The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #468 - Wheeler Walker Jr.

Episode Date: March 29, 2017

Wheeler Walker Jr, a country music singer, whose new album "Ol' Wheeler" is being released on June 2nd, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Lyft - Sign up to drive at Lyft.com/joey and find out how you qualify to get a $500 new driver bonus.    Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 03/27/2017.

Uncle Joey here, bitches. Listen, let's start this party off right. Every time I've taken Lyft to the airport, it's tremendous. Whether the ride, the driver, they've got the purple light in front now, a little light in front to let you know they're in the house. The driver's always great. I always have a great conversation. I've got to go on the 405, which is a pain in the ass.

What I'm trying to say is when you drive for the right, right-sharing app, every trip can feel like a walk in the park. With Lyft, you can pick your own up. hours and work when you want. Lift can make driving the best job in the world. I'm going to do your favor. All right. Go to live.com. Today and I'm going to give you a $500 new driver bonus. That's lift.com today slash Joey. Lift.com slash Joey and I'm going to give you a $500 new driver bonus. Limited time terms apply. Number two, bidase are back. There's no reason to walk around with a stinky fucking pussy and a stinky fucking asshole all embarrassed and shit. Somebody,

You want to eat your ass. You got to call a timeout and go take a whiff. Fuck that. Bidays are back. And the church of what's happened now would like to introduce the best portable bidet out in the market. A portable device that sprays your butthole clean with water. You understand me?

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You even look at your mom cooking? And you're like, I wonder what her ass smells like. Anyway, go to hellotushy.com. Hit it, Lee. Oh, shit. Wheel of Walker, Junie in the house. American by Burton, Southern by the grace of God. There you go.

Everything I do, I do it right. New York and California, you can go and have your fun. Here I got a list of what I like. There you go, cock suckers. The church of what's happened now. Wheeler Walker Jr., Lee Syatt. Hit the siren, cocksucker. Let these people know what time it is.

You're slipping already. See, it should have been portable. Man, he almost fucking died. He almost did. You see what I'm saying? There you go. It's all over. Uncle Joey's here, and he ain't bringing the fucking cops.

You had him there waiting for me, cocksucker. Anyway, Monday. or whatever the fuck you're going to listen to this shit. Wednesday, March 29. My main man's here. It's a pleasure to have you on the show. Man, I'm such a fan. I'm so happy to be here.

I appreciate it. I'll tell you what, I've been on a lot of podcasts, a decent amount. I've never had this much fun this early before. Oh, please. This guy almost died. We're in the first fucking minute, and we're in the big time partying here. Oh, yeah. We know we have.

We have to have fun here. And you, you were like the nicest person that's ever come in here. I come here, I cough. I've puked on people like next to people before. Well, I thought you were dying. And you can, I took one one one hit. He was ready to call the police. No, you ready to do another one?

He caught him as well. No. This guy coughed for fucking half an hour. Oh my God. His face was beat, beat red, like those stars. How many stars did you eat in there? I had two of the transmission fluids. Well, you got eight five more stars.

I got the part of six, seven more stars. It's Monday night. We ain't fucking around tonight. Wheeler came all the way up from Tennessee. Not to, you know, I'm on left. I want to see this guy fucking dead. Yeah, no, no. You have no idea.

We got an ambulance on call right now. Hit the buzzer. Hit the fucking siren. We got the ambulance on call here tonight. There you go. He's right around the corner of the shit. Help, send help. We got noise effects and everything for you tonight.

We're going deep into the murky waters. How was your weekend, Lisa? I had a good weekend. What did I do this weekend? You know what? Actually, I went to Santa Monica on Friday. You walked around. I did.

I actually went to Santa Monica. I went up and I, like an idiot. I was a few minutes late. I missed seeing actually Willie do the show. but I got to see him after. He had two great shows that I was told. That was great. The ice house is fucking great.

I don't know. It's so much fun. Intimate. The drinks are good. Oh, my God. The staff is friendly. Nobody bust your balls. What did you do last weekend, brother?

Me, I saw some, I saw some fucking country music, actually, some good. You ever heard Nikki Lane? She's really good. You got to check her out. Did you watch her in Nashville or here? I was here. I got here a few days early. She just played the L-ray and fucking packed.

house. Prettiest girl and she can sing her ass off and the band was great. And she might, am I going to get myself in trouble? She might be singing on my new record, but I don't know if I'm supposed to say it. Now your new record comes out

June 2nd, that new record or another another? That one, no, no. June 2nd, that one comes out. The new one and that's the one that she may or may not sing on but I forget if I'm allowed to say or not now the first time I saw you was on Rogan I listened to the jam I went to a friend's house two weeks ago to watch a fight and one of his buddies was there and he goes have you seen this band something sad but they put

mask on I go turn it off like I don't even want to hear that shit you know what I'm saying like I don't like that shit I like music you want to play music play fucking music Well, that's why I'm a fan. You love all the shit I love, you know, like Skinner, Sabbath, you know. Jesus Christ. That real, real shit, yeah. It's crazy. Like, whenever I get confused about what I'm supposed to do, I'll read a book or something, I'll write a little bit, and I'll put on Skinner. And I'll put on one of the shows they did, like one of the videos from the shows they did in England, one of the shows in Oakland, or the black and white one from Asbury Park, New Jersey. I'll watch all that shit for hours at 3 in the morning.

Like when I don't need to be doing something and I wake up in the middle night all fucking dazzled. And what I get from it is they didn't give a fuck. That's why I never that good. Well, that's the crazy. That's the bottom line. What's crazy is when I was in high school in Kentucky

was like Skinner wasn't cool. It was like there were rednecks and they were like super rednecks you know, like you didn't want to be like the, like it was almost like Skinnerd was like the not cool band and then after school you're like you play it you're like how the fuck do I miss out on this is the best fucking shit I ever heard

like you was it today you tweeted about Simple Man recently yeah today today is there a better fucking song in that no there isn't no there isn't it's just perfection you know but I like that other one too that the whiskey bottle brand new car oak tree you're in my way who comes up with that

Yeah, it doesn't it seem like they just got fucked up and jammed kind of for a while? Whatever they did was working. Like, whatever they were doing. Yeah, I mean, those first, especially to me the first two records are like, there's not a bum note. I mean, they're both perfect records. Like, they were musicians. When I watched that video, I love watching musicians. Tuesday's Gone, you like that?

Tuesday's Gone. I love that song. I love watching musicians. Like, I loved the whole watching the drummer, you know, watch the bass player for a while. I watch the guitar player And then in my mind I try to figure out How the fuck are they putting it all together?

The brilliance that you have Is the lyrics I fucking love all that shit Thanks, man My biggest Not fear, nothing like that My biggest envy Is people who can write lyrics

I think that's the toughest fucking thing I'll tell you what You know, when I try to, because people come to me now They want me to write songs for other artists and I'll try to do it. My thing was I wasn't trying to be funny. It was just like I was so fucking pit.

When I made that record, I think you can hear it on the record, the first one, redneck shit, which I do a plug. It's only $5.99 on iTunes. How about that? That's fucking cheap. Cheap. I was like, I just, I don't want to fucking take, like, usually you write a song, the way you would probably write your joke, you know,

although you don't have to stip it, but usually you write fuck shit. You can't say it on radio. X it out. So I was like, I'm just going to make a record where I'm not going to fucking X out any of the bad. I'm just going to, if I'm paying for it. myself I'm just gonna record it the way I want to do it and I and of course I'd look back at the band the studio guys and they're just fucking on the floor laughing you know because like you're not supposed to sing fuck you bitch in the song you don't how you gonna get on the radio I'm like I'm not gonna get on the radio anyway may as well sing what I want to sing you know oh you were saying like you didn't want to be a redneck like I come from I'm from Boston and up there like it's there's a real negative look on like the whole south so like it's weird it's interesting dressing to hear even in the South. You don't want to be seen as a minute.

Well, it's weird, yeah. It's kind of like, it's almost like family. It's like when I'm in, when I was in Kentucky, I didn't want to be too much of redneck. Then I'm, when I'm out here in L.A., all of a sudden, I'm the most southern guy you've ever met, you know. It's like, don't make fun of the fuck, you know, especially out here, you know, L.A. is like very, what's the, I mean, I don't want to say, I don't get into politics, like, liberal. But it's like, you know, it's like a whole other world and they make fun of, like, the red states. Well, they look down. They naturally look down.

These fucking mutts out here naturally look down on that. And it's something that's not, they don't talk about. It's something that's in their DNA. Yeah, but. Like it's in their DNA. Like if you say you're from Kentucky or Tennessee or Alabama out here, they giggle. Yeah, I remember they did that to my brother. My brother went off to school and he was like, I remember I'd never heard this joke before,

but some guy came up to him up to him. man, your phone bills must be so high. He's like, why? He's like, because you dock so slow on the phone. He's back when you had to pay your fucking phone bills by the minute. And I never even, I didn't know he had an accent. It's like, you know, when you're in it, when you're in Kentucky, you don't, to me, my family didn't have an accent.

Then you lead the state, and all of a sudden everyone's calling you a redneck. You get, it hits you really fast. You're like, oh, fuck, I'm the dude I was making fun of back when I was a kid, you know. I got it. By the age of like nine or ten. I got it. I was living in New York City, but I'd go to Florida. Isn't it weird sometimes that Florida's the South?

You forget. I go to Florida, and they had kids that were move in from the redneck parts of Florida. Like the parents got into drug dealing or the father became a pilot or something, because that's who was doing all the fucking mule and bad-ass rednecks and shit. And I went to his house once or something. They were playing music. My mom played country music at the bar. She had a couple songs.

I can't remember who today. I know she personally liked Johnny Cash, my mom. She took me to the movies to see that movie when it came out in 40 seconds. We went together. So she personally liked Johnny Cash. So I always liked it. When I became enthralled with it, it's with sports. I saw how the people that I grew up with acted, and I saw how the people in Texas when they watch the football game, how they act.

What's the difference? They're both fans, but in Texas it seemed like their heart was really into it. Where the people I hung out were doing it for gambling purposes or to wear the jersey. So yeah, that was going to say that where I come from, there was no gambling. It was like, which is a weird thing when you get to bigger cities. It's all about gambling. Like, you didn't need, people would kill themselves over the games without the fucking, they didn't need, they didn't need to raise the stakes at all, man. It's like Kentucky just lost in the tournament Sunday.

And I got on the phone with my nephew, and he was crying his ass off. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, it's real. And I remember, like, watching the thing that really pushed me over the top was watching Earl Campbell. And Monday Night Football and how those people would get pom-poms. And when he scored, they would all sing that song. Hughes and their no-o-o-loid, all their fucking pom-pons. And I couldn't wait to go to the tax. And I would ask people, you know, like adults in Jersey, I want to go to Texas and they'd say,

what are you fucking crazy? They'll kill you down there. Their initial reaction was always ill. You know, that's the way their program. It's nothing against them. They just see it that way. There's just a bunch of redneck next time they. They don't get it?

Yeah, I feel like it's, don't you think it's kind of getting worse with this last election? I feel like it's kind of, again, I don't mean to steer into politics, but I feel like, as of late the the uh the quote unquote redneck has been part of the news even it's like you it's always every news and i don't i'm with you i don't if i wouldn't ever watch the news again i'll be happy but it's like it's you dopes who fuck who fucking voted for them it's your fucking you know it's like now look what you did everyone's they're yelling at them you know that's that's all i see oh that's the worst fucking thing in the world that's going on right now it's the worst it's not even it's not even funny anymore it's not even funny anymore it's not even worth putting your tv on

anymore really isn't whether it's cnn whatever the fuck you put on it's 15 minutes of this shit people fucking screaming it's 15 minutes of this shit i can't i don't even watch it no more i live for five o'clock news and six dirty news i stopped i stopped world news tonight that's it no more it's not even but to to go back to your question my wife's in tennessee yes you're You were saying. And I've been with my wife since 1999. And when I first met my wife, my wife was trying to act. You met her out here?

Yeah. And she always came home with a story. And I know from, you know, it's like when you try to talk to a girl, and go, listen, you've got a reputation of sucking dicks. And she'll go, what are you talking about? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I hang out with six guys and you sucked all six of their dicks. Okay, what do you think?

We don't fucking talk. It's like they act. It's like I had a friend here that had a Mexican chick living, not living in a house, you know, cleaning her house. And every time I go over there, there were people there, they'd act like the woman wasn't even in the fucking room. Yeah, that's not cool. No, it was like a natural thing for them. It's not their fault. It's not their fault.

It's a natural thing in you that you look upon them or you look down on them. And I think the same thing happens with people out here, people in the East Coast especially. how they look at people from the south. I always got it. I love the South. That was your first thing you said to me. You said you're a Cuban-Rabic. I'm a Cuban, first floor.

I want to find out what that is. Where's Cuba? It's even more South than fucking Miami. I never thought about it. So that's number one. How much southerners can fucking be. Number two, I appreciate and I love everything about the culture. And I get the fucking culture, you know.

I get the culture. I get my wife. Listen, I don't really want to go visit. my wife's family in May. I can't lie to you. It's four days of fucking torture. There's only one thing I go back for, and that's the least fried chicken in the Walmart.

The best Walmart in the world. I got two sweaters from Walmart seven years ago, American-made. They've gone through two laundry machines. They're the best sweaters I got. I buy all my shit when I go back to Tennessee. All that fat man clothes, you got to buy it in Tennessee.

That's what they make it good. I will say that, not really on topic, but L.A. is at least, I actually like New York City for me I'm not even joking when I say this I don't think I've been there 10 times in my life like I went there once as a kid and I fucking flipped

when you go from Kentucky to New York City for the first time it's quick it's just like it's fast brother it looks I freaked out like I'd never seen homeless people I'd never seen there's like stereo stores on every fucking corner I was with my grandma from she's from Nashville she was from Nashville we went there and we had dinner and there was like a window right here. And some homeless dude just walked up right to us.

Just fucking dropped his drawers while we were eating dinner. I think it was probably the first dick I saw besides mine. And I'm sitting there with my grandma trying to eat a fucking burger. How old are you? I was probably 10 or 11. She's like, you know, you need to go see a big city. But at least, and I'm saying this is like, you know, I'm being honest. Like the big buildings and it fucking flipped.

It freaked me out, man. It's not, I haven't lived there in 20 years. Because I was listening to, was it last week? you the Jim, is it Jim Florend? Yeah, Jim Florenton. Who I know from Stern. I mean, I don't know him, but I've heard him on Stern a lot. That's why I love this of this show because I listen to you guys talk about New York City, like specific blocks and shit.

I don't know New York City from my asshole. I listen to the whole two-hour podcast of you guys talking about little bars and shit, you know. I was like, it reminded me. I don't know. I got to go explore New York a little bit, man. I haven't spent much time on this all. does it seem like the same country as like when you go to New York

and L.A., like just the way you're like, it just almost seems like we shouldn't be the same country. Like not in any negative way, but just... You're going to get yourself in trouble here. It's crazy. I think, I get it, I think it's the way probably for you, I mean, for me, like I said, for me, New York City

didn't seem like the same fucking country when I visited. But probably for some, if you're from New York City and you go to Kentucky, I assume it's fucking feels, Crazy. You feel, when I was a kid that went from Miami, from New York City to Miami, and even though Miami was a big city then, not as big as it as now, I would get a little, you know, you go to the store and do a drive-thru store and get milk or whatever.

I travel every week, and I'll tell you what saves me is when I go to the different states. It lets me know that my hope is still alive, that people still think the way I do in some cases. you know, I do well in Nashville. You said you're playing Lexington. Yeah, I'm doing Lexington. The last time I did Lexington, some guy ran out and said, I'm a Christian. Fuck you, fat boy. Some shit like that.

But none of that stuff bothered. Like, none of that, I never looked at it like that. I got what Lee meant to say in a way, which is true. When you go to New York to fucking, when you go from New York to, to, uh, Jackson, Tennessee, which, by the way, I got to tell you something about Jackson, Tennessee. I had some of the best spaghetti I've ever had more life in Jackson, Tennessee. See, I've had great pizza in Nashville. My mind is open.

Well, Nashville is basically a big city. Yeah, my mind is open where a lot of people's isn't. Do you play Nashville? Fuck yeah. I developed as a canal. 15 years ago, I couldn't play Nashville. Well, that's a different. That's a difference.

It was a different Nashville. It was a little bit more Christian. I bombed. I saw Doug Stanhold bomb. I said, I'll never come back to Nashville. Yeah, because my, all of my mom's side of my family is from there. So I've been going there since I was a kid before I moved there. And when I was a kid, it was a ghost town.

And you might see Crystal Gale at the grocery or Loretta Lynn walking around. And nowadays, it's fucking, it's turned into Vegas. Stephen Tyler. It's fucking amazing. How many people live in Nashville? Yeah, we had Ralphie May in here a couple weeks ago, and he was saying how it's amazing. It's like he loves it. Oh, yeah.

Is Ralph, I got to, is he cool? I don't know him. Yeah, he's a good dude. He wanted to do some shows with me. And I don't, my problem is, the agents call so-and-so wants to do a show, and I just won't get back to him. But he wanted to do some shows, I should probably get back to him. If he's cool. Yeah, he's cool as fuck.

You have a good time with him. But no, that's how I look at. Like, I was always open-minded to it. I developed as a comic in the state of Texas. I own the state of Texas a lot. Name it. Because when I was a kid, we lived in Houston for a couple years. From Lubbock to El Paso, to Victoria, to Corpus Christi, to Houston, to Dallas, to Addison, to Austin, or no?

Austin, Conroe, Pasadena, Texas, Beaumont, Texas. Texas was very good to me, man. There's bands I know, there's artists I know who you literally know one I aren't listening would have ever heard of, who are country musicians, who are millionaires in Texas. and they don't leave the state. They just tour Texas. No, that's it. It's like its own country.

Texas is here. As a comic, you could spend a month and a half in Texas. Well, you could, I bet there's plenty of comics, too, who are just only play Texas and make millions, I bet. Well, you know, they have a lot of little rooms that those agents won't call me. You know, they have a lot of little rooms that other comics have that I'm not aware of. But I developed in Texas. I didn't know that.

I never really went to Alabama. I went to a couple of schools. spots in Louisiana. I did well in Tupelo one time, maybe 15 years ago as a feature act. I ate dick in New Orleans, but New Orleans ain't no motherfucking comedy city. And where else?

Clark, Tennessee, I ate a bag of dicks and a fucking army base. Yeah, I opened up, I didn't have the money to pay the band, so I opened up for David Allen Coe and Chattanooga. Just me with an acoustic guitar and fucking yeah, I ate a bag of dicks there. I mean, it was like,

There's two, it's almost like you, it's like it's almost, there was no, not enough noise. Now, Chattanooga's a college town. No, I don't think so. I don't know. Yeah. What's in Chattanooga? University of Tennessee? No, that's Knoxville.

Knoxville, you're right. The Chattanooga was, has the trains, but the, Chattanooga actually used to be almost bigger in Nashville because it had the Chattanooga Choochoo. It used to be the place to be. Now, Knoxville was good to me, too. They got a good record store in Knoxville. haven't been there again in 15 years this is I'll say even for me as a country musician

you know in all if it makes you feel better the more almost deep south I go the less the audiences show up just because you know like I can sell out a show in LA because you only got to sell

to 1% of the fucking city once you get down to like lower south in small towns like to sell out the gig everyone town's got to fucking show up it's just tougher it's like they're not on the internet they're on Twitter They don't give a fuck about that shit.

So even with country music, it's tough. Now, when you go to Nashville and play, a lot of people show up? Yeah, decent. Well, we're doing, can I do it my second plug? We're doing three dates to three record release shows. June 2nd in Nashville at the exit end, June 6th, New York City, Bowery Ballroom, never been there.

Is it cool? I've never been there. June 8th, L.A. Tribador. You guys want to come? Yeah, June 8th. What night is that a Thursday? I have no fucking... Yeah, something.

It looks like I got a date and Bray. I got Bray that weekend. Well, if you got some time, we got an opening ban, you can do a little, some jokes between... Yeah, no, no, no. Do some jokes between bands.

If I'm here on June 8th, I'll go watch. Absolutely, I'll go watch it the Trubador door, because Dan Tanners is right next door. So trust me, it's easy to get me together.

It was pretty good for country music I heard in the old day. Well, isn't that where the Eagles started? And Lingerer-Ronst that. Yeah, a lot of that kind. Is that country? I don't know. But yeah.

No, yeah. Easy listening is what they called it. Yeah, I hate that term. But yeah, I guess it was, you know, you can't deny that Eagles have good songs. But yeah, that's where all that shit started. Man, I love Flying Burrito Brothers. You ever listen to that? Yeah, a while back.

Grand Parsons and all that shit. That was all Trubidor, I think. We did that. We played it on our last tour. I remember because I love Guns and Roses. And Guns and Roses just played there to, like, to warm up for the show. He's explaining to me how, like, Axel would come back for his. There's like his like, what's it called?

Is it pep talk? Costume changes. I don't know if I'm supposed to say it, but he would take his like oxygen puffs and shit back there. I don't know. Yeah, when you, you know, that guy moves around a lot. The Trubador was probably their warm-up gig. That's not a big spot, is it? No, it was really small.

It was cool, cool to be there like a week or so after Axel and the gang and all them were there. Now, how long have you been playing music? I mean, I've been playing music my whole life, And you composed all these songs pretty much? Yeah, there were 11 songs on the redneck shit, the first record, the one you like, which I again, I appreciate. I wrote all those myself. There's 11 on the new one that's coming out June 2nd. And I wrote all, I wrote all those except for three I co-wrote with friends.

So I don't sing anything. I'll play like a Wayland song or Wayland cover live. I'll do a couple covers live, but I don't record anything that I don't write. When you do the Wayland songs, you throw a little zinger in there? Well, I do, I purposely do one that people don't know that. Well, it's called Outlaw Shit. It's one of my favorite songs ever. And Whalen, actually my buddy who did my records actually did this, did that.

It was actually, they finished it after he passed away. And Shooter Jennings, where he did it with Dave Cobb, an amazing producer who did my records and so the guys who because I played the song because the guys I knew in the in my band had played on the record it's like I'm going to play

fucking Whalen with the guys who played with Whelan and I found out later that they fucking this dudes didn't even fucking play on the record now do you work Texas a lot still no a little bit I'm gonna do I'll bet I'll do more this year but when you go down there where do you play well we this last you know

That's weird doing music because you don't, when the first album comes out, you don't know how big, do you play 100, 200,000, 5? We played like probably 500-ish rooms. You know what fucking sucks? We played a lot of these, like, I don't know if there's an equivalent in comedy, but we played a lot of these fucking, like, um. They have like a house of blues, which I fucking, you know, it's like, the almost like the fucking chilies of music clubs. I would do like chilies. And then they're like the main room and the second we play a lot of second like the second rooms where you're like we do a sound check and they're like hey man you got a mic for a kick drum I'm like I don't know no it's like oh shit they're using it upstairs like it was like leftovers almost I think they use it mainly for like fucking parties and shit

what they call that room there's a room for that at all the I don't know the house of blues but that's what I call my I call my I call my agent I go we don't play don't put me any more fucking shows where they're selling blue Brothers DVDs that's my new rule if they're selling the Blues Brothers DVD or they're selling or if they're selling top hats with a black fucking suit and tie I don't want to play there nothing against the Blues brothers but like it's not the best fucking sound in the world no well they all have those uh when I was in Louisiana shooting one time I called my age and I go yeah I want to do Louisiana is there anything in New Orleans he goes yeah there's a house of blues I'll get you a number for the room it was it was only set 114 people

that's it I was like I have to do 22 shows I might as well do that this little and they wanted a ton of loot so I had to do that a little theater right in the heart of yeah though we played new Orleans was the craziest gig we got in right before the fucking show because it was like some there was some

accident on the highway and we got him right it was actually trying to be a great gig but there weren't that many people there it was like it's like you're in fucking jazz you know you can see any music you want it's hard to like grab a grab an audience when there's like

fucking gray's jazz now I feel like you can fucking grab any audience like they'll be out of ball looking at the fucking college game and they'll go what the fuck did he just say yeah well that's the thing is you gotta you gotta get people to know about it but the problem is and where I had a blast last time was with like the scene you guys know which I didn't really know about

which is I'm gonna so I put out this dirty record and I'm like I'm not censoring you And then I was like My fucking people Which is just one fucking doofus It's like There's no radio There's no nothing

And I come out here I do Rogan I do You know Like Fitz Simmons I do all these podcasts and shit It's like It was bigger than any of my friends

Who'd ever done Fucking the Tonight Show Or any of that shit There's this underground thing You do YouTube channels And shit like that It's like The world is fucking opened up

To um And I'll tell you right now I actually just sent him, shot a message to Rogan before I came over here to tell him that was coming here. But he's like doing like 50 nights on the Tonight Show. Yeah, no, it's like that. The Tonight Show is like doing an HBO special for a comic if you go on there and fucking kill it. You know, today I was really upset. I've been upset all day until I came here to see you tonight.

Yeah, I'd cheer a lot of time. I got home like a 430. I'm trying to pitch a fucking TV show. You know and it's like I got to tell you in the middle of pitching it I'm like do I even when you fucking do this do I really want to even do this well am I yeah what's it was it your is start with you yeah it's it's a it's a show with pitching it's a great show it's great written but there's times I'm sitting there going what do I want a TV show that's fucking work isn't it weird how that happens you know that's work if I want to

do anything I might as well come in here every night at 8 o'clock And do an 8 o'clock fucking tonight show here. Got a band, get a house band, get a fucking studio. That's what I want to do is get on here from 8 to fucking watch it. I don't think we had this on the air, but I saw you when I was out here doing press and I did, I told you, I did Fitzsimmons podcast and he invited me out to do, to watch, go to a show at the improv. Like, I'll go.

And all these fucking kind of cool comedians, Galvanakis, Sarah Silverman, all came on stage. And then you came on stage. I'd never heard of you before. And you told me just now that you felt a little out of place, which I was like, I don't know if this guy fits in with the bill. And then five minutes in, I'm like, my new favorite comment.

Here's the funniest shit I ever heard because it was like mixed in with all that kind of weird kind of stuff. It was like, all right, this is, it's almost like pure country music. It's like, this is what I like. Fucking jokes. No, I had to go out of heavy that night. They weren't taken.

So you remember the gig? Oh, please. I know the gig because, Zach Gilefrancas called me and said, what the fuck was that tonight? Brody called me and said, Zach called me. He said that that was the craziest set he ever saw in his life. I had to go take it from him. I don't have time to be fucking around.

Oh, dude, you came on and you fucking mopped the floor. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was like watching Hendrix. The Hollywood Improv is very PC. Oh, yeah. And they try to PC it on you for certain shows. In that show, they try to be ha-ha and he-he. And you know what? I'm not going down to hill for you to be.

ha-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h again I go back but you had a fucking attitude that in a great way like kind of like fuck all you fuckers for even showing up or laugh that's that's kind of what I love well again we go back to Skinnard 76 at the Oakland Coliseum look at them on stage

look at the singer you didn't give a fuck he didn't jump around he didn't show you his tattoos his hair wasn't combed he probably smelled like a billy goat they were drinking Budwise out of a can and watch he's just ends the songs like this.

There's no jumping up and down and acting like you got to fuck. Nothing. Yes, the art of not giving a fuck. I think with my first record, I was like, you eliminate that. They're like, can we, they ask me for a bleeped version. I go, I own the fucking record. No, there's no bleep version because I go, I don't care if it sells. And then it started

taking off and I'm like, then you got to watch yourself because then I start, you start to care. You're like, should I have a bleeped version? No. Then you got to be like, then you got to be. Then you got to be like fucking... Lower that little. Your original thought is the right fucking instinct.

You know, it's when we double-check ourselves that we fuck up. It's when you listen to people, which is hard. That's hard too. It's hard these days because everyone has access to you, you know? No, well, the problem that you have, especially in our situation, is this is the podcast that we started from a ground root situation. And we've gone through all the hurdles ourselves, like you did. You follow these hurdles.

Yeah. And then it gets to a point that you have this growth. And now people are coming in and fuck them with your growth. Oh, dude, yeah. They fuck with your growth. And unless you tell them, knock it off, this ain't going to work unless you do it my way. I've been doing this since day one. You're a Johnny Come Lately type of motherfucker.

And now you want to give orders. It doesn't work. Well, Nashville's trying, like not even a joke. They're trying to fucking shut me down right now. And I don't they don't like what and I think they like the language is less of a problem in the fact that I'm doing it independently and putting it not myself Sure I think that's the that's the what they're supposed to most that's the most of the action They're like you know why don't you come to this big fucking label and I'm like fuck that up I want to Because if I's what I what you when I needed you dog?

Yeah, were you when I came in and you told me that that wouldn't sell that that wouldn't get radio play get the fuck out of here Where were you? You went nobody you showed up when I had a million hits anybody could show when you had a million fucking downloads and the record is I know I met with those fucking dudes How about one version where you say Instead of fuck you bitch

How about miss you girl? I'm like that's not what I'm trying to say Yeah no no no they have Listen They don't understand the power of the internet today They don't understand that And I don't want to harp on this But it's a reality

The first 90 days Trump had them By talking the truth this country's ready for the language. It's part of the country that's still not ready. You know, they're trying to make believe. They don't know what we're talking about. Like, you don't fuck your fucking secretary in the ass behind your wife's back.

But if I say tit, you get offended. Go fuck yourself. You know what I'm saying? You're banging your fucking babysitter, you disgusting, fucking savage. But if I say suck my dick on stage, you actually go back and ask for your $10 back. You measly fuck. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. Those are the people that pissed me to fuck off.

They're here. This is what I'm surrounded with. Yeah, it's fucking bullshit. Because I'm like, why can't, because I had that argument with my new record. I was talking about, and again, not to get on this. Like, I watched Meet the Press in the morning on NBC, and they're talking about, and they're showing a clip of the president talking about grabbing pussy. Why can't I play fuck you bitch on the radio or play Pussy King on the fucking radio?

And you know what? Don't even argue with them. Go, okay. Yeah. No worries. I'll come to the end. And what happens, what I didn't realize before I turned out, I was smarter than I thought it was an accident.

I was like, well, then don't, you can't have it. When you say you can't have it, no, everybody wants it. It's really crazy how even with the podcast, well, not our agents are starting, but all their advice is bad. All their advice is bad. They have a couple good things that they pop up with that you could independently test on your own without them, if you catch my drift.

But their ideas, they just want to burn you out. You know, after this next album, number two, the second album you put out, and it hits number one again and the whole thing. I hope it does. No, knock on what it is. It will, it will, because we need this right now. Yeah, well, that's my goal is I've never cared about the charts,

but I'm like, I want a number one country record, just to fucking throw in their face. Just to fuck with them. You know, listen, remember what you said? Here you go. You know, Madonna years ago, 10 years ago, raffled off all her rejection letters. They said people were running for the hills.

And she read them. This is what Lee Syatt said, President of Icom, you're a worthless bitch. You'll never work in this town. You know. Who said that? No.

It's like Madonna read all her rejection letters from back in the day. What the record executive said and where they are today and people who said she couldn't sing and all that shit, she raffled them off for charity years ago. something weird to do.

Yeah, because I think every artist has the same thing is people think, you know, like you watch them on TV. It's like, oh, they've got so much money, they don't care. But you take it more personally than fucking anybody. You know, like, I understand keeping all your rejection letters. I still got, you know, I remember every

motherfucker who told me I couldn't this album wouldn't sell or I couldn't do what I was doing. I remember, like I know their face, I know their name, I know their family, I know everything. Yeah, you remember for the rest of your life. Yeah, you never forget it. And you know what's crazy? That when you'll get to a certain level,

you want to walk up to them and rub it in their face. But at that time, you go, you know what? I won, and he knows it. There's nothing he could do. He can look me in the eye. And now he can tell me how he's going to book me. You know what I'm saying? He needs to book me and how he's missed me.

And how he always believed in me. It's amazing. I was the only one who believed in you. Yeah. And you know what? You, like, I could be the type of guy that could go, go fuck yourself. There's some people who have. I haven't said that to, but there's some people who, you know what, remember a couple of years ago you didn't want to pay me?

Well, then you got to pay me. Yeah, I'm not that. I send, I'm with you. I tend not to not hear that. You cannot, you cannot hold the grudge because somebody didn't pay attention or because you were a little older because you're fat or something like that. It's amazing. Right now I talk to our friend, Tommy Easton. And Tommy East is a funny guy from the South, just like you.

he doesn't understand what I see. Like when Tommy's this from Atlanta, and he's country, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So when he walks into this improv and this comedy store in these places, they look at you weird. So I said to him, eliminate that. Go get a commercial agent. You're a country boy. You're going to book every fucking country boy commercial they shoot.

And then you walk in there. And it's a complete different ballgame. Yeah, I got an offer for a big commercial. I'm so fucking pissed about it. Yeah. They took it back. I'm saying it's why I'm so pissed. But it was like, it was, I won't say the name of the company.

Some burger chain, they had this new, like, bourbon bacon burger, you know, with like burger with like fucking, it was a burger with like fucking bourbon and cheat. Right. Just shit. Asshole, you know. Right. That. Pigs assholes, whatever in it.

Yeah. Bourbon, barbecue sauce. That's like eating fucking sperm sauce. And they're like, and they were like, we don't think you do it. But if, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, I sell it. I said, fucking take them. I'm like, yeah, I'm in. And they can't, I think they probably heard this, didn't listen to the record. Yeah, that's how crazy I was. And then they, then all of a sudden, that next thing I know, the fucking, um, commercial deal is done. But I would,

I was ready to sell out right there. You know, I could just imagine when they, those four guys hit the, the country dudes years ago. How many people, you know, the dude, yeah, my, my hometown. Ron White and, uh, and Bill Lingval and, you know, Larry the, cable guy, you know, Larry the cable guy changed his persona and stuff like that, whatever, but I could just see people going, that's not going to work, they're redness. Fuck you, it's not going to

work. My hometown, they have a Rupp Arena, which is where the Kentucky plays basketball, 23,000 people. Jeff Foxx really comes in, sells out the fucking place with a microphone. The gig probably costs him $20 and he makes a fucking million bucks. He flies in, flies

right out after the gig of his own personal plane. So we were talking earlier about how like maybe a lot of people in different places don't listen to country or don't really understand the South. Why are there people like you and Jeff Foxworthy? I had his CD up in Boston. No way. I'd never been to the South. I had his CD. Because that's where it goes back to what I was saying before.

In Kentucky, you didn't listen to it because it was like wasn't cool. It was local shit, you know. I watched He-Haugh when I came from Cuba religiously. And I got it. I liked it. I enjoyed it. I didn't know I was going to end up marrying He-Haw. You know what I'm saying? That's not the goal of the show.

Oh, no, no. I'm married. Listen, the first time I took my niece to dinner in Nashville, me and my wife, my niece and the baby, we went and we went to Jimmy D's, this little medium-range steakhouse, no big deal. My niece asked me if she should get the gun because when we valet parked, the man was taking your car. That's how country she is. Damn.

that country my wife is fucking country jack and all she needs to do is call her parents in the morning for the first hour I live with he-ho then once she takes the kid to school and goes back to Ralph it smoothens out for a little while back to regular TV yeah rack the regular programming he all gets a bad rap but I'll tell you what they got some killer music I watched all those episodes

Buck Owens killing it Fuck yeah some of the great I mean great guitar car playing too it's like they had to ruin it with some of those lame jokes but I mean I heard they were bringing it back and I was like no it's like I heard they're bringing it back I was like I want to host a new he-hawn then I realized it would be shit so they still do mad TV or they can't I think they brought it back they brought it back but they didn't cancel it I don't think so maybe I can check no Adam raised on it a mere K I didn't

hear anything else about it but no you never know yeah you're right they probably bring back he-haul with somebody Puerto Rican they just brought back a cash cab with Ben Bailey. I don't know if you saw that. No, they did. Yeah. They're bringing it back and doing like a celebrity version. It's gonna be terrible. I hate that shit. What's the what was the show that they just put on Netflix? The kids the show that was on when I was a kid Popeye? No, no, the the sitcom the with the with the The Olson twins a full house. Yeah, I was like that shit show fucking sucked when I was a kid. Why they bring it like it? Like it's like the nostalgic and cool to bring it back. Fuck you.

We don't want to watch fucking some people do. Obviously it did well. I mean, I was like, everyone was like on the internet was like all excited. It's coming back. I was like, dude, you didn't watch that fucking try sitting through that show now. It's the worst fucking show. Half the shows you watch now, you're like,

how do the fuck do I watch this? What's the thing is I'll turn on? You go into this ether, you are every show. You watch it 10 years later and you're like, this is fucking terrible. I'll turn on, like, just to get motivated sometimes. I'll turn on like, you know, country, like the hit country radio station.

I'm like, this is fucking hip-hop. This is rednecks rapping over hip-hop beats. Like, I'd rather listen to NWA. I'm not going to listen to this fucking shitty country band. Now, your music taste is very broad. You love everything. I love everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I grew up probably, to be honest, because I was rebelling against where I was from. I grew up on probably more rock. Probably the shit you listen to the Sabbath and all that fucking, and Zeppelin and everything. And then I got into, like I said, when you kind of go out, it's like, no, no, a friend will play you whaling,

you'll be like, no, no, that's my music. You take authorship of it later. Who were your early influences? Well, me and the guy who produced my records, who's amazing, by the way, we had the same, we both agree, a bunch of my friends agree. It all starts with the Beatles for us. I don't know if you dug the Beatles,

but literally the first time I heard, I bet the first Buck Owen song I heard was Ringo singing Act naturally The cool thing about the Beatles was you could You could listen to it and hear every type You could hear Chuck Barry You could hear rest in peace You could hear

Helter Skelter was basically in metal You could hear like almost opera kind of And I mean classical music a little bit And like you know Eleanor Rigby Or you could hear country Like I said They would play a lot of country almost like a

they did like Carl Perkins shit you mean you could you could hear every type of music did you like the whole discography of the eagle the Beatles yeah I liked it all yeah everything the early shit drives me crazy I'm with you I mean I don't like 66 on

like that album and all that music Revolver and the white album Rubber Soul and the one when they went to India they went to India Aleta B No, uh, with the fucking heart, uh, the thing, but I don't know, Sergeant Pepper. I like Sergeant Pepper's, magical mystery tours. I like, I'm on the borderline of help.

Help. I'm with you, help, help, I like that song, but, you know. Help, after help, I like everything. It's weird. It's weird. I will say that I'm, I'm with you as, I don't find myself listening to early Beatles now, you know? No, no, no, no. It's like, it sounds like kind of, it's almost teeny bopper music.

But you know what? I fucking listen to music a lot, and you broadened me tonight when you said that the Beatles covered everything, because I got to tell you something, as soon as you said that I heard the chords, does she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, the beginning of it. And I was like, oh, shit, he's right.

I've heard that before. I have heard that before. Maybe somebody took it from them, not in the same chord, the same, da-na-na-na-na-not-that stuff, but just that twang in the chord that John Lennon had or George Harrison was the real catalyst there with the guitar.

But people don't know the Beatles anymore. The Beatles don't even fucking matter. Kids are growing up and hear three Beatles songs in the radio and they don't understand what the Beatles meant. I feel like when I was a kid, I don't know if you guys tell me, but I feel like when I was a kid,

maybe that timing was like the Beatles were, kind of cool, but Elvis was like Oldies music, and I feel like Beatles are not turning into oldies. But the problem with the Beatles is that unless you grew up with a generation that your parents played the Beatles. And my parents played a lot.

You're lost from the Beatles. All you knew about the Beatles is the radio. The songs on the radio. You really never put the whole... You never put on rubber soul or fucking... What's... Not tomorrow. Tomorrow never knows. That's the best fucking song. That's from a Revolver.

Revolver. They haven't listened to Revolver. They don't understand the whole, the changes those motherfuckers made. You know how a band can't stay together and have three albums? How many albums that these savages have? Just estimate. Give me an estimate. Someone told me that from the time they started until when they broke up, they put out, their whole career lasted the same amount that U2 takes between records. That's what someone told me. That U-2? The band U-2, you know. Yeah, yeah. On average, they said they take like six, seven years to make a new record.

That's how long the whole Beatles career was. That's it? Yeah. Their plane landed in New York is when people first heard of them. It was 63. They broke up in 70. The whole career was seven years. And how many albums did they put out?

I mean, probably 10. I mean, maybe more, but, well, it's weird because they had different. 12. They put out a different amount. The albums were different in England than here, some of them. So it's hard to say the exact amount. But he just said it 12. If you didn't listen to the Beatles,

what would you recommend somebody to start with? What album? Well, it would matter who the person was, I would say, I think what we just came across, Revolver is a good one that's kind of got a little bit of everything. I would actually, you know what Ozzie's favorite album of all time is, is the White Album. The White Album is,

The white album is great because, again, it's an example of you can get everything. I mean, Helter Skelter is more metal than most shit you'll, or more hard rock than most shit you'll hear nowadays. And you've got little ballads and weird fucking Ringo shit. It's all over the place. No, no, no. Nobody really listens. When I was growing up, people were really into the Beatles.

And then when John Lennon died, like a whole fucking era of people went away. Because that's what they were holding on to. that's what they were holding on to is the Beatles get back together. Seriously. I was 17 when he got shot. And I still remember going to New York that Sunday.

And at the time, I wasn't a beetle guy, bro. At the time, I did not want to listen to the Beatles or Springsteen. I was not interested. I was a Zeppelin, Sabbath, Pat Benatar. So you were against the Beatles.

I was against the Beatles because so many people like the Beatles. It drove me fucking bananas. And then years later in Colorado was when I got 66 to whatever. I'm like, wait a second. These cocksuckers won't or something.

The one you mentioned tomorrow never knows. That's my all-time favorite. That's a fucking killer. It's brilliant. You're on acid in that song. They brought the acid to you. That was the first time you ever tripped. The first time you hear that song. I don't know. You have to check in me. I think that was the first

time John Leonard took acid maybe. Well, they went to India or something. I don't know. I'm not a big historian. No, because I'm a big Beatles historian. I heard the Beatles were at a party in L.A. or something, and they took acid for the first time. Oh, there's a song, She Said, you know that one? She said, I know what it's like to be dead is Henry Fonda. They were all on acid at some party. Henry Fonda walked up to John Lennon and goes, I know what

what it's like to be dead. I'm John Lillan just took it and put it in that song. Yeah, those old fucking party days, you know. No, a lot of people don't even... Yeah, I would listen to Revolva, the White album. I definitely get Let It Be. Yeah, isn't it the way that Let It Be starred as their worst album? I think it's one of the best.

No, I like it. I like this. That's great. You know, I haven't had the physical beat of albums, which now I'm going to start going to buy physical beat albums. Next time I go to Burbank, I'm going to buy some physical beetle albums. It's time. You're absolutely right. I've neglected them all

the years. Well, I got you back into it. Well, it's important to it on a podcast to sell some Beatles records. It's funny because I'm trying to do a podcast right now. It's kind of falling apart, but I did I'm doing like call-in guests and I was talking to Bill Burr, who's the fucking funniest guy ever. He was a Wheeler fan, so I'm like maybe he'll do the podcast. He was nice enough to call

in. Who knows if this podcast will ever come up. But I was telling him he's like talking about like young want to be artists, like what they should it be into. I just got this this like 30 something disc set of Dylan on tour

with the band in 66. Playing the most killer rock and roll you ever heard and getting booed off the fucking stage every night. I don't know if you remember that... No. But when he went from folk to electric, they fucking

booed him on stage. And I've got someone for my birthday last year gave me it's a box set of every show they played on that tour and every show Dylan starts folk acoustic and then they move the band comes on and they play electric and you've never heard killer music like this

and they get booed it's like he helps keep things in perspective you know first of all the band is one of the best bands that people don't know about that's another thing people you know I played them one time

and people insulted me Yeah, I feel like they don't get their due a lot of the time. Listen, Neil Young doesn't exist anymore. What is that noise? It's going... There you see. No, it's nothing. It's...

It's something in that thing. That's why I told you to lower this. Lower the mics a little bit. Can you get a little closer? No, no, just lower the mics a little bit. Even if I'm far away, look how I'm far away right here, and they can hear it. Lower the mics a little bit.

Okay. There you go. Because that thing's buzzing the fuck out. You're... Are you listening over there? What are you? Listen, you saw him, he almost fucking died. Yeah, I don't know that a little bit.

He's probably hearing that on his own. Yeah. How are you doing, man? I'm doing good. He's ready for another bunk and that's the problem. Yeah, I don't know if I want to watch, though. Sure, everybody wants to watch later. Look, he's panicking already and shit.

He forgets that we get the weed that killed Lucifer. You fucking forget. You don't train on, and I know you got weed at your house. Don't tell me you don't. I have weed at the house. You have at least a half an ounce of the house. What happened? Do you only smoke here? Is that the deal? I eat edibles at home, but I don't smoke at home, really.

No, his girlfriend would beat him up. Oh, my God, I smoke all the time. He doesn't smoke all that. I took all that. I took one or two hits of this, and I'm fucking about to die. If he was on the balcony at night, his girlfriend would beat him fucking senseless. He went out there and smoked right now. He has no idea. When he's over here, he eats 10,000 stars, and he's over there.

He's 1350. I ain't 1,600. When? On Saturday. And what did you eat tonight? I don't know. You better eat those stars. Yeah, when I said I was coming on here, I got 8 million tweets.

Like, watch the fucking death stars, man. Watch the stars of death. Stars of death, yes. Why are you not training tonight? What do you think? We forgot about this. I mean, train. Well, you got to eat like half the bag now because you only got 500 milligrams in you.

Only. That's nothing. That's a walk in the park. What's a good amount? That's a different one has. When you told the girl at the store that someone had two of the TKO, she almost passed out. No, she didn't. She's nothing. You can do two tigails

and you sleep, like ten of those. Just a balance shot. You got like ten ready of rock. Look at you. This is peer pressure, man. He's a fucking savage, but he don't want to train no more. Come on, man. Don't get soft on me. I would never do that to you, Willer.

Thanks, dude. Don't even get me started. I'm the periscope debacle. If you think the Kennedy assassination is fucked up, you don't want to hear about the periscope debacle. Periscope to book. Well, he fakes stars, and made him double. How dare you?

All right, Wheeler. And I call him on the way home. No, I want to figure this. He doesn't get high. I call him at two. He's over there singing songs, watching Parks and Rec. And then the next day, I give him ten stars here, and you thought he saw the fucking the devil. He was here till four in the morning.

He barfed. He ordered pizza. I didn't barve. No, not that night. He ordered pizza. Have you taken enough edibles to barf? How many started you? I haven't eaten any.

So what are you waiting for? You keep telling you. Just empty the goddamn bag. You wait five. Come on, man. Yeah, you're playing games. What's the problem, man? You weigh 500 milligrams of TK.

That don't do nothing to you. Sure, it doesn't do anything. You got to mix them back. What's those last two in your hand? I can't, I don't stick eight of them around like you do. Just put five in your mouth and drink it. Let your intestines do the rest. That's what I do.

That's why I don't chew them. Just throw them in your mouth and drink the water over them and watch it. No, you're not one of those pussies of chews. And then he gets sick. And that's why I try to tell him. Just drink. Eat the whole star whole. How are you going to miss to swallow this thing?

This thing is like... I can eat three of those fucking things. Just throw them in your mouth and just drink the juice after it and watch what happened. Let the intestines do the work. Poor Lee, man. Please the savage of death. This is what he does on the weekends. They go.

They hold hands. He eats one star. He tells people he ate 13 milligrams. Shit, man. Is he going to bark from him? No, I'm not going to bark from him. Trust me, you'll know. I'll make a noise.

I know. I'll know. We did a podcast last week on Wednesday I must have got 20 fucking things about all the noises he made that night. Like when he gets really high, you'll hear little noises. That's probably what the noise was.

That's what it was. He's fucking, no, he only ate the turrets. My intestines is burning a hole. He didn't eat. The audience missed it, but right before it went on, this guy, I've never seen a cough like this. This dude coughed for fucking 30 minutes. Yeah, that's why. When was the last time he had a transmission fluid? It's been a few weeks.

Yeah, and so you're used to these. So I'm not used to these No, you're used to the star one Because you haven't gone outside the room What did you choke on? Was it the pipe or the bong? I choked the bong. He likes putting all the dark weed underneath it.

What's the dark weed? There's no fucking dark weed. It's the one that everyone's already smoked And that's why I don't know how you don't call. All right, I'm going to fill up with brand new weed for you, right? So you'll see that. I want to know what the black weed is. The black weed is what he calls smoked weed.

How is that? worse. It's the same shit. Don't listen to him. It's all. Yeah, Lee, you're fucking me me up. Why do you listen to him? He confuses people. He confuses the people. I thought he was part of the... Listen, it's all you need. That's all you need to know right there. You know what I'm saying? That's all you need.

He confuses the people in Periscope. This is brand new fucking weed. Check this out. Go ahead. There you go. Go for Brooklyn. This is the one that killed Abdullah. No, not Lee. Lee, Lee. Because now he's like a complaint that it's dark weed. No, I'm not.

Yes, he is. He's going to complain. I'm going to cough. You just took it out of my fucking mouth. Dead anyways. Let me put some more water on this. He don't need no water because you're going to flood it. It's perfect how it is.

Perfect. Don't touch nothing. You can cough plenty of all that. Yeah, don't touch nothing. In fact, you left drool in there before, so it gained an ounce. Oh, gross. No, I'm going to tease in you. Go ahead.

Hit that fucking soldier. It's Monday. It's the end of fucking March. That's it. That's it. There you go. Oh, shit. Is he going to do it again?

Oh, please. This is the one that killed Lucifer. Yeah, you go. Oh, here we go. Now he turns the vlog. This fucking, dude. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're going to kill this fucker.

This is what happened before. It's been a plan for years. Yeah. At least you know the ending to this. Most podcasts don't have an ending. Yeah, yeah, no, the ending. That's a total ending. We're going to shoot heroin for New Year's.

We're going to get a nurse to come in here and give us a... You know how long it'll take you to convince him to do heroin? I'm going to say four minutes. I'm not doing heroin. Put it in a fucking... In a gummy form, he'll shoot it. He won't know. He won't know nothing.

Hilarious. He's my dog. He knows I love him. He fucks around. I get him weed. I say, stay in training. When I go out of town, hit this before you go to the gym just one time.

He don't smoke. He don't listen. So that's what happens. He turns per. You see that before? Yeah, I saw Drew. I saw Drul down to his fucking dick. Oh, it was hysterical. He was done, but he's all right now. What's going on with those stars?

I hate three stars. I think I'm okay. Three stars don't do nothing. That's 850. What's that going to do to you? That's not, those don't even give you a headache. It's not even worth the gelatin. You might as well kill that bag. You're a soldier. It's Monday night. Come on, man. Monday night, you set the, listen, Monday night you set the fucking dog. Even I drank tonight. I drink one beer. I get fucking hammered. I got no alcohol resistance. I'll drink another one. Yeah, do it for a fucking wheeler.

For the South. Yeah. If you're not doing it for yourself, do it for the South. Do it for Kentucky. Do it for Kentucky. Sunday you're going to go to Kentucky, and they're going to see you on the street and go, you'll Lee Syatt. You ate a bunch of people. Did they like Jews in Kentucky?

They got tons of them. Yeah. Tons. Oh, please. They're all over the place. They even got a Cuban restaurant in Lexington. What is it? I don't know.

You got to look at that. I'll check it out. It's by the college. It's a fun little place. It smells a little greasy, but it does the tree. I'm just trying to think about it. They fried bananas and shit in there, so the Cuban set. What's it called plantains?

Yeah, they're good. I love that shit, yeah. But they got four Cuban restaurants, supposedly, in Louisville. Yeah, I don't go to Louisville much. Do you play there in Louisville? Yeah, actually, my last tour right before I did record the new record, I got, I'd never really toured much, and I fucking, I got, I got fucking lead. I got, I got so sick. I'd never been on the road that long

and I think it was just too much many nights of getting fucked up Yeah make some more noise That fucking bad, car's like turn it Upside down and go like this with your fingers Like finger bang it And they'll fall out But you're working against the gravity

There you go All the way to the valley Emerson College five fucking years There you go There you go They were stuck at the top I had the finger bag That's what the noise was

When me finger bang How many shone Five That's what you need. That's the party's done. How many did you eat already? This is all seven. Seven, that's it.

Seven, that's it, man. Sure. Dude, eat the bag. Eat the bag. It's Tuesday night. That's it. It's Easter. You're the anti-length.

How'd become Tuesday all of a sudden? Because by the time you wake up, it'll be Tuesday. That's what I'm saying. You'll be fine. Now, what's the between Louisville and, like, Lexington? Louisville is a big city compared to Lexington. Yeah, but I mean, I think, like you were saying before, it's all, it's, South is so sports oriented, you know, it's like,

you tent, you hate Louisville when you're in Lexington because of, you hate the Cardinals and you love the wildcats. It doesn't happen out here, you know, it's like, it's all sports related. You hate fucking Patino, you know, but you love, it's very, um, there's probably a, um, there's a, um, what's the where I'm looking? You got me too fucking stone. You know, they go at each other, you know. It's like, oh, you're a Louisville guy now? Lexington ain't good enough, you know.

So I don't know. I don't go to Louisville that much because it didn't seem like enough of a step. Oh, you know, it's like it's a little bit. It's like the same city. Now, is this the first time you're going to be performing in New York or you performed in New York before? We did one show in New York on the last tour. It was good. It was a real small place.

It was like 250. people and we sold it out pretty fast and this one's I think twice as big. Hopefully we can sell it out. I don't know. But like I said, I fucking, even then in this last tour I fucking flipped out. Well, that's what we were getting to that. Right now your second album's coming out. It'll be successful. I hope you're right. And all of a sudden your agent will call you

and say, listen, it's time to get a bus and do a 12-week tour. You know, you and your guys are excited, you know, when you do it. And listen, right away I'm crying because I shouldn't be fucking crying. People like Led Zeppelin, not even Led Zeppelin,

Black Sabbath went on the road for like three years and recorded on the road, didn't they? I mean, they were fucking animals. They didn't stop. Oh, I know guys who do that. Yeah, they don't stop. But that fucking, that's the thing is that bus costs fucking 20 grand day.

I mean, I have friends who have those big buses, but you got to make good money to pay that. You have to make a lot of money to cover expenses. That bus is so fucking expensive. And, you know, people don't realize how hard the road is, you know, how hard it is. When you're a kid, it sounds like fucking happened. When you're a kid, it's like nothing. When you're a kid,

you can do anything eight nights a fucking week. You know, when you're a kid, you can sleep on a couch and nothing happens to your back. What's the long as you've gone on the road as a coming? November to April. Well, that's pretty fucking long. Without going home at all? No, I would send clothes home. And I did that three times.

When I moved to Los Angeles, in 98, I found holes in my game. And I pretty much stayed out from 98, What do you mean by holes in your game? I just had holes in my game, man. Like I wasn't. And you went out to fix it. I was funny, but I didn't really get the concept of the set and a bunch of little things. I got putting between Nick DePaolo and Doug Stanhope, and I ate a bag of dicks,

and I had to walk off the stage and watch both of them destroy well. And I said, you know what, I need to get seasoned. I need to get some legs under me. So I would do it old school style. I would just like book five out of the same. six weeks, I have like a week off, and I go. And from there, I start... And could you feel it? Like, oh, I'm getting... I'm better now?

Oh, when I come back here six, seven months later, yeah. Because I do a combination of everything. I do a combination of one-nighters, which toughens your skin, and I do good rooms to shave off the fat. That's smart. So, because what happens if you do a bunch of one-nighters, doesn't come here, you're going to have to shave off that fat eventually from different spots. Like, let's say I'm from Nashville, right? I got 30 to 5 minutes, but I got 15 minutes on Nashville. That shit don't work in Tupelo, Mississippi.

So you just lost 15 minutes, chap. So you better hip-hop and start pen-penseling those 15 fucking minutes. Well, it's funny you say that because I did Corolla this morning and they wanted us to perform live. I did a song live and I was like, my voice sounded like, shit, because I hadn't been on the road or been in the studio forever. and there's nothing there's no training you can do other than just going out and playing for five months that's the only training you can have but my singing on the new

record to me sounded awesome because I was I'd just gotten off the road four months on the road I was like how do I get my voice back to that shape you just got to go back and stuff there's no there's no there's no warm-ups or anything no you can do the exercises I know that vocalists do certain exercises

yeah I have my goose go go go go go go go and work go go go go go and doesn't do shit. But even that, nothing is close to being out there line. Yeah, the timing, the audience, the exposed. No, no, no. And that's, I knew to get better you couldn't do hip crowds.

You know, when you first start off comedy, you want to do New York and Vegas and Los Angeles. But you really have to learn how to perform in Buffalo on a cold night. You got to really learn how to perform in, uh, uh, Indiana. So what's your biggest city? Sorry if I'm asking the questions, but like, what's your, what's your best city? Like, where do you do the best? By podcast standards, San Francisco. No, but like, as far as getting a crowd to your shows. Oh, anywhere where this podcast reaches, we'll get a crowd. These people are fucking savages. Really? Yeah, these people are savages. Well, where it reaches everywhere. I've done shows in Paducah, and I've had people fucking show up in

little paduca which is great i've done shows in jackson had 60 70 people show up they've driven them from nashville or you know yeah that's how you start getting the big eyes when they drive yeah you know on nashville i get good numbers but you have to learn how to cut your teeth in those little towns you have to learn how to me to wake you up at 8 in the morning and go we look come on we got a 10-hour drive to our next city well i remember the the first night in my first tour We had a 5 a.m. radio interview. I woke up at 11. And I called up the radio station.

I'm like, are we late? Can we still come in? I'm like, they're like, you're fucking six hours late. There's been three shows since you fucking the show you met. And you're never allowing this radio station again. Like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, once you burn a bridge, you're done. Fuck, I'm like, fuck this station.

But that sleep is more important to me than any fucking radio station. Well, you know, this is it. Like this, this week I got to get up at four. the car picks me up at 4.30. For what? To go to the airport. I get to the airport. I fly to New York.

Fucking Thursday morning, I got to do radio at 8 a.m., which is 5 a.m. L.A. time. It's crazy. And then Friday, I'm probably going to have to do something. And Saturday, you sleep all day because my Sunday,

my Saturday night flight, I got to be there at fucking, I think, like, 4.45. Back here? No, I got to be at Kennedy Airport by 445. But the flight is back here? Yeah, so I'm pretty much getting off stage, going back to the room, laying down for an hour. I'll be packed and everything, and I get right in the fucking car, and I'm back here Sunday.

I mean, it's a life, but it's kind of tough. I only do it twice a month. Okay. Okay, I'm 54. I've got to take care of myself. That shit every week that they call you with and go, you have to go there. I don't have to do nothing. I just got a call that I'm playing Vegas this weekend.

They send me a flyer. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? There's a picture. There's a flyer of me with these two girls. on it? Where's the band? Who fucking booked? What the fuck's going on?

Did your agent contact you? I heard rumors of it, but I saw the flyer way before I agreed to anything. Nobody confirmed. They just said, they were all for you. What do you think? You said, I'm available.

We'll call you back, and also there's a flyer, and there's tickets being sold. I have no, I got to check up on it. Yeah, no, no. That's how fast this goes. Yeah. It moves fucking fast, you know? It's funny because before we came on the podcast

We were talking about scams People who And then I fell from one of the other I almost fell from it People who send your shit on the computer And We were talking about how dumb do you have to be Are we getting dumber?

You know, like what the fuck is going on? Which we never really answered We said we're going to answer on the podcast I don't know if we're getting dumber I think we're putting a lot of trust in the internet At times I don't even like purchasing. My wife handles all that stuff.

But I don't type numbers into a fucking thing. Yeah, what I was saying is I got an email the other day and saying that one of my email passwords was someone that I needed to change it. So I check, click on the email. It asked my name. I put it in. They asked my email address.

I put it in. Then they asked my, for my credit card information. I was about, seriously, taking my credit card out. I was about to type it. And I go, you know what? There's no. email place that needs your credit card to change your email password and I put it

down like you know it's like I was that close to being that one of those fucking dumb fucks and you know you're not you're never that fucking far away well you have to think about Lee said he got the call from the IRS people yeah I got that a couple of years like the first year that I didn't have a job they called me and they said uh it was like an automated message and like contact your uh representative or we recommend you get an attorney you owe such and such to the IRS and I got paranoid but luckily now with Google

you just look it up and the IRS even has a thing on their website that says we will never call you it's always going to be through the mail because so many they just busted one of the places in India but what were they trying to do to you they want you to uh they probably call you

and want to like have you pay what you supposedly owe to the IRS or immediately or the cops are going to come to your house and arrest you from your children. They had the scam on 2020 or one of those 60 minutes. It's fucking mind-boggling. Mind-boggling how much money people sent. Like, without even fucking thinking.

Like, really? Someone told me those junk mail things. Like, you were saying before we're on there, it was like, you only need a few people to send in some checks. Listen, I tell the story. This is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard about the American. Because it's like when I was a kid, there was a guy named Peter Lemongelo.

Nobody ever heard of Peter Lemongelo. But ABC, late night, had a commercial, The Best of Peter Lemongelo. 999, this guy sings all the songs. Nobody knew who Peter Lemongelo is. What the fuck's Peter Lemongelo? This is what I'm saying. Can you please look up who the fuck Peter Lemongelo is?

I'll never forget this. Peter Lemongelo was this singer that nobody knew about. And then once in the head the best of Peter Lemongelo. and he covered six or seven songs. And, like, it was the biggest scam of all fucking time. Oh, was he made out? I think I have the commercial. Player, yeah.

This is fucking crazy. But they did this other thing. I watched this on, like, some TV show 15 years ago, like HBO late night. This dildo company put an ad out. And they would have, and it wasn't Playboy, it wasn't on a high-level porno magazines. There was like a medium level one with chick show their assholes and shit like that. And the back page, they had this dildo that came with water and steam and smoke and no batteries.

You charged it. They must have had, it was 2495. They must have had $2,000 the first three months or something weird. And then a couple thousand after that. What this company did? They didn't even have a dildo. Didn't even have a dildo. They would take your money.

put in the bank and then cut you back a check that said we don't have the thing available but the check says it's from a dildo company no they have a dildo on the check this is way before the ATM machine you know what I'm saying you wouldn't go in it you're too embarrassed to yeah who's going to cast this check

with a dildo that's fucking genius so they made fucking millions they banged people out and some people reported it but this was pita lemon jello look at this Lemongelo Love 76 Watch for it

Witness a new dimension in entertainment Holy sure Peter Lemongelo A mood rock experience called Love 76 Yes Peter Lemongelo has created a new kind of music

That's both romantic and moving Just listen Sounds terrible. Can you believe this shit? So he didn't... This guy not really even exist? No. Nobody played...

Nobody ever heard of Peele Lemon fucking jokes. I know a lot about music. I never... No, nobody ever knew about people. They just put it out there at night, and they figured it cost them nothing to fucking get the commercials. Were there songs on it? Yeah, like songs.

He had one song that he probably wrote. Maybe he just covers. And the worst... It was like that dude in Vegas. Who the fuck goes to see that guy singing? people songs. The guy from vacation. I would never go see that fucking guy in a million years. Which guy is that?

That dude who fucks the mother in Vegas. What's his name that's been there for 2,000 years? He thinks he's Elvis. He was Elvis. Elvis used to bits lap. Wayne Newton. Oh, yeah. With that fucking costume on, I'm going to pay $20 to see Wayne Newton sing fucking by Tom Jones

songs. Get the fuck out of here. I don't have time for that shit. But this was all the little, I call them American ingenuity schemes. and they still have it's it's fucking smart to do that no when you go yeah not i went to i took my date out to dinner i know my wife my date i took my wife out to dinner we had to walk the room all so i go listen the way out we'll get mercy shoes here the baby get a pair of sneakers that sneakers that sneakers there when we're still online i saw all those things that they sell on tv late night

so you know we have stores of them i see on tv oh yeah what do you call that shit uh assing on tv no no no they had some of them had seen on tv no they had something for your wrist that you'll never use, you know, like the biggest scam of all time is the self-massage you're never going to use that. There's no self-massage. I got to stretch my arm to get the bottom of my fucking back. I'm twisting my shoulder to massage that gun. It ain't going to work. None of those things work. But they'll advertise, you know, the copper knee brace. That shit comes on at 9 o'clock at night, fat people are there. You know what? If I get that copper knee brace, maybe I'll exercise. No, you won't.

you'll drop the 2395. That shit don't work. That cop a fucking knee brace. I had one of those. I didn't order it from there. Somebody gave it to me a jet. I've ordered that shit on fucking TV, though. What's the thing you put in your door that you do pull up?

Yeah, yeah. And what happened? Well, no, I was stone and I'd taken an ambient. I woke up the next morning, there was a fucking box in my door. Two days later, there's a box in my door with a fucking pull-up machine. I'd use, I've literally done one pull-up in six years. No, you don't use none of that shit. You're never going to use all that buying stuff.

up you're never gonna use none of that shit apparently when i was fucked up i thought i needed to get you know now does ambium really make you black out like that no yeah no i forget shit yeah with booze or just straight i don't to straight i don't i try not to mix it with booze it's not good for you but um when i take it yeah i'll i'll fucking what it'll happen is i'll wake up next morning and there'll be a text from a girl's like you know what time tonight and i'll read through the text as i'll be like a girl i haven't talked to for years like we should we should hang out I was on Ambien. I don't remember.

I was like, me and you. It's like this friendship. Why are we friends? We need to take you to the next love. I like I get this fucking, like I get really cocky on Ambien, I guess. And I wake up and I got to, you know, it's almost like I should take Ambien to take her out to be back to that guy. You know, it's like a, I act like a, you know, I just start texting girls on the, all fucking I don't remember it at all. They say people have bought cars and cooked meals.

Oh, I believe it. On Ambien and not known what the fuck. the next day they woke it up and there's I think that's my subconscious wanting pussy maybe oh everybody's subconscious wants pussies and you you smoke a joint in your late night you want a piece of ass you're like man I take that ambient like I said the next morning it's just my phone is a bunch of texts of from all the night before is like speaking of a scams though have you do you guys like ever get worried about the credit card ones like the machines I always oh do you check I don't

check I pull them out I hit them at the gas station I cover the fucking number because there's people with telescopes, you've got to assume. Oh, yeah. You've got to assume. You've got to assume all that shit. When you go to a store and you stick your credit card, listen, when you stick your credit card in the machine, you're doomed. It's like we were discussing, you ever go to an airline, Southwest, any airline, and they say, put your ID in or your credit card. Everything's in your credit card, too.

Data birth, address, how old your kid is, everything's in that fucking credit card. So when you put them at the gas stations and all that shit, every time you, every time. time you use that out. Like I have a work credit card and then I have a credit card. They could steal the work credit card. You ain't going to get dick out of that. That goes in small increments. That's why I use it. I have to. I have a work credit card. And then I have one that I use at restaurants or whatever the fuck. But I have a work credit card. And then we have one university. What are you talking about covering it up? You cover it up. When you hit the numbers, you always got to be fucking safe, especially today. There's always some motherfucker that's cute or you have to assume.

Have you seen the videos of them putting the, they have machines that look like the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just, they put it on it, it fits right on, and it just has a little chip, and it transmits all the data. It's crazy. It's crazy. Where do they have those? At ATM machines.

And stores, yeah. Like basically a fake ATM? You put it in the machine on top. That's why when you, before you stick your card in, always grab that thing and pull it out. Oh, shit, I didn't know. Listen, every time you go to Vegas, with an, two months you're going to charge from Vegas. I don't know how they do it.

I know people go to Vegas and two weeks later, their account is clean that. And you think back, where did you go? You went to Vegas. All those things in Vegas. Because everybody who goes to Vegas, you either go to gamble or to scam people out of their money. More reason to cancel that gig.

No, you got to go to Vegas and do the gig. But when you go to Vegas, you've got to be very careful. You know, I was a thief. I didn't know a hotel rooms. Yeah. What kind of shit you do? Everything. every low life.

What's the craziest shit thing, you do? That won't get you in too much trouble. No, I robbed drug dealers and shit like that, but for a while, I worked hotel rooms. They're very easy. Now I can't do it. Now you can't do it. But back in the day, I would just wait.

I would just wait for a hotel. I would go to a hotel dressed up in a fucking suit with a Wall Street Journal. Like I was going to meet a friend there, and I'd say, what time does it? I'd contact, and then when they weren't looking, I'd slip in and go up to the third floor. I'm the type of guy in those days

that I would watch a maid and a lot of maids would put the keys in the door and leave the keys in the door and go in the fucking hotel room because I leave my shit in the hotel people, it's got to be a gold mine no no no no listen hotels A room

room number one I never nobody goes in my room you don't need to clean my room though which is what do not disturb all the time? That's not really a deterrent for a thief no no no no no no no no no but why have people eyes knowing what you have that aren't supposed to know

that's how it's done I worked security at the Crestwood when I was a kid at 19 and you have no idea and I was the bad one What's the Cresden? The Cresden was a hotel in Snowmast Village and I was security, there was two of us for five to work we had to walk around and drive people to the airport

and pick them up and shit like that and there was another guy that was there the guy that got me to John was a bigger thief than I was. He was scam. Hamner from two ways. He would watch you coming in. He knew you put money in the safe at the fucking hotel.

So he would watch when you went skiing and he'd get the key from the... No, no, no, no, no. You don't trust nobody. That's how you have to... When you go to a hotel, nobody. Well, that's my thing all the time. Nobody. When we play gigs, it's like, do I leave it in the hotel or backstage at the gig?

Nobody. Both of them are shit. No, no, no. I don't fuck around that. You know, we were talking about... What do you do? What do you do? Was it then? Hotel safe or nothing? I take everything with me.

Just keep it. Listen, you want to steal my fucking computer from 10 years ago that I want to throw out a window every two weeks? Go ahead, take it. There ain't no nude pictures in there. They ain't dick in there. In fact, I got two Gmail accounts with a podcast, and they're different computers. My house podcast, my house computer gets different emails than the Gmail on the road. I'll go on the road.

Like now, I haven't been on the road for three weeks. I open up that fucking computer. There's 2,000 emails. It's the weirdest fucking thing. So you could rob what are you going to rob my car? clothes. My iPod is one of those portable iPods. I buy those cheap ones so they fall on planes.

The circle thing? Yeah. The speakers, you could take those little fucking earpuds. So anything important, you keep on you. Yeah. Your Guitus, your credit card, your fucking license, and your phone. You keep on you. What else do you want to have on you? You got a ring in a chain

and you put it on. You go to the gym, you take it out and you put it in a... I try to not take anything too nice with me. Well, my thing is, too, is it's harder for musicians as the instruments was what me yeah i've done things weela that i can't believe i got away with that this this can't really be happening like when i was out there robbing you can't be this like i was writing a joke the other day i'm not i wasn't really a thief but if you're going to be that stupid i had to rob you like if you're going to be that stupid i got to rob me give me an example

i'm fascinated by this i was in the supermarket once i was fucking flat broke with my ex-wife it was a Friday in Aspen. And we probably have $22 for the weekend. We're buying like co-cuts and tuna fish and sodas. We were staying at a hotel on Main Street across the In-N-Out sandwich shop. This is wave, not In-N-Out burgers. This is fucking In-Out burgers. Wasn't even a thought.

And I'm in this fucking supermarket. And I see this fucking lady going through the products, reading the caloric intake. And shit, you don't need to fucking know. Just grab the fucking product. with her purse on the place where you put produce and the never looked sticking out and I just timed it it's just like a fighter when you're a thief you just time as soon as she goes back the timing and I just lipped the fucking envelope popped it walked around the corner of a 600 bucks in there if you're going to be that stupid I'm going to take it I got stuck in Santa Monica today I'm not proud of this I'm not proud of this at all and this will answer a lot of questions

for the people on the podcast. That was a time. I'd walk into fucking toys of us with my four-year-old daughter at the time. I'd walk in there with 60 bucks. I'd leave there with a bicycle and six of an hour worth the toys.

Without walking out of the fucking toy store. That was a time when I was in... You know how they have this? How did you do that? In those days, fake returns. You know, there was a time, you know, they did this movie last year about Back Out of Compton with a Fresh Out of Compton.

What's the name? Straight Out of Compton. And it's a great movie. I love it. I like Back Out of Compton. And they talk about him financing his early career with drug money. My early comedy career, 93, 94, 95, 96, I was a professional. shop with it if it didn't have fucking screws on it it I took it what do you think there

was a I don't give a fuck fuck the world attitude that allowed you do that oh yeah there was a there was a certain anger because what you're saying right now makes me like want to do it but like I could see years ago like when I was like if you don't give a fuck and you're fucking pissed off no I was angry at the world I wasn't happy with myself you know I had a low fucking esteem myself I didn't really give a fuck I was getting into comedy. I'd been divorced. I'd already been to prison.

I had nothing to lose anymore. I remember one day I'm going to pick up my daughter and it's Christmas Day. And I got $20. I got toys for her. That was the easy thing. But now I had to get decorations. So I fucking took like Christmas decorations

and duct taped them to the wall and a bunch of fucking Christmas things. And I got to get a tree. And I'll never forget this. I went to the Kmart. And next of the Kmart there was a tree lot. And as I woke up, you're not going to believe this. There's an envelope that says, pick a tree and put the money and checks in the fucking thing.

I reached my hand in there, $300, who knows. That's how I ate dinner that fucking. You know, I went back eight months later and gave the guy the money. Seriously? Yeah. That's the old school, but at that day, that helped me out. Why would somebody leave envelopes out there and leave? You know, I didn't take the checks.

I just took the cash. We were talking, we were pitching today in, in FX. And we were talking about the character, the Jew attorney. And I was telling them... Played by Lee? We're trying. And I was telling them a story that I got a job at the Alpine Country Club. I was fresh out of the bartending school.

I worked at the Sheridan Center, and they gave me a job. They got me... The only way you work at the Sheridan Center is by being trained at a bartending school. at the time is 1984 so they paid for your training was 200 bucks for two weeks you learn how to pull drinks it's bullshit yeah but when you're 18 you really believe it like I'm gonna bartending school make full on the night you know whatever but when I got suspended from the fucking Sheridan I didn't tell the American bartender school and part

of their deal is nationwide placement for the rest of your life if you go to the American bar if the American bartender school still exist If you go there, you get nationwide and they have schools all over the country. So when you move into the area, you go to that school and they'll give you fucking job placements if they have it. I wonder if I took one day a bartending class. Everybody did. Everybody wanted to be a bartender for everybody. Everybody saw that movie with Tom Cruise and told him to throw bottles.

I was going to get fucking pussy. But I went to, I got a job at the, I got a call from the American bartender in school. They go, listen. God, forget. They go, go down to the hour. Bine Country Club they're doing a banquet you're a banquet bartender you're gonna make $12.50 an hour now at this time I'm on the run I'm hiding low and fucking uh Fort Lee New Jersey I got people North Bergen looking for me and I'm still making my little moves to

the city and shit as long as I don't go back to North Bergen or around that area and I'd work this fucking thing and I see that there's a they're giving the head bartender a key and when people give him gifts he used to put them in the back room and what it was was a bar mitzvah all right and he went back there maybe a hundred times with envelopes and shit

he said to me listen I gotta go upstairs and cater apart every back in like two hours he left that key that fucking Momo on top of the register do you know my low life 20 year old self did that dude sounds like he was about to have a bad bar mitz

dog I hope he opened up every fucking envelope and I took the cash out of the envelopes. The ones that had checks, I just left them in there. And the ones that had cash, I just took them. I think I scam like $1,200. Did they have a lot of ones in it? I don't remember. I walked straight out.

Like, I didn't finish the shift. That's how crazy I was. Like, I didn't even care if they were going to pin it on me. Like, I didn't get it fun. Why were you not? What was the place you said you weren't allowed to go to? North Bergen. Why is that?

I owed money for Coke. I owed too many. people money for coke I'd rob a few drug dealers this is some fucking life this is craziness but I went and I did this bar mitz when I still remember going to home going what the fuck is going on with my life and I would go to Harlem and buy coke and weed and I became tight with the weed dealers they were all Cuban refugees and I go what do you guys make out of here they go we sell 25 bags for five dollars a piece we keep 25 dollars and I go you got to give I have $100?

I couldn't fucking believe it. So I would always threaten them. One day I'm going to come out here and I'll sell all these. One day I go out and the leader goes, come here. I'm short-handed today. I got to give you some weed. You have to sell it on the corner.

He gives me a bundle, 25 nickelbacks. I go, what do you want me to stand? He goes, you can stand anywhere you want. But if I was you, maybe go to the top of the corner. I went to the top of the corner and just started running. I just took off the fucking Port Authority. After I was, I was a savage.

Yeah, damn. This is the kind of shit growing up in Kentucky. think existed. Oh, no, I was a savage. I was a savage of clothes on. It was just a matter of time before somebody fucking shot me, Will. I'm very lucky. Did he come close to that?

Absolutely. Absolutely. You had a gunpoint at you? Yeah. Am I getting too serious? No, I had a knife one time in Aspen, and I had a guy that came up to me that had a gun on him. That's it. The next time we were in broad daylight. And he goes, next time I see you, I'm going to shoot you.

Yeah, that shit don't happen too much. John Wolf G. Jeff Warsaw. Jay, my man Jay from fucking Pittsburgh. I can't say your last name because you're a school teacher. Damien Gerard, Tim Norfolk, Mark Allen, Mike Ricks, and my main man always, Lorne Rosenker. I love you, motherfuckers. Also, don't forget, Levity Live this weekend, starting Thursday night.

And 420, Levity Live, Oxnard. So you're in Nyack this weekend. Come by. Or if you're fucking Oxnard on 420 or Santa Barbara or anywhere in that area, I'll be at the Levy Live Oxnard. Star 1 will be there, giving out stars, Leas and eat like 52 of them that night. Dick Syatt's going to be visiting from Florida. We're getting a hotel room.

It's going to be all over, but the fucking shouting. You know, I was telling you guys before the podcast, I don't click on Dick. Like when people send me all that shit online, but it goes back. to how we were raised wheeler i see people that shouldn't be talking to certain people you ever see that like go to hollywood i can't i still can't believe that you don't click on porn blow my mind no because that shit just jack your computer i could jerk off from fantasies okay i could jerk off through fantasy my computer's fucked then yeah no no no no you don't know what goes on that fucking years ago i clicked down to something like on 92 fucking things gay people were sending me

notices i don't need none of that shit my right yeah so i don't click on the dick i really don't i don't click on to dick when people send me stuff redo your banking or retype your information i just click it and take my chances i don't but it goes back to how i was raised because i see people you've got on hollywood boulevard yeah and see fucked up people on there and you see like a fucked up guy who stops tourists and is trying to scam like why come from you don't even stop don't challenge him because he's going to get you he's they didn't get you or the guy down the corners is going to get you. They're going to weaken you by eight people

approaching you. But if you don't stop, I don't stop at all. I've never stopped. My mother would not let me stop. You don't learn this shit where I'm from, I guess. No, you don't stop. Maybe that's why New York City still frees me out. Yeah, you don't stop. You keep walking. You don't make eye... I don't know what you're talking about. If they really get in your mug, you're from another country.

Especially Deutsch. You just say some two words and they go, oh, we're sorry, you just keep fucking walking. You know how many times I talk Italian? I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying in Italian. You'll get a German one time and then he'd be fucked. No, I never said German. I never...

You never speak to them? No. I don't just... Whatever the fuck they tell me they speak, I don't speak at all. You know, I don't talk, I don't stop to talk, because that's how they weaken you. Like, young girls, like, I'm going to raise my daughter. You don't have to stop. Excuse me, you don't know nothing.

I don't know nothing. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. If you don't make the contact, nothing can happen. Nothing can happen. Well, what happened? I pulled over to help some guy and he fucking. me in the ass well that's what you get for being a Christian you know what I'm saying that's what you're gonna be in a fucking Christian it's harsh man it's but it's

the truth when you see all these low-level scams people put on people on the internet especially I'm not what's the word internet sassy with scams savvy savvy but I know I wouldn't put my fucking credit card and birth certificate in there's I'm saying I like there's little things you know that you just can't do you know that's why I like Amazon I trust Amazon there's a couple companies you got to trust you give them the work credit but somebody's probably fucking gotten ripped off of Amazon but yeah I know my my mom did my mom did someone stole her Amazon gift card like they brought they

broke in her account and ordered stuff and then Amazon wouldn't give her the credit back never gave her back to she refuses to go to Amazon now because of they fucked it yeah it's uh and then and then that it's weird with that one because if you ever have to do a return like you have to go and ship it and then they don't have a number you have to go back and give them your number they call you it's weird so there's no perfect system anymore no i don't uh but it all goes back to that just don't get involved you don't know nothing i don't know nothing i'm sorry well i need i needed these lessons when i was a kid they talked to you they called you mr wheel and said you would write this song i don't know what you're

talking about because people come up to you with assumptions also that's the best. And I come up to you with assumptions of things you're going to do. What I get all the time now is people, like I don't know how they got my email or whatever, Facebook, like send me lyrics and fucking song ideas, hoping that probably that I'll write one close to that so they can fucking sue me.

But I try to just delete it real fast. No, it's really quick how they have different. When the DeSquot thing started getting popular with Rogan, it got obscene how they would work each one of us. Like I would get on the plane and Austin, I would go, you know this guy named John Smith? Yeah, he keeps emailing me about a TV show. Yeah. You know, and they want to talk to Rogan.

Rogan don't want to talk to nobody. If you want to talk to Rogan, you got to call his manager. He don't take a call, an offer. He don't know nothing. You send Rogan an offer and you just shot yourself in the fucking leg. And I got to be the same way because you got to cover yourself. You know, we try to be nice people. Yeah, come out to my birthday party.

I give me the cash you are and then you get to, you got to sleep in the barn with the meal. Or, you know, you got to go meet the whole fucking family. All that fucking shit. Yeah, you got to get that shit right. How about 10 grand to let my birthday? Sounds good. Yeah, that's it.

Or if not, it's a fucking nightmare. So when people contact me then, I don't even answer them back. You can contact me all you want about your fucking gigs. Go on IMDB and see what the fuck you got to contact and call them. That's your best shot. Because I got a wife and a kid, you know, I'm just not going to go to some fucking town and take my chances. I got to get covered, you know, the whole from fucking A to Z.

And I say this because I've been burnt 30 times. I've been burnt 30 times, you know. You say that you learn from experience. What was the worst burn you got, you think? Like a thousand bucks when I really fucking needed it. And how they get you? No ticket sales, not enough ticket sales. There's always a bullshit story.

But then that night I got a knock on my door from the radio station. He ran out in the radio station too. That was my fault. I got a deposit. I always got a deposit, and I got half of my deposit when I got half my pay when I got there. You know, a lot of clubs say they'll send a check. I'm like Chuck Berry, bitch. I leave with my cash.

You know, there's no reason to send me a fucking check. I remember we were leaving a gig and this guy wanted to take his picture with me. He's like, I'm the promoter. And I was in the fucking van. I was like, I didn't want to fuck. Like, I had, I was there for three hours. Take a picture then. So just leave.

Next day my manager calls, he's like, there's like 80 fucking people on your Facebook page saying that you were a cocksucker last night. It was that same dude who didn't get his picture taken. Like, black, like covered my Facebook page and like fucking insults and shit. And then, uh, I told my people that are just like, don't ever book me at this fucking, it's just like, it was a way to like make me look. It's trying to make me look like a fucking asshole, like saying that, like, I was being a dick, but they were, like, claiming that I was being a dick backstage.

Listen, two weeks ago, I was where Magubis in Baltimore, the place seats 300, 400 fucking people per show, okay? They have a certain area where you could mingle. You can't go out in between shows. You can't go out in between the first and second show. Because there's 700 people out there, and it's all congested. They're trying to clean out the room, and these people want to take it. take pictures so last week I didn't take pictures for the first show do I feel bad fuck yeah I felt bad but it's too much controversy people don't get it people

don't want to fucking do it people that you know like there's there'll be a line for people coming out of the second show and they'll be taking pictures but then they'll be a line for people going into the first show and they'll walk away from the line to take pictures instead of wait until after the show so then now there's an argument with them because they didn't walk away from the line it's always something so the club will tell the club told me like a year ago different clubs said do us a favor don't go out there in between shows because there's just too much it's too much confusion and our wait staff can't get the tables clean they can't run with

all those people in the hallways so that's the only time i won't take pictures is in between shows if they're busy and if the place shares the same door there's a lot of places i could send people out the back door and take the pictures from stage but then they're still in the way of the fucking waitstaff. So it's a no-win situation. People are going to get pissed off. You know, now people don't come to the late show or come Thursday. Now people don't come early because the places are small and they get packed.

Well, for you, you got to piss up. Unfortunately, it's better for you to piss off the fans and the owner, you know. No, no, no, no. I, fuck the owner. I'd rather, the people who pay to come see me, listen to the podcast and they're going to come see you. I love those motherfuckers. You got to, they're family. not even fans I don't want no fans that's when I was 13 these people are fucking

family sometimes I just it's just business I can't start to show an hour late because I took pictures do you follow them saying to you oh yeah it's business it's just straight up business they're trying to run a business I'm trying you know I can't start to show an hour and 15 late because both crowds are in the hallway the wait staff can't be productive so in return if I take pictures it's like the law I'm getting the law of diminishing returns. It's going to be too much. Let's just avoid the pictures the first show.

We'll take them the second show if you want. Go to a bar and come back. I hang out there for about an hour as long as I can. So you can't please everybody, is what I'm trying to say. That's the business we're in. And in life, you can't please everybody. People are going to get pissed off of you for doing certain things. I couldn't go to a wedding on Saturday.

She never comprehended it since the day she invited me. explained to her that it's 13 hours to come to your wedding and then I got to stay there for four days until night I can't do that I got a wife and a kid I got to help my wife out you know I got home today from traffic at 430 I left the house at 6 I didn't see the kid I would have loved to take that before I came here didn't work out that way she wanted to see me how to go outside and play fucking soccer with it till 630 and we ate dinner and I came over here if I don't do that then I won't have a family. Then I'll have a career, but I won't have a family.

I have nothing at home. And then when the kid's 18, she's a therapist saying that I didn't pay attention to her because I was a comedian. Do you understand me? Totally. It never fucking ends. So before that shit happens, I pay attention. That's what I need to do. It seems like you've got to kind of all figured out in a lot of ways.

When you fail so many times, you'll learn how to figure it out. I didn't write this fucking shit. I didn't write this. I'm a 54-year-old loser. learned it to write. You know, I got married. I bought the American Dream. And you got to the college, you're like, I want to do what?

I'm going to do what? I'm not doing that. And you change everything, and all of some people are unhappy. You end up with a divorce and a kid. And now you've got to run two families. Because guess what? As soon as you divorce your wife, there's always that hot chick that wants to come along. You got to start all over again.

So now you've got to pay child support. You got this chick here. You got to take her out for dinner on Friday. She's not going to suck your dick on an ice cube in the mouth. You know what I'm saying? Like Papa Likes on Friday night. It's a fucking nightmare. I mean, I will say I've probably learned more from failure than all.

No, you learn from failure. You learn from getting hit in the pocket. Oh, yeah. You know, you learn from getting hit in the pocket. You follow me? When you're giving somebody half your fucking money and you got to sell your house and you learn. I made a mistake. Next time I'm going to play a little fucking closer to my chest.

That's how you learn in life. It's not by reading a book because you're not going to listen or read. The Art of War is going to teach you how to, or the War of Artism, will teach you how to plan and strategize or both how to fucking get rid of your fears or whatever. But it's not going to tell you what to do and what not to do and what's a mistake and what's not a mistake. Nobody knows. You think Kenny Rogers, when he invested in that fucking chicken company, he thought they know, they came to him with a deal.

Who the fuck knows until you try it? Kenny Rogers That chicken was so shitty Oh my God, it was horrific Didn't Kenny Rogers ever go in there one time But they paid him a lump sum They used his name Oh dude he probably made a fucking

He paid him on a fortune That's how he got the face lift That's how he got the whole fucking That was a lot If that paid for that He sold a lot of fucking shit Yeah no But it's it's

You don't fucking get smart By fucking reading a book Or reading about Nostradamus You get smart by fucking family and then you decide what you're not not going to do no more i won't be doing that shit no more yeah oh totally i mean i've that's been my whole fucking career is one failure after another and then probably same thing that happened to you is when i said fuck it throw it all against the wall just said let's see what the fuck happens and then it works nothing happens until you put your

balls in the line totally nothing's going to happen nothing you're not going to lift yourself spiritually you're not going to lift yourself as a human being nothing has to you're not going to lift yourself as a human being nothing happens until you take chances well that record was my money on the fucking oh sure sure my money that didn't set didn't sell I lost the money but even that it wasn't about the money with you no it was never about the money with me at all Lee was it about the money when we started fucking around anything a hundred bucks a week doesn't yeah we're not about the money if you're doing this to get rich you don't really want to do this you have to do this because you feel it

and you're nuts and you believe in yourself and you're like you know what I'm do this and watch i'm gonna prove all of you is fucking wrong and that's exactly what you did which takes a lot of balls when i heard that pure fucking anger yeah pure anger you know and that's mixed and you take a chance and guess what if that wouldn't a work you didn't fucking Cheryl crows first album get yanked in the radio stations didn't elanis morrisett have a fucking album that was a disaster in canada then she came here listen you don't learn and then she fixed all the glitches she said oh wait a second I'm not a loud singer

I'm a fucking pop you know what I'm saying that's how you like I'm saying like Dylan getting booed off the stage yeah people booed fucking Bob Dylan for going electric yeah when he was just growing when he was growing he was inventing this new former rock he was inventing the band basically

yeah and growing no no no it's uh you I was watching something and they were talking about revenge you know that it's the same result but sometimes you lift from even pain, a parent dying, a brother dying, an animal. Sometimes you use pain to get to the next level. You know, there's next levels as a human being.

You're never going to know unless you jump in that fucking war. You never going to know what you could do unless you could jump in that war. Well, that's like that famous Dylan show, the Royal Albert Hall show in 66, was the famous Judas. Some guy in the crowd screamed Judas. Adam and he fucking flipped out. And he screams, I don't believe you. He looks back at the band. He goes, play it fucking loud. And they played like a Rolling Stone.

Most famous concert of all time, they're just calling them Judas. You can hear it. You can go buy the fucking records. You know, it's the best rock I've ever heard. Like I said, best band I've ever heard in my life and they're brewing him. What's going on, Lee? How are you feeling over that? How is that? Nothing. I'm feeling amazing. And then do nothing to you.

He feels amazing, but he can't get the word amazing. No, no. Let me tell you something. This kid is a fucking Jewish tank of debt. I could never sink him. I'll tap out before. He doesn't know. If he doesn't eat 2,000 stars, he doesn't know.

He'll stay at home. I will say he looks pretty good now. And then he'll tell me how he's not getting high on stars no more. I'll go Lee, because you ate 4 fucking stars and you ate 2,000 milligrams of me on a Monday night. How are you going to go backwards? You've got to go upwards. See, I always heard the weed wasn't a,

you couldn't get a tolerance. I guess not? Yes, you can. You get a tolerance to the stars. After a year, you get a tolerance to anything. If you smoke weed every day, that's why I never understood people bought a pound of weed.

Because after a week, you're not getting as high as you were the first time. And even if you take that weed and put it away for a while, you'll get high when you re-smoke it, but not as high as you did the fucking first time. I rotate weeds. I got one, two,

I got four weeds right now. I got two here. What kind of weeds are? Let me see the shit that killed Kennedy was we smoked the shit that made legal purple I got this shit that my friend grew up in the mountains And I got a container over there. I don't know what that is I don't even know what it's been there It's like a general weed for anybody wants to smoke but at the house I got a Something like Neptune O G and I got and I got some other shit that's what's Neptune O G them? I just left it there tonight because I had a

had all this shit i didn't know if you smoked and that i usually got four types of weed i smoke one in the morning one for lunch and i trick myself you know i'm saying like i'll trick myself and then i'll save the weed that's the strongest i'll save like two bowls for sunday when i get off the plane let's say i smoked that weed on monday when i get off the plane on sunday that weed's gonna be strong and you follow me no yeah no i don't i never thought about you got to play this shit you got to play the hand you got to trick your body league you know i know i don't look that great wheeler but like if you took this and no disrespect

like you would probably call the ambulance if you took what I took tonight yeah he took once if you would have smelled the Chinese man yeah no no give him five more minutes he turns into fucking general chow give him five more minutes

he don't look Chinese he'll be general chow over there and shit like that talk to me about this new arm you got coming up you press you press the record button it's uh it's called the new house you just fart no my new record you just fucking rip and farts I would never do that the police is

coming hit him with the sound effect though oh Jesus Christ this is 10 minutes can you believe what I got to do there you go right on time all right is a new album now what are you called it's called O' Wheeler there's one of my favorite records my favorite country records is called O' Whalen was Wayland records called O'Wiland and I was listening to a lot when I was making the record I'm like because the first albums you know know just they said a lot about first record just your whole life up till then then this one is just really my life from the first record to the the second one life

on the road and really being feeling like an old man like these fucking new apps where girls fucking texting you their fucking pussy's this new world that we're living in I don't understand fucking understand in some ways I'm not like an old man and I'm just kind of a man out of time I guess I should say like meet these fucking like girls tweet you their fucking twats and shit like this is this world like don't know. So it's really a record about an old, I guess maybe redneck gets old, the word to describe it, just a man out of time playing New York City and meeting

girls and just being lost really is what the, what kind of influenced the record. I'm so, I'm so happy with it. I think it's way better than the first one. All right. So where do you sell this album. iTunes? Yeah, what day is this coming out? Tomorrow? No, June 2nd. This comes out on Wednesday, the 29th. The 31st, you can start pre-ordering it on iTunes. Okay.

And also, I got, I decided to want me to do a sales pitch number 11. I was like, fuck, because I own it, I'm like, I'm going to keep the price down. You pre-order it, $6.99. Because to me, the digital file... That's tremendous. That's tremendous. Because I'm like, a digital file

is not a... Because I grew up with, like, you with records. Like, if you're going to buy a digital file, it's just a fucking file, like... Like insurance. But I'm saying it's like, it's like, yeah, like when you buy a... Because whatever, the digital companies are like,

well, you own it for life? I was like, yeah, when I bought Microsoft Word, I own it for life, but I could never fucking find it if you asked me to find my own computer old software programs for 10 years if I don't have that shit. So I just keep the digital copies low priced and just hopefully I'll sell more that way, but I don't mean to spend all my time talking about pricing.

But, yeah, starting this Friday, you can start pre-ordering it. And now you're going to tour this album? What cities are you going to? Well, we're doing a week of record release shows, the second in Nashville, 6th in New York, the 8th here. Hopefully you guys can make it out. And then after that, we're going to take a little, probably a couple weeks off and figure out what kind of tour we're going to do.

Are you going to release it on Pornhub again? Yeah, tomorrow morning I gotta get up fucking early Because I'm doing a shooting a video in the morning And then there's, I'm not making this shit up There's fucking naked titty's in the video We're gonna premiere the video This ain't no regular pop country shit We're premiering the fucking video

With naked tits on Pornhub See, that's ingenuity That's American ingenuity We ain't fucking around anymore That ain't Garth Brooks shit I had never heard of what you were talking about with Rogan, they used to release albums for free before they came out, like and stream them?

Well, yeah, no, a lot of the albums these days, like places like NPR and that shit, like, get a taste of it there. And I tried all these places. Like, here's my album, you can play it for free. And they wouldn't even take it on it. So, I was like, who would play my album for free a week before to let people have a taste? So we contacted Pornhub. They're like, we love it.

Yeah. And those guys have been great to me. They gave me free fucking ads. Like I said, what if I sold my album to like even 1% of the world's masturbators? I'd be the richest man in the world. It's like, go where the audience is. They're all fucking lacking off.

Listen, man, that's what they did with Sons of Anarchy. The DVDs, they sold them in Harley Davidson stores. Oh, that's brilliant. That's how they made their biggest fucking... Yeah, they sold all the DVDs in Harley Davidson stores. They went partners in Harley Davidson to some shit, and that's how you do it. It's American fucking ingenuity.

That's what you did, man. And I go, I go, what's the most popular website I go to? You go to my computer, you press P. Fucking Porn Hub comes right up. It's the hub of porn. That's the hub. You love it, Henley. You love porn.

That's what my computer does too, yeah. Yeah, see, we're masturbators from the same. No, what's the between Porn Hub and YouTube, you porn? It might be the same company. Yeah, it's probably all the same shit. Tell you what. Let me see. Both fucking are great.

See, I actually go to PornMD because it searches all the other stuff. sites. C. Yeah. Porn MD, I don't know that. Yeah, such as all of their sites. That's where it figures out, like, what your ailment is for too much porn? Yeah. But, uh... So you go to porn MD, and what are you type in? And you can type in whatever you want, but that

this is, so this is what Porn Hub owns. When you type in, what do you want to see? What I want to see? Joey D.S. No, what do you want to see? I don't know. Probably, uh, usually chubby girls. Really? I like, chubby. I like, uh, I like, uh, blow jobs. Hold on. What's it called?

A big, what's it called? BBW? BB. Oh, yeah. Big beautiful women. Yep. All those. So Pornham owns Red Tube U-Porn, Tube 8.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, they've been fucking great to me because I'm the only one and the only fucking artist out there playing music who will talk to them, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's all, you know, why ignore that audience in my way? They also did like a comedy contest, U-Porn, didn't they? Probably, I don't know. They did like a comedy contest. Listen, man, whatever works. The reason why you're sitting in that chair is I like what you do,

and I like the balls that you did to do it. So that's the only reason I love it. I love the music. I love your attitude. I love that you told them all to suck your dick. You know, what's really fun is playing a club in like the South and a bunch of whole audience of dudes, the backwards baseball caps just screaming,

which one of you queer is going to suck my dick along with me? Tremendous. Sit on my face. Which one of you queer is going to suck my dick? This is. It's fucking tremendous. You can't even, a record label would see that and shit themselves and run like hell,

so I don't want you around. I want somebody who's going to go, you know what, we're going to fucking put this, we're going to run this somewhere. Are there serious play your music? Yeah, Outlaw country's been pretty good to me. I mean, they get a lot of blowback, you know, but they got the balls to keep playing it,

which is cool. They've been a couple, I mean, a couple of the stations play. I think it's the Outlaw Country Station that plays it, which is good. because they call themselves outlaw country, so that's cool. I'm trying to think who else plays it. I think Stern played it a couple

times maybe. I don't know. Did you do Stern also? I did the after show when I was in New York. What's that? The minor leagues to get on to Stern. I have no idea. I don't know how it works anymore. I don't listen to Dick.

I'm too busy trying to fucking keep above water. I'll tell you what I don't listen to is the fucking radio. No, there's nothing to listen to. I listen to Sirius in the car. I listen to Ozzy's Bone Yard. Oh, that's good, yeah. I listen to the one that plays sound garden, rooster, and all that shit.

Oh, yeah, the other day I was listening. I fucking love Allison Changes. You listen to a man in the box. Man, the box. I listened to Studio 54 sometimes in the daytime. I'll put that on. I'll have a question for you. Now speaking of that, do you think disco gets a bad rap?

Because everyone seems to hate it. I think it's some of that shit's fucking killer. Isn't, man. People are going to hate everything. That's different. Or popular. When disco came along, discos. you know, fucked it up for a while.

I remember them burning disco albums and shit. Oh, yeah, they had the big thing in the White Sox Stadium or whatever? Yeah, I remember all that. Was it disco they were burning? Yeah. Somebody's rap. It's like, let's bring rock and roll back. But I listen to that shit now. It's like some of that shit's so good. Boogie Oogie.

Yeah. This is a couple of grand jams that get you going. Classic disco. Like you can't listen to, you know, what's the big, uh, BG's hit? Staying Alive. You can't listen to Staying Alive and say that sucks. No, you can't listen.

You can't listen to the whole Saturday Night Live album and say it sucks. You can't. It's a killer song. Was that Sunday Night, I'm sorry. You can't. It's a gray fucking album.

If you don't listen to it every day and you put it on, like somebody like me that heard it every day for a year and then stopped. Like I didn't listen to that shit ever again. But now sometimes I hear that one jam from it. I can we touch in the morning rain? That one, whatever, the BG's.

Oh, yeah. That's a great too. That one. That's the ballad. The one that they were dancing. How deep is your love? Yeah, how deep is your love? They got the other one, Alex Am, staying alive.

What's the one? When they're dancing all fucked up at that club, you know? You know, Andrew Dice-Claire used to do Travolta impersonations at that club. Like when he was a kid, Sinai Fever was big. And Andrew would go to that club, whatever the fuck it was called, and dance like Travolta, and they'd pay him. No, that's a good gig. Fucking tremendous.

But Lee, how you doing? You're starting to look around? Yeah, it's over fully. That's it. He's trying to tell me he's in training and shit on the week. I did $1,300. I did $1,600, and I went to the ice house. And nothing happened.

I'm high, but yeah. Yeah, that's what I... Yeah, no, I've got to vouch for this, dude. He's pretty fucked up. No, he's good. Yeah, I'm fucked up. Yeah, he's good. He's solid tonight, like the rock of fucking Jabbaugh.

I'll tell you what. That transition fluids hit you later, see. I got a piss. All right, go to his swim. I'll write this out and go through here, right through here. Got it. Look at Lee all fucked up. First of all, listen to me

and listen to me quickly, people. I love Lee. I don't know. I listen to him when he tells me. You know, he had a problem one night with Uber. They sent some fucking dude over here. And then he got lifts. So one night he turned me out to fucking lift.

And you know what, man? Like I told you, the cars are clean. I like that light in the front to tell you that they're there. What do you like about? I think the drivers are more friendly I think the drivers are they tend to be nicer and it tends to be just an overall better experience well listen lift is right-sharing company that believes in treating its people better lift believes that being a right-sharing driver should be fun if you're having a good time so are your passengers only lift

offers an in-app tipping when you drive for lift you keep 100% of your tips Drivers have been paid over 150 million in tips since the feature was introduced. Express pay lets drivers get paid almost instantly instead of waiting for weeks. Lyft has even taken the guesswork out of pickups. The new AMP device uses color coding to help passengers find their drivers. You can earn hundreds of dollars a week plus tips and if you want to make more money, drive more. It's never been easier to give yourself a raise.

It's a simple formula. drivers mean happy passengers. Maybe that's why nine out of 10 lift rides get a perfect five-star rating. So join the ride-sharing company that believes in treating its people better. You're looking for a job, guys. You're in between jobs. You fucking want to put on an album. You're singing songs.

You don't know. There's a thousand things you could do and pick up. Listen, the one lift guy I talked to, he does hardwood floors. On the weekends and a couple nights a week, he fucking drives to support his family. You have no more excuses to sit on the couch, okay? Lyft has a job for you. You got a car, you got insurance. It's a beautiful car.

What are you doing when it? You're sitting at home? Go to Lyft.com slash Joey today and get a $500,000 new driver bonus. That's lift.com slash Joey. Lift.com slash Joey. If you're going to drive, make some money. This is the way to make extra money in your spare time

and make as much money as you want to make and it's all up to you. You run your own little lift service there. So go to lift.com slash Joey today and get a $500.000 new driver bonus. That's lift.com slash Joey today. Limited time only. Terms apply.

Guess what, bitches. Beach season is coming. Okay? You're going to the beach. You don't want to get sand stuck in your ass, sand stuff in your little monkey guys. You never want to get sand stuck in your nuts. You'll never get that stuck out, that stuff out.

Guess what? Bidays are here. to help you out for the summer. All right, you don't have to walk around with rotten ass no more. You know what rotten ass does to you? It gives you hemorrhoids. It gives you infections.

Your puberty cares fall out of your asshole. You don't need this aggravation in your life. So do me a favor. Go to hello-tushie.com right now and take a look at the portable badeas they have delivered right to the ass with a 60-day guarantee. You understand me?

They don't fuck around. You got 60 days. You don't like it. If it breaks, you send it back. 60-day guarantee. I got one in my house. Lee, tell him, has your asshole changed since you've been using it a bidet? That hasn't been a day since I installed it that I don't think, think that I have it,

and that I don't use it. I use it every single day. Does your wife use it? She does. She likes it too. I like it more, though. I'm telling you, men, women, this is your chance right here to wash that fucking monkey, wash that asshole, and keep it refreshed all day.

Go to hellotushy.com right now and slash church and get 10% off your order, all right? Spray your butt clean with tremendous fresh water. And what you do is you don't fucking use tap water if you don't want to. You got to test the pH. Because if you're washing your ass with dirty pH, what's the fucking use? Go to hellotushy.com right now slash church and get 10% off your order. Bidays are back. Father's day's coming.

Mother's day's coming. Their grandparents, their asshole stinks. They're in the Dodge all day. Get them a bidet for Mother's Day or Father's Day and make their fucking holiday complete. Go to hellotushy.com right now slash church and get 10% off. I want to thank Hello Tushy. I want to thank Lyft. And I also want to thank honor.com.

Go to honor.com and press in church. And get 10% off any supplement in the house and these things. Listen, money back guarantee on alpha brain. Nobody else does that in the industry, okay? You got new mood. You got Shroom Tech sport, which I'll tell you what, I take a half a capsule with my fucking heart's beaten. I'm breathing better.

Everything's beautiful. All right. One more time. Honor.com and press in. Church. Boom! And get 10% off your order. I'll see you cocksuckers next week.

Don't forget. I'll see you tomorrow night. Thursday night at Leverty Live. In Nyack. New York, the former house of the cuckoooo's nest. I used to go up there and get fucking served. I love you guys. Have a great weekend.

We'll see you guys next Monday night. Stay black. We never decided what the clothes on. The what? We never decided what to close on. Snowblind by the fucking black whatever society. Black label society. There you go.

Can I thank you guys for having me? Are I interrupting? Fuck yeah. Yeah. Dude, I had a blast. I love you guys. This was fucking great. Kick that mule.