The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #569 - Kelvin Gastelum

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

Kelvin Gastelum, an MMA fighter who is currently ranked #5 in the UFC's Middleweight division and the winner of The Ultimate Fighter 17, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 03/18/2018.

Welcome to PodcastVille. This podcast is brought to you by Fugisports.com. Listen, if you're doing jih Tzu, you're jumping up and down, whatever. Go to Fugisports.com right now. Especially if you're a fat dude like me and you need an A5 or an A6. I dropped from an A6 to an A5. It's pretty interesting. They got the nice saparito ghee.

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Agitate the fucking mind. You've got to push the barrier. Sudoku. But anyway, seducos, I don't give a fuck if you do puppets, whatever. What I want you to do is go to honor.com right now. Check out the supplements. And on the way on the checkout, press in. Church?

Bam. And I'm going to give you 10% off because that's how I roll. All right. Anyway, it's Wednesday. I'm in Niagara, New York, maybe. Tonight, I am. I'm in Niagara, New York, but I'm here, too. Don't worry about none.

I got a jet in the helicopter. And three Cubans were jumping off this motherfucker. Welcome to the church of what's happening now. Kick this fucking. Mule Lee. Fuck all y'all. God damn, I'm glad y'all said it all.

Oh shit. To be hard now you just went and saw I heard you was down with the AK. And now I see you on a video with Mitchelay looking like straight a posos. Are you kidding me or what? It's a lot. It kept on stomping.

Why y'all motherfuckers move straight out of count. Like you. Living with the whites. One big house and not another nigger in sight. The church of what's happening now, baby? What did you think we're going to happen? Bad motherfuckers. What?

Love it. Kevin Gasserman is in the house. The Christ Killers in the house. Your Uncle Joey's in the house. Gentlemen. Fucking NWA's in the house. What? You've been a thing.

Easy E. Saw your ass and win in it. Trying to sound like a long day. Nice, cute. Are you fucking nuts? The future world champions in the house sitting here. The future world champion is in the house sitting here. The future world champion.

I appreciate that, John. It's a Calvin Gastelman. I mean, it's a no fucking brainer. Gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for a long meeting to be here. It's a no brain, Lisa. Thank you for coming up and sitting with us for a while. I mean, you're 26 years old.

You had your first fight when you were 17. Yeah. You come from a wrestling base. Wrestling background. You're a jiu-jitsu guy, the boot, 10th Planet. You know, you're practicing brown belt now. 10 planet brown belt, congratulations. And you don't.

mind throwing some fucking punches. No. You don't mind staying in the pocket every once in a while and showing your true fucking blood. You know what I'm saying? Which is, you want to do this? We'll do this. Fuck it.

Well, it turned out I'm pretty good at it. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you for being here tonight. No, you're 26. Your next fight is May 12th against Jacqueray. Jokore Zosa. That's a huge test.

And at 26, you have to look at it objectively. you could go in there and fucking bang with them and knock them down or whatever and you don't win or lose in this situation at 26 you're going to be a world champion and from every step you're going to learn something and get stronger and stronger

and stronger. Absolutely. Actually, you're naturally talented, your lightning fucking quick. You know what I'm saying? Like you get from point A to point B and you got dynamite in your hands. You know what the fuck does it take?

to be a fighter, bro. That's crazy, man, you ask me. I was actually going to say, because a lot of people kind of ask me the same thing. You got a lot of guys on Instagram, hey, Guy, Calvin, I'm 16, 17 years old, man. I look up to you. What did you do to get to where you're at? But, I mean, the answer is always the same. I mean, there is no secret answer.

The answer is through hard work and winning fights. You know what I mean? you gotta really be prepared to win fights and win big fights. You know what I mean, there is no secret. Everybody wants to know what the secret is, what the secret diet,

what do you do with a secret pill to lose weight. Oh, it's just through hard work, good diet if that's your goal. But it's through hard work, well determination, man. And being at the right place at the right time. That too?

I mean, you got into the ultimate fighter which fucking people dream about. Yeah. Kids from all over. the world of 15 watching the ultimate fighter going I'm fucking training to audition for Dana white can you imagine that shit like that's your dream well I remember I'm not knocking I'm just saying that's a tremendous dream to have yeah then they get chosen to be on the ultimate fighter then to win the fucking ultimate fighter no I remember that's a complete different situation you

how old when you won the ultimate fighter 21 are you fucking crazy barely yeah barely I remember I remember I remember looking back at the room when I went to the tryouts in Vegas because they put it on a sign. They tryouts were they're ultimately in fire for middle weights and light heavy weights. So come on out. And so I went out and there's about 500 guys, 500 beasts, you know, just black belt and this, black belt and that, you know, done this. He's won a world title on this. And I just remember looking back at all these guys and just being massmarized for the first time of my life. like, oh my God, what am I doing here?

With all these guys, you know, I'm just a guy from you, my Arizona, for a small little town, you know, and there's a bunch of tough guys in the room I felt a little intimidated, you know. And what did they make you do at the tryouts? Well, they split you up in groups, so split a split group, group one, two, and three. You know, for example, they call up group one. Group one goes into a big room,

and there's a big room with, You know, at the time, Joe Silva and the matchmakers and the producers of the show as well, they put a group A in the room. There was a big mat in the middle of the room, and Joe Silva would be calling from where he was at. There was a big table, you know. And so he'd be calling so-and-so, go to the mat, and everybody had two minutes to wrestle and showcase their skills. Jesus Christ.

You know what I mean? A lot of pressure. You wrestle, no punches? No, just jiu-jitsu. You start on your knees. Joe says go, two minutes on the clock, and then you go with another guy. You know, and they wrestle for two minutes. Joe says, okay, he looks at the file next.

Boom, he calls up the next two guys. Doesn't say nothing, you know? And say nothing. He's just, all right, boom, so and so two minutes. And then boom, while everybody's watching, you know. And then that goes on for about 50 minutes. to an hour. And then you go to the striking department.

You hit Mitz with coaches that are there. And then there's Joe Silva walking around with a clipboard. Like, okay, you can go sit down. Then just checking you off. Then, okay, you can go sit down. You know, and it's intimidating. It's intimidating. This little guy, this little guy with a clipboard, you know,

and you're super intimidated while he's walking around with his clipboard. or checking people off because this is your dream you know you want to be able to do good you want to impress him you know this is this is the dream that you've been working for for a long time and then what's the third test his day and then the third test and then the third test after that was done Joe said Joe Silva says okay guys well a lot of you guys um at the At the end of that session, he calls guys, okay, guys, the next couple guys that I'm going to call, made it through. The guys that I don't call, I'm sorry next time, just like that, you know? And so they call up about half the group.

They call up to go on to the next round. The next round, Joe Sova says it's the hardest part. Guys like Benson Henderson went through it and failed. guys like Frankie Edgar went through it and failed. It's the TV part, I guess, which was the hardest part, where you got to show personality. And I was like, you know what I mean? I'm just this shy little guy from a 21-year-old, 20 at the time, 20 at the time, 20-year-old

from a little town in Yuma. And I was like, well, how do you showcase your personality? You know, I don't know. So I went in there and I was just me. I just went in there and they told me, well. Kelvin, you're 5 and 0, you're 20 years old. We like you. And then my heart started beating, you know.

I relaxed a little bit. But I was like, well, I like you guys too. And that was it. It must have been 60 seconds while everybody else was taking five minutes to go in and out of that room with the producers. And that was a crazy part too, because the producers go into a little, a smaller room. and they put a camera in front of you and they get about 10 producers behind that camera and they're all staring at you on the other end

and they're all asking you questions and that was crazy you know just a lot of a lot of pressure in that trial it was pretty crazy it's uh that's part of the business it's that you have to look good on TV not look good but appeal they're creating a storyline

when it's a reality TV show I always do it at this stuff with that but I didn't know if you sparred the first fucking day against just unlicensed fucking guerrillas, bro. Right. Oh, no, no, no. They go at it. In those two minutes, I mean, they are going at it like guerrillas in those two minutes that they're trying out and doing jih Tzu for Joe Silva, who was at the time the matchmaker. You know, he was the man.

Yeah. Now how long was the house journey for? Seven weeks. Seven weeks. No cell phones. No cell phones, no TV, no radio, no outside communication. Yeah, seven days a week, you're going to the gym and to the house. Twice a day, seven days a week.

Yeah, it's intense. With the same fucking beat. And then you're living with the- Smelling farts, fucking feet, and fucking. Playing pranks. Yeah, all of that. But, you know, I was with a good group of guys, to be honest. A lot of the guys, all of them fought in the UFC,

which Dana has never I don't think has ever besides the ultimate fighter where he gives everybody a contract so now you're fucking 21 you win the ultimate I mean when you were 12 were you dreaming of fighting no no never never I was wrestling I was wrestling just trying to become a wrestler and all of a sudden here you are on this big stage yeah man I remember I remember walking out to that ultimate fighter for now and just feeling overwhelmed

and I wanted to cry because I just remember being in the tunnel before I walking out before walking out to that fight just be like wow all this time imagining being here

and I'm here and I was just just came over this this feeling of overwhelmingness do you still get overwhelmed I don't think so no you don't get overwhelmed sometimes when you're walking to a octagon against somebody and you go, Jesus fucking, I mean, you went up against Vito Belfour,

correct? Yeah. This is somebody that you watched. Yeah. Years ago on TV. You watched them. You watched them destroy people. You watched them lose.

You watched Big Vidor. Right? And here you are across, you're looking Vito or Belvoir. Yeah. You know, I told you, you were at the comedy store Tuesday night. It was a great night, great lineup. Oh, amazing. Then we went to the back and.

Joe Schilling was there. That was amazing. Everybody was talking. Thursday night, you know, I'm sitting back there. I've been doing this 27 years, and I still get overwhelmed at times. In those situations, which on the drive home, it's just coming down from that. Naturally, I don't bring brief for in my car. I don't like it.

They gave us a choice to smoke smoking your fucking house, smoking your yard. But to be puffing in your car, you're asking for trouble. But you felt that way when? Thursday had to bring up Martin Lawrence. Okay, no big deal for some people. No big deal. I still remember renting the tapes, the best of death comedy jam,

when I was starting out with a pencil on a piece of paper and watching him, you know, and going, Jesus fucking Christ, how good is this guy, you know? Amazing. And listen, 27 years driving up World Canyon, I called Lee, I just brought up Martin fucking, you know. That's amazing. Following Jeff Ross, Sebastian,

and I'm like, here I am 55 years old, which most people in this career would be fucking done. I'm overwhelmed. That's amazing. So I can't imagine. That's so dope. I can't imagine walking into the octagon as tough as you are with the fucking weapons you have

and looking up and seeing a dude you sat around with your buddy's drinking beer watching six, seven years ago, eight years ago, you know. Yeah, there's a sense of overwhelmingness. Is that what the word? That's the word. Something like that. Yeah, please. You're not the wrong now.

You just feel overwhelmed. But not in the sense that, oh, my God, I didn't know what the heck is going on in the sense that. that this is a big deal and I'm nervous about it. Like before walking out, you get a torn, I call it a tornado of emotions. I mean, you're happy, you're scared, you want to cry, you want to laugh, you want to, you want to do a, it's a tornado of emotions. You know, and that's, that's the overwhelming part. That's the part that you've got to learn how to handle or else it can mess you up. I mean, all these nerves, all this tension inside of you, you got to learn how to channel it and how to, how to, how to, um,

Yeah, I don't channel it, really. As a comic, as a comedian, when I watch a fight, for me, when I watch a fight, the walk is the most intriguing thing for me. I don't even think of the fight no more. Like when I used to do the shows with Joe, it's very important for sure. It was very important for me to go to the way in. It was very important. I always watch the way in. I watched the guy's reaction at the way in because, let me tell you something.

my friend Kevin Gastelman, it's the same for me. When that blue light comes on and that comic is on stage, and I'm next, and I've been sitting back there, howling, laughing at the comic before me, and that blue light comes on, which means I got about three minutes, and I take that swig of water,

I get up, I pull my shirt down, I pull my jacket up. You have no idea, like the emotions that you're feeling. It's kind of like the tornado of emotions. It's a tornado emotions, but I've only got a 10-foot walk. So I have 10 feet to fake the funk, as I call it, fake the funk. I'm falling apart inside.

For sure. I am dying inside. I am getting kicked by 20 Puerto Ricans in the Bronx in 1968. That's what you feel like. For sure. And then you hit the stage and your knee buckles. There's times my knee buckles. You know what I'm saying?

Come on, guys. My knee buckles. It's a six-inch thing. And then you get up, you shake the guy's hand, you give him a hug. And once you touch that microphone, we were talking about it the story. Right, right. I remember. We were talking about the psychology of it.

That walked to me when I watch a fire to walk in and he's jumping up. Oh, my God. If it was me, I would run like dash and then dirty feet before I saw fucking, what's the cop's name? or the black dude herb dean yeah i just turn around and roll into running to the audience from like i couldn't imagine that walk some guys walk real slow i would have to run and then run in the cage and like put a cop on me to make sure i wouldn't run out oh yeah that's how scared i would be like oh that walk i don't like i don't like that fucking yeah no you're behind this curtain and they got a big big freaking light in your face they tell you okay you got 30 seconds there's the

countdown and then this whole time you're getting all this adrenaline rush going through your body you're like ah you know like i'm ready to go now forget the 30 seconds and they're trying to pull my shirt like you can't go now and uh i'm like fucking let me go you know i want to go and fight down like you just get this adrenaline rush uh you're scared you're happy at the same time you know at what point do you lose it when your foot hits the mat but but i get what you're saying with the with the before walking out to the stage, you do feel like, oh my God. I fake the funk. You have to.

I fake the funk. I'll let you know right now. That walk to the stage for me, I'm ready to get in the fucking car and run home. I'm the same. And never come out of my house again. Absolutely. That walk is a fake walk if there's ever been a fake walk ever. You have to fake it.

It's fake it there you make it. Fake it until you get there and then we'll worry about it. Once I touch the microphone, I don't know. That's like your jab. That's your first, that's the first punch you throw. It's either the first punch I throw or the first punch I get thrown at. Sure. Because I feel the same is I'm crapping my pants on the way to the arena, you know?

And as soon as my, I threw that first punch, all those errors are gone. I'm concentrating 100% on what's in front of me. That's when I truly feel when I'm living in the moment because I'm constantly, concentrating 110% in what's in front of me. Now, when you've been in the fight, you've lost fights. Yeah. Has there ever been a fight that you've been in that you thought you were going to lose and you ended up fucking doing something crazy?

Well. What was your toughest opponent, you think? I always go in there thinking I'm going to win. But deep down inside, there's always this other... There's a doubt. There's a doubt. For sure, you know, and I think, in my opinion, I feel like every fighter goes in there with their mindset. Like, yes, I'm there to win, but there's a real possibility that I can get knocked down.

Or some guys just don't think they can get knocked out. They go in there. Bad things happen, you know, but it's a mentality thing. It's crazy. And then how about getting knocked out in front of a million people? And waking up, you know, last week, thank God I've never been knocked out. No, I got submitted.

But, you know, it's funny how a couple weeks ago, Hector Lombard threw that late punch, and he knocked that dude out. And that dude kept saying, what happened? CB Dalloway. What happened? That's a hard. For me, in front of a million people to get up

and then walk out of it and not really know what happened and see all those people. Like that could happen on the street by yourself. Yeah. But for it to happen, like all those parts of that aspect of fighting have always intrigued me. Because I compare them to bombing and then walking out in front of the people. Or bombing. Yeah.

And standing outside after the show. And people walking past you without saying nothing to you. For sure. Really, feeling bad. Feeling sad. Yeah, it's the same type of emotions in a way. But like I said, every fighter, I've heard. Like, in my opinion, at least I do.

I go into with a, in my mind, with a certain reality set in my mind that I can get knocked out. I can get submitted. Just don't let it happen. Just don't let it happen. So this fight is May 12th. When do you start your official training camp? Well, we're about nine weeks away. So I already started training for this fight.

About nine weeks away. And this is 185. Um, yeah, middle weight, middle weight. I gotta give that fucking mule a break. I'm all right all there. Hit that mule two or three times and the fucking thing hits me back, you know what I'm saying? It can be rough. No, so now this is, so you're already in training camp now.

You're in the nine weeks away. Okay. How you, what is the usual training camp? Oh, man, it's about eight to ten weeks of just training, you know, getting, you know, getting in shape. making sure six days a week six days a week describe the week Monday Monday Monday Monday Wednesdays and Fridays I'm at Kings MMA okay well actually pretty much every day I my Kings a memory but Monday Wednesday Fridays is when we do I do it together with the whole pro team okay the whole pro team gets together and then in the

evenings I go with the amateur team it's more of an amateur team on Mondays and then Tuesdays I'm going on Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm going strength and conditioning Twice a week. And then in the evenings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So I'm either working my jit-tu or working my mitts, working mitts, reping. And then Saturdays I'm doing sprints. It's the only and last workout of the week.

It's sprints, it's the hard. That's good shit, though. It's tough, man. It makes me stronger than fuck sprints when you combine it with everything else. Oh, yeah, no, I've been doing that. When you combine. I used to live in Boulder, bro. In Boulder, Colorado's that.

health capital of the country, like back in the 80s. And I got to learn a lot. Like your neighbor, everybody does something. When you look at the entertainment guide in Boulder when I lived there, it was hiking to see the moon, you know, hiking looking for wolves. Outdoor activities. Outdoor activities. So I got to meet interesting people in that.

One of the guys that live down from me. A lot of those people are crazy. I mean, they know things that a lot of people don't. It's really fucking crazy. The guy down the corner from me was at that time a kinesiology major, but he already was strength and conditioning coach for Colorado. Colorado had a big black dude that was a strength and conditioning coach that was well known, and he was his understudy. And, you know, he had, his thing was running. 40 yards, 100 yards.

He believed. He was a sprinter. He believed in sprinting for training. Yeah. Any type of training for strength. For sure. He was like, that's the shit that nobody wants to do anymore. It's the basic shit.

It's the hardest thing because it just is the whole, you're just exploding your whole body. You know, no other workout is like a sprint. It's what my trainer says. It's just the type of reaction your body gets, no other workout gets it like that. You don't train any other aspect. Your body doesn't react the same than in any. any other workout only in sprints. Strength and conditioning has become a big part of it now.

Oh, huge. Years ago, nobody gave a fuck. Now they know that. Huge, huge. You have to keep your muscles lubricated. You have to stretch. For sure. You came it all cupped up.

How many times a week are you cupping? I'm doing once a week. That's great. Once a week cup and then once a week massage as well. And that's a lot. It helps a lot for recovery. You know what I mean? Somebody was telling me that they were,

having lunch with Dan Gable. Dan Gable was one of the greatest wrestlers that ever lived, American wrestler. And one of the most accomplished as well. And he trained like a mad man. You know, and he's got all these secrets and he's got all these ways of doing things that the wrestlers look up to him a lot, you know. But one thing he says he wished he would have focused on was recovery. I wish I would have focused more on recovery back in my day. And then I would have been able to do more. people have no idea how important when I turned

bro when I came from Cuba I hit in the head with a with a fucking lunch box and my mother put me in karate dog and I was you know I was in New York City I had in the head in Central Park you know and I have a five-year-old now and I was Tallinetti at his

child at his son's birthday party I go you're a tremendous black belt you're one of the top black belts in the country and your son is six and you can't explain jiu jitza to him why it's important he goes i know it's been tough i go my daughter doesn't comprehend her karate yet she doesn't comprehend she's five they the guy comes in on wednesdays and teaches him on location that you could go if you want i go to all the graduations and stuff but she doesn't know it's for self-defense you don't comprehend it's for self-defense do you get hit in the fucking head right

And I don't even know what my fucking point was. But so a couple of years ago, I got really heavy from the sleep apnea and the drugs and just focusing on comedy. You know, comedy was such a big part of my life at the time that I was living the lifestyle. That one in the more, you know, 10 years ago, if I would have bumped into you at one in the morning, me, you Victor Rogan in those days, stop. We're going to eat. Why are we standing here? Why are we standing here? Let's go to fucking, no, it's one.

We had to go to Cantors. Okay. And eat pastrami sandwiches, the French fries and onion soup and fucking crackers. And we'd sit there for two hours until fucking three in the morning. And whatever you don't eat, give it up. Because, you know, that three of us have been smoking. You know, it's fucking crazy. So I blew up to 418 pounds.

Wow. I went down to 270. And then I went up to like 3.40. Once I had the kid, I joined Jiu-Jitsu. I said, that's it. Gee, because I'm too old to fucking be doing ankle locks and shit like that. And it was so weird that even in my journey there, from there to now, the five years I've been messing around with it.

Like now, I'm working smarter. And you have to. I was going in there, and I wanted to do what Kelvin was doing. And if Kelvin said, let's go one more round, because it's my brother Kelvin, I'd do it again. Sure. And again and again and again the next thing, I'm opened up now. So at 50, yeah, I could open up. I could open up and breathing and I can get there and I could drink BCAAs.

And I can go there. It's two hours later when I can go to get out of the car. Now you're 50. There's lower testosterone. Me, I whack off. I do kettle bells. Testosterone is my middle. Stay in shape.

I knocked my wife up with 50 dogs. You ain't fuck with me. But I got to tell you something, dog. So now when I roll, roll, I roll twice a week. I go to Jitza only twice a week, and I do three, five-minute rows. Three-five minutes rolls? Three-five, and I do the technique.

I drill the technique. If you want to drill afterwards, I'll drill arm bars with you and guard passes and the whole thing with you. But after three rows, it defeats the purpose for me. Yeah. It defeats the purpose, because I also go to Muay Thai conditioning at nine. Oh, nice. So from nine to ten. So I want to go to four training sessions.

You know what, bro, I'm an animal. I smoke that dope in the morning, and it gets my heart kick. And I feel like Calvin, I'm going to go to... You're doing coffee? One cup. One cup. One cup.

Okay. Yogurt with wheat German old school to fight the fucking HIV. What's the other shit? The nuts, grape nuts. I'll do that, and I'll shoot over there just on that. You know, no eggs and nothing. But it's funny that. that all I can do is four times a week.

You have to be very realistic with your expectations. Yeah. And recovery is very important. Super important. You know, the idea I had to go home. Super important. I wasn't drinking. I wasn't doing nothing.

But when I get home at one, that means I don't fall asleep until two. Yeah. That means I'm up at seven with the five-year-old. That means the whole day I'm walking around halfway wounded. Don't get me wrong. I've ticked them. There's some days.

There's some days that they go by that way. But recovery is so important, and I didn't know until I got diagnosed with sleep apnea. When I had to sleep at me, Jesus Christ, that was the biggest weight gainer I had. Super important. Super important is sleeping, getting your rest. Oh, yeah. Sleep is another big one. Sleep is fucking huge.

The other day, I went to kickboxing conditioning on Sunday Saturday, and then I had to go to two kids parties. bro i got home at 4 30 by 5 o'clock papa tapped out i got up a 10 to 8 and i had a spot at 9 now that's completely different wow i can get up a 10 to 8 and make conditioning shower have a cup of coffee tweet you know suck my dick have a good day have a good day yeah and then fucking but the mind that was weird i had to get up drink coffee fucking take a hot shower and then talk to myself on the way down to the drive. And then when I got there, people were talking to me and had to, you know, I had to talk

to them so I could loosen up and I had an okay son. I had a bag of dicks but had a no case at the St. Paddy's Day. It's kind of weird how now I really got to take care of myself. You have to. You have to. I just had an aunt. Who's like my grandmother?

She had her stomach cut in about half or about a little ball. I don't know what that surgery is called. Yeah, like the gastric bypass. Gastric bypass surgery, exactly. She just had it done. I mean, you know, weight's always been a problem for her.

And she struggled with it all her life. She's 50. It's 50 now. And she had the surgery done. And she lost like 40 pounds last month. It was crazy. It was crazy. It's really...

Because, you know, eating habits are a problem for a lot of people. Bro, when I take those edibles, fucking Hercules can't stop me, dog. I'll pick that motherfucker up and fucking neck cranked with that if he gets in my way between me and the cabinets. But I'm pretty good. Like, I attack fruit first. Yeah.

Apples. So I go to Weight Watchers. Weight watches in my seat because of high protein. It's still high protein. She was on it as well, my aunt. Fuck, yeah. That shit is good shit, man. So I go there.

And so I could eat all the chicken I want. want. I can eat all the seafood I want. Salmon, you know, that's all free. Fruit is free. Beans are free. Like, yes, they had Eddie's. Eggs are free. I love eggs. So yes, they had Eddie's. I had rice and beans. I put eggs on everything. Oh, my God. I wish I could eat eggs like that. Really? If I scrambled them with some green chili. Yeah. Like some fucking New Mexico green style chili, no cheese, but a cup of potatoes. I grew up on eggs. All there was in my fridge, sure enough was eggs of milk and tortillas. Oh my God.

And beans. And that works, bro. And that's where I grew up on. Listen, eggs and beans and a tortilla. That shit works with some salsa. Mm-hmm. Ooh. That's it, man.

Fuck it. There's no cheese or salsa will work. It's all there was to eat back in the day. But this is, no, I... So I love it. I love it. I put it on everything. When I saw you the other night,

I'm like, this kid... fights the way he does because he's a young man. He's still like a fucking sponge. Yeah. And that's why when you were walking up the stairs, I go, how old are you now? Yeah. Oh, my God. It just fucked my whole mind up.

My whole mindset up about you. I've been in the public eye now for about five years. And it's been, it feels like it's been 10 years, you know. A lot has happened in the five years. And I've grown, you know, I've. I guess I've matured a lot in the public eye. And they've seen me, you know, they've seen me grow from a young man to almost 27-year-old now later this year. It's just been an incredible, incredible, incredible journey.

You know, we were giggling on the way in that I said, show up at this time because I do a periscope. I don't want you to test positive for the reaffir. And when you came in before the show started, you kind of told me to tell us a story or how it's 12 hours. before the fight or something like that. Right. So when I got caught, I read up on all the rules, of course. I had to read up on it and figure it out for myself. And I found out that they test for it only in competition.

And what was in competition was they consider it 12 hours before the ballot. So if you saw it comes to my gym a week out and I test positive for T. See what happens? Nothing. I still fight. I still get my purse. but at the same time you gotta be under the THC metabolite limit which I believe is is 150

which is a fuck you sitting in that chair no you sitting in that chair is that what it is oh yeah probably I don't know can you imagine if you test positive for THC now and we all have to go to court me and Lee with the tape footage I would love to know what my metabolites are Sample. Take samples off the wall.

They've probably never seen... We've been in this office for fucking... Charts like that, Lee. They really haven't. No, we've been in this office for two years. I don't know how much T8 says. It's got to be time. Every time I vacuum, I get to sell it to the weed store.

Oh, yeah. There's shit. There's shit all over the floor. He could put out his own dispensary down there. It's fucking crazy. 12, so 12 hours. Yeah. That was a big blow, man. That sucked when that happened.

Lesson learned. I mean, I got pulled off the Anderson Silver fight in Rio. You know, I lost my bonus that I had for that fight. And then, you know, like I said, I got pulled off the fight, which was potentially more money for the fight, you know, and then was suspended for three months for first violation. You'll never do it again. Now you learn your lesson.

You know why you learn your lesson? Because they hit you in the pocket. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, that was a big blow, especially in the pockets. I mean, I must have lost over 100 grand. Yeah, no, no, that's when it hurts you. That's when you go, okay, I get it next time.

Now we understand. You're compendro now. Exactly. I was a little fucking confused. Now we got this. We know the limits. We know the limits and stuff. So now you're going to stay at 185.

Well, to be honest, nobody knows this, but I was, I was considering going down a 175. They were even considering giving me a fight at 170. In Chile, they wanted me to headline it. And nobody knows that. But I contemplated it over a few weeks, like two weeks, with my manager, you know, just going back and forth. When you walk around that? Like 205.

But I contemplated because I was just going back and forth with my manager saying, like, yeah, just give me the best. 170 guy in the world you know I want the guy that'll get me the title shot or give me the best 185 guy that'll get me the title shot and um it just it just it just turns out that they wanted me to fight somebody that I didn't not in top five um which I wanted to I wanted to fight somebody in top five somebody that'll get me the title shot but um they didn't want to give me somebody like that they didn't want to give me a top 15 guy so I was like well that's a risk you know I'm realistically, possibly I'm about two or three fights away from a title shot at 170. 185.

I win one or two more. What's Jacaree? Two and one. He's ranked second. Yeah. So you go when you jump over Jacqueray, you're right there. You can talk to shit. Well, your last fight, you beat the champ like he was the champ four weeks before your fight.

Something like that's ranked. That's ranked. So he was the number two ranked when he fought me. Now I get to fight Jacqueray, who's ranked number two. and hopefully gets me in line for the title shot next time. Hopefully you have me all next time. I bring the bell. Bring it right here.

Yeah, no, I hope. I wish you all the luck in the world. You're a great young man. I mean, 20 fucking 6 years. Just to handle not just fighting, but what goes with it? Man. Listen, I love comedy, bro. I love doing comedy.

I love it. I just got into it, and I've been following you guys for a while now. No, I love doing comedy the way you love fighting. Sure. There comes a point though sometimes you go, why miss there be all this drama just for me to do what I want to do? Right.

I got to wear shorts. I got to do this. You gotta wear a shirt. I gotta wear pants. I gotta have people knocking on my door six in the morning. They want a sample of blood. Who does this? Not even Dracula does that.

They want blood. It's six in the morning. I got to wait here. I got two hours from them to... It's insanity. Nice. You go. It is.

That's what people don't really understand. It's that last. blasting through what goes around. Your manager shorts you on the check. All of a sudden they find them in a brothel with three hookers and the Kardashian's ex-buddy forming from the mouth. And now you've got to get a new manager. It's all this shit that trying to focus on what's in front of you

with all this shit going around you. It's been hard. Oh, yeah. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard at my age. I can't imagine.

At 26, doing what you're doing. At 26, I was doing time, bro. Yeah, that's crazy. At 26, I wasn't thinking about nothing. I was thinking about just surviving on a daily day basis. I didn't give a fuck about anything else. That's crazy. I really, so you got joccuray now.

Jesus fucking Christ. May 12th, which is three months away, but in reality, it's three weeks away. Like, that's how fast time goes. Oh, yeah. When the clock is ticking. Oh, yeah, especially when you're in. camp once that four week mark hits now it settles

in now that's when you know oh my god four weeks away that's three weeks of training plus fight week you know that's that's coming up short and time goes quick and fight week is drama week in other words go downstairs talk to the media

you gotta throw sidekicks in public and a bunch of people with fucking cameras I want to throw this shit I get I do this in the mirror for myself you know I'm saying Oh, yeah. They went outside of the hotel. Oh, my God. It's a nightmare.

I can't imagine. When I see public workouts, like whatever they call them, open workouts. Yeah, yeah. I shit my fucking pants. Like, I would snap after three minutes. Like, after three minutes, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. Enough.

Enough coming down here. Look at a guy trash. Go home. Get on a bicycle. Your fat fucks are cameras. It's a little scary sometimes. I mean, you get all these eyes looking at you. you get a little overwhelmed.

Hey, Calvin, especially me. You know, I'm not a guy that's always been used to the spotlight. I like to kind of lay low and kind of stay out of eyesight, you know. And so a guy like me, when spotlights on, I get overwhelmed. I like get panic attacks almost, you know, but you've got to learn how to deal with it. You have to. You know, we were talking about entertainment. I was talking, I don't know who the fuck I was talking about entertainment about. And I go, I learned a lot about entertainment from wrestlers.

I did the longest yard. Really? How those guys behaved towards the public compared to the movie stars in the movie, how they would hide. Wrestlers were out there. Yeah. Talking to people, shaking hands, you know, hugging people. WWE wrestlers? Yeah, Steve Austin.

Oh, wow. And Kevin Nash. Oh, wow. And we had one more guy that was doing stunts or something. He was a wrestler. So funny. That's crazy. Those guys were getting blasted.

Those guys were living like doctors. Oh, yeah. They even got, like, if you watch the longest yard, the guards went to Adam Sandler and said, listen, dog. Yeah? It went on on the set by 10. We'll soon start drinking. And they brought a blender in. And they would send the fucking AD to get beers every day.

Oh, a bunch of pieces. Oh, and Goberg. Oh, I remember. We would do is we would lock Goldberg's. door from the inside. No. And he was trying to get it. No.

And then every day he would rip the door off the hinges. Just rip it through like nothing. Like nothing off the fucking hinges. He would rip it just on purpose. That dude is huge. He was huge at the time. I remember him. I remember him.

It was something that. Stone cold as well. Stone cold was. And at that time, this is 2004. He was still stone cold. And I just did his podcast and he said it. He goes, dog, I was drinking with three fucking hands. They were fucking getting fucked up, man.

That's a complete different world. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, that dude was the face of WWE or WWF at one point. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Goldberg. I mean, those are all big-time guys that get paid a lot of money. A lot of money. Let me get some shoutouts.

Let me get this fucking party started here. Side catac. Whatever. It's your birthday again. cock sucker. Knock it off over there in Japan. Christopher Owens, Paul Robinson, Marcelo Matos,

Joey O'Neill, Abel Zarin, Gina Jackson, Sergio Ortega, the man of steel. Blank, Radio Shack, and my favorite juice place, the greenhouse juice over on Lancash. I'm going there and tell him Uncle Joey

says that shit is real over there, dog. What is it? They got like these fucking, my friend from a conditioning class goes, bro, I went over there and started drinking these. They got everything. They got fucking compocha untapped. Okay. They got fucking kale.

I had kale there for the first time. I wouldn't try kale if you paid me. But they have coconut, pineapple with kale, but they don't put the stems in it. Okay. So you don't taste nothing. It tastes it delicious. Okay. And you know me, dog.

I don't like fucking tasty shit. Yeah, yeah. If it don't taste good, I don't give a fuck. I love Mike Doche, but he's got a lot of fucked up shit on his diet. You know what I'm saying? Like quinole and shit like that, I ain't eating that shit. Which one? Quinoa.

Quinoa. Whatever the fuck? Yeah, I ain't eating that shit, dog. Nothing is never going to happen. He's got a lot of canoa. He's got a lot of canoa, and I don't like that shit. He's got a lot of lot of stuff. But he's got some good recipes.

In the book, he's got three or four. Oh, he's legit. Good fucking recipes. He's got a couple breakfast recipes that are yummy. You just got a tag. Like, I don't like honey. I've been able to work with Mike a long time ago. I worked with Mike.

and he was so good so good what do you mean you don't like honey I don't like honey don't know right who doesn't like honey honey? I don't like honey what don't you like about it is too sweet the texture makes me

fucking gag I barely like maple syrup remember I just don't like honey all right though I'm fucking honey I gotta like honey all of it something but they made like assai bowls which I never really had

those are good but they make a thing called the antioxidant. It's like asaid juice, pomegranate juice. It's pretty good. You had a little protein scoop and your tip-top magoo. You're ready to go, you know what I'm saying? You're trying to work it out. No.

What I wanted to say to you was, I'll never forget this. Like, this had to be the first expo. I was really excited, and I go, Joe, let's go on Thursday. And he's like, I'm not going down there. I've got to do a talk. with Goldberg on stage, and it's going to be fucking crazy. So I asked somebody from the U.S. and he'd go, we'll get you a pass, and I went down there.

And I'm not going to say his name. This fighter dog, he was surrounded, and he had a look on his face like he wanted to shoot himself. What? Because he suffered from social anxiety, bro. It happens. Spend all you like in the gym and others eight million people. Yeah, it was too much.

This is why, like, that time I walked around the expo. the first time I go, you know what, man? Do you remember when Rocky was training in the gym? Yeah. And then for two or three, he started going to a casino. Yeah, to train? Yeah. And the old man quit.

Something happened. Didn't the old man? Yeah. Mickey got pissed off. Yeah, he didn't want to train him for his fight against. That's what it feels like. Oh. Like when they take you to those things, you know what?

They should really ask the fighters. Are you into this? are you into throwing sidekicks in public and talking to 200 people afterward? Or they should give them classes or on how to deal with it. Well, it seems like from what I've seen recently that if you want to be a star, unfortunately,

it's kind of like having social media. You probably, if we had a choice, we might not have it or be on it as much. But to be a star in the UFC, you kind of have to be in front of the TV cameras. Yeah, one thing is huge about the UFC. The fans get. to interact with them.

You know, no other sport, I think, has more interaction with the athletes than UFC, you know? You got to imagine, think of a world where I could tweet Julia Serving today. I could tweet you. I could tweet, name him. I could tweet Anderson Silva. He won't get back to me, but if I keep tweeting him eventually, he'll get back to me one day. He'll notice that I'm the real deal. I'm his fan.

You have this contact now with people that you never had contact with before. Right. In your life, even if you say things on their page or whatever. Absolutely. So it's a different world. When I was growing up, there's no contact. They didn't have that anymore. You had a fucking poster of Kevin Gastelman on my wall.

That's it. Kevin Gastelman didn't go to McDonald's and shake hands on Saturday the first. You know what I'm saying? Like, that didn't fucking happen. Like, unless I bumped into you at the hotel or something. something like that. You know it's funny the first time, first couple times I saw you fight.

I was in the middle of reading the Roberto Durant story. Okay. I think you remember telling me. They turned it into a fucking movie and the movie sucked dick because it was 20 years too late. Nobody knows what Roberto Durant is. But during his time, and you were

obviously, you've seen him. Yeah. You've seen him throw beatings on people on YouTube. The one fight where he just fell. He was vicious. He was vicious. You always reminded me something in your face, the way you bang. And it's funny that that persona for a lap, see, the U.S. Sech really tried for years to open up the Latino door.

And they've succeeded in Mexico. They really have. They've done a great fucking job in Mexico. Oh, yeah. They've done a great job in a lot of good places. But they never have, like, a Mexican guy. to talk fucking shit. You know what I'm like just to talk shit and throw the microphone and speaking Spanish

and bad words and fucking go fucking bananas. I don't know if you've seen Canelo Alvarez? Yes, yes. Well, his recent interview, he was talking smack to Triple G's trainer. You know how he just kind of opens his mouth all the time. He just tested hot though Canela, right? Oh, yeah. He's done, right?

Claim Butro. No, he's got the fights going on still. They said that as soon as he tested. positive. What they say? That they were still going to fight. Yeah. No, no. Nothing has been

sanctioned. What's that? Clambutoral or something like that. Is it a steroid or a pain thing? I don't know what type of steroid or pain thing it is, but I guess it's a PED. It's considered a PED. I'm not sure

what it does. But I guess it's found in a lot of the meat in Mexico. And so, if he's eating tacos out in the middle of camp then he'll probably test if some of that meat is contaminated with that

because they give it to the animals in Mexico to make them grow faster I think or bigger, bigger or faster, one of the two they give him steroids and so a lot of the Mexican fighters and even if you look back I guess a couple

of years ago at the Australian Is that what you're doing? I think the last World Cup The Mexican team had tested for Climbutoral Because of the contaminated meat

It's a steroid Yeah it's a PED I'm not sure what it is It's it thins the blood For more oxygen Oh wow yeah So if you get more oxygen You get more

Just go more And for weight loss maybe I think it says that too So that's so Boxing they don't give a fuck, Jack You can show up with your muterol, Benbuteril, Diana Ball, the cousin

And they'll look at you and they'll go What do you want to do here? Who gives it for? Yeah, I thought that was interesting Because I got the same I got an email from Yosada When I was fighting in China Like be careful of the meat in China

Make sure you go to all these high-end restaurants Instead of going down to the butcher And just getting your meat there or something Really? Because it's contaminated with climbutrol. And athletes have tested positive for for clumbutrol, but no, nothing has been sanctioned against them because they know of the circumstance.

But they got to, they got to do something about it. I feel like, I don't know. The people stuff in the meat? Yeah, maybe. Or the fucking. Because they know it's a problem. Like the Mexico national team had tested positive for it, like I said. this Mexican national soccer team

So every supplement you take You send it to you Sada first You have to send them a list Well I don't ever take supplement Nothing nothing They scared the crap out of me too So that's it You just where you're like

No I'm not taking nothing I'm not even risking it You know you go to these athlete retreats Where they These USADA representatives come in And they talk to you And they just scare the crap out of you You know

They give you a list of all these 800 supplements and you're just looking at it. It's gibberish to me. I don't know what any of these things are. But if I test positive for it, then I'm fucked. You know? So you don't go to GNC, yoked, nothing. You don't do shit.

No. No protein powder. I get a massage once a week. Okay. No, I do protein now. Now that I replace it with a meal or something every now and then. Like I'm like on a weigh protein. Yeah, yeah, organic or something like that.

Yeah, you got to be fucking careful. Yeah, they scare the crap out of you. It's crazy. And the fucking people, like, I didn't know it was that bad. HBO, one of those, did a thing about vitamins. About two years ago, three years ago. But how are easy this to make vitamins? Because there's no regulation on it.

They showed these. There's none. Somebody showed G.N.C. What the fuck is that? NGC. National Geographic. National Geographic has those late-night shows about fucking drug dealers, drugs, ink, and all those.

It was one of those. There's no regulation for it. No regulation. They hire fucking, they go down, they hire fucking 10 people, they bring them into a fucking thing to fill pills all day. And these people take the pills,

put them in boxes, and ship them out. You don't know what the fuck is in it. You have no fucking idea. It's all bullshit. shit half the time. Yeah, you can mix in dirt and shit and put in a pill and sell it and call it

Clembeytrell. And nobody regulates it, you know? And it's scary. It's scary. As a fighter, what's your opinion? Obviously, you don't want to cheat or be accused of cheating, but do you what's your opinion on fighting someone?

What do you still want to fight them if they test it positive? Like, if you were, like, what's your opinion on the people who do that? Does it give you that much of an advantage? I mean, I don't, I have zero idea when it comes to what steroids does to your body. As you can tell, I probably don't do steroids. You know, I'm one of the few athletes. You know, after Usada, more athletes started looking more like me with a little pouch.

You know what I mean? But I don't mind it. If guys are cheating, which I'm sure. I fought guys that were cheating and I beat them, it don't matter to me. Can you imagine you're still getting beat up? That's the thing. Like, if you cheat

and you still get up to them up and that's the other side of it. That's the other side of the fucking coin. That's the other side of it. That would suck. I know there's guys that are using it and there's doctors that they're monitoring the levels. I know it. I don't know who,

but I know it. There's out there. There's people doing steroids, monitoring their levels to where they don't go over the limit, you know. And they're good at it. They're good at getting away with it. But they won't for a long time. They'll get popped eventually.

And it sucks. And it sucks to know that. The odds are always against you. And it sucks to know that. Especially when you... Well, look at the Russians. Look at the, that. They were out of the Olympics, the winter Olympics

because everybody was doing something. Something. They've been doing it since they were 10, though. I guess there was, I don't know who told me. Somebody, there was a doctor that had been juicing them all. This is what I heard. I'm not 100% accurate. This is what they told me.

This doctor had the secret formula for juicing, for performance enhancing drugs to where you don't fail. And he had all these Olympians, juicing, and then he had all these athletes just juicing. And he knew how to do it perfectly to the tea. He knows the science. And he went out. He went out in public and said it all.

And I guess now there's a hit on this guy because now that's the reason they were out of the Olympics. I don't know. Like that, like, that's kind of a crazy situation to him. Like, that would be the same thing like the UFC. And just to be like the, like, they're not doing this, but it'd be like the UFC saying you have to take steroids. Like, here's your steroids. Right. We want it.

We want exciting fights. Right. Like that. Like the whole national team and all, you know, yeah. Well, Russia's been doing it, pro. They've been doing it since Jesus left Chicago. It's no... The Russians are coming.

The Russians are coming. There's no disrespect to nobody or nothing. For sure. They just, this is what they've been, been good at for years. So I guess this doctor went out, went out in public and said how he, how he was cheating all these years. And now that's the reason they were outed. And now there's a hit on this guy. I think he's in the United States.

Look at the 60 minute they did on the doctor that had the base. Baseball player. Did you ever watch that interview? No. What's Alex Hernandez? Rodriguez. Alex Rodriguez. Okay.

I remember the player. Did you see the strategy they had? No. I mean, he had this. I mean, when you're making Alex Rodriguez money, you're my doctor. Baseball players are overpaid. Calvin, like, I don't care of a fuck about your practice. Like, it's over.

Tell those old ladies, manana. I don't give a fuck. Send them a. Coast Guard, you and me from now on. And the guy was just his private doctor. Wow. And Kelvin, they had it to a science. Yeah, I'm sure.

Bro, they had it to such a science that he made gummy bears for him that he would give him in the sixth inning. Edibles. Edibles. Bro, edible fucking testosterone. Oh, wow. I believe it. You know, you got to look it up. You got to, tonight when you go home and you can't sleep, go 60 minutes, Alex Rodriguez is a doctor.

And he's talking about, he would give him these gummy bears in the sixth inning. And that's why in the eighth inning he would always his own runs. Because he would get that second urge, surge towards the end. He had him programmed. Crazy. And even if he tested him after the baseball game, he would always test clean. It was crazy. They had it to a sign.

But when you're paying, what I'm saying, Kelvin, this is all you're going to. do your job is to make sure I'm clean but I need to fucking be dirty and fuck he's monitoring those levels I need to look like Konseko but nobody

you fucking nobody you have to know everything about everything about everything call your cousin call the Chinese dude I don't give who you got a call yeah yeah you got the money yeah this guy you know but

UFC I mean steroids are expensive enough I mean all that shit I'm not sure. Bro, all that shit has gone off the fucking roof. That's such a big trade. I'm sure. Science has gone so far with it.

I'm sure. Yeah, bro. Why don't we have a cure for cancer? What are they of all this? Listen, bro. I had a buddy in 98. Maybe it's out there. He died in 99.

And I had breakfast in him a couple months before he died. And he was a bodybuilder. And he was telling me that he paid for two treatments. 10,000 apiece. or they take the juice out of a dead cadaver sponge What? You know, this is just... Stem cells.

This is... They may stepsell it? I don't fucking know. They take the powder and then they drink it. 10,000, bro. He looked like he had a two by four. Chest. You think I'm kidding, bro.

I love this kid. As crazy and he's drugged out as he was, Kelvin. He made him. sure I went to my gigs and I got there on time you know this is who's it? He's dead now. This kid here

before he died he was like a fucking tremendous bodybuilder but he was a bodybuilder shooting snorting. Okay yeah he's pretty smoking cheese yeah no no this was a monster of a man monster but part like one time he was telling me like breakfast he goes

nah they can't catch me I got this new shit you go over to the Bronx and it's the cadaver of the spine and you go to the brunt and I'm like what the fuck are you talking about he's like yeah it's better than steroids

his chest looked I remember at breakfast I was looking at him and he was off-season okay so he was boken up and shit like that Kelvin he had three inches of muscle that was perfect it looked like a board it looked like somebody had opened up his chest

and put boards in it. Wow. So they got everything out there. I'm sure. I'm sure. Fucking crazy. Well, listen, brother, I'm happy that you took the time. We've been going back and forth for months.

Yeah, yeah, we have. I know you're busy and shit. Yeah, I know. My schedule was crazy, especially when I was out in town in the holidays stuff, visiting my mom in Arizona. But I appreciate you. You keep in contact, man, and bring me out. No, I like a lot of fun.

I like all the videos. of you and your mom. Whenever they do the fucking... The countdown and stuff. Yeah, that's good that you... Well, you know, she's... You have a big family support behind you. Yeah, yeah.

But my mom really has been the rock for my family, you know. I didn't grow up with a dad, so it was her. And now you're at Kings for this truck. Now I'm at Kings for... Well, I've been in Kings for the past three years now. And that's home. That's home.

Huntington Beach. That dude knows his movie tie. Raphael Cordero? You know Raphael Cordero? Yeah, I've never met him personally. I'd just seen him in the video. Come on out. Anytime if you're in the area.

Is it great down there? Oh, the energy that... It's you, Dosayneus, Verdun. So, Dosayno doesn't train there anymore? Really? Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure. I never knew really what the Fallout was there. And I didn't really ask.

Don't know nothing. No, you don't know nothing. You just go to the train and mind your business. Yeah, exactly. And then one day he didn't show up. So then... Machita trains there. I trained there.

Fabrice Redoom trains there. Marvin Vittori trains there. He's another middleweight up-and-comer. Gigga Chikaze, who's freaking monster, one of the greatest. He's a glory kickboxer. He was ranked like third in his

division. So we just got a lot of world-class talent there, man. You go Friday sparring. You go there on the sparring days? You're done. Well, it's kind of like having a fight. You remember that a tornado of him? emotions that I talk about and I get that every Friday.

How long of the rounds? Five minutes. How many rounds? Five. Everybody. Everybody. Switching. Switching. Switching. So you go with Machita, you go with... I go with Fabricio. I go with Marvin. No weight limits. Full blast? Yeah. Full blast. Only Friday. Only Friday. Full blast, but not really. Full blast. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not like elbows and knees to the face, no, no, no, no. Needs.

No, but it's another level. It's like adding another fight to your record. I'm taking you down. I'm taking you down. I'm going to punch you in the face. Or I'm going to throw my leg kick right at your face. Like, I'm there to... To see if this shit's working.

Yeah, exactly. To see if this shit's working. You know, if you want to work on something, if you want to throw something you've worked on during the week, throw it in practice. Good for you, man. Yeah, no, I love it. I love my time out here in SoCal.

I've been to a lot of places before. Where else did you? I was in San Diego before that, out of an alliance. And then before that, well, I was kind of traveling around, going to the lab. I was going to the lab with Benson Henderson. I was going with Ryan Bader and C.B. He's all the way over at Power, M.A. in Arizona. And I went to Montreal with Farazah Hobby and George St. Pier to check them out back in the day.

Yeah, I just kind of been around, but I found like SoCal, Ralph El Cordero. That's what works for me. Yeah. Well, brother, I wish you all the luck in the world. You're a gentleman, and I'm sure you're going to be champion someday, whether at 170. We're going to try. A 185. When you find that 170, listen.

When you go to Weight Watchers, bro, they have, they have, like, points. The old Weight Watchers, when I first joined, they had points, and they were so racist. They had a broken down to races, okay? So they had, like, Cuban food, you know, 26 points, Cuban sandwich. 26 points. You get 40 for the day, and a Cuban sandwich is 26 points. When you turn to Mexican food, they had a skull and two fucking bones. Because it is just...

Bro, Mexican food fucking kills you. Bro. We both know it. When I lived in Colorado, I had to ride a bike, hit the bag, and swim three times a week. Because if not, those green chili burritos, we just went back and he got a fucking one of those green chili. Mexican burgers and a tortilla smothered with cheese with beans and rice and lettuce on. Ideas meal away. It was fucking.

It was tremendous. Yeah, no, I mean, my mom cooks everything for me. You know, when I'm back home, it's trouble. So after the fight now, May 12th, May 14th, you go home? I go to visit, yeah. You go home, get your head back to the bedroom. Yeah, go on a little vacation. I found that going on a little vacation.

It kind of resets my mind pretty good. Sometimes going home to your old bedroom focuses you a little bit too. Yeah, you know what? It hasn't changed since high school. No, so it's still there. Yeah. And, you know, the walk and you're, It makes you feel like how you were at that time.

You married? No. Single girlfriend? I got a girlfriend. Look at you, you savage you. I didn't plan it, but it just happened. It just happened and stuff. Will you look happy?

I'm happy you made the trip finally to the church. They're going to love you. Let me just say two things and we'll get you the fuck out of here. Remember, Santa Ana Casino, Albuquerque. I'm coming down. The only tickets left, I think, a Thursday night, April 5th. And then Columbus. Four motherfucking 20.

I'm there the whole weekend at the Funny Bone in Columbus. Get your tickets now. Like I told you before the show started, when it comes to Uncle Joey, I'm a Fuji-Gi type of guy. I'm a saparito type of guy, and I got the Sakai. I got the Sapirito and I got the new one. But I'm a saparito type of guy. It's the medium-range one, like 134.

And they got it for big guys, A-6 and A-5. I just dropped from an A-6 to an A-5, bitch. You better be looking out. I'm passing guards now and shit finally. Don't be fucking with me. You know, I love you. But anyway, go to fujisports.com and press in church,

and I'm going to give you 10% off whatever the fuck you got going on. You know what I'm saying? Help everybody out. And also on it.com for supplements, they're my people. Half a brain. Without the shroom tech,

I will last fucking 10 minutes at conditioning class. Thank God I snort one and I pop one. And everybody's happy. I'm kidding. It's a joke cuck suckers. Don't snort it. You're under 18, don't snort that shit.

If you're over 18, don't snort it. Look at Lee Cracking Fonies all of a sudden. It's got a resume now. I love you, motherfuckers. I want to thank and wish you all the luck in the world by Jacaray. You got all the tools to beat him, bro. Thank you, bro. You got Latin Mexican fucking apocalyptic, arque.

You know what I'm saying? Hey, I do have some native blood. Yeah, yeah. Yaki. You're out of the yikes? Yes, brother. Yeah, they were there before the Mayans. That's where my family's from in Mexico.

Really? Yeah. Fucking tremendous. Warriors. Anyway, I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great week. Kelvin Gastonan, future fucking UFC champ. And my man Lee Syed, I love you.

Don't forget. Albuquerque, Santa Ana Casino, Thursday night tickets left only, and the Columbus Funny Bone with Kate Quigley. That's what I forgot to. tell you, 419, 420, and 421. I want to thank all you savages for listening. Have a great weekend. See you next Monday.

Stay black. Alright. I'm serious. I'm serious. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Get him the bummer coming this. But it's up.

With so much drama in the LBC, it's kind of hard being Snoop D-O-D-W-G. But I, somehow, some way. Keep coming up a smoky-ass shit like every single day. May I kick a little something for the cheese and make a few ends as I bridge through. Two in the morning and the party still jumping because my mama ain't home. I got bitches in the living room getting it on and they ain't leave till six in the morning. So what you want to do?

Shit, I got a pocket full of ruffers and my homeboys do too. So turn off the lights and close the door. But what? We don't let him home. Yeah. So we don't smoke. a ounce to this. Jeans up, holes down, why you motherfuckers bounce to this.

Rolling down the street, smoking in down, stepping on the I got me some sequence gene. Everybody got their cups, but they ain't chipped in. Now this type of shit happens all the time. You gotta get yours, a fool, I gotta get mine. Everything is fine when you're listening to the DOG. I got the cultivating music that be captivating he who listens to the words that I speak

As I take me a drink to the middle of the street off the street and get to Macon to this bitch name's shake she used to be the home boy's lady oh that bitch 80 degrees when I tell that bitch please raise up off these in you teas because you get none of these at ease as I mob with the dog pound filled the breeze biot chub jest rolling down the street smoking in dingo sipping i'm getting juice laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my money on my Later on that day, my homie Dr. Drake came through with a game to Tangeray and a fat-ass Jay of some bubonic chronic that made me choke.

Shit, this ain't no joke. I had to back up off of it and sit my cup down. Tangorae and Chronic, yeah, I'm fucked up now. But it ain't no stopping, I'm still popping. Dre got some bitches from the city of Compton to serve me. Now put a cherry on top, because when I bust my nut, I'm raising the box of the cock. Don't get upset, girl, that's just hot goes. I don't love you, homes, I'm out the dough.

And now, please. Going down the street, smoking in now, stepping on getting hills. Lay back. Looking in.