The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #459 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: February 28, 2017

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio talking about Joey's time in Minnesota, the impact the movie "The Accountant" had on Joey's view of his own childhood, Joey's love for reading and more.  This podcast is brought to you by:  Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order of their seriously soft, feel good underwear.    MVMT Watches - Go to MVMTWatches.com/church to get 15% off of their high quality watches at revolutionary prices. MVMTWatches.com/church for 15% off, with free shipping and free returns.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 02/27/2017.  

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Go ahead. MVMTWatches.com slash church today to get 15% off. Oh shit. It's still black history, motherfuckers. And this is as black and beautiful as it gets. Little Chaka Khan featuring Rufus. Or the other way around. Does it fucking matter?

Monday, February 27. The church of what's happening now, motherfuckers. Here we go, cock suckers. So, bang. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here. Monday or Tuesday in your world, February 28th, the month, fucking flu. I forgot it was Black History Month.

That's how fucking fast it was. I think that's why they even do it. So you don't have that much time to even fucking jump up and down for the brothers. That's fuck, yeah. Thank God we had Danny Brown on. And, you know, I'm always trying to reach out to different diversities and females and whatever the fuck's available out there. What's happening, my brother?

Yeah, fucking Danny Brown was great. I love Dana. It's, uh, there's, there's a lot of negatives to technology, but it's, it's, it makes it harder to, like, hate people. Like, you're not, we're not racist, but if you're doing a podcast and you show you, you get a guess, they're black, like, they're black or maybe they're half, whatever, maybe, there's no way to hate. There's no racism in podcast.

That's the good thing. There's no racism in fucking podcast. I had a good time in Minneapolis. Fuck, yeah. If he came to any of the shows, thank you very much for coming out and supporting this. My sets were kind of rusty. Some of the people were laughing.

Some of them weren't. I just blew right past them. I got to work a little harder, and that's that. But if you came to the shows, I loved you. A lot of good people came out to the shows. Brandy Lynn came. I didn't even get to see how it was back there talking with the owner, giving me a fucking earbeat.

It was a cool dude, Rick Bronson. The Mall of America is fucking great. I really enjoy it. It's a lot of walking. I know for a fact I lost weight. I didn't eat any of the fucking food. The only thing I ate in there was brugas bagels with turkey on it. And Lego Land, I was going to go in there, but you could smell the fucking flu.

You could smell it. There's kids everywhere in there. Fucking, that's the only problem. Even if you go early, you got to take a flu shot and wear a scarf. You got to walk around in there, like a Japanese on an airport with a mask over your fucking mouth, because you're definitely going to get sick. Do you bring medicine? I bring everything. Yeah.

I bring fucking every. I have everything I have for every ailment I've ever had. I carry some of it on the plane. That's immediate. No spray. The Tylenolars, the other one, anxiety medication, a vapor pen. I'm prepared. And then in the room and my travel bag is where I have my eardrops and shit like that.

Then I have another bag. And in there I have like pieces for the sleep happening machine. sugar for coffee, blue packages of coffee, a lighter, rolling papers. It's all backup. So any time I go to the store before I travel, I get two of each and I stuck it in there. If anything ever happens, I got rolling papers in the sleep apnea machine. I got a lighter hitting in the sleep apnea machine. Just in case we're on an island, who's going to fucking live?

At least I got two days of clarity by smoking until fucking I got to start eating rocks and shit. Have you ever been sick, like full on, like a flu? At a gig, yeah? Oh, no. I had in Chicago last year, two years ago in Rosewood, where I taped the special, I had, there was the worst ever. I had that shit of vertigo. Vertigo. Oh, no.

Yeah, it was fucking horrible. I could have canceled, but I didn't on a Saturday night. I remember walking in the airport the next day and thinking that I felt like I was going to die. I had to walk a certain way because every time I stepped out of it, the place would see. spend. That's scary. I actually, one of the maddest times I've ever been at my mother was she got vertigo and fell down and they called an ambulance. Like they had to bring an ambulance. No, no, it's horrible. I made it through the show. I laid down all day. I didn't make any unnecessary movements. It was something to do with my ears and swimming. So I tried to drain my ears, drain my ears, drain my ears.

C-tipped them. And then I did the best I could on stage. If I'd go a certain way, I couldn't be very animated. It's a motherfucker to get sick when you have to do comedy and I've seen people work through it, man. It's like anything else. You know, it's like anything else. It's not even the sickness. What about the personal issues? What about if you're going through a divorce? What about if someone in your family dies? What about somebody if your family is ill? You still got to turn it on for that hour. You know, one of the biggest lessons I learned, I think one of the things that made me that that toughened me up the most was when I forced myself to do a set after I drop off my daughter Jack. When I drop her off on Wednesdays, I can never describe to you people at home how bad I felt.

Because it always felt like it was the last time I was going to see her. And I would go home, the first couple weeks I would go home and get upset and get angry and fucking puke from the anger. you know you have to fucking, when you get that headache and your blood pressure rises, or my blood pressure would drop, I'd puke. And then I figured it out after like three weeks. I said, the only way I'm going to get good at comedy, and the only way I'm going to overcome this pain, is by forcing myself to do comedy after I drop her off immediately.

So there was one room that started at 8 on Wednesdays. Thank God for Andy Payton. And I would drop her off at 7 at the Safeway, and right from the safe way, I would force myself to this fucking comedy room with six people. And I would probably cry halfway there, and then the other halfway I'd be okay. I'd always had a joint in the ashtray.

And that, you know, that's mental toughness when you have to go on stage with that pain, you know? You know, in the beginning of comedy, you have to go on stage, and this month you don't pay the rent. How can you crack jokes when you're about to get thrown the fuck out? when you can't pay your car insurance,

but this is all part of the toughness. This is all... I watched a very interesting movie this weekend. What's that? It wasn't the Academy Award Award with it, but it let me know that in some instances, my... or a way of thinking that I was instilled as a young man still works.

I watched the movie The Accountant. That was a really good movie. I watched it on the plane because you're on a fucking plane. You know, I have my iPod. I'm hot. and the accountant was about Ben Stiller and Ben Affleck and he kills a bunch of people. And that's the subplot of it. That's the main thing.

But the subplot is about a child who suffers from severe autism. When he was a young man, he suffered from severe autism. He still has it. He hasn't. So it was kind of weird how his father was an army guy. And he didn't want him to be pampered. So he made him force it on him. And there's one scene where they show him fighting a Chinese guy

or a Vietnamese guy or an Asian guy, whatever. I don't want to be whatever. And he fucking, he's beating these kids. You know, they're beating him, but he's beating these kids. This is a man beating two kids. And finally he turns around and looks at the father, and he goes, enough. Tomorrow's another day. And the father goes, no, to see what you got.

You got to peel layers back every once in a while. And he goes, I got to know my son's limitations. I almost cried on the fucking plane because America doesn't think like that no more. America is not even close to thinking like that anymore. And in my mind still, you know, I hate fucking needles. But Thursday, I'm driving to Marina Del Rey to drive I hate the most in the world on the 405 to force myself against this fear. You know, I'm not looking to be the greatest jiu-jitsu guy in the fucking world.

Not at all. I go there because every time I go there, it's a struggle. It's hard for me to breathe. panic. So people don't do people in this country anymore are not doing this stuff with their kids. I've had parents tell me that their kids had severe cases of ADD. Let me tell you something. I think about my childhood and I had ADD like a motherfucker and so there are a lot of people around them and it went untreated because nobody knew what it was then. And you know what? People dealt with it. People found something to deal with. I'm going to tell you something that you're going to

fucking turn this podcast off when I'm going to tell you. But I'm going to tell you that it's very true. You know for years from the years of 87 to 91 or 92, this is embarrassing to say. Every time I did

cocaine, once I got to a certain level of highness, I would do math for hours. What do you mean? I would buy a math workbook that had algebra and what's the one after algebra? Geometry? Geometry. And I fucking would do the workbooks for two, three hours at a time while I was doing a ball of Coke.

What? As retarded, I'm embarrassed to say this. It started in 86, and I would sit there for hours and do what if things. What if I had 40 kilos of blow? And I cut each kilo with four ounces, which would give me a kilo is what, 32.2 ounces. I mean, that. You're doing drug word problems. would do drug work problems for four or five hours until I got so bored I did every figure I

tried to break down how much Steve Graybow would sell to make six million dollars so that's reverse algebra do you understand me I would fucking do that for hours what would Steve Graybow have to sell to pick up six million dollars every six weeks that one took me like fucking two months but I figured it out of my own. After he got caught, I do all that. And you think back to it now. I can never do math like that now. But all I was doing was giving myself,

what's the pill people take today, the speed to make him focus? Adderall. Yes, Adderall. It was a different part. It was a different thing of Adderall, if you really think about it. Cocaine worked in my mind like an Adderall. Why do you look at shadows so

much when you're on cocaine? Why do you focus on a fucking peephole for hours, why do you look under the front step of your door when you're on cocaine? How can you do that for six hours? And you focus and you see shadows and shit. Your mind plays tricks on you. Wow, because that speed, it's kind of weird to say. And again, I hope you people don't turn the podcast off when you hear me say this.

When I stop snort and coke, 90 days later, my eyesight went to shit. I wish that was a joke. How's your math? your math is still good my math is solid but I can't do what I was doing in 87 for four or five years what I'm doing now

and you didn't get a calculator not even close I wouldn't fucking buy a calculator if you paid me why? Because I'm still a mat dude I still do everything by hand have you made like a terrible mistake yet

I correct you know because of my ADD I do the thing four or five times so the end of the other I don't take ADD medication, but in this movie, the father recognized the kid had a problem, and instead of pampering them and putting them in a school where everybody hugs each other, and nothing gets solved, you know, the kid would force himself every day to play loud music and play like a flash strobe light for 10 minutes.

And at the end of the 10 minutes in this movie, the character would eat whatever they take, whatever somebody with that disease or that, whatever they call that takes. Right. And it's great because he would do more things. Like he would rub his muscles. Rub his muscles. Like he, and I don't know.

Like, what do you think? Like, do you think he became like sort of a criminal because of all that? No, no, no, no. You know, the autism that he had just caused an extreme. That's the thing. No, no, the autism made him a great accountant. The autism made him a great accountant. And, you know, I never knew until about two years ago how smart those autism is.

What a weird thing. Oh, yeah. Have you seen the one? It's a weird thing. It's just a weird spectrum of. There's this one guy that I've seen where, and who knows it could be fake, but it's like it says that they took this autistic man on a helicopter ride around New York City and he drew in Penn the entire skyline with it, like every building from memory. It's like they may not have, I don't really know that deep into it, but a lot of them have, like they might lack socially, but they're just so, they're like next level smart, like smart that we don't even understand. All right, so, you know, guys, you go on the road when you write, you know, like I've said a thousand times, I always write for 10 to 12 years.

I would sit there how I was taught to write. You sit there like three fucking idiots and you chew on your pen and you throw down stuff. It became so fucking bad for me that I stopped doing it completely. And that's why nothing was really going on in my life. Nothing really, really started for me until I started going on MySpace every Monday and writing a blog. And even though the blog was misspelled or whatever, just doing working that muscle every Monday, I would take a notebook and lay that next to me. And while I was working that story, I would think of three or four other stories. It would exercise my muscles.

You know, when you work your biceps and you're doing curls, yeah, the primary muscle of the fucking curl is your bicep. But the secondary muscles are your forearms and your, you know, your shoulder has three heads, though front head of your shoulders. And it's just really interesting shit. And the same thing happens with writing. One of the things that got me, there was two books that really stood out in my mind. The one book was On Writing by Stephen King. And I had read at this point, I'm not going to lie, nobody.

I did what everybody else does in L.A. L.A. has a scam. L.A. has a scam that when you move here, Lee came here to be an editor. And one day he goes, Joey, you know what? my minor was writing, so I'm going to start writing. So what will Lee do? Lee's either going to have a good friend that's a writer

because birds of a feather flock together, or Lee's going to go to Samuel French, like every other fucking sucker, including myself, and buy 2,000 books on writing because we feel that if we read half the book, we're going to learn how to write. And guys, I threw away thousands, thousands on books. And I got to be honest,

I read every single one of them. But you know how much I did from reading those books? Not one thing that they told me to do. Jean Perre, when I first started, who was Bob Hope's writer, it's a great book to read, but you're going to read jokes, and you're going to go, Joey, what the fuck? Did this guy write in electricity, or did he write in a candle? Because they're old-style jokes, you know,

but he teaches you the basics of writing a joke. That was the only workbook I ever ever did. And I did do the Judy Carter workbook. I could be wrong, but I think you're way ahead of more people just even reading the books. I have a ton of books. Like, whenever I get involved in something, I'll buy two or three books. Like, the last thing I bought was three Blackjack books. I've had them for a week, and I've cracked, like, one for, like, three minutes.

I think a lot of people buy those books, and they don't even ever even open them. When I went to prison, I realized the importance of reading. I knew how to read. I learned how to read. I had a teacher in the seventh grade, Mr. Kingmo, the guy that left me back. he made you read a book a month and do oral book reports. And I really learned a lot about myself

because I learned how bad my comprehension was. And that's ADD. I learned how bad I could read a whole chapter and then you could say, Joy, what's the chapter button? Go, ah, so I would have to read everything twice. Until today, I read everything twice as I'm reading it. I won't retain anything if I don't.

I even have to make notes sometimes. When I read a good book, once I'm on page 15 or 20, and this book's got me, whether it's a Jimmy Page book, which I, I started the other day, and then I didn't take it on the fucking plan

because I knew I'm going to get hooked on this fucking thing. Lalingis, cuck, sucker, get me a book that's going to get me hooked like heroin, and it's two fucking days of reading up all night, and that's what you would have happened to me. In prison? Well, in prison, I started reading.

and one of my good buddies in there was a librarian and he found the books that I liked You know in prison was where I discovered Kujah and I discovered I haven't even I discovered On Wings of Eagles to Ross Perrault story I discovered Snowblind by Zachary Swan Another good book about smuggling this guy was smuggling the 60s. I discovered a book you know Just just this guy you turn me you know books on music it was endless It was endless. It was endless.

And the book club was us in prison talking about the book when I brought it back. He would give me the book. I'd read it and then I'd come back. And it was him and a black guy that were always in the library and they read everything. And they kind of read the same. Guess what else I read in prison? What? Goodfellas.

Way before the movie, way before the movie. I read Goodfellas in prison and during while I was reading their book, they did an interview on Henry Hill in 2020. So I was reading top-notch books in prison. I read like the, you know, I read a little bit about, you know, because I had a lot of black friends in there. So I read a little bit about not Martin Luther King, but Minister Farrakhan. I read a lot of different stuff. Obviously prison is terrible.

But if you're like, you were lucky. You went through high school. But if there's people in prison who didn't get to go to school for whatever reason, can you go to prison and get an education? education? Yes. Really? That's cool. Yes.

Yes. You go to prison if you really, really, really want to learn and they have it available to you. There's inmates that are solid guys, man, and just because they made a mistake, some mistakes were worse than others, some weren't thought out. Because of the crime I did and the points I had and the situation I had, what a When I got it, I went into a place where it was people getting out soon. They had two or three years left.

And these guys had already done their hard time. And I got to talk to them. And they explained different things to me, you know. And I listened. I listened. I learned a lot in there. I learned a lot about human nature. I learned about what I didn't want to do in my life,

the things I did not want to do. I looked at, I would look at 10 inmates. and look at seven of them that all had the same habits. I shied away from all those fucking habits. You know. Did you see those habits in yourself at that point? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Listen, two years before I got arrested in 1987. And in 1984, I knew I was going to get arrested. It was just a matter of time. I was just walking around. In 1985, I was walking around, waiting to get arrested or waiting to get shot and I was carrying a weapon. Once I went to Colorado, the weapon stayed and I became a different person. It was like I was a fucking person who would change.

And then after a few months, I went back to who I was, a fucking thief and credit card. You know, it was like a fucking pattern. But I always, you know, during that whole time, I was taking classes. even during when I lived in Snowmass and I was doing all the shit I was doing up there I was at Colorado-O-Mont college I was always one of those guys that had a little bit of hope that had a little bit of hope

I didn't think I could become anything but I wanted to absorb as much knowledge as I could that would get me to the next level That's so crazy to me Because you said that today on your periscope That you wanted to make something of your life And I don't know I'm starting to think that maybe my thinking

has been wrong, but ever since I've been a kid, the only like to me making it means just you have a lot of money. No, no, no. That's what people are wrong. That's the misconception we have to worry about 30. Because by 30, we meet people who have a lot of money that are living their life wrong, and we meet people who have a lot of money that are meeting. They're living their life the wrong way or we admire out.

There's two ways to live your life, how you have money. It's what part of your life you get it. If I give 10, 21-year-olds, a million dollars cash within a year, six of them would be broke. Two of them would have made investments. They would have bought a pizza place or bought their parents' houses or something. But six of them would have been gone. Now, I take those same 10 people and give them a million dollars apiece when they're 10, and the percentages are go low because they've worked.

They've paid off debt. You mean like at 30? 10 years later? At 30, yes, I'm sorry, at 30. And if I take those same 10 people at 40, what will happen? The percentages go higher because we paid our dues. It's like we goof around, but it's true. Women, when they're 20, they want the hot guy who's got a tattoo and a beard and, you know, says all these things.

But when they're 30, they lower their expectations. By the time they're 40, they'll marry a guy with a kid, you know, because they understand where life goes. It's a, I'm happy. I accepted prison at that age. It was good that I went at that age. And it was good what I got out of at that age. I got all the right things at that age. And listen, like I said a thousand times before,

I didn't stop being a fucking criminal, too, 15 years ago in one way or another. You know, I was still breaking a law or selling coke or stealing lighters. It's still breaking the fucking law. What do you think would have happened if you hadn't been gone to the prison that you went to? If you'd gone to like a hardcore prison? I would have fought for my life.

I would have, whatever the situation was, I had a rise for it. I knew that mentally before I went in. I knew that at every level. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But whatever it was, I was prepared. You know, I didn't play into the game. Listen, I could have gone into prison, hooked up, three dudes the first day because the first day I hooked you know me though you seem I get

every army I get the best Armenians in town the first day I got to camp George West I hooked up with this dude from New York that that that that that talking to me and but then an hour he had me hooked up with a shot of heroin in his room an hour later what are you talking if I wanted a shot of heroin and then he had a buddy who I could I've seen this guy before he was a white dude that kept smiling and agreed with him to everything and I knew that these two guys were by the way I wasn't going to do heroin I said yeah I'll see you later I got on like needles and I disappeared about a day later kid took me aside and go stay away from those two guys those two guys a scam artists they make you send the money and they they stay they make

their living off when you shoot heroin you shoot it there's a cotton ball and these guys would make their living off of that cotton ball like that cotton ball, that last shot of heroin. Like, they were just, you know, regular fucking tutus. So, yeah, I avoided them. That's it. I was still their friend. I didn't say I was at war with them or anything.

If they came into the kitchen and, you know, I could hook them up with an extra bun or something I would. I just didn't go into that fucking feed. I could have gone into any different group I wanted and I pretty much stayed to myself and got away with it. Is that like, I used to watch all those. I think I've watched every lockup. and the Nang-Gio one that they have. And that everything, and all that, I watched that stuff. Yeah, the isolation stuff and stuff was pretty much, I never saw that.

Okay. I never saw that isolation. So I could lie to you and tell you, I was hard. I was in a hole for three, no, that was. When I got in there, dog, I wanted to do my time and get the fuck out of that, okay? I wasn't going to let myself get bullied. I wasn't, none of that shit was going to happen. If you smacked me, I was going to smack you back, no matter what size you

If you spoke down to me, I knew how way had to talk back to you without you getting mad. And I never came down to that. I fought a kid in there, Severino. I still love him with all my heart. And I beat up that white dude for fucking, the dude I put the box of shit in this fucking draw, that half a fucking retard,

want to be biker. And that was it. I had no problems. And in the halfway house, I really had no problems. I just knew, listen, man, I was thinking this week, in Minneapolis about what's going on right now, whether it's animal planet, the podcast,

stand-up comedy, my family, the daughter, you know, it took 54 years to surround myself with the right situation. I'm no better than you or whatever. That's why I talk to you the way I do at the age of 28 because I want you to eliminate the waste. It's just a lot of waste. And God knows I did 90% of it In no different way than just doing stupid shit This country if you see the direction is going if you're young right now I want you to strap your seatbelts on I want you to focus I want you to buy property

I want you to do as much as you can so you have as much security by the age of 40 Who knows that we're gonna have social security? You know when I was a child they said there wasn't gonna be no social security You know who knows I'm 54 I'm thinking about social security? I'm I'm not gonna lie to you guys starting next year. I take Lee to breakfast every day, 15% off at Denny's, you know what I'm saying? And he picks up the tip. And McDonald's, you get like a free senior discount.

Sure. But I, I, the thing, you know, this morning I said something, and Lee called me, goes, it's the funniest thing. I said, you know, when I, I, I didn't watch the Oscars last night, but I watched CNN later on that night, and I saw what had happened and the people, or the Hindu who made the speech and the other guy who boycotted it

and, you know, it's like it's the Oscars. We're trying to have a good time and you got to bring all that shit up. You know, enough. And they do it for what? To get the pat in the back. You know, I'd rather fucking get fucked in the ass by a midget than that pat in the back

for me being brave, sticking up to Trump. It's over, you know? I mean, what the fuck are you bitching about still? You know? And I was sitting there thinking about I never want, I never want to be around those people.

Like that since I moved here guys guys I don't tonight I was supposed to go to Doug Benson's High Court premiere which starts tonight by the way and it's a pretty good show Doug did a good job He ate you smoking pot on TV you got to take your hat off to the fucking kids so when I'm on one of the episodes He's got a great crew of people that are playing bailiffs I think uh who else uh jessime peluso jessime peluso's playing one of the bailists one of our girls So yeah, they got a great crew, so I wish him all the luck in the world. And you think about the journey he took. When I think about comedy, I don't think of myself as a good comedian or a great comedian or that I'm going to be remembered or you don't see me going on tours or selling tickets like Dane Cook or nothing.

You don't know what I like about that I did? What's that? The journey to get to the comedy store. I still can't believe it. The talent with me, there's no talent. I'm just a fat fucking guy that grew up on a corner and knows how to tell a story. You know what I'm saying? There's no fucking talent here.

The talent was getting me here. Like, how the fuck did I end up in Cala fucking fully? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you went to school for four years. We've had this discussion. You've looked me in the eye and said, that school diddle got for you. You could have learned more in high school hanging out with four fucking dudes who are nerds, you know? But the journey you made, that's where the talent is.

That's where the persistence is. You came out here with a girl who came out here twice and left. You know, since we've been here, we've had people come and fucking go. The talent is getting here. It's not become, for me it wasn't, I don't see nothing in the comedy. I like that I do comedy and I'm lucky I got involved in it. But for me, listen, man, before my mother died, I knew I was going to bust out of Northburg. I love New Jersey.

I love everything it stands for. But there was something about Northburg. I know I didn't want to stay there. Completely understand what you're saying. I know there's a lot of people who understand what I'm saying, a lot of people who don't. And I appreciate a lot of the people who stayed at home today. I did something weird today.

One of my biggest sorrows is the damage I did in the bend the household from 1979 to 1981. It's unexcusable. You know, thank God Bobby talks to me. John talks to me from time to time who I was supposed to move in with. And yesterday, when I got off the plane, I went on Facebook last night to post some videos, and I saw that prayers for his sister, Renee. And I still remember moving in the house when my mom died and how she would cut my hair for free,

and I would go over there and she goof around with me. And a year and a half later, she got a boyfriend, you know, who I knew. And I can't lie, I kind of caught jealous. You know, I was a 17-year-old kid. She was like my big sister. who had a crush on and then she ratted me out about something and that really destroyed me so I I did something stupid years later it's not even worth talking about and I pissed off the family and then the father died who I was

just writing about in the book today how he came up to me at the funeral my mother's wake and said that it would break his heart if I didn't move in with him you know this is when I'm the night before I'm gonna bury my mother it was just a weird thing that happened and I ended up moving in with time and then you know I was just too crazy for John so when I found out the sister was in the hospital today I didn't have the balls to call the hospital I called her other brother Bobby and they're kind of at war and I convinced them I convinced them to go to the hospital and just take her hand you know and then I did the impossible I Facebook John because I don't have his number

and I said that I was I would light a candle for assistant say a prayer and uh uh I was really sorry for everything I had done all those years. You know, I want to go home and talk to him. And he said that he was not mad at me, that he was disappointed with me because in all the interviews, I never mentioned him or his father. You know, and I said, I talk about your father all the time. But I think it's time that I go back there. I go, I know your mom hates me.

I think it's time that I go back there and talk to you. I want to do something with you. he said absolutely. Wow. Can you explain, is it like a cousin? Is it like a brother? What is John Bender to you? John Bender was a kid that I was in the sixth grade with.

When I moved to North Bergen in 73, one of the first people I saw in the neighbor was John Bender. He was one of those kids that was loud and obnoxious and he had a dog and if he would make the dog bite you. What? And I thought that was, he thought that was cute. So I avoided him like the fucking plague. Okay, I just avoided him.

I would say hello to him. He had a brother that I knew, and that's it. And the brother was the man. The brother was the man. When you were a kid, you know, that dude, that's the man. He got a car. He's got the hottest chicken town. He smokes weed and listens to cool music.

His brother was the man. So I was slowly becoming friends with the brother Because I was tight with Carmine And he was always tight with Carmine So he'd see me always Carmine So he'd accept me for what I was Blah blah blah blah blah blah And then one day I'd transferred from fucking Catholic school

Got thrown out and I went to McKinley And now I had to go to school with John And all those other kids in that area And it was not hard for me I can't lie to it wasn't hard for me I knew them were written excuse me, I knew half of them already from the neighborhood.

So in the sixth grade, I fucking went to the courts like I did every day and I'm playing basketball because I want to be good at basketball. Okay. And this kid, Richie Ferreira, wants to play basketball. So we're playing basketball

and he's kind of drunk. Now I'm fucking 12. You know, maybe 11, 12. Richie Ferrar is maybe 17. So fucking, in the middle of the game, I say, Richie, stop following us. He pushes me and he throws the ball down the fucking hill. I get up to push and he just knocks the shit out of me.

And I didn't cry or nothing. I just took it and went down to the corner and went and picked up the fucking ball and went home. But my pants were ripped. I tell the story on stage. Not in the extended version, but this all went down and Carmine was on his porch with Peter looking at this. This was a commotion. And the next thing you fucking know, I go home. And I go in the shower.

My mom's home. What the fuck is my mom doing? Am I going to shower? The phone always rings when my mom is home. So I don't. But the next day is when I got home and she said, listen, I'm going to go to the park. You got beat up yesterday? He didn't do nothing.

And I'm like, Mom, what the fuck? So she's taking it to the park. She takes the guy. We fight. He beats me up again. My mom walks me home, tells me it's okay. I'm going to get into a lot of brawes in my life. But guess what Richie Ferrer does.

What? He hires John Bender to fight me. What? So I'm in the sixth grade one day, and John Bender comes and he goes, hey, fuck, oh, spick, whatever. We're fighting at three today. You, Richie Ferrarian, da, do, do, do, da. How old was John? Sixth grade.

We're both the same age. What? Both the same age. So now I go home, I take my books out. Now, this was big time. This was weird because they thought, Carmine was going to come. So Bobby got on the corner.

They had people on top of the hill, and John showed up with every white kid in town. And I'm standing there with fucking Martin Perez, Valentin Farrow, Dominic Specialial, and Michael Special. You know, he showed up with 15 fucking kids. And they made a circle, and I fought him, and he broke my nose. And I gave him a black eye, and he busted my lip. He really beat me up, if you want to know the truth.

and the next day we just went to school like nothing happened and then like a week later he comes up to me and he goes listen what happened I feel really bad and he shook my hand and I took it for what it was I always knew something was going to happen between us one day where I'd stab him or something I didn't say nothing

and fucking you know what he became my friend like he would look out for me and he cut a deal we used to go to we used to go, he would ask me to go steal punks with him. That's how young

we were. We would go steal fucking punks from the metal hands, those things that you let on fire and the mosquitoes would go away. And he'd go down there take 50 of those things. Come back, sell him, and give me 25 bucks. So he felt

guilty about what he had done. And I take the 25 bucks and, you know, we started going to movies together. He always liked the ugly chicks. and he always got me double dated and the chick looked like a fucking bus hit her. You know, and we became friends and I used to lend them my mini bike

and the deal was if I gave my mini mic for the day, he'd let me eat Italian food at his house. And his mom cooked the best fucking meatballs and sauce and got and salad. And just, it was fucking amazing. My head would blow up when I go to it. And they'd be cutting hair in the living room because Renee, the one that's in a coma,

would be cutting hair on Wednesdays and I'd sit there I didn't give a fuck about the hair I would get a bowl of pasta like rigatoni like a you know like Ziti and they put sauce on it and two meatballs

and a fucking big scoop of rigor cheese and we mix it up and then they put parmesan on it for me and she'd make me a big salad with Italian dressing homemade

with fucking hot pepper crushed hot pepper that's a best yeah dog they fucking freaked me out so they were very nice to me and then I would go they got

I used to have a pool, you know, the pool above the ground? Above the ground pool. And they got a below-the-ground pool, and they invited me over there, so I became friends with the fucking father and the brother and the whole goddamn family. Lee, I was family. And when my mom died, I was supposed to move in with Carmline, but he was too strict. I couldn't adjust.

So I moved in with the benders, man. And whatever my relationship was, the mother wasn't good. But the father was one of the best men I've ever met my life. There's not a week that goes by that I don't think about Jim. Bender and I don't cry or I don't feel bad because I didn't see him before he died. I fucked him over. I didn't go to his father's wake like a fucking junkie that I was. I was supposed to go to the wake and I stayed out to 5 in the morning and missed the fucking funeral.

And I was too embarrassed to call him after that. I think I did call him from prison one time, but I hung up. Then he ended up dying of cancer. When I did the longest yard, I did the premier party at Rascals in Jersey City and the sister, the daughter and John showed up. And we've been trying to rekindle a relationship ever since. You know, but it's just, and if I ever feel, I learned the biggest lesson of my life then. I had no right moving in there because I loved John,

but I didn't love him that much. John didn't do drugs. John and me had one hobby, the movies and Eaton, and he would make me laugh, you know, but John wanted more for me that I couldn't give him as a friend because I wanted to get out. I was in pain. John wanted to listen to the fucking Beatles

and stay home at night and bang ugly chicks. That wasn't for me. And he was getting pussy all the time, dogs. He was 10. He was knocking out bitches in that fucking apartment. Oh, my God.

You know, his father was very lenient. I embarrassed his family. I say it right out. I stole from his family. You know, I don't feel guilty. I feel very guilty about it. And I always felt guilty the day they asked me to leave.

And today, I think I started the process of just trying to eliminate that before I fucking punched the ticket because I just acted incorrectly, man. They were one of the best families I haven't met in my life. You know, at that time, I used to hang out with the vendors, the Balzanos, the Denny's, the Morans, the Garcia's. I had out of six or seven different houses, man, because these are, you know, I didn't have,

have this type of family structure in my house. At that age, by that time, by the time I was 12, my mother worked every day. If I wanted to see my mother would go to a bar and she'd give me whatever I wanted to, but I didn't want to go up there. I was as independent as could be. At 12, that's crazy. At 12, I was doing laundry. I was ironing my clothes. I was shopping for myself. I was vacuuming for my mother. I was washing the windows. I was cutting the grass. I was still smoking dope and doing illegal criminal activities, but don't get me wrong, I was doing what I was supposed to do.

That's why when she died, I adapted to it so easily in a way, because I was already watching me, you know, better than anybody else could watch me. Was it weird that your mom worked and wasn't at home during the day for you, or was that normal from Northburg again? Because I'm trying to think of, like, the 70s. In the 70s, both parents worked.

Really? Okay. And there was a neighborhood group. Okay. You know, I'm hearing more and more of these complaints from people that they just don't see kids, that this is the indoor generation. If you're 25 and under, you're the indoor generation. They have no whatever outdoor. That's why I push you to go up because I learned the hard way.

I learned the easy. My mother used to make me go out of the house. She didn't know I was doing what I was doing, but she wanted me to get out of the house. and she set something for me at the same time. She taught me how to get out and do something. You know, I talk to people who get hurt at work or get a surgery now because I'm at that age, and they tell me that the worst thing about the whole thing

is that they have to sit at home and watch daytime television. They didn't know how bad it really was. That you don't know how bad it really was. I try to avoid daytime. I don't try to turn that TV on. The TV comes, goes out in the morning. When I get on is the news. And once Mercy gets up, it's 289.

I watch Disney. I watched fucking Elena and the other two. Is Peppa Pig still big? No. She doesn't have a pig no more. Peppa Pig's gone. Damn. It's Elena Vavitard.

There's a new one. You know, and then she's into trolls. So when I left the house, she was singing Earthland and Fire, September and shit, and she would tell the mother to stop it. I'm singing. So it was pretty interesting. But that's why I got, this morning, I got mercy out at 9.

My wife's like, where are you guys going? We're gone. That's in my blood. You got to get out. Got to get out. Your room is clean. Make the bed. Let's go.

Brush your teeth. We're just going to go to the park. And then my wife met and I went to Jiu-Jitsu. I went to early, 11 o'clock. But you got to get your kid out of the house. And now that I watch that stupid Ben-Fucking Affleck movie, which I enjoyed because of that issue, because I still believe that I've had parents

tell me that their kids have extreme cases of ADD. They have impulse. How many times that I walked? What do you think? When I left the house, there's a million times I left the house thinking I was going to go to church and I ended up robbing fucking a super 7-Eleven and things like that. That's impulse control.

When you go out and see somebody's purse on the floor and you fucking stop what you're doing to click the fucking purse for the $20 billion. Two days ago, I found a fin at 7-Eleven. Till this day you put your foot on it. You just walk like you fucking got a bad knee. Wait, you didn't ask the guy behind the counter if anyone missed it or if they had a lost and found? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to ask them if there's a lost and found. You know what that's going to go? Right to ISIS. What are you fucking retarded? It was Tony Bennett. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart as I.

A somebody who will swear to be true As you used to do with me Who leave you to learn So I wasn't going to tell you motherfuckers today We had a great month Thank you for listening Thank you for supporting us You know, we're trying to put

We're trying to fucking give you guys great shows We're trying to give you a monthly report We're trying to get this music We're going on for next month We've got a great month in March A great month of podcast in March So thank you for the continued support From the bottom of my fucking little arts and shit

We thank you For coming to the shows And for buying t-shirts And you know For the love that you give me and Lee But today You know, every day I tell you guys I've been writing every day

Started with a sentence a day Now I'm up to like two and a half paragraphs And I clean up the paragraph from the day before. Whether it's good or bad, I don't know. Let the other fuck and take a look at it. He's probably listening right now anyway. Send him some props to my main man, Gordon.

And I listen to music sometimes when I'm just outlining it. Is it specific music? No, no, no, no. No, does any music? I'm doing Facebook. I get home from Jiu-Jitsu. I do the Jiu-Jitsu BJJ journal. I write what I learned, you know, to the T,

how I did rolling, I write down that I went on the mat that day so it's a number for the mat. I'm up to 2.86 this month, so I didn't do all that bad. What else did I fucking do? And then I do a couple other things. Then I go take a shower, I eat lunch with my wife, then I go back

and I check out all the shit I did, any other emails, I print what I got email, and then the last thing I printed out, it was LitLift, and I put YouTube on, then I got a notebook or a piece of paper, and I outline what I want to say that day just to blow it through instead of sitting there like a fucking momo

so what used to take me two hours now is taking me 45 fucking minutes because for 35 minutes I line and there's a 10 minute right it's fucking unbelievable I never did it this way so I do it that way and I'm sitting there and I don't know what the fuck

I put on I think it was sweet Melissa something by the Armand Brothers and I guess sometimes YouTube rotates you have a playlist And then they have a playlist on there. They were just playing songs. They played a...

They went from the Allman Brothers to Molly Hatchet to some other country thing. And then it went into Leonard Skinner, give me back my bullets. But I'm not watching the videos. I'm outlining. Somebody had called. I think you had called at one time. And I said, hold on one second. Oh, yeah.

All this shit was going on. And Leonard Skinner, Free Bird, which you've heard a million fucking time comes on. So it's coming on. So it's coming out and I'm hearing all this shit. And I keep outlining. I'm talking to my wife. I put the earphones back on it. It's up to a part.

And I go, let me look at this for a second. And guys, my fucking tongue dropped. Like, it just sucked me in. I saw something that this is why I would, I think I was on hot ones. And I talked about my influences. And I said that it's not, listen, you could say how many comedians you like.

I could tell you, I really liked Richard Pry. I really liked the style of the other guy. the white dude. I was a big Lenny Bruce fan, you know. But music has really got me enthusiastic about how they both meet, like comedy and music kind of meet somewhere. And, you know, I looked at Julius Irving as a child, and I said, wow, if I could do comedy, I would do it.

And it's a weird, whatever. I'd just like taking it to the hoop. Julius Irving wasn't, he was great at dunking, but he was great at taking. taking it to the hoop and that's why I like Julia Serving because I like taking it to the hoop I don't like going up there and dilly darling with you motherfuckers I would never do that I hate when people go up on stage and they don't take it to the hoop and then they like Richard Pryor for the language you use I like Lenny Bruce I liked Richard Pryor because he brought out that drug language

and fucking it freaked people up so he let me I allowed myself to fucking take that drug type of comedy from him but that music influenced me and I like the fucking style of Led Zapp Like the way they fucking came out. No drama, no explosions. Just four fucking dirty guys. Just playing. You know, but they're English. So people, there was an English explosion in the 60s.

You know, all those bands fucking, I don't even, whatever. We could go through this shit later. But it doesn't fucking matter. You guys know what I'm talking about, the Beatles, Led Zeppel. So it was a kind of liking for Led Zeppelin and all these English type of bands, David. Bowie, Eric Clapton, da, da, da, ta, ta, da. The list goes on. But then I'm looking at this fucking Leonard Skitt.

And it's a performance live from Oakland, 77, maybe a couple months before they died, you know. Put it in the middle lead. Let's start it from the middle where they start losing their fucking mind. And by the hat, yeah, start by the hat. Let's see if they're losing their mind yet. All right, so I'm watching this fucking video. Now kick it up a little more.

No, no, to the middle. to the middle. Now, I'm watching this Ronnie Van Zand. Kick it up right now. If you can watch this video right now on your computer, turn on whatever they are, Leonard Skinner, Live Oakland, Freebird. And I want you to watch the whole thing.

And what you're going to fucking see is yet, six guys that are fucking tremendous musicians from the piano player Billy to fucking, you know, the bass player, they're savages. But this is Oakland. And Oakland's known for fucking black. I'm sitting here right now

with Lee, and I'm staring at three levels of fucking people in a stadium. It's part of like a summer jam, obviously. But they're all rocking. I mean, I would love to be in the first five rows. It's all women with bikini tops. You can probably smell their monkeys and armpits and shit

and their dirty feet but yeah Leonard Skinner's rock it that's great they're expected to rock but I'm watching this and I'm like wait a second there's nobody in those three tiers of people which what do you think we how many people we're looking at right now

at least 80 thousand it's where the A's play it's like a 80 thousand people at the time whatever 77 now these guys got a confederate flag up on stage. They got two big, they got the, what's the poor presence? Oh, the Mount Rushmore. There you go.

They got the four presents cut in half, two on one side and two on the other. It's a daytime, so there's no light show. They got American flags everywhere hanging on the stage. They're fucking rocking. Okay? If you're looking at this video,

go a little more when they're all three of on stage just going fucking bananas. Little more right there, right around there. You have to see this to believe it. I like the fucking, what minute mark that way? Right now we're at about 8.

8.28, right. 828, 829. You fit, first all, the lead singer is just walking around. He just spit. He's got a Heineken on the fucking amp. He doesn't give a fuck. There's no dancing. There's no fucking around. There's

It's just him. He's just a redneck and he loves just sitting back there while these three guys don't give a fuck. And again, I'm looking at these guys. You can tell. They're not thinking about nothing. They are there. And to me, that is the fucking art right there. There's no resistance.

They're not looking at these guys going, wait a second. Where's all the cowboys at? These guys are imposing their will. That is the art. Would you be saying that if the music wasn't so good? Like if they were playing ads confidently. Part of the, the reason why they're so good, they're confident. Look at it.

The guy's jumping up and down. Okay. This is Oakland. This is not Tennessee. This is not the South. These guys are ripping this stadium up like this would be the fucking South. This is what some people would see. What I'm seeing is the art.

that these people have are that they're imposing their will. This is redneck music. When I was growing up in Jersey and I heard this the first time, I was like, are you crazy? But I listened to it some more and I'm like, wait a second. These motherfuckers got a message. And then I bought Gimme Back my bullets. And that's what my mind almost fucking blew up.

When you first showed me this, I asked you if there were hippies because I was looking at the video. Look at the guy making out with his chick. This is when concerts were fucking $15. for eight bands. But this guys took it back to like a microeconomic type of look. In their minds

they're in a fucking barn in Tennessee rocking for their cousins. There's no explosives, there's nothing fancy. They just rock the fuck out of you. And that state of mind is the art if you see where I'm coming from. And we've discussed it 10,000 times,

but tonight I brought it the war of art. I have read this book maybe 10 times. I bought it one time and I made my notes in here, and I don't like it. It became annoying in case it becomes somebody else's book or they want to read it, and they've got to see stupid notes

or me outlining the whole thing. But it's pretty funny. If you ever get this book, it's not a hard read at all. It's what's hard as sitting down to write. And remember I was telling you guys like what I knew like this guy just breaks it down and what he really talks about if you go to a store and you pick this up. Do you dream about writing the great American novel? Do you regret not finishing your paintings, poems or screenplays?

Do you want to start a business or a charity? Wish you could start dieting or exercising today. Hope to run a marathon someday. If you've answered yes to any of these questions, then you need the war of art. This powerful straight from the hip examination of the internal obstacles to success. This is what I was living through all those years. When I started doing that stuff on MySpace and writing, somebody turned me on to this book. And I fucking cried the first couple times I read this, because this is who I'd been on my life.

and this guy ended up you know this guy is not coming on like he's some fucking big shot right big time author he's coming on he's telling you what he went through and what the number one problem we have

standing in our way people always go you know what judea's biggest problem is he's standing in his own way he has an expression all the time when people say and this book is basically you know hitler wanted to be an artist

At 18, he took his inheritance, 700, Cronin, and moved to Vienna to the living study. He applied to the Academy of Fine Arts and later to the School of Architecture. Ever seen one of Hitler's paintings? Neither have I. Resistance beat him. Call it overstatement, but I'll say it anyway. It was easier for Hitler to start World War II than it was for him to face a blank square of canvas. Holy shit. When did they write this book?

Do you have any? That's crazy. Okay, this is, guys, if you're stuck, you know, listen, guys, I got left back on the seventh grade, I got a GED. I'm not coming on like Anthony Robbins here, but I'll tell you what, this defined a lot of fucking stupid questions I had. You know, enemy is a very good teacher, you know, and it has resistance greatest hits. It defines what we don't do. We simplify it as resistance. The following is a list in no particular order of those activities that must.

most commonly elicit resistance, the pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or creative art, however marginal or unconventional, the launching of an entrepreneurial venture of enterprise for profit or otherwise, any diet or health regimen, any program of spiritual investment, any activity whose aim is to tighten abdominals, any course of program designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction, education of any kind and any act of political, moral, ethical courage, including the decision

to change for the better some unworthy pattern of thought or conduct than ourselves. You know, I sit here with Lee 20 fucking times, and we giggle and we break his balls, but the underlying thing, you know, I went through all this shit, guys.

When I sit here and tell you, no matter what position you're in your life right now, you get yourself out of it, If you don't believe that, stop listen. Stop listening. I talk to people at shows now every week who they'll pull me aside. And I'll go, you know what, man? I had this fucking job.

And I listened and I decided to start playing a band again. And now I have a part-time job. And I played two nights. And it's because I had the balls to take a chance. If not, I would have been stuck the rest of my life. Miserable because at least I didn't give it a try. You got to give it a fucking try. It's 2000 fucking 17

And it ain't getting better That's good Like when you were reading off that list Like the first like four of them Are one that everyone's a deal? No no This is For fucking a year

I sat there And I would try to write a book I wasted a year on this book Since I've been with this guy Gordon And all of a sudden I read this book again Before I shot this special Okay

Before I even started writing the special I read this book And it got my dick heart And then I read it again Before the surgery I read it on days I don't want to go to Jiu-Jitsu I read it on days

I don't want to go to a meeting I'll just pull it out I have two copies of this I got in the travel bag because guys it's listen it's that easy to fucking slip

it's that easy to slip anymore you guys know what I'm fucking talking about I talked to J. Rom I talked to a bunch of fucking guys that are having problems Jay I hope you're not mad of me I know I got nothing but love to you. Let me give some shoutouts real quick, and we'll continue this conversation. Yeah, we're going to cover a couple books this month.

I got the guy who was the undercover cop on the Iceman. We're going to cover a book by Anthony Bruno called the Iceman. I'm going to order it tonight from Amazon. When Steve came on, that's always a great idea, like a book club. Guys, let me tell you something. If you're stuck, you want to get off an addiction, your heart broke, and get yourself a couple books. Get a biography of somebody you admire it.

You know, and if you're broke, go online. They got cheap books online. So what if the back page is ripped? It's the, you know. Do you have a favorite fiction author, or do you not read a lot of fiction? I don't know fiction or nonfiction. Fiction is like made-up stories. You know, I like biographies.

Yeah, I like biographies too. You know, I like the one about the guy who killed Greybow. I don't know what that is, American, whatever, Renegade. I like books like this, the war of art. Anything that could help me? I told you the books that changed my fucking life. You ready? Right.

The War of Art. Got it. The Art of War. The other one by Shenzu. That had like two things in there. I fucking applied to all the time. But the number one book that has helped me the most in my whole life was a book I bought in 1987 called Telephone Sales in the 80s. That was the greatest book I ever read in my life.

It was my Bible. It's because who I'm here today. It really was that great of a book. And I've read Anthony, I went to two Anthony Robbins seminars. I've done a lot of that shit, guys. I'm not going to sit here and tell you, I went to a lot of that shit

because I thought I was crazy. I thought I was fucking crazy. You know, six or seven years after my mom died, you could have sold me a fucking any religion. If Scientology would have got my hand on me, right now, captain of the ship speaking of that just really have you seen that big Scientology building all they're back in the valley oh yeah we'll go fuck with them

oh my let's go fuck with them let's go get on the guy to me to tell him we suck Diff in Chavalt and shit telling me about to vault on an orgy one time if you're sucking a penguin's dick the whole thing yeah they're bringing it back they used to sponsor the the the food trucks oh no Thursday so you go in there and get a sandwich next to you know you got fucking Johnny Scientologist asked me if you want to take an IQ test so I stopped going I won't my daughter when they're embarrassed the shit out of me embarrasses the shit out of me you don't need to bottom

me let me get those shoutouts real quick before I forget did I read them yet no Reese Coke spoon Jeff Collins my main man Matt Balthazar another soldier Nick Bafalusios I love you you you fucking Greek cuck sucker tell these motherfuckers Malacca

Chuck Madden Alex Castino Anthony Guzzo Uki Spooky always and the motherfucking Philly Guggie Guggie Gux and the motherfucking Philly Godfather and Jason Silver. I announced that I'm going to do Atlantic City. The Borgata, July 29th.

We got Magubis in Baltimore, March 16th. And we got Levitney Live and motherfucking Niagara. So I'm having a good time in fucking March. We got Norton coming on. We got people coming on in March. They're going to blow your fucking socks off. But anyway, back to telemarketing in the 80s rocked my world. It taught me all about.

sales broke it down to me how to sell on the phone which I fell in love with there's days I dream about waking up and going to sell shit on the phone and then I'll just call agents and harass them and call managers and harass them try to sell them on different ideas and shit do you still have your copy of that book no I lost it and I thought I thought that you had looked it up and they changed it to telemarketing in the 90s then telemarketing let me check that was the most that book put me over the top you know like other books Cujo put me over the top the bro I read the godfather when it came out I was 10 I read the fucking Godfather when I

was 10 for fun or for school for fun Jesus look before drugs I was a fucking nerd guy I read books and I pictured and I fucking had a telescope you know I was looking for fucking Martians and shit not really But I like to look at stars at night and you're going to find the fucking book. I'm trying to. I'm looking around the room like a fucking. I'm saying if they have, I have a look back at the golden age, successful telephone selling in the 90s. That's the one.

Okay. That's the one. It's a blue cover with a phone caught on it. Let's see. Uh, yeah. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? Well, he didn't update it for 2000. It's a different game out there now.

Yeah, that book changed my fucking life. There were so many books that I used to, before I got online. locked up. I read every book on law. I read books on lawyers. You got to read guys. If you get stuck in your life and your mind ain't right, get yourself a couple books. And you know what? Don't fucking cry to me. It costs nothing to get a library card. You know the most interesting thing? Somebody came up to me this week on a good guy that's come to shows from Denver. He came to like two or three shows with his wife. Cool motherfucker always brings me a gift. I'm sorry I forget his name. I mean a lot of people on the road at the end of two.

shows your stone but he told me that he started writing his goals down and that things change that's amazing that's awesome oh dog shit fucking changes at the speed of lightning I don't want to freak you out but they have successful telephone selling in the 80s on eBay for 399 all right I'll go home and get it tonight that's how strong that book is that book taught me more because it was more of a psychology approach to it instead of a guerrilla approach to it like I read every book on sales there was

you know when I got into shit I got into shit guys even if I was doing blow that's what I would do I do blow and read that's the best time to fucking read when you do blow oh my God when I was on the road from when I was on the road

from 98 to 2003 I probably read I would go to that Barnes and Nobles in every city and I'd buy books that I'd give away, I'd read them. But 90% of those books, I'd read when I was coked up to the gills. Is that maybe why your retention wasn't good? No, my retention would be great because I was coked up. The Adderall was in full effect.

Oh, wow. So I would fucking do a show and plan I'm going back to the room with a gram of blow and a six pack of beer. And I would just sit there and fucking read whatever. Did you ever turn a girl away Because you wanted to read a book or go back and finish a book? Anybody who turns a girl away before because of a book needs a beat It needs for somebody to take them in an alley and say what's wrong?

Which I want to go home and read a book? What are you fucking crazy? I don't know Maybe even bad or really go out. Listen, there was no women I could lie to you. At this time it was some nights I would do blow Read a book and then get all horned up and go out

And try to be evil but who am I going to pick up? I wouldn't pick up nobody. Have you ever like Because I see you just picking up random books sometimes. Like, did you ever pick up one of those, like, CVS fantasy erotic novels and read those? No, no, no, no.

My mom read novellas. Okay. And Juan read novellas growing up. And when I would get really bored, I would go in there and try to read the books in Spanish. So are they, like, legitimate, like, the soap operas, but just written out? Yeah, but Juan read more like cowboy shit. and my mother read more like romance, but I never even saw those again.

I don't even know the fuck she got them, to be honest. As a kid, I read a lot of Reader's Digest. Oh, yeah? I really liked Reader's Digest. One of the best articles I ever read in Reader's Digest was about Jim Valvana. That's why I first read all that fucking stuff like Juicy. It was really good in there. I don't read magazines.

Very seldom do I read magazines. I'm a book guy now. And it's a shame, but I don't have the time to read more books. But I have to be a dad. And I got to pay attention to the podcast. You got to do a lot of stuff. But I'm always reading fucking something. Again, Lalingis, I love you, but you fuck, you curse me.

Because now I got to read 8,000 pages about Jimmy Page. By the time I read that book, I'll be back into fucking stabbing Satanist and, you know, chasing them in the park and shit. What about books on tape? Because I don't know if you do like the eye. iPod, but I can see you all that driving, just getting a bunch of books on tape. And then listening to books are not really. I love to tell you that I wouldn't like it, but I also never tried it. Oh, really?

So I'd be bullshit in you. I'm surprised. My wife does it. No, my wife has the thing that she still reads. I don't, you know, man, I like to hold on to some things. It's definitely different. And I really like when I get a book and I open it to read of the book and like the cover. and when you take the cover off

and you see what the book likes looks like, you know, I like all that shit. It's still, it's like these albums. You know, sometimes we end the podcast. Me and Lee sit here for an hour when I look at the albums. I miss that.

I miss that part of my life, just touching those covers and shit. I'm a nostalgic. It's not like I'm a collector, but like there's a lot of books I read and I take right when I go to the, you know, the place up the corner where you give away books and clothes.

Goodwill. Goodwill. I take all the books. I try to... There's a lot of books I like to keep because maybe I say to myself, I'm going to read it again, and I never fucking read them.

I read this book one that freaked me out. I think about it sometimes. I have no idea what it's called. I don't even think I still have it. But it was this guy who sent somebody a jail cell and had them build it in his base, like build him a cell, and he, like, made himself be put.

in jail for some for some reason he wouldn't tell the guy why he did it but it's just I don't know like there's it's a weird room book affects you for a long time you remember the author anything no I could look it up I might even still have it

but it was just where did you get some books from I was I walked into a bookstore one day who gives you this weird shitly no I walked into a bookstore one day and you know what but I didn't even walk in it was on one of like those carts that was like outside and I just looked

Yeah, it looked interesting. I think it might have been like the last book that I actually ever read. How long ago was that? Six years. Some like that. But you read a lot online. You do a lot of investigative shit. I don't know if you can call reading.

Well, you read when I talk to you about microphones, you go online and you fucking, you love to, God forbid, you don't yelp a fucking hot dog stand somewhere. Oh, well, we're going to go here. Let's yelp the food on the corner. There's a hot dog stand on there. Yeah. Yeah, that's really sad that the extent of my reading is Yelp reviews. But it's, I think that one of the things that really kept me together as fucked up when I was burglarizing and doing drugs,

that I was taking classes, guys. Jesus Christ, what possessed me to stay? And I would pay out of pocket. It's not until I got to see you bold, and I got to continue an education there, that they would start throwing me loans in those days. But not no, not loans, grants. What am I saying? There was no loans.

Grants. Once I got a certain amount of credits, they said, you can apply for grants. So I started applying for the Latino grants and these Cuban grants. I was picking up two, $300 there. There's a whole world of grants you don't really know about. And like I said, I had my man, Mani in Boulder. He was the man with the plan. For the small hundred, he'd get you like $1,000 in grants.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, the 10%. Yeah, I haven't know. I got out of school as quick as I could. I took summer classes when I was interning out here, so I could graduate a semester early. And if you get out of prison, you could look into because there's some campuses that'll tell you that'll allow you,

but they're really blowing smoke up your ass. They'll take your application, but they're not going to give you a shot. I'm not going to lie to you about that. But there's some colleges that don't give a fuck, and they just specialize in that, that they get your aid and everything. They'll even get your money for housing and shit if you get locked up.

And I'm not talking about a skill. I'm talking about going back to college. Getting your GED, you get your GED. They'll take your back in a fucking college, dog. If I did it, you could fucking do it. Just walking there like you were on the spot and tell them the story. I had to quit because I was on drugs. I had to quit because I went to jail.

I had to quit because I knocked up a woman. Tell them the fucking truth on your application. And say you're trying to get your life together and you think this would be a great ending to a great story. You go back to fucking school. Don't give a fuck what they tell you. I really fucking don't. There's one school out there,

and especially now that campuses are online, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, you could do it from home. There was someone who was 40 years old and Paul was law school class. He was doing it online? No, he was doing it. He was going to actual class, but he was 40.

So you can do it whenever. Dog, I don't know what I would do if I could do it. If I had the opportunity to go, two nights a week, like, I'd have to give up the podcast. But see, like, that's, like, and I know you're very busy, but you have the opportunity. You could apply it right now. Listen, Lee, in anybody's world,

you have the opportunity to do whatever the fuck you want. But the longness in the tooth, and, uh, I want to be there for my daughter just in case is always looming over my fucking head. I've worked it out with myself to be out of town, six days a month. That's, my wife is telling me

that she's asking about me more when I go out of town. You know, when I called Sunday, she goes, she already asked a bunch of two times. And I said, please keep her there before the party starts.

Let me see her. And everything was fine. This morning, she was pretty happy and went to the park. I got to pay attention to a week. I fucked up once before. This one,

I got to pay attention to. So it's a bit of, big chunk even if I just sit there with her and play the Moana dolls with her it's the world to her and she'll remember forever you know but I mean pretty soon she's gonna be going to go on school and then yeah she real next year Jesus that's it that's it I gotta make up my mind and the beauty of it is if we stay where we're at we could walk at to school every day and walk back home and be on my fucking quarter and I'm do whatever the fuck you want to do.

Am I petrified? I'm like any parent. I'm petrified for her, but I also think she'll do great. I think she'll do great. I really believe in a, you know, she's... What are you petrified of? Her getting hurt in any way. And she's a little tank, but she's still a little girl, you know.

I enjoy my time at home. I enjoy my time with them. It's something that I have to do as a personal choice lead. It's something I made a big mistake once before. And even though we weren't, I could tell you a thousand stories how it wasn't going to last in the beginning. It was a bad situation.

Yeah, maybe that's true too. But I knew I didn't put the full effort into it. None of want the same to happen again. I like comedy. I like going out there, but I can't go out there. I feel the difference. when I take three planes in a row compared to two planes in a row.

You know, I'm at, that's it. The comedy is the fucking most enjoyable thing I've ever done in my life. Let's face it. It's the plane ride, waiting at the airport for your luggage. You know, you're supposed to land at nine. You land at a quarter of nine,

but the plane coast still fucking 945. I'd rather fly around so I could watch the rest of the fucking movie instead of sitting here. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's what the... It's hectic. Every time you go up and every time you go down, it takes a toll on your system.

You want to rest in between. You want to be hydrated. I drink like 22 bottles of water on them on those planes. Yeah, you go to the bathroom a lot. Oh, I go because I stretch my legs. I do leg raises. I move my neck. I rotate my shoulders.

You know, I've been doing it. So I'm prepared for it, you know. But at the same time, I got to be a father. I got to be a husband. I'm going on a date with my wife Friday night. You know, I got to do it. these things last week when I was here we went to the family dance if I don't do this Lee who is who is I can't do it I'll lose them and over what I was very lucky I had

both parents home my dad works nights a lot but he was home during the day very important yeah it's huge it's very fucking important and it's important to me again I see in today's society and I know for a fact parents got to work Jack Parents got to fucking work. Parents got to work today. Both of them, both of them to make it happen. It cost you from A-N-Z. I look at the fucking bills for her.

You got to work, Jack. You got to work. Just even to cover basic, like housing and food is expensive now. I figured it out like a month ago without the calculator, by the way. And my jaw dropped. And the sneakers for her.

And, you know, I looked at, thank God. that got me and my wife and have a simple dinner schedule Friday we go to McDonald's it's what she likes some Fridays I get chicken nuggets with her

You're not home two Fridays a week Yeah excuse me You're not home two Fridays a month No so the two Fridays I'm home We pick her up and she wants to go to a McDonald We get at the gift box And on fucking Sunday we go to Mama Maria's

It's $40 for all three of us You know and my wife don't go overboard. We cooked during the week. My wife made a beautiful piece of fucking whatever tonight, not salmon. But the other one, halibut. Right. With some corn, you know, I stay in.

I mean, the main concern is the child in her future. You know, I'm thinking about different things now. They offer me some pretty neat stuff on the road. They offer me some feeders on the road. Hell yeah. I'll be talking about it more, you know. Like I said, I'm trying to write. I'm trying to put together a whole new fucking situation here.

I'm on for 420 with Di Agostino and Felicia Michaels for Oxnard. Oh, shit. I'm trying to get my main man Matt Fultron with me at Levity Live, April 20, whatever I'm up there at the end of the month. Theo Vaughan was in Denver this week and thank you very much for the people from the church that went in support of Theo Vaughn. He really did great. He was at the other club and I got him into the country. comedy works and Rick Kern showed up and had a great time with him so if you went to see Theo Vaughn and also I want to thank you guys for supporting the comics that come on to church

I'm hearing great fucking things from Kate Quigley in fact some kids sent me something from Vegas yeah you guys go out and see Greg Fitzsimmons and we get listen it's a beautiful fucking thing comedy everybody was fucking sold out this weekend so if you're into comedy fucking thank you from the bottom of my heart man a little itch over here my nutsec it's not really done that's second to love the fucking thing what are you looking at me all i'm sorry i apologize so yeah we got uh this book will really help you oh i can't wait i'm gonna order it now no i'll let you i want you to read it and in a week give me what you thought okay on monday this is really gonna help you lay this is going to narrow you down you know

it gets a little weird at some points just read through it it's i want you to read about resistance i want you to really get into what the fuck resistance is resistors is invisible and it once you read that and you understand where you how your mind works you know when it broke it down like I said when I read the Anthony Robbins thing a lot of that made sense but a lot of it was repetitive and either it's going to stick or it's not and 30% of the time it don't stick this shit sticks if you look at the right on writing sticks this shit sticks with you And this is, you know, man, I get a thousand fucking emails a day. Thank you.

Dante Gazzini always sends emails. I read his letters. But I got a lot of emails from people on different Gmail accounts and shit. And people are stuck. People are fucking stuck now. Again, bro, get a notebook. Start writing it down. You want to get off those pills?

You want to get off that heroin? You want to get off the blow. It took me a year writing how much I hate in fucking life for me to finally get off the powder. And I know that 20% of it was the shit I was writing in that notebook. I looked at that notebook three years later, and I not just threw it away. A lot of notebooks you just throw away. Okay. I ripped the covers off it, and I cut each page with scissors into tiny things,

because I never wanted anyone to ever read what I went through that year before I quit cocaine. The things that were on that paper were truth. A lot of truth, which isn't pretty. That's like, that's really dark, dude. Like, like, you went, like you made the, you cut every page. Every January I would start. Every January 1, I would get two notebooks because I know I would go through two notebooks, and I would name them that year.

Okay. And in 2007, the year I got off below, I threw that notebook away when I moved to the Valley, which was 2009. And when I read, I was like, maybe I'll keep this. Maybe I'll keep this. Who knows? And when I started reading it, I said, not only do I not want to keep this.

I don't want to see this again, because this was a per, if somebody read this, just by reading this, they give this to the authorities and make them come get me just to do a, like they'd probably take my shoelaces

and fucking put me in a black cell. I swear they got, you're 50, 150 or whatever that is. The shit I was writing that those last eight months before I, that summer, when I was doing heroin. Oh.

The shit I would write at night when I was doing heroin was so sad. Was just my bitter guts of what I thought about myself, why I was doing the drug, you know, and then it got goofier and goofier how I was going to stop snorting coke by doing the heroin. And then when I, and then there was that fucking weekend in November. And if you look at the week before I quit Coke, instead of writing a page and a half,

I was writing like four pages. This is how you remember everything. This is crazy. I never knew you did all this. You have to write when you wake up in the morning and then midday you have to finish the other side of the page and explain how your day went, what your expectations were, what you didn't really do.

If you really stick to this and you keep three years of the time and you look back and you fucking will throw it away, unless you're just like gambling and make a million, or you're in the stock market, but to see the guts what you were writing when you were struggling is something that's I would never publish it.

Even now, I look at, like I'll look at, in July, I'll look at last year's. How honest are you in them? Is it hard to be brutally honest? Do you lie to yourself sometimes? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I'm like, you know,

they're not memoirs, and that's not a diary. with a lock on it. You know what I'm saying? Remember 20 years? People are I writing my diary every day. And then everybody would steal your fucking diary and you crack it. And people would steal your diary and you'd be in there talking about how you like fucking candy canes or something.

No, this is what I wake up in the morning. My morning writing is about what I wake up in the morning. If I'm angry about something, I write it out. And why I should be angered and how it would resolve the situation early in the morning. You ever wake up angry, Lysiah? Yes. This is what you do. Oh, my God.

And it's a lot better if you smoke a joint. This morning, I didn't wake up angry. I woke up really rested. And when I started writing this morning, I went on fire because I don't know why. Once I saw Mercy and I started talking to my wife, I drank some coffee and I was going fucking bananas. But I've been sticking to my writing plan. Six days a week, two paragraphs a day. I've been sticking to it, man.

on its only it just pops up it's the weirdest thing it just pops up now it took me four years of fucking writing to get to this and if you read the war of art

that's what it tells you what do you mean it just pops up to make sure you sit down and write every day it took me four years now now for some reason let boom next thing you know I got one paragraph down

next thing you know I'm blending the two paragraphs together next thing you know I add a third one next thing you know I look at the clock It's 10 to 5. Let me add my sentences for tomorrow. Let me start the outline for tomorrow. And boom, I close the computer and I'm done for the fucking day.

And the next day, I have my day proportion, so I know exactly when I'm going to hit that fucking thing. It's really weird how it doesn't become an addiction, but it becomes an automatic response now. Just because I read that stupid war of art, because I wasn't sitting down. That book forced me to sit down. Stop bullshing yourself.

The only way you're going to learn to write is by writing. The only way you're going to write your goals is by writing your goals every day. So you find a niche in your day and you write at that niche. And all of a sudden you get like, I wouldn't write my book in the morning when I wake up. My head's too fucked up. There's no way. So in the morning I write jokes. That's when my head's fucked up.

That's how I want to write a joke. When it's not really me, it's somebody else that woke up after 22,000 milligrams of edibles and anxiety pill and fucking joints. and I swang a bat and a protein powder. But you're not fighting yourself and trying to write it at 10 p.m. No, I'm not chasing the goat no more. No, no, no, no.

I'm not pulling the weight watches where I'm eating fruit at night to beat the fucking points. You know what I'm saying? None of that shit. That's, I feel like I'm going to get really pissed off with myself when I read this book. Yes.

The time I read it a couple weeks ago, I thought a lot about you when I read this book. Because we all have a lot. But we're lacking something. The reason why we're not where we are is because we're lacking a certain element in our lives. And I'm no better than you guys. This is why I read this shit.

I don't read this shit because I'm king for root. And I'm the smart. I was Fikuna Lum, Lomb, whatever that shit is. What are you, Phi Kondala, whatever, when you're the smartest person in the school? Five beta cap is one. Yeah. Cummale. Cummale.

And Sum, cum laude, whatever. I wasn't any of them. No, I could tell. He probably went to see. fucking bad Santa too that told me a lot about you you fucking Magook I would tell yeah but I'm excited to read it I'm excited to see well do you think I'll make some changes immediately and in the way I run my life you'll be a little guilty I think you'll get a pad and read through some stuff again I think that uh should I take notes or do you think I should

just read it for absolutely take notes okay you're gonna see a lot of shit in there you're gonna go Jesus fucking Christ there's one chapter where he tells you that sometimes you have to be a little angry. You know, some people, the great Bobby Slayton yesterday wrote that Denzel Washington was an asshole, that, you know, what's the name of the host? Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel was hilarious, and Denzel didn't laugh.

You know what, man, that's a deal between kids and men. There's some people who ain't got time to fucking giggle, all right? You want to say something funny and knocked me out of the park, knock me out of the park. but if you want me to sit here and fake giggle, I'm not going to fucking fake giggle. I don't even want to fucking be here. You know what I'm saying?

And that's what he talks about. You have to have a little bit of that anger. He describes his whole writing career and all this shit he went through. I think one of my biggest problems is being assertive, not being assertive enough. And that's, I think that's something I have to fix. Again, I don't think you have any mental problems.

I think you have the problems that a 28-year-old has. that's sick and tired again, kicked in the teeth, you're striving for ideas. You come up with 10 ideas a day, you have 100 ideas a week, and you start none of them. Right, exactly.

And, you know, and we've listened, you're not a failure by no means. That means ugats. That means nothing. You're going to have bad ideas 20 times. I really, really think, and I applaud you,

I've been watching you for five years. and I see what you want to do and I see what you want to want to do and you've mentioned to me how you always thought and you want to be a professional gambling and not something your mom's going to be proud of I mean she can handle the podcast for two more years

but if she finds out about the professional gambling we discussed different types of gambling we discussed that there's a way to gamble and a way to fucking just throw away your money you might as well every time you see somebody give him $200. And the thing that you said it to me a couple weeks ago that that has turned exactly true was that you're not going to get better at it doing it once every six months and in my head I don't I talked about how the podcast

has been doing great I'm making I'm doing great now I'm doing a lot better than it was a couple years ago you cut a lot of waste I haven't had cable in two years no but you cut a lot of the podcast you were doing yeah you weren't getting nowhere so you're more refreshed more you know I get hit up a new company had me up and see if they want to go in business with them if you and I had a different concept for a podcast and I'm like I'm very happy with the church. I'm very happy

looking at deaf leper on the wall. I'm very happy about fucking playing music with you. I don't think I should start another fucking podcast. I'm very happy with doing two podcasts a week and that's the way it fucking goes. You know what I feel it? It's just crazy. Yeah, read that book

and next Monday we'll talk about it on next Wednesday when Chris Heron calls on the show next March 8th. I had a 30-30 about addiction. If you have an addiction right now, you better watch this fucking Chris Heron 30-for-30. I know it's on ESPN.com or something. They got to have it on there on that 30-for-30

or when it's on YouTube. Before next Wednesday, make sure you watch the Chris Heron one. This guy was a bad, motherfucking-ass white basketball player. I mean, Larry Bird type shit that smoked his fucking fingers. You know, the same story you've heard 20,000 times.

But what he's doing now, I admire these guys, these guys that go clean. Listen, yeah, I don't do the fucking craziness no more. I'll eat one of those Larry pills from time to time. I'll smoke a little to do. It's a little edible. But God, I knock on wood every fucking day that I'm not putting that white shit in my nose or eating bada booms and anxiety pills and chase. No, no, no, no, no, no.

And it all starts with this book, guys. The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield. I don't care if you're fucking drinking battery acid. Read this book for me, all right? And you'll be fucking tweeting me in a year going, Joey, I'm not doing that shit no more because of this stupid fucking book. How many pages is it only?

And again, guys, I don't even know who Stephen Pressfield is. I never met him. Rogan had him on the podcast. Two of the great podcasts. Guy, you know, he wrote his experiences and how you could become a better fucking that, but what stops us from going to where we're trying to get? What's the say it cost?

162 pages and it costs 1295, 1895 if you're in Canada. 1295 to change your whole life. I don't make a dime on this, guys. I just, you know, I'm not sick and tired. I'm really concerned of all the emails I get with people not knowing their next move or what's stopping them. This is it. This is it.

fuckly what the fuck league so yeah I'm not doing dick this week I'm doing the show Thursday at the store tomorrow night I think I'm gonna go to a Laker game for the first time in fucking six years somebody invited me this time I get out of the house like I said guys you know how social fucking awkward I am but tomorrow and I'm gonna do something that I haven't done in years I'm gonna go to a basketball game holy fucking shit I can't believe I put myself in this situation I got to meet downtown at six o'clock. So I'm going to Uber

Lee. You're going to Uber me a fucking thing. I tried to call my man. He never hit me back. I don't know what the fuck's going on. That Armenian's always on point and shit. And that's it, man. Let me talk to you people about something very, very important.

I opened up my underwear the other day. I opened up my underwear draw. And there was one pair of blue shorts, like blue gym shorts, as you would call them. and everything else was me undies. I couldn't believe that there wasn't a pair of white underwear no more. It was all me undie, whatever the big sizes, and I got red ones.

They sent me to Valentine's Day one. I got fucking Christmas ones. I got to give Lee a couple. I always forget and I put them on. I don't want to give Lee used underweight. I appreciate that. But I got to tell you something. The more and more I wear those things,

the more and more I like them. I wouldn't even take underwear on the road with me. I take three pair of Mionis. And I only wear like two of them. I wear one day and a half at the gym because ball sweats, ball sweat. Who gives a fuck when you're on the road? But I'll tell you what I like about them.

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Go to Meondes.com slash Joey and get 20% off your first order or just subscribe. All right. Number two. Every time I come in here, I look at that watch Lee has and I go, Lee is a bad motherfucker. Lee,

to me about this watch. You still love it. I love it. First of all, I mean, you've had it for, I don't know, since Christmas. Yeah, at least. No problems. No, no problems. It's still running great. It's, I really like the design. It's really lightweight, like you said, about the Miondi's. It doesn't, I've had a lot of bigger watches that feel really clunky, and it hurts

your wrist after a while, and so you don't wear them. This is really comfortable, and it's, it's just, I love it. Let me talk to you about it, MVMT watches, all right? pronounce the movement was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank right this is what I've been telling you for years right you want to go to a Chinese restaurant

they got the lunch special 595 and you got a diet soda that's that's breaking the bag right there it's a beautiful deal the watchmaker's goal is to change the very the way consumers think about fashion by offering high quality minimalistic products at revolutionary prices with over one million watches sold to customers in 166,000

countries around the world. MBMT watches has solidified itself as one of the world's fastest growing watch companies. All right? Listen, you know how we started this podcast? It started five years ago. We were getting what, 3,000 downloads. Nobody wanted to talk

to us. Nobody invited us nothing. And now we rock and roll with the best. That's the same way they did with this watch company. Movement watches started $95. At the department store, the same watch, you're looking at four to five 500 bucks. Movement figured out that by selling online they were able to cut out the middleman

like everybody's doing now and the retail market providing the best possible price. Classic design, quality construction, style minimalism. Over 1 million watches sold in 160 countries. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. Get 15% off today. MVMT with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmtwatches.com slash church. Break it down, Lee, C-H-U-R-C-H. These watches are really having a nice, clean design. I'm telling you, Lee has been getting compliments. I see how he is around the bitches.

It's a badass watch. It looks good on him. Now it's time to step up your watch game. Go to mvmtwatchers.com slash church. Listen to me. Again, Father's Day is coming. Go to mvm-twatches. dot com slash church he's got to love it all right st patty's coming you know you want to give you a

husband or your wife or watch this is the watch for you mbmtt dot com slash church mbmt watches mbmt watches dot com all right we'll be back wednesday you know i love you motherfuckers with all my heart don't forget mcgubes baltimore march 16th the day before st patty's and then you got levity live the last week of the month all right Right guys, I love you. We'll be back on Wednesday ready to fucking rock. Stay blackish.