The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #609 - Jim Florentine

Episode Date: August 15, 2018

Jim Florentine, comedian, host of the "Comedy Metal Midgets" podcast and the author of "Everybody is Awful (Except You!)," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you... by:   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 08/15/2018.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings from Podcastville. The church of what's happening now is brought to you by my family, Audit, supplements, weights, fucking elk. What about you? Listen, you want to get in shape, you want to get your mind right? Go to audit.com right now. Take a look at the alpha brain. If you don't like it, if it don't help you out after two, three weeks, you can return it. We don't even want the fucking product.
Starting point is 00:00:20 We'll send you a check. Who does that in this business? Who does that in this industry? Audit, because they believe in what they sell. Go to audit.com right now and press in. church bam and get 10% off delivered right to the fucking casa you understand me you can't beat that you don't have to leave the house and go to some fucking health food store right at your fucking house got a park some guy in front of you got a fucking twitch you don't need
Starting point is 00:00:41 that shit number two you're going to jihitsu you want to get you going to muitai to get a listen get yourself some fucking fuji sports dot com right there the shin guards the boxing gloves the fucking geese are tougher than debt you understand me they're bulletproof nobody even tells you that shit. I'm a fat fuck. People pull me in their guard. They're hanging on me. My collar. I got fingerprints. Nothing. The ghee still comes home and it's beautiful and it's washed. Intact.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Why? Tough. These Japanese people don't fuck around when it comes to the ghee. You understand me? Anyway, go to Fuji Sports.com right now and press in church and get 10% off-delivered to your house and you're helping out to church. Kick this fucking meal. Lee. It's Wednesday the 15th. 30 years
Starting point is 00:01:27 since I got sentenced. Ticket. Oh shit. Curts to what's happening now, motherfuckers. I'm in love, but I just could tell us so. Jimmy Florentine. The Christ Killer. Uncle Joey.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Don't get no better than this, guys. 1973, get your fucking wing. That's like he's mad for the first time. Listen to this. Get it on. We've been the one to get it on. What? Are you fucking nuts or what?
Starting point is 00:02:33 And you thought the head, ah, you're like, Jamie's got a gun. Fuck, Jamie's got a gun. This was never doing heavy-duty Chinese heroin. People were jumping off fucking buildings. You understand me? It's Wednesday. The 15th, I got beautiful Jimmy Florentine in studio, Jersey's best.
Starting point is 00:02:49 God damn, did that sound good? Did it not? Holy shit. Why does it sound good after 40 years? Why? It's not supposed to. I'm supposed to listen to that and go, really, Joey? that again
Starting point is 00:03:01 some of the stuff stood the test of time some of it sounds a little dated I gotta be I say this a lot and people go freak out some of the Beatles stuff to me sounds a little dated
Starting point is 00:03:11 yes it does it sounds like you put it on now you go eh yellow submarine like some of those songs hard days night I don't know it just doesn't it doesn't do it for
Starting point is 00:03:21 like if you just start put that on now you're like ah I don't really get it but something like that it sounds like it was recorded yesterday Are you ever in the mood for it, even though it's dated?
Starting point is 00:03:31 Or you can't listen to it at all? I can't really listen to it all. I'm like, I, you know, there are some songs, obviously, but there's some that just didn't, they don't sound fresh. Yesterday, I went over to my favorite fucking record store over here in Burbank. What's the one name of it? Atomic. Atomic.
Starting point is 00:03:50 We went over, and last time when Henry Rollins was in, I told Henry, I usually go to Atomic, so I went in there yesterday. I had these albums at the house. I had doubles. You don't have doubles of shit People give you on the road I went and picked up Oh dark side of the moon
Starting point is 00:04:04 Look at this Oh if you want blood you got it A monster Pat Benatar Oh that's a good one The first foreigner Rumors Stevie Nick's the first one
Starting point is 00:04:14 But I had to take this one This is a fucking master Like this Those Beatle albums Once they discovered the marijuana And the heroin And he started eating that fucking Yoko Ono's asshole
Starting point is 00:04:26 It changed Like everything fucking change That's what happened. He ate Yoko on those asshole. Next thing you know they were adding Chinese tunes. Hey Jude, Revolution. Paperback writer, I should have known better. Lady Madonna, can't buy me love.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Don't let me down. Ball of John and Yoko Rain. This shit from, I think, Revolver. I don't know the exact thing. Give it a listen to. Give it a listen to. Just put it on YouTube one day. That shit, that's it.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Can't Buy Me Love and all that. I wipe my ass with that shit. It's like, no, there's, look, there's some. I fucking hate it. This, I love all this shit. The bad company. I love all this shit. I read the man who led Zeppelin and he only manages Led Zeppelin and had a bad company.
Starting point is 00:05:09 So I got back into bad company. Only the two bands that were on Swan Song at the time. Yeah, that's it at the time. Now, as music fans, even though, let's say you don't like the Beatles, do you still respect them looking back seeing what they were able to do? Or are you just like, no, you're an idiot if you say to, you know, you can't respect the Beatles and the Beatles weren't that were overrated and we're not good. I was just more of a stones guy
Starting point is 00:05:31 Because my older brothers brought that shit in the house Whatever they brought in I liked And they brought more to Stones than the Beatles Are your brother still music guys like you? Yeah, yeah We just went to see Leonard Skinner's final tour How was it? It was phenomenal
Starting point is 00:05:45 Phenomenal Every song My son knew half the fucking songs Every song one after another I know this one I know this one I know this one I know this one I know that one Unbelievable I've been seeing them every year
Starting point is 00:05:57 you're a true fucking troupe of love it's great you go to a concert you have your tailgate you have fucking beers in the park a lot you bother people the guy coming around trying to sell a bootleg shirt you fuck with him you know he's trying to sell him he goes there's 70 dollars inside i go no they're not then there's never been a concert t-shirt that's 70 dollars inside you're selling you for 30 in the park lot if i see you after the show you'll be giving it to me for five dollars give it to me for 10 right now before you get busted and we just bust balls and fucking hang out and look at hot chicks walking by. Well, Skinner, there wasn't really that many hot chicks.
Starting point is 00:06:30 But, and it's fucking great. Then you go into the show, you're drinking beers and fucking listen to live music and they're actually playing. Nothing better. I don't hike. I don't fucking fish. You don't play golf. I don't play golf.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Nothing. None of that shit. Your hobby is. I go to, go to concerts and drink some fucking beers and have a good time. I tell you, I haven't tailgated for a concert. I don't know how long. We get there like, Forney afternoon to shows and start to late.
Starting point is 00:06:58 You get there at fucking 8th. You know, your valley, your car, whatever fuck they do now, you know, it's a different experience than hopping on a bus to 48th, whatever the fuck box drops you off at. And by the time you got to the city, that acid you took on the Jersey side starts to kick in and you got to walk to the garden. You know, it's like an eight block walk to the garden. I forget what it was. That experience will be etched in my brain. Forever. I could tear up right now. Like I could tear up saying that that's never going to happen in my life again, where I still remember going to see ACDC with Brian Johnson on a Friday night. It was August 1st, 1980. I still remember leaving the lumber yard at 5. Going home, washing my pussy, calling Kurt, God rest his soul. And I made him meet me at 29th Street and New York.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Avenue, the last bus place where you could take the bus into Jersey. There's a post office down the corner. And there was a guy in there. His name was Jack Finn. I worked with an Irish guy from Weehawk in New Jersey. This is in Weehawk and New York. 29th in New York Avenue is borderline Wehawk in Union City. Yeah, because I lived right on Gregory Avenue. It's the last place you could take the bus into Manhattan.
Starting point is 00:08:21 That's it. And there's a bar there. It used to be called Otto's on the corner. And listen to me. Never forget going in there would maybe, you know, what I have in those days. We bought a half gram of Coke from Jack Finn. Jack Finn was the first person that I ever saw get coked up and make faces. By the time I started making, it took me three, four years to start making faces and start wiggling my hands. Jack Finn was in 1980 was already getting creeped up and doing shit.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Like when you bring them in front of people, people go, what the fuck is this problem? Yeah, the guy's here. He's gonna be right back. He was creepy or shit, but you gotta, I'm gonna get you a gram. This shit's great, but you gotta leave something for the mouse. You know, so you would have to leave him two lines of coke. And I still remember being, whatever 1980 was, I was 17. And getting on the bus with Kurt, we bought a pint of blackberry brandy and an eight pack of nips.
Starting point is 00:09:17 And we drank them on the fucking bus. Like you just chugged them. Bus driver didn't say shit to you. You could be fucking, we were kids drinking those fucking bees. is on the bus. We split them and then we got off on the Port Authority, went downstairs, and the whole walk. In fact, that was at the palladium. That was not at the garden. ACDC with Def Leopard, August 1st, 1980. We went to the palladium. And I'm never fair. I was just telling somebody that you had to go. I was telling Timmy Holloway that you had the cool people,
Starting point is 00:09:51 the people who knew drugs knew that if you went behind the palladium, there was a fence that was ripped down and you could go back there before the show started, and people were back there banging, drinking. Oh, yeah. A lot of people didn't know about that. There was a little fence back there. So me and Kurt, this white kid, the Lorenzo, went back there to the couple bumps.
Starting point is 00:10:12 We finished the Blackberry Brandy. It was the hottest night ever in New York City. I was at that show. The hottest night I have ever, ever experienced. I got jeans on, a T-shirt, and ACDC, Def Leppie came up and destroyed. And then ACD, or it could have been Iron Maiden. It was either Iron Maiden.
Starting point is 00:10:30 It was Deppard, yeah. And then ACDC came out with the fucking bell. You know, and in those days, we used to do acid and then do blow, and we had a quailute for later. I mean, it was over. I still remember walking home with such a high. ACDC was sensational. But that was my tailgate.
Starting point is 00:10:52 And then I started going to where you were another concert that I went to that you went to, where you threw a fucking cherry bomb. That was a, yeah. At Don of Asbury Park, convention hall. Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. When I heard that story, I had to pull up like, I'm on, I was at that fucking show. Because there was a trend of people throwing
Starting point is 00:11:09 fucking cherry bombs. And it was you. Always. Firecrackers, cherry bombs, M80s. But I never forget going to see the Stones and foreigner at Philadelphia, at the stadium.
Starting point is 00:11:22 At JFK. Summer of 78. And at that point, We saw some kinky shit. But it wasn't until I went to see Dio with Sabbath and Sammy Hagar with Shaken Street down at Philadelphia, where we were outside. I tailgated for that one.
Starting point is 00:11:40 That's a spectrum, yeah, because you could tailgate in that park. I don't forget tailgating there, and we're out there with G-Bocke blasting like fucking, like we own the place. And all of a sudden, they took us by the heads, and they're like, FBI, open your trunks. We all had piled around us. We all had fucking quailudes.
Starting point is 00:11:58 We had everything on us. They made us open our trunks, and they were looking for shirts. The bootlegs. The bootlegs. The counterfeit shirts. And they didn't care about the drugs? They didn't give shit.
Starting point is 00:12:08 They searched everything. They even found a package of Coke. Left it. Nothing. That's the concert where we stopped on a McDonald's, and we had, like, 13th row. But my buddy came back, and he goes, look, I got six-row tickets.
Starting point is 00:12:21 I go, what did you do with those tickets? He was, they traded them. I go, I'm going to fucking kill you. He's a counterfeit. He just got taken. No, no, they were real, Jimmy Florentine. They were real. They were real.
Starting point is 00:12:32 We went right up to the 6th row. We were watching people spit on their fingers in Philadelphia and fling it at Sammy Hagar. Sammy Hagar was so terrible with Shaken Street. Now, he was on tour at that time, and Ronnie Montrose was on tour, on two different tours. So we got to see Sabbath. It wasn't Blue Oyster Cult yet that was opening for them. Remember, and then they went on the Black and Blue Tour.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Yeah. This was still Sammy Hagar. And I'll never forget us looking around, tripping, and people spitting at their fingers flinging at Sammy Hagar and Sammy Hagar, like duck and spit from fucking people in Philadelphia. This is why when I saw the Bill Burr show, 30 years later, I laughed my ass off. Because I go, that's nothing. I saw them spitting on their hands throwing it at Sammy Hagar.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Who does that shit? Jim, you said something a couple minutes ago that it wasn't a good, It wasn't a good show to see girls. Did you guys ever meet girls at these shows? You didn't give a fuck. Well, first, that ACDZ Def Leopard show. I remember Joe said that that was the hottest night in New York. Okay, so me and my friend took the train in from Jersey.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Went to, walking back to the garden after the show, we just bought seven ACDC shirts. We saved all our money. We got the baseball jersey. We got them all because we were so excited. We're going to buy every. So we walking back and we got mugged by three Puerto Ricans. They took our shirts. We're just talking.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Oh, my God. Was that great the encore? Boom. they punch us in the head. They grab our shirts and just walk away to a bigot in us. And I remember yelling,
Starting point is 00:13:58 go, where the fuck are you guys gonna wear those shirts? I'm like, what Puerto Rican is gonna go back to his, wherever he is from and gonna wear a fucking ACDC baseball jersey? The back in black fucking 1980 tour.
Starting point is 00:14:10 No one's gonna know that mute. And they just left with our shirts. And that was that concert that Joe he was at. Same concerts. But yes, girls would hook up with you at these shows. There would be some girls
Starting point is 00:14:21 that would come to the shows. you know, I remember, I don't know if I told us, sir, I put it in my book about seeing the scorpions at the spectrum. I got front row up somehow. It was a general mission. I got all the way out front. I went to go get some beers and I saw this hot chick. And it seemed like she was by herself, said, hey, you want to come in the front? I can get you in the front. We'll just switch tickets or whatever. Just follow me. Just keep walking like, you know where you are and we'll get right. So I get this go right in the front row on a scale of one to 10. And we're in the front row when the scorpions comes out. And we start making out before the score. Scorpions come on. I'm like, holy shit, this is great. They're on stage, and she starts flashing the band. She's showing her tits. And the band's going, yeah, give me the thumbs up. Give me the thumbs up. I'm feeling her up doing a show. I'm grinding my dick on her ass. We're making out. I'm sucking on a neck while they fucking play. I'm like, this is fucking amazing. I'm going to let me get laid after the show. I just met this chick. The scorpions is going to get late the show ends. One of the roadies comes over. He goes, hey, the scorpions want to meet you two. Come on and follow us. So I'm like, holy shit, we're going to meet the scorpions. We get the scorpions. We get the. to the fucking door and there's a big bouncer there and she goes first and then I'm going through and he goes no no just her
Starting point is 00:15:27 and I go no no they scorpions said they wanted me to go no just her and I go no but I mean he just stand there my way and the girl's walking I think her name was like Emily or whatever I'm like Emily they won't let me back she never even looked back didn't even look back didn't even look back
Starting point is 00:15:43 She was going back to the drink of blood and I was mad at the scorpions for taking my girl for like two years I'm like fuck them I had a little radio show I'm like I'm not playing I banned them Meanwhile, I was like a four on a scale of one and ten She was a nine I was just lucky that she fucking
Starting point is 00:15:57 She used me But I'm like course she's gonna fuck the scorpions Who wouldn't? I don't ever think I hooked up or tried to hook up With a girl in the show I took a girl to see Ted and ACDC at the guard
Starting point is 00:16:11 I was at that show That was hot August 4th the year before She was hot as shit This girl Bond went through the crowd With Angus on the shoulders I was blown
Starting point is 00:16:21 away. I still remember going on the bus for that show, and people had the ghetto blasters on the bus, on the Kennedy Boulevard bus, all the way to 20, you know, like all the way into New York with Highway
Starting point is 00:16:37 to Hell, blasting. That people were just for that show, people went to the show just to hang out outside. It was cool, just to hang outside the garden in those days. Even if you didn't have tickets. Yeah, what the fuck. You never know what was going to happen. You never know what was going to happen. If you just went over there, you were going to get it. There's
Starting point is 00:16:57 somebody in New York that will take a $5 bill, open up a back door and go, once you're in, you're in, it's up to you. Like in the town, remember when they robbed the, remember when they robbed Boston Stadium in the town? Fenway Park. And the guy goes, you never fucking saw my face, okay? The same way. The guys will take 10, give me five apiece. Really, we get in, yeah, but you got no tickets. You're going to get stopped. So you got a finagle, or you can stand to the side, so I learned that if I took five gorillas, I had a hard time. But if I kept my mouth shut and went by myself, I'd go all the way to the top for $5. So a lot of those shows, I used to go on on a whim.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Like, I don't need a ticket. I don't need a fucking ticket. Because I knew you were going, and you bought fourth row tickets. So I would just go into the city and buy $7 red seats, whatever the fuck they were, orange. And my goal was to sneak down to you guys. You guys would come up and get me. Yeah, and just give him an extra ticket. Give me an extra ticket.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Yeah, one guy would sit at the seats and then he'd bring two stubs up and he would give you to stub the six. And then both of you guys would walk down. We've been doing that for years. For years. So it was fucking brilliant because in my hometown, if you went to see Ted, AC, Judas, anybody, we ran 40 deep. Not that we all 50 of us went together, but clicks from different parks. You had 88th Street Park. You had 51st Street Park
Starting point is 00:18:19 You had 43rd Street Park You had 64th Street Field So we'd see each other in the city In fact, one of the famous things About my hometown was one of the guys I think Randy Mergle God bless his soul Had a North Bergen hat on
Starting point is 00:18:33 At that show Angus was real close to the stage Randy took it off through it Angus picked it up and put it on And did a couple things Took it off and threw it back to him The kid almost had a fucking heart attack That's the greatest
Starting point is 00:18:46 Like the kid almost had a heart attack Like somebody from Lincoln School, something happens. Tomorrow, Timmy Hollowell call me and say, what's this, this? Oh, my God. How did you remember that? Do you think, like, someone has pictures from back then at these concerts, and you might be in, like, I wonder if you guys are in a picture together,
Starting point is 00:19:04 in, like, the crowd or something. How funny would that be? It could be. Absolutely. We had all those shows. All of them to get right to the front at the Palladium, to Sabbath at the Guard with Van Halen, to, I think you went to Harold Smith at the Soap.
Starting point is 00:19:17 factory when they were broken they were just broken they were broken they were down to nothing they were like a fucking worst and like I just you sat there and said what happened Joe Perry was gone and they're at the soap factory in fucking this warehouse kind of place that was just a dump after playing at the plate at the plane at the garden for fucking Black Sabbath the giant stadium playing giant stadium and stuff yeah they that they fell that hard they fell that fucking hard it's so weird Now, a couple weeks ago, I was telling you, I'm watching Ted on Joe Rogan.
Starting point is 00:19:52 And it's interesting, and people make fun of Ted Nugent, and he's got crazy views, and he did some fucked up shit. Let me tell you something, motherfuckers. Do some of your homework and go back and bust out cat scratch, bust out some of the early M-boy Duke shit, like some of that shit, and then just turn on double-live gonzo. And all that feeling you had for Ted about that crazy shit he talks, will disappear. As I know I did,
Starting point is 00:20:21 I just had to be reminded. It's so weird how Lee doesn't know about a lot of people, not because he's dumb or because these people are really irrelevant. Like there's a guy, this guy, I want to get on the show. You know who this is on that thing right there? Hollywood Henderson. Yeah. I want to get him on the show.
Starting point is 00:20:42 If you go to his Twitter, he's got like, yeah, I need to get my story out there. Hollywood, I got bad men. news for you. First off, nobody knows who the fuck you are. I reached out there and this producer to come on the podcast. I go, because nobody knows who you are. You might walk around thinking people know who the fuck you are, but nobody knows who you are. You're a forgotten soldier. He went to jail in 1980. That's right, for some coke. After a fucking 10-year run of destroying L.A. He was hanging out with Pryor and the Poyner Sister, snorting Coke in a limo at the comedy store went to jail in
Starting point is 00:21:16 1980 in 1990 came out and he hit the Texas State lottery not once but twice really I didn't know that about him for dirty million dollars or something so he opened up a rehab he's clean and sober but if you go to his Twitter page
Starting point is 00:21:31 it says hey man help me sell my story sorry Hollywood nobody knows who the fuck you are and it's a shame when I watched Stephen Tyler on Joe Rogan It was one of the best podcasts I've ever watched. He was great on there, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:46 But the thing that came over me the most was, Jesus Christ, how many of you people put on his first album on Aerosmith after you watched that episode? The first two, three, four albums are masterpieces. Unbelievable. Toysmeatic, rocks, get your wings. Get your wings. The first Aerosmith. The sad thing is we don't know them is that.
Starting point is 00:22:11 like I feel bad introducing some of those bands because I feel ah these you know everything today is basically and even tools like our own man band now now it's getting red again and you know it moves so quickly when did he hit the lottery he uh let me see he hit it um I believe in 79 is that true or did he I'm sorry because he he was in prison for 28 months and he won 28 million dollars 28 million 28 million he was like he hit it and yeah, I'm trying to find the year he had. He was the modern day, like Marshawn Lynch.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Marshaun Lynch is crazy and everyone knows him. That's how Hollywood Henderson was, being on the Cowboys, America's team, and he was just nuts. He was like the guy before LT. He was like LT nuts. Like he was a great player, but he was also crazy. He was getting in fights and problems off the field and stuff. He was amazing when he played. But it was funny because I still remember when he took the Super Bowl, he took the can of Orange Crush and he smashed it.
Starting point is 00:23:14 he goes, I'm going to fuck you up in the Super Bowl. You took a can of orange crush and he smashed it. And then in the Super Bowl, he intercepted the ball and went for a touchdown. Right. And like, if you read his books, like, he bought like a kilo that night. I think he won the lottery in 2000, if I'm mistaken. Twice. Wow.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Yeah, it was in Austin, Texas in 2000. Twice. Who will the wins the fucking lot? See, and people used to, a lot of people don't know. The gangsters. Mopsters, high-ranking mobsers in the 70s. used to buy lottery. You know who else?
Starting point is 00:23:47 Whitey Bulger won the lottery twice because they would put it on the neighborhood. If you hit the lottery, let me know. I'll buy the ticket from your cash and I can clean my money. Really? That's why Whitey Bulger hit the lottery.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Look at Whitey Bulger's. He hit the lottery a couple fucking time. If you watch the movie, his brother even says to him one time, really, Whitey? Again, you hit the fucking lottery for $3 million? Because they would come up to Jim Florentine.
Starting point is 00:24:14 and going, we heard you got the ticket for three mil. We'll give you two mil cash. Then they'd probably stab you. Yeah. And they'd probably give you $100,000 and stab you. Like, give you $200,000. What? There's a article from 1995 in the Boston Globe that the FBI or something federal
Starting point is 00:24:32 ordered the lotterated commission to withhold a portion of the $14.3 million jackpot that he won. I told you. Paul Vario from Goodfellas bought a couple lottery tickets Yeah they paid two million cash for one half share of the winnings Dale Wells was notorious for buying lottery tickets Sammy the Bull Gravano I didn't know what I did that that's a tremendous way to wash your money It's a good man they know
Starting point is 00:24:58 Fucking crazy How do you find out about this stuff Who do the fucking thing you're dealing with when I was fucking 18 I was buying fucking Passports you get a social security card a license and an insurance car Oh yeah I was getting in clubs Joe the Baker. 15 had fake IDs, all that stuff, a driver's license.
Starting point is 00:25:14 In New Jersey, they had no white pictures. Yeah, it was no picture. So my brother was five years older than me. And you stole the license from your brother. He got a temporary one. Then you gave the brother the one he lost back.
Starting point is 00:25:24 He carried a temporary one. Yeah, he just says he lost it. He gives me his. Yeah. And it was only 18 to drink. So I was getting in a 15. I was going to see. So 15,
Starting point is 00:25:34 they're looking like you're going, you know, you look young. What sign are you? Yeah, like a chorus. Bam. You're in the fucking. And join. At least you guys knew.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I used to play that trick on people at movie theaters, and they would never know. I was just ask them what their birthday was. I wouldn't even ask them what their sign was. And they couldn't, they didn't think about it beforehand. There was a bar outside, like the palladium or the garden or somewhere around there, where they would just, you know, you were 14 years old. We would just go in and get pictures of beer and sit there before we go see shows. We were 14.
Starting point is 00:26:03 The girl will come over. We wouldn't sit at the bar. That was too risky. They know. They're fucking kids. And they come over. We need four pictures of beer. Beefsteak Charlies.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Remember that was the store? Big Steak Charlie. The Master Square Garden. We used to go to before a show and drink so much, and we puke into the pictures. And then put them back and put them back on the table. And then fill them up again because all you can eat beer and food. Beefsteak Charlie started out good. Yeah, it started out good.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Then people started getting, but this was before Salmonella. Yeah. People started walking out of there with their eyes and foam coming out of their mouths and shit. And Beefsteak Charlie had like a weird haircut. And he had like a mustache. So if you had a weird head cut in my neighbor, people call you beefsteak Charlie. Like beef steak, what's going on with that fucking head?
Starting point is 00:26:45 Beef steak, Charlie. Yeah, so we just get pitches of beer. You know, my friends would puke in them and then put them back on the table, more beer. You have a young son, right? Yeah. Because my dad would always, we'd always sit at the bar and get a Shirley Temple.
Starting point is 00:26:58 We'd get fucking an appetizer. You can't do that to that. They won't even let you sit at the bar anymore. No. Even if your dad's there, that's crazy. They don't give a fuck. As soon as they start serving alcohol, a minor cannot be in a,
Starting point is 00:27:09 anymore. Yeah. So if we're at the, let's say we go to the comedy store, and I bring Mercy with me. Mercy can hang with me at the store until 8 o'clock. At 801, Mercy has to step foot. As soon as they start a show, I got to pull Mercy out of there.
Starting point is 00:27:25 In the old days, you could at least have them there. Yeah. Your kid could sit next to your. It's a fucking different world now, bro. Like, if that's going to stop you from drinking, who gives a shit? Exactly. So can you guys send your kid?
Starting point is 00:27:37 I mean, maybe yours is a little older. Can you send him to a concert? or do you have to go with him now? No, we go together. I took him the White Snake, Farner, and Jason Bonham. And Jason Bonham's band does all Led Zeppelin. It's phenomenal. And Farner and Whitesnake.
Starting point is 00:27:51 And he shook David Coverdale's hand. We're on like the side, like up close, but by the side. And then he got a set list from the guitar player, brought it over to him doing a show. It's the fucking coolest picture. I got to pull it up. How old is your son now? He's seven. He's going to be eight on Saturday.
Starting point is 00:28:05 So you're exposing them to all this music. He just saw a matter of. Lamson and Rob Zombie. Loved it. Now when you smell weed, what does he say to you? No one's smoking that much weed. Really, like outside. There's not too much going on.
Starting point is 00:28:20 It's weird. You know, if they're doing it, maybe it'd park a lot or whatever. I don't know, this is Jersey, so people aren't smoking as much weed as they are out here. Oh, okay. You know, so it's still not totally legal there, so people are kind of hiding it. It's more drinking. I smell weed once in a while, but you can't even smoke outside it. There's a PNC Art Center.
Starting point is 00:28:39 It's in Jersey. It's an outdoor pavilion, but you can't even smoke outside there. There's like a designated area somewhere outside by a fence where you could smoke cigarettes, and that's it. But inside the venue can't even smoke, and it's outside. You know, I've got a roof over it, but it's still open. I heard Dodger Stadium has a designated spot for smoking weed. I don't know how true it is. I don't know what the source is.
Starting point is 00:29:01 I don't know if it's like, you know, you can't, you're not supposed to know about it. This is David Coverdale from Whitesnake. He's walking by and my son reaches out and he shakes his hand during the show. When was this? This was like two months ago. Look at David Coverdale. Still looking fucking good. Still good.
Starting point is 00:29:22 When they released in the album? There's a new album there. Yeah, it's coming out in the fall. They pushed it back a little. Who's his new people? He has all new personnel. Tommy Orridge is still on drums. He's a monster.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Still looks exactly the same. He does a drum solo with his hands. Tommy Aldrich. He's been around since Oz. He's to play in Black Oak Arkansas back in the day. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. How old are we talking about here?
Starting point is 00:29:51 He's got to be 70. 75. DeMose is 72. I'd say somewhere 69 to 72. And he's still an animal on drums. He does a drum solo. And he plays with his hands half the time. I called Rudy today.
Starting point is 00:30:04 See if we wanted to do some lunch. Maybe get some Cuban food. And Rudy was taping something. today and something tomorrow and I got out the phone with him and I'm like I bitch about my fucking life being busy he's got me by 10 years or something Rudy Sarser he's unbelievable the guy's insane that you know just a way it he looks amazing he hasn't aged a day in 30 years and he's he's out there performing touring with all these bands doing this playing on this record oh yeah okay yeah
Starting point is 00:30:36 fucking 40. I got a period. 50. I mean, do you guys, and I guess just, Jim, not bother you, but what does it make, how does it make you feel when you go and see these people? And you remember seeing them as teenagers
Starting point is 00:30:51 when you were teenagers in their, in their 20s or 30s, and now they're 60s, does it affect you? It inspires me because then, you know, as a comic, you always think, okay, I can't do this forever. And no one's going to give a shit.
Starting point is 00:31:03 But, you know, when you see these guys still up there and torn and doing it, It's like, why can't we do it in our 60s if we really wanted to? Not tour as much, but still do it. Like I always thought at some point that people aren't going to listen anymore and not going to care. But if these guys are doing it and they still have a fan base that grew up with them, you know, as a comic, you have your fan base that grew up with you. They're going to get older with you and they're still going to want to see you because it's still going to bring back good memories when they were younger. But they can't party as much.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Are there, are there musicians who still party the same? Rarely. Maybe, you know, a glass of wine after. or maybe before, but they're not really doing it. They know it's a business. You know, when you're getting $350 a ticket, you know. Is that really how much tickets are? Some of them, you know, some of them,
Starting point is 00:31:44 if he's sitting in the first, like, 20 rows or so. Jesus. So, Joe, the guitar player, when the White Snake ended, they doing a bows, he took this set list off the floor, and he ran over because he saw my son, like he was the only young kid in the front, and he handed up, and I got a picture that. So he handed him the set list from the White Snake show,
Starting point is 00:32:03 the guy ran over and just, and gritting. That's tremendous. Isn't that great? That's amazing that you're exposing. I mean, I can't imagine when they go in. Like, well, let's play this song. Let's play Sweet Caroline. He's like, fuck that.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Oh, yeah, he hates that stuff. I hate that shit. You know what was great about it? Like, he knew like one foreigner song. Foreigner songs are so catchy and so good. They're so well written. Within like a day and a half, he knew like three quarters of their set list. All the hits.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Dirty White Boy. Hot blooded. All that shit. Because they're such good. good songs and they're easy to pick up to listen to it's almost like ac dc a lot of ac ds songs are quick like some young person you want to get them into them something like tool is going to be too complex for them that's like even the old sabbitt stuff then it's just too it's all over the place but something like a far and it was just it was it was it was great so he knew the whole
Starting point is 00:32:57 fucking set list let me think i mean that shit too that feels like the first time fucking great stuff i got that first album yesterday because i like that one jam uh the fucking one based on the War of the Worlds. There's two fucking great jams on the first song. Right. War the world. And it was a Monday. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:19 A blue Monday, whatever. Oh, my God. It was first two. That album blew me the fuck away. Then the second one is Double Vision. Yeah. That one's little men's of men, but still great. Yeah, still great stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:30 A little bit commercial for me, but still fucking great, you know. So, yeah, yesterday I picked it up. Why haven't you ever picked up a fucking flute or a dream? I tried everything. I got no talent whatsoever. None. I tried guitar. I tried guitar. All my friends were in bands. That's what I hung out with. I was a lefty to like I can't I'm righty. Can you turn a guitar around? I go, no. No one could teach me because I was a lefty. I tried singing lessons. I went one time. The lady goes, look, you don't have it. I could take your money, but you just don't have any ear for music. She told me the first after the first lesson. I sang in my friend's band like in his garage. Like you suck. And I'm like, yeah, I do. So I just. I just. You just. You just. I just couldn't play. Drums. I just don't have an ear for music. I love music, but I just don't have the rhythm for it.
Starting point is 00:34:14 My son's got it. He's right down with it. He's playing the drums and music class. The teacher's like, Jesus, what the fuck did this kid get this from? My God, he didn't get it for me. So I just don't have it. I would love to. I was, you know, that's what I wanted to be.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I wanted to be a rock star. And then when I, you know, when I saw, you know, David Lee Roth being funny in interviews and I would go to see Twisted Sister as a 15-year-old. And they have to do five sets of night. Dee Snyder's, you know, killing time in between and just making fun of the audience and going on these raps and he's being funny. I'm like, fuck, man, this is cool.
Starting point is 00:34:45 And then when Dice and Kinnison came out, I'm like, fuck, these guys are like rock stars. That's when I was like, I'm doing comedy. That's nuts. Because I knew I wanted to be on stage, you know, somehow. And I couldn't do it as a musician. I tried music. I was at a good year for the drums, all that shit.
Starting point is 00:35:04 I could still play the drums naturally, just on the match. Give me a couple days to tighten shit up. Kong is anything percussion. I wanted to play the guitar, but something straighted me to the bass. I like the bass player
Starting point is 00:35:16 because he played in the back. Nobody knew what his name was. Nobody bothered him. And even at a young age, I kind of liked it. I was like, these people don't bother nobody. And the bass player still gets chicks. And he still player, he gets to fall over.
Starting point is 00:35:28 He's quiet. Somebody's getting his dick suck. He'll get somebody's too drunk. He'll get one one eye, something. And I went to pass to him. in Union City and I took lessons there. But I knew as I got older, like I was like, I'm switching to the guitar. I knew that with the drug use and just who I was, I knew that I would pawn the guitars.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Like, as I got older, I go, I'm never going to be able to have a guitar because I'm going to fucking sell it. I'm going to run out of money and I'm going to sell it. So I never really got a guitar. But till this day, it's still like up on the bucket list, like just to take a few lessons. just play, you know, but I know that it won't affect me that way. It'll affect me like an addiction. Right.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And then I'll start bringing the guitar on the road. And I'm not that guy on the plane. That has to carry the guitar. That drives me crazy. Yeah, I hate that guy. I hate that fucking guy. I know he's got to get his guitar from one place for another. No, why do you have this guitar?
Starting point is 00:36:26 Check the fucking guitar. If they break it, it's probably your best bet. Yeah, it's not that. It's not that value. No one knows who you are. So I don't want to do that, because I'll bring it the whole time. Because I can just see myself in a whole lot. from nine to fucking quarter to seven playing fucking you know animals by pink foyer or something so
Starting point is 00:36:43 yeah that's what scares me we're talking to transfer of addictions i picked that shit up like a fucking you know i just go now as it is like one week i eat fucking smoothies one week i fucking eat assaibos that i'm fighting weight watches why am i fucking gaining weight when i eat an assai bowl so i always got an addiction to something every week but yeah music It's funny. We had Rawlins in here. And I watched a bunch of his stuff. And he said something on one of the spoken words. And I don't know what it is about music that even lately,
Starting point is 00:37:17 didn't you see I was here yesterday? I came yesterday last night. I've been coming by lately and just putting it out. Putting the vinyl on. It's amazing. You know, like just putting vinyl on, reading the lyrics because of something he said. He said that, you know, take a lot of it.
Starting point is 00:37:36 about it. Way before there was fucking much joint therapy and the whole therapy thing. You know what our therapy was? Going to the record shop with the fucking money you save from your paper route. Coming home with maybe one of your buddies smoking a joint
Starting point is 00:37:52 and playing that album back to back to back. And then because there was nothing like being the first guy on the block to go, I got it already. Not bad. And they'll, you got it, can I borrow it? Not really. You know what I'm saying? You gotta walk up the hill like I did.
Starting point is 00:38:08 You gotta make me fucking, uh... But you know what, today's the anniversary of? Today's a sad anniversary. Yeah, it's 30 days, 30 years since I got sentenced. But today in 1979, the last Led Zeppelin the album came out. In through the outdoor? In through the outdoor.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And it really fucked me up when I read that today. Nikki Six puts that shit out every day on his little, I follow Nikki on Twitter, all the shit that happened, say, oh, the pretenders, two released their album today that was a great album yeah that was a good one that's a great island with birds of paradise uh but in through the outdoor started a fucking chain of bad luck for me like that was the kiss of death like i still remember being a 38 street park like arguing with motherfuckers like uh in the evening something he said and somebody was going uh it's like
Starting point is 00:38:57 it's a little disco-ish that guy that said that i still remember his name i don't know where he is he almost got a fucking beat in that day at that park. Like that's when we argued about music, and Led Zeppelin was the Bible. And this guy was like, I don't know. I don't like it through the outdoor that much. That one song, Jimmy Pay, Robert Plant says something.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Shake for me or something, something, something. Like dance. And this guy was like, they're kind of sound disco-ish. Like the Stone sold out in 76. And I remember everybody just looked at that motherfucker. But three days later, I was not. hospital. This is my birthday, August 18, 1779.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Yeah, like three days later, I was in the fucking hospital for a lung infection. I had Paraquot. They had sprayed the weeds. The government, if you grew weed, they sprayed it with a chemical and they would give you a lung infection. I couldn't play basketball that year. Then fucking September, like a month later, he died. They had John Bottom.
Starting point is 00:39:57 John Bottom died, you know, six weeks later. And I'll never forget that PLJ, that Friday, said, we're going to make an announcement. pretty soon about a tour that everybody's waiting to hear and I'm like that's Led Zeppelin at the garden That's gonna be 10 nights Yeah
Starting point is 00:40:12 We're gonna get tickets That's when you gotta mail in A fucking check And get four tickets in the mail Because there was some concerts That you actually went And stood online for A ticket tron
Starting point is 00:40:23 Yeah And I would always go to St. Peter's College In Jersey City Because it was empty Empty You could walk right into St. Peters Everybody else was at all these other Oh yeah we had to go to the mall
Starting point is 00:40:32 Like the East Brunswick Mall Oh my gosh God and wait outside of Bambergers Fuck And then we'd have to be they'd open it up because there'd be a line way out the door like the you know The night before we were in line for like 16 hours Jesus so it wasn't like a there wasn't a church or a college near us where we can go where no one went everyone went there Yeah we went we went we went we went I still remember when pink floyd door wall went on sale we went somewhere first
Starting point is 00:40:57 And the line was around the corner and my buddy goes you know what there's one at st peter's prep nobody goes there we shot right and walked in and we got first row up on the top looking straight at pink floyd and the first level up so they're perfect yeah you're not in the orchestra you're a level up they were perfect we just walked in there those tickets were $15 and 50 cents fuck you got you said something intro like when you were fighting did you guys have friends maybe all the way up until 6th 7th 8th grade and then you find out they like a band you don't like and then they're done done yeah done Absolutely. Like I had a buddy who was a big Van Hanlon fan, and I was in for the ride. But after women and children first, we became enemies for a year.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Like, once I went in his house and I saw the poster on the wall with David Lee hanging. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was kind of... Inside the women first came with a poster. Yeah. And he was hanging in the corner. With no shirt on.
Starting point is 00:41:53 With no shirt on. If you were a man and you put that poster up, I wasn't coming to your house no more. You understand me? Yeah, that definitely was that. I'm a Jersey dude. You invite me into your house. I look at two things.
Starting point is 00:42:06 First off, I open up the refrigerator. If you got my Luke hot dogs in there, I'm done with you. You better have Sabretz or something from the local bakery. Some bread's those crunchy fucking hot dogs. With the string hanging out. Oh, with the little tail, with the mouse tail. And then, and then I went through your record collection. And if you had cheap trick or like Jethro Tullin there or something like that,
Starting point is 00:42:29 we were going to have a problem. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know exactly with a band. But you're like, if you adjourned. in there was yeah you gotta get yeah we're done i can't date you no more like i can't date you no more like the stones were okay but you couldn't you couldn't have journey pat benatar was okay you could no i had pat but i had to hide him well yeah that was the first time i heard crimes of passion i got
Starting point is 00:42:49 i got to buy that yeah yeah that's probably something you would have that hide but yeah you couldn't really have that around your friends but yeah if you had journey in there and then can't well no kansas was okay i had a buddy who called a beat for putting My Sharona on. Like, he caught a fucking ferocious beating on a party. From a friend of mine named John Crowley, because Crowley was tripping on acid and wanted to put on dark side of the moon
Starting point is 00:43:14 because he would do the whole chandelier bit in the beginning. And this kid's like, nah, we're putting on my Sharona. Crack! He just held off and fucking punched him. You know, I had friends that would go into your house at parties and just, like, have you had Springsteen on? They would just come in, take the fucking thing off and throw the Springsteen out of up in the air.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Like, I grew up at that. part of New Jersey. There was no Springsteen. I had a friend that our friends went since first grade and he was a big metal head and we go a little shows and all of a sudden he started dating this girl and he went to a Springsteen show. I didn't talk to him for two years. Yeah, that's it. Seriously, I didn't talk to him for two years. I can call him right now and he'll verify it. He's like you still, you're you motherfucker. I don't care. You went to see Springsteen. You can't do that. You can't do that. It was unacceptable. You just went to
Starting point is 00:43:57 Sabbath last week. You can't go see Springsteen. And this is when like that 1984, whatever, born in the USA came out with like, you know, glory days and fucking dancing in the dark, which, you know, horrific song. Done. Done. Like, we didn't talk to. You weren't even allowed to play that
Starting point is 00:44:13 enough. No. There was one guy who liked Springsteen that was the bartender, John Kelly, the frog. Because he had a little ball under his neck as a kid. And he bartended on Sunday nights. I told you. Every time you turned around. Like, he would have to bartend and have his eye on everybody like he would take out what can I get you two
Starting point is 00:44:32 hirnicans all right he would be looking around because every time you know I order like a cocktail if he turned we throw ice cubes on like if he put springsteen on the jukebox I got it like that was the year when uh fucking motley crew released uh looks to kill yeah that's the devil this bar where I hung out at was the loudest record player and he was proud of it corky you when you the call the thing, and corkeys, the loudest record playing in the Tri-State area. I mean, you couldn't even talk in there. And looks and kill would go on, and we would
Starting point is 00:45:05 lose it. And if any other song would come on, like, The Dangerous Life was Big with Sheila E. Yeah. She must be, that one we could live with. Yeah. But as soon as Glory Days came on, born to run, or something, we would start throwing ice cubes at John Kelly because we knew he's the one that put that
Starting point is 00:45:21 fucking music on. The only Springsteen song I liked, I never told nobody. It was like a secret I Like if I suck the dick at Catholic school, it's the same type of secret. It's a big answer. You can lead cracking funny. So how do you like to fuck? Anyway.
Starting point is 00:45:41 I didn't tell nobody. I like 10th Avenue freezer. That wasn't a bad song. I loved it. I loved it, but I didn't tell nobody. No, you could. I was doing construction at the time. If I was on a roof, putting the roof up, and Springsteen came on, the radio was on, I would jump off the roof.
Starting point is 00:45:55 I wouldn't even use the ladder to get the fucking. I can shut it off. Who can get to the radio to quickest to get that off? You have that shit off. Oh, my God. You have no fucking idea. Can you guys talk about the jukebox? Because now it's kind of like, I don't know, I don't know if I've ever put one
Starting point is 00:46:08 and maybe once or twice. Was it a big deal in the bars when you were going on? If you had old music at a juke box, like, we didn't go to your jukebox. Like, the mud, like, we tell you one time, listen, bro, you got to start getting some new music in there. Yeah, you can't have, you know, fucking Bill Haley in the comments. You can't have fucking that old shit, you know what I mean? It was good.
Starting point is 00:46:25 But you don't want to hear it in a bar. Oh, I remember one time my friend went off at a bar because they had Jimmy Buffet on. Yeah. Wasted away in Margarita, though. Take that shit off. That shit doesn't work in Jersey. Take that shit off. Take it off right now.
Starting point is 00:46:37 I'll bust that fucking thing one time. Oh, my God. How much money would you guys spend a night? Eight, nine, ten dollars in quarters. Because for a quarter, you got three songs. Oh, shit. That's a lot of songs. So I would play, looks to kill, three songs.
Starting point is 00:46:50 A4, A4. A4. If I saw a pretty girl and she came over, here's a dollar. Go put on A4 ten times. A4, A4, A4, A4, looks to kill. And if you fucking slip the Springsteen song in there, we would fucking eyeball you to death. Disco, we listened to Disco before fucking Spring.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah, because the disco you knew, if you knew the songs, you can rap with chicks, you might have to dance, I'm in the club, and you're going to get laid knowing the disco stuff, so that was okay. If some guys in there, he's putting Springsteen and this goofy shit in the jukebox, we just load it up with like fucking $10 worth of metal.
Starting point is 00:47:23 So his songs would never even come up. We just keep fucking pounding away. like Joey said, three songs in a row. Looks to kill, looks to kill, just so you wouldn't hear his shit. And then did you see last week on Twitter? I was going back and forth with a girl named Judy Kelly. I don't think so. And I said, Judy, we were old.
Starting point is 00:47:39 We had some type of conversation. She goes, we've come a long way, and I go, we're really old. I just want to apologize for lightning bunny rabbit on fire. In the back of the car, she had a, not a bunny rabbit, a stuffed animal. Thank God. She used to date John Kelly, the frog. So they broke up because she cheated on them down the shore. So he gave her a bunch of stuffed animals, and she put it in the back seat because she was in love with him.
Starting point is 00:48:03 She got drunk one night and made a mistake. And, you know, John held it against her. He wouldn't talk to her. Right. So we're all out one night at the cuckoo's nest up in Nyack, New York, before the fuck. But before there was anything. There was only two things in Nyack. You went up to that club.
Starting point is 00:48:18 And when I used to bring the hot cars to Joe the Arab, he was the only Arab in the district. That's when being Arab was cool because he was only one Arab. If you knew an Arab, they were dynamite. You know, Jody Aram? Yeah, I know Jody Aram. He was all right. A bunch of Arabs come. Now, nobody likes him.
Starting point is 00:48:32 You know what I'm saying? But then, like, one, two, Arabs, everybody loved Jody Arab. And Joddy Arab loved everybody. You know, he'd hit you with my friend. Yeah, he knew all the slogans to fucking, to beeching. You didn't care because he was Jody Arab. You like doing business with Jody Arab. You don't take your cards to Nicky?
Starting point is 00:48:48 No more. Fuck, Nicky the chink. He don't pay me what he paid. What Jody Arab pays me. You know what I'm saying? He's tight. So. That's the only reason I would go to fucking Nyack.
Starting point is 00:48:59 So one now we're up there, Coke's up, and she's in the car doing Coke with us, and there's three guerrillas in the backseat, and there's a girl in the front seat, Lisa Tiz, and there's Judy Kelly. And we're back there talking, and Judy Kelly's, we get drunk, and she's, I'm thinking about John right now,
Starting point is 00:49:13 and she put on fucking Bruce. And I'll never forget. Me and my buddies looked at each other, and I took one of the stuffed teddy bears, and I just lit that motherfucker up in the car. And she's like, what are you doing? We're like, we don't fucking listen to Bruce. Get that shit off.
Starting point is 00:49:34 What would you do if, like, you were walking and you saw, like, three or four people in Bruce shirts? Like, there was a Bruce concert. Boom. Say shit. Fuck you. Dude, I got, I got a bumper stickers made up. There is no reason for Bruce Springsteen. And another one, the boss is a total loss.
Starting point is 00:49:51 And I got, like, a hundred of them. And I would walk around. I'd stick them all around the town. and if anyone had a Bruce Springsteen bumper sticker in a parking lot, I'd go, I'd cruise parking lots I'd put it over there fucking bumper sticker in a park a lot, I was out of my mind. I had bumper stickers, I had these stickers
Starting point is 00:50:05 that said on the seventh day, God created Black Sabbath. Yeah, get them at the Inglestown auction. The fucking funny raisers, I would buy them by the hundreds. And if I knew you didn't like Black Sabbath, I would put it on your fucking car. A week later, you'd be out there with a razor blade, you motherfucker. That's good you could buy them.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Like, a 10 cents a piece. She had stacks of them. It was Ted Nugent, the eight-day guy created a black Sabbath, Ted Nugent, ACDC, Judas Priest. Yeah, just thinking about people's cars. You took your fucking, we took my music so serious. Oh, yeah. Then there was a guy in my name who I still love,
Starting point is 00:50:45 Guy Tabasco, I still talk to him. And he had a brother Mike Tabasco, who actually thought he was Eddie Van Halen but didn't play the guitar. So we were torment them every day. What's going on at Eve, Van Halen? And every day, they used to be an artist. argument with the Tabasco's and somebody over Eddie Van Halen. We were just talking once Randy Rhodes came out, oh my God, we started tormenting
Starting point is 00:51:05 out of Van Halen fans. But the ones that suffered the most growing up, and I told this story of Dean Deloere were Beatle fans because I still remember taking a hit of acid going out and my friends were ho-hum, so I went home and my mother was dead. I'm sitting there with Mr. Bend, the tripping my balls off. And they just said John Lennon got shot in front of the Dakota. and I dog I went to school the next day now in my school they fucking hated Springsteen
Starting point is 00:51:32 but I tell you who else they hated it was the Beatles John Lennon wasn't dead 12 hours I still remember walking into my school and towards the back by the by the theater there was a mural of the Beatles somebody had already put an X through John Lennon and we were fucking howling like my school didn't hesitate one minute to let the beetle know
Starting point is 00:51:54 the beetle people know you you're fucking done. Because at that time, there were beetle people and Springsteen people. And they weren't the same. So you were always at war with Springsteen people and be,
Starting point is 00:52:05 fuck you with the fucking Beatles. You go to a party. Oh, let's put on the paperback writer. I want to get my dick sucked. I don't want to listen to paperback writer right now. Once we got hooked on, it was double live gonzo was the first one that hooked.
Starting point is 00:52:19 That was on for two or three years of the party. You could have whatever you want on in your party to we walked in, And then you better put double-life guns on that. There's going to be a fucking problem. Will you bring your own records to parties? No. We would just tell you, you don't have double-life guns?
Starting point is 00:52:32 Yeah, we got to go. Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll go get it. My sister's got it upstairs. Put it on. So it was double-life guns. And I'll tell you what group took over my town for like a six month. That first album was awesome.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Awesome album, A to Z, B-52s, the first album with Rock Lobster. Oh, yeah, Rock Lobster in Private Idaho. Like 80, 81, after Sabbath, like when we were waiting, we were in a limbo, waiting for Ozzy. Boom, B-52. You still love that album. I still play it. I still got one of my friends. 52 girls, rock lobster, Planet Claire, tough.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Yeah, I mean, you know, they lost it later with, you know, Love Shack and shit like that. But, no, that was another thing because you, you know, if you couldn't get girls that were in hard rock and metal, you would get like New Wave or disco. Because then you could talk to girls. You knew the songs. You'd have to go to the clubs. Maybe you went to like the New Wave Club or the disco club to go talk to. So you needed to know that music. You weren't getting laid listening to Bruce Springsteen.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Like you didn't have to. So that didn't affect us. But the B-52 is definitely because New Wave was starting to play in the clubs. And all the girls were going to those clubs. So we needed to go get pushed. Yeah, you go dance with them. I went to a whole new wave phase. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:45 It's like, you know, I was talking to girls about Judas Priest. And they were just fucking walking away from me. The cars. The cars was not going to. The cars. Women love cars. The world cars. But I'll tell you what, Van Halen, I saw Van Halen, and I got to tell you guys, that's a date and a place I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:54:04 It was after two, maybe. So, between 79 and 80, because Van Halen 2 came out in 79. After Sabbath, like, after Sabbath broke up. Right, that was 78 was the first one, the first Van Halen. 79 was Van Halen 2. Women and Children was 1980. So I saw them maybe before women and children. and there was a lot of hot fucking blondes there.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Ben Hanlon was the band that brought in the chicks. There was a lot hot chicks. Oh, yeah. But then something happened in 19, fucking 81. I started hanging at this bar when I was like 16 called Joan Marys. And there was one motherfucker that you couldn't talk shit about or you were going to get into a fistfight at all those bars because there were old-timers.
Starting point is 00:54:44 And those bars, they have a thing called white trash people that are very nice. They're just white trash people. In those days, before you got there, you have your metal and shit, they had a guy by the name of Kenny Rogers on there. And you couldn't touch Kenny Rogers music. Kenny Rogers is for people.
Starting point is 00:55:00 When you were 18, if you were 30, you were listening to Kenny Rogers to get your dick suck. Kenny Rogers put out two or three songs that are dick suck in music. So one day, believe it or not, some guy came up to me that was a little older. He goes, do you want to go see a Kenny Rogers concert? At that time, I was a young Jim Florentine. I went to see anything.
Starting point is 00:55:22 I seen Hugh Lewis in the news. Yeah. There was a time I went to see anything just for the art of the live, like the pretenders when she broke her leg in Coney Island, then she did the garden the next night. She threw the crutches into the audience. I went to see the new barbarians with the stones. I went to see James Brown at the balladium.
Starting point is 00:55:41 I went to see you two at the bar. I went to just people that I didn't know. It became so open for me. What the fuck was I going to say? What the fuck are we talking about? girls barge oh man i went to a kenny rogers concert oh right with a guy yeah that was the capital of women
Starting point is 00:55:56 passing out sucking dick while they were passed out Kenny rogers wasn't even giving out cosby pills and bitches were passing out sucking his dick really Doug when he sings lady i'm your night and shining armor and i love you he had like two songs two or three songs that you look around and women will fucking cry it crying like fucking crying like ready to suck dick like give me give it
Starting point is 00:56:21 to me give it to me give me that fucking cock juice it was crazy I left there going oh my god I just learned about women like I always and I honest to God I never want to do a content
Starting point is 00:56:37 to pick up a chick I don't think I have picked up a chick Well because most of the shows that we went to There was not hardly any girls but then when you started going to more shows like that There were I I get into the police. The police would draw a lot of chicks.
Starting point is 00:56:51 That synchronicity tour. All the women were into it. It was a big hit on MTV. I got jerked off on like the 20-yard line at JFK Stadium in Philly during a police show by some girl I don't even know. Watching the show. It was in the middle of the day.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I don't know why the police were on during the day. I remember it being light. And she was just jerking me and we were both just watching the show looking straight ahead. And I came on the 21-yard line. Did you come on the floor? I think it was,
Starting point is 00:57:17 Synchronicity too. No, right around on the floor. You're just on the floor. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I put it right back in the pocket and I swallowed by the mushroom juice. You get home, there's a mushroom between your legs and you got a rash and shit. But that's how it was. I just met some girl there at the show, and then we started making out of where we're watching a show and she just jerked me off watching a band. It was great.
Starting point is 00:57:41 And then I said, I'll go get your beer and I never came back. That's yeah, that's what you're talking. I'm going to be on a beer. I'll be a little bit. I'll be right back. You don't have to come. Just stay here. Once they suck your dick,
Starting point is 00:57:50 let's sit. The relationship's over. Yeah, what am I going to do? You know, what are we going to do now? And they'll see you on the way out. What happened to you? You're not going to believe it. Yeah, if I see you're in a park, I go, let's go get a Philly Pretel.
Starting point is 00:57:59 I think I know the answer for Joey, and I don't even know if they had them back then. But did you guys go to, like, any of these big festivals, like camping festivals for any of these concerts or no? No, I went to the Woodstock, Woodstock, 94. They actually had like a, they had a comedy, there. Oh, you performed. Yeah. It was all disorganized. So like nobody even showed up. But but but I did go there. They had a bunch of comedians like 20 of us from New York went up for that. We stayed like the artist tent. It was great they had a co-ed bad co-ed shower. So these you know guys and girls go in the shower like the artist. So me and the other comics were
Starting point is 00:58:38 just waiting outside the shower just fucking waiting for women to walk in and then we just going there. We took like six showers in one day. Who performed in Woodstock? Me, Bob Levy, Don Jameson, Red Johnny the Round Guy. I don't know if you guys remember those guys from New York. Danny Vermont, who is Danny DeVito? Danny Vermont still writes for politically incorrect?
Starting point is 00:59:03 Love Danny. I just bumped into him. Great dude. Danny's been around a long. Rich Voss went with us. Eric McMahon. You know, Jersey, New York comics. Most of the guys that out of the comic strip.
Starting point is 00:59:14 But there was like 20 of us. bus up there hung out for three days now what happens at the gym door was there too you guys even go to the commerce trip i walked in there for first time in like 10 years uh about a month ago it's just i don't know it's just got a weird vibe to it i don't do any sets there where do you do all your sets when you're the stand okay but the stand is moving yeah it's closed for the summer so i went back to the comedy cellar and the village on the ground i've been doing sets there um usually i just stay at the stand i just love that club you got it down to a sign after I spoke to you last week.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Yeah. You go out every two weeks. Two weeks. And you have your child. You boy or your son. And then there's one week that you just do spots in the city. Yeah, I got my son one weekend a month. I got him early in a week.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I got them 50% of the time. But I got him one weekend. I got them for a full weekend. So I take that weekend off. I spend it with him. I got one weekend. I do sets in New York City. And then two weekends, I'm on the road.
Starting point is 01:00:10 So I'm out like eight days out of the month. I'm home for 22. It works out perfectly. How did you learn this balance? as you get older you just like I don't like being out that long even when I was you know 15 20 years ago doing stand-up I didn't like being out that long I need to get back home
Starting point is 01:00:25 and just recharge and get away from it all you know so and now as you get older you're just like no I can make my own schedule I could do whatever the fuck I want this is before your son and even yeah before my son but yeah and then you know I went on tour with those bands I've got you know I was out for like a month at a time I hated it 30 days on the road I don't know how these bands do it 45 days
Starting point is 01:00:44 and shit being on a bus so I was like no man that's not that's not for me so I just you know two weekends that's enough I don't want to get burnt out I don't want to get burnt out of my material I don't want to be doing you know just feel like I'm mailing an end so I recharge your batteries just fucking hang on my son play you know do anything but comedy don't think anything but comedy I hang out my my neighbors that live in the suburbs and we just talk fucking you know schools and just get away from it all and then when I'm ready to get back up there I'm recharged yeah I uh I had to cut it down in two weeks a month I had the perfect balance right now.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Because first I was telling him two weeks a month. But this motherfucker would do two back to back, have a week off, and then two back to back. So I was really doing five, four out of five. Right. That's still murder. That's still murder. So I had to look and see what worked for me. And now, yeah, I love to go out every fucking weekend.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Yeah, you do like Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I love it. But I can't. I can't. I can't. But you do it two weekends a month on the road. a month. And my body, it takes four days. Like, today I feel great. Like, today I feel great. For two days, my sleep was off. I still worked out. I still did what I had to do. But today was fucking great. Today
Starting point is 01:01:56 I'm tip-top my goo. Now I got another week. Then I go to Alabama next Thursday. Then I go to Nashville Friday and Saturday. I'm home two weeks. Yep. You know, I like that. And people, agents get mad at you or whatever. You know what, man, I got a family. And I'm a different animal now. I wish this would have happened at 32. You wouldn't see me. If this happened at 32, you would see me. I'm on a plane on Tuesday, picking up a one night of Wednesday, Thursday. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Getting in town a day before, why not? Yeah, get a good steak, go around the town, go to a record store. You got to, you do Kansas City at all. I haven't done it in a while. Book yourself in Kansas City. No, I love Kansas City. Because they have, well, Dean Doeray went to this fucking vintage t-shirt store. In Kansas City, they got, you're going to drop a grand.
Starting point is 01:02:45 You're going to drop a gram. Oh, it's the ones where they cost like $150. They did a real shirt. The real shirts. Okay. The real shirts. I mean, he was sending me pictures. They had the shirt I bought the opening night of Pink Floyd, the baseball shirt, because the baseball shirts got popular for a football.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Oh, yeah, you had a baseball jersey. I had a red and white pink Floyd one that a friend of mine still had about 10 years ago. And they had shrunk. It was like a baby shirt. Yeah, you can't believe I could bring them. Yeah. No. And it was still an XL or an L.
Starting point is 01:03:14 It was like a hell. But the fucking cotton had shrunk over the years. The moth had eaten away at it. I had Ted Nugent Weekend Warriors in a baseball jersey. Did you? Yeah, I remember. And then after a while, like, you know, 10 years after that, you can't fit in them.
Starting point is 01:03:27 So I wound up chucking them one time. I never should have done that. No. Tons of them. Blizzard of Oz with the crosses on the back of the shirt, with the tour dates and all the different markets and shit. Yeah, all that's time. I had a friend that used to make T-shirts.
Starting point is 01:03:40 He worked on a sporting goods called Leavis. and that's what he did he really was a stock boy but he would fucking get high and make his shirts and we'd all wear the same shirts to a concert like fucking fags and I still remember
Starting point is 01:03:56 for Ozzy I wore suicide solution with two lines of coke on it I mean people must have thought me and my friends were fucking retarded like thank God my mother was dead not this because on paper they look like two joints Right.
Starting point is 01:04:13 But there are really two lines of Coke. Like he forgot to put the straw next to it. But it was like, we had a shirt that said instead of, the front said Judas Priest, but the back would say Jesus Christ, which meant Judas Priest. Right, yeah, yeah. Fucking, he used to make all these shirts and people come up to us and go, where did you get them?
Starting point is 01:04:31 I wish I saved those shirts today. Because nobody had them. Nobody. Nobody. He'd do this weird stuff where he cut a picture out of Tony Iommi, do this, do that. This is before computers, Lee. This is my copy of machine and fucking hand.
Starting point is 01:04:47 And it was like, I mean, Tony Aombe looked like Fidel. We used to goof on him and go, who's that? Fidel or Black Sabbath, and we would laugh. But it didn't matter. And he would make 10 shirts for every show for us. I still remember he made him for yes. Remember yes? He used to come to the garden every year.
Starting point is 01:05:03 We were kids and do like 10 fucking nights. I was never a big yes fan. It was too cerebral for me. I like some of us, a couple of us. a couple of songs, but I wasn't... Roundabout, yeah, yeah, all that shit, you know. Then they got more commercial, the honor of a lonely heart and all that stuff later.
Starting point is 01:05:18 I'll never forget that I was going to see them for a while. Like, I remember going in the eighth grade, going to see them and being pissed because I had a miss Roots. Roots was on the same week as, and I had seen like two nights of Roots, and I was hooked. I wanted to see what happened when they got to America. But Yes, played.
Starting point is 01:05:37 But Yes, played like six nights at the garden. And the first couple of years, I went to see, yes, it was always bad. And then the last two or three years, people were giving your seats. Like, yes was coming too much. Yeah. People were coming every year, September 14th. They came every year the week that school started. That's what I remember about yes right now.
Starting point is 01:06:00 They always came to the garden in September, the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth, five fucking nights. Did you go see Judas Priest on the British Steel Tour, the five nights in the first? real at the palladium no i i think i was living in florida at the time so it's 1980 yeah so i saw him at the meadowlands with iron maiden maybe i guess it was maybe screaming prevention for benance tour that's the first time you saw him earlier with maiden with paul diana at that show right i was the palladium yeah no uh convention hall and asbury okay now you didn't see the one at the paladium with that i don't think so i maybe i might have i saw killers at the paladium but i don't know if it was
Starting point is 01:06:40 was if they were opening up for that's why I asked you when you said ACDC August 4th August 1st 1980 I wasn't sure because it was AZ D.C but I wasn't sure if it was death leopard touring high and dry. No it was definitely death leopard because I moved like the Florida like August 28th 1980 so I was still around in the area to see those shows before I moved I see Black Sabbath with Dio it's their third third show ever right I don't like that Dio took over Ozzie's place. I was an Ozzy guy. So I was like, I was mad.
Starting point is 01:07:16 But heaven and hell comes out and it's a great record. So I'm like, you know what? I got to give it to him. I was rooting for it to fail. I was just, and I was totally, fuck, Ronnie James Dio, Ozzy. I remember Miami Arena, me and my brother go.
Starting point is 01:07:30 And before the show, we stop off at like some party store and we get a tablecloth, a white tablecloth, and we get a black magic marker, and we make up our own sign. And we write, Ozzy is God, Dio must pray to him for forgiveness.
Starting point is 01:07:45 We sneak it in the Miami Arena. It was like General Mission. It was only like 3,000 people there. Sabbath was kind of on the decline then. You know, and they're just starting to make a comeback. And we get like in the second row and Dio comes out and they open up with war pigs. And I'm mad.
Starting point is 01:07:58 I still think Ozzy's going to come out. I still think Ozzy's going to come out for some reason. I'm like, because there was no internet back then, so you didn't know. I knew he was out of the band. I'm like, you never know. Maybe Ozie will come out. And all three of them come out,
Starting point is 01:08:10 Bill Ward all those guys and then all of a sudden Dio comes out A little short guy. Little short guy. So we're holding the batter up. And doing all this shit and going generals gathered in their messes. Yeah and he was fucking up the song. So Ozzy had the P signs. That was cool. Dio had the metal, the horns.
Starting point is 01:08:24 The Malook. They're good now. But at that time it was like, come on, man. It's a derivation of whatever it is of Ozzy, the P signs. The P signs were cool. So we're holding the sign up, right? And Dio come over and he looked at it. He's giving us the fingers like, like, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:08:39 at the sign me and rebella holding it up and he's going to pretend like he's jerking off fuck you guys by the second song two big black security guys go come here and take us fucking bring us in the back they bring my brother in a room i'm like what's 15 at the time 16 they bring them in a back room like these three big guys and and they lock the door and i'm crying i'm like leave my brother alone because they're holding me back they wouldn't let me in there five minutes later they bring him out bring me they bring us to a side door they throw us out in the fucking park a lot like garbage. We got kicked out of the show because
Starting point is 01:09:12 fucking Dio was complaining over to over the sign. Now I never told him. See, now I'm friends with Dio because I know Rudy. Rudy introduces him me and then he's on that metal show. I'm like, I can't tell him that story because about a year before he died. This is 25 years later. He does
Starting point is 01:09:28 an article in a magazine. They go, did you get any backlash from when you replaced Oz? He goes, no, the fans are pretty cool. He goes, I can remember one time. It was early on the tour. There was a, there was a sign this banner was really bugging me something about like Ozzy is god and i got to pray to him for something i can it just really was getting under my skin i fucking it drove me crazy goes so there was sometimes with that and i'm like holy shit that was the fuck of my banner mine or my brother's
Starting point is 01:09:54 banner but i can never tell deal because i've now become you know kind of friendly with him i can't go hey i was that fucking asshole at 16 that angry kid that was mad that you were in the band and not Ozzy everybody was that this was a very weird feeling for people because it was almost it was for the black Sabbath and Ozzie and Dia it was almost like Trump Hillary you were on one side of the other and that was it and you'd fucking fight somebody
Starting point is 01:10:20 like I still remember doing acid and stopping at a magazine store and there was an article in there about Sabbath that just drew me over the loop like I had nothing I had no parents at the time and my whole life was listening to Black Sabbath Black Sabbath was keeping the glue together. As scary as this sound.
Starting point is 01:10:42 It was all Sabbath, bloody Sabbath. Nobody will ever tell you the reasons why. Right. That's it. That's it. I bought it. I'm not going to lie to anybody and tell you. That was my glue.
Starting point is 01:10:53 That was my therapist. That whole album, National Acrobat, and that were keeping me together. And all of a sudden, when I saw Black Sabbath, the first time, they were terrible. Ozzy was terrible, so I didn't know what to think I left there, like I lost face. That was never say die to die.
Starting point is 01:11:12 That's like wearing a jersey to watch your team, and he sucks. And you've got to walk home with that fucking jersey on in front of everybody. And everybody on the bus was talking about that guitar play in the first band. And you're like, God damn it. And then he disappeared for a while. Nobody knew what was happening. Ozzy got thrown out of the band. Nobody knew.
Starting point is 01:11:34 And then we found out they had a sceptive. which I always play that was horrible. The first singer after Ozzy. Oh yeah, Dave Walker. Oh, just god awful. Yeah, he was... God awful. It sounded like diarrhea. Yeah. And then they said something about Dio
Starting point is 01:11:50 from whatever, and I remember buying Rainbow Rising and listening to him going, I don't think this is going to work. Like, this ain't going to work. This is not going to work. This Dio Ozzie collaboration, this Dio Sabs collaboration, it's not going to fucking work. And then the album came out and it was it's like it's like eating asshole it's not kosher but you do it anyway
Starting point is 01:12:19 you know what I'm saying right if a chick told you eat my asshole I'll suck your dick you tell him bend over I'll eat that fucking thing without even if I find the peanut whatever I find I'm in it's it's it's it's something that you wanted to hate like I wanted to hate having it and how absolutely all my heart but it just every time you listen to it today I went to crowd therapy when I came in I went to freeze and today the guy goes What do you want to hear? I go heaven and hell
Starting point is 01:12:47 And he goes you haven't played that in a while Because I got into one of the Madonna kicked Right So I go in there throw punches Because at least a Madonna you could dance around But heaven and hell Just having a hell I go in there throw kicks, twists
Starting point is 01:12:57 I'm doing black flips in the fucking air Yeah I love that hole Now today When I left Dio I was pissed That drive from Philly Back to North Bergen It was a fucking long drive We were like the my futures of their fans.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Yeah, because he wasn't singing the songs right. No. He wasn't. And we're mad. Like, come on, singing like Ozzy, if you're going to do it. But he was coming.
Starting point is 01:13:19 He couldn't. He was trying to do his interpretation. I'll never forget that when he came out. He's like, generals gathered in their masses. Yeah. Just like witches at black masses. And we're like, oh, no.
Starting point is 01:13:31 How does Ozzie do it? You know, like fucking a savage. Like John Osborne would do it, yelling and screaming and fucking clapping and shit hanging off of him and you know come on let's go your fucking measly bastards put your hands together yeah are you high he saw my smoke those joints oh yeah yeah he was
Starting point is 01:13:48 yelling and shit getting you going and it was you know I still remember having live at last remember when you bought the bootleg live at last they had that we talk about it all the time east west and uh and uh by the way by the fucking way this happened just so you know I saw an ad for you
Starting point is 01:14:09 coming to San Diego or whatever the fuck on Twitter last Saturday. It was a general thing on somebody else's feed or your feed. Right. And when I went, I go, that's interesting. Jim's coming to town. And when I flipped over to my feed, guess what was in the picture? A picture of the building across the street from Hudson County Park. The tall building with the grinder where they saw the Martians from.
Starting point is 01:14:33 Oh, yeah, yeah. And they go, show Jimmy Florentine this picture. And I go, let me call this motherfucker. He's coming on the podcast this week. That's what happened. That was Saturday. Saturday or Friday. I was on the row last week.
Starting point is 01:14:45 Yeah. That's how weird it was. That one minute you were saying you were doing a show, and on my other thread, it was a guy that stopped at the light and took a picture of that building. Wow. And said the ghost building,
Starting point is 01:14:56 where you and Jimmy Florentine talked about over here. No, that Black Sabbath thing was something that today, if we ever go to therapy, it'll come up. Like, eventually after a year, they'll say, so what happened early? the young youth. Well, I caught my mother sucking a dick, but when Ozzy left Sabbath, it was just
Starting point is 01:15:14 traumatizing. It was devastating. I'm devastated. When Die of a Mad Man, the record came out, I'd have to listen to that song. Die of a Man Man, man, before I go to school in 11th grade. I hated it. I was a bad place in my life. We just moved. I had no friends. I was in a private Catholic school
Starting point is 01:15:30 in Florida. Didn't know anyone. All the kids were rich. I had long hair. That drive around a Mercedes. I had a shitty beat up Volkswagen with Black Sabbath bumper stickers. and Judas Priest and no friends and I would listen to that song every day to get me through it
Starting point is 01:15:44 before I went to school. That fucking song is unbelievable. The song guy of a man, man, it's fucking, oh. The guitar on that when he picks up the second verse on it, like it opens up slowly with like piano or something,
Starting point is 01:15:58 a harp, and then he comes down, down, down, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Now, here's the weird thing about that. I guess his mother taught in Burbank. Yeah. His mother taught guitar in Beirbank to just recently, maybe 10 years ago, I don't know, somebody.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Who came in here and was talking about guitar lessons? Quinn, Ed Quinn, because Ed Quinn studied with Joe Satriani. So he said, yeah, Randy Rose was right down the corner of him. Can you imagine that kid? And he taught guitar lessons. And then he joined Cryer, and I saw the album yesterday. I almost got it. Which happened here.
Starting point is 01:16:37 The mental health. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. He's gone by that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was. But I wanted to buy the album. What's the one he's on? He's on, what, the one before would slick black Cadillac. Slick Black Cadillac.
Starting point is 01:16:50 Yeah, I forget what it was. It was not a big one. No, it wasn't. They weren't. It was big in Japan. It was so crazy that the one I have is one of the number one selling albums of all time. That was the first heavy metal record to hit the number one in the Billboard charts. is choir,
Starting point is 01:17:07 Ryan, metal. Right, that's what it is. Yeah, first album ever, heavy metal. And I gotta tell you something between you and I
Starting point is 01:17:13 and I, it drives me crazy sometimes. Whatever I hear, it out of each song, bang, yo, hey, metal, it drives me crazy.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Like, I'm like, why am I listening to this? This is too much for me. So you guys are, to me, like, I think there's a difference
Starting point is 01:17:26 between, like, I don't think you guys are fans. You sound like experts almost to me. Or you, it sounds like you were more than fans. Well,
Starting point is 01:17:33 you had to know your stuff. Like, you were going to go and you had to challenge somebody, you better know. You better be able to back it up. You better fucking know. Yeah. Like, if you're going to get into arguments, like, I,
Starting point is 01:17:44 there's a bunch of shows I went to see. Like, I get, people still bust my balls. Like, you were wrong on that date, but you were close. You know, at least I'm in the neighborhood. I still remember going, what was the place? I saw missing persons there. Oh, I love that band. I saw them there in 81, maybe, 82.
Starting point is 01:18:05 283, whatever the big album was popular. What was the big album? Was walking in L.A.? Spring session M. Spring session M. Spring session M. I saw a noticeable one. Oh, my God. That opens up the fucking one.
Starting point is 01:18:19 That opens it up. And I've had Raydonon, on, on on down. And I've had Raydon who's Terry son. Oh, yeah. The drummer's son. He also plays the drums. Great kid. He's on Facebook. We talked from time to time. But guess who I went to see there one night on an invite?
Starting point is 01:18:34 And I'm embarrassed. you know what I'm really embarrassed about two things I'll let you go I know you gotta get them to say they go one I didn't really like let me when they opened for uh for azy blizzard really I'm like what is this what is this fucking junk this is junk this is junk well because it was super I didn't understand super loud right and just fucking a hundred miles an hour and you're like what yeah I get I get see it now I like it now I'm there man man damn Now I like Lemmy and I understand what he stood for and the whole fucking deal. In fact, he does a show Eddie Trunk is doing on the residency at the rainbow.
Starting point is 01:19:19 At the rainbow. Yeah. I'm going to try to go up there and see him live when he comes back. I thought it was every Friday in fucking August. I was misinformed. I was going to try to go tonight. Okay. Yeah, no, I think he does it once a month.
Starting point is 01:19:31 Yeah, I was going to take my wife and watch Eddie Trun. She's like, what are you doing? What are you talking about, Eddie Trunk? I'm not going to see any. drunk. I'm like, nobody else likes that he's drunk. I'm going to go watch them live and ask him some creepy fucking questions. Where are you? So tonight, you're in San Diego. Tonight, San Diego.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Then I got Atlantic City, the new Hard Rock Casino open in Atlantic City. How is it? I haven't been there yet, but I'm doing three nights there. Howie Mandel, I guess, owns the club. It's the Howie Mandel Comedy Club. So August 28th through the 30th, me and Don Jameson are there. And then I'm doing the Funny Bone in
Starting point is 01:20:03 Albany, September 13th through 15th. How's my man, Don doing? He's doing great. He's on tour with Faster Pussycat. Jesus Christ. He's up for three months on the tour bus. He does 20 minutes of stand up and he brings up the band. He's such a fucking He's an animal. He's a sad. He's on
Starting point is 01:20:19 the tour bus with those guys. They fucking just rage and drink like they're 20 years old. He's on it for three months. And he plays these rock clubs wherever they are to get like eight, you know, anywhere between like 300 to a thousand a night and he does, you know, in the crowd and he does 20 minutes of stand up in front of those animals.
Starting point is 01:20:36 And then he brings on the band. I just want to tell you, the only guys I listen to my serious, I listen to lithium, you, Jim, and what's his name? And I love your shows. I love when you tell stories. The one that you got me was with the cherry bomb and I sat there. I guess because I didn't hear from me for years and you got a message to me. He goes, dude, I was at that show. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:20:59 I cried. My wife got in the car. I said, what are you crying about now? Because I always cried. I'm like, I'm crying because, fucking people can validate my fucking. stories. I remember that fucking cherry bomb. I also remember when the good rats opened up for
Starting point is 01:21:13 Aerosmith at the garden and somebody threw a cherry bomb. I had Joe Perry and he fucking got off stage. I remember a lot of shit. The number last thing I want to ask you is how much do people talk you about that metal show? Oh, it's Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:21:30 It's insane. People really, and I miss it kind of a way. Because I'd watch it. If I wasn't doing it, it was a great guest, I'd watch it. Yeah, well, you know, look, we were on, we did 140 episodes who were on for eight, seven, eight years. You know, TV, TV time, that's amazing to be on that long. And eventually, you know, a show runs its course. But meanwhile, you know, it was Viacom, the company that was a VH1 classical and it would just shit the bed, you know,
Starting point is 01:21:54 so I had to come in and make some major cuts. And pretty much most of the original programming got cut, including our show. I wanted to show goodbye. We got to, you know, we're losing a fucking ton of money in this company. That owns MTV, all that other shit. So it was more of a corporate decision But people still come up Look, me, Don and Eddie
Starting point is 01:22:11 Were the three hosts of the show A heavy metal talk show We have no say in the matter Like where it goes You can't just go up to an actor You know, do you think people go up to Jennifer Anderson Like you should get friends on Netflix You know, where they're going up to Galafini
Starting point is 01:22:24 After Sopranos go, you ever try Showtime? How about Hulu? Yeah, what about Hulu? Just a new, you know, why don't you guys put it on YouTube? Do Sopranos for YouTube? You know what I mean? Like you have this, there's so many other people
Starting point is 01:22:34 that control that. Like we don't own. the show. We just can't go, hey, my friend works at HBO, he wants to show. You know, so there's all as, you know, red tape. Once in a while, shows do come back. Absolutely. I mean, it's a niche audience. You know, we're interviewing Leader Ford.
Starting point is 01:22:48 You know, we're not going to go on after UFC fighting on, you know, on Spike or something like that, or USA Network. Because it's a whole different audience. So if we find a channel, I don't know, at some point, but who knows, I mean, someone who have to acquire a rights from VH1, who owns the show, and have to pay them
Starting point is 01:23:04 for VH1 to give them the rights, and then they could put it on their network. Remember Howard Stern did those old Channel 9 shows back in the day? They were fucking classic. They were incredible. Channel 9 owns those shows. They never gave them back to Howard Stern wanted to buy them to put them out on DVD. They would never let them.
Starting point is 01:23:21 They go, nope. He probably offered them millions of dollars in Channel 9 just said, nope, fuck you. You're not getting them. And he can never release them because they own them. So VH1 basically owns the show Viacom. So at some point some network is interested, they're going to have to go to them and go, hey, here's $250,000. We have the show and all the back catalog.
Starting point is 01:23:39 That's how it would work if it ever came back. Look, we'd love it, but, you know, at this point, there's nothing you could do. I'm not going to. Who was the coolest guy you meant on this show? I mean, we had Iommi on. Everybody. Everybody. Fucking Bill Ward.
Starting point is 01:23:53 Steve Harris from Iron Maiden. We had Angus and Brian, we had Angus and Brian Johnson on when the Black Ice album came out, like in 2008, our first season. We interviewed those guys. I mean, that's, insane. Insane.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Who was playing the guitar in the back? We had different guys. Well, Ted Nugent on. I always say, he was probably my favorite guest because I never met him in 76 with the, you know, what was the concert that shit? When he's outside, the California Jam. The California Jam. Yeah, he's out there with the fucking rabbit tail and he's got no shirt on and his fucking hairs all over the place. And he's singing Cat Scratch Fever and Motor City Man House.
Starting point is 01:24:33 I was a dick. at 12 years old. I'm like this is fucking holy shit. So I and then he comes on that metal show when he was, you know, no, didn't talk politics or any guns or any of shit. Just a funny dude talking about music and then went up there and jammed for like the last 10 minutes of the show. Just fucking took his guitar and just jammed. It was funny because VH1 that we weren't allowed to play any original music because then they have to pay rights for it. They have to pay royalties on. They're too cheap. They didn't want to pay any. So if anyone that came out, we couldn't play any of their songs. Any of the guitar players couldn't play any of their licks to their songs.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Because then they would have to pay a royalty to that band. They go, we're not doing that. Ted comes on. He goes, look, I want to play my songs. And they go, you can't. He goes, I own all my music. They go, you still can. He goes, no, I own it.
Starting point is 01:25:16 I say it's okay. You can play. And they go, no, we go, look, I'll sign it. Give me a fucking piece of paper. I want to play some of my riffs. And they still wouldn't let him do it. But anyway, we went up there and jam for a fucking 20 minutes. And I'm watching Nugent just, you know, 10 feet away.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Just rip it on that guitar. It's phenomenal. And then Kirk Hammett came on with Michael Shanker. Oh, I knew Michael Shanker had been on that. Michael Shanker, Kirk Hammer from Metallica is a huge Michael Shanker fan. So we're going to have Michael Shanker on. He's going to play guitar. So Eddie calls up Kirk Hammett, Eddie Schron, because he knows Kirk.
Starting point is 01:25:49 He'll say, Kirk, I'm going to have Michael Shanker. Come on. If you guys want to jam together, Kirk's like, what? I could jam with Michael Shanker. He's like, yeah. So Kirk goes, I'll come there for free, whatever. And he flew to New York and they fucking jammed. I saw the video.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Yeah. You told me about the video. Yeah, so because he was such a big Michael Shanker fan. He was geeking out and we had them together and they both played. They worked something out before the show and just fucking and played on the show. So that was amazing too. Bro, always a pleasure to have you. Absolutely, dude.
Starting point is 01:26:17 You're one of my favorites, man, without a doubt. The music. The legend. Just taking me back and you're always welcome. You know how many people come out to me on my comedy shows go, dude, I heard you on Joey's podcast. You're fucking great. Yeah, we had a good show. You two guys.
Starting point is 01:26:29 It's fucking, I don't, I, you know, you tell these stories like there's no. way it's true. He goes, but we know they are when you first hear him. Like, there's no way that happened. This is it. This is why when I heard the cherry bomb, I'm like, nobody else remembers this shit. I'm going to be in Huntsville at Levitney Live next Thursday night. And then Friday and Saturday, I am in the motherfucking Nashville at Zanis. Where are you at, brother? Yeah, I got Atlantic City next week. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:55 August 28th. That's a hard rock. Yeah, yeah. I got Albany. I got Cuyahoga Falls in Ohio. I got some Florida dates. I'm doing Miami, Boka. Jim Florentine.com. My book, Everybody is All for Except You, is in stores, and it's on Amazon. I love you guys. Have a great weekend.
Starting point is 01:27:11 Stay black. And don't forget, if you need some supplements, always go to onit.com from AlphaBrain, ShroomTech, Shroom TechSport, Shroom Tech immune. Listen, I got you covered. I fly every two weeks. You don't see me fucking coughing. Number one, I eat ass. Number two, I slamming the Hudson. And number three, I eat Shroom Tech immune.
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Starting point is 01:28:03 now and press in church bang and get 10% off delivered to your crib we'll see you motherfuckers next week have a great weekend jim florentine thank you again for coming on jimflorentine dot com yeah and then uh my podcast comedy mental midges out every week too yeah no thanks man and i'm a big fan of what he does love you jim thank you very much flying jew don't kill no fucking christians this week stay black kick this fucking meal league perfect oh

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