The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #617 - Peter Segal

Episode Date: September 13, 2018

Peter Segal, film and television director who has directed (among many other titles) "The Longest Yard," "Tommy Boy," and several episodes of "Shameless," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.    This podcast is brought to you by:   23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church    MyBookie.com -  Use promo codeChurch to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.   Recorded live on 09/12/2018.


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Friday night. I don't know why I told you that, but it's a church of what's happening now, you know what I'm saying? And that's all that matters. For you, Zeppelin Doubters, this is like the fifth, the sixth album. Listen to this shit. You might as well steal

one of your grandma's chemo tablets. We're going deep today, cock suckers. My main man, Peter Siegel, the Christ-killer, Leesai. And your Uncle Joey, here we go. Now listen. Oh, shit. It's as good as it gets, Uncle Pete.

What do you think? Love it. Love it. Grew up on it? Yep. Really? Son's playing it now. He's an old soul.

Really? Yeah. Sun's in a band? No. He's studying music at the University of Michigan. Just dropped him off for a sophomore year. And he's, you know, a John Mayor wannabe, a Jimmy Page want to be. Really?

Yeah. Good for him. Yeah. So he's bringing this back. He knows the lyrics to these songs better than I do, songs that I grew up on. What does he think about today's music? Wow.

So what is he? 19. He says Rock is dying. Okay. You know, it's... No foolfighters, keeping him alive. No Greta Van. First of all, that shocked me.

I'm like, what do you mean? Rock is dying. He says, no, you got to listen. It's everything is like, you know, sampled and, you know, computerized and, you know, it's just different, you know? So I said, you know, you should play rock. And he knows, yeah, but it's kind of dated.

It's not at its height right now, which is shocking for me to hear because that's what I grew up on. But he's 19. He knows. I don't. I mean, it's, I love it. I love it, but it's getting old right now. Like that all we have on the radio, I mean, I listen to lithium. I got serious.

I listen to lithium. I listen to Lillium. I listen to Ozzy's bone. there's got to be something else I listen to, what, 60% of the music on there is Guns and Roses. That's all they play. They play a lot of Guns and Roses, those three or four albums and heavy rotation.

And, you know, I love the foo fighters. I love David Groh, whenever they come out with something. You know, I love that these older bands are touring because kids like your son are going to watch these guys, whether it's Roger Waters or, you know, I think next week is Judas Priest and Deep Purple at the L.A. County Fair. You know how many people have invited me to that next week?

And it sounds great. I mean, I listened to Eddie Trunk and he was talking about, oh, or Jim Florentine, he was talking about that they're going to do delivering the goods. They haven't done it in 40 years. Well, wait a second. They haven't played the song in 40 fucking years. They're going to pull it out this year.

just the thought that they're still deaf leopard sold out the garden wow how did that happen i don't know but so music is alive in a way oh yeah just it's just evolving as it always does it's just interesting where it's going what's up with you brother and is working working you just finished a movie with just finished a movie and starting a movie so i'm in like the the vortex of hell right now. So you're a month away from starting a new... Yeah, five weeks away. You're making me poop a little

because I should be home writing right now because we're still got to finish the script. Okay. You can do that with your eyes closed. You've done it before. And yeah, finishing one that opens Thanksgiving, Wednesday. That's the one with Jennifer.

That's the one with Jennifer Lopez. And was that a romantic comedy? It's a comedy. Okay. People are calling it a romantic comedy. There's some romantic comedy. in it because there's Milo Ventimilia who all the chicks adore. I mean, it's crazy, you know, how popular he is because of This Is Us.

But it's interesting. It's really not their story. I can't really say whose story it is because it kind of gives away a surprise. But if people want to think of it as a romantic comedy, think of it as a romantic comedy. It's kind of like, if it were to be like something, Working Girl. if you remember that movie. Right, right, right. Are you one of the to-go-guide directors now in Hollywood of comedy?

Do you have a lot of scripts coming your way for comedic features? I do. It's, you know, it's weird because not as many comedies are being made today as they're used to be. It's the big IP things. If it's, you know, a comic book or a Disney animated movie that they're turning into live action, or a book, those are the movies that studios want to roll the dice on. And the mid-range comedies, whether they're romantic comedies or R-rated comedies, you know, hardly anybody's doing them.

If it's not New Line or now STX, which is a studio that I've been working at the past couple of years, they're the only ones doing it. And it's great that they are, but it's not like it used to be. You know, you'd get offers from Paramount and Warner Brothers and Fox. I mean, they still occasionally make them, but far fewer of the mid-range movies. That's just nuts. Yeah. I see, you know, Kevin Hart's got a movie every six weeks.

Yep. I know Kevin Hart's always doing some. Our old friend, even though they were opposed to comedy out from time to time. Right. You know, but it's not like, I don't know, it's, when I was growing up, there were two or three smash comedies every year. Yeah. that fucked your world up. There was six or seven good ones,

but three that fucked you up. And Murphy, you know, somebody from saying, like, why, something. I don't see that anymore. No. No, that's what I'm saying. It's, you know,

it's kind of like what we're talking about with music. It's evolving. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I mean, right now, I feel like there's so many superhero movies that how can,

Can that sustain our business? And are we going to look back on it 10 years from now and say, remember when we were in that period where all it was was superhero movies or Disney, which seems to like own the planet Earth right now between Pixar and Marvel and Star Wars? It's just, it's an interesting time. I loved Coco. Oh, fantastic. Like I thought it was, I took my daughter.

I thought it was fucking great. Those Pixar movies, they take two or three years to make, but they're all home run. No, absolutely. You know, it takes a lot. It breaks my heart that I'm not the movie guy I used to be. And what do you mean by that? You don't go as much? Friday, 11.30.

I'm that guy. What times your movie come out Friday, 1130? Where's it come out? It comes out in the Lemley, 1145, and it comes out in North Hollywood 6 and 1115. I was at the 1115 in North Hollywood. And I'd schedule a joint, the Chinese food before. that have to be yogurt. Like, I had a process.

It just wasn't the movie. It was the whole thing. Right. I don't know if it's because I got married. I don't know. I just went to the movies on a date. We go to date night. We go into this mission impossible.

The last 15 minutes was an hour and a half. Blow the fucking plane up already. Fifteen minutes, I'm waiting my ass. There's an hour and a half of 15 minutes. The world's got 15 minutes. I'm sitting here an hour and a half. Why is that fucking happened? You know, why is this happening?

I don't need this shit in my world. And I went to see Part 2, The Equalizer. Yeah. And again, nothing topped man on fire. After man on fire,

he could have shot himself in the head because it was so good. He was so good, Denzel and man on fire. Yeah, he was a great drunk pilot. Yeah. And he was okay as to fuck in, whatever. But, you know, it was okay. Like, I didn't remember anything from it.

I didn't come home and give you a line. Yeah. I didn't do any of that stuff. I was telling John how, when I went to see the wrestler, I remember sitting there during the wrestler. I'm watching Mickey Rourke, somebody I loved early on from the Pope of Greenwich Village,

and then Angel Hardy's brilliant. And I'm like, why did I come see this movie at 12? This was the first movie I had gone back to my old self. Like, I went to see that. What's the expensive one on Sunset? Cinerama dog. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.

You get the $6 fucking chicken sausage with the mustard and the onion. You eat like a doctor. You know, you go in there, you drop 50. There's no matinee prices there. There's nothing. You know what you're talking about right there? On Gower, is it Gower?

It's a center ramidone. Yeah. You go in there, that's a yardstick. You go on a day, day you drop 80. Easy. Popcorn, you always got to get this chicken sausage. That's the secret. This chicken sausage with the fucking mustard and onions.

It's brilliant in there. What are we talking about? Oh, but I went in there and I'm watching the wrestler, and I'm thinking of myself, what made me come here? Because like with Goodfellas, I was in a halfway house, Pete. I was in a federal halfway house. Peter, I made up a whole story. I had to go to a hospital or something.

No, I didn't. I had a joint. I went for Chinese food. And I went to the first viewing the ghost of Goodfellers or maybe seven other people in the movie theater. I loved that shit. Oh, yeah. To be able to leave the movie a two and tell people when the movie. And like, we'll go in tonight.

Don't bother. You know, like being a critic for your friends, like it sucked dick. You know what I'm saying? Like, I loved all that stuff. I don't do it no more because there's nothing really that grabs me. The wrestler was the last one that I went, and I thought about what made me go see it. And it was something I read online.

That's it. You know, it's little things. They don't prepare you. The movie studios don't prepare you anymore. It's such a running gun business. You got two weeks of advertising, and I got to catch it in three days if not the movie moves on. Fucking Superfly and God,

already on paper movie. Yeah. Well, no one watches commercials anymore. Who watches, everyone skips through them. So unless you're at the movies watching a preview, how are you finding out about this movie? Now you have to see it on like Instagram or something. Yeah, that's true. This movie that we're...

I've never thought about that. This movie that we're advertising right now, the Jennifer Lopez one, it's called Second Act. The way the movie is being advertised is completely different. It's relying so much more on digital. so Jennifer has like 120 million followers and she released the trailer and I saw Dwayne Johnson did the same thing for skyscraper that's a bigger reach than they're going to get

you know on a TV show and used to be a big thing and I guess it still is sort of but you know Super Bowl spots but they're so expensive now and people are going to the bathroom during them so everything's changing it used to be television was the biggest form of advertising. Now it's digital.

And social. It's so great. I'm sorry. I was just going to say, it's funny what you said about your son, because my cousin went to Ithaca. And he graduated, and like a year later, they switched from film to digital. And he doesn't, he didn't last, because everything he went to school for was out. So it's, we've been talking about the change, and it's just, it's weird how you, sometimes you have no control over it.

Like, you have, like, you probably has a direct. have had to adapt tons since you shot a movie with Joey or even three years ago. The whole business has probably changed a few times. It has changed. I actually was the guy blamed for getting rid of film editing because my first movie, we edited on Abbott. And it was the first major motion picture to edit to edit entirely digitally. And then I had people who were mad at me and like Brian Singer on the end of usual suspect. put, you know, this film was edited entirely on film.

I thought, okay, well, that's fine. It just said, I liked, I came from television where we were editing digitally, and I thought, well, why aren't they doing this in film? And it was different back then. You had to hose down the mags, literally they get so hot, and now it's, you don't have half the machinery in the room. So that was how we edited. And then from a picture standpoint, Dean Semler, who I've done four,

movies with who did the longest yard and grudge match and grudge match he convinced me on get smart to go digital not shoot film and he literally took me to a theater in hollywood and he abed the same scene from i forget what movie and he said i want you to tell me you guess what's film and what's digital and i got it wrong every time i said that's the film he goes no that's digital and that one vice versa so i couldn't tell the difference i said okay we should we should shoot digital. And now there's still a lot of directors who want to shoot film. Chris Nolan, Tarantino, that's great. But what they told me, I said, why do you guys like as cinematographer shooting digitally? He said, well, you know, Pete, you know, I can never go to sleep at night. You know, and I didn't know

it if the film was developed properly or not. I'd have to wake up in the morning and call the lab. And now I know it instantly. It's done. I'm like, oh, that's interesting. And then I remember asking, because Steve Carell really liked shooting digitally. And I said, why? What do you sense as an actor? What difference does it make to you? He goes, I remember hearing the film running through the mag, and I felt pressure like we're spending money if I don't get my scene funny or right.

But digital, I don't hear it, and I hear it's cheap, tape's cheap. So it calms me down. I'm like, wow, I never thought of that. That's crazy. So two different perspectives. So I'm sorry, I help fuck up the business. but it is the way of the future. It is the future.

What are you going to do? No, everything is evolving. I mean, everything has evolved so much. Yeah. And the way you color time a picture, which a lot of people don't even know what that means, but if you look at old movie posters, you know, Lawrence of Arabia,

on the poster, it'll say colorist, and he got a credit on the poster. Now, no one even knows what that is. But it's literally changing the colors of a picture. Now, on film, you would add, a point of yellow to the entire screen or a point of green or a point of blue and this would change, you know, the color of your face. If you looked green and we wanted to make you look tan, you know, you changed color.

Now, digitally, you can colorize certain sections of the screen. It's much more accurate and it's so fantastic. If you watch some of those films, Dorothy, the Wizard of Eyes, anything with Yule Brenner. King and I? King and I. The original West World? the original Westworld, you could see that they fucked around. You couldn't catch what it was.

You were too young. You didn't understand. But you knew something wasn't right, especially with you, Brena. Your Brenner always fucked with me. And I don't know why. His face always looked too tan, or it wasn't tan enough. There was something about your brother that always fucked with me.

How would the longest yard be different if you were to shot it digitally then? Would it have gotten quicker? Would it do? No. You know what? It's an aesthetic choice. It's cheaper, right? Film is expensive.

You used to get when you would shoot a million feet of film, Kodak would come out and give you a bottle of champagne. And that was considered a lot. And on the longest yard, I got two bottles of champagne. And the studio was pissed because they said, you're shooting too much fucking film. Slow down. Like, I'm shooting football.

You know, I have five cameras going. You know, you watch an NFL game on the weekend. There's like 47 cameras that cover a football game. I couldn't do that, but that's what I'm competing against. You know, so we take five cameras and we move them around a couple times, and then it looks like I have 25 cameras. I'm still half of what the NFL is shooting. But shooting on film with that number of cameras, that was very expensive.

And they're not making movies, you know, the Sandler days, that being one of them, where movies cost 80 million? No. Everything now is 20 or under. no one's going to feel sorry for us but that was the business nutty professor cost 85 million they wouldn't spend that today 85 million yeah made 160 but it uh you know they don't green that's what i'm saying they don't green light movies in that world anymore the crazy thing is Netflix still is paying big dollars you know for the budgets of the sandler movies they're still

big over there. I don't quite understand the business model, you know, how they make money. I'm sure they do. But it's just, it's a new era. You know, there's streaming movies. Now Netflix is going to make big Oscar campaigns for their movies. They got a Cohen brother movie. There's an Alfonso Coran movie. Last thing he did was Gravity, remember, and he's got a big one coming out. And so I I guess they put them out in the theater for a weekend, so it qualifies for the Oscars. But then you watch them on Netflix. You know, if you got a nice theater at home, you know, screen and the surround sounds, like, why not? It was funny when you guys were talking about movie theaters because my favorite thing about living in L.A.

And it's actually been closed for about a year is going to places like the New Beverly and seeing old double features for $6. Like that's what I think is kind of growing in the movie industry. There's like people going back. Like I was just, AMC is releasing Smoking Abandon because of Brett Reynolds. They're going to release it. I'm sure every screening will be sold out.

So that's pretty fun. The New Beverly, that's the Tarantino Theater. Right, yeah. They've been doing that. He played, it was awesome. He played Tommy Boy two years ago when it was its 20th anniversary. And so I went and they had me do a little speech in front. It was a packed house because I hadn't seen the movie projected.

since the movie came out. Once, you know, you go to the premiere, that's like the last time you see a movie on a big screen, most of the time. And I said, wait, wait, wait, wait. How did Quentin Tarantino have a 35 millimeter print of Tommy Boy? He said, oh, no, he owns one. I said, I don't even own a 35 millimeter print of my own movies. But he does, and he has a vault.

Because it's got to be color, you know, sorry, a temperature controlled so that the film doesn't melt or decay. And then I had another screening of Tommy Boy at the USC in the Frank Sinatra Theater. And that print came directly from Paramount. And it was a piece of shit. It scratches all over it and everything. Tarantino's copy of the movie was better than Paramounts. It was fantastic. So I love that.

I love what he's doing. Was that your first big comedy? No. First movie I made when I was 30 was Naked Gun, the final Naked Gun. So you went to USC? Went to USC. How long do you stay in New York City for? New York to zero through eight.

Really? Where did you live? I lived Upper West Side, 441, West End Avenue, then moved when I was five to Mamernick. What did you go to public school? What public school would you go to? Oh, I don't know the name of them, but Effie Bellows Elementary, if you want to know. No, I lived on the Upper West Side. Oh, really?

It was preschool. I lived on the Upper West Side from 66 to 73. Oh, yeah? I lived on, you know, 88 Street. 205. Oh my God, we were like neighbors. Yeah, but I went to PS166. That's why I asked.

Oh, I, you know, my, uh, my sister went to PS 109, I remember. I don't remember the number of mine. But, um, Stiller was a neighbor of ours, too, Ben Stiller. Right. He's one of those guys up there, too. I lived a block from Zabars. Okay. One block.

Okay. And I grew up at the Natural History Museum. My grandparents would babysit me and just to shut me up. They'll just take him to the museum. He'll stop crying. How many times do you? You're staying in the middle and look at that whale up on top. I literally was just shooting this.

And I spent seven months of this past year in New York. And I have so much deja vu of, I've been here when I was a kid. Yes. I remember my dad, I went to Riverside Park. And I cracked my skull open. I was riding my bike down the path. And I slammed the brakes on. Went right over the handlebars.

Right by the memorials? It was going down a hill into the park. And I remember. my dad was like taking him to the hospital and and uh he bumps into walter mathau who's walking charlie mathau in a stroller and he goes mort segal how are you and he goes i can't talk right now son's bleeding got to take him the hospital but they had worked together and i you know i remember my dad telling me that story i'm like that's nice so i kind of met walter mathow you know i don't really remember it my brains were oozing out of my forehead right by the lincoln memorial isn't there a lincoln

a memorial? I don't... I'm Riverside Drive. Yeah. By like 90th, between like 85th and 90th, I could be wrong. There's a memorial there. There might be. And my dad died when I was young, but I was baptized Catholic, and

my godfather stuck to his word. On Saturdays, he would pick me up, and he'd take me to, like, fucking... At first, he got bored at kid movies. He'd take me to, like, the love bug. Oh, yeah. And he took me to the world's greatest athlete, Love that.

Michael Vincent with the arms. And John Amos. And John Amos. But one time he's like, I don't want to sit through this. So he took me to see the Velocci papers. Oh, yeah. And I was hooked. No, no.

The first movie took me to see was Her Majesty's Secret Service. It's George Lazenby. That was the first bond. No, he came in between. Did he? Yeah, he was the first. 69. No, they had already made the ones with...

Connery? With Connery. Oh, is he after? I thought he was before. Yeah, let's check it out. He came in. in in 69, 68, did one movie, Her Majesty's Secret Service with Cojack, Diana Rig. I was in love with fucking Diana Rig as a young kid.

So it was, yeah, there was three. He was in between Connery and maybe the saint. Remember the TV show The Saint? Yeah. That guy. That's what he only did one movie. Yeah. And Cojack was in it, whatever the fuck his name is.

Telly Savalas. Telly Savalas. So he played the bad guy in the movie. He was the third. It looks like there was a David Niven was, did it once. What? I do not remember that. Yes.

And George Lazybee in 69, yeah. 69. George Laysen, I was six. David Niven was Bond? What was the name of that movie when he played Bond? Who, uh, David Niven. Casino Royal. What?

That is so weird. In 67. That is so weird. So, yeah, after Sean Connery, they didn't know for sure. When did the guy from the saint come on? The same. Which one is the same? They'll tell you.

Who was after George Lazenby? Okay. Roger Moore. Roger Moore from the saint. He was the one. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. He was the show the saint.

He was the one, though, that I remembered as a kid. As a kid. Moonraker, I think, was my favorite. That was my favorite, too. Yeah. And by the way. So, Jaws, the Richard Keel, who played Jaws in Moonraker, but they brought him back for another one. He was also in the original one.

He was also in the original. original longest yard. Yes, he was. That's why I brought back DeLeep Singh, who was in the longest yard as my huge guy in Get Smart. I was completely, that was an homage to Richard Keel and the original and Moonraker. You do a lot of homages from time to time. Omages are better than pelages. You know, you don't want to be stealing stuff, so you'd like to honor it, you know? So, yeah. It does it feel like kind of like a, I'm not an Easter egg, but almost like, like a little secret that you have that maybe someone will find out, but it's just, it's just really for you.

Yeah. So how long was Peter Moore? Roger Moore? Roger Moore. From 73 to 85. He did. Jesus. Yeah.

Seven of them. And then there was the good looking. Timothy Dalton. Yeah, that's right. He did one or two. And then Pierce Brosnan did for 10 years. Yeah. I like Pierce Bronson.

I did. That's where I grew up. And then Daniel Craig's been doing it since 05. But Daniel Craig is such a great badass bond. It's a different bond and it changed with. I love him. I love him. He did, you know, the redo of Casino Royale, you know, written by Paul Haggis. And by the way, the recent one, Spector, the guy I'm now working with Dave Batista, was the bad dude in that. And, oh, this is some great scenes.

The fight on the train, you know, where you'd never think Daniel Craig could beat the crap out of that guy because that guy is a big man. That's a big dude. That's a big man. Now, are they going to replace Daniel Kreggen, though? He is, like, I think after the last one, he said, I'm done. I'd rather have, see, it said something like I'd rather have sewing needles poked in my eyes rather than do another one of those. And I think he was just exhausted.

And then he came back and said, let me finish. What I meant was, and he stayed. Well, I mean, that's literally what I was just going to bring up. They were, the last I heard is that they were considered, or one of the rumors was Idris Elba. Oh, yeah, yeah. People were going to be crazy. And I was going to get your opinion on it because for me, I mean, I didn't grow up with it.

But to have a black James Bond doesn't really, I don't really have a feeling either way. Do you guys, obviously, you're not going to be like, oh, I would never let a black guy do it. But do you guys get married to the way things were. And when they do remakes, you guys get upset if they change things? Well, first of all, I think he'd be awesome. Secondly, why not? but third it was interesting I experienced a little bit of backlash on um you know uh well get smart wasn't a remake it was an adaptation but correll and I when we did that we wanted to make

it a little more grounded and have the action be a little more masculine and muscular as opposed to just playing the jokes and some fans of the original series said hey it's the original's goofier You guys are, you know, you got comedy, but you got real action in there. It's not the same tone. And I remember Chris Rock, ironically, wanted to play Maxwell Smart. This is before I knew Chris or knew that he was interested in that. But after the movie came out, we had already done Longest Yard at that point. And he called me and said, you stuck to that tone.

I love it. And that's brave. And I didn't understand what he meant. I said, what do you mean? But then I, you know, heard the fans talking. And it's like, yeah, when you mess with a tone. of something, you know, sometimes you can, you can get some friction. Ironically, then, look at 21 Jump Street.

That's a straight up comedy. That's not what the original TV series was. People loved it. So it's interesting, you know, when you can rub people the wrong way by just changing, you know, some aspect of the original, just, you know, just a hair to the left or a hair to the right. I would mind seeing Ibis, whatever's name. is Abbas, whatever the fucking name.

I think number one, he's English. I like that accent that he has, so it would still keep the repertoire. First time I saw the longest year, we went to the Super Bowl. Do you remember that? Which longest, are? Ours? The remake. Yeah. Okay, and

I didn't get flown in by Sony. Telemundo flew me in. Because Adam kept pushing me to Latino market. So Telemundo put me in there, and they put me in a condo, In between Nellie and Michael Irvin, and I remember that we, I think Bert was there. You were there.

Did you go to Super Bowl? I did not. It was a couple guys there, and I was like the odd man out, because I wasn't there with the crew. I was there with Telemundo. And they did like a screening of the fucking trailer, and I got to be honest with you, I went back to the room and I cried. when I saw Adam put his finger in his mouth and put his thing in the guy's ear I nearly cried

like I was never so embarrassed in my life I go you just ruined this tough guy movie with this fucking shit fucking finger in the ear I was pissed for about three days then I went to the second screening at Paramount and then I started falling in love with it I saw what had been done and then I remember that

we're artists we I don't want to see the same movie if you do a remake I don't want to see a same movie but I do want you to keep it in the same vein that's all I ask you keep it in the same vein the death wish they did with Bruce Willis you disrespected Charles Bronson you disrespected me when you did that when you did the mechanic with that guy I love that guy but he ain't no mechanic you fucked it up the mechanic was a guy that killed the position he didn't kill you with a bullet he killed you by faking stuff he did different things to you to kill you. So on the debt certificate,

it didn't come up like you died from that and everybody got healthy. This guy's blowing up fucking buildings. That's not the fucking mechanic. That's not an illustration of me with the mechanic. I want to see the 2018 mechanic. This guy's got electronics. Charles Bronson, you know how the mechanic opens up?

No, not his. It's a fucking 30-minute, no line. Mr. S, not one. fucking line and it's Charles Bronson in downtown LA walks into a hotel checks in Mosulay goes into his room sets up a telescope watches of this guy this guy gets up leaves for the day and Charles Bronson goes back in and you see Charles Bronson's stuff in his tea bags getting one of his favorite books sticking glue balls and books and the guy

comes back and sure enough he puts the fucking tea on and it was sleeping pills in the tea and the guy lays down and Charles Bronson takes the rifle this is after 20 minutes there's not one fucking line the director is sucking you the fuck in and all of a sudden they show Charles Bronson points at the book in the thing and he shoots a bullet at the book and the building blows up and the next day there was a fire and the guy dies nobody knows that's how articulate he was he found out another guy had a heart condition. So he took him golfing and he had somebody shoot at him. So when the guy ran, he died of an heart attack.

When they did the remake, they didn't use that. They just showed me a guy that what would do in 2018 blow people up. That's not the mechanic. So I appreciate a lot of things from remakes. And there's a lot of things from remakes that go a little bit too old. I like Get Smart. I grew up on Agent 99. I wanted to fuck HUD too.

When I came from Cube, I wanted to fuck HUD. Diana Rigg and married Tyler Moore. They were all going to get Dick when I got older. You know what I'm saying? That's a nice sandwich. That's how I learned how to speak English by watching Dick Van Dyke. Yeah. By watching all those shows.

So I felt Diana Rigg was on a show when I was a kid that was a brilliant English show. And even though I didn't like English accents then, it was tougher for me to understand an English accent. Diana Rigg was on a show that was on Channel 9 in New York City. Channel 9 is also known for having the Mets and... The Avengers? Avengers. See, they did a remake of that. Yeah. The Avengers was her and a little English dude. Right. And she would do a bunch of crazy shit.

It's not Captain America, I'm assuming. Yeah, it's not the superheroes. Fucking America, all right? It's fucking the Avengers. But that's weird how you said that they're not, when I did Spider-Man too, like, listen, let's be honest. Longest Yard in Santa Fe was as good as it gets in my world. The smoothie girls, the umbrella girls, the umbrella girls, the people fucking with gabagool they had a lady who came up to you with a tray of co-cuts do understand me by the way you know why why we were so we get there for training camp and that's like the closest i got to playing tom landry right i'm walking around with my playbook and all you guys

are on the field training right in full pads and i'm you know i i didn't have to play director that day, you know, because Mark Ellis is running the football. You know, we design the plays together, but now he's getting everyone in shape. You got, you know, Bill Romanowski who's acting like he's still playing. And he's like, to some actor who jogs by him and goes, hey, whose jersey was untucked, tuck that shit in. And he was taking it seriously. And, you know, I, it was unbelievable. but one day it was actually that same afternoon clouds in the sky looked like a storm was rolling in and samler was pissed he said is berlardi our producer calls him over michael no uh no uh barry barry and uh he says uh what do you not see out on that field he goes i don't know what do you see a bunch of guys in football

uniforms right no girls i want water girls i want water girls i want water girls I want girls bringing around cold cuts. I want these guys to be happy. And Barry looked at me like, what the fuck? I'm like, it's not a bad idea. You know, because he said, we're going to be however many guys we were, you know, large cast in a desert, in a prison. Let's not have it feel like a desert prison.

Let's have a little bit of, you know, femininity. and so that's why we were served, you know, water. Smoothies, protein shakes and little cups. And then Dixie cups, protein shakes. And you would just sit there and drink like 10 of them. Like you were embarrassed. But the girl that came around with the co-cuts, it was something from another world. Like, you know, those cigarette girls?

Yeah, yeah, with a little tray. Like tray. And she didn't just have ham and cheese and some fucking cheddar cheese. No, no, no, no, no. they had everything prosciutto fucking yeah

gabagool and did they rolls to make sandwiches you had everything you had no you put in your hand and ate it

without the fucking animal style like you don't know fuck no they were rolls yeah

and there was it was like they kept coming at you it was like being at uh fogo to chow and putting the green light

like in between tastes but the weirdest thing though is so there's that you're eating

luxurious snacks right in a prison that had the worst riot in U.S. history. So I'm scouting this place and I go into one of the cells and I got two guys from the film commission with me. One was a Native American long ponytail and then his sidekick. And I'm in a prison, a cell and I'm looking out the window at the beautiful Santa Fe, New

Mexico desert. And I said, you know, this is not a bad prison. I mean, if I was going to commit a crime, it's not a bad cell. And they look at each other like they'd just seen a ghost. And I'm then, what was that? I come back to L.A. and I'm interviewing people to be on the crew. The one guy comes in and he's kind of ashen, white.

He goes, you know where you're shooting, don't you? And I said, no. And he hands me a book, and it's called The Devil's Butcher Block, the story of the riot at that prison. And I started to read it. And it was 38,000. people were killed and they were somebody got into the key room and from the key room they went into the tool shed and got the tools and then went into cell block C which was where the snitches were

they pull them all out and they chopped them up bold down the hallways with their heads stacked the body parts in the gym set it on fire so when I go there Iqabod Crane as I used call him he was this caretaker of that wing of the prison like to give tours did you get a tour no he loved giving fucking tours i walked halfway with him and he told me that the floor wouldn't stay the color that the correct he said the blood stains kept coming back he tried to bleach them away and the blood would come back i'm the santerian guy can't be so he starts he shows the chop marks in the floor where they chopped heads off with shovels that the chips from the shovels are still there and And after a while, the players started getting so fucking freaked out.

I got pissed. I said, you gotta bored up sell block C. And no more Iqabad Crane ghost tours. This has gotta stop because it's, we're doing a comedy. You know, everyone's getting fucking freaked out. And so we're eating prosciutto. I remember my kids, you know, are playing catch, you know, on the field and it's sort of like you're going around Gettysburg.

You feel it. It's like palpable. You felt like people died here. And, yeah, I literally hypervent. ventilated the next time I went back to the prison as I was going through the gate. Because it's next to an actual supermat. Supermax. Yeah.

And so this was abandoned and what now Homeland Security would use it to like train. So you go down in the lower level where the chop marks are and you're walking through and the lights are out. And you go to the gas chamber or the electric chair, right? and in and out certain hallways, because of Homeland Security, they have dummies for like targets to shoot. And so you're walking along and suddenly a dummy and you fucking freak out. Like, Jesus! And it's a dummy. And I remember, I don't know if you remember this, Jack G.

Adam's producing partner, dared his assistant for a thousand bucks. Spend the night in the electric chair room with the lights out with all that shit that I just said. Dummies, chop marks, blood that won't erase, I'll give you a thousand bucks. I got so pissed, I said, do not take that bet. I'm going to freak out just thinking about you down there. Don't do it. He did it. He spent the night.

Spent the night. I don't think it was haunted. I remember he could buy, somebody scared me a little bit. There was enough bad juju. It didn't need to be haunted. When we did the prison shots, I had to go into the building. They told me, come over here, go into the building and take prison shots. And the day I was taking the prison shots,

that's when the guy went off on me. I don't know if it was Iqabar, Craig. Whoever was standing in there... He gave you the tour. He started telling me that they had taken the heads and they had putting them on sticks. Like after they were bowling with the heads and shit like that, and when the cops came in,

when the cops seized the prison, the lights were shut off. And they noticed that there was a lot of water. It was like those 12 kids in Thailand. They were walking with water. And when they turned the lights on, it wasn't water. It was blood.

Oh shit. It was rivers and puddles of blood that were running. Like, that's how much blood. To read this book? Oh, my God. You don't want to read. No, no, it's going to freak out. It's going to freak out.

But that's where we, people don't realize that. That's where we did this comedy. So the first day that we shot, Adam brought an Indian in. Oh, my God. I think he brought a rabbi in. I think he brought up in that in the house in. I think a rabbi came in with a small 50. But do you remember what he did?

He pissed him off, too. Because the guy had, he burned some incense. some herb. And he was blessing. And then Sandler said right afterwards, hey, can I smoke some of that now? And the guy looked at him. Like if there could have been a clap of thunder,

I went, holy shit, I hope you just didn't jinx us. But he had to crack a joke. You know, it's, it's, like I got to, I was very lucky in the beginning. You know, there wasn't no $100 a day movies, you know, when I moved here. There wasn't no $4.35. It was all scale plus 10 and you went from there, you know.

And I still remember going to a commercial shoot in 1990. From 97 to 2000, if you went to a commercial shoot, when you signed in, it would say the product, Breyer's ice cream. And it would say, you know, some salesman, whatever, the rolls. And then it would go. It shoots September 15 through the 18th. When you got the call, guess what? You worked all three days.

For two days you sat there and watched other people shoot their commercials. Briars wasn't really shooting one commercial. It was shooting three. One a day. They would hire you. And you sat there for two days. They paid you scale plus ten. And they knew it.

Just in case something happened. They wanted to shoot that commercial again or they wanted to get something. If you got a movie in those days, I always got over time. I still got the ticket stops. Like my first couple TV shows, you would sit there their overtime that all disappeared like at spider-man too you know they were eating lobster tails on the Sony line on Friday so you do know that so when you see a movie that says 160 million you have to consider that how much of that is waste like they

had this was 2003 when I shot Spider-Man 2 pomegranate juice remember was at five dollars a bottle they would have half gallons out and I would just take a gallon bring it in my room. I didn't fucking know. You know how much those half gowns are? And then you shoot a $100 a day movie. And there's no wardrobe chick that picks the lint off your shirt. There's nobody

that fixes your hat. What you look like is what you look like, bitch. What you look like is what you look like. Then you do the longest yard where they actually had a tattoo you in the morning. Remember? Our fourth time was 445. Yeah. 445.

And those animals who I just did his podcast, Steve, Austin. Oh, yeah? Those animals were out till one or two, four nights a week. Yeah. I don't know how they would, they would close that hotel bar down, that little dingy, they had three seats. Yeah.

No one tells the director these things. They didn't want to freak me out. So I never heard any of this. I thought you guys were like all tucked in bed by nine. No. Those guys would go to Albuquerque. There was really no action in Santa Fe. No, a lot of art galleries.

A lot of art galleries. There was one strip club. It wasn't. I went in there and tried to do comedy one night. They threw me out. I was like, I just wanted to do comedy. Nobody just, there's not one open motherfucking Mike in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Yeah.

But they had a Dunkin' Donuts. We had cars and we could drive up that little strip of land, like, towards Les Cruces. I went to Albuquerque one time, and I realized they shot cops there, and then we went back again. All those guys would go to Albuquerque for the weekends. I was like, fuck you. I would stay up there with the Seattle Seahawk would always stay. He never went back, Brian Bosworth. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And a couple guys would stay the weekend. I remember one time, I can't remember the name of the hotel in Santa Fe. I was staying in the middle of the shoot. And they told me they said, this Saturday, you need to move out of your room. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Arnold. Then you can move back in Sunday. I'm like, you're really going to kick me out of my house. Well, we have a VIP who's coming.

and this is his favorite room. So I said, really? Okay. And I moved out for one night. And then on the set one day, someone says, Pete,

the governor wants to talk to you. I'm like, what? And so they hand me a phone. Peter, I just want to tell you, thank you very much for letting me stay in the room.

It's just a personal convenience for me. And he just was thanking me. I was like, this is so cool. And you know who else they ask to leave? Who? Nelly. Really?

because he was smoking pot in the hotel, and they didn't want Arnold to smoke it. So they asked Nellie to leave for two or three days. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, for sports. He was probably close to you. You didn't know.

I didn't know. Nellie was in your wing. There was a certain wing that they closed off for Arnold that week. Sell Block C wing. Yeah, sell block C wing and stuff like that. Wow. Interesting. You know, I always want to ask you when you, I mean, I love Tommy Boy.

You know, I miss Chris Fall. It's so weird that I think about the last. time I saw Chris Farley and it was one of the saddest things I ever saw in Hollywood. But I had gone through what he was going through. My girlfriend was a stripper on Lyseniga and I had just left the comedy store. This was two weeks before he died. This is 98, right? When did he die?

Mm-hmm. I think. 98, 98, 90s. December 18th. On 98th, this had to be two weeks, three weeks before he died. At that strip club, there's no contact allowed. They dance naked. You can't touch him.

no lap dances. What you could do is hire him to dance nude, but they have to stand five feet from you, and there's a rope. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. That seems just stupid. I can't grab you. I can't fucking RV you, you know what I'm saying, for the small $5. But it was so funny how my girlfriend at the time said, park the car, you've got to see this. I didn't know what she was going to show me that was Chris Farley sweating profusiously

He was sweating so much that his hair was back He had like a shirt on him And he was just rolling up in 50s and 20s And getting on lap dance And just throwing him out of him And I remember looking at him Come on everything in my heart Wanted to go up and give that guy a hug

I'm a comic You know what I'm saying Like everything And you over hear that expression don't talk to the celebrities you look up to because you might be disappointed like I remember going in that car and being fucking really sad

that I saw one of the other guys I was a little chubby at the time so I looked up to him balushi you know and that was the last time I saw two weeks after that he was probably gone but two three weeks and I was like that's fucked up that I saw him that night acting that way at a strip club giggling by himself

he was totally by himself and was in a soul with him Well, I sort of straddled two sides of his personality because I started working with him in television. He was in an HBO special I did with Tom Arnold and Ben Stiller and Jim Carrey were in it. And I remember him showing me and I was shooting with Chris Farley. We went to the Glendale Galleria and we were just following around with a camera as he was picking up on girls. It was pee in your pants hilarious. He would like walk up to a girl and say

holding an orange and say hi Can you have fingernails? Can you start my orange for me? I can't peel it. And then he'd just start flirting with hilarious stuff. Right after that he'd, so that was for HBO. Then we did the Jackie Thomas show and he played Tom's brother. And right after that episode,

I read for you then. What year was in Jackie Thomas? 97. No, 91. No, no, I wasn't here. Different. I read for a different Thomas show. Well, they put him straight in a limo and took him to rehab.

So when I was working with him, he was still, you know, high and abusing stuff. Tommy Boy, he was clean. And ironically, I'm shooting this, prepping this movie in Toronto. I haven't been to Toronto since I shot Tommy Boy 24 years ago. He was clean there and he always went to his priest at night and that was his AA. And, you know, right after Tommy Boy, he, there were a lot of things offered to Chris because he kind of blew up. And the things that were offered to him, I thought were terrible. And he kept saying, well, do this with me, Pete, do this.

And I said, it's terrible. It's terrible. And I said, no, no. And he got really upset with me. He thought I didn't like him anymore. And he was mad at me. And I had to write him like a seven-page letter. Tell him how much I is absolutely wrong.

I adored him. I just wanted the best for him. I thought he could get nominated for an Oscar one day if he chose properly. But don't cash in on this crap you're being offered right now. Wait. You know, choose. And he forgave me. It was soon thereafter that he passed.

And we never got to work together again. And I always felt sad about that. You know, but going back to Toronto lately, it's like all these memories are flooding back. I literally stood at the Gooderman Wirtz Distillery last week, which was Callahan Auto. And they built an apartment building where the front gate was, so I was a little disoriented. I said, I remember we entered somewhere and it's not here anymore? And then finally I stood in the middle of the courtyard where he sat thinking about his father who passed away. And I went, holy shit, I know exactly where I am.

Oh, my God. And almost got emotional because I was like, I'm standing where Chris sat. and I could barely recognize it but the buildings are historical landmarks so they didn't touch the actual buildings but they just put so many condos around it it was hard to recognize but no he you know

I talked to Spade every now and then and Fred Wolf and I are who wrote the movie are still good friends Fred's still around Fred's still around yeah I see the one brother around the one Farley brother

John Kevin I know both of them yeah one lived down the corner for me on Gardner and the other one I knew from auditions and whatnot and stand up with David, he's always around with Spade. They're great guys. Yeah, I think he hangs out with, so he opens for Spade.

One of them opens for Spade. That's the one I see. They're great guys. I remember when I was a kid, I loved fucking Booba. Blues Brothers was on last night and I just sat there and laughed my ass off. And I was thinking about how I used to eat Quailoutes in like 1980. And there was a pizza parlor in my neighbor. And the guy was as racist as fuck.

he was Greek. His name was Nick Nick's Pizza. And he would just tell you what was on his mind. And he had the accident like, fuck you. And I went going to go in there one night going, Nick, let me go to fucking Sicilian. He was like, fuck you, you fucking speak. And I took the red crushed pepper

and I threw it out of him to some shit. And he's like, get out. Look at the shape. I went, oh, I know what happened. I puked. And I had puke out of my shirt. I went in there. All coy looted out. And he's like, look at you. You look like balushi. So ever since that he would always call me

fucking balushi get the fuck fucking balushi he was he would today got arrested for his impolitically

correctness there's a kid in my neighbor that now is an assembly but he's a big deal his family always owned a funeral Paul they've always

very successful when he was a kid he would get a slice at Nick's but he would cross the street the hashways because the iced tea was a nickel

cheaper and Nick would be talking to he'd go Where's fucking Bonini? And we go, he went the hashways because the iced tea is cheaper across the street. Now, this is the Tour Boulevard. Cars everywhere.

Nick would walk out to the middle of the street and go, Vaniti, you fucking Jew, you suck. But I always loved candy. I always loved all those big guys. Until this day, I adore Jim Candy. When Tommy Boyson, I won. watch all that shit all those late nights Saturday lives with Chris Farley the Chicago shit makes me

fucking like my ass off yeah it was so weird that like I have the opportunity now like I'm still fucking kicking it 55 and those guys are gone and there was one time when I was just as crazy as those guys it's so fucking sad to me like

this every three days I sit there and go what made me quit that shit and quit it for good like it never came into a thought there was never a real lab. Like once I said enough that was it. You're lucky. I'm very fucking lucky.

And you look gorgeous. You dropped a lot of weight since I saw you. Fifty-five with a five-year-old. Nice. You know, you got to you really you hear the expression for years and you nod your head at your friends and you say yeah and you give them some

bullshit story. But there comes a day you really, really have to look after yourself. It's like being a good friend to yourself. You know, you go home at night and you really want to eat that Hagen-Daz but you eat two apples instead and you get a jello pudding that's got three points. You know, you really

want the fucking Hockendars. And then the morning you yell at your wife at getting the fucking Hock-Az. Yeah, that's why I do the shopping. Do you? Yeah, because I don't buy the shit that I know after a glass of wine that I'm going to eat. You look great. Well, thank you. Now, for a guy that works on films because people have no idea what a director's day is like

and what's in front of it you have no idea like you don't know the call for the day yeah every once in a while you could come up to the first aid and say bring me a salad from Chipotle but besides that you're so consumed with the film if you're really consumed with the film you're not even thinking you just

want to hit the lunch break and then see I lose weight making movies because there's so much stress right so I had an assistant once when at when lunch would come up you know and they hand around you know the menu here's what's today I said dude I make 10,000 decisions a day have this decision be yours you know the three things I eat chicken whatever and chicken so just get me whatever you know I don't want to look at a menu so we we go and when they turn the lights out in the Daily's trailer.

You know, there's an 18-wheeler, it's got pop-outs, and that's where we look at the footage from the day before. The food gets delivered, and as soon as it gets delivered, you know, they turn out the lights, and then your plate is lit by the screen, you know, that you're watching. Every time I'd look down, I'd hear a laugh, and I missed it. So I said, fuck, I can't cut with a knife and fork. So whatever you get me, his name was Skippy. Whatever you get me, Skippy, I got to pick it up with my hands, like an animal.

I'm just going to like a caveman in my cave and I just pick it up whatever it was. Chicken breast? Great, because I can hold it. After a while, I guess I got picky about what I was eating and the lights would turn on and Dean Semwer would look at me and he goes, Mike, what's wrong with your face? I said, what do you mean? He said, you got a rattle around your mouth. And I, like that a terrible Australian accent, by the way, but I look down on my plate

and I'm eating coleslaw and strawberries with my hand. I go, how long have I'm eating this shit? He goes, well, I didn't want to bug you anymore because you got picky about your food so you hadn't said anything in a couple of weeks so i've been eating coleslawn strawberries with my hands you know so that you know i fucked myself on that one how is the stress on those films it's uh i remember my first movie you know back in we were shooting in 93 naked gun i had gone from making you know television to a 35 million dollar budget i remember my mother telling me man, your balls are really on the line.

I went, thanks, Mom. That's so comforting. Thank you. And then, you know, when the numbers, first Sandler movie I did, you know, anger management with Jack Nicholson, it was like 75 million. They don't make those, like I was saying before, they don't make those anymore.

But so it's not just that I didn't work with Adam Sandler for the first time, although I'd known Adam through Farley and Spade and the other guys, we'd bump into each other. So I'm working with him. He was at the height of his career. Very powerful. Jack Nicholson doesn't get any bigger. And then everybody wanted to be in that movie Woody Harrelson, John Turturro, etc.

And you can't, my brother asked me. My brother was the editor-in-chief of Los Angeles Magazine just left, and now he's heading the news for NASA JPL. God bless him. And he said to me, don't you ever get nervous? I said, I literally don't have time to get nervous when I'm on the set. It's like business. And so that's how I'd lose weight.

It'd just be so focused on what you have to do. And I'm, you know, very responsible, you know, so I don't want to go over. I'm a good Jew that way. Bad Jew religiously. Recreational Jew. So, but I don't want to go over ever. So I don't. But that's another pressure.

You know, to keep that, hey, you remember Santa Fe, keep that juggerna going. when not only deal with football and prison and ghosts and all this, but every day at 3 in the afternoon, we'd have a fucking tornado. You know, we were shooting during a monsoon season. And Nellie had to go on tour on Fridays. Yeah. So he had to shoot everything until Wednesday morning. Yeah.

And he had to leave in tour. I mean, there were days that, I don't know. When I looked at you, you didn't look stress during the longest shot, but I knew it was hard on everybody. It's- It's a genius to figure out that there was too many people. No, there was, it was crazy. That was too-

No, no, it was crazy. Look, if I have a superpower at all, it's I look calmer on the outside than I am on the inside. That was your, I knew it was a lot of stress on you. I knew there was days that you were directing the movie. That wouldn't even look at you like that. It was just,

there was no time. Yeah. There was no time to go, Pete, what do you want from me in this? You know, you got to, you got to pee it, and you got a thing, and you're like, just do what you. Just do what you did.

Yeah. You know, I still remember going up to Adam and Redondo Beach. It was the day that Nelly released his two albums. That way he took us to the party. Do you remember that? It was like September because we went to Santa Fe like July and August and we came back and had a week off. And then we went down to work.

And I'll never forget the day. Like once we got up here, the game changed a little bit. There was no more umbrella girls. Right. You mean back to California? Back to California, Paramount started lingering a little bit. Yep. It was really funny.

One day, we're doing the locker scene, and I'm sitting there, I'm 395 pounds, and I'm like, damn, one of my favorite sports movies, again, we all homage is, one of my favorite sports movies is Major League. I think they did a great job with Major League, and the Cuban and Major League is now a fucking huge star. He does all state commercials. Right. But there was one scene when the owner comes up to him and he's got a jock on and she smacks him in the ass and he's Cuban. And I go, you know what, what if I fucking wore a jock? I'll never forget that Adam was talking to two guys from Paramount. And you guys were making wardrobe decisions and I go, I got to put this fucking jock on.

So that was your idea? Oh, yeah. So you're the guy that says I was sickened by him doing a wet willy to him and then you come out in the jocks trap and that's okay. Because this is a real football scene. We're real prisoners. Let me explain some to you. I saw the longest yard. I saw the longest yard at the Union City Cinema.

The weekend that came out. And there was two movies I had gotten. Like, we went to everything in those days. That came out in 73, right? The original longest yard? Yeah. 73. Look at what came out in 73.

I mean, you were up against. No, that was 76. 73 was deliverance, I think. Deliverance? Yeah. Because there was only two movies, and I went to see everything at the cinema from Charles Bronson. 74, it came out. Yeah, 74.

So I was 11, and they would let you in. The cinema didn't give a fuck if you were 10, 4, whatever. When they had that movie about the devil, the Exorcist came out. No, the Exorcist came out, and then somebody tried to be even more gross, and they came out with this other horror movie towards 74, where they gave you puke bags on the way in. But you had to be under 18. you got to come with your mother. They didn't give a fuck.

They just gave you a puke bag, the devil's lair or whatever. But one thing I remember about the longest shirt, first of all, my mother had the bar. So there was a lot of shady characters that hung there. And I went to this Union City cinema, and I could look in the I and Pete.

When I saw Longest Yard, when it ended, the movie theater was on their feet, yelling, mean machine. Like, this is 1974. The other movie that we were on our feet for was Rocky. That movie theater, 300 people, you're standing on your seats.

The people that got, what do you call those theater attendants? They kept telling us to sit down. Usher's? Yeah, the ushers were like, fuck you. Mean machine, mean machine. So when I thought the mean machine, I thought we were going to be a bunch of fucking badasses. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I just didn't know who he was going to be more of a comedic. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah. So, no, that was my idea. I went up to him and said, dog, let me put a jack on. And one of the guys said no. And the other guy didn't like me, not Barry Bernardi, but the other guy and me had gone to war over a bet. Because he couldn't pick a fucking winner.

What was his original partner's name of the attorney? Jack G. Jack G. Couldn't pick a fucking winner if his day depended on him. He couldn't. Bro, the luckiest day he ever had was the day his dog got hit by a car. So him and his younger brother, remember his younger brother? You know, whenever I play Long Island, his brother shows up.

Oh, yeah. He still shows up to a younger brother. So Jack G and me, Jack G was like, down. He came to him and they goes, what do you think about this game? So I told him, and he lost, and he started getting pissed off at me. So Jack G. was there when I went up to Adam. He's like, absolutely not. I wasn't talking to you, bro.

I was not fucking talking to you. You know, we were at that point in the movie. The tempers were flaring a little bit. Getting towards the end. That was also the day that somebody, the shirt at Michael Irvin and Michael Irvin didn't catch it and it landed on the floor. This is a very interesting story and Romanowski stepped on it and then uh fuck-oh from the Seattle Seahawks stepped on it and Michael Irvin looked at both of me goes that's great real fucking

mature he goes it doesn't matter because when I played both years in college all you motherfucker seen was and he tied the shirt around like it was a cape and he ran past him. He goes, this is all you guys ever saw me anyway. It was me doing this. Like running and we fucking, like, Romanosky and the other guy had nowhere to go. Like, tempers were already starting to flare.

Romanowski had called out the fighter. Not the big guy. Not Bob Sap. Not Bob Sap. Morrie Smith. That was almost a fight in the fucking poor section one day that the staff didn't find out about. No, Bill...

We were on our side and we had the wrestlers across from us and it was me, Nick, Bill Goldberg and Romanowski was somewhere with his Hawaiian wife and one day fucking, he just went up to Mark

or whatever and said some weird stuff to him and Ivan Salivary had to come out and Bob Sapp had to come out and one of the wrestlers stood in the middle and that was the end of that. There was a lot of testosterone. A lot of testosterone on that fucking set. But you know what is interesting?

I just remembered you know, especially since Bert Reynolds just passed. You remember the day Bert had an idea. He said, I just want to do some stuff. It was like we had finished the day. He said, can I have some of the players over here? I just have some ideas. And that scene where he pulls you by your helmet down to the ground,

remember there was no script for that. And I thought, I have no idea what he's doing. He just wants to, he said, I got some ideas. I just want to do some coaching stuff. So he brought you and a few other players. and the leap sing I remember specifically and I just thought to myself what is going on here but let's try it you know if you look at that scene it's about the rain yeah of course if you look at that scene it's always about to rain you couldn't whoever was light in that scene did no

Bueno that day because it was just by the time he lit it it got darker yeah but if you watch those scenes it was also getting to be night it was getting to be nighttime yeah so you could see the contrast but I'll never forget that I didn't know what he wanted to do Me neither. And then he just said, line up in, getting a four-point stance. And then he just yanks you by your help. He fucking yanked me. Almost took your head off.

But I couldn't believe how strong he was. Yeah. Like at that moment, I hit the floor. And I remember him pulling me up, come on, big guy, get up. Let's do this scene again. And now I was prepared for the yank. I wasn't prepared for the yank when he first. No.

That's in the movie. That's in the movie. Oh, yeah. I was hoping that stay in the movie. I was like, I hope they keep that out. Big Pete, that's Bert Reynolds touching me and shit like that. That's all that matters. I can talk shit from the after doomsday on that shit.

Well, I remember also, Bert was not supposed to do, when he comes into the game, he was not supposed to actually run that play. And it was against Bosworth. And he said, Pete, let me do it. I got it. Don't put my stuntman in.

I got to do it. And I thought, we could actually kill Bert Reynolds on this play. I said, the nobody none of the producers want you to do this we got to put just no let me do it let me do it bossworth tackled him kind of went a little easier on him than he would have um and i remember picking bird up and said kid he just added 10 years to my life never forget that he had tears in his eyes he uh it was really weird last week because i don't get emotional you know i'm I can't tweet dumb shit

But it was so weird how he died And I did some stuff And I was like wow, that's a shame that he died He was a good guy And then I went to the room The computer And my daughter came in And there's everything she gives me

I hang up, you know She gave me a picture And a patch was on the picture And she wanted to take the patch Off the picture So when I took the picture off the wall There it was There's a picture of me

Bert Goldberg Nick the Tour and Adam and he wrote you know Always love your brother Bert and I took the picture down I sat there for five minutes and I was like

I went to prison I got left back in the seventh grade I got a GED but in all this I got to spend six weeks with Bert Reynolds two trailers down for me

and I would be smoking in the morning it's pot and he go don't you know there's a federal prison right next time. You know, he always, so right then and there, like I got emotional. I go, how fucking lucky am I? I went to see the longest yard, all the Smoky and Bandit movies.

I went to see all that little whorehouse in Texas. I was a fan. You know, when I met him, there was two people who blew me away at the lunch. It was him and Luther, the guy that was in 48 hours and the little, Oh, yeah, yeah. Stephen. You ever work with him again? Have you ever booked in him?

No, he was great actor, though. We kept in touch for a long time, and I would do shows in the city, and he would show up Peter Siegel. He would show up, and people would go, fucking looters here from 48 hours. People would freak the fuck out when they saw him. You know, the guy from the Warriors,

he told us how he got that. That when he moved, he was a musician, from Detroit and he moved to New York and he lived in the Bronx and he was had long hair and that every night the Italians would play bottles and go dirty hair

come out and play hey so when he got warriors that's where he got that thing with the bottles I mean it's fucking crazy the shit you learn and all this stuff what did you learn from Jennifer Lopez

she's a great actress she really is blew me away She is You know, she kind of went through a little bit What I did in her experience with doing television You know, when you crank out 10 pages a day She had to learn you know

Because the old movie business When you're doing two pages a day, two and a half pages a day It's luxurious and super slow You're doing 10 pages a day, you better know your shit So she was prepared And when an actor is prepared You get to play more You get to try things

And it's a very sweet story You know, it's, it's very funny, but it's emotional. And it's inspirational. It's about, you know, second acts in life, you know, when you think that you're done and you, you know, you talk about it with your podcast. You said, you know, a little less acting and now you've got a new lease on what you're doing, you know, and that's what her character goes through in that movie. And in a way, you know, I'd done all these male driven movies. This was my second act. You know, I did something very different.

You know, it's a sort of a chick flick. You know, the guys like it too, but I know who my audience is in this one, you know. But she's great and charming. And I got to tell you, you know, we've almost worked together a few times over the years, but she's never been bigger. She's a freaking brand. No, she's on TV too, right? She's television.

She's Vegas. She's movies. She's, you know, just was the VMA, you know, video vanguard, Michael Jackson. and lifetime achievement, blah, blah, blah. I remember you retweeted. Yeah, she's, I don't know anyone who works harder. I don't know, I don't get it how hard she works. She's starting to show Ray Leona.

Yeah, that's finishing. That's wrapping up. And so I think it might have finished. But she's got World of Dance, which is huge. And like I said, she's still doing Vegas. I just heard a commercial, you know, for her Vegas thing from the tourism board in Nevada. And she's got now the movie thing is kicking back in. She's sort of not done that in a while.

She's got comedy chops, though. She does. She's got comedy chops. She does. You know what she was good at? You know what it was a bad movie, but she was really good at the Hector Laveau story. The Hector Laveau story was because if you don't remember right, one of the costume designers on the longest yard was her costume for years. Oh, I didn't know.

The blonde. There was the blonde. So the blonde brought in the script to Hector Laveau. gave it to me. She goes, I don't know if you know Jennifer's doing this. If you see something and you want to audition for it, there was really nothing for me to audition for in that movie. But she plays a crazy wife,

a Puerto Rican wife. And she's fucking funny. Like I said, the movie, she was married to Mark Anthony at the time, so she shot it with Mark Anthony. The movie's not an Academy Award winner, but she did pretty fucking good. Yeah. She did. She did really good. Did you see yourself

at USC college doing all this shit you're doing now 20 years later 30 years later when did you graduate from the i graduated 84 and um i wanted to be a pro football player so i uh walked on football team at sc as a punter was a quarterback in high school but i said i'm not going to make it as a quarterback but i could kick and uh made the first two cuts and then got cut uh but the coolest thing that the coolest thing ironically again relates back to Longest Yard the guy who beat me out was Sean Salisbury who became our quarterback coach in the Longest Yard so I got to tell him you ended my football career but thank you because without you I may not have gone into what I'm doing now because I got an internship at local CBS and that began my segue into a world I never thought

I'd get into I can never forget this either we're standing there there in a circle. Sean Sonsbury comes in saying hello to everybody. Hey, how are you doing? What's going on? I think Romanosky goes, what's that fucking mutt doing here? Like, you know, and you know

Romo said it so he could hear it. He goes, what's that fucking mutt doing here? And when Sean Salisbury was four free from him, he looked at Roma, Romo, he goes, what are you here to do? Teach these quarterbacks how to get sacked. Oh my God.

Right through his face. Salisbury's like, you've never changed. I never will. Get the fuck out of you, but he was pissed. Oh, my God. He goes, what are you going to do? I'm here to help out the quarterback. Teach him how to get sacked?

What the fuck did you ever do? Get out of here. Oh, my God. I never heard that story. No, there was. Oh, that's a good one. He pulled a couple good shit on there. You know, like I said, I was a virgin.

I had done like 10 movies where I was three days or less. I think the longest day I had, the longest stint I had was a movie with Rodney Dangerfield. That there wasn't no character. He liked me so much. He just told me when to come in. Yeah, yeah, we'll find something for you tomorrow, kid, just come in. I'd have to knock on his door and he'd have a robe on. His dick was out.

His balls were out. He didn't give a fuck. He's rolling a joint. It's blowing up everywhere. Should I come in tomorrow? Joe, Joe, come in. So I had never been in this fucking 17 week. Yeah.

We shot so much garbage at the end. Oh, yeah. But I was sitting there going, why are we still here? Do you remember the night? Like, everybody was wrapped. It was me and Lobo, and we shot a scene of me tattooing Lobo's back. Oh, yeah. I do.

And it was, she wanted Joy Behar, but I put, like, Roseanne Barr on his back. Yeah. Oh, my God. I can't even remember that. We never kept. That was the night. I mean, there had to be eight of us. I mean, we were shooting like.

for six scenes and fucking Adam got a chocolate fountain what? You think I'm kidding? You had Sonya. He got a fountain that was made out of chocolate with chocolate with chocolate fudge with fondue. All you did was I stood there for two hours

just fucking fond dune. Are you kidding me? We did that scene, never made it. One scene that was just horrible. We could not get to work. That was one of the best scenes in the movie is when they're in the infirmary. In the original, it's one of the best scenes in the movie.

They're throwing toilet paper at each other, and they're cheering. They just won. The guys are all hurt in the infirmary. We shot that. That never made it. It was God awful. I don't even remember that. It was like me and two other guys, but I didn't have nobody to work off.

You didn't give me somebody comedically. So you gave me two wrestlers and the guy from the Giants. I couldn't do that with him. The guy that won the championship with the Giants. He was number 55. for the Giants. He was a white dude. He was in that movie. He was like a friend of Adams and shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You had him in the infirmary, all the guards that Steve Austin, who got his dick knocked out, and somebody else who got knocked out. I was the only guy that got knocked out by Romo. Yeah. So I was in the infirmary. We shot the infirmary scene, which I was excited. Fuck for. Yeah.

I'm like, this is a great scene. I'm throwing toilet paper at them. I'm telling them to go fuck themselves. We just, it was horrifically bad. Well, see, you're a comic. At least you know when it's bad, you know, and you're not comedic. Oh, I knew that one. I'm killing.

When I walked out of that scene, I go, they're not going to have that. That was just that bad. That was just that bad. Are you happy you're doing what you're doing? I am. I am. You know what? One thing, and we're talking so much about the longest yard,

but there's nothing closer that I can imagine to actually being a performer than when I go into a theater and watch one of my movies that is rocking. and I remember our final test screening in Las Vegas for Longest Yard, we got a 94. My heart was going to come out of my chest because like when, you know, Nellie's streaking for the touchdown and Chris Berman is going, hey, could, go. The whole crowd goes, oh, the way. When you're talking about the original Longest Yard and that the crowd stood, the crowd was cheering this movie during the game like it was an actual game. and I thought my, if you took my pulse, it'd be like 150 beats per minute. It was one of the coolest things ever, walked out and Bosworth said,

dude, this movie's going to blow up. I remember calling Chris Rock from my phone saying, I wish you were here tonight in Las Vegas. It was, that's the type of thing that makes me love what I do. There's a lot of crap that you've got to deal with. It's very, very hard, a lot harder than people think. But when you can have a night like that, you know, it makes it all worth it. So a couple last questions.

So when a movie goes over budget, Pete, they blame you? Blame me? Here's the thing. My movies have not gone over budget. I'm pretty honest about that. Pretty honest. That's weird. I am honest about that.

But you know what? James Cameron's little movie called Titanic went way over budget, almost by double. Didn't matter. 11 Academy Awards, one of the biggest hits of all time. I could be on budget and have a bomb. Doesn't matter that I was on budget. It was a bomb. So I'm not, I don't want to sound this way and make studio execs nervous hearing this,

but it almost doesn't matter. I've seen people rewarded for one and, you know, shit on for the other. You just got to make a good movie. If you go over budget and you win 11 Academy Awards, they suck your dick and call you shorty. Exactly. If you go over budget and you either. Your bag of dicks. Yeah.

Then you're fucked. You can't even get a table at fucking the, you go into director's jail. It's, it's so weird how it's everything is off your last movie. That's it. And in today's economy, in today's world, it's money. Yep. Which the money's not what it used to be. You know, people aren't going to the movies.

They got Netflix. They got this. They got that. You're in a tough business. And when I asked you about the stress, it's just because I tell you what, man, for three years, I had a hard time with comedy the last. three years and I let the audience get to me I wanted them to leave having a good experience I know what you have to go through to come watch me you have to get a

babysitter you have to get your wife all dolled up she's got to shave her monkey you got to shave your monkey there's a lot to go into a comedy show or a movie theater with your wife especially in today's economy so if you pay 2750 to come see you I want to be the best I can so I play it safe I play it safe i played on the budget i stayed to a certain time i finally realized i got to be myself so i don't give a fuck no more the audience is gonna love me whether they know it or not just because i stepped out on stage and that's how i i don't want to work on a movie set like the longest yard was two changes new mexico was relaxed as fuck and then california was now we got cameras on us

everybody's watching us. I felt the difference. I felt looser in whatever. And it's a healthier environment. So for you to fake the funk and say that you were understress, you had me fooled because I laughed my ass off shooting. I mean, I had my rough days

because I was just that out of shame. You know, when you guys were training, they were walking me around the field with an oxygen tank. I do remember that. Two hoses in my nose, because I couldn't even remember. breathe in that elevation so these guys are right pushups yeah I forgot the elevation the elevation the elevation was I was 400 pounds so I had an oxygen coach that

would just give me oxygen and make me do like little push-ups that was my training like just get move your feet up that's all I was doing he was out all right you're good take and breathe it Peter single I'm happy you took time out of your busy day thank you my friend love seeing you come visit you come visit I I did not know that you had won eight Emmys. Local Los Angeles area Emmys. They're a little smaller. Okay, whatever.

You still won something. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? It's like Lee won the contest of flappers. You want a pizza. You still want something. You know what I'm saying? It's not the best pizza in the world, but you want a pizza. That's all that matters.

No, I'm happy you took the time. I hope you come visit me again before the movie comes out. We'll do. Get in more detail. Yeah. So has she released the trailer on her? Yeah, it's out. Trailers out. It's online, I guess. Yeah.

Wherever you find it online, but I'd go, you know, to her Instagram, you'd probably find it. So there's only 77 million other people on there. So easy to find. Like I said when you came in here, I love your Twitter. I hope more people follow you on Twitter. Thank you. And Instagram. Where do they go to find you on Instagram? Well, I got the blue check recently. Oh, shit. You got verified? I got verified. All right.

So I guess I'd just say Pete Siegel and it gets to me, but if not, it's at Pete underscore Siegel. You know, I like what you're doing as a director. You get people looking to your world. And I think, you know, now I think I just shot something a few months ago. And when I got there, they made me sign something. And they didn't want no pictures taken. And I thought it was so weird. I got half a million followers.

You don't want me to take a picture of me on the TV set with the director or one of the stars of the show. They were so social media scared. And we have our own people. But your people suck dick. That's why you have 11 hundred people following you. You know what they're doing. You just hired a college student. I like what you do with social media.

That's why I kept bugging you to come in because you're on to something. When I see those pictures and shit, you're on to something. So don't be a fucking stranger. No. When does the movie get released? Thanksgiving day before. So maybe we'll see you after that. We'll see you after that.

We'll talk some shit about the movie. and stuff like that. Thank you very much for coming in, thank you the time, and I love you to death. Don't forget, you little dirty bass. It's everything sold out this weekend. Where am I going? Philadelphia and fucking even, listen,

Hurricane, no hurricane could stop me. I'm getting on that plane tomorrow. Tip Top Magoo, head at the fucking Philly, and then Saturday night I'm at the 930 Club. But I'll see you guys next week. I want to thank Peter Siegel again for coming on the show. You know I love you, brother. Wait, listen, I got to talk to you people about something that's important.

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Thank you for support and Lee. but most importantly for listening and being family. You know, I love you, motherfuckers, with all my heart. I'll see you this weekend. You understand me? Whether I be at the fucking Philly Park Casino or at the 930 Club, you bad motherfuckers, I love you. Stay Black.

Lee, kick this fucking mule.