The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #365 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Cassius Morris

Episode Date: March 24, 2016

Cassius Morris, 17 year old host of the Cassius Morris show podcast and photographer joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt via Skype. This podcast is brought to you by: Tracker - Go to Thetracker.com and use code word "church" for 40% off of your first Tracker Product.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.   Recorded live on 03/23/2016.
  

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Show is also brought to you by The Wonderful People at NatureBox. Say goodbye to weird and mystery ingredients. and start snacking confidently with NatureBox. They have delicious snacks. They're very nutritious. They're delicious. Go to naturebox.com slash Joey to get 50% off of your first box now. That's right. Go to naturebox.com slash Joey to get half off.

That's 50% off of your first box now. Show is also brought to you by Onit.com. Use code word church to get 10% off all of their great optimization products like Alphal Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech, Immune and TromTech Sport. Use Code Word Church to get 10% off. Old school cocksuckers. Kick that motherfucker lead. Kick this horse.

Kick it, Lee. Kick it. This goes back to 1971. Aretha motherfucking Franklin. Cocksuckers. Here we go. Here we go. Oh shit.

Oh shit. Listen to Aretha motherfuckers. Zero fucks. You fucking kidding me? This is when black people were fucking black people. Listen to those fucking horns. They don't give a fuck. They're fucking white.

Everything. It's over. The church of what's happening now, Wednesday, the 23rd of March. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's myself and my main motherfucker Lee Syatt. In the house. Cute little blue fucking shirt on. I got to look cute for you all the time.

Smoking and shit. Look at you. All you need is a little. penguin on your shirt. I can never, I never had like the actual polo shirts. So what is, they made a line in there that I thought of your nature box.

Are you sick and tired of mystery fucking ingredients? That's Lee's favorite fucking line. I can't win, he loves mystery ingredients. Even when I'm trying to be good. So it's like today for lunch, I was like, okay,

I don't have, I tried to do meal prep. I bought like enough food for three days, but I didn't have time to go to the store. That's like, okay, I'll go to Denny's and I'll get a salad before I go to work. I was there for 20 minutes.

It was a $10 salad, and they finally brought it out, and it looked like... Well, you need to go? You have to go out? No, I don't eat to stay at Denny's. What kind of salad did you get? I got a grilled chicken salad. That's all I got. And it looked like the homeless guy who was begging for money.

It was his salad. It was brown. It wasn't even, like, put together at all. It was just like they just threw lettuce and a little bit of avocado and chicken and whatever else in the bowl. And I was about to turn around and just eat it. and like, you know, when you have a lunch and you're just disappointed and it's just crappy and just pissed off. But I was like, no. I turned around.

I was like, hey, this is a $10 salad. I don't want any of this. So they gave me a refund and I walked over to the Mexican place across the street and I got a grilled chicken plate with some beans and rice. I know the rice isn't that great. How was it? delicious. But the thing that they have over there that you turned me on to in Hollywood, that juice place, they have over there. So I had something with like orange, strawberry, papaya. fucking honey, yogurt.

It was delicious. I almost went to the juice place. You should. Oh, it's so good. I almost went to the juice place in Hollywood. Whenever I go give a blood test, that's my reward. Oh, yeah, you have to. I go to the juice place, and I get a chicken salad on wheat with the fucking avocado.

Delicious there, the nutrient. I've been going to that fucking place for 20 years, you know that. They started out on Vine. No, yes, they started out on fucking Vine, in a little parking lot. It was like the valet shack for a parking lot. line, that's what they started. Did they even have a place to sit down? No.

They had tables outside, like little boots outside. I love that. You parked. It had no ambiance, but it did have ambiance. What gave it ambiance was that it didn't have ambiance. Right. They were all Spanish women. They made four or five sandwiches then and 20 million juices.

And I'd go in there for the honey, milk, and strawberry. They have so many, the pink cloud. Oh, okay. Strawberry milk and a day. Ash or Honey, they have a lot of different juices there. She goes back to the holidays for a month. The two girls have been running that store for 20 years. They're the same employees, same chick, same owner.

It's a phenomenal place. When they started building the mall on Vine, on whatever that fucking street is, on there, they had a move. And they were forced to move. So what they did was they put up signs saying that we're getting forced to move. They're giving us a settlement. We'd like to find a place close by. and like 20 places reached out.

They gave them like a good rent just to have them in there because it's been a neighborhood staple. For 20 years. That's amazing. They were probably there 10 years before I got there. And I've been going there for 20. I've been going there for 19. So I discovered them like the third day in fucking Hollywood.

And it's crazy. In Hollywood, it seems like a lot of places raise their prices just because it's so expensive to be here. A juice is $4. It's $8.50 for the same. sandwich and the fucking juice. They have a lunchtime special on a bag of chips. I never get the chips.

Because I'm full from the chicken salad on home grain with the fucking fresh avocado. And the juice, by the way, they always give you the whole picture. They give you the whole blend, okay? So you have two fucking things. These are real people. These aren't these fucking Gentile, corporate, and they cut the fruit in front of you. You see them. This isn't like fucking, you know, those frozen things that,

Jamba juice, whatever the fuck that is, that nuclear flute, that you think you're eating healthy and it's just fucking sugar. Do you ever do the, like, the Mexican fruit stands on the side of the road where they cut it up? Always. Always. I go in and I get the fruit, but you can't let them put the chilies and the other shit. I tell them not to put it in.

I don't like the white stuff. But if you're in a bind and you're driving around L.A. and you're hungry just to hold you over a bag of fruit in those things for $4 and they chop it up for you and it's all fresh. I had them do because, like, they do mango? Because they do mango. It's fucking delicious. But they have like lime juice and all the pepper and stuff that I don't like.

So I had them do orange and pineapple. I just had that. I just had that. I just eating that. That was delicious. People say, you know, it's got the fruit, the sugar.

You know what? Man, I lost a lot of fucking awaiting fruit. So whatever, whatever, you know what I'm saying? But I'm happy. It's better than men.

The last fucking nine days have been debt. Like, it went from being super busy guys. I don't know. See, a lot of people, I have to describe what we go through sometimes. It went from me leaving.

the house. You remember, like every day for two weeks to lift the house at 9, 8.30, 7.15 to go to a 10 o'clock meeting, because you got to leave two hours early in the morning. Yeah, at least. I usually do is I have like a protein shake. I get in the car and I get the fuck out of Dodge. I get over the hill. I get down there and I eat breakfast and then I go to my meetings. So, you know what I'm saying?

Like I have, but next week I have meetings at 4 and shit like that. The last nine days have been debt. So I've been writing, but no comedy writing. But I do little things. You know what I'm saying? Like I sent my first fucking thing to Gordon. So at least I got one of the chapters out of the way, which I've been going over.

Now I'm writing the intro to the fucking book. So little by little, we're putting this book together. Now it's coming together. I don't have a lot of dates in the summer. A lot of people mad at me because I'm not going on a lot of places I usually go. I had to cut my schedule in half this year, guys, because I have a lot of things going on here. Plus, I wanted to keep working on the podcast. We've got the new studio.

So please understand me that these come around. Once 2,017, I will do all those cities I'm not doing this year, whether it's Minneapolis or Utah or... It'll be a better show, too. Don't you think it'll be a better show? Listen, man, I hate what they do because they want to book every 12 to 11 months. I can't write that fast. And lately it's been like, you know, you're going to fucking writing slums.

And what happens is it's like being a salesman, okay? And when you're a salesman, I come talk to late. All right. So if I talk to 10 people, okay and I'm selling vacuums okay okay one person might buy that day but three people are gonna buy but they gotta talk to the significant other or they're waiting for a check or they're waiting for the tax return or they you know what I'm saying so you make these sales now you just follow up with them tell them about your deals and your specials the same thing happens

when you write comedy you have 15 or 16 things you're thrown out there, you know, and you wait till one of them bites, and then you're right following them. And meanwhile, you're still trying different bits, and shit's not working, so you're just getting rid of stuff. And then you visit it again in some night, it's a Thursday night, I just get to town, let me visit it again. And if it doesn't work in front of a real crowd, I get the fuck rid of it.

Lately, I've been getting rid of everything. So eventually, I'm going to get three bits I'm going to bite into it, and then I build an hour, And then it becomes excitement again. You said for the last two weeks you haven't really been doing any comedy writing. Are you actively not doing that, or do you not have anything you want to write writing? No, I've been not comedy writing and the sense of taking a joke and writing it out. Okay. Comedy writing in the sense of getting up at five like I did today before I had to leave at seven and writing for two hours.

Just a little nuts. And this morning I got some good shit. You know, I'm trying to get stuff that's personal to me. When I talk about topical shit, I don't like it no more. I rather talk about personal shit to me and how I learn the thing for. them and we all laugh. So that's what I'm trying to put together. So you just have little fires,

and all of a sudden one of them really catches fire, and one of another catches fire, and all of a sudden you go from having nothing to having 40 minutes. And now you elaborate it on more, you put it out there on the road, and it grows into something. Okay, that's interesting. So that's what usually happened.

Right. It's just, you just keep putting stuff out there. And all of a sudden, one catches a bigger fire than the other one. The other one's good, but not what you think. would be and then you twist it around and you bring it out there again and that's why I try to go to flappers in the comedy store and then in the in the flaha when I'm home just the last night I fucking passed the fuck out so yeah you didn't get oh my God I was wiped out yesterday is it because you like sometimes we'll go to a show and you'll tell me after that oh I didn't

think that was that great even though from me sitting in the back you were getting laughs and it seemed like it was going well so when you say like if something works or doesn't work Is it based of just what you think? Because you can get laughs and think you have a terrible set. I know. I know what I'm listening for. I know exactly what I'm listening for. Is it the sound of the laugh?

It's something about the laugh. It's a weird laugh. It's got to be a little shocking and they're laughing at it because it happened to that. I love that kind of. Like that's why a lot of specials are so disappointing for me is because I'll have a laugh. I'll giggle. But there's like there's one I just showed Paula. It's, I think it's Bill Burr's first or second.

It's the orange one in the background. Hilarious. Where it's just you don't stop. You don't stop. Like hysterically laughing. Hysterical. It's like a machine gun. Yep.

And that's what I like so much about your sets and comics. But it's just even though you do stories, that's why I like the store sometimes. And you're like the one person that I enjoy the store for. Because otherwise I prefer an hour. And I still like you for an hour. But there's something about, because with 20 minutes, you usually just go crazy. I go crazy. I go crazy.

I look at listen if I do 45 minutes out I have a stroke the next day you guys are you really you can't do it not like that for 40s not to stay on them and stay on top of them like that that's tough the store because I got my ass kick so much in there I learned that when you go up at the store you got to go up with both guns so that's where that comes from like my fear

fear is a fucking do you know that at 53 this morning I was stalling to drawling to drive down there to draw blood. Like I kept talking to my mom. I was like, don't you have to leave? Is this the same appointment that you've had for like two months? Yeah. For six weeks. Every week

you were like, oh, I can have to be a drop. And once I get in there, it's cool. Like, he's fucking cool as shit. We talk. He talks to me. He told me to stop at the airport in Chicago. Where to go and get a fucking hot beef sandwich at this is a good one at the airport in Chicago. Your doctor's telling you where to get a hot

beef sandwich? Oh yeah. He's a big motherfucker. He's a badass Dude and then you know I went down there whenever I get blood taken out There's little obstacles I put in front of myself every week. Okay, so I have a notebook and I have Monday through Sunday And then I have my schedule, but on the upper right-hand side in that little corner that little box I have my obstacles for the week Shit that I fucking hate doing what I got to do like sitting down and writing like going and giving blood like calling somebody who owes me money. All that type of shit goes in that box in the top. How many boxes do you have on your book, in your notebook?

Like, each page. Like, how many little sections do you have? I have just a section of Monday through Friday. Okay. And then, like, the first thing on the goal sheet is right two hours a day. And then you'll have any appointments from 9 to 12 early. And then usually I just put BJJ at 12 o'clock. Just because if there ain't nothing going on, I'm going to BJJ.

and then I usually have a 1 o'clock or a 3.30 phone call, and then I'll put 8 o'clock to podcast, 10.30 comedy store. Anything that has a comedy thing, I put an asterisk next to the day. Why? What did the asterisk? Because when I wake up in the morning, I want to remember I'm doing a set that night. I'm getting old. So that means I have a set. So at the end, it'll be I can count how many sets I have.

And then on the upper right-hand side, right there. In every notebook, there's a little box. And the letters there. Sometimes you put, I put the calls I have to make, but now what I'm doing is I'm putting the calls to the day. So I don't fuck around. I used to put calls and just go, I got to call Lee, I got to call Sarah, I got to call Marty, I got to call Jimmy,

I got to call T, I got to call me, I got to call Johnny. No, no, no, no. Now I put it under the day, I'm calling them. So there's no misunderstandings. You have a phone call schedule? I have a phone call schedule. So you have to even have a fucking phone call schedule. I'm a comic, but I'm a salesman,

and I'm representing myself because, this is the only way to fucking do it. You know, Cassius Morris is calling in today. Right. And there's nobody in this planet I admire more than this young man. Because what he's doing at his age, people who listen to the podcast, I'm not here to insult nobody. Ain't nobody doing dick like this fucking young man.

And he's been doing it for, like, I think, six years. Okay. And he's getting the education of a fucking lifetime. He's getting lifetime education before he's 18 years old. and I was telling my agent the other day because it's NTAA time. Right, in March Venice. Okay, I don't know if I ever told you guys this.

Let me tell you how crazy I've been all my life. Okay. So I got involved in basketball at the age of seventh grade, sixth grade. I was fucking horrifically bad. The first time I did seventh grade basketball, we went 0 and 9. I was terrible, terrible, terrible. And I was so embarrassed from seeing so bad.

And from getting left back in the seventh grade, that besides karate, I dedicated myself to basketball. And I wanted to turn that program around. So the second seventh grade year, we went like four and three, all right, my dummy year when I made my comeback. That's what I was laughing when I can. I know. I don't give a fuck. Hey, I'm a fucking moron. It happens and you accept it for what it is.

Hey, you were getting pussy in seventh grade. I didn't get pussy. I was dry humping her. That's what's sad. I got left back all the fucking dry hump and a bitch to a pair of fucking pants. That's what's embarrassing. We're all fucking jerkoffs. I'm the king of the fucking jerkers of the best at that age.

So I get left back. Now that year, I go four and three. But I get, I fall in love with fucking basketball. Right? So they tell me to get really good. You have to concentrate your training and go to basketball camps. Okay. So one of the first basketball camps I go to is Willis Reed.

Excuse me. And when I go to Willis Reed basketball camp, I meet a coach there. I forget what it's fucking name. name was. He was from like a high school. How old are you? So you were in the seventh grade still? He was in the seventh grade going into the eighth grade. When I cough, why do you close your eyes? Do you think I'm going your eyeballs or something? What's wrong?

I didn't even know I did that. So I meet this guy and he's telling me all this things that when you go to camps, you have to be ready because college coaches come and they give seminars and they talk to people. But in reality, I always knew that if you're under a junior in college, they can't talk at a high school. They can't talk to you. It's against NCAA violations for a coach to talk to you if you're a junior and under. Oh, shit. Even though you're fucking killing in the eighth grade. I can't really say much.

I come up to you and say, good game. You have a future son, you know what I'm saying, and keep you in mind. But I can't come and start fucking recruiting you. That's against NCAA. We can't even talk about recruitment about going to your school or nothing. That's crazy.

I didn't know that. So at my second basketball camp, which was Boo's basketball camp. I met a coach by the name of Tom Penders. I forget where the fuck he was then. Now I think he's in Texas, or he may have retired. But Tom Penders, I became a pen pal with.

I would humiliate him. I would write him letters until he turned purple. Come see me. I'm tearing it up in the eighth grade. I wasn't doing dick. You know what I'm saying? But in my mind, I was Johnny fucking United's. But I started doing this to every coach.

Every time I go to a camp, I get coaches fucking whatever, and I start sending him propaganda, whether it was Bill Foster from Duke at the time, where it was the guy from North Carolina. So take us through a letter. Like, what would the letter sound like? Good morning, coach. I hope you're having a great day.

My name is Joey Diaz. I'm an eighth grader from North Berger, New Jersey, and basketball is my life. I just want to tell you, I admire your fucking team. I think he got screwed when you played against Mississippi in the finals. You personalize it? Oh, fuck, yeah. You know, they ain't going to give me no love. I admire to be like this player or this player on your team.

I want to know what your workout was. And if you send me a workout, I don't want you to know I'm going to do it every fucking day until I turn purple. And two years from now, I'll be writing you another letter to come look at one of the best players in New Jersey. Thank you for your time, sincerely, Jose Diaz. And I'd write my address, and within a week and a half, I get a fucking package from that college

with all their basketball drills. Who told you to do this? Just one coach. Tom Penders. He told you to do it. So I started sending it. So the coach from Duke now, Krasuski, I know that motherfuckers since he was an army.

In 78, Jack. That's how long I used to write that Motherfucker letters. In fact, when they played in Denver, 91 or something with Little Hurley, I went to the fucking game and he gave me a hug. He still remember me, Kujeski. This is fucking crazy. We have to go and see when he's... Are you fucking kidding me, dog?

I knew all those dudes because I wrote them letters until the mailman wouldn't deliver him no more. I didn't give a fuck when I was a kid. I was a savage. So me being a comic, never developed at a young age. Me wanted to do TV. Never was a young age. Me being a salesman savage was me at a young age.

Like, I already had that savvy mind that you had to reach out to people and let them know what the fuck was crackle-lacketing. Jesus. And then, so how many packets did you get, like 10 or 12? I would send them once I sent them to college coaches that I knew. Then I just started sending them to fucking college coaches everywhere. From UCLA to USC, any basketball program I had watched on top. television, North Carolina State, North Carolina, Charlotte, University of New Mexico, was a great college then.

They had Cheese Johnson, who covered fucking Larry Bird in college and shit. He was one of my counselors in camp. You know, I just wrote letters to colleges. And would you do this with, like, your friends, or were you doing it by yourself? By myself. At night. Where? In my court?

No, I was doing it in my fucking bedroom. Oh, so it was, like, actual work out? It wasn't like a drill for business. Oh, where was I doing? the drills. Yeah, yeah. At both places, I was doing, because they had drills that you did. Some drills I did on the basketball court, like layup drills and shooting drills and sprint drills and defense drills. But some drills I did at home, which was just like sit-ups or push-ups or jumping as high as I could for 30 minutes or sitting against the wall with a chair to get my

defensive legs and whatever to get your legs strong. I did everything I fucking could, man. What would be worse for you, do you think? Taking away, Comedy now or taking away basketball then? Oh, it was two different things because I make a living from comedy. Okay, that's true. But it just seems like you were like... Taking basketball away from me then was one of the biggest disappointments of my life. I never really recovered from that.

I could tell because when I watch basketball, I still get kind of emotional, especially NCAA ball. I told you what happened yon night when the NCAA came on and I was watching this. My wife was sitting there. And my daughter was in the kitchen. And I was like, you know, I wish that she gets it at an early age. I wish that she got it like I got it. But I wish that she got, to me, being a professional basketball player is great.

And being a professional football player is great. But Jesus Christ, nothing gets my dick harder than the NCAA championship in any sport. Because you're playing for you. I mean, yeah, after a while you're playing to get drafted. But when you talked, like, you ever watch the 30 for 30 with the NCAA guys from North Carolina State and they all get together for a drink? Oh, no, I never got into college basketball, but it sounds great.

College basketball, college athletics, man, is something. And now they're trying to tax and all this shit. But you've got to understand the entertainment that brought to people. And it brings to me, it gave me something. It gave me a belief. It gave me a belief that I could do something good enough and get a scholarship to go to one of these colleges. That's the bottom fucking line.

If you really want to go to college and you want a fucking scholarship, you know, there's things you have to do, whether you want to be a football player or a basketball player or whatever. When I saw Mike O'Coren, Michael Coran was a kid from Jersey City who was an Irish kid

who went to a school called Hudson Catholic and he was six foot seven and he was six foot seven and he was white and he was poor. He never had a father and he had a mother who worked at a diner to support him and like in the eighth of his freshman year he hurt his knee and he had to wear a bracelet, a brace in high school and he would play

basketball, basketball, basketball, and the braces he played so much basketball through the braces started going into his skin. But it didn't matter. He took Hudson Catholic to a fucking final. The finals, him and the kid named Jimmy Spanarkle. Jimmy Spanarkle ended up going to Duke. And this motherfucker ended up going North Carolina.

Oh, no way. Okay, so way before the Hurley's from Jersey City went to Duke, the kids who opened up that connection was a kid by the name of Jimmy Spanarkle from Hudson Catholic. Now, in Jersey City, you had powerhouses. Hudson Catholic and St. Anthony's. St. Anthony's is the one you see every year. in high school, Bobby Hurley,

pop, pop, pap, pap, pa. You know, Bobby Hurley and Frankie Edgar, the same person. If you know anything, they both hustle. They both fucking died for what they did. It's amazing. So, what the fuck are we talking about here? College basketball. So I'm saying, to me, one of the greatest things,

one of the first things I ever saw that let me know I could do something with my life was on a Monday night, An NCAA finals and Marquette played North Carolina. And in that, in that bracket, in that bracket, something happened to one of the forwards from North Carolina

and Michael Corrin had to fill in. In the final four, my friend, which is one of the biggest platforms in the United States, year after year. Yeah, it has to be one of the biggest sporting events. This white motherfucker, Irish kid, from Jersey City scored 31 points

as a freshman. But not only that, the guy who was covering him was Glenn Gondrazac who went on to play for the New York Knicks, a white dude, six foot four forward,

who always had a cover like Julius Irving and shit like this. This guy was a defensive white savage from Boulder. Years later, he tried to shoot himself in the heart with a 22.

That's a complete different story. Jesus crazy. And he missed. How the fuck you've been playing basketball for 20 years, sinking 20 footers? And all of a sudden, you try to shoot yourself in the heart with a 22 and you miss. What the fuck?

What the fuck goes on here? You know what I'm saying? But to make a long story short, this white Irish motherfucker scored 30-something points. As a replacement? As a freshman. As a freshman. Well, here's what gets better. I'm sitting there on a Monday night to see what happens.

It's Jerry McGuire's last game as a coach for Marquette. And North Carolina has to play him. Look it up. Okay. North Carolina, Marquette. What was the final score? What year was it? Fuck, it's got to be 77, 76.

Sorry about this guy's. My allergies are on fire today. I'm dealing with shit. You know, I had to go to, I'm going to doctor Monday at 245 for the nose doctor to figure out if this is allergies. Do I need the surgery? It's the fucking aphrine. You know, the affron's fucking me up completely. I think the whole game is on YouTube.

I know it is. If you want, click on the game, but give me the sport. The score? You want the box score? Yeah, the box score was what? Okay. So it was 6759 Marquette won. Marquette won because the coaches, it was the coach's last game and they won for him.

Great team, Jerome Whitehead, Bouch Lee, fucking bad motherfuckers out of Marquette. And they play against North Carolina and they beat North Carolina. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter to me. Something happened to me that let me know as a human. being at that age. What year was that? 77. At the age of fucking

14. Something happened that night that let me know that I could do something in my life when they said, and I'm starting forward for North Carolina. Okay? Starting forward for North Carolina

Mike O'Cornan from Jersey City, New Jersey. No, they said starting forward from North Carolina from Jersey City Michael Corrin I can't tell you I can't tell you I can't tell you

I was just overwhelmed like my body broke down like I was going to shit my pants like just everything in the world that I knew right there I wanted that for me I knew that I wanted to be on that stage someday not comedy wise

and not as a television guy not even close just in the finals of the NCAA. So when you were writing those letters, you believed that you were going to be. I fucking believed. When I saw that, I believed that I could get out of my situation, which at that time wasn't a bad situation, but I believed that I could get myself into North Carolina,

that I didn't have to be a burden on my mother. I really fucking believe that, guys. Forgive me if you said it, but do you know Michael Corner, just the fact that he was from Jersey City? after years later, I met him and explained to him what had happened. He looked at me and like fucking swelled up because he knew. You know, he didn't have a father growing up.

You know, his mother worked at a fucking restaurant as a waitress and she saved her tips to buy him fucking. In those days, it wasn't Nike sneakers. It was a sneaker by the name of ponies. So if you didn't have Julius Irving's limousines for the feet, you had to have ponies. Do they have that game on YouTube? Can you put the beginning real quick to see if they say it before my man calls in?

Would it be a problem real quick? No, well, I'll just... Just to see if not, we'll turn it off. But that's what gave me... That right there let me knew, right there, my life, that I could do something. And that's all I wanted to do at that time. That was it. I knew that that's what I fucking wanted to do.

No, I think they start at the tip-off. Do they do the lineup after that or no? No, I do it. They do... Well, show the tip-off. I'll show you what this fucking guy looked like. He was a skinny white dude with bad fucking skin.

But looking at him, you can tell this motherfucker was dangerous. And look who it is. It's my childhood friend on the phone. Sabatino. Listen, I'm doing a radio show. Can I call you when I get out of here? I'm telling these motherfuckers about Michael Corrin at North Carolina

when he was a freshman. These motherfuckers don't know. I'll call you back, Sabadab. I love you. And Mickey and Jackie Galoo, These motherfuckers don't know. I'll call you back saps. I love you, cocksucker. I'll show you who this guy is.

Go ahead, start this motherfucker. You see 31 right there. He was all over the... Look, you're watching? He was right there, right from the tip. Look at 31. And the baby blue suit on. You see, 31?

That was my idol, right there. That white dude would fuck you up, basketball-wise. This was a kid from Rocky Mountain, North Carolina. That black kid, was a bad motherfucker right there. This was a great... Fucking Walter Davis. Fucking Walter Davis went out to play for the Phoenix Suns,

and he was a... Look at this shit right here, Cox Suckers. Three second violation, no basket. Yeah, this was my shit. You could turn it off. This was my shit. This was my... Got my dick hard, and I didn't stop after this.

This was it. This was for me. like reading ladies and gentlemen Lenny Bruce like it just I nearly I couldn't believe it

no more I couldn't fucking stop but that was my inspiration right there watching that kid them say his name from Jersey City New Jersey

because I was from North Bergen right next door at that point did you know that he was going to be playing or it was a surprise you were just watching the game as a fan

I found out midseason that there was a kid from Jersey City playing I always wondered what had happened to that kid. You know, when I was a kid, I read the papers. I delivered papers, and I used to read the paper about these kids from Jersey City and Spinole.

First of all, had a 4.0 average back then. Like, he became like a big-time attorney. He played for the Sixers for like a year, but he was too white and too small. You know, he was six foot two. It doesn't happen. We had another kid. His name was Jackie Galoon. He was a white kid from Jersey, from West New York, New Jersey, which is all Cuban.

but he was a white dude. He went to school at Rudy Sar's a white at this school. Memorial High School. Oh, cool. Jackie Gouloun was another bad motherfucker who was six foot one, who was claimed to fame was playing basketball on national TV on a hit assid.

He ended up going to South Carolina. He did not play it. Yes, he did. But he, this little white scrawny dude from Memorial ate up Butch Lee, that black dude from Marquette. He ate him up on national television. And that was his claim to fame. Whenever I'd see Jack Galoony, the dog, you know what I mean?

I ain't up fucking Butch Lee on the L'A. He didn't go make of the pros because he was too short and shit. But you didn't see, there was two dribblers I remember growing up. A, motherfucker fucking Pistol Pete Marovich and B, Jackie Galloon. When I say dribble, I mean, you know. No, I know what you mean? Dribble the ball. What are you giggling for, like a moron?

Because he played an NBA game or a call, whatever it is, on acid? That was his claim. But he never told nobody, like the baseball player. Only the fucking inside is new. We knew his kids that that was, because he'd always be on asking the courts. There he is. There he is. Oh, shit.

What's up? Oh, shit. Look at you. What's happening, guys? What's up, Cassius Morris? I love the fucking room. Thanks, man. Got a kiss all over the place.

Reping the church, you know. Oh, shit. There's my dog. What's going on in your world? Oh, man, nothing but good stuff lately. It's been wonderful. How about you? Same shit here, just watching you doing stuff.

So what are you doing over at Rick Bronsons? I met Rick just over a year ago now at a Burt Kreischer show, and I introduced myself and I asked him to do my podcast. We did it. Next thing you know, I was at the club more and more often, and Miss Pat actually helped me get a job there. So what do you do over there? I'm a door guy, and I run the sound booth as well.

Do you really? How many nights a week? About three, four nights a week, and I get a lot of weekends. I've got to work with Ari, Sam, Tripoli, Bert, It's been beautiful. Fuck. If I had a war, if I didn't have a war and I'd be up there

with you smoking bazookas, the whole fucking thing, you know what I'm saying? Corrupt. Hey, any time. We actually, we have a new picture of you in the club now. I've been waiting for you to come up here. Good.

How's your family doing? They're doing great. How's your sister? She's good. She's 9th, 10th grade, something like that. Just had her birthday. My mother's birthdays today. So what did you guys do today?

You go to like Olive Garden or something like that? Yeah, extra breadsticks, you know. All right. So what concerts have you been going to lately? I've been to so many, and I was watching the Periscope that you guys were doing earlier, obviously, about Black Sabbath. I just saw them twice. And when I said to you that Iommi and Ozzy almost made me, like, emotional a couple times, I wasn't joking. I mean, it was absolutely incredible.

I only did like a 10-minute solo during Dirty Women. Couldn't believe it. I was at Slayer, Alice Cooper, Motley Crew, all your old stuff that you love. You go to all these shows? A lot of the time I'll buy a ticket. If I'm a huge fan, otherwise, I'll just get a press pass, and they'll just send me in there through the back with a little pass and a ticket so I can stay in there.

And I've been dabbling with the photography, so they've been letting me in baseball. It's not that easy, though. How do you get the press pass? It's not like they're handing them out. I don't know. I mean, I just applied and they, I think that there's somebody at the company. It's the number one concert company in Canada. They just decided to give me a shot, luckily.

And they obviously have taken a liking to me, which I'm very grateful for. So, I mean, you always need that. one person, especially when you're in a position like mine on the come-up, that will, you know, give you that shot. Cassius, where do you get this thing that you have? Do you get it from your mom? Do you get it from your dad? I mean, you're way ahead of the fucking curve. You're way out of the curve. What you're doing now, listen to how much of a loser I am. I was doing it 30. I was a sound guy at a fucking comedy club, checking IDs, and then I got promoted to the bar back.

Right. You're doing it at how old? 17 now. And you're going to college and everything? You have plans to go to college? I mean, what are you doing? At some point, I'll take a couple courses. Yeah, definitely.

You're not going right after high school? No, no. You're taking a year off? Yeah, definitely. I'm proud of you. That's a good choice right there, number one. What made you decide on that? I mean, it happened recently.

I just figured that instead of sitting in a classroom, talking to people about running a soundboard, talking to people about photography, I would actually benefit more from doing photography and running a soundboard and running a light show and making these connections in the real world, you know, not sitting in a class, talking about podcasts and, you know, with a shitty little computer, actually, you know, doing these things and putting myself in a position where I can get employed for doing these things just based on, you know, experience. Again, where do you fucking get this savvy from?

your mom, your dad. I mean, what the fuck are they thinking? Like, they're some of the deyble drooling on themselves. Like, where did you get this kid from? I just, I've been inspired. What can I tell you? I was inspired by you guys. I was inspired by Carolla and Rogan and all that camp.

And it's just something that when I discovered it, it was something I knew I really wanted to do. Now, when you told them about the no college, was there any resentment, was there any anger? Was there any yelling? No, not at all. Good for you. They're fully supportive.

Yeah. Jesus Christ, you're fucking lucky. God bless you, Cassius. Are you coming here, Cassius? Are you coming to L.A.? What's the plan? I was planning on going there this past summer, but I got a media job up in B.C. that I had to get to.

But I actually might be up there in September, and I might actually, because I just saw Sabbath twice, and it just wasn't enough. I might time it around the Hollywood Bowl show, so you never know. The September 19 show, right? Is that the date? Are there still tickets left?

There should be. You could probably get some. And I'm saying, like, where are you going to work? Like, you should just move here when you're 18. Like, there's no reason not to. You have, what, six, seven years now experience? The six, seven, I think it's coming up on eight now. I mean, it's been pretty crazy.

But that's definitely the plan. I feel like L.A. is just kind of calling my name at this point. I'm just waiting for the right circumstances, you know. What is the, what is in your sights right now? What are you looking to do right now, Cash? It's like, what is it that you want to do? If you move to LA, what is the ideal job? I think some form of television or radio hosting, I mean, definitely.

If I could take the podcast and take it, obviously it probably at this point wouldn't go to this level, but take it to a level like Corolla is taking it to. That would be my dream job, definitely. And I want to keep pursuing this photography. I want to have something on maybe TV. I dabble in acting as well. If it's in the entertainment industry, I'm happy, basically. Good for you, man.

I mean, do you want to work as serious as a radio host? Would you be willing just to transfer your podcast down here and bang it out and get some sponsors and really go for it five days a week, interview of musicians and all the stuff you want to do? Is that what you're looking at right now? Yeah, definitely. The goal for me has always been to start off with the podcast. The podcast is not the end-all be-all for me. It's like a stepping stone into what I want to get to. And you brought up serious, that's where I would love to see myself.

I'd love to take the podcast, build a listenership so that when I do get on some kind of major platform, I have some people with me. So that's not just a brand new show that will have no listeners. I already have some people there. You're way ahead of me already. But what I would say, man, is I think that's a mistake. I think the podcast is where, like, you've been doing it. I'm not saying you can't do that other stuff. He can still do the series and still do the podcast and give them both two different flavors.

And maybe put guys like me on the podcast that you could usually put on serious. You'll have more of a, if you're living in L.A., you'll have more available guests and they can be in person. And your podcast will skyrocket when you get here. And you're young, you're out every night. You know, how many shows do you go to a week? At this point it's like at least one show a week It's like four or five six shows a month And who was the last show you went to see

The last one was Slayer And I was up in the photo pit with Carrie King up there Come on I was what's that? Come on It was crazy I mean I feel very very lucky I don't take any of this for granted

You know I know there's people that would You know rock fans that would kill for this opportunity And I'm one of them Now what about school What do you do at school night? What time do you have to be in the morning? You know what? I've been actually taking a little hiatus there.

I'm looking at online courses and such. I'm just not the kind of guy that can get up at six in the morning and go to something like that that I'm not necessarily interested in. However, I am still interested in, of course, finishing my education and taking it, you know, obviously getting my diploma and stuff. So we're looking at a new way around it. I guess you could call it. So this would typically be your senior. a year, correct? Yeah.

Okay, so you just took the senior year off, sort of like I did. Yeah. I took, you know, I found something in August, and it filled voids, and I said, you know what? As much as it hurts me, I got to drop out for a little while

just to get some wind under my feet. And I eventually went back, and eventually I got the diploma, but, no, you're doing the right thing then. But if you got a job at 6th of the morning, you get up at six, correct? Of course, absolutely. Okay, no worries.

If serious is calling me a 6 a.m. saying, hey, we want you down here, I'll be there at 5 a.m. And what kind of serious show would you have? Would it be music, comedians, bands, everything, the whole fucking cabang. Yeah, I see these shows that are kind of separated into different categories and such. And that doesn't really work with me. I want to talk about, I want to play a Nas song, and then I want to play a song by Aerosmith. And then I want to play a song by, you know, Aesap Rockie or whoever. I want to mix it all up and then I want to

maybe interview an astronaut and then interview a comic. I just want to do it all. I would love to see you on VH1 or something doing your thing. You know, even VH1 is for all the fucks like me. Maybe they should put you on MTV where you fucking belong.

They can put me anywhere they want. MTV is threatening to go back to music, correct? I think so. I think they are and they should. They should, they are and whatever the fuck. So, I mean, you'd be the guy to lead them into the next fucking world. That's a really nice thing to say.

Yeah, no. Listen, man, I watch you. There's two guys who really know music. John Wolf is good with music. Well, the Wolf, yeah. Bobby Sharon's good with music. You're very good with music. Thank you. I see that you're out. Listen, man, when I was 16, 15, I was out.

I was out going apart. I was, every night. You know, and I went to see James Brown. I went to see the B-52s. You know, I went to see Pat Benatar when most guys. guys would go, you're a fucking fag. How can you go see that? I love the music. I'd go see a Spanish band. I'd go, I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to get inspired. I remember the first time people would say to him, I can't believe you went to see Judas Priest. He's gay. I didn't

give a fuck. If you saw him sing and do his thing, gender disappeared. I didn't give him a fuck what he was. No, of course. But you're lucky, man. You're living this fucking life that most people dream of you're not doing drugs you're not drinking you're not you know hurt nobody and uh you're way ahead of the curve my friend i'm i'm trying to stay there and i you know the kind words really mean a lot i mean like they just i couldn't appreciate it more no no no give me i wanted to really know your review on the last couple shows you've gone to see and uh i could tell by everything sabbath really blew away blew you away absolutely it was It was like the second that curtain dropped, they opened up with the first song, Black Sabbath.

And it was just, you know, Ozzy was just seeing those guys. I mean, these guys don't have to be there doing this. This is why it matters so much to me is that these guys have known each other since they were like, what, my age back in the 60s. And they're up here jumping up and down in their 60s. You know, he should be at home in the chakusie with Sharon right now. He doesn't have to be here. And it's just, it's, I'm so lucky to be able to have my generation in the, The people that are my age that still enjoy this music get to experience it still.

It's unbelievable. How did, I hear the music is fucking phenomenal. I hear they sound, what I've seen on YouTube, what I've watched, the shows from Chicago, people have been posting shows, and just what I've seen on YouTube is fucking mind-boggling. It's incredible. The sound is just to the T. And right now, I got to be honest with you. I'm on the fence right now

because I always feel like I'm too old to be at one of those shows but at the same time I'm not fucking dead yet and I'm the type of guy that I've been looking online I'll pay for those fucking tickets Well you don't have to stand in the mosh pit and like go crazy but you couldn't go and enjoy yourself

Listen Exactly You Someday Cash is more is going to be 50 And he's going to think of this story and I don't know Cash is a nice kid

he's up every day he's posting he's doing podcasts he's interviewing people he loves kiss and he goes after him like a fucking savage you know I read that

you're at the hotel and you heard Ozzy at the hotel I mean you don't stop that's relentless you're like the fucking kid from that movie you're like that kid living that fucking dream

one minute he's in San Diego interviewing the school newspaper and the next minute he's on the road with fucking led Zeppelin and shit, whatever the fucking guys name is. Almost famous. But at the same time you're seeing these, you know,

when I was your age, I saw Sabbath for the first time. Man, in their prime too. 19, no, they were done. Oh, really? They were done. Technical ecstasy tour or something? No, never say die. Yeah, it started to go downhill.

I had been hearing about this band. I had probably three or two of their albums. I had paranoid. I had sabotage and I had bought Master Reality, but I can't lie to you. It was still a little too dark for Uncle Joey. Didn't want to go into the void just yet. I didn't want to go into the void just yet. And there must have been, I went over with like three kids from high school, but when I got over to the garden, there must have been, I must have counted 40 kids from my high school.

Yeah. And it was my seeing these, everybody was fucked up. We were all on mescaline, and, you know, we had met at 5 o'clock and smoked 40 joints. 24 Budwisers. Yeah. Oh, no, in those days it was nips. I wasn't a big drink. I would get dizzy and pass out.

So I had to, like, calm out beers. I'd buy an eight-pack but drink four, like three and a half and dump the other ones and shit. But I just remember going to watch the first band. It was Van Halen. Man. And in those days, you didn't go to watch the motherfucking opening band. You just didn't. You just didn't.

Most people still don't. But now people were like Van Halen and we went and it was this fucking crazy guy, this other guy jumping up and down, but they got you. And then Black Sabbath came on and I can't tell you how old. At that time, my mom was still alive. I was still doing my game. I was having a good time. They were just, the sound was horrific. Ozzy was off key.

He was fat as fuck. He had the big beard at that point. He was fat as fuck. I don't remember if he had a beard. He was fat as fuck. fat as fuck. He was sloppy. He was drunk. Iommi was angered about something, but the tie of the night was, you know, like, and I kind of remember, and then somebody reminded me seeing Bill Ward snorting off the drums. Oh, man. Like, I had never saw that and how he was on. Like, after that, years later,

somebody, I think Timmy mentioned it to me. He goes, remember Bill's Ward snorting off? And I still remember why I was. I was on the side. But by the fourth song, You would hear him, like, guitar things going wrong, like, e-e, and all that shit. Really? And you could just tell. It was just Ozzy wasn't happy. I think they sang Junia's eyes. He didn't like it.

He goes, this is a fucking jazz song or some shit. You know, it was just... What did that do to you as a fan? Them sucking so bad? It wasn't that they sucked so bad. Like, I thought... I tell you who sucked real bad when I saw him the first time, Erosmith. Like, I expected something out of this world.

and three junkies came out with two other guys and they just were going through. It was like a high school band. Like, you just heard different things. The highlight was when Joe Perry broke the guitar and people went crazy and that was it. And I went to see Ted was great. That was my first concert, Ted.

I went to see the Stones at Your Age for the Some Girls Tour. They were unbelievable, far and open for them. They were unbelievable. I had gone to see the New Barber, Berrians, which were the stones without Mick Jagger. They were phenomenal, great experience all around. And all of a sudden, I go see Black Sabbath, who I had heard so much about.

Like I said, I had three of their albums. I really didn't know the whole catalog, and they were mediocre. Right. But it didn't matter. I went home and bought Never Say Die, and I bought Technical Exacy, and I bought Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath, and now, and they took me out of a dark place. Like when I think of Black Sabbath, like when I play Sabbath bloody Sabbath on a Monday morning, that means I'm going to war, bitch, this week. Like, that's shit.

That's it. Like, there's no looking back. Yeah, it's a big dick and a smile, Jack. When I put Sabbath bloody Sabbath on a Monday morning, that means you better be on your best behavior. You better get the knife ready because that's what that means. You're going to war. And you're not sick of any of these songs by now? None of these songs.

Did you see my excitement tonight when I was listening to Children of the Grave and Ferries wear boots? it was just as exciting for me. So when I see Cassius saying that he was at a fucking hotel and he heard fucking Ozzy's voice, Jesus Christ, what do you think I fucking feel like? I feel like an asshole. I felt like an asshole because it turned out he was sick that day and he actually canceled the show,

so I didn't want to bother him, but it was crazy, though. Did they redo the show there? They did. They did. A month later, they came back. I drove three hours to Calgary to see the one show, saw the other show here. Both were worth it.

And you mentioned children of the grave. I will tell you that's the best song. That's the song to see if you're going to see them. Don't miss that one because they got fireworks. Ozzy's jumping up and down. It's insane. Ozzy's jumping up and down. He gets on his hands and knees.

He's bowing to the audience. The guy's like 70. You know, it does something. It doesn't it? It really does. It does. I'm like, I'm not going to go see that old man fest. And I'm like, wait a second.

They carried me through the darkest times of my. fucking life. How am I going to go pay my fucking respects? You know what I mean? It's acid. I did the Black Sabbath sabotaged to bring me back from, you know, uh, old man fest. What other songs did they play? Really? I'm not going to lie to you. What are the songs? I looked up their set list. Yeah, it is fucking phenomenal. You're a tremendous nerd for music. Get the set list lead. 2016 Black Sabot toured set list. Let's go over it with cashes. Because this is my little fucking who knows what's crying.

I got more trust in you, Cassius, than half these fucking music craigs. They don't know dick. I want to give a shout out to my main man, Mike, at the jewelry store in Union City, New Jersey, saying not to forget fucking Mandy Johnson and David Rivers and, uh, no, no, no, we had a bunch of Nikki Gallas

and we had a ton of fucking players in HQ and H-C. What the fuck, H-Q? I'm hanging out with that. Cassius Morris. You got New Chucks? What do you got up there in Calgary? You got some stars of death? What do you got?

Stars of death? We got numbers. We got hash. Good, good, good. We got everything. We're all set. But you're a nice boy. You don't know nothing.

You don't do nothing. You haven't talked to nobody in years. I don't play games, man. I do what I got to do, and I stay in my lane. I try not to bother anybody, like you said, and I do what I can. I do what I can. How are your friends? How are your friends?

How come your friends ain't there with Longham? They come around. They're good. They're good. I actually, it's funny because a lot of them are rock and metal fans. So I get to be like, yeah, this is my camera guy. Let them backstage and they'll let them back into the tour bus and stuff. It's been great.

I get to give away concert tickets all the time to my buddies, you know. They love it. Let me ask you this. What albums are you listening to this week? What have you been listening to since Monday? Talk to me. Oh, man. Let me tell you.

Talk to me, baby. Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath. And the first time I heard this was on your show. When you played a national acrobat, you pushed me over. the edge. I've been listening to that album almost every day. If you think that, you know what National Acrobat did to me? Are you fucking kidding me? I have the world that hides the universal secret of the time.

Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? Who writes that shit? Who writes that? What did you drink to write that? You just don't get up in the morning and say, I am the world that hides the universal secret of all time. You just don't come up with that. Geyser was a madman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

killing yourself to live. I'm a sabotage guy too. Dog. Megalmania. I almost jumped off a building. The thrill of it all, when I put the thrill of it all on, that means not only am I going to war, but I'm stabbing somebody. I got the knife. I got the fucking Windex.

I got everything. Sabin everybody. No, we're stabbing everybody. Hit me with the set list. All right. From the beginning. Read it all down here for your uncle Joey. Right.

So this is for the one at Madison Square Garden. February 27th. So they open with Black Sabbath. Fairies wear boots. Damn! We had that out tonight. Right out of the bat. After forever. Oh shit. Have you ever thought about your soul?

Can it be saved? Or perhaps you think that when you are dead. You just stay in the grave. Come on now. What else we got? Into the void. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Into the void. I'm going to have to bring a gun there and just shoot myself in the eyeball

while they're doing it for the void just to end it just like a gentleman. Just go home after that. Well, you can't go home after that because then they're snow blind. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. And then they go right into war pigs. All right.

And then behind the wall of sleep. Oh, how good? Did you get that up there? Behind the wall? Got everything. Come on. I couldn't believe it. And I don't know what this means, but with Rasp intro.

If you know what that means. The Geyser Butler, bass song. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. What else? NIB. All right. What else?

With basically intro. Oh, shit. Uh, hand of doom. Yeah. Now that one changed my life, Joe. That one changed my life too. The lyrics on that one, especially when you're tripping. Never mind when they're like, when you're just talking to your friends and giggling,

it's when you put it on and you're getting home from a long night and you think you're down from the acid. And you put that out. Your dim the lights, you don't know who shows up right next to you and starts asking your creepy questions. What else is on there? A rat salad. Oh, Jesus Christ. With a drum solo. Jesus Christ.

It was good. No, very good. And then there's Iron Man, Dirty Woman, and Children of the Grave, and then the Encore was paranoid. Let me tell you some. What's the third? Do the last five again. Okay. Including the encore now?

No, no. Just the last five. from the top, not from the top, right there. Children of the grave. Yeah. Dirty woman. Yeah. Iron man.

Let me tell you something. The guitar solo on dirty women. Tell these motherfuckers how, doesn't he have four missing fingers that top the tips? Oh, yeah. He cut him off in a sheet metal accident. On his last day. There you go. His last day ever.

And what did he do? He turned the chords upside down. He did something. He did something, Jimmy Hendonix. He put. bass chords on a guitar to give it a thicker sound. It's just, this is the type of shit that you don't know, but when a guy like me thinks about it,

it thinks how fucking ignorant I am. But this guy said, you know what, wait a second, what kind of shit can I put on this to create my own sound so I don't sound like everybody else? You know, as Cassius and I know, when I hear A's freely, I know it's motherfucking A's freely. Oh, yeah, he's a badass man. You hear a baddest.

You hear a fucking Tony I owe me. I know. it's Iommia. When I hear Gilmore, I know it's fucking David Gilmore. Because that's what they did. They devised their own sound. When I hear Clapton, I know what type of, I know it. When I hear

Keith Richards, I know it. They are who they are because when I hear Stevie Vi, what tours are you looking to come to town? What are you looking at? What shows are you fucking hoping to come in so you could rock them out? Who's coming up? I want to see Kiss. I want to see Kiss again. It's been a while,

man. But the number one I want to see, I mean, I honestly, I can't even ask for anything. I mean, I've seen everything that I've wanted to see. I've seen everybody there is. I mean, once you see Ozzy two days in a row, it's all over. Where are you going to go from there? I love your attitude. I love your attitude.

Who's coming up there the next couple weeks? I know that there's some great. Who's Steve Yvye? He put together a band that's smoking. Really? I didn't hear about it yet. Somebody like those two guitar guys and a badass singer. man I'll tell you who's on the road you should go see him just out of respect

because I know you appreciate this shit. Bad Company and Joe Walsh. I heard you talking about that saying it was going to be a great show. Listen, that could go two ways. That could be like a Ringo star and friends reunion which you want to just commit suicide. That's where they invented the punch that Jim Jones drank

at the island. Was that a Ringo star concert. They're like, listen, we've got to make some suicide juice and get it to Ringo. Finally. fucking uh but it could also be like listen i know bad company is gonna knock your pants off uh course they've got i haven't found them at atomic records you know desolation angels uh bad company bad company is a classic album but there's one of them burning sky or the sky is burnt

but yeah something like that that's a fucking masterful that's a great band they were so good they were on the Zeppelin label. They were managed by Peter Grant. A lot of people don't know that. Oh, they do know that and they don't give a Frenchman's fuck. But if you don't know, now you fucking know. You know what I'm saying? Cock suckers. That guy is a pimp. And the singer from that has a wig. He got thrown out the first time for kicking the guy in the mouth. And he's a black belt and karate. But he was also thought to replace Jim Morrison when he died. Paul Rogers was the only replacement they had in mind when Jim Morrison died.

He went on to sing with a band called Free, and then he went on to Bad Company, who in my world, you know, listen, the proof isn't the fucking pudding. Put on the four fucking albums and get back to me, bitch. Call me later. Call me later and shit, you know what I'm saying? Welcome to my world, motherfucker.

So when are we going to see you down here, my brother? Talk to me. Tell me about your plans. What do we need to put together? Do we need to put together a GoFundMe, Cassius Morris, moving party to Hollywood, and ball lick. Once you get here, over at the rainbow,

we'll sit you down in the Lemmy's chair and we'll have some chick lick your nuts or whatever. That's, I mean, I'm way ahead of you. I already had that. Look at Casas throwing some fucking heat tonight in the podcast. I'll be out there. I'll be out there, hopefully, in September.

I want to catch that show at the bowl. And I'd love to see you guys if you guys were around, say hello or something. You know, man, I'll tell you what. I have been on the fence. When I get back on Sunday, I'm going to go online and start investigating these tickets. And I'm going to try to get some tickets and I'm going to try to hook up with you there.

I think it's time. Of course. I mean, these guys are my childhood. Why not go and pay my last respects? I don't give a fuck what they want for a ticket at this point. It's not too bad. No, it's not too bad. I have an account I have on the side that my wife don't even know about.

Nobody knows about it. Last year when they would pay me with cash, sometimes they would give me $200 bills. I would put those $200 bills away or $100 bills or something. give me a 50, I would put that $50 bill away. Well, I looked the other day, Jesus, I got like $600 in there in 50s, you know what I'm saying? So I'm going to use that for my little Black Sabbath stash and take an Uber to the Hollywood ball, so I have to walk up that fucking hill. Yeah.

You know, walking up the hill is fucked up, walking down with a hit of acid in me. I'll walk until your fucking Calgary. Walk all the way to Canada, past the Secret Service. So what else is going on? Let us know what we're going to see from. Cash just the next few weeks. You're writing a blog. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Lots of concert reviews. I actually have a Black Sabbath sabotage podcast coming up. We go track by track through the whole album, talk about each song. I've got Iron Maiden coming up in just over a week, and I'm hoping to get the photo pass for that. And just lots of music podcasts and hip-hop too. I'm actually a lot of people don't know.

I'm a huge hip-hop guy. How far back do you go? Way back. I, you know, Biggie, Nas, A-Z, everybody. How great is fucking Nas? The best. I just saw him, actually. No, you did not. Front row.

And how good was he live? It was incredible. He came over, pointed at me, said the world is yours. He killed it. And it was outside in a hailstorm. I forgot it was hailing. You, my friend, have a great future ahead of you. I wish you nothing but great things.

I sit there and look at your post, and I admire you because I wish I would have fell in love how you did. My life would have been a lot different. I wouldn't have tangled up with drugs and the bullshit. I would have done what my love was, which was what you have on your walls. Those were my walls.

Right there, those were my walls. I had Kiss Alive on there. I had fucking the Beatles' White Alam on there. I had a dark side of the moon on my wall. To this day, kiss alive. I told these guys why I don't listen to it. Because me and my boy Anthony Balzano used to listen to it when he died.

I put the album in this casket and I said the next time we listen to it is wherever the fuck they send you because wherever you're going, I'll be there, cocksucker. You know what I'm saying? Heaven, hell, purgatory, or dump fucking in Jersey somewhere, I'll be there with that album.

Whatever you want to call it. My brother, I'm happy you fucking called in tonight. Thank you very much. You're an inspiration. You're a bad motherfucker with a great future. Anything I can do for you. Please reach out. Thank you so much, Uncle Joey.

And thank you to all the church people that have been hit me up on Twitter and online. You guys are the best. And Lee, thank you too so much. What are you going to listen to tonight? Drop it out. What are you doing tonight? What's your schedule look like on a Wednesday night? It's 9 o'clock over there. So you're in for the night? A couple numbers, a little bit of Metallica, some sublime. Got some Alice Cooper lined up for tonight, a bit of rush. Yeah. I fucking love you, kid. I love you. I love you. Keep doing what you're doing. You need something. You call us. All right, brother?

Thank you. Thank you very much. You're an inspiration, brother. Bye, wedding. Thank you. You guys take care. Thank you, you too, my friend. What do you think about that, Lee? It was great.

And you want to stay in on the fucking weekends and get no sunshine. That's it. No more of that shit. No more of that shit. No more. That's it. I don't care if you've got to put a fucking hat on. What?

Nothing. No, I'm just, it started to hit me during that. I know. That was a, he's great. I had him on my podcast to talk about his podcasting. That kid is a great kid. And, Jesus, you know, you think of how many directions you could go to the kid like that at that age. Right.

Those are the years. Those are the years that if you fall in with one dude, you know, I stole the car. Whatever. Whatever. That's it. And to see him with that head, you know, thinking ahead of the game, he's not being fresh. He's always respectful. Well, his dad's a police officer, I believe.

Yeah, no, no. watch him. They watch them. They've given him freedom at the same time to do what he's wanted to do. You know, 30 years ago, you couldn't come home and tell you your dad you would drop him out. He would smack you in the fucking face.

Yeah. They would call you a loser, make you join the service. I think it's even newer than that because my mom, if I had tried to drop out, would never have let me. But, I mean, he's been doing it, I think since he's nine or ten. So he has more experience than

than I do than most people do. You know, like I was talking about in the beginning of the thing, you know, we got into college basketball beyond that because I'm watching this. And I was saying to myself, I hope that mercy,

my daughter, gets it at an early age, that this is the route to go. That the route to go is in high school to get good grades and pick a sport or whatever the fuck you want to do, play the flute, golf, tennis, whatever fuck it is, and strive to go to a great college, get a great education.

But the whole thing is to, like, strive, like to make a mark, like to leave your name on that college wall, to do something, you know. I dreamt of that. I didn't give a fuck about the pros. Do you think I want to be a pro basketball player? All I wanted to do was step in that fucking circle and for them to say from Northburg and New Jersey at fucking forward, Joey Cocoa Diaz.

That's it. I would have a heart attack. That's it. It wouldn't have mattered. My performance, it wouldn't have mattered. What mattered to me was I got to that circle. I never got to that circle, man. That'll haunt me, tell I'm fucking...

And I could tell you 20 excuses. The excuses was I was a fucking pussy. I gave up. I let somebody beat me. You know what I'm saying? And somewhere unconsciously, I told myself I'd never let somebody beat me again, especially when I realized what had happened.

At that age, I didn't comprehend what it happened. I just didn't like it no more. That was bullshit. You just don't like something normal. You just don't like something that you've given your heart into that. You've run up hills that you used to ride a bike with a basketball between my legs. You know, me and that kid Sabatino that called, you know, me and him have been playing. He's going to call the podcast next week and tell you, motherfucker, some fucked-up fucking.

stories. I'm going to have him because his mother was my lunch teacher, the lady who gave me sandwiches at the fucking lunch place. So anyway, but that's what I want for my daughter. I hope she gets the understanding that you know,

that's what's cool. That's what's fucking cool. In my world, that was the coolest fucking thing. It wasn't music. It wasn't smoking weed. It wasn't going to a concert in those days. None of that mattered to me. I like music. and everything, and I put music.

I put Led Zeppelin on while I was practicing basketball. But my world was that. My whole focus was that. To go to a college. After I got left back, do you know what I felt like? A fucking retard. Only retards get left back. Retards get left back.

If you fucking think about it, you got four quarters to make it happen. You know what I'm saying? Because you might be a fuck-up. You might be retarded until like January. And then wake up out of your fucking coma and score big on the finals in March. And then knock them dead in June and squeeze out of there with a sea and shit.

They'll fucking watch you for a while. You'll spit out a couple of D's. Your mama make you wash some dishes. But that ain't bad enough like getting fucking left back, dog. Nothing stays of you like getting left back. Maybe AIDS and fucking a tattoo. That shit has drilled me since day one. Then dropping out of high school?

Are you fucking kidding me? That really shunned my fucking ego. That destroyed my insides, dog. Quitting high school in those days to me was a loser's day. you didn't quit a fucking high school who quits high school guys who hang out in the corners and smoke cigarettes and fucking

that's who quits high school and that's who I became a guy who wanted to smoke three for and tell the stupid fucking stories but at least I know this going in you follow right let's give some shoutouts here Chris James 1978

She 7 R.O.J Andrew Nandahl up there in Nyack, New York waiting for me up there in fucking November we're going to be freezing like two fucking morons. Lorne Rosencour, my main man, my heart. Always, brother, I got you. Josh Chambers, Gary Warden, Bobby Sharon,

fucking music and presario and shit down there in fucking Austin, Texas, selling T-shirts and fucking bubblegums. He don't give a fuck Bobby Sharon. And Donovan Sal Rousseau, this motherfucker, Sala up there doing jiu-jitsu somewhere, fucking choking somebody. What do you have to say for yourself?

Cock sucker. I'm doing good, man. I'm just really enjoying this fucking star death. Stars, plural, cocksucker. What are you doing this weekend? This weekend. I have to go, Paul is having, like, an event for her law school, so I have to go get a suit.

I haven't put a suit on forever. Did you buy a suit yet? No, I have a suit, but it was, like, when I was super fat, so it's, like, taken in, which felt nice. You got to take an end. I had to. Why don't you go get a nice new suit? Because I'm still trying to lose weight.

But you can't wear a nice suit. Go down to Hollywood fucking suit down there. No, this is a nice suit. But listen to me. It's old. It's got dust on. It's got old Jew dust in the closet. How many times you wear it?

You wore it to that fucking Scott Chod wedding. He already worn it. This is Paula's fucking gig. Surprise. I'll get one for her graduation. No, no. Forget the graduation. Listen to me.

I don't have time. It's on Thursday. You don't listen to me. What time Thursday? Evening. Okay. Listen, tomorrow morning you wake up in 905. You have a nice breakfast

You get in the fucking car You get on the 134 South And you connect on the one-on-one south It's gonna be about 20, 25 minutes of traffic No big fucking deal I got, look Who's better than your Uncle Joey?

You know who? Nobody, okay? I'm gonna save you time I'm gonna make your day tomorrow because you ain't doing Dictamon on the daytime And you're gonna make a world Because you took the time

to do this. She's expecting you to wear that Scott Chatsuit. Wait to you were bust in there looking like fucking Jimmy DeLeah on the 155th Street. What are you nuts? Are you fucking nuts? So what? Jimmy Dele? Don't worry about Jimmy Delea. But the boot, you're going to put you got a yarmica here

with you? You got a yarmica here with you? Of course. A junior who never leaves home without his yarmulch. Listen to me. You bust a yarmac out tomorrow at that food. At that fucking Jew school. It's a law school. What do you think goes to law school? Armenian, black people. I think it's a Mexican-American American law, so she isn't dinner.

There's a fuck. There's got to be a Jew there and you're going to connect with them. Bam, just like that. Bam, you're going to make eye contact and go, listen, the only reason why we're here is for an envelope. Something in this fucking room, we're going to get an envelope. So listen to what you're going to do. Because I love you the debt, like a nephew. If you need the

deuce, I'll give you the deuce because I love you. You're going to get on the 134, at 9 o'clock. You're going to get to Hollywood about 935. All right? You're going to go to the Hollywood suit out. quit. You're going to park your car right in front of the spot because there's a parking right there. You're going to be there bright and early when those fucking savages open up the gate.

Okay, you're a Jew. All right. If you're going to do business, what's the matter? What fell? Something fell. Well, you keep looking at the computer like it's the end of the world. Like, I'm going to fucking, like I'm on Norad or something like that. I thought I heard something. You didn't hear nothing. You're fucking me up. My train of thought here. I'm setting you up tomorrow. I'm hooking you up big. I'm at the Hollywood suit outlet. You're at the Hollywood suit outlet, but then you're not at the Hollywood suit out.

See, these are foreigners. These are those Israelis we spoke about. Those dark-skinned motherfuckers with a black feet, a needle won't even go in their fucking skin. They're those little mountain brothers. They got up there in Israel. They're there. They got a couple of Armenians.

Listen, they don't want to lose the first go to the day. It's bad luck. You're the first go to the day. I'm the first go, okay? So you're going in there with two bills in your fucking hand. And you're going to go listen. I'm looking for three suit deal.

Okay, you're going to go in there. You're going to pick out three suits for $200 with a shirt and a pair of socks. The socks, you can light them on fire. That polyester. The shirt, you might as well light that on fire too. But what you're going to do is, bro, you're going to take the shirt, and that's going to be your alternative shirt. Like when you've got to do something stupid and you think you have to take the jacket off

and this being people smoking pot. I take those shirts home. Those are utility, white shirts, get together. gray shirt because they give you three suits, three shirts. Right. And three pairs of socks and a belt for the small deuce. And they trick you because if you go into the big $600 suits, it's the same $200 suit.

The guy he used to work there, he went somewhere else and he told me. He goes, when you go in there, just get the $200 suits. They'll alter them for you while they're altering them for you in the back, whatever it is, the small 35, whatever it is, Lee, get a pair of shoes, nice. And while they're fixing your suits, you know what you're going to do? What? You're going to go to the fruit juice stand and get a little sandwich for $8.50. Now, you're saying, but Joey, why do I need three suits for?

Because the number one suit you're going to bust out tomorrow night. The number two suit, you're going to bust out at the graduation. And the number three suit is when you go away with us or some other fucking event. She's going to go, Lee, who the fuck are you? John Gotti. And you're like a nice double-breasted fucking suit. You know what I'm saying? And it's a utility suit, Lee.

It's not like you're dropping 500 for a suit and you're going to lose 15, 20 pounds and you look like a fucking moot. These are throwaway suits. Believe me, these suits, I'll bust them out two times and one night I go to fart in the pants rip and I throw them right away. They're no big fucking deal.

They cost you what, $66 a suit. So you really have no stock in them. But you got them in the closet. You look sharp, and guess what? She's going to expect for you to show up tomorrow looking like Lee. You're going to bust out with a nice jacket and a nice pink shirt, something to stand out with the Mexicans? Who's that handsome little Jew with you?

A pink shirt? Whatever. You got to stand out. You can't go in there with a white shirt looking like the rest of those fucking mutts. Right or wrong? If not, they're going to go, who's this fucking mutter? He talks about gluten. He works on a podcast.

Who gives a fuck? You're going to go out with them. You're the Jew in the house. that Mexicans wanted to be a Jew. You're a Jew. They all want to be attorneys. Right or wrong? What the fuck we're talking about?

The apples and potato? Absolutely. I'm telling you. It's all around you. You're going to spend $300. You're going to make her world. You're going to look sharp. You're going to get a fruit smoothie with a fucking chicken salad sandwich with an avocado on it.

Who's better than you? At like 10 in the morning? Who gives a fuck 10 in the morning? You're going to get up tomorrow? You still got some of that we left at the house, right? Hell yeah. So you bang out two little. hits, you don't commit.

Because if you're eating edible, that's a big commitment. By one o'clock, your eyes are spinning in your head like they're spinning now. But if you take two little bangers on the balcony, you get in the fucking car, you go down, by the time you get down there, by the time the suit's getting altered, you walk a block and a half. You put two more quarters in the meter. It's two-hour parking. You walk a block and a half.

You sit with the fucking Spanish people from El Salvador. You get yourself the sandwich and the smoothie, and then you walk back. Who's better than you? In the altar right there? And you'll be right in the back like a doctor. These aren't, listen, these are not okie-dote people. These people are prepared for war. They want every dollar in your pocket.

Okay. You only give them the small deuce. You follow me? So, yeah. And then you're in your car by 12. You're back over the hill with a new shoes, three suits, three shirts, and two o'clock you're in front of your fucking Nintendo, preparing your speech. Yeah, no, I tell them.

I've never, I've started to like lose some of the belly. Sure. Sure. With a fucking shirt now you look like John Gotti. What are you fucking nuts? We gotta get your little rug. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna get a rug.

That's terrible. Just a little top, something. A tube. Just a little tube to wear an emergency situation. You know what I'm saying? Do you know people who wear toupee? I don't know them per. Listen, I couldn't have a friend that wore toupee.

I got to have a talk with you. You would have to. grab it. Like, if you ever see it? No, no, no, no. That's disrespectful. You can't grab somebody's fucking poop. But you could talk, you know, no, no, no, I've never had a friend that had a tube. I dated a girl that a father was the king of the wigs. He'd bust out different wigs and get to look at him and make believe like, you know, you know, the king of the wigs. You know, you want to eat a pussy. You got to say, he's got a nice hairdo. You know what I'm saying? Once you tell you, your father's got a fucked up hairdo. That's it. No more sucking.

sucking. Up here, dude. What kind of wigs would he wear? Like, women's wigs? No, like men's wigs. But he fucking lost like the middle.

Like he had the sides. But some wigs he would wear and they look like George Jetson. Some wigs he'd wear and they'd have like a dippity dupe. He had like two or three different wings. Oh, poor guy. The thing is they come on and they think

like you don't know. Like you're playing a fucking joke on me. Like, I don't know you have a fucking wig on. If I put a wig on, I go somewhere like deep, like Michael Jackson deep. Like Michael Jackson had a wig. That was all a fucking wig. I didn't know that until I watched autopsy a couple weeks ago. So you guys got to stop watching autopsy.

That's the show on real TV. They got everything. They had Jimmy Hendricks dying on there. What happened to him? They had what happened to Jim Morrison. They reopened up the caskets, everything. Do you know people are getting beard transplants now? because like some hipsters are unsatisfied with their beer

so it's like an actual medical procedure so what do you do? I think they probably do the same thing like they do for like like they take it from the back of the head maybe I don't know how to do the research but it's an actual medical procedure let me tell you something I'm not going to lie nobody here

when I was a kid I played football and he was great just to get in shape and to put tape on my fucking legs. They told me how to shave my legs. I shaved my hair. My head never came back. I'm not a hairy guy at all. I got like three or four hair. My head, my ass is hairy. I got a cup.

I got a patch of hair on my left shoulder. Besides that, I got no hair on my back. I just started getting a earhead now at 50. I'm not a fucking hairy guy. But I got to tell you something. I couldn't fucking grow a beard. Never? If I wanted to.

I don't think you grow a beard. How long do you know me? It would take me a month to get what you have on your face right now. Yeah, I think that's normal. No. You shave three days. You look like some fucking burglar. I don't shave a fucking week.

I get three little fucking cat hairs. How long do they take you for the garage match? To grow that. A month. Wow, yeah. That's slow. A month. I have no hair.

So I get it. This is going. The hairdo is going. Any day now. Look at it. It's going. I don't give a fucking. I don't give a fucking.

I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's wanting me good. Listen, I'm lucky in a lot of guys, but if I was bald early out, I wouldn't have, you're great. You accepted it. When I had that conversation with you three years ago, you were like, what? I was bald in high school. I knew what my fate was. You weren't going to, did you at any time? Think about wearing a wig? Was there any depression in your life? No. At all? No, no, I'm not going to get girls, nothing. Not at all. Well, I mean, maybe that, but that's, I didn't have any control over it. So that's, that's something I like. Did you use profusioning? In the beginning? Yeah, when I was young. Did they give a prescription for it? Yeah, but then they found out that it kills your libido, so they took me off it. And it's kind of expensive.

And I tried the rogain. I tried everything, but... What's the rogayne? I've done foam. I've done, they have drops. They're supposed to put on your scalp a few times a day, but no one can remember to do it. Like, I just... And it, of course, it doesn't work, or...

I just... I love doing this now. Like, I have to just be better about shaving, like... like every other day because sometimes it gets too long, but this is great. And you're shaving the shower with the steam on? No, I shower and then I get out and shave. What are you retarded? What do you mean?

No, you're shaving the shower. Get yourself a fucking mirror that doesn't fog up, okay? Okay. And when you shave, you want your pores to be fucking open. Yeah. So you throw that hot water in your fucking head. You're in there for a little while, right? You go in the fucking shower, right?

Right. And you take the fucking shampoo first, and you'll wash your head. And then that washes the fucking elements and it goes into your fucking body. Then you take your fucking toothbrush and you brush your teeth really fucking good. In the shower? Fuck, yeah, the water. What toothpaste on your toes? I've come on my toes.

What toothpaste going to do? It's probably good for your toes. What do you have against just standing at the thing? Because what do I want to get out for? Why am I going to burn water two times? I'm in there already. Let me bathe on everything. So I just fucking hit those teeth harder than the motherfucker.

Everything. Above the back. When I'm out there, I just do. light brushes. When I'm in the shower, I fucking take that stick. I brush the back of my tongue. I almost choke. I fucking the tongue, everything. Then that comes out. Then I get the fucking condition. I put that in my hair. Then I get the lufa, and I put the soap on the luf and I lufa fucking fucking fucking fucing everything. They get all those dead molecules and all that dead fucking got skin off. I'm sweating coke from 1980-fucking four and chemicals and fat and

fucking chicken sandwiches and whatever the fuck I eat all those years. And right now, your pores are open. You're open. So right there, boom, you take that shaving cream, and you wipe it, you put it all over your fucking head. You don't need a mirror. What mirror do you need? Right here, you just poke like that,

and then you just go to town. You don't even need a mirror. You just go back with the heat on, the hot water's hitting your hair, your paws are opening up, you get another little soap, some Irish spring, you put a little polish in that motherfucker.

What I mean? You come out, you dry that little motherfucker nice, you put a little fucking grease on it or something, whatever fuck you got to shine it up with some cream, right? You put a little cream on your head. You have to shave on your head. Who's better than you? But why are you going to come out of the shower,

dry yourself, and go through the process again? I don't draw my head. I literally get out just in the jump like it. Well, you got to dry your head because the shaving cream won't attack the fucking hair follicles. Well, air dries. Like air dries. Air dries. What are you air drying?

I don't know. I'm fucking... What is wrong with you? It works. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. No, in the shower.

It's one movement. That's it. When you come out of the shower, you're done. You brush your teeth. You wash your asshole. You shaved your head. You fucking took the dead man out of your eyeballs. Everything.

One shot. Bam. You come out. You stick the... In your fucking nose. I had to break it. I got these white hairs in my nose and all this fucking spray and spray and my fucking nose.

So now it's... Like I got blow around my nose. People are looking at me weird like I'm doing bumps. Why are you looking at me weird for a second? I've never thought about doing anything. I know people do it, but I don't do the shower. I just started shaving the shower 10 years ago. I'm no genius.

I'm a fucking moron. Somebody told me once they saw I was cutting. They go, why do you shave? You're retarded. Shaving the shower with the hot water. It opens up your pores. It slides right through with some nice shaving cream. Okay, I'll get a mirror

And you know, yeah, one of those No fog mirrors And they really fog up, it's a scam But you just work with it Okay All those no fog mirrors They're a piece of shit I had a radio once

It blew up What the fuck Like one of those skateboards Those black dudes on skateboards They always blow Those of those things called The hoverboards Yeah they're made by the KKK

Those fucking things Have you seen the videos I've been blowing up? Oh please And black people are always flying to the fucking air. My shoes are on fire. Those hoverboards are KKK propaganda, dog. That's what those fucking things are.

Un-fucking bullion. People blowing up and these idiots driving down the street like nothing is happening. Jews on fire. Jews on fire. People going on fire in their houses. I saw the one with the chicken on fire. But did you watch the tape the other day of the high school band or something? The dude, the majority.

magician with the wand. I'm watching this news thing. The other night stone to the gills, I ain't bothered nobody. I'm sitting there and all sitting like an eyewitness news, an explosion of the high school or something like that. It was like a pep rally, and some dude was out there with sticks with fire, and it hit something, and it

blew up, and also you seen some kid just go and just fly up in the air, like he was on a, on a fucking trampoline and whatever the fuck that was. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus Christ. That's the best thing you got to tell me. I had a nice time with you, Tony.

It was nice to see you. It's going to be fucking Easter this weekend. Steve Simone's making a lasagna. He's back from China. Oh, yeah? He had a great time. I didn't talk to him. He's a little sick.

He brought back to the Chinese flu. So if you see him, you don't want to talk to him. Tom, you're busy till Tuesday. Tom's to go drink some soy sauce or something. Get that shit out of his fucking system. He brought that Chinese flu. flew back. That shit will never go away. That's why they walk around with the masks over there.

Oh. Fuck, I didn't know. So when he comes in here, you got to fucking spray everything down and, you know, wear like a repellent, keep the door open, put them by the door. Don't let the Espirititos mullahs get in here on Sunday. You know what I'm saying? You got to watch him, get some Lysol spread. Save the receipt. Okay.

Because if not, we'll be getting that Chinese fucking flu. Next thing you know, you know, I'm in a fucking hospital there. Cawfing and shit. Nobody knows it's wrong with me, you know what I'm saying? That's fucked up. The Chinese flu. That's scary. Who the fuck knows, Lee?

I don't know if it's a Chinese flu. He could have caught it on the plane in Newark. I'm just saying he was in China. Right. And he came back and he got the flu. Who do you accuse? Who do you accuse? Probably the Chinese.

Okay, then. What are you sitting there looking at me? You don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about, cocksucker. Listen, man. I got this company. They call me up. with different fucking things.

You know, half the things I tell them, I don't like what I'm done. Guys, come on, I don't want to fucking, this thing, you know, I look at the web page, I contact my attorney, we talk about it, I talk to Lee, you know, and we're like, I don't know. This is an idea that I dig.

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or your wallets or maybe an album, you know what I'm saying? I don't want my album to get lost. You know, we put them all over the place. Just do me a favor. Go to thetrakker.com and get 40% off your first tracker device, promo code church. C-H-U-R-C-H. As usual, on it, always there for me. I still haven't gotten my Doche new weight protein yet.

I'm still waiting. You understand? me, it should be here by next week so I can sample and tell you guys what I think. You know me. When it comes to almond, I like the chocolate hemp force. That's my protein. Every day, two scoops, a banana, four ice cubes, some water. Stop it.

A little Hershey syrup in there. Ba, ba, boom. Not a lot of Hershey syrup. Just a dab. Just a little sugar after the workout. No, just after the worker you want to dab a sugar in there. It's not bad for you. Boom, right down and there.

It's tremendous. The strong bone. Come on. The new mood. The new mood. They have the new mood, but you know what they have now? Where they have now? Oh, my God, they have this new alpha brain.

You got to go to the web page because I was reading about it the other day, and I didn't write anything down. I'm very sorry about that, my own professionalism. Just do me a favor. Go to honor.com for the great list of supplements right now. Why fuck around? Go to honor right now and pressing the code word. Church. CH, UR, C, H, and get 10% off your first order delivered to you.

your house. Talking about delivery to your house, let me tell you something. All right. A couple days ago, I got a box delivered to my house. They just sent it to Uncle Joey from Nature Box. This stuff was delicious. And there's nothing like getting home and having a thing of Nature Box on your

door. Nothing like it. And when they send you like a surprise pack, are you fucking kidding me? Oh, that's amazing. Because sometimes you could order what you want, but sometimes they send your stuff that you wouldn't necessarily order, but then guys like you and me smoke a drink. we break into the bag and they're delicious.

They sent me some French toast square. Just delicious type of stuff, all right? You're trying to eat better, but you think nutrition labels are confusing. Nature Box has a snack for that. They've taken out the guesswork and frustration so you can snack confidently and stop wasting time, sifting through nutrition labels. All right? You're trying to restrict bagel Friday, birthday cupcase, and bake sale Betty at the office. NatureBox has the snack for that.

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My personal favorites, okay, are the Pacific Plantains, the sesame sticks, the salt and pepper lentil loops, I love all this stuff. Do me a favor, right? NatureBox makes it easy for you to find the snacks you want without questioning what's in them.

Plus, they're constantly adding new and interesting snacks for you to discover. NatureBox believes you shouldn't eat something you don't like. So if you try a snack you don't like, they'll replace it on your next box. Bam! For free. Can't do that with other snacks, you know?

You never get that. Never. As of anywhere with any food. So do me a favor. Go to naturebox. com. slash Joey right now, get 50% off your first box. 50% off your first box are delicious, unique snacks without any of the junk.

That's naturebox.com slash joy for 50% off your first box of the best tasting snacks in the world. Naturebox.com slash Joey, 50% off right now. And guess what? Deliver it to your fucking door. Receivable packages. Naturebox.com slash Joey right now. I want to thank one more time. Tracker.

Tremendous. Go over there, get 40% off. I want to thank Honest. I also want to thank NatureBox. Nature Box. I want to thank my main man, Cassius Morris. I'm also letting you motherfuckers know right up,

straight up and personal. Next Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Breyer Improv. Leo will be there Thursday night. Tommy Easter will be there. Johnny Rock will be there. We got a... Jack Aseduliano be there.

That fucking... He's bringing the Armenians... So don't fuck around. If he did Alexis, come on down, cuckers. Besides that, I love you guys with all my heart. I'm also going to be in Indianapolis and Buffalo and fucking April. So that's it. That's all I got to tell you, your motherfuckers.

Have a great weekend, and we'll be back Monday night. All right? I want to thank Tracker, Nature Box, and on it one more time. And my little brother, Lee Syatt, for making this all possible. This show was brought to you by Tracker. never lose anything again get 40% off your first tracker device as a special for only

listeners to this show go to thetrakker.com and enter promo code church shows also brought to you by naturebox.com say goodbye to weird mystery ingredients and start snacking confidently with naturebox visit naturebox.com slash joey to get half off 50% off of your first box and shows brought to you by Onit go to onit.com news code word church to get 10% sent off all of their great optimization product.