The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #412 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: September 12, 2016

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt talk about the relationship Joey had with his childhood doctor, CM Punk, and sticking to your rules. This podcast is brought to you by:   Helix Sleep: Go to helixsleep.com/JOEY to get $50 off of your order off a custom mattress.  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.  Recorded live on 09/11/2016.    

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Sunday, September 11th. Respect. To know. Are you fucking kidding me? Don't never let you know. When you ask the reasons why. Here we go, Cocksuckers. Cut that fucking thing.

That's too deep. I just saw myself playing basketball in 1977 and shit with skinny legs. What's going on, Lee Syatt? I never had skinny legs. It was fucked up. What's going on? Don't worry about your fucking legs. What's going on?

What's going on? I had a good week. I went with you to the show. I love going to comedy shows, man. I was thinking about it today. I've been going to comedy shows. I was one of the nerds. My mom, you're going to Gotham.

in a couple weeks. My mom, when I was 16, 17, took my brother and I went to Gotham. There's something even before I knew anything about comedy or knew anything about going. It just, to me, it blows

anything out of the water. Sports, you can't really see. If it's a good movie, that's maybe on par, but a good comedy show, I fucking love going. Do you wait, anticipate for laughter, or for the guy, a fucking die of slow death.

Oh, I've never wanted to get a die of slow death. I always go. Anticipation laughter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, and it's, it got to a point like John Panette a few years ago. He passed away, or a couple years ago. We, my whole family and my, my, like, my family's best friend family, like my, like, all the parents and stuff got along.

We watched it. We went on New Year's Eve. I must have been 15, 16. we went and saw John Panette as like a family for New Year's Eve. See, I was more of a music guy at that age. Like, I liked live entertainment, but I liked music. And I liked music at a big scale, but then again, I liked music at a small scale. Like, bands would rehearse at my mom's bar with him as a kid in the daytime.

Spanish bands, whatever. There was one particular band that always rehearsed at my mom's bar in the daytime in the back, from like 11 to 12 in the summertime, like six Puerto Rican kids in the neighborhood. And I still remember one of their songs, but I liked how they could just blend together. Like that always fucked with my head. Like, how do these guys blend together?

Like, as a band. Yeah. That bong fucking kills me. I just want people to know, yeah, I do 22 bong. It's when I come to the U.S. That's why I don't have it at the house. Tonight I'll have a hard time breathing

Do you really after the bong? Huh? After you smoke from a bong? Yeah, for some reason I get shit cooking. I don't smoke from a bong that much, only two days a week. It's different. I told you. Why don't you smoke from a bong a lot?

You fucking... I think my favorite's a joint. You haven't really been doing... I was thinking about that the other day. You haven't really been smoking joints or something. I'll tell you what. I smoke a joint at night. Oh, okay.

I brought a big fucking monster to put me down. and like I said I've been talking about it the times come for me to take a breather I'm just killing myself to live at this point to language but you were talking about something before we start the fucking show about Rifa that now you only work on Rifa what are you talking about? It's weird

like when we first started and you always make fun of me like there's a I always used to like pass out and sometimes I still do but it's gotten to the point now where for the past what is it almost

three years that I've been doing this full time. I only work. Like people sometimes, like I read an article once like, ooh, employers now are letting more people smoke a joint at lunch or something because they say it helps productivity or whatever. Sometimes like, ooh, I remember getting drunk at like a Christmas party. And now every time I work, 99% of the time, I'm like blasted beyond anyone else's like conception of how like high they can get a marijuana.

Yeah, we started to talk about this last week. Yeah. You just become adapt to the fucking situation after a while. You have to force it that if you're not high, you feel fucked up. When I was shooting a longer shot, I was told her a chick and she goes, wait till you stop smoking. And that's when everything comes into perspective, you know? What do you mean? Like when you stop smoking, that's when you, like when I got locked up, that little time there, I didn't smoke.

Up to that time, I smoked to the minute before I got sentenced. It's always been involved in my life, marijuana, not for medical reasons because I was a fucking nut. But I went on a tail. You know, like I've always said, everybody raves about Colorado now. I lived in Colorado then, and the weed was still tremendous compared to anywhere else I was getting. I wasn't traveling as much, but when I did travel, I had different spots I went to. So I smoked out of a bomb then. In Colorado, 90% of the people smoke out of a bung.

They put snow in the bung, ice cubes in the bong, or, you know, club soda with ice cubes. It's fucking crazy. So that's where I got the lung thing from all those years living in a high altitude smoking a fucking bung. I have terrible lungs. I don't know what it is. Oh, no. Give me a fucking month. Your lungs will be fucking so stretched out.

You won't know what hit you. Let me tell you what happened yesterday. Guys, first off, right now, EBI is on, and I'm going to thank Eddie Brabant. Fight Pass, if you're a member of Fight Pass. I'm going to watch it tonight when I get home. I feel fucking very saddened that I'm not there. I told Eddie, if we got out of here early, we would shoot over there, and that's it. It's not that I don't love Eddie, or I'm trying to bang heads with Eddie or nothing like that.

I'm leaving Thursday. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow. things to do tomorrow. I'm busy as shit and I just have to do the podcast tonight and I'd rather do it tonight so people have it early Monday morning. So bing bang boom, your fucking day starts with some conversation here. It's really weird lately. I found myself in a predicament that I haven't had since I was a criminal. What's that? I'm busy. I'm busy. I cannot believe what is on my plate. I really can't believe it. And when you look at it from the outside, eye to eye. You're like, okay, you have those three things on your plane. No, it takes 35 minutes to

get warmed up in front of the computer to write these things. And as you're writing, you're getting new ideas and you're writing those down and you're writing and you're writing and you're writing. So it's frustrating because guess what, Lisa had? I'm not a writer. I'm learning as I go. And so there's a little bigger learning curve. So like, what are you, so do you want to break down the three things that you're writing? Like, I'm trying to write this book. Okay. Which is great to write, but painful at the same time. It's like bittersweet.

Every time I spit a line in there, I love it, but it's like bitter sweet because I'm scratching a scab to him. And right now I'm in a real scabby fucking area, let's just say. The special, you know, I listened to my set Friday night and it was good. It wasn't what I wanted, not by any means, but it's a style that I like and I admire. If you do it a lot, you'll bomb 90% of the fucking time. I just got lucky that night. The right words came out of my mouth. Saturday's set was a little sloppier,

and I came home a little frustrated last night, so last night, like, I wrote some stuff out, and I couldn't believe that. At one point, it was 10.30, and the next minute was 1.30. Damn. You know? And I put that fucking 1.30. I was like, what?

You know, just from scratching and listening to this set from Tuesday. day night at the fucking dark horse and you know a little set you talk for a half hour you get one line but to me that one line goes on the page that I could refer back than go Jesus that that's

that made me giggle you know what I'm saying like whatever but for the first time in a long time late and I'm telling you this that I'm a good organizer that's one of my strong peaves like I look at my day and go okay this is how I have to chop it up you know what this pause

don't fucking fit here. And it's just going to fuck up my day. Let me move this to wind. I'm one of those guys. I'm giving you enough window. I know about the 405. I know about the 101, no, that 2.30, or 1130.

I'm busy right now. Right. It's the weirdest fucking thing. I got myself into a little bit of a fucking pickle. And it's the day's coming. And I know this. And you have to keep a podcast going. You have to, there's so many things.

one of those people that is raised to sit there. And everybody else is giggling. You know, I wasn't raised to take a vacation. You know, I questioned vacations. A lot of people agree or disagree with me. I'm the type of guy that I'm sitting there. I make a deal with myself. And that's great with the TV.

Like, today I watch the Giants and the Cowboys. I called you while I was watching. I wanted to see what you were watching. What was going on in New England? I didn't know New England was playing tonight. You know, I like football. Right. But I don't know all the movable players.

You know what the best game in this country is college football. Really? Yeah. If you really get to know college football, the top 10, you really watch the purity of a game. You really learn on the purity of the game. Oh, right, okay. There's only one thing with college football.

That the players move every two or three years. So every two or three years, you have to be involved. And it's fucked up. Yeah. When you get drafted by the NFL, you play with the fucking Houston Texans for 10 years of your career. get to know where you are. Do you understand me? I get to know the team, the positions. Excuse me. But yeah, the older, the more, like I used to watch Sports Center. I haven't turned on sports center in years. So you, you know, I revolved around sports. And something happened like in

1987. I remember it was the World Series. And I'm like, this is the first time. I'm not involved in the World Series. And I think it was the Twins were playing the World Series. And I had to be like 24, 25 years old. That was the first time I got divergenized from sports, that first fucking world series. But to get back to this, it's very weird when you have a gun to your head. You know, I have to maintain my relationship at home. You know, I have to be there in the morning with her. I have to be there when she comes home.

I need the dinners with her. That's always been important to me. But my work is also important to me. You know, like what I do is important to me. Let's be honest. My social life sucks dick because the antisocial shit has come up by tremendous fucking means. You know, just come up. Just, I don't know what it is.

Is it antisocial or I just think you don't really like going? If I go to a bar, if I go to a fucking game right now in this point in my life, more than ever do I think to myself, what the fuck? I should be doing something. Like today, I was watching a football game. I watched it for 30 minutes and I fucking got up and went and I wrote for fucking that one. I listened to the tapes. I wrote. I made adjustments.

I scratched this. That shit that I have to do. Right. You know, this morning I got up. Got up late today. I got up like an 8.30. Okay. Which is late for me.

I got up. My wife, boom, boom. We talked. We hung out. I drank coffee with them. I made a protein shake for breakfast. They left. I had 30 minutes a piece.

I sent a few emails. I made a few calls long distance. And bam, I fucking put my little fucking jihitsu suit on and went over there. I lifted. I stretched. You know, I put some blettings. in my back. I said, fuck it. I'll go in there and do this and this and this and this. And I did it. And I got up and fuck because I want to be ready for the mom. I want to be able to go tomorrow.

Because with me, it's just numbers. I'm not going to be Johnny fucking tough. I'm going there just for the numbers because I know the more reps I do, the better I'll get. The more stamina and the better, you know, the breathing and stuff. You were talking about organizing. My issue with when I get busy and you've talked with me about it is focus. I focus way too far ahead. I focus on what like a design for a name or I focus on the name of a company rather than focusing on working on like I always daydream or or fantasize about like how fun it's going to be how how successful it's going to be and then like I kind of just skip the actual work part of it. The gut part of it. Which 55% of the people I've met out here.

You know, one in particular and I saw it back then. I saw it in 98. In 98, in my fucking job jumping here, I would work telemarketing jobs just to fucking keep busy. So I wasn't thinking about comedy all fucking day. And I had a steady check coming in beside the goddamn $15 sets at the comedy store. And the 50 bucks I would get from Willie or Jeff Garcia or Felipe or whatever to do their little rooms and shit. I would work different telemarketing people. And telemarketing people, when an account dries up, they go to different firms.

So I was selling cigars, but the company I worked for decided they were just going to open up a cigar store and do the calls from there. They were going to change it all around. There was not going to be an early morning shift anymore. So I said, I got to find something else to sell. So I went and sold venture capital. What is that when you just invest, invest money? Yeah, let me see venture capital. Venture capital people because these people had this idea of a TV show, okay?

But the TV show was going to get written by this fucking. and writer who had written on this other TV show that was successful on Disney for 12 seasons, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. These are the characters, and this is what the show is about. Not only are we doing that, and this is when I saw it from an outsider's point of view. They were also selling the merchandise rights. So they were going to have a guitar, a drums, posters, lights. Right there, I knew it was a disaster.

Because you're not focusing. They had one page about the storyline and 80s. two pages about the marketing they were going to do for the fucking, uh, right there I learned that. I learned it right there. Like, nobody taught it to me. I saw it. I saw how people, how far ahead of the game people get. Yeah, it's easy to do.

It's fun. And, uh, no, it's not fun. It's not fun when it comes at. There's a difference. Like right now, I'm visualizing my special. That's, that's one thing, but I'm not visualizing a Madison Square Garden with fucking Jay-Z jumping up and down. No, but it'd be like if you were visualizing the special, but not going out this

month. Right. Something like that. Like that's what I get fucked up with. Yeah, no, no, no. But when you want to sell those type of things, sometimes people get ahead of themselves. Well, think of that movie rights. And right there, I know because you look worried about

money. Right there when you tell me that you're going to get this and get the movie rights and think of all the hats we could sell at the premiere, at 2250 a hat right there, I know you have nothing. And the people around you are chilling that. So instead of worrying about, like I told you, years ago, a guy approached me about a fucking cop in New York that loved martial arts, so he wore karate uniform everywhere, Kung Fu Suitor.

The fucking script was horrendously bad. Everything about it was bad. But the main thing that pissed me off. I didn't mind going to the pitch was they wanted me to walk in there with the fucking Kung Fu Suitor. They sent a tailor to my house. I refused to let the fucking guys, like I just... You didn't want to wear the kimono or whatever it's going? Fuck, no.

Why not? Because I had to walk out of there with the fucking come on, and I knew the pitch is going to be terrifying. I knew they were going to look at me and say, well, thank you. That's a great idea. Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you guys. Now, with that failure, I got to walk out with that fucking suit on and walk to my car like an asshole and see the valet. That's why. Last night, I fucking go out.

And again, for college football reasons, the same reason why. I don't watch that many. I can't follow college football because of all the movable fucking parts. Sometimes the UFC gets confusing. Oh, yeah. You know, five years ago, the UFC wasn't confusing. But now, to me, it's very confusing with the UFC fight pass and this fight is on here and this fight is on there. So I wait to see what's coming on.

Do I know all the fighters on the card anymore, Lee? Not really. Not really. You know, I don't see Brendan Vera. I don't see all those. You know, those are the guys, Phil Davis, that I started watching the UFC with they're all gone. Now there's North Sage cut. There's all these fucking kid, Jimmy Rivera.

I knew Jimmy Rivera had a great shot against. Oh, yeah, you had a great friend. I had read about him a few weeks ago, but I know, believe it or not, believe it or not, like, I know nothing about this CM Punk kid. And not until they did the documentary about him, did I even know what CM Punkn look like. I think he's very, at least for me, I wasn't a wrestling fan at all. They kept him very under wraps until they started, like, I didn't even get to see it. They had like a six or seven part documentary series on him before the fight.

And but as, at least for me, as the fight was leading up, the only thing I heard was negative. Like, the only thing I heard was like, oh, he's going to get beat up. I didn't know anything about him. I didn't watch any other documentaries. Every time it was on, there was some type of comment on Twitter. He couldn't punch. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do that.

Okay. So I don't even look them up. I don't know. Guys, I have so much on my fucking plate that sometimes I'm interested about something, but I don't even open the door because I know I'm going to read. I'm going to have to get. It's like when you're reading a good book. You get intrigued by it and you won't put it down and you have other things to fucking do.

So that's why the computer is deadly. Oh, it is? The computer is deadly. When you try to do something, I just shut it down. Just close the fucking thing because you won't get nowhere, though. Because every eight minutes, your eyes steer over that. So I get home last night. Again, I'm bombing, and I want to listen to the tape.

I want to listen to the one from Friday. And I'm listening to all this shit last night. And at the same time, you get bored after 12 minutes. You put the earphones on and you click. And I think I click on the Yahoo page and then torture in CW Punk. C.M. CM Punk, whatever his fucking name is. I clicked to another page and it's

endless CM Punk fucking tearing into it. And now I get intrigued. I go, how bad to the fucking be? I'm not going to get the fight to watch it. I just wait until some fucking dude post it on. And sure enough, 10 seconds after I said that, Bing, a link

comes up with the fucking fight. And he looks horrendously bad. And I look at him, Lee, on the floor. And I click it out and I leave the room for some reason to smoke and join us. I come back, I open up the computer again, I get my notebook out. And there again is more CW, whatever his fucking name is, punk. And I, for one minute there, I go, Jesus Christ, C.M. CW. Punk doesn't matter in your life this much.

like there was just so much hatred about this guy and at the end of the day the way I looked at it was from what I heard he gave up wrestling what do you mean did he give up wrestling like whatever

oh yeah he's not funny he's not wrestling was he rich like was he was from what I've heard from like Steve Simone and he was like one of the top in the WWV I think don't quote me on this there might have been like a contract dispute or something to that sort and then at that point like he was he was going to come back maybe

not come back and then that was two years ago when he joined the UFC okay so he went he started training somewhere at Duke rufus yeah which is a hard academy and you'll learn a lot it's a lot to get absorbed and they got the guy you have C fight now in my world you know what man he was fucking delusioned you know he was a little bit on the delusional side uh I know just as a fucking comedian that you're going to fight you have to be doing it for a while oh yeah and you have to have a couple of fights in the competition level then a couple fights you know it just takes a couple things things that the record's never going to come up you know what I'm saying like it's never going to come up you went to a competition one time and you when you go to those competitions

the regular karate ones you fight like three times you know you fight like three three minute rounds or something until the winner gets decided it's not full contact But just that semi-contactly teaches you how to move your hands, what to block for. Those karate kicks are slick. They fake to your fucking stomach, and they pop up to your fucking face. You can't touch the face, but you can touch the body. And from there, you move on to a few jih Tornments. And then from there, you do a couple of MMA things, right?

This would be what I think would be the obvious fucking pattern. This is what I'm just assuming. Yeah. Okay? And after you have, after you go 8-0 and the MMA lower-D, division, you know, fights in Tarzana on Saturday night in the back of a church, that type of shit, you get $52 and your trainer gets $11. After eight of those, you set a tape to Joe Avila, whatever his fucking name is, the guy

who got five from the UFC, and they decide yes or no, or they hear about you in the low, something, you know, so when I didn't, see, for me in my world, I really didn't know. In my world, it could have been that CM Punk was a wrestler, but maybe in high school he boxed maybe in college he fucking did something was a NCAA champion wrestler I didn't know what the fucking particulars were but then I find out this guy's got no credentials whatsoever that's what you're trying to tell me like no credentials you went from professional wrestling right into this fucking thing that's what yes okay and then he goes in the ring and he gets fucking demolished right yeah and and to be honest you asked earlier and anything you heard about him I forgot about

maybe three to six months ago, there were articles going around that I read that he had lost like 15 out of 16 fights that they had brought in for him in the gym, like secret fights. So that's when I heard, like, the negativity first started for that I started hearing. Because I don't like going boards and obviously I'm not in the world, so I don't know anything, but that, like, I heard he lost 15 out of 16, like, pre-fights. Because I was wondering why they didn't do that with him. And I probably just can't because he's so famous and popular people would go for his knees or maybe they don't want people to see him losing or who knows.

You know, you know, man, absolutely, at the end, C.M. Punk raised his hand, and they agreed to let him fight. Now, in my world, where I'm coming from, I think it's a business move, correct? Yeah, probably at some point. It's a business move because there's no way Lee Syatt wakes up tomorrow morning. at 8 o'clock in the morning and he calls me and he goes hey cocksucker this week I'm calling you

but I got bad news I'm quitting I'm going over to Searsen kickboxing at 10 o'clock I'm going to start kickboxing and then at 2 o'clock I'm going to see Justin Fortune and I'm going to be coming

an M.M.A. I'm going to the 6thirty jih Tudu class in Alberta Crane and I'll be sitting there going wait what the fuck are you talking about and all of a year from now you call me up and you go

hey what are you doing for you? And I can you come in a corner me, corner you. You know, yeah, I want to box this, do it up in fucking Tarzana. You know, that, that's the evolutionally. But if you come to me tomorrow and go in two years, I'm going to have my first fight, I don't know where they're going to give it to you. But let's pretend you call Rogan.

Rogan goes, yeah, I'll talk to Dana. And we'll put you in the fucking UFC. It's not that simple. It was because you showed up on an envelope. And the UFC knew it and they took a chance. Well, to me, it seems the only, I'm not even. aside from CM Punk, it seems like the UFC and the WWE must be doing some sort of deal because they're using CM Punk, which the WWE must own some part of the name.

You can't call yourself your wrestling name in the UFC, which is kind of weird. But it's, it's, a lot of people are saying it's unfair, and I guess it is, but at some point you have to understand, like you said, the UFC is a business. So there's no, this isn't like a state run. you have like a fight league this is a business who can do whatever they want and but like the one thing i got from from him and i just i just feel terrible he just seems so lonely like whenever when i was watching that like the un un embedded or whatever he was just in his house like he's getting all this hate online and i personally i felt like his speech at the end was a little bit corny like

it just seemed a little bit out of place at the ufc but it had a nice message and i just felt like he's a nice guy and he's just getting just shit on like constantly you know i i sat there last night here i am a little on the stone side and i'm sitting and i'm thinking of myself well you know what man at the end of the day would joe dares have done it fuck you yeah fuck no fuck you i would have had an anxiety attack walking to that octagon that my head would have blown up even if i were to train for two years even if I lost 15 out of six or whatever the fuck it was I would have the anxiety that I would die I would die I could have dealt with the 15 in the fucking octagon I would have lost the first three and then at least the next three fights I could throw a punch I would have got a fucking a sweep

I would have got a hip escape you know back to my guard I could do those simple fucking things but I was on and then maybe the the ninth fight I knocked them down and I got on top of them in the time right out. You know, so I did a little fucking well. You know, I don't, I wouldn't have been ready for the UFC. I would have fucking had a nervous breakdown. So in my mind, all I wanted to say on Twitter was, I didn't know he was, you know, he looked like a fucking dork to me every time I saw him. I mean, it's not like he came in looking like Brock Lesnar all yoked and shit. No. You know, you could see the steroids wore off. You know, you could see that. It doesn't take a fucking genius. He went in there.

He got beat up like that. People like he can look like an asshole in front of 11 million people. I got to tell you something. To me, he looked like a guy with balls. I wouldn't have done that. Hell no, I wouldn't have done it either. But. I don't like how people say he was delusional.

He raised his hand. Maybe he was delusional. But somebody should have said sit on the, let me talk to you about something. Listen, things are bad. Those guys hit really fucking hard. You were in professional wrestling. They don't do dick in there like what they do in the U.C. They body slam you.

Those punches to the fucking head. You'll hear rings later on. You'll think that somebody grabbed you by the head and they tapped. That's how fucking hard those punches are to your fucking head. I think, but nobody did that. They said, you want to fight. It's a good idea. We'll get your fight.

Train for two years and let them know when you're ready. It's not the guy's fault, man. It's like a fight tomorrow. Call Madison Square Garden and go, you know what? I'm ready to fucking sell mass with Greg on. They go, hold on, Joey. Let's look at the computer. They'll come back and go, are you fucking crazy?

But if I get some weird lady and she's like, we can make money some way. There's some way we can make money with this. Or we can build this up to be an event or something like that. It just didn't get built up or anything like that. So it backfired the whole way through. I feel bad for the guy. I would feel really bad if they didn't give him another fight.

I hope they just give him something, not easy, but just like, give him something. So what weight last does he fight in that? Let me check. I think it's 170, but I like just probably another promotion or something for a little bit. That's right.

How old is he? Sam Punk, he's old. Well, not really, but he's like mid-30s, probably. Let me check. It just to me, I see sometimes, I think it's balls, and I applaud the guy,

whether I like his beliefs and I don't even know anything about him. I'm just saying, and I, that's what I thought it last night when I was stoned to the fucking gills, that this guy had balls, that's it. Somebody took it else as a business friend, and this guy had fucking balls, boom, that's it. People got pissed off at me in Twitter. I woke up this morning with 2,000 angry fucking tweets. Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Buh, blah, blah, blah. Matt Mittreone got involved, John Fitt. I'm like, guys, all I said was that fucking, at the end of the day, I got to give the guy some credit. I don't care if he got embarrassed in front of 11 million people. sometimes you've got to get in battles He had some defense He didn't just get destroyed

It wasn't like he got knocked out in three seconds He defended a little bit And he's 37 and he's a middle weight Yeah that's tough age Well God bless him man The internet has just become A weird thing I have a lot of good times in the internet

But I see a lot of dumb shit on the internet And I gotta be honest I see 70% dumb shit And 30% of shit that matters Not even 30% from me out Or at least 30 that, like, on social media? Is that what you mean? Well, you know, like I told you, I said, Lee, Lincoln, then don't stop.

They don't stop. They're not going to stop? I don't know what I'm going to do. I've never signed a contract. Nothing to be with Lincoln. They keep sending you. Someone else by your email in. Listen, I have, I love my Twitter.

I really do. I have fun on my Twitter. I can't be on it all day. No. I love my Facebook because I have two sets of completely different friends on my Facebook. You know, I don't take pictures. So I don't like the fucking Instagram that much, taking pictures of meat and lunch and shit like that. I don't know what else is out there.

You know, people keep hitting me up with Snapchat. I'm good with Periscope for right now. It's all videos. You don't need to snapchat. Yeah. I don't know anything about this stuff. So the more you let enter your life, the more it takes away from your life. So the more internet things you're playing on

I go to my fitness pal Which takes a couple minutes They're fucked up And I go to Jiujitsujournal.com I write what I learned How I did if I rolled or not How many times I got the shit

knocked out of me I read all that stuff in there But besides that I don't go anything For entertainment If something happens And I see it on the news or something Or they talk about it in the news Or as I'm walking by

I will go on Yahoo News locally or nationwide and read what the fuck's going on. But besides that, I don't let myself get caught up or anything. I don't know what an app is. I don't know how to work a fucking app. None of that shit. It's a huge time suck. And I think that's where a lot of people in my age are getting stuck in the daydreaming part because they go on Facebook and they put up a post.

Like, I, there's a thing now on Facebook, like, on this day, and I hate it because I was a douchebag. Like, not even how I wasn't mean, but I'm just looking at my status is, and I'm like, God, no wonder, I didn't have any friends. Like, they're just terrible. And it's just like, you're like, oh, I'm not letting anything get to me anymore and all that baloney that's on there. Because I just think it's, I think, and it's, you know what's crazy? I'm, I started looking into some Facebook ads for some people. They can literally, they can send ads to you if you're in a relationship, if you're in a, if you just gotten a new job, if you just moved, if you, if you just broke up, they can send

ads to you based on everything. Everything that you're putting on there, they can send ads to you on now. So the computer knows what type of stuff you're putting on your page? Facebook knows, yeah. Facebook knows. And they attack that. They have the ability to, yes. So that means everyone is, yes. So that's why people who have been. in relationships for a while, probably getting like, like, I get a engagement ring ads now.

I've been in a relationship with Paula for the over three years. And they know it. And I stupidly, ooh, I want to get the likes on the, in a relationship. So now they know, I'm sure you'll get, do you get, you might want to look next time your anniversary with, with your wife comes up. See if you get like anniversary reminders. I don't think I put it on that. Oh, that's on there.

Okay. No, no, no, no. I gave him as limited information as I could to get the fuck on there. Yeah, let's not. You're going to go to the house. You just said something to me before. You thought I smoked in the house? I didn't know you smoked.

I didn't think. I can smell it a little bit when I go in there. And then I just know you have access to the outside pretty close to your... Where do you smell in the office? Just when I walk in, I can just smell that it's... I don't think anyone's smoked in there, but I can just smell that it's there. Oh, no, no, there's a fireplace. Oh, okay.

So it smells like smoke. Oh, okay. then the other time. It scares the shit out. You think something's burning. Lee, I got to tell you something. I don't want to talk to some people about this. I used to smoke in the house until my wife got pregnant.

Okay. And I'm old school. Lee. I don't give a fuck whether I got a license or not. I smoke reefer if I got it. If I'm at your house watching a movie, I'm lightened up a fucking joy. That's it. I'm not going out to the balcony.

You know, there was no being cautious when I was growing up. There just wasn't, so it didn't stick with me. As I got old, I realized, yeah, I got a smoke on the balcony. When I go to a hotel, I don't spark in the fucking room. That's like inviting help on the road because it's right in your room. And you get charged or they charge the room 250. And if somebody complains, security knocks at your fucking door, like in the nice hotels. And you don't need that in your fucking life.

What if they throw you out? What if they decide to call a fucking cop? I'm sitting there with three more fucking joints or a lollipop or something. That's control of whatever. Yeah. So, you know what? I take the joint. I bring my iPod and I go for a walk around the fucking city.

And I smoke a fucking joint right on the open. I go to like a little park where they have a memorial for some fucking old man soldier from 19, fucking 10, like on a horse or something with a hat. make believe I'm reading it and I just take a little fucking it. You know where there's going to be a cop or something? No, I'll look around. If there's a cop there's a car, right? Not necessarily. Yeah, but usually, how many fucking

cops do you see on a beat anymore? Unless you're watching a movie from New York. You don't see cops on a beat, not in L.A. Not up here. I would be nervous of like a cop of duty. No, no, no. When I was in Larry, me and Larry walked to Las Vegas Boulevard and stat under the fucking elevator and just smoked right there. Oh, God. And you know, people pulling our stores in the cars

asking us what we were doing and shit and you would answer just sitting out here really what are you doing on here you're smoking no because I had the joint cup in my fucking head but just because I'm a fucking

I love to smoke I have never since my wife told me she was pregnant have I ever even considered smoking that fucking house I wouldn't just because the way I was raised and looking back, I didn't like it.

I didn't like it. You know what? There's always, my mom respected me in other ways, but that was one way that I didn't like it. When I was a kid, I smelled marijuana. I didn't like it. I should have never smelled that shit.

Because once you smell it out, once you smell it in your house, then you smell it out, then your head blows up because people like, that's marijuana. Have you smelled that before? And you got a lie. No, not really.

Meanwhile, you're thinking your mom smokes fucking refrin. Her friend, smokes reef and this is why they go out on the balcony and this is why you found rolling papers. It really wasn't fucking Louis tobacco. So that's how I found that. I put two and two together and then I knew what that fucking smell was. Then, yeah, my godfather smoked around me. He told me not to say nothing.

Am I mad? It's weird. I'm not mad at my godfather for smoking pot around me, but I'm mad at my mother for smoking pot in the house. Why? You know, whenever I smoked with Gabby, we smoked in the car. And we smoked after Chinese food. I didn't say we smoked. I'm sorry.

He smoked. I was a young little boy. But my mother smoked in the fucking house. And looking back on it, you're disrespecting the fucking house. Just what the whole family thing. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. You know I'm weird about this shit.

So that's why I don't want to do it in front of mercy in the house. I don't want to smell it. I have my pipe hidden in the yard, my lighter. She can't find it. that even if she fucking wanted to I hide it right in the fucking barbecue thing where you pick it up Oh so let's hit it

The weeds hidden everything is fucking Hidden at all times I don't want to find it I don't want to ask me I don't want to fucking smell it There's going to be a time she's going to smell it And then we'll break it down Have you thought about what you're going to say?

Not really Not really because who the fuck Gives a fuck It'll probably be 10 years from now she'll smell it like three or four years and ask then she'll put it together she'll read about it they'll come with her in school with the damn project

by that time I'm gonna have to be going for walks and have cologne on my neck and change my shirt and shit like that because their senses are so fucking unbelievable she'll ask me why does your shirt smell like smoke people who don't smoke really fucking smell oh yeah it sticks out they really fucking smell

And at this point, it's in my pores, it's in my jeans, it's in my fucking t-shirts, it's in my geese, it's in my bags. When I grab the bags, I could smell the fucking weed. I have an essence of reef around me. That's what I think I'm smelling in your office. Yeah, I have an essence of reef around me. It's in my clothes. I could smell it.

Sometimes I go on, you know what I smell it when I go on the road? And I didn't put weed in the bag, but there's still, that smell of it in my fucking clothes. All those clothes have been washed with detergent, fabric softener, you know, the whole fucking thing, the towel and the fucking dryer. They've just been fumigated with weed smoke for so long? No, it just goes into your pores. I think there's nothing really you can fucking do about it. Once it goes into your pores and you sweat it out there. And it's not like, I think from us eating it, I think it also has to do with the CBD all I'm using now.

Okay. It has to do with now I'm putting it in my system at a lot of different levels. Oh How's the CBD oil going? I'm so sorry I'm very sorry about that I'm going to be honest You people at home

I've been doing the CBD since we had the guests Hawaiian Chris on the show And I'm going to tell you what I've experienced Do I still have fucking pains Yes But I'm also a 300 pound man Going to Jiu-Jitsu

And wrestling with young kids and sometimes I rush up and get, the bottom line is this. I used to have this chronic, chronic knee pain. It's pretty much the pain is lowered to the minimum. If I twist my leg a little bit, it's lowered to the minimum. So maybe from a good, what to a one on a scale, one to ten? I went from, I went from a eight to a two.

Damn. The pain in my wrist, I still have it, but the flexibility and the mobility is unbelievable. I hurt my wrist for you people. You can't see it. It's fucking brown right now. Right, Lee? What color do you see it?

Like, have you're right? And it was like only a little bit. It was just a little bit. This was an arm bar that got caught maybe three weeks ago. Oh, my God. And then it hurt my wrist. And, hey, what are you going to do? It doesn't hurt now.

I keep putting nice on it. I go to the doctor anyway, Tuesday at 8.30 in the morning. So if I could stay alive till then, we're good. I love that your doctor was on the show on Friday, and you're just like, Doc, am I okay? That's my Cuban doctor. I don't think he's a doctor anymore. I met him about 15 fucking years ago at the comedy store. And we became friends.

But he had a quality that I knew he couldn't be a good doctor. What was that? He always had a different woman with him. That seems like a good thing. If I'd see him on Friday and Saturday, he had two different women with him. Fuck. And he was doing powder and he was jumping up and down. You know, a doctor.

I had the doctor of doctors. And I saw his decline. I saw his decline. A man that I loved very much. He wasn't only my doctor, but I loved him very much. Jesus, my fucking prote. Thank you. He was my doctor.

So I became friends with him. Then he became my, you know, even when my mom was alive, he knew things that my mom, he wouldn't tell my mom. You know what I'm saying? You could find it at him. yeah, I confide in them and, you know. Thank you, Lee. Look at you. Lee's fucking producing tonight, turning off microphones and shit,

but I confide on them. And then I fucked it up because I stepped over the line. I went over there and tried to get a, I traded him cocaine for steroids. Fuck. You're from the doctor you had as a family.

My family. fucking doctor. After my mom died, I kept in touch with him, and I would go over and get prescription from time to time. You know, from my throat and shit, he wouldn't charge me. He'd call the fucking pharmacy for me. And then

at 82, everybody was shooting liquid steroids. The ones that you shoot with a needle into your arm and stuff. And I had a friend one day. That was a dear friend of mine. And we were talking one day, and he spoke about, he wanted oral steroids if I could get them and I thought I banged my head everyone I couldn't

get them one day I go you know what I gotta go down there anyway let me ask him and one day I went down there he got me like a half of physical he wouldn't take blood out he knew I didn't like needles and shit and uh I just asked him I said what can you get me and he goes what do you want to do and I told him he gave me a prescription of win winstrow v okay would he be oral and I was would take him to the pharmacy, and I would sell them to my friend. That's fuck, like, that's not, like, I'm surprised you're so, like, so, so about it. Like, that's fucked up, but you knew him since you were. A kid, and then I got to the point where I was going over there twice a month to pick up a prescription for Winnie V or Anavar.

Okay. And the boat, they're just mild steroids. Okay. And he'd ship them over to a pharmacy, and I'd go to the pharmacy as whatever, and I'd fucking take them and I'd sell them to my buddy just like that that's a lot to do man no what's there to do it's fucked up it seems to see it's controlled a lot more now oh back that it wasn't as control as it was now they weren't looking for steroids mild steroids annavara and winnie v are mild steroids they usually give it to people after surgery after a burn stuff like that

because it builds up the skin, you know. I think what it is, is like when you say these kind of things, I think, like, I think back to my family doctor. And, like, until the time I was 18 or something, probably until the time I'd even left for college, like, she had, like, the little pictures up on the wall and you got stickers as you left,

and I can't imagine going to them six years later and trying to get a prescription for steroids. It's just so far out of my realm. Lee, since my, how far my memory goes back, he was my doctor. Fuck. He was my doctor all the way when I lived on 29th Street. But I don't remember the drama until 205 West 88th Street.

The drama with needles? With needles. That's when he would come over with the long, you know, like the jackets, the rain jackets and he would have the little bag with him and that's fucking great he talked to my mother and the babysitter and then I would be walking the room and take my temperature and then he'd take okito I gotta give you a needle and I go no no and he'd go look at your throat and he'd worked through the steps of me he was a great guy that's why I loved

him because he would get the mirror and show me my throat and get the stick and then take the fucking things and put him on my own heart he was a great doctor right he tried everything he'd do to relax me and then he fucking, you know, try to con me. He'd go, all right, what do you want to do? You want it in your arm or in your leg? And I go, I don't want it anywhere. He goes, we just had a talk.

You were just going to let me do it. And I go, no, let me think about it. And he'd go, okay. And he'd go out of the room. And my mom would offer him if he was hungry or if he wanted a beer, and he would start fucking drinking. And he would do like three fucking cocktails. And then he'd come back in there.

So what do we decide? Oh, no, give me. 10 of 1 minutes. And then he'd go out there and do like a blast of coke with my mom or the babysitter wherever was in the living room. Then he'd come back all coped up and him and my mom would come in. Like, what the fuck? You're ready?

My mom would come and yell, let's do this shit. And I go, no, let me think about it. I'm almost ready. And he would go out and do another blast. Then he'd come in and fucking give me the shot. My ass would be purple because I'd tighten up. And I tightened up in those days. so my leg would get tight to resist a needle

needles would fucking go in you and then my whole ass cheek would get purple it was horrifically horrific when I used to go to the doctor my mom would take us for ice cream after this guy wouldn't give me no lollipop or nothing he just talked to me about life and girls and cars and movies

he was that type of doctor he was a hip fucking doctor man and I knew he was always kinky I just didn't know what he did you know I found out what he did when I got off on Coke the first time I thought about him what do you mean you when you got off on Coke

because I did coke for a year when I was a kid and nothing ever happened okay oh when you get on and one day I drank alcohol and the coke hit me oh it became something else and then after that the coke started hit me every time I drank alcohol okay

so then what happened when he went to get off for a year when you got off what for a year you said you got off coke for a year and you thought of him I thought of Dr. Dovali yeah because I realized the reason why his jaw would move

uh whenever he would come into the room his jaw would move that's a basic cocaine signal like when you have a thousand friends who their fucking jaws go for hours whenever his jaws went and then one day I put it together I got high and I'm like oh shit

so all those years Doval was doing fucking coke. So I didn't hit him up until that time. Remember, I got really sick when I was 16, the summer of 79. I got really fucking sick. I got lung infection. And I got a lung doctor brought in to specialize and stick the scope down my throat and scrape my lung and see what was on there.

Before they scrape my lung, I called the ovale and told him to come to the hospital. I'm like, listen to something. I got to tell you. You got to get in that fucking emergency. see room or wherever the fuck it is when they're scraping my lung you gotta hide the results from my mom he's like what are you talking about and I'm like listen I did crystal T8C and he goes what the fuck are you talking about I did some shit that you snort and he goes you know that's angel list that's the first person that ever told me that was angel list I was like a

fucking naive kid that's 16 doing of Jesus Christ that summer we were doing a lot of it like that's six months prior to it. So it was going to be all over my lungs. And he goes, listen, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'll look at the report. And if it's on there, I figure out how to get it off. But I want you to make me a promise. Don't do that shit no more.

And I looked at him like, oh, well, you, I think you do, you know, like we had, and he told me to my, at that time, I hadn't done coke. I always knew he was up to something. I just didn't know what, you know. Oh, okay. But once I got high, like a year later, I put two and two together, and I go, that's what this motherfucker was doing.

So now I'm going to break his ball. I never broke his balls about it, to be honest with it. But the first time I asked him for the steroid prescription, he goes, take the prescription. But the next time you come here, you better bring me a present, and then better not be aspirin. Fuck.

So I would show up there. And go, let me get another prescription here. I brought you something. And just those three or four bumps he do, I would never do the coke in front of them. I had known them that long. So at that time, those people did not know I was doing coke.

Okay. I just told them that I had friends who did it. They got really good Coke, and this was a present for him for helping him out. I told him that the kid he was giving the steroids to was sending him coke. Oh. So how would you make money?

Would you make money? I'd go into the city, and I'd get an eight ball of coke, right? But like $2.50 a fucking eighth, And then I throw a gram on it. And I get four and a half grams. So now what did I pay? 250.

Right? And how many grams I got? Four. So what's that divided into 250? 70. Yeah, 60 bucks. $62. Yeah.

60. So in those days, cocaine cost $100 fucking bucks. Okay. All right. So I would take the fucking cocaine and bring it to him. He'd do it, lose his fucking mind. He'd give me the prescription. The prescription would cost me $6.

I would take it to my friend and he'd give me $200. So it would cost me $75 and I'd make $125 profit. That's not bad. It's a lot of work, though. No, it wasn't no work at all. Well, it's dangerous. It's like a lot. What?

Glee, are you fucking crazy? What do you mean crazy? What danger? What danger is there? Where is you encounter the danger? Buying Coke, transporting Coke? No. you just met me two days ago you what did you become a fucking a gentile if you watch narcos i know you

didn't get the car this is in good this was when you looked so much the part you lived so much the part that it was like you felt invisible it was like you felt invisible timmy hollowies listening to this right now and next time i have a conversation he'll tell me of I used to go into the city and it was like I didn't matter. Sometimes I have 200 on me. Sometimes I had 700 on me. Sometimes I had 1,200 on me and I look you as a face as a man. I never worried one time.

Never worried one time. Coming back over that tunnel, I always knew that if you went over the tunnel, don't come back over the tunnel. Come back over the bridge. that's math one oh fucking one that's math one oh one if you take the bus over the fucking tunnel you take the train uptown

and you take the fucking bus over the Lincoln Tunnel now over the bridge vice versa also you make something out of it so they don't pinch you as a fucking whatever you always have an excuse for why you went there but what if the cops just having a bad day and say hey you're no cops

Cops having a bad day like that. Really? No cop. You have a daily news under your arm. You have a Uhoo. You have a jean jacket. It looks like you fucking belong there. And you're just walking down the street.

Inside the jean jacket, there's a flat pocket. If you have a lead jean jacket, a wrangler, and you could tuck your fucking 12 or 15, 14 grams all the way down to the bottom. And nobody knows nothing. It would be the biggest thrill of your life you're walking down. Now you've got to make sure that you don't go into nowhere weird. What are you saying, Joey?

Don't stop with a fucking porno hub because they got people that you never know. You take your jacket off, the chick's giving you a lap dance, and next thing you know, she's clipping your 12 grams of coke. So you go from point A to point B.

A lot of things can happen when you have that blow in your pocket. That's the danger. Exactly. That's what I'm scared of. No, there's nothing's going to happen. The worst thing you and I are going to do with two fat fucks. We're going to stop at raised pizza and get a slice of pizza and a soda.

That's it. If I had that on me, I wouldn't stop anywhere. And maybe we won't stop. Maybe we won't stop. We'll just shoot right down. We got to stop and get a hot dog. Why? Because we had to go over there for something.

We had to go over there for Sunday. So we're not lying. Can't do that first? No. Yeah, it depends. If you and I come up the tunnel, yeah, I could stop. at the fucking some pizza

on 88th street and shoot up, get the fucking two weight balls and shoot over the fucking thing. Yeah, I'm on stopping at a pizza. No, yeah. I could look in the face and tell you that one time

was I scared bringing that coke over the time or anything. All right, now you go home, you cut it, you sell a little bit of it. You get a ride from a friend of yours from 78th Street, down the 36 in West New York,

down the 36 and where the fuck was his office? 36. It was on that last street between Wee Hawking and the water and it was right down there, Park Avenue. You went down to Park Avenue in Union City. You got, you went into the office. There was no receptionist. It was just him. He was the whole show. He had fucked all the receptionist.

He knocked them up. God knows what could have happened with Orlando. You went in. You gave him the package. That was it. That was the last of the transaction you did. He called the pharmacy. So I got back in my buddy's car and he gave me a ride. By the time I get to the pharmacy, the prescription's ready. In my head, I'm like, okay. I got an idea in my pocket with my name on it, and I take the prescription with my name on it. That's it. It's all legal.

The guy I send it to, I grew up with the fucking guy. It's pills. I know for a fact he does blow. I know for a fact that he's got two kilos at the house, or maybe an ounce or maybe a gram. Doesn't matter to me. First thing I'm going to do is I'm going to take those pills out of that container and put him in a different container.

and light that fucking container on fire like if it was a fucking numbers paperwork. Why? Now, the felony is that they catch him with that container with your name on it. Oh, so just burn the container. Burn the fucking container. I can give him a different fucking container.

Where's the damage, Lee? There's no damage. Where's Tony Bennett? Put that motherfucker on. I want to be around to pick up the pieces. When somebody breaks your heart, some somebody twice as smart as I'm a somebody who will swear to be true as we used to do with Lee. All right, cut that right there, Lee. want you to find Frank Sinatra, I want to be around.

Okay. I'm going to teach a little lesson. Shit. Why don't we eat a couple more stars? You know what I'm saying? A couple more. We're getting the party started. It's fucking Monday, September 11th.

And we're celebrating by doing a special podcast. Right. You know, out of respect, that's the least we could do. I don't want to come on here and have a wine fest or whatever. All I want to do is let them know, I acknowledge him. Here's the ego. There you go. Who should say you like me?

He said great. All these need is whipped cream. This is the best flavor I've ever tasted in my life. You know, there's no-weeding it. There's like fucking no milligrams of it. 50, yeah. With that chocolate from Chebichu is very good. It is.

I just saw you go like this, like two times. Listen to Frank Sinatra's version. To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Somebody twice as smart. What am I going to do with you? All right, I'm on James Brown's version. This is blonde lime. James Brown?

Oh, really? Uh-oh. Bam, we got two more bags of stars here. It's turned into a good fucking party tonight, see? Me, you and I always get creative. Oh, yeah. And if I look, I notice they hit an acid somewhere in this line office, understand me?

Let's tell him not. Well, thanks, Gary. Like me, me, cuck, sucker. Nobody. Right now, you'd be at home with Paula somewhere, rubbing your feet, watching bad TV. This is James Brown. Mm-hmm. This is amazing.

Three completely different, Walt Sinatra and whatever, Cruz. I want to be a racist. Somebody breached. Somebody twice. Small as I. Somebody. Black dude used to eat

That's fucking amazing A black dude that's tremendous And two crooners Singing the same fucking song With two different twists on it This is the shit that makes my dick hard Because It just goes to show you

You could fucking cook spaghetti 50 different ways You know what I'm saying? I feel like Paul made me spaghetti carbonara Last night Which one was in it? It's like the one with a little bit of bacon in it And then it's like a little bit of Just butter and egg

And she just With an egg yolk Yeah Or the whole egg I don't know She made it And then you put Parmesan cheese

On that Motherfucker fuck Yeah I used to eat That all the time She made it for me She made it for me She learned How to make it

In Italy It's fucking She brought Back recipes From Italy She was fucking lucky She couldn't bring you Back a fucking salad

It's gotta be pasta With an egg butter More butter No but we did She's yelling She's yelling at one Well I'm

She's just Spray butter No No No No you spray butter you get more some worse with this shit she wouldn't she made it

she wouldn't use spray butter she thinks the same way good does she take and throwing the garbage not she doesn't go to that level yet well that's don't ever have me over yon it's the first time you go to the bathroom I'll throw that fucking thing out I wanted to tell when I was a kid I started throwing away people's ashtrays why because I hated them

I hated ashtray so when people weren't looking like throwing their fucking ashtrays away why didn't you like ashtray my friend George I threw all his ashtrays away when they lived on me in Boulder. And what would he say? I'd ask him he was crazy. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

What would I take your ass trail? I don't smoke pot. I don't smoke pot. I smoke on outside. He wouldn't know. I love fucking with people. Sometimes he's going to take the ashtray. Sometimes you always ask me about drugs late at night.

Like one night, Lee called, and we had a two-hour conversation about a drug network. like Lee was asking me about my friend who sells coat when I was telling Lee that I've known these guys in Hollywood that I've been selling them since 97 I met them through a white Jewish dude named White Lightning and White Lightning used to sell weed

and used to date of a black chick that used to fuck the same coat dealer and he didn't know it he thought they were just friends he was fucking and she had a kid and she was half Jamaican and he was this Jewish dude that you could just take money from him at the time Josh Wolf and I

Josh Wolf had an apartment in this building and he would be very paranoid about hiding his weed in his apartment so he would hide in the parking garage and we would steal it once a month then when he caught on he started hiding in some girls apartment he'd have three four pounds at the time because that's what he does he's a promoter slash weed dealer So if you want to buy the good weed You gotta go to the parties and pay 20 to get in and buy his fucking weed

It was a great scam you had going on What was I talking about? It's stealing Joshua's weed So uh No we're talking about a drug thing Oh yeah the people who you met The your drug dealer in Hollywood So I met this kid

And uh I went over there a few times The Coke was good You know at this time I didn't want to go to the store and buy it all the time You know when you're a fucking junkie you got to have a different couple different outlets. Nobody catches on to what you're doing. So I had our compadre. I had the comedy store and I met this guy and he goes, he'd get good Coke. So he introduced me to this kid and I would go over there. It was walking distance from my house, which is perfect in Hollywood. And I would walk

over there and buy coke from him. It was him and a white dude at the time. And I would go over and say hello and they were playing those games. They were playing those stupid video games at the cord and shit and a fucking thing in the living room and they would argue and then their friends would come over and I went over there one time and they had stitches they got robbed and they got beat up and shit and they told me they didn't have a gun like what type of drug dealers don't have fucking guns so I went and got him a fucking piece how nice of you yeah and then we became friends ever since and I started going over there but you were asking me their existence how he still is in business that was the conversation we had this night and how like how you

could survive and not go to jail, like how he could survive as a, and make a living? At this time right now, I talk to him once a month. Okay. And I know what type of actually does. I know how he does it. And I don't, how he moves. He's got kids, and he's very careful. Okay.

He's all right careful. Even years ago, very careful, very careful. All right. He controlled everything from. A to Z. Do you follow me? In his whole life or just hit this operation he had. He would pick up at a certain place an hour away from here

because he had dealt with these guys for 20 fucking years. And he would get the specific brand of powder, Mexican dudes, fucking really good Coke. He would bring it back to some chick's house in the valley. would chop it up. I think he would put it in a safe or something. I don't know exactly, but he would take it. He would never take it to his house in Hollywood.

He had another apartment in Hollywood, or he had somewhere where he made pit stops. He never really had the same car. He always had a bicycle, or... But the beauty about these guys are that lead him to understand was that his customer base is maybe 12 to 14 people. He doesn't go outside that customer. base.

He knows if something's up, if somebody comes to him with a weight problem. You know what I mean? No, I don't know what that means. So Lee Syatt is a comedian, and he makes pretty good money, and he always cops an eight more from me when he comes back on Sunday nights. He may cop another one on Tuesday, but if he's in town, he cops on Thursday and Friday and Saturday some nights. Lee's a good customer.

What if Lee calls me one night and he goes, hey, can I come over with the house? I want to buy two ounces of Coke. Right there, there's something going off. This guy never buys two ounces of coke. Even though he's a good customer? Good customer. All of a sudden, he hit the jackpot. No, I don't have it.

And you hang up the fucking phone. And you disconnect your page. You lay low for a few days. You clean out your house and you move on with your life for a bit. About a month. Just from that one phone call. That's crazy. That's what a professional does.

I never did it. I wasn't a professional, but that's why he's been doing it for 16 years. You asked me, what does he make a year that night? I told you he probably makes a quarter of a million dollars selling nothing bigger than April's. He's got such a strong contingent

of Hollywood producers directors, writers that want very much what's that word called? They don't want. They want the... They just want the coolness of it? No, no, no.

When I was in high school, there was a teacher I met, Mr. McGrath. And the reason why Mr. McGrath was delivered Coke was because it's better than a Spanish guy delivering Coke to the house. Oh, okay. In those days, it wouldn't look good

if a Colombian came over at his house. so they'd have this guy come over as a white guy to look nice. My friend, that, you know, he looks nice. You know what I'm saying? It's not like he looks like some fucking vampy. He's always dressed to the nines. You know, he's always got a cover. He goes to acting class.

Every week, he books commercials from time to time. He's not a big time actor, but he's got that cover. He also has another fucking cover. But I know what he sells. every night. He's got to be pushing an ounce now. A night? A night. In eight chunks, sometimes six chunks. That seems like a lot, doesn't it? Sometimes four chunks. Sometimes you'll sell four quarter ounces to four people. Boom, you got an ounce sold. He always shuts down at one. He used to shut down at 11. If you call him at a minute after 11, his phone's turned off. Me and him were so tight.

that I was allowed to go to his house, leave, and then he'd meet me somewhere. Do you know what I'm saying? Why would you have to do that? Because I would never leave with something in my pocket and leave him in there. So he was that good with me. So remember I showed you last week in Hollywood? We were at the light, and I saw that computer store. Right, yeah.

And I go, that's where I used to meet Dante. That was a 24-hour fucking... Internet Cafe. A cafe. And computer cafe. So people go in there all night and get on the computers. He would sit in there all night and be on the computer like a fucking nerd. And then you just go in there.

Everybody thought he was a computer nerd. No, he was in there moving fucking blow. See, that seems like how people would be like, why is someone coming in here? I'm seeing him every night. Was he there every night or would he change? He would sit there on the weekends. The owners knew him.

Everybody didn't know him. Nobody said a word to him. He'd bring coffee. He'd bring donuts. He'd sit in the back with earphones on. He'd sit in back with earphones on the computer And then you came in, hey, what's going on? He'd shake your hand, the money was in your hand,

and he put the money on the computer You took the eight ball off the fucking computer. I'd give him credit. I'd give him fucking credit. Hey, listen to, he beat the system. He figured out a way to beat the fucking system. But the issue I have with it... He put a kid through college.

Uh-huh. Put his kid through fucking college. That's amazing. Like nothing. happen like they live like in a nice you know like nobody knows nothing the thing that doesn't that the why i still don't think i don't understand how it's possible still i understand what you said it's like you you have these rules with yourself like the the uh the no texting whatever or this and we always talk about how how dumb people are sometimes

i don't trust i i think i would maybe trust you if I was going to sell coke to anyone like if for whatever reason I was a Coke dealer I think you would be the only person in my life who I would trust. I don't think I could trust anyone else. I can't find 12 people who I would trust. What if one night you get coked up and you want Coke and you don't care that I'm closed at 11?

Like it's just No, no, no, but remember you're going to have a bartender at the comedy store. You're going to have a musician at the whatever. Okay. You're going to have yourself a waitress at the rock seat. You're going to have a matri-D at fucking Cafe Leo.

You're going to have yourself these people. And you're going to get to know them. And, you know, if you avoid the first five or six years, you're good. You're pretty fucking good unless you're stupid. You go out every night you drink. You have to blow on you. It's in the trunk of your car. You got a scale in your house.

Then you go into different realms. The problem with that shit where he succeeded is that he always, It always sticks to his rules. I don't think a lot of people do that. The what? I don't think a lot of people do that anymore. Well, we had this conversation you and I last week on the phone. And it's called scheduling.

And the same problem I'm having right now in my life is where you have to be him. I've been thinking a lot about him and how tight he runs his game. And how he takes vacations. He doesn't have stuff in his house. You know, he has counter surveillance stuff. He has an attorney on call. I mean, he's a one-man store. Okay, he doesn't have an assistant.

He doesn't have 10 guys around them with weapons and jumping up and down. There is nothing. If he walked in here right now, you think he worked with me in a movie or you thought he was a fellow comedian or whatever. He doesn't really, he drinks, but in his house. He gets fucked up. He doesn't do powder at all. Does not do any powder at all.

Did he ever? Nope. Nope. Never did powder whatsoever. How fucking crazy is that? That's the one that always got me. If that thing was in my living room, I was doing it, Jack. But he doesn't do it.

It's these little rules. I don't have his home number. I have his main phone, but everything else is throwaway phones. he calls you from throwaway phones he goes through six different numbers a month but I call him on his main cell phone on his main cell phone there's no business to talk no I gotta see you know

what time can you swing by I know nothing how you doing what's going on do you have a spot tonight yeah I may come by not really I'm out of town blah blah blah blah love you all right love you too that's it because he's worried about surveillance Right. So he'll call me, he would call me or see me and go, this is the number. I'm going to be until midnight. At midnight, the pumpkin fucking dies. And at midnight, that pumpkin died, Jack. When I first met him, he would go through phones once a week. New phone number. Fuck. And he'd make one run or two runs. He'd always have a woman with him. And did he like

The only thing I know No fancy car That doesn't even know the car How do you get all the phones Because like in the water They had to send them down You cut a deal with somebody And I asked them

What somebody brings them hot phone To something 24 hour phones brother Or you go to 711 I guess Or Radio Shack I think it's 711 right You buy the 24 hour phones Yeah you can do that Yeah

Those little fucking little Ali kebab phones, whatever to do, who blew off the World Trade Center, whatever's name. So how would he, would he, I don't think you wrote your number down, did he? No.

And if he does, I don't do blow. It's got nothing to do with me. No, no, that's not what I meant. Like, if he was changing numbers all the time,

how would you get into contact with him? Like, how would he remember people's numbers? He had them all in his head. No way. He called you and said, I'm going to be here for three days. You got that money you owe me? You know,

he called you and said, can I see him? I'd meet him. I'd meet him. and I take something else from him. He'd disappear for four more days. I'm in awe of him. When we got into that conversation,

I had just spoken to him like three days. When I go to Hollywood, like when I go to Hollywood Tuesday, I'll call him as I'm leaving the doctor's office because he's right around the corner. Do you guys ever get together anymore, hang out? No, I pull up in front of his house. I give him a big hug. He asked me how the baby's doing.

I ask him how his kid is doing. He bitches because the kid goes to school out of state that's killing him. So we complain about that. And that's where it had. I tell him how much I love him when I fucking drive off until the night. Every once in a while, I'll call him. And then, like, if you need ecstasy in Vegas, I can get your ecstasy in Vegas during it.

Does he ever propose? Hey man, you need anything? No. When I stopped doing Coke, I didn't call him for like two months, even though he called me. I didn't call him for like two months, maybe three months. Okay. And then one day he came to the store and he was what's going on,

I think I owed him like $600. I told him to take a ride with me. And we went over to the fucking ATM, like in the 400 that I could take out. And I said, give me a few weeks. I'll give me the other two. And he asked me what's going to. he had some new shit if I needed it, he could swing it by. I go, no, I'm done.

And we talked and he goes, I'm really happy. He goes, one night you came over and you kind of scared me. And I remember that I was fucked up. You know, I didn't like leaving the house tonight that cook. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't like leaving the house. For me to leave the house, it has to be that I'm going crazy. Why?

Because I'd be so paranoid and so fucked up towards the end. those last couple of years. My friend died, Marilyn Martinez. But before Maryland died, her husband, a year before Maryland died or two years, her husband got addicted to fucking oxycone. No, Vicodins. Viscence. Big time, big time.

And Bobby Lee, all those guys were going to San Diego and shit. But when he couldn't go to San Diego, he was broke. He would call me up. I had a friend in Houston that every time I went down there, he would give me a fuck. fucking jar of Vikings. I didn't eat Vikings. I had a bad experience. So I would

bring him back and give him to him. And so what? He would call you every time he didn't have money and ask for those buckets or whatever? Yeah. Pills are scary. I didn't know what the point of that story was. I'm so fucking hot. That chocolate from fucking Cheebacheau was, that's the second

time. Last week, I was scared to drive home. I couldn't even stop and send 11 fucking rolling papers that day. I had to go home. Thank God I found the rolling paper. My fucking, and my goddamn thing. Oh,

I just wanted to mention one thing from what we were talking about earlier with the Working High. What I really wanted to talk about was how, like, it went from the point of me being scared and me being nervous about it. And now you get a note, you told me to stop because now when I get high, I get 8,000 terrible ideas and I call you up and I start giving you ideas. So it's actually gone to a place where you can actually work.

It's actually like a helpful work tool. Like maybe 20,000 of them are terrible, but if one of them is good. The thing about marijuana use is that when you started for, depending on how hard you go at first, it's just you're getting over your and high. You're getting over your high for a long time. Like I can't believe I'm fucking high. And that's like the first two or three or maybe four years. Right.

And then one day, you know, I always did pot like everybody else, right? But then one day you realize, wait a second, I could smoke this and interact with people. And it becomes a complete different fucking game. I, myself, worked three times harder when I smoke marijuana. That's me because I'm used to it. Today I had to do something. I said, let me take five minutes go outside and get my head together. And that's exactly what I did.

And I came back and I did 22 things. I want. I put the videos up. I wrote. I emailed the friend. That works for me. You know, I'm happy it works for you.

I'm happy that you're finally not scared anymore. You know, you were scared because of what your mom told you, what your friends told you, what everybody fucking told you. It's tough fucking living down, man. I was thinking about it today. There's people who listen to this podcast and myself included,

who are like, mad at you every day in our lives because like we'll be sitting to people talk about about this and that and you will just like you can see through the bullshit in it because of all all the stuff we talk about and it's like it ruins like for me like it ruins like watching football all day i used to love watching football all day why can i love watching football all day for my life and not know that i'm being lazy piece of shit why can i just sit there and eat wings and pieces of and give to be 400 pounds. I went through the same fucking thing, brother.

No, man, listen, you, I love your pieces, and you're learning a very valuable education, and you're learning an education that I never fucking learned because people mentioned it to me, and I saw people doing it, but I thought there were suckers, and I thought they didn't have their act together and anything like that, and that was completely wrong, because all those people, they are very successful,

they own things, themselves into something. They're not millionaires, the Forbes top 20 millionaires. They don't have boats. They don't, they didn't want that. They just wanted comfort in their old age. So they would want for nothing when they were

older. They had two kids who got educated or they're three kids. It's very expensive to put your kids through college. It's getting worse and worse. And the thing I learned the most was work ethic. Okay, a couple months ago, something

happened that was very shocking to me and I could see in your face it was wearing on you a little bit okay and now you have to do this you've been doing it all along but now it seems like if you want to start this podcast business

you have a lot of dreams and aspirations you have to do this Paula was preparing for her GMAC whatever the fuck it's called bar bar and Paula knew the importance of this she knew the importance

of this bar and what it meant to her and she had loans on the line and blah blah blah and Paula basically for eight weeks became a fucking refuge and I could see it was worrying on you a couple weeks you're like me we're lonely people we go home and after an hour like well should I jump out the window

and you were calling me doing periscopes eating stars, people hit me up going, Joey's eating stars by himself. But we all learned the lesson, you know, and I never forget when she came back from Italy, I said to you, is she

ready? And you look, to you, like, I don't really know Paul is ready. I don't know if she knows that the vacation's over becomes life, but guess what? She went out the next day and got a fucking job. Yeah, she got the first job she interviewed for. The first job she applied for. No, not applied interval, like, like the real first job she interviewed for what she got back she got the first fucking job so what i'm

trying to tell you people is i learned something from that i learned that maybe paula fail i know she's going to pass because the hours she put into it normal people can't understand that the third day when i call paula and go paula i'm making chicken cullets with refa stars brett pitts here and she's like i can't do it because i got to study from my bar. He would call me and be like, well, what are you guys going to do? And I'm like, uh, nothing. I'm not saying her.

She's studying. It'll be like eight o'clock and I'm like studying. Get over here. You know, and I got it. You get a little different respect for people because they stuck. Yeah. To their fucking guns. Something people don't do.

And then they go one day, oh, I failed. I don't know why. The biggest last. and I want you to listen to this Lee is Timmy, my friend Timmy. God bless him. He's a truck driving. He works five days a week. That's a job he took.

It's a great job. It's a union job. He gets paid well. He gets benefits. That's a job Timmy took. You took a job that you don't really know what this job qualifies. This job is perfectly, you come in today as we smoke. We tape it.

I leave. You cut it and put it up. And you could do whatever the fuck you want after that. Well, guess what? Those results were horrible. Yeah. You gained some weight. You found love and you almost got caught up in the house.

You couldn't get out the one day. You said you couldn't get out. You got so much Chinese food and someone to take out. The sodium had you by the sides and shit. And you realize you got to do something else. And you started making calls in the morning. And when you're a free, Melaan's motherfucker, there's no days off, but there's no days off.

And people don't understand that. And when you have to stick to that program, like, there's always something to do. What we always talk about. There's always something to do. Don't tell me there's nothing to do. You know what? Get up, change the light bulbs. Put that one over there and put that one over there.

There's something to do. That definitely thing got dust on it. There's always something to do at a fucking job. I said to you take the other perspective. We were always talking about an ad salesperson. Right. I said, start making calls. How much success did you have?

Tremendous. Zero. No, you did great. Well, before. Well, no, no. We had the fucking reefer with the pin. They didn't want to lift the rock. You had the fucking reef of people with the license and the fucking IA.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You started getting a couple, and now you realize that you come in here on Sundays, sometime, you get some shit done, and you come in, and you know what, this is come now, this is a six-day-a-week job for you. Oh, yeah. And guess what?

If you open up this fucking podcast business, sorry, Charlie. Sorry, Charlie, this is a seven-day-a-week job. And if there's a leak on Friday night and you're in the movies of Paula jumping up and down, watching one of those bad movies, guess what? You've got to show up at that fucking leak. Oh, I know. It's, to be quite honest. I'm not tired, tired, but like it's, like we were talking about, did I think if Paul

it was ready? This is a small work. And it's just, it's, the hours are weird. It's, it's not that I don't enjoy it and love it and I'm pushing through it, but this, it's a grind. It's at certain points. The podcast. No, well, not, not just the podcast, but then driving down to me, to, to do,

podcasts in Pasadena or in Beverly Hills or something like that or sending emails. And it's like you just said earlier today that you're busy. You said you've been busy for years. So you're getting busier. Like it's just getting, I'm at a different point of being busy and I'm like still getting used to it. Well, you're learning all the possibilities that we could do with the podcast. Right.

Yeah. So right now you're exploring a lot of them where I don't have the. time to explore a lot of them on the other situation. I'm just, and I got to tell you something, it's, it's, I'm just as busy as I am with stand-up as being a dad.

I'm just as busy with the podcast as being a dad. You know, in a way, I don't have time for a social life. Our friend, feebles, the Cuban kid. Right,

yeah. Works in Burbank. Good friend of mine gave me a great big Van Dyke book. I'm going to see if I get Dick Van Dyke book. to sign it before he punches the fucking ticket you know what I'm saying because it's just the book is that great but he's uh we were talking about foods the other night

you know Dante Gazzini same fucking thing you know hit me up and send me pictures of his Cuban food and torrents that Feebles was talking about and listen you're in no danger unless we helicopter it down that's three fucking hours to Torrance it's an hour of Torrance and then now we're

fucking back from Torrance it's not going to fucking happen never now why not Joey I tell you why not I don't have the goddamn time. I wish I did. And if I go down and the bread is bad, I'm going to throw the fucking play that you goddamn head. So forget about this whole fucking thing.

It's not going to work out for you. You know, it's amazing where the time has gone. When I go home, my friend George, you know, you don't want to eat a chance. You want to eat at this Chinese place. Yeah, it's an hour away, George. I don't have that fucking convenience. I got to be in New York City at 7 o'clock.

that means you're going to drop me off around the fucking ferry. So, respect your time, man. If you're a nice schedule, great. Guys, I'm a fucking great schedule. I schedule shit. You know, I have a friend Shane. This is where I learned.

You know Mitch Headberg? Mitch Headberg was a great writer. Right. And a great performer. You know why? Because Mitch shut his phone off from 8 to 12. Every day. Every fucking day.

That seems like a good thing to do. I shut my phone in the morning. When I get back from Mercy, I turn that motherfucker off. Right after the periscope, that phone gets shut off. Till 1 o'clock. The agent knows how to get a hold of me. That's it. Who needs to know who else?

My wife knows how to get a hold of me. That's it. Why? I was wasting too much time for years fucking around. Because every time you get involved in something, the phone rings. All the time. All the fucking time. And the phone rings eight times in a row.

So nothing even starts is that when I go to shut the phone off, there's one line on the fucking page. And I'm sitting there going, Jesus Christ, what happened to the fucking hour and a half? I'm sitting here at Marie E.T. You know how many times I went to Marie E.T? Sometimes I go to Marie E.T. I do great. Sometimes I go to Marie E.T.

I don't do dick. Those are the times I bring the phone to drink coffee with me. So I got a fucking idea. I ain't bringing the fucking coffee over there. I ain't fucking bringing the phone out of the car, no more I put in the trunk with some ice. on top, but to cool it off in the bag. I swear to God, you didn't know that? No, you put it in it so it doesn't overheat?

Yeah, it doesn't overheat because it gets really hot in that fucking parking lot. Let me do some shoutouts, and we'll get the fuck out of here, Lisa. Interesting shit tonight. No, I couldn't believe how pissed off. People got at me up at the CM punk thing, and all I saw it was his balls. I want to apologize for my man Sabatino, not calling internet somewhere along the the line, he got stick of shock. I got to be honest with you guys, this is the fourth time.

I've tried to get somebody from that area to call in, and they won't call it. And then didn't we have someone who... Callos Perez. Yeah. I think another friend of mine, I want to say his name, and a girl. That area down there where I grew up, when my mother died, given that terrorist down there, 38th Street, Charles Court. All those kids have a certain

And it was weird. I took Lee up there. I go, Lee, put the camera down. And right when we got to Charles Court, some guy said, put that fucking camera. And I was like, Lee, I told you. These three blocks here were programmed anti-camera, anti-fucking camera. But I'm really surprised at the Carmine let them tape us in a documentary. It's really surprising to me, especially with that area, especially what he taught us and how he worked.

I don't know, I text Sabatino. You text them. And nothing happened. So I don't know what happened. So I'm sorry to the viewers. This would have been a really good interview. We spoke twice today. We spoke about what we're going to talk about,

the state of mind of what I got from down there, growing up down there. I think a lot of my shit is from down there. It really is. Because there was a lot of old timers down there. I lived on those side streets. And we would always talk to them. And they would express their views.

And I would laugh my fucking ass off. There was one guy, Otino. It was the most racist guy. fucking world right in front of me so I didn't mind and they were like homeless nah he owned one of the houses he was an Italian guy when his wife was selling a balkling and just watch people going up and down the block

and then tell people about everybody's gossip Jesus Christ but when he'd see me go look at the siats over there fucking heaps look I'm bringing in fucking bagel and locks you think they come over here and invite me for bagel and logs fuck no because I'm a Catholic they don't want me

look at the other people up the block the Orpans Look at them. I used to love living in the North End in Boston. Because, like, they would bring, like, I literally had neighbors who would bring their, like, living room ottomans, like, big rocking chair things, down to the street and just sit there shirtless all day talking. Talking. That's it. But they're watching. And he would just sit there with his fucking wife and just watch and complain.

And then as I was walking up the street with the basketball, he would unload on me. Like, you're Spanish. You're never going to be a professional basketball player. You've got a better chance of being a fucking waiter. You and the rest of those spikaroos and they, and I wouldn't get mad at them. I would giggle and call him a guinea fuck, and that was the end of that. Spickaroo? Let me do some shout-outs.

My condolences to Jason Montiero. His wife, my heart goes out to your family, Doral Chandler, Jason Pollock, Lloyd, Charles Sample, Steeleio Contras, El Parco Jr. Meg and Lysili. I also want to talk about this. I'm trying to get leave one of these. They sent me, because the first they said, yeah,

we're going to give you two fucking beds, and they go, no, you got to do one for 30 days and give us these samples. And then, so I don't know how this fucking thing works. I recently moved,

and one of our sponsors, I read great things about their product, and I offered to do like a sample, run or whatever, and they sent me a mattress. And I don't know what the fuck happened. It came in a box, Lee. And I looked at this thing and I'm like, we're getting fucking beat.

This is too small. And it's turned out to be one of the mess mattresses I ever had. As soon as I go over to my wife's side, I can feel the difference. My wife got the cold bed, which stays cool. You know, a couple days ago, I went on their website and I watched what you need to do to get a bed from them. And it really is unbelievable how far we've gone in technical. Now for a bed for 3,000 fucking years everybody slept on a cover with little skinny pines and vines under it and shit It's a complete different situation

You know you're unique you don't walk like everyone else. You don't talk like everyone You don't sleep like everyone so why is your mattress one size fits all? I just this I listen I didn't know about this for years, but I got to tell you something When Helix sleep all that stuff goes away because it's a custom mattress and you thought it was gonna cost you five to ten thousand bucks right not until now what I'm gonna bring you is Helix sleep where you can buy mattresses online customized for hundreds of dollars instead of thousands what you do is you go to helix sleep.com and you answer some simple questions based on four key preferences your weight your height you know what side of the bed does your

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customize, let's say your kid wants to sleep in the middle. They get dick. They get the fucking middle. That's the way it's been more for 2,000 years. It's a great bed. It's comfortable. You know what? It's cheap and affordable. Do me a favor. Go to helixleep.com slash Joey. Again,

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out and press in. Church. And get 10% off and it gets delivered right to your door. Again, I'd like to thank Helix Sleep, and I'd like to thank Aad.com for supporting the podcast. I'd like to thank you guys for listening. Sorry that the fucking pooped out of you,

motherfuckers. But Wednesday, we've got a great guest. And guess what? Thursday, me and Lee, Austin, motherfucking Texas at the Cap City Comedy Club. Go there tonight because tickets are going fast. I don't know what it is about this time of the year. Tickets move. These clubs are small.

Number two, the following week, I'm at Gotham in New York City. Again, I hear the first show's already sold out. So that's what I heard. My buddy of mine call me from New York. He wants a table of eight. So there you go, people. I'm trying to bail you out. I'll see you motherfuckers Wednesday night.

Thank you for supporting this. Thank you for the love. I'm giving you my fucking heart and what I feel. All right, cocksuckers. I want to thank Lee Syatt, my number one fucking dung coon, number one. I love them to death.

Thank you, buddy. I love you, and I can't wait to see everybody on Austin. Everybody always asks. Let's do this shit. Do this shit. This show was brought to you by Helix Sleep. At Helix Sleep,

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