The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #434 - Dean Delray

Episode Date: November 28, 2016

Dean Delray, Comedian, seen on IFC's "Maron", and the Host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, and seen on Maron, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   ZipRecruiter - post your job for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church    MVMT Watches - Go to MVMTWatches.com/church to get 15% off of their high quality watches at revolutionary prices. MVMTWatches.com/church for 15% off, with free shipping and free returns.    Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY to get 2 months for free.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 11/27/2016.
    

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Kick that fucking mulee. It's Monday morning. We ain't got time to, fuck around. November 28, bitches. The day the devil was buried at sea, raped, hitting the head with a fucking sealed bat. Oh my God. You kidding me or what? Like I said, it's time to see the devil motherfuckers. The church of what's happening now. My main man, Lee Syatt, and my main musical fucking Gumbar Dean Del Rizzi. Yes. How are you, back? It's fucking Monday.

After Thanksgiving, you know, everybody got that first holiday. That's it. People are fucking Jello right now. Like, some people just go Jellor right now. Yeah. Yeah. All the way to New Year's Day. It becomes floating zombies.

You know, for me, like, I hope that the year ends December, like, 10th or 11. I have two weeks with the baby. Then I do a little comedy. Then I have New Year's with Joe. Then it's a baby's birthday. and then I'm back out there again, fucking touring January 22nd, you know. Yeah. So have a little time to spend with the baby's going to be four.

How was your weekend, Lee? I had a great weekend. It was, you know what I mean? I really mean to a lot. For the past few years, I don't even know how many years in a row I've been invited to your house. And it means the world and it's crazy how, like how much things have changed in the past four years. But that was great. I got to go to Paul's mom's house.

You ain't like nine Thanksgiving. Oh, my God. I had three Thanksgiving. So I went to you, Paul's, my God. mom and then I made the I just for all just for all the original OG church people I made a turkey this year I I had turkey we matched potatoes green beans we had the leftover mac and cheese from your thanksgiving was it perfect oh I'm a three-day-old mac and cheese that shit is glamigated and shit that's my favorite right that thick mac and cheese oh I love it she gets

to the Costco the big noodles with the milk and the cream yeah you know what I'm too old for that shit yeah but she don't burn it yeah I like my shit crispy and burnt On the son, I go, at least she's not going to burn it. She didn't burn it, so I didn't eat them. I said something to her. You know what? You don't cook for me. She's like, I try, but you know, not everybody likes it.

Take half piece out and burning for me. I like my fucking cheese burnt. What the fuck is wrong with people? God, I'm a mac and cheese freak, man. I don't like that shit in a box. I know that. I go that. Because it's just growing up, you know?

You know, it's growing up, but it's at a point of my life. You can't dope it up no more. Yeah. Like, for a year or two, you put ketchup on it. Yeah, yeah. Then you put hot sauce on. I have you put ketchup on... Listen, you gotta dope that shit up.

When you're a kid, you gotta dope up. You think you're all gourmet chef. I'd go paste piccani in there, you know, like paste a salsa. I'll tell you what, a fucking big kid, Marco, my buddy, my training partner at Jiu-Jitsu. I love this kid. He's a young kid. He brought me to Mollies. Yeah.

And I just brought him home for granted and put him in the refrigerator. And I told my wife and they'd say, take those motherfuckers out. Oh my God. He gave me a red one. You know, he gave me red ones. Yeah. cheese and green chili and the one that I came home

and I doped that motherfucker up I took some pace out with a little Mexican cheese blend she had in there for something else that night we came back from Irvine if he came out to the show thank you very much it was sold out half the room didn't know what the fuck I was saying the other half

was jumping up and down it was the weirdest situation I've ever been that two years in a row it's like going to a gig and half the room dies they don't know what the fuck you're talking about But the other people, the church people, they're like, ah, people are sitting down and going, what the fuck's going on here?

They're like, this isn't Thanksgiving. But it took two hours and 45 minutes to drogue down there, and me and Lee got fucked up in that car. Wow. One time we went to San Diego, and I got to tell you guys the truth. Like by Irvine, I was falling apart of the scene. I was so high, the lights were hitting my.

eyes they were fucking really sensitive I almost totally were gonna turn around but we got pull over for an hour too I couldn't and we made it to San Diego that's the night we went to the casino we got stuck on the mountain yeah we like I thought you were pissed off because like we stopped not to get gas by like the side of the road and he just went out I thought he was checking for like a flat tire he was just looking I guess you were just catching your breath or something yeah my god I got it off walk it off you know that way I walked off and I thought I saw like an animal and I ran back to the car.

It was one of those nights where you're seeing animals and shit. I'm like, Jesus Christ. But this time we were sizzled. We got there. And it was like we got there to perform. Yeah. Like there was no 30 minutes of talking. We got there 748 or something.

Yeah. Show starts out. Lee went up, Steve Simone, I went up. And we went to back. We were so stoned. We had to talk it out. Yeah. And then we finally left.

And by the time we got, we went to Yum Yum donuts. Yeah. And I still got home from the edibles. I was fucking gone. And I went to Jiu-Jitsu that day. Wow. When I go to J-Jit-Too, I usually have milkshakes in the morning, so I only have two meals that day.

So my body really needs a third fucking meal all the time. I try to cheat myself and what I'm not going to eat. And some nights I do great. Yeah. Some nights I just have another protein shake or a half a protein shake. This night, that went deep. Yeah. We went to yum yum as the donuts are coming right out of the oven.

Me and Lee walked in there. It was like we were hypnotized. Like I thought about it the next morning, like what had happened. Yeah. Like me and Simone just got. contact high because we let two bats on the way down and one more which is not normal for you no never done i don't think we ever did that no we just said fuck it we're gonna be in traffic yeah you know traffic is how you look at it yep you know i'm saying like traffic i don't ever want to sit in traffic

but if i do i have to change my attitude and i got to be prepared especially i late traffic you know san diego at two in the afternoon that's six hours that's four fucking hours it's crazy It's crazy and you sit there going, I can't believe I'm sitting in this, but I made this commitment and I got to do this, but at least you got to see these. You brought two or three extra waters. Yeah.

You know that by XM Radio. XM Radio. After Irvine is a fucking Dairy Queen. Yeah. And you could always pull over there and take a little piss and it's like a little treat for you. You get a little fucking small, Fudd Sunday or something to keep you alive to San Diego, you know?

Yeah. When did you start driving like that, though? Because when you told me I was going up, I was trying, what I was trying to do the back I wasn't texting I was trying to like think about what I was gonna say if I was gonna say a joke and I started like no one drives like you like at all like on that drive down to San Diego first of all the windows were down the entire way it's like 30 degrees listen if you spark a joint a car yeah oh no I'm not and you get pulled over yeah

they're gonna smell it totally okay if you smoke a joint with two windows down believe it or not that shit gets stuck in that back window you ever go to your back We ever smoked dope in your car, cigarettes, and you look at the back of your window, and it's a foul. Even when I was smoking the E-Pens, I would go, oh, my God, that shit sticks in the air. When I smoke reefer in the car,

if I have to smoke reefer in the car, the sunroof is open, and all four windows is open. Blowed out of that. And I'm doing 70, and it's just blowing out of there. And then I got Fabriz, and I got the fucking lemon scent in the middle.

You're not going to catch me. You might say, where is it? Number two, I don't have a lot of weed, car yeah had two joints on me three joints on me you know what I'm saying the edibles we'll just eat them yeah yeah yeah that's a good thing about this isn't like it's not like having a pound of blow you can't do it by the time the cop gets here me and Lee could put away 20 fucking stars by the time the cop gets to the car he's like what's this what it's a spirit dog that's a that's a label you got

nothing on us the only thing they can do is give us a blood test then we blow that up yeah you know you eat 20 of these fucking stars it's all gelatin yeah all you're gonna give that fucking thing his needle's gonna get clogged over that shitty police station the needles gonna get clogged yeah take it to a house what the fuck have you been eating yeah right straight gummy it was great uh you know it's crazy for years i never looked at i looked at thanksgiven it's just a day to get high and go to somebody's house and eat yeah and like the last 10 i've really thought about what the fuck it really is and there's always some asshole in the room that says yeah it's bullshit today's a day when white people killed in the you

Listen, just shut the fuck out. You're missing the whole fucking point. Right away, there's got to be a movie star. Yeah. That's got, I'm boycotting Thanksgiving because the Cherokee Nation got, listen, whatever happened, you weren't there. All right? You weren't fucking there.

Yeah. Can't you just shut the fuck it up? Eat the turkey and suck somebody's dick and move on with your goddamn life. Right away there, and then they have three followers. She's right. Yeah. I'm going to boycott me and my children. They're going to boycott things.

Just look at it for what it is. Yeah. It's a get-together. It's two days off. You don't need no money. There's always somebody that says, hey, man, what are you fucking crazy? Come on over here. Yeah.

Even the Laugh Factory sent food over to the store. Yeah. I didn't eat it, but it looked fucking good. The turkey looked fucking good. Yeah, I've been feeding the homeless for eight years there. Are you serious? Even before your comedy career? Yeah, well, seven years of comedy starting next December 6 is seven years.

But the year before that, Jay Davis, was serving there and he said hey why don't you come down with me and my mom and and that's when i was kind of like you know starting to hang out into the comedy community so the year before i started comedy i served uh i remember waters i was doing waters that year and each year i moved up oh now i'm on the buns now i'm on the gravy you know now i'm on the stuffing the stuffing's the hardest because your arm after like eight hours of scoop and stuffing your arm just becomes fucking done you know you don't even thinking about it and then you walk out of there you go my arm doesn't fucking work at all you know it's so weird like when I was a kid I never thought of volunteering

like I donated to the heart association I did the walk atons I did the walk at tons legit for like three years and the last two years I just robbed them I never turned in my paper yeah right I just took every nickel yeah it was like 80 bucks or something fucking quarters who gets a fuck you know about like a BMX frame yeah yeah what's up Lee you gonna say so no I was gonna agree with you because like my parents always gave to charity but I don't really remember volunteering I'm sure we did a couple times but there's people who yeah do that all like with their families like Paul used to do it in Skid Row I was like wow I like that's something I was never involved in I uh never volunteered

until I moved to Boulder and got in trouble. Yeah. And then from 88 to probably 90, I volunteered in different because I had community service. But I got to be honest with you. I must have had 20 hours of community service. And once I did them, I still went to a place. I forget what the fuck it was.

It was a warehouse. I went there once a week. I enjoyed carrying boxes and shit like that. And I did it because I wanted to do it. Yeah, I'm saying. Then I got arrested again, and I did volunteer work at the AIDS place, and then I would volunteer at the pool with kids. Even after I got locked up, the lady Jane knew me, so she would make me go down. I always volunteered my time like that.

In today's world, I got a problem with writing a check to a fucking charity. Oh, yeah. I got a big problem. I don't want somebody, you know, the three presidents, it's nonprofit, but three people have expense accounts and shit like that. Yeah. I don't understand that. Private jets and Cadillacs. I got to be strictly honest with you, no offense taken.

I went to the Laugh Factory one year. Yeah. I walked in. I did something for 10 minutes. I stopped. I walked back to my car and I never went back. Yeah. I felt that half the people that were there were there for the wrong reasons.

Right. I just felt it. Yeah. I felt it that. It's Hollywood. Nobody does anything because they want it. Right, right. There's always a by the way.

Yeah. I was getting there, and I was getting there. I'll never forget that ABC was going to go there in 10 minutes, and you should have seen people. Oh, fuck. Some people were pushing each other. Let me give turkey juice. Yeah, yeah.

And right there, I said, you know what? Yeah. This is not the place to do this stuff. I go for the whole day. Oh, my God. Yeah. And you do the comedy and everything? Yeah, I do the comedy.

Felipe does the comedy, right? Yeah, yeah. And Frazier Smith and let's see, who else? Deng Cook for years. Yeah, Paul Rodriguez. Was he there all day this year? Did you go this year? Yeah, it was there this year, yeah.

And let's see, who else over the years, you know, Tom Driesen, all, you know. The year I was there. The year I was there, there was a lot of people that belonged there. Yep. And there was a lot of people that didn't belong there that were doing it. And I'm like, what do I expect? Yeah. Look where I am.

Yeah, yeah. It's like when I was trying to get clean, you know, in 85, Five, a friend of mine took me to a meeting, a teacher in high school. I never was exposed to the court never made me go to it. For two or three months, I went to meetings with him just to laugh. Yeah. Just to laugh. Yeah.

I would sit there until he went off at the end and he would go off, you know? Yeah. Because him and his friends were old school guys and these new kids were coming with their stories. Yeah. And he would just destroy him, the way he would destroy people in class, you know. and I knew what it meant. And even before I moved out to Colorado in 85 a few times, I went to a few meetings because I was cleaning from Coke for five.

I stayed clean off Coke for a year and all that bullshit. But have you ever been to a A meeting in Hollywood? No. Oh, boy. Yeah, I can imagine. You know? Oh, boy. I remember when I first moved here, people were going to meet chicks.

They're like, it's a great place to meet chicks. Boy, you have no idea what these fucking idiots do here. And it's very sad because I actually believe in it. Like coming out of prison, I went through a few meetings. And even though even Boulder was a little... Somebody said to me, don't go to meetings in Boulder. Go to meetings in Arvada and other inner towns from Denver. And I did go to those.

And I understood. I understood what, you know, real people. When you went to the ones in Boulder, oh, my God. Yeah. You know, first off, I want to start the meeting this chick. I'll never forget this. I can live to be 100. Yeah.

And never, ever forget this. Now, at this time, I actually believed in the system. I actually believed the system was working. Yeah. Because for a long time, I went to N.A. But I was smoking dope. Yeah, yeah. I did it because I was in the halfway house.

Yeah, yeah. And I would smoke specifically to go to those fucking meetings to tolerate those meetings from now. Yeah. The, I think the court or the halfway house made me go to an AA. And then one day I raised my hand like I'm not a drinker and they go well why are you here and I go because the court they go no no you got to come back on Sunday and go to and I'll never ever forget this It was like this white room big There'd be 30 people in the room. I sat down. I didn't have a book Yeah, I didn't have a notebook and I hate to tell this story because they're gonna sound fucked up to a lot of women who listen to the show

This woman was there that was tipping the scales At a mere 280, maybe 290. Yeah. Her feet, she had work boots on. She was so fucking big, you know. I don't know if she was a lesbian. I don't think she was. She was just a foul woman, man.

And you might look at me and go, Joe, you're a foul man. Well, I understand. Now, think of me as a woman. She was a foul fucking woman with glasses on. I will never forget this. And they said, you know, welcome, to the weekly ENA meetings. Does anybody want to speak first?

And she raised her hand and she goes, first off, I just want to talk about the sexual predators in the room. By the way, I'm like, what? You know, I'm a 30, 28? I don't even know, I'm young. I'm a young kid, 27 maybe,

and I had never, you know, I had gone to meetings two years earlier or whatever. And in fact, the meetings I went, and again, I don't want to sound bad, the meetings I went to in Jersey, Jersey? They're like two women out of 40 people. These poor two women, you could you could tell these sober men were staring them down. Like in those days, you couldn't go to a meeting if you were a woman. Like it was just insane. It was in Creskill, New Jersey and DuBont. Right. And those parts, those meetings with two girls compared to 40 guys. And, you know, if one of them was young, the guys would be eyeballing them and shit did that. Listen, Dice is for a special. He has a joke about a chick. Because when I go to a club, I don't look for the hottest chick. I look for the chick that's laying against the wall, neatly combed gotee.

This is her. Yeah, yeah. I'll never forget. She's holding up the wall, you know? Yeah. I went up to when I told I had fudge and all this shit. Yeah, that was funge. Yeah, yeah.

I got fudge and all this shit. This chick was like eaten as she was telling the story. She goes, for starters, I just want to say that to the sexual predators in the room. at the end of the meetings when we hug each other, please stop feeling me up. I thought this was a fucking joke. I didn't know what this was. Like, who the fuck is feeling you up?

Yeah. And some people reacted to her in the room and others were like, what the fuck she's talking about? Yeah. Nobody's ever thought of feeling her up, you know? And she's like, last three meetings, people have felt me up, and I've been solicited, and I've been giving phone number.

No, you haven't. Yeah. Nobody's ever giving your phone number. Except the suicide hotline. Nobody's ever giving you a fucking phone number. That's a good one. Write that one down, Leacock Suck. No, because there's a lot of people posting suicide hotline on Facebook.

Repost this, please. Yeah, yeah, if you're feeling down. It is the time of the year. It's a rough fucking time of the year for a lot of people. I'll tell you, you know, when I go to feed the homeless at the laugh at the Laugh Factory. The first year I was, you know, there, I was handing out the waters and, you know, it just, I'd never done anything like that. And what really fucking knocked me out that pulled on my heartstrings was old women that come in. Old women, man. It, you know, and they're dressed up,

you know, like, you know, they look good, like they, they're proud, you know, even though they're homeless, And I'm just like, man, there's nothing worse than old homeless women, man. That just sucks. You know what I mean? It's just like, wow, I feel terrible, you know? And they're so nice. Old homeless kids would be out there fucking homeless. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really crazy when you think it's just getting old. Yeah, totally. It's a big fear of mine, you know. When you're 65, you can't go. Yeah. Just go get a painting job. If things are rough or nobody's really looking, you can't do manual label.

All you can do is check security tax. My mom's working retail right now. You know what I mean? Just because the retirement is just not covering. And she's like, you know, almost 70, working with like young people that don't work, you know. But when I see these women, I think about like, they're not crazy or anything. Just one wrong thing happened. Like maybe their retirement got stolen from the company they worked for.

And then they lost their house all of a sudden and they don't have family and boom, they're gone. They're gone. It's just gone and there's no way to get back, you know? It's just too much money to do anything. You know, it's really wild when you pass all the shit and get through those people if they're not drinking. Like once you see somebody on a deal, let's say you're in New York City. Totally. And every day you walk through what used to be Hell's Kitchen and you see somebody on the corner that's not an alcoholic.

Yeah. They're not doing drugs. They just caught a couple bad breaks. They sleep at their shelter. But they're out there trying to put it together, believe it or not. If you go talk to them, he'll tell you. If you come here at 12, I'm usually at the place trying to get a job painting for four bucks an hour. They'll tell you a story.

And when they tell you a story in that manner that they're not high or drunk, it really does something to you for a couple days. First off, you realize how lucky you are. But you also realize how fast it could happen. Totally. I fucking think about my past every day at some point of the day. I think about living in that rocket ship or sleeping on the couches. Or just sleeping at a bus station, my first couple tours in comedy where, you know, there's no bus for six hours, Jack. And you ain't got no money to sleep at the hotel six.

Nope. You got to get your duffel bag, get your jacket, put it up, put your wallet in your front pocket. Yeah, yeah. And take a little fucking nap there, you know. Sleep with one eye open. You know, it's funny, at the Houston Comedy Festival, I saw Slade Ham, and he goes, I remember driving you when you first got diagnosed with the sleep at me. Yeah. And you'd be just talking to me, and you'd fall on me, and I'd have to push you off on the way of Houston from Beaumont and shit.

Wow. Yeah, because I had that sleep deprivation. You just fall asleep right away? Oh, my God, as soon as I got in the car. Oh, yeah. That kind of chair would put me out. I told you, one time I fell asleep on a plane before it took off. and they asked me to get off the plane

because I was snoring so loud from the sleep apnea. Wow. People thought I was going to die and shit. They woke me up and said, you got to get out and get checked out. You can't fly on this fucking plane. Wow. You just made a noise like an animal.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I heard that, yeah. That sucking for wind when you have a sleep apnea, you have no idea to you. My wife taped it. Yeah. Gavin Boyd, my friend, taped it one day. And he goes, this is what you sound like at night.

It was wow wowly and that shit is no good for you. No, fuck down. Like every time you suck for air and stuff, something happens in your brain. Yeah, you're cutting oxygen off. It's a horrible situation. You know, I try to really work on rest of people. That's the most important thing because I wake up in the middle of night, you know. Yeah.

Like if I go to bed early, I just wake up after six, seven hours, I wake up. That's me too. I wake up and I stay up and now I'm smart enough. Since 83, I caught it. There's some nights when I roll back and forth, but if I can, after 30, I just get up. That's it. This is not going to work.

I get the notebook. Start writing, put on a TV show, put the Walkman on, the fucking earphones. And at one point, you go, fuck, I'm tired. Now you're ready. That happens to me every day. Every day. And I fight it.

So you get up. Okay. I'll have to start doing it. I got to get up because I got to pee. And then you lay down and you're like, Fuck, I gotta download that podcast. Yeah. If you're anybody, if you have a heartbeat, it's so weird when you wake up in the middle

of the night when you're pissing or just drinking water, the first thing you think about is what's on your plate. And then you lay down and you're like, why is this lingering in my fucking mind now? Goddill it. Yeah. And now you're angry. Once you get angry, you lost a battle. Yeah.

Just get up. Get up, take the sleep at your mask off and go to the office, open up the thing. I fucking smoke a little bit I drink some water I refuel the body I take a shot of CBD on Yeah Then I go outside

I take two three hits of the pipe I come back in The other day Pulled out the art of war By not Sun Tzu Though With the War of Art Oh yeah

By uh Stephen Brian I read that couple chapters Two weeks ago I had it And I just started reading books In the middle night No comedy no nothing

What are gonna try to write a joke for Books are the best Books are the best You have the I'm coming out, books of the best sleeping pill. You take two, three hits off a fucking joint. You cross-eyed, Jack. I don't give a fuck what story they did.

In medical school. If it knocks me down, it'll fucking kill you with no sleeping pills. It'll fucking kill you. Yep. I'm reading the Bruce Springsteen book right now. And it's, you know, like, it takes me a long time to read books because I get going and then I just fall asleep. But it's great because as my week goes by,

I go, oh, yeah, fucking, I remember what I'm reading, you know what I mean? Like, oh, that part, where I used to try to just sit down and read the whole fucking... That's what I'm into... Yeah. I like to put away three days, which I don't have no more. Yeah. You look at a book and book, and first of all, I'm not a second book, and read it. Yeah.

It drives me crazy. I want to read the book first, all right? Yeah, yeah. I want to be a fucking life. I want to read a Jeremy book, I'll let you know. I don't need no use book. Oh, yeah, I'm one of those fucking animals. And when I get it, I want to read and get it over it.

Yeah. So I would fucking just... This book tells you about the early days in Jersey and all that. Oh, God, yeah, from day one. The bar scene and whatever is right. It's so incredible, man, because I've read a ton of rock stars' books, and the front part's always slow. You just want to get to the drugs, you know.

But this one really sets up who he is, growing up in Jersey, you know, poor and, and, seeing the Beatles on Ed Sullivan and then Elvis, Elvis was the one that lit him up. And growing up during the, you know, segregated neighborhoods and playing music as the greasers against the sociers like on outsiders, the movie, you know. And you're really, right now I'm just in it. Like, I can feel where this guy's from, you know, and how his songwriting is, his way he writes a book too it grabs you it's really you know he really lays it out

you know like I get this fucking car and this girl you know and you're in like yeah yeah yeah you know the first guitar is a piece of shit you know so it's great you know it's so interesting how Jersey is music wise yeah Eddie brawles a nut

you know I love Eddie he's a fucking nut and our music taste very completely different. I'm just a few years older than him, but he doesn't like a classic rock. Right, that's weird. He likes Kiss.

Oh, yeah, yeah, Kiss. And then he references everything after 1994. So it's, I don't know, it's just really weird. So I got a call from him one night, all excited because he watches those Netflix documentaries all fucking night long. He'll smoke weed and watch those things and take notes and then call you and give you step by step. And he calls me one day with possibly.

I'm embarrassed to tell the truth about this part of my life. When I was growing up, there was no indie labels. I didn't know what that was. You know, I was introduced to, you know, Leonard Skinner and Black Sabbath all around the same time, you know, and Led Zeppelin came, even though I didn't believe in long hair and all this shit. I didn't know. And all of some, you know, were kids of the 80s, like,

Errol Smith and Def Leppard and all this shit. And I didn't know I was supposed to do all these things as a rock guy But one thing I fucking hated That you're gonna be mad at me for Not mad at me, but if you know anything about me It's been all my life Is when I go see a band I want to go see a band

Yeah Which means I don't want to fuck around with dilly dally So I was never a seven-day guy at the soap factory digging on bands Yeah I was never one of those guys if it was a good band and I heard about it for a few years I'd fucking bite the bullet and go down there and nine on a nine have a great time yeah

but I'm not a fucking I'm not just gonna go to the Viper room I just don't that's never been who I am right I'm saying but I never went into comedy either yeah so I don't want you to think well Joey you were just a come no I never saw I saw stand-up comedy one time before I went on stage the other shit I saw was Dave Chappelle guy at Central Park, at Washington Square Park, which wasn't,

but I had never seen organized stand-up comedy. I was at the snorting coke and going to bars. Yeah, okay, and talking shit and drinking white fucking vodka and arras juices. That's some blue-collar shit.

Yeah, there's an incher. Beside that, I didn't want to drive and get in a fucking car and have to deal with crowds and 8-50 a drink. The fucking, I can't talk.

I don't like talking when, yeah, there's music. I've never been one of those people. Yeah. I never went, I could put, I could, put on i could probably went to seven discos yeah as many rock clubs as i went to hole in the

wall the soap factory i went to one in like statin island one time to see a band and then the rest one manhattan yeah like different places venues in manhattan but one band i went to see dean delray that just like there's a couple bands that i just there's bands i could tolerate i can't fucking stand looking at sting yeah I had to buy those two police albums synchronicity yeah because that's who I am I'm a fan of music but when I hate you I fucking hate you I if you watch a documentary that we're about to talk about yeah when I was growing up I heard about these guys all the time but I was so like what at that age if you talked to me about Springsteen I look at you and go get

the fuck out of yeah the crew I ran with didn't even like Springsteen I hated Springsteen. I hated everything about all that shit. It was born in the USA. It was like, oh. This is horrible. And I like 10th Avenue Freezer. The whole time I was a time, I was, I am a born to run that album first. I couldn't stand it, you know, until like 96.

The river is good. The river's good. Got a couple good songs. I'm all about darkness. And the first, now I love the first two records and then born to run and darkness, you know. But growing up, I was like, brute, that's my mom's, rock i don't want to hear that shit i'm ac dc you know what i mean so edie bravo goes you gotta watch a twist

sister documentary i'm like eddie are you fucking kidding me i if there's anybody i hated more than cheap trick ha ha you hate cheap trick oh with all my heart and i did buy one of their arms yeah heaven tonight oh yeah great record that's a great record i just could not watch them i could not watch the guitar player and i could not watch the and somebody a friend of mine yeah asked me do you want me to meet the guitar playing from cheap trickling i was like i can't believe you're asking me that i never liked that fucking dude growing up god i love that band dream police no no no no they got a song on that record called gonna raise hell it is so fucking evil no no no i love it i'm a heaven tonight man don't even talk to me at buddiccan oh killer live at buddiccan sold like yeah oh because i don't

know how many millions yep they don't even make those live albums no one nobody makes live out. Double live gonzo with Nuge and then you have Live at Budacan, Cheap Trick and then you got... Unleased in the East and the Swain Main is the same. And Peter Frampton. Oh, yeah. Frampton comes a lot. That's it.

Those are the live records that were at every fucking party. Every party. And they were the soundtracks of fucking... And all those records saved each one of those bands. Because every time you read about them, you're like, oh yeah, you know, they put out two, three records. They didn't do shit.

The label's about to drop them. They go, we'll let you do a live record. It won't cost us nothing. And boom, they fucking blow up from the live record. Can you put on the Ripper? Oh, from... Unleashed in the East. Unleashed in the East.

I heard this the other night on the 101 when I was coming home. Yeah. I almost took the car off the fucking... What was it on? Boneyard? Just X-Ewen Yard? Yeah. I only have accepted.

Me too. It came with the car. I fucking love it. My wife said you get... Listen to this. Pick a leaf. I'm in for a shot up. London town streets

when there's darkness and far when you least expect me and you turn your back when I'm sticking at the shadows on the wall I love it I laugh when I'm creeping but you won't see me alone

Oh hear my warning Never turn your back On the river Right here, I like this part Go soon shake the fear I never know me if I'm here I'm stunted Trey

Let me tell you something, bro So great That is right there, guys That's a we grew up on Who, man First time I heard that was Freshman Year's study hall Yeah

Steve Roney Who ended up moving in with his family Two years later said, have you ever heard that? And the next day he brought that cassette in. Oh, man. And I heard that. There's like two or three.

The sinner. The sinner is tremendous. And then diamonds and rust. Diamonds and rust into fucking victim of changes. And listen, at that age, I knew there was something wrong with the singer. I knew he'd be the pitch two ways. Yeah, yeah. I knew there ought to be it, by the way.

I grew up in San Fran. But the music was so great. Yeah. The music was so great. It didn't fucking bother me at all. I didn't care at all. But back to Twister sister, guys. Yeah.

I hated makeup. I hated everything they stood for. And for maybe two years, there was a group of kids from my neighborhood, North Bergen, that two nights a week, they'd be like talking to you about Twister's sister. And you'd be like, dog. Yeah. You'd be all coaked up, so you couldn't really talk. But you took the ear beating because they just gave you two bumps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. Dispected. Oh, my God. You got to see them under the blade, dude. Fucking tremendous. I'll get your tickets. Yeah. And finally, on a Friday night

of something, me and my buddy James went to the soap factory and what we witnessed in the first two minutes made us run out that fucking thing. We went to priest and bless that. Went to a little bit more serious stuff. It was funny in the movie

they're doing a Sabbath cover, you know, and he's killing it. Remember that? And they're doing a priest cover too. I mean, that's what I meant. It's a priest cover. A priest cover. I was saying Sabbath. I'm like, did that? What did I miss? You know, so it's just, if you have not seen the Twist Assisted documentary.

Oh, man. And the funny thing is, man, that you really get motivated after you watch it. It's unbelievable, right? Like it cleared my mind. I'm like, I understand what everybody has to go through. Yeah. It's so weird when people quit. Cheryl Crowe has that line on the second album.

Yeah. Why quit before the miracle happens? I forget what the fuck it is. And the third album, whatever the fuck it is, the woman she was dating, Eric Clapton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What album is that? That's the second record.

Wow. Oh, no, no. Oh, that's a great one. Oh, that's a good song. Yeah, what is that? Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that's a killer record.

Cheryl Crowe. Yeah. It's like a. black and white video. Oh, it's good. Is it just Cheryl Crowe? I'm just looking for that. Yeah, and then I'll know the name when I see it.

The perfect mistake. Yeah, that's it. God damn. Listen to this, Lee. That's a great song, man. Shit, this is a great fucking out. It really is. She's got five jams on this show.

A pro. Second record. Third. Third? Third. The second wasn't that big. The second one was, God of shame.

My favorite mistake. My favorite mistake. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah. To do you good. I got a change to do you good I thought this was the second record too Check it out on Google this lead this album

My favorite mistake, yeah Let's find out one This is great What's that B3 That's my boy on drums Jim Booges That's the live one That's the live one Do the studio one

Guitar player in that band's incredible This album came out In 99 Yeah Okay the first one is 95 The second one was 97. It had a really good song on there. What's the one in 97?

There's a really good song on there. If it makes you happy... Oh, yeah, yeah. It can't be that bad. It's good shit, man. Hold on. No, Cheryl Crow put out three, four good albums. For real.

Even the first ones are Fugazi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The first ones are Fugazi, guys. You people who don't know at home, I don't know the exact story, but the one guy from the band that committed suicide.

Yeah, the guitar. A guitar player. And then they threw her out of the fucking wake or the funeral. Okay, here we go. Letterman and said something that she had written the album. You find the leader? I was looking for the discography, but I found this. Okay, so there you go.

The first record is 96. Or sorry, 93. Wow. All I want to do is have some fun. Yeah. That came out in 93. Wow. And it didn't blow up until 95.

Yeah. And then the second record is 96. And, you know, that has on their... If it makes you happy. Yeah, that's what I told you. That's a big one there. Then this came out. Yeah.

And this was, she went back to her action. A dirtier... Yeah, let's see. I love this song, actually. She had that song, Steve McQueen. Remember that one? that's later. Yeah, yeah, that's 2002.

This was when she was still, she went back to her roots. Yeah. Oh, this record had the Kid Rock one, picture. I got a picture. Maybe you did it later.

It's a great song. I drove around this country with this fucking CD. Yeah, it's a great fucking song. I drove from L.A. to Houston, from Houston to Oregon. From Oregon, to fucking the Dakotas.

Back through Green Bay, back through Wisconsin, down through Michigan, back to a triple run. We ended up in Salem, Oregon. Triple run. Okay, this is 2000. Yeah.

This started in January of 2000. I came to LA and I bombed so bad in between Doug Stanhope and Nick DePaolo at the improv one night. Yeah. I said it, over. I'm disappearing until this works. This has to

work. I got to go get good. I'm a regular at two or three, so I'm on the right track, but something's not working. This was horrendous what I had done. Whether I was sticker shock or shocked or shocked at where I was, that's one thing. But these jokes were just not cutting it anymore. And I said, I really need to realign my act. Not that

I did anything. All I did was go around the country now and do blow. That's all I did. I went from city to city doing blow. But I went on this Tribble, Roger Paul, which is basically garbage. Yeah.

You know, whatever he tells you, expect to get $100 less. Yeah. You know, expect to get $100 less. Shady rights. Yeah, if he tells you a hotel,

expect to get charged somewhere. Yeah. But, you know what? If you want to get good, this is part of the action. You know what you do, you get a car, low mileage, no cost.

You know, you can't be making a monthly payment. No. All your bills are paid. In those days, they used to have child support, if that. Yeah. And that was it.

I went on the fucking road. And I went in this car with a girl all through that back all the way up to Salem, Oregon, back to L.A. for two days to El Paso, Texas, to fucking Miami for two weeks. Wow. Driving? Driving? Wow, Miami. All the way to Miami.

All the way, yeah. That's what I'm doing right now, dude. I'm just hitting New York and fucking, you know, and going for it. You know, five shows at night. Just like figuring it out. You know, man, I do not have the energy ahead 10 years ago. Right. You know, when I go out to do comedy and I do well, I get emotional.

You know, and then that means I come home and what goes up must come down. Yeah. And some nights it takes fucking three hours. Some nights it takes an hour. If I train that day, maybe, you know, something goes a little awry or something. but it's so we, I couldn't do seven nights a week, obviously. Seven nights a week, three sets of nights and time, starting in the Mexican hoods. Yeah, yeah.

Jeff Garcia, Felipe, Willie Barsena, you know, Edwin San Juan in those days, George Perez. My night started there. Yeah. My night always started under 10. I ain't complainingly. I get there nice and stone, get some Mexican food, go up on stage, get some more Mexican food. Yeah, yeah. Come back and then you're not at the comedy store.

You had a 12, 15 spot, which meant two. Yep. Which means I'll be walking to Pink Dot with my man, fucking Dean Delray, at two for a sandwich. You call it a two for a sandwich. I'm always walking out there. The next thing, you know, you're up, you're down, you don't call home, you don't fall asleep until 4.30. And you have no audition the next day or whatever.

You're walking around wounded. I did that already. Yeah, I hear it. My skin color turned fucking green. Yeah. You know, it was interesting to see Twist's sister schedule. Like, I knew all those places. I had heard the ads and their rise.

Guys, if you get a minute, you know, Lee and I always talk about something. We talk about big major marketing. And we talk about good, old American marketing. You have to see what these guys did. It's crazy. They were genius. What they did to stick out. How they turned it into a business.

When the guy came in and said, I went into one of the green rooms on that. I never saw that much money on the fucking table. Yeah, he's getting ready to sign him. He's like, I don't think I can afford this band. I can't afford this band. And then the band showed their cards. They go, hey, you're going to sign us? We're cheap.

And he's like, oh, I got him. $10,000 a night they were making. Unbelievable. You know, and the door, just in bars on Long Island, Jersey, selling 3,000 tickets. It's insane. They're doing civic centers with no record deal and shit. And, you know, that band Zebra. member tell me what you want they're opening for them with a record deal they're the

openers you know what was really crazy and I say it over and over and over on my podcast is if you can figure out and like there's comics that do like Madison Square Garden and stuff you know there's something in a in a band or a comic that somehow catch is fire you know what I mean because it's like these guys are doing 3,000 seats with no record and no song on the radio you know later they pull the scam where they're doing the commercials with their own song brilliant this is what I'm saying yeah for you people that are in a band if you're involved in a band you're young you want to see marketing without fucking Twitter Twitter yeah how I told Lee about

Smith. You know, in 75, nobody knew. They were on tour. I'm sorry, Erasmith was a national band, but all the periodicals that were coming out, cream and stuff, were talking about their drug problem and drug abuses that they might not get back together. I still remember being a kid going then I'm going to get back together. That's amazing after seasons of weather. And then something else came out. Yeah, the night in the reds. No, no, no. This is rocks. I'm talking about before Rocks, the rumor was heavy dude that they were done. Yeah. And all of a sudden, I don't know where.

Dream on. Oh, yeah. They haven't knew out. No, was Dreamon, the second album. Then I think it's Toys in the Attic, and then Rocks, if I'm not wrong. You can look it up in your discography there. I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but before Rocks, it had to be 75, 76.

I wasn't getting high then. I think I was just starting to smoke pot, and a friend of mine turned me on, to get your wings. Ah, killer. Which is a very fucking good album with a live track. Yep. And they mixed it in with a studio, which was brilliant, right?

Rocks was their fourth album, Lee? Yes, sir. Yeah, so it's after Toys in the Attic, the rumor was they were done. Right. Done. I remember being a kid young, not old enough to give a fuck. It wasn't like my world. I was into basketball and trying to suck a tit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was at that age. Yeah. But I remember the kids, the older kids, the Keltoes, and people who listen to that music was St. Errol Smith's done. They're their history. Led Zeppelin, fucking,

they're the Kings, it's over. And all of a sudden, bam, they come out with rocks. And it's not just that album. Yeah. It's a fucking masterpiece. You know, and years later in the book, they revealed that they were just doing heroin

and taping whatever the fuck. It's just crazy, right? Just at the lowest. When you were out there, do you remember the twist of the sister era? Well, here's the thing, man. Like, Twisted Cesar era. sister was, and they even say it in the movie, they were straight East Coast, didn't even

know they were. No, no, no, no, okay. And I remember the first time I went to the East Coast, I went to New York, and we went out to Brooklyn to see some bands. We had a night off. And it's just like they said in the movie, the East Coast were playing covers. West Coast, bands didn't play covers. They only played originals to get a record deal. Where the East Coast, they were playing as jobs. You know what I mean? This is our job. We play five sets a night. We do it every night. We do covers and we sprinkle in one original each set.

So when we went to go see a band on the East Coast, we're like, this place is packed, but they're just playing like Death Leopard, you know? Like they're playing Judas Priest and Depp Lepp. And we're like, what's going on? When I was growing up, that's who I went to see. I'm happy you brought that up because I don't want people to think. I went to see a band called Sticky Finger. Yeah.

The guy looked like Meg Jagger as much as I look like Mick Jagger. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It was one of the other. I had a friend that his name was Vinnie Lynch. Yeah. This guy really looked like Mick Jagger.

I rested so good dude. We all got buddies like that, right? The Jagger, with the big lips in it. Big lips, the face. He was just bigger. He was in the Navy. And they got mad chicks. Yeah.

This guy, Benny Lynch was a bad motherfucker. Like I said, I already died two, three years ago. But he took me to see the Some Girls Tour. Yeah. He just laid it on me. You want to come take the ride with Philly if your mom let you. Yeah. There's room in my car.

78, man. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? He drove me down. Then one of his buddies, I'm still friends with him on Facebook. He asked if I wanted to do Window Paint Ascent. Yeah. Fariner was on stage. Oh.

It was just crazy, but what the fuck we told him about? We're just talking about all bands. He took me to see. Sticky fingers. I went to see Sticky fingers, and then there was somebody else that was doing the doors. Yeah. And they were just God awful. Yeah.

They were just an insult to me. You know, at that time, I liked the LA women, and I liked the whatever album. Whatever album that's on. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I liked American Prayer. Yeah, that's great one, right? The live one with the poetry you did and all that shit.

It's a cool album for the time and stuff, which I can't find. Yeah. I love to find it and just do a review on it. You know what? You see it on the road? Yeah, yeah, I'll get it for you. Okay, I haven't seen it on the road. It's got to be 30 bucks.

Yeah, it's killer that. It's got the notes inside, the whole fucking paintings and the whole fucking thing. You're like, what the fuck was Jim Morrison? I love that one. It's like Indians on the highway or whatever. It's a boom, boom, boom, but boom, boom, and then it comes in Indians on the highway. You know, it's like so cool. It's got a vibe.

They played it on that movie, the Doris movie. That's a great one. You know, it was those guys, and I felt it was a fucking insult. Yeah. At that age, I had seen. You know, I was going into the city more to see bands. I was going to see, I was going to the garden and palladium. I went to CBGBs maybe twice.

I can't lie to nobody, maybe once, I don't know. Yeah. I went to a hole in the wall, which was in some part of New Jersey. I saw Bon Jovi there. Wow. You know, a year after, like Bon Jovi blew up was, slippery when wet? Yep. No, no, no, run away.

Yeah. Run away. Run away. This is... A thousand Fahrenheit or something. So if you tell me what year, I could tell you when I saw Bon Jovi. Did I know they were going to be stars?

No. I had no idea. I was so... In those days, I go to a band, and after eight minutes, all I'd be thinking about was the Coke rock in my pocket. And how I was when I go back to my home bar, Joe and Marys.

Yeah, yeah. Because, God forbid, we went away from our home bar. I was always the opposite. I was got to get front row. I need to get a pick. I was one of those guys. I got to get a pick.

I was one of those. those guys too, but at the big shows, at the garden shows, the palladium shows. When I saw ACDC, I got something. Yeah. But when I go to those small shows, I didn't want to get trapped in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I had trapped somebody once at an Aerosmith show. He was on heroin.

I kept burning him with cigarettes and shit. I kept put it. There was a chick in front of him with a halter top. Yeah. And he kept falling asleep with a cigarette. And every time he'd fall asleep, I'd push him into the chick, and he'd burn her back. Hilarious. I was like me. I saw Devo once. I got so stone I ate the guy next to me his nachos.

He's like, dude, what are you doing? I was like, come on, man. I just started eating on his nachos. I was loaded, man. He was mad. Because he had him sitting on the armrest. I just started eating his nachos. He was pissed. Yeah, I had seen a lot. And I had gone to a bunch of big shows. And some of them were just bad. I didn't like the sound. Yeah. Like, I gotta tell you something. I went to one arena show. I went to see Ted Nudgeon and Errol Smith and it was just that wasn't for me.

I was too much of a fact that I wanted it to sound just like it did in the studio. Yeah. And if it didn't, you're a shitty fucking band. You know, to me, I didn't even notice, I just I knew back then it was so fucking loud. And the energy from

the bands was so insane that I didn't even hear what was going on. It was like, it was like when I, I went skydiving once. You jump out. It's like an overload. That's what concerts were like to me when I was a kid. Just like, holy shit, there they were. Because there's no internet or anything. I'd be looking at their clothes, their amps, their guitars. And I was like, oh, fuck. And then next thing you know, the two hours is gone. And I'm on the way home going like, wow. I don't even remember the sounds of them. I remember like fire. They would have fire or they'd be fucking smoke, you know, whatever. Percuss and Bob's those.

That shit that hit your chest, you know, and you go, oh, fuck. What was funny, Rudy was here the other day. We were talking about the, we spoke about the first tour. Yeah, just regular Blizzard of Oz. And then Randy died, and they came back, not October of 82 to the Midlands. Yeah, with Brad Gillis. Check that. See if Ozzy Osbourne.

Medellants. No, no, just check 82 tour. and see if October If they were at... Is it Ozzy or Black Sabbath? No, Ozzy Osbourne. Brad Gillis put that or Metalians. No, no, I just put Ozzy Osbourne

82 tour. Diary of a Madman? Yeah, that's 83, I think. Oh, there you go. But that was the tour he died on. Oh, no, no, no, 81 to 82 or... Yeah. He died April of 82.

Okay, so this was right before this, okay. Right, because Brad Gillis, he came back in October, but it was weird how they were. went from four of them to now they came back with a castle. Yeah. Remember they had a fucking castle and shit? And he was talking about the midget.

I forgot all about the fucking midget. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then the fucking keyboard player was dressed like a Reaper up in the top of the castle, just playing like the intro to like Mr. Crowley. Yeah, I forgot all that shit. And the stairs came open, you know? And they had a hand come out, like on Iron Man.

Yeah. That was crazy. That was crazy. Yeah, right? You can usually find them on there. I think it's Diary of a Man, man, man. Yeah. Okay, look and see.

November 5th of 81 started, and then it went until August 8th of 82. Does that make sense? Yeah. Check out the, they got the tour dates there. Yes, okay. So, Medilands? Did I see him at the Meadowlands? Yes, yes, I did see him at the Meadowlands.

I saw him at Oakland Coliseum on that tour. But I saw him at the palladium first. Yeah, early. And then I saw them early. And then now it's a Friday night. Ooh. Okay. It got rescheduled.

Well, that's because Randy died. And then they probably came back with Brad Gillis. And on May 23rd or 82. That's when he came back? That was the rescheduled tour date, yeah. Yeah. So they postponed dates when he's, uh, after he dies and then they get Brad and they go back out and they do that tour with him then

they do that speak of the devil Sabbath cover record I was gone by that yeah with with brad by that time I'm in bowl I'm an Aspen Colorado robin fucking comedy I was not into music I remember buying it and going oh Jesus Christ and they showed it on MTV I was done I was done by that time by that time I had had enough of that whole thing I had had a great time I had seen some great bands and then i moved to aspen and on friday night they would have bands at the i i couldn't deal with that the hippie jams like now just uh like at the hotel and people go what are you doing to nothing there's going to be a tremendous band man oh yeah playing at nine o'clock come on over we'll have some beers and you go up there they'd be packed and the band would be playing like a free bird

oh yeah and deep down inside listen you want to play fucking yellow submarines you want to play fucking uh cheap trick don't don't don't don't don't do let's get it yeah you know what i'm saying do me and do yourself to respect and i would get so aggravated that's how uptight i was about music yeah i didn't like covers i didn't either i didn't and that's why i'm sorry that's what happened and they explain it during twist sister totally that they had a bunch of cover bands and now here's this twits his sister and i can't remember names, but who it was, but a couple of my

associates that I knew from different parks were in that Twister sister thing. The thing that got me the most about Twister's sister is the one time they signed on the way back the guy dies in a heart attack. I couldn't believe it. You can't believe it. Everything's fucking... Everything. Everything. Everything goes wrong.

Every label's going to come. The guy gets... He gets a brain aneurism. A brain aneurism. It's it makes you want to quit. And the guitar player who told the story besides- He's amazing, yeah, JJ French. J.J. French, I really got to tell you guys, while he was telling you the story,

you could see the pain of all those years and his eyes. It really blew me away. It reminded me of doing this. Yeah, it's the same thing. Doing this. There's disappointment in the beginning knowing that you might have to get a day job. And people are going to ask you,

hey, man, what if happened with you being the funny guy? And now at that restaurant, you're the ex-comedian and shit. Totally. That scared the living fuck out of me. Yeah. The failure part of this scared the living fuck out of me. Even when I started just doing regular movies and doing comedy, at least I was working. I wasn't somebody.

I didn't give a fuck about that. Yeah. That's what I was saying. I was doing something with my life. That's what I said. I've already made it. People are like, man, don't you want a special and don't you want to get here? It's like, dude, I'm 50.

Just being here. Being here. Getting spots at the store. I'm in the game. I'm doing the store. Today is my four-year anniversary of being passed as a paid regular. And as I watched that fucking documentary this morning, I just realized, yeah, I've got to keep working my ass off.

You know what I mean? Because I've already made it and I want to keep doing this. You know, I want to get great. And gatekeepers, as you watch that documentary, you realize. these gatekeepers, like the head guy of Atlantic, he's like, if anybody talks about twisted sisters, they're fired. They're fired. And you're going like, well, wait a minute, they're selling out 3,000 Cedars. This is just personal with you. And I feel that kind of stuff all the time in the business, you know, like, oh, he's old. Nobody's going to want to watch that. It's like, well,

wait a minute, he's out headlining. Yeah, well, he's this. And then they go, well, wait a minute, His podcast is in the top 200. Yeah, but, you know, and after a while, they won't admit they're wrong. These gatekeepers, man, I was watching that. Weren't you watching that going like this fucking guy? Listen, here's the beauty of this stuff that I've been here. You mentioned your fourth anniversary. Yeah, and I went down to it.

I went down to the store Thanksgiving night. Yeah. I did that for a reason, you know. All my shit, my brother told me once, you know, you do everything, calculated I went down to the store because I wanted to remind myself how lucky I was totally who the fucking my dog I'd be out robin fucking grocery stores right now in the Bronx yeah you know who the fuckie you want me to lie the entire yeah dog I stuck with something for 20 years yeah February if I'm God wants I'm still here 20 fucking years I've

been a regular showcased in front of Mitchie shore never had none nothing nothing ever happened to me from the day they released me from that fucking halfway house to 98, 90, whenever the fuck she made me, 97, nothing happened in my life. It was seven years of one smack to the face to the other, from going to jail, to getting evicted, to being on the top of the list, and them giving you three minutes and walking away from you. Yeah. And you don't want, between you and I, you look at Dane Cook, you look at Ralphie Mae,

you look at Sebastian, you look at, you know, I can name 10 guys that have been around longer than me and have, they're on their fourth or fifth special. Yeah. That never bothered me. That never bothered me. Because deep down inside, I was just lucky to be in the fucking game. It's exactly what I say. I was just lucky to be in the game. From time to time you get a movie, you know what?

I don't want nobody in the whole air. Yeah. I never wanted it. This, I was very, every morning I woke up. I just want to work. Yeah, every morning I woke up and I knew who the fuck I want us. Yeah. And what my expectations were.

Every time I talk to somebody like, listen, I'm never going to bother you about being on Letterman or Leno or get me on whatever. Or if you don't get me on HBO, you're fired. I know my limitations. I just want to work. I want a little movie from time to time. Yeah. I want Level one insurance.

Yeah, exactly. No, okay. Level one insurance don't mean shit to you at home. Yeah. It means the world. to me okay me too I go to acupuncture I could get fucking go to a chiropractor once every eight weeks yeah it comes to perks bitches yeah and that's what I never wanted I'm very fortunate my specials coming on December 8 is it good is a bad I have no fucking idea yeah I wish I

could tell you what I do know is I put my heart into it for me it's a milestone it's 25 years I was in a fucking hole before that totally and here we are I go up there and I see fucking Mark Maron I see fucking the lies I'm on the show last night with Ari. Yeah. You know, I walk past and there's fucking whatever the other day. And I'm like, I guess something. I did something right.

I didn't do nothing right. I just duck with it. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I just dug with it. And when I watched that documentary by Twisted System, I'm like, this is where I got my boss from. I drank that same water.

Yeah. I don't give a fuck. Me too. They were saying it. When they said they had opportunities to work in LA and they go, for what? Yeah. To pay to play? To pay to play?

You know? You're fucking crazy. They were making bank in Jersey. They didn't give a fuck. And you know what? It really impressed me about them, man. Later, they haven't got a lot of anxiety before I go on stage. You know?

Really? Yeah, like a little bit of anxiety. It really happened at the motherfucking comedy jam, you know, singing and shit. Yeah. And it's so funny how. One thing I will tell you about Twister's sister, they pay to play. They play to fucking die. Totally.

And that's something that, You are generated, people who are around Lee's Ayyat that you'll never see. You know, Lee goes to a show and it's two guys with turntables. Yeah. Jumping up and down into the pre-recorded stuff. That's all great stuff. When five guys go out there with no shirts on and they're drenched. Yeah.

And three of them on heroin and God knows what else. And they're doing this. What were they saying? This year after year. Groundhog's day said. After year. Just five nights a week, right? That's what they were playing.

That was all they knew And in those days they were like I would hear about Twisted Like when they were talking about 82 That's when I would listen to the radio Yeah And finally when they broke down I went to see Twisted Sister

And I didn't know what the fuck to expect But that's one thing that taught me That they didn't give a fuck No They played, they went on stage To destroy that motherfucker Even if you don't like the music I was telling Joey

You have to watch this for work ethic. You love these people. Like some people like they don't understand. I've been standing on wood I tell people for 32 years. I played music

for 25, now comedy for seven. That's how I look at it. This is what I do. I've been fucking performing all my life. And I look at those guys and that's what they do, you know? And when I told you, when I hosted that Ricky Rackman's

cat house thing last month. That they ripped it up. I still cannot believe how fucking out. Powerful. I couldn't believe how. I was two feet away from Dee Snob. I got goosebumps right now. He was up there and that scene where they say,

D would just call guys out, you fucking guy with your arms crossed. Get the fuck out. And the whole arena would go, get the fuck out. He did that. At the Roxy, right to a guy. He goes, you with the fucking short hair.

because your life didn't go right. Put your fucking arms in the air. Fucking start rocking. You know, and the guy came up to me there. He was, he pointed me out, man. It was, wow, he saw me. That's because the guy is looking at everyone in the crowd.

He wants to kick ass and take names, you know? And man, he sings fucking great. Like his voice is killer still right now. You know, the guy's like 60-something, right? You know, it just showed me that. The war of art is the war of art. Yeah. That's what that documentary show.

I've always known. I'm not a fucking rethought. We have to pay for this at every level. Whether you want to be, draw pictures, make music, write comedy, be a comic, you know, be a singer, all that stuff. You got to pay for it somewhere. And to watch that know that finally somebody, the guy that threw away their picture, he saw their picture a month before. Unbelievable. The assistant gave this, Carson.

Carson gave this, we'll break it down, please, because I'll fuck it up. Okay, so there's a guy in fucking Atlantic Records in New York. He sees Twister Sister twice, and the head guy goes, nope, I don't want you to mention him again or you're fucking fired. And so then he runs into this guy, Carson, who's the head of Twisted Sister in, or head of Atlantic Records in London. And he hands in the shit. and on the plane he looks at one photo of them just throws in in the garbage right he's just like nah look at those guys look like clowns and then two weeks later they're on tv on that tube show and he's like oh shit i'm signing these guys you know what i mean that was fucking and then

the head guy goes they suck and he goes yeah they suck but we're going to sell millions of records this is a business quit being personal right that was crazy man i couldn't believe it. I can't believe you brought up the gay keep. It really sat with me, Joey, because as much as I do comedy every night, you know, and also played music, you always have three or four people that are heads of something and whatever they don't think is cool in their mind, like, I don't think this is cool. then they instead of looking at it as like well shit this guy's killing every night they're like

yeah but my friends don't think that's cool so I don't want to bring that on you know what I mean and they're the gatekeepers and then when that gatekeeper goes another person comes you know what happened you throw up every time I come Lee throws out Does the chocolate taste shitty? Because you never like it. This chocolate is good. It's espresso coffee. Yeah, how can you not like that?

First of all, this chocolate actually does taste pretty good. Second of all, it also has about 8,000 whatever milligrams of T and T. Yeah. I know, but does that taste like something? Yeah, like marijuana leaves. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh.

It's just listen. Let me tell you something, brother. Yeah. Let me tell you what I'm living through. First of all, I look at you full inspiration. I talk to people now. Yeah. That 10 years ago, used to ask Joe Rogan, why would they bring me and Ari on the road with him?

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. Joe would get calls a month before he'd go to a comedy club, and they'd say, do you have to bring Diaz with you? Yeah. And he would tell me, I know, I know, these people don't watch it, I'm bringing you anyway.

Yeah. You know, the only place that begged them on their hands and knees is the comedy magic club. They're like, what would we give you, like, 10 grand, just leave the years at home? Wow. People ran out last time. Yeah.

The last time I was there, people were just stiff. Those people are scared. Oh, my God. They're scared. They're living in bubbles of money down there. I mean, it's not a bomb all the time. Yeah. around people that are not church people.

I just bomb, and I love it. And I keep going. I keep going. At the four minute mark, if I know they're not digging it. You know me, dog. I got to push the time. At least I got to get entertained out of the deal.

Totally. You know, so it's really interesting. I'm talking to people now today that you're down Thanksgiving. I called the guy that 10 years ago, he called my hotel room to see if I get them free tickets to the U.C. from Joe Rogan.

I just hung up on. Because I was, you know, I knew they didn't like me. Yeah. So why are you talking to me? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I know when you like me. Why are you talking to me?

Yeah. You know, I'm one of those people that I cut that out with people when I, like, quickly. Yeah. A couple years ago, a commercial audition. This dude came up and was like, hey, man. Bro, you're one of my favorite comedians. Like, that's funny because you have a tour in a room in Venice. You never put me in.

Yeah. Right. If I'm so funny, you'd have me there. He was like, ah. Yeah Yeah Let's go away Why you lying to me for

Nobody's It's it's And it's never Listen I've been around For too long To let this affect me Yeah Like if I was the old

Joey Deers 20 years ago I'd tell all these people To suck my dick Yeah Which means I wouldn't work today I'd work in four clubs Yeah Yeah right

There was only like Five comedy club owners That really like Booked me And try to headline me And say get one more credit Everybody else Always said

You know, they don't like the drug angle or whatever. So it's like the funniest thing I've seen lately is all the people that they have on camera going to Trump's tower, trying to get a job now. Yeah. You know, man, it seems funny to you guys. You both giggle.

It's very embarrassing to a guy like me. Yeah. It's very embarrassing to a guy like me. And I went to this place earlier and I bumped into this guy and I met this guy a couple times he's a big time M.A guy and the guy pulled me over to say

how mad Ronda Rousey was and Joe Rogan. Oh yeah? Yeah. Not only Joe Rogan, anybody who in that time period that she got knocked out, anybody who said anything on the negative air, like she's just furious.

And she has a long list and she was very angry and you know if i don't you know it doesn't pertain to me i really don't give a fuck right but i've had that type of anger it knows and you know it doesn't get you know i don't even know what the fuck we're talking about i remember burr told me specifically a couple years ago and and it saved me big time he said we're we're in the green room and i was like yeah man this fucking and that fucking and he goes hey man i know you you're gonna get there you got fucking mad drive and you're funny you're gonna get there and when you do

don't fucking tell those people to fuck off that close the doors on yeah no and he told me right away because it's not personal it's just business it's a business that's it's a fucking business when he told me that man I took it in and I never forgot it man I get it I get it once they can get something from you you're in do you think What's going on right now I could have handled 15 years ago. This would have been done. Right. This podcast would have Lee, I would have been here waiting for me 10 days already.

Yeah. There would have been times I would have told Lee 6 a.m., Lee wouldn't have heard from me for days. Yeah. It'd be embarrassing. This would have not worked. No, this would have worked if I was doing drugs. It's been a lot of work, you know.

And, though, there was a ton of naysay. in the beginning and I'm just happy that the podcast is still afloat I don't care about number one and number two that's never concerned me that me either that'll drive you crazy that type of stuff will drive you crazy or you could do is go out there and do the best job that you could do you know I learned a lot from that twist assist the document I did too man charged me I watched the first half was a little it took a while to pick up for Uncle Joey yep and then once it did pick up it was like oh fuck I This is me.

It's all about work ethic. That whole fucking movie is about work ethic. Because over and over and over, they keep getting dealt the shit cards. I'll tell you what. That's not work ethic. It's not work ethic. It's called a strong American back. Yeah.

A strong American back. You know what? I think after the guy would have had a heart attack on the plane, I would have quit. Yeah. I would have quit the band. I don't know if I'll quit playing music. Don't get me wrong. Right.

Me personally, I think these guys are fucking the Malook. They got to have the Malook on them. Yeah. Yeah. That's me. That's in my own heart. I would have quit after the guy died. But D. Snyder was very intelligent.

Oh, God. Listen, any band that's successful has one guy that's business savvy from Mick Jagger. Totally. To, I don't know who it was in Led Zeppel. Well, they had Peter Grant, the best manager on the planet. That was what it was about. You dream to have a manager like that guy. He invented that thing where before when you'd come over to tour, the venue got 90% and the band got 10.

And then when Zeppelin came over, he goes, no, no, the band gets 90, you get 10. And they go, no. And he goes, cool. And then they realize, I'd rather have 10% of Zeppelin than nothing. And they changed the whole fucking game. And they had to pay up front. Had to pay up front. They had to pay the tickets up front, the full cost on the tickets, or they would not play.

the venue was it was so excellent manager excellent manager but another band that had personal tragedies you know Carrick his son died Robert Plant lost the son totally somebody else died oh the Bonzo dies he's got a book that was the end of the band but in those nine albums you look at all the adversity you know that you have to put car crash in 75 yeah yeah yeah there was a car crash car there was a son that died there was a couple fucking issues that came up, man. And they put out some of the best music they ever put out after that. Like, nothing fucking happened.

It took a couple years. It took a couple years, presents. But I respect that. Listen, man, I hate to, you know, I was not liked as a comic. The only person that liked me was one person,

Mitzi, motherfucker, and sure. Yeah. That's all that mattered. That was it. Cooper gave me spots at the impra but off nights yeah i wasn't there with sarah sylvan the kid from canada and that was a complete different crew that the friday night wasn't getting friday night spots at the impra i think that was happening yeah the only place i was giving me friday night's spot was the store and saturday late like a motherfucker but i could talk shit yeah it's where you tonight motherfucker yeah yeah yeah yeah but everything else like the comedy was a disappointment

Like I was just confused totally about comedy. Yeah, totally. Admitting it right now on air completely from A to Z. I didn't understand what the fuck they were talking about. You know, I didn't know about the tickets. I didn't know about the money. I thought if you were funny and then they had a formula. Yeah.

And once that formula hit, I thought that was when you hit. That's why I went by the formula and nothing happened. Right. So the game changed, game changed in front of me. it wasn't what I thought it was. Same with me when I got it. Yeah. Once you get in, the change, the game changes.

Well, you think on the outside, if you're making people laugh, then, okay, then you've made, you're, you're going to be working. And then really quickly you realize, oh, it's not about that. You know what I mean? It's, it's all kinds of different games going on, you know, and you're going like, wait a minute, I just killed in there. And they're like, that doesn't matter. You know, and that's when I think. You can realize, well, I don't need to kill then. I want to be myself.

I want to have my own voice. If it's not about killing, then I might as well be up here being myself. You know what I mean? And that's what I realized when Ian Edwards told me like, man, you're just doing bullshit up there. And I was like, he's right. And I started all over. Like, well, if it's not about, you know, just rocking it, I'm just going to be up here and do my thing. Where's Tony Bennett at that, cocksucker?

Oh, shit. Oh my God, it's a beautiful Nice way to end the nice weekend Start a new week I love you dude Thanks for having me man Every time To pick up the pieces

When somebody breaks your heart Some somebody Twice as smart As I A somebody who Will swear to be true as you used to do with me. Who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company? Wait and see.

I want to be around. Let me get some shoutouts right now. Wednesday night. Excuse me, Wednesday night. Brandon, my man from weed maps, showed up with a bag of fucking goodies. I want to thank you. Thank you very much for the t-shirts

and the hoodie and the hat. When Lee comes over tomorrow, I'll give him a nice little black hoodie and a T-shirt so he could be the new weed maps to it. You know what I'm saying? You're going to look fucking sharp in the daytime. All Dean Franco, Andrew Raines,

Christo Fran, the Joe Zone, my man, one-by-one podcast, Compione. El Mundo and cocaine tamales hanging in there, you bad motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Ha ha.

Something I'd ask you about this Twister sister documentary. The one last thing I wanted to go over with you. That was interesting about it. And I can't, and I got stoned and I can't fucking remember what the hell it was. Fuck. It doesn't really matter. It was. Who the fuck knows?

I got high and I forgot. I'm sorry, people. What happens? It happens to everybody. you have a thought Tony Bennett came on I reflected on Tony Bennett now I'm fucking I'm saying next thing I gotta cope it's all

next thing I gotta focus or write it to fuck down The movie's on Netflix if you guys What's the name of it? It's called Twisted Fucking Sister Jesus Christ We are twisted fucking sister And man I tell you some of the footage on that

Is so fucking cool And man like Dee Snyder With the same girl from day one. I gotta tell you what impressed me about Dee Snyder. His singer never impressed me. I saw him in some talk shows, and he grabbed me one time.

He did. He was on a show, maybe. Remember when they were trying to, in 1985, PMRC? In 1985, 1986, we got into a weird dilemma

in this country about cursing on albums. Yep. And one night, it was vice president, wife Al Gore's wife. Tipper Gore. Was going after him.

Frank Zappa. And Zappa. There was a couple of them that she was going after. And I heard his speech about it. And it really blew me away that he was so articulate and he had done the research. And I didn't become a fan of that. Yeah. But now I liked him a little bit like him.

He ate her alive. Yeah, he ate her alive. Yeah, he ate her alive. It was her and that dick from the beach boys. Wilson, you know, he was like, oh, yeah, this is not music for kids, you know, and it was, and then him and Frank Zappa just handed them their asses, you know, with like knowledge. They thought they were just going to battle some buffoon rockers, and they were like, sorry, here you go.

Oh, and they wore, like, amazing, like, suits just to shut them down. You know, they came in all looking good and ate them up, man. And what's funny is that that's when the labeling happened on records, and the records sold bigger than ever. It backfired because everybody, because they had those records with no swearing, no one bought them. No one bought them. Remember that?

They'd be right next to the one with a label. You just walk right by that one. It was crazy. And that's when I got some respect from him. This guy's a sharp fucking dude. Yeah. And then I didn't pay attention to music. I didn't know they broke up.

I didn't know nothing. The only thing I knew was when I was a kid, that fucking song came out in 84, and we were going through a cocaine epidemic. Yeah, totally. And it was like, I would just call people up and go, I want to rock. And we would just laugh on the phone.

Yeah, yeah. That was it. That was the way. When you'd answer sleeping, like, hello, I want to rock. Yeah. Come on, man, call me back. And then I call them back, I want to rock. Yeah, yeah.

I used to say, I'm smoking rock. No. And those days, I was just snort and rot. Yeah, yeah. But I had this one buddy in particular who had a funeral parlor, and I would call the funeral parlor and his father would have to go, I want to rock. Rocks.

There's no rock here. He was like, old at the time. And his son would get on. What are he telling my dad about rocks? He was nothing, dad. I'm just fucking with him. That's so great. I love that song because of that.

Because what happened was then somebody, they started making music videos. Yep. And two of their videos blew up. They had that one with the guy from Animal House. Remember,

what do you want to do with your life? Yeah, and blew his head off. And he'd fly out of the house and shit. Jesus Christ, that was a long time ago. It really was, man.

I mean, Twisted Sister is, you know, still around. I mean, you know, they just retired, but they're still around,

man, since 70, what was that? 73. or something, 75? They're out there doing that circuit till two, three weeks ago when I saw them.

I mean, all the odds, they should have been done right after the first guy has the heart attack on the plane, the record guy. And here they are, still rolling. And Dee wrote all that stuff.

I never even knew that. You know, like when Dee says, he's in the room and he goes, I'm going to show that J.J. French. Fuck him, man. I'm going to, I'm going to write the best songs ever. And then J.J. French is like,

like I'm going to show those other bands. We're going to eat them alive. Their drive, you know, to just become fucking great. It was amazing, right? And they all learned as they were going along the way with the costumes. Yeah. Then all of a sudden they started merchandising, shirts, fan clubs, and, you know, he didn't want fans.

Yeah. He won it. Sick motherfuckers. I mean, I thought that was brimming. And I remember part of all that. I can tell you I remember it fully. I remember bits and pieces of it that, Listen, man, I don't do it for my...

I do it because that's how these things go on if they fit. Sometimes you're a misfit, man. Yeah. I'm a misfit. Me too. I'm a misfit since day one. We're in our 50s during comedy.

We're outside of the motherfucking box. Last night I'm in the main room. Yeah. And it's like, last night I got to jump on them in the main room, which is always great. I know, right? Yeah. If you got to build up in the main room,

it's a fucking nightmare. I got to jump on them in the main room, and the left side didn't like me. Yeah. But the back liked me, the right liked me, and the middle really liked me. There were people who were from Studio City. Yeah.

And I was just drilling Studio City, the ISIS, the whole fucking thing. And it's just like I'm used to it now. Like, I accepted a long time ago that everybody's going to like you. That's just the way life is. Who gives a fuck? Totally. Go out there, give it 150% because not everybody's going to like you.

It doesn't matter who. the fuck you are listen they killed jesus yeah no like them me yeah he wasn't asking for do ray me he wasn't telling you he wasn't looking for spots yeah no yeah he wasn't looking for spots i mean it's just uh yeah that you gotta go out there and understand who you are the first night of the fucking uh that tour what's that tour i did this year oddball the first night was this fucking that sentence yeah but you know what i went back to my room and I looked at some of the stuff and I rewrote some of the stuff

and I made adjustments and the next night did a little better and I go oh I know what I got to do and then I went the next night and it was really good the fucking third night you know

and that's what we're supposed to do is make adjustments along the way not give the fuck up because you had a bad set dog if I was only give up because I had a bad set oh I always think of Ogden Utah

I think of Brementon, Washington I think of fucking Moscow, Idaho. I think of Edmonton. Oh, I never went up that far to bomb, that far from my house. That's the worst. When you go six hours to bomb,

that's a motherfucker. Right. And then the six hours back, that's like a UFC fight on a long flight. Yeah. After they knocked you out in the first round. That's a long fucking flight. That flight home, I just kept going like,

wow. Wow. I think that, I truly believe that these epic, bad shows that we have are they come at right times in your life you're cruising maybe you're doing a little bit too much of everything like okay I'm podcasting I'm comedy okay and then I go to a concert and then I go to a movie and then boom a bad set comes you go oh that's right I need to sit

down and fucking focus I think they come at the right time for me at least you know and they knock me into a fierce mode of a vision of like I've got to get this going you know I go through us like right now I'm going through something that because I'm used to I'm not panicking yeah right now I'm going through the state of integrating new material but it ain't going nowhere right it just isn't going nowhere no matter how I integrated it I think I put something new in last night that really happened and it worked a little bit. Let me see where it goes, but it's been a slow, and it's going to be another slow month. And I got a big New Year's gig, and I got a gig on the 21st of the Chinese restaurant, Ventura.

Oh, that place is great. Oh, it's great. I love it. You know, I got a big month and you got a right, but right now I know I'm not in panic mode. It's just not working. Right now I'm in the mode that just go on stage and do the best you can or what you got, go 50-50. It's a 15-minute set. Just do a minute of every joke.

Do 30 minutes and 15. Yeah. Leave them breathless. Yeah. When you walk off stage, just their energy, you're leaving breathless. That's where I am right now. Yeah. I'm just doing smoking mirrors.

I'm not writing. I'm writing, but not writing. I'm writing, but it's loose. Yeah. But I know, me and Lee will talk about this in the car, and also will go out, and on the way back, He'll go, where'd you get those three bits from Lee? The one, two, I wrote two nights ago, and the one I put together tonight.

And you just put together seven minutes, my friend. Yeah. Plus the three you had, that's fucking whatever, 10, whatever. That's true. Boom. I got myself 10 minutes where last week I had who got. Yeah. I had zero.

That was a fartley? I hadn't you turned. No, that's my chair. I'm sorry. I totally was killing over that. Turkey was coming out of this shit. Oh, I've been farting all the weekend. Did you make stove time?

No, I'm not a big stuffing guy. So what did you make? You didn't make stuffing at all? No, no stuff. Just string beans, mashed potatoes. You've shipped it up. And your mac and cheese, yep. No, sorry to throw you off on the food thing.

I just feel that after I saw that movie, like, when I got up last night, I got up at four. I stayed up for like an hour and a half. And I thought about all the times I could have quit. But I crack a joke all the time with Richard Gere. I couldn't quit. No. I couldn't quit. By 96, I could not quit because I couldn't go anyway.

I'm never quitting. I had $500 in the bank, maybe. Yeah. The car was worth six. I owed thousands. Yeah. Thousands of dollars. The smart move for me in those days was to...

And I even went back to New York for seven months, and I made a little bit of money, but not enough to convince me to quit. Yeah. Not enough to convince me to quit. That's me to quit. New York was where I found my niche. And then I went back to Colorado, and that's where I fucking really. And then I went to Seattle and banged it out.

And, you know, like I said, February 19th of 2017, I'll be a regular at the store for 17 years. That's badass. A lot of ways for somebody else, they'd say, man, you're a fucking failure. You were there for 20 years. Let me tell you something, my friend. I saw them all come and go. I saw people fold them the pressure in that fucking room. I saw people die of slow death in that room.

I learned lessons about life in that room, about seeing top comics fold behind a woman one night and never coming back in that fucking room. Yep. I see people tap out every day. I learn love about that room, and I'm still there 20 fucking years. Dean Del Rey.

Jesus Christ. That place saved my life. It really did. I saved my life, too. In so many ways. Thursday, I'm driving down. And I stop at the light right before the grocery store on Laurel Canyon. Oh, yeah.

And if you make that right there, you got to go a thousand different directions, but Ralphie has a house up there. Yeah. And the one year we spent Thanksgiving up there. Ralphie told the story out here, but it's a little bit crazy the way he told it. It was myself, my wife at the time we were just dating. Marilyn Martinez, her husband, some other friends of ours from Houston. And to be honest, he at that time was the only one that was making money.

You know, he was making real money. He called me up and he goes, where are you eating, cow cow? Man, I made 10 turkeys and loft a tail. And we went up there and he treated us like a king. Ralphie always was generous. When Ralphie first started rocking, he took me under his wing, and every time he'd see him, he'd throw me a fucking yardstick. But in his table at that time, Maryland's been dead nine years.

This had to be 10 years ago. Right. So I was still doing blow. Was I still doing blow? Maybe. Because I quit in 2007, so this is 2006. Yeah, I'm still doing blow. I'm up there with my wife.

I'm up there with Ralphie's wife. We're up at this house, having a great time. And my phone goes off, and the comedy store goes, hey, you've got a spot at 10.45, but three people canceled. Can you get here at 10 o'clock? The only problem was during the football game. And Ralphie took this bag of mushrooms out. Oh.

And we started jumping on these fucking things. And you know me, I'm a savage. Yeah. I start eating these fucking crispy mushrooms. Ow, ow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I mean stems and buds, and I take two of them, put them in my pocket. I go down to the comedy store. Now, Ralphie's got a jar of weed, like I said, with a lid on it.

Yeah. It's got a half pound, maybe 10 ounces in there. Just mayonnaise jar. Open it up and take a butt out and break it up and put it in either of the four bungs that are on the table. Then in the middle of the room, he's got a salami, co-cut, gutta, three different type of cheese, fruit. In the fucking main room, he's got ribs, brisket, and then the main room, he's got turkey and stuffing and all that shit. I mean, he's just a city of food. You know, all types of desserts from Gelson's and some other bakery that his assistant went to.

Yeah. Ralphie just went all out. He went all out for us and his family. I don't even think he had kids then. Maybe one kid. Right. Maybe. But the moral story is we all eat these fucking marshmals.

Ralphie charms on him. Marilyn Martinez, God bless her soul, champs on him. Her husband charms on him. And we shoot down to the fucking store. There's got to be 80 people. And they're ready to go. And when I walk in the fucking original room, dog,

you know, the neon? Yeah. The room just turned purple. And I go up on stage and this room is fucking. But now, there's neon at the comedy store. If you go up there and you're very quiet or there's not a lot of people in the room, you can hear the neon going buzz. Think about what happens when you eat three grams of fucking mushrooms.

It was buzzing purple. Is that the right thing to say? Purple buzz. Purple buzz in here. And I went up there and I was bombing for about four minutes. Yeah. And then I got the emotional end from the mushroom and I just unleashed on him. By the time I got off that stage, dog, I was in full force tripping.

Wow. I got off that stage and ran in my car with my wife and we just got the fuck out of it. I got a package from Chewy. Yeah. At a value in my pocket from somewhere in there. Because in those days at the store, the longer you were there, the more shit you picked up. Oh, yeah.

Somebody would give you $10 worth of men. Handoffs. Oh, it was tremendous. Yeah, handoffs all fucking nightmare. That's fucking crazy, man. What's that, Lee? You still have, you got a spot at 1045. I had a spot like an 11, Lee or something.

Okay, so what? Does it how a difference? But it was like 5 o'clock, what am I going to hold off and not your mushroom? Of course. I took a guess. I took the mushrooms weren't any good. Yeah. And I ate him, and I ate him, and nothing happened.

And then my digestive. and got to the, you know, I had eating turkey and stuffing and fucking spare ribs and cheese and fucking. You just figured they'd go away. Yeah, no, they didn't go away. Now my stomach got the process and the fucking, the mescaline or whatever fuck I mean, the mushrooms. And now Lee, it's all hit me at once.

Oh, my God. But it hit me when I walked into that fucking original room. When I got to the top of those stairs and I heard that neon and all of something, they go, come into the stairs. Yeah. Joey Diaz. And I go up there and fucking that room. And there was red in the room, but I didn't see it.

It all turned purple. But the moral story was Marilyn was there. Ralphie was there. It was happy at times. Marilyn and her husband are both dead. And obviously, Marilyn and his wife aren't together no more. Yep. They had the two dogs.

We went and walked the dogs. We got high. So the other night, I don't even bother Lee Thanksgiving night. I just got in the car, made a left and went down Laurel Canyon, and I got into the economy store. I parked the car. There's people in there. You know, I go through the kitchen.

The ladies back there bartending, and there's another cute waitress working that night. Yeah. I get a water from the bartender. I walk onto the hallway, and I make it left. And I lean back at the bar. Now, I'm not by the stairway. Yeah.

I'm farthest from the bathroom as I could be, okay? I lean my backpack. I open up my water. I drink it. And I just look, you know, just to see I've been coming here. You know, how lucky am I'm still here. And all of a sudden, look straight ahead. There's a picture of Marilyn Martinez staring right straight at me.

Wow. And I reached over and touched it. I said, God bless you. That's crazy, right? I can't believe you're right fucking here. Next time you go to the store, make the left out of the original. and just pull back and right there it's on the bottom shelf

and I even pulled it out a little bit just to let her know I'm watching nine years later nobody talks about you when they still remember you because that's who I went down and that night where Ralphie and the fucking shrooms and you know man you go through a lot of shit here

that's like my that was it that's my son's anarchy yeah that was my mafia was the comedy store that was it yeah that's your organization I didn't want to be a part of I ended up being a part of it. Yeah. Yeah, man, I fucking love it there.

And it's like, you know, four years today, man, four years of paid regular. And it's like the greatest day of my life. And I've done fucking tons of shit in my life. Tons of shit. You know what I mean? Signed record deals, played music, toured all over.

None of it comes close to that. $15 a set. Yeah. And I never even think of the money. $15 a set. Yeah. I never even... That's the happiness we get as individuals.

I don't even think about that ever. All as I think about is like, oh shit, here I'm going on. The original room again. The original room again. Original, you know what I mean? And it's just like, it's so fucking good to me, man. I love that place. It's just, to me, it represents rock and roll still.

Just the vibe of it. It's raw. It's dead. It's dangerous and it's fucking rocking. It represents your rock and roll. Yeah. That's the most important thing about the store. I think when people go to the store,

they know going in that this place is a little freer. Totally. That the people go in there and push it to the hill. You're at the fucking comedy store, Jack. Yeah. You know, if you know anything about comedy and the reputation, you know, we go in there and push it to the hill. This is it.

Sometimes the shit you want to hear. Sometimes it ain't. Yeah. That's part of the fucking art is making it. something you want to hear. You follow me. That's the art. Whether you want to hear it or not,

I'm going to make you hear it in my fucking way. You're going to hear it, and that might not be the best way, and you might laugh and you might not. Oh, there's a Frenchman's fuck. Take a chance. Columbus did, bitch. Yeah.

Wham! I love when you say stuff in there, and you see people pull back, and then you deliver the next thing, and they're dying. You have to. Yeah, yeah. But that's 20.

25 years. Yeah. That's 25 years of, you know, I was watching a clip from Joe Rogan last week, and he had the boxer on. Anybody who watched that podcast? It was pretty. I forget what his name. Shannon Briggs? Is that his name?

Yeah, the channel. Yeah. And it was so funny. He was telling the story. He had a clip on Twitter. And it was funny when he told the story. I was laughing. But he told, they cut it out and put it on Twitter about him having one kickboxing match.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw a clip. I saw a, like, uh, uh, Instagram thing on that. Yeah. And he said how he, uh, punts the guy and the guy goes, hmm, this guy doesn't punch to her. Let me get in there a little closer. Yeah. And also I released a can of them. He went, the more you do something, the more shortcuts you learn. Yeah. Number two, hence, the more tricks you learn. You know how to take a room now and really rock it, you know. I remember still going into the main room and just being overwhelmed. Yeah, yeah. And then opening for Paul Rodriguez and Bakersfield, Visalia,

there being a thousand people, that had me just being overwhelmed. It took a while to learn, but it takes a while to develop at every level, the same way with a band. One, for a year when the garage were doing bar mitzvahs. Yeah. A Lee's sister's friend has a garage and they charge admission and we go there and rock out. And then we start going to rock clubs. Then we move up to whiskey or go-go, maybe five, six years later.

You know what I'm saying? And then with God's help, we get a fucking record deal. And next thing you know, we're on the road with guns and fucking roses. That's the plan. Fuck, yeah. That's the plan. Like, I had a great friend growing up. I'm lying to you people.

He wasn't a great friend. He was family with a great friend of mine. There were cousins. And growing up, I saw him maybe two or three times. But already he was like on a school band. Yeah. And that band got really popular. And he ended up going to Japan.

Wow. That shit's crazy, right? When someone goes to Japan with you young? And for years, he stayed in Japan because his band was an all-white heavy metal band that did covers. I forget the name of the fucking band. Right. His name was, I think it was Bobby Bender. Yes, it was Bobby Bender.

He was a drummer with one of those bands, and they were doing something big in Japan. But who knows whether he made it big of that? He did his dream. He made a living. Totally. He's probably still in Japan teaching drumming to a little. fucking Japanese kids who want to be heavy metal drummers who knows yeah telling stories of his days on the fucking road and yamasaki totally you know growing that sixth fucking toe after he did that

nuclear plant and fucking sukonuku yeah yeah right the Hiroshima meltdown surprise lee you look like you went through the Hiroshima meltdown take a look at that fucking chocolate hit you like a like a yo-romero knee to the head me a second piece of chocolate I'm talking I'm talking cool. You doing cool? Mumbles. Oh, my God. Is mom at home tonight waiting for you?

Yeah, she's there here. Oh, Jesus, Greg. You're not getting that until 5 in the morning. What are you going to tell her? There's nothing is it. She doesn't care. She just comes down with what's going on? Why are you out here five in the morning falling asleep?

Let me say something. Don't take a genius to know. You're going down tonight. You came in here tired tonight. You look fucking wiped out already from the weekend. You've been loving. You've been loving and eating and watching movies. You looked all wiped out.

Look at you. Okay. Okay. I don't know, Paul went to her mom's house for lunch today, so I've been by myself for a few hours. So what have you been doing? Fucking crying by his son. No, I was watching the Patriots crying.

The tears. death over here by yourself. I miss mama. Texting every 10 minutes when are you coming back. Young man's game. Young man's game. When are you coming home? I'm hungry.

You said we live together. This is bullshit. Now I'm empty by myself. I'm going to get poisoned. Lee is like living with your lady? Yeah, so far it's pretty good. How long has it been? Like two weeks?

weeks oh two weeks yeah so far it's okay two weeks it's always okay at two weeks yeah yeah there's two months when you call me at two in the morning dog call me back the time of the office is getting lit on fire I'll be right there get me out of this fucking death trap oh where is fuck I'm gonna have to move to Mexico he shit I'll say you're gonna have just spots I got a spot tonight the fake spot. I got a spot tonight. No, I mean, maybe, but she's, she just has seen like I'm not just, I'm just not home

Sunday through Wednesday, pretty much. Yeah. So she just doesn't really see me, but it's, uh, so that's been pretty great. I see her, I wave out of her once you're sleeping and I go, and I go to the couch. How old were you the first time you moved in with a woman? you know it was it was pretty good because she was

like a neat freak oh you and you move with a fucking woman I think it was like a neat freak 20 21 how was it well I love this girl you know what I mean like high school

you were with her since high school Yeah, chased after her and her sister, they were twins. This is a crazy story. Senior year they moved to our school. And I show up late, right? And I show up to get my classes. You could stay until 10-15. I'm just looking at you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm good. And I meet this girl and I say, hey, what's your name? And she just looked at me and just blew me off and walked by. And then, like, at lunch, I went up to her. I said, hey, I met you earlier. And she's like, I didn't meet you. I go, yeah, yeah, at the thing, at the office. She said, no, I didn't meet you.

And she walks away and I'm like, what a bitch. And then I realized on the third day, she had a twin sister. So I was talking to the sister, right? And I was thinking, like, wow. And I chased after her for a year, a year. and finally we started going out and then that was like really my only uh serious girlfriend like seven years you lived together for how long we lived together like five years but i was just you know rock and roll you know cocaine and booze and was she snorting no she didn't drink or anything

totally straight that's why i loved her we're we're opposites you know and you know i would be To me, I was just addicted to coke and boo. She thought I was out hunting pussy, but I wasn't. I was just all about hang with dudes playing rock in the studio, you know, but I would just disappear for three, four days at a time, just drug runs, you know, just benders, playing all night, then bowling, then, you know, at 6 a.m., the liquor store is open, get more booze. Do you regret it? Regret.

You regret losing her over. You know, I don't, because. Because I knew that rock and roll was my thing. Like as much as I loved her, I feared domestic life of kids and married and all that. Because I knew that would be the end of my rock. You know what I mean? Every guy that got married and had kids, they tapped out of the game. And the dudes.

That was the beginning of the end. That was the end. And you kind of know it as it's happening unless you're fucking Joe Perry and you can afford it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that always was a fear of mine. That's why I've always, like, fucked with condoms, too, because I was like, I can't have any kids. Because, you know, once you have kids, you got to provide.

You can't be a dirtbag in a band. You know, you got to make money because, you know. A dream is something that's really powerful. Sometimes you just figure out a way how they just break even, just to do your dream. Totally. It's in my blood. That's the thing.

It's like, I never got married. I never had kids because to me, each day I get up for this. That's what I get up for and it's like a selfish thing. I don't want to be a dick to,

that's why I have a girlfriend now. I don't want to be an asshole to them when they go like, are you going to go out again tonight? It's like, yeah, every night. This is what I do.

You know, so I don't want to put them through that because it's just, it's not cool. You know what I mean? I mean, I've got to drive and it's like there's nothing else I see except for the comedy. Listen, let me tell you something. There's nights at 8.30 at my house.

Yeah. I'm going to shoot myself. Yeah. Once the baby goes in that bedroom and it's me and my wife in the living room and she's telling me the hundred ways why she's died and I'm energetic. I'm ready to stab a motherfucker at 830. You know me. I'm ready to do something. Am I ready to go see Led Zeppelin at the forum and park and pay $50?

Not really. But am I ready to meet you and smoke a joint outside of the parking lot and go in and order something to eat? Maybe talk some shit and watch a game. I'm ready for that. You know what? If it's close by, I'll come by and do a spot of your club. Do I really want to get involved in an hour drive to Irvine and tweet? Not fucking really.

Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to be a coom-see-sou type of night. You know what I'm saying? where anything can happen or nothing can happen. I live for that shit. Me too. I don't know what the fuck I want to do tonight. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. But if Dean calls me, he said, dog, you know, there's a comedy room, two minutes from your house. Go up there at 9 o'clock. The guy said he'll put you up. Fuck yeah. Let's go check it out and have a fucking tutelots.

Maybe there's a taco place next to it. What the fuck do you know, you know? But to be a good husband, I got to pay my dues at the house. Totally. You know, so those moves. have to be valued at something. Every night, while the baby's in the tub,

I tell my wife I go for a ride. Sometimes they just go to 7-Eleven. Sometimes I go to Starbucks and get a coffee and drink heaven, throw it away. Just because when I was growing up, that was part of what I did to take the edge off. I'm not going out tonight, but I tell you what I'm going to do. From 8 to about 825, I'm going to take a ride. Maybe stop it, yum, get a dough.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe stop at Lee's house and get a fucking edible. You gotta do something, you know what I'm saying? I told my wife, I gotta change my life around, I think. Because I don't want to be at the store every night. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be that 54-year-old holding on to his last years of daylight down at the store telling stories.

Yeah. I want to go down there, do a spot, get some respect from the young guys or not, whatever the fuck. I don't give a fuck. I'm just going to do 15 minutes. I'm not either of four. fuck with your world. This is your guy's world. I just got a spot from fuck-o.

In fact, that's why I do, what's his name spot at 7 o'clock at night. So I have to linger in there all night, like that fucking lurking old guy at the store that's a pervert and talking to the waitresses. I like those waitresses. It doesn't mean I'm fucking hitting on them. Like I was 20 years ago trying to get a bindle with them.

It was a blonde that always did a bindle and I'd split it with her from Joey. These waitresses, I don't even think they do drugs. They smoke pot. Yeah. I bring them stars from time to time. I smoke weed and whatever the fuck. That's about the hang for me. That's what saved me was like, you know, when I was 44 years old, starting comedy,

all my friends were married with kids and long gone. And here I am floating around Hollywood. My rock and rolls over. And I'm just like, wow, you know, what's going on? And then, you know, I start comedy. And I got these new friends, Eric Griffin, Delia, Ian E. Edwards and we're at the 101 late night just busting balls. What time is the 101 open until 3 a.m.

Really? So we would go there. We have a nice coconut shake with two eggs on the side up. A cheese omel with some wheat toast over there. That's my pit stop when I go to the doctor. Oh, yeah. Before a blood test at 8.30 if I'm allowed to eat. Yeah, yeah.

I don't even eat at the house. I just have a little protein shake. I shoot over there and I get the fucking two eggs. Yeah. Wheat toast, no bacon because the sugar. I don't want it to raise up. Yeah, yeah. I just drink water or something.

But if I don't have a blood test, nothing, I'm banging out a little bacon. Yeah. I've been going there for fucking since Jesus left Chicago. I don't know it was open until three. Yeah. Every night when I started comedy, we would get the back corner booth. And I was the new guy, and they would just unload on me, just nonstop ball busting. It was great.

But I would learn all kinds of shit about comedy. And I would get in bed around 3.30. and start over again the next night. And I just fucking, I've always been about that late night hang with band guys talking about records, where they were produced, who did them,

who wrote that song? And now it's comedy, you know? Now it's like, this bit didn't work, that bit was great. Oh, I loved what you did. And it's just, I'm just engulfed in it 24-7, you know?

That's what I, that's all I do. Well, that's what you, listen, That's what you have to do. Your first, for every years, like I said, a limited action to do. A couple months ago, Lee and I stayed on my corner to one in the morning telling stories. It was amazing just being outside

and the weather and shit, you know. The problem with me is I do that one, two nights in a row. I'm walking around at six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next to you know, I wonder why I got a headache. My blood pressure's up because I slept fucking five hours. was the night the last two, a couple nights. Yeah.

Instead of sleeping in the afternoon, I got too much pride, so I'll go for a walk or do something like that. Me, when I'm fucking killing myself. I got to rest up a little. I'm going to go in front of fucking 200 people and yelling scream this weekend. So I try to keep it light. Totally, totally.

I go to the store on Tuesdays. It's a great workout night or recita. Yeah. You know, but I don't want to be that guy at the store. When I first started at the store, there was dirty fucking guys that were that guy. Yeah. Hey man, I used to get spots in here every fucking night till you came along.

They all had a bad attitude. Right. I want to keep the store fresh. I'm very fortunate to be down there. I'm just going to shoot in, do my spot, get a ward. Maybe two of them. Talk to two of the waiters. Talk to the manager.

Talk to Richie. Talk to Chris DeLeer. Talk to you. What's his name a hug? And I get the fuck out of that. I'm not that. I've never been to the front bar yet. Wow, yeah.

In a year and a half, two years, I've been back there. I stay away from the front bar. I don't need to be in the front ball. I never go up there. Too many cigarettes. Sometimes I walk to the thing and I walk to the curtains and I look to see who's out there. Yeah, yeah.

But I'm still in the fucking building. It's that type of party. Yeah, yeah. So that's how I do it. I'm happy you watch a documentary. Oh, God, I love to do it. From now on, let's do a documentary every month. Let's do it.

We either get a thumbs up or a thumbs down. This was a thumbs up in my world. Absolutely. If you know anything about music, but you appreciate marketing, you have a band, this is something to watch just to talk about marketing without Twitter and Facebook

Absolutely Because if you could work both worlds in Like now I'm trying to figure out What they were doing Yep Now I'm trying to go Hmm Let me think of what these motherfuckers are doing

I know they would advertise in this paper I would read in Jersey Yep But every bar didn't They didn't advertise it Every bar did All those hole in the wall There was one down the shore

There was the soap factory. There was one, the one they talked about in Long Island. Yeah. Oh, speaks. Speaks. Oh, yeah, 3,000 cedar. You know, it's funny before the podcast, we were talking here, and he was talking about the club owner that lent them money.

Yeah. And you like the one guy looked like you or something. It was crazy. But it was crazy. All those clubs in those days were Mafia Row. Totally. And their job was to go in there, cleanse money, you know, make it look like it was clean.

and fucking devoured a place. Like Henry Hill said, landed on fire. Yeah. That's why they were telling the people coming here and break it up for us. It was crazy, man. It was crazy.

They took the sinks. Yeah. They pulled the AC down. They pulled the AC down. Oh, my God. They played the closing night of 2000, where Saturday Night Fever was filmed. Yes.

They played the closing night of that to exercise the disco dean. out of there remember that and they lit that Saturday night a fever sign on fire and I was like I kind of want that thing I wish they wouldn't have to look at that they looked on fire and it became something behind it that was cool it said it's sucked or it's a twisted sister or something like that it right behind it were marketing genius they were man you know man what about when they did that fucking they did the amusement park and 22,000 people showed

up. They go, yeah, Zebra had 3,000. They go, if you get like 5,000, it'd be great. 22,000. There was people hanging off the fucking, they said a 10-story building, and people trash the amusement park. There was really a part that was interesting. Lee doesn't know about Twister's sister. Yeah. But I want Lee to watch this. Yeah, absolutely. Because there's one part where he says something that applies to comedy, that I really believe. you minute stop and address the situation oh yeah remember that you know when you do jiu jiu jitsu when i first joined jiu jitsu i'd be thrown through the air when i started going to aubrador crane it was the first time touch it once somebody grabs you the first thing you do is

address it pop it off even if his next hand grabs you pop that one more keep popping off and one of those grab them and take them down that's what it becomes it becomes a grab don't grab me you know i'm saying it becomes a grab uh what was he talking about what the when he played donington and they're throwing the shit at him and he stops it and i believe huh address it he addressed it oh it was unbelievable he addressed it he stops he takes his makeup off oh yeah that's on the tv show that's on the tv show that was insane that was insane i couldn't believe he took it up three levels then he got lemmy to come up there yeah and play with him and they fucking blew the stage off

and it showed his commitment to his fucking audience. It was crazy. Like he hated to see one person not rocking. It drove him fucking nuts. I can't even see people laughing. I'm deaf. I can't even hear people. Yeah, I'm deaf too.

I'm always like, what? What the fuck that they laugh at? What didn't they laugh at? I'm always like that. I'm like, what? You know, all that brilliance taught me that sometimes. I've done that. Yeah.

I have done that sometimes and taken a deep, deep chance. but if you address the situation and set them straight in a polite way they'll take the ride and that's it the demons out of the room it was on TV he's like wait a minute are you not fucking digging this because of how I look because of my fucking makeup and he goes get over here to the roadie and the guy brings over the makeup remover and he peels he wipes it off and he goes

now fucking listen to what I'm doing now look at me and then it just the crowd went crazy It was a total gamble. Oh my God, it was great. But that's what made it not a gamble. It was his commitment. Totally. His commitment to what he was doing.

Listen, man, that part of it blew me to fuck away. Yeah. That part of the documentary blew me to fuck away because it's showing me where I need to go now. That's the level after all these years where you really have to take it. Yep. Every time you go on stage, you're going up there to fucking die.

Like, Duke, Kim, against Boom, Boom, Mancini. Totally. It's Kill or Be Kill, and that's why he had the fan base he did. They talked about the journey with them giving out shots until Gordo puked. That was insane, right? People puked on the stage and shit. They went through every fucking phase of my career, like I went through mine. There was a time I'd go on stage and just talk to people.

There was a time if I didn't get a laugh at the time. the comedy store my zip was open my ball would accidentally pop out and it destroyed people for years it destroyed people yeah but at that point you're at the store it's 1245 they've heard every joke already they've seen paul mooney and uh Eddie griffin yeah what are you getting what are you gonna do you know what you fucking got to dig deep and do whatever the fuck it is you got to do crazy and if it's Drop your pants and do a fucking Madonna song. If that's what it takes. Follow that bitch at 1.45 in the morning, motherfucker.

Candles. That's commitment. Yeah. That's commitment. That's what comedy's about. 100%. Comedy. Music.

When you see Leggaple and the song remains the same, it does something to you. When you see 1973, whatever, 1971, the brothers, the Yalman brothers. Yeah. The beacon, not the beacon, but the other place. The Phil Morris. And you look at the brothers and you look at the black dude playing the drums. That's fucking commitment. They're not missing a beat.

It's called white brilliance. Yeah. That's what that's called. It's white fucking brilliance, man. You're not missing a fucking beat. When you see Greg Ormond singing, it does something to you. When you used to go see the band, yes. And the organs and all that shit.

You know what I'm saying? Or what was the other brain salad surgery? Oh, fuck yeah, Funkadelic? No, the other people, Emerson, Lake and Palmer. Oh, Emerson, yeah. I was thinking of, what was that, Parliament, what was there? Parliament and Funkadel.

Yeah, they had that. The spaceship and all that shit. Yeah, they had that song. What's a call? Fucking drawn a blank right now. Before I left Boulder in 95, my friend Snoopy dated a black dude that opened his band opened for P-Funk?

P-Funk. Wow, man. So she would take me and invite me. And it was a... Magid Brain. That's what it's called. It was a pretty interesting scene. Yeah, man.

That shit is cool. It was a very interesting scene. I went to see him twice. You know, in 95, I was still holding on to daylight. I thought I was going to meet a girl in Boulder to make me stay there and be a dad, maybe, and full time. At least with a girl's help, I could settle down, somebody who didn't do drugs. So I said, to fucking meet a nice girl, you got to go. of these clubs. Oh my God.

And I went to a couple, I saw a couple bands. I saw Cheryl Crow for free. Yeah. In April. And like six months later, she wanted $25 for the tickets. Her album went from one level to the next at the Fox Theater

right in both. That place is great. That's a great place. That's why I opened up for Ice Cube, ice tea, whatever. I love that place. I played there with Wallflowers. It was great. That's a crazy place. And then around the corner, I did the one with Marin. The Boulder Theater? Yes.

Awesome. Awesome. Where you at this week? You said, when are you leaving from New York? Okay, I leave to New York, December 1st through the 13th, and then heads up, everybody. I'm coming to the punchline and San Fran. Headline in my first time

doing a weekend there. I always sell it out one or two nights on a weekday, but I'm there 15, uh, sorry, 14, 15, 16, 17, December. Punchline, Sam Fran. Come out. That's a good time. That's a good time.

Punchline's a great place. One of the best clubs in the country. Small and intimate. Listen, I wouldn't blow smoking beer. The holidays are coming. All right? Lee, where's this watch?

What do you think about this MVMT watch, Lee? I really like it. I wear every podcast. I wear it all the time. It's a really, it's light. It's black on black. I really think it looks great with everything. And it keeps great time, so I'm really happy with it.

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We have heard me talk about MBMT watches, and I'm sure you got yourself one now. Let's finish your holiday shopping and get an MBMT watch for somebody on your list. The holiday shopping season is here. With MB&T, you can skip the crowd and standing in crazy lines at the mall and find the gift they love at prices that will beat department stores right now. Movement watches start at $95. At a department store, you're looking at the same watch for $4 to $500. bucks, all right? Move and figured out that by selling online, they were able to cut out the

middleman and the retail markup, providing the best possible price, which means you save dore me. They got classic design, quality construction, and style of middleism, all right? Over 500,000 watches have been sold in over 160 countries. What I'm going to do is this. It's the holidays, all right? Ain't nobody here going to take a chunk out of your pocket. Everything's coming with a nice little angle for you. I'm going to give you 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT watches.com slash church. CHURCH.

Again, I'm giving you 15% off today, right now, with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt watches.com slash church. This watch, look at least. It has a clean design. and you know what people like that watch and my wife said something to lead the end of this because that's a nice watch that's a watch they say you there it's time to step up your watch game all right

if you're a watch person this is the company you got a rock and roll with go to mvmtwatchers.com slash church join the movement all right do me another favor right now this is a beautiful thing I gotta do for you right are you hiring do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates all right

posting your job in one place isn't enough to find good quality candidates. If you want to find the perfect hire, you need to post all your job on the top job sites, and now you can. With ziprecruiter.com, you can post your job to 100-plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter,

all with a single click. Find candidates in any city or industry nationwide. Just post once, and watch your qualified candidates roll into ZipRecruiter's easy-use interface. No juggling emails or call to your office. Quickly screen candidates, rate them and hire the right person fast. No drama. You don't want to turn this into a lifetime to hire an employee.

Find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by over 1 million businesses. And right now, my listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter, for free. Gratis by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. Again, that's ziprecruiter. Dot com slash church. One more time for free. You can put your, right now, one more time.

Go, I don't know what the fuck. One more time to try for free. Go to zip recruiter. Dot com slash church. All right. That's it. That's it. And that's that.

I hear people getting great results with ZipRecruiter. One more time from my main producer of the church, honor.com. Go there, look at the nice supplements they got, pressing church. Don't forget, sociably unacceptable gets released December 8 on CISOTV. Go to CISOTV.com. Logging your email, all that stuff, and your code is Joey, J-O-E-Y. Once again, I want to thank MVMT watch. is a tremendous Christmas present.

I want to thank ZipRecruiter, post your job listing on there, and I want to thank Audit one more time for sticking with us since day one and also C-Syso, and also my main man over here. Yeah. Dean Dell motherfucking Rizzy.

And he's going to be, Joey's going to be on my podcast next Monday, and we'll be talking about it special because I want to talk about that. Sure. It'll be awesome. Talk about the process of shooting that and everything. It was very fucking.

interesting. Yeah, so we'll talk about that Monday. Let there be talk. You're beautiful brother. I love you, dude. Thank you. I love you, motherfuckers. See you on Tuesday night, Wednesday morning. Stay black. Stay healthy. Don't forget Portland, Oregon, Thursday night. 8 o'clock, no fucking around. Have a great weekend. Have a great week so far. Bye. This show was presented by On It. This show was also brought to you by MVMT watches. Go to mvmptwashes.com slash church to get 15% off of your order, and they're also going to offer you free shipping and free returns. They're offering you a great price with watches starting at just $95, where at department stores you'll be paying between $4 to $500 at least. Go to mvmtw watches.com slash church to save 15% off of those already great price.

This show was also brought to you by ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter is a site for you to find your perfect hire. You can post your job to 100 plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, all in a single click. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash church right now to post jobs on ZipRecruiter.com. on ZipRecruiter for free. I'm too stoned to be doing podcasts at this age.