The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #462 - Chris Herren and Jayson Thibault

Episode Date: March 9, 2017

Chris Herren, former NBA player, the focus of the ESPN 30 For 30 "Unguarded," and head of The Herren Project, calls in to talk with Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt and guest Jayson Thibault, comedian and host of the "Punch Drunk Sports Podcast," about his journey from the NBA to homeless, and how he turned his life around. This podcast is brought to you by:   Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.    Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 03/08/2017.
  

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Uncle Joey, Lysayat, Chris Heron, and my main man. Jason Tebow, Real. Remember when this album came out? Fucking tremendous. This jam kicked it up to dick. Lights out. Like this meal, Lee. Kick this meal league.

getting it on and they ain't leaving till six in the morning so what you want to do shit i got a pocket full of ruffers and my home boys do too so turn off the lights and close the dose but for what we don't know them hard yeah so we don't smoke an ounce to this jeans up holes down why you oh shit here we go cop-suckers what lady bad Lay back. Oh shit.

That's as good as it fucking gets, Jack. We've been freaking today with the early rap shit. This came out like in 93. Something like that. Yeah, early 90s. We had Biggie on the first album. Jesus Christ, Almighty. What's happening?

You bad motherfuckers, welcome to the podcast. Ville. Uncle Joey's here tonight. My man Tebow was supposed to get a call. But what's happening, gentlemen? anything good. I just wanted to wish you a happy International Women's Day, Joe. Oh, thank you. I know you've been talking about it all

all day. Oh, fuck. I couldn't wait. I couldn't fucking wait. I should have got you a card. Oh, please. Did you guys march or anything? Not much of a march. You know, it's crazy because on these days, I usually go eat just to see if any waitresses show up. They're all there. Yeah. They're all Spanish, fucking Armenian. They're there. Everybody,

that's got, that's International Women's Day for people. I got a husband and paying bills and shit. What does it even mean? What does the internet Who the fuck knows anymore? Who the fuck knows anymore? I wish them their good day They have this moment in the sun

They go out there and parade They talk bad about whoever And what are you gonna do? Everybody's happy at the end But you gotta cheer them on I have a daughter You gotta cheer them on you know? If this is what makes them feel better

Then fuck it go out there You know, we're assholes, right? We got all excited on the Super Bowl I got lesbian moms, a sister I didn't hear a shit about this They don't give a fuck They don't give a fuck They're like international what

Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? Two lesbians, playing Maracas walking down the street. You know what I'm saying? Fuck that shit. Hit the tambourine. But everybody's got a cause.

Everybody's got a purpose. So God bless him for even fucking being involved. I saw it 30-30 about a month ago. I was in my house just sitting there. And what was it called? ESPN show. Ungarded. Unguarded.

I just saw unguarded. And I figured it could be fighting or basketball. And I put the fucking thing on. It's this fucking white kid from Boston. just killing motherfuckers in basketball. My style of hoop, taking it to the hoop, challenging bishops, fucking around the back moves, passes, just nothing but hard. It's a different type of game.

And he ends up going to Fresno State, and I guess while he's at Fresno State, there's a couple of fucking rumors about his drug use. I don't exactly know what the deal is. He doesn't go high. I think this guy's great. He goes somewhere, and he rips it up for a while, but he's eating pills. He meets his dealer. Yeah, it was really interesting because he had, like, he had these issues.

He went to Boston College first. Like, first he went to BC, had issues there. And then when he went to the NBA after Fresno State, he had these two veterans who wouldn't, who, like, he said, took him out every night of the year. And he was, he was sober, like, his entire rookie year in the NBA. So it was his best year ever. And the part that really took me about this document, because this documentary, I love. I love everything about it. I love everything about it.

It makes me think of Boston. And the one thing that his brother says in there is fuck the Celtics, because it was 10 minutes from where he grew up. I don't know exactly how long, but it was right where he grew up. He knew everybody. And to hear them say that when they're so, everything about Boston and about these people is go team and hometown. And just to hear them say, like, that ruined his life.

You know, playing at fucking home is tough. It's tough. Doing anything. at home always sounds good on paper till a week before the fucking gig. Yeah, right. Then you have to disconnect your phone and you've got to stop because, and it's distractions.

They don't understand it. They don't know that in that world, you know, when you call me and go, whenever I go get tickets, you're a fucking adult. Right. You know, you go down to the fucking box office and you go buy the fucking tickets. It's that easy.

You know, where do I stay? Where do I park? Do I live in fucking Cleveland? Right. I don't fucking know. I don't know. You're fucking park close to you know They that's

Well I'm not from Cleveland but I'm just saying that Usually people ask you that shit Like where do I park around the club? Are you, you live in Ohio? Yeah And what the fuck you're asking me for? How about a parking spot? I go there six days out of fucking 365 days

I don't even I don't even know what the parking fucking meters are I don't know nothing Right But when I go to Jersey it's like Oh they act like I go there every weekend

Right Like we're having this party in Fairfield Listen I don't know where a fairfew this right yeah take the 440 to the 820 I don't know none of these things I know the four or five and the 101 and I avoid them like the fucking place okay so my mistake today you oh no it's a fucking now where do you live like Hollywood like Santa Monica Western neck of the woods yeah that's deep in the fucking murky so like east Hollywood but to you

when you factor that I to come do this podcast it's about six miles away 50 minutes to go six miles when I got in the Uber I was like you gotta be kidding me it's It's so close, you know? And you're just sitting, I mean, when they built these freeways, they just thought they'll never be too many cars for these 10 lanes. Well, this is not only here. This traffic exists all over the fucking country. I went to Texas recently.

They had traffic, not just traffic, traffic. You know, New York City, I said it a thousand times. I can leave Seacucus, New Jersey, at 10 to 8 in 1993, and be in the city by 5F to 8, in the fucking city on 20th street and fucking 8th Avenue 15 minutes 15 minutes

Not anymore Not any more bitch Not any fucking more You know And it's a It drives me crazy Like especially in Los Angeles When people go

Yeah let's meet How about 430 At 4th Street in Santa Monica And you're like listen I got bad news for you So that's never gonna fucking happen And I like when After a month that I know them

They go to me I live in the valley And you're like Then just meet me for an early breakfast Right in the valley why are we both staying here until four fucking dirty you know it's like people think that uh and this is no line these guys will sit here a couple weeks ago somebody called me hey would you help me pitch yeah i'll go down and help me pitch the show you know again i agree and all of a sudden i get a week later it's 430

on third in san lanka like MTV studios or some shit right away you know you're dead well you know that it's like okay so it's at what 330 that's an hour in hour out No, no, it's an hour 15 in there, 4.30 and three hours out, because if you're on fucking Wilshire, you still got to get to that 405 entrance, and that moves like the dog, I was at one life for an hour. I was at the same light for an hour. I brought two joints, you know, I got serious radio, you return calls, you do all that shit, but it was an hour. And I could get mad, but there's no reason to get mad. There's nothing you could do. Then you get on that fucking 405, I don't have to tell you.

The 405 tomorrow I got to go to acupuncture I got to be a Marina del Rey at 12 That's the best time to go And even then it's packed Me I get the crib And I put one of my daughters teddy beds in that Motherfuck and I wrap it up and I put a blanket on it Like it's a baby

And I get in that HOV lane Like I'm president of Obama Do you really? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I had a guy used to work with who would just put a sweatshirt On the back of the seat and then recline it Because he was coming in at 8 in the morning They just assumed someone was sleeping No no no no

I can have time for that shit. And if you got, listen, I don't have time for that shit no more. I really don't. I lived here 20 years. I paid my dues. All those commercials at Bundy, at 515 to walk in and say hello and get back in your car. Now, you're in hell. Like Pico Bundy right here.

You're in hell. People, when I tell you you're in hell, you're in hell. When my agents call me and they tell me they want to meet me at 4.30, I just don't touch Hollywood that week. I don't get, I can't go to high. Hollywood. I cannot go to Hollywood. And I do not touch Hollywood and I only go, like tomorrow, I got to go down there for dinner. I leave

my house at a quarter of the six. I get down to where we have to meet at seven. I got a spot at nine anyway. Right. That's how you do it. You got to lump it. Yeah, I lump it altogether. If I'm going to be in this neighborhood, let me knock out all this shit. I got to do it. I called the doctor the other day. 830 appointment. That means I'm out of that by 9.30.

I run over, get some breakfast because he checks my blood pressure. He takes some blood, I go over, I sit at that fucking place where Jacks Teller used to go to breakfast 10 years ago and eat that place, Lulu's on whatever, and I fucking, from there, I go meet this guy, I go meet

that guy, but the boundary is 1 o'clock. You got to 1 o'clock, because at 1 o'clock, I'm shooting right over Laurel Canyon, and that's even bad already. From 4 to 9. You're dead. From 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. And people, I know, you're listening to this going,

And Joey D. Why you want, no, it's time. It's not about whining. It's about time. Yep. It really is about time. And let me tell you, some, this nights I get home and I'm watching the news and all and then they go, go to the 170, you know, track the trailer pulled over. These people have been in traffic for a week, an hour and a half.

You think of all these people who've worked hard all day and they've got to get home to help their kid with homework. God knows you're starving. You got to pee. A little of a sudden, some fucking track the trailer pool, you know, it just never ends here. And two weeks ago, my friend was stuck for two hours, lives in Burbank, all for fucking Barham. Damon, the truck, remember the day the guy wanted to kill himself. Oh, right.

On Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They shut everything down. The guy was going to threaten to jump the bridge. Listen, at 2 o'clock, that shit works. I'll come over. I'll send the psych. At 5 o'clock, you got to shit.

I'll get off the pot guy. Either jump off the bridge or we're going to shoot you in the fucking head. And then you're fucking disease right now. You have a small window. Yeah, you got a small window. Kill yourself already. You're fucking with people on Hollywood Boulevard in the 101. That week was also the week there's a stupid premiere.

Again, when there's a premiere in Hollywood, it's like on fucking... Highland, Highland. So they close from Highland to fucking Fairfax and the other way guys. So here you are. You have plans just to zip into something. And all of a sudden there's a fucking detour that sends you way back a mile But not only you, everybody. So now you're there for a fucking hour and a half.

It is something that after a while you go, I'm not doing this, no. Like I've cut meetings. I've cut, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I go to Jiu-Jitza at that time. I heard a thing that the population of Santa Monica, the city of Santa Monica, doubles from 9 to 5 Monday to Friday. Easily. That's where all the TV was. That's where 90% of my TV jobs were.

And the frustrating part about that is there's a lot of people who work at night. So you think, oh, it's going to be great. I'll skip the traffic. No. They close down the entire, there's always construction on the 405, but there's never any construction workers. I don't know who's there. They put cones out and they leave. And then the best part is, like, it's nice.

Sometimes they only close down two lanes, three lanes. I've had it happen before where they close the entire freeway. And then imagine it might not be a lot of people, but all those people just on Sepulveda, Trying to go over the hill. I've had to take an hour at 2 in the morning before. And then my favorite time I year with you, Joey, and you're not a mean person. But you get so much joy calling me around Christmas when there's delays at airports, just because you won't go there anymore. I won't go there.

I got it down to a science. After November 10th, there's no flying to the east. To win. November 10th, you go, no flying. No flying to the East Coast. Tempe. After New Year's, then you're back. After New Year's, two weeks.

Okay. After these assholes all get home, the jingle jangle stops, the drama stops, then I start flying again. Let the fucking airport people take a breather. Let them, it's a beating. They've got a beaten over the fucking holidays. Horrible. I sit there every night calling Leah Fartre.

He go, look at those fucking maggots at the airport. Look at those maggots. Look at them. How stupid can you fucking be? Every year. Right. People are stranded. They're at the airport.

I don't know what's going to happen. The computer went down. Go fuck yourself. That's just going to happen. You're on a military cart. night. Next is some fat fuck like me, snoring with sleep apnea, scratching his nuts, farting all night. That's what you get for

fucking flying over the holidays. After November 10th, there was not one plane going fucking eastbound for me. I don't give a fuck what story you got. Now, will you fly west coast? Like, would you fly to... Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, Sacramento. I do all that. Yeah, that's what I

do that. Okay, look at my schedule. You ain't crossing the Mississippi. New York, the first week of November, and it's over. I revine. Sacramento, the first week of December, Portland, the last week of December, when fucking, right through the two days before New Year, let somebody else work New Year's.

I don't want to work New Year's. New Year's I work close to the house, 8 o'clock show, I'm home by 10ying grace with my wife at midnight. Right. I don't want to bother nobody. That was the last fucking New Year's I worked. You're petting a cat.

You're petting cat. Yeah, 10 o'clock. No moss. It's over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a 730 show with Uncle Joey. You can let loose a 10 go home and give your wife a stabbing and be in bed by midnight.

Nobody gets their feelings there. Right. I'm too old to be out there fucking 11.30 cutting down people. Fuck you. Exactly. Two weeks in January, then I start flying. The plane tickets go down drastically. Of course.

So that's when I go to Buffalo. I go everywhere cold. They got nothing else to do but comes to your uncle junk. You follow me? So, yeah. Imagine if it was sunny, I'd still love to see you. It's fucking. That's why you don't go out in the summer that much.

Not in the summer, but in the spring, that's when it's bad. Because people can finally get outdoors. But, like, fucking. The spring is good, but the summer, people go on vacation. They go camping and you want to scratch their pussies, so I don't blame more. And do outdoor shit. They don't want to do outdoor shit. They've been stuck inside for seven months.

How's the sobriety doing? Good, man, good. Straight and narrow. Yep. Feeling good. What's that? Feeling good. Feeling good.

It's, you know, it's always a struggle for anybody. And, you know, we were watching a little bit of this documentary before where you're like, you know, it doesn't discriminate. You know, we're looking at this guy in the NBA and he had everything going for him, but it's like, dude, it doesn't matter. You know, you could be rich, poor, black, white, Puerto Rican, Mexican, man, woman, straight, gay, like, you know, it doesn't discriminate. You know, it doesn't discriminate. You know, it's like, you, I just got to be about today. And when I can do that, I'm good.

When I start, you know, I said this before that, I mean when I first, the first, my first run at getting sober, I was sober for like three years. I remember day one or day two I'm sitting there thinking like this How am I not going to drink At my daughter's wedding I ain't got a daughter I ain't got a wife If I knock some bitch up

At the end of that AA meeting I'm freaking out about 22 years in the future You know what I mean? It's like ridiculous It's a ridiculous concept But that's you know But if I can just be like Dog I'm just not drinking on Wednesday

It's Wednesday I'm cool today And then I'm good Then I'm good, man. It's crazy how you, we were reading a book called Ward of War and a Ward Art of War by Stephen Press for. And he talks about a thing called Resistance. Yep, I read the book several times. Joe Rogan gave me the book. And the funny, funny thing about the book is that there's resistance, then there's drug resistance.

And Lee Syaf, you've never had a conversation with Mr. Drug Resistance. Mr. Drug Resistance is the guy who talks you out of paying the rent. He's the guy who talks you out of eating. He's the guy that talks you out of stealing your girlfriend's engagement ring and pointing it. That's that guy. That's a different fucking animal. That's the guy that says, you know what? Get that ounce of Coke, front it, go sell a quarter, get $500 and snort it with that girl and eat her ass and create a crazy.

You see, that's a complete different resistance. That's the one, you know, I was talking to Timmy Holloway last night when we're talking about the mind of an addict, you know. People go, oh, you improved since you stopped doing coke. Sure, because you cut out 40% of your mind input on how you're going to get high. Mm-hmm. Oh, here we go. Mr. Chris Herron.

Yo. Joe Dears. You're a savage. What's up, brother? How are you, sir? I'm good. I'm good. Thank you very much for taking the time.

I will not take a lot of your time. I was telling these guys, I'm sitting at home one night, and there's a thing called Unguarded. I'm sitting there with my wife. She's from Tennessee basketball. You know, I went to five-star basketball camp back in the 80s. I love basketball. And, you know, I'm from Jersey,

and I'm from the white part of Jersey, but they really get down. You've got to go to Camden and fucking Jersey City and all that. And I'm watching your first. footage and I'm fucking drooling right I'm just fucking drooling all over myself like I'm like who is this kid I mean you were taking it to the hoop like you didn't give a fuck and I'm looking at your flat yeah I'm looking at Fresno straight career and the whole thing but you said something that I'm a comedian of 26 years and you had me dying for 10 minutes about that you stole the car

and you did the meth and you were driving around seeing people and finally the cops Paul Jove and you said thank God you guys are here there's been guys chasing me chasing me I had dogs barking at me I had everything there was nobody there's a scary drug man you are one of the best motivational speakers for what we need today you're the best like you said I don't give a fuck about this or that I'm gonna tell you my nightmare that is just just beautiful I mean Thank you. What you're doing.

I was, you know, I've been 10 years off of Coke November 8 this year. Since I was 16, you know, I went to prison, kidnapping, machine gun, aggravated robbery, came out. We were talking about drug resistance, how you tell yourself, you're only going to get high once a week. And I went from 32, 44. Good luck, yeah. Yeah, good luck. I went from 32 to 44 saying to myself, I'm a function. addict, I'll be fine.

I'm just going to do an eight ball a night. Nobody will know. And here we are, and I watch your thing, and I'm just blown away, brother. I appreciate it, brother. You are an inspiration and a half. These motherfuckers don't know. You know, I'm sitting here going, how was a Boston Celtic

on a corner in Sacramento? Sacramento, I was in Modesto, running down the highway in Madesto. Never mind, Sacramento. What about Modesto? I was on my way to pick up my kids. Thank God I never made it. You know?

The flip side to that story is, you know, my kids were flying in from Boston to come see me, to come move out. And here's my wife, here's my two kids, all excited, you know, and to see their dad for the first time. a while and I'm supposed to be at the airport with you know with presents and flowers for my wife and they get off the plane and I'm nowhere to be found they sat in front of that airport for hours waiting for me to pick them up and I never showed and I'll never ever get that back you know I'll never be able to erase that memory out of their head how are you with your family today?

Huh? You're good with your family today because towards the end. Oh. You talk about your son and... My son's a little stud. He's 17. We just went and visited Yale the other day.

Mm-hmm. You know, my daughter, she's 15. She's, she's the best. She's my ace in the deck. You know, and my youngest, who's grown up in a sober house is a complete savage. So, you know,

We're good. We're really good. And how great is your fucking wife, Doug? You could shoot her in the head and the bullet would go around her. I mean, she is a saint. Yes, he is. She is a saint. She hung on for dear life.

And, you know, but the thing is, my wife knew me before drugs took me. And, you know, she knew who I was deep down inside. You know, a lot of us, you know, we go on that road and it changes us. and there's people who knew us before we were on that side of the street. And, you know, they want us back on the other side. And she waited until I found my way back. And, you know, I'm lucky for that. But I tell that, I tell that Modesto story.

I tell that story about being on meth for five days and seeing people and hearing dogs fucking at me. Because, you know, you get sober and eight and a half years sober, I look back on that. And I see my kids on that sidewalk at the airport. You know, I see him waiting there for me, but, you know, at eight and a half year sober, you thank God, you never made it. You know, I would have horrified those kids if they got in the car with him. You know, it would have been ten times worse if I was there to pick them up. Now, you're from Boston? Are you Irish, brother?

Oh, yeah. Irish Catholic to the end? I'm from Fall River. I'm from Fall River. Yeah. Yeah, you can't say Boston. I'm from Far River. People will be all over me right now.

No worries. Now your family's, I mean, four overdoses, Chris, you wake up in the morning just like me and you look up and you go, God, thank you for another fucking day. And we really mean it from our hearts. Yeah. I mean, you think about it, right? I mean, listen, for eight years I shot heroin, right? I spent $25,000 a month on Oxycontin when I was playing professional basketball. I was taking 1,600 milligrams a day of 80, 80 Cs.

I chased death and paid for it every single morning for 10 years straight chase death for a feeling man that's what we do that's how sad we are that's how sick we get that story about you and the dealer coming to the fucking Boston Garden my jaw dropped and I've done everything

I don't give a fuck and my jaw dropped yeah you can't I mean what am I going to do I can't play in the game if he doesn't come I can't play There's no doubt about it. My body's not going to respond. Now, listen, I've walked into arenas in college, you know, after being up for 18 hours doing coke all night, you know.

But there's no feeling, you know, like coming off opiate. There's no feeling when your body starts closing down and shutting down because, and breaking down because, you know, you don't have 1,600 milligrams of oxies in your system. I've never woken up in an ambulance. Chris, I admire you from all angles because so much has happened. I mean, waking up in an ambulance, are you fucking kidding me?

I would, I can't see needles, so I would automatically. That's the only reason I never shot dope, Chris. I snorted it. I never shot it because I couldn't, I can't see needles. Yeah, I mean, there's a time of my life, I couldn't see them either. You know, I mean, there's a time in my life I used to look away when I'd get physicals. and I hold the nurse's hand and I'd let the doctor do it.

You know, then all of a sudden I became a doctor. You know, I became the doctor. I became the professional. I became the nurse, you know, and I never saw it happen to neither. It came from out of nowhere. But once it happened, there was no going back. Chris, can you talk about the story about falling asleep behind a 7-Eleven? Because that just, to walk out of the hospital,

if I'm remembering the story correctly, get a soda, and then just to fall asleep. Like, I would never think to just sit down and fall asleep. Like, that's, what were you going through at that time? So, I had been up for four or five days, and when the medesco pleads found me on the highway, you know, obviously I was hallucinating. I was in sleep deprivation.

My heart was toned from my chest. So before they took me to the Modesto County Jail, they brought me to the hospital to take blood, as well as shoot me up with a bunch of Benadro and drugs to control my heart rate and calm me down. So I spent the night in jail, Modesto, and I walked out the next morning, and I'm walking down the street, and I got nothing, you know,

and I got like 10 bucks in my pocket You know I know I'm sober enough To know right now What I did to my family Uh

And I'm just wandering In the street to Modesto And I uh I walked into a 7-Eleven I bought a soda And I walked behind it And I was still drowsy From the medication

But I said fuck it I'll sleep here You know I mean I can't go home I can't look at my kids dies, you know, what are they going to say to me when my son looks at me and says,

Daddy, how come you're going to get me at the airport? You know, um, so I slept there and I was, I woke up two homeless men, they woke me up and they thought I was dead. They started like, happening on me, like, are you okay? And I woke up and, and I got up with them and I started walking around with them and we sat outside a little liquor store and we started drinking and, uh, you know, I told them, I told them my story and they were like, you gotta go home, dude. You know, you gotta go back.

And I got back. But, yeah, I mean, I've been in worse situations and behind a 7-Eleven, you know. But, you know, that was a pivotal moment in my life and my family's life because, you know, if those two homeless dudes didn't tell me, hey, man, you know, don't spend that last. That's $2. Go to the pay phone. You know, don't drink that beer. You know, call, call and get it right out of you.

What a godsend. I don't know. You never know where you'd be. What's your life like today, my brother, eight and a half of you sober? You saw, like me, I, when we're high, we're looking for a rainbow. But once we get sober, we see the fucking rainbow finally. Yeah. How's your life today?

brother. It's good, man. It's good. It's the greatest gift I've ever been giving. You know, my recovery is the greatest gift I've been able to give, you know. For the last eight and a half years, I've been the same father. And there's no better feeling in the world than being the same dad 24-7. Knowing where I came from and knowing the person that I was eight and a half years ago.

To be the same father, to walk in the house. to eight and a half years straight. That's all the kids want, man. You know, I grew up in a house. My dad was an alcoholic. You know, when you grow up in a house like that, you never know who's coming home. You never know what mom and dad are going to be like.

You never know what's going to happen, what's going to jump off at dinner, how things are going to, how things can take a terrible turn in a matter of a second. My kids don't have that in their life anymore. You know, I'm not stealing their Xbox. I'm not taking their Christmas gifts. I'm not returning birthday presents.

You know, I mean, I did all the dirt. You know, all the dirt you can think of, I did it. I'm not proud of it. But I wake up every single day, and every single day I commit to staying sober. And I know when I go to bed at night, that's one day further away from the worst day that my kids remember. and that's what it's about. Chris Harron, they don't even make them like you anymore, dog. We live in the land of you faced it, took it by the balls, and here we are, man.

Like I said, I watch a lot of, you know, I do comedy at night, I get home, I unwind with those 30 for 30s. Billy Corbyn has been on this show a few times. That was one of the best 30 for 30s, if not the best one I've seen. Not as much as just what, looking at your, eyes brother looking I could see your fucking soul when you were talking and I'm a street guy like you you know like I told you I used to live in a rocket ship in North Bergen New Jersey at the park I'd wake up the kids yelling at me get up

your fat fuck so I've been there man and what you did is tremendous I loved the family support you had your wife like I said I'm thinking of sending a two dozen roses out of respect because they don't even make them like that no more either these broads today You give them chlamydia and they split. You know what I'm saying? This wife of yours is a tank. Send them my love.

And if you ever come to California, please look us up. I'd love to buy your debt and bring you on the show, man. And, you know, Jason Tebow's here. He hosts a sports podcast on Tuesdays. He's in the program. That's why I had him here in 10 minutes before you called. He said the same thing about committing to the day.

Today, who gives a fuck about Tuesday next week? I can't even think about tomorrow. I was saying yesterday I was saying that I was at a speaking at a meeting and I was saying that here's what addiction and alcoholism looks like in my head. I will spin out mentally

about not having something to spin out about. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like everything's fine and that causes me to spin out because everything can't be fine. You know? How many meetings do you go to a day now, Chris? Huh?

Do you go to meetings every day? Are you avid? Yeah, I mean, I can't say, you know, I'd be lying if I did. If I told you, I did because I travel so much. I do about 250 events a year. Wow. So I'm on the road a lot, you know, like right now I'm in a hotel in West Virginia. You know, where, you know, I'm meeting kids who come up to me and they're crying.

And, you know, they've been molested by. their dad, you know, they're being raised by their grandparents, brothers in jail because they raped the sister, you know, like a lot of pain, man, a lot of pain doing this and talking about this. You know, a lot of people open up to you when you're willing to share it. You know, it's not an easy thing talking about it, but it's a necessary thing because it inspires people to tell their story. And I think we all have a story

And there's nothing wrong with it You know, there's nothing wrong with it If you embrace it And, uh, and fight it. Um, you know, people often ask me like, do I miss basketball? Uh, you know, do I miss playing the game? And, and I wake up every fucking day

playing the biggest game of my life, man. Every day I wake up and I got the biggest game of my life I got a performer. And that's, staying sober man so I work my ass off to keep it I travel with sober people I surround myself with sober people I hang out with sober people that's who my network of people are you know so um I go to meetings uh you know I have a sponsor I do my service work you know I collect my chips I give out chips I'll make coffee I'll set up the chairs I'll do

whatever it is to keep what I have man it's uh it's a it's a blessing and it's because of people who did it before me. You know, I mean, if it wasn't for them, there'd be no program. So I remember I'm, I embrace it. I remember going off the deep in an 85 fucking just living in a park, the whole thing, and a school teacher took me to a meeting. And I sat there just like you at 21, thinking I had the world by the balls in, like, Newark, New Jersey at a real fucking AA meeting.

And sitting there going, listen to this 35-year-old, and lose it, you know? Right. And not paying attention thinking I knew all the rules. And the reason why I fell in love with you is because there's a lot of people on, you know, we cover addiction on here of pills and stuff. And I never heard it put the way you put it. And I wish that they get something out of you just in case they didn't see your documentary.

I don't know any good thing about you because you blew my mind, brother. Yeah, no, it's, you know, it's something, listen, I'm proud of my recovery. I really am. Like, I embrace the shit out of it. Like, you know, I can look back on all the things I accomplished in my life, and there is no greater accomplishment than what I have today. You know, and I love it, and it's something that I'm all in on, man. Like, you know, I'm on, you know, I'm on the front lines of this with kids.

And, you know, this little girl stood up in my assembly the other day, and she said, you know, Mr. Heron, I want to thank you. you for coming to my school. I wish my mom got what you have. You know, my mom just went to prison for 14 years because she was selling me on the internet from the age of 8 to 13. You know, when you meet a little girl

whose mom was dropping off at motel room for five years to support her addiction, you know, like, you're in the thick of it. But for that little girl to say that out loud in front of a whole high school, Um, you know, that's a moment. That's a moment where, you know, it's her first step, you know, towards talking about it and, and owning it. Um, so, you know, when I, when I did this documentary, what's, what's really crazy about it is, um, you know, my, we, we, we, we, we, we, you know, we had the EBT card.

My family, my kids, my wife, you know, we went from the Celtics to food stamps. And when I started that documentary, I didn't even know there was such thing as Netflix. I didn't even have an idea. Like, I didn't even know what iTunes was. I had a flip phone. I thought the documentary would play one night and it'd be over. You know, I had no idea how long it would last and how many times it would be played and how many people would download it and how many treatment centers and prisons it would play in.

but it's the best thing that ever happened, man. You know, because if someone can watch that and really connect with it, that's what it's all about. Is there a web page where people could contact you anything, Chris? Yeah, so I thought of the foundation, right? If it wasn't for Chris Mullen, I wouldn't be here. Chris Mullen is what's Liz.

Oh, shit. Yeah. They put me in treatment. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. And when I got sober, I said to myself, I could only give somebody what the mullin gave me. So I started the Heron Projects, right? And me and my wife used to put a little money aside,

and we paid with people sober houses. And then the more people that reached out to me, I said, I got to raise money for this. And so over the last five years, we've put 1,500 people in treatment. You know, we've put 900 people in sober houses. We have online support groups of family who's lost loved ones. You know, we have online support groups of families who have active children out on the streets using.

You know, we've, it's amazing what the Heron Project has done, man. It's gone beyond my wildest imagination, my wildest dreams. You know, this illness doesn't get enough credit. You know, and I often say every person you call a bum, every person you call a junkie, they have a mom and dad that want them back, man. They have a little boy or girl at home that want their mom and dad to be right at Christmas. So, you know, when you help one person, you can help a whole family. That's the, that's the fucking absolute beauty of doing this, man.

is you change kids Christmases. So the project is Chris Mullen, what is it, heronproject.com or? Yeah, yeah, the Heron Project. The heronproject.org. So I'm not a person. I would do this fucking foundation if, you know, on my own.

I'm not a big person like, hey, you know, like go here, go there. You know, I'm telling people because they can use it as a resource. And if they have a loved one that doesn't have good insurance, that doesn't have money, you contact us and we'll make treatment happen for you. We'll get it done for you. So that's what it's all about. Is there a donation switch right on the page?

Yeah, there should be. Yeah. Like PayPal type stuff? Huh? Can we send your money PayPal or credit card? Yeah, yeah, we got all that. I'm sure we got all that. Yeah, I mean, you know, we have a lot of different programs.

We have a lot of people that run marathons for us, ultra marathons. We have marathon coaches. We have, you know, we got clinicians on staff, social workers. We got all of that. Listen, man, if you ever want to do a comedy benefit in Boston. I've never done any of that stuff. I'm going to do the Woolton Theater next January or February, the Wilbur Theater. And I will fucking donate a portion.

I'll donate fucking the whole thing to you, man, because, like I said, I don't even fucking get high no more and you changed my life just with your words a few minutes ago. Well, no, I appreciate that, but I really do. And like I said, we're brothers, I mean... Yeah, no, no, I'm going to send a donation in the name of the church tomorrow morning

and get the ball going. And if, uh, please, you know, I know that they do the benefit for Cam Neely and all those guys. If you want me to do something in the will turn or something, you guys are in need. I will fly out. I will get some comics.

And we'll rock your fucking world because I think you're a beautiful. for man and they don't even make them like you I've had to hold myself back from crying like two times because sometimes I think I'm doing the right thing and I'm not doing dick compared to what you're doing so yeah I appreciate it

brother and we're in it together and hang up I look forward to giving you fucking I look forward to giving you a hug someday a big hug bro next time I'm in L.A. We're going to make it happen. Yeah but I still want to do that thing for you because I was also in a halfway house and I also

was scared to go into treatment and I lied one time and put a fake name of treatment and I went in there and I thought they were crazy and I just did it on my own you know I one day didn't want my wife to find me on the floor

how I found my mother on the floor I could handle it I'm from fucking Jersey you know the whole thing but my wife didn't deserve to find her husband on the floor with a purple arm dead from cocaine so I did this from my wife how about this

I'm speaking in Pennsylvania I meet a mom last month who comes up to me crying and her daughter is high in the seat in the auditorium she's on Xanax in heroin she said I'm sorry

for bringing my daughter like this can you come say hello to her I walked up to the daughter I gave her a hug her daughter was crying mom was crying and I'm crying and then the mom says

you know she's all I have left I said what do you mean she said I already buried three kids before 22 Jesus. She has one little daughter left and tie on heroin

in Xanax in an auditorium and she's already had three funerals for three children before 22 years old. Look at this. Enough enough enough. Look at this whole Ohio thing

with this fucking heroin. I mean, it's... I was just there. You were just there? I was just there. I was just there. I was just in heroin

last week. I mean, I was just in Ohio last week. I mean, listen, the city I was just there. grew up in had 13 overdose deaths in December and January. You know what I mean? Come on, man. 13 people dying from one drug in one city in two months, 60 days.

You know, I mean, like enough's enough. Like, but see, here's the deal, right? Until we address, like, like when it comes to addiction and when it comes to kids especially, we put so much focus on the worst day. We present overdoses, deaths, cost. coffins, funerals, car crashes. We show them the worst

fucking day possible. What about the first day? What about where it begins? You know, why don't we talk about the reasons why this stuff is started? You know, and until we change the way

we teach our kids, until we empower our kids to speak about the struggle that they're going through, they're always going to use drugs to forget about it. I mean, that's just the way it goes. I mean, if it's not trauma, if it's not genetic, if it's not pressure,

if it's not culture, there's always something right around the corner for these kids to pick it up. There's always a reason, but we have to give them more reasons not to. Yep. I think that's very well said, bro. Go ahead. I think that's very well said about what you would mention about because what will happen is people will go, oh, maybe I should start hitting meetings or maybe I need to go to rehab or, you know, my life's getting unmanageable. And then you go in there and you hear a story. worry about oh well you know I got arrested or I mean I did 10 years in prison or I you know and if you're not at that low bottom level you're gonna listen to this person

talking you go oh my disease just goes hey I haven't killed anybody yet I can keep drinking and then using you know I need to hear that my life is unmanageable when I'm drinking and doing drugs I need to hear other people talk about that and not just have this like hey man as long as you didn't kill somebody in a DUI you're probably okay to drink. And that is not the case at all. Well, here's the deal, right? I got a 17-year-old son.

I got a 15-year-old daughter, right? And I tell kids all the time when I speak, they say, how do you handle your kids getting drunk on weekends? Now they get fun. It's in high school, and so is your daughter. And I say, listen, I'm a father in recovery, and I'm still blessed to be at it. They haven't yet.

But if they do, I'm not punishing, yelling, taking away from them. I'm not interrogating them. I'm not blaming some kids' basements at their party, and I'm not focusing on their friends. I'm going to look them dead in the eye. I'm going to tell them how much I love them, what they mean to me.

I'm going to ask them one question. The question most parents won't. I will not leave this bedroom until you tell me why. Tell me why. My son, at 17 years old, needed drugs to hang out with kids. He's known since he was five years old. You tell me why, man?

That's what I want to know. I don't care where, I don't care when, I don't care how, I don't care what. I don't care about any of it. I just want to know why. Once we understand why we can start working through it. See, when I was 13 years old, I figured out, you know, my why. Because drugs and alcohol helped me forget, man. Same.

That's what it did. Me too. It allowed me to forget. And once I figured out I could drink enough, smoke enough, pop enough. pills, snowed enough coat, you know. Once I realized I can get it to a point where I can forget about it, it was over. But, but like, we have to address why, man, we have to go at the root of this. And when it comes to kids, when you ask a kid, there was, I'm going to tell you something

right now, man, I was a McDonald's All-American. I was ranked in the top 20 basketball players in the country when I was in high school. and there was never one night I walked into my house drunk or high and I looked in the mirror and said I'm proud of you man I was never proud of this shit it never felt right to me like I never went to bed with a

peace of mind when I did this stuff I'm drinking my father's beer my father's miller life disrupted my whole fucking childhood it tore my mother apart. It caused them to divorce. Miller Light

was the elephant in the room in my house, and I remember being a little boy listening to my parents' fight, and I knew exactly why they were fighting. I made a promise to my mom when I was like five years old, six years old after they fought one night. I broke that promise when I was 13, man.

I started drinking my dad's Millerite. That's fucked up. That's not normal. to be a kid drinking your father's beer that just broke your whole family to pieces. You know, I mean, that's the stuff that we forget about. That's the stuff that we're not recognizing and not addressing the kids. You know, and, you know, when it comes to kids, they don't want to hear about the worst day. They know it.

They don't want to hear about shooting heroin and overdoses and death. Just challenge them to be better, man. Challenge them on a Friday night to be able to talk to a girl. without it dance with a girl without it you know don't be scared to walk into that house party unless you've got to buzz on

all these insecurities and self-esteem issues that kids face at a very young age you know stop running away from them with drugs and alcohol so I think I think if we can get down to that we can make progress

you know Chris that was a time when I was 17 years old I would not go out unless I had cocaine Right. If I didn't have cocaine when I was in high school, I thought it would a waste of how? What a sad fucking state of mind that I missed parties. I missed things that normal kids did because, you know, I'm 54.

When I was 17, that didn't prove you. You could walk in. Who the fuck proved you in 81 and 82? Nobody. So, you know, what a sad, sad state of mind that for three or five, I remember moving to Colorado when I was 19 just to get away from the blow in New York City. And I found it. When you're on powder, you're a fucking magnet.

I found it in Besought, Colorado. You know how big Besought Colorado is, the size of a fucking block? I walked to the bar, and there it is. And it's like, you know, I started young. I want to know one thing. Do you think the percentages are higher if the parents do you? drugs and alcohol for these kids to be exposed to it? Yeah, no doubt.

Like, I don't have alcohol in my fucking house. Like, I don't even have, I don't have soda in my house. I have a four-year-old at this age. And I knew, I saw the kids that I went to the house and the parents wouldn't be home on a Friday. Because they were at the Smith's house, having a party, drinking. Then the next day I'd be there again. They'd be talking about their hangover.

What the fuck you think your kid's going to do when he's 15? Mm-hmm. I mean, I grew up in an alcoholic household. I grew up in an alky. My mom was a functioning fucking ouchy. Mm-hmm. You know, my father was not. I became a functioning cocaine addict, you know, just like you. You could score 20 the next day.

You talk about sniffing it out. Sniffing it out. I sniffed it out and say Ron, I ran, man. Imagine getting high from a cab driver, a cab driver pulling up to your window at 4 o'clock in the morning because that's the only time he delivered a Coke. He'd sit outside my window. I was on the third floor. He beat the horn once, come out and throw it up to me,

and then jump in his car and speed away. I mean, I can find Coke. You can drop me in any city in this world. And you give me an hour, an hour, I'll find it. I've often said this. I've often said this about how my alcoholism is, and how much my disease is so much smarter than I am. and I could get $90 drunk with $6 to my name every night of the year.

Every single night I'd go out with $5. I'd get $100 worth of drunk somehow. And in sobriety, I can't figure out how to pay $100 sell bill with $6. You know? I'm not addicted to paying sell bills. But I tell you what, you give me what I need when I'm drinking when I'm out. It doesn't matter if I got $4. That don't matter.

it doesn't matter my disease you'll find a way to get me what I need and it's on somebody else's dime or I'm stealing it or I'm fucking

hanging out with my buddy's bartending and milking up a fucking super tab but yeah man I'll find it I can find it no problem you know desperate

when you're desperate you don't care I mean listen they kill people and Iran stealing drugs you know I mean

I'm playing professional basketball and Kron I ran and I'm sitting in my house and I'm doing blow all night long and drinking

beer bottles that come in filthy dirty mud all over them how they smuggle them in and I mean I'm in Iran doing this stuff I was in Istanbul Turkey right Midnight Express and it's the only country I didn't want to smuggle

smuggle oxies into and I said to myself I'm street savvy when I get to Turkey I'll find them on the street couldn't find them. Could not find them. Two weeks into it, I had a buddy of mine send me a package for the mail.

He didn't want to do it. He put, he double address, my address and sent it to me. I got a phone call saying a package has been delivered, but you have to bring in your passport and pick it up. And I'm saying to myself, if I go get this

fucking package, I'm going to prison for the rest of my life in Turkey. I jumped in the car. I drove. I walked in the place. The guy asked me for my passport. I gave it. He went in the back of the home. He came out with my package.

I almost fucking, my package was wrapped in tape, open. She handed it to me. I walked out. I'm thinking, I'm going to get arrested. I made it to my car. I drove away.

I got down the street. I started ripping from my package. $5,000 worth of oxy cotton was, they were in that package. But someone got to my package before, that's a turkey who knew who I was and wrote me a note. And they said, you're lucky that I found this.

Because you'd be in jail for the rest of your life. Get your shit together for your family, man. They took all the drugs out and wrote me a note. If he didn't intercept that package, I'm done. But not to mention the fact, the level of desperation, here I am with my two kids in Turkey and my wife playing in the yard, and I'm driving to pick up a package that much. might put me in prison for the rest of my life.

That's crazy. No, like we said, we were talking about the, like we were talking about the war of art, art or war, whatever that book, about resistance, how it affects your life as an artist, when you want to start a project. And we were talking about how strong the drug resistance is, how fucking conniving and how it tricks you

and how it talks you out of paying the rent and how it talks you that you're going to, hit the lottery, you know. It talks you into all these false things to make you spend your last dollar that you used to be a responsible person with a great credit rating. And here you are fucking,

I've never figured these stories out of my mind, like how you could be one place at one time and one place at the other and the whole nucleus of the problem is fucking drugs. True. You're not doing. You know, the city I grew up and they told me I had to get out of it. So I got out of it and I got out of it by going to Boston College, right?

And then they kicked me out of Boston College after six months. And I flew all the way to Fresno State. And I was at Fresno for three years. And, you know, when it was time for me to go, they were telling me that I needed to get out of Fresno. And then I went to Italy, Turkey, China. Every country I ever played in, they said, hey, I think it's time for you to go. I'm noticing a pattern here. Yeah, I mean, it's wherever I am, I've got to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your rookie season, that again? Denver. Oh, Jesus, you were a nugget for a while. That's my old stomping grounds. I went to college in Boulder, the time in Boulder, the time in Colorado. How was it playing in Denver? How easy was it?

Oh, you stayed clean your rookie year, correct? For the most part, for the most part, I think. clean. I ducked and died those veterans a couple of times. It was a funny story. I was playing in Denver, and George McLeod, who played for the Nuggets, who was an absolute fucking

monster. He grew up in Florida, and we went down to Miami to play. And, you know, I guess now the Rolex in Miami, the strip club in Miami is, like this big glorified strip club. Back then, it wasn't.

And I'm in the hood. Miami and these guys that they're watching me making sure I'm doing the right thing and all a sudden you know I throw a smoke screen one way and I get out and uh I walk into the hotel at like 4 o'clock in the morning and uh and George McLeod sitting in a lobby waiting for me you know and he's like what what are you doing you know like we're trying to help you man and and this is how you treat us um I had great great people around me in Denver. Denver, I cried when I get traded. Now here I am going home to the Boston Celtics and I'm crying because I'm getting traded. That's how much I love the people I was

with in Denver. And what year were you at Denver? I was in Denver. I got drafted in Denver in 99. Wow. How different would your life have been had you not been traded to Boston? I had unaddressed illness, man. It would have been. out somewhere. Sure. Really? Sure. I thought when you went back to Boston, it's like me going back to Jersey in 94.

I just went right back to where I was, and I knew it. I knew it before I got on the fucking plane. But again, that drug resistance is like, I'll handle it. I knew it. I was bound for fucking failure. And it's tough to do shit at the house. That's why I always got out of New York, Chris, because I could wake up at five going to New York by a gun and an eight ball.

like nothing. That's a scary fucking proposition, man. To know any time you have access to a gun in April. 24-7. Hey, brother, I want to thank you, man. I never thought we'd get you to call in. I know you're a busy guy, man. This was more than my expectations.

You're the real deal. I appreciate it for real. I mean, it's always good to talk about it. It's even better to talk about it when everybody understands it, you know? Yeah. And everybody's been through it. So, you know, we've never met, but we're brothers. And I love you, man.

I really do. And I can't wait to meet you. I really appreciate you all. No, bro, that's 30 for 30. I changed fucking lives, man. It's when you, I know when somebody's changing a life, you're changing a life, man. So but you're like Jesus you gotta give your own fucking life for 20 years Yeah, so with my family, you know

Yeah, that's all you know Everybody gets sick around you You know, you suffer, you suffer in your sickness But so is everybody else And that's the best thing in the world is that You know, I knew I was sober Like really, so I knew I was really sober When I saw sobriety in my kids' eyes

You know, when I could look in today, eyes and see that peace of mind. That's when I knew I had something going. Like I said, any time you have anything going or you need any help promoting or you want to put together to Wilber Theater, I'm here for you, brother. And I'll see you sooner later, and I will talk about you and relink this for a while. Thank you very much, man. And God bless you and your family and give you a wife a big hug.

No doubt. I appreciate it. Sound of my love. Thank you, brother. Awesome, man. Later, bye. I gotta take a minute here. That was a heavy duty.

Let me get some shoutouts real quick. Sure. My main man in North Bergen, Mikey Batulovich, Brian Marshall, Twan F. Kennedy, Sebastian Cry Walt, always a soldier. My main man, Lorne, Rosenkir, Aaron Byers, Daniel Pearson, Sergio Oliva. My main girl, Brandy Lynn.

And as always, the fucking queen of the Twitter, church, defense. Spooky. I know it's not Monday, but do you want to do I want to be around just to? Not really. Okay. Let's talk to Tebowl while he thought about this. What a great guy.

I brought you to be on here as a co-host tonight. Sure. You're my addiction specialist. I've seen you in hell and back. You've seen me. Absolutely. And hell him back. No offense.

And I mean, it's an all loving way, but I do remember a time maybe about 10 years ago where having to talk with Ari, Ari and I were talking, and we were really, really pretty positive that we were going to lose you. There was a point in time, about 10 years, about a couple years before you go, no mass.

I'm done, I'm done. No, I knew I was losing. We're like, man, oh man. When I do it, I did, the worst thing that happened, it's not the worst thing that happened. It's what my mind did with it was the longest yard

and the results. Yeah. The results were not what I wanted them to be. So it drove me, it made me angry. It made me a lot of things. And there was money so I could snort at disposal. And there was one time I didn't think I was going to make it. Let's be honest with each other.

I mean, I was, you know, when you're 400 pounds, you can't breathe up the stairs and you're doing blowing, smoking three, four packs of cigarette. Your skin color is non-existent. There's not even blood going through your veins. There's no circulation. It was just a matter of time, so I'm very fortunate. So, like, when you're having that feeling and you're thinking you're not going to make it, and you're still doing Coke?

Like, you're still at, like, later that night just doing Coke? Do you just not care if you live or die? Like, what is that like? It's a very surreal feeling when... Listen, man, in a micro sense, it's like you know McDonald's his feet and you're somebody's fucking cat, but we still go in there. You and I both know that if you smoke enough cigarettes, you will get cancer, but we still do that. There are so many things that we know as human beings that are bad for us, but we shrug them off. Like, it's not going to be me.

I'm never going to be that guy with the fucking organ in my throat because I smoked 80 fucking cigarettes, you know. It's weird. It was a weird situation knowing that I had nothing left. Like, I was just fading away to this drug because I was losing to it. And then I watched the movie Ray. And I saw that he quit drugs at 64. And I said, there is no fucking way I'm going to do this till the end. There is no fucking way that this has to stop.

And then I read that John Gotti had taken over the game. at the age of 45. And I was 44. Wow. It was 2007. So I was about to be 45. And I figured for me to take over my world, I'm going to have to do this sober. If I want to be not a gangster, I don't want, if I want to have that much control of my life, I have to stop doing drugs.

You know, when you would call me and go, Joey, what are we doing tomorrow at 12? Yeah, we're going to write the script. As I was talking to you, I knew that you might get a call at 10 saying I had the flu. Yeah. Four weeks in a row. Right, right. You know, Lee and I always talk about how lucky we are. We started this podcast at 6th and morning in the first two years.

If I was doing blow, this podcast would have lasted three weeks. Oh, sure. Any project. Three weeks. I remember my father died twice. I had a job where my, you know, three years. three-year window, my father died twice. Where they're like, didn't your dad already die?

You know, just one of my excuses. Like, I thought your dad died like two and a half years ago. I'm talking to my dad in fucking 35 years. But hungover, just don't want to go into work. I'm like, yeah, I can't be there for a couple days. My dad died. I got to go back to the funeral, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah, of course.

Whatever you need, take your time, blah, blah, blah. Don't worry. Cut to three years later. I'm hungover, coked out, fucking fucked up again. Call the same job. I'm like, hey, I can't come in my, just found out my father died. They're like,

your father died three years ago that's how much you don't give a fuck I had a friend Glenn Conti that worked for UPS when we were growing up and every Friday he would call and say his grandmother died and when they pulled them to the back room they go listen man we've investigated

different scenarios and nobody hasn't had as many grandmothers as you yeah you've got 13 grandmothers and all of them have dead and all of them are fucking dead dad it's I still remember the last year that how I would cancel gigs that morning you know what that's like hmm you know

what that's like to go home road gigs you can't a road gigs you're saying oh she that's a death sentence how long do you know me I mean Lee I'm leaving at 8 in the morning the cabs picking me up at 6.30 I'll be in Houston by fucking 12 beautiful weekend that night I go to the store let me go do a spot listen and now I would never leave tonight before I'd have to do comedy. But that was my little test. Let me go do a spot. Sure. And on the way back,

what's a 20? That's it. And I'd call him and he'd go, I don't have no 20s right now. I just got a 60 or a half-eight ball. Ain't that always the case? You know what? Give me the half-eight ball because the 60, I'll save it, I'll leave it there in the apartment for when I come back from Houston. Next thing you know, it's

545. The Coke has been gone for three hours. I'm barely holding on. I can't even leave the fucking kitchen because I see shadows in the living room and we lived in the studio apartment. So check that out. I would sit there and look under the door. You see that door jam?

I would just lay on the floor and look under the door jam, praying that Terry wouldn't come out and see me. What about the night I'd lock the cat out? I locked the cat. I'd lock Finney outside. No, I don't think I know that story. He kept knocking on the door and I thought it was the cop. So I went to bed and put the sleep at me a mascot and just laid there going,

when they're going to kick the fucking door. And finally, if I, when the shit wore off, I went back to the door and who's out there. Finney's sweating. Like, what the fuck's going on? What the fuck is wrong with you? Let me out here for three hours. You're a fuck.

Yeah. I thought we were friends, motherfucker. I was doing that type of shit at the end. I had canceled Beaumont, Houston, Sacramento. I went up there and couldn't get Coke on a Thursday night. Guess what do you think I did on a Friday morning? Yeah.

I had a mystery audition. You got to go back to L.A.? No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Working with Gamer. Mm. Yes, I did. Yeah, it just becomes a priority.

Went home, but I got home. I had money in my pocket. When I landed, I had no audition for my name is Earl. I went, I booked it, and that night I had to celebrate. I would do that shit. Oh, yeah, I go to Sacramento 20. That was, you know, this happened 11 years ago, Lee. 12 years ago.

Right. But, you know, it's forgotten. No, no, no. I'm somebody to go back to Sacramento that night. Not really. Why would I do that? There was no cocaine there. Why would I go to some place

and I couldn't find cocaine from the waitstaff the first night? Which surprises me, by the way. That one night, that one day when I went up there, the guy who usually could get it, didn't work that weekend. That makes some more sense. So they took me to a few bars Thursday night. Nobody had it.

Nobody trusted the girl. They had to drive to the other side of Sacramento. Everybody was tired, so we just said, fuck it. I fucking stayed up all night scratching because at that point it was the tail end of the addiction. And I was like, If I could get home right now, I would. Like, I was thinking about taking a cab home.

I could make it to L.A. by five and get a pack. A cab from Sacramento? This is the resistance in your mind. You talk yourself into some crazy shit. That a cab riot from Sacramento. How come you didn't really... I mean, you did a couple things past cocaine, but you never really stuck on to them.

It seems like a lot of people go, and they always are moving forward. in their addiction. How come you didn't do that? The needle stopped me, but I did end up doing the heroin that summer. That last summer I was snowing heroin. The needles didn't allow me to it, but if the heroin really grabbed me... Probably would have killed you.

The heroin was it. Guys, June of 2007, I was doing heroin. Oh, that was the last summer? Yeah, I was doing heroin. Oh, I didn't know that it was the last summer. Okay. I was very quiet. I wasn't going to the snow no more.

The addiction had not, you know, told me, don't go down there no more. Mm-hmm. because it's bad down there. You're bad because you go down there. Really? I'm bad without the fucking store. Yeah, people don't like, man, you got to quit. Can't hang?

I'm like, dude, I'll drink at a fucking ralph's parking lot. Ain't nothing going to stop me. Tell me where I can and can't go. I mean, it's just like, you know, Haram is saying when we were talking to him, he's like, you know, Turkey kicked out of Turkey. Istanbul, you know, Iran, kicked out of Iran. Boston, kicked out of Iran.

Boston, Denver, kicked out of... It doesn't matter. it doesn't matter you know it's an inside job and as long as you're not handling the inside job part of it you know what I mean it it doesn't matter I know I'm not aware I'm at I know to some of you people you know I'm not completely sober when I say I'm not completely sober I like to smoke my marijuana but you I have 12 pack of um uh Hineken in there I avoid alcohol because that was one of my early triggers you know there was a time when I go out and I'd be fine until I drank four beers And then it's coke.

Well, fucking southern comfort Norwich. No, no, no. And if I didn't have cuck, I'd do a burglary. Mm-hmm. I'd walk around and go that coffee shop

across the North Hollywood Park. Mm-hmm. I could kick that fucking door down and pick up the register and run out before the alarm even goes off at the fucking cop store. Sure. And I'll tell you what,

I'm a petty thief. There's $60 in that register in quarters and dollars and fives. It's worth kicking in a $200 window. Yeah, and maybe $20 and change in the back. That's 80, Jack. That's a 60, a six-pack, and two packs of cigarettes in my world.

Right. Did you ever have that? I know you've been to pawn shops and you sold things that you stole, but did you ever have the thing where you were selling your own possessions, like Chris did? I sold everything, Chris, Lee, whatever you name is. I sold every piece of gold I had ever. I would buy gold just to sell it.

What is this noise? Sounds like the truck. Fucking people got to do backing up now and shit, 11 o'clock at night, cock-suckers. I got engines running out there No we gotta leave the door open tonight Because it's kind of warm in L.A. It's kind of nice This beautiful week

It's a beautiful fucking breeze and shit But no If you're listening to the show tonight And You know you're struggling a little bit I mean we all know We don't try to address it But we all know

I fucking knew all those years I had a problem A hundred billion You all fucking know A hundred billion percent So listen man, try to take care of it. That's it. It's that easy, and it's not that easy.

It's that easy, and it's not that easy. But taking the first step the first time, even if you fail, you're halfway there. And people are always like, how do I know if I'm an alcoholic? How do I know if I'm an alcoholic? You know. Well, if you blew ISIS last week at the club, and you don't remember, you were a fucking alcoholic. Right. If you sucked ISIS's dick at the club last week and you walk up and you thought you had hummus the night

before, you're an alcoholic. That's how the fuck you know you're an alcoholic. When you black out or when you hear these type of stories that, you know, you sell your possessions or, you know, you don't go home to your kids. I got a second chance with Mercy. I got a second chance with my wife. But want that shit around me ever again, like ever again. I know what will fuck me up.

And I, at this age, I know exactly what will fuck me up and want more. You want to take two volumes and have a hemorrhetto on milk? I'm all in, Jack. I'll sleep like a fucking baby If you think I'm gonna go searching for oxicon's now You're crazy I love Uncle Larry's fun pills I love taking two or three of those and I'm in Vegas

But that's it Right and to me it just as someone who hasn't Luckily dealt personally with addiction It almost sounds a little bit like when you say Two Valiums in a Southern Comfort If you were doing that every night I'd be worried about you But you do that like once every six months

It's like, no, but I wouldn't even drink a sudden. No, I won't even drink that one. I am so scared. I'll take a fucking Valium if you got one. Okay. Especially if I'm flying or something. Valium on a flight is the best. I won't drink with it if I'm on the plane anymore.

Those days are long gone. I'm just too scared. We lost a great comic years ago on Freddy Sugg. He loved his Valiums. And it was death by misadventure. It was ruled by alcoholism, and it wasn't bad alcoholism. he was eating valiums, drinking alcohol, and he had sleep apnea. That's why you really got to be careful with sleeping pills and sleep apnea.

So even if I haven't met the house, like sometimes I go to bed at 11, but I'm walking around at 4.30. That's going to ruin my day. I'm wide awake, like Pepe LaPue. I'm ready to do. Yeah, yeah. But the problem is, at 2 o'clock, I'm going to be wiped out, and I'm going to have a meeting. Well, I'm going to write calmly. I want to do something.

those pills the Dr. Gamy for anxiety I'll pop a half of one of those and fucking go right to bed and you give me 10 minutes and I'm nappy noon time Jack and next you know the baby's waking me up daddy wake up it's Wednesday

I wake up but I don't if I let my body sleep like it does but I know I can't take a lot of rounds you know at 20 if I had the sleep happening I had now I'd be dead yeah I'd be dead because I hadn't I don't get what fuck I go out at night get drunk and eat 20 sleeping pills.

And, you know, that's the other thing, too. It's like, when you're younger, you're much more indestructive, and you just don't really care. He's like, yeah, whatever. I'm just being 25. You know, man, you're much more indestructive, but look at all the fucking kids that are dying right now from this heroin. And I have a friend that...

And meth. Meth is such an epidemic problem in this country. I didn't know that's an epidemic. I had a friend who called me a month before Prince died. You know what he said to me? Prince is next. And I said, well, may she? say that he goes because they landed the plane and they told you everything was all right

he goes this goes back to navana when he odeed in england and he came back and they we eat ice cream on tv he goes i could see in his eyes he was gone already it's really weird god sends you a little warning one time and it's the people that odia the people that get locked up or go to rehab well before you go to a rea it's like me right now the reason why i gave up for lent? I didn't know you did this. I know you're a big edibles fan. Yeah, I gave him up for lent because let's be honest, why should me and Lee eat 2,000 milligrams for fucking THC? I talked to normal Americans that eat 30 milligrams and they see devils and unicorns and they'll never do it again. Me and this poor kid are in here eating fucking 500 million. I told the chick

at Peredium today. I go, I can eat two of those transmission foods. She goes, Joey, a guy came in here a month ago, said he ate a cube and he vomited for 12 hours. How the fuck are you eating two of those things? So, you know what? We joke around and everything's ha-ha-h-h-h-he, but something's not right. And that's why I went back to acupuncture. That's why I started cleaning out my fucking adrenalins again and my fucking, my gallbladder because I felt that I had a little pain.

If you want me to lie to you, I can't lie to you. I had a little back pain. But there was a couple nights something felt weird in there. And I'd pee and it'd be yellow. You know, it'd be glowing. And that's why you see me drink the amount of water I'd do. That's why you see me drink sugarless cranberry juice sometime just to clean out. There's something else I got that I got online.

And now I feel pretty good. So let's give the edibles a break. This is what I wouldn't have done when I was 23. This is what I wouldn't have done at 32 or even 42. But by the time you get to be an old fuck, you understand. And people have to take breaks from. breathers. So when I get back to the edibles, guess what I'm going to do? What's that?

Stop smoking. And you're just going to go edibles and then not... No, once I go back to the edibles, I think the smoking's going to be gone. I really want to get to jih-jitsu and really grow and not have a problem if there's an earthquake and I've got to run down the street because Godzilla's chasing me. I don't want to be one of those fat fucks on the floor. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. So I think that that'll help.

It's really hard to repair the lungs, but it doesn't hurt to give it. I know that sometimes I smoke pot and jump row. but I can't do it. How long have you not smoke cigarettes? A couple years now. You love them. Love them. Never smoked a cigarette

till I moved to Los Angeles. Myself as well. Never smoked a cigarette till the age of 30 fucking four. I was 31. 34 years old, you could not walk into a fucking room with me with a cigarette.

If I went on the road with you and I found out you smoked, I would cancel the week because I didn't want to smell it on my clothes. I wouldn't date a girl. She lit up a cigarette like this. No, no.

No, I thought if we don't smoke the pussy stunk. It was the weirdest fucking thing. I didn't like cigarettes at all. And I came out here and I noticed people were smoking before they went on stage. And I used it and I loved it. And then when you do Coke, ooh. That's the candy of choice. Doing a line and smoking two toots right behind it.

I did Coke. The first time I did Coke, I was played 31. And within four months of that, I was a pack of a smoker. Within four months of my first line of cocaine Never smoked a cigarette before in my life I was a pack a day smoker Now how long have you been sold before now this time Like uh...

26-ish months Something like that And how many meetings are you hitting a week? Right now, like eight If you knew somebody right now that came to you and said What do you suggest for treatment right? I mean listen I know people go to things

35 fucking rehabs. You know, I know people who have broken records for rehab. Sure. You know, I don't know how I feel about rehabs yet unless the person is ready. He's had it. That's what scares me about rehab. That rehab is like prison. It cleans you up in 90 days.

Makes you take a little look. Yep. But then it throws you right back to where you're right back. Yeah. I believe, I think the percentages are better if there's a sober living environment. Yeah. Usually that's what you want to do. That's what you want to do.

Go from rehab to a sober living situation. I would hate to be there again, Jason Thievo. I am so happy to be without that chain. That was worse of confinement than prison. And that's what people understand that. It was living in a prison. My whole circumference of my life was surrounded by the who, where, how, and how I was going to do it. Yeah.

You know, whether I came, whether it came, like right now, If I was still snorting coke, I would only go to the cities that got the Coke. And whoever gave it to me for free and brought a lot of it, I would be there every four weeks saying the same old jokes. And I'd be getting fucked up and going on stage and just talking to them and booing getting booed. Because it didn't matter. That time I OD'd in Beaumont from those volumes. They would booing me.

What happened when you OD? I didn't know D as an OD, as an OD where I was. ended up in the hospital. I had 30 tens in three days. Jesus. So 110s, 100 milligrams of volume in a day when you're 400 pounds and you don't sweat and you don't drink water and you don't eat right and you don't exercise. It's heavy. And I kept pounding them, which you, Yeagermeister?

I fell asleep on stage or one night, late on the floor. You know, who pays to see that? Right. Who would pay to see that junk, you know? Does anybody ever hit you up now and be like, I was actually at that About a year ago. Really? The story on the podcast.

And they said it was very disturbing. That they had gone to see somebody who had just been in an Adam Sandler movie. And they went to see somebody who was just, I'll never forget being in Vegas with Rogan and doing the 10 o'clock show and walking through the thing and seeing Artie Lang about to go on stage. And I did not know who he was. I knew he was on Stern. I knew he was a mess. But I remember looking at him. Not saying anything.

Not that I was starstruck. I just didn't have the right to go up to him. I was a feature act. But I kind of felt bad because I knew exactly what he was going through. And the whole crew he was with, it's not like when I used to go on the road with Chris McGuire, Rogan, and those guys don't get hot. So you really couldn't catch it.

It really wasn't as disgusting and despicable as what I had saw that night. And I loved R. Ardy Lang. I love what he's doing on crashing right now. Yeah, me too. It was him, the Reverend Levy. And you could tell, I don't know if Levy did blow. I think Levy's in the program. But fucking, he was a mess.

So I actually went to the door and he goes, you worked with Rogan tonight. Go in if you want. I walked in. Rogan went to shoot pool or something. And I sat up there the one night and watched Ardy Lang. And I felt really bad for me. For you? Because that's what I was going to become. He was on stage, high as fuck, talking just nonsense.

It was not worth of $55. I would have demanded my money back. But those people in the audience were just as fucked up. And it had become, I don't want to go to rehab. I said, no, no. What was the name? Any one else? Right, yeah.

It had become one of those situations. She was selling out shows just for people to, go see how fucked up she could get on stage. Charlie Sheen had that too. I remember Charlie Sheen was like, I'm going to go to a world tour and let everybody look at what a dumb fuck I am. Yeah, but he did it two fucking times. I'm talking about,

Arly Lang was, you know, and I've seen people do it. I mean, look what happened. Towards the end, people were paying to see rehab chick just to see the debacle. And it was the same thing with Arlie Lang. And you know who else was doing that way before Ardy Lang. If you read his book and you hear the stories, Mr. Sam Kattison.

Before he went Deep Hill, if you paid for one of those tickets, you called his openness, and even his openers were on fire. But he would come out, and it was a 50-50. He might talk, he might do great, or he might just go up there and take questions, and he did get booed.

One New Year's in Vegas, something, he did get booed. I got that book at the house. My brother, Sam, it's a good book. It's a very good fucking book, and somebody gave it to me. I had read it in Seattle. And somebody gay, and I remember being at the store and going,

listen, man, not that I'm Sam Kenison, but I'm going to end up the same fucking way as those guys. You know? There's nothing. I had no other direction to go. Let's be honest. I was one of those guys that went to the store 30%

to do a set that he didn't care about. And 80% was because the connection was there. Sure. I could get three for two. I could get four for two. You know, I could do a thousand things there. So, How fucking sad is that that my first 10 years here were coke-ladened?

And I still worked and booked movies and did movies. Can you imagine if I was- If I was sober, the things I could have done in television and film, you know, that longest yard, I stayed sober on that for six weeks. Yeah. And not even, I'm lying. I stayed sober for two weeks in the beginning, and I went off the deeper, and then I found where I could get in Santa Fe.

and that was the end of that and I'll never forget flying up here with that Pardtia money in my pocket burning a hole in my pocket because my wife wouldn't know about it right right right right you know I was cash they give you I'll never forget getting off that plane

and going straight to that fucking dealer's house and telling them cut me three and a half of nothing but fucking rock I'm going home to blast off fuck football I mean it was just crazy yeah crazy I was snorting till four I would get in my car and drive to Redondo beats to shoot the longest yard

crazy what is it like he mentioned the Modesto story Chris and he said that it was after like a four or five day bender and he was like looking at himself and he just realized he would like can you even sleep after a bend like can you can you get yourself

right in a few hours of sleep or what does it take to recover from four or five days of just going balls to the wall three days of fucking sleep yeah you're done for a while party's over rover you know if you got a four or five day bender like that.

I mean, I remember I had a two, maybe two or three day bender you know, about maybe ten years ago. I remember the girl I was living with. But, you know, booze blow, booze blow, booze blow, booze blow, booze blow. And then went to sleep

on Sunday night and woke up about five o'clock Tuesday. Wow. I slept. I mean, I never opened my eyes on Monday. You know? Just that whole day was gone I was like I'm like you got how in the fuck is it Tuesday

I thought everyone was playing a joke on me Can you imagine me? Yeah I can When I did the 30 day the 30 things I started on Thursday And I finished from Sunday morning And I basically slept from Sunday to Wednesday Getting up to puke

Eat little soup and go right back to bed Joints were hurting Tendons were hurting You know there's no There's no vitamins Swallowing swallowing Yeah, there's no vitamins Coming into your body

It's a horrible, horrible thing When I was 21 I was pulling those two nights too I remember being in Miami one night Up for three nights by myself In a hotel Three nights, sad I'm gonna write about it

I'm getting to that chap Sad Waiting for a guy to come That gave me a batch of coke And I had to pay him And I got down and thank God I had extra money. I checked myself into a hotel.

And I asked some guy for Coke, and he ended up giving me like, he was like, ah, don't worry about it. He just actually went in with a scoop. This is 1984 cocaine. And I went back, it was in Miami. I'm like, it was a hotel. 84 Miami.

That had to be actually cocaine. No, no, no, no. You had no, no, no. You had no, no, no. You had no, no, really? all the alcohol in the refrigerator did not let the maid in and just went straight for three days from Friday to Monday I still remember Monday morning I still could close my eyes and visualize the sun coming through the curtains and how bad I felt he he mentioned this part where he his wife asked him why he didn't have the mirror and the shaving stuff in the bat in the shower anymore and he said he couldn't look at himself for a few in a I've heard you guys mentioned that before multiple times. Listen, man, that whatever drug you're taking, oxy, h, whatever.

I know when I was doing blowing, I had pee in the bathroom. I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror as I was walking out of there. It's not good. It's not good to look into the mouth of fucking Satan and go, Jesus Christ, what am I doing with my life? You don't even want to believe it. Yeah. We're very lucky, Jason, Timo. We're lucky that you've been doing this for 26 months.

Has your life really changed? Um, sometimes. How is it changed? Oh, how has it changed? Um, that's a good question. I mean, accountability, for one. You know, it's just like you said, you'd fuck off so much. You mean, just the easiest of things.

Hey, man, come, you want me, 50 bucks. Come to meet me here. We'll have lunch. I'll give you some excuse the next day why I didn't show up. I mean, I may even have the money on me and just be like, I just don't have fucking time, you know. You get a lot of free time. You get a lot of, you know, you said it best when you're like,

all the time in my head, all the planning, you know? You free up so much time not having that anchor. It's an anchor. It's an anchor. It's what it is. How am I going to get it tonight? How am I getting fucked up tonight? Who's working where?

Where can I go and fucking pretend like I'm supposed to be there? You know, that freedom would do whatever the fuck. I could tell you all the good things that have happened since I stopped doing it. Just me getting married, just be being a good husband. I didn't expect to be a fucking father. I thought that nerve cell was cut, but I guess whoever controls people getting clean gave me that as a fucking reward to look at just because there's no way of my... And a motivating factor too.

I mean, in John, you're kind of like, hey, man, I got to... There's no way in my earth that I could ever put anything in my nose again. You know, like I said, I don't even get high on most of the stuff I do because my tolerance is of a fucking mule. But, no, there's not much I want to do. I brush. Listen, we do liquid acid in this podcast. I did, like, three drops to one night. I was high for like three hours.

I remember when you did three drops, you'd be high for 22 fucking hours. Duncan, Trussle and I was telling me something. a podcast with Tatea there, we used to sell liquid acid. Here in town? Here in town. The day after I met, I met Duncan Trussell,

the next day, we started selling acid together. I knew Duncan for about 12 hours. And he's like, oh, I heard you got a connection to get acid, buddy. I go, I got a guy that can hook it up.

He's like, we should get a bunch. Liquid acid, vizene bottle. Used to keep it in the fucking, you know, medicine cabinet. One was a vizine bottle. One, the other one was also a vising bottle that just said not vizine. on it so no one fucking accidentally do that fucking uh and we used to dose people up we're just

one one hit two hits you're fucking high for eight hours duncan and i built up such a tolerance uh that we would just go drop in each eye bong bank not even go to just circumvent the whole digestive system i think if you're selling acid oh yeah you're eating acid every everybody has acid once a once a once a month you're doing it every single other day with people because you're I was telling me, I did acid for three weeks in a row to the point when the next day I couldn't, I would be stuttering. Like, you could feel it. Like, the next day. I remember doing angel dust that the next day you could feel it.

I did 100 hits in one summer in three months of acid. Yeah, that you can feel. You'll feel that for a long. I feel it after, I mean, maybe it must be completely different. But after, like, doing it twice in one week, that's tough. That's, like, it takes it. Like, it's when you don't want to work out, but you make me work out just to start. your resistance it does so many things like vitamin c kills that fucking rat poison once it gets in your

fucking blood but it lowers i remember going out like from friday saturday we get together sunday do mescaline maybe take monday off and then go tuesday wednesday thursday by friday you're a 15 16 year old kid yeah sure i have fucking insecurities today i was dosing my fucking underdeveloped brain With God knows what I was buying in fucking Pennsylvania. Who knows what that shit was? Listen, man, that phone interview was one of the best interviews. I've ever heard somebody talk about addiction like ever. Great guy, great story.

If you're suffering with something right now, do me a favor. Go to his website, man. What is it again? Thehernproject.com. Project.org. And it's E-H-E-R-R-E-N. He's not looking to do anything. Maybe he's got information on there

on how to get you the way you need to be, man. You know, that's the most important thing. I wish I could help you. You know, I wish Tebow could help you. You know, we could tell you to go to a meeting. We're going to tell you the same shit that's kept you where you've been for this long time.

So I'm no fucking genius, you know. Maybe he's got something. that can help you with addiction. Like I said, I was addicted for a long time, but everybody's addiction is different. I got to be honest. Everybody do different fucking things for an addiction. So check out theheronproject.org,

and maybe he's got some information, especially with opiates if you need help. You know what I'm saying? Right now you go, enjoy it. What a fuck? You smoke dope. What type of hypocrite are you? Listen, man, I'm over here fighting for my fucking life to every day.

I smoke marijuana because it's the last thing from my past. that holds me together you know I gotta be honest with you guys like I said there's some mornings I could smoke four bowls of weed and nothing happens yeah you know my tolerance is so high but it's right now I've been thinking about it from the other side and it's the last thing from my past that's still mm-hmm and it's also probably the only one that didn't really make your life unmanageable no it makes me I focus I write I do my task I'm never late you know so I've loved I've loved marijuana since day one.

The first time I went home and was able to fall asleep on marijuana, I go, this is the drug for me. This is the fucking drug for me. Teeps, I'm happy you're doing 26 fucking months. You taped a special? Shah, I recorded an album.

Where at? I recorded it in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and it'll be coming out in about three weeks, editing it right now. We were talking about that at the story the other day, how hard it is to edit yourself. because everything, you know, you're like, that's good that way, yeah, that's good that way too.

It's like, so I got a guy that's, you know, I can just kind of walk away and he'll send me clips and cuts and then I don't have to, because you'll go nuts. You'll totally go through all. Yeah, you'll go crazy. Never mind listening. Looking at myself, that's the Adam family. You know, no, no, no.

I don't want to see myself. I don't want to hear my fucking voice. That's one of the hardest things ever to do. I love taping myself, but I'll never make the whole tape. one sitting. I got to sit there three fucking times because I got to get up because I hate my voice. When does the album come out on iTunes?

Comes out at the end of March. It'll be end in like three weeks. Let me know so we could post it and announce on the show. Yeah, return to the red state it's called. People really like you when you come on the show. And like I said, you know, we fuck around a lot here, but in my heart, man, if you have a problem, I really wish you just go to smoke and refra. If anything, if you still need something,

like me because you're insecure. You don't think for years I wouldn't quit Coke because I thought I wouldn't be able to create stand-up comedy. That's another motherfucker that fucks with you. I could relate to that a lot. Yeah, people, so, you know, man, whatever you're going through right now,

this wasn't no fucking whatever, but at least if one person gets help out of so many hundreds of thousands of people listen to this podcast, it would really be great. Send us an email. Send us Tehr on an email, send fucking

my man over here, whatever his fucking name is Jason Tebow in email. Yeah, I said that before in this show, and I, you know, I always extend that out when I come and do this show, because we always usually talk about this, but anybody hit me up on Twitter at the Teeb, DM me on Facebook or anything.

If anybody needs to talk about any of that, hit me up. People always have. People, every time I do the show, I always get help by people. Some of them I'm still talking to from the last time I did this show. Still talking to them all the So if anybody needs to talk, man, I'm here for you. You don't know any dates?

I don't have much coming up. I'm going to be in Chicago in about three months. You can always see me at the comedy store, Ice House Laugh Factory. You've got spots around town, bro. I'm watching that, so I can tell you made a big leap with your life. You... I never would have recorded an album. Fucked up.

You know what I mean? It just would have been on the to-do list that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. All those are fucking seeing the rainbow. You're fucking. Things are happening. Things are happening. That's what it does. So last night, about three, four days ago,

I got a package from Mionis. And I opened it up, but when I flip it over, they had sent... $5,000 worth of pills. No, they sent... You got Chris's pills. You imagine that shit.

They sent... They sent his and hers, but when I flipped it over, It was the her side. So I picked it up and I go, honey, you like them? And she goes, yeah, okay. I put the things away. My wife takes hers.

I take my Miandis. I go to Jiu-Jitsu. I come back. I got the Miandis on. I shoot to the shower. Right before I go into the shower, I shave on this side right here, just so I can shave the rest in the shower.

And her door opens. There's a bathroom that connects through a door that I use, and she uses it. She has her own bathroom, but to break my phone. fucking balls, sugar in that bathroom. Okay. She took a shit in there the other day.

I thought a fucking elephant died in there. Somebody broke in and shit in my house. I go, what happened? My wife goes, that's your daughter. That's her asshole. That's, you know, it runs in the family. So I come, I'm shaving. She bust in the door.

She goes, Daddy. And she looks at me and she goes, Daddy, why do you have panties on? And I go, I got no panties on. These are my Miendies. You know, mommy's got the sandwich. she went into a riproam. No, Daddy, you can't wear panties.

Men don't wear panties. She's just a little fucking girl. She started pulling at him, dog. Like, Dad, you have to take those pants. I said, would you stop? I had to stretch them out for her and show them that they were the boxes. I'm such a fat fuck that they all wrinkle up and shit.

But listen, guys, no jokes aside. I don't advertise me on these. I'm a fucking wearer, and I wear them the best when I have to sweat. When I know I have to sweat, sweat is when I put on me and these. Why? Because of a fabric named Morda. All right. You want to elevate your underwear game to the next level with Miondi's, all right? You've perfected your wardrobe, but what about the stuff everybody gets to really see? If you've been selling for

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You're going to love them. Just use our special car. URL, meundies.com slash Joey, and get 20% off your first pair. You want to go out? You want to sling dick? You got to revamp your underwear collection, baby boy. I'm 55. I can wear fucking diapers. Nobody gives a shit. But you guys are all young. You want to keep your balls fresh. You want to be alive. You want to be quick and you want to be cool.

Go to meundies.com right now slash Joey. Go to meundies.com right now slash Joey. And save 20% off your first pair. again, meundies.com slash joey. Let me ask you something. When you smoke 20 times, 22 bowls of fucking reefer,

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and I advise you to roll up your goddamn sleeves, too. That's naturebox.com slash joey for 50% off your first order. Naturebox.com slash joey. I also went to Honet today. I got some great stuff. I always get the new mood. I always get the hemp protein.

And I always, always, always get the cherry, lemonade, veggie thing, the green. Go to honor.com right now. Take a look at their supplements. I can't help you with the weights or the ring. or anything else. All you help use with supplements, you got 10% off. All right. I want to thank Nature Box. I want to thank me on these. I want to thank my main motherfuckers in the house, Audit.com. I want to thank Jason Tebow and the beautiful Mr. Chris

Herron and my Jewish anti-fucking lent friend, Lee Syatt. What Lee? Oh, no. It's honor.com slash church. Thank you.com.com slash church. Always got to bring fucking pity to the show. Anyway, Tebow, let us know. So maybe we'll be. You can call and promote the CD. We'll do that for sure, man. We want to make the number one on iTunes. You know, we love you. We'll be back Sunday night.

I don't know what fucking time. I'll tell you, Sunday morning. Keep your guests on all weekend. We love you, motherfuckers. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the support. And don't forget, Fahim Amois, CD DVD special on CISOT TV. com.

What's the code? Enlar. Amoir. And get one month for free. Help a brother out. The kid's solid. And he's so funny. I love.

I love that guy. You love that guy. Thank you for helping us out. Stay black. Have a great weekend. God love you. God bless you, motherfuckers. Sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.

It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. Everywhere. People pissing on the stairs. You know they just don't care. I can't take the smell. Can't take the noise. Got no money to move out.

I guess I got no choice. Rats in the front room rogers is in the back. Junkies in the alley with a baseball bat. I try to get away, but I couldn't get far. Because I'm going to get away. man with a touch up we possessed my car. Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head.

It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep them going under. Standing on the front stoop hanging out the window, watching all the cars go by roaring as the pieces blow. A crazy lady living in a bag, eating out of garbage pills used to be a fagg, such a dance to tango, skip the life entangle. A zircon pronged since it's a long. She seemed to lost us senses.

Down at the peep show watching all the creeps so she could tell her stories to the girls back home. She went to the city and got so, so, so did it. She had to get a pet she couldn't make it on her own. Don't push me because I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep them going under.

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep them going under. My brother's doing fast on my mother's TV says she watches too much, it's just not healthy. All my children in the daytime, Dallas a night, can't even see the game or the sugar ray fight. The bill collectors that ring my phone and scare my wife when I'm not home. Got a wrong education, double-digit inflation, can't take the train to the job. There's a strike at the station. Knee on King Kong standing on my back can't stop to turn around.

Broke my sacrileiac, a mid-range migraine, cancer membrane. Sometimes I think I'm gone insane. I swear I might hijack a plane. Don't push me, call, um, close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under. My son said, Daddy, I don't want to go to school because the teacher's a jerk, he must think him a fool, and all the kids smoke reefer, I think it'd be cheaper.

If I just got a job, learn to be a street street. Shuck for my feet, wear a shirt and tie, and run with the creeps, cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny. You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey. They pushed that girl in front of the train, took it to the doctor, so the arm on the game. Stab that man right in his heart, gave him a transplant for a brand new start.

I can't walk through the park cause it's crazy after dark. Keep my hand on my gun, because they got me on the run. I feel like an outlaw, broke my last-ass jaw, hear them say, you want some more living on a seesaw. Go push me, call on. close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. Say what? It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep him going under. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep him going under. A child is born with no state of mind blind to the ways of mankind. God is smiling on you, but he's frowning too, because only God knows what you'll go through.

You'll grow in the ghetto living second rain and your eyes will sing us on. The hate, the places you play and where you stay Looks like one great big alleyway You'll admire all the number book takers, Thugs, pimps and pushers in the big money makers Dropping big cars, spending the 20s and tens And you wanna grow up to be just like them, Smugglers, scrammlers, burglars, gamblers, pick pocket peddlers,

even panhandlers, you say I'm cool, I'm no fool, but then you wind up dropping out of high school Now you're unemployed, all non-void, Walking around like your pretty boy Floyd, turn stick, But look what you done did Got sent up for an eight-year bid Now your manhood is took And you're a May tax been the next two years

As an undercover fag being used And abused to serve like hell To one day you was found hung dead in the cell It was plain to see that your life was lost You was cold and your body swung back and far But now your eyes sing the sad sad song Or how you live so fast and die so young So don't push me

Cause I'm close to the edge I'm trying now trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep them going under. It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep them going under. Yo, Mel, you see that girl, man? Yeah, man. Yo, that sounds like cowboy, man.

Yo, what's up, money? Nah, where's greele and Rahim, man, man? Hey, up, stands cooling out. So what's up for the night, y'all? Yo, we can go down to the feet, man. Check out you, bubub, man. Hey, yo, you know that girl, Betty? Yeah.

Come on, John Goddman. Not yet, she got hurt.