The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #472 - Joe Rogan

Episode Date: April 12, 2017

Joe Rogan, comedian and host of the "Joe Rogan Experience" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.    Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.   I Hate My Boss Podcast - The newest podcast from Wondery. Need workplace advice? Do you hate your boss? Listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. 
Recorded live on 04/10/2017.
  

Greetings, boss sniffers. This podcast is brought to you by I Hate My Boss, the newest podcast from Wondery. Need workplace advice, go listen to I Hate My Boss and subscribe to it wherever you listen to this podcast. This podcast is also brought to you by Nature Box. What do you want when you want to snack, but all you can find is junk food. Rely on your self-control to resist the temptation? Please, you eat that junk food. Start snacking healthy with Nature Box. Right now, Nature Rock Box is offering our family, 50% off your first order when you go to Naturebox.com. Also, bideties are back. It's time to wash that muffler. Go to Hellotushy.com right now and get 10% off your portable bidet.

Never again will your asshole stink like 10 dead fucking savages. You understand me? Hit it, Lee. See who's this page and me And why It's my nigga pop from the Bhabber shop Told me he was in the gambol spot

And heard the intricate plot A niggas want to stick me like fly paper Nape slow down love Please chill drop the paper What's happening you bad Motherfuckers Uncle Joey here Monday night We have a special guest tonight

My brother Mr. Joe Rogan We're going to talk about this fucking United thing Hala Joey and I were talking about how bad Flying was this weekend in Buffalo it was bad Bruce Buffer's flight got canceled because they didn't have a pilot everybody's on the plane they're like sorry we don't have a pilot everybody has to get off and then the flight was just canceled no pilot

our flight got canceled because the the tires didn't have any air in them and they had a fly tires there we're supposed to leave at 830 in the morning didn't wind up leaving until we took off we hopped on a jet blue to New York and then caught a flight from New York we're supposed to fly in Chicago and they they it would change it from 830 in morning, they kept moving it up and out because I get notifications on my phone. And they moved it up to 4.30 p.m. And it didn't even take off then. It took off sometime after 5 p.m. It was hard.

I don't know. I don't blame it. I'm no fucking snowstorm. They were slipping. How the fuck, don't drive a tire? How the fuck doesn't your pilots show up? How the fuck doesn't, you know, it's just too many coincidences. Buffalo is just not a good airport.

They just not a lot of people flying in there. They're not prepared. They're not equipped. I went to Vermont a couple years ago. And they just canceled the flight. the night before, there was no weather. I don't think they had enough people flying out of Burlington, Vermont the next day. That's probably exactly what it was.

Yeah. So, we're going to watch this thing on United, where a passenger apparently had a ticket, was in his seat, and they wanted to get a crew member on. Crew members. It was like three or four crew members. They had to get people off the flight. So people who had tickets, who paid for tickets were going somewhere, and they told this guy, they'd just randomly pick people.

They told this guy, you got to get up, but you didn't want to get up, so they dragged them off. Check this out. is going to piss you off. And imagine this is you. United has been slipping anyway. So look at this. Let's see. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.

Come on. Come on. United Airlines overbooked the flight. They randomly selected people to kick off so their standby crew could have a seat. Let's see if I can find a better version of it. There's a few of them. The man was chosen at random, but he refused to leave his seat. Oh, my God.

my god oh my god look at people getting their phones ready my god my god what are you doing no this is wrong oh my god look at what you did remind me and my husband never used united airlines when we fly the situation could have been handled better than that all these people are freaking out and the more people find out about this over today and over the rest of the week united's fucked. That's fucked. I just can't believe they did that to the guy. They forcibly removed him.

Why do they think they could do that? Here's the statement. Pause that for a second. Flight 3-4-11 from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked. After our team looked for volunteers, one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily. Okay, look at what they just said. After they look for volunteers,

one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily. You look for volunteers. That guy's not a volunteer. That's not refusing to leave voluntarily. That's a nice way of saying you took a customer and you fucking assaulted them and law enforcement was asked to come to the gate. Keep going because it keeps going. Pause because their statement continues. It's getting really bad.

See what the rest of it. We apologize for the overbook situation. No, there's more. You backed. You went a little too far. No. No, that's it? That's it.

Oh, my God. That's it. We apologize for the overbook situation. Further details on the removed customers should be directed to authorities. How about fuck you? I can't believe they would take a customer and just do that. To get crew members, too. It wasn't like they were trying to get, like, other customers.

They had both too many customers. From when I read, it was just they had to get crew members to whatever city that was. Yeah, they can't do that. You can't do that. People should start boycotting them. Let me tell you something. United has blown for years. I took them into Newark one time.

No fucking TV. no fucking shitty food first class was like fucking garbage into Newark that's why I don't I don't fly into Newark no more you know I love whatever virgin but then it can't get me back from Newark so I'm going to end up at Kennedy anyway

Yeah Norke's not a good airport You know Arby used to bitch about it I used to bitch about it constantly Fuck Newark fuck Newark you know what My life's a lot easier believe it or not When I land in JFK Yeah

It really is smooth Worst case scenario, you go to fucking the palms and get a steak and eggs. Yeah. Like a gentleman in the bloody marrying, you sit at that. There's tons of entertainment at Kennedy. Oh, yeah. You get a massage, you get your feet rubbed.

They got fucking everything at Kennedy. Thought we, I thought you flew out okay. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I'm like you. I waited 10 minutes. I had already a book 3 o'clock, but it got in at 741, and I didn't trust it. Yeah.

I went to Southwest was empty. Everybody was there. When I got there, it was kids at the airport, all going to fucking spring break. I went to United. They had nothing. I went to Delta, Delta was done. And I went to the other one. JetBlue and JetBlue was done until tomorrow, until Sunday.

I was like, you know what? I got my 3.40. I'd take my chances. Before I left the hotel, I called. And they go to plane that you're going from to L.A. is already in Chicago. You landed from Rome this morning. It's already ready to go.

It's on time. And the other one was on time. And you know what? Everything was smooth. Knock on wood. It took me 25 minutes up to 4 or 5 to get home on time. It was empty. You have options in other places.

But if you fly to a place like Buffalo, there's not a lot of options, you know? It's like if you're flying out of Bozeman, Montana or something like that, like good luck. Listen, bro, I can't get a direct ticket from Milwaukee to Detroit. The flight is longer from Milwaukee to Detroit than what it is from fucking. LAX the fucking Milwaukee. Really? How the fuck did that happen? I got to fly into Chicago.

It's a tough business. The business of selling airline tickets, flying people around, you've got to make money. Not really. Well, you've got to think, who the fuck's flying in and out of Buffalo? So in order for them to have packed, what's there, right? Other than the UFC, like when you have a big event or a football game or something like that, if there's not that...

A lot of people connect to go to Canada. A lot of people fly to Buffalo. Those planes are always pretty fucking par. Airport was empty. at 3 o'clock the airport was completely empty when I walked in. Everybody flew out earlier. And I'll tell you what, when I landed at LAX,

empty. LAX was empty? Empty. I couldn't fucking believe it. I've never seen it like that I was like, wait a second. No one could get back in. Do you guys ever, have you guys boycotted an airline? Because, like, it's weird.

You can't, they have you over a barrel. You can get as mad as you want at them, but some airlines only fly certain places and they're the cheaper ones, so you've got to fly them sometimes. I bet a lot of people are going to boycott United after that. Yeah, but until their next vacation Like not many people be like

You guys fly a lot more than most people fly Yeah I think when most people fly it's just whatever airline's cheapest Yeah, but if people have an option now I think they're gonna choose My first choice is always American I know where I'm going Yeah

I know where I'm going If I go to New York I'm only going Delta or the other one America sinks your boat Virgin's great but they're going away Virgin's not going to be around anymore Where they're going? They're merging with somebody

Alaska For some weird that like that on no one I took Alaska Airlines. That was the only direct flight into Baltimore was Alaska fucking airlines a red eye. They do all right. Alaska does all right. And they fly me to Portland from Burbank.

Yeah, they're good to Seattle too. Really? Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. Tremendous. Not bad. So that's the end of Virgin. I'm telling you, I'm telling you the leader right now is that meant.

And I know you. I know the type of guy you are. Yeah, I know the type of guy you are. They got a door. They got a door. And there's a latch right now. here that closes your door. So you go, the door goes,

like a Batman movie. It just closes real fast. When they bring you the food, they press the latch and the door opens and that's how she gives you the food, like Prisoner 44. I don't even know what you're saying. I don't even know what it looks like. I put the sleep batting machine right here. I think it's like

a pod, like those international. Let's see if you can find one. JetBlue. Jack Blue. I like Delta to Kennedy. It's very nice. Very nice. They got to lay down bed and shit. I'm getting real tired of flying. I know. I like to do a residency in Los Angeles.

Everybody goes to Vegas to do a residency. How many fucking people are there in L.A.? You could sell out of L.A. every weekend if you had a club. Like just a club? Playa Del Carmen. Down there. Where's that? Where's Playa Del Carmen? By our friend. That's where he has the his, Brendan, has the office down there. Nice and clean down there, John Rogan.

That's a good spot, but anywhere down by the ocean takes forever to drive that's what it looks like the pod let me see this thing let me see a close up ooh that's nice that's jet blue yeah I'm dog I've been this a new thing yeah how many these they have they have uh you can only go from here to Boston or here to JK JFK so the whole plane is filled with these things no the front row it's like eight rows but you get an even number and you by yourself in the so it's like essentially like first class so they're doing first class There you go.

That's by yourself. That's by yourself. They see that little box they give you? They give you a thing to cover your eyes. They give you a blanket. They give you a pillow. The bottled water is behind your left arm. You can't even fucking see it.

And it's got a statue. You can put your bottled water right in there. You got movies. I saw The Godfather, too, on the way there. That's the refrigerator and the cheap seats. You have a refrigerator. Yeah, you just get up and help your fucking cell. for everybody, yeah.

This is for everybody. That's so mid-flight, you don't got a bottle of nobody. You get up, you get your fucking soda. These people getting, it's 2017. Wow. But those front rows, I'm telling you, dog, tremendous.

I was blown the fuck away. That's just like first class. And that goes to Kennedy? Goes to Kennedy. But not from Burbank. Me and Boss Routon had this conversation. Because Boss was like, you got to get on mint.

I go, ah, Burbank, there's no mint because it's a small airport. Right. So the bigger plane can't land on that. Oh, is that what it is it? Burbank? Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. I always wondered why there's...

And they don't land in Newark either. Nothing out of Burbank does? Through small flights, right? No, small flights. No, JetBlue doesn't fly into fucking Newark. Oh. Well, you don't want to fly in New York. Even if I land...

Even if I work in New Jersey, I usually don't fly in Newark. I fly in New York. Have you ever flown to Atlantic City? Yes. When I did the UFC there, I did. from right from here i think i don't remember it was a long i got a so long ago i did the borgata did you the bargada with me yes it was fun when militage that's one of the few places like the borgata's one of the few places and uh henzel gracie showed up too remember yeah he was howling at your shit that's

that they were crazy i remember henzel gracy is a fucking maniac he thought all you like the dirtier the crazier you got more he was like ah he was fucking flopping around in his seat laughing I always walk past that place. I'm scared to walk in. Hensos? Yeah. In New York? There's a killers.

They are killers. But they're super nice guys. It's a horror show. You'll get tapped out, but they'll be nice to you. Oh, my God. That's just how it goes. Yeah, I'm scared of those New York schools. I always make plans.

Yeah, I'm going to go over there after Norton's show and show up. Yeah. Fuck you. He's a great guy, though. I get in that goddamn Uber and I shoot right back to that fairy jack. Yeah. And I don't look back. Fuck you.

They'll kill you. Do you think you could ever live in Manhattan? We had this discussion with somebody a few weeks ago, and they showed the rent of where I grew up on 88th Street, and I nearly shit my pants. Oh, it's insane. The same place where I grew up now. I think it was, what was it, seven grand for one bedroom? That's not even outrageous. Yeah.

The money there is so crazy, it makes you wonder how anyone getting afford to live there other than, like, really wealthy people. If there's any city that gives me anxiety, it's New York City at 9. anymore. I've gotten to the AIDS and I've gotten very comfortable here and when I go play the stand on Thursday nights I stand on the corner before you go in and I actually fucking can't take the cars

anymore like the speed that that electricity I'm not used to it anymore. Really? Yeah it fucks with me a little bit so on Thursdays I don't go into the city no more. I just wait until I go to the shows and I you know it's weird how you when you're from that area

it takes you a couple days to acclimate. Like I was getting on the ferry and I was getting bullied on the ferry. You? Yeah, getting bullied. Straight up. People walking in front of me and shit, but I'm from L.A. I don't need this aggravation. Like these days they were doing that? Oh, they're fucking rude motherfuckers. The people live on the Jersey side and they work in New York. They think their shit don't stink. So they cut you all, you know, and you'll overcome it because you're an adult and you don't give a fuck. By Saturday, some lady pregnant with a fucking thing was trying to cut me off. off and I finally go, oh, relax. Like, you forget that you're a nice person. Like, you forget.

Wow. People not opening up doors, like, people pushing. You're like, you know what? I'm from a different civilization, you know, like people, you forget. And then you toughen up by Saturday, but then you'll leave on Sunday anyway. So what's the toughness for? You know what I've been saying for a while? Is it what's going on in New York and what goes on the entire East Coast with the difference

between the way people behave there versus out here is that, They're still too close to the people that first landed there. Like the people that first landed there, like my grandparents and their families, they came out from Europe, Italy and Ireland and everything like that. Those were barbarians. Those people were animals. I mean, you just think about life, like you're talking about the Depression, right? This is all my grandparents came, like, when the Depression was going on.

I mean, it was a hard, hard world. People were tough and they were mean. And you got fucked with. And, you know, my grandfather used to tell me horror stories about getting bullied and they call him a guinea whop, like, and just mean shit and beating them up. And just everybody was mean. Well, they were the Arabs of today. Yeah. Yeah, that's how you have to look at it. Hard, mean world. If it was today, Trump would ban fucking travel to Italy. Yeah, probably.

No, I saw that documentary. And it was the most interesting thing I ever saw. And it really taught me a lot about that culture I grew up around because it always seemed very interesting to me. HBO did a two-part special on Sinatra. And the first part, they discussed his childhood in Hoboken. And how at that time, the Irish were the oppressor. The oppressor. The oppressor. So the Ginnies weren't allowed past 9th Street.

Really? Which really fucked with them. Then stuff happened and the Italians grew and then they got past 9th Street. But Sinatra always had that mentality of I was never allowed over 9th Street. You gotta watch it. It's fucking interesting. Plus, I understood the people I grew up with from North Bergen. See, Hoboken is moving on up to North Bergen.

We've got a house up in North Bergen. We've got a front yard. You know what I'm saying? Like, half of the people I grew up with, their roots are Hoboken. So when I watched that special on the United States. So North Bergen was better? North Bergen was more residential, where Hoboken was more, you know, tenements and three floors. And, you know, yeah, North Bergen, once they built North Bergen, a lot of people moved

to North Bergen. There used to be a club there. It used to be a club in Hoboken. What was it? It was a stand-up club there. I don't remember. I was long gone by it. They still do stand-up there.

Danny A. L.O. has a room on Tuesday nights. They've been really trying, like, over the years to do stand-up there. I did a benefit for the Hoboken Police Department. Oh, yeah? Oh, a long time ago. I did it. I did the club there in, like, 91 or 92 or something like that. And they had pictures all over the wall the time.

Eddie Murphy said. stopped by. And so I remember Eddie Murphy was here at one point in time. They had like a photo and it said like 1989 Eddie Murphy. It was like three years ago and everybody was like, oh, remember that time? Three years ago? Eddie Murphy came down there.

Fuck, I didn't know it was a comedy club in Hoboken. When I started, I started in Denver when I went back, the big club was Rascals and the other one, but there was also Main Street Showcase. It was I was always, it was I saw, Bill.

Bellamy on the plane one time and I was talking to him about it. He goes, yeah, that was my roots, Main Street showcase. Bill Bellamy. I forgot about Bill. Jay Moore, all those guys were from that part of New Jersey. And when Florentine came in here, him and Norton are from like South Jersey, middle of New Jersey. They moved to Northern New Jersey on the apartment.

And they were all Jersey guys. Like they're Jersey guys. I'm saying, don't take them seriously. Yeah, right? He was saying that nobody took them seriously. Yeah. Yeah, Norton always had that. It, like, bothered them.

You're not funny until you move to New York. Yeah, isn't that funny? Like, you have to go to New York to be taken seriously. If you live in New Jersey or just a hack, telling fart jokes and shit, you know? Those clubs in Jersey are brutal. I mean, bananas is club, the one by Fort Lee. And it's brutal.

You do comedy on a ping pong table. Do you do the one in Poughkeepsie? I did the one in Poughkeepsie. I did that one. A couple times. that's in a ballroom, Lee. And the next, it's next to a gas station. That's as good as it gets, dog.

And they put you in the downstairs room. When I tell you, it's fucking freezing, it's fucking freezing. They got one diner in the lobby, and it's the worst food you've ever eaten in your life. Even if they give you the 30% off, you'd rather fucking starve to death. That's how bad that place is. And you're stuck up there for two fucking nights next to a gas station. that's it I worked up there with Tony V

do you know Tony V fuck yeah I worked up there with Tony V I was the middle he was the headliner and some lady kept flashing the light while I was on stage I was supposed to do like I don't know

25 minutes something like that and I like 10 or 15 she's flashing the light and I did I ignored it I just did my set I got off stage and she goes

okay I don't know if you know how we do it here but you can't do that language at this club and I remember saying like what are you talking about I was smiling. I was laughing. I was already moved in New York.

I was already getting work. I already had Sussman as a manager. I was like, what? And she was like, you're going to have to change your act worker? I go, no, I'm not. I go, what are you? The manager here? I go, I got booked here by the owner of the club. I go, I'm going to do my act. They know what my act is.

I go, you don't like it? So you want me to change? And like, she looked at me and, you know, like, she didn't expect that. And I just raised my eyebrows and I just walked away. And then I just finished out the weekend. And she never spoke a fucking word to me again. She didn't say hi. She didn't look at me. Isn't that great when you have to fucking.

Once I, yeah, once I got to drop a bomb on a motherfucker. And then just look at you like, what? She was talking to me like she was the manager at Wendy's and I was the fry boy. She's like, I don't know if you know how this works here.

You know, she's like the lady that takes the tickets. You know how those clubs are all in a hotel, you know, like bananas was in a hotel, right? Yeah, both of them.

Both of them. So she just decided she didn't like my act. you know, because I talked about sex. So she's just decided that I was going to have to change my act. I don't know. I'll never forget her face. I don't know if you know how we do it here. But you can't do with that language here.

Fuck. Don't know. Let me tell you some. It's amazing, those people. I did the week one time. I was dumb enough to take a week because I was a coked-out fucking savage. The Houston Little Club. The Little Club?

The Little Club on the South Side. Oh, that's the one that Ralphie used to do. Yes. Yeah. So they put you up in a hotel. It's the middle of nowhere, right? It's like, it's out there. Somebody else took it over now.

They sold it and somebody else took it over. That club was there for a long time. They got a different type of audience than West Gray. Let's just say. It was completely different than the last stop. So I went there one Sunday night and the owner was there. And I did my set. And he goes, when do you want to get booked here?

And I go, you know, I call Pete. I go, Pete, you mind? He goes, no, no, take the week. I took the Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So I get to, I do the Thursday night. He's not there. The wife is there. So the same thing fucking happened, right before I go on stage.

And at that time, I wasn't, my head wasn't in it like that. She came up to me. She's like, listen, I heard rumors not here. Here we work spotless clean. If you say one bad thing, you're fired. Oh, those fucking people. Well, guess what? I shit my pants.

I really didn't. For the first 15, I tried and I struggled. I was eating death, and then I just let loose, and they went fucking bananas. I said, fuck it. I'll just take the 200 for the night. I don't give a fuck. I walked off. She didn't talk to me.

The next night I came in, the husband was there. I pulled him aside. I go, she didn't fucking know. She goes, ah, I explained to her last night what happened. I'm sorry. Danny, that was his name. I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. I go up there and right there.

It was one of those clubs that right here is the stage, and people actually take their drinks. and they're looking at it like this. And 20 minutes into my fucking show, I'm looking at this couple, and I'm looking at her, and she's fucked up, John Rogan. She's fucked up.

And I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. And finally, I keep checking out like every eight minutes, and she's getting deeper and deeper. She's closing one eye. Once they close the one eye, they're fucked up. And finally I go like this.

And she covers her milk. No. And the puke... No, no, no, no. The puke starts shooting out everybody. Like a fucking... What's that thing the kids play in? Like a sprinkler?

But just awkward chunks. And then she just let it all out. And she sat there for five minutes, puke all over itself. Bro, nobody paid. Everybody got up like somebody was shooting. You thought terrorists were shooting in the club. Everybody got up and started running for the fucking door. They had to stop people.

She had a puddle of barf around her. The boyfriend left of that. The boyfriend just got up and walked out. He didn't know nothing. He's 100. I don't know nothing. You didn't see me with me. Give me back my credit card.

I never went back there again. Once somebody peukes on stage, I can't hang out with you no more. It's amazing, like, the bad advice they give you early on your stand-up career. I want to shoot them all on the fucking that. I love to say it. They always tell you you can't make it if you're dirty. Like they tell you can't make it. I mean, I can't remember how many times I heard that.

What is it? fucking pipe. Holy shit. Somebody gave me that in Cleveland. That's the savage stuff. We only let them out for special occasions. This thing's amazing. Oh,

the people at home see this thing? Oh, that thing is fucking tremendous. Oh, this is, who did this work? You know, somebody in Cleveland gave it. There's a whole industry,

like a whole art form now, glass pipe art form industry. I mean, there's amazing artists that are just doing glass art. I got another one at the house that I don't even want to smoke out of it. It's so beautiful.

It's incredible. I need a picture this, That's the Sabbath. That's the original right there. He's missing the tooth. He don't give a fuck. What kind of advice do they give you for someone peaking on you when you're on stage? They didn't say nothing.

They can't be advice for that. There was no advice. I walked off the stage and knew I wasn't going to be ever there ever again. You understand me? That's what I knew for sure. Look at me going. There's some places you fucking go and you know you're never going to go back there. They would just tell you like,

They would give you advice. Like, when you're young, you're starting out. Like, say if you're a young guy and you were a fan of her. Who pulled you over? Everybody. Everybody. That you look at you and go, what's happening? I don't want to say their names, but they never made it.

They never made it. The one guy that did make it that had already made it at the time who gave me the opposite advice was Lenny Clark. It was funny because his brother, Mike was a booking agent. He was a great guy. Mike Clark, that guy paid my rent fucking many, many, many, many times with his gigs. Because he was one of the guys that he had a lot of satellite. rooms. He had giggles and Saugus on Route 1. And he had a few outside rooms and he would book

his brother Lenny. And Lenny was on HBO. He had done Roddy Dangerfield special. Lenny was a big comic. He'd done a bunch of movies. Like Lenny was big. And it was before Lenny's sitcom. Remember when he had that sitcom? And I opened up for Lenny's at J's in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. It was in Western Massachusetts. It was way out there, like two and a half, three hours away from Boston. and people loved it there because it was a real stage and they had real comedy there. Like they had Lenny Clark when Lenny Clark was big. And I went up and I opened up for Lenny. It was the second paid gig I ever got in my life.

And I got off stage and Mike Clark said, Buddy, you're fucking funny, but I can't book you. You're too dirty. And he goes, that bit you do about Madonna, you can't do that. It's like, it's funny, but you got to clean it up. You got to clean it up. And so Lenny comes off stage. Right after his brother gives me advice, Lenny goes, I'll say he goes,

he goes, kid, you are fucking hilarious. He goes, don't change a thing. Holy shit, that Madonna bit had me laughing my balls off. And he goes, Lenny, I just told him to stop doing that bit. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should probably stop doing it. It's going to be hard to get work. But fuck, kid, you're funny. And it was like good advice and bad advice.

And I listened to Lenny. I was like, you know, his brother's a great guy and everything like that. But Lenny is Lenny Clark. So to have Lenny Clark tell you you're funny I was like wow that was huge for me But his brother was giving me bad advice He's like but he wanted me to work You know, but that was the thing back then

It was in 1989 or 1988 Back then you couldn't work if you were dirty Like there was no work Everybody wanted to get on the Tonight show No there was a few HBO specials That had been given out like DeKinnison And a few other people But you had to be somebody to get those

If you wanted to be dirty You had to be somebody already So what it was was a lot of these guys guys who were you know quote unquote dirty they would have clean sets that they would do on the tonight show or letterman or whatever and then they would have a few dirty bits that they would reserve for a nightclub and they would close with those bits so if they ever did an hreel special that's when they would do those i knew i had to be dirty three years that like i was just lying to myself people come up to me with that fucking bullshit and i gave it new york try i tried it

I tried it, but it just didn't work out for me. I'm not going to ask you to do a joke, but what was a clean premise for you? I don't really know a clean premise for you, to be honest. That's old weed. Oh, is it? All right. A clean premise in those days was... Oh, Jesus Christ.

A clean premise. Hold on. A clean premise in those days was a Godzilla. What would Godzilla do... Oh, you got to... Look at this thing. You guys are advanced here. What would Godzilla do if he came back into the Hudson?

You know, it was terrible. It was terrible. It was brutally terrible. I had a thing about a ship going into the Hudson. I had a thing about speakers. You could put them back in the windows because bowls, something electric. It was just

a horror show. It was a fucking horror show. I can't imagine you making electronic jokes. Joey used to try to be clean in the early days when I first saw him. It was a nightmare. Joey was trying to deal with agents and managers.

When you first moved to L.A. Oh my God. We first became friends. Yeah, you were dealing with all this people. And one day you go, you know what? It really doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.

As long as you're you. How did you figure it out? Because I've always wondered that. Because you figured it out and there was like a big turnaround. Like one day you just stopped giving a fuck. It was weird. It was a, it was a, an event. It was a series of events.

events. It was that I wasn't dating that dirty. You got the lighter over there? I wasn't dating that dirty bitch anymore. That clears your mind of 30%. I had let go a lot of shit that was fucking scaring the shit out of me in L.A. And that's 60% of your problem right there. Everybody who had me locked in, bullshit me that you needed to do this and needed to do that. And you, you know, and all of a sudden I'm watching you and I'm watching these guys. The, they clean and they make me laugh but they're not making me laugh like the guys that are real yeah that took a different fucking animal you know i remember i was having conversations about it yeah where you were like ah you could go do that i gotta i gotta you know there's people watching me yeah no no no it was scary it was scary and for no reason yeah it was just the

bullshit that they put into your head that you can't you can't well it was no reason but it was holding you back well absolutely because people could see when you're faking the funk. Well, not just that. Like, even once you started killing, it was still holding you back. Like, there was still a lot of agents and managers that had a bad opinion of you.

Oh, listen, they're going to, they're going to say whatever you want to say until you deliver the goods. That's exactly what it was. I figured out, I was talking to Tommy Easter today, and I go, Tommy Easter, let me tell you something.

You could be the funniest guy in this town. You go in a comedy store every night and fucking destroy that. room even though they're going to see Dane Cook Eliza Schlesinger it doesn't matter you could destroy that room nothing matters in this business just like the mafia these the size of the envelope on Friday that's when they pay attention to you that's when all those naysayers they eat their words and they jump on the ship with you well what's interesting is those people are are almost useless now

useless young comic it's it's it's this has changed Yeah. This is changed. And let me tell you something. I know you hate this talk, but this is the reality of it because you're an intelligent guy. In 2007, there was a writer strike. And these motherfuckers played game for six or seven months. And reality TV crept in, there's about to be another writer strike, May 7th.

And if these motherfuckers play games, the internet is going to fuck them up. Well, where it's not going to fuck them up is things like Game of Thrones or things like House of Cards, like things where you need a lot of money to shoot them. Well, listen, let me tell you something. When the going gets rough, you put together one of these late-night shows with Brendan and Eddie lighting himself on fire or whatever from 8 to 11 and put a band behind you. People are going to watch it, dog.

The internet's going to change the fucking game. If these motherfuckers fuck around on TV, if these motherfuckers don't settle this, a discos go on like the one in 2007, you think Periscope didn't see this coming and all these fucking companies didn't see this coming? But don't you think the writers probably have a point? Like, without them.

Oh, the writers always have a point. No, the writers always have a point. But listen, it's 2017, bitch. He who hesitate masturbate. This fucking machine over here has been growing since you turn me onto it. It's nothing but a wealth of information and grow up that machine. And more people turn to that. You know, I don't do this.

I don't do this because I'm an idiot. But people watch movies on their phone. Yeah. They do on phones. The UFC on their fucking phones. Yeah. On planes and all that shit. Okay, my friend. Yeah.

Don't watch anything on there. Content is endless now. Content is endless. You don't need cable or TV no more. You got a phone. If you're broke, if you're a brokster and you got an iPhone and you're trying to work things out in your life, you don't need. You can stream Showtime. You could stream HBO.

You can stream IFC. And you can see almost everything. Everything. YouTube just came out with a, like everyone's coming out. with an online cable service or TV service, but YouTube is the best one out there. For so far, it's 30 bucks a month. And you get, you get, I don't,

you don't get every channel, but you get a ton of AD, you get a ton of DVR. So it's starting to be where you don't even need anything anymore. Let them fuck around. Keep fucking around. Keep it up. People are going to figure this out and go,

wait a second. I got a good idea for this. I got a good idea for that. Two cameras, two GoPro's and Periscope. And a drum. And you got yourself entertainment, Jack, for whoever. People watch it. People at home craving this.

Our audience is not from 7 to 10 no more like it was 20 years ago. Sorry. It's people from 7 to 5. It's IT people. It's people working gas stations. People working construction with earphones on. It's fucking amazing. The loaders at the airplanes, they waved the other day.

I'm trying to get on a fucking plane. They waved a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it's weird, right? It's very weird. So it's gone to a different fucking level now. This is what we're doing is growing every month. Well, no one would ever allow you to do this. No.

There's no executive in this town that would have ever said, here's what you need to do, Joey. No, they wouldn't have a camera pointing at you. You start smoking pot and just talk shit. Nobody believed you. Nobody would believe you. And it's that easy. It's that fucking easy.

It is for you. It's not that easy for everybody. Well, listen, man. But it's a shot. You have a shot. shot with this. When Marin first went to his management and said he was starting a podcast, they laughed at him. Yeah. That's the

reality of it, you know? Yeah. This is something that they didn't know it was coming. They're going, they're sitting having meetings right now. What are we going to do? How are we going to get a piece of this act? I know that some podcasts are sag. You know that, right? They have those acting podcasts. Really?

How do they do that? We read a play. No. Fuck, yeah. They have series. Oh, well, series is. huge. Huge. I firmly believe that the future of entertainment is audio. I honestly do because it gives you so much more, you're so much more accessible to them. You can have them for the drive, you have them throughout the workday, and then even at home, how many people do you see when they're watching TV just playing on their phone throughout the entire episode? And they're

absorbing what's happening through audio. I honestly think there's going to be a lot. I've always loved audio. Oh, it's perfect. I think people don't listen enough. I love audio. I grew up on Richard Pryoram's. We grew up listening. We didn't have specials. I grew up listening to George Carlin. I grew up listening to I didn't watch fucking Freddie Prince on TV with a special. How many

specials did we see later on? Delirious, Rodney's young comedians, but that came later on. Well, there's definitely a good market for audio, but there's always going to be a market for people watching things too. And if you're talking about people that are sitting down with their phones while they're watching a TV show. Like, that's so silly. People that do that are so silly.

You're playing with your phone while you're watching The Walking Dead or something like that. It's so dumb. I hate it. I don't do it. It's just people who are super, super distracted and childish with the way they look at things if you're doing that. Unless it's a bad show or unless you're watching a talk show or something like that. But it just seems to me that, like, if you're going to watch a really good show,

you should put the fucking phone down and sit down and watch that thing. You know, if you're going to watch, like, House of Cards, you ever watch that Kevin Spacey show? No. It's a fucking great show. But there's a lot of really good shows. And I think, I don't think audio is the future of entertainment. I think it has a future. Has a future.

But it's not the future, because there's always going to be people that want to see things. Oh, I'm not saying videos going away. Obviously, video is great. But when the name of the game is advertisers and advertising money, that's like the end goal for all of this, if you're losing people for eight hours a day. Like I think what's great about these podcasts is the people like middle class and low are really listening to it. There are higher level people doing it. But if you can't listen during the day, you're probably a little bit out of the loop podcast-wise, you would think.

So if you can't watch video during the day, you don't have all those ads. I just think there's going to be a lot more of that scripted podcast, reality podcast. I think there's going to be everything because you have so much more access. Yeah, you have a lot of possibilities. How many people do you think of really listening throughout the day? That's all I did when I came here. That's how I found Joey.

I was listening all day at my job. Right, but isn't that unusual to have a job that allows you to do that? How usual is that? When you go on a plane, there's people watching a movie, typing with earphones on. Okay, in today's market,

people have an assignment or they have the type of report. They have you on. They're not watching you on YouTube, but they're listening to you. They're listening to Bill Burr, listen to NPR. they're listening to the comedy essential podcast.

They're listening. They have 40 fucking hours to kill on that fucking computer gaining hemorrhoids by the day. You know what I'm saying? They listen to two podcasts. They get up, they go for a walk, they smoke a cigarette, they drink a cup of coffee,

they come back, they do a little work to listen to another podcast. You know, if you're a night security guy, you work fucking, you know, all those hours at night. You're lonely in a car sitting there. That's when you're listening. And so if we're each an hour and a half a piece, two hours, you got a lot of time at night to listen to podcast.

We're the kings of the third crew, Joe Rogan. Yeah, right? We are the kings of the third group. People that work midnight to eight, whether they're in Australia, China, New Jersey, California, that's who listens to this while they're stocking fucking trucks or, you know, fucking product at a supermarket. You've got a supermarket at 2 in the morning? And the guys are stocking and they got earphones on with the black gloves and they put it. ice cream in the cases. They listen to everything.

To Jim Norton's podcast. Listen to Opie and Jimmy. You know, whatever fuck. Jimmy and whatever they listen to the dude that used to be on it. It's amazing how much of a catalog they have to choose from. The first guy who ever recognized me was a sign spinner by my job. I was walking across the street. He was signed.

He went to the ice house a couple times. I think he was going to try to be a comic. That's funny. Ice spinner would be the perfect guy. That's hilarious. This is gone to play. where it's you know you look at your map at the end of the month and you see where the people are listening to this across the world wow and you go what the fuck you know like when the rye said he went to China he said 200 people showed up and they all listened to the podcast they're working for somebody over to Apple they work for Apple or something like that over there well Apple has Foxcon that's over in China right yeah that's where they make the phones but they have America's the Nets okay That's the place that's the nets keep people from jumping off the roof.

Do you know about that place? Yeah, yeah, but how many people actually jumped? Enough that they made nets. It wasn't just one guy. When you put the nets up... And building the cell phone makes you do this? They live there. They live there.

They work there. They have dorms. They stay in the dorms. They work all day. It's scary. I mean, it's a step above being a slave. And people tell you it's a lot better than what they used to have because they didn't have any opportunity. And this is just how industry works.

The way people describe it, they're trying to justify it. They say this is just how industry works. Industry works. You come into an incredibly, deeply impoverished area. You provide them with a way out, like something or a better way. And so that better way of working 16 hours a day, people could argue, yeah, they're working $16 a day for a dollar a day. Yeah, or whatever the wage they get, which is substantially lower than whatever they make here. I might be exaggerating.

You can probably Google it. Like, how much does a Foxcon employee get per hour? But they say that that's how they're able to make these phones because they can make them in these factories where people don't get paid as much. But there's a bunch of people that jump off the roof. Like they have to put fences, nets all around the roof. They have nets to catch people. Like it's bananas. And when they talk about it, you know what they say?

They say there's so many employees at work there's like a half million employees. And the suicides are directly proportional to how many, if that was like a population of it. city that it makes sense that meant that that amount of people always kill themselves but they don't do it at work and they live there how many is it it's uh the only the article i found was a little old but it was it was like 12 dollars a day you're gonna get like 400 a month wow that's dark there was some dude last night on 60 minutes pretty interesting there was two do it's the guy who invented the greek yogurt yeah yeah He needed $700,000 and he saw a factory open up in New York,

and he went to these people and he borrowed the money, and he bought the, what's the hot Greek yogurt now? I don't know. I know what you're talking about. You know, he's talking about it. Tremendous. Then he had to buy a plant in Twin Falls, Idaho, and what he hires is is refugees.

He gives them jobs, and people got pissed off at him. And they called, and this guy donated 10% of his factory to his employees. Like they get 10% of the earnings, every month from the company. They break it up among, like, company sharing and all this shit. It was pretty interesting. That story was interesting, and there was another one about a guy who's saying that these phones are programmed to program you. Huh?

You got to watch this. How's that work? How does that work? This guy's saying that the industry is programming you through computers and through the phone. His explanation, you got to hear it when you get a minute. It was on last night. Can you find out how much an iPhone would cost if they made it in the United States? I can Google it.

Yeah. Google that. Just had a curiosity. So how much would an iPhone cost there now? Well, what they cost now, I think a new one... $12 a day, they get paid. I think a new iPhone, if you buy it in America is like $1,000 somewhere in that range. No.

Yeah. But, you know, the cell phone company subsidizes it. Retail, it's $1,000. You get it for $200 because Sprint wants you. to... Well, they subsidize it. Yeah. They, not subsidize it. What's the word I'm looking for?

They make like a lease, and they put it over the term of the contract. So they spread out the amount of money that you're getting paid or that you're paying for the phone. So if you get them pay $600 for the phone, they spread it out over three years. So you have a three-year contract. So, like, you can get it for like $200 off. And so it looks great. It looks great. But it's just factored into your monthly bill.

Right. And you have them for a year. like three years. I tried to pay the phone. They were like, no, they gave me a hard time. Yeah, they don't want to do that. They don't want to do that. They don't want to do that. It's probably more valuable to them. And then also you can't leave. I guess you can leave if you have like a phone that is a, what's the word, without a unlocked, unlocked.

Jailbroken. No, no, I don't think it's that. I think it's unlocked. Jail broken is when you get into it and you can fuck with it, right? Yeah, yeah. So it says that if all the components were made in the U.S., it would push the cost up to $600, which they think would retail it for $2,000. Oh, so it'd be like a thousand bucks more. Wow. We got to pay what? A lot more in fucking wages.

Yeah. More than $12 a day, more like $200 a day. Yeah, probably more than that, right? Yeah. What's a union wage for a factory worker? I wonder in America. You know, and then people say, well, the cost of living is less over there. Like, okay, but so is the standard of living, you know?

I don't know, man. I'm no perfect person. I don't know. And where is this where they make these phones? China. A certain city in China, like a real fucking... I don't know. I don't know enough about it.

I probably should know more. But it's one of the dark things about the cell phone industry. I think they said the new one, they're going to make some. somewhere else. Why did I read, did I read that somewhere that they're going to make the new cell? They changed suppliers of something recently. I don't know. Let's see.

Is it Canada? Did I read that the new iPhone will be made in Canada? Did I read that or am I making shit up? I could Google that next. It says the average assembly line worker makes about $13 an hour. Wow. That's not a lot. I thought it'd be a lot more for a warehouse worker.

Yeah. Like 16, 18. Isn't it crazy that if you paid them that? Just paying them that, the cell phone would cost another thousand bucks. Now, you know what really kills me? That people jump all buildings, you know, slave labor. People don't give a fuck when it comes to Apple. They just don't give a fuck.

They really don't give a fuck. Who killed, who died? You know, people stop giving diamonds because somebody suffered. Tons of people suffer with those fucking iPhones. Nobody gives a fuck. Every time I walk to a different city and I walk in that mall and that Apple store, it's packed, Jack. At whatever time you walk past the fucking mall today, that Apple store, they're fucking just, those registers are ringing. Yeah.

How I haven't heard of somebody going into an Apple store with 20 guns? Like Kim Kardashian style is behind me beside me. If I was 22 today, like as crazy as I was, I'd be taken down the, Apple store. I don't think anyone needs the cash. You don't need the cash. I'd take all that fucking merch within eight minutes. I'd get it down to the guys like an heat. You're down to a fucking stopwatch.

Everybody down. Nobody wants to get hurt. I don't want to shoot nobody's fucking latte. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to shoot nobody's kale salad. Everybody down. You take their iPhones, you take all the iPhones and stock. Somebody should be doing this shit. Nobody's doing this shit. Everybody's scared to pieces.

All these. phones are locked in. They're like you could never sell them or use them. They're all locked into different contracts. Like they sell phones that are Verizon phones. They sell phones that are AT&T phones. You have to tell them when you buy it at the Apple store. What carrier are you?

Okay, we'll see if you have that. And they go get it and they bring it back. Like if you just bought a bunch of phones, good luck activating them. They have the serial numbers for all the phones. You show up in China town with a thousand iPads. You want to see those things cooked like boogie. iPads would be a different thing. That would be a different thing.

I show up in Chinatown with 100 iPads, watch them boo-y. Those motherfuckers show up with cash and take it out of the tea kettle. You understand me? Yeah, that's bullshit. There's some little Chinese kid somewhere that's decode and fucking phone. You know what, though? I got to disagree with you because you have to sign that thing up to iTunes. If you sign it up to iTunes, it's going to know what that computer is.

It's going to be able to read that computer. And if you have a stolen computer, it's going to find out. Unless you swipe, you wiped the operating system clean and installed some new shit in there. There's a Russian in Glendale. For $10, he'll scrape a computer brand new. And your history is shipped over there, and they're using your credit card within fucking minutes. So, don't know, I watched in that hotel room, and I couldn't sleep. I watched where America gets all the worst guns in the world.

Did you know what I know? Philippines. We get... Like all those guns without the numbers, like the good guns, the one thing you want to shoot people. Yeah. Starts in the Philippines. And a little hut, it's a family that's been making 45 since Jesus left Chicago because the 45 was created in the Philippines to shoot American soldiers or something. What?

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can hand-make a gun? These fucking Filipinos. You didn't know that? You got to see this. No, I figured guns had to have, like, special guns. Put on drugs and guns.

Well, do you know who makes guns? now? No. Jesse James, the motorcycle man. That guy who makes custom motorcycles? Yeah. But he uses his hand,

like he makes guns. Like he puts him together. Yeah, but he cheated on his wife. I don't trust that motherfucker. Those guns will backfire. You're going to pull a job. All of a sudden,

the gun fucking jam. Fuck him. These Filipinos, these guns go directly to Oakland. Do they? Oh my God. I was watching this. I'm like,

how did I not know this shit? It's crazy how they make these 45s by hand. But somebody told me why they did. The 45 was either for the Hawaiians or the Filipinos. They were made to either shoot either or or then were to shoot the American. Something fucking crazy. When you watch all this shit, that's what I know. Like they show computer theft on here and how they do it.

There's motherfuckers out that they could do anything, well. Did you find it? I found one in Jamaica, not in... No, no drugs ain't. And the guns. I was in shock. I never knew that. They make the gun without the...

Serial number? The serial number and how the gun is like drugs. Like it starts for 300 in the Philippines and then a thousand once it gets to the states in Florida. And then by the time it gets to Oakland, the gun is $1,600. The same way how it goes across like that. Look at that picture of the outlaw Josie Wills. Like back then, how did they make guns? Like what did they use for manufacturing?

Well, back then, isn't that wood in between? Yeah, the handle and then the bottom piece. They probably had like a, at least a, what is it called? We have like a mold for it. Yeah, there must have been some kind of mold, right? It would be interesting, like how big the company was that made pistols back then. Now, who made the shotguns in those? These are all companies that from these gun things when you look them up like, what's the Remington?

Well, no, the Italian gun. Italian. What's the name of that Italian shotgun? Beretta. Like the Beretta, you know. That's a family business. they've been making not a mafia business

like an Italian family business they've been making guns since time of memorial so it's like Remington one of those companies I read Smith and Wesson Smith and Weston those guys been around forever this was just the

the regular fucking whoever I'd be interested I don't even know what you're Well there's a bunch of There's a There's a West museum In Bozeman Montana And they have all these old guns there

And you can go see guns from a long-ass time ago. Pretty sure it was in Bozeman. Either way, they had guns all the way back to muskets, and it's wild, but there were companies. Now that I'm thinking about it, there's, I think Remington was probably even around back then. Winchester, that was another one, like a big name

company, but I'm sure there was some other big name companies that I'm not aware of. But when you look at that, you know what's interesting about that? Looking at Cleeney's one, that is supposed to be the 1800s, right? Like, when did they invent the bullet with the cartridge where it could just load in there, like that in a revolver. I mean, was it even

a hundred years old? Well, what year they shoot Abe Lincoln? That's it? That's the answer. That's the question, right? Yeah. Yeah, whatever year they shoot a hand. That was a revolver. They shoot him with a muscle? That was not an old, uh, that was not an automatic weapon. 1835. Yeah, so they've been good. When did they kill Lincoln? 1835. It was that year? That was the year of the

I don't know. I think what was the year Lincoln died? And what he get shot with Wikipedia what Lincoln gets shot with. Lincoln got shot in 65, 1865. Yeah. So 30 years, did you say 35 for the first one? So it was 30 years after the invention of the gun, you got shot?

You know what? You want to hear a crazy stat? Between the invention of the airplane and someone dropping an atomic bomb out of the airplane, it was less than 50 years. How crazy is that? Fucked up. Google, when was the invention of the airplane? Or I could do it to it if you're doing

something else. I was trying to find the gun who shot with. The invention. It had to be like a two-shot pistol. The invention of the plane. Three shot pistols. I don't think the six thing was developed. I could be wrong.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't. They had guns that you had to put one at a time. Like one bullet. Like the musket? Like, yeah. Like you had to open it if it was the one of the round, you had to put it in there and shoot them. So the Wright brothers were the ones who, essentially, there's a bunch of people working at it, but they were the ones who invented the airplane, right?

Pistol. Just a regular bit, it just says pistol. If you had a guess, when do you think they invented the airplane? Oh, Philadelphia, Derringer. 1735. I don't fucking know, Joe. You know I smoked 18 bonkins before I got it.

I don't know. 1900? 1903. Can you imagine being that first couple guys? Nope. Can I talk to you for a second, Listen, I want you to help me with this thing. Wow, 1903, 4 miles south of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Okay, so if they did that, they invented the airplane in 1903. And then 1947 was World War II when they dropped the bombs, right?

Wasn't it 47? I think it might have been 45. So think of that. That's 42 years? 42 years later, they're dropping bombs out of them? That's fucking insane. Yeah, August 6th, 1945. That's insane.

70 years later, they had first class lounges with a piano in them. Wow. With a pig that was cooked and you could go up and take the fucking pig with an apple in his mouth and a piano player on a plane. And you'd walk into first class. I'm kidding. You'd walk into first class. And you had cream and soap and shampoo and you had colognes.

Yeah. And you could put the colognes on. And people used to have... And people used to walk around the second floor. You could smoke on planes. Listen, if you get on a plane and they still got ashtrays, Abandon ship, all right? Well, there was a...

Yeah, no kidding. Abandoned. And this plane, there's a ton of them that still got ashtray. That you're sitting there scratching your head going, what the fuck am I doing on this plane? I'll never go back to Paducah. And the armrest or something?

Yeah, yeah, then the armrest. It's so scary. There's still planes with cigarette. There used to be a flight that you could take out of L.A. that everybody would brag about, but I never got a chance to do it. I think it was like the Warner Brothers playing. I think Warner Brothers, like one of the big studios

had a plane and they would you could get a flight on it somehow I don't remember how it worked like it was really hard to get but they did it like big shots and big movie stars and celebrities and stuff they'd fly on this thing and they would fly you from L.A. to New York and this thing and it had like couches and it was set up like a cool nightclub inside it was just like people would just lounge you get like 50 people on this plane and they would just lounge listen Led Zeppelin had a fireplace on that plane you understand me? Did they imagine a little gas fireplace? A fucking fireplace. Did they really? You're being serious. No, being serious. With actual fire? They had Nixon's plane.

Nixon's plane had fire in it? They took a lot of fire. Like a little fireplace where people could sit and drink a whiskey. They had like Nixon's plane. They bought like Nixon's plane or rented. I don't even want to Google whether or not

Nixon's plane actually had a fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Google Led Zeppelin plane. See what it says on there? Tremendous. I know you guys. I mean, would it would a private plane

never be something you would want if you're running. Google fucking Led Zeppelin's plan, all right? By the way, it's a thousand questions. Do I want a plane? Do I look like I want a plane? I look like Harrison's fucking forward to you. Would you trust me on a fucking plane? Yeah, Google whether or not it had a

fireplace. No, just to Led Zeppelin play. We'll tell you. It'll describe it to you. The name of the article is 70s rock star party plane of Zeppelin. God. They were probably balls. They had a bar. They had a bar. Oh, shit. I have to put this up. Yeah. Watch this. This is the real deal.

guys weren't fucking around. When they came over here in 73, they had the plane and that manager, that gangster from England that was shooting people, he would get off the plane, six foot fucking six. You gotta see this. Really? These guys would look at this. Wow, Led Zeppelin Airlines.

God. Were they the... I mean, there's all the plagiarism things, right? With them, like people still say they stole songs and riffs and stuff like that. But, do you Hold on, slow that down. Oh, you want to read it?

Okay. Yeah, Bowling, refurbished in the early 70s by team. Bobby Sherman's manager. The Plain Palin' the Sky's service, among others, Led Zeppin, the Stones, Coke, Fletter Top, Blue Drop in the 70s, Duck Soup, Stores. Keep going, see what it said it had on that. So let me, you want me to read, but this is fascinating. Hold on a second.

Scroll that down. Look what they're saying here. I'll scroll down. No, up. Oh. Sorry. So look at this. A probable inspiration for Austin Power's Shagadelic 747.

The starship brimmed with gaudy cheek delights. There was a bedroom with a king-sized waterbed, a drawing room with a fake fireplace, a 30-foot brass trim bar with a built-in electric organ, a prehistoric video system stocked with everything from deep throat to duck soup, and two stewardesses to cater the velvet-trousered minstrel. fresh from their Madison Square Garden gigs. Holy shit.

Oh my God, look at this. This is their plane. They're hanging out with Elton John. He's playing the organ. Wow. It was a flying fucking Jen Palace. Richard Cole. Look at that.

Look at him with his shirt off. Look at Robert Plant. Did he ever have a shirt buttoned? Look at all these guys rocked it. They just left their shirt wide open. Like, that was how you rocked it if you were a rock star. They never did a sit-up in their life. Like, look at the picture of them.

Slow down. You want to look at the gallery or do you want to... Look at the picture of them. Never did a sit-up in his life on the left. Never did a set up on the right. It was straight cocaine. That was straight cocaine then. But they were just gods.

They were like rock gods. I mean, think about what those guys represented back then. You could see their cocks pressed against their pants. That was all, yeah. That was done. Look at. Who the hell had that before? No shirt. And everybody's cock is like tilted,

towards their left. We'll see them. They're like all three. One of them. Second to the right is Jimmy Page is bucking the trend. Yeah, Led Zeppelin was the first. Jimmy's got his dick going the other direction. Look at this.

Led Zeppelin was the first to lease the plane. Wow. After a white-knuckle flight from Oakland to Los Angeles. And a tiny Falcon 20 business jet terrorized the entourage. Oh, so they got a little tiny plane for a while, and they almost died. One time Led Zeppelin suffered from almost surreely bad press. Rolling Stone suggested the band changed its name to Limp Blimp, and it was thought that Starship might earn the groups of respect.

It was an extremely useful tool because inviting a journalist onto the plane, the story kind of wrote itself, said Danny Goldberg, Led Zeppin's publicist for the tour, who had been hired to gin up positive coverage. The novelty value was significant. So listen to what that's, like, they were saying that Rolling Stones weren't getting any respect. Rolling Stones never gave Led Zepp. I mean, not, Rolling Stone never gave Led Zeppelin. Yeah, they fucking hated Led Zeppelin.

That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. How could they hate Led Zeppelin? Hold on. Like, if you hear a whole lot of love, how could you hate that? They, they fucking panned all the albums. How could they pan that? So they had to eat shit at the end because it doesn't really fucking matter.

Dude, when I first heard Led Zeppelin, I was 14 years old or 13 years old, somewhere around that. It was when I first moved to Boston. That's when I first become, there was a girl that lived up the street, they used to kind of molest everybody, but everybody let her. Like she was 21, and we were all, like, teenagers, and she made out with, like, everybody. But she had great taste of music.

And she introduced me to ACDC. She introduced me to... The first song I ever heard from Led Zeppin was Black Dog. And it blew your fucking mind. It blew mine. I couldn't believe what they were singing. Yeah, I was like, wow. Then I saw the poster of them.

I'm like, wait a second. These guys are fucking crazy. They were doing something powerful, that's for sure. The fact that Rolling Stone didn't like them back then is so strange. I wonder what it was. Listen, man, they put those things on YouTube, and I watched them, and I got a little sad. They put the comparisons between songs. Oh, the same.

They're the same songs. And I got a little sad, you know. And I know what they were thinking, you know, but the trial that happened six months ago was really fucking crazy. Because even me, it was a Led Zeppelin lover, I could tell that there was something. something, something. I could hear something there. It's when I first heard that song from that fucking white dude.

And I'm like, this is fucking Marvin Gaye's song. How was this that Marvin Gaye song? I grew up on this fucking song. I know a mile away. 100%. And all of a year later, Marvin Gay's estate, Marvin Gay's estate did not fuck around. Marvin Gay's estate was handled by his son

who it was minus 40 fucking million in taxes. And the grapes, and then he cut up. Remember the California Graves? I heard it through the grapevine. Yeah. That and the fucking albums he kept putting out. He took all the wrong songs out of the vault.

His son turned that around. And his son was a savage. So as soon as I heard that song, but with the Led Zeppelin, the stay away to heaven, they were guilty. They were guilty of a couple. But I will tell you something.

There's not a fucking jury to convict them out. Why not? Why not? Yeah, I mean they can. stay away to heaven for a second. I know. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to tell you why not. I'm going to tell you why not. Because this is how it got me. This is how I answered it

in my head. I was thinking about it and it came on in the fucking car. My wife was in the car and all of a sudden dog, I got goosebumps. And I thought my head was going to blow up because they stole it. But there's one thing about this. And I know you, the other night, what was the song we were singing

as we walked into the fucking theater? What was that? What was that song we were singing? Keep putting on Led Zeppelin Stay Way to Heaven. What was that song over a second? How long have you heard that song in your life? What song was it? Do you remember? Just free the people to give my soul. I want to give

locks in your rock and what does that song do to you? What does that song do to you? You've heard that song since you were kidding. Your mom played it. Somebody played that jam. Fast forward this lead to the guitar solo. Fast forward. How far is that? Three minutes. Just play with it. A little more. A little more. A little more. Two minutes. Keep going a little, just a little, 30 seconds. And I didn't figure it out until then.

Leave it right there. Just listen to this, Joe Roker. You're in your car, you're driving up the coast. Just those lyrics. We've been listening for that since we were 12, bro. It's a part of who the fuck we are. It's a part of who America is. This defined America when people were crying about the Beatles

and waiting for the Beatles to get back This saved This was it This was the band day You can't take that band day I was like they can't They can't overrule this No jury

No keep it Keep it Just listen to this power This is real power This is part of who the fuck you are Yeah And it's beautiful This is just beautiful

It is So you can't No jury They go You know what Yeah but here's a thing Part of it came from those other people.

This is just, this is like going on, it's like the high school diploma, Doug. And here's the hammer of the guys. Are you fucking kidding me? This is, and if it was the number one

most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row. Did you know that? Number one most requests a song. Right here, the thunder and the drums. Okay, Lee, do me a favor. Go to, um,

go to, um, Go to Led Zeppelin's stole songs. You could show me the comparison, because the person who told me about this was Burr. He called me up, and he goes, dude, it'll break you hot. It'll break you hot. When you hear it, it'll break you hot. They fucking stole.

They stole like a million different songs. Yeah, your glasses, Joe. Yeah, I do. What do you need? Who are you choking there? No, I'm not choking. That kid's guard. It's tight.

Look at the size of me. Look at the size of me. Look at the size of him. That's hilarious. That's a good, you're a good guy to work guard with. Jesus Christ. Like work sweeps with and shit? Oh, my God.

You know? And these guys, they fucking, uh... Like, if you, somebody could sweep you? And it's a totally different kind of working out. I love it. It's the best. I love it. It's such a good.

I balls off. I could smell the weed. Such a good way to work out. Did you find that video? I think so, yeah. Yeah, that's like two different things. Yeah. It's like two different things.

Yeah. let's listen I think this is Taurus Yeah this is not Led Zeppelin folks So stop and think about Do you think they stole

Fuck yeah they did I'm not a musician No no I don't understand Do you know anything about Core progression Lee Do you know like Yeah he knows

I don't know that existed He played my food In high school See this is where we need Eddie Bravo Eddie Bravo could explain to us What that sounds like Like what the How it's the same song

This is Led Zeppelin This is Led Zeppelin It's the same song. Oh, the first album is covered with stolen shit. This is actually a little better. Yeah, no, no, no. This is, in their mind, that's what happened. They heard it when they played together.

Yeah. Well, they, look, let's just call it what it is. You know, it's stealing. Does this the only song that they have? I just chose one for stairway to heaven so I could get another one. But, you know, I think if you look at who they were, they were amazing. I mean, they're finished. product, what they were able to put together was fucking amazing. And whether it came out of those

four guys' heads or those four guys' heads and some other people's heads, too, it's the effort, the culminative effort of those artists to put all that music together and make these insane songs. The real problem is somebody didn't get credit for it. That's the real problem. The real problem is somebody didn't get paid, you know, and they definitely used it for their end product. So if you looked at it, like, say if you had a car, you're putting together a car, and there's a bunch of different components there's a transmission, there's the engine, but they want to put your transmission in.

But they don't want to pay you for your design, so they just copy it and put it in there. And then you find out, hey, but this is all my engineering. I did all this research and development, and all you did is copy it, exactly. They're supposed to say, yeah, you're right, here's some money. And then the question would be,

well, how much money do they deserve? That's the problem, because they probably deserve a fuck load of money. How many times they play it in concert? It's kind of, oh, it's kind of, they've got forensic fucking people in there. It would be insane. So it wouldn't just be a matter of a little bit of money. It would be a matter of economy changing money.

So it's going to be hard to get someone to sign off on it. And for probably, I mean, I don't understand too much about how the legal system works. But I would imagine that the lawyers that represent Led Zeppelin must be out of this fucking world. Yeah, no, they're big time. That's the record label. They sell their soul to save. Yeah, you would be, you would be betting against. the most ruthless savages in the history.

Listen, relax. They fucking, they rob people to death, the music industry. Did you ever read that Courtney Love article that she wrote? Where she explained,

she broke down the music industry. No. She broke down what everybody gets paid. It's really well written. It's so well written that they accused somebody else of writing it, and she got a ghost writer. That's how well written it is. because it goes into detail about how artists get fucked

and how musicians get fucked and where all the music goes or where the money rather for the music goes and how little of it actually makes it down to the artist and this is back when they were selling records. Now it's weird because right now the touring is where I guess the artists make their money. And Joe, you said that you didn't think someone would find them. I think if they got the right jury,

a younger jury who didn't have as much attachment to Led Zeppelin, I think they might see it from that point of you. I think it's well known now that artists don't make that much money from their music anymore. So I think like some people might... I mean, they tried to... They said they stole this in 1970.

That was the problem right there. It was 47 fucking years ago. 47 years of owing them millions of dollars. Millions of dollars. Like you were talking... For that song, you might be talking like $500 million or something crazy. It might be more than that. That might be like conservative.

You're talking about... about the, if not the biggest super band, one of the biggest super bands of all time, that toured everywhere. And you got to remember, in 1973 in this country, we did $2 billion in music sales. I saw it on the 70s. It was the biggest year tour, and everybody was on the road. Everybody from Earth 1 and Fire, the Temptations, Led Zeppelin, the Stones, Pink Floyd, everybody was on the road in those days. Erasmith, this was a fucking masterpiece of people, Ted Nugent. Did you ever see searching for Sugar Man? No, the one that won the Oscar about the musician, Elvis or something like that, the Mexican Elvis.

No, he was huge in South Africa, and he never knew it. He was a huge star. And there was all these legends about what happened to him and how he died. And his music is good, man. It's good. It just, for whatever reason, it didn't hit in the 1970s when he released it. And so this guy became like a laborer, and he worked conservative. And he raised a family and he stuck around, but he still kept like practice in his music.

And then one day, someone found him and they couldn't even believe it was him. They thought that he was dead. And someone found him and told him, hey man, you've been huge in South Africa forever, huge. He was like, what? And he went over to South Africa. Like after he'd been poor for like 30 years or something like that, you know. Like literally living in a place where he's got like a wood stove and he's been. burning fire in the wood stove, burning logs in there, stay warm. They show him doing this.

He goes over South African, sells out arenas. They can't even believe it when they see him. They can't believe it. He starts singing songs. They know the words. They sing along with him. He's coming back from the dead. It's insane. It's more than he's coming back from the dead. It's like this guy was a huge superstar. And he was impoverished. Like he was almost like live in a fake life for 30 years. They didn't even know. How do they become a youth in South Africa? They play this music on the radio. So one guy found it.

Could be. Could be one guy found it. Sometimes that shit happens. Did he have an album out? Yeah. He had a couple. And he'd made no money on him. No.

They didn't give him a fucking dime. They apparently made, he made one that he had a chance to make the second one. And he really, you know, they gave it a big push, but it just didn't catch. And they don't know why. You know, maybe it was what the album looked like. you know, maybe it was, people just didn't give it a chance. But it was good.

He's a good musician. After that, second album, he quit. But that music made its way to South Africa. It made me cry. It really did. I just like, it was... I forgot all about it. Somebody told me to watch it and I have forgotten all about it.

Now I'm watching it. I was getting tears. I was tearing up because I was watching it. I was like, this is... This story is amazing. Because the story is about this guy that just became this weird, sort of humble,

guy who's really philosophical and kind of zen about life. And he gave all the money away. All the money he made Torrin after it became huge in South Africa. He gave it away. Went back to living just like how he was living before. At least that's what they tell you. That's the legend. I hope not.

Well, you know, I don't know. I mean, maybe he was happier that way. Maybe he just decided that at his age, I think he's in his 60s, at his age, all of a sudden, becoming this big star and going to South Africa and flying across the world and making money and not knowing why you're doing it and you know and everybody says you're supposed to do it he didn't like it i think he just wanted a quiet more peaceful life and maybe still touring a little bit but damn i bought the album i bought uh whatever he has out there whatever i could buy on it i think it's one it might be two albums so i think it's one

let's make sure he's getting the fucking money yeah i hope so they've been taking it from for the last 30 years these cocks suckers now itunes comes along and gives you a 40-60 split i wonder what they would give him in South Africa for all the times they sold his records. Listen, man, I heard something that John Oates, Darrell, Hall Notes, in the end of 1990, they had sold 8 million records and they both had $50 on their bank account. Whoa. Where'd you hear that? On Eddie Trunk, on Sirius Radio, that he's going to release a book now.

The music business is as filthy as it gets. don't get it. When we had Danny Brown, I tried to have him explain to me all this mixtape world and how I don't get it. I don't get it. I see an album. I buy an album for $8.99. It sells a million albums.

What's that? $8.9 million? I think, right? Yeah. $899 million? No. $8.99. $8.99.

But just think of $9. Okay. It sells a million, $9 million. $9 million. $9 million. How much does that? the hardest get. They got like two million. I wonder. The record label. I walked

into the weed store today and they were playing Billy Gene. The video. That's the first time I saw him. It was the last time you saw Billy Gene 15 fucking years ago. I started looking at it. I thought about the, that's when a record label put up a half a mill for a video. Yeah. A half a fucking milk.

You remember when Madonna had that like a virgin? No, no. Like prayer? Is that what it was? I'm Pepsi. And she brought the black Jesus. Yeah, that's right. And people went fucking bananas. You know, all of them. And then Coke or somebody signed Michael Jackson's hair went on fire.

Yes. Yeah, that's what started the pain pill addiction. Because when he died, they realized that whole thing was a wig. Oh, man, he burnt his hair off. The whole time it had been a wig. He had scars in the back and the whole thing. Oh, wow. They lit him on fire and burnt his hair off.

That's why he sued Coca-Cola, whoever it was, Pepsi, Coca-Cola. Wow, that makes sense. I mean, especially you consider all the chemicals he used to have in his hair, you know? In 84, yeah. The hair spray is super flammable. That's what started the pain. That's when he started telling people he was getting pain in his neck.

He couldn't sleep at night, so that's how he was getting all his medication. And then he'd go to these different parties and mingle, spread the word, and they tell him, stop by tomorrow. We got a fucking bag of goodies for your house. Wow. And that's what led to him, you know, fucking shit. shooting, whatever the fuck he was shooting at the end. Well, he was taking tranquilizers at the end.

They were using, like, sedatives on them to make him go to sleep. So, essentially, they were putting him under sedation every night. They were using anesthesia. They were just, they were just conking them out. Like, but I guess when you do that, you go out and shit, but you don't really sleep. Like, part of what you need is not just to be unconscious. You need to go through those cycles, those cycles in your head. And when you're under anesthesia, you're not going through those cycles.

I'm not a doctor. No, no, no, I get you. It's like getting surgery. It's like when I got my nose surgery, one minute you're there. And the next minute you're gone. You don't remember shit about what happened. You wake up, you don't really know if you're tired or if you're slept or not. It's kind of a weird feeling.

It is weird. You kind of think about the lights. You see the lights and you can't remember what's going on. So I don't know how they get to date. I know if you get fucking done one time, it's pretty fucking. bad for you. If you get done? Like if you get anesthesia, people watch it. People say it's not good. Like these people who get plastic surgery way before the chick died. I had heard about that, that there was a problem. Well, there's a real problem, apparently. One thing that happens,

Dr. Mark Gordon wrote a paper about it, about trauma and sedation, long-term effects of sedation for, like major operations like heart surgery, heart surgery. Something happens where it can really fuck with your hormonal system. Like apparently those long-term under-sedation times when they got you under anesthesia for a big operation are super fucked. Like your body does not like it. When your body comes back,

a lot of people suffer from depression, not just from the trauma of the operation itself, but also from the disruptance of your immune system and disrupt your non-immune system, your hormone system, something about going under the knife under that long. It does some wacky shit to you. And it makes people feel really listless and depressed.

And it causes all sorts of like a whole cascade of mental issues. And depression related issues can come. Just had a long term. It's anesthesia. Once in a mile, what are you angry about? You're okay? I'm not angry about anything. No, it's just, it must, like, when you go have surgery, doesn't the anesthesiologists have to, like, they have a person there with you the whole time?

That's not what we're saying. No, no, but when I'm like, didn't Michael Jackson just get that and they let him sleep? Like, it's dangerous. Like what you're saying is... Yeah, that's why he's dead. Exactly, yeah. But sometimes you go to Mexico for surgery. You save $8,000, and there's no anesthesiologist.

It's just a Mexican named Paco that comes in and shoots you with syringe just by looking at you. He's 5'4 6, maybe 160. Dude, I've heard a lot of people go to Mexico to get shit done. No, they have to. There's a lot of stem cell stuff down. A lot of stem cell cancer. they fucking cure you down there. Really?

Pink, bang, boom. I know a guy who did one of those things. What do you do that? Go fund me. He got 50 Gs. He went to Mexico. Really? Six months he's healed.

This guy used to work downtown, take a bus to North Hollywood, get off, and drive his bike up north a few fucking miles on this railroad track right here. Do you have to work? To Woodland Hills, yeah. He was in good shape, and he got that asshole cancer.

Bikes seats. No way. The bike seat wore his asshole? It's a joke. It might be. Who knows why Lance Armstrong got? He got that thing. Well, Lance Armstrong got it

because he was shooting heavy duty DDT. That dude was even doing anti-freeze when he rode his bike in the wintertime. Fuck him. He lost a nut, dog. I thought about that one night. High as fuck.

I had friends that shot Coke. I had friends that went on endless cycles and they're still cooking. They got their hair. They look good. They got teeth. Fucking his nut blasted off. I have a friend.

I have a friend. who did, I told you, did blow and his mother would shoot him with the steroid at the same time. He's still alive and kicking a living in a half a million dollar house in Pennsylvania. And Lance Armstrong blew a fucking nut. Please stop saying. Well, you got cancer.

Sure. How do you think he got cancer there? Well, Duncan got it too. Duncan got the same cancer. Duncan got it from reading all that Buddhist shit. That shit gets after a while, you know what I'm saying? Especially when you're from the South, he can't be reading that Buddhist shit.

Oh, my God. Well, I'm sorry. I got it because they go on endless cycles. You were telling me. They go on oxygen, some shit that they're given more. EPO. EPO. That shit of fucking cat.

Now, do a lot of those bicycle people get that shit? I don't think so. I think it's just a genetic thing. I think, who knows? I mean, it could be stress-related. There's a lot of factors that could play into it when someone gets cancer. You know, some of it's environmental, some of it's genetic. Some of it's, you know, just...

dumb luck, you know. Diet has a lot to do with apparently. Apparently, like what you were saying about the guy that you know, that kicked it by getting rid of sugar, apparently that is a pretty profound effect. If you can eliminate sugar and a lot of simple carbohydrates from your diet, a lot of refined flour, apparently has a pretty good effect on your level of inflammation and your immune system strengthens. And that alone helps a lot of people who are battling anything, whether it's cancer or

what have you. But there's a lot of people that swear that that can turn it around, especially if you can get your body burning fat. It's really interesting stuff, man, because most of our diet, like, pretty much the majority of the American diet is filled with some kind of sugar. Something to keep you going. Even low-fat milk has sugar in it. Did you know that? Yeah. Low-fat milk has sugar in it so it doesn't taste terrible. There's fucking sugar in low-fat milk because sugar's not fat. That's so retarded we are when it comes to food. Like almost every, like, granola. Bar, you think you're, oh, I'm getting a granola bar. I'm eating a goddamn candy bar.

That's a candy bar. All it is is a sugar. I've always known that shit. All that stuff makes your body inflamed. And it makes you, it fucks up, your insulin levels, does all sorts of weird stuff to your body. Because you're not, your body's not designed to take in that amount of sugar. Like the body that we have today is the same bodies that people had 10,000 years ago. When there was no refined sugars, when you got your sugar from fruit.

And that's what people know, that's, that's what your body's designed. When your body wants to eat a pear, it gets fruit, it chews into it. It gets the sugar and everything attached to all the fiber and that's how your body digested healthily. But when you get scooped up a spoonful of sugar that came from some factory and they figured out of a suck it out of sugar cane or whatever the fuck they get it from. Beats. You know, there's a bunch of different sources of sugar that they extracted from. But it's a refined sugar and you're getting in a form that your body doesn't know what to do with. It doesn't have that ever in nature. So all that is, you know, corn syrup like when you get like a Coca-Cola that is filled with something your body has no idea what it is it's like how is this in liquid your body's like what the fuck is this like this dude's got 25 30 grams of sugar coming at me in a liquid form and you like your body doesn't know about anything like that in nature so you you get fat you feel listless it gets you to you get tired you go up and down that's all insulin crashing So those guys get cancer?

I was drinking fucking 22 coaks a day. I know exactly what you're doing. I know exactly how was it to get off. In the morning, I went from Coke to Diet Coke. Then I just got clean and sober. Diet Coke is not better. I do one every now and then. Diet Coke is not better.

When I'm getting crazy, getting crazy, I'll have me a Diet Coke. Let me tell you something. If I taste the Coke now, I could feel the difference. Oh, yeah. It's horrible. You leave that going, oof, I'll never drink that again. You get used to that flavor. You get used to that corn syrup taste with the carbonation.

It's cold. Oh, listen, I was a buttered roll Coca-Cola type of dude growing up, man. Who knows how bad it was for you at those early ages when your body's developing? Who the fuck knew? You know what the biggest bullshit bait and switch act in the world is? Fountain soda. When was the last time you had a fountain soda that tasted remotely as good as one that's right from a can? They just aren't.

Period. There's some coax. I like fountain soda. It's all right. With sugar. It's okay, but it's not the same thing. It's not like you don't enjoy it. Like, if you get a Diet Coke from a fountain, it's okay.

It's okay. It's not like you don't enjoy it. But it is not as good as out of the can. When you get it out of the can... What about the fucking bar? Disgusting. You're getting the full formula when you get it out of the can. It's a consistent experience every time.

You get a cold Coke, you crack it open, you drink it. It tastes the same way every time. Same thing with a Diet Coke. Same way every time. But if you go to a fountain, you get some weird sub-flavors. Things are water. down sometimes. They get light in the syrup.

Yeah. They fake that it's Coke and they stick some funky ass R.C. Cola syrup in that machine. Oh, no, R.C. Cola's disgusting. I would know R.C. fucking cola. Shit, you can't drink the Cuban from Coca-Cola. I drank that shit for years, Joe Rogan. Do you remember when you were a kid and you were poor and you'd get generic soda? I used to have...

Do you remember that? Coca-Cola. I can't do it. I used to have Coca-Cola in my house, but my mom at the bar used to sell bar soda. So, Coka-Cola, 7-Up was lemon-up. Oh, that's hilarious. Coca-Cola was up-Cola or something crazy. Root B had a different name to it.

So my mom would bring the cases to the house of lemon-up, Coke, a fucked-up Dr. Pepper that tastes like turpentine and something else, like diet. In those days, the big diet soda was Tab. Tad was like a motherfucker with a slice of lemon in it. Good, googly-moo-moogly. saccharine right that was yeah that that was the first the first diet soft drink tab and girls always drank tabs i'll have a tab a tab it's like my mom's friends it would all have a tab and

tahitian treat was when you got from me we went the chicken delight when you went the chicken the light and got three pieces of chicken with french fries they always had tahitian heat like a motherfucker that's that red soda let me ask you this go ahead how the fuck did coca cola ever gain any ground over root beer when root beer is so much more delicious it had cocaine in it. Ooh, that's right. All those years, people were drinking that shit. When did they take cocaine out of it?

Are you ready for this? Yeah. They didn't. They don't have the active ingredient in cocaine, but they're flavored with coca leaves. They use Coca-leaves. And, you know, Coca-Cola gets its Coca-leaves from a manufacturer that strips them to make medical-grade cocaine.

In New Jersey. Yes. In New Jersey. There's a huge, huge industry for medical-grade cocaine. and what people don't know, like, well, cocaine's illegal. No, it's not. No, cocaine is not illegal. Cocaine is illegal for you, but it's not illegal for the medical industry.

So they bring in cocoa leaves, and they use the flavor from that cocoa leaves to this day to flavor Coca-Cola. What medical use does cocaine have? You can make lidocaine with it, which is a numbing agent. They put on people when they're having operations. They pump that shit up my nose. So when they say it's liquid cocaine, it literally is liquid cocaine. The kid, I kid that. That's different.

Lytocaine is different because it doesn't have the psychoactive effects. But what it does do is it makes you feel like shit. It doesn't have that. Like, if you ever put that stuff on you, Lytocane, it makes you feel like shit. I put some on my back last week because I had a really bad sunburn, like real bad. I went to Mexico and I fucked up and I didn't put sunscreen on my back. I was just sitting out there for a while. And I burnt hard where the next day it was sweating.

And I was like, ah, like just agony, right? So they put this lytocane on me and I felt like a little numb. Like it numbed it a little bit But the way I felt For the rest of the day Was so shitty You just feel like It's the cocaine without the up

Yeah That's what it probably is It's the cocaine without the up You feel real down You feel real weak Like after like an hour or two Like I guess it's almost like What cocaine would do to you

But you feel like my appetite Was suppressed I just feel like Yeah It's the other way without the high And it was just This was just some over the counter shit There's just some

sunscreen spray That has a small amount of lydicane in, but just putting that shit, or sunburn spray, putting that shit all over my back, like, fucked with my system. Like, I could tell. I could feel it. Because it's the same feeling that I got when I had my nose done.

When I had my nose fixed and they cleaned out my deviated septum, they pumped all this lydicane up there. And then I went out to dinner that night and I was thinking, I was feeling weak. I felt like, God, I feel like, why am I dragging ass like this? And draw, it weighs on your body. Yeah, like, I felt weak, like physically. Like, it weighs on your body. not your immune system, but yes, your whole...

When you do blow, you feel like you got hit by a fucking train the next day. I'm so glad I avoided that. Thank God. God, thank God. You got to go, brother? No. Are you sure? Yeah.

No, I don't even at 10. I didn't just ask you. If we could go, we could stay. No, no, we're good to go. I just didn't know what the fuck is going on. I got to ask you a few questions. You have to like Dominic Cruz. There's something very interesting when he came to the show in Buffalo.

He said that it's really a... lot of mental stuff. Fighting. And that's been dawning. I mean, like I've been thinking about it. He said that when guys don't make weight, sometimes it's mental. And I was like, wow, I never thought about it. Dominic Cruz is a great guy to ask anything about M.MA because he's so knowledgeable.

And he's been doing it for so long. And he's a smart dude. And he's always thinking it through. He's constantly thinking things through. And you guys were really good Saturday, man. He's great. No, you guys together were really, everybody was really good. John Anick knew when to talk.

He's like that. He's like a meathead. Like he went to talk and he was very good, but he couldn't compete with you two guys. You guys were on the money, especially with the Chris Wyden incident. I saw it. I thought there were legal needs from the jump. Well, it's hard for Merglietta. Here's two reasons why it's hard for Mergliata. First of all, he's a giant. Like you have to understand, Dan Mergliazza is like 6 foot 5, 300 pounds. He's a huge man. I mean, he's fucking huge. He towers over most of the fighters. And so he's above these guys. And if Musasi is pinning down Wideman, so he's got him in a headlock, right? And he's pulling him down, and he's kneeing him in the face like he was. Think of how tall Murgliata is in the first place, right? Like this?

Now think he's looking down at these guys kneeing each other in the head. He's got to stay close by in case something happens. There's no way he could see those hands from where he was standing. So he took an educated guess based on his many, many years. were refereeing that both hands were down. And it was so close, you would have to be on the other side of the ring looking at the ground

to know whether or not it was touching. If you're above it, the way Murgliata was, how could he know? He really couldn't know. And it's not his fault. He's an excellent referee. The fault is that the athletic commission, under situations like this, doesn't use an instant replay. And they should

because it's the fair thing to do to make sure that the fight is, it's fair. And I think Wydeman could have gone on. I think had there been a question whether or not it was legal, they could look at the instant replay, and then they make the call. The strikes are legal. We're going to continue. And you either continue them from the exact same position and say ready go, or you have a protocol in place. Like you have to separate them, go back to your corners, and re-engage, which is bad for Musasi, because Musasi had him in a good position and was landing strikes.

So it's impossible for Dan Merglietta to be absolutely certain from where he was standing as big as he is looking down like that. I would just imagine it probably looked like Wideman's hands were touching. When we saw it in the replay, I asked them to show me different angles. Different angles, yes. I'm like, because at the first they said, look, it looks like it's illegal. And then I said, I don't see his fingers. I want to see his fingers. Let me see his fingers. And then when we went to one where you see his fingers, you can see Musasti lift him up, which is what you're supposed to do. So the only reason why Wydenman had his hands down like that is because he thought that could prevent him from getting hit. He didn't have his hands down like that

because it's an offensive gesture. He's not, like, putting his hands down there because it's a next move. You know, what he's doing is he's dealing with the fact that Musasi has his neck, he's dealing with the fact that he's getting a knee and head, and he's thinking the best way to stop is to put my two hands down.

Because, like, that's not a position that you would ever be in if you were trying to hurt somebody, right? So what he's trying to do is trying to stop the knees or figure out what to do and catch his mind because he's been tagged a few times in this round. He got hurt, and those two knees hit him hard. And then the referee tells him it's an illegal knee, So he sits, he's like, okay, well, let me take this time to take a break.

I deserve it. I got hit with an illegal knee. So in his eyes, he's doing what you're supposed to do if somebody fouls you. In his eyes, I got fouled. He doesn't know. He got hit with two fucking hard knees, right? They tell him it was illegal. He thinks it's illegal.

So he goes on about it like it's illegal. So he sits down. Then the doctors come over and examine him. And then someone tells him, I believe it was John McCarthy tells Dan Mergliata that it was a legal knee. He's like, it was legal. I just watched the replaying. He shows it to Dan. There's nothing Dan can do now.

We've showed the replay over and over now to the people that were watching on pay-per-view, and we're like, they're illegal. These knees are legal. This is just a mistake. And so then they don't know what to do. They don't really have a protocol in place. So they stop the fight. And they give a TKO victory to Gagor-Missasi, which is crazy.

Because Dan was in no way going to stop the fight right there. Like it wasn't like Wyatman was getting hit so hard. He was right about to stop it. And then they say, oh, those knees are illegal. They weren't illegal. But I was going to stop it. anyway, so let's stop the fight. It's not that. No, it's the fight was going on and it was stopped just because of a mistake, a mistake by the commission that they didn't understand, they didn't

have a good protocol in place to start a fight up and they don't have a protocol in place to check an instant replay under really, really difficult to discern violations like this. Because it's really hard for me, a professional commentator who's right next to the cage. I'm right there, dude. I'm touching the floor where the cage is on and I can't figure out of it. if it's legal or not. I have to watch the replay. So Dan, in the heat of the moment, I mean, he's watching two of the best 185 pounds in the world, right?

Gagard Musassi's tagged Wyman. Wyman keeps taking him down. It's a fucking battle, man. It's a battle between two world-class fighters. And Wyman's got hard, he could have come back from that. He's taking those hard knees. Who knows what he would have done? He might have pulled guard and pulled Musassi on top of him and got the sweep

and the round goes on. Look what just happened with Darren Elkins and that crazy comeback that he had. Did you see that fight that you had? Jesus Christ. Mersad Bechtick, who's his fucking super high-level up-and-coming guy. This was this weekend? No, this was like two...

Oh, yeah, I saw that one. Yeah, he took the beating to the death to the end. The beating of his life to the third round that he knocks the guy out. And it was the world erupted, right? Yeah, the place from bananas. A guy like Wydenman is just like a guy like Darren Elkins. He can come back from the dead. You might stop him.

I mean, Darren Elkins would stop. Chad Mendes fucked him up. But he might fuck you up in the third round, too. So you've got to give a champion, like Wydeman the benefit of the doubt. So the problem, I don't believe that it was Dan Mergliata's fault. I think Dan thought he was doing the right thing. And his mindset is to protect the fighters at all time. If it's an illegal knee, he's got to step in.

I just think it was so close, it was hard to tell. And then in the heat of this exchange, it's all crazy. And it's a very high-level fight. And it's super important. And it's in New York. And so when the commission didn't know what the fuck to do, that's when it became a problem. That's when almost I wish someone. was there, like what I would have done, I would have said, don't stop the fight because the fight wasn't going to be stopped. Let's restart the fight from the position that it's in right there. Where you going?

Oh, you need some air? So, uh, I wouldn't have stopped the fight either. It wasn't his, it wasn't his decision to stop the fight. It was the commission's decision. I'm pretty sure. And I think it was just because they didn't know what else to do. I think they just didn't know, they didn't have a thing to do in place. It's hard. It takes a while to figure out how. to correctly referee and judge and officiate in a state athletic commission that hasn't had mixed martial arts before. And all of a sudden they have it. So you don't have a lot of experience referees. The referees are going to have to come from other places, guys like Big John or Dan Mergliata. And then the commission, unfortunately, even though the referees were in place that were

really high level, there's a commission that's really not used to doing this. And it's not their fault. They just don't have the experience. Nevada State has it down. California has it down. Andy Foster in California, he might be the best guy in the business. He's a former fighter,

lifelong martial artist, super smart guy, and he's on the ball with everything. With weight cutting, he's on the ball with drugs, he's on the ball with, he wants to have more weight classes. He wants to do hydration tests

on fighters and keep him from doing this. He wants to prevent them from doing this. Now, do they have instant replay in California and Nevada? Is that? Yes. I do believe they have it in Nevada. I do not know if they have it in California. Actually, can you look that out?

Find out what states have instant replay. I think they added it in New Jersey. I'm treating you like your Jamie. No, it's okay. I'll apologize for that. I give it instincts. Just ask someone to Google. I don't want to... I think they added it to play in New Jersey.

Something happened in New Jersey. They should do it everywhere. There's no reason to not have it. There's no reason to not have an instant replay. Just in case. If there seems like there's some sort of a foul, if it's an eye poke, if it's a groin shot, like if you can't look at an instant replay, how can you tell? And there have definitely been fighting.

been fights where people have lost, where they probably should have, their opponent should have been disqualified, like where they got kicked low, and it didn't look like it got kicked low to the referee, and they stopped the fight. That has happened before. That happened with James Krause when he fought Bobby Green in on a military base, one of those fight for the troops, and he got hit with a low shot, and then another one. He might have got hit with three, but he definitely got hit with two. and the last one was a shin right across the cup.

I mean, you could hear it, crack. It wasn't an intentional shot. It's just one guy's really tall. One guy's not as tall. Neither guys are dirty fighters. They're both honorable fighters. It's just an accidental foul. It just happens, man.

But when it happens, I mean, look, like, it's not, no one's trying to kick somebody in the balls most of the time. Most of the time, a guy's trying to kick the leg and he just misses. Like, you can't kick everything you aim at. Otherwise, you just be lighten each other up. I mean, that's the whole thing. It's hard to hit people. So that's why Anderson Silva

kicked Chris Wyman's knee like that. He didn't want to. He wanted to hit him on the inside of the leg, but Wyman got his leg up in time and then smash his fucking shinbone snaps in half. That just shows you one of the best of all time, if not the best of all time. My idea is like him and Fador,

the two greatest fighters that have ever walked to face the planet. I give Anderson a nod. There's probably a lot of it because I experienced him live in person. Maybe if I experienced Fador in person, I would give him the nod, or maybe just call it a draw. you know, but even he couldn't stop from breaking bones by hitting the wrong things. Fador broke his hand a couple of times.

Anderson broke his leg. They all broke, everybody misses. You can't. So getting upset at somebody for kicking somebody in the nuts, they don't mean to kick him in the nuts for the most part, you know? I mean, I'm sure it's happened before, but most of the time it's an accident. I throw a leg kick and you move back three inches. It's that fucking easy.

Or he's throwing a kick at the same time you're throwing a kick. That's more likely. I just kick guys in the balls all the time accidentally because I was short. because those fighting guys who were tall and I was 5'8 and these guys were like 6-2 and we both kick at the same time I'd kick him right in the nuts accidentally just happen

just like if you're super aggressive you're not allowing someone like openings you just try to attack all the time there's a lot of collisions you know when you have collisions anything can happen like one guy kicks the same time you're kicking and whoever gets there first

whoever gets there first whoever gets past you know knees and shins and whoever sneaks it in there It's just unfortunate for Weidman Unfortunate for Musassi Unfortunate for the whole division I don't know if they will

Who knows There might be a reason why one of them Gets a shot at the title Musasi is a free agent Yeah See Musassi is One of the best fighters in the world But he's lost a few times

I mean guys have beaten him Jacques J'Kere manhandled him Pretty recently He submitted him He just got him on the ground And went through him He's a goddamn shark Jack Ray is a fucking shark man

He gets you on the ground Musassi he still has Oh yeah No don't get me wrong He still could turn this around You know he's dirty one Well you'reiah Hall knocked him out too No listen I'm saying

He's a bad motherfucker Do not get me wrong I'm not just diminishing his abilities I'm as big as fan I think Musassi's a cool customer He goes in there dead pan Doesn't give a fuck How many fights does he have

Anybody he said 50 professional fights This weekend was his 50th professional fight Yeah He was fucking like Cool as a cucumber. Super respectful. You know, he's very respectful of Chris Wyman, but said it like he felt it, you know.

He was like, look, he said about Wyman, he was gaming the system. He was trying to not get kneading the head. That's why he put his hands down there. He didn't put his hands down there to fight. He was trying to get out of it. And then when he got hit with the illegal knee, he acted like he couldn't go on.

He was hoping that they were going to stop the fight. That's Musassi's take on it. So the whole thing is, it's unfortunate. Very interesting. But Musassi's a bad motherfucker. You see how good a striker he is in that fight. You just realize, like, wow. Listen, he took him down, but he kept getting up.

And even in the scramble, when he mounted him, he fucking sluck out the back door. I was really impressed. He did his homework. So I thought it was all starting to come together from Miss Aussie. Like, I really thought... Well, see, the difference between Wyden, who's a really high-level submission artist. He's real high-level. I mean, he's a bad motherfucker, and his ground-and-pound is excellent.

He's just really world-class with his wrestling and his ground-and-pound. pound. And then there's another level of the matrix removed. And that's guys like Damien Maya. That's guys who just constrict. They get people like Carlos Condit and just constrict them. Well, they don't even have a chance.

Do you see Olivera versus Will. Oh my God. Will Brooks this weekend? Same shit. Same shit. I was saying before the fight, I was like, Olivera has a super technical ground game. Like he's gets submissions in all sorts of different ways. Calf sliders, rear naked chokes, guillotines. He gets you on the ground.

you're in a world of shit he's a bad motherfucker and the same way he submitted that guy with a standing rear naked he did that to effraine eskidero in his ufcdre d'n't you said that i was like where the fuck i don't know he had a few wins in the ufc he fought in mexico he had a win over there he's looking really good he was looking way more technical more relaxed and he's with um john crouch now with benson henderson down there in arizona a lot of real good fighters i didn't know ryan Went to the Bellator. Yep, he went to Bellator too. They threw some money out.

Yeah, and so did Lorenz Larkin. Lorenz Larkin is fighting Douglas Lima, who's the champion in Bellator. That's a big fight. It's a scary fight. They have a real division now. They have Lema. They have Koreshkov. Korshkov is a guy that fucked up Benson Henderson.

He's a bad motherfucker from Russia. And then you got Douglas Lima who just knocked out Koreshkov. It was a great fight, but Lima cracked him. And you got, I mean, if they were smart, they'd bring back Ben Askeran. Because the UFC doesn't want Ben Ascran The Bellator should take Ben Asking and bring him back Where is he now? He's over in one FC

And they're throwing all this money around Ben Asking could spank some fucking people His wrestling is so fucking good That he manhandled Lima Lima just couldn't do anything with him He's done it to a lot of guys He did a Khorish cop manhandled him They can't do anything to him

He just takes him down And holds him down and beats a shit out of him There's nothing they can do about it He's just so much better as a wrestler Than all those other guys That when he gets in there with him He almost like makes the fight boring for some people. But for me, it's fascinating.

Especially if you know how good these guys are. And you see Ascran just dragging them to the ground, left and right, and takes a shot too, man. Takes serious shots coming in. Takes knees to the chin, eats them like candy, grabs guys, dumps him on their ass, and holds them down there and punches them in the face. And it's very few guys have been able to stop them. In fact, I don't think anybody. I don't think he's J. Huron from the UFC. It was the only guy who gave him a tough fight because he's a good wrestler.

That was a real close fight. So the next card is May. For Bellator? No. The UFC. For the next big of Dallas. May 12th. Yeah.

But I was just saying that that division is Roy McDonald now. Right. Rory and somebody else, right? Who else? Roy McDonald, Lorenz Larkin, Douglas Lima. There's a serious division at 170 now. So that's good for everybody. That means these divisions, even outside the UFC, are stacking up.

And it could get to the point someday in the future where, you know, Belator's Viacom. You know, they could develop some huge superstar, some Connor McGregor. style superstar and there could be a big money fight with a superstar from the UFC and a superstar from that organization and an undeniable thing sort of like what's going on with McGregor what's going on with McGregor right now is McGregor is facing an undeniable like Floyd Mayweather is an undeniable force undeniable when it comes to financial advantage for being in business with him he's Floyd Mayweather he's one of the biggest pay-per-view if not the biggest pay-per-view seller in boxing history right So him versus Conner

There's so much money there Everybody will work together And that could conceivably happen Someday with Bellator And they're doing the right thing To get into that kind of a position You know, by having like really legit guys Like Lorenz Garin Larkin

Super underrated guy Lorenz Larkin's one of the most underrated guys In a sport And then Lima who's a fucking beast Roy McDonald was still one of the baddest motherfuckers On the planet He's super well-rounded He might school all those guys

He might school them all And you've got Paul Daley Paul Daly's over there Semtex, that motherfucker knocks people dead. He's just knocking people dead. He has the nastiest left hook in all of MMA.

Just cracks guys. And he's a left-handed guy, but he fights orthodox. So his left hand is his power hand, but it's his forward hand. He'll knock you out with either hand. Don't get it wrong. Like, his last fight, he knocked dude out with a flying knee. Really tough kid, too. Just, boom!

Hit him with the same kind of. of flying knee that you all romero hit wideman with just one of those with the guys out before he even goes to the ground and they bounce but paul daly does that to everybody he's terrifying they got that michael page two guy you ever see that that karate guy he's the guy that broke cyborg skull where cyborg his skull caved in and they literally put plates in it you see that that guy's over there too that's the same division so that's a division full of killers so one guy could rise to the point where and that's good for everybody that's good for the fighters everybody makes more money it's good for the ufc it's good for them i barely got enough time to watch the ufc all right

leave me along with bellator i don't know nothing about bell atollet though you got to watch every time i turn it on i go what am i watching i'm so spoiled with the ufc watching and the shoes and stuff did you see bellator kickboxing did you see that this weekend i had some friends in that it was nothing it's pretty badass man john wayne par was in there he's always fighting he's always beating somebody up smoking cigarettes he's the man no no no he doesn't smoke What's the guy that smoke cigarettes? Joe Schilling. Joe Schilling.

Yeah. That's the man of steel. He didn't fight this week? No, not this card. But he's fighting for Bellator kickboxing too. What do you got the rest of the week, Tarzan? Just hanging out, doing some sets, you know? Doing Trippley show on Wednesday.

Tripoli's got a show. The naughty show? I don't know. He's put together his own show. Wednesday in the main room. Callin's doing it. Shob's doing it. Brian's got a show, too.

I'm doing Brian's show over at a laugh factory. Hello. You're on every fucking. Have it some fun. How fun was Buffalo? It's a good time. Buffalo is always good. That late show was late, though, man.

11 o'clock at night is a late show for Buffalo on a Friday. I got to be honest with you. They were a lot better than what I thought. Oh, yeah, they were great. I saw people at 7 o'clock getting tuned up for the 11 o'clock show. I thought it was going to be hand-to-hand combat comedy, and I was prepared for it. I was like, it's going to be hand-to-hand comedy. And I got to tell you something, they were very well behaved.

Oh, they were great. I watched the half hour. You're set. They were very well behaved. Yeah, they were great. I was in shock for an 11 o'clock show. Well, you're going somewhere interesting now. Where are you going this weekend?

When are you going next? You're going somewhere next. I go to Oxnard. Oh, that's right. You're doing levity and oxnard. That's a new one. Have you done that place yet? The Oxnard place?

No, this is my first time. It's fucking great. I'm doing 420 weekend. Then I go to Milwaukee to see Duke Rufus. Oh, beautiful. And I fly the next day. of Michigan. Oxnard is like a road club, a really good road club.

Like they're super happy that someone's coming out there. Because for the longest time, they have to drive. You live, Oxnard, you live an hour and 10, hour and 20 outside the city. They had to drive into Hollywood to watch shows. So when a guy like you come to them, they're so happy to drive 10 minutes from their house. And the club's amazing. It's a big place too.

It's like 300 and something people, maybe even more, maybe 400. I told you, I was really impressed at Levy Live Night. very impressed very impressed yeah they're doing good shit the chef at levity live was the chef from oxnott he had just worked a weekend with you but they're hiring a new chef at levity live so he's out there training them oh i had a phenomenal time at that club it really opened up my eyes i was like jesus christ i forget up this this part of new york oh yeah this part of new york is fucking different you know it's uh it just i i missed that i missed that 9-14 attitude It's in Rockland County and you have a little aggressive.

You have a little aggressive. What's the other place that Westchester's close by? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I miss that. That's New Rochelle. New Rochelle people were there. Bronx people came. Yonkers.

Very yonkers. Very, yeah, yonkers people there. Very fucking tremendous, my friend. I'm happy you fucking made time for me, dog. Oh, I'm happy to do it. I love you. I'm happy you came down here on Monday night, fucking around, talking about different shit.

I love this place. I haven't been. in here. I love how you got it set up. Lee Syatt, look at him. He's got 2200 milligrams of death tonight. Did you? That's what's going on. Look at this shape, man. Did you put all these lights in? No. Kevin, our friend from, what's

the name of the company? Afterbus. After Buzz. Oh, he does it professionally? He could do it in two fucking minutes. He's a lighting guy, like a TV. Yeah, he just had a funny feeling about lights and stuff like that. That's badass. Just to give a little. It's awesome. You guys have a cool spot. I love it. I love

I love podcasts and I like the way the studio looks and stuff like that. But it was always like I always wanted this to be something that you listened to. And like it felt illegal that you were lessened to it. This does feel legal. I don't want to, I never wanted it to be polished. Like I wanted it to be like, ooh, yeah. Like they had a sit by that thing. Come on it.

It's like listening to Led Zeppelin in Cuba. Yeah. You got to listen to it under the stairs. You know, it's fucking crazy. Can you imagine that? Do you ever listen to Doug's? Doug's what? Stanhope.

Stanhope? Stanhope's podcast? No. I didn't know he has. It starts mid-sentence. It's like he's in the middle of like, nah fucking, there's got to be a,

is it on? Is this fucking thing on? It's on? You know, and he just, you know, he's at a bar. He's got this place in his house.

He's always set up, I think, right? Well, he's got a place in his house. Like, it's called the fun house. It's got like a bar, and it's all painted weird colors and shit. And they do the podcast live from there.

And everybody's drunk and chiming in. And it's hilarious. And it's, you know, it's just Doug kind of holding court. And the beautiful thing about it for him, he says, is that he doesn't have to go to open mic nights. He's like, he can just do that. And when he does that from there, like he's riffing and ranting all the time. And that's allowing him to develop material. He gets ideas and works on them, and they allow him to riff and rant.

He puts it on once a week? I think he does it whenever the fuck he wants. He's done like series of them where it was like three or four in a day. Like he did like four or five in a day once. They were all 10 minutes long. We'll be right back. You know, there's an episode of fucking, what is it, 11? What is it, 11?

This is such a character. I mean, he's, he's the real deal. You know, there's a lot of people that, like, pretend to be that kind of a guy. Oh, there's a ton of them in Hollywood. They want to be Stanhope, but he's no. He lives seven miles from Mexico. Is bingo good? She's better.

Yeah, she's better. Are they together? Yeah, he's helping her. She's going through. She fell and hit her head. And apparently, uh, I would, I would have to get the full rundown from him what the exact

medical condition was, but I know she was in a coma for a while. I took her a while to come out of it. It's a super scary shit, man. Someone falling down a flight stairs and hitting their head is super bad. But apparently she's talking now, her sense of humor's back, so she's recovering.

She has seizures. I don't know. Some type of seizures. I don't know. There's a cave for sale in Doug's community, fucking cave out in the desert. Have you seen it? No.

Yeah, it's like it's a famous cave. Doug was talking about like buying the cave. Like a bunch of people. He bought like five houses in the neighborhood. He owns half the city. He owns half the city. Whatever houses go up for sale. He winds up buying him.

He could one, like no bullshit that one day could be dug town. Like it really could. Like Clint would hang him high. All you'd have to do. When he painted the town red and locked it up, he could be the mayor. have his own bar. Isn't he the king of the town now?

He got his fans to make it the number one small city in America or something? Like the number one rustic town in America. Well, it was really cool even before that. Like, before that people did enjoy that town. It's an artist community. It always had a good reputation. That's why he moved there in the first place. But what I'm saying is like if he really wanted,

if someone, a real estate agent came in and the real estate agent was like, look, we're going to turn this to the Dugtown. We're going to offer you a lot of money for your house. how much is your house worth and the guy's like why like you know 150,000 or whatever how much the house has cost and he would uh they would find someone from somewhere that wants to relocate to to bisbee and uh they have enough money to buy a house and so they go I want to move to Dougtown I've heard there's minimum rules bars were open 24 hours a day and uh you get to meet Doug stanhope and then people just start moving in if you have a big world right 350 million people in this country

You're telling me you couldn't find 30,000 people that want to live with Doug Stanhope. Oh, please. A heartbeat. A heartbeat. So you just get this real estate agent to start fucking putting deals together. Dougland. People start buying houses. Like Copland.

Yeah. Well, the houses is just Doug land. And there'd probably be a few scalpers who buy houses. They pretend, oh, I'm a huge fan of Doug. Doug's been amazing from the beginning. And then they buy the house, try to spike it up and sell it for even more. There'd be a lot of that, for sure. But you really could do that.

Like, he is one of the few guys that could really could legitimately, start a cult and I would think about going. I would go oh I can't do that. I'd go down there with Weissland. That's what I'd fucking do. And look at those lunatics. Bring David Cho and go down there. Fuck. He's having fun though.

Has he ever had an incident from giving his address out? The note just gives it out. He doesn't do that anymore. Not anymore, okay. But it's still out there. Yeah, people found that way down there. Too many people just started showing up at the Super Bowl parties and shit. I try to tell him. I'm like, don't do that.

Yeah. He thought it was cute. You don't want people showing up in your fucking house, especially Doug. No, no, no, no. But Doug really likes chaos. He enjoys those chaotic situations. He really does.

When I lived with Doug, he had a bunk bed. I lived on the bottom. Big Ron lived on the top. I had to stay with Doug for like six weeks. It was fucking craziness. He doesn't eat. He just drinks coffee and smoke cigarettes. Every month he's quitting.

He's been quitting. cigarettes for how long now? Yeah, he's not going to quit. You know, he don't give a fuck. Well, he does give a fuck, but he doesn't want to... He's quit for a few times. He has quit a few times. But he just gets back to it.

It's a weird one, man. You were caught by that grip. Yeah, but you could get off it once you... It's tough, but once you get off. But it's funny how he never really gave his shit. Like, he picked up, left. He shows up with a guy that's a manager. He met him at a sports lounge.

Tupelo, Mississippi. You know what I'm saying? He had like big time management, and that's done. He does all his bookings himself. He looked up with this lunatic that got him the DVD, the CD. What's his name? You know, Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's his fucking buddy. You know, Johnny Depp. Doug really is, like, in the air of Lenny Bruce. Like, Doug is just crazy. He's out there. You know. He's legit. He's legit.

That's the way it is. that's the way it is well i was watching this special when it first came out i'm sitting there going how many years do i know this guy and he stuck to the script like yeah this was not if anything he got fucking crazier if anything he went deeper yeah like i've known him since 91 he was a good looking dude with a haircut i got a picture of him yeah and then he fucking uh went on the the evening at the improv and then he started headlining then he won san francisco and he was buck wild. He was just destroying Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, that's him. They would put him up at the store at fucking

Doug Stanhope with a mullet. He's in a pool up to his chest. That's in Vegas. With a glass of wine. I didn't even notice a pool. Some sort of a drink. That's a fucking Vegas. I'm going to put this, I'll put this on Instagram later. I keep this close and dear to my heart. Where did you take that picture? Somebody said it to you. No, it was on the wall, the store.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, they have it at the store. It's like one of those super old headshots that they've stowed away there. That was his headshot? I still remember that picture. That was his headshot. I still remember that picture at the broker.

That was it. That was probably Doug when he was 20 years old. Headlining tonight. All those triple runs. Well, he probably wasn't even headlining back then. No, he wasn't headlining back then. Well, I met him he was featured at the triple run. Everybody had to try some wacky thing when you were taking your photo, try to stand out, you know.

I had an egg cream. My first head shot had an high cream with my hand. Some guy took it behind the fucking Abo's pizza in Boulder. Some dude kept telling me, I'm a photographer. Let me take your head shot. I go, well, hurry up. He goes, well, what do you want? I don't know, I'm drinking this.

And he just took pictures. And that was my first head shirt. Did he have you take one with a mustache? No, no. No, no. What are you retarded? What I'm with a kid from fucking Hershey's? He just said, stand behind the light.

He took two pictures, and that was my headshot. Wow. What was your headshot? Your first head chef. Jeff T. took it. In Boston. Jeff T.

The stand-up comedian who wound up marrying that chick that's on the view. What's her name? The one who's really religious? The black girl on the view. God damn it. Sherry Sheppard.

Sherry She was always at the store. You remember Sherry Shepherd from the store? Before she was on the View, she was a comic. She was always hanging at the store. She always had a clean set. Always like very clean. Very nice.

Sherry Sheppard is very nice. So who married is now? My friend Jeff T from Boston. Really? Yeah. That's who's made. I think they got divorced. But they were married way back

in the Disney. But Jeff was an amateur photographer, and Jeff he took my first headshot. So stupid looking, me with a leather jacket on, looking like an asshole. I took another one afterwards with me looking like an asshole. I've taken several headshots. Dushy when I was like 22.

You don't want to find those things. It's so bad. They're so bad. I had like a tank top on with like a leather motorcycle jacket and I was looking sultry. She just went to war with her ex-husband over a kid. She had the eggs. Probably Jeff. And he gave her the eggs and he bought the eggs.

Well, it's her eggs. Maybe the embryos. He was going to adopt the baby. He was going to adopt the baby. I don't know if that's Jeff. Maybe that's a second. Those movie stars are fucking crazy. Those viewbages, they're fucking.

Everybody's crazy, Joey. Isn't everybody crazy? Not like that. But everybody's a little crazy. Oh, please. We're all crazy. I still hear voices. But I, I'm fucking maintained, brother.

The craziness is what God is here. Yeah. Nobody's saying would do this. Nobody. People would back out of this after five months and go to my fucking crazy. We should do a tour. Like a real tour. Figure out, like, who's going to be on it.

Do like four of us. Ari, I'm sure, is on his own thing right now. He's probably on... Ari, he's probably... I bet you can barely talk to him right now. He's probably learning new languages and shit. Rory's that dude that got caught with hash in that movie Midnight Express. He's somewhere talking about Eric...

He jerks off on his wife's tits when she comes to visit him. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, at the end. But no, he's somewhere learning a culture and enjoying himself. Enjoying himself. But putting together something like that, maybe Seguer wants to hop in, maybe you, me, maybe Hinchcliff. Just figure it. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, it was just a bunch of people in it. Yeah. And just have some fun. Because, like, one of the things that I was thinking when we're doing those shows in Buffalo is, like, how much fun we're having. hanging out doing these just amazing shows they're so fun you know like whenever we're at the store

and we're hanging out doing these shows I'm like this is these are amazing nights they're so it's so enjoyable and it jazes me up like it gets me pumped up about comedy you know it gets me excited to do more of it not that I'm never I'm always excited about it but even more so you know

you think it would happen with like Kings of Comedy or the blue collar comedy tour or any of those things things. Those, those groups of guys that get together and put together a show. They're doing it now still. Who's doing it? Eddie Griffin, George Lopez.

The Black and Brown for, right? G.L. Hoogley. Who else? Felipe's on the tour right now. That tour? I'm not a different one with, uh... Oh, he's with Eddie Epps and those guys. No, he's with...

Mike Epps, right? He's got a fucking kangaroo. Yeah, he got Mike Epps. She had trouble with the kangaroo. You see that? Yeah, Mike Epps had a kangaroo on stage. I don't know what was going on. He had a kangaroo at the station That's a

That is such That is such a funny thing You remember Mike Eppson Tommy Ward Thomas Ward? Remember somebody Was that war with Mike Epson They punched him in the face at the store And then he called him somewhere

And knocked him out somewhere Mike Ebb's been in war with a couple guys He got in war with Kat Williams He got in war with Kevin Hart Kevin Hart was the most hilarious He got to bring your ticket sales up You want to go to go to

What with me? You gotta bring your ticket sales off. I know you want to compare yourself to me? You're doing some small colleges. You're doing some clubs, a little small theater. It's like, you bring your ticket sales up. The way he does it, it's like, so ruthless because you can't say anything. I mean, he's, Kevin Hart is so energetic. Like, in the way he, like, if he's attacking you, it's most likely because you

already attacked him. It's like, this has a comeback that he couldn't address him. So you got to bring your ticket sales up first. That's such a black comedian thing, too. Like, if a white comedian talks like that, You get crucified, you know? We were talking about this. What the fuck happened to Cat Williams?

He's got a special that's coming out. Really? Yeah. In 2017, I saw it the other day right after we talked to him. I don't know. He looks like he gained some weight. Dude. Cat Williams today has some of my favorite specials ever.

Me too. Me too. Part one was amazing. Part one was amazing. The Michael Jackson thing was amazing. There was a couple things that were really fucking amazing. I still remember doing his room up here for $50

bro. You did his room? Yeah, right here. 10 years ago, he came up to me to the store when he was cat in the hat. Oh, that's right. He was cat in the hat for a while. Remember we used to hang Sunday nights?

And one night he came up to me, man, that was funny shit. Can you do my room right here? It's still there. It's still like a jazz club right before Jerry's Deli. If you hit Jerry's Deli in Studio City, you went too far.

It's a block before all that shit. shit starts. It's still there. Wow. I did it twice. Once with him and once with somebody else. And it was like 10 people. He gave me 40 bucks. Here you go, dog. I was happy as fuck.

And then 10 years later, he shows up as Cat Williams. Fucking killing, motherfuckers. He did that special. Didn't he bring a lion on stage? Didn't he have a lion in a cage? I want to say, he had a wardrobe change in the middle of his special. In the middle of a special. He was sweating so much.

Because he's, you know, he's always yelling and screaming and jumping around on stage. He was setting so much. He took his fucking clothes off. He went backstage and changed his clothes. I'm pretty sure he had a lion. I'm pretty sure. He had a lion. Does Cat Williams have a lion on stage? See if you can find that. I'm trying to find, uh, I don't think so. That's the way to do it, though. Maybe. Why do I feel like he had a lion? I feel like he had a lion on stage. A lion or a tiger? There's a fucking difference The lion, the tiger, one of them Find it. Cat Williams had a lion on stage.

Google that. You got it? No, I don't think so. Here, I googled it in two minutes. You have it? Hilarious, priceless, special debut. Cat Williams stomped and jumped in the head at Philly concert.

He's done some shit, but I don't see lion. He took some beatings, dog. He got into fights. places. He's getting sued. That one show fucking whatever, Live Nation. He killed Live Nation, Live Nation, and he gave all the money back at the Sacramento.

Yeah, what happened? He did a show and then didn't do stand-up, right? Yelded some people and then got offstage? He did something. He was going through a fucking ton of shit, you know? I laugh at those stories. Like they say that. What's the girl's name? Killing Me's? The Fugis?

Did I really? Yeah, Lauren Hill. Lauren Hill gets the concerts. Three hours late. Like, can you imagine getting to a concert at 7.30? The show's supposed to start at 8, and she don't go on until 10.30. Are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking crazy? That's when you're just crazy.

Well, she wasn't paying taxes. They put her in the pokey. That's one of the things they do with taxes that they don't do with anything else. They put you in jail. Like, if you owe money, like, say if you owe, like, for a car that you didn't pay, well, you know, they get a lien on your funds and they wind up with you in jail. But if you owe the government money

and you just don't pay taxes, they put you in a cage. And they don't fuck around. They even put blade in a cage. They put them in a cage for a few years. They don't go, they don't fuck around. It doesn't discriminate, bro. You all want, look at they're going to saw your boy to school.

They're going to send him for fucking 10 years. Who? The kid from the Jersey Shore. Who? Who's that? the situation. Oh, they're putting him in jail? Oh, yeah. For what?

He's got two charges. For taxes? Oh, yeah. He's got, type it up. Oh, no, yeah. I think one was taxes and one was like a pay roll. Like, he fucked up. Like, what was the other one?

Taxes or what? I thought it was payroll, but let me check. Are you high enough that you could actually type? I mean, are you like sober? I don't even know how you can see. I have no idea. He's a soldier. He's a soldier.

He's a soldier. I mean, while he's typing him, like, there's no way that guy can see that screen. He's a soldier at that. He's, bro, we got him trains just in case ISIS takes over with THC. His levels are high and he can make it. What do you got there? Put it up on the screen, you know? Okay, well, it's too high.

I can do it. I didn't know you wanted to read about the Jersey Shore. No, I want you to fucking read. I want you to read it to me. Jersey Shore star Mike, the Situation Sorrentino hit with serious new tax charges. Oh, boy. 8.9 million? Oh, my God.

He dodged taxes from 2010 to 2012 on $8.9 million in income from promotional events. He evaded payment by filing false returns and by claiming millions in business expenses, including pricey cars and personal grooming, according to the first indictment. New Charters accused the situation of structuring funds to evade currency transaction reports, according to a statement from the U.S. Attorney's Office. In New Jersey, his brother is charged with falsifying records to obstruct. a grand jury investigation. If convicted on all charges, the brothers could face

29... Oh my God. 20 years in prison. Oh, my God. Wow, he's going away. Yeah. Tried to do some neighborhood shit. They tried to go old school with their taxes. Yeah, see, he won the...

At one point, he made several cash deposits on the same day and several banks in the amount of less than $10,000 to allegedly evade the bank. IRS reporting requirements. The brothers are scheduled to be arraigned April 17th. Now, they don't owe $8.9 million. No, on $8.9 million worth $3 million close to. $3 million.

Well, depending on what his bracket is, if that's his bracket and he doesn't have any deductions, if they don't accept his deductions, wouldn't it be more than that? I don't know how that works. No, I think it's $3 million and then deductions to make it a little. The gross receipts Claim fraudulent business deductions

See Once they catch you doing the fuck Like let's say some people just go listen I didn't know Yeah I didn't know I'll tell you what you don't know You gotta what are you got in the bank

I got about 600,000 okay That goes to us I get the three years probation That's how this sentence okay No no no no you go to jail If you pay it back If you pay it back I had a friend that

No no no no no Blade tried to pay it back. They're like, you're going to jail. But there's a... Well, how much did Blade take? He didn't pay taxes. He didn't pay taxes. He hooked up with one of those wacky constitution dudes

that was like... It says here on page 17. Paragraph 3. Thou shalt not... You know, I mean, they have these crazy, like, tax laws. Like, when you look at the tax code, and you go, what is legal? What's not legal?

And what's the interpret? It doesn't matter. If everybody else is paying taxes, you have to pay taxes. Just because, like, it's not written correctly somewhere, like in some way you think that you could evade this on a technicality. They showed him what they wanted to show. They showed him by putting him in jail. They wanted to send a message that if you do this, even if you're famous, will lock you in a cage. That's what they do. It's a harsh, harsh business.

They, this is hard to read because this is when they see, when they know you're trying to fuck with them, that's when you're. you get their fucking, that's when you get their attention. And a lot of money, $9 million. Like I said, like I said, what's that expression? Ignorance is bliss. Yeah. If you say you're stupid, that's one thing.

But if they catch you trying to be tricky, that's when they fucking fine you. Because there comes a fine too, restitution. Yeah. The probation ain't over till you pay. You do know that, right? Well, these guys, I think they're slick. Like, this is like a, all you have to do,

you make several cash deposits on the same day and several bank accounts. As long as they're under $10,000, the IRS does no shit. Are you sure, Mikey? You sure we could do this? This is what we do. We're not going to fucking pay them. We're going to fucking pay them all this money? You want to give a million dollars away? You want to take a chance?

Huh, man. 20 years? Dude. Do you imagine what that must feel like? Well, he's not going to get 20. He'll probably get like fucking 10. And he'll have to do three. And then you have to eat or ride horses because he's not a criminal. They take you

You know the lawn park, you write horses, you learn how to shoot bow and arrows. You draw pictures. Everybody winds up going to jail, too, man. Like those people from Jersey housewives, housewives of New Jersey. The guy and the girl, the husband, I think he went away, the girl went away first, and then the husband goes away second, something like that. They each got to do a year. So I have to stay with the kid.

Yeah, and it's the same thing. It's a tax thing. I couldn't think about that now right now. Taxes are scary. That's the first thing I fucking do. I don't play with these people. I go away with murder for years. They sent me a wrong amount one time.

I cashed it. I don't know nothing. It was too long ago. Forgive and forget. They only go back seven years. Well, now that you talked about it, you definitely gonna get away with it. Yeah, it was $200.

What did I give a fuck? I was supposed to get $59. No, I'll tell you what it was. They sent me two tax returns. The same check, like they fucked up. Yeah? The computer had fucked up. So they sent the check on Saturday and one on Monday.

the same exact check. I cashed them both. I took my chance. Columbus did. It's fucking business law. If something lands in your mailbox is yours. Nine-tenth of possession, this is fucking yours. I love you, brother.

Thank you very much. We're coming on. We're having a lot of fun. I love the fact that people love this podcast. Your podcast is huge. We have a good time. People bring it up to me all the time. We talk.

We just talk normal here. There's no fucking drama. I'll give the shout-outs later and all that shit. Levy Live, 420, and 427. I'll be at the 10. Bloor Brewing Company in Bakersfield. I'm going to go up there and spend the day with Matt Baker

and learn how to choke people correctly from the fat man's side control. He taught me. Then I got Utah and then I'm in Milwaukee. Are you doing wise guys? Fuck yeah. Yeah, I'm doing wise guys. I'm doing wise guys in July.

I'll be there May 5th and 6th. Very nice. You land on Friday morning. I love that club. I love it. I love that city. I love the whole day. Salt Lake City is one of the most underrated cities in the country.

People have a weird assessment of it, but they're real nice people. The fucking shows are fun, and not everybody's a Mormon. No. There's a lot of non-Mormans. There's a good weed. There's a part of the, the best olive garden in the country. The busiest olive garden in the country is in Salt Lake City. They walk in there, they think it's fucking Spark Steakhouse.

I'm a big fan of Utah people. I like Utah. I like those people. You ski up there sometimes. I've never been up there to ski. You know what, though? Aspen, to me, you can't. I can't fuck with it. You know why? Because the way it looks. Like when you look, Aspen is so fucking beautiful. When you're up there, you're like, like, how can it, like, if you went to Park City or, yeah, that's where it is, right, where they ski. Park City. You look around there, gorgeous, right? Beautiful. I mean, it's amazing looking. But Aspen, somehow another top set. It takes it to another level. Where you look, you look at Aspen, you go, I don't believe it. It's got more beautiful. It's just one notch more wooded, one notch more rivers and streams.

one notch more beautiful. Like those mountain towns, man, that's what's up. Like, that's living, man. Those super rich dudes that figured out a way to move to Aspen and they're up there with the range rovers.

Every other fucking cars up there's a range rover. The cops still have, the cops still have sobs. I don't know. That's funny. Did that? Aspen, they used to. Aspen's snowmast.

They should have Subaru's. It's a different way of living. If I could figure out how to live there, I would try to figure. Do you think you could just one day just go out of there and do the podcast. Just do the podcast, live in...

Because I know you talk about going to Colorado. I talk about going a lot of places. I just don't know what I would do. I would happily teach me I'd do the podcast and I would zero in from a cabin. You know where you would really have to consider it? We would all have to consider it. If L.A. gets hit with a quake.

Some real shit goes down in L.A. You really have to take any consideration that we're just pretending that that can't happen. Listen, man, I told you what my fear was in L. I'm not worried about a fucking earthquake no more. We became a sanctuary state. That means if something happens, we're getting zero fucking funding.

That means if there is a fucking major earthquake, instead of taking two days for supplies to get here and help from the federal government, or take 10 days, maybe. Well, when did we become a sanctuary state? Last week. Why? Because that's the way life is.

That's the way life works itself out. And that's been starting to scare me a little bit. How did that distinction change? Because they hold back federal funding they fuck around with your paper Well they're threatening to do that I don't think Because they're saying if they have people

You've got a Google machine right in front of you son Why fuck around? Find out what this? I don't think it's a threat in that they were I think they'll retaliate at some fucking level I go down to Hollywood And I see the weed stores And I could see fucking Trump

Coming in here and shutting down 10 of them on sunset strip You know they're getting too fucking lacks So now we just legalize marijuana and now you want to become a sanctuary state. You know what's interesting? There's a story today on one of the news sites about how many

pot arrests they have in Washington, D.C. Even though marijuana is legal now in Washington, D.C., they still arrest people for pot, and it's primarily African Americans. Oh, please. Primarily black dudes getting arrested for weed in a place where weeds legal.

They do what they want, Your Honor. Always remember. It's a federal fucking law. We're just living on rented borrowed time. I appreciate that courage. I appreciate that they're trying to do a fucking thing. But when I went to Hollywood a month ago, and I got stuck in Hollywood I was driving on Santa Monica,

what I saw on LaBrea and the fucking billboards, I was like, hmm. Wow. Listen, I don't mind you're a gangster. Just don't remind me. I don't mind if you're a gangster. Just don't remind me.

Keep it small. There's one that you pull up to have the last. by target on LeBre that you look at and go looks like a fucking amusement store my friend looks like somebody sank 20 million into it so I know that the investments are high but I don't think they covered themselves before they dotted the

T's and that's what scares me that that's the only way Trump could that's one of the ways he could really fuck with us if we become a sanctuary state Colorado Colorado ain't becoming no sanctuary I don't know if that's sanctuary state But Colorado got their weed game so tight They could send fucking the DEA in there

And you can't fuck with Colorado Colorado would come up with You know all these states that where you go now They have a whole floor now to marijuana It was just one attorney You know what I'm saying? Like if your attorney office has seven floors They had one office about marijuana

Now they have two floors The thing is it's still a federal issue It's a federal issue And that's why I don't like what I see Yeah well you got a good Good point I mean that Jeff Sessions guy that they have now, he's scary in a lot of ways. Like, he's publicly said that good people don't

smoke marijuana. Maybe he believes that. He might believe that. But maybe he's been influenced by companies that would benefit from keeping marijuana illegal or reversing the trend. That's possible, too. You know, there's a lot of people that think that there's medical, pharmaceutical companies, rather, that stand to lose millions and millions of dollars from this. That they absolutely will, maybe even billions. They already proved it that all the states that have legalized marijuana, opioid emergency room visits a dam. Colorado is a sanctuary state. And what they're saying is, I mean, obviously he could probably make things difficult.

But what about California? Legally, California is. But you said Colorado. Did you mean California? No, I meant California. Well, I meant Colorado. We knew California was. Joey asked if Colorado was.

So California definitely is? Yes. So that, and that's last week, it changed over? Yeah. And, I mean, it's fucked up. But, yeah. I mean, they can fuck it. They can fuck with you.

They can fuck with you, dog. Well, here's the thing. Here's how you mitigate that, right? Like, how much funds are we talking about? And would there be a way to make a fund to make up for it? If it's because of marijuana, you could tax marijuana 39%. Nobody gives a fuck. It's still cheap.

You could do it. And if you do that, you know how much money the state generates? And that probably takes. care of emergency services. Like if you've, if you thought about 24-7 marijuana sales in California and 24-7 taxes coming in and high taxes, no one would care, and you just take all that money, because that's all they have in Colorado, like medical, it's one percentage, but then if it's recreational, I think it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 40% or 39% or something like that. You could do that, and then that would be hundreds of millions of dollars, and that's

the money you use to take care of yourself. if some shit goes down. You're probably more than you're going to get from the federal government anyway. Well, and then the last year, this is what I heard, that they had tax returns for, like, weed.

Like, they made so much money that some people got tax returns or all the residents. I don't know how. Yeah, they made so much money and taxes that people got checks. Checks. They had to give it back.

And, like, you were just saying, could there be a fund? Maryland just voted that if Planned Parenthood gets defunded, they'll fund Planned Parenthood. Yeah, well, there you go. Yeah, I mean, if you get enough people that can generate enough money from something that's easy, like growing marijuana, not easy, but it can be done. It's not like making cell phones over in China.

You don't need a factory with nets around it to keep people from jumping off the roof if you want to grow a pot. It's not that hard. And if you did that and you just had, listen, everybody's going to make a shitload of money anyway. It's like it's not about having $100 million. It's about not being broke. You're not making plenty of money. So you make plenty of money and you live in an amazing community where everything gets taken care of. School gets taken care of.

Teachers get paid more money. Doctors get paid. Everybody gets paid. And there's plenty of money. Why? Because you let people grow a plant. And nobody's dying of overdoses. The overdose deaths drop drastically.

Dropping. All these people with health issues that are worried about it, CBD oils, all that stuff's easy to get, hemp oil. You deal with a lot of people alleviating pain and disease and you make a shit low. of money. It's a win-win. It's just not a win-win for the pharmaceutical companies. So when a guy comes in and he's saying that this is something we need to target, you've got to go, well, why? It's not logical.

If you look at the issues that people are developing from pain pill addiction, you look at how many people have overdosed just on that fentanyl stuff, that's the stuff that killed that's the stuff that killed Michael Jackson. No, Prince. Michael Jackson, we were talking about that.

What's the fuck? Fentone. It's a super potent opiate. super potent, like many, many times stronger than oxy cottons. So it's really easy to overdose. There's an MMA fighter, Josh Saman. He overdosed from it too. Apparently I heard. I don't know if that was it.

I'm pretty sure that was it. That's what I kind of shit has said that because I'm not exactly sure. But somebody told me that. And then I think there's been quite a few deaths from that stuff. A fentanyl stuff is very scary. And so there's that. That's legal. You don't see this guy chasing that down saying, hey, folks, there's an herbal remedy.

It's called edible marijuana. It's probably as effective as anything you're talking about. And it doesn't kill a goddamn single person. And you can grow it yourself. You know, you can make your own. And communities can make their own. I mean, it wouldn't be hard at all to make it dirt cheap. It's a weed, for Christ's sake.

It's super hardy. You don't need very many pesticides. What you need? You need fertilizer and light. Good soil. Good soil and water. and you have one of the most profitable plants known demand. You have the gold crop.

And so the boundary to entry is not that difficult. It's not that difficult to get in the game. You know what I'm talking about, Lisa? I was wondering if they had medical marijuana or recreational in Aspen and like in nicer communities. They have it in surrounding communities. I saw it in Colorado. It was funny.

We were driving to this place to go race. Not jet skis, snowmobiles. Snowmobile racing with the kids. Fucking hilarious. It's so fun. They have a track. Yeah, please. And they take you out,

and they take you on a tour through the mountains, and you come back and you race snowmobiles. It's fun, man. We had a good time. As long as you don't get silly, you don't wipe out. And if you do, you wipe it out in fluffy snow anyway. But we pass this place,

and this really nice, like, small town. Like, pretty nice houses, and apparently, like, wealthy people have their estates out there. And there's a weed stop. Just big, big old fucking weed stop. Just come on in, buy some weed. You just got a show with driver's license. My mom bought weed in Boulder.

This last time? Yeah, yeah. My stepdad had to stay in the car because he didn't bring his driver's license. Wouldn't let him in. Is that the first time you- Or wasn't the opposite? Maybe he got it, and my mom didn't ever license. They wouldn't let her in.

Was that the first time your mom bought weed? She just went through. I think so. Yeah, the first time she's ever bought it from, like, a place like that. How cool was that? To walk in the store. For that. It freaks me.

Yeah, I can't imagine. Well, they were hippies in 1970s. Like, they had never dreamed of that. They were like, it's not going to happen. We gave up on that shit 20 years ago. Nobody understood it. They were like, why? Like, how is it still illegal?

I mean, think about it. It was illegal, Joey, in 1970, right? So when I was three, it was illegal. It became legal when I was 49. Who would have thought that? With all the evidence, not a single person died in all that time. Not a single person died of an overdose. I mean, people probably did stupid shit when they were high.

But people do stupid shit. I never thought I would walk into a store by marijuana. How about getting it delivered? How about speed weed? How about places like that? Talk to people. They show up with weed. What do you need?

I don't like a deliver to my house. You don't have to go to the house. I get it delivered to the store. What store? Comedy store. Oh, no, no. I know, but no. Or meet him at El Compadres.

I like the experience of going in there and see. the weed I'm about to get. I want a professional. No, no, I don't want no games. I don't like surprises. I'm not much for surprise parties. I know what I want. I got to see the person who's selling it to me.

You have a connection with them? Where I go, Perennial, I know two of the girls. There's one girl from St. Louis that knows I want to smoke. There's a chick from a Chinese girl that knows what I smoke. And at the place over here, there's a little girl that looks like she's a little old She really does, like she's a runaway. Bug dog. When she sees me walking in there, she knows exactly what I want.

And they have bud tenders and you tip them, right? Yeah. You have like a tip jar. You throw some money in there? Yeah, any young girls. I always put fucking a 10 or 20 and the great girls, man. You know, when they get like 10 bucks and now, when they chop up the tips. Now, when you go in now, do you go and you just have to present your driver's license?

Yeah. You don't have to have a license for marijuana? No, I still got my life. I still got my license. They haven't straightened it out yet. That's why we're behind. Don't, don't. That's why people really don't know what's going on.

No, no. They're not going to get that shit together to 2-18. So anything can happen. It's like Wednesdays on the Mickey Mouse Club, dog. Anything could happen day. Oh, you remember Angel Heart. You must have saw Angel Heart recently. Did you see it?

Yeah. After I said it. Yeah, I knew. Well, I remember that line from the movie. That's Wednesday. It's Wednesday. It can happen day. What are you saying, Elaine?

Um, fuck. Jesus Lee. Yeah, no, he's funny. Before saying the future is audio. That's when I knew he was done. He was gone. He was gone. He was gone.

I believe that. When people are watching things, they're playing on their phone. Like, who the fucking hang out with a bunch of ADD people? They're going to do this? I'm like, oh, this guy. Why is he doing this to me? I could have sworn Kat Williams had a fucking lying on stage. No.

I can't believe. That might have been a really good dream. Yeah, must have been. God, I was, that was one of the, the ones I was, I was convinced. Cat Williams Tiger on stage. Let's try that. T-I-G-E-R.

The audio in the future. Are you fucking crazy? Yeah, that's so ridiculous. But you made a good point, though. No, he did. I get it too. I always thought, too. I always thought that I like the idea of the podcast

because it reminded me of being young and listening to albums that were dirty. And I had to hide them. I had to listen to them on the, on the slide. That's why I really was curious with the podcast. Because I want Americans to listen again. Yeah.

I really believe in listening. We don't listen. We do not fucking listen, you know? Well, there's definitely more people listening to conversations like this, like these long conversations like you do on your podcast and Duncan does on his and I do. And a lot of other people do these like now. There's more people doing this now than I just don't think any. Everybody's ever had anything like this this often before that's so raw.

You know, you have Howard Stern, of course, but there was always, we'll be right back, we'll cut into commercial, and he's always arguing with the network about this, and, you know, the FCC fined them. I mean, he broke down all the doors. Like, if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for him, and, you know, he got sued, dude. The government sued him for just talking about certain shit, certain subject matter. But it's still that you had to have a radio station You had to have a business You had to be the the main guy Competing in the business today

Anybody listening to this Anybody listen to this can start a podcast And if they do it for long enough And they work at it hard enough And if it's good enough And two people tell two people Tell two people And then everybody knows about it

And it literally by word of mouth There's a lot of people And people say Oh, that's easy for you say. You're fucking already established. That is the voice of doom and doubt creeping in your fucking head. You got to listen. There's people today that can come up with the podcast and it can still hit.

Look at those two guys we fucked. You know those girls? You know, they have that podcast. Guys we fucked? Podcast is killing it. It's always top 10. Always. They're killing it.

They sold out the main room at the store like that. Those aren't famous girls. They probably are now. But the girls who invented that show, They were just a couple of female comedians wanted to put together a podcast. They came up with a funny name for it and it became huge. Anybody could do that. That's totally doable now, especially with iTunes.

Has a very reasonable and generous algorithm, like the algorithm that they use to rank your show. Like if your show, your show's been around for years, right? And you get a shitload of downloads. If some new person comes along, they can have a fraction of the downloads that you do. But they'll be right next to you in the rankings. because it's new. So they get an allotment for new shows. So it keeps the top 10 and top 20 and top 50,

whatever, fresh. You get new shows coming in all the time. And when you have stuff like that, like it makes it possible. It's possible. All it has to do is like, you know, you have someone on, say if you had Ian and Ian has a new podcast

and you tell everybody, check out Ian Edwards' podcast. You know, it's called a da-da-da. And then people listen to this go, that guy was great. Let me check it out. And then they go, I mean,

that's what we've done. Yeah, that's what we've done. How did we do that? I mean, all of us have hit podcasts, and we all just did it together. I see the people who deviate and start other podcasts and think they want to join this product. I step with this. This is what I wanted to do from day one.

I already had a plan, and I stuck with it. Yeah, but your studio, you need to listen. I want people to listen. I'm sick and fucking tired of people not fucking listening. I grew up where you had to fucking listen. People until they don't fucking listen. I get it with the fucking text messages and with the bullshit. You don't listen.

I told somebody at the store, don't text me. The first thing he did was text me. They don't listen. You know, and I was raised with the fucking old interview sheets. Remember when you apply for a job in the 70s? It said five lines. Your name, Adjust, then there was a box. And it said, don't answer the fucking questions unless there's a check in that fucking box.

And my friend was at a sandwich place from time. And I go, you need help, man. Hire somebody. He goes, look at all these people. applied already. I can't hire none of these dummies. Because they all fucking wrote in here that says don't. So if they can't get that right,

I don't want to do business with them. When people don't listen, I don't want to do business with them. If I tell you something an hour and two hours later you call me with something stupid, I just don't admit you from the phone. Like, I'm done. Like I'm fucking done. I can't deal with. So I wanted to make people fucking listen again. It's a great gift to have.

I love to talk, but I also love to fucking listen. The other day when you and Dominic were talking for 40 minutes. Did I raise my fucking hand? No. Did I raise my fucking hand? No, I'm learning. I didn't have, I wasn't in the place to fucking raise my hand.

I'm amongst people who really know what the fuck they're talking about. That's a problem in America today. People want to chime in when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. You think I went to Jiu-Too because I like smelling assholes and feet? And you think I like choking people? I definitely don't think. It's not in my itinerary. But you know what, man?

I'm sick and tired of listening to MMA fucking analysts. that never even tackled a fucking tackle dummy. How are you going to know what these guys feeling in the ring if you never got clocked in the face? Do me a favor. Shut the fuck up. That's with any sports writer. They sit there and they insult football players.

Who was the last time you played football, fuck-o? Do you know what they're doing out there now? No. You know, it happens with basketball. It happens with baseball. There's always these people that you look at them and they've never done nothing in their fucking life. And they want to write about a sport.

They don't know. Oh, I was a fan of the game. No, you were a fan. but you never played it do you know anic started taking jiu-jitsu you have to from you have to do i've me just fucking around with you guys i have to do something i have to describe a hip escape i have to know what it's like before i could sit there and judge a guy right what the fuck am i but that goes on a lot in today let me start up a blog yeah because you know and talk bad about michael's bids being not fighting whatever what the fuck didn't you done what the fuck did you do but you do a lot of it

is them just trying to get attention and the way to get attention is to be negative and I've been very vocal fighting against that. I don't like insulting writers that shit on MMA in particular. Don't like it at any level. They're not respecting what that thing is. That thing is an insanely difficult endeavor. To be a fighter and to put your emotions on the line. And then for someone to callously disregard that, look, you can pump up the person who won

and you could criticize the technique of the person who lost. But they go way further than that. there's some of them that they make a person look like a buffoon. I don't like none of that shit. There's no reason for that. We learned a lot with Ronda Rousey. We learned a lot about society. There's two things that taught me a lot the last year.

When Ronda Rousey got knocked out and when fucking Trump won and that fucking Mutt went to his house for dinner to try to interview for the job after he badmouthed him. That's right. No, no, not the fat fuck. The guy from Utah. When Rick Romney went to Trump and then Trump won and he went to his house. And you know why people didn't say nothing about it? Because people do it all the time. They're just snakes.

They're disgusting. We've become disgusting people. So that's why nobody ever said, wait a second. That guy's a fucking mud. He'll never get it. He should be banned like United. You talked about Trump. I mean, you went out and blasted him.

That's pre-rid speech. Yeah, pre-rid speech. And now you're going to his house to try to get a job. You should be shot and hung. He rehearsed that shit. Yeah, but Americans didn't see it. they just let it go. That's why Lee's right.

You know what? We all seen this thing with United. United's always my third choice. United is my fourth choice. Okay? It's American. I go to Delta. I go to JetBlue.

I try Virgin. But they don't fly everywhere. To go to Austin, you got to go to San Francisco first. I ain't got that type of time. So the only time I can use them is to go to fucking New York. That's the only use I got out of Virgin. They're great to New York, though. But United, I look at every once in a while.

Like, I'm like, should I take the chance? Every once in a while they come through with like a short flight. It's an hour and a half. You can catch your night. You don't really want to go on Southwest. But you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you.

I don't like you motherfuckers anyway. You can't wear your yoga pants. Fuck. I got to help you guys with this sound. I know. You got to figure this out. Yeah, you need a whole board that takes this. Then it shortens up.

Something's been going out with me. Something's been going out with it. But don't tell them. Compression. Don't tell them because then they all become sound design. I'll hook you up. I'll hook you up with Jamie. Yeah, we'll figure this out. I love you.

I love you. Thanks for everything, man. Thank you. Thanks for this weekend, too. No, it was fucking tremendous. We got to eat those wings. That was great. They did fuck around. None of these fucking West Coast wings with rants. Suck my dick. I love you guys. Leverty Live 420, Tamblaw. I love you, cock suckers. Have a great night. A great week. Thank you. This podcast is brought to you by I Hate My Boss.

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