The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #575 - Kevin Brennan

Episode Date: April 11, 2018

Kevin Brennan, Comedian, writer and the host of the "Misery Loves Company" and the "Burning Bridges" podcasts, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Recorded live on 04/10/18.  

Welcome to Podcastville. The church of what's happened now is brought to you by Fuji Sports.com. Go to Fuji for your geese, rash guards, whatever the hell your MMA needs are. The mats. Listen, I'm a fat fuck. And an A6, I'm down on A5. But you could tug on that sapparito fucking ghee all day long and nothing fucking happens. You can just get the plain fucking purple one.

I guarantee you it. It's better than any geese wore before. If you're in the fucking ghee business, go to Fuji Sports.com right now and check in church on your way out and get 10% off. That's how we're rolling here tonight. Lee, kick that fucking mule. It's Wednesday. April 11th, you bad motherfuckers. Get up.

Wash your little monkey hole. It's the real deal. Kevin Brennan's here. The Christ killer's here. Lee Syed. Oh shit. Little Sylvester. little transgender music

from the 70s here. Oh shit. I'm telling you. Sylvester was a black transvesta, a transgender dude. He wore like a wig, but he had a big black thing. And he made this type of music, and he drove fucking gay people crazy

in the 80s. I even went to see him in 85 in San Francisco. August. Brilliant. Brilliant. Oh, shit. He wants to know right now. You understand? I want to know why you went to his concert. I had a girlfriend.

Tickets were on sale. We went down to the night of. He sang three songs that lasted two hours. I never saw that life in my life. He only had three songs. This is one of them. There's like 45 minutes live in concert. He takes off his outfits.

There we go, cock suckers. Do you want to funk with me? Oh shit. That's a little startup music on a Wednesday. You might be feeling a little kum-see-cum-sa. my man Kevin Brennan's here in the fucking house representing look at you looking good to me I'm ashamed of myself why what's the problem I don't party who gives a fuck some people don't do now some people don't last time I got high I thought I was gonna

fucking overdose that's fine it happens the best of us but it never you never overdosed on pot do you it's impossible right a couple things no really is anyone in history ever overdosed on pot I've been close a couple times he's been close I get I got fucking so paranoid I'm like I I'm never doing it again. We've got a couple people overdose and just kind of leave the podcast a couple times.

We had all. Benjamin just got up and we're left. He just walked out? Just walked out. Wow. Because he was, he couldn't, he was gone?

Yeah, he was gone. Now he's kicked up Twitter. They did that on purpose. I don't know what happened. No, it was on purpose. He was fucking using every word that you're not supposed to.

So they kicked them off Twitter. That's the truth. No, but it's genius. because he got kicked off Twitter and now he set up a Patreon to support First Amendment rights and his Patreon's fucking doing great so I think he I think it was like all

like a scam get kicked off Twitter you look like a fucking hero right everybody always has a fucking side angle I got kicked off Twitter for a week and I felt like something I felt like yeah I'm like a real dude now I'm like you guys are Twitter for different reasons

I got kicked off Twitter for different reasons I got kicked off Twitter for a week it twice and I think kicked off Facebook one time for like a week I got shut down like a read but I couldn't boast yeah that's what they make you yeah no you gotta sit there yeah you gotta sit there and then people

are tweeting about you and just got to sit there and fucking take it you're like who gives this shit what I'm gonna do with my life I'm worried about no but then you couldn't even like couldn't even like people's comments they every time I click like on Twitter they'd be like they remind me that I like six more days in fucking yeah yeah they would

they would tell you like five hours Yeah, and I'd be like, God damn. Until you could click again. You're like, you cock suckers. Then you realize you like it. You need it. And then you're like, you know what? Maybe they forgot.

Let's go away. And then you hit it. And it's like three days and 22 minutes. I know. Fucker. They hold you to it. That first tweet when your thing is suspensions up, that's a sweet one. I had a picture of my balls up.

Yeah. Seven and eight months on Twitter. And then somebody finally reported you. I got into a Twitter beef with somebody. He'd rather me right out. Yeah. That's what happened. I called some guy a cunt.

And I guess you could. I thought you could call a guy a cunt. No. I know you can't call women cunts because that's disrespectful. I called somebody a cunt on Twitter and they put me on probation nine months later they hit me up on that cunt. Really? Yeah. That was one of the words they did ban me for.

Owen was using N-word, like random F-word, faggot. I don't know what you guys say here, but. We say faggot. I'm sick and tired. That's a light night. no i know i say i say i'm gonna say the r word and the f word and the fucking i ain't got time for all this no i know i know i don't give a fuck what they think of your church no no no no no no i want you to talk how you would talk behind your walls this is what a part people come on the fucking podcast

and all of a sudden they want to be like this fucking i want you to be people want to be smart i don't want to be smart on a podcast no i want you to be you that's number one i don't give a fuck if you got something to say i don't get me say it who gives a fuck if it comes back to bite us in the ass and it comes back to bite you in the ass. What do you think about like professional athletes who have side accounts so they can go comment? So like Kevin Durant got caught this year. So like if you said

something bad about Kevin Durant, he has a different account that would come and attack you, but it's just him. Hmm. That's interesting. You should come up with a side account. I don't even have time for the account. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but that's a bitch move on Kevin Durant's part, isn't it? To have a side account? I guess.

I don't know. And everybody, they can figure out who it is anyway. It's like, I have the side account. Then he was like, I know, but then he said, well, I didn't know. I didn't know that was me. Oh, I thought it was my assistant. Somebody hacked me or some shit. Yeah, someone hacked me.

It's all, it's all a fucking crock of shit. I got enough time for Twitter and Facebook. Instagram, a friend of mine does it for me. I email them the pictures. The Twitter goes crazy. Every time you tweet, it goes fucking nuts. No, no, we go nuts on Twitter. We got them under control.

There's savage isn't they're ready to fuck? How many people you got on Twitter? I have no idea. But they're fucking all good people. every one of them a couple of ex-felons every one of them I gotta have three

three thousand four thousand ex-felons ready to attack really oh yeah they send me pictures like a fucking army arsenal it's fucking crazy ready to attack

I got them in every state you got guns you got guns here me I got a couple but you need a gun right what do you mean you need a gun

no you need a gun you need a gun to protect your property sure you need a gun to protect your property yeah but someone you get to school you gotta bring a fucking peace now

do you I think in the next You got to listen. My daughter's five. You have children. Yeah. It's got to be your biggest fear today. Absolutely.

You're in your writer's room. You're with your friends talking also and you get a fucking text. They use kids in schools in lockdown. Right. What are you thinking right now? Right. You got to get close time. I almost got in trouble already because of the ISA.

So what's the security here? Yeah. No, no. You got to. So either you have to get together with eight dads and go listen, you said seven sacks of shit. You're all clean. You're all stockbrokers.

You're all fed. Baggy fucks. It's time to get a gun and we take shifts at that fucking school. Well, seriously? Yeah, this is what it's going to turn into it? I would do it. I think the principal would, she's a, this is a better. No, the principal don't got in no dick.

You just stand at the door? No, you're just sitting in your fucking car with coffee. A guy released at 12. And the guy comes in a three. Every day, alternate dads come. All guys that are clean. Give me a Vietnam vet that's dying and shoot somebody. That's a guy I want.

I'll pay him to sit outside the school. Yeah. And blast the kids. the head with a fucking bazooka you think i'm fucking with you i'll go to boulder and find my old friends fred from vietnam they got agent orange they don't give a fuck about anything right really don't right you know uh what what do you do as a dad what are you supposed to do sit and wait for that i told me get a cop there unless you unless you go now all private schools these people who charge your 30 grand a year they better come up with fucking security those schools all right so where's the

fucking cop. I go, if there's a shooting happens, there's 50 cops here. So we're at, we don't need 50, get one here. And they go, we can't do that. I go, why can't you? They're on patrol. I go, patrol and what? What happens at 8.30 in the morning on a fucking school day? Even the blacks

take that time off. They wake up late. The blacks. My wife's Hispanic so I can do black jokes. I'm just worried about my buddy over here. With the, with the virus, fucking cough drops. And the fucking, and the fucking. No, I'm worried i'm worried i'm worried i'm worried about the fucking skit the kids and the shootings no you have to as a

concerned parent as a a fucking uncle whatever you got to take your stuff what the fuck is going on in these schools all right there's something is going to happen like that so you eventually something will happen like that that a fucking kid makes a threat at school and the dad finds out about the dad goes down there with a submachine gun and just blows some kids head off and what are you gonna do how you're gonna justify it's gonna happen eventually you know 20 years ago we didn't think something like Vegas would happen we never in our dreams thought that you could go to a constant and shot Las Vegas so my brother anything is possible in today's fucking world and you have to prepare for fucking anything nothing they come at me anymore is like wow what a fucking

surprise I don't even like big crowds no that's why I like my my shows I don't draw a crowd I sell maybe 30 tickets that's all you need it's 30 people to get the party stuff You know what I'm saying? If you take your dick out, only seven get offended. You're in the fucking winning percentage. You can't go to jail. You follow me? But it's true.

It's fucking true. It's going to happen somewhere. Yeah, well... A kid's going to get a wind. A dad's going to get a wind. And he's going to go, you know what? I'm not going to call the cops. But Daddy, please.

He's going to pick up that couch and under that fucking couch. There's a shotgun, an Uzi and a leftover fucking bazooka from his Nazi days. And he's going to go down that school and wait. for that fucking kid watch it's gonna happen he's gonna shoot a kid that bullied his kid no no no some one of these kids is gonna go home and go look did you see the youtube shooter yeah no i didn't see the videos of the youtube shoot yeah let me tell you something if i would have saw that video i would call the feds you knew she's about to shoot somebody yeah look at the fucking videos yeah you knew she's fucking about to shoot somebody don't take a genius you could tell that that bitch was

crazy yeah but everyone's crazy right You can't tell after the fact who's crazy. You know, I mean, you can't say, oh, that's person's crazy. There's not enough evidence. They found her that morning. They found her sleeping in her car. Yeah, and they did a check, and they called the family, and they go, okay, I guess she's okay. They should have checked Facebook.

They should say, hold on one second. Let's check Facebook and Instagram. Everybody puts their fucking testimonials. Pretty soon they're going to NCIC, like, you know. They should. I don't give a fuck. Your police record and your Facebook and Twitter. That'll be fucking interesting.

Right. If your social media comes up, they have a score for you, for saying like crazy shit or something. Yeah. That's got to come next. I don't give a shit. I just don't want my kids murdered. And it's scary because it's like you would think it's going to be in the worst neighborhoods at the school I went to my senior year. Someone stabbed another kid.

And like a lot of these school shootings are happening at like nice places. so you think you're going to move to a place and put your kids in a good situation you're not really safe anywhere now yeah I live in Jersey City so maybe I shouldn't even maybe I shouldn't even say that but

no Jersey City representing I love it but people you know people say it's not going to happen here but you don't know where it's going to happen how long do you live in Jersey City for just a couple years I was I was Journal Square look it's better it's still dumpy but it's better

movie theater still there yeah really Yeah, but I think now they made it like a church, like a Mormon, like a, not a Mormon, but like Jehovah Witness kind of a church. Because I see a lot of people dressed up standing in front of it. That place used to be scary. It must have been nice growing up there, right? Just fucking no rules? I used to go to the movies there, and there was a sporting good on that street when you went running Journal Square.

So the buses come this way from North Bergen, this way. and right there we're going like south i guess so you would say there used to be a street in fact the guy that blew up the world trade center his office was right on that street in an office it had an office on the first time yeah that's where their office was in 1991 or whatever yeah 91 93 whatever it was there across the street from there when i was a kid that was the best boarding good even though north bergen had levy's and had two floors that one had the best shit in the and we would take a bus go to the sporting goods and go to that

movie theater. I went to see all those Pink Panther movies there, stone to the gills on the Saturday. You know, six of us were not supposed to smoke weed. We buy a nickel bag, get seven joints, and go to the movies there. I saw Richard Pryor live on the sunset strip there. Yeah. Yeah. Came out in the movie theater.

Yeah. I must have seen 20 movies there. It was always an adventure. Yeah. Because you had to take a buzz down there. Where did you smoke on that before you After you got off the bus? After we got off the bus. Sometimes before, on the way up the hill. Before, after, during...

We would smoke. Be smoking at theater ever? None knows. In New York City theaters, I've sparked up. In the 80s, you could spark up at a movie theater in New York. You could spark up on 42nd Street, and maybe an usher would say something to you. Yeah, those are rough theaters. But there was a movie theater on 181st Street that two movies,

for $2. Yeah. You could light a crack pipe and nobody would say a fucking word. I smoked crack in that one time. It's not a joke. I saw Officer and a gentleman there

and fucking... You smoke crack from an officer and gentleman. I didn't smoke crack. I smelt it in that one. Oh, he smelted. I thought he smoked. I smoked like, this was like when people were putting coke in their cigarettes

at that point, 85. Yeah. I was, as a matter of fact, I wasn't doing coke then. I was just smoking pot. And I remember smelling in the movie he'd go, who the fuck would smoke fucking this shit to come see? Like, it was like a kung fu.

Oh, I know exactly what movie it was. The one with the black dude that he owned a pizza place and they knew kung fu. I don't know. Oh, my God. I was going to say do the right thing. No, no, no. It's before do the right thing. And it's Leroy, Bruce Leroy.

Yeah? Yeah, see Bruce Leroy comes up there. The guy just died. The guy that played the karate expert in the movie just passed maybe two years ago. And they had poster bottom up. The Shogun of Harlem. That was his name. I'm the Shogun of Harlem.

Yeah, my wife said she used to go to all these fucking movies. Now, where'd you go to the movie? She grew up in a Bronx, but she said they used to just, she grew up loving kung fu because you watch all these kung fu movies on Saturday afternoon. On the TV, that's all you get. There were only four channels, and one of them was just, Kung Fu movie. Now, where did you grow up? Boston? No, I grew in Philadelphia. Okay. How'd you end up in New York comedy? Yeah. I mean, I went, I didn't start that, but I started in Chicago.

Now, when I used to talk to Pete all the time, our first mutual friend, that's when you were at it, you had a deal at ABC, you were developing a show. Yeah, NBC. This had to be 10 years ago or something like that. And then I didn't see you anymore. I know, I disappeared. Where'd you go? No, you can't, I couldn't maintain it. I didn't have a podcast then. It's, it's fucking looking back, very frustrating to watch these fucking guys. Not that I'm bitter, but I am a little bit, but watch these guys, they get something and they can, they can kind of keep it going with the podcast, you know? So I had a lot of fans, but then they just, you just lose them because I couldn't, I didn't get another special, you know, I didn't, the pilot for NBC didn't get picked up. It was

just fucking, then you're just sitting there like, where'd everybody go? And there was no communication, like there was. Yeah, there's no Twitter. There's no, like people, people just, you know, I had a lot fans then but they just fucking drift away you know and it's it's annoying there was like with twitter i could have kept them you know because they just people even say now oh shit oh fuck i listen to your podcast i remember when you did your fucking

podcast i know for a fact but they say they say oh yeah i was a fan when you did your HBO thing and it was i didn't know i didn't either didn't know about my podcast so it's it's fucked up that like all this shit we're like you can just build your base off of Twitter and and you know

do just you can kind of stay in touch with your fans you couldn't back then i did an hbio half hour and then it's fucking done you know i mean some of it's my fault because i'm not that good you know fucking i did it with bill burr he's doing pretty good he fucking parlayed in something louis ck he was one of the fucking patrice o'neal he's dead but that's his soul yeah but i'm just saying like but but some guys fucking norton you know some guys but you know it's hard show business is not fucking uh it's not easy you know and listen in 2009 i was ready to drop out Like from the road. Yeah.

Act and maybe do stand-up. Yeah. But you like doing stand-up, right? I like doing stand-up, but when you have a family, it's different. Yeah, right. You know, you love doing stand-up when you're single. Right. Fucking deal.

Because you can't enjoy it as much because then my wife's like, how's it on the road? I have to say it sucks. And then it kind of does suck because I know she's fucking mad that I'm not there, you know. Well, when you're married and you have kids, you got to come on. You know, can you imagine this is 20 years? ago when we were working Tuesday through Sunday yeah you came home on Monday to do laundry pay your bills deposit your check yeah leave again Tuesday fucking morning right and then Wednesday you did radio Thursday you did radio and Friday you did

radio thought that was work Jack now we do Thursday Friday Saturday Saturday and that's too much like that's too much I can do that twice a month and put my whole heart into it and do two shows to the solid I can't do two weeks in a row no more. Really? Three, four week in a row. Bullshit. Can't do that no more.

That ship sailed. I could do the every other week for a while. And that's what you tell your agent every other week? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You could do every week, right? I send them the dates. If I wanted to, but I don't want to.

Yeah, it's too exhausting. I don't want to. I have a family. I want to come home. I want to enjoy. But you're exhausted. Then you feel like you're going to fucking die, you know? Plus, I can't do attention to this.

Yeah, right. If I do that more stand-up, I can't give the podcast the attention. I did that four years ago, and we lost, we went down the tubes. I wanted an eight-week run. You can't do it. People just dropped out of the show, the podcast. You got to remember that.

A podcast is like a fucking wave. It's like a people come and people go. Yeah. Okay. People come and people go. And then you have too bad podcasts, they disappear. And then they come back. And it's free and it's free.

They see something online. line and you make them laugh and they come back and you have to accept that as a human being. Right, right. I don't look at my numbers anymore because I don't want to get the press. No, no, a new flavor is always on the horizon and there's nothing you can do. That's why

you've got to respect the guys like Burr and Sebastian and who keep pounding it. The little Mexican kid you know, the fact kid, fucking fluffy. Oh yeah, fluffy you know, fluffy once told me he goes I don't know how long this window's going to last.

So I got to attack it. Because in 10 years, nobody remember Fluffy. There's a new fat Mexican kid. And you're out there at the fucking, fucking Chahoga Hills Casino in Flagstone somewhere. Hoping to get half a room full.

You know, getting 30 people, two of them that remember your podcast back in 1980. We remember your podcast, man. The nightly ate the 20 edibles and he ate the star. No, it's fucked up because I always think I'm the same age, you know? And I see fans, they go, oh, we saw you, you know, know 10 years ago and then I'm like oh they look old I don't I guess I look old too but

when you do comedy you just you kind of lose track of that so so I guess you do got to push it when it's hot but you know back to your point about like my like whenever when there's like some scandalous something happens with my podcast the numbers fucking go crazy and then as soon as it stops they go away you know and then and then you know I get in fights on my podcast and people like you know my wife's like what the fuck you're doing I go that's what you know I'm not doing it because people like it but they do like you know what I mean and and I don't mind because I don't mind fucking getting an argument with people you know I gonna get an argument somewhere just you know like I was on

I was gotten a fight with fucking on on Norton show on the serious of show because some guy some guy fucking said something about my daughter you know we I said his wife was fat you know I said you're fat you're what I said you're your fat your wife's probably fat you're from the Midwest and he he then he said something about my daughter so I fucking grabbed them you know and then And Norton's like, you can't fucking touch people on radio. But I'm like, I knew the fucking numbers would go crazy. You know what I mean?

Like, I didn't do it for that reason. But when you go in there, you're just trying to have a fucking regular conversation. Like, I barely even want to fucking do it myself. You know what I mean? Like when I do a podcast and it's just, you know, like I did one last night. I forget the name of it. But I'm like, I just wanted to fucking leave. You know, it's just a fucking regular.

Like, I don't have a fucking regular conversation. And I don't know the fans can get that anywhere, right? They can listen to fucking talk radio on fucking... Yeah, no, I agree with you. On 10-10 wins or whatever the fucking station they listen to. I just don't want this to be fucking poison backstage MTV Awards 91, my guy. What, your show? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

Yeah, but you're already like a guy. You're like, I'm a regular white guy. So I don't want to have a regular white guy shell. Fuck that. You know what I mean? I want to be a regular guy. No, I don't want to be a regular guy. I want to be a, I want to be outrageous.

You know what I mean? So that's what I try to fucking do. I try to push fucking buttons and I try. But every time... time I get into like a situation the numbers fucking spike so now I stop listening to I stop watching numbers because I don't be a fucking whore to the numbers you know what I mean so I don't even want to know I'm just like I just try to have a fucking good time and now I sound like I need to have a good time no but I try to like I try to make it fun for me if it's fun for me it's probably fun for the fans

you know how many podcasts do you do a week I do I've won at Coomia's network you know Coomia from oh and a yes and that's like behind a paywall and then I have another that's cool that's called Burning Bridges and then I have my own ship my other show called misery loves company and I do that that's that's you know that's no there's no paywall there but you know and even doing two shows a week it's it gets a little fucking you know I mean could I do a fucking show four days a week I don't know I mean I admire like Rogan he does it he does four hours 20 fucking two shows a week I don't know how he does yeah it's amazing and even bill burrow I asked him I go how do you just sit there and talk to yourself I couldn't fucking talk to myself like I

I think it's like amazing. You can fucking, or either he's crazy. Do you just sit there and talk to yourself? I go, do you pause it when you run? And he goes, I just keep talking. I'm like, I can't even imagine. So even doing two shows a week is a little bit of a, is a little bit of a challenge, you know? How many spots do you do a week still in the city?

I don't, you know, I'm going to do more. My wife was like going to school and because she's bilingual. She was going to bilingual school. So my nights were a little bit cock blocked. But now I want to do more spots because I just, it's more. I don't know. It's been more fun lately. I have new material. My podcasts are going good. So I want to like get out there. I want to be like I want to have like a fucking late. I want to have like a late and late in my career renaissance. You know what I mean?

Because it's not most many people do it. You know what I mean? So I think it would be cool if I could fucking have like being like an old guy and be like keep up with the fucking young guys. You know what I mean? Like I work at a comedy seller and somebody comes up and one of the young guys or a young guy kills and I follow him. like yeah fuck you you motherfuckers you like I'm not afraid to you let's do this right because I'm supposed to be like in my in my later years I'm supposed to be like just fucking feeling sorry for myself and being like well was me but my son's five I don't have time for that shit how old are you now I'm older than you I looked up my I looked up yeah I am I looked up on your Wikipedia 63 yeah I'm older than you Jesus Christ you look great I do you're like you 42 or some

shit so yeah I did my I mean you know my mom looks My mom's like 80. My mom still looks good. I wouldn't fuck her, but you know what I mean? She still looks good. So, but so we hold up,

you know? But I'm saying I'm still old, you know? My brother's three older than me and he had a heart attack. So you don't know. It doesn't, you know, and he exercises,

whatever, so you don't know. So I'm saying like, I want to have like a fucking. Is he okay? And that's why I like this part. Yeah, he's fine.

But I just want to have the, no, he's like a vegan now and, you know, whatever. But I'm saying I want to have like, I want to have like a fucking late in career in my career. I don't want to be like I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid of you following you young motherfuckers. You know what I mean? I don't give a shit, you know? Because I always thought like when you watch these guys. I mean, partly it's like my brother, Neil's in a business. So I'm like, I'm kind of like competitive with him in a way.

And so I'm like, fuck this. So I think you need that. You need somebody to fucking keep you like competitive. You know what I mean? But you're doing great. So I don't know why I'm fucking talking to you about it. I'm an old man.

I know, but that's what I'm saying. You're like a role model for me. You're like a fucking... It was hilarious because I was already going a different direction. I was getting movies and shit.

You know what? The stand-up is just not getting it. And that's fine. What do you mean? Not getting it for you? I wasn't clicking. The stand-up just wasn't... But it is now?

Yeah, a little more. Yeah. A little more. It wasn't clicking back then. In 2009? I started clicking in about 2000. was when I started putting it together. That's the sad

fucking situation that Wait, you're saying forever? And then you just got good at you just In 2010 you're like I'm clicking now It took me 19 years To find my rhythm. Okay The rhythm. Well I feel like I'm finding my rhythm now because I'm like... How long have been doing comedy?

Too long. Too fucking long. But I feel like now I'm like I'm madder I have reasons to be mad and I'm fucking my I've kids. I got to fucking support them. So I'm like I don't give a fuck you know I mean like I'm like let's let's just fucking do this you know I'm not I don't I'm not as nervous as much I'm like let's fucking do this I'm like just I'm like just be as aggressive as I can you know I mean for a white dude who on a webpage yeah like a website

yeah no I don't do that I got to do more of that but I have people helping me this podcast has like been good because people come out like you got the fucking guy for with AIDS you know I mean but people come up and they and they want to help you know I mean guys who can like I don't know I don't know how to do this shit you gotta get a web page yeah videos you gotta get a YouTube page right web or YouTube but they gotta be able to go somewhere right right you're gonna go for it there's certain steps that yeah but I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta I don't have enough I don't have enough money it costs you 10 cents to make no I'm not talking about that I'm saying from my kids I gotta fuck yeah I know so this is how you make money

yeah I mean I remember Louis CK was like he's like yeah I got a man I only have so many years to make money he was right because he got fucking busted you know I mean but I don't I'm saying like you only have so many years I can't I can't sit around my kids to be like god daddy fucking he ran out of jokes you still write a lot I try to I don't write as much as I used to but right these scripts or anything like no never I think there are ways I don't even like the fucking I don't like that I don't like the format I don't even like the fucking type I don't like what's the format you have to fucking do screenplays in like that thing where you have to like I know you say that like you have to like stage fry yeah you like yeah you like they have

to like do parentheses and shit I don't want to do any parentheses I write in my book I have a notebook I write in the notebook but I don't want I don't like show I don't like show business either that's why I don't like L.A and other reason I don't like L.A because a lot of fucking rules there's so many rules out here you know do any

meetings about you were here no because you got on stage a couple times no I didn't get on stage at all because I was kind of on vacation plus I know I know I know how to do stand up you know what I mean somebody asked me you want to do a show in Van Nuys I go no I don't know I don't want to Van fucking Nice where are we now North Hollywood?

Yeah it's even further than that right? No, Van Nuys is even closer yeah that's what I'm saying it's 15 minutes and then I told the guy I couldn't do it and because I said I couldn't do it he wanted me even more in that typical He was a fan no I'm saying no in show business if you tell somebody you're not interested they're like oh he must be good You have to act like you don't want to fucking do it right You got a point. Oh it's like if they say we couldn't you do it for this much money you go no even if you even if there's not a money reason if you go no then they offer you more money so whatever so that's but anyway i don't want i do i don't like this is a vacation yeah and i don't like doing stand-up like hey this guy's doing hey this guy's from new york huh and i gonna be like hey i'm from

new york you want pizza you know what i mean i don't i don't fucking be like that i don't you know what i mean so now i just go up but everybody go hey i'm neil brennan's brother because neil lives out here and he's big he's like people think he's like very successful so i just like mock that. I'm like, hey, I'm Neil Brennan's brother. Even though I'm fucking older than him, and I'll fucking beat the fuck out of him. Esther said, you said you didn't, he thought he didn't like you or something? Yeah, he don't say

much to me. I always say hello. Where you see him? The comedy store. He's probably afraid of you. No, he's a sweetheart of a guy. No, he's not. No, he's not a fucking fucking gold digging, star fucking show business type. He's like a, no, he's doing what he's doing, you know?

No, he's, he's probably, that's what he's, he's probably afraid of you because you're like a real dude and you can probably sniff it out no no no I shake his hand he's not a bad all right he's a good guy he doesn't nobody he just sits there he doesn't he doesn't he knows how to work it yeah he works and he writes he's a great rider I've complimented him yeah I told him a few times if I could write like you I'd be a fucking murderer what do you how do you write your jokes you just not like him I'll tell you that much you just a fucking joke that guy but you right you just go up with with something in your head yeah tell a story sometimes you have something in your head

sometimes you tell a joke but to sell the joke maybe you tell a story you go with the fucking joke it's different styles you know it's I used to just be machine gun like Rodney yeah that's one-liners that's funny for 18 minutes when you got 45 minutes ain't that fucking it's fucked up people don't understand that so people understand like a one liner yeah i work for stephen right one time and people just got sick

of his fucking act after a while my 18 minutes you yeah there's a one line was a one line of yeah people go pee they look at their phone yeah and there goes your line then once they get the rhythm once they get the rhythm you're done if you tell them a story justify why you're saying these thoughts tell them something that happened in your life it's easy to tell them the jokes sometimes right so if you believe in something you bring it to the stage, even if it sounds wrong, but you sell it the right way.

You're a fucking genius. You've been at a comedy club watching the comics before you and some guy that's not edgy tries to be edgy and it backfires on. It's not edgy. Why is he going?

And guys like you and I will say whenever, whatever the fuck is necessary. We'll have a point and we'll deal with the complications later. That's the good part about doing stand-up though. Well, that was the part I,

if it was up to me, I'd go fucking nuts on stage. And I do go nuts on stage to a degree. I'd tame it down a little bit because I just tame it down because it doesn't necessarily have to go there. Yeah. Yeah, but also

you can't do what you want to do because you follow the guy, you're on a show. You know, if you go on the comedy store, you're one guy in a show. So unless you're going to go up like Kinnison, screaming with the fucking jacket and the like the whole thing. But that's a lot, that's a lot of work to go up there every night. The fucking comedy store is a tough place to go up every night.

No, that's what I'm saying. So. You got to follow DeLea, your brother, Rogan, Ryan White, Chappelle. Yeah. You don't fucking know. Allie Wong. It's a combination of fucking killers. Right.

And there you are, quarter to 11. They've already seen three killers. Right. You better go up there and bring something. Right. Oh, an arrow, a fucking drum. You better bring something, bitch. Right.

So your energy, you know, when you go to the store, when I go to the store, I get anxiety, Kevin Red. Like 20 fucking seven years of comedy, and I'm looking in the eye telling you that I sit back there and go, how can I get out of here right now without nobody knowing, without me not pissing people off? Yeah. Like that's the... But then when you get up, you're okay, right? As soon as I hear my... As soon as I see that light turn blue, it's post time.

bitch right right you didn't run now you're right now you can't run no i'm just saying sometimes you what you can't really you know if they saw somebody if you go up who somebody who kills right before you it's just it gets a little you can't always do exactly what you want to do because you got to deal with what you're with the wake of what they created you know what i mean you want me to tell you something the whole wake is whatever wake you create in your head when you follow somebody okay think about that no i know i know i know you've been doing comedy for if you've been doing comedy as long as i have you know that there's times

there's times I go into that fucking main room I gotta follow Christa Lear and I can feel the shit coming out of my asshole because he's up there just killing him clean

he's likable he's good looking in my mind I can't follow that if I walk up there with that mindset like I did for 20 years you're dead

yeah you have to go to the comedy store wanting to follow the best motherfucker right like you know I'm like, I'm going to go to the store? Yeah, I like to follow some fucking magician,

but that's not the case, bitch. You're following Joe Rogan today. And, you know, like I always said, going to the comedy stores, like, getting in your car to go and get into the shit. Nobody gets in a car to go get shot. Like, where are you going? I got to go down the sunset.

They're going to put a bullet in my heart. I'll be back in about two days, you know what I'm saying? Nobody does this. You got to be crazy to do this when you go to the store. No, I know. Like this week, I'm trying to write a lot. new material. I'm not going to the fucking store. I'm not fighting those savages. I go to flappers and hide. I go to the fourth wall in hide. I'll stop at the ha-ha and hide. But, you know,

there's some weeks that you just get this, you can't lift like a heavyweight every week. Right. There's some weeks you just go and fucking do a couple push-ups and a couple sit-ups. You do some yoga, you switch it up a little bit, you know. The store, you sit back there. I mean, you don't want to sit. I'm not drinking. right i'm not drinking so what am i going to set the bar for if i sit back there and i'm blocking the girls so i'll just sit where mitchie sure sits up in the top there that last row and i'll watch three or four guys before me and i'll fucking work myself up jack i'll be scared and fuck as long as i can see light and i know the door is open i'm all right if they lock the door i get anxiety it's

a real cage fight yeah years doing comedy and still get fucking anxiety and butterflies and shit. It's like seeing Kichi, you know what I'm saying? Well, it's kind of like, I just started comedy four months ago and it's part

like I live, there's parts of it that I love and there's parts that are great, but then there's also parts of it that like make you think like why am I putting myself through this to maybe in 20 years be one of the top 10% that's doing, like there's

there has to be something about it that keeps he in it for 20 years. We've never discussed this. The percentage, somebody broke it down to me like maybe 15 years ago at the comedy store one night. The percentage of stand-ups compared to doctors, there's thousands of comedians, guys. Thousands in this country.

You know how lucky we are Kevin Brennan to even be in the circle that we've been? You have any fucking idea? Like, when I wake up in the morning, I used to be pissed off. I'm not pissed off anymore because I proved my point. Which is what? I wasn't a criminal.

I was a stand-up comic. Yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean. Yeah, no, I know. I mean, I know what you're saying, but I have a problem. Like, I can't, like, I don't, I'm not, I'm, like, I'm still mad about something. Like, I don't know what it is. I'm mad about something.

So I use that to go up on stage. Like, if I don't feel it, I'll just tap into that. Like I'll just tap into like and that case that gets me. Nothing wrong with that. No, that gets me away from being nervous, you know, and people go, why are you mad? I do the same thing sometimes. I go, I don't know why I'm mad. I might be mad at my wife.

I might be mad at just life or just like the fact that like, you know, like show business or whatever stand up or like I'm following a guy who's fucking killing. You know? And then you're like, why the fuck? Why is this guy have to be fucking killing? Because I don't want to deal with this shit tonight. And then I go up there and the fucking crowd's looking at me like, where's the other guy, you know? and then, but I just use the fucking, but I'm still, I still feel like I'm mad.

I'm just fucking mad. And I got, that's what I'm saying. I want to be like, I'm like a mad fucking comic. Well, use it to your advantage. No,

when I go, still when I go up on stage, I want to be mad and just fucking. And even if I follow Bill Burr or whatever, I'm like, I don't give a fuck, I'm mad. You're the Captain Kirk of the Enterprise, baby,

boy. Yeah, so I'm going up. I'm mad. And so fuck him. You're from the home of Rocky Boboa. You know what are you scared? Yeah, so if I, If I, the worst thing I can happen is like I get murdered.

You get shot in the head. Who gives a fucking? You go out like a soldier. Yeah. They build a statue in front of you in front of fucking the comic strip along with you. So if I get murdered. You and Lucian out there with statues. So if I get murdered, I get murdered.

Who gives a shit, right? So who cares about dying at a fucking stand? I mean, you're worried. But now I'm like, I got to fucking worry about dying and all this shit. You're killing in the name of. You're killing in the name of. That's it. I love that fucking.

Let me give some shoutouts here real quick. here. I can tell you're mad, so. Eddie Camberos, C. Dizzle, that squad in Arizona, I'm coming. The first week of May, the Tempe, Eric C, Quadrex, Jojo Manisi, Julio Cyanz.

What are you nuts? Jimmy from fucking Rhode, Arkansas there. Jimmy Rhodes from Arkansas. Chase Leopard and my man Nick Fadogato. Are you fucking nuts? Who are these guys? Who are these guys? Don't worry about who they are.

The people who are sending them the pictures of the guns. Oh, right. We got people out there in the jungles getting ready. Don't forget Columbus next Thursday night. That's all this left. Either you show up Thursday night or I'm not going to see you, cock suckers. So now you're fucked. Once at 20th, Friday.

So you show Thursday. The people who show real respect, show up on Thursday anyway, ready to go. Prepared. You're waking. up high on fucking 420. If I was here with Lee, we would have started the marathon on Wednesday. You're going to bed high. We're going to bed high and waking up high.

If you get over to beside us, I'll take you to fucking Columbus, and you'll be eating edibles for three days straight. Eating that fuck in the California. What's that place that has all the thousand dishes? You're going to the cheesecake factory. Cheesecake factory. They got one right at the Columbus Fonniebaum, right? Yeah, right outside.

Right outside. You'll be in there every day for lunch. That must be pretty cool, though. I mean, how long have you guys been going to Columbus, Ohio? Like, to me, like, that seems like the coolest part of comedy is getting to travel the country. And I know going to the same malls, 20 years in a row must get old at some point. But to me, like, it just sounds kind of cool to be like, I've been coming to this club or this city for 20 years. I never do nothing.

I go to a city. I never do nothing. Well, a lot of times I don't have a car. And then they go to a club that. And they go, what did you do today? I go nothing. I don't have a fucking car. Just sat in my fucking...

You don't go for a walk. I go for a walk. I exercise, but I don't like go to the zoo. I'd never been to a zoo. I never been... Everybody's like, everybody wants to go to the fucking aquarium. You know what I mean?

Nobody's asking you to go to the fucking... No, but they... I talked to other comments. I go, I went to the... They go, you want to go to the ball game? I go, no. Sit in a fucking sun all day? It'd be a football game.

It depends. If I was headlining, I can't go. But if I was featuring, I'd be there. Why? Because you had less responsibility? Yeah. That's true. You could talk all day and talk shit and tell stories.

All you got to do is go up and do 25 minutes. It's so funny though, you said about the 19 minutes for one-liner. Yeah, somebody comes in and pays $25 for you. You can't be in an Astro game all fucking day and go to a fucking... That's true. You got to rest up. You really can. I used to get livid when a waitress will want to fuck the feature because he did better.

But I'm like, he don't have a check spot. he don't have you don't have last call you motherfuckers and they thought he was younger and he was like I'm like you fucking dumb whores and they wouldn't fuck me because I call him dumb horse no it's just friends people don't know that side of the business you know what I mean like that you got all this responsibility I think it's like all fun of games but it's no it's it's very little fun in games listen I only have one opportunity at this in my world this is never ever going to happen again. It's not going to happen again.

I'm not 28 and this is going to happen. Right. So, I'd rather do nine shows a month. And give 100%. Why might bomb one of those shows? No. What happens when you bomb? What happens when you bomb?

You take the ride. No, but what happened? You're just taken out. But what happens with the crowd? They just, they're your fans, right? Yeah, listen. Oh, you don't bomb, you just don't have your good show. Yeah, you just don't have a good show. Maybe a Thursday night. Yeah.

You're rusty. You know, you haven't done 45 since Sunday night. Right. Or that Saturday the week before. It's not like L.A.'s 45-minute film. Right, right. So if you stay home for 10 days, that's why I always do at least one 45-minute set at the ice house in between those two weeks. Yeah.

To stretch that muscle. If not, that Thursday night, it's going to be a fucking long night, my friend. Yeah. Have you guys bombed, like, bomb, bomb? Like, for me, I just start. my whole body started sweating. And like, have you do have sets like that anymore where maybe it's not the whole set, but maybe like 20 minutes of it, just silent.

Absolutely. Ooh. Absolutely. I didn't think I connected with them that well this time in Nyack as I did the first time. After the snowstorm that Thursday night and shit, I could feel it. Something wasn't, it wasn't clicking. But as long as you know this, as long as you're not getting on the phone calling your brother, to kneel and going, dog, I just killed in Nyack.

That's when the problem starts. Right. When I go back to my room that night, what do you do? I have a journal. Yeah. And I write that I ate a bag of dicks. And I write the reason and why it happened.

Yeah, I do too. You right. You exactly know what happened. Lack of energy. You took a fucking chance on a joke. You took a joke in the wrong direction. You know what? sometimes getting there at five in the afternoon

when you have an eight o'clock show isn't that good of an idea. Your mind's little scrambled. There's a thousand reasons why. The singular reason is we fucked up. I was doing a show, I don't know, I guess like a year and a half ago. It was right near Christmas.

So I thought I was getting tired, you know? So I got some more caffeine and then, because I just thought I needed something for the show, you know. So I get some more caffeine. And then I'm sitting there, Louis C. walks in so I go oh fuck so I mean that's not a big deal but then uh then he goes uh I go when are you gonna go on he goes I'll go on after you so then everybody here is that louis there so now everyone's piling there the guy from Conan was in New York they're all

piling in this fucking in the the village underground at the comedy cellar so I go up on stage I'm like a fucking mess because I'm I got too much caffeine and now I'm like hype now I'm like nervous even though I shouldn't be nervous so I go up on stage I'm like I'm like my I got dry mouth and I'm just I'm so disgusted with myself

because I'm like you're a fucking how long you've been like even on stage I'm like how long you've been doing this and I felt like I had no idea how to how to like deal with it I had any idea like what to even

you know I did some crowd work but it was and then I got off Louis goes that was good I was a fucking mess so it's it's just it's amazing how like it but I learned like just don't fucking don't get too

whatever like you I learned my lesson but it was still like it was still like so annoying to me because I've been doing it too long to have a fucking show like that you know it's one thing if I'm new and I get I got an audition for fucking letterman and I'm nervous but I that wasn't the case I've been doing it too long and I just

was like thrown so I don't know if it ever fucking ends where you're just thrown for something will just fucking get you you know whether it's you're tired travel you just didn't eat right you're fucking got diarrhea or something thousand fucking variables people don't know that People don't know that.

People don't know. And they think like, what's wrong with Joey today? Sometimes you do a show where people laugh and they come up to you after the show and they go, that was a great show. I've seen you two times before and that's the best time I've ever seen you. But you still go, that was a shit show. Yeah. Like, I just did a shit show compared to what I did last week. Right.

At this place. Okay, now you go back to your room and you make your adjustments. and Friday early, maybe I pick up the energy, and there it is. And then the late show is easy now I'm steamrolling. Yeah. By Saturday, you're not going to fucking stop me, you know. I wouldn't think that you'd be this dedicated to the... Listen, they're going to pay $25 for you.

Yeah, I mean, it's good that, you know. $25 for you. Even if they don't laugh, but they know I left my heart on the stage. Yeah. That's how I feel. now. I can't control everything, but I'll fucking, I'll fight it. I'll fight. I fight and I fucking

and I try to give him fresh material. You know, you're always trying to give him something fresh. You're always trying shit. Even if it bombs, you're trying it. Yeah. Even if it bombs, you tried it. I don't want to go see a comic that I'm excited about. Do

the same hour he did last year. When I went to see him, something in your life had happened. Something had happened. Something happened. Something happened. Right. I don't want to do. dare myself sometimes. I'm like, don't be a faggot. Do it a joke. Like, I'll have the joke in my head. I'll be like, uh, it's not a, it's not the right time. I go, just do it, you faggit.

You know why I love to improvise? At the store. I could go crazy at the store. When that dude, when I walk up, he plays music for me. I could run with it. And I've done it a thousand times before. Now, I don't do it no more. And the last time I did it was about three weeks ago, I went nuts in the original room. And I felt good about it. Like, when I walked out of it, I'm like, ah, I still got that animal. Yeah.

I just tamed it here from time to time, because the crowd has tightened up a little bit in the original room. I've gone in there some nights and I've said some shit that the church people get it. Yeah. The podcast people get it. Yeah. But people that are just visiting here, we're going to the store to see Chris DeLeod.

Yeah. Yeah. But you tried it. Yeah. No, it is getting a little... That's what comedy's about. It is a little weird. It's got a little weird, but, you know, you got it.

Listen, if you're like, I'm going to do it, then I, then that's the way it is. You know what I mean? I see Louis C.K. walk up. You know, he's just, I'm like, that joke's inappropriate. Even I'm offended by it, but I'm like, at least he's fucking doing it and he's taking the fucking chance, you know? He's committing to it. Committing. Yeah, he's committing to like...

I go to open mics to... watch Lee at the fourth wall and I see this eight comics, nine comics. And you steal their best jokes? No, no. And four I'm kidding, of course, everybody.

Four of those kids will say something. That is funny. But that's what I learned. Their commitment is not there. So the joke is null and void. Yeah. They'll keep writing witty stuff, but until they commit

to that joke, and I don't know What part of it do you commit? It's when your whole soul is into that joke. If you throw a punch and you throw it like this, it's not going to fucking pan up for you. That's what it's like. You're throwing punches like this. You're covering yourself.

You're timid. You're timid. You're timid. You're afraid it will bomb. So you're timid with it. Even, like, the best guy of commitment that I've ever seen in the business is Doug Stanhope. Yeah.

When he commits, he commits. Yeah. And he commits, and there's people slamming bottles and saying, I'm out of here. But he committed. Right. And I could agree. Like, if I'm an audience member, and I'm not laughing at Stan Hunt, but I see a couple people get off, and Doug is up there with a bottle of booze smoking those fucking cigarettes.

And he's fucking talking from the heart. I'm all in with Doug Stanhope. And I'm all in with any comic that does that. It's when a comic is talking out of line, and they're not committed. They're telling you the joke, but they're shit. shoulders are hunched up right that's lack of experience it's not their fault i'm not mad at them you know maybe when you were doing comedy at the 12 year mark you did a joke that didn't work and some somewhere six years later you popped up the joke and now the joke works what do you think

you got funny and no you committed to the joke yeah you committed to the fucking joke i used to not be committed i don't know people are getting sick of this but i i used to not be committed because i didn't think I was the best guy on the show because I used to be on a lot of shows with Davidel so I was like he's funnier than me so I I shouldn't really I shouldn't be but now I'm like fuck that no you have to say fuck that I'm like it doesn't matter it's like there's always going to be someone funnier than me so I got I got to commit to I got a fucking family like I got to commit to this shit or just get the fuck off stage don't do it I used to shit my pants feature him for Davidel like just knowing that he was going to be watching you

He was going to be watching me. I'd be shitting my fucking pants on stage when I'd feature Miami in weird places. So I would, you know, like, I would go nuts and a couple headliners would complain. He never complain. A lot of guys never complain. He don't give a fuck. They follow anything in those guys. He's a beast.

They're beast. He'll fight. He doesn't matter what, he, I'd never, he just, it doesn't matter what he follows. He's like, he don't even say I don't give a fuck. You just know he don't give a fuck from like for third for like 25 years. And that's what the audience wants to know. No, but that's why they pay for. And that's why they look because he's like he's, you know, a lot of comics, they, they,

even if they pretend like they're pretend edgy but they're not edgy, and the audience knows that. But if you're like legitimately like a little bit loose upstairs, like it tells a little crazy. But that's, but that's what they like. I mean, the jokes are great, but they also like that he's that fucking thing like Stanhope. Like he's like Norton. Yeah, he's the fucking thing. Right. Norton fucking kills me.

Yeah, he's the thing. He's the real thing. They commit to their fucking jokes. Yeah. They'll commit to their fucking joke. Can you explain? I think I know what you're saying or I think I understand the basis of it. I don't want to hear the words. I want to hear your soul.

So don't say, like, for a long time, comedy became, you know, if this doesn't plan out for me, I'm going to kick the fetus of an aborted child. And the audience, some people would laugh at that. Like, they would take it there, like, it was kind of weird. You're not making me laugh. You're going to kick a fucking aborted child. Commit to that fucking thing.

that's it's experience Lee that's all it is it's experience and it's experiencing your writing and what you're right how can you write about kids if you don't have kids you know I know I see people how can I fucking do how can a Cuban dude be the head writer of a Jew show if I if I'm not

fucking just only happens in this country that they'll give fucking you the job to run blackish you know what I'm saying yeah then they wonder why the show don't fucking It didn't feel authentic. Yeah, it didn't feel authentic. That's why. It's the same thing with your comedy.

Now, I follow a lot of people now where they, you know, because now everybody wants to, they do jokes about kids or they either don't want kids or their nephew. And then I go right up and I go, I got kids and I just do my kids jokes and they fucking kill. But I'm, because I'm basically saying, like, don't listen to these fucking mother, these pieces of shit that are just trying to like do the kids jokes. They don't want kids, but they want, they want, they want, they want, credit for the kids jokes you know i'm like i got kids i want the fucking credit for the for the laugh you know what i

mean because it just to me it's just i don't know to me it's like when i used to watch like ray remand or whatever i would just be like i having kids you get jokes out of it you know and then i would i don't know the point is that it's like i i if something's not authentic i'm like don't talk about it you know i mean like don't i don't talk about being black my wife's Hispanic i talk about that but but if you don't kids don't talk about it you know no no and that's any and it won't work anyway it don't work anyway you know it doesn't because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about you'll get them for a while but you'll never get to that top level the confidence thing the confidence thing is is and commitment thing is confusing because like i can be i can like have confidence and then not have confidence but mostly

it's like you got to keep your act fresh is is what i would say to anybody like you got to keep refresh whatever whatever it takes to keep your act if it's like improvising on stage if it's like constantly coming up

with new material you gotta challenge yourself when you really feel like not committed is when you're sick of your act you know and then you just go up there you just do it by road

and you fucking you don't like it because they sense that you don't like it even if it's authentic material even if it's material that you really believed in at one point but now

yeah it just wear it's like fucking clothes they just wear they just wear it then and then you do you want to want something new, what you want something new to wear. And the fucked up thing is the crowd, even if they're drunk and stupid, they're still

pretty smart because you're the only thing up there. So they get what you're doing or not doing. You know what I mean? So when you go up there, if you're really fucking breathing fire, they get it. Even if they don't know you, they get it. But if you're not breathing fire, then they're like, oh, you know, he's just some guy. I can tell now when you're a podcast person or when somebody brought you to a show. Yeah.

Like I can tell. By how they laugh, right? they look at me. Yeah. I could tell that they were brought to the show. Like, you went to work and told your friend. You got to come see this guy. Yeah, and he never, that's...

And they laughed, they come around, or at the beginning they're just fucking staring at you? They just don't know where I was coming from. That's a phenomenal feeling. Like, when Ace opened for Rogan, I opened for like seven years. Yeah. It was always a dice throw.

why when I bombed I bombed but he probably loved it when you bombed right right he loved it because it set him up even better better but when I went off then he I went off yeah but it was always a 50 50 fucking shot yeah because I wasn't prepared you know

I didn't really give a fuck 20 minutes I could do 20 minutes on my head yeah and then when I got it I'm like I'm sick and tired of doing 50 50 shit right right I gotta take these bitches to the hoop for 18. You know what I'm saying? There's something about 18 minutes that you could sizzle a fucking room.

You can ride a room on fire in 18 minutes. And I said that was my goal. Even at the comedy store, my goal is to light that room on fire for 18 fucking minutes. The best is when like, my always favorite show when I started out was the night after I bombed because when I bombed, I would get so, I was so disgusted. Oh, I love it. I was so disgusted until the next six. And I was like, and then I would go up and I was so fucking pissed.

And I'd always have like a good show. And I always thought like, I wish I could bomb every night because the next night I always fucking have a great show. So, so that's, I still like that feeling where I just had a shit day and I go up on stage. And I'm like, I just want to fucking, like, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck who laughs. I don't give a fuck who's in the audience. You know, I just want to, I just want to like fucking tear it up, you know.

And I know it sounds like, you know, whatever. I know it sounds like an idiot like I've been doing it. this long but I still like that feeling of like let's grab the mic and let's fucking do this you know so you go to the comedy summer a lot yeah I yeah I yeah so and they you know the acts used to be stronger there but they're not as strong as they used to be but a lot of people you know they when I it was like Aziz and fucking Amy Schumer and there was a lot of fucking Louie they were all coming through and but now it's not it's not as uh and I'd rather follow somebody really good you know then then just like just I don't know like I'd rather somebody who fucking challenges the room and challenges the

the whole thing I just I don't like I'm like you I'm like I like a guy who's like I don't like anything that's like fucking cutesy I don't almost I don't I don't like any guys that appeal to women like I don't like a guy who's like if women like this guy a lot like I I just I don't like that because I just think that's like he's doing something wrong even though that's not even that's not even a right mentality. That's my fucking, that's what I like. I like somebody where the women's like, this guy's kind of a fucking asshole, you know, or this is inappropriate. But if a guy, if a guy really has appeal for women, I'm not impressed. Anyway. Is it hard to get people to shows like harder now? Because I've noticed, because I do smaller shows in L.A. And sometimes it's, because they have the store,

they have all the three main clubs and then they have the ice house and flappers. In New York, there's tons of places to see comedy so is it like when you have all of those amazing crowds is it harder to get people to show up to specific places the seller's always crowded the sellers probably like the comedy store right the comedy store is always crowded so the cellars always crowded the people have high expectations and then you know so you kind of you kind of have to live up to them which is which is the frustrating thing is because you can't really fuck around too much because they want they it's like the store yeah they want they want you to deliver you know they came with high expectations they don't so that's why like I said like we're saying you got to challenge yourself to like

I'm gonna do this new joke I don't give a fuck it's it might be inappropriate it might bomb but I'm gonna fucking do it you know because the number one the worst thing you can do in any in any of the any of this show business thing is just is to be afraid you know it's just the worst and that's why I don't like it out here because I'm always afraid I'm like who's gonna who's this guy like when I came in today I didn't even I thought he might be I don't know who he is you know what I mean I might fucking rub him the wrong way maybe he's a fucking big deal you know i mean like i go to the comedy esther coo's like come to the comedy store it's their anniversary i'm like i don't want to

fucking i want to i'll go up on stage but i want to fucking mingle because it's like because he i don't know who i'm talking to uh this guy was i was talking to a guy at the fucking he goes oh i booked the uh this in new york he goes i book the uh i was just talking regular to him you know and then he goes oh i met you in an aspen and i go oh i go you know he turns out he's booking jimmy phallan and all of a sudden it's like fucking change, you know? Like, I'm like, oh, yeah. How's it going?

He was there to see somebody. And then I had to do my, and I did my 10 minutes. I knew I wasn't going to get the show, but I just, I'm like, I know I'm not going to get the show. So I just fucking had a good time. But out of here, I feel like everybody, somebody, the guy at the fucking, the concierge at the fucking hotel of somebody, you know what I mean? So it's, it's, I'm joking, but I'm just saying, like, show business is like a little

bit funky out here, you know what I mean? Because I don't know, I don't know who's who, you know? it doesn't even matter like burke chrysher i did burke chrisher show today and the guy's a fucking he's a big deal he almost made me nervous going to his fucking house what because he's a big deal he's a big deal you're a big deal you know what i mean i got to fucking i'm like i'm out here i'm just talking to comics and it's like don't when i's talking to uh teamster tim he goes go in there and fucking he goes go in there and kill it with fucking joey i'm like what i thought we're just going to have a fucking podcast you know no i keep it no so i'm just saying it's

It's like, I feel like, you know, I come out or there's a little... How long have you known? There's a little... Like two weeks. I just met the guy. Where'd you meet him? I met him at Coomia. I met him.

He just was sitting in one day. He was came. They've, like, a little day of, like, spectator seats. So he came in. He was waiting to watch Coomia show. And he watched mine. They said, go watch Kevin. He's funny.

So then I was like, I was, he was the only guy there. I was incorporating him into the show. And then he was calling us a bunch of faggots for because we were doing all these dick jokes, you know? He goes, you guys talk about it. the other guy's dicks a lot. Well, you a bunch of faggots? And I go, maybe we are faggots. I don't know.

Because, you know, guys talking about it. If you're a fucking truck driver, you know, and a bunch of men are talking about guys dicks. Comics don't care. They're just joking around. So I thought he was funny. He called us out for being fags, you know? He was the getaway drive on the Michael's Juilli.

Yeah, he was telling me on the phone. Fucking hilarious. I have no stories like that. Tell me the team. I have no stories, no getaway stories. Where did you grow up? I just, I grew up. I was Catholic.

We grew up big family. We couldn't get into trouble because my dad would have beat the shit of us. He beat the shit of us even for like little things. How was the boys? Six boys, four girls. Jesus Christ. Ten kids. Jesus Christ.

God bless us. Did you imagine having ten kids? Fuck. And you're going on two kids and getting on stage. No, could you imagine? Ten fucking kids. Oh my God. Now I know why you guys are fucking savage.

It's no wonder. I know. No, we're all. We never got enough. You never get, when you have 10 kids, you can't give your kids what they need. What are the other two brothers? Not to sound like a fucking sad song, but like it's, I have two kids. I feel like I fucking Jip one. What are the other four brothers do?

One's, uh, they're all kind of, nobody has like a real, real job. My one brother, he works in the, he works for titleists. My other brother, he used to be a pizza delivery guy. I don't know. I don't know if I can get into that. But, uh, and then my other brother. brother is uh he like is a he's a he's in restaurant business you know so neil follow me into this neal's the youngest of the town so that's why he's a little bit fucking spoiled but he uh you know he followed

me into the stand-up and uh he met a lot of people at boston comedy ever worked there in new york well i first went to new york in 93 i did the open mic then i ate a bag of dog did you i don't went back really no that was a rough room i mean the audiences were the audiences weren't good this is a long thought this is like when Dave Chappelle Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Yeah. I was there. I was there.

I might have been emceeing. I might have been emceeing. That was a rough room. It was like a Sunday night of like 1040. And it was like 11 o'clock. And there had to be maybe 30 people. Well, that's a lot. They used to drag people in off the street.

They would basically bring them just no cover. I get anxiety just thinking about it. Really? I can't even imagine you've been through so much I can't even imagine a fucking stage whatever you know what I mean

like I was reading your Wikipedia you've been through a long you know what I mean like go yeah I mean stand up I don't know I mean it's it's it's it's not

you know it's not for everybody but you know it's not like the scariest you know it's scary but it's you know I mean bombing sucks but you think you wouldn't be afraid like you know because you're upbringing and all the shit you've been through oh please that's part

of the fucking no but i'm saying people wouldn't think you'd be nervous to go up on stage you know even at the beginning even at boston comedy club but that was a shithole that was a shithole that and i used to go to new york comedy club and die a slow debt it was just a summer of death i went on the summer of debt too i lived in new york for nine months of bombing but i put it together and I went back to Colorado and the open mic scene was fucking phenomenal at the time. Yeah, and it was way better than New York.

Way better. Because they had regular audiences. Yeah, they were. So you learned your lesson. You appreciate Colorado. Yeah, I went back to Colorado. I did like 18 months of straight fucking comedy like a savage.

Yeah. Seven nights a week. You know, writing, writing, writing, crying, bombing. Yeah. Bombing. Going all the way out there into a rap, a home, bombing, a Mexican joint.

On Thursday night. But it was still better than New York. Oh, yeah. No matter where you were. During the week in New York, it was like going to an audience of all comics. Yeah. And then on the weekends, New York Comedy Club, you had to bring six people to get six minutes. Yeah.

So I would tell my friends, listen, they would call me and go, can you get this Coke? And I go, now you get you Coke. And they go, right, where do you want us to meet you? And I go, at the comedy show. So I would make them pay the $10 to get in there. Like, what the fuck is this? We just wanted to cope. You know, listen, just pay the $10.

It's part of the deal. And I'd give him the fucking gram a blow, two grams of blow. And I'd fucking make them sit there. Whatever you had to do. Listen, when I won a contest, I figured out that if the first time I won on skill, like it was like a full-fledged six-month contest. Yeah. Beck's beer sponsored it.

It was at the broker joker. That was the name of the club. Yeah. It was the back room of the banquet hall. Wednesday night, the best buffet in town. Pick up lounge. The only buffet in town? Yeah, they had shrimp.

Wednesday night. I mean, this place was crazy on Wednesday night. It was kind of like I would go down there just to laugh. Yeah. Just to see like old guys, fucking like rich, filthy old guys. Like mine bottles of champagne. for women like it was just a joke in there it was just a joke but they did comedy on Tuesday nights yeah and it was it was like 15 bucks you got a steak really

see a comedian fucking great they would eat during when I was emceeing yeah so I was to house MC but to become the MC I had to win a contest the first time when you had to qualify so the first time I went up I won on skill believe it or not I stayed up for like two weeks of writing those fucking stupid jokes about Godzilla God knows what else. And then the second time, I just brought all the people I worked with at an office.

So just those 13 people laughing made me win that category. So I figured that out. So when I went to the quarterfinals, I had to go deep, deep, deep into the bag of death. In those days, I used to sell Valium. Yeah.

I was getting Valium from this fucking hillbilly and Longmouth, poor best. The last time I got, I'm just like 10,000 value. I said, I'll be back on an hour. He didn't see me for like a year. What happened to you, man? I was waiting for you.

I lost your address. It was before cell phones? How do you even carry 10,000 value? You have like 800 bottles? What are you talking? He would show up. This crazy fuck would show up. You know, like when you go to a,

when your kids to a gummy bear store, you ripped a bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would have, one of those bags double with a seal. And there were 10 milligram volume. I don't know what he gave him to me, or 50 cents. And if I took him to New York, there were three fucking dollars.

So I just took them to New York with me. I had those things for months. So people like those things. Cokeheads like those things. So you sold both Coke and Valium? So I would tell people, here's the deal. You want to buy Coke? Yeah.

All right. Come to the broker at 8 o'clock. But come on, man, I don't want to pay for a comedy show. What if I throw in a value? Throw in two. All right, you got it. So I'd make them sit down. So the night of the championship, I had 100 people there.

Yeah. And I wouldn't give them the Coke till after I got off stage. You know what I'm saying? Because it's not they leave. I needed them there. Yeah. That's how I want. Coke ads.

Yeah, they're not going to sit around. Oh, my God. I would torment them to debt. I tell them, yeah, it's in my pocket. I can't reach the camera. Come on, man. Give me this shit. Fuck you.

Yeah, because I started in Chicago. And the open mics there were good because they were regular audiences. Then when I went to New York, I was like, this is a fucking... Why Chicago? Because my parents were living there at the time. Okay. Because we were Chicago and Philadelphia. My parents were from Chicago.

My dad switched jobs. So they were in Chicago. So I moved out there. I dropped out of college. But anyway, so I was doing shows there. And I was like, oh, I'm pretty good. So then I moved to New York and I was like, holy shit, I couldn't get a fucking laugh. because I was performing for all comics, you know,

and they don't fucking laugh. Oh, my God. That's such a rough life. And then you want to, then you want to fucking kill yourself because you're like, you don't even know what to do. You can't get,

you can't get your hands on a regular audience, you know? Well, that's what they're like out here. Open mics out here. Yeah, at the same way. All. But I was like, I really,

I was like, I really fucked up. I should have never left Chicago. I should have stayed. But then if you stay somewhere too long, you get comfortable and then you never fucking leave. And then you end up marrying a fucking fat lady. And then, you're like, I should have left.

I should have moved to New York or L.A. or whatever. But that's whatever. I'm not against fat people, by the way, I'm just saying. I'm happy you came on, Kevin. You're a crazy motherfucker and you mean it. And that's why I like it by 10 kids, Irish Catholic. You got all the makings to be a fucking psycho. You could have been standing people.

So look, you do. Yeah, I kept it under control. My wife's a good wife. My wife's Hispanic. you know so she uh she she understands like uh she doesn't mind my personality uh defects you know what i mean no she's panamanian panama yes they're crazy but she don't mind like i i'm always like i'm they used to i'm always like why the fuck does she like just not pack up and go she don't have any money but other than that like why does she just fucking pack up and go like i don't get it because

i would if i i could i would leave myself i don't know i don't know i don't What's gonna do in Panama? I mean, she threatens to, but it's like, I'm just amazed because I'm not, I'm not, I think, you know, being from big family fucks you up and I'm doing, being in show business, fucked you up. So I try to like, you know, I try to like be a good dad, but I'm not a good husband, you know, but she, she like tolerates it, you know, I don't fucking cheat on her nothing, but like, I should be more nurturing. Like, I don't take her. She always wants me to take her out. And I'm like, I go out to the clubs. I want to fucking on my day off.

I don't want to fucking go out and sit there and fucking eat, go out to dinner and, you know, I'd go out to dinner and, and, like, I don't know. look at you how long have been one since 2005 or some shit but you women want to go out don't don't they yeah but she i don't want to take her to a club because that's my fucking job you know so i always feel bad i can't take her out but like i tried to and then i always fail you know i just don't want to go out i don't like going out sit at a new york you go to you go out to eat there's like there's like a fucking dude right next to you you don't get a you don't get any you don't get any space so it's annoying you're man i mean i'm not i don't know i don't know i have date night i try yeah and then what do you where you go out to a

nice restaurant yeah get a nice bottle of wine no nobody drinks here no no you just do you just whatever you do what you do shit yeah so i should do that but hopefully there's a tv at the fucking ball we're so you can watch the game so keep on the game you know yeah because i i another thing that's when you're married long and long and up there's really i mean it's like you you you don't you just run out of things to talk about you know and i should i shouldn't having podcast and you know my wife will go how is the podcast and then i'll talk about that she'll go how is the show and i'll talk about that so i'm like not a good husband like i almost don't give a fuck about like i should give like she's like you never ask me about me i'm like how's it going but i don't even get

i bet you know i hate to do a dice clay but i barely i barely like i'm trying i'm trying to be a better husband Have you considered counsel? No. No, we went to council. No, I know, but I don't know what they're going to say. What are they going to say? They're going to say, just take her out. So take her out.

I know. I'm going to when we go back. But we've been going out to the fucking, this is like a big vacation where, you know, she's in the beach. She's in the sun all day because she said she, if she doesn't get sun, she gets depressed. Sure. She's in Panama. Yeah, she's Panama.

So the winter was too long this winter. And so she's like, so she seemed happy today. when I left she seemed like she was a little like in a good mood it's close to the water mine's gonna come out that's what really what it is yeah if she gets they're saying

have you met Panama no good Chinese food really I heard there's I heard it's crawling with Chinese people tons tons of the Panamines they don't make their own food they're not known for that right no no they have a market like a Covecée market that is fucking phenomenal and you went there as a comic or you went there

I never went there I can let me in the country I got felonies he can't go into the country. How do you know where they have good Chinese food? Because I know about Panama. That's true though. That's true. Because my best friend is fuck. Don't make me call.

I call my fucking now. My best friend, my brother is from fucking, but it's true though because my wife says they got so, they got a lot of rich Chinese people there. A lot of rich Asian people there. They buy all the condos and they probably want a good

fucking Chinese meal. Yeah, no, no, no. I said they got tremendous Chinese food. Kevin Brennan, we're done. can I get my Twitter Kevin Brennan Yeah give them whatever you got Kevin Brennan 666

On the Instagram and Twitter Facebook I got it 666 what's the problem No I just I know Kevin Brennan was taken I'm like slow to all this Because I was done When I was in 2008

I basically quit It's 2007 2008 I was like I'm done But 666 was available Yeah 666 was available Kevin Brennan And then So I just took it as a joke

And then But now my podcast is like, you know, that people think it's like part of the whole branding where I'm like, I'm crazy. I talk a lot of crazy shit and like I got into a lot of fights. I out of respect for you. I'm not, I was not too combative. No, no, you're a nice guy. I'm too high. No, I know.

So I'm not going to get a fight with you. I'm too high. I don't want to interrupt the church. No, no. We love you. So. So. Anytime you're in the area, it would be a pleasure.

Kevin Brennan 666 on Instagram and Twitter. And I would like to build up my Twitter. Twitter a little bit. When I first started doing the like Opie and Norton stuff, my Twitter was like at 500. Now it's like at 15,000. So it'd be nice to get up to 30,000 and thank you. Just like that. Yeah. I don't know. Do I have to buy people? Do I have to buy fucking Asian bots? I'll do it. No, you got to fucking go on Twitter and talk to your people and tell them what's crack and lack it. Tell them what's going to. And then I get suspended. When I get when I open up, I get suspended. Anyways a pleasure. Thank you for having me. Thanks. Thanks. Shout out to. Shout to Esther Koo and Teamster Timmy for helping consolidate this happening. Timestead. I love Teamster Timmy. He's a good. He's good people.

He's solid. His brother's fucking solid. I grew up in that house. Timmy H. running the sea caucus. Anyway, thank you, Kevin. It's a plan. Christ killer. Hopefully next week, the bronchitis will be gone.

I got prescriptions. I hope so. I got an empty of my Alex. I do. I'm Oxacilin. He doesn't want to fucking... The generic, though. Are you having a reaction to the antibiotics?

I'm having a reaction to everything. He gets a reaction to cheeseburgs. Because he's got a little blotgy on his head. Oh, please. You ain't say nothing. That was whatever... We came in here two days ago. I'm sick as a dog.

He gives me two different kinds of animals. Like, the fact that I didn't take a bong here, I'm surprised he didn't throw the bong at my head. The edibles worked or no? Yeah, they do whatever they're supposed They do the edibles, though They do, they do work The CBD stopped them from coughing

I offered it to them again I don't think the CBD stops you from coughing He's a half a fagg He keeps in those discount cough drops CBS Yeah They were I use them I go for the discount

You gotta go for the Vicks The full blast for the truth No, they're too strong Give me one of those things They got nothing They're sugar pills No they're not The gooey center

How many fucking calories of these I don't know How many calories? You don't know how many calories You don't look at calories for cough drops. No, you just eat like 82. No, I mean, no, I don't eat 82. What do you happen is when you eat 82 fucking things of these?

I know you. They ride your teeth. I go for the sugarless ones. I had to sound like a half a fag, but I could suck sugarless cough drops. CBS brand too. And I like ranch dressing. Well, you got to knock it off. And once a while, eat some hummus.

No, that's just. I only, I waited until the end of the show, you tell you, so you don't kick me out. No, no, no, no. I, as long you don't bring it around. me and I never see you doing it. We're all right. I see you doing it in public then. You got to take a stand.

It's like taking a glove and just smacking me in the face. I'd rather you do that to eat the ranch dressing. Also, like I said in the beginning, if you're A5, A6 of you're a fat fuck like Uncle Joey, you're looking for a ghee. Fujisport.com slash church.

Like I said, whether it's the fucking purple one, whether it's the Seiko, whether it's a Superado or whether it's the element. All those geese I got and they're fucking tremendous. I'm a big guy. People tugging on me in the close guard tugging on me, tugging on me. Nothing. No rips, no nothing.

I had a ghee I got before from Pro. Some guy went to fucking pull me over and he ripped my fucking ghee. Fuji, you could fucking pull that thing. Solid. And if you're a big guy, you feel comfortable. Go to Fuji Sports.com right now and press in. Church. Bam.

You get 10% off the liver to your motherfucking house. All right. And that's it and that's that. I love you guys. I'll see you Sunday. Tithop Magoo, ready to go. Next Thursday, it's all that's left in Columbus. So get your shit together.

Columbus funny bone will be doing fucking bada-bing. The whole fucking thing. We're doing everything next week. And if Lee don't get healed, then he can't come to Columbus because we're going to give him two cushy bears a day for 420 weeks. You go into Columbus, too? I think it depends on if I'm doing better, but two cushy punch for breakfast? What do they have for breakfast in Columbus?

Can I get something good? No, two eggs on the side up with bacon and a fucking toast. He'll take me somewhere. Give me all those animals. And then he's like, you got to order the salad and no Diet Coke and no bread. And you give me all those edibles and you're trying to make me eat good. But then, then at the end of the meal, I'll order a milkshake and say, I have to order a milkshake. That's the one time we went.

We got high on the fucking... That's the only time I remember. I like that milk shaking. That's it. Yeah, because I'm a genius. You would go to this fucking Denny's and get shot. You know what I'm saying? This place in Lancashire, you got to be shaky over that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are missing ice and shit, man. Anyway, Fuji Sports.com. Get 10% off. Again, I want to give Kevin Brennan the thank you to flying Jew and you people for supporting us. Stay black and my girl Kichi's sitting there throwing heat as usual.

Black, have a great weekend. Love you. Kick that mule. Lee.