The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #337 - Javier Vazquez

Episode Date: November 30, 2015

  Javier Vazquez, former UFC fighter and owner of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Rancho - Cucamonga,who is competing at the EBI 5 Sunday December 13, 2015 at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get 50% off of your first order of wine curated just for you Texture. Go To texture.com/history to get a free trial for the Texture App. The Texture App gives the use access to hundreds of magazines. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50   Recorded live on 11/29/2015.
   Music:  The Best Of You - The Foo Fighters I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet You Really Got Me - Van Halen  

I thought I couldn't even do hip escapes. When I walked in, I was 3.40, I couldn't do hip ascapes. Oh, shit. I'm like 302 now, but now I go. I could go three times a week, two times a week, you know. That would be great. I'll spar with you. Oh, bro, it would raise me right up.

It would raise me right up because I would learn, I'd get more confidence. The problem I have is I got to get a while to get warmed up, my cardio. But once I get warmed up, you got to pull me. What if I can get you to not get tired? I would fucking love it. Yeah, there's a way. It's just real. I smoke 20 pounds of weed a day, you know?

I got to sleep at me. So that's the main reason why I went, because when you're on your back, you lose your mind. So I wanted to overcome. I can't see needles, but I go to acupuncture. I've been going to acupuncture for 10 years every other Tuesday because I don't want to have that fear. You know what I'm saying?

I don't want to have that fear of needles, so I'd do it. So when I went to jiu-jitsu and I realized, how scared I was. Like, I went to see a fucking therapist when I first joined Jiu-Jitsu. Why? Because that's how much fear I had on my back. Oh, really? Yeah, I got really hyperclobic because I sleep with a mask on.

It's so fun. Like, over the past, I don't know, like definitely over the past 10 years, I just see it so differently. I see it so differently. Oh, sure. It's how I see stand-up. Yeah, probably. 20 years, you're fucking sliced right through it. Let's start it. We'll talk about this.

This is good. This show is brought to you by ClubW. ClubW is the wine club that's changed everything. Go to ClubW.com slash Joey and get 50% off of your first order. That's 50% off of your first order when you go to clubw.com slash Joey. They send wine directly to your door.

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better tasting, longer lasting. The proof is in the vape. And use code word Joey's church to get five hit E6 for $50. Are you kidding me or what? Sunday, December 29th. No, November 29th. What the fuck am I thinking? November 29th.

The day the devil was buried at sea, you bad motherfuckers. Harvey Mendez, Uncle Joey, Lee Syatt. Rose Gracie. We ain't fucking around tonight. Oh shit. Here promoting EBI, December 13th, at the Orpheum Theater. Eddie Bravo, guitars, side controls.

It's all fucking over. What's up, Lisea? What's the fucking score? Because I know you're not going to relax. I have no idea. It's fucking killing you. We were up by four when I left, but I have no idea now. Jesus Christ, with six minutes to go,

Harvey Mendez. What's happened, beautiful? Vasquez, Vasquez. Why do I keep saying Mende. Mendez is the fucking boxer. The dude that trains like an A.k.a. And shit. What I keep saying Mendes?

Yeah. That's why I kept saying Mendes. What the fuck? I say Javier Mendes and I go right to the Mendes. I thought my name is Javier Mendes for a while. Everybody called you Javier Mendes. No, no, no, no. I felt so embarrassed.

No, no. You just say Javier and it just Mendes rolls off instead of Vasquez and shit. Rose Gracie's in the house in the background, like the assistant to the assistant manager back there. Look at it. All smiles. What's up, buddy? What happened?

What's the score? Oh, I've got off the check. I have no idea. What the fuck? I just gave you two minute a window to check. I turn around and you're staring at me like, you don't know what happened to you. Still 21-17. Jesus Christ, Lysia.

What's up, brother? Not much, man. Great to have you on the show. You know, I know you, what, 10 years? I finally find out you're Cuban. Un fucking believable. Unfucking believable. How is that Cuban food?

And you're always delicious. I'm burping it right now. I can't wait to get home. And you're a rancho cucomongo, Cuban. That's where you came when you came from Cuba Did they take you somewhere else first? No, no, no, I came, I live in Almani

most of my life, and then I bought a house out here when I was like 27. Now, when you came to Almani from Cuba, were the only other Cuban people, or it was just you guys? No, just our family. Just our family. Did you run through a church first, like all the other Cubans?

No. You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, yeah. Other church groups take you either go to Minnesota, New Jersey. Fuck, then you lucked out. I lucked out. I lucked out.

I never got religion pushed on me ever. So I'm kind of glad about that. No, but I'm talking about like when you come, this is what happens. When you get, when those, oh, the Baceto came, and like all these Cubans that come now, there's a show. There was a show a couple of years ago. It was called Bacetto. And it was all the Cubans that came on the fucking raps.

And what it talked about was once you get here, you get sponsored and you go to a church. A church takes you in and you're moving with a family. Like Rudy Sarzo, when he, came here in the 50s. He came before Fidel and he said they moved you around every year just for like three or four years until you found where you wanted to move. That's why I was asking. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, just a lot of Cubans, not me, not me. We were right to Union City and we fucking stayed there. Fuck that. We were involved in no church. No, but that's the, I just bumped into a

girl in, okay, I was in Portland, Oregon. And the waitress said to me, we have a Cuban girl here who works now. And she came over and introduced us up. She had been in the country for 10 fucking years. Her English was better than mine. And I go, where'd you learn English? And she goes, when we came, we went to Minneapolis first. But they took her brother, her brother's family, like they were older. They took him to Canada. And they had it because Toronto has a ginormous Cuban community. Really? Jai fucking normas. Why didn't the Canadians go to Cuba? When they go to Cuba, they fall in love with some 16-year-old Cuban hooker, and they bring them right back to fucking...

Canada. Toronto, they have kids. No, Toronto has Cuban restaurants, Cuban music. You think you're in, like, fucking Union City. They have three or four blocks. This is, in the year 2000, Toronto had a three-block Cuban neighborhood that was pumping.

And I met one of Fidel's bodyguards there. Wow. And he was telling me, he had a book, and he was going to do all this. this shit and it was really interesting. He went to lunch and he was telling me how Fidel picks up chicks. Fidel walks into a restaurant

to eat or he sees a woman that's attractive and he has one of his guys send over a fucking walk over to the girl and bring her a card. And you have to call that number and the next day a car comes and gets you and takes you to the doctor to get checked out. Blood test, they check your monkey, they look under your tities,

everything. And then after that they take you, they buy your dresses. They dress you up. They draw your hair. Just like Tom Cruise in the Scientology show. Remember, they took the chick shopping. They take you shopping. And then they say you to Fidel's house.

No what? The dog gives you a stabbing. It keeps you around for six weeks. Then you disappear. They cut your head off and you fucking, you become dog food. No. I don't know. But he just said, that's how it happens.

What does it like for you guys? Like, as like, I don't, when I see another Jewish person, I don't get like that excited, but when you guys see how the Cuban, is it like, is it like? There's not that many of them out. I mean, not that I know. I'm starting to meet more Brazilian people because of her, but I mean, it's not like Cuban people are just running into me all the time. When I was a kid and I bumped into fucking somebody Spanish, I'd get excited. Really?

Yeah. When I was a kid and I bumped into somebody Spanish, I would get very excited. When I bump into anybody cool, I'm excited. But I always want to hear other Cuban people stories. I want to hear how they were raised because I know we were fucking crazy. You know, but it's amazing. You know, Rose and I were talking about Cubans and grandfathers and whatever, rule number one, Rose, I'm going to make your life fucking simple for you right now.

Cuban men are like German Shepherds. They all got one fucking disorder. And you don't know it till you live with them, but they all got one little disorder. Something just don't communicate right. Every Cuban guy's got that. My wife has finally dealt with it. Ask Lee, my wife, she deals with it. She's like, he don't bother me at all.

You know, but every Cuban guy, the pants, they all have one saying. They'll torment you with that fucking saying until you're 80 years old. We're talking about how Harvey could be the first Cuban black belt in Jiu-Jitsu. You are probably on paper. But if you know any other Cuban, they had a black belt, they fought Chuck Norris. They broke his finger. You weren't around. What the fuck were you?

I broke, I fucking smiths, and they'll tell you like it's nothing. Look, and I took Chuck Norris. and I smacked them four times. He left crying like a little fucking girl. I was going to ask him to suck my dick, but I was busy. That's Cuban men, you know what I'm saying? Because at the end, they always got to suck your dick. They suck my dick, but I fucking beat them up.

You know what I'm saying? That's awesome. What's up, Lisa, you out, you bad motherfucking Jew. What's up, baby, boy? I found it. I'm doing a jitit tournament with someone 50 pounds bigger than me, so I had a bad morning this morning, man. I'm not, I'm finally now just starting to even, not even understand UFC, see, but like kind of grasp it a little bit, because before I was just a fan.

But now, like, whenever you hear you see, fight, you never hear them say, oh, I'm nervous about fighting this guy or, oh, I don't want to fight. Like, they're always like, I'll fight anyone anytime. And I've went and I looked up as Facebook, I was nervous. I'm nervous, man. I got to be honest. I'm not. Like, I was nervous about it.

Yeah, like, what do you, I mean, what are you nervous about? Being stuck in side control, being underneath somebody? He's completely nervous. I know Lee. And he's completely nervous. You shouldn't be nervous. But that's the thing you shouldn't be nervous. You shouldn't be in an environment that makes you nervous like that.

Well, I mean, I can't really blame. I'm always nervous. Like, it's just that's who I am. But then it's just, I'm not even afraid of losing. I just imagine, I just imagine this guy who is probably going to be around Joey's size a little bit, a little bit smaller. It's just going to take me and, like, throw me through the basketball hoop in the gym where the, like, I just, I, I, I don't know. I don't know what, I know he's not going to kill me. I know I'm not going to die.

is. When fucking Matsuko taught the grandfather and he came over from fucking Japan, what was fucking Brazil? What was jujitsu for? Tell him what jiu-tzu for. Just to simplify it. Tell him what it's for. When it's for self-defense.

Oh, isn't it for the little guy? For the little guy to be able to beat the big guy? What is Lee? You're little. Well, okay. The second you stop fighting in Jiu-Jitsu. to is when you learn to, you learn to understand what it is. You have to stop fighting. The second you start fighting, if you encounter resistance anywhere along your path, because there's a path,

right, there's a path to escape, there's a path to submit, right? As you're going down this path, if you're pushing on something and you encounter resistance, you're going the wrong way. Stop immediately and reassess the situation. You should not have to push your way out. In a a way where you're using force and strength to move. Leverage can solve that problem. If you understand connection and you understand leverage, you don't need to work hard. And sometimes the answer is as simple as you don't go at this particular time. The guy's got you locked down, hold down, you're stuck. The guy's 300 pounds. You can't move. Okay, except the fact that you can't move. Stop fighting. The second stop fighting, the opponent will start to move. Guarantee. What are they going to do?

Stay there? Okay, I've got this guy completely controlled, right? he's not moving. I feel him give up. I can move now. Make sense? And when you can understand that when you are on the smaller side where you can't move and you are controlling what he's doing and when he's doing it, it's, it's, you put yourself in predictable situations and you already know what you're going to do next. Does that make sense? You kind of put yourself in a line. You go, okay, I'm going to do this. I already know he's going to do that. How do I know he's going to do that? Because everybody else that I've put, I've done this, do it does the same thing. You start seeing those patterns. Have you rolled? And every time you do a certain thing, somebody else always does something to counter. Yes or no? Yes. Yes. So when you understand what that counter is, you have a counter to the counter. Does that make sense? Yes. So now you're dealing with timing. The second that you incorporate timing into into Jiu-Jitsu, it changes everything. It changes everything. Changes everything. But people don't want to put themselves in those vulnerable spots and just wait and see what happens. Let somebody mount you

and just wait and see what are they going to do? And you sit there and you go, oh, he wants to bring his hand across my neck. Okay, I'll stop that. Let's see now. Now, as he's, no, he's giving up. Okay, now, now he's using the other hand. I'll stop that. Okay, now what's he going to do? And you start feeling people adjust and boom, that's when you're tying your escape. No, that's what we went over today. The escape from the Mount, just to fuck around a little bit, just in case the guy got on top. In case. That's what's going to happen.

You know, listen, Rocky's been on all fucking weekend. Did you watch it, you watch any Rockies? One of the greatest American stories of all that. I watched it for the first time since I was a kid. Oh, no, Rocky, like, Rocky, the movie? Oh, yeah, no, I have the movies. The greatest American story of all time, because every time you watch you, you learn some. You know, there's no mistake why they keep putting it on.

There's no mistake why I got up at 6 in the fucking morning, Thanksgiving morning, and the Godfather was on. Because they're strong fucking pieces of work. But in Rocky, this motherfucker in his mind, he was going to lose the whole fight. Right before she comes in the green room, she goes, he goes, don't leave town. Fucking around.

And she goes, blah, blah, boy. And he goes, you know, wish me luck. I'm going to need it. But when he walked in that ring, dog, It turned into something else. He just turned into something else and he realized he could do it. And then you got a scary guy. That's why I did that with you today.

Because one of the times I was putting resistance, he threw me down. The big thing he concerned he had today was that the takedown to get to the fucking, you know, he's never done a contest before. He said he wrestled. Didn't you wrestle? I wrestled a little bit, but I was never good. So you understand the concept of what you have to do. There's a lot of jiu-jitsu people that have never wrestled. They don't wrestle.

I feel like it might, I don't know, I'll ask your opinion. I feel like it might be hurting me because, like with a single leg, I always was trained to put my head to the side in between the arm. And that leads to a guillotine. I get caught there all the time. But you know that, right? So if you feel somebody wrap your neck, that's when you defend. Okay. So you know that's an option.

You know that that's a good possibility, right? Right. Okay. So anticipate it. And if you anticipate it by just shrugging your shoulder or grabbing a little bit higher up on his legs. Oh, can you just move your phone? Sorry. No, that's

And what I really need, I feel like the worst part of what I do is I panic. It's just I don't know anything yet. You can sit there and feel stuck. You can sit there and feel stuck and then panic starts to sit in. Or you can sit there and accept that you're stuck and just study what the guy's doing. A lot of times people will make movements. Maybe it gets better, maybe it gets worse. But unless you put yourself there repeatedly, you're not going to know.

Right. The more you study the options from each position, the more you study defensively, the options, what can the guy do? You can knee bar here. You can toe hold here. You can arm bar here. You can Ameri-Connor here. The second that you understand kind of where you are, you start to counter their first move. Remember, okay, if you don't want to get caught, you want to be at least two-step.

behind being caught. Does that make sense? So you can have my arm, but you can't have your my arm a high bite on the leg and the foot in the hip. Does that make sense? Yes. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, yes. So, but you can grab my arm. The second I start to feel that foot, go, okay, now I'm a little bit more aware. Does that make sense? You have to think don't get caught first, everything else second. Don't get caught first. Has to be your primary mindset. Don't get caught. It doesn't matter what you do, where you mount me, how many times you take my back. That doesn't matter. Don't get caught. And the second you're comfortable not getting caught, people, because you studied people's behavior in not getting caught, oh, you want this.

And okay, so I'll do this. I do this. Oh, I'll bump you, whatever. It's just don't get caught. And there's little systems and little tricks in not getting caught from certain positions. And once you enjoy that, sometimes I won't even tap people. It's just fun playing defense. It's just fun. What? It's fun. It's like the least favorite part right now. How many years have you been doing jujitsu?

17, almost 18. 17 fucking years. But it started clicking on. I had this conversation. Okay. So He don't is my wife's brother. And this guy is just, him and Henner are just unbelievable. They're incredible.

I mean, they took my jiu-jitsu and just polished it. Polished it. just have me thinking different ways. And that whole concept of just defend, enjoy it. If you enjoy being mounted, if you enjoy being there, if you really understand, it's a beautiful thing, how I can off-balance you and escape. It's fun.

Let me see if you understand what I'm telling you. Just say that. Because I want to how I really know what the fuck I'm thinking here. my comedy changed completely since I joined jiu-jitsu completely a next level because I was so stuck in my life with kickboxing and boxing and jujitsu and uh you know punching and striking and all that stupidity and I kept watching the UFC and out of all the jujitsu guys there were two of them that made my dick hard when I watched them fight and it was Joe Lowe's on. And when he first came on, he was a horrible striker. But his jiu-jitsu was fucking

flashy. No, no. The second kid, the Brazilian kid. I really liked his jiu-jitsu. Let's not forget Nogerra, but Noguera was more in Japan. I didn't get into the UFC then. I got into UFC later on. Even though Eddie and Joe would talk about it and torment

my life, I don't want to hear that shit. Because I put it out one time and I saw Tankabbit and I got disgusted. This is not the martial arts I came. When I came from Cuba, I had the same experience. My father died. I was a little half fucked up. And when that guy hit in the head with a lunchbox in Central Park, that was it.

That woke the fucking animal up in me. My mom put me in Renato LaRange's father. Renato LaRangea, his father was my first karate teacher when I came from Cuba. How much of a small world is that? Are you kidding? No. Wow. What a lineage.

What a fucking connection on 90th Street and West End. how fucking with the black guys in class with the hand with the goju karate i was with loron jo's father for three fucking years wow you know so this is where so i loved it but being on my back jiu jiu jutsin i was never for me i'm too school of cute you know what i'm saying like when you're cubing oh you're so pantalone compil they're fucking crazy so it wasn't my speed i got sick of fucking kicking and there was a jihitsu school by my house which no Nobody knew about it. It was a John Jack affiliate.

I wouldn't embarrass Eddie. That was my first thing. I didn't want to walk into Addies and have a heart attack. Can you imagine that Eddie's best friend comes down here and dies on the fucking mat? Let me die somewhere else. I don't want to fuck his shit. Are you really nervous about dying? I was fucking nervous.

I had never done it before. I had just gotten on my back in the living room and fucked around like an idiot. You know, just trying to do unbars by myself with the cat and shit like that. Not that. Damien Maya. Once I saw Damien mine, I was like, wait a second. I got to go on YouTube and watch this shit. He's good.

And then I met Marcello with Eddie, and I started watching his shit. He's amazing. And I started staying up and nice smoking pot watching Marcello and Eddie Bravo, purple belts. I've got to get into this shit. But I'm not going to tell nobody. I'm just going to try it. And the first day I wanted to try it, I thought I was going to die. Like, on the way home, I'm like, I'll never do that again.

But then everything else came in. How can I quit? at this age I'm having a baby I want to live I want my the baby to see me doing something so she learns I have to set an example you know in my age I kept going back man

and then I started traveling and just going into schools on the road so nobody would know who I was right I would just go to school I just want to do it here one time and I would have fucking heart attacks I got to the point I would take aspirins I would kiss my cats I would kiss the baby like I was

fucking nervous because I couldn't get on the bottom. Once you grab my neck, that's when I would start, I would start panicking. I hadn't been in those situations in a long time with the sleep back. See, you have to just, I think what really offsets panic is just thinking of the situation. Don't think of, think of, okay, what's happening to me right now, except the fact that this is happening and just think, just think your way through it. If you're thinking of an escape route, you're not thinking about panic. Does that make sense? Yes. No, no. And this was,

My first year of Jiu-Jitsu was me laying on the floor and you're getting on top of me tapping. And then I flew to Burbank to Vegas. The guy that really twisted me a little, I would ask questions. Big John McCarthy on a plane to Vegas. I told him my situation, he goes, listen, I got a guy there. I wanted to ask him to leave the first two years. I mean, the guy just didn't have it. It was horrific.

I didn't want to take his money anymore. And one day out of nowhere, he just started clicking. Now he teaches my beginning of classes. You know, he goes, just stick it out. You can't breathe, tap. Compose yourself, tie your gear and going it again and keep going and keep going. And that's what I did. And I started, and I joined the BJJJJournal.

So I kept the note every time I went, the things I learned. I was just going to Jiu-Too for a year and not doing nothing. Dude, I just did that. I did that over the past four years. written down every single thing I know. I write it down before I go in the shower. When I get in the thing, I hang the shirt, I hang the gait top, I throw the fucking pants to air out, and I take my shoes off.

And before I go in that shower, I sit down, it says date, time, notes, what you learned. Yeah. Just break it down. At least I can set my goals. This time I'm going to go eight times a month. Let me ask you something. Let me ask you something. Go ahead.

What if you had the, do you? Add the instructor's notes. And you could add your own notes to it too. What do you mean the instructor's notes? That's what I did. I wrote everything I did down. These are my notes. These are my step-by-step.

These are these, here's your note section. Dude, that's what I've been doing the past four years. It's just writing everything down and organizing it 100%. It's almost 2,000 pages. Like I, with no background for me, that would be great for someone like me who, It would have been great for someone like me also. I knew nothing. Because after class, I was just thinking about it.

I don't remember everything we did in class, so I'm just a problem amazed that you go home and can write it out. Oh, because I don't return calls. I don't do nothing. All I think about is that class, how I got caught. And I think about what we learned and what I got in the class, what I'm really going to use out of the class. You know what I'm saying?

What really fucking stuck out from that class? Every class should have that. Every class does. Every class does. You know what? I learned this, but I'm older. I'm not going to fucking barram bolo on my way into your fucking living room. You know what I'm saying?

The chance of me barren bolo on my way into your living room is slim and none. I know, you know what I'm saying? I'm going to do little things. Yeah. And the little things are what's going to, you know, that you're going to have breakthroughs on, you know. And we, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, I've had breakthroughs, you know, I mean, breakthrough moments, breakthroughs and thinking or, you know, you just learn this one way to really finish, you know, submission X, like this one thing that you, so you start, the more time you're there, the more of

those moments you have, and it just grows and grows and grows and grows and grows. It never stops, but you'll start noticing that things that you did two years ago, you're not doing anymore because your game changes and your game alters, because as you're learning new things, you're trying new stuff, and you kind of sweep out the stuff that you don't use all the time. It's there. It's there. You know how to do it. If the opportunity presents it, itself, you have that, but here's the new step that you're kind of working on, you know. So it's always a constant state of mastering, you know. I learn something new and I try to be able to do it. And I'm just attacking it from different directions or concepts. Concepts are what really have

changed my game. That's what Heat on and Henner were teaching me. Concepts. It's the concept. The concept, then you apply it everywhere. It's not the move. It's the concept. Once you understand how levered works and connection works, once you start understanding those concepts, Your mind gets well. Because the simplest things create, you know, incredible power and incredible leverage. Simple things that require zero energy. Give you maximum power. How is that?

You know, and you just sit there and you wait. The other guy's working his ass off trying to do something. You just sit there like, are you done? You know, the goal is to get them tired. Just get tired. Keep trying to tap. In the beginning, not only was my cardio bad, but you're spastic. Yeah.

And your first nine months, you're spastic. You're just moving around. Then I watched Hodger Gracie, the big guy, and I watched him against Romulus, that match. I watched that match over and over how he knows he's going to mount, and he knows he's going to fucking just choke it. And it's just a finger in the ass, like. It's just a wearer. It's just a wear. They're like this.

And little by little, his foot moves in, and then he just straightens up, and he adjusts his hips. You're on the bottom trying to grab. And all of a sudden he grabs one fucking collar. And all of a sudden, that's two minutes. That's two minutes. Yeah. And he's breathing. Yeah.

And you're on the bottom and he's just, and all of a sudden the other thing goes in. He ain't even doing nothing yet. It's just in. That's it. That's a part that blows my mind the most of what you did to. Because that's all I want, like, I don't care about a move at all right now. I would love to just, it looks like they're almost like, what are those things that

just roll around like I don't know it looks like Sonic the hedgehog just rolling around the mat they like there's no end to it and every time I do it I feel like it's like there's an end well there's a lot of ends but then it's just like it's just like you're just moving one part of your body but every time I watch like

purple belt and up just go it's just like it's like they're almost swimming it's like it's amazing to watch it really is for it yeah it's it blows my fucking mind like it blows my fucking mind yeah it's it just is kind of like one of those things like I tried paddleboarding that's fun it's fun as hell you ever try that no dude you gotta try that it's fun it's not that hard i didn't fall that's that's what water

box it does on the stuff on the thing the surfboard yeah and you go like like a hawaiian yeah that's like a lot of fucking dude i would totally want to try and learn that like in surfing dude that's freaking that'd be awesome well for me listen man this is why it helped me and this is why i love talking to you i'm right now i'm nerd not right now like i love I'm not a nerd, but I nerd out of when people talk like it. Because comedy is the same thing. Comedy and jiu-jitsu, same fucking thing. Same animal.

You have a thousand jokes and you don't use no more. They work, but you don't use them no more. They got old. You evolved. You get yourself in the spot one night. There's Chinese people. You whip out a Chinese joke from 84. You're following I'm saying to you?

But it's the same thing with comedy. You get rid of that shit. I'm not. can't do an arm drag no more. That's purple belt shit. I'm glad. Even though that motherfucking arm drag killed motherfuckers for 20 years, you know? Yeah. Do you get bored of moves? Yeah. Do you? Yeah.

After 17 years? You get bored? Yeah, you get bored. You understand that there's, you understand it's not about the moves, bro. It's about the journey to the submission. How? Okay, I'm in your guard. Okay, foot in the hip. I'll clear that. Let's see what you do now. Okay, you want it back?

Okay, no, I won't give it to you. Oh, you really want this foot on the hip? What if I just hold it here? Oh, you're going to move your hip that way? Okay, so I'll just follow you. You want an underhook? Nope. I won't give you an underhook.

No, you want to set up it? Nope. Then the third time, if they do the same thing, then you go to the face. First, it was a chest, and then for them to learn not to do it again, you just push their face. Nobody likes their face pushed. So they sit back on the back. Now they're looking to possibly put their other hook in. I go, okay, no, I don't want that hook in.

And I just start blocking him. And when you start thinking like that, let me just make this guy's life a little bit miserable. Let me just see what he's trying to do and just take it from him. Just don't allow that to happen. You know what I mean? Don't allow it to happen. And just see what he does. Oh, you sat up.

Okay, I'll back out. Okay, let me see if I do that again. And we'll do it again. At what point do you attack, though? At what point? People do dumb things in the attack. You just fall in. to attack sometimes. Oh, great. Perfect. That was easy. When you understand timing and leverage,

bro, it makes it easy. And the thing is, is the easiest way to pass the guard is to not to try and pass the guard. Don't try and pass. A lot of times you'll see the, oh, wow, look at that. Neon Belli. He moved himself out of the way. The best way to escape the mountain is sometimes Sinanhas try to escape to study what he's doing. Sometimes you bump, oh, great. So 17 years, you're walking down the street when they whistling, minding your own business, and you see a jihitsu school and you walk over and sign up.

What happened? I watched UFC 4. That's the one that, and then I'm on, oh, man, who's this Brazilian guy? So then I went back and watched, you know, two, three, two and three, because UFC one at the time wasn't out.

I didn't see that until much later on. And I was wrestling in college at the time, and I'm like, I could do that. That would look fun. Now, because I could have continued wrestling, but I didn't want to. You know, I got recruited at two division one schools, and it was like, yeah, well, you know, you had to cut weight, be another weight class below. And I'm like, dude, I don't want to cut any more weight. And I was already super, already cutting weight.

And so I wanted, I loved grappling. I always kind of tried to be creative in wrestling. My wrestling coach used to call me a Thomas Edison Award. He gave me a Thomas Edison work because I was trying to reinvent shit. I was like, this has been working like this for 50 years. You don't have to change it. But I was always trying to find that, you know, that path of least resistance because wrestling is so hard, dude. Everything in wrestling is hard.

You know what I mean? As I've gotten old and I've applied jujitsu concepts to wrestling and makes a little bit more sense now. But man, when I was younger, it was just all go all the time. No timing, no rhythm. There's a rhythm. There's a dance in wrestling. There's a dance. You know, there's a dance in boxing.

You know, who's controlling the dance is the one that's landing the most punches. You know what I mean? There's a rhythm and stand. them. Well, I'm sure there is. I don't know what it is because I don't know that lifestyle. Everything has a rhythm. When you watch a basketball game, when you see a team fucking destroying like Lakers in the day, if you watch them, they had a rhythm. They just, it was just a fucking rhythm, you know, sometimes. I think it was Julius. Jitsu is the rhythm. Jiu Jitsu is the rhythm of everything. And when you see yoga well done, it's kind of a rhythm. It's an art. It's kind of a rhythm. Yeah, that's, you know, it's an art, man.

And everybody kind of has, every artist, every black belt is an artist, you could say, has their own interpretation. Hickson's interpretation is different than mine because of my experience, his background, my background. So it doesn't, you know, you know, Hoyle or same thing. All these guys that bring these different backgrounds, they all interpret the same information differently, I feel. Because they start to gain their own input of their own experience and things that have worked for them. That's why you see the differences in styles. It's the same arm bar, you know, same thing. There's three different ways you can accomplish the same goal.

You sometimes pick the one that you like the most. Same goal. Same goal. Untangling the arms, same goal. But man, there's a couple different ways to do it and makes it easy. Okay, got that. Okay, now I do that. Let's move on to the next thing.

You know, so that's in my pocket. Next time I get there, okay, untangles easy. You know, that's how you got to put it together. That's how you got to put it together. So you walk into this jitza school. What's this guy's name? Oh, Rodrigo Maderos. He was one of Carlson's black belts.

And you're starting there as day one. Starting there as day one. But I wrestled through college, you know, so I already had a wrestling background. I was there. Vitor went right after he fought Tank Abbott. Vitor was trained there. Marilla Bustamante was there. Valigi Ismao was there.

Who else was there? The big guy, Carloomba. No, was Bejto there? No, what was Bejto's friend? Passed away. Franco? Franco di Camago. Franco di Camago. So now you walk in there as a white belt.

I'm like, who are all these guys in their bikinis over here? Because they had the Speedos. They're walking out in the middle of weird. No shirt on, no shoes, just speedos out there. I'm such a Brazilian dude. So I walk in. I'm like, who are these guys? Hold in the wall while Ligi's head.

went through the hole, through the wall. Anyways. And the style just clicked for me at the time. The style definitely clicked for me at the time. Carlson style is very aggressive, very flow-based. So a lot of things in combination, tricky transitions, stuff like that. No real concept of connection. It was mostly speed and power. I felt comfortable in the style. And, And that's what I felt that I was using. You know, and whether or now you could do that to a larger person, I mean, I usually could, but it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. You should be able to be bigger people, almost the same as you be smaller people, same concepts, same leverage.

For the most part. It just takes longer time. They're stronger. So I did the tournament circuit. That's where I competed against Eddie. So I heard, yeah, you weren't even like battles. Yeah. Purple belt. You started a purple belt. Yeah. And you've known Eddie how long now? I mean, I probably met Eddie within six months. No, less than six months of me just starting to train Jiu-jitsu.

So 17 years you know Eddie. Yeah. I've known Eddie a long time. And seeing his evolution and his game and his transformation, you know, because he documented everything, documented everything, which I thought I have done also now finally, but he's been putting it out along the way. So you see his journey. You see what he was thinking in 2003. You know what I mean? What was he thinking? How was he thinking? How he's evolved if you know him now, right? It's like your history. So he's done a great job with that, and I applaud that.

I thought it was great. When did you incorporate striking into your game? I mean, I started in 97. I had my first MMA fight in 98. So within the first year, so I was a blue belt. So I got my belt relatively quickly in Jiu-Jitsu. I got a black belt in five and a half years. So that's pretty fast for most people, especially at the time.

Back then, they were promoting like super slow. You'd get sandbagged forever. So, so. Were you already a pro fighter? Were you going seven days a week? No. No, it was a very different time. I mean, I trained Jiu-Jitsu and then I trained with the boxing gloves on here and there

and try to take you down. And once I got people down, there was no stand-ups at the time. So your ass was down. All I needed was three takedowns. Because I got you down, I can stay there as long as I want. There's no such a thing as a stand-up. UFC incorporated that to increase the pace of the fight. You know what I mean?

Imagine if there was no stand-ups. Why wouldn't you be able to stand up? That doesn't make sense. What do you mean? Because in wrestling, you can stand up? Why can't you stand up and why wouldn't they're letting you stand up? This whole evolution of standing up off the bottom, this has not been around forever. Oh.

This has been in the past like five years or so. I mean, guys have gotten really good at that shit. Like, you see the evolution of MMA. If you know that's history, same thing with Jiu-Jitsu. You see the evolution. See the evolution. Or de-evolution, some of us call it. Do you get mad at some of like the new, I don't know, not fancy stuff, but like stuff like,

kind of like the DH rule in baseball, just when people change. I don't like that they're starting to add and change belts. I don't like that. I like the tradition of the way it was. Certain organizations started adding and changing belts, changing rank, and I don't like that at all.

You know, I think that's something that's like sacred ground. You know what I mean? and you shouldn't be doing it. Well, on the ad or whatever belt is for more money, it's like type one dope. But that's exactly the point. They started with five belts and now it's got 92 fucking belts.

That's why it's, that's why, well, I don't charge for belt promotions. Well, I charge for my test for Blue Belt, but I don't charge like kids. Like, I don't charge them to promote the kids. You know what I mean? That's not something you charge for. I don't believe that. So, too. Now, if you lose your belt or something, okay.

Yeah. But, I mean, you know, do you know what I'm saying? Right. No, I understand what you're saying. No, I get what you're saying. It's just, like anything else, jiu-jitsu has become a big-time business, you know. Sometimes things aren't all about money.

Right, and we know that, but for some people, they don't know. You know, it's like when I joined karate, it was $35 a month. You paid for your ghee, you got the patch, and you were good to go. I remember 10, 15 years ago when I first moved to L.A., I went to a Sub-Bak-Doh thing here. Every time I went in there, they were hitting me up for $35. $25 for something. Oh, you got to buy the books.

You got to buy the VHS state. You got to do this. You don't have to do shit. But this, it became a business. You know, it's become a business. But who gives a fuck? Now, two thousand.

I'm interested in this fighting thing. Oh, okay. 98. You have a fight. Now, when do you go pro? Open hand, dude. Open fucking hand. That shit hurts.

I did a tournament. The first three fights I had were in one night. Boom, boom, boom. I believe, yes. If it wasn't my first three, yeah, I think my first three fights were, was a tournament, and the eight-man tournament I made it to the final.

So I had three fights in one day. Getting smacked in the face. Well, or, well, trying not to get smacked in the face. You know? I mean,

this was very raw. This was early. Like, you ever seen, like, the early tap-out videos? Remember the old ones that they used to do? Like,

it was like that around that time. Some of those guys were all our buddies. The tabout guys. They were down in Orange County with you guys. Yeah. Yeah. No, they were on like San Bernardino area. Wow.

Yeah. So if you look at one of their first posters, I'm in the little wrestler using the poster. It's crazy how they started. No, it's been a fucking crazy ride. But for you, I just saw, you know, like when you pulled up, you have the strike base. I've spoken to Rose before. One of the improv was one night. And she was saying, you should go down there and see them.

It's a complete different fucking game. You're a really interesting guy. Like you, before, I was fucking mesmerized. He really had me going before. Because you're saying the truth. You're looking at it from a 17-year-old, a guy who's been doing jiu-jitsu for 17 years. Yeah, but you've...

Three more years, you'll become a master. Like, I guarantee when you're doing jih Tzu 20 years, you'll look back and go, what the fuck was I thinking at 10 years? I suck bad. That's how I look at comedy now. Yeah. At the 10-year mark, I was already in LA.

I was already had been on mad TV. You know, I thought I was the king of the world. I look at those tapes now. I want to light him on fire, dog. I'm going to light him on fire. But you know what? You saw that with Chris Rock. George Carlin's one of my favorite comedians.

I love George Carlin. But has his shit got older? He got way fucking better. He got way better. He got way better. And you saw the evolution. It's like, I mean, it was good here, but this show was, you know, amazing. You know, and Joe's the same thing.

You're going to be the same thing. You're going to see revolution. It doesn't mean that your fans, your fans are going to grow with you, which is a, that's awesome. They see you, they accept you for who you are. They love you and they're there for your journey, you know? It's an amazing thing. And it really is. It's a journey.

It's a journey. This comedy shit is a fucking journey. You know, you're talking about this eight-man tournament. And I'm thinking to myself, in those days, there was no blood test. No. They didn't wear fucking gloves. Commission. The mats had sperm on.

from the ref getting his dick sucked the week before, you know, and you do this. No commission. No commission. And you flip this. And this is like when I had to go to Rock Springs, Wyoming to do comedy and share a room with another guy and smell his feet and farts all night. In the middle of night, he'd just get up in the middle of night and light up a fucking cigarette in the room. I got a, you know.

I got a story about that. Oh, my God. It's such a, you know, the first four or three years of anything, you're just doing it to suffer in a way. and you think back like I did that shit what was I fucking crazy I could have gotten killed hobby you could have gotten killed

you know not by anything you fall over an unbar you think too much you have a fucking stroke whatever the fuck it is and you put yourself in those positions for what you loved and what you believed in

which is the fucking art you didn't even know you didn't even know believe me believe me I did not fight for money especially early on We're doing it because it was fun. We're good at it.

You know what I mean? So, I mean, that's what I was doing it. It was fun, man. It was fun to go to the casinos. It was fun to walk around with the belt. It was fun, man. Believe me, we're not making money. Now these guys now are starting to make some money, which is awesome.

In the very beginning, I didn't make a dime. Well, I made a dime after a year of doing comedy. I was getting $50 a week to host every Tuesday. You know, which is a big then. I started comedy when I was old. I started comedy when I was, whatever the fuck of this, 20-something, 32.

32? 32, maybe. Wow. 32, 42, 42, no. I started comedy at 28. But I didn't get serious until 31. I was just divorced. I had every credit card taken away.

I had a fucking card. I got jacked. What do you call that shit? When they come and repoed, repo your card and accurate integrity, where they repo. I had nothing. So I said,

I got nothing to lose. This is the time to do what I really want to do because I got nothing to lose. What do I got to lose? From what I've heard from comedians is they love their job, man. You guys love your job.

You have fun at your job. And that's, I mean, man, it's not even about money if you're having fun, man. If you can sustain a life, you're cool, and you can do something that you like doing, man.

I'm very blessed to be able to wake up and put pajamas on. and go have fun with my friends. What were your options when you were 20? Work at a grocery store. Stock and shelves. Were you in college?

You went to college on a fucking scholarship, so you at least will have got a college degree. I went, I went, well, remember, no, I didn't get a scholarship from high school. I was going to get a scholarship after junior college. So I was already like 21. So did my first two years at Mountsack Junior College. So, you know

It was funny because I had options You know, I had a bunch of options But now I had felonies So I was like, well, that takes away a ton of options But I could still do something You know And I kept thinking about the comedy I kept thinking about the comedy

Something drew you to it, you know? Well, you know what drew me to it, bro? That it's at night and I had my days That's what I really liked about it And I started asking more and more questions about it. Like, why? What I do this shit? I liked, my mom had a bar.

So I saw her in the daytime. You know, she could take care of me in the daytime. She was around in the daytime, you know. I like that. I didn't like that. People had to fucking work in the daytime. I fucking hated that. I hate the kids have to go to school at fucking 7 a.m.

Got to get up. Fuck them. No, they got to go to school. Fuck that shit. Cuban style. Come on a school at seven. I don't want to see your rotten ass till six and shit. say a little cock-and-sock.

No, but that's what I'm saying. Why can't they start at 10, you know? Fuck that. No, they're going to start at 6, man. Oh, fuck that. Because that toughens them up with a future machine. When they wake up and you got to put, I don't know when I was a kid, my mom would put, this is how Cuban we were. She would put a moseve of cod in my orange juice.

You know what a mose of cod is? Emu so de Kort. What is that? That's a mose of a fucking cod. It's a cod fish. And it's, they took the whole fish and they blended with fucking, you know, everything that's good for you. And it becomes a cream.

And your mom puts it on a spoon and gives it to you. And you're like, it's like eat when he eats edibles. And your mom goes, go ahead, spit it out. I'll fucking smack you and you're going to have to eat another one. So if you spit it out, don't worry about it. You're still going to have to drink. I'll fucking sit here with you until 10 o'clock. I don't give a fuck.

And she would, you know, and then finally, Mommy put it in the orange juice. She started putting in a freshly squeezed orange juice. And I would just fucking down it. you know that's how Cuban we were and then she would look under my eyelids and then my eyelids didn't have enough blood under that she would have a fucking heart attack though fucking Cuban Cuban people

that doing that shit Paul's mom gave her a most of cod Yeah Emosive of cod when you're a kid It takes you from level A to level B Jack It takes you to two fucking different levels It toughens you up

And you don't get fucking sick You don't get sick Your fucking immune system's on fire you're drinking the heart of the fish every fucking morning for breakfast. Are you fucking kidding me or what? That is just, I can't believe more.

And now they've pussyed it up for kids. They made it raspberry flavor and orange flavor, but it still smells, it still tastes like dick. The blood of the fish is still fucking in there. Oh, God. I never even heard of that, but that sounds terrible. Emotion de Cote,

Emotive of Cod. Look at it up, Lee. Put the picture up from your friends. You get the computer fucking working it. What the fuck? You're sitting there all done stuff that they win? No, we lost and it looks like Gronks hurt. You lost? Yeah, yeah. 22 to 21?

30 to 24. Oh my God. They got upset in Denver in the fucking snow. Grinikowski's heard it's all over and shit. What's going on here? Thank God they didn't put any money on. That's right. Thank God. No, I'm mostly... Did you put any money on that Ronda Rothschwe?

No, no, I don't know. I was at homeminding my business. I was in San Francisco working. I was in Jersey working. Oh, my God. Somebody made some do. Oh, please. It was like 22,000 the fucking three. Jiu-Jitsu just every time I watch the UFC

I, this is, look what it looks like. It's none of these see that red one, that's the fucking one now. That's raspberry flavored. The thing in the middle? But no, no, you're with the, you got to go to old school and most of a fucking when I see it, I go, bleh, that's how

you'll know. See, that fisherman, that's the motherfucker right there. Look at the ad. Oh, no, I don't even have it no more. Emuos young, they're good. That shit. Kids, that's what makes your dick harder than fuck.

When you're like seven or eight, your dick gets hard like once a month. Hard. You don't even, you call for your mommy. Mommy, what's happening? And your mom comes, she don't even know. I don't know. Oh, my God.

It's like, you're the exorcist. That's look at patable as milk. Is that true? Yeah. No, that means it tastes as good as milk. No, no, no, it don't taste as good as fucking milk. That's a lie. It tastes like milk with fish juice in it.

That's what it tastes like. It tastes like milk. And it's clear. It's a little thick. It's thick. It's thick. I'm thinking I'm going to get it because you know what? I'm going to start giving it to my daughter.

Oh, no. Why not? Oh, you'll cuffing that bitch up. Does it really work? Yeah, it really works, man. So why don't you take it now? Because I don't need that type of protection in my life. That's like if you're fucking people with AIDS and you're eating assholes and you're fucking people with AIDS.

Yeah, if you're fucking hanging out with people with hepatitis B and shit like that, that's when you drink that shit. Nothing will happen to you. You know, you're hanging out with normal people like you and fucking Harvey, you know, and Rose. I'm okay. I don't need that type of protection. When you're hanging out with fucking indecence, you know, and people of the savages. Charlie Sheen. This is when I was a kid.

This when I was a kid. I was always sickly, so my mom would give me this. And it kept building me up, and it kept, you know, like, they fucking added to my fucking craziness. She would give me stakes in the mousal of God. Cubans, bro, they toughen you up when you're a kid. That's the beauty of our culture that, see, like there's rumors that if you started acting gay around Cuban people in the 40s, they'd take your shark fishing. The parents would take your shark fish.

Mom, I'll pick up to go out there. I don't see no sharks. throw them off the fucking boat so you know it's just the weirdest culture they're the weirdest fucking bunch of people man you hear some crazy shit so that's what that's what I'm thinking Lee what's about Lee you're sitting there all fucking

nothing I was thinking when you were angry about the belts like what does your black belt mean like when you see how long it take you to get the black five and a half fucking years hobby what do you got to complain about Oh, I'm not going to blame. You broke the fucking record. BJ broke the record.

BJ broke the record. Jesus Christ, Harvey, five and a half fucking years. I've been a white belt for eight years. He haven't trained no eight years. No, no, no. I'm just teasing you, but five and a half years. Now, you were tearing it up in the circuit. Like, you were just coming back and they'd give you another belt.

Well, not exactly. From, okay, so my first, the first time he saw me, I was a white belt. My instructor said, you're doing the blue belt tournament. I'm like, am I a blue belt? And he's just like, no. I've been training like three months. And I'm like, okay, so I'm going to do a blue belt tournament, but I'm not a blue belt?

And he's like, yep. So we went up to Santa Cruz. I think it was like the second or third U.S. Open. It was like the second one. Now they're like on like 19 or something like that or 20. And I won my division. And along the way, I beat the guy that apparently won the Pan Ams in the finals. So three months later, I got my blue belt, like three months later.

So then, like, during my Blue Belt years, I won, like, 16 tournaments or something like that. Then I got a Purple Belt, which was a year later. So I was, like, competing whenever I could. And then Purple Bell, I did, like, there's less matches for Purple Belt back then, so I did, like, 12 tournaments, and I won all over. them. And then, so that was a year and a half at Purple. And then I got my brown belt. So at three years, I was a brown belt. And then I was two and a half years there was a brown belt. What was the first promotion you fought for? Neutral grounds. Out of here, California? Yeah, I think they were like

in Torrance area out there. You never went to Japan and all that with those, oh, you did? Oh, you did go I beat Rumi-a-sato in Japan. And was it like, what was it? What league was it? Shudo. Shudo. Shudo. No shit. Yeah. Look at you, Javier, that motherfucker, unbelievable. Shows up with croquettas and shit. We burping into my sleep at me a mask, for I. Yeah, so, man, I stumbled on a porn MMA, dude. You know, it wasn't like I woke up and I was like,

I'm going to train to be a fighter. That's not the way to evolve. No, no, no, no. That's not because you've got to look at the evolution of the sport, and I was just kind of riding that wave. So as guys got better, I tried to get better. When I saw people starting to do this more, you make adjustments in training.

So, I mean, to accommodate. So things, nothing, I've never seen a shock. Like, I don't know if I would have fought if I went into like an MMA gym today and just, okay, I want to be a fighter. I don't know if I could do that right now. I mean, the way it happened for me, I wouldn't change it for anything. I wouldn't want to do it now. I like the way it went for me.

You know what I mean? I like that ride. I mean, you just, you know, you just meet so many cool people on the way early in their career you know what i mean and um you know become friends with all these cool fighters you know it was it was a fun journey man it was a fun journey and a lot of it started here in southern california so you were right there i mean i don't know the history of the histories i just hear different stories and it seemed like a lot of fucking fun just you know and eddie all those years yeah you know like you competing with eddie and now look where eddie's at look at you have

your school he has his school it's just a fucking And again, it's like comedy. You know what I'm saying? 20 years ago, I was up in Seattle with Josh Wolfe. He gets on Chelsea lately. I get the podcast. Everybody's fucking happy. Now we hang out.

We talk. You know, it's a fucking journey that is just, I don't know. And I even enjoyed the bumps. Like all those years that I starved and things weren't fucking kicking. I would do them all over again, Lisa. Yeah. You grow from. Yeah, I fucking grew like a month.

Motherfucker. It took me a while. I had a big bump. I had a big bump in my career. You know, it's funny that you said that. One day I was out, I don't know what the fuck I was doing. Some guy came up to me. He's like, hey, you remember me?

We met, da, da, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, ah, yeah, whatever. You know, what happened? He goes, hey, when do you want to do a CD? Seriously, Joe. That's what happened. Oh, really? And he goes, when do you want to do a CD?

And I go, I don't even know what you're talking about. he goes, you should really do a CD. I go, all right, whatever, I'll see you soon. And he kept calling me. Did you tape the CD? Do you tape the CD? No, I didn't. He goes, why don't you go to a fucking place?

And he goes, I'll charge you whatever. And some guy will tape the CD for you. At the time, I was working on National Lampoon Radio. Did you know that, Lee? No. What is this? This is on sunset. We drive by it every night and we go to the comedy store.

You know that crazy lady dances across the street? Yeah, right when you get off Lower Canyon. Right, when you get off Laurel Canyon. Right in that building. there used to be National Lampoon Radio upstairs and I would do the martial arts movie minute I would talk about Sonny Sheba Bruce Lee or whatever the fuck I would talk about so what the fuck are we talking about working on the radio taping CD with Joel taping the CD with Joel and the guy that's funny you were saying that before he had been he did all these remixes for Led Zepplin

the guy was beat up the guy was like fucking 60 he had done everything drug in the fucking world. And I became friends of the guy. You know, nobody would talk to him at the studio. I always talked to him about music. He brought me recordings. So he goes, I tape the CD for you. And I fucking tape the CD and I sent it to Joe and we put it up for sale.

And every three months, I get a check for $8, $6, $4. And then the podcast thing started coming up. I think we taped another CD. You know, we taped a specialty. that I looked at the other day, it is so badly. We taped it 10, 10 of 10. Oh, I wasn't around for that. That was right before I came around.

With Felicia, you have to see how bad this is. You have to see how bad this is. You really do have to see how bad. I'm going to send it to you. You're going to go, was that you? Five years ago, and I was already headlined. Evolved, man. You know, and this is something happened.

It really fucking clicked. And I see it now. when I go to Jiu-Jitsu. The only reason why I kept going to Jiu-Jitsu, because I was so bad at comedy in the beginning, I knew that if you're stuck with it, something good would happen. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. If I would have started Jiu-Jitsu at 25, I wouldn't have stuck with it. There's no fucking way. Everything's evolving, man. Everything's evolving. When I first started Jiu-Jitsu, it's like Gracie Jiu-Git-Soo was like,

fucking impossible to get a hold of, unless you, you know, bought the tapes. It's like, where could I get this information? There's no schools. There's schools everywhere now. There's YouTube. You can learn moves on YouTube. There's no YouTube.

It was like every team had their secret moves, you know, their style, you know. So you had to watch out for that team's style. And no team would share the information with anybody else. It was crazy. It was crazy. That's what I went through with you did to when it started. It was, you know, there was this team and that team. And that's that team over there.

And you don't cross-training. you don't talk to them yeah they're from rio yeah we're from fucking the other part of it was that territorial yeah i mean everybody got along but yeah oh he why is he here it's funny i always see that on eddie's posters for his eddie he's like all everyone welcome i'm like why wouldn't everyone be welcome dude yeah that's crazy yeah some people only do seminars with their affiliations yeah eddie's eddie's got What Eddie's done with 10th planet is so cool. He's got such a cool group of people over there, you know?

I remember when it was at the bomb place. On Santa Monica across from the place that sells you. You like that place. I know you ate there or something. You told me, Cox. Which place? The Northern Food Company or some shit on Santa Monica Boulevard. Do you remember what the bomb squad was?

No, I never went to the bomb squad. The Bomb Squad was his first 10th Planet. It was across the street. from I never went in there. I heard people went in there. Got sick for fucking days. From what? The food.

Oh, I've been lucky I've never gotten food poisoning. So I don't know. It wasn't me. You know, two people I know got food poisoning over the weekend. Both eating Mexican food. John Salami and Eddie Brow. Oh, really? Eddie Brow was at home right now, fucking miserable.

Boulda. He ate tacos in San Diego. No. If not, he'd be here. Eddie Brow would have been here. Oh, shit. Why not? Rose is here?

You're gonna'an what the fuck family's in? I got sick and salami's sick. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Salami's got food poisoning too, so beware. Eating fucking Mexican tacos. I thought I was going to get food poisoning yesterday. I went to that place right up the corner.

And as I was in there, I was like, ooh, this place doesn't look good, but I was like, fuck it. I just got a couple tacos. You got to be fucking careful now, bro. People ain't doing food fucking right no more. They're filthy on. What happened? Something fine. My car alarm was going off.

Oh, yours was going on? That was yours for sure? Yeah, I think so. That's fucking crazy. You're gonna put some Tony Bennett on or what? Absolutely. You're with a duddy, not on me and shit. It's a Sunday night, November 29th and shit, you're fucking up.

I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. New England fucking losers. I know. You're the kiss of death. I want to be around to pick up the pieces. When somebody breaks.

Oh, yeah, cuck, suckers. It's your fault I wasn't there to watch. Jiu-Jitsu, little comedy tonight, people. We're mixing it all this. Who's that? Who's that? No, we don't take fucking breaks here. Let me do some shout-outs, and we'll get us out of here.

My girl Rose has to pee here. Zach Brody. What the fuck is going on? The bathroom's right there. Rain and Basio. I'm sorry for your loss. Gil Salcedo. Alex Zamora,

David Kay, Jeff Clark, Jim Burgess, Brendan Rigsby, and Eddie Brancaccio. I love you, motherfuckers. Eddie B's an old

North Berger, New Jersey, buddy of mine living in Orlando, Florida, down there with fucking Mickey Mouse. What's going on,

Lisa? What happened this weekend? What did I miss? Nothing. Thanksgiving was great. You have a nice Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving. Yeah.

It was a nice. Fucking Thanksgiving. That's an adventure. I didn't do dick. Okay, I got invited to go to two places. I went to Jiu-Jitza at 10. Which was fun. We got donuts.

We got donuts afterward. Then, fucking Lee went home, and he came back like 1.30. We ate some turkey. Then he went to his girlfriend's house, and I sat there with a baby and my wife, and the fucking sleeping pills came up in the turkey. Because the turkeys always come with sleeping pills. And that was it. I slept.

I got up like at six. People were beeping me. Where the fuck are you? I ain't going nowhere. I'm staying in. I'm getting old, Rose. You just get fucking bored. You're like, I can't.

I was on the road five out of six weeks I was on planes. You know, three of them for the East Coast. That sucks the fucking energy. Well, yeah, I hate the flyback. If I go East Coast, I try to stay there for a little bit. No, I got to come home. I miss the baby. You know, I miss the baby.

I miss my wife. So when I leave on Thursday, I come home on Sunday morning. So I come home in the middle of the night like a fucking. I'm walking around some nights at 4 in the morning. I just got in at 12.30. Thank God I don't drink. I'm doing new drugs or nothing. I mean, I smoke 15 joints and I drink a fucking decadinated coffee.

But that's the extent of it. I get tired, guys. That's a lot of fucking hours, man. Then during the week, I get up at 5. So the secret is I got to go home and fall, sleep at 10. But who goes to sleep at fucking 10? My wife goes to sleep at 10. I stay up to 1 and get peace of mind.

I watch TV, I make notes, I try to write fucking jokes. I talk to this fucking gazoo. I go to bed at 1,130. So I'm walking around at fucking 5. After three days, you're a zambore. You got a headache and shit from not sleeping. And I can't take sleeping pills. You know, I just can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't wake up. What about melatonin? That shit wears off after fucking four days. After four days, you're back to square one. Today I saw something really fucking interesting. I saw the last 24 hours of Michael Jackson. Anybody see that show?

No. God fucking damn. I never even heard about it. God fucking damn what that poor kid was going through. Michael Jackson? Yeah. Towards the end, man, he had such a bad addiction. He was taking pills to wake up and shit to go to sleep.

But the night he died, he took three heavy-duty fucking sleeping pills. Like three fucking fucking. that would put us to sleep for 12 hours. He took a short-term one, a long-term one, and a medium-term one. They were called benzodiaens or something like that. Or they had benzodiaens in them, some fucking craziness. And the guy's like, look, these three pills alone would fuck somebody up for 15 hours. This guy was still fucking awake.

That's when they put him that pro-hypnal shit. The pro-fucking, whatever that shit is. that they give to, what do they use that for for surgeries and shit. But, yeah, what is it? I think it's pro football. Pro football. Whatever.

So he was supposed to, he only administered 25 milligrams. He said that after he had he put 25 milligrams, Michael Jackson got up and poured half the fucking bottle in that. That's how crazy this motherfucker was. What it took him to go sleep for?

I took, I took, not I took, I did some research on like drug addiction on the brain, man, I have a different respect for addicts, man, because a strong enough drug, and granted the mistake was made to start drug to begin with, but you can get addicted to different kinds of things. So sometimes it's out of your control or, you know, you just don't know. But it basically hijacks your brain, the drug, the dopamine that's released by your brain,

which causes pleasure. the addiction to that pleasure, you can say, for that particular individual is so high that it puts, you know, it puts that drug, getting that drug feeling that high, feeling that happiness, you know, more important than anything. And then if you stay on it long enough, then it's permanent. You have to take that much just to be normal, to feel like you're not crashing. And man, you think about that, that's rough. You never did a hard drug? No, no. Never did a hard drug or anything.

But yeah, I was looking into that, into what is addiction? Why do, you know, and you just start, you're just like, Jesus Christ. Like, it's, it's something different, man. My addiction. My addiction jacked my brain, but I still wanted to do comedy. Like, I was a functioning fucking addict. You follow me? Like, I still did my comedy.

I still did movies. I still did TV. I still wrote. I just knew how to do an eight ball and how to fucking hide it. You knew it when you saw me. This motherfucker's pale. You know, why is he so fucking pale? People knew it.

You know, in your mind, you think people don't know. I just watch that movie with Denzo Washington when he plays the pilot. Oh, that's a great movie, Flight. And he flips the plane. How fucked up was he? This guy partied all fucking night. did a couple lines of coke to straighten up and got on a plane and flew it.

That's a reality, guys. That's a fucking reality. People do it all the fucking time. For 10 years, I walked around, getting on planes, you know, going into hotel rooms, walking out of that four, foaming from the motley Lamar-Odom. You know, I did all that fucking crazy shit.

Got on planes thinking I got on a plane one time. In 1987, I was so fucking coked up. In those days, there wasn't no. tunnels to the plane. Do you follow what I'm saying to you? Like you got exposed to the outside. You walked on the ground. So if it was raining, it was raining.

And I remember being in Canada airport and people with jackets freezing with snorkels walking to the plane. And me walking to the plane with a t-shirt like this, Rose, with steam coming out of my back like I fucking was an angel. You understand me floating to the fucking plane?

That's how, fucked up I was. I had the jacket in my hand sweating profusely. Steam is coming out of my fucking back. I had been snorting blow for three days. Didn't stop. In fact, the third day, the pipes

went. We snorted coke with candles and three feet of fucking water. Walking around like scuba man. This is addiction right there. Me and four other guys and their chick with a skirt on. I had never seen before. You can't write this shit. I got on the plane.

and before the plane even took off I got up so many times to go to the bathroom to small coat this is crazy and I think about this this whole day now then I got up so many times

I was embarrassed so I would just take the little dish the little fucking thing that you pop down and I put the blanket over my head and I do cook under the thing and I popped the blanket off

and make believe I was just under hanging out that's how fucking crazy I was Rose in 19 87. That's how crazy I was. I think about that shit now.

But then I think about Michael Jackson's shit. That's next level. Because that's a, those are like pain pills, sleeping pills. Oh my God. And he was on him.

First of all, do you know that motherfucker had a wig? That was a wig that was stitched on. Was he bald? Bald. Bald, like fucking Lysayat Ball.

Because when he burnt his head in the Pepsi. commercial. The burns were so deep. He can't even grow hair there. You could see during the Pepsi commercial as they're pulling them off that this is on fire right in the middle like a fucking little old man like in a yarmica there. He was a black Jew lead. Did you see that by God? God burnt him there from all the money he had and he should burnt them sizzled that little juice spot there. And did you see the documentary that they were filming as he like before he passed away? Okay. That was great. But do you know why? Why? Let me tell you the fucking story to the

documentary. Here you go, guys. The rehearsals were going so bad that they were thinking of pulling the plug on the tour. The guy that came out during the tour, the dude that came out during that movie. Did that guy? Sent an email to the producers in England saying, dog, this ain't going to work. He ain't going to do two nights, never mind 50 fucking nights. He was addicted to the time his death of Demerol. He was go to the doctor's office right in Beverly Hills and they'd shoot him with fucking Demerol every day. Two, three shots of fucking day. Okay, that's why his lungs and his breathing was so bad. His cardio was so bad at the end, he couldn't even do the fucking dance moves no more. So what he did was, he went and he got hooked up with Ephedrin. Is that

what you take? Effodrine. No, no, is that what you would take? Oh, I don't know. I don't even know what that is. He went and took, like, straight up Ephrodron. which is like an adrenaline boost. And the day they said tape, tape that so we could see it and send it to us, that's the documentary, bitches. Oh, my God. He did 40 minutes, and it was perfect. They green lit it.

They said, fine, that's bullshit. He's fucking. So what you're telling me is, for the last two weeks he's been coming in here, all fucked up. And today he comes in jumping up and down like Johnny fucking Piper. So they found, bro, when they fucking did his autopsy, he had two pages of drugs in the system. Two pages, guys. Just pill after pill after pill after. It was fucking crazy.

It's a different type of addiction. You know why? He was going up to people at parties. What do you do, sir? I'm a doctor. Oh, my God. Can I ask you a question? I can't fucking sleep midnight.

What does your physician say? Well, my physician has put me. on this, this, this and this. So right away, you want to be the fucking doctor to save Michael Jackson. Come to my office tomorrow. Let me check you out and do a thing. He had that scam going with eight fucking doctors

in Beverly Hills. I bet he didn't even have to go. He was Michael Jackson to probably get it. He was getting pills sent to him from all over the fucking world. It's, it's, and you know, when I saw this today, it's, I couldn't live that. I could never live that.

I'm surprised he made it to, 50. He's been hooked since 1986, 1987. But what started him? I mean, that, I mean, aren't you, isn't anybody curious about what caused him to start

whatever? Yeah, because look at him as a little kid, a cute little kid, and then how does it get to fucking... He's a cute little kid. He's getting abused from his father. You know, I mean, listen, guys, there's a thousand fucking stories. But there's a thousand

stories to how you react to them. You know what I'm saying? I knew growing up what drugs were about. I knew growing up what drugs were about, Abby. My mom did coke. I didn't fucking like it. I used to say, wipe your fucking nose, and I wouldn't talk to her for a day or two.

I didn't fucking like it. I always had a thing that I was always going to smoke pot. I liked it. I like smoking pot and listening to music. I never dreamt to put nothing up my fucking nose. That was not who I was, and I was fucking 15, 12. But something happened when I was 16. that switched the fucking button.

What could it have been? I snorted Coke before my mom died, so you can't blame it on that. Don't fucking blame it on that. Don't even, you know, don't blame it. You know, everything that we do, we blame something on.

The only person you could blame for being hooked on anything is yourself. I don't blame nobody. I can't blame. I can't be mad at nobody for getting hooked on anything but my fucking self. Listen, man, I gambled.

I gambled. And I fucking hated paying the bookmaker on Thursdays. It bothered me to death. We've discussed this a thousand times. I had a lot of fucking bad habits growing up that I did. But the one I justified was cocaine. Because in my mind, I got something from it. I didn't get nothing from it. In my mind, it was better than gambling. In my mind, it was better than going to a bar and spending $100 dollars in my mind. God knows what that.

I know that no amount of drugs are dying over. I know that. I know that once you get to that fucking point. Tricks your brain, man. He was $400 million in debt. No. That's why he had to do this tour. How do you get $400 million in debt?

This tour was going to fucking justify everything. What was the name of the tour? This is it. Right? Wasn't that the name of the fucking tour? Yeah. At least it's a documentary here. This is it.

This is it. If this don't work, this is it, Michael Jay. You lose the circus. You lose the museum. At the time of his debt, he was $400 million in debt, and he had 25 lawsuits against him. 26 lawsuits against him. For all kinds of stupid.

And now he made $2 billion last year. He's the highest paid dead guy fucking ever. Ever! Like he brought back fucking everything. It's so gross. Remember, you're more people. people like that, you have more work dead than you are alive at that point. He was probably too much of a nuisance at that point.

Like now, I didn't know he owed that much and best that made people off. Now I think even, like, did anyone talk about it being like a hit or anything like that? No, in a perverted mind and a perverted world where I came from, I see things for what they are. You know, Dr. Mary said he didn't fucking go in there. They gave him a lie detector test, the whole fucking thing. He said he didn't go in there. He said he administered 25 fucking milligrams. You think Michael Jackson's going to get up?

He weighed 130 fucking pound. He was 5'4-10 or 5 foot 11, whatever the fuck he was at the time of his debt. You think he was going to get up and throw fucking more juice in that fucking thing? Somebody threw juice in that thing. I'm not, no conspiracy theorist. Maybe the fucking doctor did fucking kill him

and took the 25 million and lost his license and got out of the debt. and he could still bang women and shit like that. Remember he was banging the two Chinese chicks and flying them around the world, slinging dick telling people he's Michael Jackson's doctor. So December 13, what goes down, my brother? Talk to me. Man, EBI, EBI 5.

EBI 5. Orofeem Theater, also pay-per-view on Budo videos. Yes. Okay, so what goes down? Talk to me. Man, 16-man tournament, 155-pound weight loss, the best of the best. are you weighing at right now? 155.

No shit. So you stay at one. This is what you walk around that. I know I'm a wait. You're fucking beautiful. Normal weight. So, brackets are out.

So, it's not easy. Who's in your bracket? On my half of the bracket, I'm fighting this guy, Lucas Brown first. And then I'd get the winner of Eddie Cummings and Steve Martinez.

And then on the other half of my bracket, Nathan Orchard is going against the guy, and then Hanayaya is going against the guy. And then the winner of those matches will go against each other, and the winner of that would go against me. So my lineup would potentially be, if I win my first match, that guy, Eddie Cummings, probably Hanayaya or Nathan Orchard, and then I would be in the finals. Rough, it's a rough side of the bracket.

It's depending how you look at it. I look at it very differently. I don't even look at it as easy or hard. I look at it as I've been having my eye on these guys for a long time. It's one way for me to get them all in one night. What's the purse? If you submit everybody in regulation, 20 grand. And then they have different brackets.

Yeah, and then, yeah, winter take off. 20 grand. So only the winner gets paid. Fucking tremendous. And he's doing a great thing with this EBI. Even to see him, like I said, from the bottom squad over to Highland, over the Burbank, and now fucking his own place downtown. He's a bad motherfucker.

What's up with you over there, cocksucker? You're crying because of New England Patriot? No, I'm good. It's crazy. I was just thinking it's crazy that he's on EBI 5 now. I remember this is like a real event now. Yeah. Well, I know.

that UFC Fight Pass just bought them Somebody just picked them up Somebody from the Like those videos where they have all the archives What's that station where they have all the archives? Yeah Probably UFC. Dot TV or one of those things

Pick them up so no they're real They're fucking real man It's gonna be it's it's fun man it's a fun format It's man you kind of strips away A lot of the problems in Jiu-Jitsu I think The fact that you have to finish just takes away everything.

Nothing else matters. Passing guard doesn't matter. Mountain doesn't matter. Mountain doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. No points, no nothing. The only thing that matters is if you can finish or not. How much simpler is that?

You can't make it any simpler than that. So the winner can call themselves a Jiu-Jitsu champion to me, a guy who submits everybody and is playing that game without points because it doesn't matter, Joey. I can roll with you for an hour. Okay, we'll roll an hour. and in that hour, you know, I'm very free with the way I roll. So I'll give you side, man.

I'll give you my mouth, give you my back, give you whatever, just so I can practice my escapes, you know? That's kind of my mentality. I'm going to let you attack and I can defend. Be fun. And, you know, you start to really simplify your game, man. You start to go down to the basics. What works, what doesn't?

Because nothing matters unless it's, you know, you tap in the guy. Nothing matters. It makes things so much easier, so much simpler. It's that much more pure Jiu-Jitsu? That's what you feel. Yeah, well, you know, it's the journey, like I said, it's the journey to the submission, what's going to happen, you know,

in that journey to the submission. Because there's no journey in a point-term, right? There's just no journey. Do you understand what I'm saying? You and I shake hands, we go, it's a journey. What can I get? What are you going to give you your neck, your wrist, your elbow,

your knee, your ankle, what can I get? What are you going to give me? And it's positioning myself and see, what are you going to give me? And that journey, you can't credit, it's not credit, credit's not the right word. You can't compare the journey to a point tournament with the journey to the submission because there's a finality to it.

You know what I'm saying? So that journey, how do you do it? Like I've been studying that. I've been studying Eddie Cummings a little bit, kind of how he does his leg locks. Have you ever sat there and watched how he does it? It's crazy. It's a system.

It's just looking at it. It's a system. It's a system. Wraps your leg, slowly starts to climb until he positions his legs. Once he positions, the whole time, all he's doing is holding your leg.

You're not really in danger. He's positioning himself before he's wasting his energy, trying to finish you from bad position. So he maintains control first. It's very smart. And once he positions his legs in the proper location, then he starts to attack the same. submission. You understand your counter sequences. He has counters for those and he keeps himself a

step ahead. You know, very intelligent, very intelligent, very systematic way to attack a problem. The only way to beat that is to systematically figure out a defense. To be in this tournament, you have to be very intelligent. Just to be invited to this, it's a different intelligence of jihitsu. You pointed out in the beginning, you go to three schools and they'll three, teach you three basic moves with one variation different than the other. Because it's an art. It's their expression of the arm bar. It's that impression.

This is the way the arm bar works for them. Exactly. You know, it's, like I said, I fall in love with it at a late age. I wish I would have fell in love with it earlier. I wish I could train every day, you know, but I can't have to recover. You know, I get it. When I go, I go. I like it.

I really enjoy it. I don't enjoy the top game. I enjoy getting out of the bottom game. Oh, man. You got to come by one day. Even though I'm a big fat fuck, yeah, when I breathe and I run a rest, I'll get on top of your rest. But my whole thing is to learn how to get on my back. You've got to come by and train with me for an hour.

Just come by and train with me for an hour. Let me show you how simple it is. Let me show you how simple it is. How long has your school been open now? Four years, you see. Four years. We just expanded it. We just added showers, law,

room, kids' room, massage room, doubles our mat space. So we, it looks like the four seasons that plays, you know. It's like nice, you know, it's very clean. Very important, that's very clean. People feel safe in my gym. I feel safe in my gym. I couldn't have a messy place, dude. Couldn't do it. So, you know, as it is, you know, you're kind of already putting yourself in risk of getting hurt. You don't want to not get hurt and get some sort of a freaking skin infection or something, you know? important so so yeah everything we do self-defense and strike-based jiu-jitsu you can say right don't get hit buddy that's the whole thing is not getting hit not getting it's uh like I said just walk every time I walk out of a

jih Tzu class it's the best day of my life because I've already done the hardest thing I had to do that day yeah a lot of people look at it that way and it's funny because I hate fucking night classes. I fucking hate them. You're like morning, enough? Yeah, I want to get it over with. I wake up, I got to catch that 11 o'clock class somewhere and get my dick hard. That's what gets me fucking going for the day.

When I do kettlebells, I want to go early, 11. That's 7 o'clock, the 10th planet San Diego's, I love him. I love boogeyman Martinez and his boys, and there's some crazy Mexicans. But 6 a.m., I got to get up at 3.30. I got to drink some coffee. I got to smoke pot. Right or wrong, you gotta get balanced, you gotta get sea legs. I just can't fucking wake up at 10 to 6 and go fucking roll.

I'll puke. I'll fucking puke. I'll fucking puke, dog. Why? Because it's fucking waking up and just going right down. It's like what Higgen Machado sat in that chair and said that they would put mats downstairs. They would sleep on the mats. Then they would wake up in the middle of the night and go, hey, let's go.

And they would just, I can't fucking do that. I got to breathe a little bit. I got to go for a walk, get my energy up. I got to drink coffee I got to smoke a few fucking bongats Then I have a great time going to Jiu-Jitsu But I don't want to go to Jiu-Tzutsu to struggle from the beginning That's why I say it takes me a little water

Yeah You know what's funny is I try to do that with my guys a lot You know you come in I don't expect you to be killing people on day one You know you got to It's got to be a slow pace And if you really don't want to hurt people

You let them tell you when they're ready to start sparring So just drill the positions first. You know, that's my beginners program. There's no sparring until they're ready. If they choose to spar like if a guy's a wrestler, I wrestle through high school, okay, you're not going to let that guy spar? That's the whole point. Let that guy spar. He kind of understands balance and movement stuff.

He's not afraid to get hurt. For people who are afraid, I don't push him to spar. I'm like, you're going to have to at some point, even if it's positional sparring, like escape the mile ready to set go. I mean, at some point you're going to have to do it, you know, but some point. people feel more comfortable earlier than others. You know? So you have to understand that.

Because if you push them to spar and they get hurt, that's the whole point of them being afraid. Now you just screwed yourself because now their biggest fear of getting hurt doing it just happened. So you've got to let them be comfortable. I was never a fear getting hurt. I got kicked in the stomach and off and broken noses.

You know what? You know, it's my ankles and shit. I just want to be able to... I'll go on stage with a lot. bandage on my head. You know me. I don't give a fuck, Jack. I don't give a fuck. I'll go on stage with a sling. That wasn't my main thing. My main thing

I can't describe to you the anxiety I would get on the bottom. You got me inside control. You've got to come by. You have to come by. I will fix that problem. And then little by little. No, no, no. Now I tell people, come on, let's go. Now I over, come on. Let's go. Let's go.

And come on, let's go. But there's certain things that you, like, certain things if you take away certain things from the person on top, just certain things. They freak out and your escape route becomes a lot more obvious. You know what I mean? There's certain things you can't give that guy on top of you. And once you take that away, the escapes will come because there's no control. You know, it's great when you can do whatever you want, you know, when you're on the bottom and turn and adjust however you want. The problem is when somebody can hold you there, stick you there, and then position and attack. Do you understand what I'm saying?

So long as you can move on the bottom, so it's a matter of detaching yourself from your opponent and understanding where the attachment is and just not giving the opponent that. And once you understand that, being on the bottom is nothing because there's no, they can't, where's the danger? I want to see how you're going to get me. If I keep you away from this, this and this. Go, what else do you have? There's nothing. Once you shut certain doors, they can't get through those doors, like everything else,

the escapes are coming easy, man. Give me an example. Can't get through the doors. Frames. Certain frames that you use with your arms, you can't get there. You can sit there and push against that frame as much as you want.

You're not going to get through. So you've got to make an adjustment. You got to get around this frame. So I'll sit there and I'll frame you. And I'll wait. I'll wait for you to move. See, what are you going to do? Because I know, because I've been there so many times,

I know you're either going to do A, go this way, B, do this, or C, do that. I know what your three options are. There's nothing else you can do. That's why I let people side mount me and mount me. I want to see something new. I want you to catch me so I can add something else to the system. So that's how you test the system. You put yourself in that same spot over and over and over and you start taking notes.

They're doing this. They're doing this. They're doing this. Okay. First problem. They're doing this. What's an easy solution for that? Some solutions are easier than others.

So that's kind of how I look at Jiu-Jitsu. Put yourself deep in a triangle. You circle one way, it's going to get a lot tighter. You circle the other way, it gets a lot looser. So what direction do you think you should circle, the way it gets tighter or looser? So you're in a triangle. Now you already know which is. to go. How much more

do you think you're going to escape a triangle just by knowing which direction you should circle? If you circle one way, for sure it's going to get worse. Do you know what direction that is? No. Wouldn't that be valuable information? Yes.

I'll show you. I'll show you. We'll do it after it. Let's wrap this motherfucker up real quick here. Let's give a shout out to the sponsors. We've got some good sponsors this week, people. Getting fucking fired up for the holidays. Listen, for 9,000 years, that's how long humans been drinking wine.

That's how long they've been confused about which wine to drink. You got red wine, white wines, chardonnays. Some people got a headache after they drink wine. But for a lot of people, it's just shopping for a wine that gives you a headache. You know, you're going to parties this time of year. You're going a lot of holiday parties. Everybody wants to bring wine. You don't know what the fuck to bring.

Some of it's expensive. You don't even have a guarantee of what you're going to buy. So, you know, it is what you're going to have. have to do. Do me a favor. We joined this new club called ClubW, and they changed everything. It's easy. You go to clubw.com and you answer six simple questions. They'll what's his wordly? Algorithm. Their algorithm creates a palette profile just for you. Then they send wine directly to your door, perfectly customized to match your taste. That word always throws me out at night. You know what I'm

saying algorithms. Club W is the leading grapes to glass wine revolution. You understand me, they work directly with the vineyards to cut out the metal man which saves you money. So at Club W, you get premium wine customized to your taste at a third of what you pay at a store. Are you with me? They even have a no risk, 100% money back guarantee that you'll love what they send. Now do me a favor. Listen, the holidays are coming. You want to get out of a fucking Christmas present? by spending a bunch of money, this is the way to go.

Club W. What's a bottle? It's like $13 on average, but they're giving it half off the first order. Half off the first order. You get three, four bottles of wine. You go to people's hours. You give them a bottle of wine. Merry Christmas.

You shake the hand. You get the fuck out of there. And they send you, oh, the wine was delicious last night. You know, and all of a sudden, here you are Johnny Interesting. You're not Johnny Interesting. You went to ClubW.com.

You answered the questions. They did the algorithm. And they gave you a palette profile of what kinds of wine you'll like with what kinds of food, how to cook the meal. They give you a thousand different things, videos. Go to ClubW right now. This is what they're going to do. They're going to give you 50% off your first order when you go to clubbw.com slash Joey.

Listen, the holiday seasons are coming. You don't want to show up fucking empty-handed. And if you're like an idiot like me, you don't know what you're doing when it comes to wine. Why fuck around? You want to seem interesting? you want people to like it. You want people to think you're hip and you're cool and you want to keep getting invited to the party, right?

And you're going to be interesting because their wines are just for them so that everyone else is going to go to the store and get the same brand of wine. You see what I'm saying? You're going to be the one with the clothes. Oh, what's that brand? That's cool. Oh, my God. Wait, you got this.

Look at the label. It's grown in Memphis. Go to clubbw.com. You have 50% off your first order and go to ClubW slash Joey. Stop wasting time and stop messing up. around at retail stores wasting money on shit you don't know nothing about go to club w.com slash joey and get 50% off your first order right why you get me all excited for number two listen again it's the holiday season you're gonna what's this Lee text I got it already

who you think you're dealing with some novice 28th Street this for quarter four 2015 why you got to kill me here All right, I've told you about our sponsor Next Issue and how it's the best way to read all your favorite magazines anytime, anywhere. Well, now, next issue's new name is Texture, and it has a spectacular new features that makes it the best reading experience around. Here it is. Texture is the app that gives you an all-access pass to the world's best magazines

right on your phone and tablet. Browse 100 of magazines cherry-picked the articles that interest you the most. You don't got to read shit. They've got none to do with you. The Texture editorial team recommends stories for me daily, plus their curated collections, let me dive deeper into the topics. Sign up at texture.com right now, and in a mere seconds, you're going to gain insight information to the very best reads plus exclusive content. If you don't know what... Sorry about that.

That's not like Mickey Mouse and Heat. If you don't know what I'm talking about here, texture is a magazine app, and they got the best magazines around from Billboard to... The Bloomberg business, the men's health, the Rolling Stone. They got all the ESPN magazines. They got all the ESPN magazines. They got all the top names. What's the other one? Not Rolling Stones.

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I don't know what. I think it's going to be Joey, but. Well, let's go to, no, no. Okay, okay. No, I'm sorry. Try text shit for free right now. When you go to text shit.com slash history, think about it. You'll gain unrestricted access to the world's best magazines from back issues to the ones on newsstands today all the way to the back.

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They've hit me back and said, that's a really cool app. That's why I got into it myself. My wife is downloading it for the trip. My wife ain't playing games. You get access to all of those things. It's not like you have to buy them individually when you're in there. All those things, if you buy them individually, are expensive. So you have access to hundreds of all those magazines.

Speaking of expensive, Hitty Sigs right now, we've got an awful going on. 50% off. They used to be, how much a piece? 20. 20 a piece. Now they're 10 apiece. You get 5 for 50. Hitties Sigs, the best.

I'm talking about the best electronic cigarette on the market, okay? 1200 guaranteed pups we ain't fucking around here no more you could puff your way into the new year and beyond all right five for 50 you get the 24 16 8 and zero milligram plus you got a cigar how's that one for you and the best sponsor my world on it dot com supplements you know i'm talking about alpha brain press joey's church in at tennie six all right hitty six place joey's church yeah five for 50 all right number three for honor honor dot com I'm the best, the best supplement. You understand me.

You see me? I'm not sick. That's the fucking new mood. What is it? The Trum Tech immune. Because I take two of those in the morning, two of those at night. People breathing on me, I take it to two extra ones and shit. How many people breathing on you?

How are you going to make me laugh for, Lisa? Anyway, go to honor. com right now and press slash. and get 10% off your first daughter, the cocksucker. So I want to thank Club W. I want to thank Texture. I want to thank Honor and Hittie 6th.

I want to thank my man Javier Vasquez. I had to fucking think about that before a minute. I had to focus and watch them on EBI 5, December 13th, go live to the Orphium Theater, or go to Budov Videos.com right now and get the pay-per-view and you can eat chips and shit. Listen, it's going to be a great week of fights. You have the UFC on Saturday,

And you got Javier Vasquez on fucking Sunday. All right? So what do you want from me? I want to thank you again. What's the name of the school? Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and Rancho Cucamonga. There we go with the fucking Gracie name. Everybody's fucking making $10.

It's all over. It goes all the way back to Brazil. I fucking love it. What's up, Rose? You just sitting there relaxing, smiling. Lee, you good? I'm great, man. You're picking me up tomorrow, a quarter of the 10 to go to Jiu-Jitsu?

I guess so. All right. Beautiful. Doc Suck, don't forget about me. I love you guys. See you Tuesday or Wednesday. We haven't decided yet. Have a great weekend.

This weekend, Long Island, Saturday night. Governors Levy Town, 7.30 and 9 o'clock show, 945 or some shit. Come on down. It's a savage dead tour the beginning. It starts in Long Island. I love you guys. Stay black. Have a great two days.

This show is brought to you by ClubW. Go to ClubW. Go to ClubW.com slash Joey. to get 50% off of your first order of great wine coming from ClubW. And they're a wine club that changed everything. They have a 100% no risk, guarantee that you'll love what they send you. Go to ClubW.com slash Joey to get 50% off your first order. Go to texture.com slash history to get a free trial of their great new app

that gives you access to hundreds of great magazines. like ESPN magazine. Go to texture.com slash history to get a free trial and go to honor.com to get 10% off. Go to honor.com. Use code for church to get 10% off.

And go to hit e6.com. Use over Joey's church to get 5 for 50.