The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #438 - Bas Rutten

Episode Date: December 12, 2016

Bas Rutten, former UFC Heavyweight Champ, 3-time King Of Pancrase world champion, and co-host of the "Rutten and Ranallo" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Indochino - Go to Indochino.com and use code "church" at checkout to get any premium suit for only $389 (thats 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit) and shipping is free.  Lyft - Sign up to drive at Lyft.com/joey and get a $500 new driver bonus. Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 2 months free. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water. Recorded live on 12/11/2016.
  

The Church of What's Happening Now is presented by On It. B'days are back. The Church of what's happening now is thrilled to introduce you to hellotushy.com. Hellotushy.com makes portable devices that spray your butt clean with water. Go to hellotushy.com slash church right now to get 10% off of your order. That's hellotushi.com slash church. Show is also brought to you by Indochino. Indochino is one of the largest,

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and sign up today. What? I get my adrenaline going. Kick that fucking mulee. I ain't got time to fuck around. It's Monday, December 12th. 13 days away from the big day.

12 days away from fucking Hanukkah. Mr. Churchill, what's happening now? Mr. Boss Routin. Yeah. My little Jewish gumbah, Lee Syatt. Hello. And I'm your uncle Joey.

Kick that me a little leaf. I want to hear that motherfucker. Oh shit. Shit. Are you kidding me? Or what? Twelve days away. And you'll be sitting around with your family, with your finger up your ass,

looking around the room going, all year for this. This is what the fuck I work all year for. To be sitting with these people, these fucking kids. I should be in the strip club, people's titties on my head. Fuck Santa. Boss Rutan in the motherfucking house.

How crazy is that? It's been in the making for a while here. Yes, it has. I'm happy you're on. Yeah, me too, man. One of your biggest friends. Do you have any children, brother? I do.

I have three girls, three daughters. How old? A 27-year-old. She just had a baby tomorrow. He's one years old. God bless you. Scott, yeah, and then have a 20 and a 15-year-old. How many guys did you knock out along the way?

No, you know, I did threaten, but I never knocked anybody out yet. What a fucking nightmare is to have daughters. You know, I know, but the good thing in my school or in my city, Rutan is an unusual name here, right? So it has always, and I always tell my daughters, don't say anything. There's always a teacher who goes, Rutan, by any chance related to boss Routen, and I go, yeah, that's my dad. Oh, is you a day?

Okay, guys, can I have your attention? Watch out with this girl, you know, and that solves the problem. That's it. Yeah. But the way they connect to you and rip your fucking lung out. Like this morning there was drama in my house because she didn't want to, she didn't want to say the prayers or for anybody to say prayers at the table. So you can't eat till you say prayers. If you eat, bach, go to the room.

Oh, she's three and a half. She's going to be four in one fucking month. I was just going to ask. All right. So today, finally, a quarter of the fucking 10. She's out there praying, you know, because my wife goes, you're not going to wear this dress for church.

You know, we're not going to go to church. If you don't, she went out there, she prayed. Now, I usually don't go to this church. I'm a fucking Catholic. This is some fucking studio city church. A lot of kids, Gentiles, they walk around, whatever. I go. Today she's in the pageant.

Oh, so I go. I put the suit on. I bust out the whole fucking. deal. My wife's like, where are you putting a suit on? People aren't going to wear a suit. I go, you know why? I wanted to know that we dressed up. We had made the fucking effort. These are little things I tell people that you don't know when you're fucking 20 that you come and go, you know what? This is how I got to act around her. We take her there. First of all I parked the car, I walk up and there's my wife. I go, where's the fucking kid? She goes, they took her. That's it.

They're downstairs rehearsing. Whatever the fuck they do. Like, all right. You know me. She's getting molested. In the back of my mind, I'm like, the fucking, that's, that's a lot. dirty motherfuckers got it down there giving a bill cosby pills rubbing her feet and shit really this is what my head goes i don't trust none of those motherfuckers you do know that you have to you have to you have to because if not when she is 13 and she is telling you at the past finger banged it you'll go wow i thought you were downstairs rehearsing so in my perverted mind i'm like she's getting finger banged downstairs but i don't want to say that to my wife because my wife's a gentile and he'll break her heart i go and i play along at first i can't hear so i

get anxiety in a church. They're singing fucking songs and they're talking whatever. There's a guitar in there with a piano. The guy had to be 90. Boss, the guy playing the guitar had to be fucking 90. I had to get up. I was high. I had to get up and look over. He wouldn't even, he'd play a chord

and he'd pass out. And he'd wake up and get to play another court and pass out for another minute. It's the best thing if you're 90. You can do anything you want. Fucking 90. First of what, we're in the car and I'm like, you know what? I didn't get high. Hold on to her. I wore the wrong shoes. What are you talking about? I shot out to that fucking backyard, and I blasted off two pipefuls of debt.

I took some listerine, some mint, and I drank some fucking diet soda just to kill. I have no cologne. I don't use cologne. And if you're a man and you lose cologne, I got to shoot you. Yeah, I never use it. I'm a fucking cologne. If you don't think shower, I was a wash your pussy. Your dick's got to smell like your dick or if not, that's it.

So I run back out. I get in the fucking car. I park. I run in. I know I'm reeking a reef, but I got a suit on and nobody thinks it's me. You look like a gangster there, too. Yeah, when you have a suit on, you reek a reef, and nobody thinks it's you. Yeah, I think it's a kid behind you.

Plus, it took you 10 minutes to change your shoes, didn't your wife? Oh, no, no. I smoke three bowls in two minutes. You know me, though. I'm a prisoner of war. I'm Cuban. I know how to smoke in quick situations. I even smoked the pipe underwater one time.

You understand? Ask me later. Fucking, I get into church. I'm high as fuck. Boss, water is settling in my ear. It's not coming out. So they got me an antibiotics and some steroids. I'm on the last one tonight.

But in a week, if I can't hear, they're going to put slits under my ear to drain my fucking ears. Oh, wow. And it's killing me when I go to Jiu-Jitsu because you having bad cardio or smoking too much that your cardio's fucked up. That's one thing.

But when you got ear plugs on and you can hear your fat little heart pumping. Oh, don't hold that. Pumping. And I got to take them out to listen to the guy and then I got to put him back in. And at night, you get to wear these things at night? When I shower.

That's a nightmare. Because you go to sleep, you hear yourself the whole time. Well, no, I don't put them on at night. Oh, because we're driving nuts. No, I put them on when I take a shower. Okay. And I put them on in jiu-jitsu because the sweat goes in my ear. Oh, wow.

Okay. I just realize why I feel funky. Yeah. After like a couple minutes, I feel funky, bro. A jihitsu. What is this? When he goes, put plugs in there. The water is settling in there.

So, I can't. can't hear so it plays out when I'm in a big place and you have music on now it feels weird so now I'm in this church and there's no adults on the stage there's a bunch of kids singing I don't know what my fucking daughter is right I don't see my daughter they go be the tree right they got it they got it they got it they got it downstairs they really caused me that right they gave her the catholic pedophile smoke that pedophile smoke they gave in catholic church and quail ludes and that's your first thought oh the dog you have to go there because if not what the fuck was my kid I don't say this to my wife I don't worry and I can't act like a gorilla so I just don't

say nothing and all of a bunch of girls come out dressed up like fucking like uh angels yeah they have little things like Jewish things but they're long and white I don't know like oh they were lamps oh that's what they were fucking lamps okay no big deal they come in I'm looking for my little fucking angel and there she is right on the corner facing me. Now, you know what, man, people always go, that's your daughter. Why? Because she looks like me. Come to the house. I got a dog that looks like me too. You know what I'm saying? Who gives the fuck? People can look like each other. Today was one of the first times I go,

that's my daughter. Yeah. And that's why she scares me. Yep. That's why I'm petrified. You know why? Because every kid was at attention. My daughter was doing the same shit I do on stage. What is that? I move from side to side. Oh, yeah? You know, when I'm on a set in between takes, I sit on that mark,

but I move from, I drive directors' craze. Oh, yeah? And she was doing that. And not only that, she was on an angle. So basically she was telling, and I could see the fucking dummy that does this,

that was too serious about her job. These are four-year-olds. She's out there like child, house and throwing fucking fingers. And smiling, I'm like, oh, this thing. Even my daughter, I saw my daughter look at it one time, like, what the fuck? And then my daughter looked at me, and when my daughter said I was up there, she was like, smiled at me, but then she'd pay attention and do a thing.

But the beauty of it was she never stayed on her mark. She always stayed on an angle sideways. And the whole time she went from side to side. And even when the other kids were standing like zombos, she would move up with her hands, like a real dove, like an angel or whatever the fuck she was doing. I'm like, you know what? It's crazy. Yeah.

bitch is on to something. I like it. She's on to something, my little flower of love. I don't want to do it and stand-up. But number one, just that rock got me, my heart. Like, it just twisted me because that's my daughter. Yep. That's it.

My mom had the same thing. We can't, when I was 18, people always go, do you never stand still? Yeah, I have the same thing. People go, what the fuck? And my friend, who's a dear friend now, when I was, when we were at that age, she'd always go, someday you're going to have a fucking kid, and she's going to, or he's going to annoy you the way you annoy the fuck out of people with that constant movement. I couldn't sit still.

You know, I couldn't sit still. And look, I am paying for my sins now today. You know, but it's good. You know, you came out good, right? Not really. I conduct her. That's what they call that, right? Conductor, yeah. They're four-year-olds and she thinks she's fucking radio studio music.

Do it with two feathers, you know, make it a happy thing or do something else. Yeah. Lee, what's up with you, Tarzan? You got the Shugnadi shirt and Shug Nights shirt on today again? I got to represent the Shugna. You went to visit your cousin in jail? Look at you. No, I just, you know what, boss?

I'm new to this whole world. So I honestly just spent a little bit of time looking you up. Oh, shit. Okay. You knew what whole world, Lee? What whole world you knew, though? You have MMA, all that. And it was just...

Listen, you're Jewish. Your people invented this whole fucking thing. You guys invented Kroft. You went and fucked the Chinese people. They taught your Kung Fu. You taught them Krav Maga. Tell them, boss. These guys, they're under attack 24-7, so they have the best system down.

They really have. I mean, the women go in the army there. I mean, you better watch out. You know, that's some Kravagma-M-Gyms that, like my buddy, Amir Peretz. He's probably the best guy out there. You know, I introduced him to the guys from sports science, right? Because I did a few bar-fighting things for them and kicking things. and see how much a pound I can hit and all that stuff.

And then they asked me about weapons. If I could do that, I say, yeah, I can do it. But, you know, I can put you in contact with my buddy. This guy's going to blow you away. And so I put him in contact. I knew they were going to shoot around 1 o'clock. And I got 1.15. The director is calling me.

And I pick up. And the thing I say is, he's freaking you out, right? And he goes, where did you find this guy? You know how I met this guy? I came to America. I'm here for like three weeks of going out. he approaches me, he is in a bar and he goes, man, we watch all your fights

from pancras, we watch it here on a pay-per-view. Are you teaching anywhere? I say, yeah, I'm teaching at the Beverly Hills Jizzer Club. Okay, so I gave him the days, and he's coming right away. The first day, I'm teaching, he's there. So he comes in, he watches the whole class. All my students are there. And at the end of the class, he said, man, that was unbelievable.

Thank you so much for letting me watch. Can I show you what I do? I'm sure, you know. So he gets his back, opens it up, and he gets like a fake knife out, and he's got this this this this wooden gun and and some i you know what i said don't worry about it i said leave it in the bag i'm not i'm not really into that because what do you mean i say i've seen a thousand times man this is it's such a dangerous stuff it needs to be good and otherwise it's not going to

work so that don't worry about it so he goes okay and he goes into his bag and he starts looking and he gets a pelagon and he loads the pelagon and he gives it to me and he says why don't you shoot me if you see me move and i excuse me so now the whole class it's not what did he just I say, yeah, but he said, you got to be, you know, you got to be nice, only when you see me move. Don't point and shoot right away. I go, okay, six times. Six times I was not able to hit him to connect. And six times he had my gun within in a second.

I'm hit and he has my gun and he's at the distance. So I brought him in contact with that guy. They measured it 200s of a second. He took the gun away. If you see it in slow motion, you literally see a redirecting, grabbing the gun. then he hits the guy in the face. As soon as he pulls his punch back, then you see the bullet go out from the guy

who's pulling the trigger. I mean, it goes so fast. You know, so, and this guy, you have a whole bunch of those there in Israel. You know, the Mossad. I mean, these guys are high-level guys. They're updating. It's constantly renewing.

It's not a system like karate or any other sport that you say, no, Yit Kundo. That was the only one that was evolving the whole time because he knew it was going to evolve. And that's the same with Krav Maga. You know, in the beginning, you know, there was a certain defense for a gun.

Or you can't do it anymore because if you do it this way, there was a guy who broke his finger and then his finger wrapped around you couldn't take the gun away. I go, who finds that out? Well, they find that out in real life and then they adjust,

they make it better. They make sure that never happen again. Yeah, but it happened only once. Yeah, well, could be alive one time, right? So that's the great thing about Kroft Kahn. Now, of course, there's bad schools out there as well. You know, people ask me all the time about Krofmke. I say, just Google.

You know, Google and reviews, read reviews. But, you know, Croft McGowan worldwide, that seems to me, it's a really good organization. They're on the Olympic Boulevard. Right. I know somewhere down there. I was used to pass them on my way home. The way I send you, I think, a couple weeks ago when you were stuck in Santa Monica, that was, it's right there on Olympic right before the 405. But what I wanted to ask you, boss, or, like, I was watching your highlights, and I was amazed at all the kicks.

Like, you just don't really see that much now. And we saw it last night with Cowboy. but why do you think more people don't you? Why do you think it's such an amazing tool for you that more people aren't using? Because I don't really think you see that many kicks. You know, it was, first of all, your legs are longer than your arms. So, you know, I know the guy's a good striker. I'm a better kicker, you know, so then I just keep him away with my legs.

The thing is, though, you need to be powerful. You know, the thing you hear me say for the last eight or nine years on inside of MMA, single kicks, never throw a single kick. and every, we get highlights from around the world, every single week for 433 shows we did, that people get knocked out because they throw a single kick, you know, because it's easy to stop and to counter right away. So don't do that, set it up with punches,

unless you can kick really freaking hard, like a Mirko Crokeup or like a Jose Aldo. When you kick somebody really hard to the head, you force them to defend with everything he's got, and that will buy you a little bit of time so you can get out of the way for the counter. But if you just throw a kickout, inside low kick if they stand in one line like the blading position which is still till this day can't understand

they do it in mixed martial arts even in the tieboxing i don't get it and in boxing i mean i always looked at mike thysen but if they stand in that one blading line there's no way they can generate power with their inside low kicks so i say why would you even bother of moving away from that loki the guy's going to hurt your skin that's about it he's going to stretch his leg take the kick knock him out i mean it's as easy as that but people all the time they need to block these kicks you know I was some I was it with um George and Pierre uh oh man Jake Shields Jake Shields and George and Pierre Jake was throwing the inside low kicks but they have absolutely no power on him and George every time when he threw him he jumped back like he let him miss like it then we're

going to decapitate his leg I go just take take the kick take the kick and you know trade it for a right straight cross you take the kick by moving into it which hey look at this I automatically load up you know anything you have to do stretch your arm You can rotate your help of body. You got even more power. So that's the thing with kicks. If you can kick hard, if you can use your legs well, you know, and you have a guy who's better with his hands,

I would say use kicks, keep him away from you. And that's the thing that I noticed is, you know, the only knockouts that you really see with punches are like people getting knocked out or maybe sometimes it's like they're not protecting themselves and then the ref stops it. A couple times in recent memory and on yours, they're just so hurt

that they just stop, like the fight stops they're not knocked out, but when you get kicked in the stomach, they just are in such pain. That's crazy. You know, my, by everybody's asking me, because I'm known for body shots. For the left hook to the body, left kick, left knee. I mean, I knocked a lot of guys out with that, but

the way I became a lover of that is my first high boxing class. I got knocked out by it. You know, I was a badass karate. You know, black belt came in, tore my whole gym up, and then I went to tieboxing. And I thought that, you know, I was a badass. But against a professional tie boxer, turned out I was not, you know.

And he started, my hands were low because of the karate, was not allowed to punch to the head. So your hands are not next to your jaw. So what happens is as soon as they hit your head, you're going to have to overcomit to the defending because you're further away from your face. So you have to throw it up with a paddock reaction, so to say. But if you do that, yeah, automatically you expose your body. And of course, this guy being the professional knew that. And he dropped me right away, man.

It was the worst thing ever. Being on my knee never experienced anything like that. But that was, okay, I got to know this. You know, that's cool. I've always, I didn't know this. When I got older, no, no, no, no. When I was young, I knew this Cuban guy defected. They used to go to my mom's bar.

He drove like a car or something. It wasn't a big drinker. And one day he talked to me, but he spoke to me about boxing as a science. Yeah. You know, he was a science. And years later, I read something from Bill Wallace, Superfoot. I love him. And he was talking.

And I read this article about Bill in Black Belt, maybe like in 70s when Bruce Lee, after Bruce Lee died, there was this big phenomenon in this country. And he spoke about it like a science. And there really is. There really is a science to kicking and punching. You know, when you go to karate, I went to goju karate.

You know, Rashad? Yeah, yeah. What's his not Rashad? Rasad. Eddie Bravo. He's black. Yeah. Yeah.

Dad was my first karate teacher when I came from Cuba. Oh, really? Tell me it's not a small fucking world. That is the craziest thing ever. I got beat up at Central Park. I got stitches. Two days later, I want to show it up. It was in all black school, black ghee, fist.

Yep. Everybody was black. He'd make you run the streets barefoot with the ghee on and the center. You had to run by the park where you hung in front of him. That's bad. The next day when you went to school, those guys were like, oh, you're a karate man. Shows me what you got and shit.

So I went to all those little tournaments, and you learned this karate, but you never spoke about range. You never spoke about anything. Then I got into whatever. I got into, I quit when I was 15. And then when I got into comedy, I always knew that if I trained in a martial art, it would help my comedy.

So I got into Tang Sudo, the Suboac Doe, Boulder. That's what there was at the time. And it was a lot of kicks And I enjoyed it I did it for about three years Moved out here didn't do dick Got back into Subbock though That was I moved to the valley

And that was fucked So I went over here I never kicked boxed They said over here There's a bunch of great little old schools around here And there's one place of America And I stayed there for about six months Until I got knee surgery

And I learned a world in there Like he spoke about things I had never heard in karate. Yep. But the guy who really put me over the top, when I lived in Hollywood, I'd go over there twice a week, black dude. Earl, him and his brother, had studied from those,

the father-son team, that they're from Hawaii, Japanese Hawaiian dudes. The son is the host of Iron Chef. Oh, wait. Yes. Mark is a one guy. The Cascas. Yeah, yeah, the Cossus.

Yeah, yeah. He lives in my town. His father had a school in Denver. Now, here I am living in Boulder. I was a criminal in Boulder, you know, and I got locked up, then I came out, and got married. So I stayed there for a while, and then I started training,

and those guys would always talk about these two black dudes from Denver. And I never looked into it. You know, there was no computer. There was the yellow pages, and they weren't going to tell you there were two black dudes from Denver. It's not the name of the country.

karate school, you know what's the dude's name? I don't know, it's two black dudes from Denver. So how funny is that? Those two black dudes from Denver have a school in Vermont. And when I found out, I used to go over on Tuesday when I was 418 pounds. You were 418 pounds. When I did the longest yard. Oh, man.

I was 390 when I did the longest yard, 380. Wow. And that was probably August. And after the longest yard, I kept those habits. pastrami sandwiches you know what I'm saying yeah well okay well how what age was that

what no one what age you started you getting that big that I mean the four and I came here when I graduated high school I was 197 and then for about five 10 years when I got locked up I was at 2.18

2.15 2.18 so the food was good there no no no no no you know what I stayed What I'm saying to you is I graduated in 82. And by the time I kept lifting, lifting, lifting, lifting. And I started, when I moved to Colorado, I started squatting. I never squatting before. I always lifted and did like leg presses.

But when I moved to Colorado, my roommates had gone to Brown. They were all power lifters. They were eating D-ball and fucking Annabaw. And shooting fucking gorilla juice and shit. But I don't like needles. I would faint. And I always said, what's the use? Yeah.

So they taught me how the deadlift, how to squat, and that's when I really got. I didn't know nothing about that world. Nothing. They had built all the machines downstairs. They were like, no dead bent over rows. We don't do curls here. We don't do none of that shit.

Yeah. We do cleans, presses, squats, and deadlifts. That's how they measure each other. So who's the top of stuff? What do you bench? No, they wouldn't even bench. They did a lot of isometrics. One thing they did,

those days that we did isometrics before and a ton afterward. But they always believed that coach was Ira Wolf, who was my high school coach, who coached in the Olympics in 76. So a guy was legit. A little dude that went from, he was amazing in high school. He would go from D-Ball to HIV and back to D-Ball.

It is so bad for you, too, man. So stupid. So that's where I got little, I went up to about 220, 218, and I stayed up that. And then I got locked up, and I went to 235. But I was hitting a bag. I was fucking running. I got into swimming.

Before I got locked up, I got into swimming. I joined the master's swimming program. Two classes, 5 a.m. or 6 a. Oh, I thought that was it. No, they don't fuck around, dog. The chick was a triathlete from Hawaiian. She was Hawaii. So half the year, she would train in Boulder for the altitude

and because they love the sun. Yeah. But what the fuck? Hawaii got a lot of sun too. Yeah. And then she would go down there and train ocean. So she used to, those six months she was in Boulder. Dog, it would snow, okay?

Yeah. The winter, because it was outside. Oh, yeah. It would snow, two feet of snow. They would shovel a path from the dressing room to the pool. The pool would just be steaming. And there'd still be 90 motherfuckers in there. 90 motherfuckers.

in there'd be 10 lanes five people a fucking lane and five weight they jump in because there's a class at six wow but she put you through hell you know she did a oh swimming is good two a ball between your legs do 20 pulling yeah and then come back and put the fucking carry the thing and then do 20 laps of kick and then put it all together then come back take a minute rest and do 440s

back and forth 18 to I could you know yeah it was a man when I walked in there boss she said let me watch you swim the first time I started swimming and I woke up and I hit the wall and say okay we got to start slow with you and for a week she made me just go like this and kick against the wall yeah and she goes I'm not going to let you in the class until you could shoot all the way up she taught me the exact science of the leg and why it should be like that sometimes I jump in a pool and I'm swimming first two minutes I know I'm fucking up and it all comes back to you know what I increased my swim and I could see it How I'm digging still.

I see you do that now. You know those moves, but it is. Somebody told me that as well. I had no clue, but it's so much technique. Everything is technique. You know what? After a certain age, you realize everything is technique. I was on Joe's podcast, not this time, but the time before.

I'm talking about pitching, people who have the ability to pitch. And I learned this at a young age. I used to go to Joe Namath football camp. When Joe Namath was in the height of being Joe Namath, he had a football camp in New York. Did I learn to be a quarterback? No. But you always learn one thing

and know it's Basz Ruhunton. Let me tell you how brilliant he was. When you walk into Joe Namath's camp, there was a bunch of white dudes. Hey, how are you doing? Yeah, great to be here. You're like, where's Joe? And you're like, where's Joe?

And they're like, well, give us 15 minutes. All of a sudden they line you up. Boss Routen, yell your hand, here. Lee Sallat, here, Joe Diaz, here. And then Joe Namath will come out. And he'll give a speech, what you expects from me the whole week. but the first thing they did,

and I never followed this two years later was they make you go to your room, put shorts on a t-shirt, everybody got tests for the 40. Yeah. Whether you were a lineman, a punter, he goes, I want to show you guys something. And he would test you on the 40,

and then after that, they wrote it down. Everybody got on the line, and the guy would work with you. I mean, from A to Z. Boom, boom, boom, your step, your neck, your breathing, your shoulders, how they should move. He did that for five days straight. For those next five days, Monday through Friday, from 7.30 to 8, that's all you worked on.

He called it Sprint Movement of 19- fucking 78 for all you. Well, we came up with that. And he called it Sprint Movement. He broke down the sprint, the movement of the elbow, how high the elbows should go up. How high the elbow should go. Yeah. I remember this in the eighth grade. The knee, the body, when should it pull back,

that your thing is like a sail. I mean, I can't, you know, I'm a fat fuck now. I ain't running no 40s. But by the end of the week, you made you run the 40, and you would go, what happened? Yep. Your time would go crazy. Did you get faster?

No. He taught you technique, and he taught you efficiency. Yep. And the same is with everything. That's the same with everything. With everything. Always get the pro right away, man. if you go, if you want to learn

some friend of mine always does the same thing. You need to do, how you call it a yo-yo. There was his part. He's an actor. Holt McAllen. He's got this new show on Netflix. Now he's going to come out Mind Hunter with what's his name? Fincher, David Finch. Really?

Yeah, he's doing this show $10 million an episode. He's the lead guy of the actor. But anyway, he had to do this yo-yo thing. And he just hired right away the world champion yo-yo. And you should see him within four weeks the things that he was doing. And I guarantee you if you go just to a regular Joe, he's not,

but if you have the guy who knows how to tap into you and to say, no, no, no, this is the reason why you do it. That's why I like enjoy teaching so much. I always go back to the basics and people, they say, yeah, but it's always the basics. And this example I use many times. I had a guy in my class who stopped me after the class. He said, boss, you know what's funny? I say, yeah.

Tell me. And he said, you're doing, we've been doing the same stuff for like three years in a row as long as I've been here, I go, yeah. I say, you know, was even more funny? And he goes, no, I say, you're still not doing it correctly. And he looked at me, I go, that's why we have to do it. Because everybody forgets the basics. But once I go into my spiel, where the power comes from,

and I show you why it comes from there, it blows you. You go right away, why nobody ever told me that before? You know, but it's just thinking about it and finding a way to tap in. And if you, you know, with that swimming, you guys didn't even run, probably, right? just did the technique with the technique with the technique with the technique you see and that already made you better and he at the end of the week everybody left there i remember being on the bus home with four of us me chucky mcbrine and his brother and we go how that's amazing that we went in there

four point nine who the fuck knew what it was then and all of a sudden you're 4.75 or something you're like what happened yeah he taught you how to run then i remember going back the next year i beat it again I beat the record before because he gave you homework to do He goes do three of the You know it's just really So with pitching it's the same thing If I pitch right now and it's 32 miles an hour

Once I go to the pitching guys And we go hold on let's do these exercises real quick Warm up the eye Loose and the tendon You have a tendon back here That if it's not loose It takes 10 miles an hour off your thing Meanwhile you're sitting there like fucking

What happened to my arm And also it'll go with the technique again And how it should come up over your ear ear and all that stuff. And that's where you get your power from, but the power still comes from the hip. Yep. That's what we're talking about. That's still, you know, and then it's this hip. Yep. Yeah, the opposite hip.

It's the opposite hip for baseball. How fucking crazy is that? Because you're throwing it back? You're throwing it. Yeah, see? I'm here, and I have to lift. Yeah. Unless you saw our man, Louis Tiant, over there in Boston, he turned his whole fucking body around. Yeah. You know, that's... Burt Blyleva. You know that guy? Blylebe.

Yeah, he's Dutch. He's a Dutch pitcher here. He did very well. He did very well. Yeah, I heard. He's in the Hall of Fame. So, yeah, that's cool. They had this five years ago, and I felt so horrible about everything.

The best male athletes from the Netherlands, they put me a number two. And I go like, there's no way, like these soccer players, you want Krive. Everybody was behind me like a gold medalist, you know. I felt so horrible, but Bear Blylever. He's the pitcher. He was the number one guy. Apparently, he had an unbelievable career. Yeah, we don't have in Holland. We don't have that. You maybe have three clubs.

Baseball, yeah, maybe now more, but it's never been big in Holland. Now, I'm going to ask you simple questions, but I just don't fucking know that I want to ask you. In Holland, why is it so well known for the kickboxing there? I never knew these things. I've just heard a little, and you got to make believe like you know, oh, really, you got to make a good line. Why is it? Because we just had guys. It started with Jan Plus.

Young Plus was from Mengho, Jim, had Rob Cayman, all these guys at the time, Milo L. Goebly. I mean, they had a team, which was an unbelievable team. They would go to Thailand and they beat the ties. And everybody, how is this possible? What they did, they tied the hands together with the legs. The ties at that time, and still now a lot,

you know, they mostly kick each other, back and forth, back and forth. Now, since that whole thing started happening, and Robin Decker's once he started going to Thailand, just destroying people. It was because he has great hands and legs, and he tied them together. Samart, one of the most famous guys ever in Thailand.

He was also a WBO boxing guy. He had that also. He had the hands and the legs together. So we grew up with that. I remember a show we had with Rob Cayman. It was a big Rob Cam and Fenthaly. He's a good friend of me now of mine. But we had the show there were four world title fights

in Holland that they broadcasted a lot. broadcasted live to Thailand we fought four world champions in Thailand they all got knocked out at night in Holland I mean that that never happened again they never wanted to repeat it for some reason the Dutch really like their striking but you know with us you have soccer skating but you know after that's probably tieboxing I mean every week there's fights everywhere so people just enjoy punching kicking I guess so that's I thought that you were gonna tell me well no back in the Vikings days. It was his Viking name Raw.

No, no, no, no. And he knew what a kickbox. He took a sailboat. He broke his ex. And then he went to the Nail one. I love all that type of stuff. You know, the type of like, you know, the sky went and developed it. Now, you said something before.

You said something about a lower leg kick. Is it a lower leg kick and a higher leg kick? No, no, no, no. Just a low kick. But, you know, some people, what they do nowadays, they kick also below the knee, you know, which is, you know, could be dangerous. If, for instance, my stance...

Inside of the calf. Yeah, because there's the tibula. You have the fibula, the tibula, the tibula is a little thinny bone. I might flip it around right now. But anyway, that bone can be broken. You know, I think Pitbull, Frerry, you know, against Bansen-Handerson, when he got kicked there, he broke that bone. Okay, that's true. And fight was over.

Now, my stance is a different stance. Like, I'm standing right in front of you. So if I lift my leg, if you kick me a low kick, you're going to keep my shin, you need. But if I blade, if I stand. stand in one line with both feet, yeah, then they got a nice little cushion there, which is your calf. They can kick her out. Another great thing for that is, of course, balance. If you kick lower on the leg, of course, you're going to move this guy.

You know, so like you see John Jones also using it, you know, it's all very smart. You know, you bring your opponent off balance. And if he's off balance, he can't counter. He might counter, but not with a strong punch. So you can capitalize on that. I always thought that, you know, on paper, I don't want you to think. I'm fucking crazy. On paper, I thought the old school

Kempo guys were really good at that of going in, but before attacking the body, they would throw a leg kick, a very inside kind of of an explosion leg kick to throw your attention off and then get you 15 fucking times.

Nobody really does that in the UFC. No, there's not a lot of great, there's a lot of good strikers, but great ones, they're still hard to find. But you know, it's like anything else. You know, yesterday, Charlo and, what was it, Molina. Was it him? No, no, no, no.

There was a different. Anyway, there was a boxer there. Molina. I know his name is Molina. But, you know, he was very wild. To me, he was very wild. So there's always differences in just in anything. Some guys are just, they win because they have a lot of heart.

They can take a lot of punches, a lot of shots, and they have great stamina. And they're very hard to beat, you know. But when you see them, they're not as technical as other guys. And then you have other guys, like in Lomachenko. I don't know if you saw him three weeks ago, box. No. Dude, he's probably the best boxer out there right now, pound for pound. I barely have enough time for fucking the UFC.

You know, I caught a half a fight of Bellator, yeah, and I almost jumped out the window. Because I don't know when the fuck Bellator's on. Yeah. Belator is like one of the other, we've interrupted your television. That's Bellator to me. I never see fucking Bellator. He said, you want Belator last night? What is it on?

Friday, Saturdays, I don't know. So I barely got time for the UFC. What was today? Sunday? How much football did I watch today? Staminkia. That's how much football. Yeah, but we don't have time for that anymore.

It's just like... I haven't for 50, 20 years. To get serious, you... Yeah, you're going to have to give up some things. You're going to give some things up. Yeah. Boxing, I grew up on Duran and Benito, Alfredo Benitez and all those guys.

You know, Aaron Pryor, you know, life happens and you lose. Then I got back into it with Tyson. You know, I lived with a Coke dealer. The night Tyson locked out, the guy with no Tide's brother, Leon Springs' brother. Oh, yeah? We were all pissed off because it was going to go 15 rounds. I could rob him, steal some more rocks and shit. They went fucking 10 seconds.

There I was. I was done. Leon, I met Leon in the Ukraine, a good guy. Very funny. Yeah, everybody says really funny. Yeah, you almost can't understand what he says. they said you know if he's drunk it's actually is your friend hey man what's i'm doing what i was that yeah yeah it's like almost like yeah james brown like everything he said

but uh that's you know you it's not that you lose interest it's just your computer has so much fucking uh what's that when people what's the space hard drive yeah your hard drive yeah your hard drive there's so much fucking space you got to say it in english because apparently that works for apple if it's english actions it's smarter your hard drive only has so much space avoid and it's there and you remember it but it's not really fucking active you're trying to pay a house you got a child you got a career you're working on you got a right joke you're trying to write this you're trying to write that so I love sports it's just when the fuck you know I forgot the UFC was

even out last night you know I did I just started with with Morrow right we have the Ruderunella show but we just started like this is number five we had yesterday we is this combat sports So we talk about all the fights this weekend and about the fights coming up. And then you realize how much work it is. I mean, I have to watch all these fights. I have to break down all the fights from next week. Like this week, there were three boxing shows on.

And then you have the UFC on Friday, the UFC on Saturday. There's Bellator. And there was glory kickboxing. And we talk about everything. So I'm going to, you know, your family life in the weekend. It's a very hard thing because you're going to have to watch. You have to watch the fights. Otherwise you can't talk about it.

I can't sit there for that long. my back I gotta move the great thing is you know once you record everything you can fast forwards through the openings and all that stuff I got 45 minutes at me now I got like 45 minutes in me now watching yeah and I gotta get up and I gotta get up and walk around and like a watch something else again I got lay on my stomach for a while I can't know more those days are open what you need what you need is you know and and and I have no clue why we don't see them as much anymore but I had one of those glasses when I went to japan even It was like around 2003 glasses that you hook into your player.

And then you can, you watch TV. It's like you have this giant screen in front of you because it's against your eyes and you can just watch TV. So then you can watch it everywhere. Now with Netflix on your phone, you can sit somewhere at the doctor's office. You put the shades on and you can watch show. With no fucking glasses on, right, bus room. Hey, listen, you can watch anything you want.

The last thing. Did you see a report that came out with Thursday on World News tonight? lazy people are going to fucking die. Yeah, but don't drive a car. I'm just saying... No, lazy people are going to fucking die. Oh, of course. Binge watching, you're going to die.

They were saying that you're going to die a young fucking age. It's bad for you. I always believe that shit's bad for you. You don't want to least glass. I don't want to watch dick. If I got to put glasses on and connect it to my phone, that's why I don't smoke... What's that shit they smoke with the stone?

I got to get a blow torch at the house? Dabs. That's too much commitment. that's a little too much commitment you know what I'm saying rolling papers weed the lighter I'm in a pipe

once I gotta bring a blow torch in to do something for my for my how does that work what do you mean is it like dabber like shatter or what does that do you make a stone hot

how do you smoke shatter you know it depends what you have there you have these pants right you have the pan and you know there's a little little thing and you put a little dab of it and then you that's it

and you smoke okay yeah I can live with that Yeah, that's an easy one. But that was a stone. I never heard of that. Right. There's a stone. Our friends that...

Nailed a life. Nailed their life. Our brothers. I love those dudes. But whenever they show up, they show up heavy dude. They don't even smoke weed no more. They break out of stone. And it's like a piece of wax paper.

You think you're back in the 70s and you got fucking... The old, old, old school coakers used to use wax papers and shit. And, you know, it's like this fucking thing. thing and they blow torch the thing and you put it on top of it and then you have to hit it with a fucking straw and hold it.

It didn't do much work? What did we do? You were there that night when your head almost blew up when Desiree was there. We walked out of the improv. How did we smoke it? How did we smoke it? I thought that was just a regular dab rig

with like they had like a little torch in the car. I've never, this one and I have never seen. This one sounds crazy. That was the one. then it's so good that I forgot about it. Yeah, that night, I remember I hadn't smoked.

And I went in there. I was trying not to smoke. And I came out, and they had dabs. I swear to God, about it's rooting. I thought I was going to die. Speaking of the dying, this is the last star of death. Oh, my God, are you serious? It was a big week, you know what I'm saying?

It's the week just started. Give me a little, I'll take a little piece off. It's 12 days. There's no way I can do this. It's 12 days till Yom Kippoor, you know what I'm saying? You know, Lisa. I would never, that one's got a tale. That's how much I love you, Lisa.

What's Tony Bennett? Don't make believe like you don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart. Look at poor Lee.

He's about to puke. You just see this face. Oh, yeah. Look at what, 12 stars? Who gives a fuck? It's the Lord's Day, Jack. I can't travel. I'm like, I don't, you can't spell my name.

Perfect. Yeah. Perfect. That's how you want to travel anyway. Who wants to, listen, traveling and being, I can't fall asleep on a plane because I have sleep at me.

But on JetBlue. blue mint. I could plug that bitch in, put my little gas mask on and shit, I believe I'm in Auschwitz, and I just passed it. Oh, I love the thing. Your CPAP, right? It's the best thing ever, right? You have one too?

You have one too? I mean... You bring it on a plane? Yeah, I'll bring it... No, but I don't use it on the plane because if I set up straight, I won't snore. I don't have that problem. But man, it's... I sleep much better. You got all the air. I love it. I almost can't sleep without it anymore. I love it. Because I know... When I spoke to Joe, he said, talk to you. but I did it already.

I don't want to hear no details about blood and shit. I mean, no surgeries you have. You know, I had only two, but, but, you know, because I was just, the first time when it broke, you know, you go to the doctor and then I put it back. And then, oh, no, a big surgery was only once, actually, because they really crunched my nose. And then I was sitting standing in front of the mirror, putting it back because this is before I'm teaching a class to these kids in Holland.

And this guy comes, and he says, what's going? on which you know I said I broke it I just push it back because what the doctor's going to do anyway he says well if you want I can change it for you will never break again I go what you mean he said well I'm a surgeon I do noses and everything you said that we can put so by no see it's it's a it's a plastic nose now it's not plastic it's a different kind of stuff but you know it can't break anymore you know you can break all the way on the top but that will be that's a very hard thing to do you know to break your nose but since then I never broke my nose again so it actually works it's the crazy thing you have no idea what's

Lee's face is getting rather rather by the minutes. He's looking at the numbers, and they're turning into different things right now. He's making believe he's keeping it together, but he's breathing out of his nose. He's blown out of his mouth. Now, Lee, I have to be a fair for me, my little brother. Yes, sir. I have to do something that's going to be very deep right now. Okay.

I have to go pee, but I have to go downstairs. That means those stairs coming up are going to be a motherfucker. So I might be about five minutes. Okay. I'm contemplating, just taking my little helmet out and peeing off the balcony, but I love my office. I can't disrespect. You know what I'm saying? Professionals don't disrespect.

Don't get me wrong. I'm taking my credit card. I'm going to see if I still have my burglary skills and I can break into this bathroom. If not, I've got to walk down to the first floor. Keep boss route and occupied. He's got questions for you. I do. Okay.

Give me some questions. All right. Let's do this. I hope you wrote it down? I did. Is you still working up there now? No, it's not working. Yeah.

It's so funny. Been there, done that. Yeah, this is, yeah, this is, no, I've been doing it for years with them. It's actually okay. All right. Did you ever have an issue making weight? The greatest thing with me is I, uh, we had no weight classes when I was fighting. So I'm actually the first UFC heavyweight champion.

Right. That title. And it was because there were no weight classes. And once they decided that, that was in 1999, it was a four-man tournament. And it was going to be 200 pounds and under and 200 pounds and oh. I actually for the title fight was 197 so I had to gain weight I had to drink waters at the way in I'll go over 200 pounds otherwise it wouldn't be a title fight and but that was it so I never had that problem if I would fight now I would probably

fight maybe 205 or maybe what 85 I think that's an easy cut for me I mean I'm working around 210 so I'm walking around like I always been my entire fighting career is that what you recommend because it's it seems like there's been a lot more recently instances of fighters missing weight that I haven't seen in the last couple of years. And so my questions don't really work anymore, but what I was going to say is, like, what do you think it, as a fighter, what do you, how do you, how do you, how do you think you would respond if you were told your opponent missed weight? Like, I'm, I was almost, I was kind of surprised that Max Holloway didn't put up more of a stink. It didn't seem like it, like that

three pounds. I don't know how much of a, It doesn't make it a difference. It's not a difference. You know, how I would deal with it, it's a better way to go mental on the guy. And with that means, if somebody, for instance, will be three pounds over, you know, I would say, yeah, keep it. You're going to need it, dude. I train really freaking out. Keep you three pounds.

Don't worry about losing them. I think to me, that comes over. It's way more intimidating, first of all, than when I say, no, no, I want him to go back in the son right now. I want him to lose a three-pours. To me, it seems like you're scared. Right. And Max Holloway is somebody who's absolutely not scared. No, he wasn't.

I mean, we had him on a show, and it's like McGregor, you know, it's 100% convinced he's going to beat everybody. And he's doing it. So that's why, because he's such a badass, he didn't care. That's, that I wanted, that is, I forgot to write it down. But I wanted to talk to you about his confidence because, you know, he, he opens up his post-fight interview talking about Jose Waldo, which I think is a hysterical, but B, like, just to go, to have that kind of balls, and I'm, we've discussed for the length of the show how I'm not that kind of person. And I, like, I want to know what makes a person have that much confidence.

Like, is it just something that people are born with, or it's just crazy to me to have that much confidence? No, it's, it's, it's, it's not overthinking things. That's the whole thing. with everybody if you're nervous you're overthinking things it's if you you know it's all in the head and if you say okay i always tell my students if you can fight in the fight like you're doing in the dojo like you're sparring you're 90% for sure you're gonna win this fight you know but doing it under pressure it's a whole different ball game suddenly so so you know for him he he performs the same in the in the gym as she does when he's fighting he knows that so he knows he fights at his best abilities and then he knows you know if you let doubt going into

your mind like when they ask me what oh you and fit with a million ankle both in your prime who would win I go I would win I would win I said I'll beat them up and I go oh wow that's that's a big claim I said what you want me to say you want me to say yeah you know what yeah there's a big chance that you can knock me out you know I think as a fighter you can never think that you should to yourself you should be true you she said no I'm not going to lose this fight whatever happens. I'm pretty sure he's going to say the same thing to me back. Having doubt in the mind, you know, if you plan to see just before that, before the fight, that you say to somebody, yeah, you know what, yeah, I might lose because he has a really hard right straight. You're probably

going to get a hit with the right straight parts. That's how it goes. I think as a fighter and any athlete, you know, the example I always use, Kobe Brian, you know, let's say he's standing front. He has to shoot one goal. And if he hits the goal, then his team wins. It's the last move of the whole game. And if he misses, the team loses. That's a lot of pressure. And he can score that thing a thousand times. But with all the pressure, you know, now suddenly you get affected.

Now he's one of those guys also who can put it to the side and then just scores. It's, you always, when we were young, we always heard people, R-Aids now, say, you know, what I could do with what I know now. Oh, yeah. You know, all the different situations I was in. that I could have done a lot better with my mind. You know, by control that you look at now and go, what the fuck was I thinking? Yeah, where was my control or whatever?

It's even how I look at Jiu-Jitsu now. The first three years of Jiu-Jitsu, I started over here, but then I couldn't go at night no more. And then they only had two classes during the week, so if I had an audition on Tuesday, I wouldn't go the whole week. Because I leave on Thursdays to go on the road. So it kind of sucked on me. So I was like, well, I got to figure something out.

So I started going down to Higgins on Mondays and Wednesdays. I saw him yesterday, actually, two days ago. Great guy, great guy. Just it was a small class in the daytime. His action is at night. So again, I was going one week. I would go twice one week, and then I wouldn't go for a whole week because I was on the road.

It wasn't consistent. I started going over here again, but they didn't want to do a daytime class. It was just a holiday. So they were like, you know what? come in on Mondays and Wednesdays and fuck around and I was getting into it. The guy's like, listen, after this week, we're not going to do it no more.

And one night I went to do comedy at Flappers. And I saw Alberto Crane School. And I go, you know what? I'm going to walk in there. And at first I was scared. Then I went on the schedule and I saw and I went in there January 4th and I'm still fucking there.

It's going to be a year next month. And you know what? I go twice a week if I'm in town three times. If I'm in town, I go three times a week. If I have to travel, I go twice. Yeah. And I don't go in there to choke people out.

But the whole problem I've had is, okay. So you go in there, you go through baby steps, and your weight and your age and blah, blah, blah, blah. But the real problem was I couldn't breathe, so I had the nose surgery. And that gave me a little bit more, but what I really needed to do is how to breathe again. Yeah.

So I read Dr. Belize's book. She came in, did the podcast. Did she contact you? No. I think you and her would make a very insightful team. Oh, that will be great. Because when I discovered the inspiratory muscle trainer, the O2 trainer. I'm a little fucked up right now.

I don't have my glasses on inspiratory. You don't want me to tell you what I saw. You don't want me to tell you what I saw. I saw something completely different. And you were talking about the boom, what we were talking about before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're, oh, what did we say? Diaphram.

Your diaphragm, you're a diaphragm, you're inter-coastal muscles, everything. It's so funny that she gave me exercise and that was the main thing. You know, when I went in there, I could hold my breath for fucking 20 seconds. That's embarrassing. Listen, let me explain something to you, boss. For me, I know, listen, I smoked fucking weed since I was 13. I smoked crack for about six or seven months. Then I quit. I went to a pass, and I couldn't find no crack.

So I just went back to snort and everybody was happy. You understand me? I said, fuck it. I smoked crack out of a can. What do you think of my lung looks like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my wife didn't know I was smoking cracks. She thought I was smoking cigarettes and a reefer,

but I would make believe I was drinking soda and I'd crush up the can and put holes in it and just put the crack of moon in there and light that motherfucker up. Like, I own the living room and shit. Lee, do you know what my wife said to me? Yeah, we were talking the idea. This producer, whatever the fuck, he was, writer. We were talking to his writer at Starbucks.

What the fuck were on Marie E.T. And my wife has telling him. She goes, I remember a time with the sleep apnea at first. I had sleep apnea. I was 400 pounds. I was doing a grammar blow every night. Wow. And then whatever you would give me,

like if you had anxiety pills, I would try whatever. I was like, Mikey, you don't remember me. You didn't grow up being in the 70s. It was like commercials here for, what's then that cereal? The shittiest cereal out there that tastes like ass. and they would eat and go, this isn't for us. Raisin brand? No, no.

It's even worse. I like raisin brand. When you go to prison, you get a certain urge for raisin brand. I'd say you like fruit loops before you go to prison and shit. Like, I won't eat raisin brand. Go to prison, bitch. You'll like the raisin brand real quick and shit. Then you learn to pick the raisins for later and just eat the brand.

And then you're later on at night. Whatever else is eating their fingernails. You got a bag of raisins. You want a dollar for. 50. There you go, the cigarette. You know what I'm saying? A cigarette. Not me. I didn't smoke in the joint. I'm just saying that

that's what they're going. Everything's a cigarette tacked on to it. Come on, man, you can't hit me up for a cigarette, too. You want to eat, bitch? So there's like money there. Cigarettes. Huh? Cigarettes are like money. Cigarettes of money.

Yeah. Gambling thing, you know. So for cigarettes. Yeah, let me get that T-shirt. Let me get 100 cigarettes. Wow. It's a currency in a way. Even if you don't smoke. Yeah.

Even if boss don't smoke. No, it doesn't matter because, you know, don't get high of your own supply, right? I would have cases of the rule. I would have cases in my fucking, in my little stash in prison. I had like two cases. I had Marlboro and something else. Marlboro lights or something.

And they would go for top dollar. But I would cut great deals with a pack of cigarettes. I owned you for the month. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That means I owned you for the month. Don't worry about the book. Was like name brand worth more?

Like if you got in a more bro, was it worth more than like a handmade cigarette? You know, like I said, it was uh, boss when we first got in here, we're talking about criminals, you know, we're talking about his friend. God bless his soul.

And it really, uh, turned me about bars because, you know, I always thought bars as a law-abiding guy, but by, which he is, but by him telling me this,

he lets me know he has a heart he understands that mind you know you grew up around fighting you grew up you not that you grew up uh you fought in japan where they fucking just the yakuza is the best in the world some people don't like that element at least for you to say he was your friend so we're gonna yak

let's fucking yak you know it's funny when I got locked up when I went to my final destination it was like I had been there before like I felt right but it took me like three days to get into the swing. You know, it took me like three days to talk and a couple of New Yorkers to say hello

to you. There was no Cubans, but a couple of Mexican guys talked to me. One guy from New York was very nice, but there was one guy from Philly that was particularly nice to me, you know, big motherfucker, tats, good-looking dude, you know, white, kind of reddish hair, had a weird look to him. I could tell he was a junkie maybe at one time, but now he was lifting wades and stuff, just spoke from the heart.

And there was another fat Italian dude in there. You look at him two minutes. You know, this guy's in there for extortion or something. He was in there for something. But nobody fucked with him. It was just like Goodfellers. He had his own little hut. And in there he had a set up and a half, like a kitchen.

Like he had no roommates. I just thought about that right now. My buddy I was talking about, same thing. He had a fridge in his room. He called me from his room with a cell phone. Oh, no. I have more heating right now, he told. This is 1980s.

There was no cell phones. We had a pay phone that you don't have to put quarters in, that type of shit. At that time, one of the guys figured out a way how you to make calls with no change. Again, you had to go to him and go, dog. My mother's dying in the hospital. Let me make a call. It's going to cost you, motherfucker. Come on, don't do me like that.

cigarettes. Nah, because it's an endless call. It's unlimited. You know what I'm saying? You're going to be on their crime, and then they start fucking me. I give you 10 minutes and shit. Let me get 50 cigarettes.

But he had the corner pay phone that he would put in those days he had, there was four payphone right in front of the administration building so they could watch you. And the bell would go off. You had 20 minutes. That's it. And the bell would go off.

He even had a beat that it could. go 40 minutes. Oh, wow. Or 60 minutes. So you can talk to your friend in Italy for 60 minutes, but you would have to give him three cartons of cigarettes. Ooi. Like that type of shit.

But he knew some black kid figured that, but he could only do the corner phone. Yeah. That was the problem. Not all three of them, because it would be tremendous. He'd be running a fucking place. Wow.

It's funny how people come up with those things, right? There's always a way to break the rule or to still escape, you know, in jail. It's still happening. I mean, last week it happened again. People break out. You go to how is it even possible? On bed sheets. No, time together.

And I go, like, you see. Balls, you know. And you know that they're either going to shoot you or they're chasing you. And the bad thing about, if we live in, listen, man, I tell you what, I think being a kid just came to a fucking end. I saw a commercial and now you could tap the car. You could have what? Tap the car.

Just put a little thing in the car. Oh, yeah. They'll tell you the distance. If it pops out, who's got it? Excuse me, where it is, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's not going to be fun to be a kid no more. Doesn't it tell you, like, an alert if they're speeding? Yeah, everything.

Everything. Yeah, no, it's... Number two, you're a kid. Listen, there's no... I couldn't have done half the shit I did 30 years ago today. Not even close because all my shit was walking around. There's cameras everywhere. And guess what, Boss?

If you don't think, this is me, and I'm a dumb fuck, I got a GED, okay? If they find a body right now on Lancashire and Magnolia Lee, you're an intelligent guy, you went to fucking school for four years. Let's pretend they find a body there. They find blood. And there's evidence that it happened right there on that corner. Okay.

There's no possible way that that body got transported, stabbed somewhere else, and dropped there to throw the authorities off because that's going to start happening. Isn't there any way I could go, you know, give me all the cameras in the area. That's one thing. Give me all the security cameras. There's a Starbucks where I'm talking about right there.

You know what I'm talking about? Magnolia right there. Magnolia and Lancashim. There's a Starbucks. There's a big building bento box. Right? Is that where that is, Lee? Yeah, yeah.

They have where the Oscars does that thing. The Oscars do that thing, and they have that Italian pizzeria on the corner. So I would get the camera from the Italian pizzeria and the Starbucks, and where city's sitting fucking burnt down. Your favorite place, Cogsucker. Is the Italian pizzeria you're talking about dominoes? No.

Yeah, well, there's a domino's there, and then across the street. There's the place where the sangria's nine bucks, and the pizza tastes like ass, but there's always outdoor seating. Yeah, pit fire. And the only reason why you go there is because it's a fucking theater with that shitty theater upstairs. That's the only reason why they're there. It's a fucking nightmare, that whole block. Across the street, there's a chicken place, black place, tremendous.

There's always a line. First of, they got four tables. Why do you have four fucking tables? Let's go get a loan. Let's go get one of these black VA loans. And put ten more fucking tables in here. There's always 30 people waiting. My wife went, waited online, $30 for six pieces of chicken.

And it was men's arm out. I go, you've got to go to the Popeyes. Yeah. And there would have been a lot better. You've got a whistle and dirty rice and everybody were going to be fucking happy. I never went to Popeyes, ever. But the thing that it really, like the Italian guy I'm telling you about, he was in there for some federal mafia thing.

I never asked him. He never told me. I just asked one of the counselors and he told me. But the funny thing is, most people cook to sell. food in there he cooked for himself he was the real deal he did he did gambling sheets and i became friend he kept watching me and i would get one sheet from him and i would gamble with him and put the bets in and then he'd go you want some nachos like oh nachos who has nachos in prison he had nachos oh wow and one of the best nachos i've ever had he'd melt the cheese with the inside of an iron

you have an iron like this and you take over here out and it becomes a rod And you take a piece of American cheese and you put that rod in the middle and you got to leave it there for like eight hours. And then he would cut the chilies and the peppers. And he cut a bunch of shit and season it up. And you go in there at 4 o'clock. He'd be staring that motherfucker for Monday night football. Oh, the whole place smells great. He was the king, man.

This guy had a pot. He made soups. That's not a godfather. Isn't the old when they, with the razor plate? A good fellas. He wasn't cooking sticks in it. There was this mess. Mexican dude that his mother would drop off 300 burritos on Sunday and he would sell each one of them and I would buy 15 green chili fucking burritos.

How many cigarettes was that? I would just blast them off cash and I'd run them an errand once a week which meant that when I had my you have store privileges this is a prison camp so you had store privileges if you had had higher up numbers and you were just about to be released, you go to the store once a day for 20 minutes. At this time, Boss Rood, who do you think you're dealing with, Joy Bananas? First off, I did something

nobody even thought all to do. There was a Chinese restaurant right next to the fucking place. I got to tell you something, it wasn't that bad. It's like every other Chinese restaurant outside New York. You just got to get the right stuff on the menu. They make

the right stuff. They're was low-made pork if you got dry noodles with some mustard and shit damn Monday night football you were banging on Monday night football same thing I would get the Chinese food he would say what are you gonna do on Monday what who got orders on Monday night nobody me Monday night's how I was got ice cream and sodas and I would take it to the HIV place the HIV place had a couple dudes in there but the HIV players had the best television in the house and had the best living conditions

and all of them were in bedrooms, coffers. So I would go there, bring them ice cream and soda, and then let me sit in their living room. And I got these other black dude and this other white dude from Cleveland, and we count our fucking gambling money in there. Nobody would say nothing to us. It was like a fucking movie, you know. It was a movie.

Yeah, funny. You know, I was in charge of the stock room so I could hide shit for people. So Boss Rutan wants to hide the gloves. He's got two sets of gloves. He fights. You know, if people come in here and they want to fight, Boss Rutan takes him in the back,

$3 a ticket, Boss Rutan throws me $2 to hold the gloves once a month. So that's how it, Brent, make my money. Oh, wow. Guys like you would come to me and go hide this for me because it was a well-known fact that you could search everything else, but the dogs never went to the back stock stuff where the cans were. Yep.

So I would hide gloves in the... there, you know, there was dudes that were just drinking steroids. Do you understand me? And I knew all of them, because they all stashed their shit on the pallets. Joey, please let me stash my shit on the pallets. They would put little packages. The syringes were up their assholes. Oh.

I mean, this was crazy. That's the craziest thing. And they had spare syringes, which they rented out or gave to you, but for cigarettes or whatever they'd walk around with two syringes in their asshole listen this is a funny my buddy right there is a big uh bouncer yeah tushy happy tushy dot com dude it's so it's so dangerous also to to share to share nails especially in a place like that but this guy he had like he was the steroid provider to all these bouncers at the casino you have no idea you have no

But he had like six syringes ready, right? All filled up already. And then these bodyguards, the bounces would come in one by one. And they would drop the pants. He would throw it in, blow, put the pants up, and it goes out. So this one guy walks in, pretty big dude. He gives him a shot. The guy passes out.

Oh, no, what happened before also is that this was going to be the last guy he was going to inject. So he already put his own pants down. So he was going to do himself right after that. And of course, the guy drops. He catches the guy. He stands behind the guy. Now the owner walks in, and they're both standing there

with the pants on the knees. Oh, yeah, tried to explain that. No, no, it's not what you think. Really? Okay, it really looks like it's what I'm thinking. The craziest thyroid story that I lived with. He's a dear friend of mine. I haven't spoken to him in a few months.

I got to call him tomorrow. A dear friend of mine since I was kids and two were kids. And, you know, he went. went away to the army he became the soldier the i mean you know this kid was crazy you came from the neighborhood but he always had something boss you could always tell when your kids there was something about him he was very sweet he went away to the army and then they had the big write-up about him he ended him going to the white house of regan and shit you know he saved three fucking dudes whatever the

fuck the story was then the last thing i see him at the bar he asked me if i want to do a blast i thought you in the army yeah i got thrown out that that's what a son you were the son He knows of the year. They gave you a medal. Who knows? Yep. Three months later. And his brothers listening to this podcast, the one, well, anyway, one New Year's they got into a fist fight, and this kid bit my friend's hero.

It's like if you bit Lee's ear off right now. Plus, what happened? Bit the bottom, they had to stitch it up. Today, everybody's friends and everybody's family. The fuck was I going to tell you? What the fuck are we talking about? I got to stop eating. He was talking about the guy in the army.

He got discharged from the army. You know, there was a fight going on with his brother or with his friend, you know, bit the ear off. There was a fucking point here, Boss Rutan. Written. Oh, steroids. Oh. It was about steroids. But we grew up together, and there was a time when I used to buy guns in Colorado, jump on a plane, bring the guns to his house, get off the plane in Newark.

This is 1987, bring the guns to his house. He'd have a buyer for the guns. They'd give me that cash, and I'd buy Coke, and then take the Coke from him and take it back to Colorado. Now, I'm a fucking kid. I'm a fucking dummy, okay? But I got balls to steal, and I'm a dumb fuck. So this goes on.

So it was always a deal. When I got off the plane, the plane landed at 11. I had to be back at the airport by 3. All I wanted was my cash, Coke, and his mother had to make chicken coffee. Because I lived in Colorado, nobody knew how to make Italian chicken colors with the mashed potatoes and the cream corn and the fucking cranberry juice. Nobody knows how to do this. These fucking Gentiles.

I don't know how to do that shit. The one time, this is like my fifth trip. Now, I grew up with these guys. Now I was bringing them 9 millimeters every week. Brand new with the holster, with the, I mean, like John Farooke, you should have seen me. Right out of Miami Vice. I just show up and you'd have like three of your fucking Goomba. friends of you and I'd walk in the room take my window jack and go and I'd have the whole

holster with the gun in it with the two Miami vice clips and the whole package that cost me six and a quarter and I'd bang them out for fucking 12 and then I'd buy the for uh 9800 you got 11 ounces this is 1987 I'd take two out throw four in and bang them out at 18 16 a piece I was living like a doctor doing nothing I could still snort my ass up because I wouldn't lose I wouldn't lose I just love the image because you couldn't fly with the holsters

could you on your body? No they were in my luggage I just love where would you go and put on the holsters for this presentation on the drive from the fucking car you know what I'm saying listen you can't sell a $10,000 product with a $10 present

you know what I feel you that drop it on your lease Sorry, I got. So the one time, like, every week was a new adventure. Every time I went to their house, and I loved them daily until today, I love them. Every week was a new adventure. The one time I brought mushrooms fresh from Colorado that were killing motherfuckers. We put them on the table, we're in the bedroom giggling, and we hear potato chips. What the fuck is that noise?

We're going to the living room. His cousin, his little brother, is eating the mushrooms. He thought there were frozen mushrooms. Oh. So that's one time. This time I walk in, the best scenario ever. This time I walk in. I'm like, where's D?

He's in the bedroom. I go in there. You got a safe. On top of that safe, there was two tiers. There was one tier that was just filled with little D-Balb bottles, files. I mean, in order. Like, this was, this is 1980 fucking, fucking, I got knocked off an 80. this is way before 80s this is 86 the whole bottom shelf was just one ounce of iels of d ball

and the what was the one from germany the one that fucking yoked you up like a motherfucker diana no diana was the shooter bowl this was uh annaval no annavall rips you up this was the one that fucking from your wrist up like once you did it from your wrist up, Jack. Like growth hormone? No. No, it was a shit. It was a pill. Oh, wow. Big in the 80s. Big in the 80s. Big in 82. Real big in 82.

Wasn't those things that they gave to cows, right, for the asthma or those that I think... Something crazy. Lee, from here up, the muscle would start here. Three months, you would get muscle here. People would go, what the fuck you're doing to your wrist? I'm doing push-ups and nice and match it. Don't make me smack

in the fucking mouth. They're right. What do you think? I just fell out the banana box. I grew 23 pounds. I walked in there. The bottom of the top rack was the juice. The bottom rack was a couple packages of powder and cash. His pants had dropped.

He's on the phone. The cord from the wall. Okay? He's got it like this. He's bent over about to do a line. And his mom's about to shoot him with a fucking steroid at the same time. You can't write this in a man. No, nobody's going to believe it.

Yeah. bro he called in we had him calling 10 times he's one of my type buddies i gotta call him tomorrow i'm mad him because he didn't show up to a gig and i saved that seat from like and i gave it to somebody else as he bent over he shot him and he would do a line of cloak and she would shoot him at the same time with the puts of lutes that that's taking it to the next level that's uh that's 1986 north bergen new jersey not my parents no wow then she ended up taking one of those guns and shooting at him one time they missed his head. Okay. Although this was a real house.

This was no drama house. This was no fucking ABC blackish or back from the boat. Whatever that fucking Chinese. The Brady Bunch. Good night, Mom. Good night, son. Good night. They look all up and down.

Everybody, that would be funny. You know, the Brady Bunch, you see that screen with all the little screens and all of them are doing drugs. You know, we've got to... They're all paranoid. They're all paranoid. You just see little shades of shit. Look at Boss Root and Cracking Fonies, you show. Oh, man.

That's hilarious. You've had a very interesting career, man. Yeah. And it's funny, just to answer Lee, another thing. You were talking about pancreas. I just recently watched, like, maybe one or two pancreas. Were there a lot of wrestling in pancreas? I mean, was that, no, that's why you were throwing that many kicks?

No, you know, I always got taken down. That's what sucks. Yeah. But the thing was, you know, that was, you know, I always enjoyed when I went inducted to the Hall of Fame last year, they made these stats. Thank you.

And I didn't know any of my stats. I didn't know that I had a total time of four hours and 27 minutes. You know, they do all the stats, all of fight time, four hours and 27. But another great stat was that I never attempted a single takedown, yet I won 14 fights by submission.

So I thought I was a nice little thing, so that meant that they took me down and I was able then to overcome that. But, yeah, wrestling has never been my strongest point. It's a super important aspect of mixed martial arts. I always say it should be the one in the middle year. Either a really good wrestler and a striker or a really good ground guy and a wrestler.

But for some reason, in Holland, it's very hard to find wrestling schools. It's not like here in America that everybody does it. So I figured, you know what, I'm just going to focus on the ground. And maybe that even helped my ground game because I think if I would have been great at stopping takedowns, my ground game wouldn't have been as good as I at this right now because, you know, I had no takedown defense. Listen, before we proceed, you're a sweetheart of a guy. Plus that, you can kill me with one fucking knuckle.

If I'm looking at you and I giggle, I am not high and you are not the devil. I am laughing at fuck-all behind you because he is going. You ever hear the song by Ozzy Osborne, Black Sabbath, I'm going through changes. Yeah, that's it. That's Lee right now. He's really going through changes right now. Every time, if I'm looking at you and I look off the side, it's not that I don't love you.

And said he's going through deep changes. Understand me. He's thinking. I'm not going through changes. I'm watching you evolve. I can't speak anymore. Oh, my God. You have no idea.

He just had a little conversation with himself for about four minutes about college and tuition. I watch the whole thing go down. Look at him. And meanwhile, you're talking to me. And I'm like, nobody can't believe this show. How many stars? We just went deep.

He just read the wrong of them at me. How many times did you do? We started with, I think, eight, but then we had the chocolate. I have no clue hiking today. Yeah, that's a lot. He did. I didn't get anxiety coming up to stage. You see, it relaxes you out.

It's nice. It's the fucking inspiratory muscle. Yep. O.J. Trader. I told you. It's going to help you. I saw you talking about it. Like, this has been, listen, there are times I drive home and go, you know what,

Because of my breathing, I'm going to have to give up Jiu-Jitsu. It's embarrassing. And then I go home and I go, fuck that noise. I'm going back tomorrow. And then I'll do some hip escapes. And then I'll warm up. That really help. Like, I'll go on the back, and I'll just jump rope.

And I'll do kettlebells. And by the time I'm out of the mat, I'm warm. And in the class, we do drills. And by the end, my breathing isn't that bad. I have to just focus. I'm breathing in my nose and out my mouth, you know. Once I go off that pattern, I'm fucked. And the anxiety raises.

So right now I'm in the process of just breathing. If I can last, if I can go three, five minute rounds, I'm fucking happy. Yep. I'm very happy. You know, plus the workout, plus to warm up before, plus I stay from mobility class, 15, 30 minute class afterward. That's all I need. I'm still too embarrassed to bring the piece in and do it during Jiu-Jitsu.

I think, and I don't want it on the floor. Yeah, you don't need it. I don't want people's feet on my fucking tooth. No. Then I'll get my fungi toe in my mouth and I have fungi tooth. Yeah, nothing will look good. That's a motherfucker right there. You try to explain it if you're one of those sores on your lips.

Oh, yeah. So no. But you sent me the... Oh, the trainer? No, the disc, the trainer, how to box and stuff like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but the one worked on my computer, but the other one was doing something. It's not your disc.

It's a fucking computer. I'm getting a little one. Christmas oh okay so once I get the new one for Christmas but I started uh experimenting you know you gave me the exercises in the chair I started doing those and then uh I just started doing squats with it and then push up so that I started doing you know like uh chokes like from the closed guard by myself and then I started doing uh what call those things, not triangles, but when you fucking yell at the

when you go to the side from the when you're on the bottom, it don't fucking matter. Yeah, all this crazy. And I got it down, this is the best I've done. I don't know what number that is. This is well, it says it ever, number seven. Okay.

That's pretty good. And I get dizzy sometimes, not real dizzy. I just hear like, but I hear that noise a lot. Whenever I get high, I hear that noise. I hear Japanese people yelling, you know. It's a bunch of, it's so fucked up. what my first panic is.

Like, when I first go on the yard, I warm up, I stretch my back, I do some push-ups, I do some sit-outs. By the time I get up, I get the jump rope, and I'll jump rope for maybe 30 seconds, and that's fine.

Then the next 30 seconds, forget about it. My world goes fucking is shut. And then I'll push it. I'll go, fuck this. And I'll get back on it, get back on it. And then maybe I'll increase it to 33 seconds, but I'm fucking running out of gas.

Then I'll wait 10 or 12 seconds, and I'll do it again until I feel myself kind of like, Joey, hold on one second. You could die. And then I breathe myself through it, and then right away my body goes into panic, so I got to pee right away. There's times, you know, I've taken my dick out and peed on my ghee and on my hand and shit, because it just explodes. Yeah. The anxiety goes out that way. That is so crazy. It is the weirdest thing.

When I was 418 pounds. I used to go to Justin Fortune's gym, and Macafoli would train people in that. And the first or second time I went, I peed myself in the ring because I couldn't breathe. Just the anxiety of seeing stars after fucking three minutes and just movement. We were just moving. We weren't even boxing. Yeah. You know, and then I realized I got to start bringing two pairs shorts and I got to wear underwear.

It looks like I'm going to be peeing myself a lot now. first three months with Nacopholi I would pee myself three times a fucking week you know Wow but you know what I wasn't breathing correctly the whole time if somebody would have stopped me

and took the time to breathe correctly it's so weird now I'm working with this I stretch out my rib cage I mean in my fucking marathon in 44 minutes no but guess what the first time I roll

I got to stop at the two minute mark and rest for like 30 seconds and I finish out the thing then the second one I go a little longer then the third one I'll go a little longer and that's my clap you know what I'm saying like after that I'm pretty fucking happy

yeah after that I feel like I'm gonna fucking pass out anyway I've done enough anyway you know I don't want to be able to I gotta know how I gotta learn how to match my breathing up the whole mechanics you know the breathing the great thing from this is it will teach you automatically to breathe the crate. If you do a small hole on there,

like the number 10, and you breathe in, you'll force yourself to use your core or your diaphragm. Okay, so 10's a little smaller. Yeah, but you can only do breathing exercise where you don't want to train with that. You do this exercise I sent you on the chair. Right.

Like breathing in, and that, you will actually feel your diaphragm opening it up. Oh, yeah. I feel it now. Yeah. See, what I used to happen was this. You ready? I would go.

And then right there, ago. And then right here and we just go, boom, because there was no muscles there. There was no muscle to control that. Now, hold on. Yeah. Yeah, you see you're breathing now

using your diaphragm. That's it. Just that is already... You see that? Just that's the same as what you were talking about in the beginning with the running, with the elbows not too high. It's just that. That's it. That's what I got. It forces you to do it the correct way. That's a great thing about it. So on your own, you kind of, I spoke to you through it, which is very nice of you.

You know, man, one thing I've learned about Jiu-Jitsu and the world of Jiu-Jitsu is people are very kind. Yep. After you choked me four times, you know what, let's learn that move. I'm catching you with because obviously you don't see you come. Yeah. There's nobody who shoots you and then shows you how he shot you. Yep. You know, Jiu-Jitsu does that.

Jiu-Jitsu is the only sport that people see. see you and give you a t-shirt. You know, when you sent me this thing, when you sent me the little fucking booklet and stuff, it meant the world to me because it's health. Yep. You don't give a fight. This ain't for money and nothing.

You're doing this for health. You saw that this was, and I always get inspired by that type of shit. People like, really? You know, somebody, a friend of mine called me when he goes, my friend says he, you know, some fat man jiu-jitsu, he wants a teacher. I said, you're kidding me.

He goes, no, go on YouTube. It'll set you're a reel. shit he was a great guy Matt Begkey came down I own my world he taught me through two things that I'm great at yeah a different type of side control that motherfucker ain't going nowhere you know what I'm saying like shit like that when it comes to health I got the utmost respect for people because people always try to do something I got to be careful yeah two weeks ago at the helium comedy club in Portland I was smoking pot and the green the alarm system went on fire oh yeah yeah the system went

down the lights turned off they came in the room but it's not a fire department came but they've said what somebody was smoking in the green room and the management goes yeah and then they just left and turn the power back on but that's why i wanted you on here i want to thank you personally because a lot of people don't everything do everything as a fucking angle yeah yeah this is a really great health product man this is a fucking great and i started on my desk in between computer things i'm sick and tired of sitting there. I did the special. And since fucking March, I've been sitting there.

An extra hour every day. It affected everything. It affected my back. So I realized maybe I should do something in between whatever. I get a good idea. Maybe I'll do 10 push-ups. Maybe I'll do a down dog for three seconds. You know, I can't do no real down-dog. I do a fucked-up

down-dog. Yeah, yeah. A little half-down. You're like a half-down dog. But you can do that also with you as a trainer. With your fucking trainer. This is why. This is why, you know what? Sometimes it's a sunny day out. I even yell at least sometimes. Like, oh, you leave the fucking house yet? Sometimes I take the baby to school.

I come back and go in the yard. I smoke a little bit. I said that for five minutes. But you got work to do. You can't sit out in the sunshine. You know what I'm saying? The sunshine don't pay the rent. I ain't no farmer.

So I go inside. Now, like, when I'm sitting there, I move my ankles and I do all that stupid fucking shit to keep your legs alive. But now I'm doing this. I do a couple push-ups, a couple sit-ups. I thought it was great, man. I wanted to congratulate you.

You know, it cured me from my asthma. It blows me away. It's the most important thing in your body is oxygen. I mean, you can go three days without water, three weeks without food, three minutes without that. And everybody's focusing on food and being bigger and doing and drinking and whatever you drink. I got to let's focus on the number one priority here. Because if it's that important, I'm pretty sure if you increase that, then you're going to feel much better. you know so that's that's how it started I came up I did when I was 14 years old

when I had asthma attacks like real asthma attacks I mean a week in bed not able to eat you know because I couldn't breathe you're using an inhaling them well when I came out with the prototype within I think six weeks I was cured I never had asthma anymore I sent it to my buddy in the Holodews asthma he's selling them right now in Europe because his asthma was gone in eight days I start telling people the asthma I say listen I cannot medically prove it yet. We were getting very close now. I have like 18 medical journals coming out in various, it proven what it does for you. I mean, you're saying Bolt using it. I mean, the gold medalists and the Olympics, three other gold medalists are you. I mean, it's getting really

big. I just cannot release anything right now because I have not enough stock. So that's why we're just slowly building. And then once, you know, I have 20,000 of these things in stock. Yeah, then I'm going to say, okay, here are the medical journals. Here's all the proof that you can do. but I never carry an inhaler anymore for my every single title fight I had every fight I had when warming up your lungs will close like that happens with pretty much every asthma patient you have to open them up with albuterol and once it's open you can go now I don't even carry an inhaler with me anymore that's been I've been carrying an inhaler with me for like 48 years everywhere I went everywhere I went always needed one in my hip bucket

He's still alive. Lee is still moving. He's still going to do changes. I'm not going to changes. And people still call me Festos, by the way. I know. You know what the worst thing is now? Take two slices of bread.

It's going to work much harder also, right? What do you mean? Well, if you just took a star and you wait 50 minutes and then eat two slices of bread. What happens? You never did that? No. Oh, dude.

That will intensify the whole thing. If you guys eat a burger now Hey boss In 40 minutes you're freaking out You don't need to tell them these things You don't need any more tricks I'm not kidding Don't come in here with a loaf of toasted bread

And butter tomorrow I'm not as socks You watch you eat it You wait 10 minutes Then you take it You wait 10 minutes then you eat That's the trick It gets into your system right away

That's what I did with I've heard a thousand different A friend of mine used to eat Medical marijuana shit Only with pizza with extra cheese because the cheese does something

you can do with anything it doesn't fucking buffalo somebody gave me a jaw papaya enzymes which I love and guess what I've been eating papaya enzymes

in 1981 ever since I started selling Coke because I used to go to the Coke to the thing to get the inositol the nasatol that slows you down

right? Inosetol is the really really good cut back in the 80s Okay. You know, Joe Weeder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Wheater used to have a fucking thing called something fat.

It was the original fat cutter. And it was Cloline and Inocatal. That was his claim to fame. Inocetal in the 80s was what was real people were putting in Coke. It was untraceable. It was so funny that when I first started buying aninacot, it was $6 a container. And eight months later, it was $35 because even the pharmacist got hit. So that you were cut and there with coke.

Like two, two fucking ounces of 35 fucking bucks. They fucks you the fucking fucking. Of course. And that's why sometimes if we did a lot of coke, you go, I lost weight. Wasn't the coke? It was the fucking I announcer at all, you dumb fuck.

Yeah, plus you know, you're sweating it out. Oh, no, no. Oh, it's the worst. Yeah. Boss Rutan, every November, this year would be nine years since I did cocaine. Nine fucking years. And those last three years were brutal.

So you still say, oh, I should try it one time? Me? No, no. No, me. I think so. Worthless drug. Let me tell you something. Right now for me to do cocaine, it would ruin everything.

Yep. Just on a, even if I never did it again, it would break a promise I made. It would ruin it. Within a week, I think I'd be done. Something bad would happen. I mean, like a personal person. no problem. That's it. Then you've got to do it. And I never missed it after that.

You know, once you're a clean from something a while, you're like, wow, I can't believe I lived that long thinking. I couldn't be alive without this snake. And now, you can be alive without anything. Once you realize that, you're like, shit, this is like shit.

You know? It's all, everything's in the head, man. Everything is trainable. Everything is habits. Everything is like me now, now. I go to New York. I take a red eye. I arrive there like five o'clock a.m. and I'm going to, you know, sleep maybe hopefully four hours, but no problem. Now, 10 years ago when I was still drinking, you see, then you walk at the airport,

you go, you don't know where you are, you got to look everywhere, you know, you lose your tickets, you got to find it again. Like the stress you have, and then you realize when you just stop that, you go like, yeah, you can drink a beer here and bring beer there, but, you know, to go tanked again before every flight and go on the flight and you feel like when you, you know, you start thinking, you're getting older, we're getting older, we want to be a little bit more. healthy he can do much more in the time because time is the only thing we can't have more of right it's funny on some nights on my living room or i'm in the office trying to write jokes

or trying to write a paragraph or a book or whatever and i think about like i was writing about a certain time in my life saturday i know i had a stay in this week because i was on the road a lot i shot this it's just i knew how to do early morning radio this week so I had to go to bed early had the East Coast radio they wanted me to call it the first fucking pencil I got was and you call it at 830 New York time I'm like that's five five which guess what poshrutin I'm up if I don't have to get up are you with me oh I know exactly what you mean so let's say tomorrow you go Joey can you do me if I call into my show at 6 a.m. Yeah whatever and 9 a.m. New York time 6 a.m. You'll be up I see you on Twitter fucking around. Don't lie to me. Come on my show. I go, okay. But guess what? Tonight, I'll go home. I'll be home at 9.30. I watch TV. I'll smoke a bowl. And I go, shit. That's right. I got to call my brother, boss. Let me go in and lay that. 11, 12, 15. 1 o'clock. Now you're in a fucking deep zone. Now you got to do something. A, you want to be fresh.

The old days, guys like me and you're like, fuck it. get up done get up yeah right let me do jumpin jacks but now you know that that day's gonna be a motherfucker as it is never mind you're fucking it's a night that's what happens to me yep so now i get four hours of sleep i can't go back to sleep after uh bosses call for some reason now even though and now your whole day is not fucked it's uh now you know why these older people they wake up so early you know everybody wants longer time it's the one thing one thing that you don't have you know i can't call my parents at 6 a.m. in the morning morning they're up you know but getting up there in age and I think truly believe you know if you

want to do something if there's a lot of work to be like my friends they say yeah but you know what I would say oh to train and I got to do these 30 repetitions in the morning I don't have the time for that I say it takes about four minutes say yeah yeah but I wake up later I say wake up four minutes early it's very simple you know like in the morning I wake up early because I before everybody goes to school I already want to have my things done I don't turn on my phone in the morning I wait till that till it's like nine or nine 30 If you try to reach me too bad, you can't reach me. I don't go online.

You know, I do the things that I do for myself first. And I, my whole, and then my day starts turn on my computer and I start doing everything. And if you don't do that, this is the biggest problem, the freaking telephone. All the kids walk on the street. I was in New York two weeks ago. I'm walking on the street. And it's 80% of the people are looking on their phone. And I mean, it's not 50-50.

It's you look around. Everybody's on their phone. Nobody has time for you. They break up by text. they start dating by text. They do everything by text, sexting, whatever they do. I mean, it's the craziest thing. These phones are the mice.

They really are. They know where you are, what you spend, what you do. They know everything about you. And everybody's hooked to the thing. You should stay far away from it. You know, if a few days a week, if you can say, okay, you know, today, between one and three or one and four, you leave the phone at home. You know, maybe take it with you, turn it off.

You never know if you're going to get in an accident or something. So you have somebody that you can call, but turn the freaking thing out. My daughters, you know, when we're eating, we're having dinner, and then somebody texts, and they have to respond right away. I said, why do you need to? They can wait 10 minutes, yeah, but they think I'm angry. Well, just tell them from now on if you don't react, you know. You're probably eating.

Done. That's problem solved. But no, they have to immediately respond to those texts. Drives me nuts. If we go to a restaurant, nobody's allowed to bring the phone anymore. I bring my phone and I turn it off. I put it on, what is it on airplay mode, so we can make pictures, but that's about it.

You know, social media is a big vehicle and what we do. I have Twitter on my phone and I have hotmail. That's it. That's it. This is very smart. I have Periscope. That's a good one too. Yeah.

Facebook Live is good. You know, Facebook, I don't know. Some days, it's interesting. Some days it's just a cry for fucking help. Some days, it really. aggravates the fuck out of me some days i don't even look at it's a sad thing if i see a quick somebody family from the church family i'll put something nice to try to make that day to see if they're having a shitty day but besides that i look on facebook sometimes i go what the fuck is this what is this

why am i looking at this i could be right and a half a joke yeah looking at a cat who's yawning i could be right not a fucking word or something so that's what i get from the from the social media thing I don't let it really cut into my shit. That's why I keep my stuff low, Lee knows. When people come to me with new gadgets, listen, I got what I got, and I barely got this. Yep. The last thing I need is a new fucker. What's the gadget?

Well, this is better than Periscope, because you could talk to the people, and you can see where they are, and you can charge them $2. Listen, I don't want to do nothing like that. I just want to pop on Periscope when I want and get the fuck off there when I want. You don't have the fucking time to be around. around there all day. I try to go away from social media Saturdays and Sundays. I do too. Okay, so I disappear Friday morning and I get back on there Sunday night. Sunday night, especially if it's a business week, you got to get on there Sunday night to promote

to let them know Uncle Joey's coming to town slinging dick and giving our firecrackers, you know what I'm saying? You miss doing the MMA hour? Oh, yeah, yeah. That went on for how long? Nine years. Yeah, I do miss. I miss the people also.

You know, you become a family. You know, you know, these people for nine years. Every week you see them. You know, they become very close friends. So yeah, I miss that. It was always fun. I never had a day in my life that I said, you know, today I rather stay home than do the show. I always wanted to do the show.

It was always fun to do. It's always good to have guests on the show. Maybe like McGregor, I met him through our show. You know, so we get the new stars on. This is two years ago. But, you know, you also, the old guys, sometimes we talk to Coleman or to Don Fryer, Dan Severn. You know, they come back on, Hanso Gracie,

then the new young guys again that I don't know. So this way it was a way of me for me to stay in touch with the old guys, but also to get the new talent and start knowing these, these new fighters that we have nowadays. It was funny because when I would get off the stage on Friday nights, I would get back to my room, whatever city I was on. and either you were on or it was coming on in 20 minutes.

Yeah. If I got in at 1, like if I got in at 1240 and you weren't on, I knew you were coming out at 1. Yeah. But you didn't come on at 1, we got a problem. But you know what, there's a soda fountain and found downstairs and they got potato chips. I go, this isn't killing out.

And that's how I would watch a few things. You know me, at that time, I was still, till this day, since the UFC really broke my MMA cherry, I still watch the UFC if I had. after very seldom what I that's why I said I never know when Bellator is coming on yep and the other places I don't really the other people I don't watch I don't even know what else is out there maybe the world series of an Amber Alerts did you get that too yeah yes you made me too my mind live up to this way they stole my cat I'm

the fuck mother's gonna her name is Amber oh was this a cat no way no it's not a cat It's a blue game. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's fucking crazy when that happens. Every cop is looking for you. Yep. What a fucking nightmare to be a criminal full time now. Oh, my God.

It's so useless. Eventually, they'll get caught. You know, you're going to do it. Me and jail, that would not be a good thing, man. I don't, I'm not a happy person when I'm locked up. You know, I want freedom. I want to run around. I want to scream, do crazy things.

Nah, that would not be me. But you don't know what losing your freedom is to you lose your freedom. No, I believe it. And for me, it wasn't the freedom part. I've said it a thousand times. It was more the slight looking down from the guard to the convict. That non-respectful, they respect you.

Not that they respect you. They keep it light because they know it's some time you can blow up the fucking floor. But they still have this weird treatment of you. I always told Lee, you don't know what your life is until a man kicks your bed and tells you to wake. up. That does something to you. Can you imagine that that come to your bed and just kick and go, wake the fuck up, bitch. Yeah. Eventually, you're going to get up and choke me, boss, room eventually.

Yeah, I wouldn't know goobie it with that. That's not good. That's not good. Authority figures, I'm a big fan. No, nobody putting a light on when you're sleeping is very fucking nice. Then they kick the bed, then they say something to you. You know what I'm saying? And there's nothing you can do.

Because if you do, they'll have another place for you. They'll go sleep here. You know, right? With stitches. Throw in the hole or whatever. And they got to sleep with stitches and a tube up your ass. Yeah. So you know the system.

Do you already know the system? They never beat you. They never make believe they find heroin, none of that shit. But they always play that hand like they got you. And they really do have you. So who are you kidding who? You know, it's a... So now you start playing.

I'm not doing nothing. But even if I was, you couldn't get me. And you start playing. I know you're doing something. You're a criminal. And guess what? 9 out of 10,

I'm going to get you. And that's what happens now in the system. And you see it go down. And sure enough, this guy goes for one week. The way Lee's about the good Lee, you're getting sleepy. You don't need to tell me that. Lee, you're getting sleepy.

Lee, put your head down. It's okay. It's not being new. I'm not sleep. I'm fine. You know what? Listen. Listen, no man deserves to go through these changes.

Put your head down. It's okay. I'm not going to be madly. You know your family. I bet. Close your eyes. Five minutes. Just take a breather.

It's snappy new. You ever remember when you were in kindergarten? It's snappy new new time. It's not being new to time. You cross your arms like this, Indian style, right? You put your head. That looks really good. Look at the way he does.

Look at him. Yeah. I didn't know what I'm going through changes. You're hearing people yelling. Chet Changes. I swear to God. You don't know what I've seen. Boss Rutan, it looks like he's got virtual reality glasses on, and he's got...

But he's not looking, because his eyes are closed. The lights are turned off and he's listening to Apocalypse now. That's how... That's what your face looks like, Lee. Well, yeah, that's what happened with 1,800 milligrams, whatever we have. Who said it was 1,800? It was at least 1,400. Stop lying, though.

fucking people. How much was it? A lot. Don't ask questions, all right. I think I'm doing fine. Boss Rutan, you ever look at these guys in the ring and you go, I miss fighting? Every day, every time. You know, the worst is if I go to a gym to interview somebody and they're sparring.

You know, and I go like, oh, I wish I could do that. I don't want to take the risk anymore. I have four neck surgeries. Like a plate from the front, four disc fusion, the back. I mean, you know, it's a time that you start thinking, you know what, I'm going to give my body a little rest. I beat it up enough. I did enough crazy stuff in my life. And, you know, I got the crazy stories to beg it.

But that's it. It's time now to pay attention to life, right? I mean, it's out of control. Time again. Here we go again. Time. Everything is time. And it's living, walking in pain.

I rolled like when I saw Higgen. I was with another guy also and he wanted to roll. Now, I didn't roll for 10 years. There's a reason I don't roll because I have no cart on my knee gaps, which is extremely painful. Not at that moment. I can do it, but the next day. And boy, the next day, yeah, I look at my wife, I go, oh, man, can't even walk a stairs

anymore, you know, it's because it's aggravating, the knee stop blowing up. So it's not fun anymore. That was the reason I stopped fighting. People go, like, why did you stop? You were still winning. I said, well, because the training, it was hurting every workout, 10 times a week, in intense pain, you know, get my tendonitis in my arms, kill me. I was losing weight because of the pain.

I couldn't eat. it was not fun anymore. You know, before all that, training was fun. Getting tired? Oh, I love getting tired. I wanted to get as tired as much as possible because for some reason that would give me a great feeling. You know, I learned how to love that.

That's what with things. People say, well, yeah, I don't like training. I'll learn to love it. Otherwise, stop. You know, otherwise it's not your profession. If you don't enjoy it, you're not going to go far. You're really not. You know, you need to love it.

And I think once you fall in love with it, And there is no pain. Well, sky's the limit. I mean, you're 51 years old now. You could probably still knock a lot of motherfuckers out and still wrestle. But I think, let me tell you what happens. I think when you look at the tape, you go, I'm not doing that no more.

No, I'm a different guy now also. You know, the things I did, you know, people, you know, I'm always been very nice. But you know, to a certain point. and you know you have these guys who suddenly think that you're afraid of them you know when you say

hey listen we don't need to fight here you know and then you do it again and you do it again because why would I want to fight that this guy is not going to be anything to me but now he starts thinking that you're afraid so now he turns it up and then always this conversation goes like

dude I hope you're not thinking I'm afraid of you you think I'm afraid of you I'm afraid to beat the crap out of you that's why I'm afraid of because I will do that there's no way you're going to win this and all that you know, in the early days when something happened, I was right in there.

You know, of course, I was nice. I was nice again. Third time, that was it. Now I got much more control. Now I can let it go for seven times, you know, and I really still walk away until they put their hands on me, you know, but that hasn't happened a long time. At 15 years, nobody ever did that. And I'm really good with talking as well.

I was a bouncer in Holland. And the reason I was a bouncer was because I, nine out of ten times, I solved the problem, you know, without fighting. And that's why they wanted me. I was wearing my glasses at the time I was wearing glasses as a bouncer. But, you know, I just talked to everybody and just, hey, what's going on here? And then once they hear, once they explain themselves what the reason is they're fighting, they realize it's really stupid because it's always stupid, you know, and then you say, are you kidding? Just think about that. And I give him a beer, give the other guy a beer, fight will be over. Now, if somebody will keep pushing, you know, then I wanted to make sure that everybody was going

to find out about it. So then I would just go to tower on the guy because I would set an example. Then people go like, yeah, he's really nice, but the last time we saw that he was headbutting the guy like five, six times in the face. You know, because I would do that on purpose because the headbutters are very, for people when they look at that, they think you're a complete psychopath. And I know that. So, you know, then if somebody was a really bad guy, like a guy had an ashtray in his girl's face, yeah, now you're going to get five head. But But, you know, that doesn't look pretty for people who are watching. But that's a different guy, you know.

So when I realized I was, you know, my wife said it. She said, could you do it? I said, oh, no. I'm, you know, yeah, if they attack me, yeah, I'll go all the way again. I don't care about that. But I was just a different person, you know, you grow old like we all do. And you start thinking about live. You go like, huh, yeah, I would solve the problem, probably different right now.

I'm talking about last week. I was talking to Rogan. He showed me tape on Bernard Hopkins. Unbelievable this guy's turning 52 in January. You know, okay, he's the same Bernard Hopkins I became a fan of. And the thing I've always liked about Bernard Hopkins is what Earl, I can't remember his name, is the guy who taught Kaju Kembo down here. And I told you it was the Cascis student.

Okay. His main philosophy is, why am I blocking you? Yeah. Why am I wasting all this fucking time in blocking you? Let's just do this. Let's just make believe I'm moving and you're missing me. Yeah. And his main thing on his style, which I can't remember now,

it was Kajie Kempel. They called it something else, which, you know, there's a thousand fucking names, was basically, it was evasive, it was all based on range, and it was all based on. not getting touched. I remember when I would have conversation with him,

he'd always go, I never see UFC fighting that they really cut in angles like they should. Like the Filipino. But you see that's a karate guy. Right. Wonder boy Thompson. Right.

He's got great distance. Great distance. Distance man is the most important in fighting. Anderson Silver had also. Great, yeah, great distance. Great distance. Yeah. So eyes on your opponent and the distance.

That's it. They're either too far away or they're too close. It's very hard to fight at the just perfect. It's just outside the range of your opponent, so you only have to move back like half an inch, and then right away you can counter again. If you can find that, that's the thing. Most of the time, you know, that happens with fighters.

When I start a fight, you will see my hands are low. And I do this on purpose because I want him to hit my head, you know. And then every time I let him miss, every time when I move backwards, I let him come a little closer. And I'm just getting used to his reach. And suddenly I'm, poof, I'm like half an inch out. Now I found this reach. You know, that's a really nice way, easy way to figure out somebody's reach.

You don't want to figure out if you fight a guy like John Jones with, what has he, 86 reach? You know, if you didn't spar with somebody with a long reach, he'll knock you out with the first punch. I mean, the difference is insane. I mean, he can literally, from this distance, but from, we're sitting right now, he can probably hit you. He can knock you out. Now, if you're used to my reach, you know, and then suddenly have that. That's a big problem. So let them throw some shots, you know, figure out the reach

and then figure out what you're going to do with it. It's a game. It's weird how people at home watch fighting, especially now with the explosion of MMA, and it's got so many different avenues, how people, these guys make it look easy. And even boxing. And they all think they can do it.

And the only think they can do it. And it's so weird how I go to lunchtime jiu-jitsu, but at least once a month, the daytime guys are talking about the night before how a guy came in said he never did jiu-jitsu before and he armed a purple belt

because during like drills arm bar a purple belt he was I thought he never did jih Tijuana before oh no I learned how to do it on YouTube you know it's well I learned watching videos and books that's how I learned with a

buddy of mine and then finally after a year of training fighting in Japan I had no sparring partners. I was training on the back. And then I found one guy. And then after my last loss, I said, you know, I'm going to have to change this. I'm going to need to know the ground game. Otherwise, I'll never be anybody with this.

And then I started training and I never lost the fight anymore. But I took it to the next level. You know, again, you want something? Well, you're going to have to do it a lot. And once you start training two times a day or three times a day, every day, you know, and being busy with it in your mind and writing down all these crazy combinations she should come up with, you know, yeah, everybody can do it. It's just finding the love for it.

You know, I still can't believe that you have fighters out there, which they will tell you before you fight them. You know, you know that if you get them on the ground, you probably can't submit it, right? I go, that should be, this guy should be disgusted with himself. Can you imagine you're that guy? Or, you know, you know, if you hit him to the body, he'll probably go down.

He already went down five times to the body. Five times? That will not happen with me after three times. I guarantee you that I'll get so angry. One time, two times maybe, but third time I don't want that to happen. It's not going to happen. You know, that's my call. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that's not going to happen.

By the way, I'm going to counter that. Now please come for it. I'm going to find every counter, everything that I can do with that special body shot. But if I don't fix it, why am you? Why are you fighting? It makes no sense. If you don't want to get better, yeah, but he armbard him again. This is a dumbass.

You'll learn the game. You know, it makes much. lots guys. That wasn't the early days. You know, you have these strikers, but you knew if you had them on the ground, boom, you won. And then, and vice versa, of course. You know why I got so much better at comedy? M.M.A.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can't say M.A. I say U.S.C. I'll tell you why, because I was just getting, I was just becoming acquainted with it, and I'd put on the countdown, or I'd watch the fights, and they'd talk about,

who was coming up next and they'd go back to the backyard and they'd show them doing all this shit and also like all right in my mind I'll bet on that guy and I'd always lose by myself I'd always get my ass kicked in the early UFC's you know what the fuck are we talking yeah because you look at bodies you look at the person how they look yeah you know if you look at a guy who's uh jolted up full with uh with royts you know as a normal person you're going to think oh he yeah you're he's going to win. And we were talking also about the people at home how they think they can fight because they see it on TV.

They see that. It is the funniest thing ever. Last time I got in there, somebody said, oh, I got a new opponent for CM Punk and he showed me a fight from a guy who was very wild. And I go, like, how many fights did you have? This guy is actually fighting. How many guys, how many fights did you have for posting that video?

I mean, to meet that guy who's in there deserves a lot of respect. Winning, losing? I don't care. You know, they're doing what they want to do. You're not doing it, but you're talking about it because you think you can beat them. These guys can't do anything. It's a shame.

It's so easy. But by a boss, if I hit him in the head, his body opens up and you can go for the body, right? Yeah, why's nobody doing it? I said, why don't you fight? Why don't you try that out one time? I had a student, and he was 38 when he started, and he was a bodybuilder, a powerlifter,

250 pounds. And the first day I told him, I said, that's got to go all. He says what? I said at least 40 pounds of muscle need to go because this is going to hold you back and he's 205, 5's a 205 right now he's now 44 had already

like 12 matches, you know, 1-9 so he's doing good, never had aspirations to become a champion. He said before I get old I want to try it I want to know how it feels to step in there so he did it that's a full MMA full MMA

God bless him though but you know what he said in the beginning he said Buzer okay so if I'm on the ground right and side mount I can knee ties right I say yeah why is nobody doing it I said I don't know maybe because of dumb because it's super effective okay yeah okay I said but you know what just wait till your first fight then he comes back a week later hey standing I can do the two right knees to the thighs what if they do you really freaking hard I say

yeah that's how they should do it but they don't you know yeah that's why it's not effective I say but just wait till you have your first fight and then it comes with another technique and as I would say every time I would say wait till you have your first fight then his first fight came right And this guy is like all technique is gone. And the one combination that we worked on so many times, you know, was a right hook to the body, keep looking down to the body like he thinks it's another body shot. Then you hit him in the head.

That one thing came back and he knocked the guy out like that. But for the rest, it was a horrible fight. So after the fight, he said, what did you think? I said, what were the knees to the thighs in the standing position and on the ground? And where was I got a crazy move? And he looks at me with a blank stare and he goes, yeah, now I know exactly what you mean. It's a different thing. You know, being a good gym fighter doesn't mean anything.

You know these guys in a gym. They work circles around the world champions. But once you put them under pressure, they can't do it. You need to, once you can control that. I saw it for years in the comedy game. Oh, yeah. I saw the switch from a city to Los Angeles. I saw it once or twice a month.

What happened to I got? He cracked at the improv. He got in the plane and went back to whatever. Let me do some shoutouts. It's crazy how it goes. Pressure, guys. Pressure is big, man. Pressure is real.

There's everything, special stand-up coming. I want to thank everybody who downloaded the new special on CISOTV.com. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. You guys know who you are, and I love you to death. Ause Warrior, David Knott, The Fire Clown, Uki, Spooky, Looking Good, One-By-One-B-B-B-B-Badcast. My man Mike, my man Matt Balthazar running fucking Sunday Sabbath. Andrew Nodal over there and fucking Nyack running things, retarded genius. And Ray Majuski.

I love you, cocktuckers. Some nice words from Joey. Yeah, these guys know I love it at that and stuff like that. Now, do you have some available now in the web now? Yeah, yeah, we have them back again. You know, the results are crazy. just tried 30 repetitions in the morning, breathing exercises with screen 10, that's it. Wait till I come out with all my medical journals, people got to freak out.

I mean, we've got four Olympic gold medalists training on it, and that's like I said, including Usain Bolt. So we're doing something good right here, and hopefully we can make it into a medical device. Hey, if you want to really give this a shot, go to A, go to 2-trainer with a capital T-trainer.com. Is that it? O2-T trainer. 02 trainer 2 trainer I can't see

without my glasses that's why you're I put my shirt It's the 800 milligrams What was it 81200 Way more than 800 Joey

I am your father I would do it every morning I drive to the ocean To swim there Do crazy exercises I'm in the car Do you always have the nose plug on No I don't

I just don't breathe in through my nose See that's what I don't like Because that's the habit I got to Yeah. But somebody told me, you know, but then I'm cheating. I said, then you're cheating the one person in the world that you should never cheat yourself. So just don't breathe in through your nose. That's it.

Lee, what kind of changes? You're going to go to shoot tonight, Lee. Answer me. You're sweating. You're wiping your forehead. What happened? No, I'm fine, though. Let's go through some deep changes.

Medium changes. You know I love you. I ain't going to say, don't know. Do you hear voices? only in Spanish No I don't know No I feel for him It's hard

I've had blood to him As long as you're hot You had me nervous there for a second I know you're going some deep Deep deep deep deep Mother fucking change just today So I just want you to be alright You when we call the hospital

Man let's look at another three or four more red stars for us We're gonna open up the week big Lisa Yeah, it's over. Absolutely. Who gives a Frenchman's fuck anymore. You understand me? First off, this company made me a suit, and I never went down to pick it up.

So I got to go down there this week. I got to go down there maybe Thursday. I'm going to call the girl tomorrow. I promise you because it was a tremendous experience, okay? I don't know if you guys wear suits or not, but it's the holidays. Plus, you might have to go to court, plus you might get a D.

Plus, you might have to go to a fucking wedding. Excuse me. Plus, plus, plus, plus. Bitches, you got to get a suit. Even my Goombali over here. Didn't have a suit. I talked him into it. Now he's got a suit for every fucking occasion. Because, you know, there's times you can dress like a bum,

and there's times you need to dazzle, motherfucker. So they can't see you. Listen, you don't want to see... You don't want them to see you coming. Stop it. Stop it. That was nice, huh? Anyway, you don't want people to see you come.

You want to fucking show up looking something good. Conor McGregor. Like today, a fucking church. I wore a nice suit. Why? Because I wanted to impress my fucking daughter. Not to impress those fucking yokels. Anyway.

Colin McGregor. It looks great in suits. Tremendous. Shoots are great. Now, was it a made-to-measure suit? Not really. But the guy put the fucking finish and touches on it, it looks okay. I don't know what you guys know what a fucking measured suit feels like

compared to a generic off-the-rack suit. suit. Okay, but I know one thing I do know about my personal experience with Indochino, okay? I went down there, they measured me up, they showed me the different materials. It was something out of this world. You know why? Because Indochino is one of the largest made to measure men's wear brands. They're making it easy for men to get great fitting, high quality suits and shirts at an incredible price. Here's how it works. Excuse me, you go to Indochino. or drop by one of their nine North American showrooms. You pick from hundreds of fabrics and patterns, okay?

I did it. Right down there on Beverly Hills, you choose your customizations from lapels to pleats to jacket linings to more. You submit your body measurements. You kickback, relax, and get ready to step into the best, most stylish suit you've ever worn in just four weeks. You understand me?

This week, can get any premium Indochino suit for just 389 at Indochino.com when entering church. C-H-U-R-C-H. You don't want to show up

her grandmas wearing that stupid fucking gray shirt again, do you? You want to show up banging with a fucking suit? Whatever. Anyway, do yourself a favor with the holidays. What I'm going to do is this. That's fit.

389 is basically 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Plus, shipping is free. Who's better than Uncle Joey? That's Indochino.com promo code church, C-H-U-R-C-H, for any premium suit for just $3.89 with free shipping. Indochino also has amazing holiday deals right now on their shirts, pants, and other products, too. You'll never have to worry about looking like a bum with badly fitting suits or expensive trips to the tailor again Get ready to look like a million dollars. All right.

Again, go to Indochino.com slash Joey. I'm going to take good care of it. Oh, Indochino.com slash church. We're going to take good care of you. You know who's going to take good care of you? Listen, people, let's get the ball going, okay? you're what 12 13 days away from Christmas maybe what was today's day it's the 11th the 11th all right tomorrow's Monday that's the 12th so in reality you got 12 maybe 11 days 13 days to

pick up a paycheck okay how are you going to put it together what are you going to do to go dance at a bar you can barely walk people throw apples at you and shit what are you going to do guy what are you going to do walk around and go down and stand online to get picked and work the holidays days away. Even if you get picked, you're going to get a fucking check in the mail. Nothing bals me more than the checking the mail around the holidays. After it's 10th, it's all about cash and dollar. I got an idea for you, right? I'm going to tell you a smart way to earn extra money and get $500 bonus driving with lift, okay? Listen, you're in between jobs and you're looking to earn some extra money. You're looking to put some money away for college, right? You're

going back to school yourself. You want to get another degree or your first one. You're writing the next great American novel and looking for inspiration. You know, you're someone who loves to drive. You're someone who just plain loves people. If any of these things fit you, lift is the way for you to go, all right? Here's what they go. They got other ride-sharing apps out there, but Lyft treats their driver's right. It's a flexible way to make money anytime from nearly anywhere,

All you need is a car. Lift drivers can make up to $35 an hour, and getting started is just a tap away. That means you could be driving tomorrow. You can drive mornings. You can drive nights. You can drive weekends. You can flip into a driver mode and start making money.

Plus, lift drivers can earn tips right through the app. Those app ads, let me tell you something. Those add up real fast. And you don't have to wait days or weeks to get paid. There's what I'm talking about. The holidays are common. You can cash out instantly once you've made $50. Thanks to express pay.

All right. Dry and Wood Lift is super flexible. Listen, you're an insomnia? What are you going to do? Sit down? I watch a bunch of movies. Listen, get the fucking car. You get out there, you earn, whatever.

It's better than sitting there and watching TV like a Momo. This is flexible as can be. Sign up today at lift.com slash jrash. Joey. Again, right now, Lyft has a special offer for all our listeners. You get $500, all right? $500 new driver bonus after you complete 100 rides in 30 days. You can do that standing on your head, okay? Go to live.com slash Joey today, and you can start making extra money and get your $500

new driver bonus today. Limited time only. Get your action together. Restrictions apply, but the party starts right now, all right? And also, listen, you're looking for the holiday gift? You're sitting there scratching your ass going, what am I going to get for this guy? I just started dating him.

We had sex a few times. And after I got up, I noticed there was a weird odor in the room. What am I going to get to this guy? Oh shit! Hello-tushy.com, motherfuckers! I started dating this girl. And she's tremendous, but every time she leaves the house, my dog won't stop sneezing. It smells like rotten ass.

Hello, Tushy.com, bitches. Bidays are back. Devices that spray your butt clean with water. I grew up with a bidet in my house, and I got to tell you something. It was tremendous. Well, guess what? Thanks to Tushy sleek bidet that clips on to your existing toilet and sprays your butt completely clean. with fresh water to get your muffler sparkling, all right?

Listen, so you're not sitting there on bacteria-causing haemorrhoids, yeast infections, and just plain old rotten ass. Listen, why do this to you stuff? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Why sit there like a mook fucking eight hours a day, your assholes rotting the death? Hell no. You go to your bathroom, you do what you got to do,

you turn the bidet on, and guess what? Your life becomes a fucking reality. It's a dream. that's what bidet is do to you. They give you confidence. They wash your butt. They wash the back of your scrotum. You could dip your helmet in there.

Whatever the hell you got to do. Hello Tushy's going to save the day, bitches. And guess what? Hello Tushy is a tremendous motherfucking Christmas gift. How's that one for you? You're confused. You don't know what to get them. Everybody needs a clean asshole.

Am I lying? Everybody needs a clean asshole. That's why I tell you what you're going to do. You're going to go to hellotushy. dot com right now and on the way out you get 10% off by putting church ch-U-R-C-H listen but days are better for the environment anyway there's no paper more trees okay this Tushy only requires one pint of water plus you have a 60-day guarantee okay what are you gonna do you're gonna keep walking around with that rotten fucking muffler go to hello

tushy dot com right now and put in church C-H-U-R-C-A-C-A-R-C-A-A and get 10% off. Merry Christmas to you, motherfuckers. That's the fucking stocking stuff for the year. Anyway, I want to thank Lyft. Go to Lyft right now. Lift.com and get a fucking job. Don't make me tell you again.

Hellotushy.com slash church. And the best part about Lyft is, is you're making money on those 100 rides. So you're making an extra 500, but you're making a ton of money on those hundred rides. Listen, guys, get it together, all right? I just gave you, you broke, you're sitting there, you thumb up your ass.

What'd you buy that car for a look at it? I got a nice car. Well, not what are you going to do with it? You got nobody are banging there. Where do you got to go? Where they got to go? Live.com, correct? That's it.

Live.com. Slash Joey. Slash Joey. And what's the other one? C-H-U-Indochino. Indochino. Endocino. Dot com.

I love you, motherfuckers. See you guys Tuesday morning. Onet, too. And we want to thank Onet.com right now. Another tremendous holiday stuff. Go to Honor right now and press in. Church. Bam!

C-H-U-R-C-H. Get 10% off, shipped directly to the house on supplements only. I love you guys. See you motherfuckers Wednesday morning.

Stay black. You're what crazy guy, my friend. Thank you.