The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #526 - Felicia Michaels

Episode Date: October 19, 2017

Felicia Michaels, Comedian and director of the film, "Pervs" featuring past guests Susanna Lee, Felipe Esparza, and Sam Tripoli, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. "Pervs" will be a part of the LA Femme Film Festival on October 20th. LAfemme.org This podcast is brought to you by:   MyBookie.ag - Join now and MYBookie.ag will match your deposit with up to a 100% bonus of your first deposit up to $1,000. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 10/18/2017.
  

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Church? Boom! And get 10% off your first order delivered to your house. Kick this fucking Mulee. Oh shit. Wednesday, the 18. the day the devil was buried at sea Is it?

Oh shit Here you go, cock suckers Felicia Michaels The Christ Killer And your uncle Joey Here we go Kick that mulee I want fucking smoke

Coming out of the speakers The full effect of a smoke mushroom Is coming to you Oh shit I've never been a love before Do you think how my nasty girl To make My own little nasty world

Think I'm a nasty girl Oh shit I think they got more water upstairs And they got sugar on the candy cane That's good Oh, What up you filthy animals Uncle Joey here

Churchill what's happened now Thank you for joining us We got Felicia Michaels in house Hello What's up you sexy savage Oh everything Joey Just being a mom Just being a fucking mom

Right jokes Now you got this little fucking movie and a festival. Congratulations. Thank you. I have a documentary in a festival. The documentary is called Purves and it's at the La Femm International Film Festival here in Los Angeles this Friday at the Regal Theater at 6 o'clock. So if you ain't doing dick, come on down, cock suckers. It's in a real movie theater?

Yeah, it's a real movie theater. That has to be like the dream of every, anyone who's ever filmed anything. It's like a real legit movie theater. You get to have popcorn. and it's like, it's like, it's cool, too, like if you're in a class

or even if you have like a small screening, but to be in like a movie theater we're like, I watch Star Wars in here. This is for you. I was in a festival once and it was like someone's fancy garage and you're like, really?

Yeah, no, they suck. This is a big one. This is a good one. Yeah, it's nice. There's a couple good ones in town that you go to, you buy a pass and you catch like fucking eight movies

for a whole weekend. For sure. You get to see stuff you don't normally get to see. Sometimes that's a good thing sometimes. It's a you like it you know That's what those things are for

So you get to see different fucking people You go down there spend the day I'm sure it's a women's festival It is a woman's festival For women directors and producers And so Susanna Lee Who is in the movie Who was on the podcast

A very funny chick She's kind of the star of the movie And She also helped me produce it So I was like I should totally submit To this festival and we got in I was shocked Because the movie's pretty dirty

So I was pretty surprised that it got in It's not that it's dirty It shows a part It shows, listen you see strip clubs mainstream You watch movies, right? You watch movies all the time Somebody they're always going on a strip club There's always a hooker involved

There's always a chick. We were watching payback the other day With Lucy Lou Oh, gosh When she whips Fucking great All that shit is great But you never see the crack of porn

And the crack of porn Is the dollar thing put four quarters in the fucking boot and the window goes up and people fucking funny It was only a dollar When I was a child When I was 11, 10

You know You played hooky And you went down the 42nd street And you if you were an asshole Like you went into the They had these stores that sold IDs And then they also sold maps To the best porno places in Manhattan

Like in 1970 you go to That was the epicor center of sex Like It was that in Las Vegas. 42nd Street in New York, which where you walk down now and you see all these fucking Disney things, that was the epicor of sex. When you got off that bus, I poured authority

right across the street from that, where the laugh factory went in years ago. Right. On the corner. Before that, that was Sporn World or Sex World. Isn't that Times Square? Yeah, that's Times Square. And when you walked down that thing,

I used to get off that fucking bus, you know, and coming from Jersey. And I'd get off that thing, And I'd stop there. And you know me, I got a hot dog. I eat in the morning. I don't give a fuck. I see an Arab with those fucking tails they sell.

Those cat tails they sell on the stick. And they put a little piece of bread on there. You put some Franks hot sauce. You kill all the germs. You're good to go for $2. I would stand and eat those and watch. Who would go in there for this shit? And who would come out of there.

And that's where I was wrong. It wasn't the crack of porn. It was executives. It was attorneys. They're going there, get there, fucking. You can't get your dick sucked in there. It's a pool place. It's a pool place.

It's one-man's show. Unless some little gay guys in there and you get to talk about to sucking your dick for $3 with an ice cream. That's it. I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you the truth. How old were you the first time you actually get into a place like that? Really?

And they just would let you in or you have to sneak in? Listen, it was 19-something-something. Yeah. What they didn't see, they didn't know and they didn't want to know. So you walked in. and there was a guy with those tokens. He'd have a belt on, like a construction belt,

would make the change for those tokens. So if you're 13 and you go in there with a dollar building, I'll take to get the fuck out of it. But if you're 13, you walk in there with a 20. Yeah. Money talks and bullshit. Right, right. So I would get least five, my five,

your son's five, and the other five, and we'd go over there. Uh-huh. And that's how you, give me the five. Come up, give me a 20, because when I walk in, He's going to give me change. You guys are going to be walking behind me. They wouldn't proof you.

So as long as the guy was busy, what I just tell you, what he didn't see, he didn't want to see. So if you were getting stabbed in the corner in those days, he wouldn't look up. He would keep making your change. Right. It was one of those dirt. That was the place right there on 8th Avenue. I'm telling you that that was it. So when you went in, did you go by yourself or with your friends the first time?

The first time we went, four of us played hooky. Uh-huh. You know, you're in the eighth grade. you got that shitty weed from high times you know high time sells imitation weed in the back in the 70s they did yeah they did so you would send the 395 and then you got back to sweet it didn't get you and your buddies plant this play hooky and smoke this weed when you went to smoke you got

fucking beefily you shit fuck now what are we gonna do we have plans let's go into the city so you took a bus into Manhattan you know here you're in the seventh grade how old are you in the seventh grade 12 yeah 12 or 13 and we'd uh Walk right to Port Authority, and it was like your sensory overload of your ears. Once you hit Broadway, okay, so you got off the bus on 8th Avenue, and you went to the corner, we'd be giggling, four or five or six kids. Then you crossed the street to 42nd Street, and you walked up. Once you came around that turn on the Broadway, there was 50 yards there.

Where you heard, it was mind-boggling. I wish, you know, I had the audio from those days. But this is exactly what you were. would hear you ready marijuana acid THC heroin perico perico perico perico marijuana cocainea oh yeah I Tenoina in Spanish and English you would hear this for five minutes while you were walking I never forget walking through the city with my mother like to go see a Disney movie like the love bug and those five minutes were treacherous and the cops wouldn't do nothing to you New York City was an

adventure for a child and once you hit Broadway it was a complete different city So once you went through 50 yards of monauana heroin cocaine, I got pills dog, I got pills dog. Now you stepped into three-card Monty land. So it was two or three blocks of three-card Monty are actors. And they wouldn't stop when kids were nearby? That was part of it. They wanted to cut them. Kids!

Yeah, kids! You think we were pussies the way we are? They didn't give a fuck. You know, 30 years ago, you would smoke with your kid in the car. Oh, yeah. 40 years ago. Yeah. 40, 60 years ago, you would smoke while you were pregnant, you know, and give your kid paint chips and they were fine.

Are you kidding? When my mom was pregnant with my brother, she was overweight, they prescribed speed. So she would lose weight while she was pregnant. And then he was like a hyperactive kid, I know. Yeah, so it would be, New York City would be wild. But to get back to Felicia's question, you would tear their back. I would give everybody there $5 in tokens because they'd, gave you special tokens, but they were worth like a quarter apiece.

And basically you got like, I don't know, I'm just going to throw a number at you. Maybe you got 30 seconds per token. Oh, really? Yeah, so here you are with $5 million with tokens. Did that do all four of you? No, no, no. We go into different boots, and then you lock the door, and you'd walk in, and your feet would sink into a half inch of sperm that they just couldn't wipe up. Oh, come on, Joey.

So many people jerk off in there at such a high rate. that the sperm were colligulating. And you would walk in there. It'd be like, you ever walk in the snow after it's four days old and frozen? Like there's different points. I'm not kidding. No, he's serious.

I'm not kidding. And before you went in there, remember Lee, before you went in there, this is how disgusting. You know, none of this sounds fun. No, no, no, no, but it is fun. It is fun when you're 12, okay? When you're 12 and you see a guy come out of a room and a little immigrant,

walking with a fucking mop. Oh, yeah. hot water and wipe up the cum, and then he puts it back in the thing. And he goes, go right ahead. You know, like, you're like, oh, my God. Would you tip him like a token or something? No, go away. You're wiping cum up for a fucking limit.

You're not even invited to the conversation. What do you do for a limit? I'm a janitor at a cum house. That was this guy's. He got eight bucks an hour, insurance, you know. Insurance. It was, you know, hot water, and it was steaming leave. So the hot water would go in.

He'd just plop it on the cum, go like this, and then put it in the thing and squeeze it. And then you go in there, you put your token in there, and the fucking scream would pop up. Okay, so they would probably be if it was 8 in the morning, if it was 10 in the morning. Oh, my God. If it was 10 in the morning.

And there's already like a collagulation of cum on the phone? It's open 24 hours. And we never close. We're like fucking the Vatican. We don't close down. We're like the comedy store. Someone probably drowned in there once. But yeah, no, no, no, Lee.

And if you went in there at six, it was chicks that were hooking that fucked all night long and now went in there for the last $20. And they would be, oh, hi, and shit. And some guy would be putting a dick in the mouth, and she would be on a circular bed that wasn't even made. It was like a circular bed that was... This was in the peep show? In the peep show.

So you either went to... The peep shows were either singular or plural. The plural ones were a circle. So you could see Lee. Oh, no. I can look at Lee and see Lee looking at your pussy. He's vibrating as he jerked off and shit. And then on the way, walking home, Lee, I saw you jerking off.

And I didn't jerk off. I swear to God, smell my hand. You know, we'd have the creepiest conversations at 12-year-old. Right. Let me say how stupid you are at 12. Smell my hand. Yeah. I didn't jerk off.

Smell my hand. You know, it was fucking crazy. Oh, my God. But then they had the glass. They had first. Let me be clear on this. They had the shield that went up. And there was a bulletproof glass.

Oh, thank God. Okay. But then there was, if you went into 42nd Street, and you went in those, those are the ones where everything popped up, and you could stick your head. And she could come over and let you suck a tit, finger her. You know, you could finger her while you jerked off, but you had to, like, put your arm in this little glass. Uh-huh. Okay. And she would have to get, like, on a milk cart.

Like a, like at the bank. Yeah. And you would be fingering and jerking off. Oh, my God. You could suck a titty's. You can lick her asshole Like she would have to bend over on the milk cart And she had just got

She had just gotten in From a now I never went to that one Where the head popped up Oh my God I never went in with a glass popped in Right But so we went the first time

We went back to Jersey Talked about it Jesus Christ Bro they fuck right in front of you Come on you're lying You're full of shit No man They fuck in front here And then they have a bed

That's made of wood and it spins Uh huh Did I tell you that? go around while the guy was fucking her so would you have to move his feet like no no no oh he was actually on the platform with her and she'd be on heroin and he'd just be fucking her she would know where she'd be and then while he was fucking her there'd be three chicks going around like if a bunch of chicks came then it was like a suckathon suck my tit for a quarter you know you could suck a chick's tit for a quarter wow wow but then I went back we started going

back back and I went with a kid who today is a cop in San Diego and this fucking knucklehead stuck his head in and didn't put enough quarters in. Oh no. So the thing closed and they had to call an ambulance. We all left them there. We didn't know nothing. We don't know nothing. I still remember them dragging them out.

Where are you guys? We don't know. We just ran. God, how would you like that hanging on you for the rest of high school? So that was the bottom level. Yeah. When you made the turn up, Felicia, I'm looking at the eye and I'm. I'm telling you this because you have boys.

And I just want to let you know how happy you didn't raise your boys in New York at this time. So now, as you walked up, as you got close to Carolines. I didn't know it was Carolines. I'm not going to sit. I don't know nothing about comedy. Right. I don't know. But as you got up in those streets, all those bars where those bars, where I come in,

there'd be a black guy outside or a hot chick. And she'd go, come on in. Felicia, do you know how many times they drug us in? when we were seventh and the eighth grade. Really? Yeah. And you'd go right up to the bar. Uh-huh.

You guys holding up to the grill? Hell yeah. We owed them up to the drink. And strippers come right up to you and sit next to you and you could feel their leg. We would be like fucking 12. And these women were 40. They had been blowing guys for years. They were at the tail end of the hooking career.

You can feel their leg. And then they go, we could have a date, but you have to buy me a bottle of champagne. And it was a little little bottle. Okay. And here you were in the seventh grade. They come back with a $41 tab. And you're like, give me that. You ain't drinking that $40.

I ain't got $40 and then they would throw you out. Right. We did that at all those places. Yeah. Where they would call us in. Think about that. That's how raw New York City was in the 70s. I can imagine that, Joey, because when I, I'm an Army brat, so I grew up in Berlin.

My mother was from Berlin. My father was in the service. And when they got divorced, we lived on the street called Potsdamistrasse, which was like one of the main streets in Berlin. and in the 70s it was at the same time as what you're talking about. There were prostitutes and hookers all over the place, and it was like just out in the open. And one time I was walking home from school or something, and this prostitute ran to catch the bus.

But, you know, you could tell she's a prostitute, and her necklace fell off, and I picked it up, and I gave it to my mom for Mother's Day. And I still have that fucking necklace from some hooker. How crazy. In Berlin, but it was very raw back then. Raw. They didn't.

How old were? Yeah. Yeah. You know, in those days, a lot of kids I hung out with their dads would take them into the city to get laid for the first time just to get it out of the way. That's kind of weird. That was very big back then. Wait.

Nobody ever did it with me. At what age? 14. Oh, no. Yeah. Just to get it out of the way. That's because really. A lot of kids I grew up with, would tell me I love it.

What about the poor prostitute? $50 is $50. Uh-huh. maybe they she didn't do it a lot maybe they didn't do it a lot because they got maybe they had the real young ones do it like I can't imagine like a 30 year old I'm sure they drug out the oldest one

those days when I was growing especially when I was growing in Manhattan Spanish families a lot of the Spanish when their dads would take them right down they get late to get it out of the way so that's it we don't have this problem going on you want to fuck your brother

you know what I'm saying well it's so you know sexuality is so weird, right? Like, I see when you're a mom and you have kids and you see like one child is more sexual in nature than another child,

who's to say, like, what is deviant behavior in sex and what is not deviant behavior in sex? And to bring it back to the movie, when Susanna Lee, who's a comedian and sex worker on the side, she was working at the

Venus Fair show there, a It's the last working peep show in the Los Angeles County area because a lot of that stuff is going away, you know. And she's like, oh, I want to do this. I have this idea for a web series. I want to interview comedians and we want to talk about deviants and sexuality and all that. Do you want to be a part of that? And I was like, yeah, I want to be a part of it.

I think that's really just out of the park. And as a lot of people kind of know, I was a stripper when I was 18. So for me, it was like, fuck, yeah, I want to go see the inside of one of those. I want to go. And then she had a girl that was filming it, but the girl didn't know what she was doing. And then before I went for my interview, she said, oh, no, we can't do it because it's fucked up. All the footage. They had Margaret Cho and everything got screwed up. And I said, if I bring, you know, fund it, will you let me direct it? And so that's how I got into doing perves. And so we made this web series starting to make it. and we have a Paul Prevenza,

you came and did it, Felipe Asparza came and did, a lot of women, Lori Kilmartin came and did it, all these people came and did it. And it was such an interesting thing, because you would, like Jimmy Schuber did it, you would think there were people

that could come into the booth and be interviewed by a comedian about comedy and deviance, and she gives them a peep show at the same time. You would think how boisterous some of the guys are that they'd be able to deal with it. It was really cool to see

who can really deal with it and who can't and who is a secret perv and who isn't, you know what I mean? And it's so way different than what you expect. Like you're talking about your friend that is now a policeman in San Diego. Like you guys went through this really creepy deviant teenage period and how for some people, it's not their lifestyle, even though they experiment with it. And I can't even imagine being 13 and 14. and my first time at sexuality is at a place like that. I can't even imagine what do you take away from that?

How fucked up it must make you in a sense, right? But all of that to me is so fascinating. And not even that you just saw sex, because that would have blown my mind. But, like, porn stars, for the most part, are very, like, good-looking. You saw, like, people who were drugged up. Like, what did the guy look like?

The guy couldn't have been a model. Yeah, well, he must have been on drugs, too, right? It was just, you know, Then I ordered porn, like a little, you know, when I lived in Jersey, those kids were active, active in every single way, that whole neighborhood. And it was always like we were always up to something. And that was one of the things we were up to. We went after porn. Again, when we were younger, Felicia and I, you could go into the back of the penthouse and get three, what, super rate.

Oh, right, right. Superate, it was called Real to Real. three porno movies for $20 and they sent you a little fucking makeshift projector that was a piece of shit so that was another thing we did we ordered that one time and we took it up to my attic and we watched them

and it was I wish that porn was still around to show people what porn from the late 60s and 70s look like was not gentle it was just horrific it was that stuff was horrific it was just

mortifying the more I think about it today I'm like yeah I even wrote a bit about it that gave it a little justice I liked a bit because I would say Jesus I gave that such a funny take but it wasn't funny it was so unfunny that one of the younger kids in the room started crying oh like that's how unfunny it was like the guy's dick was big she put fucking jelly on it and put two pieces of white bread on his dick her tits had been sucked out Felicia they looked like men's tits, like, look like my chest. She must have been 23,

you know, she wasn't missing teeth, but she had an overbite. You could hear the director given her instructions, like, suck the dick. And she would go, no. Really? Like, no. Like, no. Like, she would have, like, it was crazy. Yeah.

And then he would put the dick on her face, and then she would grab it, and the guy's dick was gigantic. Like, that's when they made super dicks. Like, 16 inches, like this thing was this big. Oh, my God. And that's what they settled on. Her putting jelly and peanut butter and jelly, getting a piece of, like, she put two pieces

of bread out and there was still six inches hanging out of his dick. That's how big this guy's dick. We all sat there like, tell it all. And that was that. Do you think when you guys were doing it at that edge, obviously you have a tremendous curiosity, right? Curiosity. It was curiosity.

But do you think that it got to the point where you guys were ordering films and doing all that just because it's one-upping each other and just in a group trying to. We do it together as partners. All those little scams. But just egging each other on? Like, and then we got as we, like, once we got the freshman year, that's the same crew was together. And now we'd add, now we'd raise the stakes on that trip.

We'd snort angel dust. Jeez. And then watch porn? No, go into the city. Oh, okay. Gotcha. No, then go get some porn. He has six,

14-year-old, maybe one 15-year-old on Angel Dust, which is just a blur. So then I would go, listen, you want to me even raise the stinks more? Oh, no. All right, here's we're going to do. You, Lee, and Felicia.

I'll see you guys later. What do you mean? Me, Carlos, and Jimmy are going to go this way. We'll meet you at 4 o'clock at Portadouria on 181st Street. It's 48th Street. We're going to meet you in three hours. hours.

Nah, it's 11. We're going to meet you in five hours. We take the A train. Kids, you know how many things going to happen to you? Do you have any fucking idea, Felicia? A train's getting on the A train to the Bronx with junkies, nodding.

You're on the train with three of us like giggling and shit. But I'd been going to the city since the fifth grade. Fourth grade. That was what I did on the weekends. My mom had no fucking idea. What would you do up there? In the city?

In the Bronx. walk around and slice of pizza like you have no fucking idea what can happen to you up there in those days did you just say you snorted angel dust first yeah we'd snort angel dust first we got into angel dust the end of freshman year you're talking like it's normal but then it was huge it was ten dollars for a bag and three people could get high i mean fucked up what kind of what kind of high was that like gumbie meaning 10 volumes it's like eating bunch of volumes and also you're life is flashing like the whole day is just flashing like you're just flashing you're fucking high you know you're gumby that's what we call it gumby dust you were just gumbie yeah

and we'd walk those streets in new york get involved in three card montes take an a train get off by see the sign i have an 165th street we'd walk around there we'd see if we get weed you know many fucking things could happen to you when you're 13 you're trying to get fucking weed in the city and we get it and then we'd go go up to the platform, they would show up. We go to OTB, off-track betting, go in there. You know, how many things that happen to you in there? That's pedophileville.

Right. Off-track betting is pedophileville. What's in that time period? What's the worst trouble you guys ever got into? And not trouble like where you got caught, but the worst situation where you had fear of, like, this is going to be. At those strip clubs. When the women would lure you in and you go in there and sit next to them at the bar, and then they come in a bottle of champagne, those bottles are 20,

something bucks man and the fucking bounces will go what the fuck you guys don't have no money empty your fucking pockets so we'd go in there with some money already in our socks like we were just fucking you know crazy at that age you know we but I still remember like just we've talked about those peep shows before that was why when you did the film I was very interested I go wow and that was an older style that one had a thick bulletproof glass Yeah, it had a glass. You had the machine. You have the phone.

When's the last time we've seen the machine where you stick the money in? The money in. And the great thing about that movie, like we had Rick Shapiro. And when we started assembling it for the web series, there were some people, like there was a guy, Ed Galvez, he giggled through the whole thing. Like, to me, he was like Lee. He just giggled through, like, you couldn't even talk to him because he just couldn't stop giggling. It was like, here is a grown-ass man. And he would just giggled.

Jimmy Schubert was just, you know, as orange as a carry. You look like Donald Trump. That's how embarrassed he would get. But it turned out that there were some people because people were pretty funny about their stories and talking about deviance. And then Rick Shapiro. Do you know Rick Shapiro? Yes. Yes.

So Rick Shapiro did the interview. And his interview was so real. and he talked about how he, because he was kind of a deviant living in New York as a young kid, and he had a lot of stuff happening to him. And he talked about during that time period, about being kind of, his father was physically abusive against him and how it turned him into a deviant. And when I talked to Susanna after that, and when we looked at the footage, it's like, God, I really can't use this in like a comedy web series because it's hard.

It's kind of heartbreaking to even watch. And then Susanna was like, you know, when we did that, that moment had the most effect on me because it made me understand. Because when we got everyone to do it, right? Because I as a former stripper from when I was younger, you know, here I am filming someone who's a comedian who's going to show everything to all comedians that she respects and how. this conversation with them and as a woman I have to be very generous to what she's comfortable with and what she's not comfortable with and the amount of trust that she had to have six seven cameras on her while she's completely naked in this mirrored you were there it's like a completely mirrored semicircle and with

glass and everything so nothing gets hidden and to go through that experience and and to see someone really be profoundly affected by Rick Shapiro's story and understanding why she's deviant. And, you know, I can't just throw any slob in front of her. She's doing a very personal thing. She didn't want to interview Rick Shapiro at first because Rick was kind of known as a crazy guy and could go off. And she got really nervous about it.

And I was like, no, this guy's from the street. We've got to get people that are from the street that understand what you're doing and want to appreciate it. And when he came, he was so generous to her in spirit and about sharing a real story where other people didn't want to be. You know, sometimes you get people right on your podcast and they're like all joky-joki all the time. And you're like, you want to have a real fucking conversation every once in a while, right? So that's kind of what it was where he was having the real conversation. And it totally shifted the project.

And then when we were looking at it, I was like, we can't use this in the web series. But maybe we should put this in as a documentary film. about you revealing yourselves as your real person and what you do and your struggle in comedy and how everyone perceives you and how everyone's deviant, how everyone's deviant in a different way. You know what I mean? How everyone's little twist is different. Your twist is way different than Lee's twist, right? You know, but to explore that and to have women sit through it and have a discussion about it too,

as well as men, as well as, you know, someone who's gay or whatever the situation is. And it turned out into a really cool project. So it's very curious when people start talking about their first experiences with sex, like my ears open up wide. Because then having boys and hearing you talk about these stories, when my boy started looking at porn on the computer, and the therapist is like, you've got to really supervise that and try to shut it down as much as possible,

because it really affects you. Do you think going through this period of your life affected your sexuality? Let me tell you something. With me, it even, you know, I grew up in a man's bar. My mother had a man's bar. So the comments. You know, when I was 10, they were already shooting comments after. You know, a little, are you still pissing sweet?

What are you doing? You know, how's how Cubans asked you are you coming yet? You know, like they would say, you got a girlfriend? Yeah, what's going on? So it lifted my curiosity. That's when it lifted my curiosity. When I was a kid and those people that asked me creepy fucking questions.

You know what I'm saying? It was just, I was always an innocent before that. I knew about it. I knew about, you know, I knew about getting your dick sucked in the first grade because the kids in New York would talk about it. You know, that was the time, that was the era,

where kids are going and I kissed some girls' titties for a quarter one time in the playground. She put one of those 45s, you know, like, we were in the park. And she's like, for a quarter, I'll let you kiss it. And I was like, Jesus Christ, for a quarter. I'm going to go and going home, scratching my head the rest of the day.

Why, I give a quarter for that? Nothing happened. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, what are you things going to happen? You know, like then I was cool with it. And then that shit. And then all of a sudden, at like the age of 12,

they opened up this valve on you. Like this valve opened up on me. And shortly after that, I fell in love. But I didn't like the whole sexual thing about it. Right. I really loved this girl. In fact, all I did when her was dry hump. I never sucked the tities.

Nothing. I could have taken the tities. I never sucked the tities. Never fingered her. Every time I would touch her, would be through the jeans, you know what I'm saying? So I wasn't really, because of the Catholic part of me. Yeah, he's fucked up.

Don't worry about him. He's going to make noises and make grunts. I still had the Catholic part of me challenging me. Yeah. So the Catholic part of me was scaring me. I already heard shit on the street. We got to investigate this, but not really. Yeah.

You follow me? I'm going to investigate this, but very mildly. I'm not going to be like the other fucking savages. And it was now that you talk about it, the different AIDS things. Like, and okay, when I got to McKinley, when I got thrown out of Catholic school, I went to McKinley school. So I was there the sixth grade. The seventh grade, I used to hang out on the 26th Street side. And there were these two kids that would work during the weekend, their fathers, whatever.

Whatever. They were 13 and whatever. They worked Monday through Friday. And on Saturdays they'd get up and tell their mom they were going to Bergen line to buy clothes. But not really. They would get on the bus and hit through the Bronx or Brooklyn and go to different prostitute houses. And they would come back to school on Monday.

So we were young kids. How old were those kids? Seventh grade. Wow. Yeah. And his brother was a little slow. His brother was a little half a Momo. But in those days, they didn't put you in different classes.

They'd just put it together. But since they were Cuban, they didn't really get learned the language. They were both in the seventh grade together. Even though Alberto was older than one. But on Mondays, we would gather around them. And they would tell us the most disgusting stories you ever heard in your life. And one would be the narrator, but his brother would just go, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? And they would break down the whole thing. How they would walk into a house and the chick would approach him. And then she'd bring them into like a bigger type room and him and his brother could pick the girls. Then they'd go into different rooms and the chick would take a bucket out. and wash his dick,

scrub it down, no condom. Oh my God. Yeah. No condom. I don't think this soap doesn't it? This is 1970.

Yeah. Yeah. We were still seven years away from AIDS. Yeah. You know, we had no knowledge of AIDS. All we thought was we needed to get crabs,

that other shit you got and you went to the doctor and they gave your pills and you were back to the slinging dick. Right. We were a little weird smell to your dick. You know what I'm saying? So that was it.

They would tell us how they would go there and get. I remember him saying around the world the first time. I fucking die the laughter. That was the first person ever. Yeah. I go, so what do you pay? He goes, at $10, they fuck you straight. They get on top of you and fuck it until you come.

You come in them for an extra $2. Or you could wear a condom. Like, you know, just fucking different prizes. And then I go, like, what else? And then they go for like 15, you can eat them. For 25, you're getting around the world. He goes, I did that one time that was uncomfortable. You know, it was just for 25 hours, you're getting around the world.

Yeah. I wonder what happened to those boys? I don't know. Yeah, nothing good, I don't think. I lost contact with them in high school. They were like mechanics or something. They were very good with their hands. Yeah.

So, but that's not what we're talking about. The main thing was that lifted everybody around the curiosity. But now we decided how we were going to do it. You had no options. I could do it like them. I could go to one of those clubs in the city. Or I could just get a girlfriend. You follow me?

So that's part of being 13. Now you decide how you want to do it. That tells a lot about you at the age of 13 or 14. You know? me I was scared of all that stuff I was petrified I never talked to big game about it I avoided the conversation

like after the porn movie I was done yeah I was done and then years later I got involved in a car ride but I couldn't get out of it was the kid's birthday and as I'm going to go into the 1040 club so I'm in the car with them and that was it I lived it fully that night

that was the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me. That was, I paid $10 to get raped. Yeah. Like, I left there, I didn't want to have sex for a year or two. Like, that's it. Well, that's the, also, and I don't mean to deflect from your story because that reminds me, no, because in... I had to look at it that way.

I hadn't looked at it that way in a long time. Because in the movie, Jean Pompah shares a story about going to a kid's house, and it was a brother and a step sister, a step-sister, and that the brother would make this, and they were only like a year or two apart. I think they were like 12, 13, 14-ish, and how they had sex, and then they kind of made Jean have sex or whatever. And the way he was telling the story, it was a funny story, but at the end of the story, you're like, fuck, dude, that's molestation. Like, that is, you guys are fucking each other up. You know what I mean? And obviously something is going on at that house, if they're dragging someone else.

into it. But when you, when you, when men talk about things that happen, they tend to romanticize it and make it funny, but then when you have them in an intimate, uh, moment and they're sharing the story with you and the funniness goes away, you're like, no, that's, someone really molested you, you know, and I don't mean it like everyone's molested and everyone's right. I'm just saying it's, it's a different thing. You don't even get what you're doing. When I went to a 1040 club, it was such a shocking experience that it, you know, like it was like that that's too real for me. Yeah.

I wasn't ready for it. It's like when I bought Master Reality by Black Sabbath. I really like him, but this is a little too real for me right now. My mom just died. I just did fucking Crystal fucking THC. The exorcist is on the other TV. This is a bit fucking we happy right now.

You know what I was like, well, I went over to city that night, and I saw that degree of prostitution that night. that night as a 16-year-old. Let's clock it at that 16-year-old. A fucking comedy store main room. Take the tables out. Take the stage out.

Put two bartenders at each corner selling the four light alcohols and soda. It tastes like shit. They cut the booze. And 200 guys waiting to get their dicks up. And there's 40 women in there. It was fucking traumatizing. Yeah. And I also learned about men.

If there was 200 men in there, 180 of those guys that were very braggadocio, these are the guys in the corner that would never fuck a prostitute that everybody wants to suck their dick. They all had cologne on. They all were done to the nine spectacular. You know what I'm saying? They were all shaved their hairs,

and I learned a lot that night on the other side. Yeah. Of about a braggadocio man. Here they are paying $10 just how I am. And I'm not even sexually experienced. These were the guys that were always sexually experienced, and they had women eating their fucking ball sack, and all this shit.

And here they are standing right next to me waiting for the same fucking dirty pussy I'm waiting on. Yeah. Like, I left there that night disgusted in manhood and disgusted in women. Like, that whole night just shocked me. And it was great. It was a great age to get disgusted at.

Yeah. At that time, I was maybe, yeah, like I said, 16, maybe. said that. I wasn't driving. I wasn't driving. I was in driving. I know for my own self, my introduction to sex was all within my own control because my parents, which I feel very fortunate about,

and have fun and fond memories of being a little kid and my parents had in this box, in the hallway closet, true detective magazines, and playboys. And I can remember from the age of like 8 to 12 going in and then once I found it, you know, going in and just looking at the pictures and really digging, and I'm not into chicks anyway, but just really thinking how beautiful they were and how, like, excited it made me feel, you know what I mean? And so I love that I had that introduction, gentle introduction to sex. Like, I have a friend who, her experience with that obviously was

way, way different. And I'm always curious, like, how does it affect people later in the life, their sex life later. And when I was 18 and I started stripping, for me it didn't, because I had such a, my parents weren't weird about sex and it was out in the open. My mother was German. So like when I was a kid, we go to the park, people sunbathe with their boobs hanging out in Germany when I was a kid in the 70s. And so growing up and without shame involved with sex is a powerful thing. And when I was a stripper, it does. It wasn't a negative for me. It was an empowering thing for me.

You know what I mean? Because I didn't have a lot of power growing up and my parents got divorced. Everyone has a sob story, right? But at that time, as a girl, no one gave a shit what you said or what you thought. You were just, you know, a stupid girl. And to then become at the age of 18, a stripper and to understand the power on that. Yeah, the power of it. They're suddenly fucking listening to you.

I mean, in one ear and out the other, that's a really empowering thing. And what was so curious to me when Susanna was first talking about doing this project was like, I'm so interested in that with other people, you know, like what her experience of that is. And because she's been doing like burlesque or stripping or other stuff, and I'm very curious how it, why are you laughing, but how it affects her. her and affects how people see her, you know what I mean? The whole project was so interesting in that way. Speaking of effect, guess who came to my show Saturday?

Who? In Tampa. Who? My ex-girlfriend. The stripper. Really? It's a millionaire. Yeah.

And how's she doing? She's always been a sweet kid, but I'm no fucking, uh, um, dexter. You know, I never claimed to be fucking Mel Gibson or, uh, uh, What's the other guy? Zach, what's the good looking guy? Is that Gaffron? Yeah, I'm no Zach Gephyroth. Boy, she looked rough.

Oh, really? Didn't you say she's still stripping? I think she's still stripping. Really? But I can't see anybody giving her a dollar. Yeah. But you just give a change. It was, it was not more than them.

When I was a stripper, I was 18, there was this woman, and she was like 50. Yeah. And she would also always dance to men at work. the down under song or whatever? I just met them. Oh, you did? A one guy lives on Laurel Canyon. Oh, you did?

My kid's party, like a kid's party. That's hilarious. He was the guitar player when I looked them up. I'm like, wow. But she would always wear like that weird bathing suit, and she was like 50-something years old and just a little roly-poly lady,

and she would dance to that men at work, and you'd be like, fuck, I don't want to be that chick. Scary. No. Yeah. You know, even the wrestler. she was great in that

she played it really cool she knew she was over the hill when she was competing but she was still in there and I was selling that little ass and one night they just got to and she quit a job

but she did it it's a what a weird thing to do or not to do like you and I have had this discussion for years of longevity of a stripper you know it's three years

and you get the fuck out of it can't do it longer than getting a degree somewhere A new house But there is a toll I see the toll Drugs and alcohol That shit speeds up your life bad Quick, you know

Quick, you go from zero to fucking 60 You know women We see it All that shit's always shocked me I think that were ruined me Sexually Was those years of doing coke And fucking having sex

Oh really? Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure I think those years fucked me out because that blow after 6 in the morning, when you're just throwing them around, I would just throw whoever I was with, I'd just throw them around. I wouldn't even talk. I was just an animal. You just put them into position and fucking like their air, whatever.

And then years later, you can't do that shit no more. You can't. They throw you in jail for that type of shit, handcuffing people. What are you going to do, Felicia? Time moves. Time moves quickly. Well, when you guys were talking about walking. into the glory hole place in New York City and how your feet would sink into it reminded me the first time I walked because the first place ever worked out I did a wet t-shirt contest at the peppermint lounge and and the first time I walked in there and my feet hit the carpet that it was exactly that where your foot like where you could hear your foot crunchy right it's crunchy but sticky at the same time it's like and it smells that's the worst smell on the

planet. Those places, you know, I went in there and jerked off a few times. I mean, sometimes you go in there after a good Coke binge

the whole night, you got that old sperm in your nutsack. You thought you were going to bang this chick, but all of a sudden she had you at you, you were five in the morning

when she had a period and then you started, she didn't think it was a good idea, so you're like, fuck, I just nod at an eight ball when she threw a curbball at me. So I got to find another victim,

and you get off the bus in New York and you're like, sex. And your mind starts racing and you go in there. But I also would stand outside and just look at the people that were going there. Like right now, where you shot this was considered North Hollywood. It's way deep in North Hollywood on Lancash. On Lancash, okay.

I believe it or not, if you have a conversation with Susanna, she has regulars that would go in there. You know, and I guarantee you the best out of ten regulars, seven and a half of them, I'm a married. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. And you sit there and look and go, okay, what would a married guy want to go and go into a booth with a chick, maybe spend $22,000 singles to talk to him? Mm-hmm. You're not really going to have sex with it, right?

Right. You're on the other side of the class. So she plays with herself, you take your dick out. Yeah. I can't take my dick out no more because now I think there's always a camera. 30 years ago, I'd take my dick on everywhere. Oh, yeah. I'd take that goose out and show it to you.

Fuck, let's get the party started. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, I was one of those guys. 28 to 35, I just took the helmet out and cleaned the lint off right in front of you. I was like, I'd take the lint out of the turtleneck right in front of it. I was like a... I'm laughing because I've seen your dig many times. Hilarious.

Howlarius. Can't even take your dick out no more show it to somebody. And say, what else are you going to do? Give it a shot. Columbus did. You know what's so weird about that place is at the Venus fair? The backdrop of where the men are sitting is actually marble, white, black marble with white streaks on it. And you're like, did they do this by design?

Felicia's down to party. Like, Felicia took the picture for this. For the documentary cover. Oh, that's right, of your penis. Oh, that's right. That's right. And you know what? For the CD.

Yeah, no, I covered my nuts. CD? Yeah, first one of those things. I think, I thought it was a documentary. One of those. I don't even know. We went into the church. We snuck into the church and took pictures there.

But we didn't do the penis picture in the church. No, we did it in my, my garage in the corner. And the way I said it, I go, Felicia, you got a minute, get your camera. You know what I was saying? You never tell nobody nothing. When Felicia turned around, I had my pants down, and I had my dick hidden, and I just had my nut sack hanging there. And she just looked at them for a second, trying to figure out the lighting. Don't move.

Let me get it in focus. There was no hesitation at all. And she kept saying, Joey, don't move. Don't come towards me. But no, and I had those pictures on my computer, and then when they were my kids some, and they were like, what the fuck? I was all like, it's a long story. Do you have them labeled? Do you know who they were?

I think I might actually told them because they were like, who are you going out with? And I think I said, oh, Joey had me take a picture. I think I told them, which was probably not comforting at all. They were like,

my mom. Oh, my God, that's so hilarious. How hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh, anyway.

So, but that place there is so crazy. And to have cameras going and people come in while the cameras were going and go into the other rooms or the other girls. It's like you can point. They don't care. They want to get in there, get their business done. But it's a very interesting dynamic for sure. Are you allowed to take your dick out of these places?

Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. Please, for sure, for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. The more your dick comes out, the more dollar bills come out. Yeah, but they have signs up that say no masturbation, but that's, that's a proven fact. But they have signs up that say no masturbation, but that's what everyone does. What are you supposed to do?

Just take it out and just, that's weird. They do it right there and there, yeah. So, Felicia, like, you've been a stripper, and then you've also been married. Like, is it, what do you, and you were talking about how some of his regulars are, we're married? Like, what are you, what's your opinion on going to strip clubs when you're, like, married? Oh, well, because I'm at my age where I am, it's completely. different if I my opinion now as opposed to my opinion being like 30 and married got you just having a baby I probably have pretty poor opinions about it but to me it's kind of it's

I think it's different in different cultures that you're in and I think I'd be more angry about the money being spent than I would about you know meeting your guy friends there and having a drink and, you know, getting a table dance. Like, yeah, that's kind of weird, but I would be okay. And I've been on the other side of it, but I think I would be, if I was married in that situation and someone habitually did that, I'd be more mad about the money being spent. Because it's a lot of money. Right.

How much money do people usually spend? Well, it's all different because when I did it, I'm no spring chicken, so it was in the late 80s and so it's all different all over everywhere oh okay yeah have you been to a strip club right how much did you spend no you've never been to a strip club no are you serious ever next

I just want to pee if the other none of I haven't been up there about three months that's my little spot where is that off the Laurel Canyon and victory oh yeah it's open until five and when you go in what do you do what's like do you have a whole process I'm fucking embarrassed. Yeah.

It's like... Do you sit at the bar, shout up the ladies first? There's always those guys. There's no bar. There's like a bar where they sell water. So you go over there, you got to get a bottle of water in a receipt.

And you sit there and you just watch. And it's fucking... I don't know. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like my dick doesn't get hard until I get to dance or something like that, you know? So when you go there, like, what is the... the purpose of doing that.

Is it to relax? Yeah, yeah, I go to the strip from to relax. No, no, I'm totally serious. You're going to see somebody's fucking pussy that you haven't seen before. I know, but that's relaxing, right? No, you just wanted to eat. Maybe you ate an edible and went the wrong way, you know what I'm saying? When you ate it, you were mad at you're kidding or something.

Now you're in the mood to see somebody's fucking pussy that you ever seen before. And you go to the store and you have this burst of energy guys. And you know what, man? I went from one extreme in my life to the other. Like I was one guy that would, you didn't know when I was coming in. Like that was just me. I could walk in at 10,

I could walk in a 2 in the afternoon, or I could walk in a 3 that night, you know. Now I'm home at 10 o'clock. Like that's a late. We got home at 11.15. We stopped at Yum Yum donuts. Yeah. And there's nights.

Leaves stays home, and I'm back over the hill at 1015. And you're like, really? Really? Yeah. So you need to take Lee and go to like Cheetahs. You got to take Lee. Cheetahs is like on Sunset.

That's where you filmed. This is not happening. No. I don't like the sunset ones. You don't? No. The one on LaBreya is the most popular one in Hollywood. That's where if you go there five nights a week, you'll see movie stars in there.

You'll see all the hot chicks. The Kardashians go there. Oh, they do? Yeah. Yeah. Crazy girls. Crazy girls. one. That's the one on

La Brea. And then the ones on La Sienega and the one on sunset before you hit the purple veil, the pink veil, whatever the veil. Oh, the ninth veil. That's been there for... The seventh veil. The seventh veil. Yeah, yeah.

That's always been there since I moved here. So when I moved here, I moved here with a girl that danced that the one on La Sienaer and the seventh veil. she'd switch in between both of them. So during the weekends, at night, she'd work on Lesienega, and during the week, she'd work at that seventh fail. So when she would go to work, did you have any attachment to what she was doing at all?

Or you just kind of were like, you could compartmentalize it. For like 18 months, it bothered me. But at the same time, I'd be a hypocrite because she was giving me money to do comedy. And I was always clipping her for a 20 or a 30. Or maybe you're 40 You know what I'm saying Oh my god You were annoying

Oh my god She put a bunch of money On the table And go count it And I just dropped 20s on the floor And step on the Jesus Oh

Wow What you're gonna do You know You gotta pimper hole out You gotta pimper hole out So when you did that for After 18 months I was an hypocrite

You know And then I started clicking And little things happened Did you treat her Different in the relationship Because of it? You just don't know. Yeah.

But I was so into comedy and cocaine that I shut that part of my manhood off, which never really works. That never really works. You pay for that somewhere along the line. You know what I'm saying? I know I paid for it somewhere after that along the line. When you shut your manhood against something, I don't care for a woman strips.

I really don't. I would never judge a woman for that this. thousands of circumstances. I'd rather see that. Did you see that fucking white chick the other down, Lowell Canyon, collecting change? That didn't look bad. I mean, she wasn't no... You know what I did?

You did see her. I did. And I was like, what the fuck is that? I thought there was copped. Did she have a bicycle? Because I saw her by the bridge with a bicycle. On the way down, on your side. Like if I go on Gelson's to make the right.

Okay, we're both on the same track. I blew my mind and I caught the light and I looked at it. I don't know, Mike. Yeah, that was unusual. That's unusual. She had a nice sweater on. Yeah, that was really weird. You know what I thought about when I saw that?

Ted Bundy. I don't know why. That's the first night. I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm like, Ted Bundy would have a field there with this fucking girl. Jesus, George. You know, Ted Bundy would have that VW already in veil about the stabbing the neck by now. Yeah, I get scared for people.

I get scared for women. You know what? I don't mind if you do that. You know what? Go indoors. Go indoors. Go over here to victory. Shake that ass a little bit.

So what? You let somebody finger you for the small 300? What are you going to tell you? Okay. Yeah, because they have like the downstairs, right? Because one of the times I went there, I saw a girl that listened to the podcast. Like the first time I went into that strip club about three years ago, I was bored to pieces. And it must have been on a quarter to 11.

And then if I go home, my wife passed out. The whole house is quiet. I sit there with the fucking cats. You could just do that so long. It's not like I'm going to get my dick sucked. I just want to see who was crack a lagger with that motherfucker. You know what I'm like? First time I went in there, I went in there.

I'm like, there's nobody in here. Not a soul. I thought this place would have like valet parking and guys in there dancing. And everybody in there was creeping behind the shadows. So I walked out. I went to the car, and all of so the girl came running after me. Come back. I love you on the podcast.

I watch you on Joe Rogan. Come on. The girls know who you are. Come on. And I went in there. She dragged me after like an hour or 30, for 40 minutes. She dragged me for a whatever dance.

And it was okay. The dance was good. She was putting her pussy on my jeans and shit like that. You know what I'm saying? That's all I kept thinking about. You're rubbing your pussy on my jeans. I got to explain this odor now. You know what I'm saying?

I'm fucking jeans. And it was fun, but it was like, and then she started working me. There's a room in the back. We go upstairs. And I love all that shit. That's why I'm Harvey Weinstein. Really? Oh, I love negotiating with a bitch.

What? And for no reason. Yeah. Like, I'm one of those guys. Like, I'll just push it just to see what I can get. Yeah. I'm a creepy motherfucker like that. Wow.

All is being revealed. No, no, no. This happened. Like, I had one time. I was on the train. I was on the phone with Josh Wolf. 1998. I'm in New York City. I called Josh to see if I got mail.

Me and Josh were living together on sunset with his girlfriend. And along the phone with Josh and all right, listen to me, take that check deposit for me, please, because my shit's about to bounce. And he goes, where are you? I go, I'm on an ape train. I'm going up to Harlem to get some wheat.

And next thing, you know, a chick creeps up behind me and she starts tap me on the shoulder. And she's like, for $3. in a light, I'll suck your dick. Oh, no. Right? That type of shit, I love that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feed right into that shit. No, I can see you just doing that. I'm not the type of guy that would go up to Felicia and go Felicia. Yeah. Yeah, and then you were saying you a light on the rent. Yeah. What if, what if... Yeah.

No, I know. What if you were from drop 400 on the floor and I stuck on your ass when you were looking the other way? Would that take care of things for a while? You know what I'm not one of those guys. But if you approach me with a deal, oh, I suck that in. I want to know particulars. I want to know... Guarantees.

I turn into the widest guy you've known in life. I come up with a list with glasses on. What can you even guarantee? Huh? What can you guarantee that it doesn't even make sense? The guy, you have no idea. I'm sure it's everything. I get as creepy as shit.

How's your dick-sucking abilities? You know, like I interview them thoroughly. Right, right. Okay. You know, what do you need the money for? Does it get a point where they realize you're fucking with them? Never. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, I'll keep them. I'll keep him on ice. Just from my creepy mind to know, because I didn't approach them. Uh-huh. They contacted me with some fucking story. Right. We were telling the one about Ralphie Mae last week.

I got rest of the soul. When I was in my house, living with Terry. This girl knew Terry and everything. And called me one night. She goes, listen. I just got a movie. I ate the ball. Police had $3 in my pocket.

We were living in Hollywood. I had $3 in my pocket, maybe. me. He calls me. There's $1,500 for SAG, and I booked this project, and if I don't get it, I can't shoot it. It's going to be my first guest star, okay? Let me ask you this if I give you the $1,500. There we go. Oh, yeah, what am I going to get this? How am I going to get this back? Well, I'm going to get the co-star job back, and the first check I get, I'll give it to you. I go, what's the co-star pay?

I think it pays $750, okay? So after taxes, I'm getting $400. where's the other 11-h-hug? The house is this going to get taken care of. She's like, well, I don't know. I'll book another job. And then there's silence. Right. It was the creepiest thing.

Yeah. It was silence. And she goes, well, what if maybe we could? What do you tell them? Well, you know what I mean? Maybe we could see you somewhere. Yeah. So what are you saying?

I'm right when they opened that door. I just attack. All right. So listen. So how good is your little pussy? is what are you telling me right now? This is what's going to go down and I go back without this situation. I had

her going. Like she's like I don't, well I only fuck. No, no, no, no, you got to suck a dick. She goes, I don't do that. For $1,500, you got to suck a dick. You know what I'm saying? You can't show up with that little Filipino pussy and think I'm going to go home. She was too broke, but the funny thing was she had been working me. She showed

up in time with a miniskirt and asked me for gas money and she flashed that little dragon at me. Right, yeah. And I made, and I And I was like, oh, this is not going to end up good. Right, right. No, you know, I thought to myself, she doesn't know what she's playing with. Right. You follow the same thing?

Like, she has no idea. So I'm going to give her the rope. But that night, I go to, I go to her listen. So where are we going to meet? I go, we'll meet it to four seasons in Marina Dore. I go, we're going to stood here. Everything's going to go down. She's like, yeah, everything.

Okay. I go, call me back on an hour. Felicia, I forgot about it. Oh, no. You know when you forget about something because you get so hard. I'm watching 60 minutes or something and the phone rings and it's Ralphie, man.

What are you doing? I'm downstairs. Let's go get some reefer. I run downstairs and I'm not in Ralphie's car two minutes and the phone rings. What's up, buddy, get to see. And I'm playing.

And I go, Ralphie, don't move the fucking car. I go, you got to hear this. I'll fill you in on it later. I'm like, what's up? She's like, none. So are we going to meet? I go, we're going to meet. I'm going to get a little.

the cash right now listen let me ask you a question she asked me for the she she goes so what is it that you want to do and that right there I had the opening I go I want to suck your pussy I want you to lick my nutsack I go I want to let your ass on fire

and there was a beat and she goes can I call you right back and then she called back she goes I borrowed the money from my uncle and then about a few days later she unfriended me on Facebook that was yes that shit.

That I love all that nonsense. There's people that think there's certain women that think they got the pull on you. And I love when they show up. Like I love when they show up and try to pull like I. I know who's sincere. Right. I know who's sincere.

You know, I know. Well, that's so interesting about the Harvey Weinstein thing is where someone put on my Facebook, what about the women that complied? Let's, I want to know who complied. What actresses actually suck to get a, or fuck to get a, part and I'm like I have no interest in that like I don't like because if two people are going to

have fun with each other and do what they got to do I don't I care about if you know the women that say no if you know anything about Harvey Weinstein he's got this all on tape oh no I hope listen to me he's going to come out and go fuck the Weinstein company fuck this company fuck that company fuck that company I got tapes that'll sink a bitch you know what I'm saying I would doubt that he'll put together a compilation and just A compilation of once Of him fucking young actresses In the ass

Gets him all Because he did fuck a bunch of them Supposed Why? There was a bunch of them That said fucking Go do what you need to do How many guest are rows

How many movies Eleven movie deal Stick it in wherever you are You know he's a filthy animal He taped some of them So he's gonna come out And just drop bombs Wow

He's gonna cower at the end and go Because that's what You know what I guarantee Listen half the people that spoke against them are just very hypocritical. They knew what he was doing for years.

And now that the boat is sinking they jumped on, it'd be interesting. What happens and that guy comes out of his rehab and he gets his story straight. That's going to be fucking interesting. Well, I just think about, like, the type of person that does that is just a fucking bully to everybody.

Oh, no, he's crazy. Yeah, he's crazy to everybody. He's 65. He's lovely. it. Yeah. He loved it. He don't give a hug of him on money.

But you know what? You never know what people actually have. He's in Arizona right now. He's got three chicks that don't even speak English. He's going to kill him when he's done with him two weeks from now. He's going to come back and he goes, I'm healed. And then ABC's going to give him two mill for an interview. No, he's done.

He's a creepy fucking dude. He's done. Listen, he's going to have to tell his story to somebody. And that dude's going to come back. some creepy fucking stories because all his friends turned on him at the end. He's in there right now going that motherfucker

you know how many times she came over and sucked my dick for free? Yeah, well those days are over my friend. Those days are over Harvey. Those days are long time. No, guys like Harvey, O.J. Simpson they always find the freak, Felicia.

Yeah. Well, most predators do. Where the fuck do you think O.J.'s Where the fuck do you think OJ's been? Nobody's seen a picture of him since he got out of the jail. He was playing golf. Yeah, I saw a picture. He's having a good old time. He was up at the ranch.

No. Yes. He was headed to the ranch. Something was going on with like a girl on his lap or whatever. Yeah, he was headed to the ranch. That's a good, a bad decision. He's a sexual monster OJ.

He's been locked up for 11 years. There's a white chick, a blonde lookalike right now that he's fucking the shit out of it. Because that's what he was in to all those years. All those chicks, he fucked all those years afterward. All looked like his. ex-wife, you know. If you watch the documentary, O.J. in America and the other one, they were all blind. The one in Florida, she was a co-cat, you had to see this brought. Just like the

fucking chick he killed. So yeah. Right. There's a blonde chick right now. Getting drilled by poor O. Jack. Well, I had a big fight with my friend Alan, and we had a huge fight because he was all like, well those girls any girl that was in the hotel room at two o'clock in the morning they ought to know what's coming their way or whatever and it's kind of like not really i mean maybe but that's victim blaming you know what i mean that's making the victim feel bad and then i had another friend who said you know when i was 18 i was at spring break with a group of people and we were all going to go somewhere and we're in the hotel lobby and a guy uh that i just met was like i got to go grab my coat come with me real quick and then she got, you know, in trouble in his room that way.

It's like you don't, you don't know, like, all the time. What about, and I think about as young girl comics on the road, and you have to share a condo with someone, what are you going to say, like, if something happens at 2 in the morning, you know, like things happen and some, and you can't police where you're at all the time. You know, me, really? I know, I'm honest.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm very honest. A lot of girls came back. the hotel room with me that thought that we're just going to do a line of coke and leave to. I tricked them in there, I lowered him into the spider's web. Well, don't say too much, Joey Jesus.

Yeah, but no, no, no. Right. Nothing like that, but you never know. Because people are now so hypersensitive. It's hard to joke about it because people are going to, that's why, you know, Bob Weinstein now someone's pointing their finger at the brother. It's like, well, you know, everyone's going to point fingers now.

Fucking crazy. Yeah. it really is a crazy world we live in and interesting at the same time it doesn't even like when you read the stories they don't even make sense it's like who would go who would like and not not the girl like like who would like a thing to change into a robe mid-meeting yeah a predator someone who's used to getting their fucking way and be like get into a hot like it doesn't even they don't even seem real he pissed and found the one chick

you know, it was just You're like jerked off in a potted plant And like in a hallway In a hotel hallway I've done that Yeah, have you? Not in a hotel In a potter plant

Sure, you're sitting there three in the morning You're looking for something to come in The plant looks thirsty, you know what I'm saying? You're shooting right to the root Next thing you know the plant grows six inches Everybody's happy It's sunny in the fucking room Oh my goodness

Oh no Or the plant dies. And that's the one marker. Wherever Joey goes, a pot of plant dies. I've sat with Lee various nights. I've had Kate Quigley on here, and we discussed different situations we've been on in our lives. Like, I was very naive for years until I got out of Jersey

and then I started meeting different pealing. I'm getting my hair cut one day. I'm 19. I'm in Basel, Colorado. I live in a house with three guys. We got four different bedrooms. House is beautiful. And next door to us, we got two chicks to the fucking torture.

I'm talking about torture from Milwaukee to Italian chicks. Dark. Both of them had so much hair in their pussy that it came out of their top of their shorts. Remember the 80s? Nobody shaved that fucking monster. No, they were. Nobody shaved that monster. And she, her, she had so, when she put shorts on her,

one time and I saw the top of a pussy He has almost fainted You know almost fainted The idea at Marie E.T. I'm sitting on the phone And I'm sitting in minding my own business and this little young girl walks in Maybe 18 years old I mean the day it was 100 degrees

Yeah I'm sitting there on my own business Marie T This girl didn't know it, their sexual brothers She had tight with gray She had like a white t-shirt No titties, no bra, nipples popping right out, very cute. She walked in and she got like a nice tea or something,

but she had a sweat bead going right through her little pussy, walked right for a reed tea with it. You can see where it was sweating right into the shorts. And you know what? That's so attractive. I can't look you in the eye as you finish this story. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, it does.

A girl with a sweaty snatch. That's after one second and that's the description. You're fucking kidding me? she just walked from fucking Ventura and that monkey got all sweaty it's nice and alive for she. Her little feet dirty her heels a little bit dirty

but she was 18 what are you going to do that you just fucking you just fucked them up for life well I read that Kate Beaconsol he invited her up to his room and she was 17 you know everyone has their twist

but when you when your compulsion becomes predatory and the thing is why I got this argument in such a big argument with my guy friend It's like you don't understand. It's not just men, by the way, but people that are predatory, they can sense who they can corner.

You know what I mean? They can sense who they can, as you like to say, wheezel down. I don't tell you something, no. I never thought I would say something like this. But look, I'm 54, I can tell you this. I've met six or seven female sexual brothers in my life. That thinking back now today, who I am today going, wow, I didn't see that.

Yeah. We had a girl at my high school that I could look you in the face. I can tell you whatever story I want. I could be joking with you. She blew and fucked every wrestler in high school, whether they were a freshman, sophomore, and she fucked them in the wrestling room. She was like the chick from Sex and the City in Porkies.

The guy was fucking her up. in the stands. She was yelling the hot one, the old one. If you watch Porkies, that's her giving up that pussy. She looked good then, too. But to this teacher for four years, she never fucked me because I didn't wrestle.

But she knew that she knew that I would be hanging out and doing coke with guys and we dropped them off at her house. She'd opened up the door away about us. Like, you think about that today. That woman got to watch. They honored her. For what?

like the gym teacher of the decade and shit. Oh, she's a gym teacher? He was a gym teacher at my school. And you think about it now today. You think about, listen, man, I'm horny like every other fucking guy. I got my own fucking sense. You know what I'm saying? I got no, I never fell out of a tree with a bag of M&Ms or nothing like that.

I'm not a fucking rapist. That's never been my game. But I've had some fun in my life, you know what I'm saying? Who the fucking might of judge somebody? But there's some cold-blooded chick that goes out there for, Felicia, you know it. You were at the front lines. Yeah, for sure.

Once you see it, like I was staying in the bathroom just now, I went in there to piss, I was washing my hands. And I'm like, what can I tell Felicia? You know, I'm thinking. And I'm awesome, my junior year before I quit high school that summer, I was going through a rough time financially. But it was on my own doing. No, don't feel sorry for me because I love cocaine.

You know what I'm saying? I love coke. And every time we went out. It was $50. And the kids I grew up with had money. I didn't have money, so I was trying to keep up with them every fucking night. So I was broke, and I would, you know, I would do what I had to do. And this guy, Lou Donato, asked me if I wanted a job being a doorman and his massage parlor.

Oh, really? And it was made right up the hill from where I live. I'm like, yeah. Like, he would tell me every night, just pick one on the way out if you want to fuck one of them. Even at that age, like, I just. Well, I... Something creepy, like... And I like sex.

Everybody likes their dick sucked and their balls. I mean, everybody. You know, it's an interesting thing as a woman to talk about sex and having had the experience of, for a couple years working as a stripper. I mean, I hate to... It sounds so bland when you say it. But I want people to understand, like, I did, like, a wet t-shirt contest. I won money.

I won, like, $300 in 1982. That's like $1,000 now. Yeah, it's like, with so much money that you in. And then I did the contest a couple of times And then the guy's like, no more contest, you're going to work here. And so I remember, and I, and the thing, the story is, I was married right out of high school to someone, and then he became abusive, and then I had nowhere to go.

And so I went to and did the wet teacher contest. And that's how I got into stripping. And I remember, and this goes back to you saying, some women are predatory. When I say predators, I'm not talking just about men. There are people that are sexually predatory, including women. And I remember I went down in the basement to go to the dressing room.

And I could hear like scuffling going on. And I turned the corner. And it's these two biker chicks, like Cripple Creek kind of biker chicks. Like they were the tough chicks. Like you can imagine in the 80s, early 80s. And they were beating the fuck out of this young kind of fresh-looking stripper, not much older than myself. I mean, kicking her in the head, beating the fuck at her. And I was all like, ooh, this.

I don't want to participate in this, right? So I sneak back up the staircase. And I go out into the club again. And it was like 6 o'clock in the evening because I came to do my first shift. And the manager's like, I told you get down there, get dress. And I was like, I can't say to him some shit's going down because then I'm going to be the chick getting the shit kicked out of me, right?

So I remember sitting like on the stairway and these chicks coming up. And they were like, did you see anything? And I was like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm just here my first day, right? And those chicks were predatory. Those chicks would steal the rings off men's fingers when they got fingered. I mean, these were some serious. Their boyfriends were all biker.

These were like the biker chicks that were stripping back then. And so I totally get what you're saying. Like when Jean Pompah tells that story in Pervs about the 14-year-old girl who's fucking her stepbrother. and then they as a team are trying to fuck him, the girl's predatory, right? Like, there's some shit going on in that house, but both those kids are now being predatory to Jean Pampa.

And it's when someone tells a story like that, or when a man says to another woman or says to another man, no, I knew this chick and that chick was, you know, it wasn't me. It was it I totally believe when men say that. You know what I mean? Some chicks are predatory, absolutely. I don't think, I've ever been with one.

No, no, no, I'm not saying that. I'm just talking about women that I've met that I've been around that years later. I've heard thousand stories. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you're like, are you serious? And they're like, oh, my God.

You know, you should have seen. I have a friend who's predatory. A really predatory. Now that I think about a comedian chick. Yeah. And she moves and waves. Like she's just like a guy. Yeah.

She would move, she would be a regular female comic, and then she'd go to an outside bar afterward instead of going out with the staff. And she'd zero in the guy. Go home, let the guy basically rape her. Up her ass, light a pussy, that was her thing. When she got Hammond, and so she never had to see the guy again. That was her freak. Right.

later we heard the stories when we went back and they're like what happened I don't know you're like you got to talk to you about something remember you came and she was leaving yeah that night she had a threesome she would pick random people never at the comedy club

she's very so when you're that predatory yeah no when you're that thoughtful about the process right you're predatory yes okay so she instead of you know she would be right here with us telling us I haven't gotten late in three years

guys don't want to hit up on me but then at night instead of going to Hollywood and picking up dick she would drive to colobasses and go to like the dirtiest borrowing collabasas walk in zero into the guy take him home let her do whatever

and she'd get up before the guy woke up and would never see that person again she'd never even go to that neighbor again and I found that years later she was even taking money in some towns. Of course she was. Can you imagine this shit?

No, I can't imagine. Yeah. So now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, she was very proud of it. Sex is different for different people. Like when people are saying, who did comply? Who did fuck Harvey? And I'm like, you know what?

I give no fuck. Yeah. Like, I know people are so like, what do you care about? I care about the women that were actually harmed by this or felt manipulated. And all those chicks were between the. age of 18 and 25. I don't give a fuck of some chick likes to get her freak on with some other

fucking twisted fuck. I don't care about that. Let me give some shoutouts here. Brett B. Cleo, Nazmo King, Cararat, Quadcast, Courtney, Bob Lalingis, one by one podcast, Crystal Oaks, and Bill Pechuli.

I think that's the name. You know, I love you. Cox. I got to look twice. Don't forget tomorrow and I, Lexington, on Broadway. The party starts, bring the fucking roller skates, and the reefer. I'm there all weekend, cock sucker. Sorry about that. I don't get this out there. Lisa, what's going on with you?

You're looking good? I thought your wife was leaving for three days. No, she had the best business trip ever was like 10 hours. But I have a funny news story. If you wanted to hear it. There was a restaurant in California. Oh, yeah. Do you see that?

You don't want to talk about that? Who gives a fuck? Yeah, my chicken, they were serving chicken. They were serving Popeye's chicken. Yeah. They were doing what? They were serving Popeye's chicken at the restaurant. Yeah.

How about the freak that was squirting all over children's flutes in the school district? Did you see that story? No, no, no, no. People are so weird. No, no. Fuck that shit. You know what? No, that, I was very interested when I saw the little parts of your movie.

I wanted to see how people are going to react to it this week. And that's why I wanted you to come on and hopefully get some people down there. Because their reaction to that, like my reaction to it when I saw bits and pieces online, I thought it was a great idea. I love the idea of the just a peep show, the honesty that goes in there. Oh, yeah, because it's an odd. When someone shows you their pussy, you can't lie to that person. That's a late night. Yeah.

That's a showtime, late TV show. okay the guy comes in every week and it's cast around regular and you put two newbies in there maybe they become regulars later they come back you know maybe she talks

to winter sticking a finger up their ass and they break down and start crying and run out of that and then they come back a year later and you know Susanna old beg is like oh you come back you like the little finger up the ass didn't you bitch you know

and he starts breaking down whatever this is Right. This is a great idea. No, it's definitely like taxicab profession meets. Yeah. This is a 15 minute. One of those 15 minute inserts.

One o'clock in the morning. I agree. I agree. Pop it. That's it. Two guests. Maybe a rotating guy. Some guy that comes in and gives you a ton of money and lights his balls on fire.

Does something really creepy like a cheese grater on his nut sack or something like that. Something that people like, what the fuck just happened? Right. And later on, you realize he's the CEO. of a company that makes a half a billion dollars a year or something. Like, that's the interesting part about it. All walks of life that go in there. Yeah.

From the common drug addict to the successful guy that's home that's been married for 30 years, never cheated on his wife. But that's his little dirty secret. He always has an out that there's a glance between him. That's his out. Right. What are you talking about, Ali? I walked in together magazine for a friend of mine at work,

and I saw this boot and I walked in and the chick showed me a pussy and I put $2 in there. That's all that happened. There was a glass. I couldn't do anything. What are you talking about? You're always innocent. It is interesting those guys that do that.

Yes, I'm telling you. That's what I want to. Yes. Yeah, that they really have like an affinity towards a few of the dancers. There's guys that go to the fuck and there's guys that go to strip clubs and we'll Captain Save a hose. No, no, no. Then there's guys that go to strip clubs and they'll put money on the thing but never

make contact with you. even though you'll pull out your thumb for them to put it in, they won't. Yeah, some guys are not down at all. So those are the guys, those are the guys that this is as evil as it gets. I love my wife. This is as bad as I could be. Right. That's what's really, I think that years ago, I read something years ago that some people

trying to get strip clubs out of the town, somewhere like Iowa, somewhere in where it's very Christian. Right. And the argument was that it's proven that in communities where there's strip clubs, more marriages last longer. Oh, really? Because the common threat is that the guy's not going to fuck his secretary. The common threat is that the guy's going to come in once every 60 days. Right.

It's just a fantasy. Yeah. I'm 50. You come, you're 22. You sit on my lap. I feel your titty. I give you an extra 50. You let me rub your pussy.

I squirt all over my fucking I squirt all over my pants All right, keep it going And I go home Right in the room, that's it No yeah That's as evil as a guest Some people that is the

I don't even want you to touch me Don't even touch my dick Right right Me just touch petting your little monkeys And it make me bust in my fucking pants And just that little heartbeat Is what I need To keep me saying

Hey everyone's different Everybody's different Everyone's different I get up I go in the bathroom I wash my dick off I give the little black guy that gives you a hand towel in there I give him $3 for that look

Don't look at my dick I'm gonna wash it in the mirror here You never wash your dick in front of a valet I have done in a thousand times Well you will drop your pants for anything Why don't I just go home? It's in your home And let me tell you something

So you give this guy three, four dollars You might be dick down Why don't just clean it at home? Because, you're just cleaning it at home. Because by the time you get home, you don't want no evidence. You clean the jizz off in the bathroom. You stop at the bakery. You bring all your white flowers.

And nothing happened and nobody knows nothing. And nobody's hurt. Right. You cheat on nobody. It's pretty sad. A lot of people live their lives like that. That's a fucking tremendous lifestyle. A lot of people live there life like that.

Where they just tread on a little bit, Charlie. And nobody gets their feelings hurt. Right. After a while, you even tell you, if I went to the strip club to stop in there for a beer. Was your girlfriend there in that? And that's, oh, yes, you ready to marry me. Yeah. But you're still together.

The wife knows you went leaving. You know what I'm saying. I do think you've met, obviously, you both have Susanna. And I just think give her, she has so much, like, the biggest balls ever that she did that, that she had this idea and then actually was able to have really cool conversations and being so vulnerable with being naked. No, season two, somebody's got to fuck her in that boot. No, stop. Somebody's going to come from ailing, gorilla fuck away

those little shoes on and shit. Oh, my God. Come on one of her tattoos and shit, Terrily. She's got awesome tattoos, by the way. God, I want to get tattoos.

Oh, just a good load on one of those sad tattoos and walk out of there like you're on the joint. Not that you've thought about it. No. I was saying, are you auditioning in Germany?

You got to take Lee to a strip. You guys got to do that so you can talk about it. We can't talk about it on the air because it's not good no point no trust me you don't want to know last time

Lee crossed the street really no no yeah and then end up wow you know what I'm saying do you ever

just go wildly do you ever like what's like not really no I mean like this is as wild as it

how much how much he got he wants to get wild he's not he's 29 he's ready

to bust a nut he wants to hang out with Luke's Guy Walker and fucking two live crew. When he saw that video, his eyes lit up. He goes, that's why

I got to hang out with those guys. He knows. He's dying to hang out with two live crew and go out there. I don't blame him. Just to be 29 again and what you live and learn. You're like, you know what? Would you want to be 29 again? And live through that whole thing again?

No, but one thing I do know, if I was 29, I fell in love when I got divorced. Like I was such a pussy. Like I was such a fucking pussy. Like I'm writing a book and I was actually outlining that the other day. Like I even said, what the fuck is wrong with me?

There was this bar in Boulder that I was the host of on Tuesday nights. The Boulder broker. On Wednesday nights, it was chicks 40 and over that went there to suck cock and do blow. They called it. I wish I was lying.

to you. Okay. Boulder had, listen, Boulder had this thing called FAC. It was on Arapaho Boulevard. It was at a hotel there, the Hilton. Who the fuck knows what it's called today. In 1985, from 1978 to 1985, Playboy called it one of the hottest spots in the country if you wanted to get your dick sucked on Fridays. This was way before valets. When a Friday at 12 o'clock, you'd be driving on Arapahoe, and you could see, see people already running to get like a table in there. It was that much of a dick-sucking establishment. That's where young folks. It was a strip joint though, right? No. Oh. It was the bar at a hotel.

Oh, really? This was the shee place. If you were 25 to 40, you did blow. Uh-huh. And you wanted to suck dick and talk about lies and talk about your yacht and bowl and Houston and shit. Just tremendous shit. This was just crazy shit, which nobody.

You can remember. What else was that? I never went that. Oh, you never went in? Not one time. Yeah, what yours is this? This probably went from 70-something to about 88. It was popular.

Oh, really? Remember how much Coke there was in Colorado? Oh, my God. I remember when I met Jeff Valdez, and he took me, he said, let's have lunch. He was just a comic that Joey hates, and for good reason. and we went to a lunch and on the table and it's all stockbrokers everywhere

like a busy place he would just pour the Coke out on the lunch and I was like what the people have no idea it was crazy people have no idea what 1983 the 88 was in this country

yeah it was crazy then it locked down I went back to New York my buddy did the Atlanta Coke in the bathroom they asked them to leave I was in shock I was like are you people serious You know, we used to do coke on the tables because that was a long time ago.

People were doing coke at tables. You order dessert and you put two lines of coke out and you rolled it up. Nobody said nothing to you. I mean, you couldn't sit there like Tony Montana, but you could do it under control. Nobody was saying nothing to you. Yeah, it was crazy. It was a different fucking world. No, that bar was crazy, but there was something that I was going to tell you about that area.

Like, I can't remember fucking now. But that FAC was hotter than shit. I mean, there would be droves of people there. Did you ever go to the limelight in New York? The church. Yeah. Yes. I went there once when I moved in 94, right when it was like, went to the end.

And that was the, and I'd seen some crazy stuff, and that place was crazy. That was crazy. Just everything's the people doing in the bathrooms. It was like, what's the ball. Yeah, I never went to none of those crazy. like Venus flytrap where you pay $100 and people fuck I never seen none of that growing up

I didn't like that shit at all it used to drive me crazy like I said I worked for Louis de Nado that massage parlor and there was a girl that would come up to me every night and she'd go when are you going to let me suck your dick I want you to come on my hair and I would leave there every night going

who wants them to come on your hair I would go who does this disgusting things like I didn't understand so much about fucking sex Then I met the fucking girl The one I met in Florida And after I was with it like three months She told me a story that

For three years she had sex with a guy And he paid her rent, her car payment Like my head almost exploded Like his open-minded As I had almost exploded Why? Because I'd never heard of such a thing I had never heard of such a thing

Like in my world I didn't hear it's such a thing What did he get in turn for this rent? Pussy like a motherfucker twice a woman Sex? No, he'd come over and buy a chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, he had sex. Okay. The guy was married. The guy was a stripper. The guy was married with a family. Right. With kids. And he paid her nice rent, bought her a car, paid her tuition. Oh, my God. And he'd come over twice a week and just do whatever he'd want for like six years. Right.

But she got an education. Yeah. Hey, everyone's different. Everyone's different. She got a master's degree. in reality. Yeah, no, what are you going to fucking do? Listen, all that stuff, man, is what makes that whole sex world because nobody knows really what your freak is. Nobody knows, yeah.

Nobody knows. Yeah. I never let nobody get the freak out of me. Like, I wish when I was 21, I would have went somewhere where they would have stuck sponges up my ass and why? Because at least now, would have had something, I would have liked, like something different. Everybody eats pussy with a mask on or something. You hang out with Tom Cruise

All wise shut You go to some house And there's chicks walking around with masks Oh right Right I never went to one of those things I don't think I ever did one of those No that shit ever happened to me

Like I always got caught with the chick With a disease An aerial disease Like that's what I got Some chick that after I was with She ain't make a piece of pussy But then I scratched for a month afterward Scratch that's not led to denial

You know what I'm saying What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done Lee I don't know. I mean, I've always been afraid of strip clubs. I mean, I don't... Why are you afraid of them, Lee? I feel like the strippers... It's always weird.

It's been weird to pay to get in, and then, like, you can't really touch them, right? You could go and do whatever the fuck you want now and this is a strip club. And I always feel, I always felt like they'd hate you. They have the control ones, and then they have the ones where... Because I think even at that place, they have cameras,

but there's really nobody upstairs. Listen, me, I like to cut through the must and the fuss. I want a good show. What's a good show means? Let the pieces fall where they make. You know what I'm saying? What do you mean by a good show? Like, what are you charged to go upstairs?

What's the going right to go on? We charge 260. Oh, you just want to negotiate? No, I don't want to negotiate it. What happens? What goes on back there? Well, there's $60 a dance and there a song. But if you gave me 80, I'll give you a good dance.

What's a good? dance. I want to know what I'm getting my fucking. I want to know what I'm getting for my tax deduction. You know what I'm saying? The next thing you know

is your research? Yeah, but no, what do you want to do back then? What goes on over there? This one goes on nothing. But if you want to be in a more personal situation, we get to go upstairs, and that's $265 for a half hour

for 20 minutes. What do you think? Well, listen, a lot can happen in 20 minutes. I don't really know you. But I'm the type of dude that I want the pieces to fall with them. Nobody says nothing. We wrap it up, we

clean up, and nobody knows nothing. What do you think? What do you want? Two-60? I'm going to throw you four bills. I don't want to hear a fucking word. I want you to go upstairs and rock my fucking world. Absolutely. You go upstairs, they do a little nice dancing. I don't want, listen, don't hold on to the panties for that long. I didn't come here to see Venus fucking... I didn't

come here to see Victoria's Secret. I came here to see that fucking dragon of love. You understand me? And then dance a little bit for another 30 seconds, then back that ass up. What's that song by the black chick with the fucked up hair to the English chick?

Hold on, roll up to the bumper, baby. No, the limousine. Come on, Doug. No. Nicky Minaj? No. This is the... Who? Bo. Put on YouTube, roll up to the bumper. All right. Look

who this is. You're going to die. All right. Okay. And I want to see the video, Lee. I don't want to hear this song. I want to see the video. Stop look at me in the eye when you're negotiating sex, though. You like it, don't you?

It turns you on. Why is he staring at me? There's a way to do it that actually turns women up. It's never heard it. It's not that it turns like you're mesmer. Like you're hypnotizing me. Look, there it is. Listen, let's cut this shit.

You haven't been late in six weeks. Let me throw you the small 300. More than six weeks. Is it great, Joan? Let me, yeah, put on Grace. You ever see this? Watch the video. This is Grace Jones.

She's the original. Mickey Menaji. Nope. What? Mickey Menage. Watch this. What? What's Mickey Menage?

Look at this. This is style. This is when some women didn't give a fuck and she was one of them. Look at this. Look at this savage. You think she gave a fuck, Feliz? She gave no fuck. Oh shit.

Oh, shit, Felicia. Look at it. Look, Felicia. What it used to look like? What? Oh, shit, Felicia. Are you fucking kidding me? Felicia, when I drop music on you, I rock, you fucking work.

Oh, shit. Oh, is that a girl? That's Grace Jones, bitches. Look at New York. Look at the old New York. There you go, Felicia. Calling shit. She's pretty tall, right?

Nobody came on stage With a man's jacket with no shirt on Nobody How do you describe her hair cut for everyone listening? This is neo-Nazi shit She knew about Trump before anybody She's just very androgynous Oh my God

This is tremendous You know what you do now? Go home and watch boomerang Oh She's tremendous in Boomerade When she takes her panties off She throws them to the dude's face At the board meeting

And everybody's like going like this And also you see it. Who's in that movie? Eddie Murphy. Mike Tyson's old wife, the one he beat up. Hallie Berry. Robin Givens. Holly Berry.

Her. The name of the fragrance is like vagina. Because it's her fragrance. And they're like, what do you want it to smell like? And they're all like, we want to smell minty and this. And Grace Jones has a mink on fucking throwing heat. And the guy goes, so what do you think it should smell like? And she just looks at the...

like scientists and she goes, let me tell you what it's just smell like. And she gets up and digs deep and picks up her long black legs and takes her little fun and goes over to the scientist and puts the underwear right in his face. And he's sitting there with the underwear at his face. And he doesn't even want to touch the underwear. He goes like this. And he goes, I quit. Right?

Oh, no. So he gets up. He goes this way. Eddie Murphy catches them. Now they're trying to see what to do with the underwear. Uh-huh. Okay? So somebody, Holly Barry.

How many possible options were there being? Holly Berry pushes the underwear away. Uh-huh. And some other guy takes it and passes it on to this guy. And that guy takes it and passes it on to this guy. And also, remember when we were kids, the seven-up guy? Uh-huh. The young cola, the black, big black dude that was bald.

He appeared in a couple James Bond movies. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. He took the underwear, sniffed him, looked around and put him his pocket. Felicia, always a pleasure to have you on. Thank you very much. Friday night, 6 o'clock. 6 o'clock Friday night at the Regal Theater.

Come see my movie Purve starring Susanna Lee has Philippia Sparzer, Joey Beezas, Paul. Paul Preventza, Emily B. Gordon. Go on down there. I think it's a nice place around there. You can eat. So get down there early. Take your wife out to eat. bring a glove with you in case you want to bang on the movie theater

in case it takes you back you know what you got to do just don't sit next to me there was another place I went to that shocked me as a young man I went to a play and this happens to a lot of people and this isn't talked about either but this happens a lot I never even spoke about it I'm talking about it now am I affected by it no but looking back it's a reality one night we're hanging on on a Saturday night what are we doing tomorrow I'm gonna watch football we're in

We were in high school. I had dropped out, but these guys were seniors. I had Sunday nights off. And one night some guy goes, why don't we go to whatever it was? I don't know what the name of the town was, maybe 20 minutes away. And on Sunday nights, like, an old movie theater, they showed porn. And I'm like, absolutely. I never went to a porno movie theater.

I haven't seen a porn in years. There's a bunch of guys that get drinking there. You could drink. You can smoke dope and there. The word on the street. Let's go down there. I thought I was going to go down there It'd be like mixed

Fucking dark creepy The floors were sticky And you'd go in the bathroom Every time you go in the bathroom The same guy would pop up to you In the urinal And he glanced over

At your dick for a little while And then he'd like bump into you To make believe like you So you could see your dick In full view of you Felicia tremendous Yeah You don't know what it's like To get bumped by a guy

To see your dick Did you negotiate? with him? No, he just ran into the bathroom and then he bangs it out in there. Oh, really? Like it was one of those guys. Oh, really? He would just live. That was his kink. That was his kink. And you know where else I saw that? San Francisco

Airport in 1985. Oh, really? Like a congressman like how they do. It was wide open then. There was no think of an airport with no TSA. There was nothing. Yeah. If Felicia was flying, I could walk her up to the gate in those days. Yeah. That's how wide open flying was.

So I've never figured I was stuck in an airport in San Fran for like seven hours, SFO. And I saw a guy in the morning that I thought was looking at my dick. You're popping there, and he pops right up next to it. But then I washed my hands left. About three hours later, I see the same guy in the fucking bathroom. I see him walking the bathroom. Let me see what this guy's doing.

Sure enough, I go up there, Jesus, he fell for the bait. He comes next to me and he stands next to me, and he's peeing. He ain't peeing. He's out of pee. He's just looking at my dick. And then finally when I went to wash my hands I watched him in the mirror And I watched how he would

It was fucking tremendous He would go in a urinal, jerk off Go back, look at the man's dick Jerk off He would do it like three times Then go get something to drink And that's the moral of the story That's the moral of the story

I see you motherfuckers Lexington Kentucky Thursday, Friday, Saturday What's up dog? Why? Do we want? Yeah. No worry, but I had this. Don't stop me.

I'm talking to these people. I'll see you this weekend in Lexington, Kentucky. And don't forget, there's the weekend of your life, all right? You got fucking baseball. You got the Yankees against Houston. What? Tomorrow? No, Friday.

Yeah, they're taking a day off tomorrow. Tomorrow, they're flying at Houston. That means Friday and Sunday. Or Friday and Saturday, they're going to play in Houston. And then you got the Dodgers. Check the Dodgers score. What's going on with the Dodgers? Let's see.

And football's kicking off. And football's kicking off. Listen to me. Basketball. Basketball's on right now. If you're going to make some dore meat, this is the time to do it. Why make picks and tell your buddies you went April if you ain't going to win no fucking money, all right? If you're watching the game, it's time to make money.

Oh. What happened? Chicago's won three to two. So it's... Perfect. It's three to one. Anyway, my book is the industry-leading website that hooks you up with all your betting needs. and with their great odds, fast payouts and decades of expertise,

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Oh shit. There you go. Enjoy it, you filthy animals. Bang one out in the bathroom. Me so horny. Me so horny. I got the black book for a freak. Oh, rocked.