The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #536 - B-Real

Episode Date: November 22, 2017

B-Real, a rapper, known from his two groups Cypress Hill and Prophets of Rage, and the man behind B-RealTV, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: ... MyBookie.ag - Join now and MYBookie.ag will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus of your first deposit. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Check out the Onnit Black Friday Sale with up to 30% off. Recorded live on 11/21/2017.  

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Starting point is 00:01:49 Get yourself for Separito. And guess what? But in church, and I'm going to give you 10% off. It's that fucking easy. Take that motherfucking mulee. Oh shit. November 23rd, the day the devil was buried at sea. Ah, oh shit.
Starting point is 00:02:44 That's right. This is with black people with black people. Listen to this shit. Oh shit. Some cock suckers. Here we go. Standing on the top. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Little Rick James. Temptation seat. Are you fucking kidding me or what? That's Rick James, slinging dick and banging white chicks three at a time. him up in Buffalo, you know what I'm saying? He'd made the temptations watch. They were too old and there's no Viagra. Be real in the motherfucking house.
Starting point is 00:03:42 He made the temptation, sang. Can you believe they? Just sing, motherfuckers. I'm going to fuck these white hos. You just sing and shit. And do a lot of coke. Could you imagine if he was alive how many accusations would have been coming out? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:54 He would have been in a cell right next to Harvey. It seems that's happening with, you know, like big wigs right now. You know, they haven't got like so many of the... the artists that aren't as like popping as the ones they've been going after. Like, you know, Kevin Spacey, that's like a mega superstar actor when you think about it. But he had that look like on his face that he'd been sucking a little bit. Right? Like he'd been sucking like 18-year-old dicks since he was like 25.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say that. But that little confidence level to it, a little fucking, what's that shit that white people have when they get that white privilege? Privilege. Privilege. I suck a young dick. Entitlement. Yeah. He's entitled to me.
Starting point is 00:04:35 He would walk around. I only suck 16-year-old dick. He's entitled to it. That's right. I don't talk to 24-year-olds. That milk is tart. I suck that sweet milk like cereal milk. That filthy fuck him.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Son of a bitch. And the secret guard in the devil. The guy that cracks me the most is the Democrat, the dude that's. running for me. Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah, dude. And Alabama is it? You know, I love you like a brother, right? Right. And likewise. When I moved to Bolden 85, I had $10,000. I had 18.
Starting point is 00:05:14 I just settled. Ssuits some guy. I put 10 in the bank and I walked around what ate like Johnny bananas. I went through it in a month, right? Because that's what we do. We went through it in a month and pizza slices. Who eats $8,000 with pizza slices? It's a lot of pizza. And nickel bags. So how I got a job? So I went through this mall with a fake credit card. And I I mean, I banged everybody out. But doing them, when I was robbing the fucking mall, I applied for a job then. I got the job.
Starting point is 00:05:37 So they fingered me a month later. I robbed every place in there and never got banned from the mall. This motherfucker was hitting on so many 16-year-old chicks. They banned them from the mall. And wait until they start getting the reports on the roller skating rink. Yeah. See, he killed all those bitches. Because I know that motherfucker was roller skating on Sundays to fucking out in John's songs.
Starting point is 00:05:57 And that's crazy because one of the law enforcement around there, you know, said, yeah, you know, he's a known, he's known to talk to underage girls, blah, blah, blah. It's a common, it's common knowledge. And, you know, that's law enforcement saying that about your ass, you know, when you're running for office down there. You know what's crazy? When I was 18, I hated talking to underage girls. When I was 16, I hated talking to 16-year-old girls. Do you know that?
Starting point is 00:06:29 Like, I liked older women. I always like talking to a little older. Even a couple of years at that age makes a big difference. It does. Like, that's why when I see guys at a 50 date and a 22-year-old, what the fuck can you be talking about? Whistles? Yeah, what do you have in common? After you fuck them 20 times and you spill milk on them and, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:48 And then a poor girl that's 20, she's blown a kid in high school. His milk tastes like going to Kevin Spacey's nephews. And then she decides to suck a dick as old and ratty as mine. And that's like skim milk, which is. fucking goat cheese in it and fucking vomit mchunks. What do you do? Do you stick around and take that abuse? You know, I would imagine, depending on the pocket book, you know, some stick around.
Starting point is 00:07:15 But if it's a broke motherfucker, they're out, boom, out of here. Oh, my God. Good to have you on the show. Good being. Fucking never in my life have I met somebody who's been in more bands. You're the man. This is the truth. Traged, prophets of fire, 10 Puerto Ricans in a knife.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Two Mexicans in a beanie? No, no, no, they're pinga. Well, do you, they're being got. No, no, no, no. And, man, that's a big credit because that means you haven't stopped since God knows when that this all start. Well, you know, our first Cypress Hill album came out in 91. But, you know, we, like, you know, just as enthusiasts as this shit was our hobby,
Starting point is 00:07:57 this is the shit we love. Run DMC was like, you know, the first shit that turned me on to hip hop, really. I mean, there was stuff out before Run DMC, and we learned about that later, but that was the shit. And, you know, just doing it like emulating those guys, we were doing it probably like in 85, 86. But, you know, we turned pro by getting a deal in 1990 and releasing the album in 91. And from there, you know, we just kind of, you know, we were thankful for having. the fucking opportunity because, you know, we didn't know if our shit was going to hit or not.
Starting point is 00:08:33 We knew we had some different shit that was kind of hard to swallow. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, like a brand new porn chick trying to, you know, suck off, what's his name? Harvey Winston.
Starting point is 00:08:49 No, yeah, him, yeah. Or the elephant. Or the elephant fucking, Jeremy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ron Jeremy. He came on here and played the harmonica. I bet he did.
Starting point is 00:09:01 He's a bad motherfucker. He's a cool dude. He's a cool dude. Very cool dude. No, but I'm saying, you know, shit is tough. When you first see Jeremy, what's his name? Ron Jeremy.
Starting point is 00:09:10 When you first see Ron Jeremy, you freeze. You freeze up. You think of Rock Hudson, you think of skinny people and shit. Yeah. You think of all those holes, he busted the assholes.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And you're kind of hesitant to shake his hand. Yeah. And while you're shaking his hand, you're like, there better be Purell in the bathroom. Yeah. Or you better have some fucking.
Starting point is 00:09:27 surgical gloves. Bro, he talked to me in a bank lot one time. Like, you know what I am? That is a cool dude. Who the fucking mind? This is 15 years ago. I go, hey, man, you're a bad motherfucker. And he stopped.
Starting point is 00:09:37 He talked. You think about it, he's a legend in his field. He really is, man. So, you know, like, again, our music. I can't wait until somebody says he sexually harassed him. That's going to be the best. He's like, bah. I had him all, bitch.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Sue me. I sexually harassed him on tape and got paid for it. Yeah. That's crazy. No, no, no, no. It's a different world we live in. Oh, yeah. I'm not even going to put my hand.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Arms around women no more when I take head shots. I decided shoulder to shoulder, like the Marines. Just don't say shit. Yeah, go ahead. Because you never know. I know something you got sued for headlocking people. You know, like when the UFC fighters used to headlock them, two UFC fighters, that's why they're now allowed to headlocking no more in pictures or strangling you and shit.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Hey, man, I just asked for a picture, and now I got this broken fucking neck. But you know what's crazy to me that I've been thinking? I'm 54. I'm a little older. Like everybody says rap started with, let's pretend. I don't even know. Let's just pretend I'm talking out of the line here. The Sugar Hill gang.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Right. That's pretend. Well, they were like, I think, the first to, one of the first to put out a big record. I saw something the other day that blew my mind. I'm going to show you guys real quick. I want you to put on the Fonnie Auster. live from Japan. Ponte dudo.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Okay, this, like, this is what I was thinking about. Like how, okay, let's take, what's the, what's the, the form of music that first started in 83 on the boxes. They used to put boxes out and do the wars and shit. Yeah, that was based off of, you know, the DJ's, like, cool Herc and Grandmaster Flash. What were they doing? They were, wars. Yeah, yeah. And I would spin on my head to spend it.
Starting point is 00:11:27 around and then I would get up and instead of fist fighting like to know it was like they were playing. They were playing. Break dancing. Yes, they were playing breaks while the guys were break dancing. You know, be-boying. Be-boying. Right now one of the best jiu-jitsu schools is
Starting point is 00:11:43 the ones with the ones, the dudes where they were break dancers. Yeah. Where they have a break-dancing school. Those two jihitsu schools, which are 10th planet. Those motherfuckers are killing people. Killing. Because their bodies. What's the name of the song? I have live in Japan. P-O-N-T-D-U-R-O.
Starting point is 00:12:02 This is one of the weirdest things. I just, when I write at night, I put YouTube on, and I put the music on one. I don't really hear the music, but I do. It's just there. And you're writing and you're typing, and you're doing this. It's ambiance. And it's something, and this came wrong right there, the second one.
Starting point is 00:12:19 That's in Africa. Is that okay? Yeah, yeah, that's the one I want to show. Okay. And there's a part here. I see where you're going. But this is beautiful, because, This is 1960-something.
Starting point is 00:12:31 It's not even about the music in this. Let it cue up a little bit. It's about the percussion. It's about the percussionist in what he does. Okay, so the guy is playing bongos with sticks. His name is Roberto Rorena. All right, you see him? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:53 With the fucking Earthwind and Fire suit on? The only Puerto Rican dude with an Earthwind and Fire suit on. That's Ray Barreto. all right and then speed it up a little bit uh lee they start dancing and singing and fucking around and then you got hector lavo there you got ismael river you got an all-star band there in key gone keep going keep going keep going keep going and there's a scene here where the bongo player starts dancing but i want you to see what he's doing right there go Right there.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Click it. Watch what he's doing. This is 1973. Watch what he's doing. Now, I knew this guy well growing up. That's real crazy. My madina in Enzanto was his madalina. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Watch what he's doing, guys. It's 1973. He's already doing this. In Japan, he's doing this. Look at him. In Japan, he was doing this. When was Elvis? compared to this, do you know?
Starting point is 00:14:19 Elvis was, Elvis was killing it here too. Elvis was in... Nobody, I'm talking about like the dancing part. Elvis couldn't do this. No, I'm saying and they went crazy with Elvis on TV.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Yeah, but he couldn't do this. Elvis couldn't even do a jump in chair. He couldn't do that style of dancing, especially not at that year. He was already like, you know. Well, watch this. Go put on Rick James live from Africa, 71. This is, or 73, or 74.
Starting point is 00:14:44 This is before Muhammad Ali fought, uh, One of the big fights. George Foreman. George Foreman, they decided to do a concert for peace. And they got B.B. King and, you know, they got everybody. The Fonnie All-Stars. And they got this guy and that guy.
Starting point is 00:15:01 But the most impressive was Rick James. No, was James Brown. Sorry about that. James Brown. And live, I'm sorry. Fucking Rick James. Rick James is smoking, cracking, buffalo. This one?
Starting point is 00:15:19 The payback, yeah. So this was the concert before the fight. I don't even know how old he is here, but put this on loud. You've got to be in his 30s by here. Maybe 40s. Maybe 40s. This man will make your liver quiver. Now this is Africa.
Starting point is 00:15:41 This is not the Bronx or Los Angeles. This is nowhere. This man will make your bladder. freeze your knee. If you will, let's all welcome the world's godfather of soul. Soul, brother number one, Jay Brown. This guy went from being the
Starting point is 00:16:02 Cape guy to the announcer. Look at this, look at this, Savage. He came out with an an entourage. He was in a box somebody. Look at him. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Again, when black people are black people. Here we go. Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me, guys? Look at his little son's, his bumper, Godfather is called on his fucking stomach.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Collar on his fucking thing, J.B. It's cool. I just wanted to show you, brother. It's a different fucking world out there. And we all came from this. No matter how you call it, look at this shit. This was Michael Jackson. This was Prince. He showed him how?
Starting point is 00:17:06 This was, you know, I just showed you a Spanish dude that nobody's really heard of breakdancing. In 1970, that was maybe 72. Because the funny All-Stars big tapes were Japan, Africa, and they did Yankee Stadium, and the Puerto Ricans danced so much, but that was the first time they ever thought about canceling a baseball game the next day. The field was fucking torn up in the shreds.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Oh, man, that's awesome. And you still tour? Yeah. Now, who do you tour with? every other week. Like every week you do with somebody fucking different. Like, what week are you with the Beatles? The next week you're the sound god. You know, the last year and a half I've been juggling between, you know, Cyprus Hill and Prophets of Rage. And, you know, I'll be on tour one month with this group.
Starting point is 00:18:01 And then next month it'll be with that group and just been going back and forth like that. And it don't stop. You know, fortunately, it's still fun. I still have a passion for music. and creating it and playing it. So, you know, it's fun. You know, especially going from one thing to another, one which is very hip-hop. You know, it transcends hip-hop, like, in terms of, like, our fan base, you know.
Starting point is 00:18:31 They like alternative music. They like the rock and punk and metal shit as well as hip-hop. You know, so it's a different type of energy. But then, you know, you go with the proper. It's of rage and these motherfuckers just like rocking the fuck out. So it's two completely different energies, but it's fun on both ends. It's, you know, sometimes it gets a little bit much because, you know, you're away from home for so long.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And if you, you know, I got a family, so it's kind of hard being away from the family so much. But in terms of, you know, what we've been trying to do with it and, you know, the point we're trying to get across with the music. and then just as artists rocking the fuck out, you know, it's everything is going really well. You know, we've been touring a lot and we're about to, you know, take these next two months off, three months, whatever, and work on some new music for it. As well as we got some Cypress Hill music on deck coming out,
Starting point is 00:19:32 like two albums. A lot of music. You said before the podcast that you're still having fun, and then you said it again, you've been doing it for at least 30 years, it sounds like. it probably even more. Were there times over that 30 years that it wasn't fun that you didn't like it? Well, you know, in this business, it's shark-infested.
Starting point is 00:19:50 So, you know, it's always going to be having its ups and downs because, you know, in the end, you know, you're trying to put your music out there. You're trying to make a living. You're trying to, you know, do what you love and all that stuff. And there's a lot of politics in between all that. It's more than just making an album or a song and then putting it out. And then there's an explosion in you're famous and all this other shit. There's a lot of stuff in between that.
Starting point is 00:20:18 And there's no actual school to teach you the process. You kind of got to learn, you know, hands on, you know, as the steps progress. You know what I mean? Especially in hip hop. And, you know, I wouldn't take nothing back, to be honest with you. You know, the good times and bad times make up what's happening right now, you know, for better, for worse and shit. that and for me I consider you know all that stuff you know that wasn't so great learning experiences as opposed to you know some negative shit where you know to complain about
Starting point is 00:20:54 something because who's going to listen who wants to hear you complain exactly yeah know what I'm saying nobody wants to hear that so if I'm I'm complaining that means I'm bitter about some of the losses I took so you know I'm never bitter about that because the loss is a learning experience if you if you look at it the right way so you know i'm good you know it's helped me all those things help me progress to where i am now which allows me to be in two bands and flip styles the way that you know i'm able to do from one show to the other and from one's creating one style and creating the other with the other guys you know what i mean it all that stuff led up to where I'm at now.
Starting point is 00:21:39 So, you know, you take that if you're passionate about what it is. I mean, it's like going up there and having a routine and some of the routine is hitting and some of it, you know, you need to work on when you go home, right? Or the fucking shit bombs out.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Like, you could say, oh, man, I ain't going back up on the mic. I fucking bombed out. Or you go back and create something else and come back out. and fucking tear their asses up again. You know, it just depends on how much passion you got for it. And, you know, I've always had a lot of passion for music, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:18 before I was even, you know, creating it with my bros, you know. So for me, it's all about that, you know, still loving to do it, taking risks, you know, that normally other people won't take creatively, stuff like that, man. I love shit like that because it's a challenge. Let's be strictly honest here. I pretty much booked a podcast with Lee. Somebody calls me.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I talk to Lee. Lee talks to me. We put his name down and we see where we're at with that person. Right. And it's funny that because of my touring schedule and then I was trying to write a sitcom, Tuesdays were always being rough for me, plus an acting class, plus the baby.
Starting point is 00:23:07 And finally, when I freed up, so many people mentioned you to me. And it was overwhelming until I'd said, let me go down and see what this podcast is about. And from the minute I walked into your studio, you know, what time you got there, you know, your gentleman, the staff you had, I was very taken back by you, by what you were doing. Oh, thanks. I love to talk You know what I'm saying I still got that residue cocaine from 30 years ago
Starting point is 00:23:41 It comes up every once in a while I swear every once in a while And you hit like a cocaine rock Like a corn of fat thing And I can't There's nothing I can say to you Because I'm listening to you And you're exactly on the money
Starting point is 00:23:54 But what I admire by you the most is What happened to the spin doctors? Listen, I'm just acting me What was the song they sang? Dear, they adore you. Now, come on, baby, this time. Yeah, that's karaoke now. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:10 So if you... Now, I am not putting down to spend doctors. No. By no mean. They had big hits. They had big hits. And then whatever happened, one guy became a carpenter, the singer-hated, the piano player. You're the type of dude that reinvents himself every 90 days.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And then when that's how you keep yourself. fresh. I had to go to my agent two months ago and go, listen, I don't want to hear about another date on the road again. He's like, what are you talking about? You're selling out. That's not the point. That's not the point. See, that's what you motherfuckers are wrong. And then, yeah, you make a little change, and then you buy a house, and guess what? Now you're in debt. Now you're doing something that you used to love, but it became a job. When you choose an art
Starting point is 00:25:00 as a career, you want to get up tip-top, Magoo, and attack it every day. It's a fine line. I tell you,
Starting point is 00:25:08 and I know you're going to tell me, when it was me, you, this dude and fat fucking Joe in a garage with no money, those are the best times we had when we were just rapping, and it was just us.
Starting point is 00:25:19 We were making some good music. Also, something came in that was called money and pressure, and we adjusted, we adapt, that's what we do. But it fucks up the main thing of what you do.
Starting point is 00:25:30 doing. What you're doing, you're not letting the money get in the way. You're switching it up. You're switching it up. I'm sitting here in awe because I have a hard time raising a daughter, loving my wife, because if you know if you don't give your wife love, then that's a complete different thing. I had to take it for a massage yesterday. 60 bucks to Chinese people. One rubs her, one rubs me and we whole hands together. They put rocks on your neck. But you know what? It puts a smile on your face. And that's an hour and a half of my time. I got the podcast and then you gotta go on the road right we don't have I don't have all that shit I wish I had the time and energy you know we make a road we I don't know where you
Starting point is 00:26:10 live and I don't give a fuck but you gotta get on that four oh five today oh yeah when they put a picture on Twitter oh yeah of the 405 that that's that's every day though that's every fucking day that's serious so you go to visit somebody is for fucking hours yeah the other that's just getting there that's just getting there that's just getting there two days of Friday. I had a meeting and on the way back Lee called me. He goes, how'd go? I go, we could have done it on the phone. I had to go to Woosha. We could have done it on the phone. This is what we have Skype. And this is why I admire you because you find time to wait a second, not just tour, people. If all I had to do every weekend was go out and say the same
Starting point is 00:26:56 jokes I've been saying for 10 years and nobody would say nothing, that's what I would do and it'd be easy. But I know you're the type of dude that wants to create. You want to create. And when you want to create, you have to find time to create on top of being a dad, writing,
Starting point is 00:27:12 business, because this is a whole business. Now you've got the setup, which I admire again. You've got 10 shows going out of there. You know, you're smoking, your employees are giggling. Everybody's high at 8.30 in the morning. They're eating donuts.
Starting point is 00:27:28 They got tacos. Fucking donuts. You know, I mean, as an artist's point of view, you have the perfect artist's life, which is what used to happen in this city as far as we were concerned. See, as a comedian, what you did was Be Real got a show. Be Real called two weeks ago. You said he met you at a restaurant. He wants you to be a garbage man in the show.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Be Real's only give you six episodes out of 13 every year. That means for fucking eight weeks, I'm not going to do dick. Two times, yeah. For six weeks, I'm just going to focus on a Be Real show. What I got to call Be Real and tell Be Real Real, and you're going to shoot me out Tuesday because I got a gig in Philadelphia on Thursday. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:28:11 I'm not going to be effective on your show, and I'm not going to be effective in Philadelphia because I'm thinking about both things. Right. Let me just focus on Be Real Thing. Kill that shit. So the next season, that motherfucker brings me back for eight shows a season. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:25 So you had that breathing. In today's comedic world, you don't have that no more. Yeah. They found out they can make money with you. Why fuck with the nest? Yeah. Keep them on the road. Keep him on the road.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Keep him on the road until he stopped selling tickets. Now you're 48 and you have no acting experience. Yeah, when you oversaturate, man. You can't do it. You can't do shit. You got a fucking, I'm a heavier surgery in a couple weeks. I mean 60 days I can't go on the fucking rope. My age is going crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. This is what being an artist is, man. That for 30 days, you go into a Denny's, you get the waitress of Finn, and you go, don't let no buddy go back to that section back there. I'm going to be there all day. I'm going to have eggs.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I'm going to have the pot roast. I'm going to shit blood. But I'm going to stick it out of it every day until five and write. It's really weird, the creative process. Everybody has a different process. Everybody has a different process. And I know if I overstocked you a business, how the fuck are you going to write lyrics? Yeah, it's, you know, it's tough, juggling, you know, and, you know, and, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:25 And it's sort of like when it's all going well, you have to keep it going. So you got to keep everything fucking in the air and keep it balanced. For me, like I said, I love challenges. And in terms of that challenge and the reinventing myself through different projects, different groups, different albums, or whether it's solo or with somebody, you know, that's something Buster Rhyme talked to me about like in the mid-90s when he had left one group to do his solo shit and it was tremendously different
Starting point is 00:30:05 and, you know, he pulled me to the side one day and he said, hey man, you know, you should, in his Buster Rime voice, yo, yo, your son, you need to be constantly doing shit and reinventing yourself, B, you know, do shit different. I know you got this group, but do other things. And that was a bad impression of him, but, you know, because I'm not really on my game right now.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I usually do bust the rhyme's voice pretty good, but today I shit the pot. But, you know, he gave me that advice. And I kind of was hesitant at that time because, you know, I was all about Cypress Hill and said, well, you know, this is where my 100% focus is. Why would I, you know, why would I fuck that? up by going and doing some solo shit and, you know, just doing some crazy shit when things are going so well. You know, I was very focused, like you said, instead of having all these different things going on,
Starting point is 00:31:05 I was very much all about the group. And years later, that's when I started thinking, you know, right, well, I've done a lot of shit with the group. Let me start doing some different things here and there. and I did a couple of mixtapes. Then I did a solo album and, you know, went back and started doing some group shit. And then I created another group with the exhibit and this cat named Demrick called Serial Killers.
Starting point is 00:31:36 And we did a hardcore hip-hop album under that group for two albums. And then I partnered up after that with Burner, which we did three albums called Pro Bition. Well, there were two EPs in one album and, you know, all that while I was doing another solo album that I gave away, which was called The Prescription. And, you know, I just kept, you know, writing and writing for different things, you know, doing collaborations with other people. And just keeping the buster rhyme shit in mind at that point. Like, okay, if I'm not going to, if I'm going to do something away from Cyprus, I don't want to do anything. like I do with Cyprus on this other shit.
Starting point is 00:32:23 So I'm going to be something completely different on this. Something's a different side of me on this shit as opposed to what people are used to seeing with me with Cyprus. So, you know, I just took that from one group to another and even with profits. Like the way I'm dressed up there with profits is completely different than what I do with Cyprus. And, you know, that's to have that distinction and to have something different and, you know,
Starting point is 00:32:56 and to make people ask why. Because, you know, people are always going to be like, well, why is he, why is, like, his look over here is so extreme. You know, but that's the thing, you know, you reinvent yourself and you make people fucking ask questions and boom, you've done your fucking job, you know what I mean? So I'm just used to, like, taking these things on and giving, and giving, everything a different kind of different kind of feel to it so it's not a regurgitated
Starting point is 00:33:26 thing of what we do with Cyprus because I mean you know if I'm going to do that I could just stay doing the shit I do with Cyprus and keep it's just you've worked with everybody in the business even our other boy, Danny Brown I mean you've done
Starting point is 00:33:41 salute to Danny Brown I like Danny Brown he's a good dude and it's just you continue to grow you don't stop you don't stop There's no, there's no. And it's not like, you ever notice when a dude is progressing and he tries to act young? That's not you at all. I could see it when you're singing.
Starting point is 00:34:01 When you were kid, you like Spanish music. Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Let me open the door before they call 911. I'm sure I have 18 texts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, before they call 911. Well, Loso is gone. I actually did one of the other shows.
Starting point is 00:34:15 I did, We Don't Smoke the Same. Oh, you did? We Don't Smoke the Same. And, like, that was even before I met you. you, like, there's a lot of people in this town who don't like to promote people around them. And what I really liked was E-Zone and said he worked for you and, like, got, got, got to get to do the show now. So it's like, and then our other friend, Ross dude, we've known, I've known for years. 18 months, two years.
Starting point is 00:34:36 He's been with you for years, I'm pretty sure. So it's, it's just nice to see people who act loyally and are nice in this town. Oh, well, you know, when we started Be Real TV, you know, and, and it was called the 420 show. as opposed to Dr. Green Thumb show, we changed it later because, you know, I said, fuck it. You know, there's a lot of 420 shows. There's not a Dr. Green Thum show on Dr. Green Thumb, fuck it. So I switched the name. And it started maybe with six people, maybe less than that.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I think it was four people. Myself, a couple of DJs and, you know, my partner in the network. And, you know, we started off with the one show. just because I realized the importance of a platform because I used to do a radio show on 92.3, the beat, called The Soul Assassin Show, which is different than the show that DJ Mugs does on Sirius now. But, you know, this was in the kind of late 90s.
Starting point is 00:35:38 And, you know, we did some big things on the radio. So, you know, when I left radio due to politics, you know, I was searching for, for a platform, the streaming became the thing, and I got into that. And little by little, I just, you know, as we build our own platform in the streaming world, I started recruiting other shows, other people, and, you know, some of our staff started as people in the chat room, like, that we would have this back and forth engagement. Like, so our guy, we got a guy called Shiki.
Starting point is 00:36:16 I always called Shiki. Yeah, Shiki. chicadelic we call them but at first you know his his name in the chat room was iron chic and him and i would have some crazy exchanges in the chat room talking major shit to each other but on some joke shit but like on some really foul joke shit you know what i mean because you know we that's how we interacted with our chat room we would call it the freezer because it was based off of insults you know we just insult the fuck out of each other they'd insult us we'd insult them, but it was all, you know, love shit. We realized that sheik was a word smith. You know, he,
Starting point is 00:36:55 he could, you know, he could hang with the fucking best of them. We invited him down to the studio and he became, you know, a writer for the site in the beginning. Then he became an operator and then, you know, eventually, you know, part of the show. And with EZone, he started as an intern, you know, doing like stories and shit like that for the site. as well because our site does stream and blog and you know eventually we asked him to do you know to co-host the show with us be up there at the table when we felt he was ready and then we gave him his own show you know via the live platform and our YouTube so we gave him two different shows as you know he's been around and you know he earned his way up and then ross dude started as an intern went into you know
Starting point is 00:37:47 an operator position and now he's creating content through his alley review so you know we we try to step everybody up in some former another knells started up with us as a DJ with DJ Nells and uh you know he became one of the co-hosts of the show and you know he coordinates the smoke box and stuff like that so you know all of our guys have been with us for a long time so we just try to create roles for everybody as we go along, man. You know, sometimes there's no job description coming into the situation. There ain't no job description.
Starting point is 00:38:25 So it's like you get in where you fit. The fire alarm finally go off? No, I'm pretty sure something's jack hammering at 8.30 at night. Yeah. You looked at me like you thought I was farting when you heard that first. No, that's the fire alarm, guys. Hysterical. I told you. The fire department was going to be here.
Starting point is 00:38:42 I don't know. I don't give a fuck. We don't know nothing. We haven't been here in hours. Yeah. Is that them coming right now? I see the red lights. Oh, no. What are you going to do, stand in my head and spinning nipples? This went into a different office.
Starting point is 00:38:56 I'm sorry, guys. I don't give a fuck. That's a first for everybody. It looks like we'll be moving into the studio. Come on. Oh, there goes. It's off. Oh, you're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:39:09 God damn it. How do you know? It just went off. It just went off. They shut it off. They noticed the building is not on fire. They'll be coming here to do the walkthrough. Hi, guys.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Everything okay? Yes, sir. Everything is fine. There's nothing to see here. There's cop cars out there in fire departments and shouldn't we? Should we put away some of this? Fuck, no. We live like doctors.
Starting point is 00:39:31 We got lust. We got rules. We had an incent. There ain't nobody out there. What the fuck is wrong with you? You have my heartbeat on my chest. We had an incente problem officer. Your heartbeat out of your chest.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Oh, yeah, man. Oh, my God. This is way better than when the notary report. public knocked on the door. You know, it's crazy how they always tell you to reinvent yourself, you know, in this career. It didn't seem like you reinvented yourself.
Starting point is 00:39:59 That's not the word for what you did. You explored. Right. That's a complete, different fucking animal. But see, there's somebody out there. Something's going on out there. Should I turn my phone on to see if the landlord? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:40:14 It's like people with weapons. Oh, my God. Somebody's out there. I don't give a phone. Fuck, we got weapons, we got weapons, we got weapons, Jesus Christ, John. Yeah, I guess somebody's out there. What's the video?
Starting point is 00:40:40 Do you guys remember when we used to smoke dope in that one building? And the black lady begging on the door that time, and we were getting high in there, hysterical. We didn't even get high in there. We weren't even getting high. It was Felipe, everybody, Felipe went, going crazy.
Starting point is 00:40:53 And then we were in there. Another time, it was the earthquake that time. At 7 in the morning. With Rick Ramos? On fucking camera. the fucking earthquake. Only on a podcast, brother. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:41:03 And then during the week, so you come home from a tour, I'm telling you, because this shit baffles me. Ron White's 60. Ron White goes on the road every weekend, Friday, and Saturday. Like nothing. There are people, if I go on the road,
Starting point is 00:41:18 four weeks in a row, I wake up, I don't know what the fuck I am. The other day, when I came back from New York, that Monday, I took a nap after Jiu-Jitsu. And I went to bed at 2, 1-30, and I woke up at 5. I honestly didn't know if it was five in the morning or five in the afternoon until my wife came in and said, come on, we got to go pick up the baby.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Like, it just throws me off completely. So I got to get my shit together. I got to get my game up like Be Real or take vitamins or sleep more or do some shit. Yeah, man. Truthfully, I train for this shit. It's hard, man. You get older, you know, and you do a show at the pace that we do. do it, you know, that our music is at?
Starting point is 00:42:01 Because when you think about it, I don't think people do the math on this, but, you know, certain groups when they do shows, especially with Golden Age hip-hop shows, they try to keep the music moving and up-tempo. So a lot of the songs are about 100 beats per BPM and sometimes faster. And a lot of the songs that, like, stir people up are at that tempo. so when you got to do an hour and a half, that's like cardio. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:42:31 That's a lot of words you're spitting out there and moving around. And, you know, as you get older, you better be active in doing shit to be able to do those type of songs at the highest level that you can't. You know what I mean? And for me, you know, for a second,
Starting point is 00:42:51 I was just kind of letting go and doing whatever and I gained a whole lot of weight. but I was still doing the shows but I you know given 100% with all that weight but the way that I felt after the show was fucking crazy
Starting point is 00:43:08 I had to jump in buckets of ice and shit and it was tough you know what I mean so I thought to myself I'm gonna keep doing this and this shit still gonna be fun and not painful I gotta take better care of myself and I started you know eating better
Starting point is 00:43:24 and you know working out you know aside from just doing the shows and stuff like keep inactive so that i could do those shows so that i could endure the the hour and a half you know and then when i started doing the profits of rage shit you know i had i realized that i had to step up the workouts because those shows are even harder than than the cypress shows just because the intensity of the songs are you know um they're on a different level energy driven yeah yeah yeah you're different songs. Okay, so trip this out.
Starting point is 00:43:58 You know, I geeked out on this, right? You know, I wear my, I watch and shit. And, you know, that thing has an app that counts your steps and calories and all this sort of bullshit, right? So it'll count your steps and lay it out in miles. So, you know, I did a Cypress show at an hour and a half, and it came to about four miles something, you know, four point something miles. Right? did a Prophets of Raid show at an hour and a half, and it was like eight miles.
Starting point is 00:44:30 That's how much, you know, more movement, how much more energy there was on that show. And that's not taking away anything with Cyprus. It's just it's a different sort of body language, different sort of energy, different kind of movement. And, man, I lost a lot of weight on that Prophets of Rage story. It's funny. When I was involved, way before I got into comedy guy,
Starting point is 00:44:53 This was maybe the beginning of comedy. I was friends with this dude, and he worked at the University of Colorado, the Denver campus, in the music department. And what his specialty was, Cypress Hill was going on tour. They have a choreographer. Told you the fire department's in.
Starting point is 00:45:21 But he was... Oh, no, that's the name, bro. But he would come in to clean up your movements. So we were eating dinner one day. We were friends, not dinner even over a table. We were at my friend's restaurant because he was in the halfway house for a while. I was in the halfway house and the rest of the guy I got.
Starting point is 00:45:39 And when he told us what he did, I nearly died. Like I'm like, so tell me this again? He goes, this guy. And at the time, I don't remember. But his biggest client that I was there when she was in town before the tour started
Starting point is 00:45:57 was Janet Jackson. Really? Nice. And he told me right out. He goes, you gotta remember one thing about these people. They're normal people. He goes, three months before the tour starts, I fly out to L.A.
Starting point is 00:46:14 I meet with their trainer and I explain some of the movements and the endurance because those tours, there's movement. You know, it's like your shit. Yeah, they dance a lot. They dance a lot. And he goes, well, celebrities don't take it seriously.
Starting point is 00:46:29 So Janet would show up, 10 pounds overweight, and the tour's a week away. She goes, here's the funny thing. Then in the beginning of the tour, and everybody knows this, 70% of the vocals are lip sync because of cardio. You can't do the whole thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:45 By two 60 days in, she's a, you know what I'm saying? She's doing all her own shit. And you think of all that. And I still remember signing with this agent. and, bro, I had an hour, you know what I'm saying? But it was an hour of just material. Yeah. And I still remember going, I'm headlining, but I ain't headlining.
Starting point is 00:47:07 And it took me like a year to learn how to headline. To get the chops for headlines. And when I start a headline, listen, bro, I'm always doing something. Four days a week, I walk, I throw kettle bells, I go to Jitsu, I swim. When I do two shows on a Friday night, bro, when I get back to my hotel, room, it's like I got beat up by 10 fucking white belts. From my hips down,
Starting point is 00:47:30 I could feel, and then I got to take two of those, Tylenol, not the PMs, the regular Tylenol. And it's so weird how you have to get into touring shape. Yeah. And if you eat shit, you're dead.
Starting point is 00:47:45 If you drink, you're dead. You know, you're not 22 no more. So you drink a bottle of tequila. When you wake up at 9, you're like, It doesn't get any easier. It's fucking wild. How you read about it. The reason why you get partly into your field,
Starting point is 00:48:02 especially in the beginning, is for the party. Yeah. And then after you do two or three tours living there, you go, wait a second. This ain't the way to fucking do this. I got to chop something out. The women got to go. The powder got to go.
Starting point is 00:48:17 The dudes who have the powder got to go. Everybody got to fucking go. Everybody got to go. It gets heavy, man. you know because what what what you have available to you at that point is whatever you want and you will indulge in it if the wrong motherfucker's around you know and that's that's the thing and then that shit starts wearing tearing on your fucking body adds years to it and you know then you're spending time after that trying to recover from that shit and uh you know i think if you
Starting point is 00:48:51 take care of yourself, obviously you give yourself more years and, you know, you're doing yourself a favor at that point. But at this point, you know, like if you're still as a, as a so-called golden age rapper, or golden era hip-hop rapper, I should say, you know, a lot of us still do a lot of shows, you know, not just Cyprus, but a lot of cats from that time. And what you see now is a lot of these guys are are now training getting in shape like look at red man for instance you know he trains all the time he's a fitness fucking junkie but really that's to you know for his health and to be able to do those shows on the highest level that fat joe ain't fat joe no more yeah he slimmed out too i mean you know everybody's more or less taking care of themselves a little bit
Starting point is 00:49:44 better than the generation before him and i think you're going to see more of that and that's good man you know because there wasn't as much education on how to take care of yourself eating right and the right workouts for you know different people because everybody there everybody's body and you know responds to something different you know so well the first channel road you don't know your boundaries and people inviting you this shit and you're eating like a savage you're uh you're doing drugs you're drinking you're consuming consuming and you're waking up for radio which Let me tell you something. If you have drugs, women, shows the worst thing on everything that, if you don't do,
Starting point is 00:50:26 it really makes you fall apart at sleep. I didn't know this while I got older and I got sleep at me. And they were like, you have no idea. You sleep six hours. Yeah, you sleep, but you don't recover. You don't recover mentally or physically. Three, four nights of that shit. You're forgetting your lyrics up on stage.
Starting point is 00:50:45 You know what I'm saying? Because you're not sharp. You're not getting in full sleep, yeah. You got to sleep. The working out makes you sharper, putting your pen on the fucking piece of paper. It all helps out. It's weird how my life is. I've been doing 20 weeks a year, 20, 2025 plus the last five years, Lee.
Starting point is 00:51:04 And finally I go, you know what, I got to slow it down a little bit this year. Get my ear fixed from the flying. Yeah. I used to swim in the pools and the water stays in there. Then I can't fucking hear for four fucking days. Then I got equilibrium. I got nausea. I don't need that shit.
Starting point is 00:51:22 You're doing a New Year's Eve show? Not that I know of, I mean, we used to do them in New York City once upon a time, but then we shifted over to doing Halloween. But it would be cool to do a show on fucking New Year's Eve. Just, you know, the right scenario, I guess.
Starting point is 00:51:42 But, yeah, we haven't played on New Year's Eve since. Fuck, I can't. I can't even remember. It's been so long. Now, who do you go into the studio with next? Is it Cyprus or? Well, you know, right now we're finishing mixes on Cyprus's two albums right now. Muggs is finishing the mixes on the album that he produced. And then there's another one that was produced by another producer.
Starting point is 00:52:10 And he's in the middle of mixing those songs. So, you know, right now we're in, uh, we're in, uh, finesse. finish up mode. But so the next time I'm in the studio to like create some new shit is with profits of rage in the next couple months. We're going to start working on another
Starting point is 00:52:30 album. And I'll just be flooded with music next year. Yeah. You're an impressive dude, man. To juggle all that shit and calls from your agents and lawyers and that drives me up a fucking wall.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah, you know, everybody tries to pull you a different way, man, but you know, you kind of got to stay the course that you want to be on. And, you know, fortunately, I got two bands with bandmates that are very understanding, cool dudes to be around, like, good people, funny as hell. Who's in Prophets of Rage? Prophets of Rage is Tom Morello, Chuck D., Tim Comerford. That's right. That's right. Brad Wilk and DJ Lord and myself. And that's two guys from Public Enemy, which is DJ Lord and Chuck D.
Starting point is 00:53:26 and Rage Against a Machine. Three guys from Rage Against the Machine, Timmy C., Brad Wilk and Tom Ruello and myself from Cy. My Tom Morello story, what was on sunset next to coffee bean on Fairfax? Not now. Now it's a burger place. Before that, it was something different. Maybe it was a Mexican joint. It was something fucked up there.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Yes, it was. It was a burrito joint. Well, those California burrito joints. I'm talking 2001 guys. I used to cop on Fairfax Reefer. So I would walk over there and then be hungry and go to that, whatever it was. I'm sitting outside one day. and there he was.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Tom Morello by himself eating. And on the way I threw in the garbage, I don't bother people. He said hello to me. And I go, you what the fuck I think I am? Was my smoking too much weed? He goes, no, it's me. I'll meet you.
Starting point is 00:54:30 And that was it. Nice guy. Cool dude. I didn't ask him for a picture. You know me, though. I want to take picture. I don't want to borrow him. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:38 That's the thing about him. When they're fucking eating, I don't want to do it. He was just sitting there in the middle of biting. Yes. Yes, it was a burrito place because I used to go and then get the meat, the long meat tacos and shit. I was 418. Long meat? No, no, it wasn't like a chain.
Starting point is 00:54:53 It was like a chain. Before that whole thing became what it was. It really doesn't matter. I was just telling my boy here. I bumped into him nice one time. He was a fucking gentleman. No, he's a good guy. He don't mind taking pictures for the fans.
Starting point is 00:55:07 You know, he don't turn anybody down. That's what I like about these guys. guys, they'll take the time for fans. Sometimes with the blue penners, you know, they give those guys a hard time. They'll make him work for it. What's my name? If you don't know my name, I'm not signing shit like that, you know? I'm not really familiar with the music industry. For like the last 10 years of the comedy industry, they're doing a lot of self-releasing and public. Do you put out this stuff by yourself? Are you on and out, like a label or? I put out the prescription stuff by myself. You know, it was just, I put it up on, I believe it was live mixtape.com and dappiff
Starting point is 00:55:54 and let it be shared out from there and then put it on the SoundCloud and did that. So, yeah, you know, we did it 100% independent and gave it out 100% for free. You know, in terms of doing an independent album that I sold, I did one with. duck down records called Smoke and Mirrors many years back and that was my one and only like endeavor in doing a solo album and selling it you know like with with some of the music as of late I've just given it out
Starting point is 00:56:30 and you know in terms of the hip-hop shit but I figured you know man I've been in the game for 20 25 years and at the time I was doing these mixtape this particular mixtape which was called the prescription it wasn't even a mix tape it was an album I just gave it out for free I thought you know I've been in this game for for this long let me let me give the fans something special you know that they don't have to pay for and it's just one of those things where you know we gave them free music and it worked out for me a lot of people love that shit and you know I made videos for proper like any album
Starting point is 00:57:13 any other album and uh you know i did many shows off off of those songs and stuff like that so it you know i managed to to do some solo work in there and uh mostly you know i've been about the groups but uh you know like i say you know i don't mind juggling i don't mind the challenge you got balls with steel brother and listen that's what it takes that's what it takes it's not that even nobody's saying no to you. And, you know, it's not like your Atlanta's Morris said. You put out a song, the thing bombed, now you come back
Starting point is 00:57:52 singing top ten. And he scratched my back and fuck me in a movie theater. You know what I'm saying? No. It's not that. Are those lyrics to the song? Whatever the fuck they are. Close enough. And you came in my mouth and you closed your eyes.
Starting point is 00:58:09 And you know, every time she scratched your name, I hope you, I hope feel it. I hope you feel it while I'm here to tell Harvey whatever the fuck. To remind
Starting point is 00:58:24 Harvey, huh? This is a reminder. You didn't get away, cocksucker. You might be in rehab but when you got out of him firmly a statement. Oh yeah. You think he's getting off of that just because he did rehab? He's trying to, obviously.
Starting point is 00:58:39 First off, you can't get in a gym. That's the oldest fucking trick in the book. Me and my buddies were pulling that one in 84. You get busted for two ounces of blow. You make bail. You go
Starting point is 00:58:54 to your house, you hug your mother. You do one last line and you go to the nearest rehab, man. You tell them to smuggle you in Coke. If they give you you ways, you stick to it. You get a Bible. You go to church. You put a fucking camera on you. You have people
Starting point is 00:59:10 follow you and take pictures of you. That is the oldest scam in the book. It's like right now, I go out with Be Real and Lee Syed. Me and me, we're three in a car. At the light, we make a light, and some guy says something to us, he pulls a gun out, Lee Syedat has a gun, he shoots a guy dead, the guy shoots Be Real and the leg. I take the gun from Lee, I shoot another guy dead. Guess what happens?
Starting point is 00:59:37 I fake a heart attack. I don't know nothing until us three can get our stories together. You know what I'm saying? and you fake What about that team from Boogie Nights? Which one? With the guy I'm not going crazy, am I?
Starting point is 00:59:52 The guy who ran the stereo store. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You fake a heart attack for three days. He took the money and just ran. You always fake a heart attack and it gives you 72 hours to come up with the thing.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Your attorney sits at the door and I call Be Real on the bat phone. Not the line line, but the Bat, bat, bat, bat. And then Be Real tells me, no, I shot the guy, the guy's got your phone. fingerprints and then I come back and I don't know nothing.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Brio got shot and he fell on me and I was holding the gun the gun must have gotten fired. But before the cops came I put alcohol on my hand to eliminate the Illuminati. You always, you know, they go into the, they do the obvious, which makes them seem even more. I mean, he's buried. He's done. He's done because he left a trail of paperwork. Right. He's left a horrible trail of paperwork.
Starting point is 01:00:43 He did destruction That's Undestructible But it's the way Of the world You play with fire You know what I'm saying You follow me though
Starting point is 01:00:57 You did this the old American way A lot of people come here They're naive They team up with somebody Next thing you know They're telling you your dog To be in this rap group You gotta carry a key over to Denver
Starting point is 01:01:08 You know To be part of our fucking Swami Salami team A fucking you know non you know it's it's crazy what happens in this industry to people it's a shame what happened to those girls i also want the name of the agents that sent them over that yeah because they knew what was cracker lock and they knew this guy was going to get open up the door of the robe you know all the motherfuckers knew about him you know yes they did yes they did
Starting point is 01:01:35 you know so they they can all be guilty of the same shit not saying some you talked about them at the beginning of the podcast what about the mothers who agreed to let what and more did their daughter. That motherfucker wasn't allowed at the mall. You think about that for 10 minutes. You go home tomorrow when you ain't thinking about your children or what's important. Go, wait a second.
Starting point is 01:01:56 I'm 40-something years old. I'm a grown man. Nobody's ever thrown me out of a fucking morning. And I shopped up there from GNC since the age of 12, right? Everybody's told us something from GNC. Muscle dick pills. Aloha cream. What is that?
Starting point is 01:02:13 Allo? Aloha. You know, nobody gets thrown out of the mall. They made this motherfucker get out of the mall for just abducting little 16-year-old dog. Waiting on them. Eight of them now. Here's the other side of the coin. Let me tell you all the other side of the coin.
Starting point is 01:02:28 Okay, my brother, you're very fortunate. You grew up in Downey? No, pretty much like East El-O-A. So your mother's from La Hanna. Yeah. Migrated to California right away. 68. When did she?
Starting point is 01:02:41 No stops. No, she escaped. Right. She escaped. Then, yeah, 68, you were escaping. Via Mexico or? No, she came in through, it was either the port of Florida or New York, somewhere around there. Debbie Nacobah.
Starting point is 01:02:57 And then she ended up in California. She had a cousin here that came in on the lottery system. You know how in Cuba they got a lottery system. And if one of your kids' numbers pops up in that lottery system, they give you the option to leave the island. You give up your, you know, all your credentials, your citizenship there. And they let you go, but you got to start over, you know. So, you know, if you were a professor, if you were a doctor, if you were a physicist, if you were anything like that,
Starting point is 01:03:32 when you were going to the United States, you weren't going with none of those credentials. So, you know, there was a family that, you know, my mother's family knew. and they were going to the States. They didn't have no kids. I guess apparently the daughter had passed away recently and they passed my cousin for this girl. And she went with that family, came into the United States and kind of grew up here.
Starting point is 01:04:03 And when my mother escaped, she was the only relative here that was from her family. And so, you know, she was here, she was living in, I think, Inglewood, California. Now, when your mom came, raft. Yeah, raft. No shit. Yeah, she escaped from prison, actually. She had a cousin that was, you know, a communist and worked in the prison.
Starting point is 01:04:31 And she was anti-communism, obviously, which was why she was in prison. And, you know, he kind of helped her to get her. get out of there because you know the future was not bright for her in there so she escaped from the prison then escaped from the island on a raft and you know ended up in the united states my moms have similar my mom grew up in cuba nine brothers nine sisters the whole fucking deal shitty fucking neighborhood when she was 16 and her sister was 15 and her brother and her brother they all went to a dance on violin and my mom couldn't find her younger sister
Starting point is 01:05:16 so she went outside and she heard a noise and some guy was raping her in the bush so my mom got a bottle and stabbed the guy and the guy died and my mom had to get rushed out of Cuba that night went to the Bronx and then went back, got the alias and that's why I never got Social Security.
Starting point is 01:05:33 What a weird fucking escape on a rap have you ever, have people ever thought of it like when I watched that out of 30 for 30. That's the first time I didn't sleep about something without doing Meta Coke for four years just deep
Starting point is 01:05:48 and thought, have you ever watched it? Yeah, 30 for 30, yeah. With the two Cuban brothers. Uh, no. The pictures. No, I haven't seen it. How they got stuck in the Bahamas and they hadn't eaten in three days
Starting point is 01:06:01 and they told everybody eating his hand and, you know, you know, who the fuck thinks this shit up? You know what I'm saying? It's crazy. And if Castro would have caught him, his brother had just wanted to war. Ivan.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Ivan, and then the other guy went to the Yankees, and he became a legend for the Yankees, with the high leg kick and shit. I think about how fucking lucky I was that my mom got me out of there when she did. I'm thinking, how a fuck. But I got a New York City birth certificate, G. Money. That's how kinky the system was.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Yeah. Were you influenced by any Cuban music? I mean, you know, she used to listen to, My mother used to listen to a lot of the stuff that she, you know, was able to find. It was, you know, like Cuban music, Cuban bands and stuff like that. So, yeah, you know, I grew up listening to Celia Cruz and, you know, shit like that. Yeah, we hear a cat named Benny Moray. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Used to, you know, hear his records, too. El Grancombo. A Grancombo. Yeah. And, uh, man. And do me a favor, Lee. Yes. Put on for my brother here, just so you can see our roots.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Los Munequitos de Matanza. Jesus, these motherfuckers are bad. Brother, brother, these guys eat like beans once a month. Yeah. I want you to show you how happy they are. Because talking to you makes me think that you're related to these motherfuckers alone or another. You never know, man. Like Samoans, they're all cousins.
Starting point is 01:07:35 M-U-N-I-Q-I-T-O-E-O-A-T-O. Los L-O-S Munoiquitos D-E Matanzas M-A-N-Z-A-S Gotcha Let's see what you got up there
Starting point is 01:07:50 Watch these motherfuckers This is your cousins in Cuba Right here I know this for a fact I have to talking to you Scroll, scroll down scroll down Keep going
Starting point is 01:08:07 Click it click it I'm just trying to get it to go away That's all Believe it's one video right there that one right there click this you gotta watch these motherfuckers click that and go away please you kill him really i'm gonna have to stab you with a pencil
Starting point is 01:08:33 watch this listen to this music watch this chick i would do anything to marry this sister anything i'd go to cuba on a sailboat and smuggle her in you see this a little black guy he's about 92 away but he's been doing this every day that's why he's in tremendous shape Now the Cubans, they go for the pussy. Watch this.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Old school Cubans. That's crazy if they're playing now with Tongue, usually it's with the tambourdes on the bottom. No, no, this is brilliant, Paul. This is where it got invented, though. They invented this shit. This came from Africa there. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:09:12 That's it. This is second generation. Look how she covers that monkey. Look at that. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me, be real? You got to get these guys on tour. Look at this.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Lee, what would you do for that little chubby cuba to fart in your face? After she danced, 10 rounds of this. I don't want anyone to fart on my face, but that wouldn't be bad. That'd be a decent one. Lee, put that back 10 seconds for a second. It'd be sweet with the plantains. Put that back 10 seconds for a second. Listen to that congo again.
Starting point is 01:10:05 Right here, click it. You were talking all right there. So that guy's 90 years old right there. No, no. I was going to say. He looks like in like 20. Oh, you say shit. He's in pretty good.
Starting point is 01:11:11 You have good shape for a 90-year-old motherfucker. I was like, damn, I wish I could move like that in 90, motherfucker. Oh, my God. These guys get like $8 a month. To do that? And they put that.
Starting point is 01:11:28 No, bro, these guys tour all over the world. When you go see these guys, your fucking jaw drops. I saw him in Boulder. In like 90 fucking 3 at the Fox Theater. My friend called me. She goes, you know, the Munojito's at the, fucking, I'm going to what are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:11:44 She was brother, going to be heavy security but you get in there and they were fucking phenomenal and they travel, you know, like my cousins are the other ones. My cousins are Eki Alfonso and Emmy Alfonso. Put Eki Alfonso on from
Starting point is 01:11:59 with the guitar on Veo. He just, the other night, me and my wife are sitting there and Anthony Bordaines in Puerto Rico and all of a sudden the next one is Cuba and was sitting there and my wife gets up. I go, honey, Get in here. My cousin's on fucking Anthony Bourdain.
Starting point is 01:12:17 V-E-O. This is the shit that put not out of Cuba, be real. Anytime you want to go to this club in Cuba, La Factoria, all I do is make the call. You're doing it all wrong. Eki, Alfonso, with an A, right there, the first one, Vea. Can you believe it was there and he messed it up again? It's right here
Starting point is 01:12:48 There you go All right Listen to what they're doing Down in Cuba Dog This is my cousin Blood Blood
Starting point is 01:12:53 His father is my uncle That's your That's your That's Fucking around Be real Yeah That's funky
Starting point is 01:13:43 That's Kill a link That's your roots You know You can't Denny it All those little Things
Starting point is 01:13:53 Of pieces Of who you are And then on top of that, your uncle's a mariachi. You throw that shit in a mix. Who the fuck's on the stop be real and the shit? You know what I'm saying? You got the mind of a Cuban in the back of a Mexican. You never met a Mexican on workman's comedy.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Never. You never see a Mexican. They keep, right? You never see a Mexican. I made the way. That way. Fuck no. Mexicans, I know a Mexico to fall off a roof.
Starting point is 01:14:18 He went to work the next day. He went to work the next day. They don't miss a day, baby. I even told him to call. I even told him to call Norton Freaking Associates. He wouldn't go for it. Or you put a yama away. Well, you know.
Starting point is 01:14:35 Let me give some shout-outs, brother, and we'll get you to fuck out of here. It has been, you're very fascinating. And it's amazing that we haven't crossed paths before. And now it was only a matter of time, you know? I want to do something with you for the simple reason is that I learn something. and we'll really take it to the next motherfucking level.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Do me a favor, my little room. Can you close that door? Look at this place. The alarm already went off one fucking time. Jordan Cardha, 2BD Guy 13, Ace Hole. My brother, down there under,
Starting point is 01:15:13 the Australian warrior, not so gingerly, gold flavor, Mikey Cooper, Joji Boy, and Beto Avran. What are you fucking nuts or what? Now, are you in for the month of December?
Starting point is 01:15:29 Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, we got a couple of shows, but they're pretty much in California. So, you know, we're home. We're home. And then December you also write every day. Do you write? Do you write a collaborator? Yeah, I mean, you know, I write, you know, for profits.
Starting point is 01:15:47 I write for Cyprus. I write for myself. I write for others and stuff like that in terms of music. And then, you know, with terms of Be Real TV and content, you know, we all sort of brainstorm and, you know, try to come up with ideas there and stuff. So, you know, we all, you know, sort of do that creative part together. But musically, you know, when it comes to, you know, writing, I get in the zone and I do my part. You know, be real, I looked around your place. And you know when you see something and it feels right, you ever go somewhere and you're like, you know what, bro?
Starting point is 01:16:23 This other place got the view of fucking downtown L.A. And I'm looking at white people eating that Chip, and that's your poultry and shit. You know what I'm saying? But I felt like I was in a, and I'm not a hippie, bro. I've never been a hippie, but I felt like I was at a place where I could smoke a joint at your place and go into a corner and write a bit. I would even consider doing like stand up and stream it from there. Yeah, I could totally do that. do, there's so many things
Starting point is 01:16:53 I want to do with you from down there. There's a lot of things I want to do, but again, I'm like you, bro. I don't have the time. I got time to fuck around with be motherfuckers. With you, I can tell you what I want to do, and you'll go, you know what, bro, try this way, because we could do this way, this I could drop. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:09 At 8.30 instead of 10.30, don't curse on this bit. You know what I'm saying? Like something. Yeah, I mean, for us, it's all unfiltered. Yeah, it's all unfiltered. But that's the thing. I really want to do some. Listen, brother B, for us to sit somewhere and start smoking,
Starting point is 01:17:25 reefe, or what am I, my 13? We've been doing that on Periscope every morning. That's how I motivate the troops. Yeah. I get on Periscope and I tell him to wash their pussy. A little cup of coffee, some bong hits. And away you go on that bus, happy than fuck. Fucking ain't.
Starting point is 01:17:40 You got to go on a bus so, but that's one thing. You're angry. Yeah. And that dude smells like fucking dick. When you go on a bus stone, it's a completely different situation. Oh, yeah. You tend to overlook all. You tip the bus driver and shit.
Starting point is 01:17:53 You give the bus driver a dollar bill and have a good day, Cuck, sucker on the way out. But I admire what you're doing. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough, but at the same time, I am doing a lot. You're doing a lot. You know, plus the refurb, plus the number one thing
Starting point is 01:18:11 is trying to stay alive the next day for me. I try to train or lift weights and do push-ups and stay in active. You know what? You know what? Pretty soon I might have to give up smoking reefer.
Starting point is 01:18:22 My lungs are, this is since I was 12. And I lived in Colorado from 83 to 95. In that altitude, my lungs got acclimated. But between the crack, the reefer,
Starting point is 01:18:36 the fucking, you know, sometimes when you snorting coke, you snort sheetrock and shit. You know what I'm saying? Normal wear and tear. Oh, man. A pubic hair.
Starting point is 01:18:47 Who knows what happened to my lungs? I got the nose fixed And I'm still lacking oxygen So I hold on every day I got on it I got Shumtech Sport And it expands my lungs But you could always keep up the edibles
Starting point is 01:19:00 If you know But now they're gonna cut the edibles To 10 milligrams You know many edibles Listen there's gonna have to eat double There's some mornings There's no way to eat doubles There's some mornings
Starting point is 01:19:11 Dog where I eat edibles And I eat so many of them That's true The next morning when you're shit And you can smell A gelatin in the shit Like a little like a little like this you could smell
Starting point is 01:19:20 the gelatin or it smells like wheat or it smells like weed too. If it's over if it's dosed heavy you'll your shit will smell like wheat. I thought I was going crazy. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's the craziest shit. And then you go to acupuncture she puts a needle in your neck and a little smoke comes out like
Starting point is 01:19:36 that's when you know when you shit and your acupuncture will ask you how much are you still smoked? Last time I went that's the same. Are we still smoking heavy? No. I gave it up for fucking the Jew lent. Yeah. The Jewel. Yeah. Smoking
Starting point is 01:19:52 fucking heavy. And it's not like when I was 28 heavy. I smoke in the morning. I smoke when I get back to Jiu-Jitsu. Still morning. I smoke at about four. I smoke it about six. None of you smoke a little bit
Starting point is 01:20:08 before you watch TV at 9. That's it. It's not like when you're in the studio all day and you got 20 people around you, like your partner over here. And he's giving you a join every 7 minutes. Every seven minutes you had a joint for us and shit. That's fucking tremendous. You bring him everywhere with you. You take him on the road. He's your partner crime. I like him. He comes through some of the LA stuff because he's studio manages Be Real TV.
Starting point is 01:20:34 So he stays home and make sure it's all running properly when. My son's scarface. Leave him here. Maybe he can help me run my business. Let him wait a thousand stay. I'll keep him on ice. it down with the troops. Keep them on us. Be real. It's been a real pleasure, brother. Thanks for having me, brother.
Starting point is 01:20:56 Man, I appreciate that you took the time. I loved, I've got a great response from going in the fucking the box. The box of debt. I love that I got in there early. I didn't need an ambulance and shit. I think, I hope a lot of people listen to this podcast
Starting point is 01:21:12 because they really learn something. They didn't learn about the music industry or, you know, how to make a million they learn how to be an artist which I think a lot of people have forgotten and you know what bro for the first 15 years I was doing this people go to me here and what are you talking about
Starting point is 01:21:31 dog at the time what artist are you talking about but for the last three I felt something different you have to respect it you have to see how it's affected it I couldn't wait to fucking go on stage at 7.30 at night couldn't wait if you said to me listen there's a bond in the next room with a Coke rock and a clit
Starting point is 01:21:50 ready to pop a nut or you get on stage I tell you I'm going to go get on stage now there's times I don't want to get on stage yeah so you have to know when to strike went to sit at home right and you proved a lot of things to me maybe I'll do something else I work the circus
Starting point is 01:22:07 after a year comedy the other half and I'll fucking take over this world man good luck to you always you're always welcome on here you have any tour date you want to promote brother We got December 1st with Cypress Hill, Kings of the West. It's going to be popping. It's going to have Ice Cube, Snoop Dog, and ourselves, and a couple others.
Starting point is 01:22:31 It's going to be a really heavy gig. It's the first time the three of us have been on the three groups have been on stage in one place in Los Angeles, California, and I don't know how long. So it's a pretty big deal that one. And then, you know, with profits, we have almost acoustic Christmas coming up. I can't remember the day for that one. I'm high as hell. Me too, me too. I ran out of questions.
Starting point is 01:22:58 I forgot whatever. I wanted to ask you about mixtapes, the differences. But even if you explain it to me, I ain't going to remember them. You know what I'm like Cosby's victims right now. I wake up in the morning confused. I know what happened. I know he showed me his dick, but I don't know what happened after that. and shit.
Starting point is 01:23:17 Because I saw you have a couple of mixtapes. Now, a mixtape is something you make where? Well, you know, it's... Sorry to break your balls one last time. Same thing, you know, like, if you're going to make a mixtape, it's just like making an album. The difference is you're just calling it a mixtape and giving it out for free.
Starting point is 01:23:35 And usually with the mixtape, it's with songs of samples that you can't necessarily clear or more aggressive, songs that you wouldn't necessarily put on your album. And, you know, a lot of artists got into doing that. 50 Cent, you know, was very heavy with mixtapes, made some great music doing mixtapes using other people's beats and shit like that.
Starting point is 01:23:59 And then that eventually primed him up to where when his album came out, people knew who he was, you know, because he had been putting out so many mixtapes for free, you know. And realistically, it's just an album that you put out for free. and you call it a mixtape. And depending how you make the transitions from one song to the next as well. You know, you sort of have to do all that shit,
Starting point is 01:24:25 have somebody hosted, as opposed to an album, you know, you're just doing songs and you've got transitions, but there's nobody talking in between. There's nobody hyping up the record as you go along. And mixtapes definitely do that, especially East Coast mixtapes. But realistically, not too many people are,
Starting point is 01:24:43 I mean, you don't hear about. as much as you used to. More people are just, like, more artists are doing songs now. Just busting out songs and maybe EPs and albums, not necessarily so many mixtap. Four fucking songs. Put it on YouTube or some other Spotify, right?
Starting point is 01:25:01 Get a million two downloads and go on tour. And you sell $82 a ticket. You can put it in studio sales. Anyone can put anything on iTunes now? Yeah. You can put your music on iTunes now. SoundCloud was where a lot of people put their mixtapes when they put them out
Starting point is 01:25:17 and albums and shit like that that they're going to give out for free. Now I don't know if it's the same get down but you know you could find a lot there that Piff live mix tape live mixtapes and SoundCloud.
Starting point is 01:25:34 You know what's another one? Some other shit but like those are the three main ones you would find all the good stuff at you know. But that's the get down the album is a different because it's all shit that you would clear that you have to clear you know in terms of publishing and samples and all that stuff and then you sell that and that's out in the market for sale and you know it that's like it goes under all the statistics that happen
Starting point is 01:26:04 you know where they track the record what it did what it's sold you know what markets it's sold best in whereas a mixtape you don't keep track of all that you guys you get it out as much as you can to the people you give it to DJs you you know um sort of a similar process but not as much resource on it because you're just giving it away for promotion whereas the mixtape is the promotion piece before the album comes out to get the the hype on the album you know because that's where all the hits are going to be all the raw crazy songs are on the fucking mixtape and all the hits are on the album you know because that's where all the hits are on the album you know That's usually the mentality on how people were doing that.
Starting point is 01:26:50 That's fucking brilliant. It's brilliant how the music industry has changed in front of my eyes. You know, I went from being a fan to becoming an obvious. I don't know how nothing. I want to get a song. I wanted to download O'Maulay by Willie Colon. Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:27:08 I had to contact my wife on the other room. She was pressing buttons for 22 minutes. You know, all I had to do. go to the record store. She's in there pressing buttons, right buttons. Trying to get a telegram to Puerto Rico to get the rights to fucking Willie Cologne music. You know.
Starting point is 01:27:25 So, brother, I appreciate, like I said, you put me on and you coming on here and sharing your fucking knowledge of the art of anything. Because an art is an art as an art. It's just how you translated yourself. Thank you very much, brother. Thank you for coming on to church, man. God bless you.
Starting point is 01:27:42 Happy Thanksgiving. Hallelujah. Stay black. You know, that was great insight from Be Real. Like I said, I went down to the studios. I didn't know what to expect at first. And I talked to his dudes, Ross dude, the black dude with the camera,
Starting point is 01:28:05 who was cool as shit. And Lee had gone down there and done a show. And I came back and I was blown away. And I went up to Joe's podcast and I was blown away. And there's something I like to do, something in between that. You know, something in between that size. Well, they both have huge buildings.
Starting point is 01:28:25 Yeah, those are, but... Which is a little bit more than we need, but it would be nice. It looks like a, like a somewhere where I would live if I was still being there, you know, like I would fix it. If you were like a single guy? Yeah, single guy with a fucking heater in that motherfucker. Oh my God, that would be crazy. That's a reality show. You know, it gives it that feel.
Starting point is 01:28:45 But to see, guys, listen, what keeps you shot... The clubhouse. What has always kept me sharp, which I'm going back to do, is not hanging out the comedy store, the Lafactory, or the improv. When I got ready for Gabriel's stay, I was banned from the comedy store. Not banned. I had banned myself from going down there. And it's weird that I started going to these places,
Starting point is 01:29:13 and I would watch these young kids, and they would inspire me. And I put together like this 20-minute. heater set in six months hanging out with these young kids and closing the ha-ha out every weekend. I would sit there. Remember I took you and I introduced you to the hook and she took it to that place and tried to suck
Starting point is 01:29:31 you there for the small 40 and kissed your neck and shit. Oh my God, with the bandages? With the bandages? A boy, her pimped She literally escaped from the hospital. So, you know, it's sometimes removing yourself and reminding yourself away you're from
Starting point is 01:29:47 and scraping up that. That, you know, that's why I'm dying to go to that place with you. Oh, the fourth wall? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going to go. It's intriguing to me. I got to show. Today when we have to leave. We got to leave in Irvine.
Starting point is 01:30:00 We got to leave here fucking tomorrow at 2 in the afternoon. Oh, gotcha. To get the Irvine by 6. Did you see the fucking, when they put the, you know. Thank God the show wasn't tonight. No, you know, listen, my niece is flying in. There's nothing worse than flying into someplace. and somebody says to you, listen, I'm working,
Starting point is 01:30:22 and you have to take a bus or a train or a cab or something. And my world is nothing worse than that. You know, I flew all the way here. The least you could do is show up at the airport. I walk a half a mile. But just show me, meet me somewhere. So I'm not fucking unleashed in hell. So I had made plans to go down to pick up my niece tomorrow morning.
Starting point is 01:30:46 I was going to leave the house at 5.30. You guys know a fucking animal. I would smoke a little dope, have a protein shake, and then hit Denny's. You don't take me an hour to get the Denny because the traffic closes
Starting point is 01:30:59 to two lanes. You people won't believe this. Listen, you know, you all live in cities and towns and provinces, wherever the fuck you live. And every once in a while, aren't you driving down the street
Starting point is 01:31:12 and you say to yourself, I do not fucking believe this sign? Okay, well, If you drive to the airport now About a mile before you get to the airport It's like road construction Starts the week in November 20th And ends up January 4th
Starting point is 01:31:28 Well Isn't that the busy fucking time of the year At the airport So they shut it down You leave saw it Yeah they have And they've had construction there forever Since Jesus left Chicago
Starting point is 01:31:40 So instead of four lanes It cuts down to two For about 10 minutes You know how many fucking cars are going to drop and pick up people on fucking Wednesday and fucking Thursday. You people have any fucking idea. And they're shutting down to two lanes.
Starting point is 01:31:56 Not to mention they drive like animals. So they're saying from the fucking century road where you make the right. Right, okay. To the top of the airport through the intense security this time. Dogs, two sets of security. Wow.
Starting point is 01:32:09 I found this out Sunday because my buddy is a cop. And I talk to them and I go, I got to pick my niece up on Wednesday. He goes, what time? I go, he goes, ah, that's not a good idea. Now I talk about my Uber buddy, and he goes, listen, she's still got to walk upstairs to the platform and stand down like a savage.
Starting point is 01:32:28 And if I don't see her, it's going to take me 45 minutes to get around together. This is, I love my nieces. I don't want her out there. She's coming with her boyfriend, but what do I know? He's a mortadale. He's the first time he's ever come here. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:32:42 So what I'm doing is I said, listen. I told her when she was landing, I know that airport like the back of my hand. She's carrying on luggage. I said, just walk straight, hook her right, and go, sign your name and get the next cab out. I text to the address. My wife texted the address and fucking, I told her exactly what to say so the dude wouldn't rip her off. You follow me, and they go, call me as soon as you get in that fucking cab.
Starting point is 01:33:11 And I'll tell you what to say. It says, cuck, I don't get off. I'll take you to fucking westward to some. salami sandwich. I don't eat that shit. You're going to fucking, this is where you're going. So I'll meet her at the house and then we'll hang there's a school. I gotta go to
Starting point is 01:33:27 Mercy's 10 o'clock karate presentation. Is she getting a new belt? Yeah, she's got a belt. She's breaking the board. Oh, snap. Her head? I hope so. And then there's like a little turkey dinner there. You got to do a pot luck. I got to sit there for a fucking hour with him.
Starting point is 01:33:48 And after that, I'll call you up and get the party started. George Perez will meeters down there. We'll pick up DiAgostino on a mission from Satan. And just like we did every year, the last two years, I think the first year I was too high to drive, but I was too embarrassed to tell you. I think that's happened a few times. But anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this episode,
Starting point is 01:34:11 especially be real, talking about art, how you balance it, how you stay fresh, because this is what's been burned. hurting me the last 90 days people. You know, whatever you do as an art is always great. For my girl, Jennifer Jones, it's when you turn it into a business where you're like, why the fuck do I do this sometimes? Because people are going to break my balls anyway.
Starting point is 01:34:36 I don't know. I put 20 years in, this is what the fuck it is. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. This could be crazy. but the last episode we were talking with Ida about the century that you do and you were talking with
Starting point is 01:34:52 Be Real about it Do you think that he came and talked about What's been bugging you is something with that Or is that reaching too much? I don't know I don't know It was just something that's on my mind A long time
Starting point is 01:35:04 You know I became a comic to be a comic But along the way when I got here I kind of like that from time to time guys Nothing wrong with it to get on the set Get some fresh legs for eight weeks weeks, why you're fucking on the set? You're thinking new angles. I got to think up a new angles, people. I've been hitting the same fucking drum for the same five years. I got to switch it around a little bit. So understand if I don't come to your title next year. Let's see what happens
Starting point is 01:35:30 with Netflix. If not, me and Lee are going to put something together. It's going to blow your fucking brain. All right. Have I ever let you down cock suckers? Never. You know why I'm your uncle fucking Joey? That's number one. Number two, it's Thanksgiving. It's our fucking time right now. You know how lucky we are that we have each other? You know how well lucky we are that we have that stupid fucking page? I mean, I love the kid who's fucking running it, but we got a bunch of momos on it. But you know how lucky we are? We get to chit-chat about the viking proms and the pill problems and the blow problem and the sex problems and that, you know, uh, I've always
Starting point is 01:36:03 said I wanted to do a podcast that you took something home with it. I could just do a podcast and sit here and me and Lee could crack funnies and I could hire a writer and it's a fucking radio show. This is not a radio show. This is a radio show from a little misfit Jew from fucking Boston who thinks he doesn't. He doesn't fit in, but he does. He's a sweetheart of a guy. And a fat fucking ex-con comedian
Starting point is 01:36:26 with a weird sense, but let me tell you some. Nobody can get you off that bed quicker than I can, all right? So what I want to do is wish you and your families are fucking happy Thanksgiving, especially the church, the inner circle of fucking Bobby's and the fucking Bobbi's
Starting point is 01:36:42 be the linguses and the lawn and the, you know, the horse warrior and fucking your buddy T.J. Strachio and the guy who fucking sends me letters, your buddy, Rico Picot Petticelli. Listen. The Lalingises.
Starting point is 01:36:59 Yeah. No, the guy who sends letters on Gmail. Oh, Dante Gazzini. Dante Gazzini. Listen, we got a great fucking family. This is a fucking great family. We had second chances in our lives and we took advantage of them
Starting point is 01:37:14 and we're not the fucking king of what we do but we're holding on so thank you for giving us another year of your time you know what I'm saying? Number one I want to thank Honet for always being with us from day one and this is why I love them because now you're not an
Starting point is 01:37:30 customer you know what time of the year it is it's right you've rationed your MCT oil which is fucking tremendous you've outgrown your happy kettlebell and you're down to your last alpha brain insta pack because you know I'm just going to hit you with the biggest sale of the fucking year. So this Friday, November 24th, on it,
Starting point is 01:37:49 is turning up the Black Friday sale to 11. Stock up 25% off supplements, including Alpha Brain, 30% off apparel and gear. Door Busted deals like 50% off to Werewolf Legend Cettlebell and even exclusive new products like the NCT oils and vitamin D sprays. If you're already a fan on it like I am, You know me, dog, between the Shroom Tech, the Shroom Tech sport and the fucking, the chocolate and fourth protein, that's what I live by.
Starting point is 01:38:22 It's a time to stock up like a prepper for the winter. It's like stocking up with the edibles now. Lee's got a good idea, but he's a half a fact. If you're curious about it, check out what they have to offer and just give something a try. Honit doesn't mess around. You will not be disappointed. So do me a favor.
Starting point is 01:38:40 Head to Onet.com Black Friday. and sign up for alerts. Again, that's on it.com, Black Friday. To take advantage of the biggest deals of the year, that's Onet.com slash black Friday. Go to on it.com. Don't forget to always press in church
Starting point is 01:38:59 and tell him your Uncle Joey sent you. Number two, listen, everybody needs some fucking Getus. Everybody's looking to make a dollar. Who the fuck are you kidding? Who wants to show up on Thanksgiving with Bunny Rap? been fucking pockets with a story. You're not going to believe it.
Starting point is 01:39:16 I went out last night. I got pickpocketed. No, you're a fucking moot. That's what happens. But you got a skill. You're an idiot savant. You know how to pick a game every week. You're smart.
Starting point is 01:39:28 You're not like the other suckers that are picking 18 games. You know how to get a game and load up like a motherfucker. You understand me? Because you can feel in your bones that it's going to come in. And even though you got $8 in your pocket
Starting point is 01:39:41 and whatever's in your piggy bank. Columbus took a chance. So are you. You blast that fucking book for a thousand fucking dollars. And there you are. The Friday after Thanksgiving, getting your dick sucked and your balls lick. I can make that happen.
Starting point is 01:39:56 You know why? MyBooky.ag. Listen, you need it, and I know where you get it. My book is the place to score serious cash on your scorch predictions. Listen, you're good at what the fuck you do. You know it, and I know it. Believe it or not, the holidays are just around the corner, and that's big Guitz.
Starting point is 01:40:17 Big money I haven't made was December selling sports information. Why? Because you got the bowl games. You got college basketball. You got pro basketball. You got pro football. You got pro football playoffs. Listen, it's like going to the bank ATM machine every fucking day.
Starting point is 01:40:35 And that's what it's all about. And while this means plenty of parties, gifts, freaks. spending, you hang out with fucking, you know, it also means there's a lot of football, basketball, hockey games, and like I said, you can score big every day. Man up and play like the pros on game day. You can play the money line side or total. My bookie is your hookup for all your betting needs and offer super fast payouts when you win. Bam, bam, boom.
Starting point is 01:41:06 Where your bet is just as important to who you bet not. and if you want more money betting on games, you gotta go with my bookie.ag. That's the only site I'd recommend. I trust them, but you don't have to take my word for it. Check them out yourself. They have odds on every matchup and a mobile site that makes wagering on your smartphone.
Starting point is 01:41:30 A breeze, Jack. I'm going to tell you what Uncle George is going to do for you out of respect for the Indians and the Pilgrims. Join now, and my booking will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus. I got to take a sip of water because I might faint from that fucking deal.
Starting point is 01:41:49 That's a great bonus. Again, join now and my bookie will match your deposit with a 50% bonus. You use promo code church to activate the offer and get the party started. Freaks, limos,
Starting point is 01:42:02 you know what I'm saying? You'll be calling your ex-girlfriend saying, listen to this chick, snorting the line off my. Uranus. Visit MyBooky A.G. Use promo code church today. You play. You win. You get
Starting point is 01:42:16 paid. You understand me? And that's the name of the day. It's getting paid. You can be walking around like Mayweather. So go to mybooky. Dot A.G. promo code church. Number three, you're a fat fuck. You're thinking of joining you, Jitsu.
Starting point is 01:42:32 You hit me on the fucking church podcast. Gmail site. You're too embarrassed to hit me on the church website. You can say, Joe, you're a fat fuck. Where'd you get your geese? Sports.com. That's why I got my geek. First gear I ever got from them.
Starting point is 01:42:47 I borrowed it. A friend of mine said, try this on. I don't know what it was, but it fit like a glove. I went home and ordered a size bigger the Super Rado. Super Yorado, something like that. Tremendous. I ordered the Seiko. S-I-K-O.
Starting point is 01:43:03 But the Superado is my fucking favorite of all time. I'm a big guy. People hang on my neck. They tugged, they pull, tip-top, Magool, the collar still looks brand fucking new. What I'm going to do for you for Black Friday? Forget 10% I'm slashing it. 15%. Go to Fugisports.com right now.
Starting point is 01:43:22 Look at the great apparel they got, whether it's the rash guards. The new elemental ghee is tremendous also. It's white and blue, the blue one is bad ass. And also look at like that navy blue purple one. It's like $99 bucks with the Fuji on the side. Oh shit You'll be looking sharp at your next Jiu-Jitsu class and
Starting point is 01:43:43 You're feeling good, it's light, it's tougher than death Go to Fuji Sports.com right now. Again, I want to thank my man Lee Syatt. I want to thank my man, Be Real, and I want to let you guys know December 3rd, the Nova Theater with my man Wheeler Walker, December 4th, San Diego the Observatory. Again, I'm opening for Wheeler.
Starting point is 01:44:07 20 bucks, people. And Tuesday, the fifth, I'm opening up for Wheeler again at the Observatory in Santa Ana. Lee Cyanne will be given there all three nights, signing autographs and taking pictures and whatnot. Happy Thanksgiving. I love your motherfuckers with all my heart. Stay black, stay healthy. Be careful and have a great weekend. Love you.
Starting point is 01:44:30 Thank you, brother. I know, bless it short and sweet.

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