The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #563 - Danny Brown

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

Danny Brown, a rapper from Detroit who has released multiple albums and mixtapes. a music video directed by Jonah Hill, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: eharmony - Enter code CHURCH at checkout for a free month when you sign up for a 3 month subscription. eharmony brings compatible people together.    FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 02/28/2018.    

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delivered to your house. Nothing beats that out of a brain. Kick this motherfucker mulee. Out of respect for my man, Danny Brown. That's right. A young Marvin Gay right here sitting in his fucking office right now. And as usual

The only Jew I'm He's the only Jew I hang out with during length You know what I'm saying? The flying Jew, the Christ killer, Lee Syed. Thursday morning, you bad motherfuckers If I got to rate my top 10 songs of all time This is one of my top 10 favorites And what's happening now, baby.

The Truth, like Marvin Gaye. Listen to this shit, the truth. It's March 1st, motherfuckers, the rent is due. Give you all this love, come on. In return, sweet darling. DB in the fucking house.

What I'm doing? What's up, baby, boy? You look beautiful. Thank you, man. I don't know. You said you gained weight. You don't look. I mean, you know, I told her I stopped smoking cigarettes.

They always say you gain way you start smoke cigarettes because I've been eating like a motherfucker. You're hungry? You don't look? I mean, in the morning. I remember I used to wake up in the morning. The first thing I do is smoke cigarettes, you know, and I wouldn't probably have coffee, you know. But I probably wouldn't eat until like much.

Drinking coffee with that cigarette no morning. I smoke, I mean, I smoke weed with it now, you know. I just replaced every, that just placed the cigarettes. Yeah, I just smoke way more weed now. Yeah, you smoke a ton of weed. That's how I got off the cigarettes. I got out of the cigarette. It was fucking weed.

I didn't like the patch. I didn't like none of that shit. That shit made me break out. I tried it. Yeah, I tried it to make me all itchy and stuff. But yeah. What's going on with you, you say that? I'm doing good.

Everything all right? Yeah, everything's been going great. It's a couple of the mics last night. I'm really enjoying it. Good. What's up? What's up? Oh, yeah, Danny.

You saw me in Austin. Yeah, I saw your office. It was lit. That's crazy. You're up there doing your thing. I fucked with you, Lee. That's right. Where were you?

Huh? At Sam Trippley's room? No, we were in Austin. Oh, that's right. My came up there hung with my church, folk. That was a nice time, wasn't it? That was a nice time. With the pop of those?

You know what I'm saying? I can go for a loaf of that bread right now. Oh, shit. Like bread, put 20 pounds on your ass, man. Quick. That's what I could live out there. If I lived out there, I'd be fat. Yeah, Texas is scary, man.

And, hey, it's all but like, it's cosigned to be fat. Like, you know what? It don't matter. It don't matter what part of Texas you go to. You'll find fucking something. Somethingly. I swear to God, it's the weirdest thing. What do you mean something?

Like, food-wise? Yeah, like something that you leave there going, Jesus, fuck. And they just gave you so much food, man. They gave you too much food, man. You know, for 10 bucks, that was a big fucking breakfast, you know? You ain't lying when they said everything bigger in Texas. El Paso? When I used to go to El Paso, there was a supermarket on the corner.

I would stay in the condo. And that would be excited because fucking 60 yards away, they had a place that made food every day. plus they made two soups homemade. I ain't talking about cream of chicken and chicken noodle. No, no, no, no, no. They would make exotic shit.

When you hate it, you're like, damn. But on Fridays they made Yucatan fish soup. And I would get all cooked up on Thursday night because I knew I'd be straight once I had that fist soup. Oh, my God. This shit was so fucking good. I'd buy it by the gallon. And I'd eat it all day.

All fucking day I would eat it from that supermarket. You know, you always found something. There was always something in Texas. I love Texas, man. I dig it. I always have. I mean, what's the way law is a little different? That's all you.

Is that the, it still, is it legal? I mean, they always just say, don't mess with Texas. That's all I know. Right. They don't get caught. Come on vacation, leave on probation. That's what you, you know what I mean? So I just don't mess around with it, man.

Do you guys get worried about? Because when I was driving cross country, my mom was like, be careful. You're Jewish. Be careful where you stop. And I mean, I never heard anyone. look at me anyway, but like being black

and being Hispanic is a little bit more obvious than it is to be a Jew, I can hide. Like, I mean, do you get scared, Danny? I mean, yeah, when you're doing wrong. But if I ain't doing that, no. But I remember when I was a kid,

we used to do all type of wild shit, yeah. You know, like, that pisses me off when I read in the paper that you you pulled Snoop over at the airport and you had an ounce of weed. Wow. you're a fucking secret agent you're a fucking secret agent

you know I mean there's some people that they're obvious like Snoop has to have a problem traveling or there's somebody with them who's you know you got 10 people he probably so connected

as soon as he touched down everywhere he go he got somebody that already got it but he ain't got that Cali Bud he grew up on CaliBut he grew up on CaliBut he might be right so it's a difference do they check private planes

Or can you just do whatever you want on that? You do whatever the fuck you want on there. You could drop a chick. You could throw a chick off a plane. You can throw a chick off a plane. The worst place is Arizona, though, on tour. Like, you know, when you always go through Arizona, you've got to tighten it all the way up

because they'll pull your bus over in the heartbeat. So every time you go through Arizona, we make sure when I got shit. That's crazy. They had checkpoints and all types of shit. That sheriff was pretty intense there. Yeah, man. want to get locked up in the tent. I'm wearing that pink

shit. Fuck that, man. Arizona's a scary place, man. That's I can't, yeah. You know, but I guess everything's about to be changing, man. The weed laws is loosening up and, you know, it's about to be dispensaries everywhere, man. The next 10 years, man. The shit about to be lit.

I don't even know the change. Like, I've been talking about this point in three days. I haven't seen no change. I'm still getting fucking high power shit. You know what I'm saying? The one place I go to them, they're by the book now.

They ain't nothing past 10? They're by the book, don't it's fucking crazy. They're down the bare bones. I'm going to be able to go there twice more. That's how Denver is, man. I don't even mess with the edible is out there. No, I don't mess with it. I didn't even go to a weed store this time.

In Denver? No, Dee in Colorado. I missed him a Thursday night show. I know he brought like two pounds of wheat. Well, Dee doesn't have his regulated. He's just growing it out in the mountains of Denver. Oh, yeah. So his is probably higher than anything we get.

Yeah, no, no, I didn't see him. But I always, bro, I always bring my own. I don't want no misunderstandings. Last time I was in Denver, I had some bacon. There's like brown sugar and all that, but it was like a 200 milligrams of strip. That shit, fuck me up, but they fucked my stomach up, too, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's all that fucking, yeah, fuck that shit.

There's nothing worse. That's why they messed up mushrooms for a long time. That shit was smelled like I was smoking of blood. I wasn't a fan of mushrooms for years, Because when I went to Colorado in 83, I was an acid dude. I went to Colorado, people are like, we ain't got no acid. We got mushrooms. And one 4th of July by myself, I started blasting him,

and there was a little bridge in Snowman's Village. Just a tiny little four-foot bridge to make it seem like something. So in my mushroom mine, I went over by the bridge. And I just sat there. I was 18 years old. My roommate went away with his girlfriend for the weekend. And then went camping. I had the whole condo to myself.

And I'm sitting in that fucking bridge. I can't believe I got out of New Jersey I can't believe I don't do that crazy shit no more the next thing you know I was having a good time I had diarrhea like a motherfucker I had to run home I think I shit my pants Oh my God And I'll never forget that I like the high

But they definitely got me fucking sick Like I was sick that night like diarrhea diarrhea And then like a couple months later I did them again And it was just a symptom of it And people told me that that they would have the same reaction. I try them in a capsule.

Now, nothing happened. Yeah, I don't think true. Now nothing happened. Now I'll blast a mushroom fart when I get home. You can smell the mushroom in the air.

But that's it. You know what I'm saying? Old school. I don't even enough. We ate a little fucking thing. Yeah, I'm cool. You get a little good. I mean,

what about when you eat edibles and your shit or your poop smells like edibles? That's what I mean. My shit. My shit smelled like a blunt. Yeah. No, no. Oh, my God.

there and that shit is true. I don't like the food. I don't know. I'm not. There was one dude, one-time dog that I would turn you on to him. He was in San Francisco or chef. I think it was a hundred a head.

He comes over and cooks like a five or six-course meal for you. And everything's got T.A. So the salad, the salad dressing got T. The soup. The entre, the dessert.

Yeah. But it was... That's the thing, though. Some... We eat it ain't really like a tasty thing. I just be adding now or everything. I get shit every time I talk about that. Thank you, Danny.

What don't you like? The taste. I mean, if you, like, put it in certain food, I don't think it would taste good. Like, we mashed potatoes or something? No, I thought, I don't. I'd rather just add it a mashed potato. I think you could maybe, like, mask it in food. Like, that's why I don't like, like, with the chocolate.

I mean, you can mask it real good, then yeah, but. I'll tell you what I would do. If I had the time and the money and the energy. You know what? I would love to make THC. What? Salsa. I was going to say pasta sauce. No.

The jalapinos would take that flavor of T.C. How good is Mexican food? Can you imagine the Mexican food? Fuck you. You're right. A bean and cheese burrito with some sauce in the middle. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So shit. I took my brother to Denver. I wanted him to get on stage one night. I didn't want to shock his system and put him up. there six nights but the main reason why I know he loves food I love this dude because I know he loves food

and we went to Sam's number three got the green chili dog this motherfucker got a hamburger that dog if it wasn't that I got control it was beautiful it was covering cheese dog it was a Mexican it was a Mexican fucking hamburger with a tortilla with beans smothered beans

dog I'm a fat fly I was ready to push him and take his fucking burrito, whatever the fuck he was. That's the shit I used to eat. What he ate? It was delicious. And I could see his face when he was eating the fries. And he looked like he was 16.

I could see him. He was looking into the ceiling like a half a Momo, thinking like this is the best I've had in my life. I go, Lee, dip the French rind, right, and the green chili. You should have seen this little. face. I didn't even, like, at first, because to be fair, we get picked up early. I get in edible. And we get on this flight. We, what do we eat? Do we eat the whole thing? Yeah, we split it, I think. I think we split one at six of the morning or whatever it was.

But, like, the amount of hunger I have by the time I get to Sam's number three. Oh, yeah. And then, I didn't even order chili. Remember when we first sat down, you ordered chili and you got it. You're like, where's yours? because I got that big ass burger with green chili on it. You're like, no, you need to get a cup right now. So I want to get a cup. Oh, dude, and it was, I think, I didn't go there every, I think I had like one meal somewhere else, but every other meal was there. Yeah, I stay at the hotel right around the corner from there, so that'd be good.

I just walk right around and move up every time I'm out there. I love those kind of bars, like those, like food bars. They're so awkwardly. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure they do, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. We read the menu. And I'm sorry. get the guy their first names.

But on Friday morning or Saturday morning, I forget which one, I was sitting at the counter and these two listeners came up and we're like, hey, great to meet you. If you'd like to come have breakfast with us, we're right over here.

I normally would always say no for that. Just because I'm a shy person. But it was like at the Denver and it was pretty cool. This one guy is from America. I lived in Thailand now. that's not like I was in Kansas City and they met up there to go see you and it was uh and they were and they were drinking they had they drinks with pancakes it's pretty fucking cool that's crazy

crazy you want a tour baby boy no I'm actually I'm working on the album right now so I just doing spot dates right now like I go the next thing I do I go to um Chicago and then I got a show in Iceland I go out there for my birthday it's kind of cool I'm gonna be out there for a few days how long is the flight to Iceland I have no idea I know I go to Boston and then I fly out of Boston. I don't know. What's the longest flight you ever been? I did 25 hours.

Oh, geez. And what do you do, that? Take Xanax. That's it? How big is your sleep? Like, how big is your sleep? Watch movies. Oh, yeah, I get the, you know, I get the bed, the little, you know, you lay down, when you can lay down.

That's crazy. So I did do that. But it's expensive as fuck. Business class and shit. So, yeah. But, yeah, sleep, eat. That's it. I'm so used to it now.

It's like, fuck it. You know what I? Four hours on a fucking flight I would die And I'd be in coach I wouldn't be in the business class Oh yeah I'd fucking

It's terrible word I mean I've done it before Is coach bad International flight I mean You definitely have to take Xanax For that shit

If you get lucky You can get like A row to yourself You know what I'm saying The most I've done is like 12 You can't make it happen But I just recently did that

I mean I went to Australia For New Year's And I flew out there and I did like two days and flew right back home. So he was like, I can't remember like that shit was there.

I spent more time in air than I spent in Australia. Whatever, you know. Yeah, I'm good for six hours. I can entertain myself from here in New York City. I got the computer. I got the fucking, they always have one movie. You know? Yeah, you watch out.

been to so many, I don't watch every last movie on that motherfucker like, damn. Yeah. If you fly nothing left. Let's say you take Delta the same month. It's the same. So if you take two flights in Delta and you take it the first week of the month and the last week of the month, it's

the same featured fucking movie. Which, whatever. But there's always a Tom Cruise movie like something. There's always something in there. But lately they've been getting fucked up on us lately. There's a couple airlines, United American on those long flights

they give you dick. For real? Bro, they give you a dick. Even in first class? You have to pay for it, right? No, even in first class. There's nothing. Yeah, there's nothing. I think I had to have maybe Delta. No, nothing. I just flood Delta, but I have seen that a few times, though. Like, this is a flight a little too long where it don't got no

TVs. I have seen that, though. I have seen that. This is not right. I've been out of people. They're eliminating it. They eliminated. Because then you just, with certain flights, you just expect it. You know, but I've gotten on the plane and was disappointed. Listen, man, if I'm a valued member and I get an upgrade,

and this happens all the fucking time. I'm very thankful, but at the same time, I sit there and I go, four hours, no entertainment. No, nothing. No, nothing. I just got to sit next to this motherfucker. I mean, they could at least have, like, the ones, when I started flying, they had, like, every few rows would have a TV

and, like, the front would have the, they play a movie or so they have, like, a projector. So, Lee, and you'd buy, like, the earphone. So at least you could have that. Listen, there's a percentage. Percentages play the game and everything. I fly a lot. You fly a lot. You expect certain things. You expect delays. You expect whatever.

You know what, man, the last eight years or whatever, I learned how to fly when I was on the road with Rogan. He used to just not fuck with it. Like, listen, I'm drinking first class tickets. My head would blow up. I'm like, I'm a feature act in first class. As long as I blocked him, he would take the window. So nobody would bother.

because he was on Fear Factor. But it was weird how he traveled. So I learned. So all those years, I was getting points on American. Okay. Like, he took Ari to Australia. First class, but he was platinum. He was platinum.

One trip, yeah, one trip will boost you up like a motherfucker. Oh, my God. So I fly, you know, I'm high with American, I'm high with whatever. But you know what, man, when I go to New York from here and back, it's always your blue mint. That's my shit now. I just do Delta. I just been...

And I love Delta, too. I got to call Delta tonight and cancel a flight and reschedule one. We're done. I got to leave Wednesday night to go down to fucking Albuquerque, New Mexico and shit next month. Like April 4th and 5th. I'm going to do the Jackson Wink podcast. Oh, that's tight. When I'm down there.

Hell yeah. Joe Romero has been confirmed for you fucking podcast. Motherfuckers. I'm just going to drop it on you. I'm not going to tell you when. Because that's how I'm going to. I roll, bitches. Hell yeah.

It's just going to be a fucking tweet on your Periscope. And your Oro-Mero be here. And the next day, he's doing Rogan's podcast. That's crazy. We're going to do a Spanglish podcast, which is going to be very interesting. It's going to be amazing. That's tremendous. Man, that last fight was crazy.

You've seen that? Oh, my God. He's kissing him at the end. I love you. He's crazy. Have you seen the end, like, the interview at the end? He said something like, God is God all the time. What does that even mean you all over?

God is God all the time. Oh, yeah, God is God. God is God, book it, I'm sorry. They don't, listen, when you come off from Cuba, there's a lot of stuff you say in the beginning that you don't know what you're saying. Like I told you guys, in 85, I lived in San Francisco. My mother died in 79, and 85, I went in the lamp to San Francisco.

and I walk into the tenderloin and I see all these Cubans and I became friends of these Cubans and I learned about their struggle and why they came over here but the interesting thing was that they were out there slinging. And the one guy, this is exactly what he would say. Okay, when people went by like white people, he would look at them and go, oh yeah, marijuana for Sally.

What? For Sally. Marijuana for Sally. I get it. And people live. And one there, they said, wait,

man, what are you saying to these people? And he would go Moniwanna for Sali. And I go, what's Sali? And he go,

and he spelled it for him. He's sale. Mm-hmm. But in Spanish, it's Sali. Yeah. Oh, my God. So he kept saying

Mariana for Sali. It's not for Sali. It's for sale. You're fucking. Yeah. That's crazy. This guy went for years with that pronunciation.

They didn't really fucking know. I really, and I knew that growing up how humans turn shit around with their words. Okay. In a funny way when they try to speak English. That's no mind. That's no mind.

That's no mind. That's no mind. They do talk funny, though. My stepfather. It's like real broken English. My stepfather spoke great Spanish, but when he spoke English, it sounded terrible. And as I got old, then when my friends would come over,

he would try to be cool. And he would go, hey, motherfocus. And it would sound so horrible how he said it. Hey, more than focus. You know, my mother knew that, I don't know how to fuck she knew this, bro. When we were, you know, I moved to North Bergen when I was 10.

So when I was 12, my neighbor on that block was predominantly Italian, John Zanati, the Clements's, Mr. Otino, Kathy Ortiz and Valentin, them next to me. The people next to me were the aurochs. The people next to them were

the speciales who were Sicilians and the people next to them were the fucking Timmy, whatever the fuck. That his dog his teeth were all chiseled to the bone because he would chase rocks. You would throw a rock up to him. He would chew on rocks.

He was a big dog that was beautiful. But for some reason, Timmy, whatever dog, he had a... This kid's with Timmy. If I'm 55, Timmy's probably because when

how is fucking 13 Timmy was about six and Timmy was a beautiful little boy who had this dog with him with no leash. It was a different time then. This is crazy. I'm talking about this is 1978

and he would throw rocks from him every day and the dog would fucking pick up and bring it to him and the dog would never bite you nothing like that and his father had chickens

his father was yoke and he was a solid dude I don't remember his mother, but he had an older brother who was out there, dog, where the buses don't run. It was the time we were kids, right? And he was tough to boot. He turned out to become a heroin dude.

I don't even know what he is. I think he died. But when we were like 13 or 12, we used to go to the woods in the summer. And we heard some shit, and we walked up there, and it was Timmy's older brother. I can't remember his name right now.

fucking a chick both of them bone-ass naked out in the open with a blanket in the hole like they dug a hole to try to go

under the hole what the fuck that's where I got the idea for the time when I took that chick home and she let me

finger her and then she told me she was gonna let me fuck her and shit and the next night it's snow and I built

a little fucking glue that's who I stole the idea from from Timmy whatever his fucking name was his brother

because his brother a thing like a trench where you couldn't see him. Like he was a paratrooper hiding from airplanes and shit. There was a soccer field up there. So it was like this, slanted. So you had to walk through shrubbery and shit. So we went up to,

we caught him fucking, we heard him fucking and we walked up to the top, right? We were kids. And she had a hairy pussy. Her name was Angel and she had a sister. There were one, two sisters that didn't go to my school. They went to a school called Franklin School.

And there were two sisters, you know, one year old and the other, and both of them. I forgot what their name were Italian. You know, those dark Italians, beautiful. He had this chick, bone-ass naked, outside fucking us. So we're up there watching her. Our faces are all red. We had to be really young because we were, like, in shock. You remember the first time you saw sex?

Yeah. You weren't in shock. Like, when you weren't supposed to see it. It was kind of creepy. Okay. The first time you saw sex that you weren't supposed to see it. It's kind of creepy.

It wasn't a pleasant fucking experience for you. They'd fuck with your head for a few days. You didn't really understand what the fuck is going on. Like when I was a kid one time, there was this dude that would come to my mother's bar. His name was Arnardo. I loved him to death. But he would fuck with me when I was a kid.

Like when I would see him and goes, are you still pissing sweet? Do you have to tell me I know Luce? And I would look and I'm like, what the fuck's he said? He would say creepy things to me in front of my family. And everybody would laugh. You know, he would ask me if I got my dick sucked yet. Oh, shit.

And I'd be... How are you there? I had to be 12 or 13. Oh, damn. When I first got, like, a girlfriend, they went nuts. The people around me went nuts. They tormented me. Every time I went to my mother's bar, she's sucking your dick.

What are you doing? She's sucking a little pussy. What's it tastes like? That's got it. Crazy. When you were an eight years old? No, I wasn't eight. I was about 12. In the sixth, no, I met that girl the one I got left back over

in the seventh grade. Dog, I started dry hump, and she told me she told me she was going to give me a slice. Then she had, then she reneged on the deal. It drove Uncle Joey crazy. I couldn't study. I quit karate. I quit playing basketball. I was a broken man.

It was the first time I had ever been in love, man. I'm the first time you were in love. You got your shit broken? Yeah. How old were you? I mean, same situation with me. I fucked up in school over a girl, and I tried to tell myself it wasn't really a girl.

But I remember I was in 10th grade, and I was dating a senior. She caught me in, like, 10th grade English or something. She was like, because I didn't tell her what grade I was in? You know what grade I was? And I remember from that day, I just started skipping classes to, you know,

fuck with her and shit. But I never went back to school really, so I ended up quitting high school because of a girl. But I was trying to tell myself, I dropped out of school to sell drugs and shit like that, but no. Really, it was over the fucking girl, man. Oh, my God.

That first heartbreak is a motherfucker. And she really stopped fuck with me because I was in the Tim Graze. She found out the truth eventually, you know? But, yeah, so that was hurt broken over that. I was like that girl. I fell in love with her probably, like, and dog, I went the whole thing. I went the whole thing that Lee went through. When you fuck with Spanish women, that's a different game.

Oh, shit. Like, it started, it fucked up. Like, I had to start. First, I hung out with a brother, but a brother. but a brother was older than me and he had a sister and it turned out that that sister was the hottest chick

in the fucking class type of shit and I kind of had a crush on it you know you look at and go Jesus that girl is fucking beautiful she was Cuban but she looked more French and fucking I started hanging out with him more and more and I started hanging out with her

and that's something out I don't know I just phone I just fucking with a dog that just isn't love She had your head go crazy. She got my heart beating shit. So I asked to go to the movies and the grandmother came.

That type of shit. Yeah. Chaparot? Yeah. And I pay for her and the grandmother. What the fuck? And then we went together. The grandma told me that?

The grandma would have been paid if you covered. No, you want to impress grandma. You got to pop to 20. I guess you right. So I took them for fucking. I took them to the cinema. And then we went to Carvel for ice cream. And then we went home.

and we and her talked on the front porch for about 20 minutes and then we said, we'll see each other, and that's how it started. It was just a simple romance. Simple romance. And then her and I started roller skating. Okay. So every Saturday, Uncle Joey would go over a house with shine shoes

and a brand new iron shirt, colon on. And we go to Paramus Maw and Roller, a skate around to all the hits. You know, we'd do that. We would hold hands and roller skate together. I was such a fucking idiot. I was such a fucking idiot.

You can't comprehend. I fell for everything. We're hardbeated Uncle Joey. I was the biggest sucker. You know I go. And then, like, I kissed her. We kissed, and that was it. Like, we had, like, a secret deal.

A brother couldn't know. But at that time, Donnie Osmond was big. Oh, shit. And on Friday night, she would always watch Donnie Osmond because she was in love with Donnie Osmond. And I would sit there ready to cry, Lee, ready to cry. Why were you watching with her? Because I wanted to be tortured. Like, all those years were fucking Paul.

I just want to be tortured. Let's see here. And take this abuse. No, no, no. And I would sit. No, you didn't go to fucking shit. You didn't want to see. No, I want to go to Long Beach.

I knew you. You're fucking Momo. I would sit there on Friday nights with her and the grandmother and watch fucking Donnie and Marie. Fumann. Fumant. She would cry how beautiful he was. And I was just a skinny little fucking dopey kid and shit with a polyester shirt on this shit. And I'd be sitting there all jealous.

And I'd sit there and I'd want to say that Donny Asim was a faggot. But I knew it even at that age, if I said down there as well, it was a faggot. He was hating. And then her fucking, she had like a, one of those, you know, when you have those bowls, you have those fish bowls. Okay. And she had a fish in there, a couple of fish in there. And then when she got home, and her kitten drowned, trying to get the fish.

What the fuck? So I helped her bury the fish, and that's when I got in with her. I helped to bury the fish. And I held her. And then we held hands and shit. So from then on, for like three months after school, right before we go to a house we go in a parking garage and we make out for like 15 minutes

and she'd let me drop the hips and shit and I would come all over myself and I'd go home all confused and shit so that went on for like three months and shit after that you're like fuck school oh my god then we kind of went out you know we were talking on the phone all night and shit and then we started fucking playing hooky

and going back to my house and drive up it's over there no no no no Before we started playing hooky, we would just go back to my house and dry hump, dry arm, dry up. So about a quarter of the five, before her father, the mother got me. And we would dry hump, the earth went and fire. We would just dry hump like a motherfucker, the earth was going to fire. And then we started playing hooky.

And then... That same thing had me. One day, her and I played hooky, and we went back to her house, and the mother was waiting for us. Oh, you got caught? Yeah, we got caught. So we weren't allowed to really see each other. For like a month, we were both punished from each other.

It was fucking horrible. I was late. I couldn't do homework. I couldn't eat. You couldn't think. I couldn't. I needed to see her. I can't live without her.

I quit karate. I stopped watching TV. What the fuck? Oh my God, I broke apart on the scenes, guys. Why would you quit karate? because I couldn't even focus I was in so much lovely I did not know how to handle it

you know Bruce Lee had died this was just a string that were all linked together of my mental destruction as a teenager and it hit me hard but we just got separated and then we hooked back up and we had a plan that the last day of school

and by this time by this time I had all D's. I couldn't get myself out of that. I had all these. I couldn't get myself out of that. So the last day of school, they didn't put me in the eighth grade.

They put me in the other seventh grade. That means I had to go to summer school to get into the eighth grade. And by that time, I didn't give a fuck. Because tomorrow, she was going to give me a piece of pussy. And the next fucking day, she said she couldn't do it.

I can't do it. I want to be a virgin for a little while longer. I still want a dry hump. I'll still let you squeeze my tits. I mean, I wasn't even sucking the titty. Oh, my God. That's how much in love I was. Dry hump is it?

And then, bro. And then I started going to summer school, but we only time we could dry hump then. We had horns because her parents were watching it, and my mother was watching me. The only only one way I could dry hump, but it was between 10 and 12 every day. So I stopped going to summer school Just to dry up And I failed. Even after she reneged?

You so fucked up summer school? I was in love. Did you have to pay for summer school? No, it was free service. No, it was a free service. They make you pay for summer school now. Dogg, I was in love guys. And I failed.

And I thought because I knew Carmine Bousanao that would let me skip. Oh, my God. And they were like, nah, it's not going to work. I'm like, I asked Mr. Dalton. Because Mr. Dalton, the one principal came up to me. He ran the summer school program. He's like, hey, bro, you missed three sessions.

So you're done. I go, Mr. Dalton, please, this is something I could do. He goes, no. He goes, have Carmine talk to you. Talk to Carmine. Let him handle this. The whole summer I waited until, like, fucking two days before school. I asked him, and he goes, I can't help you.

You fucking, they fucked up in summer school. I didn't tell my parents, nothing. I was ashamed, bro. And by this time, Her parents didn't want us to see each other. I was fucked up. And I got left back. I'm in the seventh grade,

the eighth grade. We're all looking at me creepy. Yeah, you can't get left back. Oh, my God. There was no therapy in those days. That was no therapy. Nobody you could turn to.

No, you got to go off and deal with this. A man. You got to deal with that shit. You ain't loved. And people would tell me, how are you doing? Are you over? I'm over. I'm over.

I stopped eating. And I went back. to karate. And you know what? She lit a fire under my ass. Now I started paying attention to school more. And then it was funny. Years later, she came to me to bail her out.

Her and her boyfriend broke up. Oh, wow. Before the prom. And she knocked on my door when my mother died, after my mother died. And she asked me if I could cover the spread, if I could take her to the prom and do her a favor. And she goes, if we're doing it, I'll have sex with you. My tits.

She had had an accident. Her tits got big. And she just scared me, bro. At that time, you know what I'm saying? I'm on movies. He broke my fucking heart. You made me get left back. I ain't that stupid to fall back into your diabolical webb.

Damn. That was strong. You were strong for that one. I might have tapped up. No, I didn't. No, no, no, no. And I was no, no, no, no. And I was no sex machine at that age.

But I knew I didn't want to go back to that dark place. That bitch had me listening to Jermaine Jackson. Oh, my God. That's how depressed I was. Jermaine left the Jackson five. And you're listening. And he went solo, and I would sit there and listen to that album over and over. Was that album good?

Yeah. The album had a song. I never knew Jermaine solo was any good. All right. See if YouTube. Let's go out tonight. Jermaine Jackson. Hold on, hold on.

Let me think of something. Hold on. We're going through it. So are you. I'm all right Me too I'm good I do good

It ain't Take the mushrooms Like nothing Dang You know what Put on Jermaine Jackson Let's put on

the computer here Let me just check this out You gotta hear Jermaine Jackson When he went solo Doug This is crazy

I'm putting Up Yeah You said A Jermaine Jackson Oh I had That's what I was

Michael Michael Jackson I left the fucking Jackson Five This chick fucking dump me And now

Jermaine Was the Look at Look at Jermaine. Look how he looked now. Look at that cut now. Let's see. He don't even look real.

He looks prosthetic. What was you listening to on Jermaine Jackson? So press Jermaine Jackson. What is it? Hold on here. Man, what is a dynamite? Put in my my touch of Matt.

There you go. My touch of Matt. My touch of man. You ever hear this? No. Here you go. Here's Jermaine Jackson coming at you. When he broke apart from my touch of madness,

listen to Jermaine Jackson. Oh, shit. You think you come here. He was dating a sister, right? He married the older. I mean, the daughter. The daughter. Yeah.

Look at the natural. Yeah. Heartbroken. I was shredded. Yeah, Uncle Joe, you torture it into a minute. For a moment. Moody little seventh grader

Oh my god I was torn apart No idea You know you drive it to your trip Would you like I walk A country mile Yeah

For your touch of your hand A scroll Of the desert sand Oh yeah Would you like tears in your eyes Yeah I put it on the cassette and gave it to her. She didn't want it.

Oh, my God. This is like a real movie right now. This is terrible. You had no idea. Right now, I'm starting to feel it. Like, I was in the seventh grade again. I'm listening to this. Come on, man.

Okay. You get into sin. Touch of madness. All right. You're killing already. I'm depressed enough. You feel it. I'm going to have to eat that Xanax.

I do. me at the fucking 7-11. The Redder dudes get you a Zinnix? God damn. The weirdest fucking day today. It's been weird out. Today I took my wife. I went home after fucking kickbox. I didn't have much

going on. I had a ride. I had sent some shit to some people. So when I took care of that, my wife came back from yoga. She was young. I'm not really yo hungry. I go to that place and get one of those almond milk smoothies in there. It's all fruit. And there's

protein. It's like fucking six points or I get the fucking smoothie which is pressed apple juice and fruit. So I'm good to go, hold on. There was one other thing I wanted to see it in there. Who else was I listening to that time that was

Is it a Jermaine Jackson or no? No, I don't think of your death, but that's what Jermaine was putting out. That's how heartbroken I was. You gotta go through that though. Everybody got to get through that. What was your first heartbreak, Lee? How old were you? Well, like, it's weird because I don't really have, like, she was, like, she was, like, kind of like my girlfriend, but not really. Like, we were young.

Like, I was, like, middle school because she left in high school. But she was my neighbor. We were, like, we would take our dogs on walks. Like, you think it was hard to get with me to walk now? I'd be walking every day for, like, hours because she was cute. She was the first girl. Let me touch her boobs. Oh, shit.

Oh. And then, like, I, like, it was like, God, yeah, that was weird. Yeah, mine was worse with me I was with my, you know, back back to their high school sweethearts, you know, I was with mine But we used together all the way like past And I was like really like started making music And I was going to New York all the time

So I would leave, like go to New York to record And I just remember coming back one time And I card her like, what's up? And she just like, I'm with my boyfriend Like, what's your boyfriend? Like, what the fuck? And that's just how we, that shit fucked me up. How old are?

I was in my 20s then. So, but we lived together all the type of shit. Like, we had just recently moved out. You know what I'm saying? No, I got my shit ripped apart in the seventh grade. And then I got my shit a little tougher. Mm-hmm.

And the eighth grade is shit. I started stroking. And on the eighth grade, I went on the dick slinging. I got good at who. I wasn't slinging dick, but I was sucking titty. And I was starting to dumb girls. Okay. Like, I dumped this girl for a different Irish girl.

And then I was swap and spit with her best friend. And it was, I wanted to tear that. That's how usually happened. Oh, my God. All it takes is one. I was fucking heartbroken. All the take is one. But I can never get a girlfriend.

That's a different situation. I would get my little fix every night. At that age, I'd always hook up with somebody we'd make out. She'd let me finger her. In those days, those girls would just grab your dick from your outside. But at least I shot a love in their hand. In my mind, you know what I'm saying? In my mind, they would, they would never.

I would never even dream of taking my dick out at that age for a woman to give me a hand job. I would be embarrassed. Like, that's how Catholic I was. Wow. They would rub my dick and I'd be a little nervous. Like, this chick, has she sucked dick before? Like, I was one of those guys. It was really creepy after that heartbreak for me.

And then I got my heart broken again in 82 in like a old. weird situation kind of way, 82, 83. But it was one of those quick heartaches. You ever have one of those? I mean, the best way to get over is is to get another one. You just got to move over.

No, I was one of those guys that my confidence would not let me fucking talk to anybody for four or five weeks. Just stumped you. Yeah, it would stump me. I just want to be alone. I go to the movies by myself. I need Chinese food by myself.

I'd smoke popcorn. I'd smoke part of my son. I know what you mean, though. It was like, you can't stop thinking about that shit. Just stay on your mind when you're going that type of shit. You got to get over that shit. And then in 84. And then that was like you weren't really doing drugs and shit like that being.

Oh, please. That was part of the fucking situation. And then in 84 I fell in love again. But I found love, you ever fall in love? And I did that twice in my life. I can't lie. You ever fall in love with somebody? But you know it ain't going to work.

But you still do it anyway. It's just fucked up. Yeah, this ain't good. Yeah. This is never what I'm talking about when I got left like that. The one that left me like that from, you know. Oh, my God. Going to be a rapper.

No, no. Becoming who I am. In 84. The heartbreak was so bad. I didn't get a piece of pussy for 16 months after that. Damn. You know this to not want to have sex for 16 months? I remember I first got out of jail kind of kind of creeped out like I like most people

think you get out of jail you just want to instantly like get some bitches and fuck back can I was like kind of like shell shock still it took me like down there a month before I started oh I had 18 months and it wasn't that I didn't want to it just just was dry they didn't want to it just got dry but you leave no we gotta go on the harmony and see what's out there you know yeah oh no yeah you got to hear from all directions you've been regrouping lately I'm watching you've been regrouping. You're going back to the gym.

Oh shit, shit, Lee. He's doing open mics. You ready to get back out there? He's regrouping. He's going to start juicing again pretty soon. Oh, shit. No, that thing almost gave me diabetes because Dean Del Rey got diabetes from it and like the day I stopped.

Got diabetes. Like, Yeah. And the day I stopped. From juicing. Like my legs were like, it's tingling and stuff. So I was like, oh, it's not looking back on it. I'm glad I stopped.

So you think he was getting diabetes? Because you put so many. apples and grapes in it to like too much sugar to get the taste of the goddamn kale out of it that apparently you can give yourself diabetes so no disrespect Dean looks great now. Fuck that I'm eating like I

want to right now I stop smoking cigarettes I gotta get some type of joy so I've been smashing shit I don't give a fuck fuck it I'm trying you cook no you don't even try to cook your wife cook

no no see we got every night damn there Oh, Jesus Christ. So bad. Breakfast, too? I don't really eat breakfast like that. But I eat out. You did come in and you're like, 2 p.m. is a little early for a meeting.

I'm like, 2 p.m. is a little early. But I guess. It depends on, because I'm saying I'm out here. I'm going to be partying. Plus, you know that time. I don't know. You might be right. But I don't know what I'm getting to the night.

If I have a late night, then 2 p.m. is a little early for me. I might still be. I might don't get up to noon. I did that last night I went to the store last night Had a good time What time to hang out till last night I can't even remember

I just remember waking up And it was only 10 minutes A lobby car Like fuck So I had to rush And get up out of there But Got the job done

Now I got a night to myself I'm gonna figure it out It's probably go to the store again I was proud of me When do you leave? I'm gonna stay a few more days I think I don't know

I'm keeping it open No music why you're here Nothing Musically. Sanging up. Just chilling, looking around. It's cold out here, though. I thought I was going to get to some good weather.

It's like the same as it is out here at home. It's like the same kind of weather. It's not to all the chill side. I could wear my fur off this motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? That was pretty amazing when I tell you. That is a beautiful. Let me tell you something.

You had those white people crazy. I know. When you're a black man with a fur with a white woman, driving motherfuckering crazys and shit. This is true. As soon as I saw you sitting next to that chick, there was a chick at the counter and there was no spaces, they all looked at you and that poor chick just sat there and crunched over,

like all creeped up. You didn't see that? It was fucking crazy, though. A black man with a fur dog. That makes people know. Especially at sporting events. Yeah, that makes people nervous. You like Frank Lucas or that motherfucker, man.

Yeah, fuck, yeah. Some player shit. That's what I bought that code to go to UFC. Yeah, but you got to remember, that shit is acceptable in Detroit. Yeah, but. In Austin, Texas, don't think of people? They were not ready for. I had checked the weather, and I was like, oh, shit, it's cold out there.

Fuck, and you never get a chance to wear fur in Texas. I think people in Texas would like fur. Don't they like to hunt? Isn't that good? I'm not saying that. Texas is one of those states that's a men's a muckl's type. It's so hot out there and person can't dress like that, so they're going to see shit. it's immense a

multi-type of stick So like that Just the fact That he's black It's a little bit A black with a fur fucking jacket A fur coat in Texas And you fucking

That's going to life Nopren easily I can pin anything on here With that I can just walk in there And say Can I talk to you As I have a second

Negro Negr coming in here With a fur on In motherfucking January That's two years Just that Turn around That's two years

And then when you get to the station, where do you think they're going to find in that mink? A pound the heroin, the key, the who killed Castro, they're going to pin everything on you. And you're going to be looking at 20 of life for wearing a fucking mink.

It is crazy. Listen, bro, I used to go on the road in the mid-90s to the end of the 90s. I used to work tribut ones. And I used to go to the weird places. And I tell you what I saw. I didn't see racism.

but I saw control. Do you follow what I'm saying? Yeah. Like when I would go to places in Idaho and shit. I mean, Detroit used to be pretty much segregated like that, like, you know. But no, no, no. It's a different type of control. It was, like, I would go to, like, some place in Boise.

I'd do comedy. And after the comedy show, the DJ comes on. Everybody hangs out. And it'd be in places where there were, you know, 90% of the population was fucking white you have to assume. Nah, I'm lying to you because I got Coke. There was some Mexican

But I noticed one thing I noticed that there was black men out that night single. They kept their black in check so they were allowed to talk to the white chicks and this is like a rural place. These white chicks are dying. It's like a black thing that can get it over with.

So it's a weird What are you in facts, Danny? I mean, I don't you say. It's a fact. They've been hearing about it for years. I mean, they grew up Christian. No one's ever said that about a Jewish thing. No, because...

I don't want to get it out of the way. You want to get it off the way. They got to dip it to the dark side. They go they won't get colored in. Yeah, their father's been telling them for 20 years. Don't pay black people. Now they see a good-looking guy like Danny Brown. You know what I'm saying?

You got to get colored in. And they look at them. they touch his skin just to make sure wow. They've never seen a black man before, but they've heard of a legend. Idaho, it's crazy, though. It's crazy. There's a couple of places.

Boise is crazy. They're still fucking, Boise's, Boise's wide open. I haven't been there in fuck 20 years, but that was one town that was very, we were starting already. The Boise Funny Bone in 1995 was one of the best clubs

in the country. top 10 clubs in the country. The chick who booked it, knew the business, and she got people to go up there, and the hotel they put you in was a old motherfucking hotel. That was gigantic Danny Brown. It was like from 1871, so everything would creep. Oh, shit.

Everybody was cool. The bars were cool. You know, I went out a couple nights, but I was also fienden when I went there. And, like, the third night, I had ass but all there was was met speed at the time

I bought it I'm here for seven nights I gotta put someone my fucking nose I gotta fucking improvise a little bit live a little and I was up the whole

fucking weekend dog I was opening for Dave Titus is that his name Chris Titus Chris Titus in Boisey Idaho it had to be 1990 fucking

six and I got I did a line of fucking speed on a Friday night it was considered speed I went over to the bar I shared a picture a beer with some waitresses and waiters and they gave me the package there

it was like 10 bucks okay and I went in the bathroom I did too fucking blast dog you knew it was me yeah because there was nothing else going on what am I gonna do I'm a fucking junkie it's 1995

you know what I'm ready to go at that book speed I'm on the road I'm living on the fucking room. I'm waking up and whatever pops in. Whatever opens up. So I got there. In those days, comedy used to be Tuesday through Sunday.

I think that club was Wednesday through Sunday. So, dog, that's five fucking nights. By Friday night, I'm scratching. You know what I'm saying? So Friday night, I got a package at the bar. I did two bumps. It burned the shit on my nose. I could feel it in my eyeballs and shit.

and I went out and guys out, you know, like I said, I was always like a Budweiser or two and I got to go. I got a fucking gas. I went through two pitches of fucking beer by myself, guys, like in fucking one hour. And then I got a little creepy. It got creepy in there, and I said, I got to go.

And I went back to the hotel room and they had cable and shit, like Showtime and HBO. And at one point, they had some dirty shit on and I jerked off. It was like, next thing you know, it was five in the fucking morning. Yeah, time to fly. And the place is creeping. The hotel room was creeping.

And I had a little bit left. And I'm like, you know what? I'm coming down. I don't need that little bit. I'm just going to save it for tomorrow night. Next thing I had to sit down at seven of the morning dog. Next thing I had to lay down and my heart started pounding. Like it was going to fly out of my chest.

I had to get up and leave the apartment. I started getting paranoid. I heard every creek. So I didn't sleep all Friday night And then I went and did both shows Friday Saturday, and Saturday night I didn't sleep I didn't fall asleep till Sunday afternoon Like at 1 o'clock

And I had to get up at 6th to do the last show of the week And I went back to the hotel And I just went to sleep till the next day Like a fucking 12th, a minute, a knock on the door That sounds horrible Two fucking days I was awake Two bumps Two little fucking blast

I must have jerked off Two thousand times Hell yeah A heart banging out your chest You try to do anything at that point You could not believe it I could not You smoke cigarettes then?

No I didn't smoke a thousand cigarettes No No I didn't do nothing then But smoke weed I kept leaving the hotel to smoke I was smoking

Joint after joint I don't know I didn't know what was going on The weather was nice You know There was like a little alleyway or something behind the hotel where you could smoke everywhere Even the comic set when you go to Boise There's a place by the dumpster

It was a horrible experience because every time I thought I was tired I would lay down and my heart would start fucking pound That's nothing worse than that man And this had to be like 96 But this was seen You know me dog I'm international When I was locked up in 80 years on Mondays

this dude John Clark would bring in his girlfriend were bringing it in a bubble in her mouth and it was minimum security in a balloon so they would make out and then he'd happen in his mouth he wouldn't even swallow it he'd just take it out during the visit

or he'd leave it in his mouth and since there was minimum security nobody would really search him he'd take the visitations like me on off days you took a job in the kitchen and you took different days off So I would take like Mondays and Tuesdays for visits because there's nobody else in the room.

You could fuck. Yeah. Plus, you could smuggle shit and nobody knows nothing. Yeah. It was minimum security. The guards didn't get a fuck. Sure. So every Monday I would do speed with that dude.

You kept doing it? In 87 before the... Before the idol... I don't know. I know. And it was different than that tonight was... That thing kept me up. If I would do speed...

Why would you want to be up in jail? Oh, my God. It was crazy. I had a TV in my room. Oh, shit. You know, I had books in my room. I did acid in jail. That's crazy.

With the librarian one night. We stayed up all fucking night, and guards kept walking by us. There was like four of us. The other invicts didn't know that me and the librarian had done the ass. And the guard kept passing by, which they probably wrote us up on a report. Usually they piss you. When guards see that type of. activity the next day you get a year in an ounce

they can't trace acid in your system. Oh really? Not in those days, they couldn't. And all the in big snoo it. Acid in jail, that's like a movie. That's why the people were, because they couldn't test you for acid, so everybody had acid in prison. Jesus. Everybody.

It was everywhere. And you take a hit of acid and sit in your cell. Asset freaks me out, man. Have you freaked out of dollars to You want to smoke some of the assets? Hell no. I'm seeing colors out of the little shrew. I told you giggles and colors right now.

Oh, my God. You're all right, man. I'm doing just the same as you, damn. I'm tight. I'm kicking it. I'm maintaining, man. Me too. Those mushrooms are delicious.

Yeah, it's not bad. Not bad. We got a little kick to them. We've got a little wankle. That's what they're doing. It ain't too crazy. Our time I did some mushrooms. I fucking Lord of the Rings came on.

The motherfuckers came on the TV. I freaked out. I was in Cleveland. I was running up the streets in my socks. It started raining. I thought I was in Tokyo. And there's a long movie. I swear to God.

It was so lit out. You know, Cleveland is not like a lit up place downtown Cleveland, but for some reason that shit, I thought I was in Japan or something. Well, your mushroom and your eyes opened up more, right? Like your eyes dialing this, some shit. Only things. So you get more light. No, Vegas, I've tripped.

Like, I'm done blowing Vegas. Vegas eating, like, uh, edibles the first couple times and walking to the casino at 2 in the morning. Mm-hmm. When it's medium-packed, there's still a couple tables. It's kind of fucking weird when your eye bites up. And you're walking through Las Vegas. I used to have a delivery boy in Vegas.

He used to drop off home. I swear to God, I had a guy in Vegas that all you do is call him. I swear to God, but you could be at whatever hotel you were at. You just called this number. Where are you at? Vegas, man. I'm here. What room?

And, you know, you were a comic. So they would give you a pretty good room. They would upgrade you. And I remember like, you couldn't get up without the card. And he'd tell you, 20 minutes. And the host of the next thing you know. He had the door. Yeah.

He knew everybody in that fucking town. He was paying everybody. He'd come into your hotel room, what do you want? So he would give you an A-ball and then give you a come-down package. What the fuck? Like two Percocets, two Cernets, two fucking... That's tight. So he'd throw it in for the next to tell me.

No, you need that's anything. Oh, my God. I would eat everything. I would just eat the whole come down back. Whenever the Coke ran out. So I would fucking go right to bed. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah, no, that shit. Do you think he's still around? Who? That guy. I know for a fact he's still around. Really? I said to have a Christmas car. No, no, no, no.

But it's crazy because even for years, you know, I mean, I haven't done coke 10 years. But I found out who and what he really did. I was introduced to him at the comedy store in a really weird way. And he gave me a card. And then my buddy, who I was copping from, that introduced me to him, told me if you're ever in Vegas and he needs something, call that card.

Oh, that clue. At that time, I wasn't going to Vegas. And all of a sudden, I started getting work in Vegas with Rogan, and I would go to Vegas with him. and call him the night before any time. And call me when you land. It was that easy. I land, me and Rogan and Eddie and Duncan and Ari would go eat.

We'd all go back to our rooms before the way in. I would call him, and within fucking 20 minutes, I'd have a package in my room with a come-down package. I already had the night set. Easy call. I'd hide the Coke. I'd do the show with Joe Rogan. And when he went on stage,

Pugh! And you can call that number as many times as you want. Damn. Ain't nobody going to answer you. Vegas is crazy, man. Every time I'm in Vegas, I never leave my hotel. Really? You don't gamble?

I do. And we get super late, and I just can't... Dude, and I can't sleep, so I like, fuck it. But I gamble to lose, man. I never gamble to the intention to win. What are you talking about? You gamble to lose? I just gamble to lose.

I mean, I don't play. Intentions on winning. So I'd just be betting crazy doing dumb shit. And I win sometimes. I win. I recklessly gambled. What's your game of choice? I play, um, I play craps, of course, but I, one time my favorite actually is just war.

I was in Australia. Oh, damn. I was playing. $100 hands of war. Oh, my God. I'll encourage them, please, because we'll start playing fucking war. It's the easiest because I don't got time for all that thing. Oh, my God.

You could lose your entire life at war. Are you serious? Because it's just one card. I did. I lost $2,000. It was a bend in. Great. Like, fuck.

Oh, my God, Danny. All right. But no, what happened? I got up. I was up. Like, I started. Yeah, you could get, like, you could get, like, you went into it. I got up quick as fuck.

You know what I'm saying? And then I just bet, bet it all on one way. Who was talking about gambling to the other day? That was a gambler. Was it you and me that he was. I wasn't me in Denver. Yeah. The kid in Denver that we were talking about Las Vegas, the comedian, real cool guy.

the second night. He was talking about he was a gambler. Oh, yeah, a Brand Tobler. Yes, he was talking about that he was a gambler dude in Vegas and how they didn't lose. It's crazy. It's a truth. Cazinos, man.

I see this addictive, man. You know, I've seen Detroit change from them putting the casinos in there. You know, all those old people that used to work at, like, the factory jobs and Chrysler and shit like that, and they pretty much just spent all the retirement money at the casinos. So now all the motherfuckers is fucked up now. Yeah. whenever, like the people, the old ladies

who play the slots all the time. They fucked up, none. That shit. Fucked up the city. Like, all the older people who had money, man. Casinos, man. You're seeing it. Like, that's what our neighborhood is just looking to where they're looking. But the traders don't come up. It's changing. It's scary when you go to Vegas.

And they have, like, a line for people who are doing their check cashing at the casino. I'm like, oh, come on. Don't do it there. Oh, man. That was another crazy addiction I went to for about. four months. Gambling?

And I took a sports betting. Oh, yeah. And I took a beating at the age of 19. And I ended up okay. I ended up running away. I maybe owned $8,000 or something. But my buddy got into a deep hole. And I'll tell you guys, I didn't like paying the fucking bookie.

It bothered me to pay them on fucking Thursdays, especially when you have to work for the money. You got a day job? You got to pay somebody on a Thursday because you want to bet fucking some stupid. fucking team and that's why I stopped. That's nice getting paid, man.

But you know what? The odds are always against you. I never won. You're born to lose. I swear always lost gambling, man. We just shoot dice in the bathroom at school and I just always lost. So gambling was never my thing.

It was weird. Dice somehow got to my extremely suburban high school. You know, shooting dice at your school? Yeah, absolutely. I swear to God, in a luncheon. I don't know.

know how it got there, but we just started playing. Crabs? No, it was, I think it was just diced. I think it was just a higher number. Okay. Oh, but... No, no, no, no, no. No, no. We're 7-11. It was seven. I used to come up on side-bitten, but never just me on the dice, it's a rat. Yeah, I was really tight with my mom. I made 725 an hour.

I was, I didn't want... I did a couple times. You know, it's so easy to really... Like, I just read this book, the corporation when that's coming out in the 20th. and it was basically revolved around sports betting. It was revolved around numbers betting and how this guy made this business just, you know,

he was making an enormous product of profits. And it does it. Like they described bookmakers that weren't knowledgeable that could be up one day, hundreds or thousands, and the next day they got cocky and they didn't dump off enough. And they got some,

all you need is one guy, guy that come in and place $50 on a number. That's $25,000 cash. And people did it all the time. No. My mom would pop a number 50 bucks. 50 bucks every day? Fuck, that was a... Are you crazy? My mom would put

50 on 604, 517, and 516 every fucking day of the week. That was just a one number's guy. That's crazy. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Fuck. No, bro, that's a... Like I said, me and my buddies,

and it's weird because my... The family I lived with after the bend is the runnies. Mr. Runny, God rest of soul. Fucking straight up, fucking gentleman, great guy. He was the head of this place where I had dad, like, knitting stuff. And he used to tell us,

listen, guys, if you want to gamble for entertainment, that's what he would do. And he'd go, once you start going on either, you guys are going to lose. And we're like, fuck you. Because everybody trying to get rid quick. We know what we're doing. You don't know what you're doing.

And he would tell me, look, I bet one game, I made $25. And I didn't get off the couch. Next Saturday when I go to the bar, I pick up the $25 and I drink for free all fucking day. He got a great logic, not us. We thought we knew more than him. And all, he included his son, me, My friend Fernie, my friend Stinky, we all got into fucking huge holes. The shit I had to do to bail out of holes, one time I, we bet, and when we were 18,

we bet a Monday night football for $2,500. It's like me putting a bed in with you, Danny. I don't know how the fucking I call you on Thursday and tell you, I don't have your money. I'm your friend, bro. You're going to put me in this position? So the dude I put to bed in was a high school teacher, mine. That was a good dude. How is that?

Me and him had a good time in the last two years. You know what I'm saying? He was a good dude. How was you making sports? So we ended up robbing the fucking jewelry store to pay the guy of fucking money. Yeah, man, because, you know, it was just kid shit. That's fucking crazy. Betting Monday and football.

I'm getting clubbing. You have no idea. idea the beatings I took sports betting when I was in high school. And people tell you, you got to be crazy. That's an addiction. And then wait until basketball comes out. Once basketball comes out, that's every day. That's how they get you.

They get you every day. Next thing you know, you're betting basketball. And you're betting basketball parlay is to catch up. And then you're losing that that, so you give hockey a try. What the fuck? You don't know what hockey is. You bet sports you don't even know about? Sometimes you call a friend of yours.

Let me ask you a question. You're a hockey guy, right? Yeah. In fact, I'm watching a game right now. You're kind of interrupting it, Joey. Listen, I've got to ask you. If you had a bet between this team and this team, who would you bet? And he'd go, well, I like this team, and this team's defensive this.

And sometimes I get lucky with him. Sometimes I'd win with him. But for the most part, I just kept taking a beating guys. Yeah. And some bookies I paid back. Some I paid half. to bother me again, you know. It was just stupid, you know, stupidity.

I was a couple times, yeah, more than a couple times. I bet way over my head, and I was just getting in trouble with people and disappear for a while. Oh, shit. Running off, you finessing. See you soon. See you soon.

Running off of the plug. Love you. No, we never had that in Michigan. I don't think, I mean, I guess probably like back in the day, But I don't know nothing about cards. Yeah. I don't know. I played dice, too.

I don't remember if I won or not. I don't know nothing about that shit. Like, I just know that I'm not good at it. Yeah, that's how I just, I do it for fun. Yeah. I appreciate it. I see what you're doing, but it ain't for me. Sometimes I get lucky.

When I'm in Vegas, I still put it better from time to time. Don't get me wrong. But it's not that craziness that I live. And I know $50 ain't going to make me. break me and I'm there anyway to watch the UFC. I might as well put it better. Have you ever won anything on those

video poker games? Yeah, a couple times. This last time I went, I hit, like, three, four, in a lot. But who the fuck are you kidding? You're still down. I hit on the phone.

You're still down. The video roulette one, I hit on one of them one time. Oh, yeah? Like 500. Yeah, it's all. You could go and have a great time in Vegas. I like doing it a night. by myself

when you're stoned and you can't sleep anyway and it's better than sitting in your room and watch the TV you go to the stands and you just play like like... That's it

bro, you take 50 bucks no me can't have to he addicted no no no no I am addicted but I'm I don't go to the ATMs at the casinos that's the rule I have oh just don't go to ATMs

whatever you come with that's what it is no I'll be fucked up because you get that book. I get that bull. I'm not saying I haven't gone. I broke it a couple times. When you lose, you be like, fuck that. No, I've lost more than I should have. I've lost more than I should have.

I got to get back. And then you are, it's over with. Once you start thinking like that, you already lost. But like, it's like, the most I've already like a thousand. No, 1400. I mean, I guess I think I'm kind of, I think I'm watching enough basketball, or I think I'll be good with betting on basketball. But I feel like that's just like the kiss of death. Every time I bet on something,

they always lose. Listen, bro. Here's the back. It's so. funny. When I work for a sports betting service, we would have a meeting every day. And, you know, you have to lie on the phone. You have to tell people you're doing 70%. Remember what

the kid was saying? What's the best people could do? Like 60 or 50? 50. And people were saying nobody could do that, you know? And I remember he would always say, he was a smart guy that got a brandy off because I admire him a lot. And a lot of this shit I do today is

because of him. And he used to go listen. It's playing it's simple. You guys type up Art Sleetster. You know, he goes, Art Sleetster, Pete Rose, fucking, all these guys got busted.

They played the game, and they still lost. Michael Jordan. YouTube. You're right. You're right, though. What was the first name? I said? Art. Art Sleetzer. No, let's Google. Art Sleetster, whatever that is, Yahoo, Google.

Football players who gambled I'll take a piece of my friend Medicaid Was he a quarterback? Eric Slitcher Yeah Compulsive gambling Read it

No for four decade Compulsive gambling habit Did he get a nigga ten years I can't see her in my glasses We'll be reading from my uncle Joey I can't see it right now I don't see I gave him 10 years

He committed 20 felonies Yeah God damn Gambled the way much of his Salary somebody stole 1.5 million. This guy went crazy, though. He was a quarterback.

And if you look, there was a couple of them. You know, Pete Rose allegedly gamble. So if these guys were involved in the sport and they couldn't fucking win, how could you fucking win? It's fucking crazy. And they can't win. It's like it.

It's like my dream to be able to go to the tables with that amount of money. But then, Everyone you talk to who has that stack is like I'm down 5,000 today. Like, damn, man. Five thousand. That's what you got to do. I guess you're going to run.

He stole 500,000 from a dozen individuals, including his own father. What the fuck? This is a movie, man. This guy was the first guy. He just got out 2006. I don't want. Oh, a half a million. in restitution.

That's it? Yeah. All right. I mean, but he just did. He did mad years, though. Get the fuck out of here. Poor Archleets, I didn't know. It was that bad.

No, he still, like, he just got out in 2007. He's in prison. Yeah, he's back in there. Gambling. He got the release date 2020. And he got Parkinson's. God damn. Oh, yeah, he's the kiss of death.

This guy couldn't win. This guy, Lee. It was horrible. He called a wire fraud, bank fraud. Yeah, no, they went crazy. I'm talking about this was in 2011, though. That's crazy. Still out here, though.

After he did 10, did another 10. Oh, my God. He got out for 10. Backer did the same shit. Some people addicted to jail. That's what that shows me. This guy was, this all started with fucking gambling football. Did he get suspended?

Did he say that it get suspended? Yeah, obviously. Or thrown out of the league, I don't remember what happened. Man. He was arrested in 87. For what? In multi-million dollar sports betting operation. He pled guilty to illegal gambling in April,

and the commissioner didn't let him sign with the team. Was he banned for life? No, I think he played again. No. No. He said it said after that that in parts of three seasons, he played only 13 games. Yeah, I think maybe a primarily backup or mom-bop roles.

He signed briefly in the Canadian League and then the Arena League. This poor bastard, you know. He played arena football. I saw my mom. My mom was a fucking gambling junkie. And her thing was horses and baseball dog. And I think back now, you know, like, Bukkees were called on the regular.

What's going on? What do you want to do tonight? And she loved chasing it. There's people who really love chasing it that way. For me, it's a scary fucking life, man. That's scary, man. It's a fucking terrible fucking way. You know what?

Just go play the lotto. You're going to drop a dollar anyway? Nobody gets their feelings hurt. I'm like, you go, I don't know. We know no success stories out of this, though. You know? I, you know, listen, if I was good at it, I love going to Vegas and betting on a fight and winning.

Yeah, yeah. I love it. It's different. I look at an undercar. That's different. I love it. I feel like them boxers, they'd be throwing shit too bright, man. I don't even, nah.

I go, the first thing I do when I check in, if I'm working with Joe, but when I'm checking on the way in, I come down, and I go to the board and I look at the line. Mm-hmm. And I don't even look at the, two main fights. I look at the undercard. That's what the money is.

It's gambling. It doesn't matter what you bet. You want to sit there being Johnny Swarming. Or you want to win money. It's that simple. I just always bear on the underdog. Yeah. And then they start fucking with you.

They get you with the fucking side bets. Yeah. That's what it gets you. That's what it gets you. Listen, just pick a fucking game. Bet it with everything you got. You believe in it and watch the results. Yeah. That's all you can do.

Worst case scenario, you bet 10 times. you go six and four. Mm-hmm. You make $2,000 fucking dollars. But you have to do it 10 weeks in a row and stick to it. And I guarantee you'll make money. One fucking game. Blaster for $2,500.

You see the line. You see the weather. Something that you see. And I guarantee you'll fucking win money. What leave money? No, I do have a sell. It was a Pacer's game a few years ago, but like, like when you see a mistake that they make

because they don't really make mistakes at all oh yeah NBA reps be tripping though so yeah that's true they're NBA reps they've been it's going crazy right now man every game they're fucking up yeah but you got to remember one fucking thing dog it's it's fucking tough

but you can't blame it on the reps you can't blame every fucking thing on the goddamn race the NBA is all I don't even know what's going on I know the all the star game was LeBron and then there's a college scandal now. Oh, yeah.

That's fucking, you know. That's about to fuck shit up. This has been going on people for fucking. We went over this before, Lee did. We not about 50 fucking thousand years. Like, that's, anyway, that's a complete different. But you got to get these, these kids are poor. Facts.

You're going into the fucking gather. You know, you want to. recruit. You got to go to slums. You got to go to the slum. You got to offer something. You want a kid that has never left his fucking neighborhood

to pick up and go to your school to play football. Maybe he wants his auntie with him. Maybe he wants his mama with him. Maybe his mom is doing timely. He was raised by his grandmother. He wants his grandmother with him. Maybe that's the deciding factor

for him to go to that college. That costs money, man. facts. $100,000 payoffs they were doing scamming one of the shoe companies. They're about to start

letting them go to the NBA out of high school again. That's the only thing that's going to happen. Or they're going overseas? No, not most of them.

Not that they can, but they can. I mean, yeah. So you can't go into the NBA no more from high school? One year. You got to do one year. So everybody doing

one in Duns anyway. Most high recruits just going to go and going to college, you know you're going to get in that prayer for one year. So that fucked up.

It fucks up college, too, to be honest. But now do we know when they're paying motherfuckers? I believe this shit crazy. I mean, they need to pay them, though, to be honest. They need to set up some type of payment situation for college athletes, man. That's the only way it's going to work. There's so much money in college. Yeah, because you're selling their jerseys.

They've been video cards. When I was doing all that stupid shit in 87, I left fucking Aspen all. overnight and I ended up dog I was so paranoid that night when I left the husband it was the night after Thanksgiving in 1986

I left with an ounce of the prettiest cocaine oh shit you ever saw in your life in the height of my cocaine addiction I showed up with a pound for gazi weed and I already owed this chick like fucking 15 grand like you have to me a big favor

I know I heard your money I know you heard this story before but I got a client that he needs this I think it was a half ounce and I go I'll leave this weed is collateral this weed looked great but it was a Fugazi

somebody sold it to me and scam me I'm seeing shit from those mushrooms I just saw the screen turned on me like I was at the doctor's office and you're taking it together I'm trying to hold it again I saw a few creepy things

I'm just being cool though You know what the fuck we're talking about. The mushrooms, man. No, no, no, no. We're talking about something for the mushrooms. I'm telling you a story about... Oh, he's in Aspen. Was I an assort?

I don't know what the fuck I was. You left Aspen with the prettiest cocaine in the house. Oh, yeah, the Fergian wheat. And you gave you the Fergazian. And I gave you the Fugzee wheat lease I had. I had a couple grand in my pocket that I owed to people. Like, I told people, give me the money. And I'll come back in an hour with an ounce of coke.

And they would go, I ain't going to do it. Don't worry. I got it all figured out. I scam like four. fucking people. For like two grand. And we drove like three hours overnight. And then I couldn't stop snorting.

So we had to go to a hotel. So me and her were checking through a hotel, through two lines ago. And we check out. Driving out and checking to another hotel. Oh, my God. We thought the cops were chasing this. Every hotel.

That's that barking. Paranoid. Oh, my God. It was terrible. That's terrible, though. That's a terrible thing. There's nothing worse than Owen somebody, man. That whole situation of just, oh, man, it's scary.

That's scary. That's a slippery slope. Especially drugs. Like, with it's been drugs involved and money and shit, man. I feel so bad for my ex-wife, that poor girl. She was fucked up that night. And I had a driving, and I was paranoid. It was fucking that car.

Jesus Christ, I was seeing him so long. And then we went to her. We went to her. We landed in Boulder. Her parents didn't know that we were together. They knew, but they didn't know we lived together. So the first night we showed up at her sister's house, Mish. She lived on the hill in Boulder.

And Mish let her sleep on the floor in the basement. And I had like one. eight ball left. Oh shit. In the middle of the night, I started snorting it, and I remember how I looked at me going, what the fuck are you doing? You know what I'm doing?

Take your panties off. And then, like, yeah, I mean, I was, guys, I was gone. I was 20-something years old. I was gone. And we stayed there for a while. And then I think I got, like, a little, a weekly apartment. Mm-hmm.

And roaches and shit. and my roommates they were as coked up as I was oh what I'm getting to is we're talking about boosters I got a job right away as a car wiper and at the Boulder puddle car wash

and Boulder great place great people the owners are great people him and his wife they were boosters bro they went to every game they flew to every bowl game they went to all the dinners

I forget how much they donated out of that place. That money was a... That place was a car rent, a cash register, especially in the winter because of the salt and the ice. Oh, my God. After it snowed and the sun would come out, there'd be a line from here all the way down to fucking magnolia. I'm not kidding you.

You'd be wiping cars all fucking days. The car... The car wash, business in those days, guys. I see the car wash business. We got, what, three car washes around here? You get in and out of there. It takes a half hour.

They ain't doing nothing. They're all pro. We were professionals in the pot of. I started as a car wiper down the guy. Car wiper down. And then I got promoted to the guy that drives the car out. What's that?

So when the car comes out of the tunnel, it stops. I got to get in it, slam the door, put it in gear, and drive it to whatever station's open. Okay. For the guys that dreading. I thought I was all cool and shit. It took me about a month in November and December,

a wiping down cars. And I shut up. I shut up on time every morning, 15 minutes before it, but I was also robbing. Okay. Sometimes people give you three bucks. You only put two in a basket. Okay.

Or you put one in the basket and keep two with the receipt. So I was also. when I was a car, I learned how to steal when I was a fucking a wiper. And then when I was a fucking car driver, and listen, you take 10 cars, you take 50 cents from each car. That's five bucks, you know what I'm saying? Five bucks, five bucks, five bucks. That's two fucking heroes for sub-boy. So between that and stealing tips, plus, you know, $7.50 an hour.

So I was the guy that got in the car and drove it out and there were one. You better job at the car or something. No. No, I think Waiper is better because you get still more tips. It gets better. Oh, shit. I quit. One day I was walking by because I moved down the corner when I got married.

And the guy beeped at me. And he called me on. He goes, what's up? How are you doing? We started talking. His name was Rich. I stole all this guy in my life. I think about him.

He was a good, solid white dude. I'm a bolder. And he goes, you're looking for a job. He goes, I'm looking for a host, a salesman. When you pull up, you got to sell them products. Like air fresheners and shit? Everything. No, like packages, like cleaning packages.

How you doing? Oh, okay. DB in the motherfucking house and shit. What you want? You're looking good like a motherfucker. What are you going to get the dog today? I'm going to get the usual. What's the special?

You know what I'm saying? There's always a special. So the special I would rope you with shit. Yeah, you would. Special is this. I already see that. But 9.95, I'll throw in the rims for you. But do me a favor.

Let me get you for $2 for the wax because the wax was $10 and I wouldn't put it on the ticket. Dog, I had a thine. And then the girl inside came to me one day. I was selling outside and I was scamming a little bit. But there wasn't, there wasn't much room to scam. The scam was when the girl from the register inside came to me and she goes, we're making a lot of money here. You're making them a lot of money. You're a good seller.

What if you did it this way, and I'll split the money with you. Damn. That bitch was giving me a ton of money every time I work. I was a Coke fiend with a wife and a kid. And I would work three days a week. I was making two grand a week. We were stealing two grand the week. We were splitting four grand the week.

And dog, it was one month, two months, three months. It was month after month. that somebody would come out and then they would ask them if they were paying cash and that but see on there so she would know when she'd ring them up that she didn't have to ring them up yeah it was great lee it was you were just stealing all the cash ones the whole fucking register every fucking day damn not me this chick was robin and then she would come out to me throughout the day and just give me 200 150 I would leave there with fucking 700 six of the cash I was living with fucking 700 I was living Even like a doctor and nobody knew it.

Nobody knew it. And I kept doing it month after month, after month, after month. And about the eighth month, I started getting paranoid. I'm like, listen, these people are stupid, but they ain't that stupid. Somebody's going to figure out this. And it was dog the last, I gave my notice in that last two weeks. I robbed with six hands me. We started figuring out how to rob the credit cards.

Oh, my God. And we were getting them for 1,000, 1,500 a day. She was sad. When I quit, she's like, Joe, you don't understand. You cannot quit. I'm making too much money. I've just bought a new car. She went over her fucking head.

This chick was 21. But the reason she was younger than I was, the reason why I was doing it what I was, she had cover. She knew somebody in the police department. Her uncle. Her dad was a sheriff or something. We always had an out.

She always said she had an out. So I was, one day I was like, you know what, bro? I ain't stupid. I've been to prison already. You know she was going to kill. I got stealing for years. You know, I knew they were going to figure it out. And if they figured it out, I was on probation.

You know how you got on probation? Because I worked there in the DA and I became friendly with the DA. I didn't know he was a DA. I just used to talk to the guy. And one day, asked him what he did. So I told him what I did. And he goes, oh, my God, I remember that case. So him and I started talking.

One day I went to him and I go, listen, I want to move back to New York, but I can't because of the probation. And he goes, have your attorney draft something. I send him to me, his name is Wise. Bill Wise, something. I think he got fired after the John Vanay thing. But that guy got me off probation at that car wash. Plus, I got to see all the other.

the cover cops. Okay. That was really interesting. That was an education. They get their cars washed publicly? Yeah. I mean, that's weird.

We had an account with the police department. Oh. Okay. So they would come in and say either Boulder County Sheriff's Office or Boulder County Police. Boulder County Sheriff's Office were kind of weird because if you're a Boulder County Sheriff's Office, you were. a different place so people don't recognize

you're originally from Denver or Boulder so how the fuck are you an undercover cop so what those dudes would do would be like go to Fort Collins but I would also see the guys that would come in

to work from other jurisdictions that would get that car wash on the own so I got to learn how they were starting to bus people and then finally after six months

there was one undercover cop that was cool and he knew what I had done and he knew that I knew and we started talking and we started talking about criminals that I had been doing time with that he busted

and it was dog it was just a I learned a lot at that fucking place I learned how to sell that that was my first real experience with upselling people and bumping them up like I'm making you pay more

for what this special is but I'm tricking you. It was the fucking and everything was aired. Like they told you that this thing only cost $2. This stuff costs $0.10. Even if it says $0.69 if you drop it

10 cents, we're still making a profit. You still get a percentage of that. I made money there also. The pay plan, at the end of the week, like at the end of the week, you had a commission, I would pull $17 an hour out of that. That was a lot of fucking money.

1990 guys. This is a year or two before comedy. I was pulling, I had a little scam. I was in the halfway house. Dog, if I would have got caught, stealing from there when I was in the halfway house, that would have clung me up for years. And for years, I quit.

But the point of the story is, they were big, big, dime boosters. Like, they gave half their fucking salary in that car wash to the University of Colorado. and they got like 50-yard tickets and they got the special blankets

and they also gave jobs to the University of Colorado football players one of my first friends you know one movie I went to see with him you weren't even bored with this movie me and him he was like a tackle

and he was wiping cars in there he had a lot of black football players that's one thing I gave the guy but I guarantee those motherfuckers a lot more than I was making. You know, I leaked because they were football players. But me and that kid doubled dated one night and we went to see Golden Child.

Golden Child, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy, you remember that? I was born in, I'm born 81. I think that was out, yeah. Yeah, that was 88, 89. I was born 81. You ever see that movie movie? Yeah.

I don't think so. Golden Child was tight. Golden Child was tight. The little Chinese boy, wasn't? Yeah. I remember that? That was tight. What a crazy fucking world, my friend.

Now I know why you're up. Let me give some shoutouts here real quick. Get the party started. Ask you some more questions. He'll rotate you a little bit. Dylan James Freisch. I love you. Ryan Siegel.

Darrell Wade West. Tom Gavis Nouse, his daughter and his daughter. Tom Gaines and your beautiful daughter. Give her a shout. I know she's nine years old. Seth Reese, Payne David, Kevin Dome, and Christian Beatty. You know, I love you, motherfuckers. Don't forget March 10th, working out with Uncle Joey at the Ice House.

15 bucks on the Saturday, 7.30 show. You'll have it back in the apartment by 10.30. Doing the dirty. And then March 21st on a Wednesday night, the first show sold out. So they added a second at 10.30. Fuck work on the 22nd. Fuck it. Start on St. Patty's Day and keep going to the 22nd.

That's right. What's going on with you, play? Are you performing? You're doing the festival still? I got Chicago coming up, March 12th, I think. And then I go to Iceland, March 16th, my birthday. And then I'm in Alaska and April. But for the most part, pretty chill.

I'm working on his album, so I can't really, I got to finish music. I got to mix music, you know. You have a label. your own label? No, I'm signed to Warp Records, which is pretty much a UK-based label, an independent label from Brian Emo. You know what I'm saying? So it's cool. I like it over there. I get to go to London a lot, you know. So that's a good part about it. And I was always a fan of that label, too, because they just put out a lot of, like, experimental and cool stuff. There's not really too many rappers on the label, so it was kind of like, you know, it's cool. It's a cool place.

I can't believe, like, you never really listened to the Eagles. No, I never listened to the Eagles. You always put me up on the good old-school shit, though. That's where I fuck with you. That was, one of these nights was one of the first real rock songs. I was like, wait a second. I'm feeling this shit because I refused to listen to rock music. Like, I didn't like the long hair.

This is when I was a karate dude. I was smoking pot still and Bruce Lee was dead and I was still a little pissed off and shit Bruce Lee died when I was 10 I was pissed on about 11 and a half 12 and shit I discovered women

I discovered that little chick Bruce Lee was my life I were from Bruce Lee that little dry hump and that little skinny bitch Yeah man That's crazy shit I don't even know what we're talking about

I'm talking about I'm talking about the Eagles the Eagles. So I was in Miami when that song came out. I was a kid in Miami and I went nuts. I went home and bought the fucking album

that one of these nights, the first one, and then I bought Hotel California and that shit was fucking just straight up, really. And I couldn't wait to get home from school at three because nobody was home until five.

And I would go downstairs and play the living room and I would air guitar the whole side of Hotel California. The new kid in town and all that shit. I love the fucking. I'm gonna check it out.

I'm definitely check it up. And then the one with the Indian came in, the bass player. The big Indian. And they did the long run. And that's a good album, too, dog. That's a badass album. You know the Brothers Johnson art? Mm-mm.

You know the Brothers Johnson? Mm-mm. No? Put on Brothers Johnson. Let me see. I thought you knew about Brothers Johnson. Who does it know about Brothers Johnson? What happened, don't?

I said, who doesn't know about brothers Johnson? I know, shit. I want to see you two, brothers Johnson. These guys were called, this had to be 75. These guys were two brothers, two family. I'm not saying African-American, I'm saying they were really brothers. What brothers? Brothers.

Brothers Johnson. They had a couple big hits. There we go. All right. I'll be Strawberry letter Number 23 You don't know this shit?

Maybe Yeah you do You know this shit dog Right there that one There were two brothers That were funky But they could play them A guitar

And they can play the bass They were called Yeah I know this Okay And then go to that next one right there I'll be good to you Right there The one with the blue

In the top Right now We're going to be sure. No, tomorrow. Yeah, right now? How dare you? This was my jam when I was a kid. You know, they used to come to the comedy store?

When I first got there, they were friends with Chewy. When I saw them at the comedy store, I nearly fucking died. The dude with the Big Natural. But this is one of the biggest songs. This was when I was in love with New Yorker. That was her name. Yeah, it's fine. This is my old school.

This is my shit, my fucking grandma said it's true. Oh, shit, here we go. Boom, boom, boom, no, no. What's up, Lee? We're going through it. We're going deep from deep to the murky waters. We're done with this fucking, oh shit. All right, click on to my boy right there.

The third video on the way down, we're just out of respect. Yeah, I was saying. Just out of respect. Just out of respect. This is one of my favorites, man. Don't ask no questions. This is when black people are black people. This is my life.

This is it. He has the best talking part. If anybody knows Orange Juice Jones, if you get him on the podcast, please contact me immediately. He's definitely a legend. This guy is one of my all-time favorites. So player, man.

What? Never be the same. Oh, speed it up, Lee. Speed it up to the middle right there. Yeah, I got it here. He's talking about. Speed right there, Lee. Oh, shit.

His cousin showed up. This is one of my all-time favorite, Jay. He's dumb. He's dim. He's committed. He's committed to the far. You think there was an acting school? This guy's the real.

Hey, hey, baby How you're gonna. Come on in here. Got some hot chocolate in the stove waiting for you. That's right. Listen, first thing, let me hang up that cold.

Yeah, how's your day today? Did you miss me? No, you did. Yeah, I missed you too. That's right. I missed you so much. I followed you today. Oh, this thing is creepy now.

I close your mouth because you cold busted. You cold busted. I'm trying to sit down here. Sit down here. Sit down here. I'm so upset what you don't know what to do. My first impulse was to run up on you. Do a ramble.

What about to jammy and flat blast both of you? I ain't want to mess up this $3,700 link's cone. Look at all the same. Trying to copy you. I'm trying to copy him. That's shit. The bank took out every dime. Every dime.

Look at him. Oh, look at all those credit cards. Look at it with Puerto Rican flag. How much counts. Yeah. I stuck you up for every piece of jewelry. I have a fortune. Do you?

That's right It's stuck you up, dude Look He's back to the slums No, don't go You don't go looking In that closet

Because you ain't got Nothing in Everything you came here with It's packed up And waiting Before you need gas room That's right What was you thinking about

Huh? What you're trying to prove Huh? He's with a juice He's with a juice I get it Coozy handbagged Blue Diamonds

I gave you things That couldn't even pronounce No, I can't get Nothing But you're still young You still your son, dude. I hope you learn a valuable lesson from all this.

You know, gonna find somebody like me one of these days. That's right. Until then, you know what you got to do? You got to get one out of here with that Aller Cat, Coen wearing, hush, puppy, shoo and crook. I saw you with it because you just smashed. That's right. Seller rabbit tricks are made for kids. Did you know that?

You without me like cornflake without the milk. Yeah, I think Orange's Joe got his heart broke before. That's what happened to me. That's what happened when women break the main heart, man. He fucked her world up. He closed the back account. Somebody fucked his world up. You remember this right here?

Leave this on you. Club Nubo? Yeah. Oh, shit. I know Club Nubo, though, but I got here to song. You remember this. This is old school right here for you, too. There's another good one for you, D.

Oh, shit. What? Oh, shit. This is old school. This is about the time I went to prison, right here. This is straight up cocaine music. That's exactly this dude.

Oh. Started by the jealous people. And they get madsey and something they had. Somebody else is holding. That's right. That's a real-school shit for you right there, Joe. Listen, we're just trying to fucking drop some knowledge on you on a Thursday fucking morning. What else you're going to do with your life here?

Exactly. My man, D. Brown is in that. How's up, though. Something's going fucking down this weekend. I know, we're going deep. I'm not doing nothing. I'm, uh... I got a play date on Saturday.

Mm-hmm. You know. Keep it late. I got swimming tomorrow with her 4.30. I got to drop her off. I got to get my fucking glasses tomorrow. There's eyeside. Young people.

Cherish your fucking eyesight. Sherish it. And you know what, man? The fuck between the computer. Yeah. And getting off the. that was the demolition of my eyesight. I had great eyesight all my fucking life.

And about 44, I started writing on the computer. And immediately, immediately, dog, my eyesight went somewhere. But it was okay. It was manageable. I stayed on top. But I got the glasses. I got the reading glasses. God forbid you lose your reading glasses.

Oh, man. It's like dropping that gram of Coke at the restaurant with your last $100. You fucking panic I kept breaking my glasses It was a fucking nightmare And then I started taking people's advice Just go to Costco

And buy the 10 fucking eyeglass can So you can have I mean you need them everywhere And then bro It gets to the point where you can't even read Checks At a restaurant Like even with the glasses on

And that's to the point I'm at I catch myself watching TV With my left eye that means my right eye is gone or something you know what I'm saying so I gotta go get fucked and that bitch is getting worse for us like we're staring at phones and computers

yeah I need glasses I know you think it accelerates the fucker that should probably fucking us up yeah because we hold it right next to our faces I mean I have my my fucking I don't see as well as you know I could see it's changing a little bit

I'll be 37 and you feel already yeah I didn't feel it until I started I know it's I can tell it's different different man like I used to be I could see way better but we've had 10 years for a lot longer I've had a computer since

yes forever middle school probably I think because I was always a reader you got I gotta tell you guys I was always a reader I got trained in the seventh grade when I got left back the fucking dude made you read one book every month and he gave you an

horrible fucking exam he wouldn't make it do a book report he asked you questions about the book and I love it until today I still just read this fucking booking three days as a corporation. I love it, but I don't know what happened.

I started writing early in the morning, and that's what I noticed it. I've heard about a year on the computer. I know what age it deteriorates, but it went quick at that point. At that point, it went from like fucking 10 to 7,

and I was like, wow, this is noticeable. Right now, I'm at like three and a half. Like, I have to squint. I have to get the fucking iPhone and get the light out even with glasses I don't even know what I'm up to you know you buy these at CVS

you buy these and you lose these and I'm up to like fucking 2.75 or 3.0 I don't fucking know so I really went to the eye doctor there I basically got to get that 10 to 10 and take number fucking three and stand online

they pick my number and they got to get my glasses and I got to get the fuck out of it and maybe trained tomorrow Yeah. What are you got going on, my friend? I'm just kick it. I don't know. Probably see a couple friends, you know.

See you all up too. I don't know. I'm just playing it by here for right now. I thought it was going to be nice out here, man. But fuck. I guess. I don't know. Before, before you dropped your record label.

I mean, were you struggling at all in the beginning of that? Hell yeah. It took me forever. I didn't, I didn't put out my first, project on a label till I was 30. So my whole 20s, I was trying to be a rapper, so. Are you saying?

Yeah. My first happened to come out until I was 30, really. I mean, I had mixtapes before then, but I would go, like I said, I would go to New York, take a great high New York on the weekend. And how would you make a living as a rap? I was. I was selling dope then. Selling weed. So you would sell weed

to rap? Mm-hmm. I pretty much I put out my first, like my first project that I gave myself, hot soup, I did that off weed money pretty much. Just paid my own studio time, bought beats, you know, and just put it out of much of beats.

I mean, now, back then, it was, it was, it was, like, I just worked with one producer, so I just, you know, cash them out like that. So it went like I got buying beat by beat, you know. But beats, man, it's a slippery slope now. That's a slippery slope. That could go if you can. I mean, I don't know.

It's a slippery slow. You play a piano or no? I don't play. I played trumpet a little bit when I was in elementary. I only instrument I played, but I just recently started taking guitar lessons just to have something to do with my time, man. Just not have at least something to make me, you know,

have more musical knowledge. Makes you think, no, a different angle. And it's hard as fuck. I guess because I got small hands. So, but it's been cool. It's just something to do. Get out the house, you know. So I've been doing that.

For the most part, yeah, I'm just really going to finish this album. So the next few months I'm really just got a lock all the way in and knock it out. But I'm going to say it's got a good, I know what I want to do now. That's the thing, you know. I think that's the hardest part for me is just figuring out what I want to do, what I want it to sound like. And I'm pretty much got that. So now it's just all about executing.

So I'm at that point now. So we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But I'm hopefully, I hope to have it out shit before, a year over it. Takes time. Yeah. I mean, I just work on it every day.

That's all I could do. Especially when you want to do it. Trust the process. Got to trust the process. It's like right now I'm waiting on Netflix. There's nothing I can do. I could just keep going out. I could sharpen the material.

So when Netflix calls, they cut it down the fat, it's a 30-minute fucking spascial. That's what I'm trying to do it right now. Okay. Same sure. You know, my boy, Lee's a good fucking writer. Yeah.

Boy, Lee's going to do well in this. That's right. I'm trying. That's right, Lee. But yeah, for the most part, I just want to, because, you know, like I said, I got the movie coming out and around that time, too, so we'll see how that works out, too. When is the movie coming out? It comes out, August. So that should be tight.

So I'm going to these. You're coming back for the premiere, the whole thing? I don't know. It depends. They invite you back? Yeah, they invite me. I'll come, but for the most part, shit, I hope you all. road by then I won't at least put the album out around that time or maybe a little bit after

I don't know but hopefully most likely with me always put an album out like October November every two years so it should be coming this should be good well you look good you're healthy and then I tour that shit for three years no festivals um not really the festival's starting the summer right like moving may in the summer that's when you get locked into but man I just, you know, see, with me, I put out my album, it's like almost, almost been two years, so I got to hurry up and put another one out to get back. Because I played all the festivals last year, you know, every time I put it to the album, I play them, and then I got to chill.

You can't, you know what I'm saying? But for the most part, I play, like I'm going to Slovakia and shit like that, you know. So I don't know. Slow fucking Bakke. Is that what it called? I don't fuck for you, though. I failed geography. It's amazing.

It's amazing. Like, these other countries that, like, in Cuba, they have a heavy metal scene. Like, this hidden heavy metal scene. They love rap everywhere, man.

And they love rap everywhere, you know. It's a universal. Fucking music is so fucking universal. It's crazy. But, yeah, I love, like, Europe. I got a bigger fan base in Europe

than I do it, America. Are you fucking serious? More strong, I feel like, more stronger family in England yeah just Europe period

when I go over there I'm at least when I tour over there I tour of months so I'm Germany I just was over there shit we're running jewels

Where are you popular Who do you do these tours with I just did the last one We're running jewels But usually I do Every time I put an album I tour in the States and then I go

Overseas for a few months But yeah For the most part I just hit up Europe and Germany here Been everywhere pretty much Africa I've been to Africa

Where in Africa? We went to, um, we went, we did the thing with Adidas and we went to Soweto. What the fucking Soweto? Was it in the slums. Like, where the huts and shit at? Like, they had us out there. No hotels? Yeah, we was into hotels, but they took us to the real shit. We went to the real.

Lions? I didn't see no lions. I didn't see the lions. But they did take us from, we rode four-wheelers through, like, the jungle. That shit was tight. That was fun. But I had a great time out there, though. That flight was long as fucked.

though. How long is the flight? I think it was like 18 hours maybe. 20 hours, something like that. I was drinking lean the end, though. I was drinking syrup then, so I slept the whole flight. I swear to God. What was the last time you drank lien?

Shit. Two or three years, none? Damn, you miss it. I mean, it's like, yeah. But the type of lien that I like, they don't make no more. Which one? It was activist. So once that got discontinued, that I was like,

because all the other shit really tastes like cough syrup. like, activist was good. That shit was sweet. That shit just was, it was addictive. And they just stopped making it. Yeah, because Justin Bieber, they kept catching Justin Bieber. The rest of him, he was going crazy, and they raided his house, and they pumped all that syrup or something. And then activists ain't want that, because they were thinking, what if Justin Bieber fucking overdose off their shit, then they don't want that shit on their name.

So they just discontinued the serve. But they do that with all, you know, they do that with drugs, and they come bring it back a few years later or change the name or something. So, I don't know. I haven't, I, I don't know what's going on to serve. The thing is about it, this shit is expensive, man. When they got to the point when it was $100 a line, like, fuck. Like, that's when it was getting too crazy. And you spending fucking, you're trying to buy, fucking, you got to, I was buying like an eight every two days.

And that's like $800. A what? A cost of eight ounces. How much? It was like. Yeah, because it got to the point it was $100 a line. What's a line?

A line is an ounce. The line on the cross road. You know, how you got lines. Okay, okay, okay. So every line is the ounce. So every line is an ounce, you know, so. So $100 for a line, that's one sip. That's no, you can put a, you can,

most people would put, like, you can put a line in, like, a 20 ounce. That'd be cool. But for the most part, you try to at least put, most people, if a lot of people sipping, we'll put, like, a four in a two liter, four ounces in a two liter. But for the most part, like two, I put two ounces in two lead.

And how long did you get fucked up for all night? That one, you go on. You go on. You go on. It's here over. It's a hell over. I've had it before. The game between the first time he got had bunk out of his hair.

You didn't bring it over here. It was great. You didn't pour it up, though. I didn't know what I did. What do you mean pour it up? You got to pour it up. You got to pour it up. It's some soda.

My favorite was straight. My favorite was pineapple fan. And that shit tastes amazing. or the Sprite remix to the clear Sprite. That shit tastes amazing. Don't get me up. You got me zoned out. I think I can taste it.

Like that shit I think you relapse. I'm high on the fucking edible. Yeah. I'm fucked up. Jesus Christ. I took like one of those little fucking 2-5 Xanaxes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I had anxiety early.

I can't watch the fucking news no more. What's going on with the news, man? Last night a plane caught on fine. Did it? Yeah. LAX, the engine. I like the news, but I don't like the news normal.

I enjoy the news, but I don't like the news no more. Ever since Diane Sawyer left? No, you know what, man? It's been fucking about it. It's been the last year. It's just too fucking political and then it's bad news. Like it's never, you know,

I can live with some stuff. The other day I was watching a documentary Not really a documentary, like a mini-series about that chick when I was a kid that had the machine gun that went with the army and then they robbed the bank, the white chick, Patty Hurst, Patty Hurst. And that shit, you know, like that was the news when I was a kid. That was all right. She was like a millionaire and she got kidnapped by this fucking group. And then they got caught robbing the bank and people judged whether or not she was doing it voluntarily. or she lost her mind.

Like, I can live with that. That's not that bad. You know what I'm saying? Like, I remember sitting on the couch the other day watching that. I watched like two episodes. And I saw myself as a child eating dinner, watching the news. And this was like the biggest news of that. Nobody was getting blown up.

Nobody was getting shot at the fucking school. Nobody was bad-knought-in the fucking president. Nobody was, you know, asking questions on their debate. It was just a simple fucking news world. And now I got to open up with fucking this and that. This guy didn't pull his gun. Fucking this guy, the Demer guy. And you're like, you know what, bro?

I was having a good guy. I went to pizza with the kids. How good of a time was I at the time? You saw me. How happy was I? You were blowing straws everywhere. I was blowing straws. I had my daughter and her girlfriend.

Dog, I go to this ballet. Orangina. Poppin Orginia. I go to this ballet right on Wednesdays. I sit and watch my daughter. And I got to tell you something, I have a great time. I'm putting the show together and two of the characters of the show, the one buddy whose dad is friends with Mercy and their daughter.

And this is this other dude that's got to be six for five, two 90s. He's been trying to lose away for a while. And he's got two gorgeous daughters. He's got one that you look at her at the, she's got to be five and you go I gotta get a fucking shotgun pretty soon because the mother's a knockout

so she's built like the mother and she's got big feet he's tall so she's got those big feet like when you look at a puppy and their feet are really fucking big and you're like oh she's that

me and my wife were talking about like oh you know what he needs a shotgun for this little girl my wife agrees and she goes you know what she doesn't need a shotgun look at the little sister the little sister's just as pretty

but she's built like the father like a fucking tank so she's like her bodyguard but the father reminds me who's the white dude that produces all the rap for JZ yeah that you know Rick Rubin used to go to comedy store a lot I believe I bet

a lot I never really you know I'm not telling you I party that I never said two words to him Is he still around producer He just put up I mean, he still, he got his own down. I listened to that new Jay-Z album. It wasn't bad. Yeah, I like it. Yeah.

But he got his own record label, American Records. So he put out stuff. And he'd be producing for a lot of rock people and shit, too. Like, not too long ago, like, like, he always doing, like, working with, like, legendary motherfuckers, like bringing them back and shit. I always forget to play Jay-Z. I always forget to play Jay-Z.

Well, that Jay-Z album was great. The good, yeah. The last one, somebody weird told me to make sure to listen to it. and it's on YouTube and it was fucking tremendous. 444, yeah. 440, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't really get it. No, it's good, it's good. I mean, for him to as many projects as he's made consistently

and to do it again like that, like, I was very impressed. I thought, you know, rap is, I don't know, once it feels like it ain't too many, 40, like he, I like the fact that he's breaking it. Like, he can be the best 50-year-old rapper. He can be the first one that could be 50 still doing it, you know? because most of the time they don't let rappers age like that, you know?

It's tough on the rap on this side, that's 50. Yeah. Staying on stage. Be going, huh, huh, uh, and be yelling and shit like that. You might be the first one. Like I've seen the video of Prophets of Rage and even what they're doing, that's exhausted. Yeah, hell yeah. They're up there fucking working, man.

They're taking it to the next fucking level. That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. Remember when we had that testosterone guy? on... Dr. Belize? Yeah. No, no, no, no.

Don't say his name. But one time, I asked him, who were your biggest clients? And he told me, musicians. Mm-hmm. He goes, my biggest clients right now are these 50-year-old musicians

who go on the road. Yeah. They shoot the testosterone. Damn. That's crazy. That's crazy. Not sports, not athletes. They were his biggest clients.

Because, think about how... You can't. It's hard. Oh, man? Both. Sabbath was 60. and they're out there doing every other night. That's not bad.

They were doing three shows a week, and they knew it. They knew by Friday they were done. They needed two days of rest. And they're playing like two hours, two and a half hours. That's fucking crazy. That's brutal, man. It's brutal. Listen, I said it last week, man.

I don't know what it was. It was the altitude. You know, I sold out in Denver, so they out of the show. Again, thank you. Me and Lee got in there lunchtime. We ate, we took naps, we acclimated a little bit, I got up a little bit, walking around, I was snowing. And I went, I did the two shows, Dog, I went back to the fucking hotel, I went to bed early. Hell yeah.

And, dog, I woke up the next moon, I didn't know where I was. I always fucking hurt, like a truck hit me. You know, when I featured, you don't give a fuck. I've said this before, you go in and off. But now it was a headline in the back of my mind you paid. My whole body's in the game. Like, it's involved in a joke. You know what I'm saying?

It's not that I'm Dane Cook. I'm not saying I'm jumping up and down. I'm too waiting. I can't do it no more. But your whole body has to feel the intensity of the joke. You'll feel, in 10 years, you'll go, wow. That you learn it. That's something you learn in time.

You know, that it's an experience. If you're really throwing heat, you're throwing heat from the fucking soul. Exactly. Your heart's beating. You're playing the game. You're acting out the joke. You're selling the joke. Sometimes I go back and I go, man, my legs are sore.

I stretch and shit and take a shower, you know? So I give it up for those older guys. Hell yeah, man. Who are on the road fucking playing. Rudy Sars. How old is Rudy Sars was 66 or something? Fucking still goes out on the road and still, you know. Definitely got to be in shit.

This is crazy. And you guys are younger to the listening. When I was growing up, when you were 50, they fucking hungry. you have to drop. It was over. It was over for you. There was no fucking musical career. They shot you in the head.

The fact that these guys, that's why I'm fucking bringing it up because even technology has kept half these guys alive. You know, Ozzy Osbourne should be dead on normal paper. I don't wish nobody's death. I'm just telling you from the drugs he did

and the party. Today I heard a story on fucking Ozzy's bone yard. I have Ozzy's bone yard. I got MNB baseball. I got the 70s, 80s, 90s, and I got the one that plays Soundgarden all the time. Lithium.

That's my shit, Lithium. But I love Eddie Trunk. That's my motherfucker on Mondays. I listen to him, especially when he talks about kissing shit. White people, he drives white people crazy when he talks about kissing. Let me answer something.

What have you heard about Ace Freely and Gene Simmons? You know, he's fucking hysterical. I'm happy you got to see you, brother. I'm happy you came to Austin. You were a fucking gentleman. We went out to eat. We had a good time.

Hell, yeah. You're a bad motherfucker. I can't wait for your album to come out, so I could open up for you a few days. I don't want no money. I just want to, you know, give you back some of the love you've given the show. Hell yeah.

That'll be dope. That'll be dope. And Lee was going on with you. You're doing it. Lee's hot fuck. You ready for another mushroom? No, I'm telling you. I'm feeling great.

Yeah. See, me, obviously. These are my little, these are strong mushrooms. Yeah, these are good ones. They get to you. Yeah, they're good. But you got another piece. I'm good for a minute.

It's fucking Thursday night. Wednesday night. I want to go drink. I got to go drink. Really? Yeah, I got to get drunk. Tonight? Yeah, yeah.

You ready to go? No, I'm not saying, that I'm going. No, no, no. You go to Hollywood? That's what I'm going to do. Yeah, yeah. So tomorrow night you want to go to the High Times Awards? Yeah, whatever.

Now? All right. I'll go. I probably just go to store the night. All right. I just get drunk. I have no fucking idea what time. I'm doing a podcast. What time you're doing a podcast?

Four. Oh, you'll have plenty of time. I want to do a spot tomorrow night too. I want to start by the fourth wall. What time is it right now? No, they're done already. It's on a salon. Yeah, no, they're fucking done.

Anyway, listen, you don't need to, for it to be Valentine's Day to fall in love. You could fall in love, whatever. Now, you can't get to know somebody by a profile by looking at that picture. Lee's single now. I know he's been on E-Harmony, looking around, you know, trying to meet people. Is it easier with E-Hominy, Lee? It's great, and their sign-up process is amazing,

so their matches are a lot better than a lot of the other sides. Is that where you've seen so far? Yeah, like, I don't have any other app. I just deleted every other app recently, so it's the only one I use. Well, E-Harmony is unlike many other. the online dating site because he omni takes steps that other dating sites wouldn't even think about they're built to help you find lasting meaningful relationship not just a shallow hookup site where you meet at a hotel nobody knows nothing and she's drunk and you're drunk who needs

that i go back next thing you know you realize she's an escaped convict and a husband's been looking on him he's with the cartel you don't need that aggravation what i'm trying to say is they've helped over a million people find their perfect match. E-Harmony uses years and years of science, data, and psychological research to send you the right matches. Nobody does that. E-Harmony brings compatible people together. Think about it. How much longer can you sit there every night listen to the podcast?

I mean, there are plenty of hook-up sites out there. Don't get me wrong, every once in a while you got to do what we got to do, but this is not what E-Harmony is. And what I'm going to do is this, okay? You're lonely. You want to give it a shot. You know, I don't know. You want to hike this summer. You want to meet people.

Right now, right now, you. You get a free month with Eat Harmony when you sign up for a three-month subscription. What you need to do is enter code, church, and check out. So stop waiting and start your journey to a satisfying, meaningful relationship. I mean, it can be fun to play around without online dating that. But listen, you're getting older, you want responsibility, you want a family, but most importantly, you want to fall in love with somebody and have a meaningful relationship. There's one app built to bring your real love, and that's E-Harmony.

Come see how different E-Harmony can be and how it can change your life. Go to E-Harmony.com right now and get started. Enter code church at checkout. I also want to thank Hon. For always sending me taking care of my mental state with alpha brain and Shroom Tech health

and Shroom Tech. Sport. Sport and Shroom Tech. Immune. I'm sorry. You know what I'm saying? My memory is fading. It's 10.53 at night.

I've been talking shit for fucking 10 hours today. Anyway, you know how we do it here. Give honor to try. You don't like the alpha brain. Don't send them back. They still give you 100% money back, guarantee. Who does that in the business? Nobody. Go to honor.com right now and press in. Church. Back. Fuck. Yeah, 10% off right off the top delivered to your house. Or you'll be here at the end of

March to talk to you people about what he's doing and his new book. How's that for you? And also, Fuji Gee, you're a fat fuck. You want to train, but you don't know what to do. Let me tell you something. I've had a thousand people give me geese and presents. And Fuji is the best. And Fuji is the best for the fat guy. Because if you're in somebody's garden, they're trying to pull you down. Most go, most, I'm telling you, I had a ghee from a couple of places. They just rip, especially training in Alberta cranes because those guys pull the fucking sleeve.

My Fuji geese are tip-top magoo. And their quality and they're cheap and they're fucking doable and dependable. And if you're a big guy, go to Fuji Sports.com right now and press in. Church. Bam! And get 10% off on the house and shit. and Tomom Uncle Joey sent you. Besides that, always a pleasure

to have this guy. This guy's a... Hell yeah. This guy's gonna be Smokey Robinson in five fucking years. That's right. He has the class and the charisma of just something.

You know, he's my new Ralphie. That's right. He's my new brother. He's a good man. He's solid. And if he comes to your town, make sure you stop it and tell him the fucking church sent you.

That's right. My main man over here. He's a fucking savage. Little Y'all, man. All right. And Lee Sayah, what's going on, Doug? You're going on a date this weekend?

Absolutely. Can I go out and get yourself a little date on your harmony? You'll find yourself a meeting for a relationship. Absolutely. Or do you just want to play the field, though? I'm not going to see what happens for now. I mean, I know you. I know what you've been thinking.

Danny Brown knows. And then on March 10th, I'll be the same, Tripoli, and a bunch of great people in Santa Barbara. So go check out on Instagram for that. Like the Velvet Jones or something I'm sorry, I'm in front of me. All right, well, I want to thank E-Harmony. I want to thank Aude. I want to thank Fugisports.com.

I want to thank my main man, Danny Brown. Thank you, man. But most important, I want to thank you, people. Don't forget March 10th, the Ice House working out, Saturday night, 7.30. No big fucking deal. 15 bucks. I'm trying to put the special together. And then on the 21st, they just added the show up there in Nyack, New York,

on a Wednesday night. Fuck work on Thursday. I love you cock suckers with all my heart. Thank you for the emails. Thank you for the support. You know the fucking drill. Stay black. Stay safe.

Have a great weekend. Keep your eyes open. Uncle Joey loves you. Kick that fucking mulee. Kick that mule.