The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #308 - Tait Fletcher

Episode Date: August 13, 2015

Tait Fletcher, Entrepreneur and Actor, seen in "The Equalizer, and 'Breaking Bad,'" joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.   All info can be found here: http://www.eddiebravoinvitational.com/   This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   
NatureBox. Visit naturebox.com/joey for a box on them.   MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off.   Recorded live on 08/11/2015.
   Music:
 Walk All Over You - AC?DCDown In A Hole - Alice In Chains

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off. Kick that thing, Lee. It's Tuesday afternoon. Tape Fletcher's in the fucking house. Lee Syatt's in the house. Jews are in the house. It's August 11th. The day the devil was buried in sea.

Fucked in the ass. Lit on fire. Spit in the face. They did everything for that motherfucker today. It's Tuesday afternoon, motherfucker. What else you got tracking in your life? Dancing with the scars?

Who gives a fuck? Donald Trump will be here next week. I love to smoke a fucking fat joint with that motherfucker and really let them loose. Really here to what the fuck he really got to say. Do you think you would do it? No, he would never fucking do. I think he would smoke. You finally recovered from your coma last night?

Oh my God, that was crazy. When you leave here, you went and picked up food. Yeah, we went and got a burrito and then one in the morning we got a donut. Just one donut? Yeah. Who goes and gets one donut? No, no, no, we each got a couple. Okay.

Yeah, no. Three. No, we didn't get that's like when people go the bar for a drink. Yeah, we each got two. We each got four donuts. You bad, motherfucker. One in the morning, you were that hot. You give me like 400 milligrams.

Who gives the fuck? It's Monday. And we smoke two joints. Who cares? It's Monday. Who knows? I'm just saying. We were just sitting at home and I was just stoned out.

I was like, we have to go. Because we were just watching TV. It was great. I had coffee. That's all you had? That's it. I had coffee. Oh, you're better than I am.

It was a fucking four. And I had two peaches. All those fortune cookies are good. They're sweet. I had a fortune cookie, two peaches, and a package of 100 calorie almonds. That was my late night fucking snack. Where do you get one fortune cookie? It was left over at the house from Chinese fruit.

What's up, Tate Fletcher? You bet, motherfucker. Good to see you. Movie star, entrepreneur, weightlifter, jihitsu technician. You know, just trying to stay above water over here. Tate, uh... It's awesome being in here, dude, and seeing this poster. Yeah, yeah.

That's awesome. That's fucking crazy, Tate. It's crazy. That was 10 years ago. I tell people, about our history. And like, oh, and then he met Joey? I was going, no, man, Joey proceeds everything.

No, Joey proceeds everything with Tate. Tate brought me fucking a bottle of oxygen. He got it whole foods for me. Well, here's the deal. Liquid, liquid oxygen. Like, corn oil. 400 pounds I was, Tate. Dude, I go up the first time I see Joey, I was, there's like, well, who was it,

Tracy Morgan or something there, and, and you're sitting on the bench and we're out in a prison yard at 7,000 feet altitude. New Mexico and on the set of the longest yard and fucking Joey's rapping the whole Ready to Die album to these guys fucking smoking a marble light and I'm like

he might die right now holy fuck yeah he's like yeah maybe I'll go just do it a little bumper get a number in the fucking shit real quick and it was amazing so that was my initiation kind of into it

and then always talking about jujitsu and like oh i know because all these like bob sap was there so marie smith and then ivan salivary were on set helping bob for his fights because he was kind of in between and uh like yeah yeah jiu jihs and i'd always looked up to eddie i was like no like i'm like this just one of these dudes talking about all this and then i was like he's not really like that kind of dude though i'm like this is weird as fuck and then when we moved out to lae on it and then i just ended up by hook and crook kind of down at eddies it was close to the little apartment i was Trenton in Tytown

and fuck man in walks Joey one day Hey little brother And then fucking everybody goes crazy And I was like god damn Yeah that was it was That was before I met Joe I met his wife first

A year before I met Tate's girlfriend first Were you acting on the show or on the movie? Yeah I was like a stand in on it It's so crazy because When you go to these places Like it was so crazy You met Heather at the bar No I met Heather on the set

And she fucking gravitated to me because she was like, I got to tell you something, I just heard your fucking accent. Just talk for five more minutes. Because her in-laws, her parents, her roots are from Brooklyn. So she's in fucking Santa Fe surrounded by Gentiles and people wear sandals.

She hears me talking and I'll never forget her face. She was like, this motherfucker's bringing me back. So she came over and introduced herself and right away, said to me, you know there's a Dunkin' Donuts up the corner. Because that's it. That's how we bond. She's like, there's a Dunkin' Donuts up there. There's a place that makes pizza in Albuquerque,

and she just started rattling off. Yeah, she got the shit dialed in. The New York wants, you know? And then she's like, Tate. And then I remember I was in my trailer, and you guys came by. I couldn't breathe. And in those days, when we first did the longest yard,

the first week I didn't work. But we were at a high school. Remember the first week? We were at a high school. Oh, on a football field there. Yeah. On the football field. Listen, bro, they wouldn't let me on the field.

They gave me oxygen. And they assigned me this little Asian trainer. and all the Asian trainer would do is make me walk around the field with this oxygen in my mouth. It was hysterical. They were fucking paranoid as fuck I was going to die.

So for the first week or two, all I did was I do this type of stuff with my hands, like little circles with an oxygen thing on. They're like, no, we don't want you doing much. We don't want you.

Were you feeling bad? Do you know I couldn't bend over? Do you know that those scenes were you supposed to put two fingers on the floor? Yeah. Like a down lineman? I couldn't put my fingers on the floor. They had to put a fucking four by,

four under my feet, guys. That's how sad that was. That's the true story. I still see the kid. My double, he's going to stand up. I see him around town. I bump into him at the improv. Tell me his name? You know, man, I forget. Nice kid.

Is he at the store sometimes? No, he's at the improv. He does all the labs and shit. I bump into him. And, yeah, you know, you know, I still talk to. I'll tell you who reached out to me. After nine years, I never heard from him again. Romanosky.

Really? When the movie ended, months later, Romanoski sent me a box. Of muscle milk. Of all his protein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is muscle milk his? That's his shit.

No, it's not. That fool's papered up. No, it's not. Muscle milk is him? That's his shit. He sent me the other shit, the shit for your brain that tastes like tang. Oh, okay, I don't know.

You put it in water and you fucking, it was the first alpha brain. Really? That was the first shit that... It's a smart guy, man. That would send you. It was tasted like orange. So I'm like, if I drink this shit, I'll beat the blow.

I was doing it with blow I was drinking it. That was like when you're like, how do you do X-C and vitamin C or whatever? It was crazy, but he emailed me. Yeah. To say hello.

He didn't say much. I just want to say hello. Somebody mentioned your name. It's good that you're still out there doing it. Does he live up in Colorado or something? He didn't fucking say, yeah, yeah, he teamed up with that doctor. Remember, he showed up with a doctor.

He was really trying to do some things. He showed up with his own fucking doctor, Dr. Nelson. And Dr. Nelson would touch you, would work by feet. you and shit like that. The first time Dr. Nelson, I came in before they put the shoulder pads on me, and Dr. Nelson goes, lay down.

I never forget this, guys. And I laid down, and he touched my back. And he goes, what time did you do your last line? What? And I said about four, but don't say nothing. He goes, I'm not going to say nothing. He goes, but you got to get this shit out of your body. He started talking to me.

He's the first guy that knew on the set that had a drug problem. Little by little him and I were talking about. Were you shaking or something? No, he just knew. done it like three days early. It's so crazy. I had gotten high like on a Friday. This is when we were up here in Paramount. Okay. Because he didn't show up down in Santa Fe. I don't remember him in Santa Fe.

Down south at that football field down there. Right. Right. And when Homeboy ran off and holed up in a hotel for a few days. Michael Irvin. Oh my God. You know, the problem with those movies is you have too many personalities. There's a lot there. That movie had too many personalities and too many people that had demands. Yeah. Nellie was cool as shit.

Super cool. Super cool. But like Irvin had to leave. You know, there was somebody else that had to keep leaving. The Japs came and got Bob Sapp. Tell that story. When the Yakuza came and got Bob Sapp. Listen to me.

He kept saying, I have to go to Japan to take technical obligations. And Adam and Debenardi kept saying, no, no, no, no. You can't leave. We have you here. One day you heard click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. It was two Japanese dudes with. this suit with the fucking wooden shoes. When they show up with wooden shoes,

those clog fucking things, they're not fucking around. They had a cigarette with the stick. They had two cigarettes with those sticks. They were both smoking. There was two of them. And they came onto the set and they started talking. And next thing you know, Bob Sapp was going to whoever the fuck he was gone.

That's a shady business. That's a shit. That's when they was fighting. Yeah, that was shady. They came and said, he's going today. He kept fucking around. They kept fucking around with his contract. Oh, two more weeks.

Dude, he got into shit later, too. he was in, I think he was in Denmark maybe, and the Japanese, and I think the Russians got involved also, but they came up and he was going to fight somebody, Bojansky or somebody that was kind of a killer, and kickboxing, in K-1, and he was going to get a million dollars or something for it. And they go, okay, you fight tonight,

and no pay, though, that will pay your taxes because they hadn't paid any taxes on anything of his. And he's like, of that. I'm not going to fight and not get paid for this and they said, yeah, yeah, that's what you're doing. And then it got more insistent. Yeah, no, you're doing that. He got in a car. He said there's a high speed chase all through the hills and shit getting out. He had to escape

from these motherfuckers and get to the airport and get the fuck out. They came and got them at the airport. They came and got them. The people who owned pride over the fuck they were. They weren't fucking around. That's the first time I seen all that shit. But New Mexico. We're wearing the wooden shoes? That's scary.

They had wooden shoes. They had high-tailed suits on. Yeah. But they had those shoes that click. When you have those shoes that click, you ain't fucking around. I can't believe Bob Zapp was scared of anybody. I'm just thinking about how big he was. Well, just imagine that.

And two little Asian, two little Japanese guys are like, he's coming. Imagine the kind of weighted dude carries when a 400-pound muscle-bound killer, like Bob Sapp is like, no, no, okay. I'm coming. That he's seen, he's seen the weight. He had a house in Japan. He had people in Japan. they would have fucking slaughtered everybody. Oh, that's crazy. Remember at that time,

Bob Sapp was the hottest MMA guy in the world. They had just done a feature on him on HBO Real Sport. And in Japan, huge. Right. He couldn't walk down Japan. They said in Japan it was like if Michael Jackson would walk out on Fifth Avenue in New York City, he would shut down the streets. He was fucking three Japanese girls at once with one dick.

He would slice it like a fucking Japanese Shishka bottle. And then they would just fall off and push him off the balcony and get three more. It was craziness. But all those type of personalities were on this movie. And then you had... Goldberg. He got the fights with the producers, I understood. Then you had fucking... The kids that were the real football players.

Right. You had real football players. Yeah, the set mixed with college players. So it was very an interesting fucking dynamic. Then you had who I see now all the time. And I'm really happy for him that he gets movies. Kevin. Kevin Nash is one of the nicest...

Bro, he's not. a ton of fucking movies. He's in Magic Mike. He's one of the dancers or something in Magic Mike. Killer. And I think he's in Wick. Yeah.

In John Wick? Yeah. Wick kills him. Huh. Outside the door. That's who John Wick kills. Outside the fucking door at the club, at the Russian club at the end.

Yeah, he was in John Wick, Francis. Huh. Yeah. He was in a bunch of shit. He killed me in the WW. Did he kill you in John Wick? Who did?

Uh, Keanu. So fucking Higgins and John Wick and the two that. He was too. I missed that. No, he's in the two. They're doing Johnwick, too. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're shooting in New York.

So he's playing one of the cab drivers. He's one of the Brazilian crazy fucking cab driver. Are you digging this other side of the business? Dude, it's neat, man. You know, it's always been something like what they said, like in 2000 when I first got a sad card, they're like, the dude that helped me out. He was like a guy named Keith Willard. He says, yeah, you should keep doing this and da da da da. I'm like, man, I'm like, there's no way I'm a kid from Michigan.

and you're not going to be in a film. I got this one job at the nightclub. I'm fighting. I'm doing this stuff. I like doing this. I just call it good there. And then years later, after like a whole fight career unfolds and all that, and like a whole other life happens,

I come back into this thing and it's like, it's not only like possible. It's happening, you know? And I just kind of ran after it like the way I did fighting. I'm like I trained for it. I work out at it. I'm like, it's like you guys with comedy. It's like, you know, I was telling somebody about comedy. They're like, oh, well, they just go up and they're just naturally funny.

And go, the motherfuckers work. Like, they call it working out. Like, every day, they're burning up their gas tanks, trying to get four different sets on for five minutes a piece all over town. Like, it's like, it's different than what anybody looks. You know, and I think that's the beauty of those things, too. It's like, everything that people are excellent at is way different when you're inside it than when you're looking at it as a spectator, you know?

And I guess I just never liked being a spectator, you know, so I'm in it, you know. And it's dope. It's dope. I'm really grateful. You just opened up a question I wanted to really ask. And we have friends that are affected by this. I just want to ask you this just for, you know, when we met, you were a skinny fighter, blah, blah, blah, blah, bah.

You came up, you moved up here, you really worked hard for where you're getting that. But the situation happened, you got on the ultimate fighter. Right. And he came to you and he asked you if you wanted to fight, and you said no, because you saw it for what it was. How happy are you about that decision today? You know, it's weird.

I said a while ago to somebody, like, um, You know, what appeared, what I thought of at the time was my biggest failures that turned into my biggest assets later, you know, and it's like, with this life, it's like I don't see the big scope of it. I don't see the big picture, but I just kind of, you know, you know, you go with everything that you know, I guess, that you've, like, whether all the people he meet and every experience you've ever had, and it all culminates into this thing, and you have an intuition, and then you let that guide you at that time.

At that time, when I said, no, like, I was really disenfranchised with it, but there's, like, three of us out in the waiting room, I go, listen, they're going to call me in. I don't give a fuck about this. Like, the only guy I want to fight here is Ken Shamrock. This is all bullshit. And, like, I said, I'm just, like, I'm done. Like, I'm about to stab somebody in here. And I said, if you guys want to scrap, though, you want to really make a run for this, let me know. And both the guys that were sitting out with me, like, yeah, yeah. And then I go, okay, then I'm going to take myself out of it. And I go, okay. And so I did that. And then, I don't know what happened when they were in the room, but, like, that, I think neither of them

took that fight either. About, I kind of, you know, I've got things like back and forth. Like, I miss all that too, you know, for sure. But it's, I think it's the thing about putting things away in your life and starting the next thing, especially stuff that has a time period for sure. You fucking saw something. And I want to know, the question is, what did you see? Was it a personal decision?

Were you really scared of the brain damage? Did you think there was more to life? You know, I always tell people, and this is where I got this saying from. not because of tape, but when it comes to tape, I always tell us to people. There's two things. It's better to want than to have sometimes with some people. And sometimes that's why I remember we were fucking around Atlanta,

and I took Dunkin' Assignment, we made that tape. And my key words, before you get into this, I want you to really think about what you're getting yourself into because it gets swooped up fast. One minute you were doing neck bars at 10 planet, the next minute you're on a fucking show. Okay, and how fast did it happen? Bam, bam, bam!

You know, it's like, bam, and all of a sudden, you saw something. It wasn't that you were a pussy, and you didn't want to fucking fight, because you'll strangle anybody in any given time, and I've seen it. It's not about that. You saw something, Tate, and today, 10 years later, I kind of applaud you. Well, thanks. Because today, you wouldn't be where you were if you kept fighting. And I'm not telling you this, because you weren't a good fighter.

Right. I'm telling you this was going into a different direction. For sure. It's gone into a different direction. I see all this different, you know, and nobody's, you know, and nobody's. happy with the UFC. No. At this point, nobody.

No. Nobody. The fighters and people around, they want to do a union. Did you foresee this? Did you... For sure. I mean, ever since I first started, I was like, we got to have a fighter's union.

Like, this doesn't work. And I started looking at guys that were like, this was their whole life. And it's like... And when it becomes that, like, and you're in poverty. Like, that's not a good play. It's not a smart play.

And then you're going to diminish your... Your cognition also, like, that you're in a fuck spot. But, like, what I saw was like, and Dana White told me a story. And he goes, you know, I came in. I was a fighter. And then I started managing guys. And I started looking at the fighters.

They were ahead where I was. And they were already punching. And they weren't really maybe going to go anywhere. And I was behind them. And what was I doing anymore? And then I started looking at everybody in the UFC. And I go, you know, and at that time, we had longer careers. But, like, right now I think it's like 16 months or something.

It's like almost nothing, like, for an average career of an MMA fighter in the UFC. and um but who is perpetual well herb dean was always there he ruffed a bunch of my fights john mccarthy um so those guys are there and then the ring girls are there but they're new fighters every three months and it's like those guys are just thrown away but you do put your whole life into it and so i put my whole life into this thing that was going to have an empty return later now i say that i'm completely fucking grateful for every i never did it as a career i did it because there was an expression of me as an artist that i wanted to be able to exact inside a cage and in those walls.

And I love the camaraderie and the fellowship of all the brotherhood of what fighting is, you know, in the gym and all my brothers at Jackson's and Winklejohn's MMA and everybody that touched me and formed me there as a man and I want to be who I was without it. However, to continue on with it would mean that I was going to forego any future life that I had because, like at the top levels, I'm mediocre, you know, and so what does that look like? And I see the guys that I look up to and I'm like, those guys aren't fighting. fighting for a belt yet. And I'm like, and I'm late in the game. And so when the opportunity to go back into film work came up, I was like, maybe this is the thing. Because the only time I ever felt

alive when they're like, are you ready? Are you ready? And then we fight. The only time I ever felt that is when somebody sold action. And when they do that, and it's yours to fuck up and it's like, and you're all dialed. And it's like, okay, let's go and see if I can make this moment work for everybody. And so I just, I ran after that, just like that, man. And I was like, you got to, you know, I've only been back into Jackson's Gym once since then, and it's so uncomfortable because you want to spar and you want to go in and you want to, you want, like, I've got all those things in me still, but it's like a, it's a, I exercise a bit of denial with it. Like, I got to deny myself certain things so other things can happen. I think it's just like a maturing man. You've got

to ask yourself, who are you now? Who are you that you're not the best football player in in college? Or who are you now that you're not this? Or who are you now? You're not the fighter guy. Who are you not? Like, who are you underneath what you do, who you are, what's in your pocket and all that shit and like that's a scary fucking question most guys never at most guys run from that question they don't want to know any of that and i've been forced in positions where i'm like i've to ask myself that question a lot and so you get okay with yours you know you go well fuck man this where's at you know and you got you know like without guys like you like you know and like rogan and fucking a bunch of my friends around like i got these pillars around me that are like

that are balancers that are diffusers of all the bullshit and everything and and things get distilled in the purity where you can see life clearly for what it is and for what matters and who you are outside of the midst of all the bullshit and trappings, you know? And that's the stuff that is like, you know, like, what makes me me is you, you know? Like, it's like, to me, it's like that, you know, because without that reflection, I don't, I get lost in it. It's funny, you were with me when I still had my addiction in a fucking bad way and we'd talk about it. And I was thinking about the time I went to Austin and I got the coke from that crazy guy and I gave something that to Brian and he got caught in the bathroom snort.

And they threw them out of the bathroom or something. But I'm thinking about how big you have to be. Like when I was 60, one of my biggest heartaches is when I had to come to the conclusion I was when I played high school ball. At the end of my freshman year, I knew what time it was. I knew how good I was. I knew how I knew what I could do, but I also knew the system around me was going to be a little harder than what I anticipated.

I didn't anticipate this. You know, I was watching the making of Wish You Were Here. Okay. And have a cigar is about there not being happy with the entertainment. Come on in and have a cigar, you're going to go far. Right. You're going to fly high. You're never going to die.

You're going to make it if you try. I mean, he broke, he just, you know, and they asked him, they like that. That time, all we want to do was play. But they wouldn't let us. You know, they wouldn't let us. It had to be bigger. We want a bigger production. We want bigger lights.

And all they want to do is fucking play. And there comes a time. you take control of your life. You took control of your life at that moment in front of day and a one. It all clarified and people lived their whole fucking life and they'll never do that.

I still remember coming to the conclusion like May of 78, like, holy shit, I'm not going to play high school college ball. I had such a hard time in my freshman year. I can see this is going. I'm not part of the Boys Club. And that fucking killed me for years

deep down inside because in the way I quit, it. Right. But all I was doing was making my life easier. You know, though, too, I think we want to believe that we could be the best at anything. Like any human, anywhere could be the best at whatever, if they put their mind to it. Like, it's the American fucking, let's get in there and do it. We can do it, make it happen. But that shit's not true. There's people that are fucking highly gifted that'll never make it because they don't work very hard. But those that are highly gifted that work hard, you're never going to catch up to that guy. Like you're never going to, like, and that's one of the things that, too, I started looking at.

I'm like, I love this ability to do the thing that I love doing, this art that I love doing. That being the case, what's really distilled here also is that there's not the time or talent within me at this point to be a champion. Like I see who all the time, I see Anderson Silva dance like that. And I'm like, okay. Like that's, he moves different than me or whatever. And so I go, so you get to be a journeyman fighter kind of. You get to be, you get to be a prize fighter that isn't going to. how good is that after you know like so for everybody that's had 10 fights they've had 10,000 wars in the gym

like and and I'm and and I've been knocked out a couple times by that point and I was like I just can't I just I can't good conscience puts myself here like I was kind of I feel like you know I mean I was pulled from prison and pulled from death when I was a kid and uh and to be and and like and I started thinking about family and I go I've got a responsibility to my mother like I've got all these I'm like this I don't know what that is but I know that this isn't going to take me there. Did you see what Shogun Rua got paid? We paid $5 grand for that fight.

Is that what? Could you imagine like putting in all that work? Shogun Rua got $5 grand? I'm almost positive. I can't believe it. That's crazy. Yeah. And listen, man, $70 million, 4th of July.

Yeah. And people got $5,000. $7 million at the door. And look at, like, you see Big Nog walk out in that fight? You can see the brain damage on the guy when he's walking out to the fight? He's had brain damage for the last five. And so check this. So he doesn't have any money saved.

He's one of the most popular guy, multiple champion in the UFC and pride. And that's the things I'm looking at. And I'm looking at that. And that motherfucker still has nothing. And after he stops fighting, after he stops earning, he'll really have nothing. And a diminished capacity to where people can only put him around like a puppet. And be like, yeah, we have this guy before the candle of his fame extinguishes completely because there's going to be another 30 guys in the next two years that are bigger,

names than that. And that's the sad facts of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. So I got... So, uh, Rua got 10 grand. He got five to show him. Holy shit. Antonio got five. Um, let's go down. Stefan's Drew got 10 and Nogarra got 10. Antonio Silva got five. I don't even understand what you're saying to me right now. I know it's crazy. It's fucking crazy. I mean, some of the lower ones got 2,500. It's funny crazy. Does it say what Rhonda got? Yeah.

40 grand. It's got to be, Reebok's got to be paying them all a note then, right? Like, or I don't know how that works. But those are the funniest numbers I ever heard. Five grand, that means you're really taking home 2,800. After you paid J-Jitsu, your fucking corner. And that's the other thing, too, is all these guys, they don't know how to pay taxes.

Here's a check. Good luck at the end of the year when the taxman wants his. I made $400 grand this year. No, you didn't. You better save $1.80. What $180? To pay the tax man when he's coming.

You know what I mean? I'm just saying what one is. Yeah, that's the best thing. I know that if I was still snorting Coke, I would have been a journeyman comic. And I didn't want to be a journeyman comic. When I see a journeyman comic,

it bothers me. A journeyman comic is a guy that headlines here, features here. I just did Columbus with a guy that's been headlining for 30 years. Now he's opening for me. That's when I quit. Yeah. That's when I get out of the bit. That's a journeyman comic.

And that's the thing about being proactive like that. Yeah, you feel what I'm saying. As soon as I stopped doing blow, I kicked it up to different levels. You know, I became a headliner. I was doing comedy all those years, but I wasn't no headline. That's a big difference. Right. And you see Joe and Greg Haraldo and their headliners.

They have a beginning, a middle, and an ending. And they have a message. And they're taking it to different places. And then you go from these little rooms to a fucking real comedy club and then to a theater. And the fighting and the comedy to me is a lot of the same. Same, same. I watch it and I know when you go to a, when you don't see a guy for a year and you go to a comedy club and you're excited. He does the same set he did the year before.

It's me when I watch a fighter and he's still just throwing that same leg kick. Tito and Stefan Bonner and Bellator earlier. We're like, really? So this is still happening, huh? Okay. No, no leg kick. Nothing new. Not a double jab.

You didn't even throw up a double jab. Just work on a double jab for me. If I see a double jab three times, you ever watch a fight, and the guy keeps throwing a kick and it's not working? Darius, on Sunday, on Saturday. He threw a flying knee. He threw a thousand fucking flying knees. Darius, give it a fucking breather with the flying knees.

After the fourth one, they're not working, Dariush. He sees him fucking coming. That's all. A little light, you know, I was watching my man up in San Francisco. who I love, the guy that Rossamea Palmaris, he's got the worst leg kick in the world. It's like when Mercy kicks me and runs away. It's like a little, and it runs away.

Really, you're going to show up with that fucking leg kick. A leg kick is supposed to make that leg red or leave your leg in there. Don't even put it out if you're going to do that. If we're just going to sit there and tap each other, leave the leg in because you're fucking bothering the shit out of me. It's true. Leave the leg in. You're not doing that with that little tap.

You should be in their corners. Unless you're going to blast me, blast me. But why are you throwing up a leg? How good would that be to have Joey be the corner guy for these guys? How good? You know, I'm from a different set of fighting. You're eluding and you're fucking waiting to set him into your fucking trap. It's like my man Rashad Evans says,

once Greg Jackson told him, I want to hear them boo. Yeah. I want to hear them booing. That's when you know you're doing your job. You stick them to your fucking game plan. Fuck them. Yep. You're sucking him into your fucking world.

Every fight is different. When I see a fucking preview, and I hear this, you know, it's going to go back and forth but my power your power is shit ask Joe Lozahn you're going to throw a punch you might clip him in the jaw

but you're going to momentous and keep going to take your fucking power and break your fucking elbow what power are you talking about? Power then they're sitting there throwing these fucking bombs for two hours and you're sitting there board to pieces like you deserve to lose your buck

you deserve to fucking lose same thing with comedy you know writing to me is like working on your back that's it nobody wants to work on That's tremendous power. Who needs Jiu-Jitsu? There you go. You need Jiu-Jitsu.

Now you're drowning. Now you're down on the ground and you're dead to the pier. Why no half guard? And I know Eddie taught me a lockdown. So crazy, dude. It's fucking crazy. And you're getting into the ring. I wouldn't go into a UFC ring unless I was a second-degree black belt.

And I have been doing Jiu-Jitsu every day since I was five. You know, it's crazy, too. I was thinking about people like, people put all this emphasis, like, that, you know, that guys are awesome at J-Jitsu if they're, in the UFC or something like that. But you think about you reel it back, a lot of those guys were not blue belts. Like, Clay Guita started, his jiu-jitsu is not a blue belt.

Like, at the beginning of his career, goddamn George St. Pierre would walk out in a purple belt. You know what I mean? Like, that's where he was at when he was a champion, which is crazy. He got promoted throughout the years because he was a champion a long time. But it's, you know, there's a, there's a lot of, it's a different game. It's a different game.

And if you get lost on the ground, man, you are lost. You can see the guys that know and that capitalizing. A lot of 10th Planet guys capitalizing it now, you know. See my outman Kakuey and he's fucking, you know, like you're in trouble. If you trip and stumble, oh, you are in trouble. You're in trouble. He's going to strangle you, you know, and that's just how it's going to go.

But there's other guys, you go to the ground and you're like, they feel safe. They're resting there, you know. It's funny that I went to Houston's ready way before I knew any of the terminologies and shit. He was just one day going to be in Eddie. You know, Eddie being Eddie, Eddie just dropping knowledge. And he was telling me, and this has to be 10 years ago,

because I still lived in Hollywood. I lived here, yeah, this has to be 2006. And he was telling me how you really need to learn how to fight your back now the next five years in Jiu-Jitsu. But a bunch of wrestlers are coming in, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah. And I really started listening to him. I'm like, you got a point there.

And these wrestlers will take you down all fucking day long. I mean, you look at why Chuck Liddell was successful Because he could stop a take Because he knew how to wrestle People are like, oh, he could just, he's a striker No man, he is a fucking championship wrestler Like, he's a fantastic wrestler That's why he's still on his feet

Because the guys coming at him are savages Like, you know, you watch Jeremy Horner Only wanted to take him down, guys couldn't take him down, you know? That's my all-time favorite. Yeah, Chuck? Till this day. He's amazing. So this day, I look at this Connor McGregor

and I look at half these guys and I go, you know what, they don't have half the class Chuck did. Half the class, honest to God. Chuck made me get skinny. Chuck made me join Kempo Karate. That's, you know, and I would never talk. You guys know me, though.

I don't fucking give a fuck. I never said a word to him until about two years ago. After you retired, I just go, hey, man, I want to tell you something, you're my all-time favorite. If I was to have a post on an MMA guy, he was at Ten Planet with Einstein. And he goes, really? and I go, man, I like everything about you.

Yeah. Everything about you. And I miss you. To be honest, I miss you. You're a fucking... He's an icon, man, for sure. And he's a, you know, and a family guy like him and his girl, Heidi, his wife is... She's the sweetest thing.

And the way he takes care of his kids, man. I mean, you see him around and it's just like... He's about it, man. I've seen him on the way in with a baby stroller. Yep. With the cutest pet baby stroller with flippers on and fucking... Toes, pants. Toes painted.

And I'm like, this motherfucker. And he came over and gave me a hug. I mean, just a hell of a nice guy. He was crazy. He had the perfect attitude when he was fighting. I loved everything about him. Every time I heard a drunk story or him falling asleep on an interview. Everything I heard, I always was like, you know what?

I love that motherfucker. And when he started getting knocked out, I hate it. I got to be honest, I fucking hated it. Well, but even him, bro, he come up to my gym in Santa Fe. We're talking. We're doing sprints. to the little wrestling and like and it was like is before his last knockout I guess and he says you know Dan just wants me retire he's really pushing me but it's like we're driving around in his

Ferrari and like like man you're living like this like everything goes away it evaporates for me like if I don't have paychecks I need like three more years of paychecks I got kids to take care I got I got I got planning to do then I haven't that I'm not into you know and and and uh and then I think he fought again and he got a and then he got a great job as a exact with the UFC you know kind of that UFC welfare that they do to some of the real special guys that are out there, but he...

Well, they're going to give no Gary in the front office. Dana White said he's going to give him no Gary a job in the front office. Yeah, he said at the press conference, you got to stop. You got to stop. Good. I was watching that, dude, and I was hoping.

I was like, this, you can't have, you can't even have those as fights anymore. If you want to look, if you want this sport to grow and have people be like, yes, this is something that's viable and I want to see, you got to stop the guys. from fighting still. You can't, we can't have Vandrlea,

so we'll have a fight again. We can't have Shogun, even as good as he looked, man. That's a downward spiral. We can't, you don't want to see guys after their egg is cracked. Do you know what I mean?

And it's like, and that becomes the thing is like, who are you after that happens? And nobody wants to stop fighting. I mean, you see guys like Ken Shamrock, you think he wants to fight anymore? No, that poor guy, he just doesn't know how to do anything else,

and his ego's so messed up. It won't allow him to be anything else, so he'll fight for $500 on TV to get his name up a little bit. And it's like, that's insane. You're allowing guys that aren't smart enough to have self-preservation as a gene inside them to go ahead and make choices to diminish themselves more. And if you don't care about the human as he is the same human as me as you and we are all connected,

if you don't care about that because you're so disconnected, then God damn it care about your brand, whether it's Bellator, UFC or whatever, care about your brand enough to go, if I have these guys and they stay too long, it's going to really tarnish my brand. Because it does. A hundred percent. Well, a lot of people want, like, a lot of people want to see a rampage fight. Sure.

I'm a fan of MMA, and I got to be honest with you, I like Rampage. I don't want to see him fight. How about this? The last five fights would just nonexistent. What if we didn't see Chuck's last three fights, and he just walked away the killer that he, you know what I mean? What if you never saw the pedestal get knocked away from B.J. Penn? You know what I mean? It's like, there's stuff like that.

Be a Hickson. Be a icon forever. You know, it's not that Hickson's unbeatable, but that man's a living ghost spirit. story because you know what he walked away at the right time but nobody walks out of the casino in time nobody nobody I did not dream of doing stand-up at the age of 52 I will tell you this this was not on my fucking

future map this was not my own personal question but imagine if every time you got up on stage that your diction got a little less that your cadence or that your memory that you forget words imagine every time it was just a little bit less your timing was a little bit off so you're getting worse and worse that's a motherfucker. That's a motherfucker.

You know, getting old is a motherfucker. I just don't want to be that guy at 70 up there doing dick jokes and getting a fucking night and people like patting me. In 1985,

I did a movie, I don't want to be that. I never wanted to be that fucking guy. That's the same. You're the same as me, dude. When I used to see guys like John Fox, rest in peace,

who I'm not talking bad about, it would fucking put the fear of God in me because that's where I always had a tape. When we were in Austin that time, and you guys were lifting, and I went to the pool. Right. You still remember that. Did you ever think we'd be sitting across from each other ten years?

You didn't think I was going to live? No. My drug problem at 2006 and five. Once I did the longest yard, that was it. People have no idea what happened to me. I'd go home, dude, after, like, when we'd go to the hotel and we'd have plans like, oh, yeah, we'll go meet or we'll meet up to grab a coffee. When we're here?

No, no, when we were traveling on the road together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, it was always a thing. I'm like, you know, like, I hope he's okay, you know? Because, like, you check out. Like, your obligation's done. Not answering the phone anymore, not doing their, like, all plans. Horrible.

And I know, and then I got an inkling of what's happening. And I'm like, fuck, man, you know? Because you can't say nothing. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to talk to nobody. No. It was in my pocket already. I would not do it before I went on stage, especially around Joe.

I never wanted Joe to see him. Joe saw me high one night. 19 and he was heartbroken guys. This is before he started smoking pot, which he did not understand the drug world. His friend... What a crazy thing. He didn't start smoking pot until 36, 36, 37?

He didn't start smoking pot until 2000, 2000. No, 2000, 9-11. He was smoking pot, 9-11. But I still remember one night I called him, and he told me he wasn't coming down. And I went to the union, which was next to where Dane Cook became a star. Okay.

The union was first. It was I met Ahmed's room. Then Josh Wolfe and I met Ahmed booked it. And the guy from Swingers hung out in there so girls would come. So it became a scene. So Tuesday nights, it was a great fucking room. I mean, every comic that liked pussy would beg you to get on

because it was a fucking pussy on room. Not for me. I didn't pick up no pussy there. I was broke. I go down there and get like a gram of blow and we drink for free. But I remember. But one night, I got fucking tanked in there.

Oh, my God. I was jawing. I could feel the jaw going. It was 10.30, and I walked out in front of the union. And there's Joe Rogan with the Supra. This is the silver supra. The Accura, yeah. No, no.

The Supra. I know Joe, when he had the Supra, which he sold for like 500 bucks, you guys know, to a comic. Really? He felt bad. He goes, just give me 500 bucks. That's how good of a guy joking. Then, this is when he was on news radio.

And I had to have a conversation on him, and I remember him looking at me, and I could see the disappointment in his face. And I kept trying to look the other way and light a cigarette, so he wouldn't see my jaw. And the people were like, come with us in the car. And he kept saying, no, no, you're coming with me. And we went to coaching horses. And he watched me like the rest of the night.

I couldn't even go do another bump. But I was never so embarrassed. And then he brought it up. like maybe two months later or something. So I said, that's it. When Joe's around, because he loves me and he's my friend, I respect for him, I'm not going to drink or do a bump. There was nights I went out with him, and I had a grandma blow in my pocket.

Burning a hole in your pocket. Burn a hole in my pocket. And I'd see everybody else doing bumps, and he'd tell me, look at that guy doing coke. Yeah. Look at that fucking idiot doing coke. I go, oh, no. He just, you know, he's one of those special guys that you always wish you could be like

where it's like, he can see that. like that shit doesn't help you in your life. Why would you do that? But we all do shit that doesn't help us. We're all in our own way to some extent. But not Joe. Like Joe's the most clear out of his way, out of almost maybe anybody I know as far as that kind of thing goes.

He's like, that would impede the future me? Why would I do that? It's fucking powerful to be around them, you know? And it's no fucking coincidence either. You know, when you look at the original crew of like, it's funny what Death Squad is now. Eddie was saying something to me the other day about Death Squad.

He's like, who are these fucking nerd comments? He's like, Death Squad is like, what the fuck? He's like, it's you, me, Joey, and that's it. Ari. And Ari, right? And so that original crew, you, me, Duncan, Ari, Red Band, Joe, like, and you look at what's happened, you know? I look back on a lot of friends that I've had throughout the years, and it hasn't been like an upward, upward climb for a lot of guys. but fucking all of us fucking you know thank the gods and knock on wood or whatever like that that thing about being distilled enough where you work hard you're creative and you're about fucking helping people and bringing other people up all of us are in a fucking in a spot that's like magical that I could have never imagined I mean it's like I look at it I'm like this doesn't see I don't know how this is real and so the other thing about like yeah Dana I don't think so is like I couldn't have seen where that like all the turns that I took that I took that

were rights instead of left, it wouldn't have brought me here. You know what I mean? And so it's like, I don't regret a goddamn thing because everything took me to where I am here. And I feel like I'm the most useful and purposeful to my communities and those around me where I am today. You know, and fuck, what's better than that? Because at the end of the day, whether, you know, it's my truck or my fucking house or my whatever, all that shit goes away. All goes away. Who you fucking touch in your life and who touches your heart? That marks you forever, man. That's on your soul forever. And thank God it is. You know, I think that. that's what immortalizes us.

That's what makes us bigger than human and a part of a bigger woven fabric than we could ever be alone. And like that whole thing about, you know, judging others or comparing myself or this or that. It's like, it's not like me getting better than or worse than anything. The thing that sucks about that is when I think I'm different than you, it separates me from you.

And it isolates me in that lie. And the fucking truth is, is like, the only goodness that I've ever felt in life is when I felt like fucking right together and dialed in with somebody else. You feel like you're held in the palm of the universe. It's weird.

He came on, I came off stage again. He was waiting for me at the store. Yeah. And we went to the back to the lounge. And he was like, you know what I was thinking? He goes, Kennison and Dice and all those people. That was a great time at the comedy store. But fuck them.

Because they were all at war. Yep. He goes, we came up together and we all support each other. And they're going to be talking about this for a long time. This is really right now. is the classic age of comedy. I mean, you call any comedy club on a Saturday night, and they're packed.

You know, people are in touch with comedy more than ever. Through these podcasts, my friend Brian Morton runs a Chicago Laugh Factory. It's always packed on Friday and Saturday with open micers. He doesn't even use names in that. But he knows how to reach the fucking people, Tom, it's going to be a great show. It's amazing what's going on with comedy. And don't you think the difference is scarcity versus, like, a sense of opulence?

Like, like, what you're talking about, out at the stores like like I've seen some of the migration from that old mindset to the new and a lot of those older guys are falling off that aren't with it because the thing is is they're like if you're doing good then that means it's it's as if they're so fucking crazy it's as if there's only so much laughter if you get too much the laughter there won't be more laughter out of that audience for me to get and so I don't want you to do well and they're against each other and that shit doesn't happen it you know listen when you do comedy and you cheer against people you know you know when you do comedy and you cheer against people you're against people you're against people you're against you're against me and you're against me and you're people. It comes back and it fucking bites you in the ass. I cheer for everybody. The other night, Michael Costa was on late, late, late night on some fucking NBC. I never heard. I taped it. And I watched it. Why? Because Michael fucking follows me and I follow him at the store all the time. How good friends of my with Michael Costa. Hello and goodbye. I don't know him at all. But I sat there and cheered for Michael Costa because I know I'm cheering for myself. Hell yeah. It's like when you watch me go, I hope that motherfucker breaks their fucking ankle.

Yeah. Listen, man, I'm a Santa Ria guy. And one of the real strength of Santa Ria is like, you know, whacking people, whatever. I never used that. I never, when I was raised right in Santeria. My godmother was old school Cuban. And she used to go, when you put energy out like that,

nine of the ten, let's say it works. Let's say it's tape, that slip, and break us fall or whatever. Right. You know what? You're going to break your leg or something's going to happen to you eventually because that comes around. Or the way it's, seems like for me is like I end up you end up putting that on me I break my leg and then I'm the

only one that's coming along when you've fallen off a cliff and you need a hand and I don't have the leg that it takes to pull you up or whatever it's like amazing and it's like that whole thing that's what I mean about like there's not a separation in us we're the fucking same unit you have to cheer I don't worry about what this guy's doing or what that guy's doing it's got nothing to do with me and I knew this 10 years ago I made these correlations over the year less and less you know the happiness I got was That one day I said, I'm not doing coke again. Until this day, I remember cocaine and I go, I don't know how I got rid of that happen. I don't know, Tate.

There was no rehab. There was no, I don't know what it was. Yeah, it was the cat. The cat. I didn't want my friends to, I didn't, there were so many reasons why I got clean. I mean, I didn't want to, I broke a promise. I didn't want to break a promise to the cat. I didn't want my wife to find me on the floor.

But most importantly, I didn't want people going up to Joe and Eddie and Tate and Ari and going, I told you so. I told you so. I told you so. Fuck you. You know what? Not not like, yeah, it was, oh yeah, he died. It's no real surprise. Right.

You know what I mean? And it's like, I'd rather live longer and be like, what? Like everybody looks at me from high school or from whatever and they're like, that's a surprise. You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't supposed to end up like this. I'm in five-point restraints. I'm fucking, I'm not anywhere near where I, like, that's not where I'm supposed to be. How old are you not taking?

Uh, 42. And you graduated at high school, you were a complete different individual. Yeah, I did graduate, and, uh, and yeah, man, I was, I mean, the whole thing in, in, like, I guess when I was 21 or something like that, like, in, in, on that bank robbery back in the day and fucking, like, like, just a criminal, like, from, and kind of not caring and not really thinking, like, things could be different. I was just like oh, this is just who I am and whatever, I'll just ride it, you know, whatever, and I'm not even mad.

Like, uh, but none of that shit was true, you know, is what turns out. Like, it's like, I had this story about myself that I'd been buying for a long time and, uh, that hadn't been true in a long time, but I was still telling myself the same story. Like, you're a loser. You're never going to do nothing. And,

and all this shit over and over again playing in my head. It wasn't until I was fucking sober for a long time. I'd already been in the ultimate fighter and fucking UFC. was undefeated in a bunch of fights for a long time, and I'd been a leader put together groups for SWAT and fucking DEA and recon fucking hand-to-hand combat shit. And, like, I've been a forerunner and all this shit. And it's like I was someone, like, I'd grown into something different,

but I still had that same story. And it wasn't until just a few years ago where I was like, I'm not that person. The way you feel about yourself and what's true is fucking different. You need to get correlative. That story doesn't really define me anymore. It doesn't define me anymore. That's who I might have been.

Sure. I mean, listen, I still remember thinking of ideas to do with my life and saying, it doesn't really matter because I'm a piece of shit. I never, I'm never getting, thinking of coming to L.A. I mean, that's why I love Biggie. Right? I mean, like, when you, when you listen to him, like, he's like, like, he gets that shit. You know what I mean? it's like

he kills himself on tape and he's just like I'm just tired of it and that's the thing after you when you choose a life that beats you down so much and you think oh it's just my circumstance so I'm going to ride it but you don't make different choices outside of that life you'll stay there it beats you down to where you're like that's desperation that's not giving a fuck

like yeah I don't like losing tape I don't like fucking something having control I got locked up and when I walked out of those I was like This ain't ever going to happen to me again. A man having control over me. Wake up, go to bed. No way.

Turn the lights, kick your bed. I didn't like the control of the cocaine had over me. That's like being in prison. It was my, it was a prison. It was my first daughter the day. How is this going to get handled tonight? Well, I got $21. What do I need to do tonight?

I need to eat. I need to buy a bag of refa. You know what? I need to come up with another $80. And that was your mission. Once you got the 80, then you relax. Now it's on to what's important in my life. What's not important?

I have to write. comedy, have to write jokes. You know, that always came for a second. Well, and also, what else does? Rent, cell phone bill, all that shit, you're like, no, no, this is the thing that must happen. I got to get my dope money. Then outside of that, we'll see if we can keep the rent going and shit.

What are the pieces for? That was crazy. Let's see where the piece is for. Maybe I'll pay the cell phone, only to give them as 40, you know, leave it out. And always a weird hope, like, almost a knowledge, like, I'll wing it, man, I'll freestyle it, and then this will work out.

you're like you were making horrible decisions about this working out take no no it'll be fine it'll be fine I know I'm like in 87 I was such a criminal and I was so coked up that I would I heard a story once why I didn't hear the story I knew for a fact that a lot of people would bundle coat right and don't get 80 kilos but take 40 bundle it up and hold on to them somewhere and they put like an old lady in that house and then a guy three blocks up with a shotgun watching the house and I remember I would drive through neighborhoods in Colorado like not Boulder but

lions shit up in the mountains and in my head I go ooh that looks like a coke house Longmont and shit Longmont No even no no even the other way Like the other way I would go wow that house has cocaine

Like in my mind I was gonna break into the house Because there was coke And one that I actually went through a house And was like kids and white people And they were playing the fucking piano And I'm like see The addiction was making me think

this shit. Like it was plain. The addiction had me. It fucking had me. And I get it's so weird the last three weeks I'm getting a lot of emails from people going. We're in a bad place and the podcast is helping me and I, one of the emails I asked. These are beautiful emails you get. Oh my God and I said to myself what's a bad place? What was a bad place for me?

Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, a bad place. I was in a bad place for fucking years. Yeah. Like I said, Tate, you don't know what happened to me after the longest yard because on the longest yard they blew smoke up my ass. Sure. So I thought once the longest yard was going to get released. Your career is on. It was on. Yeah.

And nothing happened. And I'm sitting there going, when the fuck is my phone going right? Right. And I finally, I remember going into a, Fox called me in for a pile and going this is the one. And I was this crazy character that drank and did drugs. So what did I do? I snorted cooked away in the fucking morning. And I walked in there at 11

and the lady was like, can I talk to you? She goes, listen, you're in no condition. I never forget this. I never told nobody this. She goes, you're in no condition to read for this. She goes, what, you didn't get no sleep? I said, I don't know. I'm in great conditions.

She goes, all right, go in there and read it. And I read it, and it was so bad. And I left like a white. That's that cocaine's got such a problem because it gives you that confidence. When you have no right thinking that you should be confident, like you've done nothing to make yourself. This guy was a bumble neighbor, like with a beard and like a hole in his t-shirt and like pistons

and his sweatpants What do you think I wore the audition? Sweep pants with a piece thing A white t-shirt. Authentic. With fucking holes in it and my hair all fucked up and oh my God

I'll never forget walking out of there going I gotta do something about this drug problem. Yeah. This is fucking killing me. This is tricking me into fucking... Well and it's like Groundhog Day, right? It's like that's not the worst day ever. But it's like, here I am living the same fucking day.

It's different wallpaper and shit. But it's the same fucking day is when I'm 12 years old. or whatever and I'm a grown man. What am I fucking doing with my life? What was the last time you did a drug thing? Was in 1994. And you still work with kids and stuff like that on the side?

Yeah, all that shit. That's the thing that keeps me close to it, you know? Like, I try to stay on the front line of it so that I remember it because easily life can get too good. You know, they talk about like recovery and they go, you know, recovery is so great to get, like, recovered from drugs and booze and all that. But, like, recovery will take you away from staying recovered. You know, like, you'll go out into places where it's like recovery don't exist.

You know, like, so it's kind of on me to keep myself present to it. And so, yeah, I, you know, like, I think that's the rule, joy, right? It's like, you help where you can help, you know. And I love that story about, like, there's a kid, there's a kid, you know, because there's fuck, you know, there's so much to help. It's like, you look at dogs. They euthanize how many dogs a day and all that stuff and cats. And, like, fuck, you can't save them all, you know what I mean?

And there's a story a dude told me, he goes, when I asked him why he's helping me, you know, And he goes, you hear about this old white businessman down in Mexico, and he gets up early, and there's been a storm the night before, and the beach is all littered with stuff, and the sun's coming up, and he's walking down, and he sees a kid, and the kid's flailing, and he thinks he's dancing or something maybe, and he goes down, and he gets closer, and the kid's reaching down and throwing shit in the ocean, and there's just starfish that have washed up all over the beach from the storm the night before. He gets up to the kid, he goes, what are you doing? The kid grabs one and whips it out in the ocean, and he goes, I'm saving the starfish. like clearly dummy and the guy's just like he's looking at him always like there are hundreds of

thousands of these you cannot possibly make a difference and he picks up another one he throws in he goes it made a difference to that one you know and that story it reminds me like you know a saying that masks said he says you know I might not touch a million people but I might touch one guy that touches a million people and I think that's the thing when you spread good you know when you really when I have your best interest in mind it fuck that's what what we're talking about right it helps everybody's best interest you know when you do better I do better like I need you to do better like and and when I get into that kind of a position in my thinking there's nothing about happiness I got no problems you got no fucking problems you know I sit home get depressed sometimes what do I do

when I do that you better go help somebody Tate you know that it's always my fault you lonely there's somebody more lonely call that dude up you'll be you won't be lonely and you'll be helping him you And it's like, so those are kind of the places where I find my answers in that is in that community. Making somebody's day. For sure, right? Just calling somebody and somebody up on Facebook. You see he's got a fucked up morning or something. I love that shit, too.

I love calling. Poor the lady at the drugstore or wherever. Like, she got to check out. It's like, man, if I can make her happy, that's nice, man. Like, the more people making her happy, the more people she's making happy. Lee knows I always tell African-American woman how good they live. No, I Lee. In front of my dad, yeah.

Huh? In front of my dad, remember sushi? We had a good time. Yeah. You were asking why you, like, were able to get clean. And, like, I've never been addicted to drugs, so I just don't know. But everything I've ever heard is, like, you were just ready. So it seems like for both, like, you were asking, like, maybe it was a cat, maybe it was this.

It just feels like you were just ready. And maybe the people who OD or something just never get to be ready. Like, they OD before they're ready. I would put a caveat on that, and I would say, I didn't. I got clean a thousand times. It's not cleaning up that's hard. It's staying that way. It's a complete different battle.

That's where the junkie has the trouble, right? And I didn't have the trouble. It was just hard to... Remember the costume lady on the... Think of the costume lady. There was an old woman from New York. Old. You could tell she was hot when she was 20 and 30.

She wore glasses. And one day we were talking. And I said to her, I don't know. We were smoking the tree. She goes, you fucking guys at the reefer. And I go, you never smoke? She goes, I smoke all the time more than you guys. Huh.

She goes, you know what's crazy? How crazy it is when you stop getting high. That's when you realize how crazy life is when you're looking at it now and you're not fucking high no more. You know, on the refo, I'm fucking scared to quit refus. Why? I try all the time. Really? What are you thinking is going to happen?

I just get in a bad mood. I just get in a bad mood. It's not like the blow and stuff. I don't miss the blow at all. I don't miss what came with it. I don't miss the people how to deal with. I don't miss any of that shit. I never liked the bar scene.

The bar scene was always rough for me, even when I did blow. Yeah, who wants to go there? Oh, I fucking hate it all. People that would be like that. I worked in nightclubs for a long time, and dudes were like, oh, is it hard for you to watch us all drinking and shit? I'm like, you all are not my choice of companions when I'm drinking. I will show you, you guys being taped.

Yeah. And I will show you motherfuckers tomorrow. My shit is, let me get in the hotel room and close the windows up, turn the TV on, hit mute, and I'm there. I'm good. Like, I don't need anything. Like, my life gets reduced. How much coffee do you do you do? To that.

A day? All fucking day. Between five and 15 cups. How do you sleep in that? Easy, good. Good. Oh, and I just bought this great bed that made it a huge difference. This is all caffeinated.

But I sleep like, I sleep crazy good. This is all caffeinated? Yeah. Okay. You don't fucking. around either. I don't decalph. We got some decap, but I don't have it. I've never tasted it. No, me neither. I don't know. I drink

straight up coffee before I go to bed at night and fall asleep an hour later. But I don't sleep. Since I haven't been doing it, the nights I don't do it, I can feel the difference. You feel the fucking different. Lee, how you feeling, brother? I'm way fucked up, but I'm good. How'd you get fucked up, Lee? We

split probably what, 700? No, it was 10 million. Now, Joe's got a bit about that now. Now, how do you know really how strong 10 milligrams is. Like everybody's got a different grading system. If you ever eat one and you're like, oh shit, okay, so that's 5 milligrams. You need the other one

and you can't get off the 4? I hear a 200 milligram one on Sunday night and I couldn't talk. There's an edible that you eat 200 that you can't fucking talk. Do you periscope at all? I got a shell of the morning joint. Every morning. Really? I smoke a joint with the fucking people.

I smoke a joint with the people. How long do you stay on? This depends every day. When the joint is finished. I smoke three bowls. I smoke two joints, a reef and one bowl of hash, just to fucking cover all the Arabs, everybody's all the business. I try to make everybody happy. I just started it like

maybe a week ago or something, two weeks ago. But it's fun as anything, and the people on there are dope, man. Very interesting. It's really cool. It's one of the best things they fucking made. The best. Yeah. And I like it. There was another one before that. What was it before that talk? They had one that, is it Miracad or some shit? Oh yeah. I

But it would go away, it would evaporate like Snapchat, right? I have no idea. That's a little about, I'm not that into the internet. There's that. And now, Steveo just did it on Facebook, so I think Facebook just got arrested. Yeah. But he streamed it on Facebook live, so I don't, I think they came out with one now. Facebook did?

They must have. He was protesting something, and he jumped off something and got arrested. SeaWorld is some shit. That was crazy. What are you going to fucking do? Everybody's protestant. Everybody's mad at something. Fucking chickens in a cage.

Chickens, I don't give a fuck. tell him. I don't give a fuck if you kick. I don't give a fuck if you kick the chicken. I was up with the story. I think it must have been there. I heard this. But they're like, you know, everybody's mad about Cecil.

And they're mad about all this stuff. And like, and that's gross or whatever. Just some dude just to snuff out a soul just because he wants a thing on his wall or whatever. But he's like, you're going to return on an animal planet. He's like, that's a goddamn slaughter show. That's a horror movie. Like you got hyenas that are fucking eating the buffalo like calf while it's still alive. guts are out and it's looking at it.

It is a fucking horror movie. It's a murder fest out there in the jungle. Like, that's just what it is. Talk to me about coffee. What made you get into coffee? Oh, shit. What's those pills over there? What's those pills?

Oh, these are old fucking, uh, old, uh, oxies that I had from, uh, years and years ago. Are they still getting good? I don't know. I haven't ever taken them. Let me get one. Let's split one with Lisa. I don't. Fuck out.

It's doing oxy cotton. Let's see the devil. No, they're, uh, they're, no, they're hydrocodones. Oh, they're like They're biking it. Yeah. How many? I don't want none of these.

These things are fucking killing for Joey. You know what? I'll take one tonight. I'll be sore. I'll get up in the morning like Slim Jim Park and McGoo. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, the coffee, I don't know, man. All that stuff.

You know, like, so you know how you're saying you got off the longest yard and you're like, oh shit, it's going to blow up now? And it doesn't. Like, I look at that with every job that I get. Like, nobody's more surprised than me when my phone rings. I'm like, oh, fuck. Right on, man.

It's still going. you know um and then the job found out i'm a bum yet that yeah the jobs that i get i'm like fucking really honored to be a part of i'm like it's fucking awesome you know like this this this this new show coming out that west world deal is gonna be fucking epic it's gonna be HBO's new huge series and like get to work with icons in the thing and like my whole shit has been like that and uh but i always figure i'm about to be unemployed like every time you know what it's like working in the business is like you got a job you're already looking for your next job because that job's going to end. It's got an expiration date on it. And so,

you know, so then I started, you know, me and a buddy, we made that microbrewero and then we did a Bloody Mary mix. And then I, all my breaking bad money, I've dumped into a bar with a buddy of mine in Dallas called Concrete Cowboy. And Concrete Cowboy is one of the hottest nightclubs in the country every fucking week. And we got one in Austin now and we'll open one in Houston shortly. And so got into that. Then the gym's going. And Heather, running that with a couple of my boys, Rubin and Nate. And Lorenzo came in. Lorenzo's one of my homeboys that I used to fucking know in the bar.

He used to sell dope in there a long time ago. And then he got pinched after he'd been out of the dope game for like five years, but some fucking crankhead that allegedly drove for some people or something and drove some, you know, they were like a mule for weed. And he did four years or something behind it on a conspiracy charge. No dope. No money. Just some crystal meth addict that, you know, like the way that, but the feds close on you,

they're like, you got 200 grand for a lawyer? Because we got a 96% close rate. So you want to do 15 years or you want to do four? And everybody cops a plea. It's the game, right? And so numbers don't lie, you know, and they got to keep the prison filled. So he, on a crime with no drugs, no money, and nobody getting harmed over alleged weed, he did that time.

But he put CrossFit on four different federal prison yards. that still go on today. And now he's one of my main coaches, Lorenzo Hernandez, and he's a bad motherfucker too. So it's like, I get to be around all those kinds of people. So that's going. And then me and Jardine, we've been training partners for a long time. And Lacey Mackey and I used to date.

And she's Tom Cruise's trainer, and she's a fucking bad motherfucker. She was a CrossFit Games athlete for a while. And then she's a trainer to the number one action star in the world. just got some props for doing Mission Impossible, but she's been with him for a while. And she and I love coffee, and so we started a little coffee truck and went to the little competitions,

jihisosos, competition, crossfit, whatever. And it was another big failure. And, you know, it was like right when I blew up Dave Asprey kind of with bulletproof and all that. And got him a bunch of notarider where Dave sending me emails going, thank you, I get to quit my regular job, man. This is awesome. Da-da-da-da-da.

And then he went crazy, of course. but so then Keith hits me up one day and he goes hey bro I met these guys too and they're on this they're like really coffee nerds like you except they're from Columbia and they're extradited or they're exiled from there they've been kidnapped a bunch their family owns a plantation coffee plantation down there and they live in Albuquerque now he says you got to meet him next time and come home so me and Lacey met him we went got high as fuck on that white gold when they just made us like and it's kind of like it's like a light coffee but it's like a high uh high caffeine content.

And so he's making as espresso shots and we're loopy fucking like it. I'd never been high off coffee like that before. And I go, man, we got to share this with people. Because like for the previous year, I was sharing like single origin, single estate coffees, what my favorites were. And I'd fucking take pictures of them, put them up. And then Twitter people would be like, hey, dude, here's mine. And they would send them to me.

They're like, what's your address? I'm like, I don't know if I want to get my address out on Twitter. But anyway, they would do that shit. And so that's kind of how it started. And so when we got this, I was like, dude, we, we, got to share this. We got to put up a web page or something and just share it. And I called up Dave actually. I said, hey man, I'm going to put up a web page. Love to do your shit. Our shit. He's like, no, no, no, that's competition. Things went away. Anyway, K-man coffee got built.

And we started making products. Then we got into cold brew. And then we got into nitrogen, you know, these little cans. We're going to get like 5,000 of these shipped to L.A. here shortly. But nitrogen-infused, cold brew. So our cold brew is brewed over like 16 to 18 hours. these they tell me are about three times the caffeine content of a Red Bull or some energy drink like that, which is they're dope and they're delicious. I never had a better coffee. And so that's kind of where coffee came from. There's a lot of caffeine that you guys are on three times Red Bull?

Listen, listen, Giggles. I need that. Listen. I need a lot of fucking things. So anyways, that was the whole deal. And like I just go, let's make it all work. And how can we all make it work for everybody? And so I get to, you know, people are like, how do you do all this shit?

And how do you get all this shit done? It's like, like, again, without community, without people, nothing. I got nothing. But like, you do shit. I'm like, I don't fuck with dummies. I only am around people that I love and care about and want to see them do great and that are smart and that can carry that torch. You know, there's a lot of people you want to see do great that won't work very harder that, you know, aren't really into it. And I'm not with those people.

I just don't, not that I don't love them, wouldn't want to carry them if I could. But I just don't have the time. You know what I mean? And as I get older, I go, there's only so many shopping days left before Christmas. You know what I mean? And you better shake the tree while you can. Maybe you only got 10 more years of being able to earn money at a really high rate right now. And right now it's just started to where I've been able to do that.

And I got plans. Like, fuck, I want to be on a billboard. I want to be, I want to, like, I got places I want to go in this career and in this life and what I, things I want to do, you know? And I think sitting on that stage, dude, I got that SAG Award for Breaking Bad and sitting there and fucking Bradpits at this table and the whole game of Thrones and I'm like, we go on, I'm like living in a dream and I'm like, and it really, more and more

the little moments of these years have crystallized into this thing of like, really there's infinite possibility. Like whatever you want to happen can happen. And so I'm just trying to push that forward with, and I learn lessons, you know, like fucking guys like you and Joe and all that show me so much. You know, there's a dude

on Twitter, this guy, Jody Middick. And Jody was a sniper for the Canadian Special Forces. I'd love you to have him on the show. He just wrote a book, and I forget the fucking name of the book. But at Jody Middick is his thing. Hadesdy's name is Jody Midd? Yeah, G-O-D-I-M-I-C.

And he just wrote this book that got out, and dude, it makes me cry. But the first time he hit me up was on Twitter, and it was about coffee. And I was like, oh, cool. And so we didn't even have any bags. Just send him some. And I was like, what do you think about it? And he's like, cool, whatever. And then he sends me a thing a few weeks later.

He goes, hey, dude, do you think you can work out with me if I come to L.A. sometime? I go, sure, man, whatever. And I'm like, this is weird. Like, I've never met a dude off the internet. Like, is this, what is it, you know? And then, and I'm like, it's not real. And I'm blowing this off or whatever.

Unflinching? Yeah, unflinching. And then a couple days or a couple weeks later, he goes, hey, would you mind if Vice came? And we can work out at Logan's gym. I'm like, Vice. and I didn't really snap that he's talking about vice.com. And I'm like, and how's he know Logan's name? And I'm like, wow, this motherfucker is like researching me or something.

Like that's my buddy's name at Deuce Jim down on Lincoln in Venice. And I go, yeah, I said you'd have to hit up Logan and see, I guess. And he goes, okay, cool. And then he goes, oh, and then I make a fucking post. It was about the goddamn Olympic runner that runs on the things. He's got no feet, right? And he runs on those little sleddy deals. And I go, of course this guy's cheating.

This is fucking, he's completely enhanced. And like you can't run with springs on your feet and be like you're the same as me. Like you're going to be faster. And he says, and then Jody hits me up on Twitter. He goes, I'll be the one laughing when I have Hovercraft or something. I go, what are you talking about? I go, and why is Vice coming to talk to you anyway? He goes, well, because I'm doing a thing about PTSD.

He says, I was a sniper in the Canadian Special Forces. And a lot of my buddies have PTSD and I don't have it. and I lost my legs in the war, and I don't have it. And so I want to do some stuff. And I was like, holy fuck. I went and did a workout with him. He's as big as me from the knees down. He got no legs, and he doesn't miss a beat, man.

And then they threw him all of the army after he lost his legs, and he became a politician. And so he's up in, I believe it's in Quebec or Montreal, one of those. And he's just a badass dude, real positive, really great guy. He's trying to do a book tour and get out there as much as he can. But it's like shit like that, man. Like I get to meet dudes like that. Like, it's like everybody makes me better than I ever thought I could be, you know? And that's the nice thing about being open to the universe, I think, in those ways.

Is that I never, if I would have stayed the same dude I was and been like, fuck you, unless you're 6'4 tattooed and fucking a scow on your face and your name's Tate, you don't know me. Like, if I kept walking around like that, like, I don't grow at all. Like, and the better you get, the better I. get, man. And like, the more I'm open to that, the better it is for me, you know? And it just, it gets proven to me over and over again. You're a fucking savage. Let me give some shout out for you the fuck out of here.

It's running late here, 433. Oh, shit. Anyway, happy birthday to my man, Crom, 27, World Peace, Birkman, whatever, Burke Ham, whatever your name is, Mike Wilson, Jr., Aaron Heyer, Cassius Morris, my little brother up there in fucking Canada and the boonies up there,

one, Corey Gardner and Kevin Glenn. You bad motherfucker. So what are you doing? Are you going to Toronto or something tomorrow? Look at you. Yeah, I'm going to... International fucking Lysayat.

On Thursday. I'm going on Thursday, and on Friday night at 10.30, we're going to do a lot of flying to radio at the cafe underground where you can get me this high. So it brings him some good edibles. It's going to be fucking...

I'm going to have Derek Birch, who's a comedy promoter, and we're going to talk about what it's like from his point of view. So I'm hoping that a lot of you. young communities are going to come. And then on Saturday at 6 o'clock, I'm doing a comedy seminar, a podcast seminar, sorry, not comedy, where we are just going to go over.

How high is this guy? Yeah, I'm not going to be this high at the seminar. I'm just going to talk about everything you need to do to start a podcast if you want to. It's at 6 o'clock at the comedy bar. I thought you said you weren't good at the internet. Huh? I'm good at this, but it's not, I don't like. I don't go on Reddit.

There's a lot of sites. It's a lot now. There's a lot out there on the internet. There's a lot and there's too much. And you can't... I don't Instagram. I'm not going to sit there and take fucking pictures. It hurts my feelings.

I just want to look at the pictures of you. I can't do it. I can't. I don't have the time. It's too much. I'm not a fucking picture. I was super impressed though when you texted me the other day. Oh my God.

I was like, when did you start texting? I don't. I don't. I just fucking... If I'm home, I've had three texts. He breaks it out like once in a while. Once in a while I'll break it out because I don't have time. When your number comes up on that icon for text,

how many fucking, is there like 4,000 texts that are unread that are on your shit? You know what? I find them a week later. Yeah. Because let me tell you what happens. Let me tell you what happens. Let's say you text me and I don't feel it in my pocket and I don't see it.

This phone rings every 20 minutes. Right. Once the phone rings, the text don't come up. Only the phone calls and who left the message. Right. So you never go to the icons on your phone to look at. I don't know no fucking icons. So here.

Yeah. So then what happens and see, here's what happens. I got my money is right here. Email and phone. That's all I need. My Twitter's over here. The text is downtown Chicago. So I don't ever fucking see it.

So if you text... I don't go to Chicago twice a year. So it's all the way. All I need is my money, which is fucking email and my phone. Perfect. I don't give a fuck. about Twitter when I'm out. I don't have time. What about messages?

Phone messages. Like, somebody leaves a message. Like, Dardine, he's a prick. He just lets his shit fill up, and so he never gets a message. Do you just go off there, somebody called, or would you prefer they leave a message? I'm going to be as honest I can with you. I'm going to be as honest I can with both of you. If that motherfucker isn't from 301 from Juvill, that shit gets erased.

If I don't get a call from Jewville, Beverly Hills, 310. where the money is at for work. My agent is 310. That's hysterical. I don't fuck around. My booking agent is 310 and my theatrical age in this 310. So if I don't, if there's not a call from Juville, you are no fucking danger. I remember that old message you used to have.

Yeah, I don't care. This isn't about money. It ain't about Giles. That is either pussy or money or don't leave a message. Hi, Joey. Hi. This is Lee from a garden, whatever. I just want to let you know.

I want to touch base. And then they'll leave you a six-minute message. And after 10 seconds, if you're not real, you erase that fucking thing. You know what I hear somebody is here beating? I was thinking about that. Why haven't you had it for a while? What's that? The message.

Because I just torment people. I let them do what they're going to do anyway. And then they bump into me and they go, you never called me back. You left me a message. You text me. You're not supposed to text me. You know, first of all, listen, there was a commercial years ago. Eight, nine years ago, that touched my heart sincerely.

and it was like American Airlines and the guy comes out and he goes business is down 30% he goes this, this is down this is down

he goes you know what's going on we're depending too much on faxes and too much on emails there's no more belly to belly sales and that's what this company was made on

and he started giving out plane tickets and people were cracked you gotta go back out there if you text me for work if a thousand dollar bill don't come up over that I don't get back to you.

I think it's unprofessional. You want to suck my dick? You want to text me? You text me. If you want to suck my dick, text me. So that'll work. I might bump into it. If I open up a text, there's a picture of your pussy and your lips I want this.

I will text you back. You understand me? But if I see, hey, are you available October 4th on the text? Right. 10 other 10 times I erase it. I don't even accept a job because I don't want to do business. with you. You want to suck my big thing, man, about coffee and shit, about the K-man deal, is that, like,

you know, with people, we get wholesale accounts. People call us. They're like, we want to, and so we'll put, like, one of our guys and go, hey, do that. And then they won't check up sometimes. And I'm like, it's, it's like weird, like people that are of the digital age that are kids. You got to re-teach them and go, no, dude, go shake that man's hand. Have a coffee with him, sit down with them. And I want you in there twice a month.

You need to check on these guys to make sure everything's. It's fucking amazing. a trip, just polite manners, you know, that goes so long. I am embarrassed. Sometimes I walk into places with a pocket full of fucking 20s, ready to drop. Ready to drop a dime. And the treatment I get is unparalleled. The salesmanship that, listen, I don't want you selling me, Tate, but I'll tell you what

I want you to do. I want you to come out to me and say, hi, my name is Tate Fletcher. If you need any help at all, come get me. And leave me to fuck alone because now I'm going to hunt you. That's like that girl with the hot pussy. She don't chase you. You chase her. Same fucking mentality.

I remember going up to the fat man store in 1,000 Oaks to Triple XXL three fucking years ago when I was 418. I had a thousand dollars cash. Nobody would talk to me. And I said, you know what, Terry? Let's get the fuck. She's like, we came all the way up here.

I go, these people have forgotten. I'm old school. I know what it is to sell. I know what it is to sit down. I've done all those cells. Yeah. So, listen, I get an email from you. It's interesting.

I email you back. I know how to follow up. I sold cars. This is cars. You ready? Hi, Tate. Joe Dia, blah, blah, blah, blah. My philosophy was different on cars.

I pushed one time. Listen, I could get you this today. Now I'm not ready. My wife, no problem. Come inside. Let me give you a brochure card. Let me get your number real quick. Boom, over.

The card had your address. So the first thing, when you went out that door is I handwrite a letter. This is 1987 before I went to prison, guys. This is street. You're at Colorado Springs? I'm in Boulder. This is street. This is what I learned from street.

This is street. Okay, this isn't, I didn't take a course. I was 23 fucking years old. I didn't take a course. I saw blow. I knew how to do blow. I know how to put a package together. I don't know how to electric car, change your flat.

And I don't know how to do this podcast, Lee. I love you like a brother. I don't know what I do know. I know how to leave the house at 8 and come back at 6 with $1,000. I borrowed it, but the point is, I came home with $1,000. What did you come home with? Nothing. And you know what?

Tomorrow, I'll go out and make $800 because I'll rob that chick across the street at the fucking thing. I've done it a thousand fucking times. I don't know how to do a lot of things, but I know how to rock and roll. And you know how to talk me how to rock and roll? I did by watching my mom. I bought a book on sales. Way before I got into sales, telephone sales in 1980s, and I read this thing front and back. And when I used to sell cars, so you live.

leave, you get a letter the next fucking day. And 24 hours after you come in, you get a call. Listen, Tate Fletcher, Joey Diaz, I don't want to bother you. All I want to say is maybe you have a question for me. That didn't answer while you were out. No, but thank you for calling. And when they come back, you know what they say to me? We don't even like

the Subaru. We came back because you sent us a letter and you called us. We went to six different places. Nobody fucking called us or sent us a letter. I'm very always thinking I want to do what the other guy ain't doing. Well, and the thing is, is what I found when I came to LA is that it's so fucking easy

to be better than the next guy because they're worried about different things and I'm like, I want to be the best guy so I can make this guy's business the best. And like when you come with that attitude, fuck and you show up on time, that's a wrap. You're the guy. You know, you got to be consistent and be polite,

smile, look at people, shake hands. You're ahead of everybody in the world. Everybody. Because it's a trip, New Mexico's like that too. live with a bunch of entitled motherfuckers. And like if you're the one guy that's not entitled, you're going to rise to the top, man. Like, that's for sure.

I'm going to tell you guys this story. I haven't told anybody. I think I told my wife. Let me tell you how fucked up. And I don't feel bad about it. I feel like this is L.A. Right. This is L.A.

So I go to, I go to, I sign up at Higgins last August 6th. Okay. And I go to Higgins, the whole month of August. And I get knee surgery. And I take the month. month of September off. And they have a manager there. And he keeps calling me.

When are you coming back? You know, we're worried about you. We're thinking, okay, and I go back there. And we start doing exercises. I go back there instead of me rolling and stuff, he'd make me drill, and he'd make me do all this hip work to strengthen my leg.

Guy was a solid guy. I like the fucking guy, you know? I keep going back. I keep going back. At this time, Higam was getting busy with his other school, and he wasn't teaching a lot. Yeah, he was down at 87-11, Donna Englewood for a little while,

I think, at a stunt school. That's not school. So he was, and I was going, and Dave was teaching. This guy, Dave was teaching, and I'm just going to tell you about the lay people. So we're going back and forth, blah, blah, bye. And I'm really liking this guy. I like the class. In fact, Hugh called me when I, are you coming to class tomorrow?

They're real cool down there, Eagans, and Beverly Hills. I just go on Wednesdays. Yeah. But I'm going there, and it's December, and one day I go, and this guy's not working at the thing. I'm going, I don't know what happened. So I'm working out with the guys. about three days there my phone rings and it's this guy

and he goes, how you doing, blah, blah, blah, blah. I go, good. And he goes, listen, man, I know I don't know you too well but I'm a really bad bind

and this is what I usually get to work with people for Jiu if you give me this number I'll give you this amount and you know me, I count the rough it because I'm a Cuban Jew and I go,

I'll give you this amount and this is what I want and he did it, you know. And I did all, I completed the 10 sessions fucking great. got a long rate. He taught me a lot of

jihitsu stuff. We'd do conditioning and then we'd do a jihitsu to finish it and then he'd stretch me out really well. I mean, fucking tremendously. You know, I gotta say

if somebody came to me and wanted to refer me, him, and this went on and I would call him and go, hey man, how are you doing? I'd go, listen, if you need cash, you go, yeah, yeah,

let's do the same deal as last time. So there was one thing left, one training session left. And about, and I went like three of them, three different times I went with him and I you know what

the guy was consistent he did a great job he was always on time I think one time he was fucking late but he gets a job he says you have to come here now right because you can't meet me over there no more you have to come here because did he get kicked out of that spot or something no no we were working out in his little room

he had like a basement downstairs right right right moved but then he got a job at this popular gym in town and he went over there and he called me over there and one day he goes hey you have to sign this and they want it like like fucking three something to work out in there a month. And I'm like, listen, dog, I can't do no fun. I'm not the one.

I got a two-year-old at the house. This is Hollywood people here, you know. He's like, well, come on down. This guy hangs out here, and I can listen. I don't want to see these people. This isn't my life. This is not what I'm into. I'm in the dark corner with guys sweating on me.

I'm cool. I'm a man, dog. I'm cool. And he goes, all right. And you know what? He came to the story. And I said, what's going on? And he goes, oh, I'm getting, I have NHL people.

I'm getting $200. You know, and I'm like, that's funny because he did a movie thing for me. It's like when you do a movie, when we're shooting a movie and I call you, you answer the phone. Yeah. The minute I'm off that movie and I call you, now I've got to leave a message. Yeah. And it was so weird how he went from A to Z. Like, he was, I said, when are you going to come down again?

And he goes, oh, no, I'm too busy with these guys. No, I can't. Yeah. I'm getting like 300 an hour. Wait until you get that next. phone call. Can you fucking believe that? And I wasn't surprised. Lee, wake up, you fuck. I'm up. Jesus Christ.

Drink some coffee. You look at heroin guy over there. He's like, just giggling. He ain't giggling. Not at that point. He was nodding to the fucking side. Like I used to, when I had to sleep at me. I'm worried about you driving home. Oh, he's fine. He goes low at time. Are we going to go up to end and out and just neck a few burgers to get some energy? That's what he wanted.

I'll be here for a while. He's lost 100 pounds. Really? Almost, yeah. God damn. He's in jiu-jitsu now. We did kettlebell class. Awesome. Fucking right on, dude. I'm trying. It's hard. It's funny that this fucking guy here would call me when we were on the road and we go, hey man, come downstairs, let me

train you. And I'll always give you some excuse. And now, the first thing I do before I leave my fucking house is go to that hotel web page to see what type of gym they have and if they have a pool so I could bring my goggles. I wouldn't even go to those gyms. I would walk past them and run away. I wouldn't even

consider going to a gym in a whole I thought when I was on the road, fuck you. What goes on the road? You know what's crazy is when you flip it and you're like, you get a little consistent, you're like, I don't feel good unless my blood is moving through my whole body.

I don't feel good unless I'm in this fucking conversation of movement. I work out Monday hard, Tuesday hard, and Wednesday hard, and Thursday I fly. Right. So I take the day off. I don't think I'm going to make Jitsu come on.

How bad does that fuck you up too? It's like if you're not working out and moving and you fly as much as we do? Oh my God. You're a stiff bitch. Yeah, you're fucked. So Friday I try to lift weights. It's not good for you. And Saturday I lift weights at the hotel.

When I fly back Sunday, then it's business as usual. If I'm home on a Sunday, I'll go roll at 10 o'clock over there at VMA. I really like it, though. It took me. I remember used to take me to Alberta Crane's place in Santa Fe. Yeah. With me, you, Ivan Salafari. Yeah, back in the day, yeah.

Me, you, Ivan, Maurice Smith, and Bob Sap was over there one day. Remember you were in the van with me one day when I called them Godzilla or King Kong? Dude, and that's what we're talking about, like, what he is in Japan. He's, like, he is like King Kong incarnate. He's like, he is that to Japanese. It's like, there is a big black fucking, like that is. And that's who Bob Sap is. Fucking huge, like, he is like a behemoth of a dude.

They look at him and they're like, they think the city is getting attacked. And they love him. He was like, I got bobblehead dolls, key chains. He had everything. He's like, they got dildos. I'm like, they got Bob Sap dildos. He's like, he's like, dude, everything watches,

swatch watches with his name in it, they marketed the fuck out of him. It's crazy. It was crazy. He maybe is the most marketed fighter there was. And then he had these cats. They were like feral or like they were like onyxes or something. They were like right outside of the jungle.

Like they were bigger and they're fucking, and they're pissed and shred everything. I was like, why do you have that in your house? That's a wild animal. He's like, oh, I love these things. There's great. All right. No, oscillates.

That's what they were. I think. oscillates. It was great to have you on. Man, it was good to be here, dude. A pleasure to see it, you're doing well. Every fucking movie I see, I see you jumping through the air and getting shot. You know, it's fucking tremendous. There's a big

one coming out. The accountant, you're going to love, it's a Ben Affleck, and right when he got done doing Batman, Superman, he went on to that. And that'll be coming out shortly. And then a movie called Bloodfather with Mel Gibson. I got a little role in that, too.

It'll be out a little bit. How was Mel Gibson? He was fucking cool. Cool is shit. Dude, you know, everybody says all that shit, and I always go, God help me if somebody takes a snapshot of me at the worst part of my life and passes that off as the total of my life.

Because to watch him work, that is a genius. Like, when I'm watching him, dude, I'm like, I would love to spend a week with this guy just talking to him. He's badass. He's bad ass. He knows his shit.

The director from our, the cinematographer from our movie, Longishard, and him were best friends. Dean. Okay, I remember Dean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Dean and him were best friends all the way that he was the first AD on Road War II. Yeah. So he has all those stories about them to crash in the car. Was that before Gallipoli, do you think? Look it up. It was Mad Max, Road War, 82. 82 was when he did, they did Mad Max. Late 70s, early 80s.

Mad Max was 80. Road Warre was 82 because I just graduated high school. They know each other. And here's the funny thing that way before all that stuff came out. Is it Dean Semler? Dean Semler. Dean Semler. Dean Semler,

let's give him a round of applause, and he goes, I won an academy, no, 82 films plus one, he would always say something to me. Dean Semler, he always made a joke about himself. But the one day,

I remember hitting him up early, and he was on the phone, and he went, hold on, and he was laughing. He goes, I got to go, chap. And he goes, that was Mel Gibson telling me his racist joke of the day.

Oh, my God. And what happened was, listen, man, who doesn't have a fucking friend? Of course. That calls you up and says, listen, I just drove by two fucking spicks sitting on a war and you giggling.

And then you see him a week later and he's talking to his daughter, his Spanish husband. Right. That happens. It's not that you're, it's just that you're racially stupid like I am. You just say stupid shit. I don't need nobody. I mean, people go for funny. They go for funny, and they don't mean to hurt anybody. You know what I mean? It's not, it's not

mean-spirited. But somebody takes it out of context, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's not to have to have to Mel Gibson. Anybody who's working for Mel Gibson really knows he's fucking. He just loved... Listen, for 3,000 years, here's how much we've changed. The Indians want the fucking Buffalo people to do that, right? The Atlanta people.

You know who you've never complained? You know who's never raised their hand in this society? And I want you to think. If I'm fucking lying, I'll give you $500. Polacks. What have you heard the Polacks go on national TV and say it's over? Our generations are decriminalizing. No more, how many Polacks is it take to squeeze a lightball?

How many, they got, when I was a kid, there were books on fucking Polish books. They never complained one thing. The Indians, you can't do this, an Atlanta Brave game, the blacks, you can't do this, the Spanish people, now the Hispanics. Everybody's always had a fucking beef.

The Polacks have never said fucking who gots. Nothing. You ever think about that shit? Never. Irish. They don't give a fuck. Everybody when they come in the country, man. Everybody.

It's like, I think there is that thing about people like to complain. And it doesn't even matter if they really agree with it, they're like, there's something I could be against. And it's like, you can't fucking make yourself a human by defining yourself by what you're against. That's fucking weak. You know what I mean? Go be about some real shit. And writing letters.

Lisa, we've got time for all that. Have a great fucking weekend up in Toronto. I hope people start to the podcast and hang out with you. And they give you some edibles and you get stuck in fucking Canada for a month up there. Canadian Uber. You don't know what might happen. fucking Uber.

They'll take you to fucking Paris. Pull up on a moose. What am I going to see you again? You'll be around. Maybe tonight, dude. I got to work tomorrow on the next day. And then I'll be, yeah, man. I got a 1045 at the store.

Tonight you do? Yeah, 1045. Good little show tonight. I want to give a shout out to my main motherfucker's on it. I love you, motherfucker, as always. Whether it's the alpha brain or the shroom tech sport, I live on that fucking shit. I took those shroom tech sports today before the kettlebell class.

I was throwing up those motherfuckers. I was on fire today. That was why, Shroom Tech. They make you happy, too. The Shroom Tech sport. It's like, it changes your mood into a happy, it's not like the Ephedra and shit back in the day where you're like, eh, it's like, I don't know, I don't know while what's in there.

People always give you shit pre-drunk, I don't do none of it because all this is fucking caffeine. I don't want that shit. The Shroom Tech goes in smoothly and it comes in later. After a while, I'm breathing and I can't catch up with my breath because I have more breath than I usually have. Now I'm going the other way. Usually I can't.

I'm sucking wind because of the reef. Now I'm going the other way. I got too much fucking energy. So anyway, who the fuck gives a fuck? You can make the decision. Go to Onet.com right now. Look at that page. They got great supplements.

They got batter ropes and stuff, but I can't save you on that. What I could give you is 10 points off today on Onet, whether it's fucking the Shroom tech, whether it's the alpha brain, which, listen, even if you, they don't want it back. Let's say you get the alpha brain and you don't want it. We don't want it back.

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Fucking tremendous. Now, always remember one thing. Uncle Joey's always trying to give you some fucking love. You walk into a grocery store. You find the hour of snacks. You sit around, right? You're in a good mood. You don't even know you got to leave the fucking couch.

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You know why? Because you're probably wearing those white underwear, those tight black things, and you're sweating and your balls grow mushrooms. That shit don't happen with Miandis. It takes all the sweat out of your nutsack. I wore them today to fucking whatever. My legs were sweaty. My T-shirt was sweaty.

You know, my fucking ball sack was dry as fucking. I went home to take a shower. I swear to God, if I had time, I don't let you come over and touch them. That's how I roll for the small 20. You know what I'm saying? For the small 20, I'll let you touch my boss. For the small 20.

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Five big bags and honor.com. They're always there for your cocksuckers. I'm going to be at the DC Improv all weekend rocking it, taping the CD. Let's see what happens. Tate Fletcher, I love your cocksucker. Thank you for the coffee. I love you.

And Lisa, yeah, you really, you really got to get it together. I got to get it together. I got to get it together. Look at the fucking shape of you. Oh, my God. That star, okay, you asked the question. What's the rest of his day look like? Not much.

You asked a question earlier. how do you know what 10 milligrams is? Yeah. We know kind of what the milligrams is going to do. You look like you got cerebral palsy right now. The issue, I know. The issue with him is that he just cuts an indeterminate amount. Like, it started out as something.

There was a piece in there. And what am I going to do? Play fucking measure sticks. We cut it in half, we ate it, and we went deep. Deep. Salude, you bad motherfuckers. Have a great weekend. Uncle Joey here.

Tate Fletcher and my name man Lee Syatt. Put the music on your foot week. Thank you, Lee. Oh, Bob. That was amazing. Now that this show is over, don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get a sample box of great

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