job, she had a job that paid her three quarters of a million dollars a year

just overlooking medical papers for civil lawsuits and shit like that. Okay. 7.50. I go, and when he came to me, I go, dog, I could live off 7.50. Now, she was, was Korean and she was dirt cheap.

You want me to talk to you about dirt cheap? Hell yeah. No TV. No cable. No air conditioning. Do they hate fun? I don't, bro, this was horrible. This was all I needed a house.

He'd come to me and tell me this, Lee. And you know me, Lee. I'm like, I'm not going to listen to this. What do they do? No, no. And then I don't know what was going on, Lee. Hot. I don't know what was going on.

So one day, I just couldn't take when he'd tell me this stuff. We would meet three times a week. for at least breakfast. We meet at the IHOP across from the internet in Hollywood next to the sneaker warehouse there. And one day this motherfucker is telling me all this shit out. He doesn't have a job, you know, oh, and here's the best. He had to take care of her mother.

Lee, they had no air conditioning, they had no air conditioning, no cable TV, no TV at all. This kid lived on TV. You don't fucking understand. He had to watch the kid at night, chains the diapers, and then watched the kid in the daytime until a nanny came at like 2 o'clock. Then he could work for three hours. But if the mother needed to take a bath or something,

he'd have to bathe the mother. Lee, this was... My insides were on fire. And one day, I told my friend that was closer with him, by this time I had a relationship with the kid. And I fucking... I think me and Ralphie Mae talked to him. Well, a week later, he stopped talking to Ralphie Mae.

And about a week after that, he stopped talking to me. You told him Lee, you got to get some type of... Lee, Keith. You got to get some type of semblance in your life. You have to catch this because it's getting worse. You know what he's doing today? What? She divorced him, left him for a doctor.

And he lives downstairs in the bottom apartment with another loser buddy of his who's still writing Mrs. Doubtfire too because he was waiting for fucking Robin Williams to do Mrs. Doubtfire too. They live in a basement. He got his TV business going again because he got a nanny for the baby.

But he pretty much has the baby, 24 hours a fucking day. And he has to live downstairs and listen to his wife getting fucked by another fucking man. He sent me a message a month ago. You know what that message was? I should have listened to you. I'm sorry and I love you. I haven't heard back from him.

I haven't told anybody at all. Not even my wife. I have in contact him because that's what happened. I talked to him. He got mad at me. You got to take control somewhere. If you don't tell this person that you love, what you feel, and what you expect from them, it's not going to go nowhere.

It's going to happen 10 years too late. Do you follow them saying to you? You don't have back like a butcher, but you have to stick up for yourself in every relationship. If you got to fucking live with it before you marry, what the fuck are you marrying her for? You want a demo drive or some shit? I guess.

No, she's giving you a demo drive right now. Yeah. She can't, she can't, she can't move out and talk to she graduates anyway, so. She's going to have expectations from you, and you're going to have expectations from her. That's in her relationship. Yeah.

But if you don't raise your fucking hand, you know, Wana comes over Monday, days and Fridays to watch Mercy when Terry runs errands. Okay. Okay. Who do you think cleans the house from Tuesday to Friday?

You think the dishes just stay there and the kitchen just... We do. No, yeah, of course, yeah. We do. You know, you just can't sit on the couch and vegetate. Everybody got to kick in here.

No, no, Bob. You got to do dishes and everybody got to cook because you can't do 40 a night every night. Right. That's $2.80 a week. 40 a fucking night. So somebody's got to get a cookbook, and somebody's got to learn how to flip those fucking tacos. Because if not, what's the use?

What's the fucking use? What am I getting fucking married for? You follow me? You know, a man has to respect a woman, and a woman has to respect a man. You know, and they have to make it fit somewhere along the line. But, you know why? If you don't know how to cook, I don't give a fuck. You got to fucking learn.

Right or wrong? You got to, you know. Hey, listen, my mom taught me how to do laundry. So whenever I see my baskets, I pick it up and take it downstairs. But I'm not doing my wife's fucking laundry. You cabishe? You follow me?

Yeah. We both kick in, but everybody got to kick in. You just can't sit there and fan and go. I've never been this far until, like, a relationship before. Oh, I know you haven't. But you have to raise your hand from time at the time, and I ain't going for that. You know, when I got off the phone with you,

and you're not going to believe this. I didn't think about the key. thing? Until you told me the other day, you took the picture of original Joe's, and I said, you're going to go, and you go, I don't know, I have to sell it to Paul. And right there, I knew, you're going to sell it. We're going to original Joe's. It doesn't matter because it's the best value in town for the dollar. I'm going to take you to where fucking Dean Martin used to come up here with Sinatra. You want to take me on some Italian tour with some of these fake motherfuckers that sell

fiaccio bread? Now, I'm taking you to where it all starts. right or wrong. That's the 40 fucking years they've been there. 60 fucking years they've been there. Well, there's no convincing. You just go, let's go. Where are we going? We're going to go inside and eat.

But nothing. Get sit down. There's something on there, a chicken parmesan, a french fry, something, but you got to eat here. You come up here for 50 fucking years. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a savage. Every day tonight.

Terry's having a bad day, the dryer broke. You know, she was at the, the zoo with the baby and she got the call and then she had to come back and we had to drive Juana and then we had to all go together and I had to take the baby to the dryer mat and dry the clothes and you know so I told I go don't worry about nothing we're going to go fucking when I go home I have a short list of where we're going to go but she's not going to make me eat something that I don't fucking like or I don't want to fucking eat you know she's going to go well I'm in the move for this there's something like you know what I'm saying but there's

sometimes I can't fucking step in there and you're not going to have disagreements but you're going to have boundaries in a relationship. Okay. Right? I don't know. I'm asking you. I don't fucking know. It's, um,

it's just the, if you, like, in the old, I don't know if it's old and I don't know what the, the, the, the,

the word is relationships. Yeah, the wife cooks and my mom cooked and, and her mom cooks and everyone's cooked, but it's never been discussed. Paul, it's cooked for me a lot.

She does like to cook for me, but it isn't like in every, day thing and I don't I don't want to have her sick cook every day but I've also been like if we get married

does that how does that revert because you've talked about it with your first marriage you said you got like married to get somebody to do your laundry or something I'm like

does that happen and I'm like I don't know how that I was young and I was dumb well no I didn't know what to expect I've listened

I've always been the type but I don't want no woman looking at my underwear I don't want nobody looking at my underwear I just smelled my shoe before. I'm eight feet away from my shoe. You think I won't want somebody washing my socks?

You follow me? So I always been the type of guy. That's very unpersonal. When I go to a woman's house, when I go to somebody's house, let's talk about it. When I go to somebody's house and I go to pee, if there's a man and a woman that lived there in that bathroom isn't impeccable,

I don't even look on her fucking face anymore. You follow me? If I go into your bathroom, there's a pair of panties backwards, And I see a skid mark on that fucking yellow stain, a pee or something. And that's happened to me. I've gone to people's homes, and I've gone to the bathroom to pee. And in the bathroom on the floor, there's a woman's underwear with a yellow mark in her snatch.

I won't even touch the crackers. I won't even taste the fucking dip. Because if you don't have the chance to pick your fucking underwear up, what am I going to do that? Dog, I've done it. I've gone to people's houses that have had money, and I've had to go into their bathroom. and I've been in shock that a woman lives there. Jesus.

Like that a woman puts her fucking hot little pussy on that toilet would pee on it. Like yellow pee on the fucking thing. That anybody would look at that and wipe it down. That's what I'm saying. At one point, do you walk past something? Oh no, I agree with that.

It just, it's a weird, I don't know how you would just go to assuming they do it. That's all. How does somebody walk past something? and see it there. How do, how many, you know, I'm a firm believer. I don't ever want you to come to my house

and see a dish in my scent. That's the biggest disrespect you could do with somebody. It's me coming to your house and see six dishes in the same. I don't want to see that, though. And I don't ever want you to come to my house and me see that unless we're just cooking and eating. That's just me. I'm from the school that you finish a dish,

you get the fuck up with that dish, and you, that's me. I get up at my dish every night. I don't take two. Terry has never brought me a dish or take it. that dish unless you're over and she's like bringing in but besides that if you're not over or something i get up and get that food myself and when i finish i get up i rinse the fucking dish in my house i had to rinse the fucking dish and even if i didn't wash it i had to rinse it to

help out the dude or the woman who was washing it i go to your house to eat tonight with your mother when i was in high school i pick up myself and i put the dish in the sink and i hit it with water and they'll say leave it there and then i leave it there But I don't know what anywhere else was raised. That's how I was raised. I never did the water thing, but yeah. I always hit a dish or water. Really?

Yeah, always. Why let the cheese? This is easy. This is pre-soaking. I don't know what plans they have for the sink. What's that? I don't know what, like, maybe they wanted to do something with the sink. I never know where to put the plate.

Where to put the plate? Yeah, but you soak the fucking plate for them. Okay. You soak it for them. If I'm eating, if I cook something and it's got a film, I fucking put it in the sink and you soak it for somebody. and you hit some with soap with hot water. And now later on, when they come in,

their fucking shit is done. I've been to people's houses and there's a stack of fucking dishes and fruit flies. I run out of there. Yeah. Yeah, no, but I've always been alone. So I've always done all of my cleaning. So it's just now that it's going to be where we're going to move in kind of soon

and be like, how does it? I just, I don't know if it just happened. Did we talk about it? I don't know. Next week when she comes over, fucking put some dishes out. If she don't pick them up, then you got to have to talk with it. Go, what the fuck? You sat here for two days and then pick that fucking glass up?

What are you doing with your life? Right or wrong? When you're showing, she should come out, throw some coffee on for fucking Lee. And what the fuck is going on with this house? Why is this house smell like this? Oh, he left the dish out. Boop, boop, boop, pooh, bo. You come out, you see that she's doing that?

You take the vacuum. that's what a couple does Yeah But I'm gonna see you walk past the dish 18 times with an ice cream cup You left there, you better get the fuck up You better check yourself And check who the fuck

The fuck Right or wrong I don't know I don't fucking know I'm not talking about being I don't know either An animal but you gotta say something Somebody's gotta say something

She's not messy around my house No So yeah I don't know I've just been thinking about it I wonder what When you wake up and go in the shower, is you make your bed?

No, we don't make the bed. You got to make the bed. That's number one. Who makes the bed? That's what somebody on the notch would do. Gotta make the bed. I just fucked in that fucking bed. I'm gonna get in that bed without, you know what I'm saying?

Right or wrong? I don't know. I never care of a bed made bed. Yeah, you're gonna make the bed, dog. The bed's got to be made. You're gonna jump into an unmade bed? Hell yeah. Oh, that's disgusting.

Why? Because it's fucking disgusting. It's a bed. No. Well, let me ask you to do you wipe your ass after your shit every time? Yes. Well, you got to do the same thing with the bed. It's got to look nice when you jump into the sheets are fresh.

You spray some for breezing that motherfucker. When I get up in the morning after I wash my little monkey and I do the tweets and shit, I turn around, I put the bed back up, I fold it over. You move the pillows. You get them nicely nicey nice. You take a little bit more seriously than I do. Absolutely. You want to live like a doctor, right?

I have good shoes. Listen, man, I've been poor. So the two pillows I had, I had to make work all those years. so you fucking fluff them back the fuck up and you spray some for breeze on those motherfuckers so you can hit that pillow with bad breath all over again for your fucking house relationships are tough man

you have to say something that's what disagreements come it's not what you say it's how you say you can't say you fuck an animal clean the house but you could say you fuck an animal clean the house in different ways you know what's that anyway our sponsors

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As John Lennon's last down, it's a fucking that I've turned on for somebody reminded me of this jam. Thank you.