The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #355 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Mike Pyle

Episode Date: February 11, 2016

Mike Pyle, UFC Welterweight who received a "Fight Of The Night" bonus for his victory of Sean Spencer at Fight Night Hendricks V Thompson, calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt.   This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Recorded live on 02/10/2016.


This show is brought to you by Onit.com. Go to Onit.com and use CodeWord Church to get 10% off all the great optimization products like Alpha Brain, New Mood, and Shum Tech Immune, and Shum Tech Sport. What's up, Coxuckers? Joey Dears and my main man, Lee Syatt, February 10th, a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Have you been watching this O.J. Simpson there? I haven't. I'm saving it for, to watch all at once because I've heard it's amazing. What are you fucking saving? What are you? Were you saving money? No, just saving it to watch all the second one.

Watch the whole thing. What are you do when it's on TV? What do you do? You sit there like a Mamalucalier? I don't have cable, so I watch everything later. You don't have time to be. Just watch it by the episode, right? And you can think about it and watch it a couple times and digest it because I had to watch it a couple fucking times.

Now, did you know anything about this growing up? And that's why I'm so, and that's why I want to watch it all at once. Because it's so, I know about it after the fact. Like the only time I've ever seen O.J., he was in an episode of jail. Like, you know, the cops show that they kind of shoots in jail? he showed up there once in Vegas, but I didn't know anything about him in football. I wasn't really around for the trial. And so it's just, I don't have any of that background knowledge. All I know of O.J. is hearing about the trial. You know, OJ. was a fucking great athlete in the late

70s, you know, 80s, just Monday nights. I just, I don't remember no distinctive things, okay? I just remember he played for the bills and when he touched. the ball, people went crazy, and he was thin, and he ran fucking beautifully. And, you know, I don't remember them winning a Super Bowl with him or anything. So in my mind, he never stood out that much. Over the years, I saw him in movies. Okay. Like everybody else, you know, I saw him in movies and TV shows.

And then one day I'm reading something. And it said that O.J. had been charged or something that his wife was claiming he had her. And, you know, one of those things that you look at, and just go, okay, whatever. It got nothing to do with me. That's just interesting. And then when I looked at the wife, to be honest, I didn't even look at the wife. I didn't even know what she looked like, nothing.

I just moved on with my life. Well, what was it like back then? Because now it's all in the news every few months. There's some star, either sports or, like, after hitting their wives. That really gave everybody awareness. Like, that changed the game. Oh, okay. Like, that changed the game.

You and Paula got into an argument. argument. Right. Okay. Paula throws a glass at you because she's mad. You grab a wrist or something? Like to stop her from hitting you? Let's say she attacks you and you stop her wrist. Her wrist is red. The neighbor calls the cops. Cops come to your door. They talk to yours, then they separate you. In those days, if Paula didn't look visibly beaten they asked if it's okay if police stayed but she's scared of you

and a woman said no he could stay that's it cops will leave now if you and Paul get into the argument and the cops come nine of the ten lead you're going to fucking jail just automatically of the OJ thing that's how much awareness

it gave to the country just to stop it like that's it Like whether he touched her wrist, tapped her hand, bumped her chest against her, and told that he love her, it's not going any further. Any contact, it's over. Any contact, it's over. Okay. Now, it's, I had never, I had seen domestic violence as a kid, not in my home next door for about a year. A year?

And for a long time, I've been thinking about it. Like, I thought about it, like, what happened? you know, I have a good memory about things. This is just blacked out. I saw her. I heard the yelling. I heard the dishes. Shit like that.

And then one night, at about two in the morning, I just saw something. She pounded on my door, and she was covered from head to toe. In blood? Oh, my God. And I remember my mom making a remark the next day. You know, sometimes when I talk to you, I think of my mind. my mom and me having a conversation. Because my mom would tell me things,

and I tell her why you, the big weird word in those days wasn't positive. Like now the big word is, why he's saying something negative? It was just, like, why would you say something like that? People would confront you, you know? And the next morning, like she came over, we kept her in there, my mom changed her. I don't really remember what happened after that.

It must have been, but I remember the next morning, went right back in that's all. And he had hit her with something. I mean, it was just terrible. There was blood everywhere. You know, she refused to get stitches. I don't remember. But what I do remember is saying to my mom, like, what happened?

And she said, it really doesn't matter because she went back to him. And she's going to go get hit one more time. And I go, why would you say something like that? And she said, the woman is just stupid from time to time. Remember my own mom saying this to me. And I never thought about it again, Lee. Never again. It had nothing to do with me.

Nothing to fucking do with me. And I get divorced in 91. I get separated in 91. And it was an amicable separation. No big fucking deal, you know. People break up all the time, you know. And at this time, I was unhappy. I didn't know the center.

We spoke about my unhappiness, that I was going to walking meditation. I didn't know what the stem of the unhappiness was. Once she disappeared and I got into stand-up, I was very happy. The only sadness was that child. That you weren't in her life. Yeah, no, but now I knew.

I didn't know. I was very naive. I believed everything my ex-wife said to me, blah-p-p-p-pah-pah, you're going to see her, you're going to be a part of her life. and that was just words to get her out. She thought about it, you know, if you think back in hindsight. But that's not what this is about.

What this is about was that we went from a amicable relationship to a shitty relationship and throw the addiction on there, me not working, all the shit I was doing. I fell apart. And I went back to New York in January of 93 with the thought that I would give that bad taste, a separation, Samar. Now, were you sad leaving your daughter? Yeah, yeah, I knew I was leaving her, but I knew

that she was in good hands, and I knew that I wasn't getting nowhere, and I knew so many fucking things, and I had this bad feeling, and I was heartbroken. Trust me, and Tonya. I'm just saying it very nonchalantly, but that whole time in New York, I was heartbroken. It was the catalyst

in my addiction, like it was really breaking my heart at night, on top of many other things. Now, why, look, why couldn't you just stay in I'm not sure the city, you were in Denver wherever.

I was in Boulder. You were in Boulder and just not go and be around her. Just still get for space. But why do you have to go to New York? It was, uh,

it was the end of, uh, one, two, three year run. You know, that whole thing of me getting in trouble

was to get money to go back to New York. I was trying to get back to New York. I, I don't know. I don't fucking know. And now it's 91.

And I go back to New York. I see, it for 10 days. It's not the New York I left. I regroup with my dad. I go back to Colorado. We separate and, you know, three months is great. And also in January of 93, it just goes somewhere completely different. She's got a boyfriend. She's living with the guy. The baby's living in there. It's just a horror show. Is it eating me alive? No. What's eating me alive is that my child is in that house. I don't know who these people are. I was raised a different way. I was raised that if your child's going to move into my house, I'm going to come talk to you and say,

listen, he's going to live with me. It's not going to be a problem, man. Let's say that happened, and I know it's easy to look back on it. If he had come over and just say, hey, my name's so-and-so, your daughter's going to be living with me, would it have, could your entire life be different? Could he still be living in Colorado? I would have been pissed off for three days, four days, but then I would have gotten over it, and I would understand it. It's the way they went about it. So this went on for a, a year until so now it's January 92 and this went on until January of 93 I mean we were almost at blows by this time we were always in court we were both broke from the thing I go

to New York I go to New York to for nine fucking months okay I stay in New York for nine fucking months I'm doing comedy I'm building up my bankroll a little bit I was a little light on cash all my credit cards have been spent I was around my friends you know When you're feeling bad about yourself and things aren't going your way, just go home. Go home. Walk those fucking streets, you walk to grammar school. Walk the streets where you learned about life and you'll get some egging back to you. And I was getting some egging back to me and I was breaking down where my life was.

You know, I was breaking it down and going home at night and making notes. And I wasn't doing a mom to stand-up. I wanted to. I was doing a lot more blow than I was doing stand-up. But at the end of all that, something made me go home. And with a focus, I was going to do stand-up comedy. I'm going to commit and be a dad to this little girl. Now, are you in contact with the ex-wife at all during those nine months?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sending money. I'm sending shit. Tao, whatever. I'm walking down 42nd Street once a week. You know, you're walking down 40th century. You'll find toys.

Oh, yeah. So I would send shit, and then she wouldn't get it. There was always drama. But by this time, I didn't know. I didn't know what I was walking into. So I go back now. 93. I get into comedy.

and we're at war. Immediately. Immediately. And it's getting worse and worse and worse, and one thing leads to another. And all of a sudden, one day, I slept all my friends' house, and I wake up one day, and I read this article about O.J.'s' wife getting killed.

Now, you've got to remember, she got killed later night. So the news in the morning papers was very light. It was very light. next day. All that was said at that point was that OJ's wife had been killed. And OJ. was on a plane to Chicago for blah, blah, blah. So that gave you, that gave you, it threw you off a little bit. Yeah. Because that was the initial report that he was in Chicago, why he got, why she got killed. So now right away in my heart, I knew he killed. Like as soon as I read the article,

after I had read that article a year later saying that he had beat her or the cops came or I don't remember what it was and I don't want to say that he got arrested. I don't know what had happened. I made an assumption in my head just from what things I knew and what I grew up around.

You know what I'm saying? Immediately, oh, he killed her. He killed him. So usually, like I'm a law buff and I'm a fan of different cases. If somebody gets arrested and there's some way I could get documents. I'll read up and read up on the trial just to see what motions they file,

just to see little things, just to see if they're doing their job. Because I want to learn. Maybe I want to learn something. Wow. He filed a motion to move transfer this to a different county because of prejudice, just the different things. There's so many fucking thousands of motions you could file. So for some reason, I just like this case.

But the reason why I like this case, case wasn't because I like this case. It was because deep down inside, man, I wanted to kill my fucking wife. I mean, I was just growing this anger about it and I was just getting angrier and angrier. So while this is going on, it's fueling my fucking little undertone I have of going up to them, you know, by by June of 9th. For excuse me, her and I had been through a couple things. One thing that I thought about last night was they hit me with a two by four and the other guy came and I hit the other guy back and they hit Hercules. There was just a series of events that I got to tell you something.

They used my style of torturing people. They were always laying something on me once a week. I was always getting something laid on me once a week. Like once a week I was getting a call with bad fucking news That wears on you Lee That wears on you What kind of bad news? Oh my God

I'm broke You know like she would call me and go I got a call from American Express You wrote them $10,000 You better pay that fucking thing off Because my name is on it And I go fuck you By this time I was just spiting

I was just doing shit Just to spite her Thank God you guys got divorced Like do you ever think No No no But when we were together it wasn't like that.

This is what I'm saying to you. It was three months after the divorce. Is that part of the mind felt? Like you had a great time with this late girl woman. And then she's like three months later. She's just fucking you. I didn't know what was going on. What really happened was this.

She had moved in with the guy at this point. And one that I was getting gas. Like mid-January, towards the end of January. And she pulled up in his car. And she's like, you must. motherfucker, you're having a good time lately, you're dating a 20 year old girl, a 21-year-old girl, you know, blah-pah, blah, blah, blah. We should try to talk this out. And it was weird because she goes, I'll be at your house tomorrow, 1 o'clock. To get her stuff. To talk to me about it.

She had already moved in with the guy. She had already taken everything out of my house. We were in the process of selling the condo that I had bought when I was in a halfway house. That's what we're in the process of doing so here we are trying to sell a condo and we're fucking uh talking to an attorney but i don't want to get off track okay the main thing was that while all this oj thing you're gonna watch this while all these little stories were getting released i was plotting to fucking icer like i didn't know how like it was fueling my aid so when i watch this show now i tape it like at seven and then later on at night i watch it they're only up to arresting him I mean you're not missing nothing right now still you know I don't

give a fuck if it's a spoiler alert you got to watch no it's how many years old is the case that's on a spoiler alert you but they're finding out they're releasing a lot of things that they didn't release during the case you know this is a very interesting case because this case was one on the presumption that LAPD fucked up which they fucked up basic fucked up you know and then the prosecution the defense also proved that not only were they fucked up but they were racist I don't know how that gets you out of fucking killing somebody that's fucking crazy

how how like that's a defense especially when your glove had blood on it yeah they messed up evidence like they saw OJ I always knew about this somebody saw OJ that night driving at a hurry. But she sold her story to some news station so they couldn't use it towards the defense.

Like the defense had so many things, but the most important thing was, they had a print on a gate. On the wooden gate you said, right? On a metal gate or something. But that night it rained. And that print washed off. When they went to it, it was already gone.

The guy that checked out, the cop didn't log it. It was late. People are switching shifts. It's like any other job. You see a murder. You see two people bloody. Guess what? If it happens at 11.30, you're going to go check it out.

But at 12, you're getting the fuck out of it. Because that's a lot of paperwork, a lot of press. If that's not your shift, you're getting the fuck out of it. And that's what somebody exactly did. But by leaving, they left a fingerprint. And that changed the entire kid. What do you think that you were just out of prison in the halfway house? and you see this dude who's an NFL player and has money

and because of that he's getting out from killing somebody you can buy a defense in this country there's some things you can't buy out of there's some things if they got you listen if they would have caught him with a knife to a neck with a camera and him smiling no that's it yeah and Ronald Goldman laying next to him yeah but it was all

that the drive on Venice Boulevard or whatever, Washington Boulevard, I'm sorry if I'm making mistakes on the lady's seeing her, the finger tip, you know, Mark Furming, adding blood. And then they caught somebody, adding blood. Like there was blood missing from a tube. It was just fucking crazy. But the bottom line was that it had to do with what had happened years earlier.

There was a race riot here when they announced the cops that beat up. Ronnie King. Rodney King. So there had been a big race thing here. But again, every day on the OJ thing, different facts would come out that were fueling my anger and rage and letting me know. I'm like, he didn't get let go until October of 95 or something

or 96 or something like that. Or he killed him in 94. Yeah, June 12th or something. 94. He sat in jail for 18 months. Yeah. So 95, October, December's when he fucking got out. October. When he got acquitted. I'm sorry.

That's fucking crazy. Just there's like there's trials that like really are part of like a generation. This is, is this the biggest trial of your life? Like just every night there's new information.

Just the entire country is watching. Yes. Yeah. This is the biggest one. And it was made very public. You know, it was, there was a lot of access to it. You know, CNN was always talking about the facts and stuff like that. After I moved to L.A., I found out little things. Because I had met different people here, and they each had little stories about O.J. And, you know, that Ronald Goldman was really bringing her blow.

That he was bringing her Coke. That's what really happened. So that's what everyone else is talking about. The talk about that, and they're like, oh, it's terrible that he can. killed her. You said it's fueling your rate. So like when you're hearing it, what are you thinking? I'm like, oh my God, this is exactly

how I want to do it. I want to show up there at night when they're fucking talking and just slice both their fucking necks off. But by that time, I wasn't thinking about my daughter. I wasn't thinking about nothing. I was just thinking about how they

had yanked me. You know, one of the lessons that my mom taught me early, Nuka te de'a, you know, never stay hit. These people were fucking me up legally. And they had me on one thing off to bat, the kidnapping and the prison time.

Like, it was going to be tough for me to prove my point as a good dad unless I would have spent $100,000 or $200,000 on a great defense, on a great attorney that would have built up different avenues of my and said, this is, you know, if I would have had a house, a car, responsible job.

If I would have had relatives in the neighborhood, I would have taken Kathy to court. Yeah, because you said even the judge at one point brought up the fact that she was with you during it. You guys didn't get married until after you got out of prison. Right. So how's that even an argument? That doesn't make sense.

So this, you know, I'm watching this show last night. And when you ever watch something, but you're thinking about something else? Yeah, absolutely. I was going on. I'm thinking about this time. And there was, even my wife at one time to me, said to me, you're quiet tonight. I'm thinking about this how I can't even tell this story to people because they'll think I'm crazy.

So I have to tell them on the podcast tomorrow when I could really tell them that. I saw pictures of the crime scene. Like pictures of the crime scenes have been leaked. You know, he decapitated her. I mean, it was held by just a couple fucking. So where would stuff get leaked back then before the internet? Like, how would it? Like newspapers can't print that.

CNN had pictures, you know, people, pictures were getting released, pictures were getting bought, you know. And I remember seeing the crime scene and thinking about the final result. I had a friend when I first moved to Baldwin, 85, I used to buy weed at this. I used to live at 10, 12, 14th Street on the hill. Okay. Right across the street from the university. It was a boarding house. and I lived in an apartment with three other fucking morons

A Japanese kid or white kid and a Mexican kid The Japanese kid was my cook I used to go up to the fucking To the thing buy meat And he would cook it for me Japanese style with steamed rice And he would get half the food So that was my deal

You always get stuff How do you get someone to be your chef? Because that's it He was a poor college student from Japan He was eating shit He was eating shit And when I go Don't your parents send you my mind

Hi, my parents, no, bop, pa, pop, pap, pap, so I said, fuck it. So I said, here's the deal. I'm going to go to alfalfa's on the hill every fucking day. And buy meat, chicken, pork, and it's shredded, it's organic. I want you to make something nice. Tell me what you want me to get in the morning, and I'll get it. And he would say, today, get pork, get three onions, get two pieces of mushroom, get fucking this type of mushroom, get this type of mushroom.

We'd buy some Jasmine rice, and he'd have Jasmine rice at the house. When I got home at five or six went to work, bam, he would cook up a fucking little meal for me and he would get to eat. How great is that? That's an amazing story. That's way better than Blue Apron. How long did you do that? So the cops were looking for me two months later. Two months of Japanese cooking.

That's fucking amazing. Tremant. Every night. Every night I went to Alfalfas. I bought some food. I brought it home about 12 after I went to the gym because it was part of my gym walk. I wasn't working. I had money from the fucking settlement.

Then I had money on a credit card. I had a thievery credit card. So I was living like a doctor, Jack. I'd get up about 8.30, smoke a number. But next door to me were these hippies. Like this really old, ugly hippie and a little young, stinky boyfriend. So she was 50-something, and he was 25. He was a nerd with glasses.

Very sweet. And she was very sweet, too. She was just, she got hit with the ugly stick. a thousand times. Like nobody ever thought a fuck in this woman except. And she was a hippie? So she was stinky dirty feet. And she drank all day and sell wheat. So I

met this dude out of there. His name was Ed. And me and that used to walk out and smoke a join and then we'd go get cookies or a slice of pizza. And little by little I became friends with Ed. He was my goomba. And he was a Vietnam vet. That also bought weed from her. that also bought weed from her.

And, you know, we became friends, and he would tell me how he would go to the VA, and he was captured in Vietnam. And little by little, we became friends, and we kept talking and talking and talking. And some nights we'd buy weed and just go to the hill and smoke a joint and sit up there and talk shit.

And then I told him I was a thief one time. And he told me he was broke. He didn't get a check to elect the fifth. I said, come on, let's go rob some. So he went down to the Pearl Street Mall, and there was a cookie thing on the corner. And I said, Stay on the corner.

If you see a cop coming down that block, fucking wave your hands or whistle and walk slowly. And sure enough, I kicked the window in, I robbed the place for nothing. $160 in nickels or something stupid. I was a punk. And I gave him half. And we became friends after that. He goes, you're the real deal. Fuck you.

You'd be my lookout. So he would come with me on credit card things. He would come on different things. So over the years, we just stayed in touch. But he was a killer. never forget what he was. I mean, he took me to where he was staying one time. He lived, like, by Chautauqua Park and, like,

eight guys lived in an apartment. He lived, like, in a tent in the corner for, like, a hundred a month. And he'd take showers there, and he read. How old was he around, do you think? If I was 20 when I met Ed, you figure, 85. I was 22 years old when I met Ed. Ed had to be 10, 15. 20 years older than me, maybe, 15 years older than me.

So you start a 40-year-old man on a criminal career pack? Me and Ed, come on. Look out for me. Whatever I made, I gave Ed half. So Ed became my fucking illegal bodyguard. Ed had knives. Ed had weapons. Ed had fucking night goggles. Ed had everything because he was still involved with those Vietnam dudes.

He was still involved with training at the facilities. He would go down and train, no matter how old he was. No matter whether he was a little fucked up in the head, Ed was still a killing machine. So even I kept Ed as a friend when I went to prison. He would write me letters. Ed was a real fucking deal. I mean, I want to cry because all the people I lost contact with, it was Ed. And so why did you lose contact then if you were so close?

Because Ed and me, I moved to Seattle. Ed had like a number and a P.O. box. And I wrote him a few letters and he never wrote me back. So then when I went to Boulder in 96, when I left Seattle, I went back to Boulder, I went looking for him. And people said they hadn't seen him. He might have moved to Denver because it was getting gentrified. Boulder also. It was after the earthquake in Northridge.

After an earthquake, this place, fucking clears out, Jack. People start from scratch somewhere else. So a lot of people moved. A lot of people came. So Ed, probably his rent. They tore down where he lived. Who knew? But Ed got out of both.

I never saw Ed again. But Ed was my fucking friend. Ed was like a Raygo-type friend to me, like a falado. Like, Ed, I loved Ed. Well, to have the kind of trust you probably needing somebody to rob places with him. It was more than that. I don't know. Like, I remember one time, me and Ed were by roses.

Roses was a place that roasted chickens. Okay? Okay. And it was the day of time. And me and Ed was stone to the gills. we had just smoked like a joint and a half and we were eating munchies

and were sitting in front of the Fox Theater and all of a sudden ten cops pull up and there's a dude in the roof and he's thinking of jumping. Right? And I look at it and there's ten cops

and there's a psychiatrist talking to him and I yell jump in front of all these people and Edmy just fucking fall out like just fall the fuck out on the floor. People looking at it

get the fuck out of you what's wrong with you and now we're both yelling in unison jump jump jump jump cock sucker jump and he's like fuck you the guys up on the roof fuck you too the cops like we're gonna fucking arrest you so me and ed ran and ed was my dog so when i was going to go through all this ed i was going to ed and crying and going there can you believe she did this to me And then goes, listen. Okay. So you slice the throat. Who gets the kid?

And he goes, listen, there's a way that you could kill it, and nobody will fucking know. I mean, so Ed was, so Ed had a friend named Ra. Just Ra? Ra. He had Agent Armin on his face. He was really scary. Like, people called him Satan and shit. And Ed said that in Vietnam.

He was one of those guys that cut people's ears off and shit. So Ed talked to Ra. And they're like, dog, we can supply you with everything to make her fucking disappear. So you kill her, you disappear. No, they don't find the body. I'll teach you how to fucking backpedal everything so they can't find you. Nothing, no scent. Well, wait, okay, so you're pissed up.

You want a killer. I'm furious. Now, this is what happens. Christmas, he kills her June of 94. Right. Now, I've had enough. Okay. They're fucking with me.

I can't see the baby for Christmas. I can't do this. And this was one of the scariest things I ever did. I get a call one day. It's Christmas Eve morning or something, one of those, like the day before Christmas Eve. It's the 23rd where people are at work. And I get a fucking call at my house.

Like a page. And I go to the pay phone. That's an attorney. He's like, I'm just calling you to inform me. You're not getting your child today. until January 22nd until the formal hearing And I go, what are you talking about? What the fuck are you?

And I hung up on them and I called Kathy and I go, Kathy, I don't know what you're doing, man. You're not going to give me the kid for seven weeks over the holidays. Who does this? Who does this? Even if you and I have a misunderstanding, who does this?

Until you this day before Christmas Eve. She's like, fuck you. Goodbye, Merry Christmas. Fuck you. And she hangs up on me. I went to my friend Danny and Madeline's house. And I got the bigger butcher knife they had. And I hugged her.

And she goes, where are you going with that knife? I got to cut something outside in the car. She knew. And when I got in the car, I could see her chasing me in the rear view mirror. And I got in the car, and I made a left-hand turn down fucking 28th. And I drove right to where the guy worked. And as I pulled onto his lot, I saw his fucking car there. Wait, wait.

music? What is it like when you're driving with a fucking knife to go stab somebody? I was just crying. I just was crying because I was going to let everybody down. I'm going to go fuck this motherfucker out. I fucking knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

Like the same way I tied that dude up, like the same way I did. Thousands of the bad things. I was going to chop this motherfucker up right in this fucking office. Try to hide it or just right in front of everybody. I had the knife in my collar in my sleeve. It was going to pop out of my arm. Like De Niro had his knife and fucking taxi driver. So you're not even worried or thinking about getting away with it?

No, no. No, in my mind there was no way. I was going to make a point. I was going to fucking make a point. I was going to chop this motherfucker up in broad daylight. Say anything or just fucking just go fucking just go. Let's go for it. That was it.

Everything bad that happened to me in my life was going to culminate right fucking now. Like right now, everything bad that happened to me, whether I didn't get lunch in the third grade, if a dog bit me, like, everything bad that ever happened to me, I was going to take out on this fucking guy right now. With that night, fuck. I went to the front. I said, where can I find John Ball? They sit on the fourth floor, whatever, the fifth floor. I got on the fucking elevator. I went upstairs, and I just started walking.

I went right to his office I just opened the door his reception and looked at that man and said where's John she goes if you're referring to Mr. Ball he just stepped out to lunch with his associates and I walked out I went downstairs and I just cried

for like 10 fucking minutes in the car because he had no idea and I had no idea what I was going to get myself into this guy could have had a gun this guy could have been waiting for me in the office and that was it I was fucking scared man

if I had done that, I was going to do anything. I didn't trust myself anymore. So I made a promise. I forced myself to get on stage every time I felt shitty. Every time I felt shitty after that. And finally, I think I got her. I think I got her like the day after Christmas. I called her father and fucking said,

listen, you're fucking not kidding me. You're not kidding me. And he called and got the kid, and I got it like the day after Christmas. Hours passed. I didn't even talk to him. At this point, I wouldn't even look at their faces, no more. I just knew the day

it was going to come soon. I just had to figure out how to do it. And I didn't know whether I was going to do one of them or do them both. But if you're walking on ice, you might as well dance. I was going to do them both. One right in front of the other. I was going to say, like, if John was there and you did it,

were you just going to go for the wife, do you think? Both of them. Both of them were going to go down. One right in front of the other. So quick that this guy or this girl would shit their pants, they'd freeze. They wouldn't even know what to happen. Most people do. When you slice somebody's neck, most people do. They don't know what to fucking do.

You know, everything I've ever seen in my life, when people get into misunderstandings, the guy that moves first like that unsuspiciously and makes like a heavy fucking move, just everybody in the room freezes. That's where experience comes from. That's where bodyguard or being in a service or being a cop reaction.

It's reaction. That's what the weird thing is. When you're on the street and the terrorist comes and he starts spraying a fucking rat, restaurant you're in it's your reaction are you really going to go for your ankle holster and start shooting somebody it looks so easy on TV right and so that same I guess I think I've got my question for you you had been planning on oh I got a call speaking of bad motherfuckers Mike Powell on the phone yes sir what's happening brother oh man I don't

know I'm just enjoying life right now big where's the baby he's in he's in his bro I'm taking a nap. Beautiful. Congratulations on Saturday. All I've been reading about is the 40-year-old still has it. That's right. This old dog still got some fight, right? Listen, unfucking believable.

When I called Lee on Saturday, that's the first thing Lee said to me. Did you see Mike Pyle? Jesus fucking Christ. It was a great fight, man. It was fucking... Like, the announcers were, like, they weren't kind of being mean to you, but they were, they weren't, like, favoring you that much. And you just started, it was in the second round. And it was like, like, you know how John Jones punches with his elbows?

You kind of punch down a little bit. It was almost like you were smacking him and punching him at the same time. And you would, like, grab his head and just go, boom. Just smack. And it was just amazing. There was a reason behind that, that kind of a downward punch like that. Me being the taller guy, one, two, his style, because he was. really he hunkers down and hides in behind his jabs, right?

So he, you know, he exposes the back, the backside of his head a little bit and looks, you know, over his brow like he's supposed to. And with a little bit of a height advantage, I knew that, you know, punching straight at him would probably deflect off of his, off of his good punching technique. So I wanted to come over the top of it and hit him with the club hammer fist. It was amazing to watch, man. And I know you must be getting the question a lot, like, oh, the four-year-old. But, like, that was a good fight.

It was just a good fight. But I wanted to ask you about, like, your first fight, man. Like, you've been in the UFC for however many years and you've been fighting. Like, do you remember, like, your first wrestling match or first whatever it was? Yeah, my first matches were jiu-jitsu. There were small, you know, this is when, hell, this was 95, 96. I started to do some jiu-jitsu tournaments. I wanted to start competing there first and then migrate.

I will not try to go into M&A really didn't really exist. But so, yeah, I remember that, you know, getting out there. And I did a great job. I won most of my grapple matches I was ever in. And I was self-taught for many years. You were self-taught? I was self-taught in my parents' parents' property in an old shed that measured 13 by 15.

I had old rugs and carpet padding down on the floor with a type of a cart that you might throw over a wood pile to keep dry or something. And that was my training facility with a punching bag in the middle of it and a grappling dummy named Bob and a 19 inch, maybe even smaller, maybe a 13-inch color TV and DCR for my videotapes and a bunch of black belt magazines with a step-by-step grappling moves and whatnot, you know, shit like that. Self-talk, and no other kids on the block, or you had a few kids on the block that would come over?

I didn't have a block. I didn't have a block, Joey. I lived in a, I lived in a stick. I had a road. All right, anybody down the fucking road? Nobody down the fucking road. We had, we had farmers down the road that had shit to do. I had a

cousin I would pick on my girlfriend I mean my sister's boyfriend at the time became one of my first Jiu-Jitsu students he was probably 6 foot, 135 pounds soaking wet skinny so you know he was a body

to use as well so I can I use what I could did what I could How do you feel Mike Pyle? I feel fantastic I feel you know I feel like I really accomplished something great over this weekend of a personal goal of mine that I really wanted to I really wanted to win that fight I took a lot of time and I put a lot of effort and thought into

you know my fight against Sean so you know everything came together everything was everything was just perfect you know and end up getting you know a fight of the night bonus as well so I mean that was just icing on the cake man I feel I feel absolutely great yeah I'm just on top of the world, man. You know, you look good, your movement looks good, your movement is still young. I mean, a couple months ago, what's that guy's name for the one of the sham rocks? Ken? And he's 51 or something.

I could fucking tell he's 50 fucking one. I can fucking tell. His movement looked 51, okay? You're 40, you're still looking like you're 33, you know, you took good care of yourself over the years, which helps. You know, a lot of people would say, oh, well, Mike Powell's 40, maybe. Be he's juicing or whatever the fuck. No, I can just tell you're taking fucking care of yourself, man.

You're taking really good care of yourself. You know, with the new, with the new, with USADA on board, you know, there's no, there's no getting away with anything. You know what I mean? You can't. I've always been a clean fighter. You know, I've never been, you know, on the juice or whatever. You've never seen me in there all ripped up and fucking scary looking because I never did that shit. But, so yeah, now we're all on a good, on a clean slate.

So now I know for sure I'm not fighting anybody on anything. And, you know, and, of course, I'm not on anything. So definitely not using anything. No, no, no, I just said it. Like a lot of guys would go, oh, maybe he's 40. He's, no, no, no, you look great. And I can tell that, no, you look great, man. But it's crazy how I'm 52, and I go to Jiu-Zitsu, and I tell you,

at home, I feel I can't do this shit I used to do at night. And, you know, I can't drink or nothing like that. But I could still work out four or five days a week. Like, I could go to Jitza three days a week and make it work for me now. And maybe one day on the elliptical. And, you know, I started. I'm sure you've seen differences, too. When you first started, you'd probably like, oh, man, what the hell?

But now it's gotten routine for you. It's gotten, it's like your body, want it now. Like you kind of, you kind of calaving it a little bit, right? Yeah, I do.

I tell Lee, I do something every other day now. Every other day, I try to do something. That's the new thing. Not two days on, two days off. I try to do something

heavy duty. Like, I went to that. Body emotion. Yeah, body emotion. I walk here. I walk the baby to school every morning. We pick her up

because it's a little later and it gets a little fucking crazy to walk down those streets. But I know, I know, you know, Saturday for you, not only that, you've been fighting for so long

that you're so experienced. It's like watching Bernard Hopkins towards the end there. Remember he was fighting to his strengths, and then he was still holding back. He wasn't overfighting. He wasn't getting tangled up in fucking stupid exchanges. He was conserving his energy,

and he would only strike when the fucking opening was there. And even with the elbows you were throwing, and they were precise, you know, obviously. They were precise and you were, what is it called? Like saving of economy of motion or economy of, I don't fucking know. I'm not a train and no, I don't know. But I think it's interesting that, Mike, that you started with a jiu-tzu because that's what I've found. I just started a couple months ago and I'm terrible.

But the great jih Tuditsu people are really calm and like they don't, they don't overreact to anything. So it was funny when he hit you, I think it was in like the second or the third round and even I think Brian Stan said you were playing possum but you like as soon as you did it you started giggling which is like a crazy thing to have happened in a UFC fight to like to smile in the ring that like I would be terrified the entire time well what would it happened there is when I stumbled a little bit camera didn't pick it up so I did that I did a little you know oh try to you know hopefully he'd maybe come in hard and I'd lack him with one but he kind of stepped forward real quick and then he smiled like oh no I know what you're doing and that's why I smile I smile

I smiled back at him because he noticed what happened, and then he started smiling. He kind of shook his head at me, like, oh, no, I ain't fallen for that one. Now, how long do you stay off of training for now? Probably, I'll be back in the gym next week. You know, there's not going to be any intensity involved, but I get back in there and maybe work on. Start moving the weights around a little bit,

keeping my old man strength. Some notes again, work on some, you know, I got dropped in that first round, so look at that, see, you know, what happened there a little bit, worked on that. You know, just fix some things a little bit here and there and see, you know, get in there,

get on the mat, roll around, not with any intensity, you know, learn some new stuff. So I'll probably, I'll be back in there. the gym next week probably Monday I'll be back in there doing something well Vinnie hit me back so I will definitely hope to see you Friday morning I'm gonna go to Vinny we can make that happen well I think Vinny see the problem is Friday's is no geet I'm not a no geek guy every time they grab the back of my neck I have a nervous breakdown so I can't have that I'm still a gee guy

I'm an old man Mike wow I got to do the geese and simple passes and you know north outs and shit like that I I move slow like Roger Grace not because I'm methodical because that's all I got you know what I'm saying that's quite okay this Friday or next Friday next Friday at 19th it's funny is it there's a great blue belt in class today and I had like free spot with him and at one time he put his leg down and I put my knee on top of it and he goes oh now you fucking got me he goes Jesus Christ and then I put my other leg on top of it and we both just laughed and I just got off but I don't have much but what I got is that three bills coming at you

Right. So if I get that, you know. You know, it's not about, it's not about all that. And it's about, you get in there, you know, you're bullshit with the guys. You're hanging out. You're learning, you know, and you're giving yourself knowledge every time you go in there. You're learning. You're a martial artist.

That's what it's all about. I'm scared to death. When I was going to kickboxing, that was fine. You know, I could do the rounds and the people would kick me, and I could deal with that. Jesus Christ, my palm, when people get on top of me, I got sleep at me as it is. I can't fucking breathe. I get anxiety. So I just go now and I get on my back on every exercise.

I just force myself through it. So then there's something to work on there. That's what, there's a panic there, learn how to not get all the way completely on your back. Learn how to stay just on your side or something like that. Figure it out. Figure that puzzle out. Make yourself comfortable there. figure it out. That's what it's all about.

It's a self-jury. Everyone was a different purpose for every single person, and you'll figure it out, you know? You're a beautiful man. When you won the other night, I was so happy. My wife was fucking happy. You make me so happy when you fight because I know that you're a blue collar motherfucker.

He's just a blue collar guy like me. You know, and you're scrappy. And you know your number one strength is your fucking heart and your balls. That's it. I don't know about jujitsu or boxing, but your number one strength. You got nothing but heart and balls. I love that, man, about you.

I appreciate that. You know, I think more, a lot more of my approach to a fight really showed, you know, in this last fight and more people talked about, you know, how calm and precise. And, you know, basically my approach. to fight. You know, there's a lot of guys that, you know, that are the Rockham, Sockham Robot, the ones that like to see who can hit each other

are the hardest and fall down. But that's not me. And I think that's why I have a bit of longevity in the sport, too, because I'm harder to hit. My base is I take a different approach to a fight than a lot. You know, I'm not the most exciting fighter in the world, that's for sure. But that's not what I'm going for.

My mind is to out-hit and out-hit. That's what it's all about to me. You keep repeating a word. That's very in. There's my dog. There's my boy. You keep repeating a word. You want, Mama?

Yes, it does. You keep saying the word calm, you know. Calm is calm. It means that you're breathing is amazing. That's all that your calm is. But Mike Pye. You have to slow that shit down because it's crazy enough in there as it is. So if you get, you know, if you're just, in my opinion,

You know, a lot of guys work great under sheer chaos in the fight and hope to catch you in an exchange or something like that. But for me, I like to just slow everything down. I can see everything. My defense is better. You know, I'm not looking to try to put a guy out in the first, you know, minute and a half and be that flashy kind of guy. That's not me. So if you slow it all down, I just feel like that you can make better decisions in there when you need to. So that's just my style.

So that was one of the things they were saying. They said that you are a slow starter sometimes. Would you call it that or would you just call it that you like to study your opponent and you can take a couple hits until you really know how you're going to attack it? Yeah, slow starter just kind of, it just took me and it takes you a little bit to get woken up and find a rhythm, kind of is what that kind of means. and I've worked on that. I've worked on it in the back, meaning I get a lot better warm-up, a more intense warm-up.

A lot of, it's kind of hard to explain, but just a lot more punches and things to wake me up going on in the back now, and just different things to kind of get me awake. Because, yeah, it's true, you know, it takes me a little bit to get going. and some guys have come in and taken advantage of that and really get on me quick, where this kid, or Sean, he did the same,

but game plan was just staying on my wheels. Stay hard to hit and take it into the fight deeper. And that's exactly what we did. And that was good and self-rewarding for myself as well for that night. I learned a lot. And that was one thing I learned about myself that night, too, is I stuck with the game plan, did what I was supposed to. for that first couple minutes, get moving.

But still, I got popped. You know, he dropped me, but wasn't good enough to put me away. Wasn't hard enough, rather. So I was able to maintain, gather myself, and get the job done. Well, you keep saying, and you said that night, you said, like, I'm not that entertaining of a fighter. I just rewatched the fight before the show,

and it wasn't, like, I was entertained the whole time. I was entertaining. It was great. Like, you started off. not that was slow, but it was just like you feeling each other out. And then like the middle of that second round, when you guys were just battling each other was crazy. And then at the end of the third round was amazing.

Like I've never seen a fighter do that, like look for a ref to say, come on, man, stop it. That was interesting. I was giving him a chance because, man, I was hitting a dude really hard, man. Like when I was hitting him with those knees, I mean, I, I mean, it was like his head was going to crack open. So I just look at the ref, like, I'm going to keep, I mean, really? Okay. That's what I'm in there to do, but I feel like he was, he was beaten enough.

Mike Powell. One more strike after that, he stopped it, so he was ready. He was ready to stop me. I love you, Mike Powell, man. I'm happy. I'm going to see you next week for sure. I don't know if you can make it to the show. Oh, send him my love. You know, I love with a debt. She's standing right here and you're on speaker. All right. Tell her I send him my love. How are you, Mrs. Pyle? Hopefully everything's going all right over there. Oh, everybody's happy.

Oh, please. You got the fight a night. Daddy got a big win, got a bonus. Bonus. Forget about it. Everybody's happy. Everybody's happy. Everybody's jumping up and down.

You're like Beyonce at the Super Bowl, jumping up and down. I love you, Mike Powell. I'll see you next Friday for class. You got it. All right. Bring your ghee. You have a ghee. I got a guy, and I got a black belt to go with it.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, now I'm really scared. I might not show up now. I'll see you next Friday. Thank you for calling them. Hi. And congratulations. I love you guys.

Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. You got it. What a sweetheart of a guy, man. I'm really happy for him. I'm really happy for him. Let me give some shoutouts. Real quick.

Number one of my man, Berge and his beautiful wife for dropping off the B-52 album at the house and making my fucking day for my birthday. I'd love you to the death, Bergey, since the day we met

when you were in front of me in the fucking car. I've always loved Bergie. Neal Hardy. Sean Perry, my man J.T. Atlantic Greek, Leon, Constantine Rain, Waterboxer, Ookie, Spooky, my girl, Cleo, Jimmy Christensen. You know who the motherfuckers are, man. I love you guys with all my heart, and I'm happy that you're still part of what we're doing here. What's up with you, fucko? Huh?

I had a good week with my dad. I know you did. That means the world to me that you around him. A lot of people don't know. how important that is that you, I like it. I was torturing you all week that you poisoned them with that shitty food.

I could tell I was pissing you off. You were confused that. Because we would get high every night and you would call me and you'd be like, that place has lizards. I'm like, it doesn't have lizards. They wouldn't still be open,

but have lizards. It's got fucking lizards in there. You're like, do I guess you know got sick over there. Everybody got sick. Chinese people get sick. Chinese people never get sick.

When they get sick, eating Mexican food, you know it's a fucked up place. I just wanted to talk about that today It's a great show From what I've seen The acting is good You know, it keeps me entertained

It's a little Tuesday night thing So it replaces my wife's son Anarchy shit But, you know A whole son's Anarchy was on Tuesday Right And it comes on at 7th So that's why it's just a very interesting series

That at first I was like Why would somebody do this? People don't even remember that shit And I'm like, wait a second I thought it'll leave and I go, Lee was just being born when the shit went down. He doesn't know what happened. All little things are now, the rioting, the earthquake.

I mean, L.A. was just getting bombarded for fucking months. And then this O.J. thing really pushed it over. People didn't know what the fuck to think with this OJ thing. They didn't know what to think. And that day that he got to quit it, that fucked the country up for like a week, man. Because it showed the country that if you put together, like, Okay, he had the dream team for a legal defense. Right.

But he also, it also showed like a guy like me that if you pay for your defense, sometimes the prosecution, I know, I know on my kidnapping thing, the prosecutor, I should have taken that to trial. There's times I think, like, I should have gumbed it out with them. Why? Because I would have fucked them all up.

Because both of those guys' credibility was shit. I had the best, when I got the best credibility in the fucking room, You got a goddamn problem. Yeah, but shit goes down. Shit goes. Like, there's DA's offices all the time that are getting caught. Like, Orange County now is just, like, had to fire all their DAs. Why?

Because they were all corrupt. Like, it was something like there were 90% conviction rate, like, the highest in Orange County. And, like, I don't know. It was a whole bunch of DAs and police. people that got had to get fired because they were corrupt and and probably not doing evidence. I don't know the full story. Well, falsifying evidence and, you know, planting evidence and, you know, not fucking logging in. There's a lot of shit.

Listen, like with John Gotti's defense, the government bid in and they decided they were going to take John Gotti. People talk. People always talk. The only way you and I could do something is if we talk. the only way you and I can make money is if we talk. Right.

But if you listen to those Gotti tapes, something wasn't right. I've always thought, and then I always thought that. I always thought that. I heard the tapes, you know, 10 years later, and I read the thing,

my friend got me the thing and how he was talking about Sammy the Bull and he was talking about all this money. The bottom line is the feds taped him saying all this shit. Okay? You know, they could have got a wiretap later. You know, they had wiretap people. Like, what happens is those people that work for the feds quit,

and now they know how to work the feds. Because they've been in that room when the feds are like, fuck that. Make that kilo instead of we will. Instead of we will, go, make that a kilo. You know, just so we could hear kilo, whatever. Whatever the fuck. Yeah, that's why I was surprised you wanted to take your thing to try. Well, because in Boulder, they weren't dirty as much as white.

See, in Boulder, they weren't dirty as much as white. What's the difference? I wanted to play fucking Big East defense, but I paid $500 or something to see the law clerk, the head of the law school. Okay. When you get in trouble, there's a process. And I was going to go, see, I lucked out because I would have got a quarter. appointed attorney because Tidwell got arrested first and he got a public defender.

So I couldn't get a public defender because that's conflict of interest. So I got a real fucking attorney. So I had the state pay for a real fucking attorney for me. I just had to pick one. You follow me? So I would fire attorneys till I found the one I wanted. The state would have to fucking pick him. Even though I had to pay my attorney money too on the side.

For what? Because I wanted him to do a good fucking jury. You tip your attorney? Why now? $17,000 worth the tips. Over how long? Six months. And he would just go, yep.

And then another $1,500 when I got out. Why? Because the job that he did, Lee. I was looking at nine fucking years. He did what the fucking, he did what the dream team did without the four other guys. That's how smart and white he was.

Did he act? surprised or shocked when you offered him money or he was used to it that's fucking crazy in me I mean I get why you did it take this take this that's what that's called take it I want you know I'm committed to this you're committed I'm committed well fucking committed okay I want you to know he swayed their decision he swayed their uh how can I say it he did something that I didn't think about doing the defense. He was like, I'm going to take away the violence because I looked through every fucking piece of paper that you got.

Every arrest, there's no violence. So I'm going to plant the violence on Tidwell. He goes, watch. That's the first thing I'm going to do because I'm going to get you convicted of a nonviolent crime. He goes, you're going to get convicted about something. When I went to the law clerk at the department, this is what happened.

All right, I got out. Okay. I asked around. I met with a couple shysters. They were just straight up gangsters. Straight up $800 suits, you know, gangster and me, this and this. So what I did was I called Sam DeLuca, the guy in Jersey. That was my mother's attorney.

Okay. He wanted $30,000 just to get on the plane. And I'm like, this is not going to work. But can I ask you something? What if I send you a check just for, and he goes, no, no, no, no. Your mom and me were tight and Juan. and I go, listen, this is what's going on. He goes, do me a favor.

He goes, get a pen. And he goes, call this guy at the University of Colorado Law Department. He runs the department because I'm tight with him. I'll get off the phone with you and I'll call him up. And he knows that system better than me. Call him up and listen to what he has to tell you. He's going to charge you. So I think he charged him like 500 bucks for a one hour fucking sit and chat about what he would do.

And he planned out the defense. for me. And he goes, if you go with an East Coast guy, they're going to give you a thousand years. He goes, I want you to go with a fucking farmer. A guy that looks like a farmer. That's something. Like, he's drafting your, like,

defense. That's crazy. So he told me, you're going to do 90 to 120 days in any, and that's minimum. That's the least you're going to do. Because if I was a judge, I'd give you six months in county. Or I'd send you to prison and reconsidering your sentence, which is what your attorney's going to do.

He goes, they're going to give you something because of the weapon involved. Whether it was your weapon or not, whether your fucking prince weren't on the machine gun or not. That's really only six months? Well, because he wanted to show me a lesson, like a year in county jail is six months. You follow me? No, but I'm saying, I would have thought it would be like a six or seven year sentence. Well, what he was saying was if I pay for the defense, I'll get a long probation like the affluenza kid and short time just to scare me so I behave.

See, that's what happened to the affluenza kid. He had so much money. They just paid those gangsters off and they got him 10 years probation, which is never good if there's no punishment because now the guy's like, I got off, Jack. I do it the fuck I want. No, you didn't get off. You got 10 year fucking probation, stupid.

That means if you get three or four driving fucking tickets and they come up before your probation officer. He could fucking send you back, you know, for like a habitual bad driver or something. They'll find something. Well, that story's fucking crazy. But like, well, you always say, like, if your mom had lived, he would have been a spoiled guy. Worthless. Worthless. Like him, like the affluenza? Worthless. Worthless. Because, okay, yeah, I hustled a little before my mom died, but I hustled with a back door. Like, I always knew. mommy would bail me out. Do you follow them saying to you?

Hustling when you got a bailout and hustling when you're hustling for yourself. It's two different hustles, my friend. Do you work harder when you don't have a bailout, I guess? You work smarter and you play for keeps. It took me 10 years to learn how to play for fucking keeps. I didn't know how to play for keeps. I was just playing the game. I didn't really know what was going on out there.

But once you have a mommy, if you get robbed, Or if you get in trouble, somebody bails you out. When I get in trouble, there was nobody there to bail me out. You follow where it's... Listen, Lee, tomorrow you bet New England Patriots and they lose. And I come to your house and I sit you down. I go, listen, bro, I need 20,000. You lost 33.

I'm not looking for the 33. But I'll tell you what, Lee. I will kick that fucking door down in the office. I will take everything a computer in there. And then I'm going to come looking for you. See, you better give me fucking son. coming by Friday. I want $20,000 by Friday and we'll work out $13,000.

If you got it 12 in the bank, where are you going to get the other 8th from? Mom, brother and dad. First. Yeah, yes, probably. There's always an angle. You always have one, and are you going to pay Mom the $8 grand back if you're still gambling? Are you going to pay, no, no. I never finished it, but the movie The Gambler,

where he's just borrowing hundreds of thousands of dollars from his parents? Oh, my God. Gave you anxiety. I can't even imagine it. Because he always had an out. If I fucking told him, I'm going to break your fucking head. You know, stop fucking gambling, cuck sucker. Then it would have been a different goddamn story.

But once you have an out, like I had a friend that had a grandmother. Every time he lost a gambling, he went through his grandmother. and his grandmother threw him, you know, fucking 10, whatever he fucking. You imagine that? Every time you lose 12, 10,000 you go to your grandmother?

That'd be amazing. Those are the kids I grew up around, and I used to infuriate me. And he would tell her a story, like my grandma, I need 10,000 from my car business. If you give me this 10,000, I'll give you 20 in three weeks. You never pay back your relatives.

Nobody does. You take them as a joke. So you get that free pass. Now you got to pay me off to 13. Jesus. And monthly fucking payments. That's way too much. That's,

I would have too much anxiety to bet on. I would never bet too much. I would never bet more than I had. Oh, that's what you say at first. But then after it sucks you in, after you win a couple thousand, and you're like,

oh, I got, I got this. Then you'll, uh. That's why I'm, I'm so happy I didn't work in Vegas or ever live in Vegas.

You wanted to move there and be a professional? I would. No, no, no, I was going to... Right when I started. I had that in the interview at the UFC and thank God. I would have been back in Boston. I'm very lucky.

Two, three years ago, I started thinking every time I woke up in the morning, but I'm very lucky, Lee. you know, I was in a position during that whole thing that I was going to kill those people. Like, last night I was sitting there, and I tried to explain it to Terry and I stopped because I don't want Terry to even think of me that way, you know, like that I don't want to think that, I don't want to make Terry think that, but I could tell you guys and I could tell you, your family, because this is where I came from.

That was the darkest I ever was. So now. what can I ask a question? Go ahead. When you were talking, when you were, when those guys, the Vietnam guys were telling you how they were going to kill him and leave him, whatever, what are you thinking on the inside? Like that, like, my, it would blow my brain. Like, because you never killed anybody at that point. Like, when people are telling you that, like, how can you even react?

I was so angry, Lee. I was so angry that. It brought up this shit that I was angry about when I was a kid. Like, I was so hurt after my divorce, how she acted over the kid, that I couldn't get over it. Remember what I told you when you can't wrap, you had around something? Your central nervous system breaks down. You walk around fucking confused. Like, I was just walking around.

I don't know till this day how I was doing stand-up or what was coming out of my mouth. because I was just plain fucking angry. Are there any tapes from back then? I don't know. I was just plain fucking angry. I would go to bed angered. I would wake up angered. And then I was adding blow to the thing,

which would make me more angry. And then I would have to tolerate. I would have to see them on Wednesdays and Sundays. And then I would get a bill from the attorney on the 5th, and it would be for thousandsly. I sort of to call the guy and go, I'm going to send you over a thousand tomorrow, a thousand on the fucking 12th,

and then 500 on the 18th, you know. It was just stressful. And would you get stressed out, like the 30th or whatever, just knowing that the fifth is coming up, just knowing that that bill's coming? No. You know, I was getting stressed out about...

What? I'm giving a jerk off $2,000 a month. You're giving that same jerk. You're giving a different jerk off 2,000 a month. And this is 1,500 that could be going into your daughter's pocket and 500 that could be going into my pocket. This is what I was pissed off about. That I was paying all this money to see my fucking daughter every month,

plus child support, plus my cocaine habit, plus trying to fucking survive, you know? All these little things were going on. Plus, this lady's yanking me. Now I'm getting mad and plus I'm frustrated with the comedy because I wasn't moving fast enough. like you're out there every fucking night like I was into this comedy and I'm in there every fucking night

nothing's happening nothing's happening nothing's happening like I'm not HBO's not knocking on my door I'm not the tonight sure is not calling me you know I got 18 of the funniest

you know I don't know what the fuck I was thinking God only fucking knows the only thing I did know that these people were getting closer to being a fucking grave every fucking day and I still remember meeting with them there was this on the hill

there was this taco place under a barbershop on the hill like in a little more right across from the university when you first walk up to the college

up up there and they lived up in Chautau Park or something and I met them both in that Mexican place and I'll never forget

sitting at this table talking to them and it felt like a scene in a movie it felt like a scene in a mafia movie like discussing how somebody was going to die

just you Are you eating? Eating. Eating tacos. And they're just sitting there just. And we're going to do this in the woods. And they're doing this because they're my friends.

There's no money involved. There was no nothing. They were seeing what was going on. And they're like, this is fucked up that this is happening to you. What's she doing with the kid? And I'm like, this is what's happening. And Ed's like, fuck it, let's take this bitch down. So at first, there was a couple different plans.

There was just a plan to scoop her up with that. alcohol and put it over a face and put in the trunk of a car and take up a few miles and we were going to have a cave already fucking set and just start to stab her and make a bleed out a little bit and then tie her up. This was crazy and we giggle, but this is what I was disgusting with two other men in the fucking table. And then Ra wouldn't show up and it'd just be me and Ed. But when Ra would show up, Ra was like, thought, well, let's just shoot her in the fucking

head with a rifle from... dirty yards. Let's see where she lived. I mean, it was just crazy. So you're not involved at all. Go do comedy for a weekend and we'll just shoot her in the fucking head. They weren't just going to do it for you? Shoot her in the fucking head. And then they had another plan to fucking lure

in by where, like to lure the husband first and his Porsche at the time. I mean, they had thousands of ideas, bro. They're the ones that taught me how to put cellophane into a gas tank. And then the cellophane goes around. Your fuel ignition and your car stalls. And that's how they would shoot.

That's what they wanted to do. They were just going to follow them to the car stall. Do a cutback and then shoot them when they were in the car. I mean, they had thousands of ideas. And I'm sitting there going. So now what happens? I go on the road. I come back.

She's dead. I got to go to a fucking funeral. Cops are going to be all over me. You know, I got no bank account. I got nothing. I got no money. so it's not like I hired a hit. So what the fuck?

Who's going to crack and wrap me out first? Because that's what happens. If you're going to ice somebody, you got to do it by yourself. And no witnesses, and you've got to have it planned out to the fucking tee. You know? And that's the thing. In that O.J. trial, there was one piece they were looking for, the murder weapon and the close.

Whatever happened to that. And the word on the street was he gave it to Kardashian. Fuck. And Kardashian. dispose of it. And he died of cancer. The black attorney died of cancer. The other attorney died of cancer.

It's really weird what happened in that whole thing and how it turned out. Do you believe in that? If you do something bad like that, like later on... I've lived it. It's not that I believe in it. It's like I've lived it, Lee. I've done bad shit. And as bad shit's being done to me,

that thing I did is popped up in my mind. Popped up in my fucking mind. And you're like, God damn it. God damn it. Do you think it's absolved after that then? Yeah, probably is. That certain thing is forgiven. It's happened to me a ton.

Like, well, I'll be sitting there going, holy shit, you know, I did this. And now I don't do nothing, you know, so you could feel it. When you're not doing bad things, bad things aren't happening to you. Listen, life is peaking valleys, and bad things are going to happen, and good things are going to happen. But sometimes we create those bad things. You know, you create a DUI.

Right? Nobody creates a D. Life doesn't create a fucking D-U-I. You create a Coke possession. You create a Coke problem. You create an arrest for burglary. You create an arrest for kidnapping. These are the things we create.

A flat tire. It's not your fault, but... The road is closed. The 101, you can't get to work because there's an off spell. You lost $55 for the day. You know when you really need to be? money, that you'll go to work, even if it's fucking, the end of the world, you'll go to work. You know those days when an oil spill comes, and it's a day you've got to pick up your check

and you missed a day of work. Do you know what I'm saying? These little things are just life things. You go to the airport and your plane's delayed four hours. That happens. That happens. I could curse and call Lee and call American Airlines a cunt on Twitter. All I want.

It doesn't matter. The plane's going to be fucking delayed. But you think life ever... But you getting into the car accident and they take your prints at the hospital and you murdered your wife 30 years early and you're on the run, that's karma. Yeah, that's fucked up. You know, you're putting 30 pounds of weed under your hotel bed and you don't put the not disturb on your thing. And the maid comes in and sees 30 pounds and she calls the cops and the cops wait for you. You did something to somebody.

or just you muckering in that business. You just deserve what you get. What are you going to blame it on? You can blame it on everybody. When you go to fucking big wings, and you watch your game and you eat 60 wings and 15 fucking bees. Right. And you get in your car.

What's going to happen if you get pulled over? You're going to get a DUI and you're going to go to jail and pay 10 grand. And who creates that? Oh, yeah, that's totally your fault. I mean, but, I mean, you said before that the biggest problem. you had was you wouldn't claim responsibility. I'm sure you said everyone in prison, everyone thinks or says they're innocent. So, I mean, people, even though it is obviously their fault, people love making excuses.

Oh, yeah. Especially now. See, this is why I don't give attention to those shows where people get framed. Why? Because now everybody gets framed. Now for the next six years, I'm going to see 18 fucking documentaries. I know everybody was fucking framed. And I get it.

It's my biggest fear. It's everybody's biggest fear. Can you imagine me going to a driver's license? And also you put your fingerprint down. They take your picture. And also three cop cars come in. They need to talk to you. You were involved in a murder.

Three years ago, a pedestrian. You left the phone. What are you fucking talking about? Did you live in Boston? And you're like, yeah. You hit somebody one night with a car or something like that. They found a piece of evidence. You had a Coke bottle and you threw it by out of the car.

window and somebody gets hit by a car and a coke bottles you know what I'm saying Lee you never fucking Lee you never fucking know my friend it's terrifying you never fucking know it's been 18 years in prison can you imagine how what you're feeling inside if you're not fucking guilty of what you did and and the crazy thing is people get offered deals a lot and they'll say oh I'm not going to take the deal because I'm not guilty like they could have been out of prison already if they had taken a deal but because they want to say they're innocent. Would you take a deal if you were innocent or something and they made you sign a piece of paper?

I heard a story about a friend of mine in Colorado. He's got a kid. A kid was fucking 15, 14. He found a porno and he showed it to his cousin. And his cousin went home and told the dad. And the cops came and arrested that kid. And they had no attorney in the room and they made him sign something.

And the kid ended up going to a fucking home. And claiming guilty to one of those sex things where now he has to move into a neighborhood and tell him the thing. I told him to send me the letter. He sent me the letter. It's horrifying. It's called sexual with a young kid or something.

Where you have a playboy and I have a playboy. It was fucking something I had never heard before, Lee. But again, this kid didn't have an attorney. You didn't call his father because he was scared. I can see how that would happen. You follow me? So there's a lot of loopholes. There's so many fucking things.

But I mean... Can you fucking imagine Lee? You show me a Playboy magazine with 14. Do you know how many fucking kids showed me Playboy magazines and pictures of women getting fucked in the ass and black and white pictures of women that you would buy in New York City? You know, the Ali brothers, Those kids I always talk about with Louis Alvar from McKinley School where I grew up.

Those kids were in eighth grade, seventh grade, they were going to the Bronx and getting their dick sucked on Saturdays with 15 fucking bucks. And they would tell us all about how the chick would wash their dick in a bucket and all this shit. These people had hours of pornography. They had fucking, you know, they had fucking tons of pictures, like real pictures. Like, your dad would take pictures of a chick on Fridays. I'm on the corners. Fuck, that's crazy. Crazy.

I was just going to say that maybe it's because now it's digital. Like, you always hear how some teachers will get caught in a school and they have child porn. I was going to think maybe back then it was just stories. But if they're selling physical pictures, that's fucking great. Listen, dog, I'm going to tell you something. As fucking worldly as I think I am and worldly as you may think I am. I never knew child porn existed until 20 to 25 years ago. I was a grown man.

I got sick to my stomach. I never knew child porn existed. How could you? I read an article in a lot of People magazine, one of those New Yorker magazines on a flight about, and I didn't know what it existed. I didn't know any fucking idea what people paid for. And the Internet has really spawned it to different levels, but it had to be there.

That market was there. When I was growing up, I mean, nobody took a, no coach ever took a picture of me, whacking off with a bikini on and a football helmet on and sold them for $5. But somebody had to be doing creepy shit like that, you know? It's scary to think about that. To think of, this huge, there's a huge market. And I'm not, you're never sure now if it's a joke article, but I saw an article that there, they have a doll in Japan. That's like a, one of those sex dolls, but it's for pedophiles. so it's like a little kid.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about anymore. I'm stoned and all this fucking killing talk. But yeah, that's what really happened. I have a good question for you. Hit me. How can you whenever, like, just a weed dealer? I could see you having a fucking fun time being just like a weed dealer,

listening to music. How can we never did that? I sold weed when I was younger. But after cocaine came, It was the difference between me walking around with a fucking bag, like the one I walk around in, or me walking around with nothing in my hands and just a pound of Coke in my pocket. In little 20s, I'm exaggerating a pound of cup. No, but why don't I just have like a little apartment?

I'm like having, no. It's a lot of exposure for the amount of dough in contrast to cocaine at the time. And I really like doing blowing. I like doing it for free. So that's what worked out. But the moral of this fucking story is, man, that I watched that OJ and I see what, how stupid I was for a few weeks

and how just my conversation is going to become a reality. And I wouldn't be here with you right now. I'd be doing life for murder, for fucking premeditated murder. I don't know how I shook that, man. But I remember that once all that shit went down in court, We were really adamant about it. Like, we were like, how are we going to do?

And at this point, they were like, fuck it. When are you going on the road? And I kept saying pretty fucking soon. And they're like, okay, let us know, like, her routing and we'll shoot her. Like, with a high power rifle. We'll fucking just take her out. Were they going to shoot the husband, too? I don't know.

They were like, we'll shoot who's ever in the fucking car. I mean, it was fucking crazy. And I was having these kinds. We met a couple times, and then I would always meet Ed. Ed was my Gumbah. I met at all the time by Mo's Bagels and North Hollywood. He would come down from those hills, and we'd meet over by that bagel shop. There was a supermarket over there.

I don't know what it is now. There was a little liquor store, so I would always buy Ed of beer, and we'd just chit-chat outside, you know? It really hurt having those conversations. And the big part of me really wanted a fucking icer at the time, man. But you know what, man, I'm lucky that I am a pussy. I'm lucky that I didn't go through with it. I'm lucky. Thank God.

I just know. You know what made me think about it? I go, what the fuck am I thinking? I would make that little girl a fucking orphan. Orphan like I was. At that point, I wasn't about to be a parent. There was no fucking way. And nobody was going to let me be a parent.

Her parents would definitely get out. Listen. Eventually, I would have gone to jail. No matter how clean I was, I could have been on the fucking moon on TV, and that would have got back to me. Because those guys were just crazy. Those guys were crazy. And I'm sure the other guy was doing hits for somebody on the side or something.

They were fucking crazy. It's amazing how one decision could have just changed your life. Changed my life. With the anger. Just because, yeah. I had hatred. I fucking. I had so many fucking feelings going through me,

and I just wanted to fucking, I can't even... What? Nothing was just a little planes. Is it a plane? Or is it the end of the fucking world up there? I don't know. It's like motorcycles and sons of anarchy. Anyway, it was just watching that OJ thing brings me back to that time.

That's it. That's all I wanted to talk about today. How lucky I am, and I'm here doing a podcast with you. because right now I could have been doing a podcast and fucking behind the fucking walls of sing-singer some shit with fucking motorcycle mania out here next to me over here and that's it that's fucking where we end it motherfucker

I'm good to go I said what I had to say next week I'm gonna be fucking 53 I hope you join me at the South Point I don't give a fuck if he do it don't Lee's gonna be there Esther Coos gonna be there Larry Anderson's gonna be there

You know, the dudes with the best fucking weed in town are going to fucking be there. They were on vice. I mean, you know, my man, the death stars might show up. We got some shit cracker Lacking in Vegas Friday and Saturday night. Then the Wednesday after that of your local, I really need you. I need you in the main room at the comedy store February 24th, guys. I need you in there to support. I got Netflix coming out.

I got a couple people coming out. I got to let them know that you guys want me to have a special. This is it. I don't even know what fucking material I'm doing that night or whatever. But that's it. I love you, motherfuckers. I'm happy that my man, Mike Powell called in. That was great.

Yeah, it was just a different kind of week. We're finally settling into the office. I feel a little bit more comfortable, guys. So thank you for taking the ride. Another Raycanella podcast was weird. And there was another one there that was weird. But please, you know, we've been doing this for four years. I always knew we'd fucking come up on top cock suckers.

We got Lee Syattna home. You always got to have a Jew around. And that's it, motherfucker. I want to give a shout out to Onit.onit.com for all the great supplements they have, especially their flagship, Alpha Brain, which is my backbone. You understand me? If you see them a little botts and fucked up and going off tune, it's because I haven't had my fucking alpha brain. I'm a big hemforce guy. I'm a big shroom tech guy, whether it's a sport or the immune.

I listen, I just believe in fucking Onet. So do me a favor. Go to Onet.com right now and press in. Church. Church. and get 10% off your first order, delivered to your door. We ain't fucking around, all right?

I also want to give out shoutouts to ring, naturebox.com, Club W. Yeah, Blue Apron. Blue Apron. All our sponsors, me undies during the week. You know, we love you motherfuckers too.

And thank for you guys to listen to the podcast this week. We'll be back Monday night and Wednesday night next week. Okay, so there you have it. And if you want the last, a bit of Dickie Salli. I had him on my life in neutral with Johnny Rock yesterday. He was all fucked up yesterday too. All right, I love you guys. Stay black.

Have a great weekend. Be safe. I love you, motherfuckers.