The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #581 - Billy Corben

Episode Date: May 2, 2018

Billy Corben, director of documentary films such as: Cocaine Cowboys, The U, and Broke, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first THREE meals for free.  FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.  

Greetings from Podcastville. The church of what's happening now is brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient in recipe delivery service in the country. Their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everybody. Lee, last time you got Blue Apron. How solid was it? Oh, delicious. Philly cheese steaks, right, with potato wedges or something?

Filling cheese sticks with potato wedges. It had a sweet chili stir fry. And then the week before was my favorite because I've always wanted to learn how to make fried chicken. I made pan-fried chicken. I had zucchini and peppers. And the cool stuff is that they leave all the recipes online so you can make it anytime you want. It's great. No, no, that's a great deal. Listen, for six weeks from April 16th through May 21st, Blue Apron is teaming up with Airbnb to bring you the best home cooking from around the world. Each week, our menu will feature recipe develop and collaboration with Airbnb experienced host chef CC, a chef from Shanghai who makes

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You can fly through the air in seven days. Kick that fucking Mulee. Oh shit. Oh shit It's fucking Wednesday Slinging dick And giving out pickles You know what I'm saying

Here we go I'm headed to Arizona Like a fucking football team When they won Martin Luther King Day Here we go Just when you thought it was safe A little fucking Chris Cornell To take you back

Are you fucking nuts or what Here we go There you go You bad motherfuck Because it's Wednesday It's a beautiful day to be alive My main man is here well my main man billy corbin's here my little brother the christ killer but today i got two

christ killers in the studio i love it i fucking love it talk to me billy corbin i can't believe i'm actually here i've only ever done this on the on the phone yeah this is well but i and and this is like food porn i think my diet is going to be me calling you up on the phone and you just reading the blue apron menu to me because i feel i feel nourished you're fucking star it's delicious delicious yeah it's like food What's like a Scorsese movie? With the food, you see the food? You're like, I'm hungry. Look at this shit.

Roast pork with salsa verde, with sauteed vegetables. Stop it. Stop it. I'm hungry. Beef and rice bowl with soft, boiled eggs and roasted broccoli. No, slower, slower. Do it slower. Read it slower.

Look at this. Beef empanadas with roasted sweet potatoes and creamy zucchini. What are you fucking crazy? Sexy son of a bitch. Is that Hotel California? Is that an original LP? Original P. You know, they, Don Henley.

Yes. Glenn Fry wrote the lyrics in Miami Beach. To Hotel California. To Hotel California wrote the lyrics in Miami Beach. 5242 North Bay Road was a mansion they rented. This was a pretty popular place. Stephen Stills had rented it before them used to hang out doing drugs with Shell Silverstein in Miami Beach. Crazy scene.

Before that, the Watergate Burglars and Howard Hunt had rented it. Before that, it was like a love net. for Howard Hughes and Ava Gardner back in the day. But, you know, flash forward and they're, they literally for three days, Don Henley and Glenn Fry closed themselves in like an upstairs bedroom in this, in this cool, creepy, old school, Miami Beach Mansion. And just the housekeeper would leave sandwiches and beverages at the door. Nobody saw these guys for three days.

And they come downstairs. I think Don Henley had like a, like a white Terry cloth robe. Glenn Frye was in like red pajamas or so they had just they like they just hold up there and like hermits and they came down with a legal pad and they said to these two young girls these these cool like hippie chicks who got in the business of renting houses to rock stars who were in town doing music at like criteria studios it turned into a big uh recording recorded music scene down there and because we had the best drugs and it was away from the the prying eyes and ears of the record labels and you know so these guys come down they have

this legal pad and they say, we just wrote the greatest song we've ever written. And they sat there, these two girls and Don Henley and Glenn Frye and read them line by line kind of a cappella went through the lyrics for the first time ever to Hotel California. And they were very proud of how smart they are and how great the lyric, you know, and they like explicated it like what every line meant and what every metaphor was. and they just sat there watching this and said, holy shit, that's going to be a great, a great song. And it was Hotel California, which was lyrics written in Miami and recorded and mastered in part

at Criteria Studios in North Miami, Florida, where to this day they got the upright, wooden piano that the Layla piano solo, the famous Layla piano solo was recorded on. There's a great story about Stephen Stills playing it. He had like a baggie of cocaine on top of it, and he was playing the piano. And the baggie fell over, open, poof, on the keys, you know, kind of exploded on the keys. And the engineers would go in with straws and wedge the straws between the keys for months later, you know, snorting of God knows what, dust, cocaine, who the hell knows? And this is where the magic happened. I mean, it was cool in those days because, because the, I mean, you'd go to criteria and the BGs would be playing basketball against Crosby Stills, Nash,

and then the other studio was Aerosmith or Fleetwood Mac working on rumors. Is that where they worked on rumors? They did rumors there in part Jimmy Buffett did you know changes in latitudes changes in attitudes there Margaritaville all there. He was tired of the country music scene in Nashville. As producer said, why don't you sail your sailboat to dinner key marina and coconut grove more there

live there which is also where David Crosby and more to sailboat and come to Criterion that's where he created he created the sound he became famous for that kind of Caribbean rock sound. He did that at criteria. The Eagles, the Beegey's never left. 461 Ocean, the, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Clapton album.

He came, um, rented that house. The album, he named the album after the house that he rented in Golden Beach, 461 ocean. The cover is him standing in front of this house. He'd gotten out of rehab. Great place to go when you're out of rehab. Miami, obviously, in the 70s, right? But he records this album and he called up. He had, I think he shared a manager with,

the Bee Gees and he called him up and they're like, you got to come to Miami, man. And the Beegis came with their wives and their kids. They stayed at 461 Ocean after Clapton Dead and the Beegeys never left. They bought three mansions right next to each other. That the two girls who rented the Eagles, the house in Miami Beach. They became realtors and found

the BG's three houses next to each other in Miami Beach and the Beegees opened a studio called Middle Ear. They were Tolkien fans like Middle Earth. Middle Ear Studios. It's now an enterprise rental car back in Sunset Harbor Miami Beach. The Eagles opened a studio, Bayshore Studio, down in Coconut Grove.

And it just was this cool, this cool scene, but criteria, which is still there. It's the hit factory now. A lot of magic. Aretha Franklin did respect, R.E.S.P.C.T.

James Brown recorded, I feel good. He recorded there. So it started out like a lot of R&B and soul and jazz and stuff and then evolved into a rock scene. I mean, what they would do is,

so there was no, you had no record labels anywhere near there. You know, they were all out in L.A. here in New York. And so you had guys and they would sit, criteria would just send the bill right to the studio, to the label rather and say, you know, just send us the fucking check, you know.

And they would get calls from like the accounting people, the record label, they'd be like, hey, listen, I want to ask you about this because they would bill for cocaine under the line item piano tuning. That's how they would. So they would try to pass the expense of the blow onto the record label.

So the record label would get the bill from the studio and be like, hey, listen, we're trying to figure out, we got a bill here $5,000 for piano tuning, and there's only one ballad on the album. What's with all this? What's with all the piano tuning? There's one big rock band who came back years later, recorded there in the 80s, came back later in the 90s, and the studio

manager, his mom actually was a studio manager before him, and he said to the lead singer, I mean, this is a big, big band, Big front man. He says, hey, I don't know if you remember you were here in the 80s and I was this little kid running around. My mom ran the studio and now I'm in charge. It's great to see you again. The guy says to him, I don't remember a goddamn thing about what happened here in the 1980s. He said, I have one memory about my experience here recording in the 80s. And I only remember it in part because people reminded me later about it. He said, apparently we were here recording one night. We wrapped up in someone's. said you got to come to this lady's house they went to this like earthy hippie ladies house in north miami and he said we sat down on her couch she came out and put down on the coffee table a kilo of cocaine an entire kilo of cocaine she cut it open he says all i remember is the smell of an entire kilo of pure you know like 99 hundred percent pure columbian cocaine goes that's

my only memory of Miami in the 1980s is that's that's my only memory of Miami in the 1980s is that smell I'm still upset that Shell Silverstein was doing coke I don't know my child actually I don't know if he was doing coke but he was hanging out at that house poolside what a weird scene though right he's a poet what like that's all I know from him from a kill like a five-year-old yeah these his ma'am was a yeah but read that shit you had to be a little fucked up to write to write the shit that Shel Silverstein was writing am I wrong I mean come on now no you know before the podcast started we were talking I said to you

when are you going to run for fucking man? And you looked at me, I'll never be, man. I got a family. No, no, you don't understand. You love the city of Miami. Just you even knowing this shit proves it even more, strengthens my case, that you know everything about Miami. I think that's, I don't know,

I think it's important to be proud of where you come from it. I think it's important to rep something. Because then if you don't, if you rep nothing, then nothing reps you. You know what I mean? But no, no, no, but here's your beauty. You show us the beauty from time to time. You always show us the ugly shit.

Like a dog, a guy in bed with a dog, giving the dog a fucking hand job. Where did this happen? What part of Florida? Miami had to be Miami. And here's the equally twisted thing about it or the almost as twisted thing about it is that it's this guy in Miami.

So apparently he's got like surveillance cameras or something in his home. And he was going through the footage for some reason and sees his roommate lying on the bed basically sexually molesting his dog and turns the footage over to the police. I mean, the whole thing is, the whole thing's weird. Like, this house is all wired up, you know,

and he's watching his roommate. I don't know. I don't know what to say about it. Ever since I got to L.A., one thing that I noticed was Florida in general has a terrible reputation. Like, I grew up going to Disney World. It was like my favorite place on Earth.

We'd go every winter. My dad lives in Boyden Beach. He loved, like, it's been, my entire life, his dream has been to move to Florida. As soon as I move out here, everyone, everyone, like, looks at Florida like you're talking about going to jail or something. Like, I don't, like, why, like, why do you have that? If you follow Billy's Twitter, you think you will go to jail. If you follow Billy, this day is I look at it.

And I go, Jesus Christ. I mean, it never ends. And it's like the craziest shit. The one a couple of weeks ago, but the cop being this wife, him twice and still being on the job. Something fucking just that you look at and go, that can only happen in Jersey.

Or in fucking, half of my hometown is mad at me because I posted a corruption thing. They got busted last week. Why are they mad at you about that? Because I put it on it, and it was hysterical. My buddy post. It posted it first who's an ex-cop and it didn't even have a fucking bird on it like usually you have three likes like when I caught it it was at midnight and he had posted like a four in the afternoon

Like nobody even like my hometown is so semi-communistic that nobody had an opinion how and then I put it on my page I said, oh, shit on his. I put it on my page. So what you're saying is there's one comment on his page. Here's the truth of the matter. I was on the podcast with TJ and we were talking about the corruption in Hudson County.

I even got a call from the mayor of the city, Brian Stan, that he liked me because I told the truth. At least I'm not making this shit up. But that's what I'm saying. Like, why are people upset at you for telling the truth? Because I didn't say that what happened was, And that same day, Ellen donated $50,000 to my grammar school. So I put the Ellen thing up first.

I saw that one. And then I put up the one about my corruption. And like the same tune. Like it was like something good happened in my hometown today and something bad happened. It just seems that what happened was I grew up with a great family in town that I'm still dear friends with. And who I posted the story about was their alleged.

family member like a brother-in-law and her. So she contacted me and said, how could you post that up? You know, I took the truth. I go, I didn't think about it that way. I didn't even know who the fuck. I've been gone for 35 years. I don't know nobody's name. I don't know who these people are. I have no fucking idea. It's a news story, too.

It's a new story, yeah. Well, I mean, do you ever get stuff like that, Billy? I mean, it's... Jesus, do I ever? I mean, I hear from mayors, I hear from gubernatorial candidates. I hear from certainly police officers and PIOs and police chiefs and assistant chiefs and what have you. What do they say to you? You know, I think a lot of people when they think about it, I think it's mostly when they think

I'm being unfair about something. For the most part, I think people who have a brain or half a brain understand. You know, they understand that it's important to aggregate this kind of news. I have a little platform in my community and my billy pulpit, as I like to call it. And, you know, they, it's important to be able to inform people about what's going on. And, and yeah, it's definitely a warts and all approach. You know, it's definitely a, you know, we only roast the ones we love kind of thing. And Miami, Florida in general, it rarely shocks me, but it regularly disappoints me.

And I've always been determined. I'm a Florida native. I'm a lifelong Miami. And I've always dreamed of leaving behind a better Florida. than the one I was born into. That dream is swiftly dying, you know, along with my soul. But like I still, there's an I, you know,

as much of a pessimist as I might appear to be on social media and whatever. And in real life, there's still an idealist, you know, inside of me that says, well, shit, if there's something I can do or say or tweet or whatever that will help maybe move the needle a little bit in a positive direction. If only by informing people of the Florida fuckery that persists, that has become a genre into itself in journalism and entertainment and comedy,

I think it's important. I think it's important to shine a light on your flaws. It's the only way you're ever going to make anything better is by saying this is what's identifying, this is what's wrong with it. Now, if I didn't give a shit, why would I bother?

You know, I wouldn't, I'd just go and do my thing. I'd make more money if I just shut the fuck up. I can go work for these politicians. They could pay me to run campaigns or pay me to, you know, to do ads or whatever. But I got a conscience. I got to look myself in the mirror. I got to live with myself. I got to say, I got to tell the truth as I see it.

I got to speak truth to power. And I, you know, it's not that I don't give a shit. It's that I give, I might give too many shits. You know, I just, I care a lot about it. And I care a lot about the people. And I care a lot about the idea that, you know, Miami is a shared experience where we have self-segregated ourselves. You know, we've got 34 municipalities in Miami-Dade County.

That means 34 different mayors, 34 different city halls, 34 different police departments almost. I mean, everybody's got their own little fiefdom, and we kind of gerrymandered ourselves and segregated ourselves by race, by religion, by nationality. And it's kind of tragic because, you know, if you live in, you know, Aventura, you don't give a shit about Miami Gardens.

And if you live in Miami Gardens, you don't give a shit about Homestead. And if you live in Homestead, you don't give a shit about Sweetwater. Sweetwater doesn't give a shit about Hyaliyah. And Hyaliyah doesn't give a shit about Coconut Grove. And so, you know, Miami isn't a shared experience anymore. It's become, you know, I say that's, you know, everybody's so selfish in Miami.

That's why they call it Miami. It's my fucking Emmy. It's not our Emmy or your Emmy. It's my fucking Emmy, you know. And I don't like that. I was hoping that we've got a generation of, because, you know, people, nobody's ever born in Miami, you know, like everybody's like, you can be in Miami for 40, 50, 60 years. You say to someone where you're from? They go, Jersey, Philly, Chicago.

Everybody's from someplace else. but now we have a generation of people who were born there and who have roots there. You know, you've got third or fourth generation Cubans and Haitians and people who were born in hospitals in Miami, in Miami, in Miami and Kendall and Baptist. And you want to inspire a generation to say, I got roots here now. This matters to me, you know, as a lot of our parents and grandparents, not that it didn't matter to them, but it was almost more of a vacation spot. You know, they weren't going to be there.

Yeah, they weren't really from there. Yeah, so I don't know. It just, I, I, I, I care a lot. I probably care too much. I wish sometimes, you know, I wish I could, I could care a lot less. It's just crazy that you post a lot of stuff, and it's mainly just corruption. I mean, the stuff you put, yeah, you post a lot of, you got enough of that to go around. A cop shooting somebody off duty, but basically you do 70% of your action is a cop who had a mistress, a cop would live and blow, you know.

I mean, it's always something that people never expect. Listen, when I was 17 years old, I found myself in this weird situation. I lived with this family after my mom died, and I befriended a cop, and he was just young, but it was still 1981, and cocaine was starting to fucking come in. And he had a cousin who sold coke,

and as soon as he became a cop, him and his cousin couldn't be tight anymore. So I became the go-between. He would give him money to deal. daytime and midnight when he got on the shift he'd come over to the house and i'd give him the coke and at least he could do his midnight the eight shift cooked up you know and that's okay it's a tough shift i didn't look at him as a cop i looked at him as a guy grew up with as a brother sure and then you know it started him going why are you going back in now here i'm a junior in high school and he's like getting the call come on

let's go for a ride and we started going to get an eight pack of a six pack of cores nips there were six-ounce cans and you need to get eight or six of them I can't remember right now in northern New Jersey and until 1.30 we'd drive around and have four beers a piece and do four or five lines of cuffs and he dropped me on. This went on for about a month and a half and then it got to the point where we'd get two eight packs of beer and we each had an eight-packed and a little bottle of blackberry brandy and we'd sit on this ledge on bergen-lane avenue and watch people speed and guess what they were doing and the speed would come up on the thing.

Even if there was speed and he wouldn't chase him. Like what's he doing? 55, 52, you lost, do a line. Like, it was that type relationship. Then I got to a point after a month of that that other cops would meet us. And I still remember passing the Coke mirror to the car next to me.

And it's these two guys in uniforms. That's a scene in a fucking movie. But I saw that. I saw that. If I tell that story to five to ten people, five times and they question the bathroom for those rooms ago the lot the stories a lie because they've never seen it and that's what you do you expose something that people don't see and guess what they never want to see because

their heads explode and I have no dog in this fight but what I like about what Billy does because a lot of people now with any any online platform they can tweet whatever they want Facebook whatever they want and have nothing to back it up a lot of times you tweet links to our No, no, no, this is what I'm saying. You really... You got to bring receipts. You know, I look at the shit sometimes and I go, Jesus Christ.

But some of it is hilarious. You know, crack mother who sold the two kids. The other day you posted a woman, a picture of a woman. She got to be the ugliest woman in America. She got hit with a stick 82 times in the face. And she did something. She did like something. Like she was up for eight days in the row or something.

There was that woman that was caught with cocaine, a bag of cocaine or a person. She told the cops that she was driving with the windows open. It was a windy day. So the wind must have blown it. The bag of your coat into her purse. And that, because that's not mine. That shit ain't mine.

And she didn't get away with that. They arrested her anyway for cocaine possession. That was a pretty popular crazy Florida story that week. But, you know, these days it seems like irony is dead, you know, because we have a, you know, we have a gangster president. Like, and so it's, and that's not supposed to be how that works. know, in the real world. And it's the same thing here. It's like that irony is not really dead in Florida because you have all these things that

are like this public corruption, this backwards. I think the Florida of today is the America of tomorrow. And so if you want to know what challenges will face or calamities will befall us as a nation in the years to come, you need only look at the shit going on in Florida, specifically South Florida. It's just America's Canary in the coal mine. It's just like the bellwether. You look at the trends in crows.

crime in politics, in demographics, in economics, it all starts in some way or or evolves in some way in Florida or Miami. I mean, you name it and there is that Florida connection or that Miami connection. And, you know, and then we export this fuckery, you know, nationwide. It is our greatest contribution. There's no indigenous industry in Florida. We, you know, we produce nothing but oranges and and assault weapons. That's what we manufacture or produce in Florida. And the other thing we produce is is fuckery and fraud and and we're like a sunshine state. We have an, you know, we sell the sunshine. We sell a Florida dream. We sell lies that came true because everything there started is a, you know, a land fraud, you know, a land grab by swamp land, $20, $20 down,

$20 a month till you're ready to retire and build your dream home. And you go, what the fuck can I build a dream home. I'm in the middle of the swamp here. Not to mention hurricanes. My dad lives there, so I was a little nervous for him. I don't know if Miami was in the path of this last one. But how do you stay there when that happens once every three, four years? Oh, yeah, you know, it'd be

better if we're just sitting around here with our thumbs up, our asses and a fucking earthquake all of a sudden. We're stupid, too. This is scary as shit out here. And you guys, you build your houses on the edge of a fucking hill with sticks going to be, I wouldn't how do you sleep at night, knowing that the ground will just someday just disappear from underneath you.

That's fucking crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's an earthquake, a tough earthquake. They're going to be rolled in those houses. Mud slides. You've got to be carried out of the fun. And there's no, listen, we get hurricane watches, we have hurricane warnings, we have mandatory evacuations.

What happens when our earthquake kits? You got an app now, seven seconds. You got seven seconds. You got six. You got to kiss her ask about. You got just enough time to smoke a bowl and call it a day. No, you don't smoke a bowl. You grab the weed.

You grab the weed. the weed in the pipe you got seven seconds to grab the weed is it really an app i didn't know that there's some app i just some you know i watched that fucking that fucking do it on the news the half a fact my witness news comes on there once a week with new technological reports and shit you got the app no i don't know i don't know how to download an app i'm my wife puff a smoke and a and a joey-shaped hole in the door he's out of here no i can't fucking know how to download a fucking app but i get I should get it and fucking as soon as you get that little alert you get the weed the keys to your car and you pop that gate open So if it locks in you know it's stuck in here just pop it so you hear the tremble pop that motherfucker

I never even thought about that. Yeah parking the ground this is what I do I'm saying this what I do I don't know let me let's talk about this town for me because this town makes me sad Like I you know I always say like it's the you know the you know tears come out of the faucets and and like and like like broken hearts power the grid. You know, like, it's a, this, this is a town like of just sheer heartbreak. And it makes me profoundly sad whenever I, I come here for some reason. I don't know. Like, like, you know, today I was downtown and I saw a bus come by.

There was this ad, you know, on the side of the bus. This great big ad. Beautiful woman. Beautiful woman. Redhead and just all done up. Just looked stunning. And it was her name and insurance. It's her insurance company.

It's an ad for her with the number on the side. And I thought to myself, was that her dream when she moved out to Hollywood? Was that her dream to be on the side of a looking stunning on the side of a bus for her insurance? Because she'd say, I'm going to pack up my bags and head out west and fulfill my lifelong childhood dream of getting in the insurance business.

I don't know. Like, I feel like everywhere I look is like broken dreams and broken hearts. And it make, I don't know, it's, it's all about personalhoods. because I remember driving here. I drove here twice. And as soon as you see the palm trees,

as soon as you come into California the first time as a 22-year-old out of college, I was just like, paradise. This is where my dreams are going to come true. This is, I don't care about the beach. How's it going?

I mean, but, no, I'm very lucky compared to a lot of people out here who are servers and working in insurance. But it's been, when I first moved here, people would always tease me

that I still had a soul. like when I was 22 and all the people who were 30. And now that I'm almost 30. How about now? How's your soul? You got a soul cycle? It's kind of like what Joey was talking about. You just kind of, you've seen it and you're not surprised anymore, but it still kind of hurts your feelings when things happen.

And the shine kind of wears off. You're like, I could just move to somewhere else and do this if I wanted to. Like right now I'm not going to, but it's not the land of milk and honey like they make it seem. But I'm driving down, I would say Biscayne Boulevard, that's Miami, driving up Sunset Boulevard, past the store, and whose name's on top of the fucking bill? Papa tonight. Yeah, I mean, God bless you.

I mean, like, you're in the 1% baby. Like, I mean, seriously, the people who come here and go, someday my name's going to be going to be atop the marquee, atop the list, you know, at the comedy store. I mean, it's amazing. You got to remember one thing. When I came here, I didn't come here with that dream. I came here from the feedback I had gotten from other comedians.

I did not come here with that dream. I came out here with a dream to survive. You know what? I got the opportunity to move down there. CBS is paying for a pilot. Let me take a look. I know I don't belong there. I'm not going to have a book anything or anything.

If I get an extra job, I'll be lucky. But let me go check it out. If it isn't what it isn't, I pack my bag as I go back to Boulder. And I start from scratch. But what do I got to lose? You know what I'm saying? Like it was always one of those deals. It wasn't, when she made me a regular at the store, there was hope, but nobody was biting.

Nobody was biting. Nobody was really biting. Nobody really bit until, like, Adam Sandler, mad TV. Then people bite a little, but nothing to stand up. And it's so weird, a dear friend of mine called me Thursday. She goes, do you have a minute? I grew up at this girl. She goes, can you talk to me about SAG?

and non-union how it works. And I go, what do you want to know? She goes, oh, my neighbor, book the show. And I go, here's the deal. You have to book one show, union, and then you're eligible. That means when you get the second one, sag before you even celebrate. When the, as soon as the phone rings from your age and goes, hi, you just, you booked it. Oh, my God, congratulations.

It's going to be great. You shoot on Wednesday and Thursday. You don't even hang up the phone. two minutes and the phone ring, Bling, hi. This is Mildred from SAG. I have your paperwork in front of me. Always Mildred from SAG.

Can I make it, what time can you come in tomorrow? And you're like, come in? What are you talking about coming? Like, what time can you come in tomorrow for your pre-screening meeting? Got to check your Thetons. And you're like, 1130. And they're like, okay, make sure you have a check. And you're like, excuse me?

Check. And they're like, yeah, SAG is $2,500. There is financing available. You're from Jersey. You know about the unions. But no, when I first got here, it was 1250. Oh, shit. When I got here, in 1998, it was 1250 to join.

I did not have the money. The agent talked to the production company. They put it up for you? Matt and the other guy, you know. Fucking, not the Simpsons, you know, basketball. Oh, Trey. Yeah, Trey Parker, Matt Stone. No shit, that's awesome.

Because my agent put them together. Those guys are awesome. But I don't know nothing about, like, I told that. I said it's 2,500 does she really want to do this? And she goes, why? Because you could just work on union now. Right now, the money's in non-union in this town.

There's no money in SAG. You book a Netflix show. You don't get residuals. Right. You get a buyout. You don't get a buyout. You don't get no residual. Work for hire.

Yeah, they don't know. And Netflix, I found out, doesn't tell you it shows numbers. Oh, no. No, it's brilliant. And it's funny. They hide it from you. You can't renegotiate. It is.

It is. I think it's amazing because I will tell you, I'm sorry, the State Department can't keep a secret. There are leaks from the White House, from the NSA, from the CIA, from the FBI. You never hear, there is never a leak out of Netflix. It is rock solid. You never hear even the faintest trace of ratings or numbers or viewership. Do you have any documentaries on? Oh, yeah. All of them have been on there or are on there. You know, they come and go sometimes. I don't know exactly how all the licensing deals work. But we have. tons of shit on there and you never know and it's kind of amazing because what they do is I think really clever I mean it's obviously a brilliant business that's why they have a hundred million subscribers 125 I mean incredible incredible I you know million million million million 10 bucks a month for 125 million people it's amazing it's amazing and they're spending billions of dollars on content which is important for people like us you know you know it helps keep us in business um but like you know what they do is pretty clever because you know they're about to let's say debut a season

of a show. You got 10 episodes, right? 10 hours they want you to dedicate of your life to binging this shit, you know, right, you know, and so they do something brilliant. Usually, the week of the premiere of a season, like the days leading up to it, you know, them flicking the

switch and it's going to be online in 60, 70 countries, they announced that it's been picked up for another season. Meaning it signals to the audience that if you invest your time, there'll be another, you know, another series, another season at the end of, you know, at the end of the tunnel here next year or whatever.

And it also gets the talent less concerned about the ratings. Because the only thing you care about in ratings is, are we going to get another season? Are we going to work again? Are we going to get picked up? So if you know you're getting picked up before the season even premieres, then you don't, you don't even ask questions because that's all you, the only thing you matter, the only thing matters with ratings is you get to, you know, I always say the measure of a successful filmmaker is not ratings, it's not awards, it's not money or box office.

it's do you get to work again? And if you get to work again in this business, you are a success. It really is. That's it. That you broke it down. You are a success. Because listen, some people make good movies, some people make bad movies,

but there's a market for bad movies. People love to see bad movies. How about the fucking people who make bad movies and they keep giving them to them? And you sit there at home going, how did this fucking guy get another movie? Because there's an audience. God bless them.

I don't knock another person's hustle. You know, we've all got our, you know, our business and some people like what we do. Some people don't like what we do. But if there's an audience for it, you know, you'll hopefully get a chance to do it again. And that's all that matters. We were talking about what do you do when you get there?

Billy wants to be a director. Boom, he becomes a director. He direct, kind of calling Cowboys. Now you're there. Yeah. Now you know what you got to do. Now everybody's watching for the second one. You got to keep doing it.

No, but it's true. You got to keep doing. Now everybody's waiting for the second one. That's why the second album in music is so important. Yeah, that's why and we made it and we made a shitty sequel I guess it was very successful though that's why that's why it's saved out the second out got to be a motherfucker you've been working on the first one all your life yeah that first project you've been working on all your life so it's years and years and years and years absolutely so now I put pressure on you to do what you did the seven years

to do it in two years that's what people don't really fucking know you know you know and what you're left with you let you put it all on that you put it all out there on the first one now you got fucking b sides from the first one and now you're trying to get inspired and you're a totally different person in a totally different station in life you got you know i always say i i call it spotlight syndrome you know i believe that you know people always say why are like you know child actors end up so screwed up or people you know what's with conya you know etc you know what's what's with what's with what's with kim's husband uh you know so i i call it spotlights i believe that um or Superman syndrome really is what it is.

Spotlight syndrome is when you become not famous anymore. Superman syndrome is, you know, you're told how great you are at something. Happens to athletes, you know, who eventually go broke or movie stars or music artists. You get told your whole life how brilliant you are and how great you are and, you know, people telling you yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And, you know, there's a saying, you know, they're saying it's a theory with alcoholics or drug addicts that you are emotionally stunted. your development, your emotional development is stunted at the age you start using. I believe the same thing is true for famous people, like really famous people. So you wonder why famous people, people who become really famous, really young, when you stop hearing

no, you know, when people stop telling you the truth about shit, when people are just around you to, you know, to kind of leach on and ride your, you know, your wave of success, you're not going to be able to kind of develop as a normal person at that point. And it's the same thing, you're right, but like the second album, it's like, well, wait, now we're famous, now we're rich, now everybody says we're geniuses. What the, do we do now? And I think a lot of people go mad.

A lot of people go crazy. I was here for the video boom in 2004, 2003. They spent $2 million on a video. Where people were YouTube. Like everybody said YouTube, YouTube. And everybody was making these videos. And you'd get a video. did, you know, 500,000

and three days, you're like, okay, and people are now waiting for your second one. I told Lee that I can't tell you how many college kids come out here, super confused. They've gone to college, and whatever frat they belong to, they watch Saturday Live on a Saturday instead of going on and getting pussy.

They sit there like eight fucking idiots, and they giggle at that fucking horror show, which is comedy, which is supposed to be American comedy, it's just garbage. And they come out here with a credit card from dad and they joined I saw the building last night

for the citizen citizen the brigade whatever on sunset yeah they have two of them in L.A. now 10,000 a fucking month to rent there how do you keep the lights on? Sucker soup Suckers come in there and think you could train your way to comedy

or take imprime I mean they've been doing it for years I want to be on the same a lot of you're saying like why are you here going to Chicago stupid you know what I'm saying like they just don't get it like I'm like when they come out here and they join they go through that whole system and they buy into it they buy into what those people say listen I did I did six weeks of an acting class and I worked with a famous actor

and he goes quit acting class you have great instincts done James Colbert told me stop going to acting class you got great instincts don't let them ruin your instincts kid though just ruin them yeah you know that's it doesn't it I bought the steam for a while but then I moved away from it. When we were talking about fame, the thing I hate about fame is the Kardashians are fucked up. You know, if you want to talk about selling your soul, one thing I've been here is 20 years, I've never sold my soul. I can look you in the eye as a man, as a Jewish man, as a man of faith. You're a Jewish man? Part-time. Whenever it serves me right. You're in Juven. Oh yeah, I start dancing. The whole thing, I eat the white fish. I tell them how good

it tastes. This is phenomenal. I love that bread. You know what I'm saying? You're showing you by the Barbara Streisand-Canson and sit in the first row. That's a Jew, you know what I'm saying? You want to get a developmental deal? Go to Brabis-Ris-Hir-Han and sit amongst the Jews. Excuse me. How you doing? All right, both for me.

Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Who are you? Don't worry about who am I. The question is who are you and how we're going to work this? You want to sell a movie. Go to go to Barber Streisand-Cancin at the Hollywood Bowl. What?

Easiest, one of the world is up. One of her 18th farewell tour. Yeah. Easyest fucking thing. You want to be known in this town? You're wasting your time with acting class. Spend the 3G and sit up in front with all the richest Jews in Hollywood Because they can't do who's that?

Who's that? I've never seen him in a world. Barraising shows. He's better seats than us. Back in the day, it was AA or Narcanon. Yeah. That's where the deals were getting done. Now they're getting done at Barba Streisand concert.

You know a Barbara Streisand concert with a headshot? You're coming home with a fucking three-picture deal, a fucking eight-series order. Nobody knows this shit. There's someone right now listening who's going to go to a Barbara Streis and countries and no way. But he's going to go in Idaho. That's where you fucked up.

There's no Jews in Idaho. You got to go to the Hollywood Bowl or the forum or whatever they just redid. And just make, just walking like, oh my God, I'm so confused. Where do I sit? Who's this fucking Gentile motherfucker? I don't worry about it. Well, speaking of Netflix, I mean, I've always loved documentaries, Billy. I don't know.

I just always found them very interesting. But has Netflix really made them explode? because like I'll be on Netflix just scrolling through and I'll see I'll just scroll through the documentaries and see what looks good like I didn't really think documentaries had that big of a platform before everything on Netflix makes it more accessible and then helps to I think enlarge the audience for it I mean that you know and when we first made cocaine cowboys you know it was interesting we started to discover a market for a nonfiction film amongst a demographic that was not traditionally thought of by documentary filmmakers and distributors as the normal, you know, it was a audience for documentary. So it was younger. It was more urban. You know, there was a big hip-hop contingent that embraced cocaine cowboys and really helped blow it up in the bootleg market and by name-checking, name-checking it in lyrics and songs. And, you know, and our discovery was that talking with artists, with hip-hop artists, they were like,

like, well, of course we love documentaries. We're all about keeping it real. You know, what is, what is, you know, a public enemy used to call, they used to call rap music CNN for black people. It's what Chuck D said, you know. And so rap music is all about keeping it real. Some of the best rap songs are documentaries, you know,

our true stories, you know, that rhyme and are set to a beat. And so what was incredible about that is that we were credited in part for introducing a kind of a different audience to nonfiction film. And then from there, I mean, in the last 10 years, 12 years since cocaine cowboys came out, everything has gone nonfiction. You know, I mean, everything. You got doc mini series. You got them on fucking billboards out here on Sunset Boulevard. You never saw a documentary series or a nonfiction series, you know, being advertised in that way before. But the whole thing blew up.

And I think Netflix and the streaming service has been extremely. influential in that and all the streaming services you have hulu now you have amazon every that competition uh helps generate more work and and more revenue in the marketplace and and people can just sit down and with their phones or the laptops or whatever on apple TVs and go what's on i can watch anything i want you know it's like people talk about the music all the music recorded music business is dead but now more people than ever are listening to more music than they'd ever have in their lives. I mean, you got a stack of LPs over here. This used to be how you'd listen to music, you know, other than the, other than the radio. Now you go to Spotify, you can listen to all the

music, you know, all the music you want all day long. It's the same thing with movies now. You have access to shit you'd never be able to see. And that's when the niche stuff starts to catch on. And people realize, oh, there's an audience for all this stuff that, you know, that we never really knew about before because no one really, no one, no one really could get it before. Now you can get documentaries everywhere. And people realize, oh, shit, people. People love keeping it real. People love, you know, truth is stranger than fiction. I love a documentary when I learned something.

I even like a documentary more when I learned something I already know. Like when you did the one about the broke. Oh, yeah. Athletes going broke. What was the name of that? Broke. Broke. Yeah, I'm sitting here.

You got it. I'm embarrassed myself. When you did broke, like that fucking opened my eyes, but my eyes were already open to that. It doesn't take a genius. years to know that you take a 21 year old kid, give him a 7 million signing bonus and $11 million of either. He's not going to go crazy. If you put in a computer and stat stat that, the statistics are fucking mind-boggling. How many people do anything with that money? That money gets chopped up. As soon as it gets there, you know, I was thinking about Whitney Houston the other day.

We were here, me and Dean Devere over here the other day doing a podcast about top selling arms. I told my wife, I didn't know meatloaf was the number four selling album all time. That out of hell. I didn't know back in black was number two best selling album. But if you look at the top 20 best selling albums, like Whitney Houston had like three of them out. And I'm sitting there. They're going, who's chopping up her fucking money now? Because she died, the daughter died.

Yeah. You know, you know, me fucking brothers are sitting around every month. We're waiting for the first and shit. That Whitney money coming in this shit. I was just thinking about that with Prince. You know, they released this new song, and now they got a new album coming out in September of all this stuff that he had recorded that he probably never planned on anybody ever hearing. Yeah, estates. Estates are a whole business. People run estates. Yeah. Bruce Lee, Elvis. Oh, yeah. You know. Make a lot of money. Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson made more money dead than he did alive. And that's crazy, guys. Can't take it with you. But at least with music, you can continue to make a living for your whole life. The one in broke that really good. got me because I grew up he was my first like Celtics the person I was a fan of Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker and Antoine Walker gambled and drank his way to a hundred million dollars and he's broke like zero like it's just like it's crazy and then you can't by 35 you're just you physically can't play yeah you've got well listen you think about the you know the the way it used to be when the American dream was alive and well spoiler alert it ain't no more but when the American dream was a thing you know the way

it would work in the world, the average American. You know, you go to school, you graduate, you get a job. Maybe you try a couple different rackets, you know, along the way to see what you're good at or what you get into. And then you find a business that you're involved, you know, you're involved. You work your way up. And as you work your way up, you're getting promotions. Hopefully you're getting a raise, you know, as you're working your way up the food chain,

you're making more money. Along the way, you do some things. Maybe you get married. Maybe you get divorced. Maybe you buy a house. maybe you lose a house. You make some good investments. You start to learn as you go.

You know, experience, wisdom, at all. And as you grow, and then you reach your 50s, you know, and you're making the most money hopefully you've ever made in your life because you've worked your way up in something. 60s, you know, go on, you retire. And take that and turn that shit upside down. And that's what it's like for an athlete. You, as you said, you're 21, 22 years old, barely in some cases.

someone gives you a multi-million signing bonus, a pile of cash, and you're only paid, if you're a football player, you're only paid during the season. So you have to figure out how to make that last, you know, and now what? You're going to make that money maybe from what, 21. The average career in the NFL is 3.3 seasons.

That's it. And NFL has the shortest careers, the highest, the lowest average salary, the highest rate of career-ending injuries, and most of the players are journeymen. You know, they're making league minimum, which might sound like a lot of money, you know, 700 grand or whatever it is, you know, to anybody else.

But when you're in that line of work, you don't know where you're going to be or if you're going to have a job the next day or if someone's going to say, yo, you just got traded. You got to move across the country, sell your house, take your family out of, take your kids out of school.

It's a pain in the end. You know, like it's between that and the health care and everything, it really sap your resources. but and then before you're 30 years old, it's over. You're done with the only thing you've ever known how to do, the only thing you've ever trained to do, the only thing anyone's ever told you you're any good at. It's over.

You're retired before you're 30, and there is zero percent chance that you're ever going to make that kind of money again doing anything else, let alone figuring out what the hell you're going to do. every guy think oh i'm going to do a radio show i'm going to go i'm going to become a broadcaster or go on an NFL network first of all you think about the number of jobs that are available in that odds are you're not going to have an opportunity to do that and then when you look at the salaries in media there's not that's that's not the kind of money that you were accustomed to making through

your 20s you know and then these guys are at home all the time they used to be on the road or here or there they're at home with a wife they never really really knew kids they're They don't really know. And then that puts a strain on the marriage. And next thing, you know, 50% of your net worth is gone to your ex-wife and your, you know, and your child support. I mean, it's a really, it's like you said, it's like these things. It's so obvious. It's right there in front of you.

And then you see it synthesized like that. And you're like, this is just sad, man. It's just sad. You know, I have a path. I could work every week, you know, get out of my wife and daughter's hair on the weekends, you know, run my life out there. At 30, I would have done that. Right now, I would have been working for a week a month.

And not giving a fuck. Coming home on Tuesday. You know what I'm saying? Every week. Yeah, yeah. Now at this age, I appreciate the life so much that I'm only out two weeks a month. I don't give a fuck, who calls? They'll be there next year.

If I can not take a red eye this week, I would like to not take a fucking red eye this week. No, that just does it. I'm too old for the red eye, man. I took the red eye a couple weeks ago, Columbus. I did okay. Oh, really? That one was okay. Yeah, I didn't get too edibles up.

I downloaded shit to watch on my iPad. You know, you have to. You don't like a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm an amateur. Very, that's all flying is. Flying is, the hardest thing about flying is security. Yeah, it's pain in the ass.

And all that other shit. Getting to the plane, getting on, and now you're on the plane. Five hours seems like an eternity. Not if you got three episodes of Narcos, download it. That's three hours. you're going to read a book and I got an iPod. I'm going to listen to some music for now. Should I haven't listened to it.

Let's just spin it, see what happens. You know what I'm saying? It's preparation. You're well-prepared. You know, a book, I have a little hotel pad that I steal from every hotel. And I have a bunch of them in my sleep bat in your bag. I got one pet in there. I got a Xanax.

I got an edible. I got a vapor pen. The only thing that makes me sad about that is that that means there are two weeks out of the month where you are depriving people in some. some city or some club or something out there, some theater of the experience of seeing you live, which I tell everybody who has a chance to do is to see you live. I love all that shit.

I love performing. But I also know my breaking point at this age. At 25 and 26 and 32, you really don't know your breaking point. And then one day you call your age and go cancel us. I can't do this no more. I know my breaking point. My breaking point, the third week in a row, is when I don't want to come out and take pictures.

It's when I can't wait to get this fucking set over I'm sick and tired of saying this fucking joke That's not good When that goes, thoughts start going into your head It's time to go home Yeah I'd rather give you a fresh weekend I'm fresh fresh fresh

The legs are fresh I'm rested During the week I wrote three new jokes I'm gonna try them out That's when you want to see me I'm 55 if I was 38 I could do three good weeks a month Do two back to back, take one off, and then do it too day. Can't do it no more.

I wish I could. Billy, how many projects do you have going at one time usually? Six, seven, eight. Wow. Yeah. It's a big slate. Well, you have to because, you know, gone of the days of the one hit one of living off the fat of the land. You can't just do Margaritaville anymore and parlay that into a lifetime of fortune. It's amazing.

You can't do that anymore. I mean, you know, it's all about the next gig. It's the next podcast. It's the next, you know, movie. it's the next TV show, it's the next spot, it's the next gig. And that's what it is. It's a gig economy,

and we have to keep working. And you've got to work when the work is there, because someday the work is not going to be there. And that's the day that kills me. Like I always say, why turn it down? That day is never going to come again. But now, after being here for 20 years,

I could already tell where you're going with this. Like, I've heard every story. You take me out to lunch. You tell me. scale and you tell me you don't have a distributor yet it's on the way your brother-in-law talk to these Chinese people out of New York and next thing you know you shoot your heart out you you learn the lines you you do more beyond the ropes than what you get paid for and you get a call three months that do you serve that friend at NBC and you're like what happened to your Chinese cousin oh well

they reneged they they they quit that company and now that thing you worked on is on fucking YouTube because you're a fucking moron. And I know what I'm saying? I've seen this from the jump, you know? So... And I feel the same thing. You know, Cindy Lamett wrote a book called Making Movies. And Sidney Lamett has a ridiculous, ridiculously prolific career.

You look at his film, and you're at IMDB. The guy directed like 753 movies. Like, it's ridiculous. He directed me in Bronx Tale. Is Sidney Lumet? CBS paid him $2 million to do the, CBS's answer on NYPD below.

Oh really? Oh, that doesn't surprise. Yeah, it was a New York guy. I mean, yeah, it was New York. In 2009. Sydney, do he act? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so.

It's not him. Okay. Yeah. But he, uh, he wrote this book and he basically said, every time someone gave me an opportunity to direct a movie, I said yes. Because, for several reasons,

not the least of which you don't know when those calls are going to stop. coming, number one. For him, it never did. He directed to the day he died. God bless him and was doing some of his best work at the end too. But he, and the other thing he said was, I got better at it.

He goes every project's new. So you learn something new on every project you work on. But that's the thing. I really like, when people stop me, it's weird in Miami especially. People will stop me and be like, are you Billy Corbin? And I'll go, are you a process server?

They'll say no. I'll be like, then yes. Yes, I am. And you got to have a line. you know that makes them laugh you know and uh and um they'll go oh dude you know i know you're probably sick of of hearing this and i'll be like are you going to tell me that you love my work like yeah i love cooking i'm like why would i ever get sick of of hearing that like what a great thing that is that someone wants to come up to you and a stranger on the street and tell you that they

love what you do i mean what a great what an honor that is well i will never get tired of of of hearing that, you know? I think that's, and who knows how much longer in life, you know, my grandfather, you know, who's sort of the patriarch of our, of our family, very successful in his time. You know, one of the things he said, he goes, one of the toughest things about getting older is becoming irrelevant, you know, he's like, he goes, he ran a company, he mattered to thousands of people that he, you know, employed. He mattered, you know, it still matters to his family of course but everything kind of revolves around you you know then people grow up and your grandkids have you know have kids and every you know it goes and you just become a little less involved

with the world day to day and the phone stops ringing you know like it there's not as much action you don't matter as much to as many people and and it's hard you know to kind of make that adjustment so I love being being busy I love having some place to go and and work to do and but I'm also developing in my late 30s this new thing, which is, I think your thing, which is, you know, I'd much rather be home with my family tonight. Like, I love that.

I've never liked to be home this. You know, I like, I like being in Miami. I like, but I'm starting to find, like, at this age, it's like, I'm 39 now. And I'm like, you know what I'd love to do tonight? Not go out and drink with friends, get home from the office as quickly as possible, and hang out with my family.

And I love that. When that turns into a good time, like you said, you don't want to leave two weeks out of, you know, out of the month, you know, I think that's great. I think I'm probably getting there too. Like, that's why with our projects, too, Lee, I, you know, I, I would say like, well, I'll take on as many projects as possible if they're Miami projects or Florida projects. We're offices in Miami Beach. I don't got to go nowhere. You know, like every once in a while you got to do a little, you got to come out here to do the song and dance, you know, the racket. You know, we're out here pitching and selling and

and you know, you got to put your tap shoes on. You know, got to get up on the desk and shuffle step, shuffle step flat peel flat peel flat peel step you know wave the the top hat and the cane around um but other than that if i can be at home i mean i love that so i feel you i got three different things number one i was married once with a child the daughter and i lost it i lost that relationship so number one now number two now i have to work harder you know years ago when ralphie first got hot you know I would call him on Tuesday what the fuck are you and he'd go on I'm Tampa I gotta do prayers for next week

or whatever the fuck he would say to me you know and there's Wednesdays Tuesdays and Thursdays I gotta stop what I'm doing at 415 meet my wife at the house and we go pick up my daughter and we go to eat of ballet and between you and I sometimes I just sit there and stare at my daughter in the pool and dance and I just dripped off my mind just drips off you know

And after 15 minutes, I get this little voice inside of me that goes, what the fuck are you doing here? Go do something with you. And then I got another voice that comes in and go, if I could wake Ralphie up right now and ask him, but would you rather be in Tempe on a Tuesday or watching his daughter fucking swimming? How would he do it this time? You know, that's what I think about. So, to me, money comes and goes. Money comes and goes in this life.

For me, I was never relevant in my 30s or in my 40s. I just constantly work. Now, for the first time, in my 50s, I'm selling tickets and shit like that. So I got nowhere to go. Like, this just, do you know what I'm saying? Like, for me, it's completely different. Like, I got so many hats in the ring right now. You know, whether it's the produce, you know, whether it's the podcast, whether it's writing the book,

whether it's writing in a journal from my daughter. It don't end all day. Like it doesn't end It's it's I love people who think that you get to a certain level and Managers and agents and assistants I wouldn't fucking want an assistant if you paid me Because he can't do what I could do I know the damage I could do I know the damage I do You know I get up on Monday morning at 515 you're done By the time you get to your office at nine

You got three emails telling you what to do today exactly to the T So there's no misunderstandings You know, and that's the way I've always been. I'm big on Monday mornings. And nobody sells you like you do. Nobody sells you like me. You're not going to have an agent who's going to get to work. No, no.

No. And once people get that idea, that concept, you know, I've seen so many people come out here. I've got the best agents. No. When do you go down there? There's no such thing. You got to go down to the agency. If you have a theatrical agent, for example, what I did when I was a theatrical client, like I still do it, is I'm there every three weeks.

with an excuse. Yep. Got no headshots. I got a new resume. Yeah. Got to knock yourself up in the queue. Got you a cake. I went to young, yo, y'allel. Last time I went to CIA, I showed up with sharing with the kids. Last time I went to CIA, I showed up with fucking yum yum donuts. 36

Mexican deep-fried fucking donuts for white people in Beverly Hills. Those motherfuckers were bananas. Sometimes I show up with a bag of edibles. Every assistant gets an edible. Every agent gets an edible. for their husband or wives or whatever you know i never show up empty-handed but you show up what's the purpose of it joy so they see you yeah so you're in their fucking mind i love i've seen people come and go in this town i've said to him my agent doesn't send me out what was the last time he took him to

lunch well i didn't know it wasn't anything to take him to a strip club the first thing you do an agent is take him to a strip club because now you see his vulnerabilities now you see if he's a fucking pig or a gentleman. If he comes back to you and his ties loose and his cheeks are red and he's leaking from his nose. Covered him. Covered in blood. He's a fucking, that's the agent thing.

Joey, pull the car around. Pull the car around. Pop the trunk. That's the agent I want. You know what I'm saying? That's the guy I want. I don't want the guy that says, you know, she touched my dick and I almost had a heart attack. I'm going to call Terry Cruz.

Someone once told me they said, what they said, they said, agents are like cell phone companies. They all suck. I want to tell you this. I don't know if I ever told us. I never, I don't know that ever said it publicly. So for Hurricane Irma last year, last September,

I was in a mandatory evacuation area, meaning we had no choice. We had to pull a one-year-old daughter. I mean, what are we going to do? I mean, if it was just me alone or my wife, we probably would have just stayed put. You got to get the hell out of here. So, there's some gyros.

Where are we going to go? I said, let's go to Nashville. So we flee to Nashville for Hurricane normal last September. And I hit up Ralphie. And I say, we're fleeing higher ground. We're coming to Tennessee. Coming to Nashville. And Ralphie says, you're staying at my house.

I'm like, Ralphie, there's no. I'd already gotten an Airbnb. I'm like, I already paid, you know. I'm like, Ralphie. I'm not. He goes, I got a five-be. bedroom. It's all childproof for my kids. Like bring your mother-in-law, your wife, your baby, you're all, I'm like, Ralph, we're not,

I'm like, I'll see you. Every day I can, well, I'm there. I'm like, I'm not, but that's the kind of guy that he was. He was in, I mean, it was just unbelievable. And then we had plans every day and he wasn't feeling good. Every day. We're going to do brunch. We can do this. And he just wasn't feeling good. But he did his Tuesday gig. He did his Tuesday gig at that club, at that local club. I think I. Zanis. Zanis. I think, you know, I think...

He had a monthly show there. Yeah. And it was like he didn't want to let the locals, you know, you didn't want to let the hometown crowd down. And we go to see it. And it's just typical, like just holding court, you know, for hours and an hour. And just some of the best crowd work I ever saw anybody do. It was funny. It was dirty.

It was sweet. Some of it was sweet. So there was some FSU students sitting in front who had fled for the hurricane. He bought their, you know, he bought their drink. See, it was just like he was just, you come out with us tonight. We're going now. We're take you out tonight on the town. You know, you're a hurricane refugee.

They'd just driven in that night. The girl was falling asleep. And he was just, it was just, I went backstage to see him. And he wasn't feeling good, you know. And he says, you got to come out with us. You got to come out and drink with us. My wife said, please don't. He does.

He looks like shit. You know, I'm afraid you're going to catch something. And then we're cooped up in this Airbnb apartment. I want the baby to get sick while we're, you know, refugees here. And so I didn't go. I didn't go with him that night. And he wasn't well enough again to come and, you know, to come out after that. And we went home.

And I don't know, what was it? A week later, two weeks later, not even. I'm on a plane. And with the internet and I got, and I just sat there crying. I just sat there on the plane crying and crying. It's like the last thing was like, you come to my house. You stay with me. You stay with me.

This guy, it's the biggest heart. It's the biggest heart. I miss him like crazy. I miss him like crazy. Let me get some shout out real quick. Paul Denver. I love you. cock sucker, Pat Costa, Shane C,

omnibus pop mop, full metal Pete, Thesyllis Adamopolis, my little Greek buddy, Pat Shea, I'll see you in Tempe, Freddie Dadao, and Ross Vincent. Don't forget Tempe tomorrow night, bitches. We're not fucking around, and then

on the, whatever, the 18th, I think I'm in Providence, and that's all that. But then I'm in the stress factory, so get your tickets now. But I'll see you motherfuckers tomorrow night in Tempe. Bring the refo, everything, whatever you got at the house. Grandmother's chemo, tablets, whatever the fuck you got, I want. You know what I'm saying?

I'm in the mood. I'm in a mood for a melody. I'm in a melody. I'm in a mood. I'm in a mood. I tell people, your story, I told you this before. But it's important. It's important to reiterate.

It's like a comedy bucket list thing for me. I tell people, I'm like, if you have not seen Joey do the story about, about doing Blow with his cat live. You have to like, it's a thing that, like, it, like, to me, it's like a legendary thing that, like, people have to, like, like, I, like, I, I felt like I experienced something that was, like, special and, you know, because it's not just comedy. It's like, it's, it's theater. It's monologuing.

It's like, it's a special, it's a special thing, like, for me. I only saw it once. Only saw you do that once, but it was, it was, it's special. It's like, I, I call it my comedy bucket listing. It's like, boom, I did that. I did that. That's amazing. I have a great time, especially with the story tone.

Now, you have a new thing coming out with the cocaine cowboys. Yeah, because if it ain't broke, don't fix it, is what I say. You know, I'm not a one-hit wonder, but I may be a one-trick pony. Let's just be real about this. But, no, we got a new cocaine cowboys documentary. This is interesting. People don't know this. When we first started cocaine cowboys, it was supposed to be about Willie Falcone and Salmogluda.

They were known as the boys, Los Wachos. They were local heroes. in the Miami Cuban community. They were the biggest cocaine traffickers at that time. Certainly the biggest Cuban. What years for these? This was about 79 to 89, right? In the entire, you know, the decade was really,

they were the cocaine cowboys for us. And my producing partner, Alfred Spellman, his best friend's dad was an attorney who was working on the case. So they used to ride carpool. While his dad, if you can picture for a moment, Sean Penn in Carlito's Way, like this type of guy, you know,

yelling on the cell phone, the old school, you know, speaker phone and the car, you know, about this case. And so that was middle school. And then high school, they were tried in 95, 96. Then there was a second trial in 01, 0102. So high school college for us was Willie and Sal, the boys.

Like this case, the Miami Herald, when they would do headlines about these guys or the case, it would say Willie and Sal acquitted. Willie and Sal charged. Just their first names, dude. That's what it would say in the Miami Herald. It would just say, Willie and Sal this, Willie and Sal that. They just knew them by the first name. I mean, just Miami knew them.

And it was an incredible story of public corruption of, in addition to the normal cocaine trafficking type stuff. But this was, but when we started making cocaine cowboys or wanted to do this story in like, you know, 05, 04, it just wasn't ripe yet. You know, a trial had just ended. There wasn't people who could talk. It was federal court, so there wasn't a lot of access, you know, like there is in a state court. And we just couldn't do it. So we bit, so cocaine cowboys, believe it or not, was plan B. that was our backout plan

was cocaine the way we made cocaine cowboys it was supposed to be about this and then through the years as a labor of love people would reach out to us hey you want to hear my story about willy and sell and we would through the years we would just start on spec we would just shoot an interview you know US attorney

defense attorney one of the co-defendants who were smugglers with these guys and we just started to just start to build this movie over like seven or eight years and it's six hours long it's called cocaine cowboys Los Mucachos. It's a six-hour doc miniseries all about

these guys. I think it's better than cocaine Cowboys, better than the original. It was what the first one was supposed to be about. It's six hours. Hopefully you'll get to binge it. You might need some, you might need some to do-toe to get through it. No, but it's, it moves super fast like Cocaine Cowboys does.

It's good for a plane. Yeah. I watch those on a plane. Nice long flight. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. You want to watch a movie? I can't sit in my way. No, no. Those days are done. Yeah, I know. And you know what? Your phone don't ring for three days. Go to an afternoon matinee.

That's the day. Everybody wants to talk to you about something. They got gigs. They want a break. They got a movie for you. You jump out of a helicopter. You go to a movie day that won. Monday and Tuesday, nobody will call.

Wednesday, as soon as I sit down, I'm not even biting the first fucking popcorn. The phone starts ringing. Grudge match was on the other night. I was just on TV, I guess, a couple weeks ago, whatever I said. And there you are reading Us Weekly. laughing my ass off.

I mean, you make me laugh, sitting reading a fucking Us Weekly magazine. That's it. That's all it took. I just start laughing my ass off. I love it. Playing on late night on TBS. Yeah, a lot, I feel.

Yeah, a lot. That's a movie that should not have worked. That is great. Like, I went in thinking, like, this could be a mess. And it was hilarious. It was a really good movie. It wasn't a good movie at all.

It turned out really well, dude. It turned out well. I just pissed me off because the public didn't buy it. Like I bought it. I bought it. For once I finally go, this is going to be a good movie. It's going to be interesting.

He's going to win the box office. Hey, the bag of dicks. Came out Christmas Day. Me and Lee looked like two assholes. We went to Christmas Day with a bunch of people from the church or something like that. You want to come on Christmas week. Yeah, we went out and saw it at Lemley. Yeah, we saw it in like 30 other people.

Eddie Bravo was there. Yeah, from the church. And we had a good little time, you know. And that was the best part about it. Wasn't the premiere. It was that little thing we did with like 30 guys. We just say show up and let's watch the movie together. Not everything is a hit out of the gate,

but when you see the way the replay value on that, man, because people love it. Because when it's one of those movies, it's when it's on, you'll just sit and watch it. It's just likable. It's just watchable. Just watching those guys do their thing

in a story that should be totally ridiculous, but somehow they sell it. Somebody they sell it and they buy it. And I don't know, like it's just, it's not a masterpiece. Don't get me wrong, but it's just a movie that it's a simple movie with a great. that just works and it is fun to watch.

So why not watch it all the damn time? And I do. I find every time I flip through the channels and it's on, I find myself sitting there watching. It was a fun movie for me to shoot. I was only there three days. I think I was in New Orleans for six days because I had two days off.

So I just did comedy. I booked a local little gig. I just did comedy. They put me up at this hotel. It's so weird how you're, it wasn't. I don't want to say prejudice, but you're programmed a certain way. When I checked in, they go, by the way, we have a restaurant here,

and breakfast is at six, lunch is at 12, and dinner is at six or something. Like, what are you talking about? And they go, you just come in and they'll feed you. Really? And I go, what do they have? Do they have like a menu? They go, no. It's whatever they cook.

And I go, okay. And I went down there in the morning, and it was either oatmeal or, you know, they had fruit and cereal, but the fucking lunch. That's when I went and I ate every meal like I was like I had to eat out Every fucking meal they had was one better than the other Really? They only had 60 people at the hotel was a tiny hotel A couple of movie a couple of the actors were there and they just served whatever was on the menu Like it was one of those things that there's no menu like tonight is steak with potatoes

But just the best steak and potatoes one that I went down and had pork chock One that I went down the guy made a meatloaf like all occasion style and shit. It was brilliant. I would have never eaten there at all. I think there was one meal I didn't eat that out of the six days. I want to stay at this place.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Sounds great. When does this come out the six hour millie? That's a good question. Well, that's what we're here to find out. That's what we're in L.A. for, you know, so hopefully I'll have more news on it.

But it's looking great. We're really proud of it. We really worked our asses off. We basically financed the thing, you know, on our own through the years. You know, you work on a project. We could get some fees. You kind of reinvest it, if you will, you know, and to carry this thing.

Because it wasn't something we could just do in one fell swoop. It was like when people became available, got out of prison, were willing to sit down and, you know, go on camera. We would just grab the interview so we could kind of accumulate this content. And it's just, it's just wild. It's just, it's because it's like the trials of the cocaine cowboys. These guys in their first trial, they spent $24 million cash on their defense. So forget OJ. These guys had a dream team.

They had John Gotti's lawyer. They had Roy Black. They had Al Krieger. They had a dream team like you could not believe. And they had an army of paralegals because these guys were put in solitary confinement because they knew everybody in town. Sal Magluta was like the godfather.

The Cuban, you know, Aolita would come and say, I can't make my rent. He'd hand her a stack of cash. Say pay rent for the year. Pay your mortgage. You'd come, my daughter got into University of Miami. but I can't afford the tuition.

Here's the money. Like he was that kind of figure and he was beloved. He bought a lot of loyalty and a lot of friends in, you know, Little Havana, Hialea, you know, Sweetwater, those predominantly Cuban communities, exile communities. And it's like a Cuban crime saga. You know, his father was indicted. His son was indicted. And they, $24 million, these paralegals, so they're in solitary confinement because they don't want them corrupt. They kept getting caught with cell phones and, you know, various things that you're not all, like, contraband and whatnot.

So they, that means they, you know, didn't have any contact with the outside world. But to prepare for trial, you're allowed to sit with your attorneys all day long. Right. So they pay these women who would go to paralegal school or whatever the hell you need to get your certification or whatever. And these women would be paid to come to the prison, pull them out of the cell for six, seven, eight, nine out all day, if necessary. They could talk on the phone. They would eat lobster or whatever they brought in. Spoiler alert, one of the paralegals gets pregnant.

If you can believe that. Just one? Just one that we know of gets pregnant. I mean, these guys had some pretty insane adventures. And then it comes down to this. This is the most expensive prosecution in the history, drug prosecution, in the history of the Fets. This was a 75 tons of cocaine,

was the indictment, and over $2.5 billion is what they estimated the they conservatively estimated the operation at. And these guys were also world champion offshore powerboat racers. This is classic Miami Vice shit in the GoFest cigarette boats and the Donzies and everything.

These guys are out there on ESPN, on USA Network, live on TV, they're internationally recognized champion sportsmen, and smuggling 75 tons modestly of cocaine. How do they know? Sal kept ledgers. He kept ledgers of every kilo, of every dime of every dollar. So that's how they were able to put this case together.

What winds up happening is it comes down to it. They have 26 cooperating witnesses. They have this epic case, most expensive case, biggest cocaine case in federal government history. The jury goes out. Comes back, not guilty, not guilty, not guilty, not guilty, not guilty. Everybody in town knew who these guys were and what they were doing. Not guilty. What happens?

Not one, not two, at least three jurors were paid off. The tentacles that these guys had in the community, the roots they had, they could reach out and touch three jurors and pay them, including the foreman, who was a baggage handler at Miami International Airport, Okay, baggage supervisor. This guy starts running around with a Rolex, a new boat, goes to the Bahamas. The feds are like, what the fuck's this guy running around doing over here? Turns out he got paid by some shady characters. And the next thing you know, the U.S. attorney, the main guy in the Southern District of Florida.

Kendall Coffee is his name. You see him sometimes on CNN as a talking head, a pundit, right? This guy is so upset about this win. I mean, this loss. They don't know that they got screwed with this jury yet, but literally like the night or two after the acquittal. He gets so upset he goes to Club Lipstick on South Dixie. Let's call it a gentleman's club, shall we?

Club Lipstick, all right, on US One in South Miami. He uses his company card, which means his U.S. Attorney Amex card, to buy a magnum of champagne, winds up getting a private dance, and biting the stripper. He is drunk off his ass. He bites her. So here's what happens. The next day, this U.S. attorney, his dad, goes to the club and wants to pay cash to buy the receipt back.

Meaning like, credit the card back and let me pay you cash. And they're like, get out of here with that. And the bouncer, who it turns out is the boyfriend of the stripper that he bit, sees this guy coming in trying to buy the receipt thinking, who is this? Like, what's going on here? Is this some VIP? Pee what he reports it. Next thing you know, guy resigns.

Like this is some classic Carol Hyacin only in Miami kind of shit. Guy resigns. Guys, whole career is over. And the next thing you know, you find out they bought off the jury. There were witnesses that were murdered. There was an attorney that was murdered.

And they start putting together the second case, the second round. That's why this thing is six hours. It's just like, it's just, and it helped to, it basically subsidized the entire criminal defense bar of Miami. Because there were so many defendants

and so many cooperating witnesses and so many, they called them satellite cases and there was murder cases and there was money laundering cases and there was jury tampering cases. So every attorney almost in every attorney in Miami at that time had some case or had it was making a living in some way or another off of a Willian Sal case or satellite case. I don't think there's ever been maybe the Watergate scandal in D.C. where more attorneys were involved with more defendants that it just seemed to literally

finance the whole criminal defense bar in one town. And here, like, you go, we're 20 years later from the second case, from the last case, and there's still lawyers working in various cases just this week. There was a fugitive in the case. They called them, the media's dubbed them the last of the cocaine cowboys. This is Gustavo Falcone, Willie Falcone's brother. This guy, so all their buddies, I mean, everybody they know is getting subpoenaed into a grand jury. So they know there's going to be some, you know, some sealed indictment.

You know, you know what's happening. You know, and you can see the writing on the wall. To this guy, his wife, his son and his daughter, they were like nine and ten years old about that. They disappear just before the indictments come down and everybody gets raided and busted and shackled. This guy disappears with his wife and two children, little children. And they're gone for 26 years. Remarkable. I mean, they just disappear for 26 years.

Guy was on America's Most Wanted three times. He and Osama bin Laden were on the FBI top 10 list at very, times together. Just last year, the guy is living in a rental house near Epcot in Orlando, Florida, Casimmy, Florida. A guy gets busted. They catch him after 26 years. Just three days ago, he pled guilty and was sentenced and the judge said, you know, life on the lamb is tough, you know, because he threw himself in the mercy of the court. He said, that was no kind of life. I was in a prison of my own making for 26 years, you know, nearly ruined my children's life. You know, nearly ruined my children's lives. They're in their 30s now.

They never got to move out of the house. They never got to go on the grid, get driver's license, have a normal life. He's like, and the judge was cool. The judge was sympathetic and said, listen, you've got to, you pled guilty, you got to pay your debt to society. I wish I could give you less time. But this is so much

cocaine. It's just so much cocaine. He repeated it twice. Game 11 years. Game 11 years. And it's a case that keeps going. It just keeps going. Willie Falcone, Did 20 years, got out. Ice took him, put him in immigration prison in Louisiana.

I'll tell you, he's not staying at your hotel with the good food. I'll tell you with the good eats. He's staying in some immigration, you know, some ice hellhole. This was just last year. They released him from prison last year. Ice took him with an immigration hold. Here's the thing. He's Cuban.

Never became a citizen, a U.S. citizen, but he's Cuban. So the judge ordered him deported. The problem is the relationship with Cuba, as you know, you know, there's some anima. there. You know, with the Obama administration, you know, deitant brought a little more cooperation, but now it's been a little bit of a rollback, and so no one's sure if Cuba will agree to take the guy

or not. So now he's in this sort of like purgatory in this sort of limbo, and no one knows what's going to happen. And where's the other guy? Sal decided to go to trial. Will he pled? The government had a very sophisticated divide and conquer kind of approach to them.

They had charged Sal with money laundering, witnesses the witness murders and jury tampering jury bribery Willie they just charged they only had enough evidence they felt to prove money laundering they didn't have him

they felt on the jury bribery or the witness murders so here's the problem you know how this goes you got two guys sitting next to each other one co-defendant charged with murder the other one not charged with murder you got to take your chances with these 12 people who are going to sort it out and

you know and and and and and and try to distinguish between this guy. So will he cut his losses, pled guilty to the money laundering, took a 20-year plea. Sal decided to go to trial, got acquitted of the witness murders, got acquitted of the jury bribery,

and got acquitted of the cash money laundering. He got convicted of writing eight checks on a Tel Aviv bank to his attorneys. He was convicted of money laundering for paying his attorneys with these checks, with these eight checks. judge sentenced him to 200 years in prison. So the same stuff that his partner had pled guilty to got 20 years,

he pled guilty got 200 years. So he's got. They got this thing they call acquitted conduct where the judge for whatever reason is allowed to consider for the purpose of sentencing acquitted conduct, meaning even though he was acquitted of the murders, the judge for the purpose of sentencing could consider the other child.

charges that he was acquitted of, which sounds to me like a quasi-constitutional, if he, kind of a thing. It's like, ultimately, you get 200 years in prison for eight checks that you wrote to your attorney. You know, I mean, it's a, it's like an Al Capone thing. You know, they got them, but they got them, you know, creatively, let's, shall we say. So it's a crazy story that, you know, we were in a pitch meeting yesterday and someone said, so when does the story end? Like, when does it come up to? I said, April 27th, 2018. I'm like, it's still going on as we speak this. I'm like, it should end with us here in the room

pitching it to you. You buy it and then they can start over and re-bing from episode one again. It just goes in a circle, you know. It's a crazy story that just keeps going on. And it's a story that if you lived in Miami or grew up in Miami in through the 90s and the zeros, it was front page new.

Yeah, this was like our OJ. This was a big, this was a big fucking story. And this was the story of the cocaine cowboys that we always wanted to tell and never had a chance to until now. And no idea when it's coming out? No idea. No, no, I'm going to say, I'm going to say definitely 2019.

I'm hoping earlier than lay, probably mid, so probably about a year, I'd say about a year from now. Six hours, a lot of content, a lot of, a lot of show. A lot of content. Always a pleasure, brother. Always a pleasure having you. I'm happy you came to town. I miss you. You look great.

I walked in the door. I was like, who the hell is that skinny, sexy son of a bed show over there? You look great. 60 pounds to lose. All right. Hopefully, hopefully. We're giving it to that old fucking tribe, man. But I'm happy you came in and said hello

and I miss you. Miss you too. Once Homedel opens up, I'll be back down there. That's the club. Yeah, well, because the hard rock shut down. Everything shut down. They're gutted everything.

You should see, they're building this fucking hotel like a guitar. Yeah. They're like halfway. You can see it from the turnpike. You're like, what the hell? It's amazing. I mean, the thing looks,

it looks like they're building a fucking spaceship. Or an art. 20-21 or something. I don't know. such a bummer. Now we got to schlep up to Palm Beach to the improv and there is no comedy club in there's there's cool rooms

there's little venues but there is no comedy club right now basically in you know in several counties. There's one in Boca I think they got going on it's but yeah I got to go to Palm Beach you know order to Palm Beach in October. You should come down you should do Shirley's there's this great little bar in Winwood

Gramps it's amazing just it's this little hole in the wall right in Winwood you know it's called Gramps. I'm far from downtown Miami. Oh, downtown Miami is like, I mean,

it's like 10 blocks. 10 blocks north of downtown Miami, right? Like 23rd Street, 24th Street. And a few weeks before Hannibal Burris went to Philly and, you know, and made some cell phone recorded remarks about the one Dr. Cosby.

He was in the room at Shirley's trying out that material. And I swear to God, you know, I'm a comedy groupie. I'm a degenerate comedy fan. And I watched Carlin Bomb in fucking Vegas in 2000. 2000, it was crazy.

I mean, you know, I love comedy. And I'm sitting there and Hannibal starts riffing on Cosby doing the same shit he wound up doing weeks later in Philly. And my buddy Adam and I, who owns the bar, we're sitting there. Packed house because Hannibal pops, you know, out of nowhere shows up.

We just tweet about it and boom, the place is fucking slammed, right? Great room, little room. And he starts doing this Cosby. dead silence in the audience because nobody knows what the hell he's talking about. I lived out here in the 90s. His reputation was very well known

out here. No one knew about, you know, say the Kualudes or whatever, the roofy business or whatever it was but everybody knew the guy was a lech. Like it was very well. And if I knew about it as a kid in L.A. in the 90s, then everybody fucking... I didn't know about it. I heard about it. Oh, yeah. Everybody knew. Like, people would... I heard stories from actresses and people. I heard stories

all the time about Cosby. So I knew all about it. had known about the accusers in the past and everything, Adam and I are hysterically laughing. We think this is brilliant, right? And nobody in the audience, because we're all a bunch of kids. You know, they don't know what the hell he's talking about, you know? And we were the only two motherfuckers laughing.

Hannibal kind of looked at as an audit at us because we were the only people laughing. Later, we're at the bar. It's a crazy night, by the way. There's a picture of me, Adam, Hannibal Burris, and Phil Collins at this club. That's how crazy and Miami this shit is, right? It's like, I can feel it coming in the air tonight, baby. So I'm at the bar and I'm this drunk asshole now, you know, hanging on Hannibal going, I just want to tell you that Cosby shit is so brilliant. I'm like never stopped doing that because it's not only funny.

It's true. It's important. It's like my Twitter feed. It's like it's important. Like people got to know about this because you can see from the crowd's reaction, nobody knows about this. I'm like, you got to come that asshole. Like you keep doing what you're doing. And I'm like, it's, I'm telling, like, this is important.

It's funny, but it's important. People got to, you got to spread the word. And he's looking at me like this. Get away from me, you drunk, schmuck. You know, like, I'll be damn. Not two weeks later. Not two weeks later. I call up at him.

I'm like, you see this shit? This video. Like, that was the shit. Hannibal was trying out here. I told him, you better keep doing that shit. I'm like, you listen to me. You know, it's crazy that you have, yeah, when Cosby got convicted, I was like, this is fucking crazy.

This is really crazy. They all knew. they all knew NBC knew they all knew for years they might have they might listen I knew I knew I doubt it I know I was 12 years old or 15 years old they fucking knew they're greasy motherfuckers

they're a bunch of pedophile cucks suck you know what NBC NBC stood for network and Bill Cosby for a while I mean he built he helped build that house with Garson there was a few guys you know in that in that era who built a modern network they yanked off his reruns that's it oh sure yeah everybody's fucking done

it's a bummer if you're an actor on that show you used to get You know, those residuals? Yeah, that's a bum. I feel bad. I feel bad for those other actors. You're done. You're done. Yeah.

What are you going to do? Blue Apron is the leading milk keep delivery service in the U.S. And while many people know what we do, many don't know about the types of meals you eat when you cook with Blue Apron, you're just not having burgers for dinner like some schmuck. You're making short-ripped burgers with hoppy cheddar sauce on a pretzel bun. You're preparing seared steaks with a thine-pan sauce with mashed potatoes, green beans, and crispy shallots. Ooh, my God.

Ooh, and all under 45 minutes without a trip to the grocery store, okay? That's what Blue Apron does. Blue Apron achieves us by... Achieves us by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community of home chef. Now, Blue Apron offers three meal plans.

Two-person, family meal plan, and a wide plan. All right? But no, the most important thing about Blue Apron is Like Lee said, the recipes. They deliver fresh proportioning ingredients, step-by-step recipes right to your door that can be cooked in under 45 minutes. The menu changes every week based on what's in season and what's designed by Blue Apron's is in-house chefs, okay? Blue Apron offers 12 new recipes each month. Customers can pick two, three, or four recipes based on what fits their schedule.

Blue Apron Olson only sends non-GMO ingredients and meat with no add on hormones. You can't beat that. So what I'm going to do is this. Check out this week's menu, all right? Like I told you, check this out. Chicken tinga testators with avocado and refried beans. I write roast pork and salsa verde with sauteed vegetables.

Then in parentheses it says Florence, Italy. You follow I'm saying to you? You could be in Ohio eating what they eat in Florence, Italy. Who's better than you? And you don't have to buy it. Like, just really quick, they send you only exactly what you need. Every time I go to the grocery store, you end up having all this extra stuff that you don't need. Waste.

Yeah, waste. Wayp and send it to the dot, tip-top of goo. Beef and rice bowl with soft-balled, eggs roasted, and a beautiful piece of broccoli. Beef empanadas with roasted sweet, zucchini, potatoes. Listen, the list goes on and on. What I'm going to tell you is this. Do me a favor. Go check out the menu again.

See what you like, what you don't like, and get your first three meals. For free at blue apron.com slash Joey. That's free. Slash, gratis, free. Blue Apron, a way better, a better way to cook. All right. Number two, you join in Jiu-Jitsu, you don't know what to do, Joey, I don't know what.

You're a fat fuck. You need a ghee that's going to cover that fat fuck. We got to go see Swan the fucking curtain maker to make you a fucking ghee. You got to see the size of my ghee. It's fucking huge. The pants weigh eight fucking pounds. So what you got to do is you want to like ghee

that's durable, dependable and it washes out. They put the natural fucking thing in to keep the algae and the stinky people off here. And that's the fucking Superrito gea from Fuji. Okay, they also have the Seiko. They have the plain one. They got the element, which is a great ghee.

But any of their geese, I recommend. Even the $94 purple one that looks sharp and fuck and it's lightweight. Go to Fuji Sports.com. Right now, press in. Church? Who the fuck is better than you? I'm going to deliver it to your door like the savage

that you are. You understand me? I want to thank my man, Billy Corbyn again. I also want to thank people who donated to Brandy Lynn Gibbons. You guys are helping her out. I'm trying to put together. See how we can do a comedy benefit for her. But if you don't know, go to my GoFundMe page, Brandy Lynn Gibbons. And even if it's $2, $2.2. You did something. You made somebody's day with two fucking dollars.

Who gives a fuck? You don't need to be a big shot. One more time, Blue Apron. One more time, Fuji Sports. My man, Billy, Corbin, and the original Flores. Fine Jew, aka the Christ Killer. I love you motherfuckers, all right? I'll see you next Monday, get ready to rock. Tempe! I'll see you tomorrow night, you cock suckers.

Stay black. Uncle Joey here. Kick that fucking mulee.