The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #458 - Kevin Couch

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

Kevin Couch, radio producer and host for over 15 years heard on Sirius and National Lampoon Radio, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Helix Sleep: Go to helixsleep.com/JOEY to get $50 off of your order off your custom mattress.    Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/joey to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 02/22/2017.  

This show is presented by On It. The church of what's happening now is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Go to Helixleep.com, answer a few simple questions, and you can build a custom address online that will cost you hundreds instead of thousands. And the best part is when you go to Helixleep.com slash Joey right now, you're going to get $50 off of your order. That's Helixleep.com slash Joey to get $50 off of your order. This show is also brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free.

That's right. You get three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash Joey. My dad's signing up this week. He's going to love it. I love it. Go to blue apron.com slash Joey to get your first three meals for free with free shipping. Oh shit. Kick this meal, Lee.

Are you fucking kidding me? This is an American. As it gets, the church of what's happened now. Fuck Trump, fuck Hillary, fuck Bernie Sanders, fuck them all. Here we go. You kidding me. Shit. Wednesday, the 22nd of February.

The day the devil was buried in sea. Let's do this shit. Kevin Couch. What a boy? Here we go. We're an American band. We're coming to your town We'll help you party in town

We're an American town We'll come into your town And we'll help you party down Who's better than that? Nobody. But they didn't say the magic word Nobody said nothing about Suckin my dick if they came to town

And that's a magic word You're not sick of my dig Why are you in my town? You know what I'm saying? She can't cook, I don't want to hear Yeah, it should be like in the package They give you at the Chamber of Commerce It's like where you are

There's Joey Get to it What's happening Kevin Capp What's going on, Joey? God Googly Dude, it's so good to see you, man. Moble, it's great to see you. I'm so glad that I saw you at the grocery store at 6 o'clock in the morning.

Walking around stone like a fucking zombie. Yeah, on a Sunday. Before church. I looked at you. I said, Jesus Christ. What are you doing at the Ralph's at 6 in the morning? It's going to church. I figured I'd stop in Rouse and getting like a banana and stuff.

I'd kill time for my wife. I don't know what the fuck I was doing that. I just thinking about him the day before, too. And then I go like, oh, that dude looks like Joey. And I was like, oh, wait, I'm in Los Angeles. Probably is Joey, and then sure enough it was. True story, I have found a little bag of cocaine in line at that Rouse. Right there at Sherman Oaks?

Right there at Sherman Oaks at Coldwater. How much coffee was in there? It was just like, it was a tiny, tiny bit, but I was just like, I thought it would know, man. I thought it was one of those. Oh, bullshit me. It's Los Angeles. I thought I was on like a punk show or something. So I did the thing, and I was like, I gave it to the Rouse chick, and she took it.

But there was cocaine in the, in the Ralph's line. That's not something that happens in Brookville. And you feel like Graham, you were taking it. I would, yeah, I'd probably made some money.

I paid for my groceries. Big fucking Coke rock. You put that in your pocket and you just walk out of Ross. I'd be back. I'd pass that off instead of like a buck. I don't, you don't, you don't dabble?

No, man, I don't mess with that. You ever dabble? No, no. No. No. No.

No. A fucking line of horse. One time I, the one time I ever did cocaine, it was when I first moved to Los Angeles, and I was at a party. And Oasis was there doing cocaine. And I thought, if you're ever going to do it,

do it with Oasis. And so. How many lines did you do? I mostly faked it. I mostly went through the other nostril. I don't, I don't. Good for you, man. Yeah, man.

That stuff doesn't really. It doesn't, listen, man, not everybody just for everybody. Yeah. You know, there's people who do meth. I can't do fucking met and stay up for three days. Yeah. But some people do fucking met, you know. Yeah, I like to do apples.

I'm a boring. I'm like the most boring person that's ever, you know, been a friend of yours probably. I think of time to time. Yeah, everyone's in a while. That's it. It's Los Angeles. That's it. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's like a cup of coffee here.

You know, for years I had this fucking thing. I had to overcompensate with Coke because I didn't drink. Yeah. So when I went out, you know, after you do two or three lines of Coke, you'll drink fucking horse piss. It doesn't matter as long as it's got alcohol in it. So, Jesus. You know, because, yeah, you got to trim that fucking edge off. You got to take the edge off.

If you're smoking cigarettes, you're drinking whiskey on the rocks. You know, you're like, forget the fucking back. You know, forget the ginger ale back. Just give me the fucking whiskey. No ice cubes. I didn't want ice cubes. That's how strong this blow is. So I would drink, but I'm not a social drinker.

Yeah. And I envy that. I have nothing. Like, I can't call Lee and go Lee. What are you doing right now? No, let's go get a drink. We've never gone to drink. We've never gone.

We've never gone. I'm going to fucking beer. I don't, I was saying that about you today. I was saying, somebody asked me, they said, well, Joey doesn't drink. And I said, I don't think he does drink. But the cocaine thing, I did tell that story about the comedy store where you had to jump in somebody's truck. You had to jump in the back of somebody's truck and you were doing it off of some chick. That was the place in Hollywood in the freezer, I think maybe.

Oh. The freezer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in Ralphie Mae when I had a run out of this, not the standard, but the other place. When Dane Cook became a king. Right. Laugh. No, across from

Miyagi's. There used to be that big hot restaurant there on Tuesday nights. Oh, I don't know. And that's where it was. Jay Davis was the host. And that's where that happened. No, I haven't done blowing nine fucking years.

Yeah. It's going to be fucking November 7th. It'll be 10 years. You look great, by the way. Since I did fucking blow. From the last time I saw you, man. Because we used to go to the gym, too. Yeah, yeah, at the YMCA.

Yeah, the Hollywood Y. And yeah, you have trimmed up. How much weight have you lost? Like 80 pounds? Like 115. Yeah. Looks good, man. You look healthy.

Crazy, man. Fatherhood has been good to you. No, I lost the weight before the fatherhood. Oh, did you? I went down, like, right before I knocked her up, I went to weight watches for a year, and I went from 418 to fucking 270. Yeah. My head got too big, and I was starting to get dizzy and shit and fucking,

People weren't eye on me for roles because I would go into these auditions and my neck was really skinny. You ever see when somebody has cancer or they just go on chemo? Yeah, yeah. My neck looks all fucked up, so I said, fuck this. I went up to like $2.90. Now I'm about like $2.97. As long as I'm not 300 pounds, I'm good. Yeah.

You know, that's my, that's the thing I stray away from over the holidays. I went up to like 303, but that's great. It's a holiday. Yeah, it's a holiday, four pounds. That doesn't count. You know, I remember holidays. It's almost like losing weight. I remember going to Houston, Texas for two weeks over the holidays and coming back

New Year's Day and being 28 pounds heavy. Like, you don't even fit in your fucking pants. You don't fit in your fucking fat. And it's quick, too. How long did it took you, like, a year to lose that 115 pounds, and you gained 28 and three weeks, two weeks. Two weeks. But that's sodas. That's, you know, I don't even, I don't know when I drink soda anymore.

Like, it's just wild. Yeah. I fill this thing up with water every day. I take it to Jitsu with me. And until that thing ain't fucking done, I don't drink anything else. Yeah. You know, and I fucking hate. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie.

You know, water out of a tin can like a soldier. Yeah. I think that there was a point. And, you know, maybe this happened with you too, and it happened with me, where you just go, okay, I can wake up feeling like shit every day now, or I can, you know, drink water, stop drinking soda, you know, live a little bit healthier as an adult. When did you guys start seeing, uh, no way? It was a little difference. Like, when did it go from waking?

I'm feeling fine to, oh, shit, I feel like crap in the morning. I felt like crap in the morning until nine years ago. Yeah. I was about doing it. I mean, your diet is terrible. Listen, when you go home, we mean you go out, and we have 22 fucking drinks. And we smoke refa, and we eat bar food, and we dehydrate. And then we go out and get Barney's Beanery.

I'm just, yeah, right. No, all of that, yeah. And you go home. Even if you sleep, you don't sleep because your stomach is digesting that fucking food. So you don't really get into that deep rim. Yeah. You say you slept great. And you wake up and you feel tired.

You feel like you still were moving. You still were doing stuff. Yeah, man. You know, it's like eating sugar before you go to bed. Yeah. You know, like sometimes I go home and I get stoned. I leave here. I go over there and I fucking eat yogurt raisins.

My daughter's yogurt raises. Now granted, she has a little box. I eat like 30. those boxes. My wife wakes up like, what fucking happened last night? When I wake up the next morning, I wake up feeling like dick. You know, those days, it's, and I told Lee, this, that

your diet changes as you get old. Like, I have a friend that cannot eat pizza no more, and he is losing it. Italian kid I grew up with losing. Why, losing his mind? Because he can't have it. It's his thing. His whole thing is a slice of pizza

in the air. I totally, I don't leave. There's nothing like being from Jersey or New York. or Boston, those places, you get used to the slice. The slice holds you over. You know, the slice is six points. Right. That's nothing that way watches. A slice of pizza and a Diet Coke, you ain't killing nobody.

You know, at 2 in the afternoon. Especially like a cheese slice, too. Like a cheese slice, too. Like a cheese slice, that's it. Just a cheese slice of six points. Yeah. You know, and it holds you over. And I guess he's 50, and the cheese fucks his stomach up now.

Yeah. Like, and you stop eating different things. It's not that my willpower got any stronger. No, it's that, you know what? I know what it's like to get up in the morning and smoke a marlborough red and a can of Coke. You have no idea. If you wake up in the morning,

you smoke a marlborough light and a can of Coke, that's an instant dead sentence for the day. Yeah. Like your day is done. That burst of sugar, that early in the morning. And I mean, I would go from the bed to the refrigerator and open up a Coke. I remember one time I was in uh this was uh was this about five years ago uh I was in a

psychiatrist office not not for myself but for somebody no no I've been over myself I'm not I'm not dissing that but it wasn't for me this time and uh so this mom was just her kid was hyperactive and she was going okay we're going to find a way to calm you down and and it's nine o'clock in the morning and the kid is you know funyon snickers uh coke and that that's the breakfast for this kid and I'm going, there's no secret here to why this kid is like freaking out in the morning. Going up and down. Yeah, and why she's at school

and, uh, you know, mind is racing and all that stuff. Like, it's, that's right there. Like, I can save you a whole lot of money and just say, hey, you know, give the kid like a bagel and some tea or something, you know, instead of the, instead of that shit. Fucking cereal, a scrambled egg. Anything is better than a fucking snickers.

Everybody. Yeah, everything. Anything is better than goddamn. And I'll tell you, I never went that low. Yeah. Like, I never got that love to a candy bar. I always had to eat food. Yeah, but you see it all the time. You see it everywhere.

I like a candy bar at night. Yeah. You know, you get back from a comedy show, you're at the hotel, you're hungry. There's a fucking almond joy for four bucks in the hotel room. Give me the fucking almond joy for four bucks. I'll shoplift one and we'll fucking eat it out somewhere along the goddamn line, you know. But no, you just don't. It's tough now.

Like, when I was working full time, And I see, like, if you go to a 7-Eleven at like five or six in the morning, they're packed with, like, in people working in construction. And they're getting donuts and copies. And when I would work in Santa Monica, like, and I lived up here, I would have it timed out. So I would wake up and shower and get in the car. I didn't want to make breakfast. It took an hour and a half to get there anyways. And they have, they have, like, granola bars or something in the office.

I'll eat that. And free soda. So that's what I did for years. And listen, don't get me wrong, guys. My mother had a bar. So when the soda order would come for the bar, half of it would go to the house. She just built a bar. You know what I'm saying?

My refrigerator, and this is no lie growing up, my refrigerator, top shelf was Coke, second shelf was seven up, and I mean, it's stacked. That's the way I grew up, too. The third shelf was Matheba, Cuban herb soda, and then the fourth shelf was Eaton Bell or Matuettewe. Matta Duo put a pound on you every time you drink that shit All right

Never mind if you put the fucking Condense milk I was gonna say what the Cubans do Matibon and all that shit You know there was four things in my house My stepdad used to go crazy He used to go I come home at five minutes

Half a cans Of Coke everywhere I would drink fucking coke All day I didn't know what water was I fucking hated water Yeah Hated it

And I drank Cokes till 2009. Yeah, my first kidney stone got me away from that. I was drinking- 2009. I was drinking Diet 7-Up because I'm an idiot, and I'm looking at it going, it's clear. It's got to be at least a little bit better, right?

Tastes like fruit a little bit. And then I'm just drinking, I'm pounding those things, and I got a kidney stone, and I was like, okay, that's the end of my career with soda. That's my worst nightmare. I literally, I bought a thing on, Amazon for like kidney health because I drank so much soda I've cut way down I still drink a little bit I need to cut to zero but like that's my worst nightmare like what happened to Matt Mitrioneka a week of so ago all right I can't what happened to him he had

a kidney stone that's why he couldn't fight Fador and what do you get those from from it's uh it's from a lot of things but soda I think red meat like isn't there's something it's like just calcified things in your kidney and the only way to get it out is you like surgery or just has to like force it swiss through your penis hole and it just apparently kills. I went to the forced away off the penis hole. Yeah, that

it was not, it was not really? No good. Yeah. Through your pee hole? Yeah. And how long is the pain for? Man, I mean, I can tell you it seemed like two weeks but it's probably like four days. Oh. You know, it's like

I mean it hurt. It hurt a while. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to start drinking something. I drink the fucking whatever juice from my stomach. I really take care of my stomach. I bought that stuff for gut rot, and I drank the water with it.

The toxic sludge? Yeah. There's that radio commercials where they're like, you may not be fat, you might be bloated. Like that's better news, yeah. I'm thinking about going to that place and sticking a tube up my ass

and washing it out with tea, whatever they were, colonics, whatever. Oh, I thought you're just saying like, no, no, I'm really thinking about this. Some dude at the gym is doing that You know, I joined Jiu-Jitsu three years ago when I discovered that I had this really weird anxiety on my back. Just mind-boggling.

That's why I was talking about stress and anxiety. I'm not a big anxiety guy until about, I think once I got off the blow, it was when the anxiety started appearing. I didn't know what it really was. But when I went to J-Jitsu, it was so bad. And I just, you know, tried to fight through it, but I'm not really grown. So last week, I finally went to a... Got hypnotized. Oh, how'd that go?

I went to give it a shot. It was what it was. I paid for five sessions. I'm going to go in there with an open mind. You know, that's the only way you go into things like that. And I'm going to go for fucking broke and see what happens. I went to Jitsu today. I didn't have any panic attacks.

But you made a point. See, a kid at Jitza said to me, he goes, get some asthma stuff and spray your lungs. I tell you something. Every time I sprayed my lungs, the asthma shit, I would go to Jitzu and die. Yeah. And go, what the fuck? This is, I'm dying. Does it make your head crazy?

Because that's what it was doing to me. Like I had, because just to, so everybody has a little background, I had some anxiety problems when you and I knew each other and far before that took a lot of medication for it. But it ended up being a misdiagnosis. And I had been taking this medication for years and years of this effectser for panic attacks. And then it wasn't panic attacks. It was just a bad reaction from a chemical that was in my asthma inhalers. So, you know, we were talking about changing our diet.

So when I cut milk out of my diet, because I went vegan for a woman, how you do. So when you go vegan, you take milk out? Yeah, milk is gone. What else is gone? Milk, meat, honey, fish. Yeah, anything with a face, anything from a face kind of thing, yeah. What were you eating all fucking day? Vegetables, man.

And plus, I'm in rural Indiana at this point. So I got to go to the farmer's market to get vexed. vegetables and a lot of potatoes um now when you're vegan what do you use for protein uh spinach um i eat a lot of quinoa i eat a lot of tofu oh boy um and then i also do a uh a whole shake thing that's like 35 grams of protein every day it's a water you make it with water no i make it with like juve mango usually mango puree or uh i make a green one so so it's more of a health thing for me, you know. And it's taking you up the anxiety medication.

Absolutely. I took that shit from the time I was like probably 20 until what, like, I don't know, man, 35. And, you know, it was just, you know, after a while, it just made my whole head numb. Because the answer to it, like it was like, I'm still having these problems. And the answer was always take more effectser and take more effects. Until I finally just got to a point where I'm like, you know, I'm not laughing. anymore, you know, and I'm not crying at things that are really sad. You know, my grandpa was dying and I didn't feel anything, you know, at the time. And so that's when I just kind of cut it out

all together. But then going back to the cutting out the milk, the milk was giving me asthma problems. The asthma inhaler was giving me these, you know, psychotic, you know, sort of panic attacks. And then so when I cut out milk, I cut out the asthma. So now you have nothing. Nothing. I have not taken a hit off of my, I take that back. I've taken one hit off of an asthma inhaler since 2009. And, you know, no, not one panic attack. So.

So dairy was making you have asthma or you have like a little bit of asthma and dairy makes it worse? I don't really know. It's just dairy, I think, was given me, it builds up the mucus in your lungs. You know. and I'm a farm boy and so milk was a cornerstone of my diet.

You know, I drank milk with everything. I drank milk, you know, two glasses for dinner, you know, a glass for breakfast and,

you know, throughout the day. So, what saves me is I don't like milk. Yeah. Like, I don't like the smell of milk. I'll have a milkshake though,

like a motherfucker. Yeah. I put a piece of ice cream in there and some fucking stevia. And that's a great shake for Uncle Joey. I'm good. I like it thin. And I'll make it with 2%

milk, you know, just to hold me over or something like that, but I've never been a big milk guy. Let me ask you. In all my years. Now, you're from Ohio. Indiana, but yeah, like right in that corner where Indiana, Ohio and Kentucky meet. Where'd you go to college?

Manchester College, which is now Manchester University. And you had a degree in radio there? Yeah, broadcast. Well, communication studies. And when we met, you were at National Ampoon. Right. On sunset next to that fucking bar. I can't believe you don't know.

The fuck was it the Irish bar? Nah, the one, it's like a structure now, like an engineering, it's empty. It's completely empty now. Nobody's even in there. I don't remember that bar. That, you know, when we started talking a few months ago, I started thinking about you all that. That was the beginning of my podcasting career without knowing.

You were letting me do whatever the fuck I wanted to do. Right. We were even doing the martial arts minute and we reviewed Chinese movies. Joey Karate. Joey Karate, we do a, uh, uh, uh, What's that, Sunny Chiba? Sunny Chiba, yeah, dude, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. This was my education in radio because, yeah, you learn to do radio on the road with goofy people and they ham it up and who the fuck knows. But this was like Kevin Couch teaching me all this shit. Like, this is what you do. Like, it was just you and me. And we would do it every week. I know Trippley would go in there. Sam Trippley was there.

Burt Chrysia would go in there. Trump Seguer would go in there. Josh Wolfe. Josh Wolf would go in there. I mean, this is... Joe Bartnick was the sports guy. Joe Barton was an excellent. I think Joe was actually working in radio

in Los Angeles right now. Yeah. So this is 10 years ago. Yeah, 10 years ago. 2007. Yeah, that's right. Jesus Christ. It was about 2005 to...

2004, 2008, I think, was... We were fucking around. Where is this broadcast? On XM. Okay. Yeah, we were on XM. And then we, I think we had some terrestrial affiliates, too. but you know what like every there was so much over there that was a lie like I don't know what was true you know like you tell the story and you always have to put an asterisk by every story it's like they said we had 30 affiliates but you know I never saw evidence of that I never went to Miami to listen to it you know so I don't know if it actually was there

they moved us from one office to a smaller office yeah remember we're on that floor with Jamie Fox that's like it was just our office and then Jamie Fox's production company that was the first studio and then Um, that was over on the other, the west side of sunset over by the hamburger hamlet. And then we moved into the actual national lampoon building, um, which was across, you know, more across from like the Laugh factory. Um, yeah. No, no, no, no, I was down more by that Mexican restaurant on the corner. Remember we used to sit in the window, Pinchet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, what was right across from, uh, Chateau Marmot. Chateau Marmo. Yeah, we used to sit and when Pinchet first opened. Yeah. We would sit in the window and go, I. When I leave, yeah, when I go to pin chain, drop $40 on Mexican food. It was good Mexican food, too, man. That was awesome food, yeah.

Last time I went with Lee, I didn't go for like five years. And I walked in there with Lee, not knowing anything. I go, Lee, just get three tacos. I got three tacos. It's like 1130 at night, you know? Yeah. And the guy looked at me and goes, what, you're not going to get those potato things? Remember they used to make those potato?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those things put 22 fucking pounds on you. Like, one of the things you like, the floutters. No, flautters. Okay. Potato flautters. Yeah. That was that place there across from Chateau Monmouth.

I think that was a one of those naked sushi places before it was pinches. No. Or is that place still there? No, no, no, no. Okay. The naked sushi place was, the naked sushi place has been. A sushi ate out off of naked. Of naked women.

Yeah. The fucking, that restaurant has had the kiss of death in it since I got here. Since 1997 when I signed with media artist agency, that's what the agent took me to lunch. lunch breakfast and he closed a week after that then it became a lunch spot then it became a naked sushi spot where a lady lays on the table they put sushi on and you fucking eat the sushi off of those every table gonna make a lady I don't know how it was yeah I was embarrassed to go in there yeah well it was people like me don't go in there because you I can never in a million years afford that because something tells me that's a

200 dollars a table yeah yeah I mean ridiculous and naked lady's not just gonna come sit there all fucking night with you. No, no. But yeah, it was a it was a lady per table. Jesus. Have you seen that famous per that? I don't know if it's famous. That picture of Eddie Murphy eating like a steak and french fries off of a naked woman in like New York on like the roof of his building.

That's crazy. I can't imagine eating off of a naked lady. That's a fucking. But I didn't know, you know, or, you know. I guess if I was there and somebody was feeding and they said eat the fucking shrimp cocktail off my pussy.

I guess I'm eating the shrimp cocktail. Yeah. Who needs to tartar sauce. Yeah. I think they cover them with kind of, I think there was like a kelp. Right. She had something to cover or something. When you got there, you're like, this is a beat.

Yeah. She ain't fucking naked. She got lettuce on her. Yeah. Just a- The fuck. Just a bikini. I wanted to see a naked woman from my 200.

And I get some chick covered with lettuce and shit. Plus the sushi eat it. I mean, I don't care if it's off a woman or not. It has to be good for $200. Yeah. How good can you? You know, those places are just a place you walk in there and go. I went to that place two nights ago.

Yeah, right. People were like, I was the sushi. Would you go back? You know what I'm saying? Right. I go to sushi's and mine, take my fucking chances and shit. What was your first radio job after Manchester? You stayed in Indiana?

What the fuck made you come out here? My first job was at a radio station called 97X, W-O-X, and Cincinnati. You ever seen the movie, Rain Man? Yeah. Where he's like 97X. bam, the future of rock and roll. That was my first station. I did mornings there.

And I was a music director for a little bit. And that was the first place I ever got fired. So, yeah, it was, but that was the best radio station. That was the one I grew up listening to. And I was a senior in college when I got hired there initially for, for, like, weekend work. So I took my last year at Miami of Ohio. So, but.

And I'd you end up a fucking. Los Angeles? No, that national lampoon. How did I end up at national lampoon? I was working at K-Earth in Los Angeles. You've always been a K-Earth. I've always been. Always.

How many years altogether? I have been a part of the K-Earth Morning Show, Kareth 101 in Los Angeles. Give it a plug there, since 2003 in some capacity. Like I came in with the Hollywood Hamilton show. Then I worked with the Gary Bryan show for a little bit. And then I went to Lampoon and I became like a part-time employee of K-Earth. Right, because you couldn't work a couple days a week. No, you know, was it.

You did something. You did something that. There was one day a week you wouldn't be there. Right. Something crazy. Right. Yeah, I remember that. And then with Gary Brian, you know, we all work for a production company called Radio Genius.

So we all do that together, which is stuff that, you know, the work that goes towards the show, too. So, yeah, so since 2003, you know, give or take a little bit there. I worked at Sea C Crest there for four months. There was like a four-month window there where I was over at that show. But yeah, no, K Earth is, you know, I've been there for a long time. Can you believe that these comics you were working with 10 years ago are doing what they're doing today? I'm so proud of some of these guys, man.

Tripoli, Sigura, Bert Kreischer. Segarra has blown up. Yeah, Sigur has blown. I was his first radio interview when Bert Kreiser made fun of him because his voice was cracking. And I always tell Tom, and I'm sure he gets annoyed as hell with this, but, you know, we were born in the same. hospital. So that's in Mercy Hospital, Hamilton, Ohio. But yeah, so I've always sort of like, you know, Bert's been, or not Bert, Tom has been somebody that, you know, I'm always, you know, I've

always been cheering for. And Christine. And Christine, absolutely. I've actually seen Christine a couple times when she went out to the Midwest. You know, I saw her show. I saw Ari Sheffir when he came out. Matt Iceman, dude. Fucking look at that guy. Just one celebrity apprentice. And uh host an american ninja warrior and uh you know and and you know i'm super happy for that dude because he used to come on my show just you know you shoot him a facebook message and he'd be there in an hour you know and and now he's um you know that celebrity apprentice thing he's like oh hell yeah man good for him but um who about josh wolf got a tv show and um that's fucking crazy who else is on the on the uh matt walker you know matt walker no um he uh he just is up for a radio

show too he used to come in with um Mike Moratory and they did a they did a little segment where the fuck is Mike moratory um I saw him at the ice house last year I think um he's around he's around two years three years oh really disappeared I'd see him at the ice house

and then never again I think he's around I see him doing shows I see his notices and stuff but sorry he was teaching you karate no he was teaching gino karate yeah yeah yeah no I didn't You know what's fucking crazy that I just came back to me.

Okay. So I was promoting something around the holidays. I can't remember what the fuck it was. And I went to see you at the place by Hamburger Hamlet. Okay, right. And you said to me, if you ever want to do anything, call me. And I thought about it over the holidays and I called you, but then you moved.

Oh, right. You guys went over to the other side. There you go. Yeah, okay. So I met you when you were still a hamburger, a hamlet in that thing in there and then that was the first time. I only went to that studio one time.

Yeah. That was a cool studio. I was that me, man. I'm sorry, it's like totally unprofessional. Gordon Lee says, great job. I'm watching. Thanks, Jordan. Thanks, Jordan. I appreciate it. Cucksucker. Thanks, Jordan. Yeah, no, the that hamburger hamlet place,

that studio was cool. Like, we had a, you know, a lot more room, you know, so we could bring more comics in. But the, you know, when we moved over to that lot net other studio, that was, you know, it was a tiny. That was kind of a tight fit. Yeah, it was a tight fit. That was a super tight fit. It was you guys

on the first floor, I think. And then Jay Schecter had an office upstairs with the other dude. That was like the national, like the National Lampoon Radio guy, the radio guys were down there. We had two rooms and then upstairs was like the Lampoon, Lampoon

guys that did the movie stuff. Yeah. I'm getting old. Yeah. And the whole time I've been thinking about him, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I brought Jody Furty again one morning. Oh, right. Yeah.

I helped out with that. They did a Queens of Tarts tour. And I helped get some, like, radio interviews for them for that with Lang Parker. Blame Parker. Yeah. You still see Lang at all? I talked to her a lot. She's a good lady.

Yeah, she's awesome, man. She's one of my favorite people, for sure. You know, I've known Jody Ferdig since 1997. And Jody Ferdick is It's a little on the top side She's grown You know as a comedian She was she just

Stalled that one part Because of the alcohol You know and Over the years She's tried to make comebacks and whatnot And like I said I used to work with Jody a lot But it got to the point where it was

It got crazy you know Yeah And I wasn't mad at her. She's just a crazy person. She used to drink and jump up and down and dance. So I get this call one day from Jody. And she's telling me she's doing a tour with Leng and some other sweet girl. And they're doing Vegas and something else.

And, you know, I was like, good luck, man. And I mean, they weren't on the road a fucking week. Yeah. And people are calling me going, I bumped into your girl in Vegas fucking hammed. And just. And I know. You know, I'm not in the center of my business, you know, but I would get calls from time to time from Vegas. Right.

And finally, the tour ends, and I'm not thinking about it. You know, I got other things on my mind. I'm not thinking about three girls on a tour. But when I'm at the improv, when I walk out, there's Lang Parker with his face like somebody hit her in the head with a stick. And she's like, you know, I know she's your friend, but I got to get rid of it. I go, listen, get rid of her. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Right.

You know, but Lang was like, I felt really bad for her because... Yeah. Well, that's how she is. She's a huge-hearted person, man. She's a country chick, too. Yeah, yeah. From that world. Like, I understood, Jody, because I'm from that world.

I'm a piece of shit. Right. Getting high and shit. But when Lange came up to me, she's like, Joey, she got to a fight with a hooker in the lounge. You know, I could see Jody fighting with a hooker in the fucking lounge, okay? You know, so it was like, and I thought Lang thought that she was, I don't know, Lang thought that I would be mad, not at all.

Yeah, yeah. When it comes to comedy or somebody's job, I'm a firm believe. Anybody who fucks at your job, you got to get rid of. Right, right. Anybody fuck at your job, you got to get rid of them. Like, I just don't like it. I don't fuck with nobody's job. That's how you feed your goddamn family, you know.

But she used to go on the road with Ralphie and have drama. You know, Ralphie took her on the rubber one time, and they went to Columbus, not Columbus, the other big one, a guy named Not Stroob, but there was a comedy club owner who left recently, and he's running the ships now. He took a big, big, big job with ships. But he was big in the funny bone chain.

So Ralphie's stuck, so he goes, who should I take? You know, I go, we'll call Jody. So they get there. The first thing, Ralphie looks at Jolie and says, don't say nothing to that guy about him being short. Jody goes to the bar, does it 30 minutes, gets off, does three shots a Yeager, six beers, and calls him a fucking midget. I mean, you know, that's the type of person, Jody is. And she thought she was being funny, and I got it.

You know, I'd be laughing too, but when you're in that Ralphie Mae category, you can't take chances like that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There's a time to fuck around, time not to fuck around. But until this day, I always think about Lang and just shake my head because nobody's, can handle her. Yeah. Like nobody can be around more than two nights. After two nights, they're like, no

more. Like, seriously. And Lang is so nice. Yes. You know, she's such a nice person. There's no way that she can be, you know, she's not going to be a bitch unless she, you know, I've never, I mean, I can't even say if she's going to be. I've never seen her be a bitch. What's your problem over there, fucko? I have no problem. It's, uh, it's,

I can't imagine. It just makes me, it makes me like, uncomfortable thinking about, like, just making trouble for someone just for no, like that. For no reason. Like just especially after I told you like listen man be cool yeah Jesus yeah when I pull you yeah be cool like I expect that's not professionals Yeah that's how we do it listen I expect everybody to be cool right you know I like on fire you come over and you go I'm gonna go out when you do comedy I know you gonna be cool yeah if I come out and and you're punching somebody because they grabbed your dick

I'm not gonna be mad at you Yeah, but if I heard that you threw a drink at somebody and called him a con to it yeah gotta be mad yeah You're fucking my shit up yeah I'm saying you fucking my shit up a lot of people don't understand that he's like I I'm doing you a favor chill the fuck out a lot of people understand that that's the weird thing when it comes to comedy people think like in the green room there's a party there's no fucking party i'm watching the spian i'm sitting back getting drinking water watching the spian can't wait for the fucking bochows to be over there's no fucking party i couldn't imagine still getting high like i was on the road oh like i can't imagine no i can't imagine if i was still doing those drugs

But you came to that point where it's like, okay, I'm going to be this guy now or I've got to be this guy, right? Like, that's how I was. I was like, okay, I can be the party fun guy for the rest of my life or I can get my shit together and like... First of all, I never wanted to be the party fun guy. I didn't give a fuck about parties. But you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. As long as I had my grandma blow.

Yeah. That's all I gave a fucking bad. If I saw a victim like the world. I count that as a party. You know, it's funny how a lot of guys, like I became, uh, I became, uh, antisocial. Yeah. You know, I was really antisocial.

I would just get a grandma cock and gone. If by chance I got horned up, and if she knew the rules. Because everybody got to know the rules before you come over here. The rules are. I got a G-bow and a half. You come over here, somebody's going to get naked, the same free, the same gratis.

I just imagine, like, a little sign before you get onto, like, a roller coaster. Like, you have to be 48 inches tall. You have to. I was so fucking nuts, so I can't even... Like, you don't really hear about comedians being crazy no more. You don't. You don't. No, it's changed.

You don't. You don't hear it about radio people either. You know, like, when you get a bunch of radio people into these groups, you know, because there's a... You know, I've been around long enough to where I know some of the older guys have been around for a while. And they tell these stories and you're just like, man, that doesn't happen at all. You know, when I started in the, like in the 90s, it kind of ended, I would say around like 98, 99. You know, and then just you don't have those wild, crazy, huge personalities anymore, you know. I'll tell you, I think when Mitch Headberg died.

Yeah. It shocked people so much, you know. And I love Mitch. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. I'm just saying what everybody knows, you know. There was a couple of comics out there, including myself at that time that we were out there doing blow and shit. You don't hear about it no more. You know, and you'd hear something once a month about,

This guy or that guy or me. You know, for anxiety, I have to take a point five. Like my doctor, Waxler, gives me like a .5. I think it's a Zadix. Like tomorrow morning and fall when I get up, just the fact that I got to leave my family and shit, I get anxiety. I'm one of those assholes. So in the ride, I'll pop a .5.

Don't put you to sleep. It don't make you crash your car. Yeah. I'm saying, don't do nothing for you. But a friend of mine the other day said I got a couple of Vs for you and he laid a couple V's on me and I took him home and I haven't been able to pick one up Yeah, because the last time I ate Milligan I value late 30 of them in fucking three days, you know Yeah

Last time I had a valium I ate 30 fucking Valiums 10 milligram Valiums in three fucking days I was falling asleep on the stage on the floor. You got that Josh Wolfe reminds me about I love whatever he tells me these stories, like my fucking heart stops. Yeah. Like I still remember they were in a brown bag. Like they didn't give them to me a pill container.

And I just shoved my hand in the bag. And I remember shoving my hand in that bag and jiggling the bag around and going, oh shit, there's no more values. Like I ate 30, 10 milligram fucking volumes. I don't know. I know you said that you don't really hear

of people going crazy anymore. But at least for me, the way I grew up, if I was still in Boston right now, the most I'd probably would have done would be weed. And just hearing, like, you, Ari and you doing acid going to Pink Floyd, and I'm trying to go to Pink Floyd, and then mushrooms and all that. Like, for me, like, for me, edibles are kind of crazy. Like, my nature, now they're not, now it's not a day if I don't have an edible, but it's crazy.

It's just crazy. Like, to me, that's crazy. To me, that's partying. Like, just the fact that people do pills out here not for, like, prescribed reasons. Like, I would have never thought to take, like, a value more like. Like, I was talking with Danny Brown about how the first time I got bronchitis out here, they gave me codeine, and someone asked to buy it if I didn't finish it. And I was like, why would you want to buy this?

Oh, dude. That doesn't happen where you're from? Maybe it did, and I'm just. Man, biggest nerd in the world. No, like when I move back to this small town where I'm from, man, this isn't like Indiana. Like heroin is a real problem. Real problem. And meth and federally is a huge problem.

In mass right now, it's crazy. They said heroin, too. And maybe that's a weird thing is I left my hometown at 18 and never went back. Right. And I was in college from, I was in Boston from 19 to 21, but I was working in kind really subdued. I didn't do anything crazier than drink. So it's, uh, I wonder if I went back now and live there now. It might be, maybe it's the same everywhere, but yeah, I was so naive as a kid. Well, this is, uh, you know, I'm kind of close to where Dayton is, you know, where they keep doing

all these stories on, you know, the heroin epidemic and it seems to center there in Dayton, Ohio. And, um, but yeah, I mean, there was like, uh, the town north of us, they had like 11 overdoses in a weekend, you know, I mean, the Los Angeles doesn't have that in a week. you know and it was just uh um but going back to your prescription drug things like anything with opioids man that is like a hot ticket you know i mean people there was a to give you another did you like fargo the series when i came out oh you never watched it because i love fargo because it was like um you know being in one of these little small towns that sort of off the radar these crazy things happened there like uh this dude like shot five people and killed them over pills and it was just uh

I mean, and it was, you know, barely a, you know, a two-day thing on the news. But, I mean, that really happened. That was scary as shit. And, you know, so when I moved back, I got this apartment, like, right there on Main Street of my hometown. And it's like 16 foot ceilings, you know, it was like an old building. I think it was built in like 1890 or something, you know, just huge windows. It was just a cool place to live, like a half gymnasium inside. and like more than

I don't want to say it happened once a month but it was around once every two months somebody would knock like some junkie chick would knock on that I don't know who lived there before I did but the police had come a couple times looking for somebody too but like junkie chicks would just bang on my window you know and then when I would come to the door they'd be like oh you know shit sorry and take off running

but you know that doesn't happen to me in Los Angeles you know what I mean But yeah, I can totally see somebody offering you that for coding. That's a hot ticket. Pills have been a problem for years, not as bad as the problem now. A couple of years ago with the oxycottons, oxycodone, whatever. That's huge. In Florida with the pain relief centers and all.

And I was telling my wife the other day, a comedian once gave me like a fucking eight of an oxycodone. And I go, let me go home and pop this thing. I mean, it was nothing. It was a little piece. And I just popped it. And within 30 minutes, I had to go lay down. My blood pressure dropped. I'm like, I don't know how the fuck people eat this shit.

No, man. Like, how the fuck people eat this shit? I don't, I'm sort of one of those people now that I'm paranoid against all pills. You know, you know how like people are getting. There's that fringe. I'm starting to join that fringe of like, if it's in pill form, man, I don't want to take it. You know, I'll just, I'll find another way. I'll take the pain or something.

Wait before I knew Joey. And it still to this day scares me. I will not take a pill that's not prescribed to me because my mom told me that that's how Bruce Lee died is that he took a pill that wasn't prescribed for him and he died. It was like the wrong whatever and that that freaked me out. So I don't take, I guess maybe I've taken like

some codeine and mushrooms and crazy stuff, but I don't prescriptions freak me out. I'm like, that's not good. I'm going to be like Bruce Lee, I'll die. You're not going to fucking die. Fuck, I'm going to be fine. When I was a kid, at least one common one thing in common with Bruce Lee though you know like I've got as it is now I

have nothing in common with that dude it's uh when I was about 17 there was a kid in North Mergin that his mother had cancer and the mother knew she was going to die so she would take the pain relief medication and sell it at top dollar because you know there were tuminoles there were quailudes but she used to have fucking like this pill that was a like a F-66. That's what it sounded. F-66. And people knew, like, it was like the F-66 Express.

And every pill was like $20 in 1982, like, $20. Yeah, dude. $25 was a fucking quarter gram, right? So you're like, fuck at it. But I remember taking an F-66 one time splitting it with a friend of mine. His name was Kishka.

And we used to call them, those that they wore, tumult. I used to just call them to me for short. Because at that point, that's all he ever ate. kid to me come on don't call me to me don't call him that so we split one and it was like Lee and me like the way Lee

is when I ate a thousand milligrams and Lee's like ugh I was fucked up and this kid was like talking on the phone and making collages and shit and I'm fucking lit the shit but I had eaten all those

and I figured if I didn't die from the F-66 and a couple of the fucking quailudes one that almost died guys I was about 17 and I went to a party on 64th Street field with the dude luci it was his birthday his birthday is when my birthday is and luci always had parties before concerts if there was a concert at the garden go by luci's at six o'clock they were already lit 20 gorillas lit so one night he was just having a party but i took coke with me when they had the spoons on top of the bottle you ever see that no

I used to have little bottles and a little chain with a spoon so you could take the lid off and put the spoon. And I would put the Coke in my top pocket. And I remember I took quailudes with me. And it was like 6 o'clock at night. And I popped two of these gorilla biscuits. And the problem was in those days that, like I said, a thousand times. Sometimes the chemist had a table that was crooked. So all the fucking quailude juice will go to the last two rows of quailut.

All the other quailudes are like duds. but the last two rolls, they could kill you. I must have popped two of those. Oh, my God. They woke me up at like three in the morning. I was out for like seven hours out, drooling, puking, pissing, shit. Yeah.

You know, foaming, the whole fucking deal. How did they justify making a Coke holder with a spoon attached with a chain? Like, that seems like, where would you even get that? That's like, well, yeah, it's like all that shit. that they used to remember the little glass roses they still sell those in gas stations over there yeah

how fucking crazy is I did not know that till about 10 years ago really yeah like somebody goes no let's just go buy one of those like what do you mean a row you're gonna buy rose I used and I looked at I go you motherfuckers yeah he goes you never knew that those roses are crack pipes I never fucking knew that

yeah like every gas station has them what do you think it was just like you know what ethnicity gives away these glass roses I must know their call That's how retarded I was. Yeah. I didn't fucking know. But I was never really scared of.

There was only one drug I was scared of, and that was heroin when I did it. I wasn't cocaine. There were some nights my heart wouldn't stop beating. Yeah. I thought it like a vein got loose in there some nights. It was fucking quick. You're laying in bed with your wife or girlfriend, and the whole bed is shaking from your heart. Your heart is fucking.

People next to you. you wake up and go, are you okay? Now, let me ask you this. What's the, not to sound naive or anything, but what's the appeal after that happens one time? Who the fuck knows? You know, who the fuck knows? What's the appeal of going to the store

after some guy comes on on TV with a fucking curtain on his fucking throat with a voice box and goes, I got this from smoking cigarettes. Why would you go down there? Yeah. You know, why would you go to McDonald's Except you watch a 600-pound man in fucking Houston, Texas walking around.

And there's McDonald. You know what I'm saying? Like, why do we do half the shit we do? We know cigarettes are bad for us. We know caffeine is bad for us. Now, the last year, or two or three, they're telling you how bad sugar is for you. So herbies on these fucking sugar diets. Before you know, we can't eat dick.

Rice is bad for your. Bread is bad for you. So does bad for you. Dude, a traitor, Joe's told me oatmeal was bad for me. Why? What was the reason? I don't know. I kind of walked away.

I don't stick it around for those conversations anymore. You know, like, how, I don't know how old you are, but you know how, like, those conversations, like somebody would come up to you and you'd be like, how do I get out of this? Now I just get out of it, and it's awesome. And I don't know why it took me so long. I'm still not getting out of it.

Yeah. I try to be polite. If I'm in a rush and shit, I got to make a move. Yeah. If I can be polite, I'm always trying to be polite. But how many conversations did you have where somebody's just like, And you're just like, uh-huh. And you're like, oh, my God.

And now it's just like, all right, I got to go. And it's like, I don't know why it was so hard for all those years to just go. All right, I'm out. I'm done with this one. A couple weeks ago, I had to tape something for Animal Planet. It was a long fucking day. You know, we started like, it was nine, and we had to go downtown and to the west side, then back to my house.

And we had to do this all by five by the time the baby got back. Then we took like a two-hour breathing. how to go to flappers. They wanted me to do 10 minutes on cats. I had like four minutes on cats. And I just wrote a couple dumb shit. All they needed was 10 seconds. I go down there and I'm sitting there and it's the gong show.

Oh, yeah. They're doing a gong show. NBC's bringing it back, ABC. I'm like, no, they're not. They had the judges and shit. And they had like 40 people in the audience, you know. And there were people down there. noticed the comic was there that does a character around town yeah i don't know about that shit he

comes over oh what are you doing here i got to do a 10-minute spot brother you know like you know there's just comics who want to know what the fuck you're doing they just can't take hello for uh what's up man you're good you good yeah good you see you see you talk to somebody they don't know that person they want to come over and mingle and be cute yeah you know so this guy is one of those guys he comes over not you know me bro i got no hatred for for somebody like that. What are you going to do? He comes over, hi, how are you good to see you, man?

And who are you? Oh, how interesting. Are you guys shooting a show? You know, all that shit. Meanwhile, he's like going in his pocket for a business card. He's got a resume in his back pocket, you know, the whole fucking deal. Nice guy. I've known this kid for like 15, 16 years since he was a kid doing comedy in Florida.

You may as well just name him now. He comes over. He comes over again. He's like, so what are you doing? And he's asking me all these questions. You know I'm fucking tired. All I want to do is do these fucking 10 minutes and go home. And now I got these people from the gong show asking me,

do you mind if we take your scent? Do you mind if we put your set? I'm like, listen, I don't want to be on the fucking gong show. Yeah. All right? I'm trying to be as nice as I fucking can, okay? Yeah. And they kept coming over.

Yeah, the gong show's going to be a great opportunity. I go, listen, I'm not gonging. So forget about the fucking gung show, okay? So already I'm starting to get irritated, like with the gong show people. now I got this comedian asking me creepy questions I got the fucking gong show people on the right side

and I got this comedian on the left side and he's asking me questions and I love him dearly but he doesn't look at me he's not looking at my face knowing that you know what let me take a hike like there's some people

and if I look at you I know it means let me take a fucking hike not him he's talking talking talking finally I go dog you gotta go show you gotta go show call of the tree you gotta go for a walk

Okay. And he kind of leaves like he leaves. I go on stage, I get out stage. These people from New Wave are, are, these people from New Wave are. We going to address that? No, no. Nothing.

These people from New Wave are talking to me, right? These people from New Wave are talking to me. And the next thing you know, guess who comes up to me? the fucking comedian. Guess what he says to me. Hey man, I got some notes on your set there. He goes, and he looks at me, and finally he goes, do you want him?

And by that point, he looked at me and he goes, he looks at me and he goes, I can tell about it looking on your face, you really don't want him to. Not really. Take a fucking hike. Oh, my God. And that night I went home, and I felt bad, you know, because I know him a long time,

but it's like, when you see a comedian and he's with people, that you don't know, just say hello and keep fucking walking. I would never get involved in some. That's amateur. That's business 101. You know, at the comedy store, there were comics that would go up there at 830 and look at the list to see who had a showcase. Like who had a star next to their name?

And then they would tag on to you when you walk and who you showcasing for? APA, really? Yeah. Where are they? Right there. Oh, hey, how are I? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

How fucking creepy are you? Like, there's people who live for that shit. I'm not saying that this comedian was creepy like that, but he was creepy like that, that, that guy. Now, if I hadn't worked all day, I would have got up and broke it down from. Yeah. I just was in the mood. I'm just living all sign language here. Look at my body and look at my face.

Do I look like I want to have a fucking conversation? I look like I want to smoke a joint. I just don't want to get the fuck out of here. Is that different with radio, though? Can you say, oh, the station books, the gas or the state? Or do you still get hit up constantly? I mean, and I'm not trying to have you bad talk, anyone, but just like how does it work for radio like with that booking and having people hit you up and

um i'm not i'm not sure that i understand the question like just like like like it's kind of interesting radio and podcasting or similar but you you work for the station right so do you get hit up to be a guest on your show and can you say oh no all the station books the guess i don't i can't do it i'm like do you know we we uh brandon castillo and i booked the guests um we usually you know there's services too for for radio people you know, we're CBS radio. Well, not, I guess we're, are we still CBS radio? We just sold, so I'm not sure what we are.

But we, you know, we do services, and then there's a couple publicists, you know, when we get hit up, it's usually through, like, a third party. I don't even know if it's third party is the right way to say it. But it's somebody that's, you know how like what they used to say that, you know, there used to be those movies where somebody would say, hey, man, listen to my, they go to a record label, they listen to my disc, man. like we don't take unsolicited material and you never really knew what that was.

It's kind of the same thing with some of the bigger radio shows, I think. But there's different ways to get guests to, like we go after people as well as opposed to, you know, hitting us up. But yeah, if somebody hits us up, we, you know, we say no more than we say, yeah.

Right, I would imagine. Obviously, yeah. But does that answer that? I'm sorry. I'm not sure. Oh, no, I'm just, I'm stoned. I probably wasn't making sense. But another question I had was Joey and I talk a lot about how you promote podcasts and

it's how you get it out there. How does that work with radio? Because it's more of like a local market. How do you grow a radio show? Well, that's a good question. Billboard's. Yeah, we don't, CBS hasn't really done any billboards in a while. But they do campaigns, you know, every once in a while

where they kind of flood the things. You know, because radio, the way we get radio ratings has changed, you know, over the last, you know, several years. because remember you used to have to fill out a diary, and now it's like a little, you know, I think it's a little like pager thing that you put on your belt loop, and as long as you're moving, it reads what you're listening to. So theoretically, even if you're listening to K-Earth in the car or K-L-O-S in the car,

or if you go into Subway, you know, like a Subway sandwich shop, they've got their own radio station there too, so, you know, it will register there, you know, theoretically. But, you know, some, they've had problems this year, And I don't really understand the problems, but the ratings have been like a little weird starting in January or something. So even that's a little, you know, that's been a little sketchy as of late, you know. But back to your question, how do you market or how do you grow a radio show? It really just takes time, you know, at this point.

You know, a couple of things that I've noticed. I noticed that like, you know, Big Boy is on Channel 5 sometimes. There's a lot of cross-promotion there. like with K Earth, with being a CBS and K Rock being CBS, there's always cross promotion with those CBS shows. When you're in a cluster, like, I'm sorry, I'd keep you get away

from the mic, I screwing up. When you're in a cluster, you know, like KNX is our news station, so, you know, like when Prince passed away, we cross promote with K&X and things like that, but... How much has it changed in the last 10 years with social

media? Well, social media, radio with social media has changed because there's a huge emphasis on social media. Like we just hired a social media person just for the morning show. But then there's stations like outside of Indianapolis, there's a station called G1013. And they have like their home social media network. And it's actually really cool, like their morning show. And their listeners directly have a lot of interaction, you know, through Twitter,

but also through their own platforms. so I've thought that that was pretty cool. I love it when we get listeners, because we have listeners call in from Arkansas, you know, a lot of times. We have listeners, you know, calling from Mississippi. I like it when they listen on the Internet or listen on their phones and stuff like that.

So that's changed quite a bit. I don't know the percentage of our listeners that are international, but like I know that when I was doing sports, when I was gone, that time, I was doing play-by-play, and there would be people in Jordan, you know, listening to some of the play-by-play. So that was always, you know, that was always huge. But social media, I think, is probably the biggest tool to promote radio at this point, much like podcasts. Obviously, Howard Stern promoted his show in the beginning a lot different than a show would

begin promoting until there was no social media. Right. So you had a use word of mouth consistently. I remember street teams. Street teams, you know. I think an interesting thing, too, is it like, you know, when I came on with the Hollywood Hamilton show, there was a longer expectation. Like, there was, you know, it's going to take this amount of time.

And that amount of time ranged from about a year to two years. And with social media and stuff, and it's just being a faster thing, and I don't think that a morning show would get, you know, but more than a couple months. You know, if it was a new one coming on in a big market, you know, I don't think it would get like a two-year run anymore. It's funny. When we started this podcast, we were a morning radio.

We would fucking, you know, start at 6 a.m. You know, I don't even know why we did it that way. I thought about it for one. I go, Lee, let's just wake up early and get over it. Yeah. You know, but it was fucking rough because we would get blasted. We'd get blasted. The rest of the day is gone.

The rest of the day is fucking gone. I was getting anxiety walking down the steps in this house. I'm like, how am I so high? and it was hard to get guests. Yeah. Real hard to get guests that early in the morning. You know. And then we switched it to the nighttime because that nobody breaks appointments.

You can't, well, how busy can you get at 8 o'clock? Right. It's a big money gig, but it's Monday and Wednesday. So we decided on those little things. And we release early in the week. When we were releasing lady in the week, our numbers went behind. you know there's so much of this was such a grassroots type effort yeah and lee and i saw the growth together i mean it's kind of scary you know it's can i can i tell a story real quick about about uh one time

i don't know if you remember this story or not but i took a demo that you and i uh you brought joe rogan in one day right do you remember this yes you brought him in and that show was was phenomenal it was hilarious and it was very male oriented and I was like this would sound great on KLSX which was a sister station we had over there at CBS Radio 2 and I made this demo and

it was pristine and I had a PowerPoint presentation that I was taking I was like Joey Diaz and Joe Rogan these guys on the radio this is going to be big you know this is going to be you know it's going to be people are going to be into this so I took it into the office of a man named Jack

Silver who's now at NBC Sports he grabs my CD, throws it in the trash, and he goes, I need more talk radio listeners, not more talk radio talkers. And now you're here with your millions of listens, and Joe Rogan is on his podcast. I tell that story all the time because it's just, you know, kind of indicative, you know, of how timing, you know, works out sometimes. Get Jack Silver on the phone right now. I don't understand. What do you say? I need what?

He goes, I need more talk radio listeners, not more. talk radio talkers and he threw he threw the CD in the trash and uh presumably didn't dig it out and listen to it later but i was so proud of that demo man and i still to that to this day i uh i think that was a great demo and that was some of the best best radio i ever heard was when you guys came in and just just did your thing and i sat back and it was you know i would i would listen to that and i'm critical of radio you know i don't listen to a lot of podcasts i don't listen to a lot of radio, but I would listen to that. I would sit tight for that.

You know, when I do his podcast, it's like a fucking event. Yeah. I bet. I've had my agent call me and say, they talked about you on the Rogan podcast and the company meeting this morning, like the numbers, you know. Yeah. It's, I don't know what it is. I don't know

what it is. First of all, he knows how to press my buttons. He knows. By him doing little things, I'm going to get fucking agitated, and he knows me that well, I don't get agitated right away. It's a slow simmer. And him and Redband know how to push that slow simmer.

When they look at their phones or they have talks about phone networks and shit, that shit just drives me fucking insane. I've never hung out with guys that talk about phones or shoes or something. I never forget. One time I made a mistake, I went against my whole philosophy of life, and I got in the car with Rogan and Redband and drove to Irvine to do a weekend. on Friday night in traffic and they got into a conversation

about cocaine and I wanted to shoot them both but they were both trying to tell me to stop snorting coat but they were both talking like they knew about drugs Red Band was talking about how he was a drug dealer in Columbus and creepy people

coming to his door let me tell you something if Red Band was ever a drug dealer in Columbus I'd rob him that's just me I would have smacked him in Robben Let me give some shout out how do you feel on the cough medicine?

You feel it tonight? Not as much as the other night. Not as much. Are you excited about Verizon's new unlimited package? How about I stab you in the fucking neck? C-Mac 87. My brother Dante Gazzini Locomotive, Wart Brown, Crystal Johnson, Frank White,

Irv Hughes and Doc or Jack Hamilton, Doc Hamilton, whatever. You know, I love you, Cuck Sucker. Don't forget, House of Comedy. Tomorrow night, bitches. I think Friday and Saturday might be thin. You better get those tickets tomorrow night. I'm telling you.

Anyway, who gives us fun? No, him and I, I don't know what. You know, it's funny. I don't talk to him much, like, what people would think. I talked to him when we used to work together. I'd sit next to him on a plan and we'd talk. And I could see that there was something there. Like, even on those podcasts, he knows that I can be quiet for 45 minutes.

Yeah. Like, I'll take the beat for 45 minutes. I'm one of those guys. I play possum like a motherfucker. I'll let you talk all fucking afternoon. But guess what? I'm going to boil eventually. And I'm going to keep taking this fucking earbeaten.

And once I get one of those earbeaten, I just go off. I fucking hate your beatings. I've hated your beatings as I was a young man. Jesus fucking Christ. Lisa, yes. Yes, sir. What are you doing over that? Who knows?

No, I'm feeling good. Fidgeting over there and shit like that. I always fidgeting. But no, I can't believe we didn't know that we did. that CD. The 3 of Clubs. I don't think we, I don't think he put it together.

I told him, did I tell you now this afternoon? You told me, you told me that he was coming on, and he told me about the National Lampoon stuff, and I was over YouTube, I couldn't even find one. But no, you didn't tell me about

the three of clubs until tonight. Me, him. What was the kid that helped us do with the opening act? Great kid. I still see him around. He's around. Was Jerry doing that? No.

He was running it. No. I forget the kid's name that was running and he's still around. I still see him. Your boy mixed it. We got a little crowd in there. We giggled. Whatever.

Thank you for pushing me to do it. Yeah, yeah, that's right. You didn't want to do it. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah,

yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I fucking tell people. I didn't want to do it. And then when you heard it,

you didn't like it. No. Yeah, yeah. I hate fucking my voice, man. You know, I could be fucking Whitney Houston-type singing,

and I would hate my voice. I'm one of those guys. I just don't want to see me. I don't want to hear me. Just play the fucking thing. You know, you know how many times people contact me and said, hey, okay, this video. I'm like, whatever. I'm like, God damn it.

Why didn't I fucking watch this shit? I look, why did I have that red hat on or something stupid, you know? You gave me great advice one time. I don't even know you were trying to give advice, but you said you had taken a blank CD into an agent. And then you asked him later, how was he? He's like, oh, man, it was great. It was great.

and there was nothing on it. You said, fuck you, you're not my agent. I did that to people. I was doing that to people constantly. Constantly. Like, there was, I sent one comedy tape out, and that was to Mark Babette. That was blank.

And he hired me. Yeah. Told me was the best comedy I see in a feature out. I'm fucking howling at the house. And then there were agents in town that would really agitate the fuck out of me. That they would call me, and I talked to him,

I'm like, all right, I'm doing a spot tonight. 10.45 at the Comedy Store. And they go, no, no, send us a tape. Why are I going to send this fucking tape for? You live right here that way. Yeah. Just go to the comedy store. See what I'm about, and this will make it easier for you and shit like that.

And I would send them blank fucking tapes. Oh, that was great. I don't know what. What was the name of the movie? It was you, and you didn't see the tape because there ain't no tape, bitch. What the fuck was that guy's name? He's the one that told me to put a handcuff on and go on stage and start talking about being the lost. What?

Like a handcuffer on your wrist? Yes. Like you escape from the cops? Yes. And be the lost. And you have to travel around the world with that? He wanted me to be the lost blues brother. That guy is now selling fucking, he's the number three guy at Chipotle.

He's the guy that picks up the meat and don't make eye contact. You know what I'm saying? He knows that he's giving you zouettes. he's hoping to make it up to the cashier I'm not happy you're still doing what you're doing man you're still doing what you love you're happy you're off the fucking sauce the pills whatever the fuck you want even though you're miss yeah I was on prescribed pills I mean it's funny

I got I had I got miss diagnosed sometime they gave me the wrong voltage what they gave me the wrong fucking dosage like dosage and I was taking it for a while. Oh, my God. Whatever the fuck it is.

Vosage, voltage. Is there any difference? Damn, you and Lou Reed, man. And I didn't feel good, man. I just didn't feel good about myself as a human being. I mean, yeah, I was doing a fucking gram and a half a blow every night. And then taking the anxiety pills. Like, something's not right.

Chemically balanced. But then I took a few days off from the blow, and I kept eating those pills. And I was feeling worse. The Coke was helping it. and I remember taking one of those pills and giving it to Sergio Love. You know what Sergio is? You remember Sergio, a comedian. I called them up.

I go, Serge, come over me. I got this pill for you. It's off the charts. It's the new thing in China. Let me know what you think about it. It was basically an anxiety pill. Yeah. He took it in like two days later.

He's like, dog, whatever the fuck that was. That shit was heavy. And I was like, I'm getting, I never did an anxiety pill again. Yeah, yeah. That's why I was asking you creepy questions about anxiety. talk a lot about the podcast. We talk about fears and anxiety and, uh, you know, today, I've been, like I said, I've been in hell lately with this breathing thing. Yeah. And today, the last thing I want to do is go to Jiu-Jitsu. So I go in the back, I get the jump rope. I start jumping

rope and guys, I can feel myself passing up. Yeah. Like my own fear in my mind, guys. Yeah. Nothing was happening to me. Oh, no, I've been there. Nothing was happening to me. It's like, it's like the emotion just for no reason take over you it's just there it just takes over your fucking mind guys there was nothing wrong with me yeah nothing at all and I kept jumping rope my breathing would get heavy and I'm like self

panicking now I'm catching myself because I kept doing it doing it doing it doing it and I'm like I don't know how I'm gonna make it through jihitsu like when I walked in I'm like this is not gonna be a good day yeah I drank some fucking water I kept drinking some water I got on the line and you know what man 20 minutes into jihitsu I was having a fucking blast.

Yeah. Sweat and everywhere, dripping from my ghee in my head. I'm like, this is tremendous. Yeah. Yeah, the exertion helps a lot. Because I took up running, too. I actually got a couple marathons done.

No way. Yeah, I got two of them in. That's fucking, that's hard. But yeah, I've done a couple halves, but I wanted to do the L.A. marathon, but it's fucking raining. It's like raining constantly here now. Can't train.

But, yeah, I think the running, you know helps for sure you know just like jiu jitsu you get a good sweat going man that kind of that mellows a lot of things out it makes your mind right that first puff of sweat that comes out of my body when i go in the panic is the weirdest feeling my body ever experiences yeah it's like i do what i got to do and all of a sudden i'll sweat a little bit but then there's that panic sweat where the panic comes out and all of a sudden i got to pee yeah i got to pee right away i mean right way I gotta pee right fucking them yeah it's such a fucking horrible feeling I always kind of when I would talk about it described it like it was a little shot glass just filled with like

crazy shit like every fear and every anger and every uh you know just everything that ever made you anxious and it's just teetering right there on a wire and you feel it you feel it and then it tips over and then it's just there kind of like it just overtakes everything and uh yeah man when I was excuse me when I uh you know worked here in the valley before I ever started working you know for a radio station here you know there was a time where you know you're just like you know I had this little office and I'm surrounded by nothing but file cabinets and there's no windows and you know I can't tell me how many times I'm just in there and just like uh you know you're ready to just scream you don't know what to scream or to crawl into the table it feels like a fire

drill you know that that's you know that's real shit man I just weird I do that sometimes in the car if I get really frustrated yeah I've done that like especially coming back from that job yeah just like just scream if I help sometimes yeah right yeah but again not since 2009 man shit hasn't happened it was it happened like three to seven times a day and then oh wow yeah I was like it did you know I'd always have to like excuse myself from rooms and things like that because you could feel it kind of coming on but um yeah man I also had really bad ass month so it was like you know I'm I'm glad that that life is a lot easier to deal with, you know, when you're not having to fucking deal with that.

So I, uh, you know, I hope it helps out. A lot of people listen to the show that when we discuss situations like this, a couple of days there, they send me emails and they're like, yeah, we're happy you talked about, you know, everybody goes through weird shit. Oh, sure. Yeah. This has been going on with me for about three and a half years now, these panic attacks at Jiu-Jitsu.

I got a panic attack a little. little tiny one at the Wiltern theater. A little tiny one. I got a little tiny one at the goddamn comedy jam. Were you performing at the Wiltern? Yeah, dude. Yeah, I can see that. When I walked out on stage, I got a little fucking whatever.

And you know what? I breathe out of my nose. That helps. I got the surgery. So I completely took those old Coke rocks out. You ever do the meditation thing? You ever try that out? I sit by myself every morning. I cross my legs. Yeah.

You know, I get my spine straight. Yeah. I close my eyes and I breathe for about seven to ten minutes just out of my nose. Then I put a mouthpiece in and I breathe. This is something I work out of me. Yeah. Because it bothers the fuck out of me. When something bothers the fuck out of me, I work on it, you know?

Yeah. I don't try to really kick it to the side. So boss rooting. Mm-hmm. He has a mouthpiece. And he said that if you do a certain workout through the mouthpiece, it'll eliminate asthma because it makes you push. Oh, really? It's you clip your nose.

You clip your nose and you just breathe in and out. It just makes your lungs. No. Diarrframe. Diarrange. Stronger. Yeah. You know, so I do a little workout in the morning. So that breathing has helped me a lot. I can't lie.

But you know where I get anxiety? You ready for this? The original room at the company is not. Really? Really? The main room I'm fucking Baryshnikov. I come out jumping and slinging on the fucking little room. Every time I walk up those steps, I get to the top of the steps.

I got to take my jacket off. and throwing the chair and if I have enough time, I sit, then the light comes on for the comic before me and my heart starts racing. As he's bringing me up, I just keep breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing, and make sure I got water breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing. As I'm walking up,

I'm basically dying. And once I hit the stage, it just dumps. And then I do what I do. But those six minutes are a fucking nightmare. Yeah, man. And it happens with the stars, without the star. with marijuana, without marijuana. Like, I've experimented.

Like, well, you know, I'm getting anxiety. Absolutely, because I'm eating 18,000 milligrams of THC. You know, there's always somebody chasing you when you were 1800 milligrams of THC. You know what I'm saying? No, there's nights I won't eat for three or four days and go down there. Sure enough, the original room Friday at 1130.

I walk up, my heart's beating out of my chest. I feel like I'm going to fucking faint. Yeah. You know, I'm walking minus two miles an hour. I'm gasping for you. Yeah. When you guys saying anxiety attack, what do you mean? Because I don't know, I don't know if I've had an anxiety attack.

I probably don't have anxiety attacks. They don't have too much money. Sometimes things slow down a little bit. Like, it'll seem like a little bit. Definitely doesn't slow down. It didn't slow down for me. Like, like,

sped up, but slow down at the same time. Yeah, again, like I just had sort of symptoms of anxiety attacks. I don't think, you know, it was the sort of panic.

You know, because I don't want to compare it to that because I don't, I don't know what other people feel when they feel that panic. Right. I just know that for me, a lot of things that he's talking about, the heart in the chest, but it was a racing mind. So it was like, it wasn't slowed down. It was just like you get all this information.

And it could be information that you got five days ago that's just suddenly just pelting your head all at once. And you don't have a place to put it almost. And, you know, it feels like you're going to pass out, but there's no passing out. uh so that was you know that was one of the things too but you know like i would just sort of like break down in tears a lot too you know just be sad like you know something horrible happens but then what's what's weird about it um i don't know if you remember this but like in in like real stressful situations i could handle shit like do you remember that uh that car crash that happened right in front of lampoon that time where that chick her eyeball like exploded

and so i was like the first person there and i'm all like okay you sit here and I took my shirt off, bandaged her head up, called the ambulance. The guys over at that newspaper stand who are all comedians are just like, you can't do that. And I'm like, dude, you either help, help or don't, you know, kind of thing. And then I went around the corner after all of that happened and they get her all bandaged up, get her ready to take her out. And I like puked and start crying and stuff like that.

So then that's when the attack happened. But during it, it was, you know, it was fine. That's when everything slowed down and everything was like calm. But, yeah. Yeah, the panic attacks where it's just, it's just this, you can't, I would always kind of describe it as a, um, you've got like six wheels turning and they're all kind of turning at different speed. They're all different sides or sizes. And I've got to slow them down and get them in sync somehow. And I can't do it, you know? And that's, you know, that was sort of the beginning of it. And then that's what you were always trying to do. That's what I was always trying to do. I don't think I get full blown anxiety attacks. I get. I get. Panic attacks when I'm on the bottom in jiu-jitsu and I can't breathe.

That's when I start to panic. I start to breathe through it. Like over the years, I've learned how to breathe through it on something. Sometimes I just tap and I have to get up and just breathe. And then I get right back on the bottom and we start all over again. I'm not going to lie to you. You know, you drink a soda and you eat an edible and you got on a plane and you mix caffeine with that edible, you know,

I've been to the point sometimes on that plane where I've said to myself, I could see me freaking up. Yeah. At any minute, just get up and start yelling, how old is, you know? Like, that's the point, but it's edible pushed.

It's not my own mental. Yeah. Like, I never, when I get that state, you're not going to hear a fucking peep out of me. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I'm going to yell out of trauma. No, no, no.

I'm just I'm scared of passing out I'm a pass out artist You know When I see blood I pass out needles I remember that Yeah yeah yeah

I'm one of those fucking mooks Do you have him Do you have him pass out in front of him Did you pass out in front of him? No no no I just remember I'm telling me that And I was so shocked by that

I think that one night I went to It was a UFC There you go There you go There you go Joe daddy Stevenson Yeah

Yeah I'm in my house No blow No nothing I'm sitting on the couch, minding my own business, and BJ Penn opens up Big Daddy's fucking head. And there's blood everywhere, and I'm dealing with it. I'm looking away.

I'm petting the cat. But all of a sudden, they show like a towel. Yeah. And that was it. It was over, man. I woke up at 4 in the morning. My shirt was drenched. You know, my sleep at me was in full effect.

He was feeling it, too. Like, the next day, he's just like, I can't believe this. It was blood. Not the next day, but like that Tuesday, I think. You're fucking. You're fucking. The time with Ralphie Mae, when I passed out on Ralphie Mae at the UFC, that was completely crazy. Yeah.

I was watching the fight, show, when he went into his corner. Same thing. I saw him wiping blood off his neck. Bam, I went down. Thank God there was a doctor next to Ralphie Mae. But I'm one of those fucking jerkoffs. I'll go down. I know how to breathe now a little better.

I've been really good with the blood, whatever, lately. I take blood out. I looked the other way. I put an iPod on. Yeah, I've never, I've never looked at that shit. I know there's people who could shoot them themselves and pull the pump. Fuck you. Yeah.

Fuck you. I have a friend, it's diabetic. He doesn't even, like, lift his shirt up anymore. It's just like through the shirt. Not just like, with the insulin. It always gets me to. I'm like, ah. You know, I have to look away when he does it.

I would love to do a little taste of heroin with a needle one day. What? put on like Led Zeppelin too and take my chances but I'm not talking about the shit they're doing Columbus and all those dating I'm talking about what they're doing do a minor scoop of it

just like a little so I'm high for two hours I poop a little bit that type of shit I don't know if you can place orders like that Joey yeah really if I could find somebody like a good nurse to come over here and shoot me a little bit of age

Jesus Christ. Give you a little shot in the ass to it. I swear to God, if you bring a nurse over here, I'm driving back to Boston, I wouldn't even go to pick up Paula. No, you will. Oh, my God.

You'll get a little bit. I think you'll be fine. Listen to me. About a month, we're going to get a nurse to come in one night and shoot us with the finest Chinese heroin that ever fucking was made. You understand me?

That didn't take long at all to go from, like, I don't mess with any of that shit to... Nah, but this is the final front team. I'm 54 years old. I'm 28. That's right. This is just a little taste.

This is not a shot. This is not a hot shot. This is not a $10 bag. This is something that... We're going to find a nurse that's willing to do this. For $20, I could find a lot of people doing anything. For $25 bucks? I think you're just going to find a heroin addict to...

I've got a good nurse to come in with intravenous. The whole thing. Intravenous for what? Sure. Give us a little fucking pop-taught in one arm and a little H in the other one. Look at Lee Kevin Couch. He's getting uncomfortable. He's not a salivinous.

on it who's that no just kidding or we'll get some Chinese do to come and bring us opium sure but you know you know you do opium right you lay back and you're smoking you hallucinate and they turn the lights off and they tell Chinese stories and shit what would you rather do what would you rather do what would you rather do we'll get the nurse name listen Lee two years ago you're gonna get you we're gonna get go for the opium I think I think I have to draw the line at the opioids no I've seen Pee blinders it looks fun Lee it's fun one time I'm gonna kill nobody don't believe nobody all these amateurs is talking shit they don't know nothing listen until

you do a little bit of China white you don't see the real devil all we're doing is seeing is messengers the message is all I can handle out this point all this shit you've been seen for the last four years these are just his messages this ain't the original the master of disaster it's a darkness I just love the conversation where you somehow trick it's like it's like how they tricked the those poor women into assassinating Kim Jong-un's brother in the airport. You're going to trick this poor nurse. Here, we're doing B-12.

I've got my own B-12. You're like the B-12. I know that they're on Group-on right now. You can't get a nurse from Groupon? Dog, if they're on Group-on, I can talk them into anything. There's a lot of shit you can get on Group-on. If they're on Group-on, I can talk them into anything. On Group-on, you get a vitamin D shot.

an adrenaline thing, a vitamin B, whatever. Yeah. For like $28. I don't know what it is. I just saw it together, and I went on there for my wife to get her a new yoga thing, and I got really stone. I said, let me look at yoga things, and I didn't know you could narrow them down. And I narrowed them down.

I found a yoga studio for before. But before, I had to tolerate all this shit for, like, an hour. Oh, right. And I went, I saw a fucking intravenous and D-12. I also narrowed down the fucking kettlebell gyms and studio city cars. Suck you should be ashamed of yourself There's 30 of them on Groupon No there's not there's

Uh whatever Go right now go right now To Groupon in front of us Right now it's the same difference they do kettlebell class Fuck not Go to kettlebell classes

In Studio City and I guarantee you get Five right off the fucking top CrossFit Anything to get you out of the house It's $18 some of them That is the best And the kettlebell workout? No, no.

Groupon. Oh, yeah. No. Guy, I use it all the time. Groupon is brilliant. It really is brilliant. Listen, I don't want to buy the house. I just want a lease one to do.

Right, right. You know? There's a, I always find it fun. I can't remember which show it was, but there was a concert. It was like two-for-one tickets. And it was a good show. They had somebody on there now. You had there.

They had Metallica. Somebody was on there. Yeah. I was like, whoa. Yeah. Prophets of Rage. It's profits of rage. Two for one tickets. Really? Yeah. Like when they played the, I think it was Palladium, maybe?

No, I don't think it was prophets or rage. It was somebody bigger than Prophets of Rays. And I was in shock. Oh, no, this is the one I saw. I haven't been on. I haven't been. They got great fucking deals on that. Dude, it's great. Yeah. That's why I got the fucking hypnotist lady from. It was Group 1. You know, I tried to do that once. It didn't take. Yeah, it didn't take. I tried it. But it was, in fairness, it was a guy who,

did hypnotherapy, but then was also like a hypnotherapy comedian kind of guy that, you know, made you act like a, you know, tip shit on stage kind of one of those dudes. Is that real? I guess it's real. I mean, I've seen it. That guy in Boston. We had a guy come into Lampoon one time, and he didn't get everybody, but he got some of them. He got three of them.

And what do you make him do? just like euphoric feeling of orgasmic euphoric feeling and then she went all like I'm not going to imitate her but that was the only one I remember but I remember other people were hypnotized

I don't remember all of it though I think I'd done too many drugs it didn't take or it did take the first time I did it with this lady that Dr. Bidici recommended something happened I gotta be honest with you,

something did fucking happen. Somewhere along the line, I went out and I came back. I can't lie to you about that. Did it take? I don't fucking know. You know what I'm saying? And then she gave me some key words to say whenever I would get panic attack.

I just used it by the keywords, and I'm still here. I didn't jump by the window. Yeah. Well, that's good. And then this lady here, I didn't go out, but I noticed something. I noticed that when I got there, I wasn't going 100 miles an hour. I walked in there, like, you know.

And as soon as I sat down, I got more and more, like, her voice, you know, and she took me to somewhere. I don't know if I passed out, though. Yeah. Hmm. What about when I saw is? Because, like, I had my first massage on Friday or Saturday when we spoke about it on Monday. but afterwards, I just, I felt like more relaxed than I've ever felt in my life. Do you do, what do you guys do that for panic or anything to help you guys?

I never did, no. No? No. It was recommended, but we don't have a lot of massage parlors. I don't know. I just, I don't know. I don't want somebody touching me when I'm having a panic attack anyway. Yeah.

I'm laying down. I'm looking at the fucking floor. The other day I went, I go to the chiropractor. I laid down it, and I got a panic attack. Yeah. because I couldn't breathe. The way the thing was at that time had me all fucked up. So she's like, are you okay?

I'm like, not really. I got up, I looked around, I breathed a little bit, and I was fucking fine. Fuck. It happens, man. It's how you handle those things. That's all it is. I've learned. I used to, when I first experienced them, I was a kid.

And I think I would cry and shit. But they didn't give me dick. My mom would give me like Blackberry Brandy. Right, right, right. I just say, go take that door a shot. And there's a difference, too. between doing, you know, just being nervous about something, too. That's not necessarily a panic attack either, even if it's being really, really nervous. Like, you know, coming in here, I was a

little more nervous than I am going to work because it's a different environment, you know, and, you know, you have different listeners. Are you on air on care? No, not really. It's like, I'm like in the background. I'm not union, so I'm not on a microphone. So I make little quips and shit from time to time but uh, mostly just a producer and you know, button pusher and things like that, yeah. But not too much.

Um, but uh, what was I saying? What I was talking about? What the fuck knows? I don't fucking know. I have no fucking idea. There's a good point. You know, it's funny. You know, it's funny that you're 28. How old are you not? I'm 42. You're looking good, brother. Thanks, man. Looking handsome. I thought you were like 36.

No, thanks. I was 36 when, um, We met now. No, no, no, no. Yeah, as well, no, I was younger now at your eyes, like 33. It's funny. Like, right now, how old is Johnny Rockley? I think he's about my age and a year older. He was at the story on there where Rizzo.

Okay. You've known Johnny Rock now for four years. Right. Since we shot the CD in Irvine that time in Bray. Right, yeah. In 15 years, you're going to bump into Johnny at the comedy store, at Sony. And you're going to be so fucking happy. whether you talk to him or not

you know look at somebody who survived the fucking holocaust out of here well it's weird just even just to say I have known Johnny for probably about five years that's weird like I think when you get out here you just kind of put your head down and it's

it blows my mind that I've known him for five years I've known you for six or something like that Steve Simone for five someone like it's when you really sit down and think about how long you've known people and this just goes for anybody I talked to today this guy texted me for my first job ever in LA.

He just bought a house. He's really excited. And it's just weird. Like when you come out of college, you just kind of put your head down. And when you kind of bring it up for a second. That's why I tell you, motherfucker, this dog, it moves fast. Oh, it does, man. It moves fast. Fuck.

You know, if you watched, last week was my birthday. One of my buddies put 37 years. I went and left the house. I'm like, man, how do you know somebody about 37? Because, I mean, I'm doing the math now. Is it been 11? we know each other for 11 11 years man

How long? When did you get out of here? Well, I got out here in 2000 I was here already I was waiting Yeah, yeah, so And I met you years later I think I met you in 2005 2006, 2006, yeah

What the fuck was I promoting? Oh, I don't know That I had a good Oh, no, no, no, no, I do know I do know Oh shit, dude It was, you were on tour with a bunch of Latin comics

Paiosso Comedy Slam? Was it Piaoso? I don't think it was that. I think that came after. No, that came after, I think. Oh. But yeah, it was you and,

man, I'm just going to throw everybody scrambling in my brain right now because I want to say Joey Medina, but I don't think Joey Medina was. No. I wonder what the fuck it was. I'm just happy to see you, Kevin. Yeah, man, I'm glad you.

I'm happy you're in the fucking neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? Like that's good. Yeah, running into it. My buddy ran into you at 7-Eleven, too, he said. Yeah, somebody came up. It's weird, man. I run into a lot of.

Just now I went over to the weed stone. I bumped into Kevin's buddy. Yeah. So I got Kevin's number. Kevin from the guy that built the studio. Oh, yeah. So I got his number. You know, this is a small community.

Yeah. You know, this is small over here. This is just like I like it. Yeah. I don't want to live anywhere else in California. I love these five or six little blocks. here. Yeah. I love it. Are you in this block around here? I mean, I don't want to give away your Yeah, I'm close to the lower canyon. Okay. But I'm in that little nice white nest in there. Yeah.

It's just a white nest of nice people. I mean, like I lived in Silver Lake for so long. Like I lived in Silver Lake from like 2000 until uh, whatever, 2009 or that's something like that. And then everybody always bad talks to the valley, but I'm not from here. So I don't really have a frame of reference. But then I get to the valley and I'm like, this is, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, quiet and my car's not getting stolen i love it man i'm down i'm down for sherman let me tell you i'll wipe my name of this this morning the baby's talking to my wife my son you know i was already stoned i ate breakfast i wrote i i did a video i tweeted i look at them and i go you know what i'm going to start the call my wife drives her but i go

i take the ride mom we take my wife's car i go out there start my wife's car i don't want to listen the fucking music. It's beautiful out this morning. Yeah. You know, there's nothing like a nice dose of vitamin D at fucking 8, you know what I'm saying? When that sun's fresh. Yeah. The air is fresh. I went out there, just sat on it. Every morning I get out here. I've run

by this place before. Like, I get out and run. In the weekends at like six of the morning, five in the morning, because that's, you know, that's when I'm up anyway. So I know exactly what you're talking about. You know, it's out there. Just getting there, man. Yeah. I didn't give a fuck how long they took. I was stone. The sun was beaten on

my face, just that situation with that warmth. Yeah. I've always been a fan of that fucking warmed. Even when I live in Jersey, it was cold. Just that, that sun, you know. First person who walks by me as a guy with a dog. Hey, how you doing? Good morning.

Beautiful dog. Thank you. Black chick walked by me with a fucking chihuahua. Good morning. I said, good morning to her. She looked me straight in her face and said, good morning. Nice day today. Thank God it's not raining.

some stupid shit have a great day some fucking white dude old like 90 about 10 minutes like I'm 10 minutes maybe like 4 minutes later he walks by he just waves okay because there's a park by my house so they go to the park and walk around the park yeah so I'm sitting there and I look at this

I look down the corner and there's this woman she's got to be maybe 44 I know she's married she's got expensive clothes on you know what I'm saying like she got the hoodie and the whole fucking deal. And she's walking towards me. She spots me and she crosses the street. So I just want to see what the situation is.

Yeah, yeah. So as she gets by my house, I go, good morning. Guys, not even a fucking friendly fuck you. Yeah. And right after another chick that thought she was fucking Kim Kardashian, she's on my side of the street. She's 10 yards from me. She crosses the street.

Like, I'm going to tackle her to my fucking garage. You're just some shit. Nothing bothers me more than that. I go, good morning. That fucking hag didn't say nothing. And you know what the weird thing is? You'll be at like a house party or something in the area. They'll find out what you do, and then they'll want to talk to you.

Because they just don't want to talk to you because, I don't know, maybe because you're a big guy. I don't know. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to talk to them. I wouldn't want to go to those parties with type of people. Last time I went to, I got talked to going to an Oscar party. And I talked to my wife and go, well, honey, we got to do something time to time.

Somebody invited us, we got to go like fucking civilians. We were there five minutes. My wife looked at him and she's like, we got to go. And it was a casting director, but I had never seen anything like this. It was those type of people. Yeah.

Would walk by me and cross the street or, he's a scary guy from New Jersey. Oh my God, I hate New Jersey people. Right, right. So I don't even give him the fucking satisfaction. You know what I'm saying? Fuck them. Lisa, I'm scared to ask

What is on the agenda for the weekend? This weekend. Well, I'm going to go to, like, casino tomorrow, I think, either tomorrow or Friday. I've been playing polygamy this, like, full set, like actual legit set.

So I've been playing at home non-stop. And then, I don't know, we don't have any... No pugs, nothing. We don't have any pug related plan this weekend. No crepe classes. You never made another crepe. You know that?

And I got her creak. maker. She's never made another crepe maker either. Who the fucks and they eat grapes? I would love grapes. Go fuck out of here. That's it.

That's all you're doing this week? Yeah, I don't think we have any full on legit plans. We'll do something. How about you there? My brother from a different mother. This is my weekend of responsibility to the taxes done and shit.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I think you were picking up the black kid. I think you're picking up a little cute little black kid taking them to fucking the park we're gonna go play some frisbee in the park i've had some dogs we've joined the big brother program that's not a bad idea i've been a big brother i've done big brothers before my brother my real brother has actually been in big brothers for a long time man

he's still in there i don't think he does it anymore i think he moved or i think his little brother got big so he doesn't uh so he's gonna ask you what's your twitter handle oh yeah so my twitter handle let me uh because i want there was a story they went with this so i went from lampoon where I'm doing Joey interviewing Joey Diaz all the time. And talking about very adult things to doing sports, which involved a lot of high school games, some around the high school kids. So I pretty much douched everything out.

I would love to get the start again. It's at Kevin C-C-N-C-N-E-O-U-C-H, but the Kevin is with the C-E-V-N and the K is spelling C-E-H. So it's Kevin, C-E-V-I-N, C-O-U-C-H. Okay. And is that how you spell your name, or is that just how you're going to spell? That's how I had to spell it on Twitter. It's Kevin Couch, the traditional way.

All right. Yes. But just in the Twitter reverse it. Gotcha. Yeah, you just got to reverse that a little bit. I don't really use Twitter that much, though, to be honest with you. Don't you find, like, social media? I know you guys are getting out of here, but, like, I don't like getting on Facebook and shit anymore.

I don't care about people's opinions, like, right now. I'm like, I've never read so many books in such a short time in my life is right now, because I just die. I don't like watching TV. Facebook has gotten very weird after the election. Yeah Twitter's still okay I have a good time on Twitter Yeah

I still see some pussy pictures And shit like that on Twitter From time to time That's still legit That's beneficial That girls on Twitter The one that Called into the podcast

That licked guys assholes and shit She's naked on Twitter It's tremendous Well isn't she a I don't know What the proper word for it is Doesn't she Isn't she a prostitute?

Oh The word is not a prostitute She works at the chicken farm Costitou is a very avant-garde service provider or something is this like I'm sorry come on but she puts new pictures up

I mean fucking tits out tattoo over the pussy and there's somebody else on my Twitter feed some other crazy chick I know Taylor Vixen's back but she hasn't shown the tities it's the other one there's another crazy one the Cuban girl dropped out

the lesbian that would always put pictures of a pussy and shit. I think Twitter finally called her the direct and said, you got to stop. You got to stop. Because I've heard from different porn people. There's a girl I spoke to one night that said, Twitter, if she would put a picture of herself with a tit up, within 10 minutes, the picture would be down.

Oh, really? But her best friends show pussy, dicks and assholes, the whole fucking thing on Twitter. I don't give a fun. Twitter was not for Christians, you know what I'm saying? If you're not on Twitter, it's because you don't eat ass. You follow. Lee Syed has been eating Blue Apron for about four or five months now.

He's got his dad doing it. You know what? I've got a couple other friends that have done it. People who are on the go. People who want to eat healthy. People want to learn how to cook. People who want to save money. You know, people who don't want a lot of food going around.

Save time. That's what Blue Apron is about. Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. You understand me? you got dishes that would kill you. I mean, they're delicious how good they are. Lee brought over that chicken with the thing that day. You brought over a little piece to the house.

It was fucking tremendous. I can't believe this. Now, listen, not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high-quality ingredients make a real difference. So it's important to know where your food comes from. All right? Lee loves it. He loves the meals, him and his wife get together,

and they turn it into date night. And between you and I, Lee is learning how to cook. I'm watching him, call me up at night and go, you know what? No. I'm learning how to do this. I'm learning how to do that. I mean, you're not going to be a fucking chef, but at least you're learning how to cook. I cooked on Valentine's Day.

I didn't have a Blue Apron meal, but I would, in years, I would have never done that. And I cooked, I found a recipe online, and I took the skills that I'd done. I'd done some of these things in Blue Apron. And it's, uh, it's great. We had, we had to fuck that if you loved her, it would be Blue Apron. I'm sorry. That's right, dog. for less than $10 per meal.

Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with proportioned, pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals. Choose from a variety of new recipes each week. Will that Braypon's culinary team surprise you? Recipes are not repeated within a year, so you'll never get bored.

Customize your recipes each week based on your preference. Blue Apron has several delivery options so you can choose what fit. your needs and there's no weekly commitment so you don't get only get deliveries when you want them each meal comes with a step-by-step easy to follow a recipe card pre-portioned ingredients that can be prepared in 40 minutes or less you get home at six by six forty five you're sitting there like a

soldier blue apron's freshness is guaranteed and they promise that every ingredient and your delivery arrives ready to cook or they'll make it right All right. This week's menu. Let me turn you on to this week's menu. Let's say you get the two people menu. You got smoky pork burgers and blackened chicken and rice. Let's say you get the family thing. You got Sicilian style Bucatini and you got cod and tomato stew. Who's better than you? Do me a favor. Go to blue apron.com right now slash Joey. All right. This is what we're going to do for you. You're going to love how it feels and taste and create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue apron so do not wait in the samey what we're gonna do is go to boypin.com right now slash joey check out this week's menu and get your first pre-meals free okay with free shipping by going to blue apron.com slash joey you'll love how it feels and taste and to create incredible home-cooked meals that's blue apron.com slash joey blue apron a better way to cook all right I love this stuff I think you're gonna love it too

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Helixleep.com slash Joey. I also want to listen. This Shroom Tech sport is tremendous. If you just go to Onet and get the Shroom Tech Sport and the hemp protein, you're going to love me for the rest of your life. Go to honor.com right now and press in. BAM!

C-H-U-R-C-H and get 10% off your first order delivered to your house. I want to thank Honet. I want to thank Heelix Sleep. And I want to thank my people, Blue Apron, feeding people for $10 or less, all right? I'll see you guys Monday morning. Stay black. I love you guys. I want to thank my main man, Kevin Couch.

Thank you, Joey. My bodyguard and trusted Goombah Lee Syatt, the Flying Judah Pride of Israel. And I'm your host, Joey D. and see you this weekend at Motherfucking House of Comedy in Minneapolis. Stay black.