The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #327 - Anjelah Johnson

Episode Date: October 22, 2015

Anjelah Johnson, Comedian, whose comedy special "Not Fancy," is on Netflix, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off.   Recorded live on 10/19/2015.   Music:   Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice Rage Against The Machine -Killing In The Name Of

Where are you this weekend? San Jose. So you're out every weekend? Yeah, for the rest of the year. Actually, until December. I'm not. I got a two and a half year old, man. I can't go out every week.

It breaks my heart. It kills me. It kills me. I'm too old for that stuff. See, when I was young and I wanted the headline every week, nobody wanted a headline. And I was ready to go, and I would stay out for a year. I would bus it across this country.

Oh, wow. I would leave L.A. in November. and come back in April. No way. And send clothes back from different Walmarts and stuff. Yeah. Wow. And now this started three years ago, and I can't do this now.

I'm 24 years. I mean, I don't want to do this now. But now I really like it. Yeah. I really like going out and taking pictures and hanging out with people. I only do Thursday, Friday, Saturday, so I'm back Sunday, first flight. So I get to enjoy the baby and stuff. So let's do it, Doug.

The show is brought to you by meyondies.com. Come on now. Go to meondies.com. slash Joey to get 20% off of your order with free shipping in the United States and Canada. Miandi's products are made with modal fabric, which is softer than cotton, and they make... That's true. Oh, it's great. Oh, my God.

My sheets are mobile. Oh, really? Amazing. Oh, that's the way to do it. But Meandis has shirts, t-shirts, socks, sweatpants, sweatshirts, are really comfortable. Go to meandes.com slash Joey to get 20% off of your order with free shipping in the United States and Canada. and go to onit.com and use code word church to get 10% off all of the great optimization products like alpha brain new mood shum tech immune shoem tech sport use code church to get 10% off

oh shit oh shit the church of what's happening now angela johnson in the house leesiat in the house special monday afternoon edition Oh shit Make it happen Lee a little wiggle for Uncle Joey Oh Oh, bust it Busted Lichon

You got a Spanish girlfriend Lee Scholl Oh look at you trying your hardest Get it boo get it He wiggles He wiggles he wiggles He's got a Mexican girlfriend She breaks it down from him and stuff

Giving it his best shot Look at him Monday October 19th Lee's face I've never seen it This red in my life Oh my god

Ha ha ha ha ha ha What's happening, brother? No, I don't really have. I've never really wiggled for it. Because most people come in, no, like, the setup and stuff. But this is all new, so it's like, I don't know, I got nervous. Angela Johnson made your wiggle. You've got all blush.

Look at you. It's the Snoop Dog. I don't know if I'm allowed to wiggle at the Snoop Dog. It happens. Angela Johnson, what's happened? Snoop makes your wiggle. Snoop makes your wiggle. It's great to have you on.

Thank you so much. And it was hysterical because I was speaking to your friend, and she goes, well, Angela says to file, you know, She follows you on Twitter. I go, listen. I wanted to tell you. You heard this story, but I'll tell you. When I was in high school, there was this girl in high school. There was a beautiful young girl that reminded me to you.

And then was Patty Emerson. And I used to hang out with guerrillas in high school. And this is how nice we were. But every time Patty Emerson would walk by, we'd look at each other, and we'd look at Patty. And all of us at the same time ago, no. Because she was such a nice girl that we never want. In fact, we went from an awe of being, like, looking at her.

her to protecting her. Like whenever she would date shitty guys, you'd always shake them down and say, get the fuck out of the name of you. Yeah. I'm a date Patty Emerson. You're my Patty Emerson. I don't want you to see what I write on Twitter,

the disgusting stuff. So whenever I see you, I'm on my best behavior. It's the weirdest thing. It's the weirdest thing. Whenever I saw you at the thing, the Out Festival that we did in Denver, was it Denver?

I don't know. Oddball. Oddball. Was it oddball? We did something. Oh, no, no, no. We did this thing in San Diego. Okay, it was either San Jose or it was L.A.

No, no, no, that thing up by the bay. The radio. The radio thing we did. Yes. It's Wild 94-9 comedy jam. Right. I remember I saw you. It was either that one or the L.A. version.

I don't drink in front of you. I don't smoke pot in front of you. I don't do nothing in front of Angela Johnson. Oh, you. You're just that type of person that you're so sweet. But I'm like, you know what? If it's, I won't even cross. I'm like Satan compared to Angela Jackson's.

Not even. What's going on? You're so sweet. Thank you for... What's happened? You know what? Stuff is happening. I'm happy. I'm healthy.

So that's good. I think we take for granted a lot of the little things because we're always striving for more, especially us artists, comedians. We're always striving for the next level, the next gig, the next something. So sometimes it's hard to be content just right where you're at. So I think I'm practicing that right now, for sure. We were talking about that, that film, for me, is dead. Like I still get calls.

Like people like, hey, what are you doing? October 16th? Are you available? Yeah, okay. We'll get back to you. And they put a pin in you. And then they went a different direction. I forget about it. My agent calls me back. You got oh. You're like a voodoo dog. You got so many pins in you. You got so many pins in me. And my agent calls me like four in the afternoon I get a call. Hello?

Oh, they took the pin out of you. They went in the different directions. So what did you call me for and bothered me? I forgot all about that pen. Oh, yeah. I could care less about that pen. But it's similar. We were talking about acting how for you, like you were 2007, on Mad TV,

and all of a sudden, that acting strike, that writer's strike, I was on, my name is Earl. I had done four episodes, and he came up to me in December. They called me like a two one day, and they were coming at 4.30. It was so cool.

And on the way out, he goes, listen, we're going to stay at the prison another 13 episodes. Just pick the dates. He goes, to see the ones you're on. Boom. They went on strike. Then they started.

it all over again without the prison. So I lost my little NBC push. Because there's nothing like being on NBC during pilot season. You follow me? That's when you want to be on. You want to be on TV between December and March. A couple episodes of Coke, something. But that blew it all

and that was just the beginning of the end. I booked an NBC pilot a couple years ago, one of the leads. And I was like, hey, ooh-hoo! Look at me now. And then what happens? Recast. Did they really? Yes. And then what happened? It was me and Al Madrigo. I played his wife. And what was the show? It's called About a Boy.

It was on two seasons. They recently canceled it. But it was cool. Jason Kedoms created it, Friday Night Lights, parenthood, come on now. You know what I mean? It was like, it was a great opportunity. And they talked about recasting both of us,

me and Al. They're like, oh, there's two ethnic ones. Get them out here. But then it was just me. And they ended up casting somebody a little older and whatever it was. Pilots are a tricky thing. Pilots have always been a tricky thing.

I book like eight of those things. You know that. I was the king of pilots. And my first one was the one that was going to be the big one. CBS, they hired Sydney, Pollock, the directed. A million dollars they gave them to go up against NYPD, blew a cop show about the Bronx. Joey, you need to be in town these dates.

I was already looking at houses and shit. Yeah, right? I was one of the leads. They gave me 11 out of 13, the first. season as a bartender where all the cops sung out in the attorneys. I mean I was like, I remember being in Miami Impra and them calling me and going, hey,

it didn't get picked up and going, I don't understand. I went to 18 table things. I went to 22 things. What do you mean? Then I was doing comedy somewhere one night and one of the writers came up to me. He goes, they're going to bring it back. CBS is going to do a mid-season

replacement. They give Sidney Pollock a million dollars. Why would you give Sydney Pollock a million dollars an episode? if you're not going to pick the show up. But that's what happens. That's why. Yeah. They couldn't afford it.

It's so weird. I've booked four pilots at Fox. Wow. One of them got picked up, the Lewis Guzman show. And then they wanted to go with a white cop instead of the Latin cop, which is a recast in my world. Then I got picked up for Happy Hour. Same thing they recast the landlord. They used me to shoot the pilot.

They light the laughs. Then they want a little bit more subtle because the rest of them are, what do you call it? Those actors improv, like, what's... Improvisors? Yeah, what's that gig improv? Oh, and GROWS and all that? They were all grounding actors. I mean, we should have seen these guys.

They were getting limos there and shit. It was like that big break. And I was like the outside of the stand-up comic. I was like, ooh. But, you know, the show lasted five episodes. So fuck them. So the hell with them. Which is more frustrating for you guys,

the business of stand-up or the business? business of acting? Well, for me, I say acting because it's out of my control, you know, whereas stand-up, I write my own stuff and I go on the road and it's up to me to keep the audience entertained and to book the shows, you know, but in the acting world, you have so many hoops you have to jump through, you have network has to approve of you, producers have to approve of you, casting has to approve of you, everybody has to approve of you, and then if you didn't write it, you're going off somebody else's words and they rewrite it and you

went from having five pages of dialogue to one page of dialogue and then you end up getting recast and I have no control over any of that. It's like I'm just, you know, their little puppet they put me wherever they want. And then even when you create your own stuff, everybody thinks it's so easy to just, we'll just start making your own things. Really?

That easy? It's not that easy. If your gift is not screenwriting, if your gift is not producing, it's, It's not so easy to just make your own stuff. And then even if you do write your own show and you sell it to a network, then they pick it apart and they make it what they want it to be because... We want you to have a white husband. Yeah.

I don't get it. You know, they just... I knew a girl in this town that was a good-looking girl, but not a playmate, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she sold the show, and they came to this girl. And they said, listen, we want the show on ABC. The only problem is we want you to play the system. we don't want you to play you

we want you to play the sister we have to go with a more attractive girl this girl just fell apart I mean she said I don't even know what she said and she fell apart she came back eight or nine years later I mean she went and got married and had kids

and now she does stand up around town but there's things like that that are out of your control that's got to be you know but so is at least at the beginning so is getting booked as a as a comic like you can't

Listen, all this stuff is hard. Right. You know, we don't want nobody at home to think. I love when people like, oh, it took you two years to book a show. It took me three weeks. I took one acting. All right, don't worry. It's going to all catch up.

You're going to have to pay your do somewhere along the line. Some people come to town and book something right away. I did. I booked something right away. I was like, oh, I got this. And then I went to like 20 major auditions while I fell on my ass. I'm like, okay, I'm not to go to acting class now. Because everybody was saying you're a stand-up.

You don't need acting class. Okay. That worked until I blew 20 auditions And I went to an acting class And then I had something to work off And then I started booking You know, because the stand-up did help I could go into a room

And blow up a room with four people That's what you get from stand-up The advantage we have overactors You were saying when you first moved to LA Though, your first passion It's such an unreal thing Like with me, my first passion was Stand-up

But nobody wanted to talk to me I was always too dirty or too old but I'm booking all this shit and I'm like wow how could the acting world accept me but the one I didn't really want

I would go in for stuff I booked a pilot I booked the show one time three episodes and an NBC show when I walked and I told the woman right out I'm not right for this and she goes what do you know what you're right for because my name's not actor

I'm not going to book this and she goes read the thing and I go I'm not going to book this because I'm going to New York for this a surprise I'll never forget this. And she goes, no, you're not. You're going to be here Monday.

You're going to produce us. She knocked it out. She fought me in the room. Like, I did not want to be a nice show at all. I'm like, I'm just coming up here out of respect for my manager. It's better than canceling an audition. I was going to tank it. And she's like, you could do better than this.

Read it. And I'm like, I don't want to read this. And she gave me three episodes in this guy. Wow. The complete opposite. I'm over here. Are you sure you don't want me to do it one more time? I don't want to do it.

I didn't want to do it. They rewrote the role from me. Wow. Like from Hector to Michael. That's why you never know what you're walking into also as an actor. Yeah. I didn't want stuff after a while. I remember going to a comedy store one night and going out with people and getting sick.

And the next day they call me going, they're waiting for you in a producer session. And me going like, I can't make it. I can't even drive. I'm so sick. And they're like, we'll give you an hour. You need to be here. And I booked a movie with James Colburn, an American gun. I never forget that. So in the beginning when I came here,

I didn't want most acting jobs, and I got them. I wanted to be a stand-up, but Montreal wouldn't take me, the imprars wouldn't book me, nobody would manage me. So I was dead, and now it's completely different. Like now, I like to book some TV once in a while, just to nothing. Nothing. Do you think it'll go in like another? Well, it's peaks and valleys.

I'm not complaining, man. I'm complaining. Really? You have no reason to complain. No, I'm kidding. And then, you know, you have the age gaps also in this town that a lot of people don't know about. You know, you have to be from, the age gaps are a motherfucker. That's what really a lot of people understand.

Because from 35 to 40, you're dead in this town because they're looking for 40 or 50. Yeah. I'm finding I'm in that weird place. Right now, yeah. She's in a weird place right now. I'm not young enough and I'm not old enough. There you go. That's exactly where I'm at right now.

And I remember the first couple auditions, I started getting the feedback. She's too old. It was like, what? I'm too old? What are you talking about? And then I go in for like, okay, the mid-30s, they're like, oh, she's too young for this. I'm like, well, what do I do then? It's crazy.

I got here between 35 and 40. It was hell. They're like, we can't hire you if you had white hair. Yeah. White hair. What are you crazy? And now I got white hair and now they don't hire me. Now when I show up to audition, they're like, would you consider it?

on your hair? How crazy is that? They always ask me because your hair would be too shiny for the camera. Can you consider the shiny? Can you just put some powder in it and unshined? It's so weird, whatever you want. You know, Ralphie Mae read for Blow and they told him he was too small.

Wow. Like, what is Ralphie Mae doing? What do you? And look at the guy they hide. He was a big guy. Yeah, Ralphie's a big guy. Yeah. Ralphie's like, you know how hard I've been working on this? For this?

Yeah. And now I'm not big enough. I saw you in something, though, recently, and I can't remember what it was. Enough said. James Gannofini. There you go. That what it was? There was.

Okay. I knew I saw you in some. Probably that. I'm guessing. I don't know. You played the other girl's house lady. Yeah. Played the housekeeper.

Who I've always had a crush on that one. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? No, Tony Colette. Tony Colette. Always had a crush on it. There's something about her voice, something that I like. Her accent maybe? Something. Where's she from?

Australia or New Zealand? Something like that. She did something that I really liked her in. Yeah. But she did the movie with Pacino when they had the make-believe woman that was with Jay Moore. You ever see that movie? No. Pacino, they had a make-believe movie star. They put her in a bunch of stuff and then she wouldn't show up to all the,

to all the premieres and stuff, which made it. They're even more popular. Oh. So now they had a producer. The studios wanted to see her. They wanted the producer. She was just like a fake woman or something. Wow.

No, I've never seen that. Who the hell knows? These movies. I've never seen that. There's just too many movies. I think it's a really bad movie. But now when you fly, they have like, I don't know what airlines has the top 100 AIFI films.

Have you seen that? What airline is? Delta, perhaps? I think it's Delta. Delta has Delta Studio now where you can watch all kinds of stuff. All kinds of stuff. So that really makes it. a big difference

of people don't fly. I don't know if you've been flying lately. I watch most of my new shows on the airplane because they're all available there. Every show that I say, oh, I got to watch that. I got to get into that and I don't do it

because I don't have time to just sit and watch TV. When I'm on the plane, I'll go through all the shows. What shows are you watching now? Well, I'm not really watching anything, but on the plane I saw grandfathered, which I thought was really funny. Who is that? Is that one?

Stamos? Yeah. Yeah. Stamos. I always get Stamos confused with Homeboy who's on the other show that comes on right after The Grindr. It's Fred Savage and Roblo. Roblo and John Stamos. I always get them confused.

But I saw both other shows. I thought they were great. I like to watch the shows that aren't critically acclaimed. Like, I like criminal minds and Law and Order SVU. Well, Mreshka Hargate wins. awards a lot. But like I'm not hip on all the shows that everyone's talking about.

Like Orange is the New Black and True Detective and like all that kind of stuff. Like I just want to watch cheesy shows like criminal minds. That's one of my favorite shows. See, I'm a law and order type of dude. Oh yeah, Law and Order SVU. Svue is too disturbing. To disturb. You just like Law & Order Criminal Intent.

No, not even Criminal Intent. Just law and order with Jerry Yor back. Old school. And the good looking dude. Benjamin Brad. That's it. Hey. That's it.

That's it. He's got like eight seasons. That's it. Just kidding. And they play those. I watch them on a fucking playing the other day. Oh, yeah. You can put Direc TV on at 6th of the morning.

Blast. Bam. I watched the Russia. USA Network. USA and TNT. Yeah, I love all that stuff, though. That's the first thing I do in my hotel room on the road.

Me too. I turn my TV on. I go directly to USA or TNT. And here's the thing. We're in comedy, right? So people assume that we love to watch all the comedy things. If I go on to USA and it's a marathon of my modern family instead of a marathon

of Law & Order SVU, I get so sad because I want to watch the crime show where somebody gets raped and then they find out who it was. That's what I want to watch after making a bunch of people laugh. See, I can't watch the rape shit. It affects me differently.

I like the regular murders and drug dealers. Like, I live for Fridays because when I come back from radio, I get room service and I watch gangland like a motherfucker. You don't take an after-press nap? Yeah, sometimes. times. Yeah, I watch a couple of ganglans and I'll take a little nap from my 12 to 1, 12 to 2.

Because ganglang comes on here at 10. So by that time, I'm doing shit with my daughter from home on Fridays. But when you're on the road, it starts at like 7. Yeah. So you got a good cup of coffee. You get to watch the Hells Angels or some two black guys from Atlanta who jump up and down and mug people. And then you watch, you get back and then watching Hell's Angels. The M-13, you get to learn about the whole thing at Gangline. That's so weird. I don't bring that. How about the first 48? I like that too.

That's a very good show. That's my jam too. That's my jam too. A&E network. That's the first 48. A lot of people don't know that A&E used to have Law & Order at lunchtime. A&E 15 years ago, that's where Law & Order first went. Wow.

So in the daytime as a comic, I would do my shit in the morning and then shoot home by 12. Me and my wife, girlfriend at the time, would watch two or three Law & Orders eat lunch. Then at three, I'd go do whatever I had to do again with a little dose of Law & Order. Tell you what else I watch on the road, believe it on that. Sex in the City. Really? I'm a sex in the city guy. Always have been.

I don't give a fuck what anybody says. That's a great show. I like the dirty whore, the old woman. The rider gets on my nerves. I have a crush on the brunette, but she can't talk too much. She's your Patty, or who is your girl from high school? The pretty girl from high school. The girl he wouldn't hit on.

The one you wouldn't let anybody touch. You guys would look at her. Oh, Patty. Patty. Patty now. Is she your Patty? The brunette? The brunette is too clean.

Like, she's always complaining about sex and shit. The redhead's really cute. The redhead's been around for 20 years as an actress. A lot of people don't know that. But I like, I don't like none of the writers' boyfriends. They're all fucking fruits. The chick. What season are you on?

I tell you who I like, Barishna Croft. When she dated the old dancer, that was pretty good. He was a hottie. Mr. Big is a hottie. I like Mr. Big. Big. Well, he's also Law and Order. He's also, I like the redhead when she dated the dude with the glasses. He was a very nice dude, but that cancerin is nut.

Yeah. He was very nice. I like him. You know. How long have you been watching sex? Since day one. That's amazing. Since fucking day one, I will watch sex in the city is such a fucking great show.

And they tried to do it with guys and they couldn't do it. They did? Yeah, they tried to do it with Bobby Slayton and the other guy from the comedy store and an English fucking guy and they couldn't fucking do it. Sex and the city was one of the most. Brilliant fucking shows for women. Yeah. It really was.

It's set up, you know, you want to know what fucking women are thinking. They're all a bunch of dirty animals and shit. But not really. They had backstories. Oh, yeah. They really had a backstory when the old whore fell in love with the dude from the Warriors. That was fucking the best. Because she challenged that motherfucker.

She pushed his envelopes. The guy from the Warriors is the good-looking Spanish dude who now he was also in, I don't know his name, man. I love that you watch Sex and the City. My husband just started getting into it. I came home one day and he had on Sex and the City and it was like the pilot episode. And he was like, you know what, babe? I decided I'm going to get into Sex and the City.

It was a really good show. It was really acclaimed and I never saw it. So I'm going to get into it. And he's just sitting there watching episode after episode of Sex and the City randomly. That's funny that you brought that up. I was so embarrassed about it. I didn't tell you about it. Now that you brought it up, I'm like, okay, I'm going to see.

When I'm on the road, I'll catch three or four of them back to back. I don't like the first season. I don't like the dude. She dates that's like the fucking jazz guy that plays the bass. That motherfucker gets on my nerves. She dates a lot of dudes. I hate it. The whore dates some dude.

She dates fucking crazy dudes. The redhead date some cute dudes. And the brunette had a fucking hot boyfriend, the Irish dude. The brunette married him, but he wouldn't make love to her all the time. That's a good-looking motherfucker. fucker right there that Irish white dude that dude's a badass dude I'm gonna go back and yeah she just got on his nerves she can't she talks too much

and the chick talks too much a little too much the writer and she's too obsessed with shoes I don't like none of that shit get sneakers you fuck it's New York City yeah exactly right I remember the first time I went to New York I tried to wear heels and cute shoes I'm like what at Chicago airport I was this close to going up to some fucking dumb chick with heels when you're connecting in Chicago yeah that's a big fucking

mistake, okay? Yeah. You're making a big fucking mistake. I'm trying to help you out here. Just wear sneakers and wear hot pants. You get the same fucking mileage out of the other thing. You're going to walk around with fucking heels and try to impress, you know, like your Chloe Kardashian with fucking heels on in Chicago Airport.

I'm just trying to help you out. Take those monsters off. You don't need the aggravation in your life. You see them and you see them at big airports. I try to help women. I try to pull them as a sign or listen. Do yourself a favor. Carry some flaps.

Yeah. Fucking put sneakers on. You're fucking killing me. You walk around with like some sandals in your bag just to give out. Yeah, sneakers. I always, it blows my mind when I see girls at the airport wearing a dress or a skirt. Because I'm like, do you know how freezing it is on the airport? Are you crazy?

I get it. You may have a meeting as soon as you get off the plane. But, you know, carry it. You got to train in New York City? It's women who are impeccably dressed with fucking track shoes on. And they got a bad motherfucker. pair of fucking gocha, fucking cabanas in their fucking bag, ready to put on as soon as they walk in the fucking building.

Or I've seen women in New York where that motherfucking house shoes on. I've seen a woman dialed up to the tens with house shoes on the train. Fuck it, who's on the train? What are you care? You're walking upstairs and shit. I'm making stuff happen. Do you? Yeah, you're a woman, dog.

We work with you. I'm working with you. Put the converse on. I'm all right. Once we get down, once you get the bikini on, then you bust those motherfucking heels out. Tell them, Lisa. A lot of people do that. My mom can do it when you work in the city.

Women do it all the time. So when I'm at an airport or like a big airport, like Dallas, Chicago, when I see some woman dialed up, listen, I appreciate it. I'm a man's man. I appreciate it. You got dialed up, but it's no need to. I'm with you on this. You don't need this shit.

Thank you. Yeah, you see them making a mistake. Does your wife do you ever do that or not really? She doesn't too much to wear your skills. No. She'll wear heels to church and stuff like that. But besides that, no, she knows. She hears all my stories from Airports.

I'm there to help you. I'm there. Hey, listen, nobody likes a pair of women's heels more than me with nice boots or something. But there's a time and place for everything. Yep. Agreed. You like shoes?

Like, you like looking at women's feet and like nice shoes? Yeah. Who doesn't? I never really thought about that much. What do you find attractive about a woman? About a woman besides... I don't think she's a 10, but I'll tell you who wears some fucking badass shoes.

Chelsea Handler. Really? Chelsea Handler knows how to wear a shoe on. It screams, dirty animal. And that's what a man wants to see on your feet is dirty animal. Hilarious. He really does.

Well, I was rocking my Nike Cortez is this past weekend in the airport. That don't mean nothing. You're found it. What is? I was the smart girl. I prefer to be the smart girl traveling, not the hot girl. So how long have you been doing comedy now? Um, nine years.

And the sketches got you into, stand-up or you were already doing stand-up when you had the sketches? What happened? What happened was I moved to LA to be an actress and while I was out here hustling and trying to make it happen and nothing was really happened. I had done like a couple commercials. So it's not nothing. I did a couple commercials and I did like one co-star role where I said three things on a sitcom. But other than that, it was pretty hard to catch a break. I was randomly at this church that's very entertainment based, right? So there's a lot of producers, actors, dancers, a lot of creators at this church. And there was a stand-up comedian who was teaching

a class there. And she asked me if I wanted to take her class because I was in the Tuesday night improv class, right? So we would just do improv games and whatever. And she was like, hey, do you want to take my stand-up class? And I was like, well, is it free? And she's like, yeah, I guess so, right? I had never thought of being a stand-up comedian. And so I took this class and I thought to myself, this nail salon character I've been doing since I was a kid because I grew up in San Jose where there's a lot of Vietnamese people. I had a lot of Vietnamese friends growing up. So it was like, I know I do this accent. And I always tell the story to my friends about getting my nails done and everybody laughs every time I tell the story. So I'll try that as a joke. And I remember I brought

it up to her. I was like, hey, I do this nail salon thing. And she was like, like, no, nail salon jokes are so hacky. Everybody has one. I would just avoid that. And I was like, you know what, but I don't know if people do it the way I do it. So I'm going to try it anyways. And so I did this nail salon bit amongst a couple other jokes just about me and my name and how I sound like my last name is super white, but I'm Mexican and all this kind of stuff. And our graduation from the class was we had to perform at the Queen Mary when they, had their comedy club there, right? And so it was a bringer night. Everybody brought their friends and family out. So it was going to be a warm room because everybody knew this is a graduating class of

beginners. And she had everybody write material for like two months and she picked everybody's five minutes set. She kind of helped everybody. Okay, this is your strongest stuff. Do that. And for my set, she was like, you know what, just do all your jokes. And so I did 12 minutes my first time. I've just everything that I was writing in her class. And I closed with that nail salon bit on my first real show. And that nail salon bit is what ended up blowing up on YouTube and blowing up my spot. And so from that, I started getting people reaching out to me on MySpace. This is when MySpace was hot.

Because nobody really knew how to get a hold of me. So people were leaving me messages and they wanted me to perform all over the place. Like I was getting messages from Australia to the Philippines. to all over the states, Atlanta, Ohio, hey, when are you coming here? When are you coming to perform? I only had like 12 minutes of material because I just took this class for fun.

Like I wasn't trying to be a comedian. It was free on Tuesday night. You know, I was just out here hustling, you know? So I was like, I remember in the beginning, I would fight it. And I would go to like open mics and, you know, whatever random nights at the improv or wherever. And I would feel so insecure

because I was like, I wasn't a comic. I wasn't trying to be a comic. And so, like, I would go into these places and feel like people were, like, judging me and upset with me because my YouTube video had blown up and stuff like that, which I'm sure there was a lot of people who were. But it was just like, hey, everybody, I don't know what I'm doing. And so it was, like, my defense to be like, no, I'm not a comic. I'm an actress. I'm just doing this for fun.

Like, I thought I was making it better by saying, no, I'm not a comic. I'm not a comic. But then it wasn't until on. my space. Somebody hit me up and was asking me if I wanted to perform for this big Mormon event in like San Diego or Long Beach or somewhere. And they were like, yeah, we're going to get a few different comics and we'll do a competition. And the winner is going to get, you know, a prize, money. So I was like, yeah, I guess I'll do it, right? So I went, there was a few different comics there and I performed and I ended up tying for first place in their contest that they did.

And there was just like hundreds of Mormon kids. And me and I forget, I think it was a guy named Duan Owens who, my friend Duan, I think it was him who we tied the contest and I won $600. And that was the most money I had ever made in my life doing one thing. You know what I mean? Like at one time, in one night I just made $600 and it blew my mind. So I was like, oh, maybe I should be a comedian. Maybe I should try to do this for real then.

And so this video blew up and ended up getting an agent. And people wanted to book me at clubs, but I didn't have enough material. So they would, like, for instance, the improv in San Jose put me up. And it was like a Wednesday night that I was headlining the show, and it was sold out. But they had to put up eight comedians ahead of me because I didn't have enough material to actually headline a show. So these eight comedians go up and I close out the show with my material and that's how I started. And I remember that and I sold out the improv. You've been to see how it was the improv.

It's like 450 people there and completely sold out. And I remember I got a whopping $500 for that show. But I didn't know any better. It was like, yep, 500 bucks. Woo! You know, but it still didn't register to me. It was like, I feel like I should probably get a little bit more. because it is sold out and they did charge people tickets you know but it was like i didn't know what

i was doing it was so brand new to me and um i i just started writing more material after that and so by the end of that year 2007 was the year that changed my life i went from that youtube video coming out in like january february and there was like four million views on this one video just in that month and then to march where i ended up booking an agent and a manager and by may i was on mad tv i had booked Mad TV, and then I wrote more material over the summer. And by the end of the year, I was touring across the country with my stand-up, and I'd got to about 40, 45 minutes of material. So it was enough for me to finish out a show.

But if a joke didn't work, I didn't have anything else to go to because all I had was this, these are, this is every single joke that I know right now. I'm about to do it. I remember they were saying, some club owner, I like to say it was a guy from Brea, but I'm not sure. And he was telling me that they put somebody behind you one day, and it was the most embarrassing thing. Because when you got off, half the room got up and fucking walked out.

Like, they were there to see you, and they put you as a feature somewhere. And then they had a headline. And after you, like, there was no interest. Like, that's it. We came to see Angela Johnson, period. Yeah. It must have been. But fuck it.

It's exciting. That's what you did. You know what? You made a bang. That's what it's all about. It was hard. It was hard for me because this was a new world for me. and it's a guy's world.

You know what I mean? Like, it's, I'm working with a bunch of guys, you know? And I don't know exactly which situation that was, but I remember that happening a couple times. And so I've really only featured, like done actual feature weekends three times in my entire life. And that started happening, what you just said, that kind of situation to the point where I was starting to offend people. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they were like...

Mind-poggling. They just get up. Yeah. So they were like, we need to start giving her her own weekends. And so they started headlining me because I could sell tickets, even though I didn't have a lot of material. Right. No, that's it. So that's how it started happening because I was offending people, not knowing I was doing that.

Because I, like I said, I was so new. I was like, okay, yeah. Oh, go do radio in the morning? Okay, sure. You're going to pick me up and take me to radio station. That's my first time doing radio interviews. I didn't know that I'm stepping on the headliner's toes because that's the headliner's job, not my job. I was just doing what the comedy club

told me to because in my world, the comedy club was my boss. They hired me, so they're like, go do this. Okay. What do I do when I get there? Just be funny. Okay. You know, it's crazy that you were surprised that I watched sex in the city. I'm sitting here looking at you going, why would you be surprised? I love all that stuff.

I'd rather hang out with women than hang out with guys. You know, when I was a kid, my mom was really hot, and she had a hot girlfriend. So they would get dressed in front of me when I was five and six. And I got so good at picking clothes with them that they would just come over and go let him. No way. I'm really good with that stuff. I rather, I could, listen, I could get a woman laid.

I could find the woman a man. I could find the woman. If they listen to me, you're the best wing woman ever. You think I'm kidding. I could get any woman laid. If you tell me what dilemmas you have, I'll walk you into a bar or whatever, a library and go play it this way. and I will find you a fucking man in five fucking days guaranteed or your money back.

You think I'm kidding? I love it. I am that good. I am that good. When I was a kid, women would come over to my mom. She would go out with a girlfriend. My mom at a bar.

I'd be crying. I'd be crying. No, take me with you. And they'd be coming out with bras on and panties in the 60s and going, fresh from Cuba, going, what do you think, Os Antonio? And I would go that one.

And they would go, I told you he'd like it. And they would listen to what the fuck I had to say. I've always, if it's a two in a football game or sitting with five women and looking at women's shoes, I go hang out and look at women's shoes. I can't stand football with guys. I can't stand doing anything with guys. I can't stand being with more than three or four men because my mom always had women around.

My mom always thought I was going to grow up to be gay. And my mom would always, always beat me up, like not beat me up, but mentally say to me, when you get older, you got to make sure you like titties and shit. You got to make sure you eat pussy. Because that's how scared she was. I was always surrounded by women. They played cards at my house. You know, they brought their chihuahuas to the fucking house.

So that's why I'm such a... I love women. I rather... I could look at a woman. It's hysterical. I could teach a woman everything. For a woman, tells me, I'm having a hard time with a man. Come on.

Let's do this. Do you do your own column? Your own advice column? No, no, because every woman's different. Every woman's different. I'm way better than the math.com guy. I can look at a guy and look at a girl and put you right fucking together.

Hey, listen, if you ever want to learn Jiu-Jitsu... Well, hey, if you want to practice, Jakee. If you don't want to learn Jiu-Jitsu, you know your biggest fan is Eddie Bravo. Eddie Bravo's one of the baddest jiu-jitsu guys in the country. Eddie Bravo's who really, really turned me on to you 10 years ago. Really? Yeah, from Fatima Kui-Qui.

I mean, he fucking used to torment me in hotel rooms because he's Joe Rogan's best friend. Yeah, he's Joe Rogan's best friend. I would love to. I started taking Krav Maga fighting classes. She was with the Jews. That's why I said, look, if I'm going to learn how to fight, it's going to be from a country who's always fighting somebody.

Like, that's who I want to teach me how to fight. Not a bad idea. That's what I'm trying to. So I started taking Kravma and God fighting class, and I loved it. But the place where I was taking it is all the way downtown, and I live all the way damn near Encino. You know what I mean?

So it's like an hour to get there, an hour back. It's at 7 in the morning or 12 noon. And it's just so far. But I loved it. They got Cromaganda Valley. I know, but I like my guys. They're really good. Yeah, Eddie Bravo was your biggest way before Mad TV, way before all the men.

Can you introduce us? Yeah, he just did the podcast last Sunday, and I told him the other day. And Angela's coming on. He trains and that? He teaches. He has a 10th planet jiu-jitsu, but they're downtown. He's opening up a new building. He's Mexican.

He's downtown. He's your biggest fan, bro, since he used to torment me. Maybe he'll come to my house and... He would torment me and Joe Rogan. Really? No way. No way. So it's really funny.

That's nice to hear your peers that like you and appreciate you. You know what I mean? Because I never know what my peers think about me. And it's a fine line. It's a fine line. because as comedians, we do what we do for the fans, for the people who are actually buying tickets and supporting your career.

That's who you do it for, for yourself and for them. Because your peers aren't the ones who are paying to see your show and help keep you alive. You know what I mean? But there's some sort of validation that comes from a mutual respect where you feel validated

when somebody who does what you do appreciates what you do as well. And so I feel like things happened so fast for me in the beginning with my stand-up career and even with going on to develop a really strong fan base that I have some really loyal fans that love me and come out to my shows every time I come to their city, you know? And because of that, I know I ruffled some feathers and whatever it was, but also because I don't on my off days hang out at the club here. I don't hang out at the improv or the laugh factory or the comedy store. It's like I go on the road and then I come home. And then on my two days off, I'll go visit my Godkids and their mom who's a second grade teacher.

You know, like they're not in the comedy world. They're not in the business. No, no. You don't have to be involved in this all the time. I hang out with them and I have dinner with them. Then I'll go do game night with my other friends who, you know, they're not in the industry either. And I get back to reality and life. No, you need balance with this.

And then I go back on the road. You need fucking balance or you'll kill yourself. Yeah. So when I'm on the road and I'm doing my show, I don't get to meet all the other comics who are out there. I don't get to hang out and have FaceTime and know who they are and stuff. And so anything that I heard of or know is just word of mouth that gets back to me somehow. And so it's like I never know what, who likes me and who doesn't. So I try to just put my blinders on and stay focused on my path.

And then when I hear that somebody is a fan or does appreciate what I do, It always, you know, makes me feel good. Like, oh, that's dope. Yeah, no, she really likes it. You know what I mean? He's always really liked it. It's cool to hear that. And so, thank you.

If I go on the road, I go to the store on Tuesday nights just to tune up because I don't want to get on stage on a Thursdays. Yeah. Or a four-day layoff. I have ideas on Monday. I want to put on paper on Tuesdays. If I'm on the road, if I'm home all week with my family, I only go out three nights because I have a two-and-a-half-year-old girl. You follow me. Yeah.

I got to be home. I got the podcast two days a week. And that's the thing. When I first got here, Lee and I had to talk on the podcast Wednesday about dedication to your career. Yeah. When you first get here,

you have to dive into this. The mistake I made was not having balance. Everything in my life then was comedy and partying, you know? And then I got rid of party and it was all comedy. Like the first four years, I was with this one. woman that I've been with for 15 years, I didn't see her Christmas. That didn't mean nothing to me. Comedy was what I did. But now I have a different balance, and I try to, you know, it's amazing

how many directions you could get pulled in a week if you let it. Oh, yeah. And unless you put your foot down and go, these are my priorities. You know, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, at 5 o'clock, unless you're giving me an envelope, I could care less what you're thinking. I pick my daughter up at school. Yeah. You know, I like to walk around. And the more, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday and Thursday, like the walker. I like doing it. Unless there's something better than that, which there is it. Nothing that's better than walking my daughter is $20,000.

Yeah. That's what it'll take you to not walk my daughter to school. You know, there's little things that that's balanced. That's where you get your material from. That's where you get your strength doing those other things. You know, and I know even musicians when you watch behind the music, you know, yeah, Guns and Roses had their heyday. But they all had kids now.

And now you see them at Encino at the mall. every time I see the guy from the foothed fighters, he's at the Sherman Oaks Gallery, walking around with his daughter, telling TMZ to get the fuck away from it. It's hilarious. But I know he makes time for his daughter. Yeah.

You know, when you first get here, your career is everything. You see these women that get married in Hollywood, when you look at these big weddings with fucking pigeons and white people and black people, everybody's dressed in white. And in your back of your mind, you don't want to be a cynic or whatever that word is,

but you're like this is going to last six fucking months. Eventually he fucks the baby. What's the black guy that married the Mexican chick basso? Remember years ago with the pigeons? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Tony Parker and... Yeah.

He fucked the ugly fat maid and shit that the fucking one that Arnold fucked at the end of the black... You know, but what was all the pigeons and everybody from the View and Cherry Shepard? Sherry Shepard got married. Another one with pigeons. No, not Sherry. Yeah, she got married two and then they're fighting for the fucking baby. In the womb. I think you're talking about Star Jones.

Oh, Star Jones, too. She got married and divorced. Everybody who has pigeons at that fucking wedding gets fucking divorce. First of all I think it's dubs. And everybody who gets married pigeons too. Dubs. White suits, all that shit is the quick answer for fucking divorce. Because then you have a career and nobody's going to take away from that career.

We're selfish in a way. It takes a big person to go, you know what? Fuck Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm staying at home with my wife. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you say. Nothing you present to me is on. be better. Every week my booking aging.

Last week he sent me something. Nashville wants you to come in on Tuesday and Wednesday. That's fucking great. That's great. Guess what? I don't do nothing on Tuesdays on Wednesdays. Thursday and Friday, you know this. So next time you last time I'm just going to hang up on you because you can't be that stupid. We've been together for four years.

You can't be that stupid. I can't care less what goes on. Because then you put your career before your family, which you know, you only get hot one time. If you talk to Gabriel, Gabriel, tell you, this is only going to happen once. In three years, I might be in the house.

Yeah. I might be stuck in Bray. You never know. It's funny, you said about other comics. I was on a plane the other day. And you talked to some people that sit next to you. And I was talking to this guy, and the guy asked me, he was going to ask you a personal question. He goes, what do you think of Amy Schumer? And I go, she's the hot girl right now. You know, she's the big girl in the neighborhood, whatever. He goes, I don't really find her.

He goes, I find her entertaining, but not enough for what's going on here. What's your opinion on that? What's your opinion on this? What is a comic feel? Like, right now I'm thinking about who's the girl that wrote two broke girls? Whitney. Whitney. Like, Whitney was hot last year at this time.

Now it's Hamie Schumer. What does Whitney feel? Like, it's more competitive for women in a way than what it is for guys. Like, I realized 12 years ago for me to have a career, I couldn't worry about what Angela Johnson does. Right. I wish Angela Johnson good. She makes me fucking laugh when I see it.

But I'm not worried about Angela Johnson. You know, that's, you know, when you first get here, you get a call. Oh, Angela Johnson got a $3 million deal. Fuck up! You know, people get mad. Yeah. I never wanted to be that guy. Yeah.

I knew that if Angela got a deal, I was close. Mm-hmm. I'm friends with Annette. I'm fucking close. Yep. I'm close. That means I'm coming up next or two more or something. That's how I always looked at things, you know.

Both of you, in a way, kind of blew up from the internet. internet. Like you blew up from podcasting and all that and from your YouTube videos and like I was, I heard about you from Mad TV. Like so what, that first YouTube video in like you were talking about earlier how some comics

might look down upon you and you you've talked about it how some comics used to talk shit. So does that did that help you not care or not have to worry about what other comics are doing? Listen, they talk shit about Justin Bieber. Yeah. You know, obviously,

Angela Johnson did something correctly because 10 years later she's sitting at this fucking table. Obviously she covered the spread, which is the most important thing. I'll tell you who pissed me off years ago because I always knew he was a fucking Fugazi. And I'll say this on the thing. The fucking save Pedro.

Oh. That always pissed me off. Who? Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite. I could tell you one thing, that this kind of career, is based on one thing.

You could either pay me now or pay me later. Angela said something very important that when all this stuff happened, she had a catch up. She had a sitting right. She had a sitting right, and she took some lumps along the way. Angela, I'll fucking tell you.

She took some lumps along the way and she had a sitting right to catch up, you know, to catch up. But she caught up. That's why she's sitting here. There's people that have gotten breaks from internet or something like that that that I've looked at and go,

that's a funny thing. But he's not going to be able to do that next week. Yeah. Okay, and that's what happens a lot with Santa Night Live. That's what happens a lot with Mad TV. You get these kids with a camera in college. They could do it once or two times. They're at Improv Olympic.

Everybody's jumping up and down with fucking giggling. They all got trust funds. They all got visa cards in their pocket. You know, do this shit week in and week out, bitch. That's what we come in. You know, and that's why I used to go to auditions and freeze up at auditions, Angela Johnson. Once I got to an audition, I'd see somebody from Ocean's 11, and that frees up.

And then in the back of my mind, I'd say, wait a second. A, they never followed Paul Mooney. And B, they never did comedy at halftime of a Buffalo Saber game. Yeah. When people are booing at you and throwing shit at. After that, I was saved. It was like John the Baptist threw me in the water and threw water on me. After that buffalo thing, I don't take shit from nobody because I survived that.

And after that, I would go in the room and they call me, go, Joe, you booked their own. And I go, because I thought that way. I go, you can't take it. You can't take the work. away from somebody. There's so many, it's really, it comes down to perspective, which is basically what you're saying. Like, you can go in the room and you see the person from Ocean's 11, or, you know,

I go into a room and I see a big name actress, you know, home girl who was on, I forget the name of the show. She was on some sitcom, right? And their show just ended. It didn't get canceled. It just ran its course. And now she was out on the circuit getting her next gig and hear me and her are sitting in the waiting room to go in for this role.

So immediately, my first thought is I get insecure, like, oh, great, this chick, you know, she just came off of seven seasons, you know, killing it. The cast and director comes out, oh, how are you? Oh, my God. I saw Johnny the other day. Yes. Did he make his gumbo? Oh, my God, I love his gumbo.

And also, you're like, fuck, I ain't getting this rule. Exactly. God, damn it. Exactly. And you get all insecure and then they're like, oh, my God, okay, we'll talk later. Okay, Angela, you ready? Well, yeah, I guess. Just go through the court.

You might as well just audition me to hurry up and get to her. You know what I mean? So those are my first thoughts initially. But then if you stop and think about it and you go, wait a minute, I worked hard to get to a place where here I am auditioning sitting right next to this chick, who just caught off a show of seven seasons that was pretty successful. And here we are. Now we're both level.

We're on the same field. You know what I'm saying? It's the first of the month. That's what I always saying. Ding, ding, round one. Let's go. Who's going to get it. We're all the same in this motherfucker.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, you were on a great show that lasted seven years. But when you auditioned, I wasn't auditioned. I wasn't in the room. But now here we are. We both are. So now you have a different kind of competition, whatever.

Even though your auditions, it's, I have to look at it the competitions between me and me only. If I, I can do my best because they never know what they're looking for, what they want. Because honestly, the girl who said next to me, she's blonde hair, white lady. Like, they're just seeing comedic actresses. They just wanted the funny. So I was like, at this point, I know my funny. I know my comedic timing. I know how to work a room.

So it's you get in there, you do the best you can do, and you don't worry about what she's going to do, what the next girl's going to do, because you're doing your own interpretation of what you read on the paper, and then what else you can season it with yourself. You know what I mean? And I go in there and I'm like, well, let me just do me and rock it out. And then you get it, you get it. But it comes down to, you know, your perspective. You can be insecure and be like, oh, man, or you can be like, yeah, I'm auditioning with this chick. I always call it my balls checklist. You know, that's what it basically is.

You know, we have this thing that it's just a doubt. You know, everybody has a doubt. At one time, you have a doubt. And all of a sudden, you know, shit. I got an audition one time. And I, for some reason, I'm like, are you available Monday? I don't know.

And I looked at De Niro and Stallone. And I was like, oh, I looked at the director of me, had gotten into a beef. Uh-oh. I go, fuck. Uh-oh. And I said, you know what? I'm on cancel this audition.

And then my balls checklist. I go, no. I had a beef with them. Guess what I have to do? I have to go in there and do so well that the beef gets erased. Yep. Yep. It doesn't matter.

Joey fucked it up. That's the only way. And I went in there. And on the way out, I apologize. I told the cast director. I go, listen, do me if I was a Puerto Rican guy. I go, apologize to Pete for me. Come him.

I was fucked up. last time and I was doing it. He goes, he called you in. Wow. So in fact, he said for you to come back verbatim and you got it. I went back verbatim and he gave it to me. Here I was in my office at my house thinking, I'm not going to go and I'm going to cancel this. You have to have a ball's checklist. That's good. You think about what you've done and the work that you've done to get to this place. Who am I not? What do you mean? What do you mean? He's here to take this role. First off, I drove to Santa Monica. I'm fucking pissed already. Number two, I drove at two. That means I missed the special at Benny Hanna.

On Fifth Street and Benny Hanna down there, that's the... Whenever I get an audition for Fifth Street, I'm fucking excited because I catch the Benny Hanna buffet. But if 2 o'clock I catch... Dukkah, now this park, yeah, can't fucking go there. So that's all the things that add to the anger

of going into the audition. It's all these little things that go on. The same thing when I go on stage, man. Every time I'm going to go on stage, I get there, I fly in, the luggage, the whole thing, the hotel room, the room service. You get to the thing. And two minutes before you have all this doubt.

They're not going to like me. There's too many old people in the audience. Oh, yeah. You know, this, that. And then you go, you know what? I'm just going to look at the lights and unload on these fuckers. Uh-huh. And everybody's laughing.

Everybody's jumping up and down. You're like, what was all that negative for in my own head? Your own head, your own perspective is what you project on to people when really you just know you're good at what you do? Look at you. You weigh what, 89 pounds of a rock in your pocket, you're tiny. And you go up there and fuck these motherfuckers up. And you go up there and fuck these motherfuckers up. You just turn into a leopard.

You go from being a nice, sweet girl from San Jose, who was a cheerleader, rah, rah, whatever, into becoming this confident, you know, that you're bulletproof. I've watched you on stage. I watched one of your specials, the one on Nuevo. And I'm like, this little fucking girl is bulletproof. She's up there dropping her knowledge, like, you don't give a fuck. Thank you.

And for somebody at home, you know, they see a woman. And they have all this negative connotation about women comics. At home, I'm watching you on where we're going. Look at the balls on this fucking girl. Look at the smiling up there, you know, having a good time, you know. I love all that shit. That's where my thing comes in. I watch Stand Up to laugh.

When I leave the house at 8 o'clock, I always see who's going to be on Letterman, who's going to be on the other guy, just to see if it's one of my friends. So I could come home and laugh. And I get home and I get disappointed. When you don't make me laugh, I get fucking pissed off, man. You motherfucker, you opened up with that joke. I hate that fucking joke. God damn it, I'm going to bed, you fuck.

I cheer for comics. That's why I get pissed off. I'm not here at home cheering against the comic. I'm cheering for that motherfucker. Like, I'll see someone. I go, yeah, how come you didn't do it? And I'll see him at the then. I'll pull them over and God.

You did that joke at the story. It was brilliant. Why are you doing on Lennox? Oh, they told me I couldn't do the joke. God. Why? It's a great joke. It's clean, you know?

And to answer your question, too, when you were asking me what I thought about the Amy Schumers and the Youngcoms and stuff, is exactly what you just said that I root for them and I cheer for them. And especially not just because, like you said, I root for the comic and I want the comedians to win, but especially me being a female and seeing other females being empowered and given the opportunity, not saying given where they're at because they worked very hard to get there, but given the opportunity to show them how good they are at what they're doing. And just like you said, seeing them do it makes sense.

me think I'm not too far away then. She's paving away. She's doing it. She's opening the door for people like me to come in. And same thing. Somebody might be looking at me. I'm paving the way and opening a door for another female comedian to go and do theaters across the country, whatever it is. So I look at the Amy Schumers and the Whitney Cummings and I think they're inspiring to me. But at the same time, as artists, you have to admire to a point where, you're, you know, you know, you're, you're you're cheering them on. And then the second you start feeling envy or not happy with where you're at

because of where somebody else is, that's when I have to put my blinders on and not pay attention to what they're doing so that I can refocus on what I'm doing. So I will cheer them on and be so happy for them until I start feeling in my heart a little bit of like questioning my own journey and like, oh man, how come I'm not doing this?

Up right there, that's when I got to put those blinders on and be like, you know what, let me not scroll through Instagram anymore because I'm starting to get insecure about where I'm at because I'm right where I'm supposed to be. So only focus on where I'm at and continue growing and regaining that confidence and growing where you're planted like I was saying earlier. And then back to cheering on my friends again, cheering on, you know, people who I admire and I think are funny. And I'm happy for them that they've gotten to this point. You know what I mean? So that's kind of where I'm at.

Do you ever think that when you put your blinders on that you might be doing it so much? Like you put your head down on work and you don't realize where you've gotten? So like if there's young people listening to this who are young actors, young comedians, if they walk into that audition room where you were like, oh, the casting director wants that well-known person, you're that well-known person to a lot of people now. And you do feel like you might not realize it? Because I do it sometimes. I put my head down and you work for a few months and then you get up.

You're like, oh, wait. All this has happened. has changed and it's hard sometimes to see where you're so blinders. There's two blinders. There's the blinders that you put on not to see what the fuck's really going on. Then there's the blinders you put on that in other words

it means rolling up your sleeves. That's what putting blinders on I mean in my world. It's time to roll up your sleeves. Don't worry about what Amy Schumer's doing. Don't worry about what Lee's doing. Don't worry about what Angela Johnson's doing or Felipe. You got a job to do. That's it. He got a deal. God bless him. He got a deal.

What did he do to get that deal? That's what you got to do. Not watch TM fucking Z and wait to get pictured by TMZ because everybody thinks they put the wrong work in. You got to do what these 10 successful people are doing. Right. And that's the blinders. That's another word for going.

I got to roll up my sleeves and not worry about what people are doing. Yeah. And even to touch on that where you're saying doing what they're doing, meaning the work hard ethic because my gift is not Amy Schumer's gift. Whitney's gift is not my gift. Felipe's gift is not your gift. Like everybody has their own. strength and gift, but what we have in common is our work ethic to work hard and be focused on

what we do best and excel at that. I always tell people, do you and do you well. You know what I mean? So whatever your strength is, work it and be a good person while you're doing it. But that's, that's what it is, you know, do what they're doing is work hard, but work hard at what you're good at. You're writing this shit down, Lee? Oh, I don't see you're fucking taking notes. Copsucker. He got the record on. It's so weird. I was looking at you that time on Nuevo when you had that special before this one.

I haven't watched this one. You know, I was watching you, and I was thinking about Jody Foster in Silence of the Lambs. There's one partner with Jody Forston and Silence of the Lambs when she walks into a room filled with Met. There's not another woman in the room. She's just filled with Met. And they look at her, and they all turn her away. And the guy comes in from the FBI, and she's got to come. clear them out.

You ever see that movie? You ever see? A long time ago. When they take the chick out and they got to put shit under the nasal spray because the girl smells really bad. She's got to chase all those guys out of it. And she's like, come on, guys. The family didn't want this. Come on. You guys got to get out of you. And they were going out one by one. I'll never forget what it felt like for her. Like if a woman had to do that in real life, I'd get 20 guys out of a room. That's what a lot of people, like when people make the statement that female comics aren't funny. It's fuck,

I want to punch him in the fucking mouth. It does something to me. You know, for starters, let me tell how stupid you are, motherfucker. Turn on Channel 5, turn on KTLA at 2 o'clock. I love Lucy's on. It's not, I love Louis. It's I love Lucy, bitch. 50 years before Louis C.K.

was even an itching his daddy's pants. Lucille Ball was making fucking people laugh. Her and a Cuban dude who had to say, hey, a fucking Cuban dude. For all you, smart Scientologist dumb fucks. A Cuban dude had to go, hey, how come we're not shooting three cameras?

Why are we shooting with one? And he became a genius. Desi Liu Productions became a genius for the three cameras shoot. Meanwhile, you got all these fucking Gentiles walking around Hollywood. We're the smartest people in the world. Meanwhile, a fucking guy that couldn't even speak English, that his parents sent here

by himself had to go, why are we only shooting with one camera? Why don't we put three and shoot three instead of one? My God, that's a good idea. So for you, for a comic, a male comic to make the statement that a female comic isn't funny, drives me crazy. Drives me crazy. And it has all the time. When I put a female comic on the podcast, I get repercussions three or four days later.

No matter who I put on this, there's three or four guys that go, if I want to hear of female comics, I'd watch the fucking view. Yeah. That girl wasn't fucking funny. Who get, did you listen to her story? Yeah. Did you listen to her what she went through, something that you couldn't fucking even imagine going through? You wouldn't have the balls to walk into a room like that. So I applaud women comics constantly.

When I see a woman comic, there's some I don't like. There's some that drive me fucking nuts. But for the more, I hate when they compare comedic actresses to stand-up comics. It drives me fucking crazy. That drives me crazy. Yeah, she's funny when the director's in the room. And they say cut and then they edit. That's fucking great.

But to do what Angela Johnson does at the Bray Improv, Saturday Night Late Show, or that thing we did up in San Jose. Yeah, that's a jungle. That's a fucking jungle. They're drinking $8 beers. It's like a Raider Game Light. Yep. It's like a Raider Game Light.

Sure is. Why do you think female comics get, like a lot of the, one of the complaints I hear a lot is, all she talks about is sex. Not all female comics, but that's something that I hear a lot, but a lot of male comics talk about sex. I don't know where the line is. A guy sleeps with ten women. He's a hero. A woman sleeps with ten guys. she's a whore. We've been going through this since day

one. It's something that's etched in us deep down inside, just the way things are, man. Do every female comic speaks about sex? No. Sometimes, I worked with a gay guy this week that fucking killed me. A little Mexican gay guy that destroyed me. Talking

about dating Asian guys and shit. That's my new favorite genre of comedy. There's gay guys that are out there. I don't want a gay guy that's not playing to be gay. Like when I first moved to L.A., the gay guys were gay but they were playing straight I don't like that shit

if you're gay I wish to open the valve bitch stop fucking around I want to hear about your sexual encounters I want to hear about what type of men you want he was talking about Filipino and shit I was in the back I thought I had to get air given to me I love all that stuff and some of it was sexual but he was clean

he was very clean he was just doing the type of guys he liked I like more listen I like to laugh me too funny funny is funny funny is funny you know Well, you know, I fired people for saying a fart joke at my club. Listen, look at the audience. They laugh, right?

Who cares what you thought? You're too stuck on the Simpsons. You know, there's people that just stuck on a particular thing. I think funny is funny. I watch that Darwin-Greg. I laugh. What's the girl? Not Darwin and Greg.

The one afterward. Oh, Willing Grace. Will and Grace. The two people aren't even funny. The two in the back, Sean and the girl, are hysterical. I would watch that show and cheer for her. It should have been called Jack and Karen. I did Children's Hospital with her, and I pulled her aside.

I told, I go, you've made me fucking laugh, Jack. Yeah. A lot. That crazy girl. She's not that crazy on Children's Hospital. But she was crazy on whatever the... Will and Grace. Will and Grace.

She's great. No, I don't like that non-woman statement. Yeah. It's like a racist statement. It really is. It's like a racist statement to me. And there's, it comes down to, there's a lot of the times of just you can't please everybody type.

of thing because there's been the people who like you said are all she talks about is sex she's just trying to be shocking to like hang with the guys type of thing and then i've had people be upset with me because i'm not dirty and be like i don't like her comedy because you know she i'm too clean or whatever it is and i remember there was um these two guys they must have been teenagers or something because they were really stupid on my wall um on my facebook wall having a conversation with each other, but on my wall. So I could read everything they were saying, and they were talking about how much they didn't like me.

And one of the guys, his quote for why he didn't like me was like, yeah, she didn't even say one cuss word. She's not even funny. And I was like, wait, so cuss means funny? I'm so confused right now. Like, there wasn't even a valid reason for not, she didn't even say one cuss word. This is stupid.

Wait, what? So it's like those are like, oh, girls just try to be dirty. And then if you're not dirty, then it's like, she's not even, she's not a real comic. I can't listen to 45 minutes of dirty. My head would blow up. I want to hear something else. I'm dirty, but I'm not dirty. I'm dirty in my language, but I'm not dirty.

You know what I'm saying? I say fuck, but I'm not dirty. Yeah. It's not like I'm doing a bunch of sex material. I'm switching it up. I'm talking about my Jewish friend there and other things. It's interesting because, Angelie, you don't know, but I'm not a comic. Before this, I was a TV editor.

And I met Joey almost five years ago. And for the first couple of years, we've been doing this podcast for almost like three years, something like that. It took me a while to get used to that kind of response. Like, I don't have the thick skin that you guys have from years of audition saying no or bad audiences. And for me, one of the things that I do now, not, I don't do it as a tool. But when I notice, like, I'll go to, like, Joe Rogan's Instagram or Dana White. His is huge. And they're way bigger than I'll ever be.

But they get more hate than I'll ever get. And it's just, it's, it's amazing. Like, it used to bother me. Yeah. I used to go back and forth. And now, now I just don't even respond. I, yeah. It's, it was weird for me at first, but I've gotten used to.

And yeah, you just can't even. Like, I love, like, on your Facebook wall, they're having a conversation. Like, what's the point of having it on your Facebook wall? The people. who purposely at you, at sign you, to make sure you read their tweet about how much they hate you, that blows

my mind to me because I'm like, okay, sure you didn't like my comedy, but the fact that you feel the need to make sure that I know that you think I'm A, B, and C. Like, that stuff always blows my mind. And so, in the beginning, it bothered me a lot, and I would

be lying if I said it still doesn't bother me because it does affect me. and I always thought though the people like these bigger celebrities who are, you know, in the spotlight, the amount of hate that they get, how I always wonder how they deflect it and keep focus on, well, I'm still going to do me. And a good example of that is Kim Kardashian. So many people love her, so many people hate her just for being her. You know what I mean?

So no matter what your opinion is on her, I always wondered, how does she just keep on marching when people are so adamant about how much they hate her? And so one day I was going through my Twitter and somebody was just tweeting me some really hateful things. And I was like, man, people are just so mean. I was starting to affect me. And I went to Kim Kardashian's page, her Twitter page. And there's a part where you can see all her at anybody who said at Kim Kardashian, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you can read all of those. So I clicked on that to see what people were saying to her.

The first three tweets were at Kim Kardashian, I wish you would kill yourself. At Kim Kardashian, and you're a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, my God. First of all, the fact that you formed an opinion about somebody you've never met to the point where you want them to kill themselves, you're a terrible person.

But to then go say it to them. So I'm wondering, how does she read these tweets and still get up and keep going and do the next thing and do the next thing. And, you know, she has 48 million Instagram followers. 48 million. I have 212,000. And I get Instagram comments from people.

They're just like, you're not even funny. You're not even this and that. I don't even know. What is that? A laugh track? You know, all this kind of stuff. I can't imagine at 48 million followers. She probably gets like one a minute, like one or two angry, awful tweets a minute.

It's a tough skin that you really have to put in perspective and kind of feel sorry for a person. I'll tell you what, I love music. I fucking hate Cheap Trick. I don't know why. I just don't like Cheap Trick growing up. Just didn't like Cheap Trip going up. I like Led Zeppelin. I like Black Sabbath.

Just didn't like Cheap Trick. Do you think at any time in my life I would have the time to go on Cheap Trick's wall and say, I don't fucking like you? I would never do that to somebody. The other day, I took a 5 a.m. flight. I bumped into Eliza's messenger. I took a picture with her. Do you know I got on the plane? I looked at my Twitter and somebody goes,

ew, that Eliza age 10 years or that she's just not having makeup on? So really. I was going to lay into him, but I go, you know what? That guy is probably single. Liser's his mother. She's the only person I could tolerate him. I'm just going to say a prayer for him and not even fucking respond. Yeah.

Because if that's what you thought, keep it to yourself. Yeah. But to write that, Eliza saw that. They put at Eliza. Yeah. It's six in the morning. That's what you need to see at fucking six in the morning as a woman. So I get it.

There's people that just wake up and want to rock. They just want to ruin somebody else's fucking day. There's a lot of things I hate. I tell Lee all of them. Lee knows all the shit I hate. I fucking hate subway. Do you think I go to their yell page? No, I just don't fucking go to subway.

That's it. Just don't go to subway. But I don't have the time to put my hate for subway. It's not that I hate Subway. I just think it's killing America. It's Turkey. It's turkey salami. Give me fucking real salami.

I'm going there. You have $5 for a sandwich. But I just never understood that part of it. I get shit all the time. Oh, my God. I get stuff that's crazy. And I just sometimes I respond, depending on how I'm feeling. But I've learned over the years that you get nothing from responding.

These people are in hell on their own. Yeah. Yeah. For you to write that to somebody at 7 in the morning, you have to be in your own private hell. Something's going on with you. You're looking. You're going out.

You're going to give somebody the finger of the light and that person's going to pull a gun out and shoot you. Yeah. That's the day you're going to have. But that's the day you're creating for yourself. Yeah. When you see that on the news, God got shot at the light.

We don't know what that fucking guy told to them. There's people who just have a gun who are having a bad day. I just left the house from my wife. we had an argument. I got a gun in the car. This guy cuts me off and gives me the finger. You don't know what other people are dealing or thinking. I just never understood the whole internet hate thing. I never did.

I hear a lot, it's good that they have an opinion. Like, so I've heard that people have that argument that if it's either they love you or they hate you. Like if they don't care about you, then that's bad. Do you agree with that or is that? Well, it's also, most people who are going to voice their opinions are the ones who didn't like their experience. and I had a friend tell me this a long time ago and she was talking about if you go out to a restaurant and you enjoyed yourself,

you don't even go tell everybody about it, but if you went and had a terrible experience, every conversation that next day you talked to, be like, oh, we went to the such and such and it was terrible, let me tell you about it because people want to vent, you know, but if it was just like, yeah, it was good, you're not going to talk about it the next day.

Listen, if I go to fucking, if I drive up to Baker's Field wherever the fuck you're from San Jose and on the way up I stop and I eat two tacos and they're the best tacos in the world when I see you because you're Mexican I'm gonna go Angel by the way stop by that fucking Pedro guy who makes the best tacos in the fucking world but you know what I'm saying the people who like tacos I'm gonna let them know that it was tremendous though I went to this place here that salmon sushi was off the fucking chain she like sushi you know but I don't think I don't think you need to yeah if you have an opinion

what is it that nothing they say something What is it? It's just indifference. Publicity. From a publicity standpoint, if you kill somebody, it's the same. No, I don't know. Every publicity is good publicity. I don't know.

It must be frustrating just not even like responding to those idiots, but it's just both of you make a large part of your living or promotions on the internet. So you can't escape it. No. So it must be just something you have to deal with. I don't look at the comments from the podcast. Oh. I don't look at none of those comments.

I don't look none of the comments at the Rogan people. I don't look at none of those comments. I have a job to do, and I don't even need to read that stuff. I try to tell everybody you have a good day. I tell everybody to, you know, be safe and have a great weekend. Anything out of that round, I can't look at it. Sometimes you wake up when some guy hits you with a dumb remark like that thing the other day. I was in an okay mood so I didn't fire back at them or whatever.

I just said a prayer for him and hopefully an Uber will hit him or something. hilarious. That was your prayer. it's like the brave part of me and the bold part of me wants to be like yeah you're bashing me but my name's still in your mouth so whatever you know what the fun but then at the same time it still kind of gets you and i'm the same way i don't read my reviews or my comments or anything however recently i fell prey to my i i broke my own rule and god i remember why i don't read those things because it can really mess you up in your mind where you're on track doing what you're supposed to do. And now, just like you said, this fool who lives in his mom's basement,

because she's the only one who can stand them, had something to say about me and like pick me apart to where now I'm insecure. And I think about that one thing he said while I'm on stage. And I'm like, oh, yeah, he said this was whatever, you know. And it's like I try not to even read the reviews. And there's also that part of you that wants to feel validated. Like, well, are people liking what I'm putting out there? You know?

But it's not worth it at all. And I've learned my lesson once again, not to read reviews because those aren't the people that I care about anyways. Last year, somebody sent me a Reddit. And it was a Duncan Truzzle podcast Reddit. And some guy wrote, I have no, I don't like Joe Diaz. he goes, I don't even know how he's a comedian because comedians, I've never liked comedians that were overweight. There's no funny comedians that are overweight.

And I looked at that comment. And there was another friend of his that was jizzing with him, like back and forth. Like co-signing each other. Yeah, I hate out of shape comedians also. I think that you shouldn't go in the public eye if you're not in shape. And I'm thinking about John Candy. I'm not even thinking about me. I'm thinking about John Candy.

in Belushi. I'm thinking of John Pennant. I'm thinking about that these guys have, they don't even know where they're coming from. They don't even know where they're talking from. They don't. So it's like, at the end, what does he say? What does Jesus say? Father, forgive them. They don't know who the fuck they're

fucking. They don't know what they're messing with. Forgive them. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know. They don't problem with God. Yeah. So there's Netflix special. What's the name of it? It's called Not Fancy. And it came out last Friday.

October, the beginning of October. And the other one, that Norway won't. So all those specials. All my special. I have three specials. And they're all on Netflix. And they're all on Netflix. And my new one's called Not Fancy. And where are you this weekend?

San Jose Improv. The home of the free. Yeah. Back to my home. Back to my roots. And you do it once a year? No. You had a stop also every 18 months or two years.

Yeah. I can't. I don't write material fast enough. I told these people they had they stop. Yeah. They put me in Ohio three times in one year. What? And I finally realized it two weeks ago in Toledo.

People were like, I saw you in Columbus in January. God. So I went home and I drew my own schedule for 2016. Nice. And that's it. This is where I'm going. And today I said to him, send me the schedule that you have. He said it to me and I go, I told you no Tempe.

I've been going to Tempe since Jesus left Chicago. No more Tempe. I don't want to go to Florida after this week for a year. There's a lot of places you have to cut out for a year. I do like 15 months to almost two years. I try not to do two years, but like 15, 18, that's my money spot right there where I feel confident enough to come back with. You might hear some of the same jokes you've heard, but there's going to be a lot of new stuff. And I'm dealing with that now because my special just came out.

And so now people are seeing it and coming to my shows, but I'm still working on writing new materials. So some people don't understand how stand-up works. Some people think you're just making it up on the fly and that's just what it is. And then other people just don't get that. it takes time to come up with a new hour of material. And just this past weekend, I did a great show. Like, the crowd is so into it. They're having so much fun.

Baltimore. Okay. They're having so much fun. I'm having fun on stage, you know, because there's some of the shows where you're in robot mode and you're just saying your material. And then there's other shows where you're like, I love what I do. You know what I mean? You're rocking it.

Yeah, yeah. Killing it. This drunk lady in the front just was doing too much. and we had to escort her out, you know, okay, time for you to go. See you later. Thanks for coming. And as I'm dealing with that, some guy yells out, we've already seen this show online. And it was like, towards the end of the show, everybody's had a great time.

You know what I mean? And it was like, one, the audacity you have to yell out something like that. Clearly, you don't understand how comedy works. But even your insult is not even accurate. because half of my show, I know for a fact, you haven't heard because I just wrote this stuff about my new house that I just bought a couple months ago. I filmed my special last year. So I know this is new. You know what I mean?

So your insult's not even accurate. If you would have said, I've seen half of this show on the internet, then I would accept that. I'd be like, yeah, you're right. You did. You know what I mean? But it was like, I couldn't believe it that somebody had the audacity to yell that out. And it was just like, well, you know what? whatever. I can't even focus on that because I know I'm working hard on writing material,

but I know it doesn't just come like that overnight. I'm not, you know, these other comics who do a new special every year just pump out material because they live at the comedy club. I don't do that. But then you get the people that come up and go, man, you didn't do the bit about this. Exactly. And I'm not one of those comics that after I do a special. All right, I'm scratching all that material. So I'm going to do all new stuff. No way. That's not fair to my fans to make. them pay whatever $30 or whatever they're paying to come to a show and then sit through new material that might be funny might not be funny like Russian roulette oh maybe my $35 will be worth it maybe it won't no I'm gonna give you jokes that I know are proven to be funny because I've

been doing them across the country and people laugh when they hear it I'm gonna give you some of those and then I'm gonna splice in some new ones that I hope you laugh you know what I mean so it's like it's that fine balance but then at the same time you hear people random shout out or they tweet you after. Like, you need to write new material. I've already heard this before. I've had people tweet me that too. And I'm like, well, sorry, I don't write fast enough for you, but

this is my act. This podcast, we do it twice a week. We used to get up at 5 in the morning. I'd do it at 6 in the moment. Never charge, never consider charging a thing for. Okay? Last week, I got a fucking email from some chick that said, we hate when you do this with the bottles. Four people we know how to stop listening,

and now we're about to stop listening. And I told them, don't let the door hit you in the ears. Yeah. You know, it's so much. People feel so indebted, you know, and sometimes you got to let them know, listen, man. We do this out of the kindness of our fucking hearts. Yeah.

You know, you go out to take a picture with them? Can you call my buddy who's in Kuwait? Listen, I got a hundred people waiting to fucking take a picture. I can't call your fucking buddy. Yeah. They want to shoot a short film. You know, it's always these demands, and you're like, listen, we're taking a picture.

Why can't we be happy in your own skinneth? Isn't that the Bible if? Yeah. If you don't come out and take a picture, then there's that too. What, I paid $35 to come see you and you can't even come take a picture. I go on and take pictures. Girl, you paid $35 for the show that you got. Did you not have a good time in the show?

Yeah, I had a great time. You're welcome. Even exchange. Even exchange. It's crazy. People are not satisfied. And the internet, listen, when the internet, they get to know you so they want more

they know you more which in a way is great but in a way for some people it's kind of weird in some ways with some people it's great they have a relationship like you said you go to some towns went to Minneapolis Mike Gow showed up Brandy Lynn I know these people they've been coming for the last three years I've been to Minneapolis you become friends with them

you know through Facebook and Twitter and you can become a friendship happy birthday Bobby Sharon the dude in Texas you know you become friends with these people they're your relationship soon but then you have these other people that are Johnny come lately's. They're just looking to fucking criticize

and they move on to the next guy and criticize. Yeah. You know, I saw some guy attack me a month ago that attacked Carolla. Carola's the nicest guy in the world. He didn't even say nothing wrong. He's like a geeky guy. This guy was attacking Carolla. So there's just people out there that are having bad days.

What do you think, Lee? You attack people on the internet? Not on the internet, but then it also happens in real life because I've heard this conversation. People always, when you're in the public guide happens, but then people just even trying to get noticed even in real life will do it

like yelling something that I've always really tried hard to do is because I saw it when I was younger is people like yelling at red restaurants and at servers what?

It does something to my insides because it drives me crazy Oh yeah but then it's then you talk to them like sometimes I will respond on Twitter and they just

people get so into it Well they don't eat their words so much well kind of but they all they wanted was to get an interaction to get noticed and then like I'll see it a lot with you

like oh much love especially for you like you have a reputation for being like you have all these things you like Momo and all this so people will say it to you and does that ever bother do you know that

do you know that they're just kind of repeating what you say or does it it doesn't matter it's not what you say it's how you say it right and I know how somebody is saying things you know right And I was thinking about a thing that happened to me once in a weed store. Every time I go to a weed store, a guy would say something to me.

He'd say it under his breath. And I played with him for about two months until one day he caught me in one of those Diaz days. And I looked him straight in the face, and I asked him. I go, who gives you the right to say that? Don't say that again. You don't know me and I don't know you. Then he hated me after that. Because I tried to give him the respect of the man.

I didn't attack him. I just pulled him aside in front of nobody. And I don't say that no more Unless you want me to say it to you You won't want me to say it to you And he got really like offended And he never talks to me Even when I go there now sometimes

He won't talk to me. He looks the other way You know he couldn't accept being a man I just said don't say that no more I don't know I get weird about it Lee I get I just know How some people are saying things And you brought up earlier Angela You Can't Read Reviews

It though I think it might even be harder For me sometimes not responding to positive things. Like I see a lot, some people will retweet compliments. Occasionally I'll do it for a podcast or something that I did, but it's just as damaging, I think, caring too much about the positive things. You totally hit it right on the money

because it's one of those things where, like when that happened, when I had read those reviews on Netflix that were just terrible. And I was so surprised by it. because as soon as my special premiered on Netflix, my Twitter was flooded with love from people. People who had never heard of me, fans who were like,

we've been waiting for this special, you didn't disappoint, this is your best one yet, which is how I feel about it. I feel like this is my best one yet. You're growing, yeah. You get better and better and better. And it was flooded in one weekend. It premiered on Friday by Sunday, I think it was. I said I had like 10,000 new followers.

on Instagram. I had hundreds of tweets from people that were just like, oh my God, this was hilarious. I'm showing all my family, like all kinds of stuff, right? So that when I went on Netflix and I saw the terrible things that were written about, I was like shocked. I was like, oh, wait, what? Like, I really, I really was surprised to see that people didn't like it that much. And so as soon as I read those negative things, I immediately went back to Twitter and read some of the positive things just to like cheer me up again or whatever it was. And then I had to stop because I was like, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't how it works. You guys don't validate me and make me who I am. I have to be secure enough with what I'm doing and happy enough with what I'm doing and saying and how I feel. And that's where

I find my truth and my center. To me, it's what God says about me and what I say about me, whether you're saying something good about me or bad about me, it's going to go one year and out the other because the second this positive feedback changes their tune about me, then I'm like up and down based on what people think about me. But I don't want to be unhealthy like that. I want to be a healthy, secure individual where I'm like, no, I'm empowered by what God says and what I say, not by what you say, whether it's good or bad. So you hit it right on the money. It's whatever people say, good or bad, it's thank you. And it was tough for me at the beginning because, like, this is my first real, like, before there's my only Facebook friends were my actual people that in my life. Yeah.

Like, when I first started this podcast, I had 50 Twitter followers. Yeah. And it, like, it doesn't sound great to say, but yeah. Like, when you get nice tweets, it feels great sometimes. Like, if you do something and, like, for the next week, you get positive tweets, every once in a while I want to retweet it or I'll feel great about it. But it's something that you have to learn. I hate negative tweet, but I hate positive tweet, but I hate positive. positive tweets even more. I hate all that shit.

Really? Crazy. It drives me crazy. Why? I just get embarrassed. I get as red as you get inside. I get crazy. I can't handle it. I can't, so I just don't look at it all together.

I definitely, I'll go through times where I'll retweet the positive things because to me, it's like me promoting my special without hounding my fans saying, hey, everybody, watch my special. Hey, everybody, watch my special. So instead of me saying that again, I'll just, retweet a fan who was like, oh my God, we watched it and we loved it. I love the joke when you said blah, blah, blah. I'll just retweet it. And to me, that's me marketing my special without saying, hey, everybody, watch my special, because then you're just repeating yourself and

then your fans don't want to hear that. You know what I mean? So I keep it light on Twitter. I only bang them in the morning and I stay away until the rest of the day because I don't want to be one of those guys. I don't want to get caught up on Twitter. So I'll stay on Twitter the other day. We had a good time on Periscope. We watched the football game. for a couple minutes and criticized that people like that. So, so you're aware this weekend? San Jose. San Jose and the next weekend.

Oh, Wes Nyack. Levity Live. You like that place? I've never been there. I'm not sure if they like me. I'm supposed to go in April. Have you done it? No, I've never done it before. I'm supposed to go. I used to go up there as a kid. They used to be a crazy bar when I was a kid

up in Nyack. Oh, really? Called a cuckoo's nest. They used to give you six Budweisers for a dollar in a bucket wow that's a deal oh my god the last time we went my friend got into a fist fight with the hindu door man who he zapped him with acid and he got into a fight with the door guy hysterical the cuckoo's nest so we go to new york and then go let's go up to the cuckus nest it was like a college bar we were in high school now it's like a city yeah my neack it's like a city now this is 20 years ago 30 years it was a long time what's the matter what's it You gave your buddy acid and he got in a fight with a Hindu

Doran. Roger. And then we were sitting there like a week later watching the Duran Duran video and he goes, that's a Hindu. That's the guy from that beat me up. This is 1980 something. Wow. Let me give a shout out to, did I give a shout out to the names yet? No, not yet. All right, we'll do it all at one shot.

See, Angela Johnson got me all confused today and shit. Uh-oh. Mr. Sunshine, Matt V, twisted trucker, big Bob Shannon, Lee Dixon, David Christensen Justice Case Baker or Justine, whatever your name is, Gene Smith, John Wolf, and Thomas Easter. I'm going to be at the Fort Laudale Improv this weekend, Thursday,

Friday and Saturday, then I'm home for Halloween, and I got Portland, then I got the New Jersey Stress Factory. Let me read these things, I'm going to get the hell out of here, so you guys don't get stuck in traffic. Well, you're right up here, you got no traffic. Just get on Channel and go north and do 90. Just slow down during the Jew neighborhood. Those people don't mess around.

You hit one of those people. You're done. You're done. You're 90 supporting their habit. They will sue you. Who are you, Angela Johnson, Matt TV? Can I tell you, I just saw Israel. We all know how sexy confidence can be,

and that confidence comes from being comfortable. But how great can it feel of your underwear is wrinkling and riding up? Not too good. Me And Nis gets it, and that's why they've created the world's most comfortable underwear for a daily dose of confidence. Let me tell you something.

I only wear Meyandis when I go to Jiu-Jitsu and when I go to the gym because I'm comfortable, nothing pops out. Sorry to say that in front of Angela. That's all right. People know. You wear underwear every day. That's 365 a year, rain or shine.

You don't need to be extraordinary with an insane price drag. Miondi's understands it, and that's why they've created the underwear. First off, Mionis is made from Modol, a fabric that's twice as soft as cotton. Tell them, Angela, Josh. That's twice as soft

Or whatever underwear you're wearing right now Plus your underwear probably crusty right now Myonis is coming in With tons of colors and styles And the only place to get matching pairs For men and women There you go, Angelic Johnson. His and Hers? They even release a new design every month

I love the camouflage ones And I like the black ones with the purple stripes Those are the ones I wear We all know paying for shipping sucks So Miandis has removed that from the equation All orders in the U.S. Canada are gratis. Meandes even has a money-back guarantee.

If you don't love the first pair, you get the second one for free. Literally, you get nothing to lose. Wait a second. If you don't love the first pair, you get to keep it for free. How's that for you, Lisa? That's pretty great. That's what I'm talking about. So do me a favor. To sweeten the deals, meandis is offering you're 20% off your first order. So go to meandes.com

slash Joey. That's a special offer for all my listeners. Make sure you go to meondis.com. They get 20% off your first order. and let them know who sent you and also free shipping in Canada and the United States. Me on these, me on these, me

and then undies in capital you and D-I-E-S and that's it. I'm really gonna go get some of those uncomfortable. I really enjoy them. I really like them. I like them more for working out

than the other ones. The ones I got on today, they're too tight. I feel like Iron Man. Modal really is the best. What happened? Model really is the best. Those are all my sheets.

My bed sheets are remote. I didn't know about that. Somebody said it and then I read it on the Miandi sheet. Also, for all your supplementation, go to honor.com right now, whether it's the hemp force protein, the chocolate, two scoops, 32 grams,

to the alpha brand, 100% money back guarantee. Alpha brain, 100% flagship of the company. Also, the shroom tech, that's what I'm going to take tonight because I'm doing a little kettlebells. Now, I didn't work out today. I've been busy all day. So I do some kettlebells tonight in the darkness

after the baby falls asleep by myself out there. Just pick her up and just starts with America. Please, I picked her up today 2,000 times at the park. And that's it, man. Angela, I'm really happy you came on. You're a sweetheart. You're a America sweetheart in my book. Thank you so much.

And it was great seeing you and enough said. Thank you. Did you get to meet everybody? I did. It was amazing. I was Gan Lofini. Very cool. He was, I had, so really quick because I know we're signing off.

But when he first walked on set, like he had this energy that would just shift a room, right? And so, like, he was just so cool. And I got super starstruck. I don't typically get starstruck. And I didn't grow up watching The Sopranos, so it's not like, oh, it's the guy everyone's. It wasn't that at all. It was just he had something about him. And I got real quiet and, like, couldn't like look at him.

And then he called me on it. We were sitting, it was me, him and the director. And we were sitting there off in one of the rooms while we were waiting for them to change lights and stuff. And he was talking to the director about me as I'm sitting right here. and he goes, yeah, she's a quiet one. And I was like, I'm actually not, but I get all weird around you for some reason. I don't know what it is.

And then he just started cracking jokes with me. Yeah. That was a special. After that, it was, hey, mama, come here, hugs and all that kind of stuff. He always. He was amazing and so loving. And then I remember he came to my trailer after and asked if I would take a picture with his son

because his son was a really big fan of mine. And I just thought it was amazing that James Gandalfini was coming to my trailer. saying, hey, would you mind taking a picture for me? And I was like, oh my God, you're asking me to take a picture? It's insane. But he was amazing and you know, we lost a good one. I knew I saw you in something.

I was like, look at my girl, Angela Johnson, hanging out with white people. Okay. Still playing a Mexican though. Fucking still still playing a Mexican. But it don't matter. That paycheck goes all the way to the back to the cartel. I love you, Mama. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Lee, you're bad motherfucker. What's up?

I have a great podcast with Sal Ginoa, a director on my podcast. Find you Radio. All right. We're going to close with killing in the name of by Rage Against the Machine. I'll see you Savages in Fort Lauderdale. Friday, Saturday, Thursday night.

Stress Factory, second week in November and Jersey. I don't want to hear it. If it sells out, they got to all get mad at me. You got to add shows. I ain't had a dick. I got a two and a half year old. I got to spend time, but if not, God knows what could happen to.

This podcast is brought to you by Miandis. Go to Meandis. Go to meandies.com slash Joey. Great. Go to meandies.com slash Joey to get 20% off of your first order and free shipping in the United States and Canada. Go to Onit.com and use Code Word Church to get 10% off all the great optimization products like Alpha Brain, New Moot, Chumdek Immune, Team Tech Sport. It's Code Word Church to get 10% off. Told you.

Now you do what they told you. What they told you.