The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #521 - Nick Turturro

Episode Date: October 3, 2017

Nick Turturro, Actor seen in films and TV such as "The Longest Yard" and "NYPD Blue," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Five Four Club - Go To Fivefourclub.com and use Promo code JOEY for 50% of your first month's package plus a free pair of sunglasses.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.     Recorded live on 10/02/2017.
        

Greetings podcast, Will. Uncle Joey here, the church of what's happening now, coming to you and brought to you by audit.com. Listen, for all your supplemental needs, honor is the way to go. Trust what I'm telling you. From Shroom Tech to Hemphorce Protein Shake, it's going to make you feel tremendous.

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That's 50% off your first package at the 5-4 Club. Spelled, F-I-V-E, F-O-U-R, Club.com. promo code Joey. 5-4 Club.com promo code Joey. Hit it, Lee. Tuesday, October 3rd. I want to see nothing but assholes and elbows this week. We ain't fucking around no more.

It's a different fucking planet. We got to rise up, cock suckers. That's why the church is here for you. Because you're sitting there thinking, what the fuck, Joey? That's right, motherfuckers. Straight out of Philly, all the notes. 1981, drawing fucking heat. It still holds up.

Get those shoulders bumping. It's early morning, Coxsepper. Do you think? Are you kidding me? Or what? We're kicking this fucking meal early here. October 2nd. Throwing fucking heat on you on you on Monday night.

My brother Nick Tatouros on here shows up with a pizza and blue cheese, pizza dough rolls, something gentiles would fucking... These fucking kids would pay an extra six bucks from pizza pizza to get those things delivered. They get that Staminke's shit. What's they delivered? to you. Fresh mozzarella sticks with a pizza. You can't shit for a fucking week. You can't shit for a fucking

vicarans. He called them bombs. And get something out of them. These are bombs. These are clas up your little muffler. What's happened? Beautiful people. Lysayat here. Uncle Nick Nick is here. Before we even start this, my heart goes out, our heart goes out to the victims in Las Vegas. It's a different fucking world out there. And thank out we have each other. Because

this, you know, what a way to wake up on a Monday morning. I could say it's a beautiful day to be 10 fucking times today and nothing made a difference. By 10 o'clock I went to write and I couldn't even write. Thank God fucking Burke Chrysha showed up and I talked to him until about 10 to 11 and then finally I go, what am I going to do, sit here and think about, you know, going to a show

or going to a football game and getting fucking shot now in this day and age. Yeah. So I finally went to Jiu-Jitsu and that was great for an hour when I got home and then tonight I watched world news tonight and at one point I just started crying I mean these people were all 23 24 27 the chick was 35 with three kids at home you know I mean to be standing outside

and to be fucking targeted like that I mean there was nowhere to go the guy they were all like John F. Kennedy's poor fucking people that's what they were they were John F. Kennedys they were trapped in there and this was a fucking other so my heart goes out to you people and the people listening.

I know today was a hard day for you guys too. It's a crazy world and I was just talking a couple of weeks ago with a guy and we were arguing about, you know, I said the world today is nothing like when I grew up. Not that it was perfect in the 70s and the 80s, but you know you didn't see this kind of

shit that's become like the norm the last 10, 15 years and these mass killings and children and just people that are at a concert, at a movie and you get massaceted, you get blown, away. I mean, he's world technology and we're curing things. I don't give a shit. It's a, it's really a world that's become like a video game. And it's a shame because, you know,

people's lives can be like snuffed out in a second. I just can't understand the mindset of, the maniacs that do this. They inflicts so much and then they blow themselves up at 64 years. Oh, he doesn't fit the profile. Well, obviously you didn't know the fucking guy. There's no profile anymore. what profile? How do you know who the guy next to you? I mean, today you're not safe anywhere, anywhere. And, um, I don't know, it's just sad. I mean, I'm not a gun guy either.

That's why I don't like guns, period. He had 18 guns here, had 19 guns over there. I don't know what the answer is anymore. How the fuck do you get these guns? And this is why I tell people... He passed the, the, whatever it is, the, the checks. No, what checks? Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm not talking about the guns. What I'm trying to say to you people is, what do I tell everybody all the time. For the love of Christ, put that fucking phone in your pocket. For the lover Christ, when you're walking, you have to pay attention. I want you to walk around

like this is the Bronx, and any of these people can mug you. I don't give a fuck if you're in a church. Because that's how you have to walk now. You have to watch and look. You have to live like you're selling drugs now. That's how you have to live when you walk into a room.

Before you take a seat, you have to fucking sit next to an exit and sit with your fucking door, your face at the fucking door, and you have to know where the other doors are when you sit down. And if there ain't no other doors, you know what, get up and go to the bathroom and see if there's a way to fuck out of there. Because that's the only way you can live now, guys. Nobody wants to get slaughtered. These people got slaughtered last night. That's what they did. That's the only way to describe it.

They got slaughtered. 500-something people got injured. Yeah. That means shot, shot, period, injured, a bullet. He shot bullets that would go through body piercing on cops. Oh, no. This was a horrible fucking night for this country. There was just a horrible night for the world.

As somebody who was in entertainment, what do you want me to think anymore? What do you want me to think anymore? These comedy clubs, except the punchlines, have fucking metal detectors. Yeah. You know. I was going to say 10 years ago, I lived in Israel for six months. and they have metal detectors at malls. They have metal detectors everywhere.

And it's just something that you deal with. Alex Jones, the UFC in Houston, six, seven years ago, with all his craziness and all his tank, he's pretty crazy. We were sitting there talking and he goes, I predict. And he said in five years, so he's off a year, that we were going to start having TSA at Parks, TSA at concerts,

TSA at Moles TSA everywhere you walked into TSA was going to take over the United States You walk into a fucking bodega And there'll be a TSA agent that 20 years As weird as it sounds And I could be misremembering some of it But it felt like there was a lot of soldiers

Doing the like the checking in Israel And I felt safer there than Sometimes than I do here at TSA Like they felt more, it feels more professional It wasn't messing around it was a quick check and you were through and I felt totally sad I was an 18 year old kid

who didn't speak the language and I never once felt like in danger or anything. And I'm going to tell you people something. I'm going to tell you something from the deepest valley of my heart because you guys know I fly and you guys know I've been flying for 20 years. When it comes to

flying, I'm a fucking professional. I'll tell you what they, you know, XFO I'll tell you fucking XNA. You know what's XNA airport? You've been laying XNA, Northern Arkansas, fucking airport, listen, I can drop knowledge on you that most people don't know. You know, I know

all about flying points. Lee, how much do I get upgraded? 97% of the time? I know every scam, every fucking... But he also wakes up at like 3 a.m. to call sometimes. Sure, you got to do what you got to do. You got to sacrifice. You got to take one for the fucking

team. You want to hang out with fucking doctors? You got to fucking, you know, play the assistant. I dress up in wait. And I'm going to tell you guys something. I could, not me. I didn't say me. I'm sorry that came out of my mouth. Anybody could sneak a bomb on a plane. I'm telling you guys, as a fucking observer,

I go through there every fucking twice a weekend. I go through TSA four times a month. And after 20, after, since 9-11, I've got to tell you something that I don't feel safe at all. That's sad That's the really sad You could bring something on there with Lee Okay, I could bring one piece Lee could bring the other piece

And you could bring the third piece And together They become something Right Okay We all meet in the first bathroom You make the right I go in the big

Handicap store Because I'm the fat guy I put it together And I could go on a plane I could go on a phone I could go on a fucking, I could go on a line, I can do anything. I've seen it. I sit there and go, wow, I get through with a vapor pen.

I get through with, you know, stupid stuff that should shine through. You should stop me and go take that out of the bag. Let's see what that is. My iPad, I don't take my iPad out. Don't they tell you that when you get there, take your thing out? You don't take your iPad out? Never. God damn it, Joey.

That's why, well, they never brought, they never talked to you about it. Never. Most of the time they let the iPad go. The iPad goes in my sleep apnea bag. Before that, I had a bigger sleep apnea bag, and I put my computer in there. And I'll go on the plane with the surfers. You can go on there, was it?

You never take it out. You know, they tell you're taking out of the bag. I never took it out. Fuck you. If I take anything out, I take the sleep apnea machine bag out. But I'm telling you, as an amateur, that I've been watching there, that I sit there and watch them. Like when I'm going through the line, dog,

my heart's pounding. I feel like I'm about to steal something. And I'm not doing anything. You know why? Because I have no trust. Yeah. Because I know at any minute I could hear, Abdul Abbaq and fucking bab boom, my life's over.

Next year you know, I'm on eyewitness news. They got my sneakers on there. And one sock, the other one clung onto my fungi toe. Yeah. So that's the truth. I'm telling you, in my opinion, but it's 98% accurate. Yeah.

And I'm not a fucking terrorist and nothing like that. I'm telling you how they could do it. I'm not like, I don't want the military to take over. over like the country or anything, but don't you think if we hired had like soldiers that were manning the airports, don't you think we feel safer? Like manning the checkpoints? Well, let me tell you something. I don't know what dimension you live in.

I don't want to LAX some days, dog. You think they're there to get Pablo. Oh, they have people there. I'm not saying I feel. No, no, no, no. There's some more. I've told you, I fly early and I get on there with an edible and I don't go through changes. When I fly around 10 o'clock, that's the fear of death.

that means you're getting there at 8.30. You're checking in. You're checked in already. And you go outside for that last breath of fucking fresh air. Look around you. Look around you. It's guys with fucking baboomba. And go to Kennedy Airport.

Kennedy Airport, they're prepared for fucking a war. Go to Kennedy Airport. They're prepared for a fucking war. Oh, they're very prepared. They have to be now. At Kennedy, they're prepared for a fucking war. war. In New York.

If you go through, let me tell you something, if you buy a cheap ticket and go through Kennedy, what are the Italian say? Madonami. That's what I got to tell you, because they have a thing at Kennedy Airport. Well, you know how they tell you two hours before flight? Let's pretend you go on checking,

and it takes you 22 minutes and you check in. The fucking security won't let you on until a certain time period. So you got to wait in line like Mook DeVille. That's why. So you don't get there until exactly. No. What I told you happened happened. Pre-TSA has been over-absorbed.

The last two weekends I've flown out, I just got in the Express First Class Light. And there were two people. Pre-TSA, I fly with sweats now. So I don't lose. There's no belt to take off. Right. There's the, yeah.

So if you're pre-TSA and you hold your license up with a ticket, they don't make you take your shoes off. Right. And there's two people. Everybody now is pre-TSA. Everybody. Yeah, that's it. They just sold a fucking dream now.

to a bunch of mooks. I didn't pay for it. And eventually you fly so much, they give it to you anyway. Yeah, you can buy it. I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it. I'm a felon like a motherfucker.

As soon as I call all the airlines, your fucking record comes up on the airline. Did you know that? Oh, really? Sure. As soon as you call the airline, soon as your number goes into their bank now since 9-11, everything of yours pops up.

They just test you and fuck with you. Who's this calling? They fucking know who's calling. Your name comes up, your address, what you do if you do. flown with them before, your visa card number, your Amex number, they got it all. How do I know? Because I know these things, this is what I am.

You're beautiful, baby. I have friends or friends. What's going on in your life, Nikki Tate? All right, how you doing? I'm getting ready for the playoffs tomorrow night. This is your fucking world. It's my time. Yeah, you know, I'm a hardcore Yankee fan.

Nicky feel like a throw away everything. I thought about it over the weekend. You know, I love you. I know you want to act. I know you want to be veto call Leonie. But listen, there's no value in that. No, there is no value in that. Oh, there isn't.

Let me tell you what the show is called. See, it's too late now. Now you got to wet it out until next year. This show is you in a room by yourself with a pizza. That's it. Okay, with the Yankee game lung with no sound. And you watch the Yankee game. Oh, that's no problem.

Listen to me. It's ten bucks to watch the game with Uncle Nicky. It's good. I like that. Listen to me. That's it. No TV show. So tell me again.

Ten, ten. Ten dollars. Ten dollars. They can buy a season. pass if they pay you they give you for the first month they give you $10 a day no $5 a day for the first month or $60 for a month if you do the first day you get a two-day trial with Nikki Tee but I'm gonna tell you something it don't mean nothing with Nikki T to the season starts getting closed and Nikki T starts going fucking bananas right and for the extra fin they see the tweets on

the screen right and that's it what everything that you throw the anger yeah and then you Somebody has to come in as soon as they lose. This is the reality of it because reality television is scripted. Yeah, it is. Okay, and then when the Yankees are losing, and they do like two errors, somebody has to open the door and ask you like a stupid question. Can I ask you a question?

What's the Capitol Tennessee? Oh, God. And you're like, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck your mother. Get the fuck out of here. The Capitol of Tennessee. Oh, shit. You ever see a little rascals?

That episode, it was the little rascals. schools with Chubby and Chubby was jealous because the teacher was coming over so Alfalfa went over there and tried the Mac on the teacher and Alfafalfa was all dressed up he bring no no no no no no no no

it's the Chubby kid he combed his hair Chubby Ubsy Ubsby Chubsby Chubsby and she calls him something she calls him like lunatic like a letter and he goes you don't have to call me letters he can call me Chubby Uzby

She's Yubsby like 40. He's like fucking 12 and he's trying to Mac on this episode. Let me see if it's on. What was the... What I Google? Chubsy Ubsy? Don't Google YouTube. Chubsby.

Oh, I love Chubsby Ubsy Ubsby. A funny fucking guy. When fucking Alfalfa comes out and starts to make a noise from the curtain, that is one of the funniest things because every time Chubsby Ubsby runs his game before she could say something,

Alfalfa comes from behind the curtain. and tortures them. That's what you need. That's part of this reality show is that you sit there, watch the Yankees, and if they're losing, people have to come in and torment your life. Ask you stupid questions.

What happens if they're winning? If they're winning, then nobody bothers you. It's okay, nobody bothers me. And people drop off because it's not funny. But the thing is for me, they've got to be losing. Let's see, Chubbery Usby. Yeah.

Oh, you know, look at that face. Holy shit. Look at that, Joey. The third one, The first one. The first one. That's the one with Miss Crabtie. Oh, man. I want to hear his voice. Oh, Miss Crabtee. You don't have to call me Norman.

Call me Norma. You have to call me Chubsby. I told you. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with, though? Put the smiley models. Oh, God. Look at this episode. This is brilliant. Chubsby. Oh, look at this. Jackie Cooper. Jackie Cooper. Here he is.

Please. How is Fazi? Well, what do you want? Oh, this is brilliant. I thought I dropped in. Well, just keep passing by till you come to the river and then drop in. Wow.

Oh, shit. Look at the Macon. Look at them. On this crab tree. On this crab tree? Some flowers. Oh, aren't they pretty? Oh.

I brought some candy, too. Why, I know. Look at that voice, Joey. Oh. You get in here. Oh, I just blew. I just blew it. Did you see this in?

Did you see this in pan? Hey, Pousy. Well, what's he? Oh, wow. Pull the curtains, will you? This is private. Oh! Was he eating candy?

Oh, Miss Grouchy. I have something heavy on my heart. Oh, right. This is classic. This is brilliant. It says on a piece of candy. How about a kiss? Oh, Norman.

I'm calling me, Norman. Call me Chubsy Ubsy That's the fucking buddy This is the shit I grew up on I know me too Chabby Ubbsy

Watch this Lady You're watching this I want to ask you something Heavy on my heart I want to ask you something Oh chubsy Ubsy

There's gonna be something heavy on your nose Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Every time he tries to rub game Watch there's something heavy I have a heart attack right thing.

Bha. Look at that. Oh my God. Oh, miss gratitude. Oh, Miss Morgan. Oh, Miss Morgan. Oh, my God. God, Jesus, Joey.

I was a little kid with me to watch. this shit in my heart Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Fucking brilliant

little kid. This is what I was. Oh, this is Spanky. Hold on, hold on. Hit on the Blackwood Kid. Oh, my God. This is when they make the fucking cake. That fucking... Up there. Up there. Right there. That one. Click on that one. That's when they make the fucking cake.

This is something that... 1932, guys. I saw this... Every time I saw this episode was going to come on. Speed it up. Speed it up. When they make the cake and the cake blows up, I'll tell you. Keep going. He needs money to buy his mama dress.

So right there All right So they're making cake And they just push it in the fucking cake So they get all this stuff This is as racist As could fucking be This episode

Is this racist as to be Just this episode Look at them, they're putting pipes in there They're gonna get a surprise When they get there They're putting toys in a cake So they're making a cake to sell it by the slice

and then get the donations and buy their mom a dress. Because the husband wouldn't let her get. This is, these are great stories. Speed it up a little bit. So they start putting shoes in the fucking batter. Oh, right. They're putting all the shit in there. Yeah, they put, I got it right there.

I remember this. There's a scene here where it gets hot in the fucking kitchen and he goes like this, to sweat. And he throws the sweat on the wall in his black sweat. No, there's not. Yes, there is. Look at the oven.

Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. This is, this shit. This noise. I heard this every day in school at least once a week. And the music is great.

You hear the music? Yeah. The music. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Whoa, bo, blah, blah. Hit it in a minute. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. It's fucking brilliant. Even as a child, I would giggle my... Oh, yeah, that noise. The noise. What? Did I ask one question? Did you torture your teachers with this noise?

Every fucking thing. B'baw. Oh, my God. I haven't laughed. I haven't seen this in years. I forgot how funny this was. This is how comedy started with my heart, guys. This was before the honeymoon is for me.

Yeah. Are these like your first joints? What's this shit? Flower shot out and hit poor fucking buckwheat in the face. Look at him. He takes a fucking shoe out. Oh, he's got a hot water bottle. This is a surprise.

What was there justification for putting these things in the cake? A pride. Look at this. They couldn't make comedy like this today. No. If they fucking...

This was kids. This is... This is... This is so... They don't like... They don't got kids like this anymore. They can't do this kind of stuff no more. I just want you to put in you there

enter this house. Okay. Let's see, little rascals. Little rascals, you dare enter this house. This is great. Just watching this. This makes me cry. It's fucking brings me back to my child.

I want to cry. I want to cry. On a couch, you eat in a fucking... Every once in a while, I'm in a hotel room. It's one of the morning. I got insomnia. And you put this on? I put this shit on.

And I fucking giggle my fucking ass off. Oh, my God. All right. You dare enter this house, little rascals. Let's see if it comes up. Scroll it. Let's see. Nah, there's nobody even. No, I talk about it.

Oh, you're talking about it? That's you, Joey. Yeah, you're talking about you there into this house. That's a great episode. They go into this fucking haunted house. The other one that's good is when they fucking make the car and it's got a boxing glove. Yeah. And whenever people are standing at the light, they're boxing glove.

Yeah. Bunches them in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that one. And they steal the cart and they're going down the hill. And guys, when you're a kid, man, you're having a bad day. Maybe you fucked up a word in school. No, this was great.

Between this and the three stooges. Yeah, and then the honeymoon is. And then the honeymooners came in later on, and that was it. Fucking brilliant. Last night, I went home. What was the episode that was on last night? Jesus Christ. The golfer.

Oh, when he had to play golf? Last week was the fucking, when he was the superintendent of the bill. It's on Sundays at 11. At 11? 11 o'clock every fucking Sunday. Yeah, the fucking golf was great. They were all great episodes. They're all great.

And the comedy, and you watch that type of comedy and that style, and the catalyst was Art Carney. Well, he was there. But Gleeson is a fucking really a great actor. He was a powerhouse. He was a dramatic actor. So that's why in off set with Arcarni, it was just genius. Arcarni, I watched some of those episodes. And again, I fucking die.

You know, it's great. It's just the fucking lines you remember. Hey, Ralph, want to take another boomph? You know, when they're on the fucking train going the wrong way? That was one of the most brilliant episode. Oh, it's fucking great. How about one more boonf? Yeah, how about another boonf?

Get up there. Get up there. Get up there. Get up there. And he shows Rob. The mask and everything. Oh, my God. Yeah.

It's comedy that, I don't, you know, listen, who knows how you get the act that do comedy. No. I will tell you one thing, Nick. And, you know, there's things in your life that you remember forever. And I still remember going to Doom Buggy's house and him being on heroin. And us listening to the Beatles, me and his little brother listened to the Beatles and him coming in on heroin, like, the fuck you pussy's listening to her. I'm a scared of both of these.

You know, I'm a scared kid. He's telling him he's going to knock the fuck out of us. Let me show you what the fuck to listen to. And he put on Richard Pryor. And that was it for me. Between Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason, I was off to a different level. I was confused.

I didn't know what comedy was, well, here it is, bitch. This is as good as it gets. Right. And then I got introduced to George Carlin, David Brenner. But at first, that was it. And then Red Fox came into the game.

Yeah. And I nearly had a heart attack on fucking TV. But then I bought his albums. I bought two of his albums. I got to tell you some. At the age of 12, the Red Fox album was a little too strong. Did you go see anybody live when you were?

At that age, no. No. Between you and I, I saw one comic before I got on stage. How old were you when you did your first, you know, comedy thing? 1991. 1991. So how old were you? 28 years old.

You were 28? First time I got on stage. How old were you the first time you acted? Like, you know, professionally? Yeah, my late 20s, like around that age. Yeah. What was the first? How old?

When did you get into acting class? When did you? Yeah, it was probably because I, you know, I let it go for a long time and did a little bit in high school, senior. I was in a musical, guys and dolls. And then I didn't, you know, finish college. I dropped out. So I had never really done anything professionally, you know,

until, like, I was in my late 20s and Mo Better Blues with Spike Lee. That was the first, like, real job. And all these great guys were in the movie. and Robin Harris and Denzel Washington. I was like, wow, I can't believe I'm, I don't even know how this fucking happened, but, you know, I had done something for Spike, and then he liked me, and it just gave me a shot.

I had been taking acting class with this guy, Bob Motorcar at night. I was toying with the idea. And then I said, wow, this is actually, this is a fucking, I hope I just don't suck, you know. I just, even though I was acting with my brother, he was up and coming, and all these people in the movie were good. so I was like you know I was just I just wanted to blend in

you know but I remember after the two weeks I took off from the hotel as a door door man after it was over my brother said you know don't don't forget what happened here don't forget the experience because you could tell something kind of changed in me

and I didn't forget I was affected by the whole thing but I was like wow this is way fucking harder than I I thought I saw Denzel I was like this guy's great I saw Robin Harris. I said, who was that guy? He destroyed a whole room of people. He was like kind of a modern day red fox. He was brilliant. He was fucking brilliant. He was funny and he could act too. He had like some soul. The first time I saw him. Do the right thing. I lost my mind. Oh my God. He was on the street.

Sweet Dick Willie. Yeah. And he was next to a guy that throws heat too. Yeah. That guy that played the Jamaican. Right. That guy was a good veteran actor. Savage. Yeah. We went to see that in New York with Spike. I mean, all black audience. It was like out of body experience. Everybody was screaming, laughing. You know, that's it, man. You go, that was a wild audience. That was a wild

movie. It's crazy that there were two movies and I talk about this all the time. There's two movies that I was not going to see Harlem Knights and do the right thing. Well, one is a good movie. I signed up for a sociology class, intro the sociology class. One of those

fucking classes, something like that. The teacher, that was the homework assignment. To watch do the right thing and do a paper on the whole fucking thing. And I got to tell you something, it blew my fucking mind. It's a good movie. It blew my fucking movie. Till today, it still blows my mind. Yeah.

But that movie just, you know, just fucking worked. It just works. It hit a nerve, I don't know, for the time, everything. For me, it hit home. It's funny. It reminded me of being home. Yeah. It reminded me of the racial, listen.

Anyone in New York understands that kind of racial tension. It's different there than out here. No, no, no, no, no. Way different. That was a different racial tension. You'll let me tell you what type of racial tension that was. And do you remember this? It was subtle, but it was light.

It was funny. Nick, you're still dating that speech. Yeah, right. Oh, you understand? That's completely different. Joey, you still dating that mule nion, you're still eating the fucking ass, you'd be a motherfucker. I would never eat a mulean ass.

You know what I'm saying? You're not saying nothing negative. That's what people don't understand. That's a joke, Lee. I'd still say to you, what's going on? You still dating that Jew bra? No, I dumped that piece of shit. I'm dating this Mexican chick now.

I'm so positive so far. It's the truth. You say that now. You say that now. You get outcasted. You get destroyed. But that's how it was. Nick, you still dating that Cuban chick.

Yeah. Yeah, fuck. You like that little spikaroo. You like that Puerto Rican ass. I know. And you'll tell me right to my face. Let me tell you something, Joey. I don't know what I like more.

The fucking pussy. order food. Right. I gained 18 pounds in two weeks. Yeah, but you know what? I go to the mother's house. They feed me. They call me your momo. I'm drinking with them. They invited me to a party in Miami. They paid for the tickets. These people fucking crazy. Here's the ironic thing about that shit. It's really not that racial. It sounds it. You know, everybody, growing up there, you had something to say about a Puerto

Rican. He had something to say about a Jew or black. Well, I think I'm the way I am. I say something about. I'm the same way. And nobody on understands that. No. They say, oh, this guy is, you know,

he's a bigot, he's this, he's that, I'm like, you're full of shit. I'm none of those things. But we all said that because out of curiosity,

no one really understood what it was like. But in the end, you find out, we're all just fucking people. We all kind of like each other in our own way. We just didn't understand

our own little gubrigats, our own cultures, you know? But once you've got to taste that, you were like, oh shit, you get some... But listen,

I grew up with the oceans, the Bosanos, I grew up with the Aresas, the Sabatinos, the Altmans. I grew up a little, everybody had a little joke about something. The Irish mix, the shanty Irish. But at the end of the day, they made it all work. It was just a joke. That's it.

At the end of the day, they made it off. And that's what Dudea Right Day. The only thing that I like about was at the end, it got a little, you know, to me, the only problem I had with that movie was at the end. Maybe it got a little bit, you know, a little, got a little hairy and maybe a little political with the guy getting choked out and all that shit. But for 90% of that movie, it's very funny.

It's very funny. Even when they're playing with the Water Fountain and what's his name's. God bless us. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Martin Lawrence was brilliant. He was so funny. Jesus Christ, Martin Lawrence has been around forever.

I know. He's a Jimmy Smith type of dude. Yep. How about his fucking Jordan's way? Oh, your Jordans are fucked up. 10010 plus tax I mean they were fucking It was just so funny

Every little thing You know who's better Roger Clemens or Doc Good And everything was like It was just so fun Springsteen or Prince Yeah Oh my brother was funny too

You know Bruce The other dude Yeah Farrik he goes Farrakhan Farrah man And my brother was so fucking funny And Danny Ayala was hot then It was good too

It was good too I was on the set and I was just like, wow, that's how I met Spike. And I was like, man, this is, this is kind of exciting. I didn't know what it was, but you could kind of feel like, you know, he brought Martin Lawrence over this guy, Steve White, you know, all these dudes. And I was like, man, I want to be part of this gang. This is, this is fun. Spike, you know, he had it going on then.

And all these, you know, Ozzie Perez, he found her in the club with those big nipples and everything else. I mean, my God. I was nothing like a Puerto Rico and big nipples So tomorrow Guess what I'm thinking about doing dick Tomorrow

What are you doing? Yeah that was with my daughter At the park over here I was walking and I saw Beginning acting class For older adults You? Yeah beginning acting class

For older adults I called the number They said it's show up You gotta commit to eight weeks Signs and paperwork And you're in the class I'm taking to go on tomorrow 11 o'clock

Really? Why not? Yeah. No pressure acting class. This is because I want to do it. Not because I have to be. Have you ever taken an acting class? Absolutely.

Oh, okay. Absolutely. That's your, you have to. I did the whole circuit, the casting director, the Van der Chubbick, the other chick. And then one day I did a movie with Coburn. And he's like, stop doing it. So who's taking, who's doing this class?

I have no idea. Oh, so what do I give a fuck? Right. I don't give a fuck. Listen, you always learn something and you exercise the muscle. That's right. And everybody complains there's no work. Go exercise a muscle.

Generate the work. Yeah. And you never know what's going to happen. That's right. No, you don't know. You know. Everything leads to something. We always, every time you and I speak on the phone, there's laps,

but there's three minutes or four minutes of the conversation that how much long can this last? We're not working. I know. And every offer that does come in is you can't. even leave the house for that. Yeah. You got to bring your own shoes, your own suit. They want you to fly yourself in, put up your own hotel. And we're screen, actors. I know. I'm doing this a long time. You're in the union 30 years. I'm in the union 20 fucking years. How could this be possible? I know. That we have to pay for our own, what are you looking at them? You keep looking at my t-shirt.

No, I'm just looking in the middle. Don't worry. All right. I'm looking at this fucking I'm thinking about this, what was the movie I did with the Niro? Oh, grudge match. Grudge match. And I've said it a thousand times. I had to fly myself in. Yeah, I know. Delta, the New Orleans.

There's the same thing with Blue Bloods. I was doing three years, four years. You can't fucking believe it that you've been paying union dues and you paid another point in a half at the end of the year. And now they won't even pay for your fucking plane ticket. Hey, listen, I did 40 episodes guest starring. How is that a guest star? 40 flights.

Yeah, about 40 episodes. 35 flights. Yeah, I used to come off the plane, do my shit, memorize my shit on the plane rehearsal, because I knew I wasn't going to get many takes. Boom, knock it out and then get back on the plane. The kid I worked with used to go, how do you do it? I go, I do it.

I go, you know, I was just like, it's part of the, it's part of the whole, I never thought I could do shit like that. You know, I'd be on a plane talking to myself. People would be looking at me. One time I was in somebody who was, are you okay? I said, yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm memorizing lines, right? Oh, what do you do? Meanwhile, they're fucking Googling you while they're sitting next to you.

I'm a pediatrician. Pediatrician? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. But, I mean, that's the world we live in. You know? Now you're a guest star.

You're a guest star for 100 episodes, and they get away with it. Unbelievable. You believe that. And they won't tell you, like, at least tell me if you're going to put me an age. No. No. They say, you know, like, listen. They don't tell you nothing.

No, where are you? I tell you this. not griping. No. We just want to keep you informed at home that I never want you to think when you see these actors tell you these mid-get rid of these mid-range guys you see and you think we're making millions. No.

You know, you're fucking fighting for your life anymore. That's it. And the unions cut you to your throat your own union. Oh, yeah. Who you fucking pay. I know. A lot of money, not a little bit of money. No, a lot.

You pay him a lot of money? This guy wants to hire me for a movie in Canada and he goes, well, it's a Disney movie. They're making the remakers. an old, you know, I forget the movie, but they don't even want to like, you know, they don't want to pay, and then there's another thing my brother's doing

in Europe, he's like, I don't know, I got to see if they'll let us hire another American actor. Well, they're hiring you. Why can't they hire one more? Because of the union, you know? I'm like, I'm fucking believable. I mean, you can't make a living.

You know, I'm actually going to work with Spike again, I think I haven't worked, you know, I started out with Spade. It's funny. The people you start out with, you know, like Cranden says, the people you meet on the way up, you're going to meet the same people on the way down. And it's like full circle. I started out with, you know, Abrams. And now I'm like 30 years later, I'm with these people.

You know, I started out with Spike. Now Spike calls me up, what's up? What's up? It's tough out there. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I feel you, man. I hear you. I got you.

I got you. I go, yeah, right. I'm glad somebody's got me because you feel very alone in this business. People don't know. They just know, oh, I love your show. I love you on the show. I'm not on the show No, but I saw you.

I go, I know you saw me, but it's a rerun, you know. No, you know, that's what your life becomes. You become like a fucking rerun. Like, you know, what are you doing? I let people that go, what are you doing? Like you died, like you passed away.

You know, okay? I haven't seen, you know. What do you haven't seen? You don't know me? You don't fucking know me? Like people that say, I love you. I love you, man. I love you.

How could you love me? You don't know me. How do you love me? How do you know you love me? me. No, it's true. I mean, you don't fucking love me. You'd say you love me. That's what I love about this town, man. Love you, baby, love you. You know,

where you been? I'm like, where I've been? I'm here. What I mean? Where you've been? I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. You're fucking movies that only get released in Austria. I know. I did about, you know, fucking 55 independent movies that

no one will ever see. These fucking movies. I don't even want to, I just go in and let's go, pay me cash. having a conversation about that two weeks ago with Chris DeLeah that these independent movies, they started out fucking tremendous and they

want a bus to. When I first moved here in 98 to get an independent film dog you had to kill 20 people. And then you got one and nothing happened. Then you got in the second one and nothing happened. Then they call you at the festival bullshit.

Those are the best ones when they call you. All right, one down the corner. if I'm in town. I can't cancel. But then there's the people who say to you, hey, guess what? We're in the Iowa Springs Film Festival. Can you fly yourself? Can you come

Sunday? You're like, are you fucking crazy? Yeah. You don't want to spend a weekend in Iowa Springs? I love Iowa, but I'm not going out there for a film festival, stand around and play Johnny Celebrity while people point at me and go, oh, you were great in a film. Oh, my goodness. Great things are going to happen for you. Sure. Right.

Keep saying that for yourself. Ain't that going to happen. What do you do for a living? I'm a plumber. What are you going to do? Give me an ad on your network. What do you do? It's really, and you don't want to look at it that way.

When people contact you now, you look at it, and you go, so what's the deal? Right. And they tell you, you go, let me think about it for a day. I got to know why I want to be on YouTube. Exactly. And they're like, excuse me, and you're like, you just told me you got a cousin who works at CBS. That means I got dick. That means I got dick.

By the time we shoot this, there's no cousin. And next thing you know, you're calling me up to see if my agent could call up FX and selling this piece of shit with this lighting guy that didn't have no light bulbs. Look at me. I'm darkly than ever. I haven't been this dark in 20 fucking years. Look at me.

No, no, no. It's a fucking joke, people. I just did a fucking dog movie. It was hilarious with fucking dogs and Dolf Lundgren. what a fucking guy he was nice guy but fucking let me tell you some you don't know

what you're acting with people you just go how did I wind up here you know and we're trying to rehearse the scene and he's like

oh blah blah I said a doll daff I said we got to rehearse got to rehearse oh okay

okay you are funny you are a funny guy I said yeah I'm all right never mind funny let's just rehearse so

I can get my fucking line in. Let me get my fucking line in. You know what I mean? Doing the fucking movie with dogs and the dog train is like, okay, don't make any noise when the dogs are on the set. I said, yeah, it's all about

the fucking dogs now. Thank you, Lee. Let me tell you something. Again, I did six movies for Disney with a fucking dog. Yeah, you did a bunch of those, right? Dean and Gary Valentine? Listen, I would never volunteer for those.

Like I said. They sell. I guess they sell these. They sell. You got a movie about dogs leaving. Here's the story that people don't fucking know. Okay? Let me tell you, again, this is a podcast, and I'm not ratting nobody out.

I'm just informing the fucking consumer. What's really cracker-lacking. Like we discussed. So, you have a scale film, and then you have a film $100 a day. What these people do is they try to sell you on $100 a day. So what do you think happens? And I'm really sorry. say it this way. When you're in a holiday movie and there's

dogs involved and cats and snakes, listen to me. That's going to be a long fucking day. Because these guys didn't make it out of the top of their class. When you work on a fucking real Disney movie, scale plus 10, your own closet, clothing, meals every three hours, great script, great actors, a few from yesteryear and a few from today to sell the film on ABC, fucking family. You know, it's, and you got a fucking canine that's smart.

You got a laugh. Oh, yeah. On these one long day movies. Yeah, they're not only long day movies. These dogs been hit by a car and they trained them. Right. I don't want to be there. They've been hit by a car two years ago.

Yeah. You'll put me on this set to run around with a fucking bowl in my mouth. Give me a fucking break. Yeah. They give them cookies. These dogs don't respond. It's fucking bad. The cats are bad.

I know. I went through hell on those dog movies. Remember that? those days, when you see an animal on the script, that's a 14 hour. That's a 14 hour day. Because whatever that was, add the dog time. And the dogs will only be there for eight hours.

Right. So what you do is you shoot all the scenes with the dog doing all the shit you can, and then once you shoot all those scenes, you cut the animal, and then you shoot your scenes like if the dog was there. Mm-hmm. So we're still in the room talking,

and they're shooting a dog. Right. We're still having the dialogue from our scene. We shoot all those scenes. Go, boy, go get him. He's a crook, bite him, all that shit. Then later on, they cut the dog, and we do all our things. They do our shots.

Right. They already got the coverage on the dog. Right. But the dog gets tired. After an hour and a half, he's like a human being. You need to fucking breathe it. Yeah. The dog has better working conditions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The dog, no, there's a game and an animal on the set. Oh, I'm sure. When you have a movie with an animal. animal you got to doce out some fat fuck like me to come on your set and tell you excuse me the animals it's time

they go for a walk and eat now and you got to yeah and then they come in with the kids too yeah the kids got to work a certain amount of time they got to get school time they get breaks I saw that so they'll come right in with the kids and cut in and go hey that that's it he's got to go to class for two hours

a couple hours when we shoot around their scenes right then they come back and finish out there and fucking that No, I know. Pretty. That's why whenever you shoots and they have kids in the script, people get fucking, this better be a good, good idea. Tim Allen better be here.

Yeah, you need somebody in charge, somebody that makes it. Yeah, but if you got a free-for-all and an indie with these kind of, you know, circumstances, you'd get fucking fucked up. Like the other guy was working with, he would show up and sit there for 12 hours. I said, I'm not coming. Call me when you're ready. This other fucking guy could be here. I was here for seven hours

So that's you I'm not sitting here for seven I'll go insane You know I mean one night I just went home I was like I was there all night I said

I'm so angry The guy goes You want to go home You want to go home I said yeah I don't want to go home I'm going home I'm fucking going home I'm going to Denny's right now

It's 5 o'clock of the morning Fuck it I'm at Denny's eating a bullshit breakfast I'm angry You know Doing a dog movie I'm like, you know, you don't want to wind up like this shit. It's like I was playing a mad scientist a few weeks ago on a Sunday

in some fucking warehouse. That sounds like fun. Yeah, it was kind of funny. I made something out of it, but I was acting with, you know, you're acting with all these fucking people. What's your mad scientist's name? Huh? What was the mad scientist's name? Oh, my name?

Yeah. I can't even fucking remember now, but it was, it was funny. Well, he don't want to remember. I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember. The guy just gave me an envelope, and I just said, that's it. You know what I mean? It was a day's pay.

At least I got to laugh a little bit. Yeah, it sounds like fun. Kind of was. But you want to do like more prestigious jobs sometimes? Yeah, but you want to do something more, you know, worth what you've put in. You don't work 30 years and then you're, you know, you're picking up Mission Marsh. If you come to me today and going on a nice movie, it's going to pay your scale. Joey, listen, I'm going to shoot you in and out of there.

You're not going to get no overtime. I'm going to pay your scale. Four hours, a couple. scenes you get shot, maybe four or five days. Where's your shoot? Ventura, I'm in. Something, what are we doing with the thing?

To be strictly honest at you. You know, that company they gotta put the fucking movie on there. We're gonna go straight to that. You get some yearly residual and that's everybody's happy. If it's gonna be fun, I know the director.

Yeah. Everything's good. You don't mind. And the material ain't bad. Yeah. You feel like, all right, I got a good workout. It was actually like you felt like you did something rather than just now it just became like about, you know, making money here and there. But, you know, at least with that you go, all right, at least I, this could be something. It could be decent. You know what I mean?

You know, every now and then you need to do something for your soul that you go, all right, at least I tried. This was fun for me. Yeah, this was fun. You know what was for me the last couple of years when I did those two episodes of Married? I just went nuts. For IFC, they had nobody on there, so I could do whatever the fuck I want. That's good.

The other day when I was in fucking Pittsburgh, which if he came to the shows, thank you very much. You guys are fucking tremendous. Some guy came up to me and he goes, I never saw you until an episode of a man when you were doing coke off the table and you said something about him.

And he goes, after that, I went nuts. That was one of the funny. You know what I'm saying? Like, I could let loose. By that time, I knew how to let loose. Right. The longest shot, I didn't know how to let loose yet. I didn't know the responsibilities of letting loose.

Yeah, well, in the longest short, there was a lot of people. There was a lot of people, and maybe you hadn't done that many movies. Not like that. Not like that. No, I was fresh off like Spider-Man too. Yeah. And taxi. I could tell you were, in the Longest Shard, you were kind of like, you were out of your element.

You weren't like... Absolutely. It took me two weeks together. I had been doing a lot of stuff before that, so when I got an opportunity to do like a comedy, I just, you know, I did my work as the other than breaking my foot, but I was making the most, I was going to make the most out of that experience

and then, you know, Adam made it a better part for me as it went along, but I knew, I kind of had an approach and then I saw what he was doing, but I think for you it was a newer, it was like, it was a big scene, it was a macroeconomic scene. Yeah, and it was a big deal. It was a big deal. Instead of micro comedy.

It's not me and Lee. It's not me and Nick. It's nine people. You had to come in with a character. You had to come in there and try a rocket. Yeah, and you had to rock it because there was 85,000 guys in there. But if you could, you know, if you have an approach, you have a good character, the good thing about a guy like Adam is he let people, you know, there was room to shine.

Believe it or not, there was. I thought, you know, but I think for you, I think you had a great time, but I think it was also, it was a new experience for you. Yeah, no, no, it was. It was like that one day, we got right. Remember we got wrapped? And you called me, you're like, Nick, we got fucking wrapped. Not a calling us back.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. That's why I couldn't deal with this. And then you go, what are we doing? I go, well, I got to go back. They unwrapped us. And you were like, fuck it, I'm not going back. I said, I know, but they unwrapped us. I said, you know, the right thing to do was to go back because, you know,

and then I got back then they wrapped me again. So, I mean, I understood where you were coming from, but, you know, it was. I took a chance, Columbus. Yeah. You know, I just didn't like the, I didn't like, there was a lot of whatever, but I had a great experience. I mean, Adam treated everybody good. No, Adam's a great. I mean, there's no two ways about that.

The time in Santa Fe was great. I missed him near at the comedy store. I missed them by two minutes. Really? I walked back there and he goes, you know what he saw? He goes, he said you were on the line up and he giggled. He giggled. Oh, he liked you.

Yeah, so now it was cool. No, Adam liked you. I don't know. I thought you were Italian. It was funny when I first fucking saw you. I still remember the first van ride home that Thursday night from the high school. Do you remember it was me and you and we were at the high school first? Oh, yeah.

The food truck was there. Yeah. We ate and it was me, you, and the one producer in the van. The Italian guy with the kid. The real cool, not the dude with the retarded brother. The cool dude with the, with the, with the, the kid that was about 16 and one weekend that weekend he left but left his 16 year old kid and i went down to the pool with bosworth and i saw the kid and the kid jumped in the pool and he was shining i talked to

the kid and we went Nate with the kid and the kid was a great kid you know and i'm like what you're dad he goes well he wanted me to go back on him what was i going to do i'm 10 in l.a for the weekend yeah i'd rather stay here with you guys. So we had a great time. Kent didn't end up coming to see me in the laugh factor a couple of times. Yeah. When he turned 19. You know who it is. It was me, you, and that producer

in the van that Thursday night. God rest of the soul, your mom was sick the first time. She had a heart attack. We were going back. You were worried. We were going back to the hotel. Yeah. Adam was a good guy. That's when I had met. He'll, we yacked on the van.

We giggled. Yeah. Something. We had somebody in common. I forget who it was. And then that weekend, I was by the pool. And I'm sitting there with Bosworth. And he's taking me into murky waters of the NFL.

My jaw is in the jacuzzi. And, you know, like, as a sports enthusiast, you really think you know shit about sports. And you don't know dick until you talk to Bosworth. And the hard on they had for him and how they took his fucking bonus check every weekend as a fine because he didn't tuck in his shirt. Just he had me that Sunday that my head was spitted.

Oh, really? Like they took his house, psychotherapy in Hawaii. Yeah. Then did you see they do it 30 for 30? 30. Did you watch it? It's a good one. It's very good.

Yeah. And that's it. He had the nervous breakdown. He had to leave Seattle. I mean, it was fucking deep, you know. Yeah. And here you grew up thinking these guys lived, fucking life of Riley.

It ain't really like that in the NFL. It hasn't been a fucking long time. That was interesting. It was interesting. But that Sunday night, your family wasn't down there yet. Right. So I'm walking past, I think, and I hear you, fuck you.

And I'm like, let me go talk to this guy. I knock on your door. You just barely open the door. You're on the fucking two little cedar couch. The balcony door was open. Oh, the balcony. And you're up there fucking yelling at the TV. I'm like, what's going on there?

The fucking Yankees. They got a man on two hours. And you're yelling and I'm loving it. I haven't seen that type of behavior in 20 years. Now, there's fakers. When there's women around, there are fakers. You know, characters, what you do when there's nobody watching. You know what I can hear you yelling from the fucking pool.

I'm like, why is he fucking yelling? And that was just brilliant. I went upstairs and saw the act. You remember that, huh? Like a fuck. It was yesterday. I remember like a fucking bull. Oh, yeah.

No, I've had people, you know, they walk in the house and walk out. That's the show, Nick. There's nothing. No, you're right. No, you're right. It's right. It's an episode. Nine innings with Nick.

That's the name of the show. With no sound. No sound on the TV. On the TV. But you could chit chat. Once you put the sound on this, I like that. I like to update people.

You're like, all right, guys, the third inning is starting right now. Like this guy, like... Yeah. Well. Look at this fucking dude here. He's, he's. He's one for fucking two, and this fucking bases are loaded,

and this fucking guy hasn't hit nothing in 10 fucking days. And they put him in, and they got the southern Muleignan. What's his name? He did the Dominican kid, whatever. By the way, I got to tell you something. Last night I'm sitting by the computer. I get home, I take a nap, I get back up. I'm still fucked up from the flight back from Pittsburgh,

which again, I had a great time. What a beautiful fucking city. What a beautiful fucking city. It's a good city. I love that city. I've always loved that city. It's always a pleasure going there. The flight, everything.

Can we talk about the food? The food's delicious. Anyway, mind your business. What food? I had Chinese. I know that I was going to talk about it. I had Chinese three days in a row delivery. That old school Chinese, pork fried, listen.

Poor fried rice. I explored outside the realm. It was no bueno, and I stuck to what I know. There's three things you get. If those things suck, you don't. Don't call again. One ton soup? Not even.

No. Who wants to drink one ton soup? I got to go on a plane 18 miles. That's true. They give me a half a cup, half of it is drained. Pork fried rice? Pork fried rice. Two egg rolls, two shrimp egg rolls.

Two shrimp egg rolls. And dumplings. Dumplings? The first day I got pork fried rice, a little container, and two egg rolls. I ate one egg roll and ate the other pork fried rice. And I was ready to throw that egg roll away. And I go, you know what? The spirit of fucking Satan will punish me for throwing this shit away.

I flew to the... I'm never going to eat this again. I kept it in the room. That night, I got back from doing comedy about 11.30. I fucking ate that fucking egg roll. It was kind of stiff. Yeah.

The grease was evaporated. It was deliciously... Nothing like a good egg roll. With a tube or hot mustard on it. Sure. With a fucking water. Because, you know, me, I can't be drinking that soda. No one.

I'm trying to be good. I'm trying to be good. This shit like that. Mm. So, yeah, I had Chinese food. I had breakfast. I kept it normal. And at night, I had avocados and chicken. Avocado's good. I'm trying to keep it together, a little by little.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's nothing wrong with avocado salads. But it was interesting as fuck. But what I was going to tell you was, what? What? Oh, oh shit. So I go on Facebook and I try to answer a few messages, and I go on Twitter,

because I don't take the computer on the road with me, I don't want. So I don't want to see nothing. I'm doing comedy. Oh, good. If I do anything, it's right, and I joke. Yeah. I don't need to do comedy to jump up and down yet.

Right. So I fucking I turned on the computer last night And who do I see After 15 years Are you ready Lisa yet? Who? Louis Hernandez

A.k.a. Louis de nigger He was the first Dominican kid That moved into my name In 174 Really? This name was a racist But they didn't know Louis had an afro Right

So in their mind, he was black. So behind his back, they called him Louis de Nigger. And then when they just started calling him Louis de Nigger to his face. And he would keep saying, I'm not black? It was hysterical. I know that's funny. He was dynamite. And you know who else was in that picture?

Who. All I could say is his first name, Gerard. Gerard? Me, and there was a kid Sabatina, who I grew up with, who I've spoken about in the podcast. There was like four or five cats. Chepente, a kid named Aponte. That fucking name is always like, we had a guy in our name with Gerard

and he was like a scary fucking dude. Well, this dude was a beautiful Italian man. I even called my wife and go, because his Gumba is my daughter's godfather. They're the same blood. They go, come here for a second. You think Mercy's Godfather's a good looking man? Take a look at this side of the family.

My wife's like, Jesus Christ! What happened to him? How come he's no on the TV, I go, he became a doctor. Yeah. But when that kid was 16, 17, Nick, he was my straight man when I used to try to roll gay guys. They weren't really gay. They were guys that came

over from the city to get that dick sucked in Jersey. God. So this guy was a good looking dude. He was the bait out there. We put him out there like a soldier, Nick. Wow. And cars would pull up next to him. Wow, you're beautiful. You want to go on a date and you go pull over. and then we'd get out of the car, walk him into the park, and we jumped the dude. Really?

Oh, my God, we were young and stupid, though. Can you imagine? The things that could have happened. It's a different time. We and him went out like two months. We were evil. We used to go to this bar, and he was such a good-looking dude, bro, that he would just lord chicks at. We were in high school. We were juniors.

and nobody really knew him and I hung out together. His father was Italian, but he made the best chili and rice you ever had in your life. Chili and rice? Chili with white rice on the side. You can eat it without the rice. He told me one time,

have it with the rice. You don't like it better. I'm cute, but not like Bigot of you. It's the same fucking thing. Yeah. Every time I go over there, because he would call me, my dead made chili, come over.

So whenever I would go over there, I'd go over there, he'd, and while I was over there, he'd tell me who we were going to pinch that night. And he was really good-looking, so we always robbed some chick's house. Right. He was always robbing some chick that was 26 or 27 times. And this guy began with Doctor? Yeah. Wow.

It took him like 49 fucking years to get his degree. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. He was one of those dudes, yeah. But he's still straight up. I still, people say he sends his love to me. me. I loved him daily. I loved his sister daily. His

father was my gumbarich. He got me out of a couple of messes growing up and shit. So I would go over and eat the chili and shit. But I remember oh my God, this me and this kid used to do some creepy shit. So he hooked up with this stripper.

He told me that. We were in high school dog. He was 17. And she told me that he would bring him over the house at like 11 o'clock at night. He was getting booty calls in 19, fucking 80 already. Oh, this guy?

She was 26, he was 16. He was a stud, huh? And he would walk to a house. How tall was he? 5-9, 5-10, thin, looked like a fucking mile. Like, there was three or four

those Italian dudes that had that different Italian looked at them. They didn't look Italian and hard. Right. They were Italian and beautiful. They just had, they looked like Robert Redford, but they had brunette hair.

I grew up with like three of those motherfuckers. that they were unstoppable pussy. Right. Just landed on them. Yeah. Bapa. It's unbelievable.

But this dude set up this check. He told me she's a stripper. I go, why did you mean her? He goes, I met her at a bar, and then she invited me out. She's 26. He goes, I fucked her like 10 times. I know exactly where the jewelry is, where her money is, the whole fucking thing. Oh, boy.

So on a Tuesday night, like 11, he picked me up at his father's car. We went over and that was the lookout And I heard him kick in the fucking window I counted a tent I didn't see nothing And all of a sudden he comes running out with a bag He gets in the car, we go for a fucking ride And he found cash

Not much, we each got like 200 a piece Which in 1980s a lot of money then We got a little jewelry but he said Fuck I couldn't find the main thing What was he looking for? A hand A hand The chick had a hand

that had rings diamond rings saffer you know she had the whole fucking thing he cased it out he had the whole fucking diamond eye and this guy this guy was one of my favorite partners of all time and I always knew he wasn't a bad kid he was not gonna end up a criminal

oh yeah I tried to protect him as much as I could but I also knew his dick got hard doing this there's certain people that you grew up with that you know they're not bad people yeah but they get a rush get hard Yes, they got a rush. Doing a certain thing. Yeah.

He got a rush from that. And I had like two or three of those in my life that came to me and said, listen, I don't really want to do this, but I want to do this with you. I wanted to fucking go have a good time one time. You know what I'm saying? And that was crazy. He was one of those guys. Until today, he still sends love. Like I have a mutual friend that really sees him.

He always goes, hey, gee, sends his love. Is he still good looking? Oh, my God. I don't know. He's my age now. in this picture. He was, it was him, Sabs.

He was like, this kid at Chapinthi, a Ponty. They were at a car, they were at a baseball tournament in high school. They were young kids. Just amazing memories,

man, with those guys. It's amazing how fast your life goes, right, man. Lately I've been thinking about a lot. And I'm just thinking like, wow, it's fucking, not that it's over, but, you know,

it is kind of, and the way it is because you go, fuck man I'm 55 you know like what's Al says in that movie you know

scarf is you got a bag you got a belly you know he says it but it's kind of true because you look in the mirror you see your fucking belly

and you see this and you're starting to feel your skin a little bit not as tight you ever at the light huh you've ever been out of light mind

in your own fucking business yeah and you look over to your right hand side yeah and there's a couple about 18 and a half

yeah And they're walking home Hand in hand and hand Yeah They're going home to do homework For about two minutes Yeah Then he's gonna rip off

A fucking pants Right And fuck it till the end Yeah And once you snap out of this dream And you go I know That's never gonna happen to me again

I know Like I'm never gonna fall in love again Yep Not gonna make out anymore I'm not gonna know The beginning of I mean I love my wife We still make out

Yeah Oh you make out That's good I'm talking about we're never going to be at that place where we meet a girl for the first time and take it to a movie and that magic

and that dinners and bringing a flowers and falling in love and scratch that fucking magic you know what I mean that sets in I'm 55 that sets in already I'll be 55 in February God take me that

you're with me but you have to realize these things aren't going to happen again in your life I know you go to these jiu jitoo classes and sometimes I get frustrated and I'm like, wait a second how am I going to do a fucking Z guard?

You know, you got to reach down and pull yourself. I'm 300 pounds. I know. But I go. I show up and I do what I fucking could do and when I wrestle young kids and I get frustrated, but at least I'm exercising,

which is what keeps you alive. That's why I dress up more every now and then. You know, I put my outfits together, this and that. It's not that I'm trying to be young, but just to fucking feel good, you know, I mean, just to feel like, yeah, I still, I got something. I ain't got what, you know, I still got something. I got to have some edge.

I got to find some way to fucking get off. But what would, listen, what do, I mean, what do you, what would be the life for you right now to have a 22-year-old? No, I didn't mean like that. No, no, no, I'm not even saying that. I'm just saying. And I walked in my son's room the other day and he was home from college and some good-looking board was in there with an earring. nose and she was braiding his hair and I said, oh hi.

She was like, hi. I was like, look and I was like, I look at this shit. This is it. This is, you know, young people, you know, we're not that. No. Just not that. You know, you're not like completely

over the hill, but you know. But we are over the hill. Listen, when you go to a show and you look around and you see a guy like me or you, you go, ooh, especially if you 20 year old. Yeah.

What do they want with me? No, no. You have to be honest with yourself. You know, what I see in the mirror is not what people see. People adding 10 years to this. I know.

And it's not like I'm trying to win a beauty contest. I couldn't win a beauty contest when I was 21. I'm not going to win a beauty contest now at 50 fucking 4. So you accept a lot of things.

That one was really shocking. I just can't believe it went so fast. To be honest, I fucking tortured this fucking kid. Lee, take care of this Lee, don't miss a day. Lee, if I got any advice for anybody, listen, don't miss a day.

Don't miss a day. I missed 30 years of days by doing drugs and fucking around. I miss 25 years of days and I wish I could get half of them back. Yeah. Well, that's the problem. If you spend half your life, stone. Sitting around. Getting high or

Walking around, doing time. Listen, man. You can't get it back, man. And it goes, Jesus Christ, guys, I lie not to you, it goes by. No. You're 2019. Next thing, you know, you're 23 and you graduate in 24. You get the dream job.

And guess what? Next thing, you know, you're 30. I lived it in my 30s. And then you're 34. And then all of some 38 creeps on it. And you have a nervous breakdown because you're 40 in two years. It happened to me. But you start writing.

confusing yourself and saying 40 is the new 30 and all the bullshit that goes with it. Garbage. And then, you know what, man? It's not, you never fall apart. If you take care of yourself, you will not fall apart. You are that staying in shape too. And you try to, listen,

when I did the longest yard from that point on, I got, after the longest yard, I gained another 40. I was so used to eat pastrami sandwiches. Well, for my third breakfast. The longest shot, I mean, you know. You know how much I eat on that fucking set? We were eating like, Savages.

We ain't good, man. We were eating like fucking savages. Oh, yeah, Adam Fedder's good. Savages, savages. Those fucking buffalo burgers at the hotel? No, I didn't touch those. No? No.

I touched the kids spaghetti and meet with the kids. I saw Irving. I saw a man over with the fight. I told you. Pick me up, gave me a big ass hug. He was hugging me for so long. Michael Irvin. We're sitting in the dining area one night.

It's a little room, maybe seats, 30 tables, maybe 25 tables. we're about three weeks until the longest shot. It's a Friday night. We have Saturday and Sunday off. Adam has to go do something. And that Friday night I decided

to go downstairs and have macaroni and cheese from the kids menu, Lee, at the hotel. A good hotel. Lee, you have no idea. I would call you up and say, I just had kids macaroni and cheese from somewhere. Not usually.

Your mind would blow up. and here's the beauty of it. It's the kid's menu, Lee, say that. That's the scary thing. This is what I ate for two weeks. I couldn't wait to get back to the hotel room. And listen, there was no reason for it, because I was galvoning it on that fucking set,

especially in Santa Fe. We had the smoothies, we had the prosciute, we had the fucking ham, the wet muts. But Lee, I couldn't wait to get to the hotel. They already knew. When I'd walk in, The kitchen was right there.

When you walk into the desk, the kitchen was right there. And I go, throw the order in. And I go to my room, take a shower, smoke a join in the balcony, come in, put my shorts on. I go downstairs and they'd have a table for me, Lee, with the kids' macaroni and cheese. Monja, baby, with a piece of bread. That was good shit.

Bleet, tremendous. Good shit. You wouldn't eat anything else. The kid's mac and cheese. In the morning, they had a little breakfast. for you. Yeah. You started the morning

off there, Lee, with a ball of meal. Nice coffee. Nice coffee. Two eggs, sunny side up. Mm-hmm. Tons of bacon, tons of fucking

saucers, strips, and tons of bread. Then you got in the van. Okay, Lee? You went to the fucking set. You went into tattoos. Mm-hmm. Right.

And you put your equipment on. And then from there, they would say to you, go eat. So 45 minutes later, Lee, you were back in the choward room with eggs, sausages, Polish sausage, pancakes,

French toast, whipped cream, waffles, cherries, bananas, protein shakes. Lee, you're like, what is it? I just had, I just had a new wardrobe every few weeks or something.

Oh my God, they bought extend the clothes for me. Now we ate good, we drank good, everything. You know what that's like, Lee? Your call is at eight. Right. But at seven, you're already eating like a doctor.

Like, you're like, I can go to prison and do life after this meeting. But it don't end. You're going to go on the set now. Is everyone doing it to it? No, no. People are adhering to their diets. Everybody's doing, everybody's smoking refo. I didn't have any of the producers.

You had no fucking idea. Then we went to the fucking set, and there was a room. Tell them how big the room was with benches. It looked like a prison cafeteria. Huge. And it had tables upon tables of cakes. I still never forget the night with Lobo. When they made me and Lobo work towards the end as a goof.

It just was a goof. They weren't going to use none of this shit. It was so bad. They put a picture of, I was supposed to be a tattoo artist. A Lobo was a tattoo artist of me. And he put a picture of what was the chick that we goofed on? That's on the view. The chick that's a comedian, Abel.

Joy Beahaw. Joe Beha. Remember that he liked Joy Beah? Because he says that her name. Right. So in those scenes, they put a tattoo on me. Well, that night, it was me, Lobo. I think Michael Lurvin had shot a scene early and a few other people. And it was a fucking chocolate fountain.

Were you there that now? No. I wasn't in that. A chocolate fountain. This is at the end of the shoot. Like, we haven't eaten enough. Like, we haven't eaten like fucking. pigs enough. And this is week 16.

There's nobody left in this movie shooting. It was me and Lobo. They just had us torturing us. What was that about? Was it something they added? They were just keeping us there to they were like three night shoots

and it was me and Lobo in LA? Yeah, at Fox Studios. Paramount. We went over there the one night. Our call was at four. They put makeup, you know, put your shoulder pads on, do this, do that.

Oh, we're going to break for dinner. Really? We just fucking got here. Yeah, but they were here shooting exteriors of planets and shit. You motherfuckers. We broke for dinner, we ate, and we sat around for another hour.

Then they put me and Lobo in a cell. And we do eight takes or something, and they go cut. All right. That's martini Rap and we're like Really You dirty motherfuckers

And then the next night we came in I didn't know this And it was a scene where Lobo was giving me a tattoo And I find out he fucks up He doesn't put Joy Bay on like that What did he put? Abe Lincoln or somebody Somebody different

He fucked up He put Oprah or something Yeah he put Oprah They never used any of that shit No it was pure garbage It was pure garbage. I knew as they were shooting it, this is a fucking story. I was at first, they're like, yeah, Adam wants to add all these scenes with you and Lobo,

and then they tried to reshoot the scene where we throw the toilet paper, which we just could not pull it off. Which one was that? The scene when we scored a winning touchdown, we're all supposed to be hurt. I get knocked out, Goldberg, somebody else, and somebody else. Ali, we're all in the hospital and if you watch the original when they scored the last touchdown.

Oh. We're in the hospital. Oh, you guys are in the hospital? Throwing toilet paper, fucking picking up a nurse. And at this point, it was me, Goldberg, Lobo, no, no, and Rob Schneider, played the nurse.

They never used it. No, we raped it. Oh, shit. Supposed, you see us throwing her shoes off on the band. Yeah, they're all going to use that. They're not going to use that. I'm not going to use that.

No. That was all added footage. That's the director's cut. Yeah. Yeah. It was all bullshit. They were not. They just kept us there.

And our calls were at four, and they cut us at exactly 11 o'clock. All right. Cut, Martin. What the fuck? Why don't we even do this? We're not going to shoot from this night. No, no, no. We're just going to.

Almost everything I did in that movie. It was practicing. It was. It was everything. Except the one scene with Chris Rock and Adam at the beginning. It was in one cut And it was very, very funny Where I did the push-ups

Right before You know, it had the whole big gunfire In the mess hall And Adam looks at me And I look at him and I go Brooklyn, bitch And it was very funny And then I think it was like

It almost like It took away from Adam And Chris's opening And they should have left it That was the one thing They didn't leave And they should have fucking left that But it was very funny

I remember, because I just did these five push-ups, and then he's like, yeah, so what? And I go, bitch, something like that. That was really fucking funny. It was really fucking funny. But most of the shit all made it, most of it, I mean. You know, you watch a film as a child, you watch a film as an adult. It's on every week. Can't believe me.

And then you get in the film, and now you watch it years later, and you see those takes. and you go, you know what, those takes weren't dick. It's what we were doing in between those takes that they were shot. And said, fuck the movie. Let these guys go. Like that, my memorable thing on that movie was the day we ate that cranberry sauce and the chicken. That was definitely, for me,

I never laughed that hard in my life. If you think I was laughing with the little rascals and Chusby Usby, that was funny, but... That was the week. Okay, Lee, let me tell you something. You know me lately. Lee's been around me for five years. Six years.

If I tell you that at that point, every weed I had was good. But for some reason, that particular week of the longest yard, and I still remember who called me and said, Joey, I know you're a long time, I know you like marijuana. Do you have $800?

And I go, what's $800 going to get me? And he goes, Joey, I'll come over and bring a sample. But I tell you what, I got three pounds left. And I'm going to bring a sample to another guy. When you see this and smoke this, you're going to want this. I said, okay, he brought me maybe two grams of this shit. I smoked a skinny joint, and I almost passed out. This was the next level.

At that point, whatever I was smoking after 2004 was good. When I got the Albuquerque, I had that blueberry hill. That was good. That got me high. When I was a kid, I used to smoke chocolate tie in New York from Harlem, from the fucking Arastafarians, whatever, from Jamaica. That was the shit that killed McDady. But this weed took me to the next level.

So when he told me 800 for the number he wanted me, there was only one man. I had the money at the house. So I told the guy, I said, you know what, show up with two of them tomorrow. The guy showed up with two out of three next day. I paid him. The next day I went in there. I went to a certain black dude that was. was on our set.

And I said, here, smoke a joint of this. And the next day he came up to me. He goes, what's the number on that? And I said, what an ounce? And he goes, no, a pound, motherfucker. And I said, give me like 12. 12, what? Pounds?

1,200. And he goes, you know what? Give him 1,200. And I said, it's in the trunk of the fucking car. And I said, I gave you another one. He goes, give me another 1,200. That's how fast it went. It was a miracle.

this weed was tremendous. It fucked you up. What did you feel? You just felt fucking stone like goofy. For 45 minutes you would lose, you know, conscience. Like you couldn't focus on your words or shit. Did you smoke it while you were working? Oh, please.

We smoked it. A lot of people were high in that movie. Oh, so here's what happened. Not me. The day that we shoot that scene with the turkey and the cranberry You were laughing a lot, right? And the chicken. Yeah, the chicken.

The chicken and the cranberry sauce was mashed potatoes. That was the day you were on this? And now, here's the funny thing about it. There was a group of kids there that Mori Polvich had brought on the show because he was friends with Goldberg. But this was also, ironically, the day I show up with two pounds

of this weed on the set. This guy took it in this trailer, started rolling up fucking blunts and started passing them out. We smoked this shit. And I'll tell you what, I was never so hungry in my life. So we're sitting at this table. And I'll never forget the cranberry sauce.

Had to be 10 inches from me. I started on the cranberry sauce. And then someone else started on the cranberry sauce, because eight of us at that table had smoked that shit. So everybody was fucking hungry. You don't remember? They got mad because we kept eating the chicken and the cranberry sauce. They had to go get more, and they finally goes, guys, enough.

There's no more left. Oh, I think I do remember that. We fucking went nuts. That was why we were going nuts because we were stoned on the same weed. And this weed was so fucking strong and so next level fucking weed. Like every eight months you smoke a weed that you're like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. I'm going to store tomorrow.

I'm buying the rest of this and I'm putting in the safe. Because this is why I'm going to be smoking when that missile the Korean sends over. Yeah. This is what I'll be smoking. You went to another place, huh? Oh, my God, for 45 minutes, then for 40 minutes after that, you would just high. And then 30 minutes after that, you have to go to your house and eat everything. Oh, yeah, the munchies.

Peter, butter and jelly, to the potato chips. Or I made you hungry? To the fruit, to the ice cream. Anything. The blow pop, the fucking old money got. Devil dogs. The fried rice, the devil dogs. You wake up the next morning and go, oh, my God, I'm constipated.

Right. I had six devil dogs, fruit. Yeah. Anything you can get your hands on. Whatever your wife bought for the kids, that's a gana. That goes down the fucking drain. The fucking munchies, man. That's crazy.

I loved, like, I don't know. I always felt fucked up about alcohol. Alcohol since day one just wasn't for me, man. My mom had the bar. I would try it from time to time. My mom would put my bib, my, my, What's that shit to pacify and Blackberry brandy when I was a kid? That aftertaste of whatever.

I have a friend that drinks vodka. I don't see him much, but whenever I do, he drinks vodka. And I liked one vodka in orange juice with an extra splash of orange juice. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That vodka alcohol flavor gets me gagging all the fucking time. It does, huh? It's not the best.

Vodka's a little near. How about rum? Like rum? I like dark rum with a Coke. Yeah. A little splash of fucking lemon or cherry or a lime. Not bad. I like, if I had a gun to my head, a little gin and tonic with a lime, a ginger ale with a fucking little do-as, maybe.

Seven and seven. Maybe doers on the rocks. I could dig with more rocks. I also like an Irish cream on the rocks from time to time. The only time I drink is one cocktail on the plane. But I'll tell you what, the last like six months. months I don't even take that cocktail no more. You don't drink wine?

And I should. I should drink a nice glass of red wine. Look, red wine is good for the blood. Every three days. Yeah. I should drink some wine. I'm not, I'm slipping. Thank you for reminding. I see Italians believe in wine. That's why I live to 98. Gotta have a little.

Even the big fat ones that eat spaghetti once a week. With pasta, all with a nice steak. Thank you for showing up with the blue cheese buns. Don't worry. It's my pleasure. You know? I like to cook. Oh, you know, I didn't make the pizza, but the bombs are special.

What's going on with the sauce? We need an investor for the sauce. Yeah, we do need an investor. We need an international investor for Nick's sauce. No, this is a... Uncle Nicky's red sauce. The last time he was on here, Lee still talks about the sauce.

It was great, right? It was delicious. It was the best sauce I've had it, and it was fucking cold. I know. Jesus Christ. People have been asking me, you know, how do I get it? We need investors. We need investors.

Blue. Come through with this sauce. You're fucking cold. fucking people. You know, we should put this fucking theme. You ever hear the old Yankee theme from the 1970s? The song, you can bring it up on the fucking soap. It pumps me up.

The old Yanke, it's the Yankee theme song. It gets me fucking going. I dare you. From the 70s. Get me going. Get me ready for tomorrow. Yeah, put it on. Put it on.

Just put it on. Just fucking. I had to respect. He's older than you. And he's been listening to the Yankees. When you were itching your daddy's pants. Get the one from the 1970s Yankee theme song. I love this.

You had a horn. Yeah, theme song. Yeah, theme song from the Yankee theme song. You're going to love it. Go for it, baby. I think this is it. There it is. Turn it up.

Listen to this, Joey. Oh, wow. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Do-dud-dood-dood. Woo! That was a kid, W-P-A-X. Bobby Mercer,

Thurman Munson, Salarino Sanchez, Horace Clark, Roy White. Holy cow! Here we come! The New York Gagies. Tomorrow night, the baby bombers.

Beat those fucking Minnesota twins. Otherwise, my whole week, my whole month's going to be fucking jacked. Let's do the acoustics. This is to the acoustics. Hear the trombone This is beautiful It brings me back to my kid days

I'll be watching this I listen to the whole song On WPiX 11 Oh man I wouldn't come out of the house Not until the game was over Now do you still watch the game On the New York feed

Yes Really? Yeah I watched the whole game On the New York On the yes channel now I get the yes channel and then when the games are on WPIX, I get the baseball. So give me the playoff picture as it stands right now for the people that are not

what your prediction. I want the whole thing. What do you got? You got a dog in this wally? Well, right now, you know, tomorrow night the Yankees are playing Minnesota for the wild card game. The Yankees won the first wild card. They came up two games short of the Red Sox.

So they now have to play the second wild card team. They used to just be one wild card team. That would play the wild card team would play the team with the best. record. But now, because there's two wildcard teams, a second wild card team, you have to play this one stupid Russian roulette game.

So the Yankees, if they get through this game tomorrow night, then we'll play Cleveland who has the best record. And then the Red Sox will play Houston. And then over in the National League, the Dodgers will play the winner of Wednesday night's National League wild card game, which is the Diamondbacks and the Rockies.

The winner of that will play the Dodgers who have the best record in the National League and the Washington Nationals will play the Cubs and the other the other divisions. So the winner of the Cubs National will probably play, you know, the Dodgers will probably get past the Diamondbacks or the Rockies. I think the Diamondbacks will beat the Rockies and I think the Dodgers will beat them and then I think the Cubs will upset the Nationals always choke in the playoffs. I think the Yankees will beat Minnesota tomorrow night and they'll have a hard time against the Indians.

but I still like their chances. And the Red Sox, the Astros are definitely favored, but I wouldn't be sure. Anything could happen. Anything could happen. The Astros are National League. They went from the National League to the American League. Like the Milwaukee Brewers just missed out on the playoffs.

They were an American League team who transferred, you know, switch leagues. It's weird because the Astros were always a National League team. They belong in the National League. And the Brewers really always belonged in the American League. But I don't know why those teams switched leagues. but it's working it's working but the dream world series would be the Yankees and the Dodgers

I mean if the Yankees could get that far I would be I mean they're coming that baby bombers they had this kid Aaron Judge who had an incredible rookie year 50 two home runs he's 6 foot 7 270 pounds and he can fucking hit man he can really and he got hot again he had a bad

month but he came out of it and he's fucking his other kid Gary Sanchez Dominican kid he's some hit it too but he can't catch the ball that good he's a The ball goes through his legs. He's a little bit on the dumb side, but he can fucking hit. He can really hit this kid, Didi Grigorous, shortstop. He's had a great year.

And tomorrow night we got our stud, young stud, Sanchez, Severino going. He's a Dominican kid who put it all together. So tomorrow night, the key is they've got to just get the lead in the game. Get the lead and don't get behind. And he's got to pitch your head. He can't get behind in the counts. If he gets behind, he can get fucking hurt. Because anybody can lose one game.

So, you know, one game, it's a skis. scary, you know, scary thing. I'm going to be on edge tomorrow. So they got one game. Yeah, they got one game they got a win to play a series now. So the winner of that game will play Cleveland. So, you know, tomorrow night it's fucking, it's going to be touchy. Five o'clock.

Well, five o'clock out here, eight o'clock there. So, you know, it's not going to be a comfortable game because anything could happen in one fucking game. Anything. You know, how many things could go wrong? I was telling my brother today, he goes, well, you're really pessimistic. You should be happy. I said, well, I've got to think about what could.

go wrong? Or what about what could go right? I said, never mind what I know what could go right. It's what could go wrong. That fucking worries me. So, because baseball, you know, it's little things that people that are not hardcore fans don't know. They don't really understand what went wrong. A pass ball,

an error, a stupid fucking play that could change the whole game. You could throw the game into whack or, you know, you're going to watch out. You don't want to have a crooked inning where you give up three, four runs in an inning. If you're going to give up a home run, you better make sure nobody's on fucking base.

Anyway, it's, you know, I'm looking forward to the game, but I'm not because, you know, I know that if they don't win that game tomorrow, it's going to be, you know, I can beat the Dodgers. Who could beat the Dodgers? I mean, the Cubs, the Cubs could beat the Dodgers. You know, I don't, I don't think the Diamondbacks or the Rockies are going to beat the Dodgers. I don't think the Nationals will beat the Dodgers.

I mean, the Cubs, maybe. I think the Dodgers are going to go to the World Series this year. I really do. I mean, Kershaw, it's about time that he has a great, great postseason. And they got a fucking stud guy there, too, Bellinger and Seeger. I mean, and the Pueger's having a better year that the Wild Cuban. I think the Dodgers, you know, this is the year they get over the hump and go to the World Series, possibly win it.

They have a good, Yankees have a great bullpen, too. The Yankees have three great guys. So the bullpens are key too. And no Red Sox is yelling? No Red Sox are playing the Astros, yeah. Oh, that's right. They have a great closer. That sounds nice, but the Red Sox are going to win.

Well, the Red Sox, if they beat the Astros and the Yankees. Look at Lee. He knows. I have that. I've seen zero games, so I have no idea what I'm saying. Yeah, so it all starts tomorrow night. Tomorrow night and Wednesday, the two wild card games. And then Friday and Saturday will start the division series.

So, you know, let's just hope and pray after tomorrow. night, you know, Yankee fans have another, have something to look forward to, because it's a long fucking year, 162 to be out of one game, it's horrible. I'm stoned. You're stoned? Stop with that bottle, God damn, and I thought it was my bottle fucking cracking, people get pissed

off, they jump out of their skin. Yeah. Good to see you, my brother. You too, pal. You look good. Thank you. The fucking blue cheese muffin. Yeah. It was just delicious. I couldn't look at it no more. It was killing me. It's like knowing You have something in the refrigerator,

and you're sitting there watching fucking TV. It's 1130. Nothing like good food, you know? You're getting hungry and hungry about a goddamn minute. How's your child doing in Chicago? He's doing well. He's doing good, yeah. Is he adjusting?

He's adjusting, you know, and the Midwest is a little slow, but he likes it. He's writing a lot of fucking rap songs right now. He's got some good shit. Not bad, he's getting good at it. You know, it's crazy how, after I spoke to you, you told me, I don't know. It's tough for a kid.

I was writing about where I, I was in 19, the place I moved, and I remember that the theme was, it was weird, but this is great. I'm on my own. Nobody fucking knows me. I'm meeting people. Right.

People saying hello to me. You know. It's got to be. You're 18. Yeah. It's a fucking tremendous. Great opportunity. You know, you have a little money in your pocket.

You don't want to go to a bar and you can't do anything anyway. You're done anyway. You can't drink. Right. So you enjoy the little things. I'm good with fucking drinking a beer. He went to see Hamilton there. He went to the fights over there.

He was hanging out with Pauli Malinagi one night. So he's experiencing things. I'm like, man, that's fucking great. He lives in the dorm. He lives in the building, like, right in the city. Yeah. A lot of kids, you know, so. We're in there watching Game of Thrones and all this shit.

This is what you do. Yeah. It's a little different in the house, but you know what I'm adjusting. The house is empty. Well, you know, he's... had such a bit, the kids were always there, all the Crespi boys, that the house was always filled with, you know,

with all his people. And so now it's like, wow, everybody's gone. You know, my daughter's still there, and she's doing this crew box thing that she's, you got to come out and do a class. It's fucking good in West Hollywood. She's an instructor. It's really, it's a good workout. You both you guys,

you would like this crew box. It's fucking, you know, listen, man, you don't got to be a boxer. Look at a fucking Montadell over here. fucking sweat it out man that's mush any mush? Oh my god I didn't think he bets on it even if he watches the team

He's getting so bad by watching The team now oh man He's been watching New England Patriots They're one and three with him With him watching Yeah you don't want to jinx him Another two and two He jinxed him

You gotta watch another team that you hate from that one I may believe you like him And go against New England That's you got to watch the Jets or Miami The Jets won two games They said they were not even win a game And football is so mediocre now I'm not a hardcore football guy

But you know for me Baseball is everything I grew up in football I love Steelers I love I like the Vikings When I was a kid I loved that Sunday night family game

I've been watching a quarter lately Three four plays I don't I don't care about what's going on right now You remember when we were kids This weekend Saturday night This week in football It was beautiful The guy had a great voice

You'd watch the highlights I missed that simplicity of sports Now it's 24-7 in your face. Everybody's got a network. Everybody's got analyzation. It's the like when sports, there was more to the imagination. Every sport. You know, you couldn't see every game.

You had to listen to the game. You had to wait for the game. Now these fuckers are on, you know, all day long, the same shit, 24. I'm like, it's overkill. Do I need to hear this shit all day? I want to have something to dream about. You know, it's just like a. You want to be with a woman.

You don't want to see her all the time. You want to have something to look forward to. That's the problem with sports. You're correct. Correct, Doug. I can argue with you. I don't believe he was going to say something. Lee, when you fuck up my shit.

Go ahead. What were you going to say? Oh, well, no. I was thinking about that today because I was watching the video for the 2004 World Series. And I was in high school. I'm pretty sure. Maybe you're 8th grade. And I just can't... I can't explain how happy I got watching that video today.

I watched the first, like, 45 minutes. I was a Red So you know that. And it was... Like, they don't have social media then. And I get it. Like, I totally get why they have it now. But there's, like, a mystique to it, like, what Nick was saying. Yeah.

And, like, I just got emotional thinking about how... Like, that team, like, really the whole... Like everywhere you went It wasn't even like It was just like instead of hello Like the rents house Like do you see that last night Like it was pretty good

It was amazing You know there's an abundance of podcasts And they're coming in with shows now Whatever And I don't get angry So in my business It's a free country That's why we live in this country

We each have opportunities But I gotta tell you what I don't want to hear Any more is like sports shows If you can't sleep like a guy like me. Some nights I get home. I can't sleep. You know, I get home at 11. It's not going to happen until one. I'm already committed to it. I'll watch those ESPN shows just so I know I try to learn what's going on. Right.

And they're unwatchable. Especially the ones that they talk shows and they argue about sports, I'm over that. Why should I feel stressed out about the Yankees or the Redskins? It stresses you out. Excuse me, sir? It stresses you out, those shows. Yeah, the arguing, the yelling. when I think you're wrong

Simon, I see the Minnesota Vikings as underdogs here You know what I like In New York WFAN You know sports talk radio But in the middle of the night, 3.30 in the morning Put that little fucking radio on transistor And you hear some nut job caller

In the middle of three o'clock At the morning It's great He's talking to this fucking guy at night Middle of the night overnight guy I find it soothing I find it like you know this guy's up

people are up 3 o'clock 3 30 fucking making phone calls and arguing about talking shit they gotta train him he's a fucking bo-saintiff this is rainy right now I know right now what are we gonna do

I try a little I had a buddy but it's funny we used to shoot heroin and listen to that shit and then there were 20 minutes get involved like he'd go for the phone yeah

you forget the phone number yeah and he'd go back to sleep then the argument would come back yeah you think you're dreaming or some shit.

It was a trip. But that fucking radio on him. By your ear, it's nice. It's funny. Little low radio. My mother used to keep a little low radio on. And then I would fuck with him. I would grab his ankle and fucking pull his leg.

And I go, he'd go, what, though? And I go, hurry up. They want to know if you want to talk to Pete Rose on the phone. I torment them three or four times. Really? Oh, my God. Those are, you know, it's so funny when you're going through shit that is not. enjoyable in your life. You go through a rough patch. There's always this bright light. In 93, I was going

to the worst part of my divorce. The cards were gone. The car was gone. I was trying to do comedy. That's all I really wanted to do. I didn't want to do a day job, but I found the pigeon who had a bunch of valiums for sale for like 35 cents on a dollar. And I told him to give me a box to them, that I'd be back on a week, and I never came back. I stayed down. fucking jersey and I was fighting it out. 1993 in New York City, the summer delivering phones, delivering

packages, selling tickets for a comedy club I'm just learning the ropes, you know? But my roommate at the time was on heroin and it was my own private little reality show and my job was just to torture but that was his thing that I'd be sleeping and also had to hear

like a conversation in the middle of the night and I wake up and I'm like, what the fuck? And it'd be George on heroin like this with his mouth open with the fucking string around his arm still with a little blood coming out of his arm and he'd be laying there fucking listening to sports radio and then the argument would ensue and he would just get up out of nowhere and start arguing with me.

Dog, that's bullshit. The Yankees have been doing worse since they signed that guy. What the fuck's his asshole? No. what do he say the number was? And I feed him like a fake number. And he'd go for the phone, pick up the phone and start dialing. And then he'd say to me, what's the number?

And he'd light a cigarette. And he'd forget the number. And he'd go, what's the number? And I go, do what? And I'd give him the house phone number. And he would call the house phone number like three numbers. And he would just pass out. And then I would leave him like that.

For about 25 minutes. I go out and watch TV or the news. leave him with the cigarette burning. His mouth. Oh my God. You know me. I'm a torture job. I come back 15 minutes later.

The cigarette's about to burn him. The cigarette's about to burn him. And I wake him up. And go, George, what happened to Pete Rose? He's like, huh? And I go, fucking Pete Rose was on the phone. You were going to talk to him about the 1973 World Series. He goes,

Oh, Pete. What are you doing Pete? There was no Pete there. No Pete. I thought I would laugh my ass off with this kidney. Oh, that's funny shit. And it was every night when I got home. So I get home from the city, working all day 9.30, and he'd already be on fire.

Or he'd be waiting for Grandma to go to bed because Grandma knew he was a heroin junkie. So she'd watch him like a hawk. Wow. So about 11.15, Doug, he'd be scratching the skin off his first. fucking arms. And once he crawled on the bed day,

he'd make just thinking about it makes me laugh because he'd be like the TV Sabbath bloody Sabbath and he'd be watching the TV very thing

like the press like it wasn't bothered him but I knew he was eating himself up alive inside every minute I'd grandma

and sometimes sometimes I knew he wanted her to go in and I knew that if I kept grandma out there it would torture him so

so every time she'd go okay I'm going to go no no grandma wants his part in the movie and he would turn pale he would turn pale he would turn pale I did this for my two times

then I tell her grandma go to bed the parts not to let it and she wouldn't be inside but 10 seconds like he would do you good night good night grandma he may believe

like nothing was happened and all of a sudden at the count of 10 he'd just get up and run to his fucking bathroom he'd have the work's hidden already in there he'd have the heroin

in the syringe he was ready to go and he'd fucking go in the bathroom flag himself up I'd count like the 15 and then I'd either knock on Grandma's door or they had a big gong in the hallway. And I would hit the gong and then go back to the chair.

And then she would come out with a rope on. What the fuck is that? And I go, oh, grandma. She goes, somebody here? What, what happened? And, like, I'm not in Grandma. She goes, where's George? And then I go, I don't know.

Grandma, I think he's in the bedroom. I try to throw her off. And he would hear me. I think he's in the bedroom sleeping, Grandma. Where is George? And I see the bedroom, like, did you leave the bathroom in the light? Hold on, let me see George. And she'd shoot back there and open up the door.

George is not in here. That's George in the fucking bathroom. And she would run for the bathroom and start banging on the door. George, open the bathroom. And George would open the bathroom all fucked up. Oh, my God. He'd hide the syringe. You could still smell.

She'd run in there. I smell that shit. I smell that shit. I smell that in here. Open that fucking window. Oh, she knew? Oh, everybody knew. What year was this?

1993. It was the best was grandma went to Panama for a month. And he moved into her little bedroom. George? George. And at that time, how he made a living was, he chipped him for rent and what he did was

he sub-rented himself as a framer once a month he's very good of framing pictures that's what he does for a living tremendous oh you mean today still at that time

when he was doing the age for a while there he dropped out lived off his living sold his car but then once he tried to get back on his feet he went to like his first rehab he was still getting high a little bit that was fucking rough

because I was a mess I was living and working in Manhattan so on the way home I'd stop up on 178th Street and pick up a grandma tutelhoots for 35 bucks I'd take the bus like nothing happened over the bridge I'd go home and do a couple bumps watch TV jerk off call an ex-girlfriend trying to make it come over and suck my dick

she'd say no you know stupid shit I was a kid yeah I was on coke but he was back there doing age so he got a job as a framer and he cut a deal with them to work four ten hour days because he was that good

he goes I don't want to fuck around I want to work four ten hour days and have three days off oh my God framing houses framing pictures at a mall and paramas we lived in Cliffside Park

they were paying them a good hourly wage and a base salary and a percentage of what pictures whatever he framed that they sold, he was making a nice dollar. And he was working, brother. And he would probably do a little taste to heroin in the morning

to keep him together all day. And I had a couple friends that were on heroin. I had him and Bonehead. I had another friend Bonehead. He was always on heroin. He had his own plumbing business. You wouldn't know it, because in the daytime, he was a businessman.

At night, we go into a fucking Washington Square Park and go to mix all these alehouse and fucking get pills and fucking heroin from him and he'd disappear in the bathroom and I'd have to drive the van home it was tremendous when you're a kid

that's tremendous shit but that other guy What did heroin do it What kind of high is that? Yeah that's pretty Oh my God Haven't been a kid And going to the Bronx

In the early 70s Those people were everywhere Yeah nodding on the cross light Waiting for the light to change That's a fucking crazy drug That's a bad drug right And the shit

They were pumping All that American gangster and Nikki Barnes and all those stories. Let me tell you something. Like any other criminal enterprise in the movie, it looks alluring and it looks okay. But what they did to that community, no matter how generous Nikki Barn was or the character that played before he was Denzel's, you know, when Denzel was his bodyguard, that guy, they were both generous. businessmen, but their general business was heroin, which was just fucking

destroyed a lot of lives, a lot of people. And then the mafia cut it on the business, the Jews had it first, and the mafia cut it on that, you know, because it was a $50,000 investment, you walk away with $400,000 profit. Yeah. But not go ahead, like me and you,

400,000. It takes us three weeks to sell it. Well, you fucking nuts. We're doing one of those every month. Yeah. 200 Gs a month. It's standing on the corner. We're going to stay on that stupid fucking corner. That's why the old wives guys,

they didn't want you to mess around with what they call it, babagna or something. Because it's a lot of dough. But if you sold it and I'm your captain, if you tell me it's bookmaking money, even though I've heard rumors that you're selling heroin, I'm still going to take it. Right.

It was always a very two-edged sword. Right. If you know how to present it the right way. If you know how to present it, yeah. Now if they question you But if they found out What corner am I am? Yeah

What corner am I? Well no They said you're in cahoots with Joe Diaz No, no, no, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I know Joe Diaz for 10 years I know he does something He came to me for an all-purpose loan He's paying Vig payments

That's my partner's shit with him So you're not in the heroin business, no. I get payments on him from fucking little Vig Yeah Why do he tell somebody he's in business with me? I don't know, was he in the mess? How big is your umbrella? I'm getting a big envelope.

What do you care where it's coming from? It's not everyone. Let's move on. That's what it... You're making money. I'm making money. Lee's getting an envelope. Oh, shit.

You're the biggest... What's going on? No, I'm happy. Yeah. What's going on? That's what happened. If I say no to you, if I say to you, you can't fuck,

fucking midgets in the ass no more. All right, you're going to stop fucking midges in the ass But how can I tell you to stop doing something That I'm trying to make money on Don't you want free money? If I came to you every week And gave you $500 every Friday And you took it

And your wife said, you don't take it no more He's a child pornographer Are you going to take my nickel every week Or are you going to turn your back? I'm going to nickel Who knows? Who knows what people's judgment is? Yeah. But that's what the mafia did.

They didn't care. Right. They don't fucking give a fuck. Not real. Look at the end, they all found out they were all selling heroin. At the end, in the end, all of them were double-crossing each other. Right. All of them were double-crossed.

Don't do this, don't do that. And then there's a way to tip-ar-round. What if Lee wants to get into heroin, but Lee could only move three kilos a month. But I know a way for Lee to sell eight kilos a month. The only problem is Lee's got to run the whole hour. operation. What I'm going to do is get Lee started. Right. And Lee's, I'm an owner.

I'm 50% in. Lee's not in the mafia. It doesn't matter. Lee's selling the heroin, and he's loyal and he's going to give me 50%, which you're going to get a fucking taste up, Nikki. What the fuck do you give a fuck? And then you're going to come to me when they goes, bro, there's a thousand

rumors going around there you sell heroin. No. Who am I selling heroin with? The fucking little Jew? No. I lent him money. If he sells heroin, that's his business. Right. How he pays my loan back? That's my fucking business.

You get a piece of those loans, right? Well, I didn't know you put it that way. Yeah, there's no drug in the law. Whatever he does, he's a Jew. He's got nothing to do with his job. He ain't bothered him, but he wants to move 22 pounds of heroin. He's a true. Yeah, he ain't bother nobody.

Now, now, let's pretend. I did blend him money and he's paying me back but at the end of the month he's starting to reach out he's fucking around with the Chinese he's fucking around with some brothers up in Holland yeah the Jew don't feel safe so the Jew wants to pay us a taste

so he could throw our name around right that's it that's it they don't know that you're going out at night with a fucking half a package worth $82,000 right taking it to Florida fucking some Puerto Ricans down there

waiting for a fucking envelope. They don't know that. They don't care. They don't want to know you don't need to tell them. If you went to your captain and said, listen, I'm doing a heroin deal

and I'm going to make 80,000 on the way back, I'm going to come over and drop 30. Yeah. Fuck you. You think that guy's going to tell you don't do the deal? Fuck you.

You're going to give 30 Gs out of your 80 and nobody knows nothing. You don't have to be. to give a taste upstairs. He can give a taste upstairs and tell him it's anything just to cover his ass in case you ever tell him it was heroin money. So he'll take it, but he'll give a piece upstairs. This is something Nicky bumped into. Right. What do you mean Nicky bumped into? Yeah, I don't know what he bumped into. Something with the

fucking music industry is running up and around with a bunch of fucking little Italian kids jumping up and down in the town. That's it. Nicky gets busted for heroin. Didn't you bring me money, Nicky? Yeah, I don't fucking know. He's not with me. Right. I lent them money years ago. Also, he came to me and he said he was reaching out.

And if he gave me a little taste, would I protect him? I don't need to know what his business was. I don't even selling hot shoes. That's it. Right. And besides, I gave you a taste. That's what that was. Yeah.

You know, I wouldn't give you drug money. Yeah, okay. Forget it. Everybody looks the other way. Yeah, no. They don't give a fuck. On paper, if you're selling heroin, you give me 10 grand a week, I don't give a fuck.

That's $40,000 a month. Can you imagine somebody handing you $480,000 a year? And he reports just to you. The other guy, Paul Costello, had two dudes. They just reported to him. One guy that was on the board of directors of Tannenbaum. That guy. I forget what his name is.

Board of Directors of Tannenbaum was like that in supermarket and all over New York, whatever. And I was telling Lee that what this guy did was he put an extra lane in every supermarket that the store didn't know about. That went right upstairs to the mob. Can you imagine?

Oh, really? They had, I don't know how many supermarkets. What was the lane consist of? Check out. 1970. It was lane number 13. Oh, it was a checkout. The corporate headquarters never knew about.

So all that money? Went right to the mafia. The lane number 13 at all. That was a mob lane. Mob lane. So if you were enrolled 13, whatever went into that cash register, nobody knew about.

A guy came every day, emptied it, and took it to the fucking, took it to a room and threw it in the kick. It could be three, four hundred dollars, but what if you got... What was that store? Strout cannon bombs or something Wow

It's a really fucked up world, bro What people do for cash It don't matter They don't give a fuck What do you think, Lisa? How are you feeling, buddy? You're fucked up It's all over

You're lucky Uncle Nick brought you Some pizza And a napkin He was in before You had to hear him people He's like, ah I don't know You should take the pizza with you

I'm going to throw it away anyway You can have it I know you can have it He's a savage Heat it up. He put it in the oven. There's no home tonight. Don't put it in the...

His home is that constant. Oh, it is? Yeah, but you don't want to put that in the microwave. We'll eat another couple of stars now. No. Look, I'm saying, he's ready. He ain't ready. He knows it.

Hey, you know what drug I had when I had the epidurals last year? The Michael Jackson drug, that was fucking good. I got to tell you that. How did they give it to you? And put me on my stomach, everybody in the room, and an injection, I guess. They froze me, and they said, we're going to get. You're going to give you this fucking propothal. You're going to go out in 10 seconds.

But I'll tell you where I went to like some happy, happy fucking place. I was so happy. Like you have a dream where you feel like you're... I mean, I never was so happy. And then I woke up crying, bawling like crying my ass off. But I was so happy when I took that drug. I wonder why Michael got... That's a powerful drug.

Can you imagine why you feel that happier your body? like it just takes over your dopamine like even cold. It was weird. Yeah, it's weird. I was in this place. When you have surgery. Very, very happy place. Yeah, warm. It's warm. Then I woke up and I was crying and I was. It's a weird fucking feeling.

Yeah. But when you go out, those first fucking six or seven minutes. I couldn't believe they said, you know, you're going to be out in ten seconds. I said, you're sure, you're sure? I don't remember nothing. Nothing after that. You're talking shit. Yeah. Dogg, they tape those.

Who knows? You talk shit for like an hour after. The one guy talked to me when I had my elbow. He said my eyeballs were open the whole time and I was talking smack through the whole thing. I said, really? He said, yeah. Because you were really funny.

Your eyes were wide open. I said, they were wide open. And you were talking nonstop. It's crazy what you're saying when you don't know what you're saying. Because dreaming is weird, you know? I hate those fucking dreams where you're trying to wake up. You can't wake up.

Man, you're fighting a dream, you know? I have weird dreams in hotels. I do, too. Especially when I have to eat edibles to fall asleep. I have to eat edibles to help me go to sleep, and I go overboard to get really high. You go to sleep, and your dreams are in color and vivid, and you have retarded dreams.

I have dreams that I left my wife and daughter to go back with my high school sweetheart, who got rid of her fucking boyfriend to live down in Rumson, New Jersey. Oh, boy. This chick sucked 80 dicks. Oh, my God. But the time she was 25.

I'm going to leave my wife to go back. You're going to go back to that? And I woke up like what is... So many dicks running out. I woke up thinking, what the fuck. And I like, I still talk to, I like, I respect the... The blood jump girl? Which one? Yeah.

I still love it at that. She's like one of my favorite people. She always had my back, and I always had my back on her. But I had one of those dreams this weekend. And I had a dream that I was somewhere, and my wife came in with the baby, and she didn't bring the baby over,

or she didn't come over and say hello. So I went up to her a little while late. I go, what did you come up to me? And she goes, what did you end up doing last night? And I go, nothing. And she goes, how come somebody called and said, you're on the run. The cops are looking for you for like a stabbing or something.

That was horrible. Wow. That was horrible. In the dream. I thought the cops were looking for me. That's horrible. I don't even know what the cops are looking for me for. I can't lie to you.

I don't know why. I remember telling my wife, why didn't you come to me? She was like I couldn't. The cops were about to arrest you. They were standing like 20 feet from me. Why were they going to arrest me? And I don't know after that.

No, you go to that stupid mumbo-jumbo, talking about whatever. Did they meet anything dreams? Yes, they do. I think so. What do you think, Lee? I don't know. I think it has to definitely has to do with what you're thinking about at the moment, but... Do you have deja vuzzly? All the time.

Airports, planes, stuff like that. Do you feel you were there before? Yeah. Really? It's interesting. I always thought so, too. I get them once in a not every time. When I was a kid, I got a kid. him so much that before I even heard that mumbo-jumbo about reincarnation, I thought I was reincarnated. Like I knew I had lived before. I knew all that stuff. That's fucking crazy to admit, but that's the truth.

You go to church, Joey? Lately, I'll hit it this Sunday. I'll hit a 7.30 mass this Sunday if I can't. It's very interesting for me now, how I feel about it. There's no pressure. When I go, I have a great time. Take the bread? Sure, sure.

Drink the wine? No, no, no, never. That gives you the fucking fluids dirty. A bunch of people don't brush their teeth. I know. You're going to see how I drink it. I put my mouth above the thing like... That's Manichovets.

I don't even get a bit of it. But for some reason I get a kick out of it. Don't drink that shit. That shit makes you sick as a dog. You think so? I know for a fact. Sources, it don't take a fucking genius to know that drinking out of a cup

that 100 people are going to drink them. Let's say your number past 10 your odds go up more. Maybe I'll stop. Now you get my head. You got me thinking. No, no, no. You tell them beautiful. Thank you. But none next time. You eat the cookie, you say a prayer,

and a ronka. You put a film in the past. Yeah. Arranka, let's go. Arranka. Let's go. I'm going to sit down here. I'm going to talkin de cagga.

That's a car of cahle. mother. That's good. Yeah, no, it's pretty funny how my philosophy on church, especially how much I believed and when I stepped away,

although you know, once your mom dies at 16, you lose, you believe. What God takes your mother at 16? No God. Fuck it. I'm not going to fucking church no more. Why am I going to go to church? It's all bullshit. Yeah.

So I stepped the fuck out of it. After I got locked up, I went back to church for a while. And I liked it. the guy married me I went to church on my own there on Sunday but I got forced into that I caught me this mass the 11 o'clock that's too much time

for Uncle Joey that's too much commitment that hour and a half every week I tell you what I've been doing is the 5 o'clock 5 o'clock is the profession On Sunday not bad No I found one with a lot of good music Half hour

Yeah 40 men but the music's good You know my son's school I was going to his school masses last few years, they're the Carmelites. I actually like, maybe because it was a high school. I don't know,

I just kind of dug the Carmelites a little bit. A little different. Still a little different style. Are they still Catholic? Yeah, they're Catholic. But they wear brown. They wear brown. And I don't know.

They just seem not as up, you know, I don't know. They just seem maybe not as uptight as the regular priests. But they're, you know, they're Catholics too. Musics are pretty good. I like the music. Like I said, I enjoy twice a month now.

How old is your daughter now? Four and a half. Wow. She's not right. She goes to our church with a mother down the corner. Some whatever Stamink your church. At four and a half. Can't believe you have a daughter four and a half.

That's wild. Really? And it gets wilder every day, Nick. And you went through it. She's four and a half. She's a girly girl. Tonight she was showing me a new dresser. She got with Mommy on Saturday.

She loves the skirt, Denny, don't you love the skirt? Little girls are the best. She's the goods. Yeah. When they get older, they get very complicated. But when they're little, there's something about little girls.

They're just like the most sweetest things. They're just so innocent. She runs the joint. Yeah. There's a scene in Narcos when his brother-in-law comes to visit him. And Pablo tells him, he goes, Jesus, she's getting bigger every day.

She's beautiful. And Bobba goes, brother. At the end of the day, she runs the house. I just pay the bills, and she tells me what to do. And that's exactly how I live in people. I had to meet somebody this morning. I told, listen, I thought the schedule this week was I'll pick her up at school at 5.30. We're cool.

I'm packing my computer. I'm packing my notebook. I'm ready to go meet this cat. She comes in this morning. Daddy, where are you going to meet? No, no, no, no. you're taking me to school you want to go and then i go i got no your daughter says yes she goes let's go turn off the light it was hysteric when she tells me to turn off the light she says turn off the light

she says turn up the light remember when she slammed the door in my face oh yeah she's hysterical she's funny huh she's funny what's her name mercy so she gives me she walks me to the door daddy daddy let's go come on daddy come on daddy i walk outside i open her door she jumps in and my mother puts a seatbelt on, you know, it's a whole thing in the morning. This morning I walked in with her. I took the fucking lunch thing from her. I took the cup out, put it in the box for her,

and I walked into the refrigerator. She goes, no, Daddy, give it back to me. I want to put it in there. You know, it's a fucking trip. Like, that's it. Like, I'm her assistant. Yeah. You know, there's a time when I could be fucking busy as fuck at the computer.

Have three pages open. about to book a plane ticket. I got this all front of the table. I want to see if I can make the date. I got to call him back by 4.30. This guy keeps calling me. This guy keeps calling me. And I'm ready to fucking put the deal together. I'm ready to go. And she comes in.

And I got earphones on with music, so I can't hear. And she'll come in, dog, tap me. I'll look at her give her a kiss. And she'll push me at the same time. Put her leg over my leg and crawl up and go, Daddy, put on trolls, and that's it. Yeah. I got to close all three files, go to YouTube, and she types it in.

For the last year, I had her type in everything. T-R, what the other one, the other one, the skumbach, the fucking Smurps. Yeah. So everything we type in, I make her type in since for a year now. F, P, Z. Doesn't matter how old shit. She's smart, though, huh? I'll sit there with her for a little while.

And she'll go, Daddy down. Daddy down. That means I have to scroll for... Right. But about a week ago, I got up to go talk on the phone. She figured it out. That's it. Wow.

So now I'll be sitting there with her. She'll try to be sweet, touch my face, tick on my hand, giggle. And then after that video ends, as soon as the switch, she'll look at me and go, Daddy, can you go now? Like, what do you mean? I'm watching this for you.

She goes, Daddy, can you go on that? That means this is it. And she'll get up off me and I'll get up. She'll sit on the chair. I push her in. And I go in the living room and I listen for her to go, Daddy, that means I got to go in there and press the video. But now she figured out how to do that.

So she'll sit in my office for an hour and out, dog. She knows how to click the videos. She knows how to skip through the fucking commercials, Lee. Yeah. Unbelievable. What they learned. And this is what I live with. I live on borrowed time.

When I wake up in the morning, I don't know if she's coming in the room. Right. I hope she does. She's my daughter. But I don't want to be manhandled either. You know what I'm saying? She's just a gorilla.

She'll sit there playing me like a fucking fiddle. Last night I get home, she goes, Daddy, come out sleep. And listen, you know my ears fucked up. And I can't have you hit it with your foot or your fucking head and son tomorrow night. I forgot to be in the bed. Yeah, she does it every Sunday night.

Every other Sunday we let us sleep with us on Sunday night. We have family night. We watch a movie. Then her and the mother eat popcorn. Then they go to bed, and then I come in like an hour later. So last night, she asked, are we doing it tonight? I go, no, it's next Sunday. But what I'll do is if my ear didn't hurt, I would do it this week,

but I'll do tomorrow night. I forgot I even said that to her. She got home in school today. And she got next to me, we watched TV, we watched Wally Kazam coconuts, she rubbed my legs, she rubbed my finger, and then she goes, Daddy, how's your ear? And I go pretty good, and she goes, see, I kissed it. I made it better. That means I can sleep with you guys tonight.

I go, God damn it! I forgot, she set me up this afternoon. So listen, man, you learn from your children, you see yourself, you think of you. yourself at that age. Oh, yeah. You're like, what the fuck was I doing at four and a half? Yeah. I was running around the bar.

She's a little daycare with a bunch of Hindu kids. They're all twins. There's more Hindu twins at that school. There's three sets of Hindu twins. The preschool. And there was four. Two of them went back to India.

And they were adorable. Two girls, they were adorable. These two girls, I was this close. I'm going, Nick, come pick me up. Forget about it. We're going to manage these two Hindu girls. Show up in there on a pilot for Disney, whatever. Yeah. About two Indian girls that live with a black

family in Harlem. Forget about it. We're making billions. A lot of money. We cut that dude in from Atlanta that dresses up like a woman. Yeah. They got abused by his father. What's his name? What's his name? That shoots all his movies and Atlanta guys. Oh, that guy, Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. We tell him this is a black

spectacle. Oh, man. That's a home run. A black family adopts two Hindu twins in the Bronx. Are you kidding me? And after a while, they'd become a band. We put them on Empire. And then it's like cross-pollination. It's like when the Green Hornet went on Batman,

we just set them loose after that. That does sound like a home run. What do you think of dealing with Joey Bananas? What do you got coming out on DVD? Anything. There's nothing like me. I got a couple of... You got shit hidden.

I know you. You shot shit four years ago that's getting finished now. I got a couple of things. I mean, I got this couple of, this movie called The List. I got a couple of horror flicks. I don't even know the name of them.

Then I'm trying to still sell this pilot over the hill, which I don't know. We might find a digital platform for that. Next week I'll be on the Kevin James show. You know, a lot of little things. Things that I'm not really

that excited about right now. I'd be much happy if we could sell this little show I did because there's actually some good shit in it so we'll see maybe one of these companies Hulu or YouTube brand I mean you know they say everybody's looking for content

until you get out there with your show yeah we have something similar well we do yeah we have something similar and the guy on Netflix was like we're talking about the Aziz show I go yeah it's funny I go but what does I got to do with my show it's not I'm nothing like him you know I don't I feel like

I'm the last of the moment. I don't know. I feel like a guy who's like, you know, it's like, you know, you're just trying to find your way. And it's like, I've been doing a lot of little shit, but it's like,

this was kind of fun to do because I felt like I actually did something. Even though it's not perfect, I feel like I actually did some good stuff in it. But you need the proper writers, the proper support to get it to the place where it could be good. It could be good.

My cousin Aida was in it. It was really funny. He needed an HBO show or show, That's what I need. Showtime. That will give you an hour to express yourself. It's comedically trauma.

Yeah. You know, which is your good little last hurrah to go out with five years on HBO. That's what I'm looking for. You go out like Julius of Brown. Like a soldier. Go out like a soldier. You end up at a retard home with a bird on your shoulder. And Tony S comes to visit you.

Exactly. And ask you if you still remember him. Yeah. I mean, look, I've been watching Dice. You know, it's not bad. You ran North Jersey. That's it. That's it.

So what episode of Dice did you watch tonight? The new season? I watched the new season last night where he was like, he had a part in a Martin Scorsese movie that his best friend wrote, milkshake. And this freaking Swedish guy who was screaming was the director. And then Michael Imperioly played like the star of it. He was playing the guy based on Dice.

He was a little over the top. But Dice played like his best friend. And Dice was actually good in it, but he wound up getting fired. He wound up getting fired. And then Mickey R. Rock was in his house. Mickey Rock, who looks... I love Mickey Rock. He just doesn't look really good.

And he was like, Mickey, what are you doing here? What are you doing in my house, Mickey? And Mickey was like, out to fucking, like, kill himself and kill him at the end. Dice talked him out of it. And then I watched a little bit of the first episode of Curb. I mean, Larry David's back. Funny shit, man. Fucking Larry David makes me laugh.

You like Larry David? I forgot he was aiming on. Yeah. He's back, man, with J.B. Smooth. Fucking funny. J.B. Smooth became, he fired his assistant. Then he was like, give me that motherfucking job. J.B. Smooth was funny. And, oh, man, he just cracks me up, Larry.

I like Larry David. One thing, we got to give a shout out to our boy. My brother, Felipe, Spars. Yes. His HBO special. Lee went to the event. And all... Good man.

Thank you guys. We're all from the bottom of my heart for supporting him. He was on the show last week. and we saved them for the end of the month to help them get eyeballs on the special and you guys fucking came through. So thank you very much for that. Thank you for the support on my niece.

She's going home tomorrow. She had the last bone marrow test today. She'll get the result in 24 hours. But again, thank you for all your support, donations and love. It's been a rough two or three months between Florida, Houston, Puerto Rico, I know everybody on fucking social media asking you for a buck.

It's been difficult, so thank you very much, especially going to the holiday season, man. And that's it, my brother. Uncle Nikki Poo, we need that sauce. Yeah, you'll get that sauce. Me and honest to God, there's people who'll shoot you. We're going to get it out. That sauce with the bread. Yeah.

That's all how you sell it. Believe me. Listen, we make the sauce, but the secret is I want people to stop and pay seven, 99 for six slices of bread and a container of that sauce. Forget the spaghetti and meatballs. Eat the carbs. You might die tomorrow. That's the

model of the company. Eat the carbs. You might die tomorrow. Fresh, nice Italian bread sliced a little bit of Montequite. Pretty good sauce for a jar. And you dip it into that fucking cold sauce or warm however you wanted. We give you a cup and that was heaven.

That was fucking delicious if you love food. I know that. Especially if you want to eat at night and keep it light. Six thin slices of bread ain't going to send you to the hospital. Especially if you're going to get up and run in a way. You wake up with a little carbs. The amarinata sauce puts your fucking stomach. Yeah.

Put a little fucking juice in there. Yeah, and that's it. You know exactly how to do. No, I know. I mean, I have my little secret. So what's your secret for the World Series? What's the Rock? The Yankees beat tomorrow, when tomorrow night, the Twinkies.

Yankees beat the Twinkies tomorrow night. Then they play who? And then we play the Cleveland. Indians, we upset them. Oh, shit. In four games. Oh, shit. Then we take the Red Sox.

Oh, you just smack them like Red Sox. Smack them. Smack them in six. What do you think, Lee? Well, why we're two games ahead of the ALEs? Yeah, but I don't know. I haven't watched it. Season's over. Playoffs to start next week.

That's it. Oh, that's bullshit. Oh, bullshit. New season. I know that. I'm not even talking shit. I'm not asking who was about. A better team?

Well, the Yankees are definitely a better team than the Red So. I think they're a better team than the Red So, even though the Red Sox beat him by two games. Yankees beat him head to head, 11 to 8. Okay. So. But, you know, that doesn't mean shit now because now it's a new year postseason. So it don't matter what you did. Now you're in the dance. Can you win it?

Who has better pitching? The Yankees have a deeper bullpen. They have a great closer on Greg Kimball. Better starters, though? Well, you got Chris Sell. You got one stud, but he's never won in the postseason. Right. It's close.

And Price is in the bullpen now, but he's doing pretty good? Yeah, he's throwing bullets out of the bullpen, even though he's never done anything in the postseason, but he could be a good weapon out of the bullpen. I actually think that's a good move for them. That seems to be working out. I got to be optimistic. You know, they call, where the baby bombers, young guns.

I'm not saying we're going to go all the way, but I think we're going to make some noise. You always have to root for a Red Sox Yankees series. I always root for that. There's nothing like Yankee. The Yankee Red Sox brings us. out the hatred in me you know it's like the cousin that you hate

it's the cousin you fucking despise but you know you respect them there's something about the Yankees in the Red Sock when you get them together It's magical and Fenway is awesome Not like that new Yankee Stadium I mean you'll see tomorrow night there'll be these rich seats And then half of them are fucking empty You know they should put seat fillers in there and pack them in

People got to stay in their seats A Yankee Stadium Yeah these fucking seats that are always empty Now, what happened yesterday, the Dodger, what happened at one of the stadium football yesterday? It was so empty, they had to put tarp on the fucking stadium or some shit. Is that the charges or something? The charges is one of those. This is a moronic.

They can't even support the Rams. Why would you move another team, you know, down here, the charges who really belong in San Diego? Keep them in San Diego. Don't move them here. You got the Rams back who were eventually from here. Can they move back now, though? Could they? They lost face.

Yeah, well. Unless somebody builds a stadium, you know, I don't know, these guys that want a new stadium and then, you know, but they got a good fan base. San Diego's a little sports town. L.A. is not really a sports town. They have sports fans here, but they're not, it's not really a sports town.

I sit here and I listen to you, and I can't tell you how much the baseball world needs a baseball podcast with that voice and that passion, especially for the Yankees. I think you could do the whole thing I think your whole spectrum is the Yankees and fighting for the Yankees Yeah, that's with my whole

Having people call you and argue with you And you light them on fire And head the bottom from time to time I get them I think that's your show right there Maybe that's maybe Listen, I'm glad to always be here You fucking show up with a pizza like a gentleman

That's it Most people show up empty-handed I don't like to come empty-handed You know I always tell the It's a good show I always tell Lee he should do things certain ways, the East Coast way, you know. There's been a couple situations lately where you hate to say it, somebody's in the jam, somebody's kids getting married, and you as an adult and a human being go,

you know what, Nick's always been good to me, his daughter's getting married. Let me do the right thing, and you, you're a wedding present, and then you put money in the envelope because you're busy to work in that, weekend it was in Vegas working, you know. And then I sat there and I go, Jesus Christ, they never sent the saying thank you note. And they got married in June. It's fucking October.

And you're like, I'll shame on them. I mean, you know, what are you going to do? There was somebody else that my wife did something. She never got a thank you, God. No man is. Somebody that, again, no thank you card. I get home Sunday. And there's a card on my desk.

And I look at it. and it's on my buddy the daughter's my daughter's godfather and I opened it and I said thank you God for the flowers when his dad died

September fucking 8th or something and I'm like you see what I'm saying people think I'm wrong about shit there's still people who think like me they didn't wait a month

like this is ridiculous because I came home that cash was in that envelope on my dinner mantle for two months and we looked to each other like when are we going to spend this cash? Obviously she's not going to come together.

When I went over and I gave the envelope to the dad I still haven't heard a fucking thank you. It's amazing how people take shit for granted. Oh I know. You know what? That means it just means a lot

when someone is there or does something and you just say hey I appreciate that. No no no. You know this generation they're not they barely ever say you know let me get some kids you know

I've been around a lot of kids the last few years and you know you see the ones that have manners I've treated them here there I'm like I treat them like they're my extended family but the ones that really appreciate you know and then there's takers the ones that they come in they trash the joint they leave like animals

they don't pick up after and I'm like you know you just you get tired even even some family members I don't want to name names but you know you just go there's fucking govones you know it's like you know just have some manners nobody has manners

nah no more they come they eat they walk out like animals you know the people that took me in when my mother died I knew them for like five years I was going to the house every Wednesdays and eating pasta but the main thing

how I got tight with them was because they got a pool and when you got a built in pool in 1970 you were the hot commodity neighborhood So everybody came, everybody came to your house, jumped in the pool. People who got, even though you had a party and they went on the list,

they were still getting in a jump in your pool. And after they pissed in your pool and shit, scratched their balls, they left the pool as is. They left the mask out. Yeah. The thing they were blowing out up, the things out. And I had a pool for a while. I had an above-ground pool.

Oh, above-ground. Yeah, one of those were big. They were funny. They were funny. Until somebody punctured the fucking neck. and then the pool drains. That happened every year. That's how the summer ends.

Somebody jumps in there with a knife in their pocket. And next thing you're fucking longer than the next day and you've got two feet of water. It's green. It turns green immediately. Yeah. It's fucking quick. That thing ain't running.

You see all the piss. Right. Then you get a chance to glue the side and fill it up with fresh water and it's still cold for three fucking days. Oh my God, my memories are cleaning that pool. Every morning you have to get up and take the lead.

off the top. And then you had to put the vacuum on the bottom of the pool and take the algae off the pool where they would develop like this. Then you had to test the water. Those are the above ground. Those were the above ground.

And then the other, I would go to the benders and test that pool. Like, it was crazy. If you had an inground, you thought the people were rich, you know? Yeah, when you had an in-ground pool, and May you were a movie star. A movie star.

Fucking Sinatra was coming over to hang out. I know. I had my first fucking house I bought in Tarzanum and The reason I bought it, the pool looked like a pond and had a grotto. And I was like, wow, I couldn't believe I had this. I was like, look at this fuck. I never went in it much, but the grotto had all kinds of ideas for the grotto. But I didn't really take advantage of it completely.

But, hey, you just couldn't believe. I'm like, who would have a pool like that growing up unless you had money? Maybe one family in the neighbor had that. I don't know. They owned a McDonald's franchise or some shit. Are you getting residuals for real? From Reels, they play your shit, don't they? Yeah, I get a lot of...

You know, I've done great with... Actually, Blue Bloods on syndication. I mean, I wish I would have did more episodes, but, man, I never saw a syndication like that. I mean, even NYPD Blue, I don't think... They must have sold this show. It's a very popular show. It's unbelievable.

It's still doing really, really well, syndication-wise. You know, yeah, you get... You know, it keeps you alive. Keeps you live. I mean, that's why, man, the more episodes, the better it would have been. Every Sunday at 601, I go to sag after.com. And I look at what residual checks are coming in.

I don't, I just, I just. And then I look at in processing. That's how Jewish I am. Really? I look at what's on the list. I think you told me that, and I did that once or twice. I do it. I don't do it no more.

I just, you got to see what's coming in. No, they keep coming in. You got to check it out. You got to see what's coming in because you might miss one or two. And God forbid you call. You have to go. If you go to Sag after, there's a list. Really?

You go to and you type your name And within 72 hours You get an email Wow They'll go Nick the Turro Come down to office box six And print up the label we give you Oh my God

Let me tell you what happens And this is shocking You've been in the business for 30 fucking years You're going to go down there And they're going to hand you A stack of checks That your jaw is going to drop And you're going to go

What do you mean money You never claimed? Money that Where is this? This is SAG. You go to Woosher? Sag after it. I've never done this.

Yes, you have to go down there. I did this 10 years ago. My wife is going to count it. Okay. So she goes one day, let's take it right down there. I got the thing and I got your thing. We went down there. And you asked what?

They came back. Go online and start it. Checks, missing checks, or something it's called. See if you have a check at after SAG. You press your name or you look for the names. It don't have your name on the list. Oh, I know I have money out there.

And what you do is you go down there, you give them whatever they send you, Nick. They're going to come back with a stack of check. And they're going to tell you excuses, whether they didn't mail that check, that your heart's going to stop. You're going to get addresses that you've never even seen. Wow. From how did this happen? So it's unclaimed money.

Unclaimed money. Yeah, but do you have to do any research before you go to them? You have to go online. There's something on sagafter.org. and you go to SAG after.org That's where you check the residuals and stuff on Sundays now. It's not whatever it used to be.

So said after.org. And just keep looking for payments. And then there somewhere will say lost checks, unclaimed checks, do what it tells you to do, what the process is now. And I think there was a bunch of ship. I never pursued it.

I went down there one time with my wife and they threw me a stack and a envelope. And the reasons, the address is. they had sent stuff to did not make sense. They were sending to addresses where...

I mean, one time I had something where they had me and my son confused, not even in... Yes. No, this is what they do. I had four or five thousand. I had a bunch of places. Yes, no.

And I got to the bottom of that, and I got that money. Yeah, you get that money. I got that money. It's down there waiting for you. It's down there waiting for you. It's so fucking weird and you cannot believe you look...

First off, you look at after and go, can I ask you a question why did you guys get my address and put this in the fucking mail and they'll go well How do you find that unclaimed stuff

You go on the line You go on the line And I went down there Me and my wife looked at them And said Since you had all these Why didn't you send this To the address?

Yeah And they said well since we got these We really didn't know What your address was Like let me answer your question How did you know To send a bill to that address Yeah

And they were stuttered Well, maybe the address will be... I definitely know I have something out there. I don't know how much. And the fuck-ups are just unadmissible. So you're saying it could be... Oh, you're going to see... You know how I know for a fact?

Because there's 10 Totoa, whatever your last name is, Totoro. There's 10 of them. They're going to have checks for you that belong to your brother and Ida. And they're going to have checks for them that they'll have your name on. Really? Because somewhere along the line, some assistant spilled coffee on the paperwork and the sack paperwork. Your address weren't blind.

She had one glasses. She wasn't paying attention. She typed in tutorial. Nicholas, George, Henry. When did you do this? I did this about 10 years ago when I first met my wife and we were flat broke, maybe even 12 years ago. You got a stack of checks? My wife also did one for the state.

And I picked up a stack of checks. We tried doing one for Jersey because I told to listen, I had 20,000 jobs. God knows. Yeah, I know. God knows what's out there. Give it a shot. If you're broken home right now and you're from Kentucky, go to Kentucky's website and look to see for unclaimed checks in the state.

That means that one time you hurt yourself and you claimed disability and they told you they were only giving you 12 weeks. What the doctor told you was you were getting paid for 18, and those six checks were waiting for you, and they probably gave you $800 a check. You don't fucking know. Right. You claim it, and your jaw drops.

Yeah. And with you guys, there's Taturo's. You moved two or three times. Yeah, I did. You had the house in Jersey. That's not, that's bad, because that's their excuse. Well, we sent the house. Yeah, because I used to get checks there, too.

Yeah, so they're going to go. I used to get checks in Tarzana. We sent checks to New Jersey, and they all came back. Yeah. So why don't you send it to my new address? Well, we didn't know where you looked. Well, you know what they're fucking sending? I mean, it's fucking crazy.

Wow. So that's what will shock you. That you have checks down there that are significant. There's some checks that maybe they show the TV show. And again, sent it to the Tarzana address. And it's top of the fucking game residual. That's like what, you know, there's a bunch of shit. Like that?

They make mistakes like that. And then, you look at these people, you go, did they make things? these mistakes to not for you not to cast these checks or they just made the mistakes where I lived just now before I moved into this place I was getting checks every

three months for some dude from BET for $2,000 bucks I thought about sounding his name on the deposit and I go why do this this is actual theft so on that

the kind of something I would actually call BET and I said accounting and I gave the name and the address go, yeah, we have it. I go, listen, I got three checks from me here for two grand, which is six grand. You don't live here no more.

And they go, what's the address? I told them, they go, all right, we want to send checks to them. Two weeks later, I got another check. A month later, I got another check. They don't give a fuck, though. Sometimes they're on the other computer that don't fucking enter.

Who knows, brother? Who knows? You probably didn't have another address to to replace it. I know for a fact, especially if you've been in the union for 30 fucking years. Yeah.

Which you have been. I'm coming up about 30 now. 30 fucking year. Yeah, I'm doing 20, so we're getting fucking old, my brother. I'm happy you took the time. You're a fucking gentleman. Thank you.

And a scholar. I love you. My pleasure. Let me talk to your people about something. Listen, the holidays are coming. You don't want to mess around. You want to look sharp.

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Bam! And you get 10% off delivered right to your door, okay? Who's better than you guys? I want to thank the 54 club.com. and I also want to thank Honan.com. I want to thank my man, Nick the Tour,

and I want to thank you people for being fucking savages. Have a great night, stay black. I have a great day, stay black, and my heart goes out to the victims in Las Vegas, also Puerto Rico. I'm not forgetting about you. Stay black, have a great day.

A little something for my main man. What's his name? I forget I'm so high. Tom Petty. What is it? Tom Petty. Tom Petty. I love you guys.

Have a great. week.