The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #518 - Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: September 21, 2017

Chris D'Elia, Comedian, actor, and host of the "Congratulations with Chris D'Elia" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Recorded live on 09/20/2017.


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Get down. Get down. Get down. Kick that meal, Lee. Get down. Oh shit. Get down. Get down. Black people jumping up and down. I love it. Get down. Get down. Chris DeLeah. Yeah, yeah.

Rosh Hashanah boy. The original Christ killer, Lee Syatt. Hello. Oh, shit. Wednesday. The 20th of September. Halloween's around the corner, cop-suckers. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?

Uncle Joey here. Chris Delea here. What's up? out here. Fucking great to have you on the show. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy I was asked. That song takes me back to actually, like, hearing that takes me back to high school,

which would be the second time that song came out again, right? Right. The second time. It was like a reissue. That was a, that's fucking crazy how music can do that, dude. I used to listen to that every day. Did you like that album, the movie when it first came out? You were in All In?

Yeah. No? Not you? I fainted. What do you mean? I can't see fucking needles in blood. So that heroin scene, I went down. The girl on a date put a raisinette in my mouth to wake me up and I came back to it.

So I never really finished the fucking movie. That's a good Raisinette commercial. Yeah. Then I went back when I lived in Seattle and I watched the whole thing. And now whatever is on I watch it. You know what? Honestly, Pulp Fiction is one of those movies, I think, that if you watch it now, it's not as good because so many fucking filmmakers and movies have copied that now it's like so annoying and old. So it fucked it up for watching that movie.

which was the original version of it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you'll watch all these goofy movies like this, and then you'll watch this movie, and it'll be like, ah, fuck, it's another one of those movies. You know what I mean? Like kids would see that shit.

But it was the first of its kind, right? No, it was, I thought it was great. I didn't know who the fuck he was. Yeah. And I thought it was great. And I think I went back and watched true romance or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I came out.

He had a few movies. You know, they're great movies. Even now you watch true romance. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, no, they're fucking awesome. Yeah. It's fucking crazy. You a movie buff?

I mean, I would say no. My brother sees literally everything. But no, I'm not. How many brothers you got? I got one brother. Sister? He's younger. No sisters, no.

And what do you mean? He watches everything. I mean, first of all, he's a filmmaker, a writer, director. But so he just, he thinks, you know, it's his business. But he also loves it. Yeah. But he'll see, I'll just be like, yo, if I want to know if something's good, I'll just ask him. Even though he fucking hates everything.

You know, he's one of those guys. But, yeah. That is a weird thing with people in like the film and TV industry. Even when I went to school, like everyone like they, you get there and like I was so excited to start film school. Like what's your fit? Like every time you have a movie, talk about movies unless it's like breathless or something black and white. They're like, oh, this, that's terrible. It's garbage.

Yeah. What the fuck is breathless? It's a French movie. Yeah. From like that. I remember that. I had the fucking VHS because I used to like love like all that. Like I was a huge.

I still am John Cassavetti's fan. Like I would watch all his movies and I'd. watch them over and over again when I was like 23. And that movie, my dad gave me that VHS and he was like, you got to watch this one. And I never watched it just because it was so, it's like so black and white and so fucking one of those movies.

Yeah, it's not, it's not an easy movie to watch. It's like the 20s, I would think. It's one of the first ones. It's fine when you're learning the history of film, but like, I don't know. It was made with like a Lumier or whatever the fuck those cameras are. Right.

When you hit me with some Casabelli's movies. A woman under the influence was a big one. My favorite one was husbands, which not many people saw. I haven't seen that. It was my favorite one. When I was, my dad had a VHS copy of it and I watched it. And I loved it. And you couldn't even find it back then.

You'll probably find it somewhere now. But it was so, like it came out in like either, I think in that either like, either 79 or like early 70s or something like that or maybe 80. But it was so good. It was about three dudes. one was Peter Falk, Ben-Gazera, and the other one was John Cassavetes, and their friend dies, and they basically decide that they're like, this funeral was bullshit. They didn't even say anything personal about them. So they go out and they kind of like have a night or two of debauchery and they just don't go home to their wives. And then they end up in Paris just kind of like being like these fucking, you know, dudes that are trying to deal with their friend's death.

and it was so good because it was so funny without being, it was just like being a guy. It was like, it's exactly what it's like being a guy. I thought that movie Husbands is, it's to me the best movie that I've ever seen because of that. Because it doesn't try and they're so funny, but they're obviously friends. And Casavetti's had a really good way of doing that. But I even like Killing of the Chinese bookie, which everybody fucking hated. But I love that movie.

I love Benghazara. I love Benghazara is the shit. There's a scene in the killing of the, Chinese bookie where he's in a limo and the whole scene is him sitting in the limo and then at the end of the scene he just says he says I'm terrific and that shit like I'm I'm howling when I watch shit like that um and Cassavetes was so good at at at um at that like machismo male kind of a shit that was his shit that was his shit that's what you love capturing yeah he liked that tough guy yeah I love that shit so he he was always my favorite

Did you ever see Ben Gazzara in that fucking movie with Spike Lee, the 44 caliber killer where they have to go to him? He's the mob boss. He was playing Giangadi. No. Like an off-color John Gadi. In 44, in that stupid fucking movie that Spike Lee did, which I enjoyed the movie, I'm just saying that. I don't know. What is it?

44 caliber killers. That's what it's called? Whatever that dude that killed people in New York. Oh. with fucking John Leguizamo Sam Summer of Sam

Was that Summer of Sam? I saw that Yeah, Ben Garza is in that? Yeah I don't remember that Bengazara is who they go to The mob boss that they go to To

Try to get this help Oh okay And he's like Look at this I enjoyed that movie He's like look at this For years You go to the police

Oh yeah Now you come to me And sit out and boys Have a little spaghetti And he fucking invite them down and you're like Jesus Christ. I love that shit, that Italian shit. You know what's another scene

that I always thought was a brilliant scene that had no comedy involved but just the whole scene is hilarious. Good fellas when they go to the mother's house. Oh yeah, forget it. You're sitting there with your mom but there's a guy in the fucking trunk. Just that alone. Yeah. That alone, that alone

and I could see like we got in the trunk, we got a hair of them. Fuck no. They're pouring ketchup and salt and pepper and asking enough of seconds and shit. Then they ask her for a knife. Ma, we got to borrow a knife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, that whole scene, like the first time you watched it. To chop up that button. Yeah, you didn't know how you felt. Yeah. But now if it comes on... That movie I fucking love, yeah. If it comes on, you watch that scene and go, that is fucking hilarious. My favorite movies, my favorite movies, and this is what Casavetes did this really

well. My favorite movies, you... I don't know, maybe this sounds dumb, but you don't have to watch it from the beginning to the end. You can, like, turn it on, and it's on, and you can watch, like, 35 minutes of it. And Goodfellers is like that to me, you know, and I like those movies. Because it's less about what happens and more about the characters, you know? It's so funny when you get home and Goodfellers is on it.

Even if it's on a pay channel, I always watch to see what time it started. So if it's 10 after 10 and it's started at 9, that means the Billy Bat scene is right around the corner. Because it comes in an hour, an hour, 15, an hour, 10, commercials, they cut them in a couple fuck yous. So, I always, if I look to see what time it starts, if Billy Batson, come on, fucking watch Billy Bats. And that's a shame he died last week. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That guy, like, he made his career. I know. Like, people say, well, you don't want to, what's the expression? People always say, and they're like, you don't want to get a, what's that? Pigeon held. Yeah. Well, he never played a priest. Right.

Like, he never played nothing else but a fucking gangster. Like, that's what you're high. him for. I think and do the right thing he played the guy in the car. That's the movie I've never seen. Do the right thing? It took me fucking, there was two movies that it took you years to sell me. Do the right

thing was the first one. That took years to sell me. Lotho weapon. I refused to watch. Oh, I fucking love lethal. No, I fucking love it. Why? Why didn't you want to see it? I don't know. The trailer maybe? I just didn't. I just wasn't in a fucking mood. That's so funny. I was into

drugs and getting my dick sucked. I was taking 12 credits. I had no time to watch fucking a black cop and a white cop. And then I had a warrant out for my arrest, and I couldn't leave the house, so I had to watch movies. So I said, fuck it, this is a good time to watch movies when you got a warrant. So I went and I got fucking lethal weapon and above the law.

Steve's the guy's first movie. And I fucking, you know, I've always loved Mel Gibson. I don't give a fuck with anybody says. You know, people have bad nights. They say shit when they have three drinks. They do. They just say shit when they have three drinks. and that's why you and I don't drink

because we don't want to say dumb shit I'm fucking pop. With a microphone in your hand. So, but I love, you know, I loved all that shit. I fucking enjoy, like the Godfather. Yeah.

There's a lot of bad mob movies, but there's a lot of good. Well, that's what happened. Exactly what I'm talking about. They fucked it up. There were a few good ones. And now everybody thinks they're going to make the next fucking Godfather

and then it's just like put a bad taste in your mouth. Well, the problem was too. The sopranos was just that good. Yeah, it was so good. The Sopranos took it to such a lot. that they explored every avenue. So even if you were to write something now, what are you going to fucking write?

Look at these humps. They're getting together to do another mom movie. Yeah, that genre is so done. Yeah, it's done. It's done. They can't sell it. Yeah. And every time I get an audition and it says Gino,

right, Gino, Rocco, right, just turn it down. If you're still talking about Gino. Yeah, because you know it's going to be bad, yeah. Or done. It's done. It's done. So that's the fucking thing. But I'm a movie guy, too.

And I like the guy movies. I like Cassavale. Is that the killing of a Chinese? Yeah, I loved that movie. Jesus, I haven't seen that like 10 years. And it was just done about two or three months ago. It was on late night. Oh, really?

Somebody had it on late night. Yeah, I have all those DVDs, man. What made you just stand, though? I just always assumed I would do it. Since you were a child. Yeah, yeah. I always like, my dad tells a story where when I came in the room, he was watching a Jerry Lewis movie,

and I walked in the room, and I was playing with my toys, and I looked up, and I saw him being goofy and just being silly. And I stopped and I looked at him. And my dad like, you know, registered that I was watching him. And I said, and then I turned to my dad and I said, hey, dad, is that, that man on TV is this, is that his job? And he said, what do you mean?

And I said, like, is his job to just make people laugh? And my dad said, yeah. And I said, huh. And I said, and he makes money doing that. And my dad said, yeah. As a matter of fact, he makes a lot of money. And then my dad said I went like this. Huh.

And he was like, that was the moment where he knew that I registered like, oh shit, like you can do that. I wanted to do that because I was already like a cut up. You know what I mean? Even though I was a little kid. But yeah, I never imagined I wouldn't be a stand-up. There's a scene in a nutty professor. Yeah. What was the last time you watched?

I mean, not. I mean, so long ago. Next time you get a minute, there's one scene in a nutty professor when he goes to a psychologist's office. and he goes in. I don't remember. Oh, my godly. And he goes in with a suit. Like, he's a fucking nutty guy.

Right. The only thing I remember is the working out scene. He's like, ha, ha, ha. But now he's like smooth, good look, and he's got like a fucking tuxedo. He's smoking his cigarette. His nails are done. And he goes in to see this guy, and he goes,

Doc, I got a problem or something. I think he got two personalities. And the guy gives him something. The guy says something to him. He goes, Doc, the last time somebody told me that, They gave me a bill for $42. He goes, the guy goes, what did you do? He goes, I gave it to the other guy and told him to split the bill, 21 a purse.

Something stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I fucking died. That's the only part I like for the fucking money profession. I don't even know if I like that movie or not. It's probably so dated though now, right? You know what I wish they would fucking do and that they don't do anymore are like the naked gun or the airplane movies? Those movies, to me, nothing funnier.

And they don't do them anymore. They don't know how to do it. I know. Weren't they trying to for a while? Well, they do, like, the version of it now is like what? Is like the scary movies. Right. Which is just different.

It's not even the same. And I, I, but like the airplane movies and the naked gun and that shit, I don't know. I feel like people think that's corny now, but fuck that. I love it. Even cannonball run. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The second one was corny, but the first one was good. They've forgotten how to.

to do that. We were watching Lenny Bruce before the show. To stand up. You got a camera. I put it on you. You watch a fucking stand-up. What have they done to stand-up now? 22 fucking cameras. We put a camera on top to show the ball spot on you. Who gives a fuck?

Just show me the wreck, cut me up at the waist. You don't got to show them going like this. They can hear it. We've just moved on. Not to mention the fucking cranes are so distracted when you're on stage. They're so distracting. You don't like you probably don't think about this at home,

but like when you're on stage and there was an eye line on my last special where I was looking at it like where I always looked this way. And I didn't realize that I've been doing the act for a year and a half. And I didn't realize that that was where the crane's going to be. And it's just so fucking distracting. It's just so fucking distracting. Because then like it's a crane in the audience. And it's so bright too when you do a special.

What did you do yours? Your last one. Chicago. Where? At the Zanis. Oh yeah? And the other one. Rosemont.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Rosemont. I like Zanis. Roseworth a lot. They're blue collar. Chicago's awesome. The one downtown I bomb. Really?

I go down there just to eat a bag of dicks of things. They just stare at me. The one in the fucking suburbs, they bring knives to stab themselves to stop laughing. You know, the one down there is like a fucking... I can't imagine you bombing that. No, it's a fucking nightmare. There's some clubs that...

Yeah, it's weird, right? Like, maybe it's the room or some shit? There's some clubs that I think at first I used to go, you know what? It's me putting shit. in my own head. It's me going. I don't like that room.

There's some rooms you just fucking die a debt that the war, something is not. I still don't know. I still, I've done stand up now. It'll be 11 years coming up. I still don't know sometimes. I don't know if it's because who's that? The Seinfeld, that's like it's never the room. It's never the audience.

It's always you. I just don't know if I believe that. I don't know if, I don't know if I believe that. Maybe it is true. But like maybe, maybe sometimes you bomb and you're like, I think it's the audience. How is it me at this point? I've done this for so long. Do you know what I'm saying?

I don't know if, uh, just, for example, with comedy movies, not even stand-up. If you go to, like, an opening night, like, I saw Borat opening weekend with a pack theater and I was dying. It's going to be bonkers. People were falling out of their seats. Right. You watched Borat at home. Well, it's not going to be like that. And it's not as funny.

It's just, so I don't know if maybe like some rooms, I don't know, maybe the, the, the, the people in one area were bad, so then everyone around them in a 10-table radius gets weirded out, or maybe there was a lot of traffic coming in. It's a weird, there's a lot of external things that, because I've seen Joey do his act hundreds of times, and it changes, but I've seen it in succession, and there's different nights that go better than, like, we had a, I mean, you did, you changed the set a little bit, but you did the first show and the second show, and the second show for the special, for the special was a lot better than the first. Yeah, the first show was just a fucking nightmare.

So it's a... Really? First show. You put a lot of... Dude, I had the first show on my last special. It was a nightmare, dude. And I was like, what... I literally afterwards was like, my career's over.

I thought so, too. It's so dumb to think that, but like, you do in that moment, I had the mic was cutting out and shit. And I was, like, it was one of the first times where I was, like, yelling at people. Like, in my career. Where I was like, what the fuck? Who's... Who can I yell at for this? Like, I'm yelling and shit.

Yeah, and then the second one went, went well. And then when I rewatched them, the first one, because the mic was cutting out, I had this energy where I was like, no motherfuckers, not today. And we used a lot of that shit because it was way better. Way better. So you never know, but yeah. And it was interesting. We had one of our friends watched the set, and I think they said something to the effect of it.

might have even been the last one where where the crowd isn't that as into it you like the way you told the jokes was a lot more like the way that you had prepared it yeah and then sometimes when the audience is going crazy maybe you ad lib a little bit more so it's it's better in the room but then totally dude that's that's a hundred percent true dude when you you see some of these guys that fucking murder at the comedy store and then they have a special and they're like okay this is my special here we go that's a bad that's a bad that's that's a bad that's That's a bad vibe, man. I have it.

Really? Because here's the thing. Here's the thing that you got to, I think, like, comedians have to realize is when you're doing, when you're doing your special, you're in the room and you're, it's the energy of the room that's feeding to this moment. But you have to remember that people are going to be watching this shit here. They're going to be fucking, there's close-ups of your face. So if you're amped up doing this shit, it's not going to read at home.

You're going to look like a fucking asshole. I remember thinking that because, of something I did because I've been acting. You know what I mean? I've been acting since I was 16. And I remember whenever I would do some shit and then see it, I would see it later on TV. I'd be like, oh, that's what that looks like. I moved my face too much.

Do you know what I mean? And I'm very animated as it is on stage. So, you know, you are too. So you got to think about that shit, like about your face and like, I've seen people fuck up their specials because of that. Well, from my case, it was completely different. In my case, it was that one in there thinking that was Seinfeld. I'm not Seinfeld, dog.

I'm Joey Dias. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you fucking doing something? Who the fuck are you to go up there and do your jokes? Yeah. Precisely. Right, right, right, right. I went up to a second sign, and I go, that's it.

Hmm. I went back there, I smoked a joint. I even smoked the signal. I don't smoke a cigarette. I don't smoke a marlboro light just to bring me back a little bit, and I changed it all up. This was the second show for your second show. You know, focus on the words.

Stop focusing on the first thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know, I know. I know. You know, they always said that Marlon and Brandon didn't know the words. And the words. Godfather. He didn't know his lines,

but he knew the character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you know the character, the words would come out. I was going up there trying to be Seinfeld, trying to be fucking monologist, trying to be, what's a guy that developed,

Chappelle show? Oh, Neil Brennan? I was trying to be Neil Brennan. You know, I'm not Neil Brennan. Yeah. And then the second show, I was like, hold on,

slow that down. This is who I am. It was a complete different ballgame. I saw it. Even though they did use some stuff from the first show. Well, because you don't know. You don't know how it comes across, but yeah, you get in your head and shit.

It's hard when you shoot in a special. It's fucking hard because they're like, this is it. This is the fucking, this is fight night. This is what I've trained for. Do you know what I mean? And it's hard to, even though when you get on stage, you know, you hope to fall into that rhythm to where like, okay, I've been doing this for years. But it's still hard to not fucking think, okay, this is what it is. This is the moment.

This is what the world is going to see. Potentially millions of people are going to see this. People that don't know who you are going to see it and be like, fuck this. fuck the sky you know i mean yeah so really i had the weirdest thing happened to me during my special what ready to run ready for this yeah first special i bomb first taping i go inside i comb my hair i smoke some pot i get my head together i come out the fucking first 20 minutes is gold i'm home free i'm good oh that feels so good guess what happened what these two fucking jerkoffs no right in front of me started fighting.

What? A girl and her boy. Oh, get the fuck out of here. Listen to me. And you did it at Zany, so it's intimate, so. He was like this. That's the thing. And he's Hammond, and she's embarrassed as fuck.

She's a sweetheart that brought a loser boyfriend. She was probably coming by herself. Right, right, right. And then on the way out here, I'll go see that loser with you. Right, right. And now he came and was, you know, he was saying shit. DeLea, I positioned my foot. I swear to my mother's grave, bro.

There was one point, like the, 24 minute mark that I watched the special and I could see it in the face. I even positioned my thing and I was just going to kick him in the face and end it. My career was going to end. Yeah, I get it. Right there. So you saw it on stage? Oh, on stage.

They're fighting. Oh, no. And I'm on stage and I'm watching him. And I finally gave him like a look and I went back and I didn't want it to see on my face. Yeah. I was sweating bullets that my career was going to come to a fucking end. And I go, you know what? I'm going to position my hip and I'm going to kick him right in the front.

fucking face once and for all. Yeah. But in the middle of this store, I go, George, get it together, focus. And I went back to it. And you're telling jokes during all this. I'm telling jokes during this whole thing. And then at the end, I was going to go out there and just choking the dead. And then the staff

came over to me, and they said they didn't know what to do. Yeah, I know. Right. He's right up front. What would happen if they approached them? And now we have a fucking argument. And now I'm on stage. So that's what happened. I was about to kick this fucking guy right in the fucking face. And then the guy over here,

said something to him finally. Oh no. Said, hey, bro. That could have got it together. And I just said, ooh. No, that was one of the worst nights in my fucking life. That, that, that, that, that, I wanted to kick him in the fucking head. I, I get, like, a lot of, like, did this shit drives me nuts.

I get it at shows, but, like, when you're shooting a special, I get a lot of these, woo. And you're like, all right, I don't need this shit for, you're stepping on my punchlines with woo's. Do you know what I mean? These chicks. and they think they're liking you, which they are, but it's like,

I used to have a girlfriend that was a woo. And I couldn't bring it to the country. When people go woo, are you out of your fucking mind? What are you doing? Laugh or don't laugh. That's all I ever want. Don't laugh. You're going to woo?

What the fuck are you on a fucking? You know how fucking stupid you got to beat a woo? You know how fucking stupid you got to beat a woo? You know how fucking stupid? I don't give a shit. I honestly don't give a shit if you're out a fucking Angels game. But fucking moron, if you will. I fucking hate it.

I never understood it. I never got it. I never got the memo on the woo. Have you had whistlers at your shows? Like the people can do, like, I can't even do it. The thing, yeah, that, like, or whatever the fuck. But the thing about that is, at least that's only going to be in the beginning. Okay.

You know, nobody's going to do that shit. If you do that shit in the middle of, I'll fucking walk out and strangle you. But if you, I get my openers to fucking do that shit. I get my opener to come on stage. I'll walk out and strangle you. But, like, yeah, the woo thing happens. every fucking four minutes sometimes. Oh, no.

They just, I've noticed that at some shows. Like, they have, like, instead of a laugh, they have a go-to either saying or noise or they clap real loud. It's really, it's odd. Did you see that? Have you seen the, this is great. Have you seen that Eddie, Eddie Murphy's on stage? It's like, I don't know what it's from.

It's an outtake. I don't think it was on any special, but where he's, and then Charlie Murphy's, some girl says something and Charlie Murphy says, shut up, bitch. And you hear it? And it sounds like Eddie Murphy because it's his brother? What is that from? Dude, that shit killed me. I just saw that. That's so funny. It went viral

like last month or something. God, that shit is so funny. Like right away, just shut up, bitch. Before, when I was telling you, there was two movies I refused to watch. Do the right thing? No. Harlem Knights. Delirious. Oh, oh. What is it? It was in

delirious. It was? Yes. Yes. Yeah. They cut it out of the movie. Oh, okay, okay. Oh, fuck, that's killer. I would not see him. And then I took a sociology class, and they made me watch do the right thing,

and I fell in love with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen it. And then the other one, Harlem Knights, I haven't seen that one either. It was just going to be a bunch of black guys, fucking talking shit. I'm going to relate.

And oh, my God, it's a fucking masterpiece. Richard Pryor's great. Eddie Murphy's great. Yeah. The chick is great. It's a fucking great movie. Red Fox is fucking killer. Yeah.

But, no, I wouldn't watch those fucking movies. I don't know. I'm not watching that shit. Do the right thing. It comes on once a month and I watch it. If I get home, Danny Aiello, John Totoro. Yeah.

It had a great... It's a great cast. Wait, not to be boring, but where'd you grow up? North Bergen, New Jersey. Okay. But I had a lot of action in New York City. Like, when I was growing up,

I was right next to New York City. Yeah. So I was there half the day. Right. So to get drugs, you got to go to all those fucking crazy spots. and you just can't get drugs. You got to buy a slice of pizza and parking a car.

Right, right, right. So I got to see all those places in Brooklyn and the Bronx. Yeah. So when I watched Do the Right Thing, it just taught me how, where I came from, it's 19 different nationalities talking about one another. But at the end of the day, they make it work. That should do the right things about it.

About a black guy going to a liquor store that's owned by a Korean. Yeah. And he tells him I want batteries and the guy can't pronounce batteries. Right. So he goops on him. But at the end of the day, everybody gets along, you know. I was in shock when you said you were from Montclair. Yeah, I know.

Mom, dad, everybody. Yeah. Well, my mom is from Newark, and then my dad's from Queens. Damn. Yeah. And how they ended up in Montclair? So they met at Ithaca. They went to Ithaca.

Yeah. And then, you know, they wanted a place that was good for us. You know what I mean? So we wound up at Montclair. It's a great place. I don't know how it is now. I don't either. I heard it's awesome.

heard that they got that theater now i guess dice was just there they were telling me uh when i was doing the stress factory but um they got some theater there that's that's great apparently but it's montclair upper montclair they got fucking great houses man you know i don't know back then you can get them for a price but now i don't know yeah you're in no fucking yeah probably not i used to play flag football out there i think i played like five games because hell the fuck is gonna get up sunday at eight in the morning yeah when you're 19 and those are the worst days you play flag football you Get up Monday, you think like you got hit by a truck. But there was a guy that was five foot eight.

And he was like a middle linebacker. And he sold cars. He was very sweet. We used to call him Black Sam. That was his name, Black Sam. Turned out he was Sam fucking Mills. He ended up playing for the North Carolina Saints. And he ended up being the smallest lacquer of fucking all time, five foot eight.

That's hilarious. Middle linebacker. Dude, that's crazy. We were playing flag football with him. Wow. That's funny. Did he have a flag football? Where did you play football?

flag football. There was something in Montclair, like a stadium, and there'd be four games at once, like a park. So it'd be four games at once, just a bunch of 19. You know, it's a men's league. You put two flags. The line you could tackle, but you can't use your hands. That's funny. When was?

It's like what year? This is 84. Wow. Dude, that's... 84, 83, around there, 82. But how fuck it... And I know this is... I mean, this is so, like...

This sounds so... I don't know how it sounds. But, like, I was... The fact that you were there in 84 playing flag football, and I was four in the same fucking town. And now we're sitting here doing this fucking podcast. I think about that kind of shit. That trips me out.

Like, that's so wild how people fucking connect. And they were right next to each other, and now they're, you know, buddies and shit. Rogan hangs out with Eddie Bravo. Eddie Bravo's got a black belt. Black kid. Niceest kid in the world. He makes his living, telling people, he's Brazilian.

And he makes fun of him. and he talks Brazilian. Eddie Barber was black? No, his friend. Oh, the kid. Gotcha. Okay, yeah, I was like, what the fuck? We're talking one day.

When I came from Cuba, I got beat up at Central Park. Yeah. My mom put me in karate. His father was my karate teacher. No, that's fucking... That's 50 fucking years ago. I'm 54. That's insane.

How do you even figure that out? We just started talking. Wow. How did you get into Jitsu? Yeah. My father was a karate teacher. Really? Where?

New York City? Where? 90th Street on Upper West Side on Amsterdam. Are you fucking Mr. Orange? Yeah. Oh, no. How do you know my dad? I walked in there when I was five with a black eye.

Wow. And he fucking took me and made me run and punched the bag. That's crazy. So those type of connections are the weird. So weird. And now they have, don't they have that thing now on a, which I kind of like. I mean, I'm not on Match.com, but I saw the commercial for it. Yeah, where you walk by them?

You can walk by people. Oh, yeah. I heard about it. What is it? I don't know. It's kind of weird, but it's like if you are in a certain area with somebody and maybe, I haven't used Matt. But it's probably like if you're in an area with someone and then you will also both like certain things like similar things, maybe they'll tell you. It's called they're ripping off Craigslist.

It's called misconnections right. Yeah. Misconnections on Craigslist. I never, I don't know if anyone ever ever found anybody, but there's a section on Craigslist where it's like. Yeah, somebody. People have definitely been killed on it for sure. You were in Starbucks today wearing a yellow hat and I wish I said hi. Yeah.

And people have met on that for sure. Have they really? Yeah, because that was like a big thing, like, what was it like, I don't know, eight years ago, nine years ago, where people were making fun of... Yeah, before the social media came out, really? Yeah. Yeah. So what made you get to stand up at the age of 25?

Yeah. Why so late? Well, okay, I think it's this. Like, I always wanted to do it. That was always the goal. But I just figured, and this is really stupid now that I am a stand-up, I know this. But, like, I figured, like, it's so hard. Like, I was like, why don't I get credits first?

and then this way stand-up will be easier, which is literally the worst fucking person on stage did that. And so I just worked to try and get jobs as an actor. I wasn't getting dick. So at a loss, I was like, all right, fuck it. I'm not getting any younger. I might as well start stand-up now.

And then I was like one show in. I was like, oh, my God, I wanted to do this. I want to do this forever. So weird. And I wanted to do it forever. but also I started when I was 25 like how old were you when you started?

29 or 30 yeah so I can't so I can't imagine starting earlier than 25 because like I mean these guys like Chappelle and like Bill Hicks and they started when they were 15 it's like I don't know what the fuck

I would have even talked about how crazy is that I used to go to Washington Square Park on Sunday to get Valiums and I would go to McSollies house and I would stare from McSawley's Air House and I would stare from McSawley's

I could see the circle around Charlie Barnett and Dave Chappelle as a kid. I told Dave that. Really? 20 years ago when I first met him. Dave, I used to watch the fucking... Charlie Barnett, until this day, is one of my fucking comedy. The guy that he studied...

Yeah, yeah, no, I know who he is. Yeah. When he was on Miami Vice, I believe he was fucking hilarious. His stand-up was men's amends. You know, they still have tapings of him at Central at Washington Square Park online. And it was pretty funny. just the fact they go to a park and do that shit and run around and talk to different people.

So Chappelle used to do that? Chappelle would be there opening up with Charlie Blatt. As a 14 or 15-year-old or something. That's fucking crazy. Now, I know he was Dave Chappelle at the time. Not a fucking clue. He was the skinny black kid and the comedy with the guy. You know, that's all I knew.

And I went home. And then over the year, somebody said, that's the guy. And then when they had at the Miami Improb, like in 90, and I go, so you were Charlie Barnett? and he was telling me he was trying to develop. They were trying to develop something with Opie. Whatever his fucking name is that.

About Charlie Barnett, but I guess it went. So what would they do? What would they do? They would like stand, like they would be out at the... Click it. Lee, Charlie Barnett, Washington Square Park. Like they'd stand on a table or some shit? They would stand in the middle of a circle.

Oh, wow. Under a fucking like little bridgey thing. And just do talk shit? Talk shit. In front of a hundred tourists. That's wild. ask for dollar bills or whatever the fuck they did. Really? Yeah, I've never seen this.

I heard about it, though. Somebody's got to do a documentary about this thing. Yeah, this is just brilliant. We're in the village. I love the village. We've got a nice mixed crowd. I mean, look what we got. We got white folks. We got black folks.

We got Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans. We got a love. a lot of fucking Puerto Ricans. But I'm not gonna fuck with the Puerto Ricans, man, because y'all born with knives. You cut me up and I won't even know what you're saying.

Me to me, the casino, Epo. And when you finish, you go, What Pasa, bro? Because I got into a fight with a Puerto Rican kid and I was winning. I was bouncing around like sugar-ray linen. I was bam, bam, bam, bam. It was only about that tall.

Then all of a sudden he went like this. and I was surrounded by a small Puerto Rican family of 4,000. I like everything, man. Let me barred it, okay? Dude, this is fucking amazing, dude. I like pocketbooks. I love pocketbooks.

I like the way white women walk with a pocketbook when there's no Negroes around. I don't see no niggers. And you know what else I like about New York? I like the way different nationalities go to work. Everybody goes to work different. For instance, Caucasian businessman. I need some white people glasses.

Look at it. White people glasses. Right there, right there. Is this special or they just taped it? Yeah, what is this? They're like cut to the audience and shit. Damn, you can't see shit. I can touch my dick.

White guys go to work. They got their briefcase. I can walk just like the white man going to work. Watch this, white guys. I love when they stand on a corner and go And how do black folks go to work? We be talking about Fuck it, I should get there by payday.

Wow, this is amazing, dude. That's fucking insane. He's got to have five hundred people, yeah. But it's like, what's crazy is like he's got to project. Do you know what I mean? Puerto Rican. I like Puerto Ricans. Y'all fuck a lot. You have babies like jiffy popcorn.

But like you couldn't do it this way in a club. You know what I mean? I would talk about like knowing the room that you're in. You got to like adapt to it. And it's just interesting to see somebody have to do it outside like this because of that. Now fuck with me. The Japanese are Korean. You all look alike.

Don't worry, I'll be talking about niggas in a minute. In a minute, you'll be going, oh, a nigga, funny now. You imagine this doing this every Sunday, and this is what you build? And people are telling like agents, you got to go down there and see this guy. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking insane. This is it. And look at that, 250,000 views. So, so Chappelle are you to open it for that?

Yeah, that's crazy. If you go to the top one. Oh, wow. How long did he do that for? You got the next time you see him. How the fuck do you start that? It's like a spot. You start out of the street, right?

What are your fight is it? Yeah, how are you know? I'm telling him. I just look at Charlie Bennett. Real, how are you? Oh, Tommy Bill? Yeah, I know. The fire day?

Yeah, I look at this. It's like a love right here. I don't remember you. Yeah, but, and, uh. You and Alwood and everything. Yeah, because I went back to New York. I saw you in the ballot. That was amazing.

Yeah, you and, what's the same? They used to ride the unicycle. That was the box. The unicycle. Yeah, and Washington Square Park, man. I lost the square. I do pay. I quit drinking and smoking, so I do pap.

Work, just behind, you know. Really? They said you were here. And we want, this coming in right now, but we're being in about 20 minutes. But we didn't care. You want to come meet it? We didn't care.

You were coming in and had to get you. How long a flight is it from Hong Kong, man? We see you, man. I don't know, was a pretty tested. To burn up before the flight? You burned one before the flight or no? How about the other guy asking his stupid fucking question? How long as the fucking Google it?

Yeah. He was the greatest. You're the greatest. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, no problem, man. I know the guy that's gonna make a little too. You might, I see a little crap, I'm just gonna run in my car. Okay, thank you.

Take that you, guys. How did you get you, man, everybody? Huh. Yeah, so he was like a young kid, and he'd go up to, I don't know the exact story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember being up there now, like, he's got, it's not just him. He's got a couple guys with him, and years later. To start that, to create that, in Washington, was there, Washington Square Park?

Yeah. It's just crazy. Like, I don't, I know. You know, there's a couple guys that could do that. I can never do that. Go outside and do comedy. And I've seen, like, I grew in Boston, they have Fanio Wall where they have street performers. I've seen a bunch of street performers

and they all have like they're amazing I think a lot of them are amazing they do juggling they have a lot of acts but I've never seen anyone do stand-out I haven't seen it no yeah

now the other guy goes down there isn't there a guy in Venice Beach for stand-up yeah really really years Collier his name was on there also huh because he was like a big time

Venice Beach guy for fucking years he would come to the store and he'd stand outside and people walk and say hello him wasn't a TV person yeah yeah yeah

he had just been at Venice Beach for so many fucking years. That's, uh, wow, that's fucking, that blows my mind. You know, I left the store for seven years. I woke up on Dan, I go, this just isn't for me anymore. I've been coming here six days a week. Yeah, last seven fucking years, you know, Mitchie's great to me. I stopped going to the store.

There was some shit going on down there. I just said before this blows up, I'm getting the fuck out of here. And I just went on my way. And what did you do, by the way? Where'd you go? Like, were you doing the impromes? I had a monthly show at Brea. I had the ha-ha.

I had different rooms. At that time, all these comics had different rooms all over the way. So I just did that. I missed the store. And then I started, Jamie called me. He goes, come to the laugh at it. And that's the first time I would talk to Ari. Ari would always tell me about you.

Wait till you're seeing me and I like them. Oh, cool. And then I went down to the fucking last. Factor when I saw you and I went home My head almost exploded I'm like this fucking kid is animated I gotta get in shape Dang out with these youngsters

I can't just go up there Hold the mic no more Because I hadn't been over that hill no more I never really did the laugh at the way I was either improv or comedy strong guy Jamie never liked me I only used to get spots Monday nights When Gilbert booked the room

Yeah So when he called me to go back there And I started watching him Coming home going Fuck that kid's good Oh, thanks, man. He's jumping up and down out there. I got to lose some weight.

But people always go, well, before I go to Jitza, I got to lose weight. Well, before you go to the store, you've got to lose some weight, dog. Because they got some youngsters down there. There's some animated guys now. I mean, honestly, I mean, look at Sebastian. He's the most animated. But I feel like, but you're animated in your own way. In my own way.

Yeah, you're not jumping around, but you're fun to watch. You know what I mean? Like, it's like some comedians, they could cut an album, and you don't need to watch him, you know, and it works. I don't know if my shit would work, but it adds to it to watch you. Do you know what I'm saying? I always like that about stand-up. Me too.

You know what I mean? I'm an original room guy, too. Yeah, I know the nuts and bolts in that place. Like you, I could still bomb in there, but it's really hard for me because I know all this cheap tricks in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To throw your voice in there. You can do a thousand things in that room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I need to go off, that's the room. that's the room that if I go off and have a heart attack and die, I don't mind. Like, as they're dragging me out, I won't be yelling. I'm like, at least I didn't have my favorite spot. It's not like I was bombing and fucking, what's the other improv in Chicago that's a ball fest?

Seanberg? Yeah, the Seanberg. I've never played it by Sean Burr again. Really? That's four days that you're fucking... Really? Why? Because it's in middle nowhere or what? It's in the middle nowhere.

So you have to... Like, everybody who performs is like, I'm going to Chicago. I'll be in Chicago at night. You're like, no, you're not. You're in fucking Schaumburg where fucking death goes to die. Jesus. Like that's where death goes to die. Like, that's how.

So, like, if you die, if you're going on, like, every time I went into that room, like, I wasn't getting no love. Like, you're fighting for every fucking lap, so you've got to kick it up a little bit. So if you die in there on the way out, you're like, I hate you, motherfucker. Right. But if you die at the story, you're like, this is great. I know it is. It's weird how that is.

Yeah. It's weird how that is. What? Like, you just said it was like one of your favorite room. in the country, and we're talking about how different rooms affect you. Like, what is it about a room that makes it favorite? Here's why I think the comedy store is my favorite room, at least one of them. Because I think it's the only room that I know that I've played that's built for the comedian.

And every other room is built for the audience. Like, you go to the laugh factory, you walk in, you're like, oh, you watch, as an audience member, you're like, oh, here we go. show every other place is like that. But the comedy store, there's that light on you. You can't see the audience. You might as well be fucking anywhere. And it's built for the comedian in that way, which makes it much harder because the audience isn't going to give it up

if you're not fucking real, you know? So that's why I love it. And it also, it has a sense of like, there's like this like, I don't remember who said it, but like there's a sense of, and this sounds pretentious, but there's a sense of like, danger there like somebody's going to throw something at you do you know what i mean yeah there is you know what i'm you know i'm you know i'm saying like you walk into the comedy store as an as an audience member you can walk in in a good mood and walk into that room and and you're literally like

where's my seat what's going on here it changes your fucking mood so it makes it harder and you got to be on the stage as a comedian and break somebody of that you know now it's a little different because they got fucking tvs everyone who goes on is like famous from Netflix and famous from fucking Hulu, whatever the fuck, you know. It's a little different. They got you, rogue and Sebastian, you know, David Spade, me, everybody's fucking on TV.

So it's like, it's a little different now. But, but, but, but, um, back when you, well, before when you were there and then when you left, like when I, when I went in, I got onto the comedy store when you weren't there. When, what year did you? Uh, I probably started going there 2008, nine. And you weren't there. 208, 200.

2008, 2009. And it was like, I mean, nobody was on TV that was doing that room. And of course, standup became really hot, you know, after that. But then it was getting really, it was getting hot. And then we started getting like good fucking comedians. Not that the guys weren't good, but we started getting guys that were recognizable, but also like, you know, like you guys came back, you and Rogan and,

and, and then, and then Jesselnick would come in and, you know, and, and, and, and just guys that we weren't getting because there was a weird vibe there, you know, which is probably the same reason why you fucking left. And then it wasn't that vibe anymore. And, you know, Ali Wong and just the people, and Sebastian blew up and shit like that, you know. And then, and then it became a,

and then it felt like it became a brand where it's like, you know, almost, almost like where it, how deaf comedy jam is. It's like, oh, yeah, I'll watch that. It'll be funny. You don't know who the fucking guys are back then, but you're like, yeah, I'll watch it. And then Chris Tucker exploded and shit,

but it was deaf comedy jam. That was like it goes. Now people, I think, oh, I'll go to the comedy store. It doesn't even matter who's fucking playing, you know? But it wasn't like that. When you were gone, it wasn't like that at all. I mean, there were Friday nights where there were 30 people in the audience. Yeah, I was there too.

It was no different. Yeah. These numbers now are tremendous. Yeah. When I, the reason why I don't go to store a lot, let me tell you why, Chris? Now? Yeah.

I'll say why. Can't work out. Yeah, I know. I know. You got to go in between two murderers. And you've got to bring your A shit. Yeah, I know.

So it kind of hurts that I have to work hard on Friday's Saturday and Sunday because that's the people paying to come see you. Right. But you want to. I know. It was really, there was a fucking charm to it. Monday nights was 90 people. Thursday there was 10 because it was a black Friday.

So the white comics would even call in there like, why would I go down there to get muscled right you know I'd always call him because I knew Mitzie like coast to coast guys Mitzie don't like well give me Thursday early right right Friday at midnight Mitzie oh she wants to see is Sunday to Sunday yeah that's what she wanted to see so when you called in you had to take the Tuesday lump God damn it right eight people had to leave the union which is filled with chicks somebody was giving out blow I got to run over to the store to do a 15 minute spot for eight fucking people yeah but you need it to $15 dollars.

Yeah. That was extra 15. So Wednesday was 60. Thursday was 75, 80. And then after midnight, 18, strong till 2. But that was, I loved doing that, man. I loved doing that shit. I would take those fucking 1245 spots when I was coming up.

They were the shit. They were the shit. There was nothing like that, man. And now, now you don't do those anymore. You don't do those anymore. You certainly don't do them in that room anymore. But, you know, you're not going to play. I would.

You would. You would, but they're going to give you the 1030 spot. You know what I mean? Let me tell you some, 13 people at one in the morning. Awesome. When they've listened to every fucking joke in the world. They've already heard the Kardashians eight times. They've already heard Copernicic didn't get up.

They already heard about the Rams. They heard about the Hurricane Elma. They heard about everything. You got to go up there at 1 o'clock. And whatever you were writing on that stupid piece of paper all day. All been done. Seven times. You got to rip it up and just go up there.

And that's when you get, Lee, you get so fucking good. Is it, well, yeah, I honestly miss that. And I think about that all the fucking time. Like, just calling Adam and going, I want one a.m. Yeah, but it's also, it's also different now because, like, people know who you are and people know who I am. So if you're going to do that, it's still a little different. I mean, you're never, I always say, like, you're never, you, it is true, though.

You're, you're, you're never better than fucking trying to make 11 people laugh, you know, like, no matter how big you get. Like, they're still not going to laugh if it's not funny if there's 11 of them in a room. But still, it's a little. different. It was cool going. It was cool going knowing that those 11 people at 1230 were thinking, who the fuck is this guy? And now, you know,

even if three of them know me from whatever, you're not going to get that anymore. Do you know what I mean? But there's nothing like whipping 11 people up into a fucking frenzy. Jesus Christ, I love it. The best. Sometimes it was four people. Four people. And they're dying and you're dying. And at that point, you just take the chair sit on stage.

You're like, fuck, let me just say. and talk to you guys. I saw so many. When I first started at the comedy store, I used to be kind of scared to go down there some nights because I never really knew what was going to happen.

Like one night Dave Tyree threw a bottle of Joe. Oh, Jesus. Another night I was up on stage and got walked up and said, take your dick out. And I go, before I take my dick out, you show me your pussy on stage.

She goes, okay. Friday night, 1245. original room. She pulled her pants down to her ankles. And then people started clapping. Joey, take your dick out. I had to take my nuts sack out. Bobby Lee and Rogan on the side,

throwing money at the stage because Bobby was on mad TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, I told the chick you can't pull your pants down. Right. You got to leave them down until I put my dick out. Jesus Christ. So she's sitting up on stage with her pussy out pierced with the piercing out. Like, it was nothing.

Were you talking about your dick or something? No, no, nothing. I just walked up on stage. She was hammered. She was with her boyfriend, and if you take out your dick, take out your dick. I'm like, take out your pussy, bitch. And she fucking ripped up that fucking pants and took them down. And when I turned around on stage, you know the patio?

They were all by the glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, holy shit. When I walked off that night, I walked off like 80 bucks and I was happier than fuck. Wow. I did better than if I would have done material. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They went fucking nuts.

I want every fucking night in the original room. There was this dude, Vinnie Faberita, that would bring a fart machine in and put on the people's chairs in the original room. And then they would wait for Brian Oltsman to go out. And they would start pressing the fart machine and he would go fucking crazy on stage. You never knew what the fucking expect at the store.

Yeah. And now you don't get that. No, you don't. Yeah. It was even like that in 2000. 2008 a little bit, but I mean, I'm sure it was even crazier back before that. How much of it has to do with, like, I love Fenway. I don't want them to tear Fenway down.

I'd still get to watch the Red Sox, but there's a feeling when you go into Fenway. Is there a feeling when you go into this? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I worry that what will happen to that place in the next few years. But, I mean, now I feel like it's fine. But like, in 2010, we were all like, I wonder what the fuck's going to happen to this place because it was like a ghost town. There's a ghost time.

It's really weird to see what happened. 2007 was he. seven was even a fucking worst ghost town. I remember I was there when Paulie had a Halloween party and he served liquor and the parking lot so the city closed

the comedy store of no booze for 60 days. Because he did that? Oh Jesus Christ. No booze to December 28th. Oh my God. That's like the good time too for them. Yeah, from fucking November 10th to December

29th. Oh, I must have been Brutal sodas. And you gotta go up on stage for fucking a two soda minimum. No food. No food back then. So, I mean, that, there was, the audience must have been so light. 15. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. For fuck sake. Jesus Christ. 15. The night. People were running out, drinking from a bottle in the hallway in the hallway. No booze for two fucking months. Oh, my God.

Nobody remembers that. No, I didn't even know that that happened. Yeah, yeah. When was that 2007? Oh, no, this had to be 2001. Yeah, way before. Yeah, had to be way before that because I was this one. The store was fucking dead.

Yeah, I heard that from, I heard that, that it was so dead in the early 2000s. And I caught, uh, I caught the tail end of the Tupac days. Wow. Tupac got into a shootout at the store. No. The bullet's still in there. They threw Eddie Griffin out for that one. They banned any, wait a minute, hold on.

I never heard this. I'm a, Tupac's my favorite. Fuck yeah. What happened? Tupac got into a shootout at the store one night. How have I never heard this? Eddie Griffin invited them to the fucking store while Tupac is in there.

Three bullets went off from across the street and they blend on Eddie Griffin. Siddy Griffin got banned for bringing Tupac in there. Are you shitting me? No, true fucking story. Holy shit. Tupac used to go in there with Eddie Griffin. Oh, man.

That's fucking... How crazy is that? That's amazing, man. I saw Mariah Carey in there one night with Eddie Griffin. I saw Michael Wouching there. Oh, so I fucking, I performed for two people one time late at night in the comedy store, and one of them was Dr. Dre. It was Dr. Dre and whoever he was with. And I was like, I don't want to go up.

And they were like, and I think it was Don Barras. She's like, no, man, I know why you don't want to go up, but you got to go up. You're a fucking comedian. And I was like, you're right. I'll go up. And I went up and I just had a conversation with Dr. Dre. And it was actually cool because then I talked about this on my podcast, I think. but after I got off stage, he was leaving.

And there was, I, like, it was like maybe, there were maybe like two other people in the audience. It was like, there was nobody there. And then they live and everyone was like, hey, Drey, can I get a pick? Can I get a pick, Dr. Drey? And he was like, no, no, no. And he walked out. And he took a few steps past me out the comedy store, patio, past the patio.

And then I was like, fuck it. I'm going to ask. Maybe like, he'll appreciate that I was on stage or whatever. And I was like, hey, Dre. and he literally like a movie stopped and turned around and looked at me and I said is it cool if I get a pick and he fucking went all right man and he walked back and took the pick with me it was a cool moment because it was like it was like in my head I don't know he probably didn't think this but in my head it was like I respect that like you know I'm a performer and he was up there went up for two people you know what I mean it was a cool moment for me that he said no to everybody else have you seen up to anybody else just lately I saw Quentin Tarantino um Mark Ruffalo is there recently with somebody else. I think he was there with Chris Rock. But, yeah, no, it's just been, Dr. Dre was the wildest to me.

But there was one night there, now that it's popping, you know, there was one night there that James Franco and, like, Leonardo DiCaprio was going to be there, and Elon Musk, they were all there together or some shit. It's so fucking weird. It's so weird now that you can go to the comedy store and literally end your career with a bad set with all those fucking people in there now.

It's like sometimes sometimes some nights it's a fucking star-studded event I was in that when Tom Cruise came in Really? To pee That's hilarious when With the cold kidding Years ago Yeah

Yeah yeah On the Sunday night 13 people in the audience Wow I'm on stage And I see them walk into the thing in the original room And then he ran up the stairs and ran for the bathroom So when I came out of the thing I go

And you were on stage or no I was on stage Oh wow And I saw what I thought was Really? That's funny and I fucking got off and then I forgot about it

and I went into the bathroom like 10 minutes later and he popped out of this shit Wow I forgot about it and he said something to me like he recognized I was on stage Yeah yeah yeah I said something back to him and that was it Oh wow

And him and her left I saw Bon Jovi in there because his brother used to be the manager Who? When I first started at the comic store Matt Bon Jovi was the manager there Really? Yeah he's running a strip club now in Atlanta

Oh my God, I didn't know that. So Matt Bon Jovi was the manager at the store. So fucking John would come in. Matt Bon Jovi. That's hilarious. How fucking crazy is that? And he came in one night with that chick, the one that Brad Pitt dumped for fucking Aniston.

Before her. Oh, uh, Poutreau. Poutre. He came in with Gwintero. They were doing the movies. Oh, wow. Whatever the fuck they came in. Who else did I see in that?

I saw some crazy fucking people. Chris Cornell? Uh-huh. Wow. 1998 sitting in the corner with a hat on, not saying a fucking word. Who was... The guy from the chili peppers used to...

Yeah. Always go. Always. The singer. Always, always, always. Anthony Ketus. Anthony Kitas. Yeah, it's fucking weird, the people you see up there.

Oh, oh, oh, one time I got off stage and this dude with a cast on is like, bro, you're fucking hilarious. Are you fucking... And I'm like, this fucking asshole. I'm like, thanks, man. And I look in at Shailabuff. I'm like, oh, shit.

I'm like, what's up? bro, thanks. My attitude change. Such a fucking fake Hollywood moment. But I'm like, get this fucking guy out here. Oh, you were in Transformers? What's up? I'm surprised to hear you guys, because you've been here in L.A. for a while.

I don't think you get starstruck anymore. But is it, like, exciting to perform for these people? Sometimes. Sometimes. I mean, like I said, when you go on stage, it usually morphs into just another show because that's what you do. But, like, yeah, sometimes, like, I remember when Dr. Ray was just like four people in the room. but like Quentin Tarantino when he was there I was like I want to do well because he's in there

you know what I mean? Or like if or even if it's a comedian that like like if Chris Rock is in the room you're like I don't want him to think I suck. Do you know what I can understand the comedian definitely. But I don't know. Oh you know what? I had a meeting once. This is so weird what fucking happens in Hollywood.

Like I had my agent called me. This was years ago and they were like, hey you. So Francis Ford Coppola is doing. a new project. They don't know what it is yet. It's like a really long script. They might do a miniseries. They might do this and that.

They're interested in Italian-Americans. And they, Francis Ford Coppola's guy wants to meet you and kind of like see what you're all about. So I went in and I met with this guy, Fred somebody. He like produces a lot of his movies. So I met with this guy.

We were talking about stuff. We just had a conversation. No reading, no nothing. And he was like, okay, cool. buy. Then I get a call, okay, so Francis Ford Coppola wants to come see you perform. And I'm like, are you

fucking kidding me? Okay? This is the weirdest thing ever. I'm like, all right, okay, okay, like, what am I going to say? No? Like, yeah, I'm nervous now because Francis Ford College directed Grace movie all the time. Right. So he shows up and ever

the whole comedy store is like, Francis Ford was here to see you. I'm like, I guess so. I don't know what the fuck's happening, right? So he comes and sees me do stand up. And I get off stage and he leaves. He gets off. He came to see me. Weirdest fucking thing.

So I'm like, what should I do? I remember my brother was there. And he was like, you should go say hi or something? So I was like, okay, I'll go up and I'll say hi. So I walked up and I was like, hey, I appreciate you coming. Thanks a lot. And he was like, oh, of course, great job or whatever he said, you know. And then I did it.

And then I got a call to do like a table read with Francis Fort Coppola. And I show up. I'm like, I don't know who's going to be in here. it was in a room as big as this okay the table was almost as big as the room the chairs were like I mean we had like this much room it was it was

umma Thurman Joe Montania uh leave Schreiber um Jason Gordon Levitt what's that guy's name Jason Gordon you know who I'm talking about Yeah it's Gordon Levin It's something else

Um and Joseph Joseph Gordon Levitt And then Philip Seymour Hoffman like two months before he died and and fucking me. I don't know what's going on. Nothing happened with the, it was, and it was a 400 page script that we read. It took eight hours. And I'm sitting there with all of these stars.

And I'm like, this is amazing. But by hour five, I was like, what the fuck is happening? Like this is the, it was so. And everybody and, and, and I was. playing like all the ancillary parts like that were like all the parts that were like yeah i'm i'm meet you over there there's some shit or like pizza you know basically these parts and uh it was so wild man it was it was all day there was a break in the in the middle of it was it was like a break where like we were like we were eating pizza and drinking a coke and

it was just it was crazy and then fritz for a couple of signed bottles of wine and gave them to us gave it to my dad did you uh get the part no because it never became anything It was just like one of these things that like all these Hollywood elite and fucking me. It was a weird. It almost feels like I dreamt it. Like why the fuck? I still to this day have no idea how I got involved. Have you ever walked out of a room and said what the fuck just happened?

Like in a Hollywood way? Yeah. I mean that was one of those. But it was. What about going to the store? Getting hammered till two, doing drugs, smoking pot. You have a call back at 10 in the morning. day on sunset and western

for a fucking stupid Travolta movie. You get there and it's Travolta and who directed fucking drugstore cowboy? He's still relevant. He does something every couple

fucking years. It is. Gus Van Sant. Oh yeah, Gus Van Sant. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in the room at 10.05 in the morning. And you didn't know. Not a fucking clue. Your age is probably just like, yeah. I'm born to producers. The other guy who's reading is Billy Gardell.

Oh, yeah? So Billy and me were fighting for the fucking same role. They didn't decide to give us both the role. Just to be two stand-up comics or Travolta's... Oh, really? What movie was it? This is called the Jimmy Roselli story. Huh.

Three months of casting, contracts signed after the holidays, and the call January 3rd that said... It's not happening. Happening is doing the Scientology movie instead. Oh, Battlefield Earth? Battlefield Earth. Wow. That's why we didn't do Jimmy Roselli. Wow.

But another time I had a B going and Be Cool. Same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were in that, right? No. Oh. I lost it. The guy died who they gave my role to.

Jesus. That guy was great, though. He was a great guy. I forget. He was, I did a Chas Palm and Terry movie, and he was in that movie, and we shared, like, it was like a big trailer. And they, like, just, I only had, like, one line. Yeah. I said just sit with him.

He made me feel like I was fucking Brad Pitt. I had one fucking line. I threw a guy off the pier. And he was in there. And he was on a show on CBS for a long time. Great character actor. I go down to fucking Be Cool. I walk in.

And there's the little guy. It's always sunny in Philadelphia with fucking Travolta again. DeVito. DeVito. I'm like, I hate doing this shit. You didn't know. No, they don't fucking call you and tell you. I know, I know.

That's hilarious. I was telling Ellen Lodi and I remember reading for the Sopranos producers. And, you know, like, it was just, I was here 97, so it's 2001. And I'm in the room and this is all you can hear. Yeah. From my handshake from the fucking script. Those two times were script shakers also. Wow.

I hate when they call you with that fucking, and you get there. There's somebody completely different in the fucking room. There's hate people. and you're like, what? I got a call one day, and they go, hey, man, are you available to do table read tomorrow? Sure, okay, we'll call you back later.

They call it back again. Are you available tomorrow, yeah? We'll pick you up at one. Pick me out. And they're like, oh, by the way, we're going to do the table read, and then you're flying to fucking Santa Fe to shoot the movie.

Right from the table read. Are you serious? So I packed my bags again. I don't know, Dick. Yeah. I had 35 hours to go to Santa Fe, and three cigarettes and two joints. Wow.

They picked me up in Hollywood. would a car picks me up i tipped the guy the 20 so i'm down to like 15 dollars i walk in the fucking room and the first person i see is that chick the old lady who's real getting real famous now for being she showed her tits to gregg garcia remember he was saying that she's in raising hope oh the old the older lady the older lady she's in there i'm looking at michael lervyn when i did the longest yard they told me it was snoop dog they go the movie's got Snoop dog in it. That's all we know so far.

Adam Sandlin, Chris Rock. When I got to there was no snoop dog. It was Michael Irvin, Nelly. I'm looking at fucking Bert Reynolds. I'm looking at the guy from Warriors in 48 hours. What a trip. I'm looking at all these people going, oh my God. Chloris Leachman?

Cloris Leachman. I go, what are they going to find out? I'm a bus dot and asked me to leave. Yeah, that's how I feel. I got $15 in my pocket. I'm sitting next to Michael Irvin and Bert Reynolds. I'm sitting across from Romanoxie. I got all these fucking people.

people around me. This guy over here, the fucking camera guy, the Australian guy was telling me earlier, Mel Gibson jokes. Wow. He was the guy that did the he was the camera guy on the road warrior. Yeah. And the first

two, whatever the other one was. Mad Max and the Road Warrior. So this guy came up to me, we were talking like, were you Australian? Wow. And I'm sitting in this room going, when is the fucking roof going to fall on my head? Yeah. Like that's how you feel in those situations

Yeah Especially when they come to you and tell you you did a good job Yeah Yeah When the actors come up to you go bro, that was a good job You still feel like that's gonna happen You still feel like the roof's coming down? All the time

When I'm in a room like that I always think the rooms are gonna fucking come down Do you think like Tom Cruise still feels like that? I wonder Does Tom Cruise walk in now and he owns it After 20 years? I hope so I hope there is that

I hope there's that For him Do you know what I mean? Like At some point point, like, I hope everybody gets some sort of... Butterflies? Well, I think everyone does, but I would hope that you calm down or...

I don't know. Maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to get butterflies. But it would be nice to be Marlon Brando. I always get butterflies to calm me, so... You do? No matter who's up in front of me. Really?

To the point, I have to bring an anxiety pill and put it in my fucking pocket. Wow. When I walk those stairs, those little three stairs, it lights out. Yeah. It's lights up. with Joey. Weird because you're so confident on stage. You know what I mean?

Like that's so odd that it's like that. I mean, I get that way every now and then, every now and then like. The butterflies of the anxiety. I don't know. A little bit. Yeah, a little,

I feel like I get both. I'm short breathed when I get up to. Yeah. When I first get to the original room, doesn't matter who's on stage. Really? No matter what I wrote, no matter what I think.

As soon as I get to the original room, and I sit in that little fucking section, Mitzis chairs, my heart starts pounding. My breath goes out from under me. I can't catch my breath. And what I actually went to fucking a piano player. And I go, dog, tell Paulie, my anxiety's too bad.

Really? I got to get on stage. And he told Paulie, and Paulie comes back. He's like, what's the matter, bro? I go, Paulie, she's got the fucking light. Do me a favor and go up there for me. Let me figure this out. I couldn't even breathe.

I had like a white towel on my head. That's, what is it? Fear. Really? So if someone's crushing, I get that way. Like you last night, when I followed you, I was like, Then I got I was like I got a fucking alright I don't want to be a piece of shit

No but you had such a good time I said it was fun it was fun it was fun it was fun it was fun it was fun Yeah I had a good I had a good set but but you know If somebody's crushing Which you know Nine out of ten down that Yeah especially the lineups now I know I know I know

I'm either following you or Ali or fucking Bill Burr or fucking Sebastian it's like You just you got so yeah so now I get it more often than I used to But not if it's if they're not crushing If they're having a fine set I'm like, I'm good. No, I'm dying back there. Even that.

Whether you're, if you're bombing and getting booed, I'm still, I'm more scared than you are. Like, I'm back there going, my son, Chris, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm worried about you. Plus, I'm getting anxiety. So now, even last night at the store, I went up and Hallie Wong was doing great. Yeah. I caught a lot. The first minute that I was up there, my heart was pounding.

That's fun. My stomach was growling and shit. I did that too last night. But also, um, I often don't watch the guy before me because I don't, I just, I got to be in the hallway. I don't want to, I don't want to have to watch it and then think things and then go up with a fucking mood. I should just be, you know, um, Tommy told me the old manager of the comedy store would, would tell me like, you should be in conversations with people before you go on stage.

And I was like, dude, I think he's right. Because like, I wasn't thinking I'd be just talking and be like, oh, okay, I'll go on stage now and just bring that energy. Um, yeah. I like to get fired up. I like people to fire me up a little bit. You really want me to do well, do something that aggravates the fuck out of me. Like, don't, if you're like, let's pray for Joey the bomb, don't aggravate me. Bring me like ice cream and shit of a sandwich.

But, like, if you want, like, text me before I go on stage, I'll fucking go up and blow that room apart. Like, do something to me I don't like. I don't ever forget what that. You don't like getting texts? Is that we saying? Yeah, I don't like none of that shit. That's why I disconnected the thing. Like, I'm done.

And it's funny. One night in San Francisco, I was bombing. and I saw Rogan and Red Band had matching phones and I'm like these motherfucking faggots and I went on stage I was so pissed at them for having matching phones Rogan's like what the fuck happened to you

I go you motherfuckers you got matching fucking phones I can't get pissed off before like if I get pissed about something before I go on stage that's it that's it so I like the talk thing I like when somebody brings it out of me

yeah yeah yeah yeah like when somebody says something to you that gets you pissed off like that yeah yeah yeah that fuels you to be funny, sure. Yeah, especially if you're that kind of, you have that energy anyway to where it's like almost feels like you're arguing.

Do you know what I mean? Yes. Yes. So that's good for you, for sure I could see that. I gotta tell you, man, you just shocked me tonight because for a comic of 11 years,

you have great maturity and composure up to that. At 10 years, I wasn't doing what you were doing. Not at all. Really? Not at all. Thanks, man. I didn't start doing that to like 17, 18 years. Like, you had me fucking fooled. I thought you started when you were like 18.

Yeah. head up in Encino, you know, fucking 24 up and up at some Greek restaurant, hosting this some shit. You have a great fucking composure for that, man. Thank you. Where'd you get the name Man on Fire? Is that your favorite movie like me? So, yeah, no, I do love the movie.

But the reason was because of, I always had, I've, I've always had this, like, notion where ever since I was a kid about how, like you could be so like sometimes you walk into a room and you're like all right this is my fucking time to shine like whatever the fuck you're doing you're walking in a cafe feel that way you're like i'm gonna walk into this cafe and it's gonna be my i'm gonna be the guy in the cafe i'm the fucking guy who walks in this cafe and the cameras are on me this is all in my head but i walk in i order a fucking sandwich and everybody knows i'm ordering a fucking sandwich and this movie's about me that's just what my sometimes and then you realize nobody gives a fuck they're all in their own shit and they're all fucking they all and so so I came up with this thing where I would be like you're not

you're not fucking who that fuck I'm not Denzel Washington like I'm fucking Christelie I'm just some guy to somebody else I'm some guy and so so my whole the whole idea of like you're not the man on fire you're just the fucking guy

who's going to get a bagel or whatever the fuck was funny to me and so I thought what's the funniest movie to do that with and I thought Denzel it's got to be a Denzel character because it made me laugh and then I was like oh man on fire is great and then one night on stage I just said it I was like you're not the fucking man on fire and I was like

I think that's it I don't know it was an idea that I like besides the fact that I would make them I would try and make the material funny it was the idea behind that that I thought oh it kind of means something to me so it made me charged to do the material you know

you're a fucking trip what's next to be my brother I don't know I'm doing like we were talking about before this podcast I've been enjoying doing my own podcast

I mean I'm on episode 35 or something but it's fun it's fun to do my own podcast is called congratulations so I've been doing that I have another TV show

in development that I kind of shouldn't say too much about because I don't know what's happening with it yet but so I'm doing that and then just working on stand-up I got tour dates and shit

Is that the YouTube Red shit? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so I think YouTube Red's gonna be a great fucking channel yeah I do too man, I walked into the meeting skeptical about, like, I don't know about, because, you know,

you think YouTube, he's like, I'll upload it myself. You know what I mean? But then they were talking about all the motherfuckers that they're working with, like, the guys that, like, have shows coming out on there, like, Doug Lyman and shit. And, like, you're like, all right. I think, I think, honestly, they're going to be a force to be reckoned with. I think so, too. Yeah.

I think so, too. Yeah. So. I think it just makes sense. Yeah. And you two, how much a month now? I mean, I like to do two weekends out of a month. That's all I can do.

Yeah. That's all I can do. I got this movie in May and I had to reschedule a bunch of shit. And every time I had to reschedule, I was in Toronto for like five weeks, so I had to reschedule like two or three dates. And every time I do that, I'm like, whatever the club wants, just I feel bad. And they all picked fucking September. So this month I'm like killing myself every weekend. But yeah, I like to do like two a month, you know.

And then I don't know. I'm working on material. I figure out I'll do another special at some point. But like I've done three. I don't want to do like. I'm not trying to rush anything, you know what I mean? Three, I've done one. That's the only one you've done?

Really? Yeah, everything else was just. So when you go now, you go... Oh, yeah, yeah. So when you go now, you do new shit? Do you do some of this stuff from the special? No, I'm done. No, you're done, yeah.

I'm done. That was the worst. That was the worst period of my life after the special. A.D., after a special bitch, those first 90 days were brutal. It's tough. Because you really want to kick that material. You're like, I'm done with this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you got nothing. nothing else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go back to it and you're like, damn it. Yeah. So for three months, you're wrestling with yourself. I think I shot in October and I think I was a mess till February. Wow.

February, I started getting my bearings back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But before that, I was like this is fucking starting from. Well, it's weird because now when you drop something, everybody fucking sees, if they're fans of yours, they see it in the first three days. So now if they're coming to see you in fucking Austin, they're like, where's the new shit? You're like, oh, fuck, it's three days after my special came out.

You know what I mean? How fucking crazy. I know. It's fucking crazy. They used to catch it on a Tuesday night at 9 o'clock. You know, maybe 10 people seen it in the fucking club. But now everybody's seen it. And they're getting them out quickly too now.

Like yours was out a couple months after you shot it? Six weeks. No, I know, yeah. Six weeks? I shot October 19th. That came out December 6th. That's insane. I was in shock.

I thought mine was quick. When they were like December 6, I was like, what? Wow. Yeah, they started fucking editing that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as soon as they fucking. As soon as they just started it in that night. So, yeah, I would assume, like, comedians used to have a lot longer to build the next hour

because it had to get edited and then broadcast or in the movie theater, and that can take up to a year sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking next time to really write, like, an hour of 45. Right. And then do, yeah. Do 50.

Yeah, I did that. Keep 30 and go, at least I got something. I did that after my second one. I had, like, so much other material, or after my first one, something like that. But yeah, I had so much other material. I was like, I could just put this one on the second one. I think it was after the first one, yeah. Were you at this weekend?

I'm doing colleges. I'm doing, I'll be in Philly and Dallas, but then I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina. Next weekend. Like in two weekends or something. So you got some time. Yeah, I got finally, yeah. Good for you. Yeah, yeah.

And how was the movie you did? It was good. It's actually called Life in a Year. I think it comes out the beginning of next year, but it was Will Smith produced it. It was with Car de Levine and Jaden Smith and Chubuigan and me. It's cool movie You like doing movies I mean

That was a drama So it's cool I like that Yeah I love doing it I just want to do Like if people are like Don't you want to do comedies And you're like

I already do the best version of that I do stand up I do what I think is the funniest shit Already Would I want to be in a fucking movie Where there's seven guys And someone else wrote it And then they're like

No don't say it that way Say it this way The fuck you're talking about I do stand up That's not comedy I do stand up Like I do the bio, okay, cool, let me shoot this. And then tomorrow, let me go play the fucking theater and do exactly what I want to do.

So it's like, I only want to do stuff if it's like interesting to me. And this movie was, the character that I played was really interesting. And it's a drama. And I'm like, and so people are like, the movies about Car de la Vina is dying. And so people were like, did you have fun on the movie? It's like, it's not fun doing drama. That's not the right word. But it's definitely, you know, it's interesting.

And it makes you feel a certain way that, like, I'm happy I did it for sure. But it's not like, you know, you're doing scenes where like, she's dying and you're crying and then it's like cut. And then you're like, okay, let me go back to my trailer and just chill for a little bit. And so it's not like when you're shooting a comedy. It's just like everyone's fucking rambunctious and making fun of each other. But yeah, it was fun. I want to do drama. That's what I want to do a lot of dramas.

I want to do action. That's what I want to do the most is action. Really? Fuck yeah. Would you be like the comedic relief in the action? It doesn't matter. I want to have a gun. I want to run after somebody on a bus.

That's what I want to fucking do. I want to do that so fucking bad. You're ready for Leto Weapon. Yeah. Just remake the movie. Yeah, let me do it. So far. I want to do it so bad.

How many movies have you worked on? I don't know. Seven? What do you like more? Movies or TV? I mean, TV's cool because it comes out quick. You know? Like when you're on a show, it comes out every week.

And then movies, I did a movie three and a half years ago. It still didn't come out yet. We just got a distributor. And it's a fun. You know, it was a good movies. It's got a good cast. You know, it's like, what's happening with this shit? How is it doing TV live?

That must have been fun. It was insane. Yeah, it was so fun. I mean, if you're going to do a multi-camera sitcom, I think that's the way to do it. You know, it's just high octane. We shot it, and it aired while we shot it.

I mean, it's insane. The last season was relatable, I think. The last season was outdated, yeah. That's right. I forgot all about that. Yeah. Yeah. You would shoot it live,

and millions of people would be watching it. And they were like, don't say fuck, because that NBC gets charged $7 million. And you're like, damn, I could fuck this up. You know? Yeah. So I would die. I would say I can't.

Bro, we'd get the script. We'd get the script. No bullshit. Sometimes we get the script that day. The creator would be like, hey, sorry. And I'd be like, it's okay. But like, I remember looking at him, Bill Lawrence, the creator of the show and being like, I'm going to. And thinking and saying this.

I'm not. And saying, I'm going to, I said, I'm going to try my best. Like, it's not like. imagine saying that to Stephen Spielberg in a movie. He'd be like, oh, you're fired. But like, you're like, oh, I got the script today. All I can do is do my best. You'd have monologues and shit.

And I said, I'll try my best. I remember saying, I'll try my best. And I remember him looking at me and saying, yeah, that's all I can ask for. And then we shoot at fucking 6 p.m. or whatever, live on the East Coast. And you're doing monologues. And you're like, I think that's when you talk about like knowing the character. you wouldn't even memorize the lines. You'd just memorize the intonation

and the idea of the line. Because you're like, as long as I know what the scene's about, yeah, it was fucking crazy. So fun. You'd cut, we'd do one scene in a bar, cut to another, you're in the next scene. You have to run over, change your jacket, and be like, hey, what's up, guys?

I'm just cooking food or whatever the fucking scene was. It's so funny. It's so fun. And then the audience loved it when they could see you fuck up, of course. You know, you're still putting on your jacket. There was one scene where the guy was still putting on his jacket. You know, it's fun.

Now, what was the last show to shoot that way? When you were shooting, I know they had a drop history of you. Yeah, I think the last one that did it, and I don't think they didn't do it, they didn't do every episode. But I think the last show that did it was that show, remember that show Rock with Charles S. Dutton? Yes. I think they did one or two episodes like that. Right, 30 Rock did two. Right, but that was not a multi-camera live.

sitcom with an audience. Oh, go. But yeah. Like, ER did it too, but that's, you know, our drama. Didn't Desi Arnaz do that shit? Oh, yeah, way back then.

Yeah, that's how they did it. The honeymoon is and shit. I think that's how they did it. That's right. Because I heard a story one time that that was Rout's main thing, that the honeymooners would be on TV, and he would never have the last scene or something crazy. He would run to the bar as the credits were rolling.

Oh. And fuck with the bartender. Oh, got you. So that was, I wasn't sure if that was why. I wasn't sure before I said it. That's why I wonder if they said, well, you guys are going to be in the elite history of TV shows.

I know Ricky Ricardo did it. He had three, because he started the three-cramers shoot. Oh, really? Yeah, if it wasn't, if Ricky was the one that said, why is that only one white guy on a camera? Oh, really? Let's put two more white guys and get the party started. Why aren't we fucking sit in here?

So I know he had to be a three camera. I don't know what the honeymoon was. I think the honeymoon was one camera, something like that. Chris, man, I wanted to have you on here for a long time. I think you're an interesting little motherfucker. Thanks, man. No, I appreciate you.

I always wanted to do it. You fucking make me laugh my ass off. Yeah, well, likewise. I went down there early last night because I just saw the thing that Chris DeLea, go, let me go down there early. There's nothing I like more in the world. Like, nothing pisses me up more.

When I get really high, go down there, an hour and a half early in those back seats are taken. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My fucking blood pressure boils, you understand? because nobody knows that I just want to go back there, sit. If I could have a beard and a hat and like a fucking

really, really 800-pound fat body, I would just sit back there at night because I don't understand if people know how much fun it is just to go back there sometimes. Like, I love it. I love it. I'm a comic. It's hard for me to watch specials

and watch every fucking show you're on. But there's nothing that makes my dick hard and like when they call them, You got 10.45 and I go, perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take the baby swimming. I'm going to go eat dinner with them, and then I'm getting the fuck out of there. That's cool.

I'm going to sneak into the store with nobody's seeing me. I used to sit all the way in the back. I used to not sit in Mitzie's chairs. In the backpack? Like in the thing? Yeah, I used to sit back there and have. Really? Pisses.

Way before you got there at one time. There was this chick called Lemaire. LeMere was Mitzie's hair chick. Jesus. So one day, Mitzie goes, oh, you want to be a comic? Come to the store. So they passed her.

LaMere was 50-something when she became a regular. But she was all patsed up, head to toe, plastic surgery. It was all rubber. Her face didn't even move anymore at the store. And one night I got really fucking stone. And I just went back there. I'm sitting in the back. And she's on stage.

And she's, when you get stoned, I become your act. like that's the difference when a common gets high and I go to see Delea if DeLea intrigues me now I become Delea and I'm on stage and I'm cheering for Delea

and I'm cheering for her but she says this line she goes come on people everybody thinks I do plastic surgery I swear to God I have never ever ever done a bit of plastic surgery

and in my reefer though I go that's bullshit Like just without even, I would never heckle another comic. That is the most disrespect. But my mind didn't even connect. And she's like, who said that back there?

And me and Tommy and a bunch of other comics were fucking howling because I didn't even realize that. I'd say. I just fucking. It's the reaction. That's why. Because I was in there so deep. Like last night I was watching Allie. And I think I want, who else read is easy?

And then they said, he ain't coming. You're running late. You want to go up. I go on right. I'll fucking go up. I didn't think you were going to show up. I took whatever. Yeah.

But that's one of my favorite things in the world. That to me is how I learned comedy. I just sit back there. I watch three, four comics, and I abandon ship. Sometimes I don't even care if I go up. Sometimes I'm happy I didn't go up. I just went to learn. That's cool.

And I always pick up a little something. That fucking night, you were talking about that little fucking hole at the airplane. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was supposed to shoot air. Yeah. Dog, you didn't hear me because I'm not one of those assholes. some San Francisco comics. Always go,

ha! Oh, dude, that's so funny. That drives me fucking great. That you say San Francisco. You will never hear me. You will never ever hear me. Yeah, yeah.

I'll tell you. I'll point you go to Lee. Yeah, yeah, you're fucking killing me tonight. And when I tell you that is because I was bent over and I was howling. You're never going to hear me

with that gorilla laugh. Yeah, yeah. I would never embarrass you. But that night when you were talking about the fucking hole because when that got really high at one of those edibles and I'm sitting there looking at that hole

for like an hour. Yeah. And that very next. Next day I go to the store and you're going off on the hole and I'm back there. This is what I mean. It's just, like when people say, well, I went to see a movie and it was an escape. Let me tell you something, dog. I'm 54.

I've never escaped in a movie. There's been like three or four minutes. I hear you, man. But with stand-up comedy, I love when a comic takes me for a ride. And I'm going to be honestly, lately, you're one of the few guys that takes me for a ride. And that's why I had you on the podcast, brother. That means a lot coming from you. No, man, you inspire me.

Like, when I saw you at the Laugh Factory, I went home then and I said, well, I watched, because I wasn't going to go back to the store. They called me that Friday. Adam had called me, and then I had a spot at the Laugh Factory. I saw you. I'm like, I don't know if I could handle that shit,

I went to leave it. And then I watched that movie being there. Yeah, I love it. That's one of my all-time favorites. Yeah. And I said, maybe it's a sign from God. Maybe I should go back to the store. Well, I'm fucking so glad you.

came back to the comedy. You're a fucking great guy. You're a gentleman. Thanks, man. Having you there, though, you fucking make... I loved this comedy store already. Having you there,

it's fucking awesome, man. It's fucking cool. I love you down there, man. So thank you, thank you for taking the time to come on the show. Yeah, thank you, man. And meant the world to remember.

I'm just gonna give some shout-outs, read Blue Apron and get you to fuck out of you. Pass that over with the uncle Joey there. Thank you, brother. First of all, my girl, Cleo, the one-by-one podcast. The Cobra Cats podcast. You're fucking doing great.

They were voted to That's to Austin. Oh, very nice. Lauren Rosinker, Greg and Lynn up in Seattle, Randy Bowman, Dr. Rocks, Quadrex, and Gaffa. I love you, cock suckers. Don't forget, I'm at the Pittsburgh Improv next weekend, the 28th of October 1st. Where are you at next weekend, Bubba? Charlotte in two weeks, Charlotte.

That's a good fucking club. Yeah, the comedy zone is awesome, yeah. I love that place. Let me talk to you people real quick about Blue Apron. I'll get you the hell out of here. Like I said, the beginning of the show, it's the number one fresh ingredient. and recipe delivery service in the country. Their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everybody, okay?

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by going to blue apron.com slash Joey. You're going to love how good it tastes, how good it feels to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron. That's blueapen.com slash Joey, all right? Blue Apron, a better way to cook. And don't forget Onit.com for all your supplements, whether you got Shroom Tech or fucking Hemforce protein or Strongbone, that air for you.

Go to Onet.com right now and press. Church. Bam! and get 10% off, bitches, delivered right the house. I want to thank Christa Lee again. Thank you. I want to thank my little brother, Lee Syatt, and I want to thank you fucking savages for listening

and for being family. Like I said, I'll see you next week at the Pittsburgh Improv. Also, thank you very much with donations for my niece. She's up to 17 grand. You guys, I can't ever repay you. So thank you very much. I'll be in Philly next weekend, visiting her at the hospital. So thank you for you.

brightening up her spirits and whatnot. She even called me the other day and said, fucking the flying Jew donated. I said, Lee's a bad motherfucker. Thank you for listening. I want to thank my brother, Chris Delea. Chris, where can they find your dates at? Chris Delea.com.

That's fucking easy. Yep. Love you, motherfuckers. Have a great weekend. Stay black. What would we decide on? The OJs. Oh, shit.

Happy Rosh Hashanah to all the Jews in the struggle.