The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #481 - George Perez

Episode Date: May 16, 2017

George Perez, Comedian and actor, seen on the Joe Rogan Experience and MTV''s, "Yo Mama", joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 1 month free.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 05/15/2017.  

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Bam! Are you fucking kidding me or what? And you were sitting there thinking I'm gonna have a bad day, your fucking momo. Uncle Joe is here. George Perez is here. The flying Jew is here. Let's do this shit.

What's happening? Welcome to Podcastville. Uncle Joey here. George Perez in the house. What's up? Lee Syatt. We're already on fire here. Bong hits, whatever the fuck you call it.

We were talking about sugar daddies. Excuse me, when I was 26, it was the first time I found out about it. And, like, I was in shock. I felt bad for the guys. Like, I was hearing this from a stripper that I was dating. And she was just blabbing to me this shit. And then she told me a story where she had a sugar daddy in college that paid her car payment, paid her rent, and lit her pussy on fire once a week or something like that.

Yeah. She would bring other strippers and she'd have to eat them in front of him and he'd go fucking crazy. And his parents sent him money every week and he gave it all to her. She sucked him dry. Then she dumped him and he fucking went crazy. You know, I didn't know about this world. No? I didn't know that you can.

And then I thought about it for years. and one night, Lee and I were talking about something late night about it in Vegas. And I go, Lee, those girls are taken care of. That's escorts or the strippers? These girls that are just hot, that some old crazy guy. Oh, yeah. And then goes, listen, enough is enough. You're making bad choices in your love life.

You got a job at a fucking shoe store. But the whole time, you got that ass and you're bringing it to waste. What if? Yeah. What if? And all of something, they become Armenian. What if? What if I get you a car, I get you a brand new apartment,

I give you $2,500 cash a month. But I come over and I hit your pussy with a hammer once a month. But you're on call. You know what I'm saying? Like I call you after church. You better be at the house 30 minutes after I call. If not, you get demoted. The car gets picked up by two Arabs.

Halim, you know what I'm saying? Pure repo. And then we were talking about you and the job you used to have at the strip club and how crazy it gets with guys. And I told you, dog, I go to a strip club. and I get the fucking creeps. I love women. Yeah, you get loose.

I love naked women. I love all that shit. But I can count on my hands how many times I've been to a strip club. Oh, wow. And if I go, I got to go all in. I got to bring a booch of Coke. Yeah. I got to look at your pussy.

I got to lick it. You know, when I suck you. Like when I was in the halfway house, one night I went to, I got out like an 830. I didn't have to be in until 12. Okay. And there were those B-Y-O-B places. And I went in that door. I was clean.

for like 90 days going to meetings and shoot. I had a half ounce of coke. I seen this Korean chick with fake titty's and blonde streaks in the air. It was over. Hell yeah. The AA book got lit on fire. How did you get the half ounce if you were clean and sober? Because I was bringing it to sell at the halfway house.

That was my job. I was getting married in a month. And I was charging Vig. I was selling blow. I was lending money. I was a one-man record machine, dog. And I'm not crazy. But besides that, though,

one time in Vegas I got thrown out What did you do to get thrown out? That's some pretty hard shit. Every time she squatted, I made a fart noise. Yeah. Yeah. And strippers go bananas. Yeah, they don't like that. When they bend over and shit.

Uh-uh. One thing, I got really coked up, and I tormented a strip, and it popped a pimple on her ass because she had a little white head on the ass. You ever see a stripper with a white hat on her ass? If you want to give her a dollar, but you feel bad, you're like, I want that pimple. Yeah, it has a hair sticking out, just like pull it like a fuse. No. But that's it.

Like I feel after a certain age, I felt, because early on I would go to a strip club that was just disgusting when I was a kid. Yeah, it's because you feel like I can get these girls. I don't got to give them money. No, no, no, no. I feel creepy for them, which makes me feel fucking creepy. I was talking about a friend of mine last week about a mutual friend that we have in Jersey. And I said to him, you know, for 40 years, bro, that dude's never made me feel comfortable because I'll tell you why.

He's a great guy. The problem with him is he's not coming. comfortable his own skin. Okay. So when you're around him, you feel creepy. But he's a good guy. He went to one of my comedy shows, and he's the last guy expected to see at one of my comedy shows.

And afterward, he came up to me and gave me a hug, and he said he was proud of me, but I still went back to the hotel scratching my head. Like, he put poison on my neck. Like, he tried to fidel trick on me or something. Yeah. Yeah, that's some shit, man. I mean, dude, like, you know how you were talking about sugar datties? Like, I seen the worst case of a sugar daddy, dog.

It was worseer than, you remember in Harlem Nights, Sunshine got that cop? Yeah. You remember he caught his old lady. He's like, hey, tell your mom, I ain't coming home on one. Dog. So there was this old man. He must have been like 70. And he fell down in Vons.

And he had a dog. And like, he fell down, broke his leg. And he broke the dog's leg. I thought you were going to say the dog dragged him around one. No, no, Doug. So this is crazy. And he got like a $5 million settlement. And he loved black girls that were tatted up and looked thuggish to them.

But they had to have their own real hair. So he would come to our club and he would spend like money until finally this one girl came. I could say her stage name. Her stage name was Stacy. She was bad, dog. She looked like Mary J. Blige without talent. Like she was hot, pretty. And she was real like, she told me she's been on Ritalin ever since she was like in 10th grade.

Like she was just with it. So this, this old man, straight up, he'd give her $1,000. He goes, don't talk to no guy in here. And then she was like, yo, man, this full say he'll give me 10 Gs if I fuck them. That bitch showed up to work the next day in a new Nissan Ultima dog. Like she used this guy for at least a year. year a thousand dollars a day and he brought her mama car and then and then it was crazy because she would come into work bragging she's like yeah man the people of bank of america were talking

shit to my man they was like you know you don't got to buy her this right like because he was pulling money out and he had to go to the bank to pick it up that's new style dog that's 300 grand a year yeah just to just to just to keep her away from the other guys yeah and and he would come in with like it bundled because he would wear like these fucking fucking sweats all the way up to his belly button and shit. And then he'd have like a big old stack of hundreds on the side of them. And

that's, that's, it made me to realize like, man, dog, these girls have flipped the game tremendous. That shit makes me sad. It makes me really fucking emotional and sad. Why?

I don't know. You feel bad for the man? Like, he knew what he was doing. No, dog. He used to fight with her in the club because like you know how you said they don't answer all the time and she was like one time i went to his house and it was all dirty because you know when you're an old man like that he had expensive dogs and the dogs ran the house she wouldn't clean his house for a thousand dollars a day hell no though she was there to strictly jack him off make him nut give him whatever he gave for that hour and she was gone like she had a boyfriend that was in on it she was buying him clothes it's like i was just like fuck i couldn't send my lady to go fuck a

dude to support us. That's some weird shit. But yeah, that's just one of them, dog. I've seen guys come by girls' tits, by the masses. The girl that I became tight with that I was dating, I got in the middle of this

because she had tried to leave him for like two years. He took her to court. Oh, shit. Dog, it was bad. Damn. Listen, bro, he would give him money to go on vacation with a dude.

Like it to keep her happy. Like, I've never heard. I heard this type of stuff before. I had never heard this shit before in my life. Nor do I want to hear it. I used to sit there and I'd be sad. And guess what? The dude started calling me.

Oh, shit. And at first I would hang up on him. One night I was kind of a little fucked up. Like a dog, what's the problem? He goes, you don't understand. I love her. My heart broke, bro. Yeah.

Like, you know the type of guy? I am. My heart broke. He's like, I love him. And I said to him, how can you love her? How can you love her when she was dating all these dudes and you're just milking her? She's milking you dry. They know it.

They want the feeling. I couldn't be mad at her. Listen, I'm a thief. No matter what you're doing, you're still a thief at the end of the day. Yeah. I couldn't be mad at her. They gave her an opportunity. She used her gifts and this guy bought, I mean, it was the same thing.

You, you, I don't even remember half the shit. And I don't want to tell something that's wrong Vacations All that shit She went to the Bahamas with a dude And then She said she was staying for three days She stayed for five

Dude showed up Oh wow Gave the dude money like a thousand bucks To get back on the plane Within an hour Dude got on the plane You know shit like that Wow

At the end of the week You sit there and go Jesus Christ But his father died And left that money Same thing So the mother Gave him an allowance

of like 20 grand a week and she would get 18 of it. Damn. Like she's trashers. Yeah. I told you right after I dated her, she started dating an Indian guy. And got paid.

I was like 78 years old, didn't get a heart on no more. He died like the fucking dude in Dallas with the fucking chick with the big tits that died from pills. Oh, Anna Nicole. It was the same thing. Yeah.

Carol was 30-something years old. She remembers a 70-something-year-old dude. You know, and then she turned it over and she flipped it. And she kept doing it. But those four years I was with it, that was the worst luck, bro, I ever had in my life. Yeah.

She was surrounded by bad luck. And if you ever work with strippers, which you did, when they walk in, they all got a story. Oh, fuck, yeah. My car blew up, my building burnt down, my sister got shot. They all got a story because a part of what they do is what I was doing with a gun. And what I was doing whining the people It's the same thing

Yeah There's nothing different No matter how I look at it But it was a different style And plus well They got the wagerment Like they got the pussy And you know

Going back to this guy That your girl Carol was with Yeah Like I noticed these guys They kind of like that power He was she was 24 He was doing this From the age of 20 to 24

25 And for like a year She tried to cut it all I think she even gave him some money back like $8,000. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, because she ordered, and that $8 for how to give back. Well, it's hard. She's one of those girls, bro, that she has $30, if she has $3,000, $3,000, she'll eat for those $3, but she'll starve and won't touch the three.

Wow. I had never seen anything like this. Well, do you guys say, I know, like, there's a whole thing now on Instagram. of just Instagram models who just are somehow traveling the world. Yeah, as sugar daddies are taking care of everything. Everything. You know? Like, and there's even sugar mamas out there, man.

There's older women that if you're young and you win it, they're going to hook you up. It's crazy. I had one once, but, you know, I was getting like, I was getting like 80 a week. You know, dog, I was just. She was low. You're on the bottom end of the union. You want to print this Pants of shit

You can't get your card for four years and shit So you got to fight a long That listen No that shit ever happened to me I got no sugar mom I got nothing Every loan I bought Every loan I took

I had to pay back You know what I'm saying One way or another But I just when Carol Was filling me in on this The first time guys I was dying Yeah I mean

Did it hurt you dog Like Did you? Ask her, hey, does he do what they do to you? Like, I don't know. No, no, I'm not one of those guys. After you're opening up. I did that when I was 22, dog.

And that opens up a complete can of worm. You don't want to know where they've been. Yeah, fuck, no. You don't want to know. As soon as they start telling you, you go, listen, I don't want to know. Yeah, I'm out. Give me a G. I'm out of here.

I love you. I don't care. If you got gang bang, what are you going to do? You were 28. Hopefully by now you're pussy little of all the juices out of that. That's like if we can have a child. And you don't end up like Alvira and Scott face and shit. Hey, but you know how you were talking about pimps is check this out, man.

I stopped DJing at a strip club like about a year ago. And I remember the new thing is, is pimps. They now make their prostitutes go work at the strip club. Because they're like, you know what? Fuck the bullshit. You're going to go in there and you're going to give me all the money you make from there. And it's weird. Because like the strip club I was at, it had a whole stroll in the front.

Like there was prostitutes walking the street. And then we were their competition. It was like, hey, you want to be safe? You know what I mean? And dude, I only know this because one girl was like, hey, man, look, call the cops. My boyfriend's waiting out there. And if I don't come out with the money he thinks I got, I'm going to get my ass kicked. I'm sick of this shit.

Like, what they do is they have kids with these chicks. And then they got the kid waiting for him back at the hotel room. She's like, I already had my sister pick up my house. son, no, we ain't like it was crazy dog. It was like an escape and that food was outside just looking like yo man is she in there and I was like yeah dog you know she's getting ready he was like well I do I need to get her and I was like it's a two drink minimum dog I can't tell you know but fuck it it's it's crazy like that that that pimping and stripping game is getting too

comfortable with each other you know what I mean it's like there used to be a lot a fine line where it was just like you know where you're going to get from either spot now they're trying to coexist with each other i learned something at the age of 16 that most men will never learn in their life i learned that at the age of 16 until this day i'm very grateful when i played cyo ball and he 8th grade there was a dude that went down there he was maybe two years old than i was and every saturday we'd go down to the practice and then you could stay for two hours and shoot hoops and everybody was allowed in there. Kids' last name was Diaz.

I don't remember what his first name was. But when Lee, we went to visit my mother's grave. Right. That's how I look for my mother's grave. Once I find him, if I stay horizontally, I bump into another second cousin of mine who jumped off the bridge. We were related to dads. Like my dad.

With the ice cream cone? No, that's Steve Mancini. Oh, okay. This kid's name was George Hernandez. He was beautiful from Union City, New Jersey. He played football, but he had a problem. The H. Oh.

And he could have to go to college now. He had a bunch of dilemmas. So once I see those two, I know my mother's two or three rows away. Okay. Because they each died, like June, July. Oh, my mom died in November. Oh. And that's how they lay him out.

Yeah. But that kid, Mario Diaz, no, Mario Diaz was the karate kid. Diffrey, he was Chinese Cuban. This kid Diaz. He's holding the karate kid? He was one of these guys, bro, when I was a kid, that, you know, when you're 14 and you hang out with somebody who's 17 and they're having sex, it's pretty impressionable. Yeah. Or maybe he was 16.

But, I mean, he had stories every fucking Saturday. And he had three dudes with him. And those days, if you were 16, and you dress up, George, they lay into bars in the city. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they lay into 3 a.m. or they even, you could even go into the city in those days. As long as you had a fake ID, which cost you $6 on the 42nd Street, you did whatever the fuck you wanted. You had it. In those days, they had a cover at the door.

They understood. You had an understanding when I was young. I'm going to let you in there. You're 16. You fuck up. When the cops come. I don't have your back and you can't come back in here again. So you had to act on your best behavior.

So in those days, if you were dressed up, your shoes were shined, you didn't act like an asshole, you had a little bit of a mustache. You're 16. They let you in because the drinking age was 18. Yeah. So it didn't really matter. Yeah, he looked 18, you know. Yeah, he had an ID.

Fuck yeah. There was no scanners, none of the shit they got. No, they try to fuck with you and ask you a horoscope. Like, what's your? horoscope you know shit like that so you had to have it memorized and all that you had all that memorized but but by the time i was 15 and a half there was this guy man named squeak they used to call him squeak and somebody he gave somebody his license and that dude gave it to me oh okay and in those days jersey it didn't have a picture no no it's just a piece of paper that followed you're kidding me blood

type you want to donate your eyes you know fucking your name your address your zip code and the number of your license. How do they get away with that? No pay. They changed it afterward. New Jersey never had a picture. After immigration, I know. We need pictures.

Yeah, now there's somebody showed up with a big envelope and so look at no pictures. No pictures. So we got 40 minutes still fucking. We got three days until the NCIC comes back and we can bail you out of there. See, in those days, the NCIC didn't come back for 72 hours, George Perez. Oh, no? So if you were wanted on a national level and you knew it, soon you. you got arrested, you had bail waiting for me.

By the time they got the paperwork back, because it was facts. By the time it went to Washington, then they ran it, and unless you were a priority or something, that's a stack of papers. That's two days. Wow. So by the time you get back, like one time I got a misdemeanor thing

and I gave him a fake name, I bailed out, I went to court. When I got back for years, every time I looked at my court file, it showed that court case. And I was like, Damn, they could arrest me. Never arrest me. Because by the time of the fingerprints on misdemeanors,

took a year for your fingerprints to come back. They went to the bottom of the pile. They didn't have that much money in those departments either for all that shit. That's what they did on Saturdays and Sundays on overtime three weeks a month. It was like through misdemeanors. Felonies had the first fucking eyeball. No, but that whole world, George, has always, it's made me kind of sad.

It is, dog. And, man, like I said to you, I love to see women naked. You know, I'm a mate dog. No, wrong with that. It's an animal than anybody else. You want to put that monk wall on my face? If it opens up my sinuses, we're in business. You know what I'm saying?

If I could sniff that monkey, it's a joke. But whenever I go to a strip club, especially after, like, my fucking 30s, I always got creepy. And I always got the creeps. That's why I stop going. see the sense of it you know i've never been maybe i went to eddy's place one time with rogan all the way by the airport they shot a bunch of movies in there it was really pretty in that really dark three floors oh wow two floors yeah that's the baller one the first floor they dance

the second floor come as you want you know what you know what you need to do in there nobody knows nothing no cameras a timer goes off yeah that's it exactly the egg is boiled once a timer goes off the egg is fucking boiled the cut hurry open after that. But I always felt, bro, when I was young, I had a bad experience

on one of those hookahous. You know, bro, I'm Catholic. I thought love was love. Yeah. You know, at that time,

I had a seventh grade girl who told me she loved me and we were going to fuck in July when school was over. So the whole year, she had me on a dry hump mission, just dry hump and her waiting for that pussy in July.

And she reneged on me. That killed me inside. You know what I'm saying? Like, it just killed me. And then my friend, Pablo Obrgan, God rest of his soul.

He took me into the city one night with his fucking candy truck. His father had a candy company. And at night he'd steal his father's truck. We'd be in the bag of the thing with Hershey bars and shit, potato chips and pretzels. Don't touch the pretzels there for fucking.

So he went to that 1040 club. And it was all hook is $10.99 plus tax. $10.40 in 1981. Damn. He would go there every week, so he wanted to bring us in Lake. This is my favorite place.

What's the value of $10 in those days that come? Is it like $50 now, $20 now? Maybe $40. Okay. Disgusting. There's no value. There's somebody who sells you that pussy for $9.99, okay? There's no value.

That pussy comes with a disease, an itch, a lifetime. Yeah, a lifetime of fucking flashbacks. nothing in that room is good for you. Until that's this day, that feeling never went away from me, George. That creepy feeling of walking back there because in the back of my mind, I believe in flowers and chocolate and chocolate.

Holding hands in the shit. Then I came in a minute, then I go, what's the use of buying chocolate? Going to the store last longer than me coming in a fucking minute. There's no rubbing neck. Sometimes you rub my neck, I come in my pants. I come from eating pussy sometimes. That's how quick I come.

I just pass out. Boom. What happened? Nothing. Nothing. I'm over here in my leak of my fucking leg. Crazy glued to the fucking linole. Just from eating her out?

Sometimes I just get so excited. I get anxiety and just crack a nut. There's some crazy fetishes in those strip clubs, man. You know what? The craziest shit, too, Joey, is the fucking fights in there. Because a stripper dressing room is equivalent to a a prison yard. They separate in groups. The old ones

kick with the old ones. The black kick with the blacks, the Latins, and the whites just intermix. They never got the own group. I don't know why. They just, and it's like, you got the pill poppers, the co-cade girls, and when they fight, it's like to die. Like, we have to jump

in. Like, dude, Fly told me at the strip club he was at, that they had to carry a girl out on a stretcher. What do they fight about? Just bitch, You, like, you got to, you got to remember a stripper's kind of like a, it's a boy. She's a bully. A stripper is someone that's cool swagger. Like, they want to show these other bitches.

They ain't to be fucked with. It's so weird. Like, when I, when I used to walk back there, I felt like a cop for the first time. Because, like, they would all hide all their shit. Like, they got shit going on in there that's ridiculous. And, like, hey, bro, you call that at the best. A thief is always a thief. So they steal from each other crazy.

and there's cameras everywhere so they'll go call it. You know what? I was gone at this time and that time to go tell the manager I'm looking at the camera. Sure enough, that bitch stole my shit. And it's like super fights. I've seen some crazy fights. It's insane, you know,

to see beautiful naked women fighting each other. Do they fight about like, is there like a good spot? Like in comedy there's the headliner? Is there like a good, they don't. Oh, yeah. If you try to bump a bitch,

you're going to get fucked up. If you're next and this other girl comes, she goes, hey, you know, I want to go before her. They'll be like, no, bitch, I'm next. Like, or my customers here, like, they'll fight over customers. They'll be like, hey, you know what, that guy spends money, put me on stage. And then they're like, oh, well, it was my, I'm scheduled for this time. No, it's not scheduled time. It's you have them on a roll sheet.

So, like, say Destiny comes in, Dynasty, Porsche, you write their names down on a list. And once you start bringing girls on stage, you got to go. by the girls, like the order. And there's no break songs. It's like if I'm DJing and Aerosmith's playing, I just turn it down for a second. All right, guys, give it up right there for Destiny. We got Clyde Girl up next.

And once that songs change, that other girl has to get her money, get her ass off stage, and the next girl goes. Lee, there's no wrong answer. All right? There's no wrong answer. I just want to ask you a question. Okay.

What is the motive of an exotic dancer? To make money. Okay, so what is the root of making money? Showing her, getting on stage and showing her stuff. In her world, what is the root of making money? Being on stage, I guess. George, what's the root of her making money? Fucking getting customers showing off of sex.

You ready? Yeah. She's a salesman. Yeah, exactly. Salesman to the match. She's a salesman. Perfectly said, Joey. Listen to me.

The stripper is a car salesman, only who. who shows their tit and their pussy. They have a kid at the house. The old man left him. He's doing time. You know what, man? It's expensive for diapers. It's expensive for a thousand days.

You have to make money. You have to make limitations. You have a child at the house. You have bills. You have two kids. You're trying to put food. You know, what's rent? What's rent when you have two kids?

Yeah. What's childcare? What's a car? What's... So if a fucking girl is smart, she's a sales girl who makes the most money George the one who puts the tithes on the one who puts

the Catholic skirt on with the sunglasses with little titties with nice shoes on and walks out there and you know she's a dirty fucking animal straight up that's the one you look for that's the one you avoid the one with the Catholics with the stockings that's got

glasses on and she looks like she's too pretty to be in the joint yeah she's a savage yes when she gets on top of your lap she gets your dick hard and then she starts becoming a pickpocket. That's what Houdini goes to work. They got your dick hard, okay? That's their job. Once they get that good, that's

when it becomes a thousand dollar a day plus a bag of blow. So what if they give a hand job? It must be amazing just because I had a car buying experience this past couple weekends and they always make you feel like they're your best friends. Oh yeah. This is it. But if they're going to grab your dick or show you their

tits, that's even better. Listen, George, how do you sell blow? George, come here. Come over. Hey, taste this. George, come in for a second. Come in the corner. Listen. You've seen,

you've seen Pablo Escobar that show on Netflix. Yeah. The dude that he used to hang out with. His nephew's, nephew's best friend. The ghost thing. Just gave me a fucking kilo of this Coke. It's tremendous.

It's 50 a gram. It's tremendous. It's 89%. No. Yeah. I call you into a corner and put two fucking spoons in your nose. Straight up. I see you turn pale.

That's when you, all the money comes right out of your pot. There's money in the cocaine world Lee, money talks in bullshit water. Straight up. Right there, somebody gives me the rock of Gibralt, I turn to you and Lee go Lee, what's in your pocket? Oh my. Well, I'm holding on for money for Paul. Lee, give me the money on stab me in the fucking neck. We're buying this guy out.

How much with a laptop? I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse, you know what I'm saying? And you know what's a good one, George? How much with a laptop? Listen, Lee, give him the laptop. Exactly, Doug. Yeah, Lee, give him the backpack the whole. fucking thing.

But Joey, I don't want to. Don't matter. You're embarrassing me. Get a spoon. This is the best blow I've ever had in 20 years. And you know what's weird too is we have to fight the customers off, dog, because they're all constantly trying to

bring that shit in to calm the girls and to not giving them money because, you know, they pay cheaper for the drug. So the girl would give 100 bucks for two grams where they only pay 40. And now the girl's like, like they'll lie to us. Oh, that guy

never paid me. Why didn't you tell us? Oh, I thought you guys seen who was going to his car. So now she played us. She got her sack and now we can't get our cut of that. It's so crazy, dog. I trip out. And then now there's a new website, I guess, where the customers judge the girls and they tell

you how good the dances are. Does it yell for strippers now? Yeah. I'll text it to you tomorrow because some of the girls that I used to work with, they'd always be like, look at this. Like, other girls would fake like they were customers and make a bad comment about a girl that's making money to fuck her up. Oh my God.

It's, hey, dog. It's a doggy dog world. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. It's, it's, and some of them work in packs. Perfect.

Dog, they work in packs because Carol used to work at. What do you mean like a pack? Like a lion pack? So two of them, they work together. Yeah. And they work like Bing Crosby and fucking Bob Hope, Jack. They work you. Think a fucking bird and fucking Kevin

McHale They're like fucking Shaq and Kobe It's a fucking one And if they're both good looking It's over If one is black Yeah

Or if the other one's white And the other one's Latina And they both come from the same cut That they need 1,200 a day To feed their kid Snorke and drive their fucking Porsche They're making 1200 that day This guy just offers

5,000 go back to his hotel room Tell him you need 7,500 And you want 5,000 up front I mean, these girls are fucking sales women. I need to see the cash right now. $5,000 up front of any before I go anywhere. Give him the money and also give me my $2,500. But you just said $5,000.

And next thing you know, you give them $9,000. And they're eating each other out, telling you the deal. Telling you the fucking deal. It is... I'm telling you. I was with Carol for four years, and it was on and off, and there was always a story. I always had to go for an AIDS test.

Yeah. No, I've been there, God. It's a great times a year because I didn't trust it at all. And then we broke up and we stayed friends. And then, you know, we just talked. And one day I told her what I thought and she agreed and that was it. She's always been honest with me since that. She's had men that have lived in the house and the whole thing. It's three nights a week.

She's down there. I love the debt. She's a great, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, hey, it's her hustle. Yeah. But it's interesting to see that the hustle never went away. Yeah, they keep that shit forever. Even though she's 47.

If I'm 54, yeah, she's about 47, 46. Even though she has a full-time job that pays with benefits, I think she still drives out there twice a fucking month. Dude, I've met some crazy girls. I had this fine older lady. Her stage name is Danielle. and her husband was, I think he was like gang unit. And they were married for 25 years and she found out that he was cheating on her for 12 years.

She fucking got half the money and she said, I've always wanted to be a stripper. Now she's a stripper, dude. Fine. How old? She's about 45. Fine. Because all she did was work out with him. Never had kids with them.

He was never home. But he was cheating on her. And yeah, my ex-boss was crazy, Joey. She was like a 52-year-old lady. And she was beautiful. She had the best fucking pussy in the world. Like, she would show it off to us. Like, she would show his picture.

She's like, look, motherfucker. That pussy's tired of the any gross pussy in here. And I was like, that's you? Dude, she has pictures of her with, I bet you know her. I bet you know her. Look, Kelly. Well, like, what's a matter of Lee? You haven't fucking.

You can ask Shakira, that's my old boss. Like, we all talk about her, dude. She, she's your old boss? Huh? No, she's my old boss. That's crazy. She's beautiful, dog. She's 52, and, like, I would have fucked her, but I was scared.

She always wanted to fuck me, but I was scared. Because everybody, she fucked at work ended up getting fired, like about eight months later. She'd always fuck the youngsters, and she liked me because her ex, her ex-husband was a cholo like me. And she did, this girl had, she reminded me of you, Joy, but she had stolen. and she knew her pussy was power. She quit because she married a millionaire. Straight up. Cruise by work and a Tesla.

Fuck you guys. You don't fuck her. Dude, she's with it. And at the club I was working at, she used to be a dancer there. And then she ended up getting lupus. She had to quit. And the customers were like,

well, how are we going to see you? She became the manager and just started like, telling the customers, I can't dance for you, but I'll do things. And dog, baller, baller. Like, she told me that she went to Tokyo to strip for five years. She made like $300,000 there.

She's just straight baller. White or black? White. Beautiful. She looked like, um, fuck, who's that girl in Scarface the one Tony was in love with? Michelle Fife. She looked like Michelle Fyfer right before she did the movie as a substitute teacher. She looked good.

And at 50, her ass looked like she was a gymnast. Yeah, with it. It's funny because the way I was raised and the whole thing, but I have to tell you something, when I was 21, and I've said to this on the show before, I've been asked in Colorado. Five. And that's the first time I suspected something.

That's the first time I'd be at a Chinese restaurant up there, the only one of the ask me. That was horrific, by the way, at that time. Horrific. How do you get Chinese food in Colorado? Horrific. I'll never forget the first time I saw, and we pulled over because I lived in Basalt,

which is dirty miles south. So on a special occasion, we drive up to Aspen Park to go and walk around on this, 1983, George. Yeah. And this is Aspen. This is a popular place. They got Italian.

They got this, that, and they're Chinese. I forgot what the name was. We walked in there. Oh, God. We were from New York. City. Yeah, I was saying, isn't that known for Chinese food in New York?

Oh, yeah. And I'm 19, 20, and I'm walking into this Chinese restaurant, expecting New York City food. And I nearly fucking puke, guys. That was the first time my heart stopped. Yeah, Chinese foods is a shit. Is that one of the places that you had under your control for a few months? No, no. I never went back there.

I think I went once again one time. I gave it another shot, like 18 months. later and it was still horrific. You got locked up in Denver, huh? Colorado over there? Yeah, but this was Aspen. My, Georgia. What's the difference between,

it's like the richer area? Yeah, it's four hours away. Aspen at the time was where the Eagles lived. Oh, Johnson lived. They all lived in the way. Tom Johnson? All of those fucking animals. I used to wear my shirt like that guy.

Live out there. And it was very peaceful. The airport. Was the little planes only can land there from Denver. They had a lot of charter planes. But it was a very big drug town. There was a lot of drugs up there. Oh, yeah?

I moved to basalt. I'm 18, 19. You know, I'm clean for a month. I never even dared of asking. I was happy. Excuse me. Uh-huh. I was happy than having around me.

For the first time, I was going to try to really go without it. Within two weeks, the people I was living with. The chick was talking about it. And my roommates started talking about it. And I knew where they were on to, and I still played it cool. But then we broke up,

and I had to move up to Snowmazz Village. And three days after I got into Snowmazz Village, somebody asked her, I don't want to Coke. And it was fucking tremendous. It was good, huh? Fucking off the rattle. So I started Just buying a half a gram every Friday

And I ate my little salad I always made a little Lettuce tomato onion with oscar Maya salami That's why we do it with some type of Vinegrat heavy with the red pepper And I would fucking eat that And then I'd have like six beers And I'd watch USA night flight

And I'd take the Coke and cut it up into little lines But I'd sit there and write little fucking stupid things that I go in my room and bang one out and come back and do more coke and drink a couple tequila's Oh, fuck, you have to when you're on some good coke that like, good cocaine makes you like into a fucking bartender

You're like, no, I want tequila, no, I want wine You know, I want a tall can And then you try to eat and it's the worst You're gonna force. Those days, I still wasn't an animal yet, George. Oh, okay, I was just Fridays only You're experimenting. Friday's only, I would start at 10

and by 3.3.30, I'd end it, go to the room, jerk off again, go to bed, and the next day it was forgotten. Yeah. That was it. I did not go in public in those days. Okay. I knew people who got high at the house, and one day I said to myself, that's what I'll do. No going out. I don't want nobody to see me coked up. Yeah, I used to be like that. Like, you turned it to your own spy. I used to lock my dog in the other room so he didn't see me.

No, no, no, no, no. This is early on I was doing this. Later on, I know what you're talking about. That's what you can't go out loud. I'm talking about early on. I had this thing. I go, why do people, if I went out and saw people join, I would lose my mind. I go, go, get the fuck out of here. Like, I always had something against that.

Okay. And don't make me get started from where. I know what you mean, though. In the 70s, people have rings around their nose. Like that? And it used to drive me crazy because there were people close to me. Like my mom. Okay.

I'll have to tell my mom. Oil, I leap it on out of the ego. Yeah. Wipe your fucking nose. Then in the mid-80s, that thing started with people's jaws. Where people's jaws. Is it because they cut it with different stuff? It was still powerful.

Like your fucking head would get numb. In 82, the Coke was completely different than what it became in 87. Cleaner? 82. Yeah. I remember going to Miami, George, in 84. Five. Getting off a plane and doing some shit.

that your eyes would get red like the veins in your eyes would get all like you ever go to Memphis the brothers in Memphis their eyes all beating and shit black people in Memphis all look nervous that's how your eyeballs

get you get red eyeballs and shit your head gets hot but your dick would get hard you wouldn't get paranoid you get real thirsty for alcohol and you were but it was stages that's what people never understand

that the addiction has stages. I started in 79. And until 84, 83. I didn't get creepy. I know exactly what you were saying. Those first four years, it was a party. I can go to a bar, snort with George, hug him, drink another whiskey tonic.

It was very social. Then I would bring him back to wherever I lived and get high and bang out and bring a girl back and snore coke and put them in a bikini with heels. and get all crazy. You know, you get fucking crazy in those days. There was no condoms.

There was nothing. You didn't give a fuck. I think there were condoms. No, not until 85, until Rock Hudson came out and talked about AIDS. Is that when the condom was invented? No, the condom was always around. When I was in the eight and no.

The condoms been around. How was my? Because when I was in the fifth grade, that summer, I robbed a box of condoms. Me and a bunch of us from a back. of a fucking like a pharmacy and University of New Jersey Oh they didn't have my liquor stores

You had to get them from a pharmacy A pharmacy in those days We were walking You know those parking lots? We're kid dog Yeah Fifth grade, fourth grade summer You know fucking walking

We just went to Carvel We got ice cream We're walking in a parking lot And there's a truck And the back is wide open And next to it There's stacks of boxes And we said

That's right there and all of a sudden, bro, we saw that the guy would take one box at a time and go in so we said, let's take a box each. And we all went over and took a box and just tore. We just ran, bro.

Hell yeah. When we got to the light, the light was green. We crossed Kennedy Boulevard down to fucking the Chinese store. In those days, we used to call it the Ching store. Yeah. The Dragon Grocery, aka the Ching Store.

On Sundays, it was a bodega. The old man was cool. shit. The daughter was a fucking the daughter was the first Lucy Lou. But it was 1979. Nobody was looking for Lucy Lou back then. It was 1975. It had to be

when we stole those condoms. Nobody was even thinking the fucking. When we stole those condoms the whole crew I hung out with, nobody was fucking. People were kind of talking about it. Somebody made out. Somebody touched somebody's titty.

But nobody was fucking. Out of all the boxes, the six of us took, one guy got, like, cream for your hands. One guy got, like, fucking hairpins. Yeah. This is what I remember. I never forget the hairpins. What the fuck am I going to do with these hairpins? And I got a box of condoms when they only came in one color.

Oh, yeah. Black. No shit. And they were thick, and the outside was black. So I sold what I could. for a 50 cents. What do you sell a condom for? Yeah.

In those days, if you had a condom in your wallet, you were the shit. Yeah, what was your sales pitch? Yeah. Like, how can you convince them? What happens if you bump into a fucking hot chick and you finger into death

and all the same? Yeah. At 11, you're saying this? Oh, yeah, we're just fucking with people. We're trying to just, we took him to the Chinese bodega. He bought like three boxes, but I don't want to sell that stuff.

I don't know. You're not having to have to know what they got because he was Chinese Cuban. So whatever he was saying in Spanish, he'd say in Chinese first, you know what I mean? And translate it. And then say it in Spanish. Cool as shit. And we sold half of them.

And then we just went to 38th Street Park and broke him out. So I'll never forget. I had that. Like, I didn't even use a wallet. Who made condoms back then? Was it Trojan? Good year. Who made condoms?

I don't fucking know. Like, I'm a swami from Salami. I don't know that shit. Good year. You remember everything else? I would be surprised. Good year. Yeah, fucking hemtrack.

That was before the middleman. You took them before they put the package on them probably. Crazy. That's fucking crazy, dog. We were young, young, nobody got laid. That condom, let me tell you how long. I still remember who I busted that condom out with. And it was dry.

The condom was disintegrated. They expire. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, that thing expired eight times by the time I broke into it. I just put it in there raw. I didn't give a fucking. Yeah. I was like in the fuck my sophomore year, my, that's right.

I met this girl in North Bergen pool when she was a year older than me. I swear to God, she was from North Bergen. We started talking and shit. You fucked you out the pool? No, dog. I got manners. I'm a Catholic. I took it to a movie.

I bought a popcorn. Exactly. We swapped spit. And then I would go uptown and go into like not enemy territory. But it was not the friendliest territory. Yeah, it was neutral. I would knock on her door. I was already in high school.

Why was it enemy territory or neutral territory? Because it was a different Different neighborhood And then one day I'm walking home When I see some dude from that territory He's like, Coco, what are? So I walk home and I swap, spit, whatever. When I see the kid, he goes, did you fuck her already?

And I go, no, what are you talking? I goes, ah, that chick is fucked like 10 guys. The next night it was over. I just told her right, I go, listen, I think it's the time we get taken and shit. Yeah. And Juan Rodriguez got ready. God rest is so solid soldier.

I said, you got to bring a friend, and she brought a friend, and we went to Ron Rodriguez's house, his parents worked at Goya. In fact, every time I do Miami, his other brother, Carlos, comes to the show. That's crazy.

I was just thinking about Carlos the end of that. You know, it's crazy? Your face looks purple, dog. Is it the light, or is it this Death Star you gained? It's the Death Star I gave it. Sorry, I'm tripping. No, it's, see, the Death Star, is purple. So the ink from the

Death Star is going into the eyeballs right now. So right now, I just saw streaks of purple to it. You get used to it, yeah. It's like getting smack in the face of night. You see little stars. It's all right. No, bro. I had sex with this girl. I kind of, I really liked it. And something happened. Like,

I don't know, bro. It wasn't good sex. I don't know what I was doing. I was young and nervous and clumsy. She was beautiful. Who knows what the hell happened. But I'm going to tell you something. I met one. first because Juan used to date a chick by my amounts that I was goombos with I used to train with her and her girlfriend Juan's the guy that you seen walking home that told you about her right

what about Juan about that girl fuck ten guys no no no one was a Cuban kid that was from pensock in New Jersey a rough a rough city out of Philadelphia and Camden but he was white but he played basketball like he was black okay and he was five foot six George his shake was lethal because he was close to the floor. You know what I'm saying? He shook you. If you were on him, you were done. He would just burn you on the left-hand side.

And then he would do a bunch of shit inside and foul. And one, he was all county freshman year. So he had a younger brother. And one part of his hair in the middle and combed it this way, like a shag they called it in the 70s. But Carlos combed it straight back and he had a widow's peak. Carlos played basketball too

and he was on the freshman basketball team so for months every time I'd see Carlos I knew Carlos, I knew his older brother I went to his house I had sex with a kid on his bed you know every time In fact like I said

Carlos just went to one of my shows in Miami I see Carlos and I start calling drag because he looks like drag and he'd say Joey Coco please don't call me drag bro And this shit caught on in basketball practice.

I was going to say, that was a mistake. The ceremony started calling him drag, drag, drag, drag. And he would get pissed off. See, Coco, what you started? Fuck, fuck. And he would go back to his rooms. And now it's a Christmas tournament in East Orange, New Jersey. You know what that means?

We're going into all black territory. Okay. That means we're going into all black territory, and we're going to get our asses handed to us. Yeah. Freshman year basketball. We got on the bus. we get out there

we're playing this fucking Christmas tournament and next thing you know Juan is a guard he's a starting guard Carlos the young one who was Is this like a varsity this is freshman freshman year Okay

And we're freshmen and Carlos is taking the ball out of bounds and he hated that drag shit But right before the referee gave the ball A black kid looked at him bro, I can be 100

because that's how I learned comedy. I saw comedy for real. I saw this black dude walk up to him, take a look at it. And also he goes, yo, yo, to his partner. He goes, look at my dog over here. He looks like any monster and shit.

Bro, that dude fell apart. When they threw the ball at him, he just sat there. He was cracked. Yeah, you get a clown. Now, guess what happens? They said that to him, and we didn't say a word. We just, everybody on the team saw that he frashed.

He couldn't play the rest of the game. He was flustered and shit. And the next thing, you know, bro, on the bus, like after about 20 minutes, people just started calling him any months until today. People still that know them, that know them, like really know him, still go, any month still what's to deal with Neil? and he'll just look at you and go, what the fuck, bro? How do you still remember that shit?

Where's Tony Bennett, cocksucker? Tony Bennett. I'm surprised he didn't end up in, like, a mental hospital. Oh, my God. Is it a quote for you to restaurant? Take it to him, but hurry up. Okay. Dog, I'm drinking water now.

When somebody breaks a hell of a bomb a kid. Some somebody. twice as smart as I'm a somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me I'm on fire tonight

I'm cooking and shit stoned These animals are on fire tonight, see? We had to eat thousand animals No, what are you going to do? You got to eat some buffet here on Monday nights. I told you that. I love buffets.

Larry sent us something. I'm saving that. Thank you, Larry. You know what I'm saying? Uncle Larry always comes through. Or you get as a knock over here on the office door. Some guy comes in. I'm a friend of Larry's. Your old man, pit bull, messes you.

Who? Pitbull. I think you might need to move back into his district. He misses you a lot. I saw him today. Did he say I saw him the other day? No, he didn't say that. He said it. Then I went back to the mail of package. And you know, I'm back there doing... You understand, I pulled over and took a piss on the freeway on the way here.

You're a crazy fucking man, George. You got to go to the doctor. You got to get sag insurance. You got to shoot another movie about Mexico making a comeback for the 4th of July, whatever. Whatever the fuck. No, bro. If Mexico doesn't have insurance like that, do they?

Mexico hooks you up like Cuba. Yeah? I think. I don't... I think Mexico might have... free health care and they go to villages, the munizes shit. I don't know if it's free, but I think

it's cheaper and then, but I don't know how good it is. Well, no, no, no, no. What the fuck am I saying? Like they come here a lot. I know that for a fact that a friend of a friend, which I helped out, said that

he needed donations. In fact, I don't think I even tweeted it out for cancer. But what he was doing was was he was going to Mexico where the medical treatment is five times cheaper and in a way it's even better

than here. His cancer was cured. He came back. He's riding his bicycle again. Everybody's happy. I could just imagine it being out. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people going down there for like fake tits. Yeah, but they get screwed. Yeah, you got to be careful. It's now fucking, what's his name?

What's the Black Deney? December 4, the comedian. Which fly? Oh, fly. Yeah. Make him believe he's Mexican. You get a tit job and shit shooting you with fentanyl and Michael Jackson juice, whatever to fuck that shit. No, there was this stripper that. What is it?

No, that's it. Michael Jackson juice? Yeah, that shit's blowing up right now. Yeah, it's weird. Like, how do you overdose with the fucking doctor giving it to you? Some weird shit that people are overdosed. Well, he was on 80 fucking things. What kills me about it?

the drug world, which I am not going to lie to you. I was a part of it. I should have stopped snort and coke when Lenny Byers died. Until this day, I always go, I'll never forget that that morning that he died, I was waking up from a fucking blizzard. You know what I'm saying? I know exactly what you're saying.

I was waking up from a fucking two bang a day with three cases of beer and somebody had to show up with whiskey and fucking people lying there. And this pain in your chest from all the cigarettes you smoke. I didn't smoke at that time. Oh, you're so lucky.

I used to smoke weed at that time only, and I would drink, snort blow. And in those days, if you had something to, in those days, Quayloos are still around. You know what? That's making a comeback, I heard. What, Quailoaloo? See, you know why? Because of the Cosby thing. Yeah, exactly.

I never understood that, like, the first marketing that I ran into like that, that made me laugh was, in the old day. in New York they would sell nickelbacks. You know, and some weed was 10 bucks. They would tell you this from Cali or it's Thai weed, and you would pay the 10. It was three or four joints. But then, early on, people would go, I got tens

and I got trays. What's a tray? I got 20? A $3 bag. A $3 bag? A $3 bag? And it was angel dust. Oh, so that's like one hit? It would know. The $3 bag,

out of bag, you could roll a joint, like you regularly can roll a joint, and right before you're ready to roll the joint, I'd take like a cigarette thing, and I scoop it into the joint. And I dust it, dust it into the joint. We probably have a good joint and maybe another half a joint here, or we could just be savage as you and I and pour the whole fucking thing in. Ten out of ten, I poured the whole fucking thing in, you know how I roll. You notice he scratched his face?

Oh, my God, it was horrible. It was fucking horrible. It was horrible. It was, uh, I would do it. I was just writing about this today. Like, you know, George, what was the first, how old were you the first time he put something in your nose? You know what? I got peer pressured in my sophomore year.

It was speed, but it was crank. It was horrible. It made my fucking brain, like, it went straight from my nose and, like, I felt like somebody was fucking jabbing chopsticks in my fucking brain and my eye in the back here hurt. Oh my God. You know, speed is different from Coke. Coke is like a good feeling. When you do speed, it's like automatic, like

sharp fucking pain to your brain. First time I mind in speed. I just robbed that bank. Me and my dog, we cast him. I had a fucking draw full of 20s. I'm a fucking high school. I'm a sophomore in high school. Maybe a junior. and it's Christmas

It's my first Christmas My mother Oh fuck yeah You're mad And I started going to that strip club Where women would sit on bottles and shit Oh And the second time I went

Dog Openly some people were like Listen if you want to take a girl on the back It's 20 bucks If you want to buy some drugs See this girl over here And like listen I don't know about taking my girl on the back

But what kind of the drugs are all over I'm a fucking kid, George. How sad is that? Yeah. I'm maybe 17. I got 250. I'm a me, 280. And I go see the girl.

She goes, you want to get it? I'm going to go, yeah, but I want to get high first. I go, what are you got? And she goes, I got 20s of Coke. And I got grams of speed. I go, how good is the speed? I thought I was a couple days away from Christmas. Christmas?

It was a couple days away. Oh, so you had money. So I go, what are you got? And she goes, the speed is 80. I got 20s. I go, give me an 80 and 220s. I took that fucking 80, put it in my top pocket. Took those 220s.

I gave him with a 50 for the girl. It was the nastiest lap dance. By this time, I was done. By this time, the experience in the city with the fucking chick at 1040 club, when she's gone on top, me squeaking. I can hear the comb, I'm squeaking. I'm getting grossed out

and most of the she goes, you know for an extra $10 you can eat me. This is just hard. These are things that happened to me early on that destroyed my insides because, dog, like I told you, I really believed in roses. Yeah.

And romance and music and shit. I know what you mean. Like, dude, I used to date a stripper and, like, I used to believe her. She's like, we can't fuck here. We can't suck dick wrong on camera. And I was telling all my friends, yeah, dog, she's different for me.

And one day, my cousin, that's the manager. He probably did it like you before I even knew you. He was like, hey, dog, come to the office real quick, homie. And I was like, what's up? He put that shit on camera seven, dog, and I'm watching my girlfriend sucks some old man's dick for 30 bucks. Oh, my God.

And I'm like, damn full. I remember I just walked out. I go, hey, can I take my lunch? I was just thinking of a way to break up at there. And I remember just coming back and I going, hey, dog. If you're going to be sucking fool's dick, make sure you brush your teeth, man. You know, I'm going to tell you about a deep, deep, deep stripper, dog. In 87, when I put it out there, like I found out on a Monday that I wanted to fucking take Velas Cove.

But I knew the clock was ticking. Vela was waiting for a paycheck. And how he was putting the paycheck together was by selling Culling. or taking some of this Coke that belonged to his roommate and sell them piece by piece. Like that?

So he was asking around and giving out samples. He came to me directly one day and he goes, do you know anybody wants to buy two kilos? That's a lot. And I'm sitting there going.

Listen, I don't know a lot about a lot of things. 25 years old. Let's face it, I got nothing going. and let's be honest I got no future you know

I speak Spanish I don't have no felonies I got no no no I was clean George I'm clean I'm pretty young but in my mind because I didn't have a college

education I thought I was dead in me and all of a sudden this dude George that reminds me of a dude that I don't know George

I just knew I could sweat on him I got you I could make him take it out of the house I knew I had this guy. I knew I had this guy. I either had a show up on an envelope.

I had to tell him where the envelope was and lure him over that. I knew, yeah. It was going to go down. That luring thing? That's a weird gift to have. Yeah, I know what you mean. And I didn't know I had it until I read the Sam of the Bogravano book. The secret about Simon of the Bogovano.

that unless you read the book you do not know is that yeah he claims he killed 19 it's more like 25 but 12 of those murders you know what they were George you coming over here today yeah he would trick you like that yeah you coming over here tonight let's pretend let's pretend I came to you with a bar that was a union the waiters were in the union okay so I knew how we could squeeze dirty G's a week

out of there. I'll put up the set up money. Everything we squeeze out of there so I get my set of money is mine. After that, we split 30 Gs a week. 15 Gs a week. That's what? That's 60,000 a month, dog. That's a lot. That's clean. Yeah. So what he would do is, how long I know you, George? About 13, 14 years.

All right, sign the papers. Let's do this, George. We signed the papers. Give you four months. you're done and then he'd take over the business and then bring somebody else again that's what he kept doing he kept killing his partners

oh my god but how he would do it was what do you want to do today I don't know what he wants let's go for a drink and he walked you right in you don't know so he's like what the fuck

blah blah blah blah yeah and once I read that I got really scared about myself because that's an ugly thing to have I could allure anybody in those days for blow. I mean, I set this whole deal out.

I was like the middleman bringing him to a dude. But the whole thing I'm trying to say to you is, you know what, that dude, you know why that dude wanted to kidnap, fucking, that helped me kidnap that dude? You know what his motivation was? Okay. Oh, it was a spiel.

Okay. He was a fake biker. He was a fake everything. He had tinted windows. he already had a tattoo that he would shout out every day how are you doing? Yeah, he was funny.

He would talk to people like, yeah, let me think about it and talk to my partners. He was one of those dudes. He always had partners. Yeah, that's like clipboard. Yeah, no, no, no. This guy was a fucking piece of work. But he had a good talk,

and I tried to get work on my own with this. Let me answer a question. What if I knew a guy who had two pieces and I could take him down and you're interested in? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I've done a couple of those. I'm like, all right, let's do it.

Let me get you all the details, and I'll fill you in. We met somewhere, I don't know me, because when do you want to do it? He'll give me a couple days. I'll be in touch. He would come to work the kid. The kid was a machine. The kid was a savage. He would sell cars and then go and snort all night.

He hung out with people who had money. He had grown up in Boulder, and his best friends had money. And they were snows. Norton like animals. You got to see everything, huh? He got the gift of gab from that. Yeah, he was really good looking, and he was living on the arm.

He was making like $6,000, snorting $6,000. But his buddies were giving him $15,000 in cocaine. Okay. And nobody was saying nothing. Plus, he's setting up this kid. The kid's name was Randy, who he was setting up. One day I got a knock on my door. It's this fucking fake biker, dude.

He goes, because I talk to you. what are we going to do this and I got Doug we're going to do this maybe Tuesday or making it for two it was like Sunday I never forget this George

you in front of my house and bolder he goes listen he goes I really need this money I go why what's going on he goes I'm in love man and I go really

you have a girl from me he goes listen this is way before the word it's complicated came up This is 1987. Nobody would say that word.

It's complicated. This guy was just retarded. You know what I'm saying? He was just a moron. Fuck yeah. He broke it down for me, George. He goes, here's the deal. There's this strip club.

And this chick is fucking beautiful. Lefted out of me. Because of me. She's sleeping in my bedroom. And I go, why are you? What's going on? I'm sleeping on the couch. I go, so you're not having a sack, no, not yet.

I go, so what are you waiting on? And he goes, well, the money from this fucking kidnapping, I'll take that and pay for her divorce. I go, how much is a divorce? She's like $20,000. $20,000. It was a lot of money. I sat there, my jaw dropped.

Yeah. So he was doing this to give her money. Now, you know what she did for a living? guess what she did for a limit stripper not only a stripper but a complete nude stripper B-Y-O-B

Oh fuck sit on your lap Rub your dick With her hand And jerk you off Between the pussy Come on her leg It was a horror show

I knew people Went in there I worked at Carstallin And Carlson And car salesman said That's the place Where anything Fucking goes

And I threw people That people That girl's name And they go bro One thing about that girl She's super hot But she had this Stephen kid believing that the reason why she wouldn't have sex with him is because she was married

and so she was Catholic since she was Catholic she couldn't sleep until she got divorced but she can do coke and everything else and the divorce is 20 geez she's snort and blow oh he was buying blow for her and everything oh I never forget when the thing went awry bro you should have seen him he was crying because he's like what am I going to tell her what am I going to tell him he was like I got a little guy we could rock This is a different guy He's in a hotel right now I forget what he said the guy had

Bro, till this day We actually went to the hotel I'm like, I'm already in shit I'm already in trouble I'm gonna pull two felonies In one fucking day Yeah, you're crazy I can't believe like

This is what I trip out on you dog I see you with such a big heart And the way you are But like you used to rob Connects And I don't think people understand Like when you rob the drug dealer like it's it's going down i remember like i didn't like to hang out when i when i used to pick up dope

in 1999 to 2003 whatever i hated being in that drug house it's like being in the waiting i don't know dog you you probably had more juice or if you had that one-on-one like i had to wait in a house where somebody brought it to you and then he he wanted to hit it like i didn't buy this for you to hit it and there was people there like i thought i was going to get robbed and you know what i'm I mean. It's like, and in those places, dude, I left a connect once where that fucking place got rogged an hour later.

And they fucked those fools up. They beat the dogs up. They didn't fuck around. They came in with bats, beat up the dogs, hit the bird cage, let the parakeet out. They didn't get a fuck dog. Let me tell you something. We live very different lives.

You got to remember, my God. For you, go went to one of those businesses. Yeah. Throw everybody off guard. You got to go in there locked, loaded, ready to go. But the number one thing

you got to go in there is with the element of surprise. See, people are in a strip club waiting for two black guys to come in with shotguns and say, freeze. Everybody hit the floor. But let me tell you something, when you're sitting there with a glass of water, drinking

clubs on it, and also some guy comes in with a bat, starts swinging in, and start hitting people's craniums and you hear people's skulls crack and they start going down one by one and they're just they're going down five per minute car, car, God,

God, God, God, God, and you got five guys or six guys doing that with bats and two of them with guns and one guy with an automatic weapon two guys down the block with fucking radios two more guys around the corner

with block cars with scanners That's how to take over those fucking hell of it. Yeah, yeah. That's SWAT tactical off the street. That's motherfucking, you know, dude, you train in the jungles and shit to take over the crack houses. And you watch the schedule. Yeah.

You watch the schedule. You see when the packages leave, when they come back, you know. That's some shit right there. It's a, bro, that's a complete different world. That was my world. I love that shit, George. I could snoop it out. I had a nose, for instance,

1881 and a half. Wow. I could find that shit. And it's a come-up. And I would see people, and I would see how they'd act, and all of a sudden I'd find out they were a drug dealer,

and I would buy something from them, and then back off, buy it again, back off. And by the third time, George, they start to mown their guts. Yeah. You catch them at 1130 with three bucks. jumps on him. And they're like, this is the best shit you'll ever get. I get this from a guy called

El Mulo. He shows up every Wednesday at midnight. He gives me the package. That means if you come in and they're gun to blaze on Thursday morning at 7 o'clock. It's ready. It's ready for you. That dude ain't going to be ready. No, and he hasn't even cut it yet. It's right there. Yeah, it's right there. He hasn't. He's been looking at it, snort, they're jerking off. Taking Instagram pictures with it. Let me tell you something. You kick that door and you throw a smoke bomb in there. Four dudes, six in the morning. You didn't have a smoke bomb.

Please tell me you didn't have smoke bomb. Yes. You throw out of that. Where do you get a smoke bomb? The firework ones, they don't work. The container, you draw it down. The container hits the floor and smoke comes out of it. And it throws them the fuck out.

By the time they even notice the smoke, you got guns on it. Where's the cocaine? I don't know what you're talking about. Their mom's on the floor with a gun to a half. fucking hair. You put your shoggin in her mouth. Where's the cocaine? It's in the closet. Take the cocaine. Boom. You have cash in the house? No, I don't.

I'll fucking shoot her in the leg, motherfucker. I got 10 grand in the fucking thing. Boom. All right. Boom. Nobody, this never happened. Go back to bed. You got a car waiting down the corner. You get in it. You just scored fucking, you know, a kilo of Coke. Which you

get for free. You could drop it on a motherfucker. Straight up. Straight up. 30K between four guys. That's not a bad payday. You get one or two of those a week. You're bawling. Have you seen that movie Wonderland?

It's the movie about John Holmes. You know, John Holmes. I know which movie you're talking about. Yeah, where they fucking rob the biggest Persian. It takes place in Hollywood and he convinces other guys to go rob them for him. And they didn't give him no cut. so he he gets caught and the guy that catches him make him go back and kills everybody dog it's what's that street you told me fountain when you're fucking on coke always take

fountain it takes place on fountain that's what's crazy i remember you told me you used to have a drug dealer by there where you would you would you would do it right you got off because you know after fountain you were going to be on sunset you watch that movie wonderland it's with val kilmer he plays John Holmes and he after he's done doing porn he becomes a big ass drug addict and I guess

since he was like the most famous porn star back then all the millioners would invite him to his parties and he would take people back there to go rob you afterwards like you said he would make you get comfortable with them it's a fucking crazy movie and I guess it's a true story

George from 84 to 87 until I got caught. I don't know how many people I clip for an ounce. Five. Which in my world was a ton. Fuck it.

And it's uncut, pure. There was times that here that this guy just got a quarter pound. And the next thing, I see this asshole going skiing. And I could fucking Jimmy his door and take it on. George, it was pathetic. And then it got to the point where when I was in it in Snowman's Village

once people knew I met business everybody opened their doors to me and when you're doing coke bro your mouth goes your mouth starts to go because you've got to prove your point this cocaine I get from this guy

called El Guapo he drops it off via helicopter you know and then we have to go up there with sneeze you know and then they look at it taste it test it 93% then you gotta start talking your shit

oh no no I get this from the Jew the Jew brings it from Israel via Colombia where they reprocess it it's 92% taste how clean this is

and next thing you know your mouth is going bro what's the best shit you've gotten dog like from who was it in Cuba was it in Miami

was it in Jersey where did you get the best shit well you have to go with the time periods and the time zone and the evolution of cocaine and how it went from being one thing to what it is today.

Okay. When I was still snort in 2007, it was very speedy. Because it got cut bad, huh? I don't know. You know, now they put shit in it right in Colombia, Mexico. It was speedy.

It was also not cut with the ether. Okay. When I first started doing coke, you do two. First off, I didn't get high on coke for the first year, George. I thought everybody was playing a trick on me. You had strong mucus back then? I got this shit out of here.

I realized I had a drink with it. Oh, I got you now. Once I drank with it. Fuck, I got you. I got fucked up as shit. It was the best combo. Oh, my God. I do two lines and have a mickleover, too.

and I'd be fucked up. My jaw would go and I'd be all happy and talk to people and there was a party and I love you. And when this check comes in, I'm going to have a million dollars. Let's do another bump. Let's get another beer. I'm waiting for Ed McMahon.

Oh, talking shit, Josh. In those days, I was not thinking about entertainment. I thought that somebody was going to walk in someplace and go, you're a funny guy. Let me put you in a movie. I never knew about auditions or no auditions. That's crazy. Now, Joey, like, you know what's weird, dog is I knew you grew up.

Did you ever do Coke? Like, like, I heard cocaine got fucked up when it became crack. Like, did you do Coke before they even made crack? Yeah, no, let me tell you what happened. Yeah. This is the bottom line about what happened. I was exposed to cocaine at a young age. Did I look at it and stuff?

Not really. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you, I looked at it. The first time I looked at cocaine was October of 79. That was two. That was the first time, and I'll elaborate on that some other time. But I took a little bit of it, like maybe two and a half grams. Wow. And I took it up to my room, and at that time I had a promise.

At that time, I had snorted T.A. crystal. And you know what killed me about snorting T.A. crystal? That I violated my number one rule. I wouldn't ever put another thing out by nose. Okay, that was like your self-go I just had a little private personal rule that I did not want to put something

up my nose so once I did the T-HC I said okay I'll stop at that I got a lung infection they took me to the hospital and they said they were going to scrape my lungs they put me out and they scraped my lungs

and I thought it was the TAT crystal was going to be in the results I was fucking 15 years old so three days I sweated in that hospital bed, because I was going to come up positive for T.C. Crystal when they snored in my fucking lungs. Oh, my God.

They never said nothing. I never said nothing. I never cop to it. You know me, dog. I don't know nothing until you get the lie detector test. I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. So, no, George, but then I looked at it for a couple days.

I had it in my draw hidden. And one day, I know I was going to play hooky. My sophomore. a year and I took it with me I'm gonna sell it today oh shit but I ended up with this dude I knew it was cool as fuck

and I knew if we did it he would never say that and I would never say that so we all cut out of school and went back to his house our friends came over but they were in the basement me and him upstairs make some peppermint shaps and vodka

with crushed ice we took a bunch of crushed ice and crushed it into little pebble least I had. And then we filled the glasses up with just that. And then we sprinkled cocaine on top it. And we drank like two of those

and we thought we were like big shots. Look at us. This is way before Scarface guys. This is 1979 in my man Loubs' kitchen all right at 11.30 in the morning. Like a week before Halloween.

or in his kitchen there's maybe six dudes downstairs with a case of courts courts. Courts. 32-1s beer Oh, I got you.

Here's the problem. We just robbed a beer truck. We were going to eat breakfast and we saw a beer truck delivering and we pulled down. We'd go, come up, let's take a beer. We took them for a case, but it was courts. So what did we do?

We had a couple options. We could bring it to a liquor store and trade it out. and pay a few bucks, and the guy makes an extra five bucks when he sells the thing. Or, we take him back to your house, we fill your tub up with beer for ice.

And that's exactly. We took it back to the kid's house, put scoops of fucking ice on it from the store, waited 10 minutes. We bought another fucking case of beer. And everybody downstairs was smoking pot outside and drinking. Nobody knew me, and my dog were upstairs.

About to do a blast. And we just kept looking at each other. What do you think? Should we do it? Let's try it. Let's try it. And next to you know, we go, let's do it. We had already drank two drinks with the cocaine sprinkled not.

Yeah, then it had your blood pumping and your brain was thinking. Oh, my hair was growing. Once we did those first two lines, I wasn't hooked. It wasn't until I heard Black Sabbath snowblind. That it all made sense to me. I'm like, oh, I'm going into a deep dark area now. I need this shit. Fuck.

But that was it. That was basically the first. That it took me like maybe two weeks to do it again, maybe three weeks. Yeah, when you're young, it's hard to find as an adult. Oh, listen, I always tell people, this is how old I am. You saw what happened with California or we, one day, you'll be. going somewhere to buy a weed now you can pull over

as long as you have your license and your ID and you can pull over and go to 711 and go oh shit there's a weed store right there. Hold on me five minutes hunt. You go in there you sign the paperwork they ask you two stupid questions they buzz you in they give you

an envelope with papers lighter fucking roach clip and you get a free edible that's harder than shit and they give you a gram of certain weed. Yeah, that fucking...

Yeah, that sucks going on the way, yeah. The shit like their cousin snuck in through the tires. I know what my point is. What happened here in California you saw? I saw the growth of cocaine just how we saw the weed growth. Oh, I got you. We were doing acid, drinking, and smoking pot

to fuck the ass and which was $3 a hit tops to buy it $50 a half a gram and we would split that between two people that was a lot when you're in high school fuck yeah I didn't even touch it until I was an adult dog I was scared opening bang out when you're in high school june at 25 bucks to open up at the club because we were getting a half gram

no matter what. Either you're in or you're out. If you're in and you talk your friend into it, maybe we get an eight ball and we get a little more. What do you think? Let's get an eight ball, throw some cut on it, because the shit we're getting is fucking fire anyway.

Yeah. Who was like the biggest rock group at that time? Like what music were you fucking bump? Was it David Bowie? Like, what were you bumping to enjoy that high of Coke? Let's face it. there's really no music that you enjoy. At that beginning level of cocaine.

Yeah, you're right, because I don't enjoy it now or later. But I do remember one memory that still till this day, Hansen. When I was a kid at one point, there were two dudes in my neighborhood. I was friends of both. I loved them both dearly. There was a problem, no, George. These two dudes had fought. Oh, I feel you had little beef at each other.

other. So every time I would talk to one guy on the way out, he would go, tell your buddy, I got my eye and I'm still going to fuck him out. And every time I'd hang out with Lee, Lee would say to me, dog, tell you buddy, I got my eye and I'm going to catch him one of his nights, what he did to me. This went on for a year. I'm friends of both. Guess what happens? My mother dies. Oh. The one dude says to me, do you want to live with me? I said, absolutely. I move in. everything's fucking tremendous. One night, who do I go out with Didi?

And he has a heart attack. And I hang out with Dedes. I love Dede. At that time, Dedy was a fucking pisser. He was tough. We fucking snort blow. He was two years younger than me. If I was 16,

Dini was 14. Wow. Snort and drinking with men. You know what I'm saying? Like a fucking savage. That's why they called the Mancha. because he was really a fucking animal of death of Satan.

So we both became, they both became heated. So one night I'm working at a gas station and I rolled this attendant, this freaky Freddy, dude. I'm supposed to rob him and buy an eight ball and chop him the eight ball with him.

I'll never forget this. Like, we had done this ten times. I kicked him in the stomach. Like, when I, if you, think I'm exaggerate. This guy got robbed. If they look back at the New Jersey logs of gas stations that got robbed, even with the cops down the corner,

that gas station will get robbed three times of one, Georgia. Even with the cops, like, 500 feet away? They would be drinking coffee 50 feet away. They would still rob that gas station because if you ran the one direction, you ran into like Joanne Kellett's house and this other girl's house

that was kind of fucked up in those days, but there's a bridge there. If you can make it to the bridge, you're pretty good. There's still a little, at that time it was underdeveloped and shit. Okay. But at that point, you have two roads

going opposite directions. There's exits there in those days. I remember looking at that. What the fuck we talk about you? Tell you about the liquor store that got robbed by the... There was a liquor store that used to get robbed by the police station. There was a gas station. So this one day, this dude's half fucking jacked up.

He's telling me, you got to rob me every once in a while because that's the only one my wife was sleeping me. I must have fucked them up a couple times for seven and eight hundred. This dude would ask me, how much one is going to have on me? he go yeah you're right I always he always had 700 800 800 so we'd split the money but buy an eight ball for him wow that was the deal in those days I got an ball for 250 so if I'd rob him I say 400 we'd each take 75 hours and he got a baseball off the top damn that's pretty smart to get away with your wife so and he took a beating yeah he took two punches to the face I fucked up his eyebrow.

I mean, it was ridiculous. And I'd bring Deity with me. Oh, fucked up. And we'd rob him. This time I'm living with this other character, who I love Daly still today. And he would give me shit about hanging out with Dini.

And one night, I got this whole night planned. I'm going to hook up with Freaky Freddy. I'm going to rob him once and for all. He's never going to see me. What's he going to do? Go to the cops. He's creepy Freddy.

He's already taking 35 punches for me. What's he going to do? He knows I can fucking knock him the fuck out at this age. At this point, it wasn't easy to clock him in the head. I had done it 30 times already.

So, I take the Coke, and my plan is to take the Coke. I got a case of being lined up, and I'm going back to where I'm living. Because the dude I'm living when they're supposed to go out. And me and that,

Didi got the house till about 11. And then 11, we go to Deity's house and snort there to his brother gets home at three or four from the club. Yeah, you got to have separate spots. So we had the tremendous thing. Well, guess what? Way before we get over there, I called over there. My boy calls me, goes, I'm not going out. These guys hated each other.

Oh, yeah. I walked in first, and I go, hey, man, here's the deal. We brought beer. There's weed here. your parents ain't coming home tomorrow can you make peace of this kid tonight he's here and he goes all right let him in

and this guy playing like a big shot was 16 years old and this guy's like thank you welcome to my house let's forgive bygone this shit but what you didn't know is that this dude couldn't drink so we got this coke burning a hole in my pockets and we're like how we're gonna get rid

of home boy because he don't do coke he don't believe yeah well how we're gonna get the home boy. Next thing, you know, a home boy drinks a full beer, and he goes, hold on, I got to go to the bedroom and take a nap. He lays down.

Only does he take a nap, this is how hard he passes out of the uncle. Guess what, I just come out? Rap is delight. Oh, yeah. We put that out on. Maybe, George, how long as I know you, we put that out of maybe 80 times that night.

Oh, no, no, no, we just kept snorting that fucking eight ball. Me and this kid snoring that eight ball. Finally, when he kind of came through at about five, the light was coming out. We took off. We went to a park with like eight beers. Yeah. And we sat and watched the sun come up. And we snored the rest of them.

That's the first time I go, oh, my God, I'm fucked up. My jaw was going. I was paranoid. No, no, no, no. At that point, I didn't get paranoid. At that point, it was still fun. I was still social. Yeah.

I could go to your house and you wouldn't know I was tweaking. You know what I'm saying? I was still at that point of cocaine. Yeah, like you get to a point where you catch all your actions and you're saying, I'm acting like this. Yeah. I can't believe I'm doing that. And the next day, I never forget I saw Freaky Freddy.

He's like, what happened to the cocaine? I'm not going to believe it. The cops pulled me over. Fuck you. The cops didn't know nothing. And that took me to the hospital. where's my end my wife is on my ass she had a pink jacket on that night with a bikini his wife weighed like 400 pounds and what they would do they knew they were getting the coke they would get a jacuzzi delivered and those days the company would come to your house set up a jacuzzi in your living room oh fuck and you would climb into it and you could have sex in there and then they came back the next day they put the hose in the tub they let you fuck take the nut out oh my god hysterical so she was huge She never even left the apartment.

It was one of those situations. The only way he could have sex with her is if he would give her cocaine. It was crazy, George, and I'm fucking 16 years old. Yeah, daw, that's crazy. I never saw Freaky Freddy again. And this is New York Jersey, right? This is Jersey via 1980, maybe. I had to work at the gas station.

I lasted a month because, you know what I mean? I got to take a 50 on the way out. You got me here from, you got me here from six to two in the morning. I'm missing parties. Yeah. That eight bucks an hour. I ain't coming. You charged a $50 big just to work?

Just to walk in. That was the term in those days. That was light. There were some people who took you for $200 right off the top. I knew a bartender in New York that the first day I started at this place. He goes, listen, we take $1.40 off the top. Fuck. So you're basically

But in those days Yeah but you each had a register And in those days Again Eight guys Six dollars a beer That's 48 bucks You would ring in eight bucks

Okay You understand You understand how you do it You fucking put it in There was no cameras There was really And guess what You can Z out in those days

Take that money And start all over again I know what Z out means. That's when you clear the register. So right off the top. Fucking Joey's old school. There was no computer. It was a roll of paper.

All you had to do is get that paper, cut it out. Can Z out. Put the fucking date on it. I don't even need my fun givis. You know what I don't know nothing. You unplug the register, plugged it back in. What the fuck you think you're dealing? Drop a story on George Perez.

I got to run to the bathroom. I'm an old man. Don't even trip. Let me wrap it up. So, yeah. Lee, you know what, Lee, you always ask me crazy questions. Go ahead. Ask me anyone, dog.

Okay. So I've been watching a lot of lockup. There's a bunch of lockups on... Oh, I'm so glad. On Netflix. And I'm obsessed with them. What are you obsessed with? Okay.

It seems like everyone is just like a liar straight to your face. Ever at all times. From the guards to the other inmates. And like, it just seems like a crazy place to be like a lie, too. Are you watching like lockup in California, Mississippi, Alabama? I've watched all of them. The one I'm watching now was like first timers. Okay, I got you.

Well, let me break you down. All those people that they're interviewing on lockup, those are all special need yard offenders. What does that mean? They're tattletails, rapists, pedophiles, snitches, or they're like men that have tits. or they're like, yeah, they put them on a special needs yard. So you don't like the people on lockup? Fuck, no, I hate those motherfuckers.

But, you know, once in a while, the blacks, they go, they go to a different kind of politics because on the real prison yards, they're not a lot of come and interview you. Yeah, they go crazy with the cameras. No, like, we won't let it happen. It just won't happen.

like yeah they must they must control it they're not gonna know yeah yeah because they're on like a like yeah have you seen that new one they got this one where they send they put you in the county jail and fuck that nope no watch it i'm not gonna be on that show like like they made a red they put a regular person in there to try to convince the convicts to think their convicts we've been watching that and it's fucking crazy because they one chick found out that this other chick was a cop too and she was like hey you're here for ed you're for the program huh like she was like checking or like bitch you need to act better because i can tell you it never been locked up and they don't know how to adjust to it i wouldn't know how to adjust to

it that's it's uh like that i i never want to go i don't know i i would not survive you'd love it lee no it wouldn't you would start your own podcast in there try. Like five walkmans and some headphones. You become an assently. You go in there, showing what you can do

with the computer. You know how to make things happen. Next thing you know, your asshole is protected. That's all. No matter. You have to just become,

what's that word? That Rambo always uses. They used to always use you just, um, I'm just, uh, I forgot. Nobody fucking knows

secure. And that's I haven't seen Rambo in a while, man. Expendable. Expendable. Once you become fucking, you know, that you could make everybody in there prosper and happy. Yep.

And you make the main guy happy. That's it. As long as you're doing graphics for the main dude, shit that he likes that he sends out, yeah. What up, dog, you know. That's it. You're covered. Now people got to pay you.

You give him a Vig. And everybody's happy. Why not, Lee? Yeah. At least you're not getting fucked in the ass. by the Aryan nation. You're doing sketches for him all down. I can't go to the Aryan nation.

I'm fucked. I understand. Do they have Jewish gangs? No. No, you. I got like three Jews. What am I going to do? See, here's the deal.

They would have three Jews, but they don't know what they're doing. They're walking around with beady eyes, looking around every fucking guy. I'm circumcised. I can't hide it. So now what you do is you go in there and you go right to the fucking Mexicans. Because you know them, you make sure that you get alliances. either the Mexicans or the brothers. You would do better with the brothers

because you could teach him shit and fuck them. You know, computers, how to do a podcast. I don't think they want to know that. Maybe the baddest black dude wants to be a rapper. He just needs to mix tape his shit to bust his motherfucking game. You go right to the head of the black dudes. Listen, my name is Lysayat.

I'm a podcast producer. I've been producing podcast. What the fuck's he talking about? man, man, listen, excuse me, sure I didn't mean to love it. I don't think I give you that much time to explain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very, very, very effective. You'll be fine. I just start talking. Religion doesn't overpower race. They're going to like, look. It's all about the Benjamin's leave. The end of the fucking day. I'm right.

Tell them how they're going to make money on Lisa. Yeah, you're going to be like. And everything you make, they get a piece of out of respect. You understand. You're at the fucking. What am I respecting them? It doesn't matter. it because if not they don't respect your asshole

so what would you rather respect going to the hospital when you're 27 with enemies or giving $10 out of the 40 you're making which ain't going to make you or break you understand me you give somebody $10 in a bag of cookies in prison ain't nothing to happen to your asshole Lisa

$10 in a bag of cookies What if someone else wants $10 in a bag of cookies The guy that you're giving the $10 in bag of cookies He smooths and is out the humps in the bumps. Okay. He says, George, listen, hands off, Lisa, he's my gulmody, you know what I'm saying? Nothing can happen

to him. He's very good with the computer. In fact, if your sister needs a passport, he'll type it up for you in 30 days, 300 ahead, give you 50 off the top, tell your mom to put 50 on my books. Straight up. Right? Straight up. That's it. And the money for him,

he works for you now, give him two points, And he's a good man to be around George Perez. And that's how you do it, Lee. And next thing you know, on Sundays, George Perez brings in Mexican food. The black dude brings in Cheeto Pie and Popeye's chicken. You have no family.

And next thing you know, they invite you in. And you're eating with them on Sunday. It's the weirdest thing. It's been in there. Yeah, dude. I know you'd make it because... On visitation day, yeah. People bringing food.

Yeah, I know you'd make it. because the last prison I was at, I used to work with this guy that was a 54-year-old little white man that was in there for attempted murder because they tried to jump him at a bar. And they embarrassed them. And this guy was fragile, cool. But like, since he knew me now and we work together,

he worked x-rays and I worked on the yard. So if I needed cigarettes or anything took to the x-ray department, he was like, I haven't had a cigarette in four years, dog. Now I smoke one every day because of you. exactly what you said man you put you put bread to the basket dog they'll be nice you'll protect your butt hopefully is that like your fear getting butt raped in prison uh that's not great king be up's not great it's all it's the whole not the whole listen the whole idea of prison so this day george peres could have came out of prison got a gun and go rob the back yeah fuck that you know prison

is intended to give you fear. It's what fear you were. When I was 22, dog, I had no fear. Hell no. I always thought I was going to get away. I know what I know people. I know the judge. I swear I got, George.

I was delusioned. Because when I was from, those people made calls. Attorneys showed up. They knew the deal. Here I am walking with three. I'm fucking 30 cents away from a quarter. And I'm fucking walking around. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

And if I get nailed, especially in Hudson County, I can make a few calls. Which at that time I could. It would have been my first arrest. Everybody would have said he was a good kid. This never happened with him before. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Wrong letters and shit.

Yeah, you know. But eventually you get nailed. Eventually, you get fucking nailed. If you're committing felonies on a... Because felonies are things that you don't even realize you're doing that at the time. Yeah. I have a feeling.

felony man that's no fucking joke when I did that with that dude with even with the gun I always start in the back of my mind I get away with it until while I was doing it until like you felt like the steel on your hand and the trigger you're like

damn dog this is getting ugly yeah like they could shoot you for having that this is at this point here at that time I didn't get anxiety what I got was this heat in my head and I would hear voices and shit now.

I'm hearing noises right now. That's because that star of death is getting to me. Would you like a star of death? Yeah. All right. Just in case you want to see the devil. You look Mexican to me right now. Good, good, good, good, good.

You said, hold on, let me get some shoutouts. Get some shoutouts here tonight to some special fucking people. My girl, Jessica Jewel, my man Marko, the bartender at the chop house. Milwaukee fucking tremendous place. If you ever in Milwaukee, go to the chop house and see my man, Marco. He brought me a beautiful album, George Carlin, live from the Carnegie Hall.

I also want to give a shout out to my girl Charlie, who drove down and hung out with us, Aunt Ellie, Stuart Richards, R.G. Madden, who took the food recommendations. Thank you. Lee doesn't even take my food recommendations. And my brother, R.G. Madden, the best man in the world. No, you haven't. Who do you think turned you on to Lollas?

Me. B. Dono. You know, I love you. Nathan McDowell, Nathan Merrick. Matthew McDowell. I'm sorry. Matthew McDowell, Nathan Merrick, and Robert Lorbell or something like that. You know, I love you, Cocksuckuckers.

In the afternoons, I'm starting when I'm wrong. writing these and that's just the way it works out. Don't give me no shit. I'm at stage two. It's called working out with Joey next Thursday night. I think it's $10.

I'm going to go in there with a notebook. At the Ice House. At the Ice House. I'm going to go in a notebook and just talk for a fucking hour and leasing to be there taping. He's always the assistant to the assistant to the assistant to the assistant.

Oh my God. There's some many new assistants now. Oh, my goodness. I'll be selling 20 sacks at the show, don't. It's my ball. Be selling 20 sacks. And that's the way.

You have any dates, Doug? That people come to say. No, not right now. Not this week. I'm taking the week off as far as. Good. Good. Even a podcast, though.

Yeah. George got a banging new podcast. I saw it was like number 17 or the 17th one. I don't know. I think I owe 17 months. No. You got to come up here and let me, we'll meet you halfway and I'll do it with you.

I'll come to you, I would love it. Yeah. It's called George Perez Stories. It's on. iTunes, SoundCloud, Google Play. I'm new to it, dog. Like, I'm loving it. You're the one that, like, I remember after I did Rogan, you brought me in here, and you checked me, and I was, hey, doc, thank you for that push, man.

Like, you have to do a podcast. You have a voice, bro. Oh, thank you. But, like, it's weird. Like, I didn't know how much work you have to put into it, dog. And I got to give you props, though. You and Lee, fuck. This is some work, dog.

Some work. You know, man, you have to stay on top of this. I love it. I can tell. I love it that I have a good partner. You know, he's always on time. He's punctual. He does his job.

There's no drama. He makes me laugh my ass off. For the last 20 minutes, he keeps looking. Yeah. I have to just listen. For years, Felice used to come to me and say, we have to cut the 100 episodes and make the best of. I never people would ever renege on our deal.

I get hit up for pantheon and all that stuff. I would never renege on our deal. I would never, ever, ever come to you and say, listen, from now on, I'm going to give you this for a dollar, but I tell you what I will do. For a dollar, I will get somebody to cut 35 minutes at least I had some head mounts and back and forth, making noises, okay?

And for an extra bonus, I don't know what we'll give you. But here's what we want to do. For a dollar, you just donate. to your favorite charity. We don't even want the dollar. Let's do that. Just to make Lee feel good. We'll do six months and just camera work,

one camera only, taping two hours a night. Of all, his head move is beginning to ending. We'll give you three episodes. You can vote for the best one. Okay, we're going to give you options here. This is very smart. Can I get the dollars for one of the three episodes?

What? Can I get the, one of the dollars for one another three can I donate two out of the three to Karen. There's no dollars. You don't get a dollar. This is to prove that I'm telling you, I'm telling you that you people are watching

shitty comedy. Comedy is sitting over here trying to talk to a guest while I'm fucking watching Lisa pass out, come back to life, look at the fucking ceiling, make a noise.

He looks like a little. a fish that's waiting for his owner to go home. Look at the computer, scratch his head, rubbing his eyeballs. It's a nut. Make it hear those noises. Well, you always take less stars than I do.

No, I know. You see you think... Oh. I eat five stars walking up to space. You did not eat from. You had a slushy hair. Oh my God. I'm getting some stuff sent to me. They just pour into

like drinks. And it's 250 milligrams. you make like a shake out of it? No, well, most people pour it into like, like a caterer or something. Okay. Like a protein drink? No, they might have protein. I don't know, but I'll check.

George Perez, it's good to see you. Good to see you, man. I love you, brother. You make me feel warm. I'm not rapping. I'm fucking, you're rocking and rolling. George Ferrez radio. Promoting in shitstone to the gills on the star of death.

Yeah, I'm fucking high as fuck. I just want to shout out of Dustin, who gave me a note, gave a note to Joe, Andrew said I'm too fat for your shirts and gave me some money. So thank you, Dustin. I want to thank the people of Milwaukee, the people who came to the Papstead. I also want to thank the people that came to the magic hat. That was, the more I think about it, it was a different type show for me. And I got to tell you something, I felt great about the shows,

but most importantly, I'm happy you people fucking came out. I start in a little room. You people wanted more tickets. You respond, and we wanted the big room. You know what? We didn't sell out, but it was a great fucking audience. So thank you for coming out Friday night. And Michigan, the Canadians who drove down,

thank you for coming now. Fucking Saturday night, you bad motherfuckers. Just like that, George Perez. You know what I'm saying? That's what's up. Now I'm home for five fucking weeks trying to dig up new fucking material. Yeah, I called you in you were in Milwaukee.

I was like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm at fucking Starbucks in Milwaukee League, order. Well, I said, Lee, come over. No, you were like, Lee, order. I wasn't there, but I didn't. That's what I just remember you saying that shit. No, that was when I called you.

I don't want to talk. I called you up because I was like, you don't believe what happened last night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was here? Was I here? You were in Milwaukee. It was Thursday.

I called you Thursday. No, it was Friday. You were in Milwaukee Friday, weren't you? Yeah. Because I called you in the daytime. It was like two o'clock. I had coffee over there. Yeah, it wasn't Lee.

It was a friend of mine. Okay. My bad. My bad. He's cheating on you, Lee. I know. Lee's got responsibilities. He's got women in the shit.

He's got, he's got to answer. Have you said, have you gone ziplining yet, Lee? Don't get him started. Why got to get him started, bro? You know what happened. He broke their wrong. I didn't break nothing. I'm a zip line master.

You know. Oh, shit. You want to agree. Group on. They looked at them. And then they made them pay, right, and he couldn't get on. I remember. They got on. They gave them physical.

They all looked at each other. They didn't know. They put them on that robe. But it's all bullshit, because the place was closed. And the place we went to breakfast in the morning told us that a 98-year-old man got carried up the mountain, and he could do it. So I don't know why we couldn't do it. Like, they had to carry this. He put him in his coffin

And he could do it And like a quarter of the group got taken off Stop, Billy, he broke the rope I did not break any rope Yes, he did I was in better shape them than I am now And I'm still able to do it I'll put all the way

You can't do it to that Oh my God Broke the rope like a Buddhist mom constantly If I took a rope right now I'm outside They don't use like a Home Depot like... What kind of rope?

They use a special rope. Like what kind of special rope? They have a very specific... Specific rope just for this. Ziplining rope that doesn't snap. But what's the difference between you holding on to a rope for one minute than me ziplining?

What the fuck does that have to do with the price of eggs? I don't know what you're talking about. Like no, we'll just make you jump. We'll pick you up. Right. You'll grab a rope and just hold it for a minute. Okay. You can do that?

No, you can't. None of a million years. about to hold it. They're supposed to be a fucking a little bar a harness and a bar and you go, ooh, is he? I did it at camp and they put it and you can hug over the back too. Did they push you and shit and you kick your legs

on? No, they could do this different moves. Spider-Man and Batman. Did you fit the harness? Yes, of course they've been the harness. The second time too. Tell us the truth. Didn't you have your family? Of course, I, I, of course, when I was doing kennelbells

every day I was in great I'm not great the best shape of my life whatever but I could fit in a harness they don't have harnesses for like ever coming fit models Joey

you could fit in a harness no I don't they probably have Ralphie Mae harnesses no they don't yes they do what do you break the harness did you break the harness

did you break the latch belt what broke secure don't even want to look at you and nothing broke what happened Nothing happened. I just couldn't.

You failed the physical. I didn't feel the physical. Your insurance didn't pass. No, God, damn. They didn't like my break. Then my hand didn't go down smooth enough. That's why everyone got canceled. They didn't let you do that.

The brake test, like, no, he don't know how to use the brakes. Get him the fuck off. He don't know how to use the brakes. You broke the rope with a brake. God, I was serving as ever. It was terrible. I love you, dude. fucking lovely.

Oh my God, I want to kill. And they were mean, too. They had a dog in the office to make them seem nice. And then, like, every time, because, like, when you go in the out, like, a quarter of the group gets checked off. So they go back to the office, and the manager's like, no, we're not giving your money back. Or they're like, we'll give you a coupon.

But it's like an hour outside of the middle of nowhere. So you have to go. And then they have to leave, like, 10 minutes later. And they're like, oh, that was a waste of time and money. but then they got you oh my god yeah it's a scam oh shit that's too much that's crazy

scam people who run scams are crazy yeah they're pieces of shit I don't know how you do that oh you crack me the fucking I'm glad I'm fucking high as fuck you broke the rope tremendous I do not god damn it show me he did something fucked up

they don't line on before and it was a special rope I think it's this yeah it's the fucking rope. They fucking grease it with something. They don't grease it with anything. They put it in.

Then how do you glide on it there? It's like a coating. Because you're going 8,000 miles and hours. No, no, no, no, no. Don't go to any zip light if the Joey opens. You're going to die.

That rope had splinters and shit. They coat that with something, a certain chemical. They look like a plastic. Right. Then they finish it with a plastic. Then they put a loop on that, and they put a harness on that with another ring. And you sit in a harness

like a child and swing down with your legs. Okay, they had a hard time with the harness. You talked. No, I didn't. No, I don't know. That's the pain of the air.

The harness is to fit anybody. Oh, my God. As long as you're under 250. That's the limit. All right, so you got in the harness. I got in the harness. Let me ask you up. Were there any panic signs?

What? Were there any panic? Did you hear the rope like going? I haven't heard one. panic sign but I was fine I've done it before I don't know it it was a

it's a van that drives up the mountain it's cool has hydraulics in it and you get out there's like one little you get one try and they're like nope and then your day's just over no

yeah they're just like no that's not good how long did you go five minutes and they're like go over there and then we're going to take you home I'm like, what? And like, yeah, you can't, you're not good enough. And I was like,

can we try again? No. There's no time. And it's not inexpensive. So, fuck them. I'm glad they're our business. You on there. They heard the rope rattling in the shit.

Oh, my God. I read the Yelp report. I can't. You want on Yelp. I read that concert attack. Oh, yeah. I attacked them on Yelp. They're supposed to.

They said that they waged you. scale was fucked up they took a chance the harness was shaky the harness disintegrated when I took it off Oh my God you're a fucking

trivly That's why I love you to death I guess What's been going on in Georgia In your life A lot of Parenting right now Dog my kid's 21 and 18

And yeah Dog they're going through The changes in life Like, I want to do this. I want a truck. I want that. I want a car. So I got to give them a little help out, a little starter kit for them.

They work in. It's cool. I've been spending a lot of time with my daughter, podcasting a lot lately, and a lot of less partying, dog. You know, I've been doing a lot more of the hustle. I like it. You know, chilling with red band all the time. That's my boy right there. That's a thing, man.

Yeah. The party takes up so much of your time. Fuck yeah. It's 20, 25, 30 hours a week If you party five nights a week To find party, Joey Two nights you go out And you get fucked up hungry

Like, you eat a Mexican hot dog And you go home and pass the fuck out Hell Yeah Loaded with onions with fucking Halapeno Lust You go right home and pass

Huh Then there's the other nights Where the mystery nights where you're having a good time at the bun and next thing you know three chicks eight guys let's go to this guy's house

and party and he goes coming he's got an ounce for sale that's death on two legs yeah that's what fucked me up is I was always partying with the strippers after work and you know they just got done hustling drug dealers so they

they just like me because they thought you know what if we fuck him we don't got to tip him a lot no more that was their hustle too So I was just like, you know what, fuck it. They got good drugs. I'd party with them. And I would, I couldn't recover. I would still be going on.

I would be at work the next day. Then I'd go do comedy. Like, I never let my body recover until like two days later. I'd be like, oh, fuck. I could finally sleep for eight hours. It was some crazy shit. Low beat this time. I was like 37, 36.

I went strong until I hit about 40. Yeah. And then at 40, you're trying to be accurate with. No, no, no, you're absolutely right. 37, 38. I mean, it was with a sleep apnea went from level 6 to level. Five. I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was a cocaine that wasn't letting me sleep in there. I would take a Tylenol 2 and shit. And that would knock me out for a little while. It was scary. Fuck, I can imagine. No, man, what started fucking me up is like I started seeing myself in the mirror. And I hated it. I was petrified of myself.

I was just like, look at your fucking face. You catch yourself when you're peeing. Who hell? Yeah, dog. That's the worst. Take your dick out. You lift up the toilet seat like a gentleman. Take your dick out.

You kind of feel good about yourself. You're peeing. It's yellow. There's no blood. That's a dark. Yellow. And all of a sudden, you look up at the, you look up, you just look up, and there's the mirror, and there you are. And it's 5.48 in the morning.

You should have been asleep five fucking hours ago. If you're a regular comedian, you have to get up in the morning with your kids. It's 548. Your eyeballs are in fire. You and I both know at this point in our lives, we're not hitting the sack till eight. You still got five, ten bumps to do And that's, oh my God, yes You still, because you don't want to take the sack

No really, you know, I'm just gonna do the rest of it But by that point, you're not high anymore But you said to yourself, you know what? I'll snort it all and just jerk off till I pass on. Yeah. And you'll jerk off six times Nothing comes up

And at one point you wake up Six and a half hours later, thirsty as a motherfucker and when you wake up your nuts are just squeezed together like just two little horns like you know the things

like cow hams they look like others you have no fluid left in your bottle like you're dehydrated it's super dehydrated you get up you open up that refrigerator

it's iced tea with no lemon you inhale that shit you just need fluids you just need fluids orange juice water anything

oh my God it's fucking terrible I don't miss any of that joint And you know what, too? Like, my back finally feels better. Like, I was doing so much coke back then. Like, I think they were cutting it with something I was fucking my back up.

I was too young to have a fucked-up bag. Then I stopped doing it and drink a lot of water. Now my back is back. Your back? My back is back. It's back like a motherfucker. Lysayat. What's your deal tonight?

Tell me your take on this also, Joaquin. It's your final thought. What's your final thought? Wrap this up. My final thought is drugs are crazy. It's a... I have a lot of stuff that I have fucked up with me, but I'm glad that...

It makes me grateful that I never had that happen to me. Because it just sounds like it's great, but just terrible. Yeah. I have the same time. What are you going to do? You know what I'm saying? Thank God you're not going through it. Yeah.

Thank God you're not 28. and a halfway house and you imagine that what? I got to tell you some. I had a good time at the halfway house. I learned a lot.

Both times I was there. I'm not going to tell you it was miserable and stuff. They beat me. It was an education. That system, that time in the system. Straight up. It was an education, guys.

It was an education. I had a lesson. I learned a lot. It just slowed me down a lot. I was going You know That was a lucky break That the gun didn't go on

That was a lucky break That fuck hold And shoot the line I had a thousand lucky breaks I got a good attorney We found a few loopholes There was the 1440 bill For the first time

You got arrested And if it's nonviolent You got your time Cut in half So I'd already done Two months in County Which is four months I gave some time served.

Yes, I gave me, when you gave me 18 fucking months, that means I'm really doing, I only really got fucking 14, which right of right, you were eligible for a halfway house. Damn. They still had to go, they still had to put me through the ELC, even though I was eligible for a halfway house, roamed me through the system,

throwing me through diagnostic, the whole fucking campaign. Fuck. I thought that was. just send me right through a halfway house and they said, man. Now why we're gonna do this? That's good.

Fuck, no. They took me into the murky waters of the underworld. Trying to drown you, doggy. Fuck that shit. I couldn't go to a halfway house. I don't know. I'm just a weirdo like that. When I was in prison, I like being by myself.

I don't know. Halfway house, imagine having like 20 roommates in a fucking living room? I don't know. I've always wanted to do this. Okay, let's say I have a roommate. I snore. What's going to happen, man?

Are they going to kill me? You're going to get punched until you stop snoring. I know. Nah, I mean, hey, man, you work it out. That's when you give them your orange. You know what, homie? I know I bug you at night. Here's an orange and an apple I get for lunch.

You got to pay it off. When I walked in, I shared a seven-man room. Oh, yeah. Two bedrooms, a couch. Two bedroom. two couches. It was two per bedroom. So it was two,

something weird. And one living room, there was a bed somewhere else. Oh, wow. It was crazy. And you have to move your way up. Okay. That's the first level.

There's those two apartments. George Perez, you move quick. At 75 hours a week, you got to pay them for groceries. Yeah, you got to pay to live in a halfway house. You got to pay them 150.

in those days per week to live in the halfway house. Did they supply you food or you had to get your own? 75 a week for food on top of the bill for it. And when you went in there on Monday, you picked up two grocery bags. It was a head of lettuce, processed American cheese, meat patties frozen,

one thin state that was browned on sale. Like if you don't buy it today, it's going to run away and shit. Yeah. A package of pork chops, corn in a can. George, it was the weirdest thing. Ice tea. That's fucking crazy.

And you picked her out and walked out there. You had to eat. Yeah, I couldn't do that shit. I don't know. It would just fuck me up. I don't know. I mean, of course I'd do it if I have to, but I would prefer it. I'd rather just be in prison.

I went into the seven-man room and within three days, George. You were the house mouse? I already had the Coke selling. Yeah. I already had to sell him coke. And one time I was waiting, and she walked in, but she thought it was the thing for the ceilings on the car. She's like, Jesus, the ceiling is terrible.

And I kept slinging coke in there, and finally put me into a three-man room. And I started off on the couch in there. But the dude I was with, he was in the room. He requested me. So he was going to hook you up for hooking him. But there was a dude there that was cool as fuck. But he was low on the Thai side.

He looked just like Ed Norton. We call him Norton. And he was getting pissed off. Norton, Norton. Yeah, man. When I was in prison, I was in a dorm once. It was a hundred-man dorm.

And that was some... You were walking on eggshells at night, my friend. A hundred beds in one room. It was a... It was a... it was like an old Navy barracks and they had 50 bucks

and 100 motherfuckers and it had like 12 showers 12 restroom heads because it was what the Navy used to use to train back then or something it was old Navy barracks and I hated that shit dude that was the worst shit ever because you could

hear snoring that night you can't do anything about a hundred person room no you can smell feet. Hell that shit. Oh, you can smell farts in the middle of the night. You're breathing when you're mouth open.

You've got a fart stuck to your tooth like the inside of your moan and you got to move your tongue like this in the middle of nightly. That's fucked up. Bro, the other day dude burped. I'm sitting there with my full trot at the airport in Detroit. And there's

fucking great places to eat. And we stop at this what the fuck that we time. I forget that doesn't matter. And we have 45 minutes to car. Come on, let's take a walk up.

There's going to be a long time. We see this fucking half a mug loiter. We watch. We do our own thing. I was going to say. I'm fucking stone. I'm high. This star is kicking in

now. That shit was kicking time. I see purple everywhere. I'd be you. I've been watching Perkins for weeks. This is like the purple. You're going to eat with that. Look it. There's purple right here.

You're going to eat with that. There's purple right there. All right. Whatever. Am I? Me too. Let's wrap this motherfucker up. And I'm hot as fuck.

The way I'm supposed to be. If you're going to be alive of you, I'm about to, I need coffee or something right now. I'm like to close my eyes and go napi noodle. You think I'm fucking with you. You think I'm fucking with you. You think I'm fucking. with you. That's how I am right now.

That chocolate had something in there. Well, yeah, because we had two of them. Who? Who? I ate a whole one, dog. Yeah. And I had the fucking tam out of the caramel out of the caramel in Toffee. Yeah. And I had about six or seven stuff. You didn't have six of them. I ate four of them right in front of you. I ate four of them right and funny. And I ate three right in front of you. Boom.

You know how I eat those gorillas? Who opened up the bag? Who ripped it open? Let me start as a jeep. I don't know. You just kept What's wrong in it, man? You made five stars? No, you made five stars. I had at least six. No, yeah.

I just had one. I can't even fuck like you guys. Yeah. I faint. And that's all you need. Yeah, you feel like faint. Yeah. I just felt like faint in two minutes ago.

I had to drink water of your shit and stretch a little bit. These things are good for you. Stars are good psychologically abuse. They fuck with you a little bit. If you get lost, you got to find your way around the fucking room. I'm happy you're doing well. George. Oh, thank you,

but I'm just trying, you know? I'm happy in the game. You're still putting it together and shit. Yeah, thank you, brother, for all the advice. I got no advice for you.

You know the fucking deal. Work hard, and you're ready to fucking rock. Yeah. And when they call, you're prepared, and nobody can fuck with you.

Nobody can take it away from you. Nobody could go, well, you really got a sad card because you're such and such a son. Oh, yeah. Fuck that. No, dog.

I started as an extra over here. Like, I got promoted to the fucking sergeant of the movie. And ever since then I got an agent, I sent headshots. I hand delivered them. I got robbed of my agent. He took my checks. Did I quit? No.

I fucking went back on another agent. He got me a rolling this, a rolling that, a rolling this. And this is who I am today. That's what it's all about when you get in here. It's still sticking around. Yeah. A lot of people fucking come here, get a little success. And bounce.

It don't work for them. and they fucking get the fuck out of it. Don't go their way. The developmental deal don't get picked up. That's when you get strength. Is when you stay after that shit happens. If you just came here for a developmental deal and left, what the fuck did you come here for?

Yeah. You got to sit here for six fucking years to get one of those things now, seven years. Speak of developmental deals. Lee, how many do you like CSO? CISO is great. It has a... I like...

Parks and Records Jokes. I love getting to watch SNL. I like watching the ones when my parents were watching them. That was cool.

I also like the original content and I like their specials. Beautiful. I'll tell you what, man. I'm very happy that they put my special on.

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Ice House 830 I'm just working out one hour we're trying new shit come on and it's the weekend let's start the weekend and off right stay black I love you motherfuckers that's fucking fun you could open that door

princess my love