The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #587 - Ed Quinn

Episode Date: May 24, 2018

Ed Quinn, a musician and actor seen on "2 Broke Girls" and "True Blood," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 05/23/2018.  

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May 23rd. The church of what's happening now. Thursday morning. 10 days to D-Day. Oh shit What's happened You bad motherfuckers Uncle Joey on a Wednesday afternoon

I got my main man Ed Quinn in the motherfucking house I got the Christ killer The original Lee Syatt And I got Kichi the guests Fucking breaking hearts Knocking people out

Sexually harassing people Just walking around And shit Let's tell you Just sexually harassing men Men just fold They fall over when they see Kisha What's happened Mr. Quinn

Oh Joy so good to see you man to see you. Yeah, it's been, it's been too long. When was, when did we shoot that fucking thing? What happened with that? What have happened with those people? You and I were basically going to reinvent television. We, we were before Netflix. We were just so far ahead of the curve we didn't know.

See, we didn't take out, we didn't have Alpha Brain back then. We couldn't see the future, but that was it. When was that? Was that like 10 years ago? It's got to been like 2000. It was a strike. It was doing the strike. That's right.

2000. I think it was that that'd been like 2007, 2008. And, yeah, we did this. That, it was like an online pilot, but the guys behind Law & Order were creeping on it. And they were going to try and do, yeah, it was basically like Law & Order for your phone or some shit like that. Something creepy. But it was fun day. We got to meet.

We talked about the UFC. Yep. And then I see you popping up on fucking True Blood. I see you popping up on slinging dick on two broke girls. Now you're on a Cuban show. Yeah. That's very true. I know.

That's right. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. No, it's, uh, thing. Things have been all right, man. Just been grinding out. But, you know, it's just like nothing different than what we were doing back then. It's just trying to stay in the game and always trying to, you know,

before all those comedies, I was doing all kinds of weird, like, sci-fi and stuff like that. And you just, it's amazing how in this business, if you hang in there long enough, your career just takes these different weird. Now I'm doing a whole bunch of unscripted stuff for discovery. And it's just, I don't know, man. You just, just hustle. It's really a journey. And I've said on the show before.

When you commit, the universe will take care of you. Yeah. And it knows when you need. You know, as a comic, I remember not knowing how you're going to pay rent and it's a 20 second. Yeah. Not having an idea. You're eight days away from D-Day.

Yeah. You have no fucking idea. I still remember hanging outside at Kmart, waiting for people to drop their receipts. And I would pick up the receipt, go in the store and get the same item they bought and I'd get the 36 bucks or the 50 bucks. Like, you have no fucking idea. Like, it's a starving comic. You have all these options and that's all the options.

And I remember one day I picked up a receipt for a $400,000 loan mower. And I went in there and they didn't have the loan more. I'm like, fuck. So I had to drive to Longmont, Colorado that came on. And I walked in. I had the guy even pick it up. Pick that up, put it on the thing. I gave him like $5.

I was like, pick it up, put it on the sled. Wait, so you'd have the receipt and then you'd give him the receipt. And then I'd go into the store with the receipt and I just take something off the shelf. Yeah. This was way before cameras. Oh. And you go up to the customer service and go, Quinn bought me this for Christmas.

I already got it. Yeah. You have the receipt right here. Oh, my God. And they give you back the cash. Luckily, I paid cash. And then I started not even using a receipt.

Wow. Just taking an item off, bringing it up, and go, my mother got me this for Christmas. Can I get the money back? And they look at you a couple times. It's like, oh, creepy. They call the manager over. Then they'd sign off and they'd give you cash.

Wow. And you're like, holy fuck. And I'm getting taxed too. Like, they're paying me tax. I didn't pay. It was fucking creepy as shit. shit you do 10 years but to pay but to pay rent that's what you know like I had to do something sell weed yeah sell fucking pills whatever whatever needed to be like like like when

you're like a comic like that when you do those you know because like you know they say you're working on a special you're working on being a headline or something when you're just getting up and doing like 10 minutes you're not getting paid anything like they don't even tip not down they don't even like give you a they don't even like give you a they don't take cover your bar tab I remember in in 1998 I did my taxes I didn't send them in yeah because I made $8,000 And I remember thinking $8,000 doing comedy. Wow.

At least I'm halfway there. Like I'm like, at least I'm existing. And I'm doing what the fuck I want to do and I don't have a boss. Yeah. You know, I'm driving to all these exotic places like Missoula, Montana. Yeah. I'm driving to fucking, you know, Moscow, Idaho. Yeah.

Like, you're going places. But that's why the attrition rate so high. I mean, that's the one thing that people don't realize is, you know, there's so many people that are blessed. just to have been able to exist, just to have been able to sustain, just to been able to keep things. Because you never, look at Rogan. Rogan went from what? Like, he was doing multi-cams.

To the next thing you know, he's like, cage-fighting commentator. To now he's like one of the biggest commentator and maybe the biggest podcaster. It's just... Do you know how that started? No. He just called Dana and volunteered one day. No shit. And flew himself to Vegas.

Wow. Like the first three times. Yeah. He was just a fan. He was just a fan. And a participant. That's how easy it was. Yeah.

And how, but how it was just like you just wanted to work? He just wanted to be a part of it. He was on news radio. I still remember going to New York with him. He was losing money. When he first started going on the road, I went on the road with him one time. I think he was making three grand. Wow.

And he paid for a first class ticket for both of us. Wow. He lost money. Like right there, he lost. Yeah, exactly. And then we did tell. His business manager was like, man. Yeah.

He didn't give a fuck since day one because he had news radio. in the beginning. That's the of a pain on sitcoms. That's what actually you were. And the reruns, you got one of those. You could exist. One of the saddest things that happened to me when I was starving actor,

I got fired from the season finale of Frazier. And it wasn't just that I got paid for the episode. And the only reason I got Anthony La Paglia was, I think he won an Emmy for his guest star role as Niles' brother. And he was so unbelievably funny. And we've been rehearsing to think, And I had nothing. I just, I'd set the guy up and he would do this one joke.

And that was it. It was nothing. It was like, it was like, I, it would. Where is Anthony Lopoglia today? Probably it was living on his without a trace money. Probably down in Australia, like making independent films and loving life. He was a great, great guy. Oh, no.

And funny as fuck. No, no. But listen, he got me fired. He literally, it was a day before we're going to tape the season, one hour. It's the wedding episode of Frazier. I just watched it. That. Basically, he comes storming in.

and I basically say something to him and he'd done it one way like all through all the rehearsals and all this stuff and so I was ready it was funny but I was ready for it was good and he comes out and like right at like the big network or the studio run through whatever it was he just turned it on its ear he did something completely different and dude it was like it was like liver punch it just got me and I didn't have a joke to hit I didn't slow the scene down I just broke he just he just he clocked me he locked me knocked me out It was so funny. And they saw me just like get a little nervous. A little chinkin my arm like a little chink of my arm like I laugh. Yeah. Like I'm a little too like, you know, enamored with this dude's, you know, the comedy. And I got hooked. And it was such a bummer because I remember like as an actor back then you got paid for that episode.

But then that thing reran. And it really ran and all. It's how you saw it yesterday. I mean like, and those little checks, those little, they start as a few thousand. And when they trickle down, they're just, I mean, I can save you. And I got, so that doesn't happen no more? Getting hooked? No, no, no.

Oh, yeah, people getting fired. I know, that's how much people get fired every day. I got fired from a telemundo job. They fucking hated me. I went into the, you know, I'm really good at auditioning. So this was right when you had to join SAG and after. This had to be 99, 98. That was a racket.

And I went in for this Cuban show by the Cuban family, and I booked it as a doorman at the club. So I was going to recur. Yeah. Like I was like, oh, shit. I didn't know if Telemundo money was good. I didn't give a fuck. I booked the job.

And I went up there, and there were Cubans. And I started talking. You were born in Cuba, right? Yeah. So you're legit. But they looked at me, and they're like, uh, excuse us. And I rehearsed the scene. I was way too green.

Oh, no. And at lunchtime, when I came back, they pulled me aside. They fired me. They paid me. Man, they paid my after. Yeah. I got to check for like 116 because after it was like 800 to join. Yeah.

But here's the interestingness. The star of that show went on to be like a big co-star on the George Lopez show on ABC. Huh. And when I moved to the valley, I used to walk around North Hollywood Park. And I saw him one day and he goes, excuse me, he was going to tell you something. He goes, I've always wanted to bump into you and apologize. He goes, it wasn't me that got you fired. Oh, wow.

There's two types of Cubans. Jungle Cubans like me. Then there's decent Cubans. Even when I was a kid, I'd go to Cuban girls' house and their moms would say, don't bring them over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I speak jungle Cuban. Okay.

Even like when you're all Romerozahn, Rogan. I don't know that type of Cuban. My best friend is Cuban. His name is Juan Carlos Saizabatoria. Yeah. So, yeah. No, you know, yesterday I might, listen, my sister fucking called me yesterday. Oh, shit.

From Cuba. Whoa. Okay. I was on the phone. with somebody and I saw the I didn't know the number but I knew the number and then she sent me a fucking email and when somebody calls me by my and I I listened to the message and when she said hos Antonio that's my real name yeah it just creeps me to fuck out really my family calls me that they don't call cocoa they don't know about Joey Diaz they don't know mad flavor nothing

they just just that tone of Jose Antonio freaks me to fuck out. Wow. Because she says it just how my mother says it. Oh, shit. You know, like, Honolio calling me back. And then she sent me a message, and I was like, fuck. So today I've been procrastinating, calling her.

Yeah. Like, all day, because I invited to fucking come here for a month. I got no passports. So I go, why don't you? She got stuck in Cuba. Yeah. I go, why don't you fucking come here for a month, meet your niece. And I'll take it in New York.

I'll take it to Mom's fucking cemetery. You can put flowers down. She goes, I'll never go to the United States. I go, what's this conversation? I haven't seen her in 52 fucking years. Are you serious? Yeah, she got stuck. Oh, fuck.

You know, and every fan, you know, Quinn, one Irishman got stuck in your family. Told her brother he was coming right back. I'm going over to the check in his eyes. Every family member, every generation has somebody who got stuck. Something happened. Something didn't work out and it was my sister. So whenever I talked to her, she has that,

like no matter how bad I had it growing up, He had it a lot worse. Yeah. Well, you know, it's, uh, my buddy's, you know, my buddy's parents or grandparents had lost, lost everything in Cuba. You know, it's a kind of amazing story. His grandfather fought against Franco, lost, you know, in Spain, barely got out alive, got to Cuba.

He saw Franco and his dude walking down the street. It was like, nope, you know, sent the family to Miami and then was going to, you know, see what happened. And sure enough, you know, ended up losing everything. But now his family's going back there right now. And they're kind of doing the whole. All right, this government's falling apart. Give us back our restaurant.

Give us back our building. There's a lot of Cuban Americans now, I think, who are going back there and trying to figure out a way to get their property back. And that could be, that whole country could open up soon. It could be really interesting, man. I don't know. I don't know. The country's got a lot of fucking bad luck.

Listen, they used to do a lot of creepy things there in the 50s and 40s. Yeah, that's true. You know, when I read that article about the Superman, the guy with the big dick and Godfather Two, that two people actually went looking for him. Really? That scene from Godfather, too, that I talked about on the C-Sysos special. I went to school with his grandson. His grandson used to always say, my grandfather had the biggest dick in Cuba.

He was the guy from Godfather, too. And then he used to do the same type of sex show. Wow. It was a sex show. Yeah. And this article, if you ever get a chance, see if you get it. Superman, the Cuban, because I talked about it on Rogan, and people like, the article was brilliant.

It was two guys that went and looked at this guy. 50 years it took him. And they got the origin. He died in Mexico. But he was a lawnmower guy in the daytime. At night, he did sex shows. His dick was like 14 inches. In Havana.

In Cuba. He got paid 25 a night to do sex shows. And the people would get off the plane and go there. And it came out the same week that Richard Pry, his wife, said that he fucked Marlon Brando. Oh, my old is reason. This is just recent. Yeah. So this article just came out maybe two, three months ago.

And in this article, it says, it goes, Superman of Avana. Look at it. Oh, man. He was famous beyond Cuba. No, go back up. He was famous beyond Cuban shores for his mighty endowment, a symbol of an era of sex and sin. When the revolution came, he disappeared.

That ain't no fake. That's real. That's why they call him Superman Frato Godfather. That's the last. It's a, if you ever get, if you have 35 minutes, read this. Have you ever been back? No, no, no, no. Read this fucking article.

They fucking break it down. And I, my friend, grandmother, told me. Yeah. George and my friend I grew up, but she goes, listen, as little girl went to Cuba. No point, no. No. That was just a sex haven't.

And when I was a kid, my mom died in 79. Yeah. And she'd always... How old were you? Well, not, she died 16, but my mom would always go to me. When I were to wear like a pink shirt, yeah. My mom would go, what are you right?

Hudson and I go why do you think that and she goes what do I think nothing rock Hudson's gay and I'm gonna look really what the fuck are you drinking rock Hudson ain't gay and she'd say when I was a little girl rock Hudson would come to Cuba and lock himself in a hotel room with young boys and shit we used to go down there like you know like when Michael Jackson took the baby out in the window shook it like you know the performer he goes he would just stay in the hotel all these girls would go down there to see Rock Hudson I thought there was a line so if you read this article they'll tell you that we would just

just a bunch of Americans are just filthy people we were filthy yeah we go to Cuba just a fucking Kennedy went to Cuba and got laid and you know who had this who had the tape the dirtiest guy was Santo Traficante because he actually flew this guy into Miami to do a sex show they have it on tape it's in black and white that him fucking just just like in the like just a private plane get him in Miami get him into Miami do a sex show and flying back wow but his main love was Marlon Brando. When Marlon Brando would go to Cuba,

he would walk in with, it says in the article, he would walk in with two women and leave with Superman. Him and Superman were lovers. Wow. The place was called the Shanghai. They did it a Chinese fucking restaurant. This is brilliant.

He also did private sex shows for wealthy Americans. That's crazy. Oh, that is just crazy, man. Who was telling us he got $25 a show? It's in here. Oh, okay. It's all in this article.

So you started as a music, can do it. Like you grew up... Yeah, yeah, I did. You know, I grew up, I grew up in Berkeley and, you know, I started, it was, it was, there's this music scene of the young, kind of like young metalheads. It was the weirdest thing, but there was this little guitar store called secondhand guitars on the corner of Rosen Grove in Berkeley. Grove is now Martin Luther King Boulevard. And there's a candy shop and this, I mean a guitar store, not much bigger than this booth right here. And there was this dude named Joe Satriani, teaching guitar lesson to punk little kids.

And I tell you, man, it was the weirdest thing because this is right in the heyday of like, you know, Eddie Van Halen and Randy Rhodes and like the, you know, the beginning of the whole sort of like flashy, shreddy metal stuff. And, you know, and there's Alex Skolnick and Steve Vai and Kurt Hammett and all these other guys. I think the guys from like Lodge Rocket and Exodus

and all these kind of speed metal bands and thrash metal bands written there. and we would all just be you know we were all like 13 14 learn to play guitar and we'd all just go is our guitar teacher better than all of our heroes because it seemed like it you could walk in like you know god i remember what the day i asked joe satriani to teach me how to play eruption i like a part of his little his soul died he played in this band this is the funny thing and i'm sure people who know him know this but he played in this like kind of poppy pop trio called the squares and he played in this kind of poppy pop trio called the squares and he played in this band he He sang and it was like, it was this thing. And we'd go see him. Like you do these free concerts like at Zellerbach, you know, a square and, you know, the Berkeley community park. What year was this?

82, three, four. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And he, like, he's playing and he's singing and it's not, and it's not like, he's not like breaking into, it's like really like almost like, I think I want to, I know the Romantics played in the same thing. I want to say like he played a show his little band open for like the Romantics. I don't know, at a free, you know, at a park in, in, in, you know, in,

Berkeley, you know, like, and, you know, so that kind of stuff. When you're walking in your sleep, you're out here, feelings that you keep. Exactly. When you're talking in your sleep. Good full. Good pull. And so, yeah. And so like I started playing.

And, you know, a lot of the guys, you know, there's a bunch of little local bands that started to do pretty well. But it also, man, it looked like a tough gig. And I was pretty good at sports. And I kind of, I went, I was at this all boys high school. And I was doing, I kept my grades up. And I was playing in bands. Oh, was that mean?

Sorry about that. I turned out. That happened. And so I, uh, I, uh, yeah, I, you know, and I just, I remember having like a conscious decision at one point about being like, because like guys that were older than me, you know, they were graduating high school and they weren't going to college and they were like trying to make it. And, and there was, you know, like a band Loss Rocket and ruffians and they were getting close

and they were putting out records. And it just seemed almost like we were talking about like with the comedy thing. It's like, man, these guys like, I, there was, you know, you know, the basis for a couple of them, I would come by my house and he goes, your parents home, you know, can I just take a shower, dude, can I just have a bowl of cereal? I mean, like starving, like homeless.

Like, and he, his family lived up the street and I guess didn't want to have to do anything with him, you know. And it just, it was rough back then, it was hard back then. And like Joe Satriani's teaching me how to play guitar? Right there. You go, I don't know, he's got to sit, he's got me walking in asking him,

you know, I want to learn how to play, you know, over the hills and, you know, like, you know, or is it Zeppelin or, or some Ozzy Osmore and, you know, I teach me to play crazy train and sat trying to sit there. He's like, oh, God damn.

And he can do it. You can like turn it on, you know, just like listen to it for two seconds. And like, yeah, all right, here you guys, how you do it. And so, you know, I don't know, man. I just, I started really kind of focusing on sports and, you know, went to college and always kind of had it in the back of my back pocket. And when I first came to L.A., I was studying acting,

and I couldn't, you know, I was working a little bit, getting some commercials, couldn't get an acting job. And started another band, got another band. We started getting as a momentum. And we started, we were headlining the Sunsetter, headlining the whiskey and the Roxy and the Trubador and stuff like that. But then again, you know, it's like bands are hard. It's like a marriage between four dudes and, man, just things,

it always implodes, imploded four times and the record deal imploded. And I don't know, man. Music is it, it's the, it's maybe one of the coolest things to, you know, of the arts, one of the coolest mediums to be a part of, to be a recording artist or to be a musician and get paid. But I think it might be the hardest. And now I don't know how you'd make any money. I don't know how you make a living, you know.

After Napster hit, I mean, everybody, it just blew the music, the whole music industry up. I mean, there was, you know, all of a sudden your records weren't worth anything. Your music wasn't working anything. It was given away for free on the Internet. And so, I don't know, some of the best musicians I ever saw just didn't quite make it, for one reason. You know what I'd like, everything is while you were saying this,

I was thinking, if I had a chance to do it, it again, I would have kept comedy as a hobby. Really? Are you serious? Why is that? I wanted to do something else. Yeah? Like, comedy is fun until you start adding numbers up and stuff. Huh.

Once an art becomes a business, it's a thin line between love and hate at times. I like this, but then again, I just love going to do. just love going somewhere and being able to say what the fuck I want to say. Yeah. And not, it becomes, it became a business. You know, Joey, it's so counterintuitive to me, because I'll tell you something, I have always, like that second time I started doing the music thing, I was living down a little surf shack in Manhattan Beach, and I would ride my bike down and go to the

little blues bar, man, what the hell was it called? And all these, all these, God damn, what was the place called? It was closed now. And I'd go down and I would watch all these guitarists play. And in my mind, I've always thought, you know what? You know what I should have been doing back then? Going a block further to that comedy magic club and like gone in on Monday nights or on the open mics and maybe try to kind of like maybe that would have gotten me into the sort of maybe into the sitcom world or into the acting world. It would have been more kind of the work that I'm doing now.

And I kind of almost feel like, now why was I spending so cafe Bougaloo? I go down at Cafe Bougaloo and I watch all these. you know, national tour and it would become more bluesy, there's some rock kind of stuff, but, I mean, ripping musicians. And I feel like I was like, man, what was I doing? What was I, you know, why was I chasing that dream when I could have been down watching comics, watching all these guys come up, watching all these big entertainers, watching Leno every Sunday. I mean, I could have been down and put my time in down there. And because you're your own boss. You write your own stuff. You know, you, like, David Don Greer is a really good friend of mine. And I, I watch, we'll be having

conversations. I've seen his act 50 times. I love it and it changes all the time. But he and I'll be having a conversation. He'll be telling me some stupid story about a girl or it's car breaking down or something. And I'm laughing. He's telling it to me. And then all of a sudden, man, like two nights later, we'll be at a club and he'll be up in front of a thousand people. And he's telling that he was worked at that story because it made me laugh. He's like, I'm going to try that. And sometimes he'll get on stage and I'd watch him and it would be like, and it would become a part of his act. And it wouldn't, it wouldn't work.

And he wasn't really going on it. He would veer back into like, you know, into his, it was, into his regular act. But I don't know. I thought there was a freedom to that, like what I've seen what Dave has been able to do. What I've seen what you're able to do? I mean, what, 10 days? 10 days? 10 days.

10 days. I mean, think about that. That's just, I mean, that's just amazing. And like, with, especially in this era now, it's like Netflix and HBO and showtime and all these guys, you know, all these comics and all the guys that you're, you know, you got this like, you know, this podcast ecosystem and all of you, man. It's like, I've got to like literally spend, like, I've got my own Twitter page,

just a short sort of like keep where you guys, all your shows are popping up. Did you see the lineup at this comedy store last night? No. It was something from another planet. It's insane. Like it was something from another planet, like both rooms.

Yeah. No, who was there? It was like, it started with Sebastian, Delia, Whitney, you know, Rogan, Burke Kreischer, I mean, it was just like, I looked at it and said, Jesus Christ, excuse me, Jesus Christ, what is this? See, and I'm in the circle.

Yeah. Like, that's even scary. I'm sitting back there waiting to go up, and I'm like, my heart's pounding. You know, it's like I got ear plugs on. I could hear my heart actually pushing, like me going. Now, a night like that, is it just packed to the gills? Packed to the gills last night. Wow.

Packed to the gills. I saw the audience. There's a little bit what Kichi said last night. Believe them not, they were a little bit tight. And I opened up with a bit that usually gets a weird response, nothing. I go, I got my hands filled in front of me. Interesting. And I fucking went from there, and I flipped them.

And I did something in Providence, Rhode Island, but I thought it would go over and ate a bag of dicks. But last night at the comedy store at work, because I didn't say her name. Oh, interesting. I didn't say her name. See, this is the part of the journey where you learned that if I would have said, I said her name in Providence, in Providence, Rhode Island, there were savages. I want to thank you again for coming out Thursday night.

They were savages, and they even skidded a little bit when I said Rose McGowan. Oh, okay. Last night, I said, I don't want my daughter to be raised in Hollywood. It ended up like this crazy chick who left the cocaine in the wallet on a plane. it got a laugh. Okay. You follow me? So just words.

Yeah. The analogy of words is a weird understanding. You know, sometimes you say dick too much. So you got narrow it down to one dick. You got to narrow it down to one pussy. You got to narrow it down to you. You don't know that to you're at the 40-minute mark. And you're going, I'm talking about dick again.

Yeah. So it's, it's, I love the journey. I love it. I'm looking at the passion right there. You got wheels spinning right now. Yeah. And like, so last night, so all these big names are there, how many of them are working new material or like you?

They have a special or they just... At the comedy store 10 years ago, you go down there on a Tuesday night and said, I could go up on state and talk about Kishi and you and fucking Lee and not give a Frenchman's fuck. Yeah. But now they're flying in from Australia. They're coming in from Canada,

and they're coming here to do business, and they're driving up from Marina Del Rey because that's part of their fucking vacation. They figured the comedy store into their trip. I'm going to fucking Cali. I'm going to the comedy store. They don't even care it was on the lineup.

They just know that on Tuesday night they're going to see Bill Burr. They might see Rogan. They're going to see Chris DeLeo, Sebastian. They buy tickets. Tuesday nights are always sold out. Done. Done.

Done. You walk in there, the electricity. I was trying to tell you that the best podcast I've ever listened to him my life was Stephen Tyler. on Joe Rowe. And he, I had to turn it off. I love music as much as you do.

I take my music seriously. He said he went to muscle shows. He read his timeline. First of all, when he read his timeline, you know how we complain about how busy we are? He's 70. You should have read his time. And he wrote it everything down.

Monday, had lunch at my kids in Venice. Got in a car, drove to San Diego, did a private show, got in a plane overnight, Orlando went to Disneyland to the show with Kelly Clarkson and that chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then from there, went to New York. I'm out there for three days.

You know, 70, always moving, met with a Buddhist monk. He hooked up with Duncan Trussell. Then he went to fucking martial shows, and he goes, just to think, listen to these words. Just listen to these words. He goes, just to think that I was standing where little Richard was standing. Wow. He goes, I put my hand on the wall. And he goes, you could feel it.

He goes, then it came to me that five feet from where I was standing, Greg Orlman told his brother, let's try that. Think of those words. Like, I had to turn it off tears and coming down my face. Like, that you're that deep in music. Yeah. He's that deep that he took, he said it. He goes, I was standing five feet from where fucking Greg Orman told his brother, yeah.

Yeah. Let's try this lick. He goes, think of what I was feeling. That's the comedy store right now. Yeah. You go down and there's this weird fucking. you know there's weird whatever the phenomenon it's an epicenter it's an epicenter there's there's a light that shines on those stages and you could feel the pain in the walls

you know it's been done in there for so long that you know it's like when you go to an own music venue yeah and the music is in there you know that's true we did that thing and uh that um with dean delray but the acdc did you see that no no i didn't see that dean delray got the bass player where he got Rudy yeah the guy from anthrax the drummer from the counting crows he got a bunch of people and they did a tribute to acdc oh no way and while we were down there the guy gave us a tour yeah of who was in there yeah and he goes right here you know just think about it right here elvis stood here like it was where somebody did somebody bought that place in the 50s oh dean martin because it was close to his office oh yeah so dean martin would go over there and do comedy at night with fucking

Jerry Lewis. I'm sitting there going, are you fucking kidding me? That no matter what you say in there, that spirit, that energy is still stuck against those fucking wall. You know, it's so interesting you say that because I just got back last week. I was doing a movie in Cleveland. And I was like, you know, one thing,

two things I got to see. I got to see a Cavs game. Got to see the Cavs close out, the Toronto Raptors or whatever was, which was electric, by the way. I mean, I'm not even an NBA fan. Just started sitting there, like looking around going Yeah, it's big time. What's the Rock and Roll Hall fame? And it was really kind of humbling and sobering.

It's almost like when you, it's like you go see like a, you go to a museum and you see like an old suit of armor that had been in battle. And it's like in some way it looks a lot smaller and a lot bigger than you thought it was going to. You know, it's like, you kind of see it. You're like, oh, look at that. And then all of a sudden it's just like it has this aura about it. And just going through and seeing all Bowie stuff and Prince's stuff. And every time you turn around, there was.

like, you know, it's one artist, but that artist represents so many stories and so many songs and so many emotions that they put out. It's heavy, it's heavy. And so it's, yeah, it was almost overwhelmed. It was almost too much because it was just like, it was, you know, every step. It was a new artist.

It was a new whole catalog of music, a whole, how many air is some of these, you know, musician seeing Jimmy Hendricks's guitar, just seeing Steve Ray Bond's guitar and just sitting there, you know, especially the ones that were alive when I was a kid and then you know are gone now and it just I don't know he's even more heavy How long did you study with Joe Satriot before? Probably like three four years maybe they still friendly with you? Not at all. No idea. I would never I mean I'm sure if I walked up to him if I met him and told him he probably laugh

It was probably a great. No, it was like this weird thing where, man, one day he was just gone. I think it was like he got on tour with Frank Zappa maybe or someone finally went, what I'm taking this guy on tour with me. And then the minute like he kind of got out of, you know, Berkeley maybe or just he got in front of an audience. And then Pruster came along and, you know, one minute he was there. Next minute he was gone. And then, you know, a few years later, surfing with the alien came off.

And we were just, I mean, we're just all so proud. Now, they've told me that right in Burbank was Randy Rhodes's mom. and him taught music. I probably, yeah. It was a little store in Burbank, and Magnolia. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't want to repeat it. Like, yeah, you can fact check absolutely everything I say, and I will not be offended if, you know, I'm 100% wrong. I've heard somebody came in, I think it was Rudy who said that, yeah, he used to teach guitar lessons right now on the corner.

When someone's that good, when someone's Randy Rhodes good, it's usually they love it so much that they, I mean, you know, I know so many actors that teach acting because it's just like, it's something they're really good at and they're passionate about it. And you also learn so, you know, it's like anything, man, like you're really good at something.

So now you're teaching someone from, you know, the basics. And as you're teaching them the basics, you're like, shit, I kind of forgot some of the basics. I should be actually paying attention to this. This is like the simple ABCs of anything, of any art, of any, you know, craft of anything. And so, yeah, it wouldn't surprise me that someone like Randy did because Randy was, he was next level good. You know, there's the savants, like a, you know, like a Jimmy Hendricks or something. and then there's, you know, someone like Randy Rhodes

who just seems to be... He changed the game. Like, he changed the game. Like, there was Van Halen, and Van Halen was fucking rocking. Yeah. And Van Hal was more of a savant, too. I don't even know if he could read music.

The kind of thing... I just saw them. Yeah. I just saw them about... Not saw them in a person. I went to the weed store. Yeah. About maybe 18 months ago,

one day I'm listening to Monday. Every Monday I listen to Sirius. That guy, Eddie Rock. Eddie... Yeah. Eddie... Eddie... From the VH1 show.

Yeah, the VH1. I love that show. He's doing a top 20. I just got a tweet, like his podcast. Here we are. I can't remember his name. He's doing a podcast like today of like his top 20. I love him.

Love that. Monday I get in the car. I listen to Eddie. When I go to New York? Eddie truck. Eddie truck. Eddie truck. And it's weird because Dean Delray is good friends with him.

And Dean goes, if you go to New York, I'll get you on the show. I'm a big fan of his. I'm a fan that he could do a podcast by himself for three fucking hours. He's great. He knows everything. He ain't searching for no names either. No deep tracks. And he takes calls and he fucking has a guest.

And by the way, I do love him. There's all these things like he loves old UFO, which is something like, oh, that live album. Come on. And he loves Y&T too. I think he had Dave Medi Kennedy on his show and stuff. I forgot to tell you. What?

That after, all right, so when I got on a plan on superstitions, it's fell on, it's sound of winter. Yeah. Whatever, that's song by Bush. maybe twice. Yeah. Then I put Fell on Black Days maybe like 13 times. Yeah.

What do you think the next song is? Is it UFO? UFO, Strangers in the Night. Oh. Fucking rock bob. Rock bot. Well, I was going to say. Guitar on that.

But also, the beginning of Doctor Doctor, oh, my God. It's one of the most beautiful things live I've ever heard in my life. Put it on Lee. Yeah. Doctor, Doctor Live. Just the first four-core. I don't like what it becomes.

Yeah. Is it a video or not? Where's the audio? Just whatever you want. Whatever is easiest for you. Just to listen to Dr. Doctor Live UFO. With Shankner. Oh.

His first solo album and the second one. I was a kid when his second one came up. And he toured last year. Did he really? Yeah, with all the three singers. With the three singers. Yeah. Yeah, rock bottoms on my like workout.

Look at him. No shirt. Didn't give a fuck. He looks like, what, 17? They have shoes. Looking for him. Fucking for heels. You know, he auditioned for Ozzy Osbourne.

No. And Ozzy called him a fucking Nazi and he picked his guitar. You could turn it off, please. Ozzy fucking called him a Nazi. And he put his guitar in his thing and ran the fuck out of the studio. But no, I listened to the beat.

I listened to Rock Bottom maybe five or six times, especially the guitar solos. I like both. Are the live good? There's something about the studio. It's so raw. It's raw, raw, raw, raw. Yeah, early.

Early, first studio. It's so weird how we've forgotten how to make live music. Yeah, yeah. We've had this conversation. How thin does that? Because it's, it's, there's so much soul behind that and so much power, but it's, I hear it immediately. And, like, those guitars aren't that saturated.

There's not a lot of distortion. There's not, like, all these racks and all this stuff that they're running through. It's all not this incredibly big, even live, like, produced and processed sound. It's just so dry and clean, and yet it's just drum and bass and bass and guitar and it doesn't need that much and we forgot we forgot when you read keith richard's book he has a whole chapter on that we thought about it so much technology took away like we forgot how to make a live album perfect example of a guitar tone that's like so classic and so oh my god let me tell you some keith rich is on some girls yeah the whole fucking album yeah you know Keith riches on black and blue

yeah the whole fucking out yeah he richards oh somebody just gave me exile and i left it in the house They just gave me exile on Main Street, Tuesday, a Thursday in Providence. Oh, my God. Some guy gave me exile on Main Street. I want to thank the lady who fucking made, oh, my God, in New Jersey. They just handed me a bag with, it was like those circles. What do you call those cakes that people make in a circle? Bun cake?

Like a bun cake? Moist as fuck. It was like, I don't know what it was. It was delicious. She made these white chocolate, coconut, oatmeal cookies. Me and Matt ate one a piece. I mean, it was fucking delicious. Then she made two marijuana cookies.

Uh-oh. And I took a bite out of one of them. And I gave this because I can't have it. It was delicious. And I took your note and I don't know what I did with your note. And I'm sorry, I'm not acknowledging you. But if you're listening, thank you for bringing me the fucking pound cake. Whatever it was, was out of this world.

They bring me some great shit these people. My gosh. Now, you still go to an acting class? You know, I don't as much as. But I would. That's the whole thing. I don't really go. I just, you know, life and just trying to keep my head above water and stuff. But I got to say, sometimes I will go. I'll go back to class just because I like to watch it. I like to watch the process. I like to watch other actors, you know, the class I always went to, you know, you'd have all the class be working on one scene. So you and I'd be doing the same character. All three of us, you know, we would normally never auditioned maybe for the same thing. But now we're all working on. And maybe it's something, maybe it's your audition that you got going on, but the whole class is putting it up. And the girls are all different and they're putting it up. And you just, watch people make different choices and that to me I don't know it's like you were saying about you know too many dicks you're always learning you know you're always learning what works what

doesn't work going back to the basics and so um I'm just I kind of exiled myself from you know the one thing that keeps me sane in this town is being kind of out of the town and so I am down in the south bay down at the beach and that just you know allows me to recharge my batteries and come up but it's also it's a long way to come up and sit in an acting class for you know, four or five hours because everything's here. What did you go to originally when you moved down here? The first acting teacher I had was a woman named Janet Alhanti, and she was fantastic, but man, I don't think I learned anything.

Because it was like all this like repeating, my inner stuff. It was all this theory acting. And then I get an audition. I'd be like, I don't know what I was supposed to do. I mean, it was crazy. Like we'd be doing these long scenes, all this theater stuff, you know? And like, then you get an audition for Melrose place. What am I going to do a hell to do with this?

There was a couple of cats. They're like famous cats. I can remember their name. I went to them. And then a woman named Leslie Khan that I, that I, that's how I got that job with you. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. Leslie Khan contacted me because I did a couple of privates with her. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, whatever. I did it. She was working with Lewis Guzman when I booked his pilot.

Yeah, yeah. I was pretty impressed. And sometimes I think about going to acting class. Well, she, like her and her con. Yeah, we have nothing going on. And like her classes are like in, you know, you're sitting in like a,

living room and like I said like I want to watch eight actors who I never will never read for the same thing I want to see them do I either want to try and do their material and I want to see them do my material because I'll learn something from that you know it's it's watching watching young you know like I'll go into some of her younger classes you know like as a TA I'm a terrible teacher I'm like I'm more of like a football coach so like when I'm how you do the wrong do like this and that's not the way you you know coach acting but so I rather just sit and watch and like watch her develop students and watch students sort of like come into their own and because that's the thing is you're just you're always learning in this

all the businesses you know music as well you know it it depends I've been doing a bunch of like kind of unscripted stuff I'm learning about that kind of stuff like you know doing more almost like a hosting of shows and so yeah there's some there's something really to me at least there's something really rewarding and like advantageous about popping into a class, you know, just going once a week, you know, and they're working on some stuff and just because you can get stuck, getting a rut. Think you're nailing stuff. Think you're doing great.

And all of a sudden you go work with some people and, you know, everybody else is like, yeah, you know, as cool as you think you are, you know, kneecap you a little bit, you know, like, you know, get to get you to reset. Well, do you need that? Like last night, I drove home with Bert and I was. When I dropped Bert off, it's funny because it was 1130, maybe 1145, and the energy from the store woke me up. It was like I went to Starbucks and got a fucking coffee.

And I looked at Bert and I gave him the old Joe Rogan line. I go, you really want to go home? He goes, he goes, where are we going to go? I go, I know a place. Where a woman will show you a pussy for a dollar. That's an old Joe Rogan joke from 1998, yeah. And he just looked at me, goes, a dollar. And I went, it's a joke.

Get out of the fucking car. And then I call Joe, and I go, Joe. He goes, where are you? And I go, I know a place where you could see a woman's pussy for a dollar. And he started laughing on the phone. He goes, how old is that fucking joke? I go, 98. Oh, my God.

That was one of your jokes on your first CD. Oh, wow, it's first CD. I was trying that. You got in trouble. for going to a strip club or something. And the guy said to him, what are you doing here? And he goes, I know. That was a joke from old Joe Rogan.

So when I dropped Bird off, I just drove around and I was going to call Lee. Lee had just left the movies. Yeah. And I was thinking about calling Lee and having to meet me a yum yum donut. To talk about comedy. Yeah.

But I go, we're going to eat. Yeah. That's the last thing I need. It's fucking a bagel and a yum yum donut with fucking Lee. And now I can't. Yeah, we're sitting there because we'll do it. Yeah. Yum yum donuts.

dangerous in North Hollywood. I've thought about going there and getting a cup of coffee. You can't do it. You can't do it. Like, I've thought of going in there like a... You got a show in 10 days. No. I've thought of going in there like and going because they're open 24 hours. So you can go in there with your computer,

get a cup of black coffee, and you can write till two and see people who are coming in. Watch. That's the beauty about life. You go to a coffee shop. I'm writing. I'm watching. I'm hearing conversations. I'm listening to shit. Just to just to get something different,

but I don't trust you on your donuts. I don't want to be in there and get robbed. You know what I'm saying? It's right off the fucking 101. If I was going to rob a joint, I'm cooked out. I know a donut shop, but you can get a dollar. And the on ramps right there.

Even if it's 35 bucks, I got half a gram coming to me. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be in. That poor Mexican woman gets shot in front of me. I don't want to be in there fucking two in the morning. That's number one. Number two. I don't want to end up eating fucking $22.

Donuts. If you sit with donuts, you're going to become one eventually. You're going to eat one. Lay with donuts, too. My weight watches. You know what I'm saying? That's tough to fucking sit there and smell those fresh cinnamon donuts. And they got a new one apple one.

Look at your eyes. Only Mexicans could make it. Oh, yeah. You just turned into a puppy dog. You know, you just sit down. Those Mexicans make an apple glazed donut over there. They'll fucking rock with little chunks of apple in the middle. Only Mexicans can do that.

And I tell Lee, like really, really, really, really white people going there and ask questions. Yeah. And the lady don't know what the fuck is going on. Like, she has no idea of the language. Yeah. They're like, what flavor? Chocolate. It could be strawberry.

She's like, chocolate. Chocolate. And she don't know. And how many calories in that? Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Is they gluten-free?

Chocolate. Chocolate. Like, they hire, like, the women that cannot speak fucking no English. It's a fucking great place. It's small. But my head was going to blow up last night because I just did six shows. I ate dick in one of those shows. Friday night.

late in Jersey. I go to the comedy store in my first five minutes eats a bag of dicks. It's very grounding. Grounding. When you kill in Providence in New Jersey with a bit and then you call in L.A. and you don't kill with that bit. You want to be the kind of

the sociopath who doesn't think about Jersey and doesn't think about the first five minutes. You want to be the person that only rides that high life. That person is just like, oh, I'm killing it. And they'll know. But like I think real artists or people have been in the business a long time. It's almost a self-preservation thing. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't, don't hurt yourself patting yourself on the back for the good ones. The jobs you got or the auditions you killed

didn't go your way. It's the ones where you just go in and face plan. And those are the ones you just go, man, what? What was I thinking? What happened? Well, I go, I forced myself about six, seven months ago to go to an open mic. Once or twice a week where you pay five bucks and you do five minutes and you sit with kids and that has helped me. Same thing. We're just talking. That has helped me a lot because. And are you watching the kids, though? I'm watching the kids. Studying them.

Studying them. Studying them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like the shit I used to do, didn't do, why his set went bad, where he went bad. You know, the other than I watched a kid that set a brilliant line, but he stepped on it. He didn't let it settle in the room. You fart, it comes out of your ass and it spreads.

Yeah. A joke does the same thing. You learn that through time. It's like a fine wine that the joke will catch. But if you step on it. it's not going to catch. I learned that. Acting, 101.

Yeah, 101. Acting. It's big with that. In multi-camp. Yes. That's big with that. That happened to me a couple of times where I'd like said something funny. It didn't quite hit.

And all of a sudden it was just, I realize that, you know, you can actually, you can get the audience to laugh. They won't laugh right away, but they'll let that joke sink for a minute. And all of a sudden, boom, and here it'll come. And you kind of like to. Let them sink and do what Rodney did. Give them permission to laugh. Rodney touched his tie, which gave you permission to laugh. Now it's a psychological fucking game.

You know when to laugh. Okay? You know when to laugh. Bam. You're going to laugh every time I do this with my neck. You're going to laugh. I'm training you to fucking laugh. That's the psychological warfare.

It becomes a warfare in your mind. You figure out, and when I go to those open mics, I leave there more wired than when I go to the comedy store. Why is that? I learned more from watching those kids. I think that we're actors, comics, anybody in a high-profile position loses it like Kanye West. And you're not grounded,

and you never remember where you're coming from. You have to, I don't go to that open mic and give advice to, I don't tell kids what to do. I shut my mouth, I watch. And if I become friendly with a guy, and I see he's friendly and understanding, I will offer my advice to them, but I'm not there to coach nobody.

I go to to watch them, and I know that I learn as much from them as they do from watching me. Yep. And it also humbles me. It makes me remember that time in my career. Yeah. When you're frustrated.

Yeah. Things aren't happening. You're working at Burger King. You're living in a closet. But you haven't put in the hours yet. And you haven't put in the hours, but you fucking could taste it. Yeah.

You want it. Yeah. When I go to the fourth wall, I know one thing for sure. Those kids want what I have. Yeah. And I want what they have, that peace of mind. Yeah. I want that Rick Jagger wrote, you know, when Jesus is doubt and pain.

Yeah. That's the biggest problem we have as actors and comics. What fills our void when we have those doubts and those pains? Like with music, where you had. Yeah. You know, you put it into perspective now. Yeah, I did. You really did.

I was almost scared of it. I was almost scared of it. I compartmentalize it in a weird way. I mean, like, if quitting something is something that's admirable. But I always, and like when the band, last band that I broke up, I had some really big, big A-list famous musicians and bands approach me to become their guitarist. Like, I'm going on stage. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not some virtuoso. I'm not the best guy in the world. But the people that, the people that book the shows at the whiskey and the roxy were like, You, you're good. And that you could be, you could be a big touring. And I was like, I just, I don't know,

if I want to be like touring with some, you know, I'm some big, huge recording artist, but do I want to be that? Am I even good enough? You're on the road with Zach Wilde and the bus. No, but he doesn't take showers for 60 days. Oh, Zach Wilde. Drinking you with fucking Zach Wildeuf,

fucking Jack Daniels and fucking playing rips on a guitar. Now I'm listening, I did it. I mean, I wish, you know, there's times, and I, uh, you wish you wish you were, single. You wish you didn't have children. So you could really do that one more. We're getting in the car tour. Yeah.

What are you talking about, Joey? We're getting in the fucking car. You're driving. But it's snowing in Montana. I don't give a fuck. Do 60, you fuck. We got to be there by the age. You know. Yeah. And a hotel that smells like Hindu. Yeah. You know, the people who own are the Hindus. It smells like curry. You're up in

your fucking room. You hear people fucking next door. There's no hot water. You know, your bed smells like Cologne, you checked into the... You have no idea, Lee, when you're in a bed and you can smell the cologne and the hooker that fucked there an hour before you got into the room. And you got to go do

comedy at a bar and there's a drinking contest before you go up. Like, before you go up on stage, there's five guys on stage doing drinking concerts. I went to Chapel Hill. You know, I love college basketball. I was like, Cuban, American, college fucking

basketball, college football is fucking great. I love all that shit. And I went the University of North Carolina or maybe like a 99 and I walked in there with like I'm a regular at the commies store I'm going to rip this fucking room apart and they were having a drinking contest

and the guy comes up to me like a guy pukes and they're like you know you're following the drinking contest five minutes and you're on and I went up there and I was so rattled by the drinking contest that I just ate a bag of dicks like I just that's experience

that's the journey but and but the thing that you do choose, like, you know, like you focus, you know, mainly on comedy and focus mainly on acting. And then I think there is really something to, you know, everybody's always about think positive and, you know, imagine your vision quest board, wherever the hell it is. And, you know, it only be positive, positive. Sometimes I think it's good as sort of, as an artist, you want to be able to sort of, you know, straddle the side of the light and darkness. And, you know, when your, things are going good, it's really easy to just be sort of confident move forward.

Everyone once in a while something goes bad, it's good to kind of check yourself. It's good to kind of examine that. And that's the thing about comedians, I think, is that, you know, like you were saying, there was that lineup last night. And I bet you were all there, though, at different points.

Like, someone just finished their special. Someone's, you know, working on new material, they're going to do. You've got 10 days. You know, it's D-Day for you. It's like, you know, someone else's got some huge corporate gig and they're trying to, like, do something clean. And you guys are all up there working on material

for a different reason, but all working. and all learning and all like and focused and you know you know for most of my life I just went to comedy clubs and just I didn't understand the what was going on I didn't see the matrix of it I just was like oh these guys are getting there telling jokes cool it wasn't until I met David and saw what went into it saw how like he'd be on a show his show get canceled he had a mortgage he had some alimony he was on the road you know there was a way in brothers that that you know told him to start doing that and and how he did that and how he nurtured it and how he respected it and he was it. And then like, you know, kind of through the podcast world that you just started to learn so, you know, intimately about all of these comics. Not, you know, not Bob Hope and not Eddie Murphy and not the biggest top of the top. But it's like all these guys who are like the, you know, like the grinders and the main, you know, the main lifeblood of the comedy scene right now. And you can learn so much about them. Listen to comedy, you know, listening to a podcast and what they do and what the grind is. I don't know, it fascinates me. And it.

It's kind of, I think it's something that you can also sort of take to your everyday life, no matter what you do. You know, that kind of thing of always be working. This is general. When I talk about comedy, I can be talking about plumbing. Yeah, 100%. I could be talking about drywall. I could be talking about electrical work roofing. I could be talking about, well, I can't compare it to like engineering or something like that because I don't really know that's four years of college.

Yeah. But if you went to college 30 years ago, that shit's all gone. Like, it's all, everything changing as well. everything's evolving. Like here in tech, you know, every, you know,

five minutes ago, dude, it's old news, old business. And so, you know, you've always got to be opening yourself up to that.

And, you know, and that's, I don't know, man, it's, I think it's just, well,

I can't wait for 10, 10 days. That's crazy that you got fired. Like, we all get fired is, like, I almost got fired

from a commercial because I went off from the director, but had every right to, he was just, you know, I get there, I can see the hat

with the feather and the tattoo with the t-shirt rolled up. If you get to a set and you know who the director is by the wardrobe, you got a problem. And it started getting like that. I did one show, the chick was a chubby lesbian

with a French poodle. We're directing here. We're the French Poodle at the fucking house with the assistant. And she's a half a lesbian and nobody knows what the fuck is going on. It's too much drama for Uncle Joey. I just want to shoot a fucking movie

with Sam Ramey with the same suit on every day. Yeah, eccentric. You know, I don't need, that's why I don't, sometimes, sometimes I have a great time acting. Sometimes it's a weird time. Oh, my God. It's like, what the fuck am I doing here? Sometimes I like sitcoms a lot because you're in it out.

Yeah, and show night, show night, man, that's show business to me. That's what that's the thing I love about it. And that's what a lot of actors don't like about it. It's like all of a sudden, I mean, I love it because you rehearse all week and everybody tinkers with the thing. I love shooting a live show and the audiences in the audience. Well, yeah, because you're used to.

I haven't done it in 15 years. Oh, really? Wow. Like, even when I shot Superior Donuts, they shot me on tape. They shot Friday, but they go, we're just going to shoot you on tape. And then the last two, yeah, have been just closed sets.

I did, I'm dying up here, closed set. Close set. Oh, interesting. But for years, I would book pilots for Fox. Yeah. And Friday was a live performance, and I'd fucking kill.

Yeah. I'd kill. Of course you would. And I'd improvise and really pissed the fucking actors off. They would crack. They would crack. I got purposely fired from Lewis Guzmael. The show got picked up.

They were like, you're in no danger. Oh, man. You were a problem on this set. And that wasn't a problem. He said that he wanted me to say a word that wouldn't be said in New York City. Yeah. That one Puerto Rican would not say to the other.

It was a Mexican word. So I corrected the fucking direct. I go, listen, not for nothing. Puerto Ricans don't use these words. Yeah. He was like, you're going to use what the fucking line says. Yeah. The way he responded to me, like, really?

Like, somebody would be open. Yeah. But the way he responded to me, I was like, fuck you, bitch. I did the thing anyway. And years later, I seen him at the store and he came over and apologized. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, like I saw him at the comedy store. Except that man, the fog of war, people get, like, you know, I've been on so many sets.

And, you know, it's crazy. And people are having, you know, nervous breakdowns. People are in tons of pressure and people weighing over their head. and you know and then like you know you get through it and you make it and it's fine and then you know years later like you say you'll be like a you know traitor jo's or something or come in and you'll see somebody and they'll be like man I'm so sorry you know I was just a man I got letters I got letters from like people who were just like oh it was a mess and I was going through a bunch of stuff and you know you were totally right and I didn't mean to

like overstep or be like this and I don't know I'm just like I don't know we got it we made it I don't know I did the longest shot the director I hate him really like from second week we know no way because I went to Adam oh yeah you know you know yeah yeah yeah political politics you're direct the but Kitchie's the boss yeah so you're telling me to do something the boss is telling me do something I got to do with the boss told me I'm sorry so I would do what the boss telling me and he would get met so we clashed and then at the and I loved him I loved him and his wife and then at the premiere yeah he told me because you were not my first choice oh wow at the premiere

Yeah, and I was like, okay, you know, you felt you had to say that. You needed three beers, so fucking 10 years later, I got an audition. And I had IMDB it. Yeah. And I go, God, he's the fucking director. Wow. And I go, I'm going to call and cancel. Yeah.

And I go, you know what? No, no, you're not. It's right here in Warner Brothers. Just go and do your best. And if he sees and he don't want you. And when I walked in, I knew the casting director, the Puerto Rican guy. Yeah. I figured what his name is.

I said something to him. And they go, do me a favor. If you talk to Peter, tell him, I'm sorry. They got clean off drugs. I don't do drugs no more. What are you talking about? He used to someone that requested you. See?

So I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. Things change. And sometimes it's just the business, too. Like, look, there's been twice up in fire. There was another show that was kind of a train wreck called coupling. And I walked in and walked out. And before I got to the car, my phone was ringing, I'd book the job.

You know, some half hour, you know, the dude. I can't remember the role was. And I got to the table read though and they sat down and they saw it and they're like, oh, he's just too, I was too, I wasn't cheesy. There was like, it was things that I couldn't correct. I wasn't cheesy enough. They were thinking more of like a cheesy blonde guy. I was actually, I had chemistry with the girl.

I wasn't supposed to have chemistry with her. And it was just a whole, I was just wrong. But they needed to find a dude. So they kept me for the whole like, you know, you start on like Monday or Friday I get the job Monday. I'm there at the table read. Monday they want to get rid of me, but they don't, they need someone to come in. So Tuesday, Wednesday.

It's like Thursday. I work home through the whole thing. And like, I could feel the director was kind of like trying to get me to make different choices, which I totally was. And all of a sudden, man, it was like this, like someone comes up and goes, hey, Ed, phones for you. And I'm like, what? And everybody's gone. I think it was the set phone on the goddamn stage. And I mean cockroaches.

Like, there's nobody left on the entire. First, there was 100 people. No one's there. There's this one phone. I walked back at this little booth. I'm like, hello? As my manager, she's like, hi, Ed. I'm like, I'll get fired?

She's like, yeah. I'm like, God damn it. Hang up the phone, walk out, and one actor standing out there. It's a guy named Colin Ferguson. And he walks me to my dressing room and he goes, dude, this show's been a mess. By the way, this episode never even aired. That's how the show was like really coming apart at the scenes. Walk me there, walk me back.

Nicest guy ever. Director called later this afternoon. He just was like, buddy, I, you know, I go, I could tell you. you were trying to get me to do different stuff and stuff and you were doing it it's just like you're too big you're too handsome and you're just like we're wrong for the role you blew him away in the room like all they all excited for you just don't work for the role which was all fine show never even aired so i wouldn't have gotten any paid and then Colin Ferguson turns out to be the lead of eureka like a year later he and I are on that series and you for years now we're best friends and stuff

we're always going to look back and laugh on it but it was that kind of thing so it was like the whole thing it didn't really matter in the end in fact it's funny i'll never forget that moment of like get having a PA like say it was a phone call for you I'm like oh for me where did everybody go I had no addiction to Fox one day for that show on CBS yeah but your mother how I met your mother yeah there we go I had a little hole like right here and it's like like nothing you couldn't see nothing it was a hole in the scene of the gene like a little tiny hole yeah something that happened it was too late I was in the car already on pico.

Yeah. So the casting people were not going to see the hole. There was nowhere they were going to see the hole. Yeah. At the time, I didn't wear underwear.

I mean, I'm not wearing underwear. It's fucking 100 degrees. Uh-oh. So walking to how I met your mom is a producer session. Yeah. It's a,

this is a fucking true. It's a producer session. They're looking for somebody but they don't know who they're looking for. Yeah. My manager at the time said, just go in there and rock their world. It's a comedy.

Yeah. Just going there and rock their world. Yeah. So it was a scene where I was sitting down and I have to get up. And something happened, dog. There's three women in the room and a gay guy. And I'm sitting down and I get up and the pant got caught. Like this could only happen to me.

The pant got caught in something. And I got up. It just went and it ripped. You heard it go like the gene just rip or the cordon or whatever the fuck I had on, ripped. And I stood up and my ball was hanging And I looked at all of them like You like the Cuban Negro

And they fucking fell out They fell out And then I just ran with it I just ran with it after that You like the Cuban Negro I'm sorry That was just way before Harvey Weinstein This is 12 years ago I'm going off about my nut

I didn't have underwear My wife didn't do the laundry I just went off They were dying Yeah I remember them going Thank you for coming in And I was halfway to my car My agent calls me good bro

go back. You didn't read for them. Oh, my God. We were in there talking about the rip in the pan for so long. They go, go, go back. I went back, I read, they're like, thank you for coming back. Oh, my God, you cracked this episode. They were smitten. They gave me the job. By the time I put the key in,

the call came in. Go to your fitting. Go to your fitting. Go to your fitting. And the next day, I went in there, the director hated me. When he looked at me, I can just see his face just go, not this guy. And if you watch the episode today, I'm basically an extra. They gave me like $2,300 to be an extra.

They cut my line out and they made me sit there. And I mean, I was in and out of there. Like, that's how much they hated me. But that again, then you'll probably see that director again. He'll request you. That guy's perfect. That guy's great. It's like everybody's so kind of compartmentalized.

That's one thing to learn. One thing, you know, you're talking to like young actors. You're talking to, you know, people. It's so you can't. you should personalize some stuff and you should like you have a bad audition or you know you know you get a bag of dicks on your first five minutes or whatever you said it's um you should think about that and that's because that's part of your craft and part of your responsibility as an artist and how you grow you also got to realize you know what's something like

you know the director doesn't like you or just didn't go well or they cut all your lines i mean i've got dude i'd have like 400 hours of stuff that i've shot that's been cut out of movies and tv shows and stuff or and stuff that you didn't get wasn't you wasn't your fault it was like yeah dude you're just you weren't right for the role you weren't it didn't work like this is what we got and we were trying to like put you in and it was just like what's this fucking water bottle doing here got here and so it just it just is that kind of thing and so you know like I love that story that that one director like he requested you to come back you thought he hated you from before yeah but yeah but all of a sudden he's like I hate you for that job 10 years later yeah straight up hate you

for that job yeah oh god yeah I put them on the podcast oh nice nice we talked about you know what happened he goes there was so much going on yeah he goes i never really worked for adam since then you know yeah yeah it's so much too much going on it's just too much yeah that's what i say like before i didn't mean it as a comic i really loved the art i could teach it i love it i'm doing 27 years yeah all the way in the belly i have pre you know i didn't you said it i didn't uh i didn't put it together for the first two years yeah my first two years is a a comedian I did not put it together until I saw John Leguizamo do an open mic interesting and then it all oh so you got to work yeah you know Leguizamo was at a place with eight

people one guy getting a hand job under the table it's one 30 in the morning yeah on the hell's kitchen yeah and Legerzamo thought he was in Madison Square Garden it was the most brilliant thing I had ever seen like oh so he put it together for me I got in a plane went to Colorado and just went yeah yeah read books on it did the work books then just you know uh and i had a twist to it because i was going through a divorce and i would have to drop my daughter off on wednesdays and sundays and was so painful so i would have a joint in the ashtray and as soon as i would drop her off i'd get back in the car and i'd force myself even though i was crying and i'd smoke that joint i'd forced myself to go do comedy.

Wow. You have no idea what it's like to walk into a place. Wipe your tears as you're walking into the place. Yeah. And I have to be funny 15 minutes later. I did it on purpose. Like, I forced myself that on Wednesdays and Sundays, I used to drive to

Arvada at the time. It was a line dancing class from 7 to 8 and the comedy started at 8 for 4 people. Yeah. You know, and here I am broken inside, angry, Bro, hungry, you know, the bar gave you a drink ticket

and you cash it in for like a sandwich. Listen, I don't want to drink, but can I get an order of fries? Yeah. Like that type of shit. You just eat fries, you know, for the night. But trust me, those fries are good like a motherfucker. You put salt on each one. Like, each one, you pick it up and you're like,

you put ketchup on it. Like the Spanish food and the mustard that's to get a little more. You load them up, baby. A couple more carbs in there. And you sit there. Like, you know, even as an actor, a musician, you always what do you do when you get that down like when i told lee that one day you're going to be

sitting in a coffee room somebody's going to fall off the stage or and you every it's like every six months comes the moment of truth where you have to actually stop and look at yourself in the mirror and go am i getting anywhere with this and be as brutally honest with yourself like there's no time frame you committed to this yeah now you're going to take the route I've seen many people come and go and they quit And I'm not mad at them for quitting No this is a hard Leslie Kahn used to give parties to people who quit

If you quit acting and you're in a class Should you have a pizza party Literally like congratulations You got the fuck out Like almost like getting like like graduating From the program or something Like it was like literally like good job When was the last time you saw Leslie?

I talked to all times She's one of my dear friends Send it hello I will for sure I will for sure yeah I used to have a crush on her Oh everybody does Everybody has a crush on her Yeah I mean she's the queen

and she's just the Swedish thing on the planet and she's probably... Does she still live at the place all week and then drives home to a husband on the weekend? Like, fucking crazy. Crazy. No, you know what? She's crazy.

She does. By the way, here's an interesting side story. I actually, I think that her bedroom at the place is all furnished by stuff that I brought back. I called her from Indonesia. I was in Indonesia surfing. Got hurt. Hyper extended my knee, tore half my foot off.

Was in too much pain to fly home. But so I was just there in Bali with like a... With a... Because I can't. and limping around. But I just bought a house, and the house was empty, and I couldn't afford to put anything in it, but all this unbelievable furniture that was so cheap.

And, like, to buy you, buy all this furniture, and you'd ship it, and it would still be, like, a quarter of the price of what it would cost if you went down, like, on Melrose and bought all this beautiful Balinese crap. I called her, I go, I'm trying to fill out a shipping container. She's like, fill it up. So her whole bed is, like, canopy beds. You open, it was at that crazy acting school,

and you open up with this Balinese palace in this one room. Does she still have it like that? Yeah, but by then, like her and her husband, like they lived way out. They moved closer to town now. They live like not as far away. So she'll look like she can go home at night now too. But it's still the way it was. All day acting.

All dude. Same place. Same place. 17 freaking classroom. I think it's bigger now, man. 17 classrooms going full speed. It's just mayhem. Yeah.

And like so many young actors, so many actors have been able to like, you like, you were talking like, how do you make the ends meet? Like right now, it's May. and nobody got a pilot. Everybody's freaking out. How you can pay your mortgage? How you can do this? Everybody teaching classes, everybody working around, you know, coaching, everybody.

It's such a good ecosystem for actors learning like, you know, dude, I didn't even get an audition. I didn't even get an audition. I need a new manager. Who's your manager? Do you know anybody? Your agent. And so it's just like, you know, the best thing that I think that you created was a community for people to really be able to just figure out what's going on, figure out the business, get a breath, you know, like, it's all comes at you so fast. And I mean, and it's Hollywood.

It's crazy. not going to learn anything going and hanging out the ivy or getting drunk on some club you know on ivar some bullshit you got to like talk to people who are working and understand it and and that's um that's the kind of thing like you know like like those kids you're talking about the comedy store they don't know what the hell's going on they want to be a comic they're paying five dollars to do five minutes that and that's and that's all they know about the business and they you know once they get you know it's a wizard of odds you want it so bad you want it so bad but you just see like you know you see rogan on a special but you don't understand what Rogan, you know, what it took to get from doing, paying for five minutes to get into

that. Yeah. No, no, no. People have, I always thought that you just went into a room and talked. Like, when I saw comedians, like, when I were watching Dave Brenner, I figured that he just went somewhere and they just gave a microphone and he did a new hour. Like, I thought it was that easy. Yeah. Until you get on stage. And then you're like, it's not, you know, like, you're fucking around at work being funny by the water cooler. Not the same thing. Then you get on stage. It's a big difference. Now you have to adjust that comedy. And that's a journey, just learning that. Like, before, I didn't mean it that way.

I loved doing comedy. I wouldn't do anything else. It's funny that mine and Rogan is a complete different animal, and I'm rogan the decent individual, never got in trouble with the law. But our love is because when we sit together and talk about comedy, it's a science. We have it down to a science.

I learned from him. He learns from me. I just, again, I don't like all the shit that comes in it. I thought I wanted this to be like Lenny Bruce. I opened up for a few strippers. We get a bag of heroin. We go back to the hotel. We shoot some heroin.

We sleep and we wake up at 2 in the afternoon. We go get a freshly squeezed orange juice and a donut. When I read Ladies and Gentlemen, Lenny Bruce, that's what I thought this was going to be like. And it was completely different. I love the comedy store. I love what it represents. I love everything about it.

The only thing I complain I have is, the numbers. Art meets commerce, man. Art meets commerce. I mean, we were talking about Led Zeppelin early. I mean, how many of those guys ended up so broke and lost all their money? Who was it just, who's the guitarist from, is it Glenn Tipton from Judas Priest?

He's got Alzheimer's sick. He's having to sell off his rights to the royalties to the music that he has because he got invested in some golf course and went belly up and lost everything. And like, and he needs medical care now. And I mean, this Judas. I mean, this is like, those guys have been touring since I was in diapers. I saw him in 1980, Jewish Steel, five nights at the parade in the law. A fucking theater in New York.

And I think that was in Def Leppard open for them. I think it was Def Lepp. That was early Def Leopard. Yeah. On through the night. High and dry. When they were, when they like sounded like ACDC, before they went poison. I saw ACDC with Ted Nugent with Bon Scott at the Garden on weekend Warriors tour.

And the Highway to the Hell Tour. I saw the Highway to Hell Tour. I think it was a day on the green or something. Like, I was a kid. I saw the, I got to see Bon Scott. That was a great thing. That's tremendous. Last night, and today I went to freeze.

Yeah. At cryotherapy. Yeah, yeah. And I had them put on squealer. Oh, no. How long are you in there for? Three minutes and 15 seconds. That's it.

That's it. And do you come, do you feel? Oh, yeah. Seriously. Oh, it feels tremendous. I go in there throw punches, knees. I stretch my back. I throw kicks.

do jumping jacks three minutes you breathe on just focus on your breathing wow all you do is never done it never done it do bend downs yeah don't you jump up in the air but the most important thing is it's tube and fresh oxygen yeah so your breathing goes back to being natural and if you don't breathe like that you're going to lose it because you're going to run out of cardio you got move for three minutes you're throwing hooks you ducking punches you get chased by eight Puerto Rican, you know what I'm saying? You're just moving in there, three minutes. So if you lose your breath, you're going to have to open that door and go out.

Wow. You're going to have like a panic attack. So it's help you because it makes, what's that thing, flight or fight response? Yeah, fight or flight response. It makes that shit keep bound people. Yeah, they freak out. They snap. Yeah, they snap.

So you got to go in there, breathe, watch the guy and listen to music. I go in there, I got five or six songs. I got ready for this one? Yeah. Slaves and bulldole. is my fucking bad moh off a bad moh finger absolutely i go in there one time i played rhinoceros is that yeah yeah yeah rhinosaurus or something how the hell you go the hell you skip that song da da da da da da da da da i play uh that's one of their songs is like four seven time or six seven time

it's a sick oh that matt cameron their drummer's oh and when i lived in seattle somebody from that band had a bar i think the bass player all the drum when he played that day like he hung out every night at the ball. You went to the ball. I never saw him. That was a scene, man. That was a scene. And I could just, you ever once in a while you sit there and you go, Cornell, Kurt and Lane,

all gone. We're all gone. And our boy is still fucking making music. The drummer, the prodigy, still going to the mall getting chased by TMZ. Yeah, yeah, for food fighters. Yeah. There's a pizza place. Does he own that Lee?

I don't know. Do you see the pizza place? It's his picture. Yeah, Dave Grohl. They grow. Right on fucking river. right where the old Italian place used to be. There's a pizza place that opened, and that's his neighborhood.

He used to go eat at a Mexican joint, Tony's, Big Tonys. It could be. And people, the lady told me, he goes, he would come in here every day. And one day, people would knock on the glass and wave at him. We didn't know who the fuck he was. It's Dave Groh. Some dirtbag musician. And then one day I go to that mall up here, whatever's up here.

The Sherman Oaks Gallery at one. Yeah, right up here. And I'm bump in Daddy Brown. He goes, the last time I was here, I saw Dave Groh getting chased by it. TMZ. And that five minutes you're here, fuck you! And it's Dave Groh running with his daughter in the mall getting chased. And then I saw him

an hour later in like a luggage store with it. You know, like just fucking hanging out. But yeah, he comes out. Eddie Vedder made it. Maybe because Eddie Vedder made it. It's just a weird every once in a while you start like talking about all those Seattle bands and you realize that man, all those singers are gone. Let me give some shoutouts.

Shoutouts. We'll get you out of here. I want to give a shout out to Mishie who came down last night. My man Gino at Speedweed. 47 Ronan, Adam Hughes, Kyle Dempsey, my man Bob Lillinger's

to your mother, I said, happy birthday, Christoph Wankas and Skecky Situation Podcast. I will be at the motherfucking taping this special

on the 4th, but I'll also be at Closer Casino on June 17th. That's my only date in June. I'm relaxing. I'm going to put together

the fucking package for the book. I love it. So I got two months to put a book together. It's been too long. friend let me ask you something what do you got coming out you got because you said you were finishing up a show yeah like we're talking about actors being scared so the pilot i did didn't go

um just to finish up this little movie i'm been doing a bunch of stuff with discovery and travel travel uh discovery communications bought travel so i've already shot a pilot for them a history show that i'm really proud of um kind of an unsung heroes of history um we did a great pilot i don't know if or when it's going to air or what network it'll air on. I hope, you know, it's supposed to be for travel, but travel's going through a whole big, a big shake-up right now.

And then I just, I'm executive producing Cousteau's Ocean Mysteries, actually. The Cousteau's Jean-Michel, Philippe and Celine, we're going science discovery. We're doing 10 episodes. Got to go put them in some boats and go look for some stuff.

I grew up on John Cousteau. Everybody did, dude. First family of the That motherfucker Balls of Steel Yeah, and we're sending his son and his grandchildren back out there and go make him look for some more

He was fighting sharks years ago. They're fearless, they're crazy. They think I'm jumping off the boat with them. I'm like, I'll surf with sharks, but I'm not going to go swim down in their neighborhood. Those people that walk the tightrope, the Wallencas? Yeah. They're like the Welenkers of the ocean.

They don't give a fuck. No, they're all about curiosity. They're all about, and they're really, you know, tip of the spear when it comes, environmental aspects. So we'll be tying in sort of, you know, how the science allows us to like you know explore the sea in different ways and also how we can you know keep preserving our oceans so at quinn it was a pleasure seeing you great to see you my friend

when is the new season of one day at a time per me they're writing it right now so that's that's when you go back to work on i have no idea if i'm going back i mean i don't know it was it was it was yeah it's all good are you excited about chicago ufc are you still a ufc guy oh man huge ufc guy yeah yeah what fire are you most waiting for right now i want to see what happens Well, God, what I'm... You know, I got to say, I mean, like, D.C. moving back up to heavyweight is... People forget that he won the Strike Force Grand Prix at Heavyweight, you know. He could be a beast at Heavyweight.

He could be a beast. And if he goes... But Stepey, I mean, Steepay, I mean, he's been fighting killers. I mean, he's been fighting savages and he, you know... He's got the heart of a fucking... Yeah, and he's got... People don't quite give him the respect, I think, that he deserves. And, you know, and now, after that last...

performance by Amanda Nunes. I would love to see her step up. Someone's got a challenge cyborg. Yeah, no, that one is so, I don't know. I mean, so, you know, the DFC is just, it never ends. It's always fascinating. Just name a division. You and I can just take the top 10.

On June 9th, we're doing a live thing here, a stream for Romero against Wittaker. Oh, that's another one. If you, Wittaker's been out of them. You're welcome to come up and commentate with me. Oh, that would be fantastic. We'll do it right here. We'll play. Sort of like a live, a fight.

A fight companion. Fight companion. Oh, perfect. But this has stats. They do it up. Matt Militello does it up really good. It's going to be on sportsbook. TV, and we're also going to have it at other places.

But that's going to be the best experience. It'll have all the graphics. Yeah, so that's what we're doing. June 9th. Whatever time the U.S. starts, we will be there, motherfuckers. Nice. So I want to thank you again.

I want to thank my girl Kishi for always inspiring. The Christ Killer, and I'll see you, Motherfuckers Memorial Day. Ready to go, Tip Top Magoo. Thank you very much. much, Mr. Quinn. I love you, Coxuckers. I'll see you, Memorial Day. Have a great weekend. Stay safe.

Kick that meal, Lee.