The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #490 - Bill Herenda

Episode Date: June 15, 2017

Bill Herenda, an NBA and College Basketball analyst as well as the morning sports anchor for KFBK in Sacramento, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order. Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 06/14/2017.


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Your little midweek finger up to ass from Uncle Joey coming at you. Nothing like a finger up the ass midweek. To let you know you're slipping, cock suckers. Kick that mulee. Why am I fucking going deaf here? I just need a bag of mold. Oh shit. Kick that mulee.

Bust the speakers. I want to see smoke coming out of the speakers. Mr. Churchill, what's happened now. Coming at you. June 14th, you bad motherfuckers. Here you go. Little young angers for you. Here we go.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. There you go, cock suckers. It's a little soul stripper for you. Uncle Joey here. It's a beautiful Wednesday night. My main man, Billy Hernandez, is in the house tonight. And my main nephew, Mr. Lee Syatt, the ultimate gumba of debt.

How are you, my friend? I'm doing okay. I'm worried about that. That mold, you just hate, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? We eat molds every fucking day, you know what I'm saying? Are you worried? Is that the first time you've eaten a moldy edible?

I guarantee you I've eaten a lot of mold in my day. Do you ever eat bread, midway, through the sandwich? On white bread, you're like eating fucking mold on tuna, and you start getting worried and you're drinking milk. What you can do. You eat mold every day. I hope the T. I hope the T.

Bands the mold or something, the antibiotics in my stomach. If not, I'll drink some compocha juice. And I'll be right back. Billy Arendo, what's happening, my brother? Terrific to be here. I know. Absolutely. I'm happy that you here.

To see you and Lee and your countenances up front, this is tremendous. It's tremendous. Absolutely. I joined you guys a while ago on the phone, but to be here is extra special. Thanks for having me. Yeah. No, I always want to have you on. I know Billy's since 1978, which made him 11.

In 78, around there, yeah. If I was 14, I was headed to five-star basketball camp with his older brother. And his dad drove us and Billy sat there salivating from the fucking mouth. Because we're about to go to fucking five-star basketball camp. The premier basketball camp in the country. You had you be brown out there breaking it down? Rick Petino.

Who else was there that week? The guy from Army that's not friends with Sunsulo? No. Chichesky was there before Duke. Way before Duke. Who else? The guy that's friends with Sunsulo. who coaches Texas.

Who coaches Texas? Well, shock is smart now, but Rick Barnes? No. Curly head guy. Oh, Tom Penders. Tom Penders. There you go. Yeah, exactly.

Was somebody in Boston College or something like that back there. Yeah, yeah, that's right. He was at Fordham as well, I think. Yeah, Fordham. Our counselors were like. Roosevelt Bowie? Dominic. What's his name?

The guy from Atlanta was. Well, you know what it was? Dominic. I'll never forget this. When you guys got back, my brother, Greg, says to me, goes, hey, you know, there's this guy, remember this name. Dominique Wilkins He was on his team

Yeah he was a cat council He was our cat council Kenny DeNard from Duke Yeah Who else? Cheese Johnson Yeah In New Mexico State

Yeah Cheez Johnson You know what Cheese Johnson's claim to fame was The first time they showed Bird On national television You had to cover him Because Oh really?

Yeah because Bird was like Division 3 or something Well in the United States Whatever it was So in those days They only showed Division 1 games So here they're like 8 and 0, 9 and 0 How did that work?

The camp? Because didn't, I mean, did the NCAA change the rules? Because now athletes can't make any money. No, no, they didn't make any money then either. They were just doing it to be nice? What's that? The five-star basketball game. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You go up there as a counselor and you got exposure because that guy, Howie... Garficl. He passed away recently. He knew everybody. He could make a call and solve all your problems. Oh, that's amazing. He could make a call and solve all your problems.

So you had the best... college basketball players in the country for free. For free. Wow. No, no, maybe they just, yeah, they didn't get paid. Well, you were there, you know, as a high school kid, you were there for exposure for exposure for these college courses. Right.

So, yeah, I think your brother was a freshman. Yeah, maybe. That makes sense. Yeah, your brother was a freshman at St. Peter's Prep. Yeah. Yeah. I was in the eighth grade. I went to, that year, I went to five-star booze with Robert Cousson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in Vineland, New Jersey. Yeah. And I went to it. went to Superstar, but I went to superstar the year before. That was Hurley's Camp in Jersey City. Yeah, I went to superstar the year before with the kid that went to Boston College

from Hudson College. Oh. Rick Wynard. Yes. Rick Wynard went to... And the both... Corrin didn't show, but the other guys both showed. The Spenarchal. Yeah, yeah. Both showed. And it was just a different time.

Classic stuff. You know, the distinction that Billy and I have, that Lee talks about, And everybody who listens to a podcast has is that if you were a certain age, uh, we grew up in the same delicatessen. And that made us brothers. I mean, that made us because we were,

I'd see a man. Yeah, I mean, come on. Every goddamn day. This, and I'd speak about them all the time. It's called Hashways.

And Billy lived right around the corner from them. And there was a basketball court that belonged to the church right next to Hashways. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was Wizards. Pinball. The pinball place, we used to buy acid. Then it was like Hashways. Yeah.

Then it was the liquor store, which was always there. Charlie Chanberry. Frank Ashione, worked at the liquor store, right? Even before. So we grew up, you know, you went there at 3 o'clock and you stayed there until 7. And in the meantime, you drank six Cokes from Hashways. There was no bottled water in those days. There was no fucking bottled water.

It was the iced tea in the container. The ice tea in the container. Yeah. And you ate a hat. I was telling him my favorite Hashway sandwich was roast beef with Swiss on rye bread with mayonnaise, light salt and pepper, fucking a bag of wise potato chips and a fucking 16 ounce bottle of Coca-Cola. Or I would get the turkey Swiss. That was your backup? That was your backup.

Turkey Swiss on a fucking baguette with wise potato chips and the whole jar of peppercini's. or there was another one, ham and cheese. But then when I wanted the good shit, I went around the corner, the Fifth Avenue deli, and I get the wet muts with the ham, with the fucking roasted tomatoes. Are you for the roasted fucking peppers? Are you fucking, yeah, yeah.

So it wasn't like a deli rivalry. You could, like, cross enemy lines and goes... Yeah, yeah, I think he even went there. We had a friend that owned the funeral parlor, and they had sauce there. Oh, it was more like... That was before Hashways got into hot food. You go Fifth Avenue deli

And even roses Remember roses You'd buy a sandwichly right It would be I'll never forget this You would buy a roll And just the sauce Not even the meatballs It was like 50 cents without the meatballs

Probably like a buck 50 with the meatballs And the other thing This is the classic hashway story Everyone had a bill So you walk in and on the register There were all the receipts All the bills were still there right So one Saturday

And they were like these receipts Old School and they'd write your name down. So one day, hot August day, I go around the corner and I bump into Tommy Parker. And he goes, Bill,

Joe shut me off sky high. You won't serve me anymore. My bill's stupid. He goes, go in, get me a sandwich and bring it out and put it on your bill and I'll pay you back. I said, sure, no problem.

Joe goes, what do you want? I said, roast beef, mustard cheese, lettuce tomato. I remember that story. Yeah. He wouldn't give it to you. He says, get the hell out of you. That sandwich is for Parker.

I came out. I've never seen anyone more disappointed because Tommy was deflated that I couldn't get the sandwich from. Now, we had tons of food in this area, but Hashways was Hashways. And Hashways was hashways until about seven years. When we shot the documentary, we went to Hashways and there was no rose beef. And I said, fuck this motherfucker.

You ruined the whole trip for me. I think I'm kidding you. I was like, no rose beef at 1 o'clock. What the fuck is going on here? I've never seen you complain at like a restaurant before. He like, I think you didn't you say something to someone there or you least? Gary, I told you. I told me.

I told me. I told me. And now Gary died. So now I feel fucking terrible Because I made a big deal about the rose beef I just was on a plane for five hours Cocksucker One o'clock your mother would be on the third rose beef by now

And you don't have one out of the oven Yeah I did that once Remember Tedcos in West New York The restaurant? So my brother Tony loves Their muscles right He loved their muscles So I came out to visit him

He lived in L.A He lives out in the desert now right So he said okay don't forget the muscles So I stayed at my buddy Frank Ciotto's house in Jersey City the night before we left to come out to L.A., fly from Newark, and we're over Dayton, Ohio. And I said, oh, I forgot the muscles. My brother wanted to throw me out of the house.

He didn't want to let me in. Because he was all fired up and bringing the muscles. We don't fuck around. I don't give a fuck. You better get back on that fucking plane and go back and get the fucking muscles. When I first lived in Boulder, if anyone asked me, if anybody came to visit me, they had to bring something. Like, don't come out until you...

Like, George came out, I made him bring 10 Cuban sandwiches. So this day, he tells me, you don't know how embarrassing that was, walking on that plane with those 10 Cuban sandwiches stinking up the Cuban plate. I mean, it was terrible.

What do you miss... Because we talk a lot about food, obviously. We like Chinese food, we like all that stuff. What do you think you miss the most? Me? Yeah.

Hashways. Really? Even though it doesn't exist anymore? I still... It was more than the food. We grew. grew up with them. When you grow up with somebody and you have tabs and they know all your creepy shit, you know, because after we got all older, they were still there. We showed up as innocent

kids, you know. I mean, Billy was always a great kid. Billy got no trouble. But, you know, we showed up there as young kids that play basketball and we might have drank six beers and puked. And then, you know, when they, I remember Mr. Hashway out there saying, I don't know what happened. Because we robbed the beer trucks and they'd pull up to the, you know, to liquor the worst story ever was the morning I got up after disappearing for a week and these drug dealer was chasing me and I ran to Hashways and this right that's right and Mr. Hatchway went outside and told him to get the fuck out of here he took care of business I had Rome Thorne I had thorns all over me because I jumped into all lady of Fatima into the basement and all those roses were

there I got thorns everywhere and then instead of getting out of there I kept running in the fucking patch. And I had a thousand thorns on me. So I came out there and I dodged across the street and ran right to hashways. And all of a sudden I hear him knocking on the glass. Come out here, I'm going to fucking shoot right through the glass. Mr. Hashway took his apron off.

He ran out there. He was, listen, you motherfucker. I don't know who the fuck you are. Get the fuck out of here before I called. He came in. He went off on me. He went off. But see, that's the thing.

You hit the nail on the head. It's more than it was like a happening. It was a social hub. I mean, it was, you know, the personalities, the characters, and also the pace. You know, there was like a daily life. Like, you'd walk over there, you'd meet in the morning, and Parker would roll, and Dorito would walk in. And you had your crew that you walked to school with. I'll never forget, Tommy Parker.

He worked on that poem from Mrs. Nass in seventh grade. So you went to Horace Man. I went to Horace Man. Okay. Then you went to St. Peter's prep, like my brothers. My mom sent me down to prep down to downtown Jersey City. But walking with Parker, I'll ever forget. He takes his notebook out.

He says, oh, I wrote, I finished that poem for Mrs. Nass. I don't remember all the verses, but this verse I remember. Clumps of lead filled his head, and soon we all knew, honest Abe would be dead. It was like a president's day poem that Parker had a right. It's tremendous. So Parker lived across the street from you. Yeah. Over the trophy store.

Right, the drugstore, Joseph's. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then you would walk up that block, you would meet at hashways, and then walk the hardest man. And then walk to school, yeah. There was like that whole daily pace of life. And then we'd walk for lunch, either the hashways, then this is in grammar school now. Or I'll never forget, we would go to White Castle where his mom worked, but we could never get back for one o'clock. The walk was too long, you know what I mean?

So whenever we were feeling like really rebellious, we'd go to White Castle anywhere and roll in at like 12, 15, 12. 20 but a lot of times you go to the window you'd order a cheeseburger an orange soda and a shake and if the manager wasn't around you gave you bags so on the way back you would give food away even like you'd curry

favor with whatever teacher was checking you in if you got there a little late with the hash way fucking White Castle I can't believe they let you walk to White Castle they didn't let you well was it anything where you supposed to like walk home or something like that was yeah you were either going to go home for

lunch, you can eat lunch at the school and then play at the playground. At the high school, when I was a freshman, they let you out for lunch. Then they made a new rule, no more leaving the premises for lunch. So you had to leave out the side door and then come back through the side door. So we had doors that there wouldn't be monitors at. We knew where there wouldn't be monitors at. And I always went to lunch with brass, which meant that this was somebody's son, somebody who mattered.

If they got nailed, I got nailed. You ain't comfort. Yeah, yeah. So I would go out to lunch with Askalese. What's going to happen to me? Right. You know, I was telling these guys, you know, we come from a very unique place, you know, like it's, it's why we're still ticking. It's why we came out here, the whole thing.

And I still remember that my sophomore year, my sophomore year, Domassie Cadillac. Yeah. Was that who was in North Bergen? Yeah. I believe so, yeah. D-E-M-A-S-I, yes. Yeah, yeah. DeMassie Calatel.

donated to Cadillac somethings, two-door, like the car that Alonzo had in training day. Oh, okay, got you. That two car, the two-door, it was something like that. What they did was they put alternate pedals on the other side, and they gave it to North Bergen High School as a driver's-ed car. They have, like, a muscle?

Like, no, there wasn't a muscle car. It was a Cadillac. It was a Cadillac. before the rims and shit. They gave you two Cadillacs, and then you had to give it back at the end of the year, and then the next year they'd give you another call. That's not the point.

The point was that there was a teacher named Mr. McGrath. You know his son, Mark, right? He went to jail, correct? No, there was Sean McGrath, too, right? Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark is the same. Fucking pit bull on my back.

So. Should put the microphone next door when it pops. No, it's not going to pop. It's one of those underground ones. I hate those. Dr. Chinese can't pop. this one. What's that Chinese woman who pops pimples on fucking on? Pimple popper. Pimple popper. So, Mr. McGrath was the driver at it. And it started very innocently. It started

with three people who had to put their name on a list at 10 o'clock. Like if you had gym, instead of the gym, you would drive with Mr. McGrath once a week, and it would all count towards your license. So three of us were getting the car with McGrath, and it started with you going to White Castle and then turning the car around, and you would get in it. You'd rotate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the third driver would end at the Ridgefield Circle.

And then you turn around on Tunnelia Avenue and you drive back to the high school. That's how it started. That was the first month. Damn, we used to go, Miss McGrath, you're hungry. You know, I can't stop the car. What do you mean you can't stop the car?

You can do whatever you want. You got no cops behind you. So we started tormenting, and then we would make them take us. One day he passed the circle and he went into Chan's parking lot. So we're like, Mr. McGrath. Stop the car.

Why? Hold on. And somebody got out of the car. He's like, where's he going? Hold on, he's going to make a phone call. He came out with ribs and fucking steak on a stick. So after like 10 minutes. He comes out in a poo-bo-blatt.

Yeah, he comes out and yell him. Mr. Mughey's like, that's not allowed in the car. Finally, he ate one of the ribs. He's like, okay, well, my goodness. So now we had him. So now every day it was the same thing. McGrath, let's go up to the Chinese restaurant. Now, shifting gears just a little bit.

You know, you know, you, Coco is very modest with his game. Your game was very crafty. Oh, but... Your hoop game, basketball. You know, you and Parker had similar games, you know, kind of like that John Bagley, Kyrie Irving of this era.

You know, Ubi Brown said that Kyrie Irving is the best finisher in the game, best finisher at the rim. And you and Parker kind of shared that in common. I remember your game as being good ball handler, good feel for the game. You were disher. Swisher, Defender, you were hungry.

I just want to make sure we talked a little bit about your game back here. I don't want to get out of the parking lot, and we'll get to that story later. But this went on. So it started with, then there's a dairy queen. How old was Mr. McGrath, do you think? Mr. McGrath had to be 50 at the time, 48, 49, 45. A trio of 16-year-old. We'd talk them into going a chance, and then there's a dairy queen right there.

So we said, Mr. McGrath, what the fuck? We're already here. Joey, we can't, Coco, you got to stop. Come on, let's go to DQ. and we go to DQ and get a fucking Mr. Misty float. And then that went on for like three months. What, did like a 15 minute? Two minutes to run in, then we eat it, and then we pull all before the school,

dump all the evidence and go back to the school. Then that started, then it got to the point where we go, Miss McGrath. Forget chance, forget Derry Queen. Let's go get an eight pack. We get an apack of nips. Yeah, yeah, the small. And once four of us would drink two. Except Mr. McGrath.

So we would split the third one. I mean, that's this shit we grew up with. You know, you said something interesting to me, and it's funny last night, as I was getting dressed to go do comedy, I thought you would mention this about basketball, and I might as well tell you the stories since you mentioned it, you know?

I was all in, bro. I was all in. I got hooked on pussy in the seventh grade, and the girl was supposed to give me a piece of ass at the end of the seventh grade. She didn't give it to me, and I fell apart. I ended up going to summer school. I was in love with her.

She made me come over, dry humpa, I just couldn't focus. Finally we broke up and I got left back in the seventh grade and it was fucking heart-wrenching for me because I was always an intelligent guy. I'm no five beta-capa but I shouldn't have gotten left back.

I always got Bs and A's and shit like that and that was always the type of guy that just took notes and listened and so by the failure that I felt that left back that year for me to get everything back I just dedicated myself to basketball. were 0 and 7, my seventh grade year when I got left back.

I joined the team finally. Oh, and fucking 7, the North Bergen. Really? Me, Chuckie, David Ruiz. I mean, these are guys that can ball. You got talent, yeah. Who were you playing? Frankl.

Oh, frankly. You must have been on the road, Owen 7. We were frank. We only played two games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You played two teams. You played against three teams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You played the meets twice. You played them once at home and once at there. So you had Franklin, Lincoln School, which were all fucking, they went to the games chained up. You know, they were coming to the games of balls on their ankles and shit. And you had Kennedy School. And Kennedy School was where North Bergen Talent started. Rugo was down there.

The coach Pickenitch and Calendrillo down there. That's when they were teammates and they had somebody else down there. They had three people from the state team. Louis Cruz, maybe. Greco. Steve Greco. Yeah, yeah. So all those motherfuckingsings.

grew up together down there. Yeah. That's what nobody knew. Kennedy School, that Ruggard guy who tended out to be gay, you know. Really?

Yeah. They didn't know that. I didn't know that. Really? Is that right? That's what I heard. They run a boys club somewhere in the heart of the country.

What's a boys club? Like a boys club where people go and play basketball and you shoot arrows and you fucking, whatever. It's a boys club. And then, you know, Robert Fulton, too,

was another school in the league. But I know you're saying. Well, you had the downtown. You had the downtown. The Uptown was Fulton, Harvestman, A, and B. Right. You had the 17th team, and you had Annel Kline.

Oh, that's right. They were in it. So you had the two Horace Mann teams, Robert Fulton with Glenn Conti, Archie Manning, and then you had Anel Klein with Dolvallie and Chuck Toro. Yeah. You had a good little fucking. So my seventh grade year, I was 0 in 7. That made, not only did I get left back, but I'm on a team that sucks ass.

So dog, I didn't stop. You know, I know for a fact that if you get to something and you stick with it, something happens because I did it in the seventh grade. I went from being a fucking zero. I still remember going to Union City Washington School because in those days, you could use addresses. So let's say I was friends with Lee and Lee lived in West New York. Give me your address, bro. Why? Because I'm playing for the wreck.

That's what you did. You went to competition. You know, you went everywhere. So I joined Union City Basketball League. And I've never forget the first time I joined Union City's seventh grade basketball league was at Robert Waters. Yeah. Wow. Yes.

Yeah. And I kept getting called for three seconds. I didn't even know what three seconds. Three seconds. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? I left there and I go, what's a three second violation? They're like, you can't stand in the paint. Can't be a bit.

In offense. I did not know this. Like, that's why I learned all this shit. So you would just go to different cities. And then on Sundays you take your bicycle and go down to Gilmore School. And that's what Dracula played. There was a Cuban kid. His name was Dracula that was slam dunking and shit.

He was just too stupid. And Mahoney and all those guys were playing there on Sundays on Saturdays. And that's what you just got demolished. You got your basketball. You put it in your 10 speed in the middle. And you rode your bike on Kennedy Boulevard, 80 fucking miles on Saturdays, going from court to court. So I learned how to get good. my seventh grade yeah I was horrible by the time I made the eighth grade I was starting

I was also playing for St. Michael CYO I also played the 13 to 15 year old league at Horace Mann on Friday nights do you know what I'm in fact Lee I got to bring it for you before my mom died my godmother told me to put away a box with everything that was important to me and I put a trophy in there from the 13 to 50 year old stars yeah yeah yeah but I also put a that my name never came out in the paper. Never. And one Friday, in 78, it snowed all week in North Bergen.

The school system was completely closed. I remember this. It happened in Boston, too, yeah. So they opened up Friday night. The only thing that they kept alive was that basketball league, at Horace Mann on Friday night at 6 o'clock. Because by that time, you know, the snow was pretty much gone. And I never forget going up there.

There was nobody in the stands. Nobody dared to get in the bus. We'd have 20 people in the stands on Friday. There was two games. They started at three. The clock kept running. There was no timeouts, that type of machine. No, there were timeouts, but the clock ran.

Running clock. Running clock. And we would go there on Friday nights, and I'd never forget. One Friday night, I went bananas. And the next day I'm reading the paper, and I say, North Bergen, 13 year, 15-year-old, because everything else was shut down. There was no basketball game, nothing.

The only sports was the 13th. The 15-year-old league, and it was the night I had 33 points and it said in the article, Coco Diaz drills home, 33 points. Fucking 16. I did like a Moses Malone type night. And I cut that article out and lead, you know, I still haven't. I was going to say, I'm surprised it's not like your Facebook profile picture just like that. I do something like that.

What am I, that's my whole private? So I worked really hard. I worked really in my seventh grade year, the year Elvis died. I went to say, I went to while Elvis. The week Elvis died, I was in superstar basketball camp. Really? Yeah. I never forget, I fucking, my father, my stepfather came home.

It cost 60 bucks in those days. Wow. And my stepfather came home, and I used to rob them from time to time. In those days, he'd have a stack of hundreds in a rubber band, and I fucking timed them perfectly. And he was down and says, he goes, get my cigarettes or something. I ran up, and I took $300 bills. and then the next morning I woke up he didn't say none he even know he was missing

and I go fuck it and I took the number one bus to Journal Square I went to that sporting goods in Journal Square and I bought some badass limousines for the feet and I walked with those motherfuckers to stupistar basketball camp I walked in put my 60 on the table

and said sign me up and I won an outstanding rebound that's right I remember that because Richie Reinerd coached me he taught me how to box out Jackie Dalloon came by. Who else? I was thinking of him

when you were talking about all those different courts. Jackie Galum came by and he taught us and then that was it. You were hooked. I was hooked. You had the success.

I would play in the daytime. I would play at night. I read all the books. I wanted to move to French lick. I wanted to fucking you know in the mornings. In the mornings I get up and I'd take 300 jump shots.

That was the first thing I did. 300 jump shots. Any court. 8 in the morning, bam, 300 in the summer. After the 300, I went home, lifted weights, jumped rope, did wall squats. I used to write letters to all the major colleges to get their training programs.

Bill Forst, the set of years, the guy from Rutgers, James, what was the guy when we were kids, James, he used to jump. Bailey, James Bailey, yes. Six foot nine, I never forget. And then I played after Mr. Hurley saw me play basketball, at five star at Superstar

He put me and Wadi on his AAU team That's right Yeah And we sat the bench Behind Mandy Johnson And all these savages Yeah

And I'll never forget We went to play a game And they lost And he was so hot Mr. Hurley Was furious We're still in the eighth grade We're still in North Bergen

All right And Hurley Says He's yelling at his fucking team You guys fucking embarrass me Whatever I don't know

Bob Venable. Yeah, I remember that name. Bob Vettable, he was young at them. And all of a sudden he goes, I had two tickets for you guys to go see Michael Corrin in the garden tomorrow night against James Bailey and Rutgers.

He goes, I'm giving them to the two visits and he gave the two tickets for me and Whitey O'Donnell. And we went to the guard the next day and we saw Michael Corrin on the Jersey City number 31 dropping it on the lane with Phil Ford was one of the guards and shit. It was fucking mind-boggling.

Like all those days, You know, and I have to let people know this because this is how much I was into it. Like, I blacked out everything. I just went home to eat. My mom was mad at me. I wouldn't go to the bar no more and help her. My whole life was basketball. And then eighth grade year, we went four and three.

At least we were over 500. You only had seven games? That's all you played. It was seven games. And then I went to St. Michael's did good, but we kept losing the St. Augustine's. They were good. They were always good. Always.

You know, who were the coach? It was Morel was the coach, the father and the son. Steve Rubinaccio. That was the rest. Yeah, yes. He coached me at St. Michael's. Yeah. But we also were losing to Our Lady of Garages in Hoboken.

Our Lady of Grace in Hoboken. Oh, G, we were loose to them all the time. I don't know if they're still open. And I was just, it was everything I knew. It was all I knew. And see, that's the beauty of it. That's all you needed. It was a ball in you threw.

And we had basketball nets. Every park had competition. Every park had people there. I still remember going up there and that fucking Chuckie Thomas would school me. He was tough. Chuckie Thomas. And Hablachek, the little one. And you guys had some.

Chuckie Thomas was tough. So all those guys, I would battle it with them on those things. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then my, it was funny. I was thinking about what happened. So I went to Superstar. I also went to Willis Reed basketball camp.

Really? Willis Reed had a basketball camp in the Poconos. And I think my seventh grade year, I went up there. That was a very interesting camp. I also went to football camp with Chucky. I went to Joe Namis camp. He went to Joe Namis camp. Wow.

Just to learn how to run and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, sure. So I had done all this prep work. I mean, I told you, Calendrillo called the podcast once. And I even reminded them, I go, one of my memories that summer. That summer was dedicated just to making freshman basketball. My goal was to start freshman basketball. basketball.

And if you looked at all the particulars, I kept coming back to being the small forward. No matter how you looked at this team, Chuckie, Whitey, no matter how you looked at this team, I still was the small forward. If Chuckie taught, now, there was a good kid out of Anna L. Klein. Right. It was a couple good kids, but I was still an offensive machine. I could rebound. You were like Raymond Green.

Yeah. I was in there position. I was in there banging it. You know, I went to fucking five-star. I played every day. I went to all. Every county, I rode my bike. I ran with a weighted vest.

I mean, I did it all. At night, we'd run, me and Kathy Moran would go to McKinley, and they had that 100-yard fucking thing. And me and Kathy Moran would time ourselves doing the 40s and 30s and 20s, and then we would do back and forths in Cincinnati.

Right, yeah. I mean, it was just crazy. We'd do suicide drills. We'd do suicide drills. I mean, I worked fucking hard, man. I would go up to you. Remember the 39th Street? projects.

Yeah, yeah. They used to have a tremendous basketball court in there at night. It was hidden and it had lights. And I would go there and see Sergio Bidaji from Union City and the other white kid they had that was tough. Union City had a white kid in 82. Was it Bobby Gator? Remember Bobby Gator?

No, no. He was my year. Yeah, Bobby Gator was our age. This kid was about a year or two. You ever do the defensive drill against the wall? Yeah, yeah. Oh, by myself. Not here.

Not here? No, I'm too old. Who am I going to defend a 54? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is it. Go up there, it's like that. Yeah, no, no, no. You stay there until your legs shake? You take there to your shaking, Lee, Syed.

To you're shaking at night. That would be the end workout. That was it, yeah. When I got home at night after I took a shower and played, like I played ball at night. Yeah, we always played it. Paul Keltoes would put speakers in his window. Yeah.

We would play 38th Street Park, though Mrs. Cardnellie would throw us out. Yeah. And then I go home, take a shower, go to the garage, take the weights out. And at the end of the day, I lifted, did all those biometric. Yeah, yeah. I jumped rope in the backyard. I did all that shit.

I get the freshman year, everybody's telling me, now you got to play freshman football. You got to play freshman football because Reardon were only looking. Danny Reed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went one day. I'm like, why would I want to play freshman football? Why would I want to do something like this? I played fucking hoops for a year.

I've been dreaming about freshman basketball. Now you're telling me I got to play freshman for fucking football. It's different seasons, though. Yeah, no, no, no. It's still, you go right from football to basketball. Because football's got to be over by November 8th or something. And basketball is November 15th. You don't touch the, you can't have a coach in the room to the first.

Yeah, they still do. November 1st is basketball, but you can't have a coach in the room to November 15th. That's when the legit tryouts are and shit like that. So really, on the first, you start going there at 3.30. and running and playing five on five. Just by yourself as kids?

Yeah, as kids, but then on the 15th the coach comes in. And on the 15th, I tried out. Everything was fine. We scrimmage, and the first scrimmage dog, I didn't start. It wasn't even that I didn't start. I wasn't even playing. I mean, never mind.

Okay, so I'm not starting. I'll be a great six man. I learned to live with it. Some of you'll break their fucking head, and I'll start. No, no. I would go to get. games and not even play.

I mean, it was like fucking what the fuck happened. And in practice, they couldn't stop me. Really? Oh, yeah. The first team in practice that whole, no. No. They couldn't stop me. It was like, I don't understand this.

I don't understand. Did the coach just not like you or something? Just did not. It just did not. So that was Danny Reardon you were playing for, right? He was the freshman coach there. Yeah, forever. And it's weird. I wrote a blogger this years ago. Like that took the wind on the mistake. Those things stay with you.

Yeah, for sure. For sure. That freshman year, that was my big, big, big disappointment. Like sitting there and watching these cheerleers and my friends are coming to the fucking games going. And I'm like, I don't know. And I mean, we'd be up by 50 and half the bench would be in. And I'd still be sitting on the bench like the 12th man.

It was an experience. I wasn't used to coach hurley called. He's like, I hear you're not starting. No, bro. it was horrible it was painful it was just and I would go to practice and fucked him up

fucked them up I mean fucked them up rebound over him and fucking you know and it just killed me it just killed me like I walked off that

that court in February and I was like I don't know about next year this I don't know you know people are pulling up asking me what's going on I had people ask for

and it just, I quit. That was it. That cut right through me. That was the, that was strike number one. Then my mom died maybe six months after that. There was no coming back. And I continued to play. I'd play in Ashways and stuff like that, but just not, just lost it.

I just lost it. And then about 1998, I was getting high with some people, North Bergen, doing shit I shouldn't be doing. And at five in the morning, somebody, I started playing. No, at 5 in the morning, somebody that was there said, hey, man, you know, we bumped into the party about a year ago. We were talking about it, Danny Reed. Do you remember him? Like, oh, yeah, he goes, he was talking about how much he fucking hated you as a kid. Wow.

You know, he was kind of racist. There was a part of him that some Spanish people he liked, some he didn't. He just did not like me. He doesn't, until today. And when this kid told me, these people were telling me the story at the barbecue. He was saying, I can't believe he ever did something with his life. I didn't see him doing anything. You know, everybody was bothering me for years.

He was saying people bothered me that we lost that season because I didn't start you. He goes, there was no way that kid was ever going to start on one of my teams. There was no fucking way. He just always didn't like me. And it's funny because when he told me that for about two years, I was like, you know what? I'm going to go back to North Berger and light this motherfucker up one night, find out. Because he was still doing shit at that time. He was still doing, he was involved.

somewhere now he's done he's retired what would I do kick him in the cane and then they fucking knock his cane down so that it just uh it destroyed me I didn't even know how to handle at that age like I really did not know I didn't cry and nothing I was just in shock it was like a like even the older players were coming to me going what the people on varsity the people the people who were playing JV like what the fuck then the next year there was no sophomore team and I had lost my confidence. I'm not going to make JV.

If I go to JV, that means I got to play against Chuckie Thomas. I'm not going to play against Chuckie Thomas. I had a hard time. Forget it. You know what's interesting too is that that's the Phil Jackson line. There's so many quotes out there,

but he says, you know, there's more to life than basketball, but there's more to basketball than basketball. So in other words, you know, there are a lot of life lessons that you learn from the game, Both good, bad, you know what I mean, ups, downs, like Lou Rawls, crazy turnarounds, lady love. Yeah. But you know what I mean?

Like there's so much that it kind of teaches you and you learn through these rough experiences. I think that's one of the things about the game that's great, but also it can, you know, it can break your heart too at the same time. You know what I mean? It broke me. Yeah. Yeah. That, that, when I played CYO ball, When I played in the eighth grade, I played with Frankie Winters.

Wow. Frankie Winters, Mike Hennessy. Chucky was an O'LF guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. But Whitey was with us, and some Mahoney played for whatever. And it was funny because I started in the beginning of the season, and then towards the middle, he didn't like me. Like, nothing he didn't like me.

We were playing teams, and he was like, I'd rather have you come off the bets. That was hard to digest. Yeah. But after a couple games, I accepted the six-man role. I was like, this is great. But then it was right around the holidays, my eighth grade year. It was like the week after Christmas, we played the CYO Christmas tournament. And we played the O.G.

Right. And I didn't play the okay. He played the five guys in the center. And I still never forget, Rubenacho, give me a ride home. And there was snow out, and we're in the bottom of my hill, because you couldn't go up to the Burgeon Hills in those days. because of all the snow. And I remember on the wall on that corner, I had written my name on the wall,

Cocoa 76, in 1976. And we pulled up, and I'll never forget Rubinaccio saying to me, listen, man, tonight was not personal. Right, right, yeah. He was just about the game. And he was telling me, you know, Hennessy's confidence was up,

but this guys was down. I wanted to switch it around. There was nothing. In the last four games, I started. Yeah, yeah. So it was like a, a player thing. Right.

Yeah. Well, you know, that's going to happen, right? They're going to be match trucks. There's going to be scenarios. Somebody's got the hot hand. But a lot of times, if you have at least that open, honest communication, you got to live with it. You got to deal with it.

I dealt with it. I'll never forget that night. Listen, that song was on the radio. It was the hot song. Don't go trying. Oh, Billy Joel. Billy Joel. That was the hot song then.

And I was in the car with him and he looked at me as he dropped me up. He was going to walk up to hell. I go, yeah, yeah, you're going to get stuck. And Steve said, listen, about the night, I know you must be hurt. And I go, I just didn't know what I did. He goes, you didn't do anything. Right. He goes, I had a matchup.

The center, I forget who the center on that team was against that forward because he had heels. He could really jump. And he goes, by the time I thought of you, man, we were going to lose, so I didn't want to insult you. But that was the only time in all those years, I had had a problem. Like, I digested it. I'm like, okay, doesn't really matter because I'm starting freshman year. Right. I mean, it was no matter how you looked at it, I was the small foe.

Yeah. I wasn't even close to that. I was like the third fucking forward on the team. He even played Archie Manning more than me, a skinny Filipino kid from Robert Fulton that was uncoordinated as fuck. This is a Filipino guy named Archie Manning out there? Archie Manning, okay. And we had a kid named Juan Rodriguez at North Bernd. Yeah, I remember Juan? Wow, it was good.

Yeah. God, yeah. Before the kid from Philadelphia. What's the kid, the small guy from Philadelphia a couple years ago that had the crossover? Iverson? Before Iverson, I got to tell you something. I'm telling you this from 40 years of watching basketball. I have seen some shakes in my life.

Yeah. But one of the best shakes I ever saw in my life was Juan Rodriguez. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Juan Rodriguez had a shake move that you could have your hand on his waist. And the next thing you know, you were six feet away from him. And more shakes than carve out. Yeah, Sergio Badaji had one that he would come with the ball and pick up his legs high,

like machine gun on his legs. So on the defense, you didn't really know what you were doing, and he would shake you. One shake was a crossover that he would come down dribbling, and then you would D-Up on him, and he'd wait for you to put your hands down, and he'd cross over on you real quick, but he'd do this, he'd do like a rattle. like you're like Lee it was hysterical to watch

like if you were waiting to play the next game and there was a fast break you'd go watch Juan on this move and Juan would just come down and Austin the guy would D up and next you know he was eight feet away

and he was on the floor slipping carrying his shoes he was breaking ankles oh he would go like this and then go like shake like a dancer and you would just fucking fall apart God rest of his soul

he's dead now But we used to play in Lefty Cortina's backyard by Robert Ford, Brian Smyth. We used to go to Hoboken in those days and pick up Bob Dubois. Yeah, yeah. You know what I was thinking about those. When you mentioned OLG, I was thinking about those guys. Miller and Dubbo. They both played at B.C., Boston College.

We would pick them up in Hoboken and bring them to North Bergen to Lefty Cortina's backyard. And we played a whole afternoon and they'd be slam dunking. I remember, like that's what's unbelievable too, is that. Just that feeling of, like, we got to win or we're going to be done for the day. Yeah. We're not going to be able to play because there's so many guys waiting. Yeah. Yeah.

Eight teams. I mean, just that intensity was like an unbelievable feeling. You know what I mean? Like those are things that definitely, I hadn't thought about that in a while, but just that mentality of like, all right, well, we got to bring it here. We're going to be toast. And then people trade for you and shit. Yeah.

Dog, fuck you, dog. You don't want to play D. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck that. Fuck that. I already played three games at you.

Fuck that. And you get done. Argument and shit like that. You're right. You're right. The basketball thing that teaches a lot of crazy lessons. I remember one time on the bus,

I farted. I hadn't gone to the bathroom in like six days. I had like a clog in my asshole. And we played against East Orange Ghosts. The Ghosts. Was that an AAU team or? No, no.

East Orange High School? This is High School. Yeah, okay. It's the East Orange Ghosts or the Ghosts. The ghost of trying to think of what the nickname was.

Not, not, it was a black school. And they were called the ghosts. That's all I fucking know.

And I was scared. That's all I know. You know what I'm saying? And we lost to them. And we went in the bus and people were scared and I hadn't gone to the bathroom for like

three or four days. And I remember farting and cheer leaders were crying. Like they were crying because they couldn't open the windows and shit. And then I would switch him up and Mr. Barone

said, oh, he's switching flavors. the girls are holding on to their nose. Oh, my God. No, that was you're right. And that was like your Coco, too. Like playing at Prep in Jersey City, that whole league was an all Jersey City league at that time.

So you'd play St. Anthony's. It would be David Rivers and Kenny Wilson. And they went to Notre Dame and Villanova. And then you'd play Ferris and Darrell Wilson went to Florida State. And then you play St. Mary's. It'd be Kenny Coleman. He played at New Haven. So every game was like,

It was like a war, you know what I mean, of guys that were really talented. And I'll never forget, the guy that I had the toughest time guarding was a guy by the name of Tracy Mitchell who played at TCU. And we were working out up at UMass Lowell during the off season. So we come into an open gym and this guy's out there playing and I'm playing against this guy. And I'm literally like, I got to guess which way he's going because he's using me. I just could not stay with him. And he ended up being right on the fringe of, in today's world, he would be like, if he wasn't with the Celtics, he'd be with the main Red Clause. He'd be in the D-League.

You know what I mean? He's like on the fringe and was one of the last cuts like three or four consecutive years. And it's like, you know, you get to those moments like, and it's like seeking out the best talent because you want to get better. You want to raise your game. You want to test yourself and see where you're at. And then you get to a point where it's like, wow, this is definitely a different, this is a different level. And Tracy was one of the, I'm friends with them on Facebook. You can find them there.

And he's one of these guys that it would be great because I was big into like the gear, like the T-shirts and I'd have shirts. And so he would like give me like TCU gear. And I'd give him like, you know, I probably had a stash of Northburg and stuff in my like a reversible. We trade all these jerseys and stuff. But that was the beauty of the game. the personalities, testing yourself, all the traveling, bouncing around. Were you happy that you went to St. Peter's Prep, or did you wish you could have gone to North Bergen? You know, I had a great time there.

And you went to school with the Drafios. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You graduated with Mark? No, no, so with Frank, so Frank was a year older than I was. Frank went to prep, but Mark played at North Bergen, then Penn State, then the Packers. So Mark went to North Bergen High School. Frank went to prep. And so I had mixed emotions about it

because I had a great time at prep we had You know like a lot There were a lot of Things that like I probably may not have been exposed to if I had not gone there You know maybe I wouldn't have found you know What probably would have played at Persian field or Ocean Avenue or you know Those types of leagues and stuff But I think at the time it was probably the you know the good fit

I played for Jerry Howling and who was I mean look at these choices So it was either playing for Maddie Sobello at North Bergen, who was an absolute legend, or Jerry Halligan, who was another legend. So you really couldn't go wrong there. I wasn't a fan of Sabella. What's that? I wasn't a big fan of that.

Yeah, I really didn't know Coach Sabella that well because I didn't play for him. But Jerry Halligan was like off the charts. I still remember his face. I still remember his little bald-headed. He was like a science teacher or math teacher. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I used to see him in there. I was never big Sabello guy.

I was like, I was a big Barone guy. Right, sure, yeah. He showed me how to shoot. You know, I lucked out because he was my seventh grade teacher. Right. And we were tight. When I got left back, I went to his class. And he fucking hated me.

Really? And he's like, how's it feel? How are you going to feel? And sitting in that class? He was torturing me. So I stole his keys after school. And I threw him in the dumpster and behind the kinling. And about four hours later, he shows him up in my house.

Where's my fucking keys? I can't even get in my car. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. See you in September, bitch. And I thought I was going to go to the eighth grade. No, I got left back and ended up in his class. Wow. So when I walked in the first day of school, I thought I was dead.

Yeah. Never mentioned it again. And once I found out, he was in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah. He had done all that basketball store. The free throws in a row, it was 73 or something. I went in the yellow pages, and I would call him up. at night and ask him for tips and he would say how do you get my number and i'd call him up until

one day he said come to my house friday at two i took a bus up to ninety second street and we went to his house and he showed me how to shoot and we became i took him to the premier grudge match right right right right yeah that's how tired i am of barone yeah so we interviewed him for the yeah i was the same house documentary he went to the house was it was that house no he looked that was his that was his house. We went to his mother's house. That was my real basketball was Barrow. And then even if he took over,

I knew, I just did. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's funny that you talk about all this stuff being positive. You talk about being negative. Since I was a kid, I've always been very honest, and I was always very honest of myself. You know, freshman year, I think, going into

sophomore year, I said, okay, my father was 6'4, my mother's 5'2. You know, how tall am I really going to be? Will I be six feet tops? Let's pretend I get to be six feet. That means I've got to be one of the quickest fucking guards in the NBA. Now, I was always quick, but not fast.

There's a big fucking difference. There's a big difference between having quickness to cover somebody in the paint or there than me having to catch up to you once you shake. It's 50 feet wide, 94 feet long. Number two, I'm white. Number three, I'm white. You know, I had kicks. I did have kicks because I worked at it.

Right, right. There was a point where I had like a 40-inch vertical jump. Like, when I was in the eighth grade, I was already grabbing the rim at 38th Street field. Like, people were going crazy. I was missing the dunk by a fucking pussy here because it was 9 foot 10, the rim. But I couldn't, you know,

but at least I could grab the rim at the high school. I was windexing and shit my freshman school. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good. That was good. Yeah, because I fucking worked on my legs. You know, I did the weights. Bill Foster told me, I did the sprits. Whatever they told me to do, I did to the fucking tee.

So it was just really weird that I just said to myself, all I wanted out of basketball was to play in the national championship game. That's all I ever wanted. My dream was to start. It's a big old. You didn't I want to go to the NBA. I didn't want to do nothing.

I want to be like Gregory Kelcer. Right. Right. Who's a great guy, by the United States? the way. That's what I heard of you. He's a great guy. He's still part of the Pistons broadcast team.

Great guy. Because, yeah, he played like four games and that was that. Like he just, in the college, he was great. But the NBA, he just fell apart. You know, and that happened sometime. But that's all I wanted. From the time I saw them announce Michael Corny's freshman year from Jersey City, New Jersey. My head almost exploded.

And you know who else was in that game? And our buddy Jim Hager reminded me of this. One of the last conversations we had, I forgot to mention this guy, Marquette at Jimmy Boylein. Jimmy Boylan, who now is an assistant with the Cavs. So he's been with the Cavaliers for... Who is Jimmy Boylan from? Jersey City. He was another Jersey City guy, yeah.

Older than everybody. And who do you play for? He played... So I think he went to assumption before Marquette, Division II School in New England, believe it or not. But I want to say that he played for Rocky Pope at Hudson like Spanarkle did. I'm almost positive that Boylan went to Hudson. as well. I could be wrong. I think Jimmy Boylan did go out. But you know what, Coak, and I don't want to dodge the Northberg in the Prep high school

question, because I really... No, no, no. Just to complete the thought, like, sometimes it does think of me like what I think about is it would have been nice to have continued the journey in high school with my grammar school classmates, because they were

great kids. We had a great cohesive class. But, you know, my brothers had gone to prep. It was great tradition there. It worked out great for me playing Gavin Cummings, who I mentioned before, who had come over from Guyana. We played together

eight years total, including the four at UMass Lowell, three on varsity at Prep. We played freshman ball together there, and we had three years on varsity at Prep for Jerry Halligan. So I really wouldn't change your thing, but I do think about you know, because I made

great friends at Prep, you know, in the classroom and then in Jersey City and, you know, around town as you evolved as a young kid in high school but i do think about and and you know remiss slightly about not slightly but miss just the kids i was tight with because we probably would have been even tighter but uh but you know it goes you can't change it it is what it is what it is and you kind of follow your you know your destiny you do what you think is best at uh at the time so it's just crazy because you guys all grew up together like i lived in new york till 19

73 and then I moved to North Bergen in 73 but I was still going to Catholic school in car right right yeah so my only connection to North Bergen was the weekends and the summers I would disappear right I walked around that Maybud when I first moved it I'm like this ain't for me these fucking dirty kids no no no no no no I'm not doing out hang on the city right I was still a city rat and I was and I since my mom had the bar in Union City I was right right yeah I was I was a Union City kid. Living in my 29th Street and the whole thing. Right.

But at the time I went to McKinley, I didn't. I missed what all you guys did. Like, when did you move to North Bergen? Oh, I was born there. Okay, so. I was born in Jersey City. Did you play pee basketball? Yeah, everything.

You know, those coaches, Mr. Benna, Mr. Ferreau, Mike Fisher. All those guys. Unbelievable. They still, if you go on Facebook, it's really weird. Like the other day, Evan Valentine Yeah

posted a picture of the football team when he was like eight Yeah And like Those kids played all through They won a state championship together Because they've been playing

Since they were eight Like these guys fucking knew each other I didn't know that Yeah I didn't You know when I first went to McKinley It was sixth grade I didn't even start

Really hanging out In Northburg until the seventh grade The first time First time The seventh grade I didn't really hang out North Bergen and that's and by that time I was into basketball yeah so I didn't really play the football thing I didn't play PV football I played the set they called it

semi pro for Union City it was a 12 to 14 year old league and I didn't like it it just wasn't for me I wanted to play basketball right I was going to karate and shit so I would go to those courts and that's when I started becoming friends with them but my point is like you're one of those guys that was there the whole thing and then just high school went somewhere else it just wasn't you like like you said even franken afield yeah yeah who's tied with my with mercy's godfather james you know like he just went to prep one day yeah but their prep didn't have a football team well no they did actually they did yeah yeah i don't know i don't know well you know like football i think

was different because like north berger was perennially good and then prep was down in football they just weren't very good in the 80s and then rich hanson came in right around the time I was leaving and then built that football program up but they were very weak. That's why I didn't know that. And then it was weird because I was fortunate because basketball was good then,

had not been good in the 70s at prep, was good in the 80s. And like you said, so after eight years with Gavin Cummings, by the time, you know, you play that long together. I mean, you just have that sixth sense of where someone is. Not even, you know, offensively but defensively and all that type of cohesion and what have you.

It's, you know, it's tremendous because it's really a, it takes on a culture, a feel, vibe. I mean, look at, you know, obviously the Warriors, right, a rarefied air and how special they are and watching them play. And like a lot, I think a lot of our people are, if you remember, and I was young at the time, but reminiscent of the Knicks back in the 70s with Willis and. Clyde and Bradley and the Busher and, you know, all those, Earl of Pearl and all those guys, you know, they're ball movement. I don't want to go to

two X's and OCEA, too much in the Weasley, but you know what I mean? Just that whole cohes. And the defense that those guys play and that tenacity. You know, everyone talks about the Warriors and their offense, but that's really, to me, their sizzle is the offense, but their defense is

second in defensive rating in the league, and they leave the league field goal percentage against, three-point field goal percentage against, the reflections, blocks, steals. I mean, they're just relentless. But anyway, but those things take on, you know, there's more to it than just the game plan, the execution. Okay, this is what would. But anybody really think about like not only they know what they want to do, but then they inculcate it into those players,

current, staff, joy, mindfulness, compassion, competition. And they actually do it. It's phenomenal, I think. Just the way they have the ability to focus, execute, get it done. But those are the things I think that are kind of magical about the game. You know what I mean? It takes on kind of a life on its own. I think that's why we all fall in love with it, you know?

And you talk about those kids playing together in North Bergen from 8 on and winning eventually a state championship. I mean, there's something really... No, that's what it was. A few things in life that give you that. You know what I mean? And then again, they did it with basketball. Right.

That core team played at Kennedy School. So I was always wondering, like, for me, I wasn't part of anything. I was part of McKinley, and they didn't have a fucking legacy. They don't even talk about basketball there. They didn't even have a gym. I thought I was in the eighth grade. Is that right? They didn't have a gym.

You had a shovel snow. Did you ever play at White Eagle Hall? I talk about not having a gym. St. Anthony's did not have a gym. Yes. Yes, freshman year. That's right. We played them freshman year at home.

Yeah, and the one basket was nine feet. And the other one was a big basketball. It was unbelievable. And those battles were like, those were, also, we talked about this, you'd go in there and play. At that time for us, it was, you know, David Rivers and Kenny Wilson, those guys. So you'd walk in to be Massimino and Villanova, Digger Phelps at Notre Dame. Was it Ray Al McGuire retired? No, I'm thinking Meyer at DePaul.

But all these coaches would be, these legendary coaches. would be in Jersey City and White Eagle Hall. You couldn't even shoot from the corner because it was the balcony from the bingo hall that you couldn't shoot. You know, you had to drive to the basket. But anyway, but evidently they just, the school's closing at St. Anthony's, and then they actually redid White Eagle Hall. It's gorgeous now.

It's like a real... Now they're going to fucking close it. So now they fucking redo it. Let me give some shout-outs. Eric Walker, my main man. You got it, cuckeducker. Jay Blank City. Dominic Giannino.

The Australian Warrior, Bunny Couch, Functioning Savage, my man Ray Taylor, Slim Chabby, Tony Mendoza, and Ty Moore. I got to ask you some other questions.

Yeah. I got to ask you some questions about the characters that hang out about a hash race to see if you remember. Yeah. I always tell Lee, whenever we're talking in conversation,

and he says something to me, I'll go, Lee. That thing is clean, Bobby. And there were these two idiots that used to hang out the hashway at night. One was Cheechabastich. He was a Shrutt guy that fixed cars.

And the other guy was Bobby Pierce. He had glasses. He used to have like a, what do you call that one? When you have a cleft lip? A cleft lip. Really? Yeah, he used to. So they were into cars.

And he used to go, that thing clean, Bobby. They would just sit there. That thing clean. That thing clean, Bobby. That thing clean. You know, I think about the characters where we grew up before the show started we were talking about just that

area, okay, just that it was hashways that ran and it was a block away from North Bergen High School and on that block when I first got there there was a grocery, not a grocery store, like a food store around the corner, like where you went

for milkshakes and shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah. The brewing bowl or something. Yeah, that's right, and then you had Nick's Pizza and then you had Korky's seven-day week. It was called Tom and Korky's. Then you had a bank that was the size of a hut that was robbed once by a guy in a bicycle and he got away with it. They weren't even prepared for him to rob the fucking bicycle.

Then you crossed the street and there was a dry cleaner. And then you walked a little bit and there was a bar that had been everything. Lee, they tried to do everything in this bar. Then next to the bar was a trophy sneaker place. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know who it was Brower, Dennis Brower had that. It was never open. It was like a sporting goods for a watch.

Yeah, that was never open. Yeah, yeah. It was never open. It was only open like one hour a day and he sold sneakers. Right. So you got a good deal on sneakers from time and time. And then next day there was a pharmacy. And then there was Larry, L.D.

There was a hair cutting place. They're a barbershop. That's a barbershop. Larry. Yeah. And that was all there. That was it. That was your fucking world.

If you live up there, that was it. He went from the bank. But we grew up at this pizza place that the guy was fucking, like the guy in today's society with kids, he would have definitely been shut down. He would have definitely been shut down because it wasn't about even like that he cursed. No, no, it wasn't that the pizza was bad. The pizza was delicious. And the sandwiches, oh my God.

Tremendous, yeah, they were great. Tremendous hot. See, Hashways had cold sandwiches. They had hot sandwiches. At night. Like a chicken cutlet? Oh, he had a, he had like a, he had something in there, a Knicks meatball palm or something. You get two slices and a Knicks meatball palm.

Oh, my God. And you can put it on the tab. Everybody had a tab those days, Lee. He'd call you, he'd call you, like, racist names, but then he'd give you a tab. He'd give you a tab. He'd extend credit. Fucking speak. I'm watching you.

He called me the Spick, a villa Ayatollah Kamani. Ayatollah? Because he had the beard, so he would make, you make me netheras. You walk around Aliatola, homani. He would call him homani. He would call me the Spick, Vineri the Jew, because he would get the iced tea across the street. I mean, it was fucking constant. the nicknames he had for people.

Sexy thing, beautiful thing. For women. Oh, I love you. But he never was a pervert or nothing like that. What he was, was a degenerate horse track guy. Yeah, yeah, you love the ponies. And you'd be hungry some afternoons, and you'd go there, and it'd be gone closed for one hour. He would just shoot to the track.

Yeah, oh, yeah, exactly. And bet all his horses is at four. You'd be fucking starving after school. You're like, God damn it, I got to go to hashways again and shit. And it's like, I told you, John Bott. We've got to give John Bought a shout out. Pacing Donut. He said Tommy Parker wrote two words in my high school yearbook, Pacing Donut. It was a horse that he gave. Did you ever gamble?

Me? No. No, you did nothing, nothing. I was going to ask, what was it like, because we've heard all the stories from Joey about what North, like, North Bergen sounds like almost like it's not even real. Like, it's like an acidity of outlaws. What was it like growing up as a kid who, like, I wasn't an athlete, but seems like me, like a little bit of the straight edge and sort of not as crazy as them. Like, what was it like, was everyone like that? Or was there people there who? No, I was, I mean, I think it was a very, like, eclectic group of people. You know what I mean? That, you know, not, I don't think everybody was like that. You know what I mean? Like, it was just,

you know, like, basketball, I think sports in a way was kind of an escape. It, you know, was, it was your identity probably to an extreme. Because you were only as good as your last game. It is tough if you weren't playing or, you know, we talked about that early. If you didn't play well, it was hard. That was your identity.

But there were just the cast of characters there. But I do think, though, that you thought every place else was like that. So you'd go to Jersey City and different neighbors. Yeah, it was like that. Yes. But then when you leave and you get out of there, you're like,

holy shit. Oh, my God. Not every place is like this. You go up into New England. Right, exactly. Yeah. But no, growing up, you were in there, and it was, you're right, you had a couple of bucks. It was a quarter for an RC, probably 35 for an estate, 45 cents for a slice.

You had the fucking company on Tonley Avenue. So if you went down there and knocked on the door, they give you three sodas for a quarter. RC, they made them run until they abyss. RC. Cola? Yeah, they bottled them right there on the corner there. So when we were kids, they were that. By my house, we had the. Dan and milk.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they had the tea company, so. Well, how about Hoboken with it with Maxwell House? Yeah. You could end up to be brewing coffee. The whole city would smell like coffee.

Yeah. But that was like all you needed was a ball, like a buck, because you get a slice of pizza and Nix for 45 cents. And that's all that was your life. That's all you needed. You walk around the corner,

you're at the courts, everybody's there hanging out. So it was an unbelievable place to grow up. It was tremendous. It was great. I, but I think that, you know, if you looked at it, you probably had, you know, guys that were into sports, guys that there were into music, guys that went to girls, guys that weren't. Now, where were you in Hatchways, burnt down? Were you on Kelly Boulevard?

Were you around the corner? I don't think I was living there at the time. Where were you? I was in school. I think it was... 1984. Yeah, I was at, you know what? I was at UMass Lowell.

It was my freshman year. So I was not in North Bergen. We went to, you know, the town that I left. I left in August 25th of 83. I left. And I went to Colorado and I came back like February of 84. And the town was completely different. It was just a drug death.

That's it. The cocaine from West New York, Union City. It had just taken over. I mean, there was arrest on 80th Street by Lubez's house by Johnny. What was those two Spent Lopez brothers? Yeah. They were fucking out of their mind, those two blackheads. They used to sell their mother's cancer medication.

They used to drive around shooting cats and dogs. It was fucking crazy down on that side. But all those houses were getting, it was just a different city, you know? And everybody was fucking doing drugs. Like, you just, you know, you walked into the hashways. next thing you know you're in the freezer doing coke you know you're like what the fuck I used to come here to eat I don't even eat you no more

coming in to do coke and drink champagne and and uh why did they have champagne in a deli because at that time they had a liquor store right right they moved over see they had a sandwich

place I was telling I was telling Billy that I could you know how FX does American crime stories or American stories. Right, yeah. I could do a whole story about life about the Hashways because they had a deli and the deli was doing just fine. Turkey sandwiches, roast beef, fresh roast beef, fresh turkey,

U-hoo's, you know, buttered roll, which was delicious. The jelly and cream cheese on the poppy seed roll was delicious with a U-hoo in the morning and they got greedy. There was a liquor store on the corner. and they bought into that liquor store. You learn from watching in your life. I learned a big lesson from that. Be happy with what God gave you. You had a beautiful deli.

I was telling Billy that at 3 o'clock, the father would run the lunchtime deposit at 1 o'clock, right across the street to the bank. But at about 4, 4.30, he would walk home with a brown sack filled to the gills. filled to the gills. They were making money there, guys. I mean, when you went in there at lunchtime and all the U-Hus were gone

and Mrs. Ashwood, give me a case and go, restock it for me. That's a case of fucking U-Hus they sold already during lunch. They would sell sandwiches. I mean, you'd go in there to shredded lettuce. If you think of anything that stood out,

it was that shredded lettuce would stick out of the sandwich. And you people think we're crazy here. You know, Lee knows how much of a fanatic I am about it. food and how loyal I am and how you know for years I didn't eat sandwiches when I left North Bergen like nothing would measure up yeah yeah yeah and it was such a simple sandwich roast the roast beef there she made it fresh not with humans not boys head

she bought it every night took that rope off when she got home from work at 5 o'clock when she got home from the deli the deli stayed open till 9 when they got home at 5 they would start cooking for the next day Wow. And we had a relationship with the Hashways. Yeah, you had a relationship? Nobody. This is why we know everything about them.

So I would go, my mom would send me over with, like, my mom would cook, like, pot roast at home or something. And she would send me over there, and Anne or Joe would slice her pot roast. Right. And I'd take it home. And then I would feel so guilty. I'd walk in, I could remember walking in, and Joe would be cleaning the slicer. And I'd be walking in, like, he's ready to go home. And he always would take it.

it always would take it even though he was like you know one foot out the door ready to I mean it just unbelievable like we said like family you know they were family yeah yeah but once they took over that liquor store in 84 everything changed drugs was fuel them it was if you went in there at 8 o'clock at night you couldn't it was a fucking it was crazy it was crazy there'd be 15 people in there coked up to the gills and And people coming in buying lottery tickets because they bought lottery tickets and booze and you'd stay. It was embarrassing. And we'd all go up there and help him the quicker he stocked the shelves, the quicker we'd go out and party.

So 10 of us would go up there and stock every fucking shelf in 10 minutes. All the beers, all the booze. We'd sweep. Let's get the fuck out of it. So we'd go party. And it got so bad. By the end of 84 that summer, that town was in Margot's walking. walking around with a microwave oven, the cocaine, and a bazook.

I mean, everybody was going off. And by that time, it was coming in and more abundance that you were snorting. So people were giving it to you on credit, which made the situation even worse. So we all went to a place called the Mikeai. Yeah, oh, I remember the, Kennedy Boulevard. I remember the Micahy. They got shut down for selling cat and for using the grass from the cemetery. for what?

What were they using grass for? You know when you go to the dish and they have all that grass All that lettuce and all that shit Oh They were mowing the lawn at the cemetery And sprinkling it on your fucking food And shit

How's that for you? They found a bunch of cats and lizards And fucking iguanas And it was crazy We would go there first of 11 And drink a couple of zombies And get fucked up And then we'd shoot out

To a giant game and get more fucked up at the giant game and then we'd shoot the fucking corkies at about six or seven and it was it that was it he had $2.00 bluebirds which was bluebird orange juice bluebird orange juice with

smearing off vodka or something $2 a piece you know he was a nice boy Billy horrenda we get the hash we get the we get the we get the corkies on this beautiful Sunday had to be like Sunday if you look at the line

Look at the Giants 1984 winter schedule for football It was like September 25th 1984 When they played the Tampa Bay Buccaneers And fucking that lineback

That running back He was the James Wilder Oh okay So what do you want to know They lost the Buccaneers? Yeah November 11th of 84. Oh, it was November 11th.

Fuck, I thought it was September 23rd. It was November 11th. No. Oh, no, they did. I'm sorry, they played twice. What was the first time? September 23rd. You're absolutely right.

You see what I'm saying, dog? You see what I'm saying, dog? You see what I'm saying, dog? You can't pull one over on Uncle Joey. Because I never forgot that date because from there we went to hash. We went to Corkies and Hashways was closed on Sunday. And all of a sudden, we're in Corky's getting fucked up. at six o'clock in the afternoon

and all of a sudden you have fire trucks pulling up and we're like, what the fuck? And all of a sudden they're kicking down the door at Ashways and they're going in there and the windows are burning and what the fuck and we're all outside and people were crying.

I mean people fucking drove up there and were crying. Jesus. Because I remember my mom calling me and tell me about it was up at school, yeah. And it burnt down to the fucking crisp. It took a couple months to reopen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yeah.

And I never forget that years later, they said that one of the brothers was downstairs smoking crack. Did you know that story? You heard something? Yeah. Fucking hilarious, only in North Bergen. He put the crack pipe, he was smoking crack downstairs, and also he heard something. As you do. Huh?

He heard something, and he put the crack pipe down, and he walked to see what it was, and the crack pipe, like the wind got into something. Like, this is the story I heard. The torch fell over and the torch burned something. That's, and then North Bergen covered it up, and they said it was on electrical fire or some shit. That's what the word was on the street. Only in North Bergen, can you hear something so funny? That was the thing about my hometown that you said something beautiful tonight, Billy. You said that when you leave North Bergen, you expect that every place is like North Bergen.

and that's the same thing that happened to me. I thought that when I left North Perkins people were going to be like that. I thought that everybody had the same mindset as we had. I thought that, you know, I'm very proud to come from there because I came from there at a time when you don't have earrings. Here do I. You don't have any tattoos. I don't have any tattoos.

You know, if you see the kids from that generation, we didn't fall for anything. We didn't. We didn't fall for anything. I mean, we fell for nothing. We fell for drugs, you know, not you and your brother. But, you know, everybody's like this in North Bergen. Nobody was into tattoos at that time. You couldn't really have long hair.

They were like these little unspoken type rules. If you want to get along with, North Bergen, this is what's going to work, bro. And I got it at an early age. You know, when they got you a job, you worked hard like that. Yeah, yeah. A little North Bergen job. A seeded program. You get a job there, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Up at the park or whatever, yeah. You know, like, I remember asking Mike Ruddy's nephew when he came out. He was in the Navy, and he came up to spend the week on me, and I go, so how was Hashways growing up? And he goes, I never ate at Hashways growing up. Like, you grew up next to one of the greatest delis that you'll ever eat on in your life. The only thing they didn't have that I didn't care was Wet Mutsidel. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's interesting.

They never had Wet Mucin. They never really had that hard bread. I would go up to the place on 91st Street, which is still there. Not Roma, but the other place that was there for $3 in those days, they gave you a sandwich, Lee. Lee, me and you can not finish it. No way. $3. Lee, no way.

Me and Mike Runny can not finish it. Ponte Corvo, no, no, no, no, no, no. On top of 91st Street, on top of 91st Street by the gas station that Ashley robbed, right across the street. They used to be in Italian deli. they made an Italian sandwich for $3, Lee, in 1982. You could not finish. Stacked. Wet muts, salami, provagou, fucking, the other shit, the presute, ham, provolone, two types of cheese, lettuce, vinegar, oil, olives.

You couldn't finish it. Jesus. And then the Palmer's. The Palmas, yeah. The Palmer's. Then you had Roma pizza, which was fucking. Tremontas. They used to have the stromboli dog

that if you'd eat that shit in Vegas, your head would blow up in the one of North Bergen. They used to also make a shrimp parmesan sandwich. They used to also, then you go down from there and there was other kid. Soul pizzeria. Sol pizzeria.

Joey Rotunda. Is that Phil? Phil. Tremendous pizza. Tremendous pizza. We were blessed with tremendous pizza. This is why I'm the way I am, Lee.

This is why I'm the way I am. You know. See, that's the comment. To me, that's the common denominator. Like a fancy word for it would be authenticity. But people are just real. And I think the reason why there's such a strong bond and love for you is just because you're real.

And there's just a toughness about people, I think, that we grew up with, like a resiliency, like a fire, that everyone had. and has and just kind of channeled it in whatever they were passionate about you know what I mean and that's it you have to have that passion or if not you get eaten up you get yeah and you get left behind or yeah yeah yeah it was something weird like I see the kids I grow up with now like veneery me you oh none of us have time to we wouldn't even think about like that would just be no no no bueno like nobody really had long hair we just you know these kids were said no we're fucking athletes.

Like, I was the only dropout. These guys were athletes, and they still smoked a little pond, they still drank, and they still robbed beer trucks. You know, where we came from, jocks had a different... Jocks were like a little bit fucking little crazier,

a little bit on the crazy side. But I thank myself every day for being from Northburg, New Jersey. And I think the other thing, too, was, like, I was very thankful to, like, the older guys, because they would always look out for you. You know what I mean?

Like Vic Saletti. We talked a little bit about like Jimmy Miller and those guys Blitzhoffer down at 82nd Street. They would like look out for you. So like, and with my brothers, I never, you know, I just got squashed. I never really had the opportunity to get too far off the rails. Not to mention my mother, who was, you know, Rock or Gibraltar. I mean, there was no, I was not going to get too far out of line because, you know,

he's had a great family, great support system, great friends. But the older guys in the neighborhood really looked out for you, I think. And they cared enough to kind of just keep you in line. It's crazy how I look at you and if I close my eyes, I could still see you with the basketball, with the shorts on, playing the ball between your legs, calling us all out. Who wants some, you know, who's going to get some of this today? Who wants it?

You and Tommy Barker bothering us and shit, like trying to fucking break up balls. We talked about the hierarchy by Parker. Yeah, the hierarchy by Parker. It was just, it was such an innocent time, you know, and I go, but I used to go back, I would call all, everybody and say, look, I get in at one, I'll meet you at Hashraiser 3.30. And I'd meet 15 people at one shot, done. I'd kill every bird at one stone. They tell all your stories, you eat your little ham and cheese sandwich,

you get your little rice pudding, Lee, they had a rice pudding. That was phenomenal. I love the rice pudding. Then I turned Ralphie Mae onto the ripe pudding. And Ralphie Mae would fly in Newark and just go get rice pudding by the tub. They would make Ralphie Mae the whole tray of fucking rice pudding. It was delicious. With the cinnamon and the fucking whipped cream, you never had better rice pudding on that.

The macaroni salad was to die for. The potato salad was to die for. You know what my wife loves? was the seafood salad. I like the tuna. Okay. Here's my question about the tuna. Did they put anything in it?

Like celery or weird? Okay. I can now, that's how you know it's a good place. I hate that. She would take the tuna. I would watch her in the mornings. She'd empty the tuna and she'd break it all by hand. And then she'd put the mayonnaise, a little salt and pepper.

That's all you eat. And she'd give it to you by the cup. So you get a medium cup of tuna or a large cup of tuna and eat tuna. And eat tuna, you didn't have to eat the bread. She was 20 years ahead of the game to say way before the fucking Cubs. No, that was my problem. And that's why I think I gained. I never talked about these stories because I thought everybody had them.

Right, right. When I left North Perrier, and I'm like, okay. So who gives a fuck? But I never forget one time when I was growing up. I was at a friend's house that he had a reputation for being a big party guy. It was that winter, 84, when North Bergen was just going nuts. And I'll never forget this scene. We were in this basement.

It was a Sunday night. There had to be 20 North Bergen kids in there. And you'd think it was Friday night at 8 o'clock. And these guys had all been going strong since Friday. Same clothes. They had been the city. And I'll never forget that these kids walked in. They came with somebody from North Bergen.

I forget who brought them. There were three kids from Cliff's, Park. And they came, they showed up at like four. And they were like, yeah, we want to drink with you. I know. It was a great time. But there was somebody in that room that kept taking out packages of drugs. And finally one of the kids from Cliffside, looked at the other two and he goes, we have to get out of here. Like, these guys are just crazy. And they left and everybody started laughing. Like, it was a scene from a biker movie. Like, they really ran out of it. Like, this is just too crazy. And I always sat there going, you know, is it us? I mean, what

Was it? There was something in the water that made us crazy? I still remember one Halloween when everybody showed up with animals. Okay? I got a call like at 8 o'clock that we were going to this fucking Halloween party dressed as garbage. To just show up behind the high school at 6.30 that they had cut the bottoms out of garbage cans. And you had to, they put suspenders on the garbage cans. So you had to wear shorts and put the garbage cans.

and put the garbage can over you and then get a bag. A brown bag we got from hashways, and we crazy glued it to the top of the tin. So you could put the glue on the cap on your head, and you had a garbage can on your head. And then we took strings, and somebody went to the pet shop and got like 30 mice. And we took strings, and we tied the tails of mice.

Every kid does this. Listen to this. and we tied the other end to the top. Oh. So you were walking around, and the mice were hanging off your garbage can. Yeah. Just by the tails, biting down. Like 10 of us showed up at this Halloween party with these garbage cans on, dressed as garbage,

with actual spaghetti boxes in us from hashways. We all took all the boxes. And we didn't stink like garbage or anything. We just were dressed like garbage. So somebody fucking, I think it was Mike Roney. This is my sock. my junior year. I think it was Mike running in front of all these

kids, got up on the stage without saying a word. I'll never forget this is playing this day. You know how kids are. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha. He's like, you look great. It was a Halloween thing. And this kid got up and he goes, hey, and everybody turned around, he took

the first string, and he took the mouse. He opened his mouth, and he dropped that mouse in his mouth and he bit that fucking thing in half and blood squirted out of his face and you heard people puking the girls were yelling and shit

I still remember hearing the girls just lose it like this yelling screaming those whims and all of a sudden everybody at the same time took those mice and started biting their heads off yes we did and we started I bit that mouse head off

and I spit that head up into the air could taste of blood Oh my God. It was fucking horrible. I'm surprised I'm not dead today from doing that shit. And a bunch of them were eating the fucking mice. They were taking the heads off the floor and chewing on the heads. It was terrible.

It's because you got that mold. Oh, my God. He's going to be fine from the mold now. Like, for a year or two, a bunch of those idiots were eating shit at parties. So they would go to parties and take a bottle and break it with a hammer and start eating the glass at the party. somebody saw somebody eat a bicycle on David Letterman in those days and they wanted to eat a fucking bicycle. I mean, these guys are crazy. You have no fucking ideally.

I'm surprisingly if anyone even brought like one mouse into like my high school dance, like they wouldn't have made it like three feet. They would have been tackled by the by like the janitor or something. When he bit that fucking mouse is at all. What do you mean? You can't just say him now. You just said everyone did it. But the first guy that did it, when he bit that fucking head off

and that blood squirted out of his mouth, you thought Godzilla was in town. Even the teachers were yelling. They didn't know what to think. The poor teachers in the high school didn't know it. That's what I'm saying. Did your mom was like, your mom was like, listen,

I go to Ashway's, I know what goes into that high school. I can't have you go over there. Those kids are fucking animals. Do you think you, like, ruin the careers of any teachers? Like, they left? Like, they were, like, 26, and had like full of hope and they had you guys for like a year or two and then they left the teaching

profession you must have just destroyed when i was in grammar school i went to grandma school with pretty much civilized animals mckinley school because it had the people from 26th street park and they had like nuclear waste over there and those buildings something was over there that fucked those kids up let me tell you something in those days north bergen had a thing that If you were 16 and you were in the seventh grade, they had to automatically put you in the pilot program. And you went to high school. You're 16 in the seventh grade.

I like that that happened so often that they had a rule about it. Because Spanish kids came from Cuban. They couldn't speak the language. Oh, okay. So until they couldn't figure out the English, they were leaving back. So they were leaving back for three fucking years. These kids were, they, when I got to the eighth grade, there was a kid named Peter Jimenez.

He was like 16 and he in the seventh grade. He had a beard. He had a mustache. She drove his sister to the school every day like a driver's permit and shit. You know, it was, it was, McKinley for me, when I left Sacred Heart School for Boys, was a complete 360. Oh.

Like I had never seen that even in New York City. I went to school. PS 166. I was a little on the young side. I was only in the third grade. If anybody was doing anything bad, it was me in those days. They got thrown out of there because I was stealing the teachers edition and selling them to other students for this.

for the small two dollars and shit but when i went to mckinley that was my three years of mckinley i could write a book about yeah i'm sure you could i saw louis alvar punched leogatoni right in the fucking face i saw an eighth grader punched the principal or the school in the eighth grade and almost knocked them out that the principal took like three steps and louis he he graduated In fact, he's still on my, he's my Facebook friend, Louis Al-Livar. I saw a parent beat the fuck out of a teacher at that school. I mean, at three o'clock, I saw a teacher got arrested. At that school, he ended up going to prison for like seven years for fucking the mayor of Weehawking.

I just had a cup of coffee. No, go ahead, go ahead. You have no fucking idea, Lee. Jesus Christ. I don't. No, this was crazy. McKinley School. was completely crazy.

Then I ran into Carmine Balzana, and he beat up the teacher. They beat up the teacher twice. This was a fucking Western. This was a Wild West type fucking production. And like no, because you would go to New York and you would see,

so you were just around craziness all the time? All the time. All the time. All the time. And the people, you know, it was just weird. I quit karate.

And I went with the circle. I hit the number. Karate before basketball? I was thinking about that. Karate was during basketball, and the main reason why I quit karate was for basketball. I quit karate in the eighth grade. Oh, okay.

So I could be ready for freshman year. I didn't want to bother and I didn't want to fucking torture me. So you were kind of an athlete? Yes. But even though I was considered the jock, I was still a druggie. I was still crazy. We weren't jocks like the ordinary jocks.

That's what blew your mind. We weren't jocks like ordinary jocks. We were jocks that were also junkies. And everybody knew it. That we were smoking pot and doing acid and doing TAC crystal. We were taking it fucking deep. Am I proud of this? No.

I was a dumb kid. I can't remember. I mean, it's just, I can't even relate to it. At 15, 16, I don't think I had my first, like, smoke of, like, a joint until I was 18, I think. I drank a little bit in high school, but barely. You know, I wanted to bring Billy on just to show you

that there was also decent people in Lugberg and also. You know, they weren't just fucking animals. That, you know, we weren't just animals. I mean... But you know what? There were things that happened that, like, you almost forget about. Like, I can remember a fight breaking out one day, and I was, like, about 11

on my corner. And, you know, one thing leads to another, and a guy, he's got another guy on the ground. He's got a knife to his neck. So it's like, you know, like some of those things you remember because, you know, you probably, maybe you've never heard someone scream for their life. But that, that creates like a searing memory. You know what I mean?

But again, that was, luckily it didn't escalate after that, let them go and the whole bit. But you kind of, you just kind of roll with it. but it was you know it was never a dull moment that's for sure it was very educational

and it's I think that I mean you ended up becoming what you do I think it has a lot to do right no no totally yeah yeah yeah

all of life's lessons like you described that couple of okay listen whether you go from 91st street down a 6th street or if you go from

76 to 79th All of life lessons are right there. They were. They were really right there. It's true. Very true. It's funny how if I think about stand-up comedy, I think about freshman basketball,

getting on the number one bus, and just tormenting that poor bus driver. From the minute you get on that bus on 79th Street, you start singing the odd couple and fucking the honeymooners. And by the time you get the 50th Street, he actually pulls over and goes, you guys are knocking off, or they're going to throw you off the bus.

And then the second place, the early Roots of Comedy were right in front of Hachways. Right. Right in front of that, you know, with eight other funny people. Now,

wasn't Cramden driving that number one bus. No, no, no. It was just really weird how those, my lessons in front of that deli are standing in front of that, cracking jokes, you know,

like, just, it's who I am to that. Yeah. It really, you know, I'm into food because of that deli. I'll argue to the debt with anybody, and I'll bring back up and we'll win any argument with that deli because that deli was more than good. It was who we were.

Like I said earlier, it was our identity, you know, tabs. Right, right. Nobody's got tabs. And the other thing, Coco, that maybe you overlook is you're too close to it is the, like, just the art of conversational. and like you know what I mean like that somehow everybody I'm as guilty is anybody you're on your phone you're texting like Parker says to me every now and now and I know enough with the texting you know pick up the phone and call but you know what I think there you really learned how to how to socialize

how to you know bridge gaps whether it was you know Spanish people black people people that were different than you older people younger people you know what I felt like it really stretched your horizons and you learned how to get along basically. Pretty funny, interesting. You said that. I won't take a text from nobody from North Bergen. You won't? Yeah, I noticed that.

You're not a bit, yeah, yeah. Especially if you're from North Bergen. Right. If I find your text and you're from North Bergen, I do not contact you. Right, right, right. I don't get text. I won't get text. Yeah.

Unless you call me and say, Joey, I'm sending you a text message. I won't get the text for three or four days. And by that time, I don't even look at it. I just erase it because anybody who's close to me knows if you text me. I know that. I know that when you're not a text. If I get a text from you, there's numbers like four days later. They tell me I found something.

I forget what I reocoded was. I love these people that just talk to you on a text. Right. And they don't even tell you who they are. They identify themselves. Like, I'm not going to call you back anyway. But it's just your text messages, when I find like 26 of them at one. shot. That's when I get them

when I get like 32 at one shot and I just press edit all of them. You get rid of them. You get rid of them. I don't even read them. See, I always feel like if it, well listen there's certainly a time and a place for it. There's no time in a place in my world. In your world it's not

even close. I don't ever want to text my time for somebody because if it's important the chance to be getting to the slim and done because of your stupidity, call a motherfucker. If you want somebody to know something call that motherfucker. I don't play with text.

I don't want. Good for you. That's good. I don't want them. I don't, especially when it comes to business. Is that right? Yeah. Especially.

How about, if you text me for business? Yeah. I won't do business with you. There you go. I like it. I like it. I don't want to do business with you.

You got to pick up the phone. Yeah. I don't give a fuck if you're 10 or 80. I don't know. Ask Lee, we laugh our asses on. We laugh. because if you're my brother, you know not to,

so I don't really give a fuck. If you text me, it's because you're not close to me, so I don't really, my agents know not to text me. Anybody that's close to me and the industry knows, do not text them

because you're not going to get a reply. He's not even going to get it. He's not going to get it. Because I'm not into him. I don't want to have to put my glasses on and read, and then the other thing, when I was getting them, and I do get a text,

it's just too annoyed. It's just two and all Well you know what happens What time? Five What time is the Nick game 6.30? What time we're meeting

That's eight That's good I can live with that one I can live with that one But the short stories And the no no no no no No no no The 92 all night long

No no no no You got one good text And I got one good answer And after that There's no more fucking texting I'm not gonna sit here typing a short fucking story because you don't want to talk on the phone

So you open the door to that If you go one, I hear you Because then it may never end That's why I said no No, no, I'm not doing it I feel like if it's There are time sensitive things I love it I think is a great place for it

But I do feel I agree with you that there are things That if we're friends You're gonna call It's important enough And don't expect like an email Like that I'm You get people that are gonna email

email me. That's another thing. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, I'm obligated to email you back because you were too lazy to pick up the phone and call me. If it's that important. It's so weird how

if you allow that game, that game won't happen. You know, it's just like basketball. You let them fast break. But see, I have people, too, that like will text, like, you know, people text me, hey, can you come on a show to talk about the playoffs?

But I'll respond to those. Because those are people I'm friends who I have a relationship with. I'm going to do that. But you don't like that. No, I don't want a text message whatsoever on my phone. When you text me, you're telling me you're not close to me. You don't know not to call me, so I don't want to do business with you.

It's the weirdest thing. When I was a young guy walked into Mr. Biggs in North Bergen, I went in Hoboken. I went in Hoboken. He's talking about Biggies? No, Mr. Biggs. It was John Benders and DeBenders. Okay, okay. And the biggest lessons I learned was I walked in there when they knew the family.

So I could walk in there and say, let me get a hero, and then give me whatever the fuck I want. And one day I was hanging out, you know, wiping tables down. I was always very grateful if you gave me a sandwich. I'd wipe the table down and throw the garbage out or whatever. And I said, now come you're always here, Jimmy. Whenever I come here, you're always fucking here. Get help. He goes, I'm looking for help.

In fact, he picked up like a handful of applications. And he threw him down. And he goes, I got help, but I'm not going to hire another of these people. I'm like, why not? It's just a fucking, I was like a kid, you know. I thought you could just hire people. I didn't know they had to check references and shit. And there used to be a box in those days.

In the 70s, 80s and 90s, there used to be a box on applications. And it said if you do not answer the questions in this box unless there's a check up on top. It's that easy. Unless there's a check up on top, don't answer these questions. Oh, okay, got you. So people would fill out those questions. He wouldn't hire them because they couldn't listen. They don't pay attention to detail.

If they don't pay attention to the detail. And I always listen to what he said. And he goes, I treat my life like this. If you don't fall under a certain category, I'm not wrong. So when you're texting me, you're telling me that you don't even know me. Yeah. Because if I, especially North Bergen people, when I got to text them somebody from North Bergen, I don't reply to them.

They should be ashamed of themselves. They were raised better. They were raised better. You know, they hit me up for like tickets or something. I won't call them back. Call me, though. Especially people I know 30, 40 years. Oh, there was somebody I called from Northburg in about three weeks ago.

And for some reason, I haven't talked to this guy in a year because of his text messages. Really? He never stops. There's times I call him, and he'll text me back. I could see you text to me. Yeah, that really gets me. That really gets me. That means I won't be talking to you for another year.

And finally, the other day he called. And he goes, dog, I've been texting you for a year. I haven't gotten one of them. Really? Nope. Next time, call. Yeah. That's it.

I know you 50 fucking years. I did drugs a year. We did a thousand things together. No. I didn't get one of them. Oh, no. I don't get nothing. You know me?

I haven't gotten anything in years. The only text he ever sends is pictures of food. Whenever he goes back to New Jersey, I get like randomly. I get like four pictures. And you're headed back. Well, you're going to be on the island, right? I'll be on the island. Not this weekend next weekend.

Yeah, I won't. fucking go to North Parican. Not even in a fucking COVID. Yeah, that's like a different world. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's June. Oh, yeah, I mean, forget it. Fuck you.

On a Friday. Yeah. They offer me, they offer me the theater, the Paramount Theater in Long Island, like next weekend Friday night at 8 o'clock. I was like, are you people retarded? Are you people retarded? Give me Saturday,

but I ain't involved with no Friday. Fuck you. Because everybody's going down the shore. Long Island's busy on Friday nights. Everybody's going on. Oh, yeah. Forget it. Yeah. Yeah. You're dead. You're dead. It's seven hours or something

somebody was telling me one time on a Friday. It's insanity. Yeah. It's crazy. I don't need to go to Northburg. I don't want nobody coming over. People can come see you. You're going 3,000 miles. You're going to be out of the island? No, no. I told Timmy Holloway yesterday. Forget. Yeah. And somebody else last week, don't even come. Please. I don't want to see no about it. This is my weekend to relax.

I'll be in Northberg in July 29th that I was that right No, I'm at the Borgado and half of North Bergen We'll be there Perfect That's perfect That's perfect

That's what I'll see everybody Until that time I don't want to see nobody I don't want to see nobody I don't want to North Bergen I don't want nobody from North Bergen coming up to Long Island I want to be left the fuck alone

This weekend You know me, Doug What's up Lee? I don't know what I'm more higher on The stars or the mold I think the mold might have The mold is fucking tremendous here You might have just created

Your whole new brand a brand new edible You have to like get let it. I can't believe. It's like when you let cheese get moldy. Maybe maybe there's like some hidden secret. Maybe like the T.HC intensifies. I had a taste of a weird taste in my mouth before. I sucked the cock like a moldy dick.

But at the gallo, all the water and ten fucking bongets. I'm all right now. Now what, tell these people what you do, the sports report. Yeah. So you know what? Coco, I do, Lee, I do two sports updates, 26 and 56 after the hour, 5 a.m. to 9 a.m. Pacific time on KFBK, which is a, you know, an I-Heart radio station based in Sacramento.

So it's just, you know, your basic, like WINS, you know, they do the wheel, news, traffic, weather, business, sports, you know, rinse and repeat. And then during the basketball season, I'll work for, you know, a couple of different entities as it, primarily as an analyst for games, like whether it's the Mountain West Conference, like UNLV or San Diego State or Colorado State. Boise State, bouncing around, doing those games. Also, the Big West Conference, you know, from Long Beach State to Fullerton to, to, you know, Riverside, Santa Barbara. In this season, I worked a little bit Purdue at Indiana on national radio stuff. So you got to fly out there? Yeah.

Yeah, so they fly you out there, they put you up. And then, yeah, so it's a little bit of a hodgepodge. And I'll do a lot of NBA stuff, ad hoc stuff, like whether it's the Clippers, pregame show or you know like just sports talk throughout the country on you know the NBA and what's going on and some of it on the Sacramento Kings I spent a year with uh what's now NBC Sports Bay Area on the Kings pre and post game show so it's kind of like a hodgepodge of stuff so it's fun it's not unlike being on the corner at uh at hashways talking sports right I mean just breaking it down breaking down the Knicks or the Nets or the Yankees so it's a great job and it's a great job and it's

kind of fun too because, you know, what it's, listen, it's about learning about the game, the people that you meet along the way. There's always so much to learn, it's so much fun. And also in this job, you can't, you know, like coaching is tough because, you know, you've got a million responsibilities and it's high turnover and people, some are going to like you, some are going to be unhappy because you're not getting playing time or whatever it may be. You got to deal with the media. There's a lot of demands. Alumni, if you're a college coach, alumni, administration, student body, community, you know, there's a lot to carry. So as an analyst, it's like, it's tremendous.

You're a guest at shoot around the day of the game. You're a guest in that arena, wherever the game is. You're a guest on that network, that platform, and you're a guest in somebody's living room. So it's like a lot of fun. But you don't win and lose at the end of the day, but you don't have, you also don't have people mad at you either. So it's kind of like a great job. It's a lot of fun. Just being around the game and learning. It's fascinating what's going on and how it's changed and how it's evolved and all that stuff. So that kind of keeps me going and really energized and passionate about it because you can

look at UB. Brown. He's going strong at 83. There's no stopping him and you're learning along the way as the thing evolved is great. Like I totally, once life got real, I don't watch that much sports anymore. Once life started getting real, I lost it I watched five minutes of shit Do you watch the end of games Cocoa like will you watch the finals and like

I watched the final's a couple minutes I watched the finals Monday night They were down by They were down by I didn't think anything at all Yeah It doesn't didn't stir you at all Didn't you know

You get emotional when you see teams win Like do you ever get emotional When you see like Durant and his mom Or Curry and his family or I don't give a friend's fuck Yeah they seem like a Yankee team to me

the Warriors Golden State seems like a Yankee team to me But they were terrible just a few years ago Like when I was following basketball When the Celtics were pretty good The Warriors were like laughing stuff They were booing lake them off the floor They've been sucking for 20 years

So I'm really proud about that I just don't know I just uh No it's fair enough I mean it's I don't have anything I don't have any what's that expression I don't have a dog in the fight Yeah yeah yeah

It's like college moves too fast. I mean, I know who Kylie Irving is. Bad motherfucker, and I know who the kid from Golden State is. I know some of the players. I know the kid from North Bergen.

Oh, Kyle Anderson. Yeah, we do the Spurs. Yeah, yeah. Sure. You know, shit like that, but I couldn't tell you anything about anything. Yeah. Yeah. Football, I watched the last couple

playoff games. The white supremacy, man, is the best quarterback the last 20 years. matter. Ain't nobody better than Tom Brady. He's white supremacy man? Yeah. He's the only white person that's really

entitled, that deserves to be entitled. The rest of white America could suck my dick. When they do what he could do, dump a pregnant chick and fucking win five Super Bowls, then come see me, all right? Just dumping the pregnant chick alone tells me you give a fuck about Catholicism and your last name

is Brady. Now you're going to win five Super Bowls to boo or whatever. He's 119 Super Bowl. Who gives the fuck? They Nobody better than a game. Yeah, Montana's thinking to make him a comeback. He's fucking tormenting people. And if they fuck with him again, he might win this year too. It's unbelievable what they...

He might win this year too if they fuck with him again. He might just go, you know what, I'll drop the first four games. Because the quarterbacks, they have under him as savages. Yeah, Garoppolo, they think is pretty good. Yeah, just to be under him and to watch him. What did he do with Garapolo last year? They survived, right? Were they three and one with him?

Well, he... Before Brady came back, right? He got hurt, I think, after the second game. So they brought Jacoby Brissette. That's right. And then he won. And then he won. They got heat.

They got heat. If you're sitting behind Brady, you're learning. Well, that's unbelievable. You're learning. You're learning so much behind him. It's like sitting behind Aveson. It's like sitting behind Julius Irving for four years. It's like just sitting there and being his body double, guarding him,

learning all those moves. See, the thing is, you know what, listen, if you think about basketball, right, I can sum it up. It's ball you man. That's how you defend. Ball you man. Shot goes up. Hit, find, go get it.

Offensively, it's pace and space. It's pick and roll. Pass and screen away. I mean, in other words, what I'm trying to say is, it's not complicated at all. It really isn't. And all of this, like, even though there's like all the analytics now and what have you,

this obfuscation, you know, taking the simple and making it complex. And then you've got this, you know, blogger demagoguery where, you know, the pendulum swings on, you know, virtually every possession. People are going bananas, every, you know, every game's life or death. They don't realize that, you know, like it's so funny. You see, how about these reporters, like the questions they ask? It's like ridiculous. They ask, LeBron, he's now too Zip.

They're going back to Cleveland. He's like, hey, do you think that you have to protect home court? It's like, of course you've got to protect. You're a smart guy. What happens if we don't protect home court? Somebody asked Doc Rivers, Chris Paul scored, and then Utah came down and scored to beat them, you know? And they're down one, and somebody asked,

did Chris Paul score too soon? I mean, I could go on and on with these crazy questions. But anyway, my point is, you know, it's just interesting to watch because the game itself is not complicated at all. But it's about, you know, getting these guys ultra-talented, basically independent contractors getting them to buy in and to incorporate your game plan into what you want. You see somebody like the Warriors do it,

and the Spurs have been doing it quietly, almost like in a boring way to do it. You know, the Spurs have kept opponents under 100 points for like 20 years. And we have the last NBA champion that was out of the top 10 in defensive rating was like the 01 Lakers. Billy, you know you're talking about me Chinese right now?

I don't know what the fuck you're saying. I don't give a fuck about the Chinese. A hundred-packed points in game. Anyway, but it's just interesting to what. But to your point, though, it's hard to keep up because the free agency guys like baseball. Most hard, they're all over the map. They're all over the place. I couldn't.

Once I followed sports as far as I could until life kicked in. Once my life kicked in, I couldn't sit there no more, Billy. Right, yeah. I can't sit there. I got something to do. in the back of my mind, I'm there 10 minutes, and I go, okay, there's got to be something. Yeah. I could be doing the better myself.

So that was what happened. I couldn't, I still remember. You matured. No, because I remember still, and it was even before I got locked up, like I had given up sports. Like I was living in Denver, and everybody was John Elway crazy. Right. And while people were Elwaying, I was working. Right.

I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. They would go away. what? Don't you want you interested? And I go, I'm an adult. Right. There's something that has to come first. If I have the luxury, you know, I was taking classes and I would go, wait a second.

I'm going to watch four hours of football. I got to study. See, I'm giving up the game, Lee. I'm going on. The season's over. No, no, no, no. No, I know. This is what happened to me.

This is what happened to me. This is what personally happened to me. You know, and then I got, I got locked up, and that became even higher. Right. What the whole am I doing watching basketball? Right. There's got to be something I can be fucking doing, you know?

Yeah. Something. So now I'll tell Lee, I watch sports for 15 minutes here, eight minutes here. I watch a Dodger game. That got awful to watch. I can't watch it. Baseball is slow for me anymore.

I like September, so I'll wait until September. You know, if I'm home on a Sunday night and the Red Sox are playing the Yankees, I'll watch an inning of both of them. I let them both go out. Yeah, that's enough for me. But to sit there for four innings, five innings, I could write a joke guy.

Yeah, I got lights to turn on. I got, there's always something. You could do a push-up. That's right, yeah, exactly. That's the other thing. It's eight fucking hours. And you put potato chips in your fucking mouth and pizzas and fucking wings, you know.

And it's Sunday. She's gonna wake up Monday feeling like that. And this is the way, like, even though I'm a fat fuck, like I always felt like this. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna go over and they go for what? to have potato chips with that onion dip, the lip-thin and sour cream dip. It was just, I don't know what it was.

See, now, I got away from it when my kids were young. Right. I got away from it. You had to. Yeah. Because you could watch it. The thing that saved you today is that you could tape things. Yeah, exactly.

Fuck you. I'm going to be one of those assholes. Please don't tell me. Did you watch the game? Don't tell me. No, no, no. It's impossible now. I hate all that shit.

Yeah. I hate all that shit. I used to try. try to do that with the Patriots, but I had to stop, because you'd always call me and tell me how Tom Brady was doing. I'm going to take and watch it later tonight. And then when somebody tells you, you're like, I wasted a tape. Right.

I'm wasting a tape. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to watch it now. I'm going to see. I don't want to see a spectacular game. Right. Like, went to the Super Bowl this year. They were losing 29,000 points.

Yeah. I went in the room and wrote for a little while. I came, but that's what I'll do. Yeah. Like, if this is something I want to watch, I sacrificed a lot. little. There you go. You got to give a little. But I used to get on Lee. Lee, you're 20-something years old. I'm

20-something years old. I'm getting my dick sucked. I'm not going to sit there with eight idiots at a ball. Well, hold. He held them under the points. You're getting paid for it. You know what I'm saying? If you're not getting paid to study all those stats, but you're a dumb fuck during the week,

I don't want to sit with the other Sunday. It's all fucking day. Billy, I grew up at the garden Billy, Billy, I went to three Julius serving Christmas games at the garden Once with Chuck McBrean when Julius I'm on Christmas Day I'm one of those assholes, okay?

I took a bus to see Moses Malone With the Houston Rockets when the Nets play that Piscataway There's a surprise. It's a rack! Okay, there's a surprise about that. You had to take a bus to the Port Authority and switch buses. So we didn't get home until two in the morning.

and me, Chuck McBrean, to see Moses Malone in Houston when he was 20, 20 and 20 every night. 20 rebounds, 20 points, and 20 smacks to the face. Somebody got beat up. I did shit. I went to, I drove to Philadelphia this year's Sixers. I drove to Uniondale to see the Nets as a kid. I did everything.

I went to see, I was there when Pete Rose beat up Bud Harrelson. You were at that game? Yeah, 19703. I went to maybe 10 fucking Ranger games. I went to maybe two islander games. You know, I went to just one jet game. I never liked the Jets to sit out there. But I went to, I don't know how many countless giant games.

How many fucking general games are I go to? How many general games that I fucking go to? You know what I'm saying? In 90 degree weather, you know what I'm saying? So for me to admit this to you as a sports guy, I mean, I don't know what happened. Sure, but life changes, though. I totally get it. It was the weirdest thing.

And I gambled for a while. And once I left North Bergen, I said, you know what? I'll never gamble again. And now I totally gamble on this. He won't because he's got a fucking, you know, so he won't bet. And then he'll come to me and say, how did you know?

Come on. That's what we grew up in. Now I see all the moves. And then once you see a team, you know how they're tailored. You start looking at their line. And you see how they start fucking killing people. Whenever Brady has a high line,

that means he's going to shut the lights out on you. That means your world's going to come through. You know what I'm saying? Like you're done. But I just, I just knew it because, you know, obviously my job. I don't know. It's your fucking job.

And it's, for me, it just, it's become fun again. Like, for a while, I was like, you're right. I kept one eye on it running around with the kids. But I can totally see that, though, because there's a lot, there's a lot, there are so many demands on your time. And it disappoints me. Is that right? As an American?

Sure, it disappoints me. But it disappoints me in the same way I'm disappointed by that. Okay. I'm not looking for a handoff, Billy. But there's not a situation where I could come over here and go, Billy, what are you doing today? Nothing. Let's get the fuck out of you.

Let's go see a fucking Laker game. And we go down there, me and you go over to the place, and we throw a steak down our throat, and we grab Lee, and we smoke a number with Lee, and then we walk over. You know what?

You want to charge me 65 for tickets of the Lakers, but I can't give you $185 for the top shelf. Right, right, right. I got to sit up there with angels. I got to sit up there all the way up at the top of 185. I can't do it. Yeah. I can't do it.

Yeah, sure. No, I get that. I saw Julia serving for 15. Right. Yeah. For 12.50, I saw Julia serving on Christmas Day. You want to bother me with 185 to see these pathetic smugs run up and down? It breaks my heart that I don't go to 15 Dodger games a year.

I grew up at Shea Stadium. I'm Cuban. Right. Yeah. Sure. But you know what? I don't like what they're doing to the American public. A family of four has to be.

to pay $50 to park. Or if they want to save the 50, they got to take a train like fucking Yugoslavians on the fort. Go suck my dick. That's why I'm a little, you know, I think the money situation of sports killed me that I just got, when I first moved here,

I go to Costco, and I get two tickets for the Dodgers, two hot dogs, two sodas, and two pretzels, and parking for $50 at Costco. Yeah. And you go there, and it's like a halfway empty game, and they'll upgrade you and me and you go.

We sit for, listen, I got four good innings. Right, right. I got four innings before I look, and you can go, we got to get the fuck out of here. Mets are in town next week, by the way. Yeah, that's great. You go there sit with those fucking knuckleheads, those fucking let's-go Mets at Dodger Stadium,

then you walk around with a concussion helmet the rest of your life with a ball because you want to sit with a bunch of New York and get the fucking out of it. I'll watch it for three innings, and I'm fucking happy. That's the other thing that people just became, I don't want to go to a fucking game and get beat up.

Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. I don't want to wear a med hat and get beat up or a Dodger hat. This guy goes with a Mexican chick. They're going to kill him one day. You know, fucking some peckerwoods hanging out with a Mexicana. You don't need that in your life. Either you go or she goes. You can't go together the Dodger games.

You're going to get killed. Yeah, maybe. I mean, they did that. I don't think they care about it if your team is not a rival. It's a joke, lady. It's a fucking joke. Cucksucker. Billy Hared.

I'm happy you came on here today. My pleasure. You're a gentleman in a scholar. After 40 fucking years, it's still a pleasure knowing you. Just to let your motherfuckers know, eight grade, I was 13, I'm 54. So I got to be knowing him 41 years. When he first went up there,

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It'll keep the sweat down. You're not even going to believe the things Miondi's done. It keeps your nutsack, nice and clean, nice and warm, and they smell beautiful. That's why this month they got the confetti,

they got the whole rainbow confetti print called Celebrate. Do me a favor. Go get the Celebrate pattern before they're all gone right now at meundees.com slash Joey and you'll save 20% off your first pair. You understand me?

Right now, meundies.com slash Joey. One more time, me on these.com slash Joey. Speaking of underwear, before you put your underwear I'm on, you want to be clean and refreshed. That's where Hello Tushy comes in. What's Hello Tushy, Joey?

Hello Tushy is a portable bidet that fits on your toilet to make your muffler smell and feel tremendous. You understand me? The summer's coming. You're walking around all day long. You get that humidity in your ass. You get that swamp ass. Next thing you know, you get hemorrhoids.

Next thing you'll get brown stains on your underwear. You're an adult. You don't need that shit. End it right now. Go to hellotushy.com right now. and press in it's hellotushy.com slash church all right and press in what

hello tushy.com slash church you don't got to press in dick joey you know why because hello tushy is the way to go I don't know if you know what a bidet is if you know what a bidet works it's like having a midget in the toilet and he just spits at your little asshole

you understand me you know what that's like just sitting there getting little water up your little monkey or your little asshole and if you're a guy you can sit back a little bit you pull the skin back and you can just wash off that helmet.

Sometimes you get like d'oos and little pieces of cotton in there and stuff like that. No more. No more. And ladies, you don't have to have that little sweaty monkey if you don't need to listen. As men, we like when your monkey's a little sweaty.

But if you don't like it, if you don't like that little onion, fuck it. Hello, Tushy comes in and they'll clean that monkey, that muffler, or that helmet spotless clean. And if you shift to the right or left, you get the creases in between your nut sack,

and that helps out too. because that's where the mold develops, and that's where the real problem's coming. So do yourself a favor. Look yourself in the mirror and say, from now on, I'm going to have a clean asshole. Why? Because hello, tushy.com's going to get it there.

And you know what? It doesn't stop now. Father's day's coming. You got those Sunday. You could order it and probably get it speed delivered to your dad by Sunday. By Sunday night, your dad's asshole would be tip-top magoo, shiny like it was when he first came out of your grandmother's monkey.

So do me a favor. Get a hellotushy.com right now and press in. Hellotushy.com slash church. Boom! And get 10% off delivered right to your house. Hello Tushy's a tremendous product. And if it breaks something, you got a 90-day money-back guarantee, which you'll never want. Once you get a hello-tushy.com a day, I guarantee you'll get them for every goddamn bathroom house.

Keep your asshole clean. It's a whole new year. It's a whole new set of priorities. Go to Hello Tushy. dot com right now. Beside that, I love you motherfuckers. Thank you. I want to thank Billy. I want to thank my man

Lisa. Don't forget. Tomorrow night, the ice house. Well, tonight when you get this, it's Thursday night, the ice house. And next Friday and Saturday governors up in Levy Town Cuckers, stay black. Uncle Joey loves you. See you next week.