The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #440 - Jorge Masvidal

Episode Date: December 19, 2016

Jorge Masvidal, a UFC Welterweight division fighter, who similar to Joey, is of Cuban descent, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 2 months free. Watch Joey's Special, "Sociably Unacceptable" Now!   Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order and shipping is always free in the US and Canada.    Helix Sleep: Go to helixsleep.com/JOEY to get $50 off of your order off your custom mattress.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 12/18/2016.

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is here. Monday morning, cocksuckers. Here you go. The church of what's happened now. St. Lazaro's weekend, the 17th of December and shit. They've forgotten shit. You're saying, Joey, what the fuck is going on here? What's the Spanish music? Lee Syatt, George Mazzewawe, and your uncle Joey B is, cock suckers.

What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here, my main man, Lee Syatt. Jorge Mazda Vaughan, the house. What's happening, Doug? What's up, man? Pleasure to be here, man. It's a pleasure to have you here. I saw you this weekend on Fox coaching that fucking savage.

Yes. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, that kid won't stop. He doesn't stop. He's like that every day in practice. Insane Cardo. How old is he? 26, 27?

Wow. Beach Cardo. I mean, like, I've been on a lot of. over the world grappling with from Abu Dhabi champions. Every, every, every, every discipline of, of grappling that's, that the dude is good. And like, I've wrestled with national champions, with judo guys that have done really well in the Olympics, got in bronze medals, silver medals, and Grego guys. And this guy has some of the most insane endurance of ever that I've ever seen, you know?

To do that for 15 minutes, like all grapplers know how hard it is to hold somebody down. They get nine minutes of riding time. and somebody knows how to wrestle back into you, it's so draining of energy. And he just has it naturally. You know, he's just a goer. He just kept pushing and going for takedowns. And it's relentless.

And that's one of the most tiring things. Yeah, like just takedowns. And you know if you throw a hand now or you throw a foot, you don't know when this savage is going to go down. I mean, he shoots. He was shooting it, motherfucker. Driving, driving through the... Oh, my God.

You watch him, Lee? I watched the... main event i which which what are you talking about covey covington versus uh brian barborena i think that was on the undercard right yeah yeah yeah no i didn't catch that one and it's funny because before the show started we were talking about how you know i'm a lot older than hoi and the Cubans i grew up with like the ones that were 40 and 50 i wasn't allowed to hang out with people with beards like if i walked in with a guy with a beard my mom would pull me aside and tell me get that guy out of the room he's bad luck Fidel was bad luck

They just All Cubans in the 70s Had prejudices against people With fucking beards Today those revolutionary Cubans If you brought them back They'd be going crazy

Oh yeah Everybody's got a beard They lose their fucking mind They move They go back to Cuba They couldn't take it I swear to God If you walked in to around my mom

When she gambled And you had a beard Let's say she bet the Yankees And the score was 5-0 And she was winning And you walked in with a beard she'd go fucking ape shit you understand me now she'd blame them

if they lost yes the james that motherfucker with the beard that motherfucker with the beard fucked me up and shit that's how serious it was like they'd get like this awa what's the perfume every Cuban has at the house that one for the babies yeah oh I'm gonna tell your name right now

there's two of them violetta violetta violetta all right there's violetta and then there's the other one awa something you spread it when the spirit is coming to visit you throw it up in the ear. It's got the flowers on it. It's white.

And they come... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the stuff. That's the stuff that they fucking whammy. They put it on themselves, and they go like that with their finger and shit. I thought you know and see him. I'm like, how are you going to someone?

And every Chinese guy is bad luck. When the old school Cubans, the revolutionaries, if a Chinese guy came in the room, he was bad luck. Again, it didn't matter what... particular Asian denomination or what's all it's all chino Korean fucking Chinese Japanese oh it's like I met the chino chin no oh my god it's the same thing for fighting my coach my my head coach is born and raising Cuba came here he defected to

Ecuador and then he came to to Miami so he's used had his whole life over there so to this day he's one of the most superstitious persons I've ever met if you ever seen him in my corner he always had something yellow on he'll have something yellow on his body now rebuck gives him a lot of trouble for this because he had his own scully cap for 10 years that he wore the all my fights it's yellow and now they don't let him wear it because it was a rebuck so he he went and bought a rebecca one that's like an old with the old designer rebok they won't let him use it so he's been going crazy to put something on his head that is yellow this this is not me just being funny it's documented footage you can see it on all my fights before the rebuck he'd always had something yellow

on his head and if he didn't we would have to get it from he it wasn't me it was him no no no no no we're not gonna no no we're gonna no we're a fight oh yeah I gotta go to the store I get in the end now and then we're in a sombrero bro we're in Korea you know bro find your hat no no we need my hat now

and I couldn't fight if he didn't have that yellow still to this day he'll have something on yellow always how long have you been with him 12 12 13 years now how much does he make you laugh oh see still to this day to everybody that meets him, he's the funniest dude in the planet. And plus he has a stereo for every dude I'm going to fight, depending where they're from,

he already knows how to fight the dude, you know? If you're fighting a Russian dude, you don't hit those guys in the chin because they're really strong. You got to go for the body. You got to go for the body. If you fight Japanese people, all of them are lactose and tonal. You got to hit him in the body. This is what he tells me because I've been a kid. I've been hearing this.

If you fight black people, you got to chop them in the legs because they're fast. and they don't like getting kicked in the leg. You got to go for the legs. This is known facts, you know? This is what every Cuban culture tell you. Guys, you understand. You know, when I think of laughter, I think of growing up in my mother's bar

and listening to all these little fucking anecdotes that they had and just leaving the room with tears of my eyes. Now, the superstitions, go ahead, Lee. Was it an accident that you got a Cuban coach or did you purposely seek it out? I mean the environment it's it's it's all Cuban you know so it was uh it's all my coaches are Cuban and just yeah okay good what like was it is it important to you because I know I know it

just seeing you guys together for five minutes it's it's amazing to see the connection no I definitely have like uh like I would want if the best coach in the fighter was was Cuban I would want to be with him but when I started I was just like let me let me just get get the best guy that could teach me you know i didn't care where he was from it just happens to be that he's cuban and he's awesome and when did he defect here he defected uh like 16 years ago he defected to um what's this place with coachabamba is uh columbia no not columbia um ecuador bolivia bolivia he went to chile then he went to bolivia he uh got a lady pregnant had two kids with it and he brought them over here and that's it he started his career here you know and he's a great coach he

coaches cobi as well he coaches uh joel romero and he has a couple of the guys that are up and coming you know so but he has the cuban mentality all the straight cuban mentality which is he yeah the the cuban boxing and he was in the team for taekwondo so that was what he started he did taqwendo he actually has like a he has a couple world medals in taekwondo he's one of the first cubans they get like a medal in taekwendo from cuba When I grew up, I was surrounded with this one Cuban dude, and he used to tell me, no, a nal a month, I got to complaic it.

And you want me to say something? When I got arrested, I got arrested for something I had done on a Tuesday. So I always think about that motherfucker. When I was a kid, he'd always say, don't do nothing heavy on a Tuesday. You're going to get complicated. Tuesdays are not good days for Cubans. Yeah.

That's so much superstition. There's so much. Before you even leave that front door, your mom is telling you something and something else, and then it's, you know, when you step outside of that world and you have like regular people friends, it's like,

what the fuck is wrong with your family, man? I wouldn't bring people all my house. I could not bring people all my house as a child. Till today, when I see people, they go, hey, how are you doing? They're like, man, I still remember your house, your mom going in there

and there was a fucking, my mom had an altar. I mean, when you open the door, okay, there was a fucking, table, not a little altar. Like, I have a little altar with three glasses on there. I'm supposed to have seven or 22 glasses. I ain't got that many glasses, you know what I'm saying? I'll give you three. I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you three.

I'll put the pictures of you up and I'll light a candle every Monday. And we're even, okay? Take that. And I give her a what? Some grain alcohol. Every Monday, stick to my goods. I was raised on that. I saw how important it was to my mom on Mondays. On Mondays, whatever she would cook, she would feed the fucking spirits first oh yeah it's it's it's it's fucking it's crazy it's surreal it's surreal and you sit there as a kid and you're embarrassed you can't bring your friends over yeah because uh you know um

you'd have like a bunch of food and fruits too like the ones that do it big like the ones that were bawling getting rid of the keys every month they're the ones that had the biggest shrines the biggest altars and you would get to and you'd be like why is your $300 worth of food in front of this statute what the fuck is going on when i was six years old i couldn't understand I was like, what the fuck is this? Don't touch the food. Don't touch the food, whatever you do. Do not touch the fruit.

Don't touch anything. Listen, dog. My mother had a six-foot San Lazer on the living room, and the thing around his head was made of gold. Real gold. Real gold, okay. When I was a kid, I'd open up the door upstairs to go get milk, and I thought it was somebody in my living room.

You understand? I could not bring people to. in my house. She had a table with an altar with 20 million glasses and then that table was and they're like, wah, a gung a fucking gun, money, and it was closed

and then you walked in the house and there was a six-foot fucking St. Lazar on the left-hand side and then you went upstairs and then that closet, you open up that closet, God fucking forbid. You know, downstairs, the same thing. They had like a mini altar. When you

walked into my mother's barring, you didn't city and you open the door in the corner was an altar with Santa Barbara in the corner. Done. Done. That's distort. And on the 4th of December, on the 3rd of December, it was on. I was telling my wife today, that's it. This officially is Cuban season.

And in my world, how I grew up after San Lazaro, that don't stop until the 7th of January. That's when they give you cash. It don't stop. It's food and comelata and the night before. Christmas that I think it's either the 23rd is when they stay up all night and cook the pig and they drink and they pray and they listen to music and they talk about the old country then they sleep and they get ready for fucking Christmas Eve it's a fucking it's crazy this man I still can't get over not touching the food and the fruits and stuff

especially when my friends will come over like what's going on with your arm what she got all this shit out here for like don't touch it if you touch it we're all that don't touch it I never touched the fruit. I hated when they killed the chicken, and then they cooked the chicken, but they left the L.A.W. With the feathers on top of it.

And then they would feed the fucking L.A. Wow, real food. That one I never saw. Oh, that's the real deal, Holyfield. That's where I grew up. And sometimes they'd do it in the bathroom. We had to pee outside. I would go in there with the fucking chicken

and the feathers would be crazy. I'm not going in there. So one of the earliest memories I have of Santeria is my mom. we were living on we moved to 205 West 88th Street but before that we lived on Riverside Motherfucking Drive

there was a dentist in the building I mean we were really cute and this is the 69 1970 and one day she had to sacrifice a goat dog and she brought the whole goat like a baby one or her yeah like the baby goat

and I never forget being a kid and her walking with the goat into the elevator and there were like three white business people And the goat put the brakes on, where he locked his arms. Like, I'm not going in the elevator. My mom dragged that motherfucker on the elevator and those people were petrified.

They were petrified. That's when you know you're a Cuban savage when you bring a fucking goat home dog. What type of trauma does that do to you as a kid? As a six-year-old kid, you're like, is my mom right or are these people just retarded? I had no idea. I had no idea. What's going on? I had no idea.

See, I was raised real Catholic. Like, well, I don't have to bat. You know, when I was growing up, Telemundo had a show about Samadine de Porre. So as I was learning to speak English, I would still watch this show about this little black saint. He was the original Kung Fu. He would travel.

He just wouldn't beat nobody up. He would just heal people. So I dug the Catholicism thing. I always dug the Catholicism thing, but I was a sickly kid. My dad had died. So I was always from fucking day one, the threat in my house was, if you misbehaved, they were amonga. That was the threat in my house, which meant if you fuck around, I will take you to the nuns.

And that lights out. What I do to you is mild what the nuns are going to do to you. So in my world, from kindergarten to the third grade, I was threatened with the fucking nuns. In the third grade, they finally fed me to the nuns. And they fed me Cuban style, where you go on Sunday. and come back home on Thursdays. Oh. First they were going to send me to Loyola Academy in Miami.

And I was going to stay down there with them and go. It's a military academy when I was a kid. Is it still there? I don't think so. That was the big one in Miami. That when you went in on, if you went in there, you came on Uso Dow. By I'm going to get in here. When I send you down there, you're going back a soldier.

That was always the threat. You fuck up, I will send you the fucking Rodolfo's and you will go to Loyola and you'll come out of there and you'll come out of there and you'll sendo by the Hesito. Yeah, that was always the threat which I was okay with. That wasn't a bad deal for me at that time.

But the eminent threat was La Monja. Okay, that was the first treatment. The second treatment is I'll send you away, Yop. You don't want to, you don't want to listen to me, I'll send you to Loyola, you come out, and you're going to bea and then you come out and you become

a boado and you protect all my criminal buddies it was fucking crazy so that was my two options so they finally in the third grade they put me when I'm Monsa and for the whole school year probably you went in on from September to June in the Spanish Mujahs so they didn't let you have no no they were Italian Mungahs even worse and they fucking and half the student body fucking monghas was a major threat growing up bro that was terribly that's like probably the equivalent of sending you to some fucking Jewish school where they can backhand you. Is that exist?

I'm sure it does somewhere. Yeah, there's got to be like a junior rabbi school. Like a radical judicious. Where they fucking rip your ear apart and shit. So what are monkas? Monga is a nun. Oh, okay. A nun.

And also a $5 a bill. Oh, yeah, I'm a mona. It's also a $5 dollar bill. So it doubles. And so wait, so you're saying... Do you know that back here? A moleong her is a fighter. So if I come to you on oil,

I'm on Amonga, that's $5. You'd rather go to a military academy. At that point, I didn't want to go get beat up by nuns. But the problem with the military academy was, it was in Miami. I didn't mind going away for school. But I was a mama's boy, dog. I wanted to be close to moms.

Who doesn't? So the one in Jersey was 20 minutes away. She could bring me shit during the week, and she picked me up on Thursday. There's no big fucking. deal that's it chill for la monas thursday through i wouldn't have done it they would have kicked me out i got i got the same threat because my half of my family's catholic so that side when i'd be with them on the

weekends or whatever whatnot if i was getting wild there was the same threat you think this is a game we'll send you over there they'll fucking take you for free and we'll never see you again until you're like 18 years old i'll be like no fuck i'm not gonna go there and then the other side was christian the other side no the other side was uh catholic and then mix with the usual Cuban mythologies, you know? I love that, Joe, you were so bad at three and four that you were going to that school.

Was that an exit door? No, it was when I got the kindergarten that the threat started. I got the kindergarten, I just, you know, my dad had died. And my mom, I was a mama's boy, and she had a bar, George. She wasn't there. What the fuck?

No, she brought me to the bar. They're Cuban. There's no daycare of Cubans. No day care. You know, they stay with your brima or you go to the fucking job. Oh, you go to the job, and you sit there, and if you fucking move, I'll stab me in the fucking neck. So I would be in the bar with her, and I would hear these old school Cubans talking, and I would how. They would say things to me.

I would fucking die a laughter. Till this day, I think, you know, meando Uso, you know, shit like that. They tell you this shit when you're tender, you just blush. Oh, yeah. There's a, from being around different cultures, not just because it's our own culture, but human people are fucking hilarious. Hilarious. Especially the old-timers and shit.

How I got to recognize you is I'm watching fucking UFC one night. Mind in my own business. I'm a little stoned, whatever. You know what I'm saying? I might hear things. You know, sometimes you just hear things.

Sometimes I hear my mother's voice. Who the fuck noise? And I'm watching this kid fight and he's moving around. Oh, yeah, man, they don't know. Yeah, and I'm watching you and I'm going, whatever. I was Puerto Rican kid. I don't even know.

Who are you fighting or whatever? But I heard, you know, Dala la lao. Metta Lungay Etaso. Now, for people, for the untrained die, like I told Joe Rogan, metta Lungayadaso is the weirdest fucking thing in the world for a coach to say. But it's the attitude that that word means. Ungayadoso is an open hand smack. Right to the face.

Right to the fucking face. Metalunga Yadazzo, you know, he would say those type of. And I'd be at home howling. I was telling me the last thing I went to Jiu-Jitsu at night one night. I had a meeting of the daytime that bothered me. I like going to J-Jitsu on Monday because at least I got a number on Monday. I went in once. If you wait till Tuesday, then something happened Wednesday,

and you don't go till Thursday, and now you're all fucked up. So if you could go on Monday, the J-Jitsu is nice. I couldn't go on the Monday, and it was eaten away at me. So I went to the 6.30 class. The 6.30 class is a little mixed. It's not as big. The savages. don't get that to 8.30.

There was two kids throwing each other around like they were at the UFC. When I'm talking, picking each other up and body slamming each other. And finally, the coach even goes to a professor, goes, guys, guys, what do you think this is? The kid popped up, his nose is bleeding.

The coach is like, you got to knock it off, man. He goes, he's my brother. He needs to toughen up. The kid walks off the map, the little 12-year-old. is fixing his geek he looks up at me goes you want to go you know I looked at him and then I told that when I went to class Wednesday I told professor a professor how you how fucked up was that there then I goes no no no no no it gets better their mom

dropped them off in here a week ago she had a call 9-1-1 on them twice because they tore up the living room wrestling and throwing each other around they broke up the living room they're fucking savages nice when I was a kid and I ran with little Cuban kids. That's what we did. Yeah. We threw ourselves. When I go to Miami in the house, look, you didn't do it in the house.

You get extinction level. You didn't ever do something like that. I started out of the house. You did all. Oh, yeah. When Charles Bronson, when you're Cuban, then you first see Charles Bronson. You know, that's another thing. Like the dog.

Did your parents have the couches with the plastic on it? Absolutely. You couldn't fuck around there. No, no, no, no. Touches. I broke my mother's Chinese dog. Oh. So the deal.

I either had to pay for the dolls, which cleaned out my account, or I had to give up my dentists. I used to suck pacifiers when I was five and six. Yeah, I think that's another Cuban thing. To keep my head together. Yeah, I would keep doing like a cigarette. Like I would have them hidden all over the place. And if something happened that was heavy, I'd call a timeout. And I'd go suck my pacifier and put it down.

That's like I had cousins to like 10 years old. They were still with the pacifier. So my mom goes, listen, the deal is. Either you pay for them or you have to give up all your pacifies. I must have had 20 of them stashed all around the house. I'd be watching TV and just go on the couch, suck it and put it back. Disgusting. But that's what happens when you're a fucking kid.

That's a good one. Oh my God, I did some crazy. Do you have some in the fridge? No, nothing in the fridge. My son likes his in the fridge. I keep his in the fridge. It was, I was always the odd family on the block. Because of my mother, her savagery ways.

Her, her Wahito ways. The Wahito ways. Did you grow up in a Wahito house? My dad and his family, they're from La Lana, but his father, they're from the country. But they were all raised in the city. But no, it's like an attitude. Yeah, but they were more like, I don't know what I would say. I don't know what you mean by Wahiro, just like Bruda, like she doesn't see anything.

No creed nobody. She's just, it's her way and only that way. There's a scene in Scarface that's very funny because I grew up with a guy that that was his dream. He came from Cuba. Oh, yeah, but a blam cali la, compa. Like, that's all he spoke about was a Kaila.

Like, it was such a simple dream. You know what I'm saying? There's a scene in Scarface when he goes to pick her up. And she goes, what's that? He goes, it's a Cadillac. That was him. At that moment, I always thought about that dude

that all he wanted was a, motherfucking Cadillac. Oh, I grew up around Cubans that thought Steve McQueen. Oh, you're going to be in Brunsson. Cuin. Cua. Yeah. Then they accused him of being Cuban and shit.

Oh my God. So you just came from Sacramento, you cornered, whatever. Now you got Soroni. Seroni. January 28th, Denver, Witness Execution Live. And you headlined the card. No, Coleman event. Who's on the other side?

I think the main event is Julianna Pena versus I can't pronounce other girls' names, so I'm not even going to butcher. Janko, it's one of those. Yeah, it's like Russian. I don't want to mess it up, and then she beats me up, so I'm not even going to try. You've been on the road lately? Always, man. Always on the road.

Traveling, training, something. No, I'm talking about the last one, Jake Ellenberger. Who did you fight before that? Oh, I thought you said I was on the road. No, I'm on the road. Oh, no. my bad i thought he said in the road uh before that was uh ross pution okay so you went after this this serroney fight you called them out on twitter and shit yeah i just i just wanted to get it done um

i don't know he's always telling everybody in the public that he'll fight anybody any place a couple chances that came up that he could have fought me earlier it didn't happen now it's materialized now hopefully thank god it happens january 28th and you're ready to rock i'm ready to rock right now today like if he came in through that door he was like hey let's do a little sparring session let's go right down the parking lot heads getting taken off you know he's a good dude he's a good dude he's a good dude he's a good dude i'm sure but this is it man you're it you're on the way up which is fucking amazing like uh i saw the hard work for a few years you know i didn't know you personally but we always talk about you you know we always like as he fight and who's he fighting

this is it this is the fucking world stage right now It's such a weird fucking career, but I compare it a lot to comedy. There's so many fucking comparisons. You know what I'm saying? It's brutal. Well, I always tell people, I got better at comedy from watching MMA. Because the worst thing about MMA is when you like a fighter, and he wins by knockout. All right?

He wins by three knockouts straight. And then he's going to fight. Like they put him up against a big fighter. and then on the countdown, he says, dog, I don't think, wait till I get my hands in my right's really going to knock him out. And he goes in there with that same attitude, and then he goes in there with that, that the guy wasn't expecting.

So that's why I got into Jitsu. I never wrestled nothing. I played basketball, dog. I don't know about fucking Jiu Jitsu, smelling people's feet, fucking people's assholes on your ears. I need that shit in my life. You put your ass in my face, we're going to fight, dog. We got a fucking fight.

When I first got into the UFC, and I would see like a dude trying to get a Camor and trying to fucking put his asshole over your face and trying to pull your shoulder. I would tap and I'd shoot you. Like, I'd come back with a gun and shoot John Mazagadi. Everybody would get shot.

What's the thing about the mama telling when I didn't get cullo, the I'll tea bag. It's, uh, I didn't understand it. But M.M.A helped me realize that I had to write, I had a storytell. I had to use different ones. weapons bro I was going up there and doing Rodney danger field it's funny for six minutes

after that like we're not going anywhere we're not going nowhere you came in here with the right hook again you didn't train you trained but you came in here you didn't learn a fucking a triangle you didn't learn how to fucking you got to know it all you have to and you have to go in there with a different weapon going there with a different weapon that he ain't even thinking about that you could do you know the The last fight, she went in there with the jumping fucking Bruce Lee front kick. She knocked the girl out last night. The karate-hati flipped over her shoulder like nothing happened.

It choked her. You follow me? Nobody prepares for the... And Winkle John probably prepared her for the unexpected. Let's see where the fuck she's going to go here and the plan worked. The little Chinese girl stuck to her. La China. La China.

There we go. Nachina's good. some of you y'all right now joey she's japanese latina if you're in the room till they're who leo right cubans love jewish people oh yeah the jubins no no they loved kijs this guy's a jubin yeah no he's official he's been a jubin what was your first clue what's your first yeah because most people don't think i look like one jubin or yeah jubin yeah well i i knew a jubin because he had said it already before we got here oh okay that was the first clue It's a I look at that in A as fucking hard man

Like six days a week training you know You got a family yeah it all fucking It just it's fun though Oh it's tremendously fun so much fun But you've been doing it for like you have like 82 fights No no I wish I had about 40 40 fucking fights But you started in people's backyards Started in the backyards

Well I started really my dad and he's so proud of you know Cuban fathers day like if if your son has like a decent arm in baseball and he does like 60s telling everybody my son he's going to the majors throwing 90 miles per hour as you know how the parents are so my dad is to this day when we go to like to a house party and he's talking to the people you don't remember I used to take him to the daycare he was getting kicked out two daycares a week he would always say that since the daycare was getting kicked out for fighting I don't remember any of that because I'm too young but that's that's like his proud moments I don't even know why he's part of that shit, you know,

but he said since I was like two, three years old, I was fighting. And then in high school fights? Yeah, a couple. In high school, not too much. But I knew I wanted to fight those. Since I was like in middle school, I knew I was either going to do boxing or wrestling, one or the two. And then I seen this thing on TV called UFC that changed my life. I was like, yo, I got to do that shit.

And that's it. I'm here. And what was the first thing you joined, karate, jiu-jitsu? Boxing and wrestling. I joined them both around the same time. And when then the clone fucking kicks come in? When I got with Balino, my coach, he's the one. See, I used to, the street mentality was like if you kick you're a girl, no offense.

If you kick, you're a chick, that's for chicks. Chicks kick. Dude's punch, you know, and slam people. You can't be doing that jiu-jitsu stuff or nothing. So everything I had to like deep program myself, like learn how to kick and jiu-jitsu is cool. I could do it too, you know, things like that. But at first I used to just think boxing and wrestling only. And the backyard stuff, do you get paid for that in the beginning?

I put money up of, we would bet money, you know? That was the thing you would do is I would have like, let's say you believed in me. You're like, yo, I'm going to bet money for you, Georgia. I want to put $5,000 anybody on that side, want to match. And that's how the best would go down. So me and my friends would get together and come up with X, Y, Z dollars, and same thing on the other side. And like that, I did a whole mess of those.

And how many people on those cards? Not that many. Sometimes there'd be a couple of fights. When I fought, God rest of the soul, Kimball fought too. And I think another fight happened as well. How fucking crazy is that just fighting outside? It's crazy. It's crazy when you think about it.

At the moment, it's not that crazy. But there was people that were guns. If somebody felt like his boy got ripped off, shit could happen. In that sense, it was crazy. But the actual fight wasn't. wasn't too bad that is just fucking nuts this like the just the documentaries that i saw on the black neighbors and all that shit and kimbo slice that's fucking crazy yeah it just blows my mind when he used to watch like what and i get it bro i get it it it's tremendous i think

it's a great fucking idea it's a great stress reliever and i think it's been happening places just nobody ever put it on tape yeah it's been going on for years oh for sure just Nobody put it on in gyms, bro. You go to most gyms, they're fucking battles in there. They don't know about fucking brain surgery or playing with a ball. They know nothing. They go in there and they fucking fight their lives out.

When I was a kid, I grew up with the gamios. And the gamio family, the father was a fighter in Cuba. And he had two boys, and they ran the PAL. They were two Cuban kids. There's a kid now on Facebook. Carlos Neri and his brother, they were all golden-gris. love dudes and I remember talking to the gamios and the Cuban mentality uh he trained those kids compared to the other ones he took him somewhere to a tournament woke him up in three in the

morning and made him run the other coaches thought he was fucking crazy but four the kids won't gold medal you know yeah the mentality is different yeah no especially in in cuban boxing Olympic history we're like we're insane what we've done you know it's crazy the number when I was a kid Growing up, I must have been about 10. The big deal in town was a Cuban dude who was a judoka who defected after he went to the Cuban send him to Russia as a kid. Then he went back to Cuba and he left on a battleship. Who the fuck knew? But he had a judo school downtown when I was growing up.

And I went to see the school one time and this guy drove me crazy, George. He was pure old school Cuban, trying to be a Jewel. dude and the only people who brought kids to him were Cuban people yeah of course because nobody else went in there was a different fucking mentality you know most places he teaches you how to land this guy didn't teach you that shit this boy I he go go let me daddy go home daddy that lear getting to do let me pinga bamo bamo

oh he had these kids in there fighting to the death dog they were eight, I still talk to one of the kids on the phone. That's still now, you know, he doesn't do it no more. But he was telling me, he goes, I remember when I was 12, he broke his own, the teacher broke the own

student's arm. That's how Cuban he was. Like, that's, you know, that's only in a Cuban world that the Cuban dude broke his purple belt arm. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I get out, we, we can Back and forth, like, 20 stories.

You have, Lee, you have, I really wanted to get you on the podcast. Listen, you go on a thousand podcasts and talk about fighting and how you want to fight Soroni and stuff, and that's fun and dandy. But I want to explain the people of the fighting mentality of the Cuban. Okay, in San Francisco in 85, I met a guy that if you gave him a hard time, he would square off on you, Jordan. Like, if you said away, I said it. But what's what happened?

He would square off on you and he said, I'm a prima manu de chocolate. So he would threaten you by saying that he was cousins with a Cuban boxer. That's why he was going to fuck you up. You know, and for the people at home, you listen to me going, what's so funny about, no, this guy committed to it. This guy would look at you straight in the face

and go, tithete. That was the one in the 70s. Tidate. Tidate. I'll fuck you up. I hope you know who you're messing with. I hope you know who you're messing with. I hope you know who you're messing with.

And then he would drop the bomb on you. Yo's why brimmono de quix chocolate. Kid chocolate was a big fighter in the 50s or 60s this year. It was 1985. Nobody even knew who kid chocolate was. And he was threatening him with kid chocolate. What would you have to do to get him to get this pissed off? What did you like poke him or like what do you have to do to do?

Anything. He sold nickel bags. So if you tried to like get cute with him, he would say, oh, yeah, d'etipigoto, and he would go the whole route on you. Like I said to you, my mom died in 79, and then I was thrown into this world, which I loved, but I had no Cuban influences at that time. And here I get in trouble. I'm running from the cops, and I end up in San Francisco. And one day I just walk into this name. It's called the tenderloin.

It's one of the worst neighbors in the fucking world. It's still bad today. But I grew up in New York City I grew up in North Bergen, New Jersey and I bought drugs all those years in New York City and I saw more violence in San Francisco those four months that I ever saw in New York City. I saw a guy with his stomach wide open.

The blood was brown, dog. I saw a knife fight on the fucking street. The guy had a straight raise and the other guy had like a little sword. I saw some fucking shit that ear, dog. I saw some wild, stuff when I used to get off that fucking bus at night. Was that via LSD or just the guy?

This is straight up, dog. Just straight up. They were angry dudes. It was like 11 in the morning and I walked to get something and I saw people walking around. I heard a dude moaning and I looked and broke. I could see the fucking puddle of brown blood. I could see it was open and some guy was calling the ambulance and some guy threw the town on him. What ethnicity was this?

He was like a white dude. No, but the ones causing the violence? I don't, I didn't say no. It was just crazy white people. That was way before, that was a year before. That's really scary, crazy white people. A year after you were born, there was a crazy dude in San Francisco that was going into people's, uh, what?

Richard Ramirez, the night stalker. He was going into people's apartments and taking your eyeballs and killing you in the middle of night. He stayed down the corner from where I was staying in the Tendeloid. That's how bad that neighbor was. And one day I went to get a nickel bag at the hotel, and it was the FBI waiting from. They had flashes. They go, that's why I saw Bougarong, the San Francisco,

the Cuban with the two gay guys, and he would smack him around if they wouldn't do what he told them. So that's the second serial killer, Lee, Lipper on the crowd. I lived in that. I stayed in, I was hiding from the cops from Boulder. So my logical situation, I loved San Francisco, I had heard about it. I said, let me go to San Francisco. Wherever the fucking bus shuttle, the airplane shuttle dropped me off, I walked and I saw a hotel.

And I checked in, I could afford it for like three or four days. Then I got a cheaper place where you live on the third floor, on the second floor, on the first floor. But it's your own room with cable TV. You got a closet. You got everything you need, but the bathrooms in the hallway. So you got to wake up in the middle of the night and lock your door and go. It had the AC on the window. Yeah, AC on the window.

It wasn't a bad little player, $85 a week. You know, any bad places. This is 1985, guys. And you're living in the heart of the tenderloin. And I walked down the corner one day. Like I said, my mom was dead. I didn't have that Cuban thing in my life no more. And I was just walking down the street, minding my business, Dawn.

And I just heard the Cuban chatter. and I'll never forget that Pudo the one day I heard him some dude was talking to him in English a Mexican dude was talking to him in English and he looked him straight in the face dog 1985 I still remember what he said to him

he looked at him he goes What's a maricoterie? He said to him in English you know what's pat on the cucko the American are in the Mexicans California are of you compad he told this guy basically to speak to him in Spanish

and stop speaking the name in English. You know how many kicks in the ass the Americans kicked you? As a matter of fact, California was yours, you dumb fuck. Speaking Spanish, I mean, and that's how I've made... That's the Cuban, like the proud, like, I'm, I'm, I speak Spanish,

I'm fully fluent in it, and I'm going to speak it at all times, you know? It's a different mentality than a lot of other, like, Latin people, I think. So it was a weird time, because he had white hair and he was old. So every day I would go down there And if I made money doing something Helping the Cubans

If they robbed somebody And they had travelers' checks Because they were all Maliolitos And these guys These guys were labeled Maliolitos So right away you were soon the worst But once you talk to them These guys were electrical engineers

That were thrown in jail Because They didn't go to work one day Or they found the cassette on them You know They moved in jail for three fucking years, and then they were disgraced to their family. So they asked them if they wanted to come here,

half the family stayed. That's what a couple weeks ago when Castro died, you know, you had this split thing in this country. And it's like, I understand forgiving, but before you forgive, I want you to understand what happened. And so I was telling you before with Celia, I could tell you to hate Lee or Becky. And all of a sudden one day you wake up and go,

why do I hate Lee and Becky? you know, that's how I felt about Fidel 10 years ago, I'm like, I don't hate them no more, but I grew up in a society where everybody around them hated them, and then I watched that Celia show, and by episode 20, he's fucking throwing some heat to down.

I'm like, ah, now I remember why these fucking Cubans hated him, you know? But it was so weird that all these people like Julie Stein and all these people were like Fidel did this and this, and I'm like, I don't understand if she knew the magnitude. I don't think any of the Americans are, they really know what type of tyrant he was. You know, what type of killer he was? Just because he was in control of the courts and the whole entire system doesn't mean that he was a mass murderer, you know?

I, person in my family lost a lot of land and people died of my family. So I would hear stories not when I was young, but once I was already of like, they thought I was of age, they would always drop the knowledge on me. And people don't know in this country, this guy's a tyrant, you know? He's not no political figure or no lead or not, you know. You know, when that stuff all happened, somebody just telling me that they read something where you said your dad was out and C for 15 days. No, no, no, no.

He was out three days. Three days. Three days. Three days. Three or five days. I don't remember now. Yeah, he got, he left from Cuba. They got a tire track and they turned it into a raft.

Him, his friend, and his friend's uncle. And they just, boom. They took off, you know, they, they, uh, they rig like bottles of water and they drag it through the sea because I don't know why it wouldn't fit in the thing or I don't know what was the thing somehow though one of their bottles

got like a contaminated had a hole so it got fucking salt water so they didn't have nothing to drink for like three days out in the sea crazy and they landed in Miami no in the Virgin Islands they got scooped up like by like their water patrol or whatever

they were like right about to make it to the island they scooped them up from the Virgin Islands and then from there he went to Miami That's the question I always have for people that I want you to think about looking at your family and going You know what man? I've had enough Enough is enough

You know I'm going to make a raft tonight And I'm going to get on it in Los Angeles And I'm going to go to San Diego With a shirt on my back Some fucking two gallons of water That's all I could hold And saltine crackers

In the language I don't speak Forget about the fucking language, George Mastewa. I'm going to jump in a fucking shark-infested water. That's where tornadoes and hurricanes start. I'm not tornadoes, but hurricanes start out there, right there at that point. And the humidity is insane to when the sun is just beating on you the whole time. What did your dad say about it? It's a pretty interesting story there.

He says like on day number three, they had it like a paddle. So he puts it up and a pigeon's flying in the last. right on it so he's like he starts bringing it down and of course the one of the guys is the superstitious do it on the boat and he tells my dad he's like don't even think about touching that bird that's a sign we're gonna make it my dad's like all right he shakes the stick and then they keep rowing rowing he says like an hour later he's dead tired you know because he was he was one of the ones that was more fit so he was wrong most of the time so he puts the stick on the thing and the pigeon comes back and again my dad starts lowering the stick till i try to get the pigeon

and the guy's like no bro i told you it's a sign he goes you're right it's a sign watch he got it he said he was so thirsty that he just didn't even hesitate snapped his neck drunk some of the blood and i was like you're kidding me he's like no i was so thirsty that i didn't i just thought like i need fluid you know so they ate that fucking pigeon and drunk that blood it sounds like some devil worship and shit but it's just survival at that point you know when he told me that i was like man how thirsty could you be oh my god and if you're a fighter and you've cut weight you do get to those like i could drink blood right now if i could I can't

Every time I wake up Some mornings I'm like Fuck how lucky am I I don't have to fucking get on a rap Today Like You ever seen the videos of Because you have to be in dry land

Right So when you get off the raft If you're in the water still They get still deport your ass So you got to race to the dry land To where the sand is dry You ever seen the videos It's like football

Like they get off the rap And they're trying to beat the The guards to get to the dry land Those are intense You see somebody fighting for their life after they already got off a route for like three, four days. It's fucking nuts. There was a script going around here about four years ago that somebody showed me that it was a dude wrote that went through the whole Cuban thing. And they were trying to get funding for it, which I never understood because I'm Paramount.

I buy this fucking thing and put it with every Spanish actor I know and break the box office. It was a route where it really went on to do it. during the Mario Harbor thing. And it was these guys that would go to Cuba. I would go, come here, bro. George, come here. Are you going to me? Go to Cuba.

Get the boat, go to Cuba. Look for lease I had and his wife. And you go, right, no problem. And you get your boat, go. And then you call me and go, I got them. But it's going to cost you $10,000. Like they were doing some fucked up shit. like throwing people off boats and shooting and paying the money yeah it became like fucking

chinese trafficking yeah the mario harbor thing they were bringing them over oh my god it's crazy it was fucking crazy man now the big thing is trafficking the athletes like the top-notch baseball players that is a whole uh huge thing you know it's getting those guys over because they the guys that bring them over they're going to manage them they're going to take over their career so they're getting them over from one way or other than the cash in it in big time on those guys what happened with this last kid you know anything about this kid you see him down there he's nuts right which one yeah yeah p pui whatever yeah he lives down there in the off-season issue that dude's wearing pink panties and man and he was just super athlete

like i've seen oh he's tremendous yeah i don't i don't watch much baseball but i seen like highlights of him and he looks like just super athlete you know that's the dude they got the DUI right he got something doing 90 down there Miami and a sports something yeah yeah yeah That's the one that's wild. Yeah, yeah. There's a couple of them that are wild. Imagine you go from having nothing to $20 million one day. You know, you come from that Cuban communist government.

We didn't have shit. And then seven months later, at my strengthening gym, there's a couple of Cubans that go there and they do the conditioning. And it's the same story. They came here living in an efficiency. And somebody's, like, rented it, room of a house that has, like, no living room, no nothing. Just a bathroom. And that's it. And, like, a little mattress.

and then like 10 months later $17 million contract you can't even blame them they go wild man now what have you heard they do to the families oh no they'd be taking care of their families I've heard a lot of good stuff like from the guys that I know

everybody gets taken care of it but no Cuban government don't be oh the government no it's not as bad as it used to be I think nowhere near as bad from what I've heard from the athletes themselves you know like in the 80s I would hear was way crazy than

like the 2000s I don't want you been to the U.S.C. phone now. I have to get the... 60 years, seven years? No, I don't even know. I think like four years. That's fucking amazing, brother. You got up to that level. When I heard you with Cuba, I was fucking happy. I was like, Jesus Christ, these motherfuckers are still.

What's a medal? Well, explain that. Explain what's like, because for me, I don't have anyone in the UFC like that. I don't have anyone that I can connect with just because, like, I don't know. There's no Jews. No Jews to the stone in the U.S. Is that what you're saying?

There's no Jews in the U.C? They run the fucking show. I'm sure there are some. They run the show. For Jewish fighters, but I don't know. I just, it's, I've never seen, I've never had a connection with a Jewish person. One of the best Jewish.

I've never just seen a Jewish person. I'm like, oh my God. You know, bagels and like you guys are talking for. What are you talking about? I don't do that. I don't do that. that with Jewish people. So it was interesting to see.

I don't know. I guess it's normal to you guys. But to me, for other ethnicities, it's not like, oh my God, there's some, there's another Irish person.

Oh my God. Like, I don't know. Let me tell you, I have a, I know what you mean. I understand. I was talking to Josh Wolf,

a friend of mine, a comedian. And he was asking me if I wanted to have Freddie Prince Jr. on the show. And I said to him, absolutely. He goes, he's really cool.

He's into M&A. Ba, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'd like to have him on the show. And then I went home and I started thinking about it. And at one point, bro, I got overwhelmed and my tears came out. And I started crying.

You know, when I was fucking 10, TV, and I'm not talking about TV. Like, you know, you have your baseball idols. you have all these idols. This motherfucker showed up called Pretty Prince. He was Puerto Rican, bro. He talked about it. In 1973, this motherfucker was hosting the Tonight Show.

So you think about it. As a Cuban game, you're like, look at this badass Puerto Rican hosting the fucking Tonight Show. That was my dog. Dog, we'll never fucking... So Friday nights, I didn't give a fuck what was going on.

I would sit at home and watch Sanford and Son of 8, and fucking Chico and the man at 8.30. I didn't give him a fuck. Why? Because he was poor to fucking Rican. And I'm Cuban. It had nothing to do with it. But he's still my boy. He was still my boy.

I was 10. I was 11. And then when I was 11 on Friday nights, there was a kid that was older than me. I lent them money. And he moved to Miami. The same was Eddie Lameca. But he had a girlfriend that was banging. I was probably 12.

She was probably 14. and she used to always give them higgies and shit. I knew they were doing crazy stuff at that age. I didn't know what they were doing. I swear to God, I didn't know what was going on. So on Friday nights, I want to tell you, Lameco moved to Miami, I would always ask her loan her. Did she fucking, did he ever send you the money he owed me?

She was saying, no, no, he didn't. And this went on for a couple months. But on Friday night, she would call me and she go, can I come over that? At this age, I knew nothing about sex, nor did I have any interest. This is in my world how I was raised. this was able to make this fucking girlfriend

but one day we started swapping spin we started sucking the little tinnies and shit and fuck it she let me finger her and after six weeks the debt was paid you know what I didn't pay me but your girlfriend did pay in the flesh what the fuck and I would sit there and watch safflin's something we'd order pizza and that would be my Friday nights

that's a serious Friday night and she moved away until this day the looopoombe my mother I swear to God that every six months I go on Facebook when I type in a loan of Merton's and I still can't find this bitch. Put some fucking Tony Bennett out. I got to go to bathroom real quick. What was going on out there? I hear music.

I can keep chatting. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. We're still on. So what's the plan from here? Where are you going from LA? Back to Miami. Miami, Florida. And that's where you train full-time?

Yeah, I train in between Miami and Coconut Creek. It's about an hour north for Miami. Nice. My dad lives down there. We're in Boin Beach. Boyne Beach. I don't, man, I know where it is. I know I've been there, but I just, I get confused.

There's so many beaches, like 30 beaches over there. You know, they all have a name. It's like a retirement village, I think. Or community. Like the whole area. I have a bunch of those in Florida. It's retirement, like, Capitol, I think. So how did this fight happen?

Like, because I know, we, like, yesterday we experienced Mickey Gall. He calls people out. Did a cowboy, did you call cowboy out? Did Cowboy call you? How did this fight happen? Because I know Cowboy wanted to go to Denver. So we called out. Denver basically.

Well, the whole thing started. I was going to fight Kevin Gaston, which at the time was number five. They ended up pulling him to fight cowboy. This dude misses weight by 10 pounds. And at that moment, when I find out, I say, hey, I'll fight right away. You know, I'll take the fight. I'll take the fight. I'll what? 10 hours to make the weight.

I'll make the weight. And I'll fight this guy on Saturday, which was November 5th in New York Hard. And it didn't happen. You know, and then I just kept calling for cowboy and fucking I finally got it, you know? That's awesome, man. Yeah. Now, when do you go into the official training camp? Usually.

Today. Okay, so today it starts. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'll be hitting the streets later jogging, doing something. Really? Yeah. I have to do something.

I have, like, serious 80 years of right now, I'm already like, I want to, like, push up. What are you weighing right now? Right now I'm having, like, 18. All right. You got to drop 18. 18. I'll drop probably, like, from here until I get to fight weak. I drop like a good

like 11 pounds of fat right now that I put on in like a week of eating shit and now you're hearing Taco Bill you're gonna go fucking crazy fucking Taco up tomorrow me and fucking Becky is sitting here wishing to live where you live

because at one in the morning I could call Beck and go Becky I'm too hard to drive can get me I buy you some fucking cook and dig her papa and you can take it back to your fucking place and watch movies

No, you guys will be ruined. You'll be destroyed. At this stage in your lives, if you go there, because you're used to something so different. Yeah, no, no, no. You go there and you get a colada at four in the morning, just like how your grandma makes it, at four in the morning. Thanks for that.

Lee would die. Lee doesn't, Lee just have Lee's girlfriend moved in and she goes to bed at 10. Lee gets high, now he's got to sit there at 11.30 and stare at four walls. I go, Lee, there's only one thing to do. it's eating he's like i know that's it if we had a good place to go at 11 30 we only got denies and the no-ho diner both of them you can put your gun in your fucking mouth it's like russian roulette

you don't know what you're gonna get you don't know what the fuck you're gonna get at the both of them denies listen i look at the the eggs are even suspect of denny's that's why i get them sunny side up i don't trust nothing you get those powdered eggs you get a headache it's like drinking beer at the stadium how many how many denny's are here A thousand. A thousand? Yeah, they love it. So at least you could go like different dining dashes on the denies.

No, you can't dine and dash. You can't dany dats. I'm going to dine and dash on like a $6 meal. They'll throw you in fucking jail for that for two years. I meant, and I'll admit this, I did that all the way up until like I started making, like, decent money. I would do the dining dashes. I would tip out the waitress. And then I would just take off.

Like, a lot of my partners from ATT will tell you, like, they don't even want to go with me because I'll be like, yo, I'm going to come right back. I'm gonna go to the car they know I'm gone I'm gone Even still to the day If somebody takes me to a place That is shitty You take me to a place

It's weak sauce And you're about you for And all this place is good Especially after training I'm hungry I want to eat good food Oh my God You take me to a place

It's shitty All my teammates know I'll be right back I'm gonna go to the car If you don't cover that I don't know who is Because that one That's the guaranteed one

I have not dine and dashed In 25 fucking years But that's what you got to do At Denny's though Because the food is so Yeah Yes, you have to. That's what those are for.

No, those poor people. No, you leave the waitress to tip. But that food comes from, they're going to throw it away anyway. He just walked out of that. I did that, Doug, in 1985, I tormented. What the fuck? It was a national chain at the time. They had the best chicken wings, bro.

And on Monday nights, they had free chicken wings during Monday night football. Monday night football. It was in Fort Lee, New Jersey. I used to fucking talk to the manager with the check in my hand. I would tip out the waitress and I would walk out of there with the fucking ticket.

I did this every fucking week for six months. You did the same guilty pleasure. And then there was another one I used to do the Wing Feng Chinese restaurant. That's where I learned how to fucking dine in that. That was in Jersey?

Yeah, I'm Bergen-Line Boulevard. You guys got good Chinese. food over there man you've had Florida Chinese food is such a weak source but let me tell you something David when I used to stay in Coconut Grove from 98 to 2003 I got

a friend Irish he lives up north now in Tampa Irish was a waiter at the improv and he was from New York City and he found the place down there bro in Miami oh shit New York style

where Sinatra used to go It's in a fucked up area, but they got the leather couches. They still give you the noodles. The mirrors everywhere. Yeah, sparrers, cortitia. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Miami's got good food. Don't ever get confused.

No, no, no, Miami's got great food. But for New York, for Chinese food? New York is the good. New York is the good. Problem with Miami is the problem with L.A. You can either pay $22 for it or you can pay $4 for it. It's your choice. And you're getting the same fucking, yeah, it's the same fucking thing.

You could be an asshole or you could be a fucking asshole. That's the problem with Miami, like my friend one year, called me up, upset as fuck. And he goes, Joey, I don't mean to bother you. You know, I grew up in New York City. My friend's cousin married a Cuban woman. I went to Gloria Stephan's restaurant, and I spent the $180 and it really wasn't any good. I said, well, who sent you there?

You're in Miami. Why would you go to Gloria Stephan's restaurant? But this will make sense so, because if you don't know culture just right no he didn't know the first name that pops in your head for so yeah i've never been to miami what do you get there do you just get cuban food is that what you got to new you go to miami they got up with cheeseburger league what the fuck do you go to miami for a cocksucker that's what we would do let's come get a cheese bagger my friend told me the fucking fries are you're going you go to fucking miami lee you got to get cuban food cuban food you have fish you have

and jewish food Go to a nice Jewish neighborhood, get some nice Jewish food. It's kicking up there, brother. Those are real Jews in Miami. That's my Olansky, Jack. All right, all right. But here's the beauty about Cuban food. That, like I said, it will give you a heart attack.

It will give you a heart attack. But like I said, you know, I'll give you whatever you want. Whatever you want for your food, I'll give you. I just want the food to be really, really good enough. really, really certain way, you know. No, once you've tasted good, legit food of wherever you're from, like Mexicans that don't eat like Taco Bell and then you, we get it, you know? It does, it's not up to your standards.

Cuban food is hard to find. It's good, though. That's why I hardly ever eat it outside of Miami. I would have to, you would have to tell me like, no, this place is legit good. When I go to Miami, I go to three places. I go to a place. Here's how fucking ghetto I am. Wahiro Tol Utti more, say that.

I go to a place that you buy the Cuban food by the pound. Oh. Okay. Okay. Now we're talking. That's how dirty. That's how dirty. Joey Diaz is, ladies and gentlemen.

I got a place on South Beach. Becky comes to South Beach with me. Yeah, I finger-bang. I take it to the Cuban place on South Beach. She goes fucking crazy. Becky will go crazy. There's a gay waiter at this place. Se yama.

Portasawa. I'll take you to Porta Saga, Becky. I'll fucking wine and dine your bed. Your head will explode, Becky. But then, that following day, I'm going to park a car in a place where all you hear is Spanish. Right? From the fucking minute you park, Becky.

All you hear is Spanish. You're like, where the fuck am I? And scream in Spanish. Screaming Spanish. And then you go into a bodega. And they got Spanish music on. And they got a counter. Like, you know those Chinese restaurants that suck?

No, no. They have Cuban ones like that. And you go in there, 1145, they be called out of fresh. The fucking white rice is fresh. It's intense. The black beans are fresh. You see the olives floating. They got the fried bananas.

They got the Maduro's. And it's for people like you and I. We don't want to get fucking, we don't want, you don't need to. It's like the chicken fucking pretty women. Listen, you don't need to eat the strawberries and the champagne. This is the short thing. This is the short. And Becky, when you ring it, it's $6.99, $4.99.

Becky, a fucking 10. A fucking 10 of food that they have to fucking seal it. And you take it home like, $4.99. And also, you start pouring it and going, where do all this Piccadillo come from? Joey, you want half of this. No, it's enough to feed a family. It's enough to feed a family. And you could buy the Cuban bread right then and there.

Right then and there. 99 cents it's fucking tremendous I love this type of fucking restaurant I have a friend that as soon as I land in Miami picks me up and he's white and that's where we go he goes this is the best I know have you been to Palazzo Oahu I've been to a bunch I just don't know the names no more that was like a nice chain is taking it's it's been they've been around for like 10 15 years but now they're starting to put like more chains they're legit official juices you know like the Mammays the batio mammae batio of trigo and then they got the food the food by the pound section

the top the problem with me dog i've eliminated two things in my diet 15 years ago because they don't serve me any good and that's what i'm about they don't my mate you have to eliminate those of your my age i look at water and i get fat batito mammae for me because you don't just have one A bit of grigo. A bit of grigo. You just don't have one. Yeah, you just don't have one of those. You get addicted to them for four or five days

and it takes you back to your childhood. Once I hit them a couple years of shit. A good battee of my name. Oh, no. There's a place in Hollywood that would sell the frozen mammae. Not the Goya one. That's kind of Fugazi. The other one.

There's another one they use in Miami. That's the real deal. La Fruta or something weird. They used to say. salad down there. When I got up to 418, when I did the longest yard, I got into those late night, 4 in the morning

with vanilla ice cream and milk, and you got to put the motherfucking sugar in there. You got to put the sugar in there, Becky. It's all over. That's why I don't fuck with that stuff. And what I... 7 grams of sugar, like half a teaspoon of salt and that shit. It's legit.

And what I pulled, the sugar cane juice? Listen, man That I could I would have discipline for that That wouldn't drive me crazy But by the old mamma's When I was a kid I used to go This place in Union City

Called Hernandez Okay First off when you walked in When you walked in Hernandez had a counter And on the glass Was a thousand sandwiches Already with ham

And cheese already on it All right Thousands of Cuban sandwiches Already stacked up you wouldn't even see Mr. Hernandez to you. You walked to the top. He would go, Jose Antonio, what's happening?

What's happening, Mr. Hernandez? What are you looking at tonight? You could tell, and then on this side he had Cuban sandwiches, and on this side he had million inches. And it could be, he would close at four. So you go in there at 2.30, you can go, Mr. Ness, there's nothing.

Give me a Cuban sandwich. He pulled that bread off the fucking thing, open it up, take the fresh pork, slice it for you. Then he turned around, put the grill up and put fresh butter on the fucking thing and he put that thing and toast it for you jesus fucking christ becky and why you're waiting what do you want let me get two wayawa battaito yawai yawatti do so for me please that's my and that shit bro you do that for three

days you get on the scale it's the worst diet in the world it's fucking nuts the worst the worst the worst it's meant to destroy i do anything to do it fucking And so you stay away from all that shit the next four or five weeks. No, because I'm not perfect. I wish if I had that type of discipline, I'd be a lot further in my career, I think. But no, at least once a week, I'll fucking do a fool, go on house, or just one type of Latin meal that I really, really like. I really like Peruvian food, too.

I love that food. It's that and Cuban food is my two favorites, I think. And you enjoy living down in Miami. The training's tremendous for you. Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome. And these trainers you've been with for a while? My head coach, yeah, Paulino Hernandez.

I've been with him. I'm going to do the math. I'm just going to take a second. Okay, and then who's your Thai coach and stuff? The guy that I'm working with now that I've been working with is Gregory Chopin. He's the WBA, WBC 168 champion right now currently. And what about Jiu Jitsu? In Jiu Jitsu, Mike Brown.

Mike Thomas Brown for my wrestling and Jiu Jiu Jitsu. Okay. So they cover you in the next week's nutrition. You have a nutrition guy that comes in? Yeah, me. I know a lot about that shit. I stay away from Cuban food. That's it.

I'm fine. That's it, really? That's it for me. No special milkshakes. I don't. When I used to fight at 55, I had a very, very strict diet. And I had different nutritionists. And through meeting these different people, I've picked up from each diet that they've given me something that actually worked, you know?

Because you work for somebody for six, seven, eight. weeks, months, or whatever, you would get different results from each one. So I got the best ones out of everything and I just put it together and making my way, you know. And you work in Miami with different coaches than once a week. You go up to ATT? No, I go up to ATT probably every day or every other day, yeah. Like three to four times, I do a lot of my sparring and my grappling there. That's a great place.

Yeah, yeah. We got a lot of bodies, a lot of good wrestlers, a lot of good strikers. So it's a great place to shopping the tools. You enjoy this brother? I love this man It's like how people go to play basketball That's their thing They want to fucking ball out

They want to dunk on somebody That's what excites them This is what gets me out of bed This is what wakes me up You know, it's so weird When you see the prelims And you watch the You see these guys that go out there

They're fucking fighting it out And then getting to the next level The next level is where you're at now Right now You're starting right now This is it. This is the real dear, holy fear. You fuck some people up, but now you got to go in there and fuck this fucking savage. I got to fuck this dude up, bro. And he's guaranteed that this fight doesn't go the distance. I said it about Jake. I didn't like the ending, but I'll tell you, he won't see the final bell. I guarantee. I'm so confident that I'm just hoping I'm the underdog. I have a lot of money saved, cash money that the banks don't know about that I'm going to put.

on myself if I'm the underdog. That's how confident I am. And the amount is a decent amount. I'm hoping I'm praying him like a big underdog. That's how confident. You feel that good about your striking and you... No, I just feel that good about this fight, you know. It's him that I feel real good about.

Not so much even me. I understand. You know, all those years when the San Francisco 49 is Joe Montana, they were fantastic. They can never beat the New Orleans Saints. The New Orleans Saints always figured out. how to beat Joe Montana. Maybe you have the answer.

Oh, I got several answers. See, that's the thing. Maybe you see something. Nobody else has seen. Oh, no, no. I see what everybody else sees. What I think about cowboy, he has a midget in his mind.

You know, he doesn't like the fight, man. And he doesn't like to get hit in certain places. And I don't give a fuck to get hit. Not that to put like a tough guy, I've done, but when the pressure's on for him, I see those moments that he breaks, that he starts to wield them. He knows what I'm talking about.

Like if he's hearing this or when he gets to hear this, he'll agree when the pressure's hot in the kitchen, when he's wrestling hard, and he doesn't like that, you know? He doesn't like his heart rate getting up there. And that's what I'm going to bring to the fight. I'm going to get his heart rate up there several times while bringing a lot of, what's the word?

A lot of discomfort to his face, and he's not going to like the pace. All right. I'm going to break this through. I just think about it and I get excited right now. I can see that you're being fired up. Yeah, I can't wait. And you and I both know that you can't let the Cuban come out

because that always kill us at the end of the emotion. No, no, no, Cuban always has to come out at one point in. You got to calm the Cuban down. Every time the Cuban shows up, that's always a bad situation. It's always bad for me. I go home and I regret it. I said something wrong. You got a little bit too loud.

Yeah, you get a little bit too loud. Lift the table. Well, don't you need that in a fight or no? Or do you agree with Joe they don't need it? The Cuban? Yeah. To really translate it, it's who you really are. It's a certain spirit.

You know, it's a certain spirit for me. Like, I'm not a fighter, but when I go on stage and my energy is on, it's something from who to fuck how I was raised in that crazy in this house, you know? know I really like having Becky around because when I see Becky she's a piece of who I am you know I'm saying if I go off she gets it there's no she gets it yeah there's no problem this she saw this when she was four or five yeah she knows about the yelling the screaming the same shit the mild racism you know at Nietzsche lachina you know it's uh it's a really hard mentality for people to understand and the people I grew up with in Jersey they get it like the

people I grew up where they got it you know but the Cuban thing Jesus Christ I went through so many changes as a Cuban young man you know I'm saying like I went through so many fucking changes bro because I was raised by a guy that he was not allowed in a room with a gay man okay there's what I'm saying to you there's a Cuban mentality that's out there. That's out there. And I grew up with a guy that wasn't allowed to be in the room with a gay guy. You couldn't call him his nickname.

You understand me? So his nickname was Guadroiento. Okay? If you called him quarto, you could get stabbed. George, and Toledo, I tell you as a man, if you called him Guadroiento, you could get stabbed. depending on what type of day he was having. Yes.

Okay, and I tell you this in a serious way. Like, he looked you straight in the face and go, Hey, it's a unfa de peto. You don't know me well enough. You don't know me well enough today. To call me that, okay? So I appreciate it. Encomplejo of food.

Yeah, you know, I grew up with a guy that it was just fucking overwhelming. It was over fucking overwhelming. And that's the reason why him and my mother broke up, you know, He didn't like he would go to the bar and just sit there my mom would go you can't sit here like a putts You got to mingle with these people now They're all looking at your ass and go home. What the fuck are you sitting here for you making me lose money You know and then when he good would go down there he would cause a problem And when he caused the problem you know plus he was the I told this he was in the in the back seat of the car somewhere

Bro he would carry a straight razor in his he would and that is what he was One thing Cubans are world-class famously known for, the blade is always on. Listen, he'd wear farmer's pants. So he always had that side pocket, and he would always have a stray razor in there. I never saw him slice somebody before. My mom died. Somebody showed up that he had beef with, and they couldn't come at the same time because he sliced his ass. Because they slice your ass.

Yeah. I grew up with that type of dude. Yeah. I grew up with... Those are the original... original ones from Cuba. I grew up with a dude that they don't eat pussy. Yeah.

Why don't eat pussy? Because that means if you eat pussy, you'll suck a man's dick. No, no, no, no. You have no fucking idea how deep the machismo goes. And you saw it in Celia. You saw it, the fucking Lola's father. The way that man spoke, that was unheard of. That's me and you goof around and we goof around him.

We crack jokes. You never heard some man talk like Lupe's father. La Neda. Not only was he racist, he was raping his daughter, he was fucking delusional. You know, this is fucking crazy. Look at Lee. That whole machismo thing, you know, I had to lose it. The jealousy shit.

Oh, yeah. That shit. The ones on the island. That shit, I had to lose. thirstiest and most jealous dudes on the planet and they're gonna kill me now when they hear this I'm sorry I'm starting my pains which ones no the the Cubans on the island do they're different you know and the ones that are raised here the ones from like the island the jealousies it's not jealousy's more like they're more way more like uh

like Islam style you know like oh you look to the ground when you're around with me don't look no dude in the eye I don't play that shit ah and the chicks will be like like looking at the ground all the time when they're with the dudes he knows what I'm talking about he's like I know those motherfuckers you look that don't ever look a dude in the eye when you around me girl what the fuck is wrong with you like that like what the fuck is wrong with you bro it's ugly it's it's ugly and it's you look at it you go what it's so stupid yeah when they're raised you know when I was growing up they pretty much still had Cuban fixed weddings Your family, grew up with my family in Cuba, and we were both born in the United States,

and we played together. They have pictures of us playing when I was two and a half and you were two. And then when you were eight at the birthday party, it's us hugging. By the time we're 12, they're fucking married us. Serious shit, Becky. Serious shit. To what degree would you move in together? No, because I grew up with a little Puerto Rican girl.

They were trying to get me married to it and shit when I was growing up. I still had fucking pictures of me making out with it, like kissing her when I was like 14 at my party and them clapping and shit. Kiss her, kiss her. Oh, fuck you. That's sexy motherfuckers, Cubans. They took professional photos of you guys making out. Listen, bro, when I was a kid, my mother wanted, like, that's what they work for. They don't know any other fucking world.

My mother wanted me to be not sexual, but to have contact with women and compliment women and tell them their beauty. It's a flirtatious. Yeah, my mother was very different than American society. Yeah, no, my mother wanted me to hug people. Sometimes when I go to Miami, I have a Cuban friend, Ricky Cruz, a comedian. And I noticed that when he would see his friends from high school at the improv, he would hug and kiss all those women. And I was like, wow, you know, I remember growing up with Cuban kids,

and we always hugged and kissed each other. Oh, I go to L'A city. Yeah, it was kind of weird. Like all of a sudden, yeah, it's acceptable. When I was growing up, that was what you did with Cuban parents. I grew up in parents that you had to say Rendez Young to. Yeah. And they were saying, you know, Thirondi, before you left the house and when you walked in the house.

Oh, yeah. When I was eight and nine, this is what I'm saying to you guys. I grew up Catholic on my own. Like, I remember going to church on my own on Sunday. I liked it. I really believed in it, but I was a sickly kid. By Aganta would always get fucked up. and then have to take me to the hospital.

And then my mother came home and then she goes, I went to see this lady and she says that they want to see you and talk to you and ask you some questions. And I went up there and she was a black lady, but she had a lassie, a dog, a collie. And I really liked the dog and I would go up there and talk to him. She talked to me about Los Santo, this and this and this, come back. And I would go up there every week.

And finally after about a year, when I turned seven one day, she gave me a le-wa. And she gave me a little. Yeah, a little dude. When you'd be saying these names, like American people, got to be like, what the fuck are they saying? Say it one more time.

And there was this little dude that's made out of, like, concrete, and you put him by the door with candy and like a mousetrap and shit. And he watches the door for his little kid. And his partner's Ogoon. He's another saying that's Yo Romero. That's Ogoon right there. And he's next to him.

And he's the god of metal and construction and weapons. So you have weapons guarding your doors, so nobody could come in and shit. That type of superstitious, not that type of shit. It's fucking nuts. It's craziness. And I enjoyed it. She would tell me all these stories about St. Francis of a sissy, but at the same time, I was going to Catholic school and hearing those stories during the week.

You know, there was a nun there who would tell stories. And it was the same type of stories, only with African saints. It was the most fucking beautiful thing. And I made the connection. I'm like, ah, then I found out later when I was an adult that it was brought from Africa to Cuba. And it was how the slaves communicated with the fucking gods. They dressed them up as Catholic saints. So it made sense to me.

So when I started talking to this lady, none of that I like going up there. She lived on 148th Street. There was more action up there. It was more dirty kids. And they did shit on the streets. shit and i liked it so i went more more more more up there and finally one day they're like listen you want to make saint i said yeah i made saint when i was seven dog i'm about the last since i was seven years old i was straight up i was not supposed to end up doing this shit there was

no way i was even allowed to speak like this as a child you were like super sane level then you you When I was seven, it was already in. So then you were like, you were the one that they were coming to. You would charge people their money to give them like when they po. Yeah. Oh, by the time I was eight, people were giving me fucking $42 to do little things. I never cut chickens heads off, though. I didn't like none of that shit.

Because that's like in, like, to the rest of the world that doesn't understand, those are like celebrities in within the communities, the Cuban saints. You know, like the, what do you call them? Baba Lao's yeah those guys charge me gonna make a money oh my god they for the poho or what's the other thing they do um they read the cards yeah kill a chicken for you there's celebrities they charge top dollar five grand 10 grand easy well i went to miami a kid came up to me at the improv and said my uncle could help you out i i told him the situation he'd want like 30 000 30 000 fucking dollars i think my me and my mother made saint in 1970 for fucking eight thousand dollars

on the upper west side of new york animals included animals included because we did it together in those days now it's like 30 grand and they'll take you to cuba to do it for a week like my daughter's godfather called me and said i gotta ask you a question there's a lady here who took her two weeks of absence a Cuban woman and she went back to Cuba and now she came back she's got the headgear on she's all dressed in white what happened

and I told them what happened and he's like that's fucking amazing so they go to Cuba to be even more legitimized the people I did my saint were fucking top-notch I still keep a thought of them. That's on top. That's on top Natsday were. I left my saints when my mother died with this gay dude.

I robbed a gay dude. I moved to Colorado. I never saw the guy again. The gay dude had my saints. I told my godmother. My godmother went to Jersey, picked up my saints, took them back to Harlem.

When she moved to Miami, she took my saints to fucking Miami with her. And she put them in her apartment. And she goes, listen, I raised that kid. even after I'm dead that kid's gonna come pick up these fucking saints and do you know what three years ago I found her on Twitter

and I picked up the saints 30 years later she took my saints to fucking Miami with it that's how tight she's dead now but I got my saints in my house right behind me in my office right there 30 fucking years later I grew up in it

I really believed in it what happened was my mother died I got disenchanted and then who it gives I grew up with like decent Cuban people who didn't curse but I also grew up with Cuban people would talk about that they got my mama

bye ya you know I think those are all my uncles yeah those are my uncles you know I would go to my mom's mom's mom when I was 12 when I gave me cocaine and he goes listen next time you eat a girl's pussy sprinkle this on a twat

I'm like are you fucking kidding me because I used to drive him this girl New Yorker they all thought like I was fucking I was not fucking this girl I didn't even have the heart the fucker at that age. I was dry humping I would clothes on. And one day he came into my room with him, listen,

I'm hearing this a little story that you got a little skinny girl that you're fucking. He's telling me this shit in Spanish. And I'm looking in the boys, he said, I'm templando, ta-trika con gore la flakita, that's ha ha ha ha, bingo. Listen, I'm going to tell you that all the nastiest fucking stories I have

forgotten. When I was a kid, my mom had the bar and burger line, which is Cuban, it's flag. It's flag. It's Flagler for Cubans, you know, in New Jersey. And there was a guy that would sit there for my mother in the afternoons when my mother would go to a Met Game or a track. Part of my comedy is this guy.

His name was Anando de Campo, and he had a brother, Umbetu. All right. All right. So do you understand me that for me to ever excel as a comedian, I really have to write these things. I really have to sit on, but you, by me saying his name, look at the smile. Okay. Okay. Now, both of them were fucking five foot six, big shoulders, but a stomach that you would never, ever seen before. It was huge and solid. Seven gold chains? Three, four, five of them.

The skinny ones or the long ones? The long ones in and the long ones out. Oh, okay. Three or four rings. He was a book. Minimum. He was all it. Did he have tenier or not the, the fact bag? He followed out. No, he would take the notes and write them real small and hide him in a baseball hat. I mean, he was brilliant. I'm not doing whatever.

The money was in the sock always. The money was everywhere because they were bookmakers at my mother's bar and there was a phone booth right there. In those days, there was a phone booth that would ring for them and they could close the door, take the number and hide the number in the phone booth. If the cops came, it was in the phone booth, but there was also money under the phone booth. So once the cops found the money, they would leave the number. You understand me and nobody did nothing. Arnardo was basically, he was the go between between my mother explaining stuff to me

and getting hit. Arnardo was the last resort. Okay, my mother was remarried, but my mom, me and Juan, didn't really go down that route. He didn't discipline me. But Arnardo had a certain way. Coco, what do you pass, say? O'er, put you think I puttta to the pila.

You mother works hard, and you. Your mother works hard in here. You got to do the right thing for your mother. You've got to come in here at three and take the ice. But he would say it to me in a way that would make you cry. You know what I'm saying? Like he would guiltiaize you. And then he'd go, I'm telling you, your mother's the last fucking,

she's going to knock the fuck out of you, the next move. I can't be here to save you. He was that guy. But Umberto was also the guy that would coach me. Oh, yeah, man, come here. It's, uh, I hear he can do anything, you know, to there. you do let them amanda la papa you know we were 12 we were going to ceramic class together I told you I told you Lee about the fucking Cuban girl Loretz that I went to a house

Cuban girl she her mother was single everybody liked Loredis she we weren't having sex with her she was just a Cuban girl in the sixth grade there was a couple Cuban girls and one day they're like you want to go to ceramic class I'm like sure so like we got to stop at Lourdes's house to stop and get like the money we go to Lodos's house George, the mother was hot. And you know me, I was raised in the house. My mom told me to tell women they look good. And Lordis' father left her.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. You know what me? I said, oh, yeah, seora. O'estoyette. I said, I told him you still got some left. Why are you single? And the next day, Lord, it's like, you can't come to my house.

You can't come to my house no more. How old were you? Twelve. Oh, my God. It was crazy that I hung out with these Cuban girls. There was no, listen, sex was not even on my distant mind. All right, that was, these Cuban girls, there was no way I was going to get in with them. No way.

There was no way it was going to be quick sex or nothing like that. There's so advanced at, like, a different, different speed, I think. In those days, you had a date. I like you, Becky. I like you, too, Joe. Okay. Becky, would you like to go to a movie sometimes? sure um let me call you okay yeah come over

I want you to come over on Sunday and meet my mother and grandmother and brother and that was on I was 14 if you dated a girl in Union City you had to go through that route and then route number two was you had to go to Cina Tony with Becky and her grandmother and the grandmother sat in between me and Becky and you had to do that two or three times then why Becky's grandmother would let us sit together. Official love. And then I would have to take Becky to her skin, and then once that was official, then

there was a little airplay where we could get away and I could squeeze a titty. That's fucking the official script. That was when I was growing up. If you wanted to date a Cuban girl, there was not a Cuban girl that I knew that just jumped on you. It was a process. And it was a process. I've heard about those processes.

It was a process. I didn't have to go to. through them, but my uncles and my cousins that are his age and younger. When I was in the 70s, it was a process. And the families and your family checked my report card. And then your family and my family became friends. And if by coincidence, they knew a cousin in Cuba, then it was even easier for us. But if they found out that we weren't the type of Cubans that we would hang out with,

that was a complete different battle you won't. Now, your dad, it was ugly. to date a Cuban girl. It was too much fucking drama. I dated one that I didn't have sex with, but her mother listened to me. Again, back to the Cuban machismo.

You know, Lee, we've been together for 20 years. We moved from Cuba together. I'm not in love with you no more. Okay. So, I'm going to go home with my life. I spoke to my therapist, and he said that we should split. and you should have counseling.

And I'm going to move on with my life and you'll move on with your life. And typical white dude would say, yes, I will get my things and I'll get an apartment. Mr. A said, listen, that's all great and dandy. But I'm not leaving here, okay? He decided he didn't leave him. He didn't talk to the family. That's how Cuban he was. He didn't talk.

He disbanded from the family. The daughter, the baby. brother, everybody. He built himself a cocoon in the basement. Only he can get in an hour. No my owling. No ma'amling. It was classic. That's Cuban machismo.

I tell a story about that girl I grew up with Vivian. She tells a beautiful story. When she was 14, her father called Rowan, and then she goes, Vivian, what's with the shorts? Vivian said, Dad, I went to a party. Listen, you got to do me a favorite. You can't wear those shorts. The next time you wear those shorts we're gonna have a fucking problem

she wore the shorts again Vivian this time told the mother the fucking father split they reunited maybe five years ago when that machismo 10 kicks in you ain't beating them for la pinga and throw la walla that was the expression when I was

growing up that means through my you're gonna have to shoot my dick with a bullet if you want me to give in and it's a sad situation they'd rather lose what happened in Celia tell me what tell him what happened and sell you

he left because she sang not through his dead body was he going to sing and you know what it kept his word he fucking died never went to see his sing

it killed her that cuban machismo shit if I didn't lose it I wouldn't be here today yeah I lost it by the time I was 19 I knew it was a dying situation by the time I was 19 I got smacked in the face by the Cuban

let's this chishimo thing and then I got to into it again and I ended up in prison. I started getting the guns. Who can't command a people, that's a pari, with me. That's a pariqaed with me.

Miel. Who did you? The Capitaine de Boat, I would go into those raids. I would do three bumps of cope and come to your house. That's my. It was crazy

and I would let it take over me. And at some point I had to shake it off me, man. And it's the best fucking thing I ever did in my life. It's not even worth the aggravation, bro. The jealousy factors, the, it affected me. It was in a comic at first, you know,

and really the machismo thing, fuck that shit. I'm just a regular dude. You suck my dick or, you know, I'm going home. That's it. What the fuck are we talking about here? Joe, uh, Lee, you got to stop giving me stars, you know what I'm saying? Look at the shape of you over there. We got Greg and Lynn Powers.

I love you guys. I will call you this week. We got the Georgetown Cannabis. We got my man Tommy Issa back in Georgia over there doing 420s with strippers, tinnies. We got Richie McMannis. We got Dominic Salas. We got Jim Nunya. We got John Cull up there at SF.

And we got Daniel Wodente Gazzini and shit. Trying to send me emails. Somebody hacked into my motherfucking account and shit. How many days a week do you train? usually right now going into this six six and you take one day a rest yeah if my weight's a little heavy I'll go in for a light light session on Sunday but usually it's just six days what's Monday Monday uh I do like strength of condition in the morning go home get a little break and then I'll wrestle at night for like a good two hours and then I'll do cardio after that what's Tuesday Tuesday uh

like this Tuesday one Once I'm back in Miami, we swim in the morning early at 6 a.m. back home by like seven. I go to sleep from like 8 to like 10.30. I wake up at 11, go to American Top Team at 12. I train there for about two hours. Go home. And then I do strength of condition at night. And Wednesday?

Wednesday, I do the same thing as Monday. I'll do strength condition in the morning, rest in the afternoon. And Thursday you need to repeat. Yeah, Tuesday. Exactly. And Friday will be something like Wednesday. Mix with like a Thursday, you know, or maybe I might just spar that day and not do nothing else But that that that's my schedule now. It's not always my schedule. It's I'll have it on

Like if I'm 10 weeks out, it would be different than if I'm five weeks out, you know So when did you start training for this fight? Oh, you didn't stop training. Yeah, I just didn't stop. I didn't stop I didn't stop I didn't have no injuries I was swimming I was running bike I was doing all types of things I wasn't kicking I wasn't punching because I had just fought, but I was doing things to stay in shape. You know, the last two weeks I watched Matt Brown lose to Donald surround. Matt Brown's went around for a while, tough motherfucker, you know, he's gotten, he's lost the last, he's had a bad string of losses recently.

And I was thinking about running backs, how people say the longevity of a running back is three years. When somebody first told me that, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about the longevity the running backs and they said no no no you're thinking about Eric Dickerson and this guy all the people do come into the league and either get hurt or disappear it's so weird how right now all your ducks are lined up I understand where you're at right now and you're pointing your career right now all your ducks are lined up dog oh yeah you know I mean you're healthy it's tough to the UFC if you look at it as a strategist right now it's really a really a really a

The guys that had success, it's been a run. It's been 13, 14 fights. Maybe you lose two. You're a champion for one. And you go off in the limelay. You got money for you and your kids. Somebody's sponsoring you. You're fucking jumping rope on Burger King commercials.

And then you open up a fucking jiu-jitsu school in Miami. And you train fucking Puerto Rican kids in low-privileged fucking neighborhoods or something. You know what? I like the plan. That's the usual. But you know what? Right now in today's UFC thing, if you were going into the UFC, you have to look at it as a three-year process. Expect the fucking derailment, whether it's a loss or an injury, and just go for it for three years.

You know what, man? I usually takes me fucking 12 weeks, and I like to recover for four. Not this fucking time, Jorge. This time we're going in six weeks. You fucking ready? That's what the UFC is about. If you really think about it, that's the run you have to do to get to where you want to go into the UFC. If you fight once or twice a year, that's fine and fucking dead.

If it was up, then I'd be fighting you five times. Yeah, five times. You know, I grew up on boxing, and it seemed like they boxed five times a fucking month. These people were boxing every fucking eight weeks when I was a kid, Roberto Duran and stuff. That's the greatest right there. Yeah, that's my boy. Then all of a sudden, it went to like once a year or twice a year. and they consider the paper of you special event that's how they got the blood out of you

but when I was growing up this guy would fight out of old thing you know what I'm saying yeah and right now if you're a young guy and you're in the UFC or you're thinking of entering the UFC that's the mine fucking session you have to go home with there's going to be hey everybody wants to be kind of McGregor but it's a three-year process considering there's a derailment somewhere God forbid if not you got to go for it and every time you fight at the end and they raise hand and now finally put the microphone on you you got to start pitching you know you can't sit there like a fucking mute no more you got to start pitching who you want to fight they're not got you know unless you mention it then i ain't gonna fucking know it that's the name of the game in

today's ufc no it's definitely more entertaining that's it's more entertaining than ever you got to get off raise your hand and go listen this is who i want next today fuck it tomorrow in the locker room where's dana white where's the fucking jewish guy with the contract let's put this fucking party together once and for all. That's what it takes to be, you know, and you look at that and go, well, there's brain damage, Joey. What are you fucking talking about? I got an uncle who got hit in the head with a raft

18 times. He said he could still spell his name in Spanish and English. What the fuck are you talking about, dog? But that's the true thing. You know, how long did you look at it? Where's GSP? Is he coming back? Fuck no. Fuck no. He don't really want to come back anyway.

You don't think so? Bro, if he wanted me, he's already got money in the back. I thought he was, I don't, man, since I got kids and training, I don't get to keep up on news. Okay, so this is my opinion right now. He's got Guiters put away. Okay, if he comes back to fight, he's going to fight for like an 18th of what he was getting paid for. Okay, because we know that. Yeah, when he was fighting, he was getting real sponsor money.

He had Gatorade or somebody. Did he not get $10 million from somebody fucking big? That kid didn't do anything wrong So everybody who was big at the time Jumped on the GSP fucking boat GSP won what 14 fucking fights How long did this career last?

You want to look it up for me for your uncle Joey How long did the That the fucking career of The whole thing of GSP really last The rain? Was it three years? All right, let's see here Oh my goodness so he started off

7 and 0 and 02 let's see when can you see where he got the championship then he lost to Matt Sarah he lost to Matt Sarah do you know what fighting a lot won for the championship so I can tell you

when this thing started maybe 2003 right 2004 Becky okay here we go well okay right here it is he beat Matt Hughes and 07

or he might have lost it Did he lose the tomato Zero? Yeah In Houston, Texas Okay Jesus Lee, if I knew it was gonna take you this long

I wouldn't have fucking asked you For the love of Christ People falling to sleep already Okay well he lost it In 04 to Matt Hughes And then he won it Against B.J. Pan In 06

That's the next time we won It then how long did he fight for After that? His last last fight was 2013 so wow seven years he had he lost to Matt Sarah in 07 and Matt Hughes in oh four so he won't have for a long fucking time long time beat some good guys yeah yeah he really wanted that yeah and he's not I thought he would be on this Toronto card but there was no fucking sign of him so I know that they're trying to put together

a fighters union i don't know really about it i don't understand all that stuff so i just leave it alone i don't what am i going to do sit there and analyze this shit i'm no fucking attorney horay maldeval it was a fucking you're a fucking bad motherfucker man i wish you all the best man that's amazing i we watched you becky and me watched you he look at him and he comes out there you get all animated and shit and then the captain is out there yelling instructions on Gageta, gaieta. Oh my God. Coño pina, what the fuck is going on with you?

And your opponent's sitting there going, what the fuck is he saying? You know, even when I was a kid and I go to the playground, if I had beef with a kid, my mom would call me over and she gave me hand signals. When I was four and five, my mom used to give me hand signals. And she'd go, miram. If I go like this, do cala, I just want you to. Hit him lightly just to let him know he can't push or the shit. Exactly.

My mom used to get me hands signal. Meta L'Ola Wiyong. That was the big one. Hit him with the big one. Metta L'Olaio. Bobby, metta-Movian. I still remember my mom picking me up at Catholic school. And on the drive back to the bar,

her telling me this, these two fucking little kids that were tormenting me the other day. I told him to come back on Friday. You come back to school. You're going to fight those motherfuckers today. And me being scared and fighting one of both of them in front of the mother's ball. That's... That's old school shit you can't do today.

They'll throw you jail. But that's what gets you ready for the world, I think. That's why they do it. You know, it helps you deal with situations like that. I always think about why my mother put me in Catholic school. At this age, it started to bother me for a few years there. It was either she didn't want me around or she wanted me to get a little bit of a beaten, but she didn't want to give it to me herself.

Which she had no problem giving me a fucking beating. I just thought she just wanted to get a fucking beating. just thought she just wanted to fine point it i always thought about that i always doubt why would she put me in that fucking school for three years at that age if she knew got out of menta that was a fucking and she ended up having to get me out of there by fucking fighting with a fucking nun and stuff at the end at the end i ended up winning and she transferred me to public school because i didn't like those fucking people hitting me that's a tough fucking childhood to have people you don't know put their hands on And they're fucking nuts.

The first year or two was just back hands here or there. But then they started getting pissed off of me not drinking milk. And they would say to me, yeah, you got to drink the milk. I ain't drinking. And they fucking beat me until I drank the fucking milk. That's fucking child molestation and shit. You drink the fucking milk. I'm nuns with Sister Angela.

I never forget she would just smack you till I drank the fucking milk, bro, with back hands. Sister Patricia. Shit. I would have drink the milk so fast. I drank the milk eventually and I'd puke and shit. Which I like milk anyway, though. I don't know fucking lie. I don't never fucking like milk.

I like milkshakes, dog, like a motherfucker. Chalkin vanilla. You gotta put some ice cream and some fucking syrup in that. The Oreo milkshakes? Yeah, no, I'm not a big Oreo shake. Look at the size of me. I gotta keep the shakes. This ladders can be.

I like the Oreos Shakes. I like my shakes thin, thin, thin, water thin with cancer sugar. Cancer sugar, that's how deep I go. I put a scoop out of cancer sugar to sweeten it up. Lee went to a place yesterday. He went to see a bad movie after I advised him for three weeks, but the boss wanted to go see it, so he had no choice.

When the boss gives him an order, he's doomed. I like that movie, too. Do you see Batzana? No, he's busy. He's got a fucking life. He don't need to go see fans. Who's in that movie? Yeah.

I have Belly Bob Thornton. Yeah. I've seen Bad Santa. Yeah, of course. The first one. The first one. Right. You didn't go to movies to see the second one.

No. Because you know it's going to be a disaster just by watching the trailer. For three weeks, even the kid canceled down him two weeks in the row, which he got out of it. And I said to him, Lee, you don't want to go see that movie. You're from Boston. Go see the movie with that kid from Boston and go represent your city. He doesn't go. He was right there by the earthquake.

He went to Hollywood. No, I didn't. I went to North Hollywood. How did you end up at a 101 diner in Hollywood? I just went there. I mean, you just went there. You're a fucking gumo. You know that? That's a good call, though.

That's a good call, but they do have a good milkshake there. If you're ever in Hollywood late night, you're at the Hollywood 101 diner before you get on the 101 right there, on Gow would go in there and get a coconut milkshake. And just pay for the parking. I was an asshole, and I was trying to drive around and find parking. You just parked by the hotel. You go into the hotel like a fucking Momo.

There's parking for the diner. You don't pay. You don't go to. I did, but that was full. See what I'm saying? This is what I got to deal with four years of college. It was full. It was full.

It wasn't full. It was too. What time were you there? Whenever I called you, right? Levin, no, it wasn't full. It was too full. You just parked these fucking collars kids love to walk.

He probably parked and called an Uber to get them over. That's Uber. But I got a, uh, steak and eggs, but you said I should have got a certain shake, right? No, the vanilla shake there is tremendous. No, not the venouss

You get scrambled eggs? No, I got steak and eggs Well, so you get scrambled eggs? No, I got, uh, over easy. Over easy. Do you eat the yolk? Of course, I once. All right, we gotta watch.

I don't know if you're eating fucking billy goat eggs or what the fuck he's doing. Hornhead Mardi Bar, you're looking at me like, what the fuck is going on there? Fucking loving him. You're fighting, I'm excited and shit, you're on the show. You're representing. You even live in Miami.

That is Like I said, man, that's like for me, like, it's a distant dream that I don't know if I can handle it this age. It's the food itself is going to be the major problem, I think. It's too much access to good food at whatever time you want, 5 a.m., 4 a.m., you know, for what us consider, like top shelf food, you know. I had spent, like I said, I had spent five or six summers, maybe seven summers in Miami. by the time my mom had died and after she died at the funeral the lady asked me

she goes listen I think your best bet right now in this situation you're in is to move to Miami and I always thought about it but it was something about Miami I thought it was too much fucking Cuban for me like Union City was just enough Union City was just 40 blocks of Cubans

that it ends and it becomes something else for a while and then on the different street it becomes Cuban again. But go asshole, Cuban. This is where all the shootings were. The bookmaking and the fucking...

The bookmaking for... Is it the Lodoree is what you're talking about? Yeah. La Olita. La Olita. Yeah. The headquartered is in New Jersey, but it works in New York

because if you get caught bookmaking in New Jersey, it's a felony. If you get caught bookmaking in New York, it's a misdemeanor. Wow. So it's a big difference. Is it considered bookmaking?

Yeah, La Volita is considered bookmaking. No, fucking. La Volita was really created in Tampa by that one mobster. And then he took it to Cuba, then they took it back to the streets of Florida, and then New Jersey in that area. That's crazy. And it became part of the culture so much

that I would have a sense. store that sold sodas and magazines and maybe patelito and papa rea and i would also on top of me have the books that were hanging and they would say book of dreams and let's say the night before you had a dream becky that you and lee went over a bridge and you had a red dress on so you go to the book of dreams you open it up and it would say book of dreams red dress red dress Cinque. And then you'd have to put a number in front of the 56. So let's say you looked at red dress, 56,

you'd look at Lee and say, what number do I put in front of here? Three, three, $356, $356, $3.56. That's where the superstitious really went in. Like, you couldn't say cancer in front of my mother. She would spit on herself. So if you would say, oh yeah, you hear about this guy, he has cancer, my mother would go,

hey, no, yeah, I don't. You know, those are the superstitious that drive me fucking crazy. But they work for me. Like, don't hang out with three people. That's the big Cuban one where I came from and nail me in the ass when I got arrested. Don't do nothing in threes. Yeah. No, I'm not, but they're three.

And you know what's funny is when you talk to different Cubans, sometimes there's different theories behind it. You know, like you might have a different theory on why they say that. So it's interesting when we used to interview other Cubans to see, like, what is the theory behind the... Don't do not in the threes. Don't go to a car and threes. But why is that? I don't remember why that one. In my world, it was because if you got in trouble, two of you could go against one. And when I got arrested, that's exactly what happened.

I was getting arrested. I'm like, they fucking told me. I grew up, I couldn't hang out on corners. I could hang on the street, but they didn't want me on corners. and they would fucking go after me if they saw me on a corner I was allowed to play on the street but I could not hang out on corners it was fucking amazing

growing up like that yeah when the whole neighborhood was out everybody was just out like on Saturday all the kids would be out yeah I wasn't allowed no no but I wasn't allowed to play on corners because they said I was just my family said I was a sponge

and that you on corners is where people drop off their bad luck so I would have to win one I want you a little gold thing with fucking a black ball. Lee, you're going through changes again over that. Look at you. No, I'm doing. I'm a fucked up.

I'm not going through changes. Yeah, you're going to see that. I couldn't understand what just came out of your mouth. What's going on with you talk to me? You want to ask Jorge, any questions? Are you okay? Do you need to take a walk? I'm fine.

No, no, no, no. Keep talking because I have five questions you and talking about being about all this stuff. Yeah, take them. What's the questions you got from? I gotta go to the bathroom here. Huh? Oh, Jesus Christ, he's got him written in the phone. No, I don't.

Then ask him, what the fuck? Jesus, Christ. All right. Here we go. What do you think about, you were talking about the schedule you want to fight? What do you think about cowboy schedule? The schedule he's fighting. What do you mean the schedule he does for training?

No, no, no, the actual, he's fighting pretty regular, more regularly than most UFC fighters seem to fight. Oh, like, is how active he is? Yes, absolutely. What about it? Like, do you think it could go against him? Like, what do you think? It does it change your, how you go to prepare for a fighter that fights at often? Like, what do you think it says about him?

I don't know, does it, it seems odd since not that many people do it. I think it's the way it should be. Just compete as much as you can. If your body's helping, you can do it again, why not? You know, it's really a mind thing. It's up to the fighter. Okay, absolutely. Does it change?

I mean, you said you hoped that you could bet on it, but does it change? What do you think about being the underdog if you're the underdog? No, that's what I'm hoping. Then I'm the underdog. Why is that? So I could get double, triple my money. I hope I'm a huge underdog because I'm just gonna make that much more money. Okay, fair enough. Um, let's see.

I didn't know you could bet on yourself. I know I'm not gonna bet on myself. Oh fair enough. advise people to bet on me. That's pretty cool. Because yeah, you have to have that kind of confidence in yourself, right? In this particular fight, I do. You haven't always been this confident in your fighting or in your inner opponent?

No, I could just say this. I've never been more confident. Oh. You need to teach a class for kids like me. But look nerdy kids. Um, all right. you have a like a platform here what do you think about just finding up opponents who miss weight like what do you think about that i got a lot of pro fights and i never miss weight and i i used to

drop a lot of water to get the 155 pounds so i know it's tough you know when you're losing 10 to 15 pounds and and within hours it's tough it hurts you know but when you sign the dotted line you got to do your part in the commitment that you agreed upon you you know like shaking hands we both agree we're going to make weight and then fight

so when you break that it's it's kind of cheating you know I did the extra work that it took where there was not eat that slice of cheesecake not eat the slice of pizza

and then run in the morning and then wake up and swim in the morning and then I did all that stuff and then you didn't it's a big difference you know I think it's cheating

absolutely and couldn't if the only penalty is 20% of the purse is those is that amount of either not putting your body through that or either the weight is that worth

the 80% do you think they could win and just give up the 20% I don't know I kind of got lost sorry do you think that much of a it's a fucking respectingly I agree to fight you at 170

you agree to fight me at 170 The least you could do is make the fucking weight. And I understand there's struggles in making weight. I'm living fucking proof. But I didn't sign a contract to fight somebody for money on live television either. So, you know, again, a fighter has to keep in shape year-round. It's not like Muhammad Ali. He'd go up to two fucking 90s and drop 60.

Remember you hear those stories. He dropped 40 pounds with this fight. What are you talking about? You're a fighter. How did you gain 40? 40 fucking pounds. Now in today's economy, in today's economy, in today's UFC scenario, you're training in your fucking round. You got a fight. You got six weeks. You specialize in this

thing. And as you know, at Lee, the strategy is, like, especially with Jorge, he knows it's not how many people you shoot. It's who you shoot. Correct. Correct. It's where you are. In today's world, they schedule a big money card. He gets hurt. He sprains his ankle. You're in shape, you're running hills, you raise your hand, you get the fight, you knock the motherfucker out, there you are. There you are. It's all a fucking flash.

When we did comedy this last six months, you and I saw how I had a strategy, let's do the fucking will turn, let's do this, let's do the special, this comes out, and the strategy worked. It's the same thing. You could spin your wheels forever. Donald Serone, I love him to death, and I love his heart, bro. He fights constantly, but again, he fought, and then he complained about, if you just let them know

you'll find out of the day's notice for $5,000, that's what they're going to fucking pay you. That's what they're going to do, though. So there's somewhere in between. It's like when you first start comedy, you're getting $100 to show, but somebody wants to pay you $40. If you love comedy so much,

you'll do it for the 40, but if you're hurting other comedians, there's like a fucking secret code. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I love comedy. When I first started doing comedy, all I want to do,

was get better. So I didn't care whether you had a hamburger. If you pay me 50 bucks, that was great. You want to pay me a hundred. Fuck. I could buy some coke after the fucking show now and still go home with a little cash. You know what? Becky Gonzalez is in the fucking house.

Anyway, that's the strategy. He's got a great opportunity. Ellenberger, boom, bam, and he's got to say something. There's a fucking fight. And where's this fight at? Brooklyn? Denver. Denver Colorado

And you're going up there January I'm not I told you but I'm not going to give the details out the cowboy Okay But I'm gonna be out there though Okay yeah Because it's like six weeks to acclimate the shit

Something like that But we got a We got a system that we believe in a Cuban system Actually That is that's used by the Cuban national team That uh what they use to acclimate Their athletes So we're gonna go by that model

Yeah Okay, a lot of water. No, always a lot of water, but... Be careful. The way that they acclimate to the altitude is different than like the American style of acclimating. So we're going to try the Cuban one. It'll be a Cuban victory. Well, I'm going to tell you something.

The first time I moved to Aspen, I packed my bags. I got to the room where I was living in. I took a shower. I got dressed. And the guys I lived from my hometown, they go, hey, we're going to a party. in the afternoon you want to come and guess what? There was a bong there by the window and they were all

doing bong hits and they go would you like a bong hit? They're like, nah, don't get him a bonging and I'm like, what are you talking about? I've been spoken for years. And I'm like, bro, the altitude's gonna get you know, I'm like, the altitude ain't gonna fucking get me. I did fine. I walked up the stairs and everything. I did a Cuban bonnet.

Next thing I woke up, the bong broke, I passed the fuck out. They ain't playing games at Mazz de Val. Which one's the Cuban bung? I'm just lying to you. I took a bonk at like a Cuban savage. Which I'm saying to you that it takes a, it's a fucking weird process. I went up there a couple years ago to shoot a movie, bro.

I lived up there for 15 years. I did time in Colorado. I did fucking time. I lived in Aspen. I used to go to rifle. That's a skilat. Yeah, when I was fucking 19. That's a great issue.

You know, when you do it for free. You know, I got so spoiled that when I moved, I love skiing. Skings and shit. But I love skiing when I could open up that door. And I knew all the guards. I lived in the Snowman's Village, so I knew all the guards on the hill. So they told me the scam. They said, listen, all you need to do is get to a certain point.

They don't check out badges after that. This is, you know, so I could ski as long as I didn't go below those levels. I just had to go above those levels. where I lived, all I had to do was take my skis and put them on and walk maybe 50 yards and then ski down and I could get on a lift. That's how spoiled I was, guys.

And I had a three mountain pass. When I grew up in Jersey, it was no skiing for me. Fuck you. There was a Playboy club and they had midnight skiing. Good luck, Jack. Unfreikandong, they're bing gong.

I'm talking about 30 below wind shield. You're out there trying to be cute with three vodka's in you, and that wind catches you. First of all, that's not snow. That's packed fucking snow that becomes ice. You hit that, you die. I did it one time at midnight. I went to the top. I skied a little bit.

I said, help me come up here. They sent my three dudes. They took me down. I never thought I'd ski again. I moved to Colorado. It took me maybe a month after the ski season opened to go, you know what? Let's give this a try. And I got hooked just like I did with Jujitsu.

Then my whole life, then I learned how people that live up there ski that say they got to go to work at one, they go up there at 8, and they ski from 8 to 11. And you have to be in shape to do that shit. Like, you really got to be in shape to ski 8 to 11, then 8 to 12, then 8 to 2. You can't drink, you know. But when you leave there, you're fucking sore, Jack.

So it took me about a month to get kind of deep. and then I just winged it and the one season I skied okay and then I moved back to Jersey and when I went back to Aspen the second time I really got into it I really really but it was so easy for me all I had to do again was maybe go up 50 yards and go down and I could ski for free you know once I moved to Boulder that four-hour shit I ain't driving You do like to do all the other like the blues and the blacks and all that shit. What do you mean? Like I'm the,

At that point in my life, I went from skiing with 185s. They don't even use that system no more to 205s. I got that good. Plus the guy next door to me, his father had died. And I let the money to go back to the funeral. He was a general manager at the time of a place called Sport Kaelin. And they were the biggest retailer in town. So he would tell me, bro, every time you're skiing.

come in let me hook you up with demos he would put the best fucking skis on me i didn't even know what the fucking was doing skein's i got good but i couldn't stop skein's like fighting that was my fucking situation i couldn't stop i was never good at stopping at breaking at breaking yeah i would take all fucking lines of people waiting and get on the fucking thing i was a fucking savage dog that's the fucking only way to ski man i really really enjoyed it and then i said i want to move back to bone i got divorced and i did the college girl and me and her trying to go ski up there fuck you you gotta get up at five in the morning and you can't take the mushrooms till you get there and by the time you get there it's a

four-hour drive what do you think you're doing a car with me for four hours sit there and sing you're smoking fucking refa like a savage by the time you get to your destination you're like who talked about what ski is i gotta go take a fucking nap we would go up there let's go in the car and take a fucking that. That's it. Two times I went skiing, by the time you get up there, you're so tired from all the rea you smoked in those

four fucking hours. So I gave up on skiing. That was my career. It was a fucking skiing right there. That was it, Papa. It's too much. Like right now I got to drag out. One of the funnest things ever.

Oh, come on. I love it. I want to teach my daughter how to ski. Because right now, when they're three to four and a half, they're the best they are because they're close to the, they just learn to tuck. Yeah.

They learn how to break. They call them like ski bunnies or whatever. Yeah. Shit. Put them on the bunny hills, right? You put them on the bunny hills. Fucking, they knock it out. But she gets car sick if I take her up there.

So that's the situation I got. Gets he was said, compa. Kaua'aenaed or translated. Gentlemen, this would not happen in Cuba. See, I grew up with those people. I got to ask you, how did you learn how to swim? Did you, they threw you in the pool? Uh...

Cuban style, like, "'Dir in a bisona nomad, "'He'll be able to bring "'as he awoke, that's awoke, "'that means, "'don't let him be dumb, "'he knows how to swim, "'if not let him drown,

"'and that's the mentality. "'I drowned that sent... "'I drowned in the real two stories "'that I learned how to swim. "'I was fucking around. "'I was fucking around. "'And, you know, "'in those days when you got

trouble and they warned you about it after you fucked up they give you a beat so I was pretty good at swimming I was a skinny kid and I did the whole president's swimming program and at PS 166 where they take it to a place and you swim during the week and if you do the laps and hold your breath they give you a patch you have to do 200 push-ups to sit-ups I didn't get that patch because I couldn't do pull-ups okay hang on line though buddy somebody just broke me one of those patches about two years ago to be shown i never put it on my geek but in those days there were two tests there was a president's nobody else took those fucking tests growing up here i did but i i i know yeah i know you were fucking i did them you didn't get no metal cucks i didn't get no metal of course i

didn't get no metal and you didn't get a patch he that don't like because i didn't get a patch who said i got a patch you think that's probably like field they what they call nowadays field day no this is when they fucking people came in from the state and they made you do a 40. They made you do... What did you say it was called? A president's fitness award. And if you did everything,

you got a patch from the president. You should have meant... You know what it meant? That you were a dumb fuck. It didn't mean dick. All right, that's what it meant. You could do 10 jumping jazz. Go fuck yourself.

Like, you get meant nothing. Like, it's going to get your job at the gym or you're going to be a personal trainer. Who gives a fuck? But... We'll be talking about here. Lee, you threw me off here. We're talking about a good, deep conversation.

I apologize. What is it? The elevation. The elevation. Yeah, yeah, the elevation. So what are we talking about here? So I don't fucking know. I can't be eating those stars no more.

You know, everything's all right till I eat the star, and then the memory fucking goes during conversations and shit. I'm just happy to go back to Miami now until whatever. So you'll go back Tuesday. When is the party study? your house do you get together with your family your dad still and everybody my dad is currently in texas he uh he's living with my brother my brother has a construction company out there so my dad's working with him and they're doing everything you know my dad was with me for a while um helping me

out with the kids but it's uh like for job opportunities he has so much more with my with my brother you know they're out to make money so um like for new years we'll get together all of us traditional you know pork roasted for eight hours The huge, like, three tables like this spread with rice, salad, the yuga. What else? The mango salad. You guys have had that one, right? With the avogate?

You've had that. I don't like that stuff. I'm a fucking meat and potatoes type Cuban. No, then, yeah. Let me tell you. The lechong and the... How old school I am. Don't even put yuga close to me.

Wow. I can't smell this. I can't stand the smell of you. like ranch dressing I'm one of the only Cubans that fucking hates you could I don't even like it in my goddamn table get that you got you got frita don't like nothing to do with that shit I want everything else I want the pork white meat I want that crispy piece right there give me a piece of the ear the tons yeah give me those you're going harder on the tonis I go harder the tautones I go

full of salt salty like a motherfucker there's no blood pressure give me the fucking white rice with the black beans no black beans with frank's hot sauce to mix the black beans in that to give the black beans a little spice the black beans should have to cino in them pieces of ham and i'm gonna sita de puico type of motherfucker i'm gonna see that puico type of motherfucker nine other chicharon i'm a must eat the puiko type of guy always that's why that's why i hate that's why even served at my wedding that's a type of motherfucker I got. I got catered from old Cochinito.

You're the fucking biggest OG, bro. You fucking that right there. That's what I got at my wedding. Fuck you. Fuck everybody's what I want to eat and everybody's eating Massita Buico. Because only a fucking moron would hate that. If you came to me

and said, Joe, I'm really not happy with this election. Let me tell you what I got from my wedding. I went right to the heart of the matter. I got like 10 pounds of my secret, boyko, a little lanko, tortore. I got black beans. I got a little yucca, even though I'm not a believer. Then I went to a deli called Langus that says the best pastrami.

These are professional Jews, you understand me? They're so professional, they close up at four. Okay, old school, pastrami. I went and got maybe 10 pounds of that in case you're Jewish and you want pastrami. But the secret's not the pastrami. It's the bread they put it on. It's a crispy fucking rye bread. You have no idea.

You grew up here. You should be ashamed of yourself. They should be stabbed in the heart. It's on Alvarado Street. It's right down the block from where we were last night. I was so fucking pissed. I can't believe I come to Alvarado for a fucking party. I should be coming down here twice a week for a pastrami sandwich.

The problem is the pastrami doesn't go on sale until 10.30. And by 11 o'clock, there's a fucking line outside. So you have to get, we have to leave the valley to get the fucking Alvarado at 10.30, 1045. I got to bring Lee with me. We can't do it. It's impossible. I dream it every night. Tomorrow's the day I call Lee and go come get me.

We're going to fucking Langus. You've offered it like four times and every time it doesn't happen? No, because it's a joint. It's going to happen one day. We can't get there. at one because it's an hour wait and that's fucking embarrassing you can't talk to the waitress

you can't bump into the daughter you got to fucking you go nice at like 1045 like oh my god what a surprise and they'll say to you are you here for the pastrami isn't on the menu you know what I'm saying you don't want to go like a fat fuck I'm here for the pastrami

because then don't know you're a fat fuck if you go in there oh my god I'm thinking of a nice salad you're not here for the pastrami is no leave Did you come here for the pastrami? No, I didn't. Neither did I, but it sounds pretty fucking good. There's nobody eats pastrami 10.45 in the morning. Me, I get your pastrami sandwich at 6 a.m. ready to fucking go.

With a matthewa, we come on this. Give me the fucking ads. Lee, don't sit there like a babaloo of y'a over there. How are you, Lee? I'm amazing. Who pina? Upina. Yeah, sure.

You know, I mean, listen, man, I got to be honest with everybody right now. Now, as much shit as I talk, I've learned a thing or two about how Cona McGregor puts things together. You look in the back now and you see how you put little things together. And they backfired on the Diaz thing. But the other two moves didn't backfired. They were carefully thought out. Okay, every move was carefully thought out. Two years ago, three years ago,

Charles Sutton was the UFC Golden Boy. Yeah. And his opponent fell on. They offered the fight that John John. Jones and John Jones wouldn't fight them. And people got furious, they called them a pussy. Because John Jones knew. It's not how many people you fight.

It's who you fight. You understand? If I beat Chale Southern, what's it going to do for me? Nothing. They're still going to hate me. You know, and that's, it's picking good fights or picking bad fights. You've been picking pretty good fights for yourself lately. So I want to congratulate you, bad motherfucker.

And now you got this one ahead of you. High altitude. I forgot all about the fucking high altitude. But you know, look what recently just happened. Cuban mythology on the altitude. I believe you. That's the approach we're taking. You know, I really studied that, I really learned a lot from the Dosanios fight.

No, the Redoon fight when he fought, what's his name, the first time in Mexico, and the windy. And I don't think, and, you know, everybody knows Kane as great cardio as it was. but the altitude in fucking Mexico whatever they were in Mexico City was a little bit much to him it was just

don't play it off Jorge no no don't play it off I was up there a few years ago filming a movie I lived there forever I got altitude sickness

I got altitude sickness I lived there for 15 years I did fucking time in Colorado in those hills and I went to shoot a movie I got altitude sickness I didn't know what it was I went to the doctor

and just go to your room sleep it off but you don't need altitude sickness the day of the motherfucking fight. Because at that point, I had been there a week. No, no, no, I'm going. I had just pushed the envelope a little bit. And I didn't ski.

I was shooting a movie, but it had to happen on a ski mountain. So every day, I would say, let me go up a little high and see what this looks like. But one day, I went up real high and I started talking shit to some people. And all of some, my world started shattering and shit. So it's the real deal. I just don't play with that shit. I've been to Peruta, Cusco, and it's like, I don't know, I think like 11,000 and 12,000 feet of elevation. That's my own.

And for your style of bringing it. No, yeah, yeah. You got to be upset. So if I was you, I'd go right from here via helicopter. We'll get a plane to drop you up like Sosa. We'll have a plane in Bermuda. We'll have you back in Columbia here by the morning. And the guy wife's, no, okay, I'll give him the message.

And all of them, they'll kill him on the fucking plane. I'm not saying they're like I'm just saying that That's the type of shit We'll helicopter you that tomorrow so you got five good weeks of We'll give you the boss root and fucking mouthpiece So you can run through the hills We'll get Dr. Belize up to see you Cuban woman Dr. Belize

She has that book breathe She'll fucking go up there and teach you how to breathe correctly And shit last week she was in Israel Working with some fucking Krafmaga intelligence She said she couldn't believe how bad that cardio was their breathing was off that's crap that's something so interesting because um i just recently started working with like triathletes and their level of endurance and things that i thought that i was good at is so beyond minds in certain areas you know so seeing how they breathe and how they do things

like when they swim and stuff there's different types of breathing so that's like that's super interesting as to you have you felt the swimming helped your training a lot since i started swimming with But I used to swim on my own after practice. I was just getting the pool and swim for like an hour, just for like weight purposes. And I didn't feel much in the cardio. But now that I swim with swimmers and I keep up with the pace of theirs, you know, I'm like, I'm seconds behind them.

They're continuously beating me, but I'm just seconds behind them. I used to be like minutes behind them. Now I'm like eight seconds behind them. And that's like an all-out sprint for me, you know? It's like being on the field and just giving it everything. So it's good because there's no impact on the body. So I love it. There's a place in Burbank here that they have.

have a program that you sign up either in the morning at night. I did it. I did it for two years in bold. I was blown away at what I did. And when I walked in there, I jumped in the pool, and he goes to go over here and swim. I couldn't fucking, so I could swim, you know, for a stand to swim, but I couldn't fucking swim.

I swam into the wall. And I looked up, I had swam 10 feet, I swam into the wall. And she goes, all right, we have to start from scratch. And she trained me. And I would go in. And I do these fucking workouts, bro. You know, 440s with a ball between your legs. Pull.

Oh, yeah. You know, 440s pulling. 440s with a board, go. And then it became like the first week she put me in the slow lane. It took me two or three weeks to get out of the slow lane dog. But I would leave there and I would, and this before, I was going to get sentenced for prison. And this was my workout. I worked at Hertz Renekon.

I had to be there at nine. This, you had to be there at six. am. I would ride my bike to the Hurt to the fucking swim place, swim from 6 to 7 right back to Hertz, and then I take a shower, eat breakfast, and then I ride my bike

to fucking Hertz. I'd work for 8, 10 hours, ride my bike home, eat dinner, and I go on the patio and hit the bag. I'd shadow box hit the bag. Fucking try athlete. You didn't even walk in weights. I had no idea. And then one day she goes, listen, I saw how you ride your bike. Why don't you do a biathlon?

Instead of doing try, I'd do where you swim, and you ride a bicycle and I said, fine. And there was like a half a mile swim in Boulder Reservoir, which was fucking disgusting. Jorge, I was never so scared in my life. I like swimming in control places like a pool. Everything else, after a while, after I start doing it, I think I'm going to get attacked by something.

So I can't do it. Ever since I was a kid in Miami, I don't play that shit. I've been watching the ocean since I was seven. I'm not like these dumb motherfuckers. Come on out. The water feels great. Fuck you. No, if you see the choppers.

Yeah. Fuck you. I used to go to Miami as a child by the Newport. Yeah, yeah, by the Newport Hotel, where that shit's all ancient now. Down there, by the southwest or whatever. Go pee. I'll read these fucking things and we'll get the hell out of here. What's up, Lisa, yet?

I'm doing good. You're not doing fucking good. Your highest fuck. Look at the shape of you and shit like that. Anyway, it's the holiday time of the year, man. Thank you for listening to the fucking podcast. I know you guys are going to be real busy. I just want to take the chance.

Me, Lee Syatt, my girl fucking Becky from, uh, what's the name of the, Matt Therapy. Stop with the goddamn chair. Me and my man, Matt Therapy over here. I want to wish you guys a happy holidays. Also, listen, man, I know you guys have shitty mattresses, whatever. You always talk about. getting a new mattress, maybe you're interested, maybe you're not.

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What was it? underwear with Santa on. Tremendous. Guess what? Nobody's going to see my underwear, but it made me happy. I only wear the underwear to Jitsu. That's it.

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Listen, if you're going to take it to the hoop, you got to take it to the hoop like Pablo Escobar. If there's one thing you learn from Narcos, yeah, he was a killer, he had a lot of faults. But he got to one place, because when he went for something, he went big. If that's what you took from watching that, that's what I took in the nutshell.

He was ruthless, and he was a scumbagging in a lot of ways. They took a lot of innocent lives. But he made his point. What? What? With the gumita, I got to go out.

Oh, no, no, you're saying. Destructing. No, no, that's being got. I'm telling you. I'm sorry. No, no, I understand. I was in another planet, and then I come back now.

No, no, no, it's okay. It's all right. It happens to the best of us, my brother. How are you doing, Lisa? Lee's fucking gone. Lee, listen. I got to tell you something. There's my brother,

because I don't get it no more. I don't know what you do. doing over there on the weekends but you got about two weeks to straighten up then I got this talk I got to take your side and take it to the special people to talk to you because you come on the show and you fall apart you tell me you're in training you're doing this you're doing that the other night he called me like panicking he must eat 22 stars by himself panicking yeah and then I don't know what he's doing because he comes here he eats three stars and a piece of chocolate look at him

He sits there like Johnny Murt. You don't say two words. He's scared. Look at him. I think I'm a little bit more action than the other times. Becky's been here. I think I'm fine. Is my fault?

No. No, it's not. You see Becky, you fall apart. Your heart beats the death. What happens to you? What can I say? All right. I'm just checking with you in Chicago.

Sucker. You're all right. You know I love you. I just, I don't know what you're doing on the weekend. You're not training no more. I'm training. You're eating like one star, and you lie to me. You tell me you read to him.

This is what I got to deal with. This is what I've got to deal with, Martin. He's supposed to be training. He comes here, he falls apart. Then he wonders why I get fucking mad. I don't love him. You know what I'm saying? I want you to start training on the weekends heavy, like a soldier.

I do. I see you on Periscope. He eat three little stars. I see the magic two fingers. Yes, you do. He takes the finger and he throws him down the street. He thinks I never watched the Three Stooges in comedy before. I don't know how to get rid of a star.

The fact that you think I'm agile, I love to handle Three Stooges maneuvers, means you don't know me very well. You know me very well. You know, I cannot do Three Stooges things, so. Anyway, all right, ladies and gentlemen, what's the best thing you bought for $399? You know what, man, my buddies bought CISO.

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but I will. C-S-O is pretty amazing. The only of that I watched, what's his name showing there? With Ariane Shafia, Big J. Ocas in the show. It really is a great little thing. And there was a new original comedy. They talked to the audience. I forget what the name of the show is.

Oh, is it? What's your fucking deal? Yeah, what's your fucking deal? It's a great little show, all right? I never even thought that existed. But if you like shows like that, you want C-S-O. C-S-O is spelled S-E-E-E-E-S-O, and is the new ad-free streaming streaming, service bringing you hilarious

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when you use promo code Joey at checkpoint. So just go to CSO.com right now. Go try CSO free for two months when you put in Joey. Just go to CSO.com right now, sign up for two months of free with promo code Joey at checkout. All right, that's siso.com promo code Joey. I want to thank me yonnie's. I want to thank CISO. I want to thank honor and I want to thank Helix

and I want to thank my main Cuban Jorge Mazda Vidal. I've been a fan of yours for a long time. More like family, I cheer for you, and I'll be cheering for you in fucking January. You're a good dude. And you earned what you, every little fucking thing you got.

So how many fights you got? I got, uh, 44? Something like that. So I haven't had 44 arguments. No, of course. Yeah. You've had 44 in a day. Yeah, yeah, you're rather bullshit.

You're shit like that. We'll be back in the two or three days, cuckers. Thank you for this. And don't forget, Wednesday night, I'm at the Hong Kong Inn. Lee Syatt's taking the ride. 8 o'clock show and Ventura

get tickets on brown paper tickets.com and Thursday I'm on Ari's show this is not happening thank you for supporting the show please support Mr. Jorge here

please support my girl Becky with the math therapy podcast and Lee is the baddest motherfucker producer working right now give me some love I'll see you guys this week

stay black and beautiful guys see