The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #600 - Joey Alvarado

Episode Date: July 16, 2018

Joey Alvarado, a Jiu Jitsu coach who holds a Black belt under Roger Machado and is also the creator of the kettle-jitsu program, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.   This podcast is brought to you by:   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.     Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 07/15/2018.
  

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You know what I'm saying? Anyway, get ready to rock, motherfuckers. It's the church of what's happening now coming at you. Kick that fucking meal, Lee. Monday, the 16th, the motherfuckerucking July. It's official. The year's half over.

Here we go. Oh shit. The church of what's happened now coming at you. on a Monday morning It's a beautiful day to be alive Wash that pussy Shine your shoes Brush your teeth

It's a shit shower A shave And a shampoo motherfuckers Don't live in a disco Forget about the rap What? Oh shit

What? Talk about Pop music Talk about Pop music Talk about What? Pop music

Hey, Pop music Huh, ha, Pop music Who the fuck you think you're dealing with On a Monday morning, you bad motherfuckers Uncle Joey coming direct From the studio of debt I got my man, Professor Joey Alvarado

The inventor, Ketul Jitsu, you motherfuckers That's right, I'm back Einstein and Benson the light bulb Professor invented Keduljitsu And the fucking flying Jew, aka the Christ killer, aka the Haseed of Death Fucking Lisa, yeah, how are you guys doing?

Listen, if you came to any of the Vegas shows, I want to thank you had a great fucking weekend with you guys You know I've been home after the Netflix thing So that's exactly why I scheduled it just to be Peaceful go to the seafood bar I saw a lot of you guys at the bar I saw a lot of you guys outside smoking refa later on that night Listen to had a great time thank you very much for coming out

And supporting comedy what's going on professor Just hustling man getting good baby boy You saw an interesting picture and that's what made me call you Saw an interesting picture of me Yeah, you put a picture of yourself like half nude coming out of the shower, looking like fucking St. Lazarus without the dogs. That's St. Lazarus. You're looking at St. Lazarus without the dogs, right? Did I look that old right there?

He's the man. That's the man. That's the man, San Lassel. And he's pretty cut up, though, so I think he's got a compliment. He was cut up because food was tough. It's like Jesus on the cross. He wasn't cut up because he was going to fucking Alberta's class. He was cut up because things are tough.

Things are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There wasn't no fucking, you know. Okay. There wasn't no top of pito. So you saw the picture. There was no tapatio. There wasn't no sauce.

There was no cheese for the nachos. But I saw a picture of you and it was pretty interesting. You said I'm 47 years old. I turned 47 in a couple weeks. And you started talking about body weight exercises and kettlebell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the best that you've ever felt in years. And it was just interesting because at the age of like 40 or something, you get this thing called like sarco pania, something like that. Sarko.

Pinias or something. Sarkopena where it's the, you lose a pound of muscle every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a bad pound of muscle because it gets replaced by fat. It's like when you look at, when you go to a steakhouse and you cut a steak and you see the marbled fat in it. Yeah. It just gets, there's more fat and less muscle, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

I didn't know what's called. I mean, there's a name for it. Cycropinia, something like that, please. If anybody knows, tweet it. I'll fucking know. I'm not. Sorry, is it sarcopena? Psychophenia.

That's something like that. Sarkophenia. What is the sarcopenia? Let's see. I think it's a disease. Yeah, you're absolutely, you're absolutely, sarco penia, yeah. Sarko?

At some point in your 30s, you start to lose muscle mass and function. The cause is age-related sarcopenia. S-A-R-C-O-P-E-N-E-A. I mean, I mean, I didn't know it was at 30. I didn't know it was at 40. I just thought like as you got to be. out older, I didn't know it started at 30. That's pretty cool. I didn't know what's called sarco pinia either.

Yeah, they said you can use 3 to 5% of your muscle mass each decade after 30. Yeah, a decade is 10 years. So that's why that's why a lot of people promote like resistance training and stuff like that. That's why it's important so you can maintain that muscle, you know? So what happens if you lose muscle? Obviously, like the fat, but do you, is there an issue with your body? Like, does it hard to move? Not necessarily. It's just like, you know, like you've seen how like, like,

like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right. The guy is not nearly his muscular. And so it kind of looks like he's like a little bit shrivel, more shriveled up, you know? But like, because he had so much muscle before. There's no way you can maintain that forever. Right.

I mean, that's the thing about body orders. But like, yeah, so like you just have to just, you know, do some kettlebell training and stuff like that. Eat, right. And then you're good to go. Now, I mean, you're not going to have any health problems. So over 40, what do you really strive for? Because, I mean, a lot of people listen to the podcast a lot younger than that.

But you know what, man, if I knew what I knew today, I would have never stopped lifting. Yeah. Like, I loved all that shit. I got a mom and drugs and comedy or whatever. Because even when you go to prison, you take good care of yourself in prison. You take great shape. Great shape between the running and the fucking. I saw Kate Fear with Robert Niro.

I know how much you got chiseled in there. I was like, holy shit. I love these people I give up carbs. In jail, they give them carbs for you. You know what I'm saying? They do it for you. No, they give you nothing but carbs in prison. They give you nothing but carbs.

They give you everything to fill you, you know, bread, shitty white bread, shitty fucking grains, shitty rice. I couldn't imagine. It's all one level below what you usually fucking get at a shitty fucking restaurant. The rumor I heard is that Jared gained a lot of weight back. Sure, no sperm shakes. He's in there drinking those six inches.

You don't eat six inches in jail. You don't eat six inches in 12 inches. Poor Jared, Ben. Poor fucking Jared. Poor Jared. Well, not really poor Jared. He kind of molested kids. What exactly did Jared do?

Did he molest kids? I thought so, right? Or maybe child or maybe. Yeah, yeah, he wasn't meant that he was in. Oh, my God. How horrible. So anywhere, we're back to the... The last 10 years, we've seen, you know, maybe the last five years, we've seen a lot of lives just go down the fucking toilet.

Yeah, man. Like, you're about to fucking, you're about the... You know, we're about to see. Oh, you know. One of the greatest, not to me, because I was never really a big motherfucker. I liked him, but then I saw him when I first started comedy, and he was such a cunt. That's the only word I could describe him. I'm sorry to say that, Cosby.

Really? You thought he was a cuck up a cuntzby? He was such a piece of shit when I met him. Really? That I just stopped. Like, I never really liked him all that much anyway. I liked the joke that he had about Buckbuck, because I related to it. The one special when he's sitting down.

I kind of related to that but he wasn't rich I never caught any of his early no he wasn't Richard prior to me so that moment with me in Colorado Springs that split moment why people say don't meet your idols I mean well don't meet your idols just leaving how it is you don't need to take paper you don't need to do nothing I went he wasn't my idol I just looked up to him as a yeah course course and as I walked over he was giving a lecture on comics who were dirty They're just bad for the business and they're lazy. And then he started like just fucking destroying Eddie Murphy. And I turned my back and walked away.

I go, you know what? One thing if he was white and destroying Eddie Murphy, but to be black and destroying Eddie Murphy, your own fucking brother and whatever in arms. And what phase was Eddie Murphy? This has to be 92. You couldn't touch Eddie Murphy. Fuck him.

Fuck God. Delirious when he... No, this was, this was, this was, this is. is 92 so this is what is that already delirious came out already raw came out already fucking uh so he was at the peak uh you know coming to america already came out what's the other one they made where they when he shoots deloress and a pinky toe all of fucking night which is a work of fucking it's a masterpiece in my world dude eddie murphy made a couple of dogs and let me tell you something and i'm gonna tell you people how it is because i'm honest with you i was in college when hollum nights came out what time

What year the Harlem Nights come out? I think it came out in 92. Let me tell you an interesting thing about Harlem Nights at the time. They came out a little earlier. 89. 89, Harlem Nights came out. I was in prison. Let me tell you something about Harlem Nights.

Now, when I saw a commercial for it, I'm never going to watch that movie. I thought it was just they put a bunch of black guys together. They put a bunch of funny black guys together just to put them together, just to take the money out of your pocket. I watched that movie really. reluctantly four or five years later and today it has to be in one of my top ten comedies and maybe my top twenty nice Eddie Murphy was brilliant Richard Pryor was brilliant fucking Red Fox was brilliant Delaware was brilliant fucking uh who was the Italian of the 90s you know he was and do the right thing Danny Aiello okay was brilliant you know every every decade had a different

on that too our single hall what were we talking about do the right thing do the right no no Harlem night hard on nights was I said yes and no I look I can't remember right now yeah was I think he was wasn't I'm looking at right now let's see I love coming to America I think that's fucking good well two is coming out any day now what are you talking about coming to America no they did not make it to shut the fuck yeah yeah he was lying man he was in yeah he was what he was a crying man I must have been like a cameo or something okay so he was Wasn't it?

But he wasn't it, yeah. Yeah, he wasn't it. It's one of the first any more what I saw was Trading Places. That one. Oh, classic. Even to a kid.

Such a good one, man. And there's very few movies that, like, will fully stand up. Like, some movies now are even, are good, but like sometimes, like, this doesn't really stand up. I still like it, but like that. Yeah. All is, like, early stuff.

Dog, I got some bad news for you guys. Forty-eight hours still stands up. Oh, fuck yeah. Like a motherfucker. I love 48 hours. Let me tell you something about. Trading places, the prison scene. He still stands out as one of the top comedic scenes I've ever seen in my fucking life, okay?

That's up there with John Candy and Splash. That's how good fucking Eddie Murphy was in the prison scene. In the beginning, when he's the handicapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes up to the cops. I know I could probably do that whole scene. And fucking Hankoon. No, no, he was like, I was Asian Orange.

I was in. I was Asian Orange. The quarter blood technique. Yeah, no, the quarter blood technique. Oh, dude. was in the jail when he's like, so tell me, this is the line that killed. I'm a karate man. I'm a bit on the inside.

Are you signing out with this crazy white dude? See, my, I love Gentiles. They're the nicest people in the world. But you really want to get my dick hard. Give me a crazy redneck Gentile. Oh, my God. This guy was my personal bulldog just out of love. He just loved me, and I loved him.

But he loved doing cocaine. He loved two things in life, doing cocaine and fucking women. And I'm going to tell you something. to both of your faces. Never did somebody do two things that good as he did. And I used to see the woman he used to fuck on a daily night. And I remember one night he fucked this millionaire chick in his apartment. This guy was worth $3.

And he was telling me the story. Like I kept calling him. You know, you call somebody and don't answer the phone. You got to go over there and knock on the door. I'm like, where's the money from last night? Man, he paid me. I mean, we were always cool. But every morning, he had a different story about what.

What he did, how he got tied up in a jacuzzi one time and almost drowned, that he picked up a Chinese chick, and the chick tied him up to a rubber doll. I mean, this guy had out there, like, he was out there. Was he, like, really good-looking? He was good-looking, southern accent, tall. You know, he probably had a big dick. If I had a guess, he had a big dick. He was six-for-fourth, North Carolina, and he was fucking a walking ride.

Wow. Like I said, I was a man. He's just always doing bloke. too and he he do blow at night and when he would do blow he'd really get funny and the accent would come out and he was a tar heel all the way Carolina tar yeah if you wanted to throw fists talks and the shit about the tar heels he would throw some fists for you too and you know I lived in South Carolina for a long yeah yeah the game cox and all that shit those people throw fist over that shit yeah but this dude was telling me a story one time how he fuck somebody like guys somebody big like

somebody worth millions of dollars. And he's telling me this that she's staying at this hotel and that she loves that cocaine and all this shit. And he goes, man, you should have seen. She came in there. I just told her throw your fur on the fucking...

He goes, her fur alone was $80,000, Joey Dears. He goes, I came on it. Just to come on it. I was wiping my dick on it. I don't even know how he got on poor Carl Hall. If he's listening to anybody, he lives in Columbus.

If anybody gets a hold of the car Hall of Tom, I was talking about him and I sent him my love. He had a great brother, Vince, who was a fisherman, and every day he would go fishing in the roaring forked fucking river when I was a kid and he called me in the fucking room. He'd knock. I didn't even have a phone, and he fucking cooked me fish every night. Him and his girlfriend Patty, and she was chubby, so Carl would call her fatty.

I mean, Patty, I think it was Patty, but he would call a fatty. I never forget that. Hey, fatty, I mean, Patty, how are you doing? And she would say, fuck you, Carl. Oh my God, evil, evil, evil, evil. So what else is going on, Professor? You've been telling you, Jit, Jit, so yeah, that was just interesting. Now, for people who are at home, and you're 35 years old, barbells towards kettlebells, what's the big difference?

Explain the people at home listening. I mean, for me, I feel like the kettlebell is a more functional thing. You could be in a beef. You can be in a bind and have an hour to work out in a day and really do a great workout with a 35-pound kettle belt, you know, if you know what you're doing. Exactly. But then at the other hand, you know, I grew up on weights. I grew up on a straight ball. I don't know nothing about an easy curl bar.

I don't know nothing about an ISO press machine. I know front, I know bench, close grip, behind the neck, front of the neck, bent over row, one-arm pulls. You take the bar and you stick on the corner. Any Puerto Rican bar. You take the thing and you put in the middle and you can make your own tea bar right at the house. I know all these people. I had friends that make kettlebell, kettle.

Hell yeah, man. Pull machines, pull down. So at what age do you say, you know what? I don't really want to do a conventional fucking workout no more. I don't have four days. I don't have time to do my chest, my shoulders,

you know, because it's a push and pull routine, right? So it pushes chest, shoulders, and squat. And then pull is... Just all, like, chest. No, it's curls. Well, just really, I mean, if you do like traditional body bodybuilding style training, then they do like split routines and they'll do chest and back one day. Right.

But I mean, you can do it, mix it up any way you want, really. There's no really set way. It's just really how you prefer to do it. Chest back and triceps and then. Shoulders and back. Shoulders, traps, shoulders, traps, and fucking biceps. Some people like to train like that. Six days.

But then you get a kettlebell. That's more functional. So I do 10 sets of fucking swings in 10 minutes, and I've worked basically every muscle group in my fucking body. You worked a lot, yeah, but you could... A lot. Like, still with the kettlebell, one of my principles that I try to teach is that I try to...

We try to push, pull, hinge, squat, lunge, and all the workouts, because those are the movements that we do the most in their day life. And that fucking burpee cock suck. Yeah, yeah. I can't do a burpee. Yeah, yeah. There's ways you can modify.

I have like a ton of different burpity variation. Listen, you can make a burpee a hundred different ways. When I came out of prison, I did so many burpees in prison. When I went to Joe Namer Football Camp is where I discovered the burpee and the karaoke, where you have to move with you on the more sideways. Before you did anything at Joe Namer Football Camp, I was talking to somebody that day about camps. Joe Namer Football Camp.

He had gone to, I think, Michael Jordan Basketball Camp. We were talking about camps, and I said, dog, I went to Willis Reed basketball camp. I went to a bunch of camps. I went to offense, defense, football. football camp that's Jack Lamper and Jack ham are you kidding me if you wanted to be a lineback and there was a fucking camp that taught you how to be not only a lineback about how to kill people yeah from that position I went to five-star basketball camp but the best camp I ever went to my life

was Joe Namath football camp and the reason behind it was that it just wasn't for quarterbacks like a lot of quarterbacks went up there but it was I like I like They did something that I had never done before. As soon as you got to Joe Namath football camp, you went to your room, you picked up your package, you went to your fucking dorm, you put your thing down, and you immediately went to your age group,

whatever, your age group, or what group they were going to put you in, eight to nine, nine to 13, 13 to 16. I think I went when I was like in the seventh grade, the first time, the second time,

I got left back. That's why I said the first time. And I went from the recommendation of a friend of mine Chuck McBreen the first thing they did it at five Joe name of football camp was after you put your fucking clothes down there was no food there was nothing They made your report to a circle and you had a they tested you on the 40 That's the first thing you did Sunday morning fucking you get that nine o'clock first thing you do the 40 bam No stretch no nothing 40 ready boom boom boom they give you two shots So you did it, you got to the front of the back of the line,

then you did it again, and they took the best speed. And you didn't know why. But from Monday morning to Saturday when you left, at 7 a.m., you got up at like 6.45, no breakfast, no nothing. And at 7 a.m., you reported to a field. That's how ahead of the game they were. And he'd make you do karaoke's, burpees, and then they'd make you do,

10, 20, 30, 40, 50, or 50 yard. Five of each guys. How old are you? 12. Jesus Christ. But this is what you do. This is what you do as a kid. This is how you learned to...

I've done football conditioning, man. That's no joke. But they didn't let you run sprints. What they made you do was move your hands to touch your head, and they want you to kick your legs out. Kick it. You know how hard dad is, guys? No sprints.

Do not fucking see me sprinting. because you do 25 push-ups in his heat. And you had to do him with a helmet on. No show the pads, a helmet. No pads, just a helmet. And you had to get like in a position. Go, boom! And you had a start.

But he made you go like this with your hands. Go back and forth. Right now, I'm going all the way down to my sides. Whatever leg was extended is the opposite hand. But he wanted your foot to be pointed. That was it. And then you went right to the dorm and you ate whatever the fuck you wanted to eat, French toes, cereal, apples, peaches, whatever.

and then Friday they took you back before you got on the bus and they said let's do your 40 again and you did your 40 again and do you know that 99% of the people broke their time from Sunday just the week you know just stretching like remember when I saw Diagostino's girlfriend before she before they got married I saw her run one day and I had a stop professor I had to stop what I was doing and watch her run because her running the form was perfect I had not seen that years. I had a friend who ran marathons. I used to watch him run Hudson County Park when I was a kid. And his form was breathless. Like when you see somebody running, that's why when you run,

you can't run, you're like, remember when Bert ran the 26 mile? Right. I took my hat off to him. I didn't torture him. Like the other guys that made fun of him or anything. What pissed me off is that he didn't go to a coach because just three sections with a coach just to teach you little thing. It's like if I come to you and go, Professor, I got two weeks to fight John Wick. You know what I'm saying? I got two weeks. What is the move? We got three moves. We got to pass the guard.

I got to break his arm and that's it. We got three weeks to fight John Wick. I don't know any jiu-jitsu. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly, man. I mean, the take on a marathon without training or anything. He didn't train. He told me the other day that it took him on his body a month.

Yeah, I believe it. His body, it took him. He was in pain. He was in pain. He couldn't sleep. He had different problems. He had everything everything that you know at the 14 mile mark he says people stop falling apart Oh I hell yeah

Miles you see people shit in their I did a 10k once and that shit was fucking hard how long is it 10k like how many miles six miles? 6.6 miles it's something like that man something crazy like and I was kind of training for it my friends that were stationed at forked back They wanted to do it then they decided they weren't gonna do it so I stopped training and then the last minute they decided to do it again and we did it anyway After a night of drinking That shit was fucking the next day I was toast, man. Do you incorporate running now? I do, I do hiking because, like, I see you hike with the dog. Yeah, I hike with my dog.

So, like, I'll do, like, not a full-on sprint uphill, but I'll do, like, 30-second, one-minute intervals of just when I kind of run at a brisk pace, but not full-on because of my knee. So. That's a little something for leave from Las Vegas. I'm definitely expecting your seat now. You see, he directed that right to you, too, man. He projected that.

Oh, he's a monster. I don't smile that bad. He's a clean. He's a clean. He's got those fucking, like, those fish, those cheese fish. Yeah, yeah, you have to get him into your class so we can lose a way quicker. Because he has to stop eating fish. If he doesn't stop eating fish, I'm going to end up passed out here one day.

A nice chili and sea bass. A chillian sea bass. Every fucking day. With some lemon sauce, nice. Bro, it's weight watches. Watchers, can we talk about adding some points to these fish options because he's using it for the free points? No, that's what you do. If I told you can eat bananas all day and not gain a pound, what are you going to eat?

You're going to eat bananas all day. If you drink the banana, you're going to fucking gain a lot of way. But if you eat the banana, you'll be fine. You can eat ten bananas and be fine. And just pop little farts like that from the time. I sat in Southwurst. I took the six four. I took the seven 40 a.m.

This morning. And I took a dump before I got on the plane. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. The appellant of the night before. Nice. And I sat next to this lady on the plane. She was a little chubby, cute.

And there was a skinny girl that was in the window. The whole plane was packed. It was just me and the skinny chick in the fucking back of the plane. Because when you get the bird bank, you get the board from the bank of the plane. Uh-huh. So this girl's like got long legs and she's sitting there. Like, you know, she got the minute. I don't give a fuck.

I have put my earphones on. But 20 minutes in route, I blasted one of these. Oh, my God. And it was warm. and they all started staring at the chubby chick next time because i play it cool like i i'm saying i play it like i don't even smell it you passed a buck over oh my god i blasted three of them i could see her sitting there she knew people looking at it she could feel the eyeballs of people looking at her poor so oh my god she was very sweet we talked at the end i even said oh what did you

smell that she's like oh my god that was awful Oh, no, I ate turkey. I had the rose turkey. That's no points. That's not turkey. No points. I had an open turkey sandwich. This is the reason why I go to the south point.

I can't lie to it. Because I go back to my room, 9.30, quarter to ten, and I get room service. They bring me an open-faced turkey sandwich. America doesn't even know what those are anymore. Yeah, yeah. It's two people's food. It's two pieces of white bread with white meat turkey on top. Yeah.

Got a little side of stuffing, a little side of mashed potatoes. I know what the open-faced are. Containers of fucking cranberry sauce and fucking gravy on the side. I don't even, I don't touch nothing else. I just take a little bit of gravy, salt and pepper, and I just eat the fucking white bread and the turkey like a sandwich. I don't need the mashed potatoes of the stuffing. That reminds me of a sandwich that I used to get at this place called Lovebirds.

It was like the Thanksgiving turkey sandwich. I love it. It was just like Thanksgiving on the sandwich and strawberry sauce and stuffing and oh my God. I love turkey. I fucking love turkey. But it's got to be perfect turkey. Like I went somewhere a couple of months ago. turkey tastes like it was fucking Thanksgiving it was fucking June they started turkey from

fucking Thanksgiving fuck that shit I like my turkey fresh bitch fresh professor how did you stumble upon cattle bells what made you same thing you just were like no like what happened was like this is when I owned a gym in Highland Park and you know we didn't know what the fuck we're doing man and uh I had this business partner bill and he was a good business partner he's always trying to figure out different things to do and he was like hey why don't we get a kettlebell instructor and then i was like i was like you know i've heard good things about i heard it's good for martial arts but i have no idea what to do so i was like yeah let's check it out let's try it you know so then we uh he did the research and he found a certified instructor he started teaching he

taught like the basics you know and um like you know back then nobody really did anything outside of the basics, really. Nobody really did anything. And I was like, man, I really like this kettlebell stuff. But they just do the same shit over and over and over. And people weren't coming to the boot camp anymore, you know? My back was jacked up. And then after a while, I was just like, you know what, man? Like, I started, that's when I started experimenting. Actually, man, like, when I first started developing kettle jissue, I was sitting in the back I used to live in the back of my gym, man. What a fucking nightmare with my crazy ass dog and girlfriend, too. Oh my God. Anyway, I was stone. And then I was like, you know what?

And I think you could, I bet you could do jihitsu moves with the kettlebell. So I just would open my door, jump on the mat, grab a kettlebell, and I started doing like hip escapes and rocking chairs. I was like, wow. And then that's when I just opened up Pandora's box. And I just started experimenting and started developing all kinds of other shit, you know. Swings from a fighting stance, throwing punches with kettlebells, kettlebells, kettlebell flows, all that stuff, you know. Like nobody had ever really done that before. And then I stumbled upon a guy named Mark DeGross. He's the one who actually started the Onit Academy.

And he had a website who's selling some kettlebells. And he had some pretty cool videos. He was thinking outside of the box, but not like me, but I liked what he was doing. So I went there to buy some kettlebells and to network. So I got the kettlebells. I'll say, hey man, I want to show you this stuff that I've been developing called Kettle Jitsu just to see what you think. you know, and I started doing some flows and stuff. And he just was like, he was like, hey man, can I film this?

And then he started filming it. And then he was like, dude, we need to do a DVD. And then I was like, really? You want to do a DVD? I was like, cool, man. So that's when it, when it all started. After I did that first DVD, it sold in like 30 countries worldwide. And some people embrace it and were like, cool, finally something new with the kettlebell.

And the traditionalists were like, man, you're not supposed to do that with a kettlebell. You're going to hurt people. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. and then like I had I was like kind of new to the fitness energy so I didn't know how things worked but since people were buying the DVD people started asking to get certified by it and I was like what he's like my business partner Mark was like yeah man people are going to want to get certified I was like wow that's crazy so I started having certifications and people flying out from around the world to come out and get certified and flying me to like Italy and stuff

like that which is freaking dope man I mean it's pretty cool man it's very it's humbling and flattering. Now, if your workout is an hour long, how much time is involved with kettlebells. It's like, this is what do we do? And that's a misconcession. People don't realize that, like, with me, body weight and kettlebell are equal. Like, you should, I really feel like you should master your body. It's your body, you know? That's what martial arts is, is mastery of your body, you know? Martial arts, it is movement, you know, so you should know how to do forward and backward rolls and burpees and all kinds of stuff like that, you know, to establish that my body connection. you know plus the way I teach it's imperative to warm up with a body weight only with no resistance at all

get your joints ready get your core firing and everything before you pick up that kettlebell and start swinging it around and that way it prevents injury so in my classes we do 30 minutes of body weight 30 minutes of kettlebell an hour of kettlebell would be fucking brutal yeah it would be fucking brutal so the thing is we start off with mobility then we do a little core work then we do an ad workout then we do a body weight workout and then it's time for the kettlebell warm up. And we do a kettlebell warm up, we do intervals, and then we'll turn it into maybe a flow or a pyramid for the end of the workout.

So when I watch you on Facebook Live, that's the end of the class, is the kettlebell? You're catching the last bit of the class right there most of the time. If it's the body weight, that's probably like our main body weight workout. And if you see the kettlebell workout, that's probably like the last two minutes of the class. How many days a week do you go live at 5.30 with the kettlebell? It's Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

5.30 am. So that's like usually I'll post like that workout right after that. And then I teach in the evenings and on Saturdays as well. When I came from Cuba, the biggest thing was in the morning was that fucking dude that just died. What's the dude? The inventor blender. What's the inventor blender? Yeah, he made a blender too. He became fucking rich off.

He just died a couple years ago. It was 90. He kept the whole country fit in the 50s. He would come on at 9 in the morning and you did jump in Jacksonville. Jack La Lane? Jack La Lane. Yeah, Jack La Lane. was a fucking man.

What did he? Didn't he? Didn't he invented the juicer or something? He may have invented the juicer. Yeah, because I remember like he used to do the commercials. Jackal Lane. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jackal Lane was way ahead of his time. Yeah, he's his juicer. It was a juicer. Yeah, yeah. He was awesome, man. He was fucking. But I remember coming from pure. And black and white in the morning.

I don't know what time was. My mom used to work at Jack La Lane. She said she used to work, I mean, train at Jack La Lane's gym over here. My mom used to tell me that. Jack Lane Hellspot. Yeah. that came out later on. But when I first started watching Jacqueline,

I would mind more. And I remember, like, after about a month, I would get up and do what he was doing. You know, and in those days, there wasn't no fucking kettle bows. He was doing this with his own. Yeah, yeah. But, like, the body weight stuff, he was doing a lot of body weights.

He was great. He would wear, like, a tight little body suit and shit. And he was old. Even then. Even then, he was. You know, in 1966, he had to be 30-something for him. He's probably like one of, like, the first, like, fitness stars. You know what I'm saying?

Like, he was a fitness star back then. There weren't no fitness stars back then. He was a pioneer, man. Jackalaine, Google him. He invented the juicer. Like, he was the first thing I was putting carrots and olives and fucking spinach. Smart man, man. People use those juices like crazy.

Like, when he was serving it, like, now they figured out if you put lemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it if you had apple? Yeah, apple. Great, but that's the part. Yeah. Now you have chefs that know how to do the combinations and stuff like that. Yeah.

Jack Elaine would just make carrot. There was no ginger. Put some spinach. Yeah, like a piggy ear in there and shit and drink it and fucking people were buying it. Throw a raw egg in there. He used to tell me to like a juice of ham, juice of donut. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Juice of donut. What's the fruit? Juice of donuts. Some kale. Can you imagine if you like make kale juice with people and with pineapple and whatever concoction, but you drew something they didn't know in there. People were like something in there is great. You know, you put your sugar in that motherfucker.

We tossed a donut. Glades donut. I can't believe there's no sugar in the bitch. I'm not a cube in the back. I'm putting sugar in there with fucking tablespoons. And they're sitting at home like, why am I not losing weight? I've been working out.

I've been eating all these juices. Yeah, that's fucking crazy if they cheat if they make it. I always think about that. Like, that's what, you know, Weight Watch is really, they're not against you eating out, but they want you to ask creepy questions at a restaurant, which I won't ask.

Creepy questions. Yeah, like I won't ask a way Excuse me. I got it here. Excuse me what the what how does the fish get fried? You know those type of questions. I hate eating out with people like yeah. No no no no I'll pay the tab and leave. Let's listen before we give me a pet tab for the four iced teas I'm out of here. This guy just embarrassed me to go ahead what you know they want you to ask creepy questions like what is it cooked in has a fry what kind of oils you know much yeah do you know much fat is in there if he puts butter does it whipped or is it whatever I hate more than creepy

people that's fucking gentiles I hate annoying waiters yeah no no no because I'm only gonna spit my fucking food you know what I'm saying I would if you tortured me and I was a waiter I'd spit your fucking food oh man that's I'd fling a snot in your pork fried rice that you'd be eating and go this fucking ham is

delicious you beat the fucking snot that would I swear to God they drive me crazy you know like little things which I don't so I just keep everything light but it's weird like if you eat a piece of C-Bee bass. It's zero fucking points. But I get that same sea bass at what's the

fucking place in Burbank that I love? And I was going in there for a long time and eating sea bass and going, wow, this is great. Oh, Morton's? No. What's the fucking Chinese place? The chain. Oh. It's the Peking. P. F. Chains. You know how many points the sea bass is at P.F. Chang's?

21. I get 39 for the day. They toss all kinds of butter in That's what I'm saying. That's why it tastes so good. Sugar and pork fry. You know, like, we have a friend that went on a no sugar diet. And he lost tons of fucking weight.

Yeah. I know. I have a student that did that. I hadn't seen it. It's amazing. But the problem is, there's sugar and everything, Professor. Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, like, if you just cut out, like, sugary drinks, I mean, like, in general, dude, like, it makes a huge difference, dude. You don't realize how much sugar you're eating, you know? I was talking to Brent. It makes a huge difference. I was talking to Brent, the guy who, runs a subconscious and he was saying he gets like a lot of Thai food but he even when he orders he has to ask them to put like no sugar on the sauce yeah yeah yeah yeah some of those sauces and Thai

food or yeah yeah yeah that's crazy yeah and Chinese food too yeah hell yeah they put some sugar in oh no no no all those all those sauce that's why you got to like what you're like that's what you're saying is like that they they don't really encourage you to eat out whenever you're on weight watch or eat or ask creepy questions like if you come to my restaurant say don't put sugar my time yeah yeah good yeah I'll put more fucking sugar in there you fuck I'll put sativa what's that what's that sugar that tastes like sugar but eight year stevia stevia sativa I'll put stevia you to death you fuck no I'm scared and that's what you know it's it's everything changes after 40 like I had to go to the doctor for

the last three months I've been living in hell I didn't know what it was I thought I had stomach cancer guys oh man I had to stop chewing nicotine gum I changed everything. I stopped eating weird stuff. I didn't know what it was. I even stopped edibles for a month. Yeah, I remember like I talked to you about a month ago and then you said, well, the edibles I had to stop because of the appetite.

You can't listen. There's another dietitian that could deal with edibles. There's self-control. There's no self-control. Dude, I get fucking crazy stoner munchies, man. Not stoner munchies. See, that's the difference. I could smoke pot for the pigeons come home and have an apple and I'm good. No, really? Yeah. I have

two green apples and a banana and I'm good. But edibles, when we eat those chibin shoes, it was expired when we were eating last week. Dog, I went home one night, I think like 10 days ago and I just destroyed the house. Like two sandwiches.

Yeah, man. Cold cut. But this is after 20 minutes of eating healthy food. I just don't go home and make a fucking salami sandwich. I go home and have an apple. Then I have another apple. Then I have a Weight Watchers, 2.7 gram protein bar.

Then I have another one. Then I'll drink a bunch of water. And if after that I'm still having a hard time, then I just throw the towel. I go, what am I going to do? I can't control myself. I got to eat this until the end. I got to go deep. And that's what I do.

But I couldn't control the edible munchy at night. And every minute after 11 o'clock, like we'd, sit here. Like let's say we get high at 7.30, the podcast ends at 10. We sit here talking to 11, and the whole time, I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat. Oh, fuck you. I don't have the balls to go to Denny's

at night. That's the only thing that saves me. I won't go to Denny's. I won't go to 7-11. I won't eat chips. I don't do nothing like that. If I do, oh, you know what else I would? I have a, before I bail, I have a protein shake. Yeah. I have a protein shake. I have a coconut.

Well, protein shake. You run the blender at like two Oh, I don't give a Frenchman's fuck. They can't hear it. The key to beat the stoner munchies is just don't keep anything bad in your pad, you know? Well, then you leave the house. But then you leave the house. That's what I don't. After an edible, I'm not leaving the house at all.

I live 100 yards from one of the worst places in the world for me. For me, it would be destructive. And one night, me and Lee went in there and one in the morning. We killed it with our gay friend, Eric. I was a comedy store and we killed it. What place is this? Yum, Yum donut. Oh my God.

They're up in 24 hours. Fuck that. And they're Mexicans, which means they look at you. They don't give you food by the ounce. They look at you and go, hmm. Hmm. So I can go in there and get a bagel sandwich. Get a coconut fucking on ice, which is 1,000 calories alone.

Oh, my God. And then get two donuts and sit there. And then get a cup of coffee and sit there and fucking write jokes. But I'm always scared that somebody's going to come off the one-on-one and rob the joint. I'm going to be in there. That's why I don't go in there later, like fucking, Denny's? Why would they rob yumbium?

Do you know the mind of an addict? No. They'll fucking rob anything. They'll rob anything. They rob the donut shut across street from the gym one day. I got 5.30 in the morning. We heard some ruckus over there and later on they held the place up at gunpoint. Later on we're like, oh shit.

All those places late night now, I don't like. I would never want to be at that Denny's when the shit goes off one night. And it's going to go off. No. Go to that Denny's at one in the morning. And that's some crazy shit over that dead. He's right there. Like some Pulpiction shit.

It's crazy shit over that. And it gets crazy. Listen, when I moved to, no, hold, when I moved up here, there were hookers on Langfordshire night. Pure, straight up hookers. He got attacked by one one night. Yeah. I kept thinking they're going, bro, I love my friends.

You got attacked by a prostitute? She hang out, but it's a long story. She had bandages on her hair. She had bandages on her hair. Oh, my goodness. I just let her loose from the fucking insane of the sign of hysterical. He abandoned me just like he did at the blackjack table. It was really weird.

You know, I've been going out. My mom had a bar grown up. So I've been out since I was a kid. I used to go on. And then I didn't have a curfew. You know, I saw my wife this that I'm sick of going out at night. Like I really am at this age. Like I'm sick of it.

I have a kid. I'm sick of it. You know. I was giving birth pressure a ride home one day. And he goes, you know, my oldest daughter always asked me, Daddy, you're going out. He goes, yeah, I'm going out, but I'm just going to do a set. And I'm coming right home.

And the older daughter goes, no, no, no, no. What am I just staying home? And you know what? That's what I, like for a long time, I was at war with myself, professor. I have to go out at night. And now I can't do it. No, yeah.

Like I can't do it. Tomorrow I got a meeting at eight. Tomorrow my day does not stop. 8, 10, 30, 2. I think I got a four, and I got a 6.30 tomorrow, it never fucking ends. You got a long day, tomorrow's a long fucking day tomorrow. It's all white people and talking and, you know, pitches and fucking, oh, it starts tomorrow. Like, whatever I've gone through all year is nothing until now.

Then Wednesday, I got to go back down there at three, the Wilshire Boulevard. I got a hell of a fucking week this week, you know. I can't do that no more. Like I used to, like, eight. Tomorrow, my first meeting is at eight. I'm over that shit too, man. I'm pushing 50, man. So, like, I don't like going out and hanging out in bars and shit like that.

No, and then the next day I have to teach class. Fuck that. It's so weird how for years, I remember when I was younger, people would say, you're going to see that. Your nights are going to get, oh, if I stay out until two now and get up at 8 the next day, I'm fucked for the whole week. You're fucked, yeah. Never mind having a drink.

Like, I don't know how people go out during the weekend have like four fucking drinks. I can't do that show. That's great. Like, you're 30. No, dude. Are you fucking crazy? I could, but I haven't drank in a while, and I drank on Friday night.

I was a few comics. I had two drinks, and I Uber it on purpose. But the next morning, I felt like a little, I was almost sick a little bit. Like, I had two of their kind of strong drinks, but. Yeah, you better get it together. 29 years old. I had two drinks. At 29, I was drinking a fucking bar.

Jesus. And leaving empty bottles everywhere. I don't like drinking. I've never liked it. What do you like? Not much. You don't like the whole town. You like smoking weed and eating

a ganja fish. I eat too much. Have you ever woken? So like, let's say you go home right. You eat and you go to bed. Have you ever walking up like four or five and have made like a little snack and that went back to bed?

Oh my God. Yeah, and I got up in the middle of that. I went to get a glass of water. And my friend left a lobster. She left a lobster. Tim? What's that sandwich they made downstairs? at the side point.

Lobster roll. No, lobster grilled cheese. Oh, my goodness. I got up at 5 in the morning to get water and I opened up. I go, oh, my God, what is that? I saw a lot. I took that piece of bread off and just ate the lobster meat like a savage that I am. And threw the bread and the cheese away

where I right back to bed with lobster bread. I woke up that sleep back to your mask. Smelt like fucking lobster shit. I don't wipe it down with fucking ambassol. Oh, my God. My God. I usually brush my teeth and glycerine. and then go to bed.

I got up in the middle of night's dog. I went to get water and I was still stoned. Like sometimes from the edible, you get up in the middle of night. Oh, my God. You're fucking hijacked. Dude, you fucked me up with some shit you gave me one time, man. Oh, yeah. Only one time?

Like, well, I learned my lesson. Because he, like, I think it was on Christmas or something. He was like, Merry Christmas professor. And he has me a fucking envelope full of stars. And I, I never had, I never ate one of those stars before. I ate a full one. And I woke up and I was still fucking high, man. I was like, what the fuck?

And I had to go teach class at 5.30. And then like, later I was like, Joe, what the fuck, man? What's up with that fucking star? He's like, oh, I forgot to tell you just to eat half. Let me tell you something. That thing was so strong, man. There was nothing worse than waking up and still being high. Oh, man, that's crazy, dude.

I'd never experienced that with the edible. And I do whatever. I do it. I'm going to see. We did it like three times a week. Well, like, if I sleep, then I wake up and I'm usually like, good. But I woke up and I was fucking... There's three days a week that I wake up in the mornings.

And, like, look, I catch myself just staring at the coffee machine. I have one of those nice ones. Like, my wife went out and got a nice, nice coffee machine so there's no more drama. I have no reason to lie to anybody. There are mornings I get up, I walk to the kitchen, and I catch myself staring at the car machine. For 10 minutes, I get really... stuck. I get really stuck. And then I put the cup in when I press it, and a lot of the coffee's being made. So this was before you even start the coffee, you just like, look at it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't hear what I'm saying to me. I'm surprised you don't wait until you had to make a lot of things. Just like, before you, like, start making the coffee, you get stuck. How long does it take you to make a cup of coffee in the morning when you're like it? It takes three minutes to push the button. There's some mornings I get up and I just lay on the thing on the stove and I just look at the cough machine I don't even know where to start like I don't even know where to start like you people think that I'm like oh Joe Deers is tolerance Joe Diaz pays for that shit the morning there's some mornings I have by the way there's some mornings I wake up you ever wake up on the road you know where the fuck you are

like you don't know what you wake up you feel like Martin Sheen the apocalypse now he woke up in the hotel room he didn't know where he was Saigon dukan there's some mornings I wake up I don't know where the fuck I am. Oh my god. That's like some hangover shit. Like I wake up some mornings and I don't know if my schedule is till I look at it, even though I went over it before I went to bed. Like I get up some mornings and I'm out of it, Professor.

So I go into the kitchen, the cats are me out and I'm like, go away. Go away. I gotta focus. I gotta see what the fuck's going on. And then I look at the cough machine for a little while. Right? And then I'll pop it in and I press the buck. and while it's coming out, I run to the bathroom when I pee.

And I open up my computer and I press the button to get the computer going. Then I run back into the kitchen and I push Stevia in the coffee. And I stare it up real good, like Cuban-style, like I make it like Cuban-style. And if I drink that first cup of coffee and I'm still at Mars, then I have another one. But if I don't, if that cup of coffee usually should deviate the hive from the night before. Yeah. Then I wait a couple minutes. I take another pee. Maybe that pushes a piece of poop out of my muffler and that's when I smoke the first smoke

That's why that's how I start my morning Yeah, but if that coffee if that two cups of coffee Don't overcome the high I don't get high I wait I waited out and I know in my heart that whatever my plans are I got to include a workout in there today Because the only one I'm gonna get this TAC out of my body is if I sweat it out and drink it out So sometimes I say fuck it I don't have to 12 o'clock to do Jiu Jitsu or not nothing. I go on my yard and start swinging kettlebells like an animal start hitting the bag

and I'll fucking smell it. Once I smell it coming out of me. You smell the, the, the, oh, I smell weed, Xanax. I can smell everything, the alcohol, the fucking, I smell everything coming out of my fucking anxiety medication. I don't even know if it's Zanics. I don't know what they give me, whatever the little white pills they give me. But I can smell like the top core you know, guys, come on. Come on, guys. Let's be honest. How much fucking weed. Dude, I was just telling Lee, I was like, I need a weed sponsor. Because it's like a regular bill of mine now. It's not even the weed as what we were doing a year ago.

Like two years ago, Lee and I, like, if we got high on Monday and Wednesday, on Thursday, you guys eat a lot of fucking... You break the little fucking suit. Not anymore. They're like, the first time I came on the show, I was just like, you guys were popping that shit like it was... Listen, I was listening to those podcasts. A lot of those podcasts don't even make sense.

They're entertaining. and shit to a degree because there's nobody here that's whatever like nobody would be every if if three people are high what kind of conversation is that that's not a fucking conversation that's just uh you know yeah yeah a giggle fest but you got a figure drop whenever i go to a weed store like when i go to sunset herbal every time i walk in sunset herbal they throw me some type of animal the latest like sunset what herbal where i go was right over here around the corner so whenever i go in there the guy always pulled me aside and go bro try this this is

what's killing motherfucker it's like there's times don't even have shit on the shelves that don't come out of the guy I go hold on before you leave I have something for you and he'll give me someone is a guy like Armenian or something yeah and leave tell me Joey I've never smoked weed like that I'm coming here with some shit he gives me some shit

that's rocket fuel one I Jews Armenian did he give you that that hash shit that we don't no no that's the one I Jew look at the container that's the one I Jew yeah You know, no names, you know what I'm saying? Just calling the one. He don't want his name out there.

No names. Mita Ooye-Ikaya. It's like the three monkeys. You don't know nothing. You know what I'm saying? One monkey covers his eyes or monkey covers his ear. He covers his nose. That's the official poster, the church of what's happening now.

Mita Oye-Ikaya. You don't know nothing. I don't know. Some guy can drop it off. Don't you pay for you? I don't know what I give. How much is it? I don't know.

I like that, Matt, because, you know, they don't really make cash anymore. No, that's a Swedish type That's a fucking That's something Dipped in something Something something something You told me it wasn't actually hash

But it reminds me of hash Yeah no it's got that Hasheesh taste to it And the texture The texture as well That's good that you At least Even does

Do you do any CBD products I do some CBD vapes And stuff like that Does it help you With all the kettlebell stuff For me For me it relaxes me But yeah man

Like yeah The thing is is you have to know how to rest too, man. And, you know, like, I really got my personal diet on track as well, too. So, like, I eat totally different now, man. I don't even eat any animal products anymore. So I'm just eating like clean as fuck. When you say animal products, what do you mean, professor?

Anything that has anything from an animal, like milk, cheese, meat, none of that anymore. So, like, you know what I? Hold on. Hold on. There you go. Oh, God damn it. It's so rude. He's killing you, Lee.

That's that, that Chilean sea bass right at you. It's the worst. It's the worst. Hey, dude, you're in for a hell of a week, this week, man. It's going to be a lot of hazing going on over here. I'm going to get an IKEA and get one of those walls. Like a fucking fire room to reset. What's your typical breakfast?

I don't eat another thing You go to that fucking gym and do those kettlebells and none in your stomach No man like I intermittent fast That's another thing man is like intermittent fast like Joe Rogan talks about it I'm Because it like When I wake up in the morning I have a shot of espresso

It makes me use a bathroom And I drink water with lemon And man it makes me feel full But like when you work out on an empty stomach like that You burn a lot more fat as well I'm bad at me. It's one of those like slow creepers. Oh, yeah.

Hold on. Oh, my shit is, this is weight protein. That way protein, that shit will kill you. Way protein mixed with milk. I don't even mix it with milk with water. Oh, my God. A couple way, like that organic, I get that organic pure protein that on it. They just sent me the Mexican chocolate's clean, Bobby.

That shit is clean, Bobby. I like that. With some water. fucking nice and some ice cubes it's fucking perfect so what's your bread all right so now what do you eat for lunch open that door professor you don't mind before lead dies just for two minutes because trust me it's my fart and i'm almost dying over here myself it's tremendous yeah so uh i probably have my first meal around noon but like over this last like eight months that i've stopped eating animal products i um i've been kind of like learning how to cook and shit you know

So I eat like a lot of beans, rice I eat like a lot of vegan Mexican food man, but I just don't What are you putting in the rice? You eat brown rice or white rice? Like just like Mexican rice You know, stuff like that So what kind of Mexican rice?

What are you putting the Mexican rice? Well like that's the fucking You know if you look on weight watch It doesn't think the worst thing Yeah, yeah yeah Right rice I like actually like the last month I've been Not eating that many carbs though

So like my Like I'll have like a taco With like some soy meat but I'll just make it like a talk I'll put pico de gall on it like so you're a vegan right now pretty much pretty much like I wasn't at first like I cut out the meat but the cheese man that shit fucking had a hold on me for a minute you know and then but now so many companies are investing in it and they're making better like

vegan cheeses and stuff like now so like they have all the stuff that I can cook with to make like good like good vegan food what's a vegan cheezer you recommend um you see kite hill there's a company called kite hill how there's how you spell kite hill yeah they have like good like cream cheeses they also have like really good non-dairy yogurts and stuff like that oh my god what it mean like let's say you want to make a sandwich uh let's say i want to make uh they even have like vegan deli meats and shit like that too man they have any just about anything you you can possibly imagine they fucking have it like a vegan subway sandwich is vegan deli meat that's like fucking oh man that's some bad shit right there

yeah that's right that shit a lot of people don't realize like deli meats processed Sets meat, bacon, all that shit. That shit's just like, like is literally labeled as a carcinogen by the World Health Organization and a bunch of other things. Yeah. One of the things I have cut down on that I can't believe. I cannot believe is bacon. Yeah, yeah.

That's good, man. I mean, like, you know, everything in moderation, but. I don't mind. Like this week I had. I had a Friday from Friday. No, no, Saturday morning I had breakfast. This morning I had a protein shape. But Saturday, I had breakfast in the room.

I had two pieces of bacon. If they give me three, I only eat two. I'll eat two pieces because it's four points. And I'm pretty good with that. So eggs are free. I can eat six eggs for breakfast. They're free, Jack. So eggs with a tortilla with salsa and black beans.

I'm only paying for the fucking for the tortilla. The salsa. Yeah, beans, man. I have a whole different appreciation for beans. Beans are delicious. Beans are good. But beans that have like a shift. little protein plus they have like fiber and other vitamins and stuff in it like something that meat

doesn't really have meat doesn't have fiber but like you know we always look at beans as like a side dish but man like uh you know i've been doing all this research and stuff since i stopped eating meat and there's like these blue zones where people live the longest you know they have like five of them and there's one in costa rica in italy loma linda california because the the seventh-day event is they don't eat meat so there's like a lot of vegetarians and they live the longest out of anybody in the world. So, but all of them eat beans. That's something they have in common. So they like, there's doctors that say like if you eat a couple of beans a day, it expens, it'll extend your life by four years because they're just so good for you, man, you know,

but we always look at them as like a side dish or something like that. But in Costa Rica, one of the blue zones, these people, they live off of beans, rice, and corn tortillas. But they just make it all themselves. And these people live to like over a hundred years old. What's a blue zone profession? A blue zone is this guy, Dan Retner, I think his name is, in collaboration with the National Geographic, they studied all different regions all over the world to see where people live the longest.

You know, so they narrowed it down to blue zones because, like, they had a map and they narrowed it down and with a blue marker, they just marked all the places, you know, so they just started calling it the blue zones. So in these places, they have the highest concentration of Centennians. Centennians means people who live past 100. No, I thought it was Okinao. Okinawa is one of the blues zones.

Okinawa is one of the blues zones. But because of their fish intake. Yeah, but now, but now they're like, they used to be the number one. But what happened is, because Japanese has a big Western influence, now they're getting fast food in Okinawa. So they used to be the best, but now Loma Linda is the number one place where the people live the longest. So those are the blues on. There's a place, I think it's Sardini, Italy.

There's a place in Greece, Costa Rica. and Long Belinda, California. Let's get something out of the way. If I could eat black beans and rice, Cuban. Yeah, me, dude. And fried bananas every day. That's a good meal, man. I would eat that every day.

You could, yeah. You could even on the way to watch the street. I could live. Three, four ounces of fried bananas is not bad for you. No, it's not. This is plantains. But what about, do they put meat in the beans? No.

No, like Cuban black beans? No. Dude, Cuban black beans and rice and plantains is the shit. It's the shit. It's the shit. With raw onions, you take an onion and you get the greater and you put it over the fucking white rice and the black meat we taste a nice and place in bono that i i i dream of every day not open anymore it was called the harvest

restaurant it was just a vegan restaurant the only thing that they served the only meat that they had was chicken they had a certain type of chicken but that was it they had vegetarian gazpacho they had you know this is i used to go there my credit card like i was addicted to this restaurant What did you get? My best breakfast ever. They had, it was called Swiss granola. It was not, in today's standards, a thousand calories. But it didn't matter.

For me, it was way better than eating eggs for breakfast. And I used to be a runner then. I'd just come out of the jail. I just come out of prison. So I used to be in the halfway house. I used to go to the harvest way before I went to the halfway house. Their tea, you know how people say? Oh my God, caffeine.

Listen, listen to me, guys. I could drink a Red Bull and pass out. They had a tea, professor, a regular tea that they gave you. Like, when you went there, they said to you, do you want the house tea or Jasmine? And we had, remember, the Boulder is where, what's that big company, Celestial Seasons? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They make it like that. The teas, yeah, yeah, yeah, all those tea.

The tea company came out of Boulder, dogs. Celestial seasoning was in Boulder. They have a tea. Look it up. It's called Lemon Something. Celestial Seasons has a tea. And it's called Lemon Something. Guys, I was there.

Lemon Zinger. Oh, my God. I was hooked. What was in it? Was there a lot of caffeine in it? I don't know. At that time, I was into cocaine. I was into cocaine.

Cocaine's a hell of a drug. In 80s, you know, after I got locked up, you got to remember, what Boulder was in 84. It was the perfect match for me when I got there in 85. Boulder was a place that when you looked at activities, it didn't have like this, that it had like Moonlight Hikes. You know, the activity was in Boulder,

getting together and fucking dancing until midnight. Zero caffeine. Zero caffeine. No, no, no. The tea is delicious. Like, I got addicted to the flavor at the time. but they had a house blend there was the only tea professor

you ever take a black beauty no what is that a black beauty is a diet pill in the 70s it's what libererachi was giving Matt Damon if you see that that movie Matt Damon which one Liberacee it's a HBO movie Michael Douglas plays Liberachi

but in the 70s a big thing to give you Michael Douglas plays Liberaqi is fucking tremendous What? Is it good? Is it worth watching? Yes, it's worth watching. Matt Damon sucks his dick. He talks and gets a suck on his dick.

It breaks your heart. You'll never watch Goodwill hunting the same. Or the born identity. Yeah, born Jason Bourne, sucking dick. It's the end of the fucking world. That was part of his training. But black beauties were these little black things that they gave you. Doctors prescribing to get you on diets.

Like, you know, Exitrim? What's the shit when you go to pharmacies now? Let me tell you something. little focus on you buy a diet medication those pills you take over the counter that's just legal speed yeah hell yeah man but my day they used to give you black beauties we used to pop them and snorn them oh my god and you feel your eye mover twitch when you saw the black beauty your eye would shift oh my god like oh my god i would drink black beauties i would eat black beauties and drink zambuca i was getting i was getting black beauties oh my god i got fucked up one that i'm gonna chris morgan's

That's that. That's that... What is that stuff? It's like a... It's like a liqueur. It's like a liqueur. It's like a lique. It's a Greek liqueur.

It's a Greek lique. It's a lukia. It's like, it doesn't get you drunk and it's got a million fucking calories. It's just pure sugar. But I never forget one night drinking a bottle of that. We'd fucking eat those black beauties. I was sick for a fucking week.

Oh my god, that sounds like that's... I don't even know how much. Oh, we're talking about the diet pills and all that shit. The diet pills are the original black beauties. I didn't know that. I never heard of it. Then they have blues or something. You know, I don't remember.

I wasn't on a diet in the fucking 70s. No. But in 7980, I used to go to East Trousburg, Pennsylvania to get drugs. One of my big sales was Black Beauty's, these little speed pills because the wrestlers were using them to cut weight. Why would you snort them, though? You could snort them, you could eat them. Oh, my God. We'd snort everything.

Snorting. I wasn't much of a snorter. Really. Wait till you snort the next fart that comes out of my head. You'll be a fucking snorter. So, you see, I could never do, like, those diet pills will make you jittery and shit. But they were big in the 70s and 80s. People went off to deep end.

You know, that's why it kills me when people are like, well, the opioid problem. Let me tell you something. We've had a problem in this country since 1970, fucking nine with drugs. Like, this country was, what they thought was a problem was never a problem. when the hippies were around who were the hippies bothered? They were doing acid and they were smoking pot. They weren't bothering nobody.

Acid don't make you rob. It's a dollar ahead. Two dollars a head. Acid don't make you rob. We got hit with an epidemic in 1979. You think it's because they were protesting? No. Shut the fuck, I protested. We've been with an epidemic since 1979 that the addiction

just keeps rolling off into other things. Oh yeah, man. People get They get a... There's no more... No, no. The first epidemic that we got killed was a drug named cocaine and then it's never stops instead and see the MDMA We're always reinventing that crack that heroin came back after 9-11 And now the opioid problem is back. It's never fucking stopped like you know my friend one of my tightest friends in the world That his kid is in a rehab for the night time He's 20 years old and he my friend calls me he's like you know we had the same problems we were 20

We was just coke we just didn't even know it We didn't know it that we were going to fall into this fucking crisis. There's been a crisis in this country for 30, 40 fucking years. 40 fucking years has been a crisis in this fucking comfort country. There's no war on drugs. That's propaganda for white people to buy into. There hasn't been a war on drug here since this fucking 1982. When the government realized how much money there was in cocaine, that was the end of the war on drugs.

How much is that little chubby Mexican with the belt buckle making? He's in Forbes magazine. He's a little chubby Mexican. with a belt buckle that fucking has a horse in his living room. He has a horse in the room. He ran out of heat one night, so he burnt a million dollars cash. I don't burn the

$20 bill. My wife could die a fucking freezing before I burn a 20, and this guy lit a million dollars on fucking fire. That's when the epidemic fucking started in this country. There's no opioid epidemic. This is the same epidemic of addiction that has been rolling over in this country for the last 40 fucking years.

Where's Tony better that, cock sucker? Get me all fired up. On a Monday morning. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody twice as smart

as I read the whole fucking thing. Don't even look at me to your reading. That's why I'm angry. I'm not mad at you tonight. Read that fucking thing. Once you read it, you're gonna get mad. I heard about it. Read it.

As you used to do with me. Don't look at me again, Lee. I'm trying not to miss you doing this thing. That misery loves company, wait and see. I want to be around. To see how he does it when he breaks your heart to. Bits. Let me give some shoutouts real quick.

Number one, I had a really fucking great time in Vegas. And I want to thank Serena and Tony. They came down. They brought me music, which you're going to install. They brought a present for my daughter. I mean, they were just great people in Vegas weekend. Frederick Bach. Bach, you know, Randy Valarba, Christina Weeks, Ms. Fizzle, Nancy Jimenez,

Adrian Royval, Evan Patrick, Ron. B. Richard Hernandez and disposable alien brains. I love all you motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? You know, I love you guys with all my heart. You guys come to the shows and you're like, you know what, man, you help me a lot. Guess what? You guys keep me in fucking check. You guys

make me a better fucking man. So I thank you guys. Don't forget Utah is sold out. We added an extra show on Thursday night in Salt Lake City and Wise guys, but there's a few tickets left. So if you don't jump on them now, they're going to be gone. I'm not adding another show. I'm too old to do fucking six shows, cuck, cuck. And then we got fucking

the Kansas City Improb, bitch. August 9th to the 11th Sharpen your fucking Dix. Uncle Joey's coming straight up humidity. I don't give a fuck. You know, you're... How old were you when Bruce Lee died? Do you remember anything about Bruce Lee?

I think he was already dead by the time I realized who he was. It's so funny. When Bruce Lee died? The first thing that happened. When did he die? Bruce Lee died July of 73. We should be coming up on his anniversary. I was like,

two years old. His anniversary should be maybe Wednesday, if I'm correct. When is Bruce Lee's date of birth, the date of death? God bless his soul. Yeah, he was the man. The godfather of MMA. Oh, he died on my birthday

July 20th. There you go, you fucking kiss of death. 15 years before I was born. Still, still. See, you were born on Bruce Lee's birthday. It should make you identify some but it's crazy if you look Enter the Dragon was released like seven days before he died. See what the release date of Enter the Dragon is.

This is the creepy shit about this. Like, he, he entered the dragon came out, and he died either a week before or a week after. I didn't know that. And it would have not been in America because they're saying America got released on the 19th of August,

like a month later. And what about, no, I think it was a little earlier. But this movie, he died. That's what gave the movie even more popularity. Once he died, the movie was in the movie theater. And they just fucking, they went just fucking nuts naturally, you know. But it's crazy when Bruce Lee first died. Like I went to Chinatown.

I bought everything I could. You know, I got the tower of Jekundo. I read everything. And I was really sold on it. But then something really weird happened to Professor. People started Bogart and shit. People would have like one. scene of Bruce Lee throwing a kick

and they'd get another guy and put a black suit on him and surround that whole movie with Bruce Lee with three E's or L-I or Bruce with BR O O S-E It was fucking non-stop

I felt so bad after a while. I couldn't watch anything anymore. I think Game of Death is one of the worst pieces of shit that's ever been made in my life. Ever. And you know what? It wasn't to be released. Yeah, it wasn't. It just was not to be released. If you were going

to Bruce Lee and said, Bruce, should we release and say, no, just give it to my kids. Let them see what I was doing with Kareemadujaabar, and Danny Anasanto. He's got a lot of great cast in that movie, but the way they put it together at the end, it's just god awful. Yeah, that's pretty bad. God awful. And then

I'm going to tell you what's even worse. Game of Death, two, three, four, five. I mean, they started, you know, who sold those? It's milking. Nesh. Like, I want to know two Chinese guys in the room. We got a great idea. They milk everything. And they milked it and you could tell that and the books and you know the other day Bob Linger sent me a book

that is just phenomenal on Bruce Lee and it's like how many books have they written about this guy in 40 years? We're going on him being dead how long now? 73, 83, 93, 2003, 2003, 2013. We're talking about this guy's been dead

45 fucking years. And they're still coming out with shit. I was 10 when he died That's why he it just destroyed my inside But I still remember those that year and a half later Of what like his real fans were going through Like people were going through we were just getting a sucker It's like when I see you know Yeah because they they're they wanted to find the next Bruce Lee

And I'm not putting nobody down here I'm just telling you how I come like this Really two weeks ago you re-release appetite for destruction What what you know and we'll do that like how many fucking be albums have they re-released what you had you had to in a fucking tuba yeah yeah we're just idiots we just keep rebuying the shit but nothing bothers me more than we take a a dead person that it's not his voice and the family has money but they do stupid things to really slap a fan in the fucking face right now the ralphi may shit's starting to come out like you know they're trying to sell his jacket for

for $50,000 and all this shit. And it infuriates me. It burns my fucking core. So now they're at least like some fucking, you know, like some, what do you call those things when you don't put the fucking name down and they donate money and you... Indigo.

Indigo. What's the other one? Go fund me. Go fund me. Go fund me for like a special of Ralphie Mae that some chick taped. like following him around when Ralphie was in his worst

you know Ralphie struggled with a lot of fucking things at the end he struggled with a lot of demons he struggled with his divorce he struggled with just fucking you know what comes with this bullshit you know people think that you go to these clubs and people love

you and the whole thing but there's a complete different side of this you know there's a political side of it and this shit you got to deal with in your office and you don't know about that they paid the agent the deposit it and now the check that they were going to give you is a different amount. You don't know all the aggravations that go with it. So it's just a combination

thing, but it's just so weird that they released a book on Ralphie Mae that he barely fucking, you know what I'm saying? They just took it and just to make money. So as like a brother and a fan to Ralphie Mae,

you know, last week we had the, when I taped the thing for Netflix, we took Uki down. I tried to honor him by taking Uki down. He promised her, Vegas for a weekend and I promised and we went. We had a great time with Ouki. And I'm going to take the kid and the daughter and maybe put some type of account together and put like a dollar in there every month. I don't fucking know I'm going to work this. Just so when they get to be 18, I can give them something back like the father helped me.

You know, the father gave me that fucking stand. The father gave me $1,000, 10 times the way I give you a joint. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how many times Ralphie gave me money without even asking. You ever been broken. You want to ask somebody for money for 20 bucks? and they give you money before you even ask them. They're like, yeah, put this in your pocket, and you're like, fuck, thank God, I didn't have to ask you. And he would never go to Joey Avarado and go,

I just gave you $100 that fucking Mizadabla. He wouldn't do that. He gave it to you because he wanted to give it to you from fucking his heart. You know what I'm saying? Like, he didn't give it to you and then brag to people. I fed Joey for a month. No, no one.

Don't feed Joey if you're going to tell people. Just feed him. Just be his fucking friend, you know? Yeah. So it's just so weird that you get these emails of people trying to exploit one of your friends. Yeah. And now it takes me back to like when I was a kid,

how I felt about like Bruce Lee, you know? Like they just, they just fucked me in the ass. I would pay for these pictures. They wouldn't even be Bruce Lee. It would be somebody else set from China. It was a rip-off. Right. They just ripped off people.

They ever see that movie, they call me Bruce? Oh, my God. I haven't seen any years. That's a good movie, though. That's a good fucking movie. That's a fucking hilarious movie. That's a hilarious fucking movie. And, you know, like, some spoof, some Bruce Lee stuff was okay.

Once they started coming out with the cat noises and shit, that would fucking piss me the fuck off. The one dude didn't bother me. There was one Bruce Leaf lookalike that came on. His name was Carado, the Hong Kong cat. I've never heard of that. He had new chugs, but he did something different to his new chugs. He put fucking copper piping on his new chucks on the bottom.

Jesus. So when you hit somebody, so you ever go to a hardware store, you just add for copper piping. And you weld onto a pipe, you would just fucking crazy glue it to the bottom of fucking octagon, Newchuk, or just a broom handle. Everybody in those days was walking around with bumps in the back of their head and black and blues is on the elbows. Because that's what you did.

When you first saw the Newchucks, that's all you did. This move here? Always. That Newchuk came up and he hit you in the face. Oh, man, I fucked around with those. Fuck, yeah. Everybody fucked around with Newchucks. Why did he add metal to his?

That seems dangerous. Because he wanted to fuck you up when they hit you with. You know what I'm saying? So talk to me about the certification. What do they do next Saturday? They go in there at what time? It's going to start at 7 in the morning, Saturday morning. And you feed them and everything?

I'm going to get them some assay for sure. Okay. So it's going to, it'll last from 7 in the morning to probably about 5 in the afternoon on both days. And you cover you. You do it. That's a lot of fucking material to cover, man, you know, because I want people to feel like they're able to teach it, you know, afterwards. So, I mean, I make it really simple.

I have a simple formula that. I use simple protocols to teach, you know. And if you follow those protocols, it's really easy. This is about remembering the names of the exercises and me teaching them how to do it properly and safely and whatnot, you know. Well, it is a lot of information, though. That's part of the challenge, you know, is you got to study for it. And then it's two days of like almost 16 hours of training, you know?

Now, how do they study for it? You set on a pamphlet? Yeah. Like, so like once you register, I'll send you some study material, some videos and some documents that you can go over just to look at the routines because I let, I give them like a list of all the routines that they have to know and all the exercises, you know, they study it. So like most of the time, the people that do it, they have experience doing it already, you know,

they've been doing it for a little while. So they do, you know, it runs really smoothly. But yeah, it's a lot of material. but part of it is like it's like a challenge you know too like two days of kettlebell and body weight training it's pretty brutal man so it's going to test your will a little bit as well you know but that's part of part of the fun too you know it's like doing like a spartan race or something like that you know something intense like physical activity like that you know so yeah so my goal is just to just for people to be able to feel comfortable teaching it afterwards that's my goal it's really weird you turn me on to the turkish get up like i love the turkish get up i love the turkish gett up i love it too But I do it differently. Well, I think the Turkish get up, honestly, with a kettlebell is one of the best exercises. I agree, man. It's an awesome exercise.

I love it. There's a warm-up sometimes if I just want to warm up in my backyard. You can do a body weight, body-weight, body-weight, no weight. Absolutely. You do five on each side. There's no stop. You know what I'm saying? This is tremendous today.

You see how he reached in there. This is three days of Vegas. It's called Viva, Las Vegas. Vegas. It's fragrance. You're getting the effects of those buffets right now, man. I don't do buffets. Fuck those buffets. I don't do that. I don't do that. Especially now, but like, I did it one time in Vegas

and I paid the price for it on the way back. You see fingernails and shit. Lee goes in there with his girlfriend. They drive to Vegas to go to a buffet. But you don't want to smell my ass. Look at them. And we eat buffet food with the waiters. They bite the bread and put it back. You've never eaten buffet food. You're probably eating more buffet food than other of us.

Dog, I swear to God, if I've eaten at a buffet four times, it's been a lot in my 55 years. No. What about all those times in Vegas when you were broke? I didn't even go downstairs.

I had Joe Rogan. You're fucking crazy. You're on the road with Joe Rogan, dog. One time at the Rive when they had the Dirty Show at the Rive. The Dirty Show? They used to have a dirty show at the Rive at midnight. It was a dirty show.

It was a dirty. You could go up there and take your dick out and jump up and down and go off on people. It was an hour. hour show midnight show 1215 the opener 1215 to you know like one o'clock the headliner and rogan took me one time and the guy gave me the key to the employee cafeteria and i was broke as fuck and i went down and i learned that that food and it was fucking disgusting i think all i could eat was like a cheese sandwich like that's it and i drank a free soda

You ever see that show Bar Rescue? Yes. He goes in those restaurants and it's fucking... It's fucking nasty. You're like, oh. You have to really trust people. Fuck, yeah. These restaurants around here, this dude, he is the king of going into those...

The fucking disgusting. Well, do you guys see that video of that Asian woman catching those birds and putting them in a plastic bag? She got arrested for cooking them? Yeah, I'm waiting. Those dumplings you eat? Remember I told you those dumplings? I know. I can't get dumplings anymore.

You've ruined them for me. I didn't ruin them. I tried to tell you not to go down there. Well, why did you have to tell me about it? Well, because But Dan went down there. But Dan killed himself. So those fucking things don't look too good no more, do they? Right or wrong?

It's tough to sell those fucking kumchi fucking cat fiddles now. Oh, man. That's nasty. I wouldn't go down there and eat one of those fucking things if you paid me. God knows what's in that ball of meat. Oh, fuck that. That's what I don't know. Mike. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This guy

were good. Now, I want Van Dane. Paula likes, I don't give a fuck what she likes. I like that. And then he took his father's like lizard place around the corner. They're filthy Mexican people over there. The first time I moved up here, I went to the Y and just mentioned it in the Y. This is great. You can lift weights and go around the corner.

It was like I said fucking the N-word. The whole place looked at me. They're like, don't go in there. They served like a jaguar in there, like four years ago to somebody, and they got sick. They were bleeding out of asshole. This poor bastard. What do you mean? They said like they, there was fake meat.

Oh, man. And one day, well, I even know it, this guy comes up and he says, that place is great. And that's what I knew. First of all, it's not great. But second of all, they didn't do that. That would be, they have the internet now. There's no. You can pay the tape shit off.

Like, yelp. Yes, you can. Yelp, you can pay to get their favorite movies. But not news articles. Like, hey, they look to get to Jeter. Go look for my fucking kidnapping. Go look for the news article when I kid, and that about it was if you can't find it.

It wasn't in the 19, whatever, it was in 2000. It doesn't matter. They shit disappears. Who are you going to believe? Some fucking article or 20 people at the YMCA that looked at you like... Where are these 20 people? They probably start the Y working there. I just don't like them because they put letters.

You can just tell. You know how I can tell little things. When I look at your glass and I see fingerprints on your glass to enter your place, that means you're a filthy fucking animal. and the people that are working for your filthy fucking animals because they have no initiative. I see 20 pieces of fucking fingertips on your fucking restaurant glass. I don't go in there.

That's a hostess's job to wipe that fingerprint. Oh, yeah, man. Like you never... There are little things that you just go. You learn, man, like, man, they have to do a lot of cleaning a lot to have a restaurant. A lot. They have to be cleaning shit all the fucking time.

It takes a lot for me to go to a bar and eat, number one. I can see that. Those bars, those create to eat onion rings and shit, that since I was a kid. You ever go back then look at the bartender? The guy that's cooking? Take a look at the guy that's cooking in those bar jobs.

You could tell they're not fucking no fiber beta captains. I'm no fucking, I'm no genius here. But those guys are cooking bars. Nowadays, they're getting some like, in those like gastro pubs and stuff, they're getting some like really legit chefs now. Oh, no, no.

In those pubs and shit, I think, yeah, but you're paying for it. But you don't want to go to some like those fucking bar. Like a crazy. And half those places were around this area. Like the one bar that he went to, we used to do comedy down there where they were fucking scraping

the rats, whatever. We used to do comedy down there. Then they went back to being filthy and they tried to get Barr Rescue to come back and they told him to go fuck all those places. There was another place that Bar Rescue went to in Boulder, not the place that remember when Red Band got mugged by the magician?

Breckles or something like that? Red who? Black Wizard. Black Wizard? Somebody mugged them. with a black wizard who the fuck you know it's red man somebody robbed them i don't know what happened i don't ask what you mean the rapper red man no no no a comedian a joe rogen little red band whatever his name is i'm brian red band yeah his name is brian red man he was they did a bunch of bars

in burbank they did a bunch of bars locally yeah yeah and they all went back to being filthy fucking yeah yeah so it don't matter bro if you're a filthy fucking i can just tell there's a cuban place on victory down the clock from Alberto's. Yeah, Mombos. Yeah, it's mom. No, no, no, no. That's the other place in Glendale. No, no, no, no. If you go the other direction. If you go on victory.

I know where you're talking about. It's right there before the yes, Pat, yeah. Cross from Costco. No, no, no, no. Kama. Can you place across from Costco? Mamba is Glendale the other direction on victory. If you go the other direction of victory, you go to Costco. Up to the corner. Look across the street, there's Costco. You see a

McDonald's? When you make Look to the left, there's a McDonald's, there's, there's a Cuban joint in there. I went there for Mercy's Baptist. Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. We went there a couple times. It's in a little shopping center? Yes. And the last two times I went in there was so filthy.

Oh, no. And the food was so fucking old. But what pissed me off was the amount of fingerprints on the glass. It had been like a week and a half since they had cleaned that. So you mean to tell me that one employee in this place had the initiative to wipe that, wipe that glass down. One of my pet peeves is when I see something on the floor and nobody picks it up. That you walk past the thousand times.

You know, I was doing that shit in the ocean today, dude. I was in Long Beach at Regley's Dog Beach. And I was like swimming in the water and I was like, man, I can't just sit here and look at this fucking straw in the ocean. You know? Or there's fucking plastic and shit. So I was like, I'd grab it and I just fucking had it like go throw it away and I'd come back. And I did that a few times. today, man, because fucking people just don't appreciate

shit, man. It's fucking all kinds of shit in that water, you know? Oh, it drives me crazy. Well, I see people walk past something. Yeah, yeah. Like, same thing, like, at the gym, man, you know, like all that tape they put on the shit, it fucking ends up on the floor, and I just can't look at it. I got to pick it up, man. Just throw it away.

Take the initiative and clean that shit up, man. That's why the restaurant business is no joke, man. You got to be on top of all that stuff. Otherwise, you know, they come in and they inspect you and then they fucking find you. But let me tell you something, bro. Let me tell you. Before they inspect you, they call you and tell you they're coming. That's why if you see a restaurant, they don't have an A rating.

You can't do business with them. Because you know I'm coming. It's not like I just show up on a Tuesday. They tell you they're coming. They give you adequate date to get all your stuff ready. And then guess what? When you don't have it ready, they give you another notice, and they give you time to get it ready.

So if you don't get it ready, you're basically a filthy fucking animal. But sometimes in the L.A. rating system, it's a B because of simple little things. So you have to look into it. Like sometimes don't be scared. Don't let the rating. You have to see some of the best tacos I've ever got this from a Mexican dude with dirty hands. Let's be y' eye.

When I see a fucking Mexican lady with gloves on, that's not going to be a good taco. You know what I'm saying? I see a skinny chef. I don't want to do business with that guy. That's a little extra flavor. I want to see a fat fucking chef. You show me a fat chef.

That's a chef. Show me a guy that's got time to do kettle bells. He's a chef. That's a chef. That's a poster boy. You know what I'm saying? There's something about, you know, the best taco.

you get are going to be in a street corner and the guy's going to have filthy hands grease soda ice mustard I gotta take you to my favorite vegan taco place I wouldn't go in there if you fucking paid me it's not it's it's not a place it's a pop-up no no I don't want to see what I don't do that he hates

everything you just did he yeah all curry curry oh hey curry no I think the word pop-up pop-up you know what's a pop-up the pop-up is like uh like they have these like little pop-up restaurants well they'll um they set up a tent

in front of like i don't trust them that means they're going to leave so you don't do so you never did like that they're not gypsies they're gypsies you want me to eat your restaurant i'm got to be able to come back the next day and complain you're able to eat and then you don't eat it like little taco trucks on the side of the road or stuff like that unless they come with a big time reputation well you can you know why man i have a i've always been disgusted by food spanish people call it aquo i'm in a acco there's certain things are the fucking filthy to me Like there was a girl I don't want to mention what nationality she was. I loved her death.

She was my best friends, but she was filthy. And because of her nationality, I don't eat her food. Because she was filthy. She wouldn't wash dishes. And nothing pisses me off more than that. But to the point where I would see little flies in the air, those little gnats and shit. And she would cook and I go over there and she'd go, you're hungry? I never ate her food because I knew she was filthy.

Good pussy, but she was just filthy. So I'm one of those people. I look at different things. I don't like a lot of weird stuff. Once there's too many moving parts, I don't do it. And I'm like that with Cuban food. I'm very hypocite. Very critical.

Cuban, Italian food, very critical. Because I grew up around it. I grew up around. I grew up with good food. I don't have a lot of good assets, but one thing is I know good fucking restaurants. And I know when I go to a guy, because I don't judge a restaurant just by the food. I judge it by the overall value. I want to feel that like I ate great.

But I also, what I spent was worth the value. And then food today, you get what you pay for. You're not, you know, when you eat a dollar steak in Vegas, you're not getting a grade A steak. That steak's been three weeks old. This is a market. They dip it in a chemical. It gets pink again.

And you eat it for a dollar before it gets old before they throw it away. That's fucking disgusting. So you get what you pay for in this in this world. You really do get what you pay for. Yeah, I can agree with that for sure. So you have to be very careful with what you eat. And I've been like this. You know who is still this is?

me, well, you gotta remember one thing, bro. For me being a fat fuck, I don't need fast food. I'm not a fast food guy. I just started going back to McDonald's five years ago because of my daughter. Before that, I had been walking to McDonald's. It's got to be,

it was 25 fucking years. Because I wasn't allowed. Close that door, Professor. Now we're getting fucking every plane that comes in wants to land now. 9.30 at night, they want to land now. Now Tom Cruise wants to land this fucking plane. I wasn't allowed. to eat fast food as a child.

So I didn't touch fast food I was probably 18. When these chicken sandwich was the first fast food, I would sneak a fucking Big Mac when I went to Miami because in Miami my cousins were allowed to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken and Big

McDonald's, but I couldn't tell my mother I would eat it at all. She would not allow me in Kentucky Fried Chicken. As I got older, I liked to... Now I wouldn't walk into Kentucky Fried Chicken. chickens are fucking disgusting. Oh, man.

All that fast food is fucking horrible. You know, and I'm not an... Listen, I'm a fat fuck. I'm not an advocate for them, but you got to... I think you got to do yourself a little bit better, you know? If you're going to eat, eat the best. Like, if I'm going to eat salami, I'm going to eat salama. I'm going to eat salimi. I'm going to go with the best.

I'm not going to eat salami from fucking subway or one of these jersey mics or one of these shitty fucking chains, you know? Yeah. I try to get the baby. I love jersey mics. If you're going to get cancer, get good cancer. You get cans and get some good fucking solombi.

When is the seminar professor? The certification, it's this coming weekend, 21st and 22nd, Saturday and Sunday. Listen, if you live in the area, all day long. If you live in the area, you love fitness. You don't live in the area. You can still drive down. If you don't live in the area, if you love fitness,

if you really love your body, if you want a different attack to it, this is the guy to do it. You know, I took a lot of your exercises. You know, I jekund out it. And you know what, man, I use those bats. For my shoulders, I use those bats once a week for recovery from my shoulders from Alberta. I do the kettlebell swings with the bats and I twist my wrists and I do all that.

So I borrow from a couple different little principles. That's Bruce Lee's philosophy is take what's useful and discard what... See, Lee and I used to go to a kettlebell place that that guy was very good. He was a Pavlov-based guy. Pavel. But then we went to a different place where the guy was a jerk-off-based guy. and he was making us do jerk off exercises, and in fact, he was hurting us.

Now, in hindsight, we were getting hurt because I remember going there on a Tuesday and not being able to do shit till Friday. You got to know how to use them, man. Because, like, if you're fucking up your students and hurting your students, they're not going to come back. You know, so I learned that a long time ago, man, how to warm up properly about it.

So it's such a big part of kettle of old training. That's why when people see those workouts on Instagram, they ask me all kinds of questions, and they want to go do it. I'm like, hey, man, remember, we, we do a whole warm-up before we do this, you know? Right. It's very scary, because I go to a few, I go to, like, three different gyms now for different reasons, and I see people doing it in a way that I was taught you're going to get hurt doing that. Yeah. And, like, look at me, I can't tell anyone to, like, not work out a certain way, but it, like, you can get really, like, there are people that I worked out with, they got really hurt.

I had back problems in the aim. Yeah. I know. My Achilles for a while was hurting, and I had. to adjust and rest for a while. I thought it was going to snap. Yeah, for sure, dude. If you don't know what you're doing, you try to teach somebody some kettlebell shit,

and you fuck up their back, and then their back can be fucked up for life. I tell people all the time. Before you fuck with kettlebells, go work with somebody. Go work with somebody three times. No, don't, because a lot of people think YouTube is instruction.

I want you, even if, let's say I like Joey Alvarado's workout, but I live in fucking Cleveland. I like Joey Alvarado's workout. I've looked at it. I think I can do it. there's somebody in the area that I can do a private with. Yeah, it's always good to get some hands-on training.

It's a hands-on training. Just to get to get you back. But research them and ask them where they get their training. Right. No, no, you got to go on their website and read. I say research everybody, man, and if they look them up on YouTube, look them on and see what they're doing and see who, see who they're training too. You know, like a lot of, there's a lot of all these kettlebell experts out there, man.

And you look at them and you see them on the Instagram doing all kinds of stuff, but you never see them training anybody. You know what I mean? The people who are like in the in the trenches like me every day teaching people. I teach people. It's my profession. So I know how to do it. You know, there's a lot to it. You know, so find a, find a qualified person to teach you the basics and teach you how to warm up and teach you the mechanics of the exercise and stuff like that too, you know. It's really important. It's very important. With anything, man, same thing with Jiu-Jitsu. You're not going to fucking learn Jiu-Jitsu off a fucking YouTube video, right? People do it. People, I know, I can imagine that they do it with kettlebells, they do with everything, barbells, everything, man. They just look it on YouTube and then try to do it.

But like, you know. Didn't Evan Tanner teach himself how to fight from watching fucking videos of Jitsu? I've learned how to do a bunch of shit watching videos. I watch videos. I got more confused than when I was when I walked in for a fucking joint. I keep a simple lesson. Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing is like sometimes with Jiu-Jitsu, you know, people want to learn everything at once.

So they start watching videos and they start getting so deep that they can't even remember the fundamental. You know what I mean? So like those Jiu-Jitsu videos and stuff like that They could actually hurt you and you know like Because it's just so much information You can't process everything about Jiu-Jitsu at once you know So you should always just like kettlebells You should establish that foundation first

When I could get those basics down and then build off of that So you teach this Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I teach it six days a week So like oh that's right because the other days are at 10 No no no no The Tuesdays or Thursdays 6.30 p.m. and Saturday's at 10 a.m. The kettlebell. Other than that, other than that,

like, it's all jiu-jitsu. I teach jihitsu as well. And you're covering for professor now. I will be his buddies here from out of town right now. One of his best friends from Brazil. His name is Alessandra. He's like a fourth degree and he's been covering the classes, but he's going to go to New York. So I'll be covering the noon classes and all that stuff before. So you've a Saturday, 10 a.m. class?

Saturday at 10 a.m. man. It's a good one, man. That's a cool time. You know, you can sleep in a little bit and then make it over there. Yeah, sure do. 10 a.m's a good time. There's a lot of times I wake up a fourth time. I'm like, I'm going to go see Professor and they fuck that. Most heart attacks happen from 530 to the lunchtime.

Fuck that. Is that really? Yeah, that's well known. That's right. I've got to be careful. I'm 55. I don't even eat pussy in the mornings no more. Fuck, can I stop?

Conserve your energy? No, because your heartbeats too much. I get too worked up in the morning, so I can't stop. Yeah. I can't even give my wife a stabbing no more in the morning. So I just got to keep it simple now in the morning. I don't do nothing, though, about 9 o'clock. I'm not really cooking, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I got you. I appreciate. Thank you for coming on. I love coming on. What's the YouTube where they can find? Kettle Jitsu. If you just look, Google Kettle Jitsu, all my social media and everything will come up.

This guy is one of my all-time favorites, man. That's why I put him on the show. He's a music guy. You miss Chris Cornell? Man, I do. Like, to be honest with you, like, I still kind of have a hard time when a song comes up on the radio, man. I have a hard time listening to it a little bit, you know?

because it kind of hurts a little bit, you know? Did I, did I, do you ever see that picture of me and him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one from Luxembourg. No, it was in Sweden. Sweden, but you were there on a jihitsu. Yeah, yeah, I was on my way to Rome and I was, I was in a layover, and I was just walking, and he walks right past me. I was like, holy shit, I was like Chris Cornell, and he turns around and he looks at me.

And first of all, like, fuck this man, is fucking tall. But that's the first time I was ever starstruck. And like, like, since I was starstruck, he looked even, like, bigger and larger than life. And I was just like, you know me, man. I like to talk, but like I was trying to tell him how much his music meant to me. And I think maybe I did. I don't know. But I felt like I was stuttering.

I couldn't figure out. I felt stupid. He was just kind of like grinning. Like, he's like, hey, thanks, man. And he took a picture with me. And man, that was pretty awesome. But yeah, I do miss him, man. It's crazy when somebody dies.

Like, Prince died, you know. Yeah. Michael Jackson died. I miss him. I miss everybody. You know, like, you listen to the music and go, wow. I can't believe they're gone. But Chris Cornell, whenever I hear like the other day,

I listen to Bad Motor Fingers, my shit. Oh, that's the fucking... You know, I love Super Unknown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Super Unknown. I think Bad Motor Finger was the first album where they just got it, everything together. They really, now was the Chinese guy gone for Bad Motor Finger?

Yeah, the bass player. Kim Thiel, yeah. No, no, no, no. He's a guitar player. But for the first album, they had a Chinese bass player. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hero Yamamoto. Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah. He left after... louder than love, I think. The first one? No, the first one was Ultra Mega. Ultra Mega. Okay. Yeah, and they had a couple of EPs before that, and the Hero Yamamoto.

And then after that, they were interchanging. They had Jason Everman that he actually used to be in Nirvana back in the day. Okay. The guy with, like, he had, like, long, curly hair, kind of like Chris Renau, but it was, like, red. And they had him through the, like, Latter Than Love Tour, because I saw them in Germany together. I actually met them back then at a small little club, too.

and then after that that's when they got what's his name Ben fucking awesome bass player now he owned it when I lived in Seattle he owned the club one of somebody on the club either the bass player or the drummer oh really yeah on the club right now Matt Cameron

that's the drummer for Soundgarten yeah the best drummer ever besides John Bono somebody owned the club like two doors down from our friend Josh Wolbs club he ran a Lobo lobo loco and they were on the same block I never went in that and you know want to embarrass myself

I don't know nobody Meida Oyakaya. I don't know nobody. I don't know no about nothing. I love you, Professor. Have a great week. Don't forget. He'll be there this for Saturday, Sunday, 7 a.m.

Like I said, if you're looking for something different to push your heights, looking to change your body, looking to get healthy, this is a guy to do it. I mean, we've been dear friends for years, and I use a lot of his principles. He turned me on to the Turkish fucking get up, and now I love it. Don't forget, as usual, supplements, whether it's fucking, what do you think I did this? morning when I got up I had breakfast and I popped three shroom tech amunes why because I'm getting on a plane with a bunch of filthy fucking animals see Japanese people they put a gas mask on and they're prepared for these filthy fucking

fucking people me I take fucking shroom tech immune and before I work out tomorrow morning I'll be shroom tech sport and fucking during the week after my little workouts what you think it is it's a Mexican chocolate the weight protein why because I believe in honor I believe in their supplements go to honor com right now and press in church bam and get 10% off delivered right to your fucking door that's a bad clean the supplements out there trust from time you number two you're looking for mats for your little garage you want to throw some people around you're looking for shingar's or mui Thai you're

looking for nice gloves you're looking for the fucking best guy out there you know me dog I'm a Fuji sports guy all the way to the end I love Fuji I had a couple other geese that were heavy Fuji is just right whether you go for the fucking 96 89 79 dollar ghee or you want to up your game with the psycho two redone the supper rito or the fucking elemental. Fuji's the way to fucking go. They're light, they're tough, and they'll fucking take a beating. You understand me?

Go to fujisports.com right now and press in. Church? Bam! And get 10% off delivered to your house, plus you're helping out to church, all right? I want to thank Professor Joy Yavirot. I want to thank the Christkiller. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys. Without you guys, I have who God's dick, nothing.

It's Monday morning, go out there and show them that you're going to fuck them up this week. You're going to blow up the outside world, you bad motherfuckers. It's all about you. Take them to the hoop. Who gives a fuck about what they're thinking? It's about what you're thinking, all right? Stay black, have a good week, and we'll see your Wednesday morning, tip-top, Magoo, ready

to go. Have a great fucking day. Kick that fucking Mulee. Oh, yeah. Neil Young for you, motherfuckers. Here we go.