The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #513 - Dean Delray

Episode Date: September 5, 2017

Dean Delray, Comedian, seen on "Maron," and the Host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church Five Four Club - Go To Fivefourclub.com and use Promo code JOEY for 50% of your first month's package plus a free pair of sunglasses.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 09/04/2017.


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Ogatz, that's free. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash church. It's September, Cocksuckers. Kick that Mulele. ain't nobody deaf here The Church of What's Happened now Dean Del Rizzy

Better yet Sugarless Dean Del Rizzi And my main Christ killer Lee Syatt Here we go Kick that Mulee 1981 A masterpiece

Church of what's happening now Greetings happy Labor Day I hope you had a great summer But guess what it's over cock suckers It's time to fucking buckle up the fucking belt and get to working because Christmas

is right around the corner no more fucking around I don't want to see nothing but assholes and elbows you understand me straight to the 26th

and then you can take some fucking time off Dean Doe Rizzy always one of the hardest working men in show business if he's not doing any trunk he's at the stand

he's at a Bruce Springsteen concerts he don't give a fuck he's interviewing the guy from the Grateful Dead at the studio this motherfucker don't stop and he's 52 years old so get your shit together. And my co-host,

the man of steel, the man of many fucking ideas, Mr. Lee Syatt. How are you doing, buddy? You know me, dog. Tip-top Magoo, had a nice weekend at the beach with the family. You always have good luck. You go to the beach, the hottest weekend of the year. I go when it's clouding cold. I did the fucking math.

It don't take a swami to be from salami. You know what I'm saying? I'm sitting in Ontario Improv. It's Friday night. I'm in between two shows. And KT. Alien News comes on at 10, whatever the fuck it is. 9 o'clock at which comes on a little earlier. One of those KTLA, one of those fucking Puerto Rican stations.

And I start watching and they show the weather that week before. And it's saying like it's 106 on Tuesday, but it's going to be between the 105 and 110 range. Fuck. So I looked at all this and I fucking sat there and I scratched my head and I go, listen, there's nothing I hate more than sitting around. and the worst weeks of the fucking year in this town are the week before Thanksgiving no no I'm wrong I'm sorry the week before the 4th of July

the week before Labor Day and the fucking week after Christmas you want to shoot yourself in this town yeah fucking zero emails zero emails nobody calls you basically wake up to do spots at the comedy store that's it nobody takes meetings nobody has auditions it drives you fucking nuts this is why this year

I hit the Portland on the 27th of December. And I do Tuesday and Wednesday, and I'm back home by Thursday, and New Year's could suck my dick. That fucking club's great, too. That club is great. Two days after Christmas, everybody's got money in their pockets.

Everybody's got to burn a home. Extra family in town, they want to get out of the house. They want to get out of the house. So, you know, you got to plan your way around there. Don't take a fucking genius. So the same thing. I said, that's it. This week here, I had jujitsu.

I had writing. I had a couple things. And I had like two spots. And I'm like, what am I going to do? Yeah. The school called me, I took Sunday night because there was a holiday Monday, I knew it was going to be fire. That was great. It doesn't take a genius to let you know that.

Yep. So I took Friday and Saturday, and Thursday I took the wipe down a fucking one of those beaches, or most of those fucking beaches. Right, Huntington. Huntington. Yeah. And we just went online. You know, I called two of my friends.

I go, where should I go? And they said, Bob, Bob. And one guy said, well, you know what? Huntington is more kid-oriented. So we went out of line, we got a hotel, and we looked at it, had like six pools for kids and all this shit. And we fucking got three nights down there, and we shot down there, and the kid didn't get sick. And it was just, I was fucking blown away by Huntington Beach. Yeah.

Like, I was blown away. I fucking flew over that shit Saturday night. Oh, yeah, you were saying, in a fucking helicopter. Oh, man. It fucking burr. You know, he hits me up. He says, hey. We're going to take an helicopter to San Diego, the gig.

It's four hours traffic, you know. So we're going to helicopter there. And I get to the thing, and then I realized, oh, he's going to be flying it. Oh, I'm not taking. It was just you and him? Well, three other people, too, was a six-seater. So his instructor was there, and then his instructor's girlfriend and buddy. and this thing was like a fucking

the limousine of helicopters and then there's burr whipped off we just fucking take off and I'm thinking well you know he's my great friend and he's one of the greatest comics but I've never seen a fly helicopter and none of my friends fly a helicopter

and it's my first time in a copter I'm like whoa Yeah I would have wanted the instructor to drive or fly I'd be like yeah maybe let him fly Oh no no I was into it Like Bruce Dickinson, man. Burr was flying us to the gig, you know, Maiden! And we were flying over those mansions in Huntington and Hermosa all the way down the coastline, man.

Just seeing the most incredible architecture and then all the fucking people with the beaches and shit. And we were there in 56 minutes. It goes 135 miles an hour. 56 minutes. And you came back at night. And then we came back at night, which was skis. Garrier. Fuck.

Yeah, because it had, the helicopter has these panoramic floor to ceiling windows. The doors are just windows. They're not like a door. So at night, it looks like you're just like leaning on to the sky. You can't see. I would have got sick. Oh, man. I was fucking, I actually loved it so much that I was up all night buzzing from it.

And then the show was fire. It's funny because when you told me what it was. happened, I could tell why Burr is so good as a comic. Yeah. You know, I talked to him seven years ago on a plane, and he was trying to learn Spanish. Yeah, yeah. He's always trying to entertain his mind with something else, and that's a sign of a comic that came to a stress level one day and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

I need to get a fucking hobby, and we all do it. Yeah. There's, there comes one day in your career, at the 16th, it's maybe at the 19-year mark, that you go, you know what, man? I can't have another conversation about fucking comedy again. Yeah, right. I got to get new friends. Yeah.

And you start dabbling outside because for the first 15 years, it's all you've lived around. Yeah. It's comics. You dated comics. You hung out with comics. You ate with comics. You ate shit, breathe. Yeah, you fucking eat shit breed it.

And then one day you go, I can't do this no more. Yeah. It's really like it hits you. You're like, I can't hear one more Kennison story. I can't hear one more of this story. And you find a hobby. to take your mind away from the pictures and the emails

and the people telling you that the podcast is great because if not you'll lose your fucking mind you really need something to ground you he chose driving a fucking helicopter that's almost as scary as doing stand-up like I said once you do stand-up and your mind you're like I can do anything you know I'm fucking helicopter

I'll give it a shot you know I can't believe it though you know it's so crazy like you got the foot pedal stuff, which operate, you know, it's all this kind of shit. So the, you know, the top

propeller is doing this and this. And then the back ones are doing this and your foot and your joystick. You know, it's like, it's fucking impressive, man. You know? It's, I mean, that shit is crazy. You know, like, when you look at the comics

that came before us, like the legends, like, uh, Richard Pryor and, uh, Carlin, Carlin, and the other guy that I like Lenny Bruce, their hobbies with drugs. Yep. And that was my hobby for a long time. And if you look at it, that's why I never fucking made it forward.

My hobbies were drugs. You consider it a hobby? It was a hobby. Yeah, yeah. Listen, I'm writing this book right now. I'm in chapters that now, as I'm writing it, I see why I was the way I was. I was telling me, when I was 19, if I didn't have coke, I didn't go out of the house at that night. I would like, no, I don't know.

Yeah, it's boring. It was boring. If there wasn't coke there, I wouldn't go there. Anybody going to have a package there? Yeah, at least I'm going to bring a little. Okay, let's go down there. At least we'll get something to get the party going. So what would you do at home?

I watched TV. I knew I was dead anyway. Just fry out? Yeah. So if I had to stay home, I accepted it by six, seven. Yeah. And sometimes you've got to call at 9.38. What are you doing?

Can you get an eight ball? Bam. I'm in business. I got a little. at least a half gram coming to me. Plus, he'll turn me onto a couple lines. I'll come back, jerk off, watch TV, and call it the night.

You know what I'm saying? But at least I got high. Do drug dealers ever, like, fake being out of it? Like, it doesn't make sense almost. Like, why would you be out of this? You know people, like, really want it. Well, people fucking sell out. People ran out of blow all the time.

That was brutal. On a Friday fucking night, at 3.30 in the morning. You went over to the night. We have no more. You're like, okay, let's get in the car. And you wanted a hunted guy number two? You always had three fucking drug dealers. Guy never had shitty stuff.

And then you got the guy, you had two guys. And Dean had two guys. Yep. So if us three ran out, if I ran out a blow, I had four options. One of you guys could still make a call. Yeah, yeah. So you never ran out of blow. We always knew one guy.

But this guy's down in Marina del Rey visiting his grandmother. He said we could come by. That's a 40-minute drive. Okay, fuck it. Let's say we're going to Marina Del Rey. With a 12-pack. Oh, he's in my ride. the fucking music blast and waiting for a cup to pull yo.

Totally. You know how like sometimes when there's a disaster or something gas prices will go up? You know when they like find bail? Like they have a big cocaine bust? Does that make prices go up in your area? Okay. In 85, it's funny because the narcos mentioned it, but I always knew about this. In 80, in 81, 80, it was 100.

Yeah, it was 100 straight up, 50 for a half gram. some motherfuckers charged you 60. Yeah. No brakes. 358 ball. Right. Some guys cut it and it was 90 and 45. Right.

But that's a nightmare because they either show up with 40 or 50. And now you lost an extra $5 because people love showing up with 40. I'll catch you next time. There ain't no next time. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? There ain't no next time. What do you do?

Drug dealing. It's drug dealing. But let me tell you what happened. That's interesting. And they mentioned on Narcos in 85. Bush or whoever was president Reagan Right Reagan declared war on him and he sent the troops to Colombia But it was too late by that time Carlos laid there was processing coke in Cuba

Yeah, but the big problem was cocaine was very easy to bring into the states The problem they were having was getting the ether into Columbia Because you need the wash alcohol for the wash that's what gave it that fucking When you get cocaine with the ether's right and you snort that much motherfucker that goes down in your throat Lysayat good googly-mugly And you couldn't wash it in America? Not with the dumb

At that time they were that process That was part of the process Gotcha So the biggest problem was getting the fucking ether Into Columbia So they started washing it with turpentine Yeah gasoline

That's the shit That's why I think people have Parkinson's now A lot of the people because of what they're washing it with You know If I can look at heavy blowheads like, you know, Prior and the dude from fucking family ties, you know, all these people do a lot of blow

and it seems like they got Parkinson's. And, you know, they say like gasoline, you know, aluminum. Because they cut it with aluminum too, to like hardiners. And aluminum, you know, they say like you use it in your deodorant, you can get, you know, Parkinson's disease and shit. It's fucking crazy, right? That's crazy.

They just mixing it with anything that works. You know what I mean? That's fucking, you know, jungle chemist. But when that should happen, from 85 to 86, cocaine prices were 18 to 2,000 ounce. Okay. And it was tremendous cocaine. But that means if you sold a whole bag intact,

you made $800 profit. How much were you making before? I mean, before you should make $1,000, you cut it a little bit, that would increase until about $1,500. You took a little bit for yourself and put it on your girlfriend's fucking monkey and ate it on the Friday. All right. That was the deal.

Cocaine was so fucking high. It was anywhere from 18-100 to 2000 because the coke that they had, they had the ether was expensive. The shit that tasted like cat piss was 14. And they re-rocked it so that took the cat-piss smell away. But the next day you had a headache that was fucking horrible. It was yellow too. It wasn't white. I like that fucking white shale,

albuloni shell looking shit where you chipped the rock and it was blueish. It looked like a bone. That shit is great. I remember reading this one thing where Ozzy said, yeah, man, I was, you know, hooked on blown. We went and played at Rock in Rio in Brazil.

And a gram was $10. And that was for the tourist. It was $5 for the locals for a gram. Man, I would have died if it was $10. You know what I mean? Fucking... Because I think that's why you don't die. You run out of money.

You know what I mean? And you run out of blow. Well, I'm just happy it got out of my life, man. Yeah, me too. I'm happy to disappear and never came back to catch me or even torment me. When I was done, I was done. Me too. Me too.

You know, and you were scared for the first six months. You're like, I might fucking get a package. Yeah, yeah. And when you're done, you're done. Yeah, you are. so we're really lucky on that. It's funny you mentioned Ozzy Osbourne. When I already had a band called The Blizzard,

because at one time he took a picture like in the 76th. Yeah. With Black Sabbath, but he had a white shirt, and it said the Blizzard of Oz on it. That's what you're saying, yeah. And I went nuts. When I saw that shirt, that made me a green light to snort with three hands. You know, Snowblind already had me all fucked up.

But now he was talking about it, and then clapped in store. song. Slow cocaine. And I went to see Nazareth. And Nazareth did a cover of it during their tour one year in 2008, it was fucking one of the best

versions of cocaine I ever heard. Acoustic. Wow. Acoustic, Nazareth. That guy's voice was incredible. For that jam, for that song, he was really fucking good that night.

I wasn't a big, big fan of that guy. Oh, I love that guy. I liked a telegram and telegraph, whatever the fuck it was. There was a couple jams he had that were all right, but after three or four songs he got on my fucking nerve. Hair of the dog, man. Hair of the dog.

It was a popular fucking album. Yeah. You know, we grew up around good music, we were very fortunate. Even the bad bands had three or four good fucking jams, you know? Yeah. I still remember thinking that, fuck, a year ago, I was listening to the wall,

and now I'm listening to Hall of Notes. I can't go for that. Yeah, yeah, right? And I'm enjoying it. I can't lie to you, you know. I was listening to REO Speedway. Yeah, that's a great out. That one day did an 81, whatever.

That's a great out. High infidelity. High infidelity. You know, I still listen to Greg Kinn. If I hear Jeopardy, or the other one, I'd fucking go nuts. What a sweetheart of a guy. That guy's a fucking soldier. I was supposed to do this, uh, Cobbs.

Yeah. And I got a radio request to do Greg Kinn. I'm looking at the name and I'm like, nah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I call up, and I go listen before the interview you even starts. Are you the guy? in 1982 and he goes Yup and I go let me tell you something

I went to see you Yeah I forget who he opened for He opened like for the go-go's or something Yeah right It was somebody like that effect But he had two jams that were Tremendous That guy's fucking great

I had him on a year ago He was playing the whiskey I interviewed him at the hotel For two hours Fucking stories galore Lots of blow Told great blow stories Then I went to the whiskey

And watched him His son's in the band And they were fucking and tearing it up. Where were you? When I needed you. And he got all that big money again when fucking, what's his name? I lost on Jeopardy.

You know, Al Yard Al did his song and he got a big bump again in cash. And he got divorced and divorced. But fuck, he's out there doing it still. He was that song, all those songs. Yeah, yeah. Fucking had me. What did I fucking hear today? I was like, Jesus, this still rings over 20 years.

Human League. Oh, yeah. Don't you want me, baby. Oh, I love that one. I fucking, every time I hear that song, two minutes sing, I get goosebumps, and no matter what I'm thinking about or what I'm doing, I think of a certain time in my life at night

where I was at a club in the city. Yeah. I just, I didn't graduate in high school, all my friends had. I was supposed to graduate when I dropped out. And we're all in the city, we're all in a lude. And this was a club that was three floors. And every floor was different.

So the first floor was like rock music. Right. The second floor was like punk music. And the third floor was disco. Yeah. Okay, like where you went up to dance. And to get Mac down, you had to go down a sliding pond. Wow.

So it was a pretty cool. They had matches on the side because people had got. fucked up. It was called like the Fun House. Yeah. All right, but Donnie used to always go there and sing in in 83 and 82. There was a couple places she would go to. This was one of them. And I didn't, listen

guys, I'm not telling you this story because I hung out at this place. We had just graduated high school. I was making a ton of money robbing on the street. Robbins, drug dealers, everybody was a drug deal. At least I had would come to me when they go, can I talk to you for a second? My brother just called me, he's got a kilo of coconut house. You know,

anybody who wants it. No, I don't. And guess what I did in two days? Rob Lee's her brother's house. Because they didn't know what they were doing. They put it under the bed and go get a sandwich and leave the back window open. That's how it was, Lee.

Everybody said, wait a second. They went home, they did the math, and they said, I could do that. Yeah. I could sell Coke. Right. Wait a second. All I got to do is go to a comedy store with an ounce

and bag it up and sell it for $100 bucks and unload it. I could sit there all nights and just sell it to comics. Not one cop You go to the comedy store back in the 80s You would sell an ounce of night My buddy sold blow At the store in the 80s And that's how I started hanging there

He'd be like we gotta stop here And we'd pop in And my other buddy was dating the head waitress And I'd be watching comedy in the main room And he'd go I'm done And then we'd just drink there all night Just fucking coked up drinking Stay at that riot house next door

For like $87 up all night drinking fucking rum and doing sacks of booho at the store, man, in the 80s. That's crazy. I know, right? Guys in prison right now. Yeah, I was going to say, how many people are in prison then? Yeah. Just for, like, oh, my buddy gas, so I started selling him Coke, and it just sort of happened.

Well, you know, man, as when anything else, things get sloppy. Yeah. Especially if you start doing the powder. Like, if you're a businessman, then you're like, I just move it. which means you're getting the kilos for 16-5, you're chopping them up and you're giving them to Lee, and Lee gives you 28,000 per. Yeah.

That's it. That's what you do. Nobody knows nothing. And then once you get Lee, you get another guy like Lee. And you get three leaves, four leaves, five leaves, six leaves, and guess what, Lee, he's making $60,000 a month, and he doesn't even have to talk to anybody. His only fear is you getting arrested and ratting.

Yeah. And that's what happens. You're cool. You have Dean. Dean's a musician. Dean goes out every night. You give Dean the ounce of grams already cut up and measured. You give Dean 28 and Dean gives you back $1,500.

And Dean will come over four nights a week and keep you in pork chops and chocolate cake for the rest of your fucking life. Again, now you're going to get four deans. How much does Dean make? Don't worry about what Dean makes. Dean makes 28. take away 15,300. Dean's not going to make $1,300 because he needs three of those grams

to sell that Coke. Dean is a businessman. Dean needs a couple grams for himself. He's going to sell a gram to a girl, bring a home rob and get his dick suck and put it on her way. It's a fucking lifestyle. You go to a place, everybody at that place knows you. As soon as somebody comes up to you and says,

hey, my friend wants to buy two ounces of blow, you go home, you light everything on fire, You throw away your fucking scale And you don't know nothing for a month You disconnect all your numbers And you start all over again in six months What does that? What does a lifestyle mean? What do you mean it's a lifestyle?

Well you know what? Do those dealers on the low level? They become like these small-minded rock stars Where they're got so many people Like they love the attention You know like they're nobody And then all of a sudden they're like I go in this bar everybody wants to talk to me and they get addicted to that, you know?

That fucking, that thing of like, he's here! I still talk to two of my ex-drug dealers and I've been clean from cocaine nine years. I talked to two out of the three of them that I had. I had four. I still talked to two out of the four. The one guy is a smart motherfucker. And he always was.

He always was. This day one, that's why I hooked up with him. I liked what he did. He wasn't reckless. He was a boozer. Yeah. But he wouldn't answer the phone those two days. He's one of those guys.

Yep. That's two days. And after a day, I knew that he was fucked up on the couch like Denzel. He would get fucked up by Denzel. He's black. And a man on fire. A man on fire. So I would knock on the door.

I would knock on the door. And he kind of get up and ask me what I was doing it. And I go, come on, dog. I love you. What I tell you, don't come over here when I don't answer the fucking phone. What do you want, motherfucker? Come on. two grams. You got my money.

I'm 10 short. See, you come over here when I'm fucked up trying to relax and shit. Ten short. 10 short. Yeah. But he always gave it to me. And then I had the Armenian guy. And I always talk to him because he's got kids. Yeah. And we cross

paths now all the time. So we talk on the slide. He's still dealing? Yes. Wow, that's hot. Tremendous. Yeah. But he has his own little Armenian crew. Yeah. He gets it from his little Armenian car drug lords over there in Glendale. Yeah.

And he just sells to Armenians. He says he doesn't even go over the hill anymore. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't go to El Camadre no more. Yeah. But he's got a nice car. He's got nice clothes. He goes away on the weekends.

You know, he shares the kids with his wife. Yeah. So when he goes, he goes. He's another guy. He starts on Friday. And he'll call me on Sunday and go, I was just thinking about you, because I saw the joke on Showtime about it.

Yeah, yeah. I used to have a whole bit about him. Because I had been here for probably 10 years. No, no, I'm lying to you. I got here in 97. I met those cats in about 99. And before that, I had pussies for drug dealers. Oh.

Oh, I had this white dude they called White Lightning. White Lightning. He was a half a fag. Terrible. And I had this other dude who always fucking complained. He was a Jew. And Jesus Christ, you know, it was always. He said a fucking deal.

He lived right in Hollywood by the guitar center. Oh, yeah. And there was always a problem. And he was from New York, and he was cool. But I had to say something to him one day. Like, brother, you're a co-dealer. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Why do you get mad when we fucking call you? It was always a bad time. And when I get what people who would buy from him, they'd always come to me and go, what's his problem? I go, I don't know. You introduced me to him. Yeah.

I don't know what his fucking problem is like it. He makes you feel bad. What are you calling me for? Why are you calling me a four in the afternoon? Why are you calling me a one in the afternoon? Why are you calling me at 8.30? Because we want to buy fucking blow. Yeah.

So I got rid of that fucking guy. I had nobody. Fucking white lady. And then I met the brothers up by the Martel cartel. Yeah. I met them through white lightning as a matter of fact. White lightning took me over the one day and said, listen, I'm going out of commission for a few weeks. I'm going on the ground.

Hang out with the Martel cartel. And it was two of the biggest, blackest, ugliest motherfuckers you saw in you. life. Yeah. And the first couple times I went over there it wasn't no love between us.

They would search me and shit. Oh, yeah. And make me feel fucked up. Yeah, you're wearing a while. No, they would go, you're coming over here telling us you're Cuban and shit.

You're really one of those mafia motherfucking informants and shit. You saw on there you need it and shit. And they would bust my balls. And I went over there about four or five times. And then I went over there six times and they were all stitched up.

Yeah. Including the white dude. They were stitched up. And I had cash. I said, I'm buying the coke. I got to ask you guys a question. What the fuck happened to you guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they said, man, these black motherfuckers came over here the other day and fucking tied us up and took our shit. Wow. So we started going back and forth. At the time, I had found the gun. I had found the gun. I found a gun. And I lived in

that. Sure. We'll just skip over that. And I lived at the Ralphie Mae building. Yeah, oh yeah, over there. Yeah, that's where my crew lives. Steve Henry, Lucas Hurl. That whole building? Yeah.

Behind Elcomadre? Oh, no. What's the one you lived over there by the one by the hostel? Oh, yeah, yeah. I lived there. This was way before the hostel. Oh, okay. The hostel was when I stayed there when it was a hotel.

Right. And then I moved by the hostel. Right. In 2000. In that apartment building. In August of 2000. Right. With my girlfriend at the time.

But before that, what were you talking about, Ralphie Mae? Well, yeah, I thought he lived in there, too. No, he lived on. We all lived on Schrader. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it was Schrader. Yep. Isn't Schrader next, the guitar center is Shrader?

That's like Orange. Vista. You got Vista, Sierra Bonita, The Kurson and whatever that street is there. Right, right, right. There were four streets. Those are, guys, if you don't know Hollywood, those four little streets there,

if you live in between that, your life is complete. You got a gym, you got Justin's Fortune's gym, you got that Italian place that makes pizzas on the corner. You got a guitar center. You got Guitar Center, which is a fucking listen. You don't know what fun is till you go to the guitar center. Oh, I love it.

Watching fools in there? Yeah. Or heavy metalists go. in there with tight pants. I always say if you want to pick up on a chick, just go in there because the dumbass boyfriend brings him in there, and the boyfriend's just playing in his own world.

And the girl's just like, oh, God, you're never going to be in a band. And you just roll up and go, hey, you want to get lunch and just move on. Take them right to the sunset grill. Right there. What Don Henley sang about. Yep. That's a fucking crazy neighborhood there. But that's,

that building there. Yeah. Used to be fucking hell. Yeah. Used to be. How did we start talking about that building? Oh, no. Oh, we were talking about those guys got robbed. Yeah, they got robbed.

So I found the gun in that building. Oh, yeah. And there was a chick that lived in the building that you could go to a house. God rest of the soul, she just died about six months ago. So I took the bathroom mirror off, the one that stayed on the wall. Yeah.

And it had a medicine cabinet. I put the gun back there, and I never used it. I wiped my prince off it. I just saved her back there for a rainy day. Yeah. And fucking, I found my three guns in that building. Really? Yeah, it was tremendous.

Wow. Anyway. I hate to be rude, but is that how she died by leaving guns over on her building? She died by a different gun, alcoholism. So I went over there, and I like these black dudes. Yeah. I like black people. You know what I don't want to see him get beat up and jumped.

So I went over there next day and I go, listen. I don't know you, you don't know me, but here. How do you fuck do you people sell drugs? I ain't got a gag around this, motherfucker. You know, that's 101. Yeah, there's a drop right here. I get two black guys on the white one. Let the white guy hold the fucking peace.

Yep. That's it. Anything happens is a white guy shooting. You're fucking, you got to, but they had the whole security system was bad. Yeah. I'm like, you gotta close that door and have them buzz you in. They had the thing that you walk in. I go, close that door. Well, Pete, I don't give a fuck with people.

Like, you guys want to sell blown, be successful. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'd rather make the DEA jump over the fence Than just walk in. Yeah. That extra two minutes, one of them getting caught on the bob wire. Flusch.

That saves me. That gives me a flush. Even though they shut the water off. Yeah. When they rage you, you know that, right? Yeah. Before they raid you, they shut the water off. Half hour before they rage you.

That's how you know you're getting raided. Yeah. You turn on the water and there's no water. You better take that blow and light it on fire. If you're like a big guy, do you have someone like just doing the water every 24? 20 minutes? What do you mean?

To check it as you were getting rated. No, in the morning, because they're going to rage at 6 in the morning to catch you off guard. You wake up to piss. That's true. Yeah, they catch you early in the morning, so you're not going to wake up. They know you wake up at 9. So they'll shut the water off at a quarter of the fucking 6 and lay the warrant on you. 6 o'clock they're knocking on your fucking door.

That's scary. And then the Armenian, I never like, I swear to God, I was a Coke fiend. Yeah. And I lived on Vista with Josh Wolf. Yeah. And I would detect. El Compadre. Oh, yeah.

Detested. You don't like it? At that time. Oh, okay. There was something about it that wouldn't make me go in there. The truth of the matter was, I didn't want to see my uncle.

Yeah. When my uncle first, when I came out here in, like, 75, my uncle played the Congress at a Mexican restaurant, and he took me there both of the nights I was in town with him, and they gave me salsa,

and I started crying and shit. That was like seven, dog. Yeah, yeah. They gave me like the hottest salsa they had with jalapeno juice and shit in it. Talking with you? Yeah, it went through my skin. I think I touched my dick.

I cried for like four days. But I thought it was El Camadjean. I'd go, what if I go in there? He's playing the Congress. I'm going to hit him in there with a bottle. And then people kept telling me, dog, there's a dude. And there's a good fucking blow. And he gets coked up.

He just gives you like a gram and a half for 30 bucks. And he's Armenian. And I went in there one day, and boom, there he was. And I started talking to him, and I liked this guy. He was my type of drug deal. He would get to fist fights on El Campadre. Wow. And say funny things to people.

Fuck you. One of the funniest things I ever heard him say was, what's the expression when somebody throws you out of their club? 86. When he was talking to this dude named Eric, Eric kept busting his balls about something, that the Coke, and he goes, listen, you know what? From now on, you're 86 from me.

Yeah, from me. You're 86 from me. You're 86 from me. You're 86 from me. Buddy, you're 86 from me. Gacked up one night to the gills with some broads. He's telling him he's going back to school on Monday. I never laugh so hard in my life.

And these three white chicks bought the story, hook, line, and sinker. I'm on the floor fucking rolling. Yeah. I loved him. When I, from the first year, I did business with him, it was hilarious. If I even thought about getting a package, and I looked at my clock, and it was 320, I would call that number. And my brother, he would answer it and go, I'm in your neighborhood. And I go, no, you're not.

Yeah, yeah. And he goes, yes, come downstairs. I was just thinking about you. So for six months, I would call him at all hours and night, and he would hit me with the, I was just thinking about you. Oh, man. I hadn't heard from you, you know, that type of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dog, I had to write a bit. He was solid. Yeah. I had never had a drug deal like that. I could call him at quarter to five in the morning, and he would say, are you home? Yes. Give me 15 minutes. Wow. I love that.

When he was fucking downstairs, he'd beat me. I had a beeper in those days. I'd run down, I'd get the powder from him. I could front from him. He was tremendous. That's great. And my showtime thing, El Pajaso, that whole three-minute bit is about him. So he puts it on with his family, his mother, his father. And also I'm saying this, and he turned the volleyball more.

Oh, shit. He was all excited at first. He kept saying, look, it's my friend. He's talking about me. he's talking about me and I'm up there saying yeah he's got the best Coke he rides a bicycle with a missing pedal

because he is he's Armenian and he's fucking a nut you don't give a fuck Jack but those are my two favorite drug dealers and I still have contact with them God bless you oh my God do you send each other like a birthday card to something

like what do you do? Yeah me and the black dude call each other for all the holidays so I'm tight with his mother. His mother's jovel with this. It's hilarious. So whenever he's by his mother's house, he puts his mother on the phone.

I never, listen, besides being my drug dealer, he was a friend as much. And I know a lot of people at home don't do drugs and don't understand where I'm coming from. He was my friend because I had an addiction

and he knew it. He didn't help create it. I couldn't blame him, but I met him. I already had the problem. He'd always keep me alive. Yeah. Like even when I owe them hundreds and I go to his house for the bullshit story,

I'd bring like a t-shirt. And I had from the store, he'd go, dog, clean out the fucking grinder, whatever's in there as yours. And I would clean it out and get three quarters of a gram and zip out of there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, wow, you know. And he always took care of me. And then when I started getting money, dog, I started giving them hats with $500.

Yeah. Every time he'd see me, I'd give him $500 because I owed him in excess of $2,000. I had them all the way up there. Wow. Was it weird when you saw them, like, getting, like, fancy stuff. Like if you saw a drug deal, look at a new car, you're like, fuck, I paid for that car.

He still doesn't have a car. I never even thought of that stuff. He Uber's everywhere. I would just ride in the cars with him. Before that, he took cabs everywhere. Yeah. He takes cabs. He has a white girl from the driving places.

He had a little strip club going for a while, like three or four white strippers that you could tell their dad's beat them up, one was missing a two years. You laughed. They lived up at the Hollywood Hills. Yeah. I would have to go, like, to, uh, It's not a funny situation.

It's funny how you describe it. Like the second year I was dealing with him, he moved out of the Martel cartel because the one black dude, the bigger guy got a Russian girlfriend. And he went to war with the Russian girlfriend. He moved her in. So he broke away from the Martel cartel. I went with him. I took his back.

He was rogue. And he moved with these three fucking strippers from the valley. Wow. Like some dirty fucking strip club up here in Van Nuys or something. Yeah. There's some dirty ones out there, right? I never been up there. And there was two sisters.

I never been in them, but I'll drop by them. And you're just like, look at those places. On Van Nuys Boulevard? Yeah. Where? Because I know the car dealers and shit. Like they're way out there, I think. Yeah, they're way out there.

And then if you take like a left into the industrial area over there, there's like two, three in the industrial area. You're like, look at these strip joint. Like I was going over there to interview a guy that builds amplifiers. And he goes, you see this strip joint? There's fucking hundreds of people here. night and it's just in this like you know like warehouse like

what's the one next to the pigly wiggly the hoggy woggy yeah no no no up in fucking the heart of van eyes or some bad neighborhood recita it's good barbecue but that's a bad strip club I shot a movie in yeah hoggly wogglewoods

no pigly wiggily wiggily one of those fucking things I don't know but there's weird strip joints all over there and then you have the one by here that I hear is kind of crazy but I don't know But I know, like, John Evan had a jih Tzu school in North Hollywood. You know the part of North Hollywood? You never know that.

Oh, yeah. Oh, behind like... Yeah, where they shot Sons of Anarchy and shit like that. Yeah, over there, yeah. It's just scary up there. Yeah, yeah. He had a jitza school back there, and that night, there was a strip club that had a valet in front of it.

Yeah. This neighborhood's a fucking dump. Oh, yeah. But I bet you go up there for 200. They'll give you a fucking chlamydia. Oh, yeah. Suck your dick. Cheap of it.

that. Don't have you scratching for a week. Fuck, yeah, dude. Those joints are weird out there, man. Whenever I drive around out there in the valley, like behind the Burbank Airport, or behind the, what's the big Ford dealer over there off of Van Nuys? They're like a famous one. I forget what they're called. They're famous Ford.

The side streets there, man, is gangster. I think like six years. ago, Van Nuys had the murder capital of all of Southern California. Just that area, man. It was like wars going on. It's scary up there. Yeah, absolutely. It's definitely scary up there at night. Somebody told me they go, oh yeah, well, it's starting... Remember the little guy on fire on the

park bench on Van Nuys Boulevard? About three years ago. Yeah, right around Christmas. A guy was sleeping, waiting for the bus. You're out of here. Somebody poured gasoline and lit him on fire up there. Have you guys ever driven around the streets around L.A.X? Oh, that shit's crazy, too. That is crazy. There's weird strip joints around there, too. There's probably, oh yeah, there's probably definitely strip joints.

But when I was in Uber for two weeks once, and like that, we think there's a lot of people living in vans around here. There's like blocks and blocks of people in tents. Yeah. And just, it's creepy. Why do they put, like, all right, see, you fly in L.A. You're here for business or you're here for a two-day stay. Yeah.

You check into the hotel. you call your wife, you tell the kids to go to bed, and then you creep over to one of those dirty strip club at the airport. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. They wiped out all those bums, Lee. Somebody bought that property.

Oh, you know who bought it? The L.A. airport. L.A.X. bought it, and there's, like, thousands of homeless over there, sleeping in cars and everything, and they just wiped them all out, said, you're out of here because they're going to make more parking over there,

like off-site, parking. And man, I was watching, show it on the news. There's fucking thousands of people over there. And that's, and I, like, it, it's obviously weird to see, and it makes you uncomfortable sometimes, but I've never been homeless. And then,

I don't like when they do that. When they go in and they, like, destroy the tents. Oh, yeah. Throw it away. Oh, yeah. And go with, like, with, like, forthclifts and just destroy people. Yeah, I don't like that. That's fucking crazy. What other options, like, I mean, you're trying to, oh, yeah, no, I get that. You're trying to beat a fucking city. You know,

what I was trying to tell you before. When you're a child, and, you know, it's the same way you look at New York. Yeah. It's the same way you look at New York when I take you, I pick you up at Kennedy and I take you to, let's say it was 1985, I'd take you to the Bronx.

Yeah. And really shocked the fuck out of you. After a minute, you're like, where's Times Square? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. I'm like, they're no Statue of Liberty in my world, you know what I'm saying?

Well, when we're growing up on the East Coast, I don't know how we felt, but I saw beaches and palm trees and people roller skating down the path or riding a bicycle down the path. Surfing. So surfing, you know, you saw Disneyland, but basically this is what you see when you're growing up in Jersey. Yeah. This is what you think of. So finally, when I was like seven, I came out here. and my uncle lived in Glendale at the time in a new residential area that they were just building there

and he still was at the same place 40 fucking years later but it looked different but for some reason he worked towards the beach so the three or four days I was here I was down by the beach and I got to see the beach from afar

and he would drive on Pacific Coast Highway and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Okay, flat And this is, I came two times While I was a kid Fast forward to 84 The Olympics were going to be here Oh yeah

I came back again This time I went to his bar On Washington Boulevard Right after Korea Turn Oh, all right Like towards downtown

Yeah You make a left on that Washington Boulevard You hit the courtroom You hit the downtown courthouse It's shit like this Yeah Yeah

That is a horrible part of town Totally. So at that time, I come out of here in 84, and I still had that vision of Los Angeles. And the beaches and, you know, that path, the people riding the bicycle and girls running with bikinis, you know. But now I'm watching the inner guts of Los Angeles. Yeah.

Which is Washington Boulevard, down the block from Korea Town, which in 1984 was basically a fucking dump. Yeah, absolutely. He was surrounded by a bunch of places where you chopped up cars. he just had a Mexican restaurant or Mexican bar with a little restaurant and people that were illegal could go in there and pay for a $7

Budweiser but nobody bawled him he paid the cops off not to come in so he charged seven of Budwee you know those Budweiser those Mexicans drinks my uncle got two Mercedes Benz his cars paying his house is paid off $7 Budwisers in 84 but no my point is that

I saw that part of L.A. I remember looking in the paper and asking around, how do we get to this place? They're like, you got to take two buses, and then you have to, and I'm like, fuck this place. First of all, this place looks like a bomb. It's like if I bring you to L.A. now,

and the first thing I'd do is go on Burbank Boulevard, take you by Denny's in Lancasham, and then go fuck in that direction. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you see all those old buildings. Like by your old studio. Yeah, like, you're like, yes, my old, old, no, no, no, not that part of Lancashire.

Right. I'm talking the other side of Burbank Boulevard. Oh. Don't make a left there. Go east. Right. That place looks like it's 1954. Yeah.

From there, straight to Victory Boulevard. Right. It looks like 1954. And I still think this, and it's probably just because of the desert. But it looks dirty. Like, especially, like, West L.A. Oh, fuck, God. It is filthy.

It is filthy. It's just, it's airplane, fucking. exhaust and car exhaust and human dirt and everything out there, man, nothing's been sprayed down. Do you remember the first time someone explained to you what the smog was and showed you? I do.

It was fucking gross. It's still gross when you notice it sometimes. First time I saw it was on a plane. You see it when you land on L.A.X. 5 out of 10 times. If you land on the right day, you're like, Jesus Christ. And you know what? Then you look straight ahead and you say I'm going to

die? And you accept it. what the fuck it is. That's it. That's the truth. It doesn't matter. Listen, any metropolitan city you go to, you're inhaling something bad. I went down to the ocean the other day.

Jump in the ocean, come out, go back to the room and smell your arm. You know what you smell like? You smell like 2,000 years of piss sperm. Yeah. Dead bodies. Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

God knows what's in that fucking ocean. Old Taco Bell. I fucking getting that thing. I boiled myself in that fucking shower. That kid, I boiled her. I took the sand out. I still got a rash on my foot. You know, the fucking beaches.

There's no cold showers out there. You don't know what you're doing no more. Just come Jing. Oh, my God. You're sending missiles into the fucking Pacific Ocean. Yeah, yeah. How long until that missile juice comes floating into the Pacific? And, you know, you go eat sushi and that's what you're eating.

Oh, the old nuclear stuff from the Japan meltdown. That's out there right now. Nothing that you're eating is fucking safe anymore. No, nothing. I don't care if you're growing at your house. somewhere along the line there's some form whether it's old dirt it's fucking a nightmare

right now it really fucking is water and there's bottle water that they've made billions there's three fat Jews somewhere in Israel yeah doing high fives right now surrounded with fucking $50 bells going they believe they're worth this

same guys that sold those fake eclips glasses their eyes are fried these are real You just put them all like, I'm working at the sun. I bought them on the street corner. These are all right. Your fucking eyes are gone. We live in strange fucking world now, man.

Yeah, right. It really fucking is a strange world. But you know what, man? I watch a Dean Del Rizzy. And like I said, you know, I think about 10 years ago, I made a constant decision to tell people to go fuck themselves when they were calling me on the phone. Yeah.

And all they would do is bitch. Oh, fine. I had a bunch of people in my life that every fucking week I had to put them together because this game wasn't fair to them. And why it was fair to them, and I got movies,

and it wasn't fair to me. And one day I just started telling these people go fuck themselves. Yeah. And you know what? The word got out. Don't even bother him with that topic because he's not going to fucking do nothing.

And nobody bothers me no more. Yeah. And from time to time, I bump into different comedians that they have no idea what they have going on, so they bitch. They have no idea that I'd rather have them have a journey.

They're at a TV show at ABC when they don't know what they're doing. They lose that show now. You float around for a while and then you're like what the fuck. Yeah. You know, everything comes at the right fucking time. You're one of those guys that's just relentless.

Yeah. And, you know, I tip my hat to you type of guys. You know, I hear you on any trunk. You're all over the place. You're doing spots at the stand. You know, you jump on a fucking plane to do spots. Yeah. I have people that won't fucking get in the car to do a spot and we'll call you

Lee and tell you everything that's wrong with life, but this guy's driving down to LAX, sitting and rode 22D next to three escape cons from fucking Detroit to the handcuffed next to a fucking Marshall. He'll take his hat, he'll put his little iPad on, he'll go

to sleep. Three days he'll crash on his friend's house, two days of Airbnb. One night he won't get a hotel to 1115, because that's when he's an $8.00 hotel drops to $28.50. He's got to 12 o'clock, and then he gets a free buffet. Dean Del Rizzi finds a way. You know what I'm saying? And I tip my hat off to him, because if I was single now without a child,

I'd be banging that out with you. Yeah, yeah. You'd be saying, fuck you, Joey. I'm out nine weeks. Oh, fuck you. I'm staying out of the extra week, bitch. Yeah, yeah. It's wintertime.

I'm sleeping in a shelter. I'm paying my dues, motherfucker. You know, like, I'm always super positive. And then finally, a couple weeks ago, I just snapped. This guy was just, like, talking shit. Like, yeah, man, I mean, you know, fucking it's hard, man. You know, you got a fucking minute. And I was like, dude, you're 26.

I'm 51. I got diabetes evicted from my apartment and ran over on my motorcycle. I'll fucking tell you hard, dude. Try doing it a 51 with fucking broke ribs and no apartment. You know what I mean? Like, what? I'm out of an apartment. You know what I'm saying? That's fucking hard. At 26,

I'll eat dirt, whatever. You know what I mean? It's just whatever. It's fucking crazy. People just want shit for free. Or they don't want to do the work. Nope. And I knew when I got here that I was not worthy of walking these streets. Mitchie, you go to the comedy store some time and go,

who fucking passed this fucking lunatic? And people go, I don't know. Mitchie must have been on pills. I was one of those guys. Like, I was one of those guys that I called her off guard. She started giving me spots, and people asking, like, why does he get spots? Yeah.

Fucking irrated, these fucking fatty's up there sweating up a storm. You could smell the coke coming out of his paws and shit. Yeah. But I just kept showing up down there. That's it. When I got here, I was long in the teeth, man. Yeah, me too. I was long in the fucking tooth.

Yeah, right. I'm my manager. Would get people to come see me and they go, what are you fucking crazy? He's 150 fucking years old. I always say if you want to get a Comedy Central deal, just be on a showcase with me. Because I'll murder, and they'll be like, he's 50. And then they'll just grab somebody else.

It's like 24. Yeah, I got here when I was 34, and I was already fucking old. Yeah. Like, you're already. that fucking WB. Once you pass to WB, like that age, what's the other one, WB, and there's the other one where kid shows are on?

Oh, Nickelodeonion. No. Oh. Disney? No. Same thing as WB only... TBS? No, no.

Jesus Christ, guys. Oh, no. There's another one that has those type of shows. CTS, it's Channel 11. Channel 11. Channel? Not Fox. It's a different.

and it doesn't matter. Right. Once you're past that Buffy group at the time, you were dead. And they told you to your face. Like, you were dead. Like, it's never going to happen to you. And then I'm like, wait a second.

What the fuck are you kidding? Tool time was a thousand years old. And so was the fat dude with glasses from Ohio. Yeah. From Cleveland. These motherfuckers were all fucking long. Tim Allen and Drew Carey. Everyone was all fucking long.

All the guys I love were like, like, you talk about. The K. Yeah. Comneys, you know. Universal. Comedy is no age limit. You can talk and you can think and you have emotion and you have an opinion and you can put them all together and make logic fucking comedy.

It never goes away. DeLean and I was just talking about it last night. Like, he was like, dude, you've gotten somewhere in like seven and a half years. And it's mostly because this world we live in now, podcasting and YouTube and Instagram and all that, you can make your own world. At least I add, how many people in the, last two years did you have his clients that you sat with them broke it down for them and

after three weeks they didn't do it at all or they fell apart at the same's the majority of them i mean we've had conversations the majority people not even clients out of jogging the best compliment i ever got was from leagos i'm even told paula joie jose jose is fucking crazy i think he's crazy but jesus christ he's not he's there we're here this is what we do i don't know no knows to do yeah i see you tweeting i see you you you know the great paul mooney once said to to entertain you have to be entertained so two or three nights a week you go to fucking shows yeah you know that's very important yep you know i smoke pot and zone out in youtube on all old live performance yeah yeah yeah you know sit there and watch rainbow with the one singer yeah you know youtube has rare fucking shit love it

and i go through cycles all year long i go through different cycles i go from letton skinned to Eric Clapton to Zep like now I'm back I haven't been on Zep on about a year Oh I'm back there too No I have not been there Oh yeah I have not been there

I got into the Bon Scott thing for about two weeks Yeah Just Bond Scott all the videos by Bon Scott Poor bastard He couldn't even lip sink he was so bad No I think he just didn't want to Yeah he said fuck this I'm the real deal Yeah he would stand there

He was 10 years old and everybody He's crazy. And just fucking lit. There's a guy long in the tooth, man. Long in the tooth. Around young fucking kids. It's funny. I was listening to Eddie Trunk and that crew the other day.

And they were talking about some interesting shit that eventually, you know, Guns and Roses, who was the most popular band on the road. Yeah. Yep. Most money this year. Most money this year. I guess they'll stop touring, like this is it. This is the last leg, like they're going back to New York in November.

Yeah, they're doing the fucking forum, six nights. Yeah. So now they're going to finish, and then Axel's going to go on tour with ACDC. Well, that's the rumor. We'll see. You know what I mean? Nobody knows what ACDC is going to do right now. That's the rumor, but did you see Brian Johnson saying with the muse last week?

No. Yeah, so, and Eddie Trunk and I were talking about, we feel like, He was playing his card without saying ACDC fired me. They're like, well, his hearings out, he can't do it. And he was like, basically went out and sang with this band The Muse. He did Back in Black and it killed. And that's his way of saying, nah, man. Without saying it, he's like, I'm fine.

I'm over here. So now it's put a ripple, I think, in the ACDC camp, because he didn't go away quiet, you know? He sang Back in Black, it killed it. fucking Europe last week. I gotta be honest with it. Yeah. Like I said,

once I heard for those who were about to rock, that was when I put the ACDC casket down. I could lie to you and tell you. I think years later, I like thunderstruck. Yeah. They put it in the longest yard,

but I was done with ACDC. I hear something off highway to hell. I hear something off power range or something. Oh, yeah. It brings a tear to mind. I can't lie. on anybody, but you really got me watching him again. And I finally made the conclusion.

I told you on one of the podcasts, I finally made the conclusion that I did not like him. And I thought about it. I think he was great. And he sold me in 81. Right. I don't know, 80 and 81, both of those times, he sold me. You know, back in black today is almost as popular. as it was when it was released it's crazy it's like thriller and that's fucking crazy but back and black and thriller

i hear put a drink on me yeah yeah i have a drink on me i hear back and black yep and hell's bells twice a week shook me all night long every fucking week on serious stations whether it's fucking ozies bone yard or hair nation i hear both of those fucking songs but it's popular now you have to go back to summer of 80 when they released that every party you go to that album was on and it went on

till fucking something else got popular and then that was a year later you know so I remember when that album came out I couldn't wait for it to go away. Yeah. Like I just couldn't wait. It was like I was growing up in like an argument camp like it was Van Halen now then once ACDC came back

Fuck you Van Halen Van Halen came out with Van Halen too It was a bouncer back and forth That people don't understand I had the great Eddie Bravo once in a green room And he was telling me how his neighborhood struggle Was all the bands against him and his brother For having Kiss albums

Oh yeah So whatever Kiss came out with a new arm He would have to sneak it into the neighborhood Under his shirt You know and go home and throw it under his bed Like he was a communist And then later on, when all the kids went inside, he would put it on in his room with earphones on, you know, shit like that. Love gun.

The shit that we do for the love of our music. It's crazy. I'll tell you what, Joey, to me, and this is me, you don't like Brian Johnson. I just was, he sold me, the bill of lady at the time. And now, after 30 years, I have the right to say that I miss Bond Scott. Yeah, absolutely. I do too. I got a tattooed on my side.

Yeah. That's what I meant to say. But fuck, man. I look at it as if Brian Johnson, ACDC was a band that and Bonscott never existed, just these three records back in black, those about to rock and flick of the switch. I'm hooked on these records again, man.

How was Flick of the Switch? That fucking record is fire, man. I gave it to Marin. And I go, this record is underrated. It would be any other band. Best Record of all time. I'll listen to it. Oh, man.

It's... Listen, I put on some Brian Johnson shit. Yeah. Then I got to say, is that the performances they were doing were fucking brilliant.

Killer. I mean, you turned me onto one somewhere. Oh, Japan. Somewhere. And I went on like a sixth video run of them in ginormous

venues. I'm talking about arenas. Yeah. And their lights show, the timing, the white, the lights hit Angus the way he would move around. It's

brilliant. The power, and I can't deny that, his power with his voice to carry in that arena at that fucking age. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's something. I just, I was so much, Angus

Bon Scott Highway to hell was just a fucking to me. To this day, when I'm having a fucked up day, and I got a something, I'll go home and put the headphones on. I'll go in the back, get stoned to the gills. I'll put the fucking earphones on, G.

And I'll start that album from scratch. I can't lie to you. I fast forward high with hell. I'm too old. Yeah, me too old for high with a hell. Girls got rhythm. Sometimes I'm in the mood. Sometimes I'm not.

But I started with walk all over here. Shut down flames. And by the time, no, no. Then that jam after fucking, then that jam after fucking, Beating around the bush? No. One of those nights, she's got the touch.

Touch too much. By the time touch too much comes on, you're ready to stab a motherfucker. Yeah. Then you listen to shot down in flames. Incredible. And then the last jam is night prowling. Unbelievable. So listen to your state of mind.

Yeah. Now, here's what gets even more fucked up. I'm sorry to sound like one of those dudes of subway sandwiches that you were walking with the ponytail. Yeah. And the Ledz up on a t-shirt, and he's like, hey, man, I went to see Ping Floyd, man. And the other three sandwich makers are like, ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what you?

Yeah. I hate that fucking dude. That was when I dreaded being. Yeah. Was one of those dudes Dean Del right? Yeah. You were like, that cool old man, you know. What are we talking about?

I'm not sure yet. Who? Well, I'm sure yet. The concerts. Yeah. I was going to tell you, I saw them at Madison Square Garden, which I don't have to tell you.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I still remember making plans. I had the album and all, and so somebody goes, you know if I can't ACD's playing the garden with Ted Nudgeon on Saturday and then I'm like, come on. Yeah.

At that time, my mom wouldn't come home until about six at night. So at three o'clock, I'd go home. I'd take a little hit of a joint. I'd hide the joint, and I'd go upstairs, and there was three. Yeah, I was on my Victrola. You ready?

Yeah. Ted Weekend Warriors. Oh, yeah. ACDC, power rage. Yeah. Highway to hell. But the sleeper was Hotel California. Oh, I love that.

I play all four of them every fucking afternoon. Wow. And lip sync and play the air guitar like a half a fag. But guess what? It kept my powder dry. You know what I was that? Yeah, dude. That was so fucking good to listen to that shit.

Hotel California. California, dude. It's everything about it, the cover, the guitar playing, the lyrics, the songs. Life in the Fast Lane. I remember when that came out, all this I kept thinking it was one day I'm going to get a Camaro and I'll have that fucking eight-track player, you know, like playing life in the Fast Lane. I'll be driving to school. I'll be 18 or whatever. You know, it's just ban. La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-na. You know, that thing is smoking. That band is unbelievable. Unbelievable. You know, I'm like the rest of the world. I saw them with, I never saw them live with, until I saw the video of them doing Hotel California. I was a kid when that song came out. Yeah, yeah.

I still remember when that whole song. I still remember when one of these nights came out. Yeah. That's how old I am. Yeah, yeah. I was in the sixth grade slinging dick. I had two girlfriends in Miami. Yeah.

Latasha and Rebecca. And that song was the song of the summer. And I got to tell you something, until this fucking day, that is one of, that's got to be in my top 10 song. That song, another fucking jam that gets my heart riled up. Killer. Oh, my God.

So I was way into them. When Hotel California came out, I was a kid. I liked Hotel California. I liked Life in the Fast Lane. There was one other jam on there. That was tremendous. And then the other last one is a great album. The one with the, I can't tell you now yet.

Love that record. Underrated. That came out in 1980. Killer. And they just said it's over. Lights out in Georgia like fucking you. UFO. And then something happened.

I moved to Aspen. I was house sitting in Snowman's Village, right? And here's this fucking Cuban spick with felonies on the horizon. Which one pick them? Yeah. And I'm living in this fucking house.

But the dude told me that I could live over the garage, not to drive his car, and never, ever, ever, ever go in this house. Unless it's to get the shovels or to check the jacuzzi levels or shit like that. I wasn't allowed to do laundry in this house.

Even though he had a stand-of-the-art laundry room press button 19-fucking 85. Suck my dick, pal. You live in Northern California. You're one of the partners in TGI apps. Oh, wow. He was loaded. He had houses all over the country.

He had four kids. And, you know, he told me, he goes, we're going to come two weeks out of the year. Wow. Okay, but he never came two weeks out of the year. He would send his daughter once a year with four her college friends. They would order up $500 worth of booze, drink one night, puke, and leave all the bottles out for Uncle Joey to have parties with his bitches.

Like a soldier. Dog, I was living up in the fucking Maine bedroom. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he's never there? No, I had the jacuzzi, the stain room. I had a living room the size of this fucking building. that overlooked the mountains that was skiing and ski out. If you were above a certain point, you could

just ski out and the guards wouldn't say nothing to you. Go ahead. I would have like an old ski ticket on there. You'd vote for me. Oh, tremendous. You have no fucking I'd vote for me. Dean Del Rizzie, living like a doctor. Nobody. I didn't even believe it. I'm like, I'm a

fucking kid that's a fucking criminal. And I'm house sitting this motherfucker. TGIF owner. I'm 86. I got a fucking snorting. Yeah. And all you need is, you don't know what life is

that you snort Coke in a mansion by yourself. You hear and see all type of things when you're up after a day. Oh, yeah. I used to fucking hide in closets and in the steam room

and I had coke hidden all over to the house and then my girlfriend moved in and we'd see things in the backyard. It was horrible. So at night, it was called

475 Faraway Road. Yeah. That was the address. Wow. Snow Mass Village. Type it up, Lee. It's for sale still.

Yeah, I think we should. We found it, right? Oh, yeah? It's for sale? It's for sale. So I would sing that lyrics in some. There was one part where he would say something. And it was my hotel, California.

Wow. In my mind, there was my own personal hotel, California. Aspen or what was it? Yeah, no, Snowmast Village. You could check out any time you like, but you can never leave. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I had people up there for days up in that motherfucker.

I love that that. that photo is the Beverly Hills Hotel. Yeah, I never knew that. Fuck, I didn't either, man, until they broke it down. But the guy that shot that was telling stories about that perfect sun behind it, took the picture, man. And then the Beverly Hills Hotel wanted it off there, you know? And they're like, no, we didn't use your name or anything.

You know what I mean? It's wild. I love that cover. And then the back part where they're just in that lobby. It's so spooky, you know? That record kills. Imagine just having a perfect fucking record, you know? It takes a lot of worse.

See, what do they want for? How much? 17, no. 4.7? 4.7. You see those two garages? Yeah, yeah. That was supposed to be my apartment on top of those two garages.

Oh, I would have taken just that in the palace. No, no, but it wasn't like that then. That wasn't even a window on that side. It was just a door. You walked in up those steps on the side, but you can't see it with the tree. Look at that. Yeah, Joe. Just your cocaine palace.

That was my cocaine palace. The other side, with the chimney. Yeah. Up on the second floor. Yeah. That was the Uncle Joey. Suck your asshole room. Yeah.

You can never come in, but you can never go out. 5,000 square feet, seven bedroom, seven bath. Look at that, dude. Two bedrooms downstairs. Yeah. It had one, a study, and another bedroom upstairs. Like a master bedroom. and then it had two bedrooms down on the level where the kitchen was

and the living room. Pretty nice fucking house, man. I looked out. Wow. How'd you land that? You just meet the guy somewhere? No, my buddy landed the job. And I was in San Francisco, and I had to leave San Francisco because the cops were onto me.

So I went to Boulder. I'm in Boulder mine in my business, and I just called him to check the one. And he goes, where are you at? I go, I'm in bold. He goes, listen, brother. I got a little situation. I knocked up my wife. girlfriend and we don't want to raise the kid in here we got the fuck i got a job in jersey

when can you get up here i'm like i could be up there next week yeah so i already had connections from when i lived there before i made sick i moved in with him i moved in with him for like two nights he showed me everything i had to do it was basically 20 hours a week wow no i'm lying to you guys it was like 10 hours a week yeah so basically in the wintertime you shovel snow yeah and the you fucking cut the grass. Your own shining up there. No, you had neighbors. You had neighbors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he had neighbors.

And then he gave you projects every year. Oh, wow. And he didn't pay you for the labor. Yeah, yeah, but he paid for the materials. So he would go, Joey, paint the southern wall over there, the color that I'm going to send you to this hardware store. And I would paint it, and then he would never, he would pay me for the materials, but he would never fucking pay me for the labor.

Yeah, yeah. But he, I was like, fuck him. I disconnected the speedometer in his car. Oh, yeah. And I was living like a doctor with a brand new cheap truck and ranger. Yeah. It was just insane. It really was insanity.

It was the hotel California. You can disconnect that stuff? Oh, yeah. The fact that had the cable back then. Yeah, it's all digital. You can't. But back there was a cable right on the dash. But once you put it back, they could always tell.

It was untraceable because the numbers wouldn't add up. Yeah. The numbers would go off. Like when you were in the last bag. They staggered. They would stagger. But by that point, you'd be long gone? By that point, you took it until you put the fucking cable on.

They don't know. They took it to the fucking, they take it to sell it. And the people come back and go, you disconnected the cable. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. It's all fucked up. I can't think you're dealing with asshole. And then they find you.

And by that time, I'm long gone. Long gone. Where's Tony Bennett, Cogsuck? You're picking up the stars tomorrow, Lisa. At 10 o'clock, I gotta go on the mission tomorrow. I gotta meet fucking your boy Tommy Buns tomorrow. Sounds good. Sounds good.

Picking up the mission for Wednesday night. We're going off the fucking rails night, Wednesday night, Lisa. Got any mushrooms around? I got everything. You do? But Lee doesn't love mushrooms no more. Oh, why, Lee? Because I don't want any of it

What? Well, the mushrooms I just don't like this that's covered in shit Oh, fuck that Don't get me started Because he didn't even know how close he got The bean cut his neck And I almost suspended it for 25 days Oh shit

We're out Because I'm a fucking pussy I'm gonna eat carrots, I get it Yeah But in my, I'm 54 years old First time I ate a mushroom I was 19 Yeah. So I jump up and down, but I think it tastes like the chef of the future, no.

Now. But I think about the shit, yeah. And I go, you know what? It's all good. I never think about that. It's all fucking good. Look at the shit you eat in real life, Lee. Yeah, Lee, it's like Burger King.

He ate a Korean sandwich two weeks ago, right off the street, walked into a place. Right off the street. That guy didn't even wipe his ass with toilet paper. 20,000 fucking restaurants. He walks down the street happily. Yeah. And instead of going to the safe option,

I'm going to get a Korean fucking sandwich. I couldn't believe this one. This one's the one that really fucking... Every time I'm here, you get the food story on. Last time it was the sushi boats. Oh, please. There's always something else. It never ends.

It's never ending. But I don't want to eat shit, and that's weird. Terrible. He complains. He gagged. Yeah. I'm ready to see him. I'm going to go out to the desert.

Dirty fucking years. I never saw nobody even mention shit. Never. This is how bad he is. This is how bad it is. So the best, I hate to say this, but we're comedians. And, you know, sometimes you, whatever you wish for might come true. But look what happened, the burning man.

They got a little himself on fire. I know, man. They say he was straight. Yeah, good, right. He believed in that. Yeah, he was not straight. That dog did, that they told him only do a half of this. Yeah.

And they meant it. He didn't take him serious. No. He did three of them. Yeah. He went down and he saw that fire and he goes, fuck it. This will save my life. It's kind of cold out here anyway.

He's like, I'm the burning man. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe. And they said that... Have you been? Nope. It's probably one of the only things I've been ever done. Why not?

You know, because every time... I mean, you were an outgoing guy. I'm a sack of shit. Every time I heard about it was always like, you know, like, fucking, oh, man, there was fucking windstorms and sand. And, oh, we couldn't fucking see. Like, I never heard a good story of like, it was beautiful and perfect. It was always like, you know, sandstorms and, and, oh, no bathroom and, you know, whatever.

It's fucking 70,000 people. Do you camp? I don't camp, but I would on that, you know. Is that what people do? I'm asking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're camping.

Yeah. they got camping and people sleeping cars and, you know, campers and all that shit. It's just like just miles of like salt flat kind of area, you know? There was only one festival I felt bad about not going, and that was the US Festival. Oh, yeah. Because I was this close. Yeah, I was there. And I liked every band that was performing there.

And after that, I just, I remember going to Philis Green and watching Don Henley. and I noticed how the concert scene had changed. I noticed that now the smell of marijuana was offending people. Yeah. And then I went to a grateful dead concert at Red Rocks, and it was just off the chains. Fuck yeah. It really was off the chains.

That's the shit right there. And then I went to, like, there were just a couple concerts. It was like hit and miss at that age. Yeah. I was explained to leave that I was getting to places and going, why the fuck am I? Like, I remember going to Sierra Smith at the soap factory. And they were so bad.

But before they even started playing, like when they walked out, I'll never forget looking at them going, am I here? Yeah. This is an Aero Smith. And they started playing, and he was horrid. And I was furious, you know? Yeah. I've said it before.

I walked out of Twisted Sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I used to ask myself. I was not to see you back then. Oh, man. Fuck these guys. No, no. I wouldn't even say that.

Oh, yeah. I just look at you and go, we're either in or you out you want to stay what do you mean I'm having a good time listen we're leaving you know it's a 40 it's a 40 minute fucking find your own way home yes you gotta you gotta make a choice you want to stay for this show

you want to come and you leave because it's 50 bucks to get home and you only got 62 for the weekend oh man I never left man I always go straight to the front and got ready for the ride I just I was short

so I'd be like, excuse me, I can't see, I'd play that card. And I'd get, oh, let them buy, man, let them buy. You know, I get right up to the fucking rail. Dead center, front row, every show. And I always come out with a pick. I'd look down the ground, find a 10 or a 20, you know, some ground scores, somebody's wallet they dropped. I had a couple picks. I had a couple picks. I still got mine, Joey, in a box.

Oh, Jesus, God. I lost all. Oh, I take pictures of them and put them on. I was just writing about this fucking I scored when I was a kid Dean Del Rizzy I always scored I was a good album thief Yeah Not only was a good drug thief

But I knew how to burgh But I knew how to rob an album There was a place on Bergenleine Avenue That I knew if I bought one album I got one free It was my own deal Yeah yeah yeah I walked two up to the calendar But I only paid for one I would take the bag and on the way down I'd pick the other one and walk up with the bag

facing him, the inside thumb would be holding the album, and I'd walk out and put it in the bag like I owned the joint, bang. Yeah, two for one. I did the same thing in a crazy at ease or whatever the fuck. Those album stores in Jersey. Your own Columbia house.

The easiest score I ever had was Pathmark. Pathmark school was pretty fucking easy. Pathmark was a supermarket on the East Coast, and they were always there when I was growing up on, like, 78th and Tunley Avenue. and at that time of 82

I got busted in there shoplifting I tried to rob a gas station Georgie Amico and I went down there a shit rob a gun and I got busted clipping a toy gun

so I stayed out of there for like six months and then I started going back down and they had opened up they always had a magazine section yeah that's not a fart that's the chair

they opened up a magazine section but next to the magazines they put record albums and I'm not talking about Sinatra I'm talking about this like what was going on right now they wanted to get into the music business so they had everything by the Who everything by Led Zeppelin

so it was like starting from scratch I would go in there every day around 4 o'clock and I would take the albums I wanted three four of them and I would stack them real close to the magazines because the fence would close and I could still pick them up

and carry them through the fence. You can't write this shit. No. I did this and I would go either put them on the bottom of the shopping cart and buy groceries, pay for the groceries and then I'd walk out the store with them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the bottom of the thing with three or four albums, I did this four times a week. I had a fucking huge box with a long stack of albums. Fresh vinyl. Fresh vinyl. Fresh vinyl.

They covered, and what they didn't have, like I was always getting albums on the slide. I look at all this thing, and I'm like, how many times did I buy each of this fucking thing? Sabbath, bloody Sabbath. I gave, well, I gave Sharon Asborn's fault the fucking money 10 times, because then they'll see a dime from this shit, those poor bastards.

Yeah, I know, man, those fucking robbers. Who'd you go see when you were in New York this last time? Greta Van Fleet, incredible. 19-year-olds, dude, fire it up. fired up for Joey. You got to hear it, man. Two guys, twins. They're 20. You've seen them a couple of times. Yep. I went and saw them at the Viper Room last month. They played six songs. And then Florentine and I went and saw them in New York two weeks ago. And they played an hour. They're from Detroit. And it's two brothers or it's three brothers and a friend. Two of the guys are twins. And the other guys are younger guy. And they're like Zeppelin. meets heart and the fucking Greta Van Fleet

and they fucking they're kids Joey and they murder they murder it live man you gotta fuck you're gonna love it man it's like it's pure kids playing rock and roll right there highway tune right there

oh what the fuck here you know those people here yeah this is great man these guys are kids and they're fucking out there they're selling out everywhere man people are loving it Rock and roll. Check these vocals.

This is very interesting who got like me. Yeah. I mean, if you close your eyes from a minute there, it's Robert playing and Jimmy Page. Right?

You know, if you close your eyes and you go, okay, what makes these fucking, how old can they be? 21? 20 and 17?

Okay, so what makes these 20-year-olds play this type of music when they get jumped up and out, jump up and down with a fucking DJ? Yeah. And fucking,

whatever the fuck they do. You listen to this and it moves you because especially the older guys like you and I because we know where they got this from. They got this from their dad who said fuck you listen to this shit. That's what happened. And three kids, you know,

three kids listened to this shit. They took a friend, they go, no, listen to the idea we got. That sounded like a little bit of the immigrant song. Yeah. I want to play one more for you, Jim. Okay, so go to the EP and play Black Smoke Rising right there. them. Check this out,

dude. And they fucking play live and they sing live and they play the shit out of this stuff, man. And we were, in, Fantine and I were just going, this is fucking great, man. And people are into it. It's selling out everywhere.

And I had them on the podcast. It did. Yeah, I had them at the comedy store. We did it live there. All four of them and it was fucking great. I turned Eddie Trunk onto him. He's playing him. I turned Nikki Six on to him. He's playing him. And they're getting

out there. So check this one out. This one's smoking. Fucking good, huh? The guitar is Jimmy Page. Yeah. So much. And somebody else is in there. It sounds like a heart right there. The singing. Yeah. The singing. Like barracuda a little bit of a... I love when I see shit like this. People who have taken

something and said, you know what? We grew up listening to this. Our dad foster song. It's all my mom listened to this. And then we went to guitar school. What the fuck do you go? and learn how to play all this shit, and you're like, I listened to something recently that you want to fucking slit your wrist

because you didn't enjoy the band and do this type of shit. Right. What the fuck was it? I thought of you too, but you were in New York. I didn't call you. Late night, I got home to the company.

You call me anytime, dude. I love when you call me. You know, you get home in the comedy store some nights. And there's some nights that you think of a joke, you said, Lee reminds me of something on the way in a room, so you sit down, you open up your computer you put YouTube on it

and you write whatever you remember in the sequence the best that you can but while you're fucking around on YouTube if you sign in it plays all the shit that you've played over the years right something came on

and I scrolled and I looked at it and I go oh my God and I put it on and I thought about you what the fuck was it was it UFO now there's something I do want to get involved with you in

oh yeah word on the street is March 19th I don't know if that's the date. Shankler is in San Jose. Yeah, yeah. Also, I think Orange County, though. But is he doing Orange County? Can we look at what the date is?

The Grove. The place called the Grove. Yeah, look it up, Shanker. Do we have to go to that? That'll be my last tarot with shows. I think so. But you got to smoke refo. Oh, I'm all over.

I don't want no misunderstanding. No stars. No, I think it may be a little, a cap. Take a little cap. No worries. Get in there. No, why. worries.

No worries. Yeah, whatever I'm like the fear of God in you. I think we need to do that there and go see Shanker. I just, I watched some of his shit from like three years ago. Unbelievable. And he's still fucking tremendous, you know. I don't know if he's drinking. I don't really give a fuck.

Is he going to show up to the shows? You might, you know, people say he stopped showing up. Yeah, he'll be there. Michael Schengen, S-H-E-N-K-E-R. I'm glad you got to check out Greta Van Fleet fucking cool, man There are playing

Michael Schengen himself Yeah here we go Your bad motherfucker So a tour right there Look at this shit Yeah he looks I don't think I don't know if he's updated

Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah here we go So it is Go down a little more It's in March there So there it is right there Uh Looking for some California date

Keep going There it is Right Anaheim right there March 28 25th, sitting at National Grove. Let's go to that. 100%.

Who's... I don't think it's available yet, maybe not. He's got all three singers. He's got Graham Bonnet, I think, McCauley, and the third singer. I guess he's going out with three singers. Now, who was the first singer

from MSG? Are you hot tonight? Yeah. And was he also the singer on his name Gary Barden. And then you got Graham Bonnet on the second one. No, it was the same singer as the first one. Or the third one or whatever.

Attack of the Madax Man, Graham Bonnet, and then you get McCauley. Yeah, let's go to Wikipedia real quick. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Gary Barden. Okay, on the first album, let me see it was on the first and the second album. Yeah, so Michael

Shanker group. This is interesting shit right now. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting No, my memory is slipping, man. Yeah, yeah. Mine's starting to come back after the... No sugar. Yeah, no sugar. My mind is take top of my goo.

You know, I stay on top of that shit. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so go down, slide down, and then find... Oh, no, that's a record. So, okay, over here where the chronological records are? Mm-hmm. On the right there? Yeah, okay, so we want to hit Michael Schen...

MSG, no, let's see, go down. No, not that one, the other one, go back. Right there, Michael Shanker. Yeah, that one. Okay. So let's look at the records real quick. And the first one, I'm almost 100%. It's Gary Barden.

So where's the records? Discover it. Okay, right there. 80. Michael Shanker group, 80. Right there. Yeah, there you go. Singer. Let's see you go it down to a singer.

Look at that Roger Glover. Fucking produced that. There it is Gary Barden. I knew it. All right, now who is the band for the second now? For MSG. Go to the second record. I'm almost sure that it's

there you go. Singer is Gary Barden. Then the third one is Graham Bonnet. Let's check the third one. one. Look at Cozy Pal on drums. What a God, he's gone now.

Not that one, sorry. Assault attack. Who was on one night of Bool-a-Con? Well, that's a live record. That's a live. I had that. Yeah, I believe it's Gary Bard and singing from the tours there.

Let's see. Yeah, Gary Barth. So then go to the next... Cozy Powell was on that tour. Yeah, yeah. I saw that tour, dude. I saw the first record tour at Wolfgangs in San Francisco.

Look, and he did Dr. the doctor, but it's for Phil Mon. So that's what he wrote it with. Yeah, that's here. So then go to the attack. That was a great show if you watch them to do all those songs. It's great, right?

That's crazy. Here we go. This is definitely Granbonnet. I'm almost 100% sure. There it is. Grand Bonnet. Yep. I saw all the era, so I remember. Yeah, by this time I was gone.

Yeah. The first two are masterpieces. Masterpieces. They're unbelievable. Adam. I still listen to on and on once a month. Oh, fuck. I still listen on the planes.

I have both albums on my iPod. Yeah. So I'll listen to fucking both albums on those six-hour flights. Yeah. A couple stars, maybe a puck cookie, and Uncle Joey's fucking going on the meteoros, you know what I'm saying?

Let me tell you something. You know where Cobbs is? Yeah. Well, that was a club called Wolfgangs. Michael Schenker played there on the first record. I was front row. The place held maybe about

4005. Was it the same way? Same setup, man. And I watched Michael Shanker in there. I got some photos. I snuck a shit camera in. I got them at my house. I'll bring him next time.

And I watched him melt the fucking place to the ground. I mean, it was incredible. And I could sit here and tell you that I knew what the fuck I was doing. I had no idea. Yeah. But like in 1978, my mother hadn't died yet.

I still went to, I had gone to a few concerts. Not even ACDC yet. Yeah. I was right before ACDC. And one of the fucking dudes from the neighborhood who sold T.AC Crystal. Yeah. So he had tickets to go see Rainbow at one of those theaters in Newark, New Jersey, or in one of those bad neighborhoods.

Yeah, yeah. Some Aragon ballroom shit. Yeah, it was like, I don't even know if, It was Rainbow. It was the Scorpions and somebody else, but Michael Schengner was there that night. Wow. That's the first time I went in there, I could lie at the end. I didn't know nothing.

Right. But all I knew was I left there, and I wanted to know what that guitar player was. Right. About two weeks later, he released, no, like, I don't know, maybe a year or two later, he released that fucking album. By that time, I had bought, like, Lights out. Yeah.

I had bought. Strangers in the night, live one? No. The one with one more for the rodeo on it. Right. Let's see Michael Schengen with UFO. Shit, I can't see it all. Here we go.

Just quick UFO right there. Okay, so here's the records. Obsession? That's the one. Yeah. That was the one. that blew my fucking mind. 78 obsession.

Yeah, that one. And then I went backwards. I got lights out. And then I got Phenomenon. Yeah. And then I got strangers in the night. Yeah. And then after that, I think I was done.

That's what I was done. That is one of my... That one's great. Look at the cover. That is one of my favorite albums of all time. Only you could rock me. Obsession. Yes.

I was one more for the rodeo type of guy. Play one more for the rodeo. Listen to the fucking guitar. on this guys. Listen to Michael Shankner on this. And now this is 79. Yeah. I'm doing acid. Yeah. Okay? My friends are into Pink Floyd.

You know, Zeppelin, they're into Lenin Skinner, the Kinks. Boston? No, no, no, no, no. Ted, heavy stones, heavy doors, heavy hoo. But nobody, unless you were from uptown, really, right there, one more for the rodeo.

No, no, is it one more for the rodeo? What the fuck is the name of the song we're talking about? One more for the rodeo. Yeah, one more for the rodeo. Yeah, right there. Right there. Look at that. Not live.

No, no, no, not live. That one, 2008 remassed. Yeah, right there. Listen to Michael Schengen's guitar, please, ladies and gentlemen. Kick it, Lee. Look at the cover, dude. So fucking cool. Trippy as fuck.

Love that cover, dude. Frank it, Lee. Crank it, because I want you here. Watch Chan can come in. Subtle. One more pretender. Who just... Hey.

Here we go. Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking great, dude. Come on. He hasn't stopped. No. Hear that. Listen to these shit guys.

He's destroying his fucking guitar. Yeah. I used to get poked up. My mother had died. I'd be heartbroken at night. I'll turn this. softly, listen to this shit. I'd be heartbroken at night.

I'd get into the benders like at 1.30 from like a half gram my pocket, and I'd put this whole hour on, smoke coke and just fucking cry. Listen, but this would fucking destroy me. He hasn't stopped. Kick it again, Lee. He has not stopped.

It's incredible. He has not stopped kicking the fuck out of that mule dog. You understand? You could just play that second of that, and I'd go, Shanker. He has his own fucking sound. No, no, that's tremendous. It's unbelievable.

It sounds like fucking a little bit of Gilmoreish. Yeah. But he just takes it out there. But he gets the beauty about this. This is 79. Listen to his guitar play. What's that? So Ozzy Oswald was auditioning guitars.

Yeah, he auditioned up. And he walks in, and Ozzy's told him with Nazi jokes. Wow. And this guy packed up his guitar and left. This is what he turned away. Yeah. But he passed on this. We got Randy.

Randy Roads. Yeah, yeah. But this to me. is one of the best guitars. I mean, I put it up there with Paige at the Garden, you know, fucking Santana at Woodstock. Totally.

That performed, that guitar right there. And he's on, he's got like two or three of these live. But we can't play it now. This is when you're home, you get stoned at two in the morning, look for one more for the rodeo, do it on the studio version,

and then watch the two videos live, and watch this fucking blonde six foot something zombie tear this fucking guitar apart. Dude, I love everything about it. And nobody knows about them. No. Like the kids today would not know fucking about him.

You have no idea because we get, listen, Jimmy Hendricks was great. Yeah. And you know what? At the age of 14, 12, 13, when I started getting into this shit, Jimmy Hendricks was great, but you know what?

Jimmy Page was alive and kicking. Yeah. So I want to do it who was alive. I'll listen to Jimmy later. He ain't making no new music. Yeah, yeah. I'll catch up on his shit later. Yeah.

And then he once in a while, hey, Joe, and all that shit was cute. But I was always a guitar whore. Yeah, me too. You like what I listen to. Listen to why I listen to. Yeah. I like this. I like Gilmore.

Yeah. I like fucking Jimmy Page. I love all this fucking guitar band. Mantras. I love mantras. Oh, fucking. The guy got stoned and put on bad company at like two in the morning. I was on like 2,000 milligrams.

Me and Lee went somewhere, we got a bagel or some shit. I went home, I was lit. You know when you're high on THC, and you know, no matter how high on THC you are, you're not going to be able to fall asleep. Your mind's going to run away. No, no, no, no.

You might even have an anxiety attack. So I said, why go to bed? I was going to call him and torture him, tell him not to answer the phone, the cops call, that type of shit. And the next thing you know, I said, let me put it on YouTube. And fucking, I put it on.

I went from, like, you know, like, I went from Debbie Gibson. Debbie Gibson was on Sirius. Oh, yeah. And she was emceeing her own music. Deborah Gibson? And a foolish beat of my heart. Yeah. So I went home.

I had a crush on her, yeah. Please, I love that album. God. I loved that, fuck. I was Snowton Coke in the Halfway House. Oh. I was in love with her. I don't know if I was in love it.

I just liked that little faggy music. Yeah. I liked her. You know who Debbie Gibson is? Yeah, yeah. No, I don't do that. Foolish beat of my house. Yeah.

She's a little Jewish girl from Long Island. I wanted to date her so bad. Listen, guys. Yeah. She hosted the 30th anniversary of this song, and I got to tell you something, I couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't get out of the car. It was so interesting. Yeah.

She was so refreshing. She talked about why, foolish beat, Debbie Gibson. Yeah. Later changed it to Deborah Gibson. Let me get it together. She's a goomba. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Hit it right there. It is right there. Oh. Hit it, Lee. This little Jewish girl from Long Island. I love the Jewish girls, Joey. That's all I like. I love them. Listen to this shit, Lee. That's all I like.

Who the fuck plays Debbie Gibson? Yeah. Circa, 1987. From UFO. On the fucking podcast. Yeah. From UFO to this. We go everywhere.

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Big crush on her. I'm driving. Yeah, Lee. Yeah. I couldn't go home.

Look at her. That's how much I love the song. Yeah. A straight up like careless whisper, wham, all that. Look at the week. A little Jewish girl from Long Island. Cue the fuck. I like the outfit.

Yeah. I don't like that hat. I hate hats. I don't need that hat. Look at the dude in the turtle neck. Here we go. Oh, shit. Yeah, she's talking to me.

I mean, she's talking to me. This was my shit, Lysayette, 1987. I get coked up and listen to this and jerk off your shit. Yeah, we got the soft side to us. Right? I wouldn't look at the video and whack off. I just listen to the song. Wow.

Look at the lead, keeper, keeper. Look at her. She said bye to him right there. Oh, shit. You're hilarious. You should play this for fall in tonight, Lee. Late night. when you get people in the house.

Yeah. With the sound of a little bit roby shit. Yeah. Give her a flower. Smooch on her neck. Smooch on her neck, Lee. What are you like to get a boombox at this time of night? Yeah.

A boom box. Fire it up on your iPhone. There's the outfit I like, Joey. Look. Here we go. That's some fucking, that's how the women look in Manhattan. I love them. Look at that.

That's some Manhattan women there. Were you in her? No, really. Why does she look like she's about to walk off the bridge? She just lost her man. Those are the ones you want. Yeah. You want normal one.

You want to catch them right there and cook spaghetti for a bit shit. Yeah. Here we go. Here's the whole thing that we're here. It goes down to this, Lee. Don't fuck around. Kick that meal, Lee. Yeah.

Come on, fuck. Here we go. Look at it. No titty, bony knees. Yeah. I don't give a fuck, check. Hounds two skirt. I like it.

Look at the audio. Are you fucking nuts or what? Meanwhile, I'm in the halfway house. Let's listen to these shit in my fucking demo. From fucking 104th and Thornton. This is how I was kicking it. I used to listen to this. And there's another jam where he's to listen to it.

You ready for this? Lee? Yeah. Put on expose. Oh, yeah. Let this. No, what was it? Let this.

Put it and let this and the rest will come up. Let me be the one. That's the one. Ex-Bose. Ex-Bose was right along with this. This is when I was fucking in the halfway house. Yeah. Hanging out with criminals and shit. And I had this jam in the car.

This jam was hot. Oh, man. Lee, how long we take you? Oh, I love that. I love that Rockwell. Somebody's watching me. Oh, my God. That's awesome.

I always feel like somebody's watching me. Remember that one? Oh, please. That was very gaudy son. Yeah, it's great. They put a gun to Michael. The third one. Here are you.

They put a gun to, Michael Jackson said and making him single. Kick it, Lee. Kick that, Lee. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Listen to this shit. This is great.

These are three fucking dudes, three chicks from Miami. Yeah. Yeah. This was a great fucking album. Seasons change. They had three or four hits on it. Oh, these guys were huge. I'm going with me.

Yeah, yeah. Here we go, Lee. Kick it. I love the 80s sound. I love this shit. Total hauling out. I would stay out and watch the videos at night and shit. Yeah. I think they're on the road.

Are they? Yep, they're on the road, too. Oh, shit. Yeah. That fucking transmission fluid's kicking in. Oh, fuck. Just now? Mine's been kicking in. Transmission fluid.

Yeah. People, you have no fucking idea. I'm taking you... The next time you go, people... Don't touch those fucking controls leave. I'll bite your finger off on the cell of the gym. Japanese. Listen to me. Next time your people go to your people's house

on Thanksgiving, bust this out for these cocksuckers. Go over there, jumping up and down the garbodge. Hit it, Lee. Oh, shit. Listen to that production. Straight Miami Sound Machine. Do you believe your Uncle Joey? Listen to this shit, Lee, say?

Secretly, this, I'd be jamming this stuff. No, I wouldn't be secretly. People knew I was out in the open. I went home in 94. Yeah. I'll tell you who I got hooked on. Janet Jackson. Oh, fuck, yeah. Control record? In 94, control, the one after that. Oh, okay.

That other one. Pleasure Principal? Yes. Oh. Jesus. Smoking, dude. The other day that one of those slow jams from Prejudgeant principal came on, I almost shut a fucking tear.

What a record? People, you're at home going, what the fuck are they talking about? Guys, Janet Jackson, didn't become Janet Jackson because she was Michael's little sister. No. You ever have a doubt of who the fuck Janet Jackson was was control. Pleasure Principal. Pleasure Principal.

And, uh, then one sucked dick, but she came back in 95. Yeah, but just Janet. It was called just Janet. Janet. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Smoking, dude. You know, it was amazing about her. She almost had... The song was called If.

Yeah. She had more hits than Michael for a while. You know what I mean? Like Michael just faded away, you know? Like, she... Well, my listen, it was tough to follow Thriller. Yeah, of course. What are you going to do with Thriller? I think after thrill, Bad. Bad.

Yeah. Was it bad? Yep. And, you know, that had some hits, but then after that, he just kind of disappears, you know, and she just takes it over.

It came out in 91. Remember the time. Michael Jackson? Yeah. Have you ever seen that video? Remember the time. Let's see here. Just put him,

Remember the Time. Who sings that? Michael Jackson. This was when... There we go. Well, this is when video. Rudy was on a couple weeks ago. Yeah?

And we were talking about... I fucking love that guy. There it is. We were talking about how they spent money on videos. Oh yeah, back then, like a million dollar video. Put the video on. Why are we working on a fucking video? Just put the video on.

Lee's on that transmission for it. Yeah, Lee's fucked up. I like it. You said you wanted to know what year came out? No, no. No, no. He gave it to you. I gave it to you.

You know me, dog. I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass. It's YouTube and fucking remember the time. This is one of those videos, Lee, where Michael Jackson went into a fucking meeting of wherever. Yeah. Because I want to shoot this video. Oh, remember this video?

Yeah, this shit is crazy. This is crazy, Lee. Yeah, right there, that one. Fucking 10-minute video costs like $10 million. You know what that's like, Lee? You know what that's like for me to come to you and go, Lee, you got to give me 10 mil for a video. This video is insane.

You like Joey were minus 10 million right off the top. Yeah, off the top. Watch this song playing video, Lee. For a fucking video. But MTV was that strong. Yeah, they were. Oh, yeah. Put your music comedy.

You're going to sell records. MTV was that strongly. If they played it, you bought it. Yep. This thing's nuts. Straight Egyptian. This cat cost him a half a mill. Look up.

He's unit. Yeah, he's definitely a union that cat. Oh shit Then the tiger baby tigers Another hunter grand All right What's the name? Imond

This is Imamah And Grace Jones That's Imond She's great She's fucking A half of milk Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy

He's a mill Yep You know Yep Yep Right there Eddie brus This is 1991

Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy's in your video Golden chat You're looking at me for Lee Look at them Yeah All right These guys are on your fucking video

To be entertained Can I care Find some way You ever seen this lady? Never here with us Awesome Oh, thanks I don't know How to fuck you

Eddie Murphy Do your video I know Is this coming to America? What is this? This is 91 This is Michael Jackson's video Buddy

Oh right Wait wait wait No no I haven't seen it now Look at this Yeah I have fucking Magic Johnson Magic Johnson Before the Hiv

Yeah, before hips, pre-hips. Was it before the hook? Yep. Fake bald head. Throw him to the lions. Throw him to the lions. We'll literally do it now. Horatious.

I'm the top day to be a comic of those days. Look at those hats. Pyro. Off of this ad. That's cool. Hilarious. Here we go. Moon dance in the sandals.

It's 91.92 Lee. And what is it? He had just killed the thriller. Yeah. Then something else. Bad. He was quiet for a while. And then this shit came out.

He was fucking people up, Lysa. Yeah. Look at this. For them to give you this type of money, to shoot a video, you're like, listen, watch what I got for you. Yeah, someone huge directed it too. This video. Super Nose job.

Jesus fucking Christ. I used to do comedy on Tuesday, nights and then after the country you can leave the song it's great and then after Tuesday nights I used to take this girl to an Australian bar called the Outback

and we karaoke and I go up there and sing this for her and shit like that I'm gonna fuck around I'd do a little comedy routine because I was karaoke in the song punch you fuck yeah

she was young out of college you shit I was a karaoke divorced. On the road. I was in love. Yeah, it was crazy. Fucking crazy, guys.

I was eating those annexes. Oh, yeah. 10 milligrams. I eat 10 of those motherfuckers. Like M&Ms. Tremendous. To a couple lines, I was right there. Oh, shit.

I was 29 years old. I was dating a 22-year-old college graduate. I was an open micah. I didn't know dick about dick. I owed 50 Gs. And I didn't give a. Fuck, Jay. Who'd you owe 50 Gs to college?

Credit card. Yeah. Start hunting you down. Oh, they were calling me at open mics and shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Jerry. Who's this? This is the credit card company.

You don't know what it's like to get to a place where you're doing comedy at. Or a comedy club, and somebody says, hey, the phone rang before somebody called for you. You're like, holy shit, HBO called here finally for me. Yeah. They must have got my tape from somewhere. This is way before you'd say. Yeah, yeah. They must have

see on my tape somehow. And you get on the fucking phone, and they're fucking Discover card, and they're asking for their 44-95. You don't know what life is. You just give somebody back to the phone and go, oh, shit. Oh, man.

They're calling me at my place and fucking business. They just embarrassed me in front of the club owner. Yeah. You know who's getting those calls? The chicken Denver. Oh, Wendy?

Wendy. When I first started at Wendy, Wendy would tell me, Joey, I got the credit I calling for you today. You know what embarrassing it was, but she liked me so she overlooked it. Yeah. Yeah, those fuckers.

They pay those people to hunt you down, and then they just call all day. They are, they're tremendous at their job. I applaud them that they had a tame, they had to put a lot together, because these guys are vicious. Oh, yeah, they are. They do even shit.

They're vicious. And that's their job. You know, and they keep. selling the paper over and over and you get a new ring like it's funny you would call me for for 90 days you'd be relentless and if I wouldn't give you a dime

I wouldn't hear from you again ever and then 60 days later the phone would start ringing discover all over again but now it was fucking Michael Riccio looking for me yeah and I'd come home in the afternoon dog and there'd be nine messages on my machine, eight and a half of them were fucking credit card companies.

Yeah. It was scary. I thought I was done. I was done. I was there. I was there. I remember when I did the Ice Cube movie, I got the money, and I paid off the credit card, and then I cut it up, and I was like, never again.

These fuckers call, they call your job. They call your cell phone. And nonstop letters in the mail, all that shit. So when I paid it off, I never got another credit card. And I was like, fuck that, man. It was a night. It was something you buy like 15 years ago. You don't even know what you bought.

It was so long ago. And you're paying on the interest still. You know, these credit cards are fucking demons, man. It's the complete, it's why I always tell people why they never go for their dreams. because they get caught up in credit card debt and then there's no way out ever and then your dreams just go fucking away. At one point for your dream,

you know, you feel in the back of your mind because you've heard so many stories that that's part of the dream. That's why you go into debt because in your back of your mind this is not going to matter someday. You're going to have so much money that you'll be able to pay it all right.

That was my reasoning with three quarters of this shit. I just lied to myself. I'm like, it doesn't matter. One day I'll see fucking Richard Pry, and he'll like me and bring me on tour. There'll be no suffering. I didn't know about the suffering that went with the journey.

Yeah. And it was very interesting. And you're doing that journey. And that's why I said to you that, you know, you've been doing it for seven and a half years and you've made huge leaps and bounds because you had to, you've been putting weird fucking positions.

One minute you were in not. huh, huh, uh, and next minute you were open up for Burr in a 900 seat theater. Yeah. And two weeks later, you opened up for Mark Maron and a thousand seat theater, and you had to learn how to cut the fat. You know, you've learned. It's not that, and listen, you gotten to the store, which is a huge accomplishment. But like I said earlier, you take a plane to do a fucking spot, you know? I'm your age.

I could take a plane to do a spot, but with the kid, none. Yeah, I don't fucking go somewhere in the end of September. Yeah It's got to be a long week I'm not sweating I'm gonna have a good time for two days With family There you go

I gotta make a little pit stop In fucking Philly You know what I'm saying Before I go to fucking Pittsburgh Yeah And see if a man about a dog Yeah it's fucking You know what

It's hard work man It's hardest thing I've ever done But I fucking love it man I love it man I love it it you know it's the hardest easiest thing i ever done right you know right and lee and i we've had discussions on the podcast about hard work and whatever field you picked as long as you're hard work and you're honest and you do the right thing you know at one point it all has to flourish

at one point if you really really really believe in your heart that this is what you genuinely want to do yeah if you want to draw murals and hopefully people give you a 15 bucks, but if they give you $4,000, you ain't gonna turn it down. Do you know what I'm saying? You're living that type of lifestyle. Eventually somebody is gonna give you $4,000 for a mural. And eventually somebody's gonna give you $8,000

because somebody gave you $4,000. Then somebody's gonna give you $12,000 because somebody give you $8,000. It's just you hanging in there. And it's just, it's such a bullshit thing to sell somebody, especially somebody young who's like, fuck you.

People out there, you knew people, Adam's saying, I don't know, nobody. Once the movie's done, they disconnect their phone. Nobody knows nobody. Nobody knows nobody. Once the project's over. Yeah, once the project's over, you don't know nobody.

Yeah, yeah. Although, no, I'm not talking bad about Adam. Adam is bad. He brought his crew all the time. Yeah, no, he's always been a fucking good dude like that. That's why he's out of career. Because he knows how to cast people. For years, he did a great job casting.

Yeah. And, you know, right now he's on Netflix. people are bitching man holy shit people are pissed of this last fucking couple I don't even know what movies have been out

I'm not even up on Adam Salon no more you know I don't even know what he does I know he went over to Netflix and he released his pictures at Netflix and I know that one of them have Whitney Cummings in it

or something like that so that's all the fuck I know that's why Lee's around he's supposed to keep me up on this he makes believe he doesn't know he'll start stuttering in a minute. I don't know. Then he'll go, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and Netflix.

Drop it on people. I've heard the last one was actually pretty good at, but I haven't seen it yet. The last one I saw was the one where it was Chris Rock and then they all went to the camping like the family house trip.

And it's Chris Rock. Kevin James. Yeah, and what's his name? Rob Schneider. And they go on a, like, a camping trip. And it was fucking pretty funny, man. They go to the waterslides and Steve Bishimi's in it. And he crashes on the water slide and he's in a fucking permanent body cast.

It was funny, man. And then they did a sequel to it. I didn't see it. But that shit was funny. That was the last one I saw, you know. I think that, like, Jud Appetal is kind of the new guy with that, like, putting out the killer comedies. non-stop, you know.

I love all the stuff he's doing now, you know? I don't even know what the fuck he's doing anymore. I know he's doing crashing. Yeah, love. I'm on love this season. What's love? That's an HBO show? Yeah, it's fucking great.

Netflix? Yeah, Netflix. Crashings on HBO. You're gonna fucking promote a fucking show if you don't know what network. No, crashing's on HBO, and love is on Netflix. But love is about... How many seasons? It's going to be the third season.

And it's fucking... funny man it's shot over in silver lake it's this hipster chick and a hipster dude and and and they meet and by chance and man they're both fucking lunatics it's a great show i think it's one of the best shows that nobody's talking about it's so fucking funny man third season third season i'll be on season three march first at the carmere from hanging out the comedy store doing spots of the store fucking guy saw me do a set man and he was like you You know, we started talking. And he's like, what do you got going?

I was like, fucking nothing, dude. I got no manager. I got no agent. He's like, that's slant to see, man. I got, yeah, I got nothing. A week later, I got a call. They're like, we got a role for you on love. And I was like, fuck, this is incredible, man.

And, you know, he let me come down there and just improv and shit. And then after he's like, you were great, man. He made a call to a manager, checked this. guy out and it got solid, solid dude man, great. You didn't get it from sitting at home. You didn't get it because you were angry

because they don't have enough white dudes at the fucking store. Yeah. You went down there like an animal, got on, saw he was on, he liked your shit, you spoke to him for a little while. Yeah. And people get pissed at you. Like I was telling you when I got up here, people look at that, like, why the fuck does he get

that and I don't get that? Yeah. That's when it starts at the store. Like, I was always was cooler at the store until I started booking TV shit. Yeah. By the time I got to Spider-Man, too, I could feel the fucking hatred in my neck. Every time I walked in there, they would talk to me, but go, but look at this fucking fat, fucking cocaine. Or at least what I, that's what I thought. Right.

But I wouldn't think of it. They didn't felt it. Yeah. You know what I didn't feel it. You know what I'm saying? It's kind of weird to it. I never have any ill thoughts to anybody in the business. No, me neither.

It's kind of weird. My enemies are cancer and heart attacks. And if somebody's doing good, it's just great for the biz, for the store and everything. I never go like, fuck that guy got that. I just never have that mentality. I really don't get that because that's how you go down. You end up going down that way because when you don't get stuff, you get angry, and then you start to fucking do bad moves and then people don't want to work with you.

You know, like that guy's a negative dude or whatever. It's just like we're all in this together. together, man. It should be us against the business. Well, I'm going to tell you something. For me, I was here in my first year. I didn't think things were moving as fast as

they should have. Like everybody else who comes here. That's young and stupid and things that this is made overnight. And you made a good point, but I'm too fucking high to remember. Help me out, Lee, you're the fucking... You're not taking notes?

You're not the man behind the plan on me? No, I have no plan at this point. It's been one of those nights here on the podcast. We had to push the envelope tonight. Last night we showed up, and then we found out midway that Lee, my man, Dean Delray, had the wrong night. I told him the wrong night.

I was high as fuck. And Lee and I sat here for a while. We talked shit. We kept the periscope up. Who gave a fuck? we were already here. Yeah. And we tricked you motherfucker, so here we are.

But we went deep last night into the murky waters of the underworld. But tonight I had to take him a little deeper because he's been slipping lately. You know what I'm saying? No narcos, all this type of shit. He knows I love him. You know, but I got to tell him.

I didn't know he had rules about watching narcos. Oh, you know. I can't wait for season. I'm going to watch season 3. Be on the fucking church. I'm going to watch it this weekend. Your girlfriend's Mexican. You should already.

watched it, taking notes, so while you're watching you can ask how many people are, what's this 20 to life, what's this, 17 years. You know, you've got to be out of the game if you want to be interesting. I'm just trying to tell you it. Yep. My point is, you know, everybody

down there at the store, man, it's just a, I think it's a great vibe. Everybody should just be, you know, fucking pulling for each other. I know that I'd tell you. When you come here, you're here for the first year. Things ain't moving as fast as you want. And all of a sudden, something happens. You start looking like the people close to you,

and you start seeing what they have. Instead of focusing on what they have, you should focus on, you know what I'm saying, what you're looking to get. But I got to tell you something, there's a period after you hear like a, like at the two-year mark where you look at your comic friends,

where you both call your peers, where they all have been in comedy at the same time as you. And it was ever moving kind of quick. kind of get mad at. It's just a natural instinct. Yeah. And then he'll have something good happen, maybe something good happened. And now you really get angry deep down the side. But one day you man up and you go, you know what, man?

What am I being angry about? That's good. We're friends. If he got that, guess what I could do? So you kind of flip your mind to have the advantage here. Yeah. And that's what I started doing. I knew there was people getting shit that, were terrible.

But that's the way life is. There was nothing I could do. There was nothing I could do. I don't control it. All I could do is keep getting on stage every night. And get better. And try to be the funniest cat I could be. And that's why I did.

I kept my mouth shut. I didn't argue with nobody. I knew the recipe. I wanted to put it to the test. Yeah. You got to know the recipe and put it to the test. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And that's what's what you're doing. And that's what are you got cooking to look and look at you. How was your labor dead? it was pretty good we went to the ice house that was fun oh yeah saw our buddies Steve Simone red band I saw you this morning that fucking Marie E.Tee yes sir sitting there like a judge eating fun did you give the cat the dogs from bacon uh Paul did yes good you're supposed to give bacon the bark at you yeah they make noises yeah what got dog yeah was it very interesting he's adorable yes yeah I told you who the fuck do you think of the least I yet who do you think

puts the fucking sizzle in Uncle Joey does. You understand me? I've been going down there for years. They just started serving breakfast. Lisa, I had, my brother, tell them how good the bacon is. The best bacon I've had in L.A. Tell me about the potatoes. Where are you going? We go to our coffee shop, Marie E.T.C. Where's that at? Riverside and Coffax. It's an old coffee shop. It's been there. I've been going there for 10 years, pastries, that type of shit. Don't touch it. When did they get a kitchen in there? I'm looking around. I'm looking at these.

sandwiches and the shit. Finally, one day I go to meet somebody in the morning. I look at the breakfast. I look at the bacon slices and I go in there. I get the home-fried potatoes or real potatoes with onions and red peppers and green peppers. I'm like, wow. And they give

you multi-grained toast. Instead of giving you two eggs, they give you a three one. Just in case you're going to give somebody a stabbing that. Am I lily? Am I lily? No, they're delicious. And they cook them to order and they actually know how to cook it? And they bring it out to you quick.

You eat it outside. You have a cup of coffee. You write. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? While I'm waiting for the eggs, I make my calls, I outline what I'm on the right. Once I get the eggs, I stop what I'm doing.

Bub, bop. Once they leave, I map up the table. And poop, you put your little fucking iPod on. And you start a fucking typing. And there you go. You made a complete day. After two hours, you're allowed to get up and stretch your legs to get circulation

for the last thousand words of the day. Where are you at on the new half hour? A new half hour I'm probably honest, honest I'm probably 12 minutes in Yeah, that's good Burr always told me if you could get one minute A week, just one minute

a week, you're fucking getting there. And I thought, you know, when you look at it as one minute a week, it sounds more attainable than I need a new hour. One minute a week. That's how I look at it now. That's four minutes a month. You get up to 54, what, 54 minutes a year

right there one minute a week that's a cool way to look at it right yeah no it's true it's absolutely true yeah all the times I do those little rooms that's part of it

Lee tapes it and I will tell you something it's a way I said something yeah you're so right it's the cadence that's what you really learned yeah you learn wow I can't believe I said that I listened to those tapes

and I thought backwards. Because I forgot where that came from, how it came from, why it came from. I just was in such a personal zone because the pressure's off. I don't like the store the pressure is out. I'm too old for the pressure

to be out. I'm the opposite. I love the pressure. I love the pressure, but not when I'm trying to write a new store. I hear you. I hear it. Because you get in there, like Burrow was telling me a couple nights ago, I go, man, I'm trying to work these stories out is I'll just go start bombing. And I go,

Yeah, but it's tough when you're fucking on at 9 o'clock and it's sold out. You know what I mean? Like, you got to go bomb somewhere else. So I bomb on the road now. That's why I go to New York, man. Just fucking get out in it. Bombing eliminates bombing. Yep.

You know, the more you fucking bomb at something at first, the more bombs you're eliminating. Absolutely. And it sounds kind of weird. It's percentages. It's 12 percentages. Yep. The more you're going to stay, the more you're going to bomb.

Okay. But then the other, then one day it's going to start. going the other direction and you're going to start bombing less and less and having a high percentage of jokes and from time to time you might do i still remember like 93 94 was like my struggle yeah i had started 91 and i didn't really put it together until like 93 and that's when i was trying to make moves they were good moves but i just wasn't really ready for the other moves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I couldn't cover the spread. But I was trying, you know what I'm saying? I don't remember the exact memories, but I will tell you something. If you touch my heart, you can feel the beat that it's, my heart still remembers what those days felt like.

Yeah. Those are fucking rough days, man. Yeah, I, yeah. Trying to figure it out. You know, right now I have to take that feeling like if this is Anthony Robbins type shit. I got to take that

feeling and put it into my fucking brain now in that part of your brain. And this will carry me like those will make me go on the road every week of the month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when Curley smelled the wild hyacinth. Yeah.

It's the same fucking thing. Well, yeah, it's an amazing thing. You know, and you're part of it, Lee's part of it. Lee's seen it. Lee see what consistency is. Yeah. There's no fucking nothing. What are you talking about?

What do you got better to do? We do two of these a week. It's great. You ain't got time to do two of these a week. What else? You don't want your fucking life. I love it. Saving the world.

You ain't going out with that dude on 24. Huh? Are you asking me? He's cooked. I like it. Sure he's cooked. No, no one I've ever said anything about the two we do. We got...

About the what? About the what? I'm always here. I never said that you're with my brother, dog. Come on, you were just saying you want to take that excursion. I got some good Lee impressions. Here's one of them. No, he made the noise before.

When he passed out, he took one long-hand and couldn't have to move. I was up like a soldier. I didn't pass out. I wrote that shit out. He went into a deep zone. Yeah, I went into this. That's a complete different situation. I was sitting there.

If you look, the eyes were open. And I'm even answering, I'm going, yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite nights here ever. People talk about it. It's great when I go on the road. I like that one episode, dude, where you were fucked up on the 24-karrant.

That was great. I'm happy you're back. You got any dates? Oh, this is big, big important. I want to see what I can get going here. I didn't know when I booked this fucking date that it was two days after a three-day weekend, but I'm headlining Bray on.

Wednesday night. Now, I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up people's asses. There was only 10 tickets sold yesterday. So if we can get some people in the room, I'm going to be running an hour on Wednesday night. Even if we can get fucking 10 more, at least it's 20. It's a big fucking room. Come on, if you're local, you ain't doing dick. Put those last $20 on the ATM card.

You get paid on Friday next week. Fuck them. Yeah. Come to Bray. Wednesday night, September 6th, and see me run an hour. Man, it's, it's, and I hope

you guys come out, man, because I love running an hour. Well, yeah, I don't, I don't get to do it enough around here, you know? It's always on the road. You know what? If you watch Dean, he's having a good time. You know, Timmy said that he watched you and you improved the last two times you've seen you.

Yeah. The time before that and the time this time. So, I could tell. I could tell where you're at. you're at the club, you're fucking loose, you know? Yeah, yeah. And that's how you get funny, my friend. So I congratulate you, and that's, I want to open up the month with my brother Dean Delray. Beside we always talk a little fucking music.

And I'll like a shout-outs yet? Nope. No, hold on. No thing you did. Didn't eat, doesn't you? No, no. What you went to the back? Watch your looking, sucker.

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15 bucks what do you give a fuck come on down you're out of there by 930 have a great week stay black be good