The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #351 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Ray Cannella

Episode Date: January 28, 2016

Ray Cannella, Head Of Programming for Screambox, a horror film subscription site, calls into Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Ring: Go to ring.com/church to get Free expedited FedEx shipping. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.

This show is brought to you by ring.com. Go to ring.com slash church to get free, expert added FedEx shipping on Ring, which is a brand new video doorbell service that goes straight to your phone. It's ring.com slash church. And go to honor.com slash church to get 10% off all the great optimization products like alpha brand and new mood. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers, Uncle Joey here with the flying you,

the flying you, the flying Jew, welcome to the church. of what's happening now, Wednesday, January 27th. Who the fuck knows who was that buried in the seat till they were here? I got a little pink floyd in the background here, the album Wish You Were Here. I have no idea when it was released. I just know this is a badass album, but I didn't notice a couple things until I actually went and got the album last week. These fucking albums, not only they come with like sleeves, with the lyrics on them and shit,

they also got posters. Really? A fucking poster comes in the album. You know, listen, it ain't. In fact, we might even hang it up over here on the fucking wall. Look at that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.

That's wish you were here. That's the whole thing. So you got a little bang for your buck. It's not now. You got a fucking empty CD, you know what I'm saying? And how much would that cost? You got a whole poster? $7.99.

$6.99 tops. No way. That's great. This album was like $28 fucking dollars now. Yeah. Same album from 20 years. You know, it's amazing how they've capitalizing this. Because they said it was going away,

but then they fucking brought it back because it just sounds better. It's like the other night that was watching a fucking movie. And I'll tell you what. Watching this movie was a, oh, entourage. Oh, the entourage in the middle. And it was so fucking bad.

That's what I heard. But what made it even worse was the camera, the film, whatever they're using. That digital shit, it takes away from what we were used to. So they're thinking that it looks better. But in three or four years,

people are going to start going, you know what? We like that all. Oh shit, you motherfucker's that. Most people do like it. I think Scorsesey still shoots on film or likes to shoot on film. And I think Tarantino might too, but they don't do it because it looks better. They do it because digital is just so much cheaper than film.

Film is like Kodak closed. It's so expensive. Like that was the most expensive part about going to, like other than tuition. That was the most expensive part of going to film school. You know, it's not bad enough that like gas stations are corporate and all this shit And all these businesses that you grew up on clothes, like, you know, there's no more newspaper delivery for kids. Nobody really reads a newspaper anymore.

That was a big part of America's fabric that a kid, you know, had a newspaper out. He learned how to sell. He learned how to just do little things. One of the things I can't believe, you know, the phone booth disappeared, you know, but one of the things that really fucked with me is the Kodak Shacks disappeared. Yeah, those one-hour photoschets, yeah. Like that whole business disappeared.

Like in L.A., let's say when you moved to Los Angeles, and you want to sign with an agent. The first thing this motherfucker says to you is, where's your headshot? Now, for some people, you're like, what the fuck's the headshot? You got to go, find a photographer, not just any photographer, a photographer they recommend. Then the guy charges you $350. No way. Then he gives you a CD. Then you've got to pick the fucking shot.

And then he has to develop it for you and give it to you. But he doesn't just give it to you. He sends it to a studio. So the thing costs you $11.99. Now you got to get little pictures, four by sixers, for your agent. So you have to give the fucking CD to your agent. And then he looks at it with a jeweler's eye. Okay?

And then you have to take it back and get four by sixes made. That's another 50. And then you take him back to the agent. And he decides whether or not what shot he's going to use. Then you go back to that fucking moron. And you've got to get 300 headshots. for $99. Plus, there's a $49.95 startup feed.

Every time you bring a new headshot. It was a scam. It was a fucking huge scam. And they were doing, everyone comes to this town and wants headshots. Everybody. I mean, think about it. So if you go to a place on, across from, not Cheebo, but Gaucho,

Gaucho Grill on Sunset, a little down from rock and roll rouse. Oh, okay, right, right. Across the street from there. I forget what that street's called on the corner. That guy had that whole corner 10 years ago. He had 30 employees. You couldn't walk in there and stand on a line.

Now he has one little window in the corner, and he's a one-man operation. And very seldom do people go in there and get 30 headshots made because everything's done in the computer. So now that business got cut off. How? Because now you go still get a headshot. And that fucking dude charges you $3.50. and sends you the CD.

But now all you have to do is make one copy of that. Take it to sunset by Fairfax, and there's casting offices there. You take them in there, and the chick will download it for $50, which is always a real kick in the balls. Why does he cost $50? You're allowed to have three shots,

but once you have four, and I'm exaggerating, it costs you like $35 maybe for show facts. Then if you want to be in commercials, you have to go to La Brea upstairs by Pecco and upstairs they have a little office and you got to give those guys $50 fucking dollars per headshot

and you're a commercial agent because he's a fucking mutt he'll think he's Johnny creative and he'll go do me a favor go down there give him the shot of you mowing the lawn give him the shot of you dressed as a cop give him the shot of you fucking putting a fire out

give him a shot of you you know fucking cooking that's 200 bucks dog I used to tell him pick a fucking shot and go to work, cocksucker. What is it like for you during headshot sessions? Like, the place where our office used to be, there were always people shooting headshots,

like in front of the screen. Dreadful. Like, do you just hate every second of it? I don't know what's worse. Taking the pictures or looking at them. Listen, I just went, I was going to sign with an agent. I went and talked to her.

She gave me a sheet of paper. She goes, you got to go drop three fucking, pick one of these guys. So I picked the chick in the valley. Nice lady, you know. I went up there. You know, do I know if she's a bad for, She's a good photographer.

Listen, who did he couldn't make me look good at this age. Okay, my fucking hair is done. My face looks like I got hit and stretched. You know, the fucking headshots just don't look good to me. Out of the 80 fucking headshots, there's one of them that I let you see. Because the rest of them are not flattering at all. I've never been flattering. You know what I'm saying?

Like some headshots are real. Some head shots are fucking real. Like when I did that De Niro movie, the guy and me hit it off. Right. He sent you a bunch of cool pictures, right? He sent me cool pictures from the set. But when I asked them to do my head shots, oh, boy, they were a little too real. My head was a little too big.

You know what I'm saying? Like, it was just, it's weird. It's the fucking weird thing. It's weird as a big guy. I hate. I hate all that shit. My face is huge. John Pennett used to have a joke.

People say I used to lost a lot of weight in my face. He's like, how big was my head before? Oh, my God. You know, when somebody shows me a head shot or a picture, it's the last thing I'm want to see I don't ever want to see me fucking in a movie I can't sit there like most people invite you to the house and put their reel on and go dog look at me in all these movies you're like listen do me a favor bro turn this off you you're embarrassing yourself in front of me and then you have people who I can't even listen to these podcasts like I don't

want to hear my fucking voice it's really weird ever ever I got to tell you something guys I'm a little fucked up these little eureka vapor pants this is the new and improved I've been talking to you for a long time, man. And that's the thing that in this town, what you have in this town is you have this new growth for medical marijuana. You people think all around the country that it's like a party out of here. It's a party that's also become like the wild wow west. A lot of people unrestricted and a lot of fucking people are just starting up companies putting fucking bad chemicals. I just talked to a medical marijuana owner that said he had a lung infection that was in the hospital for three weeks with something. It's called something, not bronchitis, but the, but the, you know,

something else. Niemonia? I'm smoking like fucking V-pens and all this shit. Jesus. But he also said that the people lied to him, that the brand that he liked, they said that they had no additives in there. And when he went to the hospital, the hospital told them otherwise. They're like,

everybody's coming in on that fucking V-pen. So, you have to be very careful. A couple weeks ago, after I did that flight to New York, I took a pen with me, and somebody in Irvine gave me a bunch of little pens

and he goes smoke these and on the plan I hit them and I noticed that something didn't feel right so I gave them away I told a friend of mine these ain't what you usually get do you want these and he goes I'll fucking take them I'll redo something with them whatever I noticed it and I cut back on it and when your partner called and we started talking I was very happy I asked him a lot of questions

because I didn't know I don't know who to fucking trust I'm not going to trust the people at the medical marijuana store. They're trying to make the sale. So they're going to look at you in the eye and go, oh, no, no, I would give it to my mother. No, you won't. You know, this tastes like whatever. It's like in the fucking eight, in the mid-80s, when the hardest thing to do wasn't to get coke out of Columbia, it was smuggling the ether alcohol into Colombia. It was so hard at the time.

The people who had it in the states were racking up the prices. So these fucking drug dealers said, fuck you, we'll cut this shit with get. gasoline. Let me tell you some. There's a lot of nights I snorted some gasoline coke and turpentine coke. And at three in the morning when you're all coked up and there's a chick naked in front of you, you just snorted. You don't give a fuck if it's gasoline. And what do you ask? Like, is this gasoline? And they'd say, oh, yeah, yeah, the Coke deal is here? I'd ask them. In Spanish, yeah. Is this gasoline in here? What type of wash does this have at you? Not kosher. No. You never ask. You just snorted and shut your fucking mouth. And there was a coke I snorted that smelled like cat. It was cheap, it was fucking effective. So it still works.

Oh my God, it was fucking tremendous. But you had a headache for four fucking days. For four days, you had a headache, you heard voices and shit, you know, your nose hurt. That sounds terrible. Teet got loose. So you got to be careful with that. Same thing with these rapers. And you guys have been doing it for four, five, six years.

I mean, you guys had tremendous machines in the CO2. Now it's to a different level. They got the settivas and this you have taste to it. It's very tasteful. It just has none of the fucking Malukin juices in it That's what they call it natural turpins Well, they have turpies. I have you say like a cousin to the Take these which is a natural Cleaning product But they have the same flavor

He's not on camera because at this point, you know what I'm saying? He just wants to talk and at a minute of me But let me tell you some couple weeks ago on 60 minutes and They were talking about what's going on in Italy now What the mafia's doing now? They're fucking cutting olive oil They're cutting olives They're cutting you know They're cutting high end olive oil People are testing it in the States and it's fucking seed oil

And that's why I think a lot of the businesses that you're talking about Like a lot of the shit A lot of like how you're saying those businesses went away I think they're coming back Because like I don't trust any of these guys You can't trust anyone So that's why and it costs a little bit more And unfortunately a lot of them are hipsters

so that, like, you hate them. But a lot of these smaller companies are fucking great. They're a little bit more expensive. And sometimes the people working there are kind of douchebags, like the vegan people, but they make good stuff. It's like that that's what you need these days. Because when you, like, when you get something shipped, I went to have fucking IKEA to get lights for the studio. And they just didn't work. Like, you go there, you spend all day walking around the thing.

And they just know that all their shit is so inexpensive that some of it's going to get returned. And they just don't give a shit. It's interesting. I think it's coming back. What's coming back? Like personal service, like smaller companies, like small businesses. I think it's like really coming back. What's I got to do with putting turpent time?

No, it's like companies like this. Oh, no. Yeah. These guys have just kept getting better and better and better. You know, how many edible countries have started and gone away? How many edibles have we eaten here, Lee? Thousands. Thousands.

And only the stars are bad. You know, Cheba Choolein. Anti-Dalores, yeah. Ante Dolores. Before then, people were coming and going for years. Way before I met you, the edible business, people were coming. They were strong at first. Then one day you went back and there was nothing in the fucking thing.

Then you went back again and it was fucking horrible. And then a week later you told the guy at the store and they're like, ah, they went out of business. That happened for fucking three years with edibles. It's terrible when you take it and you're expecting it to work and it just doesn't. It's like a huge letdown. For the first three years, when you're... I was going to Kushmart, they always would show up with edibles. Now, the first edible I purchased that was death, that was stuff close to tripping,

where, you know, now and laters? Oh, yeah. I love now and laders. They used to have now and ladders. They had these now and laters that the oil would be at the bottom of the bag, and you would trip. People were saying, what the fuck is in all the things? So I always trusted them for edibles. So I would keep going there.

And I tell you, man, they would get four new ones. edibles a week and it was like three out of four companies were failing because they found out that it was they were buying weed to fucking process it the smart guys were the guys that were grown weed taking the weed beating the weed getting that powder off it then bringing that weed to the store selling it to them or having their own store and clipping all the shit that they're not going to use and that's what they put in the edibles so there's no fucking loss that was that The companies that ended up doing all that stuff, like I guess you could buy a lot of waste from people, right?

You could buy leaves that they don't use and suck the extract out. These people were like buying at high cost. Like they were going into a store and going, give me a pound of weed wholesale. That's still too much. You're putting an eighth of each fucking brownie. You can't charge 55 bucks or 3250. Or if you're putting, if it's, yeah, if it's 32 fucking 50 an eighth,

how are you going to charge $40 for these things? So all these edible companies went out of business. It was hysterical. So you have to applaud the Eureka Vapers, the Cheba Chibu, the Force One Stars. They've been doing it for years and adjusting to the market. You said it in the beginning. It's the Wild West. It's the Wild fucking West.

Years ago, bro, they were weed stores that you went in, and they had whole cakes that Lee. You would die. Whole cakes. Like a birthday cake? Chocolate truffle with fucking whipped cream and coconut chunks hanging out of it. You would salivate while you were buying weed. Salivate. Unbelievable.

Everywhere you went, had a sweet. How much do you have to eat of it? You probably have to eat the whole fucking slice. And you get fucked up. There was a, there was a weed store on Violin close to victory. When I first moved to North Hollywood, there was a weed store on violent. And when you went in there and spent 25 bucks or more, you got a free edible. and the edibles were cakes

lemon meringue chocolate whatever what are you looking around for chocolate whatever you're looking around you make me all creepy there's a fucking ISIS in the room there might be who know but anyways the chocolate cakes you're talking about cake

so the chocolate cake so years ago like one time me Ralphie and John Wesley went to a Boston Red Sox game and John Wesleying it was Boston Red Sox against no it was the Houston Astrosks against the Dodgers because Clemens was pitching and we all went.

And Ralphie had a bag and then that bag were just pieces of chocolate cake that were at those days people didn't know what even the milligrams were in them. People were just making chocolate cakes, chocolate truffles, cheesecake, everything was very sweet in the beginning. But then diabetics got more fucking, we started dying, right? Because they're fucking eating those things and smoking dope and fucking eating cheeseburgers. So they started adjusting to society. They started making sugar-free fucking, hey, the banana bread company,

that we used to get that killer banana bread. Right. Her biggest business was sugar-free banana bread that she sold to a bunch of people who went to yoga and shit like that. Sugar-free banana bread. So on top of that, people were like, wait a second, I'm getting fucked up, but I'm gaining 80 fucking pounds a month here. So the edible became smaller, smaller, smaller, and smaller.

very seldom now in these areas where you see a chocolate cake for sale. The biggest thing you'll see is a fucking brownie, and people don't even want those. Like there's a company, I forget what their name are. They sell big, hunky brownies. Yeah, they have 22,000 milligrams in them, but I don't want to eat that. What about, you were making fun of the joint I brought in,

when they were, I got offered a free edible once, and it was like a 15 milligram edible, probably the size of like four big browns. It was a huge chunk. They're huge. It's 15 milligrams. Yeah. You're like, why I'm going to eat that fucking whole thing?

I don't want, nobody wants to eat that whole thing anymore. No. Nobody wants to eat a whole chocolate cookie that's 9,000 calories to get 100. Like, all right, the so, no, what's the cookies that the people came to the San Diego that we used to eat all the time? The brownies. So kind. So kind. The so kind cookie is a yummy cookie.

Yeah, yeah. And it's 200 milligrams. I'll take the bullet because let me tell you something. I'm Sokind puts about 800 milligrams in that cookie. So if you eat a half of Sokind, you're going to be fucked up. You're going to be fucked up. That's the one thing about Sokine. There's a lot of edibles that tell you that 200 milligrams, they're really fucking 800 milligrams.

I'm telling you right now because I eat them constantly. Yeah, no, a lot of them lie about it. A lot of them. And then, honestly, you said it about how they keep getting smaller. I like a lot of the chocolates and they're fine. The gummies are the perfect edible to me. They have the least taste of marijuana, and they're just, they go down easy, and it's two bites. You still make faces. Yeah, I make faces at everything.

You hold your nose, like you're going to fucking gag. Like, when I was six, I used to drink milk. The nuns would hit me if I didn't drink milk, so I had to drink milk with my nose fucking sealed. You know how annoying that? I hated fucking doing that. The other day, I thought about drinking milk. I was with Lee, and we stopped at Yum Yum Donuts. Oh, yeah.

And I almost got a cart in the milk, and I remembered what it used to do to me. Jesus Christ. Like there was some days that I would drink it And I could drink it and just get a certain taste of it And I could drink it really fast But there was some days And I would drag Are you gagging thinking about it?

There was some days I would drink it And the milk would fly out of my fucking mouth Like I don't like to taste the fucking plain milk And there's nothing better than that Would you ever do like the gallon challenge Do we have to drink a whole gallon of milk? I can't drink.

It wouldn't pass my fucking throat. It will not pass my fucking throat. If I close my nose and do the thing right, like let's say I get a piece of cake, for example, I could probably drink a little bit of the fucking milk. But if not, no. No, that ship sailed a long time ago. Is that why you don't drink your coffee with milk or any of that? No.

No, I don't like coffee with milk. But you like milkshakes? I love milkshakes. So are milk sakes okay? I don't know. I don't know. Like a nice banana shake. Like there's bananas at the house right now that are perfect for a milkshake.

They're like three hours before they start turning that fucking, they get the chicken pot. I don't like bananas when they got those brown spots. I can't do it. I fucking can't stand. I'll gag. That's what bananas make me gag. But if you're a professional, you know that those bananas, so they have brown spots, they're delicious in a milkshake. I just can't tolerate them, especially if I open up the banana,

And it's got like that sore, like somebody kicked it, like a bruise. No. I get disgusted. Okay. But I'll throw it in a milkshake with some ice cream. That banana is nice and sweet. That real fucking brown banana where it gets black like that. I don't even want to smell that shit.

I don't even, my mom was Cuban and she loved her bananas all the way like that, like to that fucking place where they're really sweet. I couldn't even stand next to them on the table. Like if I'd see them at the table, I'd have to walk into the other. I don't like brown bananas. Can you do plantains? Well, see, with those big bananas, that's what they become. You chop those motherfuckers, Puerto Rican.

Nobody makes a better plantain than Puerto Ricans. You got a Puerto Rican with two fucking bananas, a bag. If you don't see a Puerto Rican about to make plantains, he ain't got a bag, a brown bag. Yeah. He ain't real. Because the brown bag is what you wrap those motherfuckers and hit them with the hammer, and then you take the grease out of them.

And that's where the grease goes into that fucking bag. So because Cubans, they do it, like you little pieces. What are Puerto Ricans? Do they give you like a match? No, Tautones. They're all the same. They're all the same. But some people make them big, like some people make them real thin.

Okay. And they're crispy. I don't go for those. I want them to have a little meat. Not a lot of meat. The one on Chandler next to that Chinese place had some good ones, the meaty ones. That Cuban place on Chandler next to the Chinese place we go to. You go to that Cuban place?

I went there once, yeah, just to get the Arroscaumpoil. I wanted something. It was pretty good. But I don't know. I haven't had like. Was it fresh? I thought so. It took them like 15 minutes to make it, 15, 20 minutes.

Oh, right. I'm with you. I'm with you, dog. What's going on with your world? What do you got this weekend? This weekend? Oh, it's Paula's birthday. So I planned something for.

So what are you going to do? I want to hear this fucking... No, it's a... San Diego. No, no, no. It's like a fucking momo and you're down there jumping around. No, we're going to dinner in downtown on Friday, and then please no one tell her.

Fucking, uh, on Saturday. She really likes pugs. So there's this pug rescue, and I called, and they said we can come and play. I'm going to go to surprise her with that. And we're going to go get breakfast and play she likes around here. What place is now? I'm scared to even is. It's just a breakfast place near me.

It used to be like a New York bagel cafe, but they actually ruined it, so I might try to find a new place. It was, we had the best place. It was like a little breakfast, like a little, kind of, a couple small tables. They made great, like, eggs and bagels. And just, like, it was amazing. And then this woman just bought it and started painting it white and making it look like it was a farm. So when is her birthday? Huh?

What is her birthday? Friday. And what time you're picking it up? After, I don't know. You got the flowers or anything? I got her some gifts, yeah. You got some suits? What are you wearing?

No, and it's not a place to wear suit. What are you taking a Friday then? It's a place called Perch. Then what do they got that? They got the steak that we like? It's a steak in French fries. it's so good. It's fucking amazing. And then what are you doing after Perch?

Going home? That's it. Yeah, probably. Give her the Jewish birthday cake. You gotta give it. Oh yeah, she wants cold stone birthday cake, but that's it. Coldstone birthday cake. They have cold stone birthday cake? Yeah, she says, that's what she says, because you like, you like Carvel, she's like, Joey should try the cold stone one. They use actual pieces of cake in it.

Are you fucking kidding me or what? I'm not kidding you. What about Partillo's that has cake shake? Have you tried that? No, no, no. I go down and get the sandwich and stick to that. A steak shake. I'll definitely give a fat fuck like me a heart attack, especially at this fucking age.

You're going to get your car and put on the air conditioning. There you are in your car and fucking Buenna Park, bleeding from the nose and shit. All right, you got a good weekend plan. I'm going to Charlotte. I'm fucking excited. I'm leaving tonight. I'm getting a fuck out of here nice and high.

I'm going to pass out on the plane. Wake up, relax. We've got one show Thursday, two shows for hours. and two shows on Saturday. A lot of interesting shit's going on, man. A lot of weird stuff happened. I tried to bring the show back that I did with this guy. And, you know, you ever have a, oh, shit.

There he is. If it's not Captain Evil himself. Look at him, scream box. And there you are, I think. What's up, my brother? Not much. How are you? How are you been?

Not much, man. We're digging ourselves out. Actually. Still a lot of snow on the East Coast? Yes. Old Man Winter took an enormous dump on New Jersey just last Saturday, Sunday. And yeah, so it's been pretty messy outside, actually. I kind of wish I was where you are. Yeah, no, it was nice and warm today. You know what's crazy? That how the media takes those snoresome, they take those snowstorms now. And they blow them so much out of proportion. We grew up in those snowstorms.

Tell them where we grew up. It's the second hilliest town in the fucking country. So when it snowed more than three inches and you were from the ages of eight to 16, you know there's some good sledding. We used to go behind a police station on 40 fucking 6th Street. That hill there will kill you. I seen a kid hit a fucking car. I seen some good shit on that motherfucking street growing up.

Yeah. The hills were extremely severe in North Bergen. you could easily lose your life. And the thing about it, too, about the 70s being a kid, was that there was no adult supervision whatsoever. You know, you grabbed your sled, you went out at, you know, 10 a.m. Because it was a school day, you know, there was a snow day, there was no school. You went out at 10 a.m.

And you didn't come back until dark, you know, and you just went and you broke an arm or cracked your head open or whatever. You rub a little snow on it. You kept going. You fucking went downhills, then you took a break, because some guy would pull over and go, help me dig myself out. I'll give you the small 20. They'd be six of years. So that's $3.50 fucking cents apiece. And they'll need help all day.

You'd need help all day. And then in between that, and your feet would be fucking freezing. But unless you were a fag, you wouldn't go home. You wouldn't go home. I don't give a fuck if you had. My feet would be purple by the time I got home at 8 o'clock at night, jumping in puddles in the ice. And you didn't go home. By the time you got home, your feet were these two pieces of ice.

The blood was frozen. Nothing. But these kids down to go. Now, you remember the big hill by Balzano's house. Fuck, yeah. We used the cemetery house up the hill, you know, because people needed to get up the hill where we hawking cemetery was. So people needed to get up the hill, and we would push the cars up the hill and they would throw us five, ten bucks. And we would buy a shitload of beer, stick it in the snow and keep it cold.

And we would hang out all night. Yeah, those, uh, nice. Now they, the year when I was in the eighth grade and you were a freshman in high school, that was one of the snowiest February's on tap. It was the winter of 78. 78, 77, 78. It was the fuck. We had to stay in school until June 29 that year because there was so many fucking school days.

And I remember that being fucking feet of snow and you'd shovel the basketball court and you played basketball because you had no fucking, you had no school. So you'd call all your friends. Listen, get to Kennedy School tomorrow at 10 o'clock. We'd shovel the fucking courts and we'd play ball till fuck it till it became black ice and somebody slipped and broke their fucking neck. Well, we had the woods by my house where we would make the trails for our sleds because we had the flexible flyers back in the day. And I mean, we would be doing 20, 30 miles an hour going down these hills whizzing right past big trees. I mean, you know, we take ourselves out real easy back in the day. But you remember, there was behind Charles Court.

We used to hang out in the woods there. Oh, fuck, yeah. And go sleigh riding like maniacs. A lot of good things happened. I learned how to light fires in those woods. I got good and light fires behind those woods there. I think everybody did. Then you shut the fire down and shit tremendous.

That was an orphanage back there. And you could still see the concrete from the levels. Like you could see the basement at some points. You know, by the time we were growing up, it was all covered with dirt. But somebody just released an article on Facebook about seven months ago. The history of Givenett Terrace. And it had how it was an orphanage and they burnt down and a bunch of children died.

So that's why all the, there was always spooky stories on Giving Ed Terrace, especially after our friends died there. That it was an orphanage. It was a one-way street. Real fucking interesting. If somebody has it on Facebook, But please send it.

Oh, yeah. Actually, I would love to see that. Those homes are all new on Charles Court. Half of those homes were very new. A lot of people don't know that. The other side were old. My side, where I grew up and that side, those houses were all old. They were built in the 60s.

No, they weren't. No, no, no, no, no. You sure? It was all farmland where we lived. I only lived a few blocks from you on 34th Street. and there was a mansion across the street. It was a large home, and then there was a servant's quarters at the end of my block, and my block was actually stables.

So, I mean, we're talking about, you know, pre-World War II. Some of the homes were built in. Easily built in the 30s. Easily built in the early 30s. Yeah, our section of North Bergen was probably the oldest. the oldest part of town and Uptown was developed later. It's got the fucking no leave. We got any questions for Ray Canella.

Ray used to be a big time on a TV network. He told him to suck his dick. They told him to suck his dick. And he went on his own and he created Screenbox. You were there. You were there when it happened. I was there when it happened. And he's doing very well with Screenbox.

But the thing about Ray, every time he's called in and we've talked, He's always opened up my eyes. I went to a meeting right before the new year. And this guy was in the room, real fucking arrogant guy. He wanted to be heard. And he was talking about how the advertising budgets for television networks have been the lowest they've ever been next year. This year right here, 2016, that the budgets were released.

I don't, it's not my world. So I don't read about it. But when somebody talks about it, I look at that person like a god because I should be reading up about this. What is really going on with just plain television? Well, a lot has gone on. And actually, I think 2016 is going to be a really tough year for broadcasting cable when it comes to their business model. The best way, you know, like the best way to explain it, you know, really is, you know, when you. you examine your own habits when you watch television.

Who watches live TV anymore? Technology has allowed the consumer to watch television a la carte. Whatever shows we feel like watching when we feel like watching it. When I started in cable, that wasn't the case. When I started in cable television, you were, at the mercy of the schedule. You watched sliders or the Twilight Zone or Quantum Leap. You know, you watched these shows when we scheduled them. And the best you could do was to record them on VHS for later. But as technology advanced and people had more control, TiVo played a big part in it, people got acclimated to a different way of using television.

And so people use television today very differently than they did when you and I were kids. When you and I were kids, you know, Charlie Brown's Christmas was on once a year. You had to sit through the commercials and if you missed it, you were screwed till next year. You know, and in today's world, that's not the case at all. You could pop in a DVD and watch Charlie Brown's Christmas or, you know, stream it online anytime you want. So technology has changed the way that people are using television. There was no such thing as binge watching just, I would say, 10, 12 years ago. There was no such thing as this where you would sit down and watch an entire series episode after episode after episode.

I did it with the VHS. I remember sitting there watching something on VHS and watch. Oh, years, I got like Bill Go on VHS, and I would sit there and watch, you know, know, episode after episode. I'm a stoner though. You know, not for most Americans won't sit there. This is 20 years ago. I've totally a thousand times. There's no better thing. Yeah, I got in trouble for doing that. Sitting there watching fucking 20 episodes of television, you know, I mean, people've been doing it forever if you had the collections. Yeah, there were some, there were those of us that like to absorb, you know,

uh, uh, entertainment that way. But when you, when you work for a channel and cable and it's, it's, you know, and you're a programmer in cable, you know, it's your job to understand how the audience is watching you and how the audience is watching your channel. And then you adjust accordingly to the audience. And, you know, it's a big, I, I'm one of those that believe that the tail doesn't wag the dog. People want to know why there are so many housewife shows on TV, why there's so much reality shows on TV. And the reason is simply because you watched it. If you stop watching it, it goes away. If you and I go to a rock concert and we don't like the band, well, we don't go back. And it's no different in television.

When people stop watching a show, it goes away. But what's happening right now in the 21st century is so technology has changed the way that people are using television. And then price point has come into play. the cable systems can only charge what the market can bear and cable bills are extremely expensive now and we have a generation of millennials growing up who can't afford 150 200 bucks a month for cable and instead they're choosing alternatives and so that's what we're seeing right now this is all part of what's called the digital disruption so we're seeing the The younger generation cancel cable.

It's called unplugging. And they're subscribing to services like Netflix, services like mine, like Screenbox. People are choosing entertainment a la carte, as opposed to the way that they're getting their entertainment. Now, how many channels you get at home, Coco? How many channels you get at home, Lee? 9,000.

I don't get any anymore. where I got rid of cable more than a year ago for that reason. And it's interesting you're talking about this. I read this article. It's from July of last year, but they were talking about the problem is ESPN's going to have because that's really the only reason I had cable for a while. Yeah.

They were talking about how it was like the 20th most desired station. I remember reading this, so I just looked it up. It's a 20th most desired station, but because of what ESPN charges the cable companies, you're paying like $7 a month for ESPN. So there's a lot, there's a, there's a 20% of the, there's a huge chunk of people paying for who don't want it. So that's why they're cutting hosts and their ad revenue went down because they're paying billions of billions of dollars to air like Monday night football and stuff. Like they're huge expenditures.

Dude, you're dead on. And actually, ESPN is probably the best example right now to talk about how television has changed. because we all watch sports of one, you know, one form or another. I love football. I know there's a lot of basketball fans out there. We all watch sports, and you have to watch sports live. So ESPN is the number one rated cable network when it comes to live viewership. And live viewership is where all the money is at when it comes to advertising.

Now, ESPN, there's a couple of things. about ESPN that makes them interesting. Number one is they don't own a lot of content. And I'll try to explain a channel like USA Network or a channel like TBS. They have original comedies. They have original dramas. They have reality shows, channels like Bravo. And they own that content. Well, ESPN licenses the right to broadcast sports. So they don't own that content. That's money going out the door for them to pay for the rights to broadcast those gains. So when you look at ESPN compared to a USA network, ESPN doesn't own content.

It is constantly shelling out for this content. And trust me, the stuff ain't cheap. Okay. So ESPN has that going on as a business model. The other thing they have going on is unplugging. They've lost 7 million households. ESPN. 7 million subscribers in the last two years.

ESPN. Since 2013. You're talking about ESPN. Right. Yeah. 7 million. 7 million subscribers. I can live without ESPN.

To least point, cable channels have two ways to make money. There are two revenue streams. Okay. One is advertising, the commercials. They make their money through advertising. But the second revenue stream is what they charge the cable system per subscriber to carry them. And Lee was on the money 100%. ESPN gets $6.60 per subscriber from the Comcasts and the time warnings of the world.

And because they're owned by Disney too. So that Disney packages other shitty channels that no one wants and makes them if they want the most popular on ESPN. And they're the parent, same company. ESPN is owned by Disney. And you think Star Wars makes a lot of money for Disney? ESPN

makes a shitload of money for Disney. So, here's ESPN's problem. They're losing households. Okay. So the money that they're, that revenue stream is being disrupted. It is, it's shrinking year after year since

2013. And because households are shrinking, the ad revenue shrinks because there are fewer eyeballs watching the channel. So it's a pendulum that's not going to swing back the other way. This is just a sign of the times. And 2016 is going to be a difficult year because a lot of people are going to, more and more people are on plugging

and using OTT services. and we're going to talk and we'll talk about that in a second. And because they're unplugging, the advertisers are saying, hey, there were fewer people, there were fewer eyeballs this year than there was last year. Why should I pay the same if not more? Let me ask you this. So let's say I'm broke and I have a computer and I have whatever.

Is there a way for me to watch TV for free? Absolutely. I do it all the time There's a ton of services That you can just There's apps now Like when I went to Israel When I was a freshman in college

There were sites that you could go And like they would buffer all the time And and you could find like little episodes Now they have this app That you can put on a little computer stick Like a little Amazon fire that's 30 bucks And you have literally access to Everything

You have access to channels I showed Paula they have access to Mexican cable channels for free. For free. Yep. But that was in Israel. No, no, no, no, no, that's here.

That's here right now. Now, what about here? I have no dough. How much does this app cost me? Zero. And you just go and download it on Apple? Yeah, you could even, as long as you have a laptop,

I have the laptop that has an H-D-M-I cord plug-in, and I was running it off that for a while, but then now have an Amazon fire. Can I watch Modern Family? Yep. Can I? Come on. You can watch anything.

You can watch... While it's playing or a week later. They do have... Some of them have live streams of it. Sometimes those go down. But literally within... Like, we watch Shark Tank. We really like Shark Tank.

Within an hour of it being aired, it's up. Perfect HD. The same episode that was on that night. Same exact episode. So why are people still paying? You know, guys, you know, the broadcast networks are still available over the air. Yeah. You know, all it takes is 60, 70 bucks at Radio Shack for an antenna.

Not even. I bought two of them on Amazon for 30 bucks. I watch. That's I watch football. Yeah, exactly. So, yes, there are absolutely alternatives. This generation growing up, the millennials, you know, they're going to be like our grandparents were. This is going to be a saving generation because the marketplace has priced them out of just so many different areas.

And that's why we're seeing the rise of services like. like Netflix, like Screenbox. Those services are referred to as OTTs. So what is... Not to interrupt you, Raymond. What do you spend total a month for entertainment? How much do you spend total a month for entertainment in your home? Lee, I want you to add your bill also.

Let Raymond go first. And I'll ask you also. Well, you know, I'm because of my profession and such, I've got a lot of things running. I have several accounts and things like that. But I would say I'm in I'm in the one you know, the 140 to 180 range a month, 14, 180. And you still have cable in your home? I'm sorry?

You still have cable in your home. Yes. Okay. But not in every room, not in every room where there's a TV. My kids don't have cable whatsoever. Both my girls live here. still and no, there's no cable whatsoever.

They both use gaming platforms. And it's all Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, screen box. How about you, Dr. Chavago?

So right now, I'm going to include Internet because that's pretty much what I... What's it cost you? 86. Because I do that, and then I have Netflix for $7.99, and then I have Amazon Prime

for a year. It comes out to $8 a month. So altogether, what do you spend a month? 86. And what were you spending? I was spending 236. A month. Because,

Holy shit. Fucking, if you want anything on DirecTV, it was close to 150, 1-150. So what's DirecTV? What do you mean? That's sports? That's dirty movies? No, I didn't fucking do any of that. Dude, I just want fucking, I want ESPN news, which is, of course, doesn't come with ESPN,

and you get, like, I don't know, I wanted NFL network to get the NFL games. I don't know what. I don't remember. I haven't had it for over a year, but it's great. I don't miss it at all. And the crazy thing is I'm just turning because I'm looking at you, Ray. But my mom, you said millennials, my mom is good at technology, but she doesn't really like, she doesn't like it if it's not necessary. She doesn't watch anything live anymore. I gave her my Netflix password, and she's happy. Like, I see what she watches it all the time. People love it now. I love it. Listen. The only thing I would watch is 202.

I mean, the local news in California is basically fucking garbage. I sit there and watch some save sharks, 505, late breaking news. You know, you interrupt 505. I want to see a war. I want to see a guy get hit by a fucking car. Not a whale get caught off Marina del Rey, and they got nets all around them. And it's a, no, no, no, no. So I've been watching 202.

Yeah. I love World News tonight. I love Diane. Sawyer and I like the new guy. He ain't that bad. But they tell me what I want to hear in the first 10 minutes. And then I turn the TV back to Mercy and we switch it back to Go Diego Go. Okay. So she likes all those little channels at the end. How much do I watch HBO? I have no fucking idea how much I watch HBO. But here's the thing though. Now HBO a couple months ago, you can pay 20 bucks a month

and not have to do cable, because that's where you're paying the cable company to do your HBO service. So just, now it's called HBO Go. It's an app on your Roku. Right, I have it. So yeah, so yeah, they're saying, fuck it. I think my wife called them and threatened them and said she's leaving cable, and they asked

her how come, and she goes, give me a number. And then she took them to the cleaners, so we have a bunch of shit, no showtime. We have nothing, basically, for, I don't know what, what she's But it ain't a lot because she told him she was quitting. The only thing I've actually thought about getting is maybe getting a Tvo again because I do miss being able to DVR things occasionally.

I get home lately and I put on YouTube and all the movies I need are on YouTube now. I caught two movies on YouTube last week. Didn't have to pay Dick for him. Really? And that's hard to find on YouTube. Movies are like the hardest ones. Yeah, no. YouTube Something.

It's called YouTube Something. It's my wife. YouTube Red, that would be. Some movies. couple old movies that I wanted to watch. They were also HBO movies. They were HBO movies. I watched the one with Richard Gere,

and I watched the one Gotti with Armand Descent to play Gotti and shit like that. So what's going on with Screenbox, Raymond? People love to scream at night, Coxucker. Yes, they do. It's, although it's kind of hard to, well, never mind. I won't go there. Look at it.

Last year was a really, really great year for Screenbox and and you know just just to keep going on on the point that you and Lee are making what you guys are doing is you're using services that are called OTTs okay so next time next time you want to you want to impress your friends and make it look like you know what you're talking about tell them that you're you're into OTTs now and what that means is over the top and so if you're using a service like YouTube or Netflix or Screenbox like us, you don't need cable. You simply need a Wi-Fi signal. Okay, so OTT means over the top. And this is the new platform that's emerged. This is your Amazon, Prime, your Hulu. Again, these are services that don't

require a cable connection. They simply require a Wi-Fi signal. Now, Screenbox has been, we've been around now for a good year and a half. And last year, 2015, Last year was a terrific year for us because we really expanded our reach and we expanded our distribution. We are now available on Xbox One. We're available on Xbox 360. We're also available on PS3 and we're available on PS4. So if you just boot up your gaming system and you head on over to the App Store, you can download the Screenbox app and the first 30 days are free. And you can sample the channel. And we are a horror-specific channel, just horror movies.

And given, you know, the way horror films, you know, we're the bastard stepchild of the film industry, this sort of service works perfectly for horror films because we present horror movies the way that they're supposed to be seen. No frigging commercials, you know, all the bad. When I worked in cable and we would air a horror movie, it would just break my heart in a million pieces because, first of all, we would have to cut it if it was too long. Then we would have to cut out all of the bad language. Then you'd have to cut out whatever nudity there was.

And then finally you had to cut out a fair amount of the violence. And you're removing the elements that make it a horror film. Here in the OTT world, when you're paying a subscription fee, a direct fee, the shackles are off. And you could just, you could pick whatever film you want. The movies are uncut, unedited, and you can enjoy these horror films the way that they were meant to be enjoyed. So it was a terrific year for us. Our distribution skyrocketed from there being on the gaming system. So now we're available on Roku.

We're available on those gaming platforms. We're on Amazon Fire. We have a homepage, screenbox.com. You could just sign up through the homepage. So, you know, look, you know this from being a traveling comic. More distribution means more opportunity. And if you look at what's happening in broadcasting cable, their distribution is shrinking. You know, and in the OT world, our distribution is growing.

What's like leasing a car? Why am I going to pay for the whole network where all I watch is one fucking show on your network? Why am I paying for Showtime when all I watch is sometimes at 1215, I whack one off? Late night, they show you a little glimpse of the asshole. You bang one out. And, you know, what else is on fucking Showtime? Nothing. Who the fuck knows?

HBO, if I watch the show with the Rock and the other kid, I don't mind. Ballers? Yeah, and every once I just watch the Whitney Cummings special. I watch HBO. They had the Sinatra documentary. You know, but you got to buy all four channels now. Because that's how you get the best selection. You get the Sinatra thing.

You get two things at once. but it also fucks my world up when I got to see tombstone when you're playing tombstone 18 fucking times a day and I'm paying a buck and a half for that a month I don't want to fucking see tombstone if I want to see tombstone I got the DVD

I fucking put the DVD to tombstone I want to see something I haven't fucking seen any fucking thousand times that's what pisses me to fuck off sorry about that people well no but that's exactly the point and that's the difference between pay cable and an OTT service pay cable you're at the mercy of the programmers you know you're going to watch titanic

day in day out you know month after month after month you're going to see that ship go down but the wonderful thing about services like you know like screen boxes we have we have movies we have series we have documentaries you can sit down and you can take in all 20 episodes of the hunger you can sit down and watch all 26 episodes of Elvira. It's all at your leisure. And, you know, you get to take it with you wherever you go on your phone now. When I travel and I go to the airport, dude, you're on the road all the time. When you travel, what's everybody in the airport doing? Looking at that fucking phone. They're all looking at their thing. Me? I'm watching anybody who's walking funny. You know me? I'm watching the exit door. I don't watch the fucking phone.

I save the phone for, not even on the plane, do I relax anymore? It's amazing. I get no relaxation. You should have been a Sicilian. Raymond, I look at you. And I understand. You want to sit with your back to the corner so you can see the- Oh, fuck, yeah. Raymond, I look at you.

I understand me. I'm a little different. I like, I'm sitting in the airport looking at my device. When you get stabbed in the head with a fucking arrow, don't come fucking 911 in me, cock-sucker. Because I told you, you're from Jersey. You're always watching the door, you fuck. I don't give a fuck what shows on or who's jumping up and down.

Put that fucking thing down. Yeah. Especially. Public places like that, but the weird thing is Raymond, we're talking here, and I'm looking at you, and I'm thinking that I really know you 40 years. Like, we're fucking old. I really, really, really know you 40 years. When people throw that expression around, oh, I know him 22 fucking years. You know him three years, you fuck.

But the drugs made it seem like, I really know Raymond 40 fucking years. How scary is that? We would go to his basement and play in a band. and I was the lead singer and we had a fire John Bender. It's just amazing to know that I still have this guy lurking in my life. It is funny. It is funny because I, and you and I have changed so little. Yes, we have.

So how old were you when you knew him when you first met him? 12, 11, you know. Yeah, grandma school. So 10, 11. If you had thought when you were 12, that we'd be talking. Are you fucking getting me? And then you'd be running it on the TV station on the internet. Not even close.

Not even fucking close. I thought Raymond was going to be an actor. I don't know. I always thought Raymond was going to be in the theater. He always did a mean Colombo. So I always thought he was going to be in the theaters or he was going to be in the actor or something on TV. And look, I was right. He ended up programming television.

But I still remember when we were kids, we loved. comic books. We had, and I still have my comic collection, and I know you had an awesome comic book collection. I don't know what the fuck happened to it. I used to, remember we used to go up to Brian, whatever his name was? The guy on 43rd Street, and we

would ask him for a cop. I robbed that dude a couple times. I take his little fucking well, well, thank Christ, the statute of limitations have run out. What was his name? He lived with his mother, and he had the front porch. The front porch, he turned into a store. I'm not kidding.

Guys, this is comic books. Jesus. So he had a, he turned his front porch and half of his living room into a store, okay? He had a massive collection and he just kind of turned it into a store. It was amazing. And if you wanted, like, he had like Superman something. So if you wanted Superman something, he would have to walk to the back and ask his mom. And he would come out with a rapper around and say, watch, watch, don't touch it.

He would do all creepy things with it. He was a great guy. You know, I was just a little klepto back then. He'd turn his back. I clipped him for a couple silver surfers and shit like that. Then I'd sell him back to him. That was the best. You could trade him and sell him a little man.

Oh, my God. He was such a sweetheart. He lived. You know, we were always into things that were wildly imaginative, you know, and music as well, and comedy. Because we got caught. My mother caught you and I listening to, Richard Pry records in my basement. Yeah.

And my mother flipped out of it. What the hell are you listening to? And music and such. And we haven't really traveled. I mean, we haven't really, you know, some kids dream of going to the moon or some kids dream of curing cancer. I, you know, I liked zombie movies. And, you know, you kept us in stitches. You were hysterically, hysterically funny. So I think our trajectories aren't all that surprising, really. Where can these people find you? How can they subscribe to Screenbox? Well, like I said, you know, we're on all of those various platforms, the Xbox, both Xbox 1 and Xbox 360, PS3 and PS4. Go to Screenbox.com if you want to sign up. It's a great service. We've got, you know, we've got not just the theatrical horror films that everybody is familiar with.

But, you know, I like to go for a. a level of depravity not found in too many places. So, you know, the really interesting stuff is the independent work, the foreign films. So we really tried to present a very broad spectrum of horror movies and documentaries and series. And it's a lot of fun. It's $3.99 a month. The first 30 days are free. You can sign up on any of these platforms. And you can also find us on Facebook at at screenbox on Facebook and we're on Twitter as well at screenbox TV on Twitter and and I'll tell you what I'll tell you what if if anybody out there that's been listening if you want to if you go to screen box on Facebook and leave a comment about this topic that we've been talking

about I want you know I would love to hear from some of the parishioners of the church here that, you know, do you own cable? Are you considering unplugging? I'd love to hear your comments on the topic and maybe we'll give away some t-shirts. Maybe the first five folks or, you know, five selected comments can get a killer screenbox t-shirt over at Screenbox on Facebook. So, so head over there because I want to, you know, this, this is very fascinating, this shift that we're seeing. We haven't seen anything in communications like this since the newspaper replaced the town

Cryer. This is the natural progression of communications. So I'd love to hear from the public. I love you, cocksucker. I'll see you next time I'm in Jersey. Yes, and why don't you wait, and I love you too.

But you know what? Why don't you wait till the spring and then come by? You got it. Because there's a last snow hand. I think I'm going to go back for David Gilmore. I'll let you know. I'll keep you posted.

It's in April and a Master Square Garden on a Monday night. I don't know exactly a date. You're going to see David Gilmore? I'm thinking about it, so I'll keep you posted. It's a great show. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with Joey bananas? They're here and they're there. How about all the rock stars passing away lately?

Hey, you know, that's the evolution. They're 60, their 70s. You can't live forever. Drugs, you know, what are you going to do? All the guys from the British invasion are in their 70s. And the rockers, they inspired, you know, the next wave, the lead zeppelins and such. You know, they're not that far behind. So unfortunately, I think we're going to see a bit of an unstoppable trend.

What are you going to do? What do they say? Ten out of ten people die, you know? Yeah, yeah. You're making me real fucking optimistic right now about taking this flight tonight and shit with my luck and stuff. I love you, Ray Connella. Thank you for coming on, man. On short notice, you're my brother, man.

I'm happy you're still around and you're still doing your thing. Thank you for having me. Absolutely, man. Lee was great hearing from you, Lee. Nice to talk to you, buddy. Thanks again for having me. And guys, like I said, stop on over to screenbox.com and give us a spin. Give us a try.

I think you're really going to enjoy it. Thank you, brother. I love you. All right, peace, my brother. See you next time. Take care. Bye-bye. Talksucker. I love this guy.

What's up, Lee, Syedico. Now, Lee, let me ask you a question. What's up? Because I know you know about a lot of creepy things. What's going on with the porno industry? Like, has the porno industry took a hit? Where do you go to watch pornography? Well, I am, I guess, a dirtbag.

Do people pay for porn? Fuck, yeah. But I think it's sort of like what raised. doing where it's a fetish or a genre, like very specific, people will pay for shit like that. Like, if they like stuff that's outside the norm, maybe, they'll pay for that.

And then that's where, like, the cam stuff comes in, like that stuff that right band does. Like that, people, like, girls make living is doing that now. Now, what's the cam exactly? So the cam has replaced porno. It's like a podcast for porno with a camera. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess what's a TV. And then how do you send the money through PayPal or something like that? You can do PayPal, but like these sites have, you buy tokens and then give them the tokens, and then the girls have to cash out through the site. And then they dance or they fingerbang themselves. Yeah. And it's all live and color.

Yeah, live in color. Fucking tremendous. And you can do it on your phone. Yeah, I'm sure. On your fucking phone. Where's this country coming to? Right there on the bus. It's creepy.

So, like, they shoot a lot of porn here still in California. I mean, they do, but they passed the law where I think you have to wear condoms now. So I think a lot of them have left because people don't like seeing condoms. I don't want to see. Oh, that's disgusting. That really is disgusting. You don't want to see a condom? No, no, no, no.

So last week in the fucking show, man, when Sarah was on, we came a conversation about, whatever, about people taking jokes. I don't know what the fuck was going on. Right. And this morning, that's the first thing I wake up to, man. She's got like 19. There's a crazier new video I just got, if you want me to play it. It's like spot on. No.

It's kind of crazy. I saved it on purpose. All right. Put it, oh, my God. Poor fucking people. Listen, man, I met her twice once. I didn't make a judgment. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

What is this? It's like a bad dream. It's like a fucking bad dream. Does it hurt your feelings when people do it? Like, did it make you upset? I just, it gets me upset when I vouch for somebody from, I think that maybe, you know, these people would at least,

but this, this is just fucking craziness. This is non-stop. Every time I fucking, uh, turn your head, there's a new thing. there who sent you this one? I found this

today. Yeah, I'm being accused of stealing jokes and I wanted to come and talk to you about it and clear my name because I would never, ever do that and I never have. How's this?

Oh, that's perfect. They can ring you up right over there. Thanks so much. Okay, I'm Bengi. If you need any other You please let me know, right? Okay. There you go.

Thank you. Hi, how you doing? Great. All right. Did somebody help you with this? Yeah, she's right over... Oh, she's not there. Hi. How are you?

Did someone help you today? Yeah, um... Who was it? You know, I don't see him. Oh, that's okay. What did she look like? She's... Dark hair. Um...

She was wearing a blazer. Oh yeah. All right. all the girls are wearing blazers. Do you know what he looks like? Yeah, he is wearing like a vest, like a plaid shirt. I don't know what everyone who works here wore today. Um, he had short hair. Oh, that'll probably do it.

Just that. He's black eyes. Black eyes? He has black eyes? Yeah, he had black eyes. If she had a favorite president, it would probably be. probably be Lincoln. That's just confusing.

Are there any other distinguishing features? I would guess you probably voted for Obama. I know I did. All right. Tell yourself. What do you think? I mean, and it goes on to show other examples of it, but... I saw this. This is all with Marin on it.

Jumping up and down. Yeah, check it out. Maron's on here, too. Sad. I feel bad because listen, man, when somebody comes to you and says Diaz stole a joke from me I want you to give me the benefit of the doubt

I want you to leave me the big discussion on the phone in fact I called Andrew I talked to Andrew for a while and we didn't get to the joke and Lee and I had a discussion how I do two jokes that are

joke was it one joke or two jokes it was one joke that was no yeah it was the main a realm of my no no I don't do that joke I just said that he said that he said that, you know, you could, you would stay in and fuck everything.

Right, yeah. My mother has a mink that hasn't moved in years. And I had a couple nights I caught myself saying, you know, you stay in and fuck everything, then the blood in the pillow. And even though it's not even the same realm, even a guy like me knew not to go there. I just won't go there. I just, it's not worth it to me. Write another joke.

But look at Patrice O'Neill. I saw like fucking. Oh, yeah, that war with that one is bad. No, I know. This is the wolf man. This one is really bad. You want to play it? It's short.

No, no, I saw it. I saw it too. It's just, listen, man, I sat here like a man and tried to stick up for her last week and try to say that maybe a writer. Somebody's going to have to answer for this. Somebody. I wonder if I did Matt TV, and they venture out into a lot of other type of shows. Maybe somebody from Mad TV was one of the writers, and now he's a show on Inside Amy. But, or is that an anime?

inside Amy but yeah there's some stuff that's being accused of a stand-up at correct also of yeah for yeah that me right this is just not good man and I sat here I don't even know what the fuck to say because I sat here and was like sometimes shit like this happens maybe if it happens two times not fucking 82 times so something's not right here does it look at times do you like this could be a setup for what I don't know like even that mad TV sketch looked like it was just too easy to steal that. It was just too fucking easy.

I don't believe this. Now at the internet, everything's easy to steal. You can go back and, I mean, who knows if she did it or who did it, it'll be very sad if, I just hope, like, if she didn't do it, she'll take responsibility. I hope a writer just doesn't have to take the fall for her. That would suck. Well, the same writer would have to take the fall for the TV show

and the three or four jokes that she said she said, she's putting her movies and her, because this is not just a stand-up anymore. This is her stand-up. This is her sketch show. And this is also... Her movies. Stand-up, sketch, and a movie.

I mean, what the fuck? What the fuck? I mean, and half of it looks like a setup. Like, half of it to me is like, wait a second. Maybe somebody went out and told her to do this. It looks like a fucking setup. The other half of me is that the American get taken. I mean, well, here's what I saw.

She had a really good first special. I really liked it. And the thing that really bums me out about specials is when comedians do the same things on successive specials. And on her second one, it was a lot of the same stuff. So maybe she was too busy and she just started doing stuff. Like, it really bummed me out. I was really excited for her second special. And she did a lot of the same material.

Well, we discussed the second special. Look what happened in our situation. We went, we taped the CD in fucking August. The CD in my world, I thought, was, you know, the hard work I had put in, you know. It was also a shortest set, you know. Joel, who's a great technician, taped it the way stand-up is supposed to be taped, which we- Yeah, it sounds great. And he also cleaned it up and made different things loud, and he distincted different things. and punchlines, which he really knows how to sell an album.

The album we just released in November is a good album, but it's a good, it's smoking mirrors. Like, he made it seem because he knows how to sell. He's a professional mixer. He's a professional mixer. So when we shot the special in September, I looked at that. And the first time I looked at it here, when I saw the purple sweater, I didn't like it already. Like, there was just so many little things.

And yes, Lee, we could have sold it for $5 and made money and people got to do that. You know what, man? I'd rather not put it out there than it didn't have any stolen jokes. Had no stolen jokes at all. No, of course not. But I had certain jokes that I wouldn't want to say anymore. For the reason you said, there were old jokes. I said, I said it made years ago, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

I wanted the special and the CD to be completely different. This is why I did it that way. I didn't want some people sell you a CD in a special and it's the same performance You know I wanted to give you something different right well there's there's a difference between The same performance and I've seen that like the DVD CD combo that's cool But I'm talking about like if like it's either you were the priest and what you taped in August Or the same material like that's what bums me out But I see what I see what I see what you're saying that you want to provide a lot of material for the people

I'm going to tell you something. There's a joke I said that it's either you or the priest that I love, okay? That when I said the joke, it was too early for me to say. Let me tell you guys how fucking crazy my world is. I like the joke. And for some reason, against every fucking belief I had, I said the joke. And the joke worked to the tea. But when I listened to that album, that joke, I didn't develop it right. That joke still had six more. months before I could really drop it on a motherfucker. I just shot it out of the cannon too heavy. I've been working that joke on the road lately, but I will never put it on another CD. I'm just trying to work it to get me somewhere

where I want to go. And on the road is completely different. And you know what on this on an album, if you do it, but you add something to it, yeah, she had, and I can't remember right, I haven't seen it for a while, but she had successive bits. And actually, the one who kills me even more than her,

John Panette. I loved his first special or whatever I say, N'N-N-A was. And then for like two more specials, he was doing the same material. And it broke my heart. So why does that bother a guy like you, the same material? Fucking they do it in the music industry, right? That chick did it. Sarah McLaughlin did.

She put the same songs on a couple of the albums or something like that. Why does it bother you so much in comedy? I mean, I would never do it. Listen, if it was up to me, I would never release Dick. I would just have somebody with a tape recorder, tape and say, Joey, I taped your set, and I was great. Do whatever the fuck you want with it. But the only avenue I have and the only way to gauge numbers

for me to get other projects like a Netflix project or something like that is to show them the CD, the releases on the internet, which you guys, as my family, have supported me to the end of no time. Well, the reason the answer to your question is, is because when I was first getting into comedy, there wasn't Netflix specials. I went out and bought every special, and I was excited. Like, that's what it was. I was excited the way you were for final. I was excited for specials.

I would go out and get them. I'm not going to tell you I was there the day they were released, but when I found somebody or heard of somebody, I would get them. And if I like somebody, I would look forward to their new, oh, and if I, like, was seeing their thing, I'd be like, oh, specials out. Like you were asking me before what my entertainment budget was. My music budget every year, zero. I spent

I don't buy a single song. I don't give a shit. Back then I was buying two, three DVDs a week. I have 600 DVDs at home. Right here in the apartment now? Yep. And I got another hundred to give you. Yeah, I have

to have zero value to I've stopped by. Well, yeah, I've stopped buying them. suck my dick, revamp copies, added scenes. Those things are worth $1.50 all day long. I've had any fucking yard sale. You're fucked. And I know what I fucked up. I got so many of them.

I was tired of moving them. So I bought like a DJ disc book and threw away the bonses. Oh, yeah, you're a no doubt. So now I'm going to have to lug this thing around with me for the rest of my life. Like a fucking chumoke. But it's, yeah, I don't have, but I haven't bought stuff in years. So that's what used to piss me. Like, I have tons of specials.

on DVD in my collection. And like, that's why it would piss me off. So maybe, I don't know, if you, imagine you're busy enough as it is. If you had a TV show, could you see a place where your stress too thin?

Let me talk to you. Where you're at as a 28-year-old. Where you're at as a 35-year-old, where you're at as a 44-year-old, and where you're at as a 52-year-old, there's four different places in your life. Okay. It's four different levels of excitement.

You know, it's like a woman. When she's 24, she has a dream. She has a dream to meet this prince who is rich, and she's going to have nine kids and a butler, and she's going to have a range roll, and she can go to yoga with her fucking Gentile friends. Then, you know what? She gets fucked a couple times.

She gets engaged, and the guy cheats on her. You know, by the time she's fucking 33, she's going to be a different woman. Then you know what's going to happen late? She's going to move him with a guy. Something she never dreamt of doing when she was 25 years old. She always wanted to be married when she dreamt him with a man.

What a person will do with 32 and 28 is two different things. So when I come to you, you know how hard this job is? You know how hard? What do you think? This doesn't happen in the construction business? You don't think that one day, two jimots like you and I get together.

and you're good with painting and I'm good with electrical and whatever. And also my friend here, he knows his father owns a fucking concrete company. So after about two years of us doing little work together, we crack in jokes. One day, us three fucking morons decide to put a bid in another fucking building.

Okay? And unbe no way's to us. We miss 30% of this fucking bid. And all of a sudden we get awarded this bid and we missed 30%. That means we're all working for broke. In the 60% level of this building, we're all going to be miserable.

The work's going to be shoddy. It's going to be shit. You know what happened? We took on something we couldn't handle. We didn't cut a partner in. It's the law diminishing returns. Okay? We were making money.

We were doing our little thing. Years ago, I had a friend who had an answering machine. I swear to God, he had an answering machine in his living room. And he would get up at 3.30 in the morning. We would press the answer machine. They would go, yo, Bruno.

Give me three pounds of shrimp and 10 pounds of calamari. Yo, it's Iggy over here at the Troutaria. And this guy got in his car, went to the farm, with that market in the village, whatever the fuck it was, the seaport fish market, whatever the fuck, the mafia place. And he'd buy all this shit at wholesale. And with a truck, he would drop it off. And by 12 o'clock, he was home.

You know what he was making a month in 1997? I don't think I want to know. 25,000 a month, guys. He was home by 12 o'clock every fucking day. 25,000 a month. A record. But guess what he did? He went partners with somebody in.

He bought a bunch of fish. He put it in a freezer. And New York had the blackout for nine days. he lost all his investment, $200,000. He was doing great, wasn't he? With the fucking $25,000 a month, $30,000 a month delivering fish, pick it up and deliver it.

Chucking a few clams, taking a bag of clams and putting them into 12 lots and 144 lots, whatever they call it. I love you, Joey. I think I'd go do that right now. Someone called me and said you make $25,000 a month, delivering fish? I think you'd do it right now.

But it was his own business. You understand me? So it's amazing. It's your own. fucking business. It's your own his specialty was Kalimar and he had these restaurants that would buy 50 pounds of it a day.

That was his biggest money maker. That squid already cut. He knew where to get he had the connection. He's the one that told me about sushi places, only buying from Japanese fucking things. The point I'm trying to make here is that you could make dough.

We're talking about here anyway. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about. I'm so high here. You can make dough. the guy delivering fish. No, we're talking about the guy fucking delivering fish. But what was the point, Lee? That's some time that fucking... He went too high.

He did too much. Well, it was the law diminishing returns. Same thing with Amy Schumer. Maybe, you know, man, you live in some of these basement, you sleep with weird people, you hang out with weird people. You do that for a while,

you get a little fucking desperate. And all of a sudden, life moves a little faster on what you fucking anticipated. And somebody comes to you and says, are you ready for a TV show? And you say yes. And now you got to start writing sketches. And you've never written a sketch before.

You've written stand-up fucking comedy. I don't know what happens to you. All of a sudden, at the end, they tell you they're going to give you $25,000 an episode of a show you're going to shoot. And you're going to shoot 10 shows, which means you're going to go out every weekend and make millions of dollars selling tickets

because Comedy Central is going to highlight you. What would that make you do? But I think it's the type of person who, like, like you said, we didn't put out the special, we didn't, that wasn't good, she put it out. What special wasn't good? One that we just shot, and then her second one. Oh, no, no, but I'm talking about, with her, she just shot an HBO one that people were criticized. I haven't seen that way yet.

What's the matter? The screen went down? No, we're good. We're good. Okay. No, no, no. What I'm trying to tell you is here, that maybe things move fast for a person. and it makes them do something that they wouldn't normally fucking do. I mean, it's just too many people raising their hand here.

I'm not here accusing nobody. I'm not here accusing nobody. I'm not sticking up for nobody. I'm just trying to find out why somebody would take sketches, somebody would take stand-up material, and somebody would take material and put in a fucking movie that had been discussed before. The magician with the magic things coming out of her pussy

and all that shit and the flowers. Yeah, you know, so. That's all I'm trying to fucking say. I've done some creepy fucking things, you know. But I always had a little bit of respect for this thing. And I learned at the age of 45 or something that you have to say no. Right. The same way people say no when you're looking for things sometimes,

you really have to look at a situation and go, you know what? I can't cover the spread on that. And you'll be so much fucking happier sometimes and you do that, you know? Sometimes you're like, you know what? I have my hands full. Years ago, these people contacted me to do this movie and money and this and that. But they wanted to put it right in the middle of this fucking surgery I was having and all this other stuff. And I remember looking at that money going, man, that would be a great project.

But I got to get in. I know how these movies shoot. I got to get in and out of this fucking car a thousand times. And I'm going to go in there and end up doing surgery again. And you know what? I turned the fucking movie down. The movie recently got released. that went straight to video.

You know where it did good? Where? Now where? So what the fuck did I miss? They wanted me to sell my soul. But how do you, how do you, when you're so, like when you were more desperate for the money, how do you look at it objectively and be like, okay, this isn't worth it even though I can fucking use the money?

You got to have a good team. And let me tell you something. There's no really good team. Situation has been going on where people are doing live podcasts. You and I did them three fucking years. years ago and we did well with them all we have to do is announce them at the ice house and we sell a hundred tickets like it's overnight yeah now you and i know that it would be a great thing but the problem that was doing was we weren't doing the show correctly not in my eyes there was something missing there was always an element missing from the show yeah and we got high and we

giggled and we had fun and they were very spontaneous and i did stand up in the beginning and it was something I always thought about taking it on the road, but I always thought that if I really took it on the road and beat it up It would expose a different element that I didn't want to have. I didn't want to put out there But these agents now are pushing these podcasts for people to go on the road They're not really thinking of the consequences They're also making the podcast into places where it's very impersonal I loved the Whitney Cumming special. I watched it again last night.

The only knock I have about it, it's a little bit too big the place where she taped. The venue itself. The laughter sounded far away and not very cohesive. I laughed. I'm not saying the special wasn't funny. I'm saying that the special seemed like it was in a bigger place. Now, again, like I told you,

when you're talking to somebody and you're going over numbers, and you're going, listen, I wanted it to be a smaller place. Yeah, but you're only going to make $9,000 at this place. Why don't we go for this place making $30,000? They're always pushing it a little, little bit. They're always pushing it a little, little bit,

and you have to know. But sometimes you get two people cornering you and saying, I think it's a good deal. And there you go. There you go. With my special, when I watch it with you, It was like Rhonda Rousey on her hands and knees. That first time, it was like Rhonda Rousey on her hands and knees.

Not even caring about that she got kicked or how she got kicked. All she was wondering about were all the things she had done wrong. When you find yourself in this position, all of a sudden you go, holy shit, that's what I fucking did wrong. And in my situation, I didn't get a production guy. Somebody to come to me and go, you can't wear a purple. shirt. You know, I didn't really look at the curtains. I took the curtains for granted. Okay. My material was fucking horrific. And if I would have planned ahead, I would have had somebody do 40 minutes. So all I had

really had to do was 50 minutes, maybe 46 minutes. And I could speed up the material. It was very slow-paced. But I didn't see that on Friday night. And on Friday, it was even more slow-paced than it was on Saturday. I saw all these things right from the jump. What my appearance was on that fucking thing was horrific. If I would have paid $500 for the production designer, somebody would have said, hey, man, you can't wear that purple fucking shirt. It looks sloppy on you.

There were just little things that I realized when I saw it. And you know what? There were nobody's fault. Because this was like the documentary. We all went into this with our eyes fucking closed. No, but we have to take, I have to take responsibility. No, you know. No, you know.

I'm telling you don't, because I knew better. You've been doing this for five years around me. You've been watching stand-up at 10, so I respect your opinion. But where I went wrong was I didn't overview the fucking whole thing right. And I didn't tell this guy to do. I thought I told John what to do. John didn't do it, but the people, it wasn't John, it was the people didn't do it. They put us in a bunch of pool of fucking strangers.

Yeah. So there was so many fucking things that wire. People are still saying, I'm still getting emails on Gmail. Now, please release it. It's not about fucking releasing it. It's like you don't want to see your uncle fucking shot in the head, do you? Nobody wants to find their uncle shot in the fucking head. So why would you want to see something?

Why would I let it out? Now, you'll do a better one this year. No, I know. I'm gunning for September in a fucking nice location, something cozy where we could smoke fucking joints. I want it to be very 2016, very avant-garde. We fucking evolved. We need a stand-up special that we need to evolve. Even HBO, I love their specials.

I grew up on HBO specials. It's your fucking dream. If you talk to a comedian and he tells you he doesn't want an HBO special, he's fool of shit. That's your fucking, that's it. That's the fucking Pierre de la resistance. That's when you come on Cartner, Kenya, Kanye West's face. Getting an HBO special for a comedian is like a fucking regular guy

shooting a load in Kim Kardashian and going, here, Kanye, here's the leftover. was sniffed cucksucker that's what it's like that's what the prestige of an HBO special's like but not anymore it doesn't feel like no there's not any more i mean they put the bump and i love whitney i love that special i loved everything about it the only thing i didn't dig was i thought the place was a little bit too fucking big she had every right to release it i would have fucking released it i'm not going to go to war with HBO they give you three or four shots to do those you Really?

Yeah, HBO gives you two or three or four shots to do that shit. So they give you a picker one. They take one, mix it with three. They take four, mix it with five. They do shit like that. So you don't fucking lose. Let me do some shout-outs that we get the fuck out of here. Louis the Kid, Matt Baltazar and Cancun,

Shane Spellman, water boxer, Biggie B. Andrew Sovel and Ice Key Brennan Don't forget Charlotte I'll be over there with Ucock suckers this weekend I'm leaving this afternoon Helium St. Louis next weekend and Uncle Joey's 53rd birthday party

in Vegas Friday night Leo will be there giving foot rubs to chubby chicks That's his favorite thing He always goes to Vegas He looks for chicks with chubby feet and shit and he does his thing. You know what I'm saying? That's one thing, man.

What can I say? Fuck, yeah. I'm feeling good. We've got the new studio. Have you been in Charlotte before? I'm sorry that the fucking podcast is still, we just got into the studio. We're still feeling out the growing pains.

The problem was we were putting music on the beginning, but we had to cut it off for you two. I don't want to waste your fucking time. And then people had to say that they had it reloaded. If you want me to fucking play the music, I mean, too. I love music in the beginning. But if I got to fucking cut it, what's the goddamn point?

Right. I love music. You guys know I got a fucking music show brewing, cock suckers. I got something. I love all these albums. I went down to Almeab and walked around. And I looked at people. And I looked at posers.

You know, people who were down there buying Eagle albums. Oh, my God, they must have sold two fucking million thousand. You know, it's great to die in this country. everything happens when you fucking die that's when you punch the ticket Michael Jackson dies and all of some of he's out of debt people jumping up and down three kids are on TV

it took Michael Jackson to fucking die you know and I go down to me by the other day I parked across the street there's always I love that place if you're a move it's a little on the commercial side for me because when I travel around to these different towns I always go

walking to a mom pop one that I really like and I just like the vibe in there And you pay a little extra, but you don't give a fuck because there's no lines. You actually smell the albums. You know, you go to Omeba, you smell piss and this fucking, you know, it's right out there. It's a cross from a jack in the fucking box. Yeah, but I mean, I love places like that. It's so, you went into the, you bought some new stuff, but you, they have a whole section of you.

I went on the fucking, I went, listen, first off, that's a four-hour project. I know. It's an all-day project. I went through one rack. For 45 minutes with no glasses on. Do you know what that's like in my world? Do you have any idea what it's like in my world to go through a rack of something without glasses?

Like, as I was running across the street on sunset with my bum knee, and I got to the opposite side, I realized, fuck, I didn't bring my fucking glasses. I go, I'll take my chances. I forgot five fucking alms. There was five albums that I forgot to get completely because I couldn't see them. But I was surprised on the shit they didn't have.

Like what? They didn't have animals. they didn't have a couple of albums that I was looking for I specifically didn't have the B-52's first album they didn't have the one-alman brothers album from the Phil Morris that I like they didn't have a lot of things I tell you what they have a great selection of Spanish shit remember they got two floors of fucking music in there but when I I like to do that show and I like to fucking go to different cities

I like to show the best one the best one for years for me was one in Dallas in Addison, Texas. It was next to the chuck and jive. It was a used to, it's still there. There's a little fucking restaurant. And Addison, Texas called the chug and jive. And you go in there and get like a gumball and shit like that. Well, four or five doors down from like 90-something to maybe a couple years ago.

I heard it closed down. Lysayat, oh my God. Oh, my fucking God. I would go in there for hours and decals. And just look through everything. Yeah, it's like a museum. You go there as a museum. You go there when you're my age,

maybe you had a brother who had albums and you inherited them. You know, there was a lot of people who inherited their brother's albums, like the little guy in almost famous. She left her brother, her albums. You know, there was a whole generation of people who were still very fortunate to go through their mom's albums

or maybe their brother's albums and just see what they were listening to and what that time period was. So when I go to an album store and I'm going through those albums, I'm thinking of shit. I'm thinking about the first time I touched that album. That thing on YouTube with Jimmy fucking Page,

have we played it? I don't know. What is it about? And how, he talks about stairway to heaven. And he talks about, but that there's one point of it that he's rubbing the album cover, and it really fucking takes you to a different level

because he's rubbing it. He's thinking about what he was doing at that time in his fucking life. Like the album cover. What's that I search? No, no, no. The album cover that I immediately got the other day. There's an album cover that I got the other day. I bought this album, you know, between me and you guys,

I bought this album in one way or another ten times already. But this album is such a fuck. Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin is the album that really kicked it up to the next level for me. It kicked it up so hard for the next level that I didn't like No Quarter. I grew up like in the fifth grade not liking No Quarter. I would skip over and put the ocean on. Okay, tell me that No Quarter, there's not the third song on the first side on here. and the ocean is after it.

Tell me that, without even looking at it. Is it inside? Is it outside? What the fuck? Anyway, take that wrapper off because it's just going to fucking break. We'll keep it. That's how I remember this album. But that album, I would keep it like a... I didn't want my mom to see this out.

Look at... It's like the fucking people. It's like the kids from the Road Warrior, the first one. Okay. So side one is dancing days or something? The song remains the same. No, the other side. How's the whole side one?

All right, side two. Dancing days. Okay. The air maker. Okay, die a maker. Then die a maker. Then no quarter. I would skip over to the ocean.

Yeah. I'm not fucking with you motherfuckers. This album grabbed me like nothing else has ever grabbed me. I was listening to Spanish music. I was listening to fucking, you know, black music. I was listening to a little bit of rock music. But this album, I'll tell you how fucked up it got me.

It made me smoke reefer. That was your first time? This is the fucking album that made me fucking say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's time. I got to take this up to the next fucking level. This was the fucking album. And when I see this album cover,

this album covers my childhood. Like I told you, the inside of this, I used to look at this every fucking daily. Like, just open it up and look at this and go, wow, someday that's going to be fucking me up there, holding some dead cadaver to the fucking gods, you know, whatever the fuck it was. This album was just my life.

I don't know why. When I saw this the other day, I don't want this album, but I bought it just for the fucking cover because I don't know how many fucking mornings I listened to this while I was doing homework or I listened to this while I was stretching to go play basketball. Better yet, in those days, I was such a basketball fanatic

that I would sit my ass against the wall and just sit like this like those people and just work on my thigh muscles and I would listen to side fucking the other side with the song remains the same and over the hills and far away and the one song oh dog I grew up on this motherfucker

you can't calm me when it comes to this shit so why don't you want it no I want it I wouldn't have bought it if I didn't want it but it wasn't what I went down there to get that's what I'm trying to say I'm very sorry when I went down there I wasn't thinking in the houses of the holy.

But when I saw the cover, it was so fucking strong. I just grabbed it. It meant that much to that room. That little fucking room I had when my mom died, that was one of the first albums that you saw. Those places are intimidating because there's a lot of people like you who it really means a lot. And they go through and they're really fast.

Like they zoom through the stacks and see if there's anything they don't have. You can't replace that album that you had in that basement. There's no fucking replacing it. You know, when I lived with the Runnies from April of 81 to October of 82, one of our favorite things we do, we go to Pathmark in the daytime. Now, Pathmark added a fucking record store to the thing, like a record department that was across from the greeting cards. Big fucking mistake. Okay? So we went down there one night and figured out that after 10 o'clock, A, there was no security.

And B, there was a gate. But you could stick your hand in that gate and take the album off the top and walk out of the store. It was right next to the magazines. You're fucking dying. You're looking at me going, Joey, what the fuck? I'm talking about senior year in high school.

I dropped out and I would load trucks. And there was nights I worked till 1 o'clock and I would get home. And Mike was just getting home from fucking doing. and shit. And we look on what was coming on on HBO. And let's pretend it was the Raging Bull, Hollywood Nights, and there was something else that came on that at that time. The thief with James Kahn that was all running on HBO. And in those days, they ran the same shit every fucking night, just in a different order. Okay? And then at five, they put like tails from the

dark side or whatever the fuck. And I still remember me and him getting in the car. First of all, I still remember me and him walking. But after a while, we figured. it out that one of us had to go down there in the daytime and go through the record department and take every album that they were looking at and put it back by the stack of magazines so you would get an album look at it show it to your friend ha ha ha ha he would get an album and you just walk and you play switcher route but what you were doing was loading that bin you were loading that bin with the albums that you wanted so you put fucking ten of them in there and then you waited to they closed Pathmark until the avenue,

and you walked back down there at fucking 11 o'clock at night, you bought some groceries, but before you left, you took those fucking albums out of the bin, and you put them in the line with you, and you put them on the floor. You paid for your groceries,

and they gave you a bag, you took the bag, you put up the albums, and you put them outside the bag, and you'd walk outside of fucking Pathmark. You know how many albums I had from fucking Pathmark with no exaggeration? Close to 75, 80 fucking albums.

And I had it in one of those construction boxes that somebody had given me that's made special for people who liked albums. It was like a long milk crate. That's what it was. And I had three quarters of that motherfucker filled up. These are all albums I picked up with all that drug money, that stupid fucking money,

stealing chains and all that shit. Over the years, I would always go to Bergenline and buy two or three albums. In fact, after a while, I took the album covers that I liked, Helbet for leather and all that shit, and I hung them up in the walls and the ceiling. So when you came in the room downstairs

All you would see were album covers Of our favorite album, you know, David Bowie, whatever the fuck the album was And Fleetwood Mac, we had put it all around the room That's how much of an album guy I was Did you have like an emotional connection To those specific albums? Like if someone came in and was like,

I would give you a hundred bucks to smash this album But give you an exact copy of it Like would you let them do that or no? I don't give a fuck what you do with the album It's the dream. It's the dream that, you know, there's certain albums, Led Zeppelin, too. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus Christ.

I still remember hanging out with Ray Canella doing C.C. Crystal, fucking, you know, fucking playing Led Zeppelin, too. I still remember Houses of the Holy. The B-52s, that album, I still remember it. Like, if it was yesterday, people playing it constantly, constantly at parties when I was growing up. I'm eating fucking Kualoos dancing on one leg, shit like. that. I mean, it was just a fucking horror show. How many albums I went through

and how many of those Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. I loved that album. I used to look at the album and stare at it for fucking I was like a dummy. I'm sure they have tons of connections to my life, Lee. That's crazy. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Why did you make me eat that

chocolate, Lee? I'm all fucked up now. I didn't make you do nothing. You made me do all this. All right, give me the ads here. Give me the sheet here. Let's get the fuck out of here and get this party started. Dog, I got to tell you something. I was cooking already, but this fucking eureka vapor put me over the top. This one here,

this little electronic one, this gives you a nice big hit. Straight to the goat, Lee. Oh, yeah. And they're more solid than they were, but this is more. You can see that you're going to smoke the whole thing. A lot of the oil sit on the bottom. And this is a setiva here.

This is how fucking deep the eureka goes. Now, what's for dinner, Lee? I can tell you're already thinking about what you're going to eat tonight. You got some tortellini. I had that last night. You got some chicken cordon blues or what? You've been eating chicken. You've been eating chicken fucking tortellini since I met you. It's delicious. Tell them. Don't you put margin on it? Yeah. Do I believe it's not butter spray?

What's that? I can't believe it's not butter spray. All right. Wait till you're not going to believe that wart on your asshole. What that is, talk sucker. Stop spraying that shit on the food. Get some nice butter, low salt, whipped. What am I going to do with you? eating that tortellini. Look at the shape of you.

How are you going to go home? You got your little shirt on tonight? You're visiting Mama tonight? No. Thank God. What do you got on the books tonight? The rest of the night? Nothing.

Nothing. Good. That's good that way. Anyway, on it, still. Always making it work for me, man. Always. I'm starting to fly again. You know me, the Shroom tech.

You don't know who you're sitting next. Now they got these new disease. Kiva. People are scratching them next to the young planes. Babies are getting fucked up. What's the new disease they got? Ebola? No, that's the old fucking disease.

They got a new one, you're fucking. Look at the shape of you. What I'm saying is that, uh, why you got to interrupt me? I don't know. Anyway, Shroom tech, I don't know if it works in Ebola. I'm just cracking fucking jokes. Shroom tech sport, shroom tech immune. If you're flying, the immune is great.

Shroom tech sport, tremendous if you want that extra cardiovascular little fucking edge towards the end. The mushrooms are tremendous for you. I live off the hemp protein powder. I've lost weight with that powder. I think it's more 32 grams of protein. It's a lot better than eating 62 grams of protein. That's what

your body can absorb, right? For a meal, that's what your body can absorb. So I'm always a hemp protein guy, but why listen to me? I'm a fat fuck. Go to honor.com right now and press in. Church. I get 10% off your first order delivered right to your door. If you want to deliver it to your door on a monthly, go with

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But if you like it, press in ring.com, church now. and you get free expedited FedEx shipping. All right, that's it. That's the show, guys. I don't know what to tell you. The patois wasn't, the Musing Bata wasn't here today. But we're just getting warmed up in the studio.

You know what I'm saying, Lee? We'll get there. I thought Ray Canella is a good guy. Ray Canella is a tremendous guy. I wouldn't have had him on if I didn't think he was a fucking good guy. What's the matter with you? Anyway, this weekend, the Charlotte Comedy Zone. Next weekend, Helium St. Louis.

and then Uncle Joey's birthday at the South Point Casino in Vegas, February 19th and 20th. I know my man, Bobby Sharon, and Crystal are going to be there. Really? Sure. You're coming? And what's my girl's coming? What's Esther Coos opened up for me? And I'm going to have Gabe do 10 minutes.

And I'm going to have what's your other boys coming? My main man, Larry, DJ fucking Larry's coming security. He's the King of Vegas. All right. I love you guys. Thank you again for Ring. Thanks again, Annet.com. Thank you to Eureka.

Vapor Pen, if you see them out in Colorado, Seattle, wherever, support Eureka pens. We're going to start talking more about them and the effects and the clean vapor because there's a lot of shitty shit going on out there. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. Stay black. This show was brought to you by ring.com. Go to rain.com slash church to get free expedited FedEx shipping

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