The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #571 - Aubrey Marcus

Episode Date: March 29, 2018

Aubrey Marcus, the founder and CEO of Onnit and the host of the Aubrey Marcus Podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. Aubrey's new book Own the Day, Own Your Life will be released on April 17, 2018. It is available at www.aubreumarcus.com and Amazon: http://amzn.to/2HJYIU6 This podcast is brought to you by:  eharmony - Enter code CHURCH at checkout for a free month when you sign up for a 3 month subscription. eharmony brings compatible people together.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 03/28/2018.  

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There's no reason to be sitting there eating donuts with a cat. Enter code church at checkout, all right? Lee, kick this motherfucker mule. Oh shit. Here's the flavor, Coxeductus. Thursday, 29th is fucking March. What? Oh shit.

So church of what's happened now, motherfuckers. Coming at you. What? What? Jesus fucking My damn. Ninety-seven-something. Nigger, I don't sweat the day.

My mom was late. So I had the plan my escape out. Skins in this world the flagged. Jesus fuck to Christ. You're worried about bills. Listen to this motherfucker. Why? Aubrey Marcus.

The Christ killer. And Uncle Joey. 19, that's where my mama water burst. No spouse in the house. So she broke the self. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here. Aubrey Marcus in the motherfucking house.

What's up, my man? I can't call it, man. The flying Jews here, looking fucking dapper. Number one, if he came to the comedy store last night to support, whatever, man. Thank you. I owe you my fucking life. Whether we get it or not, we got the opportunity to showcase. That's all that matters.

And I was prepared. You can't take shit like that on the chin or if not they'll eat you alive. I know this now at 55. It's a tough pill to swallow when you're 35. I'm telling you, sometimes you know it's better than a yes. So whatever happens, I did my job. I worked hard. I worked out.

I brought it. And now it's up to Netflix to make the decision. Whatever way, I'm not a sore loser. I'll figure out a fucking special, even if I do it, my man, Joe Rogan. That's it. That's the key to life. That is absolutely the key to life. man you're just responsible for the process you're just responsible for fucking sending it i just want you to be

prepared like if i don't that's the most important thing that i didn't know at 25 and 27 and 28 and 32 preparation is the key if you're prepared you go into battle you know every time you go on stage anytime you play tennis anytime in your head it has to be a battle so when you go into battle as long as you're prepared and you know in your heart that you prepared i mean monday night i went to a five-a-open mic the fourth wall there's no ego here involved this is about being the best that you could be you know when i first moved to you didn't like me they just people didn't like me it's the way it was so my goal wasn't to become a producer or a director or a fucking magician comic my goal is to become the funniest person i could become because they can't take that from you yeah

you know my mother used to always say i don't care if you're a janitor as long as you're the best janitor on the floor you know what i'm saying if you're the best janitor they can't can't take that away from you. It takes the pressure off when you put in all the work. And all you're responsible for is just showing up and doing your best. And then let it be, man. You know, like, don't judge yourself based on the outcome. Just know that you gave it.

And that's it. That's it. I never used to do that. I would go to those showcases, never prepare six minutes. I never forget Joe, when he was really hot from Fear Factor, they gave him a slot on Friday nights. There was a show on NBC called Fridays. It was on after the news, after it was like,

like the original. What's the kid now that's big? Then he has the later show on NBC and they do banks. James Gordon? He was kind of like James Gordon. There's one even after James Corby. That guy. George. Carlson Daley. Yeah. It was Joe hosted that Friday. And it was

going to be Joe's comedy buddies to do it. And I'll never forget that. Sussman and the guy from NBC were there. And it was like stealing. It was my job to lose it. Well, I lost it. And the next day, Joe was fucking bad. Like he wasn't there But he said you we went against what you did you went up there and played dice instead of fucking

Doing you now I can't give me I mean Joe was really upset because he really wanted me to get this Yeah, he loves you but I didn't prepare you know and and those are lessons that you learn Like you never take even a six-minute showcase for granted now like I never when I go to the fourth wall even It's a bunch of open mic young kids with the same dream I had I go to destroy that fucking place, you know, whatever I got, because now you learn, you know, that's how you get ready for whatever the fuck is going on. And you have to learn that way, you know, like, you have to fuck it up a few times. Like, whatever you did wrong, know that you needed to do that wrong in order to get better the next time, you know? Like, you had to fuck that one up so that you could be as great as you are now. Like, it's all part of the process. It's so funny. Like, I knew that I had to do a set before the comedy store last night. and I went to the improv and you just ate a bag of dicks.

Because I fucking knew I was going to eat a bag of dicks. I just knew it. I knew that if I went in there loose. I'm the type of guy I would never be a good UFC fighter because you knocked me out in the first round. It's over. I'm just getting started. Once you knock me out, once I smell the smelling souls, what happened?

He knocked out. He's like, give me five minutes. Give me one more shot at this. And now you have, I'm one of those guys. I got a second win. You know what I'm saying? I'd be 0 and 11. But I'd fuck, I'd be eight and zero in the locker room against the guy afterward.

Like I'd fuck them up and I'd get suspension or something like that. You know, like I'd knock them out with a karate kick. I understand that when I used to play basketball, I would be, for the big games, I'd be so nervous that I'd intentionally make like hard contact with someone on a screen or something on defense. Sometimes get a foul called because I just needed to feel something hard, like go straight as hard as I could to the hole. And to feel that contact and then like feel something and then I could lose something. and then I could loosen up. Like I had to get hit or hit somebody, and then I was like, all right, now we're playing.

Now we're playing. Then you have to, like, fall down a baseball. Yeah, exactly. Something like that. Where'd you get a basketball scholarship today? I forget. I didn't get a scholarship, but I went to University of Richmond,

and I had some, you know, state honors for high school basketball. I played with a nationally ranked team. You know, I could play, but I knew that I wasn't going to the NBA, so I kind of veered away. No, I just played with, no, I played with the team for a bit,

but never made the floor. See, that's what gave me, the blueprint for comedy was basketball. Like, I loved basketball when I was a kid, but I was fucking horrible. And the year I made the team, we went 0 and 9 to even make me feel worse. And that summer, I swore that was never going to happen again.

That was not going to happen in the eighth grade. And I went to, like, fucking, I went to sacred, you know, Bob Hurley's camp from St. Anthony's. I went to there. In the eighth grade, I actually got picked to go to five-star basketball camp. He got me up with Weinstein. So I was pretty good, my fucking. It's not Weinstein.

It's a different. He just died. Finkelstein, he was like the Jewish guy that you called whenever you needed a college basketball player. He picked you in those days. So he ran a camp in the summer. It was called Five-Star Basketball Camp, which, like the summer I was there, Dominique Wilkins was a counselor. Like, you didn't know, but you knew.

They were in college. Like my particular counselor in my room was Kenny DeNard. Kenny DeNard actually started on that fucking Duke team. I was in the eighth grade and I still remember one outstanding thing about Kenny DeNard. It was hot as shit. It was Pittsburgh. It's hot. It's humid.

June. And he would always have a hooded sweatshirt. And one day I'd go, why do you fucking wear a hooded sweatshirt? He turned around and bent over. And in his help, in his hood, he got a baby skunk. Your fucking shit. No, that's the first time I ever, and he let me pet it, and then he brought it in the room. And I remember that that song by Rick James was the hottest song.

Like, when I came from Cuba, when I came from Cuba, I don't think white kids understood me. So my only friends were black, and my best, best friend in the world was black. Last week, somebody had a Nyack, New York, a black guy came up to me, shook my hand, pulled me down, and he goes, what these white motherfuckers don't know is you just an old school nigger. he walked away and I go what the fuck did that guy just say to me and I went back to the whole time and he was right because that was my first exposure like I learned from these brothers and then but then I lost contact brothers and then I started playing basketball again and that was the summer that Rick James came out with his first fucking hit and it was called you and I and you know

you have like rest periods where you you woke up at seven you didn't eat breakfast to And you did sprints and drills. Suicides. No, they had a specific, no, I was Joe Nam at football camp. That had suicides, and then you went to breakfast, and then you broke down the move of the day, rebound, and then in the afternoon you just played ball and shit like that. But whenever that song by Rig James went on,

Black people lost their fucking mind. And they were playing black music on the radio. Yeah. It's called You and I. Have you ever heard you and I? I've heard it, but, yeah. Like the beginning of it, right? Black people can be guarding each other.

Like that summer was like Dominique Wilkins. It was all these blacks. It's awesome when you have those songs that go with your ball plan. When you came out to Time for Some Action by Red Man every time, I still hear that song. I get hype. I get butterflies. I'm like, oh, let's go. Let's go.

Time for some action. And I would try and dunk, but I couldn't dunk. And if I actually did, because I was always right on the cusp because I couldn't really palm the ball that well, if I did dunk, I for sure airballed my first shot because I was so fired up that I dunked in warm-ups. I had kicks. Yeah, I had kicks, so I could grab the rim. Downtown North Bergen, I missed a dunk one time.

I got really light like 168 and I could get up there. When I went to Sacred Heart, whatever, St. Anthony's basketball camp, which was called Superstar Basketball Camp, I went outstanding rebounder that week. So that's why he was recruiting me to try to go to St. He was recruiting me, a kid Widea O'Don, Chuck McBreen, who showed up in my show at Nyack. He's the coach of Ramapo Division III. They just went to the final four in Division III.

He stuck with it. He's a fucking coach. I got a couple buddies. One guy, Greg Herenda, coaches. I went to five star with him. We went on the bus together. He was from St. Peter's Prep. But I used a blueprint from my basketball days for comedy, which was, you know, you play every day.

Like, you just play all day. I would get up and shoot 300 shots like Jerry West first. I would find like somewhere that nobody would go. I wouldn't leave. I wouldn't put down a basketball until I made three three pointers in a row. And that was my rule from when I was like 11 years old to when I was 18 years old. Like if I touched it, I had to make three in a row before. See, when I was growing up, there was no three points.

And sometimes I would take me three minutes. You know, I'd just knock them out. Sometimes if I was off, I'd be out there 15 minutes, 20 minutes, frustrated as shit, hit two, missed the third. Damn it, I just want to go. But I had that ritual, and I ended up being one of the best three-point shooters in Texas from that same ritual. So anything you take deep, you learn those lessons from it. It doesn't matter what it is, whether basketball or ping pong or violin or whatever. Take it deep.

Don't just dabble. Take something deep. If you're a dad and you have kids or mom, have your kids take anything deep because the lessons come when you really push to that, you know, upper limit of what's possible. That's crazy. I went deep with basketball. And I got to tell you something, my freshman year, like, it was a no-brainer. If you looked at all eight schools,

I was going to be one of the starting forwards on the freshman. It was a no-brainer. St. Anthony's one of me. I would have to start North Burger. Talk, this guy just didn't like me. My freshman year, and I was 13. And it was the hardest fucking lesson that I ever had. Like, when you're touted to do that,

and you know what, he had his reasons. I was an offensive machine and I could rebound, but my defense was a little weird because I was always going for the steel. I knew how to hold your shirt. I knew how to hold your shorts. My seventh grade teacher was, he's still in the Hall of Fame for free throws in college. John Barone still made, and if you ever play ball with him, he was very handy with you. He was like Earl Monroe and Walt Frazier.

You know, if you ever watched them to play, they're going to take that ball. You didn't dribble around them because they knew how to flip you. And not a lot of people could do that. Paul Westfall and Don Bussey had that combination whereas guards, they know how to turn you and take the ball from you. Wolf Frazier would pick your fucking pocket.

And there's pictures. You can still find pictures of Wolf Frazier picking your pocket and Earl Monroe holding your t-shirt like this. But you wouldn't grab it like this. You put a finger in it and hold down. I mean, so you could move. They lock you down.

You know, I was taught to do a screen like this. Cover your balls. Cover your chest and fucking take them out. Like, that's how I was taught in North Bergen to do a screen. The great Julius Irving. The great Julius Irving taught me a move. The great Julius Irving was basically a cheater. And I'll tell him this to his face.

I love him. He's my idol. He's my idol. But Julius Irving had a move that he cheated. And the NBA let him get away with it. If you watch him, he used to hook you. Julius Irving, when he got the ball, he'd get and he dribble, and he would hook your waist. That's his illegal as shit.

Watch, Will Shep. Now, do you remember a guy named Lloyd Free? No. There was a player for the Philadelphia 76s that was the best six man in the league. When Julius Irving first, when the ABA defunct, Julius Irving went to Philadelphia, and they had a strong team. Him, George McGuinness, Kobe Bryant's dad.

They had a white guard named Doug Collins, who was sensational. He was the starting guy. And the point guard was Henry Bibby. See if you could find that... What was it that Tito said if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying? See if you can find the video live free.

I read an interesting article about him about two weeks ago on Twitter. Somebody found an article. or newspaper. How many points would he really have scored if there was a three-point line? If there was a three-point line.

Yeah. His head got big at the end and he changed his name to World Be Free. His name was Lloyd Free. See if you could find Lloyd-free highlights. This guy, bro, when I watched him play, I would lose my fucking mind because there was two players in the league

that had this gift at the time. It was Lloyd-free and a little guy in Seattle name. downtown Freddie Brown. All right. So basically, yeah, go ahead. Put the first one first.

Look, he had 35 points against the Celtics world. Be free. But see if they show his highlights. His shooting highlights, this guy was a fucking machine. The sixes for years had machines. They had that other fucking lunatic also.

Let's see if they, this is it. Look at this fucking savage. And he had beautiful form. Yeah. I mean. Right. high very high yeah everything he did was high but then i showed him his fucking 44 point is these motherfuckers yeah yeah that boy can watch him watch him to see he could pop he was popping on

motherfuckers that was bob whatever from the look at the little bang yeah this guy look at a little oh shit when he was a sixer against the lakers another killer from manila look at him look at there you go fucking Cedric, this Julia, oh shit, oh shit. I love all this shit. That's awesome. Look at them. Huh.

Huh. Huh. What? Look at them kicking. Motherfuckus. Did you see? That's what they were cheating. I told you.

You watch now? You still follow? No. Because this will never happen again. I don't know, man. The Warriors calves is people just to watch. I love the Warriors, but I can't.

I'm not sure about it. Look at him. Look at him. Oh, nothing but river. Oh, Jesus Christ. On two people. Look, him. He just walked back and like, look. But he was the best six man in the league.

He was, like, I had Steve Mix at the time. Jesus Christ. He was the best six man in. He came in whenever you were down, ten, and he'd go back when you were up six. That's what his gift was. Look at Julius behind him trailing. Oh, shit. He was only a six-one, Doug.

Yeah, smooth, like butter. Smooth. Like whipped butter. But there was a dude that played for Seattle, Super Sonics, when I was a kid. His name was... Sean Kemp. No, this was before Sean Kemp. His name was downtown Freddie Brown.

And his brother, they called... He was... They were both from Brooklyn or something. And his brother, they called him the Wizard. He was another point guard. He played somewhere else. But Freddie Brown, I don't know if he had, like, an alcohol problem. He'd be sitting on the bench, like, you just called him in when you needed 20 points.

Right? Like, he was a chubby guy. He was built like me, like 6'1 and shit. And he'd be sitting at the end of the bench with a brown bag, drinking beer and shit. And there would go. You know, like, go ahead, Freddie. And he would like, bro, he'd tell the coach, coach, I ain't playing no defense. Like, you can see him.

You can see the footage even today. Like, when they put him in, he'd always whisper something to the coach, coach, what do we need? Eight points, watch my shit. And he'd just go. them pop 40s on your ass. Bam! Bam! Bring your back and then call it time my coach.

Get the assistant under the cocktail and they will put them back at the end of the bench. Back in the day watching people smoke cigars on the bench, the old Celtics coach. I mean, it's just different eras of a sport, right? Can you imagine that when people are allowed to smoke? Yeah, so crazy. Lighten up that victory cigar on the bench inside, smoking a cigar where your team's up like five. Used to smoke it when the game was still within reach just to intimidate them. Just to be like, it's fucking games in the bag.

I'm lighting my cigar bitches. It's over. It's fucking over. Crazy, man. How's the honored world to treat you? It's so good. It's always moving. And I get to meet so many cool motherfuckers.

Like, they come through and you get to tap into their head, see what makes them great. You know, like this offseason retraining with Jake Arieta, who's across from Lance Armstrong, who's across from Earl Tom. And it's just like, damn, these are like legends. And you get to hang with them and learn from them and see what they're up to. How long has an academy been open for? It's been open, like, almost five years. And it's open to anybody. Yeah, we have like 500 regular members and then all the athletes and pros that come through.

And they have everything in their, Jiu-Jitsu. I know the guy from our brain. Yeah, Bang Muay, yeah, Bang Muay, 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu, yep, yep, got the whole thing. It's a full, you know, it's like a full epicenter of. all things, human optimization. It's fucking rad. It's paradise for me. I built like the playground that I would dream about when I was a kid where I could go do Muay Thai and jujitsu and lift weights and train kettlebells and hit a sauna, hit a cryo. And it's like, and have a great cafe making me keto shakes. And it's in my office. That's where I spend 10 hours a day. I'm spending 10 hours a day

in paradise. Who's the guy I see on Instagram who works there who's like doing Turkish getups with I think with humans? Yeah. It's like it's crazy. Primal swole. Soldier, shout out to At Primus Wolder. He's a fucking savage. He does what? He can take a girl from lying down. They'll be curled up in a circle, and he'll be holding them up in the air, straight arm, and then he'll go from... A girl?

A girl? Full, full girl. A hundred and twenty-five, hundred-thirty-pound girl. That's sexual harassment. And then he'll go from, from his back to a standing position, holding her up in the air, and then back down again. He makes your little maro look like he's not that buff. I don't know about that. The oil is a lot bigger than him, but he's just trained consistently every single day putting in the work.

It's, you know, I used to know him when he was young. We would spar in my old garage with Roger Werta, and we'd go out and he was 17 and he was just a kid. And he's just watched him take, like what you said, take something so seriously, just do it every single day until he got better and fucking better and fucking better. And now he's killing it, man. He's like one of our like local homegrown superstars. It's beautiful to watch. that it's beautiful to watch somebody like just take something that they and just take it to the end take it all the way to the end and now he's doing turkish get-ups with fucking human humans yeah

you know alberto really inspired me to use the club bells that's why i got the club bells and i really like them and i can't believe i only do like five or six exercises with them yeah and i do them i mix them up in like a circuit training if i can't make a jihitsu or a muay i got a bag of back there and I got the different size bats and I mix it up with a little kettlebell workout and I just do like 30 seconds on each you know but when I first went

to Arbardo's I couldn't get up on my wrist from hitting the bag all those years with no wraps on like a fucking gorilla my wrist got fucked up over the years and brick mason like when I would pick up the bricks I could feel my wrist and he introduced me to the club

you know the club bells I know Gazzini whatever and Gellini his buddy is really big into it and then I told him about my shoulders the problems I have my shoulders dog I can't believe what I do with the club bells now compared when I first started the club bells I could barely do five pounds yeah and you just work you just open up open up the joints you know we heal through movement that's what people think like oh I'm hurt you know a lot of times the movement is actually what's going to tell the body how to heal to open things up to get the

muscle systems working to get the joints fluid like movement is healing. It's crazy how over the years people have been, you know, workouts have changed. We have evolved so much. You know, when I was a kid and I wanted to work out, I bought muscle and fitness and Joe Wheat was everything. Yeah. And the Barbarian brothers were eating 36 eggs a day. And I, I, it was all about size then. This is all about size then. It was, I would stress for 30 grams of protein per meal, five meals a day. I was making these shakes at night, you know, milk, ice cream, wheat germ. To beat the man, you got to out-eat-the-man.

In those days, there was just no flavor. It was egg and milk protein. That's it. There was no chocolate. There was no vanilla. It was egg and milk protein, you know? Yeah. It was five sets of six per body part.

Nobody ever talked to- Five sets for six. That sounds like cardio, Joey. You want five sets of three. No, we were doing five sets of six. five sets of sits behind the backs of 180 you know there was no there was we had no dumbbells everything was straight bell workouts you know which makes you a fucking gorilla my friend built the lap machine but before that it was all bent over rows bitch with 180 you know for fives and that was it

and that was it then later on we incorporated one-arm fucking pulls but that was it you know and your goal was to eat tuna. Like, that's all we ate. Tuna with fucking salt. Chicken breast. No chicken breast. No chicken breast. Wasn't even popular then.

It was fucking tuna out of a can, bitch. No mayo. Eat the fucking tuna. Shut your fucking mouth. And then when I got locked up, I got into it. And when you get locked up, when you see those guys yoke,

it's because you eat sardines in prison like a motherfucker. You know, those are good for you. I ate fucking so many sardines. When I left prison, I was in tip-top shape. I could fuck a motherfucker up. I was about 195.

The prison diet. The prison diet, you have to run, and you have to lift. And you're so bored, you will lift six days a week. There's no recuperation. You need to recuperate. Go to prison. See if there's recuperation. That's all bullshit.

When you, they do put, those motherfuckers work out every day. Yeah. There's no recoup. The muscles need joints in love. What protein? Do you have a blender in jail? There's no blender in jail? Those motherfuckers yokees yoke it up.

The yoke dudes that you see? they figure out old school ways how to get fucking yoke yeah when I was in jail I was the kitchen I was in charge of the kitchen supplies so the stock was off the premises disconnected from the jail so I knew a couple brothers in there that were doing steroids

they were doing D-Ball Winstraw and Navarre and they would give me the good Why are you going to do steroids if you can't get pussy? I don't get it because they want to just be yoked in prison so you don't become the pussy that's right I mean these guys these guys got into prison looking like me and left you know that was what their devotion was in prison they went in there like i said to you there was no internet you whatever joe we had told you you did

and then you know there was tom plats and mike menster and those type of bodybuilders and every month they would give you their workouts i remember reading arnold's encyclopedia bodybuilding yes yes going through looking going to the intermediate sets and doing all those intermediate sets yeah it was all different yeah bench making with five sets of pull-ups and yeah I remember super sets, super sets, everything. So straight bar curl with alternating. Exhausting. Alternating curls and then diamond push-ups to really get your arms going.

I mean, that's, and now you have this complete different world. You have this world of MMA that's opened up, you know. Like I said to you, I remember meeting Sergio Oliva and asking him how he got big. And he told me in Spanish, it'd be tecom and quixone. that means steak like a motherfucker. He goes how you got this big? He's like, Bih te'enkoen kohen.

B'i thoii hoihole. White beans and rice and a steak, three times a day, your muscles will get huge. Look where nutrition has gone over the years. Everything is leveled up. You know, it's the combination

of the practice, because it's had to, because the competition is so fucking savage now. You know, you watch some of these top athletes and what they do, it's so precise. You know, everything they're training, the muscle systems that they're activating, the recovery protocols, the supplements they're dialing in.

You know, we just partner with one of the top sports nutrition companies in the world, this company called Exos, and they send like a third of the people who go to the NFL Combine, go through them. They're training most of the top athletes in the world, and everything is just measured out. They get their own custom shakes, their own supplement protocol. We're providing the supplements now. And every workout is dialed in. Every workout has metrics. They have 3D scanning to check your movement patterns.

I mean, it gets really, really tight at the top. And then there's also the other side, which is just going back to the super basics. So you get the really high tech, and then you go way back to the basics. I mean, kettlebells, those are measurements of dry goods in Russia. And the strong men in Russia were like having contests, pissing contests, figuring out who could lift the heaviest ones. And that's how kettlebells develop. The clubs come back from ancient Persia.

The steel maces come back from ancient Persia, the Pelwani wrestlers, the warrior elite training with gadas and and practicing the swings that would knock somebody's head off in battle you know these old practices are now mixing with the new science and the crop of athletes that are coming out of it's just a fucking phenomenal what do you guys think speaking of that like what do you think when you look at these current NBA players even if you don't know who they are when you just look at their bodies and like what they're able to do and they can play to they're close to 40 now it's a different it's when I was growing up your prime was dirty You know, a guy like Dave Winfield, 36.

They didn't really have, they didn't know how to really handle an athlete after 36. And I use baseball as an adage. Let's just use baseball because that's the conversation I remember the most was having, was about Dave Winfield. You were in your prime between 28 and 32, 32 being the highest of that window, and then you go on a decline. But at the time you were 36, they were talking about. about retirement. 40 was a huge thing. Yeah. And then who's the guy that used to fight Chuck

Ludal, the guy in Vegas? Remember he? Tito? No, no, no. The white dude. That they knocked the... Oh, yeah. A Jeremy Horn? Couture. Yeah. Couture changed the game a little bit. You know, Hopkins. Bernard Hopkins changed the game a little bit, you know, boxing at 40, yeah. Showing you that there is life after 40 and then working out, you know, and you're going to see it now. in 10 years men are going to be fighting that 44 and 45 the thing that's limited people now is the head you know well you got the head well listen after fucking 45 you think you're doing things but you're not doing them okay really it's a jump shot whether it's uh in your mind you you still have that first when's you when's you're slinging dick prime joey when is a man hit his dick slinging prime

I don't know I've slown dick for all those years of the drugs and shit I still haven't hit it I'm still reaching my pride It's so funny I made the biggest Best thing I did five years ago Was to walk into a jiu-jitsu studio

It really showed me how bad of a shape I had become Even though I was lifting And doing all this shit It really showed me what I had become Where my body was The first time I did a hip escape I thought I was seen stars

And I left there and I said, I'm not going to go. I would go back. And I go, what good is that going to do for me if I don't go back? And I went back and it was down to once a week. Like I would go to Jitsu on Mondays and I would be sore all week. Even though I was going to the Y and swimming and hitting the bag, Jiu-Jitsu had done something to my body that hadn't been done in the years. It woke some shit up.

It woke some shit up. And I became in love with it. But my movement and my weight was so bad that I really wasn't moving. forward. I was stuck. When I went to Alberto's, I started progressing because I started losing a little weight, but I was still 50. And in your mind,

when you're 50, you're 40, you start looking at the younger guys, and you're going, why are I doing that? And sometimes you do it. There is a great guy like Aubrey that'll go, Joey, come row with me, come on. Let's do another round. Come on, come on. Let's just do techniques. I'll submit you, you sweep me.

And I would start doing that. And then I get to the car, and I couldn't get out of the Oh, you had it right to the chiropractor, you know, fucking rub CBD all on me. It was horrible. You know, then I had a flight or something. And then I read this article about training on over 50. And it really broke it down. And now, do you know I'm training five days a week?

That's awesome, man. It's four days a week. It's fucking awesome. Because it's not what you're doing. It's how you're doing it for what length you're doing it. Recovery is big. You know, I go to cryotherapy. I just started that a few weeks ago.

the CBD oils, the protein shakes. I went back to Weight Watchers. You know, I'm 50 fucking five. I got a five-year-old. Ralphie Mae died, eating fucking jalapeno poppas, you know. My diet wasn't really bad at the time. It just needed to be cleaned up. You know, butter on toast, shit like that.

That's it. I'm never going to eat broccoli. I'm never going to eat Cornell. I'm never going to eat that shit. Just hummus all the time. Not even hummus. I don't want it in my house. I don't want it.

Like I said, one minute you're eating hummus. Next thing you're sucking ice his dick. I don't want to open up that window. You know what I'm saying? That was how they got in here. Don't even bring Peter bread in your house. Peter bread's just hungry for hummus. No, I don't even eat hot.

I don't like Peter bread. None of that shit. I don't like Baba Ganoosh. I don't like none of that shit. No offense. White bread or wheat bread. Yeah, but that's how they get. Listen, this country was a nice country.

And that's how the fucking ethnics came in and got you with their food. It's delicious. Cubans. Everybody had these pit bulls. So those spick bastardsers living on my block. My mom started cooking black beans and rice and fried bananas. It's on a rope of you. White people like, man, I hate them spicks, but I love that food.

Fucking Jerry Rocha out of Texas, a dear friend of mine. He used to have a joke about, you know, living in Texas and, you know, how racist the white people were. And, you know, like, listen, like, he said he had a white brother-in-law that would come over every Christmas, and he just sit there and stare at the Mexicans. Look at them. Fucking up the lyrics, the jingle bell. as he's eating the cassidia.

As he's eating the cassadier. They're going, man, but they sure could cook. Yeah, like a weird joke like that. It's great to see you, man. It's good to see you,

what you're doing. It's, like I said, I didn't know about the academy and I read about it and Joe filled me in on what was going on. And then when I was in

the kickboxing coach was a great guy. One day he came to me and he goes, I'm going on. I'm moving to Austin and stuff. I see pictures of him on the website.

Oh, Alex Anushian? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, he was, he's a good guy. I didn't remember that he was at Alberta. He's great. Yeah, he was in Alberta. He's great.

Such a sweetie, too, and so good. You know, so good, so humble. Just a great coach. Yeah. And you got a lot of fighters on your roster. You got a lot of everything. I got a lot of fighters. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, Cody Garbrandt, Tywin Woodley, you know, a lot of really Donald Seroni, a lot of really top fighters who we've been blessed to work with and learn from and teach some things. And it's been cool. Do you stop by this gym ever in Hollywood Above the Green tortilla, the blue Pink Taco? Pink Taco.

Do you ever go up to that? It's like, who was the guy that was with the UFC for years? Now I haven't seen him. He's always on... He's on football. What's his name? Jay Glazer.

Have you ever stopped at his gym? No, but I've seen it. It looks dope. It looks dope. You should stop in there. It's a pretty neat place. I think most of the guys... I guarantee that most of the guys...

Because they're high-level gyms. There's celebrity gyms. They're gyms where people don't want to be bogged. You go in there, you see the chick that Luke used to date, I think, works out there. What's the name, the singer, the Blue Belt Jiu-Belt Jiu-Jitsu girl? I think that's where she gone. Oh, Debbie Lovato? Yeah, they were teaching some jujitsu there for a while.

But it's mostly like football players. Like, I saw the guy from the giant. Yeah, they got the whole thing. They got the whole thing. Yeah, it looks a lot like our gym. It really is crazy. I mean, the numbers to belong there, like, for a guy like, I was like it doesn't pay, you know, I don't, I'm not going to do.

Yeah, you just need to move. Yeah, that's it. That's what most people need to do. Like, exercise is a fucking miracle drug. All we got to do is take the minimum effective dose. You know, like everybody's looking for some prescription, some magic thing. Exercise will cure, or at least treat like pain, depression, anxiety, sleep, sexual dysfunction. It'll help you lose body weight.

It'll help you live longer. It's a fucking miracle drug. Just move. It doesn't matter how you do it. Don't do it for results. don't compare yourself to somebody else. Just take the drug that we all have available that's free as fuck. You know, move your body.

That's it. That's all you got to do. You know, and that's one of the things that I try and talk about in my book that's coming out is like, you don't have to go to a fancy gym. You don't have to be a member on it, but you got to move. You got to move. That's what the human being needs to do.

That's what we're designed to do. And if you start doing that, then this miracle that we're in will start working for you instead of working against you. And you won't have this antagonistic relationship with the body that you're in you'll start working together you'll be on the same fucking team and then everything will start sorting itself out like use the free doctors fucking sunlight sleep sex exercise the cold use all that shit you don't need to buy all the supplements you don't need to go

to the gym use the stuff that you have available you'll be fucking 90% there it's it's crazy how my comedy my life changed since i joined jiu jitsu and now i'm not in jiu jiu jitsu for full-time how I was. I chopped it up with Muay Thai because the conditioning is so much more high level and they have a 9 a.m. class that's just Muay Thai conditioning that you walk out of there and everything's what your underwear, your socks, your fucking everything. Your rash guard, the t-shirt above the rash guard. I went to get coffee with my wife on there after I dropped the baby off and I just happened to see these guys across the street. It's my buddy's jihitsu school. I wasn't going there. I was going to Alberta Crane.

But I watched these guys, and I went to home and I looked on the schedule and they had movie tie class. And I read up about the guy and a friend of mine that I bumped into like a week later was going there. He goes, bro, the 9 o'clock call this is the shit. It circuits and then pads. Yeah. You know what that's like when you walk out of that 10 o'clock? I walked out of doing that today. God.

It's the best. It's the fucking best. Now, here's the problem I have a lot of times. Like the reason why I was getting the kettlebells from me and all that stuff is because, This is one thing that I don't know if you know about when you live in California and you go for a blood test Do you know that I read this statistic and I forgot what the number is if somebody wants to throw it at me? But it is ridiculous how many people who live in California a vitamin D Like 50% of people? No, it was even higher. Yeah like 60% like a and I remember going in one time twice in a row for a physical and the doctor going dog

your vitamin D deficient and you got to drink more water. Yep. You know, now I have water next to me in my sleep. I wake up every time I go to pee, I drink a fucking two swigs. Mm-hmm.

And it's so weird that I got to tell you something. And I think this is the key. Sometimes I really want to go to kickboxing and I really want to go to Jiu-Jitsu. But that sun is so fucking beautiful. The sun is medicine, man. And people, you know, we've been giving such bad advice. Bad advice.

Stay away from the sun. It's going to fucking heal you more likely. It's going to convert into vitamin D, which you desperately need. Desperately fucking need. It's part of like 200, 300 chemical reactions in the body from your immune system to your mood to your bone health. Like you need it. And if you don't get it, that's one of the things that you should supplement. But go for the sun first.

Guess what? The sun's free as fuck. Take some time. That's why you feel so good at the beach. You know, you're swimming. You got your feet in the sand. You're getting some sun. You know, there's a reason.

we feel good in that. We're scared. They have scared, you know, they scared people to the level where, so there's days, bro, I just go outside and my wife put like a little canopy up. And I go and I do, I swing the kettlebells in the sun. Love it. And then I go back under the canopy and I switch exercises. Like, I'll do a stretch and go back and I hit the bag out in the sun.

Sometimes it's too fucking. It's beautiful, man. It's nice to be inside, fucking work. And when I'm out here in Venice, you know, sometimes I'll go out to box and burn and I'll train. But most of the time I'm just running outside or I'll go to the beach and play around in the monkey bars. Are you running? I'm not like a distance runner,

but I'll go for like a jog and I'll sprint a few places and I'll jump up on a fucking park bench for a little while. And I just mix it up, you know, because I don't like getting stuck to the same routine, that same point pattern where you're doing it. I just move, you know. I don't need to achieve some great athletic feat now, but I want to be able to play anything. If a fucking beach volleyball game breaks out,

I want to be able to play that. You know, if there's someone's playing, a game of softball, like, and I hit one infield home run chance. I want to be able to round the bases and make it home, you know, and I want to be able to play all the ways that I can play. How old are you now? 37. What do you feel like?

I feel like I'm finally figuring a few things out. How's your body feel? My body feels pretty good. Did you have any basketball injuries? No, not really. Not really. Like, everything's pretty good. I got some feet issues, actually.

I think from the basketball shoes, because one of the problems with shoes is they, we we've made them too narrow for too fucking long and it compresses all the bones in your feet and then over time like now i have problems with my big toe i got problems with my feet and that's from the fucking shoes so now i get much wider shoes because they make wide toe shoes now and i get wider shoes which could give you some blisters if you're really going hard like if i was playing but over overall it's way better for your body and that's really the only thing that's taken the biggest toll on me i have a few back things and stuff most of that's from you know, the jiu-jitsu and from some of the martial arts and from not knowing how to lift kettlebells

and trying to show off before actually on a gym came out. I mean, this was 10 years ago and I'm like, let me try to do this snatch and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. So I have some other shit like that, but my body feels pretty good. But, you know, I have the best in the world next door, you know, at my office. Like I said, 10 hours a day, the best recovery specialist, the best training specialist. So, you know, I got every advantage in the world. It's crazy how I don't touch nothing over 35 anymore. I saw that Steve Maxwell 35 minute and I was like, that's it.

I was trying to throw up the gorilla and the other one and you know what I was doing? I'm not going to be an Olympic lift. What the fuck I'm going? I didn't know what the fuck was going on with my back for a month. I'd always switch mattresses. I was like, it's because I'm lifting the fucking gorilla. I'm 50 years old.

72 pounds. Give yourself a fucking jubrike. And ever since I just been doing 35. Yeah. Just move. That's it. I used to try to do 10 sets of 10. I do three, three, and three. I just included the Turkish get up into that strength and conditioning.

And I do it with 10 pounds on each hands. I'm real far away from fucking Zergolf there. You're right down there. Primal Swelger. Yeah, primal fucking soldier. But it doesn't matter because I'm moving at 55. That's it. And I want to move at 65.

And I want to be lighter. You know, I want to get away from 300 pounds as much as I could. Yeah, I mean, there's people out there who can't move enough to even have sex. Yeah, no, no. You know, like, I was there. I was there. 400 pounds. I just had to eat your pussy and your asshole.

And I'd pump three times and shoot a nut. I couldn't even breathe the fuck. I've been there. I couldn't even breathe to fuck. You're missing out on life. I would get so excited that my fat little heart would beat and I'd come in two minutes. But I'd suck the hell out of your pussy and lick your asshole until it couldn't until fucking the alpha brain came out. You know what I'm saying?

Let me give some shoutouts here real quick. We'll get this party started. My man, Tyler Island, Jefferson Howard. My man Freddy Correa over there and his beautiful wife in Vegas. I haven't forgot you. Justin Stevens, get it together, cocksucker. Diva Dunn, Ali Brady, Jordan Branscombe, Matt and Dubb, and Alexander Gonzalez. Santa Fe, Albuquerque.

They added an extra show at the Santa Ana Casino next week. So Thursday night, they added an extra show. The link is up. I'm still going to Columbus for 4 fucking 20. the ice house is sold out on Saturday night so I don't know what to tell you Leas gonna do a set Irene is gonna do a set

it's gonna be tremendous so let's talk about the Aubrey Marcus fucking biography that's coming less of a biography more of a manual what I wanted I mean I've been learning and I'm constantly learning every day from the best researchers

the best doctors the best athletes my own practices and I wanted to take everything that I've learned in this whole journey throughout my life and put it into what the best fucking day you could live looks like. And that includes using all those free doctors that I talked about,

like the light and the water and the movement and the sex and the sleep, but also what the process is when you wake up from the first thing you do, drinking water with a little Himalayan salt to get your minerals up, to setting your circadian rhythm with the sun, to using the cold, to having that glass of wine after your workout. So you have the least amount of alcohol to give you the most buzz and your liver has to process the least amount, to connect them with your family,

to what you should eat from breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and how to, like, create something that wasn't all focused on being super productive or super jacked or super skinny, but to just live a great fucking life and just focus on one day. Like, how do you live one fucking day that you could live over and over and over again

that'll build to the next day that won't borrow from tomorrow to pay for today, but will make you able, to have the best experience possible on this fucking amazing opportunity we have to be alive. Makes sense, man. You know, when I first met you,

I was fucked up on drugs. And it was such a... I looked back at it and I was like, I was dead. I was just walking around dead, basically. I wasn't exercising. I was putting poison in my body. I remember finding a shirt.

After I moved, I was clean two years. I fucking found the shirt. And you should have seen it was a white shirt. You should have seen what the armpits look like. It was like coffee. Sweating out toxins. Yeah, it was just pure toxins.

I was goofing around with these guys the other day. Did I say on the podcast that down in, if you go to Western and Hollywood Boulevard, it's all Thai neighborhood there. And on the corner, there was a really good restaurant. Next door it was like a Thai post office and they had different Thai services in there. And one of the services they did was they did like foot rubs and shit. And this lady had this. I bet they did. Yeah, no, no, no, no. It was legit. There was no hand job.

And what they did was they put your feet in these rocks that would suck out the toxins in your body. Bro, this lady did not know me. She didn't know me. It's like I didn't tell her anything. And at the way, the end, when she told me to take my feet out, she'd look at the water and she go, you do drugs. Do you see that, that drugs? The one half drug and the other half diabetes. You're going to have diabetes soon. and the other half drug

stuff they would foam up yeah and she goes that's the drug and I couldn't believe it that somebody knew my secret you know what I'm saying like my system was so fucking I took me like five years might have been because you were doing blow in front of her though

I wasn't doing blow in front of her no I didn't do blow in the daytime so I would go in there at that time my addiction had my mind that as long as I ate sushi fucking drank a little water and maybe it got like a massage

or acupuncture, the cocaine wouldn't matter. Like my mind had told myself that. Like, as long as I did one of those things the next day, exercise was not on the agenda. Exercise was not on the horizon. I lived across the street from the YMCA, and I used to treat it like it was a fucking prison. Like, I wouldn't even look over there.

Like, I wouldn't even, like, it was like a communist country. Don't even fucking look over there. It's a bunch of women that got beat up and fucking living there for free, you know, whatever. and then I started going over there and I got addicted. Like I got addicted to the way I was when I was a child with basketball. Yeah. And lifting in today, it's part of who I am, but it's made me a better comic.

Everything is connected. Joining an art made me a better comic and put the cherry on the Sunday that I was looking for because it reminded me that comedy was an art. And I do comedy, how I do jiu-jitsu. I put you in my clothes guard and I make you try to break. and I try to slow you down. I'm an old man. I ain't got time to play open guard

and Barambolo, Jack. I'm going to put these two meat hooks around you and let you figure it out. By the time you figure it out, I try to slip in one collar. And by the time you get the other one, I try to slip the other one. All I got is a closed guard choke.

You know what I'm saying? I've seen you fucking guillotine a thousand people. No, I don't. At the same time when you're on stage, man. It's so funny. When I guillotine people, I feel so bad that I got them in a guillotine because I'm big. That I just hold them like there.

and I go, get out, because I'm not going to fucking do anything. I'm dying of Briophaya. You know, I got like a minute and a half, and then I got whatever we're at, I just hold on to you for a minute. That's why I don't do no ghee, dog. I can't do no ghee. I'm an old fucking man. You know what I'm saying?

I pass your God, I got to stay on your stomach for a couple minutes, just for you to think about your life whether you want to come back to Jitoo. I don't hurt you. I don't do knee on belly on nobody. I'm not a gorilla. Yeah. But I'm old, and you're stronger and younger than me. I got you by 19 years.

If I pass your guard, I'm going to lay on your stomach. You're not going to breathe. You're going to even go, Joey, Joey. I love you. Lay and heavy. I rolled with Kyle Kingsbury, who's our director of human optimization. I'm one of my best friends. Great guy.

Great guy. And I hadn't rolled with a high-level black belt like that, who was big. I mean, Kyle's big. And it was so humbling. It was amazing. I sent a tweet out after that. I was like, I'm going to forfeit my white belt and get a clear belt made of fucking stripper heels because I don't even deserve a white belt.

you know, after I felt what he was able to do with me. I mean, he could finish, there was no safe spot. No safe spot. You know, like half guard, not safe. You pull my head off or like, take my arm off. And I'm like, but I was in half guard. I thought I'm safe and half. No, you're not safe and a half guard.

Have you met his dad? Yes, I have. His dad's a good man, too. I trained to his dad. His dad was doing good to me. Yeah, well, wrestler. They were very good to me. So it's weird.

Like now I'm, I love it. I couldn't imagine my world now without Jiu-Jitsu. I accept it for what it is. I can't go more than three times a week. I've hit five. I hit five jiu-jit-tos, but I have to do it smart. Two of the days, I have to drill. I can't roll more than three times.

I got three, five-minute rounds in me. That's it after that. I shake your hand. If I do four or five, you're not going to see me for four days. You don't need to push it. So many people do that. That's what they do. That's what I was doing.

The first day you go to the beach and you don't wear any sunscreen, you lay out for eight hours and you get roasted and you can't go out in the sun the rest of the vacation. People do the same shit working out. They go see a trainer and hit a CrossFit gym, and they just fry their body. and then they can't get back in for a week, better to go a little slower. A little slower.

Take time, move, you know. And now I'm going five days instead of two. Hell yeah. I was comparing myself to what Aubrey was doing. I came on, Aubrey. Why am I wrestling Roger Werder here to the debt? Why? Why am I swinging kettlebells after fucking jujitoo class?

I should be stretching. Yeah. Why am I swinging kettlebells and then go into a fucking car and you get out of a car and you feel like your back is locked up? So the thing I added now is I stretch. I do two striking and conditionings on my own, but that basically it's a 30-minute stretch. All those Alberto stretches that he taught me.

All those tack-fit stretches. I do all that shit. I get the joints loosen up my wrist, a fucking tip-top. My goo. I do this flow, this tack-fit flow. It's like a hip escape, boom, for one pop up.

I could pop up on one hand now. Yeah, some of it's the weight. But he was right. Those bats broke all that. What's that? What gets stuck around your bones and you have to break it? Yeah, well, it could be scar tissue. Scar tissue and all that shit.

So it's important what I'm doing now in this phase in my life. And I'm happy that you put out a book to give somebody the perfect day. Because some people don't really know. It took me 55 years. And there's so much bad advice out there. And it's just kind of clearing all that up. you know and really getting back to the science there's like 300 clinical references in there and and it's not only that but it's the stuff that actually works you know it's stuff that sometimes the

science will say one thing like take a bunch of baking soda and your aerobic performance will get better but you take the baking soda then you just shit your pants and you're like this doesn't make any sense you can't do that so it's just that blend of all of the people who have performed at the high level what they're doing mix with what the best science says and then just mix with experience like how do you enjoy this thing and um yeah it's called the day own your life it's at own the day book.com if anybody's interested how long take you to write it two years and my soul like i mean it's so so challenging to write a book you know i wrote it and then i rewrote it and i rewrote it and every time i'd look back on my old work and be like oh my god i was a child when i wrote this you know just the art of actually producing the writing and and really putting

everything i had in it you know that was you know i gave it all i had i know that there's not one one ounce of more effort that I could have put in this book. So it's the very best I can do. So, well, you know, I hope people love it, but I'm going in there without any nerves or worry about what's going to happen on opening day, you know, when it releases or whatever. Because I know I put my soul in it. And that's the best I can do. When does it get released?

April 17th. Okay. You have like a little partying on it? Yeah. I'm going to have a party on. And I'll have a party out here in L.A. at a wanderless store. And then I'll be at the Strand in New York and signing books and hanging with people and sharing

with people and sharing the love. Good for you, man. Yeah, I'm excited, man. You know, when you first came in, I told you called you last week and you didn't answer after one of the bomb, like the second bombing in Austin. I got a little concern with you. I called my other friend.

I'm Ron White's down there. And it's like, you know, you see a place like Austin that it's not Houston. Yeah. It's not Dallas, which I'm not knocking by any means. I'm just saying like city size, you know, like comparison to you have the Dallas-Ford Worth area.

In my mind, I think it's bigger than Austin. And for something like that to be happening in such a small, white, great little community. One of the bombings was on the street that I take to go to work. So we saw all the media, all the fire trucks and everything else out there. The really tricky thing about that is when someone does that, it incites so much more fear than the actual damage. You know, like one car crash probably has killed more people, you know, than all the people from that bombings.

But when you take something like packages, which we rely on because we're always ordering shit from Amazon and then make you scared of that, then it just spreads fear. And fear is that deepest virus that we have. So it's challenging. You know, it's challenging to do with that. I just heard something about Amazon wanting to have your key so they can go into your house or something. They sell a camera that you can put in your house.

Well, they actually bought Ring. So I think they're going to change it to that. But they have a camera that you'll put in your front door so that you can give them the key. and then the guy can put the box inside your house. No, it's okay. Too far. Yeah, that's not too far.

It's getting a little too crazy. Self-driving car for Uber. I'm not going to get a car. There's not a drive. I'm a fucking car. Okay, I don't want to be in a car. I don't want to see you. No total recall Johnny Cab.

If you know, if you buy one of those cars on my block, I will give you a flat tire. When I live down the block over here, I used to flatten people's tires, take air out of their tires, because the bus is two blocks away over here. So I would lose my parking spot to people. They made me walk around.

If you left your car in front of my house, bro, I learned that from my father when I was growing up. When I was growing up, bro, if you parked in front of that house, he's a Cuban man. And in his world, that's his house. I know that's a public sidewalk, but it don't matter. Don't park in front of that house. And people would park in front of the house, he'd get home at three from the bar, and he'd go out there, or he'd need to take the air out of your tire or slash your tire. So you got the message.

Don't park that. And I had to do the same thing when I lived on this block. Because people were parking fun of it. I'd give them like an hour or two, and I'd scratch their fucking car. I'd just out of fucking principal. You think I'm fucking with you, dog?

There was one guy I would just throw all my garbage in this truck. It was driving him crazy. It was driving him crazy. I was watching from my window. Look at his truck and shake his head and go, fuck. And then he would take the garbage out and put it in the garbage can and shit.

There's people that would fucking park there and take a cab to Burbank Airport and leave the car if your car is in my name after three days, it's going down. It's going down. You know what else? I used to do.

There's these guys that I fucking hate. There's a certain animal that I fucking hate. And that's the guy that buys the BMW 7 series but instead of paying for parking over at the train station, he parks on my block. That's the first car I scratched with the key.

I've scratched more. BMWs on that block. Anything nice that I know you're a piece of shit, like you were gutless, really? So you bought a Mercedes to show your friends how cool you are, but you walk three blocks like a fucking Puerto Rican on the fort to save the $2 in parking? Really?

I'm scratching your car. I caught a guy. Steve justice. I caught a guy brand new one. He had just gotten the car. Oh, no. Come on. I got that motherfucker good.

Don't park in my neighbor no more. And, bro, they disappeared. Or they parked down here. You think I'm kidding you. I send the stern warning in my fucking neighbor. It could let me note or something. No notes, no nothing. Don't park you here.

No park here. Here no paque now. This is my fucking neighbor. You don't need to park here. When I saw a guy, you think I'm kidding you? There was a guy out there that had a brand new, like one of those bubble fucking fucking bullshit, bro. And I just threw a rock at the fucking door.

That thing was dented. When he came, I was out there just doing kettlebells, make him believe. Because I would waste. helping the local body shops Joe you're just fucking helping the economy the Armenians I don't fuck around don't don't don't park on my block dog you know how long do I know you now you know oh man six years no no no it's got to be more than that because you've used you're talking about Caitlin it's got to be like nine nine years 10 years 10 years I saw you when you were a kid and put the whole honor thing together man you fucking did a great thing and I'm happy that you send me stuff

Because I really love the shroom tech And I told you my experience With the alpha brain Which we won't tell the public You have to figure it out For your fucking self and shit Super Alphabet Yeah, like the same way I fucking figured it out

You gotta figure it out And I didn't figure out anything I just made a mistake one day And it worked out in my favor And I came up with like 20 new minutes of material The best mistake happened I was like

What the fuck happened to me last night? Oh, I took a fucking Alphabrein Anyway, when's the book? Come on. April 17th But anybody who's interested in pre-orders, that's super huge, yeah, because that tells the bookstores that the book is interesting,

so it's super helpful for the author. So just go to own the daybook.com or Amazon or wherever. I just checked it's number one on Amazon already. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. But thank you. And fitness, it is. And yeah, and exercise of fitness, it is.

Yeah, it's crazy that I remember talking to you having a conversation with you maybe seven years ago. I knew nothing about you. I thought you was some fucking kid who hit the lottery. and you were just fucking fake in the funk. And I had kind of conversation with you, and I fell in love with you about the basketball.

Once we understand basketball, then we're on the same page. But you schooled me one night on protein. Yeah. You don't remember. I think you had a couple cocktails in. You were talking of. And it was one of those nights when I really listened to you. And you were explaining to me about the chocolate in your,

what was the name of it? Well, it was hemp force. Now you got me all fucked up. Now we call Power Food. Power food. Is it still the same chocolate? Same formula. Exactly.

Same formula. And I'll never forget. Like, there's certain conversations I've had with certain people that made me fall in love with them. Like, I always thought Eddie Bravo was a fucking lunatic. Until he told me a story about his love for kiss. One day I got high, he told me his story about his love for kiss. How when everybody turned on Kiss, he still loved Kiss. And he would have to go buy the album and put it under his shirt and walk home.

and then hide it until his brother came home. And, you know, and these are the conversations that make me fall in love with people. I don't fall in love with people with regular bullshit. I like when I get to, and I fell in love with you because you were explaining to me the research and what you had done to get the flavor. And I'm sitting there going, oh, there's a fucking mouth flavor. And then I tasted it. Now I'm hooked on it, and I've been pissed.

I've been waiting for you to come on the fucking podcasts to tell you that I want my fucking hemp horse guy. We got you, man. We got you. We got some fire stuff. Have you gotten our protein bites yet? Your head's going to fucking explode. What are the protein bites? It's 60 different plants that we wrapped in like a, it's really low sugar, only five grams

of sugar. We wrapped it in dark chocolate. It's coconut cashew protein bites. Oh. It's like, it's like almond joy and your best protein bar had sex. It's fucking incredible. Like we're really and I, you know, I was like really hands on with the, with the hemp forest active chocolate.

Right. No, no. that's what. Like I made it in my kitchen and I was. running around. I'll never forget that conversation. That made me fall in love with it. And this one now, you know, now we're big enough where the best formulators, the best food specialist will come up with these amazing combinations of azuki beans and all this crazy stuff that they'll compress. So you get all the micronutrient profile and then we'll come up and we'll brainstorm flavors.

I like, I want something to taste like an almond joy, but has the best macro micronutrient profile you can get. And they're able to deliver it. And so it's like, it's really cool what we, we're able to what we're able to put together now you know I remember watching something and it was about vitamin companies how they had no regulations and people didn't give a fuck and have to shit you're eating in those protein pills like I you know I'm naive to that stuff like I last time I was on Joe's I asked Joe about GNC do they really have can I go into GNC and buy shit that'll stack you up and he's like oh my god they got like three things though you go in there they have

an anabolic like you'll test positive for you shit like that. So that was why the conversation with you that day was so intriguing. Because I really believed that you really, really, really wanted the best chalk. Like, you had a few vodka's in you, but you were so passionate about it that I fell in love with the conversation. Sure. I can tell when somebody's faking the funk, you were like, you don't understand this cocoa or whatever

the fuck cacao or whatever you call it. It's the best. You went somewhere. Peru or something and you got something and you and I left there going that was one of the most I got I just got to see somebody's true colors yeah because I didn't know what the fuck you were most people just say you know what I want to invent the chocolate I wanted to taste like a yuhoo not you yeah you were looking for the best tasting chocolate like I remember we we we discussed guala hara that what's that chocolate company guala like I would up in fucking

San Francisco. Nobody knows what I'm talking. Garadelli. Garadelli. We even like, we're talking about Garadelli, like, about chocolate and the flavors and how. And I'm leaving there, like, having the conversation with you and then leaving there and thinking, I'm one of those guys. I think about it later and going, when he comes up

with this, I'm going to try it because it was like me, he's not a fat guy. He's a thin, healthy guy telling me how flavor is important. That's important to fat people. You know what I'm saying? Like, when I'm, well, Jesus Christ, they over at sushi. Dan

that's this fucking that's called sizzling albacore. It's just thin albacore with onions and peppers and alipanos and you take the wasabi and you mix it with the soy and you put the extra wasabi on that and you put the on and

you see the flavor I'm selling you? That's what you were selling me. That's what you were selling me. And I've been drinking those chocolate shakes and I was hooked on. 10 years since. I went I went on a chocolate shake like I do my own

experiments and I got to the point where I would do two scoops, which is 32 grams of protein, 16 scoops, 16 grams per scoop. I would do two, and I wouldn't have to eat until after Alberto Crane. That was 1 o'clock on two scoops. Yeah. That's how I fell in love with it. I fell in love with the flavor. You know, sometimes I mixed it with water. Sometimes I missed it with milk, depending what I was doing that day. Chocolate's so cool, too. It's got like four psychoactive components like P.E.A. Anandamides, theobromene. It's got all these things that interact with the body in like a really cool, healthy way. It's got magnesium, which is great for your muscles, plus all, you know,

the additional protein and fiber and the amazing flavor. I mean, there's so many great things out there, you know, when you're not having the Nestle bullshit version, you're actually going to the source, you know, where the cacao bean is. And actually, when you're in Peru and you actually have the fruit that the cacao nibs and the cacao beans are from, the fruit tastes like papaya, but better in some ways or like a mango it's like crazy to understand the plant and the tree like the fruit like grows off the trunk of the tree you know and like that's chocolate it's not a little it's not a little silver kiss with a little thing coming off the top you know you like see trace it back to what this thing is and then really appreciate it and you know i love i love that stuff and that that gets me fired up and

so i've tried to translate that as much as i could and i like the assna even ola yeah but my favorite is the chocolate can't be the fucking i don't fuck with the chocolate that's why i don't Nothing compared to the chocolate. Listen, man, I want you to thank you for taking the time. I've been trying to get you for a couple of years. I appreciate you so much, though. I appreciate you, too. And, you know, I love your products.

And I'm a user. And I wish I did more videos for you. Nobody's ever around when I'm doing club bells and shit, not my wife. So one of these days, I'll tip down. You know, the honest shirt, you sent me fits now. Hell yeah. Like the 2X didn't fit at first. And I put it in the corner, and I go, I'll be back, bitch.

Hell yeah, and I put it on to take a do a video, and I forgot I was sweaty. So when my wife goes, why did you put the shirt on? Because I go, I want them to know I was doing the clubhouse. She's like, look at it. It looks terrible, and I was... So I bail on the whole fucking thing, but now the 2X finally fit me, so I'm happy. Bro, thank you very much for coming on. Of course, brother.

Let's do the out of that together. Listen, as far as supplements are concerned, you want to do your body right. You heard what the man said. You want to get the most out of your day. For me, man, the new mood has helped. You know, I fly a lot, so I'm a big shroom tech immune guy. You go on a plane, you see a Chinese guy with a mask on. I got fucking, I got shroom.

You kiss them on the mouth. No. Because you got shroom tech immune. Oh, no, no. Fuck it. Listen, between the Shroom Tech immune and me swimming in the Hudson as a kid, I'm bulletproof. I eat ass. All those components.

Microbiomeo. A little eating ass. A couple of shroom tech amunes. and swimming in the Hudson. I'm piptock. Sign me up. I don't even get the flu no more. I'm that fucking strong.

So between the Shroom Tech immune, the Shroom Tech Sport, the what is it, the shape now it's called? Power food. Power food. It's changed my life. Give it a try. Take a chance. Columbus did. What are you going to stick with your same fucking protein and your same stuff?

You got to do variety in your workout. That's what we're talking about. You got to switch it up. Go to honor.com. Look at the great selection of supplements that they have. From the jerky that's good, I got to get more of it, the fucking good, to the, now you get these semi-these fucking chicken nibs. I'm going to have to hire them pretty soon.

Protein bites. The protein bites, you got me all crazy. I love that shit, especially at night. When you're a stoner, I don't mind eating something as long as I know. I got seven grams of protein in it. I'm going to send it to you immediately, and I'm going to call you as soon as you get it. Boom, that's what I'm talking about. Go to honor.com right now and press in.

Church? Boom. And get 10% off delivered right to your money. motherfucking dog. The beginning of the podcast I asked you are you lonely. Are you lonely? Are you sick and tired of being alone in that apartment by yourself petting your cat your dog, whatever? This is what I want to talk to you about. All right? Because Lee has been single for a while. What's your experience with harmony Lee? I just I was really impressed with them with how seriously and how in-depth the questions are so you really get to know if the kind of like the person

that they're matching you with you have a lot of You have similar, it's not just, oh, do you like cats and dogs? They go deeper than that. So it's very nice. Listen, e-harmony takes the steps of other dating sites don't in order to find you more compatible match. It's built to help you find long-lasting, meaningful relationships, not a shallow hookup site, all right?

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I am in love. I'm fucking love. I know. Don't you want to go to the beach and run around and hold hands and eat ice cream? Listen, go to He-Armody right now. Right now. You can have fun. It's fun to play around with online dating apps,

but when you're ready to fall in love with somebody and start a family and have a meaningful relationship, there's only one app built to bring you real love. He Harmony. Come see how Hearmony can change your life right now. Go to hearmony.com and get started. Enter code church at checkout. Stop sitting at home watching TV by yourself. It's time you went out and change your life.

Have sex with life. That's right. And don't forget, pick up my main man's book coming out. April 17. You can order it right now. It's number one on fucking Amazon. I wish you nothing but love. Thank you, brother.

And success. And hopefully next time I'm in Austin, you won't be on one of your fucking Malaysian fucking excursions and shit eating mushrooms and watching boom boom videos I love you man

Thank you very much Don't forget The Saturday sold out at the ice house I think there's a thing But we added an extra show A week from tomorrow At the Santa Ana Casino It's a 10 o'clock show

Hopefully I'll see you And if not I'll see you dirty savages in Columbus 420 Stay black Have a great weekend And we'll see you again Monday morning Happy Easter, all, you cock-suckers.

I love you. Thank you, Lee. Thank you, Aubrey. Love you guys. Peace.