The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #478 - Dean Delray

Episode Date: May 4, 2017

Dean Delray, Comedian, seen in the movie "Long Shots", and the Host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:    Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 05/03/2017.
  

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It's Wednesday, Thursday, whatever the fuck. It don't matter. You're slinging dick. Rain, snow, sleet, fucking hurricanes. The church of what's happening now, baby. Kick that mealy. Every time I see Dean Delo, I think of this song. So this is why,

whenever Dean's on, this song's on, whether you like it or not. This is as good as it gets. Listen to those guitars. There we go. Here we go. Oh, man. Dean's getting all rushed up without the reefer tonight. He's so low.

He went back to N.A. He can't smoke a bonnet. No. He's on the motorcycle. What the fuck? I wouldn't get on the motorcycle at night unless I was smoking refo. That's the only way I can go down that fucking lower canyons with 92 bongets and a fucking, take this, put this, put St. Lazaro on your jacket. That's your lucky fucking charm from now.

I'll take it, man. Greetings to the church, Dean Delray, my little nephew Lee Syatt. We're here, we're queer. It's a whole new fucking week. Thank you for enjoying Steve Renazizi today. We had a good time in studio. But now we got my main man, the music, extraordinary, the comic of fucking the future. Mr. Dean Delray.

fresh from Denver tape on his first fucking CD, vinyl, whatever the fuck you want to get out. Vinyl record on Bongload Records, man. What a perfect name, right? And taped in Denver. Well, the crowd's good, people. Oh, man.

The Wednesday, over 120, 30 people, which I thought, you know, Wednesday. Then Thursday, like 160. Then Friday and Saturday, full. Both shows, completely full. Then a Sunday, like 130 or so. It was awesome, man. It's the Rockies.

It's not the Broncos. You don't want to fucking do a Sunday there. Oh, no. It's a slow debt. Yeah, yeah, right. People who do show up to the fucking show, or people who came from the Bronco game. And if you suck, they'll throw a fucking helmet out you,

they fucking fired up those people. So I'm happy. I'm happy it won well, Dean. Snowstorm. Full-blown snowstorm breaks out. So we get there, and it's like, you know, 70, and we're like, beautiful. And then we wake up, and it's just a fucking,

a foot of snow drugs. How crazy is that? It was crazy. It was freezing out. How crazy is that? That it goes from zero to 60, and you can't explain it to people. Yeah.

Like, you just can't. I saw it one time February 2nd of 1990. I got out of the BCTC, the halfway house. Yeah. Okay, I get out at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Me and my wife at the time, go to eat at this Cajun place that was a house. And it was downstairs and upstairs,

in the yard. Lucille's. Yeah. Cajun place. See if it's still there in Boulder. Lucille's. Oh my God. They used to have a red snapper with two eggs, sunny side up. And Benet's your shit. Oh, man. Are you fucking kidding me? What city in Boulder? Boulder.

I'll never forget that. I went in there. About 1 o'clock. We had the two eggs, the fucking Benates. It's still there? Since 1980. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with Bill? Wow. So we go in there and we get the Let's see.

Whatever. See what the breakfast options are. I was looking at the location. 21, 24, 14th Street. It's like a yellow house? Yeah, there's a house. Yeah, look that. Holy shit.

What about the menu? See what they got for breakfast. Okay. Because they're only open for breakfast and lunch. They're one of those type of places. I like those places. Yeah. At that time.

That's when they're telling you. So you want breakfast? Yeah. Okay, they have an organic egg scramble. I don't think you got that. No. It has tofu and stuff. Has eggs Ponturranean with

trout has blackened salmon there you go egg sardue which is cream spinach and shrimp that actually looks good no no they don't fuck around

a new Orleans preline waffle with pecan batter oh shit eggs Benedict eggs Jennifer which is has spinach and avocado and tomato

eggs New Orleans has fried eggplant and creole sauce holy shit oh that sounds good pan perdue is New Orleans style french toast

and then they have rice pudding, a cheese omelet. They have a big menu. Yeah, yeah. When I was going there, they had like a red snapper, a darkened red snapper with two eggs, potatoes, baynets, toast. Sounds like they replaced that with salmon.

Yeah, salmon, fresh with squeezed orange juice. I mean, I go in there, I eat this big fucking meal. I don't get high. I'm in the halfway house. It's my first day out. You know, it's like whenever you make a change, your body is all worked up for that change. Yep. And her and I went back to the house, and we probably fell asleep, like a 4th or any afternoon, maybe.

And next thing, you know, she was waking me up. Now, when she picked me up that Friday afternoon when I got out, it was 65, beautiful. Sun was out, birds were chirping, not a cloud in the fucking sky. I go in at 4.30. Now, I had a dog dead, and I had Hercules that. So I went to walk him, and it was still beautiful. I went in, fell asleep. She woke me up in two that the water had broken.

I go outside, there's a foot of fucking snow. Fuck. And I'll full-on blizzard. And you're like, okay, it's February. Yeah. But when you see that shit in April and May... It was nuts. It's nuts.

And then you see it in September. Yeah. Colorado always lets you know who's boss in September. Yeah. September lights 15th. They'll dump a foot of snow on you. You're like, Jesus Christ! And then it'll be gone in a day and a half.

It was gone. Gone, gone. It was like it didn't even happen. No. It's like, fuck. it was so weird it was like beautiful like i was there two weeks before with maren so you know 80 wearing a t-shirt the whole time didn't bring anything in my bag so this time i go yeah same thing you know what i mean uh it's gonna be blazing uh just want to bring my podcast gear and a couple shirts

i don't give a fuck and man i step out from the friday night show and it's like this death wind blowing down that fucking 15th street there and just snow just hitting me i'm I was like, oh, what the fuck? And it pumped all day and night. Did you go to that place and eat with the green chili? Sam's? Yeah, but I got a new spot there now. Where?

I go up the street to this joint called, they got five of them in Denver, snooze. And it's like, it's a breakfast joint, but they have this homemade chicken sausage that I got to have every day. They got one in San Diego, too. And then they have a quinoa oatmeal That's just fucking...

Can you believe what I'm listening? Can you believe the insult? He just... Green chili for quinole, fucking oatmeal. I was doing Sam's at night. You know, getting sloppy at night. I go in there. You got to all three.

Dean, this might be your last appearance for like a year and a year. It's a good. I'll fucking oatmeal. I tell you what, though. It is good, man. When I'm in Denver dog, there's only that. That's it.

I only see Sam's. Yeah. Because I know I'll never get that again. anywhere. Yeah. I don't have, even the burgers with the green chili on them and the Swiss cheese with the peppers. They don't fuck around. They got that back bar there.

They got the back bar. They got milkshakes. I got the shirt. I don't even eat any of that stuff. I get the two eggs with bacon and a thing of fucking green chili. My main thing there is the green chili. I got the steak and eggs. That one you told me to get, you know what I mean?

I get the steak and eggs there. I go late night there. Every night after the show, I go there. This isn't food related, but I saw a video you did at Red Rocks. Oh, yeah. And I've never been to Denver. We've talked briefly about Red Rocks on the podcast before. Oh, yeah.

Let's talk about that. But it's like legitimately in, it's like the Grand Canyon. That's why I love driving through that kind of like I just love. But it's like a, it's in that. It just looks so cool. It's my dream to play there, right? So Chappelle's doing it this summer. They did oddball there last year.

But, you know, as a kid, and you know this, Joey, they, you know, you two shoots this this infamous concert there. And as a kid, I was like, wow, did they build that place? Like, what the fuck? is that? Just those two stone walls and then the amphitheater and it's all wood seats

and the view of Denver downtown. So we go out there immediately once the snow hits and to see it all snowed up and it's open all the time with no concert for just hiking around which is so cool you can hike this whole fucking place. You can get

on the stage and sing Bloody Sunday, Bloody Sunday you know, Sunday Bloody Sunday. That's the famous... Was it security at least in the day? No, there's no... It's just like a state park.

And they got a visitor's center. I went into visitor's center. It's so fucking cool. We learned so much about this place. It opened in 1906. It was called like Garden of the Gods. And it had no sound system back then. It was acoustically perfect

to where people could play and they would hear it. And eventually over the years, it got bigger and bigger, you know, to turn it into a full concert venue. the Beatles played there in 1964. I took a picture of the photo. The fans are out there. Boulder loves the Beatles.

They played there on their first run, man. Insane. And here's a crazy thing. In like the 70s, if you look it up, Lee, Wikipedia, like early 70s, Jethro Toll played there. And like a thousand people showed up with no tickets and stormed the joint.

There was like a mini riot. And they banned rock there for years. like years man and then this guy the Denver promoter like uh... worked at 71 worked it to where rock could be there and like 80 or something

I don't know but you too is one of the first ones to go there and play you know but fuck Hendricks played there so there's a secret tunnel uh from the stage underneath that goes up to the soundboard and I guess every rock star is signed the tunnel and there's like Hendricks signatures

beetles door all that stuff like signatures on these wall. I didn't know it went back that far. That's really interesting. I couldn't believe it either, man. I thought it opened like in the 80s. That's how fucking dumb I am. I did too though, because I didn't know about that. I thought it opened up with you two. Me too. I thought they built the thing.

You two. Yeah. I went there a few times. Very interesting, you know, great place to trip and see a concert. I mean, when you go there, you really understand the concept of having four your friends and taking mushrooms or ask that that's what you're into. Totally. And just

walking around there and seeing a concert and seeing the sunset and all that it's fucking really really sharp really it's my favorite place in america you know i only went there like three times but uh i should have gone more i was into different fucking things can you imagine if like five of us did it like say like a rogan me you uh a marron and a burr or something you know and and like Hinchcliffe or somebody, you know, like this like, like two-hour crazy show, man, you know. It'd be great. I'm excited to see what Chappelle does there. Oh, yeah.

I didn't know that Chappelle was there. Yeah, man, it's sold out in like five minutes of something. Is it the show with John Mayer or is that? No, no, it's him. Yeah, it's at him because they sold. But yeah, he's at with Merr right now. What is he doing? Do you know what that show is?

He just does comedy and, you know, and then John Mayer plays, you know, that's cool. That's a different concept. That's like 70s, you know? Like, remember? the comics up. I open for Allison Chains this summer. It's like old school. Back then, comics open for bands. You know? Carlin,

he opened for everybody. It's funny. I never saw a comedian open for all those concerts I went to. I would have remembered. I never saw a comic open. It was all those years. Early 70s is when they did it. Okay, yeah. I started going to concerts in the mid-fucking sounds. Me too, because I never saw it either.

But Bobcat opened for Nirvana for a whole fucking tour on their big tour. No. Yeah, I got the shirt, man. And if you talk to Bobcat, he tells crazy stories like, some were good and some were horrible. You know, it's just him out there back in the Bobcat days, you know, going crazy. And opening for Nirvana on the big tour.

They did the Cow Palace and Sam Fran. Oh, man. What's that seat? 15,000. Oh, my God. Yeah. I just shipped my pants thinking about it. Opening up for a band.

That's a different animal. Oh, it's so hard. Opening up for a comedy show is one thing. But for a fucking concert, you've got to bring it, Jack. Oh, I did it, man. And people look at you're like, why is that roadie up there talking? Yeah, it's crazy. It's a different feel.

And when it goes bad, like he said, it goes bad. And you got TikTok. That's when, you know, time is fucking crazy. You know what time goes long for me at the store or original room? it seems like the set's never going to end. Really? That's why I get off as soon as I get the light at the store. I don't fuck around.

Like, I'm happy to get the fuck out of that. You feel like that, really? Yeah. It's crazy. There's some rooms that just make me... Like, how long am I up here? Yeah, yeah. Where was I recently where it's time is forever?

Yeah. It's for fucking ever. You're like, Jesus Christ. Like the first night at Levy and Oxnard, the guy made a mistake. He gave me a light of an hour. Yeah. So at the hour, I'm like, I'm out of fucking material here.

I didn't know it, but I knew it. I'm like, I'm dead. Yeah. And finally it gives me a light, and I close up, and I get offstage, and they're like, you did an hour of 20, and I'm like, no, I didn't. They're like, yeah, you did. The guy gave you the light at an hour. I'm like, Jesus, fucking Christ.

Trying to kill me up here? That's the worst. Yeah. If you give me a light at 40, at least I know the light, by the way, for people at home listening, is a light that the sound board gives you, let you know how much time you got left. You know, most comics want to do you. do an hour so they get a light at 50 letting them know they have a 10 minutes to wrap it up you know so i usually like a light at 40 so i could take 20 to wrap it up because you usually in the middle

of a fucking segment five to get out of that and then a 15 minute closing you're the fuck out of there yep but when they stretch that and they're not paying attention and you know something's not right on stage you're like something's not right on fucking stage yeah this time is going a little different here then you know it you feel it why don't you guys have a a clock on the stage. Like, it seems like I've never seen a comic really get off. Like, would you, if that, in that scenario, if it hit an hour 30 and still in the light, would you just been like, good night?

And be like, I know I didn't, I know I did an hour. Yes, I'm watching the waitresses. Okay. Gotcha. I'm watching the waitresses coming back and giving change. If I see the waitresses giving change, I'm in the vicinity to get the fuck off the stage. Right. Okay.

That makes sense. Because they don't want them sitting there if they can't drink. Yep. Check drops happen. That's why they ask you how much time you're doing. That's why when a comic goes into a club and tells the soundboard gamut to do an hour, they do there's two hours and 30 minutes.

The club is furious. We don't care if you do two hours and 30 minutes, but let us know. Because then the people sit there for an hour with no drinks, because now they've got to reopen the fucking credit card. Yeah. That's why clubs get mad when certain people come in and do five hours or three hours or two hours

because it throws their clientele off. Yeah. So the timing, you know, I can't imagine. And the bigger the theater, the bigger your response to laughter back to your punchline. Yep. So for people at home, if you go see a comic in a theater and you go see a comedian at a comedy club and you go, wow, it was two different shows because that time, there's 2,200 seats in comparison to 260 seats. And there's all this fucking air to cover. And believe it or not, the laughter is a little slower.

Yeah. Like if it's laughter that goes from beginning to back, you have to count three before you hit them with the second joke. It's a very interesting concept. First five times you do theaters, you're in limbo. Yeah. You really are in limbo until you pick that whole thing up. And I think the first person who spoke about it was, I think Kennison spoke about it on an interview or something,

and that's when I thought about it. Well, that's right. Your timing is different in theaters. It's a really interesting concept. Who gives the fuck? You people at home going, Joey, I'm a plumber. I give a fuck about timing in an auditorium. It's true, though.

I mean, it's just timing in life, you know what I mean? Like, learn timing on any kind of thing. I remember when I was doing, the first one I was going to do with Russell Peters, it was like 10,000. And I called Marin in the parking lot at the store. You know, I was like, fuck, man, tomorrow. I'm doing, so I call him up. Hey, man, I'm doing like, 10,000 seed or tomorrow.

And I remember he's like, oh, you got this, man. And he goes, but remember one thing. Go slow. And I was like, go slow. slow and he goes yeah when you think the laughs are done they're not even close no that's why yeah and so you're stepping on your own material yeah I'm so glad he told me because what happens is

the first three or four worlds are the laughs you hear but they're not even you know it's not even close yet to being done it's a it's a journey and a half and you you know your milestones are your

CDs or your specials or whatever nobody ever gave me a special. So for a guy like me, you gotta start at CDs, whether you're fucking, the first CD I taped was at the three of clubs.

Yeah? Yeah, on a Tuesday night. That's a great room. 60 people. And the second one I taped was with this guy that died, God bless his soul, good comic.

He would do them at the laugh factory and they'd give you $33 a minute. $33 a minute? Yeah, so let's say you did two hours, but they kept an hour. It was $33 a minute. Wow. That's what you,

they pay you that and like, A flat rate? Yeah, they give you 50 CDs when the CD came out, and the rest of them you had to buy from them. Wow. I took the 50. I never bought a dime from them again. They kept walking me.

Why aren't you going to buy them? Fuck you. You sell them. So now when you go to truck stops, they still have them at truck stops. All over Texas, Louisiana, the Midwest. What was it called? I fucking forget. I wish it was called that.

I fucking forget. And, you know, he took pictures and shit. He never. okayed them with me. Yeah. You know, it's like one day I get this thing in the mail. It's my finished CD. I was pissed.

I'm like, you never gave me an okay. Like, he took the pictures and he disappeared. Wow. I thought he was going to call back and go, those pictures were ridiculous. No, all of a sudden it's a picture of me with two chicks. On the cover on a fucking blue album. That's what it's called, the Blue album. Really?

Wow. How many CDs you got out? The Blue album. Live from the Three of Spades. Three of Spades. Whatever the fuck is. Three in a club. Three in Spades.

Either you were the priest. Yep. Pussy with asthma. Yep. Savage died. Five. And then this one now. Six, man.

That's fucking dope. I'm like, I'm at the point of, we sold our soul for rock and roll. It's a sixth album. Oh, wow. Right? It's a sixth album. Yep, yep, yep. What was Zeppelin's sixth album?

Presence? Is it presents? Let's see. You got Zeppelin one, two, three. then you got the four houses of the holy then houses of the holy yeah presents

wow those are all good out and then in through the outdoor and then Coda no yeah physical graffiti in that too oh yeah fuck I almost forgot I forgot about that one completely

yeah you know we you and I have a weird taste for music you're more obscure but you're fundamentals and my fundamentals of music are pretty similar. So we have something to work with. I have friends that their fundamentals of music

and my fundamentals of music are completely different. And I never fucking thought about it. I never thought about it all. You and I have had countless conversations about music and you're out of town. And a few weeks ago, I'm in my office and I go, Jesus Christ,

no only there's a smell in here, but it's dirty. It's dirty. So I unplugged the speakers, the headphones and I put on, I was scrolling, I go, what can I play

that I haven't played in a long time? And I go, you know what, let me put on Power Rage, which was always a classic with me.

It's ACDC's, I think, fourth album. Yep. I think released in like 77 or 78, maybe. And just great songs on there.

You know, a couple songs I had to stop and re-listen to and go, wow, it's been a long time since I heard this.

And then I was outside, you know, taking garbage out, and sweeping, whatever the fuck I was doing in there. And YouTube automatically switches to the next album if you don't stop it. And all of a sudden, I hear, go down by ACD. And I'm listening to this, and I'm thinking about high school

and sophomore year. And no, no, I'm thinking about like freshman year. And all of a sudden, you know, I don't know what the order is on that, doggy dog. Yeah. And then it's something else after that. And I think by the third song, I had to actually go in, start the album, go to my bathroom in the back, go outside, spark a bowl, and I went back in, and I got a notebook, and I sat down, and nobody was home. It was like a rare time, and I listened to all eight or nine songs on this album.

And you don't have to flip it over, like at home, on an album or a CD. So by the sixth song, I actually had to stop, go get tissues. blow my nose and control my emotions. Oh, man. I was angry at myself for various reasons. I was angry at myself because I had forgotten about this album. Yeah. I was happy because this album was like the fucking,

it's like the four faces of the president. Yeah, oh, Rushmore. This is like one of my Rushmore's on my casket. Totally. This album really fucking, like I loved Highway to Hell, and I love power rage, and I love TNT, high voltage. But let there be rock just has something. It has a different feel to it.

You know, a great woman once told me that the reason why she enjoyed Zeppelin and ACDC was because in every album they grew. Yeah. There was a different sound. Everybody likes a certain band and a certain album because of a different sound they had. And that shows you the power of that fucking band, which today we don't have no more. We don't have that strength. and for us, you're going to cover some bands that you said you've watched lately,

but that six album, seven album, tenacious, to show up seven times with masterpieces, and change your sound around a little bit is the real brand, whether it's comedy or music, it's the real brand of what the fuck we do. Growing. You're growing, you know. But you see the growth from fucking,

whatever the second album is, Dirty Deeds, Thunder Jeep. Well, you got, if you start in the States, it starts with high voltage. And then it goes into Letterby Rock. But if you go like European. Traditional, right. Yeah, it's like TNT. Right.

You know, and you got high voltage. You got dirty deeds. Then you got Letterby Rock. You got Power Age. Then you got Highway to Hell, you know. You know, I always talk about Floyd having those four power albums. Zeppelin had those four power albums. This album is part of those four power albums.

It's insane. It just kicks off a barrage of debt. It's this power rage and highway to hell. It's unbelievable. Which kick off a barrage of fucking death. Is it just like the amount of good songs? Like what are you guys talking about? This I'm talking about the guitars, the music, the lyrics.

Light it up. Light it up, dog. Light this fucking thing up. You're talking about them having everything is different. The songs are written from actual fucking stories that happen to the band. They had a singer by the name of Bon Scott, God rest of soul. That was one of the last true savages.

Like his style of living has died. They died with Lemmy. You know, these are guys that smoked and drank till the end. They never gave up. This was their life. This is who they were. They drank. They did.

You know, I could go to YouTube, but I want to sit here with you guys for a second. And even though the music is on low. I don't think the speaker's on, buddy I think if you If you wanted to What speaker? It's not on? That sounds

It's a bit What is it? Maybe it's changing songs Here we go Yeah Doggy Dog You know All these songs

And it's like It goes And go down Doggy dog What comes next And then it's Here you go Let it be rock

My favorite Let that be rock And bad boy boogie And bad boy boogie There's a guy guitar part and bad boy boogie. Yeah. But I think it's one of the most brilliant guitar pieces.

Right before Bond Scott says, I was born to be, going to the day I die, whatever. Just two lyrics that spook your fucking spine. Yeah. Like all your neck hair stand up. You know what I'm saying? I love that when he comes in. On the day I was born, the rain fell down.

Yeah. No, no, no. And it's brilliant writing. You know, the other side has one of my all-time... Listen, if I got to judge my all-time favorite ACDC songs, number one is, give me a bullet to buy-knock. Oh, yeah. That's number one.

That to me, the lyrics, the content, what he's talking about, it's coming from a real place. If you know anything about Bon Scott. Number two, walk all over you and touch too much, destroy me. Night prowler destroys my insides. What's on Power Rades? is a song called something about the moon.

Oh, what's next to the moon? What's next to the moon? Just pure brilliance. You know, rock and roll damnation. What's the other one? Not Sin City, but there's another one on there.

Power rage. You got... Riff raff. Yeah, riffraff. This is just classic guitar stuff. Now, for this album here, this is a great jam,

but it warms you up to hit it would let that be rocked. Oh, God. You know, and just a statement that they were making. If you look at the album cover, it doesn't even look real. It looks like a kid in kindergarten. Cut a picture out around them and put it on a fucking thing.

Okay, here we go. So you were really into like the whole experience, like the whole band from the people in it to what they were wearing to... I didn't give a fuck what they were wearing. I didn't care about that. I didn't care about that. I wanted them to make me feel something. When I go to a concert,

Lee, you like the Jews that jump up and down. Right, yeah. You know why you like them? Because they make you feel something. Absolutely, yeah. Okay? I think that the DJ and all that stuff and play it, like I can't go to a show to watch a DJ spin.

But I'm 54 years old. Right. I'm an old man. You know, that's not what I cover. I want to see this. I want to see four guys, five guys, go up to the stage and create this. You know, when I was talking to Dean about it on the phone,

he made a great point that this album is dirty. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what the story is on this record is Punk Rock hits in 77. Look, how dirty this is? This is dirty people.

They're Australian. Oh. And it's Chuck Berry on steroids. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, so here's the story. Punk rock's big in 77. and ACDC's playing quite a bit in London.

They realize, well, we're not a punk band, but we need to keep up with this. So they write dirty, fast rock like this song here. This is so fucking fast. When you think about it, listen, it's just da-la-da-la-la-la-la-da-da-la-la-la-la. You know what I mean? It's hauling ass. And you could see they were playing with punk bands, you know,

right there in London. So this keeps up with it right away, compared to the high voltage where it's like, you know, like blues rock you know poker face was her name you know like the jack it's kind of bluesy this is like straight punch to the face

get the fuck out of the out of the pit man here we come you know you know a lot of times you come on here and we talk about different things I talk about if Lennyskated wouldn't have died music would have gone yeah damn listening to this and I'm like

what would have happened yeah if Bons got would have lived because back in black would have been a completely different hour and it was already written when he died it was already ready to go was the box ready to tape

you know I can't imagine how hell's bells would sound with Bond Scott yeah right and have a drink on me as such a bond thing you know have a drink on me you know it's so bond you know and that fucking

also just back in black the actual track hit the sack been too long glad to be back it's just so incredible like it would have been insane with him you know because that record sold more records it's up there with thriller and the Eagles you know so it's like

imagine with him like whoa crazy you know it was crazy like I lived through all this like this is not something that like I still remember it was a fucking cold day and I did acid with this dude John Crowley and Louis Castellita. Right?

Yeah. It was freezing. Fucking freezing. And we went to this park and, oh my God, we just did so many. That kid, John Crowley, he's like a kid's illustrator today. Oh, yeah? But he used to be top-notch entertainment whenever you did drugs. Like, he could just bust you up.

Yeah. From picking up a cone with ants on it and eating it in front of 200 people. Like, he had no fear about nothing. Yeah. But this one day he took his dick out and got on top of a tree stump that everybody sees is making this turn. And every time people were driving past him, he would wave at him with his dick out. And we're on ass and laughing at our asses off. But the main thing was that we found out that night that Bonscott died of our birthday.

It was like my 17th birthday when he died. Yeah. So. I was in junior high. You know, nobody knows nothing about nothing in those days. We had Cream magazine. like I mentioned with you and Jimmy Florentine. There was no internet.

No. There was no videos of ACDC rehearsing. There's no Twitter. And all of a sudden, one day out of nowhere. Like people like, bro, we got tickets for ACDC. You go. I'm like, I didn't fuck it. I thought the guy died.

I think he replaced them. The guy sounds the same. It's tremendous. And again, it was one of those nights where we took a bus over. We got Coke from Jack Finn. Me and Kirkie Lorenzo, God bless his soul. Yeah. We were in Wehawking and we got coke from this guy, Jack Flynn.

I told the story I'm here. We went over there and the Coke was amazing. Oh, like it was cocaine. Like 1980, Pablo Escobar. Florida. Speed. High balls would get red. You know, the alcohol really wouldn't hit your body.

The Coke would just clean it up before it would start creeping. Yeah. But it was hot. It was August 1st of 1980 when they showed up. And it was hot. Yeah. Was it 80, 80? 80.

80. It was hot, hot. The tour had started in Philly on July 31st. So we called them early straight out the box. Yeah. August 1st. And at the Palladium, which is not a garden or metalands. It's a theater.

And Def Leppin opened up for them on the fucking... High and dry? Yeah, high and dry. No, remember, high and dry was released like an 80s. But it didn't hit Yeah, they had the one before it. They had the... On to the night.

On to the night. Yeah. So they're waiting for it to drop. They're probably out touring, you know. That's how bands did it. Here they fucking... We went and ACDC where Bryant Scott that night

was masterful. Oh, yeah. I was there. I saw it. I saw the damage they did. I know how I felt when I left there. Like, blown the fuck away. Coked out, drunk.

In those days, we used to drink nips. But if I was with Kurt, we'd drink, he has two good friends. Yeah, yeah. Lowbrow. Lowbrow nips. Remember Nicolope? Meckleobe, too. I would go to Mickey's Big Mouth.

I had a friend that was shaped like a Mekyllope bottle. Timmy Holloway, remember Timmy Hollow, my friend, my friend Roger. It's shaped like a Mekyllab. No, no. These guys are Tabascos. No. This family lived next to the Runnies. And they had five kids.

And one looked like Eddie Van Halen. One was a biker. One was Guy, who was Mike Gumba. One was, I forget the one guy's name. That's kind of like a swear. And then there's the one guy that's a cop. And he's shaped funny. He shaped funny.

Sounds like a village people. Shaped like a megalo. That eats completely different. That sounds like a Beastie boy's line, right? Teddy. Guy. Jesus Christ. What the fight?

That's right in the tip of my tongue. But anyway, the one that was the cop. had a funny looking body. So, Raj's totally calling him a mickle-o bottle. He used to say, your brother. You know, Timmy. Yeah. Timmy, the guy that you met.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His older brother is a fucking Eddie Murphy dude. Wow. I'll put him up with Eddie Murphy. No shit. Even today, born-again Christian, half a botts. He's still naturally funny on the phone. And that's what he, you know.

What the fuck we're talking about? We're talking about Brian. Your friend? That looks like a... A megalo bottle. have drinking nips. He would just, I go, how long have you been out here? I was out here for like four minutes.

That fucking Mikhailobano wanted to talk to me. Like that's how he'd refer to him. Miculovato. Hilarious. I was just thinking about that. I was trying to work on a bit where, you know, everybody wants bullying gone. And it's like there's not going to be any good nicknames anymore. You know, like Bucketeeth, Sam, you know, and Laser Breathwind.

All these great nicknames. People aren't going to enjoy those anymore. They're a lot worse now. Those are like... But I'm just saying, you know? Kids would make fun of you now if you tried to call Malaysia, Brother Linda. Like, kids have the internet now.

They're probably ruthless. Yeah, but what I'm saying is no nicknames will be around anymore because it'll be like, you know, that's bullion. You know what I mean? But nicknames are going to be gone. Right? If you don't have a nickname, you're really not loved.

Yeah. I never knew that. Wow. My mother pointed that out. I fucking hated the name Coco. Yeah. When I was old enough to live in Manhattan, like when I was on 88th Street, when I was about 6 or 7, I did not like the name fucking Coco. But I had another predicament. I didn't like to name Jose either. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I started thinking about it like, well, wait a second, my name is Antonio. I just call myself Tony. Yeah. So I even got a ringmate, Tony. I had Tony put on everything. I was like, fucking Tony. T-O-N-Y, Tony. That was it.

Yeah. And my mother's like, oh, Antonio. And I would go, no, no, my name is Tony. and she would go, you know what Tony? Go fuck yourself. Your name is my husband. Fucking Tony. I started calling myself Tony.

It looked like you were channeling Tony in that headshot the comedy store put up the other night. Did you see it? Oh yeah. I love that with the glasses. Let me tell you guys. I moved here on a fucking Monday. Yeah.

And I had to take that picture on a Thursday. Because people are like, you got a head shot. You got a head shot. You got a head shot. You got a head shot. Some guy that was a friend of a friend. took those pictures and the glasses were the chicks I was dating

unbelievable so just let me borrow them for the headshot It's a comedy headshot Yeah yeah It's not a theatrical headshot Yeah Yeah Well I love the

That's one thing I love about the store Right now they're rebuilding the bathrooms And we got to get those headshots back up Because it really gives it that sense of History in there Because like even when you look at early ones Of Ari Shefir Or early ones of

Steve Renazee, all these guys from years ago, and you're like, whoa, look at how, like, they're almost straight looking. It shows you what we look like, the before picture. Yeah, yeah, the before. And then you look at this now, this is 20 years again, lied to smoke blown up your ass. Yeah, Hollywood abuse. Yeah, Hollywood abuse. This is what you look like.

Is that my all headliner seem to have, like, very, like, depressed-looking headshots? Every headliner has, like, a serious headshot. You know, I look at that headshot. I looked at that last night. I lost that headshot. That was in the car when my apartment got fucking towed. That was your little headshot you had? No, no, I had a different headshot.

But at that time, I always saved five or six headshots for you don't know what, what the fuck it's going to be. And I looked at that headshot and I thought of one thing, that I wasn't as old as I thought I was when I moved here. Yeah. I was still a young fucking kid, man. When I moved here, I was 33 years old. Plain and simple. Yeah, yeah. Right, exactly.

I was a fucking young man. And in my mind, I was, in Hollywood's mind at that time, that's fucking old. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking old. Like, boy, you're long in the tooth. You got to lose weight. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what we can do with you.

Yeah, it was kind of fucking weird. Yeah. And I didn't, I never took that to any of them. I didn't give a fuck what they had to say to me. It really never mattered. Oh, yeah. I got a funny-ass story for you, Joe. You're going to love this more than you.

You know, I've had no manager seven years. agent. So I do the Ontario Improv a couple weeks ago, do some good numbers, you know, and then I do the San Jose Improv, do some pretty good numbers, and then I'm, you know, got this record coming out.

So there's some, you know, Twitter stuff going, and some management people call me up. Just cold call out of nowhere. I'm sitting on my couch. I don't know this number. It's a conference call, two managers. And they said, hey, hey it's such and such and such and such uh you know we just wanted to talk to you

and uh you know saw you did some good good stuff going up and doing some things and uh you know we want to know what you got going on you know you got a manager i go now i haven't had a manager and it's the whole time and they go why do you think that is and i go well i'm 51 it's not an easy word nobody knows yeah that's going to be work and what do you're going to do get you know 10% of my 1500 on a weekend nobody's going to want to do that and they go oh you you know, well, we got such and such and such and such and, you know, we're really interested. Can you send over some clips? And I don't have any clips, but I had a good 30.

I just shot at the, Lahore. So I sent it over. I don't hear nothing from them, right? You don't love this. I get an email today. Now, take in mind, they cold called me, right? They cold called me looking to manage me. When I send them the video over, they send back to me this answer right here.

You're going to love it. appreciate the follow-up. We enjoyed your stand-up, but at this time, we don't think we have the bandwidth to start working together and do what needs to be done when launching a client.

We like to ensure you we love to be 120% when we work with someone. We couldn't honestly offer you that right now. Wish you the best. They make it look like I contacted them. I didn't even con. First of all, don't bullshit to say,

I don't like your comedy, or we don't know what to do with you. but they made it look like I contacted them and they don't have the time. You got rejected for a job you didn't apply for her, which is fucked up. I'm like, you should have just said, you know what, we don't really did this.

Isn't that hilarious? You know me, I don't want to embarrass nobody. About eight, nine years ago, before the podcast came even came along. Yeah. I got a call from like, you ever got a call from an assistant? Oh, yeah.

Like an agent's assistant. And they go, hi, it's a such and such. We, uh, yeah, I love that. And she goes, listen, one of my clients would like to speak with you about an opportunity. I go, okay, who's your client? They tell me, I go, yeah. In the back of my mind, I've seen this guy around town ten times. You're more than happy to call me.

He's saying, okay, we're going to loop him in. He loops in. Hey, Joey, what's up? Last time I saw you, really funny, I couldn't stick around. I wanted to ask you something. Are you being managed right now? Yeah. And I go, no, I got nothing.

He goes, listen, man, there's a manager. at my manager's office that fucking thinks you're great, that he loves the character, he worked with characters for eight years over at such and such agency. He thinks he could really kick your acting career going. I go, that would be great.

This is fucking amazing. I'm like, wow. Yeah. Today's my lucky day. No more fucking shitty agents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're a managing, acting, fucking the real deal. Like, these guys just have like a bunch your fucking names. So I call the guy and he's like, oh my

God, it's a pleasure. You don't understand. I've taken guys like you, this guy, this guy, and you fucking again. I'm like, wow. Yeah. This seems a little weird. He goes, again, what do you have on hand? I got a reel. I got this. I got that. I got this. Let me send it over to you

and get this start. He goes, yeah, let's get this work going. A week goes by, two weeks goes by. Yeah. Three weeks goes by. Finally, you know me, dog. I'm a Cuban Jew. I got to pick up the phone. That's exactly what happened to me.

I pick up the fucking phone. And I dial the phone. And I asked for him. And there's a long pause. And he can't talk right now. Is it okay if he calls you back? And sure enough, the next day he called. And he told me that at this time, man,

me and my partner is disgusting. I got to tell you something, I could see you doing great things. But it would be a long haul for us. Yeah. We're so busy. with this and this. And then why did you make this poor

fucking actor call me and embarrass himself? Yeah. Like it's just, and this is this is six or seven times. Yeah. You know, last week I met with a guy as a friend,

but we exchanged the stories and I told him when I was shooting the longest yard that at one time, what's his name? The Black Crazy Guy in the Longest Yard. You know, he got hit by it.

Oh, Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan in the process that I had left three yards. And he signed with a management called Hamprint. And years ago, out of the fucking blue, Lee, you ready? I'm ready. I got a call from one of the kids I grew up with. And he goes, Joe, you got a minute? I go, listen, there's a guy in that way that he wants to help you.

Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? You have a fucking long show me. He goes, I'm telling you, his fucking. My father works on the docks and he always talks about you. His son's senior in LA. He knows you're from Jersey. He's a big time manager.

Like, we think he handles Jennifer Lopez. I'm like, what? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, this has to be bullshit. Yeah, yeah, of course. Sure enough, he goes, can he contact you? Or you want to contact him?

He goes, you know what, I'll contact him. He goes, I'll call you back on an hour. Calls me back. Gives me the guy's number. I call him up. Bob, Bob, Bobby, Bobby, how are you? Oh, my God. I'm so happy.

Listen, Jersey loves Jersey. Jersey loves Jersey, let's do this. He's like, dog, I love you. And this is like after Spider-Man 2. Yeah. Before the longest yard. And he's talking me up, blah-p-p-pah. When is your next showcase?

I go, when do you want it to me? Yeah. He goes, how about Thursday and 8? Thursday it is? Let me call you right back. Improv. Can we do it? Yeah, it's for this and stuff.

Yeah, that's who Tracy Morgan left three yards for. Right. He shows up and sure enough two days later. You know what, man? we work with comics a little bit more high caliber than you but you just called all the way to New Jersey I know my friend

so don't ever feel bad that kind of shit happens all the time isn't that crazy too? It's crazy I mean they called me and people at home are like what the fuck is that the way that business is yes

it's we had a manager on here maybe two years ago and off camera he spoke very highly of you. And he said, like a Dean Delt. And it's funny, Dean, because I don't ever want people to get the wrong concept, but I got to tell you something.

If there's one person, there's a couple of people doing it the right way today. You see all the people who succeed, and then you see all the underlings like myself, Dean, Tom, you know, we're just striving to just get, but we all, share the same thing that

the funny thing about this town is you could be the funniest guy in the world but if people aren't coming to your shows that doesn't get the machine going. No. The machine is all based on that. For years, Dean, Del Rey, I did not know this.

Yeah. Because in the world the proof is in the pudding. You know, people have to come out and see you. They have to come out to support you. That spreads the word. Anything else? is obsolete. Doesn't matter.

It's all money. And once you're out of that public eye, it's funny how you could be doing this, that, this, that. If they can't get a way to make money out of you, they will not sign you. I had this discussion a couple of weeks ago with a young open micer who I think took offense to our conversation because I'd explain the truth to him.

Yeah. That these people do not want to have contact with you. till you're getting paid. And they want to come along and get paid. And then you become their best friend. And everything that happened, the 20 years before that, is forgiven.

Yeah. It's forgiven. And sometimes you go, Joey, why did you forgive that guy? Because you know what? I got a monster feed. Yeah.

And I don't have time to argue with somebody over talent. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. About what did you put me in that movie years ago? Who gives a fuck? The movie was a flop anyway.

Yeah. Burr told me the greatest thing. He said, you're going to get a lot of nose all the way up and he goes but you're going to get there I can feel it

and when you do don't give all those nose a fuck you because it's nothing personal it's just business you can't come into that life at that time they have no space for you

that life and this happens with music you know it's all the same listen this goes back I always said a thousand times to the mafia concert on Friday

at the end of the week Whoever shows up with the biggest envelope could get away with the most. I'm watching a show to the other night about heroin in Montreal. Just the other than I get home from flappers or... I think it was Saturday, the Ice House.

And you don't want to start nothing. It's fucking 11, 10 after 11. You don't have time to put two hours in. You want to be in bed by midnight. You want to get up on the Lord's Day early and eat that cano oatmeal. Keenua oatmeal. Kno.

So it was like 1120, and I had told me, I go, yeah, midnight. I did the CBD oil. So I got to stay up for an hour anyway, before I fall sleeping. There's this thing about the Montreal Mafia. Wow. And how they did all. They hired the bikers to do all the work for them. Like, they hired the Hells Angels.

And that guy, the boss of the Hells Angels was a savage up there. Car bombs and fucking blowing people up and shit. But they distributed the heroin that came in from, whatever, Ying Yingville. Right. And they would get in fucking, in Montreal, and then they would send half of that load

to New York, to the Bonano Crime family. And it's really interesting that you watch all these TV shows and you read all this, you deal, you die, and all that. All that shit was bullshit. Because at the end of the week,

if Lee struggling to give me $10,000, and you give me $75,000, even if I know you're selling drugs, I'm taking that money. Yeah. I'm not going to say where did you get the money from. How much you give me from the drug operation? $30,000. I'm not going to take that money.

Take that out of the bag. Yeah. So they all became, like at the end of the day, they were all dealing drugs. Yeah. Everybody knew to stay a fucking float to really line your pockets with real money. You know, they found out years later, after Paul Costellano, that, even the underboss, that dude, had a heroin smuggle on operation in South Jersey. That's the whole thing Godfather's enough.

He didn't want to do drugs. They're like, dude, you're an old man. The booze and the prostitution is over. It's all about drugs. That's the whole story, you know. That's where the big quick money is. And it's funny how there's a hypocrisy. It's the same hypocrisy in music probably,

and it's a stand-up comedy. You could work your ass off. You can be a funny person. but until you start filling those seats, they really don't pay attention to you. They refuse to pay attention to you. Then they jump on the bandwagon and they have options of how to teach you

how to sell more seats or venues or things like that. That's what an agent does. But in the beginning, I've said this a thousand times. There's not much people could do for you. You know, your friends with Mark Maron, do you think Mark Maron just grabbed you and put you in the show just because you're, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

I mean, he gave you a few episodes the same way he gave me. Yeah, yeah. But people think like, oh, let me just call Mark and shit. You go on the road and people come up to and go, tell Mark to put you more episodes. Oh, I love that one. Let me call Mark right now. Or they always say this one, you ought to be out in Toledo.

You ought to come to Jersey. You ought to come. I go, dude, I'll go anywhere. Until I put butts in the seats, the clubs know. They go, this guy's filling rooms. Get them immediately. The phone starts ringing. The phone starts ringing.

Yeah. I feel bad. I get those things. to go with Joey, but like, Joey can't fly me across the country just to take edibles and sit in the green room. I mean, it'd be great, but that's, that's, like, you can't just do that. But is it also, going back to what you're talking about with the agents and stuff, is that why, especially with you, you're very, not that you take as much, you want to strike well the iron's hot, because you know, as soon as you stop putting people in the seats, they're going to drop you, too. Like, is that always in the back of your mind? Just, no.

No? No. No. Never. Listen, once you were poor and you struggled for as long as I did doing comedy, you survived. Yeah. Because I survived life under different terrains.

I survived through a valley of drug dealers. I survived through Valley of Loanshards. Yeah. Couches. Bad food. You know, you got to remember where this animal was fucking caged all those years and who he was dealing with. So when I came out here, I can't say I got starstruck, but I respected people who were bigger criminals than the criminals I grew up with because their criminals are talent. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? They just wheel and deal talent. Yeah. There's some people who do it because they really enjoy stand-up. They really, really enjoy it. They really enjoy it. There's some people who put you through a process. They take you.

They groom you a little bit. and then you're out there you're out there to you're fucking dead yeah you know which for some people is great but somewhere in there you have to take control of what's going on and go this is my parameters

this is what I'm going to do and this is what I'm not going to do and that's when a success comes if you look at one guy who did that from the beginning of his guy named Daniel Taj oh man Daniel Taj is a strict businessman motherfucker when you hired Daniel And 40 minutes, he's a memory.

Yeah. That's it. 40 minutes. He doesn't do a minute over or a minute under. And he's on that private jet to the next city. He's on that private jet to the next fucking city. He's a business dude. He's very sterned with his business.

And it's worked out for him. That ways that's what you have to do at times. Sometimes you're going to go bank heads with your management and your agency. But if you believe it and your conviction is strong enough and you prove it to them, everything's fine. Yeah. You know, again, I'm 54, and I feel it. Yeah, I constantly look at you as the, you know, like, inspiration.

You know, like when I got that email, I was just like, yeah, it doesn't bother me because I just did a record and I'm working. You know what I mean? You came to me and it's like, I'm working tomorrow no matter what. You know what I'm saying? First of all, I always thought a manager. With somebody you had a love. Yeah. Okay.

I always thought a manager was a type of person that would come up to you and go, Dean Downray, Joe Diaz, how are you? Nice to meet you. Dean, you're a great guy. I'm watching you on stage. I hear nothing but great things about you. I really like to work with you. But at this level, there's nothing I could do. I have a girl that books comedy guys for people.

She books this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy. I'd like to get your resume started in acting. You know, maybe get some tickets in hells, put a couple CDs. out specials, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Let's work together for six months. No contract. You can leave whenever the fuck you want.

You pay it when I get you. If I don't get it for you, you don't pay. If your agent calls you with a movie

and you get $22 million, I don't, if I didn't get it for you, you don't pay me. Cool. And in those 90 days,

I work a little harder for you. Yeah. I tell you a little more than, first I call you and go, It's kind of dead out there.

I've made some calls, but I've made big-time calls. Like, I've called in favors from friends that have a show for a voice or other. Because at the end of the day, it's all the same. You know what I'm saying? It's who makes the call.

Yeah. You know, so if you're a good manager, you should have three contacts that I could call right here. Totally, right? Totally, totally. So I spoke to my friends over at Bill Burr show. You know Bill Burr?

Yeah, you know Bill from the store. Yeah, F is for family. Yeah, F is for family. I got your three episodes. you're gonna play the garbage man down the block okay because he knows that one guy over there and he pushed you and he pushed you and he pushed you and he pushed you it's not up the burr whatever he knows people at Netflix you know what I'm saying yeah then he'll call like a theater somewhere and get you in there for one night for more money than you've ever

dreamed of like 1800 cash and a plane ticket yeah and then he'll call and go do you have an agent you'll go no you go all right I'm gonna email you something printed take it that over the Mawder, CIA. Go talk to my friend Matt Frost over at C.E. You know what? Frosty. Yeah, you follow how, that's how a manager. Now you're impressed. And you're like, whoa, just in three weeks. I got a theater. I'm on FIS for family. I got an agent. Then you're like, wow, this is real. Now, guess what? When you get that call from Mark Marion and he takes you on the road and he pays you good money for the other money, who are you going to pay a commission

to when you get back? Yeah, the manager. We're pride. Fuck yeah. Here you go. And take 100. Go get yourself a haircut. You know, because you know they're real, and that's how you build that bond. Number two, how can you do what you're doing lately? I'm watching you. Yeah.

I've been watching you later. I can see somebody else, like two or three other people have mentioned you what you're doing, which is very smart. You know what, listen, you're 51. That means you got one foot in the grave, one of banana peel. Yep. You shouldn't even do jumping jacks before lunchtime.

Yeah, just in case. Yeah. Because our percentages are a low. higher now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But right now, you're going for the juggler. Yeah.

You're not dicking around with movie or commercials. You said, fuck it. I'm going for a clientele. I want to let people know they come for an hour. They get a great show, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I'm not doing this, I'm learning with Bill Burr and Mark Marin and Joey and fucking Jim Jeffries and, you know, Eliza. Whoever the fuck says to you, you want to go on the road and work, which is the best education you can do. I did it for years.

Totally. I headlined shitty room. for fucking years and I'd open up for Joe. There's no ego there. I don't have no fucking ego. I don't give a fuck. I love over there. The ego is the fucking bank book.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm paying my bills. I'm paying rent. I'm eating. I'm smoking rea. You know, I'm not fucking Kevin Hart. You're doing it.

I'm not Kevin Hart, but I'm fucking making a living, which isn't bad. You're going to put the other side on, what me and eat and another star. We don't look high enough today. I know what the problem is. I don't know if Lee needs another fucking bonk of debt. I'm high as fuck. I don't look high.

Not at all. Okay. Don't look high at all. It's time for you to see the devil. The spots haven't come out yet tonight? No. Spottie, you took the medication. Yeah.

You took the spotty medication. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yes. This is side fucking two of the classic Let There Be Rock. The backside of this is Angus Young with like a weird light color, like a amber. Amber. Like an almond color light.

With that lip kicked up? the SG, the schoolboy suit. You look at it and you go, oh, there it is right there. Like he just came on, you know, he still got all the outfit on. Now, you and I have had discussions about bands before. Yeah. And after, because for a week, I listened to this out. Yeah.

And I broke down every song, and I thought about it, and I wrote jokes while I listened to it. I spoke on the phone to people when I had it on low, and I send certain videos to certain friends of mine on Facebook. Think about this, motherfucker. How good is this shit? Yeah. How many of nights that we listen to fucking over, over whatever,

overdose on you and the fucking this. I realized something. Then I started watching a couple of Brian. Brian Johnson. Brian Johnson videos. And I came to a conclusion that's really hurtful. Until this day, ACDC was done when Bons got done. Brian Johnson, those guys, was something else.

Yeah. And I tolerated back in black. sucked into the with the ether. For those who suck the cock, by that time, I love that record. By that time, I had gotten into dead water. For those who sucked the cock.

Yeah, for those who sucked the cock, we salute you by that time. I had the album. My shoplifted at the album. Yeah, shoplifted at the album. But once I brought it home, the ether had war off. I love it.

I love the first three with Brian Johnson. Back in black, those about to rock and flick at the switch. I love those. The other and I watch a Brian Johnson concert. that was spectacular. And 80?

I don't know when the fuck it was. MTV? It was packed. And they were all dancing for this. There had to be 60,000 people. Oh shit, that's like that Germany one or something. Yes, yes. That shit is killer.

And it's killer. And I'm like, you know what? Yeah. Even though they're ripping it up, it's still not. And I read a lot of the YouTube comments. Yeah. Oh, my God. You went down that hole?

I had to see what people were saying about. And you have no idea how many people felt the same. And I never realized this until two weeks ago. When I saw all the videos that night, I'm like, and that's why I got out of it after a while. I get it. A lot of people started replacing people. Listen, deep down inside, in my fucking soul.

Yeah. There was no way I was going to listen to D.O. Sabbath. Oh, man. If you know anything about Uncle Joey, I refuse to taste hummus. I will not listen to D.O. Sabbath, okay? It's my favorite. But they made me fucking turning around. Yeah.

But it seemed like so many bands, once a band's hero leaves, it's over. I feel like that was Skinnered, man. I just couldn't take it. Oh, no. I would not. It's just a sin, you know. They're just out there. They got the nephews and the cousin and the guy who lives next door.

Yeah. I love Leonard Skinner, but you got to let them rest their soul. Yeah. I can't have that. It looks like a fucking barnyard something. It doesn't look good. ACDC's down to one original guy now. Angus.

Everyone's gone. And we're like, what's going to happen? And, you know, there's rumblings that Axel may do a record with them. But, you know, Phil Rudd's out, who was the drummer, you know. He got all methed up last year. He's out. So, and then the bass player, once Brian was out, the bass player, Cliff Williams said, I retire. I've been here 40 fucking years or whatever.

I didn't think it was going to be this long. So it's just Angus now. And they're going to go out again, you know? Like, imagine the power of one guy in a schoolboy outfit selling out an arena. The power of that. Like, we don't care who's in there. We're going to see Angus. Isn't that wild?

I mean, that is a strong fucking character. There's very few people that could do that, though. Like, can you imagine? Like, there's no base. Well, he's going to sell out for sure. if he has Axel. Which Axel is the obvious fucking replacement right now. Axel wants to do it.

If Axel could cut a deal with guns and say, I'm with you guys six months, take a month off, and then do three months with them, a quick three-month tour. Two shows a week. They've got a rest. Everybody's in their 60s. I mean, Angus is what? 67.

I think he's 64 or something? Look that up, Lee, were you? Sure. Angus Young? Yeah. He's the young one. of the band, you know. I mean, he was in the band when he was like fucking 14, you know.

What do we got? He is a young, 62 years old. 62. Because he was in as a kid, you know, like 13, 14 years old. Isn't that weird? Like, I always said, like, we're speaking about managers and we're speaking about the business and all that.

Growing up in Rock, it was really brutal because you would go into the room and they would go, we look, we love your but the bass player's fat and the drummer's old gotta get rid of them and we'll sign you

and it would be like a brotherhood of dudes that played for like 10 fucking years together and they're like sorry dude you know and they it was just brutal you would hear that my point is I don't know how ACDC ever made it because you got a guy who's like

13 but then Bonn is like fucking 30 and when you look at the guy And none of them are good looking. So I don't see how a label went like, yeah, we're cool with this. Your singer's old as fuck. You're like, you know what I mean? That's crazy to me.

Everything was against them. A lot like Metallica. Metallica playing a music that no one knew, no one heard of. They kind of invented this speed metal. And they're four not good looking dudes during the fucking full glam era of rock. You know, and they make it. I love that. That's what keeps me driving.

You know what I mean? It's like people go, they'll never make it. It's like, it's not about making it. It's about doing it, right? It's about doing it and living it. Yeah. Like for me, you know, from 2007, 2008, I was struggling, 2009, you know. Dude, I was picking up this.

I was seeing you at the fucking ha-ha. You know what I mean? And you're coming down doing Tuesdays like in 2009. You know what I mean? Yeah, 2009. And, you know, yeah, I was. there in 2009 and at the end 2009 and I remember like

Augustine always be like yeah that's that's Joey Diaz man you ever see him I was like not you know what I mean you come walking down the street I was like no and then you know I start seeing you all the time later on I start hearing your name then I start then you come back to the store and I'm like wow the magnitude of this you know what I mean and then I start looking at

it as like that guy's a fucking a lifer you know what I mean whatever to be yeah whenever I see a guy that It's a lifer. Like, you know, like me, I've been in the entertainment business 35 years. It's just what I do, you know? Like music, now it's comedy or whatever. But it's like fucking lifers, man. Listen, man, I became a lifer.

I can tell you this with all the honesty in the world. I became a lifer in October of 93. That's when I knew. There was a certain point I said, okay, I've done it all. I'm going for this. To me at that time, what the going for this meant just to live it. To do it. Whether I starved, or whether there was lobster or fucking a veggie and cheese sandwich from Subway sandwich and a joint, I would be happy as long as I wasn't robbing and in prison.

Exactly. That's how I looked at it. That's how I narrowed it down. I said, I'll never forget that decision. I'll never forget driving back to college. Colorado with a woman I barely knew. Yeah. Cross country and thinking like I can't wait to get to Denver to start doing comedy.

I had the Judy Carter book. I had watched the BET tape of Joe Torrey warming up with the little guy with Martin. Yeah. I had watched Rodney Dangerfield specials. I had been doing comedy for two years, doing whatever that's called in the beginning. That limbo period. Yeah. You don't really know what the first.

fuck you're doing. You're just out there. Yeah, you're just out there. But it took probably 28 months to realize that I was going to be a life. I could tell you guys that right now. Yeah. That's what I went back to Boulder, I said this is fucking it. And nothing's going to fucking stop me.

That was it. That's what fucking rules. You know what I mean? That's what kicks ass. Yeah. It was either I was going to end up on a stage. Yeah. Well, I was going to end up back in prison or dead. That was it. I had made my decision up like there was no, I I wasn't, no, don't get me wrong.

I was not thinking success. No. If you want me to look in the eye and go, yeah, I planned on doing the Woolton Theater in 2000. That's bullshit. Yeah, that's bullshit. Yeah. I never planned on success.

I planned on surviving. Yep. A small apartment, maybe a couple rats in there. Low overhead. You know, low overhead. No car, maybe train, and feature acts would drive me.

If I ever became a headliner, you know, I knew I was always good enough to feature. Yeah. But headlining is something fucking difference. It's so different. And I respected it, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Even though I didn't respect the law, I didn't give a fuck about drug be.

I didn't fuck about a lot of things. I respected headlining. Yeah. You know, I respected the light in the beginning. And I knew that the more I got on stage, the better I would get. Like, I just knew it. Yeah. I just fucking knew it.

Yeah, yeah. And that's what you're doing right now. Exactly. You don't give a fuck. You'll jump on a plane in the back of you. jet blue for $2.99 and sit behind a fat dude like me fart in the whole way. Yeah.

You'll go to the stand. You'll go here. You'll go there. You'll sleep on the couch. That's what you... And then you... It's so easy to crack at that time in your life. Oh, man. I've had some close ones. Yeah. Because it's very easy to wake up in the middle night and go... Oh, yeah. I'm sleeping on somebody's couch. And he's in there smoking crack.

What am I doing my life? Yeah. It's just... And you come... You really... This business, the ups and downs is unbelievable. You know what I mean? Like one day you're on Russell Peters private jet. The next day you're at fucking Sardo's doing an open mic. You know what I mean?

There's no illusions. Those are all people's draws. And you're just lucky enough to be able to be on one of those, you know? But you see the magnitude and what kind of work it takes to get there, which is kind of cool that I get to be around guys like you or Mary. or these dudes had been in 20, 30 years. Not me. You're around like Burr.

You're around big leaguers. Marin. Like Marin was big when I got into comedy already. Like Marin was well known. Yeah. And there was two Mark Marins. You know that, right? No.

For a long time, there was Mark Maron and Mark Moran. Moran. Oh, yeah. And the other guy ended up being like a joke thief. Oh, wow. And a couple people sent them subpoenas and shit. Wow. To stop doing his job.

Jokes, yeah. Subpoena. Yeah, like, subpoena them. Like, what's that called cease and exist? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guarantee. Leet, look that up. That's great. Had you spelled the same way?

Who spelt the same way? Maybe with a K or something. Maybe with a C. Yeah. Or Mark's with the C, so maybe with a K. I'll try that first. Something like that, you're right. I'm just, I know it's not, but I'm just imagining a picture of Mark

Merrin with like the fake glass, glasses. Yeah, that it's just coming. with Mark Merrin now. Like the famous one. Did you try M-A-R-K? That's what I typed in. And they're like, no, you mean this one. Oh, I mean the other one comes up.

I'll put in, I'll search instead for Mark Marr-R-T. Yeah, when I first started in 95, there was a problem. Wow. Mark was in San Francisco, I think. Right. And the other guy was in Michigan. Wow. And the other guy did colleges, but he would do the clubs and rob jokes.

Ooh. Oh, you found it? Yeah. No, no. And then you do, he would do something, something like that. Right. Yeah. So I had heard of Mark.

Could be like an E or an A at the end? You know, when I first started, yeah. When I first started, I still remember Mark. Yeah. I remember Jay Moore. Yeah. Was already big in New York? So was the black kid, Bill Bellaby.

Oh, Bill Bellamy? Bill Bellamy was already big in New York. Mitch was around, right? Mitch came a little couple of years later. I met Mitch in Seattle, Louis C.K. in Seattle. Wow. The other kid that died, that was really funny. He was from...

Phil Hicks? No, no, no, no, no. Just, he was like a New York guy. Uh-huh. Lewis C. Kane, he died, God bless his soul. He died from that stuff you get when you get ligation in your ears. I don't know. And he was getting married, so he went to the emergency room, but it took too long.

Oh, wow. So he got on the plane, he died on his honeymoon, something crazy. Oh, man. That's brutal. I forget what his name was. But he was, I met him in Seattle. I met Janja Ruffin, Seattle, Tom. Rhodes in Seattle.

In the 905, Town Road is already big. Felicia Michaels was already big in 94. You know, in those days they had comedy comacazi and they had comedy justice and MTV comedy hour. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The VH1 Sunday comics where they would put three 20-minute sets. Pit bull, Bobby Slayton. Yeah, Bobby Slayton. You know, HBO was more prevalent with comedy, you know.

So, you know, when I first got into comedy, I mean, I studied those tapes. I went to Flappers last night And there's a young kid that works there Like a waiter, he works hard And I told him last night He goes, I watched this And I enjoy when this guy said this And that's how I know you really love comedy

When you watch different comics And you learn certain things from them on paper Like he was saying he watched this And this guy told the story And how he went into the story And I'm watching this kid going This kid can be dangerous Because he's like 19

Yeah, yeah. These are the guys that learn this shit working on stage, and by the time they're 24, they're ripping it up, nobody knows who they are, then they get to be 26, 27. And now these guys are mad at the fucking stage.

I could see this kid being a killer. Yeah, yeah. Because even at that level... You've got so much shit you can watch now, too. Before we'd have to wait, we'd get a VHS tape. We had VHS. Yeah, and you'd watch it,

and then, like, maybe go to Blockbuster or whatever your corner store was and get another one, like, I got another video. I'm going to watch this guy. But now you're just YouTube. And, you know, like this week I decided, you know, I'm starting to write some more stuff. I go, I want to try to get into some really good storytelling style, you know, because I love, like, Al Magical or you.

You guys, you tell these stories that have the bits, and I have all these stories from life. And I really want to try to bring them into the show, but figure out how to punch him up, you know? So now I'm going to, I'm watching, like, story guys, you know what I mean? You pick stuff to really learn, so you have all the weapons, you know, like one-liners, dirty jokes, storytelling, whatever, you know. It's all different. You know, stories is a weird one. It's hard.

Stories is a weird one because you have stories that are very funny. Right. You have stories that are funny. We'll drop this off here. We'll give some shoutouts and... It's funny how we all have stories, and we have stories that are fucking naturally funny, but we don't want to tell people because it shows our shortcomings. Yeah.

You know, I can't tell people by the time I, my mom used to give me it when I was like three. And my dad first died. My mom would come home at night because she'd take me to the bar with her. So I'd be jazzed up at three in the morning. So my mom would drink Italian red wine, and she would drink a little glass, and then she'd give me a sip. Yeah. And one night I watched to pass out, and I said, fuck, I'm going to get back that glass.

That was something good in that fucking bottle. Sleeperhold. And I went, I drank the fucking bottle. Like, I just drank whatever was in there. And my mom said she woke up in the middle of night. She couldn't find me. She called the cops, and they found me in a closet, puked with shit in my pants,

the whole fucking deal. And that's why I didn't drink for years because of that red wine. Oh, yeah. But who would say that story about themselves? Right, right. Do you follow me? That's the humor in it. When you're telling an awkward story,

I always want to tell a story that has a payout at the end. Yeah, yeah. I want you to see what I fucking learned, and those stories aren't usually very funny. Yeah, I know, right? They're not funny. But there's always little highlights of what happened that are true.

That'll be funny. And we've just got to really think and rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it And then it really works out. But you have to write a lot of stories. You do. So what you have to do is get up. The easiest way to write a story is to go to Facebook and just, what is that, blog post?

Right. And force yourself to write a blog. Every Monday morning it has to be ready. Put up a blog. Just put up a story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One week from music, one week from comedy, one week from a concert, one week from your youth, maybe something you saw your house.

that always struck you kind of weird. When I first moved here, Doug Stanhope would tell me every day in 1997 to start writing my life. Wow. I wish I would have paid attention to him. Because today I would have been Steven Spielberg. Yeah. Just rewriting everything.

I would look at him and go my life. Who fuck, why would I write my life out of this depressing? Yeah, yeah. That's a great, great recommendation. Yeah. And now, Tony, you know, I finally took his advice. When I was into comedy 19 years or something like that. 18 years then, I said, wait a second.

He's on to something. I'm going to start doing that because what happens is while you're writing and stuff about your life, memories come out. Like it dust the cobwebs off and you're like, oh, yeah, that's right. I got a couple buddies that didn't party as hard as I do. So they come around and they, you know, like if I ever write a book, it'll be like Motley Crew the Dirt where I'm telling a story and then the two buddies are on chapters too, you know, like, oh yeah,

What happened was you came over here and you did, you know, and then they can... Erasmidstall. Yeah, Harrowsmith style. From the first, that would be interesting also, but it's also always great to just try to master, you know, you start with two paragraphs. Yeah. And every day you look at it for one hour. One hour. And you'll see that some days at the beginning, but by the end, you'll write one tag.

And that's fine. I've been forcing myself to do that lately, and it's kind of been an adventure. and just go down there, because I got to tell a story on June 20th. Yeah, what, did you pick one yet? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So it's pretty funny. I'm combining three. Yeah.

Okay, there's a certain, like, I need 20 minutes. Yeah. So if I do the first one, it'll be six minutes. Are you telling me to go fuck myself. Right. If I do the second one, the second one will probably be like three minutes. The last one is going to be heavy duty. and I can milk that to 10 minutes.

Right. So if I combine all of them, I can give them 22, 23 minutes. He could cut off five or six in editing, and we have something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried it in Colorado Sunday. I was like, all right, I got the record, you know.

I got it in a can, and I did an hour. And then at the end of the hour, I go, you guys want to hear some new stuff? And they're like, yeah, yeah. So I went into this Tesla story. And I've only done it four times about opening for the band for Tesla. And I felt great. And I was remembering stuff from it that I didn't before.

And it got good all of a sudden. And it was getting good. It didn't matter if you didn't know the band Tesla or anything. That's my whole way of trying to do the story. If you don't know the band Tesla, it's not about that. It's about your rock and roll dreams getting squished. You know what I mean? And, man, I felt great, you know.

And I know you just need to do the stories more and more to get them good. Well, here's the secret. Yeah. Here's the secret. You ready? Yep. You have to write out the story before you go on stage. Just that particular story.

And what you're going to do is you're going to put it in after 20 minutes of your material. Yeah. So they're totally in love with you by that time. You already got them on your side. You've warmed them up. You fingered them. By this time, no matter what you throw at them, they're on your page. You've hypnotized them.

You've taken them under the ether. You're taking them in and out. They got a few cocktails in them. They're rock and rolling. You're reminding them in 1979. Then you drop your story. And it's funny because what you might have on the tip of your tongue while you're writing will come out when 200 eyeballs are watching you. Yeah.

See, a lot of people don't realize the pressure of the eyeballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eyeballs are motherfuckers. And they teach you how to write jokes quickly. That's so true. Ladies and gentlemen, when you look out into an audience and you see 200 eyeballs looking at you, you get real fucking creative. Paid eyeballs.

You get like two cop in the room creative, you know what I'm saying? So where were you? Four in the morning, I was walking up La Sienaiga, and I made it right on. You know, you get like, there was a jewelry store, like you get specific. Yeah. You know, if you're in a sit, you're going to be specific. You understand me? So that's the way you have to think about it, no way.

You have to. So when you go up there, it's real funny. So if you do it five nights in a row, by the end of the week, you have two or three new tags and you have openings. Yeah, you're right there, man. Like, I have to call flappers and the ice house to get, went Thursday night rooms. I'm going to get Thursday night. I'm home for five weeks. I'm utilizing every fucking Thursday.

I'll go with you, man. Either or. I'll try stories. You have to work that muscle, and they have to understand it's a workout type of night. Totally. So I enjoy doing that. I enjoy writing the story out. I'll try that.

And then going, wow, let me go on stage with it. You know, I enjoy doing spots at the store, and I enjoy doing flappers. But I got to tell you what, last week I did two hours. I did an hour at the ice house. I did an hour up in Bakersfield at a... Timbler. Timber Broom Company, which is a fucking great place. Yeah?

Great comedy place. Try to get yourself booked there. I will. It's a rock and roll. type of place and fucking strong beer like it's like 12%

You drank some beer? No, but everybody else around me chicken beer They're fucked up Yeah, yeah But it's funny how different it is To do 15 minutes

Four nights in a row Than doing two hours Two nights in a row It's such a different animal So I'm done I'm done I can't When I get stuck in town

It takes like the first weekend Who has me on the road It's brutal for them on Thursday night Yeah. Because that's the first hour I fucking do in a month or four weeks, which as a headliner, you cannot do that to yourself. I was just talking about that. You cannot do that to yourself.

So I'm done with it. Instead of chasing fucking every night going to spots, fuck you. I'd rather just work the muscle, the full fucking muscle, so you know where you stand. You go up on stage, you charge them five bucks a Tuesday night and you fucking talk to your assholes purple. Yeah.

And they opened up a little open mic around the corner here. It's like eight to ten. chairs, no booze, couple of sodas. It's next to a sushi place. Oh, yeah? With the rats over there, you know what I'm talking about? It's got the Z rating. You go in there, they give you a fucking discount at the hospital.

Oh, my God. Nah. You use Code Sick, and they give you a discount at the hospital. Let me give some shoutouts real quick. How about my man, Joe Conchetta, whatever your fucking name is? Your buddy told me they give you a shout-out, cock sucker. Patrick Bergerham. Raff Lauren, Cameron Sordmayer, Danny Mendoza,

David Penns or Perez, I don't know, make your choice. Shut up to Mosey. I gotta fucking know your name now. R.G. Madden, J. Rama, loving you. Chris O'Hara, Robert Bred, and my main man, Johnny Letters, Dante Gazzini. You know what I'm saying? Dante, who's better than you?

Do not forget, like I told you, motherfuckers on the Paris Scope that Tickets for Saturday Even though the Golden State Warriors are playing Utah, they're pretty much close to sold out. So if you don't get them by now, you have to sit Friday, fucking early show at 8 o'clock. That's when the

Mormons are coming with the drums. They're giving up business cards. I love that club. That club is phenomenal. I'm fucking excited about going there. What are you nuts or what? That's 20 in a life no parole, cucked. Dean Del Rizzi and shit. Oh, man.

Take the CDs. Yeah, I did a vinyl. Smacking bitches. Road rash, I'm calling it. Good for you, man. I'm very fucking excited to call yourself a friend. You're a hard worker. I love you, dude.

Anybody else in this town is walking around waiting for something to fucking hit him in the head with a brick. And I really got to tell you, you like me? I said that, and Lee, actually, when I disjumped, like a brick is coming. It's got to rub this head.

Oh, my God, Lee. Lee, you need another star. I'm watching. I love it, man. You know, like I was telling Marin, I go, you, or Marin, Burr, you, you know, yeah, I begged to open for you guys because it's the hang. We don't get to hang at all. I was telling Eric Griffin that today.

It came over and did the podcast, which, by the way, incredible show, dying up here, that Showtime show coming out, you know, about the store of that book and everything. Eric's in it and Santino and Al Magical. It's coming out. saw a couple episodes. I felt so proud of those guys, but I was telling you know it's about like

I, you know, at 44 I didn't have these friends and now I have these new friends for like the last seven years and I just want to hang because you know I'm single and everything and everybody's busy but I'm like man, let's hang and listen to Rick or whatever so when I go on the road with you

or Mark or Burr or whatever it's like it's just a great hang you know like to be out there and like hey let's hit this record story you know like i was with mary in denver i'm like oh i scored this you know and he's over there scoring he scored some crazy record he just liked the cover we threw it on we're like what this is incredible it was some band and we're like listen to this guy sounds like rod stewart it was rod he was singing on this dude's uh record that played with the stones and stuff as a studio musician and m mclaughlin what's that i'm mcglockland no no i get it for you let me look up

photo was this uh it was this dude we'd never heard of and it was uh you know that kind of stuff i love the the hang you know um it's just it's just so it's just so different you know let me find this record oh my god it was like i was like what is this record me maybe you can fire it up too so it's so funny but i started giggling as soon as lee started smiling he knew i was watching He did the shoulder shake. Stop, buddy. You don't eat another star. No, I don't eat another star.

Look at the shaving me right now. There's nothing wrong with you. Lee ate 11 stars. Don't eat it. I did. I had 11 stars and the blueberry thing. I tricked you. No, you didn't trick me.

I counted. That's a skinny one here. God damn, no stars smell good. I was stuck in one. I want to go. It dropped on the side of me there. Oh, good. It's on the floor.

No. Don't worry. We'll eat that one later here. We'll eat that one later. Big stomach. Why are you throwing him like a baseball? We'll eat that one later. Sure.

I put a tomorrow. I think it's nice and hard tomorrow. I got to find this. The TAC is on fucking fire on that thing. Where the fuck is this record, man? Oh, bumming. I don't see the photo. I took a photo of it so I'd buy it.

This sucks. You ever notice that? Like, you look at your thing and the photos just see me. to disappear. Did you find it, Mark? No, I don't know what anything is on. I found the record. Oh, wait, I think I see one. I think I see one.

Check this out, Joey. Python Lee Jackson. Here's the cover. It looks like nothing, right? It just looks like a Dylan record or something. He just fucking scores this. We put it on. The record's called In a Broken Dream.

Right by the computer right there. See? One fell right out of the sky. Harry Star. fucking day. It's got some hair on it. Don't worry about nothing. You're still running. Lee, look this up. Python Lee Jackson. That's a special one. Go ahead. Python leave Jackson? Yeah, check this guy out, man. He played with the stones. He played with Rod Stewart. All these guys. So when he did a record, he just cashed in and had all his buddies come play on it. And Mary got it for $3. This record is fucking worth getting. It looks like this. Python League. You're going to love this, Jerry. It's like faces.

Sounds like the faces. It's like dirty blues. Interesting. Yeah, I know. I couldn't believe it, man. And it was so funny, I were like, oh, this guy's totally ripping Rod Stewart. And then we look later and it says,

guess vocalist, Rod Stewart? That's crazy, though. I guarantee if you look that guy up. Yeah. He was from close to that recording studio where Linner's recorded. Oh, Muscle Shoals. And the Stones recorded there.

And they also recorded at a fucking different studio. you're in Tennessee. Yeah. Somewhere at the Stone. Somewhere in Nashville or Memphis. Right, right. It's Memphis, they record. Right.

Oh, yeah, like the Sun Studios. Yeah, something there. Yeah. These are those guys that they spoke about in those books. There it is right there. That were fucking tremendous. Right? Tremendous.

You're like, who are these guys? That's just, they just probably had heroin addictions. Yeah. And they couldn't keep it together. But you tell them be that Tuesday, we'll save you a bag of the good shit. The shit keeps riches that? Yeah, listen to this shit. Yeah, turn it up a little.

70s rock. Wait, eat the fucking thing already. There's hairs on it. It's fine. The hair's a good for you. That's okay. The hair's a good for you. Put some water on it.

Go ahead. Eat the fucking thing. Multiple people. Every day I spend my time. This is fucking great. 12 stars. Because you're going to fuck around all weekend and tell me fairy tales. I only eat 11 stars.

I don't know what happened. How many stars are going to eat? Because that's when you've got to go deep. It's on Friday and Saturday. I do. I take 10 stars usually. No, you don't. I call you and give me some bullshit story.

I have 1,400. No idea. You just went under the fucking thing. Oh, shit, you got chocolate left, too. Let's do a blueberry. Let's not deal with blueberry. Did you eat that fucking thing yet? Where is it?

What's in your head? Blackstone. Don't be... on the zucchini out. Don't they taste like yummy gummy berries, man? I mean, why are you always choking? Not 12 in. Oh shit.

We still got some more left in shit. It could be D-Day for both of us, these. How do you like this, man? It's cool. Very cool. Oh. Please, Sire, vomit, launch.

Swallow the fucking thing. Put it down. This is the most coherent I've seen Lee. In a long time. I've tried to gain something with those stars. No double acid. One of the good ones with the hands. Oh, my God.

Let me tell you something. Most people need to go to comedy clubs to laugh. Yeah. I have to. Thank goodness. He's the funniest guy I know right now. He makes me laugh. Lee makes me laugh on the Nats.

I can do a show where we could get them high. Just put a camera on Lee. I narrate over it, what I'm thinking. And then put it up once a week, a half hour show. The Lee Dog Show. The Lee Dog Show. Him just get eating fucking 2,000 milligrams and all the changes he goes. Two and one goes to him.

Because we need to get the camera. Hey, did you have two? We need to put the camera in his mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To see what he's really thinking. While you guys are talking, I'm paying attention to you. But my left eye is watching them like, oh, okay? And I see him look up and breathe heavy, and I can see what his mind is thinking about.

And then he'll give you one of these. Yeah, sometimes he gives you Jewish guilt. The first one is the Jewish guilt if my mom sees this, whatever I thought. I've never once said that. No, you didn't have to say it, but you've thought about it. Just because you didn't say it, don't mean you're not thinking about it. Does your mom watch the podcast at all? can't get through the opening, thank goodness.

So that's one. She likes it. It's just, it's not... No, she can't watch this. And it's good. Yeah, it's good. I don't... I don't teach her how to do it. Oh, good. You don't want your mom to watch the show. I don't. I don't understand.

Like, the other day I went to do a show and a kid, some girl talked to this kid before you went on stage, and the pregnant girlfriend was there, and she ran up to the stage and was mad, and he came to me, and I go, this is why you don't bring your girlfriend to the fucking comedy show. especially if she's ain't much pregnant. There's work and there's business. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. I'm going to work. You don't go to work. Yeah. A lot of people don't understand that at first. They don't understand that concept. So something goes down with your wife or your girlfriend. Same with rock and roll.

I always had this rule. You know, no girls, no girlfriends. You know, they're like, why, man? It's like, dude, this is like, we're here at work. Yeah, we're here at work. And they just distract. They want to light your cigarette. Next you know, they want to play the fucking tambourine.

Yeah. I don't want nobody to fucking play a tambourine. If I want a tambourine player, I would have hired one in the fucking newsweek. Tambourine. Yeah, everybody wants to be a fucking tambourine player. I don't need no tambourine player. How are you doing, my little brother, Lysai? I know it's early league.

I shouldn't be asking you. What do you got playing for the weekend? For this weekend? Yeah, what are the big plans? Let's hear this fucking hoopla of death here. It's early, dude. I haven't even planned shit, to be honest with the last. I love you. You're very spontaneous.

She comes home, she tells you, she wants to go to Pismo Beach. You packed the car. I was the one who found Pismo Beach. Pizmo Beach, which is great. I can tell you found Pizmo Beach. You're the type of dude that would find Pizmo Beach. I love me. He goes, I already found Pismo Beach. I found it. Pismos

Beach. He didn't. He didn't find nothing. He found Pismo Beach through Yelp. No, I didn't. I found out by driving up the coast. Where was this? When I went to go set up the studio. What studio? at the two girls are homeschool That's right

Home school anyway Oh you want to hear this new band These kids No no no I want to hear by you brother I want to hear by you Forget the bands All right If I want to fucking Dick

What's his name? Who's that What's American band's name? Oh Dick Clark If I want Dick Clark How fucking summons this story Dick Clark

Where are you at this weekend This weekend I'm at the store all weekend Are you doing a lot of traveling Yes and no You're on the road Oh man It's scary right

right now I got a whole fucking summer of nothing. And nothing. I'm just like, wow. I got, I got with you at Perea, and then nothing after that, which is like scary, man. I'm like calling. That's good because everything good comes last.

Are they doing oddball again? No, it doesn't look like this year. I think they're going to take a year off. I mean, I could be wrong, but I haven't heard anything, you know. I wish man that'd be great to get on something like that you know any chance of you popping on this

deaf leopard poison tour oh man there were seven minutes that would be great in between I think they should get a I know my my friend John Salami

was supposed to be doing the photography like helping out oh yeah during the tour I know they're on tour yeah they are I've heard it a couple times

on uh they're playing way the fuck out there by uh where the US festival was you know like out there by on Tario Improv. Okay. Yeah, they're out there.

I'm, uh, May 21st, I'm doing Rock on the Range with Jim Brewer and Metallica. That's fucking cool. Now, where's that at? In Columbus, Ohio, a one-nighter, you know, uh, rock on the range is three days. One day, Sound Garden headlining. The next day is, uh, corn, and the third day is Metallica. I'm doing the Metallica Day. Jesus Christ.

Fucking fired up. All, all these bands are on there that I love, like Gorgira, rival sons, uh, all these great fucking bands are playing that day and you get that killer all access I'll just I'll try to get some podcasting going on after my set with some rock stars you know and enjoy Metallica man I can't wait to see that

You know it's funny because when I called you and I said listen I was all high one night and I called Dean I go Dean here it is when you come back with doing fucking let there be right I told him no I'm lying to you people I go Dean I listen to an album that changed my life I'm embarrassed because I forgot about this fucking album. And you're like, what

is it? I'm like, let there be wrong. You're like, listen, why do you think I name my podcast that? Why do you think I have a tattoo of my body? Because it's that good. And I'm like, Jesus, at least there's... And I called some friends at home. And I suggested that one of my friends called me back and he goes, oh my God.

He goes, I found myself crying. He goes, I found myself at a parking lot. We used to go to the Binghamton boat. There was this boat that was ratty when we were kids used to. Oh. You could take your girlfriend out to dinner there, but nobody went to dinner. We just went back there to drink beers and maybe get a hand job and stuck your tin or something out in the way that.

Yeah. But you could hear the rat scratching. No. The bottom of the car, the rats from the Hudson River. Oh. It was one of the scariest fucking things you could ever, you know, like you're sitting there making out with a girl. And you hear like, and you hear like, yeah. You would even hear like, get out of here.

like they would make little noises. And they'd be like three or four of them out there, but they would be ginormous. That'd be the size of my fucking cats. Oh, man. They'd scratch and they'd get in the fucking car. Those subway rats like you see in New York wall. How many, how, it is,

listen, man, the rat problem back there. I have friends that live in, like, fancy buildings, and they say that the rats start to come out at five in the afternoon. No, there's something. Where do they come out? They don't come on in their apartments, do they? No, at the parks. with their kids.

Okay. It's crazy. Yeah. I don't go to parks. I don't go to parks. No, you would never go to a park. Sometimes I'm walking home from the stand, wherever I'm staying, and they got garbage day, and there's just thousands of garbage bags on the street.

People don't understand. In New York, you just, you put your garbage on the street, and they pick it up. And you'll be walking, and all of a sudden, like, whoa, what the fuck? There'd be like three of them battling over an old piece of pizza. And you're like, oh, you just scare the shit out of you. And they just look at it. Like, get out of here, we're eating, you know? Bro, I hate all that shit.

I see a rat, a mouse. Oh, I'm done. That's why I'm happy I got cats. I'll take that cat piss smell and you wake up at two in the morning, high as fuck. You got a sip of soda. You look on your counter, you see a little, you see Mickey Mouse on your fucking counter.

Yeah. Nothing shocks your value like that. And then, like, a week later, you see two or three of them. Oh, yeah. That's when it gets ugly when they start multiplying quickly. And then you're doomed. Yeah, Red Band had that fucking problem in his apartment. Oh, that's fucking horrible.

And he had the cameras sit up and you could watch him. The one trap hit the one that was like, yeah, yeah, it got away, and it was like, fucked. It's paralyzed to have its body. Oh, no. You ever see that footage? No, I didn't know. It's epic. That shit is fucking crazy.

The screaming and it's doing it's going, yeah. And he actually picks the fucking thing up with his little feet and sticks his head out, and you see him limping out, Lee. It's hysterical. Yeah, he's like, I'm out of here, you fuckers. You motherfucker, you send a trap. And his cousins are yelling from where you at. He's like, don't come back here.

They got fucking landmines. Fuck this dude. Let's go back and get more. Oh, my God. I felt bad for him, man. When I was a kid, my godmother's husband, Raul. We had three buildings. Raul, I love that name.

Raul was a bad motherfucker. He was a Cuban dude. I love Raul. Raul was married to Beva, my godmother. And I would go up there and spend a weekend with him. Yeah. And I would say... Well.

I will tell you this story and you guys might believe me you might not there. There was three buildings there there was 148 Street Broadway they owned the building on the side the building next to the hobby store and then in between

in those days it was like a I don't know like a paint store or something they owned that building yeah and there was an underground tunnel to all three buildings all right to connect all three buildings plus some some people

threw garbage in that shoot so on a certain day you had to pull the thing out and then the guy would come down and there was a path. But after a few weeks of living there, I learned all the fucking paths to that. There was a boiler behind there, and supposedly a drug dealer lived upstairs and threw $10,000 back there.

So me and my buddies would get flashlights and jump over the boiler. And one day we looked over Lee, and I saw a rat with eyes as big as you're both the guys. Oh, my goodness. This thing, oh, that's what it looked like to me at the age of 10. I fucking ran home and I never went back there.

The rat problem was so bad back there at night. Raul got a wolf dog. Like one of those dogs that was half wolf. Oh yeah. He would just tear him apart. You'd go in there in the morning and there'd be fucking rats torn apart. The wolf would have claws on his face. The only person he liked was Raul.

He hated me. I mean, they had him on a chain with bolts in the wall. This dog was a fucking. A real killer. Wild. And when you went back there, you look at you and he started fucking running

on the walls. He would salivate from his mouth and shit. He was... Rat killer. They just... He lived downstairs. Like, you know how people

have those sex slaves? Yeah, yeah. Keep him in the back. This dog was so mean. They kept them in the basement. Just the dungeon dog. And he only took him out at night. Like, he only saw darkness.

And he'd have to go out with, like, a mask and shit. Fucking hysterical. I forgot all that. That's fucking. What would the dog? What what the fuck? A Lowell.

That was his name. Lowell. Lowell. Lobo. Lobo. His name was Lobo. Oh, Lobo. Yeah.

How long did Lobo last? Like six months? Lobo died like some weird poisoning. Some rat had poisoning. Lobo ate the wrong thing. He ate the rat from Africa. They had poison in his fang and shit. He had a spider on his back or something.

No, I can't. Lobo. Dead spider. Oh, my God. I can't. I don't remember how he died. I don't remember how he died. I know I'd be traumatized.

Because they had two dogs. They had Lobo, then they had Lassie. Oh, and Lassie was the collie that, yeah, Lassie lived in the house. They fed him fucking treats. He was allowing him to furniture.

Dirty rat eater was downstairs. Lobo was fucking, you could even keep him. At night, I remember, like, sometimes you'd lock the door, and he'd be bouncing on the fucking door. Wow. Like, you'd think he was going to knock in and eat you.

Well, you'd have to talk shit. You have to think so. No, we'd separate them because he'd kill Lassie. Yeah, but Lassie must be like, how hot I'm in here. I could tell the couch. Lassie was a beautiful dog. I know, that's all point. We used to have to walk Lassie first, then put Lassie in, and then he'd have to go in, put a mask on Lobo.

A mask. Yeah, like a restless mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He might not have been known about Lassie. Natcho LeBray mask. You could just smell Lassie because they couldn't smell. They just knew he just knew that you had another dog right before him. He's like, Nacho Lobo.

Natural Lobo! It was fucking crazy, how tough that dog was. Just some closing facts on Let There Be Rock that I found a couple weeks ago, which were really, that'll add to Bon Scott's... Bon Scott wrote a lot of these songs based on real things. And when there's a song, a whole lot of Rosie, he based on this Tasmanian woman that weighed 266 pounds

that went up to him and told him she had slept with 29 stars that month. and next thing you know he woke up and he was pinned against the wall and Rosie had fucked the shit of him and she was whispering to him he was number 30 pretty interesting stories online and then the one go down

go down it was a girl named Ruby Lips that was a groupie and she sucked everybody's dick Oh yeah because it's like Ruby Ruby where you've been so long Yeah yeah yeah Those boys been drinking whiskey Ever since you've been gone

Look at these Ain't no one I know Do it where you do Liggin on that lucky stick The way you do I love that Take a hit of the bun. Let you stop and knock it off it.

I just love that man You got the touch Yeah No it's a It's really interesting things But the most Interesting was that on the One of the guitar solos

While they were taping it The speakers actually went on fire. Oh yeah, the amp. The amp caught on fire. Yeah. And they were actually looking at Bond. Not Bond. Angus. Angus looked over and his brother told him, keep playing. Don't worry about the fucking amps going on fire.

Yeah, that's like problem child or something. Yeah, the amp caught fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just phenomenal, real fucking music that, listen, man, like I said, after Brian Johnson came on, I caught them a few times. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. Yeah, yeah. I think I caught him three times after me.

Because the Angus was just spectacular a lot. Totally. It really was spectacular. Just a freaking nature, man. Yeah, from beginning to end. And he, I don't know, it was like the weirdest thing. I'm very happy I came up at that time. And I got to see the bands.

I got to see, I don't, I wouldn't want to see ACDC at Coachella. No, yeah. Like, I was blessed to see him at the garden with Bond Scott. Yeah. And I'm really fucking happy. You know, I'm happy? A lot of times in those days I would go to concerts

and I didn't know what was going on. That concert, I knew exactly what was going on. They played a couple of them. They played this. They played a couple songs from my way to hell. They played Sin City. In those days, they were the opening act. They played seven or eight songs,

but they closed with not Bad Boy Boogie, but the other one. Let the Be Rock? And he would jump on his shoulders. Oh, yeah, go through the crowd. Yeah, and go through the crowd. It was just, Again, you left those shows and you felt something.

Well, also, it was weird to see Bonn back then, you know. Just he had tattoos and no one had him, a big old parrot. You know, these giant tattoos on them. They were giant. Like, when he came on, you're like, what is that guy? Like, you didn't see that. It looked like an old salty sailor up there with the cut off Levi Vest, you know? Remember years ago when he died, they did a story about him in a circus.

Yeah. that I read like 200 times. Yeah. He was like, like you said, he was really a circus freak in those days. Totally. Because he was 15 years elder. Yeah.

To anybody else in the band at that time. But he was so fucking talented. Angus and his brother was so talented. And they came together at such a great time. And those, you know, again, I talk about Pink Floyd and, you know, I always talk about their brilliance. There's anybody can put a special together,

but put four fucking, brilliant. I know I couldn't do it. I could never fucking do it. I would love to tell you, I can write four specials back to back to back to back. That could be brilliant.

I don't think anybody's done it lately. I've just been mouth watering. You know, it's very tough or whatever you judge. But people in those days, like Pink Floyd, ACDC, just the fucking... Yeah. I consider Let There Be Rock, Power Rage,

and Highway to Hell, three fucking masterpieces. I don't know why. Masterpieces. Me too. Also, you've got to think about imagine, like, let's say, a band like Zeppelin.

The first one, they're like an acid rock blues band, first and two, you know? Then the third one, they got all the acoustic songs and stuff, you know? So that would be equivalent to, like, say,

you go see Louis C.K. And his first special is this way. But then the second special... Is a prop. A prop. And then the third one... would be like all one-liners, you know? And then the next one would be all crowdwork.

All these special would be totally different. Like, comics don't do that. They have a voice, and that's their voice throughout their career that, you know, through their eyes. But imagine if a comic did that, like, this special is going to be all one-liners. I've never done it. I'm going to try it. And then the next one, you know, like Todd Barry did that crowdwork record and tour, that's cool. But I'm saying, imagine each record was completely a different style, you know, or your style.

but like tweaked big time. It's pretty interesting to think about, you know. Neil Brennan had that special. That was three different. It's my favorite. Three mics? Unbelievable. Super original, you know?

Excuse me, I just got to take a tickle. What do you think? Yeah, man. Super original. So it's pretty cool. I mean, it seems that there's a lot of comics now who are doing different shows. Like, I really like how Bert has the

Colum Sick to Work shows. Yeah. And, like, Doug Benson does the work. 20 shows. It's just, it's interesting to see. And so, like, are you doing, like, rock clubs a lot? Or, like, what do you... Are you... Because it seems like you're doing, like, legit clubs a lot more. Yeah, you know,

like, uh, a lot of people think I should do rock clubs, you know? But I spent my life in rock clubs. Right. I enjoy the comedy club. You know what I mean? Because... They bring your food. Well, no, it's not that. It's like people understand we're in a comedy club. This is what it is.

Sometimes you're in a rock club. They're like, all right. Yeah, do that one joke. You know? They're like yelling out and stuff. Right. It's a temp. They'll stomp on your punchlines by accident, you know, but you're like, oh, fuck. I was just going to deliver that. And you screamed out, acer-dacey, you know what I mean?

It's a different animal, you know? I enjoy the comedy clubs. I like the, usually a lot of them are just set up so cool. Like that comedy works this weekend, man. It's just set up so amazing. I couldn't imagine not, you know, working in there and doing a rock club around corner it would be a bummer you know right i'm actually i'm going to interested to listen to the podcast you did with the owner because there's not many individual clubs around the country anymore or major

individual clubs they're all changed yeah yeah yeah you said you were banned from the uh comedy works you know you look in hindsight and you look what people do and i was very honest to start at the comedy works in denver until this day you saw the smile on my face Yeah. I came from Goodstock, you know. I was living in Boulder, and I was scared to go on stage. I got locked up, and one day I went down there and got on stage, and Matt Woods was down there when I talked to him,

and I went back and did a few open mics. It just went on, and I left, and when I came back, I got really serious. I had a daughter in Boulder. I'm like, wow, if I get into the Comedy Works, and I started getting Star-Spots. Everything was cool and danny, and then one night, one thing led to another

and we used to hang out there afterwards again this is why I tell comics at certain levels do your thing get the fuck out of it yeah why why can't I party okay do what you want to do this is why because I was there after I was and the true story

was that there was a girl she was a stripper she was kind of crazy real cute that was friends but I knew bro it was like a you're open mic mic troop right it was me and Jeff and Jimmy Abeda and this other dude

but the other dude I didn't know like there was like six of us in this crew but the one dude dug me but didn't but didn't and we were at the same level me and him were at the same level and one night we're at this comedy works

and we're having a good time and I see I get a star spot that means that you're in open mic but you come down Wednesday you do six minutes in front of Wendy and all of a sudden Wendy he heard Wendy tell me, do you want to go get a drink?

I think Steve McGrew was in town. We're going to go around the corner of the Mexican place and meet Steve McGrew. I could tell he didn't like that. And about a week later, I'm there after I was on a Tuesday, and I'm walking up the steps, and the girl's walking down the, and she just comes in from dancing. Oh, the fuck she goes, Joey, how are you? She runs down the steps, and she jumps up, and she grabs me, I grab, oh, my hands land behind her ass. Yeah.

She doesn't say nothing. The next day, he called her. And he goes, listen, he grabbed your ass last night. You should press charges and shit. So she got an attorney and called down there. And then I got banned. Wow. And it was tough for her to call me and go, you're banned for life.

I had to make a choice at that time. I could either stay in Denver and do the three B clubs. Yeah. Or move it up a little bit. So I went up to Seattle, and that's how I hooked up with Josh Wolf and old boys. But then I saw her on the whatever tour. Oddball? Oddball tour.

Yeah. I was in Denver opening, and she came over to me, and she asked me how I was doing. I go, good, how are you? And she goes, are you mad at me? And I go, not at all. Can I talk to you for a second? You know, the best, the reason I'm an oddball is because you banned me. Yeah.

And she goes, what are you talking about? I go, listen, man, if I were to stay in Denver, I would end up hurting somebody. I would end up hurting my daughter's mother or the boyfriend. and I would have been doing, I would have just been getting that right now. Were you kidding? I go, you banned me and you made me make a decision. I told you guys that when I was in, in 93, I believed that much. And by 95, I had saw the short damage I had done by committing.

Yeah. Just three quarters more into this career. And next to, you know, I was on an HBO Locos tour. I was taping this I was headl I was featuring here You know they were country western bars But I was putting up money in my pocket So I said Jesus if I commit by this point

Can you imagine now and awesome boom set back I get banned from the A room in town That's the room you want to play That's the room that you strive To do 15 minutes and four nights a week Right And at that time I was a little far away from there But I was on my way

I was getting star spots bitch Yeah I was a week or two away from getting made a regular and now I was in the rotation. So you don't get spots all the time. Yeah. But you get one spot a week for seven minutes and one for 15 minutes. When she told me she took that from me, I had nothing going on in Boulder. Yeah.

Time to move on. I was just going to fucking get into my, I was just going to get into worse trouble than I was already in. And I made a decision. I said, fuck it. Let me go to Seattle. And I gunned it out up there. I ended up here. And it's incredible.

But once I thanked her for that, I worked the improv, and I did okay numbers. And my agent goes, if you did that at the improv, you do a lot better at that comedy voice. It's amazing. It was like double. Wow. Because people didn't want to go to the Denver, for some reason, they're scared that they consider it a black club. I thought it was a great club. Right.

I'd just rather play at the works. The works is where I came up. It's the first club I got on stage. Totally. And I'm really surprised how open they are. to Debt Squad. Yeah. They really give love to that

so it's great. It's great. It's great. It's a great club. I love it, man. I'm happy that Wendy gives you love. Do you do the other club also in the suburbs?

Once in a while. Is it really rough how they say? No, I like it. It's great. The problem is, like Wendy said on my podcast, when you got the number one room, if this room was the, a second club was in another town,

you'd be like, that's the number one room in that town. You know what I mean? But when you got the number one room, you're going to compare it to the other one, but they're both fucking great. One's like a mini-theater, and the other one's a cave downstairs.

But they're both great animals. I've had some great shows at that South Club, man. Great ones, you know? It's just bigger, so it's hard for someone like me to fill. But I did it like nine nights with Russell Peters, and it was smoking, you know? I'm proud of you. You're a savage. You got your first CD.

Yeah. Things are moving forward. Hopefully, all you need is an agent. really in an attorney and you'll be fun. You're right. You're right. Number two, I'm really happy you had this album. This album

fucked with me for like five or six days. That's incredible. Every day I had to focus on one song. Yeah. Like the first day was Bad Boy Boogie. The second day was hell in a bad place to be.

You know, and I listened to the guitar and how dirty it was. And then I read up on it, and George Young and the other guy Wanda wanted to make it sound like, that and it's true what you said they wanted to compete with punk but again where would they see DCB today if bonds got live would they be bigger you think they would have done what they did well he'd be old as fuck yeah I mean because he was so much older so is Brian fucking Johnson

why did they get rid of him what was the inside school man I don't know but he you know they said it was his ears but you know his ears yeah he was going deaf or whatever I just still don't believe that. I still don't believe that. I mean, I'm sure he had a little ear problem. He said he was going deaf. You think it's an inside job? What do you think it is?

No, I think it was he, this is what I personally think. I think he agreed to do this last record, and he said, I'll do this record, and then we'll do the tour. And that should be probably it for us, because, you know, we're pretty fucking old. And I think they did the tour and the record,

And Angus went, hey, I'm only 62. I'm going to keep going. And then just, you're out. You know what I mean? That's what I think. How old is Brian Johnson? I think he's like, what is he? Like 68? I'm almost positive he's 68.

You know, let's look that up. That's impressive and scary at the same time. Yeah, right? But they can only do those stadium shows twice a week. Yeah. That'll break a man. What do you got there? 68?

Oh, no. yet, hold on. 47, so how old is that? 1947. Should say it right there on the right, his age. 69. 69. Yeah, your bones start to crack him a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know,

he doesn't drink anymore, does he? I think he drinks, yeah, he just doesn't get crazy, but yeah, he likes those pints. I always hear him talking about pints. But I saw him in this last tour twice, no, three times, and he was fucking phenomenal. So, I

was like, whoa, this is the best. I've seen him in 25 years. I was so blown away. I was like, how the fuck does this guy sound this good this year, you know? Him and Axel both sounded killer out on tour. I'm like, this is crazy. So I was floored when I heard he had problems because I was like, wow, this guy's killing it.

You've got to remember. You've been doing comedy, how long now? Seven years. Okay, I've been doing it 26 years. And you learn the tricks later on. Yeah, yeah. You know, you watch on stage, it's as professional as can be. But you figure he's been playing

big time room since 1980. Isn't that crazy? Since July 29th, July 31st of 1980, when his career started, when they first took Back and Black on tour. What is that? That's 20 years there. That's 37 years

of touring. Unbelievable. He has to be just good and just, I don't know how to describe. I don't know. The musicians have like a, just a little secrets. Just ninja, you know? Yeah, put this on a little louder, lower the light here. When I sing this, do this, I'm going to do a trick.

Yeah. I'm going to turn my head. Yeah. Back in black, black, yeah. You know, all that. You know, look. Look at him. Back in black, hit the sag.

Bit the long long guy to feed back, you know what I mean? Yeah, he gets away with it. So that's the other side of professionalism. Yeah. That you figure out different rooms. You figure out different tricks. Yep. And that's what putting the fucking dime in.

That's not from... Listen, when you go to Scotland and play like this, they went around the fucking world. You got to survive. So, yeah. Figure out how to survive. Yeah, that's... Those guys have stories for fucking days.

So where you at? You're with me in June. Yeah. At the Bray Improv. Yeah, I can't wait. And then I'm doing Rock on the Range of you there. I'll be on the Sunday day. And then, do I have anything else?

Oh, I'm going to be with Burry. in July two dates at Grand Rapids July 14th and 15th that's all I got pretty much oh no one run here June 14th through the 18th

House of Comedy Minnesota oh shit yeah headline in my spot that's a good fucking spot I've never done it I'm looking for you're gonna have a good time that's a good club that would be great and Grand Rapids is sensational oh yeah that's the home of the world champion what's his name Grand Rap?

Who's fighting Conno McGregor? Mayweather. Mayweather. Mayweather. Yeah, it's fucked up, Lisa. I am. Dude, thank you for having me. What's for dinner tonight, Bongo?

What's up? What are you making, Blue Bonnet? What are you making Blue Angel? Whatever. I don't know. Whatever I get when I get home, we'll probably just pass out. You're not passing out tonight, Doug. You're eating fucking.

Oh, no, I had a blueberry, so what did I have? Blueberry. 24, 25. Listen, who counts the blueberry? You burned that off at the gym today. You did the elliptical today, right? Right. How many calories did you burn the elliptical?

I don't know. I don't put it in the thing. 300? I don't put it in the... He's gone now. He's just mumbling now. No, I don't put my... I don't log into the thing.

You don't want to know your cat. You just sit there and without the... No, no, sit on. You just logged there without the thing. I just go for an hour. You don't do no. fucking hour, cucks up. No, no, I used to

My spies are there. They tell me you do 10 minutes. I don't do 10 minutes. I usually do 45. I usually do it. The other day, doing 20, slow. 20.

Like you were dying. And shit, you got a towel on your neck. Acting like fucking. I've never once put a towel on my name. No, that was you. He took a picture and said it over to me. Show me this picture? I erase everything.

You know me. I don't want no californ. You don't erase nothing. You don't know how to erase. I don't know collateral. You should. you're going in for 20 minutes you're doing out

you bullshit I don't do it He goes out He talks to Paul He hangs on the thing Talking to him She doesn't She goes at 6 in the morning

What are you talking about I've been jimming it up man I can tell you're a yoke motherfucker No sugar still Fuck one year Two days ago So what's the breakfast At no sugar man's house

I usually wake up And I have a protein shake And then I eat some What's in this protein show? It's a, Vega 1, so it's all mixed vegan protein shake. It's a company Vega 1. I love it. And then I'll eat

fruit like strawberries and blueberries and then some, you know, a little bit of small, a little bit of oatmeal. So steel cut. That's my breakfast. And then lunch, some salmon with brown rice or

some chicken and black beans and brown rice, something like that. And then dinner, some kind of quinoa, you know. Yeah, I love it. He flew back, whoa, whoa, whoa, keenwa. Every time a person says, Keenwa, yeah.

It's a stab through my heart. I get three, I lose three minutes in time right now. I said, Kinawa sounds like a martial art, right? It's like, if you watch the U.S.C., it'd be like, judo, kung fu, and Kienwa. I don't know what fucking Kewa sounds like. It just don't sound good. It doesn't sound like something I like to eat.

I just saw it once. I know it ain't for me. It's fucking good, dude. You might as well. me huskis-cus and shoot me in the fucking head backwards. Fuck. What's all those kuskis is just rice?

Kewk is great. Kusk is just rice. I like kuskis. I can't wait till they show a picture you one day with a bag over your head over there, Nisysivil. Ice is a machine gun to your fucking head eating kuskis.

I can't wait, cock suck. You'll be thinking of me. You'll never eat kusk again if you're out of here. I love it. I'm off to the store, dude. All right, motherfucker. Because this show is brought to you by Onit. Explain it to me. Joey, break it down for a motherfucker.

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Joey, why would I have a portable bidet? Why? Because you don't want to have asshole rot. You don't want to have hemorrhoid. You don't want to have hemorrhoid. You don't want to have strains, things lurking in your asshole. It all starts with fucking health and cleanliness.

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It's both. Lee Syed, I love you. Don't forget, wise guys. Salt Lake City. Friday, Saturday, Cinco de Mayo. Mexicans invade. Mother fucking Salt Lake City. Number two, next week,

Milwaukee, Turner Hall, Friday night. A few tickets left. call. Don't hit me up on Twitter. Joey, we got no tickets. I told you. Get the fucking tickets now. But you wanted to play fucking possum. Anyway, I love you guys. Thank you very much for listening.

Thank you for the support. Thank you for being there for us, motherfuckers. Lee Syatt, throw my kiss, cocksucker. There you go. We love you. Stay black. I'll see you guys at Wise Guys this weekend. Thank you for listening. Now it all began, it just seemed like giving, so I did it back and all again.