The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 3 Years Gone with the Wind | #234 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
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It's Monday morning and I got stuff to do
and people to see.
What's happened?
You bad savages.
It's Monday the 13th of March.
The month is rolling right along
like I knew it would.
You know what I'm saying?
It's a beautiful week to be alive.
It's a beautiful day to be alive.
We're back.
Mike and I were talking about the weed situation
in Jersey.
He went to a weed store last week
and the fucking line ended in Philadelphia.
you. That's how, you know, and it's so weird how the weed is blown up. And I'm really happy
that the refra has blown up. I was telling Mike, I remember when the pharmacy opened up in L.A.
And I refused to go to those places. I had a dealer. I was stuck with him. You know, I fought
to the end, but between the lollipops and the cookies and the cakes, you know, he wasn't a baker.
So I was like, fuck it, let me go to the pharmacy. I was like a kid in the fucking candy store. It was
phenomenal. Like I told Mike
for about six months and I looked at my credit
card statements and I'm like
what the fuck was this?
You know you went from buying
an 8th for 50 bucks
to spending 220 a day
now. So if I
was smoking an 8th in 2 days
I was going down there and dropping 200
just to have an extra 8.
The weed was so far. Every time I went in there
they had ice cream and lip balm.
Can you imagine putting lip balm on and getting
fucking high? They had everything.
at the fucking pharmacy.
But then, like I said,
I realized how much I was fucking spending.
My wife pulled me aside,
and she's like,
you put five grand on a card in a month.
And she was hot.
She goes, you're going to fucking pay that back.
I paid it back.
Everything worked itself out.
And I had a good time doing it.
And I'm happy that New York has finally been legalized in New York City,
and it's finally been legalized in New Jersey
and all the other spots
and the wheat stores
are making money
and people have somewhere to go.
But in California right now,
the tax on Reefer is so fucking high.
Like when people walk into a store
and they walk, like I told Mike,
they get in their car, you know,
they open up the bag,
maybe they want to drink the fucking CBD water
like I used to get.
And also you see the receipt there
and you see that you spent $125,
but you drop 60 in taxes.
And you're like,
what?
the fuck is this
and you know when you go to these weed stores now
I mean I have not been to a wheat store
yet in Jersey they say there's
one in Neptune that I'm thinking of stopping it
and just saying hello but when you go to
a weed store what I'm getting is that they're really packed
their lines are fucking
the ones up northern New Jersey
it's impossible you got to be there 10 in the morning
you can't have a fucking day job to get weed
you got to be there all fucking day like
getting barbecue in Austin
it's a three hour experience
so but it's
I'm happy, but I'll tell you what's going to happen.
Like in LA right now, when you look at those receipts, you're like, $50 in taxes, $50 for medical?
Because I'm buying recreation.
Medical, they, I don't know, there is, there is more of a, medical is TAC controlled.
Like the TAC levels are controlled.
And I don't know if it's more expensive.
You know, I remember going to Denver and you walked in, and then,
when you walked into the big wheat store
there was like a medical
and a recreational side
and I know that like
the recreational side didn't sell
edibles over 100
I don't know I know that there's little rules
but you know
it's it's gonna in L.A. right now
people are just going back to the black market
people buying I have a friend
here that buys pounds from L.A.
And he shows me the links that he gets
and he gets pretty good weed
for 2,600 a pound, 2200.
hundred a pound, you know.
The prices are going down,
but he's a genius
because he sells it in joints.
So I told him, I said, you can't,
like, you can't take laughing gas
and really get the full value of it
in joints. And I'll tell you why, because it's
that good. It's
that fucking good between us.
You don't need a fucking joint.
The Guava,
Kush, you don't need a joint of that.
Oh, my, the
one hit of the tremendous, you don't need a joint of that.
You'll roll a joint to be cool, but it's, you don't need a joint that.
That's the mistake I had.
When you buy an eighth of pot, especially anything over 25,000, 26%, it's really bonged
hit weed.
It's really bonged weed.
You know, for you people who don't know, when you see these rappers with these blunts
all day, they're smoking shitty weed.
I'm telling you right now, they buy weed.
to smoke and they rolled 10 of those fucking things.
Listen, I love smoking
rea, but the price
is a reefer, a fucking
you know, astronomical.
And
yeah, listen, right now,
like I was saying,
some of these kids that are buying weed,
these young guys,
they never really had a dealer.
They've never really had a dealer.
If you were 18
in California, 20 years ago,
you never had a dealer. You walked in
a store and that's all you've known since day one i always enjoyed the dealer like i miss calling
the guy like getting paid on a friday and calling the guy and going i'll be there at six and you
stop and get a 12 pack you tell your friends i'll be over there at seven and you go to yeah you go to
his house you buy a fucking eighth you take a bong hit you smoke some you talk some shit and you
get in the car and you fucking drive away and the whole time you're worried that the cops are gonna pull you
over and shit. That's getting
weed to me. Like that's the fun
day again. Weed. But life has changed.
And I fucking get it. Listen, I get it.
I don't, listen, I've always
loved going to a weed store.
I am not going to lie to you
motherfuckers and tell you that.
There is no, me at my age to walk into
anything, I don't get excited anymore.
Like, you know, when you're fucking, after you're
10, then when you were 10, you went to get a
hot wheel, you were fucking excited all week.
Like, yeah.
That, you know, I get fucking excited when I walk into a weed store.
And especially like, I like the new end ones that are big and everybody comes up to you with the computer.
Not to buy weeds.
Just to see what they've done with the reef of business.
What to see, what they've, how complicated they've made it.
There was a place in LA called House of Pies.
Love the place.
I love that coconut custard pie.
I went there twice.
Twice.
And I walked by there 80 times.
fucking week and wouldn't go back in there because I had to go up through the window. Hi Mike,
how are you? Good. What would you like, Joey? I'd like the coconut custard pie. Okay, write it down.
Now, the coconut custard pie would be five feet behind you. All you do is turn around, take it and
cut it and give you the coconut custard pie. Now, they had a receipt, they give it to the chick,
the chick ran into the back to the Mexican, and you had to wait 10 minutes for a piece of fucking
pie.
Great pie, but I'm not waiting.
You just added a job to a job that
wasn't needed.
You just added a whole hike to the backer.
You could have just turned around and cut a slice
and put on a fucking dish and given it to me.
I'm not that particular.
I don't need a fancy fucking dish or whatever.
They didn't even dope it up or anything.
When you go to these high-end weed stores,
and it happened right in front of my fucking eyes.
I was going to
the one read store on Burbank Boulevard.
They were the Russians.
they would really take care of me.
They were great people.
The guy was great to me.
But when it came to high-end weed,
they were on Ventura Boulevard,
i.e.
the ice cream shop.
But how I ended up at the ice cream shop
was across the street from there.
There was a weed store that was phenomenal.
I was a customer there since the minute
I moved to the valley.
And I loved them.
The girls were hot.
The girls were cute.
They were sweet.
They flirted with you.
They fucked around with you.
They gave you deals.
They had a punch card.
They were fucking, they gave you samples of shit.
They would take you into the back and show you the grow room.
It was just, and they would do it with anybody.
If you were in there, you're like, this place was great.
Come on, let me show you the grow room.
And you'd go back there and be like, you know, again, a kid in the fucking candy store.
You'd be a fat kid locked in a carvel.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you're like coconut, pistachio mint.
You know, you're like fucking a kid.
So, and that place was tremendous.
Like, I would get there at 10 o'clock.
Right when they opened, there was an Asian girl that was married and cool.
And she had a kid.
And we talk all the time about comedy.
And she went to the ice house all the time.
And, you know, it was just going in there.
They had juice.
I used to go to a place when I first got there that the motherfucker would serve bagels.
The mother, he was Jewish, you know.
Come up.
This motherfucker had it down.
He was a Russian Jew.
When everybody else was opening at 10, this motherfucker opened at 6. 6 a.m.
And you know why?
Because the city employees were going in there.
You would see city trucks parked there, all getting their fucking bagel and their fucking joint.
Oh, my God, it was like, that's where Miley Cyrus used to go with her brother.
The car with the bowl.
Yeah, that's when Miley would sit outside and the brother would go in and get weed.
There were some phenomenal little spots.
But again, I didn't move on because of my loyalty issues.
I moved on because they closed.
It's this strawberry liquid IV.
Fucking tremendous.
I love this shit.
They, you know, I wasn't my loyalty issues.
It was that people would just go out of fucking business.
Just like that.
Like the Jewish guy, that's where I used to get the banana bread.
That was the banana bread place.
She had a cook in the back that made fucking banana bread.
they gave out bagels with locks at 7 a.m.
And I'm not talking about shitty bagels.
I'm talking about this guy went somewhere in the valley and got bagels and he would get locks.
It was a ploy.
And it worked for him.
He got shut down.
Then there was the Armenians by my house that were fucking tremendous.
They got shut down.
The Russians always stayed open.
But like I said, the Russians had great filters.
The Russians had great edibles.
like they had the tubes I used to get
and the fucking punch bars
and all that shit with the Russians.
The stuff what I'm talking about now
with the Asian girl,
one day they just said we're closing for 30 days.
Okay, I can live with that.
We're going to renovate.
Okay, I can live with that.
And the next thing, you know,
I went in after a month and nobody was there
except for the manager.
He pulled me aside.
He's like, yeah, we got a new owner
and he's going 20.
20 on us and shit.
So they had all computer pads.
And again, you walk in, hi, how are you?
Welcome to fucking the green apple.
And you're like, what am I looking at?
Okay, you go over here.
And you would go, listen, let me get the strongest shit.
And she would go, ooh, you know, I don't know if I, you know,
you're like, what are you talking about?
No, they became woke.
They became very woke and very like, you know.
And I'm like, yeah, I want that.
Okay.
Do you have payment?
Yeah, you have to pay her.
She swipes the card and her computer thing.
And then she gives you like a number.
And then you sit there.
And then also number 48.
And you go up to the thing and they just give you everything.
You know, but it went from me going up to you going, hey, Mike, you got something good for me.
And you're going, fuck, yeah, hold on.
And you taking a basket out with tongues with chopsticks and taking out of butt and putting it down and having like,
I just found my magnifying glass the other day.
A little, which I don't care about a magnifying glass guys,
but I'm telling you that they gave it to you.
Then that all, that process got eliminated.
And they just, they already had it jarred and already in the bag.
So I was there for that, you know.
So that took me fucking for a loop when I went to the same store.
I was buying shit from a long time.
And now they're fucking, what do you call that shit?
They're already pre-packaging shit.
They give you one of those dead fucking pre-rolls.
And I couldn't take that.
like that in personal service.
I wanted it to be a little smaller.
The ones in New York City now are supposedly huge.
I saw a picture of one in Jersey with people with earphones.
Like people with earphones.
I don't know.
I don't know if weed was fucking made to be all this.
But, you know, guys, we live in a new fucking world.
So we reap what the fuck we sell.
Another thing came to mind this week that I've been thinking about.
A lot of people haven't thought about it.
It's the third year since the pandemic.
Today is the 13th of fucking March.
The world closed down on the 14th of March,
and there was official on St. Patty's Day that year.
Three fucking years, guys.
Let me ask you a question.
How much has your life changed in three years?
Do you...
Think about it.
Think about our lives in three years since the pandemic closed,
since the pandemic hit us.
Three, five.
fucking years.
Everything.
Everything changed.
The L.A. scene is no longer.
They're all in Austin jumping up and down at the mothership.
You know, I'm not there anymore.
You know, there's a bunch of people that are not there.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
How much have you changed, honestly, since the pandemic.
Your job, the people you hung out with, people that moved after the pandemic,
your home, you know, if you really think of, like, I had to sit down the other day and bust a newspaper out.
This is the disadvantages of getting high in the afternoon.
That sometimes you smoke pot and it hits you harder than others, like in the morning.
I like to smoke pot before I go to the red light sometimes.
Early in the morning, like a 10 to get the sweat going before Jiu-Jitsu.
Guys, I go in that high and my mind runs away with me, right?
and I was thinking about how much shit has changed in three fucking years in our lives.
People have changed a time.
Do you still remember being like April 17th a month into it and not knowing what was going to happen?
How much fear we had?
Like I was confused.
I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen.
Like we're going to be closed for another month.
I started worrying about money.
People around me were fucking dying.
Like people around me had no idea what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
Nobody knew what the fuck to say.
We were just stuck in our homes,
figuring it out for ourselves,
getting scared by the minute by fucking ABC eyewitness news today.
Let me tell you something.
I have never watched eyewitness news again.
Since the beginning of that day.
Since it was like,
I think I have not watched this is July of 2020.
I have not watched World News Tonight.
Guys, I've been watching World News tonight for 20 fucking years.
Every night religiously at 6.30,
unless I was working or doing something stupid.
Guys, I have not watched the news again.
It was part of me just disconnecting.
There's times I come on here now and I have no idea what to talk about
or what's going on in the world.
Because I live my life through 60 minutes,
and I live my life through Bill Maher on Sunday night.
Just a little bit.
That's the most politics I could take anyway,
and that's the most type of chit-chat on that subject I could take.
But fucking, I told my wife, during the week I go,
I still remember us mumbling leaving.
Like I'm...
And we were leaving for various reasons.
Like, I saw things.
It was just time.
It was just time, and we were going to leave anyway.
But I appreciated how my wife did it in two weeks before I could even think of changing my fucking mind.
Because if you know anything about me, I'm a fucking procrastinator.
I knew I had to leave L.A.
Since 2017, I knew it was time to go.
I was overstaying my welcome.
But you wait.
You think something big is going to happen.
And I was telling my wife, I'd go, I'll never forget how when I told me.
my agents that I was leaving,
how all of a sudden they were handing me
the world. What do you mean leaving?
Listen, let's do this.
Let's get you on the phone with a fucking,
there was nothing going on.
Nobody was doing anything. Nobody was talking.
There was maybe five or six comedy clubs open.
People were getting COVID at the comedy clubs already.
And they're calling me, talking to me about fucking,
we're going to get you a pitch meeting.
You're going to get a show on TV.
And I'm like, I'm like Pat Benatar in 84.
It's a little too late, Jack.
It's a little too late.
I've been hearing that story for 10 fucking years.
I pitched something, the whole thing,
it's time to fucking go.
And next thing you know, we're on a plane.
But with all that in mind,
I want you to think about how much your life changed.
Mike had a day job.
This was the last day.
Mike had a day job.
Mike, have you ever heard from him again?
Nope.
Have they ever called you for your computer?
No.
No.
Think about it.
He'll probably edit this out,
in case they're watching.
They're like,
I mean, bro, people just changed.
Think of how many friends you had
that just fucking changed.
Think of how you changed deep down inside.
I know I fucking changed a ton
without trying.
Without trying.
I'm going to stop smoking pot.
I'm going to stop eating Chinese food.
You know, that type of shit.
I'm going to stop eating pussy.
I'm going to stop sniffing underwear,
all that shit.
Everything stopped.
itself. There was no focus. There was no like you changed. You changed. Just the amount of coffee
I was drinking. The amount of sleep I was sleeping. The amount of stress I was going under which
had no idea about you read about stress as a silent killer. You don't have a fucking
clue about stress until the fucking ship travels. I didn't know I was stressed out. I had no
fucking idea what the hell was going on. But the pandemic made me fucking petrifying. But the pandemic made me
fucking petrified, scared, and it opened my eyes.
It really did those first two or three months at home alone.
Not seeing your fucking friends talking to Mike and Lee and Steve Simone and, you know, what's going on?
Do you need anything?
Are you all right?
Like that, you know, we were just trying to take care of each other.
Lee started walking with those fucking dudes.
They were dragging them along Ventura Boulevard with mask on.
it was a fucking trying time.
Think about this week,
I want you to really say to yourself,
what the fuck that I do during the pandemic?
How scared was I?
How scared was I?
I was scared of losing everything.
For starters, I got to be honest with you guys.
I was scared to losing my wife.
I was really on the brink of losing my wife.
Not that, no, no, no.
I shouldn't say that.
I wasn't on the brink of losing my wife.
I was, it was going to end bad if I didn't step away.
Because like for the first three weeks, I just hid from her.
I had no idea what to say to my wife.
I had no idea, like the first two weeks.
And finally one day I was in the back room and I go, you know what?
This is not a time to be isolated from your wife.
This is not a time to be not happy with your significant other.
this is not a time for any of this shit.
Whether it be your parents,
your brother, your sister,
this was not a time.
We were all so touchy
that it was not a time
for me and my wife
to be at each other at all,
at any fucking level,
over anything.
I said to myself,
I'm not going to argue with her.
I'm not going to give her hard time.
In fact, I'm going to be with her
a lot more than I hang.
I mean, we were fucking stuck
in the goddamn house.
I mean, you know,
I went for a ride once or twice
a day she went for a ride once or twice a day i started riding my bike you know i think that's where
i changed the most i looked at my fitness a lot more on my health we all really started looking at
our fitness and our health um we started looking at our futures i know i did i started looking at my
future going to what the fuck are we going to do here what the fuck is going on here you know
i looked at my family and i'll tell you what i where i improved since the pandemic
I'm going to tell you where I improved so much.
Because you have to take a mental,
you really do have to make a fucking,
you have to take like an inventory now
and go, what did I learn the last three years?
What did I really go through?
I think I became a better husband.
It forced me to become a better father.
It taught me how to relax again.
It taught me how to sit in a chair outside and go.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I got nowhere to be.
And guess what?
The world's not going to end if I don't get there.
They'll fucking live with it.
I'll live with it.
We were in a rush from 19- fucking 79 to 2020.
I was always in a rush.
Always in a fucking rush.
You know, I did not know how to even work out.
You know, I would go to Jiu-Jitsu and I'd be thinking about the next activity.
I'd go to the gym.
and in the middle of gym
I'd be thinking about the next activity.
If I went to do stand-up,
I wasn't living in the moment anymore.
My mind was racing, and that's never good.
I'm not whining, guys.
It was great.
I had a good time.
You know, we accomplished our goals,
but somewhere along the line,
I think a lot of people,
not just comedians, I think a lot of people
gained strength through the pandemic.
As fucking scary as it was,
Because remember, the only way you get stronger in life is by moving past something.
We move past something fucking pretty big.
The main question is, how are we going to react to the next one?
How we, was this a, was this a fucking prelude?
Yeah, was this a prelude to something that's going to happen in the future?
I mean, they're never going to lock us down again.
Now is when they've learned all the fucking damage at the lockdown.
The kids, to seniors, to us, our fucking immune systems, they found this out.
So we're never going to go lockdown again.
But think about it.
If something like this happens again and people are really getting sick again and, you know, we go back into hospitals.
I mean, you know, we're never going to lay flat and nobody's going to be dying on Facebook and all that shit anymore.
Nobody turned that into a series.
I was so in shock that nobody went out and said, give me all your Facebook memories and let's do the video.
are dying on Facebook.
I thought that was going to be a great sitcom.
I really did.
You know, come to the hospital.
I can't see you, but it was sad.
I'm just trying to make a joke of something stupid.
But it's true.
I mean, now you have to think about how I'm going to be prepared for the next time something like this happens.
I'm not saying there's going to be another pandemic.
I'm not saying that the bat's getting out.
You know, I'm not saying three years later, it definitely came from a lab.
Who knows where the fucking came from?
at the end of the day, it don't fucking matter.
It's how we're going to react to the next one.
From how we, what we learned.
Dog, I had more fear than I had ever been in my life looking back at it now.
And I'm not ashamed to fucking say it.
I developed a fucking fear early on.
You know, listen, man, I listen to white people.
I don't listen to anybody when it comes to that type of shit.
And I don't know if you guys notice.
I'm not trying to be offensive here or anything,
but white people were fucking scared.
And when white people are scared, I'm scared.
You follow what I'm saying to you?
I don't give a fuck.
We were scared.
There was a lot of fear going around.
And for some people it got into that fucking psyche.
And I think at the end of everything, along with the confusion,
the fucking withdrawal, it was just too much for me.
And I'm happy.
Look at all the good things that came from the pandemic.
Look at all the fuck.
There's a lot.
Motherfuckers, half of you don't have to go to work no more.
You got better jobs.
Yeah.
Oh, you got better jobs.
you know your hours are different
your relationships are different
you know how you look at vacation
everything's different now
you know how you look at the holidays right
you want to go I got to prepare for the fucking holidays
I got to make sure not to get COVID in November
so I could be able to go to my boogaloo
fucking classes in December
you got to look at life a lot fucking differently
man but I'm happy that we adjusted
I'm happy that we made it through
but that's food for the
Thought, food for thought this week.
Three fucking years ago we were going through.
Three fucking, I went through a week of, right now I was going through hell three years ago.
Right now it was Thursday.
And I was going to leave on a plane Friday.
I had already canceled Nyack, two nights in Nyack.
I fucking pulled it off.
And then that Friday, I was supposed to come to New York City, wait all weekend,
and then shoot the Sopranos on Monday and Tuesday, St. Paddies,
and the day afterward,
and when they fucking called me at 6 o'clock,
because Berndtall already,
John Berndtel had already negotiated for them to fly us in a private plane,
and I was still fucking petrified.
And I'll never forget when I landed,
when Monday came,
I got the report out of New York about Michael Yo.
Michael Yo had been in bad fucking shape,
and I was like, you know, I said a prayer for Michael Yo,
but at the same time, I was like,
that could have been me last week in New York City.
And the fucking freak of that week,
I got to admit to you, you know,
I don't know about the Mickey Mantle Jean and that.
New York City got hit hard.
And that week, Bert Kreischer was in New York, that whole week.
And he went to a nick game.
I'll never, ever forget this shit.
That motherfucker went to a nick game.
and they caught him on the jumbo tron.
Like Wednesday night,
when the fucking city was petrified,
the numbers were going up,
and here's Bert with a beer
that was half full,
and he went over to somebody
and like three people poured their beers in there,
and Bert drank it,
and I'm like,
I'm turning this off
because that motherfucker's dying right there.
That motherfucker's dead,
and he lived through it,
so Bert really does have the Mickey Mantle gene.
I'll tell you what else popped up
from this fucking.
and pandemic. That's also great. Better
Help and a bunch of companies like them
that just cater with you now online. And while we have it,
how about a quick word from our sponsors? Let's go to BetterHout.
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And now back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Enough of that fucking depressing fucking whatever talk.
I don't know if you guys been on a different planet this week
or something else happened this week in the music industry.
That was very sad.
And that's my man.
I think his name is...
What the fuck was it?
Yeah.
Washington, whatever.
Gary Rossington passed away.
To some people, nobody gave a fuck.
He was just another redneck.
To me, no.
No.
No.
This week I had a...
reflect on that and go.
Well, that was the last
original members.
That's it.
Those motherfuckers, you know,
listen, guys, I love
how we throw away, we throw
these words away now.
Like, this is history. This is
monumental. You know, this
is epic. You know, five
of the best comedians on the same
build. This is fucking history.
You give me a fucking break.
You give me a
fucking break with your history fucking things, you know.
It's history.
LeBron James, tickets are going for $7,000.
Are you fucking crazy?
I get care of less if LeBron James falls off the back of the fucking bus, whatever the fuck.
You know, enough already, you know.
All these people have this fake history in their mind.
Like, that's historic, you know.
You're fucking retarded.
You're fucking retarded.
history is such a thing that's like, you know,
nobody gives a fuck at the end of the fucking week.
I'm going to tell you what history was.
History is three or four dirty fucking dudes from wherever they were,
Jacksonville, Florida, or, I don't know,
there was somewhere down there.
That put together a sound that you'll never duplicate again.
Like, it was never done.
Like, I was sitting there the other day reading about this guy, thinking to myself.
So before 1973, nobody did Southern rock.
Like, nobody did Southern fucking rock.
That's what you're trying to tell me.
But Rockabilly's got to be something in there.
Like, Rockabilly became that.
You know, there's got to be different fusions of music that became that.
And then years later now, people argued about whether is it country or country rock or Southern rock.
You know what it was?
Let me tell you what Leonard Skitton was.
Come here.
They were a force of fucking nature.
And guess what?
It'll never fucking happen again.
Just like Nirvana will never happen again.
And Led Zeppel never happen again.
And bands like the Rolling Stones or just some band that you might like that had a unique sound.
It's never going to happen again.
I was there, guys.
I'm not going to tell you that I was jumping up and down when Leonard Skinner first released that album where I knew
You know, I was dead when they sung free bird.
You know, I'm not going to tell you none of that shit.
But I still remember the reaction that these motherfucking bands were given.
I grew up in North Bergen, New Jersey, bitches.
And, you know, it's Blue Collar.
So why the fuck would Southern music be up in Blue Collarville?
You know what I'm saying?
Are you with me, motherfuckers?
Why the fuck would we be playing Molly Hatchet and the Allman Brothers?
And, you know, the Marshall Tucker band and fucking,
And if you want me to come out and yell at you and go,
I was right there.
I loved all those bands.
No, I didn't.
But they did have some badass jams.
And their attitudes were fucking stronger than the rock guys we came up to love.
Molly Hatchette flirting with disaster?
Come on, dog.
These bands were fucking Marshall Tucker band.
These guys drank for fucking days.
Okay?
There was no political correctness.
There was no party.
There was no showers.
There was nothing.
There was fucking syphilis.
Getting fucked in the ass.
Drinking and playing a fucking banjo.
You ever fucking doubt me?
You go on YouTube and you go on a fucking Leonard Skinner down a...
You watched them live from fucking Asbury Park.
It's a black and white footage.
You watch these motherfuckers.
And you're like...
And then you go on Showtime or whatever that documentary is on.
Netflix, I think it is, about the drummer or whatever.
You know, you go on there and you take a look at that shit,
and you're like, what the fuck were they doing?
That documentary about the Stones telling them at Nebworth,
not to walk on the tongue,
and they went out there and not walked on the tongue,
but stepped on the fucking tongue.
God damn it, that doesn't make you proud to be an American.
I don't know what does.
They didn't give a fuck.
All these fake people that you see,
I don't give a fuck.
Guys, they did not give a fuck.
September 77, go to fucking them from the Oakland Coliseum.
Tell me they gave a fuck on that stage.
Tell me they got a memo from somebody.
Tell me that.
I love for you to fucking tell me that.
They didn't give a fuck.
That was the 70s.
We're playing music.
We're catching VD.
We're fucking smoking dope.
We're drinking.
And we're going to play all fucking night.
Fuck the union.
Fuck the guys that say you got to get off that stage at 1 a.m.
It was a different fucking time, guys.
I mean, listen, I would love to tell you that I grew up on the Allman Brothers.
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't, but I listened to them growing up.
And even then, I was like, this ain't my favorite music.
But I got a mental note.
This shit is fucking interesting.
You know, whipping post and all that shit, live from the Beacon Theater.
Very interesting music, you know.
You get Molly Hatchet.
Listen, I know flirting with disaster or whatever.
but they had another album that was fucking tremendous.
You know, I can't remember the name of it right now.
What was another out?
There was another Southern Rock album that I had at the house
that, you know, this ain't the shit
you're going to play at a party in North Bergen.
This ain't the shit you're going to hear in a club in New York City.
But this is the shit you listen to in your basement
when you're smoking dope and you're like,
wow, what the fuck is this?
You know, I still remember Eddie telling me a fucking story about
um
kiss how he had a sneak
his albums home
and put him under his shirt
and shit
and bring him in the house
and listen to him when
when uh
nobody was home
listen
guys that's
that's all our stories
you know I feel bad
for the youth of America today
that they can't bring an album home
and put it on a jukebox or whatever
you know you got
you got your tray of CDs
or whatever the fuck you got
your iPhone
everything is on
on iPhone and Spotify.
But just to feel these albums,
this is why when I was doing the album
on a week on Patreon, I really enjoyed it
because I wanted you to feel these albums.
I wanted you to look in the album.
You know, when you put a song on Spotify,
I hear the song.
I hear the guitar licks.
I hear the lyrics.
I hear the production of it.
It's great.
But once I look at the album,
I'll understand your band a lot better.
Once I look at the little diagrams that you made
in your stupid fucking album
and the pictures that you put in there
of your fucking bummy friends
sleeping with dirty feet.
I'm not here to criticize it.
I'm just telling us
that that was our podcast of you
when we were growing up.
That was our podcast.
You know, there was no internet.
There was cream,
there was Rolling Stone,
and there was the album.
And that five minutes
when you just opened the album
and read the things
and, oh, you know,
we want to thank you.
all the Hilton hotels and shit like that.
That was our little podcast.
We had to develop a fucking story
from what we read in that diagram.
They just set out like a thing for you,
you know, like with the connector dots
and you've got to fucking connect them on your own.
So that was what made us tick.
So, you know, music has changed a lot.
This, I mean, I think they're just a cover band now.
And they've been a cover band
for like 20 years with the existing members.
I mean, it's not really the brother, the son, the nephew, you know, and it's pretty impressive and shit, but they could go on forever.
And they're probably going to go on forever, and I support them going on forever.
But in reality, that movement that I experienced growing up, you guys are experiencing something else.
You're experiencing Post Malone and, you know, with his light little fucking flofers and, you know, Harry Stiles with a dress on.
You guys are experiencing that and God bless you guys.
It's not for me.
I got to experience something that was hard, dirty, gritty.
And I mean, you know, when I think of the albums that changed, that molded me into liking music, it's got to be Led Zeppelin too.
Dirty.
It's got to be that one, you know, I can't remember all these albums now at the top of my head.
It's got to be those early Sabbath things.
But at the same time, it's got to be two for the road by Lerner.
on it's getting it.
It's got to be giving me back my bullets.
Because I had to give me back my bullets before.
I had two for the road.
And then the other one of their albums.
I love that fucking album.
Give me back my bullets, you know?
And then comes of whatever, the street survivors,
another piece of great fucking work.
Listen, well, people,
there was a band a couple years ago that my friend, John Hayes,
his son was in it.
And they had that Marshall Tucker sound.
But I don't think.
it would ever come back and I don't think that
you know right now you have like
who's the pretty girl that every
Monday morning I gotta wake up and she fucking
thrilled people with her hot pants
on she got on stage with
Axel Rose and
she's great I'm not saying that she's great
I forget you know there's a lot
of female country singers there's Chris
Dapleton there's a lot of great
country people right now
but that's not Leonard Skinnan
that's not letting it's skinning
and that's not going to be the almond brothers and I like
him jelly roll i fucking love jelly roll the reason i dig jelly roll as much as i do because his
voice reminds me of greg ormond he's white but he sings black and it's not black it's his
fucking soul that he's throwing out there for you motherfuckers for you to you know take a look at and go
okay but it's uh again i could lie to you people there's you know i'm depressed about how to put
the picture up of him when i went to you to you know i went to you to you
I'm not doing any of that.
I'm just letting you know that in reality
it's the end of a fucking era.
Ozzie, him.
I mean, I'm looking at these bands that are going out
this year. There's a lot
of bands that are going out this year that
this might be the last time they go out, guys.
I just heard the other day that Kiss is doing Madison Square Garden
in December.
The final time.
The final, final, final.
Two shows.
This is the last.
Last, last, last, last, last time to let me fucking do that shit.
But now, and you know what, man?
I can't imagine, like, when this guy went down,
I was thinking about Kiss because I had heard it that day.
I think on any Trunks radio show.
When I was thinking about the day when Gene Simmons passes,
how many people are going to be fucking, like, just blown away?
And even though Kisses and putting out new music or anything like that,
they did the damage they had to do.
know, Ace Freely.
I know that Ace Freely was at someplace in L.A.
two weeks ago, and Dean said he missed it.
And he was pissed off because, you know, Ace is tremendous.
But, you know, pretty soon all these guys are going to be drying up.
I mean, we still got Keat.
We still got Mick Jagger.
We still, you know, we still got a lot of great guys.
But in reality, they're getting fucking old.
And they can't hop around like they fucking used to the energy they had.
They're not used to it.
So, like I said, a thousand times, I'm going to go right.
Now as it is so far, I'm going to see somebody I really want to go see.
I want to go see Quiet Riot with Mike May 2nd or something like that.
The UFC is going on sale Friday from May 6th.
I don't even know who's on the card.
I just saw.
I thought it was Olivera, but it's not.
Yeah, in Newark.
Newark.
So I don't know.
If it's a fucking late card, I can't be there.
If they started seven, I'll be there.
But at 10 o'clock.
I have a rough time with
especially Saturday nights
I watched the honeymoon as with her
this weekend
fucking guys
I had a great time with her
Saturday was a shitty fucking day
I had plans to go meet my teacher
Mr. Barone
drop off a book on them
maybe go to lunch
but it was just shitty
they said it was going to rain up north
it was going to snow up north
so I'm like what the fuck am I going to do
so I go
you know what maybe I'll go see Creed
because Creed came out this week
Guys, I got to get back into the movies.
I'm not going to sit here a week and talk shit to you people,
that the movies suck, but then again, I'm not getting fucking into them.
So I said, you know what?
I'm going to get back into going to movies again,
because my wife told me John Wick 4 is coming out.
There's a couple movies that are coming out.
So she goes, well, you go on the movies with?
I go, who am I going to go to movies with?
By myself, I got an asshole.
I go down there, I'll stop it.
Kings, get some Chinese food now, fucking,
come up, you know, and she goes,
did you ask Mercy?
And I'm like,
Mercy's not going to want to go see fucking Creed.
She goes, you never know.
Ask him.
Michael B. Jordan, and he's in Black Panther.
She likes all that stuff.
So I go, Mercy.
You want to go see Creed with me?
She's like, the new Creed?
I go, yeah.
She goes, yeah, I'll go see it with you.
I go, oh, shit, all right.
I had to run around.
I had to go work out and shit.
I got home.
I took a shower.
I got dressed.
I go, let's get the fuck out of here.
We went to Red Robin.
and East Brunswick went to Red Robin.
We had a fucking classic cheeseburger.
We went in there, you know, the movie theater was fucking empty.
But this is a 14 movie theater.
Like they have 14 movies in this place.
So I was a movie theater at 10.
There's probably seated 60 people.
There's probably 15 people now.
We bought a thing of popcorn.
She got a nice, nice seats, comfortable.
We bought a thing of popcorn.
We bought some fucking, she got a slurpy.
I got a Coke Zero.
And I watched the fucking movie.
Was an Academy Award winner?
No, but it was entertaining.
And while I was sitting there, I got to spend time with my daughter.
And we watched them.
We giggled and shit.
Half hour trailers.
2 o'clock movie time.
2.30 is when the fucking movie started.
Not mad.
You know, not mad at all.
But it's just funny that.
that.
But I will tell you what I did
notice.
Movies are back.
There's a bunch of good movies
coming out.
They got their step back.
They got it back.
They learned how to work
with COVID.
They said, fuck it.
Good movies are coming out.
One movie's coming out
that the guy called me
and offered me a day in it,
but he offered to me
like the week before.
Like he called me like
today for like next Tuesday.
Oh no, for Thursday.
It was like Monday he called.
He goes, can you be in California on Thursday?
It's a movie called Sweetwater about the New York Knicks and basketball.
There's some good fucking movie.
There's a movie about night coming out about Michael Jordan with the whole crew from fucking Goodwill Hunting and, you know, all of America's best.
That new movie, I'm not going to go see it.
But Jesus Christ.
What's the one with Paul Walker that he died?
Fast and Furious.
It's the last one.
10 or 12 or something.
Jesus Christ.
Those guys made a ton of money.
What's his name?
Looks fucking old.
Vendiz.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
If you think I look old, that motherfucker looks old.
But the movie looks okay.
Aquaman's in it.
You know, that big fucking...
Mawa.
The other guy's in it.
I can't wait to take my son to see Super Mario.
Super Mario's coming out.
I think Sebastian's in it.
Sebastian's movies coming out.
The fucking machines coming out.
I put the trailer up the other day.
So the movies are back.
So I got my little hobby again.
Going to the movie theater.
sitting there with an edible in me and fucking just dreaming.
And that's it, you bad motherfuckers.
It's Monday, the 13th of March, a little Monday motivation for you.
And that's it.
I ain't laying no claims.
I ain't fucking doing dick.
It's a beautiful day to be alive.
I'm feeling better.
I'm looking better.
And just food for thought three years ago today or tomorrow, the pandemic shut everything down.
How much did you fucking change in those three years?
stay black.
Have a great week, and I'll see you,
Cocksuckers next week.
Tip Top Magoo,
and now for a word
for my motherfucking sponsors, Jack.
All right, you bad savages.
Thank you very much for taking the earbeat from Uncle Joey today.
Collingthons is in my prayers.
But anyway, don't forget this Saturday,
the day after the Irish disaster of life.
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I want to thank.
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I want to thank you, Savages, for having my back.
Stay Black, have a great week, and I'll see you next Monday, Tip Top Magoo.
