The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #474 - Mickey Gall

Episode Date: April 20, 2017

Mickey Gall, a fighter in the UFC Welterweight division and BJJ Brown Belt, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   Blue Apron - Go to blueapron.com/joey to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 04/19/2017.  

Hit it. Motherfuck. There's Uncle Joey here coming at you direct Wednesday, the 19th of April. For starters, I want to thank Anit.com. Our main sponsors, I love them to debt, supplements the best. You understand me? From the assaye protein to the hemp protein to the alpha brain. Go to Anit.com and press in. Church.

Boom! Get 10% off. Number two, me undies. When I go to Jiu-Jitsu, when I got a suit on, when I got short time, what do you think I'm banging underneath? fucking meundis you understand me you know why because moldal micro moldo a fabric three times softer than cotton but listen go again to meondis dot com look at the selection you see something you like pressing joey and meandis will take good care of you're right again go to meondis dot com slash joey for 20% off your first pair number three lee talk to me about blue apron oh my god blue apron the best i have my dad here he loves

I got him on Blue Apron. I have the whole family on Blue Apron. They sent everything right to your house. Couldn't be easier. Easy, delicious recipes. It's the greatest. All right. You heard it from my man Lee.

You know, he's an entrepreneur. He gave up Blizzard meat. So do me a favor. Go to Blue Apron.com slash Joey. Again, go to Blue Apron. com slash Joey. And you're going to get your first three meals for free. All right.

Blue Apron, Meandis, and On it. You know, I love you. Kick that meal, Lee. You motherfuckers have no idea what's cracking tonight Here you go Kick it Lee Kick it Oh shit

Oh shit Bon Scott Rest in peace you bad motherfucker My Australians It's the church of what's happened now Cuckuckers Oh shit Are you fucking kidding me

Vicky Gall What's up baby Lee Syatt Hey you do Uncle Joey Here we go They got strong man Weeat

And a heath and brave Oh shit Right here plain and simple Here we go On a Wednesday night So go down Here you go Go down

lick that muffler Go down lick that helmet Go down Here you go Go down Here you go Listen yesterday I was at home

I was cleaning my office I was throwing shit out I had a bunch of shit the shells. And I put on this album, UFO, Strangers in the Nights, their live album. Fucking brilliant. Michael Shankler just shredding the fucking guitar. But YouTube kept popping up albums.

And they popped up like Cheap Trick Live at Buda Khan. I almost shot myself, listening to that nonsense. So I went and clicked the next album, and it was Let That Be Rock by ACDC. This is an album that fucking I listened to a thousand times growing up, and I just forgot about it.

Mickey Gaunt, during the third song, I had to get him, sit in my chair and start crying. Like, I saw myself walking up those New Jersey hills. It brings back. Music brings back those emotions you felt, you know? I remember taking a bus from Union City, New Jersey to Seaside Heights, like a Puerto Rico. On a hit of acid with a ghetto blaster. Listen to the highway to hell with this dude fucking Randy Mergle, rest in peace.

And DiAgostina, I don't know what happened to him. He's lost somewhere in Florida. And the bus driver kept pulling over going, please, you've got to lower that fucking thing. Once he'd get back on the road, we'd fucking blast that music on it. You want to ask it for that? We want to ask it for that?

And in those days, we go to Seaside Heights. They used to have the water slide. I don't know if they still have it down there. This is 1980. I don't think it was water slides anymore. There was a water slide Mickey Gaugh that they greased with Vaseline. And for the extra 10, they give you a wetsuit. and you would do 90 miles an hour down that motherfucker.

So on Saturdays, this was the deal. All of us would get together. We'd smoke a few numbers. We'd get like a roast beef sandwich. Whatever's good on the pee, whatever that. At the end of the seaside, there's like a sandwich place that we would drive an hour and a half way to get the open whatever sandwich they had. Just phenomenal. We would meet Saturday and take like a hit of acid and we'd break up into groups.

Me and you, Mickey Gore, we're going to seaside. C.S. What's the other one next to LBI, Long Beach Island? That's further down. There's Seaside and then... Seaside Park, Tom's River. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, but LBI is the next one where it's uppity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a girl from school that was going to LBI, so me and you would go to her party.

Yeah. Billy the fucking kid and Dickie Siyadh would go to a party in Seaside Park. Lee Syatt would go to a Jewish function in Tom's River. and the plan was that we'd all meet at the water slide at 11 o'clock when the acid was burning and we'd go on that fucking water slide and when that I almost died because I picked up and there was a bridge

that thing would have fucking taken my head off I would have fainted it. You lifted up? Why? Because I wanted to see where my friends were and the guys are yelling, go back, go back. Lucky I didn't turn around and I actually dropped like a fucking mummy or I'd have a big fucking thing on my forehead now.

Mickey Goal! in the fucking house. What up, dog? Future UFC fucking champion. Yes, sir. I could see it in the fucking stars. Don't take a fucking moron to know you're a fucking savage and shit. Thank you.

Dick Syatt's in the house. He thought he already took the acid. That's how many bonds you gave. He asked me if we already took the acid. That is true. That's always a good night. You don't have the same weed that they have in Florida. It's a little bit better.

No, this is, this is a little different than fluff. And you know what? It's not even about the refurb. It's this, listen, I can give you a $5 hamburger, or I can give you a $15 hamburger. What's the difference? Ten bucks? The presentation. Yeah.

This bong is a meal. This bong is like the Subaru of bongs. Like, nobody would look at this. You'd go buy a four-footer with activation and pumps and shit. It don't do the damage that this fucking meal does. This meal doubles as a weapon. You can put a stick of dynamite in it and blow it out at somebody. You could take a fucking bottle rocket and shoot it.

This is the bong of deck right here. I don't care who may. I'm not giving them a plug. I'm talking about if you're looking for a bong, don't go longer than 12 inches. 12 inches is the ideal fucking bong glass. You can put ice in there. What do you think,

make it go? Amen. I don't even think there is, is it a brand for that one? It just seemed like one of like the no name. I was just going to say it's a no name one. We just got it from like a smoke shop. It's called the fucking meal.

And the thing, wherever you go, like you have Armenian people who know you. Like, That liquor, that shop, every shop in like the North Hollywood radius has at least one Armenian who you know on a first name basis. I fucking love them. I got them. I hold the Armenians close to me.

She goes deep. He thinks it's going to hang out with me. The Gentile from the farmer's market or the fucking Armenians with leather jackets thinking they're walking around in Brooklyn. The fucking almost, they don't fuck around. It's funny. I showed Dick Syed. We, our studios across is free from like a high-rise building that they built 22 years too early. in North Hollywood, and now they're building

North Hollywood around it. But there's a lady over there that from time to time has a red light on and a green light. And when I was a kid, when I was like 17, we would do blow at night and drive around, and a friend of ours would always go, stop.

Her light is on, I gotta go. And there was a girl named Debbie. And supposedly for 40 bucks, she'd fuck you around the world. Right there in Jersey, right in our neighborhood. If her light was red, that means she was busy. If the light was green, come on in.

Fucking Christmas time, you'd be confused. You would know what the fuck to do. She got relatives up there. They're singing the holidays, but years later, like two years later, I moved out of North Bergen. I was living in Colorado. My friends would call me, and they go, turn on eyewitness news.

You know, like, this is way before cable. Like, they have, like, a something different they had. They have, like, a satellite or some shit. And the funny thing was that this chick, the mayor, they had beat a political genius in my hometown. So they were trying to get back at this mayor. So what they did was they hired this hooker, the chick who had the apartment on 81st Street, and they made it go to Channel 7, eyewitness news, and say that. First off, they gave her a name Debrie Ann Ballingall. Like, it was a fucking joke.

And this chick went on fucking this news on New York. City, the biggest news thing, and said how the mayor was her fucking pimp and the mayor's These people had heart attacks. Her pimp? These guys were Christians. You know what I'm saying? And this chick's out there going on. You don't know how many times I've been with payoffs with them.

They drop it off at a barbershop. She had all the information down and all this shit went down. But she had never been to these places. This is way before the camera. You couldn't even prove it. She said she would blow the mayor and then sit outside while he went to make pickups and shit. dog fucking genius only in jersey would they pull a fucking move like this and they bought it in jersey they're like yeah that could happen in jersey

that this it did it did and you know what a year later they found her with everyone in her veins dead in the apartment close side park that's how you knew that bitch knew where the fucking goods were they were ready to undicted too and they killed her i uh i do jihitsu with a friend of yours a guy who you grew up with what's his name you know him as mad dog his name's wan you grew up he grew up he grew up he grew up up with him. You took some kid Dirk's Walkman. He had like a story with you involved. You took some kid Dirk's Walkman

and he was like friends with Dirk. You don't remember Juan? He's like, if you said Mad Dog, Joe, Joey, you remember me? From where? Bergen. Like, North Bergen. He told me confidently you'd remember. No, Mad Dog.

Does that ring a bell? I don't remember Dirk either. Out of his number. Out of your Dunbar's number. Out of your brain. What's that? Dumbar's number? You can only remember 150 people And then once you remember Get 151

Someone gets the boot I don't remember I was friends with a kid Dirk In Boulder, Colorado Not the one Yeah I was friends with the kid Dirk That was a real dick He was my boss at the detail shop

Another guy that thought he was fucking cute Yeah And he would come in and give orders For no reason He was getting like $8 an hour He'd come in there giving orders and shit So one day I found a dead rat Like a six inch rat

And he was a small smoker and I took the fucking rat and I put it in his jacket pocket and it was hanging on the thing out of the door this idiot I forget all about it you know me I smoked three joints I forgot I even did it the next day he comes to work his car is banged the fuck up he said he reached in his pocket oh he crash his shit oh that's awesome and he pulled the rat out he was pissed who did it you know me I just had that grit on my face on hit those people they try and boss you it's like don't boss me man you know what I mean I just got a person It's really crazy that you said that.

I just got hit up. You know, Facebook, you get messages, but then they go somewhere, and they call something else. And every once in a while, it pops up and goes, you have 36 fucking messages. And I click onto it,

and I see 36 messages that I've never fucking gotten in my life, but I don't know. About a week ago, I got a fucking message from a kid. I don't know if you remember me. You robbed me in 1985. He goes,

I just put two and two together. And he goes, his name. I don't want to say his name on the fucking podcast. He said what his name was. It was Dirk. It was about a Walkman. No, I was going to know. No, I don't think.

Unless it was a new Walkman and we got in a box or something, I don't remember. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the whole story. I wish he, but anyway, he does Jiu-Jitza now. He's like a feature white belt. He's got a kid in it. Nice guy. Yeah, it's weird.

I don't remember that. But this guy, I remembered. He's, you know what? In those days, like, if you fucked with me, like, weird, like, if you told me you had good weed and I showed up and I told my friends and it was shit weed, we'd just rob you like a year later. Just for being a fucking jerk off, we'd just rob.

This guy did something stupid to me. Sure. And I went to his house. It was the funniest thing. He had a Social Security check. Like a tax return in the mail, and I fucking took it because I had a banker who would cash those checks in those days. He told me, bring me anything.

But 10% I'll cash anything. So I took his check And I took a brand new car stereo On the box he had in his apartment Like an eight ball And I left And I left like a week later For Colorado

And about a year later A friend of mine goes Man I bumped into He said you robbed his house For a car stereo An eight ball And his social security check Fuck yeah I did

And he even said himself He goes You did so well I forgive you He goes You turn to do something with your life I forgave you I just want you to know I'm cheering for you and shit. Thank you for robbing me.

It's an honor. He goes, it's one of my favorite stories. I tell it now at the holidays. It's a badge of honor to get a honor to have been robbed by you, sir. You could do one of those tours. You know how in Hollywood they have those like vans that cut the tops off of? I wrote this house and I robbed that house. That drug.

Joey Diaz's victims. There's a guy on Facebook. I got to tell you something. It's been 35. years and he still won't let it go. Like he still won't let it go. Well, how much can you get him for? A half ounce of Coke.

What is that worth? At that time, maybe a thousand bucks. Who I'd still be mad? But he would bump into my friends and cry. Like, you don't understand. I had to get a part-time job at a tire store because of that guy.

Just please, if you bump into him, tell him just to give me half. It'll be forgotten. But the funny thing was, this guy fucked with me for a while. You know those people that, like, when they have you by the balls, they enforce it. Like, I was bringing him TVs. Okay. Stolen TVs.

Okay. I had a guy that was giving me TVs and boxes. I was giving this guy a great deal. And he's busting your balls. I would give him that and go, all right, give me a gram a blow. And we would be even. One night, I went in an Ozzy Osbourne concert. I went over and I go, here's a TV.

And he goes, I'm giving you a half a gram until that. I go, okay. So you made it right yourself. I never said nothing. I didn't say I didn't get mad I told my friends and they're like that motherfucker we'll see him again you know it wasn't like an important thing and sure enough it's eight months later because the concert was in October like in June it was like the hottest night of fucking June in Jersey when it gets humid and me and my buddy are popping

fucking vodka grapefruit with orange juice what do you call those sea breezes we thought we were Johnny Gumbar and shit like that which and we were drinking him and I went to his house house. I went to this moron's house. And he's telling me how he's going to New York and he just got a fucking ounce of Coke and blah, blah, blah. He's going to a concert. Well, if you're going to a concert, that means his apartment's going to be free for three fucking hours. I'm the wrong guy to be I got three hours to get in here, wash dishes. I can make a meal by the time you get back. So I went to piss. He was weighing the Coke, talking to his girlfriend on the phone. And I excused myself to piss and I opened up

the bathroom window. You know those little back, because bathroom windows, you always leave them open in Jersey. People always have their bathroom window open. It's whether or not you can fit in those motherfuckers. I was going to say, aren't they really small? They're small, but this window I could fit. At that time, I was 180. You know what I'm saying? I could fit in any fucking

window. Especially if there's an ounce of coke in there. I'm like a fucking rat. My spine flattens out. I can fucking zip through a viny door. Dislocate your shoulder a little bit. So I left the bathroom window open. I go back out, he's still on the phone. Remember when the phone had the long cord? He was like in the

kitchen, weighing Coke, talking to his girlfriend. And all of a sudden, fucking, he gets a knock on the door and like ten people come over to buy blow and everybody goes into the bathroom. Like, everybody has to pee. So at least I had an alibi. I'm like, oh shit. Ten people are in there then. Like three other people

went in there. So I left, and I'm talking to my buddy. And I didn't say none to my buddy. My buddy was a crime stop. And I knew he was a rep, but he was the only one that was with me that night. And I said, you know what I got to take a walk I'm gonna see if he's there I didn't tell him that he was going New York I said because I don't think they liked each other so I couldn't walk in there with this kid so I said you know what let me go in there and see if he's there I went back

knocked on the door hey are you there I may believe he was inside he wouldn't open I went around the back to the window it was wide open I jumped in landed on the bathtub on my shoulder I went through that apartment for a fucking hour and couldn't find that coke I found like $200 cash on like a fucking ring. As I'm walking out, I go, wait a second, that Coke is in there. I went in the kitchen, I opened up to under the sink, and there it was,

and the Tupperware container waiting for Uncle Joey, like a cookie waiting for Santa on Christmas fucking night. You know what I'm saying? So I'm living with a dude. We rob him Friday, and we stay out the whole weekend. We get sleep on Sunday night. Monday, we'll lift him weights.

And all of a sudden, me and this dude, of like brothers are lifting weights and we hear a knock on the door and it's the kid with his gorilla brother and they're like, listen we gotta talk to you and my buddy's like what? And he goes, Friday night

you came in on my house and he left the back room window open and you robbed me, cocksucker and my friend's like, I didn't rob me so I'm in the room lifting weights laughing my ass off because out of all the people to pick they pick my best friend

and he's like, get the fuck out of here before I knock you and your gorilla brother my friend was crazy. He comes back in and he's telling me all this and I'm howling deep. down inside because I'm the one that robbed him. He's like, they're accusing me.

And after about six minutes, he's like, did you fucking rob him? And how to be you? How the fuck did you rob him? And I'm getting the blame. It took him like a year to figure out it was me. And every time we'd see my buddy, my buddy would go, are you fucking crazy?

So once he's He's a thorough investigator. Oh, my God. I figured it out. It's staying on the case. Once he found out, he never stop. But it's not the reason. It's not that he's asking me for the money now. It's how he writes the emails to me. Like, you don't understand.

At that point in my life, I was just a mechanic. I had to get a job at a store to pay the debt. The guy charged me a Vig. But everybody that I would see, oh, my God, everybody that I would see somewhere in the night would go, oh, my God, I bumped into what's his name? Dog, it was the funniest thing for an hour. He told me how you robbed him, and he had a part-time job at Woolworths or some shit. I'm going to go to hell for those fucking things

You know what I'm saying Who gives a fuck you gotta have a good time Mickey Gall I love how Joey gives his stories You just never relate to him It's like yeah I just don't have one like that I didn't rob anyone You got a ton of stories

Yeah yeah but not like right off of what you say Like usually someone could say I'm like oh yeah I can relate to that Like this And have a story similar You're like yeah I was up in a tree We robbed these bags We jumped out

Hit him over the head I'm like, yeah, nah, I never did that. I always thought growing up that everybody in Jersey had grown up the same. Nah. Like I always said, you know, like everybody, like, I used to go down the shore and there was some crazy people.

Yeah. Down the show when I was growing up. It was crazy. And they had to be crazy because guerrillas like me came down every summer and invaded their fucking property. Like, we owned the place. They'd bark in front of your house.

Call us Benis. Yeah, I don't know what they call you. Ben, Ben, Ben, yeah. Shoebies, right? He's a Shoreboy. What's Benny mean? Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, New York. Benny. So we're Benny's?

Yeah, we're like, we're North Jersey. North Jersey, New York people. We're Bennies. We're like, they're like we're Shoobies. Like, we're not the locals. You know, they don't like us. Interesting. Yeah. I didn't know that shit.

Yeah. I heard the show is completely different now. I didn't even. It depends. It depends. You got the, you know, you go. got those people, like some of the crazy people, but it's also a lot of, like, families.

The people who stay down there during the winter, they're the real deal. Yeah. They don't get a fuck. Yeah, yeah. They got a pill. They're tough people down there. They are tough people down there. He's like, they have their natural little, like, South Jersey Maita. I'm like, how you guys know what to fight? You know what I mean? Like, no training, just they, you know, they surf

or they punch each other. Nobody serves, right? They, nah, yeah, they do. I surf. I never saw people surf from when I was growing up in Jersey. You get beat up. Like if somebody saw you surfing, like, come here for a single. Let's talk to you for a second. What are you wearing, dog?

What are you wearing? Why you dress like a seal? So what do you think, brother? About what? About anything. What's going on with your world? Life's good, man. Chilling, training, train hard.

Ready to be someone up sometime in the summer. Hopefully. Now, what are the cards that they announced lately? International Fight Week and stuff is like in July. That's where they do like two big cards. Right. That was like UFC 200 last year. I don't know.

There's stuff. You know, it's UFC. There's stuff all the time. No, but they just, that they announced McGregor against Tyron? No, McGregor's not going to fight Mayweather. First, he's going to fight Mayweiler. For sure. And that probably won't happen until, like, after the summer.

Well, they said they booked something in July at that arena. Where? The UFC? Yeah. From Mayweather. For Mayweather, Con. I've heard that. I've heard, I read it, I think.

Yeah. But I don't see how. Yeah, I actually, I know you're talking Maybe that's the announcement or something I understand Dana letting them fight But if I was day and I go before you fight Mayweather, you got to give me one That's what I was hoping. You gotta give me one

Pick a motherfucker Tyrone Woodley I think the money's too much It's not happening Ball seems to be in like Connors court with it You know what I mean? Because if they're both going to get a hundred million To just show It's gonna be the biggest fight in like

Combat Sports like biggest boxing fight biggest MMA fight it'll be this it'll be both be big brings two worlds together

hopefully they'll have like an undercard with a little bit of both a little boxing a little bit of MMMA yeah could you imagine

they did a kickboxing if they really agree in the middle like we're doing it on on Mayweather's terms the way they're going to do it and in a real fight Connor stomps him

Connor will kill him in like a real fight kickboxing and then boxing you know Conors have his work cut out for him Mayweather is a master

defensive genius you know he doesn't get hit much so I say they meet in the middle and do kickboxing let him have some kicks but maybe whether we'll never go for that it's his way of the highway yeah because he's smart

like you said like we were talking about for he's calculated he's smart you know what I mean well he said it he goes for the long time I was the B side then I went and beat Pachial now I'm the motherfucking A side so you know now I get to call my fucking shots

and that happens in everything that happens in everything Connor's doing it here's my question making because Yeah. Mayweather is 49 and no and he has all the money in the world and I know another 100 million is great. Yeah. But to risk 50 and O, like that's why I think he won't.

I'll tell you this. Like, will you risk that? Like that seems like once you start building that up, I would think about it. Would you risk a million dollars or 50 and O? And this is the best boxing fight he's going to get. He doesn't want to fight one of those. He retired. He doesn't want to fight one of these killers.

Like he's, you know, he got Canello Young. you know, there's all these other guys that will give him a real boxing fight, but he's taking an MMA fighter and putting them in his, you know, his arena. Now, I have no boxing experience. Are they looking at McGregor the way they were looking at CM Punk versus you? Do you think, like, is it that level of disrespect? Or what do you think they think McGregor is? That's something hard to say.

I say McGregor, no, McGregor poses, on the real McGregor poses way more of a threat than CM Punk. I mean, obviously, you know what I mean? Like, he's a legit. He's a great fighter.

But, yeah, I don't know. I bet they see a lot of things they think they can expose. Because every, every boxing commentator who comes on TV is just like he stands

zero chance and that makes, I don't understand that how that makes sense. I mean, he has a punch of chance. We've seen that. But it's not a, it's on paper,

Floyd should be a massive thing. Now, what weight would they fly that? I'm going to guess around 55, which for Connor, that's what I'm going to guess. I can't remember exactly maybe look up exactly what Floyd fights at. I'm not sure. He's like, he's somewhere 40s

50s. See, that's going to be the interesting thing. We know Connor's got great hands. For sure. We know that he's got great hands. Connor has great kicks too. I understand, but that's never going to fucking happen. I know. Okay. No, I'm not talking about kickbox anymore. I'm just saying the thing that makes him so

great at MMA is not just his hands. It's his kicks. No, it's his kicks. But I'm talking about if he fights Mayweather. Yeah, of course. What's the whole thing? Mayweather's a master of getting defensive, but he's also, how old? 40. That makes a difference.

Not really, maybe, your eyes, your movement. You got that, is he 40? I mean, he's such a fucking great athlete that I don't think the age. Been doing this and he can walk. You know, I've been here, you know, I'd love to see it, but one part of me, I want to see Connor in the USC, you know, like, for sure. I

I'd rather see him fight the 55ers. I'm a purist, man, and I don't like when they start fucking around. That's why I've been disenchanted in the UFC with the last two or three years. I get it. I totally get it. I totally get it. I like the purest shit. Number one fights number two.

If you don't want to fight them, then give it to somebody else, and that number one gets relinquished. Whether you're having a kid, whether your mother's dying, it doesn't matter. You got to fight. You can't take off two fucking years. You're injured? I'm with you. I'm with you.

But once you Like I've said a thousand times Once you start doing things for one person You have to do one for another And that's when Okay yeah yeah yeah That's what Jim Miller's saying

He's saying you're holding up the whole 155 Division But you won't let anyone Jim's like I can't go fight a kickboxing match He's like but they'll let Connor do special stuff That's his that's his What if Connor fights

But you Most people in the UFC they're not allowed to do If Connor fights, whatever his name is. Floyd? Yeah, for $100 million. Sure. Dana White's taking a piece of it. Oh, absolutely.

They're getting a piece. They all know that Dana White. Yeah. There's no getting them out of. That's what gets him out of his next fight in the UFC. That's why I think it's smart for the UFC to do it. Why not? It's smart.

It's a thousand things. I can't call it. It's a thousand things. It's a big fight. It's history, I think. So he's been fighting at Walter White in his last few fights. So what's that way? I believe it's 51.

I mean, let me look. But I do think that Connor's like a good size bigger than Floyd. Like Connor would be coming down in 55 and Floyd would be eating to get up to 55. So that's another thing that can make this a little more fun than it being the master versus a guy who's fighting outside his sport. You know? And I think Connick could hit hard. Heck yeah. Connick hit hard.

That left hands up. And Conica has a great chance against Mayweather, not just a puncher's chance. Connor's got a good chin. Would it be 10 rounds? I think so. Who do you think that's tougher for Connor? After like five rounds, it becomes something different. But three minute rounds, he's used to fives.

He's done five-fives. Now, the ring's a little bigger than the octagon, correct? Lengthwise, and Floyd knows how to use that ring. Yes, absolutely. That's advantage. That's huge. The terrain you're fighting on? Yeah, the terrain is huge.

That's Sun Tsu stuff. There's a lot of different things involved. there that let's see if it even happens. Let's see if it even fucking happens. Yeah, who knows? I hate predicting what's going to happen. What's the weight, Lee? 147. You see, that's a

toughie right there. Yeah. He'll come up. That's a toughie. You think Floyd'll come up? Yeah. Hearing 47 confirms what I thought. What does Floyd walk around that? Floyd is not much more. That's what I'm saying. He's fucking crazy. Boxers don't do the tremendous weight cuts MMA fighters do. They

Like, they're on weight on that week in camp. They stay training at their fight week. Why don't UFC fighters do that? Or MMA fighters do that? Because MMA has a huge wrestling influence. And wrestling, you suck as much weight down as possible and make yourself as light as possible, so you have a size advantage.

You can be the bigger man, stronger man, you know? But if everyone's doing it. Exactly. But now you're right, everyone's doing it. So everyone needs to do it just to keep up. Right, yeah, exactly. You know? Yeah.

What a wild fucking world we live in. Yeah. I never thought I would see fucking people in a cage kicking and wrestling. Yeah. There you have it. It's become a fucking, uh, a brand. It's a thrill, too. It's a brand, it's a thrill, man.

And you're right there, right? You're going in at the right time. You're young. You got the world by the balls. You got nothing to lose, right? Yeah. Fuck. Go out that I get to fight.

Get to go on and fight from people. Yeah, I thought by now they already give you a fucking fight, but it takes time. They want to see what's going on. July is still, July seems like a long time away, but it's really not. It's right fucking there.

Yeah, it's right there. It's so weird how I get to stay home from May 13th to June 20, fucking third. That's like five weeks continuously. I've never do that shit, you know? But I have so many places. It's going to be like my training camp is stand up. Yeah.

Like that's where I sit down for five weeks and really chase. Work at the store and stuff? I work everywhere. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah, you got it right. When you go to the store, it's like fighting the UFC now. Yeah.

You got to bring your A game when you go to the store. Yeah, we were there last night. Yeah, and to bring your A game down there, it's fucking tough all the time. You know, you want to experiment. I like to experiment, so I go down to smokers. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can put on my spinning back kick, and I go, and nobody knows nothing. Go, yeah, go down to a little boxing gym with all that.

So I try to do the same for stand up. Yeah. Last night I went to flip. Lappers, you know, tomorrow night I'm an Oxnard. But next week, like Tuesday, I'll go to a different place. There's a room that they're telling me

around the corner here. There's a fucking place, an insurance place. They turn into a stand-up comedy place. Next to the sushi place with the D-Rating. Right there by 7-11 by the police station. Sushi place with D-Rating? Did they get any fucking business?

Tons of business. I would never. Listen, for $6. Never. You want food poisoning? Dog, I went there two times, and I left there. You go there if you've got weight to drop,

he wants to lose some quick weight, but I'm going to vomit in and shit for a couple days. Because it was open, like one day I go, let me see if these people got business. Me and Lee went in there. Didn't you go in there with me and leave me? Yeah, you brought me in there after. I can't believe you're accusing me of Hotel sushi.

Well, the first time it wasn't bad. It was closed by. I didn't go on Yelp. I took a chance. It wasn't. Nobody got sick. Nobody got sick. It wasn't.

They gave you four items on the menu for like six bucks. on a California row. And as you're reading it, you're like, this is two-day-old sushi, but I'm gonna live. I swam in the Hudson. This ain't no big thing.

Isn't the name like Sunnies or something? Sunny D's. Isn't it like a Jewish old man's name? It's a Jewish old man with two Mexicans working. They don't know what's lick as fucking English. But let me tell you something. They're out there under a highway. Oh my God.

Okay? They're under a highway. The corner, 10 feet away is rat and fendish. domestic dumpster. And do you know what? They have sidewalk eating. And there's people out there eating like it's fucking Paris, France.

It's Al fresco. Yeah, it's Alfrisco. Between the pollution. There's times I go to that 7-Eleven and I don't want to go home. There's a 7-Eleven there. Is it 7-Eleven a dry cleaner, a bartending school? All right, so they have a bartending school there. And people go in there and drink.

Really? Like from 8 to 10, that's what they do. So they want to train you. So neighborhood people go in there and get like a beer for like a dollar. You learn how to get a beer, how to open it and shit like that. That's hysterical. How to mix a Greyhound. And then they go next door to the sushi place with the D-rating.

And they eat their hearts out. And they're out there, you know, talking about gluten and ha-ha-ha. World Peace and Hillary Clinton should have done it. But meanwhile, they're eating D-fucking sushi. It's hysterical. But next to that, there used to be an all-state place. And now some kid cleaned it out, put a stage in it. there in chairs and for two bucks you go up there they let you go on stage and they run until like

three in the fucking morning that's what i'm scared to go to that 7-11 now every time i go in there see it's a different comedian hey what are you doing what am i doing what are you doing you're in the fucking corner over there with rats is that the green room with the rats no that's just a little room over there but that's really cool you know how many times i've parked in i've gone in there like at one in the morning just to get like a soda and no smoking gum or a lighter and I'll sit there

and within eight minutes I'll see a rat the size of my fucking arm right there 20 feet away and that's when I run in the car like a little fucking pussy I fucking hate rats I don't like those like vermin animals

like I don't like in uh we went to Rutgers in New Brunswick they have like these ballsy ass pigeons where you'll be walking and a pigeon like won't move for you So like you end up finding yourself walking out of the way I'm like I know I'll take out a pigeon

I know I'll beat a squirrel but at what cost Like it scratches my face it pokes me And the bird flies up Try to beak me in the eye So I do the same thing I just avoid them I love animals but I'll kick a pigeon That's what I'm saying

I don't want to have to twist this little pigeon there I don't like those little fucking lice infested Motherfuckers With the disgusting feathers shit and plucking They're dirty they're dirty man I fucking hate pigeons with all my heart and shit. That place serves pigeon meat, too.

What place? That place that you went that day, that you and Paula went, I just read the review. They served fucking pigeon and... Holy. He calls me every... He calls me, and my dad... I gave my dad a few options,

including Stout, because I took him through the Joey questions. I'm like, what's Joey gonna ask if I asked him? Okay, Stout, we got him. He wanted to go get some Mediterranean. They have no Mediterranean on there in fucking Florida. It's not like that You gotta take a plane all the way out of here

We've been going there since I moved here And then I happened to see Lee Two but I came for the same Jesus Christ He calls me And he we go through this whole 10 minute Barrage of He didn't even talk to my dad

He's like I don't want to talk to people who eat hummus And hung up the phone And my dad's like, does he call you And ask about your meals a lot He's like every meal I like give the report of what I ate Oh it's I do it just to just to shock myself.

That's my entertainment. Whatever his dinner is, that's what my entertainment is. Because there's always a story. He can call me and tell me he's going to go get a lobster tail. And he'll call me an hour later, and it completely changed to something so fucking outlandish that I won't understand that.

I can see if you go, now, we didn't want lobster, we went and got fish. But he'll go through it. from like a lobster tail to like the worst taco place in the country. He could talk to me about Mexican food and we'll talk about it

how he loves it. He can't wait to have it and an hour later. He's eating at a black fried chicken place and he can't finish the chicken because it's so fucking bad. This guy goes to Pismo eats pizza in Hollywood. You go to Omiba, you always go to Joe's. It's like

tradition. You go to Joe's. No one knows. This tradition. And you get peace. When we go to Hollywood, where do I take you the last three times? Okay. It's tradition. Him and Paula love pizza. They love bad pizza. They're on me, but all they had to do is walk 30 yards to go to Joe's. They're not dirty. Dirty fucking yards of this. Where'd they go? They got in their car

and went to the worst fried chicken place in the fucking country. They couldn't even recognize. They would have done better at Popeyes. We would have had sad. not the worst. It's supposed to be the best, but who knew? That's what happens? You told me not to use Yelp. Who hasn't heard Roscoe's chicken and waffles?

When you're right at Omiba, there's only one place to go. And that's Joe's pizza. I mean, you'll travel two hours to get a bad pizza. Next time, I'm going to call you at 5 p.m. just to check where you go. This is stuff you fucking know off the top of your head. He went to Austin.

Thank God I stopped him. He was going to all you can eat Chinese buffet. Who goes to Austin to eat Chinese food? They were to poison them. They were to poison them. Thank God for Bobby Sharon to take him to eat Mexican food. Chewy's. Chewy.

I mean, you know, it's always, Mr. Sayat, you don't understand what I live with. Today? Listen, he's happy with Blue Apron for a year. Two weeks ago, he, what are you doing? I'm at the supermarket, buying Parmesan cheese. Like, what are you cooking spaghetti? He goes, no, no. This company, they're delimped.

This stuff was so bad. They had to throw it away. They never got it again. They were so embarrassed. Like, I don't take a chance. I'm from Jerry. I don't take chances. There's no reason to take a chance.

If that Chinese place has a lunch special for $4.95 with a Diet Coke, I go there every day. That's where everybody goes. I don't care if they want to eat Greek sandwiches. I don't even pay attention. Like, I can't eat Chinese food. That's great. You're eating Chinese food today. I don't know nothing.

I don't even ask people. Like, what would you prefer to? today. I don't give a fuck. We're going to get the best. Do you want to eat the best? Do you want to fucking suck dick and take a chance and get sick? Tell him, Mickey, go. All this is what I live with me.

Today, today feels like the first time actually meeting Lee. Because although I was here with him last time, Lee wasn't here with us. Me neither. The next morning I... You guys were popping those things like skittles. That's why I gave muffledent. Oh, you did? Yeah, I gave muffledant.

This is the second time I read. Okay. You just got back into it, right? Yeah. But they ain't doing dick. Nah? No, and I'm pretty happy because I lord my tolerance. And now of CBD oil is working better for me.

Yeah? And I got my wife hooked on CBD off, which is fucking unbelievable. It's good for you. That's just great for you. She kept telling me, I don't sleep. I'm up at 3 in the morning. I said, that's over. Take the CBD oil.

So for a week, she's been taking a CBD oil. I take it too. sleeping like a zambo. You know what she said to me tonight at dinner? I looked at the thing. That's T.H.C. And I go, what the fuck you think you're dealing with? You didn't know that?

That's why you sleep like a zambo. Oh, she, hers with THC in it. Oh, fuck you. That's the only way I do it because it gets it to the system a lot of easy. See, I got the stuff they sell in Jersey. It's like, no, I do use it, but it's like it's not psychoactive. There's no THC in it. This isn't psychoactive.

But if you don't smoke, you get something. Gotcha. I sent it to my godmother for her hips. Okay. And she kept calling me and then she kept saying, man, it took the pain away. But boy, I slept 13 hours last night. That's what people want. Yeah, my buddy just got a shoulder surgery.

And he's been taking a lot of it too. I take it because it's good for like your brain, stuff like that. I take shots in the head sometimes. Yeah. You know, I've got to be preventative. No, it's good for brains. It's good for circulation. It's just good.

You sleep better. It's good for muscle pain. Like, I won't take it in the daytime. All that. because I was actually getting fucking hungry. I got back from Jiu-Jitsu. I popped two Tylenolns.

I took a gallon of water, and I'll spray three of those sprays under my tongue. And a couple weeks ago, I almost didn't make it to the fucking podcast. Give you the munchies? gave me the fucking munchies, too. What do you mean you're going to make it to the podcast?

I don't feel shit from it. I don't get any effect. No, no, no. Because you have to get one for one. That's what it's called. There's one for one. There's two for one. Then there's no THC.

Okay. Go one for one. A guy like you has to do no T-8C because of the testing. Like, Dick, you could do one-for-one. So before you leave, tell me to get you two bottles or one-for-one from Perennial. They're 64 apiece, and they're fucking tremendous. You'll sleep like a baby. Can't wait.

You'll sleep like a baby. You take it out of the box. You take the label off. You put the cap on it. You put it in a baggie so it doesn't spill. and you put it on the inside of your shaving kit. If they look in there, I hope their mother's burning help.

You know what I'm going to look at that for? What are you going to look at that for? They're going to be that creepy. And they're going to take it out and read it. And it's not their world, guys. So they're really not going to bust your balls. Does this marijuana know at CBD or just keep saying it's CBD or. And a fucking scientist comes over.

and says this has T.H.C. You blame it on Lee Syed. My fucking son, that sack of shit! I told him no THC. He's played a fucking trick on me, that son of a bitch. They're never to... They're not going to come back and throw Lee in jail. They might.

No, Lee, they're not going to throw you in jail because then you're going to play stupid too. And I don't know what you're talking about. My dad, his back hurts and he has fucking headaches. Western Rule number one in the church, you don't know nothing. I don't know nothing You don't know what's happening

So he's going to blame it on you You're going to blame it on him It's a big misunderstanding You've donated $100 to the Jew Federation of America For a scholarship to summer camp To Shabah camp right Shabbat camp

What's the name of it? Haban Shabbat Shabbat The Telethon I thought you were saying Shabbat Yeah same difference They do the same Sure that's awesome But they're not going to fucking

Say nothing to you They don't even know what it is guys they really don't. It's not like they're trained in CBD. They really not. We're still very blind to this still. So if they find that they're going to ask you what it is, listen, there's CBD oil you could spray on your back.

And they're free. Bro, you know how many times my back is hurt, like just sore from going to Jiu-Jitsu? And they have samples at the weed store. You just take them, pull up your shirt, and by the time you walk out of it, you have no pain in your back. It feels like you put that freeze on your back and shit.

You know, I'm not a T-HC expert. I might be. Mickey Gall. No, no, no. I'm a fucking idiot compared to other people. But I know how things make me feel, and I know how it affected my wife. My wife don't get high.

Today she was giggling. She said, that's got T-H-Z in it, you motherfucker. That's why I heard of that. I couldn't tell who you were. She said she got up in the middle of night, and she didn't know who the fuck you were for like 10 minutes. She goes, I didn't know if you fucking went to sleep. That's how high she's getting.

But last couple weeks ago, I did five sprays, and I got up at four to pee, the room was purple. It's at that time I did ecstasy and woke up in the middle of night. I took her to X-1 and went home and fell asleep. I got up to pee in the middle of night. The room was fucking purple. You're sitting there. Can't relate to that in making? You don't want to talk to me about nothing.

Oh, you know, I love talking you, man. What are you talking about? Talk to me. Where do you go to Jiu-Jitsu? Where is this place? David Adeeves. It's Gracie, New Jersey. It's in Lebanon, New Jersey.

How far from Harry? What's his name? The fucking guy that... Harry. They got that fought in the UFC that has... Henry, New Jersey. He's got the Jit's...

You're talking about a nicotine? No, no, no. Nicotone, Jim Miller. Ricardo Al-Meda. Ricardo Al-Mada has a school in Henry, New Jersey. Hamilton. Hamilton. Henry.

I don't know if something with an H. Yeah. Hamilton. Hamilton. Henry. They both sing. Yeah, it's a great school. I, it's a little far for me, though.

Okay. Yeah. Mine's a great school, too. David Adi, the man. Is it Ghee, Nongi? Gee, what is it? Geeb and no Gave. Mostly Ghee, actually.

Okay. You do a lot of ghee. A lot of ghee. A lot of Gee. Yeah. Yeah. I love the Ghee. I love the Ghee, too.

I like the shorts, but I don't get it. The Ghee's a fun game. If you can get out of arm bars and everything with all that friction, the ghee, you're no geek. My defense is so, I can slip out of anything. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah. It makes your no-gee defense so good because with ghee, it slows it down.

You have to be calculated. You have to use the right moves. You can just use little pulls and bursts and you slip out of stuff because of the lack of friction, like the slippery, the sweat. The geese slow all that stuff down. So it's a really different game. I love it. I love it, too. I'm so bad at it.

And I love it. Really? You're putting in the work, though, man. You got him back into it, real big time. Look at him. He's all skinny. Remember he was getting a little soft? He's out here and Cali eating way too many

Albuacados, you know, getting a little chubby, soft around the edges. Now look at him, man. I am hooked like a drug addict. I think that if I don't go, I could tell the difference on stage. I could tell the difference in my home. Like when I go and I get choked out. And let's say I do one good thing,

but I get kicked five times. I focus on what I did good, man. So I leave there feeling great. I don't focus on that I got choked up by a 26-year-old kid. I don't, you know, You know, he passed my guard. I had him an half guard for a little while.

You know, we tried to fuck around. He's a purple belt. I never wrestled before. So everything to me was from scratch. All those muscles that you need were how to develop from scratch. So the first year was just getting my elbow strong, learning how to post, learning how to fucking get up on one knee, you know. I was 340 and going in there and huffing and puffing and paranoid with a, I had the panic attacks being on the bottom. Look at how good is making you look.

No. You're coming down, man. You're getting out a lot. And that's the way to get it down is to go in there. I go in there a little earlier. I go in there 45 minutes earlier and I do all the warming up shit on my own. So by the time I get on the mat, I got a half hour on these guys. I can breathe easier.

I won't go into panic mode. That's smart. I do the warm-up. So you don't get hurt. I'll keep you on the mat. Listen, I'm 54. Yeah. It's the warm-up is as long as the workout.

You need to warm up. And if you don't fucking think so, you're going to pop something. The warmer past. to be. I do throw long warmups too. Achilles tendons. I jump rope. I fucking do sit-ups, push-ups. He's got those

rings and I just twist them and I pull my hips up and I pull myself up. I breathe in. Then I let my hips go down. I do five sets of ten of those. Good. Get to engage all those muscles. I'm all firing. By the end of that, I'm already sweating with that rash card on. I'm taking my gait top off. I take

those steel bats. I work my shoulders. I do the fucking push-ups. I stretch my back. I mean, just do it. So the time I go in there, I go through all that dizziness and all that. You should stay home. It's called resistance. You become a pussy. I shouldn't have come. I ate at

8.30. Maybe I should go home. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do I still get that sometimes? Dog, I was telling I going to get hypnotized for fear. Have you ever turned around though? Every time you walk in, right? You did actually turn around? One time I pulled up parked. Before I went to Alberta Cranes the first time? The first time?

I would say that doesn't count then. I went on a Saturday, pulled the car up. parked, sat there for 10 minutes, started the car and went on. And I was so pissed. Starting is the hardest thing. I was so pissed at myself that whole weekend. Like that Sunday, I got up and I tried to redeem myself by going other schools. Like, where else can I go today?

And I said, fuck it. I'm going Monday. And when I walked in there just doing the warm up, my fucking heart was in my throat. Yeah. I remember my first day, I was talking about wanting to do. do jiu-jitsu. I was 16. And then my dad found a place. It was a Sunday. He was like, come on, let's go. You're talking about this all the time.

Let's go. We're going. I'm taking you to that. And I was like, nah, I don't want to go. Because it's a weird. It's a weird thing. You're like, you're a little nervous about it, you know? But the hardest, that's why I would say the hardest part is starting. Just get, for people who are thinking about it, just, you got to just go in. It's the hardest part, but you just got to do it. I take my daughter to school by 845. I get home. I send some emails. I make some calls.

By 9.45. start getting nervous. Yeah. That's what my body starts telling me. You know what? It's a sunny day. Why don't you just work out at home and get some vitamin D? You're going to be locked in the gym,

sniffing balls and feet with a fucking guion. That's all... I mean, it's just... You get all this fear coming into it. As I'm making my fucking protein drink and as I'm filling my little water flask, I'm talking myself out of it, dog. Like, ah, I'll go tomorrow.

I'll go tonight at 6.30 before the podcast. Oh my God And then After I shake up the protein drink And I take my little aspirin from my heart I go I gotta go I go

I go put undies on knee pads You know and I fucking go You feel so much better after right As soon as you walk in You're gonna hate yourself all day If you skip it And you're gonna feel good about yourself All day if you go

It's three hours of my week It's therapy It's therapy That's what it is for me And every time I go I try to last a little longer I try not to tap Wow.

That's it, man. You know, I just try to. So it just, I wanted to do something beside comedy. Comedy wasn't cutting it for me in that sense. You know, I don't have a great time when I go to a comedy club and see 20 comics anymore. It's your little, it's J. I've been doing it for a little too long. Okay.

I've been doing it for too long. So I enjoy seeing some comedians, but other ones I could do it out. And you probably got to like, they all want to talk to you. No, no, no, no. Pete, what you mean? You have like a million friends there. You know what I mean? It's like when you go to

If you go to Mark Henry's gym You got five UFC guys And that's a lot of fucking testosterone Yeah That's catones That's a tones down the show Nick's a lot of fucking testosterone in the room Even if I love Mickey

A little bit of testosterone in the room Let's pretend Mickey Mickey shows me a Take down You know a single A different way for Joey to do a single And while he's teaching me, I do it on him. I do it a little harder.

You know, it's just little things. So with comics, now that I go down there, I know where we stand. I just want to do my business and get out of there. So my therapy is when I go to Jiu-Jitsu, and nobody knows who the fuck I have. I sit in the back. I'm that fat fuck. His face is getting red during the warm-ups and during the hip slides, you know, the hip escapes and shit. But then after that whole thing, I tie on my belt.

And I remember when I started, I would go to the... fundamental class and go to myself I hope I never get promoted to the advanced class. Like I don't want to ever want to go to the advanced class. I'll stay in this fucking fundamental class until I'm 90. Because it's like they break it down more. You only roll once but you break the guard for like

15 or 20 minutes. The other side you break the guard for 10 minutes than for the last 20 or so. You roll 8 minute rounds. I didn't want to do that shit. Long rounds. That's good. Eight minutes as long. No, no. That's a long. No, no. That's a long fucking time bro. That's long round. I'm an old man.

Yeah. Most of them just do five. That's, I like that. I kind of like that eight minutes. Yeah. It's kind of weird. But, you know what? I go.

I dread it. But when I walk out that door, if a car hits me, God forbid, he'll bounce off me. That's how you feel because you overcame the hardest thing that you wanted to do that day. Whether it's write a letter, whether it's apologized to somebody. It's all the same fucking feeling. You get the same. That nervousness is that uncomfortable. That's good for you, though.

That's really good. It's, you know. Strong and strong outside of the gym. Yeah. You know, I get hypnotized for my fear. Yeah. For when I, when I start huffing and puffing, I can't control my heart rate. Okay.

And it sends me somewhere. Like, I get anxiety. I got to really control it and control my breathing and slow down my heart rate. So I started getting hypnotized. And I was telling her that the problem with my jiu-jitsu and my comedy was the same approach. I was going over there all fired up. Like, it was comedy. J-Jitsu isn't comedy.

If I go fired up into Jiu-Jitsu, I'm going to burn out just thinking about it. When I shake Mickey's hand and I look and see his black belt, I already lost. That's the type of guy I am. I just wait for you to fucking do whatever you can because I'm scared of you. That's how I would do it. Now, at least, I don't have that fear no more. It's not about the belt. It's about the technique and me moving around and passing your guard.

So I had little fears. If you passed my guard and got on top of me, I couldn't breathe. Yeah. I didn't want to have that. I wanted to... Just now, I had an altercation. I told you guys. Not an altercation, but I had to yell at somebody

because they were just trying to be Johnny fucking tough in front of him. And I remember walking into the wheat store and my anxiety was starting to come up. But I controlled it. And I even turned around and looked back at him. And he walked into his fucking car. I couldn't do that years ago. I would fucking lose it.

And I don't want to lose it. So I wanted to tell her. telling I want to keep the fear for comedy, but I want you to take away the fear for Jiu-Jitsu. Do you follow me? For comedy, it's like fighting. You've been doing forever. You're going to get up there.

You know you're going to... Yeah, I know I'm going to get up there. But you still should have a little fear. You need to have that. It's got to keep you sharp. Keep it sharp. If you're walking into the octagon and you're 30 feet away, you have to have a slight fear,

and then it converts into a certain type of energy. Yeah. That fear becomes, what is it? Potential energy. adrenaline is energy that's stored, and kinetic energy is energy that moves. It's so fucking weird how this works in your body. And unless you've been on stage, you really, and you've been on the radio, you know, Lee's been on stage.

It's a euphoric fucking thing. Because at first, as you're walking towards it, it's like you're walking to get shot. That's how I feel. When there's times at there's shows and there's 600 people in the audience and I have friends in the audience, I'd rather you. you shoot me as I'm walking up but once you touch that microphone and you say those

first couple words, whatever was in your stomach, those butterflies and that fart that gets stuck in your ass, you ever get those nervous farts, it pushes your shit out and it just smells horrible. Like it smells like your intestines are in the room. I'll fart sometimes before I go

on stage. Like just a nervous fart. Like I'll get a little coat of sweat on me like anxiety sweat, I'll feel that it's so many weirds how that energy transcends in you once i touch the microphone though and i say those first couple words that energy goes on to the audience and now i have no fear how does time work for you guys like what i mean like in in terms of what does it go faster so when i went on stage sometimes it seemed like five minutes took forever and sometimes 30 seconds went by no and no time at all like how does it work for you guys

How does it work in the ring? I'm curious. That's a great question. I guess a lot of it's just like autopilot. You don't hear a lot of your corner. You're just kind of locked in. Like in the cage and the fight, I always tell people like amateurs or people before they fight. I'm like, yo, it's different in there.

I remember my friend, Billy Williams, he told me, he was like, yo, just you'll see. It's different in there. And it's different because it's just very, everything's high. heightened. You know, it's like you, you're, uh, you're very locked in. You're very, uh, like tunnel vision. So time is like, you kind of have an idea of where maybe you hear your corner. I'll hear little bits and pieces.

Um, not everything, probably. I mean, you know what I mean? I just like, I hear spots of what they're saying. And then, you know, I hear the last 10 seconds. You have an idea just from because you're always doing five minute rounds, but not like, you know. So what I, what I meant more is like, is like, does it seem like, it's, takes longer than five minutes for some rounds. Yeah, sometimes, yeah, it could seem, every, it's weird.

It's one of those things where it's like, it seems very fast and it's all also forever at the same time. Well, if you're getting punched in the head, it seems like forever. If you're punching a motherfucker, that shit goes by quick and shit, you know what I'm saying? But if you're getting hit in the head, I can imagine that. Even that shit, it doesn't like hurt. No, no, no, no, you're just like, oh, it's like you're just like a video game, you know, you're just like, bomp, okay, that's the thing.

Yeah, no, once you go back and the adrenaline goes out and the pain, you Stutz. Okay, I guess I got hit. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I would, I, I, I thought that you guys would zero in more on the trainer. Like, all you would hear is his voice. Like, throughout those eight weeks of training camp, he was yelling so much.

Some people I bet do. But I've also, Farras, Fossahabee said that you shouldn't be really hearing much. He said, you should be so locked in that you, that you shouldn't, you should be tunnel vision. You should just be seeing your guy and you should be locked in. Shouldn't really be here much. You know, I have people that come up to me before shows. Excuse me, Mr. Diaz.

It's myself and my wife's anniversary. My name is Bob Johnson, and my wife's name is Eleanor Johnson. When you go up there tonight and you give us a shout out, people have no idea that once I hit the stage, your name and you are the last thing I think about. it's so fucking weird. Like, you don't even think about it. You don't even remember that shit. If I don't see you, you're dead.

Like, you come up to me and go, there's three bachelor's parties in the show. I won't even remember when I'm getting up there. Yeah. I don't have time to remember your fucking name and your wedding. Like, when people contact me and say, hey, during your show, can you do not even in a million fucking years?

I think you purposely forget. What's that? Any of that information. No, I don't purposely forget. You fucking forget. If you're doing your job, you fucking forget. If you're focused in on what you're doing and your materials coming from your heart,

you're not thinking about Mary or Bob Johnson unless they're your fucking parents and they're in the audience and they're watching you bomb a dire, slow death. That's when you'll get a fucking sympathy hug by going, listen, my parents have been married for 80 years. And they're in the audience tonight. The crowd goes crazy.

And now you got a little day-wark, you know what I'm saying? You follow what I'm saying to you? So, yeah, that's the only time you'll remember if you're dying so bad that you'll go, okay, here's my chance to be nice guy or you'll thank the troops. Let's give it up for the troops. As soon as they say, let's give it up for the troops, you're dead. You're dead. Okay.

And I respect the troops. I'm not saying nothing bad about the troops, but that's what they'll do. Usually I give a waitress a shout out. Yeah, it's like a crutch. Like, if I'm getting a beaten, I'll tell them to tip the waitresses, which in fighting is like going back to the corner and your coach telling you what to do. I'm programmed to tell you about the waitresses,

but in my mind I'm thinking about what are the next two bits coming at you. I got to dig deep, bitch. This fucking little joke about the waitresses is ending in 10 seconds. What's coming out of your mouth? Your mind's going a million miles. It's really fucking weird. It's really just weird. I love when a fighter would go, listen.

I'm going to go in there, punch him in the face, and arm bomb. And you go, what? That's a taste of tremendous focus to go into a fight, knock a fucking dude out, get on top and spin him an arm bomb for no reason. That takes a tremendous focus. It takes the same amount of focus to go on stage and try to, like, do 55. Like, I tell people all the time. People come up to me and go, hey, do you want to party after the show?

Listen to me. After the show, the adrenaline wears all. So those two hours are standing, me sinking into the fucking stage, because when I'm on stage, my gorilla feet sink into the stage. You guys don't see it because I wear size 13, but I got a size 14 Adidas, so I can make my feet clamp into the floor. These are the same things that fighters do. It's the same fucking thing.

So after the first show, I go back there and sit down. Can you imagine rolling for an hour And then making me use to down for an hour And then going back out there That's the toughest Show of the week is the second show To get started So now your energy has to be at a complete

Different level You got to get that energy back twice So what I usually do is loosen up with people in the room Not do my jokes on them But pick an argument You follow me Something like I'll torture Lee about what the fuck you eating Even if I like what he's eating, I'll ask him what he's eating just to engage him into getting me hyped again.

Lee doesn't know I'm doing it. He has no fucking idea I'm doing it. You know, Rogan and Redband knew they would put their phones on the table. I didn't believe in men should have matching phones at that time. Okay, so they used to all have matching phones. I would look at those phones and the heat in my heart would burn up and I would go on stage like a killer. You know, it's so many, people have no idea what really happens. I can't party after a show.

Two hours of standing, it feels like I've been running for four hours. It sounds like you're expanding your energy in the proper place. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. As I say, if you're working hard enough in the gym, you shouldn't have the energy to be going out and fucking around, you know. My hips don't hurt. My hips are great. I exercise my hips all the time.

When I get offstage, these two points appear. from your energy coming from your fucking nut sack that energy comes deep from the fucking nutsack it's kind of travel through those capillaries and those chakras as they say you know what I'm saying I gotta drop chakras of these bitches for these non-acupunctureal motherfuckers

that callie talk that's that cali talk what's up Lee drop it on me baby boy you guys want to split this of acid you're ready to go Lee sciat or what let's see what time. Syatts go hard man I'm impressed like father like son listen we ain't got time to fuck around when the siats are doing that thing the styats are doing their fucking thing okay

i think i think we're to stick with the weed tonight jesus course um no let's give him a piece of blotter what do you think jesus the side he wants a little bit fuck yeah what do you think if it was up to lee think if it was up to lee you guys would be out a shitty movie right now you know what i'm saying watching the movie dying inside like when they're eating squirrels fucking eating squirrel tacos if it was up to leave. I'm not going to tell you what... It's intense. You won't sleep tonight, but...

He didn't come down later to sleep. What do you think? He's you? He'll be up all three nights, bopping and shoving. He don't give a fuck, Jack. We'll save this fear for 420. We'll have the acid for you tomorrow. We'll meet here and do a pregame...

We'll do a pregame pariscope, and we'll give you a little ice cube to take a new new time. and we'll put Pink Floyd music on you'll think you'll You want to be outside or do you Does it make you want to be alone In the dark room? That's all up to you

Only one way to find out It's only one way to find out Me I would drop you off at the house Turn out the lights and put on Pink Floyd And just sit there and watch your light flash in front of you Put on the wall and let it go Then put on animals Then take it the dark side of the moon

Then wish you were here And then by that time, Leo will be checking your pulse, call the rabbi and shit. By the way, speaking of rabbis. Speaking of rabbis. I was watching a fucking show about Panama. I have a friend that's Panaman. And I was watching that show with Don Zimmerman,

where he showed, he niguanam meat and all this shit. And Panama, do me a favor, Mr. Sahad. Just open that door a little bit. Don't block the cameras. Don't block the cameras. Just open the door a little bit. Jesus Christ on a crutch. No, no breath.

What happened? No, my girl bladder's acting up a little bit. I'm going to pee in a little while. Go ahead. You need to pee. I'm going to pee real quick. Go ahead. Go pee.

I'll do the fucking shout-outs real quick and shit here. You know, I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Mickey Gall on the house. Tyler Kaufman, Don Wrangler, Dante Gazzini, writing more letters than Abe Lincoln. Brandy Lynn, one-by-one podcast. I don't know who the fuck this is. West Woods.

and my man Lorenzo Toledo What are you fucking nuts Or what? Micah Garcia How's that one for you? Bad motherfuckers How was that? It's good.

I'm relieved. Now at this point right now You don't have a fight How many days a week are you training? Five. Jesus Christ. And set more than once a day. So what's your typical Monday?

Monday, I'll box at like two. I'll do boxing, little kickboxing. I'll do that. that from like two to like four 30. Then I'll chill and I'll do, I'll do jiu-jitsu and the ghee from six to seven-thirty. And I'll do no-gi from seven-thirty to like ten. Pretty much. Monday is a nice big day.

That's like, that's like, first is two and a half, second session is like four. So I'm doing like six and a half hours of training. And what's, uh, what do you do Tuesday? Tuesday, I do strain the conditioning. And then I'll Like I'll go I'll go to the gym workout with my man Billy D. Williams

That's beyond fitness And like lately I've been doing a lot of squats And deadlifts Just like eating everything Deadlips is tremendous Yeah Just feeling strong And getting strong

Stronger So Tuesday is just strength and conditioning That yes What's Wednesday And then Wednesday I'll I'll do the Gigi Jiu-Jitsu And then I spar

So then I'm doing Like more stand-up You know And then Thursday? Thursday, I strain the condition again, and then I'll do a geek class again. And then Friday, I do boxing and kickboxing. And then sprinkled in there, on my strengthening condition days, I'll also hit pads. So I'm doing like a little.

Do you do a strength and conditioning? Tuesday and Thursday, in camp, I'll add an extra day. And do like a little more cardio lately. I've been doing more lifting. But on Tuesdays and Thursday, I'm going to be working on my man, Ammer, who is a, always in Jim Miller's corner, good moitai, pat on stuff, and I'll be, you know, hints and miss with him.

So you're pretty much, if you had a fight, how much weight would you have to cut right now? Right now, I'm big. I'm like, but 70, I make 70 really easy, which is why I felt comfortable, you know, putting on a little bit of weight, and I'm like 200 right now. Yeah, but strong, man, feel strong.

Well, that's what happens. When you gain that weight, it depends what type of muscle you build. Yeah, I've been working real hard. Like, we went to London for the UFC, and, like, when I was out there, we have fun, like, you know, drank almost every night and shit. But before that, I put in, like, a camp.

Like, doing two a days, Monday to Friday, sometimes sparring a B-Millers on Sunday early in the morning, like just getting work in. Like, putting a lot of work in. And then I took, like, a week off when I was in London, and then I've been back at it again. He's training a heart as heck. I was supposed to train with Bisping out here,

but he's in Thailand, filming a movie. This is tremendous that you guys, a lot of people at home just think you guys show up. They don't know. Fuck, no. How fuck. fucking hard this year round

that's the thing why I compare it so much to uh to comedy in a way I totally agree because it's like you don't see

all the work we put in you put in at like the comedy store or this place I'm in the gym two times a day it's only the it's your guys specials

and my fights so I got if I'm not if I don't if I'm not perfect and for 15 minutes the fifth only 15 minutes that I get

people get to see I'm like a piece of shit you know what I mean then you it doesn't matter It doesn't matter how hard you work unless if you can't bring it that one night, that one date that they set. You have to bring it that night or you're garbage or you're never going to be anything in that sport. It's crazy because for years, I thought I would just go up there and, you know, give it like 50% and whatever happened to happen.

That's why I'm like improvising on stage. Okay. And for years, my comedy got better after I started watching MMA. Really? I tell people, I compare it to MMA. Oh, you know, I have heard you talk about that. I've compared to MMA. I've compared the shit people don't like to do.

Like, you see a guy come in and he has three knockouts. But also some guy figures out, let me take this guy in his back. And the guy is completely fucking helpless. Yeah. And I've seen that in the UFC two or three times. And I've gone to myself, how can that guy go into that high level, of competition and not at least be a purple belt.

You gotta be well-rounded. Like an eight, nine-year purple belt. In each spot. You gotta be able to hurt people over your hands and then kill people on the ground. You know, and that, when I got into comedy,

I improvised for the first three years and I got nowhere. Gotcha. It was cute. It wasn't like structured. No, if it came, not at all. I would have two jokes

go up there and go, Mickey Gauls in the audience, Mickey Gaul, smacking bitches. And, you know, in a way you would leave Dengo. I like Joey. Yeah.

He kind of pissed me off tonight because I was, and I picked up that habit in New York. Okay. If you go to New York clubs during the week, they talk to a lot of audience people. Yeah. And some people are great at it. Big J. O'Kerson's a big monster at it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

But when you go do a show and people pay 25 bucks to go see you. Sometimes it doesn't go over so well. It doesn't go over so well. And it does it, you're like, that's why I started writing comedy, because the same reason, if you take me down on my back and I'm fucking helpless. I can't even have guard you. You know, I can't even fucking, I don't even know how to use my hips.

You know, little things. That's how I can, I would watch fighters come up and go, well, you know, Mickey Gore, wait till I fight him. He's never seen a right hand like mine. Okay, so you had three knockouts, but this is all you're counting on it.

Yeah. I want you to call somebody and go, dog, listen, I'm fighting Diaz next time. This motherfucker, he thinks he's a good wrestler. I want you to teach me how to take him down. do the rest. And every day for five fucking weeks you meet this guy at 8 in the morning and you take a

dummy down or he teaches you to but at least you learn something in this camp. And even when you fight me, you're going to go, you know what? I may not be the master of taking Joey Diaz down. I'm going to try it one time. I'm going to try it high so you can't guillotine me. You know, little things. Yeah.

I want to see a fighter evolve. Every fight. Hell you. I always... I'll promise you every time you see me, I'm going to be a new so many new weapons. Like I've been working really hard my striking with Sean Diggs I'm

I'm killing it right now I'm sharp I got a lot of new tricks I'm excited to fight again Every time You're never gonna be able Get a read on me Every time I'm gonna be

Completely I'll whoop my ass Who fought in The guy who fought in December I'll whoop him I'll fall CM punk I'll whip him even worse You know it's funny

How you have eight limbs With Cakeboxing Yeah eight striking points Eight striking points You have Jiu Jitsu You know you have all

these weapons to choose from. And if you, nobody says that you have to go and learn 16 loose sweeps in jihis to. You just got to practice one. A thousand times. A thousand times. And let the guy, today I got there, you know, I'm really good at the deep half. Nice.

Like I love the deep half. Nice. You're always going to pass my guard, but you're not going to get your foot out of these gorilla thighs. I'm going to hold on to have it. And I will pinch my fucking knees till I see your fucking ankle turned purpose. But I want to pinch your ankles. Because I was going for

the far leg. Today, Alberto came up to me. He goes, I saw he he's doing for the far leg. That's the Subaru one. He goes, let me teach you the way I'd do it. And he taught me today, and today I just said to myself, you know what? I'm sick of being a pussy. I'm going to try it his way. Second guy, I sparred again. His leg came up.

And instead of going for this one, I went for this one, popped him up, grabbed onto it, fucking rolled. And it rolled over, took a deep breath and just fucking hip back. There you go. And I love it. I fucking loved it. I went up to him after class and he goes, I saw what you did.

He goes, it was half good because I called it. I call it when I can't do something right, it's a Puerto Rican way. Yeah. Like today I couldn't do a bow and arrow. I can't. My hand is too guerrilly. Yeah. So instead I go for an arm bar. Okay. He's like, why don't you do that? I could do it, but I got to do a

Puerto Rican bow and arrow. I got to just grab over here and do it this way. My hands and my wrist are fucked up. Yeah. I try to work on my wrist. But I, you know, it's the same thing. You want to try something new. Every time I go on stage, I've got to take a chance. If I write something tonight, next time I go on stage, I'll have three things to say. If I could use one of them, I'm good.

Same thing with whatever. You know what? I've been working on my knees. He's a wrestler. I'm going to try to bait him and make him go for a thing, and I'm going to pop my knee up. Every little weapon you could add. But for years, I didn't see fighters do that, and sure enough. It's like comedians to just do the same jokes over and over.

I can't deal with that shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's, yeah. M. May fighters, their shit works at the gym with gym guys who you know. Yeah, that works for you there, but your shit has to work on a high level. On the high level.

What are you doing? You gotta develop your kill shit, and it's got to be get better and better and better and better. It's weird because right now, I shot a special in October, and I probably got 10 new minutes. I probably got about 20 of scattered shit that I really haven't really put focus on.

But anywhere I'll go, I'll come up with something new. you got it's like the Beatles when you go see the Beatles you don't want to hear that new shit no you want to hear I want to hear hey hey hey so you have like two classics you mix in there you take one out you throw the new one in

it's just been rough lately because I'm trying to write any fucking things at once but I can't wait for those five weeks I'm just going to do what I did last year go out four nights a week to dumps with a tape recorder with my man Lee and you get one fucking Gem a night yeah just one

gem a night yeah you know and even if you go back yeah there you go it's like me taking you through a smoker and i go just work the jab tonight yeah it doesn't really matter what nobody's here yeah nobody here just work that yeah like accomplished something have accomplished something yeah i always do that people gonna do some same jokes because they don't want to look bad up yeah that's on the way man that's like people who don't who we'll just play a very safe game because they don't want to tap out in jujitsu you got to take chances and find out in the gym what's right and what's wrong if you or else You're going to need, you're going to, sometimes you're going to have to make that, like, in a fight, make that chaos for the sake of chaos and make an opening.

So you have to take chances in practice, too. But I'm sure you roll guys who just stay really safe. They're too egotistical and they just don't want to give anything up. You know what I mean? That pull on me, when I clap your hand and you pull guard on me, I let you pull on me and pull on me. My base, I'll let you pull on me for two hours. Yeah. And every two seconds, I just pull this little like that.

Oh, you are one of those Oh, yeah. But as a white belt, yeah. No, I'm a blue belt, but I'm actually... Yo, you're a blue belt now. Why you say you suck so bad? You can't suck that bad with a... I can't move like you two guys.

I can't move like... Alberto Crane Bluebelt. But the whole time I'm going for this one, I'm going to put this on my leg, and I'm going to drop my hand and pick your fucking ass up and pressure patch. She was playing a nice heavy game.

Yes. I like that. That's it. I can't put the pressure. What the fuck do you want me to do? For years, I would try to do what... Mickey did, and then I watch. Yeah, you got to do it for you for sure.

Gracey. Brow? What's the guy's from North Ridge, B.J., he's the heavyweight. Barrow. Like the baddest motherfucker and like 220 and more. Oh. Go to North Ridge. You're talking.

No, North Ridge, Gracie Baja. And then put on. Verse Gracie? Watch, I'll tell you his name. North Ridge, Gracie, Baja. And then we'll put the video. on that I learned jujitsu from. Because for years, if I wasn't going

to be Mickey Gall, I'm not going back to Jiu-Jitsu. But then I watch this animal against Roger Gracie, this guy don't do, this guy mounts you, and it's a slow death. So what am I searching for? Is it Bucce? No. What's the guy? Northridge, Gracie,

Baja. Right. Look at the instructor's name. Okay, gotcha. Let's see. We're just going to their website, sorry. Yeah, that's what we were hoping you were going for. the website, my friends. I didn't know if you were looking for videos on YouTube. No, no, no, no. What's the owner's name?

I'm looking right now. And he fought... Who's the... Hodger Gracie? Hodger Gracie, yeah. And he's the kind of guy that it takes... Baral?

Romulo... Romulo Barrel? Okay. When he fought... See if you find Romulo Barrel... Is it a key match? Watch against Gracie, against Roger Gracie.

I'm asking you. It was a game match? Okay, cool. You got to see. this. Yeah. First time I watched that, I said, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

I'm going in there trying to be a fucking break dancer. Yeah. I'm 54. These pros, they don't fucking do much. No. It's a slight...

Let the other guy make a mistake. Let him feed him something and take it. Yeah. So I let him pull on me. Slow burn. And pretty soon I hear... Yeah. The whole time I got my hand on their belt

and I'm sticking my fucking hand in so you can't breathe. So you can't breathe. I don't want you to breathe. I don't want you to breathe. I won't be able to breathe. And you come away? And once I cast that leg, I knee slice a little bit, and I switch real quick, and I got them in a four point.

Was it an 09? And I'll sit there. Yeah, and I'll sit there until my ass grows roots. And again, I'll let you huff and puff and try the hip escape. I'll go to fucking 1 o'clock on my side control, and I'll hold on to your hips. That fucking hip in your neck, you're in no danger. Look at it. They didn't, these guys didn't karate chop each other.

This is a slow finger in the ass. Speed it up, my brother. How far? Roger Gracie versus Romulo, Romulo Beryl. Minute, two minutes? Yeah, right there. You just study right from there. Yeah, that was an insane.

Look at these guys. They're not flying through the fucking air. No. No, that's high-level shit. No, that, those are the fantasy cameras. I love all this. People who loved all the flying. I can't.

If you want to, bro, if you go down to, what's his name? Simple shit works. He's tremendous. That's one of my all-time favorites, but I can't do what he does. We were going to go to Crone School. Chrome Gracie's wall here. Where's yours? Mine is right down the corner.

But Cabrinha is on Wosha. Kron is on Culver City. Yeah, that's right near where Bill lives. I heard that's a great fucking place. Yeah, I love Crow. You know, he's got killers in there. I'm an old man. You've got killers in there.

I need to fucking get fucked up by blue belts and purple belts. That's it. Everybody else fucks me up. But look at this. This isn't, look how he grabs his fucking thing. Everything's very fundamental. Yeah. Slight adjustments.

That Barow's not killing himself on the bottom. You know, this is the type of game. When I watch this, I go, oh, I get it now. I'm not supposed to be Tarzan. No. I'm 50 fucking four. You got to wait for either Mickey to make a move, and then I'll make a little inch.

Yeah. And that's how you learned you together. But this, this also helps me with comedy. You follow me. This style. Give him a slow burn. Yeah, this style of jujitsu is what works for a fat fuck like me. Look at the guy in the bottom.

He ain't even breathing heavy. He does this every day for breakfast. Yeah. Yeah, this is the shit I watch. Look, and now we got a little, yeah, boom, boom. Yeah. This is beautiful shit. Yeah, I'm glad he turned me on to this.

This is the shit I watch when I get high at night and I come all over myself. I go, look at this. I wish I started this game at 20. Fuck. I wish I could do something like this in the competition. Even as a blue belt. I wish I could do it. Do you plan on competing ever?

No. He wants to do one. He's going to do it. Yeah, you have to do one. You're right. They're fun. I have my anxiety level. We have some stuff prepared for you when you come back to Jersey.

Yeah, some jiu-jitsu. You have some jiu-jitsu. Okay. We have it ready for you. Five-minute jiu-jitsu? Fat-man J-Jurz. That's what you called it. We'll do some half-garde shit.

There's some getting up from the bottom. I'm having a hard time. Tell me what you, yeah. I'm having a hard time pulling the guy into my guard, especially into like make him believe I'm going to pull him into my guard. But then I shot my leg across. Okay. And I got him a half guard. And I start working deep half right from there.

Okay. twist and keep my arm because I can't do the and I'm not getting bad I'm getting better with the yes he's gonna get better with the Ezekia oh I'm getting better with the Ezekia yeah you know what I'm getting better with that through butter yeah you know I don't have much to offer but look at these guys you see these guys flying through the air

his LA he goes sniff my ass if you want to sniff that muffler if you want to that's that that's that Hickson style man at pressure yeah he does this for fucking 18 minutes guys I was going to do these matches have no time limit No, 15 minutes, I think. But to do this for 15 minutes, I'd have 10 heart attacks. I have to take 10 baby aspirins.

I would love to go to Ramalabaral school, but I would shit my pants, just walk under the door. It's a big guy's school. I heard it's a big guy's school, but they're 240 shredded big. You know what I'm saying? Those type of guerrillas. I can't deal with that. They'll give me your fucking kill me.

Look at this. The position is just so slight alterations. I bet someone who doesn't do jiu-jitsu. couldn't really notice the differences of what's happening. I don't even know what the fuck's really going on. I'm just playing it by here, but I see how he's grabbing his collar. He's trying to just stack what you're saying. He's trying to stack him.

But he's just chilling on the bottom. You're saying real relax. Really amazing stuff. This is how I got into it. This is why I wanted to give him to try. I would watch Eddie's tapes, and then I would watch Marcelo Garcia. And every time I met somebody, I would go home and look him up on YouTube after I'd see him on a fight. And I'd become amazing.

I can never do this shit. I never even wrestled in high school. I'm not trying to speak badly about this, but after seeing some of EBI, it's amazing to see the difference to see how entertaining, even like there is a difference between this and what EBI is now.

Yeah, it's a bit, it's more of a chess game a little bit, rather than athletic. And EBI moves. Oh, it's great. Yeah, that Nogi, too. And it's just a mission. So people are playing legs, a time. Yeah, no, no, that shit moves too quick.

I don't even know what the fuck they're doing. They're going for their feet and shit. You know what? I don't like people going for my... I do stand-up comedy. I got a fungi to talk. You don't want to fucking go there. You know what I'm saying? You got to drive feet. You grab this fungi toe. You grab that fungi.

You're going to pay, bitch. Yeah, that's like fucking Iranian spit. That'll stick on you. You can't fucking get that off for the Warrows. Liggers are Iranian fans. You can turn this off before we get sued. I got a funny story I was telling the other day

to Bert he liked it so when I was in we were in Denver like for the UFC fights in January with uh... Saroni fought Zorani fought Mazvedal Right right right right The last night we were there I got in a bar fight

I haven't been in one since like college And it was like I don't I don't do like I'm not out there looking for trouble shit I was uh So I go to this I go to this bar with Dan Henderson Uh Pat Berry and Rosenhammed

Junis and like Dustin Jacobi like a bunch of badasses and we were we were downstairs and I was drinking a little bit but and people just standing around and you're like excuse me excuse me trying walk so I guess I was a little drunk so I probably pushed through a little bit and I went to turn around to be like oh my bad and two guys are squared up with me two guys squared up like I turn around and they're both in like fighting sand but I was like oh shit it's about to happen so I hit the one guy and then I find out the next day the other guy must have cracked me and head because I felt like the bump. I didn't feel it or anything there.

So I dropped the one guy and then next thing I know I'm on top of the other guy and he's kind of holding me in a guillotine. And I'm like, yo, no one in the world is going to guillotine me, especially not this motherfucker in this Denver bar, right? So I'm waiting. I'm like about to burst out. I'm like, oh, I'm going to get this kid in a second. I'm going to start dropping elbows on him.

Security grabs me. Like, Mickey, Mickey stop. So I was immediately like embarrassed. Like, damn, they knew who I, they know who I am. And I'm like, damn, I'm going to see this on, like, on Twitter. Twitter or something tomorrow. So then the security's like, yo, you got to go. You're on top of them.

You got to leave. So next morning, I get a text. So we end up going back catching an Uber. Next morning, I get a text from Pat Barry. He's like, yo, are you all right? Everything good? I was like, oh, he must have seen me, you know, like scuffling and got, get out of there. He's like, the guy who shot up the club was right in front of our van.

So I didn't even know about this because we got out of there. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because after I got kicked out of the club, someone shot that place up. And crazy? And then when we're standing outside, these like four like, these four kids come up and me and him are kind of just standing there.

We're a little drunk, we're a little mad. Where was this bar? I don't know. It was in Denver. But then we're standing outside and these kids come up to us and they start looking at us and they're like,

yo, we're with our dads. If you heard our dads, we're going to kill you. We're just standing there. Like, stand on the side. Like, what? Like just standing there. They started getting aggressive with us.

So me and him were like, start taking our jackets off like I'm gonna smack your dad we started they didn't do it they did they walked on but like we're just standing there they started like talking shit to us Bill he's all mush mouth

he's all drunk South Jersey wild Bill's coming out he started taking his jacket off like yeah fucking wild people no let me ask you this to people pick fights you yet on not really I mean

I remember the last fight I got into in Rutgers I think I was standing in a bar and I started feeling to poke at like my lower back And there's a crowded bar. I'm like, I had someone's, you know, people are just swaying. You know how the bars move. And then I feel really, feel real push.

And so I turn around and there's this kid just standing there glaring at me like, yo, he's drunk as shit. He's like, yo, I'm going to fuck you up. And I was like, what? I never met you. He's just standing behind me. But I'm like, what did you say? He's like, yo, I'm going to fuck you up.

I was like, I was like, all right, you want to go outside? He's like, yeah. And then as I started to step, like, to walk out, he starts to, like, square up. And I drop an elbow right on him. I elbowed this kid in his face so fucking hard He went down And then my friends who were a bounce with ball Like Mickey come outside

Come outside real quick So then 10 minutes later They're taking this kid out With bloody mouth Over over two people's shoulders Those were the last two fights I don't go out there looking for fights I'd get my fights in in the gym

I'm not trying to you know But you know shit happens sometimes You gotta No I can't like To me or you it's gonna be you I could see you going like a wild crazy jersey ball and you know as soon as a guy like you

a guy like you walks into a bar and it spreads like wildfire yeah and there's always that one guy that's like fuck him yeah in front of his three little fucking stupid bitches you know fuck him I was a purple belt and jujitsu blah blah blah blah blah

or one of those guys that beat you in a contest early like when you were a blue belt he got you with an arm bar or some shit nah smack him there's always I was gonna say karate or something and they'll come over and try to I always thought that there's once a month

At least you run into somebody who's coming Hey man You're UFC man Let me tell you some I eat UFC dudes for breakfast You know Yeah I got a lot of heart

If they let me in there man You know it's like Oh okay Yo I hate watching with I hate watching fights with like For lack of better word Like civilians They'll be like

Dude why is he not just elbowing them If I was in there I fucking hit him with the elbow And then I you know And my dad will do that sometimes. I'm like, yo, dad, come on. Your dad's a chiropractor, right? Yeah, he's a chiropractic. No shit. George Chiropractic in New Jersey.

Damn. Greenbrook. And he does all the fucking electrodes. Yeah, yeah, it cracks me up. Especially getting our necks pulled on in Jiu-Jitsu. I went the other day. I went on Tuesday. Yeah. Good shit. I go to this place back for

something. That's a great deal. What they give me? And I stick with it. You know, I try to go. It's good for you. I go for Pilates and an adjustment. Yeah. Sometimes I go for massage on the adjustment. A massage are great.

During fight camp, I do that way two times a week. You have to. I don't go every week. I'm not Johnny Lamar. I do it twice a week. I spend $240 a week. No shit. But yeah, but it helps me.

Keeps me on the mask. It lets me train hard as heck. She told me that if I kept my insurance, she would charge me the same if I wouldn't charge my insurance. I said, done. And it's fucking cheap. I was like, fuck it. So I either take, like, I didn't go for three weeks.

You know, I was on the road and shit, which after you fly, you should go see your chiropractor the next fucking day. Yeah. There's just you and open up your shit. I like an, I'm an acupuncture guy, 11 years with the same acupuncture chick. Yeah, I've heard you talk about it before. I never had that before. Yeah, you got to add that. You got Chinatown close to your house.

That's a train ride, a half a dube. Yeah. You go into Chinatown. There's some crazy Chinese guy who'll give you some herbs and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Crack you up. some needles, yeah.

And you know what, man, the more you take care of yourself, the better off you are later on. Yes, yeah. I truly believe that how you look, you know, when I was growing up, if you were over 50, you just didn't work out. You just didn't work out. Your bodies are shutting itself down.

No, now when we live in a different civilization where people are fucking out there. You know, look at this lady from the Boston Marathon. You read that in 19, whatever, she was the first lady to run in the Boston Marathon. And they showed a picture her the men ripping her number off her and pushing her and shit They you know they tried to jack it Yeah the guy in the suit was trying to push her off the track Yeah the guy in the suit was trying to push her off the track

She just ran the Boston Marathon 70 years old and came in 25 percentile You know what that does for you like you have to sit there and go you know what? I'm gonna try and I'll tell you it it's got to be hell on her body Dude if you could if you could run 26.2 miles that's what the Boston Marathon is Yeah that's what the Marathon is yeah that's what a marathon is. Yeah that's what a marathon is 25th percentile is great, but just doing it in any percentile is amazing.

I can't imagine. Like just to run the 26 miles. You're absolutely right. They have people in wheelchairs doing it. I couldn't fucking tricycle 26 months. You know what I'm saying? Like reef it up for the fucking bicycle. It's not like a track.

Like did you ever have like a track in like football when you're running laps? They have like this thing called Heartbreak Hill. It sounds like a North Bergen Hill. and it's it's I can't imagine doing it it's crazy like running up that fucking hill I'd like the 11th mile

I don't know You do any road work? I do Especially in camp I do I do like a treadmill I'll do a five minute round But constantly

Increasing the speed So a bo bo bo bo bobobobobobobobobobo Increase the speed Boo booo boost the incline So I'm finishing my round strong By the end I'm sprinting Sprint is straight uphill The treadmill's jack to the end

Then I get off I'll rest a minute And I'll just sit outside Breathe catch my breath And then I set the treadmill back down to like Like five, six And then once I start every You know 15 30 seconds

Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo harder So I'm conditioned myself to finish strong Finish even faster than I start No Rocky running on the streets A little bit A little bit You got potholes and shit man Can't twist an ankle

Can't afford to Come back Yeah Mickey where you going We got a nice sausage and peppers Yeah Yeah I'll go down in Greenbrook middle school run the track a little bit.

Yeah. You gotta be careful. I see. I got a yeah, smooth shit. I've, I've ran in grass because it's like nice, soft. And I've busted my ass, fall, fall on my face. Like an idiot. And that's not yet as bad as if I were to like fuck up my ankle, you know. I think the most I ever ran, when I got out of the halfway house, I got into running and swimming. Yeah. I became like a master's swimming program. She would encourage me to run. So I got the sneakers. I got the whole fucking thing. And I would run Boulder Creek,

but it was concrete, man. I could feel it, you know, and I got presidus. It's not good for you. Yeah, it's not good for your knees. Yeah, and I was like that. Concrete sucked. Don't run on concrete.

Who the fuck knows when you're 29? They can tell you don't run out of better nails. It's the first fucking thing you're going to do is run on the better nails. You know, you think you're invincible. Yeah. And I got that fascist, Pilateus, where you're fucking healed.

They got a... Plentious fashionists? That's the one. They got a fucking. They got a fucking. They got to shoot a thing of cortisol into the bubble. Oh, I turn. in green the first time. No Buono.

I got the orthotics still. I got these other orthotics and these new whatever, what do you call them, new B, NB? New Balance. New Balance? Which are fucking tremendous. Oh, I love the balance. That's working good for you. My Pops has got that. He went to the chiropractor recently got a few things. Crack.

Yeah, no, no, no, tremendous. Oh, I guess that crack. You go to fucking the whatever store and they have a really great one. They measure you, you put your weight. The guy was from New York and Columbus. Ohio. He had a warrant in the Bronx. So he moved to Columbus. He was selling shoes under cover

with an alias. He came to my going to move now. He came to my comedy show that night and he broke it down, man. The wife didn't want me to come. I got warrants in New York. I stabbed the dude. Holy shit. I changed my name. I'm over here selling sneakers like a fucking mook. But he was a good dude. He was a good dude. He was a good dude.

Oh my goodness. So that's it That's that So Mickey How does An up-and-coming fighter Like you survive In between fights financially

Like how do like sponsorships work Now If you're If you're lucky enough You can make some money on sponsorships You know some people You get like a monthly stipend Or you do different things

To make appearances here or there Like the other week I went to a bar Me and Jim Miller We like Did like meet and greets Made some money you know you get the chunk of your

earnings is it fights so if you're not fighting you're not making money and even then I'm blanking on the names right now even the main card some of the fighters on the last fox card got like eight to show

like $8,000 that's low and yeah but that yeah it just seemed like and then I don't know I didn't do the research but some people had to show and a win bonus

and it looked like Demetrius just had like a show. A flat, a flat. Some people do that. Some people have certain things worked out, especially like more veteran guys. It's like a, it'll be like a flat rate, win or lose. They're making, like Demetrius what do you make? 500,000. I think it was closer to four or something. Okay. Yeah, some like

that. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tough racket, man. You live with your parents? No, not anymore. Yeah, and they're split now. That's why I remember. No, that's all good. They've been split. It's all old news. Yeah, I have the two baby sisters.

Remember? We talked about before the two, the two-year-old, the 20 and 22 years younger than me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're awesome. Look, he's the old monkeys. Yeah, we're on a spot out in Lebanon. No, he's out in Culver City out here.

But we're figuring something out. Wow, Bill's in California. So what are you going to Jiu-Jitsu Wild Bill? Well, I was home in Jersey doing a bunch of filming, so I was at Gracie for a while. Yeah, my school. I went to Crohn's. a couple times.

I used to go to have fun. You got, you got him back into it. Like, he was getting soft out here, man. And then you, when you gave him, I don't know if you even remember.

Yeah, and you gave him the speech and he, yo, he's like, yo, I'm motivated. And now he's been back.

You got to do something. Training with the killers, man, he's doing my practices some days. Yeah, you got to do something. I come right after Mickey. I'll be like,

let's go. Fuck me up. Oh, that's the great. When you go up to somebody and go fuck me up. I love telling him, brown but just fucked me up yeah do it quickly and sometimes you last you know you get a sleeve

it's good for you man you get that you always learning some brown belt yoke me today yeah but i crawl under him i did some shit and then he got me with the choke but at least i lasted to the bell rank yeah so for me you know what i lasted usually i had a tap out because i was tired i protected myself i kept him that's what is man good you know i caught his arm he when you try especially when you train with someone better, more experience than you, don't give them shit. You should be like, you know what I mean? Like take a little chance, but then, you know, don't, everything you earn,

make them take it away. Take your time. Like, if you've got a good position, chill on it, hold it. You know what I mean? No, once I pass a guard, I got to hold it for two minutes. Good, take your breathe, just, oh yeah, take the breath. I get on my tippy toes. I sit in their ear.

So they can't fucking breathe. I know all those dirty tricks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you take away their oxygen, you know, 300 pounds on your stomach. Yeah. fucking rough. I don't knee on belly people.

Okay. Because I can hurt son. See, I learned neon belly from me. Yeah, you'd have to be easy. And I've done it a couple times and I've heard people going, so I'm like, no. It's nice to know you could do that though. If you ever get down the streets. If I pull your sleeve, if I grab the collar

and get that knee on belly and get that foot sideways, I'll pop your fucking rib by mistake. And you're my gumba. I don't want to do that to you. Yeah, yeah. The last thing I don't know, belly nobody. Sometimes I'll tell you, I go, listen, I'm going to transition to a neon belly. I'm just going to do it real fast.

Let me just see if I can do the movement to drill it. You'll keep your toes on the ground. Yeah, and I'll do that. Jesus, Joey, that neon belly is the real deal. Nice. You got to do something with your fucking time, man. Now I'm happy that everything's te-tate, you're waiting for a fight.

There's going to be a bunch of cards. This is about in the summer. Yeah. So you're going to have some fun. Fuck, yeah. I heard some people. So after Dallas, what do they got? After Dallas, you got to have the Memorial Day card. That's what, 211?

Yeah, 211. No, 512. May 12. Yeah, no, 2.11, though, is the card. Okay. I believe, or 212, I can't remember, man. And then you have the end of May, and then you're going to have the 4th of July. Yeah, there's a May 13th. There's a card.

The big one in Dallas. Yes, that's the one. Yes. Yeah, man. There's a car. That's the UFC right now? There's not a lack of talent. talent

cards like you turn on and there's one last weekend there's the one the weekend before there's one this weekend

you know there's a lot this weekend the main event is Artem Lobov versus Cubs Swanson okay that's right that's right

there's some nice yeah there's some good fights on there some fun fights last week's was fun week before you had D.C. Rumble I went to Buffalo

I didn't stay for the fight really yeah I just did the show and came back yeah that Wyman's It was crazy. You saw that? I saw it.

Shit happens. You know, the referee made a mistake. Yes. I love Murgliata, too. Wyden said something in that corner that made that doctor. They asked him a month. It was February. Apparently.

Right. So, yeah, if you say February, you've been training for it. It's on your fucking count. You know, you know when you fight you thought. Yeah. Something wasn't right. Yeah. You know, I feel bad for Wydman.

Me too. You know, I do. I think after even Masazi, but you don't want to win like that. No, I think Wyden will come back stronger. Sure. You know, this is, listen, it's not a, it's longevity and comedy and this. You know, it's like, I always fucking say this. I did not know till recently that the average time of running back last and the NFL is three years.

You have three years. that's the that's the fucking take a beating that's a three year beating that you could either you get hurt you're done you pull a hamstring you fuck up a knee

then that's it you know it's really tough to come back from that for you like a good neat fucking accident ACL eight month a year recovery

you're not coming back though by that time they got three new fucking rookies in your slot that are faster and meaner than you are just the way reality is you know

yeah but with the UFC you gotta figure out what the longevity is, how long you want to do it, what you want to attain from it, and how long do you want to do with it, you know? Right now, dude, I'm just obsessed. Like the little this little, a bit of success I've had the past

year, it's made me like a lot hungrier. It's made me, you know, just, I can't get enough. I can't get enough at the gym. I'm having fun. I, seeing my shit just get sharper and sharper. It's fun for me. I'm very passionate about that, right? That's all I want to do is fight, win fights, beat people up. I mean, you should be

so excited about the future because you're 10 years away from your prime. Yeah, I don't know. I know. What you're going to learn in 10 years and how much MMA is going to evolve? Yeah. It's going to blow everybody's wig off at this table, you know. MMA's going to evolve.

You're going to evolve. Yeah. I'm excited to see what happens, you know, with flying psychics coming to the game. Dude, yeah, there's always a new evolution. You know, always a new evolution, you know, and people are going to be training differently. And pretty soon people are going to be doing jih Tijuana with Gats. mask on.

Yeah. Because, you know, you never fucking know. You know, every month somebody, I love those, I love those, I love those UFC countdowns. And there's always one new strength and conditioning guy. Yeah. On every episode, we turn to this guy now for his assistants, he's worked with former Green Bay Packers and shit. And he's got your hammering and jumping up and down backwards. Then you go in there and get knocked up.

You know what I'm saying? Like, it's always, I like the guys that are with the same. same people. Yeah. You got to, yeah. I like the guys that when they do get knocked out three times, they don't go to a different camp. You can't go to a different camp. It's something you're doing.

You're not listening to your corner. You know, these are the things that are ego gets in the way. Sure. You know, that's why I've never really given the fuck about ego. There's always room for improvement. People are always going to criticize you. Yeah. You're not going to think they know better.

Tell you what you did right. You're not going to make everybody happy. You're never going to please everybody. You could fight 10 fights, knock everybody out in the first round, and there's always going to be that writer that's going to throw a doubt in there. Well, he's never been pushed to the second round, bitch, because I knock everybody out in the first round. I love, you know, I told Rogan a couple weeks ago,

how one of the main reasons I got into Jiu-Zitsu was, because, yeah, I studied karate as a kid, and I went to competitions and shit. But I wanted to know what you guys went through in a way. like I wanted to not so I knew what I was told you know how many fucking December 31 cards I've been to a bunch and that's the different audience that's the real those are the people that drink Starbucks they go to December 31st okay you can't there because it's cute and it's yeah that's why you

can't have a Brazilian on the main card yeah you gotta have two white people on the main card for fucking the New Year's card because it's completely different they go to fights for different ways and I've told Joe because Joe usually announcing them, but I'm in the audience. That's the only card that they won't give us seats behind Joe. The seats are so expensive that they give us. They want that money.

In the first, whatever, which is still great seats. I'm very fortunate to get out. I'm not complaining. But we would sit behind couples. Like four people, two of them both had fake tits. The two husbands both had designer jeans, designer haircuts, designer shirts, but the one guy was a blue belt. Oh, shit.

Okay. How do you know? Because he would say it. Well, you hear him talking? They would all. Like he's the master? Yeah, like he's the man. Right now, he's going to get him in a Camora.

I got my training partner in a Camaro one time, and the girls would be, oh, my God. He does jih Tzu. He's so excited. And the one guy will be Bill, you're such a badass. You know? You're a savage. Oh, my God. You're such a badass.

You train with these guys? Well, not really those guys, but guys just like them. My instructor was in the Olympics. He was an all. You know, and you listen to these jerk-offs. I do UFC. Yeah, so I didn't want to, you know, like I said this a thousand times, nothing bothers me when a sports writer of any kind criticizes a professional athlete with like a knock.

If you are not hitting home runs, you're not hitting home runs. But if you're hitting 56 home runs, there's that one sports writer that always go, well, he's a terrible single hitter. Yeah. Or he's number two in strikeouts, bitch. He's got 64 home runs. To hit 64 home runs, you've got to strike out a couple times. You're going for deep fucking bombs. You know what I'm saying?

People always find that one fucking knock, and it drives me crazy. I see it on Facebook all the time. When a new special gets released, somebody always has a knock on somebody in there. I watched the Amy Schumer saying, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. What the fuck do you know what we go through? Do you know what the fuck do you know what happens to somebody like, Amy Schumer when you have 22

offers in your head and you're trying to write a joke, you know, it's a complete different game. That's what happens with champions. You know, you're doing 22 fucking interviews a week. You're training, you got six chicks sucking your dick. You're eating spaghetti instead of the quinole. What's that shit

they make, Eek, quino? Ki-wa. You're eating spaghetti with meatballs. Instead of quino, whatever fucking. So, and then you wonder why you got knocked out. I like it that way better. Yeah, then you wonder why he got knocked out because your obligations go somewhere else.

No, you've got to be focused. It's tough for me to do a thousand things and really, really, really sit down and write what's in my heart. And you can fake the funk. I like when these fighters go back to doing this. Well, I'm going back to my old train. You know, I got knocked out six times in a row.

I'm going to go through my first coach now. You know, that right there shows your indecisiveness. To weak. And I've seen it with comics. They lose a show. They fire everybody. right in my head I go that guy's done because he's not accepting the blame

he's blaming on the people around Yeah it's like an excuse There's only one motherfucking fighter That could blame the manager And that's Ronda Rousey's manager She's the only one that could really go You know what? You really fucking suck I think he's the only one

That all the sports writers could really I listened to his audio From the last fight I'm talking about Edmond The Ronda Rousey I'm very embarrassed for him and he might be a nice guy you know I don't know what he's like in his real life

but I felt really embarrassed for him after you ever hear that audio? I did yeah no no do you ever hear it? No no no I heard it it was something shocking like can you find that Lee on YouTube or something how do you spell his last name Rhonda Rhonda Edward

oh yeah yeah Edward fucking T-A-R T-A-R T-R Tarra. There we go, Taran. It'll say it right on there. Yeah, put like all the...

Yeah, there you go. Begging, Ron Razi to move her head? Yeah, that's it. Okay. It's fucking terrible. This is a coach-shouting instruction for the people listening during a fight. During the fight against Amanda Nunes, right?

Yeah. She's getting punched in the head right now. Hey, new men. Hey, you get the crowd. Head, new men. Yes, move. Hands up! She's getting punched me

ahead a thousand times. You can hear it in his voice. Please. What percentage do coaches get? Like she's being murdered. He was watching a car accident. That's really fucking sad. It probably felt like an eternity to him.

I know I've been to the hospital three times in the past year for my training party, guys who I've been in the corner for. It's like a shocking thing to see. I've seen a couple of my buddies that get knocked out. And that shit's like, that's my... My boys, I blow it so in tears with these guys. Then he watched their dreams get crushed and their body get shut off. It's a wild, man. I was there for GSP, John Fitch.

Yeah. And I'll never forget standing there and seeing John Fitch get taken into a fucking ambulance. I wanted to cry for him. You know, he fought GSP like a fucking soldier. But he needed stitches and shit. I can't imagine. You break my nose. I'm done fighting.

Oh my God. I'm done. I ain't fighting you anymore. You just woke Mickey up. You break Mickey's nose. You just woke me up. Now you get bad shit. That's it.

I tap out. Listen, I can't breathe. My nose is crooked. It looks like call me his nose. I'm done. I'm not doing this. These guys come out with a broken nose. Fucked up eye sockets.

The taste of blood in your mouth. If I got to fight you. That's my superpower is coming out now. Oh, my God. What's the most painful between like a leg kick? Like one of those leg kicks, like a punch to the face. like an elbow like what's the most

pain or is it's all gone to adrenaline I mean yeah in the fight I haven't felt pain really but in practice I mean

some worse stuff is like if you get like like the glove in the eye getting poking the eye and kicking the nuts I mean the shit that's illegal that stuff hurts

um leg kicks if you condition your leg right they shouldn't hurt too bad I'll tell you it looks like it hurts I need of the head from your Romero yeah yeah that shit's gonna fuck

and her. I don't ever want, I don't, I don't need to ever know that. A fucking liver kick from fucking Barboza. No, all Barboza.

What's the big black guy? A liver kick, Brock Leicester. Alistair Overeux. Alastor Overein. Like one of those liver kicks. You don't ever want to feel that shit. You know, I remember getting in karate one time

of the tournament, getting the air knocked out of me. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever fucking experience in my life. I thought it was going to die. I was just a young kid. I've been there. He kicked me in the fucking stomach

with everything he had. He got to squirt. qualified and I won, yeah. But Jesus Christ, I started crying, I couldn't fucking breathe. I'm not cut out for that shit, getting hit in the head with bottles and shit. That was never my bag.

That's a different type of Jersey breed. There's a certain Jersey breed. That's not a buddy of mine. Vinnie Lynch got rest of soap. I seen him in Philadelphia. Get hit in the head with a fucking Johnny Walker black bottle. And he didn't even flinch. He didn't even flinch.

Blood was pouring out of his head. He didn't even know. That shit has always freaked me to fuck out. There's guys you could stab him. I had a friend in high school, George Mum from Jersey City. I saw him the night we were supposed to graduate. He was one of those kids that would only go to school during football season. Jersey has those guys.

They just come to school during football season. I'm coming to play a ball. And once football season ends, they drop out. And then they come back to next year. To do nothing. To lift wage and drink beer. Georgie Mum was at dick and stuff. in high school and he transferred to North Bergen and he wouldn't go to practice and one day the

coaches went to his house and he told the coaches listen I don't know if you know this I don't practice and they're like what are you talking about come again like I don't practice just put me in a fucking cage and let me out on Saturdays the coaches didn't know what to do but that's what he did he coming on Saturday and just kill people on the field well I'll tell you what the last time I saw Georgie Mum he got hit by a car Jersey City and he flew off a cliff. He's out with the stitches in his head.

He took the bandage off and he had a ghetto blaster. And it was like nothing had happened. He had gotten like 30 stitches on the side of his head. And you thought nothing had happened in his life. I always tend to look for Georgie Mum on Facebook. There's not a Georgie Mum alive. There's people that are just fucking tough, man, that you could hit and head. That was not my game.

I don't know. I don't mind getting punched in the face. That's okay. That weighs you up a little bit. But once you loosen one of my teeth or you fuck up my nose, that's a different territory. Or you submit me and it's a submission where your ass is in my face. I'll fuck you up later. I'm getting you back.

I'll fuck you up later. Revenge is coming. I'll tap. I'll give you a hug. Like the karate hot. Like the karate got beat up the other day. She's giving hugs and shit. That was a great fight.

I don't trust the karate hottie. That chick is at home doing Chinese voodoo. right now those Chinese people you fuck with them they're making a comeback that's why I don't eat Vietnamese food we bombed them for 10 years you think they're gonna fucking make your good dinner they're planning their revenge little by little

they put cancer salt in it they put a little cancer salt in MSG you don't you think Japan's doing the same with that sushi they give us radio ice sushi we blew them fucking island up didn't we we we fucked them up You think they're just going to forget about that shit?

There's Japanese people with four eyes. You think they're going to fucking forget about fucking that happened? No. No. Everybody, hey, the bitch always comes back, dog. So that's why you got to be careful. Who's the bitch? That's the question.

The bitch always comes back. Oh, my God. Oh, man, listen, I'm going to be excited when they give you a fucking fight here. You're overdue. I'm going to break whoever's next. Break him up good. Do you have anyone who want to call out? No, man, everybody.

Everybody, 70s 55. Everybody's on check. Everyone can guess them. Everybody's on check. Everyone can guess them. I got enough for everyone. Even Demetrius Johnson, put him on check. Bring him a little ass.

You'll drop to 126. A squash him. How good is that fucking dude? Yeah, he's a pound for pound. Yeah, he does everything perfect. I like his coach. I really like this coach. Matt Hume?

If I was a fighter, there'd be a couple people I train with. Who? If I was a fighter I got to say Farras I like Farras I like Farras I like Farras Farras has a great mind

And he's a great strategist Did great work with GSP Just phenomenal work with GSP I respect the guys At T&T my good buddies Yeah I'll be down there Steve Mocko is my brother That's one of the best fucking wrestlers

That's my man yeah You know I love George Mazz Deval I think that place Had too much testosterone I love Duke Rufus. I think Duke Rufus is a great coach. Yeah.

I think his gym doesn't have enough. Like he's, you know what I'm saying? He's more to Pettis. Like it's customized around Pettis, you know. Yeah. I think he's a great kickboxing coach. You know, I love the guys in New Mexico. Yeah.

I love all of them. Jackson Winkle John. I would train, to be honestly, I would train in Denver year round. Yeah. And do my train. You got Dwayne Bang. Yeah. Dwayne Bang.

You have that world class. Team elevation. Yeah. world-class jujitsu plus your cardio would be to a different level yeah and living close to boulder you're probably going to be around the best people for your body that you can be around what does that mean boulder colorado is a fucking healing okay it's a hippie community that now it's very high level and stuff but that essence is still in boulder yeah you know that essence is still in boulder when i lived in boulder how did i find out about my feet if you go to the harvest restaurant

which is a vegetarian restaurant, they had a sign that said Mondays, a doctor comes in from 6 to 9 and does free feed exam if you're feeding. That's all I found out. He gave me a new pair of sneakers. He coached me, whatever. After that, he goes,

I'll get you with a coach to teach how to run properly. The Boulder is made for that. When people really want to excel in health and fitness, a lot of those people go to Boulder. They're really good. Good to know. It's a really interesting interesting place. I would live there. I would go down to the Colorado Olympic training facility.

Yeah. Okay, but I would always switch up my altitude. Yeah. I would always... I felt it out there. Yeah. I would always switch up my altitude. I would go to Denver and do bunkins for six weeks and really stretch your lungs out, really live up there, really, what's that called when your body acclamates, you know, and you have to sleep a lot because you build more red blood cells. You build more cells. So when you move to like, let's say you went to Aspen, the first three weeks, you're going to sleep a lot. Oh, you're going to be stuck in wind.

You're going to be tired. Yeah. You really don't want to work out. You're just going to go for walks. We were like, we were like fucking around, like climbing the steps of the hotel. Yeah. You got to be careful. I can usually go underwater from like there and back.

I could barely get to one side of the water. It's crazy. Are there fighters who will say like, no, I don't want to, fight an elevation maybe later in the lawyer or something? If I'm going to fight an elevation for, yeah, if I'm going to fight an elevation, I'm going to need to go somewhere and fight like emerge myself, somewhere myself in that

elevation. You know what I mean? Because it's going to be a shock. Look at what fucking Kane fought for Doom. For Doom was down there for eight months before that. Drinking water. Testing is fucking acclimating. Yeah. And Kane didn't think about his team didn't want to go down there

but two weeks before. Yeah. Two weeks before we were going to do it. I'm surprised. very surprised, George Mazzdava, did it on six weeks and five weeks. He's a thug, man. He really did it. I love him.

Yeah, he did it on five weeks. The acclamation process, I remember being 19, and moving to Aspen, in the first two weeks, it was basically getting up to eat, watch TV for an hour, and before you know it,

I'd be fucking passed out. Your body has to build those cells to breathe, but after two, three months, then you start running in it. Like the first time I did a, bonk hit and asked when I passed out. Passed out. My friends were like, don't do

that bonk here. I'm like, what are you fucking kidding me? I'm Johnny Bananas. Next thing you know, I woke up, the bong was broken, and I was sideways on the fire escape. That's the, yeah, that's how big of it. And then they have altitude sickness, where if I take you up in the mountain and keep you up

there for a long time and give you booze and marijuana, oh, Lord, you're going to get fucked up and sick. Really? You're going to get sick. Like, that's why. I don't like ski vacations because you're going somewhere for three days that's fucking you up.

Especially if you get up higher. You need a day just to walk around. Just to walk around, sleep. You can't eat a full meal because you need every inch of your fucking lungs. You don't want to eat a full meal. You need every fucking inch of your lungs, motherfucker. Those babies working.

But that's just me. What's working? No, yeah, your lungs. What's up, Lee? Well, uh, uh, uh, uh, fight can't. hard enough as it is as it is to do like two a days and then do it in a place where it feels like breathing through a straw it's rough yeah i don't think i would take you directly and

start two a day's no you got i would take you for two weeks man the word is accliming you gotta and then another two weeks a little jog jiu jitsu real light with a ghee yeah you know maybe some it's into it yeah you got to ease into it drink a lot of fluids maybe an iv from time to time drain some blood, get some new blood cooking and shit. You know, take six ounces out of blood, maybe 16 ounces, get that blood rebuilding. Listen, given blood is great for you. I don't do it enough. If I didn't let, if I wasn't scared of needles, I would change my blood once a month like Keith Richards.

I would go to fucking that place and give them 16 ounces of blood every month. By the end of the year, you'd give them fucking 190 fucking ounces of blood. You're like Dracula. You got all new blood in you that your body made every year. You'll live forever. It just makes sense. That's my opinion. I'm not a fucking doctor.

I just smoke weed and have a good time. Like a doctor. Like a doctor. Let's wrap this up. Don't forget you, cock suckers, 420. Oxnard Levity Live, 8 p.m. show. Friday night, 30, 9.45. Saturday night, 7 o'clock, 9.30.

Get a hold of Oxnard. Go to Improv.com, click on and get your fucking tickets and come up there. Lee will be up there tomorrow and he was dad. We got the nurse coming. We're shooting heroin from fucking Bulgaria. And that's just the way it is. How are you feeling, Dick Sire?

Is the acid hitting you yet? Have we done the... Just a little bit. We just gave you a little taste. No, I'm doing great. Very happy. I was trying to start it before, but I fucked it. I read the wrong information, so I'm very sorry.

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Don't forget Leviny Live this weekend And next weekend I'm at Bakersfield I'm going to stop by Matt Baker's Trujitsu motherfucking school And I'm going to be at the Temblah Brewing Company I love you guys

Stay Black Have a great weekend Don't forget Uncle Joey loves you Thank you guys again For being here Woo woo woo woo