The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #390 - Nic Gregoriades

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

Nicolas Gregoriades, a South African jiu jitsu black belt under Roger Gracie and creator of jiujitsubrotherhood.com, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: �� Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Datsusara: Go to DSgear.com and check out all of their great products, like gi's and rash guards, that are made with high quality hemp textiles. Use code Joey to get 5% off of your order.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 06/19/2016

This show is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free. With free shipping, you go to blueapron.com slash Joey. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible meals at home with Blue Apron. So don't wait. That's blueapron.com slash Joey to get your first three meals for free, and they give you free shipping as well. This show is also brought to you by Datsusara.

Go to DSgear.com for extremely high quality, functional gear. made with hemp textiles and they make bags, geese, rash guards, and more. When you go to DSgear.com, use codewordjoie to get 5% off of your order. And you go to Onit.com and use Coldwood Church. You're going to get 10% off all of their great optimization products like Alpha Brain, Newmoot, TrumTech Immune and TrumTech Sport. It's Coldwood Church to get 10% off. Oh, shit. Sunday night.

Monday morning. Well, I'm packing up my game and on my head out. West with real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts. That's right, cock suckers. The church of what's happening now. I'm a kid, rock it up and down your block. What's the date tomorrow? 20th.

The 20th. Tomorrow is shit. June 20th. 2016. You're still sitting there waiting to get hit in the head by the fucking meteor. But it don't matter. DJ fucking Lee, fucking it up. He's out, turn the music on too fucking early.

He's about to explode. And you lower the fucking music down. What am I going to do with you? Oh, I thought you should turn it down. No, no, forget about it. Don't worry about nothing. Forget about the start. You're all fucked up already.

I leave you two days alone, three days. Two days. I had $8.50 right now. No, you didn't have $8.50. I told you got to keep it above $8,900. every day you're over there every day I had three tons of polo what are you talking about yeah I got 600 milligrams what's all in 600

nothing happened to you're beautiful 11 o'clock and you were like tip top mcgou you were in training yeah you think so you woke me up at 11 I had passed out a little bit yeah for like because we'll like we'll move from like the living room to the bedroom and as soon as I hit the bed I'm done like we we turned on another OJ and I fell asleep immediately Jesus those stars are fucking strong man 600 milligrams But it's a, what else do you want to do?

Happy belated Father's Day, a happy Father's Day. I had a great Father's Day today. I babysat. She was fucking tremendous. The fucking heat, you know, 112 degrees in the car. But it don't matter. All that shit's nonsense. My main man is in the studio.

I'm really happy you're in here, man. I've learned so much from the videos. Professor Nick Greer. Gregori Adis. Grigory Ais. We'll work on it. You know what I didn't want to fuck it up. Thank you for coming on tonight.

I know that you travel extensively. Now the buddy you're waiting for. He does documentaries. That's the guy that's coming on Thursday? The guy that's coming? No, that's just a friend I met in Thailand. Oh, I thought it was the guy that does the documentaries because he hit me up about a month ago. Stuart Cooper?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be here at the end of the month. Oh, really? Yeah, I didn't know that. Who the hell knows? He's shooting documentaries all over the goddamn world. He's a cool guy. Yeah, yeah, he is a cool dude.

It's one of the main reasons I got turned on to you. like I said, was because when I started Jiu-Jitsu, I would go online at night, and I found the couple guys that were really, I found some guys that were just terrible on there. But the guys who caught my attention were like Matt Baker and yourself, your accent was fucking tremendous. I really dug it.

I dug how you did the moves. You were very informative to the newbie, where everybody else had overcome that. I don't know if you had made your videos for that reason, or if you just made them, like that to give that much information compared to what everybody else was giving on that it's like the basic uh three move thing you have from the closed guard i don't want to confuse people at home but the thing that really got me the reason why i enjoy jiu jih Tzu as much as i do is because of the

name of your webpage was bjjjabrotherhood dot com yeah jih jitza brotherhood dot com and it's uh why i found it jihad jit jujit too i don't know i love you either way it's just so weird that I've spoken to people about my goals with Jiu Jitsu. And I told you, a professor, when you first walked in, I said, Jiu Jitsu made me realize how many holes I had in my game as a human being. Never mind as a fucking jih Tijuana, just as a human being. If you were not able to fucking do a hip escape, it's time to fucking get one of those carts and drive down

and just keep drinking big slushes and people throw fucking donuts in your mouth, or you've got to get in shape. You got to do something. You know, when I first walked into over here, I was 340, some guy had me on testosterone which is no reason until he was like yeah we'll give testosterone you'll burn through the fucking weight no I was going home at night

eating the fucking refrigerator I'm starving and then I went in there and then I was in D.C. and I got a headache and this had too many red blood cells so I stopped all that fucking nonsense which never did shit anyway and it don't work on Cuban people it doesn't he had two clients in his whole

life because this has happened and my acupuncturist told me she goes to you're Cuban you don't need she knocked your wife up at 40 You don't need no fucking testosterone. Your testosterone levels are not low at all, you know. But it fucked me up how I had done karate from the age of six. I joined Kung Fu later on. Then I got in trouble.

I still lifted weights. I still did all these things. I joined the master's swim program for two years. I would swim three times a week. And I walked in there and I could swim, but I didn't know how to breathe under the war. There's a timing to it, the whole, with the breaststroke, and there's one with the overhead, whatever he called the one, excuse me, and what the fuck was he talking about? Well, I think that's the interesting part by people like Dr. Belize, because breathing is so crucial to everything.

Like, it's crucial to every athletic or just a living thing you do. But that was the main video that got me. You just said, get on your side. Yeah, man. I mean, look, there's something that I was taught, which is that, man, your whole state anywhere, like when you're sitting doing, a podcast when you're doing jih Tzu, when you're giving a speech, when you're standing in line at the supermarket, your whole state is always determined by your breathing. Like if you're breathing smoothly and evenly, right, then you're calm and you're zen and

you're, you know, you're in the moment, right? And you're relaxed. But if you're like, taking short, shallow breaths, you're fucked basically, right? You get afraid and nervous and there's tension in your body. And so it just made sense to me with, if that's the way it is in everything in life, it's especially going to be like that in jihitsu. And you watch all the top Jiu-Jitsu guys. I mean, I'm sure you've seen it now. When you go to the academy, the good guys, at the end of a sparring session, they're not like cuffing and puffing and panting. They're kind of, they're still pretty relaxed because their breathing is under control. Do you agree? Have you seen that? Yes, absolutely. So I mean, yeah, and then if you can carry that over, if you can learn to do that

while some dudes trying to strangle you, then it's going to be really easy to do it when the bartender gives you the wrong amount of change or gives you a dirty look. And instead of getting that response of like, you hold your breath and you get tense and angry, you can just be like, hey, this is nothing compared to when that dude was trying to break my arm and I just relaxed and I just relaxed and I just relaxed and I just, well, can I ask a question? Sure. For the breathing thing, because I noticed that too, that it's about that very high level guys are just, it's almost like they're like relaxed in there. As someone who is bigger doing it, is it possible to not have that breathing while still being overweight or is that something that Joey has to do is lose the weight? that's definitely on the fucking agenda. I know you have to do it, but could you get to the place where you wouldn't be breathing

heavy even if you still had the weight on? Yeah, I think so. I mean, look at Buddha, man. Like, think of every picture you've seen a Buddha, right? Like, he's a guy with a big belly, right? And he was fucking doing sitting in lotus position breathing and meditating. So he obviously pulled it off. So it obviously can be done.

I mean, Joey's breathing. You're breathing. I'm breathing. We can all do it. So I would say the answer to that is definitely yes. Yeah. I realized how much I wasn't breathing when I first started. And I realized now when I first had the sleep apnea,

I had my skin color turned into people like your skin color was changing because you're not breathing. You're not fucking breathing. Even now with the sleep apnea machine, you think about it, I have the mouth mask. That's why I want to switch to the nose thing. Because now I'll be able to free breathe. But I'm blowing that air out. And then I'm getting in half of the air from the tube and half the air I blew out.

Jeez. Oh, yeah, that sounds good. So when did you figure out you had sleep apnea? 2000, probably. 2001, man. And so now you're using machine? Yes, sir. And it helps?

It's a fucking drug. It covers, it's a mask. It covers what's going on. What happens if there's a fucking heat wave tonight? We have no electricity. Yeah, yeah. I don't sleep. There's always that fear.

Yeah, you know, I can fall asleep now. I lost, when I first got diagnosed to now, that was 110 pounds ago. So I've lost a significant amount of weight just doing exercises. And my breathing, I fall asleep in chairs now. Yeah, yeah. I could fall asleep on a plane if I had to, you know what I'm saying? A plane is tough because there's less air. Yeah, I don't like, in fact, I can't sleep on a plane, man.

No, it's really weird. It's really weird for some people. It's weird for me, too. You keep gagging and shit. I hate it. But I could sleep in a hotel room if I sit the pillows up correctly and I could fall asleep. Not an effective eight, but I'll get four in. maybe twice.

Okay. Take an hour and just, it's something that I should be working on. You know what I'm going to do here during this trip to L.A.? I'm going to go to a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. Have you heard about this? Yes, sir. Yeah, man, I've never done it before, but apparently, because you're breathing almost pure oxygen, right? And apparently helps with healing and helps regenerate lung tissue and a whole bunch of other cool stuff.

I mean, I don't know if it's true, but, man, I want to try it. out like this is the place to try something like that right all that stuff is available in south LA I mean in uh what do you call it a southern California area somebody recently said that this is the best area for jih Tijuana in the world right now yeah I mean this is the mecca right I guess is uh it used to be Brazil but all the best Brazilian guys are in uh in Los Angeles or San Diego now so um it's definitely it's definitely a good place to come yeah and I just if you don't mind me giving a shout out to my friend uh Tim Peterson. He is, I'm going to try to get you down to his school one day. He's such an

amazing jujitsu teacher, man. He's in Venice, you said. He's in West, L.A. I wish I knew the name of the area better, but I just used to get an Uber there, so I don't know where I am most the time. Just like take me to this place. You'll meet him. He's very interesting. And again, he ties everything together as well. It's all about movement and breathing. And, It's not just learning the moves, right? It's all tied together. All tied together. Yeah, yeah.

At first when I was learning moves, the problem was I was learning moves, drilling them twice, and then they were putting so much information in your head. What, Alberto's, you know, you drill two moves for 30 minutes. And by the time you drill those, you worked up with sweat. You've got your breathing going. And you remember them, right? And you remember them when you're getting jams. I also go to the droke last day at 11,

and I do everything there on my back just to get more comfortable. I don't get on top there, nothing. Everything I want to do there is on my back, whether it's an arm bar or a triangle. I'm not good at all my platters yet. I can't pull that off. But I like sweeping from there,

like collar chokes. I like all that stuff. Stuff that's high percentage, I don't have to fucking fly through the air. Because at the end, that's what's going to get you out of a jam. Joey, I'm not going to lie, man. As I said to you, before we started recording. I said to my business partner, I said, hey, I'm going to be going to enjoy

a day as a show. And he was like, yeah, that's, that's cool. I hear he's obsessed with jih Tjitsu now. And I was like, are you serious? Oh, my God. I go home at night. I stretch. You know, I have a B.J.J. thing. I log the moves I learned. I cover my mat time. I'll tell you why, I'm obsessed with it because finally I found something that could take my mind away from the bullshit of comedy. you know what I'm saying I mean not really you got into jihitsu you loved it

you didn't fucking know you became a blue belt you went to a couple competitions you became a purple belt you won some more they took it to Brazil I don't know what your background is so I'm just making this up and all of a sudden all of a sudden you went to Brazil and you're the first

English whatever with a black belt so you go back to England and you open up 16 schools and you're not your wife up and now you have these 16 great schools. You're one of the best jiu-jitsu guys in the world. But the guy in whatever side is robbing you, the other guy's doing this, this guy's doing this,

this guy's stealing your moves. This wasn't when you signed up for all. I think I understand what you mean. Even though you're making some money. Yeah, yeah. This is not what you signed up for. You know, I signed up for comedy when I read Lenny Bruce's book, how he would go back to the Chelsea Hotel, you know,

and hook up with you. strippers and eat ass and fucking shoot heroin and smoke dope with jazz musicians that was what I bought into you know that was the point of my life where I wanted to be and I was I was pretty happy if I just got decent at this but I learned the the work that you have to put into this and how you have to be consistent you know what I'm saying so when I see you guys on the mat I have the most I most respect because I knew you put that time in to this thing but then along the line it becomes somewhere else. You still love Jitsu, but you're

frustrated at everything else. Yeah, yeah. If it was up to you, you fucking burned down the other 14 schools, open one up in your fucking garage, and close it when the class is up to 10 people. Charge $7 or admission. Put whatever you can in the hat. That's

Jiu Jitsu. It becomes something else, and that's what comedy becomes. I think, but I guess my question for you is do you think everything becomes that? So let's say you want to be painter and like we could tell a story about a guy who started painting and the same thing happened to him eventually one day he's got a studio and people are paying him a thousand dollars to paint stuff and he's got a gallery and he's got a business and he just wishes he was back in his fucking studio

apartment sketching stuff and painting stuff that he liked to paint i mean do you think this happens with everything oh my god i guarantee at some point you're like why couldn't we just kept that one fucking store downstairs and made little fucking pills and sent them out to our friends and and everybody would have been happy. You know, I'm just saying. I mean, at some point, you know, there's an episode, do you ever watch vinyl? I don't, none.

Okay, vinyl. There's one episode where the wife to the record, he promises her money, but then he's tied on money. So Andy Warhol drew a picture of her, took a picture over, I don't want to say the wrong thing. So she takes it back,

and he goes, what are you wanting me to do? And she goes, I need for you to sign it. He goes, the only reason why you would sign it is if you're looking to sell it or whatever. And then she has to explain that she promised this benefit that she was going to donate $20,000 and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was thinking at that moment, I would feel complimented, but at the same time kind of fucked up. Because I was looking at Professor Nick one day and I saw him do this arm bar and in my mind I wanted to draw it from.

And I drew him in his blue ghee with the people. in the back and he put it up on his wall and then one day you come to me you got to sell it you know what I'm saying like yeah I get it that's not the part of the business I signed up for I found your beauty in that picture now you want to fucking sell it yeah so I think every angle at one part gets frustrated sooner or later turns into some yeah I mean my business partner is um he's a doctor and uh you know he were he's we went into medicine uh he told me because he liked helping people and he wanted to make a difference right, which always blows my mind because how many fucking people are that good, right?

How many, very few. So I've never been that unselfish in my whole life. So it always impresses me when he tells me that. And then he said towards the end of it, like he was just burnt out on the whole thing. He saw an aside of it that it wasn't what he signed up for, just like you said, it wasn't what he signed up for. And he's had to step away from it. You know, now he's teaching jitsu.

So it's like I completely understand. now I understand what you mean. And for me, with jihitsu, sometimes it gets like that, man. Sometimes I'm just like, oh, dude, do I really, in this aspect of it that I just don't enjoy. Like, I don't really enjoy the competition scene. And I don't enjoy the fact that everyone's always trying to kick the shit out of you all the time to prove themselves. But at the end of the day, man, it's given me a great life and it's allowed me to meet amazing people. And I can't complain.

Do you know what I mean? You travel all over the world doing jih jihad. Yeah, yeah, man. Teets and seminars the whole thing. Yeah, man. fucking every day man every single day i give thanks because it could have gone my life could have gone in many different directions and i'm very happy it went in this one you know if i was a if i was a music industry executive or a doctor or a stockbroker i'd have another set of

problems there's everything comes with fucking problems right i'm just i'm happy that i can deal with the jih Tzu ones yeah the secret is minimizing the problems like when you go in you're like this is going to be a problem but we'll let this be a problem and everything else will shut down. Yeah, but you don't, I didn't know, I had no idea what the problems would be when I was going in. Do you know what I mean? Like I had no idea that, hey, like I wanted a black belt, man, I wanted a black belt so fucking bad, right? I had no idea that when you get the black belt, then you got this big target on your back, right? I couldn't see that problem, maybe because I was naive or something, but I couldn't see that. So I think it takes a certain amount of experience

to get to the point where you can see the problems ahead of you. Now I'm a bit older and And, you know, I'm a bit more patient with things that I can think ahead a little bit more. But, man, as a 22-year-old kid, you just, I personally wasn't thinking like that. What made you walk into his school the first time? And you started where? I started, I was doing some, some Nogi stuff in South Africa. And I did judo when I was a kid. So I really, I could do, like, grappling, you know?

Like, I knew quite a bit about it. But then I was leaving South Africa because I was, I was kind of bored of it, to be honest. And I knew I had to go, you know, you want to go. go to a bigger pond type thing, you know. And I had a buddy who I trained within South Africa and I messaged him saying, have you found any cool academies? And you said, yeah, I found this place called, I trained at Roger Gracie Academy. It's really cool. You should come check it out. And so I just pitched up at Rogers Academy one day and knocked on the door and he opened the door. Like this was back when it was before Jiu-Di had even really taken off to the level. It's taken

off now. And I was like, this is cool. The dude's opening the door. of his own gym and he's standing there in his suit and like this is pretty cool like and then i went and trained with him that that very afternoon you know it's like it was just a really cool sequence of events you know i could have nowadays that's never going to happen you're not going to go and sign up at uh um hicks and gracy's gym and torrance and in 10 minutes you're going to be sparring with him that's just not going to happen um so it was very lucky and cool thing for me uh and yeah i'm very thankful for that and you're stuck it with that's day one You've been with Roger?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't, I'm not in England all the time now, and I've got my own organization now. So I'm not, but I still consider him my coach. And whenever I go back to England, I go to his academy and train with him. No, I'm saying at that time, you walked in there, a white belt, and you stayed there to get your black. How long? That was like four and a half years, I think. Yeah, four and a half years.

But, I mean, I was coming from a level of grappling. You know, I really knew how. how to wrestle a little bit, and I'd done some judo. So I wasn't like a complete, a complete newbie. You know what I mean? Right, but myself and least. You mentioned that you did judo. I hear a lot of people in doing judo now, which to me, I can see where if you're doing

MMA, that would be useful. But if you're doing jiu-jitsu, it seems like it's totally opposite. But maybe it's not. Maybe I just don't know judo. No, judo and jihitsu are almost exactly the same. They have the same route, which is Japanese jihitsu. and judo in its current form just focuses more on the stand-up aspect of the fight so it's more about throwing your opponent and pinning him right whereas jih Tzu focuses more on the the ground aspect

which is controlling the opponent on the ground and trying to make him submit but there's a lot of overlap like a high-level jiu-tzu guy will be decent at judo and a high-level judo guy will have a little bit of jiu-tizu knowledge as well so there's a lot of overlap How much do you as a martial artist now focus on, like have to focus on a lot of different styles? Like could you be as successful if you just did you do ditsu or does it help you to learn judo and to learn any other of the martial arts you do? Yeah, that's a good question. If I did, I mean, I don't compete as much as I used to. I do maybe one tournament a year.

And if I was competing, I would definitely want to go do a judo class because, because the fight starts standing up, so you want to be able to throw the guy properly, you know? Or if I was doing MMA, then damn, like, I'm definitely going to want to learn how to box or do Muay Thai or something like that. But, man, I'm getting a little bit older now, and I only really have the energy to do,

to focus on one thing. So I choose Jiu-Soo. Okay. I mean, have you ever thought about that, Joey, about going to a judo class? Fuck no. Fuck no. Those people throw you up in the fucking ass,

nah, nah, nah, nah. And there's a pretty good joint down here. Down in downtown L.A. over here, there's a fucking joint on here. The Japanese Cultural Center. They're very cheap. They have like two or three classes a day, a week maybe. You don't want to come in the air? No, dog.

I'm 53 years old. You're breaking bones. You don't recover from that shit. Next year, you know, I'm in a fucking school. That's a 20-year-olds to suck it in. You know, you absorb it. Your body learns to absorb it, five, six, seven years. Then when you're in your 30s, 40s and 50s, it's a little lighter, you know,

not to do the eGuchi and the flying fucking dragon roll you can't do that shit but you could still keep a very basic you know it's just uh yeah man i mean even judo for me man like i i used to teach jihitsu at a judo club in london called the buddhaquai which is one of the biggest judo clubs in europe and every single one of those guys every uh the judo players i used to hang out with them and we'd see each other and they're changing them at the bar across the street after the classes and stuff, every single one on those guys either had a jacked up knee or a jacked up shoulder, every single one.

And I just realized one day, man, it's not, the risk to reward ratio for judo is, I just don't want to do it. Pull the fucking guard. That's it. Pull the fucking guard. You're going to sit there, push him back and forth. Oh, they're hitting my feet, but your feet, which drives me crazy already.

They're touching me with those fucking feet, those hoofs. But, uh, but it's, uh, Do you ever do that? Do you ever make people laugh, Joey, just to, like, throw them off by the matches? Oh, I tell people all the time, don't even think about that elbow. Don't even go for that Camaro Cox sucker.

I'll get the gun, and they giggle their asses off. Because it takes my mind off the pressure. You know, it really does. At first, I'm going in, and my heart's beaten, and right there, you're already lost. Your adrenaline's already up. Your body already needs oxygen. I'm half out of breath. I didn't even done nothing.

But at the time, the guy would grab my lapel, my heart was. rate would be fucking one over 60. And it's like you're saying your webpage, you're just breathing and controlling yourself clears the mind and now let you attack and, you know, do whatever move you intend to do in or defense or whatever the fuck it is.

And I don't know where I lost it. But to answer your question, for me, Jiu-Jitsu from day one has always been about adding balance to my life, especially now. You know, right now I have every conversation if I want it to be, could be about fucking comedy. With my wife, even with

the fucking baby, you know. It ended up in fucking a podcast with Lee, when I talk to Rogan, when I talk to Ari. So I've always liked to have something else. And that, for me, balances it. Because when I go to the comedy store, everybody wants to take a picture, everybody wants to ask a question,

everybody wants to smoke pot, and I get it. When you're a fucking fat white bout, you're a fat white bout. Yeah, and you know your place, Professor. You go on the corner, you do each of hand, and the stronger you get, you move to the middle you know what I'm saying yeah and that's how I'd feel if I went to the

comedy store there you go like what the fuck is going on right you're in the corner pocket don't look at me shivering um and I'm man I want to find something as well for me that is to me what jih Tjitsu is to you you know what I mean and I'm always looking because uh balance as well I see it's a strange thing I notice with jitsu guys especially they get a lot of them get their lives way out of whack they're like I've got to train six days a week and they eat, sleep, breathe, shit jitzy. Which is beautiful. Which is cool, but you cannot sustain that indefinitely because soon or later you burn out.

If you do anything like that, anything, stockbroking, drug dealing, jihitsu, whatever the fuck it is, if you put so much of yourself into something at that level, it's not going to be forever. It just can't. Like, you just can't do that. Or at least I can't. And I haven't found any examples of people who just carry on from the age of 20 to the age of 60 doing the same thing without at least getting a little bit.

supportive of it or a little bit print out of it. I mean, if you can think of an example, please share it with me. I try. Early on, you see the people who, Lee, guess what I'm doing Monday? I'm going to die. Great. And all of a sudden, six weeks later, I see Lee and he's drinking water and he's got a headband on. He's running down the fucking street.

He's lost all this way. I call Lee two weeks later they go get pizza. He's still on the fucking thing. This kick goes on for about six months. He goes, he's drinking those kale shakes. He's going to fucking, uh, a therapist for whatever, and you just get so absorbed with something

that one day you twist an ankle. And now let you go back into another realm, and do you ever go back to success? Yeah, but now you see things from a different picture. That's what happens. You know, I didn't, my wife was pregnant. I like going to the YMCA, but I was kind of looking for something.

I was kind of looking for something. I was kind of looking to go somewhere and where for one hour I didn't have to talk about fucking comedy, all right? I could just talk about that arm bar or that fucking sweep. That's amazing. I do that fucking crowbar sweep. Unbelievable. Can I learn that?

Sure, man. And next to you know, people on top of you're talking to you, they're sweating on top of you. And for one hour, you forget that, you know, this guy wants to take a fucking picture with you. All you want to do is just exercise. So for me, that was the outlet. Sometimes I'm thinking about a joke,

and I can't settle the joke. I go to Jitza for now. By the time I come back, the joke is written. Because it took my mind off that for one hour. I don't take a cell phone into Jiu-Jitsu. I do not do that. I came up in a martial art system when I was six that the guy walked around with a fucking stick.

You didn't talk. There was no giggling. If you giggled at the fat kid that hit you with the stick, that hit the other guy giggling with the stick. You know, I mean, I came from that shit. That shit would not go over. You're walking in there with a cell phone and talking loud. And people didn't even talk to each other at that school.

They just went in there. But I learned a lot. It was a different style of learning. So I take it very serious, my jiu-jitsu. Yeah. And those guys help me on. There's a 67-year-old purple belt in there, and I watch him. I watch his training.

If it was up to me, I'd go on there six days a week. But I'll tell you what. I work on my feet. Yeah, yeah. I work on my feet. And I work Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. so I know for my feet, my weight, and my age, the recuperation, I could probably hit three a week. So what I do is if I could hit Monday and Wednesday in town, I'm on the road.

If you're somewhere, I'll go, but if not, I'll just do, I'll just work out at the hotel. But that's what Jitsu did to me. It made me look at things from a different perspective, which made me even healthier, even the breathing. Just blowing out all the air in your lungs, you know, instead of sitting in the fucking bottom of your stomach. all these things I learned in three years that I'm in shock and fucking shock. Good for you, Joey, man. I just, one thing I'm going to ask you, you don't like talking about comedy too much, but, you know, with Jiu-Jitsu, no matter how pissed off or I am or jaded or skeptical

I am about the industry and the community and like, you know, if I'm on Facebook and every single thing that pops up on my Facebook is a story about Jiu-Jitsu or whatever, like, Like, no matter how bored or burnt out I am on it, if I go and do a session, like, or just have a sparring session with someone, at the end of it, I always feel better. And I guess I'm asking you the question. I know you sometimes get, like, jaded on the industry, the comedy industry as well. Do you find that at the end of your comedy set, like, once you walk off stage, you were glad you did it, like you enjoyed it. Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Listen, it's, if I would have known what I know now, I would have kept my fucking day job. No. No, fuck, yeah. I would have kept my fucking day job, all right? And I would have got three or four nights of comedy, like your dad did in Boston. Now, because here's the thing. Sometimes I miss the, like, riding the subway. But then when I go home and I ride the subway, I miss having a car.

Right. I think if you had a job for 20 years being a roof, you'd be like, fuck, I wish I could have been in Hollywood. I just thought that comedy was something different guys. So if you're asking me, right now, I would have got a little part-time job. I would promote it four nights. I would have done like a steakhouse. I'm the host of an MC. We would have done two movies.

I was done 20 minutes. And I would have been satisfied with that. I don't know. I don't know why. I think that, and I'm not jaded at all, not by any means. What I'm saying is that I thought it was something different. You know, I thought that we were a little tighter. I thought that.

but okay I mean look man if you don't want to talk about this I understand but when you say I thought we were a little tighter

is this are you saying like comedy guys have kind of stabbed you in the back or is it no no not at all

I'm talking about in the sense it's just not even the Rogan thing at the store just little things like the people that I hang out

with we have a brotherhood what does that mean if somebody calls me and says I have a fall on Tuscaloosa it pays 15 $1,500.

I give him your name. And if he goes, well, I don't like Nick, I'll give him Lee's name. So at least we keep it in the family, you know. I have that network that's always helped me. That's what's kept me here, that little network. I thought it was just going to be a little deeper. Let me give me an example. For years through the podcast, people knew that I was working out.

Beside Daniel Lyon, maybe three people reached out to say, hey man, if you need for me to work with you. It was great. It really, like, one guy was too far away. Daniel Ryan sent me a book. But with Jiu-Jitsu, before I get on the plane every week, I get hit from three different schools. And they say, come in, can we teach you a move? I bump into people on the street, and they're like, hey, man, I'm a brand about

in this academy. I hear you on the podcast. I can make you a world champion. I'll help you breathe. I got three moves for you. So for me, the brotherhood thing really sticks out a little more. once I got involved with Jiu-Jitsu, I can't believe how many people go out of their way,

you know, to teach me a move or come over to me and they say, hey, man, we heard you say this about breathing. Try this guy. Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. I always say, you know, I can, and I don't say it to brag, I just say it because it's such a cool thing

and I'm so excited about it, but I can go pretty much anywhere, man. Any city, any major city in the world, I'll just send them a message saying, hey my name's Nick I train here can I drop in and 99% of them are like cool and I get there I might spend a week there and at the end of that week I've got like 10 new friends you know and these guys some of them become like like brothers not it no now they start showing up at your doorstep yeah yeah you start meeting them in Bangkok it's fucking tremendous amazing man like

like uh man I it's it's the network that jitza has has helped me with is unbelievable like just tomorrow I'm going for lunch with a guy from London who is high-up music industry executive at Sony music like high-up guy, right? Man, I would never meet someone like that in my regular life. It's jih Tjitsu that connected us. And he's like, hey, I'm in L.A. as well. You're in L.A. Let's go for a meal, kind of thing.

You know, and that's, I just find so cool. And that happens all the time. So, yeah, I really do appreciate that camaraderie in the jihitsu community. It's one of the best things about it, definitely. I go to Jersey sometimes. I'll tell you, the first year, maybe the first 18 months, every time I'm walking to a place, I used to tell Lee, I used to write my will.

I would hug the cats because I thought I was going to fucking die, you know? And I remember walking into a place in Jersey one time, and my fucking heart stopping. Like, even the girls were tough. Like, the three girls, and they were fucking tough. And the guy came over, what do you do? And all right, yeah, jump in. And it was just the passing drills.

Holy shit. I went flying through the fucking ass. I just kept flying. I just bam. Bam, bam. And it was a deep half they were doing to me. They were just deep half of me. They let me pass in the half car.

Just fucking throw me up in the air. It was like, wow, I got to learn this. Guy goes, come by tomorrow at 12. Are you here? He goes, I'm going to be here anyway. Somebody will be here. Yeah. We'll teach you to you.

I got there. I offered them down neck. Nothing. Nothing. Just come back to class, man. Every time you're in town, that's it, makes that promise. I went back to my family. That's not going to class again. You know, and I got a home there.

If I go to Jersey, it's just, I don't know. It's real, man. It's real. Like, that's the one thing I appreciate most about Jiu-Zitsu. It's like, man, you are fucking wrestling with that dude, and he's trying to strangle you and you're trying to strangle him. But at the end of it, you go get a beer or whatever. And it's, there's no, like, scheming and dealing and kind of,

There's none of that shit, bro. And I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that. There's a kid that I was training there for two weeks. Big guy. Fucking youngly. You know, 245, 250. Not muscular, but just a big guy.

He has a night job. You know, the first two days it was fun. After that, I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, I got to run with this animal again. And it's weird that when I was on the road, he's been hitting the classics. because he doesn't know his schedule, but he's been going for arm bars lately.

And he fucking almost has me all the time. I just pull out real fast and I flip him over the whole thing. And I can see he gets frustrated. And the other day, we bowed out and I'm walking. And I look at him. I go, Marco, come here. Get on your fucking back.

And we just started from one just drilling. I go, what you're not doing is what the professor taught me, you're not lifting that knee up so he can't pull his arm up. Oh, yeah, to drop the shoulder. Just drop your shoulder. Yeah, yeah.

So I remember you, just even the thing that really put me over, your arm bar was the hip movement up. I wasn't doing that. Yeah, no, exactly. And then so we drilled that and he kept looking at me like, oh, weird. And he's like, really? I go, yeah, you're not. You're strong in a boat. You got me.

You got me. The fucking foot comes over. He's like a size 19 foot. He's one of those fucking guys, you know. You see the foot dropping. You're like, oh, my God. How much of you didn't want to tell him how to do it? No, you have to.

Because I kept passing him and just laying on them. That's it. It's not going to keep doing it. And then by you showing him that, like he learns, and you learn as well by teaching it. Absolutely. It reinforces it for you. And that's, oh, man, it's just such a cool thing.

That's the shit when people say, get on top of me. You know, I'm having the problem with them mount. And they're like, get on top of me. And it's the end of class. I'm sweating fucking cheeseburgers and fucking French fries and fucking THC. This shit hits you.

Your skin turns colors right away, right? And these guys let me sweat on them. You know, at first it was like, what the fuck? And I'd be like, I'm sorry. I'm pleased. They'd be like, who gives the fuck? Go. Do the fucking move.

Do the move. Twist the arm. Go, go. And then they'll tap. And you're like, Jesus Christ, you're letting me do all this to you. You know, I'm a fucking gorilla. Look at my hands.

And they're like, this is part of the game. All that stuff kept me going back. Even though I'm horrible at Jiu-Jitsu, these little things kept me going back because the guys are cheering for you. Everybody's cheering for you in that fucking room. A lot of times people come up and go, we're happy you're here.

You just come in, just to see you in here. You know, you're an older guy. It's perfect. You inspire me. So I dig it. It's my little fucking... Good for you, Matt. I'm ready.

I'm happy to hear that. And as I see, said I never I never kind of pictured you as a jih Tzu guy, but I'm happy you're in the brotherhood. I was always a closet of jih Tijuana. Okay, because here's the problem. The worst thing is growing up somewhere and they have a soccer team. Okay, okay. I'm from Jersey. So if we meet on the street, we're going to have a fucking whatever and you're going to go so you like Springsteen. You're going to assume I'm the type of guy, the more you beat me up with Springsteen, every time I see him, I want to stab him. Every time I hear him on your little victrola, I want to fucking blow, light your house on fine.

I really don't want to hear Springsteen. So you really don't. You really fucking don't when you're from Jersey. I was there in 84. Everybody had on fucking born in the USA. How many fucking born in the USA's can you hear before you snap? You know, when you're from a certain town in England, you have soccer teams. But some people just don't like those fucking teams.

And they don't get it. How do you? You're not a New England fan. Right, absolutely. So I moved to L.A. I come from Cuba. I joined Gosu Karate. Then I joined Oishon Roo Karate in New Jersey.

I get like a purple belt. I go to a few competitions. I always take first for form. In those days, there was no contact. There was the body to the waist. That's it. And then I stopped doing it. I got back into it when I was maybe 28.

I did it in Colorado, and I did it here when I moved here in the beginning, right there on Sunset Boulevard. My point being, I was always a flying through the air type of motherfucker. then Joe Rogan and then he brought will come into my life and they won't shut the fuck up it's like a broken fucking record to both them jujitsu sweeps I thought a sweep

was when I hit your leg in the 70s the sweep was I faked high and then I took your leg on you went spinning backward or I did a spinning sweep where I dropped and my leg would take your front leg out that's the 70s if you watch kung fu films from the 70s everybody was fucking sweeping it no more because the karate kid two

or he's got all karate kid one sweep the leg always You got a sweep, but not that sweep. In the 70s, they spun sweep. So they'd set you up with the fucking high spinning back kick. They'd miss on purpose, and they'd throw another high spinning bucket at you. And then they'd suck you in with the timing. Oh, yeah, I'm going to do this again.

You move two inches in. You fucking, you're heavy on your back foot. I do the spin back. You go backwards or you charge. Once you charge, I'm getting one of those fucking legs. And it's coming out of you the speed of fucking light. That was a sweep. in the 70s.

So these fucking momos are talking about sweeping and arm bars and Camoras. They wouldn't shut the fuck up. And they would say, when are you going to come down there? I'm not, because you guys won't shut the fuck up. I don't want to end up like you two fucking idiots. You know,

you travel with them, you're in the middle of the fucking, you know, a nice hotel, and they'd bring home four fucking guys. And in the middle of living room, you know, when you're going to a hotel,

there's a lounge with carpets. Yeah, yeah. They'd move the fucking furniture and start jujitsuing each other down there with their shoes off. How embarrassing, road men, and you'd walk. I'd just be embarrassed like what's going on here these are white people you can't be

doing this shit he can't be fucking jiu jihitsu in the lobby one time they jiu jitzu in the lobby of the improv and now this is fucking 12 years ago this isn't just now and everybody thinks they're fucking black dragon I'm talking about this is when nobody was jujituan then they got that kid Denny Pruktopus remember that kid you know any prokipos he's a friend of mine okay Denny Pruktipus I love my fucking heart he's my nephew I love him to death Remember, I know that kid when he's 15. They were sneaking that poor kid into comedy shows. In the middle of comedy shows, that kid always, I used to call him fucking, the Johnny moves.

Because he in the middle of he let the adults talk, and he'd go, I have a move. Watch, watch this. And also, he would do it to Eddie and Joe Rogan would go, that's not going to work. And they'd start arguing. This is when he was a fucking kid, that's how long I know fucking Debbie. He's a great kid, Denny. And I'd sit there and go, these kids are fucking, they won't shut the fuck. up in my back of my heart.

I would go, when are they going to take their cocks out and start sucking each other off? Swenson for all. All barefoot here. Who takes their fucking shoes off in a fucking dining room area? Just take your dick out

and start sucking each other off. And then I would go to Tech Planet. And I go, this ain't going to work. This is not going to work. Men's sweating on me, people's feet. That Camaro, I appreciate it, Camaro. But why is this asshole so close to my ear?

That's not going to work in my world. Forget about it. That's how I do. I watched it. But then I saw it from a different perspective as like you get punched in the fucking head. My momentum coming on top of you, I'm pretty much done. If you're a brown belt on above. I saw it with Nate Diaz, I think.

And I saw it with Joe Loz on, especially. He can be losing a fight and getting beat up. And all of a sudden he's got the guy in a fucking arm bar. To me, that was something out of this world. I never saw nothing like that. And I kept seeing it. And I was like a closet jihad jitzy. that I didn't

I would watch the no ghee because of Eddie Oh yeah There was something missing And there would always be some Geeshit in the bomb I started watching the geese shit And my cousin's a black belt

And his name was Julio Rodriguez He's a Santos out of Dallas Is his fucking black belt Tanks or something like that So he would always talk to me About jiu jiu-jitsu So I'd be like coast to coast

I go that's what I fucking hear about It's fucking jiu jiu jitza You know what I'm that Yeah we got you in the end bro But yeah, I kept watching and watching and watching. I'd be scared shitless. I'd be scared shitless. I'm like, I don't know how these people do this shit, you know.

And one day, I just said, fuck it. Take a chance. Columbus did. My wife was pregnant. You know, I was about to have a kid, and I wanted to be active when she was alive, and I wanted to be part of something. I wanted to go somewhere three times a week and just fucking chill out.

You know what I'm saying? Hit it, daughter. Look at this. He's slipping again. go fucking hot out jack i want to be around sorry man like uh we got to

you gotta go no no no no i'm just uh no one want to get some man no i'm cool time you want some more water i'm totally fine you want a mushroom

singing you know a mushroom I see the devil mushrooms yeah it's a mushroom we gotta have we got a liquid acid you know us we got a TAC and a tube

you can bring it back the fucking Australia we Oh, man. Jesus. It's a real place, yeah, thanks. Yeah, thanks, thank you.

Oh, man. I'll tell you what's a trip on. This, this fucking city is a trip from. This place is a true. Like, it never ceases to amazing when I come back here, just how fucking strange the energy is in the city. I don't mean bad. Just strange.

Let's talk about us. So you live right now at this present moment. Where the hell do you live? Man, I live wherever my three suitcases are, basically. My business partner would probably argue and say that I live at his house because whenever I travel, I go through London at some point, and I end up staying at his house for a couple of weeks. So that's the place I spend the most time.

but about three and three and a half years ago, I just, I made the decision. One of my online businesses was starting to make a little bit of money. And my landlord in London wanted to put my rent up. And I just said, you know, it's just not even worth it for me to stay here anymore. You know, like I'd taken a holiday to Thailand and I had an amazing holiday stayed in a really good hotel for fucking, I think like 500 bucks a month or something. I mean, dirt cheap. And I just thought to myself, what's the point of staying in London here? like just go see the world. So I sold or gave away everything I owned. I didn't have a girlfriend

at the time and I just headed out on the road. And yeah, man, I spent like, I've spent the last three and a half years just going kind of in a loop from Asia to England to US, just in a kind of loop because I met a girl in LA about two years ago and she's not my fiance. So I've been here with her or she's come to meet me in England or meet me in Thailand or she's coming to me to South Africa. I mean, it's just been this crazy jumble of travel and jih Tjitsu seminars. And I've just been on the road nonstop. So I haven't lived anywhere, man.

I know it sounds crazy. What goes down in Thailand? Give me your basic guy. I fucking think about Thailand and I pass out. Fuck, man, that place. How crazy is it? It is the craziest. It is the craziest.

And you can find amazing. little villages where people are living in huts and none of them even have smartphones and you know it's the most beautiful unspoiled place and then you can go to uh the street in bangkok called soy cowboy which is where all the bars and strip clubs are and it's the most depraved crazy fucking thing you uh dirty bitches people i was going to dice gambling oh dude and you know the interesting thing about thailand um the taii pei people um the type of you people that they call Thailand the land of smiles and the people always smile. They smile. They give you this big smile. But if you cross those dudes, they will fuck you up so badly, man.

Like literally, especially if you're a tourist because they, I mean, you're a guest. And I remember I was, I was out at a bar one night, an outdoor little little pop-up bar type thing, you know, like in a little street. It wasn't like a, it was a little bar that basically puts all the tables and chairs out in the evening and then puts them away and you wouldn't even know it's a bar at the of the night. And me and my friends and I arrived there and there were some guys sitting at a table and half the table was free. So my friends said, hey, can we sit here? And the guy just, he had an attitude. He was like, hey, man, this is Bangkok. So wherever the fuck you want. I remember thinking, man, this guy's got a bit of an attitude. That's not necessary. You know, like, anyway, we sat down

and then at the end of the night, well, not at the end of the night, about an hour later, these guys got up to leave, the guys that were there originally, I think they were German tourists. And they didn't want to pay their bill. They were like saying, oh, you ripped us off. This isn't the right amount. You've charged us too much. And the, a bunch of high guys came and all the waitresses came and they came around all the white people. And they took all of our cell phones, right? They took all of our cell phones. And then they surrounded these four German dudes and just kicked their shit out of them. Literally kicked the shit out of them. And then gave us all our phones back and just carried on with the rest of the night.

And that was when it hit me like, they say this is the land of the smiles, but do not fuck with these people because they will take you out. So yeah, Thailand's wild. Thailand is wild, Joe. You should check it out one day. I think you'll appreciate it. Are you fucking crazy? Now let me ask you, is you teach seminars there?

Yeah, I've taught a few in Thailand. Yeah. They have a lot of jiu-jitsu in Thailand? Growing, man. Growing. In Bangkok, there's like a big scene now, a good place called Arete. a friend of mine Andrew MacDonald owns

it's a cool place I strongly recommend if anyone's traveling go check that out man jujuice is everywhere now everywhere like you can go to fucking Cambodia and find a jihitsu academy I'm sure

you could go to Rwanda I'm sure there's a jih Tzu academy popped up there like it's just spread like wildfire What are the other places that are the other favorite places that you're going to

Have you been to Japan? No man that is a fucking trip as well that is a I mean And I love a Brazilian jihitsu there too. Yeah, yeah. It's getting pretty big there as well because you know they're, you follow UFC and stuff, right?

But before UFC, the big thing was pride. Yeah. So, I mean, they all, they all know about that. I mean, that's where it all came from, dude, it's Japan. So they, they're not strangers to it. But you know how the Japanese are. They're super efficient and clinical and they're like, and it shows in their jihitsu. They're like, they're all like, like guys.

because you know Japanese people aren't generally big, but God damn, they move like ninjas, bro. You know, so I enjoy Japan a lot. I enjoy the culture. It's a fantastic place. I highly recommend it. Well, I've heard people talking about taking, like, train cations. Like, people would go on a vacation specifically to train at a new gym or to take seminars. So even if someone's not, like, they could just go and be like, hey, let's go to Thailand and just train the whole time.

Yeah. That's, I would like to think about going on vacation. I don't even want to go to the hotel gym a lot of the time. I can't imagine going to go to like seminars. It's crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's a fucking adventure. It is, right. It's a fucking adventure, you know.

What's his name? The cook, the fucking chef. Anthony Bourdain? Anthony Bordane, Blue Belt. You know, I think he should be adding it to every goddamn show now. I think he should be shown the jih Tzu place at that city. It's interesting you mention him because I had just, it's the strangest thing.

I just taught a seminar in the Philippines. I can't remember when it was about six months ago, seven months ago. And the week after I left, Anthony Bourdain was in the Philippines and he went to that same Jiu-Jitsu Academy where I taught the seminar. And I thought that was pretty cool

to know that Anthony Bordane had been there. I was sad to have missed him, but I thought it was cool. Well, he's only shooting in places now that he knows there's a great Jiu-Jitsu Academy. Oh, seriously? So it's included. and part of his

that city pick now with CNN. You know, I always hope to see the Jiu-Jitsu place at the city where he goes. I think it'd be pretty cool to add it to the show.

I'm gonna produce. They don't give a fuck. You know, CNN don't give a fuck about me. So I just thought it would be interesting. And sometimes he does. Sometimes he has, but I thought it would be a lot more. That's what I'm trying to say to people.

Look, the thing about Jiu-Zitsu, though, unless you know what it is, It looks pretty fucking weird. I mean, let's be honest, right? It's two guys in their pajamas rolling around on the floor. So I can understand how to the average person, that's not the coolest looking thing on TV. You know what I mean? Like, if you're the producer, you don't want to be showing too much of that because you get what I'm saying?

Yeah, absolutely. But once you understand it, even a little bit becomes totally different, you know, and I think you'll find that it'll become more more popular as people start. You know, the UFC's done so much to help it. It's only going to continue. I shot this little documentary about five years ago, myself and my little partner at death here. And we went to visit this guy, Carmine the Torch Balzano. He's a little fucking crazy.

He's always been crazy. But in the whole conversation, he said something. We asked him how old he was, and he said like 72. And he go, you still work, and he goes, if you stop using it, you lose it. Okay. Kickboxing, you know what? You go to kickbox over here. You throw two elbows.

and two like things. And you do it repeatedly. You know what? And it moves you a little bit analytically. But when you go to Jiu-Jitsu at 55, you're thinking completely differently. I did coke for 27 fucking years, and I stopped.

And it's kind of the same addiction. Like, I want to go to J-Jitsu every day. I just can't fucking recover. But when I'm not there and I'm not writing a joke and I'm not doing something that's meaningful, I'm sitting there thinking and how come that arm bar works. Do you know what I'm saying?

I'm thinking they're going the next time I got a class. I got to try that fucking Camor. That guy showed me. You know BJ Penn, right? Yes. Yeah, I remember reading in one of his books, how he said when he started jih Tzu, there was a point where he, it was literally all he thought about. He'd be at the breakfast table eating, and he wouldn't even be thinking about the food.

He would just be thinking about a specific move or technique. and I guess what I'm saying, Joey, is that you might be the next BJ Penn. It's just little things. Like, when you leave there, you ask the Purple Belt, why didn't that work? And he'll go,

your foot was six inches from my hip. Now, on the drive there, you're like, guess what? First thing today, I'm going to try that move again. And this time I'm going to lock his fucking head. I don't give a fuck. After the warm-ups,

that's exactly the move I'm going for. Whether I get this, submission or not. I'm just going for that six inches today. That's six inches. So, guess what happens to a guy like me? I start smoking fucking dope. Listen, I'm very motivated. I got the kettlebells in the trunk. I go down to North Hollywood. I get water. I do 10 sets of 10, 10 cents of 15. I do some cleans. I do some squats. I do some farmer walks. I do some fucking syps on an eight-pound ball. And then I stretch out and I get in that fucking car because I'm drenched and I'm coming home. I love it. That's all great. And then, I go to the YMC.

and walk for 42 minutes or 45 do the Dolce fucking walk you know get off there do some weights whatever I'm saying it backwards but the jiu jitsu would I leave there it makes me think number one and number two I'm doing the hardest thing I think I could possibly do at this point in my life so when I walk out of that one o'clock guess what good luck good luck you're not stopping me I'm gonna go home and do this do this do this write that email I'm not what's that word that we do when we think about doing things but you don't procrastinate no all the procrastination's over I procrastinated for 15 minutes but from a quarter to 11 to 11 o'clock I'm giving myself the reasons why I shouldn't go to Jitza yeah I'm not going to go today man I still do

that as well I still do that then you breathe that me then about 11 o'clock you go okay and now I get ready I run in the room I drink water I take a baby baby has for my heart. At 11 o'clock, I do the exact same shit every day. Sometimes I make a protein shake. It's got a little caffeine in there. I do that.

And I put my knee pads on. I make sure I wipe my ass. It don't stink like 10-10-de- fucking cat's asses. You got to wipe your ass. You can't go in there with a stinky ass. I really took a shower. Hey, trust me. I'm very, I love the whole cleanse.

That's why I don't like the 6 a.m. class. People breathe on you and shit. They go in there with greasy hair and pussy on their breath. the night before they don't put under on the odor it on they're fucking reeking in the morning they're on fire you know what I'm saying you can smell their balls through the ghee the fucking coat the cape you're down there they're going Jesus Christ you stink to death that's why I avoid all those seven o'clock fucking workouts people if you don't like bad brat and fucking body odor do not go to a 7 a.m. class because those billy goats won't even take a shower they come straight from the bath they brush their teeth and they hit you with that corn Coffee cigarette breath that fucking, that shit goes into your t-shirt, that old mule, that don't brush their teeth. Listen, listen, the professional does not brush their teeth before coffee, okay? He fucking has the coffee, a couple cigarettes, 22 bong hits. Now your breath smells like a fucking sewer.

You got a listerine with the old shit, not the blue shit, the shit that burns your tongue and stuff. I never knew how bad it was after a protein shake. What? Your breath. Oh, yeah. Like the protein shureen. shakes. I was walking around one day. I was like, oh shit. I had to brush my teeth

in the middle of the day. Yeah, dude. Don't drink many of those myself. If you can smell your own breath and it's horrible. It's a horror show. So those people, like, kickbox and I hate the cats at 7 a.m. Until I caught a whiff of fucking bad breath. I was dizzy for too much.

I was like, I can't live with this shit. Yeah, I will say there's been certain times in Jiu-Sui where a guy, his personal hygiene may not have been the best, and like, he's sitting on your head and you're just like, why am I doing this to myself? Now, at two in the afternoon, I can take a smelly asshole. I'll just look down the way.

I'm maneuvering my arm in there, but in the morning you're not fully awake. You forgot about the hook. You forget about the fucking block, the frame, and all of a sudden you're inhaling that fucking muffler or that dead foot. They don't wash their feet. The heel is dirty from the night before. They went home and slept with dirty feet. Who does that?

Who does that? What savage does that? You go home and wash your feet every night? Absolutely. You got it. How do you do it? You just put the top of water on and you go on there and loosen up your toes. Then you take the fucking handcloth and you just wipe out between your toes.

I'm moisten my fungi toy every night. I was going to say, maybe that's how you got the fungi toes. No, I had the fungi toy from years of abuse. I'm not trying your feet properly, bro. I'm tall because I wear Adidas. And there goes old fucking leather. My wife always goes, why do you still sweat? Use those old school sneakers and shit.

Your feet are all moist. You got to wash your feet at night. That's all I'm saying. Especially if you got dirt on your heels. You know what I'm saying? You got dirt on your heels? Man, I'm going to be straight up honest with you. I didn't wash my feet about two weeks ago.

And my fiance gave me so much shit about it. So she's going to love hearing this. I probably should have mentioned that, but she gave me so much shit about it. That's true. We don't do certain things. You go to Jiu-Jitsu. You can't go home in the hunting. I'll suck my balls.

Did you do that thing? yourself after two hours a roll and what's your asshole smell to get those juices mixed you gotta go put some water in that fucking canal you know what I'm saying? It's Sunday nightly it's Monday we gotta drop knowledge on it. Sometimes you gotta talk about fucking hygiene

whatever the fuck of this. I'm a fat dude I've always been paranoid smelling like products like that's my biggest fear like that's one of my the other day somebody said for some people they did a survey that debt is not their biggest fear is the

fear of public speaking. I've heard that before. I've heard that before. That's number one fear of people. You know my number one fear is feet, touch immense feet. That's why when I went back to Jitsu, when I went to Jitsu, I overcame so many obstacles. Like, I want to stay in white belt forever because if not I got one in toehold, that's not my world at all. I'll never touch your feet at all. You can do whatever fuck you want to do. I like the Camaro on the ankle. That'll work for me. I grab underneath and do that shit and flip it over. That'll work. I don't have to touch the foot. But everything else just didn't worry.

I'm telling you, I'm one of those guys, dog, that always had skin diseases. When I was a kid, I had ringworm every summer. And I'm not a dirty person. I just played in the woods, you know, playing with sticks. You grew up in Cuba, yeah? No, I grew up in New Jersey. Oh, right, right. I'd be very interested to see when jihitsu, if and when it gets to Cuba,

what kind of jih Tjitsu players they all produce? Because, man, the Cuban guys are the ones that I've heard about. in various sports are so fucking good like they're amazing in baseball and boxing and I mean they're always like plays well in the Olympics right they're just a very athletic nation yeah it's not by choice you know because it was communist communist yeah but here's the beauty about Cuba that because of their Russian influence there was a lot of judo in Cuba there's a lot of judo in Cuba you know what's his name little guy that just lost to Dan Henderson uh the judo Olympian it's now the UFC, the 38-year-old

that tested positive than Romero. Oh, right, right, yeah. Background, because that was always an option in Cuba as a young kid. It was such an option. That's why you would giggle them before. I don't giggle. No fucking reason, guys. I giggle because

I know something. Yeah, when I was a kid, Martin Perez was a big jih Tzu kid. You know, I grew up in an neighborhood in the mid-70s. I'm a lot older in next, so, professor. So, in those days, not everybody fucking went to the same shit.

You know what? You didn't like karate. See, you weren't going to go to karate. So you went to Taekwondo. This kid didn't like Gush and Roo karate, but you like Kempo karate. And then the other kid up the corner, Mario Diaz, the Cuban Chinese kid,

he took Fu Jopai Kung Fu. And then the other kid, Martin, took judo. So at night, we'd all go to fucking Mario Diaz's house. He had a basement. Everybody would teach their perspective move. and the judo kid seemed interesting and that day he shot

you know he just showed what you see on Channel 7 the fucking hip tro and something else and it was very interesting it's about a week later I went down that I had a ghee laying around

and put the guy I must have been fucking 10 years old oh my God oh my fucking God that was not for me and that dude was whipping those kids that dude was straight up punching you in the chest

he didn't fuck around everything he was a Cuban dude but all his commands were in Japanese and all your commands back to him how to be in fucking Japanese. There was no giggling. There was no outbreed. In those days, if you tapped out,

can I take five minutes? He'd fucking abuse you. He'd fucking abuse you. That was mental abuse in those days. He was on 7th in Bergen-Lyne Avenue. I never forget this as a child. But I remember going to two of his class and going, you know what?

The same for me. Just too much discipline or what? It was too. You can't live like that. He would hit you with a stick. He kicked you if you were breathing heavy. Like, you had one dad. The most memorable thing was a kid slammed the kid,

and he hurt his shoulder, and the kid was crying. And he came home and just kicked him in the fucking shoulder. The same shoulder? The same shoulder. And he goes, that'll snap it and get up. And I'm fucking like, you know what? They're saying for me. So I took my little fucking judo gee,

and I took my party up to a guy named Richard Bowie Aikido. This is way before fucking Steven Seagau, people, okay? He was there until about 10 years ago. Richard Bow, Sr. Senior, had it. By now he's not even white no more. The kid was like half-age. Over the years, he married a Japanese.

So I went there for a few weeks, and I thought that was just bullshit. Just like two, too. I was going to go home and practice at the people in my mom's bar. It never worked. You know what I'm saying? Those are the villains I got to fight. Other people at my mom's bar.

They're like, It would never work. The wrist locks and the taking with the movement. I always got stuck somewhere. So after about a month, it just wasn't practical. So I just stuck with that shit. But judo, fuck that shit. That experience was horrible.

I mean, to be fair, he sounds like a pretty crappy teacher. Might have been different if you're not a different. Yeah. I can a little kid in the shoulder. Let me tell you what the weird thing is about this story. Oh, you haven't? That's not weird here? No.

never told that story before B. In those days, it seemed like all the martial art programs were very rough on kids. Because I had a guy. When I was in New York, he was rough. Like, he made you run outside barefoot in the snow with your fucking gea.

That's a nightmare. But the guy in New Jersey had this he wanted to see your report card. He would punch in the chest in time the fucking time. He would take the ear out of your stomach. Yeah, there's that but then. They were all like the karate kid, that guy existed

in the 70s. The karate kid, the bad guy? Yeah, yeah. Those guys exist to take out his knee. They practiced that. He would be like a Vietnam vet. When I learned, it was really funny. I learned from two Vietnam vets. So something, but this guy, you know, it was just guys that were just bad people.

This guy happened to Bronx in those guys. That was a white dude. That was an evil motherfucker with his students. And the first time I saw the karate kid, I thought about that guy. But anyway, most more Even people that I graduated high school with that I kept in touch with years later joined martial arts as adults, like 25-year-olds. And when I would go home, they'd tell me about their experiences. They all became like purple bouts at a taekwondo place, like three of the girls.

And they would smoke pot before they'd go in there at night. They would go to work and then smoke and then go in there. And they said that they were giggling one night. The guy took the sword out. That was with the fucking, the one that's a stick, but it's really a sword. And he goes, he just. just fucking whipped us in the back. We never went back.

We were like, fuck this. Three years, you're going to whip us in the fucking back. You know. Dude, imagine when that happened today. Like, you'd get sued instantly. Just think about it. You'd have like child protection services and God knows what else if you did something like that. Well, I was in the seventh grade, I played basketball.

And the different coaches were people who worked at the school. They were either the track coach or the seventh grade algebra teacher. You're right over there. You're looking at people with a trip and look at Lee. Lee, you're ready for another start? Absolutely. So everybody who worked at these things were people who, I don't even think the gig paid in those days. I was a young kid, but there was a coach down at Kennedy School.

His name was R-U-G-A-R-U-G-A-R. He in the fucking 70s. He was, you watch basketball? Watch basketball. We have any interest? Not much. There was a coach here in the Lakers years ago. That was a good-looking dude.

Went over and started coaching in Miami. I forget what his fucking name was. But he started wearing the $800 suits and shit. Pat Riley? Is that him? Matt Riley. Yeah, good-looking dude. Yeah.

So, already in the 70s, Coach Ruggard dressed that way. And I heard one, like, Coach Ruggar was one of those coaches that if your team sucked, he would run the score up like 100 to fucking 12, but the beauty of it was in the fourth quarter, he'd still be yelling.

Pras, press, and it became a fucking joke for years. But I heard stories about when they lost. What did he do to them? You know, the 70s was a different fucking decade in this country. Man, you can't leave it like that. Let's hear it, man.

You know, he made them, like they got back that day, they went to school, and at 3 o'clock, he made them run for an hour, with their hands up in the fucking airlock. And if you put your hands down, you got kicked on the fucking mid-sex

in those days and called the pussy, you fucking cunt. You know, it wasn't what it is today. You know, the coaching. You know, Bob Hurley, the guy from Jersey City, you're not familiar with that. Great coach, fantastic coach.

But, bro, I heard some of his fucking speeches growing up, and I was like, like, damn! But that's what you've got to do to young men who are at that age, that they're fucking cuter than you. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I just find that human beings, they learn better when they're having fun, right?

Oh, no, no, no, no. You learn a thousand times better when you're having fun. But it's just weird how at every school, they had one person who was known. When I went to school in the seventh grade, we had Mr. Kingwall. And everybody knew that when you got to the seventh grade, if you had a problem, it was going to get out on Mr. Kingwall. Because he was going to go out of the way to fucking find it. And he would break your balls. He was just one of those guys.

He had hit a few teachers. He had hit a few students. But that was the wrong school district to hit students. So one time, the one father came in and beat the fuck out of him. Not in front of me. This is like two years ahead of me. The guy came in at quarter of three. And he let him in straight up.

Mr. Carvow, I had a cigar in his mouth, took it out. And he said, I'm going to do to Jew. What did you do to my son? That's amazing. And he just started beating the, the fuck out of Kingwell. And then there was another story. There was another kid that his dad came at 3 o'clock

and got him by the car and threw two punches at him and got him down. Nice. In those days, the cops didn't come either. Cops didn't come either. Well, Joey, man, in honor of Father's Day, I actually have to tell a similar story about my dad. Maybe you'll even listen to the show.

I'll send it to him. When I was, I think, in maybe third grade, yeah, second or third grade, I was at a school, and the principal's name was Mr. Wiley, and he was a real dickhead. I couldn't stand the guy. And I was a pretty mischievous kid, but I was never like a bad kid. I was just like, you know, little kids are naughty, you know, you don't want to play and run around and do shit. You don't want to be sitting, being taught arithmetic.

And anyway, like he, it was against the school rules to have your hands in your pockets. Because in South Africa, we wear a school uniform, right? Like shorts and a collared shirt and a tie and a blazer and just soft. and it's like very, very proper, I guess, is the word. And he saw me one day with my hands in my pockets and he said, take your hands out your pockets. So I took my hands in my pockets. Keep in mind, it was freezing.

It was winter. And then it happened a couple of times that I had my hands in my pockets and he kept telling me not to do it. And I wasn't trying to be naughty. I just was forgetting. You know, I had other stuff on my mind, you know, and my hands were cold. And the one time he came and grabbed me by my two lapels. of my jacket and he like picked me up off the ground and he said i told you to take your hands out of

your pockets right and like man i'm seven or eight years old right like what is a little kid like i freaked out i mean i was like what the fuck is going on so i went home and told my dad and uh my dad he's a karate black belt and he's you know a greek guy he's got hot blood and he's he wasn't happy with that at all so the next day he took me into the school and he walked right up to the principal's office said to the secretary, I want to speak to Mr. Wadi Mr. Wadi came out, my dad just

walked straight up to him and grabbed him by his lapels and lifted him up against the wall and he said, I hear you've been laying your hands on my son and that was one of the moments when my dad became my fucking hero. You know what I mean? So happy Friday this day, Dad. Thank you, man. I love you. What the guy said?

I can't remember what he said, but he was like slimy, kind of like, no, no, I would never do that or like he kind of try a backpedal out of it some snakey bullshit, right? But yeah, the guy never messed around with me again, so it worked, I guess. Yeah.

I wonder what happened if that went down in L.A. I wonder who it gets sued first. It'd be interesting. Well, it's kind of, it's in this society, it happens, I guarantee a lot. We just don't hear about it. There's teacher, student assault,

in some schools. There's some schools that you, it's just evident, see how they walk around. I dated a girl in college who was a student teacher, and she was going to like bad areas to be a student teacher, and they were throwing desks, they were throwing chairs. It gets scary. Like at the teacher?

Yeah. Fucking home. We were bad, but not, no. Not evil, you know? No, no, no. It's mischievous, but it's not evil. Nobody had weapons. Nobody, you know, no, no, no, no.

I saw Louis Alibar and the 8th grade punch fucking the principal in the head. He was in the pilot program. He was like 19 in the sixth grade and shit. When he came from Cuba, he didn't learn the language, so he just kept leaving him back. Finally, when you're 17, and you were in the seventh grade, they have to fucking push your head.

You can't do nothing. This kid was a fucking man. In those days, these kids would drive to school, right? They would write their own fucking notes and shit. They'd sit, they go, what the fuck? That's wild. Have you been back to Cuba? No.

No. Be very interested to see that. I'm trying. As a matter of fact, I called my sister this week. As heart-fucking wrenching as it was, the evening. I got beef in Cuba with this fucking family. They don't know the whole story.

They don't know the whole story. You know, my Cuban family thinks that I turned my back on them after my mom died. The truth of the matter is they were in Cuba and I was here. It was too different. I was 16 years old. You want me to call you on a daily and ask for what? what. I'm over here banging

out, so over the years they just heard reports, but I have a sister there. So my sister sent a letter seven months ago with my cousin, up in Glendale. He's never given me the fucking letter. So my sister talked to my other cousin in Cuba two weeks ago and said, tell him to call me. So I called this week

and then answered the phone. I called 10 or 11 o'clock at night, nobody fucking answered. That's the deal. I'd like to go back at the time. I'd like to go back at this point, get Lee and let's go back there, get a bagel company, open up a little fucking bagel company, get some salmon, will kay to me and you, we'll pay some taxes. That's the deal.

Open up a locks and bagel company. You think Cubans would like bagels and long? It's not up for them. It's for the fucking tourists. We'll give away the old bagels to the fucking Cubans at the end of the night. They're a fucking bodyguard. Maybe you're going to go back there one day when you get your blackball and open a jihitsu academy. That's going to be a long fucking time from now, brother.

You know, when I go to Jitza, I don't even think about that. That's good. I really don't. It doesn't. I'm happy that I'm there. That's a good thing. Like, when I go to Jitsu, I'm happy I'm there. Like, I can't believe I'm fucking here at this age in the back line doing fucking sit-ups

and fucking, you know, triangles up in the air, the warm-ups and doing fucking, you know, it's just amazing that I'm even there, guys. That's interesting you said that because I was, I got an email from one of the readers in my website because I'd written an article about I think it's called eight tips for for jih Tzu after 30 and I got an email from a guy saying the best tip I he said I'm an older guy doing jitsu and the best tip I ever got was one of the older guys took me aside no no I was chatting to one of the older guys after the class and I said to him what keeps you motivated because my body's really beat up I'm only 45 and you're like 60 how do you keep you keep

keep coming back and he said one day just the fact that you can come and do it will be the thing that keeps you going just the fact that you can literally step on the mat and so now don't even worry about those injuries just be happy that that day hasn't come yet and that always stuck with me and that makes me stop being stop be such a pussy when I'm tired or I don't feel like going I'm like man one day I won't be able to do this so now I should just be thankful that I can go and you know get on the mats I've seen Don and Asanto Egan Machado's seminar and I almost died. He must be close to like 80 now.

80 now, yeah. You know, I mean, guys, he's not over there doing flying berimbolo's. But he's sparring. He's sparring half speed. That's got to be good for you at that health. Your heart's moving. You're not fucking lifting weights. You'll at least do some rolling, I would imagine, right?

I mean, like, again, you're not going to do fucking judo flips and land on your shoulders, and you'll be drinking protein shakes. He's canned for 22 fucking years. But you have to go there and move, and that keeps you alive. You know, when your kids are five, and they're like, where are you going, Dad? And you're like, I got to go to Jitsu. Why are you going to Jitsu? You're not a fighter.

I didn't want to be a fighter. I want to go there and meet different people, people who don't want to know about where the best gig is, or how do you get to comedy? People that I walk in and I'm just that dude in the corner. That's a white belt. I love that fucking feeling, guys. I've been doing it since I was a kid. When I was a kid, my mom had Dill and we lived on the Upper West Side of New York.

When I go to the upper upper to Harlem, I'd see those kids. They lived 18 to an apartment. So I'd become then in my mind. Instead of going out with a dollar, I'd have a quarter, and I became then. And I enjoyed it. I didn't like living down there with those guys. I like living with those people who were struggling when I identified with them. When I go to a restaurant, I don't give a fuck about the major deal.

I think about the Mexicans that are bringing me fucking bread and water. And I talked to them. You know what? You go to a restaurant with me. There's always bread and water. You follow me in a big stick of fucking butter for your heart. Now, but think about this, right? So that feeling you get, like you go to Jitza, no one's bugging you about comedy.

Like, imagine being a celebrity on the level of someone like Brad Pitt, right? Or anyone, you know, like one of those super mega celebrities. What a fucking curse that must be because there is nowhere you can go where you can just be the white belt or just. be the guy in the corner or just be left alone because you're just too famous and too popular you know what i mean that must be hell like and even if people don't come up and bug you for a photograph or an autograph or something they're going to act differently towards you no doubt about it uh and i often think about how strange that must be and pretty crappy that must be what are your thoughts on that okay let's pretend i'm in a tv show and i'm getting 30 gs a fucking week and i got two days a week

that i could try and maybe a third i would call you on up and say, Professor, let's do something Mondays, Tuesdays, and then do you mind coming to the set on Friday? I'll get you some portable match. We'll leave him at the set, and we'll just, first off, I'm fucking 300 pounds. You're a nice guy. You're going to bring an assistant with you. Somebody my size, and we both get a lesson. I don't know what you call them, an Eureke, whatever the fucking... An Ouki. An Ouki. Yeah. So you bring an Ouki with you, and we do our thing. You know what? That's great. I'd love to pay you

fucking thousand dollars an hour for you to teach me arm bars and for me to fuck around with an oogie three days a week but I gotta tell you something in my world there's nothing like walking into a class 15 minutes before that class

because if you can make it to that class a quarter minute 15 minutes before because you can't you can do anything in your life and you warm up and you talk to the guys and you see the people coming in and then all of a sudden right there you're like listen my bag is right next to the door

I could still get the fuck out of here If I have to, you know, you look at the clock and it's two minutes of 12 and I start hyperventiling a little bit just thinking about it. And then you warm up with these guys and you start drilling and they teach you this. And next thing, you're back to zero. I would miss that whole atmosphere. That's really a talk. And it would be great to just pay somebody and get their black belt. I come in to see you three days a week.

You bring an oogie with you. We fucking roll. We drink coconut water. And you give me a belt. but that's not, for me, that's not even the whole thing. You'd be missing art on a lot of the stuff. The social thing, the people coming up to you and going, hey, you know, there's always that purple belt that comes up.

I was watching you. Get on your back. Next time you got a guy like this, grab his collar. And you're like, oh, shit. What do you? You a fucking magician. Like, you're like, where the fuck did you come up with that? The other day, somebody did not grab my arm on a hip-bop.

A purple belt grabbed my ghee and twisted my ghee. Oh, no, no. No, he grabbed my sleeve. So he started from a fucking triangle, and then somewhere or another, he popped up, took my sleeve and hip bump me. For two days, I've been scratching my head. How do fucking do that?

And I didn't catch him after class. That's what you miss. I used to train at Higgins, and I used to see Ashton Kutcher come in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And as Ashton Kutcher was coming, and everybody would leave. And you don't even, you feel creepy if you're sitting watch.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not exactly what you said. So I would just leave. But it would be he and him and some blue belt would come in on a brown belt. That was also an actor or something or something. But it wouldn't be to a regular class. And I remember going, that's great that he comes.

But wouldn't it be great if he would have came an hour ago and sit up some pretty? And I don't give a fuck who you are. Let's do this. Come on. Fucking twist my fucking arm. Come on. Choke me, you fuck. That's the whole drill.

I want to learn to be choked. Don't put me out. I got sleep back. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't be here leptopying on your eyeballs popping out. But when I go to class, I want people to choke me. Show me how that feels. I got bad flexibility, but you pulling my arm and you're helping me out.

Yeah. It's amazing. That's the class atmosphere, man. That's what I would never want to miss. Once you have $10 million, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can fly you in a helicopter to jump off with a firecracker and your ass land on a pad and teach me whatever the fuck you want, stay in the villa. Yeah.

What's that going to do? Yeah, I'm learning Jiu-Jitsu. But just think about this. A guy like Ashton Coucher, he lives his whole life like that. Like he will, for example, a story heard about Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was in, I can't remember where I read it, but he and his family were shopping. They were walking in a mall and they walked into the fossil store. There was a, you know, fossil watches.

And basically, like, their body, they had two bodyguards with him. The bodyguards clear out the whole store and the store closes its doors. And they just spend 10 minutes looking, whatever they want. right like it's the same kind of thing as that's happening to ashton coach show with the jihitsu it's the same thing when any one of these mega celebrities walks into a restaurant it's it's it's not the same they don't get the full experience because people treat them differently do you follow what i'm saying with it it's like and i always wonder that must be such a terrible fucking thing what a what a shame you bring this up i turned leon to oj you know lee was a kid when all this went

down it happened in our country a famous football player killed his wife yeah i remember no big fucking deal. This show made in America, when they asked me last night, when I called Eddie Bravo, called me last night, he was doing the Rogan podcast, and they go, what are you doing? I go, I'm watching the fights, but FX last night, fucked up. You taped the fights last night. You taped the fights

last night. They had the Skirl fight, then it switched to auto racing. And then all of when I get home, I'm watching fucking auto racing. I'm furious. I'm like, what the fuck? And all of a sudden, Eddie Bravo calls me. He goes, did you watch the fights? I'm trying to. But, and all of a sudden, they were starting.

I go, let me tape him. And I go, I taped the last episode of OJ Made in America. You know what OJ Made in America is? I've heard about it. Why do you think it's called Made in America? We made him. We went to his house. How many times did it?

I mean, I know the one cop went once. It's amazing. There's a story in episode three or two about this cop that went and filed the report and it didn't go nowhere. And he knew he was going to kill her. cops went there a thousand times but it's OJ Simpson Anyway he goes

There's some chick who sucks his dick You know he always wondered At a restaurant You go to a club And Brad Pitt walks And he gets a table And he gets three bottles And it's on the house

Six out of ten He might not even fucking tip He might not even tip But Lee walks And they make Lee pay That's the guy you got to charge Is Brad Pitt He makes 20 fucking money

Yeah it's wild It's a wild Think about this all the time A story that blows my mind is, I mean, you know, I'm from South Africa. I'm from a city called Cape Town. And I remember, I was just in my 20s, fucking, you know, horny all the time. Like, I didn't have a girlfriend. I just really wanted to, you know, out looking for it to pick up checks, you know, as you do.

And we're at this really expensive nightclub. It was the place to be in Cape Town at the time. And Leonardo DiCaprio was in the club because he had been filming blood diamond in South Africa, if I'm not mistaken. and he was sitting in the VIP section, he had it all to himself, and there was this queue of 50 of the hottest chicks you've ever seen in your life, queuing just to be able to go and sit in the same section as him, right? And his people were letting in some of them.

And I just thought to myself, like, I got really fucking depressed. I was like, Jesus, man, this is an experience I'm never going to have. I'm never going to be the guy I can choose any one of 50 models or any three of 50 models for night, right? And then I was chatting about this with my buddy and he said, you know what, Leonardo DiCaprio is probably fucking bored of that. He's probably bored out of his mind of it. So I think there's a point where that kind of celebrity must turn in on itself. What do you think? Well, over the years, you see the mistakes you made in any field, in any field. You see the mistakes you made as a jituitary teacher. You see the mistakes you make as a business owner, a husband.

You always see and you readjust. I made it. That's the time. thousand mistakes in my 30s that now my marriage is completely different because I made those adjustments and I learned my fucking lesson you know what's the question uh does it get boring taking models home from that from the club I guess is the question but all that shit yeah yeah listen man there's no you do drugs three years you go out every night you go to the same stupid bar they treat you like royalty you got your dick sucking every place in that ball you know you You take chicks in the closet, you've done every nasty thing. When does it end?

I mean, it's the people who think they can still pull it off at 50 and look cute and look young. I feel bad for them, you know, but every guy, at least at one point, has to go, you know what? I need a fucking girlfriend. I need a girlfriend that's none of the business. I don't want to hear these nonsense at the fucking house about models and fucking entertainment and agents.

And that's what happens. You start picking and choosing. You start getting wiser about your decision. you know, the 20s are a fucking throwaway in your life. Once you figure that out, your life's a lot easier. You don't figure that out until you're 45. It doesn't feel like that anymore. The 20s are a throwaway.

You're a fucking moron. Not you, Lisa. No, but I am. I'm sure I am. You're a fucking moron. I was a complete moron. I wanted to kidnap people. I thought I could fucking sell cars.

I just thought that there was all these capabilities. But again, I was like a junior old. I had gotten away with everything in New York City because I knew cops and shit. You're not doing nothing good for people when you're doing that shit. They got to pay that. The 30s, I got a little smarter. Not really.

Nah, really. I was a little smarter at times. I could have done better, you know? It wasn't until 37 that you're like, okay, I'm running out of fucking options. Yeah. I'm turning 37 this year, so hopefully something's going to happen. You know, you sit there waiting for something to happen, and nothing really, happens you're like you don't want you read something you read something fucking stupid you just

read something stupid I you know what got me going I read that John Gotti had taken over the family at the age of 45 I was 44 I'm like I'm still gonna do coke I'm still gonna be a fucking dumb comic you know I do some movies but who gives a fuck you get a movie you could breathe into a glass if you could fog a glass they give you a movie in this town you don't have be no fucking acting coach or nothing and you know things change. You stop doing drugs. You make different goals in your life, you know. With that BJJ page I got, ever since I got on that maybe a year ago, you write down how many times you want to go up and it tells you and you monitor it, you write notes about the class and you write

whatever the fuck, you know, the date, what happened, where you're trained. So I applied that to my normal goal writing thing, you know, where I, every month I got to write where I want to be at, what I want to do, what the purpose of the month is. So, I put it all together, man. It's like Jikundo. It's like Cuban Jikundo. You know what I'm saying? A little Catholicism, a little fucking Jewism.

I get the party started. Good for you, Joey. How old were you when you got into Jitsu? And what were you doing before Jiu-Gyutsu? That's a good question, man. I think I was like 19 when I started doing the Nogi stuff in South Africa. And then I was 23 or 24 when I moved to London and started doing BJJ with the, the ghee.

So, and what I was doing before that is, I was in college and I was always just hustling, man. I never had like a real job, you know. I was always just doing a bit of this and a bit of that and odd gigs here and there. So I never had like an office job or anything like that. So I just went straight into the jih Tjitsu, I guess. How did you survive during jih Tijuana? Oh, that's an interesting question.

A really cool guy who set up Rogers Gym. in London. He's super connected guy. You know one of those dudes is just, he just knows everyone, right? He, um, he kind of took a shine to me and,

uh, I kind of helped him a little bit with his jiu-suitzu and he gave me a few people in the music industry to train as a personal trainer. Um, one of them being the guy that I, from the beginning of the conversation that I'm meeting, uh, yeah, tomorrow. Uh,

and yeah, I just got by teaching, uh, personal training and then doing some jihuts. private lessons and I, you know, I wasn't like bawling it or anything, but I got by, you know, London's an expensive city and, and I still had a reasonably decent lifestyle. I wasn't starving or anything, you know? I was telling Lee today I had a buddy, one of my close, close, close buddies who came on the podcast once. He passed away last year, but his main gig was he was Franco's

boxing coach. His name was McAfoli. Which Franco are you referring? James Franco. Oh, right, okay. And he used to tell me the fucking stories and the paid days, and you sit there and go, what? Fuck. You sat there for how long? And they gave me a rental car, and I only had to see him an hour a day.

It was just different, different times of the day, and he just box them. That's it. Wild. Yeah, that's cool. And he was there for, I think, three or four fucking movies. They'd give him money to fly.

They'd give them money. You know, James Franco smokes weed, so he'd get weed for free. It was a fucking amazing experience. Just traveling with somebody training them for 12 weeks. When I did the longest yard with Bob Sapp, Ivan Salivary, and the other dude were there, the kickboxing dude, throughout the whole thing. Can you imagine having two fucking trainers on the set?

How balling is that shit? Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. I got a kickboxing dude and a fucking jitza dude. Yeah, that's the thing cool. Fuck. That's balling right there. Yeah, I remember I, about five or six years ago, I was training a celebrity who made me promise.

not to ever tell who it was. I won't say it was, but I remember I was in London, training him for a few months, and then I flew to New York on vacation, and I get out of the subway in New York, in Times Square, and he is on a billboard in a pair of jeans, advertising some pair of jeans, and I was just like, fuck,

I was just getting that guy to do 50 push-ups the other day. It was kind of a weird feeling. Yeah, strange. So I hope you move here. If you move here, I could see. a little more. You can teach me some of your fucking shit. Deadly. Let me get some shout out. I'll get us out of here. Joe Avulos,

Timmy Holloway, newly one love. Matt Balthazar, Andy McGrath, 81, Peter Schreger, Bobby Crystal, and Donnie Flowers. There you go. Cuckuckuckers. No drama tonight, nights and slow. I'm in Philadelphia this week,

but ain't nothing cracking. There's no tickets left. I'm doing no expectation tour. From flappers to the Ice House to flappers to the Ice House to the Comedy Store belly room, 50 people cedars. It's like 10 bucks to get in. I'm just going to work on my one hour special. And you guys are going to be my guinea pigs. I'll post it up on Twitter a week before, right? That's all I got for you guys, cock suck.

It's hot here. It's 113 and it's going to be 14 and a half tomorrow. So at one point I went out today and it was just amazing at I got 1.30 I hadn't felt that in a long time like it got hot fucking quick Check out the sunburn man see that? What was on the beach today? Bro, this is real sunset. You want to see sunburn? That's fucking sunburn right there. You kid? I don't know if you want to pull me to pull it up because it has my butt in it But when I went to the beach the other week my back is still paying for me

Oh, and it's itchy as fuck. And at night the fan hits me. I got to get up and rub my back on the fucking wall. Oh, I do that like a crazy person. It's horrible. As long as you wash your feet, man. What's the future for you, my friend? What do you want to do when you move out here?

You got a great gift. You know, you could do videos in charge. You could do seminars. You got so many things. You don't fight at all. You go to competitions, too? Every now and then, man. But I'm getting a bit older now, and it's difficult to focus on competing when you're

living out of a suitcase. You know, you have to. I think you have to be, if you want to compete properly, you need to put yourself through a proper training camp and be in one place for three or four months and really focus on the competition. Are you a vegan or you eat everything? No, man, I eat pretty much everything.

And yourself? No, no, no, no, I used to be a vegan. That's what got me all fat and shit. It's not until I got off the meat and stuff that I look. No, I'm just teasing. I couldn't be a vegan if I fucking wanted. The other day, my wife made asparagus. And I tried it from trying to time.

I just tried smelling it. I thought my intestines were going to come out of my fucking nose. I hate all that shit. It's so bad. I like lettuce, tomato onions, and that's it. I'll eat some pickles if you got them. So you're not coming for a kale shake with Lee and I after this, huh? Fuck, no.

Even though somebody told me that the Asaie Cafe makes a nice fucking kale shake over there. And I know it was so funny because I walked out and I knew Alan Jackson, the Jitsu kid. And then as I was getting in my car, the same little waitress from my... or ETC, there's a waitress over there. I'm like, what are you doing this? I'm like, Jesus, fucking Christ, you're a high school kid. How many jobs you got? So it was pretty fucking interesting to see.

I don't know what to tell you, Nick. I'm a big fan. I like your videos. I like your work. Well, man, we're going to have some fun doing some jih Tjitsu this week, yeah? I hope I see you either tomorrow or Tuesday. It looks like Tuesday. Tomorrow my day's fucked up.

It's going to be 118. You really don't want to get caught on the highways tomorrow's done. I thought you were going to say you really don't want to get caught on to Jerry Diaz when it's 118. No, no, you're a professional. Take you three minutes next thing. I'm flying through the fucking air. I'm asking myself, what went wrong? You're still holding onto my sleeve.

You got me to go-go plot until you're turning it into a fucking Chinese fucking torture chamber. And I don't know what happened. No, tomorrow's one of those days. I have the baby. I have the baby. You don't go to school on Monday. So I think I'm going to take her in the morning. If I can bust that out, somebody wants to see me at 1.15.

up here in Burbank. I don't know how long that'll take. I'm pretty much after that. I'm pretty much fucking free. You know, what's up, Lee? What level?

Uh, belt were you when you left England? When you started going, when you started traveling? I was black belt. Okay. Because before the podcast, Joe,

you were talking about how it, like, it was hard for you sometimes to skip around school to school? Like, you're, and now you're traveling, has it been hard for you to keep up

or do you like going to school to school? Uh, you're asking, Joe, you, you, uh, me, sorry,

sorry, um, yeah, I know, I like going school to school because as I said, I just make so many friends, man. It's so much fun. But sometimes, if I'm honest, my jih Tjitsu has suffered because, man, I'm jet lagged a lot of the time. And it's difficult to get like a rhythm like Jory was saying in the beginning of the, I think before we even started the podcast. He's like, I'm going three times a week now, you know, and that's my thing.

And for me, sometimes I don't even get to go three times a week because whatever my travel schedule or I can't get to the place that I need to go to, whatever it is. So that's suffered a little bit, but the positive is that it's just get to make new friends, as I said. When people hit me up on Twitter, they go, Joey, are you bringing your geek? And I'll go back to them, do you have a school? And they'll go, yes, the first question out of my mouth is,

this is what we fuck up, is it walking distance to where I'm staying? That's the key word. Because there's one thing I don't fucking like is playing James, bond in a fucking city looking for your goddamn school. The worst is when they're in a suburb down the East Coast. If you contact me, you know, you got a school in Pittsburgh. Yeah, I do.

Come on, I'm professing that. It's not that you get off the plane. There's a by the way involved. It's in the suburb of Pittsburgh. That's 40 miles completely longer than you wanted to fucking do. Yeah, that's happened to me a couple times. Compared to where the fuck you were staying. And you're like, how did this fucking happen?

Now I don't want to go out there. And I want a half and an hour and a half back in an hour. What the fuck? Where did I go wrong? That's the problem I was making for a long time. I didn't know the demographic. Now, unless I could walk to your jujitsu school, I can't do it. Because that means you got to get in a car with a creepy person.

You know, who knows who this person is. They want to show you the fucking neighborhood and do a tour guy. Listen, I don't want to know nothing. I don't want to know nothing. I just want to fucking go in there and get choked out. for you guys to teach me something and the next thing you know they want to go eat and it becomes what was one hour

now becomes four fucking hours and you still got foot fungus so what's the fucking difference so you follow what I'm saying anything that's the key word I go to San Jose I know Camarillo's down the corner Oh Dave Camerio

Yeah I can fucking take a skateboard there I know he's there I feel more comfortable and I'm exaggerating the way but if it's like let's say 68 68 Sunsen your school is 14 to sunset, I'll go.

You know, but it's one way. I can take a bus. I got to take a cab. It's when you tell me it's in fucking, you know, oh, I have a school in New Jersey. Where in Newark? And all of a sudden you get there in the schools in fucking Elizabeth. Big difference, cocksucker. I was staying in Newark. Now I got to go 45

fucking minutes or whatever it is in traffic. I might get mugged. There's a lot of by the ways there. You know what I'm saying? Lee, how you feeling, Doug? Look at you. You're about to fucking take a nap. But I know you so well. I interrupt. up to you mid-nap. That's how good my timing's getting. You can see the nap coming. Yes, I do. I can see. Look at the islands are purple, Lee.

Oh, my God. They're fucking purple. What'd you do? This is what happens when you fuck around when I'm not around. This is one. You always got to stay in tip-top shape because I'm always watching. But you team up with Paul and by the way you become Harvey. I only want to eat one style. I've got on the fair. I had three stars. That's not training. Three stars as you were doing six months ago. right or wrong when you went to got bells did you do 10 swings and then no now you do 82 of them you maintain it you got to take this shit up a level you got stars here at the office you come over you don't say nothing to nobody you're in training you salute the flag you got to open up

with 8 900 now you're a different man sure yeah 8 900 a day it's like to a thousand pretty soon sure we almost tip the thousands tonight you chicken down you know I mean I didn't I I don't want to do it. Go back. Roll back the thing. I have to do this. I have to do that tomorrow. I'll make this check.

So you're going to tell me the future? You're going to cut me off? Jerry, right now, I just got to focus on my businesses and my academies. How many academies you got worldwide, though? We've got like 15 or 16 now. These are all affiliates, cool.

Yeah, yeah, all affiliates. And I'm really loving my Jiu-Zitsu at the moment. I'm loving the train. I got burnt out on it a few years ago, but this last 18 months, I've really got in a good groove. And I'm just loving Jiu-Suzzi. So my focus now is just on enjoying Jiu-Sutu. I'm not putting any competitive pressure on myself. I'm just going to be visiting all the affiliates, spending some time with my business partner in London working on the business,

and also spending some time in Thailand for the next year or so. Because I just love it out there, man. That's my happy place. Then you've got to make it work. Where are your affiliates here in the States? I have one up in Oregon in a place called Klamath Falls. Shout out to Randy, Randy Stacey. The guy runs it out.

They're a very cool guy. And then I got one in Vermont and Michigan and the fourth one is also in the northeast. But I cannot remember the name of the city right now. The name escapes me. I have it, brother. The marijuana smoke in the air. That's your mind sometimes. Just being in this fucking movie,

that's positive. I looked over to Lee, and I didn't recognize the guy because his eyes were like one third the size they were when I met him an hour ago. That ain't nothing. Coming back next week.

Next week, he's going to be passed out his eyeballs, it's going to be black. That's the goal. He's just going to be looking straight up on the day. I'm going to have to call CSI, wipe down the counter,

and get out of here. Thanks. You know what I'll leave a suicide. No, it's over. I don't give a fuck no more. My mom is mistreat me. I don't know nothing. They'll come wake me up.

I'll be in my rope. What happened? We found them in the office. No, I'll cry. I'll ask for sure. See, I learned that from OJ. You got to ask how they died. Yeah.

Tell me about these stars where what's the deal? These are the stars of death, Professor. Okay. This is like, there's like going to the fucking Abu Dhabi. and fucking everybody up with the same fucking Camorra. You know what I'm saying?

This is like the strongest edible you can get or what's the deal? No, this is just a little play thing we do. This is training. Yeah, I should just play. This is like that light ghee from Fuji. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're tremendous.

They're not a lot. No sugar. You know, if you want to eat an edible, you got to eat this big fucking thing. Next you know, I'm eating a cookie to get 3,000 milligrams. This, it's $125 per star. All right. And they're light.

They taste like cherry. Then they also make purple ones. They made those with dragon blood. And those are 200 milligrams. Tonight, we ate not 850 milligrams. We didn't want to eat the other one. He was crying. I was crying.

I apologize. He can't see properly anymore. He's fucked. Oh, no, I can see like a badge. I'm squinted. But, let's do this, all right. She's going to sit there. Nobody's talking.

We're talking. Everybody's looking at me. I own 20 bucks. It's not good. First off, this show's brought to you by Datsu Sara, these bad motherfuckers. You know, man, man, man. I get to love these guys more and more.

I love Chris. I love the product. I'll tell you why. They sent me a bag. I could fucking smuggle 80 people in that bag, and that's got secret compartment sleeves. So I got four outside compartments. I put my fucking, that cold towel that you put when you get in,

you're dipping in water, and I put my nasal spray in there. And the other one, I put my cell phone. and my fucking thing, right? And the other one, I put my protein powder and the fucking little container of water. And then the other one, I fill the canteen with water, the big fucking water.

They have a little knapsack that's completely different. You put your stinky shit in there, your socks, your stinky underwear, all that shit that's rotten. And you're zip it up. They got an overhead strap, and they got the strap right on the side. That's what I'm fucking talking about. You understand me?

And if you look deep, they got two zippers. You open those up, and that's where I got my knee pads. and I got a $50. I get a to Ruth Chris in the head just in case I fucking get a sudden urge for a steak after somebody fucking puts me to sleep,

you know what I'm saying? You don't think of it'll get me out. This is a little eight-ons filet for lunch. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is the bags are refreshing, the fucking, what's the thing that you put around your waist? The fanning packs. Last time I flew, I brought the fanning pack.

I put my cell phone in there, the eye fucking tune, the iPod. I put my vapor pen in there. I put my fucking anxiety medication in there I put everything in there It had everything It's a lot easier at security A lot easier at security

You just empty the thing And give it to them And they look confused Like why are you still using one of these Why? Because I'm big Dick MacLick bitch Anyway Go to DSgear.com

Not DSgear.com You fucking mumbo the other morning I went to DS gear I couldn't find the great geese Get it together Dsgear.com right now Put in the word what Lee? Joey

Joey, you can get 5% all. Look at the geese. Look at the bag. Look at the t-shirts. But most important, look at the fanny pack. You're going to fucking be happy. This is an old school fanny pack. It's got secret compartments in there, too.

I can't tell you about those until you buy the knapsack. Then you contact me. I'll tell you where you can smuggle in there and like fucking 22-8 balls of bluff. That's how I roll. I try to help people out. You know what I'm saying? Professor, you can't be talking around with these people. You're all right, professor.

I'm happy. You like the first English dude I've had South Africa I'm sorry You just got the accent I fucking love it It's like having the good looking dude on the fucking show What's this dude? He was snort and coke at the Chateau Mar-Marmont I forget you know me though

I've been smoking dough for 18 years Things happen I appreciate you having you on joy It's been really fun Yeah yeah yeah I love talking to Jitsu With fucking masters This is my what I live for and shit I always learn one thing all right

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What do you know how to make? A hamburger? It ends right now. This is what I'm going to do for my listeners. Listen, what I'm going to do is this. I'm going to give you three free meals, three meals for free. I'm giving you three meals for free, just like that, with free shipping. By going to blue apron.com slash joey.

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Grigoritis. Gregoritis. One more time from my man Lee Syatt, and I'm your host, Uncle Joey Diaz. Thank you for listening to the church. You got some song lined up yet? I know. What are you doing now?

You're shit? Really heavy? What's up? You want another star? Sure, why not? Just send it over the edge. I've never called the ambulance before. What the fuck?

Oh, no, no. If you're walking on ice, you might as well dance. You know what I'm saying? Don't be rude in front of us. I'll host here. There you go. They're just stuck me in the chair like a soldier. I love you guys.

Stay black. How about trampled underfoot by Led Zepp and Cocksucker? Okay. This show was brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with Blue Apron. You're also going to get free shipping when you go to Blue Apron.com slash Joey. So you're going to get three free meals, your first three meals for free and free shipping from Blue Apron.com slash Joey. and go to on.com and use co-bird church to save 10% on all the great optimization products

like alpha brand new moot Trumet Community and Trum Tech Support and the show is brought you by Datusara go to DSgear.com for extremely high quality functional gear made with hemp textiles they have bags, geys, rash guards, and more used COBRA joey j-o-e-y at DSGear.com to get 5% off of your DetSauara order well we are trampled other foot man you guys are proper stoned huh oh to the guillist

god damn what's the name of those trampled what trampled look at his man you guys are really stoned look at the pictures

though we don't fuck around we go deep we go straight to Brazil we don't fuck around we don't give a fuck about the Zika virus oh Joey that was fun man

it was fun what is this There you.